#i’m assuming the purgatory/shut in au but like

[wintercandle42]

can i make fanart of your au 👉👈

(i might not but im obsessed with the idea and i kinda want to)

(Tldr: I would LOVE to see art of my aus and I’m very happy I can inspire anyone to want to make art, even if they do not end up drawing it.)

—

YES YES YES OFC YOU CAN

I CANNOT VERBALIZE. HOW ABSOLUTELY JOYFUL I FEEL AT GETTING YOUR ASK, BELOVED ANON!!!!

BLESSINGS UPON YOU AND ALL YOU LOVE

Even if you do not end up drawing it, it brings me such happiness that my rambling would cause someone to want to draw. I love art, and to be an inspiration to make more is. Ig like Nagito wanting to be a stepping stone for hope? But like. With less death. And less self loathing

[alrightberries]

dante’s inferno

request: wassup homie could you maybe write a college au fic where levi and reader are rommies, then one day reader brings home an adopted cat without levi's prior knowledge? You could decide what happens next lol. Tysm 🥺

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 4k

❈ summary: college au. in which you bring a stray cat to your dorm and your neat freak roommate won’t let you keep it.

alternatively: a compilation of college shenanigans where you and levi are best friends who are bad with feelings (ft. an unamused cat named dante)

❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of alcohol and smoking. implied smut.

a/n: this was supposed to be loosely based on the nine circles of hell according to inferno by dante alighieri— hence the title— but i did my research wrong so now it’s loosely based on the seven terraces of purgatory according to divine comedy. i’m keeping the title tho.

Inspired by this art by @ryuichirou on tumblr.

Permission to repost art was granted by the artist. Do not repost/edit the art without explicit permission from the artist.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i. first terrace: pride

“We’re not keeping it.”

“But why?”

“We’re not keeping it.”

“But why.”

Levi’s tongue clicks in annoyance. His eyes glance next you where the offending creature lay on your bed; tail curling, paws kneading at his your favorite fleece blanket. Quite frankly he’s a little offended when the little shit has the audacity to glare at him back.

He’ll never admit it, but his ego’s a bit bruised because the cat’s glare was slightly better than his.

“I said no,” he firmly replies, looking back to you. “It’s bad enough I have to share a room with an anarchist who has no respect for boundaries—“

“One time, I forgot to use a coaster that one time!”

“—and now you expect me to share a room with a dirty fur ball who does nothing but eat, shit, and sleep?”

“He’s a cat, Levi.” You murmur, scooping the cat into your arms. “And he has a name,” you give a nervous smile when you see your rommate grit his teeth. He feels a headache coming.

“You named it?”

“Dante is not an ‘it’.”

Levi makes a move to step closer but immediately stops when the ‘Dante’ hisses at him.

“Aw, he likes you.” You coo.

“Clearly,” he replies unenthusiastically. “Listen,” he sighs. “I respect your cat’s pronouns but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to stay. Or do I need to remind you of the mac and cheese incident?”

Okay, maybe he was on to something. If you got caught with a pet in the dorms you’d breach your third and final warning, and you’d be forced to dorm off-campus. The fact that you were still here after the mac and cheese incident was solely because Levi pulled some strings (aka asked Erwin, golden boy of the campus who owed him a favor, to pull some strings).

But you couldn’t just let Dante go. There was something about him that felt so familiar; something about his black fur, thin silver eyes, unamused snarl, and overall grumpy demeanor. Especially endearing was the way he’d grumble and pretend to be annoyed whenever you tried to cuddle him but would complain if you stopped.

You just couldn’t figure out who or what he reminded you of.

Maybe you would’ve figured it out too if you weren’t so distracted with watching Levi and Dante stare at each other. Your eyes dart back and forth between the grouchy cat sitting on your bed and your grouchy roommate sitting on his desk. Both were slightly crouched over with their heads tilted up in a show of dominance; they were engaged in what seemed to be a glaring contest, gunmetal irises unamused and mouths taut in a snarl as they protected their territory.

You sigh. You really, for the life of you, couldn’t figure out why Dante felt so familiar.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ii. second terrace: envy

Levi is not jealous. He’s not.

At least that’s what he tells himself as he sulks alone on his bed. His arms are crossed and his lips are in a pout, eyebrows knitted in distaste, occasionally glancing to your side of the room where you sat up on your bed. He’s sure whatever movie you chose to watch together is interesting and all, but right now all he could pay attention to was that stupid cat. Sitting on your stupid lap. Getting its fur stroked by your stupid hand. Getting all the love and affection his stupid self should be receiving.

It was him you should be cuddling, not Dante. Saturday nights were reserved for him and you, not you and a cat while he happened to be in the room. He’s been trying to make a move on you since high school and he can’t fucking believe he’s losing your attention to a cat. Sure, he’s always been too chicken to make a move and had to suffer seeing you get together with assholes— as per your type during your emo high school days— but this was a new low. He can’t wrap his head around the concept that he’s losing his longterm crush to a motherfucking cat.

When you coo at how adorable the fleabag was for what felt like the 50th time that night, Levi decides he’s had enough of the cuddle-hogging piece of shit.

Wordlessly, he crosses to your side of the room and lifts the cat from its perch, ignoring your protests as he sets it down on the floor and tells it to ‘scram, you little fuck.’ He uses a hand to dust your lap free of any microscopic cat particles Dante probably left behind before lying down his head down once he was satisfied. He grabs your hand to put it on his hair.

“Stroke.” He orders, eyes closing.

“What? No! You pushed off Dante.”

“He was in my spot.”

“You couldn’t have given up your lap pillow for one night?”

“One night?” He scoffs and turns to look at you. “You’ve been abandoning me for two weeks. That disgusting, tic-infested, rabies-carrying slob has no business sitting on your lap.”

“He’s not disgusting, you gave him a shower before you agreed to let me keep him. And I took him the vet to make sure he had all his shots. He’s clean, Levi.”

“Tch, good. Now throw him out and let him find someone else to freeload from.”

“Okay, what’s going on?” You guffaw. “You’ve been grumpier than usual. And why’re you being such an ass to Dante? He’s just a cat.”

“Don’t think he’s special in some way. I’m an ass to everyone.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re always extra mean to him?”

He doesn’t reply. His lips are downturned into a frown when he looks away with a click of his tongue, and you realize with a sigh you won’t be getting an answer from your cryptic roommate soon. Your fingers start mindlessly stroking his undercut when you get lost in your thoughts— a habit you developed through years of Levi using your lap as a pillow. He always complained the first few times you did it but you knew it calmed both him and you, and that it put both your minds at ease. Moreso Levi right now, apparently.

You’re keenly aware of how he seems to curl up into you the more you keep going. You watch as his shoulders slump down when you stroke the side of his face, and his eyebrows relax slightly. From your angle, you could even see the way his eyes close in content. Maybe even a tiny smile if you were being delusional.

Your lip twitches upward.

“Oh my god, Levi, are you jealous of a cat?”

“Shut up and play with my hair.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

iii. third terrace: wrath

“You owe me a new cravat.”

You blink up at your roommate. “What?”

“You owe me a new cravat.” He repeats. He pulls from his pocket a white piece of fabric— barely recognizable— torn into shreds, releases it mid-air. It gently lands on your open palm.

“Wait, did Dante do this?” You ask, eyeing the slik in your hands.

“Unless you went feral in the middle of the fucking night and decided to cut up my clothes, yes.”

“Oh my god, Levi, I’m so sorry. I swear Dante will never—“

“You actually owe me three cravats,” he interjects. “The first two I overlooked since they weren’t that expensive but I draw the line here.” His lips are downturned into a frown, eyes poorly concealing his clear distaste. “This one’s my favorite and it was made from silk.”

You eye the fabric in your hands once more before nodding in understanding, setting down the once beautiful cravat before taking out your wallet. It was only fair that you paid him back; he was being more than generous with letting your cat stay and keeping it a secret, and now you wonder how many bad things Dante’s done that Levi’s overlooked or simply never brought up with you.

“Sure, I’m really sorry. How much do I owe you?”

Levi doesn’t say anything. Instead he pulls out his phone and types something on what you could only assume was google, most likely looking for the same brand of the cravat your cat had just torn into shreds. You weren’t entirely sure how much those could cost, but surely you could afford—

“What the fuck!” You screech, eyeing the page with very, very hefty price tags listed. Holy fucking hell where did he even get the money to buy something so expensive. Gulping, you nervously look up at your unimpressed roommate. You already knew he was taking it easy on you; his aura was the only thing intimidating, at least he wasn’t giving you the murder eyes. And even though he was a man of his word, you were thankful he hasn’t reported Dante.

Still, it didn’t change the fact that Levi looked pissed beyond belief.

“Uhm... can I pay you with a check that’ll definitely bounce?”

“You will pay me in cash.”

“Fuck, fine!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

iv. fourth terrace: sloth

Levi silently works on his desk. His laptop’s open in fromt of him, numerous notes from classes and books from the library surrounding him. The gentle sounds of clicking and clacking echoe throughout the room as fingers typed at the keyboard, eyes concentrated and lips pulled taught as he focuses on his task. He’s on a roll. He’s almost done with this part of his research, nothing could snap him out of this, he just needs to—

“Levi, when do you think Dante will come back to me?”

He stops typing and grits his teeth.

This is how it’s been the entire night. Ten minutes of peace before you ask him some stupid questions that could’ve been answered with common sense.

“Fuck if I care.”

“Do you think it was something I did?”

He resumes typing. “Yes.”

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

“No.”

“Even after all we’ve been through?”

“Still no.”

“I miss him,” you sigh. “I miss him so much.”

“Then you shouldn’t have left the door open.”

It’s been a week since Dante escaped the dorm and Levi doesn’t understand why you’re still so depressed about it. I mean, you only lost a cat that you loved and treasured and treated like family. Surely a week of moping around in your pajamas and eating nothing but chips and soda was catharsis enough.

He hears you shift in your burrito blanket, presumably to turn away from him so you can sulk into the wall next to your bed. Good. Now he can get back to working on—

“Levi do you think Dante-“

“Enough.” He grits, slamming his laptop shut.

“Where’re you going?” You ask, eyeing the way he hurriedly stuffs papers and books into his bag along with his laptop.

“Out.” He replies, grabbing his keys and his coat. “I can’t stand this shit anymore.”

Your head is burried in your blankets when he slams the door shut and all you could do was slump down because great. You lost Dante, and now you’ve royally pissed off Levi.

Great. Just fucking great.

Unlike your cat, however, your roommate comes back hours later, just before curfew. He doesn’t bother with a hello— he never does— and neither do you, opting to stay hidden underneath the sheets. Though suddenly, there’s a dip in the mattress followed by a pur next to your head.

Could it be?

“Dante?” You murmur, lifting your head from underneath your cocoon of fabric. Small black paws and silver eyes meet your gaze. “Dante!” Immediately sitting up, you pulled him to your lap, scratching his little head and cooing about how much you missed him as he purred and curled into to you.

Levi would never say it, but he missed seeing you smile at the little fleabag.

You turn to look at your roommate. “How’d you find him?”

“Asked around the campus. He wandered into another dorm building and probably thought it was ours.”

“Well yeah but... I thought you hated him?”

“I do.” He replies instantly.

“Then why’d you find him?”

“I hate him, not you.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

v. fifth terrace: avarice

“I fucking hate both of you,” Levi grumbles, staring at the dorm.

Towers of boxes lined his supposed to be clean dorm room. He had a hard time prying the door open since it was blocked, and he wasn’t even sure how the boxes weren’t blocking out the light from how high they were piled. Dante’s sat on a stack of box directly next to the door, purring and flicking his tail around. Levi squints his eyes and glares at the little shit.

“You especially.”

“Mrow?”

Levi’s day had been, with no irony or sarcasm at all, amazing. He got a good grade on his research paper; the guy in front of him at the cafe accidentally ordered an extra serving of (coincidentally, Levi’s favorite) tea and gave it to him for free; and he got full marks for the presentation he’s been worrying about for weeks. His class even got dismissed early so he had an extra hour for lunch. He knew you didn’t have classes, so in honor of his great day he thought he’d do something nice and take you out for lunch. His treat, of course.

But any trace of his good mood vanished when he went back to the dorms and got greeted to a room that looked like it came from an episode of Hoarders.

This is what he gets for trying to be nice.

“Levi! Is that you?” You called out.

“What the fuck happened?”

You laugh sheepishly— at least Levi thinks you do. He couldn’t see you beyond the hundred boxes that took up your shared room. He hears some rustling and the sound of things being moved around before finally your head pops out from behind a wall of brown, smiling at him apologetically before walking towards him (and tripping a few times).

“Remember when I said I’d order some toys for Dante as a surprise?”

Levi’s eye twitches. “Don’t tell me—”

“I accidentally ordered 10,000 instead of 10. Online shopping struggles, am I right?” You nervously chuckle at his pissed off face. Levi was not in the mood.

Your smile widens as you make twinkly gestures with your hands. “So uh... surprise?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

vi. sixth terrace: gluttony

The clinic is still when you first entered.

The harsh smell of alcohol and sterile metal makes your nose grimace, and the coldness of the thermostat brings goosebumps to your arms. Behind the wall, somewhete in the waiting room, cats are hissing, dogs are barking, and you could even hear the sound of birds angrily chirping and rattling their cages.

Dante cowers in fear on the silver table, and your heart aches. His ears are down and his fur’s standing on its ends, but you couldn’t comfort him. Not right now, at least. The veterinarian still needed to do a few more checks.

You gulp, “how’s... how’s Dante looking, doc?”

“Not good,” she murmurs. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and she takes a deep sigh as she eyes the information on the chart. “It’ll take months before he can walk properly again, possibly more if we don’t do anything about it soon.”

“Don’t tell me... is he—-”

“I’m sorry, my dear,” she sighs. “But your cat is heavily obese.”

The corners of your lips twitch down into a frown, and your palm is warm when you start to stroke Dante’s fur. He calms down a bit from your touch, less on edge but still guarded as he warily eyes the doctor’s gloved hands.

“But I don’t understand,” you reply. “I’ve been following the recommended diet you put him on, and I haven’t been feeding him anything other than the cat food and vitamins you recommended. How’s he still obese?”

“Well, we could look into other solutions, but for now I think we ought to look at whether or not Dante has an underlying health problem.”

Levi tunes out the chatter between you and the vet, bored eyes staring into nothing. He’s leaning against a wall and he’s watching the cat carrier. Your bag’s slung over his shoulders and your coat’s in his arms, and he was sure you didn’t even need him to be here for “moral support.”

He mentally scoffs. You probably just needed a chauffeur to drive you for free, and honestly, Levi would rather feel like a chauffeur than a coat rack.

His eyes make contact with Dante’s, and all the fear in the cat’s eyes is suddenly gone, replaced with a steely glare and bared teeth. A warning, one no one else notices but him.

Levi gives him a solitary nod, understanding what Dante wanted to say.

Don’t tell Y/N I’ve been sneaking to the neighbors.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

vii. seventh terrace: desire

There’s something about the buzz of alcohol and nicotine that makes Levi confident—- the liquid courage in his veins and the smoke in his lungs clouding his judgement. Perhaps that’s where he finally gets the balls to cross the room, drunken eyes on your equally intoxicated ones, before he pulls you in for a kiss.

The kiss starts slow, with lips just interlocking and lightly testing the waters. But then he feels your tongue make its way inside his mouth and your fingers weave into his hair to tug him closer, and Levi loses the last threads of inhibition he has. His tongue massages yours and one of his arm wraps around your waist, the other comes down to grope and knead your ass. He feels you walk backwards and your hand pulls at his tie, dragging him with you. Suddenly he’s trapping you against a wall, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around his hips so he could grind his crotch into yours.

