#i’m aware that a couple of these are a bit of a reach and/or can be explained by trauma or other things
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, fin. — JJK (m.)
for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 43.2k idcccccc atp😭 take ur time!
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. dont read further warnings if u dont wanna be spoiled: ANGST. im aware i kinda overkilled it here but uh.. hear me out! explicit sexual content [ male mast*rbation, oral s*x (f&m receiving), making out, dry h*mping, penetr*tive s*x (protected and unprotected, missionary, cowgirl, doggy, spooning), a bit of c*mplay, jk <3 boobs, ily kink (redacted) cries during sex lol ]. FLUFFy fluff fluffff 😖 some of the scenes give very much like 2000s romcom vibes but idc sue me also theres a #merder reference ifykyk
NOTES we have finally reached the end! sorry it took me a month to get this out sjdfhd but its here and its long as fuck n im so proud of this and happy that i finished a series!! for once!!! will always love my silly tlp couple and the characters 🥹 let me know ur thoughts on my inbox oki and circulate by liking and reblogging if u enjoyed reading hihi ty ok bye enjoy reading!🫵🏼🫵🏼 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]
[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]
A day passed since the fiasco at the villa happened and Jungkook and you have acted like total strangers since then. The rest of your friends easily took notice of it; the silence between you two on the ride to the airport, the not-so discreet way you avoided each other at the waiting area, even going as far as exchanging seats inside the plane when on any other day, you two didn’t mind being close together physically.
Jungkook knows absolutely that the avoidance is doing you both a disservice. You’re both grown adults and going to extreme lengths to ignore each other – like not even looking at the other when you bump in the hospital hallways – is a one-way ticket to your relationship’s foundations crumbling.
That thought terrified Jungkook so much that he decided to come clean tonight. Talk to you properly when his mind is cleared and there was no Mingyu to aggravate his thoughts and project actions he’s not necessarily proud of – because the fight was juvenile, he knows that. Him committing and giving in to violence is not something he wants you to see, no matter the context. You were right when you said that was not him, and Jungkook can’t have you thinking otherwise.
When he steps in front of your apartment door, he thinks if you’re already there. He isn’t entirely sure. You two haven’t seen each other at the hospital and you haven’t been texting him either. You might still be doing your rounds, he thought, but when he opens the door to your unit and trudges his feet to the living room, he catches a sight of you going out from your bedroom.
The two of you freeze upon seeing each other, but Jungkook’s surprise soon turns into confusion when he notices the carry-on luggage in your hand.
“Oh, you’re here,” You utter, filling the silence in the air. “I was just going.”
“Where?” Jungkook instantly asks, taking you both by surprise.
But you quickly recover. You give him a small smile – but what Jungkook clearly sees is a wince.
“I’m going over to my sister’s,” You must’ve seen the way Jungkook’s boring holes at your pink luggage, and so you take a glance at it momentarily, tugging on the handle to scoot it over closer to your side. You clear your throat. “I’m staying there for a while.”
Jungkook feels a certain weight drop on his shoulders, his lips parting at your declaration.
“__, i-if this is about what I said, you don’t have to leave—”
You cut him off quickly. “No. It’s not that. I just… I just need some time away.”
Even though he doesn’t like the implication, he gets you.
Blinking, he thinks what to say next. Jungkook doesn’t want to say the wrong words – he’s well aware of the fact that he's put his foot in his mouth back at the resort, and he’s not fucking up the second time around.
While he intended to talk to you tonight to address the elephant between you two, he also understands completely why you need time for yourself. It was too much. He told you a lot of things and he can’t expect you to process all of them in a single day.
So, he nods, still stricken, heart heavy when he looks at you again. “Okay.”
“Okay.” You repeat, voice a little louder than him. A pregnant pause, and you’re pulling up the handle of your luggage again, the wheels gliding on the floorboards as you begin to head towards the door to your apartment.
Jungkook doesn’t mean to sound so alarmed when he suddenly blurts out, “Now?”
He doesn’t even know why. It was the obvious. You’ve packed your things – you’re heading out. But he couldn’t stop himself. It’s like there’s a sense of fear clouding his mind the more this moment of you leaving stretches out further.
You stop on your tracks, blinking at him. “Y-yeah?”
“Oh.” Jungkook feels his hand itching to do something. Something stupid like grab your wrist gently to make you stay.
But he knows that’s futile. He doesn’t have the right to make you stay if you don’t want to in the first place.
“Seokjin’s actually coming in a few minutes,” you tell him, glancing at your phone. “My sister’s still at work, so she made him pick me up.”
Jungkook can only give you a nod.
It makes sense for your brother-in-law to come pick you up. It also makes sense for you to stay over their place considering that their apartment isn’t that far from the hospital and you won’t have a hard time commuting to work if you planned to stay there for a little while.
He wonders, though, why you aren’t staying at Doyeon’s instead… he doesn’t know if you’ve talked already, but from what it seems, you aren’t talking to the rest of your friends, either; judging by the way he hasn’t seen you together with any of them at the hospital. Taehyung had suggested that maybe you just need time, to which Doyeon and Nayeon agreed to. Jungkook can’t help but feel bad, though. You’re seemingly coming out isolated at the end of his own doing. If you’re avoiding your friends just because of him, that would be extremely unfair to you. Taehyung, Doyeon and Nayeon are just as much as your friends as they are his, and during these times, you should feel comfortable taking solace in their friendship like how he’s leaning on them currently.
Guilt washes over him at the thought. He can’t bear thinking about you hurting in the process of all of this. He just wants so badly to make it up to you, for you both to be okay again. You didn’t even have to acknowledge what he said – about him being in love with you. You could totally ignore it and act like it never happened, go on about your days like nothing changed as long as you’re by his side.
It hurts. It hurts that even when you’re just physically within his reach right now, he can’t seem to get a hold of you. And he has no one to blame but himself.
A phone rings and Jungkook watches as you fish out your device from your pockets.
“Must be Jin.” you say, picking up the call. You exchange a few words with your brother-in-law for a few seconds before hanging up and looking at him again. “He’s outside already.”
Jungkook nods, biting back the words that consist of something stupid like “don’t leave”.
“Your car…?” He hesitates, remembering how you’d drive to work.
“It broke again yesterday. I’m actually… uh… thinking of just selling it. Get it over with.”
Your car. You mentioned your parents have turned it over to you during your junior year in college. It always broke in the most inconvenient times – like the one time you had a bad date, and you panicked-texted him about the car towing company not picking up. It was a Sunday and Jungkook was supposed to go over some paper works, but he scrambled out of his room to get you – and he didn’t regret it one bit because you were actually crying the moment he arrived. You had been overstimulated, what with another failed date and your broken car – it was all too much. And you just needed Jungkook to be there. You told him so.
Jungkook cherishes those moments a lot. Not because you cried in them – he always felt like it was a punch to the gut whenever he sees you even an ounce of upset – but because it tells him that you trust him with that vulnerable side of you. It means he’s important enough to you to let him in your life. It’s one of those moments where Jungkook truly steps back to reevaluate your relationship – because sure, it could be merely friendship to anybody, but Jungkook doesn’t really think so. Your bond runs deeper than friendship, and he doesn’t even mean romantic. It’s the… camaraderie. The partnership.
He could’ve confessed a long time ago – that’s what people kept saying, but what they don’t know is that he has so much to lose. You are more than just the woman he would love to kiss and make love to or call his girlfriend – you’re the love of his life, you’re everything to him. And if he can’t have you in any way, he’d truly break.
And now that everything’s said and done – with him finally baring his truth to you – it’s come to this.
You, leaving.
The silence that follows pricks Jungkook’s skin like needles, and the creak of your steps on the floorboards ring in his ears – a daunting harsh whisper of your farewell – although it’s just temporary.
But something worries him.
What if it’s not temporary? What if during your stay at your sister’s place, you decide to completely get rid of his company for the good and better?
It’s all those frantic thoughts that urges him to call your name, but he doesn’t expect your voice overlapping with his as you say his name at the same time.
Jungkook’s lips curl up slightly. “What is it?”
Predictably, you wave your hand at him. “No, you first.”
“It’s okay.”
Your hand hovers over the handle of your suitcase as you pass by him, stopping on the threshold of your apartment. “I just…” you trail off. You look at Jungkook for a moment. “I just wanted to say bye. And uh… that… I drank all your banana milk in the fridge. But I’ll wire you the money later. Or buy you another batch and I’ll give it to you at the hospital or—”
Jungkook cuts you off by calling out your name, broken by a laugh of amusement. His first smile today, maybe. You look at him wide-eyed. It’s fascinating the way you have him completely wrapped around your finger and you’re not even doing anything.
“It’s fine. You don’t need to wire me anything.”
“Oh... well, I’m still sorry.” He nods, giving you a small smile. “What was it you wanted to tell me, then?”
Right now, he forgets what it was even all about. “Just, uh, please tell your sister and Seokjin hyung I said hi.”
Jungkook doesn’t want to delude himself into thinking that your face flashed a look of disappointment for the briefest moment after he said the words. At the back of his mind, he thinks you were expecting more – but he knows he’s reaching, grasping for straws, and he’s just desperate for anything from you he can’t really rationalize his line of thinking.
So with a final wave of your hand – a bit timid – you turn around and open the door to your unit, and Jungkook watches as your form disappears completely, leaving him stoned in his position in the middle of the living room for a long time; head empty, body numb, until he gathers time to collect himself and finally move over to the bathroom, where he takes a cold shower in hopes for an improved mood.
It didn’t really do anything, and he found himself having a hard time sleeping – waking up randomly during the wee hours of the morning.
When he stirs awake from his blaring alarm at 5:30, he’s nothing but adrift.
It feels weird when he goes to the kitchen and he doesn’t see you, as he expects you to be there in whatever worn up shirt from high school you still have, making toast or some quick breakfast – with your playlist playing from your phone – but you weren’t.
And Jungkook remembers that would be the case for another few days to come. Something he has to be okay with.
For the meantime.
He hopes.
Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often, but now, his friends are assuming he is. For the record, though, he is not drunk and they are just exaggerating. Sure, he’s staggering and he’s mixing up his syllables and grammar – but he swears he just feels a little woozy.
“Jungkook,” Doyeon calls him, laughing a bit. “Come on, Taehyung’s driving you home.”
“Don’t want to,” He says as he takes another swig of his fifth canned beer he’s been consuming since they all arrived at the barbecue place. “I can handle my alcohol.”
Which — fair. That’s not new news. But still—
“No shit, you have a shift tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Don’t be stubborn. It’s time to go home.”
“It’s fine, I’ll Uber back.”
Jungkook watches as Doyeon rolls her eyes.
“Are you really moping right now?”
He sends her a glare – one that she predictably does not take seriously. “‘M not moping. You’re moping.”
“And I’m Kate Bush. Taehyung, can you just drag Jungkook out of here? I think he’s gonna cry any minute now and the auntie is closing. We gotta go.” Nayeon butts in, and even though her words may seem harsh around the edges, she looks at Jungkook with a concerned gaze. The playful atmosphere from earlier now dissipating.
Jungkook appreciates the warmth that he gets from Nayeon’s gentle approach to everything – but right now, all it does is make him feel pitiful. Doyeon’s right. He is moping. Moping for something that should’ve been within his control in the first place.
“Man, you know you bench way more than me. I can’t carry you out all by myself if you’re all drunk and shit.” Taehyung nudges him on the shoulder, enough to make Jungkook move from his seat. He only grumbles.
Doyeon sighs. “What do you want, Jungkook? Call __? Tell her you’re getting wasted and come pick you up?”
Jungkook visibly flinches at the mention of you.
Ever since they arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook has noticed that his friends have been deliberately omitting your name in the conversation – until now, anyway. He thinks they all planned this spontaneous hang to “cheer him up” or whatever the fuck Taehyung said on their way here – which seemed like a slip-up, because Doyeon had hit the back of his head lightly right after saying it.
They’re walking on eggshells around him like he’s some kind of house of cards – one nudge and a blow and he comes crumbling down.
Jungkook hates getting doted on like this. It’s not like you two broke up. They just knew that you went to stay at your sister’s place for a while and you never said when you’re coming back. He hasn’t had any encounters with you at the hospital nowadays – you’re getting good at hiding from him and the rest of the gang, and every single day bleeds into countless sleepless nights. You’ve been gone for five days; no calls, or at least a text. And it seems like you deactivated your IG. You aren’t tweeting or reblogging shit on Twitter as well. You’ve gone completely silent – and with every waking moment that Jungkook spends a day without your presence, it feels like you’re slowly slipping through his fingers.
“No.” he glares at the three of them. Standing up, he feels his vision dancing at the sudden action.
Well. Maybe he is sort of drunk. A little.
“Hey, man, let’s go.” Taehyung ushers once again. This time, Jungkook acquiesces but with a groan. Nonetheless, he lets Taehyung wrap his arm around him to prevent him from tripping on his own feet.
When Jungkook manages to stand firm on the ground, he shuts his eyes tight to get a hold of himself and once again look at Doyeon and Nayeon who are still sitting by the table. With a confused expression, he asks, “Thought we’re all going?”
“Minhyuk will pick me up.” Nayeon says. Jungkook nods, directing his gaze to Doyeon.
“Somebody’s picking me up, too,” When Jungkook squints his eyes at her, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t start. Tae, drive safely, okay? You didn’t drink, right?”
Taehyung shakes his head and gives both women a reassuring nod before they head out of the building when goodbyes were bid, with Taehyung still pressing a hand on Jungkook’s back because he’s still a bit unstable on his feet. It’s not bad, though, Jungkook doesn’t think so. He just feels dizzy and shit, but it’s not anything water can’t solve.
Fuck, now he wants to get in bed as soon as possible. After a cold shower.
“Sorry, man.” he says as he plops down on the passenger’s seat, buckling the seatbelt around himself.
Taehyung comfortably settles on the driver’s seat, adjusting the rearview mirror a bit before starting the engine. But not after he responded to Jungkook with a snort, “It’s fine.”
It’s a quiet car ride and Jungkook can already feel his eyelids threatening to fall, the haze of sleep already clouding his mind. He can’t recall how far it takes from the restaurant to his complex, but soon enough, Taehyung’s voice wakes him up from his stupor.
“You okay there?”
Jungkook hums, leaning back to relax his nerves. A minute flies and he sighs loudly, making Taehyung look at him momentarily.
“Don’t sleep on me. Again, I am not willing to carry you all the way to your apartment, fucker.”
That makes Jungkook laugh, a snicker escaping past his lips. It makes Taehyung do the same, scoffing at his friend as he did so. The car ride continues into a stretched-out comfortable silence before Taehyung breaks it with a question of, “You two still haven’t talked?”
Jungkook stiffens at the mention, and he knows his friend notices the way he did, but he quickly tries to shake it off. “Yeah. She’s still at her sister’s.” Taehyung nods. When Jungkook looks at him, he decides to ask, “What ‘bout you? She reached out yet?”
“No.”
Jungkook inhales a sharp breath.
This is bad. You’re ignoring all your friends because of him.
“Sorry.” Jungkook says after a pregnant pause.
“What for?”
“Dunno. Feels like it’s all my fault,” a sigh escapes past his lips again. “You guys don’t deserve to get caught up in this.”
“Jungkook,” There’s a lilt to Taehyung’s voice that reminds Jungkook again that the man beside him is older than he is and sometimes, Taehyung can be way more mature, almost like an older brother. He forgets their age difference most of the time. “Don’t say that. __ just needs her time. She’ll come around.”
The smile Jungkook gives his way is bitter but it’s a smile, nonetheless.
“I don’t know, Tae,” He leans his head back on the seat, staring at nothing in particular. “It’s different this time.”
“You’ve fought before,” Taehyung points out. “How is this different?”
Jungkook does know what he’s trying to point out. He may be referring to the time in third year of med school when you didn’t talk to him for a month – but still. This, right now – whatever is happening – is far from what happened back then.
“Just different,” He shrugs, a poor attempt at nonchalance so Taehyung doesn’t think he’s being pathetic. “I feel like this is it.” Taehyung looks at him curiously when the red light turns on. It makes Jungkook squirm, but he voices out what he feels, anyway. “I’m losing her.”
That felt weird the moment it slips his tongue. For the past few days, it’s been in his head – making up the mess of his thoughts. When he said that, for once, it felt like finality. Like its verbalization actually made it real.
He does feel like he’s losing you. And it feels like the absolute truth.
“You can’t say that when you haven’t even talked to her, Jungkook,” Taehyung says and he says it so firmly. When Jungkook studies the older guy’s face, it’s etched with sincerity, especially when he adds, “Do you really think she’ll let go of an almost decade-long relationship just because of what happened? Frankly speaking, even if she does not feel the same way about you at all, I know her enough to know that she’ll have at least the decency to let you down properly. I think she’s just trying to think all of this through. She’ll talk when her head’s clear.”
Jungkook finds himself processing his words. You are exactly like that. You’re the type of person to need your personal space when you’re confronted by huge predicaments. When he thinks about it – you have so much on your plate. Mingyu, him, your relationship with each of them; Jungkook realizes things must be so hard for you right now, both emotionally and physically. And you’re dealing with all this while still showing up for your rotations.
“You’re right.” Jungkook whispers.
“Just… time, okay? You both need time.” Taehyung says and for once, Jungkook smiles a genuine one.
The light turns green, and Taehyung continues to drive.
Taehyung decided to turn up his jazz playlist and it eased Jungkook’s mind a bit. But it did lull him to sleep all the way to his apartment complex. Thankfully though, it only took Taehyung a few seconds of nudging him before he stirred awake, disoriented when he opened his eyes only to hear his friend say they were already there, ushering him out of his car.
He said his thanks to Taehyung, and his friend made sure to tell him to take it easy before he took off. When he was gone, Jungkook went straight to the elevator to press his floor, mind and body working on autopilot as he sauntered over the hallway to stop in front of his unit.
When the door opens, he feels a sense of calmness at the sight of his own place with everything at his disposal including the bathroom that he quickly head towards, not hesitating to strip himself naked on the way to the shower, letting his clothes form a heap on the threshold; bare and naked without a care in the world.
Stepping into the shower box, he turns the showerhead on, hissing at the cold water spraying onto his skin. He needed the cold to get rid of his sluggishness – and it works just as instantly as he’d hoped.
Both of his hands shoot up to brush his hair off his forehead, and he stays in that position for awhile; with the water running on his body and his head leaned back a bit, eyes closed as he relaxes.
He mindlessly reaches for his shampoo bottle, but when he opens the cap, he smells a completely different product. What welcomes him when he opens his eyes back again is the familiar sight of Bath and Body works bottle. Your water lily springs body wash.
Despite his current headspace, it brings a smile to Jungkook’s lips.
Right.
He’s noticed in the past few days that you left it in your shared bathroom. Considering all the things that you still have around the apartment, it didn’t really look like you packed a lot of things when you left – which should ease Jungkook’s mind. Still, though; the small size of your luggage and the quantity of what you brought with you do not matter when you still aren’t home.
And with that, Jungkook feels himself slipping back into… mulling again. And he can’t help but heave out a sigh.
He just… wants to rest for tonight. Just wants his head emptied out. Relax. He feels like he’s been on edge for the longest of time and he just needs some sort of – he’s not sure – comfort? Maybe something along the lines?
And as if his hand has a mind on its own, he grips the bottle of your body wash and squirts an ample amount on his palm, the scent of water lily springs surrounding the confined space of the shower immediately.
He lathers it all over his chest, inhaling the gentle waft and how it weirdly calms him from the inside. The room smells just like you. He smells just like you. And it isn’t the first time he’s doing this – he’s always liked the way you smelled, and he may have used your body wash by accident countless of times. Jungkook sometimes does it just to tease you – because you always point it out when you notice that he smells the same, and then you get all irritated and it makes Jungkook keen because you’re just so goddamn cute when you glare at him and when you get mean. Teasing you also means that you’d get mad enough to sulk at him, and that gives him the opportunity to make it up to you; and making it up to you means he gets all of your attention.
It’s pathetic but Jungkook’s not ashamed to admit that – just to himself, though. He likes when you give him attention, can you blame him?
His mind goes back to the memory of you cuddling with him on the ground at that random playground near your complex, how you snuggled up to his arm, giggling and threatening him to stop using your body wash. He remembers all the times you would cook together on nights when you’re both free – lounging on the couch mindlessly, either watching a show and debating over useless, stupid stuff – or when you would force him to rub your foot or massage your neck. Jungkook doesn’t relent until after you complain for a good five minutes. He’s gotten better at pretending overtime that he doesn’t look forward to touching any part of you.
At that thought, he recalls the way your back felt on his hands when he rubbed sunscreen all over it when you were at the resort. How the plane of your gorgeous skin felt so smooth to the touch, how you make him feel even with just the slightest baring of your skin.
Jungkook shuts his close when his mind goes into overdrive.
You. You. You and your bikini. You and your short shorts that might as well just be panties in disguise. You and those cute little, tight camisoles you always wear around the apartment. How he could just sometimes see the outline of your nipples where the thin material of your shirt clings to. How your bare legs look so good when you cross them while reading the paper on a Sunday morning by the kitchen island. How your breasts look like they could fit in Jungkook’s big palms with a bit of overspill – enough to drive him insane.
These are the thoughts in Jungkook’s head as he continues to lather the liquidy texture of your body wash all over his body – and when his hand finally nudges the dick in between his legs, he groans.
He’s not a stranger to getting off to the thought of you – you’re a gorgeous woman and it doesn’t really help the fact that he’s been in love with you for god knows how long – but it doesn’t mean that he does it guilt-free. He almost always feels like shit afterwards.
But he can’t help it. Not when you’re all over his head again. Not when he’s thinking about how good it would probably fucking feel if he could just have a taste of your plump lips. How it would feel if he could just suck on your neck, paint you with his love there, down to your cleavage then play with both of your tits with his hands – be greedy with it – get your nipples rock hard and pretty tight for him, suck and latch and nip and lick them, make sure it’s all wet before he goes down more south.
God. He thinks about it all the time. How’d it feel to go down on you. You’re so fucking pretty he could just imagine how gorgeous you would look down there, too. Were you the type to like getting eaten out? Jungkook hopes so. Because he would do everything to satisfy you. Fuck, he’d be so good to you. He’d tease your clit with his thumb first and you’d tell him that you’re aching for him bad – and he’d cave in and get his first taste with the flat of his tongue and fuck. You probably taste so good he’d crave it for days to come.
The next thing Jungkook knows, he’s holding the base of his cock firmly, feeling it getting harder every second. It grows in his hand as he continues to think about eating your pussy, imagining the sounds you’d let out, how you’d look extra beautiful getting fucked by his tongue. Shit. He’d do it so well if you just asked.
Jungkook traps his bottom lip with his teeth as he starts teasing his own cock, already in its full mass, hard and standing tall against his abdomen. He can see the shiny texture of his tip, precum leaking out, begging to be touched. He doesn’t wait any second to thumb the liquid off his head, letting out a half-sigh, half-hiss at how sensitive it felt, especially when he runs it over the veiny base.
Inhaling a sharp breath, Jungkook steps back a bit to cup his balls, squeezing it just enough to make him close his eyes. He repeats the motion of sliding his hand up and down his erect cock, feeling himself getting wetter at every second that passes.
He gets a picture of you on your knees, and as he pumps himself at a slow pace, he imagines it’s you instead kneading him. You have slender fingers and pretty nails, it would feel so much better if they were wrapped around his cock right now. Your nails would scrape against his length, and you’ve held hands enough times for Jungkook to know that his hand is significantly bigger than yours, so you probably won’t fit all of him in your hand – but that’s alright. You’d tease him on the tip instead, spread his precum all over, get him needing and wanting more.
Jungkook’s hips start to buck as he speeds up his pace, this time jacking himself harder as his mind jumps to more thoughts of you — but this time around, you’re not on your knees: you’re pressed on the glass wall of the shower box, your ass bent for all of him to caress and squeeze, and you’re craning your head to look at him with hooded eyes, lips parted into a gorgeous “o” as you beckon him to come closer and put his hard dick in your warm, tight, and aching pussy.
“Fuck.” Jungkook curses as he lets his forehead fall to the wall, resting there for a few good seconds, other hand scrambling to turn off the shower and quickly shutting his eyes close as he pictures himself thrusting into you instead of his stupid fucking hand.
“Shit, shit, shit—” He hisses, hand going faster around his length, pumping himself desperately to the thought of his dick sliding in and out of you.
Your moans would fill the tight room, and you’d sound so pretty. You’d be so pliant against the strong arm that he would wrap you with — and Jungkook would make sure to flick your nipples and fondle your breasts as he pounds into you from behind.
“Fuuuuck…”
He grunts and he moans, hand impossibly going faster — dick getting harder. He just wants a release. He wants to cum so bad — to kiss you and love you and have you say it back with the same earnestness as him.
Jungkook wants so badly to have you in his arms right after he eats you out, to cuddle with you and pretend like you have all the time in the world after he’s made sure to make love to every single inch of your body. To caress your hair and press a kiss on your head anytime he likes – because he’s allowed to. Because you love him. He just wants to be able to touch you in any way possible. Run his fingers over your back, kiss your cheeks, and your scrunched nose. Just wants to bury his face in your chest after a long day at work. Hold you tight against him. Have you close to him, whenever and wherever.
But he doesn’t have all that. He can’t have all that. Not when you don’t even feel the same. Not when you reacted that way when he told you he loves you more than just his best friend.
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. You’re not telling me the whole truth and frankly, I don’t believe you.”
Your words ring in his ears as he continues to jack himself.
The memory is still so vivid in his head — the surprised look on your face — certainly not the pleasant one. You were so… surprised. And angry. Like you didn’t believe any of what he said. Like you were trying hard to convince yourself that whatever you were hearing from him wasn’t true.
Because she doesn’t feel the same way. Jungkook thinks.
He remembers the night you left. How you could barely look him in the eyes.
“Shit—” Jungkook hisses as he squeezes his balls, hand pumping faster around his swollen cock. He closes his eyes as he tries to regulate his breathing, his stomach tightening at his impending release – and it’s the last thing he does in favor of his own sanity before his mind slips back again to life without you in it.
He would never have you. He can never be anything to you anymore.
He will never be, especially as he looks down at his hand on his cock.
How pathetic.
What would you think if you were to see him right now, getting himself off by imagining it’s you instead? You’d be so disgusted. You’d look at him like he’s a different person and feel betrayed because – how could the person you trust think about you like this?
There’s that sense of self-hatred again that Jungkook feels whenever he jacks off to you. That fear of you finding out and not liking it.
Jungkook tugs at his cock angrily as he thinks about all that, and he doesn’t notice that the stinging in the sides of his eyes would soon turn into tears running down his cheeks as he tries to reach his climax.
You would hate him so much. You don’t even like him anymore. Don’t even want to live with him anymore.
But he just wants to cum so bad. Just wants to feel some sort of clarity. Delude himself into basking in that quick dopamine.
He traps a sob in his throat as he makes quick work of his cock, and with one last squeeze around his tight balls, he shoots his hot cum to the wall, hips bucking at his orgasm.
Letting out a series of hushed curses, Jungkook continues to pump his cock for more until he feels sensitive, and his dick turns soft and languid against his legs.
He grabs the shower head to spray the cum off the wall, feeling the water already turning lukewarm. When he finishes cleaning his mess up, he grabs your body wash and exits the shower, throwing the bottle in the trash can with haste as if it burned him. As he turns back around, he catches sight of himself over the lavatory’s mirror.
There are dark circles under his eyes — not too visible — but they’re there. His eyes are red from crying, and suddenly his body itches. He should shower again and actually clean up this time.
But Jungkook realizes as he stares at himself again… he has never looked so tired. Not even in med school. Or during internship.
This whole thing is taking a toll on him – he knows that well by now. Even his friends do as well. He’s fucking up his sleeping schedule and he’s not even eating properly. He hits the gym not because he wants to but because it helps shut down his head.
Jungkook sighs.
He’s long accepted that the love he holds for you is so big it sometimes borders on piteous. He’s spent so many years going into this kind of phase where he just mulls over the same thing; that he loves you, but you will never ever feel the same way back.
And the thing is, he's always been okay with it. Jungkook loves loving you. He’d be a fool not to when he genuinely thinks that you were made to be loved.
But at this point, he just feels… tired.
Exhausted. Empty.
He wants to sleep. He wants to rest. He wants to wake up the next day and not feel like shit anymore.
Maybe Doyeon was right back at the villa.
It is time to move on.
And maybe… just maybe… unlike all the other times he’s attempted to do the same thing, this time around will be successful.
Your 7am to 2pm shift had just concluded when you arrived at your sister’s place, only to see them both all dolled up, ready to go out.
