#i’ll use winnie as base. remember i almost did it but there’s no good red hair options in base cc

[soloavengers]

OUGH when i go home i shall stop procrastinating making pawn Elwynn/Winnie like as she looked when her OH Arisen summoned her

[fanaticfangirl001]

Like Real People Do Ch 3: Ex- Best Friends

Author's note: Oof don't hate me guys.

@kissofvenom922

@p3nny4urth0ught5

Winnie carries her laptop to the kitchen and sets it down on the bar. Grabbing the eggs for her omelet, she resumes the footage captured from a small drone nicknamed “Red Wing”. She cracks an egg one handed into the bowl then another. For an Avenger Falcon doesn’t really have the best cyber-security on his drone. Maybe she would get the chance to fix that if she ever did meet him. She dices onions and bits of ham when Redwing spots a warehouse just outside of a heavily wooded area. Satisfied with the few screenshots of the area and a geotag, Winnie mixes the eggs and toppings for her omelet together. As she cooks the eggs, Winnie sprinkles in generous amounts of cheese. She sighs and dials the new number on her phone.

As she waits for the recipient to pick up Winnie sits at her dining room table and starts eating her breakfast.

“Hi, Is this Joaquin Torres, don’t panic. I’m the security breach. I work with a formerly avenger adjacent super powered individual. “Winnie greets.

“Uh yes,who are you and who is your super powered individual?” Joaquin asks, trying to keep her on the phone to track her location.

“Call me W, and um Bucky Barnes.” Winnie answers carefully stabbing a piece of egg.

“The Winter Soldier? Joaquin zero ins on the IP address, placing her in Sweden.

“He’s not that person anymore.”Winnie adds.

“Your IP address puts you in Sweden, something tells me you're not Swedish. “Joaquin smirks.

“I like Swedish soap operas, I can’t very well get them here.” Winnie laughs.

“VPN, that’s smart. Joaquin says.

“Thank you.” Winnie can’t help but be a little charmed by this man. There’s something about his voice.

“ I’m almost a little impressed. “ Joaquin admits.

“ Would you be impressed if I said I’m watching Red Wing.” Winnie gloats

“ You hacked into Sam’s tech. He’s not gonna like that. “ Joaquin warns.

“Not maliciously, I just need a few questions answered.” Winnie defends herself.

“ Shoot. “ Joaquin replies.

“What are the flag smashers after?”Winnie asks.

“They think the world was better during the blip.” Joaquin answers with the few bits of information he has.

“But why? I’m also trying to figure out why they pin their location, after a few hours it disappears but I’ve saved a few on my map. No real pattern, just places where people need help. Could be anywhere after returning.” Winnie questions.

“That’s the million dollar question. I’m meeting with Sam on Friday.” Joaquin adds, “ Red Wing as you can see found something in Munich.

“Hotspot of activity.” Winnie muses.

“Bingo.” Joaquin snaps his fingers.

“ It’ll be hard to convince Buck,” Winnie pauses then adds,” But if worst comes to worst I’ll go by myself. Ex-shield after all. “

“You were with S.H.I.E.L.D Like Peggy Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D. ?” Joaquin asks, shocked.

“Or Clint Barton, Or Natasha Romanoff.” Winnie names a few more.

“Woah.” Joaquin says.

“See you Friday.” Winnie ends the call.

Winnie sighs and puts the plate in the sink to wash later. If she’s going to Munich on Friday, she’ll need her old gear. She walks to her room and digs through the closet until she pulls out a large waterproof rubber bin. It’s everything she took when she left S.H.I.E.L.D. Winnie pulls off the tote’s lid and takes out the top most piece of clothing. The tactical overalls, a pair of black bullet proof overalls with several pockets along the front and back, including two gun holsters on each side, a place to hold a lightweight enforced steel whip: another invention of her’s.

She sets the overalls aside, and opens a small box. Inside is a tactical ring. The ring itself has a sharp side to be used in a fight, it contains a small piece of flint for fire starting, a compass, and a vial of poison. The buzzing and vibrating of her phone pulls her out of the going through the box. Another text from Sharon, Winnie deletes it without reading. She puts on the ring and remembers her first mission with Sharon. It was a simple gun smuggler recovery. The two worked together perfectly. Sisters from different misters, was constantly used to describe the two. After a few years of missions, Winnie noticed the acknowledgement and accomplishments were awarded to Sharon. Sharon is the niece of the afamed Peggy Carter, it made sense that she would be praised but it slowly began to chip away at her. The worst had to be after the medal of honor ceremony only a few years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Flash back)

“The Secretary of Defense would like to bestow the medal of honor to Sharon Carter, for the retrieval and restoration of several Hydra communications. Without these SHIELD and Captain America would not be able to capture the rogue hydra base in the warehouse in Rhode Island.” Director Fury states.

