#i’ll make the grey one better when i’m not at school or sleeping

[sspiderj]

ska-pe diem stickers!!

[flippinpancakes64]

Hello! I love your stuff and I wanted to request their response to:

Reader: Let me take care of you.

Them: It's rotten work...

Reader: Not to me...not if it's you.

Keep writing! You're amazing! (And I need something to read while I stay up)

Taking care of the Cullens

Ok ngl this ask has me giggling and kicking my feet

Jasper let me take care of you 😡😭❤️

Uhm and remember in my request rules thing where I said I don’t do narratives… i might be a big fat liar cause that’s what I did here… don’t come for me

And thank you so much for the kind words! Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

We all know he has a bit of a complex when it comes to his worth and his humanity

He tends to get in his own head a lot

Especially when it comes to you and your relationship

He doesn’t really get jealous in the normal sense

He just sort of gets sad when he sees you with other people

It’s one day after school and Edward seems to be avoiding you. You’re sitting at the table with Emmett, Alice, Esme, and Jasper playing a card game.

Only Edward is nowhere to be found.

The game finishes, Alice winning and Emmett immediately going into ranting mode about how it’s rigged. You excuse yourself to go check on him.

You find him upstairs in the piano room, plunking away on the keys mindlessly. If he wasn’t a vampire and you didn’t know better, you would say he didn’t even notice you enter the room.

You stood behind him for a while, watching as his fingers danced over the ivory keys.

“It sounds beautiful” you say.

He doesn’t respond.

“Edward, what’s the matter? You’ve hardly spoken to me all day.”

“Do you ever wish I was human?”

The question catches you off guard.

“To wish for you to be human would be to change you, and I happen to love you just the way you are.”

He huffs, his fingers halting.

“But don’t you wish I was warm? Don’t you wish I could eat the foods you like, actually sleep next to you at night, grow old with you?”

You sit down next to him at the stool and take his hands in your own.

“What were you like when you were human?”

The change of subject seems to catch him off guard, his face twists slightly as he thinks. He pauses for a beat before answering.

“I was a bit of a troublemaker. My mom always said I was giving her grey hairs way too early. I didn’t do any of my schoolwork, I just wanted to go and be free.”

“Hm, sounds like the you that could sleep, eat, and grow old was a bit of a wild card. Not really my type. You know I prefer the sophisticated, musical type.”

He laughs at that, hanging his head down to press a kiss to your joined hands.

“So what you’re saying is you like the version of me without a soul better,�� he says bitterly. You frown at that.

“No, I’m saying I like the you that I have now. I love you, Edward. I would never trade you for anyone else in the world whether they have a pulse or not.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“You know this is how it will always be, right? I’ll always be here, trying some new way to push you away from me. To make you realize that you deserve better.”

“And I’ll always be here to take care of you and make sure you know that my mind will never change.”

“Taking care of me for the rest of your life… talk about the worst job you could get.”

“Only it won’t be a job. Not for me. Not when it’s for you.”

He looks at you then, finally. His big, black eyes staring into yours.

You’ve wished it before, but in this moment you wish you were the one who could read his mind instead of the other way around.

“You’re so stupid,” he smiles, and leans in for a kiss.

Maybe one day he’ll fully believe you.

Alice:

Alice has a tendency to shut down whenever there’s too much going on

Too many people are on the cusp of making decisions that could change their lives

It seems that every person she meets on the street has a vision attached

She can’t take it anymore

You find her curled up in a ball in her room, the TV playing a program you don’t think she’s watching.

Around her are scattered sketchbook pages, each one hastily ripped from the pad and thrown to the floor.

On these pages are drawings of buildings, people, animals, and tragedies. You catch the face of a woman who’s screaming as a bullet heads straight for her face. In another is an open room with a small grenade in the center.

No wonder she’s been so upset.

None of the pages show joy, every single one a warning of a disaster that’s just waiting to happen.

In front of her, there’s a stack of drawings that she’s flipping through. On one of them you catch what looks like your face, only it’s contorted in a scream. In another you see Jasper, but you can’t make out what’s around him.

“Alice,” you call out, and her head whips up. Maybe she hadn’t heard you like you thought she did. “What’s wrong?”

She looks at you like a deer in headlights for a moment, before her eyes glance back down to the papers in front of her.

“There’s nothing wrong. Not yet, at least.”

Her tone is grave. You can hear the desperation for an answer, or at least a break.

You sigh, and move to sit next to her. You reach to take the stack of papers from her, meeting no resistance. If she wanted to keep them from you, she could. But she knew now that fighting you was always going to be useless.

“Alice, I know you can’t control the fact that you see these visions. But you can control how much you obsess over them. This isn’t healthy.”

“I don’t need to be healthy. I can’t die or get sick.”

You sigh again. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. You can’t keep withering away in here obsessing over what might happen.”

“But-“

“No buts.” You say, throwing the stack of papers to the side. “How long ago did you have these visions?”

She thinks for a moment.

“Yesterday, I think.”

“Alright. Have they happened yet?”

“Well, no…”

“From what you saw, are they still a possibility now?”

“…they are… a very low possibility…”

You could see her reluctantly piecing together your words, clearly not wanting to admit her mistake out loud.

“Look, Alice, you know that I’m always touched by you looking out for me, but in moments like this I need to look out for you too.”

She looks into your eyes, then hangs her head again.

“But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. My gift, I should be the one taking care of you-“

“No. There is no ‘supposed to’ anything. Humans aren’t ‘supposed to’ be with vampires and yet here we are. So please just come with me and watch a movie or cuddle or something?”

She looks at you again, then. Staring into your eyes, then glancing around her room, at all of the papers, then back to you. She smiles slightly and floats up to her feet.

“Fine. But I’m picking the movie.”

Jasper:

This is a man who needs some serious love and reassurance

He’s always on edge around you, even if he plays it off like he isn’t

He’s just always so scared of hurting you or doing something wrong

And a lot of the time that manifests as him isolating himself to try and get you to leave him

It was gonna be one of those nights again.

A night that you would spend alone in the bed you were supposed to be sharing with the love of your life, Jasper.

But no. On a night like this, he’s out in the woods, far, far away. Stewing in his feelings and brooding.

You don’t even remember anything happening this time. Sometimes something can set him off; a jab from someone at school, a hug he gave you that ended up being WAY too tight, anything really. Anything that reminds him of how he’s not supposed to be with you.

But right about now, you’re sick of it.

The Cullens have taken to being quieter at night since you’ve started sleeping over a lot more, but you know they’re all here- all except for the one you want.

So it being 2 am won’t bother any of the other residents of the house. You roll out of bed and march your way over to the door, throwing it open (politely) and stomping down the steps.

Emmett is the first one you see, and you decide he’ll be perfect for the job anyway.

“What’s got you going, firecracker?” He asks.

“I need you to go find Jasper and bring him to me. Now. I need to talk to him,” you couldn’t help the anger and frustration that seeped into your voice. Lack of sleep will do that to you.

Emmett stood up straight and gave a stupid salute, “One loner coming right up, boss.”

And with that he was out of the door, and you trudged back upstairs to wait for your boyfriend.

You were laying in the bed, still trying desperately to go to sleep when you heard a light knock on the door. Your eyes flicked open to see Jasper standing in the doorway, looking completely out of place and uncomfortable.

All of your anger left instantly, all you saw was the sweet man who was far too worried for his own good.

You sighed and scooted over, patting the spot next to you.

“Come here, Jasper.”

A look of what could only be described as fear flashed across his face before he shook his head and muttered a small, “i can’t.”

You sighed again and stood up, making your way over to him. When you reached him, you stretched your arms out to take his face in your hands, his eyes wouldn’t meet yours.

“Look, Jas, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I have a pretty damn good idea. You’re not gonna hurt me.”

“You don’t know that,” he says, looking into your eyes, something about the black made him look more human, more scared. “Vampires are already dangerous, but I’m the worst of the worst. You’ve found yourself a faulty cannon amongst rifles, darling.”

You frowned at his analogy, squeezing his perfect face in your hands.

“You are NOT faulty, you hear me? You are perfect. Perfect for me, at least.”

“The perfect man for you wouldn’t be tearing himself up inside trying not to kill you.”

“And a lesser man would have already done it.” He was shocked at that, stunned into silence. He hung his head slightly, not meeting your eyes once more.

“And what if I do hurt you one day? Would you ever forgive me? Could I ever forgive myself?”

“I don’t think you will. But if you do, Carlisle will put me back together and I’ll jump right back into your arms.”

His eyes bore into your soul as he stared at you like you were crazy.

“Why the hell would you do that? Come running right back to me?”

“To make sure you don’t hate yourself for too long. Now come on, I’m tired and I can’t sleep without my personal AC unit.”

He looked at you with disbelief. You knew he didn’t believe you, you don’t know if he ever will.

But that’s okay. You’ll keep him right here, and pull him back to you every time he runs away.

Eventually, he’ll understand that you love him.

Rosalie:

The topic of kids has always been a very touchy one for Rosalie

It’s all she’s ever wanted, and all that she still wants

Most days, the pain is not too much of an issue

But some days, it just gets to be too much

You and Rosalie were walking down the street, hand in hand as you strolled by the different shops and food stands.

The city was busy today, many young couples out and about, shopping, talking, kissing far too passionately to be in public, the usual.

“Rose, do you mind if we sit down for a bit? These shoes Alice chose for me look really nice, but they are so uncomfortable.”

She giggled, but nodded and led you both to a bench. You sat down with a heavy sigh, finally getting off of your feet after what felt like forever (even though it was only about an hour).

Across the way in the little park you’ve both found yourself in, a young couple is sitting on a bench.

The woman has long, flowing, blonde hair that frames her face in loose curls. She’s wearing a gorgeous floral-patterned dress, and on her left hand is quite possibly the biggest, gaudiest ring you have ever seen.

To her right, a man sits, one who bears a striking resemblance to you, regardless of gender.

And in the middle, a little baby. A perfect mix of the two, her hair and his eyes, her nose and his jawline, all swaddled in a cute little onesie.

You’re about to turn to Rosalie to point out the cute baby (she always loves to look and maybe go touch it if the parents allow her to) when you see that she’s already looking.

Her face is grave, like she’s looking at her own headstone. Her face is twisted in grief, and she looks on the verge of tears.

It takes you a second to connect the dots, but once you do, your heart clenches for her.

That woman looks like her, reminds Rosalie of herself. And the man looks like you. And that baby is what she wants, all she’s ever wanted. What she can’t have.

Babies are always hard for her, but this struck a deep chord.

“Rose… do you wanna go home?” You ask softly, not wanting to come off as pushy.

“…”

“Come on, let’s go,” you grab her arm to pull her up, she goes with you, but keeps her head craned back to the young couple the whole time.

Once you’re far away, she breaks down. You’ve never seen a vampire cry, and that’s probably because they can’t. But if they could, Rosalie would be sobbing.

You know it’s bad because she doesn’t even care that she falls to the floor in this dirty, nasty alleyway. Normal Rosalie would rather die 100 times over than get her clothes dirty, especially here.

You sit down next to her, letting her dry heave and gasp into your shoulder, her wails breaking your heart.

You’re helpless here. Cause what can you really do? You can’t give her a kid, she can’t give you one either. You can’t go back in time and stop her from being killed. And you can’t go back and steal that baby from that couple (even though you kind of really want to).

So you just hold her.

You run her hair, pat her back, kiss her head, and whisper into her ear. How much you love her, how she’s perfect, how it’s okay, how you don’t think less of her.

Once she’s calmed down and her breathing has slowed, she looks up at you.

“I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be seeing this side of me.”

“What? I want to be here for you, Rose. I know I can’t fix this for you, but at least I can-“

“Fix it? Darling, don’t worry about fixing me. I’m already completely broken, there’s nothing to fix.”

With that you just take a moment to look at her. Her face screams that she is broken. In her soul, at least. Her and Edward are a lot more similar than they like to think.

“Rosalie. You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you.”

She scoffs at that. “I’m not human. I’d say that’s pretty wrong. Not to mention the fact that I can’t even look at a couple with a baby and not want to violently kill someone.”

“And that’s okay.”

She scoffs again.

“No, really, Rose. I mean it. I’m never ever going to think less of you for something like this. You went through something I can never even imagine and now you’re left to pick up the pieces. Just let me help you.”

She looks at you, her eyes staring into yours. The grief that she’s feeling is evident. But deep in her eyes, you see a touch of something else. Trust, maybe.

“You know, you’re gonna be picking up pieces for the rest of your life.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. Not if it’s you.”

Emmett:

He likes to pretend to be all big and bad all of the time

But in reality, he's still a person

He just has a hard time remembering that sometimes

You don't know where he got all of that energy from.

I mean, realistically, you know that he can never get tired.

But really, even for a vampire this was unnatural.

Some nobody in school had challenged him to an arm wrestle. Of course, he can never resist. He grabbed the guy's hand and prepared to pummel him, only to flinch and have his hand thrown down against the wood of the desk.

The guy had one of those fake shock things in his hand, and as soon as Emmett clamped down it vibrated like crazy.

To say he was pissed would be an understatement.

And now he was taking all of that anger out on the trees around the Cullen house.

"That-" punch "fucking-" punch "ASSHOLE!" punch punch punch

It had been days. And you were honestly getting worried. He hadn't hunted in those days, much less came inside the house. You're surprised the park ranger hasn't come knocking yet.

You heard a hollowed cracking sound and looked to see Emmett standing triumphantly as a rather large oak tree fell to the ground, followed by a guttural roar from the man.

"Emmett," you called, barely above a whisper. But you know he heard you. "Come over here please."

He looks at you with a slightly guilty look, the anger from before fading away as he hangs his head and trudges over to you. He stops just a few feet in front of you, lamely kicking the rocks beneath his toes as he avoids your eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s that stupid fucking guy-“

“No,” you stop him, putting your hand up to silence him. “What’s actually wrong? Don’t tell me you’re seriously this pissed about losing an arm wrestling match with some nobody.”

He just stood there in silence for a second. You took this chance to stand up and grab his face in your hands, instantly he leaned in, perching his head on your palms.

“I just… need to be strong. That’s what I am, I need to be strong,” he whispered, his voice coming out shy and meek.

You just smiled at him sadly and rubbed his cheek.

“I can be strong too you know. So every once in a while you can let me take care of you instead.”

He laughed at that.

“You, strong? As if. I could fold you in half!”

You punched him lightly in the arm.

“You jerk! I’m trying to be sentimental!”

He laughed again and grabbed your hands, bringing them back up to their previous spot cradling his face.

“Ok ok, serious sentimental time.”

You just laughed and kissed him.

Esme:

She has a bad habit of overreacting

Just a dash of anxiety

So when something-anything happens to you, she freaks out

This is bad.

Like really, really bad.

You were supposed to be driving to go see Esme at the Cullen house, but of course your piece-of-shit car decided that now would be a perfect time to break down.

Too far away from home to walk back, too far away from the Cullens to walk there, and the nearest anything was also too far.

Not to mention the snow covering the ground didn’t really entice you to get out of your still-warm car.

So you tried calling someone to come get you.

Only, of course there’s no service out here because why would there be.

Just your luck.

You weigh your options, and decide that walking is just gonna have to do.

You didn’t pack a winter coat because you didn’t think you’d be outside for this long, but you had a blanket stored in your backseat and it was better than nothing.

So off you trekked through the freezing cold winter storm to the Cullen house.

Inside, Esme was (in)patiently waiting.

Your favorite meal was waiting for you, already plated and getting colder by the second on the dining room table.

You said you were on your way 30 minutes ago. It takes about 30 minutes to get from your house to their house.

So where were you?

Her ears perked at the sound of a slowly beating heart coming from down the driveway.

It didn’t sound like one of the foxes or deer that roam around this time of year. No, it sounded a bit bigger, a bit more human.

She was out the door in a flash. Before anyone had the chance to ask what she was doing she was by your side.

“Oh my god, honey, why are you out here?!”

“An angel…” and then you collapsed.

Cue Esme absolutely freaking the fuck out.

She has you in front of a lit fireplace, a heating blanket rested over your shoulders and a warm towel on your head.

She’s pacing back and forth in front of you. She wants to hold you so bad, to kiss you, cuddle you, protect you. But she can’t. She’ll just make the shivers wracking your body even worse.

“Es…” you croak, your eyes blinking open finally.

“Oh my god! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Why were you out there? Where’s your car? Why didn’t you call me?”

“Shhhh,” you whisper, bringing your finger up to shush her. “Just come here.”

You open up your blanket in an invitation to her.

“Are you out of your mind? I can’t cuddle with you right now, I’ll freeze you!”

“Please, you deserve to be taken care of too.”

She crumbles at that, you can see the resolve leaving her face. And then she figures that you won’t get too cold with the heated blanket and everything.

She cuddles up next to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and ducking her head into your neck.

“I’m so sorry, I should have been there. And least of all I shouldn’t be such a mess right now.”

“It’s okay to be a mess, I’ll always be here to hold you.”

Carlisle:

No one really talks about the stress of being a pretend father for a bunch of eternal teenagers

Really, it’s a blessing that he doesn’t need sleep and isn’t affected by long hours

But despite that, he still gets so worn out

Today had been a long day for Carlisle.

It was student-teacher conference day. And while that’s not usually an issue since he always tells the kids to behave, Emmett decided it was necessary to punch a kid last week.

To be honest, Carlisle didn’t really care if the kid was a bully or not, all he viewed it as was something more drawing attention to them.

On top of that, the cattiness between Edward and Rosalie seemed to be especially bad today.

They were at each other’s throats for the better part of the day, and nothing would get them to separate.

At work, at least a dozen new patients showed up. A factory that was close by had a gas leak, very minor. None of the people were harmed at all, but many still insisted on going to the clinic.

Carlisle’s not one to discourage people from getting checked out, but he is one to tell people to go home when they’re fine, which everyone was.

But these people kept insisting something was wrong. A boy with a broken arm had to wait for three hours for a room to open up because the factory workers refused to leave.

By the time he got home, he was exhausted, you could tell. His eyes were heavy, as were his footsteps. His hair was disheveled, he had clearly been running his fingers through it all day from the stress.

He looked like a mess. But even then, he greeted you with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

He always takes such good care of you, whether you’re sick or not, he’s always there with whatever you want.

Now it’s your turn.

“Carlisle, are you busy?” You ask, peeking into his home office. Even after the super long day, he’s a man of habit.

“Not particularly,” he turns to look at you, setting his pen down, “why?”

“Follow me.”

You lead him to the bathroom, where a nice, warm back is drawn. Complete with lilac scented bath oil and two candles lit on the sink.

“The bath looks beautiful, darling. I’m sure the lavender will be great for your skin.”

“Oh, it’s not for me,” you quip. All he does is raise an eyebrow. “It’s for you. I know you’ve had a long day, so go relax and meet me in the bedroom when you’re done.”

