#i’m begging you van 😂

[icouldntfindquiet]

i hope he changes up album 4 (if there is an album 4)

There will be an album 4. I can feel it!

I can see it!

2023 is the year he comes out of hiding. 😂

[pagesfromthevoid]

i love love LOOOVVVEEE your adrian chase series a fucking duck it’s so good and i can’t wait for more ahhhhh you write so well and you capture his character perfectly

A Fucking Duck | a.c. | 6

Adrian Chase x Bat!fem!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Language. Canon violence. Ya know the usual.

Author’s Note: I hope this makes sense. Please tell me if it doesn’t 😂

Series Masterlist | Talk to me!

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Harcourt demanded as she stopped loading the van.

Peacemaker shook his head. “That’s Vigilante,” he explained, rolling his eyes. She followed his gaze to see Vigilante poorly hiding behind the dumpster. “He’s just trying to be helpful.”

“Get the fuck outta here, Vigilante,” Crossfire yelled at him, loading her crossbow. “I’ll shoot you again. Don’t tempt me.”

Vigilante put his hands up and came out of hiding, pointing at her. “Excuse me; you can’t shoot me after we fu—“

“Get the hell out of here,” Harcourt demanded.

“After you what?” Peacemaker asked, looking between Crossfire and Vigilante now. Harcourt groaned in annoyance and returned to her work.

“Fought —“

“Fucked —“

They spoke over each other, and the silence that followed was almost too loud. She slowly turned and stared him down, but Vigilante didn’t seem to care at all. Peacemaker, on the other hand, started cackling.

“Oh holy shit, you fucked Vij? You’re a shit superhero; I thought you were supposed to arrest him!”

Harcourt was paying attention now, staring at Crossfire with both disgust and annoyance. From the inside the van, Economos was laughing so hard he was wheezing; though Adebayo seemed to be the only one who didn’t find the situation unusual.

“Who gives a shit if they slept together? Their bad decisions don’t effect us.”

“Thank you, Adebayo. Only fucking normal person here,” she huffed in frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose. “It was one time —“

“And you begged for it —“

“I’m going to actually kill you. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna kill you —“

Peacemaker held her back as she attempted to go after the masked criminal, and she yelled at him angrily to release her. Vigilante took that as a good moment to take off, leaving the group reeling from the ridiculous conversation that had just happened. Economos emerged from the van, watching Vigilante take off down the street.

“Isn’t he wanted for several counts of murder in like six states?” He asked, looking to her and Peacemaker.

Peacemaker released her when Vigilante was finally out of sight. She rammed her elbow into his stomach, making him double over as she walked away from him.

“Yeah,” she said, straightening out her suit and placing her crossbow back in its place on her belt.

“And yet you fucked him —“

“I’m gonna kill you too, dye beard.”

*****

“You need to fucking shoot them,” she snapped at Peacemaker. “They’re aliens! They’re not people anymore!”

“They’re fucking kids!”

The bushes rustled next to them, causing them to drop their mission and draw their weapons. Harcourt groaned again as Vigilante emerged, hands up —though he carried a gun in one of them. Crossfire groaned and returned her attention to the butterflies, eying them through the scope.

“Give me the fucking gun so I can do it, you pussy,” she snapped at Peacemaker, reaching for the sniper.

She wasn’t thrilled at the idea of killing people, but this needed to end. It was getting out of hand, and she was rapidly losing interest in being there. However, he smacked her hand away, and she looked at him like he was a petulant child. The two argued for several minutes as Vigilante and Harcourt watched. Vigilante seemed entertained at the whole thing, but Harcourt was annoyed.

“Neither of you are going to fucking do it,” she said, pointing to Vigilante now. “He is.”

“Like hell he is —“ Crossfire started to argue. But Harcourt shut her up quick.

“Neither of you are functional enough for this. At least I know he’ll do it right the first time.”

Vigilante puffed up from the compliment, nudging himself between Crossfire and Peacemaker. She pushed herself away, crossing her arms over her chest like a child herself now. The entirety of this mission was going to be a drain on her mental health; and she felt like the longer she stuck around, the more brain cells she was losing. Vigilante, however, seemed all too happy to take over.

He swiped his visor up, leaning into the scope of the gun to take his shot. She watched from the side as Peacemaker fell back behind them, frowning as Vigilante took the shot without hesitation. The firing made her flinch, and his stupid commentary on the three bears only made it worse as he lined up the final shot. However, before the shot could be taken, a flash of green threw themselves at him.