They told you that you could come with them if you liked, but of course you refused. You’re not the type to interrupt a date and they were certainly too in love for your liking. Don’t get you wrong, you love that for both – but you’re getting pretty sick of romance these days and you’re trying to avoid it as much as possible. Seokjin made sure to throw another one of his “Don’t mope around, okay? We have Macallan in the cupboards. You know the one.” jokes, though – having already known why you’re here in the first place – and your sister pinched his ear painfully enough for you to ignore and roll your eyes at him lightheartedly.
Which leads you to now, binge-eating a left-over tub of vanilla ice cream on a Sunday afternoon from last night’s impulsive purchase. You know it’s going to make you feel like shit later, but you can’t really bring yourself to care – not when the ice cream tastes too good paired with a Sex and The City episode.
You like to delude yourself you’re the early season Miranda; independent, boss bitch, career-driven, straightforward but kind. But you had a mortifying realization that maybe you’re actually Carrie. You’re both so obsessed with love and glorify the idea of “The One” that you overlook red flags in a guy just to stay in a relationship. And for what? To be completely broken and fucked over in the end of it all.
But you don’t want to be Carrie – sure, she has a special place in your heart as a fictional character but real-life Carries, with all of their delusions and ideals, are not meant for the real world.
“You’re watching that show again?”
You almost fall over the couch when you hear a familiar voice behind you, and when you crane your neck to look who it was, your eyes widen.
“Mom!” you exclaim, rightfully surprised. Your mother – in the flesh – smiles as she sees you grin. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you’d be here— wait, how’d you get inside?”
She waves you off. “You know your sister and Jin gave me a duplicate key to their place. Anyway, I’m just here to drop off some side dishes. Also, I know what you’ve been up to. And stop eating that ice cream.”
You pout, taking the tub away from you. When you see her walk towards the kitchen with her bags – presumably the side dishes she was talking about – you follow behind her steps, helping her load the containers in the fridge.
“What do you mean you know what I’ve been up to?”
“You and Jungkook fought, I heard.”
“Mom,” you say with a tone that tells her you don’t want to talk about it at all.
“You know I’m going over there shortly to give him these, right? Supposed to be for the both of you, but oh well, you’re lounging around here.” She says.
“I’m not lounging around here. They love that I’m here.” You counter, referring to your sister and Seokjin. It almost sounded like a whine, though, more than anything. But it was true! They like you being here! They’ve always treated you like their child… but you know you’re kind of pushing it with your sixth-day-stay.
Your mother looks at you disapprovingly, loading the last container before shutting the fringe doors shut.
“Whatever you’re fighting about, you know avoiding it is not going to make it better.”
You sigh. “I’m not even sure if we’re fighting, anyway.”
“What’s that mean?” Your mom asks, sounding confused. You can imagine.
“I don’t know… just – I don’t think we’re angry at each other.”
“Not being angry at each other is worse than being angry at each other. That sounds like withdrawal.”
You wince at her words. “Maybe.”
Your mom sighs. She takes out a bit from the container of stir-fried zucchini and slides you both a plate. “Have you been eating real food? You look like you’re not eating properly.”
Teenager and college you would’ve rolled your eyes because she always says that you’re losing weight and blah blah blah, but it’s not even true. However, you do know she’s just concerned, though, and so you nod your head, picking up a zucchini and eating it.
“Yes. Jin’s a good cook.”
She nods, eating as well. “So is Jungkook. He hasn’t talked to you at all?”
You thought you’ve dodged the topic of Jungkook completely but apparently your mom’s still on that. You nibble on your bottom lip as you think what to say.
“He… uhm… he didn’t text or call.” Well. There was one time. Two days ago. And it was just a simple text about informing you of the sudden change in the OR schedule. You replied to it with a thanks and a smiley face, but he didn’t say anything after that — not that your thanks should guarantee anything. That was not exactly a conversation starter.
Still.
“Have you talked to him?”
Shoot.
You shake your head a bit.
The truth is that you can’t be sad about Jungkook not reaching out when you haven’t been doing the same thing either. You’re running away from him – you can admit that. The past week hasn’t been your proudest moment. You’ve thought it over countless times; why you just can’t go ahead and speak to him – because heck, for eight years you’ve always done a good job at it, communicating with each other when things went wrong. Like when he teases you too much and you actually get offended, and the same goes for him.
But what happened wasn’t just something that came out of a supposedly lighthearted banter. It wasn’t your usual banter at all.
“What happened, sweetie?” And this time your mom’s voice is bordering on concern.
You don’t look at her when you say, “Jungkook said he’s in love with me.”
You don’t get a reaction. At least – the reaction you were expecting. You thought she would gasp, or at least let out an, “Oh”, but there’s none of that. When you peer up at her, she just nods.
As if the news was no surprise.
“And I take it didn’t go well?” She looks at you gently.
“N-no,” you stammer. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “It was – it was so messy that day, mom. You know we went to that resort for his birthday, right? He and my boyfriend fought, and just – so much happened. I don’t even remember half of it. Just that he told me he’s been in love with me for the past eight years.”
Your mom nods. “Your boyfriend… is that Mingyu?”
“Yes.” It feels weird to call him your boyfriend now. You used to be so giddy calling him that. But right now, it feels almost icky.
“Why did Jungkook and him fight?”
You told her what Jungkook told you – everything, and your mom is sweet almost all of the time but as she listens to everything that Mingyu supposedly did and say – especially about you – she can’t help but knit her brows in that quiet anger you know all too well now. But it soon dissipates to worry.
She steps closer to you. You look at her with a sad smile. With that, she encloses her arms around you, and you let your chin fall on her shoulder as you reciprocate her hug. You almost cry when she squeezes you. “How are you feeling then, sweetie?” She asks, voice so gentle and soft. Comforting. You think this has been what you needed all this time.
“Like shit.” you chuckle. “I’ve never been so tired. I haven’t even talked to Mingyu yet – I haven’t been talking to anybody, even my friends. I don't know why I’m like this.”
“You know I worry for you.”
“Hm?”
“You’re such a lovely, sweet girl. And these men keep breaking your heart. I wish I can ease your pain, honey. You have the biggest heart in the world.”
You nibble on your bottom lip as you feel that stinging in your eyes at her words. You remember Jungkook saying almost the exact same thing.
“Jungkook told me that sometime ago.” you say, holding back the cry you know is coming out any second now.
“He knows you well.” She says as she caresses your head.
“I just…” you let out a sigh again, trying to shake off the oncoming tears. “When he told me he loved me all this time, I said I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.”
“Do you think he would lie about something like that?”
It’s firm and final when you say, “No.” Because you know in your heart that was true. Jungkook is anything but a liar. And especially about something like that… you just don’t think he would ever hurt you intentionally. That’d be cruel and Jungkook was never cruel. It’s just not in his nature.
“Hm. Then is it because you don’t feel the same way at all? That’s why you can’t believe it?” Your mom asks and it’s the most groundbreaking question you’ve ever heard after a while.
Do you just… not feel the same way?
That was definitely the biggest question you’ve been avoiding answering.
But as your mom pushes you slightly so she can look at you earnestly, gently, like she has no expectations whatsoever – just here to hold and comfort you – it beckons you into spilling your emotions.
“I… I really don’t know, mom.” You intake a sharp breath. “He’s been a constant presence in my life for eight years. We’ve never– we’ve never considered the possibility of being more than just friends. I– I don’t know why he would love me. Or fall for me. He’s never shown interest, the way I saw it – but these days I’ve been rethinking that and I’m beating myself over for being stupid because it’s like – how could I have not known? He’s always been so caring towards me. Always makes time for me. He’s never let me down and he’s just – he’s my person, mom. Always has been. And how could I have thought that he didn’t mean for that to come off as purely platonic?” you stop, feeling your lips wobble. “It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is that these days without him have been so painful, especially when we haven’t properly talked. I miss him everyday and it kills me that we aren’t like before right now. I want to be by his side all the time, and I think I may have taken that for granted for the past eight years we’ve known each other.”
You don’t realize you’ve let out so much, but your mom just lets you snuggle closer to her, knowing that you’re feeling a lot right now. And you do. You haven’t talked to anyone about what you really felt – not even your sister, even though you knew she did her best to do so – but as your mom soothes your back with the gentle rub of her hand, you let yourself be comforted.
“You know what I think, honey?”
You look up at her with teary eyes, nodding weakly.
She gives you a small smile. “Do you remember that time when I thought he was your boyfriend when you brought him for Christmas?”
Nodding, you chuckle. Second year of med school it was. Eunwoo was in Switzerland for a a big project – and Jungkook’s parents weren’t in town. You both didn’t have anybody to celebrate Christmas with and so you ended up asking Jungkook to come home with you.
It wasn’t just your mom who thought he was your boyfriend. Your sister and Seokjin also assumed the same thing.
Around that time, you haven’t introduced Eunwoo to them yet so basically, they didn’t know that you were taken already.
“I think this is just me being old… but you kind of… you get to know these things, __. You’ll see somebody's eyes, they way they gaze at somebody. When we were opening those gifts during Christmas eve, I saw the way that kid looked at my daughter with so much adoration that I even thought you were just being coy about him being your boyfriend.”
Your lips curl into a tight line.
You… certainly did not notice any of that. Did that really happen?
“I think Jungkook’s a good man, and your dad is fond of him – he asked me yesterday if you’re gonna bring him for Thanksgiving or Christmas, he misses his chess buddy, it seems. No pressure, though,” your mom chuckles. “But Jungkook’s smart, kind, polite, works hard, really charming—” you laugh again, despite yourself, because that’s definitely true. He charmed your parents so quickly with ease. It’s just really about his pleasant personality that attaches people to him. “But most especially, he makes you really happy. I liked that Jaehyun guy and Eunwoo because they made you happy when you were together. Up until they didn’t. I only like people who are good to you, sweetie. That was why I liked your ex-boyfriends for a while,” She begins caressing your head again and you feel like a little girl again, finding comfort in your mom’s bedroom after a bad day at middle school. Your mom smiles softly before she continues, “But those men hurt you. And they leave you. And you know who hasn’t in the past eight years? The only one who’s been consistent in making you happy?”
It’s Jungkook. He’s always been under your nose while you cried over other men, and he was there to support you through it all. He’s the one who makes you laugh at his stupid jokes. The one who sits with you in your feelings on days when you don’t feel your best. He’s the one who lets you cry on his shoulder when a surgery doesn’t go well, the guy who would drop everything for you with one text or call, the guy who gifts you stupid, stupid random things because they reminded him of you. He’s the guy who shares his playlists with you, comments silly stuff on your equally silly posts, and he’s the only one who has never, ever made you feel like you’re not enough. He’s the only one who has never left and hurt you.
It’s always been Jungkook.
Your mom doesn’t need to say the name, though, just one look at you and she knows you're thinking the same thing.
It’s during midday at the hospital when you see Jungkook again.
The elevator dinged and the doors finally opened on your floor, but you froze in your position when you saw who was inside the whole time.
It was Jungkook, sitting slightly on the handrails while crossing his arms. His posture straightened for a bit as he met your eyes, looking equally surprised as you. But then he recovered and relaxed in his position just as quickly.
You couldn’t read the look on his face.
Taking a hold of yourself before the door automatically closes, you stepped a foot inside the lift and pressed on the button of your floor immediately. The 7th floor button is lightened up, so you assumed Jungkook was gonna get off earlier than you since you were going down on the sixth floor.
The confined space had never felt more suffocating. You could feel there was something in the air – a thick tension that was getting too hard to bear every second you felt the elevator moving down.
There was a lump that formed in your throat, especially when you caught a glimpse of the reader going floors down fast, and the 7th one was nearing.
Your heart beat erratically against your chest. You didn’t even feel that nervous back in the OR twenty minutes ago.
But you figured it was the first time you felt close, after all.
It was funny, really – what you felt at that moment. Being physically close to Jungkook had never made you feel like that – like you’re on edge – you’ve always just approached it as something natural, like you were meant to be that way. And those times, you never really thought about the contact ending.
But in that moment, it felt like he was slipping away – even though you were not even holding him in the first place.
It was probably why you let out your next words, craning your neck to the side to try and look behind you where you knew Jungkook was at.
“I miss you.”
You barely said it. Felt like just a soft whisper as the words slipped past your lips, but there was a break around its edges – like it was the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever said.
It was.
And you didn’t exactly know why you did it.
Maybe you just wanted him to know. Maybe you just wanted him to understand that… that you were still there. And that you missed him. Every single day. Regardless of what happened.
There was a thick silence that hung in the air after that, and you should’ve taken back your words right after they came out. Embarrassment should’ve clouded you by then. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.
That was as honest as you could get.
You didn’t even expect a reply – assuming that maybe Jungkook hadn’t heard it.
But you heard the soft tap of his steps on the floor and felt his overwhelming presence coming near you. And just like that, you knew he was behind you. Close. A hair's breadth away.
Then, you hear him let out a soft sigh, and you could feel his breath brush against your ear as he leaned down. You never realized how much you craved his affection until you felt him slightly nudging his cheek against the crown of your head.
It made you keen. Made you shut your eyes close. Basking in the moment, but you didn’t ignore the pain that it caused.
Because somehow, despite what might seem like a sweet gesture – the whole thing felt like goodbye.
It was so intimate, though, that you almost forgot that you were currently on the 8th floor and he was dropping off on the next.
The elevator dinged like a wake-up call. And when you opened your eyes, Jungkook had already peeled his body away from you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you fought the urge to cry as you saw him walking out.
Before the door closed, he took one look at you. His mouth opened, as if wanting to say something. You waited. But he closed his lips again, not bothering to look back for even one last time before the elevator doors closed in front of your face.
The interaction left a certain melancholy in your heart, and it made you run on auto-pilot when the elevator stopped on your floor.
You never expected for the encounter to happen – but it did, in its own way. And now you have to deal with the consequences of your impulsive actions.
Your mindless walking has led your feet to somewhere a bit secluded. It’s far across the hall, and you recognize it as some old, empty ward. You and your friends have one on the 5th floor but you don’t think you’ve never really been here before and so you weren’t sure.
But you’re desperate to let out a good cry. Maybe not exactly cry – but just be alone for awhile. The hospital and your schedule are busy enough as they are and it’s enough to keep your mind occupied since the morning – but that interaction with Jungkook at the elevator reminded you of the weight that you’ve been carrying lately and you just… want to dissipate a little. Even if it means sacrificing your three-minute lunchtime.
You don’t suspect anything as you twist the doorknob open – surprise to see it’s not locked like you thought it would be.
And the sight leaves your mouth hanging open.
“Oh my god.”
“What the fuck.”
“Shit!” You watch as Doyeon pushes off the man wearing a white lab gown on top of her – a very familiar figure that you can only recognize as none other than the attending surgeon Dr. Kim Namjoon.
A panicked, “I’m sorry!” leaves your mouth before you turn on your heel, ready to fly off the scene when you hear Doyeon’s voice calling you from behind.
“Wait, __!”
You hesitantly look back.
It’s obvious what they were doing before you entered the room. Doyeon’s hair is unusually out of the ponytail she always shows up to work with, and Dr. Kim… Jesus. He’s always been so intimidating to you – with his tall stature and his aura that reeks so much of authority, even though he doesn’t even try, it feels so fucking weird to suddenly see him with his hair all mussed up when it always looks kempt every single time you see him along the hallways of the hospital. Right now, he looks coy, like he’s shrinking himself as he avoids looking at you.
“Dr. __, I am so deeply sorry,” His apology sounds so remorseful that you feel bad for even having to barge in. You can see Dr. Kim fumbling with his coat as he looks at Doyeon like he’s looking for help. Doyeon looks at him, but she just… rolls her eyes.
“Joon, just–” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes close. Seemingly agitated. Or embarrassed. You don’t know why you’re still here. “You should leave now, I’ll talk to __.” Doyeon lets her gaze fall back to you and your eyes widen at the declaration, not really knowing if she was serious or not.
You mean… what are you even going to talk about? Sure! You’re shocked as fuck to see them together in that position but you’re not about to ask her about her sex life!
… Okay. So maybe you are a little bit (only a little) curious about that.
Dr. Kim has always been a mystery to all of you. Taehyung and Jungkook admire him so much, the latter lowkey idolizes him at this point. Nayeon has always spoken highly about him and you’re literally a fan of all his work in his field, especially his books. It doesn’t help that he’s attractive as hell, too, and you all may have gossiped about him at one point in your lives – so sue you for being curious! You’re just human.
“You sure?” Dr. Kim says, barely spoken, but you don’t miss the gentle way he holds Doyeon’s shoulder as he asks that, the way his face contorts into a concerned expression when he looks down at her. One quick interaction and you instantly realize that oh… this is serious.
They’re not just having casual sex in this ward.
This is Doyeon’s boyfriend.
Your bestfriend nods at him and you step aside to give Dr. Kim some space to leave the room, still visibly stunned. You thought he was going to leave when he utters another apology again.
“__, I’m really sorry about this behavior. Doyeon and I—”
Doyeon groans. “Joon, oh my god. It’s fine.”
You watch as Dr. Kim’s (who Doyeon apparently calls “Joon”— what the hell) lips fall into a thin line. “Fine. I’ll go. We’ll talk about this later, alright?”
“I know.”
He gives you both one last glance before the door closes on you.
You swear you tried to look for cameras everywhere – like they do in The Office – to see if the whole thing was a prank. But no. Your life’s unfortunately not a sitcom.
“I told him to lock the door earlier,” Doyeon starts, sounding defeated as she falls back on one of the emergency beds. Sighing, she covers her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing.”
At that, you can’t help but react immediately.
“You’re embarrassed about the fact that you’re fucking an insanely stupid hot, intelligent man?” Your brows knit.
Doyeon looks at you and you both stare at each other. She holds her own, like she usually does, but for the first time ever, she breaks and chuckles. The laughter turns hilarious, and you follow her into the bed.
“God,” she utters. She licks her bottom lip and looks at you shyly. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
“I mean… what did you mean to do instead?”
She hesitates. “I’m not sure.”
You frown. “So, you just… you just weren’t going to tell me? Us?” You didn’t bother to hide the tone of disappointment in your words. Doyeon looks a little ashamed when you verbalized that.
“It’s not that. I just didn’t know how,” She says. You knit your brows in confusion. “You know I’ve always been… private about my dating life or whatever. I don’t tell you guys I’m dating until I’m sure the guy and I are official. I… I don’t even date a lot in the first place.”
Well… that was true. You nod at her, giving her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I get that.” Doyeon smiles a little. “How long?”
There’s a pregnant pause before she says, “Uh… since Feb?”
“Jesus.” She winces at your reaction. You stare at her with your jaw slack. “What the fuck, Doyeon? Nine months?”
“Well, technically, eight but—” you look at her dryly and Doyeon gives up on her attempt at being facetious. “Okay. I’m sorry. It just happened.” You raise your brow at her. She sighs. “Okay, so we may have hooked up last year in December. You remember the Christmas party at the Ritz?”
Your mouth just hangs wider, looking at her incredulously. Every drop of information she lets out just grows your surprise bigger, and you have nothing in substance to say except, “You… whore.”
Doyeon laughs so loud you worry it might have been heard from the outside, but you wince at the slap that follows on your shoulder as she giggles nonstop.
“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.”
“No– I just– Oh my god, was that the reason why you bailed on our own Christmas party over at Nayeon’s?” She nods at your question with her lips pursed. You scoff, still not believing it but just overall amused in general. “You’re really throwing me a curveball here, babe. Like – I have never ever heard you talking about Dr. Kim except when you said you’d totally fuck him in that one drinking session. And then, you actually fucking did.”
She rolls her eyes, scoffing. “He started asking me out on dates in January and he asked me to be his girlfriend in Feb. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did,” She shrugs, as if she just said that the skies are blue. “I’m pretty good at hiding, huh?”
You don’t hide the way you instantly frown.
“I’m happy for you, Doyeon, I really am. But… did you not feel like you could tell me? Or any of us?”
At least she looks apologetic, nibbling on her bottom lip before she says, “It’s not that, __. I didn’t know how to tell you guys. There’s this – there’s this thing when you date a co-worker, especially in the hospital. He’s an attendant, and he’s about to be chief of surgery next two months, you know that right? And it’s just— I know you will never think it, or the rest of our friends – but I just. I didn’t want anyone to think that I’m… that I’m sleeping my way here, you know? It’s fucking weird. And Ms. Yan from fuckass HR hates me for some reason. I’d be public enemy number one around here, __.”
You wince hearing her explanation. Nodding, you rub her shoulder to offer some kind of comfort, noticing that she’s actually silently fuming just by the mere thought of that. Meaning she must have been thinking about it for quite some time now.
“But you know we’ll never think of it like that, right?” You confirm with her, just to be sure. You love Doyeon – she’s basically your sister at this point – and you don’t ever want her to feel like she can’t trust you.
“Of course. I don’t… I can’t really offer you any explanation other than I got scared and just wasn’t ready. Joon wants to let people know… and I don’t know. I guess I’m thinking about that too nowadays.” She says, and she’s not really looking at you anymore, seemingly deep in thought.
You begin rubbing her back. “It’s fine if you’re not ready yet.”
“Oh, this is getting kind of mushy. I hate it.” Doyeon says dryly. You push her slightly which sends her sideways a bit, earning a laugh from her.
“Joon, huh?” You decide to tease to lighten up the mood. Instead of backing down and getting shy like you expected, Doyeon raises her brow. “Can I be honest with you, though?” You say, fiddling with your fingers. She nods so you tread lightly to your next words. “This will sound crazy, I know, but for the longest time I thought Jungkook was your secret boyfriend.”
“What the fuck?” Doyeon says, sharp and almost… disgusted. You don’t expect such a reaction.
“Okay, you don’t need to sound so disgusted. Jungkook’s a good-looking guy and he’s very decent.” You say, sounding weirdly defensive – even to your own ears.
“No– that’s not what I meant—” Doyeon cuts herself off with a laugh. “That’s actually really funny, though.” You look at her curiously. “Somehow, I thought about you thinking that. Especially after that time at the villa when you walked in on us talking by the pool deck.”
“I…” you try to come up with an excuse, something to deny her claim, but nothing comes, and your eyebrows knit in confusion because you actually don’t know yourself why you felt that way back then. You still remember the weird feeling that flared up in your chest upon seeing them in such an intimate position — with Jungkook’s head on Doyeon’s stomach and her caressing his head. Maybe you’re more malicious than you let on, but can she really blame you for thinking there was more to that? Besides, Jungkook’s second closest in the group is probably her. It made sense to assume they were secretly together.
“God, don’t,” Doyeon says incredulously. “Obviously, he’s not my secret boyfriend. I don’t like him and he does not like me, at least not that way. That man only has heart eyes for you and I’m only into Namjoon, thank you very much.”
You wince. “Sorry.”
“But were you really jealous that time, though?” Doyeon asks, intrigued. “I mean, I thought about it. You were acting weird. But I kind of just shrugged it off.”
“I was not jealous, what the hell,” you quickly say. “I was just surprised. And you’re both really close, so I don’t know.”
Doyeon arches her brow. “You’re also both close, so going by that logic, are you two together?” You frown at her. She laughs, knowing she proved her point. “Alright, enough about that. How have you been these days?”
You stare at her before sighing.
“I’ve been wanting to say sorry.”
“Damn straight,” she tells you immediately, like she’s been looking forward to it. “Like, you bitch– I thought you died. Not talking to me or to anybody for a week is crazy.”
“It’s not my proudest moment.”
“Why?”
You subtly inhale a shaky breath. “I… to be honest? I thought you guys were mad at me.”
“What?” You can hear the incredulous tone Doyeon’s taking on. And you slowly realize that you completely just conjured a whole ass narrative in your head the whole time.
“I know. I feel terrible about it. But I just… I couldn’t help but think that I ruined… things.”
“Oh…” Doyeon says, and she cranes her neck down to meet your gaze as you’re tucking your head down slightly. “Why did you think that?”
You open your mouth and close it, trying to find the right words.
“I… know I was completely being ambitious when I said I wanted to bring Mingyu along to the trip – and I realize I shouldn’t have done that. Our relationship was still so fresh, and I was already bringing him along to what was supposed to be our vacation. And the fight happened and the whole thing just went to complete shit. We didn’t even get to spend our five nights there because you guys had to book us a flight immediately and I just… I guess I just feel so bad about it. Had I not invited him… the trip would’ve been way more different. Happier, that I’m sure of.”
“__,” Doyeon calls your name firmly. “That was not any of your fault. Sure, you should’ve consulted with us – because I’m not gonna lie, you threw us in for a surprise when you said that Mingyu was coming, but that fight was not your fault. At all. They physically fought each other on their own accord, even though they knew they were already too grown to be doing that shit. Don’t feel guilty about what those men did.”
You bite your lip. “Still. They— uhm. They apparently fought because of me. It’s stupid.”
“Exactly. But… Mingyu kind of deserved it. Sorry.” Doyeon comments.
You wince. “You know?”
“Jungkook told us about it, yeah.” Doyeon says, as if hesitant to even mention his name in the conversation.
You sigh. You’re not really surprised. “Did he… did he tell you guys… everything?”
“He did.” Doyeon confirms. “It’s not actually new news for us, __.”
You look confuse when you meet her gaze. “How do you mean?”
She presses her lips into a thin line. “He’s in love with you. We’ve known for a while,” You stare at her, mouth agape. Doyeon reluctantly adds, “Since med school.”
“Oh.” You close your eyes for a moment. “Even Nayeon?”
She nods. “Yes.”
You’re silent for a while before you look away. Nodding, you whisper, “I see,” You sigh. “I don’t even… I’m not even surprised about that. Even my mother knows — I mean, Jungkook didn’t tell her of course, but she said she knew he had feelings for me.”
“I think… everybody knows, __.” Your eyes fall to Doyeon. She gives you a gentle smile. “Everybody who sees the way Jungkook looks at you immediately knows right away. He doesn’t have to tell someone he likes you for them to know that. Taehyung and I figured it out ourselves as well. And then Nayeon met you both and she did the same thing. Just had to fish out the confirmation from Jungkook himself.”
“That’s…” you trail off, not really knowing what to say. “I’m really stupid for not noticing all this time, huh?”
“Hmm… maybe. Sort of. But also, not really. I guess it must’ve been just different for you. We’re just bystanders of your interactions — when Jungkook teases you like a fucker it’s easy to assume he’s flirting with you, but it must’ve been annoying as hell for you.”
You chuckle a bit. But it’s with fondness as you agree, “Yeah…”
“He sucks ass at flirting.”
“I agree…” you trail off. “I – well, you probably know, but I told him I don’t believe him,” Doyeon hums, listening in. “I regret saying that. It really hurt him. But… who can blame me, Doyeon? I mean, am I not right for having doubts? Being confused? I mean, okay, yes, I was taken for the first four years we knew each other but I was— I was available two years ago and he didn’t— he didn't do anything. Why didn’t he do anything?” The words are coming off as a rant, you’re fully aware, but you let yourself go, anyway. “He was dating all those women and I just… how am I supposed to believe him when I thought he showed me the opposite?”
“You mean how were you supposed to believe him when he sleeps around?”
You shut your eyes close. “I don’t– I don’t necessarily think he sleeps around, okay? Jungkook’s not a fuckboy or someone who sleeps with anyone with a pulse. He’s too grown for that shit. But I… I just meant, that… he dated a lot all throughout the time we knew each other, so where was I in the equation? You know what I mean?”
Doyeon stares at you for a bit, then she nods, looking ahead. “I know what you mean.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. Then, “Are you worried he’s not sincere about his feelings? Because he dated a lot of people?”
“I-I’m not sure about that.” But maybe, that thought bothers you a bit.
“When was the last time he was with somebody?”
You don’t mean to sound defensive when you retort back with, “I wouldn’t know that. Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook and I do not actually talk about everything, and that includes our sex lives, but I know when he’s… seeing somebody.”
“How?” Doyeon asks, looking at you. She wasn’t trying to trick you into anything, just genuine curiosity written all over her face.
You shy away from her gaze. “Four months ago… Nayeon’s engagement party. He was checking that woman out.”
“Oh… Kwon Jihyo?”
Your brows furrow. “You know her?”
Doyeon nods. “Yeah. Physio class back in freshman year. I talked to her at the party as well,” you grow more confused and Doyeon adds, “Also, she’s gay. Married with two kids.”
“Oh.”
That earns a chuckle from Doyeon. Tapping your arm, she tells you, “You don’t have a gay radar, it’s fine.”
“Oh my god…” you slap a hand on your forehead. “I teased him about sleeping with her after the party…”
You’ve always seen Jungkook as a regular ladies man in your head due to the fact that he gets women, quite very easily. Empirically, Jungkook goes on a lot of dates. But to be completely honest with yourself, you don’t even know the extent of those said dates. Jungkook doesn’t exactly oppose it when you lightheartedly tease him about being a playboy, but you do notice when that puts him off a bit.
Maybe you should’ve pried – maybe he gets put off because it’s simply not true? But you don’t think it’s not not true either, so… do you really think he sleeps around?