The Secretary of Defense pins the medal on Sharon’s lapel as the room abrupts into thunderous applause. Winnie watches from the sideline with a polite glass of champagne, she doesn’t drink but will certainly toast a friend, even if the saving the file and decoding was all her. Sharon just served as her cover during the mission. She takes a deep breath and pushes those thoughts down. She’s here to celebrate her friend’s accomplishment. Winnie looks around to find Sharon at the after party being held for her.

“Winnie,” Sharon hugs her, “ Do you want to get some drinks with us and some of the guys from research?”

“I don’t drink, you know that.” Winnie lets go of her.

“Lighten up, you’ve been burning the candle at both ends. “Sharon insists.

“I like the work.” Winnie shrugs.

“Fine, you’ll get out of drinks this time, but get some sleep tonight.” Sharon says before being dragged off by a group of guys.

“I will. I promise.” Winnie shouts to her before leaving for the apartment.

(End flash back)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the ceremony Winnie put in a request to change divisions. Director Fury accepted the change to Research and Development. The next thing she pulls out of her box are the rocket boots. Many of Winnie’s inventions became the punchline of all the research and Development department’s jokes. The Rocket Boots, were the most egregious. As the Avengers developed, because of the hostile working environment they’re gear stayed relatively the same. No innovations made with the gear from Winnie’s perspective. She did try to design weapons for Sharon but that didn’t go well either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Flash back)

“Sharon, you have to see this.” Winnie insists dragging Sharon to the training room.

“ Winnie, this is the first time you’ve been excited about something, what is it?” Sharon asks letting herself be dragged.

“This.” Winnie pulls out from her back, a light weight steel whip.

“A whip?” Sharon’s eyebrows narrow.

“Yeah, it’s lightweight steel and with a little extra training.” Winnie starts rambling about the implications.

“Winnie. Focus. I need practical weapons...like guns.”

“Okay practical. I got you. What about this?” Winnie holds a small metal sphere.

“What is it?”

“I call it a black out bomb, it short circuits and fries electrical systems in a surrounding area.” Winnie explains then adds “ This could help take down so many Hydra bases quicker.”

“There’s not a problem with our speed.” Sharon says.

“Well no, I just thought this would be safer.” Winnie shrugs starting to shut down.

“Anything else?” Sharon asks.

“Taser grenade.” Winnie suggests.

“No.” Sharon says.

“Dagger boomerangs.” Winnie suggests, this time almost hopeful.

“No.” Sharon’s voice is flat and annoyed.

“Rocket boots.” Winnie holds up the boots.

“No.”

“But the boots, “ Winnie shakes the boots.

(End of Flashback)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Winnie gently puts down all her personalized weapons in their respective pockets in the overalls. She puts the boots by the door, knowing they will be the most useful. She’ll show the world just how great her own inventions can be. Winnie looks down at her phone, another text from Sharon sits unanswered. She sighs and deletes it once again, still hurt from the ending of their friendship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Flash Back)

Winnie looks over her shoulder in the Research lab and relaxes when she realizes everyone else is out to lunch and or working out. She sets up her laptop and begins a bit of light reading on a newly created file that was just out of her clearance level. She squints reading the money transactions and leadership positions. Is this some sort of bribery or hush money. Winnie dives deeper and downloads the files. There’s no way this is possible. Hydra has infiltrated Shield.

Winnie quickly types out a letter of resignation and emails it to the office of Director Fury. She takes her flash drive and laptop to the apartment to show Sharon.

“ I have something to tell you, but you can’t ask how i know.” Winnie runs in the apartment and locks the door behind her.

“Woah, calm down! That’s an awful way of introducing something.” Sharon raises a hand in front of her.

“ Yeah well it’s bad news.” Winnie takes a few breaths.

“ Shoot.” Sharon says sitting down.

“Hydra is in SHIELD.” Winnie blurts out.

“How do you know this?” Sharon asks in shock.

“ I can’t tell you. You’ll be in danger if you know. Hell, I’m probably in danger right now.” Winnie rambles getting more anxious.

“I need some proof. Give me your laptop.” Sharon insists on trying to take the laptop.

“No! They’ll kill me and you. I can’t show you, just trust me.” Winnie holds her laptop closer to her.

“You sound paranoid and on edge.

“Sharon, just trust me. I’m not making it up. I saw contracts and money transactions.”

“Winnie, when’s the last time you’ve gotten a full eight hours.

“That’s not important. I know what I saw.

“Winnie, what do you want me to do?

“I want you to believe me so we can save the damn Sharon Show.

“ The what?

“I-I didn’t mean that, I meant SHIELD.”

