#i’m absolutely not seeking validation

[cozwalt]

Yk I need more people to understand that you can dislike a media or fandom, hate it even, and still just not rip into other people for enjoying it. Nothing about doing that is productive. You piss yourself off, you piss them off, now everyone’s drained, and if you did have a reasonable valid point for not liking the media, no one’s hearing you out after a display of assholery.

[luvmanifesting]

REASSURANCE post

feel like you failed 2024? because you wasted all your time scrolling instead of applying? well i’m gonna be straightforward with you in this post even thought its meant to help you feel better. in 2025 what YOU are going to stop doing is stop constantly looking for answers and you are going to start applying with what the information you have already and use that to manifest everything you want. idc if you have to robotically affirm or chant to whoever you believe in TAKE action already! no more crying, no more saying “ugh idm ill just shift anyway” no more procrastinating NO MORE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS. the only reason majority of you guys manifested NOTHING this year was:

you kept procrastinating

you were definitely being lazy

yes you were constantly reacting to the 3D

you seek validation from the 3D

you have a victim mindset

gross..!!! you are NOT entering 2025 like that! if its new years eve for you then you still have a chance to make things right for yourself, you absolutely can induce pure consciousness before the clock hits 12:00 YES YOU CAN YES YOU CAN. BUTT back to the main point of this post. REASSURANCE

you are okay, you are not a failure and no 2025 will not fail you, dust yourself off and wipe your tears you are not the only one struggling i promise. there are tons of people in this community with the lack of understanding and desperately needing answers like you but now its time to rid of that victimization mentality. you are GOD and if you don’t like that term then you are the CREATOR. remember please remember the 3D is dead, the 4D is the true reality. you were born with the most powerful gifts ever; IMAGINATION, AFFIRMATIONS. use your gifts to your advantage, you are not unlucky, you are not unworthy. acknowledge what you are not bringing in 2025 and let go of everything holding you back. yes you can manifest with terrible circumstances, yes you can induce pure consciousness at any time anywhere. QUIT looking at success stories for motivation. it brings jealousy and doubts. and why are you dependent on motivation?? its called discipline.

bring your 2025 shit you never thought you can ever have, do it for your name, do it for yourself, do it for the experiences you wish to have, do it for fun, do it stressed out, do it when you’re bored. MANIFESTING IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. if it feels like a chore then you’re doing it wrong, if you have to force yourself to affirm you’re doing it wrong.

LAW OF ASSUMPTION: assuming what you want to be true without the validation of the 3D (basically without proof). You affirm and then you decide you have it. Manifestation is not a process.

PURE CONSCIOUSNESS: only aware of the 4D just forget about the 3D.

hope to see plenty of success stories this year.

[makismei]

❝ ALL YOU EVER WANTED FROM ME WAS SWEET NOTHING!

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ geto x f!reader

cw: fwb to lovers, college!au suggestive content, modern! au, fluff, minor angst, MEN YEARNING, failing out of college, reader needs academic validation to live apparently

synopsis: he’ll love you, just as you are— even if you’re too soft for the world, he’ll gladly be your shield

suguru’s in love with you. it’s no secret.

as you lay on his chest, sweat slicked skin on skin, suguru wishes this pre arranged arrangement was more— he wishes you’d let him in, so he could love you more.

he tries, really. he wants to know you. anything about you.

at this point, he knows your body like the back of his hand. but your favourite colour? no idea. he would guess pink, but that’s only because you own a lot of pink tops.

you like sweets. recently, you’ve garnered a fascination for mochi donuts.

but all this information has come from his observant nature— you’ve never opened up to him, except for that one time, when you cried in his arms, seeking connection, another person’s warmth.

that was also the day you became friends with benefits.

whenever he tries to conduct a mini interview on you, you shut him out, telling him he doesn’t need to know those things.

he knows that you know he loves you.

he’s said it one too many times, when he’s most vulnerable, buried in you. but not once has he heard it back.

but it’s okay. he has a feeling that you’re starting to fall in love with him too.

you’ve started telling him about your day, as well as extremely vague plans for the next. suguru know he’s grasping at air, but he swears he can feel it in his hands.

“can we try?” he whispers, uncertain. to tell you the truth— suguru, as suave and handsome and perfect as he is, isn’t immune to insecurity. girls throw themselves at his feet, but he couldn’t care less because they’re not you.

you sit up. your warmth leaving him shatters his heart.

his room, air humid with sweat and sex, suddenly feels icy. but he gazes longingly at your back, at the scars on your elbows that probably have stories behind them— stories he craves so desperately to know.

“what’s so bad about it?” he continues, “is it me?”

“don’t ask stupid questions,” you retort. but he hears a shaky breath leave your lips, quiet cries filling the room.

he sits up, hand on your back. “look at me.”

he’s got you.

you shake your head, mindlessly bringing a finger to your lips, picking at the dead skin— a nervous tick.

“don’t do that,” suguru says, fingers cupping your jaw, gently turning your head so he can see your face. his thumb runs along your poor bottom lip, catching blood on his finger.

“i get overwhelmed easily,” you mutter, eyes glancing down in shame, “i shut people out when i feel too vulnerable and i’m mean.”

he huffs a laugh, thumb brushing against your cheekbone. “you’re protecting yourself and that’s okay.”

“i’m a shut-in, i don’t like leaving the house and i’m not romantic at all.” you continue and he nods, gaze never faltering.

“you like shoujo anime. especially the episodes with trips or big events.” he whispers, watching you pout. how cute, he thinks, like a petulant child who just wants to be noticed.

a tear streams down your cheek, wetting his thumb as he tries to wipe them away, but it’s like rainfall, so he lets you feel it out.

“i failed out of college,” you voice breaks, “the only thing i was supposed to be good at.”

you’re sobbing, head down in shame and suguru just pulls you into his arms. he rubs a hand soothingly up and down your back, heart absolutely shattering at the sounds of your cries.

“your failures don’t define you,” he mutters, “you’re still smart, capable and hard working. that doesn’t change.”

you pull away, staring him in the face and suguru thinks you’re so beautiful, so vulnerable in a way he hasn’t seen before.

“how do you know?” you sniffle, “you don’t know anything about me.”

he smiles, nodding. suguru wipes your tears, “i wonder why.”

you click your tongue, mustering a glare that holds absolutely no malice. he breathes a quiet laugh, “you’d bend over backwards for your so-called friends, even though none of them realize what you’re going through right now.”

“i don’t want them to know.” you refute.

“i bet you didn’t want me to know either,” he chastises, but it’s soft and his hands are so warm. “but i know now, because you’re important to me. i don’t want you to go through it all alone.”

you’re still glaring, but the crease between your brows have softened. “do you have a saviour complex?”

he shakes his head, “just a thing for damsels in distress, i guess.”

you pinch his arm. he takes your hand and it brings it to his lips. you feel warmth flood your body, but you don’t know if you deserve it.

“what if this ends up being the worst decision you’ll ever make?” you whisper and it’s the first time he’s heard you sound so insecure.

suguru cups your face in his hands, long black hair framing his face. his hair is so long that it tickles your skin, what would your parents say, when you bring home a guy with hair this long?

you can’t find it in you to care, because you know this guy loves you wholeheartedly. you don’t even know what you did to deserve it.

“it won’t be.” and it’s resolute, “haven’t i told you enough? that i love you?”

you nod slowly, tears finally drying.

he leans in, lips brushing against yours. “i’ll put in the work to make you believe me, to trust me.”

you laugh, “you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

you realize here and now, that out of everyone in your life so far, suguru is the only one who doesn’t ask anything of you. he just loves you and it feels unbelievable.

suguru laughs, his forehead touching yours. “i should be telling you that.”

manga panel from my love story with yamada-kun at lv999 ^.^

[zenithangelic]

Hai could I get fo4 complete reaction to the sole survivor being very big on giving praise? Like they're constantly complementing the companions but not in an overbearing way :) thank uuu

FO4 Companions reacting to the Sole Survivor's praise:

Cait

At first, she’s incredibly suspicious. Compliments? From someone who doesn’t want anything? She’s waiting for the catch.

Once she realises it’s genuine, she gets flustered and awkward, brushing off praise with a “Yeah, yeah, don’t go getting soft on me.” But she starts subtly craving it.

Eventually, she starts preening a bit when she hears it, standing a little taller. “Damn right I’m good at this,” she’ll say, with a small but proud smile.