“Look,” Doyeon suddenly says which makes you look at her, snapping you out of your own messy thoughts. “I’m not trying to defend him or put in a good word for him or whatever. But I do know that you know him better than I do, so I’m sure you don’t actually think he isn’t sincere about his feelings for you. If you’re worried about his dating history, talk to him about that – but if we’re going by technical definition here, I don’t think Jungkook sleeps around, __. He doesn’t have a new woman switched out for another every seven business days, does he? Or is that a wrong assumption—”
“God, no,” you roll your eyes at her. “And anyway, why are we talking about this? I don’t care who he has sex with. He can do whatever he wants. He’s a grown man.”
“Yeah… but you just said it’s sort of the reason why you’re holding back.”
You feel blood rushing to your cheek because… that is true. You don’t even know why. Because you stand for what you said that he can do whatever the hell he wants. He’s young and he’s objectively attractive and he can have sex whenever he wants…
But somehow, that very thought — of Jungkook being with anybody that way, suddenly made a weird feeling flare up in your chest. You’ve never really paid it mind before, but right now that you now know what you know…
“It just kind of hurts a bit, I guess.” You say, not looking at Doyeon. “I mean, it’s irrational, really. I don’t expect him to be celibate for the eight years he’s claimed to love me, that’s just insane. I’ve also had sex with other people throughout the time and it would be unfair of me to dwell on the fact that he’s been with other people in the past when I also have but… it’s just… you know…” you trail off, and you feel like you’re gonna burst with so much embarrassment from the thoughts running through your head.
“I know… what?” Doyeon says, trying to fill in the gaps.
“I guess I just…” you swallow the lump in your throat. “I guess…. I guess I just expected him to want only me.”
“Oh.” you look at Doyeon. “Oh wow. That’s…”
You huff. “It’s childish, I know. It’s so stupid – I can’t think that. It’s unfair for him.”
Doyeon shakes her head. “No, I mean, I get that. I get that completely,” She scoots closer to you. “You have to know, though, that for the past eight years, Jungkook has tried many times to move on from you.” That words felt like a bucket of cold water. He’s tried…? Doyeon gives you a small smile when she notices the way your face fell. “It was really tough for him when you and Eunwoo got serious, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried seeing other people, in the hopes that they could make him feel what he does for you. He didn’t do that in vain – like he did it maliciously in hopes that you would get jealous or whatever. He did that – he does that – because he also genuinely wants to be with someone who can reciprocate his feelings. Min Sora was really close… but I don’t really know what happened to that. I’ve assumed since then that he must still probably love you. And he still apparently does, even to this day. I’m not saying all of this in favor of him, okay? But do you not want to give him a chance because of that? He really loves you, __. He admires you a lot. You don’t know how much he’s just in awe of you. He talks about you a lot when you’re not around, and he’d ditch just about anything to get to you with one call. Look… I don’t know what you feel, and at the end of the day, you call the shots. But I think he’s worth it, __. Because I know him as well and everybody knows he’ll treat you right. You just gotta give him the chance.”
You take in Doyeon’s words carefully.
“That’s not really the only thing I’m skeptical about,” you sigh. “Him having slept with other people is not the top of my concern, because we weren’t in any relationship. Again, I couldn’t have expected him to be celibate all this time. What I’m really worried about is the fact that he’s so— he’s so important to me, Doyeon. I’ve known him for eight years and he’s… he’s quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me—” you stop for awhile because you feel your voice breaking, just in time when the sides of your eyes sting with precedent tears. But you can’t cry right now. You’ve done that a lot in the past few days. “And if— and if I do feel the same, and then we do this thing, what if it all goes wrong? I don’t – I can’t really bear the thought of him not present in my life. I have never considered that ever since I’ve known him. I’m so lucky with my friendships but my romantic relationships all suck. They’re shit. And I don’t want to have a shit romantic relationship with Jungkook, because that would mean I’d lose him. And I don’t want to lose him… do you— do you get me, Doyeon? I’m so scared. Because there's this part of me that wholeheartedly believes what he said, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s in denial because I can’t stop thinking about things going wrong.”
“Hey,” Doyeon gently calls, and you don’t realize that you’ve been holding back a sob because the moment she scoots closer, arm circling your back, you bury your face in her chest and let out a quiet cry. She cradles your head, and you close your eyes at that. “What if things don’t go wrong, though? What if it works out?”
You sniffle. “But things always go wrong for me and my boyfriends. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but they just never end well.”
Doyeon lets out a heavy breath. “I completely understand that. Again, you know Jungkook better than I do. Better than anybody I know, really. You would know exactly what he’s capable of – and that includes the possibility of him hurting you, or the lack of it thereof. It’s really your choice, __. Just… just talk to him, okay? He’s been wanting to, but you’re not reaching out and he said he didn’t want to suffocate you or anything like that.”
You quickly perk up at that. “He said that?” Doyeon nods. It makes your shoulders deflate. “But… but we were in the elevator today and he…”
“He what?”
“He… uhm… well I said something stupid,” you wince, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “I said I miss him, but he didn’t – I don’t know. He didn’t say anything,” Nibbling on your bottom lip anxiously, you look at Doyeon reluctantly, gauging her reaction. “I think he actually hates me now.”
Doyeon is quiet for a moment before she speaks. “You just… you really have no clue how much he loves you, huh? You can kill a close relative of his and he’ll make excuses for you, I don’t doubt that even for a second,” She says and for a moment you’re a bit offended because you’re getting kind of tired of people pointing out that Jungkook being into you is obvious like how the grasses are green, but Doyeon shakes her head, face in pure disbelief. And you just know she didn’t mean it that way. She genuinely looks baffled. “You really need to talk, __. This is… it really hurts seeing you both like this."
You tuck your head down. “I’m thinking about it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I think… I’m going back to our place tonight. But I’m not sure. I’ll probably chicken out last minute.”
Doyeon pats your arm. “Do it, okay? Just be honest with yourself and to him. You both need that.”
You give her a small, weak smile.
You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place. Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment.
It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon yesterday, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s an urge at the sides of your eyes to cry.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that nobody is at home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him did not exactly go as well as you’d like.
He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. As you leave your phone on the counter, you notice the to-go container from Chipotle on the same surface, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it.
So Jungkook is home.
The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick?
You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on the screen of Jungkook’s macbook.
The tab that shows is an apartment listing website, and besides are more tabs that show some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to on the internet before when you were looking for a place.
It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-apartment bedrooms and studio apartments.
Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight.
What does this mean?
“Oh, hey,”
The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand.
“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. Your heart feels like it’s somersaulting for some reason at the sight of him.
But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you.
“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and there’s a twinge in your heart that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, that felt intentional.
But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace. If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the highchairs on the island and plug in his charger for his laptop.
Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh... you just got off from your shift?”
“Yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit.
“Nah, got off a few hours ago.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Yeah.”
You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air.
It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing you can say to one another.
It breaks your heart that’s the current case.
“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself.
How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him.
Jungkook seems surprised at this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his own laptop. There’s a certain jerk in his movements when he moves his fingers to the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his wallpaper instead.
“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.”
Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?”
Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks.
“Yeah.”
So, he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face and let your gaze fall back to his laptop.
You give him a small smile.
“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”
Your heart completely breaks when you say the words.
Suddenly, the words of your supposed confession get stuck and they die in your throat. You let yourself believe that coming home tonight would fix everything; you just had to go inside, talk to Jungkook, tell him you were sorry about what you said – and the rest would just do its thing and you'll be back to okay.
But he's moving out, and every bit of hope in you shuts down.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, and you’re just about to turn on your heels to go to your room but then he utters lowly, almost like a whisper.
“It’s not final.”
“Hm?” You hum, not sure if you caught that.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Jungkook looks away as he says again, “I mean, I’m just looking. I was gonna talk to you before I finalize my plans.”
“Talk to me? Why?”
“Since we’re on a joint lease and all that.”
“Oh.” You nod to yourself, dumbfounded. It's embarrassing the way you lit up with expectation when he said it wasn't final, for it to completely die anyway when he said that. You feel like you're not wanted. “Yeah. Right.”
“I assume you’re tired from your shift, though, so maybe we can go over it tomorrow? Or any day you like, really.” Jungkook shrugs.
“No, tonight’s fine,” You wave your hand, walking towards his direction and seating yourself on the chair beside him. You try to focus all your attention on the screen in front of you instead of Jungkook’s overwhelming presence. You’ve always thought he was big but tonight, he feels even bigger and you’re intimidated. “Are you writing a notice to the landlord?”
“Yeah – I mean, after we talk about the move, that is.”
“Wow.” You can’t help but let out. “You really thought about all this while I was away?”
You regret the words just as instantly as they leave your mouth.
Looking at Jungkook hesitantly, you watch as his face falls, mouth opening and closing, as if at a loss for words.
You take them back before he says something. “Sorry — I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” Sharp and edgy, clipped and… angry. Sort of accusatory. Like you’re pinning something bad on him.
“It’s fine.” Jungkook says after awhile, returning back his gaze on the laptop.
His withdrawal makes you deflate. He seems so uninterested. Is he done with you? Just like that?
“You know what,” You utter after a pregnant pause, standing up from the chair and getting back on your feet. “I actually have a headache. I think we should go over this tomorrow.”
Jungkook looks confused but he nods, anyway. “I just… stocked up on Advil yesterday. So, if you need it… it’s just in the kit.”
“Sure. Thanks,” You give him a small smile. “I’ll, just go, uh, shower for a bit.” You point to the bathroom across from you.
Before you go, Jungkook calls your name.
“__.”
You turn around to look at him. “Yes?”
“Are you…” He trails off. You wish he’d look at you like he usually does. “Are you back for good?”
You don’t expect that question at all. But you collect yourself on time to respond. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
Jungkook’s expression is something unreadable, so you throw him an awkward smile. You’re not sure if he returned it, because everything is becoming too much, and you can’t help but overthink every single thing he does. So, before you can dwell on that, you go straight to the bathroom to do your business.
You shower quickly – you can’t focus when you know that Jungkook is just outside, and he can probably hear the water running. You’ve never really paid thoughts to these stuff except the first few weeks of moving in with him, but right now, there’s a certain awkward tension in the air and it’s slowly suffocating you. You needed to get out of the shower box quick.
And so you did, but you don’t expect the series of knocks on the door, with Jungkook’s voice behind it.
“__?”
“Y-yeah?” You stammer, wrapping your towel around you (that Jungkook thankfully hasn’t thrown out yet) with haste and getting to the door immediately to answer him.
When you open it, Jungkook visibly freezes for a bit. And you realize you’re in nothing but a piece of cotton; bare underneath, droplets of water running through your body from the tips of your uncovered, wet hair.
You consciously tighten the towel around your body, making sure to act unbothered when you say, “What?”
Jungkook seems to snap out of the moment just as you did. When you follow the hand that he lifts, you see your phone in it. Weirdly enough, you had time to notice the way the device fits so small in his hand when you can barely wrap your phone around your fingers yourself.
What the actual fuck are you talking about, you tell yourself at the back of your head. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—
“You left this on the counter. Mingyu’s been calling you.”
It’s like you’ve been suddenly hit by a truck upon hearing the name.
“Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.” You take your phone when he offers it to you. You don’t know why but you avoid Jungkook’s eyes as you step out of the bathroom and press the decline button, causing the ringtone to stop abruptly.
You don’t look back at him as you enter your bedroom, locking the door and throwing your phone on the mattress and going straight to your closet.
Nothing much has changed since the last seven or so days. What would change, anyway? It’s not like Jungkook has some sort of business in here.
When you finished dressing yourself up with your usual pajamas, a worn-out tee and a pair of short shorts, you go over right to your bed, picking up your phone.
The notification bar says that you have six missed calls from Mingyu and two texts. An upgrade from his three to four times in the previous days.
See, it’s not only Jungkook or Doyeon or Nayeon or Taehyung whom you’ve been avoiding. It’s also Mingyu. The last time that you two talked was when you said goodbye to each other when he was catching his flight from the resort. You’ve completely shut everybody out after that thing happened, and again, it’s not your proudest moment. You’re only non-confrontational to a certain degree, but you usually handle your problems like a grown woman.
You just really don’t know how to handle this one.
But Mingyu’s been calling, and you haven’t answered or replied to any of his messages ever since.
It’s just… everytime you think about him… it hurts.
It hurts to think of somebody you’ve given your trust to, only for them to step on it without any remorse. It hurts that you once thought he was going to be the one, only for him to end up as someone you’re starting to… hate. It hurts extremely that just eight days ago, you held this high level of adoration for him, but now you don’t feel anything at all but simmering anger.
Sighing, you click on his message instead of sliding it out, gearing yourself for what you’re about to read.
gyu😽 [10:15pm]: Dinner at my place tonight? gyu😽 [10:32pm]: Can you pick up my calls?
You scrolled through the other ones he sent in the past week, and you find out that they’re simply just a variation of “do you want to have dinner together tonight”, “why aren’t you picking up?” and shockingly… a couple texts of “i miss you”.
You’ve only been bullshitting when you told Jungkook that you had a headache, but right now that excuse might be true because you can feel a tick in your head, a certain bang on the front, and you just want all of this to end.
Letting out a controlled breath, you swallow the lump in your throat as you type a reply. Finally.
You [10:50pm]: Can we talk tomorrow?
To your surprise, Mingyu responds quickly.
gyu😽 [10:51pm]: of course. dinner?
You [10:52pm]: yeah. i get off at around 8 tomorrow.
gyu😽 [10:52pm]: I have some paperworks to attend to but 8 is fine by me. gyu😽 [10:53pm]: Can we go to a restaurant? gyu😽 [10:53pm]: I haven’t cleaned my place so I thought we could go outside
You [10:54pm]: It’s alright. Also, no need to pick me up. I’ll uber.
gyu😽 [10:55pm]: You sure?
You [10:56pm]: Yeah.
gyu😽 [10:56pm]: Alright then.
You don’t get a lot of sleep that night.
“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late. The partners had a meeting over at the firm,” Mingyu says, loosening his tie a little, breathing a bit sharp as he takes the seat across from you.
You nod, giving him a small smile. Taking a sip from your water, you watch as Mingyu fixes his tie again, some sort of attempt to look kempt, like he hasn’t just run here. He was in a rush, and you feel bad that he had to go over here quickly when the partners meeting was probably something important. He could’ve canceled and you wouldn’t have mind.
“So. Hi,” Mingyu greets you as if he’s making up for his rash entrance earlier. He gives you a smile, the one that’s his usual charming smile – you remember fawning over it the first time you met him. “How have you been?”
“Fine. I’ve been doing well.” you answer. In your lap, your fingers fiddle with each other.
You’ve thought about how you are going to go over this, but obviously the scenarios that played in your head yesterday and before you went here were so much more different than now. You weren’t an anxious mess in your imagination.
Mingyu nods. “That’s good to hear. Been doing fine as well.” He says casually.
That makes something flare up in your chest.
Fine? He’s been doing fine?
Before you can say something, a waiter comes up to your table to give you the menu, and that effectively keeps you from saying the words you were probably going to regret as soon as they come out of your mouth.
You both tell your respective orders to the waiter before he walks away, leaving you two nodding and smiling ahead. When he’s gone, you’re left alone with Mingyu again.
You look at him — and his usual suits and tie ensemble would usually make you gush internally about how good he looks, how you can still see the way he’s built under the pristine fabric of his clothes, and how attractive he is the way he carries himself.
“I’m glad you called me tonight, sweetheart.”
And you don’t expect the way the hairs on your body tingle with… ick.
“Sure.” You say, drinking from your glass of water again.
Just get over it, your mind convinces you. But how are you going to approach it?
Moments pass and then suddenly, Mingyu lets out a heavy breath. You peer up at him, raising a brow.
“Alright, I’m not gonna skirt around this anymore, __,” He says, and his eyebrows are knitted in what seems like confusion when he meets your gaze. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me.”
The confrontation somehow eases you even though it shouldn’t.
Licking your bottom lip – an anxious habit that you try hard to forgo – you compose yourself before you say, “I have. Yes, you’re right.”
“Why?” Mingyu asks with genuine curiosity.
Somehow, this bothers you. Does he really not know or he’s just pretending not to know? Whichever it is, it does not really make you feel any better about him. If he’s pretending not to know, then he’s an even bigger asshole than you’re letting him on, but if he does not know, then that’s just even worse. Imagine doing all of those things and not being aware that you did something wrong enough to upset people?
“I have to be completely honest with you, Mingyu. I want to break up.”
The words come out easily as opposed to what you expected.
Somehow, it’s strange, really. You’ve never dumped anybody before. Of course, you don’t count those casual dates you’ve had in the past two years because they were never that serious. But usually, in your long relationships, the other guy does the dumping and never you.
So, right now, as you sit across from Mingyu, finally declaring what you’ve been thinking over the past week, you feel a sense of liberation. A cliché, really. There’s a feeling of discomfort gnawing at some parts of you, but you choose to ignore it, bravely meeting his gaze instead.
“What?”
“I want to break up with you.” You reiterate, this time fuller so he knows your decision is final.
His mouth opens and closes, and there’s a pregnant pause that hangs in the air before he finds his tongue. “But why?”
“Are you serious?” You can’t help but snap. “Do you really not know?”
“No. Fill me in, because I’m confused.” Mingyu doubles down, and it fires you up a little bit.
“Mingyu, Jungkook told me everything,” You say, and you notice the way his expression changes into something more… unreadable the moment you dropped Jungkook’s name. “And I mean everything. What you did with his girlfriend back in college, and what you said about me to goad him into a fight. I mean, what were you thinking, Mingyu? All of that was just… low. Even for you. I can’t believe you’d do any of that.” You catch your breath after you say the words, not realizing how heavy it would feel to let them out. You’ve never been confrontational, would prefer if the other person did all the talking, and to do this right now is taking so much from you.
“He told you everything?” Mingyu asks again. You watch as he relaxes his posture, and you grow confused when his lips curl into a smirk. “I knew he would do that. Come crying to you with his lovesick head. Did he finally grow some to tell you he loves you, then?”
You recoil, not expecting that. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is my business. You’re my girlfriend.”
“I’m not anymore.”
Mingyu inhales a sharp breath. “So, you’re choosing him?”
“I—I— what?” you blurt out, surprised at his audacity. “I’m not choosing anybody. And it’s really bold of you to assume that you’re still one of my options after all that.”
Scoffing, Mingyu drinks from his water. He looks at you with a blank stare as he says, “Well, be honest with me now. Do you love him?”
“Do I love him?” You chuckle, not the least bit of humor in it. “You don’t really deserve my honesty, Mingyu. You had all of those four months to be honest with me and you didn’t do shit. Don’t ask me any personal questions and expect me to give you an honest answer. Because I won’t give you any of it.”
“You said a lot of things but I know you love him just as much as he loves you.”
“What are you talking about?”
This time, Mingyu’s tone borders on sharp when he leans down to get to you closer so you can hear him clearly. “You think it was easy for me to be in a relationship with you when all you could talk and think about was Jungkook? Jungkook who was only supposedly your bestfriend?” It’s said with so much wrath that you can’t help but physically recoil at his words. When you don’t say anything, Mingyu continues, “Jungkook told me this movie’s good, Jungkook said their aglio e olio tastes great, Jungkook and I were just talking about this — I could go on how many times you’ve always managed to insert him in anything even when we’re together, but I did not want to be that kind of boyfriend who got jealous over their girl’s friends, and I was that for you – and you think I’m the bad guy here?”
You blink, mouth opening and closing. You fish for some words, something to defend yourself with. Have you really said all that? Did you really do that? Did you really talk about Jungkook enough times that Mingyu took notice of it?
You’ve always thought that your friendship with Jungkook is platonic. You’ve convinced yourself of that and Jungkook seemed to think the same — at least that’s what you thought prior to his confession – and you like to think that your friendship works, even though the majority of people don’t agree that opposite genders can be purely friends.
But… did you think wrong? Did you really just convince yourself it was platonic when all along… it was not?
You don’t exactly recall the moments that you talked about him while you were with Mingyu. It’s hard to when talking about Jungkook just comes like second nature. You don’t count the times you see the grass being green – because they are and will always be green.
And that’s what Jungkook is to you. He’s been such a constant presence in your life that you can’t help but bring him up in any case because… because it just feels right to do so.
Now you think about your relationship with Eunwoo. How he never really liked Jungkook. Did he think the same as Mingyu? Did you also talk about your best friend too much in his presence? Did he count the times you mentioned Jungkook’s name in your conversations? Do you really talk so much about him?
“See?” Mingyu says after a while and it snaps you out of your stupor. “Don’t tell me I’m a liar when you’ve also been lying to me this whole time.”
“How dare you?” You snap at him. You can take him pointing out about the thing with Jungkook, but never this. “I didn’t hide anything from you. I was not the one with the history of cheating with their friend’s girlfriend and I didn’t talk behind your back like you’re merely just a piece of meat.”
Mingyu visibly stills and you bite your lip after saying the words. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Didn’t really mean to say that in the first place. But it’s done and you can’t cry over spilled milk.
Doesn’t negate the fact that you feel like shit, though.
“You think I didn’t regret what I did?” Mingyu says, a little quiet this time. If you weren’t at the quieter part of the restaurant, in a booth where the sound of the classical music and people’s chatters are muffled, you won’t hear him at all. “Jungkook and I were close, __. We really were. And I fucked up and ruined his trust. But you also don’t know how and why that happened. Jiyeon was already cheating on him before she hit on me–”
“Oh, so is that the part where you volunteered to be one of her “victims”, too?” You say sarcastically, cutting him off, incredulous about the fact that he’s really trying to make excuses for himself right now.
“We were fucking drunk– and high, okay? We didn’t know what we were doing.” Mingyu says through his teeth, and it’s the first time you see him lose control. He’s always so kempt and so composed, it’s baffling you’re seeing him in this state.
But you refuse to believe his bullshit.
“You know what, I don't know why you’re saying this to me. You should be saying this to Jungkook and frankly, I simply don’t care. What happened back then is between you – don’t include me into any of your arguments ever again,” You say exasperatedly. “My issue is that – and why I’m breaking up with you in the first place – is that you lied to me, Mingyu. You lied to me about so much. And If I were to go through this relationship with you longer, I don't know what else you’re going to lie to me about, and I don’t want that. Let’s not waste each other’s time and end it right here, right now.”
Mingyu leans back on his seat. “I can’t change your mind even if I apologize to you about that, huh?”
You shake your head.
He nods.
“Alright.”
You look at him again.
Kim Mingyu has sharp features that usually make him look broody from an outsider perspective, but you’ve seen the way he smiles and how gentle he looks when he does. Right now, though, he looks… genuinely sad.
He lied to you, yes, but somehow, there’s still some part of you that wants to know if he felt the least bit genuine about you. That it wasn’t all just a ploy to get to Jungkook.
“Did you really like me? Even for a moment?” You break the silence, voice breaking slightly at the end.
Mingyu looks up at you and you don’t expect the way his lips curl up into a small smile. “Yes, __. I did. I liked you the first time we met and believe it or not, I still have feelings for you right now.”
You look away to avoid his intense gaze.
It’s weird. It’s so weird. Because even though you know in your heart that he’s not and will never be good for you and that he’s not a loss, your heart still aches at the declaration.
“I don’t really know if I believe that.” You say, almost like a whisper.
“I’m sorry, then.” Mingyu says, and it sounds so sincere that you start to feel some sort of stinging in both sides of your eyes.
In what seemed like forever, the waiter arrives with your orders, and you both look up and offer him a hand in placing them on your table, bidding him thanks as he once again walks away.
You and Mingyu both look at your food.
“I think I’m going first. I have a trial tomorrow, so I need to take care of that.” He says suddenly.
Nibbling your bottom lip, you watch as he begins to fix his shirt, ready to stand up.
“Okay.”
“__?” You look up at him when he calls your name. He seems to hesitate for a bit, but he says, “Can you… can you tell Jungkook I’m sorry?”
Staring at his face, you try to look for a hint of sarcasm. Or anything indicative of malice. But all you see is sincerity.
At that, you shake your head. “No.” Mingyu’s face falls. “Talk to him yourself if you really are sorry. I’m not your mailman, Mingyu.”
He sighs. “Alright. I guess you’re right,” And then, “And I’m saying sorry, to you too, you didn’t deserve that. I was angry, and that’s not an excuse. So, I’m sorry. Will you…” he clears his throat. “Will you ever forgive me?”
You shrug. “I don’t know. Probably.”
Mingyu gives you a timid smile. “Okay.”
When he takes out his wallet and a black card from there, you instantly stop him from calling over the waiter.
“No, it’s fine, I’ll take care of it. I’m the one who invited you here.” You say, talking him out of paying.
He shakes his head, insisting, “It’s okay.”
“Seriously, I can handle it.”
Mingyu lets out a chuckle which makes you smile a bit before you scold yourself.
“I know. But can you let me? This is… this is probably the last time we’ll see each other.”
At that, you relax back in your seat, staring at him. He stares right back at you.
With a slow nod, you let him call over the waiter.
He departs with a small goodbye that you return with a timid wave.
When you go home that night, you cried yourself to sleep, thankful that Jungkook hasn’t come home from his shift yet.
Things are… fine.
Unlike your previous break-ups that left you in agony for the following days after it happened, the one with Mingyu did not really leave a huge emotional impact. It makes you wonder if you’ve overestimated your feelings for him… makes you question yourself if you really thought he was the one when things were fine, and you both dated happily.
You don’t bother yourself looking for answers, because the relationship is done and there’s no point in going over the details when it’s you yourself who ended the ties.
While that is not the sole reason of your melancholic feeling these days, it lies on another person; your roommate, Jungkook – your best friend of eight years who’s apparently been in love with you the whole time.
It’s only been a few weeks ever since you talked about him moving out. He said it was about time for him to leave the place – he’s been here longer than you, after all. He wrote and sent the notice to his landlord, and it’s been about two weeks since then, so you assume he’s already got his approval.
While things may look normal and right from an outsider’s perspective… things aren’t exactly the way they were before.
Jungkook and you are close. You share almost everything together. Your friendship has been honed throughout the many years and obstacles you’ve faced together and so it’s only natural for you two to be as close.
But nowadays… you can feel that closeness slipping away. It flares up something inside you; like that feeling of grief when you remember that friend in highschool who you stopped talking to after graduation. You don’t know exactly what the reason is for the abrupt end of communication, but the finish line is there and you’ve both reached it without the other knowing – and you’re left fending for yourselves, looking ahead at your own worlds and letting your lives flow to the stream of the river.
It’s strange, really; how everything feels somewhat normal but also really under that condition.
Jungkook and you would text each other nonstop – he could be in his own room, and he’d still text you about random shit that ends up with him going to your room anyway just to annoy you for a bit before you kick him out and you both go to sleep. He’d ask to borrow something – anything, ask your food preference for the night, and he’d always ask you when your shift ends so you can go together if your schedules align. Meanwhile, you ask him to join you in the living room for spontaneous movie nights, ask him to give you a massage, and you’d both talk about your days, catching up on the hours you weren’t together.
And now there’s none of that.
Now, you both greet each other when the other one gets home almost like a chore. Like how your roommate from college used to welcome you when you arrived at the dorm from classes. When either you or he is in the living room or something, you’d both tell each other that “Dinner’s in the fridge, you can microwave it”, instead of “What do you think we should have for dinner?”. Jungkook asks if you need a ride to the hospital because he knows you don’t have a car anymore, but you refuse because it’s obvious it’s just for formality.
You don’t know if it’s just the overthinker in you, but it feels like Jungkook’s pulling back and he has no intention of making things right – or talk about what happened.
He’s so… he’s so civil.
And you miss him so much it makes you sad.
It makes you confused. Sort of mad. He makes you feel a lot of things – but you hate that you’ve just been compartmentalizing and not doing any processing at all.
You spent the past few weeks pointing out to yourself the differences that your relationship is going through. You spend some nights beating yourself up whether to go barge in his room and confront him with everything – but you do none of that.
Instead, you pretend everything’s okay. At the hospital, you’ve no longer avoided him and said hi which he returns with a smile. Nayeon, Taehyung, and Doyeon, thought at first that everything’s back to normal, but you know they’re slowly realizing that it has not.
Tonight, though, at Nayeon’s reception party after her wedding, you try hard to ignore all those angsts and choose to enjoy yourself instead. It’s Nayeon’s big day. The last thing you wanted to be was a bum.
Everybody is socializing with each other, and since you’ve had your fair share of conversations with other people at this point, you choose to sit out on the dance.
Suddenly, Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl is playing and the majority coos and exclaims in excitement as they hurry to the dancefloor, some taking their partners along with them.
“Look, they’re playing your favorite song.”
Your head snaps to the side in reflex to see who it was, only to see Jungkook. Words get caught in your tongue for a moment, a bit surprised to see him. You mean – sure, he’s been here for a while. It is Nayeon’s wedding, after all, but weirdly enough, you two haven’t shared a conversation yet throughout the day.
Until now, anyway.
Recovering from your initial surprise, you scoot over to the side, giving him space to maybe… sit beside you?