Vigilante fell into her, and she shoved him off of her as she pushed herself off the ground. Vigilante scrambled himself, but the guy in green kicked him again. Crossfire went for her crossbow but he road house kicked her in the face, then snatched her crossbow up.

“Fuck this shit,” Vigilante announced, moving to make his getaway. “Fair fight, I’m out.”

“You fucking coward,” she yelled at him as she started to chase after him.

The asshole in green went after them both though, and with another swift kick to the back of her head, she dropped down. Vigilante turned, hesitating as if to help, when he was knocked out himself.

*****

The entirety of her skull felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to it when she finally managed to come to. Panic overwhelmed her senses as she tried to move; her hands were bound above her and she was just barely touching the ground. Her vision was blurry but she could make out Vigilante tied to a chair, and Peacemaker bound to another across the room.

“What the fuck,” she managed to say, looking around.

“We’re being held hostage,” Peacemaker explained, as if she hadn’t figured that out herself.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Don’t be fucking rude. This isn’t my fault.”

“I’m blaming you for everything that’s going wrong in my life until this is over,” she countered as Vigilante stirred next. He made a pained sound as he looked around. “You’re a bitch. Fucking running away.”

He hummed a bit, shaking his head some to relieve the headache. “Wha—?”

Goff entered suddenly, the little fucker in green following behind.

“Take off her mask,” he ordered, pointing at her. Goff moved to Vigilante.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.”

She thrashed around, trying to keep him from touching her mask. But he punched her in the stomach, causing her to try to double over, losing her breath. He tore the mask off her face as Vigilante begged Goff not to. She kept her eyes down, trying to relieve the pain from being hit, as Vigilante’s mask hit the floor.

“Bro, what the fuck are you doing?”

“If I keep changing my facial expression, they won’t be able to recognize me in a line up,” he explained. She almost laughed at how stupid he was.

She finally looked up, spitting out a little bit of blood from her mouth. But then she heard it. The small gasp; her name, with shock lacing every syllable. Her blood ran cold, and every fiber of her being wanted to scream as she finally made eye contact with the criminal she had been tailing for months now. Only to see the face of the man she’d been falling hard for.

“Adrian?”

There wasn’t time to process that her boyfriend —her fucking boyfriend was a murderer. That he had been trying to kill her for months now. Any and all thought seemed to disappear as Goff attached jumper cables to his crotch.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She demanded, eyes going wide.

“I’m going to get information out of you,” he explained simply, adding another clamp.

“Give it your best shot!” Peacemaker screamed.

Adrian looked horrified. “What —! No! Please!”

“No!” She yelled at the same time, just as Goff electrocuted the shit out of Adrian. She screamed as he did and she watched in horror as he convulsed.

“Yeah! Keep it up asshole! You won’t get shit outta me!” Peacemaker yelled again.

“Fuck, I’ll tell you whatever you want!“ She countered, pulling against her restraints.

Goff paused, turning off the electricity. Adrian dug his feet into the ground, closing his eyes as he tried to keep himself calm. But it was clear he was in agony.

“What can you tell me then? What do you know?”

Peacemaker started screaming, trying to cover up what she was saying. She looked at him with absolute disgust, screaming back at him to shut the fuck up. Goff was seemingly getting annoyed, turning his back to address the asshole in green.

“What the fuck is wrong with you! That’s your friend!”

“Why the fuck do you care! You hate him!”

“No I don’t! That’s my boyfriend, you jackass!”

Silence filled the room, and Peacemaker looked between her and Adrian, confused. Then he looked closer to his supposed friend, frowning. “Aren’t you Gut Chase’s little brother?”

Adrian looked defeated, realizing his hero didn’t even know who he was. “Y-yeah, I am.”

“You’re not skinny as shit anymore. Solid frame; still a bit wirey but otherwise, nice work.”

“Thanks,” Adrian said through gritted teeth, catching his breath finally. “I’ve turned my body into an instrument of vengeance for —“

“Is this really the conversation we need to be having?” She demanded, fighting against the ropes that were cutting into her wrists.

Adrian finally caved and looked at her again. Even after all the fighting and the insults, it was still just her. He really had hoped he had been hallucinating from pain. “I mean, let’s talk about the fact that you cheated on me —“

“Adrian, we’re the same fucking people —“

“But you didn’t know!”

