#i’ll update y’all if i lose my sanity or not

[thugbiscuits]

we have a semi busy night tonight at work and i’m dreaaaading the rush

[yung-notorious]

Hey queen!!!!! I just recently found you and I LOVE the way you write.. Do you have any fic recommendations with similar styles to yours?

heyy I’m not sure what my style is exactly to give you some recommendations!! if you could describe it more then I’d have something to go off. I have plenty to share ♡ tysm for reading my works btw!! 💕 are you looking for fun girlie vibes maybe?? I’ll come back to update this shortly with some pulls

🩷 recommendations

drugdealer boyfriend!gojo by @curseddollfaye

shopping sprees @ the mall w/ your bestie Utahime on your boyfriends dime + sweet moments with gojo

xo series by @gojotojis

you’re a college girl minding your business making money on the side as camgirl when choso approaches you asking for help.

420, we be burning series: plug!choso by @blkkizzat

you’re a sorority girl tied up in a situationship with choso who’s the campus local plug. you’re trying your hardest to keep things lowkey, but his feelings for you leads him caught time and time again in your spiderweb that’s greeklife.

wasted summer by bratmactavish on a03

college!gojo a known campus playboy thinks he’s about to run game on you, but you know how to keep it playa too and you even got a few skeletons in your closet 👀

jealous friend!sukuna by @4pfsukuna

just cus yall tight don’t mean he can talk to you any type of way, you don’t play that jealousy shit either. You told Sukuna that gojo is just a friend, so what he is so pressed for? Whatever it is y’all got going on, y’all friends are fed up and are pleading to be taking out the group chat!!

B.A.S by @4pfsukuna

you’re smoking hot and down for whatever, running between geto and gojo on the low. they’ll just have to duke it out if they can’t agree to share. oh and their smart ass mouthes? they can’t keep ‘em unless they being used for munchin

sneaky link by @jazzthatonewriterchick

“You’re a stressed-out mom and college professor who has been swamped with your job and mommy life lately. You’re so knee-deep in your work and kids that you need some kind of release. Unfortunately, you’re not finding any of that in your husband, but luckily, that’s what Gojo Satoru is here for…even though he’s way too young for you and is your student.”

sorcerer!gojo drabble by @emonaculate

let’s get the bill~ purrrr! lmao only gojo would think you’re tryna embarrass him out in public by offering to pay for the bill….then try to spin it 😭

peace & quiet by @jazzthatonewriterchick

you’re @ an airbnb on a work trip trying to vibe out on your company’s dime but here come gojo & geto testing your patience and sanity 🙂‍↕️

bad idea right? by @emonaculate

you and gojo ain’t shit for sneaking n’ freaking behind your roommate back but that ain’t none of her business 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ when glo said “how tf is that ya man, if he right here wit me?”

your lips, my lips (apocalypse) by @prettyngeto

“if someone told you you'd be screaming out the name of notorious fratboy satoru gojo for a reason other than to berate him, you never would've agreed to come to this party”

how to succeed in business by @mitsuwu

“so yeah, you may suck at your job, but if there’s one redeeming quality about you—one thing you’re good at, one thing keeping you from losing your job—it’s your phenomenal ability to suck dick.”

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 2

split in six for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4  (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

part 6 (jibcon continued, just for cute continued)

#pray4jensen:

compilation

straddlegate | straddlegate boner | video | another viewpoint | photo showing jensen’s smirk | photo showing the hand action 

the unicorn laugh | more | more unicorn laugh | more laughing

indiarussia | the indiarussia accent unicorn laugh | another one

audio of jensen calling misha dmitri | gifs of the moment

cheering for misha to strip | reaction to misha stripping | fanning himself | gifs minus jared 🐚

staring at misha like he’s the sun | more staring | more staring | even more | a compilation 🐚

the mish reach��

pouting because misha and jared are talking to each other

“i’ll take misha”

Accent Kink Activated (honcon) | alternate angle | just previous | hd photos

“misha is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

that time jensen tried to facetime misha so he could participate in a panel | he really wanted misha to pick up | and looked really sad when he didn’t :(

unnecessary touching

“who needs on-camera relationships when you have relationships like this?”

jensen losing his fucking mind over meeting a dog named misha

prolonged eye contact over beer bottle

“i love you, misha”

misha telling the story of how jensen looked up their zodiac compatibility and said “thank god” | discussion of what that compatibility is

jensen’s like yes okay i can touch him right? yeah friends touch nbd that’s not suspicious at all just a quick pat on his back going good yes okay and then i’ll just rest my hand there nope nope TIME TO MOVE TOO LONG ABORT i’ll just clap wait we’re not clapping yet ahHHH shit don’t look at his aSS

“i’m just lingering now”

jensen gushing over misha watching scoobynatural

talking about misha in an interview

“i’m not gonna lie, have you seen him in a dress?

tries to sit next to misha, isn’t allowed :(

blowing a kiss

jensen praising misha

lowkey holding misha’s hand

the way jensen likes being bossed around… | bonus angle

jensen falls over laughing because misha is wearing socks

“he’s like a little puppy”/”he’s like a little teddy bear”

jensen elbowing jared because he wants to play foosball opposite misha

wrote “yum” on cas fanart

slapped misha’s crotch while wrapping cas’s body | telling the story

crashing misha’s video with rob, looking awfully possessive

with danneel vs with misha

being like, “who isn’t excited about misha”

tenderly handling a castiel standee

complaining about cas’s clothes | ragging on misha’s sweater

yeah voting is important, but can we get misha some better filters?

pants adjustment

and another boner... apparently just from being in misha’s presence (gifs, if you’re really interested)

maybe getting a boner just from talking about misha??

