#i’m from africa i don’t know shit about uk politics

[ash-tree-eyes]

You heard it here first folks; the fifteenth fear is the UK government and they are sending Mr Bonzo after your blood

[justmythots8]

Have The Harkle’s Lost Their Marbles?

I want to go over a couple of different things, so forgive me if I jump around. First, what in the bloody hell is going on with Sparkie & Harpie? Did they not get the memo about how their Royal African safari MUST be a success?

No, that can’t be right, they hired crisis PR firm Sunshine Sachs just in time for the tour, so they knew full well that this tour must be a hit, for their own good.

They wielded baby Archie like a weapon, descending upon South Africa like the second coming of Christ. (also no coincidence). And what do you know? It actually worked (sort of)! Harkle & Sparkle were finally turning things around, but the positive press coverage was short-lived, as it usually is surrounding the Sussex’s, because they can’t seem to keep their damned mouths shut.

Never mind that they seriously insulted the people of Britain by officially biting the hand that feeds, by showcasing their son to South Africa before showing him to the UK, to the people who, you know.... finance their every desire. It’s a true eye-opener.

Then, on the eve of the end of the Sussex African tour, an official palace statement by Harriet himself, was released:

That is a pretty aggressive statement, especially coming from a Royal, stunning almost every media outlet that covers the Royals, from sea to shining sea. They are threatening legal action against the press because they report, you know...the truth. What were they thinking? Declaring war on the media was not exactly what the Queen had in mind when she reiterated to them that a successful tour was crucial.

Personally, I feel that this is another empty, desperate attempt (at the discretion of their shiny PR firm Sunshine Sachs, of course) to intimidate the press in hopes that reporters will stop publishing negative (truthful) articles & only print positive installments about the Sussex’s. Why else would they attempt to sue a big-name media giant? It’s a risky move, and one that I’m convinced will have dire consequences for the Harkles.

At the risk of sounding like a cliche, MeGain wants to have her cake & eat it too. Literally. That is why abundant wealth & prestige aren’t enough for her. She cannot just have her heart desires. Live in palaces, wear designer clothes, and live in luxury. It’s not enough for her to just have these material things. She has to flaunt them publicly as well. This is why she cannot just shut her trap, and be grateful for the life she has been given silently.

This really isn’t looking good for them. I foresee an all out war declared on the Harkles, and a lot of dirty laundry being aired in the coming weeks & months. Whatever the press were holding back before, they won’t be now. But I can’t help but wonder if this was exactly why MeGain did it; for the publicity.

For someone like her, that is media-hungry & narcissistic, a quiet life free from the press is a prison sentence. Is this lawsuits sole purpose to drum up publicity? They have to stay relevant, afterall! They cannot achieve that by silently sitting in a gold-trimmed corner. The Harkles thrive on the attention. Good, bad or otherwise. And Meghan is determined to “not let her own needs & desires be put on the back burner”.

Doesn’t really sound like someone who is a new mom, now does it? That statement is completely ass-backwards. Her first priority in life should be that sweet little boy. Instead, she puts her own needs & wants ahead of her son. But what am I saying? What needs? What wants? What Smegs wants, Smegs gets, right?

There’s one last incident I want to discuss; And it was that incredibly rude media clip of Harriet scolding a reporter for you know, reporting. Asking about the Royal Tour, a reporter was trying to get harriets attention just before he jumped into his mail-order, next-day-delivery Range Rover. Harriet was clearly dismissing & informing her. Finally, he scathed at her “Don’t behave like this, Rhiannon”. Excuse me, what??? What exactly was she doing that was so terrible? She was calmly & politely asking a simple question about the South Africa tour! I think this little stunt is going to be the final nail in the proverbial coffin that is the Sussex Duo. Stick a fork in them, they are toast!

I personally was angered by Harriets outburst, because up until now, I have pretty much defended him from harsh criticizm. I believed that the majority of bad behavior and poor choices & deceptive practices & outlandish spending were coming from his wife. I thought he was a man who had been deceived, and felt trapped due to being a newly married man with a new baby. He would be seen as abandoning his young family. Not a good look for a Royal. But I take it all back..... Harriet is waist-deep in it right along with his wife.

I’m appalled. Harriet has proven he is nothing but a spoilt, ignorant, narcissistic, pompous little shit with a misplaced grudge against humanity. It’s harsh, but it’s reality. Suddenly, their “successful SA tour” went down the drain. After all this, I don’t know how anyone could support the Sussex’s.

We’re officially:

[hurryupimstarving]

I remember in 9th grade my english teacher made us write an essay about a turning point in our lives. I think I bullshitted my way through it. I was fourteen, emo, depressed, and thought I was ‘too cool for school’. But looking back on it, I’ve had a lot of turning points in my life and if they had never happened I’d be dead.

The first one was when my grandpa died. I was eight, he was getting taken off life support, I didn’t understand. There were words being strung together in an order that I couldn’t comprehend. “Let him go slowly.” “End his suffering.” “It’s better this way.” What are these words to an eight year old who only ever understood her grandpa as the man she had met a year ago who flew kites with her and bought her tooney chicken from KFC. I didn’t understand why he died. Later I learned it was because he was a heavy smoker and he only stopped when he met me. A good sentiment but a late one. My family never talked about it afterwards. I still sometimes find myself thinking he’s in the Philippines or somewhere out of my reach, but alive. That was my first meeting with Death. He smiled sweetly at me as he took my grandpa but after that the world seemed darker. A scary place where good men were taken from little girls who didn’t have a lot of good in their life. 

The next was when I was eleven. It wasn't a big moment but it stirred something in me. My teacher made us read “The Breadwinner” and that was the first time I ever comprehended the great expansiveness of this world. My biggest concerns at the time were keeping my friends and keeping away bullies. Parvana’s biggest concern was staying alive, where her father was, and feeding her family. I thought to myself, “How can life be so cruel to a child?” Later I learned that life is cruel to a great number of children and has been so for a very long time. I chose to dive into literature after that, expanding my views, learning about horrors, trying to understand Death.

He greeted me personally when I was thirteen. Young, depressed, and anxious I told my parents about my two suicide attempts. They took me to a doctor who told me they would forget that meeting. They would erase this from the records and forget my confession. This way I could still ‘get a job’. I broke after that. I crashed like a mirror dropped from a dainty hand and shattered into a million pieces. I sat alone in my bedroom with a pair of sewing scissors. Everything else sharp was taken away from me. I didn’t move for hours. I was frozen. Time stood still and all I did was look at Death. Death looked back at me. We didn’t speak, just paused there like dancers before a song begins. This is the first time he spoke. 

“Do you want to keep living like this?” He asked.

“No.”

“Then you have two options. Either you die or you live differently. Simple as that. What do you want?” He made it clear it was my choice. He never pressured me or forced me into something I didn’t want, just sat with me and waited. It took awhile but I chose to live. And live I would, much differently I promised him. 

I changed a lot after that. After the conversation with Death I was determined to live better. I still had anxiety, I still had depression, I still struggled. But at least I was trying. I signed up for a  week-long program in a different province. It was a youth conference and there we were learning about international affairs. It was my first time away from my parents, my first time away from my friends, my first time alone. I was so awkward it was painful. I’m embarrassed for myself. I made no friends, I didn't talked, and cried myself to sleep four out of the seven days. I was offered another choice after it ended. I could stay that awkward and shy or I could change. And change I did.

At fourteen someone believed in me. Even before I believed in myself. This was in the shadow of the conference and while I wanted to me more confident, it was easier said than done. Now I was kind of a smart kid, I never participated in class but I got decent grades. But then my social teacher made me a lawyer in a mock trial. I was shitting bricks. Not only did I have to talk in front of the class, I had to talk for a while and argue and win. I could’ve backed out but let’s be real I was too shy to talk to my teacher about it. So I did it. I ended up loving it. You don’t know the rush of confidence you get when you beat the popular kids in a mock trial with all their friends voting. I realized I was good. I wanted to keep being good. I chose to pursue law after that. I’m thankful for that teacher. At eighteen I had an early quarter life crisis. See while most people were planning their lives, I was busy trying to keep off Death. Each day I struggled with him and sometimes he won. I couldn’t see into the future because that day wasn’t even guaranteed. But I hit the age thirteen year old me never thought she would. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

“I guess you have some choices to make, huh?” Death smiled at me.

I chose to be a political science major and pursued that dream of becoming a lawyer. I started planning my life. Most people said it was too early but for someone who didn’t think she’d get to live this long I was excited. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to learn all that I could. I wanted to experience all that I could. But first up was the world. A bit of a daunting task but after facing off with Death nothing could be as challenging as that. 

I was nineteen when I studied abroad in Kampala, Uganda. I guess you could say I went all out. I travelled alone to a country I barely even heard about and there I was with eight other strangers in a three bedroom house in the middle of Africa. It was one of the best choices of my life. I don’t think I can recall a time I was happier. I was making strides in my law career and trying to understand why the world was so cruel to children. I interned with a group that made reusable sanitary pads and studied at Kampala University. I didn’t want to build a school, I wanted to know why a school was even needed. My salvation was tied with theirs and that is how I view everyone around me. I made some of the best friends I’ll ever have. Partied the hardest I ever had. Met the weird people I’ll ever meet. And fell in love with humanity. We are such a strange, crazy and simple species. But it also broke my heart. I realized how much privilege I lived with when a girl told me she wished she was a boy so she could go to school without worrying about her period. Another with better grades than I could ever wish to get told me university was a dream not meant for her. I felt like a coward when I could run from the pandemic. I decided to devote the rest of my life to evening the scales of this world.

I’m twenty now. Medicated for my anxiety and depression. I have alopecia and my hair is falling out. I want to study in the UK. I want to work in the international field. I want a family. And even though I still dance with Death I love my life, I wouldn’t trade it for an ounce more happiness. These turning points shaped me and these tears watered my roots and had me reaching for the sun. But I know this isn’t the end. I know this isn’t the best it can be. I know I’ll still struggle but I’ll take it because I love living.

I don’t know who I’m writing this for. If it’s for me or to help someone else or to get this narrative out of my head. I don’t know if this will help, I don’t even know if it’s comforting for me. But I feel that it needs to be said.

I was told the path to the good life was the constant acknowledgement of one’s choices. Understanding what we’re doing and the reasons behind them. I agree. Everything I’ve done in my life has been a choice. The path of my life is laid out before me but it is my choice to move forward. Staying where I am is comfortable and safe but Death will always be there. He’s the only thing I have to contend with and fear. But he’ll still be with me in the same spot and he’ll be with me further up. And what’s in front of me is new and exciting, so why not move forward?

[momentsinsong]

Moments In Song No. 022 - Ola

“Moments In Song” asks people one simple question, “What are you listening to?” For every installment we ask someone to make a playlist of 10 songs they’re listening to, whether it be something new they stumbled upon, or a song they’ve always loved, and explain the story behind their choices. We aim to show that no matter where we come from, what we do, or what we look like, music has the ability to bring us together.

With a playlist full of emotions, Ola talks to us about favorite hard hitting songs, how his father and brother introduced him to new music, and gives us a crash course on African Music.

Listen to Ola’s playlist on Apple Music and Spotify. 

Words and photos by Julian.

__________________________________________________________

Can you tell me about the thought process behind picking these 10 songs?

So like, just things I listen to everyday on my ride to work. I throw on my long playlist, and these are the songs that always hit extra hard. Like “Runaway” is my favorite song ever. “They Don’t Really Care About Us” is like the first song I memorized as a kid so it’s a hard hitting song. And “Tricky Bailey,” I remember when we crafted that in the Denny’s the day after a party (laughs). It things like that that inspired this playlist.

How difficult was it to pick 10 songs? Did they come easy to you, or did you have to take some time to think and pick the 10 you wanted?

I started with like fifty (laughs).

Fifty?!

And then I had to narrow it down. Because there’s a lot of songs that I listen to daily that I like that should’ve hit this list, but you have to take out the stuff that people may not understand, or won’t make sense. You have to take out the stuff that’s not on Apple Music (laughs). And then you have to find a good set that really speaks of who you are. You should be able to know that is the shit that Ola listens to when you pull this up.

What would you say this playlist explains about you?

It shows a bit of my style and what I like. It shows my mood and the different facets of myself. It’s not just always super rap, it’s not always super trap either. You can be lyrical, but you can be experimental, you can have fun and you can be sad. And it’s all cool.

What songs on your playlist would you say fit that experimental lane?

I mean for it’s time “Runaway” was considered experimental because Kanye was crying on autotune and nobody had really done that before. The joint with SAINt JHN is experimental because you can’t really put it in a lane. It’s not a rap song, it’s not R&B, it’s one of those little pop techno type because of how the beat goes. “Xanax Damage” is Future playing with the trap banger and being more emotional, which I don’t think a lot of people are big fans of but I love that shit. Emotional Future is the best.  

I know from just knowing you as a person, Kanye and Future are two of your favorites. What about them make them your favorites?