“Adrian, that means you cheated on me too!”

There was a moment of realization as he came to the conclusion she was drawing. “Oh.”

“This is also not the conversation to be having!”

Goff returned his attention to the three of them, picking up a pair of rusty looking sheers. She fought against her ropes once more, and suddenly her gloves felt like they were slipping out.

“If you’re not going to give me what I need, then I’ll take something you need. One by one,” Goff threatened, pointing at Adrian again.

“What the fuck! Why me again!”

“He’s the alpha; it makes more sense to torture you.”

“Don’t worry, bro. I won’t give them anything.”

“Maybe just give them a little?” Adrian pleaded.

“What about me?” She asked, voice frantic as she tried to slip her gloves off. “Hurt me. Not him.”

“Wait; no, no, no, don’t hurt her —“

Goff seemed to be rapidly losing interest in the argument, turning his attention back to Adrian. She gritted her teeth, just enough to distract from the burning sensation that came from pulling her hand out of the glove, and through the rope. Just as she got her one hand free, though, Adrian screamed out again. She looked back up; then quickly away as Goff started to cut into his foot. His screams filled the room as she closed her eyes, freeing her other hand from the remaining restraint.

She dropped to the ground, looking at Peacemaker when suddenly, she was knocked to the ground by the green fucker again. But she was ready for a fight this time, grabbing him by the ankles and yanking him onto his back. He rolled and grabbed her by her hair, slamming her face into the ground but she wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to pin him down. As she went to punch him, though, the walls around them shook. Taking advantage of her distraction, he shoved her off of him and took off towards the main part of the house.

The shaking got worse, then suddenly an explosion erupted. Peacemaker managed to get himself out of his restraints as she rushed towards Adrian, snatching his mask off the ground, then cutting the ropes that held him. He looked up at her, trying to say anything but between the blinding pain in his foot and the shock of their identities —for once, Adrian didn’t have anything to say.

Peacemaker took advantage of the situation, shooting Goff in the face suddenly. She flinched as blood splattered everywhere, but her attention was focused on Adrian.

“C‘Mon pretty boy,” she encouraged, slipping his mask over his face. “We need to get outta here before we get killed.”

Peacemaker held her mask out to her, giving her a single nod. She took it and returned it to its rightful place, obscuring who she was once more. Not that it seemingly mattered, given that Adrian was her enemy, but it was a thought that would be dwelled on later.

She hoisted Adrian up, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he hopped his way towards the hole in the wall. Adebayo pushed through the rubble with Murn and Harcourt in tow, guns drawn. Peacemaker put his hands up, nodding back towards the two of them.

“They’re gonna need a sec, I think,” he said.

The team exchanged odd looks but he told them to hurry up, leaving the two of them alone for a moment.

“I…I think we have to talk, don’t we?” Adrian asked, looking down at her through his visor.

“I think that’s the understatement of the century, Adrian.”

———

Series Masterlist

———

Taglist: @ladybug023 @pedropascalfanclub @se-fucking-hun @chelseaxteens @sannie-san-shine @notalxx @tubble-wubble @inmate-marmalade @fanofverymanythings @truly-abysmal @sevenseasofcats @dallasvakarian @why-so-red

[thebadgerclan]

Cruelty

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Wylan Van Eck

Summary: His father’s cruelty still haunts him...

GOD I love this ship and I love this trope so here, enjoy 😂

Also I HC that Wylan’s nightmares don’t scare him so much as unsettle and reawaken his insecurities, but that’s just me

He might have been able to focus on the words before him were it not for the switch in his father’s hand.  “Come now, Wylan.  It isn’t difficult.”  He breathed deeply, trying to make the shapes on the paper look like words, to look like anything other than jumbled shapes and lines.  He was 15 years old, and Wylan was holding a children’s book, one he knew from the art style was meant for 3 year olds, and he couldn’t make sense of the words.

“Ghezen and his works,” his father sighed, stepping closer.  “Read a single sentence, Wylan, I beg of you.”  But he couldn’t.  Wylan simply didn’t see words on the paper, though he knew they were there.  “I… I can’t.”  Smack!  The switch swatted against Wylan’s back, making him yelp.  “Read, Wylan.”  “Father, I-”  Smack!  Another hit, this one on his arm.  When he failed to read, or tried to guess at what the words were based on the images, the hits increased.