“Is that really what you think about SHIELD?

“You can’t say I’m wrong. I’m just as good an agent as you are, and whenever we get back it’s like I don’t exist.”

“Is this about the medal of honor?”

“No it’s not but you told me to get the files and you covered my back. I got the files, and restored them. You got the credit for saving and restoring the files. Your manicured hands never touched a laptop. It took me a week straight of decoding.”

“ Winnie, you’re overreacting. SHIELD is safe.

“I put in my resignation. I’m not staying to get killed and watch this ship sink.

“Okay here’s my theory, I can’t tell you why but maybe you’re the Hydra traitor.”

“Fuck you!” Winnie screams at her while packing quickly. “I spent five years working alongside you, and you think I’d do that! I’m leaving. Call me when you’re not a bitch!”

In Winnie’s fast paced packing she left her flash drive with the evidence with Sharon. Everyday after Sharon found out Winnie was right, she carried around that flash drive just for the off chance that she could return it to her ex-friend.

[hellogoodbye741]

All the book reviews I should have been doing in real time, but imma piece of garbage(tm)

Please ignore this second (or possibly more if i don’t have enough space) long ass post

Reading Lolita in Tehran:

I really enjoyed this book. I’m not a huge fan of a lot of nonfiction writing because of how monotonous they can be, but this wasn’t like that. She really told a story about her (the author) and a bunch of young woman in Tehran reading Lolita and other banned books, and it really resonated with me.

:)

Hidden Figures:

I had been told several times that this book was not going to be what I expected and that I should read the children’s version of it instead because that was more like the movie. Should have listened. I enjoyed the book, but it focused way more on the scientific side of things instead of the more story-line aspect of history. Not saying that it wasn’t great and a fascinating read into such pivotal people in America’s timeline, it just wasn’t my thing.

:/

Virals:

I had been putting off reading this series by Kathy Reichs because it wasn’t the Tempe Brennan character, and therefore I did not care. BOY WAS THAT A WRONG OPINION. This book (and the subsequent ones I have since read) are amazing! They were written with teens in mind, but you can enjoy them at any level. They are chocked full of sci-fi fun that keeps you begging for more and more. I say this about very few novels, but I would totally read again.

:)

Noir:

I absolutely adore Christopher Moore books. I have read several of his, and have never found any at fault. This one, however, wasn’t up to par. It was okay, but not like his other works. I couldn’t get into as much, and it wasn’t as funny. The story is written very much like a noir-style movie, so I could find no fault in that, but the twist at the middle/end was very unexpected and left me confused. I think I would have to give it a read and more pay attention to more finite details to make sense of it.

:/

Number One Chinese Restaurant:

I was expecting to really enjoy this book, but honestly, it kinda sucked. I didn’t really like any of the characters, and never felt any sympathy for any of them even when they were going through struggles. The writing was a little choppy, and the constant POV change was jarring. It was a little bit of a struggle to get through, not gonna lie.

:/

The House That Lou Built:

I know this book is meant for younger audiences, but I absolutely adored it. Like I have nothing else to say, it was adorable and I will protect it with my life.

:)

Crazy Rich Asians:

I enjoyed this book. I’m not a huge fan of multiple POVs, but the way they did it in this book wasn’t bad at all. I really want to see the movie and see how it compares.

:)

Da Vinci Code:

Tis a classic I have read several times over. Dan Brown got it going on.

:)

Post Mordem:

I love the Kathy Reichs books and have read several of them (unfortunately not in order).  This is the first book in the series, and I really liked seeing how it all got started. Kathy Reichs tries to make sure to make the science aspect of the book both for the idiots and the people who know their shit, which is great. Gotta represent my North Carolina ladiesss

:)

77 Shadow Street:

This book was all kinds of fucked up. Every time I thought I got the plot and what was going on, they fucked me over again. I said “what the fuck” at least once every chapter.

:(

Raisin in the Sun:

Don’t know how it took me so long to read this play. Absolutely adored the characters and the storyline, and the resolution at the end was bittersweet. Would love to see it performed and get the true experience and emotion.

:)

House on Mango Street:

I have read this book a handful of times too, and I enjoy it every single time. The book is short and sweet, and the poetry graceful and moving. Will probably read again and again in the future.

:)

Whipping Boy:

I first read this in the 4th grade and it has resonated with me ever since. It takes like an hour to read, but it is filled with so much in the meantime. All about dat bourgeoise bullshitttttt and how it can be rectified.

:)

In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson:

Haven’t read this since elementary school, and had forgotten how sweet this story is. The trials the young girl goes through and how she triumphs, in the end, leaves me with the biggest smile on my face.