Levi doesn’t expect his first kiss with you to be like this; messy and full of tongue and spit, full of fingers clawing at clothes and small grunts escaping your lips. He was hoping it’d be more romantic, with warm cheeks and fingers softly intertwining, shy kisses exchanged through little smiles.

But he’s not about to complain—- he’s wanted to be with you for years, and god he loved having you like this. Loved having you all hot and desperate, trapped between his firm chest and the wall. His cock is hard in his pants, and he just about growls when he feels you start to undo his belt, the fly of his pants coming down as you got on your knees and stared up at him with innocent eyes as you pull out his aching boner. There’s a cheeky grin your face when you pump at his length, and your tongue peaks out of your mouth before—

“Levi, are you okay?”

His eyes snap open, and he’s greeted to the sight of your worried face directly above his.

“Fuck!” he yells, and his forehead slams into yours when he flinches away. “Sorry, sorry” he quickly ammends when you yelp in pain.

He’s covered in sweat, he notices. Chest heaving, heart beating a little too loud for his liking, and he silently pulls the blankets over his cum stained boxers when you sit beside him.

God, he was really hoping you wouldn’t notice the fact that he came in his pants like a high schooler. And it was before dream you even got to suck him off. How much more pathetic could he be.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and you nod.

“Yeah, m’fine, it’s just...” your eyes are distracted, staring off into space. Fingers trace his thighs, and you sigh. “You were having a nightmare,”

Levi blinks. “What?”

“You were having a nightmare,” you repeat. “Kept tossing and turning and groaning in your sleep. And you kept making these... funny faces,”

“...right,” he nods. Sure, a nightmare. A nightmare he never wanted to wake up from.

It takes about ten minutes to reassure you that yes, he was fine, don’t mind the way his cheeks are flushed, he was just... shaken up from his nightmare, is all. Then you’re back to bed, sleeping the night away, and twenty minutes later he’s on his way back to bed too; this time with a fresh pair of boxers and a content look on his face, all thanks to him finishing off his fantasies in the communal bathroom during his shower.

The door makes a quiet click when he shuts it behind him, and he freezes when he catches sight of Dante sat up on your bed, tail flicking behind him as he gives Levi a knowing look.

Levi squints his eyes, and he threateningly whispers, “you tell no one.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

epilogue

The half empty room brings a frown to your face, and all you could do was pout as you sealed up the last of the boxes.

“Why do you have to leave again?” you ask, and Levi turns around as he finishes folding the last of his clothes. He shrugs. “Cats aren’t allowed in the dorms.”

You owed him your entire college career, that much was sure. The RA’s found out about Dante, and Levi had taken the fall to spare you. He wasn’t required to move out since it was only his first strike, but he insisted on doing so so that Dante wouldn’t be alone, saying he already found an apartment nearby and he’ll never hear the end of it from you if he didn’t take Dante with him.

Bullshit. Levi had a soft spot for Dante, you knew that much. He wasn’t doing it for you, he was doing it for himself. Though normally you’d be overjoyed to know that Levi really did secretly like the cat he pretended to hate so much, this time, you were just pissed. You couldn’t believe a fucking cat was stealing away the guy you’ve been in love with since high school. Sure, you were too much of a coward to ask him out, but he was basically your boyfriend already—- the entire campus knew you inadvertently had dibs on each other.

“Yeah but... do you have to leave me alone?”

“I asked you to come with me, and you said no.” He points out. “I still don’t see why when we’ve been roommates since we were freshmen.”

“It’s different off-campus!”

“How?”

“Because it’s like... it’s like we’re moving in together, y’know?” you reply. “And it seemed wrong to move in with you when we’re not even dating.”

“Let’s do it, then.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighs, handing you a spare key to what you could only assume was his new apartment. You glance between him and the key in your hands, and he rolls his eyes when he realizes that you still don’t get it.

“I know we’re doing this backwards since couples don’t typically move in before the first date,” he says before gesturing to Dante. “But we already have a son, and I know you’re his favorite parent. We can share custody until you can move in with me.”

You blink. “What?” Your brain stopped working when Levi referred to you as a couple, and you’re pretty sure your heart stopped beating too. At this point, anything he said went in one ear and out the other. He flicks your forehead.

“Hey— ow! What was that for?”

“You weren’t listening.”

“And you’re being a prick!” you grumble. “It hurts, y’know.”

He scoffs. “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?” he scoffs.

Your mouth moves faster than your brain, “I’d rather you kiss me.”

Wait. What?

Before you could go back on your words, Levi shrugs. Warm palms gently grab your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his. Your eyes widen and you momentarily freeze, brain definitely not working anymore. He hesitates when you don’t make a move, but then you’re shyly leaning forward, and that was all the confirmation Levi needs.

“If you insist,” he whispers, and suddenly your words die on your tongue when his lips interlock with yours.

alrightberries © 2020. do not modify or repost.

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[cloudycrystalkpop]

SMOKY | Purgatory Within

Blind! Prince! Mingi x [unstated skin deformity] fem! Reader

words: almost 2k 

warnings: abuse trauma, smut, death

au: crown royal au | moodboard

series masterlist: SMOKY

~

you became more and more concerned for your husband’s behavior as time went on. the young man who had once been so careful and gentle, now stood with a silent rage behind his empty eyes.

however, after you confronted him about his possessive behavior, you watched him break down at your feet.

“p-please... please don’t leave me...” his large frame was once again curled in on himself, shoulders shaking as he kneeled on the floor, hands fisted in your robe. his head was hung low as he begged you at your feet.

“Mingi, what has been going on with you?” you insisted, refusing to touch the man as he tried to bury his face in your lap.

“I can't- I can't let the Duke take you! or your whore of a knight! Please my queen please, take me instead, take everything I have!” the man let out a broken sob as you sighed at his words.

“enough.” you growled, grabbing a hand full of his hair and lifting his head. he yelped in shock, neck exposed to you as his Adams apple bobbed in fear.

“you are to be a king Mingi. you are a grown man, and I am your wife. you are not a little boy to be crying at the feet of his mother.” you pushed the man off your lap and stood. “and you will be a fool of a king if you let such foolish insecurity cloud your judgment!”

Mingi hid his head low, covering his face with his arms.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! p-please don't-” his normally deep voice cracked in terror. you stopped, anger at he man before you evaporated.

“Mingi...mingi I'm not going to hit you.” you spoke softly, gently falling to your knees on the floor. his body shook, arms still held to protect his face. “I hope you know, I would never do that.” your voice was sorrowful as you reached out a hand to his head.

he flinched when you touched his hair, but as you began to run your fingers through it, his muscles slowly relaxed. dropping his arms from his face you could finally see the puffiness around his eyes, the cloudiness of the dark pigment stared blankly back at you.

“...do you promise?” he hiccuped, turning his head to try and find the direction of your voice. you cupped the man’s cheeks, pulling his head to face yours. his eyes fluttered shut as he rested his head in your hands.

“oh my darling boy, who did this to you?”

~

Mingi found a small kitten in the garden. a runt, tiny thing. you had thought the bundle of orange fur was some nobles lost purse left out in the rain. he named her Daisy, saying her fur smelled of the flowers when she curled up in his big hands.

You rarely saw the man without her, the small kitten often purching on Mingi's large shoulders.

Your husband still held ribbons of his possessive behavior, however he began to distance himself from you. You rarely saw him now other then in passing on when the pair of you went to sleep at night. He also began neglecting pleasing you, but you assumed he was simply not interested as both of you often went to sleep without any contact.

Now you found yourself facing a different delema. You had always been a woman with a high sex drive, its one of the reasons you had chosen Seonghwa as a concort. However your poor knight had been frightened quite badly by yourself and your husband, and you knew he wouldnt return to you unless you seeked him out.

But you had also made Mingi a promis. One that was getting increasingly hard for you to keep.

"My lady, is everything alright? You seem lost in thought... If there is any responsibilities weighing heavy on you i am more then happy to help however i can!" the young Duke's voice was as sweet as ever.

You sighed, looking over to Yeosang, a man you had been trying not to look at for to long. His hair lay in soft curls around his face, lightened by the many years spent outside in the sunlight. Likewise his skin was warm in hue, tanner then the rest of your court.

You had heard some of the other ladies snickering about him. Yeosang surely didnt live up to some of the standards for desired beauty the royals had. A strange thought flashed in your mind. Is that why Mingi was chosen to be your husband over Yeosang? Mingi's frame was large, an incredibly masculine figure just looking at him, with dark hair and skin untouched by the sun.

Little Yeosang however, had small and dainty hands, with long thin fingers, his features were softer then Mingi's, even his skin looked soft to the touch. And the many years spent as a playmate for his sisters left him with an unthreatening demeanor.

Indeed it wasnt hard for you to imagine him, flowers in his hair, sat on a blanket in the valley, perhaps painting or writing for his own amusement. You shoved away such thoughts as you saw a line of concern crease in his brow.

"My lady..."

"I am sorry Yeosang. Truthfully ive been feeling a bit... Forgotten about in these last weeks. And its left me feeling distracted." you answered him.

"Forgotten... Ah, by your husband?" perceptive as always. You sighed, gase dropping to your tea once more, before nodding.

"Have you tried speaking to him? He has a shy nature, im sure-"

"Hes trying to help." you held up a hand to stop him. "He did not trust me, and hes trying to offer me space to show he does." you clarified.

"... I see." Yeosang chewed on his lip in thought. His lips were a pretty blush color, not as round as Mingi's but plump, they looked soft... Very soft.

You cursed yourself in your own head. His fingers, his lips, youd be lying to deny they hadnt crossed your mind when you bathed. Your hands wandering your own body, head leaned back and eyes closed. Imagining it was Yeosang's long fingers in place of your own as you gasped in pleasure.

You shooed away the maid who came to offer you more tea, informing her it wouldnt be needed. Lust was a vice that would only cause you harm as Mingi's wife. And yet, something stirred in your gut.

"Yeosang, will you come walk with me?" the Duke nodded quickly, standing to his feet to follow you deeping into the gardens.

~

Your husband would be furious. And yet, such a worry seemed to melt away as you let yourself become lost in his touch.

"My lady please, you must be quiet. Or else we shall scandalize some poor stable boy." Yeosang's voice purred in your ear, pressing soft kisses to your neck after speaking.

You bite your tongue as Yeosang let another finger slip inside you. You were right, his fingers were deliciously long, able to reach places within you your own faltered. His hand snaked up your skirts and inside your undergarments, the heel of his hand pressed against your clit, his wrist not forgetting such an important part as he rubbed it gently.

You could almost see stars as he began sucking on your neck, a third finger sliding within you.

"... I promised you, anything you ever needed, i will provide. If its council, wisdom, or even such sinful favors... I am at your service. Always." Yeosang's voice was honey on your skin. You pulled one of your hands up from where they were fisted in his jacket, tugging gently on his hair. He pulled away from your neck, eyes now staring into your own. A look of pride took his features, seeing the state of pleasure you were in at his hands.

Tugging his hair again, you let a small whine fall from your lips. He chuckled, increasing the pace of his hand, and before a moan could fall from your lips, he covered them with his own.

~

That night, cheeks finally faded with the glow of what yourself and the Duke had snuck away to do, you crossed paths with a guard.

“your highness! just who I was looking for~” dread pooled in your gut as you saw Hongjoong, cheerful grin on display, with a small kitten in his arms. Daisy shook like a leaf, eyes slit to spite the darkness of the hallway.

you opened your arms and Hongjoong placed the small cat in your hands. Daisy immediately pressed herself as far from Hongjoong as she could, a small hiss let out in his direction.

“how rude. if it wasn't for me she would have been stuck at the top of a lamp. ungrateful feline.” he huffed. you began to gently stroke the cat’s fur, in hopes of calming her down.

“an animal as small as this knows when it is in the jaws of a predator.” you stated. Hongjoong smiled, and your stomach dropped. humans are so stupid. Hongjoong is known as a cheerful and smiley person, but yet the cloud that follows him hides the nature of his grin. a wolf does not offer you a smile, he bares his teeth as a warning.

“and yet your little prince is so blissfully unaware of what he is toying with~” Hongjoong giggled. you simply blinked back at the creature before you. “you know, your fondness for that Duke will upset him. but if you wanted a straightforward solution-”

“I am not a fool like the other idiot humans that reside here.” you growled.

“oh no, absolutely not. but, witch, neither am i.” you narrow your eyes at him.

“I could have you hung for accusing the future queen of witchcraft.” you threatened. Hongjoong lay his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

“that would be a sight! do you really want to see what happened if you try and kill me?” Hongjoong stops himself before he begins laughing again. “actually I believe I know that answer. regardless, my offer still stands. just as our deal already does.”

“deal?” you feel panic rise in your throat.

“why yes, the silent one of course.” Hongjoong grins that same one that appears in your nightmares. the one that pulls his cheeks up and shows just a few to many teeth.

“you don't tell them what I am, and in exchange, I do the same.”

~

you awoke the next morning, without Mingi. his side of the bed was cold, and even Daisy had gone missing. you thought little of it as you rose to begin your day, however, you were not greeted by one of your handmaidens, but rather, a guard.

“your majesty, I come bearing news.” he swallowed nervously.

“oh? at this hour?” you inquired. you were then greeted by a sorrowful meow, Daisy crawling between the guards legs and hiding under your nightgown.

“your husband, Prince Mingi, was found dead in a poll of his own blood last night.”

~

who killed the king?

suspects : Yeosang | Seonghwa | Hongjoong

[castee-yel]

Destiel AU

| calm | soft | semi-canon | word count = 1,178 |

AU that occurs after Mary dies, Castiel distances himself by wiping the hunters' minds.

This is just one of the many random plot lines that formed in my head, this one just resides in my head im a warm setting, so enjoy.

preview:

Castiel hadn't spoken to dean or sam in months, ever since the incident, what had ruined it all, ever since Mary had died due to his actions, he had decided there was no going back for him.

If he was being honest it wasn't what he thought it would be, wiping his best friends minds of the memories he had alonside with them, from hunts to sharing his first beer(s), to watching over them as they slept in crappy motels. He thought throwing all that away would provoke some great unbearable emotion in him that would lead him frantically running back to the winchesters as soon as given the chance, but he was nothing more than just... empty.

Cas, after months of migrating country to country to distract himself, had given up on that idea and now worked at the nearest gas-n-sip 40 minutes from the bunker, where he spent hours restocking shelves and watching the clock tick every day, just hoping the boys would pop in on the way to one of their many hunts.

It was one of those days, where the temperature was just right and cool, the sun was bright enough to warm your skin but not overheat you, and the clouds complimented the the skys pretty blue. The store smelt fresh and the sunlight made it seem a much brighter and spacious place than it really was.

Castiel was refilling the beverage coolers with cans of soda, the rays of light coming from the blinds warming the back of his neck, just as he bent down to pick up another soda from the crate at his feet, the door chime started jingling.

He turned round to go towards the cashier, and said "How can I help you today?" as he looked up, to which he paused, eyes widened a little bit and gulped.

There it was, the rush of blood, his heart heavy, his head light, he felt, alive, it was impossible to keep himself standing up straight without feeling faint. Cas leant on the cold steel counter for support.

"He's here, he's really here" the angel thought to himself, he tried his best to not seem to overjoyed or terrified.

"Hi, my brother and I were wondering if you sell motor oil for that-" he flicked his index finger towards the sleek black impala outside the shop window, "pretty thing outside" he continued, raising his brows and smiling as if he told some form of joke, "I don't want to hurt her engine with any of that low quality crap" the man went on as he chuckled about how precious his "baby" was, practically oblivious of Castiel wincing at his voice and laughter.

Castiel was shut off, he'd been blankly staring into the mans eyes for the entirety of his car appreciation speech.