Because the make music that makes you feel. It’s all their rawest emotions, for better or for worse. Even when Future says things that are considered disrespectful, it’s how he feels raw and he doesn’t apologize for that. I appreciate that in artists. Same thing with Kanye, storming the stage to take that mic from Taylor Swift, it’s unapologetic, it’s raw. It’s ok to feel feelings. Everybody only talks about feelings when you’re winning. It’s ok when it sucks. If you’re not happy with yourself it’s ok to talk about how you’re not happy with yourself. It’s an emotion. That’s what I like about them, they’re very raw about their feelings. 

Also just be knowing you, I’m surprised I didn’t see any Fela Kuti on the playlist. I know he’s one of your favorites. Did you have any songs from him that didn’t make it on here?

I did but the problem is, how am I gonna fit a 32 minute song…(laughs) because I don’t like the way they do his singles. Some of the songs progress very interestingly, like from the way the bass comes in, some songs have 2 basses in them, one will abruptly come in when he calls for it, so it’s hard to fit those 20 minute, 14 minute, 35 minute long songs. 

Are they really that long?

Yeah. One of my favorites is like 36 minutes long.

What’s is called?

O.D.O.O. (Overtake Don Overtake Overtake). He used to call it African Classical Music. 

I don’t know much about him and his music, but are most of his songs live performance recordings? Is that why they’re so long?

Yeah a good amount of them. There’s “Just Like That” which I think was done in Detroit. The Berlin show was live and that was recorded into an album. There’s one he played Glastonbury in the UK too that became an album as well. A lot if it is live instruments, a live band. If any song would have made it, probably “Zombie” would’ve been the easiest to fit in because it’s very common so people would catch it faster. And it’s not too long, it’s about 12, 14 minutes.

I feel like with Future and Kanye, those are artists you listened to because of the time period you grew up. How’d you pick up on Fela, who’s an older act before your time?

My dad is an older guy, so he listens to older music. So I would listen to his music when he would drop me off to school, my older too he’s a music head and listens to a lot of older acts. When you start getting older, you start to look for things you like, so I started searching on YouTube and found one of his songs. That lead to clips of his concerts where he would say things that would resonate with me outside of the music. From his view on Africa, Black nationalism, how you should love your blackness, all of that. It was from there that he became my guy. I even wrote my college applications on him. He’s the man. Rest in peace to a real one. 

Building off of that, when did you start finding the music and artists you wanted to listen to, and developing your taste. 

When my brother first visited after we moved here, When I was a kid he would always play music and I would always remember songs and have it stuck in my head. There’s this one Micheal Jackson song actually, and not a lot of people know this but Michael Jackson is one of my favorites. He has this one song “Whatever Happens” and the only reason I remember it to this day is because I used to steal that CD out of his room and play it every night before I went to sleep. It’s little things like that that helped me pick what I like. And then from there you get YouTube, Limewire, all that good stuff, word of mouth with your friends too. Shout out to my boys who got me hip to Gucci when I was younger in High School. That’s how you start developing what you like. And then the sound evolves. I like Gucci, that’s why I like Future, because Gucci was the first trap god. And it goes from there, from Future you have a little bit of Travis Scott, Playboi Carti, you have different sounds. You branch off from one mumble to multiple mumbles. 

Would you say your brother and dad are two big influences as far as where you get your music from?

Hell yeah. I still remember I stole a CD from my dad in 2011 when I went back home for the summer. I still have it to this day even though I don’t have anything to play it on. 

What CD?

It’s Fuji Music in Nigeria. It’s this old CD from like 1987. It’s almost religious music but not really, in the sense that it started from religion. He’s talking about some foul shit because he can talk about foul shit, but another musician died so he’s talking about how we was a great guy and how everyone should remember him. He also talked about the politics at the time, and how the military was in charge of everything. And it’s all in Yoruba, so it’s how I remember my language as well.

Who’s the artist?

Alhaji Sikiru Ayinde Barrister.

Wow that’s a mouthful. Is Fuji Music a genre of music?

Correct. That’s why what they call “Afrobeats” today I personally don’t like calling it Afrobeats, because it’s not pure Afrobeats. The original Afrobeats is Fela’s music, and from Fela’s music there’s Juju music, there’s Fuji music, there’s music from the North, and also Highlife music, which are all subgenres of everything. So this new Afrobeats they’re playing is like taking bits and pieces for everything from above. When you call it Afrobeats it takes away from the original Afrobeats which is Fela’s lane, and it also kills everybody else’s music because when you Google Afrobeats once you get past the new guys, the first thing that comes up is Fela. You never really hear about the other ones.

So you’re saying Fuji Music is a branch of the original Afrobeat stuff? A subgenre?

It’s not even a subgenre. It developed around the same time almost. It just never blew up.

Oh so it ran parallel to Afrobeat?

Correct. It just never blew like it should.

Are you saying what people call Afrobeats now is more similar to Fuji Music?

It’s like a combination of all three. I don’t necessarily want to say it’s closer because it’s the same effect. The call, the rhythm. Sometimes there’s a lot of instruments in the background. Fuji has a certain style. You’re just talking shit sometimes. They all have it in them too. It’s not necessarily devoted to one lane like they call it. Afrobeat was the one to blow up first, so that’s why the name was sticking and that’s why it’s easier to call everything that’s come after Afrobeat. Fuji never really escaped the borders, because it’s also tied to the language. If you don’t understand the language you’ll never be able to understand the songs. 

Are there any current Afrobeats artists that match the original sound of Afrobeat?

Yeah Fela’s sons still play. Like 2 of his sons play. Even his grandons play.There’s also a few bands that sound like his stuff. There’s a band in America, Antibalas, that sounds like the original Afrobeat with the big band feel. You have different horns, the basses, everything coming into it. There’s a few of them out there. But everything’s gone pop. Everything that they call Afrobeats I’d rather call it Afro-pop music. Because it’s popular music. It’s taking from everybody. Not just even Nigrean Afrobeats, but they’re taking things from other countries in West Africa. The French speakers for example, Southern African music is coming into it now. It’s only a matter of time till we take from East Africa. 

Yeah I feel that. I feel like the same thing could be said for some Reggaeton now. A lot of it is heavily pop influenced, and has some electronic sounds in it. You got like DJ Snake making songs with J. Balvin and calling it Reggaeton now. 

And that doesn’t make it bad because some of the music is fire. 

Yeah definitely.

Let’s just not kid ourselves on what we’re calling it. There’s nothing wrong with Pop music, Pop music is fine. It’s not a derogatory term.   

What would you want people to take away from this playlist?

Future is the best rapper of all time. 

Ok (Laughs).

But nah seriously, music is cool. Music has different feels to it. There’s happy songs here that have you going. There’s sad songs. That song “Descent” at the end, when I get married I’m gonna play that joint when my wife is walking up to me and I will cry real tears. That is one of the most beautiful songs of my life. Music is feels and it's cool.

Connect with Ola:

https://twitter.com/doflamxngo

https://www.instagram.com/doflamxngo/

Connect with Moments In Song:

https://www.instagram.com/momentsinsong/

https://twitter.com/moments_in_song

https://tinyurl.com/MISAppleMusic

https://tinyurl.com/MISSpotify

[defensefilms]

I Cringe At Everything Kyrie Irving Says

Yo,bro. I can’t with this man anymore.

And when bro goes and brings up Africa, like fam, why do ya’ll only mention Africa when it’s time to fake virtue signal for the conspiracy nonsense? 

I speak for all Africans when I say, we are tired of being used by conspiracy theorists for bullshit arguments being bandied by intellectually lazy people who watch too much Zeitgeist or Hidden Colors, or whatever other bullshit source you’re borrowing talking points from.

We have worked hard to give ourselves real educations in fields that are actually deserving of study, and we would like the virtue signalling to STOP!!!!!!!!!!

I also don’t think people are mad enough about the fact that this man did an entire post game press conference, and didn’t talk basketball at all. I know the media ask the questions, but the Nets are a losing team, so what’s the bet that Kyrie wants to dwell on that topic?

Here’s the thing. 

Essentially, what Kyrie Irving and Kanye West are talking about with regards to Israel is the same thing that got Jeremy Corbyn (a prominent UK politician), screwed over by his own political party, I wrote a blog about that if you want to read it. (click here)

My problem is that Kanye and Kyrie being the ones to say this, makes them seem something other than genuinely interested in what’s happening in that part of the world and that they only want to engage this topic because it is the political hot button topic of the moment, and if something else was as controversial they’d probably speak about that.

It’s not about what’s morally right to these guys. It’s about Search Engine Optimization, Algorithms, Monetization, and ensuring you’re associated with the content that guys like Alex Jones, Ben Shapiro, Dave Rubin, and yes ofcourse, Candace Owens, have created, because they’ve proven that you can monetize controversial speech, and advertisers will pay for it.

That’s why all these associations are so important to Kanye, and it appears they’re going to become important to Kyrie Irving too. 

I’m not enamoured with this trick. 

When I was in high school, if you tried to engage political discourse through the lense of a conspiracy theorist, you were laughed at, now the whole world is so dumbed down that conspiracy theories from the 60′s and 70′s have become normal political discourse.

The problem is that you live in the era of information and you can find better ways to inform your opinion than the lazy shit these guys are coming with.

You don’t have to lean on the globalist conspiracy because you can get better quality information than that, information that’s more specific. 

We don’t have to go looking for a multi-national corporation seeking to takeover the world because those have existed since colonialism. Frankly, if you know your history, that idea is already old.

We already know governments are capable of spying, and or silencing dissent among their people because the KGB already pulled that off in the 60′s.

You don’t need to believe that all the world’s powers are in cahoots because we already know that austerity exists, and so does cronyism, so does nepotism, and all the other hallmarks of unfairness/injustice.

Conversations like these are undermined by guys like Kanye and Kyrie, because if you think that guys that are involved in the selling of their own branded shoes make good revolutionaries or thought leaders, they don’t, they’re great for marketing though, even if they’re not really helping themselves.

It’s all fun and games until Kyries realizes he’s unwittingly teaming up with the right wing and the inevitable 180 when he realizes that republicans don’t buy Kyrie 7′s.

[toxicbolts]

1. We didn't side with Nazis. We became a fascist country bc the republic fell after a huge civil war in which only the Soviets helped the non-fascist side. While you all did nothing

2. We didn't even fight the second world war because our own civil war ended in 1939. Again, because you "forces of liberty" did nothing, like it happened to Poland and Czechoslovakia. Funny, right?

3. The UK fought when the danger towards them was imminent. Again, Poland, Austria, and Czechoslovakia had been already invaded

4. It was the Soviet Union who lost the most lives and fought the most against Hitler. They were also the ones that first arrived to Berlin... After passing through occupied land, no less

5. Not that the economical crisis wasn't the EUs fault and you brexit loving asses. Surely the problem are the people working below the living wage and not capitalism and banks. Racist combo! Awfully nice of you, a British, the most usual tourist in here, whose people destroy our beaches and streets and natural resources, to call others barbarians. Also you don't like it very much when we Spaniard migrate there bc we need to eat! Interesting how you complain about our immigration while you're the ones coming here every single year or buying our properties and then complaining about us! Wrow!

6. There are apparently no LGBT ppl in Africa, and they're all very homophobic, unlike you who seems to be the most progressive fellow around!

7. My country has lived a civil war recently and we are still paying the consequences. What has yours done, but creating wars in other places to take their money?

8. Since my country is a mess, I can't call yours out of the shit it is apparently

9. I'm a lawyer, no matter how much you try to ignore that fact to pretend I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not playing politics, because I can lose a lot, unlike you who is totally allowed to play with them with no consequences. You feeling threatened by a woman, and a lesbian doesn't mean I'm magically not qualified. Something that cannot be said about you

10. I'm a coward for blocking you? Really? The guy defending the one who is literally holding the gun? You're so brave! I should totally keep wasting my time with you! Also big words from someone who blocked my friend immediately after sending this

[yeonchi]

2021 Mid-Year Report

A lot of things can change in a year, but even more things can change in six months than you think. This is going to be a special post styled like my end-of-year reviews that focuses on the events of the past six months. I don’t know if I’ll be doing this again next year because I felt like making this post; in fact, I don’t know when I’ll stop posting my end-of-year reviews either.

Looking back at Sea Princesses

This time last year, I was in the midst of the second coronavirus lockdown in Melbourne, unemployed on double benefits without needing to look for work. At the same time, I was working on translating and reviewing the Princesas do Mar books, which I had brought from Amazon the month before. My original intention was to buy the books once I had saved up enough money from putting aside part of my paycheck, but looking back, I knew I made a better decision buying the books when I did.

At the same time, Fabio Yabu had also released the main series books as ebooks on Amazon Kindle and would begin releasing translated versions of the first four literacy series books on there as well. A year on, the last two literacy series books have still not been published as yet, though Ubook would publish them as audiobooks in Brazil (with the exception of Turtles in Danger for some reason). In our communications, Yabu had expressed interest in publishing translated versions of the main series books (based on my translations), but the last time we spoke in May, he stated that he had a lot going on, so that has been put on hold for the time being.