:)

Red Scarf Girl:

Also been a while since last reading this book. It’s a beautiful and tragic story about the rise of communism and the struggles that everyone in their country faced. I think it was based on a true story but honestly can’t remember. Would definitely read again.

:)

Journey of Little Charles:

This was an endearing ‘growing up’ historical novel. I enjoyed it.

:)

Ivy Aberdeen’s Letters to the World:

This was absolutely GREAT. Such a beautiful way to explore and introduce the LGBTQIA+ community to younger audiences.

:)

Children of Blood and Bone:

I really enjoyed this book, and want to read the rest of the series too. It was a very immersive story that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the whole story.

:)

Chaos/Code/Exposure:

I’m just going to do these three as one since they’re all part of the same series. I really enjoy the Virals series, and each time you think there’s nowhere else to go, Reichs and her son introduce something you would have never expected.

:)

Sing, unburied, sing:

Thought I was gonna like this one more than I did. It just kinda lagged for me and was hard to get into.

:/

Lucky Broken Girl:

I thought this was a beautiful and heartbreaking book (and true story) about a girl who is confined to her bed practically paralyzed. It was nice to watch her get through her struggles and come out on top in the end.

:)

Finding Langston:

This was a very cute story about a poc country boy going to the city and discovering himself through a love of books, and though it is meant for younger audiences, I enjoyed it immensely.

:)

The Dollar Kids:

Another cute story meant for kids about finding one's self and working through trauma in a way that children can understand.

:)

Winnie’s Great War:

It’s the absolutely true story of the English army adopting a bear in the 40s told through the POV of the bear. I do not need to say more.

:)

Ballet Shoes:

I’m a sucker for three young girls following their dreams and one of them being ballet. Yaas queen.

:)

Song for a Whale:

An absolutely stunning tale of following your dreams and fighting through all adversities to get there. Also, the main character is deaf, and being HOH myself, loved having the representation (even if the story if for younger children).

:)

It’s Not a Perfect World, but I’ll take It:

Told from the perspective and real-life story of a girl living with autism, and some things that can help others learn how to accept that they are just like anyone else, and some things on how to make life a bit easier. Loved seeing life through that perspective, even if it was only for a little while.

:)

Rapunzel’s Revenge:

Loved this comic’s twist on the classic tale of Rapunzel. Rapunzel takes her life into her own hands and kicks ass

:)

Ghost Doll and Jasper:

This was a perfect mix between cute and creepy. A combination most would find weird, but I loved it!

:)

Color Purple:

I’ve been hearing about this book for as long as I could remember, but never at any point had anyone ever talked about the plot?? It wasn’t what I expected at all, but it really made me feel something,

:)

We Will Not Be Silent:

NEVER AGAIN MEANS NOW, NEVER AGAIN MEANS NOW

:)

The Woman Who Smashed Codes:

A fascinating read, but on par with Hidden Figures where there was a lot that I just didn’t understand.

:/

The Lowlands:

It took me almost 3/4 of the way into the book to actually get into the plot and understand what was going on. Maybe another read-through might help, but eh.

:/

1776:

I love history, but the sheer length of this book and the unending quality about it was #strugglebus

:/

Born a Crime:

Nobody should be born illegal, nobody should be illegal period. Trevor Noah, I’m sorry a rude ass country did that to you.

:)

Stalking Jack the Ripper:

Yooooooo, read this shit!

:)

Winnie the Pooh:

You already know who it is

:)

Eragon:

It has been so long since I have read this series. I had forgotten how long the books were, but #worthit

:)

Titus Andronicus:

Did not understand it while I was reading it. Saw it performed the next day and was like “ohhhhhhh, i get it now”

:/

How to Train Your Dragon:

Nothing like the movie, at all. Still cute tho.

:)

Howl’s Moving Castle:

Was just like the movie, except even more. There was a whole other plot point that just added to the concept of Howl that made it even better.

:)

Other Words from Home:

Beautiful story of a young girl moving halfway across the world and dealing with the hardships that come with it.

:)

Hunting Prince Dracula:

Do you like UST between two dork scientist badasses??? READ DAT SHIT

:)

Sweep:

This was both incredibly sweet, and absolutely sad, while also throwing in some kill the capitalist bourgeoise and I loved it.

:)

Errant Prince:

Four words-

Gay.

Trans.

Wizard.

Knight.

:)

Diary of Anne Frank:

You get so enamored with the girl she was, that you forget that she never got to the be the girl she could have been.

:’(

The Help:

EAT

MY

SHIT

:)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf:

Not a big fan of the random and multiple rape scenes, and the plot was hard to follow.

:/

Hunger Makes me a Modern Girl:

It was a good, short read.

:)

In Another time:

I got straight and happy couple baited and I was denied but in a beautiful way so #allowed.