“misha’s the only one that didn’t get it up”

“thank you for your question. i like it when people include misha.”

stares like a besotted fool, laughs automatically because misha laughs

bad jared joke vs bad misha joke

“i would be a pepe le pew skunk... to prank misha.”

if i kiss jim beaver first, it won’t be suspicious if i kiss misha, right

m i s h | bonus: mishka

making flirty faces counts as pranking, right? | yeah okay | video of the first link | demonstrating again how he “pranks” misha

“i’d rather misha wiggle”

the time misha bent jared over and jensen’s body language went closed off and furious | more

jensen’s ‘misha’ smile

wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward, bud (examples of jensen being awkward around misha)

“he’s misha.”

“you’re a real catch.”

reprimanding jared for giving misha thumbs down

control your face, sir (2012 jibcon)

when he almost said “hail misha” | video

that time nesnej jensen threatened to throw a chair at someone for hugging misha

“misha, i appreciate you screening everyone that came through here today.”

jensen telling the story of when he, danneel, and misha went on a date to a restaurant and spicy peppers happened

“i’m happy to do whatever he wants” & “misha can get jensen to do anything”

jensen maybe performing hanky code

misha telling the story of jensen saying “i wouldn’t mind a big slab of meat in my hand” to make him break on camera

“mish. dee.”

the “i’m the one holding up the rainbow” comment

jensen liked misha’s sensual poetry video (the video)

it sure looks like jensen used misha’s silhouette alongside his own on the cover of his album

telling everyone how he sent a picture of a fried chicken donut sandwich to misha and misha replied “’murica” because that’s soooo funny

old interview featuring jensen gushing about misha’s portrayal of cas

clapping like a fool to get misha to do the empty accent

mimicking fans, “i just love misha”

ducking his head and looking shy after making eye contact with misha

why can’t you take your hand out of your pocket, buddy?

jensen’s comment about starting a book club over misha’s poetry book + jensen liking misha’s posts about his book

how unhappy jensen looks when jared hugged misha at denvercon | photo

jensen’s face journey while listening to misha talk at denvercon

when told to “get in the tub with misha” for the ice bucket challenge (misha posted a video of himself naked in a tub filled with ice water) replied, “that’s a whole different challenge.”  

getting upset just because misha and jared were whispering (sdcc)  

demonstrating how he tries to get misha’s attention by... wiggling his hips at him?  

staring at misha, realizing he’s on camera, and slowly easing out of frame  

two fans recount jensen’s autograph of a destiel fanart book, where he looked at a picture of a dean/cas kiss and called it “the paparazzi shot” and, upon being told where he could buy the book, replied, “why? i live it.” | tweets about it | photo of their signatures in the book  

fan story that when told to look in love with misha for a photo op, jensen smiled and replied, “easy.” 

collection of jensen’s hearteyes 

positioning a fan in order to properly hit on misha for a photo op 

praising misha’s acting in the confession scene 

discussing how he and danneel recorded a spn podcast with misha to commentate on lazarus rising

jensen just thinks misha is amazing

 misha: “i’m a skin model” jensen: *gulps and licks lips* 

misha: *implies he has a big dick* jensen: *facepalms*  

trying to tug misha closer over jake abel’s shoulder

saying “show off” to both danneel and misha

“i mean, he’s no guy fieri, but let’s be honest”

the difference between his answers re: getting jared and misha on the winchesters

childishly knocking over a chair because misha sat next to jared not him 🐚

the difference between "my costar jared padalecki" and "mish. dee."  🐚

“For his 45th birthday, Jensen has chosen Random Acts to be the beneficiary of our latest fundraising endeavor." 🐚

jensen hyping the hallway crowd to chant misha's name 🐚

"hey, mish" 🐚

 new nickname dropped! "mit", short for dmitri 🐚

"big guy" 🐚

getting pissy because jared pushed between him and misha  🐚

gag reel hijinks:

gag reel compilation

“aloha, cowboy”

jensen straddling misha on set

misha breaking while jensen does a blowjob motion

“stop pulling my face towards your crotch!”

“you’re my baby daddy”

foot-five

frolicking in an empty field

“i know it’s hard.”

whipping misha’s ass with a handkerchief

“it doesn’t hurt here.”

the blowjob motion

the already infamous anal sex fart joke

misha breaking, giggling

“you’re poking me”

chinese chair

"just relax"

"you fucker"

wormstache

"who's gonna clean that up?" | video

s15 smiles and giggles

just staring at each other while jared goofs off 

jensen hip thrusting while making eye contact

some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps:

the basic breakdown of what i believe about cockles

another breakdown

the mini masterlist

the guided tour/challenge

why is it okay to ship cockles as real people?

my thoughts on how jensen has behaved re: destiel

thoughts on misha being queer

thoughts on jensen being a chaotic bi

top 3 no hetero explanation moments

top 5 10 favorite little moments

a collection of candid moments

my cockles ask tag  

bonus: jensen is queer tag | misha is queer tag  

my thoughts on misha coming out as bi then saying he’s straight

bonus: do jensen and jared secretly hate each other? 🐚

and lastly... please, nobody tweet this at misha (or any other cast member), but misha, if you do see this... please don’t tweet it either. thank you.

[ura-writes]

Trampolinist - Part 3

Part summary: Tundras are cold, and apparently Netherite armor doesn’t do much against that.

Warnings: swearing, and that’s mostly it. Blood and injuries.

A/N - Y’all went nuts over the last chapter! Thank you so much for the support! It means so much to me that you love my writing. It fuels me to write more. It’s crack to me— /hj

My updates are going to be irregular. Like, really irregular. School is coming to a close and I don’t always have access to steady internet, plus I enjoy hangin’ out with my friends.