Then his father began hitting his hands, his palms.  “We’ll see how well you play that damned flute now,” his father said, and Wylan let out a whimper.  He soon realized that was a mistake, as seven swats from the switch rained down on him in rapid succession.  “Worthless.  Ghezen, if my father could see you, an invalid idiot.  I should have drowned you in the canal when you were born.”  Smack, smack, smack!

“Wylan, wake up.  Honey, wake up for me.”  Wylan sucked in a breath as his eyes flew open, startling away from the presence at his side.  “Hey, hey.  It’s me, baby.  It’s just me.”  Wylan blinked, rubbing his eyes, seeing that his hands were uninjured.  “J-Jesper?”  “Yeah baby,” the Zemini said, cautiously moving closer.  “It’s me.  Are you alright?  You were moaning in your sleep.”

Jesper could easily have made a joke there, but he knew that now wasn’t the time, not when Wylan was shaking like that, his eyes flitting nervously around the room.  “Y-yeah,” Wylan stammered.  “Just a bad dream.”  Jesper inched closer again, a soft frown on his face.  “Baby, you’re shaking like a tree in a windstorm, I think it was more than a bad dream.”  He opened his arms, and Wylan let out a sob, practically flinging himself into his boyfriend’s arms.

“Woah, hey, hey, Wy.  I’ve got you, I’m right here.”  Jesper scooted backwards so he was leaning against the headboard and shifted Wylan so he was comfortably seated in his lap.  “Let it all out, my love.  I’m right here.  You’re safe, honey, you’re safe.  Wylan let Jesper’s embrace and words calm him, and a few minutes later, he was ready to speak.

“It was my father,” Wylan began, resting his head on Jesper’s shoulder.  “He was trying to get me to read.  But when I couldn’t, he would beat me.  He…”  Wylan broke off, and Jesper rubbed his arm soothingly.  “It’s alright, baby,” he said.  “Take your time.”  Wylan took a deep breath and pushed on.  “He would hit my hands with a switch so I couldn’t play my flute.  He would take away the one thing that made me happy.”

Jesper cursed under his breath, holding Wylan a bit tighter. “Wylan, honey, I’m so sorry.  But he can never hurt you ever again.  Your bastard of a father will rot in Hellgate for the rest of his life while we live in his house and spend his money.  How do you think pious Jan Van Eck would feel about his son sleeping with a man, a man who looks like me no less, under his roof?”

Wylan let out a little laugh at that, and Jesper smiled.  “He’d hate it.”  “Exactly.  Which is exactly why I love it.  And you know I don’t give a rat’s ass about you not being able to read, I love you exactly as you are.”  “I love you too, Jes.  It’s just… when I have these dreams, it’s like I can’t escape him, like he’s still here.  My father’s in prison, yet I can’t escape the fear he instilled in me.  The feeling that I’m not enough, that I’ll never be enough.”

“You know that’s not true, baby.  Wylan, you are perfect exactly as you are, and it’s a pity that your father couldn’t see that.  So you can’t read, that’s just one part of you.  And there are so many other parts of you, and I love all of them.  I love you, Wylan Van Eck, and trust me when I say that if your father ever sees the light of day again, I’ll be first in line to beat his ass.”

“I think you’ll have to get in line,” Wylan said, pressing a kiss to Jesper’s cheek.  “There are a lot of people angry with him after our little scheme at the auction.”  “Then I’ll cut the line.  And I’ll get back in line and cut the line again.  No one gets to hurt my baby and get away with it.”  Wylan’s heart was racing, but not from the nightmare; from Jesper’s sweet words and declarations.

“I love you,” he said, snuggling into Jesper’s chest.  “I love you so much, Jesper.  Thank you.”  “You don’t have to thank me, merchling,” Jesper replied,kissing his unruly locks.  “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”  The vision of his father beating him was still fresh, and Wylan felt as if someone had poured freezing water over his head, and he shivered.

“Not yet,” he said, and Jesper nodded.  “Want me to read to you?” he asked, pulling the blankets, warm from their bodies, over Wylan’s form.  The mercher nodded, a smile crossing his face.  “I’d love that.”  It was only after Jesper began reading to him that Wylan discovered his love of books.  They no longer held the anxiety and fear they once had; now, they were escape, entertainment.  And that fact that his boyfriend had a lovely voice was a definite bonus.