From time to time, I go on the wiki and make edits wherever I feel like. This isn’t something that I really needed to express, but I wanted to do so because I am planning on putting the translated episode names on their respective pages eventually. That information was originally posted on the International Entertainment Project Wiki before they planned to move the episode lists to Miraheze but never ended up doing so. Though the episode lists with the translated episode names have been taken down from the IEP Wiki, I have managed to save them and I will put them up on the Sea Princesses Wiki gradually and eventually. Keep in note that the only languages I have all the translated titles for are Brazilian Portuguese, Castilian Spanish and German; sources for other languages are always appreciated.

I’ve been thinking about this question time and time again over the years, but I’ve never brought myself to bring it up on Tumblr until now - Would I like to see a reboot, revival or continuation of Sea Princesses? My answer is both yes and no. I say yes because there is so much unexplored potential and unanswered questions in both the books and animated series with things like the Barracuda Kingdom saga, Marcello and Marcela, more interactions with other characters, more focus on other characters and so forth. However, I also say no because usual reboot criticism aside (character designs are shit, story is shit etc), I fear that the character designs of the Sea Princesses may not sit right with certain people and that they may be misconstrued as jailbait or something like that. While it would be nice to see something new in regards to Sea Princesses someday, that all depends on whether Fabio Yabu is interested in revisiting it like he did the Combo Rangers nearly a decade ago. And besides, if Yabu isn’t interested, then who needs him when I’ve made so much Sea Princesses content over the past few years, including my takes on the continuation of the series in Kisekae Insights? Which brings us to our next topic...

Kisekae Insights and my transition into adult life

In case you haven’t heard, I started at a new job at the end of May and it’s been quite full-on. Amidst all the distractions around me and my commitment to finish up my personal project by the end of this year, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make two instalments of Kisekae Insights per month as I promised in #21, but as I made clear from the very start, there is no set schedule for the series, so this isn’t necessarily the end of the second run. I decided to just take the rest of my personal project at my own pace and I will possibly do likewise with Kisekae Insights.

Coronavirus and vaccines

At the start of June, Melbourne went into a week-long circuit breaker lockdown that later became two weeks long. This was our fourth lockdown after a short third lockdown in February that lasted five days. And it just so happened that I had to start working from home because of it. It’s not that bad, I’m currently doing a mix of WFH and onsite working so I don’t have to wake up at 6 AM (play on my phone and wake up at like 6:30) and take two hours of public transport just to get to work five days a week.

Numerous variants of the coronavirus have been discovered in the past year. We have variants originating in the UK (Alpha/B.1.1.7), South Africa (Beta/B.1.351), Brazil (Gamma/P.1) and India (Delta/B.1.617.2) among others. The Indian (Delta) variant in particular has been the reason for the recent lockdowns in Australia.

In regards to the naming of the coronavirus and its variants, it’s absolutely funny how their timing came about. When the original coronavirus started in Wuhan, China and was declared to the WHO on 31 December 2019, the WHO named the resulting disease COVID-19 on 11 February 2020, keeping in mind that Asian crybabies were crying about “China Virus”, “Wuhan Virus” or “Kung Flu” back then and are probably still crying about it now. At the start of June, the WHO announced that they would use Greek letters to refer to the variants when the media have used “UK variant”, “Indian variant” etc for months, which is longer than it took mainstream media and society to adopt the name COVID-19. Though their motivation to do this is to prevent stigmatisation like with the original coronavirus, I have heard nothing about British, South African, Brazilian or even Indian people being discriminated over the variants. It’s almost like people have more problems with “China Virus” than “UK variant”, “Indian variant” etc because they somehow have a need to please China and make people realise that all Asians aren’t the same. On top of that, obscuring the variants will eventually lead to people being confused over their origins when more of them inevitably emerge.

Recently, investigations into the origin of the coronavirus have been ongoing, much to China’s ongoing outrage and condemnation. When the coronavirus started, there was a theory that it somehow leaked from a lab in Wuhan; back then, people were laughed for believing it (because Trump was the one who was talking about it), but now, the mainstream media is going with that story while covering the investigations (because Biden’s the one who is talking about it now). It’s almost like a big “I told you so” from the people who knew better.

I’ve said this in my Red Pill Year post and I’ll say it again; all this fuss over naming the coronavirus and its variants to prevent stigmatisation is just an act of political correctness for China’s sake. While I have started to warm to the term COVID-19 (in a humourous and ironic sense), I still stand by my current positions so far; while I don’t entirely agree with “China virus”, I still refer to it as the “Wuhan coronavirus” because it started in Wuhan until proven otherwise beyond all reasonable doubt, whether it leaked from the lab or whatever. I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have much of a problem with this if the virus didn’t start in China. I’m a person who doesn’t really mind or care about political correctness if it’s just a little bit here and there, but given the events of the past decade, I draw the line when it comes to China.

Let’s talk about vaccines now. Vaccines have been a big topic over the past six months - in Hong Kong, Sinovac Biotech’s CoronaVac vaccine has become a meme in the pro-democracy population because to May, there were 24 deaths recorded as a result of side effects compared to the alternate BioNTech vaccine with 6 deaths. Granted, the deaths were in people aged 50 and over (possibly with underlying health conditions), but it has given people a reason to hold off or even refrain from getting the vaccine. On a side note, the “you’re going to Brazil” meme has never felt realer because CoronaVac is one of the vaccines being offered in Brazil along with Argentina, Colombia and Peru. My thoughts and prayers go to them at this point in time.

Now, I am by no means an anti-vaxxer, but I stand by the belief that coronavirus vaccines should be voluntary and not mandatory (I wish I could say the same for other vaccines, but I’d be perpetuating a double standard because adults are in control of our lives before we reach the age of majority). There are some countries and places that are providing incentives to people who get vaccinated, with quite a few of them being offered in the form of prize draws. In all honesty, given the nature of these vaccines, I don’t see the point of prize draws as incentives because there is no other benefit for those who don’t win except for protection against coronavirus, its associated symptoms, or even a release from our agonising and pitiful existences.

My main fear is that vaccine stigmatisation and discrimination might become mainstream with the existence of things like vaccine passports, where people who haven’t taken the vaccine are disallowed from accessing basic services. I can live with wearing masks indoors and on public transport and without leaving the country or even the state, but if the slippery slope gets to a point where people aren’t allowed to shop at supermarkets, eat at restaurants, take public transport or even hold a job without getting vaccinated, that’s the point where I start to become an anti-vaxxer.

There are some industries where getting vaccinated is not only highly recommended, but essential, such as health and aged care. I (luckily) don’t work in those industries so my opinion probably won’t matter, but if you work around vulnerable people regularly, then you as an individual should be responsible for taking the necessary precautions to prevent coronavirus infections and deaths.

So here’s my personal stance on this whole vaccination debacle; I will personally not be getting vaccinated for the foreseeable future, but I am not against people getting vaccinated if they so choose. This is not only because of the potential side effects or even my fear of needles (anyone who points this out to me is missing the point because my reasoning would be the same regardless of it), but because of the potential for the stigmatisation and discrimination of people who choose not to get vaccinated, the erosion of human rights for said people and most of all, the way that China has been involved in all of this; the vaccines were made to combat a virus that originated in China and I am particularly wary of some things coming from China, whether the vaccine is Chinese-made or otherwise.

Hong Kong pessimism

Things in Hong Kong have gotten worse over the past six months and they’re only about to get worser, but in spite of this, I believe that it will be all for the greater good.

Of significance, Apple Daily published their last issue on Thursday 24 June, taking down their website, social media and YouTube accounts on the same day. I used to make shitposts on a separate Facebook page by sharing their posts with satirical captions, sometimes with slurs (particularly the n-word on articles relating to mainland China) until some bitch I was having a feud with kept reporting my posts and got my page unpublished (he would have nearly taken my account with it if I hadn’t called him out and told him to kill himself, at which point we agreed to end the feud). Now that the Apple Daily Facebook page is gone, a lot of the shitposts on my personal page have gone as well; if I hadn’t deleted my separate page following the feud, chances are that I would be making plans to delete it by now because posts from that page made up a majority of my shitposts.

Since its founding in 1995, Apple Daily has been part of the mainstream media in Hong Kong, but due to its pro-democracy (and pro-Hong Kong) stance, it has been pushed to the fringe while other mainstream media outlets (like TVB) expressed pro-government/pro-police/pro-Beijing stances. While other pro-democracy news pages have popped up, there is a chance that the government may crack down on them following the enactment of the National Security Law one year ago; in short, Apple Daily was just in their way and the government will come for them eventually.

RTHK isn’t faring any better; while they are still running as a public radio and television service, they’ve been reined in by the government after their coverage of the 21 July 2019 attacks in Yuen Long. You know, the one where KKK members (in white clothes) lynched black(-clothed) people publicly in a train station and two police were seen walking away as emergency calls were being rejected? Earlier this year, some of RTHK’s programs were removed from their YouTube channel, claiming that their policy was to make content available for one year only, which is obviously not an excuse to fix their apparent pro-democracy bias.

Just last week on 25 June, there was a government reshuffling that led to a former police officer becoming chief secretary, the current police chief being the secretary for security and the deputy police commissioner becoming the chief commissioner. This just reaffirms my belief that all cops are bastards and that from 1 July, my bios on Facebook and Tumblr will be changing to highlight this and the plight of Hongkongers under these turbulent times. I’ve been wary of the Hong Kong police since their actions in the 2014 Occupy Central protests, but I officially became an ACABer sometime in 2020.

Here’s the thing. The government has outright ignored or rejected our requests for change over the years, so pro-democracy supporters are calling for a revolution, which the Chinese government somehow sees as advocating for independence, so the supporters have no hope of achieving their demands unless Hong Kong becomes independent from China, but the Chinese government is obviously not going to allow it, so they naturally turn to the international community for help. While sanctions did have an effect on the officials looming over Hongkongers, we are at an impasse right now because the next eventual step would be war, but no country wants to be responsible for firing the first shot, so the international community resorts to diplomacy while the Chinese government turns to condemning international interference in their internal affairs time and time again.

If, someday, the revolution were somehow successful and Hong Kong were to be liberated the way the protesters wanted, you know the first thing I would like to see? A fucking holocaust. I’d like to see a fucking holocaust of all the government officials who caused us suffering, the police officers who were “just following orders” and all the braindead boomers, Mainland Chinese n-words and other n-word lovers who have nothing but hatred for real Hongkongers. But hey, we all know that’s not going to happen because anyone who advocates for it is no worse than Hitler. Oh wait, that means I’m worse than Hitler because I said all that. Well, I guess that’s what I get for being pissed off at everything that’s happened and venting about it on the internet lol.

After Apple Daily’s shutdown, I have essentially doubled down on all of my beliefs. I have no sympathy for anyone who won’t stand with Hongkongers, and by that I mean anyone who actively stands against Hongkongers or turns traitor by questioning our motives and standing against them (I don’t really have an opinion on anyone who decides to stay silent because I don’t know what their true motivations would be). In short, anyone who doesn’t support Hongkongers is an n-word or n-word lover.

I’m really sorry for sounding toxic or harsh in anything I said about Hong Kong in the past couple of years. I only say these things because I really fucking love Hong Kong and I only hope that I won’t have to fear being confronted by the police or saying anything wrong the next time I visit Hong Kong with my family. Until things get really better, I’ve decided that Hong Kong is off-limits for me, but for now, let the government keep accelerating and laam chauing Hong Kong by themselves. It shows just how scared of us they are when they blame us for its eventual destruction, because in the end, it’s for the greater good.

UPDATE - 3 July 2021: I heard about the guy who stabbed a police officer then killed himself on 1 July. To be honest, I don’t feel sorry for the cop nor do I condemn what the guy did, particularly now that I’m fully into ACAB. People should be thinking about what motivated the guy to martyr himself in a lone wolf attack, namely the actions of the government over the past 24 years and the police over the last 7 years. Yet another reminder that all cops are bastards.

The US and Palestine

I have to say, Joe Biden has subverted my expectations when it came to Hong Kong and China. A lot of us feared that his administration would undo the hard work Trump’s administration did, but at the very least, they are still wary of the current situation and things have stayed pretty much the same.

As for Palestine, I would like to state that I stand with the oppressed peoples of the world and that goes for the Palestinians (and on a side note, Myanmar) as well. Jewish people have become a meme with their stereotypes and while I am not antisemitic, I apply the ACAB logic to them because it’s the system (or Jewish beliefs and Israeli governance) that is the problem here (haha AJAB lol). Ironically, it’s like Eric Cartman’s Mel Gibson fan club in real life.

Anyway, I think I’ve said enough. Despite all the harsh things I’ve said, I only hope that the world will become a better place one day, but until then, I wish you peace in these turbulent times.

沿途在　修理著熄了的曙光 祝你在亂流下平安

[theaveragekenyan]

Hungry Heart...

Hungry Heart.

A quick game of ‘Family Fortunes’. (Family Fortunes the game show where the answers were requested from a publicly polled question, i.e)

Q = Name a type of American Food.