Codsworth

Absolutely adores it. He lives to serve, and knowing Sole appreciates him fills him with robotic joy.

“Oh, you are too kind! I do try my best, of course!” He starts adding a little flourish when serving them tea, trying to impress them.

Might even get a little smug when others don’t get as much praise. “Ah, not everyone can be as meticulous as yours truly!”

Curie

Delighted and fascinated by Sole’s positivity, especially when directed at her scientific skills.

“Oh! You really think my work is amazing? That is… oh, you make me blush!” She absorbs every word like a sponge, eager to impress them further.

Over time, she starts paying the praise forward, complimenting others in the group in an adorable, awkward way: “Yes, Cait, you… hit that man so well! Such force!”

Paladin Danse

Completely unsure of how to process it at first. Praise was always tied to performance in the Brotherhood, not simple appreciation.

Starts standing up straighter, subtly shifting into parade rest every time he is praised. “That’s… good to hear, soldier.”

He may not say it, but it means something to him. Eventually, he starts seeking approval in small ways, hoping to get an extra “Outstanding work” when he pulls off something impressive.

Deacon

Smug as hell about it at first. “Oh, stop it, you charmer, you’ll make a spy blush.”

But deep down? It gets to him. Compliments aren’t something he gets often—especially not genuine ones.

He starts responding more sincerely over time, quietly muttering, “Y’know, you’re not too bad yourself.” That’s Deacon for I’m touched beyond words.

Dogmeat

Is a dog. Therefore, absolutely loves the praise and thrives on it.

Tail-wagging intensifies with every “Good boy!” until he’s practically vibrating.

Starts bringing the Sole Survivor even more random junk from the wasteland, tail wagging proudly as he receives his due recognition.

Gage

At first? Suspicious as hell. Compliments in Nuka-World usually meant someone wanted something.

Eventually, he starts accepting them at face value, though he plays it cool: “Yeah, well, I am pretty damn good at what I do.”

But if he ever hears a genuine “I trust you,” that’s it. That’s the moment he realises he’s actually loyal to them, no strings attached.

John Hancock

Drinks it up like the finest chems. “Oh, you really do know how to sweet-talk a ghoul.”

Starts playfully fishing for them. “I dunno, was that a badass move or the most badass move?”

But after a while, he stops playing—he just enjoys hearing them say nice things. It reminds him that he’s worth appreciating.

Robert MacCready

At first? Incredibly awkward. “Uh… thanks? I guess?” He’s not used to compliments that aren’t sarcastic.

Eventually, he starts mumbling a quiet “Thanks” and actually appreciating it. He never realised how much he craved validation.

If they ever tell him he’s a great dad? That’s it. He’s done. Might actually tear up.

Nick Valentine

Smirks at first, taking it in stride. “Careful, kid. A fella might start thinkin’ you like having him around.”

But deep down? It means a hell of a lot. People don’t usually appreciate him as more than an old synth detective.

Eventually, he starts throwing it right back. “Well, you’re not half bad yourself, partner.” And from him, that’s high praise.

Piper Wright

Blushes furiously at first, brushing it off. “Pfft, come on, you’re making me sound cooler than I am.”

Eventually, though? She starts believing it. Starts walking with a bit more confidence, feeling like she is as capable as they say she is.

She starts writing about them in a new way—not just as a legend, but as a genuinely good person.

Preston Garvey

Blinks the first time they compliment him, looking genuinely surprised. “You really mean that?”

He’s so used to being the one lifting everyone else up—it takes him a while to accept that someone wants to do the same for him.

Eventually, he starts smiling more. “Thanks, General. That means a lot.” And it really, really does.

Strong

Confused at first. Why is human saying nice things? What is this strange behavior?

Eventually, decides it is a human battle custom and accepts it. “YES. STRONG IS GOOD SMASHER.”

Might even start attempting his own version of praise: “HUMAN… IS GOOD TOO. NOT AS STRONG AS STRONG. BUT GOOD.”

X6-88

Is initially just... silent. He doesn’t know how to react. Compliments aren’t part of his programming.

Eventually, he just nods at them. “Noted.” But his tone softens over time.

He never outright asks for it, but if they ever stop praising him? He might just subtly start working harder for it.

Ada

Initially confused but appreciative. “That is… unexpected. Most humans do not take the time to compliment machines.”

Over time, she begins to recognise it as genuine appreciation and responds in kind. “Your leadership is commendable. I am… grateful to be part of this.”

Though she may not have emotions like a human, her tone becomes just a touch warmer when speaking to Sole, like she’s learning what it means to feel valued.

Automatron

Default programmed response: “Thank you for your feedback.”

But if they keep it up, the bot might start adapting its speech patterns. “Analysis: Positive reinforcement detected. Conclusion: You are… kind.”

If modified with a personality matrix, the bot might get cocky. “Yes, yes, I am the pinnacle of engineering excellence. Carry on, human.”

Old Longfellow

Grumbles about it at first. “Damn fool, ain't no need to butter me up. Just doin’ what I always done.”

But over time, he starts getting used to it. Starts looking forward to Sole’s words, even if he won’t admit it.

The real moment of breakthrough? When he finally mutters, “Heh. Y’ain’t so bad yourself, kid.” That’s Longfellow for I respect the hell outta you.

Porter Gage

At first? Suspicious as hell. Compliments? That ain't how the real world works. “Yeah, yeah, what angle you workin’, boss?”

But once he realises Sole is just… like that, he starts soaking it in. “Damn. Not used to hearin’ that kinda thing. Feels… nice, I guess.”

Eventually, he starts giving them a nod of approval in return. “Gotta say, boss—you got a way of makin’ folks wanna follow ya. Guess I picked the right side after all.”

♡If you liked this fic, please consider buying me a coffee! Ko-fi ♡

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I do write fanfics for validation, but the validation in question doesn’t come from hits or comments or kudos from my readers. I mean of course, those are great, and I absolutely love and appreciate everyone who reads and engages with my works. I even have screenshots of lovely comments, people have been kind enough to give me, as something to motivate myself to write whenever I start doubting myself or am going through a writer’s block. but what I’m saying here is that the validation I seek the most comes from within myself whenever I manage to finish and publish something. like I get these sense of euphoria + thrills + adrenaline rush every time I post a new work on AO3, ya know, it actually feels like I managed to achieve something. after days of writing, it’s finally here. like this work right here is my child and I’m so proud of myself for having produced it. like I did something with my life even if that something is a fanfic where I put my blorbo through hell. but I’m a proud mom and I’m so proud of me !!!!

[randomness-is-my-order]

another thing that always struck me about jiang cheng and wei wuxian’s relationship is how little jc actually seems to understand wwx and where he was coming from and this is not just an empathy problem (though that is entirely present, too) but also the lack of effort to truly open up to wei wuxian’s pov and seek it from the source himself.

this is possibly the randomest example i can give but during their chat in the burial mounds, jc comments on the situation with the food and whether crops would even grow in the burial mounds and whether people could even live there and it’s just...even if he’s not sure about wwx spending months in the burial mounds, he KNOWS wwx lived in the streets in his early childhood and nothing gives people the mentality of “survival before all else” than that but jc had either never bothered to learn about wwx’s past before he came to lotus pier in all the years he’d known him or he did know and never bothered to contexualise things so he didn’t have to wonder whether a comfortable lifestyle was truly a valid concern for wwx. here’s the passage if anyone wants to read the exact phrasing:

Jiang Cheng was incredulous. “You’re planting things on a mountain made of corpses? Will anything that grows even be edible?” “Trust me. Anything is edible when you’re hungry enough.” “Do you really plan on settling here for the long-term?” Jiang Cheng asked. “Can people even live in a hellish place like this?” “I lived here for three months before,” Wei Wuxian stated.

now, ik jc’s headspace at the time was focussed on detracting wwx’s resolve to live in the burial mounds but my point is moreso that jc actually did not comprehend who wwx was as a person in the books, ever. he literally never came close. and this isn’t even about the missing information like the golden core transplant or the true circumstances of wwx’s three months disappearance. it’s jiang cheng thinking wwx always wanted to show off, linking his actions to a hero complex, thinking wwx was needlessly arrogant, not understanding why wwx would stick his neck out for the wens. it’s the way jiang cheng rarely, if ever, gave wei wuxian any grace in his reading of his actions–always looking at wei wuxian through a lens that was inherently unfavourable and thereby, never allowed him to truly view wwx for who he is.