Taglist:

@lemonmochitea

@dad-ee-drea

@victoria-a567

@thattoxicshipper

@mellie-teh-goblin-queen

@rainyrei

@on-jah-bruh

@victory-is-here

@sirensong53

DM me or send in an ask to be added and I’ll do so! It’s always open!

Enjoy!

——

Your feet complain at you at the mere thought of walking all the way through the plains in the direction that the compass is pointing. The way through the Nether is dangerous, you know that for a fact, crossing through several Soul Sand Valleys, over a fortress, and an especially thick Warped Forest (at least according to info on the corkboard by the central portal). And if that wasn’t bad enough, you don’t have any obsidian on you and don’t know where to get any, making the option of an additional portal far out of the question.

A sigh passes your lips, resigned to trudge through the plains and fight whatever you may come across.

Hopefully it’s only a few thousand blocks.

So you take the first step.

And another.

And another.

You lose track of how many you take, the time passing by like an especially boring Bedwars game, tick tick tocking seconds.

The temperature drops sharply a good time later, the compass beginning to vibrate with its proximity to the lodestone. You look up, almost surprised to see a cabin in the middle of the tundra, but you’re relieved nonetheless.

You duck behind a tree when you see a figure step out from the cabin, wearing red, the sun glinting off of their crown in gold and blue. They seem to scan the tree line, but there’s no way that they heard you…

...right?

Right?

A second figure, one you have certainly never seen before, emerges from the cabin, putting one hand on the first figure’s shoulder, saying something you can’t make out from your position. They appear to huff and say something back.

The second figure makes their way towards your hiding spot; as they (he, you can see the facial features now) get closer, the compass hums in your tight grip on it, vibrating almost violently.

“Come out now and we won’t hurt you.”

You stay silent. Particles gather at your fingertips, ready to rip open the fabric of the world in order to escape with your life (well, one of your lives, anyway) and sanity.

Your issue?

He needs to stay back.

He pulls his sword out of midair, materializing Netherite gripped white-knuckled.

“So be it.”

There goes your chance of escaping via portal. You suppose knocking him out with the energy is your best shot at scurrying off intact.

The second he reaches your hiding spot, you jump up, sending the energy flying down your blade and into his chest. The winged man stumbles backwards, cursing in an unfamiliar (takes you a while to interpret) language, lost to the sands of the void.

You’re reckless, that much is for certain, but you’re certainly not stupid. Now that you’ve been spotted, the other person is sure to be there in, at most, a minute. Knowing when to run is not cowardice.

You should have known to account for outside forces.

The second figure appears seemingly out of nowhere, sticking his foot out to trip you up in your haste to find a new hiding place. It works, unfortunately, sending you sprawling, cursing in at least four different languages.

“You’re fast,” he grumbles, confiscating your sword and eyeing it with an experienced gaze.

“Yeah, and you’re an ass,” you retort, hand subtly reaching to the second blade stashed on your thigh.

He doesn’t expect the swing of the dagger so suddenly, violently slashing his palm open. He doesn’t expect, through his howls of pain, for you to grab your sword and give him a pitying gaze.

He doesn’t expect your sparks, normally used to rip open and kill, maim others and shred reality, to flicker towards his hand and seal the bloody slash shut with nothing more than a faint scar to remember it by.

You don’t expect what you do either.

“Portal, L’Manburg, tomorrow at midnight. I’ll explain there.”

With that, you dip out of there, tired and needing a new sword.

Great.

Sorry it’s so short y’all, I’m burnt out ‘cause of school. Fun.

[baguetteavocat]

OKAY so. uhh guess i’m doing this. thank you @vengeful-otaku bc u seemed to be v interested and it made me feel slightly less self-conscious so that’s nice!

basically, and i’ll be 100% honest, it all started out of spite. me and @pennysbees were talking about how gross stephen king is, and i decided that we were going to create a new, very gay, not at all pedophilic horror novel for everyone to love.

now, i’m fairly good at creating creepy things apparently. i have been plagued with nightmares from a young age, and though i absolutely cannot stand horror, i wanted to give it a shot.

i’ll start with the main concept: there’s this town that’s packed tightly in between a dense forest with a large lake and a long stretch of plains and grassland and whatnot. it’s most notable feature, apart from the lake and whatnot, is the farms. there’s only a few, but it’s a small town. most if not everything produce-wise comes from within. it’s a very secluded little town. they have a factory or two as well, but they’re rather small. here’s a (VERY) rough approximation of it all that i drew when i first came up with it (obviously it needs updating but i’m not very motivated rn):

so, let’s focus on the lake. there’s a cave that travels underneath it, as shown. at the end of this cave is where our real story begins. deep within the cave is a small wooden box of sorts, opened, and a strange looking seed having fallen out. still inside the box is an old and beaten journal. it is filled with entries and observations, the author obviously studying the seed and it’s properties. it’s very clear in the entries that the author becomes increasingly paranoid and eventually loses his sanity. the entries just stop, no indication of what happened to the author. here’s a sketch that i made a while back (excuse the shit quality):

[PHOTO]

The seed itself has many small holes, small tendrils of a viney nature slowly growing out and taking hold of the earth around it, blooming into odd purple flowers at the surface. here’s a sketch from when i first came up with the idea:

and here’s a sketch of the flowers:

now for the characters!! my favourite children!!! there are four main characters as of now. their names, in descending age order, are Amber Jace (17), Mary Kahl (17), Dalton Avery Brookes aka DAB (14), and Michael Westfield (13). it’s kinda funny, because at the time i didn’t id as trans and my name wasn’t michael, but the name fits him so we kept the name the same. here are their (very basic) descriptions as of now, but they very well may and probably will change:

obviously i could go into a bit more detail, but i think i wanna save some of that for the actual novel yknow? i didn’t explain the actual horror aspect because i wanna keep it a secret ;)

that’s all that i can really think of as of now! i haven’t started the actual writing process so of course these things are kinda just outlines, but i tried to develope them as best i could before actually deciding on them.

thank y’all for all y’all’s interest :3

[panticwritten]

Breaking Furnace - Solitary: Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The Face of the Resistance

Table of contents!

