#i’m fading and i’m fading fast
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Psalm 73:26, Psalm 46:10
hey uh i’ve been extremely unwell recently, was at the hospital for 12 hours last wednesday. um i’m genuinely worried about about my body being able to withstand the what is dubbed the “escalation of my symptoms”. so i just want to thank everyone for making this tumblr experience the best yet. thank you for treating me like a person and for your encouraging words.
for all the bodies in the pit for the knees on the floor and in bush that sides rural highways for all those in the lake those frozen by winter or frozen by freezer for those whom cling to the rock the ones burnt and those who never stopped screaming
i love you and it was never your fault. god loves you and it is the free will of man, our greed that has allowed for great evils to brand our backs and infect our lungs. you are meant to be here in this moment so please live. i hope life unfurls like a rose for you. it takes time. don’t let your anxiety or shyness bar you from opportunities. find the divine in simple pleasures.
#evidence of life#i know this is quite glib but don’t know what’s next and if my physical body can make it there#sucks the purpose of this blog my project sea legs never got to be in its live / active phase#anyways again this is not goodbye this is i genuinely don’t know if i’m waking up tomorrow this isn’t 2 scare anyone this is 2 say thank you#what’s a chill way to say that i didn’t go into detail about my illnesses n kinda fading fast like it’s not even ~me it’s my body giving out#this isn’t a suicide letter or my final words or something silly like that it’s that medically and physically idk what’s next#if you pray i’d appreciate prayer or if you’re spiritual in any way or keep people in your thoughts in a special way pls do so for me#it’s the end of our holiday but it isn’t goodbye !!#mwah#yeah i really don’t know how to write this without it sounding like fluttershy i think i’m gonna die soon sorryyyyy
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I’m so stressed out from this damn band…
Okay first off, tickets on sale Friday. Danny said announcing tomorrow…
Starcatcher world tour, maybe starting in August of this year based on what Jake and Danny said in the most recent interview ?
#how am I supposed to go back to work right now…#and function properly#I have so many things already happening this year#ALSO MSG ?!#this is gonna be a big tour guys#the days of gvf being small are fading so fast#I’m so proud of them#josh kiszka#greta van fleet#jake kiszka#sam kiszka#danny wagner
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🌙
#I haven’t seen my partner in a week#I’m fading. fast#I’m going on a date with a new girlie on Sunday#to the woods we go#me
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mythic quest fandom what are y’all up to?
#i feel like. the fixation is fading fast#like i’ve forgotten how to draw them#crazy how i’m like not excited for season 4 at all WE USED TO BE LIKE THIS 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼#need to rewatch soon#mythic quest
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speaking of hair, i never had my hair dye get so bleached away by the sun or something this much lol
usually it’s faded much more consistently through to the roots
secret purple…
#also kind of not impressed w how fast this faded too but whatever i’m done dying for the season i think#jennas buttface#my pictures
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HOZIER
HOZIER!!!!!
#i’ve tried to do this twice now cause tumblr keeps fucking crashing and my drafts don’t save and it’s. actually pissing me off#so i dunno how much i’m gonna have to say cause i’ve already tried to say it TWICE already and i am so fucking frustrated#but!!! hozier yippee#answering asks#chair asks#chair!!#okay so. anyway. i love when songs have more than one part god#part one is very pretty ough it’s like. Just his voice and some stuff in the background#OH woag another language;;#wagh i love how the voices like. start joining in at the end#and the like build up of the music#OUHHH ohhh woah part two is so so different than part one#Not what i expected this fuckin bangs#i love the music it like scratches my brain#aughhh#AUGH god the part where like#he’s like i wanna run against a world that’s turning the way he sings that part is so fucking good#ouhhhh;;;;#banger really#if i fade away let me fade away….#I WANNA FADE AWAY WITH YOU…..#yeah augh#this one’s up there on my list i think#i’d move so fast that i’d outpace the dawn!!!!!!!#anyway.#part one’s interesting but god part two dude#oh oh and and i’m hyped too cause unreal unearth is the one i’ve heard like Nothing from cackles
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3, 18, 33
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
my first reaction was oh both equally good but cotton candy such a rare treat and then i thought about it and i have bubblegum and cotton candy equally as frequently if not cotton candy MORE frequently (assuming bubblegum here means the pink bubblegum flavored stuff and not just gum in general). so i guess that means it’s cotton candy
18. ideal weather?