in contrast, wei wuxian always understood jiang cheng in a way i don’t think jc knew he did. the way he knew where jc’s cutting words originated from, the way he could read jc’s insecurities, the way he could empathise with his grief and anger, even after everything went to absolute hell between the two. i’m not claiming wei wuxian understood jiang cheng like no other or had some uniquely profound insight into his mindset but there is enough content in the books that makes it clear that wei wuxian saw jiang cheng for the person that he was and gave him more grace (than he deserved, imo) and that this understanding was not at all present in jiang cheng’s perspective of wei wuxian.

which brings me to another observation: jiang cheng may or may not have loved wei wuxian but he sure as hell never respected him. because when you respect someone (and i’d argue there is no real love without respect), you try to get to know the person, try to see their side of things, try to assemble your opinion of them after informing yourself about their life. jiang cheng, for me, never exhibited the interest to go even slightly out of his way and gain a better understanding of wwx. wei wuxian wasn’t someone he wanted to spend that kind of time on – be it because jc had internalised the social hierarchy separating them, had never liked wwx for being better than him in various fields or because he was simply not the kind of person who would be emotionally even a little generous in his relationships. it doesn’t matter.

the point for me is that this give-and-take was never balanced. it was always wei wuxian over-extending his internal resources while jc never realised or refused to. some say their relationship only became worse/toxic after the wen remnants were rescued but the seeds were there since their childhoods. their circumstances exacerbated the issue tenfold, yes, most definitely, but that issue was always present and would blow up their relationship sooner or later, as long as jiang cheng didn’t have substantial growth. jiang cheng continuing to live was worth the sacrifice for wei wuxian (be it from a source of affection, obligation, duty, anything) but staying by wei wuxian’s side after the shift to burial mounds was not worth the trouble for jiang cheng. and yes their personalities have alot to do with their individual decisions in these pressing matters but i’m sure that were it jiang yanli who had taken wei wuxian’s spot, jiang cheng’s actions would be far different but do the switch with jiang cheng, and wei wuxian would still make the same choice. because jiang cheng’s relationship with wei wuxian was undeniably unbalanced to begin with. he never did consider wwx his equal and so, never tried to put in the same effort that wwx did. it’s as simple as that.

[oodearest]

I’ve found myself back into Naruto after being somewhat indifferent to the end of Shippuden. Was not a huge fan of that final arc.

Anyways I remember initially being annoyed and/or disappointed with some of Sasuke’s actions towards the end of the series. Don’t get me started on him immediately trying to fight Naruto after they ended an entire WAR. Grrr!!

But I’m able to articulate better why I found the whole ‘let’s get Sasuke back’ rhetoric in Shippuden so frustrating. This might get long so bear with me, might as well format this as a zany essay while I’m at it.

Mission get Sasuke back — The terrible, no good experience of having your trauma ignored

It’s been a while so I could be wrong, but I feel like team 7 never address how absolutely valid Sasuke’s desire to leave is? Kakashi touches on it when he tries to reason with Sasuke pre-defection but I don’t think it ever got through.

In Sakura and Naruto’s case, they want him back, they say they want to be a team again, but none of them ever considers his perspective?

The inherent racism against the Uchiha

Their approach is pretty tone deaf honestly. Sasuke’s a victim of violence. His people were massacred. At the start of the series it’s only been like 5 years since it happened. Sasuke has no one. He also can’t trust anyone. Prior to the massacre the village ostracised them and feared them. In Sasuke’s lifetime, the village has never been welcoming to his identity as an Uchiha.

To top it all off this hatred was incited YEARS earlier by non other than the village’s own second Hokage. It’s pretty vile how much passive and oftentimes—straight up overt—racism is directed towards the Uchiha and no one ever calls it out?

Honestly after Sasuke learns the truth from Itachi, why would he ever feel at peace in the village again? How could he ever return there knowing what they allowed? Does he even fit in there? Did he belong in the first place?

The loneliness of processing his people’s oppresion

These are some complex issues. Sasuke starts tackling them at 12 when he first leaves and only really process it by the end of the war. He spends his adolescence seeking revenge, when he gets it he spends the remainder of the series grieving. He’s mourning, he’s searching for the truth, he’s trying to grasp anything tangible in this awful world he’s inhabiting.

I cannot stress how MAD I get when Sakura and Naruto are like come back, we miss you, what about our bond 🥺 Like guys priorities?? Sasuke is single-handedly tackling systematic corruption and discrimination, give him a minute.

All things considered, he handles those issues in lik four years. He’s pretty efficient.

Overall I don’t think Sasuke’s problem was ever about losing his morals or succumbing to rage. That played a role of course. But the crux of his issue was him fighting for himself, his people and getting justice for something that was largely brushed aside.

I think it’s disappointing that we don’t see more support from team 7 or the village. No rage on Sasuke’s behalf? Not even a brief acknowledgment that the previous leadership was cooked and unfortunately dropped the ball on protecting his people.

Does forgiveness even apply here?

Naruto is a series about forgiveness and redemption. Which can be so beautiful. However I get the sense they want Sasuke to move on from anger and that’s so not possible given what he experienced. There’s a reason reparations is a big part of reconciliation. Konoha was never going to do that under its current leadership.

Konoha is a system. If Sasuke opposes that system then it’s simply him paving a better way for himself. I don’t get why that concept is hard for them to understand. This village is so cooked that the Sannin peaced out of there as soon as they could. Didn’t even come back post Kyuubi attack.

Naruto is a forgiving character, but as someone who also got done dirty by the village it’s sad that he didn’t understand why Sasuke couldn’t drop all of his grief and plans, to simply return to being one of Konoha’s soldiers.

Anyways there’s a lot of nuance missing here that I didn’t go into detail about. Sasuke objectively did some horrible things. Shippuden is him processing trauma realtime, it’s not a surprise that he’s messy, raw and self-destructive. I switch between being so frustrated with him then feeling so sad about his circumstances.

They could never make me form a one-dimensional opinion on you Sasuke! You’re worth thousands of think pieces.

[echo-exco]

With Damians recent developments towards wanting to maybe be a doctor, I think it could be interesting to see that dynamic with reader.

Where his hands are stained with blood, yours have only helped others. Maybe youre both volunteering at the same hospital, and the patients there flock to you like a flicker of hope in the darkness. The patients of Gotham are much more wary than anywhere else, so gaining their trust feels nigh impossible. Somehow, you've done it. Like second nature, like you haven't even noticed.

Something akin to envy might first spark in him, as a natural response, before relenting his pride and trying to learn what makes her "better" at this than him. Of course he wouldnt know she was a meta, but still.

Also you can totally ignore this your wonderful fic just had my mind spiralling lol

I LOVE THAT!! THAT’S A REALLY GOOD IDEA!!

But unfortunately, I don’t think we have something like that with Damian here yet… 😔 (or maybe we do, if my inner author feels motivated enough).

(Small warning for a long reply)

Damian and healer!reader’s relationship is already quite complicated on its own (with some one-sided, inexplicable hatred).

It’s not really a surprise though, considering healer!reader tends to be pretty “neutral” with almost all the Batfam members.

To be honest, I don’t think healer!reader could actually treat people in Gotham.

She does have pretty good and experienced medical knowledge, but she depends completely on her healing powers, which not only allow her to heal someone instantly but also make her feel “alive.”

Without her powers, even though she can try to help in conventional ways, healer!reader always feels like she might fail, that something could go wrong, and that fills her with anxiety.

Healer!reader is completely dependent on her power and validates herself through it, and since she’s currently unable to use it in Gotham… well…

Besides that, healer!reader would need Bruce’s permission—or a doctor’s—just to even think about using her experienced, non-basic medical knowledge.

A better example is when I mentioned Tim in the post: like I said there, healer!reader only did small things to help him deal with his discomfort.

She doesn’t consider that she used anything that required “master-level” knowledge… she just took care of Tim the way a (family) doctor should.

BUT if somehow she were to get permission and trust to use her healing powers on the patients in a Gotham hospital…

They wouldn’t even have the chance to decide whether they could trust her or not, because healer!reader’s abilities are extremely fast for a normal being.