All of my writing!

Sorry about the late update! Work was more exhausting than I expected yesterday, so I ended up going to a friend’s house for dinner and relaxation. I should have scheduled the post earlier, but what can you do?

(I’ve had to change quite a bit of formatting to post this on tumblr. If you want to read this chapter with its original formatting, you can do so HERE.)

Remember that this is a daydream taking place in the Escape From Furnace universe, so keep that in mind if you haven’t read EFF.

Word count: 2067

Content warnings for this chapter:

Character death

Feel free to message me if I’m missing any.

Chapter four will be up on August 17th at 7pm PST.

If you like what I do here, maybe consider buying me a Ko-fi or checking out my Patreon! I love being able to put so much out for free, but this would be a great way to show support and also see cool new content!

♥️♥️♥️C♥️♥️♥️

I don’t remember this hurting so much.

None of it hurt back then.

Now, though, the jutting stone beneath me tears my knees and forearms. The walls of the tunnel, convex and unyielding, prevent my lungs from filling completely. I know I can get through this, I know I’m capable, but Sawyer’s imagination has gotten better. They definitely aren’t a child anymore. They understand that none of this could possibly be easy.

Which is great for them, but I can’t fucking breathe.

I catch sight of the final obstacle. This one will decide whether we make it or not.

A blade of rock hangs from the ceiling of the tunnel to guard the last stretch. I think Alex described it as a guillotine in the original story. It’s as accurate as anything else, I suppose. That’s not as much of a problem as the upturn to the tunnel afterward that might make it impossible to go on.

I try not to think about the possibility of not fitting as I squirm forward. If only to distract myself from the deadly edge of the blockage tugging against my skull, I muse that Sawyer wouldn’t have made it through this. They’d have freaked out before we ever got to this part.

It might have been before we even made it to the river. I love them to death, but the one place they can’t seem to leave alone just happens to be underground. Scared of the dark, scared of the caves, scared of hei—

Fuck.

“You good?”

Alex’s voice remains muffled in the dead air of the tunnel, but I zero in on him instead of the sudden pain in my lower back. I remain as still as possible, taking stock on how fucked I am so I can answer.

I’m almost through. The angle I’m wedged in isn’t comfortable at all, but I don’t think I’m stuck. I hope that crack I felt was just my joints popping. Yeah, we’ll go with that in the interests of not panicking and hopefully getting the hell out of here.

“Yeah.” I cringe at the hiss in my voice, and I can’t quite unclench my jaw while I’m talking. “Yeah, I’m fine. Y’all okay back there?”

“‘Y’all?’” Zee repeats, even quieter than Alex in his distance. “Aren’t you from Oregon?”

“Are you really nitpicking my fucking dialect when I can’t move?” This time I don’t even try to smooth my voice out or stop the half-hysterical laugh that comes with it. “Take it up with Sawyer. Better yet, take it up with the country obsessed, neglectful assholes that let someone get so fucked in the head they’d go through this shit—”

Someone—Alex, the only person who could since he’s right behind me—pinches the back of my leg and I shut the hell up.

“We’re good. Just get out of the way.”

I take a deep breath. Zee’s just trying to lighten the mood, and I know that.

I inch forward.

When my back doesn’t spasm, when I can still feel my legs, when I manage to drag myself to the top of the incline without losing anything but my dignity and a good amount of sanity, I nearly weep in relief. I hug the top of the mound of stone while the pain in my back fades, my feet still braced against this side of the makeshift guillotine.

I don’t move until I hear Alex’s laugh behind me and feel a smack against my ankle.

I heave my exhausted body up and sit at the edge of the tunnel’s end. The beam of my light reveals the floor a good ways down. The wall between here and there’s fairly inclined, so we’re not gonna die trying to get down.

I’ll likely get an earful from Sawyer about that particular outburst later. If not for the things I said, then simply for snapping at Zee.

I look back to see Alex struggling significantly less than I did. He’s small, already skinny before coming to the near-starvation Furnace offers its inmates. I didn’t expect him to have trouble.

He takes my hand up, and I shift to the side to let him get past. I catch him by the wrist before he can slide down the hill, though.

“You need to pull Gary out,” I mutter. I hope my voice is low enough, Zee’s struggles below loud enough to keep the idiot in question from hearing me. “So I can get the others out without them getting hurt.”

“What do you—” He cuts off, snapping around to look back at the space they’ll all need to squeeze through.

Jimmy would be able to fit through that block. Monty, Kevin, and Donovan, though? I could have hurt myself and I’m smaller than two of them by a long shot.

Alex doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t make any move to leave our perch. He just leans back down with me to help Zee through the hard part.

The nervous glance the shorter boy directs at me before sliding down the hill is like a kick to the teeth. I swear I wasn’t mad at him, it was the damn tunnel, but he’s still gone before I find anything to say. His light sweeps the cavern from below, and I wonder how long we have.

“Crap—”

Alex falls backwards, Gary shooting out of the tunnel and knocking the both of them down the hill. I stay at the top of the mound long enough to make sure they’re both moving before I delve back into the tunnel myself.

Kevin already has his head forced through the gap under the blade, cursing quietly. I can see from here, his shoulders won’t fit through.

“Back up, idiot,” I mutter, reaching out to press a hand against the stone.

His head disappears.

I tense my hand.