A = Hamburger ....our survey says, Hamburger ✅ Top answer.

Next;

Q - Name a type of Italian Food.

A = Pizza …our survey says, Pizza ✅ Top Answer

Next;

Q - Name a type of Kenyan food.

A = Ugali…our survey says, Ugali ✅ Top Answer. 

I’m confident the above responses would be the most popular answers to those questions if a survey were taken on the streets of Nairobi today.  

Ask Donald Trump, what’s better than a Hamburger? Juicy, succulent ground beef with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, pickle, mustard, ketchup all held together by an air pumped bread bun…nothing fake at all about that. 

Or what about a Pizza? oven fired circular dough, topped with an infinite amount of cheese options under any mix of vegetables and meat varieties…a billion deliveries every year can’t be wrong.

And let’s not forget a Kenyan staple, Ugali, ground maize meal, mixed with boiling water and then formed into a solid white ball. Delicious, well, ok…it’s not really delicious…it’s more a way of life and enjoyed because there’s very little other choice. 

Kenyan Food is interesting, because historically, food has developed into…well…food.

The food theory hasn’t moved too far away from the ‘don’t eat, die’ philosophy rather than into fancy cuisine. 

This is why I find the average Kenyan meal to be “BnB”, basic and bland, and Ugali has to stand right up there as a great example of BnB food.

Ugali has various names across Africa and is eaten by many, so African’s aside, It is a guarantee that all foreigner’s will be quizzed by Kenyan’s to find out if they have eaten Ugali. If the answer is yes, the next question will be ‘do you like Ugali?’

And this is when the foreigner will become increasingly awkward, stutter and generally skirt around the BnB fact. The foreigner will mince out cloaked enthusiasm and say “Yes…I’ve tried it…it’s nice…I…..like it” blatantly, the foreigner doesn’t want to get anywhere near describing it’s taste or what it’s eaten with. Essentially anything to not offend the Kenyan national dish.

Then, in the not too distant future, the foreigner will be with the person, that asked all of the Ugali questions, when Lunch is served. 

Naturally, the foreigner will be bumped up to pole position in the queue for food.

The food will be covered, all the lids down on the large metallic serving trays and then one by one up they pop. First serving tray open and it’s a large fresh tray of steaming Ugali.

As the cellophane is proudly pealed away,  “Ugali” announces the Kenyan “You said Ugali is nice” 

Now the food server hears this and loves it, how they laugh as the heavy serving spoon sinks into the epic Ugali field. The foreigner is now looking at the true scale of Ugali, out comes a Rugby ball sized portion and is placed on their plate “is that enough?” the server asks without irony. 

“Yes, plenty, Asantee” squirms the foreigner politely. On piles the rest of lunch, but there’s not much room on the plate for anything else. So the foreigner sits down at a table, with their plate of Ugali and other small scale assorted bitings, as the Kenyan’s join.

They all ask the same question “Oh, you like Ugali?” “Yes, I do, but this is a little bit too much for me” replies the foreigner, only to be met with “Oh that’s not much really” from the Kenyan’s, the foreigner looks around and realises this is no lie, food is stacked up on top of Ugali which rises up to peoples chests, steam touching their chins. The foreigner takes the first enthusiastic fork full to barrels of laughter 

“Eat it with your hands” say the Kenyans, 

“We eat Ugali with our hands” the advice continues to come in. 

The foreigner now has to quickly scan around to check how that’s done, they see many shovelling hands with golf ball sized portions of Ugali, scooping up sauce and trapping bits of meat and spinach. The foreigner gives it a go, but soon realise they’ve broken off too much Ugali and now their ball is the size of a Tennis ball. Oh dear, now they’ve got to eat up more Ugali than they thought they ever could. Each bite feels like it’s draining brain juice as their mouth dries to resemble the Sahara desert. There’s easily still 4 more bites of the Ugali ball to go. It’s time for evasive action, “hmmmm tha wath delithuth” splutters the foreigner as they stand up, turn around and spit their mouths content onto their plate and scrape it into the bin, I’ll never eat Ugali again they tell themselves.  

I think the closest comparison to Ugali would be Mashed Potatoes, well mashed potatoes if you don’t add salt, pepper, butter and milk. At least with mashed spuds, the extra additions don’t stop there; cheese, beetroot, butternut, Brussels, balsamic vinegar, mustard, soy sauce, chilli sauce all work to break up the classic spud recipe’s monotony.  Nothing like that with Ugali, oh hang on…it can be made either white or brown…the only difference being, brown Ugali soaks up your blood. 

Speaking of Mashed Potato, there is a fancy mash version here called Mukimo, it’s very nice. It’s bright green and has whole kernels of hard maize in it. I prefer it to Ugali, but it’s definitely one to serve yourself and not have a Kenyan do it for you. 

For the the larger part of Kenya, food is readily available, but with the poverty found in such places as the Nairobi slums, food has to be simple and within a ridiculously low daily budget, people don’t have too much of a choice to be flambéing duck or questioning how many times their chips have been deep fried. 

From my travels, I’ve noticed that many Kenyan meals will have been cooked for a good proportion of the day. Usually a slow cook involves beans and pulses, incredibly healthy, wholesome and organic, but also served incredibly dull. It’s essentially a bean stew with little flavour or signature kick. It’s like a can of ‘no frills vegetable soup’ that’s been boiled for 5 hours. It has a certain appeal, but it’s nothing special, yet to talk to a Kenyan about boiled beans or “Githeri” as it’s called, is, as if, it is some kind of speciality cuisine. Each region seems to have it’s own version, but the variety doesn’t seem to change that much, maybe one region adds carrots or potatoes and that’s about it. I guarantee, if that dish had originated in one of the poorest regions of China, it would be a real delicacy now. Sure you’d get the odd bat claw stuck between your teeth, but nonetheless, I imagine it would be an overall tastier experience than “Githeri”. Thanks Chef’s of Kenya, but I’ll stick with the English delicacy of baked beans on toast, cupboard to table in less than 10 minutes. 

That slow cooking style reverberates through many culinary styles. In fact, most food is slow cooked, this is why the over 70’s love eating here. Pasta is never al-dente, cabbage doesn’t come with a crunch, meat is a lottery as to how how much jaw action will be needed and eggs are always over cooked. Unless you’re in a Western priced Hotel or restaurant, food is never considered to be served ‘just cooked’, I’m yet to find a boiled salad, but I know it’s out there. Note to self, Boiled Salad, somebody get me Heston Blumenthal. 

The word Koroga means 'to stir’ in Swahili. A ‘foody’ experience, that is often talked about, is the Koroga. This is apparently a uniquely Kenyan Swahili experience. However, from my experience, what I was told about a Koroga and what I actually encountered at a Koroga were two completely different experiences.

This is what I was told about a Koroga.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who will start the event off by selecting meats, vegetables, herbs and spices and then start adding them all into a large pot. These ingredients will be cooked by the party as as the pot is regularly stirred by the party, whilst  allowing everything to cook for about 4-5 hours.

A Curry based BBQ, I mean that sounds like a proper great time. 

No, not quite, in fact from my experience, this is what actually happens.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who, once everyone has arrived and is indicated to start will instruct a Chef to add meat, vegetables, herbs and spices into a large pan and then cook everything for the guests, this will be then served 3-4 hours later when the most stirred things are the guests who are totally shit-faced from all the boozing whilst waiting for the food to be cooked. I just think the Koroga idea hasn’t really been properly thought out. It’s closest relative the BBQ or Braai work extremely well, but its USP is about DIY food and standing around the grill complaining. The Koroga’s USP is that the Chef decided to cook everything outside rather than in the kitchen, sorry, I just don’t get the appeal. 

One dish that is cooked quickly, at least I think it’s cooked quickly, is Nyama Choma. 

Translated literally - Nyama is meat - Choma is burn.  A Meat Burn. 

“I’ve heard it’s going to be lovely on Saturday, so you’re all invited around to ours for a Meat Burn” 

Fortunately, the meat isn’t burnt, not like at UK BBQ’s,

The choices of meat are;

Mbuzi = Goat. 

Kuku = Chicken. 

Nyama = any other type of Red Meat that is from a Cow. 

Sorry Lamb and Pork, this scene is not for you, go find your own Meat Burn.

Just like any badly managed BBQ/Braai, the final cook quality is hit and miss, the hits involve nice juicy tender bites of meat and sucked out marrowbone.  The misses include, chewy, sinewy, fatty meat if you can find it, and once again the experience lacks imagination. The only seasoning you will get is salt and there will only be one accompaniment to the meat which is called Kachumbari, a mix of tomato, onion and chilli.

So Kenyan Meat Burn’s are for the real purists only. I do love Nyama Choma though, if not just for it’s back to basic 10,000 BC appeal. 

One experience I never tire of, is a Kenyan breakfast in a Hotel. The breakfast routine follows the International standard of the best planned meal of the day. It starts at the Juice bar and ends up at the bloated Pig table. There’s always a great choice at a Kenyan breakfast, although many will be disappointed at the lack of bacon on offer, that’s because Kenyan’s prefer sausages to Bacon hands down. 

I like that many of the previous nights dinner offerings will be now re-served for breakfast. So there are always surprises to be had like Green Banana Curry, Githeri, Fish stew, Roast Potatoes, Lentil Stew and anything else that didn’t get eaten the night before.

Hands down, my favourite experience of a Kenyan breakfast is observing the Egg Chef. You’ll know it’s the Egg Chef because they will be dressed like the top google image search for Chef. 

The egg is treated with the most respect, kept separately and away from all the other dishes that are hidden underneath aluminium lids. The Eggs will never come into contact with the mixed up serving spoons covered in bean juice and banana curry, they are not good enough for the eggs. But wait, what’s this, what’s hiding underneath here?, oh it’s the Hard Boiled Eggs, the common, dirty poor bastard parent of the free and easy, liberated, naked eggs that the Egg Chef will caress and massage into a beautiful work of art. 

The Egg chef will be situated at the start of the line, but when you want him, he won’t be there. I say he, the Egg Chef is always a he, no Woman in Kenya is considered prestigious enough to do this job. The Egg Chef and Kenyan President are two Jobs women will never perform. 

So what tends to happen is this, in the absence of the Egg Chef people will pile up their plates first. Then the Egg Chef appears exactly when he wants, just like the true artist he is, only then will the egg orders be taken. 

Now the only cooking utensils the Egg Chef possesses are a frying pan and a spatula. So this limits the type of egg available to either a Fried Egg or an Omelette. I always like to joke I’ll take a poached Egg, but it’s short-lived because nobody understands what I’m saying. Don’t be getting technical with the Egg Chef, his position of authority is untouchable. 

Fried Eggs will be cooked in either two choices, “cooked” or “sunny side up”. The majority of times I’ve requested Sunny Side Up, the eggs have been served closer to raw, which is a little too avant-garde for me. So, they have to be sent back which will be re-served ‘cooked’. 

My advice, request cooked. 

If you’re asking for an omelette it will be either served “with everything” or “without everything”. “Without everything” is a plain egg omelette “With everything” is an Omelette mixed with finely chopped onion, capsicum and chilli pepper. Both Omelette varieties are good, but as previously mentioned, they will be “cooked”, i.e a properly cooked through, no nonsense, fuss free, nothing moving, Omelette. That said, they go down well and the pomp and circumstance of the occasion overrides any need for a fancy, modern, runny consistency. 

I’ve spoken to many people that blame the style of Kenyan food on Colonisation. 

Typical, blame the Brits for bequeathing a bland stereotypical diet. 

This is not true, because anyone that says they don’t like British Cuisine then goes onto say, except they like Pork Pie, Mr Kipling Cakes, Sausage Rolls, Full English Breakfast, Chicken Tikka Masala, Black Pudding, Sausage and Mash, Fish and Chips, Mushy Peas, Deep Fried Mars Bar, Jammie Dodgers, Sunday Roast, The Tasting Menu at The Fat Duck, Gordon Ramsey swearing, Monster Munch, Jellied Eels and Roast Badger. 

There, conclusive evidence that England has a varied and incredibly well established culinary tradition of original and modern food. 

So whilst there is an excellent and extensive varied selection of Kenyan restaurants, serving truly excellent food, once you step outside of all that and roam into the realms of “lazy” Kenyan food, you will be craving Pickled Onion Monster Munch all day long. 

[eglantinian]

I’m happy to be tagged by the wonderful @ladywolfmd (merci à meilleur) (^_^)/~~~ 

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better

1. nicknames: in here, I’m called as either these: enjolras, prouvaire, courfeyrac, or leara (the last is owing to my leara bribage accounts in FFNET and AO3. feel free to call me any of these). 

2. gender: hmm. biologically female. well, for the most part. i’m demi/sapiosexual and biromantic, but i still am sort of confused at the moment. so let’s leave it at that for now. although if you’re an expert on this kind of discourse, please talk to me. 