In an earlier reply, I explained how I imagine healer!reader’s powers work: think of it as her using threads to “fix” her patients like they were broken dolls.

That said, the pain that comes after the instant healing is horrible (though it heavily depends on how bad the patient’s condition was before healer!reader treated them).

Earning the trust of the wounded in Gotham wouldn’t even be something healer!reader consciously seeks—it would just happen.

Maybe it’s because of the calmness she radiates, or because, unlike most people, she never shows disgust, fear, or resignation when facing an injury.

However, seeing such an indifferent expression on a child’s face in such a gruesome, chaotic scene full of injured people is unsettling.

Though it’s even worse to endure the pain after being healed, isn’t it?

That’s why I think, even if Damian wanted to learn from her, I’m not sure healer!reader could really teach him how to treat people, or even how to be a good doctor.

She herself never allowed her mind to approach healing in a traditional way, because her powers and skills are her refuge, her absolute security: she never fails at healing.

But that very gift also isolates her, because in Gotham, a place full of distrust and disdain toward most metahumans, revealing her ability would be a huge risk to her life.

I also think the same about how Damian would feel toward healer!reader because of her medical skills.

He might feel a mix of admiration, frustration, and envy, especially because, without knowing she’s a meta, he would desperately try to find a logical explanation for why she can do what others find almost impossible.

Why his seemingly weak and gentle sister has absurdly good medical knowledge…

That’s NOT right, she’s supposed to be normal… so why?

She’s supposed to be safe… why?

In short, the relationship between Damian and healer!reader would be complicated if we explored that aspect.

(Who knows? Maybe in a what if? if I get enough creativity!)

Awww! Thank you so much for your sweet words at the end, dear!

I’m really happy to know you like my writing, and I’m also sorry if this response was way too long!

[yuikomorii]

Heyhey, may I know why you love Yui so much?

I hope this isn’t a weird question, it’s just that personally I don’t ever find the heroine to be an interesting character but I’m always ready to listen to other opinions :)

// To be honest… I don’t even know. (￣▽￣;)

As a heroine, I don’t believe Yui stands out as anything extraordinary. She isn’t particularly bad, just your average 2010s heroine, sharing many traits with others. I wouldn’t say she’s the kindest, prettiest, or mentally strongest MC out there, but despite that, I found myself growing more attached to her than to any other. There were moments when she annoyed me to the point where I had to stop the game, yet I couldn’t bring myself to dislike her. I find Yui and the other DL characters quite challenging to handle. Although Yui may appear nice and gentle, she got this amazing talent to get either herself or others in troubles, haha.

Still, maybe it’s her flaws that really drew me in. I’m not saying her behavior is always good, I can empathize with the Diaboys and understand why they lose patience with her sometimes. Yui can be selfish, pushy, foolish, shallow, and, depending on the route, quite possessive and obsessive. But that’s exactly what makes her entertaining to me. I wouldn’t have enjoyed DL if the heroine had been an innocent figure who always ended up getting the short end of the stick despite never doing anything wrong. It’s refreshing that the game shows her facing the consequences of her own actions, even going mad in some endings not due to abuse, but her own nature. It serves as a reminder that humans and vampires aren’t really that different, considering how anyone is prone to do bad things if triggered hard enough.

Additionally, I like that she’s sometimes very horny! It’s somehow relatable to see her admit that her initial attraction to Ayato was based on his looks and the pleasure he gave her. Many heroines are often surrounded by handsome men, yet it’s rare to see any act on that attraction as openly as Yui does.

I don’t mind that Yui isn’t particularly independent and seeks male validation. I don’t see anything inherently wrong with wanting attention and love from an attractive guy, as long as it doesn’t involve putting other girls down, which Yui never does. She may be stupid and have a low learning ability, but I find that both concerning and funny. DL would have been way more boring if she weren’t like that. In short, I like that she makes me laugh~.

Last but not least, she’s supportive, pure-hearted says/does the cringiest things ever and gets embarrassed, which I find absolutely cute. I love her energetic, clumsy, loud, cheerful, and talkative side so much! She’s one of those people who, no matter what they do, you end up forgiving them because they’re just so endearing!

In this house, we love GIRLFAILURES! >:3

[strayy-starss]

Hii! Could you do some Elliott Headcanons? If not, don't be to shy w the Alex smut🤭

✧A/N: Yes of course!! Elliot is definitely my second favorite bachelor, so this is absolutely perfect!! And don’t you worry, Alex smut will be coming in the future 😏. Also, I wasn’t sure if you wanted NSFW or SFW, so I just did them both! Hope you don’t mind :)

✧Warnings: eventual mentions of sex and kinks

☆SFW & NSFW Headcanons for Elliot☆

✧ SFW:

Elliot definitely reads a lot of books (like, a LOT). I feel like this is a given, seeing that he writes them and has a library when he moves in with the farmer. Let me tell you, though, if the farmer is also a reader, he will be ecstatic. And I mean, like, through the roof. He’d want to talk about them all the time and he’d likely recommend lots of books for you to read based on both your preference and his.

I think he’d also love to read books out loud to you, whether or not he wrote them or not. His voice is angelic though, so it’s not like the farmer is complaining.

Speaking of books, he’d definitely ask you for your opinion on plot lines or scenes for his stories, regardless of whether you’re a bookworm or not. Mostly I feel like he’d just seek validation that his writings are as good as the ones that he’s read, or just good in general. 

I feel like sometimes, and I mean VERY rarely, Elliot will spiral into a place of despair when it comes to his writing. When that happens, he can go into writer’s block and will push you away to think of ideas. If this happens, depending on the severity, I think you may be able to pull him out of it with reassuring words and cuddles. If he’s in too deep, however, it’s best to give him space until he makes it to a better place, where he either figures something out, or decides it isn’t worth the trouble. He’d definitely apologize to you after the fact and make it up to them with lots of TLC.

Elliot doesn’t use the words “pretty” or “handsome”. No, he uses words like “gorgeous” “stunning” “glorious” and “ravishing”. I’m sorry, but this man is way too sophisticated to use simple words. Make that shit fancy and pair it with a silky voice and you get Elliot.

Elliot’s a wine kinda guy. He’d definitely have those nights where he feels compelled to make a charcuterie board with all those cheeses and grapes and have some red wine with you.

Now, I know you’re all thinking it, and I'm thinking it too: Elliot with a ponytail. I bet you he loves his hair, but it does get annoying sometimes when it falls in his face when he’s trying to write or help out around the farm, so he definitely keeps a hair tie on his wrist in case he needs it. He’ll always offer it to you, too, if he thinks you need it.

He’s an early riser, too. He’ll be up before you and he’ll be sitting and reading a book with a cup of coffee and he’ll greet you like, “Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?”

And like the gentleman he is, he probably does a lot of extra and unnecessary, but thoughtful, things for you. Like, if you’ve had a long day, he’d sit you down and take your shoes off for you, even though you insist that you can do that yourself. Then he’d take off your jacket if you were wearing one, and make you a nice cup of tea so that you can wind down with him.

✧NSFW BELOW THE CUT✧ ⬇

✧ NSFW:

I firmly believe that Elliot’s a switch. He’s always willing to take initiative, but we all know that Elliot is a pretty princess at heart and sometimes just wants all the attention.

God help me this man knows how to talk dirty. He’s read enough books that he knows exactly what to say to you in every circumstance, and exactly how to turn you on or get you in the mood. And then the next day he’ll act all innocent like he wasn’t just whispering how much he was gonna ruin you last night. He’s the type of guy to say, “I don’t want you to be pleasured. I want you to be trembling.” (Jesus FUCK I’m down bad for him.)

I feel like Elliot would set up a safe word with you, but he’d want it to be something symbolic or fancy or something. Like instead of “baseball” it would be “nightingale” and you'd have to spit that word out when you want him to stop. Speaking of, as soon as you do say the safe word, he’ll stop everything and just gently hold you, whispering that he’s sorry and that he hopes you can forgive him, even though you really aren’t that mad at him at all, just a little shaken.

As far as kinks go, I think Elliot is open to almost all kinks with a few restrictions on things that he just isn’t into. I feel like he’d especially be into bondage and blindfolding. It’s more of a spiritual thing for him, as it opens you up fully to him, like you can’t hide anything from him anymore and you completely trust him with your body. If you aren’t into that, then he’ll be a little disappointed, but would get over it quickly as long as you promise to let it happen on his birthday. 