The bottom half of the blockage shatters, the loose rocks cluttering the floor of the tunnel. It probably won’t be fun to shuffle through that, but it’s not unyielding anymore.

Kevin mutters something that doesn’t sound all that grateful, but I still withdraw. They should be able to get down here soon.

“He’s not gonna last long like this,” Alex says in a low voice when I skid to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

Gary sways on his feet not too far away, his light unsteady. I know that coming out of the tunnel does something to his body—I’ve never had an occasion to find out what—and the blood streaking the lower half of his face confirms this run isn’t an exception.

“We’re still okay on the timeline,” I answer eventually, turning my light into the maze of stalagmites dotting the cavern. “We’ll go when—”

“Nice trick, Sawyer.” Kevin claps me on the back, more friendly than I ever want him to address me again. “What else are you hiding?”

“Easier than I remember,” Donovan calls from the top of the hill. With the sound of sliding gravel in the background, I focus back in on the cavern itself.

The sounds in the distance could easily be written off as falling rocks or dripping water. Bats, maybe, but we know better. We shouldn’t still be here, not with Gary in the condition he is or the very real possibility of getting trapped here. Monty and Jimmy just need another minute.

I’m not losing anyone else.

“That’s everyone,” Alex says somewhere behind me, quieter than before. He must have heard them, too.

“Okay.” I turn back to the group and count everyone, to be sure. I only relax when all eight of us are here. “Let’s go.”

~-S-~

“Lies.”

I try not to react to the voice. I keep my gaze directly on Cross, I listen to him explain how he could possibly know where the inmates will show up. Still, I’m not sure if I’m really hearing him.

It all makes sense when he says it.

The rats are reacting to their presence. They’re coming from the south, so he has soldiers set up there. He’ll wait with them while I set up for the five inmates we’ll put directly on the nectar.

“Cross knew.”

I stiffen, and this time Cross stops talking.

I only notice because a tendril of nectar sweeps around the edges of my mind when he does. The feeling of someone standing over my shoulder vanishes, and I hope the voice won’t come back. I don’t think Cross is going to let this go.

“Is everything alright?” he asks, the same phrase and tone as always. It’s fucking obnoxious.

I do have something to offer him, though.

“I don’t know if I can oversee—” I almost say the name, but a burst of nectar colors the edges of my vision black. “Number 209. The nectar reacted badly when I read his file.”

To my surprise, Cross grins.

“That, we can speak about when we have the escaped prisoners secured.” He rises from his chair. “Get to the infirmary. You should have time to prepare enough nectar for our guests.”

The voice returns out of nowhere with a snort that echoes back and forth through my head. I manage not to flinch, though, so that’s a plus.

“How—” A burst of static nearly smothers the next word, and it comes out with a much different inflection. “—theatrical.”

At least I can agree with that.

He sweeps out of the room before I get a chance to say anything. By the time I manage to follow him out, he’s nowhere to be seen, so I start for the infirmary.

The voice, so close to my ear I nearly can’t keep from looking, crackles again.

“What do you remember from your time away?”

♥️♥️♥️C♥️♥️♥️

We manage to walk in peace for longer than I expect. I can almost convince myself that we’re exploring the caves back home. The idea that Scorpix could appear to pull us back to the Cube at any moment soothes my nerves.

Which means I’m too comfortable when those distant sounds pause.

The rats know we’re here.

I don’t know how much further we have to go. I don’t know how many rats there are. I don’t know exactly which way we need to go, not in this dark. I don’t even know if Simon bothered to make sure we make it through this time.

I barely consider the possible consequences before I throw my hand above my head. The intent flows along my skin like water, flicking up into the air. Four orbs balloon from my fingers and stick in the cavern above us.

I’m not sure if the mutters of surprise are about the sudden light or too-many rats weaving between the stalagmites. Strangely, though, they aren’t headed in our direction.

I remove my hard hat and discard it on the ground. I don’t need it anymore.

A hoard of twisted children with nectar black veins staining their skin a spotty gray flow the same way we’re going. Many of them pause to screech at the new lights, but the sound of gunshots up ahead is enough of an explanation. It’s enough, and it almost pulls a laugh out of me.

Cross tried to wait for us before the rats could find us.

Why would they care about a group of pitiful scraps of meat when the blacksuits are right there? Great big bags of nectar gathered in a cavern. Good plan in theory, not so great in practice.

Still, the sound of struggle doesn’t last long.

I wonder where Sawyer is right now? Waiting with the warden? Biding their time in the lab? Could they already have fled to join Simon in the tunnels?

God, I hope so.

The lights above us begin to fade when I catch sight of the opening in the wall all of the rats must have fled through. The brighter light streaming through the opening almost looks like the sun, though only three of us would be liable to believe it really is.

Gary, in whatever stupor his injuries have landed him, immediately streaks ahead of the group. No one tries to stop him. We watch him disappear into the light.

I stop a good distance away from the end of our trek through the caves. The others don’t, though.

The feeling of playing delivery boy for the formula that works finally gets to fall away. We only have a few more yards and I won’t be able to rely on the past anymore. I can’t predict Cross like I can the tunnels.

What if he decides to just end it now?

“Where’s Sawyer?”

I sigh at the warden’s snarl and force myself to continue around the corner and into the too-bright light. Eyes shaded against the spotlights, I join the jolly crew in the chamber connecting the prison compound to the tunnels.

I stop again just inside, eyes on the small group huddled at the warden’s feet. Six of them. Gary’s already gone, swept into the infirmary like clockwork, though the hoard of blacksuits lining the walls of the cave leave no chink in the armor.

All evidence there was a fight with the rats has vanished, as well, save for pools of nectar dotting the floor.

“Ah, here he is.” Cross clasps his hands together. A mockery of pride hides in his shark’s grin. “Can’t very well lose our guest of honor, can we?”