You don’t give him a chance to argue before you leave, shutting the door tightly behind you.

He emerges about 30 minutes later, still toweling his hair off.

“Ok now come on over here,” you pat the bed next to you, motioning him to sit there. Again, all he does is quirk and eyebrow but he obliges.

You take the remote to the TV in yours and Carlisle’s room, turning on his favorite movie. A classic one from the silent film era.

“But this… I haven’t seen this movie in years… how did you get it?”

“That’s the beauty of streaming platforms.”

You both sit in silence for a while, Carlisle seemingly happy to just watch his favorite movie after so long. Eventually, he turns to look at you with an inquisitive expression.

“So, what’s all this for?”

“What, am I not allowed to take care of you from time to time?”

He laughs slightly at that.

“A human taking care of a vampire, how twisted.”

You grab his face between your hands at that, drawing him close and looking deep into his yellow eyes.

“It’s not if I want to do it, and I would move the Earth for you.”

“Hopeless romantic,” and with that he kisses you.

Vampire! Bella:

She tends to… shut down

We all know how she was when she couldn’t be with Edward

That translates over

It really wasn’t supposed to be that big of a deal.

Your Spanish class was going to be taking a two week trip to Spain.

Only, Bella wasn’t in Spanish. This time around, she chose to take French. Which was all fine and good, until it meant that she couldn’t go with you.

Cue two weeks of endless calls and texts.

On the phone with you , she sounds fine. But from your calls with Alice, she’s not doing too hot.

She hasn’t been hunting since you’ve been gone, she’s completely stopped going to class, and she also hasn’t talked to anyone in the house.

It’s the last night of your trip, you’re in your hotel room, the girl you’re sharing with is sound asleep in the other bed, but you know one girl who’s never asleep.

You call Bella’s number, and she answers instantly, like she’s been waiting all day for you to call. In all honesty, she probably has.

“Hey, what are you up to?” You can hear the attempt to be nonchalant in her voice, but her eagerness gives her away.

“Oh nothing, I just got off the phone with Alice… wanna tell me why you didn’t leave our room today? Or yesterday? Or the day before?”

You can hear her pause on the line, like she’s trying to come up with a convincing lie, but eventually she sighs.

“I just… I’ve just been missing you a lot, is all. I want you here next to me, I feel incomplete without you.”

Yowch. Right through the heart.

You decide then to help in some way, you don’t know how immediately, but you have to do something.

So you start to hum.

Whenever you have a bad day, Bella hums the song her mom used to sing to her. You always ask her to, and even though she says she isn’t a great singer, she indulges you anyway.

Sometimes it’s the only thing that can stop you from a panic attack or calm you enough to go back to sleep after a nightmare.

You hear her gasp slightly before y he sound of sheets rustling, presumably her laying her head down.

You go through the whole song twice over, Bella never telling you to stop or joining you.

After your voice fades out and the line stays dead for a moment, you swear you can hear Bella overthinking.

“You know, you didn’t have to do that. I’m an apex predator. I shouldn’t be so upset whenever you leave for a little bit.”

You laugh lightly at that, and you can hear her scoff across the line.

“I don’t mind. Especially when it’s you. Bella, I love you and I would do anything for you.”

“Even if I’m a beautiful monster who was designed to kill you?”

“Even if you did kill me, I would hope that my blood nourishes you for months on end.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: this wasn't my planned update but here we go.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Your grandmother is where she always is. In her chair reading her book. She doesn’t look up and you don’t bother saying a word. She’s getting exactly what she’s always wanted and she doesn’t even realise it. She’s getting rid of you. Another thing you’ve done for her that she’ll never acknowledge. 

You go into your room and look around. You sit on the bed and examine each wall. You’re not going to miss this place, just your freedom. There is no illusion left around Andy. He’s shown how far he’ll go to make his will your own. You don’t expect him to ‘take care of you’ as he keeps promising, not in the way it sounds. 

You huff and hold your head. You’re not going to sleep. You don’t have time to. You have to figure out what to take with you. What do you tell your grandmother? She won’t care either way, will she. She’ll finally have her empty nest. At least someone will have what they want. 

You don’t have much to your name. Your switch, your headset, controllers; that’s the expensive stuff. Your clothes are mostly used, easily replaceable. You’re not really worried about dressing up. 

You spend the hours going through every little nook and cranny. You’re not sentimental, you don’t have much that it more than material. Only a box of keepsakes from the few years of your life; a friendship bracelet the neighbour girl gave you before she moved away, some meaningless award you won in grade school for attendance, and the only thing left to you by your parents, besides resent; a baby sweater you wore when they thought they could love you. 

You fit everything you’re taking in a single bag. The rest you box up and drag out to the curb. In the early hours, the house is quiet and you try not to make too much noise. Your grandmother’s snores stir from her room. She’s blissfully ignorant just as always. 

You strip the bed and put the sheets and blanket in the wash. Hopefully you can switch it over before you go. You wipe down the furniture with a wet cloth and dust the corners and the empty closet. You’re covered in sweat and breathless by the time you have the entire space barren. You’re so tired you’re dizzy but closing your eyes only brings Andy’s voice to mind. 

There’s a creak and you raise your head as the ripples dissipate. Your grandmother slouches as she clings to the door handle and scowls. She looks around the room and her grey brow twitches. 

“Eh, what’re you doing?” She growls, “making all this noise.” 

“Leaving,” you shrug. 

“Leaving? To where?” 

You’re dumbfounded she’s even asked. You sit up and show your hands, “gotta go back to school soon anyway so I’m going to crash with Kara. I’ll leave money on the table when I go.” 

“Oh.” 

That’s all she says before she goes. She believes you only because she doesn’t care enough to doubt you. You hang your head and sigh. You can’t help but think of what Andy said. You hate to admit it but he’s right. There’s no one else who wants you. It doesn’t make him a better option, just the only. 

Thinking makes your head hurt. Or maybe that’s the lack of sleep. You check your phone and wrap up the charging cord. Morning already. Nearly 7am. You spent hours clearing out your old life; a life that was never really living. 

There’s a message waiting for you. Two. Both from Andy. The first is a good night you never answered and the second from just twenty minutes ago, asking if you’re awake. You send a thumbs up. That’s all you can handle right now. 

The call comes almost as soon as the message sends and the check mark turns blue. You answer without hesitation. Your so numb to the inevitability of it all, there’s no sense in avoiding any of it. You just want this over with even though you know it won’t be. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” Andy purrs from the other end. Your throat clenches and your cheeks tug into a frown. “How are you?” 

You go to speak and cough, your mouth dry. You clear your throat and rub your forehead as it throbs with the effort, “awake. Packed.” 

“Oh, honey, you sound tired.” 

“Mm,” you hum flatly. 

“I couldn’t sleep either,” he says, “I couldn’t stop thinking of you.” He pauses, waiting for the lies you won’t give him. “Well, when do you wanna head out? Do you need a little more time?” 

“Ready,” you utter. Not really ready but resigned.  

“Sure, sweetheart, I’ll just get myself together and be over in twenty minutes, how does that sound?” 

Why is he asking you like you have a choice? You garble an agreement and hang up. You put the phone down as you sit on the naked mattress and stare. Your head is swimming with fatigue. As you close your eyes, the fear returns. You’re really doing this. 

You fold over your lap and whimper. It’s over, not that it ever really begun. Not that you were ever really expected much. You just wanted to be your own person, have your own space, make your own way. For once in your life, you just wanted to be you. 

Andy isn’t going to let that happen. You don’t know him but you know he wants you to be something you aren’t. Whether it’s delusion or cruelty, you don’t know, but you know something isn’t right. It can never be right. 

You get up and unlock your phone. You key in a message with the last of your strength; ‘meet me at the corner’. You don’t think she’ll bother herself but you wouldn’t want your grandma to see the truth. You’re not sure she’d even care enough to judge you. 

You come out as she grumbles into a coffee cup. You roll your bag behind you and grab your jacket from the hook by the door; a light canvas one you wear in the mornings when the dew chills the air. She stares at the television as the news blares at her. 

“Here,” you take out the little bit of cash you have left to your name and place it on the table at her elbow, “I’m... going now.” 

“Erm,” she grunts and slurps the coffee. She doesn’t even look at you. Should you tell her you’re not coming back? You leave your keys with the money 

You just turn and pull your bag after you to the door, stopping only to put your shoes on. You open the front door and step out into the soft hues of morning. It would be a beautiful day if the world hadn’t gone gray. 

Your bag wheels scratch the pavement behind you, the whole thing jostling at the end of the long handle. You head down to the corner and park yourself on the curb, waiting as your eyes rove the area. You take it all in; the fences, the hedges, the cracked birdbath, and the few welcome signs on doors. 

The low whir of an engine approaches. You know without looking it’s him. But you do. You have to face it. 

“Hey,” Andy steps out as you stand on the curb. “Let me get this, sweetheart.” 

He reaches back inside the car and hits a switch. The trunk opens on its own. Is it pathetic that you’re kind of impressed by that? You’ve only seen trunks that you open with your hands. He lifts your bag inside easily and taps another button, the hatch closing slowly behind him. 

“Come on, you look beat,” he touches your shoulder and you flinch, curling inward as you shake his hand away. “I brought you a coffee. Not the hotel brew, the good stuff.” 

You numbly follow him around to the other side. He opens the car door and you stare at the interior. You take a breath and grab the trim of the door and haul yourself inside. You drop heavily into the seat and your head bounces against the rest. 

He lingers. You feel his gaze on you. He’s expecting something you can’t give him. Not yet. You don’t know if ever. You let out a murmur as he leans in to kiss your cheek. You fight not to show your disgust. 

“Just relax. I’ll drive, you get some sleep, sweetheart,” he caresses your arm. You don’t react. Not a look, not a flinch. 

He shuts the door and walks along the hood. You watch him through the windshield. He’s wearing one of those suits. Dark navy slacks and white shirt with a black tie. You let your head loll and see the matching jacket folded neatly in the back seat. 

He gets in the car, his weight felt in the axle. He hits the button to wake the engine and buckles his belt. He glances over. 

“Hey, safety first.” 

You huff. He's acting like the dad you never had. You click the seat belt into place and turn your face to the window. He inhales deeply and lets it out slow before he puts the SUV into gear. 

“You say goodbye to grandma?” 

“Mm... mhmm,” you grumble. 

“She’ll miss you, huh?” 

Your lip curls and you hide your face as you focus on the houses rolling slowly by. Why is he playing this game? Did he not throw her apathy in your face to get here? 

“Did you bring your switch? We could play some at the hotel,” he offers. 

You close your eyes and ball your fists. It takes everything you have left not to scream and hit him. It’s like he’s rubbing it in. He won! He won! 

And you lost. Just like always. 

“What about Kara?” You ask crisply. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re hoarse. Try some of the coffee,” he reaches to flick the top of a travel mug. You narrow your eyes as you follow the gesture. The purplish pink metal is topped with a white plastic lid. On the side, the outline of a game controller is patterned on the multicoloured finish. “It’s a good brew. Only a few places I’ve found have it. I’ll take you to the shop back home once you’re settled.” 

You’re not arguing with him. You’ve seen how far that gets you. You take the cup and pop the tab on top. You take a tentative sip as you feel the heat within. 

“I added some sugar,” he says. 

“I don’t like sugar,” you snap the lid shut and put the lid back. 

“Oh, sorry, sweetheart,” he chuckles, “guess we have a lot to learn about each other.” 

“Kara,” you insist again. 

He sighs and taps his fingers on the wheel, “I called last night. They’re holding her so we can pay the bond.” 

We? He’s not subtle. You sniff as your back racks with the sort of achiness that comes from being so tired. 

“I’ll talk to them. Get the charges knocked down. If anything, I can get them piled onto that boy she keeps around. He’s trouble, if I’ve ever seen it--” 

“Seen?” You echo, “have you... seen him?” 

He hesitates and his cheek dimples under his dark beard. He stares at the road ahead as his lips move as if he’s talking silently. Finally, he answers. 

“I only wanted to make sure you were safe. I know better than any that hanging out with the wrong crowd can get you into a lot of trouble--” 

“No, Andy, tell me. Were you watching her too?” You sit up with effort. 

“You should sleep, it’s a long drive,” he girds. 

“Andy, tell me--” 

“I had too. You cut me off and I had to be sure you were okay,” he insists. “And you weren’t. Not really. Sweetheart, things are going to be a lot better. Together. You just can’t see it right now because you never--” 

“Oh, I know what I’ve never had,” you fall back and slump against the door, “you don’t need to keep reminding me.” 

A roiling silence fills the compartment. He exhales again and slows as his blinker clicks noisily. He turns onto the next road as you feel his anxiety. Or maybe it’s your own. 

“I’m sorry. I only want...” he trails of as he measures his words, “I want to take care of you. To give you all that stuff. I don’t want you to feel bad.” 

“I’m tired,” you snip and fold your arms. 

“Right,” he says tensely, “yeah, get some sleep. Easier to talk after.” 

Talk? You’re done talking to him. He only says the same thing over and over again.  

[holylulusworld]

Vulnerable (4)

Summary: Professor Xavier entrusts you with the mission to locate a certain mutant with unknown consequences.

Pairing: Alpha!Wolverine x Omega!(Mutant)Reader

Characters: Jean Grey, Scott Summers

Warnings: angst, language, gruff Wolverine, a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, implied true mates, you are on the run, mentions of the death of a loved one (sister), a lil Jean/Scott hate in this, foreshadowing

A/N: Jean is not Dark Phoenix in this story. The reader is stronger than both Professor Xavier and Jean Grey. She is a telepath, telekinetic, and empath. Most of the time, she suppresses her powers.

Catch up here: Inseparable

Undefeated masterlist

“Never!” Logan growls while speeding off, “Get inside my head ever again! If you do, I’ll split your skull with my claws.”

You laugh, because Logan wouldn’t get the chance to get close to you, and reply, “Believe me, buddy. Getting inside your messed-up mind is the last thing I want to do. Now drive more carefully. There’s no one following us. At least, for now. I try to make us invisible.”

“You can turn things invisible too?” He cocks a brow but focuses on the street. “What the fuck are you?”

“Aw, you’re cute when clueless.” You pat his thigh and squeeze it tightly. “I cannot turn things invisible. I’ll cover our traces using my powers. If anyone tries to find us, I’ll manipulate their minds. Now stop distracting me and drive.”

“You should sleep or do whatever you do after you split into two,” he huffs and slams his hands onto the steering wheel. “That was suicidal, kid!”

“I’m not a kid,” you growl. “Do I look like a kid to you?” You narrow your eyes at Logan. "Maybe everyone under one hundred is a kid to you, but stop acting like you are the adult in this team!”

“We’re not a team, k—” he grits his teeth. “After I dropped you at Xavier’s freak house, I’m out of this shitshow for good. I told Charles that I’m not the kind of man for teamwork or his X-Men.”

“Yeah, I can relate,” you prop your feet onto the dashboard, earning a growl from Logan. “Relax, old man.” You smirk when he glances at you for a second. He squares his jaw, and his muscles are tense. “What? You can call me kid, but I cannot call you old man.”

“Someone should teach you some manners!” Logan grits out. “Maybe I’m that one.”

You lean close and place your hand on his arm. “Please don’t hurt yourself, old man. I don’t want to fix your back because you got hurt.”

“You know about my healing factor, right?” He bites back. “I don’t need your help to feel better.”

“Aw, but sweetie,” you move your hand up and down his arm, causing him to shiver. “I swear, if I ever helped you feel better, you’d believe you ended up in heaven.”

You pull away, smirking because it seems you got under the old grump’s skin.

“One day, someone will break your neck,” he replies, his voice a little raspier than before. “And I won’t stop them.”

Snorting, you turn to the right side to get some sleep. You wave your hand, and a green aura surrounds your body. “I’ll sleep now. Only wake me if the car is on fire or we reached our destiny.”

“What if you are on fire?” He grins, and you chuckle.

“Just let me burn, old man,” you yawn. “I’ve got this. I’m fire- and bulletproof.”

Logan furrows his brows, wondering if you try to mess with him again. He must admit, your powers are impressive and downright scary.

“Wake up!” Logan gruffly calls your name. He pokes your thigh. “You’re lucky that you’re not on fire; neither is the car.”

You slowly sit up, stretching your sore limbs before you open the door to leave the car. Hours spent in the same position gave you more kinks in your back than you’d like to admit.

“Good, you didn’t crash the car,” you grumble under your breath. “You don’t need a babysitter all the time. That’s progress.”

Logan glares at you for a second but doesn’t say a thing. Being here, back at the X-Men headquarters and Xavier’s school of gifted youngsters, brings back memories he’d like to forget about.

“Can you not talk for like five minutes?” he huffs and gets out of the car. Logan slams the door shut, muttering under his breath. “Why did you have to bring me here? I was done with this life.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” you huff. “And if you didn’t scream grumpy grandpa for crying out loud, I’d consider letting you go, but…” You smirk as he stalks toward you. “I can’t let a senior walk around the area on his own. You could get lost.”

“One day someone will teach you a lesson,” he snarls and slides his claws out. “I’ll be that one.” Logan grins as you take another step toward you. “This old man will teach you some manners too.”

You chuckle at his playful tone. It’s a distraction from his racing heart and the fear you can sense coming deep from within his soul. Being here is hard for him. You know that feeling.

“I see, you found him,” the gate creaks open behind you. Scott and Jean walk toward the car, and you already feel nauseous. Jean tries to see into your mind; a habit you never liked. She always wanted to control you since you first joined the X-Men. One of the reasons you left the team is to not feel like a guinea pig any longer.

“I always find them,” you reply, trying not to sound too annoyed. “If not, the professor wouldn’t have asked for my help. Here’s your lost sheep and the one you call Stryker.” You jerk your head toward the car. “He’s out cold. Tell me when you are ready to interrogate him. I’ll wake the sleeping beauty for you.”

“What did you do to him?” Jean is more concerned about you hurting a human than the fact that Stryker and his soldiers would’ve enslaved you and Logan.

“Oh, that wasn’t her,” Logan chuckles as Scott steps closer to him. “It was her cute alter ego. You know, the red aura crap running off to get a pound of flesh of the bastard in the back of my truck.”

“You hurt them,” Scott furrows his brows. He always was a softie and never knew when you have to end someone who’s evil through and through.”

"Well, it was a us or them kind of situation,” you shrug. “They were well-trained killers. What did you think will happen?” You glare at Scott. “I sent the first group home because they were newbies and didn’t kill innocent mutants for their fun. The others…” You dip your head to smirk at Scott, "They didn’t get so lucky. I sense evilness when I face it.”

“You used her again,” Jean chides while checking on Stryker’s vital functions. “I told you to never use her again!”

“She has a name!” Your aura turns from green to violet. “I told you not to treat her like an enemy, or even worse, a weapon you can use to your liking, but if I use my powers, then I’m the bad guy.”