Elliot absolutely loves to be tied up, though, for the same symbolic reasons. He trusts you with his whole being, and knows that you only want to make him feel good.

He's a sucker for neck kisses, so give him a hickey or two. He wears that collared shirt for a reason, right?

He hates the idea of a gag. He loves to hear you crying out in pleasure. It fuels him and makes him feel happy that he could pleasure you so much. If you want it, though, he'd never deny his lover what they want, even if it means he can't hear you as well.

Elliot naturally isn’t rough when it comes to sex, but he most definitely can be. This man will be on his knees to do exactly what you want him to. He prefers it that way, actually. So long as you give him the guidelines of what you want him to do, he can take it from there. If you don’t, though, he’d probably be asking a lot of: “Is this okay?” Because like the gentleman he is, he would never want to overstep your boundaries, even though he probably knows everything that one can about sex.

He’d definitely use writing as an excuse to see you naked. It would be something about him needing to know the anatomy of a person, regardless of your gender identification or sex. It would be funny if you were a man, too, because then he’d get all flustered when you’d ask why, as he’s a man himself. He’d make up something like how your body is shaped differently than his, and he needs a reference that isn’t himself.

Same thing about writing goes for sex. He might ask you to touch yourself or even him for a scene, and he’d take notes as he’d try to hold himself back from touching you. He’d jot down every little sound you make and every single word you say to “make the scene more real,” though it may or may not be for him to read and masturbate to later.

You later figure this out and tell him that he doesn't need an excuse to have sex with you, but he gets embarrassed and insists that it truly is for his writing, though he will be a little more open-minded about it in the future.

✧ That’s all, thank you for reading!! I also need to make a longer list for Alex. I feel like I didn't do my baby justice, seeing as I wrote much more for Elliot.

[brittle-doughie]

NGL I was kinda hoping we’ll get a bit more reason as to why Candy Apple’s so heavily obsessed with Shadow Milk. (I’m delusional here in hopes we’ll get more to her character other then obsessed fangirl or at least why she’s obsessed)



Poor thang had her head jumbled from the corruption.

However.

Though she rarely shows it, Candy Apple Cookie harbors a deep fear of being unwanted. Her loyalty to Shadow Milk Cookie is absolute, bordering on obsession, and she constantly seeks his validation, yearning for even the smallest gesture of approval.

[chelseasdagger]

Restoring Faith

Father Paul Hill x Reader

Summary: You pay Father Paul one of your midnight visits and he finds himself struggling with his sworn devotion

Warnings: religious themes, sacrilege, smut, oral over clothes (m!receiving)

Author’s Note: This is a late birthday present for @chellestrash​ , my true love of my life, and I hope I’ve done this little idea you love justice :’) I’m absolutely positive I didn’t make it sounds as pretty as some of the other fics, but I hope it will be alright :)

Word Count: 4k

The cold air sends a shiver down your spine as the gravel crunches beneath your feet. Wrapping your arms around yourself tighter, you keep your head down to protect your face from the wind. You follow the path that connects the great big church to the smaller house just behind it, the trail only visible due to the moonlight pouring down from above.

You’re no idiot, you’re aware anybody could see your somewhat frequent visits to see him. However, you convinced yourself that it was okay to go, so long as you waited past midnight to take the trip. Whether it was actually a valid excuse was a whole other subject. One you didn’t particularly want to think of and potentially use to talk yourself out of doing this.

Stepping up the old, creaky stairs of the small porch, you give one last glance over your shoulder to the abandoned street the church faces. There’s not a person in sight and you raise your hand to knock on the wooden door.

It opens after a moment and you smile at the sight of the priest in front of you. He’s dressed completely in black, excluding the stark white collar that frames his neck. You can’t help your eyes from giving him a quick once over, taking in the dark button up shirt tucked into the form fitting slacks that drape down his legs. His voice calling your name brings your gaze back to his face.

“How…,” he trails off, craning his neck higher and looking past you, “how can I help you?” His greeting is stiff, and you know he’s worried about curious eyes possibly seeing you here. You can’t fight the way your lips pull into a smirk at the idea of him already getting nervous.

“I just had a question, Father,” you begin to explain, and notice him looking at you with cautious eyes. “Is that not what you said? That we can come to you and seek guidance? Ask questions about our faith?” You can admit that it was slightly unfair using his own words against him, but it works all the same. He bows his head before nodding once, silently stepping aside and allowing you to walk inside.

It’s the same as it always was, with the couch being the only real centerpiece to the room. The curtains are drawn closed on each of the windows and it gives the sense of seclusion from the rest of the small island. The three lamps that line the right wall are all lit, painting everything in a warm glow. You’ll never get over how welcoming his home was, how it provided a safe space when you needed an escape. 

The sound of the door clicking shut makes you turn around to face him. He’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest, slightly hesitant as he stays silent and waits for you to speak first.

“Nobody saw me, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you flash him a cheeky smirk. Paul responds wordlessly with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He steps further into the room, his arm brushing yours as he walks to the small, open kitchen area. 

“I haven’t seen you at Mass,” he finally breaks his silence. You watch as he grabs an empty glass from the drying rack beside the sink before filling it with water from the tap. “Can I get you anything?” he offers with wide eyes, motioning towards the cup in his hand.

“I was sick,” you pick the first thing that comes to mind, “allergy stuff since the weather is changing.” The lie rolls right off your tongue. You watch as he drinks his water down, fixating on the way his Adam's apple moves with each swallow. Giving yourself a mental shake, you answer his earlier question.

“And I’m okay, thanks,” you decline his offer as you lean against the back of the couch. The priest says nothing but gives a solemn look your way.

“I’m… sorry to hear that,” he speaks gently into the quiet room. His dark, brown eyes look sincere, enforcing the truth behind his words. There’s a small pout on his lips and you’re not sure if it’s from your faux illness or if he can somehow sense that you’re not speaking the truth. Either way, he continues with the conversation.

“But I’m glad you’re feeling better. W-What can I do for you?” He sets his glass down on the small counter beside him. “You… um, mentioned seeking guidance? What about?” His eyes are focused onto yours and you find yourself only able to keep eye contact for a few seconds before his stare feels like too much. 

“Well,” you begin with a light laugh under your breath, “I just wanted to have you read to me again.” Your fingers toy with the thick seam of the couch cushion. “Is that okay? It just—it helps, is all.” You’re not certain the explanation makes a ton of sense, but there is truth behind it. His words help; it relaxes you to come and listen to him read, even if you don’t always find yourself secure in the faith you grew up with.

When you look up at him again, Paul is standing with a genuine smile on his face. It’s clear he likes hearing that he can help, and you feel a twinge of guilt shoot through your chest at how he genuinely enjoys what he does. It makes you being here that much worse, knowing how content and devout he is.

“Of course, I-I can do that,” he replies, his voice somehow even quieter than before. “Did you have a certain story you wanted me to read from?”

You think over his question for only a short moment. Deep down, you knew you could listen to him speak about even the most mundane things, including what he had eaten for breakfast. His voice was the thing to calm you, not the words he spoke.

“I don’t really care. Whatever you’d like, whatever we left off with,” you flash him a small smile. The priest nods only once before walking towards his bedroom, disappearing into the shadows of the small corridor leading to the door.

You let out a big breath of air you weren’t even aware you were holding in. Being alone with him felt good, it always did, but you couldn’t deny the guilt once again growing in your chest. Deep down, you knew this was wrong, but it always felt good when the guilt shaped to something else. Something stronger and impossibly difficult to ignore.

There’s only a small moment for self reflection before you hear his footsteps echoing out on the wood floor again. You glance towards the sound and find him returning back into the main room with the Bible wedged between his arm and his side. His fingers are busy, rolling the fabric of his long sleeve up to just above his elbow. As inch after inch of his skin is exposed, you find yourself unable to look away from the veins trailing up the inside of his arm.

He repeats his actions on the opposite side, gazing up at you from under the few strands of hair that have fallen out of place. Your lip finds its way between your teeth subconsciously, your own way of anchoring yourself and ignoring the need to tuck the loose curls back behind his ear.

“In moments where I truly begin to doubt my faith, I…” he trails off, fixing the last roll of his cuff over his forearm. He grabs the Bible and brushes his thumb over the raised letters as he continues, “I like to look back on the story of Job.”