"So, the motor oil then?" he was brought back to reality.

"Agh, yes" Castiel walked out from behind the cashier leading the man towards an isle at the back of the store, "These are the finest we have, they're a bit expensive but worth the price, we also discount the changing charge if you purchase the oil here and get it changed here too."

He had said this speech so many times it had gotten flat and dull, but he did his best to put the energy back into the words. After all, it was him...

Cas waited as he watched the man pick up one of the containers while quickly skimming through the back, barely giving any attention despite his obvious excessive concern for the car.

"I'm assuming you'd like to purchase that one sir-?"

"Its Dean" He smiled, to which Castiel felt warmth he hadnt in ages, "and yeah, if its as friggin good as it says"

Castiel gave a laugh he had been practicing ever since he got the job, to seem human enough of course, but for the first time it didnt feel like a facade. It felt genuine, and he knew why.

Cas looked down as he he took the bottle from Deans hands and walked towards the cashier, Dean following not too far behind him. Castiel placed the bottle of motor oil on the countertop and started punching in numbers on the till, avoiding his every thought to take another glimpse at dean.

"Y'know, this might be crazy but-" Dean leant foward over the till and lifted a finger "I've seen that face before" now pointing directly at a shaky, half ecstatic half horrified Castiel.

"M-Me?", He chuckled nervously avoiding those eyes and looking towards the sanitary products aisle to his left. "No no I really doubt"

"Purgatory!" Dean exclaimed, mildly blushing, "Thats where right?" He was grinning at the thought.

Castiel froze, hand putting the motor oil bottle in a bag mid air, he was no longer smiling, "P-Purgatory?" he asked, squinting, trying his hardest to seem confused and not scared.

"Miami?" Dean straightened himself so that he was no longer bending towards the man, "Purgatory Miami right?" he asked again, the angel still completely oblivious to his reference.

"I-" Cas stuttered, "I don't think we've met" he finally shoved the motor oil into the plastic bag he was holding for what seemed like years.

"My bad," Dean shrugged, handing over the money for the motor oil with a subtle smirk towards Castiel. He thanked him and strutted towards the door and out into his car.

He was gone, that was it; Cas slumped back into the chair by the till, placing his elbows on the counter and letting his head rest upon his palms as he contemplated:

"He's not dead" he thought, "and he's happy?" now leaning back and looking up at the white plain ceiling. "Miami though, what was that about?" he scoffed to himself, "Guess i'll never find out".

He got up and walked back towards the beverage coolers and continued where he left off, restacking the sodas.

Castiel was relieved, Dean Winchester was somewhat happy, he was alive, and his plan had worked, leaving him to spend his days thinking about the man who had no memory of him.

Dean got into the car to which his brother whined "What took you so long?"

"I don't know man, weird guy," Dean replied, with less of the cheery tone he had from before.

"Weird how?" His brother asked, "our kind of weird?"

"No no Sammy," Dean mumbled as he looked to the back window of the car while backing out of the stores parking lot. "Pretty sure I'd seen him in a gay bar before, he denied it a bit too harshly"

"First off, what were you doing in a gay bar" Sam questioned looking confused but not concerned, "And second off why would you confront the guy?"

"It wasnt like that, I was on a case" Dean avoided his brother's assumption, "And I thought he'd find it funny, nothing serious"

They drove off into the road, and that was that, just silence all the way, the familiarity of the man was never really shaken off from Dean, it was almost like it was printed onto him.

[kaidans-alenko]

Citadel Noire

Write the detective au you want to see in the world and I did, it kept bothering me so I sat down and decided to make it a collection of one shots because their buddy cop potential is too good. Although some how I made it a tad darker but I have a tendency to do that. 

AO3 Link

Kaidan splashed cold water on his face in an attempt to wake himself up, that brief two hour nap was the most sleep he's gotten lately and he wasn't the only one. The whole station has been sleep deprived as of late, missing persons cases usually involve more coffee than they do actual shut eye. 

"How are you doing Alenko?"  His partner Garrus asked as he leaned up against the doorway. 

"Fine, just shaking off my nap." Kaidan told him as he patted his face down with a towel.

Garrus pushed himself off the wall and walked over to him "Shepard and Taylor found something they want us to see but if you still need a moment I can go ahead." He said softly, placing a gentle hand on Kaidan's shoulder. 

"I appreciate that Vakarian but I'm okay, really I'm just tired." He told his turian partner, the dark circles under his whiskey brown eyes further adding to his statement. 

"If you're sure…" Garrus said as he watched Kaidan make a half assed attempt at fixing his tie before giving up. "Here, let me." 

Kaidan turned to him an eyebrow quirked up "No offense, but since when do you know how to tie a tie? Let alone fix one." 

"Just shut up and let me help you." 

Kaidan shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips "Be my guest." 

Garrus clumsily took a hold of the front of his tie, his talons making it harder than it had to be. Slowly he started pulling the knot in the front up his shirt to his collar. "Is that too tight?" He asked, blue eyes looking into his brown ones, making Kaidan blush at the closeness.

"No...it's perfect, thank you." Kaidan's tan skin had a light tinge of pink to it and Garrus wasn't quite sure but that's probably what humans called...blushing? Yeah that was the word Shepard used. But why was he blushing? 

"Are you sure you're feeling okay? Your face is a bit pink." Garrus pointed out, only making his human partner more flustered.

"Come on, we shouldn't keep them waiting." Kaidan said as he turned away and walked ahead of him, it could've just been the amount of time they've been spending together but his feelings for Garrus are slowly evolving from professional and bordering on romantic, it wasn’t the fact that Garrus was another man or even that he was an alien that bothered him, they were partners. It wasn’t exactly frowned upon, there was no official rule about it, if there was Jacob and Buttercup wouldn’t be together but it could get in the way of a case. If a suspect made them choose between each other or the victim things could get really complicated really quickly. Kaidan liked to think they’d both be able to make the decision to save the victim over each other but he couldn’t be sure, maybe it was time for a new partner. It’s not what he wanted, but it would be for the best. 

“What did you get?” Kaidan asked the pair of detectives, Garrus following close behind him.

“Well…” Jacob opened the holo journal, pulling up the most recent entries  “the victim’s mother stopped by with her journal, thought it might help the case.”

“And will it?” Garrus asked.

Jacob nodded “I believe so, all the entries are from the time period she went missing.” 

“Is her mother still here?” Kaidan asked.

“That she is, she wanted to stay in case we had any questions, she’s pretty hysterical but who can blame her.” Buttercup answered.

Kaidan nodded “Yeah…” he didn’t have kids himself, so he couldn’t imagine what she was going through but he was going to do everything he could to get Nef back to her. 

“Where is she now?” Garrus asked.

“Put her in an interrogation room, had Verner go get her some coffee, figured having him talk her ear off might distract her.” 

Jacob chuckled “Come on Butters, hasn’t the lady suffered enough already?” he joked as he pulled up the entry she made just a day before she disappeared. 

Nef’s face popped up on the screen, a bright smile on her face “Cycle forty-two, orbit sixty-seven. She’s going to take me to her apartment tonight! Whatever happens, I want to be with her forever.” 

“Any idea who she could be talking about?” Kaidan asked.

“None, although probably a girlfriend from the sound of it.”

“I’ll play the next one.” Jacob said, pulling up the middle entry.

“Cycle thirty-six, orbit six-hundred seventy one. Am I a freak? Morinth is a girl like me and she’s definitely not human. When we dance and the Hallex is flowing through me...the way she looks at me with a hunger, a longing….no ones ever looked at me like that, we kissed tonight.”

Buttercup looked at them “Funny, the mom didn’t mention a relationship.”

“Maybe she wanted to keep a secret, sure maybe the same sex aspect wasn’t an issue but the alien aspect could’ve been.” Kaidan said, mainly speaking from experience. His parents were extremely accepting when he came out but that was probably because they assumed he met human men, which he did, until he partnered up with Garrus and now he wasn’t too sure the reaction would be as accepting if he one day told them he was dating a turian and here he was again, fussing over things that would probably never happen anyway. 

“Only one way to find out, one of us should go question her.” Buttercup said. 

 “I can go talk to her, too many of us in there might overwhelm her.” Kaidan told her.

“Good idea, you’re better with victims then I am.” Garrus said, giving him a friendly pat on the back. 

“Agreed, we’ll stay here and see what else we can dig up and let you know.” Jacob called after him as he pulled up the last entry in her journal. 

----------

Kaidan walked into the room, Conrad and Nef’s mother Diana turning to look at him “Oh, detective Alenko, good to see you, I was just dropping off some coffee.” 

Kaidan didn’t mind Conrad too much, like the other people at the precinct he put up with him but right now his voice was a little too loud for the growing headache he had. “That’s great Conrad, thank you, I need to talk to our guests now, could you give us some privacy?” he asked, giving him the best smile he could. 

“Of course, just let me know if you need anything.” He saluted before walking out of the room, Kaidan letting out a sigh “Thanks for coming down Ms-”

“Just Diana is fine.” She told him as he took a seat across from her. 

“Okay Diana, i’m detective Alenko, I wanted to ask you some questions about your daughter if you’re up for it.” 

Diana wiped her eyes “Of course, anything to find my baby.” 

“Thank you, now in her journal she mentioned a Morinth, it sounded like they were romantically involved, to your knowledge was she seeing someone?”

“So the journal helped? Oh thank goodness!” she said on a sob “I know of Morinth yes, I wouldn’t exactly say they were in a relationship, i’ve never met her and it seemed they only hung out at Purgatory.”

Kaidan nodded as he took some notes “Purgatory...and how often did she go out?” 

“My daughter didn’t have many friends so not often, until she met her.” Kaidan got the feeling she didn’t like whoever this Morinth was and he couldn’t blame her. According to Buttercup and Jacob who talked to her first, Nef had changed drastically after meeting this mystery woman.

“She also mentioned Morinth wasn’t human, any idea what species she was?” 

“An asari.” 

That was interesting, he’d run into quite a few asari mercenaries and if that were the case they would have requested a ransom and this could've been over and done with a lot sooner. “She didn’t mention the Blue suns or Eclipse?” He knew the answer but he wanted to cover all his bases just in case. 

“Not from what I recall, no, I probably would’ve come by a lot sooner if that was the case.” she placed her head in her hands “how could this happen? I thought the Citadel was supposed to be safer than Omega.” 

If there’s one thing Kaidan has learned from this job it’s that no where is really safe, evil can be found around every corner and it’s unfortunate she learned that the hard way. “We’re going to do everything we can to find your daughter ma’am.” he wasn’t going to make any promises, it would only get her hopes up and he hated to say it but Nef was probably dead by now, he was still going to do his best to find her body, but right now their main objective was to find this Morinth and bring her in to answer for what she did to this innocent girl and her mother. 

----------

“Well…” Buttercup sighed as the four of them looked at Nef’s body “anybody surprised?” she asked.

“I want to be.” Jacob answered grimly. 

“Any idea what happened here Chakwas?” Kaidan asked.

“Physically I don’t see anything, could’ve been an overdose, i’ll know more when I get to the lab.” She answered. 

“Now onto our favorite part, which one of us is telling her mother?”Buttercup asked.

“Garrus and I can go and then will meet you at the autopsy.” Kaidan suggested.

“Sounds good to me, Buttercup?” Jacob asked, turning to look at her.

“Works for me if it works for y'all, lets go.” Buttercup liked to act like she was fine and not tired but she usually kept her accent in check, lest she confuse the translators so the fact it was slipping meant this was finally getting to her. 

Kaidan’s shoulders sagged as soon as he and Garrus were somewhat alone “I wish we found her sooner.” He said softly. 

“I know, but hopefully Chakwas will give us a lead so we can get justice for her.” Garrus placed a hand on his shoulder, jostling him a bit in an attempt to cheer him up.

“Yeah...that’s the idea isn’t it?” If it was an overdose was Morinth really responsible? Maybe she gave her one to many Hallex and panicked when Nef passed out. Not a behavior he particularly condoned but it wasn’t a murder charge. Something told him it wasn’t a simple overdose but with no obvious external injuries what could it be? He really hoped Chakwas could find something. 

[holylulusworld]

More than my daddy’s boss

Summary: Two years later you are still with Dean only for your father to ruin your life.

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader, Benny Lafitte, unnamed father

Warnings: angst, age gap (Dean is around 38; Reader 25), smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, shower sex, secrets, ‘the family business’, violence, blood, language, protective/possessive Dean, comforting, fluff

Sequel to: My daddy’s boss

“Baby, you take me so well, every fucking time.” Pressed against the cool tile wall, your legs around Dean’s waist you hold tight onto his shoulder as he merciless plunges into you.

Dean was on a business trip for over a week and now he wants to catch up with the time he lost to have his way with you. Cries along with chants of your lover’s name leave your lips as you rest your head against the tile wall, just watching Dean working his cock into you.

“Such a sight, Y/N. Impaled on my cock, nipples stiff and your eyes only fixated on me, Sweetheart. Shit, you are the best fuck I ever had.” Cursing Dean slides harder into you, pressing another high out of your sore pussy.

“Dean…oh…god!” Nails biting into Dean’s shoulders you come crying out his name till your voice is hoarse.

“That’s it, Baby, …fuck…I’m gonna fill you up.” Trembling you feel Dean coat your walls, not caring about the dirty noises he makes.

Panting he nips at your neck, still holding your body in a tight grip. You are his and he wants you to feel it in your bones. For over two years he makes sure no other man comes close to you, not even your father.

Last month he had to send Benny to your father’s house as he didn’t stop calling your old phone. The phone Dean let disappear to make sure you only have contact with people he approved. Dean calls it love and protection – Sam calls it control and possessiveness.

“Missed you D’. How was your business trip?” While Dean is busy marking your neck with another hickey you slide your fingers through his damp hair.

“Boring without you. I wish you could’ve come with me. Why didn’t your boss give you a week off?” Dean mutters against your skin.

Hating the fact, you refused to give up your job. Still working for as Dean calls him ‘Magnum’ you earn enough money to be independent and that’s important to you.

“I love my job, D’, you know that. Mr. Masters tried anything to give me a week off, but my colleague got sick and I had to help him out. Next time I’ll get a few days off, Baby.” Smirking Dean presses his forehead to yours, groaning dirty words against your lips.

“Love it when you call me Baby, Y/N. Why don’t you quit your job and work for me?” Tracing your nipple with his thumb Dean causes a gasp to leave your lips and his smirk gets wider.

“Dean, I love you and what we have but I need more. I want to be independent and make my own money. I don’t want anyone to believe I got the job as I’m banging my hot boss.” Chuckling Dean nips at your lips, growling when you fist his hair harshly.

“I’m a hot boss, Sweetheart? Why not working for me then? Could show you my ass and all every day and bend you over my desk to make you scream during lunch break.” Dean won’t give up till you quit your job, so he keeps on bugging you.

“No, Winchester…” Narrowing your eyes you huff as Dean pulls out of you, pouting. “Won’t work, Dean. I’m always with you. Day and night, okay. I barely have any friends left, don’t have contact with my father. Let me have my job, Baby.”

“I’ll make you a better offer…” Dean states before he walks out of the shower, leaving you stunned behind.

Lately, you have the feeling your boyfriend gets possessive about you. Every time a man tries to get closer to you Dean or Benny are there to scare him off. Even Sam mentioned Dean is like an Alpha, trying to mark his territory.

Taking a deep breath, you walk out of the bathroom, to move your hands over Dean’s back, kissing his shoulder softly.

“D’, I’m all yours. Just let me have one thing you can’t control. I’ve got the feeling I’m losing control over my life every day more since we are a thing. I love you but sometimes you suffocate me.”

“I love you, Y/N. That’s not suffocating. It’s called caring about my girlfriend.” Dean is pissed and you can feel the tension in his body.