“She?” Logan wonders aloud. He watches you take deep breaths, like in the bar, or before you unleashed your alter ego. This time your aura turns green, and it vanishes. “Did I miss something?”

“I told you, she’s my alter ego,” you turn around to face Logan. Your features soften feeling his confusion and the need to get away from Scott and Jean. “She’s…” You drop your gaze and sigh deeply.

“I came with you and even let you comb through my brain. You owe me an answer, Y/N!” Logan insists.

“Okay,” you nod, and place your hand on his chest. You look him in the eye, a kind of sadness in your eyes tearing through his very soul. “Professor Xavier brought me here when I was just a kid. After men like Stryker experimented on me and my…” You choke out a sob, “Twin sister.”

“Oh…” He can’t come up with an appropriate reaction, so he offers a cracked smile.

“We were both special; at least they told us so. Most of the time, we talked using telepathy or exchanged the food they gave us using our telekinesis. One day, they brought us into a room. ” You wipe your eyes. “There was another mutant, a very strong one. It was the most powerful being I ever encountered. They told us to fight him; and we did, but…”

“Shouldn’t we head inside?” Scott tries to stop you from telling your story to a man he never trusted. “Y/N?”

You ignore Scott and the fact that Jean tries once again to get a glimpse of your thoughts. You just look at Logan when a single tear rolls down your cheek. “He threw a shockwave in my direction. I was too stunned to react, and she…she just jumped in front of me, grabbing my hand and smiling as the shockwave tore her apart. Right in front of my eyes, my twin sister turned into dust.”

“I—I’m so sorry,” Logan finally gets out as your aura turns gray.

“It wasn’t her end,” you murmur. “Not completely. A part of her,” you smile now, and wave your hand to let the aura float around Logan. “I call it her soul; she stayed with me. Since that day, our powers have fused, and she’s there to protect me whenever I need her.”

“The aura is your sister?” He asks.

“A part of her is inside the aura I can create,” you murmur. “I can feel her, just like I felt her fuse with me that day.”

“That’s the most tragic story I ever heard, and I heard a lot of tragic stories,” Logan cracks a smile, making you chuckle. “Trust me, you win the award for the saddest story ever.”

You’re thankful for his reaction. He doesn’t try to tell you how sorry he is and that everything will turn out well. Logan is just…Logan. You are about to give him a witty comment when you sense an incredible power getting closer.

Your aura turns red immediately. You look at Jean, telling her to get Stryker and Scott inside. That power, you know it…

“He’s here. He’s coming for us. I didn’t feel him before, but I do now.” You use your telekinesis to send Logan flying. He lands behind the fence, the one you close and lock with your powers. “Get him inside. Protect him at all costs.”

You turn around, waving your hands, letting the aura dance in the air.

“Y/N…no!” Jean gasps when she watches your aura turn from red to black, your ultimate form. “Noooo! You’re going to kill us all!” She screams when you tell them to run inside the mansion. "You can't control this!"

“No, only he will die today.” Your voice doesn’t sound like your own any longer.

A part of your aura surrounds your body, but the rest turns into ten versions of yourself. You stand in line, nodding at each other.

The day has finally come. You’ll get your revenge on Stryker and the monster killing your sister.

Tags in reblog.

[onyourhyuck]

Trigger The Fever. | Huang Renjun (M)

↳ prologue: “You don’t have to act so tough. It’s ok to let other people care for you sometimes.” + “You can call me a mom all you want, but I’ll will get you better soon.”

↳ summary: You have a fever and your roommate who you have deep feelings for decides to take a day off to take care of you.

↳ the warnings: Roommate crush!renjun. domestic Renjun taking care of you while you’re ill. Crack and wholesome. Little hint of flirting. Fem reader.

↳ the notes: I have a fever and I’m starting to become sick so, I made this fanfic as inspiration. Fml I’m on holiday I’m not supposed to be sick ;-;

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You hate being sick the most. You hate having the smallest cold, you hate feeling terrible to the point it ruins your entire day. One slip of a cough and you’re praying to lord above it’s not a cold.

The last time you have gotten sick badly was around high school, a few years back now. Unlike other children, you never wanted to take a day off from school. You disliked being home alone, bed ridden with a fever like you are right now.

Being an Uni student doesn’t make you afford to take illness lightly, you have exams soon. You have places to be, you have a schedule to follow, a routine people can call it. Now that you’re stuck with a high fever, red cheeks and sore head, you stayed home. You couldn’t get up in the morning and on the other side your roommate was another problem.

Huang Renjun is your roommate. He’s a great guy, very laid back, relaxed and compassionate. But he is far too compassionate. He took a day off because he was worried sick about you, all it took was seeing your unpleasant expression and he immediately knew you were sick, it’s like that mother effect he has on him; he just knows when you’re feeling low on energy. He knows when you’re struggling just by staring into your eyes, and he knows when you are down the weather. He’s motherly with you, people often say you are lucky to have such a kind roommate who’s willing to take care of you. But you’d disagree. You don’t want to appear weak to anyone. You can take care of yourself you tell people but you run on two hour sleep, you overwork yourself and you tend to overthink absolutely everything.

The lifestyle you lead is not that healthy that you claim it to be and Renjun knows all too well. At some point he saw you never come out of your room for like a whole week because you were busy doing the art exam project that was coming on deadline but you were far behind. Luckily you made it but the outcome was Renjun scolding you and running a warm bath for you immediately. He told you to never leave yourself become like that again.

You had to promise him you wouldn’t and you really never let work consume you like that ever again. Though you still are a workaholic.

He barged into your room with a cold glass of water and a pill for you to take, it will make the fever go down. He then sits on your bed as you sit up with a scowl at his presence. “Renjun i said I’m fine.” You huff out like a child. The boy didn’t believe you, god you’re such a bad liar, just one look at the state you are in and he knows it’s lies coming out of your mouth.

“You don’t have to act so tough. It’s ok to let other people care for you sometimes.” Renjun tells you with a scolding look,bringing the pill in your hands. You glare at him before slipping the pill on your tongue and taking a quick gulp of the cold water running down your dry throat. It stings you and you exclaim loudly with a heavy breathe, pushing the water on the bed stand table.

You reply lowly. “I can’t.”

He looks at you raising an eyebrow up, once laying his eyes at you they start to go softer. The sight of your frown, curved eyebrows and watery eyes ponder his sight of you. Your loose grey shirt revealing the dainty collarbones and the clear skin of your freckles invade his thoughts of worry. It’s hard for you to open up to someone, it’s hard for anyone if they grew up being independent for so long by themselves. Renjun can understand it, he can, he might never of been independent like you have, but he can be sympathetic of your situation. He leans closer as you whisper to your roommate. “I’m not used to all this being taken care of.”

“I understand. Trust me, I do. But it’s not bad if it’s me, okay?” He slowly encourages you and you could only nod. It’s fair, you live together. Splitting the rent together 50/50. Might as well let him take care of you. “Fine Mother.” You quote and he grins a little at your words. God you’re so sassy, if it was anyone else he wouldn’t let it slide but it’s you. He lets you get away with things that he wouldn’t with others. You don’t know that though.

He hums out a soft laugh. “You can call me a mom all you want, but I’ll will get you better soon.” He said determined and you lay back, groaning out suddenly. The incoming migraine really you doing laps, it was striking your eyes too. Your ears hurt and your throat was burning intensely. The flu was going to get worse over the days but hopefully you get rid of it soon. You cannot miss more of University.

Renjun alarmed, touched your forehead for a moment. He let out a slight gasp at how you are burning so much, you can’t help but with your feverish cheeks look at him with wide eyes. The closeness between you has you curling in your bedsheets and pulling up the blanket to your chest and your lips. You had bitten your lip nervously at how close he actually was, you could feel his teeth clatter in worry, his breathing was slapping your forehead and you felt the way his hands were pressing on your mattress on the side to keep maintaining his sit up posture so he wouldn’t fall on top of you. You never noticed it until now how pretty he was. How perfect he was. It’s honestly such a surprise he has no girlfriend. He’s talented at art too. You both met each other on the same course at University in first year, spoke a few times. It wasn’t until last year you decided to live with someone and Renjun offered his place, ever since then you and Renjun lived together in the apartment.

Remaining close, he curses silently. “God you’re burning up so much. Hopefully that medicine you had will work soon.” He taunts at you and you stammer. “Stop worrying so much…it’s just a flu.” You tell him going on your side avoiding his eyes. The kindness he shows to you, it melts your tough act away. You can’t pretend to be strong around him and you have no idea why. He sees through you as if you were the most obvious being in the entire world. He can read you instantly. Others can’t.

He chuckles out. “Being sick, you’re almost more as transparent at lying than normally.”

You glare. “I’m not lying. Trust me you’re being dramatic.” You tell him again and Renjun hums, not believing you, you knew that he doesn’t believe you. You turn around about to go and kick him with your feet because the teasing he’s doing was enough but he caught your ankle and smiles. He’s smiling because he took your mind off of the pain for just a little moment. Even if it was a second or two, you were glad he was there even if you’re insufferable at times. He leans closer pushing your ankle back down. “Committing violence on your roommate?” He questions with an eyebrow raise.

You sit up leaning closer. “I’m starting to regret not locking the door.”

His hands reaches the hair strands covering your face. You had your hair a completely mess because it was the bed hair from the morning but even so, Renjun and you were comfortable enough to show each other your morning faces, your tired faces, your hangover selves. You saw each other at the darkest and at the happiest. Now he saw you at your sickness self and he can’t help but still think you are as beautiful as when you are healthy. Pushing the strands from your eyes you flinch a little but lean closer again, he tuck the hairs behind your ears and observed your round and big eyes; he always thought you represent bambi really well, because you had such an angelic face, round doe-like eyes. But your personality was fiery, strong, patient and hard working. You care a lot than people can imagine. Your breathe comes out as a hitch.

“You should get some sleep, Y/n.” Renjun slowly tells you and you bite your dry lips anxiously. The moment he stood up about to leave, you rush out of your bed and grab him by the shoulders making him turn around. However you got up too quickly for your body to comprehend such sudden movement and your dizziness got the better of you, you fell right in his chest and thankfully, Renjun was quick enough to hold your weight and gasps. “Y/n, you should stay in bed!” Renjun exclaims at your impulsiveness. You look up with beads of sweat rushing down your forehead. You want to tell him you hate being alone when you are sick. You want to tell him to stay with you until you get better. But you’re scared it might come off as demanding, as too selfish because he has done so much for you already.

He looks at you with confused and bafflement. Seriously what’s got you this riled up? “Y/n please go back to bed, a nap will fix everything okay?” He tells you and you clench on the side of his arms, shaking your head in silence frantically.

“No! Please, don’t go.” You tell him. You are begging him, for the first time he heard you say no and pleading almost as if you’re terrified to be alone. He follows you to the edge of your bed, tucking you back in as he sighs a little. “Okay. I’m here. I’ll stay.”

You aren’t letting go off his arm. Clenching his loose hoodie by the arms tighter, your eyes close and you whisper. “You won’t stay. I cant sleep.” You state back and he lets out a soft smile.

He can tell you want him to stay here, until you’re better. Renjun suddenly goes on the other side of your bed getting in. Lifting the duvet and the blanket he pours it over his body and holds you close, wrapping arms around your body. You felt your cheeks become warmer, and he saw the way your blush intensely increased. You didn’t complain. You only brush yourself deep on his bed and rest on his chest. Closing your eyes again. He trigger’s your fever, but you felt yourself loving this one.

“If you wanted me to sleep with you, you could’ve said.” Renjun whispers and you lowly murmur. “Isn’t it weird to ask you to sleep on the same bed as your roommate?”

“No. Not if it’s you.” Renjun reassures you. If it’s you anything is okay. “Come on, I’ll take a much-needed nap with you. Then we’ll both feel alright.”

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! REBLOG THIS FANFIC AND FOLLOW ME FOR MORE IF YOU ENJOYED <3

[toasttt11]

snow day

November 22, 2023

Macklin closed the door to his car locking it, he swung his backpack over his shoulder and walked through the falling snow into the apartment building, he headed down the hallway and knocked on the door.

Gemma opened the door smiling softly seeing Macklin, “Hi Macky.” Gemma moved over letting him walk in as she closed the door behind him.

“Hi Hopey.” Macklin smiled softly back as he dropped his backpack to the floor and slipped off his winter coat and boots, he looked up and smiled softer at the sight of his best friend, she was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a purple long sleeve that was hanging off her one shoulder.

Gemma gently grabbed his hand and he picked his backpack up, she dragged him to the couch where she was working on school cuddled up under a bunch of blankets and she plopped down on the couch pulling Macklin down next to her.

Macklin opened up his back pack pulling out his computer and starting his homework sitting next to Gemma.

Macklin and Gemma must of sat there for a few hours not even realizing they haven’t gotten up at all and how late it had gotten but it was already past midnight when they both got an email and opened it.

The two didn’t realize over the few hours they were doing homework how heavy the snow was coming down and quickly too, both schools canceled school for the next as most people are already snowed in and the storm had only barely started.

“Did you get the email too?” Macklin questioned leaning over her shoulder looking at her computer.

“Yeah.” Gemma nodded softly not minding the fact she didn’t have school tomorrow.

They shared a look and got off the couch looking outside only being able to see snow with the street lights and they could see the snow already covering top of cars.

“Well i’m stuck here.” Macklin slowly nodded as he saw his car completely covered in snow and he wouldn’t be able to drive on the road.

“That’s ok.” Gemma shrugged not minding at all that Macklin would stay here.

Macklin gave her a slightly nervous look even though they have had sleepovers many times before something felt a little different tonight.

“I’ll get us some food.” Gemma told him heading to the kitchen, Macklin let out a nervous breath but started cleaning up all of their homework knowing they shouldn’t be doing anymore tonight and get some sleep after they eat.

He headed to the kitchen seeing Gemma heating up some meal plans, Gemma looked up hearing him walk in, “Sorry it’s boring but i’m exhausted.” Gemma usually would easily cook them something but she was way to tired to cook anything and wouldn’t be safe to cook anything that tired. Besides she does have quite a feel meal plans in her fridge on days she can’t cook.

“It’s more than okay, thank you Hopey.” Macklin felt grateful for anything, he wasn’t the best cook and he knew anything Gemma gave him would he better than what he would make himself.

Gemma sent him a soft smile and slid the dish across the counter towards him and she brought hers and sat down next to him.

Gemma listened as he talked about the game he played a few hours ago and put her input in once in a while.

Macklin stood up grabbing the dishes before Gemma could and gave her a stern look stopping her from cleaning up. Macklin cleaned up the dishes.

Gemma face was soft as she watched him move around her kitchen cleaning up after them.

Gemma knew of her feelings for Macklin, she’s known since the night of their prom and the way the whole night was so special and it was all because of Macklin, she knows she falling in love with him and truthfully she is not scared of that.

“Come on let’s get some sleep.” Gemma offered her hand to Macklin and took him to her bedroom.

“You know i can sleep on the couch.” Macklin protested blushing slightly as he held her hand and she took him to her bedroom.

“Macky we’ve shared a bed before.” Gemma gave him a look over her shoulder.

“Well i don’t want you think i have to sleep in your bed.” Macklin softly protested feeling bad having to make her share his bed.

“Macky, if i wasn’t comfortable with you sleeping in my bed i wouldn’t have offered.” Gemma turned around facing Macklin reassuring him. Macklin slowly nodded and gave her a smile.

Gemma pulled back the covers and jumped into bed getting underneath all of her blankets and opening the other side of the covers towards Macklin.

Macklin hesitantly climbed into the bed next to laying stiff next to her. Gemma shook her head fondly and scooted closer to him resting her head on his shoulder feeling him relax.

Macklin took a deep breath and hesitantly wrapped his arm around her shoulder, he felt her relax even more as she cuddled up against him more.

Macklin slowly felt his eyes start fluttering shut and before he knew he was fast asleep.

November 23, 2023

Macklin woke up feeling a weight on his side and an arm draped across his stomach, he froze for a second before remembering he slept in Gemma’s bed, he looked down seeing Gemma looking completely peaceful laying on his chest and he felt his heart pounding as he started at the girl he has a crush on for over a year now and nerve has told her.

Macklin hasn’t remembered the last time he had slept that good, he knew it was because Gemma was in his arms most of the night.

He gently picked up the bottom of her hair playing with the tips as he listen to the sound of the snow falling outside.

Macklin turned his head slight seeing it almost ten in the morning and was glad they didn’t have school so they could sleep in, Macklin knowing that Gemma and him both love sleeping and hating waking up early.

Gemma shuffled slight burrow her face against her chest, she let out a soft groan as she started waking up.

Gemma froze slightly when she realized she was cuddling with Macklin still and he had his arm around her but then relaxed realizing he stayed.

She made a happy sound and peered up at Macklin who was looking at her with a soft expression that made her stomach flutter.

“Hi.” Macklin whispered softly, gently putting her hair down and brushing her hair from her face tucking it behind her ear.

Gemma tried not to lean into his touch but smiled softly, “Hi.”

Macklin leaned over pressing a slow kiss to her forehead and pulled back slightly, “Yogurt Bowls?” Macklin knew Gemma was always pretty hungry when she woke up and so was he, also one of their favorite breakfast foods has always been yogurt bowls.

“Please!” Gemma smiled happily and gently and reluctantly moved away so Macklin could get up.

Gemma watched him head to the bathroom for a few minutes before he came out gave her a smile and headed out of the bedroom.

Gemma let out a breath and got up headed to the bathroom doing her morning routine before she walked into the kitchen seeing Macklin already down with the bowls and waiting for her.

She smiled walking to the barstools, she sat down and kissed Macklin on the cheek, “Thank you.” She quickly started eating she didn’t see the blush all over Macklin’s face.

“Of course Hopey.” Macklin muttered extremely flustered but distracted himself eating his bowl.

Gemma quickly finished her food and looked out the window seeing all the snow outside.

Macklin put the bowls in the sink and turned seeing Gemma look out the window at all the snow, he smiled fondly knowing Gemma adores the snow, “Wanna go outside?” He did not like the snow but he would go outside anytime if he gets the reaction he just got from her.

Gemma whipped her head around with a beaming smile almost bouncing with excitement, “Please!”

And that reaction made it all worth it for Macklin, he smiled and nodded.

Gemma squealed happyy and quickly hurried to the front entrance and started pulling on her snow clothes giving him an impatient look seeing him standing there, Macklin laughed but pulled on some snow clothes and slipped his jacket on.

Macklin looked over seeing Gemma already done waiting at the door for him and once she saw he was done she opened the door rushing out of her apartment to the front lobby and to the outside.

Gemma happily fell backwards into the snow making a snow angel in the snow, she giggled as she stuck her tongue out catching snowflakes.

Macklin smiled walking at a slower pace over to her and plopping down next o her and felt his head hit the soft power.