3. star sign: the twins 

4. height: i’m 5′1, too ladywolfmd so i feel ya

5. time: 21h07 


6. birthday: june, about a fortnight after the barricade falls

7. favourite bands: (too many, but here are my top 4 in random order) a. post-modern jukebox (your modern songs with the pizzazz of jazz, r’n’b, soul, etc -- sang by varied artists) | e.g. Maps - Vintage 1970s Soul Maroon 5 Cover ft. Morgan James

b. up dharma down (if you’re in for some really, really feels song, this band would give you this) | e.g. Feelings - Up Dharma Down 

c. fréro delavega (chill ass music) | e.g. Ton Visage 

d. queen (need i say more?) | e.g. Don’t Stop Me Now

8. favourite solo artist: adam lambert | haley reinhart | stephanie martin | aaron tveit | samantha barks | jeremy jordan | philippa soo (shit i have too many and also ok not everyone here is a solo artist, but i just love these amazing singers and a lot of them deserve a solo career tbh)

9. song stuck in my head: jean-jacques rosseau’s j’ai perdu tout mon bonheur 


10. last movie i watched: antigone (1961)  (this sophoclean greek tragedy is my new obsession)

11. last show i watched: erm. i don’t watch tv a lot. nor do i stream a lot. so i can’t really recall properly.... but i think it’s the disappointing donerys episode of got 

12. when did i create my blog: april 2013... of course. les misérables was the highlight of that year. 

13. what do i post: anything les misérables, assassin’s creed, star wars, greek tragedy, some political stuff, litetary faves, mood stuff, my fanfics, fic recs, and other distant mesh

14. last thing i googled: jean-paul sartre’s existentialism is a humanism


15. do i have any other blogs: was planning on starting up a personal langblr to practise french, but well.... that kinda faded into nothingness, i guess


16. do i get asks: once in a blue moon. i tend to give more asks for other people. and chat with about 2-4 people on this site only. 


17. why i chose my url: it’s been what i’ve used ever since i decided to try to put up my poems since 2009 so i guess it kinda stuck. i kinda wanna change it now, but i dunno what exactly will i change it with. 


18. following: 938

19. followers: 259 (i kinda don’t like counting since it fuels my anxiety, but here you go) 

20. average hours of sleep: a solid 12 hours when i’m deprived. a solid 7 hours a day. 

22. lucky number: 6, 13, 9? idk why

23. instruments: i used to do piano, but i’m planning to study violin sometime soon 

24. what am i wearing: pjs


26. dream job: consul-general / human rights commissioner / writer


27. dream trip: i know little of the africas, but i would like to go to rwanda, botswana, and south africa. and then after that, abu dhabi, france, germany, uk, italy, japan, singapore, thailand -- ack you know what? i’ll travel the whole wide world


28. favourite food: P A S T A

29. nationality: i come from the country that innovated yoyo to become a weapon

30. favourite song right now: à la volonté du peuple

Tagging: @courageandbravery (our running gag will be tagging you here hehehehe), @bisexual-eponine (yo keiiii), @eponineinthebarricade (éponine!), @textsfromumbridge (hi! - from your most avid fan), @hihiyas (hi!!!!!!!!!!! your art and stories make me laugh always), @astoryinred (the most kickasssss enjonine authoress you will find, omg guys read her stuff seriously), @jediwhinetrick (ok guys her metas will give you life, no shit), @lesfillesenfleur (i know it’s so obvious in your url, but i call you little flower in my head, it’s such a pretty url tbh), @kylorenvevo (your stories have so much feels), @the-great-mr-bad-guy (yoooooo), @ranichi17 (sup?), @norationalthoughtrequired (your stories are amazing seriously), @aurimaedre (i love your vignettes), @genericpseudonyms (the way you make stories, guuuurl, its so damn fine), @loveholic198 (your enjonine edits give me lyf and hoope), @xreyoflight (your metas give me a lot to think about tbh), @barriss (your art, your edits, your stories, especially The Only One made me rekindle my e/e sparks), @eponniia (your stories are disparately amazing), @youareiron-andyouarestrong (i know you ship e/é, too, but i really hope to know you beyond that), and @kugirocks (i know you from so many fandoms, especially e/é, but i’d also like to know you more) - CHEERS YALL

[synonym-for-life]

Tagged by the wonderful @drarryking Thank you! This was fun!

Zodiac: Gemini 


Hogwarts House: Pottermore keeps putting me in Hufflepuff, but I just really don’t feel at home there. My mum and grandma would definitely be Hufflepuffs so this house is very very dear to me. Personally, I think I’m either Slytherin or Ravenclaw (probably like half/half)


Favourite color: It changes every few years. Currently, it’s pink and turquoise (it’s v. obvious if you visit my blog lmao, also irl most of my clothes are in these colours too)


Time now: 22:41


Last thing I googled: word for word: did jay z really cheat on beyonce I WAS LISTENING TO LEMONADE OK IT GOT ME CURIOUS WTF CAN I DO PLS DON’T JUDGE ME


Blankets I sleep with: usually 2, now that it’s summer 1, but I always get cold during the night and have to get another one lol


Favorite Bands: The Queen (don’t really follow bands though...) Oohhh, Disturbed too! (considering I really mostly listen to Despacito this is kind of weird, but...it’s still true?)


Favorite Solo Artist: Rag’n’Bone Man for sure! #obsessed


Dream trip: I just wanna go to fucking space tbh. Buuut...Anywhere would be great rn... Always really wanted to go to Africa (quite general I know, big continent and all) I’ve also been missing the UK a lot lately esp Scotland.


Currently wearing: workout leggings and a simple grey t-shirt. Socks. Panties. Bra which reminds me why do i still have this shit on --> takes it off


Age of blog: Oh my god, my blog is a BABY! I’ve been on Tumblr for some time, just not really for hp. I’ve been active for 2 MONTHS AND A HALF :o


Things I post: mainly DRARRY as well as other HP stuff (with just a dash of political issues - I try to keep them away from this blog unless I feel sth is important/relevant) 

If you wanna join the fun: @drarrymylove  @parkkate @hazyxthoughts @mydeardrarry @silveredglass @serpensthesia @o0o-chibaken-o0o @l0vegl0wsinthedark @bixgirl1 @thistle-verse ( I know we never interacted at all but I’m a sucker like a big ginormous one for your writing so I would love to know more about you if you feel like sharing :) )

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

Five Asks Meme

Got tagged by the light of my life @welllpthisishappening​ to do this meme and I did it mainly because it helped distract me from a rather dull conservation with my father who I’m pretty sure didn’t even realize I wasn’t even paying attention. Anyway, thanks love.

FIVE THINGS YOU’D FIND IN MY BAG

At least three different notebooks with vary degrees of bullshit in them. Like I have no concept of organization when it comes to my notebooks so some of these probably hold lists on fan fiction and original work, notes on political theory, law school shit and other ridiculous bullshit.

Portable chargers, I have at least two of them because my phone battery is shit and I’m constantly on it so it doesn’t help at all. So yeah, a constant array of portable chargers. I’m pretty the security at work would have a fit if they saw how much wires I have in my bag. I don’t go through security because I have a wonderful thing called employee clearance. Thank you Jesus.

A shit ton of pens. I have at least one ball point pen because I love them, but I also have really shitty drugstore pens that barely work. I need to get rid of them,

A pocket blanket. One of those impossible picnic blankets that can fit in your pocket if you fold it correctly. I generally use it when I’m in St. Jame’s Park and need to just relax and get away from everything.

Oddly enough, I have a voucher for small tattoo for fifty quid or a piercing for £25. I think I picked it up on weekend when I was in Camden and I strongly debated it.

FIVE THINGS IN MY BEDROOM

Multiple fan pillows from Telahmarie on Etsy. I have a Thor, Ninth Doctor and Nightwing one, but I’m about to get a Killian Jones, Darth Vader, Jaime Lannister and Gambit ones when I get back home because I sent them to my parents’ house since I really didn’t feel like paying a huge customs fee. Fuck you United Kingdom and your desire to bleed me of money.

Fairy lights. I’m one of those stereotypical white girl and I have fairy lights hanging above my bed. Plain white, in case you were asking.

I guarantee you that if I looked, I could find at least two portable chargers hiding within the pillows because I’m too lazy to actually plug my phone into the wall.

The most expensive super soft jersey sheets to ever grace the planet because I am super snob when it comes to my sheets, blankets and comforters. Everything needs to be soft. It drives Dan nuts.

Because I’m a fucking nerd, I have Funko Pops of Nine, Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler and the Tardis. My best friend just bought me a Killian one, so he will soon by joining them on my window sill. I also have Nine’s sonic screwer and a mini plastic Yankees cap.

FIVE THINGS I WANT TO DO IN LIFE

Oh man, I want to travel to every single continent. Including Antartica even though I would hate myself because I fucking hate the cold with an intense passion. So far, I’ve only been to North America, Europe and Africa,

Finish law school. That’s more short term, but alas. I want to survive and have a stable to career and to do that I need to start and finish law school.

Get back in high school shape. I used to be able to actually run and wear bathing suits, but I’ve become so fat. Ugh. I really need to work on that. I miss being somewhat thin.

Get back to living in Zone 1 or Zone 2 of London because Zone 3 sucks so bad and I really hate where I live right now. Poor Laura has listened to be bitch for the past week.

Actually publish the huge ass fantasy series that I started to write in college. Rhyanna and Caedon, my original characters, fucking deserve to have their stories finished and published for the amount of shit I put them through.

FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Going for walks around the Thames. It’s full of tourists during the day but quiet and soothing at night. I miss doing that. *sigh*

Facetiming Dan because he’s in Germany and I’m in the UK and I miss his face and he makes me smile and sometimes texting isn’t enough. And no matter what, he always takes my call even if I do call him at like 6 in the morning because I didn’t sleep the night before.

Medium hazelnut iced coffee with skim milk and caramel drizzle on the top. That’s my order whether it be Star Bucks, Costa, Dunkin Donuts or whatever.

The Yankees. I fucking love baseball so much that it sometimes hurts. God, I’m such a sports nerd. For real. Nothing makes me happier than watching the New York Yankees play.

When people leave me feedback for my work. Legit nothing makes me happier than reading shit in the tags. For real, your comments make my day.

FIVE THINGS I’M CURRENTLY INTO

Aaron Judge. I love him and he’s going to do great with the Yanks. I hope he stays with the Yanks his whole career as unlikely as that is. He’s just great. He’s 2-3 years older than me and I call him my son. I’m strange.

Halloumi pitas. I cannot get enough of it. It makes me sad that I no longer have a Real Greek restaurant near me. I love that shit. I know this really weird but it’s such a huge craving I’ve had lately.

Not sleeping. Granted I like almost never sleep on a regular basis but recently my schedule has been more fucked than normal. Like I’ve pulled more all nighters this year than I did in college.

American Gods. I’ve been watching it on a loop. It’s so fascinating and bizarre and every time I watch it again, I pick out new things that I’ve never noticed before.

Aesthetics. I’ve been making them like crazy. They’re kinda relaxing for me to make and of course I keep spamming people with them because I’m that kind of person.

FIVE THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST

Actually pack my suitcase for the States. Because I’m an asshole and I’ve packed yet.

Clean out my fridge because I’m gonna be gone awhile and I would rather not have rotting food when I come back.

Actually get some fucking writing done in regards to the two requests and two one-shot ideas I have rolling around in my head. And you know, actually start that Labyrinth fic that I’ve been meaning to work on for the last two months but haven’t.

Buy Laura spicy chai tea from the local shops so she can have epic tea when we finally meet *gasp*

Get more than two hours of sleep. Legit.

Tagging: @fictional-redheads, @alisuuuuuuu and @peglegsjones because why not. If you feel compelled to do, feel free to do it. It’s a lot of fucking words though.

[askthenewhopespeak]

Friends and allies

Jirami sees Kyoji walking in the cafeteria and approaches him after she finished eating. “Nakamura!” 

Kyoji: Ah, Jirami-San! Good morning. “Good morning. This might sound kinda rushed but, may I talk to you in private for a bit? I wanna ask you some things.” Her expression and tone were serious and she tried to get into her work suit. He turns back to look at Mikan, who’s still eating her pancakes. He gives her an apologetic look and an “I’ll be back a bit” sort of hand gesture, then turns back to face Jirami

Kyoji: Of course. What do you wish to know?

She showed him the same drawing she gave Makoto and Kyouko, explaining the connections the students and some teachers had with weird incidents at Hope’s Peak. “I know this is kinda like disrespecting your privacy but in my line of work we do anything to get to the truth, help others and solve problems.” She lets him analyze it before speaking again.

Kyoji: He smirks before handing it back to her. I do the same thing in my line of work. Believe me, I’m all to happy to get the truth out there and make sure people understand what happened. I was involved with a lot of things at this school. Where do you want to start? \

She smiled while folding her arms. “I want to fill that blank with a name I haven’t been able to find and it’s bugging me. I thought you’d know since well, you’re kinda involved in my investigation.”

Kyoji: He ponders it for a moment. I can think of a few possibilities, honestly, as for what binds them together. It may be the man I helped create or the man I’m trying to defeat. 

“I see. Okay if it’s not such a bother, do you mind writing those names down? Just… Being safe, y'know?” She offered him a pencil. 