“Sorry, Baby. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just…” Sighing you cup Dean’s cheek to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Let me do my job. Masters is no threat for you, D’. He’s gay…”

Two weeks later you can’t believe you lost your job. All these years you thought Mr. Masters appreciates your work but instead of promoting you a new colleague got the position you wanted for so long.

In the end, Mr. Masters told you he’s not satisfied with your work any longer and suggested to ‘let you go’. While you carry your box toward Dean’s house you sniffle lightly. You put so much effort into your job for nothing.

The door opens before you can get your keys out. “Baby, already home?” Dean cocks a brow, taking the box out of your hands, glancing at the inherits. “Something wrong?”

Sobbing you hold out your arms and Dean drops the box to hold you in his arms. “He…” Choking on your words you cry into Dean’s chest and he has no clue what possibly could be wrong.

“Just tell me, Baby Girl.”

“My boss gave the promotion he promised me someone working for him for two months. Masters said that he’s no longer satisfied with my work and fired me. I’ve got no clue what I did wrong, Dean.” Sniffling you let Dean gently rub your back.

He’s clenching his jaw to the point of pain. Dean took a step back, wanted you to keep your job only for your boss to fire you. “I’ll rip him a new one. Son of a bitch!”

“No. He’s not worth it. I thought my boss is satisfied with my work, Dean. I gave my all and now…”

“Shhh…you will take a few days to calm and look for a new job. You can still work for me, but I know you don’t want to. I’ll help you if you want me to. Just stop crying, I can’t see tears leaving your beautiful eyes, Baby Girl.”

Picking you up Dean carries you toward your shared bedroom to let you cry into your favorite pillow. “I’ll be right back, okay. I’ll cancel a meeting and we can talk about your asshole of a boss.”

Walking out of the bedroom Dean dials Benny’s number, silently cursing. “Benny, my girl got fired. Find out who’s behind this. Till last week her boss was almost swooning about Y/N and now he fires my girl? I’ll break his face…”

“What do you mean with her father told you my girl is working as an escort? What the actual fuck! Son of a bitch!” Throwing papers in your former boss’s face Dean glares at the way smaller man.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let someone with a low moral work for me, Mr. Winchester. I have a reputation to lose. She can’t work for me and make money with…” Clearing his throat Mr. Masters points at his cock.

“Did you just assume my girl sucks other guys cocks for money, you worthless prude? My girl is an angel! She only was with two guys in her whole life. Only as she has a worthless piece of shit as a father doesn’t mean she’s a whore! You will pay her for the rest of the year and apologize to me right now!”

Benny stands behind Mr. Masters's chair, squeezing the trembling man’s shoulders hard. “Mr. Winchester gave you an order. Follow it.” Benny rumbles squeezing your former boss’s shoulder harder and the man gasps.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester. Sir.”

Dean silently nods before he leaves the room to let Benny finish his job.

Outside Dean checks his messages while Benny does his job, making sure Mr. Masters knows from now on no one messes with Dean Winchesters girl.

“Dean…” Sniffling you rush into your boyfriend’s arms as you hold a bunch of pictures in your hands. With trembling fingers, you show him the pictures, or rather an advertisement for an escort service using your picture.

“What the…?” Cursing Dean rips the pictures into pieces. “Everything is going to be alright, Baby Girl. Your boss fired you as your fine daddy showed him these advertisements. I’m going to visit your daddy and make sure he knows his place.”

Tears roll down your cheeks while you crumble another picture. “How can he do this to me, Dean? I lost my job and none of my friends calls me back. They all believe this is true…”

Cupping your cheek Dean wipes your tears away with his thumb. “No one hurts my girl. I’m going to make sure everyone knows you are innocent, okay. How about you take a warm bath and I call a friend to help me.”

“Do you believe this…” Sniffling you point at the pictures and Dean gasp, bringing you into his arms.

“I’m not a nice guy sometimes too, but I do love you, Sweetheart. I told you about the trick and all. I would never believe this shit, okay. You’re only my dirty girl.” Nodding you let Dean wipe more tears away.

“You’re a good man. An ass for tricking my dad back then, but you didn’t force me to have hot sex with you, D’. My dad did this on purpose to hurt me. You were just a horny old man.” Giggling you watch Dean’s eyes darken before his lips are on yours, devouring your mouth.

“I’m not old! But you’re right, I was horny and after your cute ass. Now, bath, bed and relax. I’ve got this, Sweetheart.”

“Who are you really, Winchester? This is not business as usual.” Your father pants as Benny hits his face again, causing his lip to split.

“Smart, Mr. Y/L/N.” Smirking Dean scapes a chair over the floor in the cold room Benny brought your father to.

Sitting on the chair Dean gets his gun out, resting the hand holding it onto his thigh. “I’m not just a businessman. Did you ever hear about Purgatory?”

Gasping your father starts shaking. “This can’t be, this organization got destroyed years ago. None of the mob survived according to the news.” Eyes darting between Benny’s fists covered in your father’s blood and Dean’s gun your father starts panting.

“Do you always believe what the guys on TV tell you?” Pinching your father's cheek with his fingers Benny smirks. “Only our enemies got killed, people not following orders or too dumb to keep their mouths shut.”

“You see, Y/N is my girl, the woman I love and she just lost the job she loved because of you. Her friends don’t call her back and she’s crying for over a week and I can tell…” Now Dean gets up to aim his gun to your father's forehead, smirking as he pees his pants. “I hate seeing my girl cry for sure.”

“I didn’t…my wife…she…”

“You..what…” Mocking your father Dean taps the barrel of his gun to his forehead. “Speak in a normal sentences, asshole. You tried to hurt my girl!”

“I wanted to blackmail you, make some money. I thought…I would never…I’m sorry…” Sniffling your father looks up at Dean, begging him silently to not use his gun.

Dean smirks, unlocking his gun before he pulls the trigger. A scream escapes your father's lips as he realizes the bullet never hit him.

“Dude! What’s that smell…” Benny waves his hand in front of his nose, scrunching it up in disgust.

“I think our friend just shit his pants.” Dean chuckles, securing his gun.

“Mr. Winchester…please…” Fisting your father's hair Dean gets a knife out to carve an ___ (the first letter of your name) into his cheek. Blood is running down your father's face, and he shakes in fear.

“This is your last warning. Y/N is my girl, my family. You say her name ever again…you die. Every day you look into the mirror this…” Tapping your fathers’ cheek with the knife Dean’s features darken. “…will remind you that Y/N is the only reason I let you live. One word to anyone about what happened tonight, and you wish I ended you right now.”

“Shall I dump him in front of his house, Chief?”

“No.” Tossing twenty bucks at your father Dean turns around. “He can call a cab. We won’t ruin our car for this stinking, worthless piece of shit. Let’s go. My girl needs me, Benny.”

Before following his boss Benny cuts the ropes holding your father open, leaning close to his ear.

“I suggest you forget what happened here and never tell anyone. Y/N is a nice girl and I don’t want her to go to your funeral right now. Boss showed mercy tonight. Normally you would be dead by now. Be grateful…”

“How do you feel, Baby Girl?” Walking into the bedroom, warm tea in his hands Dean watches your face with concern. You must’ve cried even more as your eyes are puffy and red. “Don’t worry about your job. Just work for me, Y/N. You can work with Sam if you think that’s better.”

“I can’t…” Sniffling you twist the blanket in your hand, trying to hide what scares you to hell and back.

“Baby, come on. Sammy won’t bite you. Promised. Only I’m allowed to bite your cute ass.” Placing the tea onto the nightstand at your side of the bed Dean cups your cheeks to kiss your tears away. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I…” Choking on your words you show Dean the positive pregnancy test in your hand. “It was an accident, I swear. I don’t know how this could happen…” Crying even harder you gasp as Dean moves his arms around you, shushing you genty.

“Baby, I’m happy. I always wanted to become a daddy. Now I’m going to have a baby with the woman I love. Now stop crying. I want to call Sammy and tell him the good news.”

“You’re happy?”

“Damn right, Sweetheart.” Chuckling Dean pecks your lips. “Can we name the baby Impala when it’s a boy?” He asks cocking a brow and you take your pillow and hit his head hard.

“I’m not going to call my son Impala, Winchester…”

“That’s not over…” Pointing at your belly Dean smirks. “Gonna call him Impala…”

“No way…” Giggling you let Dean nuzzle his nose into your neck. “Love you, Baby Girl.”

“Love you too, D’.”

“You and me. Together we will rule this godforsaken town.” Dean whispers in your ear and you’ve got no clue what he means but you nod, simply enjoying his strong arms wrapped around you.

SPN Forever Tags

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[whereisstevethestove]

Storms of Soul and Lightning: Flying Dutchman AU

Fandoms: Sanders sides and technically the lore behind the Flying Dutchman.

Characters: Logan, Patton, Remy, Remus

Relationships: Logan/Patton

Additional tags: Mer AU, Pirate AU, Human AU

TWs: Major Character Deaths. (For the plot, it is a ghost ship after all.)

Word count: 1150

Summary:  How Patton and Logan come to join The Dutchman

Notes:  Haha, I’m so sorry.

AO3

Ten Years after Remus Joined The Dutchman.

...

“Patton, gather the crew into my quarters.”  Logan commanded as he pushed his wet hair from his face.

Patton nodded and disappeared below decks as another swell rocked the side of Fallen Atlas and Logan stumbled to his quarters, throwing the door open and getting in.

Forty-five was a long time to live.  Especially with the lifestyle that he had led over the past twenty five years.  Logan was tired.  He could tell that Patton was growing older in his years as well, no longer able to climb or fight as well as they both had been able to in the golden years.

The ship herself was old now, forty years old, the only thing keeping her together was the countless repairs and the love that had been poured into her.  Logan was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of splintering and a moment later, Patton was ushering in the twenty men of the crew.

“Hello.”

“Captain…”  one of the cooks trailed off when he saw the look in Logan’s eyes.

Patton shut the door and bolted it as lightning flashed across the sky.  

“I’m sorry.  If we had known the storm was coming, we would have never left port.”  Logan adjusted his glasses and looked across his crew.  “However, I do believe that this is our final voyage.”

Patton was standing next to him, and Logan wrapped an arm around him.

One of the youngest, a boy no older than fourteen, Logan remembered that he had joined most recently.

“What’s happening?”  He stared at Logan with tired mocha eyes and the captain held back tears.

“Fallen Atlas will not make it through the storm.”

The boy’s eyes filled with tears and a crewmate that was next to him wrapped him in a hug, holding the sobbing boy close.

Logan took a deep breath.  “Men. It was an honor to serve the sea with you.”

Patton spoke up.  “It was glorious, wasn’t it Lo?”

“Captain?”

“There’s no need to call me that anymore.”  Logan said calmly as the ship groaned and more splintering sounds came from outside.

“Logan, it was an honor to be on your crew.”

“Aye, a toast to the captain and his husband!”

“A toast!” “Aye!”

Lightning flashed.  Another swell hit the side of the boat and the candles in the room went out as the window panelling at the back of the room shattered.

No one screamed, but the fourteen year old boy pushed himself out of the arms of the crewmate that he was with, stumbling to the captain.

“You never got my name, I want to die with someone knowing it.”

Patton wordlessly said nothing as he pulled the boy into the embrace that he and the captain were in.  “Tell us.”

“Remy.”

Logan let out a choked sob as lightning struck again, closer this time by the boom of thunder that followed it.

“You deserved so much better.  I apologize again.”

Remy said nothing, but instead tucked his head against Logan’s neck, hiding as the final swell hit them.

Fallen Atlas tipped sideways, her crew inside the captain’s quarters, all of them together as cold, unforgiving water swept through and drowned them all.

…

Logan blinked.

He was sitting in a rowboat on the smoothest water he’d ever seen, Patton across from him and Remy in his lap, asleep.

Patton was clearly awake.

“Love?”

“Lo… I think we’re dead.”  Patton whispered softly.  Logan looked at himself and back to Patton.

“You look younger.”

“Aye.  Look around, the rest of the crew is here as well, all in our primes.”

Logan glanced around the still water, seeing a few other similar boats.  It was foggy though and the only indication of other boats were the glowing lanterns.

A mournful song cut through the air.

And that’s when a ship made out of what looked like mist and wood loomed into view.

Logan gasped softly.  “The Flying Dutchman.”

The ship glided smoothly, passing unaware crewmates until it slowly drifted to a stop in the still water.

Remy stirred from his spot in Logan’s lap.  Logan tore his gaze from the ship to make sure the boy was okay.

“We’re... dead?”

“Yes.”

Remy sniffed and Logan wiped at his tears.  “I’m sorry little one.”

“Souls of Fallen Atlas!”

Logan and Patton looked up at the ship, seeing a familiar sailor, who was now wearing a captain’s hat and a pitying expression.

“Your ship went down about a month ago and it took me and my crew quite the time to find your souls.  Welcome to being dead!  It’s not quite the purgatory that one would expect, but who am I to judge?  I’m the captain of this lovely place and I’ll guide you to the afterworlds.”

The captain took a deep breath.

“Of course, if you’re not ready to move on, there is one other option.”

Logan and Patton exchanged glances.

“Join my crew!  We had a few move one recently, we have enough spots for three.”

Logan gently ran a hand through Remy’s hair.  “Do you want another chance?”

“Yes.”

“Very well, I shall join you.”

“I as well.”  Patton adjusted his glasses and stood, rocking their boat.  “Captain?  We wish to join the Dutchman.”

The captain looked at the group and nodded.  “Welcome Logan, Patton and Remy.”

Logan wondered how he knew their names.  Sure the captain looked familiar, but Logan had seen many people come and go from Fallen Atlas, what was one ghost captain?”

Their rowboat floated silently over to the side of a ship and a rope was thrown down.

Remy was first up, the young boy silent as he climbed, followed by Patton and then Logan, who was amazed at what taking twenty years off your dying age could do.  At least he assumed that he was roughly twenty-five now.  It felt like that age.

Once his feet landed on the deck, the captain swept into a bow.  “Welcome.”

“Thank you.”

The captain looked at Remy, who was standing in between Logan and Patton.  “You left too soon.”

Remy shifted on his feet and looked away.  “I know.”

“If you serve the ship for a hundred years, I’ll allow you to return to live a normal life.”

“Really?”

The captain nodded.  “Aye.”

“Thank you.”  Remy whispered and the captain gave a satisfied nod.  “Good.  Now, as to you two.  I remember you well.”  

Logan tilted his head in confusion as the captain grinned and wrapped him in a hug.

“I’m Remus, was part of your crew for about eight years.  You both were only a few years older than me.”

The pieces clicked and Logan gasped, returning the hug.  “We thought you were captured and killed in port.”

“Whoops.”

Patton giggled and Remus grinned.  “Your husband treat you well in life?”

“Course, Lo’s the best.”

“Good.   Well, men.  Let’s get to work.”

[inviouswriting]

Eyes that stare into the Soul

Part of the polypairing with @maiden-born-in-snow 

Some interactions between Ardbert, Kivera and Divinity. Maybe including Parn too.

Part of the Primal AU in mentions.

There was always an air between Ardbert and Kivera. Not an unpleasant one, but awkward between them. They have danced around each other in the process of getting to know each other. Kivera was always around either Shuri or Estinien, and he wanted to have a conversation with the reaper along with Divinity.

The warrior of light eyed the elusive being currently resting her head on Divinity’s lap having her head petted. He caught on that these two especially had an intricate bond, Divinity spoke in riddles around them saying hers and Kivera’s story is one that the angel needs to say instead of Divinity. Perhaps because their story made Divinity nervous to tell, and Kivera is easier at the truth of their lives.