He turned his head facing Gemma watching her look up at the sky before she dragged her eyes away from the sky and to him and seeing Macklin already looking at her.

“What?” Gemma breathed out always feeling nervous when Macklin looks at her like that.

“You are so beautiful.” Macklin slowly shook his head reaching his gloved hand over to her pink cheeks wiping off a snowflake.

Gemma smiled softly and leaned her head closer to Macklin.

Macklin nervously gulped seeing her face so close to his, he let out a nervous breath and leaned forward, “Can i kiss you?” Macklin whispered the words he has wanted to ask the last year.

“I thought you never ask.” Gemma whispered back and leaned toward him letting her lips hit against his cold lips, it was like a puzzle piece connecting for the first time. Macklin hand slip to the back of her head tangling in her hair under her beanie.

They both pulled back letting out little relieved laughs as they started at each other with wide smiles and pink cheeks and snowflakes caught on their eyelashes.

“Is it too early to ask you to be my girlfriend.” Macklin mumbled nervously to her.

Gemma let out a small giggle but shook her head fondly, “No, No it isn’t.”

“Good, Will you be my girlfriend?” Macklin smiled nudging his nose gently to her nose.

“Yes.” Gemma giggled nodding her head and pressed her lips back to his.

They pulled back and Gemma smiled softly at her now boyfriend and as much as she wished to stay laying in the snow all day with Macklin she could tell he was freezing.

Gemma always found it so funny that Macklin can be on the ice all day and not be cold but the second he is off the ice, he suddenly is always cold.

“Come on Macky. Let’s warm you up.” Gemma reluctantly got up off the snow and held out her hand to him, Macklin grabbed her hand soflty standing up from the snow feeling himself shivering.

Gemma held onto his hand as they walked back into the apartment building and to her apartment, Gemma opened the door and they walked into the warm apartment.

“I’ll start a warm shower for you.” Gemma spoke softly as they slipped out of their wet snow clothes and hung it up in the entrance way, she grabbed his hand as they walked down and into her bathroom she turned the shower on and made sure it was warm.

“Go on, i’ll get you some clothes.” Gemma smiled softly seeing Macklin looking at her, he nodded and gave her a smile as she walked out of the bathroom closing the door.

Gemma headed to her dresser grabbing a pair of sweatpants and shirt she had stolen from Macklin. She grabbed a towel from her linen closet and walked back to the bathroom door hearing him in the shower and knocked on the door, she heard him speak and she opened the door laying the towel and clothes on the counter before heading out of the bathroom closing the door.

Gemma grabbed a pair of pajamas and changed out of her wet clothes, she put on a pair of fuzzy socks before she walked into the kitchen pulling out two mugs and starting to make hot chocolate.

Macklin got out of the warm shower and put on the clothes Gemma and he threw his wet clothes and towel in her hamper before stealing one of her oversized hoodies slipping it on.

He walked towards the kitchen smelling hot chocolate and got excited, he walked in smiling seeing Gemma topping two mugs with whip cream, He walked behind her wrapping his arms around her waist resting his head on her chin, “Thank you.” Macklin whispered to his now girlfriend.

“Always.” Gemma soflty replied holding up the mug for him, Macklin reluctantly unwrapped one of his hands from Gemma and grabbed the mug quickly drinking it not caring that’s its so hot.

“Careful!” Gemma laughed scolding him, she knew how much Macklin loves hot chocolate.

Macklin just shrugged happily drinking his hot chocolate.

[hannahssimblr]

I’m pretty sure I’ll throw up, it’s not a matter of if, but when. I sit shivering and grey faced in the boys changing room at nine o’clock, Friday morning and wish I was dead. Actually, I’ve wished I was dead rather consistently for the duration of the morning, from the moment I woke up at seven after maybe two hours of sleep, while preparing my sister’s breakfast, while showering, dressing myself in my horrible uniform and for the whole seafront walk to the school gates, where I kept imagining cars swerving over the cycle path and mercifully mowing me down. 

“Jude, man, what time you get home at last night?” Fitzy is in my ear, “I’m so hungover, man, my head is bloody pounding.”

“Dunno,” I reply, “Not long after you I’d say,” through the aura of my vicious migraine I peer at my phone screen where one new message notification blinks at me. 

Jude, darling. Just thinking of you after our call. I hope you’re doing okay. I know I shouldn’t be worried but if you want to talk again tomorrow I am available. Lots of love & miss you every day. xoxox Maureen. 

Jesus Christ. Did I call Aunt Maureen last night? I check my call log to see that indeed, I made a long distance call to New Mexico at four in the morning. A seven minute call. A groan of despair escapes me. I have no recollection. What did I say to her? Something unhinged enough to warrant this anxious text message, whatever it was. I bet I was an incoherent, embarrassing mess. 

Sorry Maureen, it’s all good. I was just a bit homesick. We should catch up properly at the weekend if you’re free. No need to worry. X J

It’s a cruel thing, P.E first thing on a Friday morning, but Mr. Doherty, a likely sadist, seems to love it. This is the same man who scheduled an African drumming workshop the day after our junior cert results came out, knowing full well what he would be inflicting upon a classroom full of hungover sixteen year olds. 

He’s got a basketball in his hands today, bouncing it around the gym floor with his legs spread out about a metre apart. I don’t know why he stands like that, though I suspect perhaps it's a part of his lifelong quest to become the world's most intimidating man and take up the maximum amount of space possible. I made up a story about seeing him on a public bus seat with his legs at a 180 degree angle once, and I still hear it repeated sometimes as though it's fact.

He’s going on about teams, explaining something involving those smelly polyester bibs that nobody has washed since 1972, but I am distracted by the sunlight from the windows edging the ceiling and the way that is so unmanageably bright. Doherty pulls the first of the neon bibs out of the bucket and the sight of it, the colour, the sweat stains around the armpits, makes my stomach lurch. 

“Bib, Turner,” he barks as he throws it at me and I catch it, along with a whiff of stale sweat and Jurassic era skin cells and I drop it right onto the floor, guts churning as I race to the toilets and retch and puke, fallen to my knees inside the filthy stall until there’s nothing left inside me. 

“Classic Jude,” someone is saying when they all filter into the changing rooms afterwards while I still clutch the bowl. I must be here forty minutes now. “Always throwing up.” 

“Y’alright?” Someone else calls out, and I groan. “Well Doherty wants you when you’re done. He’s waiting in the gym.”

“Fuck sake,” I fist my hair in my hands and considering knocking myself out and getting the nurse to send me home.

It’s another few minutes until I trust myself to exit the bathroom, and then, like a shell of a boy, I trudge out to the gym on rubber legs to where Doherty waits beneath a basketball hoop. 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while,” He begins, his voice echoing through the rafters.

“Uh huh,”

“It’s Friday. Jude. It’s a school day. How is it that you think you can show up to class in this state?”

“Dunno, sir.”

“I know that you’re a smart boy, right? You know better than this. So when you’re at school, that means you come prepared, well rested, homework done, and in a decent, respectable state, do you understand? You can’t be off doing whatever you like with your evenings, especially if you’re going to show up to my class like this. I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you.”

“Yes sir.”

“This is an insult to me, do you hear what I’m saying? You think because it’s P.E on Friday that you can rip the piss? That you don’t have to take it as seriously as other classes?”

“No, Sir.”

“You’re the same at my Rugby practises too these days, you’ve gone all soft and unfit on me. Is this why? Are you out galavanting every night of the week?”

I hesitate, “Some.”

“Is the boom back already? Sex drugs and rock n roll and whatnot.”

“I dunno what any of those things are.”

“Oh, give me a bloody break. You think I was born yesterday? I could smell your type a mile away, and this is my last straw. I want to see you in detention today from four to five.”

I leap to attention, “Wait, no, sir, I can’t do detention.”

“Seriously, Turner? Are you joking me right now?” “Yes, no, honestly sir. I have an agreement with the school. I don’t have to do detention on Fridays, ask the vice principal, I have-”

“Well that’s the biggest load of bollox I ever heard, do you know that? Special agreement,” he scoffs, “Yeah, pull the other one.”

“I’ll do it Monday, I promise, I just can’t tonight.”

“You’re heading out again, is it? More partying? More drinking and acting the mick? I don’t think so. Detention at four.”

“But sir, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Decision is final, and if you’re not there, consider yourself suspended.” 

I pace the yard at lunchtime waiting for a call to connect. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh, Trisha, hi, it’s Jude Turner, um, Ivy’s brother?”

“Oh Jude, sweetheart, how are you keeping?”

“Good, yeah, uh, just wondering, are you picking her up from school today?”

“As usual… unless something has changed? She and Ella were planning to work on some sort of group project for school, but if you want to come and get her earlier…”

“No, this is about her piano lesson.”

“Yes, I expect I’ll drop her off at four as I always do…”

“Right, yes, is there any chance that maybe you could collect her too? Just for this week.”

She hisses through her teeth, “Ahh, well you know that we have swimming lessons Fridays at five, we’ll have to be straight on the road… is there going to be a problem collecting her?”

“Um, no, just school stuff, there’s a chance I’ll be delayed.”

“What about your mum, sweetie?” 

“She works until six usually,” there’s dead air on the line and I quickly babble on to fill the silence, “But I’m sure if I tell her what’s happening she’ll leave early, never mind anyway Trisha, I just thought I’d ask.”

“Alright! Sorry about that, love, I’m sure your mum will get it sorted.”

“Yeah. Same. Bye,” I put my phone back into my trouser pocket. No point even trying mom’s phone. She never answers and if she did she wouldn’t help.

The bell rings for the end of lunch. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[rosaline-black]

ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢꜰᴏʀʏᴏᴜ - ꜱɪʀɪᴜꜱ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ

Summary: on a summers night Sirius surprises you with a call. Will those unspoken feelings finally bubble over ?

Pairing: Fem!reader X Sirius black

A/N: this is a song fic! I’ve been a big 1975 fan since I was 11 and well since I couldn’t afford tickets I thought I’d live vicariously through their old songs. Enjoy :) even if u don’t know the song, this is still pretty romantic.

 ───◌┈┈───♡⃝───┈┈◌───

What time you coming out?

We started losing light

I’ll never make it right

If you don’t wander off

“Come on l/n one night with me you won’t regret it…” Sirius pleaded over the muggle pay phone. He craved the site of your face just as much as he craved a cigarette right now. Love wasn’t normal for someone like Sirius. It didn’t just happen, not with his upbringing, not when he’d never experienced it from anyone other then his friends before. It was getting darker outside with every second and Sirius needed you near him.

“Sirius it’s 11pm and my parents are sleeping you can’t just call my house begging to see me… especially in the middle of summer when you haven’t owled me once!” You snapped in return. He couldn’t expect you to run to him after he’d been radio silent for four weeks.

“You know how my parents are y/n… I can’t send letters to…” he trailed off not knowing how to phrase his statement. You were muggleborn, if his parents caught wind of him associating with such he’d not only be punished but you could be put in danger too.

“Mudbloods? Just hang up Sirius…” you snapped

I’m so excited for the night

All we need’s my bike and your enormous house

“Hey don’t use that fucking word… look I have my bike with me… I can cycle..” Sirius pleaded even harder.

“Fine let’s say I agree where would we go?” You asked sighing into the phone.

“Your enormous house of course… look I just really need to see you… please”

If it wasn’t for the sincerity in his usually sarcastic and annoying voice you would of hung up. But he was doing what always did, he reeled you in until you craved to smell his cologne again, until you wanted to hear his deep chuckle.

“Fine… get here any later then midnight and I’m going to bed…” and with that you put down the phone.

Half an hour later you were sat on your front porch when a bike made its way up the road. The moonlight caught on metallic paint and his grey eyes. You could spot those eyes from a mile away.

“You’re here…”

“What did you think I wouldn’t come…”

You shrugged honestly. You never really knew where you stood with Sirius most of the time. He teased you like one of his friends but whenever you spoke he held an intensity you couldn’t locate when he conversed with his other friends. He’d joked in the past about hooking up with you. And you’d just laughed it off, it was better to push the playboy away then confront your feelings and have them crushed.

Don’t you see me I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you

And don’t you need me I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I’m falling (I think I’m falling), I’m falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind..

"Glad your opinion of me is high…“ Sirius joked taking a seat beside you as you both looked up at the clear night sky.

Sirius noticed your reluctance to give in to him. He completely understood. You had an unspoken tie to each other that you both chose to ignore. But on nights like this, in the dimmed glow of the porch light he was certain he was falling for you.

"At least I’m honest with you… I don’t fall at your knees like half the other girls in our school..” you commented with a tiny smile that was hidden behind your hair.

Sometimes you wondered if he truly saw you. If he was just stringing you along as a back up option in case someone more desirable didn’t want him. No way would you be his scapegoat. No way would you degrade yourself for love, even if that love was getting more apparent with every second you spent on your porch alone with him.

I’m caught on your coat again

You said, “Oh no, it’s fine”

I read between the lines and touched your leg again (again)

Sirius leant over to get closer to you, one of his many rings that he worse getting caught on a lose string from your coat. He pulled it away but only drew you closer.

“Sorry I…”

“Oh no it’s fine..” you said pulling away the string as you realised how close he’d grown to you; it was pissing you off that you didn’t mind his nose nearly brushing yours.

You moved your gaze back to the sky. Losing yourself in the stars as a cold calloused finger grazed your upper thigh. Any other time where the atmosphere wasn’t as thick with intensity you would of pushed it away. But you couldn’t.

Sirius didn’t mean to graze your leg. When he saw you hadn’t pushed him away like usual he rested his hand there. Grounding him deeper beside you. Touching you in anyway felt like a privilege he of all people didn’t deserve, but right now with all these unspoken thoughts, there was no way he’d let go. He couldn’t.

I’ll take it one day at a time

Soon you will be mine, oh, but I want you now (I want you now)

In that instant Sirius knew he couldn’t have anyone else ever again. He’d wait the rest of his life to call you his. Wether it was in this life or the next he didn’t care. Your souls were intertwined. Afar from the pureblood bullshit he didn’t see your blood status or even your looks, he just saw your soul. And he was hoping you saw his.

In that instant he knew that he’d take it one day at a time, even though when you bit your lip that way or tucked that loose strand of hair behind your delicate ears he wanted to steal you away. Have you now.

“Stop staring…” you muttered just above a whisper, like a whistle in the wind.

“Never…”

When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive

Do you fancy sitting down with me maybe

‘Cause you’re all I need

“Cigarette?” He asked lighting his own. Your brief nod was enough to carefully slip one between your lips and light it.

He watched the smoke streams catch in the light of your porch, more importantly your eyes. The majestic patterns that the smoke formed weren’t even close to competing with the intoxicating puddle which were your eyes.

“So we’re just going to sit here in silence then..” you broke the silence.

“What is there to talk about…” Sirius murmured almost mockingly. There was clearly lots for the both of you to talk about. Infact there was everything to talk about.

You could of sworn the glimmer of his teeth that showed when he smirked was enough for you to fall into the hole that was Sirius black. You couldn’t let it though, what if you’d made up the bond you shared in your head. You weren’t the first girl he’d probably ever done this for.

According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Sirius could practically hear the cogs turning in your head. Maybe now was the time to ease the doubts and reservations you had about him. Maybe now was a good time for him to get on his knees and confess every bad thing he’d ever done just so you completely trusted he could never hurt you, even if he wanted to.

He was sure you were bound to each other. Maybe to you the feeling wasn’t as strong. He’d accidentally fallen into your heart and now you were trying your best to get him out. But while he had the chance he’d take it.

Before he could take it though, your arms were pressed against his chest. Your eyes glued to his own. That mental timer that had been counting down the seconds until you could no longer ignore this had run out. Whatever this was.

“I don’t wanna be your friend y/n… I can’t just, be your friend…”

Then his lips were on yours. And you were fighting for dominance, wanting to equally prove to each other that this wasn’t just a kiss. Your hearts were chained to one another and neither of you wanted to find the key to loosen the shackles.

His lips found your neck and every thought of him hurting you was now long gone. You liked to think you couldn’t be deceived, and if this was him deceiving you then you’d happily call yourself a fool.

Don’t you see me I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you

And don’t you need me I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I’m falling (I think I’m falling), I’m falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind

You must have laid with each other until the sun began to rise. You didn’t want it too though, neither of you did. The thought of losing that atmosphere, that perfect circumstance where you could freely declare your love for one another was frightening.

Those same doubts crept back up on you. Would you go back to Hogwarts in September and would he pretend as though he’d never kissed you this way. Would he push away your bound to each other, or would he give in? Give in like you had so easily.

“I’ve fallen for you…” those four words were the only confirmation you needed. You were bound.

[annie-creates]

Out like a light

Pairing: Lady Lesso x werewolf reader

Genre: fluff

Words: 1000

Note: I loved writing this, hope there's enough fluff for you my love. Sorry for making you wait for it but I hope you'll like it.

You felt the upcoming full moon in your aching bones. You didn’t always have a bad reaction to it, sometimes the transformations hurt more, sometimes less. But as you walked around the school for evil teaching class after class, you knew tonight is not gonna be an easy night. Still you pushed through, already being used to this never ending cycle of pain and power. You made it into your own little ritual. You’d leave the castle after dinner, making sure to eat and drink enough to have the strength needed for your transformation. Then you’d wait for the moon to fully come out, running into the woods and draining your energy. After a few hours you’d come home and go to sleep.

You planned to do the same tonight. As you approached the dinning hall with your girlfriend by your side, you gave her a little kiss assuring her you’ll be fine tonight and she doesn’t have to wait for you. You ate and went out to get a head start. As you navigated the woods behind school watching the moon over the tree crowns, the scenery seemed quite peaceful. You’d even enjoy it if it wasn’t for your aching bones and throbbing head signaling your body is more than ready to take the form of your beast.

You fell to your knees, slowly transforming into the large grey wolf that was your other half. It took longer than usual tonight and was extremely painful, so you were left just breathing and resting for a minute to collect yourself. But as you picked yourself up from the ground to your four strong paws, you ran. Your distance and speed were unlimited, and you found yourself enjoying the wind in your face and cracking branches under your weight. Many found being in the wolf form restricting, but to you it was freedom.

You came back to the castle long after midnight, your claws screeching on the stoned floors. You were well aware Leonora hated it when you came back to the room still in your werewolf form leaving dirt everywhere, but considering how today’s transformation went, you didn’t wanna experience it again in the cold and darkness of the forest. You noticed the light in the room still on and as you stepped in, you found your girlfriend in her favorite armchair by the fireplace reading a book. Her questioning eyes met your apologetic ones as you started to transform back into human with your wolf cries turning into pained grunts.

Leonora wrapped your slouched form in a warm blanket lightly caressing your hair. She has seen many of your transformations both ways, the good ones and the bad ones, so she already had a pretty good idea about what hurts you, what kind of treatment you're willing to get and what kind of touches are forbidden. As you had your own little ritual for the full moon nights, she prepared one of her own, taking note of all the things she can do to make you feel better.