Jesper flicked on the lamp and retrieved the novel they were working their way through, this one about a young boy who discovered his magical powers and went off to school, far away from his wretched aunt and uncle.  Jesper opened the book and began to read, his voice soothing Wylan and quickly putting him to sleep.  Jesper knew he’d have to reread this chapter when Wylan would remember it, but he didn’t mind, he just kept reading until he was sure his boyfriend was out.

[x-ladydisdain-x]

Random ask: Top favourite moments from Doctor Who?

Okay so I’m gonna be completely honest- so far I’ve only seen the first five seasons of NuWho and none of Classic Who. Also I haven’t watched any episodes in a few months because I’ve not been in America so I don’t remember that much except for what I’ve seen on YouTube and tumblr.

BUT from what I do remember, in no particular order:

pretty much any Jack scene, in particular when he regains consciousness and goes “was someone kissing me?” It’s just so him 😂

Every Donna scene but especially when her and the doctor see each other again through the windows that was hilarious, the “Donna, human, no!” scene in fires of Pompeii, later that episode when she’s begging the doctor to save someone, her goodbye in journeys end, and when Wilf & the doctor meet up again in the cafe (?) and he sees Donna through the window and just kinda breaks

(those last three I love because they hurt not because they’re happy or funny)

Also really any scene where the doctor and Rose are making each other giggle it’s just so cute and innocent, Rose’s first goodbye in Doomsday :(, and her reunion w/ the doctor when Martha says “oh my god he found you”

Also when the doctor and Amy take Van Gogh into the future and he sees all his art it’s so emotional

Oh and Nine’s regeneration! As much as Ten’s hurts with his “I don’t want to go” I think I like Nine’s more. Christopher Eccleston’s era isn’t talked about enough, he was amazing.

Sorry this got kinda long

[darke15]

Annnnnnaaaaaaa!!!!! I've missed you so much!!!!!! @itsarussian

daaaaaaaaaamn the summary is hyping me up, the vibe is a very detached ghost, im getting almost ws vibes. i've been praying for a more violent ghost, we got the chill ghost doing avengers and aftermath stuff, we got the sweet and mad in love ghost with bucky, im on my knees if we do actually have a ghost that lets her darker side take the lead

Feral!Ghost has finally arrived and she is here to stay 😌

i cannot fucking wait

Neither can I 😈

with these thoughts, im honestly scared of what shell do once she ll have her hands on walsh

It’s gonna be great 😏I’m v excited

..okay so you only seem to notice WHITE vans, try black ones since they go so well unnoticed......

😂😂😂

YELENA IS COMING yessssss with belov and her, i know they ll have a nice trip lol

yahhhhhhhhhhhhssssssss

oh hi Bucky, still in the thinking tripp hey

😭😭😭

SAM DONT JOKE ABOUT THIS I HAVE A SAMI OFFICIAL BET GOING ON, you got this clint

😈😈😈

spys see a van and automaticly go blind AND NEAR THE WIDOWS NEST TOO............ idk what to say

They didn’t recognize dear little Zac driving the van…he looks too innocent

aww nooo pete dont get angry boi and pls dont get the real ghost troubles lol i know you wanna help and be an avenger.... AND DONT LOOK UP TO THE FAKE ASS GHOST STAPH

Yesssssssss 😈

melina, nat and bucky together ... crying internally cause we're not going to see this in the canon mcu SIGH

Riiggghhhhhttttt??? Missed opportunity by the MCU

i fucking love how you describe scenes AAAARGH its so fucking good, its so painful

Thank you 😌🖤

and the memorial, and the picture AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

😭😭😭

shes so rageful its beautiful

It really is 😌😈

this is so muah CHEF KISS

Thank you 🖤

WOWOWWWWOOOOO HELLLLOOOOOO wraith and novak, the gang is back i missed them oops

Same tho

OOOOOOHHHHH novak is leaving him?!??!!! HEYOOO

Novak is over it

Zac AHAHAH "What?" what is it?" he cried, ducking behind the steering wheel, "what did i do?" my baby

He’s adorable

JACK AHGJSFADFGSAG

He’s on one

and nea running up to ghost, STOP WITH THE ONIONSSS I BEG YOU

no

nat and clint pls dont tell me you re really REALLY helping him find her PLS CINT PLSSS

😈😈😈

ghost's having paris flashback listeing to them lol

For real tho 😂 this is the second time they’ve plotted against her

HE WANTED TO BE GHOST? GIVE HIM A WRAITH TO MATCH.