Ardbert became aware that he is stared at, the moment he walked into the room the two were in. Near windows always near a window or mirror. Conduits to escape.

“Your eyes unnerve me.” Ardbert says eyeing the green eyed one. He makes sure not to keep her stare for too long. She played an unfair prank during a staring contest and froze his feet to the floor. 

“How so?” Kivera raises her head off Divinity’s lap, she was in her miqo form today, easier to receive comfort from everyone when she isn’t towering like the elezen are.

“It feels like you are staring into my soul, like you can read my life, like you are judging me with your eyes.” Divinity sits back and knows where this is going. She smiles though as this is a good thing, the two had never spoke much beyond hellos and brief in the moments when intimate with their mutual lovers.

“Ah, so you feel it then. The reason you feel that is because of what I am. Most who have experienced death will feel this. I am staring at your soul, and I am judging silently.  Call it gauging what mood you are in. It’s a passive thing I can’t help doing.” Kivera explains and Ardbert feels a little better with that explanation, but it is the vivid of her green eyes that unnerves him. 

“Guilty conscience? Usually when souls are uneasy around me. They have something they’re guilty of. I am after all keeper of a realm called Purgatory. In that realm all secrets are revealed. In order to move forward.” Kivera picks up on his demeanor, a longing in him, unrest. She could offer him the same trip she had taken Kiya’s love on, to find peace in himself. For different reasons. Ardbert would without a doubt be truly tested compared to the trip the other one took in exchange for sparing his lover.

“Might just be, when I stare at you, I am reminded of my own suspension in limbo.” He sees the way her nose wrinkles at the mention of a plain of existence. 

“You were a lost soul, Limbo is not where you were.” She corrects him. She knows every location in the underworld and has ferried many souls from the real Limbo. 

“I meant it in passing terms.” Divinity runs her fingers through Kivera’s hair to get her to settle down. Ardbert understands that, it was insulting to the souls that actually have and are there.

“Forgive me.” He moves to sit across from the reaper, he was right he did ruffle her a bit with that comment the outer edges of her irises were a orange tint.

“Need to have a little more care for passing terms. Those that have experienced the real limbo. Would not find your terms too pleasing.” Divinity speaks up for a change, she tugs an ear on Kivera to get her to relax her demeanor. Underworld keepers were protective of the realm. 

“I understand that now, let me rephrase. I felt stuck between voids. Living and Death.” He receives a nod from them both. All three of them have experienced death in different ways. He had heard how Divinity died at the hands of a mob setting her on fire calling her a witch. Where she had met Kivera, giving her a peaceful death sitting on the pyre. 

He glances to the Libra spirit, her odd eyes, the gold one blind despite the vivid color and the way she moves it like she can see him. Perhaps she sees something else. The silver eye does see, framed by stark white hair a common trait among the lovers. 

“Tell me of your world then? I know little of you, whilst everyone else does know you so well. I tend to feel out of place at your side. You know my life, you can easily read it. While you remain such a mystery.” Ardbert sees the colors dance on the angel’s eyes. Yellow for confusion to a speck of blue then back to green. He has seen how those eyes light up bright gold and purple around the others. He has only received the green hues and brief yellow when caught staring.

“Are you sure you want to hear that story? Or witness it?” She gives him the chance to back out, even moving to stand up from her relaxed spot. 

“Aye, I do.” He doesn’t miss the way her eyes light up, another person who actually wants to know her instead of just to be with her. Kivera figures a way to show him, that won’t overwhelm or cause a worry for power use in the house. Divinity moves to sit across from Ardbert her expression soft yet a little solemn since her own past will be shown too. 

Kivera shows him the same way she showed Shuri. Using fire and orbs letting it play out for him to see all that happened to herself and to Divinity. From Kivera being used for a ritual, her rise to the heavens in ranks, he finds the angelic form alluring but sees how she was thrown for following her heart, the descent into Hell itself, he and Estinien are the ones shown what she endured through Hell. How she lost her eyes and how she was blinded. He understands why Shuri and Estinien are protective and secretive of it. Shuri was spared the sight that was in Hell. She and Aymeric were not shown. 

Ardbert almost glances up till Divinity barks an order surprising him.

“Don’t you dare look away. You’re being judged.” Divinity can see the ruby irises among black sclera that stare down, something the others could not see when they were being shown is how she judges them reacting to her life. Bright red eyes, if one looks away from this, she would forever shut them out of her trust. Kivera did not look at Shuri this way because she had shown her in the comfort of her home and knew she’d accept it.

Ardbert sees how broken down Kivera was, but stumbled blinded through, the frozen land she had walked, till she collapsed on the shores of Purgatory. He is shown how she and another young spirit climbed the mountain, every single moment shown to him was important to what made the reaper.

How she obtained new eyes, her missions as new reaper, taking her revenge on her murderer. Meeting Divinity, a young girl of eighteen autumns how Divinity was branded a witch and killed for it. After that was things he did not know about Kivera. Her lover, her thirst of knowledge, how she came into possession of her scythe, shown it is her very heart how he understands the eye in her weapon is an extension of herself.

 Every moment after that was a rise to power. Then the event that all of them speak of in her loss of a lover. Damien. How he was used to lure Kivera to a great arcane ritual, to change the necromancer they were fighting to a full lich. A monster even he is terrified to have seen. One that the voidsents of Tam-Tara could never achieve to be.

There was a moment where everything she had shown clicked with things and her odd mannerisms. The way she is constantly staring, at any of the white mages who talk of raising the dead. It is a precaution she is seeing if they’re driven to madness. Every moment after the cataclysm he was shown in her awakening, he sees her tearing through the voidsent to save their friend in Kiya from her certain death. An event they had spoken of whether or not Kiya would be slain, seeing the grief first hand on Aymeric when he had beseeched them in the matter.

Kivera ends the showing when they reach the point they are at now with talking. Once the orb and flames dissipate he stays there staring till he is told he can look up.

“Thoughts? You are free to look up.” Ardbert does and understands why Divinity told him to keep his eyes on the orb. He’s reminded that this is a other world being. The black sclera unnerves him more than her green eyes do. Her eyes return to normal understanding it is her magic use to show these memories.

“You have experienced such pains. I am glad you trust me enough to share these finally.” Kivera sits down across from him, a flicker of gold crosses her green eyes.

“Pain is what makes us either stronger or weaker. I’ve made my peace with it. What you choose to do with my past makes for how I act around you now. You cannot go telling other people obviously. Only those who have seen it will understand.” Kivera had assumed her main appearance, the black and white wings add to her warnings and reminders of what she is more than who she is.

She curls her black wing for a feather out of it, feeling the white would remind him too much of the sin eaters wings. She fixes the feather into a pendant for him. Ardbert looks at the feather, seeing how the edges of it are serrated like an owls. Silent as death. How he is reminded of that phrase.

“Why do you assume an angel form when you are a demon? If you mind my asking.” 

“Children. They’re less scared of me if they see a form that looks like what they believe in.” 

“Children?” He receives a nod. He knows too well that young souls perish too frequent. Always a sad thought, but one he understands. 

“Do they suffer?”

“Never. I may be death, but I make sure they never experience cruelty beyond what their lives could have been.” 

“That thought gives me as much comfort as I’ll get.” 

“I’m glad it does. I never asked for the role, yet I’ll do it because I know what it is like to suffer at the hands of tyrants.” 

“Aye, you showed me.”

“Don’t forget it. I was once human.”

“I won’t forget it. Also... the way you sparred, I’ll have to challenge you one of these days.”

“Think you can get further than our dragoon?” Kivera’s voice is teasing.

“I might have a few tricks up my sleeves.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” There is a pause between them as they finally reach mutual ground.

“May I?” He had closed the distance, Divinity sits behind Kivera her hands had returned to the reaper’s hair starting to braid the longer black hair. Kivera tilts her head wondering what he is asking. Then it clicks, if he was seeking affection.

“Not scared of me?”

“I was never afraid of you, just unnerved a bit.” Ardbert takes initiative, and looks to Divinity who snares Kivera’s waist to hold her in place to receive a kiss. Not a forced affection. She knows Kivera will disappear if she never wants affection from someone. Slip into another realm of existence. Kivera allows the timid kiss, meeting Ardbert. There is fire racing through her spine almost electric at the generous press, a test between them.

The color he was hoping he’d see was the purple irises that stare at the others so tender. He receives it, bright and alluring. Drawn into the way the two accept him. 

Kivera leans back to Divinity, who winds her arms around her fellow star spirit. The way they hold each other he has noticed is more comforting and relaxed. He saw why they’re like that, both have had many nightmares to face. Kivera glances up over him his guess towards a chronometer. Anticipating the time between when loved ones would return. There is mischief in those purple eyes now.

Ardbert has seen that stare directed at Shuri and Estinien. The two girls before him exchange a look and nod. Before he knows it Ardbert is snared at his arms from vines he didn’t know had manifested from the grassy floor and pulled down. He is surprised wondering what and why till Kivera moves to sit on his waist. The vines disappear. Her magic. 

“I am guessing you are playful then?” He asks, seeing how she works to rid him of clothing. Divinity helping by starting to blindfold him while Kivera works her magic in multi ways that he has seen used on the others.

“Mayhap just a little. I don’t see you complaining though.” 

“Then shall we start?”

“We shall.”

[mittensmorgul]

Favorite season, favorite non-human species, favorite season big bad, favorite season finale, favorite The Road So Far sequence, favorite crack ship, favorite catchphrase, favorite character that was in only one episode, favorite angel other than Castiel, favorite MotW episode, favorite version of Castiel that is not quite Cas, favorite prop, favorite season opener, funniest episode, most emotional episode. Do as much as you want! *The SPN Question fairy*

oh my goodness… this is a lot, Question Fairy. :D

Favorite season: 11 (so far, but I mean 13 is eyeballing it and saying hold my beer so…)

Favorite non-human species: This is almost impossible to answer, because what do you mean by “favorite?” I mean Cas is my favorite (currently) non-human character, but the rest of the angels are kinda dicks. :P Demons have stirred up the most trouble for the Winchesters over the years (aside from angels), and they always make for interesting storylines. I like Death, and Billie and Tessa sort of pushed Reapers to the top of the pile too (I’ve got 5.21 on right now, and Death just made his Grand Entrance, so that’s kinda hard to beat). And despite the gross factor, I have a secret liking for shapeshifters because they tend to be pretty heavy Dean mirrors. And Witches are technically human, right? *casts heart-eyes in Rowena’s direction anyway*

ETA: BECAUSE I STARTED THIS PRE-COFFEE AND DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE I MISSED IT UNTIL I SAW LIZBOB’S POST: Favorite Seaon Big Bad: Metadouchetron

Favorite season finale: Ack this is really difficult. I guess folks are supposed to say 5.22 (and I’ll be watching it in about 20 minutes here), but… It’s… not my favorite. Then again, I’ve been watching the entire series in a continuous loop for so long that I have a hard time thinking of season finale episodes as standalone things, or as endings. They’re just part of the loop. Most of them feel like an artificial and random stopping point to me now. I mean, I guess in that sense, 5.22 is the stop-iest of all the random stopping points. It ties up the most threads, but it also sets up several of the most angst-ridden narratives for s6 (Cas flapping off to Heaven to grow into the Big Bad for s6, Sam coming back from the cage almost immediately but being soulless and not telling Dean he was back for a year, and what all of that did to Dean during that year when basically his entire family betrayed and lied to him… I mean, it makes it impossible for me to actually enjoy watching 5.22, because it’s all right there at the end… I mean, they technically get the win, but in the suckiest and most depressing way possible.) (ETA, since I’m watching it right now, The Worst Promise that Sam extracts from Dean, about leaving Sam in the Cage and getting out of hunting and living the normal apple pie life… because it practically breaks Dean to do it. He fucking hates that life, and yeah Lisa holds him together, barely, but hell if it doesn’t just give him an entirely new set of horrors in the end… like, I hate that Sam ever made him promise any of that. Like, hate with a fiery passion.)

So on those grounds, maybe 11.23 is my favorite season finale, because it set up something entirely new, and all of tfw were on the same page, everyone was alive at any rate, they’d just had the biggest win of their lives. Sure Cas and Sam didn’t know that yet, but literally the power of love saved the day, Dean used his words to paste the entire universe back together, and they were all about to have a second chance to get to know Mary.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve only run through the s11-into-12 portion of the endless loop of Supernatural three or four times yet so it hasn’t had a proper chance to blur into the beginning of s12 in my mind.

But as for the looping loop, I guess I should mention 7.23, because in my SPN Is Just One Long Continuous Loop Of A Story brain, it sets up everything for s8. And Purgatory.

ack, sorry if this is a really unsatisfying answer, but season finales are largely unsatisfying without factoring in the continuing story for me at this point. :P

Favorite The Road So Far sequence: 9.01, Who Do You Love? (I mean, come on, that was fantastic. Who do you love? *close up on Cas’s face*). 

Favorite crack ship: {{{{{CROWLATRON INTENSIFIES}}}}}

Favorite catch phrase: HELLO, DEAN. (that counts as a catch phrase, right?) Or maybe, “So get this?”

Favorite One-Off Character: Oh gosh this is a hard one… there’s just… so many. I was gonna say Ronald Resnick from 2.12, but he technically showed up again in 4.02 as a ghost so I can’t really count him. So maybe Detective Ballard from 2.07 (heck I’ve even written her into an AU fic), or Mildred from 11.11. I almost wish I couldn’t include her on this list, because dangit I’d love to see Mildred again.

Favorite angel other than Cas: Metatron (yeah, he wasn’t an angel at the end but whatever)

Favorite MotW: Plucky Pennywhistle’s. I mean, 7.14 is one of the few episodes in the entire series that I’ll just rewatch at random. It’s also pretty much the only cracky episode that doesn’t turn horrifically dark by the end. But for entirely different episodes, I gotta mention 1.12 (because Faith always gets a mention), 8.08 (because CAS in a MotW!), 9.06 (because CAS and DEAN and my heart shattering into a million pieces), 10.11 (because CHARLIE and also because Robbie essentially foreshadowed years’ worth of plot with this one episode), 11.11 (because EILEEN and MILDRED and FOLLOW YOUR HEART DEAN), and lets throw in 13.06 because COWBOY HATS oh my god I am still not over it.

ETA: heck there are more… 11.19 because Hunter Husbands. There are a few others I waffle about adding, like 13.05 (because heck there’s mytharc in there, same with 13.04), 11.04 because Baby, aaaand I’m just gonna shut up now before I add half the dang series on here…

Favorite version of Cas that’s not quite Cas: meh, I don’t really like it when Cas isn’t quite himself. But setting aside my personal feelings of angsty heartbreak when Cas is not quite Cas… I love Meta!Misha’s portrayal of Cas in 6.15.

Favorite Prop: Dean’s 1911. Or maybe angel blades. Because of the *flippy flippy* thing… Oh, but if we’re talking a one-off prop, probably this poor cat skull because the entire show once used it to apologize to me personally:

Favorite Season Opener: (I assume you want a full episode and not just the opening sequence here) 4.01 Lazarus Rising (well, duh! :D)

Funniest Episode: GAH this is so hard, because often the “funny episodes” take a huge turn toward the dark side… like 3.11. I mean, it goes from death by funny tasting tacos to Sam becoming the absolute most ruthless version of himself, and that second half of the episode is really hard to unsee… :D

Like I said above, that’s one of the reasons why I like 7.14 so much. I adore 7.09 until the end, because oh my god. 3.03 is hilarious, except for the eternal tragedy of Sam’s lost shoe. I love 4.08 (until right up near the end when again they need to bring the tone back down about Dean’s time in Hell…), and of course 6.15 (again, until right up at the end when Cas flaps off without giving them any answers about what the heck’s going on)…

ETA: OH MY GOD HOW COULD I FORGET 6.09? I am a terrible person. YOU FIGHT THOSE FAIRIES.