“That’s not my favorite song.” You scoff, sipping on your champagne right after, looking right ahead as you feel Jungkook situating himself on the chair beside you.
“Oh… has it changed now?” Jungkook says, and there’s a lilt of teasing tone to it that you look at him in wonder.
Meeting his gaze, you find he’s just smiling at you. He’s in an off-white tux, a lily pinned on his chest pocket. He’s done his hair in that usual way he cleans up for formal events like this, gelled and parted slightly off center to show off his forehead. It’s slightly longer than you’ve last noticed it looked, and you think he hasn’t been trimming it…
Nonetheless, he looks simply put… dashing.
“I change my favorite song every five to seven business days,” you say coolly. “Anyway, why aren’t you there?” you point to where the flock of people is having a ball to Billy Joel.
Truthfully, you kind of wish you were there as well. You’ve always danced to that song in your room or in the shower.
“I’m right where I want to be,” Jungkook shrugs. “Why aren’t you there?”
You lie, “I’m right where I want to be as well.”
He hums. “You don’t want to show them your moves?”
You look at him in disbelief, gawking at him. “Are you teasing me?”
Jungkook widens his eyes, but you know he knows what you’re talking about, and it sounds like he’s trying to keep from laughing when he says, “No. I just happen to know you’re a great dancer.”
With that, you feel yourself getting carried away by how easily your conversation goes. It makes you think about the old times – where talking to him always made your day because he's funny and he makes you laugh and you make him laugh.
“Fuck off. You know very well I have two left feet.” You chuckle, shaking your head at him.
“Wasn’t the case when you were dancing inside a boiler room during med school at that rave party we went to, but okay.”
You can’t help but laugh louder, and with that, you jab a lighthearted slap to his bicep without thinking too much of it.
“I told you that never happened.”
“Oh…” Jungkook puts down his champagne and cocks his head to the side. “What happened?”
You giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a schoolgirl. And you watch as Jungkook joins in your laughter, taking the glass close to his face to sip from it.
Then: “You wanna dance?” Jungkook suddenly says, but he’s looking at the dancefloor.
“Hm. Dunno. Uptown Girl isn’t exactly rave music.”
That earns you a chuckle from Jungkook. “But it’s fun music, right?”
Soon after, he stands up from his seat. You look at him questioningly, but he mirrors it back with an expectant gaze and a raised brow. Seeing you getting apprehensive, he offers his hand and that’s when you roll your eyes, taking his hand as you pretend to stand up against your will and follow him to the crowd.
You chuckle as Jungkook suddenly sways his hips to the upbeat of the song, moving his arms around playfully. You’d like to think he’s doing that intentionally – to make you laugh? Loosen up? Whatever the idea behind it, it’s effective, because you can’t stop laughing as you watch him.
“Come on, we do this all the time!” Jungkook says over the loud music and people’s candid chattering.
And he’s not wrong because you do have mini parties in the living room of your apartment, pretending like the city before the glass wall across the area is your audience.
But you two are usually drunk during those moments, and right now, with only one glass of champagne, you’re not near being tipsy.
“This is so silly!” You exclaim, but you find yourself matching Jungkook’s spontaneous choreography, and it earns you a laugh from him as well.
“And when she’s walking, she’s looking so fi-i-ne,” Jungkook sings along, gesturing to you. You cover your face because you can’t stop laughing at how he looks – how you two must look – but you’re almost sure nobody’s paying attention because everybody is just having fun on their own. He has a good voice, though – even though he’s trying to act goofy with it. Jungkook doesn’t like when people point it out, or more like, gets shy when you bring it up.
Suddenly, he steps closer to you and reaches for your hand. Looking at him with confusion, still with that wide grin on your face, he gives you a playful smile before he guides your arm upwards. You utter a sound of a delighted snort, understanding where he’s getting at. With Jungkook guiding you, you do a mildly successful turn that makes you both laugh because as you were just getting back in your original position, you almost trip. Good thing that Jungkook’s there to catch you by the waist, the contact only lasting for a brief second before he lets go to dance on his own again.
“I wish I was an uptown girl!” You yell over the music.
“You’re kinda an uptown girl if you think about it.” Jungkook responds, nodding his head as if he believes that.
You chuckle, shaking your head at him. “No.”
“Yes, you are. You’re sophisticated and elegant.”
“Well, this—” you point between your bodies, “– is not very sophisticated and elegant of me.”
“Touché.” Jungkook laughs.
“But will you be my downtown man?” You say, not really thinking too much about it but then you suddenly realize what you just said and you’re about to add something to it – like putting a disclaimer that it was just a joke.
But then Jungkook leans closer, ducks down to level with your ear. “I can be if you want me to.”
The song ends and you barely had time to process what just happened before the soft piano progression of Carole King’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow begins to play.
You hear the collective “Aww”s from the audience and you watch as everybody suddenly pairs up with someone else. As the first lyric of the song is sung, you can feel the upbeat energy from earlier dropping to a calmer atmosphere. Romantic, you’d say it is.
When you look at Jungkook again, he has a small smile on his face. It’s as gentle as the piano behind the song.
“Can I?” He says.
You nibble on your bottom lip. “You want to?”
Jungkook only nods, still smiling.
“Only if you want to as well.”
You look around again. It’s not hard to spot Taehyung from afar on the dancefloor as well, with a gorgeous Hyerin in his arms. He doesn’t seem to notice you looking, though, but you watch the way he ducks down to whisper something in her ear, prompting a laugh from her.
Putting your gaze back to Jungkook, you blink as you say, “It’s… okay, I guess.”
“Okay?” Jungkook clarifies. You nod your head and he smiles that dashing smile again before he steps closer to you.
Slowly, he puts a hand around your waist. And you know he did it awhile ago, but the contact ended so briefly that you didn’t really have the chance to… somehow… savor it, maybe? But right now, as you fumble with your own hand, deciding whether or not you should put a hand on his waist as well, the proximity makes your breath hitch.
Your heart beats abnormally fast against your ribcage, and usually, it’s not hard to stare Jungkook in the face – but you find it a difficult task to do nowadays.
Jungkook, unsuspecting of your inner dilemma, only seems to notice your confusion with your hand placement, chuckling as he guides your wrist to his shoulder. He raises his other arm with yours and interlocks your fingers with his mid-air.
“There,” Jungkook says once you’re in the right position. “Now we look like professional dancers.”
You wince. “What’s the next step?”
“You’re taking this very seriously,” Jungkook snorts as he begins to move his feet.
You try to match his pace, and that distracts you from the fact that you're so close you can smell his cologne very well.
“Where did you learn this?” You ask instead, quite amazed at how Jungkook is approaching this. It’s not like you’ve never slow danced in your life – but you weren’t kidding when you said you have two left feet.
“Wikihow.”
“Wow.”
“They can be super reliable at times,” Jungkook chuckles as he continues to swing you both gently. “Stop looking down.”
You groan. “Ugh, no. I’m trying very hard not to not step on you.”
“So what if you step on me? Just relax.”
Jutting your bottom lip out, you look up at him. “My heels are Louboutin.”
“Even better.”
“Stop.” You break away from his hold with your other hand to jab at his chest lightly. Jungkook lets out an “Owe!” but you know it didn’t actually hurt when he just grins down at you, placing his hand on your waist instead so now he’s just… simply holding you.
You ignore the weird feeling in your chest at the action, choosing to keep your hand on his chest.
“You wanna know something?” You whisper. Jungkook hums. “I didn’t go to prom in highschool.”
“What? Why?” Jungkook genuinely seems surprised to hear that.
You smile sadly, looking back at the memory bitterly. “Changsub and I were fighting around that time because I saw him at the mall with some girl the previous week. I was so angry that I didn’t care about what I’d be missing out on. My mom tried really hard to get me to attend, but I was very stubborn. Now I still regret not going to prom. My dress was really pretty back then too but I didn't even get to wear it.”
“Damn,” Jungkook utters. “He really was such a dick to you, huh?”
“Yeah. But it was still on me, though… I can’t believe I let a boy make me miss out on prom night.” You pout.
Jungkook’s quiet for a while before he abruptly stops his swaying. You look at him in confusion as he lets go of your waist.
“Well, I don’t have a corsage… but this can maybe do?” He fumbles with his chest first before he takes out the silk lavender handkerchief from his suit’s pocket that matches his tie and the lily on his chest. He looks at you for a while before he takes your wrist in his hand. Your brows knit together as he ties the fabric around your wrist, making sure to finish it up with a ribbon – an attempt at a ribbon, that is.
You chuckle. “What’s this?”
Jungkook grins. “You wanna know something too? I didn’t have a date on prom night – was too scared to ask anybody out. I went home after the first hour. Wasn’t really a fond memory. So, prom night definitely sucked for me… what I’m saying is that, it’s not really all that.”
You duck your head down to laugh, partly to hide the flutter in your heart at his words.
“So, like, is this our – what – our upgraded prom night?”
Jungkook nods proudly. He takes both your hands as you laugh, wrapping them around his neck, taking you by the waist again.
This time, you don’t feel like your breath is being taken away.
You feel… serene. The beating of your heart is back to normal. You realize, there’s a sense of comfort that comes from being close to him like this – talking and laughing like good old times.
You miss him. You miss him so much and you can’t believe you ever considered accepting a life without him in it.
“The dress looks good on you, by the way,” Jungkook comments, and it sounds so sincere that you can’t help but smile. As if that wasn’t enough to melt your heart, he adds, “And you look really beautiful.”
“T-thanks,” you stammer, taken aback at the almost intimate way he looks right into your eyes as he said that. You tighten your hold around his neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
“Thank you.”
You both chuckle, though there was nothing really funny said in particular.
Carole King’s gentle voice soothes you as Jungkook takes the lead of the dance. You’re not even doing anything other than just going with the flow, letting him take you wherever. There’s a moment when you were sure you stepped on his shoe, but Jungkook’s quick to dismiss you with a hush and saying it was nothing.
Tonight with words unspoken,
You say that I’m the only one
But will my heart be broken,
When the night meets the morning sun
You scoff as you finally hear the lyrics.
That may have taken a hit on you.
“This is so stupid.” You say.
Jungkook’s quick to react.
“Rude. I’m literally giving you a prom night from scratch.”
You look at him and you feel bad because he genuinely seems offended at your supposedly throw-away comment.
Shaking your head, you tap his chest lightly. “No, no. I mean– the lyrics. The song.”
Jungkook arches a brow. “I have a video of you crying over this song in your car when it came up on your playlist.”
“I didn’t cry over this song.” You roll your eyes.
“Not as much as you did over Silver Springs, anyway.”
“Oh my god, why do you know so much, Jesus,” you hiss, embarrassed at being confronted by your dramatic antics. “I just meant, why are they playing such a sad song at a wedding? Who approved this?”
“Eh,” Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe Nayeon’s a Carole King fan.”
“Is she?” you ask, genuinely curious. If she is, she never told anybody.
“Maybe…?”
You can’t help but laugh because of how the conversation progressed. Jungkook laughs as well, and he takes the jab you send to his chest with a light hand. They’re really hard, you think, and you don’t know what comes over you as you lean your head down and let your body fall towards him, laying your cheek on the lapel of his suit. It’s warm.
You feel Jungkook stilling in his position at your sudden action, but soon enough, he does nothing to pry you off like you feared for a moment he would, tightening his arms around your waist and swinging you both in that kind of laxed way.
Shutting your eyes close, you let the soft melody of the song ease your nerves, basking in Jungkook’s presence and his familiar scent.
You stay like that for a while, and just when the song is coming to an end, you feel Jungkook’s breathe in your ears, his lips almost brushing to the tips of your ears when he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything back then, but I really miss you too.”
You drank more champagne than you anticipated and it’s why you wobble your way into the bathroom to do some half-ass retouch. Just as when you were putting away your make-up, Nayeon comes out from one of the cubicles.
“Hey, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl,” She says with a huge smile, now changed into a much simpler dress, in contrast to her voluminous one earlier.
You mirror her grin, opening your arms wide to engulf her in a hug. “Hi to you too. Congrats again on the wedding. I’m so incredibly happy for you. You and Minhyuk are perfect.”
When Nayeon breaks apart from your hug, she looks at you closely. “I saw you with Jungkook earlier. Lots of people saw you two earlier.”
“What?”
“I mean… slow dancing to Will You Love Me Tomorrow in a weirdly intimate way was kind of insane, if you ask me.”
“Oh, uhm…” you feel blood rushing to your cheeks as you grow embarrassed at the thought of people catching you in that position. You remember after the song ended, you made up some excuse about going to the bathroom to pee and you did – but you pointedly tried to stay out of Jungkook’s sight ever since.
One step forward, three steps back.
“How are you two by the way?”
“We’re fine.” You say, giving her a reassuring smile.
Nayeon stares at you for a moment. Then, she sighs. “You’re not, are you?”
“No, we really are. We’re– we’re talking, right?” You point out.
“But… he’s moving out of your place.”
“Well, he needs a change of scenery. He’s been there for four years so he must be tired living there.”
Nayeon stares at you again and when you look at her face, your heart twinges as you see the disappointment written all over her features.
“I don’t understand you both, really. You have this… this beautiful thing going on and you’re choosing to ignore that? It’s obvious that you feel something for him, __. Just be honest with him and see where it goes. I know you two are pretending that everything’s fine but you’re both hurting each other and you’re acting like it’s nothing – it’s all just unnecessary angst at this point. What are you two doing?” Nayeon asks.
“I…”
“Come on, __. Do you really want to let each other go? Do you really want to drift apart? Because it’s been almost a month of pussyfooting. And I don’t know if you’re just expecting that your luck is not gonna run out, but it is going to. And I know you’re going to regret it.”
You stare at Nayeon while listening to her words. You don’t expect the sharp edges to her voice. You’ve always thought that if someone was going to call you out on your bullshit – it was going to be Doyeon. She’s the bluntest in the group and would not hesitate to tell someone if they’re being a bitch or not – so you don’t expect Nayeon to be like this at all because she’s always been a soft-spoken sweetheart.
It's not like Doyeon hasn’t been harsh, either, though. You had a drink with her and Taehyung a month ago and let’s just say she kind of ranted about you feeling like you’re in a romcom or something.
She shuts her eyes close, and you can just feel her frustration emanating. “I’m sorry – I know I’m being harsh right now. But I just can’t bear seeing you two like this. I just got married today and I feel like I’m learning and realizing so much right now and one of those is that I’m extremely lucky to have found someone I’m so sure of, and while Minhyuk was saying his vows I looked back at my past relationships and just thought that… that I’m so glad I was finally at that point and… and right now I can’t stop thinking about you two,” Nayeon sighs. “You two love each other so much. Everybody can see it. Why are you both running away from each other? What gives?”
You look away.
You both do love each other. They are right.
And while you can’t exactly say if what you feel for Jungkook right now bounds in being in love – there’s quite literally only one thing in the world that you’re certain of, and it’s that he’s the most important person to you – the only one you can think of spending a lifetime with and not get sick of it.
And that was something.
But…
“Because it’s scary.” You say, finally.
“What’s scary?”
You inhale a sharo breath.
“For eight years I’ve always thought that we were only platonic. But somewhere in my head I always thought that he was my soulmate, you know? I thought about us ending up together and I remember liking that thought. But years went by, and nothing ever happened and I swear I was happy with Eunwoo but you know what I’m ashamed of all this time that I never told anybody?” Your vision of Nayeon gets blurry as you begin tearing up. “I think… I have been in denial for so long. I think… I think I secretly looked for a part of Jungkook in Eunwoo and I think Eunwoo knew that. I think everybody who I’ve ever been with knew that except for myself. Because I was in denial. Even right now, I’m still in denial. You don’t know how – you don’t know how strange it is to suddenly wake up and realize that you don’t see your friend as a mere friend anymore. You don’t know how hard it is to overthink things – like what if it doesn’t work out and everything falls apart? Our friendship is so important to me, I hold it in the highest regard, and I don’t want anything to ever go against it. But now I’m doing that myself and I just… I hate it. But I don’t know what to do. Jungkook’s moving out just like it seems like he’s moving on and I’m scared that I’m too late to do anything.”
Your speech leaves Nayeon’s mouth agape, clearly not expecting your outburst. But she recovers quickly. She steps closer in front of you, and in a second, engulfs you in a hug.
“I’m sorry,” you sniff, making sure to not let your tears fall down her dress. “I think I’ve been keeping that for a long time.”
“It’s okay… I’m glad you said that.”
“Yeah… I think I’m glad too,” you both chuckle.
“__?”
You hum.
“Just talk to Jungkook. If you’re worried about him moving out, he’s not. I can tell you that much.”
You break the hug and look at Nayeon. “Nayeon, he literally has everything packed. I think he’s leaving early in the morning tomorrow.”
Nayeon fixes a strand of stray hairs from your hair framing your face. “Hm. He has?” You nod. “Well, as I said, he’s not leaving. Trust me. But you have to tell him everything that you told me just now. Be honest, __. It feels scary right now but, try to take a leap of faith, okay? This is not some toxic positivity shit or anything like that, but just be honest, alright?”
Nibbling on your bottom lip, you look at her hesitantly. “Are you… are you sure?”
Nayeon nods, and she looks so sure of herself that it may have fired up a little bit of hope in you.
The party is still ongoing, but you decide that it’s time for you to clock out. After you bid your goodbyes to Nayeon and her now husband, to Doyeon and to Taehyung, you head out of the venue to try and book a taxi. You couldn’t find Jungkook earlier at the party, so you decided to send him a text that says you were going home.
“Need a ride?”
The ever-familiar voice expectedly appears to be Jungkook when you look at him.
“Hey,” you greet. “No. I was just about to book an Uber.”
Jungkook’s brows furrow. You think he looks handsome under the moonlight. “We can ride together in my car. I’m going home as well.”
“N-no, no, ‘s really fine,” you wave your hand, emphasizing your point.
Jungkook grows more confused. Then: “Are you drunk?”
You wince, hating that he instantly knows right away.
“Sorta, kinda…”
“And you want to Uber?” You pout. You hear him scoff. “There’s no way I’m leaving you alone in this state. Okay, let’s get you to my car.”
“I’m fine, really,” you say but it sounds whiny even to your ears.
“You can be stubborn all you want. But in the passenger’s seat.” Jungkook gives you a sharp stare, but his hold on your wrist is gentle as he guides you to the parking lot.
He wears the seatbelt around your waist and lets you settle on your seat, rounding the car to get behind the wheel right after. You look away. You thought he'd be more... not nice to you since you just left him earlier with a poor excuse.
You feel guilty. So guilty. Jungkook is so... he makes you feel so loved but you're just... so confused. You're so scared it doesn't even make sense.
When he starts the engine, he asks, “Why did you drink so much?”
It's easy to ignore the heavy thoughts in your head when you're half-asleep at this point.
“I dunno. The champagne was so good… I bet it was probably expensive. I can’t have that much free stuff until –” you stop, as if remembering something, sitting upright. “When is Taehyung’s wedding?”
“He doesn’t have a wedding, ba—__. He hasn’t proposed to Hyerin yet.”
You slump in your chair hearing that.
“Why? They’re so perfect together… they should marry…” You say before dropping back down to your seat again. The AC in Jungkook’s car whirrs softly in your ear, and when you look to the side, you find yourself staring at his side profile.
He’s taken off his white coat, now left with a white shirt and his purple tie. He’s pushed the sleeves up to his forearms, showing the veins all over them.
“Jungkook.” you call him.
“What is it?” He says, momentarily looking at you before focusing back on the road.
“Can I…” you look at his hand. You sniff. “Can I hold your hand?”
Well, he does not expect that at all. But he smiles anyway, taking off one hand on the wheel and reaching for your own hand over the center console. You watch the way his huge palm dwarfs your own, and you almost sigh in relief when he laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as he rests it over his thigh.
The last thing you hear is Jungkook’s soft chuckle before you completely drift off to sleep.
When you awake, you’re in your room. Seconds after regaining consciousness, you notice the banging in your head – and when you blearily open your eyes, reaching around for your phone, you don’t find it.
Groaning, you stand up from your bed, realizing you’re now in a shirt and some pajamas. But weirdly enough, you seem to still have your bra on.
You peek through the inside of your shirt and alas, the white lace of your bra from last night’s event welcomes you, and when you stretch the waistband of your shorts to check on your panties, you still adorn the pair of white thong, which means only one thing.
You haven’t changed completely out of the garments you’ve worn to Nayeon’s wedding and you wonder how it all happened. When you look to the side, your clutch is placed on the nightstand and so you grab it, relieved to find your phone there.
Shockingly, you read it’s only over 2 am.
With furrowed brows, you go over to the mirror to check your ensemble. Your face isn’t and doesn't feel as heavy with make-up as it was back at the venue, and you’re definitely dressed down now.
You remember passing out in Jungkook’s car after he insisted that you ride with him… and everything had been a blur since then.
Suddenly, an idea goes into your head.
Did Jungkook… change your clothes and remove your make-up? That’s the only plausible thing that you can consider because you honestly don’t remember ever dressing yourself or going to the bathroom to remove your make-up. And if you did change out of the gown, you would've opted out of your underwear as well.
Maybe Jungkook did all that.
And the thought makes you smile. But it drops just as quickly.
You head towards your door and go straight knocking on Jungkook’s bedroom.
You don’t expect him to be awake at this point, but when you hear steps coming your way and the doorknob clicking, you stare at Jungkook wide-eyed when he welcomes you with his presence behind the door.
“Hey,” He greets, predictably surprised to see you. “You’re awake.”
“Yeah…” your eyes don’t mean to subtly roam his room. Then that’s when you catch it. The bags lying around his bedroom floor and the neatly piled boxes to the side. Your eyebrows meet each other. “You’re packing?”
Jungkook nods. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I told you that, didn’t I?”
“Y-you did, yeah.” You stammer, blinking at him. You suddenly feel like throwing up. “Well, I just came to thank you for…” you trail off, gesturing to your clothes.
Seemingly getting what you mean, Jungkook’s lips curl up into a coy smile. “I hope you don’t mind. I tried to wake you up, but you were complaining about your dress when you were sleeping…”
“Yeah… I’m glad you took it off.” You wince. “That sounds wrong. Anyway, the make-up, too. I have to ask, did I throw up on you?”
Jungkook laughs, incredulous. “No, no, you didn’t. Are you seriously worried about that?”
“I just feel bad.” You give him a tight-lipped smile.
“It’s okay. You should sleep now, it’s late. Do you have a shift tomorrow– or later, actually.”
“Yeah, I do. But it’s the evening shift. So. You?”
“I have the morning until three in the afternoon.”
Nodding, you ask, “Are you leaving at three then? I mean, to your new place?”
“Yeah. Will just pass by here to get some of my stuff.”
You try to look for something on his face. But Jungkook looks casual at best. Now you remember what Nayeon told you. Was she lying when she said you’re going to convince Jungkook not to move out? Because from the looks of it, Jungkook doesn’t seem like anything would budge him from leaving tomorrow. He seems so set on a mission, and you can’t lie and say that it doesn’t break your heart.
You find yourself thinking about the events at the reception party. How he threw you a quick prom, told you you were beautiful… how he said he missed you.
Was that all a lie? Just something he said to avoid some sort of dead air?
Because if he truly misses you, then why would he leave?
You find yourself getting annoyed.
“I’ll be back to my room.” You say to get out of the situation. You notice Jungkook getting taken aback by the change of your tone, even more so when you turn on your heels quickly to take the two strides it takes you to your own bedroom.
In there, you throw yourself on the mattress, the impact affecting you a little bit. You must still be drunk because you feel your vision getting blurry a bit but as you quickly shut and open your eyes, everything goes back to normal.
You sigh.
Well, maybe you’re actually meant to be alone and it’s true that you’re not meant for any romantic relationships. You’ll die alone and you’ll just have to deal with the heartbreaks you went through your whole life.
A stray tear escapes your eye, and you quickly raise the back of your hand to wipe at it. You glare at the wall dividing your and Jungkook’s rooms, finding it annoying that you’re not really mad at him. It’d be so easy if you were mad at him… but you have no reason to.
But why is he so stubborn? Why isn’t he saying anything? Can he just… can it just be him who takes the leap of faith, so you won’t have to? You know that’s unfair, though. It’s juvenile.
In a burst of courage, you take one pillow from your bed and stomp your way out of your bedroom, finding yourself in front of Jungkook’s room again and knocking.
He opens it, rightfully surprised to see you again. “H-hey, __, I thought—”
“Can I sleep here?”
You can see the way his face contorts into confusion. “What?”
“Can I sleep in your room?” You reiterate, but you’re already forcing your way in. You throw your pillow on his own heap of dark ones, frowning when you see the bags on the floor. “Are you just going to pack forever? You’ve been packing since yesterday.”
Your clipped tone throws Jungkook off a little bit, but he doesn’t point that out, though, when he speaks. “No. I’m actually done now.”
“Okay? Well, then, let’s sleep.” You say, staring at him. He looks stoned in his position from the edge of the bed, so utterly confused.
“Are you… still drunk?”
“What? No.”
“O… kay?” Jungkook looks extra cautious when he seats himself on the mattress by your feet. “Are you sure?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. About not being drunk and… sleeping here.”
“Yeah,” you answer, pointing out the obvious. “Why are you acting like we haven’t had sleepovers before? You used to sleep in my room when there was a spider in your closet.”
Jungkook makes a face. “It was a huge spider.”
You roll your eyes, going into a lying position, making sure to leave some space for him on the side. “Jungkook.”
“Okay, I’m going. So demanding.”
He playfully clicks his tongue as he lays on the bed as well, sliding his body across the mattress. He doesn’t expect the way you take his arm to spread it on your side of the bed, and you don’t let him say another word when you lay your head on it, keeping your hands close to your chest as you snuggle beside him.
You could feel there was a moment there that Jungkook stiffened for a bit, but he relaxes just as quickly, feeling him caress your head tentatively as if feeling you out before he goes for it completely.
“This is what you’re gonna be missing out on when you move out.” you mumble.
You’re grateful when he only says: “Hm?”
“Nothing.” You open your eyes and because of the close proximity, your eyes are at the level of the side view of his chest, and you see the way his thin white shirt clings to his body, rising up and down with his breathing. “I saw your keys earlier. I’m glad you like the Claddagh.”
Jungkook laughs. “The Claddagh, huh? I knew you knew what that keychain meant,” You frown when you realize you were supposed to pretend you didn’t know that. Oh, well, he figured you out right away, anyway. “I really like it, by the way. It was very thoughtful,” Jungkook says. You can’t see him in your position, but you just know he has a smile on his face. He sounds like it.
“Thank you. I thought about gifting you a watch… but watches are expensive, so…” You decide to joke, and Jungkook laughs which makes you smile.
“I would choose the Claddagh any day. I just… I really like it. I interpreted it as a deep sense of belonging and shared history, and I’ve known you for eight years, so that seems very fitting. I’m glad you chose to give me that.”
It was also a reminder of your relationship. Your love for each other. The loyalty that lies in its foundation, and how you’ve managed to build that over the years. Jungkook’s ultimately your soulmate – that you’re sure of – even though that’s a bit of a cliche and you don’t exactly believe in it entirely. A bit of a conflict, really, since you’re a hopeless romantic.
But you’ve long known that you and Jungkook are more than just friends. You trust and respect each other beyond words – and it’s more than what you could say about your previous romantic partners. Sure, there was that sense of admiration for one another with your ex-boyfriends, but Jungkook is different. He’s always been different.
You’ve known that all along – but it’s only now that you decided to read between the lines.
And you want to tell him that. So badly. But you choose to let the gentle tips of his fingers lull you to that comfortable annexe of warmth, easing you from overwhelming thoughts.
Has Jungkook always felt like the embodiment of comfort for you? Has he always felt like everything good you can imagine having in your life?
Then, you feel him lean down to the top of your head. “You smell so nice. You aren’t my soulmate after all.”
That makes you violently crane your neck up to look at him. “What?”
“There was this article that Tae sent to me. It was from Cosmo, I think. It says you’re not supposed to be able to smell your soulmate.” He says, looking so serious that you can’t figure if he’s bullshitting you.
You lean on your elbow so you can look down properly at him, saying, “That’s not even plausible. Since when was Cosmo reliable to you? That’s ridiculous. We literally have four hundred different types of olfactory receptors which help us perceive various smells – I mean, unless you’ve damaged them somehow, or there’s a disruption in your signal transduction, or you’re anosmic – which I know you’re not – then I don’t think that’s true.”
Jungkook laughs and you can’t help but frown.
“It made sense, okay? If you ignore the science stuff.”
“You’re a doctor.” You quickly counter.
He rolls his eyes. “I mean, for the record, I believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life, so that’s that.”
“Ugh,” you flop down on the bed again, falling back on Jungkook’s body. He scoots closer to hold you close against him, which you welcome casually. You don’t even know how you got this comfortable, but you’re glad either way. He feels so big and warm. “Are you going to show me that Youtube video of top ten UFO sightings around the world again?”