65F and raining… or that first 50F sunny day of the year when you wanna skip all your responsibilities to lay outside and bask in the sun. or 75F and sunny
33. most used phrase in your phone?
dunno how i would figure this out objectively (and also what even counts as a phrase) but proooobably something like. “literally soooo real” or smthn along those lines. or the word “like” itself i use that a LOT. most of my phone usage is on here so theoretically keysmashing could come into play
weird asks
#ask#ask meme#guys i’m fading so fast…#pre-going out nap i KNOW you won’t save me but like . what if u do
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also … that IS one of her greatest strengths. using criticism to better her craft and propel herself forward.
#and honestly it’s a more valid way of doing it than I’ve ever really given her credit for#I’ve always seen it with at least as much chagrin as affection#because it always seemed like unnecessary pain to me#like if she simply learned to care less and be less defensive she wouldn’t be so wounded#but actually as always there’s more purity and more worth to her process than I first assumed#(as always)#it’s for sure one of the more painful ways to live!!! but it demands so much of her#she lets it force her to rise above and dig deep. to push herself almost to the breaking point#and in whatever spirit she takes it (and she is allowed!) she uses it as feedback#and she’ll do the work to be better so thoroughly and exhaustively#and the results are beautiful!!!!#this is why she wears so well and only gets better with time#and why even though she was successful so fast there was this metallic bitterness to the first reaction to her#for her and other people#she wears sweeter because she DOES want to earn your trust and affection#and she will earn your respect!!!!#and that’s a quality so few pop stars (or tbh people) really have#ask me why so many fade and I’m still here!!!!!!
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does anyone have any good recommendations for red hair dye
#any shade of red ive been doing mostly bright red but I’m willing to try darker shades#nothing natural-looking though like not ginger red#& preferably lasts a while all the reds I’ve done fade super fast#sometimes opal says stuff
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#pls ignore this idk why I’m even posting#not another night crying myself to sleep#I’m not going to do anything but I do deeply wish I never existed in the first place#the only reason I’m still here is bc I can’t bear the thought of causing pain to my mom and cats#everyone else would be fine#and I’d be done with this endless bullshit in pursuit of nothing#life has gone to shit in every single way#everything good I’ve had is fading fast despite every effort I make#and my mom and cats won’t be with me forever#so what’s the point?#enjoying all I can until I have to face the pain of losing them too?#I’ve never wanted anybody else#I’ve never seen my future with anybody else#I don’t want to do this with anybody else#I don’t want to do this at all
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Does anyone else feel like there’s no cultural zeitgeist right now?
Like I’m watching a show from 2011 and everything about it - the outfits, music, even the dialogue - is straight up indicative of that time period. It feels like 2011.
I couldn’t name a single trend from the last … 5? years that had a cultural / time-defined impact that lasted more than a second or two.
Is this the collective trauma blur?