Most Emotional Episode: oh gosh, which emotion? :P For pure screaming angst, 6.20. 12.22 for Dean and Mary angst. 8.17 for being the Original Flavor Crypt Scene. I mean, I have three separate tags for different iterations of the crypt scene… I should probably consolidate those into one… my blog is a disaster area. :P

Well, that was fun! And it got me from 5.21 all the way through the first quarter of 6.01! WHEEE! :D

[suicidesquadgirl13]

Day 4: Sleepover/Reconciliation

It’s day 4, I can’t believe we’re halfway through @trifiesta ,Well here’s another story in my Witch AU. @regifa and everyone I hope you enjoy.

-

“Again, I’m so sorry about this,” Yokozawa apologized for the millionth time gather his weapons and double checking his onyx roses.

“It’s fine Yokozawa,” Kirishima said, “Though I am a bit surprised that you asked me to watch your place instead of Hatori.”

“Hatori is coming with us, however, I’ll be back by late afternoon or early evening,” Yokozawa sighed “Out of all days why today, and why a second sphere angel.”

“Hey,” Kirishima said wrapping his arms around Yokozawa’s waist. “You’re an Umbra Angel hunter, it’s your job to help keep balance in the world. You’ll be fine and I’ll be fine, and when you get back we can do lovely dovely couple stuff to make up for it, deal?”

Yokozawa scoffed before saying “Deal, I’ll be back as soon as I can, I left some rules in the space, try to found them as accurately as you can.”

With that the pair stepped outside Yokozawa’s apartment, Yokozawa snapped his finger and his symbol appears outside on the door.

“Ok, you’re sure you’ve got this?” Yokozawa asked.

“Yes,” Kirishima said shooing Yokozawa off “Go kill some angels for me.”

Yokozawa blows a mocking kiss before he stepped in purgatory and was out of sight until Kirishima put his glasses on and enter Yokozawa’s witch space. Kirishima stood at the entrance before looking around to find it was…well huge. It could be a mansion, Kirishima then spotted a piece of fold paper next to a plate of raw steaks. Kirishima raised an eyebrow before reading Yokozawa’s house-sitting instructions.

Step 1: Feed my pets

“Pets?” Kirishima said a loud confused before reading more.

I have two pet hyenas that I got as a gift for my twentieth birthday, their named Suki, and Yuki. Their manes are dyed distinct colors so you can tell the difference between them, they should recognize your scent and not attack you. They just need to be fed every two hours, other than that you can play with them and pet them. They're pretty friendly and laid back, but be warned their barking sounds like human laughter.

At that exact moment, Kirishima heard something like human laughter he then turned to see two hyenas, one with a red streaked mane and the other with a black streaked mane, trotting towards him. Kirishima froze for a second as the two animals sniffed him before rubbing themselves up against him affectionately. He sighed in relief before petting the tamed animals before he read the instructions for feeding them.

To feed them they both have separate food dishes, placed a whole steak in eat one.

“Seems simple enough,” Kirishima said to himself before he paled as he continued to read.

Although they’re tamed, I suggest you use the following commands to minimize the danger to you.

Basic commands

Sit Come Heel Stay Food (You need to snap twice when you say this) Play Fetch No

Avoid using the terms “chew toy” and “snack time” around them. If you say, “chew toy”, they interpret it as an order to get ready for an attack and they WILL get very aggressive and start growling. If at any time you encounter an intruder in my space shout “Snack Time!” and the girls will attack said, intruder.

Kirishima then felt something wet on his hand to find the hyena with a red mane licking his hand. Kirishima bends down to the hyena’s height still petting it before checking the name tag.

“So, your Suki,” Kirishima said, as if to say he was correct the hyena licked his face. Kirishima then looked over to the hyena with the black mane, who was laying down. “Then you must be Yuki.”

Yuki picked their head up before settling back down. Kirishima smirked before petting her.

“This is going to be easy,” Kirishima said before placing the raw steaks in their respective bowls before setting it down. He snapped twice watching as the two’s head stood up. “Food.”

The pair then trotted over to their bowls and started eating. Kirishima watches them for a few moments before checking the list again.

Step 2: Move and water the plants.

“Huh?” Kirishima looked at words confused before reading further.

I have room in my space with some plants that were gifted to me from Hatori, I water them every day but I need to move certain potted plant periodically to ensure they do overtake other plants.

Kirishima then walked around the space before seeing a door with a leaf on it, he carefully turned the knob to the room and was met with plants of all kind. “Whoa.” Kirishima then looked at the instructions again.

Just move the plants with red labels to different corners of the room before watering them. Be careful of the Venus fly trap, they will try to eat you if you’re not careful.

Kirishima automatically spotted the fly trap and decided to move it first before moving the other plants, Yokozawa didn’t really have instruction on how to water them, he just says to make sure to empty the spray bottle. Kirishima water the plant before shutting the door.

“Done and done,” Kirishima said to himself before scanning the list again “I’ve got this.

-

Throughout the day Kirishima completed the tasks giving to him as accurately as he could, he made sure to feed and play with Suki and Yuki. He put away books that always seem to float out of their shelves, he redrew the protect pentagram under a shrine and put fresh flowers in the middle, left sage burning outside a cursed artifacts room and he made sure not to break anything important. Kirishima was just relaxing with Suki and Yuki when he heard something like footstep coming from upstairs. He shot up looking at the instructions in a panic before he paled at an instruction he missed.

Step 6: Make sure the black door with the red star is always locked.

I need you to test the knob every hour to make sure the door is locked. There are more dangerous artifacts in that room and a joy angel that can take any shape it wants. It’s most like going to look like me, but it’s not me. If you encounter the angel, treat it like it’s me but call for Suki and Yuki, make sure you have the key to the room in hand and if you manage to get the angel back into the room, lock the door then draw this pentagram on the door, spit scotch on the door and knock three times. This reseals the door.

“Zen?” Yokozawa’s voice rang out as the imposter enter the living room “What are you doing here?”

Damn, this Angel was good. They looked exactly like Yokozawa, but Kirishima knew better and played along just like the instructions said.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kirishima answered, “Should you be asleep?”

“I should?” The imposter Yokozawa glanced at a door that Kirishima assumed was a makeshift bedroom.

“No matter, you’re up now at least,” Kirishima played off the statement.

Suddenly Suki and Yuki started to growl at the imposter whose eyes changed in a flash, but Kirishima pretended not to notice and commanded “Heel!”

Suki and Yuki stopped growling but stayed by Kirishima’s side protectively.

“Sorry, I must have forgotten to feed them,” Kirishima said with a sly smile getting up “Want to head to the green room, the Venus fly traps missed you.”

“Right…” The imposter Yokozawa didn’t know what to do but Kirishima kept them distracted until then reach a point near the place the angel had come from.

“Zen, I think we should head back,” Imposter Yokozawa said looking nervous before eyeing the two hyenas’ at Kirishima’s side.

“I know, but I left Suki and Yuki’s chew toy around here,” Kirishima worded carefully. Suki and Yuki then started growling at the imposter Yokozawa baring their teeth at them. The imposter's eyes widen and they froze.

“Zen…” They said panicked.

“Don’t worry, it’s…snack time!” Kirishima said pointing to the imposter and the two hyenas attack ferociously. Kirishima watched the wild animals bit and clawed at the imposter.

“Ok, heel,” Kirishima said calmly before the hyena’s stopped. The imposter was unconcise, so Kirishima dragged the body through the door before closing and locking it. He gargled some scotch before spitting it on the door and redrew the pentagram.

“That was a close one,” Kirishima sighed before petting Suki and Yuki for comfort before heading back to the living room

-

A while later Kirishima was shaken awake by Yokozawa who was covered in angel blood smelling like rosemary, pomegranate, and roses.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Yokozawa said “Sorry I was gone so long.”

“It’s ok, I’ll just sleep over,” Kirishima said cheekily.

“Kirishima, it’s the next day.” Yokozawa said grabbing a towel and wiped his face off “Time is non-existent in my space.”

“Really?” Kirishima asked stretching.

“Yeah, sorry about leaving you here overnight,” Yokozawa said, “How did housesitting go?”

“It was nice,” Kirishima replied looking down at the sleeping Suki and Yuki “I’d do it again.”

“You would?” Yokozawa questioned looking surprised.

Kirishima smiled. “Yeah, it was fun.”

From then on, if Yokozawa had to go out of town to hunt angels, Kirishima would watch his space.

[georgiabread]

falling for you ; phan | chapter thirty seven

Full summary ; Dan Howell is dead. Well, sort of. He’s a guardian angel, forced to protect only one human, and that human is Cat. But when he accompanies Cat to school, he can’t help but be intrigued by the broken boy with the black hair who sits by the window in class and disappears at lunch times. Dan realises this boy needs more protection than Cat will ever need, so he takes on human form to save him. But soon he finds himself falling in love, which is something he definitely can’t do. Dan Howell is an angel, and he’s falling for Phil.

Tags ; highschool!phan, teenage!phan, plantboy!phil, spaceboy!dan, angel!dan, phan, phan au, phan fluff, phan angst, chaptered

TWs ; bullying, violence, mentions of self-harm, mentions of death/suicide, depression, panic attacks, physical and verbal abuse, homophobia, foul language and supernatural themes.

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"Cause we've no time for getting old. Mortal bodies; timeless souls. Cross your fingers, here we go—"

dan ;

"So...when you were an angel, did you have to wear those – you know – white robes?"

A resounding laugh instantly followed the question, filling the kitchen with a feeling bright enough to match the early morning light tumbling through the window. Dan and Phil, both sporting bed hair and loose pyjamas, sat beside each other on a pair of bar stools with two bowls of Crunchy Nut to match. The house was still and placid save for their banter and occasionally a car grumbling down the street outside; nothing could penetrate the easy contentment between them.

"What?" Phil laughed, throwing his hands up in defense once he saw the expression on Dan's face. "It's a genuine question. I don't know what angels are like."

Dan's mirth subsided to a giggle and he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "Okay, for the last time, I was a guardian angel, not an angel. Which means I wore the clothes I died in and whatever showed up in my wardrobe in the apartment. But I've never seen real angels, so maybe they do wear robes. Who knows?"

"Hang on...your clothes just showed up in your wardrobe?" Phil sent him an incredulous look, a spoonful of those honeyed flakes hovering halfway between the bowl and his mouth. "You didn't have to buy them or anything?"

"For a month, yeah," Dan replied, smiling as he realized such how amazing that would sound to anyone else.

"You had bloody everything didn't you? And all for free," Phil said, shaking his head and shoving the spoon into his mouth. "And who was it that gave you all of it? The, uh..."

"The Keeper," Dan supplied. For a moment he paused and wondered whether the guy or creature or whatever he was, was observing them right now. Probably not. As he said before, he would have other matters to attend to.

Meanwhile, Phil had rambled off on his own tangent, mumbling mostly to himself. "...still don't understand it. Because you said that Purgatory place exists between heaven and hell, but where is it exactly? In another dimension? And how has the Keeper guy always been there? I wonder what he looks like–"

"Phil." Dan knocked his ankle softly against his boyfriend's to get his attention. Phil stopped his flow of words and looked up. "Try not to think about it too hard. You'll never have to go there, anyway."

The dark-haired boy scoffed playfully and rolled his eyes. "You don't know that. Maybe one day I'll steal a kid's favourite toy or something."

"That is pretty condemnable."

The more they continued to talk, the less there seemed to be any divide between them. It was a relief for Dan, really, to joke with Phil, smile fondly at him and flirt knowing he had nothing to hide. He could simply exist as Phil's boyfriend now with a mostly clear conscience. The only thing still on his mind was everything he'd done in his past – things Phil had seemed to steer clear of when he asked questions. Dan was thankful for it.

In fact, Phil seemed to steer clear of most topics. Half the time he sat at the bench in silence with a puzzled look engraved into his face, which was more amusing than concerning. Dan chuckled every time and tried to snap him from his stupor, knowing full well Phil was trying to comprehend it all on his own.

By 10am, their cereal bowls had long since been empty and yet they still continued to talk. Eventually Phil stood to wash them out and leave them in the sink, while Dan folded his arms on the bench and rested forward in them. He liked this. The peace, the comfortability, spending time with Phil. Sharing a silence which wasn't the least bit awkward. As he watched Phil quickly stack a few things in the dishwasher, Dan allowed himself to imagine a future with him. Maybe they could live together like this one day, in their own house, sharing rooms and meals and beds. He certainly wasn't against it, but he wondered whether it was what Phil wanted as well.

"...Dan? You listening?"

Phil's voice broke him from his wandering mind; Dan blinked himself back into reality and glanced up. "Uh...yes, sorry."

Phil chuckled warmly. "I just wanted to take another look at your back, see how it's healing up."

"Oh yeah. Hang on." Dan grabbed his collar and shrugged off his shirt, surprised at how little the movement hurt his back. In fact, now that he thought of it, he realized it hadn't bothered him at all since he woke up. For now he cast the thought aside and sat patiently as Phil started unravelling the bandage. "By the way, does your mum know I'm here?" he asked.

"Yeah, I texted her last night," Phil replied, swinging his arm round Dan's head. "She said she would be home right about now, actually. And you're fine being here of course, as long as Stephen isn't around – oh my god."

"What? What's wrong?" Dan spun in his chair, immediately concerned, but Phil only kept his eyes on his back. He followed his gaze. "Phil?"

For at least a minute the pale-skinned boy stared long and hard at Dan's back, before he eventually muttered in disbelief, "They're gone." He hesitated before elaborating, "Your gashes are almost completely healed. I don't get it. They look like scars now."

"Wait, lemme see. Take a photo of them."

Phil whipped his phone out of his back pocket and snapped a photo, instantly passing the device to Dan who frowned at it. What he saw was his previously ravaged back, the tears now nothing but raised lumps of skin. Astonishingly, they'd scarred over in a night, when he expected that to occur in at least a month. If doctors knew about this, they would probably call it a miracle, especially if they saw the state of his back. Dan let out a baffled breath, shutting the phone off and handing it back to Phil. "I guess the afterlife wanted me to blend back into society pretty quickly," he suggested weakly.

"Makes sense, I guess. You couldn't have a human walking around with wing holes in his back for too long." Phil wound the gauze around his hand to bunch it up, leaving it on the bench before taking a seat. Dan pulled his shirt back on. "It's a bonus though, right?" Phil asked.

Dan laughed softly. "Well, yeah. I just didn't realise I'd deserved any bonuses."

With a light roll of his eyes, Phil opened his mouth to protest but stopped short as they both heard the front door swing open. Dan's heart tripped when he remembered Stephen was yet to return from wherever he'd been, but the sound of Mrs Lester's voice calmed him. Phil visibly relaxed as well.

"Boys? You home?"

"Yeah, Mum, we're here!"

Footsteps could be heard padding through the hall before Phil's mum rounded the corner, fear present in the creases on her forehead and the frown on her lips. She had bags of shadow weighing down her eyes and her face was bare, but her hair seemed freshly washed as it hung back in a ponytail. Clean clothes clung to her small frame, a plastic bag in one hand. She was brighter than Dan had ever seen her before, but her expression carried a dark look. Something was wrong. "Stephen's on his way," she said gravely as soon as she saw the boys. "He called me earlier. He'll be here in only 5 minutes, so you have to leave now, Dan. He was drunk as a sailor when I spoke to him; god knows what he'll assume if he sees you."

Dan's eyes darted over to look at Phil, who mirrored his sudden worried expression. Heartrate increasing, Dan knew he had to get out of there, as much as he hated to leave Phil and his mother alone with that unspeakable man.

"Quickly change into some clothes upstairs," Phil said in a hushed tone. "You can get out through the back door."