:)

A Place For Us:

Another one where the plot was a little hard to follow, but I actually enjoyed it nonetheless.

:)

Sun is Also a Star:

Thought I was gonna be denied my happy ending, turned it around on the last page. Hell yuss.

:)

Prodigal Summer:

Thought I was gonna enjoy it more since I too am from rural Appalachia. Nah

:/

Zombie:

Alright, okay, a little fucked up, okay, okay, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED, the end.

:/

Fox8:

I cried at work reading this????

:)

Fire and Fury:

Not my thing, nice to see what’s up tho

:/

Song of Achilles:

GAAAAAAY

and

TRAGGGGIICCC

:)

Genesis Begins Again:

No matter what anyone says, you’re beautiful

:)

[transienturl]

Multiples of 8. Actually... to hell with it. Nonmultiples of 8.

Wow. You sure ask a lot of questions considering that you don’t even know who I am, person I don’t know and have never met before. Surely you don’t want a 3000 word post, right?

Oh, whoops. 

21. What are your bad habits?I’m going to edit this in later.

22. Where would you like to travel?I wish I was a polyglot so I could travel to more than ~15% of the world and meaningfully interact with it.

23. Do you have trust issues?Maybe? That sounds like the kind of question I’d like to ask a mental health professional. I feel, though, like the idea of having trust issues would have to be a common thread through how one interacts with a lot of people. Since I don’t interact with a lot of people, I think trying to make a general statement about how I would if I did is mostly guesswork.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?The area that hurts when I have a cluster headache :| Besides things that fall into the medical issue category… meh, all of it is fine. If I could have a few transformations, which I would very much like, then I’d probably keep all of the bits I currently have for at least one form each. It’d be very mix-and-match. Except facial hair maybe; I think I could probably do without that.

26. What do you do when you wake up?Lately? Complain abut my headache.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?No.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I just wanted an excuse to use this picture.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?No.

30. Do you ever want to get married?Sure? I guess so? On the one hand, it sounds nice, but on the other, it sounds like a lot of work if you do the whole party thing.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?Very much so.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

 m aqrecus

34. Do you play sports? What sports?No. The closest I’ve come to playing sports is… probably going to a math competition.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?For the most part, I would rather live without TV than live with TV.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?How is this even a question? Is there anyone who has not done this? I call shenanigans.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?Hm. That depends a lot on the situation, but for the most part, I don’t find silences awkward.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Almost every dream I can find that I’ve written down is populated by (inaccurate) real people expys. One of them had the protagonists of Spy Kids. In one, I invented a family friend named Celeste (she was Chinese). Another only contains the notes “black female tech enthusiast” but I couldn’t remember what events were occurring with that characer when I woke up. If I had to guess, I’d say the generic female protagonists in my dreams tend to have shoulder-length brown hair, but that’s probably me projecting a mental picture onto a complete lack of remembered details or the details not existing in the dream.

Oh: one girl in my dream was at an alt-right rally with a gun, and she shot me by accident. She was super shaken up and afraid, and I forgave her. That sure would make an interesting… something.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Ones that sell computer bits, with employees who don’t try to sell you them incompetently. Oh, wait, I’ve never experienced that.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Everyone? No. I don’t know what they’d be, but considering the vast range of possible scenarios, I’m positive there are a bunch where someone absolutely would not.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?Nothing. How quiet or talkative I am changes completely based on my best guess at what’s appropriate.

43. Do you smile at strangers?If they’re smiling. Or if they’re kids.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Hm… that’s a tough one. I feel like the bottom of the ocean would be ultimately more interesting, but I like vast views and I’m a sucker for spacecraft.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?If I don’t, I’ll get a headache.

46. What are you paranoid about?

Fire/explosions

Sharp items

Alcohol/drugs

Data loss

People getting upset with me

Data loss again

Embarrassment

Running out of battery

Failure

Complacency

People thinking I’m a fake-intellectual snob who does stuff like answer simple questions with “complacency”

No, seriously, data loss; don’t write anything in a form in a web browser, guys

Republicans

47. Have you ever been high?No.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Most things that I hope nobody finds out about are things I haven’t done recently that I should (e.g. hygiene).

Also, I’m almost at 5k words worth of… listen, see question 9.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Good question. I don’t remember.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?Well… if “someone else” includes “a better version of myself,” then absolutely, yes, every moment I’m alive. If it involves leaving myself behind completely… then honestly, no, not particularly. I have no doubts that being someone else could be more enjoyable and productive than being me, but a) that’s not who I am, and b) it’d be impossible to vet a potential choice. I can’t know enough about someone to be 100% convinced I’d want to be them, even with their full cooperation.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Just one thing? Damn, um…

How about this: I’d add a bunch of experiences to my past where I overcame failure and adversity and where opening myself up to new experiences resulted in success. Hopefully that’d work? And it’d empower me to fix the rest of the shit I want to change (and the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom etc etc) in a constructive fashion that I could then help others with?