OH MY GOD YES

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

"I'LL GIVE HIM A VILLAIN" YEEEEEEESSS YESS

YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS

the shift we've seen from ghost is unbelievebly and amazingly written, im in love MY GOOOOD

Thank you so much!!!

i love how she is slowly giving her darker self more overall controll, and how people around her are very slowly but surely catching up to her mental state that this situation is putting her through; im gonna love boone, duke, turner and raf reaction eheh

Ughhhhh raffa is hella worried rn

also novak distancing himself from walsh?? Ahiahiii

He’s got other plans now 😈

so freaking excited

Thank you so much, Anna! I’ve missed you so much and I’m so happy to have you back!

Chapter 75 // OLYMPUS BURNS

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

Your eyes widened as Zac turned the last corner, your heart dropped as the burnt skeletons of trees guided you through the forest. Towers of smoke had been beckoning to you the closer you got to the base. They grew darker and darker the further into the forest you went until your gaze finally landed on what was left of Olympus. 

Most of the buildings were reduced to rubble. Piles of bricks were scattered across the scorched grass. The pristine glass windows that had once decorated each face of the building were each shattered; left with only jagged pieces that glinted in the afternoon sun. White stucco was nearly seared to a crisp and smoke still wafted from the stone. The columns surrounding the rotunda were covered in char that crept up them like diseased vines. 

— You nodded, pushing yourself to your feet and holding out your arm to Oliver as the Commander picked his cigar up from the floor and put it back between his teeth, “Ollie! Grab my rifle!” —

“Zac,” you said, reaching behind you as you gazed over the base, “My rifle.”

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

Chapter 75 // OLYMPUS BURNS

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

» Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇTᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

[catb-fics]

Do you think Van is more of a vanilla sex or a hard kinky sex type 🙈

what about Bob,Bondy and Benji

Omg 🙈

I’m so sorry nsfw stuff below! And I have no clue but I’m just going to let my imagination run wild 😂

✨ I can imagine Van to be adventurous, like he’d be up for trying most stuff I reckon! Would deffo get off on tying you up and making you beg for it, a total tease. Probably has a massive praise kink (giving and receiving). Likes to take control usually but harbours a secret submissive side. Horny 24/7, basically a walking hard-on. Wants to try every sex toy in the shop just to ‘see what it does’! Endless energy that. Never. Runs. Out. EVER.

✨ I’ll say Bondy is a very considerate lover, likes to take his time, wants to try tantric sex as he’s heard the orgasms are mind-blowing. Probably doesn’t come across as very kinky but he has a hidden dark side. Likes a dominant lady to take control. Probably likes the thrill of shagging in public places idk why but I can imagine it!

✨ I think Bob’s a dark horse (they say you have to watch out for the quiet ones!) I can’t say too much though Bob is too pure I’m sorry Bob!

✨ I have no idea about Benji I can’t imagine it at all sorry 😭 Let’s go with sweet and vanilla!

Please tell me your thoughts too I’m dying to know!

[catb-fics]

hey! 🙋‍♀️ once the NA tour dates come out, you bet im going to trying my absolute hardest and pour my little heart into shagging him. it’s my main life goal rn. 😭 just once van, I’m on my knees begging

LMAO

Anon you wonderful selfless person going to these lengths for the fandom. I feel like I should volunteer for the UK leg of the tour 😂

[catb-fics]

I'm crying at yours and Van's marriage lasting a week 🤣 I'm fully with you though, I love him but I think I could only put up with him for short periods of time. Don't you legally have to be married a year before you can file for divorce? We'd split up within the first month and then have a long bitter divorce that drags out years just like the band's breakup 😂😭😭

Yeah I’m so calm and chilled normally but I think me and Van would have a volatile relationship, I’d be like Kathleen, I’d be round there cutting up his clothes one minute and then begging him to take me back the next 😂

Just marry Bob anon it would be less hassle and your kids would still be adorable 🥰

[catb-fics]

I want to be so used to seeing Van roaming the house completely naked that it doesn’t phase me anymore. Like just accepting him for him

I’d want him to be decent though and wear boxers at least when company was coming by. I’d slap his bare arse for ignoring me and not wearing anything least for a little decency and in response he’d turn around and kiss me laughing bc it stresses me out about him always running the risk of cutting it close to being seen naked. It always cracks me up thinking ab him not being able to find clothes fast enough when there’s company and having to hide till they leave or beg for anyone to bring him clothes

I feel like when he’s asked to wear clothes for decency he does the bare minimum and would have his sweatpants so low barely covering his dick and he’d have his arse out and say “I’m wearing bottoms like you asked, babe!” when he’d walk by omg he’d be such a child about it

Omg I’ve been laughing so much at this and my bf asked what I was laughing at 😂

I deffo can imagine him being an exhibitionist 😂

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pub anon hereee sorry i had to work a lottt yesterday, no time for tumblr lol IM SERIOUS I SWEAR!!!!!im gonna tell the details what do you guys wanna know, i just have something to say about him: FUCKING HOT. LONG HAIR (a little bit longer that was last year). HOT. HOT.