I don’t know if this apathy is another new effect of being half of who I was or if it’s from Sawyer’s preoccupation. Maybe two years in the prison has finally caught up with me. I just don’t care as much as I should when I don’t find Sawyer waiting in the chamber.

I’d know if they were dead. The worst possibility is solitary, and they can run with us if that’s the case. I can’t worry about them.

The anger rising at Cross’s commentary is a little harder to swallow down.

“Impressive, as ever. It would have been more so, had you arrived with your full entourage, but we can’t have everything.”

He uses the same lines against Sawyer. They’re insecure about how willing they are to let people die.

Me? Brand new head on my shoulders. Even with irritation and fear coursing through my veins, I manage to keep my response to a mere shrug.

Without his gaze or his grin wavering, he raises a hand. A number of blacksuits step forward to pull everyone to their feet.

Well. Not everyone.

Cross stops a suit trying to grab Monty and Jimmy.

The others, however, turn confused and curious eyes on me as they’re pulled through a tunnel up ahead. I try a smile that I hope is reassuring, but I’m not sure how well it transfers. Time to see how he’s going to play it, and I’m nowhere close to being sure of his plans.

If Cross decides to kill me here, we’re fucked.

But he’s not even looking at me.

While the rest of the suits file out—leaving me alone with the warden—he stoops to inspect the two unresponsive kids.

“Montgomery Earl,” he says, and I know he must still be talking to me because Monty doesn’t even look up. “All of this mess, just because you were assigned to the wrong part of the damned prison.”

“Not because you turned him in the first place?” I mutter.

He barks a laugh, the sound a punch to my stomach.

His hand shoots forward, though it looks wrong. I realize, once both Monty and Jimmy both crumple lifeless in a heap on the floor, that it’s a glittering blade of nectar. He straightens up as though he does this every day.

The shining flecks of purple in the blade wink at me as it retracts under his skin.

He has the violet nectar.

He finally looks at me.

The air changes the instant the indignation, anger, hate, catches up with the tumble of my thoughts. He just killed them. Looked at them and decided they wouldn’t be worth it. Decided to cut them down before they even got a chance to fight.

Just because Monty told Alex not to forget his name in the first iteration of this universe.

I don’t get a chance to say anything with Cross suddenly blocked out by Virtuoso inches in front of me. This close up in the light, I realize what makes them look wrong compared to Sawyer.

A spark from their eyes touches my cheek and a dense fog in my head locks my limbs and keeps my brain from working. I open my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.

“I thought I would be too late.”

They lean forward and peer into my eyes. I can’t find the words to respond through the cotton they filled my head with. After a few seconds, they sigh and relax marginally.

“I was told you might not appreciate this.” They let go of my arms and take a step back. “It should keep you from killing me in the meantime, though, so we’ll see who wins that argument when I get back.”

I still can’t say anything. Can’t put together a single real thought. I struggle to lift the fog, but it won’t budge.

“I’ll level with you since I have you here. Since I can’t let this scene progress until your brain starts working again, hm?” They reach forward to push my hair out of my face. Their hand lingers on the side of my head. “You need to keep your mouth shut when Cross provokes you, Connor.

“You’re a more disposable version of Sawyer as far as he’s concerned. It’s a lot of pressure, I know. I doubt you’ll see an alternative once you two have your big reunion.”

They smile, and I catch a wisp of a thought. Too little, too late, I can’t comprehend what it was.

“But we all want to see Cross dead.”

Cross.

The fog breaks for an instant and it comes back marginally lighter. It must show somewhere in my face because Virtuoso drops their hand.

“Ah. There you are.”

Because it’s them, and because I’m still lagging behind in the whirlwind of my head, I open my mouth to address the matter at hand. The most pressing idea at the front of my brain. The absolute, most important thing, I can think of.

“You don’t have freckles.”

They blink at me.

Yes.

Not ‘you knew Dominic would die’—even though I’m so beyond being mad at them about that. Not ‘Monty and Jimmy are dead.’ Not ‘who are you, really?’

They don’t have freckles.

But the next time I blink, they do.

I couldn’t tell you if they’re all in the right places, but the subtle wrongness is nearly gone. I’ll hold my tongue about the absence of bags under their eyes. Though I have a feeling it’ll be pretty easy to tell the two apart down here, I need all the help I can get.

“Better?”

I nod, and they rub a hand over their face. I wonder if changing their appearance feels weird. Before they can take charge of the conversation again or blip out of existence, I take another shot.

“Is Sawyer okay?”

They hesitate, and my heart stutters in my chest. I feel like I’m asking this question all the damn time, and no one can give me a straight answer. Jay told me I should ask them myself. The blacksuits told me not to worry about it at all. Virtuoso says—

“They’d say they’re fine.” They shrug and cross their arms. “But they’ve always been good at ignoring the truth.”

Not dying, then.

“Especially when nectar’s involved and they have a dirty little enabler who won’t tell them when their ideas are terrible.”

Their pointed look—rude—is immediately overtaken by a small and tired smile.

“I guess you’re working hard, then?” I ask after a moment of awkward silence.

They shrug again.

“When you have more time to waste thinking about me than worrying about Cross, maybe I’ll show you.” They pause with a thoughtful tilt to their head. “The In-Between seems to like you well enough, at least.”

They shift to the side and I catch sight of the whole reason they’re here. The reason they had to come and stuff my head full of emptiness. Cross and the corpses laying at his feet.

Frozen in time, he seems to welcome any attempt on his life I might make. That damn smile stays on his face, and I nearly forget about Virtuoso being here. I take a step forward, but they still me with a tight grip on my arm.

“Remember.” They turn my head back toward them with their other hand. “Whatever you do, don’t give him a reason to kill you.”