53. Favourite makeup brand?n/a.

54. Favourite store?Capitalism is flawed. That’s not to say it’s categorically worse than any particular alternative, however, so um… 

Uh, screw it. The Cards Against Humanity store? I’ve never bought anything from them, but it seems like a unique take on… stores.

55. Favourite blog?Do the annotations under each post of the webcomic Leftover Soup count as a blog?

57. Favourite food?I’m going to answer this in a separate post.

58. Last thing you ate?Corn chips.

59. First thing you ate this morning?Corn chips.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won a poetry contest in high school. It was the result of a writing exercise of using your non-dominant hand to activate different pathways in your brain. I recommend it.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope. I went on medical leave, then dropped out. Then I dropped out a bunch more times without the medical leave part.

62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.

63. Ever been in love? Mhmm.

65. Are you hungry right now?A little.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I take issue with the premise.

Actually, I guess I take issue with the premise in multiple ways… I have no idea if anyone whom I think of as a friend thinks of me the same way in return, so the answer might well be “not applicable.”

67. Facebook or Twitter?Well… they serve different purposes. I’d rather have them both (just without algorithmic feeds or ads-that-look-like-content.)

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Again, they serve different purposes.

69. Are you watching tv right now?No.

70. Names of your bestfriends? See 66.

71. Craving something? What?Community. Specifically, a community of learners, as John Green would say.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yep!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?My childhood ones are in boxes. Probably 50+.

75. Favourite animal?To be? Human. Presumably.

To have as a pet? Maybe cat, but to be honest, I bet I’d be just as into lots of other pet types.

Overall? I couldn’t pick one.

76. What colour is your underwear?Plaid.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla, if I had to pick. Chocolate is less versatile.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Banana, strawberry, cream, vanilla. Plenty I’m probably forgetting. I remember liking Cherry Garcia.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Red.

81. Favourite tv show?The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. (Also, see 119.)

82. Favourite movie?I always go with Spirited Away. (Also, see 119.)

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?n/a

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?n/a

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?n/a

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Uhh… Squirt, maybe? I guess? I dunno… it wasn’t a movie full of strong characters, in my opinion.

87. First person you talked to today?My mom.

89. Name a person you hate?Hate is a strong word to apply to a person, as opposed to a person’s actions. I find it hard not to try and understand why people do bad things, and subsequently find it hard to hate people for taking actions that I understand the reasoning for. Sometimes that doesn’t quite work, however. Thus: incompetent mental health professionals. Not that I don’t have sympathy for them, but still.

90. Name a person you love?

I just wanted an excuse to use this picture twice.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Go find me an abusive ICE agent and I’ll consider it. I’m sure they have their reasons for what they do, and I definitely wouldn’t do it, but like, damn, people, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

92. In a fight with someone?Mitch McConnell. Vote, people.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?One. Or rather, one pair. Does that make it two? Pants are weird.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Probably around 5.

95. Last movie you watched?…I don’t actually remember.

97. Favourite actor?Uhhh… hm. I can’t think of any, like, film or stage actors I even have an opinion on. Alton Brown is actually an actor, come to think of it. Not super high on him as a person, necessarily, but he’s certainly damn good at his job. Tom Hiddleston as Loki is pretty remarkable, too.

98. Do you tan a lot?I think I tan an average amount? I’m not really sure. What’s sun?

99. Have any pets?Nope!

100. How are you feeling?Tired.

101. Do you type fast?Nope. I have to look at the keyboard and I only use 6 fingers total. Yes, I am probably the tech enthusiast who is the worst typist.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?Yes.

103. Can you spell well?For the most part. Actually… I’m not sure what the average is for spelling ability, so could be yes, could be no. I think I can tell when the vast majority of words are spelled incorrectly, but I’m accustomed to spellcheck/google so my ability to correct them without help is limited.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?I’ve been to parties where fires were made, so I guess so? There might be more to it than that, I dunno.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?When I was younger, and pining over the idea of ever having any relationship, I thought about it a lot, wondering what it’d be like. In the sort of morbid curiosity way, y’know what I mean? Well, it sucks just as much as you figured, younger self.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?Nope, I’d like to, though.

108. What should you be doing?

Working on my fanfic (at 7k words so far!)