You can’t even stop the exasperated sigh that leaves your body. He looks up at the sound, his head tilted slightly like a confused puppy.

“Job? Really, Father? I’m pretty sure that’s the opposite of restoring faith,” you curl your fingers to create air quotes over the last two words. Paul gives a small smile, lowering his head. He’s dealt with your opinions regarding faith and why God allows things to happen as He does.

“Maybe… maybe to some but I-I find that it’s a reminder,” his voice is quiet and calm, already slipping into his usual pattern of speech when he’s behind the lectern. He steps deeper into the living room and passes by you, making his way to the empty couch.

“A reminder to trust in Him even when we’re not sure of-of the path,” he finishes. You’re thankful he’s behind your back so he doesn’t see the way your eyes roll at his canned response. He must’ve seen the tension in your body though, taking note of the way your arms are still crossed over your chest, because he tries once more to get you to listen.

“You do remember that he was rewarded? In the end?”

“Yeah, but he went through hell to get it… hardly seems fair,” you answer him.

“Well, the Lord, He—,”

“If you say ‘Works in mysterious ways’…” you cut him off with a warning glare as you finally turn to face him.

Paul lets out a breathy laugh, staring down at the thick book in his hands. “I was only going to say that He doesn’t always…” he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words, “reveal His plans to us in a way that makes sense at the time. That’s all,” he finishes with a tight-lipped smile.

There’s a brief moment of silence that hangs in the air as you wait for him to move past this conversation. His quick inhale fills the room as he clears his throat quietly, his arm gesturing towards the couch.

“Shall we?”

“Of course,” you respond softly, your words tucked under your breath. He walks around to the front of the couch, his eyes fixed on you as you follow his path. He sits down as his fingers curl around the blue, knitted blanket that’s sprawled out across the cushion beside him.

“Here, let me—,” he doesn’t finish his sentence before draping it across the back of the couch. There’s a spot for you now, close enough that you knew you’d be touching him if you sat beside him. As tempting as the offer is, you find yourself shaking your head gently.

“Is-is something wrong?” he asks, his big, dark eyes searching yours. They’re wide and innocent, truly worrying that he overstepped. Once again, you’re reminded of how pure the man before you is; you nearly reconsider your original idea that made you seek him out tonight in the first place.

You shake your head as you stand in front of him, silently kneeling down and sitting on the floor. The priest’s expression instantly grows apprehensive. You flash him an innocent smile but his unsure glare never falters.

“I’ll just listen from here,” you tell him, trying to ease his worries. He looks hesitant but eventually swallows before opening the Bible. His long fingers splay out across the thin pages, turning them one after the other before finally stopping on a page.

He opens his mouth to speak, the words flowing effortlessly off of his tongue. His voice falls into the deep, rumbly tone that you only ever hear when he’s reading to you. There’s no audience, no image he has to maintain, and the words are so quiet it seems almost as if he’s reading to himself. You’ve always preferred these moments, when he appeared the most authentic he could be.

The more he reads the more comfortable you feel. Your body begins to relax and an idea strikes up in your mind. As he turns the next page, bringing in a deep inhale to continue the sentence, you let your head rest against his knee.

He immediately stutters over his words, repeating the same sound over and over. He never breaks his concentration though, and eventually pushes through and finishes the sentence. Not before flashing you a warning look as you rest your cheek against his leg, though.

It isn’t entirely inappropriate and would even be seen as a normal, platonic gesture. But given his profession, you knew it was absolutely not appropriate. You don’t pull away however, just keep your body slumped against his leg.

He continues speaking the old words, his pronounced sentences dissipating into muttered whispers the longer he goes on. Admittedly, you felt special that this tone was reserved only for you; there was a faint flare of pride in your chest knowing that you were the only one to hear his words so rumbly it’s as if they never fully left his chest.

At some point though, you begin to grow bored of just sitting there and waiting for him to finish. Usually these late night reads brought your anxiety down enough just to fall asleep on the priest, leaving him in the most awkward position of not knowing how to convince himself any of this was okay. But right now, you’d rather have some fun.

Paul knew something was up the second he saw your hand reaching towards him out of the corner of his eye. The muscles in his leg immediately tense, you feel it from under your skin. But you don’t want to raise his suspicion so soon.

Stretching further towards the Bible in his lap, you spread your fingers and place both palms over each side. Once his view is completely shielded from the printed words, he immediately looks into your mischievous eyes.

“What—what are you doing?” he asks confusedly. His eyebrows are pulled together as he awaits your answer.

“Just wanted to see how much you knew,” you reply genuinely. You knew the man had poured over this book time and time again, searching for meanings deeper than the blatant lessons that were spelled out for the reader. It always sent a conflicting feeling coursing through you, the way he could recite word after word from memory as if he was the one who had conjured them up. Conflicting because you liked the reminder of how devout he was, and isn’t that just a multifaceted guilt trip.

Paul smiles at your youthful game, and mentally accepts the challenge. He parts his lips before the words fall from his tongue.

“And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all,” he begins, never looking away from your face as he repeats them with no hesitation.

“For Job said, ‘It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.’” The priest can’t stop from chuckling at the end of his sentence, having looked at your own genuine, bright grin. “Thus Job did continually.”

Once he’s finished, he flashes you his own smile before glancing down at your hands covering the pages still. You slowly remove them, giggling under your breath at how he passed your unofficial test.

The priest licks his lips once before clearing his throat gently, continuing again with his reading. As the minutes pass, you find yourself not paying much attention to the actual weight of the words. You just focus on his muttering voice until you're reminded of how sweet his last stutter sounded. And because you just can’t help yourself, you’re determined to hear it again.

Snaking your hand up his thigh, you feel his body grow stiff all over again. That adorable stutter becomes prominent once more, his eyes quickly focusing on your fingers rubbing up the inside of his leg as he attempts to finish the paragraph. Trying to pace your plan, you curl your fingers around his thigh and give him a moment to get used to the feeling.

“What are you doing?” These words are the coldest he’s spoken all night, yet you stay silent and wait. It takes him longer this time to finally react, to give his consent in the smallest agreement possible. It’s so minuscule that anybody else wouldn’t have noticed, but you know him awfully more than you should.

Half a nod. That’s all it takes, and you let your fingers graze lightly over the black slacks. They're taught from how he’s sitting, and you can see the outline of his thigh through the stretched material. His voice shakes now, the tone less steady and sure, as he forces himself to keep reading.

You’ve got to admit he’s doing better than you thought. He doesn’t stop reading, you assume he’s just trying to focus on something else, anything but your hand moving between his thighs. You must’ve hit a sweet spot though, inching near the little alcove where his thigh meets his hip, because the next thing you hear is a shuddering exhale as he halts his reading. 

And there it is only a second later—the outline of his cock showing through the dark dress pants. It never took very long, although this time it seems even quicker than usual. He continues to grow there, until you can see the fabric straining to accommodate for his now swollen head. You’ve barely touched him and he’s already so responsive.

Now that you can physically see the effect you have on him, there’s truly nothing that can stop you. Sure the nagging guilt is still in the back of your mind, telling you that you shouldn’t do this, but you push it away as much as you can. He looks so tempting right now: the loose strands of hair falling into his face, his lip caught between his teeth as he suppresses his groans, the faint twitch his cock gives when he feels your finger lightly drag along the base of his length. You love seeing him this desperate for you.

Your one finger lightly tracing the length of him is truly all it takes for the first twitch to happen in his trousers. The sight makes your mouth nearly water and you finally curl your fingers around him properly. Your grip isn’t too tight considering it’s over two layers of clothes, but it doesn’t stop the choked grunt from finally escaping his lips.

Still you continue, leaning closer until your breath is fanning over the bulge. He feels it, you can tell from the way his fingers clutch the book that’s resting on his other leg. The veins in the back of his hand become more prominent the harder he grabs it. Every part of his body is conflicting itself; he wants it but he knows he shouldn’t.

Still you wait, staring up at him and silently asking again if this is okay. He doesn’t stall as much this time—his eyes squeeze shut tightly before nodding quickly again, forcing another inhale through his nose.

You don’t waste a second and quickly press your tongue flat against the outline of his tip. Slowly licking along the length, you watch his body reel from how hard his stomach clenches at the feeling. He begins to shut the Bible but you grab his wrist before it can close all the way. You shake your head slowly, attempting to convince him to keep it open.