“I’ll get the bath ready, alright?” she offered and you answered with a little nod.

After she made sure you’ll be alright for the couple minutes, she went to the bathroom to prepare your favorite lotions and bubble bath. Leonora made sure the water is just the right temperature to relax your aching tense muscles and even lit up a few candles with the scents you liked. She turned the light down a bit, well aware you’re sensitive to sensory perceptions after your wolfing episodes.

“Honey the bath is ready.” She came back to help you into the tub, carefully letting you sit down in it. “How was your night?” it was a simple question; you knew you didn’t have to speak but she gave you the option to. And for a long time you didn’t.

“It was nice. The transforming – not so much.” You answered after some prolonged minutes in which she just gently washed your body. You were slowly coming back to her not only in the body but also in your head.

“I’m sorry baby. But we’ll make it alright.” She promised and caressed your shoulder knowing kisses weren’t welcomed now. “Can I wash your hair?” such big intervention needed permission first and she was willing to wait to get it.

“Yea.” You nodded and tilted your head back to make the job easier for her.

By the time you were done in the bathtub you were finally responsive and back to yourself, feeling every aching bone and pulled muscle. Leonora wrapped you in a fluffy bathrobe doing a basic hair and care routine with you until you were all done and cleaned up ready to go to bed. And that’s where you went, burring yourself in a pile of duvets and comfy blankets. Leonora observed you with nothing but love in her eyes as the only light she left on was the lamp at her bedside table.

“Do you wanna go to sleep?” she offered seeing as it would be more than reasonable at this hour.

“Not yet. Can you read me from your book?” you begged her placing your head on her shoulder as she picked up the book she was reading before you came back.

“It’s not an interesting book.” She warned you.

“I don’t care, I love your voice.” That and you loved the beating of her heart and movement of breath under your ear.

“Okay.” Leonora shrugged and started reading with you in her arms, but your silence didn’t last long.

“Can you do the thing with your hands?” you asked, pleading eyes boring into hers.

“You mean this?” with a genuine smile Leonora started to draw gentle slow circles on your back, lightly scratching you with her fingernails.

“Yes.” You closed your eyes in bliss purring in satisfaction.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep after that. In the arms of your one true love you were out like a light.

[ladykailitha]

Meet Me On the Dance Floor Part 1

Okay, we have now gotten a story I am most concerned with publishing as this is the one where my lack of knowledge is going to show the most. The first part was the original story and if you want, you can stop it there, no harm done. However from part 2-4 is where I take my leap of faith. It’s where we get into a headcanon I have about Mike regarding with how he treats Steve (I’ll put it in the tags for the final 3 parts) and it fits for the story, but I’m not sure if it will stick to the wall so to speak. Also the fourth part will be marked as mature, just heads up for sexy times (Steddie).

*

Steve was sleeping deeply for the first time in what felt like ages.

“Harrington,” someone said above him.

He just snuggled deeper into the covers.

“Steve,” the voice insisted.

He really didn’t want to wake up.

Someone shook him. “Come on, Stevie,” the voice said, warm and inviting.

Steve opened his eyes to see a worried Eddie leaning over him.

“Hey, man. There you are. I was getting worried. I thought you wanted to come with us tonight.”

Steve sat up in a rush. “Shit!” He rubbed his eyes trying to get his vision to clear. “What time is it?”

“6:37pm.”

Steve leapt from the bed, nearly knocking Eddie over. “Shit, shit, shit!” he scrambled to find the clothes he was going to wear. He looked over his shoulder. “Do you think I have time to shower?”

Eddie looked at his watch and winced. “Probably not.”

“Damn it.”

He dashed into the bathroom to at least put on deodorant. But when he went to spray himself, the can was empty. “Fuck!”

“I keep some cologne in the van for times when I smoke at school, I can grab it for you?” Eddie said from the doorway.

Steve sighed in relief. “That would be great. Thanks, dude.”

Eddie hurried out the van while Steve got dressed.

When Eddie came back he was shocked to see Steve’s outfit. He was wearing black dress pants, with a black t-shirt, and black suit jacket. He paired the outfit with his white sneakers. Around his neck was a simple silver chain that barely brushed his collar bones and he had a couple of chains on his belt.

“Looking good, Stevie,” Eddie said with a whistle.

Steve looked over at Eddie, who was wearing his tightest torn-up jeans with a black button up and dark grey vest. He had bangles on his wrists, and chains on his belt. He wore his black bandanna over his hair.

“I could say the same, Eddie,” Steve said with a grin.

Eddie tossed him the can of cologne and Steve gave himself a couple of sprays and tossed it back.

Eddie shoved it in his back pocket as he circled Steve. “I didn’t know you wore black, Stevie. You’ve been holding out on me.”

Steve blushed. “I haven’t worn this in a while, because it’s what I was wearing when Nancy broke up with me. But it’s the only thing I’ve got that’s club worthy and I’m ready to make new memories in tonight.”

Eddie stopped in front of him and tapped his lips with his finger. “It’s missing something.”

Steve looked down at himself and then back at Eddie hopelessly. “Yeah?”

“I’ve got it!” he cried. He pulled off one his rings and put it on Steve’s right hand. “There we go. It would be better if your ears were pierced but this should add just that right amount of style.”

Steve blushed, looking at the ring on his pinkie finger.

“You ready to go?” Eddie asked.

Steve looked up. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”

*

Eddie slid into the back seat when they picked up Robin. “Nothing against Stevie being here, but we are going to a gay bar. Do we need a token straight for that?”

Steve and Robin shared a glance before they started laughing.

“Dude,” Steve said. “I thought you knew. I’m bisexual.”

Eddie raised both eyebrows.

“Dingus didn’t even want to come until I said you were coming,” Robin added.

Eddie could see that the back of Steve’s ears had gone bright red and figured his face matched.

“Partly,” Steve defended. “I went from no to maybe when she said you were coming.”

“So what made you decide to come?” Eddie asked as they pulled up to another house.

Steve laid on the horn and Will came barreling out the front door.

“For him,” Steve said quietly.

Eddie got it. Everyone knew Will was gay and everyone knew he had feelings for his best friend.

This whole night was about getting Will out of the straight, white Hawkins and to some place where he could meet other queers. Maybe even some his own age.

Eddie slid over to the opposite side window to give Will some room to get in.

“Hey, guys,” Will greeted shyly.

“You ready to have some fun?” Robin asked.

Will nodded.

“Good.” Steve smiled at his young friend through the rearview mirror.

*

When they got to the club, the music was bouncing and Robin bounced with it.

Steve pointed at the bar. “I’m going to be over there if you need me!” he shouted over the din.

Robin nodded.

Eddie watched Steve head to the bar. “What’s that about?”

“He doesn’t dance. Says he dances like a drunk Muppet!” Robin yelled. “Come on!”

She led them through the crowd and introduced them to some of her friends from college. Soon Will had relaxed enough to start dancing himself. Robin kept her eye on him, while Eddie kept his eye on Steve.

About half way through the night he nudged Robin. “That’s the fifteenth guy Steve has sent away. What the hell is telling them to get them back off so quickly?”

Robin raised an eyebrow. “Honestly?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah.”

“He’s telling them he’s bisexual.”

Eddie frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“This your first time at a gay bar?” Robin asked.

He shook his head. “I’ve been to a couple of others.”

“Well, you probably just didn’t notice,” she said. “Bisexuals get shit for being able to ‘pass as straight’,” she said putting air quotes around the last three words.

“Oh.”

Eddie looked over at Steve. “That must fucking suck. Not being able to fit anywhere.”

Robin shrugged, cocking her head to the side. “He says it weeds out the assholes.”

Eddie laughed. “It looks like he’s about to go through the whole fucking bar.”

“All but one,” Robin said, bumping his shoulder.

Eddie gulped.

“Go get him, tiger.”

Eddie looked over at Steve. He sitting on a barstool, leaning on the bar with both of his elbows, nursing a beer. His long legs were stretched out front of him. Eddie licked his lips. He could see why every gay man in the club was seeking him out, hoping for his attention.

Eddie moved through the crowd like a snake on the hunt. Weaving the through the throngs of people, silent and deadly. He licked his lips in anticipation.

Steve clocked him coming in and bit his bottom lip.

“King Steve, keeping court,” Eddie murmured when he got close enough for Steve to hear him.

Steve flashed him a brilliant smile. “Just waiting for my prince to come.”

Eddie looked around them. “Plenty of them out there tonight.”

Steve scoffed. “These frogs? Not hardly.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about that. There are some pretty hot guys here just waiting for their chance with you.”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Can you see the stars during the day?”

Eddie frowned. “Of course not, the sun’s out.”

Steve sat up and looked Eddie in the eye. “Exactly. Who can see all those glimmering stars when the sun is right here in front of me.”

Eddie blushed. “Yeah?” He put his hands on Steve’s thighs and gently pushed them apart so he could stand closer to him.

“Oh yeah,” Steve breathed.

Their faces were so close.

“I wanted to mark you so bad,” Eddie admitted. “A bite mark on your neck to show everyone you were taken. That you were mine.”

“But you already marked me as yours, Eds,” Steve said, breathless. “I’m wearing your cologne and your ring. They might not have known who I belonged to, but they knew I belong to someone. And now they can see who it is.”

“Stevie,” Eddie said, taking hold of the sides of Steve’s face and pressing their foreheads together.

Steve lifted his chin, bringing their lips together. Eddie let out a low moan swallowed up by the thumping music.

“I’ve been sitting here, hoping you’d ask me to dance,” Steve admitted.

Eddie chuckled. “Robin said you dance like a drunk Muppet.”

“Oh, I do,” Steve said softly. “But I don’t care what people think as long as I’m with you.” He finished his beer and set it on the bar top.

Eddie jutted his chin at the empty bottle. “How many of those have you had?”

“Just this one,” Steve said. “I’m driving. Elise has been kind enough to ply me with tonic water all night.” He thumbed the bartender behind him.

Elise eyed Eddie up and down. “You’ll do.”

He turned to Steve with a raised eyebrow.

Steve shrugged. “My best friends are lesbians, what can I say?”

Elise laughed. “Go on.” She swatted Steve with her towel. “You know I only tolerate you because you shove a twenty dollar bill in my tip jar at the start of the night.”

Steve laughed, and let Eddie lead him to the dance floor.

*

Robin watched Eddie make the moves on her best friend with a fond smile.

Will came up to her and asked, “Where’s Eddie?”

She pointed at the bar where Eddie and Steve were talking.

“About time,” Will muttered.

“I know, right?” she said with a giggle. She bumped his shoulder. “You having fun?”

Will nodded. “Thanks for taking me.”

“It’s good for you to go out meet with different kinds of queers,” Robin said. “Of all ages. Hawkins isn’t the end of the world, no matter how many times it tried to be.”

Will laughed. He watched as Eddie and Steve made it to the dance floor. “Oh god. He does dance like a drunk Muppet.”

“Yup.”

*Also if you want I can write the coda for the scene Robin asking Steve to come with if anyone is interested. It’s the scene that started the fic in my head I just couldn’t fit it in the actual story. Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 86)

Summary: Travelling back in time forces both Steve and Thor to face their pasts

Word Count: 8.8k

Warnings: Fluff! Angst! Canon Typical Violence! Language!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 86: The Time Heist

Steve was awake much earlier than he needed to be, he knew he should try and get more sleep so he was more rested but he had far too much anxious energy. Climbing out of bed he started getting ready for the day, ignoring the huff of annoyance he got from Scout who had been woken up by Steve.

Once he was showered and dressed in his grey henley he crept into JJ’s room. The 6-year-old was still fast asleep, as silently as he could Steve sat on the edge of his bed, his hand running over his light blond locks smiling gently when JJ murmured in his sleep.

“I’ll see you soon bean” Steve whispered leaning down to kiss the top of JJ’s head.

Once he was downstairs he fill Scout’s bowl of food ready for whenever the pup decided to come downstairs, made himself some breakfast and prepared JJ’s rucksack and lunchbox for school. He was just sipping on a cup of coffee when Roberta walked in through the back door looking tired.

“there’s a pot of coffee ready for you,” Steve tells her nodding to the pot.

“Thanks, I don’t get how you can be so awake this early, the sun hasn’t even risen” She mutters as she pours herself a cup of coffee.

Steve shrugs “just raring to go I guess” he offers, a small smile appearing on Roberta’s face.

“today’s the day… the time heist” she sighs eyebrows raised as she takes a large gulp of her coffee.

“yup” Steve nods.

“well I wish you luck, just don’t go placing any bets on sports teams” Roberta smirks making Steve laugh.

“That’s not how time travel works” he chuckles.

“eh it was worth a shot” she shrugs “is JJ still asleep?”

“yeah he won’t be up for another hour or so, his lunchbox is all ready to go so he’ll just need his breakfast and someone to make sure he puts his shirt on the right way around,” Steve says “thanks for agreeing to take him to school again and getting up so early, Tony wants to try and get this all done in a day so we thought starting the mission in the early morning would give enough time to finish the gauntlet and snap our fingers by the end of the day” he explains.

“no it's okay I get it, and I love spending time with JJ, he’s a good kid” Roberta smiles “and the sooner he gets his mom back the better”

“thanks Roberta” Steve smiles “I owe you so much,” he says shaking his head.

“no you don’t,” Roberta tells him “the world owes you, and I’m just repaying the favour” she shrugs with a smile.

“I’m still gonna thank you anyway” Steve smirks making Roberta laugh.

“you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t, now go on, I know you’re dying to get going” Roberta smiles as she ushers him to the door.

“thank you, I’ll see you later, I’ll text when I’m on my way back so you have a bit of a heads up” Steve smiles as he opens the front door.

“thank you, now go,” Roberta says practically shoving him out the door.

When Steve got to the compound the sun was only just beginning to rise. Everyone had already gathered in the conference room, the air in the room palpable. Everyone was anxious to get going but also nervous, the weight of what this mission meant weighing heavy on their shoulders.

“right, here’s everyone's devices,” Tony says as he passes out the supply of nanotech quantum realm suits “you wear them kinda like a watch, but instead of telling the time, it’s to navigate time”

“How does the suit element work?” Clint asks as he slips his device on.

“it's nanotech so it just kinda responds” Tony explains shrugging his shoulders.

“so I just think it and it appears?” Clint questions frowning down at the device.

“more or less” Tony shrugs.

Once they all had their devices everyone broke off into their individual teams to run over the plan one final time.

“All right, we have a plan: six stones, three teams, one shot” Steve states walking closer to the hologram that showed all the stones “everybody get what you need and suit up, meet in the hanger in five”

Everyone nods in agreement, breaking off to go grab their suits. Steve made his way into the lab to grab the now very old suit that he wore from the battle of New York. Picking it up he took a deep breath as he thought back to that time, the way his life changed from the moment he first set his eyes on you. In a way he guess it was apt that to bring you back he was going back to the time when he first met you.

Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans he pulled out the folded photo he used to keep of you in his suit. The one of you and JJ from a couple of days after he was born, this mission was for you and he needed you as close to him as possible. So he slid the photo into one of the pockets on his belt where he knew it would be safe.

Once he was ready he grabbed his shield and made his way to go meet up with everyone else. As soon as everyone was gathered they made their way over to the time machine.

“any last words of encouragement cap?” Tony asks glancing over at Steve.

Steve takes a deep breath before nodding “Five years ago we lost, all of us, we lost friends, we lost family” Steve says glancing over at Thor “we lost a part of ourselves” he adds clearing his throat as he looks down “Today we have a chance to take it all back, you know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. one round trip each” Steve reminds everyone “no mistakes, no do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know that doesn’t mean we should know what to expect, be careful, look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives… and we’re gonna win” Steve continues glancing over at Tony who was smirking back “whatever it takes… good luck” Steve sighs before stepping back.

“he’s pretty good at that” Rocket mutters looking up at Scott.

“right!” Scott exclaims shaking his head.

“all right! You heard the man, stroke those keys jolly green” Tony calls out to Bruce.

“trackers engaged” Bruce called back.

“you ready?” Nat asks looking over at Steve.

“never been more ready in my life,” Steve says with a small smile.

“let’s get your wife back” She grins back at him “see ya in a minute”.

Steve nods smiling to himself as he looks down as the machine whirs to life, Steve activates his helmet along with the others before suddenly he gets shrunken down and disappears into the machine along with everyone else.

After a short burst of colour, Steve, Bruce, Tony and Scott all landed in a back alley just a short distance away from the tower. Recalling back his suit so his old Captain America suit was on show he glanced up spotting one of the leviathans flying up above. They all knew from experience how dangerous this time was, well with the exception of maybe Scott, so Steve was anxious to get in and out as soon as possible.

“All right we have our assignments,” he says taking a few steps so he could glance out onto the main street “two stones uptown, one stone down, stay low keep an eye on the clock” he continues turning back to face the rest of them.

Just at that moment the 2012 Hulk roared as he crashed by making everyone flinch, it had been a long time since they heard that sort of thing. They watched as the Hulk used a car to smash an alien into the ground, jumping on it for good measure.

Steve looks back at Bruce to see the embarrassed look on his face “maybe smash a few things along the way” Steve suggests with a small shrug.

Bruce sighs ripping off his vest “I think it’s gratuitous but whatever” walking onto the street Steve watches as he softly roars and weakly pounds his fist into a cab.

Steve grimaces slightly at the attempt but doesn’t say anything, turning back to the others “c’mon we should be able to get to the tower just as the battle finishes” he says nodding to the tower.

A short while later Steve had snuck his way into the Stark towers, making his way up towards the elevator “Better hustle cap, things look like they’re just about wrapping up here” Tony warns him.

“got it, I’m approaching the elevator now” Steve responds, glancing around as he pressed the button and steps inside the elevator.

Steve hears Tony scoff into the comms “Mr Rogers, I almost forgot that that suit did nothing for your ass”

Steve sighs “no one asked you to look Tony”, he glances into the mirror in the elevator turning slightly so he could subtly check himself out, frowning as he wondered whether you felt the same all those years ago.

“as far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass,” Scott says into the comms making Steve freeze.

He almost responded in a panic, asking where Scott had heard that from, worried that maybe you’d accidentally spilt the secret while they were on the run. Steve stopped himself though, this kind of comment was very much like Scott and the chance of you telling him was also pretty low. The last thing Steve needed was to accidentally cause more teasing by accidentally admitting the secret himself.

Steve took a centring breath before stepping out of the elevator a few floors down from everyone else, making his way to the elevator nearby where the STRIKE team were making their way down in.

“all right cap, I’ve got our sceptre in the elevator, just passing the 80th floor” Tony informs him as he reached the elevator he needed.

“on it” Steve responds hitting the button before glancing around “Head to the lobby”

Steve prepared himself as the door opened to a familiar sight, Steve almost laughed at the irony. All the STRIKE team instantly made eye contact with him, but he kept his cool stepping into the elevator, hitting a button for a few floors down.