Finishing a bunch of disk imaging stuff to make my backups more robust

Signing up to volunteer at a nonprofit that trains the homeless and disadvantaged to prepare food, helping them get jobs and feeding homeless shelters

Going back to college

Political activism

Seeing an oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth probably removed

Finishing a lot of interesting blog post drafts

Deleting my folder of nsfw fiction drafts

Therapy

Recording some let’s plays, and maybe working toward like a mini podcast or something

Closing some of the 195 browser tabs I have open

109. Is something irritating you right now?Yes: that those who can teach the lessons of how to live a fulfilling and productive life are not effectively connected with those who need those lessons.

And also around 700 other things.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Hurt… where? I’m going to go with “no,” on the principle that I don’t feel it quite that way.

111. Do you have trust issues?See question 23.

113. What was your childhood nickname?n/a

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yep.

115. Do you play the Wii?No, I don’t have any consoles.

116. Are you listening to music right now?No.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Sure. It’s pretty good. Cook the whole chicken.

118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes. The real stuff, preferably. (I’m ethnically Chinese, if you weren’t aware. See also: my next post, where I list my favorite foods.)

119. Favourite book?Are webcomics books? No? Damn.

I’m going to pull the same thing I always do with the favorite movie and favorite tv show questions and pick a work that I haven’t experienced since half my life ago, but remember sufficiently to consider changing that: Summerland, by Michael Chabon.

Edit from later: Actually, see question 150 for the real answer.

121. Are you mean?I don’t think so. I feel like I might be vindictive, acerbic, and sometimes downright hostile, though.

122. Is cheating ever okay?That depends how you define “okay.” Okay is a funny word. It can mean as little as “not the end of the world,” in which case sure, or as much as “perfectly fine,” in which case… I think it’s a no, by definition. If a behavior was 100% fine, I don’t think anyone would call it cheating.

This applies to multiple definitions of “cheating.”

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?If… there was a reason to, sure, I imagine so.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?No. I believe in attraction at first sight that seamlessly transitions into love, but no.

125. Do you believe in true love?I have no idea what most people take “true love” to mean, so honestly, I’m going to go with no. Or, I guess, I look at the term as making a distinction between true and false love? That doesn’t really make the question make sense.

126. Are you currently bored?No, to the contrary, I have something I want to work on (fanfic) but I’m too tired to do it, which seems like the opposite of bored.

127. What makes you happy?

The happiness of others.

Making things. That can be fiction, words of analysis, visualizations of data (I have many spreadsheets), image edit memes, the occasional video, Twitter commentary, or, yes, ask posts.

Well-designed and/or well-engineered, elegant things.

Efficiency.

Justice. (By which I actually mean support for the wronged, not punishment for the wrongdoer. The second may or may not be warranted, but either way I don’t take particular pleasure in it.)

Forgetting about the reasons I should not be happy, for a little while. (This is not a good thing, but I cannot deny it is a true answer to the question.)

129. What your zodiac sign?Pisces.

130. Do you like subway?I like subways. I think Subway food is fine.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Again, opposite gender isn’t exactly a thing.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Anyone who read my answer to question 10.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Enough—Anne Hills

134. Can you count to one million?No, Jimmy, it’s “may you count to one million.”

Wait, what?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?“Nah, I really think I’m neurotypical.” To myself, about twice a day.

137. How tall are you?5½ feet or so.

138. Curly or Straight hair?What do I have? Straight. What would I pick to have? Straight, I guess. What would I pick in someone I was attracted to (which I presume is the intention of the question)? Whatever they liked/looked good with.

139. Brunette or Blonde?Either! (Well, neither, for myself.)

140. Summer or Winter?There is no darkness without the dawn etc etc.

141. Night or Day?There is no darkness without the dawn etc etc.

142. Favourite month?Can’t say I have a preference.

143. Are you a vegetarian?I really probably should be, considering I have moral and practical objections to eating meat. At the moment, though, no. 

145. Tea or Coffee?Neither/tea.

146. Was today a good day?It hasn’t really started yet.

147. Mars or Snickers?I can’t remember eating either.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.

149. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes. They can do anything they put their minds to!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The most beautiful things in life are unexpected, Clara.

- What the Moon Saw, by Laura Resau

…oh. Wait. I take it back: that’s my favorite book. I had forgotten about that book.

[gencottraux]

Here is another scene from the someday memoir of my summer of 1972. It’s not complete and needs some work, but I’ll never forget stopping at a diner in Winnie, Texas.  We were so hot and miserable. Texas seemed to go on forever.

I call this fictionalized autobiography;  it’s based on truth but the truth as I remember it from the perspective of a ten-year old girl who lived it 45 years ago. I might have the timelines and details and confused, and some of it might be as I dreamed it rather than as it was.