#like I will feel zero nostalgia from 2018-now#except MAYBE#early Covid lockdown when things were slow and quiet#really feel like we are existing in a liminal space rn#and I love pop culture!#I’ve had many favorites recently#but they fade SO fast#8 episodes of a one season Netflix show I binge in 2 days doesn’t stay with me longer than a week#minus jatp#jatp shoulda have 22 episodes#I think I’m tired of how fast everything turns over in order to be a hit#where’s the long game#I’m over the mcu too#it died by this fire too
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ok yes loving daisy jones so far bc i did just re read the book today so i’m back in it but my one qualm so far is that daisy is not unhinged like?? i don’t mind what minor plot/story changes they have made so far in fact i like it bc the book is completely told by multiple unreliable narrators that’s the whole point esp with the “plot twist” billy’s version (and daisys to less of an extent but still close to it bc she cared about camilla so she wouldn’t want to hurt julia) of things can’t be believed at all lmaooo so i don’t mind the changes i feel it’s a good way to frame it more real or whatever but my issue is why is Daisy so like put together??? she was insane and off her shit from age fourteen but so far three eps in she’s so ?? composed?? even in daisys unreliable pov of the book she knows she was an addict and a disaster and billy too on the first tour but in the show it’s so toned down maybe for viewer rating sakes? like maybe they can’t show heroin on prime shows idk lmaooo
#i do like it so far tho#i knew there would be A LOt of changes from the source material so i’m not like upset or shocked at what’s different so far#making a show BASED on a book is a whole thing bc u have to market it for ppl who haven’t read it as well it’s not meant to be#like catering directly to readers they have to make it to appeal to the general audience of ppl who have never heard of the book otherwise#they make no money so i get it and even before the early reviews came out i knew exactly what they would say that it veers off from the book#but i just think daisy should have been shown in a more real light she’s so together and sober in the show#not saying i enjoy the fact she was so addicted and a disaster but it was real that’s why ppl loved it bc it’s true that’s how it was like#she is and the book is based on real ppl#also pls don’t take my semi passionate ranting as an endorsement for the author LOL#tjr has stuff i like but not love i don’t think she’s revolutionary or anything close to that#like look at evelyn i loved it for like less that 24 hours i read it in a night and by two days later when the reader high faded i was like#wait actually……#you know?? and even daisy book i was never hooked x that hard when i first read it i was like yeah that was a fun read but also read it in#less than three hours it was just an easy light fun read in my opinion based on the books i gravitate to it was very light#and i reread it today and yes i enjoyed it immensely bc that’s how it was written in a fast paced enjoyable feel things briefly way#but the thing about tjr is i don’t think it was meant to read in a light way bc i see so many ppl like dying emotionally over her books and#i’m just like?? her writing isn’t that ‘deep’ or well tbh good#but it is goood in the way that it’s a good read technical skills aside it is entertaining and i do like a couple of hers#sorry i’m not shitting on her i like her but there are some aspects of her writing/her that i take issue with mainly in evelyn but that’s#another long ass topic/rant#i am a book snob i think LOL i’m sorry i’m i want to make it clear#just bc a book is an easy read doesn’t mean it’s BAD i just read a lot#like 300+ books a year since i was ten and that’s not me trying to flex it’s depressing truly bc i read to escape my fucked up issues#anyway#ummmm#i’m excited for more episodes LOL#i am really i’m loving it so far bc i need to feel something so this helps a bit
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rly messed up the make one friend and get into their friend group thing bc now most my friends r cishet and i’m so bad at meeting new ppl 😭
#like i love them they’re great but i need more lgbt friends like i need air fr#me every semester: i WILL join the uni gsa this year. but then i get scared and i run out of time 🫠#mfw i’m finally in an area with other gay ppl but i can’t even talk to them 😭😭#i’ll actually never understand how ppl make friends so easily like how do u just do that so fast and not fade into the background
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SOMEONE SAVE ME
I’m somewhere around here, please hurry.
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i created this scoring system to actually know go i’m attracted to a person. bc sometimes if forgot i’m like aspec and look at a person who’s barley sexually attractive and only sexually attractive and think i want to be with them. but yeah it’s out of 100 here it is:
#i’ve been ranking ppl i’ve had limernce with in the past and they r flunking HARD. i didn’t know they could score neg until they did#also scored the girl who treated me like dirt when i was 17…very low grade. failed badly. she was just physically attractive but that faded#also i’m not really one to give ppl ratings it just helps me understand myself better and the people i like or what i see in them#intellectualism and convo both out of 25 bc i have an air venus and love an obsessed artist and intellectual intimacy#i need to be in a room with hot ppl fast my past rankings for oldies on attractiveness were all under 9 my god.
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as a chronic oversprayer of perfume I think I need More
#I’m gonna run out of my new perfume before I get HOME!!!!!!!#to be FAIR it’s mostly citrus so it’s fades fast#also it was cheap (RELATIVE TO WHAT I USUALLY BUY/WEAR) so I don’t feel too too bad
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