"But I can't just–"

"Phil's right, Dan," Mrs Lester interrupted. "Stephen won't see you that way. You need to go, now."

One leg bobbing up and down rapidly, Dan made a decision, slipped off the stool and hurried over to the staircase, Phil in his wake. It only took him several moments to throw on his jeans from last night and one of Phil's jumpers, as his own was still ruined. He slipped his phone safely into a back pocket, and Phil hastily changed into some clothes as well, telling him they'd hold onto his jumper for now. Dan nodded, biting into his bottom lip before pulling Phil into a firm hug. He wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face into Phil's shoulder, feeling the boy return the embrace just as tightly. For too short a moment he relished in the warmth of Phil's closeness and prayed to God to keep him safe.

"I love you. Call me when you can," Dan murmured as he pulled away.

Phil nodded, meeting his eyes and interlacing their fingers. He squeezed once. "I'll be okay. I love you too."

"BOYS! Stephen just got out of his car. You need to go, Dan!" Mrs Lester yelled frantically up the stairs, tearing through the temporary comfort of Phil's bedroom.

Nerves darting through his veins like electric pulses, Dan grabbed Phil's cheeks and pressed a brief kiss to his lips, allowing his boyfriend to return it for a second. Then they both took off towards the stairs, skipping two at a time until they met Mrs Lester at the bottom.

"Back door's this way–" she started to whisper, reaching for Dan's arm. But the whole house seemed to freeze in place when the front door squealed open and slammed shut.

Stephen's voice was unmissable, low and cracked and slurring, trained in Dan's direction like a shotgun. "Who are you?" he snarled.

Barely breathing, Dan lifted his eyes and met Stephen's. They were hard and cold, like knives boring into his skin, splitting him open, examining his insides. Dan found his words trapped in his throat, forced down by sheer terror. This was the first the man had ever seen him, and that alone was frightening.

No one said a word, much less boyfriend. Stephen walked forward, dragging his boots along the floorboards and growing closer and closer to Dan. But surprisingly, he turned and came to a halt less than a metre away from Phil's face, letting out a trembling breath that reeked of old alcohol. Phil fought the urge to cough.

"Who is he?" Stephen asked Phil, voice lowered to a growl.

Mrs Lester stepped forward. "Stephen, just stop for a mo–"

"I'm not talking to you, woman," the drunkard snapped violently, before looking back at his son. "Tell me, Phil, who is this boy who I've come home to find is being smuggled out of the house?"

Phil's Adam's apple quivered along his throat. "He's...he's just a friend from school," he squeaked, and then gestured between the two. "Dan, m-meet my stepdad, Stephen. Stephen, meet D-Dan."

Stephen sighed heavily through his nose and turned to face Dan, who felt his stomach fall away in the worst way possible. Two steps and the man was staring daggers at Dan, their eyes almost at the same height. "Is this true, Dan? Has my useless faggot son finally found someone to talk to?" he questioned, the beginnings of a menacing smirk present on his face. "Or is it out of pity? I doubt that fag has anyone who really cares about him."

"Don't talk about him like that," Dan spat, flames flickering to life in his stomach at the words Stephen used. He could feel Phil's desperate gaze telling him to quit it, but he told himself that if Stephen used one more slur he wouldn't hesitate to use violence.

"I'm surprised. You do care about him. But by how much, exactly? Surely a faggot doesn't deserve any care, unless you're just like him," Stephen said smugly.

Dan drew a shaky breath, red creeping into his vision. "I care enough to want to protect him from you," he snapped, before drawing back his fist and letting it fly into Stephen's jaw.

And everything was thrown into chaos. Shouting erupted through the hall as Stephen collapsed onto his back with a painful thud, curses and insults flying from his mouth in rapid fire. He struggled to gain purchase on the ground as Dan appeared above him, one hand on his chest to pin him down. Adrenalin surged through Dan and blood pumped loudly in his ears as he grew deaf to the cries from Phil and his mother, yelling at the two of them, begging them to stop. All he could see was the suffering this man had caused Phil as his fists landed on Stephen's cheeks, nose, jaw and temple. There were desperate hands pulling at his shirt and shoulders, but he barely noticed. "Don't. You. Dare. Fucking. Touch. My. Boyfriend. Again!" he thundered, landing a punch after every word.

Suddenly there was a heavy shove against his right side and Dan sprawled on the ground, away from Stephen. He squeezed his eyes shut and dragged in frantic breaths, hair dishevelled and hands trembling. His heart was pounding away against his chest like a drum, and he slowly lifted his hands to his face, cracking open his eyes. Blood had splattered over his fingers and crawled into the crevices of his nails. And it didn't belong to him.

Then there was a familiar voice in his ear, asking something of him. "...Dan? Dan, can you hear me? You need to breathe, love. Are you alright?"

Dan blinked once, and he was thrust back into the present, staring up into a comforting pair of blue eyes. Phil was crouched beside him, hands on his arms and face, checking if he was hurt. In that moment, the reality of the situation slammed into Dan like a tonne of bricks. He had just beaten his boyfriend's stepdad – up until whatever point, he didn't know. He released something between a gasp and a sob and leaned into Phil, his whole body beginning to shake. "I'm s-sorry, I didn't...I just...I'm sorry, I – I...sorry–"

"No, no, shhh, it's okay. Don't say sorry. You're alright," Phil whispered, combing back his hair and staring into his eyes. "Just breathe. In and out, that's right."

Dan focused on Phil's gaze, filling his lungs and exhaling slowly. He could feel his heartrate normalizing. He was going to be okay.

"You did good, Dan. That bitch had it coming to him anyway," Phil chuckled softly, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Shaky laughter bubbled from his stomach and Dan buried his face into Phil's shoulder, sniffling. He caught a whiff of the boy's calming scent, and it helped him to relax. "I just couldn't keep letting him treat you like shit," he said.

Phil gave him a small squeeze and left another kiss in his hair, and that said enough.

Meanwhile, Mrs Lester had helped an absolutely wrecked and wobbly Stephen to his feet. His nose was streaming blood, which had already stained his shirt, and his face was starting to bloom with the sickening colours of black, blue and green. Bulging eyelids, torn lips and red made his face almost unrecognisable, and even more grotesque than he had already been. Mrs Lester began dabbing at the blood with tissues she acquired from thin air, holding Stephen steady as he visibly fumed, eyes trained on the two boys cuddling on the floor.

Dan could feel his livid gaze, and dreaded what might happen. But then Phil shifted above him, standing completely, and Dan grew fearful. "Phil, wait–" he started once he saw the boy set his eyes on his stepdad. But Phil took no notice.

"I was right all along," Stephen spat as Phil approached him, red spittle flying from his lips. "My son is a disgusting fag, made of sin."

Phil took a deep breath. "I don't care what you call me," he replied lowly, baring down upon the man. "But you don't deserve to call yourself a father. Nor a husband. You have terrorized this family for years, and if you don't leave after this, I swear to god you will regret it. But you listen now. I love boys, and I'm proud of that. You can call me names, look at me and think of me in any way you like but it will not change my identity. I decide who I am, not you or anyone else. And Dan is not only my friend, but my boyfriend, and you cannot change that either. From now on, you will stay away from us. All of us. Or I will make sure you're sent to prison for everything you've done."

By now Dan had gotten to his feet, and slipped his hand into Phil's. He cast Phil a comforting smile when the boy glanced over his shoulder.

"Do you understand me?" Phil then continued, returning his gaze to Stephen.

The pathetic man before them breathed heavily, glaring at the both of them through slits for eyes. And without warning he lunged forward, arms outstretched, fingers claw-like, and lips pulled back into a terrifying snarl. He reached out for Phil, hands aimed at his neck, but Dan was already there. He swiftly pulled his boyfriend away, throwing one arm across his torso to protect him as Mrs Lester clutched Stephen's shirt and hauled him back.

"Run," the woman cried, her husband already slipping from her grasp. "Both of you, run away. Get out of here, NOW!"

They didn't need to hear it twice. Dan and Phil clutched hands and sprinted towards the front door, yanking it open just as Stephen escaped Mrs Lester's hold. Together they ran blindly from the house and into the morning, hearts hammering and blood pumping in sync with one another. Together, they stretched the distance between them and Stephen's rage. Together, they escaped.

*

The wind was biting that day, crawling between layers of clothing and gnashing its teeth. It shook the trees, buffeted coats and turned pale cheeks pink. People hurried past with grim faces, struggling against the gusts of winter with their hands tucked into pockets or armpits to preserve warmth. But Dan didn't need to do that. He had Phil.

They sat in the shelter of a bus stop, huddled into each other with fingers intertwined. Warmth was shared between them, replenished with kisses pressed to hands and cheeks every so often. Dan had his head buried into the crook of Phil's neck, and Phil's arm sat snuggly around Dan's waist, and they were safe.

By now, they'd lost Stephen to the streets of their poky little town, finally sure that they would never see him again. Even so, both of them were ready to contact police if he showed up. Mrs Lester eventually called, saying she had alerted the police and was going to take her and Daisy to a friend's house for a while, until things settled. They were safe as well. With that thought in mind, Dan's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and he allowed himself a minute of rest. Which slowly turned into two minutes, and then three, until he had dozed off on Phil's shoulder – with a little help from Phil himself rubbing soothing circles onto his waist. He awoke ten minutes later to tender whisperings from the dark-haired boy.

"Dan, wake up. The bus is here now, we need to go," Phil murmured, fondly brushing back Dan's fringe.

Dan grunted and shifted upwards, dazedly rubbing his eyes. He looked ahead to see said vehicle thrumming noisily in front them, a bored-looking driver sitting inside. Soon enough the boys were clambering up the steps, Phil paying the bus driver with the money he had on him and mumbling an address – Dodie's address. They'd agreed to crash at the florist's place for the time being until things settled down, and Phil had called her so she knew what to expect.

A few seats at the back were empty when they boarded, and Dan flopped down into the patterned cushioning with Phil following suit. The hiss of the door was all that could be heard as the bus shifted and rolled off down the street, and Dan let out a breath of relief. They were safe.

"You okay?" a voice beside him asked.

Dan turned and smiled softly at Phil, scooting closer until their arms were pressed together. Staring into those always-captivating blue eyes, he thought of everything. Months ago, when tears streamed down his cheeks as he drove blindly through the rain. Feeling lost and terrified in Purgatory as the Keeper explained his destiny. Being thrust into an entirely new life, going to school again and finding himself within a toxic friendship. Meeting better people, falling in love with Phil and feeling happier than he'd ever been in years. He thought of the lies he'd told and truths he'd manipulated. He thought of the horrible fight he'd had with Phil, simply because he'd wanted to protect him. And finally, he thought of breaking the bond between angel and human just to be with him.

Dan had learnt a lot during his rollercoaster of a journey, that's easy to say. He'd struggled through a hell of a lot of guilt, stress and conflict to get where he was now. But it was worth it. It was all worth it, because now he stared into the eyes of a fascinating boy he'd grown to know and love with all he was made of. And nothing was stopping him from loving that boy for as long as he lived, for the second time.

So he replied sincerely, "Yeah, I'm more than okay," and interlaced their fingers.

Phil's face lit up with a gentle grin at those words, and Dan closed the distance between them. Their lips met softly, slowly, as if they were sharing their first kiss. And it was, in a way. The first kiss of many that signified the beginning of their future. And whatever that future may be, good or bad, they knew they'd face it together.

Then their lips separated for a moment, and Phil searched Dan's face before murmuring, "I hate you, you know?"

Dan giggled softly and looked up into Phil's twinkling eyes. "I hate you too."

[georgiabread]

falling for you ; phan | chapter thirty six

Full summary ; Dan Howell is dead. Well, sort of. He’s a guardian angel, forced to protect only one human, and that human is Cat. But when he accompanies Cat to school, he can’t help but be intrigued by the broken boy with the black hair who sits by the window in class and disappears at lunch times. Dan realises this boy needs more protection than Cat will ever need, so he takes on human form to save him. But soon he finds himself falling in love, which is something he definitely can’t do. Dan Howell is an angel, and he’s falling for Phil.

Tags ; highschool!phan, teenage!phan, plantboy!phil, spaceboy!dan, angel!dan, phan, phan au, phan fluff, phan angst, chaptered

TWs ; bullying, violence, mentions of self-harm, mentions of death/suicide, depression, panic attacks, physical and verbal abuse, homophobia, foul language and supernatural themes.

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“June Haverly, you're not to blame, no not to blame. And June Haverly, don't be ashamed, for all the pain—”

dan ;

“Nearly five months ago, I died in a car accident.”

Those ten words hung in the air like a bird hovering on the wind. Dan’s heart thudded loudly against his rib cage. He held his breath, knowing if he tried to inhale his breath would catch and he’d fall to pieces. Phil sat up abruptly, yanking his arms away from Dan’s waist as if he had the plague.

“What are you talking about?” Phil whispered in shock.

They were sat beside each other in dining chairs, but there were miles between them. Dan was desperate to take a step forward and shorten the distance, but he was afraid Phil would only take a step back. Just like he’d done in the alleyway hours ago. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in through his nose. He had to select his words carefully, calmly – he didn’t want Phil diving out of the window in terror.

Dan opened his eyes and met Phil’s. “I’m talking about the headline you saw,” he said slowly. “In the newspaper. Saying that I’d died?”

Phil looked away, eyes fluttering over the room, the table, his hands…Dan could tell he didn’t want to believe it. “But…that couldn’t possibly be y-you? There would be other Dan Howells–”

“This one is me,” Dan interrupted, teeth grazing over his lower lip.

“But you’re here!” Phil cried, turning to look at him, aghast. “Right in front of me. You’re breathing, and…you’re alive.” Suddenly his eyes darkened, shadows falling across the blue. “Wait. This isn’t…some kind of prank, right? Cause I swear to god, Dan, this isn’t fucking funny.”

“No, no, it’s not a prank. Trust me, Phil. I wouldn’t joke or lie about this.” Dan took Phil’s hands and held tightly, trying not to react when the boy attempted to pull away. “Listen. Right now, I am very much alive and…not dead. But…”

“But what?” Phil muttered.

Overcome by the sudden urge to throw up, Dan swallowed heavily and let go of Phil’s hands. He curled them in his lap. He sucked in another breath. He steeled himself for what was soon to come. “Phil…” Dan began, and then lifted his eyes. “Okay. I’m going to explain everything, and it’s gonna be so hard to take in. But you have to believe me because I’m going to tell you the truth – all of it. And…try not to ask questions until the end?” That last sentence sounded like a question itself.

Phil hesitated, uncertain. “Alright…” he replied eventually.

Nerves twanged through Dan’s arms, legs, everywhere. He felt wired, ready to explode. This was it. Finally, Phil would understand. Phil would know. Dan studied the wall to the left of Phil, wondering where he would start. From the beginning, he decided quickly.

“So…around five months ago, my parents kicked me out of the house,” he said, forcing the words from his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut to avoid Phil’s reaction. “Because…because I’d bullied a kid so much he – he committed suicide. I’d killed him. He was younger than me, and I was…unforgiveable. So then I hopped in my car and I think I was crying and I wasn’t really focused on the road, and then…a car hit me. In the side. I ended up in a ditch and…and that was it. I died there.

“After that, I experienced a version of the afterlife, I guess. Because I’d technically killed that boy, I ended up in a place called Purgatory where I was given a choice – go to hell for what I’d done, or earn my way to heaven by becoming a guardian angel.” Dan’s heart pounded as he noticed Phil’s eyes widening, clearly remembering his wings. The boy had also grown paler than he usually was, and unnaturally quiet. Dan felt himself regretting his explanation.