Many of my memories are about food. I was a chubby kid (still am!), getting my weight issues honestly through genetics and my mother. Plus a love of sweet and salty. My brother, at 14, could and did eat everything. “All you can eat” were his favorite words. My sister Ellen, hating being on the road and having to stop at gas station bathrooms and roadside diners, ate a lot of yogurt when she could get it and cottage cheese when she couldn’t. How I longed for greasy, salty, diner food! But it was made clear that I would be made miserable if I indulged.

     Fries versus cottage cheese.    

Years after the diner in Winnie, Texas, I read the short story “Full Count” in Elizabeth Berg’s book The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted and Other Small Acts of Liberation (2008), and Janey’s story was so familiar.

  Here’s mine. [text copyright 2017 Genevieve Cottraux]

I’ve lost track of what state we are in; maybe we are still in Texas. It seems to be Texas for days. My stomach growls. Even though we have an ice chest near my nest in the way back, Van has made it clear that snacking in the car pushes his buttons.

            “What, are you eating again? No wonder you’re chubby.” Of course, this is directed at me. Neither Steve nor Ellen is in the least chubby. Steve is a teenage boy, a bottomless pit of appetite, tall and skinny. Ellen at sixteen, lives on yogurt and Tab diet cola. Mom and Van smoke and drink up front, but we sit quietly in the back, hoping not to rock Van’s shaky boat.

            My stomach growls again. I can’t help myself. “Are we stopping for lunch soon? I’m really hungry.”

            Mom looks back at me, brows furrowed. Van doesn’t turn around, but exhales cigarette smoke with a big sigh.

            Texas heat, cigarette smoke and hunger are making me reckless. “I’m really hungry. Are we ever going to stop for lunch?”

            “Can’t you wait until dinner?”

            I stare at the back of Van’s scrawny neck and wish I was brave enough, or dumb enough, to aim a spitball at him.

            I don’t know if they are really hungry or feeling sorry for me, but Ellen and Steve both chime in, “We’re hungry, too. Let’s stop.”

            “It won’t take long; let’s pull over and get something,” my mother looks at Van, pleading for us. Van sighs again, outnumbered.

             He doesn’t speak, but I can tell he’s starting to simmer with annoyance. There’s a roadside diner not much farther down the highway. The parking lot is full of trucks with Texas license plates. The diner sign flashes, “Last chance to eat in Winnie, Texas.” I’ll take it.

            We file into the crowded but blissfully air-conditioned diner. A friendly, uniformed older waitress clears off a table for us and brings ice water. She smiles at me. I smile back, glad to see a friendly face on this endless, hot journey.

            Van orders black coffee. Mom follows suit. I know she wants cream in her coffee but Van has aimed a chubby remark or two at her, too. He rarely eats, living on cigarettes and black coffee alternating with whiskey.

            The motherly waitress looks to the three of us expectantly.

            “I’ll have a side of cottage cheese and ice tea, please.” Ellen looks down at the damp table and disdainfully picks up a spoon, inspecting it and then wiping it with a napkin. She hates being on the road.

            I’m being my usual indecisive self, fidgeting with the laminated menu, so Steve jumps in. “Cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake, please.” We are proper Southern children in our way, always putting in the please and thank you.

            My mouth waters and my stomach growls painfully. Oh, do I want what he’s having! Would a tuna sandwich and chips be less likely to attract Van’s attention?

            “Your turn, honey. What sounds good?”

            It all sounds good; that’s the problem.

            “Honey?”

            “The fruit plate, please.” I can’t look up at her.

            “Are you sure? Not many little girls order that; it’s usually their mamas.”

            “Yes, ma’am.”

            We wait for our food. Van relaxes, or what passes for it with him, lights a cigarette. I guess I’ve passed the test.

            My brother makes endless puns on the town name. “Winnie is hotter than poo” sends us into fits of laughter.

            The food arrives. I look longingly at my brother’s plate, cheese oozing out from the burger, as he pours red, silky ketchup on the fries. Ellen barely touches her cottage cheese. I pretend each bite of fruit is a greasy, salty fry.

            The waitress comes back, plates of cherry pie for all of us. “Couldn’t let these growing children leave without some of the best pie in town. On the house.” She looks at Mom and Van as she sets the plates around.

            “You’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t eat it.” She smiles at me and hands me a clean fork. I almost hope Van will call me Little Shit in front of this angel waitress as I take a bit of the best pie I have ever eaten.

  Today I was going to post the scene in which my mother marries Van, but went with Winnie, Texas instead. Maybe I am craving pie!

Next time. Or maybe something else, who knows. It’ll be the day I wrote whatever I wanted. To small acts of liberation!

The Best Pie in Winnie, Texas (from Just Call Me Little Shit) Here is another scene from the someday memoir of my summer of 1972. It's not complete and needs some work, but I'll never forget stopping at a diner in Winnie, Texas.