“Captain we thought you were co-ordinating search and rescue,” Sitwall says swallowing nervously.

“change of plans,” Steve says as he steps closer into the middle of the elevator.

“hey Cap,” Rumlow says his voice a little strained.

“Rumlow” Steve mutters working hard to school his expression after everything Rumlow had put them through.

The tension in the elevator was palpable, just like it was all those years ago before SHIELD fell, right down to the STRIKE agents resting their hands on their guns in anticipation.

“I just got a call from the secretary, I’m gonna be running point on the sceptre” Steve announces.

Sitwell frowns turning around to face him “Sir? I don’t understand”

Steve glances around noting how every agent had his eyes set solely on him, itching to move as soon as Steve made a wrong move “we got word there may be an attempt to steal it” Steve reasons.

“sorry cap, we can’t give you the sceptre” Rumlow states, his tone hard.

“I’m gonna have to call the director,” Sitwell says reaching into his jacket.

It was looking less and less likely that Steve was gonna get out of this without a fight, and he really needed to avoid a fight. He only had one last card to play, one he knew he wouldn’t like but he had no option, so he sent a silent prayer to wherever you were that you wouldn’t hate him for it.

“That's okay, trust me” Steve nods, Sitwell frowns slightly so Steve leans in to whisper in his ear “Hail Hydra”

Steve watches as Sitwell’s eyes widen in shock, blinking a couple of times as he glances around at the rest of the agents “give him the sceptre” Sitwell coughs out.

Rumlow scowls slightly but hands over the case containing the sceptre to Steve. The elevator doors open at that exact moment and Steve walks out smirking to himself victoriously.

As Steve was making his way through the tower back to the back elevator he used earlier he heard alarms ringing and he knew this wasn’t from 2012.

“Tony what’s going on?” Steve asked trying not to panic “tell me you found that cube”

He glances around as he walks onto the glass bridge he crossed earlier, stopping short when he saw someone already standing on the bridge “oh you got to be shitting me” Steve muttered to himself as he looked back at his 2012 self.

“I have eyes on Loki, 14th floor,” his 2012 self said into the comms.

Steve sighs hoping whatever had happened down in the lobby hadn’t jeopardised the mission “I’m not Loki,” Steve says carefully, putting the case down slowly “and I don’t wanna hurt you”

His negotiation didn’t work though as his 2012 self surged forward to attack, Steve raised his shield just in time to block the blow, the two shields clashing together and ringing out across the tower. Steve works to block every blow sent his way, the two versions of himself evenly matched. While Steve’s fight style had evolved over the years he was also much older and not as nippy as his younger self. Meaning it wasn’t long until his 2012 self landed a kick to his gut sending him flying back, Steve landing with a loud grunt.

“I can do this all day,” his 2012 self says.

Steve pushes himself up groaning in annoyance when he heard his phrase thrown back at him. Hearing it himself he wasn’t surprised the others found it annoying “yeah I know” Steve sighs “I know”

Steve throws his shield, but so does his 2012 self meaning they met in the middle and rebounded off the side of the bridge. Steve went hand to hand with himself, trying to gain the upper hand, the side of the bridge smashing and the sceptre falling to the floors below in the scuffle.

Steve managed to trip his 2012 self up, but his footing slipped on the broken glass causing the both of them to fall multiple stories, smashing through glass and hitting staircases as they fell. The both of them collapsed on the bottom floor, groaning in pain.

Steve takes a couple of seconds to breathe through the pain before pushing himself up to his feet, still heavily panting. As he does so he notices his 2012 self holding something, he blinks a couple of times his eyes focusing and realises it was a photo. He quickly looks down at his belt to see the pocket he kept the photo of you and JJ was wide open.

He watches as his 2012 self stares down at the photo, confusion crossing his face as he recognised you in the photo “where did you get this? What is this?” he demands holding the photo up.

Steve takes a moment to try and work out what to say, realising there was nothing he could say that could explain this. Instead, he makes a grab for the sceptre on the floor, but his 2012 self is faster, stepping on the sceptre to stop him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and choking him.

The both of them fall to the floor, grappling as Steve tries to free himself or reach for the sceptre but it was no use. his 2012 self had pinned him so once again Steve used a card that he really didn’t want to “Bucky is alive” he chokes out.

His 2012 self suddenly let go in shock allowing Steve to gulp in some air, coughing a couple of times before quickly punching his 2012 self in the face, grabbing the sceptre and using it to knock him out.

Steve lets out a sigh of relief as he grabs the photo back and tucks it away safely. Standing back up he glances down at his 2012 self, his eyes falling on his ass, finally seeing what you had seen for all these years “yeah that is America’s ass” he smiles to himself.

He glances around before making his way back to a stairwell or elevator he could use to go down the last few floors and escape before someone found his unconscious 2012 self. He had only made it into a corridor when he rounded a corner and froze.

“Steve there you are! Did you find Loki?” you gasped running over to him.

Steve’s heart stopped as he lay eyes on you for the first time in 5 years. He nearly broke down on the spot but he just managed to stop himself. Instead, he surged forward his hands moving to cup your cheeks making your 2012 self look up at him with wide eyes.

“you’re here…” Steve muttered under his breath.

You frown up at him in concern “of course I am, are you okay Steve you look like you’ve seen a ghost”

Steve lets out a watery chuckle nodding his head as he pulled you in for a tight hug “I guess you could say that”

“Steve you’re starting to really worry me,” you say pushing back enough to look up at him, your eyes searching his.

“I’m fine, just a bit of a tussle to get this back,” he says taking a few steps back, reminding himself that at this point in history the pair of you barely knew each other.

“thank the heavens, I dread to think the chaos that would be caused if that fell into the wrong hands” you sigh in relief a smile on your face.

“Exactly, I’m um going to go secure it, Loki’s been taken care of so um why don’t I meet you and the others in the lobby?” Steve suggests.

“Sure I shall see you down there, we’re all gonna grab some shawarma” you nod, smile on your face.

Steve watches as you turn and start heading off in the wrong direction and suddenly he wasn’t okay with you disappearing again so soon. He needed to do something.

“hey Y/N” he calls out grabbing your attention.

“yes?” you hum turning back around.

“I um- despite all this” Steve starts gesturing to his body “I’m still just a skinny kid from Brooklyn that is terrible with the ladies so um after shawarma I think it might be a good idea if maybe you ask me if I want to grab coffee sometime?”

Steve watches as you tilt your head slightly, walking a few paces closer, a smile growing on your face “Captain, are you asking me to ask you out on a date?” you smirk.

Steve smiles down at you shrugging his shoulders innocently “you’re the one asking, not me, I don’t think I’d have the guts”

You laugh gently nodding your head “okay, well it seems as if I’ll be asking you a question later then Steve” you smile.

“I look forward to it” Steve nods smiling down at you “now go on, I’ll be down in a few”

You nod turning back around, Steve watched you with a smile on his face. he knew what he just did wouldn’t change his own past, but maybe he could give this version of himself just some more time with you.

Steve made his way out of the tower as quickly and as quietly as he could, he couldn’t afford another run-in. Once back onto the streets of New York, he climbed a nearby fire escape deciding to make his way back to the rendezvous point using fire escapes and roofs so he could keep a low profile.

Once he reached the back alley he wanted he jumped down onto the street “cap” he heard Tony call out behind him.

Steve turns spotting Tony and Scott sitting in a damaged car, both with despondent looks on their faces. Steve desperately was hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was, but Tony then confirmed it.

“Sorry Buddy we got a problem,” Tony says barely able to look Steve in the eye.

Scott scoffed from the backseat of the car “yeah we do”

“do you wanna tell him or shall I?” Tony snaps looking over his shoulder at Scott.

“Tell me what?” Steve demands, holding onto the shred of hope he still had.

“you can tell him” Scott mutters, looking sheepishly over at Steve.

“we may or may not have lost the tesseract” Tony admits fiddling with his fingers, unable to look at Steve.

Steve takes a deep breath trying to remain calm, a task becoming increasingly difficult “where is it? can we go get it?”

“we don’t know, I had the case in my hands and was making my way to the stairwell but I forgot we made the hulk take the stairs… he knocked me down and the case went flying, the tesseract practically landing in Loki’s feet, so he took it a teleported out of there” Tony explains.

Steve nods turning away as he pinches the bridge of his nose. They were so close, so close to getting everyone back, to getting you back and the chance was gone. Steve took a deep breath trying to get control of his emotions, he’d lost his chance to ever see you again a fact that he hated with all his being, especially after just seeing you. Anger bubbled up inside him and he needed a release and quick, his sights landed on an innocent trash can which he quickly kicks sending it flying down the alley.

“Fuck!” Steve growls in anger, he turns to start pacing but stops when he sees the shocked expressions of both Tony and Scott, their jaws practically on the floor.

“did the Captain America just say the f-word?” Scott mutters in disbelief.

“yeah we’re well and truly fucked now” Tony mutters back as Scott climbs out of the car.

“Well, what are we gonna do now?” Steve demands, hoping that somewhere in his big brain of his Tony had an idea of what to do.

“give me a break Steve, I just got hit in the head with the hulk” Tony sighs rubbing his forehead.

Scott scoffs, having clearly gotten over his shock and was now angry like Steve “you said that we had one shot, this was our shot!” he exclaims back to Tony “we shot it, it’s shot, sic stones or nothing! Six stones or nothing”

Tony rolls his eyes “you’re repeating yourself” he points out “you know that? You’re repeating yourself”

“you’re repeating yourself, you’re repeating yourself” Scott retorts petulantly making Steve feel like he was back at the JJ’s school fair he help out at a few months back.

Steve sighs taking a step away for a moment before he could get any more annoyed, one of them needed to have a clear head.

“are there any other options with the tesseract?” Steve asks with a sigh hoping to get the conversation back on track.

“no, no, no there’s no other options, there’s no do-overs” Scott explains shutting the open back seat door shut “we’re not going anywhere else, we have one particle left each! That’s it all right? We use that bye-bye you’re not going home”

“yeah well if we don’t try!” Steve interrupts, he wasn’t ready to give up just yet, whatever it takes “then no one else is going home either”

“I got it!” Tony announces shooting out of his seat “there’s another way to retake the tesseract and acquire new particles” he says glancing over at Scott before looking back at Steve “a little stroll down memory lane, military installation, garden state”

Steve instantly understands exactly what he meant and he was mentally kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner. They still had some details to iron out, details that Steve didn’t have.

“When were they both there?” he asks.

“they were there at a time… I have a vaguely exact idea” Tony says with a small shrug.

Steve has to bite his lip to stop himself from saying something he’d regret. Vaguely exact was not good enough if they were going to take this risk “how vague?”

“What are you talking about? Where are we going?” Scott questions but Steve and Tony pay him little attention.

“I know for a fact they were there and I know how I know” Tony explains with a look in his eyes pleading with Steve to try it.

“guys what is this? Scott asks as Steve takes a deep breath, this was the best shot they had, the only shot they had.

“looks like we’re improvising” Steve sighs nodding his head in agreement.

“what are we improvising?” Scott asks as Steve walks over towards him.

“Scott get this back to the compound” Steve orders passing him the sceptre.

“suit up,” Tony says as Steve walks back over to him.

Scott continues to ask questions as Tony reads out the coordinates they needed, Steve repeating them back as he inputted them “are you sure?” Steve asks once he put in the last one.

“cap? Captain? Steve?” Scott says finally getting Steve’s attention “sorry, America, Rogers… look if you do this and it doesn’t work you’re not coming back… what about JJ?”

Steve swallows a lump in his throat, he knew the risk he was taking but he had to be confident “I’m doing this for JJ” he responds.

“yeah thanks for the pep talk pissant” Tony states before looking back at Steve “you trust me?”

Steve pauses for a moment but he knew there was only every one answer. Despite everything, every argument they had, Steve knew Tony had his back “I do” he nods.

“your call,” Tony says giving him one last chance to back out.

“here we go” Steve sighs looking down at his device and activating it, once again shrinking down and entering the quantum realm.

Arriving in the Asgard dungeons Thor grabbed his flask and took a couple of swigs. He never thought he’d be back home, yet here he was and just around the corner was his brother.

“Alright, pal, which way?” Rocket says rubbing his hands together.

Thor clears his throat nodding his head “this way rabbit” he says quickly hurrying off, trying to keep a low profile as he ran through the dungeons.

Making their way undetected through the palace they stopped at a column using it for cover as they looked down the corridor to where Jane was standing at the door accepting some clothes.

“These are from the Princess’ wardrobe,” the maid says passing Jane the clothes.

“um, so you have anything with pants?” Jane asks hopefully.

“pants?” the maid says confused.

“nevermind these will be fine thank you” Jane smiles before quickly stepping back inside her room.

“oh, there’s Jane” Thor mutters, not missing the way his heart ached when he saw her.

“all right, here’s the deal tubby,” Rocket says jumping down onto the floor “you’re gonna charm her, and I’m gonna poke her with this thing and extract the reality stone and get gone lickety-split”

Thor looks up from Rocket and back towards the door to Jane’s chambers knowing at this moment he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t face her again, it would hurt too much. If he was going to do this he would need some stronger alcohol. He sniffs back some tears “I’ll be right back, the wine cellar is just down here, my father used to have this huge carrel of Aakonian ale, I’ll see if the scullery has a couple to go cups” Thor says backing off down the corridor.

“Hey! Hey! Aren’t you drunk enough already?” Rocket calls out.

Thor goes to say something but then they hear the sound of a door opening sending them both scrambling for cover. Thor peers around the column he was hiding behind his face falling when he spots you and his mother walking down the opposite corridor with a couple of other ladies. The both of you giving orders to grab certain books from the library.

“who’s the fancy broad with your sister?” Rocket asks.

“that’s my mother… she dies today…” Thor mutters his voice shaking with emotion, the image permanently burnt into his memory, the sounds of your cries echoing in his ears.

“oh.. that is today?” Rocket mutters, his voice much softer than before.

The more Thor recalled that time the harder he found it to breathe. It felt like he had a massive weight on his chest which was suffocating him “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t have come, it’s a bad idea” he pants struggling to catch his breath.

“come here” Rocket beckons.

“no, no, no, I think I’m having a panic attack” Thor gasps.

“come here, right here” Rocket repeats gesturing for him to come closer.

“I shouldn’t be here, this is bad” Thor states before Rocket slaps him hard across the face.

“you think you’re the only one who lost people?” Rocket demands “what do you think we’re doing here? I lost the only family I ever had! Quill, Groot, Drax, the chick with the antenna all gone!” he exclaims before sighing “I get that you miss your mom but she’s gone, really gone and there are plenty of people of are only kind of gone, your sister being one of them, and you can help them… so is it too much to ask that you brush the crumbs out of your beard, make schmoopy talk to pretty pants? And when she’d not looking suck the infinity stone and help me get my family back?”

Thor takes a deep breath “okay” he mutters nodding his head.

“Are you crying?” Rocket asks.

“no” Thor lies “…yes… I feel like I’m losing it”

“get it together! You can do this” Rocket encourages him.

Thor takes a couple of deep breaths trying to steady himself “yes I can” he says trying to convince himself.

“good” Rocket nods jumping back down to the floor.

“I can do this, I can do this” Thor mutters to himself but the more he said it the more unconvinced he felt “I can’t do this,” he says quickly turning and running away before Rocket could notice and stop him.

Thor had managed to make his way into the wine cellar, quickly refilling his flask with some ale before making his way back out. he was walking down one corridor when he heard people approaching, ducking behind a column just as his mother, accompanied by you and some maids walked around the column.

He made sure to keep himself hidden as you passed, moving to stay out of view while also trying to catch a glimpse. He heard you whispering something to the ladies and then the sounds of footsteps.

He was just turning away when he came face to face with you “what are you doing?” you frown up at him.

Thor screams in surprise turning to run away but coming face to face with his mother, making him scream in surprise again, scaring his mother “oh god!” Frigga gasps “you’re better off leaving the sneaking to your brother” she chastises.

“no, I wasn’t sneaking, I was just going for a walk” Thor mumbles waving it off.

“what on earth are you wearing?” you ask, folding your arms across your chest, face scrunching in disgust.

“oh I always wear this, it’s one of my favourites” Thor reasons pulling at his clothes as he looked down at them.

Frigga carefully studies him taking a couple of steps closer so she could cup his cheek “what’s wrong with your eye?”

“Oh, my eye,” Thor says moving her hand away “you remember the uh, Battle of Harokin when I got hit in the face with a broadsword?” he says glancing over at you.

“you didn’t get-“ you start before your mother interrupts.

“Y/N dear could you go check on Jane for me?” she asks turning to face you.

You look over at her taken aback “but-“ you go to argue.

“that wasn’t a request,” she says firmly.

You stand up straight giving her a quick nod of the head before glancing over at Thor sceptically “of course mother” you say before turning on your heels and heading back towards the room Jane was in.

Once you were gone, Frigga turned back to Thor with a gentle smile “you’re not the Thor I know at all are you?” she sighs lightly.

Thor forces a smile “Yes I am” he says.

“the future hasn’t been kind to you has it?” she sighs her hand gently running over his shoulder.

“I didn’t say I was from the future” Thor chuckles shaking his head at the idea.

His mother holds up a finger “I was raised by witches boy, I see with more than eyes, you know that” she tells him softly.

Thor was barely unable to hold back his tears as he nods his head quickly “yeah I’m totally from the future” his voice breaking.

Frigga gives him a reassuring smile “yes you are honey”

“I really need to talk to you” Thor mutters through his tears.

“we can talk” she nods pulling him into the hug he had been desperate for for years now “let's go to my chambers”

Thor nods following after his mother, once inside her room they both sat down on the small decorative couch “so tell me what brings you here?” she asks him.

Thor takes a deep and shaky breath as he begins to recount the story of Thanos, how he attacked the Asgardian ship and killed Loki and what happened in Wakanda “Y/N she- she was one of the ones that went… JJ was only one at the time” Thor sniffles.

“who’s JJ?” Frigga asks.

Thor smiles slightly as he glances at his mother “her son, she married Steve Rogers, Captain America… he made her so happy… promised to keep her safe” he mutters his jaw clenching as he looks down at his clenched fists.

“I’m sure he did everything he could” Frigga sighs sadly.

Thor just hums, he knew she was right, and deep down he did regret his behaviour towards Steve following the snap.

“any way we track Thanos to his farm, to try and get the stones back but he’d already destroyed them which is why I’m here in the past to retrieve them… but I was just so angry and lost… so I swung and went for the head… his head was over there… his body over there,” he says before scoffing “I mean what was the point, I was too late… I was just standing there, some idiot with an axe”

“Now you’re no idiot, you’re here aren’t you? seeking counsel from the wisest person in Asgard” Frigga points out “idiot no, a failure? Absolutely”

Thor frowns taking a swig from his flask “that’s a little big harsh” he mutters.

“do you know what that makes you? just like everyone else” she says rubbing his back soothingly.

“I’m not supposed to be like everyone else am I?” Thor scoffs

“mh, everyone fails at who they’re supposed to be Thor, the measure of a person, of a hero is how well they succeed at being who they are,” she tells him softly.

Thor nods as he lets her words sink in, feeling just like he did when he was a little kid and she picked him up after a fall, safe.

“I really missed you mom” he whispers looking over at her, she gives him a gently smile pulling him closer so their foreheads rest against one another.

“you should get back to your friend so you can go save the world,” she tells him, standing up from her seat.

Thor nods and follows her out of her chambers and back into the corridors of the palace. The two of them pause by a window that looks out over Asgard, Thor looking out at his home trying to commit it to memory knowing he’d never see it again.

“I have one last piece of advice for you Thor” Frigga sighs turning to face him “let go of your anger… I see so much of it in you, don’t let it take you down a dark path like it did your brother. You are hurting but making others feel your pain won’t make yours go away, you are angry at Thanos, not Steve, not yourself, so stop punishing those that don’t deserve it”

Thor gulps back a lump in his throat nodding his head “I know I’m sorry”

Frigga gives him a small smile “I’m not the one you should be apologising to” she reminds him.

Thor takes a deep breath nodding his head as he glanced back out at Asgard “mom I have to tell you something” he starts.

“no son you don’t, you’re here to repair your future, not mine,” she tells him softly, reaching out to take his hand.

“This is about your future” Thor presses.

“it's none of my business” she smiles.

Thor wants to argue more but doesn’t get the chance as Rocket comes bursting around the corner “hi” he pants catching his breath “you must be mom” he says looking up at Frigga before turning to thor “I got the thing, come on we gotta move”

“Oh, I wish we had more time” Thor sighs turning back to Frigga.

“no this was a gift” Frigga smiles taking his hands and squeezing them “now you go and be the man you’re meant to be… and give my grandson and son-in-law a hug for me” she adds with a smirk.

Thor nods feeling himself well up once more “I love you mom”

“I love you” she whispers hugging him tightly “and eat a salad,” she says as he steps back.

Thor nods his head in agreement, hearing Rocket count down beside him as he realises he had one last thing to do.

“no wait!” he shouts stopping rocket before thrusting out his hand, if he could do this he could do what his mother said, he could be better.

“what am I looking at?” Rocket mutters in confusion.

“Sometimes it takes a second,” Frigga says with a small shrug of her shoulders.

Thor peaked open one eye just as he felt the familiar tingling sensation in his fingers, opening his eyes fully when Mjolnir landed in his hand. Thor laughs in disbelief flipping the hammer in his hands “I’m still worthy” he mutters to himself.

“you always will be, now go” Frigga smiles.

Thor smiles nodding his head “goodbye mom” he smiles as the suit activates and he disappears into the quantum realm.

Steve and Tony reappeared out of the quantum realm inside an old abandoned hut inside Camp Leigh. Steve walks straight over to one of the windows slyly glancing outside to confirm they were in the right place.

“this is it, we’re gonna need to change I can’t exactly walk around like this,” Steve says turning back to Tony, gesturing down to his Captain America suit.

“agreed, you stay here while I scout something” Tony nods before slipping out of the hut.

Steve let out a long sigh as he glanced back out of the window, Camp Leigh was very different to what he remembered from back in the 40s. He couldn’t remember it ever being this busy. A feeling of dread settled into his stomach, what if they couldn’t get the tesseract or the pym particles? What if they ended up trapped here? Steve would be an old man by the time he saw JJ again.

“shit…” Steve muttered running his hand down his face.

He startled slightly when Tony walked back into the hut “got myself a nice suit and you a Captain’s uniform, thought it was fitting” Tony smirked before frowning slightly “you alright there cap?”

“yeah,” Steve coughs nodding his head.

Tony raises a brow “I may not know you like Y/N does but even I can tell that’s bullshit, so get whatever it is off your chest because we need your head in the game cap” Tony states crossing his arms over his chest.

Steve huffs quietly before glancing out the window once more “I’m just worried we haven’t thought this through… if this goes wrong Tony we’ll have to wait decades to see anyone we know again” Steve sighs shaking his head.

Tony nods his head gently “I know but I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think it would work, you know I’m trying to think more and act less” Steve lets out a small chuckle hearing that “look you’re more likely to get spotted so why don’t you go after the Pym particles and as soon as it goes south you get out of there and back to JJ” Tony suggests.

Steve frowns “but what about you?” he asks.

“Hopefully I’ll be right behind you, I can grab some myself if I need to, and if not I’m sure I can work something out” Tony shrugs.

A small smile tugs at Steve’s lips “thank you Tony”

Tony shrugs casually but Steve could see a hint of a smile on his face “it’s nothing you’ve put up with enough of my crap over the years… just paying you back” he says passing over the uniform.

“Thanks Tony” Steve smiles.

Once they were changed they made their way onto the base, passing by one of the many signs that proudly displayed the phrase ‘birthplace of Captain America”

“Clearly you weren’t actually born here right?” Tony asks quietly as they walked alongside a building.

“The idea of me was” Steve mutters tilting his head down to hide his face.

“right well imagine you’re SHIELD running a quasi-fascistic intelligence organization… where do you hide it?” Tony asks peering into one of the windows as they pass.

Steve comes to a stop when he spots the bunker they needed, the one he knew was suspicious when he last visited “in plain sight” he says nodding in its direction.

Tony taps the sides of his glasses before nodding “let's go then” he mutters, the two of them walking over to the bunker.

They step inside the elevator that would take them down, the doors were about to close when a small black woman holding a file stepped in. Steve cursed their luck as he dipped his head, thankfully the woman seemed too engrossed in her file to notice. That distraction didn’t last long though as Steve then noticed her glancing up with a curious look on her face. Tony however stepped forward into her line of sight, effectively blocking her view of Steve… or at least obstructing it.

That was at least until the elevator doors opened onto the floor Tony needed “good luck on your mission Captain” Tony says glancing over before stepping out of the elevator.

“good luck on your…project doctor,” Steve says wincing internally when he heard how unnatural he sounded, Tony clearly thinking the same as he rolled his eyes.

“you new here?” the lady asked once the doors to the elevator shut, a pleasant smile on her face.

Steve takes a moment trying to decide how to answer, cursing whatever god or being it was that made him so bad at lying “not exactly” he settles on.

The woman gives him a polite nod and Steve feels his nerves getting the better of him. He didn’t lie, not really, but it definitely wasn’t the truth and he was panicking that she could see right through him. Thankfully the elevator doors opened giving Steve the perfect escape. He heard her call out saying have a nice day but he didn’t dare respond.

Steve made his way down the corridors before finding a room with a telephone in, quickly dialling the number to Hank Pym’s lab.

“Hello?” Hank answered in a cheery voice.

“Doctor Pym?” Steve asks not certain if he’d called the right number.

“That would be the number you called yes” Hank sighed.

“This is Captain…Stevens from shipping, we have a package for you” Steve says wincing slightly, he’s never been good at espionage.

“oh bring it up,” Hank tells him.

“well that’s the thing sir, we can’t” Steve answers scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m confused I thought that was your job” Hank mutters clearly unimpressed.

“well it's just… sir the box is glowing… and it- to be honest some of our mail guys aren’t feeling that great” Steve answers.

“They didn’t open it did they?” Hank mutters.

“uh yeah they did, you better get down here,” Steve says smirking to himself, it was finally going to plan, maybe Steve wasn’t as bad as he thought.

Steve hears the line disconnect and then the sound of Hank running down the corridor. Steve poked his head out of the room to make sure the coast was clear before making his way into the lab.

Once inside he quickly starts searching, cursing to himself when he couldn’t spot them. He only had a short period of time, as soon as Hank realised there wasn’t a glowing package the alarm would almost certainly get raised. He then spots something red in the corner of his eye, looking over he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the particles in a fume cupboard.

Walking over he quickly and carefully reaches in, grabbing four vials of pym particles, just in case they needed more. Making sure to leave some in case Tony needed to run in and grab some.

Slipping back out into the corridor Steve starts making his way back towards the elevator. He was about halfway there when he spotted the woman from the elevator up ahead with two guards.

“And you’ve never seen these two men before?” one of the guards asks.

“no I’ve got an eye for this, the two of them looked fishy,” she says shaking her head.

Steve curses under his breath tipping his head down to hide his face “one of them had a hippie beard” she continues as Steve glances around for somewhere to hide.

Turning around he spots a doorway and without hesitating he makes his way inside, closing the door behind him. He keeps his back to the wall, listening out for when the lady and the two guards walked passed.

Once he heard them go he breathed out a small sigh of relief glancing around the room as he made his way back to the door. His hand was just about to grab the handle when a picture on the desk caught his eye. He frown as he approached unsure if what he was seeing was true or not but as he picked up the picture there was no denying it. especially when he glanced back over at the door to see ‘Margeret Carter – Director’ written on it. This was the picture that Peggy had given you and him for a wedding present, the photo from his days training at this very camp, the one that sat on her desk for years.

He turned when he heard distant voices approaching, specifically one he never thought he’d see again. He looked through the blinds into the adjected room where he saw Peggy talking to another man. Steve couldn’t help but slowly walk closer to the window, watching the heated discussion as she flicked through files on a table.

He couldn’t deny there was a time in Steve’s life when he wondered what it would be like if he could travel back in time to be with Peggy, and maybe a part of him always wonder what if he never went into the ice. But standing here now, watching his first love he didn’t feel regret or wish his life had been different. He felt peace. As if he’d finally gotten the closure he didn’t know he needed because in the space of less than a day he’d seen both past you and past Peggy, and he was far more happier to see you again, and if he had to choose which life to relive, he’d always pick you.

He let out a long sigh as he watches Peggy walk back out of the room, a small smile playing on his lips. He glanced back over to the door looking at the role she worked her way up to “I’m proud of you peg” he smiles as he puts the photo back down and makes his way out.

Once he made his way back to the surface he made sure to stand somewhere out of the way until he spotted Tony. He didn’t have to wait long until he saw him walking out of a building with another man, it took Steve a couple of moments to recognise who it was, it was Howard.

Tony glanced over in Steve’s direction, Steve responding with a small but slightly awkward thumbs up to say he got the pym particles. He watched the two of them talk for a moment, wondering what they could be talking about, hoping it was something that would be good for Tony. Once Howards stepped away Steve nodded his head in question, getting his answer when Tony pointed to the briefcase allowing Steve to breathe a sigh of relief.

Steve watches as Tony hugs his father before stepping away and walking in Steve’s direction.

“you alright?” Steve asks once Tony reached him.

“um” Tony mutters scratching the back of his neck “yeah I think so,” he says nodding his head.

“Good, we should probably get out of here, some guards are looking for us,” Steve says clearing his throat as he glanced around.

“right sure let's get back to the hut and collect everything before anyone finds it” Tony nods.

Steve nods in agreement and the two of them begin walking back to the hut in silence. Steve bites his lip lightly the air feeling awkward between the two of them as if they both wanted to say something but didn’t know what.

“you know if you wanna talk about it, you know who you just saw then you can talk to me about it…” Steve offers quietly, only getting a small hum in response “I just… I understand what you’re probably feeling right now… I um- I uh saw Peg in there…” he says Tony looking over at him brows raised in surprise “and uh Y/N back in New York… I actually got to speak to her…” Steve continues looking down at the floor.

Tony paused for a moment turning to face Steve “shit…” he mutters under his breath “how are you feeling about all that” he asks.

Steve takes a deep breath “alright… I’m glad I got to… it was difficult but it’s just made me more determined to get Y/N back” he says nodding slightly as he looked back at Tony.

A small smile grows on Tony’s face as he nods and puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder “I’m happy for you Rogers, really, and don’t worry about me see my old man was good, it made me see things in a new and better light” Tony smiles.

“I’m glad Tony, I know the Howard I knew was different to the one you did, but I do know he’d be proud of you,” Steve tells him.

Tony clears his throat nodding slightly as he looked down at the ground “thank… well um I think that's enough heart-to-heart for one day… let's um get back home shall we?” Tony says walking off before Steve even got a chance to argue.

Once back in the hut they stuffed their hold gear away and put the pym particles into their suits. Calibrating the suits they nodded once more at each other before disappearing back into the quantum realm for the last time.

Reappearing back into the compound Steve glanced around trying to see if everyone else had been successful in their missions.

“Did we get them all?” Bruce asks holding the time stone.

“Are you telling me this actually worked?” Rhodey smiled as he held up the power stone.

Steve breathed out a quick sigh of relief, they’d done it, they had all the stones. They were one step closer to getting everybody back. getting you back. Steve’s brief moment of celebration was shattered when Clint dropped to his knees beside him. Steve turned to look at him, his face falling when he noticed Nat wasn’t standing beside him.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked.

Clint remained silent, slowly glancing up at Steve with tears in his eyes. Steve knew what the answer was, even if he did pray to every god out there that he was wrong. Nat was gone.

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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[haeva]

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I want to sleep in and catch the nearest flight to the Netherlands.

Facing this mountain of a book to edit and rewrite, these symptoms the doctors can’t figure out, trying to stay strong with my dad being sick, and now a creep hanging out at the mall catcalling me and my coworker.

I’m probably writing this as a coping mechanism so I can go to bed without such thoughts plaguing my mind. I think one of these days I’m going to break down.

These trials come, but they always seem to go. Even things I thought, and felt, could last forever, faded away. I’ll get through this. It’s just a latest rainy season I suppose.

Few things have remained the last year and a half. Friendships, bonds with family members, my mother’s love. The joy I have with my little dog Watson. My writing. The way the sun shines into my window onto the bookshelf in the evening. My favorite stories that are always amazing every time I reread them. Comfort movies I put on while studying. You. Our bond, tethered by pen pal messages and anonymous love letters, co-bloggers and writers. You’re out there, probably in school listening to some boring professor (trust me love, I’m sure you outshine them all), or in your apartment making earl grey tea. I think it’s breakfast time there, right?

I miss you. I just want to feel your embrace and my worries melt away into nothing. Some days more than others. Tonight is one of those.

I hear the coyotes now, howling and singing their songs in the distance beyond the hills. (Far beyond, don’t worry, they don’t come near houses) I hear crickets as well, and the tick of my clock which I’m pretty sure needs new batteries. It feels so still. Peaceful.

Show up in my dreams, pretty please?

(as a matter of habit, I almost clicked “ask anonymously”)

Oh how I've missed these poetic diary entries. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he gets better and if he can't then I hope he finds peace.

I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, no one in my family has ever been sick. But I do know the feeling of wanting to pack up and leave, even if it's just for a little while.

I think about it when I feel like I have no one left in this place who cares for me. I think about it when I'm barely passing my classes and everyone else seems so much smarter than me. I think about it when I realise how my life didn't go the way I planned. I screwed up and it makes me want to cry.

In those moments I imagine what places I would go. The US comes up a lot, New York, Los Angeles, there's so many cities to visit. But whichever one I imagine, I always picture you there.

I have seen myself running into you at the mall. Or us meeting at some airport. I have even pictured you in Amsterdam and even though it's not where I live, I'm there that day. But if you saw me, really saw me, would you still like me? Or would I be better off remaining a fantasy in your head? I can be perfect that way, while the reality is flawed.

Tell me, did I show up in your dreams after all? Because you have shown up in mine.

[itsbrea]

this is my first short story , let me know what you think . Thumbs up or thumbs down

The best friend . 🩵

You know what they say about best friends , “they do everything together” , in this case that’s what these best friends do literally let’s see how it all folds out in the short story best friend .

*************

Me and my best friend have been best friends since 9th grade year , I’ve never really looked at him nothing more than a friend , or like a homeboy that’s it that’s all but every since we graduated high school and got into college we became even more closer , he has a girlfriend but he always makes time for me literally every time. I have been here way longer so I completely understand , her name is Monica she isn’t much of my friend but she cool ! I don’t have no beef , except this one time she accused me of sleeping with Justin and yeah it’s like she was delusional about the whole thing but anyway yeah to make a long story short she found out we didn’t do anything and she apologized , which I didn’t give a fuck about because I don’t accept apologies when I know I didn’t do anything wrong . Let’s get into the time me and my best friend did actually have sex , and made me cum more than anybody I’ve ever fucked with .

So it was finals week and it was crunch time I hadn’t had much time to do anything , not even give my dog any attention , she was fucking tired of me I laughed to myself , I rolled out of bed and got ready for my classes today , I only got two classes thank god ! I hoped out of the shower and threw on a white fitted tee with just a little of my belly showing , some grey Nike leggings , my Air Force ones , and a light Grey fitted jacket . I threw my hair up in a pony tail , put on my hair store lip gloss the one that complimented my brown skin , and we will talk about my hair another time because even though it hangs to the middle of my back and a good grade I still don’t wanna deal with it ! I was supposed to be meeting up with Justin but I told him I was to busy and he wasn’t having that , so he told me we was gone talk later ! I hated when he did that cause I was always anxious all day long .

Classes ended right at 2:00 pm which made it even better because now I had the freedom to do whatever , I wanted to catch up on some errands I needed done but that could wait I needed to head to Justin before he had a heart attack. It’s like my best friend is super protective over me and sometimes in the back of my mind I think he likes me , but that’s reaching I took out my phone to FaceTime him so I could see where he exactly was because I hate driving to him and it’s always so much going on .

**************

J: wassup mamas

S: where are you ? Wanna meet up?

J: yeah matter fact meet me at my parents house

S: I’m alllll the way on the other side of town Justinnnnnn I said through my whining lips

J: Skylar I’m not asking you , I’m telling you , stop playing with me

He knew that slightly turned me on when he did and said stuff like that , he clenched his jaws and licked his lips , it’s like I would never cross that line with him but he was so fine these days ! I had to get these thoughts out my head because we are best friends I can’t be thinking about him like that .

S: ugh fine okay I’ll see you in a minute big head !

J: bet , aye you want something from the store

S: skittles and some Funyuns

J: onion breath ass girl , aite bet * clicks off *

I threw my phone in the cup holder and pulled out the lot I’m not sure why it’s so much traffic out but that’s really about to annoy me , see Justin’s parents live like 25 minutes from me and maybe like 30 minutes on a bad day so I wanted to get there before traffic started but shit looks like it beat me , after sitting for about 20 minutes which felt like an hour I finally sped towards Justin’s hoping there wasn’t a cop around because the way I’m driving is illegal I laughed out loud and parked my car, I checked myself before going in my 5’4 frame went well with my slim thick body , my boobs set nice I wear a 44c , and my ass you could see from a mile away I was always blessed with a nice body thanks to my mom . I headed towards Justin’s apartment and knocked on the door , he came to the door and smiled he pulled me in by my arm and closed the door . Justin was 6’2 , dark skin , long pretty curly hair , grills complimented his dark soft skin , nice beard , hard body , and voice so deep and smooth he could get any girl he wanted . He also has good hair because his dad is full Indian , Cherokee to be exact , his mom on the other hand was Jamaican beautiful soul , I love his mom . He had on a white tshirt , grey Nike shorts , Nike socks , and some white forces I’m sure , they weren’t on his feet but I’m sure that’s what completed his fit . His hair hung loosely over his shoulders and out of his face , he just looked so fucking good today like he dressed up nice just for me , I’m reaching again let me relax I’m all over the place

“Come here”, Justin said as he grabbed me by my waist he always grabbed me like this so it wasn’t uncomfortable for me at all , I actually loved when he pulled me close he smelled so good , I put my arms around his neck and he caressed my ass , yes he love feeling on my fat ass and most of the time I would let him , today he was making me horny “Justinnnn, stop” I said as I bit my lip from moaning , he picked me up and put me on the counter he looked up at me and grabbed my waist I tilted my body back a little and showed off my figure even more , he licked his lips at me like he wanted to eat me off the bone

S: why you looking at me like that ? I said as I laughed

J: because I fucking can , nigga where tf you been? MIA and shit , been to busy and shit you better make time for me sky damn

S: okay I promise best friend , Ive just been busy asf with homework and classes we can go do lunch or something tomorrow .

J: that’s a bet he said as he massaged the side of my neck

S: justinnnn , ssss stop , fuck . my eyes almost went to the back of my head

Justin was really acting weird like he wanted to fuck or something and he knew that wasn’t happening I’m use to his flirty ways but he knows if he wants to do anything he has to be single period I know what y’all thinking but isn’t he your best friend , yes I know we just got that bond . I tilted my head looking at him and scrunched my nose up “get away from me crazy” I said laughing as i hopped off the counter onto the floor , I took off running towards his room and ran in the closet he always wanna play and shit .

J: *out of breath* sky why you always wanna play man , skkkkkyyyyy

I jumped out & scared the living shit out of him it was soooo funny ! He picked me up and threw me on the bed , which kinda hurt “stop fucking playing with me skylar before I fuck you up in here” he said as he went towards the bathroom , his house was like one of those mansions you seen on a movie , super sweet space , and his bedroom was just as big , I got up and went behind him , “what did you want to talk about so bad” I said as I hopped on the counter beside him as he threw his hair up in a man bun , he adjusted his stance and turned towards me , “remember when we were at the party couple nights ago, and you was all up on Jarell?” I looked confused because what did that have anything to do with it , I shook my head yeah

***********

S: yeah so? Why you mentioning that ?

J: because tf you doing all up on him for grinding your shit all up on him

S: J ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS

J: aight imma let it go

Justin never gets mad about little shit like that , he’s obviously jealous because it’s one of his friends I apologized and laid across his bed , Justin was walking across the room and locked the door I looked over because what is he doing , he came back towards me & told me to take my leggings and panties off I gasped because he ain’t never told me nothing like that before , I got up and looked at him half crazy

S: excuse me? Lol

J: you heard what the fuck I said sky , he said as he stood over me

S: bu..buuuut what about Monica ?

J: I’m not worried about her right now , take them panties off before I do it for you

I stood up and slid my leggings and thongs down exposing my waxed vagina to him , he licked his lips and grabbed me by my waist and pulled me on top of him we switched positions now he was on top of me taking off my shirt leaving me in just my bra , he kissed on my neck and massaged my clit while he did it , I was in heaven because I never thought we would be doing this , “fuck Justinnnn” I said as I moaned out and tried to move his hand , “move your fucking hand , stop playing with me” he continued to massage my clit till I came , he kissed down my stomach which made my body jump something serious because his tongue and lips felt so fucking good ! His warm tongue flicked and sucked on my clit as my body shivered from the orgasm I knew was about to come , “ omg justinnnn , fuck I’m about to cum please” I said as I slid my pussy across his lips . “Mmhm , nut all on daddy tongue” he said as he kept flicking his tongue fuck I was Cummin all over him. He came up and tongue kissed me while his hand was around my neck , “pussy taste so fucking good, got damn and it’s fat and wet sheesh” Justin said as he bent me over and rubbed oil all on my fat ass , he smacked my ass so hard I think he was tryna get back at me for being buddy buddy with his home boy . “Ouah, that hurt” I made a face at him, he told me to shut the fuck up and don’t worry about it, he laid up against the headboard and stroked his big long chocolate dick I drooled over it faithfully. I bent over and took him in my mouth sucking the tip first circling my tongue around his tip till he shoves it in my throat I opened my mouth a little wider sliding my tongue up and down on his dick as I sucked even harder my mouth was just getting more wet. “Mmm, ssss come here bend that ass over right here mhm just like that mama” I got in my best from the back position and he slide his 8in dick in me , I gasped because it felt so good going in he was fucking me so good I started crying

J: yeah next time you’ll keep your hands to yourself right? Right? Stop playing with me sky

S: *whimpers* I’m sorrrrrrrry daddy, fuck fuck I will keep my hands to myself ouahhhh

J:fuck your sorry , fuck that sorry he said as he pushed my head into the pillow , yeah I’ll tear this pussy up every time you disobey me you hear me mmm, shit

S : omgggggg fuck im about to cum daddy please I said as I closed my eyes

He turned me over into missionary and scooted me to the edge of the bed , he rubbed my clit as he fucked me so good , he finally nutted on my pussy and walked to the bathroom

I laid there just stuck because he turned me every way but loose that was the best time I’ve ever had .

J: that’s my pussy if I want it to be he said as he came back behind me

S : it can be , you fucked me so good Justin wtf

J : I’m that nigga stop playing with me , it’s mine I ain asking mo

S: boooooy , I said laughing out loud I only laughed cause he was serious

So from that point on me and my best friend were more than just that , & we continued to pursue whatever we wanted , talk about being best friends .

[hibewriter]

Summer Days

Masterlist Read it on AO3

Shadow & Bone | Darklina | 1.9K | E

Tags: Semi-public sex, Pool Sex, Vaginal Fingering, PinV sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, Age-Gap

Summer was Alina Starkov’s favorite time of year. The sun shined brightly, the colors in the world seemed so vivid , and she got to spend her days lounging in the Morozova’s pool, drinking virgin daiquiris that his servant Ivan made. Well, his father’s servant Ivan. Malyen was always quick to correct her when the topic came up. 

“None of this is mine, Lina. It’s all that bastard’s. I’ll be lucky to even see a dime.” 

She always thought he was dramatic. Sure, in the thirteen years since they met (at the ripe old age of five), she’d only met Mr. Morozova a handful of times. Short interactions as he zipped to and fro, meetings with dignitaries and the leader of their nation. He was an important man, with an even more important bank account. But he was always kind, smiling ear to ear when he saw her, calling to her by his pet name for her. 

“Myshka! Welcome back. Though I assume at this point you’re here more than me. “

Jokes as he would move to grab a drink, no matter the time of day. 

“An old-fashioned is appropriate after a long day, and before. Sometimes, even the middle.” 

A wink always followed his words. It was always playful, always fun. She felt it shift five summers ago. When her father left her mother and she stayed at their house for a month, refusing to go home to her mother’s dead stare. Cold dinners, and distant stares as she reeled from the man who promised to love her run off with a twenty-year-old escort he’d met a year prior. She remembered crying a lot, trying to make herself small in the house. It wasn’t even her marriage, yet she would be posted on Aleksander’s expensive white leather couch, eating ice cream and crying to re-runs of The Breakfast Club . 

She should’ve known he’d try to take care of her then. He’d come in one random day. Early, clearly pissed off. Malyen was at football practice, having decided to go for sports that year. She was on the couch, crying and watching that same fucking movie for the third time that day. He’d sat down on the couch with her, spoon in hand as he reached over and took a scoop out of her tub of ice cream. She’d stopped using bowls. 

“You don’t have to talk to me, myshka. I know I’m not always around, but I’ll be here if you need me.”

She remembered scooting close to him, curling into his side, and sharing the ice cream in silence as Bender antagonized Claire about her lipstick. As the teens ran around the school trying not to get caught and falling in love as they realized none of them led perfect lives. She hadn’t said anything to him. Not about her father. But she did fall asleep in his arms, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest rocking her to sleep. 

That was probably the beginning. This crush that captured her waking moments. She still spent an inordinate amount of time at their house, and this was the last summer before Mal would go off to college, and she’d stay here at community college, waitressing at the same fucking restaurant. Maybe she’d make it somewhere. 

“Excited for college?” The deep voice wafted into her ears like a siren’s song. She opened her eyes from her relaxed position on the pool lounger, turning toward the source. He got better with age, she noted. The past five years she’d been watching, his dark hair growing peppered with grey strands probably the only true sign of age on him. Whenever he found the time to maintain a workout routine and surprisingly good skin, it all paid off as she gazed at the shirtless man setting a towel on the lounger next to her. 

“Mhmm, though I’m just going down the road. Community college is all I can afford right now.” She closed her eyes again, basking in the warmth the sun provided. She missed his frown, though she heard the bench scrapping closer. 

“Oh, for some reason I just assumed you’d go to UCal with Malyen.” She smirked, turning her head once more. It was rare Aleksander had a day off, even rarer that he came to speak to her now that Malyen needed all the attention. Girls, college, football. All his favorite things needed a father. She would be upset, but five years was enough time to figure things out on her own. Maybe. 

“Why, trying to get rid of me, Sasha?” She joked, flashing him an insincere smile. He chuckled, leaning back in his own chair. 

“I don’t think I can ever get rid of you, myshka . Even when you’re not here you’re everywhere in this house.” He mused, almost distractedly. Her smile faltered slightly, as she watched him relax into his chair. She gave a huff, seeing the way his chest rose and fell, the way he took a sip of his drink. Does he drink anything other than old-fashioned whiskey older than him? Probably not. 

“Well, you’re stuck with me, even when Mal is gone. I have to make sure such an old man isn’t home alone.” It was a jest, but partially the truth. Mal was bitter enough already about his father’s upcoming announcement. Early retirement he’d said. He had set millions aside for Mal’s education, but the football scholarship took care of that. So he gave Mal a brand new Audi, a paid-off penthouse in downtown LA and decided to leave his position in the military. Not that he needed it. Whatever old money he had was more than enough. But she guessed he was to do what he wanted. 

“The best company I could’ve asked for.” He flashed her a genuine smile. She cursed the way her heart fluttered, the way she could feel her pulse in her cunt as his gaze returned to her. Nearly five years and she still had this fucking crush . 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

She smiled, standing up before stalking over to the edge of his pool. Her back to him she didn’t notice how his eyes traveled over her body, the bikini exposing plenty of her skin, tanned by the hours in the sun. She stretched tall, a breath escaping her in a semblance of a moan. Never noticing how his eyes darkened before she lowered herself into the pool. He averted his gaze, back to the bar in the house as she turned around, wading backward. 

“Joining me old man?” He smirked, looking at her face. 

“I’m not that old, Alinochinka.” She frowned at his use of her name, tilting her head at him quizzically. 

“It’s myshka to you Sasha.” He stood, approaching the pool before sitting at its edge. 

“Not when you’re being a brat, Alinochinka.” He smirked as her eyes narrowed, as she waded back to him, fitting her body between his parted thighs. She had to crane her neck to look up at him, his dark eyes boring into hers. She could swear he could see right through her, down to her very soul. 

“But I’m your brat, Sasha.” there it was. That flicker of desire as his gaze dropped perceptually to her lips, before flicking back to her eyes. She placed her hands on his thighs. Pushing herself up from the water so that their faces were mere centimeters apart. 

“Alina, we -” He didn’t finish his sentence, as her lips pressed lightly against his. She swallowed his groan, a soft moan of her own escaping into his mouth. It was over too short, as she sunk back down into the water. He followed her down, following her as she began to wade away. 

“I’m so sorry Sasha I don’t know what came over me it was so du-” her words failed as he cornered her into the opposite wall of the pool, his lips descending on hers once more. She was frozen for a moment before she melted into him. Her lips returned in kind, as he lifted her weightless in his arms, legs wrapping snuggly around his waist. Her hands raised to tangle in his hair, pressing her breast close to his chest. 

His hands were all over her hips, slipping into her bikini bottoms. His lips swallowed her moan as his fingers brushed her clit. She pulled away, breaking their kiss to gasp for air, but he didn’t stop, lowering his kiss to her neck as she clung to him. He pushed aside her bikini bottoms, fingers slipping easily inside her. She rocked herself on his fingers as he thrust them into her, his thumb coming to plant itself on her clit as she gasped out loud. 

“Shhh myshka . I need you to be quiet. We wouldn’t want to disrupt the neighbors.” She could only whimper in his arms as he continued his assault, her hips not fast enough to chase his fingers inside her. She leveraged her leg, pushing at his swim trunks, lowering them down as she felt his smirk against her skin. 

“Sasha…please. I need you.” She whimpered in his ear. He groaned, letting go of her to finish freeing himself from the confines of his trunks. 

“ Myshka if we do this there’s no going back.” He muttered into her ear, but all she could focus on was the heady feel of his cock against her core. 

“I don’t want to go back” she moaned back. “I just want you, Daddy.” She smirked slightly as he groaned, pressing forward slightly. The smirk was all but forgotten as she felt him. The tip alone was such a stretch, her nails digging into his shoulders as he slowly inched his way in. She was just so full . 

“Daddy huh? Don’t make this more messed up than it needs to be Alina.” He kissed the side of her mouth, capturing the edge of her gasp as he gave a thrust into her. The water sloshed around them with his force, and it was all she could do to hang on. 

“You didn’t seem to mind it - ah - Daddy .” She moaned out, attempting to match him, but all she could do was take what he gave to her. His thrust filled her, again, harder as she whispered the name she never thought she’d utter for him again and again. 

Daddydaddydaddy fuckohfuck . She was on the edge, she felt it coming as she held to him. She wanted him to be hers, forever. Just the two of them. She cried out as his thumb returned to her clit, clenching tight around him as her orgasm flooded her senses. He gave a shuddering thrust into her, following her over the precipice. 

She stayed in his arms, panting as he slipped out of her. Their heavy breaths followed, letting the water help them calm down. He let her down, as she attempted to float while he righted his trunks. 

“I meant it, Sasha.” She murmured, looking down at the water. He raised an eyebrow, reaching to cup her chin in his hands. He forced her gaze to him, the expectant look for her to speak her mind clear on his face. “I only want you. It’s always been you.” He nodded, eyes unreadable as he crowded her space once again. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.” His voice was soft, almost like a prayer before he captured her lips in his again. 

[thesefourwallsstory]

Part 1

It's a rainy Tuesday afternoon, I'm riding the train home from work as always. Thinking about the approaching bliss of being able to lay down in my bed; I doze off and begin monologuing. 

I suppose I should properly introduce myself, my name is Ren Fukushima, I’m pushing 23 and I’m caught up in an office job I’ll probably never get out of. I’ve got short black hair that stays relatively unkempt most of the time and my eyes are grey. My hope is to get a chance to return to university and study something that actually interests me, not like I actually know what that would be. To be totally honest though, I’m not sure what I want from my life, no matter how much money I may make I don’t think that’ll magically make me happy. I’ve spent the better half of 3 years in this apartment complex scraping together what I can to move out to a more urban area to hopefully get a better job. But, it looks like for now that's just a fruitless dream, my savings get eaten up any time something unexpected happens, like my phone deciding to break or my old laptop offing itself. I don’t get how some people do it, just put on a brave face and act like nothing is wrong, like they aren’t horribly dissatisfied with everything in their life. I’m still a young guy, not even 25 and I’m crippled by my lack of proper social interaction. I haven’t made any friends since leaving high school and God knows I’ve never been asked out. I’m a lonely, sad loser and at this point I don’t even receive pity.

 Without any warning, the outside noise slips into my head. "Now arr..... at .....oshi Station '' still half asleep I can hardly make out the words. "Last call for Togoshi Station '', "SHIT". I quickly scoop up my bag and rush to the exit, barely managing to squeeze through the doors before the train takes off. I catch my breath for a moment, pull out my umbrella, and begin making my way to my apartment. 

Oh god the apartment, the daydreams of a comfy night with peace and quiet are shattered as I recall the horrors of my next door neighbor and “his” awful, AWFUL guitar. I hurriedly make my way home and retire to my little slice of solitude before "he" gets home as well. I lay in my bed and scroll through Twitter, hoping desperately one or two of my few remaining friends will reach out to help keep me sane. But the messages never come and soon the thoughts in my head are replaced with a deafening silence. I lay still, hoping sleep takes me before either my thoughts overwhelm me or "he" does. 

My phone vibrates and for a moment I’m hopeful, then it turns out to be another spam text, “Ren-kun, I miss you sooooooo much, I just want you to touch me and………” it went on for a while with “her” telling me all sorts of things that no sane person would just say phishing for me to sign up for some scummy website where I’d find the “girl of my dreams”. Sure I’m lonely, but I’m not that lonely. 

My train of thought is suddenly violated by the sound of a truly awful timbre, “he” is home. Let me tell you about this guy, first off, as we've established, “he” is my neighbor, normally I don't mind my neighbors but this one, well he defied all my expectations. I thought being quiet and respectful to other tenants was just common courtesy but this man, he just doesn't know when to stop, he's loud and rambunctious, always talking like he wants the whole damn ward to hear him whenever he has someone over, which mind you, is nearly every day. He's always got one of his work buddies, drinking friends, or a girl over and he just doesn't know how to shut it. And don't even get me started on his guitar, that horrid instrument brings nothing but abject pain into my life. But I've run dry of the energy to mindlessly rant anymore, I've slept through those damn strings before, I'll do it again. Before I realize it, I’m already asleep.

[chia-moonchild]

Dear me,

It’s very hard to explain the things that go on in my head. There are too many thoughts and they’re hard to keep track of. Right now it’s 1:55 am. I’m sleeping in my sister’s bed. There’s a window open above my head. I Can feel the cold wind blow in from time to time. I can hear the wind rustling the leaves of the trees in the backyard. My sister is snoring. She’s got school tomorrow. I am slightly sad that I’ll be missing her graduation. I’ve always felt like the good things are always gone for her. And I don’t mean me although she seems to admire me a lot. I hope that when we grow older that we’ll still be like the sisters we grow up being. I’ve seen my parents’ and their siblings treating each other like strangers when they grew up under the same roof, just like my sisters and I. I don’t want my sisters to become strangers. I don’t know if I’ll ever marry, but if I don’t, I want to be with them until I die. I do love them very much. They make me better. I wish I could express this to them, but I can’t. I’m not good at expressing my emotions. I’ve only ever cried in front of them like twice. Isn’t that sad?

Anyway, I think I’ll go write blue and grey now. I’m on the 10th chapter. Did you finish it? I hope you did. It’s a good one.