“Y…You know I can’t.”

“I like hearing you, Father,” you mumble quietly in the room. He stares down at you with an expression you can’t quite describe. There’s no emotion on his face, but his eyes look pained, no doubt from the name you referred to him as. He hardly moves except for the shallow breaths that you can only notice because of how close you are to him.

Waiting for his reaction seems to drag on for hours before he finally sighs through his nose and opens the book. You notice the way his fingers shake as he smooths out the page before trying to remember where he left off. Your lips pull into a smile as you hear his strained voice fill the room.

Squeezing the base of his cock tighter, you drag your tongue across his tip again before wrapping your lips around it. The story is cut off with his deep grunt, and you hum around him at the pleasant noise. The priest has his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling as he tries to regain his composure.

You knew this was an awful, sacrilegious act you two were doing, but it doesn’t stop the heat growing between your legs. Leaning closer into him, you work your mouth on him faster, sucking harder through the fabric. His hand closest to you grips the edge of the seat as he seethes through his teeth.

Paul finally looks down at you, staring into your eyes that have never once left his face. You hold his gaze before glancing wordlessly to the book still in his hand. The whimper that he barely slips out is your new favorite sound, replaying it in your head as you shut your eyes.

“A-As long as… m…my breath,” he’s cut off with a shaky inhale. He tries to read aloud, but his voice trembles the entire time.

“Keep going, Father,” you pull your mouth away from the outline in his black trousers to encourage him. There’s a long, dark stripe along the fabric from your tongue, but another wet patch where the head of his cock is straining against the material.

“As long as my-my breath is in me, and t-the spirit of God is in my nostrils—,” he’s finding each word more impossible to speak. You never allow him to give up though, rubbing your hand over his thigh to support him.

“My lips will not speak f…falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit.” He manages to finish the paragraph before taking deep breaths, swallowing thickly and trying his damndest to not look at the sinful scene in his lap. But his body betrays him once more, twitching into your mouth when you hum sweetly around him as a reward for finishing what you asked him to.

Pressing your tongue right in the ridge under his swollen head, you hear a new sound escape his pressed lips. It's a guttural, raw twist of your name and it’s unexpected.

“Oh… Oh—Wait,” he tries to warn you but it’s much too late. His release happens without him realizing, his body moving while his mind doesn’t have a chance to catch up. When you feel him pulsing in your mouth you glance up at him and oh, what a sight it is.

He’s completely disheveled, biting down into his hand to muffle the noise he’s ashamed for anyone to hear, and the veins in his neck are protruding just above the edge of his collar. It’s not the first time you’ve seen him like this, but you always make sure to memorize the sight down to those details. To always keep the picture in your mind.

What really catches your attention though, is the stream of white bubbling up through the taught fabric around his sensitive tip. You didn’t realize he would have finished quite this fast, but you definitely don’t mind it. Squeezing the middle of his length tightly, you slowly slide your hand up, determined to get all of it out of him.

Paul’s thighs are beginning to shake from the sensation and you can only imagine how good it must feel for him. You stick your tongue out as you lap up the mess he’s made, and his thighs jolt to close around your body. His sensitivity to your every touch leaves a desire that burns hotly in the bottom of your stomach. You love the feeling of having power over him, admittedly too much.

Once he’s clean, you finally let go of him altogether and sit back on your legs. He’s left panting in awe as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. You wish you could see inside his head, try and understand what he’s thinking. But right now his dark eyes are glossed over and he looks as if he’s somewhere completely else.

“Thank you, Father.”

He scrunches his eyes shut tightly the second the words fill the air. It’s silent except for his panting as you rest your head on his knee once more. This time it is a platonic action, your way of showing him you’re there without words. And there you sit beside your priest in the small, old house behind the great big church, with the weight of everything that just happened.

[genderqueerdykes]

I’m really nervous to say this but I think I might be a girl, but it’s confusing because I still think I was born male.

Like, I use he/him for myself sometimes. I don’t consider myself even trans, I’m a girl in a boys body or a girl who was raised/born with a penis. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a real Transfem, or like I’m less valid because I still consider myself male to some degree. Or I feel like I’m using transmed language. I know it isn’t true, but the internalized transphobia is real. 😞

(also btw I go by the name Ren, if you could refer to me that way please)

hello there! thanks for taking the time to stop by, we really appreciate it

i totally see where you're coming from. i don't think you have to feel ashamed for thinking/feeling that way right now. i have met so many girls in your situation and it's totally okay to feel that way while you're coming to accept who you are. many transfems are affected by imposter syndrome and i think it's due to the absolutely unrealistic expectations we place on every single transfem. i think it's because of how poorly other people treat you and other transfems

it's really easy to internalize that you're not "really" this or "really" that when other people treat you that way, or you've witnessed that behavior being expressed towards others. it's alright to feel unsure of yourself right now. a lot of trans people start off thinking they're a girl in a boy's body, or a boy in a girl's body. it's alright to not see your body as a girl's body yet. it takes time to accept that. some of my exes have been in the same situation where they still saw their body as a man's body and it's okay. you are a girl in a girl's body, but you've been told otherwise for so long it's okay to take a while to dismantle that

you sound transfem to me, i hope you're able to feel more confident soon as time passes. if possible, it may help you to try to seek out online transfem spaces, i'm part of a few on discord and i see a lot of people being very proactive in helping ease the dysphoria of other transfems. it's so common, you're not alone. some of the most intense dysphoria i've ever seen in a trans person came from the trans girls i've known. and who can blame you? society is so harsh towards trans women

it's okay if you're not perfectly feminine or if you don't fit into any type of box. it's okay if you need time to accept things. and many trans people do end up viewing their lives as "halves". many older trans women i've met have told me about "when they were living as a boy/man" and when they began living as a woman. i've met trans men who say the inverse. it's okay if you feel like you were a boy/man at at one point and are no longer. it's okay to feel like you were born in a boy/man's body and need to transition to make it feel like a girl's body, and your body. however you feel about it, you don't need to feel ashamed of yourself.

you're still a girl, Ren! you're still transfem. imposter syndrome is tough, i hope it eases up for you soon. you don' thave to jump through any hurdles to be transfem- so many transfems out there feel just the same way you do. it's okay

hope that helps, take care for now. please feel free to ask any more questions you may have!

[thatnonameuser]

Hi, glad to see you posted this part, I really liked it. You did a great job, you wrote very interestingly and most importantly many things that satisfied my hunger for reading. But I have questions.1. How is it that humans have not ended yet? It's just that if this continues, everyone will die out.2. Will the parents of the students he killed kill Crowley for not keeping an eye on him. And will the headmaster be punished for this?Personal questions:How do you feel after publishing?At what moments were you strong for stupidity and why?Did you like the story that you were able to write?And I have an idea. If in this world there is a curse that is cast on the yandere: For example, a curse that does not allow the yandere to remember his beloved and he constantly searches for her, but cannot find her. And he cannot form a connection with another, because he is tormented by visions and a wall of a couple with whom he cannot meet. Thanks again for the head. Google translator.

I’m glad you like it! Now for the questions.

I don’t think it would. With the whole ‘you have one true love that will make you whole’ thing, it doesn’t mean that people just won’t try to seek companionship from others because they’re waiting for their darling. Even if someone doesn’t have a darling, the whole within them can be partially filled by having relationships with other people. Which can result in them having kids with other people, even when they don’t have their darling. Though it’s just slapping a bandage on a bullet wound, it’s still something that happens. 

Not everyone will one day find their darlings, never finding them and death are a good reason for some darlings to never meet their yanderes. But when love is needed by the desperate, they’ll do anything to have it. And the products of the substitute love will eventually be conceived.

2. This is kind of inspired by @deceitful-darlings evil au. 

Once again, I don’t think so. Sage Island allows for most darling capture/ rival disposal methods to be legalized to prevent underhanded tactics from turning the island into a warzone. Whether you attend NRC or RSA, you get the perks of lax laws should you meet your darling there.So essentially, by agreeing to attend you’re agreeing to risk your life, but usually there’s minimal issues. If you’re willing to kill someone on the isle to get what you want, you also better be willing to risk that yourself. 

Sure, some people might want revenge, but yanderes work on a no-snitching policy. Without any witnesses, you have no idea whether or not they died in a tragic accident, or from murder. Besides, if there’s nobody, how can you tell whether they were killed or just vanished?