“You don’t think that Nebraska one looked very real?” Jungkook says with disbelief.
“No,” you turn to Jungkook only to find him already looking at you. “They were college boys, Jungkook. They probably just turned nineteen or something. Have you seen their eyes in the video? It was pixelated as hell, but if I were that high—”
Jungkook suddenly snorts, effectively cutting you off. “Ohh, if you were that high?”
You jab at his chest which only makes him laugh louder.
“I tried my first weed with you.” You pout.
Jungkook catches the stray hair that falls from behind your ear and hides it back there again as he says, “You coughed nonstop and had a sore-throat the next day. You have baby lungs.”
You roll your eyes and go back to lying on his arm. “Whatever. All of that still doesn’t justify that we’re not soulmates.”
“The concept of soulmates doesn’t even have a scientific explanation.” Jungkook chuckles.
“No…? But there's psychological research about it; the attachment theory, look it up.”
“There’s also cognitive dissonance.” Jungkook pitches in.
“That’s so mean!” You gasp, but you know Jungkook’s only teasing when you see that he’s got that huge stupid grin on his face.
He apologizes in between his laughter, squeezing your waist a bit before he says, “Okay, okay. But what if you’re my soulmate, but I’m not yours?”
“That’s not how soulmate-ism works. Isn’t it nice to think that there’s like a system to it? Like if you’re my soulmate, then that would automatically make me your soulmate. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.” Your eyebrows knit together as you explain.
“I guess you’re right…” Then you hear him letting out a loud sigh. “For what it's worth, I think I’d be really happy if I was your soulmate.”
You smile against his pec after he says the words.
You like Jeon Jungkook. You like him so much it’s starting to feel unbearable.
There’s silence that hangs in the air for some time before you look up at Jungkook alarmingly. “Kook.” He doesn’t say anything. You lean on your elbow again to peer down at him, only to see that he’s now closed his eyes. “Jungkook.”
Finally, he stirs. But his eyes are still closed. “Hm?”
“Don’t sleep yet.”
“Uh-huh.” He gives your waist a brief squeeze again.
“I’m watching you.”
He chuckles. “What is it?”
“Let’s talk more.”
“How are you still not sleepy?”
“Because…” you drop your head down to his chest this time. “I want to know if you could ever —” you shrug, staring at his ceiling. “—cannibalize someone.”
“I like this. Conversation’s getting raunchy,” You hear him snorting through his breath. “Is this your pillowtalk?”
“Yes.”
“In that case, that’s an interesting question. I have never really thought about that.”
“Really? Never?”
“I’ve never been in any situation where I had to think about that, thank god.”
You laugh together. “Okay, but if you really had to, would you?”
“I don’t know… I’m a huge germaphobe, you know that. But I guess humans inherently have indomitable spirits and that conditions us to do whatever it takes to ensure our survival under extreme conditions. I don’t think I’m beyond that.”
You nod against his chest. Mindlessly, you start tracing random lines over his shirt, and you wait for Jungkook to pry your hand off or say something to stop you or ask you what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really say anything.
“It’s fascinating, right? The way we can just alter our brains and mindsets when we’re put under certain conditions. It’s amazing and weird at the same time how we work psychologically.”
“Exactly.” You feel Jungkook nodding.
“This is– of course this is not an extreme condition where I have to cannibalize someone,” you chuckle, which earns the same thing from Jungkook. You continue, “but you know when you’re experiencing a heartbreak and you think it’s the end of the world but then you wake up one day and suddenly you’re fine?
When Jungkook turns quiet, you know you’ve touched on a subject that feels personal.
You sigh. “I broke up with Mingyu awhile ago.”
“Oh.”
You hum. “Yeah… like a month ago?”
“Ah. I had a hunch.”
“But you didn’t ask,” you smile. “Well, anyway I just want you to know.”
Silence.
Then, “Do you feel… do you feel sad about it?”
“That’s what’s weird,” you say. “Because I don’t necessarily feel sad about the break-up, or the relationship. But it’s more like – the thought of breaking up with somebody again.” You chuckle, but there’s no humor to it. “I feel like you can only take so many break-ups in your life before you completely give up on love, you know? And it’s like… I don’t even get it… I mean, I’m decent, aren’t I? I can hold up a conversation, I make sense, I have a good job, and I don’t look bad – although, maybe that’s what’s wrong all along?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Am I ugly?”
“Hey,” Jungkook calls, and you feel him rising from his lying position just as you feel tears slowly streaming down your face.
You scold yourself for it – because what the hell even is this about? Just earlier you were talking about cannibalism and now you’re tearing up. Your emotions are all over the place, and it doesn’t help that Jungkook’s quick to dote on you, guiding your back as you both sit on the bed instead.
You inhale a sharp breath. “Look at me, I’m a mess,” you look at him through blurry eyes, hoping to look apologetic at the very least for barging in his room at fuckass o’clock and disturbing his packing and not noticing that he’s been in love with you for the past eight years. God, you want to say sorry for a lot of things. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not that deep.”
“If it’s bothering you then it’s a big deal. And I’m looking right at you,” Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders as he looks you in the eyes. “I’m looking at you and you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, and you’re the funniest person on Earth I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m so glad I met you.”
“Well… do you still feel that way when I only ever seem to come to you when I wanna vent or cry?” You ask, attempting to joke, but your voice breaks at the end.
It cracks a smile on Jungkook’s face though. “That’s not true at all. You also come to annoy me.”
Your laughter turns into a sob and that’s when Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his side, letting your head fall to his bicep and resting his chin on top of yours. It’s a barely-there gesture, but you’re pretty sure you feel him kiss the crown of your head.
“I know… I know we still have a lot to talk about, __. That we’re glossing over the important things. But I want to say sorry. I never said sorry about what happened back at the resort. For Mingyu. For doing what we did. I never said sorry about bombarding you with all those things and for taking so long to talk to you just because I was scared. But right now, I’m saying sorry. I have been completely unfair to you all this time.”
You quickly get out of his hold to look up at him. “No, you—”
“Just…” Jungkook cuts you off. “Just let me, okay? I know you’re gonna say none if it was my fault but you’re right about what you said. You’re right about doubting my feelings for you.”
“Jungkook…”
He nods. “I was in denial for the most part about my feelings for you. Ever since that thing happened with Jiyeon in college, I found it hard to trust somebody again. I slept around in my last year of college because it made me feel good about myself, made me think I was desirable and that someone cheating on me doesn’t mean shit when I had all those women who willingly slept with me. I was like that during my first year in med school, too. Couldn't really get serious with somebody because – because what if they do the same thing again?” Jungkook smiles bitterly. “And then… I met you. It started out as a crush and I was so sure it wasn’t going to be more than that, but then, we were in almost the same classes and we became friends,” Jungkook looks at you fondly and you almost melt in his arms. “And then I found myself liking you, and then I fell hard – really fucking hard,” he chuckles to himself. “It was during spring break of second year when I realized I was fucked and that I was in love with my best friend.”
“S-spring break?” You whisper, not sure what he meant.
“You don’t remember it?” Jungkook asks. He looks over your face and suddenly he’s caressing your cheek with his fingers. He swipes his thumb over it, wiping a stray tear away. He smiles before he says, “I caught the flu that time. I called you, but you were over at your parents. Then the next day I woke up and you were at my place telling me to take care of my health because how can I study medicine when my immune system is shit.”
“Oh, that…” you trail off. Suddenly, the fragments of that time become clear to you. The flu wasn’t that bad, only took him three days to fully recover.
“Yeah. But then that was also the time when you told me Eunwoo asked you to be his girlfriend and that you said yes.”
You inhale a shaky breath.
“I– I tried to forget about my feelings, because I didn’t want to harbor all those feelings for you when you already had a boyfriend. I went to all those dates in the hopes that I could feel something from someone. I tried to date Sora. It was good. It was a good partnership. But then… Eunwoo proposed, and I don’t know – I guess I deluded myself so bad that I have fully moved on from you since then – but then I was faced with the reality that you were going to spend your life with somebody else and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was so bad at handling my emotions. So stupid. Sora broke up with me because she figured I love you.”
You stare at him with your mouth agape. You would've never guessed why they broke up. You always thought they were so perfect for each other…
“And yeah, the break-up with Eunwoo happened and it took you two years to heal. I didn’t want to make a move because I simply didn’t want to be that kind of guy who takes advantage of a woman’s vulnerability after a break-up, you know? And we moved in together two years ago and…” You wait as he trails off. “I guess I just got comfortable with our set-up.”
“How do you mean?”
“It was like, everything I imagined us to be. Living together, sharing everything together. I thought no one could take that away from me, even if I didn’t ask you out. I’m not telling you to believe it, but I wasn’t with a lot of women for the past two years… yeah, sure, I dated them very briefly, but it was out of genuine attempt to find somebody for myself because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing. Being your best friend was and still is more important to me than being your boyfriend. I couldn’t care less how I can have you; I want you in any way – and if that meant being your platonic friend the rest of our time, then I was that. I am that. Even now.”
You can’t find your words. You’ve imagined your talk countless times in your head, but they all fell short to give you a taste of what the real thing would be like.
“So… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping my feelings for nearly eight years. I’m sorry I kept something important to you about Mingyu. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. Just… I apologize. I feel like I broke your trust.”
It’s quiet for a while before you break the silence.
“Jungkook,” You call him. He meets your gaze. It’s soft and it’s sweet and you realize he’s always looked at you like that. How could you have not noticed? “You’re very important to me.”
“I’m glad.” He smiles. A small one that makes him look all boyish. The urge to keep him in your pocket even though he’s much bigger than you becomes huge.
“And I want you in any way, too.” You say, staring intently at him.
You watch as Jungkook stares back at you. There’s an agonizing stretch of seconds when you see his eyes darting down from your eyes to your lips, and you don’t mean to bite the bottom one, suddenly feeling the thick tension rising in the air.
“Can I hug you?” You swallow the lump in your throat.
“I would really love that.”
You don’t know how it happens, but the last thing you see is Jungkook’s wall clock pointing to 3:15 am before you let your eyes rest.
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this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene of the chapter and the EPILOGUE or click on this [ link ]
#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#bts smut#bts fluff#jeon jungkook x reader#fic: tlp#awrkive
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Hi hi!!!! I’m super super sorry to bother you in such a stressful time but I have some things going on with a cat in my life and thought you’d have some ideas!!! My boyfriend recently picked up a female cat from his friend. This is his first ever cat, and the friend said they were strays he found as kittens and now keeps on his catio. The problem is that the friend said the female has always been kind of shy but explained that the two brothers were a lot more social and kind of butted her out of the way to get attention. So now she’s at my boyfriend’s house, she’s been there since Monday, and she won’t come out from under the bed at all during the day. She has been lightly exploring at night and has used her litter boxes a couple times, but last night she didn’t use them or eat or drink at all. He’s getting really worried and stressed since this is his first cat and I keep telling him to be patient. Is there anything else we can do to make her more comfortable or is it a waiting game? Do you think she’ll actually warm up or is she just going to be a cat that’s stressed out being in a house vs outside on the catio?
hello, hello! honestly, i'd rather talk about cats than politics any day. I don't know how to solve a country's myriad of problems, but i know cats.
so, it's really normal for cats to be shy at first, especially in a new environment. For a moment, imagine what it must be like: you are a small animal who's known only one place all your life. Suddenly, you are in a new place! With strangers! You're vaguely aware that they PROBABLY aren't harmful, but you're really not sure. Better to stay safe until you ARE sure.
It can take a cat up to three months to FULLY become comfortable in their new environment (tbh, it can take MUCH longer for some cats, but they tend to be extreme outliers). The fact that she's coming out at night to use her box and eat are VERY good signs.
So when i recommend is that your boyfriend spends some time on the floor. He doesn't need to interact directly with the cat--- in fact, I recommend he ignores her mostly. Just sit down on the floor with a puzzle, a book, a video game--- just anything that's quiet that lets him exist in the cat's environment for a little while. By just existing there, he can demonstrate that he's not a threat. He doesn't need to be there for like. a long time or anything. he can start out with small stretches of time and adjust as necessary.
She might start to come out slowly, but try to leave all interactions up to her. He can offer her little treats--- little bits of chicken (no seasoning; cheap roast chicken is a favorite, as long as it's the unseasoned bits. you can even just boil up chicken breast), temptations, churu (or anything similar) are all favorites and do pretty well. Leave the treats within her easy reach. As she starts to come closer, leave the treats closer to his leg or something. The idea is to get her to associate him with Tasty Delicious Things.
It's also fine if she doesn't eat the treats immediately while he's watching. Again, she's stressed and scared; she doesn't realize he doesn't mean any harm. She's just scared :( She's a very small cat in a very big world that's suddenly gotten a whole lot bigger.
He could also buy some feliway diffusers, but this can be a bit pricey. I can say that most cats react very well to them, but most cats react just as well to chicken, so let's start with the lower cost items.
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autistic headcanons: mike schmidt (five nights at freddy’s) 🔦💤
#i’m aware that a couple of these are a bit of a reach and/or can be explained by trauma or other things#but like all of my autism gifsets this is very much an ‘i’m autistic let me have this’ moment lmao#i’m super happy that so many others in the fandom headcanon him as autistic too!!!!#the schmidt siblings are the autism duo of all time#i might make one of these for abby sometime too!!#five nights at freddy’s#five nights at freddy's movie#five nights at freddy’s gif#five nights at freddy’s gifset#fnaf#fnaf movie#fnaf gif#fnaf gifset#mike schmidt#mike schmidt gif#mike schmidt gifset#autistic mike schmidt#autistic headcanon#autism headcanon#flashing gif#tw flashing#tw flashing gif#nem misc posts :]#nem gifs!
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THEY DONT KNOW IT - LN4
summary : She’s a popstar who’s being oggled by the same grid who doesn’t believe Lando has a chance with her. In a simple quiet conversation, Lando fixes that.
listen up : lando norris x popstar!reader. mentions of sex. reader wrote bed chem!!
word count : 629
⋆。‧˚⋆
“You hear who’s in the paddock today?” Oscar eyes Lando as he joins the group of drivers. They all look suspiciously giddy.
“No…?” Lando eyes them, It’s Carlos who’s grinning and speaks up first.
“Y/n L/n.” the spaniard whispers.
Lando raises a brow as Alex nods to his girlfriend talking to you, “She’s a super famous singer right? Lily loves her.”
“Very pop.” Charles adds in.
“Very hot.” Franco says as they all turn to him, “What? You were all thinking it.” a surge of jealousy goes through Lando. Obviously he knows people think you’re hot, he’s the fan club president. But Franco saying it makes him want to go over there and kiss you in front of the young driver.
Lando watches you move your hair behind your ear, assessing the little black dress you’ve got on. “Fuck.” is the only think Yuki can say.
“Hasn't she been to a couple races?” George adds, “For any reason or…” Lando wants to yell at them that you’re there for him.
“She’s a fan.” Charles says, “Hangs with Alex in the garage sometimes.”
You wonder if they know how obviously the group is looking at you. You turn and give them a little smile. Most of the guys look away except Lando, who waves.
“What the fuck?” Carlos makes a face.
“Dude-” Max laughs as Lando looks around at the group.
“What?”
“Give up now.” Alex shrugs.
“Excuse you?” Lando crosses his arms over his racing suit, “You think I don’t have a chance?” They all start laughing, “Fuck you, lot!”
Alex grins, “Don’t let netflix hear.”
Carlos slaps his hand onto his friends shoulder, “Mate… she’s just so- and you’re so… it’s not made to be.”
Lando just scoffs, “Don’t pout!” Max laughs, “I’m pretty sure she’s the only girl out of your reach.”
“You don’t know about Nadia?” Alex grins.
Max gives him a confused look but turns back to Lando, except when he does, he realizes he’s already gone and walking towards you.
You smile when you see Lando, he slips his arm around your waist and pulls you in for a quick hug, “Hi.” His eyes linger on you before smiling kindly at Lily.
“I’ll be back, Y/n. Lando keep your distance.” She points to the driver before walking away.
“The guys don’t think I have a chance with you.” He whispers into your ear, his hand still on your waist.
You laugh a bit, glancing at the men who are all staring at you two. “So naive.” he laughs a bit, tilting his head down.
A curl goes into his face and you resist the urge to push it back. “I’m happy you’re here.” this makes your cheeks go a bit pink. Funny, you’ve been sleeping together for months and he can say the tinest thing to get you to blush.
“I’m happy I'm here too. Win for me?”
“What do I get if I do?” His hand backs off your waist a bit, clearly aware of the eyes on you.
You look up at him, his eyes greener than ever, “Whatever you want?”
His brows go up, “Whatever?”
The corner of your mouth quirks, “Within reason.”
“Not much reason between the two of us.” You roll your eyes and back away from him so you’re no longer touching.
“Go run back to your friends and giggle about how a pretty girl kissed you.”
“But you didn’t-” He gets cut off by your lips on his cheek. He’s grinning ear to ear as you walk away, waving a bit.
When Lando walks back to the guys they’re gobsmacked, “Tell me you didn't just meet her today.” Charles practically pleads.
He laughs at their faces, “Have you ever heard the song, bed chem?”
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#f1 imagine#lando x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lando imagine#f1 fic
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hii! I really love and enjoy all of your writings, you are so amazing and talented!
I checked just to be sure before I ask if you could write about rafe being/having casual dominance towards a clumsy!reader but she doesn’t really notice she’s clumsy or a bit reckless?
i’m so sorry if this doesn’t make sense my english isn’t that good but it’s okay if you don’t want to this, I love your work anyway! thank you so much!
Clumsy Princess
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.5K
A/N: You are so sweet, thank you!
Masterlist
Rafe knows how to control his body. He is aware of every movement he does and how it affects and is affected by his environment. He is practically Spider-Man. Y/N, on the other hand, is the completely opposite. She bumbles around the world like a baby doe on freshly born legs. Her depth perception is severely lacking and it has led to a variety of bruises all over her body. However, ever since she started dating Rafe, the number of her accidents has dwindled.
———
The couple walks hand-in-hand around the aquarium, taking their time to look at the different exhibits. Rafe booked out the whole place, so they didn’t worry about other people being in the way. The first place she has wanted to go is to look at the turtle and they have been making their way to the animals for five minutes now. They finally spot the hard-shelled sea creatures and her face lights as bright as a star. She rushes to the tank while dragging him behind her. As soon as they get to the tank, he places the back of his hand against the glass around her height. She can’t question what he is doing because before she can, the momentum of her hurry to get to the glass causes her forehead to hit his hand. Her left hand reaches up to rub where a bump would have been forming if not for Rafe and she turns to him with a thankful smile. “Thank you, Baby.” She rises on her tippy toes to place a kiss on his lips.
———
Her hand is looped into his as they walk down the street after leaving the aquarium. They are heading to Chinatown to get something to eat. “And I told her that she was being mean…” The words Y/N is saying fade away from Rafe’s ears as he sees the street lamp coming up and he has a fortune-teller moment. He nods with a smile, pretending to listen. As they pass the lamp, he is sure to tug her to his side. She narrowly misses walking into the pole, yet she doesn’t notice and she continues on with her story. “She said I was the one at fault.” Rafe can now focus on his girlfriend’s words because there are no dangers in sight.
———
They get back home and she can’t wait to get to their room to watch Coco like Rafe said they could. He holds her hand whilst she stumbles over her shoes as she takes them off, but she lets go of it as she runs to the stairs. Rafe is right behind her. She rushes up the stairs and feels his hands on her waist. As he predicted, she was going too fast and would’ve missed the first step, which would’ve caused her to face plant right into the steps. She straightens up and looks at him with a sheepish grin. He returns the smile and rests his hand against her lower back to help her upstairs.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outer banks x reader#rafe#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron outer banks
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Theory of Gravity
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: Making small talk can be difficult with a crush.
Word Count: 1234
Genre: Fluff Oneshot
Content: Drinking, reader being awkward because she has a crush, flirting
Contrary to popular belief, snitching on the whereabouts of a very dangerous mobster in the bar you worked in and possibly getting killed or maimed in the process was not a good plan for a Friday night but to be completely honest, you had done worse things over a silly little crush.
Like back in college freshman year when you pretended to be into music biopics just so that the hot guy in your elective would think you two were meant to be.
So if anything, this was a pattern.
“Logan?” you said as you put his drink in front of him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Hm?”
“What was Galileo like?”
He blinked a couple of times, the familiar scowl that seemed to be etched on his handsome face getting deeper and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.
“Please tell me you’re joking,” he said. “I will lose all the belief I’ve never had in the first place in this country’s education system if you’re serious.”
You gave him a bright smile. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“I figured it was better than asking how the public took it when Newton came up with the theory of gravity.”
The look on his face couldn’t be described with anything but complete horror and you let out a laugh, then went to serve another customer before quickly making your way to him.
“I’m just messing with you,” you said, leaning against the bar as you stole a look at the mobster sitting by the table with his men, then to Wade who was very, very busy with Vanessa by the corner.
“You look nervous,” Logan pointed out, making your head whip up before you cleared your throat.
“Nah, not at all,” you said. “I’m just thinking that if I die tonight, I’ll die doing what I love.”
“Which is?”
Gazing at older men who couldn’t look less interested in me.
“Being surrounded by drunk people who want to give me money,” you said. “Not a bad way to go.”
He scoffed into his drink before taking a sip while you nibbled on your lip, shifting your weight.
“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said, his voice gruff. “We’re just waiting for his partner to show up, then we will deal with them both.”
You nodded your head. “Yeah. Sure, I know.”
“Do you?”
You nodded again, absentmindedly reaching out to play with the cocktail straw on the counter, painfully aware of his gaze on you that made your face burn.
“How’s grad school?”
…He remembered.
He remembered you saying that the last time he and Wade were here.
One simple observer would’ve thought he was on his knees proclaiming his undying love for you with the way your heartbeat went insane and his eyebrows rose as if he could hear it, but you quickly casted the thought away from your mind; that was surely impossible.
“Oh it’s going well!” you said, your voice going high-pitched for a moment. “Came for the hot professors, stayed for the education—I’m joking,” you added in a haste, waving a hand in the air. “I’m a very…very deep and intellectual individual.”
“Uh huh.”
“And none of my professors are hot,” you muttered and wiped at the damp spot on the counter with a napkin. “They should put that on the brochure if you ask me, it’s important information.”
“So you’ll be a doctor?”
“If by some miracle my dissertation goes through the jury,” you pointed out. “How about you? How’s your roommate situation with Wade going?”
He only grumbled something under his breath and you bit back a smile, then topped his drink.
“Thanks sweetheart.”
If there was one thing you hated the idea of more than dying was proving Freud right but it looked like you were going two for two tonight.
“So uh,” you said, trying to ignore the goosebumps rising on your arms because of his deep voice. “Hey, at least you have the place to yourself sometimes, no? When Wade is with Vanessa? Should give you some time to…bring someone home.”
And I volunteer as tribute.
He raised his brows, his unwavering gaze pinning you to your spot and you cleared your throat.
“Or—or someones,” you stammered. “Sky is the limit if you’re into that sort of thing. Now that it came up by the way, are…are you?”
“Am I bringing people home?” he asked as if he wanted to make sure that was what you were asking and you shrugged your shoulders, your face on fire.
“I’m just asking because, you know,” you began the sentence without having a clue on how you would finish it as usual. “I’m great at giving relationship advice, so if you were in a relationship I could be your own personal relationship coach.”
He pulled his brows together in confusion and you reached out to get the bowl full of peanut shells from his right just so that you could keep yourself busy, then turned the bowl over the garbage can.
“I’m not,” he said and you swallowed thickly.
“Who has the time for that these days, am I right?”
“Do you have—”
“Yes I have the time!” you cut him off, nodding your head in enthusiasm, your heart beating in your ears but he had already finished his sentence;
“…ice?”
You hoped to God tonight was the night you’d die because if that mobster in the corner didn’t shoot you, you were going to have to ask Wade to do it just to save you from this embarrassment.
“Oh,” you said after a beat as he stared at you. “Yeah—yeah I have ice, sorry.”
You rushed to get some ice and put it into his whiskey, biting inside your cheek and he cleared his throat.
“You don’t want to go out with me sweetheart.”
Well good news was that you had already made a fool of yourself so one could think the bar for your self-respect couldn’t get any lower, but boy oh boy you had already brought your metaphorical shovel.
“I disagree,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I would very much love to if you were interested.”
“You think I’m not interested?”
“I feel like I’d have a better chance at proving you’re not interested with dates and references than my own thesis,” you pointed out. “And that’s saying something—”
“I am interested,” he cut you off, making your eyes widen and you gawked at him, frozen in your spot. “Trust me, that’s not the problem here.”
“Am I getting the I’m too dangerous for you speech?” you heard yourself ask through disbelief. “Because screw that speech. Honestly, the only thing I’m focused on in here is if you—fuck!”
He pulled his brows together. “If I—?”
“No no!” you said as you pointed at the back door where two men were dragging Wade through. “Wade!”
Logan cussed under his breath as he shot up from his stool.
“Don’t go anywhere, we’ll talk about this later,” he told you and made his way to the back door while you heaved a sigh, leaning back to the counter as he stepped outside and you caught the sight of him grabbing a man by the neck before the door slammed shut. You pressed a hand over your chest, then tilted your head back with a groan.
“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “That was smooth.”
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#james howlett#fluff#logan howlett imagine#logan x you
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Patreon commission for @i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this
Request: I was thinking of doing a warlock x bar keep (maybe a minatour or orc, honestly dealers choice), but because the reader is a warlock her patron (a tentacle guy) is always watching, so she warns the bar keep thinking he will wanna stop, but he dosen’t. So while the bar keep and reader are having sex (in the closed bar), some tentacles from her patron come out and help. And maybe if possible have the patron speak to reader in her mind and just is super condensing and dirty. While the bar keep is super nice and praising. So reader warns orc that tentacle monster will be watching and interacting, but orc doesn't really care, or likes the idea!
A/N: The phrases in italics are said inside the reader and orc’s mind. Enjoy!
After closing
Orc x gn!tentacle monster x warlock fem!reader || tentacle sex, sharing is caring, exhibitionism (kinda?), semi-public sex, double penetration, dirty talk, (light) degradation
You were tending the bar, and all night long, an orc had been chatting you up when you weren’t busy. He was handsome and big, and looked good enough to eat. So when he asked: “Can I stay?”
You couldn’t do anything but to agree. “Yes, I’d like that.”
“Let me help you,” he offered as you cleaned the place, taking the broom and doing a quick but efficient job at cleaning most of the dirt on the floor. You weren’t too worried about it, looking at him move and flex was making you all kinds of hot and bothered.
When he finished his helping, you both meet at the table next to the back door. A part of you was hyper-aware of everything around you, of his body getting closer and the predatory shadow in his eyes. He breathed deeply in front of you, his nostrils flaring when he caught your desire in the air. He growled softly, and you whined. You loved your lovers growly.
He launched to kiss you when you softly stopped him with a hand on his chest. “I- I have to warn you, though.”
He kissed your cheek, your forehead, your jaw… “About what?” He asked between kisses, his hands traveling up and down your back, a bit closer to your ass with each stroke. You were slowly losing your mind, but you needed to inform him first, before they appeared.
“The patron…” You started, and your voice broke when he sucked on your neck, his tusks caressing your skin in the most tantalizing way. “He likes to watch and participate,” you finished when your brain came back.
That made him stop. “What?”
“I’m just giving you a heads up, they can appear at any moment and they… they like to participate,” you let out the last part in a whisper. You weren’t sure how he was going to take it, some people left after she told them. Some of them stayed and had the best night of their lives.
You knew he would be one of the second. “Participate, huh?” His smirk and the innuendo in his tone made you shiver in anticipation.
“They are very… enthusiastic.” That was an understatement, but you preferred him to discover that in due time.
His voice lowered a couple octaves as he said: “Are they gonna help me drive you senseless?” And growled a little, making your knees give up under you. He grabbed your ass and sat you on the table, the perfect height for his dick to rub against your clothed pussy. You groaned out loud and he chuckled.
“I don’t know, maybe.” But you knew they would, they had done it every time you dared to have sex at the bar. And if you were completely true to yourself, you’d accept that it was the main reason why you kept inviting some of the patrons to have sex after hours, so you could feel their tentacles over your body again.
“I’m in, I don’t mind sharing, especially if it’s a morsel such as yourself, so delectable.” As he talked he reached to touch your body, his hands finding the hem of your shirt, slipping underneath and touching your soft skin. Your skin was electrified, sending tiny sparks his way, making him shiver in response. “I fucking love sex with warlocks,” he said as he groped your boob, approaching your body and kissing your neck. You send another wave of electricity down his body, making him growl again as you giggled.
“I’m not the first, then?” You joked, not bothered at all by whatever his response might be as you pulled at his shirt and your mouths met. It was exhilarating, to have such a big monster over you, next to you. His green hands traveling over your body like you were a treasure. It was wonderful.