“What’s keeping him from killing me right now?” I hiss.

They smile, and a diffusion of sadness seeps through my skin from their hands.

“He’s a cruel man, Connor.” They let go of me and step away. “It would be too kind to keep you and Sawyer from meeting again in this universe.”

There’s something wrong with Sawyer.

I would ask, but something tells me this meeting is as good as over. Sure enough, they turn to glare at Cross while they instruct me to get in the exact place I was when they paused time. It takes a few minutes, some prodding, and some cross words, but they end up satisfied by my hunched shoulders and balled fists.

They smile when they stop to knock my hair back into my face. I hadn’t even realized that it normally rests there, or that my hair has gotten so damn long.

“No matter how mad you might be,” they say eventually. “I promise that there was nothing alive in those two. Every word they said, everything they ever did outside of base processing, was a conscious decision on my part.”

“Why make Sawyer think they were part of the group? Isn’t that a little cruel?” It comes out testier than I mean, my eyes drifting back to their bodies.

They purse their lips.

“Sawyer likes to explain things. They needed an audience or they’d explode.”

They gesture for me to return my focus to Cross, so I do.

And him settling on his feet is apparently the only warning I get about time being real again. It’s physically painful not to look at where Virtuoso was just instants ago, but I manage to keep a glare leveled as close to Cross’s eyes as is possible.

“Is there a problem, Sawyer?” His grin morphs into a sneer on the last word.

After a minute to breathe, I don’t think I’m in danger of trying to kill him here and now. He seems to expect it of me, so it’s almost satisfying when I can swallow most of my anger down. Even more satisfying when I can spit out a direct lie without my voice shaking.

“They might get upset about losing ornaments—I’m not that sentimental.” I manage a smile. I hope it’s as cold as I want it to be. “They were empty before you got to them and you know it.”

He laughs again, and this time it echoes in the cavern. It’s just us. He turns away and I follow without prompting.

If Virtuoso’s worried enough to warn me so soon after letting Dominic die, the danger must be more real than I thought. I figured he wouldn’t actually kill me for no reason, but that’s what he’s really looking for isn’t it?

A reason.

So I follow and keep my mouth shut when he starts talking again.

“I knew you’d changed since the last time we met.” He says conversationally, as if he doesn’t know I want him dead. “For the better, it seems. That anger will do you well here.”

I don’t answer.

The old line of anger making the nectar-borne brainwashing stronger is still alive and well. Even after being defeated seven times (eight, if you include the original books), he thinks he’s the strong one here. Even if Sawyer and I fall through the cracks, Alex has beaten him before without extra help.

He’s far too confident.

“This prison has had some changes as well. You’ll grow intimately familiar with them when you’ve done your time in solitary.”

We pass by the infirmary, and my breath catches in my throat at the crimson light streaming through the slats. Even so, I look on instinct to see a pair of narrowed eyes trained on me. They’re darker than I remember.

Even on a stool, I can tell they’ve grown taller. Nectar can do that, even the violet stuff they favor. That, with their eyes and the sleek pink hair pulled into a high ponytail, I almost don’t recognize them. It’s not the first time a universe has changed what they look like.

It seems their face is the only thing that hasn’t changed about Sawyer.

The feeling of being watched follows even after they fall out of my sight.

Cross chuckles as we round a corner and the lids of the steel cells come into view.

“Plenty of changes.”

I can’t keep up with all of the ways my mind’s running. Sawyer said something, in the very beginning, about him being terrifyingly friendly. Cheerful. Almost kind.

I watched him murder Monty and Jimmy in front of my eyes, now he’s escorting me personally to my cell. From 60 to 0 in a second, from his perspective. Acting like there’s any reason I might change sides if he’s kind.

Though, isn’t that what he thinks happened with Sawyer? He gave them the option, handed the nectar right to them, and they chose him over the rest of us? He knows how loyal I am to them.

I don’t have the balls to try bluffing my way in and out of his twisted family, though. Sawyer’s already there. They’ve always been there.

This really is just the latest example of that.

Maybe I am an enabler. As long as it’s not me, right?

I sigh under the clatter of the cell opening. Cross doesn’t acknowledge it if he even heard it. He inclines his head toward the hole at my feet, and I don’t wait to be told again.

It’s cold and dark down here, and I only catch a glimpse of his standard grin before the lid slams shut. I stare at the ceiling until the negative of it fades into nothing.

Thank god I’m not scared of the dark.

[allegradegray-archive]

Today is ‘Meg-getting-her-RP-shit-together’ day! I’ll be doing some light (who am i kidding, heavy) housekeeping on this blog today because I won’t be able to focus on any of my other replies until this is done. If you need me, I’ll be editing tags, updating my rules & verses page, and maybe making a ‘meet the mun’ page all while trying to not lose my sanity while I do all of this. 

Wish me luck, y’all! <3

[goodestboyryuji]

real quick life update!!!!

not having a consistent computer is...challenging. i miss y’all. tumblr mobile is a nightmare so half the time i don’t bother but maybe i should just swallow that pill bc it sucks being away for so long

living at home is okay enough. love seeing my family, but i miss having my own space. i’m living out of a suitcase that’s pushed into the corner of the room bc that’s the only place it fits. i sleep in my brother’s bed. i go to get a clothing item and realize it’s at my apartment. my commute to work is tripled. so yeah: some rough stuff, but not nearly as rough as it used to be, so i’ll take it in stride.

exboyf and i still communicate, but the pain gets easier. he really wants to make things work, but he’s given me an ultimatum of either i move back in or he moves back to new york. i told him i’d be willing to start all of this over months from now if he had shown that he’d grown (very very slowly) but honestly idk if i’m really into that idea as much the further from the relationship i get. i’ve talked to some of his friends and they don’t think he’s really grasped the things he’s done yet. he’s quick to say he’s changed, but you don’t change behaviors like that in a month. at the end of the day it will be his decision to move, not mine, and i’m washing my hands of it.

i got a promotion at work!!! which i may have mentioned already, but it’s officially official now. i’m losing a little bit of my sanity but i’m getting paid more so it’s a necessary exchange lmao

work crush is still a fuckin goddamn cutie. i’m still very far up his ass, probably will be forever tbh. if it weren’t for the girlfriend i’d go after it hardcore, but for now i’m just gonna dream about the jim/pam parallels and hope for a miracle LOL

i’m super fucking exhausted all the time now, so i’ll leave this for the time being. i hope you all are doing well, drinking lots of water, remembering to take your meds and to eat something every now and then. you’re the best ppl i technically don’t know but definitely do know <3

[tmiquotepage]

Next Few Officially Unofficial Projects

So, I’ve been thinking the past month about my next Officially Unofficial projects, and I think I’ve got it all figured out. So this is just a little update.

The first two I’m working on are officially unofficial fan scripts for my own version of a Throne of Glass TV show, as well as a pilot for my idea of a live-action Star Wars TV show for either a streaming service or someone like Freeform. For Throne of Glass, I think I’m going to write all of season 1 and just release the scripts once weekly for fun. For Star Wars, it will likely just be the pilot. If people really like either, I’ll probably continue (season 2 for ToG or a full season 1 for Star Wars). I’m nearly done with my first draft of the Throne of Glass’s pilot right now, so there’s a possibility it will be published around Christmas. More than likely, it will be first of the year that it’s out. And once that’s out, I’ll take a break before I write the rest of season 1 to write my Star Wars pilot. I just have the perfect idea for a main villain and protagonist in a Star Wars serial taking up residence in my mind, and it’s something I have to write down before I lose all sanity. (I don’t know what the series will be called, but the pilot is titled “Balance.”) Anyway, I hope you all like both of these series. They’re so much fun to do, and I’m looking forward to sharing these fan fiction ideas with everyone.

As for actual production on Officially Unofficial projects, I’m considering two different short films based on two very different YA book series, and I will announce those once I’m sure of funding for them. If we film them, they’ll probably be filmed in late Spring/early Summer 2018, with release dates in Fall of 2018, and maybe Early Winter 2019 (depending on if the scenes I choose require extensive special effects.) For one of the ideas, I’ve been wanting an adaptation of the series since I read the first novel early this year, and I recently figured out a way I think I can film a fun scene (maybe multiples) from it without killing myself and/or having to have a major budget/giant crew. So stay tuned on that one.

For now, if you want to keep updated, follow the tag #OfficiallyUnofficial. I’ll try to update as much as I can. Writing the officially unofficial City of Heavenly Fire and then the Vampire Academy webseries and the fun I’ve had with both fandoms has been ana amazing experience, and I can’t wait for my future and getting more involved in some of my favorite fandoms with these new projects! (I’m also going to, at some point this year, find time to finish two new original TV pilots and shoot one for a school project, so SUPER FUN AND BUSY YEAR AHEAD.) Thanks everyone! Love y’all! <3

[nomorebigwords]

Connecting People Y’all (Week 1)

Sometimes I hate and love my mouth. It'll never let my brain have a benefit of a doubt. It just goes with its own thing y'know? It'll lead to disastrous things that only hinder me. Or it's just what the doctor ordered.

Right now I'm on my way to Nokia, the first company I ever worked for (even if it's strictly OJT I still count it as work experience). I have a job interview there. I'm excited but at the same time I'm already starting to get familiar with my teammates at Navitaire. And to be honest regardless of the pressure threatening my sanity I like it there. It was challenging, I had to talk to unfamiliar people, also I have store credit for snacks.

So basically I'm cheating. I feel like I'm trying to distract myself with a new opportunity because I'm so scared I might lose my job. Why?

C# training bro.

Honestly I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to pass it. I knew I screwed up the exam but I was fairly confident with the project. So while I was busy panicking with that Nokia called in my time of great vulnerability. I wanted a backup plan. So I just said yes.

And eventually I regretted it.

I was starting to be more familiar with my teammates (I can finally ask help with little to no hesitation!) That was something I’m very thankful. Moreover, I’m beginning to like the routine I’m making. And I’m getting more excited and nervous for the project with a new client we will be working with. I’m honestly thankful for Navitaire. I got to see why everything was so difficult (because mas malala na daw sa actual HAHA).

Anyway at least I gained more confidence. Even if I was already panicking that my training was delayed so much. I think I’ll survive this.

---- I AM REGRET (01/07/2016) 0913 I kinda want to leave Medyo hassle ginagawa nila I feel like they could've just used the meeting rooms instead of squishing all of us on the hallway Also I'm probably projecting bitch. It's alright I guess. Honestly comparing experience from navitaire exam to nokia.

I'm loving navitaire so far tbh Damn it regret so much regret why did I not just say I'm not entertaining other jobs right now. BECAUSE IM KINDA STARTING TO LIKE MY CURRENT JOB BES

somehow got some much needed alone time (01/07/2016) 1136

Okay so this was a whole day event. Also saw Prompto Fateswap AUs thank the good lord for creating these talented people. Prompto is the current fictional bae sorry kaidan. Also aranea and luna. Yay for people like Luna from FFXV and Harry Potter!!!!

Update: They actually wanted me to kind of absorb me so I could work with my former team during OJT. Oh well. Also, I blatantly admitted that unless they give a significantly higher pay I’d rather stay in Navitaire. Even if they do have a paid scholarship if you worked for 2 years there. Sigh. ----