*He takes it and writes down the names ‘Izuru Kamukura’ and 'Maverick Storm’*

She chuckles when she sees Izuru Kamukura. She did investigate about the project and Hajime Hinata… But never wondered why he wasn’t here.

I’m really losing some skills…

She sighed. “What can you tell me about this… 'Maverick Storm’?” 

Kyoji: Hoo-boy, where do I start? Well, first of all, he’s the Ultimate Manipulator. That should tell you something. He ranks high on the narcissism and antisocial ranks on the personality spectrum model, bending people to his will, showing no empathy or remorse for anything he’s done. I should know, since he was one of my classmates. He put several students in the hospital countless times, including my best friend, Miaya Gekkougahara. She was left with an incomplete spinal injury thanks to him and never regained the ability to walk. Even before Hope’s Peak, there’s some evidence that suggests he triggered a school shooting and motivated one of his adoptive parents into committing suicide. He’s intelligent, determined, cruel, ruthless, but he can’t fight for shit. And as far to anyone’s knowledge, he died in a plane crash. But the odds of that seem…unfavorable, if you ask me. 

Her eyes are wide open at his explanation and frowns afterwards. “This is really bad… Even though I did not have information about him, I had my suspicious that whoever was behind this was alive and weren’t just pawns following orders from a dead leader, like what happened with Junko and the remnants of despair.” 

Kyoji: He’s less of a pawn and more of a wannabe leader. He joined the despair movement not because he was forced or manipulated into it. He did so because it seemed interesting. 

She laughs. “He sounds like the opposite of Kamukura.” After that she clears her throat and goes back to her serious expression. “Nakamura, I’m afraid something big’s going to happen soon. If there are Storm pawns here at Hope’s Peak already, then all of us are in danger. But I’d like you to go easy on them, they’re human still and can change. I think I’m asking too much, I don’t think you’d understand my philosophy though…” She didn’t make eye contact and sadness could be heard in her voice. 

Kyoji: I agree completely. Maverick’s the problem here. We get him out of the way, we can rehabilitate them. And if I may ask, what is your personal philosophy? 

She smiles. “I never thought someone would ask me, to be honest… I believe in most virtue ethics and Kant’s categorical imperative, basically."  

Kyoji: I see. Interesting branch of philosophy to follow. Kant did present some nice ideas. The idea of ethics and morality as reasonable absolutes, like mathematical formulas. Even if he was a pretty wordy guy. 

She chuckles. "I prefer not to deepen into the maths area that much though, I’m a humanist. So will you help my carry on this risky mission, Kyoji Nakamura?” She puts her hand in front of him, waiting for a handshake Kyoji:

shakes her hand

Absolutely, Jirami Senkou “…Thanks.” She wondered if it was fair to tell him her real name, but he would’ve recognized an UN and EU diplomat…

Oh well, he’d find out somehow anyway.

Kyoji: And…if it’s not too much trouble, can I share something with you? 

She tilted her head a bit as a sign of confusion. “Um, sure. What is it?” 

Kyoji: You say you want people to know the truth, right? Because there is a certain truth that precious few people know or fully understand. One that’s followed me my whole life and I want more people to understand. 

“…Yeah.” She folded her arms with a worried expression. “The way the truth is taught to us though… May differ, we come from different cultures.” 

Kyoji: Even so, I’m sure you’ve studied history. You know about Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, right? 

“Of course.” 

Kyoji: Everybody knows about them, but do you know what kind of societies they were? What sort of ideologies they embraced? The kind of ideologies that lead to the torture, murder, and genocide of millions of people. Eugenics, social darwinism, racial hierarchy, those sorts of views. It’s impossible to tease those apart from them. But they were not the ones who invented them. 

“We have to know history for we cannot afford to repeat those events… Is that what you’re trying to say?” 

Kyoji: Yes, of course. But the thing is that not many know why it really happened. World War II is often painted as the story of democratic allied good vs. fascistic axis evil. You wanna know the real truth? “

It can’t hurt to know.” She nodded. 

Kyoji: First of all, the concept of eugenics was the result of a man named Josef Galton, half-cousin of Charles Darwin. He heard about Darwin’s On the Origin of Species and choose to imbue its qualities onto the human species. His idea was that, by encouraging stronger and smarter people to breed, we could create a master race of geniuses. This view was embraced by the whole world. America, the UK, France, Japan, Korea, China, Brazil, Canada, Germany, Australia, pretty much everyone. The idea that the human gene pool could be “improved” by removing certain traits, namely by discouraging breeding in some. And by “discourage,” I mean “sterilize against their will.” In the United States alone, between 1910 and 1932, more than 64,000 people were sterilized for things like a low IQ, mental or physical illness, a mixed racial background, or even traits like alcoholism and criminality. This was before DNA was discovered and it was assumed that these traits could be passed on to children. These ideals were embraced to their full extent by the Axis powers, who followed a new form of political thought that encouraged the spread and domination of their singular groups. For Germany, it was the Aryan Race. For Japan, it was the Japanese Empire. Their views of being a master race were nothing new, but instead an extremist stance on already existing ideological values. They viewed their people as the best and that they needed more land in order to survive. This is why Hitler chose to invade eastern Europe and why Japan invaded Asia. It wasn’t for political gain. It was to acquire more land for more food production and to encourage reproduction of their people. A view of us against all. Eugenics, as a whole, is a pseudoscience and was discredited after the defeat of the Axis powers, thankfully enough. It does nothing but leave some people unable to breed. It certainly doesn’t improve the gene pool to just have smart people or strong people survive and reproduce. Galton failed to recognize that Darwin referred to survival of the fittest as being about adaptation, not strength nor intelligence. If you can adapt, you can survive. That’s what it means. You see the dangers of viewing the other as lesser everywhere in history. The idea that blacks were inherently inferior to whites is what lead to the enslavement of Africans. But people of all colors and ethnicities have been slaves in one way or another. You know why Europe was so advanced and places like Africa and the Americas so underdeveloped by comparison? Environment. There were no good animals for domestication in the Americas, no easy methods of transportation for the exchange of goods in most of Africa, and precious few crops that would grow to the extent that was needed for large civilizations. They were few and far between in some places, but that’s because they lucky. They found the necessary resources. It wasn’t a matter of White or European supremacy. Places like Europe and the fertile crescent were just places where civilization could easily take root. And people have been trying for centuries to determine the differences between people from around the world. Trying to take this knowledge and attempt to justify it with pseudoscientific racism. Skull measurements, brain measurements, skin color, ancestry, everything you can imagine. The irony is, had colonialism never taken off and humans remain on different continents, the idea of humans being split into multiple species would’ve become a fact due to geographic isolation. You keep two members of the same species apart, they will change over time. You understand what I’m saying? 

“I feel like I should be honoured by this knowledge. I understand, even though you’re not going to be our History professor you’d be great there.” 

Kyoji: The history of genetics research and medicine holds both fascinating and terrifying facts. And it’s these sorts of ideological views that lead to Hope’s Peak’s founding in 1937 

She nods and sighs. “It’s kinda frustrating what we humans must do and what we have to experience to really learn the lesson…" She folds her arms. "Nakamura, how do you think this is going to end? I mean, we already went through the Tragedy Junko created… 

Kyoji: With everything that’s happened, I don’t think people are willing to embrace a second tragedy. They will fight back with everything they have. But as for us, I don’t know how this will end. But I do know that I will see this through to the bitter end. I will not surrender the lives of my friends so easily. 

She smiled. "Oh excellent, you seem like you won’t fall to despair that easily either.” 

Kyoji: Some people can fall into despair, but I simply choose not to. Even with everything I know that’s happened, including the Tragedy and all the historical facts I’ve told you, I still believe in hope. I choose to embrace hope, kindness, and freedom. Despair is just another disease to cure, and it’s on its last legs. As an Existentialist, it’s my duty to adhere to my choices authentically. 

“It’s nice to hear that… It’s nice to hear I can trust you as an ally now, I guess.” 

Kyoji: Same here. Though we have a lot of work we’ll need to do if we want to beat Maverick. Fortunately, I know almost everything that happens in this school. And I have a tendency to plan for anything. 

 “Alright then! Now I won’t be so lost about what’s going on. Oh and… Thanks, for everything.” She bows after saying. 

 Kyoji: No problem. And Jirami-San? 

“Mm? Yes?”

 Kyoji: Be careful, okay? Try not to do anything too reckless.

He sounded just like him… She sighed. “I… I’ll try.” She turned her back to him just so he couldn’t see she was about to cry. 

 Kyoji: And please remember that you don’t have to face this alone. Remember that me and a lot of people have got your back from now on. Allies look out for each other in these kinds of situations. 

 “…Okay.” She stood silent for a while before replying. “Sorry, I just have stayed away from people for so long because I don’t want my emotions to get in the way… One can’t be unbiased if relies only on them and as a diplomat, I cannot have that luxury. 

Kyoji: I can understand that. As a doctor, I try to stay impartial as well. But still, in the battle against despair, we need to stick together. Strength in numbers. 

“I understand, it’s true. It’s just that I didn’t ask to stand alone and now I can’t see myself succeeding if there’s someone else by my side helping on this mission.” She wiped her tears with her sleeves, still not turning around to see Kyoji in the eye. 

Kyoji: Well, we’ll never know until we try. And in my experience, it’s good to have people who you know you can rely on. 

“…Even though there’s the probability they’re going to die in front of you and you can’t do anything to save them?” She turned around just to stare at him.

Kyoji: It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’ve lost a lot of good friends already, but let it be known that I will do everything in my power to protect the ones I still have. I’m a doctor, after all. It’s my job to help people. 

“You say that cuz you’re prepared for the aftermath, you prepared for that, you know what you have to do.” Her tone changed to an American one, she would snap if she couldn’t shake off her memories. “I’m a diplomat and even I couldn’t prevent ourTragedy.” 

Kyoji: Neither could I. And neither could a lot of people. There are too many factors that go into this for you to blame yourself. Besides, dwelling on the past doesn’t solve anything. You learn from your mistakes, then you do everything you can to ensure you don’t repeat them. And I think we’ve learned quite a bit from that experience. I have faith in you, Jirami-San. 

 She sighs and looks away. “Thanks, Nakamura…”

 Kyoji: No problem. looks up at a clock on the wall We should probably head back now. I can tell we’ve probably got a long day ahead of us. 

“Yeah.” There’s a little bit of silence until she speaks again. “Hey, Nakamura? When both you and Miraz were attacked by Shirokuma, Mikan wasn’t feeling well and I wondered how’s she’s doing… If you don’t mind telling me, patient privacy I guess?” 

 Kyoji: She’s…doing alright. It’s probably just all the stress from the incident causing physical effects on her body. Nothing too serious. 

“…Good to know!” She smiles at the news. “So, what are we gonna do next? We keep checking stuff about Storm and we share our discoveries to each other?” 

 Kyoji: Sounds good. Although Hijirihara said he needed to talk to me about something after breakfast. Something very serious. 

“Well, you better not make him wait then. Unless you wanna share that info with me. Kyoji: True. In that case, I guess I’ll talk to you later. 

 "Until then, Nakamura!” She bows. “And again, thanks.” She walks away.

[random-thoughts-bin-exe]

Thoughts on Media right now

(02.06.2020)

1. Idk why but I'm suspicious of anonymous...

I mean if they were really supporting the black lives matter protest, why would they also post Trump exposé court documents of him being a pedophile. Like.. why draw attention away from the issue? Why don't they hack media outlets to actually show the injustices carried out by the police?

2. Black twitter is a better way to stay informed than popular media and it shows

Popular news outlets like cnn are showing biased news coverage. No one is reporting police officers actually being the ones turning the protests violent.

3. Non-black Latinx community is making this about themselves smh

There are a lot of non black latinx speaking up on racism and their experiences. While that's good and something that needs to be addressed, especially racism within latinx culture ... i do think this is kinda taking attention away from the blm movement right now. They're making it seem like its about them.

4. I already KNOW the government is going to weaponize white guilt to disrupt the protest information and communication online

It's my theory behind the blackout tuesday posts. While yeah i guess you do that to amplify the voices of black people, i do think tagging it with the BLM hashtag was a way to silence information and communication from protests. Like white guilt is at an all time high. You could tell white people to post ice bucket challenges for black lives matter and they'll not even question it. It's so obvious to see that white guilt, expressed through performative activism (posting stuff online) is something so manipulatable.

5. If anyone Epstein's black book posted by anonymous will be cancelled i already know it's going to be Naomi Campbell

Like who are we kidding no one is going to cancel trump or anyone of his rich powerful friends, cancel culture doesn't work and especially not with white men unfortunately. Like idk how the p**phile tekashi69 is still famous... "Cancel culture" will usually affect women. Naomi and the royals been real quiet tho lately.

6. White people are surprised by colonialism?

Colonialism doesn't have "Erinnerungskultur" surrounding it, because it was never truly addressed and condemned idk. Like the holocaust is surrounded by erinnerungskultur in Germany because the uk and the us had to de-nazify the citizens through education and teaching guilt. But colonialism on the other hand was never truly addressed by european countries (including germany ofc), so no one really sat white people down and made them learn about the horrors they are responsible for.