“Obviously I chose the guardian angel side because who wants to go to hell? I was assigned one human to look after until I was deemed ready to go to heaven, and that human was Cat.” He paused, trying to gauge Phil’s reaction, but his stunned expression hadn’t changed in the slightest. Dan sighed and continued. “I guarded Cat for a while, my mission being that I had to get her away from Finn and that lot. I was invisible the whole time. But then…I found you.”

Dan paused. Phil averted his gaze.

“Phil, I – I saw what those guys were doing to you, and I just couldn’t stand by and watch because, frankly, you seemed like you needed my protection more. And so I started watching out for you, and even took on human form most of the time. I was given an apartment and enrolled in the school and did everything just to get to know you and potentially save you from everything that gave you hell.” It only gave you hell, though. The thought slipped into his mind on its own accord, and Dan shook it out. “But, the thing is, I was only allowed to be one person’s guardian angel. There was a bond between me and Cat, and I could break it by switching my protection to someone else…”

Dan grew quiet, memories of the fight in the alley and the feeling of his wings tearing through his back flooding his mind. He stared into his lap, gulping against the slowly-forming lump in his throat. “In the alleyway, when I somehow pushed everyone away through the air and – and you saw my wings come through my back…”

“You broke the bond,” Phil whispered.

At the sound of his voice, Dan’s head shot up and he found Phil staring at the floor. He hesitated. Was Phil…somehow understanding all this? Why wasn’t he running away? Calling Dan a freak? Refusing to believe any words that left his mouth?

“Y-yeah,” Dan responded breathlessly, helplessly. “That meant I failed my mission or whatever. As punishment, I was forced to become human again and live the rest of my life before dying naturally and going straight to hell. And here I am.”

A raw stillness overwhelmed the entire house. Dan dared not to move or even breathe, waiting for Phil’s inevitable reaction to it all. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he was in that boy’s position. Run, maybe. He didn’t want to think about it.

Suddenly Phil dragged in a breath and let it out shakily as he glanced around the room. Dan could almost hear his mind whirring, the cogs and gears grinding together, the puzzle pieces slotting awkwardly into place. And then Dan began to wonder, where would they go from here? Would Phil still want to be with him? He doubted it heavily, not after putting him through so much trauma…just like the boy he bullied…

But no. This was different. He hadn’t bullied Phil. And yet, it was him who had driven Phil to want to overdose. Right?

“How did you get the apartment?” Phil blurted suddenly, fingers in fists on his knees. He stared determinately at them, before looking up into Dan’s eyes. “I’m assuming you were left with nothing, so how’d you set up a life for yourself?”

Dan took note of the anger bubbling behind Phil’s words. It set him on edge. Phil wasn’t ready to believe yet. Why else would he be asking this? Dan responded calmly, “I had help from the…person who controlled Purgatory. He set up an apartment for me and did everything.”

Phil shook his head in disbelief. “I slept in your bed in that apartment and I had no idea…” he murmured. “And you…you’ve been an angel this entire time? At least, before you broke the link or whatever?”

Dan nodded solemnly. “The bond. Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“You’re sorry you didn’t–? Dan…” The dark-haired boy bit his lip. “Goddammit, it doesn’t even matter. I – I fucking dated you not ever thinking you might be something other than human.” He shoved the chair backwards and stood up, looming over Dan. “You’ve lied to me this whole time. Why did you – why did you even notice me in the first place? You’re going to hell now, so why didn’t you just stay with Cat? I didn’t even…d-deserve your fucking protection. I don’t…” Phil sniffled, hurriedly blinking away the moisture in his eyes and cutting his words short when they cracked.

Immediately Dan stood and moved forward, wanting to pull Phil into his arms, always hating when his voice choked up. But Phil slapped his outstretched hand away and stepped backwards. Everything about his body language made it obvious he was scared.

“I don’t believe you, Dan,” he spluttered. “None of that is possible. You’re – you’re just fucking with me. Angels don’t exist. They don’t exist, they can’t exist, I don’t believe you…”

“Phil.” Dan’s stern voice shut the dark-haired boy up. “It is possible. People wonder what comes after death. Well, it’s this. If you’re good, you go to heaven. If you’ve done something horrible, you go to Purgatory, and from there you choose what happens next. I know what it’s like, Phil. I was the one who experienced it.”

Phil stared at him then, shoulders drooping a little. There was a silence, where they stood facing each other, unsure whether to move or speak. Dan waited for Phil’s reaction. Phil took a few slow breaths and glanced down. “So – so you really died,” he murmured, lips barely moving.

“Yeah,” Dan nodded. “I, um, was sort of…crushed to death by my car.”

Phil’s eyes widened in horror. “Dan…” he breathed, seemingly forgetting everything for a moment as he closed the space between them. He searched Dan’s grave face before wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his neck.

Sadness clung to Dan’s heart as he returned the hug, sighing softly into Phil’s hair and holding him close. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m okay. I’m alive now.”

“That’s so strange to hear,” Phil replied, his voice low and subdued by Dan’s skin.

Dan allowed the corner of his lips to perk up a little. “I know, I know it’s weird. But it’s alright. It was a while ago, now.”

“You still…you still died, though,” Phil said hopelessly. “And I never knew…and you had wings…and you were dead this whole time–”

“Phil, Phil, stop. It’s okay.” Dan pulled away and rested his hands on Phil’s arms, thumbs brushing over the skin. Brown eyes poured into blue. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I – I lied to you and got you into such a big mess and you never deserved any of it. And I’m so, so fucking sorry. I should never have spoken to you in the first place.”

Phil’s face fell. “So…so you regret being with me?” he asked, hurt written all over his features. “Wait, d-did you even…love me?”

“Oh my god, yes, of course I did. I still do,” Dan rushed to tell him. “That’s why I waited so long to explain everything, because I love you and I was terrified of l-losing you. And I don’t regret being with you, I regret being me. Everything was fucked for me the moment I saw you for the first time, but it wasn’t your fault – it was mine. Maybe…maybe if I’d been alive this whole time, we’d be fine.”

Silence drifted over them again. Phil glanced down, eyebrows furrowing as he lost himself in thought. Dan had just decided to move away when Phil looked up into his eyes and said, “We’re still fine.”

Dan hesitated. “Are we?”

“…Dan, I trust you,” Phil said after chewing his lip for a moment. “I mean, it’d be hard not to, seeing you with actual wings and everything. And I still love you too, I always have. So yes, I think we’re fine.”

The weight of the world tumbled off Dan’s shoulders as he let out a heavy sigh in relief, and the back of his nose prickled. But if he started crying, it wouldn’t be out of misery. Instead, he released a choked laugh and held Phil’s cheeks in his hands. “Can I kiss you?” he blurted past a little lump in his throat, sniffling.

A wide smile broke out across Phil’s face and he laughed softly back. “Why do you even need my permission for that?”

And with those words, Dan dived forward and connected their lips for the first time in what felt like months. His stomach flipped as Phil’s hands slipped around his waist and he pushed forward, both their lips fighting for dominance. Then Dan’s fingers trailed round to hold the nape of Phil’s neck and he let himself melt into the kiss, surrounding himself in the warmth and scent of cinnamon that he’d missed for so long.

When Phil dragged his lips away, something within Dan deflated and he rested his forehead on his best friend’s for a moment, breathing heavily.

“…Dan?” Phil murmured after a minute of them simply absorbing each other’s presence. His fingers drew patterns over the small of Dan’s back.

“Mm?” Dan’s eyes cracked open.

“I’m sorry to spoil the moment, but…there’s just one more thing. That night at the party. I just want to say I’m sorry for getting angry at you. You were confused and–”

“Phil, oh my god, please stop,” Dan insisted, cutting him off with a hand over Phil’s mouth, realising what he was talking about. “I’m the one who needs to say sorry. I acted like the biggest fucking asshole that night, and attacking you was the worst I could’ve done. I should’ve been there for you, made sure Finn hadn’t hurt you. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you, i-it was the last thing you deserved. I’m s-sorry.”

There was a sting behind Dan’s eyes as he remembered the acerbic words he’d hurled at Phil at the party without a second thought, forcing the blame onto the boy who had never been at fault. What kind of boyfriend was he, to beat down his lover straight after he’d been sexually assaulted? Dan had mulled over that night for more than a week, but only now did the guilt finally set in, flooding his mind and dripping from his heart. Never before had he wanted more to turn back time than in this moment, and make everything right again.

Dan cast his eyes to the ground as tears began to flood his vision. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he uttered in the softest tone.

Two fingers rested under his chin and lifted his head as one stray tear slipped out. Dan met Phil’s eyes as the dark-haired boy collected it with his thumb. “I know,” he whispered.

Phil searched the caramel of Dan’s eyes for a moment before connecting their lips again. It was softer this time; Dan wanted to melt into a puddle from the way Phil held his face. His touches were delicate and bloomed warmth across his cheeks. Dan splayed his fingers over Phil’s chest to hold himself steady. And suddenly, heart hammering away against his ribcage, he believed – no, he knew – they were going to be okay.

They were fine. And this time, it wasn’t a lie.

*

There was a crack between the curtains. A sliver of moonlight, fuzzy round the edges, tip-toed through the window and onto the carpet. Dan had lost track of the time he’d spent staring at it. Occasionally he pondered getting out of bed and drawing the curtains completely shut, but Phil’s duvet was far too cosy and the slice of light offered some comfort in the otherwise pitch-black bedroom.

Dan’s chest rose and fell cautiously, his breathing hushed. The night was too placid to disturb, even with the slightest noise or movement. He could barely hear Phil either; the boy had rolled over with his back facing Dan, quieting his breath. And for once, Dan’s mind had fallen still.

A night like this would usually let thoughts and fears fester in his brain. The quiet would be replaced with white noise in his ears, the spacious dark would make room for figments of his imagination. But not now, not tonight. Dan blew out a soft sigh, feeling the air buffet his fringe a little. He gathered the duvet further up his chest and tried to figure out just why he felt nothing but still and serene. Then he lifted a hand to rub his eyes and caught sight of his wrist. His bare wrist.

The tattoo of the black heart had disappeared.

Dan closed his eyes, a gentle smile creeping onto his lips. He was breathing. He was alive.

“I’m alive,” he whispered to the shadows. They were suddenly comforting, for whatever reason. Maybe it was because he was Dan, and Dan thought about things like that.

The smile didn’t leave his lips as he rolled over under the sheets, turning to face Phil. In fact, his smile only grew wider. All he could see was the boy’s shoulder blades peeking out from the blue and green checkers, but he didn’t mind. He loved those shoulder blades. He also loved those creases in the back of Phil’s neck, and the little black fuzz of hair lying just above. He loved Phil in general. And he couldn’t believe how willing Phil had been to accept his story.

Most would probably assume he was lying, or maybe they’d call the police or simply run off. But not Phil. No, Phil had stayed and listened and…trusted. Trusted his story, trusted Dan. Phil probably blamed himself for everything, knowing him. The realisation made a frown tug at Dan’s lips instead, because of course it wasn’t Phil’s fault and it never had been. Dan stared at the boy’s back, wanting to shuffle closer and hold him against his chest, press kisses to his neck and tell him over and over that he’d never done anything wrong.

For once Dan decided not to weigh up the pros and cons and just acted on his thoughts, doing everything but the latter. He curled his arms around Phil’s waist and buried his face into his hair, planting one or two kisses there, hoping he wouldn’t wake up.

But then Phil leant into his touch and said, voice slurred from sleep, “Dan? You ‘wake?”

Dammit, Dan thought. So much for keeping him asleep. He found Phil’s fingers under the sheets and squeezed them gently. “Mm, yeah,” he whispered.

Several heartbeats passed before Phil grunted a little and rolled over in Dan’s arms, head flopping onto the pillow as he blinked blearily up into Dan’s eyes. Dan stared back, butterflies stirring in his stomach just from the look Phil gave him.

“How long have you been awake?” Phil murmured. He reached to brush a few wispy curls out of Dan’s eyes.

“I…never got to sleep,” Dan replied, trying not to show on his face just how much that simple touch affected him.

A pout appeared on Phil’s face. “Everything okay?”

Dan thought for a moment before he smiled and left a lingering kiss on Phil’s forehead. “Yeah, it is,” he said sincerely. “Sorry for waking you up.”

Phil stared at him a little, and then said, “I don’t mind. It only means I get to cuddle with you…” His words trailed off into an inaudible mumble as he curled into Dan’s chest, closing his eyes.

“You’re a nerd,” Dan sighed, fondness clearly present in his voice as he pulled the boy closer. He started drawing feather-light patterns on Phil’s back as he stared at the wardrobe opposite. Or at least, the blurry shape of it. But his mind wasn’t focused on it – rather, the rise and fall of Phil’s chest against his own, and the mellow thud of his heart. It seemed months since they’d laid like this.

Just when Dan thought Phil had fallen asleep again, he heard the dark-haired boy pipe up from his pyjama shirt.

“Dan…can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?” Dan pulled away a little as Phil shuffled back, until he could see the boy’s blue eyes, churning like the sea.

Phil sighed through his nose, tracing his finger quietly around the sheets beneath him, and murmured, “Why did you choose me?”

“What?”

“I mean, when you were an – an angel. Why did you choose to protect me when it was only going to send you to hell?”

He met Dan’s eyes then, and Dan was slightly taken aback by the gravity of the question. Taking time to think, he averted his eyes to the ceiling and licked his dry lips. And suddenly he knew how to answer.

“Do you…remember, a few months ago now, when you’d just been beaten up and you were in the boy’s bathroom at school, crying?” Dan asked in a small voice, nervous to bring this up but looking back at Phil nonetheless.

Phil only stared back, speechless, as he nodded hesitantly.

“Okay, and do you remember feeling a little…spark on your shoulder, at one point? Like someone had just touched you, but no one was there?”

Phil seemed frozen on the spot. Silence dragged on between them. And then he breathed, “…That was you?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded. Relief surged through him like a tidal wave. “That was me. I was in the bathroom, invisible, when you came in, and…and you were bleeding and crying and you had bruises and…it was the first time I’d ever seen you. You reminded me of the – the boy I used to, you know, bully. But it was different ‘cause for once I saw it from the victim’s perspective and I saw how much someone had hurt you and I saw how much it affected you emotionally. I mean, you were just a lovely guy who probably hadn’t done anything wrong, and yet you were being punished for it…”

Dan paused for a moment, sucking in a small breath and thinking of how he could continue. By now Phil was listening quietly and drawing his fingers up and down his bare arm. It was calming.

“I guess you unknowingly showed me how wrong it was to treat someone the way you’d been treated. You were there, sobbing into a sink, and I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. I wanted to help you so, so much. That was why I reached out to you – I forgot who I was for a minute and touched your shoulder and we both felt that spark. Still not really sure what it means,” – Dan chuckled weakly – “but after that, I unconsciously made the decision to protect you instead. Because you deserved needed it so much more…And you were also pretty attractive.”

“Great, you just destroyed the mood,” Phil muttered with a roll of his eyes. He retracted his hand from Dan’s arm but scooted closer again. “Although, thank you for telling me that. It was just kind of hard for me to believe that you would risk – that you have risked hell to be there for me.”

Something crumbled from Dan’s heart and he brushed his fingers soothingly through Phil’s hair. “Listen, we don’t even need to worry about that. It’s decades away, probably. And if I’m honest, I don’t give a shit about going to hell. This life I’m living now will be worth it, and hell’s just gonna be a massive party that’s literally on fire.”

“Ugh, get out of my house,” Phil mumbled, but the arms looping around Dan’s chest said otherwise. Then he murmured into the soft fabric of Dan’s pyjama shirt, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Dan didn’t hesitate on the words, leaving a few kisses on Phil’s forehead before completely cuddling into him. Because he did love Phil, to hell and back. And no amount of fear about that place would ever stop him.