Things got heated pretty quick after that, both of you naked and grinding against each other between frantic kisses when you felt them. It was a tentacle across your ankle, but it rapidly ascended and joined your grinding, wrapping themselves around your orc’s dick and adding texture to it.
Such good sluts for me, the voice of your patron sounded inside your brain, and by the gasp your lover emitted, inside his, too. You two look great all needy grinding against each other, I love to watch that.
You both groaned as the tentacle squeezed his dick and rubbed the suckers against your dripping pussy. Another tentacle joined over the orc’s shoulder, closing around your neck as you gasped for air and parted the kiss. You threw your head back when a third and fourth tentacle groped your tits.
Look at these tits, so perfect to grope, I bet you’d love to be groped in the middle of a service. Yeah, you would… Maybe next time I would just fuck you when everyone is here. You’d like that? Their voice inside your brain was rough and condescending, sending shivers down your body as they kept talking. Of course you’d like that, you are a slut. And our orc friend here… He’s a slut, too. Your orc companion groaned loudly. Look at him all dark green, flustered because a tentacle monster is playing with him.
You looked at him just in time to see some tentacles caressing his body as you watched mesmerized. It was such a turn on to be at the mercy of a powerful tentacle monster… As you got fucked by anther monster, your body was vibrating with pent up energy as hands and tentacles touched you everywhere.
“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” You chanted as your orc companion groaned, his head thrown back as he was caressed by tentacles.
“Yes. Yes,” he was having problems of his own trying to align his dick with your pussy, the tentacles holding his hands away and sucking on his nipples. He cried out so loud you were worried someone could hear him from the outside, but a part of you found that even hotter. You tried to reach for his cock to do it yourself, but the tentacles stopped you, too.
You two are mine to play, you can’t decide when you do anything.
You were completely at their mercy, both of you were. You felt a tentacle caressing your asshole, probing and pushing lightly, making you moan loudly. Your orc lover wasn’t far behind, probably some tentacles doing the same to him. It was exhilarating to know he was also being fucked, that you two were nothing but toys. And judging by his moans, he thought so, too.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck… I’ve never- Nobody ever…” He tried, but his voice kept breaking with loud groans. By the time the tentacle breached your asshole, you had half of a brain-cell left. Your body melting against the table as the orc in front of you melted on top of you. His mouth was open in a silent cry as a tentacle breached him. “This is… this is… Oh, Goddess.”
Oh, they sound so good when they are virgins. Your patron chuckled inside your brain. Guess someone is going to discover the wonders of tentacle AND anal sex today.
You wanted to laugh, to agree with him, but you didn’t have time before you felt something against your pussy. The orc’s cock, but it wasn’t alone. The tentacle that was jerking him didn’t let go, it curled around him and helped him inside of you, adding girth and texture to his already huge dick. It broke into you with a pop, your opening accepting them like an offering from the gods.
Such a good slut taking everything I give you, everything we give to you. I love how slutty you get, how desperate when you are stuffed.
You felt everything. The suckers, the ridges, the huge tip of the orc’s cock against your G-spot right before the tentacle moved and latched a sucker there. You screamed so loud you felt your companions shiver inside of you. It was too much, too fast, too far, too tight. You felt fuller than ever, your asshole being fucked by a tentacle, and your pussy overflowing with the combination of your lovers, it was way better than anything you thought possible. It was way better than anything you’ve ever felt before.
“I’m going- I’m gonna… Oh fuck!” His broken cry was accompanied by warm come inside of you, making you scream as you precipitated over the edge with him. It was a blinding orgasm, so powerful and intense that you felt your brain melting inside your brain and your body electrifying itself. “You are glowing, fuck, fuck, you are glowing.” His voice was harsh after screaming, and you realized he was right. Your magic surfacing in the weirdest way when you came, making you glow like a street lamp in the dim interior of the bar.
You came so hard you had to glow? Pathetic. I bet I can make you cry to look even more pathetic than you already are. Such a slut for some monster dick and tentacles… You wanted to answer them, to say something, but their words made you moan, humiliation making you hot all over. Your orc friend wasn’t better, groaning as they kept talking. And you? An orc whore who’ve never been fucked and now is pushing his ass back into my tentacles… ridiculous. But I bet I can make you cry, too. I love when they cry.
And then the tentacles started moving again. Moving his body and his dick, moving themselves inside your assholes. They were playing with you two like you were toys for their entertainment, and you two were powerless to stop them. It was intoxicating.
You came. And he came.
And it happened again. And again. And again.
By the time the tentacle monster decided they didn’t want to play with you two anymore, you were like rag dolls over the table, completely spent and tired, dried of all pleasure in your body. You didn’t even know how much it lasted, but you could hear some rooster far away. It was probably close to dawn… They fucked you two all night long, they squeezed every single drop of pleasure inside of you and left you there when they got bored…
Bar opens again in a couple hours, if I were you I would get dressed. But if you don’t… I guess you’d be the spectacle of the night.
You glowed again, your body responding to their threat as your orc companion got up on shaky legs and got dressed. He kissed your forehead before leaving, telling you he’d be back. You wanted to giggle at his soft whisper, your patron had that effect.
And you couldn’t wait to do it all over again.
You can find more info on individual commissions (here) and Patreon commissions (here). Also you can find all other commissioned work in this masterlist.
#commission#monster commission#tentacle monster#tentacle monster x reader#tentacle monster x orc#tentacle monster x you#tentacle monster x warlock#orc#orc x you#orc x reader#orc x warlock#warlock#warlock reader#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster x human#teratophillia#monster x reader#terato#monster boyfriend#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster love#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft
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Jihoon lazy morning sex
You wake up entangled with each other from last night and what started out as innocent good morning kisses turns into his tongue in your mouth.
Gentle massages to your hips where he gripped you so hard you had faint bruising. Those turn into feeling you up and a tiredly groaned out. "Fuck, still so wet for me?"
That's all I've got. My brain is mush now
Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~1.2k
Warnings: lil bit of fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, bruises from night before felt but not seen, cockwarming
AN: in my head, this is the somewhere in the middle couple but you don't have to read that to read this (you should read that tho i think it's my fav work of mine, for jihoon at least)
Warmth is the first thing you register as you start to awaken. The warmth of the early morning sun streaming in through the curtains you forgot to close, the warmth of the duvet that covers your naked body, the warmth of an arm curled around your shoulders and a chest beneath your head, the heart inside of it beating steadily.
The chest vibrates, a low, satisfied hum filling your ears as Jihoon stirs. His arm tightens around you, his other hand taking hold of your waist and shifting you over until you rest fully on top of him in a straddle. Still sleepy, you lift your head and stare at him, watching as he blinks his eyes halfway open and smiles softly at you before puckering his lips.
Taking that for the request you know it to be, you inch up until you can press your mouth to his in a good morning kiss. It’s gentle, chaste, as are the three others you share immediately after. The next, however, is decidedly the opposite, his hand leaving your waist to cup your jaw and pull it down as his tongue slides between your lips.
The arm wrapped around your shoulders moves, his touch going first to the back of your neck where he squeezes gently before dragging his hand down the length of your spine, ending with his fingers gripping the flesh of your hip. The tips dig in, finding bruises you didn’t know he gave you, making you whimper into his mouth and reach down to cover his hand with yours.
“Sorry, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, immediately gentling his grasp and instead massaging at the fat of your hip with soothing fingers. He pets your soft skin, his hand inevitably meandering to your ass where he caresses and kneads before tugging the cheek to the side to open you up.
You gasp at the feeling, knowing what his destination is but not knowing how he’ll get there. His touch leaves your face, drifting down your body to skim between your legs, his fingers gliding when he drags them through your folds.
“Fuck, still so wet for me?” He groans raspily, exhaustion and lust evident in his voice.
“I‘m always wet for you, Jihoon,” you mumble back, long past denying it to him or to yourself.
“God, you get me hard so fuckin’ fast,” he shakes his head, dipping two of his fingers into your entrance as you feel his cock twitch beneath you. It’s stuck between your body and his, and if you could just get your hips up, you’d be able to sink down and let him fill you and then you wouldn’t feel empty like you do.
“I want you inside of me, please,” you beg before he decides to draw this out, well aware that if he gets it in his head to eat you out and/or fuck you with his fingers first, it’ll be an hour or more of sweet, terrible torture.
You don’t think you can wait that long, not when he’s hot and hard and leaking against you.
“I should stretch you out,” he says, sliding his fingers in as far as they go and scissoring them to push apart your walls.
“You fucked me less than twelve hours ago, I can take you now, I promise,” you plead quietly, consciously relaxing so he can feel for himself just how pliable you are. He moans like he can feel the difference, and maybe he can because he pulls his fingers out and returns his hands to your hips, grasping carefully this time.
“Go ahead, baby,” he murmurs, holding you up so you can reach down and align his cock with your opening, groaning in unison with you as your pussy swallows him inch by inch.
He always makes you feel so full, so whole, so complete, and sometimes, it’s enough to bring tears to your eyes. He knows you, though, knows you’re a bit of a cry baby so he doesn’t get concerned, just wraps one arm around your waist to hold you flush to his chest and fills the other hand with your ass cheek to help you move, his fingers digging in harshly.
You won’t mind having more sore spots later, not when they’re all evidence of him fucking you.
That’s what this is, even with you on top. You’re still not in control of anything, not the pace, not the intensity, not the depth, but that’s how you like it. You like that all you have to do is listen and be good, and he’ll take care of you like you know you deserve.
On the next roll of your hips, he thrusts up into you, hitting so deep, you swear you can feel him in your guts. It makes you cry out and squeeze your eyes shut, your nails clawing at his chest when he does it again. His abs tense against your stomach as he holds you in place and starts bucking into you, the rhythm of his hips almost lazy but the force behind them fierce.
He fucks you into some sort of trance, the wicked push of his hips and pull of his hands hypnotic, especially with how tired you still are from last night. You think you could even fall asleep like this if it didn’t feel so damn good, his cock dragging against every sweet spot you have as he slides in and out of you.
Your fatigue makes you even more susceptible to the pleasure, and when he works a hand between your hips and his and sets his fingertips on your clit, you know it’s over. He doesn’t even have to move his fingers, the rocking of your bodies providing enough stimulation that you’re already whining, already fluttering around him, already right there on the edge.
Jihoon can’t last in the mornings either, and you’re sure that as soon as you start to cum, he’ll follow you. It almost makes you want to hold out just so you can feel this bliss for a bit longer, but there’s also the option of breaking now, going back to sleep, and waking up to do it all over again.
You like that option, love it, in fact, so it’s easy to let the building wave of euphoria wash over you, a sharp gasp escaping your parted lips as your pussy ripples and squeezes around him. Just like you suspected he would, he groans raggedly and buries his face in your neck, his cock jumping against your walls as his cum spurts inside of you, filling you up to the brim.
The come down is slow, with syrupy sweet kisses and affectionate words being dreamily exchanged, bringing you closer and closer to slumber.
“Do you want to get up?” He asks quietly, grinning when you sleepily pout and answer, “No.”
“Good, me neither. Let’s just stay like this.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
#are these pictures two years old? yes#will i ever let go of them? no#esp when he never fucking posts selfies#he looks so round so soft i need to bite his cheeks#then i need him to **** me into the mattress#n e ways thank u for this anon#wanted to write woozi so bad for so long#✨emily writes✨#✨emily answers✨#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen fic#kpop smut#jihoon smut#jihoon x reader#woozi x reader#woozi smut
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A Trophy And A Ring | LN4
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: Lando wins the Singapore Grand Prix and you have a surprise planned for his third victory, leading him to finish the race with two rewards.
Author's Note: ok so i reeeaaallyyyy wanted to write for the less popular drivers but i thought of this a couple days after lando won singapore so here we are :)) kinda had a writer's block on this one so it's shorter than other stuff i wrote but i find it cute<3
The 2024 Singapore Grand Prix.
Second fastest in FP1, then fastest in both FP2 and FP3.
Pole position.
He was still ahead when they reached the first corner. And the second. And every other that followed.
After leading every lap and passing the chequered flag with a twenty seconds gap, Lando Norris was a three-times race winner.
This time, the fireworks were for him.
…..
It was always a good feeling when you were called in to do the post-race interviews, but even better when you got to interview your boyfriend after a victory. And when you thought about the little surprise you had planned for him, your smile expanded even more as you were beyond excited for Lando’s reaction. Before that could happen though, you had to interview Oscar and Max who completed the podium. They were both aware of your plan, and despite wishing they could’ve won the race, they were glad to know what was awaiting Lando for succeeding today.
‘Good luck’, they had both said to you when you were done talking to them. And now, this was the moment. Lando walked towards you after Max gave him the mic. He had such a pretty smile, your only thought was to kiss him right now. However, you had to keep it professional for a bit before you could put your grand plan in motion.
“Lando, congratulations on your third victory of the season! Can you talk me through today and how does racing with a dominant car feel?”
“Hi”, he simply said with the same happy smile he always arboured when facing you. “Thank you! It was an amazing race despite a few too many close calls”, he added with a laugh. “You know, I had a couple of little moments in the middle. But yeah, the car was incredible. I could push and we were flying the whole race, so yeah, it was very nice.”
“Are you okay? You seem out of breath.” Your girlfriend mode could only override the interviewer mode as you could hear Lando had trouble speaking.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. It was tough but all good”, he reassured you.
“The gap at the end, do you know what it was?”
“Yeah, like close to twenty seconds I think?” Lando wondered to which you nodded.
“That’s it,” you confirmed. “As you admitted yourself, you were sometimes really close to the wall – did you actually need to be pushing that hard given this gap that you had?”
“I mean, this wasn’t necessarily over pushing you know? I just wanted to have the biggest lead possible and not just a one second lead”, he explained.
“One second that kept you in front for the whole race after you pitted”, you stated.
“This was great indeed. See why I need the biggest gap possible?” You smiled at that which made Lando chuckle. “But yeah, I’m happy to get the maximum points today and to have Osc on the podium as well, he drove really well today so this was a very good day for the team also.”
“You’re now a three-times race winner, fantastic victory.”
“Thanks”, he replied before looking away. It seemed that even after being with you for so long, he was still blushing and becoming nervous whenever you’d compliment him.
“Last question before I let you go, okay?” Lando nodded and you tried to subtly put your hand in your pocket to get what you needed. “Well, there are actually two but it's the same thing. So do you know how we say the third time’s a charm?”
“Of course”, Lando said. “It’s my third victory and you’re here, so that means you were my good-luck charm.”
“Not exactly the compliment I was fishing for, but thank you.” With a look to the side, Oscar understood that this was the moment and approached you. He took the mic from you – but kept it at your level – while you finally pulled out a small box from your pocket. “So, we’ve been together for three years now and as we’ve been saying, this is the third time you win a race. Therefore I have a little gift for you.”
Lando was a bit confused at your words, until he wasn’t anymore when you got down on one knee. Oscar followed by squatting down next to you, so you could still keep talking into the mic – this was very much needed as the crowd began cheering so loud that Lando would’ve had a hard time hearing you otherwise.
“Lando”, you called to him before deeply inhaling. “Six years in Formula One, six poles, and three wins. Would you do the honour of marrying me, even though I don’t even have my driving licence?”
Unable to speak, Lando could only nod before he pulled you up so that you could stand in front of him. He cleared his throat in order to find his voice again, and was finally able to answer your question.
“I will absolutely marry you, yes! Even if you’re my passenger princess ‘till we die.”
“Wow, that’s very generous of you.” You let out a chuckle which made Lando smile.
Right now, the camera was focused on Lando’s fond expression which enabled the thousands of people present at the track as well as the thousand others watching from home to see how in love the man was with you.
Stepping back, you were now taking the ring from its box before slipping it on Lando’s finger while he looked down at the gesture. He was close to tears and he could feel his eyes start watering from the emotion. Noticing, you quickly wiped his cheeks and as you still had your hands cradling his face, you figured it was a good time to pull him down in a kiss to celebrate your engagement. He immediately kissed back while pulling you closer to him as his hands instinctively reached for your hips.
When you both pulled away, you and Lando hugged for a few seconds before you remembered you were still on camera with thousands of people watching your every move. After separating from your now fiancé, you got pulled into a hug from Oscar who was still next to you. One by one, the drivers went to congratulate you and Lando. Along with Max and Oscar, a couple others had been aware of your proposal and they had known what to expect if they were part of the podium when Lando’s third win was to happen.
After everyone had cheered for your and Lando’s engagement, the drivers could finally get ready for the podium while you could step down from your journalist duties and entirely focus on being a loving WAG.
…..
“So, how do you feel about winning both a trophy and a ring?” Oscar asked Lando when the two got into the cooldown room with Max.
“I’d say this is the best Grand Prix of my life”, Lando replied while looking down with a lovesick smile at the ring you had placed on his ring finger.
“And which one will you remember when someone mentions Singapore?” Max teased as he already knew the answer.
“The ring obviously,” Lando immediately said as he didn’t have to hesitate. “I can get more trophies in the future, but my girl– fiancée giving me a ring is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”
Smiling at Lando’s words, Oscar and Max were truly happy that you’d had the courage to propose in such a meaningful and public way – and they were also internally wishing you good luck in order to put up with Lando for God knows how many more years.
“Should I do the engagement party next time I win?” Lando wondered.
“NO!” Max and Oscar both answered.
“Wow, okay, fine.” Lando put his hands up in defence.
“First: you’re crazy if you think we’re letting you win one more time during this season”, Max argued. “Second: I’m sure she’d rather celebrate it in a more private setting.” Max knew you well and was certain today’s level of PDA wasn’t going to happen again before a while.
“Yeah”, Oscar agreed. “She loves you mate, but this was already a lot coming from her.”
“Damn, I get it. It was just a joke, don’t worry.”
“I’ll text her about it just to warn her”, Max added.
“Man it’s fine,” Lando sighed but still smiled at his friends’ words. “The idea is gone already, we’re good.”
Switching the conversation topic to the actual race they had done, the drivers simply waited to be called to the podium while watching some highlights shown to them on the screen.
One by one they then went outside under the fans’ cheers until it was Lando’s turn. As he was mindlessly waving at the people in parc fermé, his gaze was focused on its own task: locating you. And when he did, his mind was at peace. You were looking up at him with so much love in your eyes, Lando was still finding it hard to believe that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.
He could only think about how lucky he was to have you in his life, and he promised himself that he would always do his best to make you a happy wife and an even happier woman.
When it was time for the trophies to be handed out, Lando’s first reaction was to dedicate it to you as he pointed in your direction before showing off his hand with the finger that was harbouring the ring you had given him. After Lando, along with Max and Oscar, did the celebration – Lando obviously doing his signature champagne pop, pictures were being taken as the three drivers got next to each other. His eyes finding you once again, Lando winked at you when he saw you had taken your phone out to take a photo of your winner. Your only response was to blow him a kiss before you started to join the applause and cheers still going on around you.
You though about how you could watch him race forever; you knew how happy it made him – and you as well – but he was always even happier to win, especially when you were here to support him. You would never realise it though, but racing would never make him happier than being with you.
If a choice were to be made – you or his career, you’d think he'd choose his career, but he’d choose you in a heartbeat. In every universe, over and over again. He’d choose you.
..........
Hope y'all enjoyed this!! I'll fr do my best to try and write for other drivers that are less written about but as a papaya girlie (in a landoscar way not mclaren way) I'm v happy i got to do a lil lando fic
See you god knows when (unfortunately not even god knows bc idk myself lol) and good luck for surviving the last week and a half of break🫶🏻
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#f1#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula one#formula one x reader#lando norris x you#f1 x you#formula 1 x you#formula one x you#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you
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Haloooo!!! I wanted to request something but I jus wanna say how much i adore your workkksss😭 not to shade other writers but youre probably my fave out of them, theres just something about your writings thats so comforting and I love it!! Can I request a academic rival trope for Remus and reader??🥹 Im excited to read it!! Thank you!!🫶
I'm so glad you enjoy them my love!! Thank you for requesting <3
cw: mention of skipping meals (never fear it is remedied)
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
Remus is the only other person in the library. You’ve been hopelessly aware of him since he’d sat down four tables away from you an hour ago, and you’re positive he’s being distracting on purpose, because no one really eats chocolate like that.
It’s abominable and should be punishable by death, honestly, the way he’s getting brown smudges all over the pages of his book. He’ll pop a chocolate in his mouth, let it get all melty in there, then slowly suck the remnants off each of his fingers, the movement distracted and tantalizing. Brow furrowed and eyes sharp, he looks entirely absorbed by his studies.
You wish you could say the same.
You’ve read the same page four times now, and the information keeps bouncing off your brain like someone’s put an invisible shield around it. Your eyes burn slightly, your back aches from too long spent in this wooden chair, but you need to know this stuff by tomorrow. Somehow, you need to make yourself retain it.
“Do you mind?”
You stop tapping the end of your pencil on the table, looking over at Remus. Your eyes narrow on instinct.
“Do you?”
He raises a brow. “I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes, you are. You keep smacking your lips, it’s irritating.” It’s not, really, it’s…it’s something else. It’s not conducive to a distraction-free study environment, that’s what it is. “Are you even allowed to have those in here?”
Remus sighs heavily. “Alright.”
Before you can figure out what he means by that, he’s pushing back his chair, walking over to join you at your table. He holds your gaze as he sits down and then pushes his chocolates towards you, seemingly expectant.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re clearly jealous. Go on, have a few.”
“I am not jealous.” You glare at him, arms folding over your book. It’s a habit, to hide the answers from him, but when you notice his gaze drop to the protective motion you feel silly. “And I’m not eating those. You’ve been licking your fingers and reaching in there, it’s gross.”
“Oh.” Remus retreats slightly, cheeks pinkening. “I didn’t realize I was, sorry.”
It’s gratifying to see him embarrassed. He’s the shyest of his group of friends (which is to say, he won’t automatically go and talk the ear off anyone within ten yards of him), but he goes about his day with their same unshakeable confidence, earned by social status and, admittedly, an intimidating academic prowess. Though you’ve always met each other head on in class, you’ve never felt up to par with him in any other respect. It’s nice to feel on a similar playing field. A bit endearing to see this tentative, boyish side to him, too.
It doesn’t last long enough.
There’s the barest shift in his expression, but you note with dread that familiar twinkle in Remus’ eyes. “Seems like you’ve been paying more attention to me than your book, hm?”
Yup, the endearment is gone.
“I’m basically done studying for the night anyway,” you lie through your teeth. “I was just finishing up.”
Remus’ brow lifts. He clearly doesn’t believe you. “Good for you. How long have you been here?”
“Since five.” It’s the truth this time, and you say it proudly. You want to show him that you work harder than him, are better, but your smugness fizzles out when he frowns.
“That long?” Remus asks, looking less defeated and more…troubled. “You must be exhausted. I was only going to put a couple of hours in.”
It nettles you, the implication that he can do better than you by studying half the time. You shrug with feigned insouciance. “I guess we’ll see who does better tomorrow.”
“Did you miss dinner?” He breezes right by the challenge, leaning forward as his brows come down. “You must have taken a break then.”
You cross your arms, appraising him as he does you. What is he playing at?
“I don’t take breaks, Remus.” I work hard. I play to win.
Remus hums, eyes still on you. It’s a struggle not to squirm under his gaze. After a minute, he sighs.
“Okay,” he says, starting to pack up his things. He puts his chocolates back in his bag. “I would offer you some of these, but you’ve made your thoughts about that known. I guess all that’s left is to go to the kitchens.”
You look up at him as he stands. “What are you talking about?”
“You can’t just not eat before the exam, love. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“To who?”
“To either of us. You need to do well, and I need to know you can do well so that I do well.” He leans against the table, a soft curve to his bottom lip. Like you’re friends. “Come on, grab your things.”
“I can’t just—” You shake your head incredulously. “I still have to study.”
“I thought you were done studying.”
“I—not—not all the way done,” you hedge, cheeks warming. Remus smiles like you’re funny.
“Let’s be done for tonight,” he says in a gentle tone. It’s not so different from his usual voice, and yet the sound of it caresses your nerves, lulling them to rest. “There’ll be time before the exam tomorrow. You’ve put in plenty of hours already, and those won’t do you any good without food and sleep.”
You bite the inside of your lip, considering this. Though you’ve tried to ignore it, you are tired. The bone-deep, heavy kind, from a week of exams that have left you nearly in tatters. You’re afraid that if you take to your bed now, getting out again may seem more trouble than it’s worth.
“And,” Remus adds offhandedly, “if beating my score is your goal, I like your odds. You’ve been studying all night, and I hardly opened my book a half hour ago.”
You blink up at him. Remus seems to realize you’re not going to start packing up yourself and, with a long-suffering sigh, begins doing it for you. “Why aren’t you staying to study?” you ask.
He shrugs. “I don’t mind going to the kitchens with you. And would you really go if I stayed here and studied?”
“No,” you answer honestly.
He gives you a wry, knowing look. “Then I suppose it’s a small price to pay.”
#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin academic rivals#academic rivals#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#marauders era#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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Faking It | L.DH
Summary: Haechan is a for-hire-boyfriend and gets a new client that likes to take the ‘boy’ off of ‘friend’
Genre: Romance, Hurt Comfort, Angst
Word Count: 4.1K
Warnings: insecurity
Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x Reader/OC
The boy walked at leisurely pace down the flowery path before him. His hands rested in his pockets as some petals from the blossoming trees blew in the wind. The soft, barely pink petals attempted to find a home in his hair as well as on his clothes.
He sighed to himself. His eyes barely able to stay open. Just one more date for the day…
He finally stumbled upon a girl sitting on a bench. A picnic basket rested in her lap. Her hair covered her face almost as a way to keep it a mystery. she seemed unaware of the boy’s presence as her attention remained on her phone in her hand.
Couples holding hands walked passed them, yet he felt as if they were the only ones there in that moment. Something in him begged to be seen but he knew it was no use. He finally decided to walk closer and bend down slightly next to the girl.
“Are you Y/n?” He asked, softly, yet it still startled her.
“Oh, Haechan.” She laughed, nervously.
Her face was no longer a mystery to him. She jumped up off the bench before she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as she mumbled some words that were muffled to him. His heart jumped in his chest at how pretty she was but she wasn’t aware of the slight pink in his cheeks as her eyes avoided his own. She brushed the back of her dress off with one hand while the other held onto the handle of the basket.
“I’m sorry, I was trying to not scare you.” He apologized. “I can take that for you.”
He reached out and took the basket from her.
“Thank you.” She blushed.
He smiled at her before reaching out to take her hand. He didn’t expect to have her pull it back in the matter of seconds. It left him dumbfounded as he hadn’t experienced that happening after all dates he had been on. She seemed to catch on to the lost look in his eyes.
“I know you’re a boyfriend for hire and everything but you don’t have to hold my hand.” She said with a small smile.
Something about it seemed so melancholy to him even though she was trying to be reassuring.
“I just…” She started. “Wanted company I guess, and I haven’t seen any friends for hire. So you don’t need to hold my hand and act like a boyfriend.”
“Okay.” He nodded, respecting her wishes.
There it was… She was lonely, as were most of his clients but she didn’t even want the fake romance she paid for. For some reason, that seemed much sadder than anything else to him.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as they walk side by side down the park’s path together. A small smile rested on her lips as she watched the blossoms above their heads. One of her hands held onto the other’s fingers. She didn’t look at him once.
They quickly found a picnic table to settled down at. Even after everything was set up and as they sat across from one another, watching the flower petals fall she never spoke a word. Donghyuck would intentionally stare to try and get a glimpse of the warm brown eyes she had once more.
“How old are you?” He asked to break the silence.
She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him blankly, almost like she was lost at him starting a conversation.
“21.” She answered.
“Do you go to school?” He followed up.
“Uh, yeah.” She nodded. “I do usually, but I’m out for the summer.”
“How did your classes go?”
He would just ask more once she finished responding. Every answer seemed to bring a little more to the surface bit by bit. The shy, quiet exterior dissipated quickly as he got her talking. She was bubbly and passionate once she got comfortable enough.
The smile and sparkle in his eye as she talked about her major in school was evident only to the strangers around them. They went on a walk around the stream that ran through the park after being done with the picnic.
Before the both of them knew it, the sun was setting which meant their time together was coming to an end. They stood across from each other on the bridge that overlooked the water. Donghyuck handed her the basket she brought back to her.
“Thank you.” She smiled and bowed a little to him.
It wasn’t just about the basket though.
“I guess our time has come to an end.” He sighed.
“I guess it has.” She responded, bittersweetly. “Thank you for the last couple of hours. Goodbye, Haechan.”
“I can walk you home.” He was quick to offer.
She was about to turn to walk the other way but his words made her stop in tracks. A familiar blank expression, her eyes rather wide as she looked at the boy.
“I don’t-“ She started.
“It wouldn’t cost anything.” He shook his head. “It’s just… the gentleman thing to do with the way the world is.”
The explanation made her chuckle.
“I’ll be fine.” She reassured. “I always am… It’s a very kind gesture though. Thank you again, Haechan. I’ll see you later.”
She walked away, never looking back and he watched as she disappeared into the distance with the light. Only then did he turn the other way to leave the park and get back to his own apartment. The whole walk home he was thinking of her very last words before she left.
‘I’ll see you later.’
Did she actually mean that? Or was that just her saying goodbye like other people do? He hated to admit he spent the night laying in his bed thinking about it. He hated admitting that he woke up late the next day because of it and it led to being late to a bunch of dates and many unhappy customers.
It wasn’t just the lack of punctuality, it was also how out of it he was with his customers. It made him so upset to be like this, over a client of all people too. He had never felt such a way over a customer let alone be been such a mess over one. Of course it was gonna cause a disturbance in his life.
For days, he waited to see a notification pop up on his phone from that girl to book him again. Every time his phone buzzed he’d look at it only to be sorely disappointed.
Just when he was about over it, her name popped up on his screen when a new date notification popped up on his phone. He rushed to open the app to see when it was scheduled and where.
It became a regular thing for her to book him every two weeks. The cycle became familiar and a comfort to him. He’d always have something to look forward to so he was always on his best behavior for his other clients.
He found himself getting giddy whenever her name would pop up. The type of giddy that would make one jump on their bed to scream in their pillow and kick their feet in the air out of joy. He would always happily open the booking to check where she wanted to go this time. He saw arcade this time around which they never had done before together.
He found himself in front of the claw machine, extremely focus on getting the plushie she wanted after several failed attempts. He adjusted the claw’s placement, tediously
“Am I ever gonna get a turn?” The girl huffed from behind him.
“If I lose this round, I promise it’s your turn.” He said as he turned around to look at her. “But I don’t lose so-“
She rolled her eyes, “You’ve lost five times already.”
“Just watch.”
He finally pressed the button which landed in the mount of stuffed animals. The claw grasped onto one plushie and moved back up. Both watched the mechanism intently as the object started to slip from the metal prongs so slowly. It was agonizing to see it fall before it could fully stop in the corner. It bounced off the plastic barrier and into the chute which had the both of them cheering along with the machine.
Donghyuck happily bent down to retrieve the pink elephant out of the compartment. It was soft and cool to the touch.
“For you, m’lady.” He smiled as he handed it to her.
“I don’t get a turn now.” She sighed, faking her sadness partly. “Thank you, Haechan. I love it.”
“It was fun getting it for you.” He confessed. “Now, let’s go get something to eat. Then we come back and you can finally get your turn.”
They managed to find a booth available in the food court portion of the arcade. They sat across each other and shared an order of fries with each other. It was quiet between the two of them but the atmosphere around them was bustling with conversation and others having fun. He looked up from the basket of fries in the middle of the table to see her enjoying a french fry dipped in ketchup.
“I’ve wanted to ask you something.” He said.
“And what’s that?” She responded.
“You have a pattern when you book an outing.” He pointed it. “It’s usually every two weeks. I kinda wonder why.”
“I get paid every two weeks.”
“Oh. I didn’t mean to-“
“No, it’s okay… I don’t have much of social battery for more than what I already do. I don’t like being alone weirdly enough and I don’t have many reliable friends. Having money is no fun for me when I don’t have anyone or anything to spend it on. That’s actually why I booked with you for the first time. I didn’t want to be alone in celebrating the end of my semester.”
His eyes remained on the pink elephant that sat in her lap. Her finders made their way to the ears of plushie, running over the fur.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.
“I said it was okay.” She laughed. “As I’ve told you before, I’ll be fine. I always am. I’m use to it anyway. I like spending time with you, its fun but I guess its your job to do that.”
Looking into her warm eyes, he could see a tinge of sadness in them even though she laughed and kept an upbeat tone to hide it.
He started to move over to other side of the booth that she sat on. He sat right next to her before he reached out to grab her phone that rested on the table and opened up the camera app. He held the phone up in the air to capture the both of them.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Taking a picture with our son.” He smirked.
“But I wanted a daughter.” She played along.
“They can just be our kid.”
He patted the elephant’s head and it took everything in him to remember it wasn’t an actual date. He wanted to kiss the top of her head so badly but he simply turned back around to face the lens with a smile as he snapped the picture.
“Can you open your phone?” He questioned as he handed her the phone. “I want to send it to myself.”
“Yeah.” She murmured before she unlocked the device and handed it back to him.
With that, he texted the picture to his number and thanked her while giving her the phone back. Donghyuck and her enjoyed the rest of their outing together before spilling ways until the next time she scheduled.
She forgot he had sent that image to him. The message sat on top of that app. He found himself staring at the number for days on end. He had net number and he debated on reaching out to her. It’s what he wanted. He didn’t want to have to wait to see her anymore…
unknown number: [image]
haechan: hey…
The random text showing up late in the evening startled to girl as she watched a show in the comfort of her bed. It was from a number, she didn’t recognize and then another came through
unknown number: hey
unknown number: y/n??
She opened up the messages to be greeted with the familiar picture. A wave of relief washed over her but then she was bombarded with confusion as well.
y/n: haechan’s?? that is you right?
haechan: yeah…
haechan: am i interrupting anything? can i call you?
y/n: is everything alright?
haechan: i think so… but i want to talk to you
y/n: call me
Within moments, her phone lit up in her hand with his call. She swiped right to pick up.
“Haechan?” She mumbled onto the phone.
The sound of her voice made his heart flutter as he laid in his bed looking up at his ceiling.
“Hey.” He said, softly.
“What’s going on?” She questioned.
“I don’t want you to book with me again.”
There was a moment of silence over the line. The girl felt her heartbreak almost hearing those words and being quiet in pain always proved to be better in the long run.
“I don’t want you to spend your money on me again.” He stated to break the absence. “I want to spend time with you and not for money.”
“If this is about what I said on our outing the other day-“ She spoke up.
“It’s not.” He interrupted. “I’ve been thinking for about this for some time now... Please tell me if I’m crossing a boundary but I like being around you. I don’t need money for it be rewarding because your presence is all I want.”
His arm rested over his eyes as he confessed to her. Another silence lingered in the air.
“I don’t know you though.” She reminded him in a melancholy tone.
He sat up in his bed at her words. She was right after all. He never gave many personal details of him or his life because part of his job is to focus on the client.
“I go by Haechan.” He introduced himself. “I’m 24 years old and I-“
“Things that aren’t on your profile.” She chuckled. “I know those things…”
“My full name is Lee Donghyuck. I was born on June 6th, 2000 at 10:30 in the morning in Seoul. My favorite colors are red and black but I have a mild form of color blindness. I have a bachelor’s degree in music composition. I’m allergic to cats. I bite my fingernails in my sleep sometimes. I still want to be a singer. Oh and I-“
The girl got rather lost quickly in the sea of information he was given her.
“Woah, slow down.” She laughed. “We can just… talk. I know it can be hard to give random facts about yourself… First off, do you want to be called Haechan or Donghyuck?”
“For you?” He asked. “Hyuck.”
“Okay, Hyuck.” She said, softly over the phone. “So you want to be a singer? Why don’t you tell me more about that passion, if you’d like.”
Neither of them expected to be on phone for hours with one another. They hadn’t even realized the clock striking three in the morning. Only then did they bid goodbye to one another because they both had to go to work in the morning.
While she no longer popped up on his phone in the way she previously had. He still scheduled time with her and instead of booking notifications, texts with her would come up instead. He would often get so excited about he had to turn off his phone whenever he went on one of his dates.
Every time they went out together, the girl out of habit would try to pay but every time Donghyuck would lightly slap her hand away from the bill. Whenever she wanted something, he’d get it for her without skipping a beat. He always loved to spoil his people and she had become just that. He also thought it was his turn to spoil her after all she spent on him over the course of months.
When she finally invited him over to where she lived, he saw every plushie he got for her all sat comfortably on her bed. The scene made his heart swell with an unexplainable joy.
Friendship was enough but of course, the boy yearn for more. He came to find out the girl adorned the moon and at nights they spent with one another at her place, he’d find himself with her on the balcony, stargazing.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked.
There was a brief moment of silence that had him turn his attention to her, wondering what took her so long to respond. She blankly stared at the sky before her expression turned into a small smile.
“It is.” She answered.
This night, she went inside rather quickly. He hadn’t seen her this quiet since the first time they met and he realized how much he hated the uncomfortable silence between them. He walked into her room, where she laid on her side with her back to him. The familiar pink elephant peeked over her arm to look at him.
He climbed into the bed next to her which had become a rather normal thing between them. Since her, he realized how many things he hated like how he would sleep in a cold, empty bed every night after being surrounded by dozens of people everyday. He come to realize that he wasn’t that different from her even in the beginning, they just happened to handle loneliness differently.
“Did I do something wrong?” Donghyuck whispered.
“No, not at all.” She mumbled back rather quickly. “Sorry, if I seem off… when you said that on the balcony I just ended up remembering something.”
“We’re friends now,” He reminded her.
Ah, that word…
“You can talk about if you want, you know?” He murmured.
“I’m okay. Thank you.” She responded, softly.
She turned over to face the boy again. She snuggled up next to him, her head resting on his chest as she closed her eyes once more. Yet another thing that had become normal between the two of them. The boy wrapped an arm around her as the other relaxed at his side.
It was interesting to see how far they had come in less than a year... Months ago, it's not like he didn't or couldn't imagine it but it would've never compared to the real thing. The closer he felt to her, the more dissatisfied he felt with his job.
Every date he had, he felt like he was playing a video game and while his job paired well with his socialable and talking skills, he didn't feel like himself. The only time he was one with his body was after hours when they'd meet up or talk.
"Am I too much?" She always asked. "I feel like I take up so much of your time and you never get anything in return for putting up with me."
"Never." He always answered back. "Being with you is enough."
It didn't matter how many times he said to her, that question would appear occasionally. Maybe she just liked hearing it and he didn't mind saying it.
Another one of his days went by, the only thing getting his through was that dissociative state he'd enter and looking forward to see her face once more. He'd always race over to her place which had become like a home to him.
That evening, he help the girl build a blanket fort similar to how kids usually do. They found each other under the sheets, giggling with one another. Seeing her laugh brought him back to reality in which they were just friends.
"I'm thinking of quitting." Donghyuck mentioned, abruptly.
The laughter died down.
"Huh? Why?" She questioned, assuming he was finally pursuing his music career after all the encouragement she gave him after that one faithful night months prior.
"Because..." He started, avoiding her eyes as he looked at his hands in his lap. "Of you."
Silent fell upon them.
"Ha ha, funny joke." She laughed. "No, for real, tell me the reason if you're comfortable."
"I did..." He looked up at her, the smile on her face dropped at his words. "It's not a joke. I just..."
She must’ve just thought it was him flirting like always.
“It’s not funny anymore, Haechan.”
She hadn’t called him that in awhile, it actually took him back. She quickly left through one of the openings and he was shortly behind. Outside the fort, she stood with her back to him, her arms crossed.
“I’m being serious when I say this,” He started. “I like you.”
“Don’t do this to me…” She sighed. “I’ve dealt with this enough in my life… Coming from a friend, it hurts so much worse.”
When she turned around to face him, tears streamed down her cheeks, the whites of her eyes were red as her lips quivered to prevent more from slipping.
“Y/n…” He murmured with a softened look as he tried to rush to her side.
She back away with her hand up as soon as he came toward her. The girl couldn’t even look him in the eye.
“I knew this was a bad idea.” She admitted. “It was so easy to remind myself it wasn’t real at all when I was paying for your time… It was so easy to keep that barrier up with money. I couldn’t get hurt that way.”
“I’m sorry if I ruined things…” He apologized. “I really don’t know what you’re referring to when you say it wasn’t real because it has been, since the very beginning. Since the moment I met you, I’ve like you.”
There was this look of hopelessness and disbelief in her eyes as she looked at the boy in front of her. He pleaded silently to her, there must of been some type of misunderstanding, at least he hoped it was that.
“Are we not too old for this game?” She mumbled.
“What game?” He asked. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Please, just tell me what is it.”
She had him begging and graveling on his knees, quite literally as he crawled over to take one of her hands in both of his own.
“You’re doing this for a laugh.” She said, bitterly. “Because why would someone like me ever think you’d be interested in me?”
“Someone like you?” He questioned. “Now I know you’re talking crazy. The real question is why would someone like me not be interested in you. And to answer, we’re both in our 20’s we’re well passed that stupid trick. You’ve known me long enough, you really think I would pull that?”
That cheery demeanor of his was quick to come back as he stood up and took both of her hands in his. Something about it soothed the girl instantly.
“I like you, a lot.” He admitted to her. “You’ve never left my since that day months ago and I want you to be the only woman in my life. That’s why I want to quit. Every one of those stupid dates I go on, all I think about is you but it’s not you and that breaks my heart.”
“Hyuck…” She uttered as she looked at him with tearful eyes.
“Tell me you feel too?” He asked as his hands moved to cup her face gently.
Her hands came to rest on top of his own, “Of course I have.”
He smiled at her and couldn’t help but stare so lovingly at her while he wiped away the tears that spilled down. Something still lingered between the two of them. A question unanswered that hung in air.
“Will you kiss me?” She whispered to him, only inching closer.
“I wanted to for so long…” He confessed.
He gently closed the space between them. A taste of salt from prior tears mixed with the softness and warmth of her lips left him with a sense of sweetness he couldn’t get enough of.
He broke away for a moment, only to come back to leave a few more light kisses on her this time filled with a bit more passion.
So much for professionalism…
not proodfread. aesthyuckic © 2024. all rights reserved.
#why am i bad at endings#haechan#haechan imagines#haechan au#haechan scenarios#haechan x reader#haechan fanfiction#haechan fanfic#haechan drabbles#lee donghyuck#nct au#nct imagines#haechan imagine#nct dream imagines#haechan fics#haechan fluff#haechan angst#nct fanfic#nct fics#nct dream au#nct 127 imagines#nct imagine#nct 127 fanfic#nct 127 fic#nct 127 fics#nct dream fics#nct dream fanfic#nct dream scenarios#haechan blurb#haechan fic
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Mr Long Legs and Ms Pocket Size
Summary: Toto loves that his girlfriend has to cling to him like a koala whenever she wants to kiss him. OR how Y/n has to constantly pull off the highest heels just to stand next to her “giant” boyfriend.
A/N: I will add a small smau right below so stay tuned u guys!
Toto and his girlfriend, who he lovingly calls his 'short stack,' wake up every day with a smile on their faces. They start their day with a kiss, normally she would have to hold onto him just to give him a peck on the lip. As they go about their morning routine, Toto can't help but grin as he watches her attempt to reach things on high shelves, which is often caused by him because he often teases her by placing things on the top shelf that are out of her reach, knowing she would have to call him for the help.
“Damn you and your heights, who would put their everyday mugs on the highest place on the cupboard!”
“It’s not that high, Schatz. Look! It’s very much reachable. Well, compared to my size of course. Here you go.”
“New information, in case you don’t know… I am not your size”
“I’m pretty much aware of that, you are rather pocket-size, Liebe.”
His girlfriend playfully rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You know very well I'm not as tall as you, you oversized giant," she said with a hint of amusement.
"But I guess being so towering has its downside. You're constantly losing things behind the cabinets and on top of the fridge. I suppose height isn't everything." Toto chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"Height has its benefits, especially when it comes to pulling pranks on my short stack girl," he said while kissing her neck.
“Have you grown? Liebe.”
“Just for today, so pretty much yes.” Y/n grins then lifts her shoe high enough to reveal heels that make Toto’s jaw drop a little before he begins laughing hysterically.
“Gotta pull off these bad bitches right here so that the press can take a picture with both of us without cutting your legs out of the frame.”
“There’s no way you’re gonna survive the whole day with those on.”
“Watch me! Toto.”
“Please! For the sake of me, just wear something flatter, like trainers, or your flats.”
“Nope.” She said with the sound pop “p”.
Y/n is well aware that Toto enjoys the benefits of such a height gap, but it's enjoyable to tease him about being able to close the space on occasion.
"Shall we go?" Y/n asks making Toto sigh looking down at her feet again before nodding.
“If you ever feel any sort of discomfort please come to me right away. Yes? Liebe”
“Alright, Mr Long Legs”
Y/n confidently struts towards the door with Toto trailing behind her. As they step inside the paddock, they are immediately greeted by a swarm of press and fans clamouring to catch a glimpse of the famous couple. Toto watches in amazement as Y/n effortlessly strikes a series of poses, her confidence and poise perfectly fitting the larger-than-life persona she had adopted for the day. Despite her high heels, she didn't falter and instead embraced the spotlight with grace, leaving Toto in awe of her confidence and charisma. He also couldn't help but feel a little nervous at the idea of her wearing such high shoes all day, but his girlfriend was determined to make a statement.
“Someone is a bit taller today?” Lewis said chuckling.
“Yes, Lewis. I’m even at your head level today. Still not quite George’s height but one step at a time, right?”
“Impressive… But I prefer the tiny boss to be tiny. Because those heels can break your toes or something.”
“It’s quite hurtful now but don’t you dare tell Toto. I’m trying to stay above a little longer today. Maybe till the race ends, then I will take it off.”
“Promise?”
“Swear on my toes, Lewis. Now get in the car. “
As Toto listened to Y/n's exchange with Lewis, he couldn't help but feel a pang of worry deep in his chest, with a little pang of jealousy as he heard Lewis make the comment about preferring her to be tiny, but he quickly pushed it aside. In his eyes, his girlfriend was perfect no matter her height. He knew how determined and fierce she could be, but the thought of her hurting herself in those towering shoes left him feeling uneasy. As Lewis walked away, Toto approached Y/n with a small frown, as he gently lifted her foot and carefully removed her heeled shoes, he couldn't help but notice the slight tension in her expression. He could tell she was disappointed that her attempt to be "taller" had come to an abrupt end. But he knew that her safety and well-being were his top priority, and he wasn't willing to risk her getting injured just for the sake of appearing taller. As he lowered her feet back to the ground, Toto looked up at her with a mixture of concern and affection "You know," he began, his tone tender, "you're perfect just the way you are, Liebe. Whether you're towering in those shoes or not." He gently ran a hand up her slender leg, his touch affectionate. "I don't care one bit about your height. I just want you to be safe and comfortable. That's all that matters to me."
Y/n couldn't help but soften at Toto's words, her disappointment at having to remove the heels fading in the warm glow of his affection. "I know," she replied, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She reached down to brush a stray lock of hair out of his eyes, her touch gentle. "I just wanted to stand a bit taller for a change, you know? But I understand where you're coming from." She gave him a grin. "Next time, perhaps I will try on some wedges platform?”
liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and others
y/n_user: Can someone tell him to give me some of his height?
mercedesamgf1 we will try tiny boss
y/n_user Thanks admin! I appreciate ur help lewishamilton Can u tell him to save some for me also! Much needed it y/n_user Go find ur own! This is mine already
user_1 Mrs Long Legs now
user_2 Those shoes could kill
user_3 Can u save some for Yuki too
y/n_user Noted user_4 Tell Yuki to take it from his bf gasly
lilymhe Pretty heels for ma wifey
y/n_user Stop it wifey they're killlinggg meee lilymhe U can always sit on my lap wifey mercedesamgf1 Please stop calling my missus your wifey - toto user_1 the boss has joined the chat mic drop
user_5 Not toto using the company acc
liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and others
y/n_user photo dump and date night with my Mr Long Legs and he calls me his Ms Pocket Size so screw the heels
user_2 She looks so good!
user_3 THEY ARE THE POWER COUPLE!!
user_1 Dear mr future husband pls take note
lilymhe love you beautiful!
user_6 ATE and left NO CRUMBS
lewishamilton gorgeous - toto wolff
lewishamilton i don’t have instagram - toto wolff
y/n_user pls give lewis his ig acc back old man!
user: nOt the sign off by toto himself 😭😭
mercedesamgf1: finest couple ever! 😮💨
user admin— you’re so real for this omg user admin knows what’s up user can toto fight? user can’t fight for a championship that’s for sure
mercedesamgf1 the boss says you’re gorgeous
user GIVE THIS PERSON A RAISE FOR THEIR HARD WORK mercedesamgf1 so true
#f1#f1 blurb#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#fanfic#fanfiction#toto wolff#toto wolff fic#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff fanfic#toto wolff imagine#f1 smau#x yn#formula 1#lewis hamilton#formula 1 fluff#social media au#toto wolff x you#toto wolff x y/n#mercedes f1#sir lewis hamilton#mercedes amg petronas#f1 fluff#f1 fandom
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Hi Molly<3
How about captain Syverson and
“be still” - “i can’t” - “yes you can, do you want to find out what will happen if you don’t?”
morning cuddling with the love of your life
pairing: boyfriend!captain syverson x female reader
warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, morning sex, fingering (f receiving), finger sucking, breeding kink, dirty talk, praise kink, daddy kink, little bit of mommy kink, pet names (bunny), morning cuddles, established relationship taken to the next couple levels 👀
word count: 1,800ish
a/n: ahhh thank you so much for sending in this prompt—and for requesting my second favorite captain!! this one is just pure smut with a very fluffy ending, i hope y'all enjoy!! ♡♡
The sunny spring morning began, as all your mornings had since you’d started dating Captain Syverson, with some sleepy cuddling. You’d only been dating a few months, and he hadn’t moved in yet, but Sy always seemed to end up in your bed—even the nights he worked late—and you enjoyed him being there. You loved falling asleep in his arms and waking up to his warm comfort too much to say anything about it.
That morning, the sun was shining through your bedroom windows and casting a yellow glow over everything. But it was chilly beyond your blankets, the spring day not having yet been warmed by the sun, and you were happy to stay in bed. You were still half-asleep when your fingers started searching for Sy’s broad, warm body, pulling yourself closer once you found him, humming happily when he wrapped his thick, beefy arms around you.
You sighed contentedly with your face buried in his chest, your body settling into his comforting embrace as you breathed in the woodsy, familiar scent of his skin. The hair dusting across his burly chest tickled your cheeks pleasantly and you shifted closer, hitching your bare thigh over his hip. Because you wore only one of Sy’s t-shirts, your uncovered core pressed to the soft cotton of Sy’s boxers, and you felt his bulge twitch against your warmth.
A little shiver raced down your spine, but you were still too sleepy to do anything about the length hardening between your thighs. Besides, Sy didn’t seem inclined to take things further yet either, as he rumbled a deep snore.
The both of you dozed for a little while, until a deep, reverberating groan in Sy’s chest roused you again. It was only then that you discovered your hips were rocking gently against your boyfriend’s cock, stirring up a heat that crashed through your body as soon as you became aware. A soft gasp left your lips, and Sy groaned louder, knowing you were awake.
“Ya gotta stop, or ‘m not gonna be able to let ya sleep anymore, bunny,” Sy rumbled, his voice far too warm with sleepy pleasure to sound the least bit warning. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his beard tickling your skin, and you smiled into his chest, enjoying the heat curling deliciously through your body.
Stretching up, you reached blindly for Sy’s mouth, your eyes still closed and, after some fumbling, managed to kiss your boyfriend good morning. His arms squeezed you tightly as you kissed lazily, knowing you had all the time in the world to spend the morning in bed together.
“Maybe I’m done sleeping, daddy,” you murmured against his mouth when you broke the kiss. You rolled your body more purposefully, grinding your naked pussy against the bulge in Sy’s boxers and delighted in his grunt of pleasure. “Maybe I wanna feel you stuff that big cock of yours deep in my needy pussy.”
Sy rumbled a chastising sound. “Christ, the mouth ya got on ya, bunny,” he muttered. Still, he slid his big hand down between your bodies, cupping your pussy possessively and thrusting two fingers inside to test your readiness. You were wet and slick for him, and he dragged a moan from your lips while he fucked you. His tone managed some menace as he growled, “Maybe I should shove my cock into that filthy mouth of yours and show you what dirty girls get for rilin’ up their daddies.”
“Nooo, please,” you begged, pouting up at him and fluttering your lashes in the way that had Sy’s cock twitching against your thigh, his precum leaking onto your soft skin. “I’m already so wet for you, daddy, would you really deny me when my tight little hole is dripping and begging for you?”
With a tortured groan, Sy rolled you onto your back, his hips settling between your thighs and pushing you open wide with his broad body. Pulling his fingers from your pussy, he slipped them into your mouth, and you eagerly sucked your own arousal from his skin.
“Good girl,” he rumbled, the hint of a smile curving his mouth.
While you were busy cleaning his fingers, Sy shoved his boxers down and lined up his cock with your entrance. He smacked your messy folds with the heavy head of his cock, watching as your eyes went heavy lidded and you moaned around his fingers. He removed them from your mouth and grinned when you let out a desperate whine.
“Daddy, please,” you begged on a gasp, writhing beneath your boyfriend’s broad form.
Thankfully, Sy wasn’t interested in any more teasing and he pushed into your needy, aching hole. Your back arched up off the bed and you let out a sharp cry, enjoying the feeling of his thick cock stretching out your tight cunt. No matter how many times he fucked you, it always felt like Sy was pressing the air from your lungs and rearranging your insides to make room to accomodate his fat cock.
“Feel so fucking good, bunny,” Sy groaned when he was buried inside you, his balls pressing against your ass. For a long moment, he stayed there, his eyes closing like he was savoring the tight warmth of your body. “Christ, I could live in your cunt—ya feel like you were made for me.”
He was so big and hard and hot inside you that you couldn’t stop yourself from squirming, your knees climbing his sides so he could push even deeper into your cunt. The tip of his cock kissed your cervix and you moaned loudly, your inner walls gripping his hard length like your body wanted to suck him even deeper. You were practically folded in half beneath the beefy body of your boyfriend, but it wasn’t enough, you needed him to move, to fuck you—to empty his balls into you and fill you up with his seed.
“Be still.” The words were little more than an unintelligible growl from your Sy’s mouth.
You whimpered, your hips rocking up against him, fucking yourself on his cock ever so slightly. Even if you wanted to stop, you didn’t think it was possible—not when you needed him so badly. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can, do you want to find out what will happen if you don’t?” Sy’s hand gripped your face, his fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. “If you don’t stop, I’m not going to be able to hold back,” he warned, his face grim with barely leashed desire. “I’m gonna flood your unprotected pussy with my come and I’m gonna knock you up—is that what you want?”
Even if you’d wanted to lie and tell him it wasn’t at all what you wanted, your body answered Sy’s question for you, your cunt squeezing his cock even harder, like you were wordlessly begging him to put a baby in your belly. But you knew your boyfriend would never do anything if you didn’t say the words, so you forced your mind to focus through the pleasure and delirious need to get the words out.
“I want it, daddy,” you admitted on a whimper, crying out when Sy pulled back, only to surge forward and make your whole body shake with the force of his thrust. With your confession out in the open between you, it seemed to loosen your tongue and a flood of words fell from your lips. “I want you to knock me up, I want you to put a baby in me—your baby, Sy—I want you to make me a mommy, please, daddy!”
“Jesus christ, bunny,” Sy ground out as he pounded into you, his hips slapping against your thighs while he thrust deep into your cunt. “Ya want daddy to breed you—ya wanna be daddy’s good little breeding bunny, huh?”
“Yes, yes yes,” you cried, gripping Sy’s broad shoulders, your cunt squeezing his cock. You were so close. “Breed me, daddy—Sy, please—please!”
“Fuck,” he grunted, pausing to reposition his hips. Then he was grinding against your clit with every brutal thrust into your cunt and it wasn’t long before you screamed your release. Your whole body clenched tight, making Sy groan like he was in pain as your pussy gripped his cock so hard, his release quickly followed yours.
Sy captured your lips in a messy kiss, his beard burning your cheeks and chin as hips stilled. You felt his cock twitch deep in your fluttering cunt, and the rush of his come overflowing your pussy, dripping down your ass. You shivered and moaned into Sy’s mouth, your hands clinging to his shoulders and neck while your bodies came together in the most primal way possible.
When you were finally sated and the last of his come had been wrung from his cock, Sy rolled over onto his back, taking you with him. Your bodies were still connected, the evidence of your releases making a mess of the both of you. You sighed contentedly and snuggled into Sy’s chest, a happy smile on your face.
“I s’pose I should officially move in, huh?” Sy asked, a bit of playfulness seeping into his deep, satisfied drawl.
“You better,” you muttered, putting a little poutiness into the words, which made Sy chuckle. Pushing yourself up, you gave Sy a kiss before pulling away and shooting him a stern look. “Then you might wanna start thinking about putting a ring on my finger,” you said pointedly, arching one of your brows.
Sy grinned so wide, it made his beard twitch. Without looking away from you, he opened the bedside table drawer and pulled something out. You didn’t see what it was until you felt him slip something onto your left ring finger. With a gasp, you finally looked away to see the pretty engagement ring he’d just put on you.
“Way ahead o’ ya, bunny,” he murmured, tipping your chin to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “Assuming it’s a yes, of course.”
You snorted. “Of course, it’s a yes,” you said, a giggle of joy in your tone. Then you kissed him again—and again and again and again.
Eventually, you settled back down on Sy’s chest, unable to keep your eyes off the ring, turning your hand this way and that so you could admire the way it sparkled so prettily in the bright morning sunshine. Already, you were picturing a spring wedding—Sy would look so handsome in a suit beneath an arch of spring flowers…
Your head spun a little with how much your life had changed on that spring morning, but you couldn’t be happier. You were going to become Mrs. Syverson and start a family with your captain—but the best part was that you’d get to start every morning cuddling with the love of your life.
And you couldn’t wait.
#witchywithwhiskey's springtime fun#captain syverson#captain syverson fanfiction#captain syverson x reader#captain syverson x you#captain syverson smut#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill smut#henry cavill#henry cavill characters#witchywithwhiskeywork#jamneuromain#established relationship
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Baby please (negative, be positive)
Let me break our hearts for a bit. I think we’ve all seen the other side of this where Nanami is… very excited for the process of children, if you catch my drift lol but what about the other side? What about when there’s a large amount of negative tests followed by fertility issues, and the partner feels every single overwhelming emotion about their body and their struggle? Note: If you have struggled or are struggling with fertility, this may not be for you. I have other fluffier/cute/positive posts and so many great accounts have amazing stories, so take care of yourself and maybe read those instead. I’ll immediately follow this up with a cuter post <3 If you know anyone who may be struggling, be the help they may need and start by simply listening. I am aware from experiences with close family and friends that fertility issues do not always have a happy ending, but this fictional story will end as a hopeful one. If you decide to read this, thank you. If not, I’ll see you on the next post babes 🖤 Warnings and tags: nanami kento x fem!reader, fertility issues, sad, angst, comforting nanami, hopeful and happy ending ~3.0k words
You lay in bed in a fetal position in the darkness of your home. You curled your body as much as you could as you let the tears fall. You were tired of the loud sobbing and your body and throat could not handle another sob. But the tears did not stop. You felt a wet spot underneath your head and you shift your head forward to avoid the cold spot. When you finally think that the tears are running out, you hear Nanami’s car pulling into the driveway. You drag the bed throw to cover yourself and wipe the new tears. You weren’t scared of Nanami’s reaction, he had held and taken care of you after the past tests, but you were scared of any underlying disappointment.
“God, I’m trying. I’m trying, I’m trying,” you let out one last sob before Nanami enters the house.
You hear the key enter the lock and you quickly wipe your tears and cover most of your face with the blanket. You hear his every movement and you can almost see exactly what he’s doing as he moves around the house.
It was not uncommon for Nanami to come home to a dark house. He knew you were a napper and he actually enjoyed waking you up after making dinner. Something about your sleepy eyes while eating dinner and sighing after each delicious bite made his heart flutter. One of the smaller things you did that he absolutely adored. He turns on the hallway light and peeks into the bedroom to see you in bed in the dark. The house feels colder than usual so Nanami turns on the heater and heads into the room to put a thicker blanket on you. He rubs and kisses your hair before heading out and closing the bedroom door enough to only leave a sliver opened.
Nanami grabs extra clothes from the laundry room to change before heading to the kitchen to start dinner.
As Nanami quickly glances into the trash after throwing out veggie scraps, he notices the familiar blue box and the tips of two sticks peeking out. He feels his heart stop for a second, but reaches for a napkin before digging into the can to move the box to read it. Another pregnancy test. Nanami reaches for the test sticks and immediately sees one single line on the first and one bold ‘Not Pregnant’ on the second. His heart rate speeds up and he immediately wants to run to you but he’s reminded of your devastation the last time you got a negative. He had never seen you so upset and had to convince you to let him call your manager as your emergency contact to let them know you would be out for the next couple days. Nanami puts the sticks back and covers the tests and box with the napkin and vegetable scraps. He turns off the stove and washes his hands before heading back to the room.
Without the hallway light on, you could not tell if the door was fully opened or closed. You didn’t care either way, you just wanted to be in the dark and not face Nanami yet. You moved the blankets over your head again to return to your safe space. You begin to take slow deep breaths, slow inhale, slow exhale. Slow inhale, slow exhale. Slow inhale, slow exhale. It is not the quietest breathing exercise so you cannot hear Nanami slowly open the door and walk into the room. He sees the familiar sight, a bundle shaped like you with the blankets moving to the sound of your breathing. He softly puts a knee on the bed before crawling over to you. The movement on the bed stopped your breathing completely and you hoped, no -- you prayed, that you didn’t forget to cover the tests.
“My love,” Nanami says just above a whisper before softly wrapping himself around you, while making sure he does not burst your bubble within the safety of your blanket. He feels your body shudder once his arms are completely wrapped around you and gives you a moment to calm down. Once he feels your breathing even out again, he taps on the blanket and asks if he could come in. You loosen the grasp on the blanket and he slips underneath to hug you from behind.
You thought you had finally run out of tears, but feeling Nanami’s arms around you and his scent so close for the first time that evening, you felt them gather again. Thank the heavens that it was dark and he was not facing you because you felt your face contort in a terribly painful way followed by the loudest sobs to have ever left your body. Nanami pulls you in unbelievably close, as close as he would when your anxiety left you shaking and desperate. You start writhing in what feels like emotional agony and he pushes his entire body weight to your back, pinning you down. It was something he had learned to do after years of being together. You would jokingly call Nanami your human weighted blanket but you were thankful that he could detect when you needed to feel him.
“Two years, Ken, two fucking years,” you let out between sobs, “why can’t I do it, Ken? Why can’t I--” Your words cut short.
“Shh shh, no no no, baby, please. Not you, I’m sorry, please don’t think that. We can do it, there’s more we can do,” Nanami rubs your arms and kisses your neck and shoulders, “Please, I promise there’s more. It’s ok, it’ll be ok. We’ll be ok.”
Nanami wasn’t sure what he was saying, and to be honest, he knew he would say anything that could help you. But what would? He didn’t know what exactly to say after so many negatives. On the other hand, you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted to hear after so many negatives.
Time flew by underneath that blanket. Nanami had eventually moved the blanket down to let you breathe cool air after a layer of sweat covered you. He ran his fingers through your hair to try to cool you down and shushed and hummed against your skin while he still held you. You could feel your back and his front wet with both of your sweat and the spot underneath your head drenched with a much larger spot of your tears.
You don’t know what time it is and you don’t even have the energy to tilt your head up to look at the clock. All you know is that you have finally stopped sobbing and there really was nothing left inside you.
Nanami moves the hair from the nape of your neck and plants the softest kiss. “Let’s take a break.”
You turn in his arms, eyes wide and thinking, a break? From this… from us?
He could see the gears turning and panic in your eyes before hugging you again from your side and saying, “No no, baby not that break. Never. Never never, I promise. I mean from the tests. Let’s stop buying and taking any tests. Let’s toss any extra ones around the house, too.”
Your heart knew that Nanami adored you and would not leave you, but your foggy brain that was convincing you that you were not enough left you thinking he would leave. The thought lasted a second, but the panic was unbearable.
You shift to face Nanami and tightly hug him. So tight. He felt as if you were hugging him in fear of him running away. He knew of "men" that would leave their partners after fertility issues and he detested every single one of those disgusting beings that dared take space as a bag of bones roaming the earth. He could never leave you, especially for something nobody had any control of. He loved you, adored you, and with or without certain possibilities, he wanted to be there with you.
Nanami planned to see your crows feet and smile lines deepen. He wanted to retire as soon as you both could and travel to see everything together. He wanted to look at your joined hands and notice the sun spots and new wrinkles. He wanted to see your entire face wrinkle and your steps become slower. He wanted to dance with you in the middle of the kitchen and feel your heartbeat match his. He wanted it all and he needed to remind you, even if it wasn’t with words at that exact moment. Nanami hugs you back like he had before in response to your own bone-crunching embrace.
You feel defeated, but loved by the man that said ‘I do’ to you and promised everything for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health. You finally nod to his request.
———
You wake up early that morning with the driest throat and what feels like the world’s puffiest eyes. You look at the clock: 4:52am. Nanami is beside you, but you see he fell asleep in a sitting position against his pillows with his laptop on his lap. You feel a small towel beside your head and reach up to feel a folded cold towel. Nanami would always put a cold towel over your eyes if you fell asleep crying. The cold towel didn’t happen often, but it seemed like he always knew what to do even if he didn’t have the words to help at that moment. Your clothes had been changed to a large shirt that you had stolen from Nanami when you lived separately, but he let you keep.
You sit up to remove the laptop from his lap and gently lean him down to bed. As he’s shifting his body, the touch pad is slightly moved and his laptop is turned back on. You turn your head to avoid your sensitive eyes looking at the bright light and turn down the brightness. You look at the screen to decide if you should just close the laptop or shut it down. The tabs… the tabs surprise you and your heart breaks the more tabs you read.
How to deal with fertility issues
How to help sad wife
How to distract sad partner
What is egg retrieval surgery
Adoption process
Recommended income for adoption
Malaysian vacation homes for rent
Best time to vacation in Malaysia
Along with the searches, Nanami had a note opened with notes from every single tab.
The man sleeping next to you… loves you. You would do anything for him and he would scour the world and pick up brick by brick for an answer to any of your problems. You lean down to kiss his temple, “I love you, Kento. So fucking much.”
———
Seven months later, you get curious and tell Nanami to bring a test after work. He's hesitant and asks if it’s a good idea. After several months in therapy and extra doctor visits, you feel like you can handle any result. A negative would be like facing your biggest fear and you needed to overcome it.
Nanami rereads your texts the whole afternoon, and again when he’s at the pharmacy looking for the tests, and again when he’s in line to pay. He only hands you the small box after a big hug and deep kiss, and suggests you take it after dinner in fear of you not eating after seeing the result.
After a distracted dinner, you take the tests and leave them on the bathroom counter. You walk out the restroom and sit on the bed with Nanami. He wanted to be inside the restroom with you but despite being married and knowing each other’s secrets, that was one line you just could not cross. Your husband had no other option than to wait outside the door.
Nanami turns his whole body to you and reviews the exercises your therapist had given you both to work through the next result. You intently listen and follow his lead until the timer finally goes off. You both look at each other, scared for the next event but relieved to finally hear the beeping. You stand first and hold out your hand for Nanami.
You cover the test from afar as you close the gap and tell Nanami to count to three. One… two… three. You quickly move your hand to see the two tests.
You stare and stare, and Nanami’s eyes have never gone wider. You can see him looking back and forth frantically, waiting for your reaction. You screech, not yell or scream, a straight screech that could compare to the latest dinosaur feature film. Your hands cover half your face and sobs immediately break through. Nanami hugs you and picks you up from the floor.
“Ok ok ok, doctor, umm, we need to go to a doctor, ok? That's what he told us to do.” you nod frantically, still sobbing, and wrap your arms around your husband.
———
The doctor is happy to see you in his office for a different reason this time. He confirms the result with another test at the office and for the first time in a long while, the nurses lead you and Nanami to a room with a big ultrasound machine.
Nanami tightly holds your hand as the cold clear cream is spread on your tummy. There is no visible difference that you or Nanami could see but you were both very fucking nervous despite the home and doctor’s results. The doctor takes a second to spread the cream and look around. After what seems like an eternity, the doctor confirms that you are over halfway on your first trimester and points to the smallest blob on the screen.
Nanami’s legs give out and literally falls to the chair pulled for guests. His breath is heavy. He trusted the tests before, he really did believe those positives, but hearing it from the doctor's mouth in that room, seeing what was on the screen and where he knew you were in the best hands — his relief was unmatched. He had never felt such relief, happiness and an overwhelming sadness for what you had to go through.
He covers his mouth with one hand while he lets his tears fall for the first time in front of you since your wedding. His other hand still tightly holds your hand and he moves his forehead to touch the side of your stomach, where he knows the product of your love and effort will slowly start to make its home.
You lay on the chair with your arm folded on your face, crying loudly with the same relief and joy when Nanami stands back up and carefully moves your arm down to kiss your face. He starts at your temple and moves to your cheekbone, then nose, then eye, then forehead, other eye, lips, cheek, and temple again. He holds your head close to his chest and you wrap your remaining arm around him. After so many visits to this clinic, so many negatives and so many tears of sadness, you were finally able to cry for a completely different feeling.
You both lean to see the screen, the barely visible blob making you laugh but you lie your head back down and let yourself imagine a scene of a mini you and Nanami.
———
30 weeks, one 20 hour birth and an emergency C-section later, Kento holds your tiny girl. She had been rushed to the NICU shortly after the birth and you and Nanami were left scared in the OR. One of the nurses tells you that she is alright and they need to check her more since she was a preemie.
You wake up from a nap later that evening in your recovery room and see a shirtless Nanami holding your baby by the room window. He'd become so intrigued by the skin-to-skin contact benefits with a baby and promised himself he’d do anything for a closer bond with her.
Without him knowing you were awake and listening, you hear him tell the small bundle that is a sleeping baby girl, “b/n, you are so loved. We’re going to love you forever. I'm going to adore you for as long as I can and more.” He gently brushed her hair and continued, “I have so much to teach you, to show you. I love you, I'll give you everything, I promise." He lifted her and leaned down to kiss and stroke her cheeks, "my girl, my sweet girls — I'll do anything for you and mommy, I swear.”
You lean back smiling. Your body aches and the pain is incomparable to anything you’ve felt before, but you are happy. Whether it was in that hospital room as a new unit of three, or in your own living room relaxing with your husband alone, you would be happy.
Nanami turns around and sees you awake. He flashes the biggest smile and walks over to the bed with your sleeping newborn. “I love you, y/n.”
“Forever.”
#jjk nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami#nanami x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami kento#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami x reader#jjk reader#nanami kento x fem!reader#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x you#nanami kento angst#nanami kento happy ending#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk angst
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Jealousy
Slashers reaction to their s/o flirting with someone else/getting compliments from someone else.
This goes for OG!Michael, RZ!Michael, Brahms, Ghostface (Stu), Pyramid Head
WG: jealousy issues, doubtful behavior, a little gore, some NSFW, dev!consent?¿ apart from that I’ll try to include some fluff too (cause I can’t live without it :’D)
OG!Michael
You’d be mesmerized to know how many things Michael can know or find out about you.
That’s how he found out you were extra friendly with a coworker.
Maybe he hasn’t made it clear, but he didn’t have any intentions to share you with other men.
You were his and his alone.
Something inside him snap when he saw your lips kissing goodbye on this guy’s cheek.
To you was something insignificant, but to him?
Ohh boy…
He was jealous.
No need to mention that Michael slaughtered this poor guy.
He got home with you, disappointed, and a little sad for what he saw today.
You were starting to wonder where he was, it was already dark and you hadn’t seen him in all day.
Your question was answered when you felt a large hand going up your back, straight to the back of your neck.
His breathing low and steady as always.
His hand grabbed the back of your neck and squeezed it a little bit, making you move away from the kitchen, but not so far.
“Hey, Michael! Missed u today, where u been?” You asked him, not being aware that he spent almost all day stalking you
He didn’t reply, instead he moved his hand upward and grabbed you by the hair this time, tucking at it so he could whisper in your ear
“That hurts!” You yelled at him, but he didn’t care. You tried to reach his hand holding your hair, but with his free hand he catches yours and puts it behind your back twisting it.
“What the hell is wrong with you!?”
He tucked at your again in protest
Then you realized that he might have been stalking you throughout the day and saw that little interaction between you and your male coworker. It must be that right?
“I’m s-sorry Michael, I’m sorry, it’s not gonna happen again.” You apologized.
He lowered his head so it leveled with your right ear.
“Mine.” He whispered, his voice raspy but clear. “Say it.”
“Ok…ok, I’m yours. Only yours…” You swore. He let you go, your hands reaching the cold marble of the kitchen.
Latter that night when you both went to sleep, he apologized for the way he treated you earlier.
RZ!Michael
Things with Michael turn different when he’s jealous. First things first, sometimes you can’t tell if he’s jealous or not cause his behavior it’s almost pretty much the same.
You both know each other since you were 9yo. You were the only one who used to play with him, and he’s thankful for that. But your heart was torn apart when he committed that awful crime. You knew his sister and father were shitty, but you never expected Michael to kill them.
When you found out he scaped the mental hospital he was being kept, something inside of you wanted Michael to come see you. You weren’t so wrong after all.
So it’s been a couple of weeks since he’s staying with you, and you know better than to ask him where he goes at night, leaving you alone in the house.
There was this particular time when your ex stopped by and stayed for lunch when Michael was out stalking, as usual. Or so you thought. Turns out that he decided to stalk you this time, and when he saw this foreign man to his knowledge, he snapped.
You didn’t had time to even serve lunch when you heard your ex screaming. “Holy shit!” And he sounded in pain too.
When you came back to the living room Michael had stabbed your ex’s hand to the wooden table that was already prepared to eat.
“Michael…please.., he’s my ex.”
Michael wasn’t sure of your words, so he pulled out painfully the kitchen knife of your poor ex’s hand, a pained moan scaped his mouth. The he grabbed the doomed guy by his neck and looked at you again.
“Michael, Michael, please…I swear he’s my ex. Please!!!” You begged him.
Michael decided enough was enough and let your ex go, but not before pointing you to go upstairs with his knife. You obeyed.
Once you both were there he grabbed you by the throat this time and squeezed a little bit. Now you were scared. He tucked a little bit just to let you know that if he want to, he could kill you any minute.
He bend you over the edge of the bed so your stomach was facing towards the bed, and your ass up.
“how romantic” You mocked. To be honest this wasn’t the first time you two fucked. But this? Holy fuck, this was totally different. You weren’t even sure if you’re disliking this.
“I’m not sharing.” He growled at your ear. He took out your pijamas and panties with one hand, with the other he took out his mask. He positioned himself with your entrance. Spit a little bit his cock to use it as lube.
He grabbed you by your neck again and put it the tip of his cock.
“Michael, I’m not even-” You protested, reaching your right hand to his leg to try to stop him, but he grabbed it and pulled it against him so you were closer to his chest.
“Shut up, and fucking take it.” That’s all he said before thrusting all the way into you. He set a brutal pace and all he could hear was your screams and moans of pleasure.
“Fu-uck Michael!! Don’t stop, don’t stop!!” You moaned. He got closer to your ear again.
“This is what you get for making me jealous.”
You thought you could make him jealous more often.
BRAMHS HEELSHIRE
“Brahms!” You moan your lungs out. He had you lay down facing the bed, and now he was fingering you like his life depends on that.
And all for what? Well, you told Malcom earlier that he had a nice hair cut today. Apparently, Brahms didn’t like that.
He slapped your ass with his free hand “Your mine, mine!” He growled on your ear.
“Okay…okay, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah…I bet you are.” He stated, his fingers moving faster now.
You were reaching the point of your climax when he stopped, and pulled at your hair.
“You wanna cum?” He asked. You nod and hummed. “Well, beg for it.” He slapped your ass again.
“Please…I’m so close.” You begged vaguely.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” He replied, voice deeper now, filled with pure lust.
“Brahms, please…please I wa-I need to cum, please! I won’t do it again I promise!”
His fingers thrusting into your core in a brutal animalistic way. That was enough to make you cum that night.
Once you were finish he grabbed you by the hair again and said “if I see you again with him, his dead. You hear me?” He question.
“Yeah-yeah.” That’s all that would come out from your mouth.
PYRAMID HEAD
This big guy had never talked and never will, so if something just bothers him he will let you know in other ways.
Like when, for example, James complimented your bracelet one day. He was pissed, but he didn’t say anything, not that he could. So what did he do instead?
Well, he fallowed James all around Silent Hill making his life more miserable if that’s was even possible.
You weren’t exactly pissed at his behavior but you certainly didn’t like it. So next time he sees you you’ll let him know.
To your fortune that time was right now.
“Is tormenting James even necessary, Pyramid?” You asked annoyed.
He lowers his head and shakes no.
“So, why are you doing it?” He couldn’t answer you knew it so you asked him again. “Is it because you’re jealous of James?”
He shakes his head no several times, trying to hide the obvious feeling .
“Yeah…you definitely are.” You said.
He lowered his head again and was ready to leave when you grabbed his large hand.
“You can stay, it’s okay. It happens.” You smiled at him. From under his large pyramid, something like a tentacle came out to caress your chin.
“Promise me you won’t do it again, ok?”
He just nods and walk away peacefully.
GHOSTFACE
Since you two finished watching that movie, you wouldn’t stop talking about the killer.
How he was using a kitchen knife to kill people on the movie, or how he used his own hands to choke someone. You could notably see he was pissed at your comments of appreciation.
“Oh come on! I’m just messing around!” You laughed at him. He couldn’t be mad just because of that right?
“Well, go messing around Michael Myers then, perhaps he will burie his knife in you.” Stu said back.
“Stu come on! It’s just a movie!” You laughed a little bit
“If it’s just a movie don’t make me jealous!” He confessed.
“Jealous?” You giggle, then tried to hug him.
“N-no, no, you go hug Michael, he needs it more than I do.” Stu’s voice faking a sad tone. “Or go kiss his mask instead, cause apparently you don’t like mine anymore….ouch.” He continued.
“Well, if you say so…then I’m heading to Haddonfield then!” You said smiling to wait his reaction.
“No babe, don’t leave, I was just kidding.” He pouted, grabbing your hand so you wouldn’t leave.
“Ok..I promise to not saying anything like that again about Michael, if you promise to not get jealous.” You offered.
“Deal.” Stu replied smiling.
“I’m starving, wanna order some pizza?” He offered.
“Hell yeah.” You said, pizza didn’t sound that bad.
“Besides…I like your costume better.” You confessed.
“Ohh…” Stu was flattered, and couldn’t help but blush a little bit.
After that, you ate your pizza and cuddle all night, you being the smaller spoon. You quickly fell asleep in Stu’s warm arms.
Well I needed a little bit of humor with ghostie okay? 😭 I hope you liked it! See ya around 😊
#brahms heelshire#ghostface#michael myers#brahms heelshire x reader#ghostface x reader#michael myers x reader#halloween#pyramid head#slashers#silent hill#pyramid head x reader#stu matcher x reader#scream#the boy#the boy 2016#halloween 2007
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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ sub-ish!mingi x soft dom-ish!f!reader
synopsis ✭ Mingi really likes your boobs. So much so that he's willing to skip work for them.
content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI, fluff (warnings below the cut)
word count ✭ 1.3k
note ✭ this just came out of me on a whim. like, yeah, i've been thinking about mingi being a boob guy forever, but this one just kind of fell out of me and into a word document in the middle of the night 🙂 anyway have fun boos
also the dom/sub dynamic isn't super prominent, but i thought i'd put it in there
AND nothing was proofread, so if you see a typo...no you didn't. don't tell me about it 😭
warnings ✭ unprotected sex, fingering, breast-play (obviously), pet names (baby-mingi, angel-mc)
✭✭✭✭
Song Mingi loves boobs. He really does. He loves how soft they are. He loves how well they fit in his hands. He loves absolutely everything about them.
Of course, your boobs are his favorite. And it is no secret to you that he loves your chest. Maybe you picked up a couple hints from the way he oogles at the lowcut tops you wear sometimes. Or maybe its the way he grabs and holds them any chance he gets that gave you an inkling.
The biggest, most obvious tell, though, is how he can never remove his face from them. Ever. When you’re watching a movie on the couch, he’s laying on top of your chest while you play with his hair. When he’s fucking you relentlessly, he keeps his lips attached to your tits, occasionally biting and bruising them.
And even now, as the sun slowly starts to light up your bedroom, his face is burrowed in your chest. Only the thin cotton t-shirt you’re wearing separates his face from your skin. You’re both laying on your sides, facing each other. Your leg tucked securely between his arm and his waist.
As per usual, you wake before him, gazing down as his pretty face pressed against your chest. In the low, orange light of your bedroom, you could see the outlines of his face. The flutter of his eyelashes. The way his lips were parted ever so slightly as he slept so peacefully. His soft snores and the sound of your ceiling fan overhead were the only noises in the room.
You brushed through his hair with your fingers, softly scratching his scalp and kissing the top of his head. You loved to watch him sleep. The softness of his features and his relaxed disposition just made you feel so at home. And being able to coddle him just made everything so worthwhile.
After several uninterrupted minutes of you playing with his hair, Mingi begins to shift around in his sleep. You kiss the top of his head again as he wakes up. He only nuzzles deeper into your chest.
“Mingi, baby, you have to get up soon,” you whisper, bruising his hair back to look at his eyes which are still closed with his brows furrowed in protest.
He shook his head and groaned, “What time is it?”
“It’s already seven. You have to leave soon.”
“Fuck that. I’m not going anywhere.” You’re somewhat aware of his hand creeping up your shirt.
You hummed, “Baby, I know you want to stay in bed, but you told the guys you’d be on time today. And you’ve been late every single day this week.”
He didn’t say anything, instead, he creeped his hand even further up your shirt until he reached your breast. “Mingi.” You warned as he held it in his hand, softly pinching your nipple between his fingers, He finally opened his eyes and looked up at you with his big brown eyes.
“Angel, let me stay with you this morning. It’s okay if I’m a little late. I just wanna stay with you for a little bit.”
“Mingi,” you scolded, failing, though, to keep down the moan that bubbled out of you when he rolled your nipple under his thumb, “You cannot distract me with sex every time you don’t wanna get out of bed.”
“Don’t think of it as distracting you,” he pulled your shirt up even further, and you let him pull in over your head, “I just wanna make my girl feel good.” He took your nipple into his mouth.
Your grip on his hair tightened as you sighed at the feeling of his tongue playing with you as his hand held your other breast between his fingers. He groaned as you pulled his hair.
His other hand teased the waistband of your panties, snapping the elastic against your skin. Slowly, he pulled the garment down your legs, and you helped him to kick it off. His free hand ventured between your thighs.
“Oh fuck baby,” you groaned as he ran is fingers through your folds.
He pressed two fingers against your hole, “Fuck angel, you’re so warm.” He sighed as he sunk them into you, causing you to tighten your grip on his hair.
He continued to explore your chest with his mouth. Playing with your nipples and biting the skin around them. He lazily played your clit with us thumb as he fucked you fingers into you. God you were so beautiful he couldn’t take it. From your pretty pussy, to your beautiful face. And god your tits. You smelt so good, too, that all he could do was breathe you in.
You felt so relaxed as he played with you. The morning drowsiness wore off only to be replaced by the blissful mess of your pretty boyfriend getting off to making you feel good.
It was beyond obvious that he was enjoying this. Partially from the way he enthusiastically pleasured you. But you could also feel how hard he was getting against your thigh. You teased him a bit by pressing your thigh into his length. He whined.
“Oh baby. Let me help you,” you pulled away from him, much to his dismay. He pouted, “Don’t give me that face baby. I’ll make you feel good I promise.”
You told him to sit against the headboard after stripping him down completely. You took that opportunity to crawl over him, softly holding his length in your hand, pumping it just enough for him to squirm just a bit. Chuckling, you leaned in to kiss him softly, “Can I ride you baby?” You whispered against his lips.
He nodded with begging eyes, “Please, angel.”
You positioned yourself over him, rubbing his length along your folds. He let out a moan as you sunk down onto him, his voice cracking.
His head fell back as you started to bounce up and down on him. As his head spun when he felt you tighten around him as you moved your hand down to play with your clit. It was only a couple seconds, though, before his face was back in your chest. Kissing and biting your breasts as you fucked yourself put on his cock.
He relentlessly moaned into your chests, and you could he was getting close. His little cries were the biggest indication of how close he was. And he couldn’t help it. The combination of being buried deep in your pretty cunt and having your tits all in his face was a fucking wet dream (one he had had many times before).
“You close, baby?” You asked pulling his face out of your chest by his hair to look him in the eyes. He nodded with his jaw dropped open. “Yeah?”
“Please, angel, let me cum,” His voice was weak as he felt himself get lost, “Please I’ve been so good.”
“You wanna fill me up?” You asked, speeding up your pace. He frantically nodded, eyes rolling back in his head, “Ok baby, you can cum.” You let him finish, filling you up completely. You followed soon after with your own orgasm that made your legs weak as it washed over you.
When you pulled off of him, he was quick to return his hand to your cum filled pussy. He grabbed some of it on his fingers to smear it all over your chest, “You’re so pretty, angel.” He leaned back in to lick the cum off your tits. You giggled softly as his neediness.
“Thank you baby. How about we go hop in the shower? You have to get to work soon.”
He nodded and made his way to the shower. Surprised to absolutely no one, though, Mingi did not go to work that day.
#everyonewooeverywhere#mingi smut#mingi x reader#song mingi x reader#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#mingi imagines#song mingi imagines#song mingi#mingi#ateez#mingi fluff#song mingi fluff#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ dj's work#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ mingi#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ smut
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