Like look at the way it is taught in history classes. They say things like "scramble for africa" as if an entire continent with many different people from different cultures and religions is a commodity free for them to take and exploit.

Same goes for north and south america. Like no you didn't "stay because the nature and the women were so beautiful and exotic", ppl went there to benefit from the power dynamic in order exploit people and ressources.

White people's wealth and standard of living is built on the exploitation of africa, america, oceania, asia, greenland, etc. Why are you so surprised that the continued abuse/discrimination is still happening? (Especially if it's continuously being romanticized in your culture and traditions) Why are you surprised about generational trauma? Why don't you believe people of color and especially black people when they say they face more difficulties due to racism, when the system they live in, based on oppression, denies them the same opportunities and ressources?

Like I'm tired of the local "wokey-dokey" liberal white boi who is the definition of white (rich) privilege posting political cartoons about the looting of africa. Check your goddamn self ?!?!! Cool if you've already recognized that, but evaluate the shit that comes out of your mouth and how you treat poc.

[quarantinecountry]

Notes from a quarantine country // n. 4

A couple of days’ ago, the Sicilian regional government announced that they will be sending the army in to police the crisis. It was also announced that jogging is being banned, even alone and at a safe distance. Only a few voices are bubbling up from our quarantined underground about this authoritarian turn, this “self-coup” as an older comrade puts it. I have often wondered about the difference between oppression and repression but now it seems all too clear: oppression is when the army beats back the crowds, repression is when you stand on the balcony wondering if you’ll see the tanks rolling in. The disbanding of all assembly would make – or is making – the development of any authoritarianism much smoother, and a collective webchat hardly substitutes for this.

This exterior repression is accompanied by an inner one: it’s as if we’re catching up (or down) with the new generation of tablet-addicted babies, whose self-development happens through selfies. Despite the silence outside, my head is ringing with news reports and the jangle of commentary; I find slow-reading difficult under these conditions and, likewise, writing. I usually take a walk to straighten out my thoughts, so I now find getting words down much harder. I took a quick trip to the butcher, but the atmosphere on the street was deader than the meat. I felt naked without a face-mask.

It’s raining outside – there has been very little rainfall this year – and the church on the other side of the small park is blaring out an evening mass into the mist.

Time folds in on itself. Last time I spoke about the 24/7-ness, but there are a couple of other things about time I want to describe. First, there’s a very personal, intimate folding in: the mind turns back to old friends, memories that reform and remould, recollections of other crises; the harsh re-organization of all social life clearly forces a reflection back on all relations, on your social nature, dragging with it an accumulation of intimate particular narratives while also thrusting them into the present and flattening them out. I’ve become a general, marshaling the troops of my sociality.

On the other hand, there’s the time of contagion, watching other countries catch up with Italy. The countries ‘behind’ us – China and Iran – don’t give out information I feel I can trust. I don’t really know what’s going on there in the same way as I do about the countries ‘ahead’. It’s like looking into a crystal ball I don’t believe in, seeing the future while also saying ‘nothing is this predictable.’ The digital scry. This is compounded by the huge gap that has arisen between my friends in Italy and the UK: people with similar political orientations are begging their governments to act while here in Sicily the state response is sending shivers down us.

This gap is a time-gap. Countries go through their phases: the hand-washing phase, the anal hygiene phase (toilet roll, dog pooping), oral fixation (face masks), crowdfunders, the last piss-up, mass return to family homes, latency. I’m increasingly convinced that there is no vast difference between the approaches of different governments. The idea of ideologies and strategies gives too much credit to how much control a capitalist government has in a situation like this. There’s a certain (though incomplete) inevitability to how things pan out due to the prior balance of forces. My Anglophone friends seem to be very up-to-date on pictures of coffins and exhausted doctors in Northern Italy, along with an imprecise understanding of our lockdown. What the Anglophone world seems unaware of it that huge numbers of people – particularly in the North of Italy, where mass contagion has spread with horrific results – are still going to work. The map of contagion very neatly fits onto the map of factories and logistics centres. Distribution and production still continues, and there really can be very little doubt that this is one of the causes of the virus’s slaughter.

This asks a very big question about the organization of work within a capitalist economy, one which we are all understandably trying to avoid, consciously or otherwise. On the one hand, you can defend certain paid jobs as being useful to society, whether as part of the ‘real economy’ or ‘key workers’, and various shades between. But this leaves out a large sum of production and distribution of arguably un-necessary or luxury goods nevertheless necessary for the functioning of any capitalist economy. The Italian state has a necessity to continue creating value in order to have any basis to its economy. Capitalists do not want to watch all their profits burn away and the state is not prepared to oppose these capitalists in order to stop the contagion; at least, they are not prepared to do so yet. Unfortunately, until the state stops being capitalist, the capitalists will send people to work, and the contagion will continue to spread. The horrible truth of this is that in order for distribution to continue – i.e. for us down in Sicily still to have our supermarket shelves restocked – we need people to be mortally exploited in general, and to die in Lombardy specifically. Of course this always was the case, as anyone producing designer trainers in South-East Asia or cocoa beans in West Africa can tell you and indeed has been telling us for some time now.

A final note on helicopter money. The economic demands being raised in one country are being met in another, and I keep thinking: “careful what you wish for, things might get so shit that your enemies grant you it.” The very premises of a demand for a ‘universal basic income’ are by now out-moded; the proposal was based on the (already shakey) assumption of continued automation and increasing productivity. The point at which governments are prepared to pay a general, emergency wage to laid-off workers or put a moratorium on mortgages or rents is the point at which these premises have fallen away. States are making these proposals because in some way they feel they have no choice, and unfortunately not because labour suddenly won out over capital, but because all liquidity is about to dry up.

Perhaps it’s clearer now why sending troops because of an occasional jogger is causing me to lose some sleep.

[onestowatch]

Q&A: Jacob Banks Talks Sonic Balance, Kanye West, and Signature Beanie

A innovative, fresh sound laced with classic influences. A powerfully dominant voice singing of emotionally delicate, sociopolitical themes. African-inspired soul grooves backed by heavy beats. One might assume that, if combined, the aforementioned elements would clash severely...but not if you’re Jacob Banks. 

Banks’ distinct sound was born from a natural manifestation of his personal music taste and his contrasting environments. While he draws inspiration from the classic soul of Al Green, he also enjoys the pop/folk sensibilities of John Mayer and respects the boldness of Kanye West and Rick Ross--all of which cohesively make their way into his own music. Moreover, Banks was was born in Nigeria and currently resides in London, UK, which explains the sometimes paradoxical sonic and lyrical content-- “Some of [the songs] are strong and powerful—the melancholy of London. And some—like, the songs about my mum and stuff—will come from the Africa side, being very family oriented.”

As a follow up to his Boy Who Cried Freedom EP, released in April 2017, Jacob Banks’ latest is a heart-wrenching ballad by the name of “Unknown (To You).” He’s currently gearing up for a handful of European tour dates, followed by a North American tour through early December--don’t miss out.

After following Jacob Banks for the better part of the last two years, we finally got to sit with the prolific artist to talk beginnings, YouTube resourcefulness, Kanye West, artists to watch, and the real secret under that beanie.

OTW: You originally graduated as a civil engineer, right?

JB: Yeah.

OTW: So, how did you first get into music?

JB: I got into music by chance. Like, I learned to play a guitar off YouTube, and I used to write poetry a lot growing up. So I just started singing along when I learned guitar, and I'd write little songs and stuff just for fun. And my friends would ask me to record these songs so they could play them in their cars, and I would. And that's how it happened—just me making songs that my friends liked. And they were like, “Oh, you should do an EP,” so I did an EP. Then it was, “Maybe you should play this show,” cool, I’ll play this show… and it just all spiraled out of control really quickly. That's how it happened.

OTW: How did you land on your specific style of music?

JB: I think it came very natural to me. I think we're all racing against our taste. So, if you are someone who creates, or if you make anything, you judge how good of a band you think it is by your taste level. So we're all trying to replicate our taste. 

Like, I love Kanye West, but I also love John Mayer. I love Al Green but I also love Rick Ross. So these are my tastes. So how can I bring all these things I love together? I love the old and the new. So how can I present it to people? I'm just trying to create what I like, and that was it: just taking the old vibe but giving it a modern twist, is kind of what we're trying to do. And that's how it came about.

OTW: Cool! So you were born in Nigeria and now you live in London--how would you say both of those places affect you as an artist and as a person?

JB: Growing up in Nigeria allowed me to sympathize with a lot of things that happen in the world, that touch a lot of people. And growing up in London--for me, London's like the capitol of the world. Like, it's genuinely mad because of the amount of people, and it’s unified, and everyone understands the role that everybody else plays. And I think having both is really interesting to how I make my music, because I speak for the oppressed, and London is very... London never backs down. Like, Brits just never back off in general. So that’s the energy that I get from London--we always say how we feel. I think Africans are a bit more delicate. They're very warm people, wouldn't want to piss anybody off, so I learned to shift between the two. 

Certain songs are more delicate, some of them strong and powerful—the melancholy of London. And some—like, the songs about my mum and stuff—will come from the Africa side, being very family oriented.

OTW: Cool, great balance. So you were the first unsigned act to appear on BBC Radio 1. What was that like, and how has the shift been like from that to now?

JB: That was fun. I don't feel any different, to be fair. I'm making music I want to make. I feel exactly the same towards my team now; I just feel like I have more help, like more people to balance off creativity. There’s no doing away your independence--it’s you trying to make sense of it all. So it's nice to have another brain to check yourself, to have your back. It's pretty much the same, just a bigger team.

OTW: Do you feel like that was your big break?

JB: The Live Lounge? There was no turning back after that. It’s cool to make songs in your friend's bedroom or whatever, but if you're presenting yourself on Radio 1, you're saying, “I'm here and this is me.” You can't pack it in now, you can't turn around. I guess you can, but it was me announcing myself that I want to play.

OTW: Did you want to turn around before that? Have you ever considered going back to civil engineering?

JB: I would make a terrible civil engineer. People will die! Lots of people. This is for the best! I'm good at applying myself; I can be good at anything I want to be good at—doesn't mean that I like it. So I can just apply myself, which is how I got through it. I don't think I've ever looked back, it makes me too happy to look back. See like, as someone who works in journalism or stuff: When you read pieces, half your brain is criticizing, and half your brain is ingesting. So sometimes I wish I wasn't so much of an artist, because sometimes you don't listen to enjoy, you listen to pick up faults, which isn't nice. That's what I'm saying; that's the only thing I wish I could take back.

OTW: Do you have an idea of an end goal or a definition of success for yourself? 

JB: For me, it's just to look after my loved ones.

OTW: So, according to some Twitter stalking, you are a Game of Thrones fan. Would you kill for a cameo?

JB: No, I wouldn't! After what happened with Ed Sheeran, I think I don't want one. You know what it is? It was just unnecessary. He didn't do bad or anything, but it’s not some Netflix original trying to make headway; it was unnecessary. If it was like, a new show trying to get fans and all that...I get it, but he wasn't bad at all, he was quite good. He sang, it was wonderful. But it just didn't need to happen. Even the whole scene didn't need to happen.

OTW: The Boy Who Cried Freedom is your latest, where did the name come from?

JB: I think it just came from just what we're seeing in politics and everything. I think people were asking for the most basic shit. Like, take “Black Lives Matter” for example. It's a fair thing to ask for. Or women saying, “We want equal rights, we're not asking for more, we just want the same thing you're having.” Sounds fair! Or people are asking for refuge because their homes have been torn down by war that we've instigated—also fair! 

So it's like, freedom is the most basic shit, like everybody should get this. And that's where it came from. And for me as well, I feel like I was always trying to justify my taste and what I wanted to make. And I was like, I should be able to make what I want to make, and people are going to have to tell me their fears as much as I don't come into your workplace and incite fear into what you make. 

For me it's just like, freedom is just a basic requirement. I think that's where it came from.

OTW: Do you get criticism for your style of music?

JB: No, what it is, is everybody's scared until it happens. Once it happens, it becomes the norm. But everybody's the first of their kind: Rihanna's the first Rihanna. I mean, you hear everyone is trying to be like Rihanna, everybody's trying to copy an original. But for me the original is cooler because it's like, you don't know. And people naturally are going to put forwards their fears, and that's cool; it's human nature to do that. Like, I don't have to because I was in a situation before with old management and an old label and they were very unsure; they didn't want to stick their neck out. So I think that's where that came from.

OTW: Got it. So you learned how to play guitar and a lot of other things on YouTube. Anything else that you've learned off of YouTube?

JB: I learned to fix my car! I can fix pretty much anything. If anything is broken in your house, look on YouTube, somebody's fixed it. Like, YouTube is the shit. People need to understand this. I can fix anything off YouTube.

OTW: Do you still write or read poetry?

JB: I still read. I read a lot. I think poetry is the purest form of writing, for me. It's very honest.

OTW: You said you're a Kanye fan--what about his music or him as a person draws you to him?

JB: I just feel like he's always pushing the needle. The thing with music is everybody knows what they think they know. So if you grew up and someone tells you an apple is an orange, you're going the rest of your life thinking it was. So he's always pushing the needle introducing new sounds, new elements, new ways for people to decide like, “Actually I fuck with this,” or “Actually I don't fuck with this,” but he's always pushing the needle of the scale of what we think we like, and I love that about him.

OTW: Yeah. Do you respect him as a person too?

JB: As a person, I do. I feel like he's easy to understand. He's not perfect, but if you imagine all your wonderful moments and all your poor moments being publicized every day, you'd make just as many mistakes as he does. The difference is the whole world has to hear his mistakes. That's the only difference! I get him, like you have to imagine if people are constantly telling you you can't do something. For every time you've proven them wrong, it's a weird thing. Like, people told him he couldn’t make beats: he made beats. They said he couldn't rap: he rapped. They said he couldn't make clothes: he made clothes. They said he couldn't design his own visuals and stuff… It's like, what more do you want the man to do? Every time you've said no, he goes out and does it, and still people are like, “Just rap.” To have the whole world tell you no every time... it must fuck with you to a certain level.

OTW: So you've had a handful of EPs so far--are there any plans for a full length? 

JB: I'm doing a full length, but I'm doing my full length as EPs. So I'm going to do my full length as 3 EPs over a short period of time. I just feel like I don't want to play the album game. It's unfair because we're all getting the same looks. The industry judges people on albums, but the difference is, I'm not getting as much radio play as Shawn Mendes. So for you to expect me to sell as much as Shawn Mendes is unfair! If you give everybody 10 plays a day, and you want to judge our success on album sells, then I’ll play! But if I'm getting 1 and he's getting 1000, I don't want to fucking play. I'd rather just do it my own way, and so that's what it is for me. Because everybody falls short of it. 

If you're slightly left of stage, you fall short because you're not getting as much support. You're not going to do the numbers of these people. And then people get disappointed because they think someone who became more successful is worse, but it’s just like… I didn't get the same looks. I didn't reach as many people for them to even know that I exist or make up their own minds. So I'm just like, I don't want to play, unless I can guarantee the same looks.

OTW: Makes sense. Your answers and way of thinking are very well thought-out and tactical! So you wrote and co-directed your narrative for “Unholy War,” the video. What got you interested in that, and are you going to keep experimenting on the visual side?

JB: I think I got into it because everybody I used to work with used to take forever, and I'd rather just do it myself. People take forever to do stuff. And I have really good friends who are directors, so it was just like, I just hung around watched how they did it. And we collaborated on a lot of stuff, and same with “Unholy War”—Cody's my boy, and we've been talking for like, four years and always wanted to work. 

I just love being hands on. I feel like the only person who's Jacob 24/7 is me. Everybody else has to check out. At some point you have to look after your family, deal with your shit, nobody can physically care as much as I can. Because they don't, it's impossible. I can't hold it against them. So I’ll just get the ball rolling then people will join.

OTW: Who are a few artists on your Ones To Watch list?

JB: There's a couple people from the UK— there's a lady called Elli Ingram, there's Kojey Radical. There's an afrobeat artist called Maleek Berry. It'll change your life--he infuses afrobeat music with R&B in the most smooth, coolest way ever. There’s also a lady called Amber Mark. She's on the label, and Billie Eilish, and a guy called Billy Raffoul.

OTW: I just saw Billy, he's insane live.

JB: We've been touring together, he's opening the tour! In the fall.

OTW: Last but not least, any reason for the signature folded beanie?

JB: I don't know how it all spiraled out of control!

OTW: How many do you have?

JB: I have a few. Like, at least 20. At least. I don't know, I just always like them. The thing is, people think there' something wrong with me. Hairline's healthy, like I'm good! Everyone thinks like, he's probably bald, he probably doesn't have eyebrows, I don't know. Like, I'm fine. I only wear it when I go to work.

[wbwest]

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West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 2/17/17

On the movie front I finally got around to watching Central Intelligence. I’ve been wanting to see it since it was in theaters, as I love Kevin Hart movies, but I didn’t get to see it until it hit HBO. And I’m glad I waited. In the film, Hart plays a middle-aged accountant whose best days were in high school, when he was the most popular kid in school. Meanwhile, The Rock was the fat kid that all the other kids made fun of. Hart’s life is thrown into high gear when The Rock comes back into his life and turns out to work for the CIA. Hart gets wrapped up in murder, intrigue, and secret files. Yeah…On paper, this probably sounded like a great idea. The trailers looked hilarious. Surprisingly co-written by actor Ike Barinholtz (MadTV, The Mindy Project), it’s got a great cast, but they’re not necessarily bringing their A game. It was kinda weird to see Hart essentially playing the straight man, while The Rock had this weird goofiness to him. I know he’s trying to make the audience wonder if he can be trusted or not, but I don’t feel he sells it well. I almost bought this on Black Friday, and I’m glad I put it back on the shelf, as I don’t need to see it again.

In movie news, it’s rumored that Mel Gibson is being courted to direct Suicide Squad 2. Now, this is pretty interesting. I mean, who better to direct a movie about deranged criminals than a deranged actor/director? Seriously, that dude couldn’t be poked with an 8 foot pole a year ago, but since Hacksaw Ridge, it’s like all has been forgiven. I mean, he told his girlfriend he hoped she was “raped by a pack of niggers”! And let’s not forget all the antisemitic stuff. Anyway, I guess everyone deserves a second chance or whatever, but I don’t even see why he’d take the job. Even with all the controversy, a comic book film seems…beneath him, even if it would be great PR to restore his image in the public eye.

In other controversial movie news, A Cure For Wellness took a page out of the “fake news” playbook for its marketing campaign. 20th Century Fox partnered with fake news sites to run false stories alongside ads for the movie. Considering how the concept of fake news is upsetting a lot of people on both sides of the political aisle lately, this was considered to be in poor taste. A Fox spokesperson tried to explain that the film is about a fake cure that actually makes people sicker, so they thought the campaign was fitting. Fox has since apologized for the move, but I’ll bet it’s not the last time someone does this.

In TV news, ABC announced that the next season of The Bachelorette would star Rachel Lindsay as the first Black Bachelorette. This is important for a few reasons. First off, ABC is essentially torpedoing the notion that the current season of The Bachelor even matters anymore. After all, Lindsay is still in the running as one of the remaining finalists of the current cycle of the show. By doing this, ABC is spoiling the fact that she doesn’t win, before the finale has even aired. I’ve never watched the show prior to this season (What? It’s on at the gym!), but I’ve read that this is a particularly disappointing season. The current Bachelor, Nick Viall, is pretty boring, and is also on his fourth go-round with the franchise, having previously been a contestant on seasons 10 and 11 of The Bachelorette, as well as season 3 of Bachelor In Paradise. I mean, if he hasn’t found love by now, then he’d might as well just pack it in! The odd part to me, though, is the choice of Lindsay. I mean, I’ve been watching TV for a LONG time, and it used to be that the most outlandish cast member is the one who gets the spin-off. This season, that honor goes to Corinne, a 24 year old businesswoman who has a nanny for HERSELF, and has repeatedly tried to fuck Nick into choosing her, only to be rebuffed every time. She’s always shocked that someone could reject someone as hot as she is, but that shock never stops her from trying again. If you want good television, you make Corinne the next Bachelorette. Plus, Lindsay isn’t even that interesting. In all the episodes I’ve seen, I can’t really understand why she’s still around unless the plan was always for her to be the next Bachelorette. I mean, after 33 cycles of all three shows combined, it’s time for some diversity, and it’ll definitely make things interesting – ESPECIALLY when they do the home visits. But right now, I’m just not seeing any reason for the choice of Lindsay other than the fact that she’s Black. And she’s not even the best Black chick they had this season. Nah, they sent those chicks home already.

There was an interesting interview over on TV Line with Arrow‘s co-showrunner Marc Guggenheim, where he basically revealed that those previously-announced DCTV contracts don’t really mean that much. If you remember, over the summer it was announced that Wentworth Miller, John Barrowman, and Katie Cassidy had signed DCTV exclusive deals, which would allow them to pop up in any of the Berlantiverse shows. While the details of the deal were unknown, it certainly seemed like they’d be doing more with them than they are. Sure, Miller has popped up as a hallucination on Legends, and Barrowman’s also on Legends, but Cassidy hasn’t really been used outside of Arrow this season (that I know of. I’m still behind on The Flash). When asked if Cassidy would be popping up before Arrow‘s season is over, Guggenheim replied:

“We have an idea for how to see [Katie] again, but we haven’t made a deal with her,” Guggenheim shared. “She’s not a series regular anymore, so we have to make a contract with her, and she’s got to be available. We haven’t had those conversations. But… we know exactly what we do want to do.

They have to make a contract with her? Then what was the point of last summer’s announcement? I realize it’s pilot season, so she’s got to look out for herself since she’s no longer a series regular, but the contract seemed to ensure she’d have work, and be available for it should it arise. It’s starting to be clear that these “exclusive” contracts are just as useless as comic exclusive contracts, which basically just mean you can’t work for Marvel if you’re working for DC and vice versa. You can still work for Image and nobody bats an eye.

In a surprising announcement, we’re getting a Love Actually sequel, but it’s not what you think it is. See, in the UK, they have this charity event called Red Nose Day, where they air a TV special to raise money for Comic Relief, which helps people in need in Africa and The UK. In its 30 year history, the event has raise over £1 billion. In the UK, Red Nose Day culminates in a telethon where all sorts of specials and reunions occur. The idea was brought to the US back in 2015, with Walgreens selling the red noses for charity. Well, this year, a bunch of members of the original cast of the film are getting back together for a 10-minute special that will show us where they all are today. Right now, the special is expected to include Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, Martine McCutcheon (YAY!), Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Rowan Atkinson (really? He wasn’t even that important), Andrew Lincoln, Lucia Moniz, Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Olivia Olson. It’ll be really interesting to see where these characters are, 14 years later. It’s a shame we’re only getting ten minutes, but I’ll take what I can get. The special will air March 24th in the UK and May 25th in America. Yup, two months later. So, look for it on YouTube March 25th.

Rejoice, fellow titty enthusiasts! After a year of trying to “go legit”, Playboy has announced that nudity is returning to its pages as of its next issue. The decision to remove nudity didn’t really help sales much, which was somewhat surprising to me. See, I figured the lack of nudity would mean you’d see it in grocery stores and pharmacies, right next to Maxim and GQ. But that never happened. I guess it’s because the Playboy brand is known for nudity, even when the magazine itself decides to eschew it. But you bushwackers are gonna be disappointed, as the returning nudity will only feature breasts and butts for the time being.

This week, I had the pleasure of joining my pal, Classick, on the newest episode of Classick Team-Up. We discussed 24 Legacy, Turkish Airlines, and Trump’s America. Trust me, it all makes sense. Anyway, if you’re looking for some podcastin’ fo’ yo’ ears, check check check it out!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Adele “robbed” Beyoncé of the Album of the Year Grammy at this year’s awards ceremony. Whatever…

Country newcomer Maren Morris pulled off a major upset by winning Best Country Solo Performance Grammy over established award darlings Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, and Miranda Lambert

With recent successful revivals of old shows, Fox is finally keen to revive sci fi cult fave Firefly – the only catch is that show creator Joss Whedon has to come back, and they figure he’s too busy right now. I hope he doesn’t call their bluff. That show bored the shit out of me.

Speaking of Fox, they blew my mind by renewing Lucifer this week for a 3rd season. I didn’t think it would make it through season 1!

ABC renewed their TGIT lineup comprised of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder for next season.

NBC renewed the wonderful Superstore for a 3rd season.

Cloverfield director Matt Reeves is in talks to replace Ben Affleck as director of The Batman. Meanwhile, the rumor is that Affleck is trying to walk away from the film completely.

Poor Alanis Morissette! I recently wrote about how her former manager stole around $5 million from her, and this week over $2 million in jewelry was stolen from her home.

In the Remakes Nobody Wanted department, Frank Grillo will star in an American version of modern-day action classic The Raid

In what I’ve heard was a dreadfully unfunny stand up special, Nick Cannon said that NBC was keeping him from being himself as host of America’s Got Talent. As a result, he’s said he’s leaving the show.

Man, before Sunday night we had no idea who or what “Gnarley Davidson” was. Now, I can’t understand how we ever lived without him. At the Grammys, Cee Lo Green debuted his new solid gold persona, bewildering millions. And the meme machine got crankin’. He was photoshopped into pictures of Donald Trump’s house.

He was photoshopped into pictures of the Power Rangers.

The best part, however, wasn’t even a meme, but actual video of his departure from the awards. After all, he didn’t win anything, so why stick around?

That, folks, is how a true West Week Ever recipient leaves an awards ceremony. So, it should go without saying at this point, but Cee Lo Green/Gnarly Davidson had the West Week Ever.