I sooooo wanna believe you but at this point I’m not even sure that Van exists anymore!!! Don’t play with our hearts pub anon I beg I was literally in Notts last week 😭😂😂😂

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ok I know I can’t be the only one.. so…. In the song outside. Van sings “and now u beg for my COMMMMpany” ;) ya know. ;))). Commmpany. 🫣 or am I just dirty minded.

You need your brain bleaching lmao 😂

I had never thought about this before but now I’m gonna be thinking about it every time I hear Outside!

And just for you… here ya go xxx

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JAHAHAUAJDJKRDJ SCREAMING WHY I I’ve never seen that interview of Van saying he doesn’t like foo fighters at big weekend or I have but didn’t listen to that part but BRO I AM 😭😭😭 “I respect that they’re a stadium band but their music is...god awful” Van sir pls I’m begging u 😩 haha I love foo fighters but honestly I have to respect that he’s openly dissing them on tv like that it’s so fucking funny

I know when heard it I was like… did he really say that?! Like speak your mind Van ha ha! I like to call this ‘pure unfiltered Van!’ 😂

I had to go and find it to watch it again - he cracks me up! All you Swiftys will be pleased with him mentioning Taylor though! ☺️

Also… this is about as close as we’ll get to seeing Van in a suit 👀

X

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Catb confession: so couple days ago I watched porn and the male pornstar looks like van (he has brunette hair that looks like 2016 van and also he's skinny, his skintone kinda match too). So yeah... I can't stop watching those video, I feel bad and I also feel this isn't normal help😭😭

Omg send me the link I’m begging you!!!! 😂😂😂 (for research purposes 👀)

Ha ha this reminds me of that interview where he said he would have been either a wrestler, a footballer or a pornstar if he hadn’t formed a band!

Send me your catb confessions

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i’m mean singing voice - look, it’s just shines through sometimes 🤭. i noticed it in the vids u linked earlier, but also just in other things like the r+l set this year. it’s bizarre but i cant unhear it 😂 alas van, honey, i love u and your kermit undertones - so all is well🥰

Kermit undertones!!! 😂 I really need to know what you mean! Please send me a clip! I’m begging you!

I don’t doubt it’s still the Van we all know and love but this is killing me I need to hear the frogginess! 🐸

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Nah that video of Van ironing though like he looks like he’s about to knock the whole thing over bless him 😂

I bet it would be a situation where he’d be figuring what to do for Valentine’s or something and he’d wear one of those pink love heart aprons and be like “yeah love, I’ve cleaned the entire house AND made us dinner” but what really happened was he tried, ended up breaking something - begging Larry & bondy to help him after he offers drinks on him for the next month 😂

I know he looks like he’s struggling a bit with the ironing doesn’t he bless him?!

Omg I love your Valentine’s scenario so much! I’m picturing Van in a pink love heart apron and it’s such a good look for him! He would have tried sooo hard, made a half decent attempt at tidying the house (just shoving stuff into cupboards/drawers to clear the clutter), tried to cook a fairly ambitious meal (cue multiple calls to Mary to check on oven temperatures and ask for advice… “Mam - should this meat really be pink in the middle and charred on the outside?”)

Eventually he would have admitted defeat, desperate calls to Larry and Bondy who’d arrive like knights in shining armour to rescue Van, laden down with some posh meal-deal thing from Waitrose and some fancy wine.

Of course he’d try and pass the meal off as his own creation… “yeah of course love, I’ve been slaving away in the kitchen all afternoon!” You’d take in his slightly frazzled appearance, pleasantly surprised by the meal, believing him until you spotted all the packaging sticking out the kitchen bin… but you’d just go along with it because he looked so damn cute in his pink apron and he was trying so hard to impress you!!! 🥰

Ha ha sorry I got completely carried away there! 😆