3. Ok, I’m gonna be  honest, I actually wait to see whether you guys like it or not. 😅 For the last chapter, I was relieved that it was over after three or so months of a lot of writing, burn out and writer’s block. But in general, I am someone that craves validation and compliments for their work so about an hour after posting, I go ‘I hope they like it’. 

It doesn’t matter if you don't, that's just how I feel especially considering how fast this kind of started.

Despite the fact that I do enjoy writing, even I have to stop and admit, ‘Yeah, that was a little cringe’. I’m not sure if you guys see it, but I think there’s a difference from when you’re reading a scene and writing it. Scenes that feel like they flow easily, actually require me to get up, stall for 30 mins, and then sit down to write it again, only to just skip to the next scene so I can avoid it. But hey, I get there in the end.

And I do like it, I really have a lot of ideas for it and I can’t wait to get to those ideas. It’s just that sometimes getting from point A to B is like climbing Mt.Everest. 

Now for your idea, I have to say the thought of a curse made to make them forget their darling forever is absolute torture to a yandere. Making them forget their darling completely tears whatever feeling of wholeness and life that they got, and replaces it back with that desperate agony. 

If they’ve been forced to completely forget them, then they’ll likely spend the rest of their lives trying to find their darlings again, but even if their darling is right in front of them they can’t feel the pull in their hearts. The yandere will likely go the way of serial yandere, attaching to whoever gives them the slight pull of their original darling desperate to feel that joy again.

That curse might be a freeing thing for darlings, because being completely forgotten from their yanderes minds is an utter blessing. With that curse, they can be freed if they desire to escape as their yandere can’t remember them being ‘the one’. 

[hantengudelulu]

My Hantengu Head Canons

1. He enjoys being the victim

Hantengu’s self-victimization is a coping mechanism, but also a source of emotional pleasure. When the clones bully him (especially Sekido or Urogi), he feels validated , like his suffering proves he’s innocent or special.

He mutters things like “See? I’m always the one they hurt… always me…” while curling up in corners.

He has a masochistic delight in being punished , it affirms his worldview that he’s always been wronged.

2. Cowardice masks intelligence

Despite his trembling and crying, he’s surprisingly cunning. He remembers people’s habits, pressure points in enemy psychology, and will whisper manipulations to clones from the shadows.

He secretly likes scheming, but pretends to be confused or scared to avoid accountability.

Muzan once gave him a rare compliment for setting up an ambush — Hantengu cried for days afterward, claiming it was “too much pressure.”

3. Dark corners and hidden spaces

He sleeps curled in closets, beneath floorboards, or under verandas, mumbling to himself.

Clones sometimes find him in bizarre places in mini form— tucked behind hanging scrolls or inside hollowed walls.

He becomes genuinely distressed when there's too much light or noise.

4. Folklore obsession

He has an entire hidden stash of books on tengu, oni, yokai, and punishment stories.

He loves tales where wrongfully accused spirits are avenged or misunderstood.

He reads old Buddhist ghost stories and cries during parts where the spirit is tormented unjustly — identifying deeply with them.

Occasionally references obscure tengu legends the others roll their eyes at.

5. Enjoys clone release

When his head is cut, he has a sick, delirious glee in feeling himself split apart.

The moment of beheading is orgasmic in a spiritual sense — cathartic and freeing.

He’ll internally giggle or moan softly, “Here they come… my precious selves…”

6. Avoids eating directly

Despite being the main body, Hantengu avoids eating humans unless absolutely necessary.

He finds the smell, the chewing, the visceral heat overwhelming.

Leaves the task to his clones (especially Urogi and Karaku), but will suck the blood from a finger or lick scraps off the ground when alone.

It’s a power thing too — if the clones eat and grow strong, he feels safe under them.

7. Zohakuten and Aizetsu are gentler

Zohakuten sees him like a flawed, pitiful father , annoying, but his responsibility to protect. He scolds the others for being too cruel: “He’s pathetic, but he’s ours.”

Aizetsu sometimes mutters soft reassurances, or holds his hand during panic episodes , but only when the others aren’t looking.

Hantengu clings to both, sometimes hiding behind them literally.

8. He’s obsessed with guilt

Keeps long lists in his mind of wrongs done to him. Will whisper them aloud at night like prayers.

Might have ritualistic behavior like scratching tally marks into wood, counting the number of times he's been insulted.

9. Muzan intimidates him more than anyone

Not just out of loyalty, but pure creeping terror. If he senses Muzan’s presence, he flees immediately or curls up in fetal position.

Muzan is the only one he never tries to lie to.

11. Secretly the most skilled and attentive in bed (alongside Urami)

Everyone assumes Karaku is the master of pleasure — loud, cocky, confident , but he’s all flash. Meanwhile, Hantengu and Urami are quiet, focused, and surprisingly attuned to their partners.

Hantengu’s hypersensitivity and emotional instability actually make him exquisitely responsive to others’ bodies and moods — he notices subtle changes in breath, heartbeat, tremble.

He’ll worship his partner's body like they’re a deity — murmuring reverent things between kisses like “Don’t hurt me… let me serve… let me make you forget…”

He craves approval and connection, so he gives everything, often bringing a partner to ecstasy repeatedly before even seeking anything for himself.

12. Can handle multiple lovers with eerie stamina

In brothels with multiple women,, he becomes multi-limbed, highly dexterous, and eerily graceful. Silent, patient, and tireless — like a demon spider weaving pleasure instead of death.

He uses his fear aura in reverse, flooding partners with adrenaline and arousal — a unique, addictive rush.

Women describe Hantengu like this:

"He begged like a dog, but then he touched me like he was reading a holy book. I came undone before he even finished asking if I was okay."

Karaku HATES this revelation

The clones once overheard a courtesean whispering, “Honestly, Karaku’s just a tease. Hantengu-san is…” ... and Karaku lost his mind for three days straight.

Sekido taunts him with it when bored: “The main body outperformed you again, huh?”

Karaku tries to reclaim dominance through sheer performance but lacks the emotional insight and submissive devotion that makes Hantengu unforgettable.

Out of all the clones (besides Urami in his giant state), Hantengu has the biggest dick.

[gloomsday]

Upon rewatching episode three, I noticed something. It seems like Keefe is almost faking it a bit at that little food outing they had. Like he’s smiling, almost surreal and looking around a lotand trying to join the conversation but having a difficult time adding something of real worth, so then he backtracks and seeks he’s comfort touch in Kelvin. Hopefully I’m wrong but that’s how it sort of read to me and it just made me sad that he feels he still can’t be himself or feels that he still has to prove his worth to be there.

oooh this is super interesting to me... we haven't seen him interact with the family too much yet since he and kelvin got together to know for sure how he feels around them. i think this upcoming episode will give us some more insight, but with what we have so far, your take is super valid and could be the correct read! however, i have a different take on the scene you're referring to.

i was super proud of him for contributing twice during the family get together—namely, the "mini michael jacksons" and "squirt yurts" comments. the fact that he contributed at all felt like huge progress to me and signified a level of comfort compared to the deeply awkward scenes in season three when he shows up at eli's house during the gemstone sibling abduction (or really any other time he's been around the family in the past). the "squirt yurts" comment was made directly to judy, and she (and everyone minus jesse and amber, of course) responded very positively to the jab at jesse's prayer pods. i took that as a big win.

kelvin also seemed very content to let keefe talk freely, which we haven't really seen much of before; we've seen kelvin act embarrassed of the things keefe has said around his family, god squad, and the youth group. at times he has tried to minimize or contradict keefe's comments, which always made me so sad. but i haven't gotten that vibe at all from him in season four so far (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) so that's what i mostly picked up on during that scene. it all felt mostly positive to me!

that said, there were definitely some moments where keefe seemed more meek/uncomfy, but i believe they were when kelvin started ripping into jesse. keefe doesn't seem to know how to handle confrontation too well and it felt like he was trying to rein in kelvin a little during those moments to keep the peace—patting his knee, smiling awkwardly to defuse tension, etc.

but i guess to that point, keefe will always be awkward, and i think he'll always be somewhat nervous around the gemstone family, especially from the context of being an official gemstone WAG now. but hopefully he's starting to feel more and more like a gemstone, because he absolutely is one in spirit and will be one in name soon enough (⁠ ⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥́‿⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀⁠)