#i’ll be sure to show y’all him once I get it <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[elliotts-personal-property]

ATTENTION Y’ALL I NEED HELP‼️

Later today for my birthday I’m going to build a bear (to heal my inner child who never got to😭) And I desperately need name ideas for my bear. I’m hoping for some classic rock or metal band/rockstar themed suggestions, please and thank you!!

[nxuvillette]

“THERE’S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING”

LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY W/ TR MEN

synopsis: your first time is supposed to be special and with the right person. luckily, you have an amazing boyfriend who is willing to make that dream come true.

❥- including : manjiro (mikey) sano, ken (draken) ryuguji, baji keisuke, hanma shuji

❥- note : first tr post 👍🏻 i’m kinda nervous because these were a little longer than my last post but i hope y’all enjoy <3. reblogs are appreciated!!

content warnings: nsfw [17+], fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, virgin!reader, established relationship, virginity loss, praising, oral sex [f!receiving] (mikey , baji), fingering (draken , baji , hanma), finger sucking (baji), slight breeding kink (hanma), creampie (draken , hanma) use of pet names (baby , princess , babydoll , doll) multiple orgasms.

♡ MANJIRO (MIKEY) SANO

you and your boyfriend mikey had been together for a little while. he was nothing but kind to you, and you honestly trusted him more than anybody else that you knew. he was everything.

intimacy had never really crossed his mind before. sure, he knew sex was important, but it wasn’t something he necessarily saw as a necessity in your relationship. not to mention, you were a virgin. you knew things about sex and such, but you never acted upon those desires you had inside your head. mikey was also patient. he never really saw sex as something that had to be rushed. 

eventually, you reached that point after your one year anniversary that you were ready to lose it to him.

mikey honestly couldn’t believe that he did so little to you, yet you were a dripping mess when he took your panties off. he believed if you weren’t a virgin he wouldn’t even need to do foreplay to make you feel good, but he wanted to make sure you were prepped and you got to experience a great first time with him. 

his favorite part was watching you squirm and tremble as his tongue dove into your sopping pussy. you hadn’t experienced such a feeling before and it was so thrilling. his tongue dragged along your slit and you almost came from him just eating you out. mikey couldn’t get enough of how delicious you tasted. he was in disbelief that someone as good as you was hiding like this for so long. it took everything in him to not keep eating you out. 

when mikey finally entered you, you were both in complete heaven. 

mikey was fairly long and his size made you gasp. he was reaching spots that made your mind feel dizzy. with all of the prep he did it also didn’t feel as bad as you thought it would have. he couldn’t believe you felt that amazing. your pussy was hugging his cock so nicely he thought he’d never be able to actually leave it. it was so warm and perfect. 

once you gave him the go ahead to start moving, he made you feel like you were on some type of drug. the feelings you were having were so euphoric. you craved more. you knew he was being gentle on purpose, but you were beyond wanting that soft and delicate sex. 

“m-more, mikey! i need more.. please..” you begged, gripping onto his forearms to show how desperate you were for more of him.

hearing those words snapped something inside mikey, and he ended up quickening his thrusts into you. the tip of his cock kissed your g-spot, making you see white stars in your vision and your body to completely ignite. “fuck.. don’t you worry, baby, i’ll give you all you’ll ever need..” he looked into your eyes, making you feel somewhat flustered at his words. 

you were so close to reaching your high. you were practically clawing at mikey’s back and letting out the most lewd noises every time he rutted into you. this was the first time you had ever felt something so intense in your life. not even your own hand could make you cum that hard. it was like that white hot pleasure in your gut was finally unleashed and it was making you go crazy. mikey had also cum, too. he was in utter shock at how much he released onto your stomach, but he was more than satisfied with the results. 

he pecked your lips, a smile writing itself on his features. “you were so great.. i’m so proud of you.”

♡ KEN (DRAKEN) RYUGUJI

dating toman’s number two was definitely one of the best decisions you had made in your entire life. draken was a better man than your own father and he did everything right in your relationship. he was practically someone who had zero flaws.

there were a few times you and draken had gotten close to actually having sex. sometimes you’d come over to his place and end up with his hands down your pants, but it never escalated to you both carrying out such an act with one another. draken was well aware that you were a virgin and he didn’t really have an issue with that. he wanted to be the one to make you feel good and he didn’t care how much time it took. unlike some men, he had genuine patience.

you and draken had been in his room that night it happened. you were both watching a movie when his hands began to wander around your body, squeezing and massaging your skin to make you feel aroused. it didn’t take long for you to end up on top of your boyfriend with your crotch pressing right up against his aching bulge. 

when you paused in your actions, you whispered to draken that you were ready to finally take that step with him. he was honestly a little surprised to hear such a thing, but he wasted no time pressing your body onto the mattress and going down on you. he almost came on the spot when he came face to face with your weeping pussy. he knew with his size that you’d need the prep, so he took his time with you. 

draken used two of his thick fingers to push into your cunt. he was astonished at how tightly your walls surrounded his digits. he loved hearing you call out his name each time he pumped himself into you. you were such an angel. 

once he had made you cum twice, he knew you were ready. 

you were honestly kind of nervous. draken was the biggest you had ever seen. when he pushed his cock inside you, there was this sharp inhale that escaped your lips. he was so thick. the girth was stretching you out to almost your limit and you practically held onto him for dear life as he bottomed out into you. you didn’t think he’d be able to make it fit, but he did. he could tell you had some discomfort, so he peppered a few kisses onto your face and whispered sweet nothings to ease you. all he wanted was for you to be comfortable. 

you gave him the nod of approval to start moving and you honestly thought he was going to split you in half. his cock was so big. you felt that vein dragging along your walls as he thrusted and it sent you into pure bliss. you could hardly contain the cries of pleasure that spilled from your throat. “d-draken! shit.. ‘feels so good!” you looked at him with hazy eyes while he fucked you so effortlessly.

your voice was like music to his ears. draken’s dick twitched when he heard how his name slipped off your lips. “yeah? you like that, princess? you’re so fuckin’ tight.. i can’t get enough of this pussy..” he grunted. 

that knot inside your belly has finally snapped when those words processed through your foggy brain. draken groaned hard when your cunt clamped around his cock, milking him of what was left in his balls. he couldn’t hide his smirk when he realized he had filled you up with his cum. you seemed to enjoy it too, judging by the moan you let out when you felt him covering your walls with white. 

he leaned towards your ear, his breath fanning against the shell. it sent shivers down your spine at the action. “round two..?” he asked, seductively.

♡ BAJI KEISUKE

sexual intimacy was never something that was a necessity in your relationship with baji. the two of you often focused on more romantic things than the physical aspects of a relationship, but that didn’t mean that you two never craved those inappropriate desires. 

baji knew from day one that you were a virgin. he accidentally asked that “are you a virgin?” question when you both went on a date and almost slapped himself when he realized he came from his mouth. you thought it was kind of funny and you ended up revealing to him that you were a virgin. he didn’t mind at all, and he assured you that he’d never put you in a position where you felt forced to have sex with him. he said sex came naturally and when you were ready to do it with another person.

you and baji went on a nice ride on his bike that night. there was a gorgeous sunset that you both watched and he took you home, expecting you to go into your apartment and not look back. however, he was quite shocked when you tugged his arm to come with you. this hadn’t happened before, so it took him off guard. nonetheless, he followed you up to your apartment and went inside with you. 

after you both shrugged off your jackets, you both ended up in your bedroom and baji was the one on top of you. the two of you hadn’t expected it to become so heated that quickly, but you were too far lost in your bliss to even think about stopping. he paused when he realized you were tugging at his belt buckle. he questioned if you wanted to do it and you nodded eagerly. you told him you were sure that you wanted to proceed and he wasted no time diving into you.

baji thought your body was so gorgeous. he couldn’t stop kissing at your skin and sucking to leave marks on it. when he reached your cunt, his mouth practically watered at the sight of it. it was so puffy and cute that he couldn’t help but have a taste. his tongue swiped over your sensitive bead, causing your thighs to trap his head. he was so talented with his tongue and his fingers that you swore you could cum from just him eating you out. 

once his chin and lips were completely covered in your arousal, he decided to finally pull out his cock that was aching so painfully. 

as soon as baji entered you, your eyes rolled backwards into your skull. the pleasure already felt so amazing that you were already feeling needy for your boyfriend. baji had a pretty impressive size, so taking it was a bit painful at first. he was, however, very good at talking you through that sting. he kissed your lips and whispered how beautiful you were, and he praised you for taking him so well despite the stretch of his cock. 

once he started moving, you wrapped your arms around his neck so you could bring him closer to you. baji thought your pussy hugged him perfectly like you were made for him to make love with. you were so gorgeous. he could hardly keep his eyes off of you. “f-fuck me, baby, you’re so beautiful.. bein’ such a good girl for me..” he pressed his thumb against your pretty lips, in which you sucked on it obediently.

you whined as baji adjusted his angle. his cock was now repeatedly hitting your g-spot which sent waves of pleasure to crash over your body. he was taking such care of your body that you didn’t think you’d ever need to fuck anyone else but him. “baji! oh, god, baji!” your nails dug crescents into his skin as he fucked you.

you threw your head back as your orgasm snapped through you. your pussy creamed around baji, earning several grunts from him. he pulled out the moment he felt his high hurdling towards him. sticky white cum covered your stomach, making a mess on your skin. 

baji kissed your cheek, a smile appearing on his face. “you were perfect.. let’s wash up and cuddle after, yeah?” he nodded, in which you agreed.

♡ HANMA SHUJI

dating someone like hanma shuji meant you had to deal with his sarcasm and also his flirty nature at the same time. however, he treated you like a princess regardless of those random snarky moments he had. he did anything for you and you couldn’t be happier with any other man. 

hanma almost didn’t believe you when you told him you were a virgin. it wasn’t like he thought you were lying for some other reason, but most people your age weren’t virgins. he didn’t see it as a problem, though. hanma thought it would be cute to someday take your virginity. he craved that physical intimacy more than you anticipated, but he was patient with you when it came to the matter. he would wait as long as you wanted, even if there was a side of him that desired to fuck your brains out on a daily basis.

he took you out earlier in the day for some shopping. you were used to being spoiled by him at times, so it wasn’t unusual. he knew the routine fairly well but he was kind of surprised when you both got home and you were being more touchy with him than usual. you brushed yourself over his crotch a few times and kissed him a little longer than normal. he wondered what you wanted, because he couldn’t handle teasing whatsoever.

he was taken back when you told him you wanted to have sex with him. he thought it was a joke, but he knew you were serious when you gave him that look. he didn’t waste another second dragging you into the bedroom and pouncing on you like he was a wild animal going for his prey. 

hanma took care of you. he made sure every inch of your body was kissed by his lips. he wanted you to know how stunning you were while you were naked. he swore god had favorites in that moment. it took everything inside of him to not completely ravage your cunt. when he slipped his fingers into you, he was shocked at how easy it was. you were practically soaking wet. his fingers were also quite lengthy. he curled and twisted his digits to find that button inside of you that would make you crumble in front of him.

you were shocked at how quick hanma had made you cum. before you knew it, he was hovering above you with his cock tip teasing your slit. you couldn’t wait any longer and practically begged him to enter you. he let out that usual chuckle and then pushed his cock into you, making your head fall backwards from how great it felt.

he made you feel like you were on the moon with how great he filled you. hanma could hardly believe you were taking him that well. you felt so full with him fully bottomed out in you. it took a little while for you to completely adjust to the size, but once that pain faded into pleasure, you had become a mess underneath your lover. he made your mind become cluttered and you couldn’t even think straight with how great the pleasure was.

“hanma.. oh, fuck! yes!” your fingers gripped the sheets underneath your body. 

he smirked at your voice crying out for him. he could hardly hold back against you. he quickened his speed a little, but made sure to not overwhelm you completely. you were delicate to him and he only wanted you to feel safe with him. “god, babydoll, it’s like you were made for me..” he used the hand with sin to toy with your puffy clit. “‘gonna make sure you cum all over my cock..”

you couldn’t hold back anymore and completely let go on him. your pussy squeezed his cock tightly and covered it in slick arousal. hanma pushed a load into your womb, grunting as he reached his high. it was so intense he thought he might have cum twice from you. 

he took your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours and pressing a few kisses onto your neck. “i’m so proud of you, doll.. you did so well..” he whispered, lovingly.

© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

[inlovewithpandora]

ꕥ — Found Someone Better / The Foundation

Artists — Tonowari x fem!avatar!reader

Genre — Chapter Three

Lyrics — For the past couple of weeks you’ve been on the island Tonowari has been your karyu, showing you the ways of the Metkayina. With each lesson there’s a growing tension between you, causing you to feel bold enough to make a move.

Music Advisory — Pre-Atwow, slight timeskip (a few weeks), teacher/student dynamic (in the beginning), mentions/implied widow!tonowari, small scene of domestic violence (flashback w/ Neytiri), crying, slight hurt w/ comfort, kissing, awkward tension, love confession, new side character;

・Some of the topics above can be considered triggering to some. If you don’t agree with any of the content above or it makes you uncomfortable please dni! You’re responsible for your own consumption!

Duration — 7.1k words

Index — Kelku - Home・Karyu - Teacher・ Tewng - Loincloth

Words From Artist — After a long wait chapter three is finally here! Thank you to everyone who has commented, liked, and reblogged chapters one and two, I appreciate all the love and support! This chapter took a long time to write because I wanted to make sure it was at its best once it was posted. This chapter is an important part of their story which is why it’s longer than my other chapters, I would highly encourage reading the entire chapter.

・Also, I’m beginning to write future chapters and special addition chapters that will take place between volume 1 and volume 2 of the series and I want to incorporate any ideas you all may want to see so if you have any ideas feel free to send them to my inbox and I’ll work them into future chapters any way I can!

・Lastly, comment below how you feel about this longer chapter. Some of my future chapters might be a little lengthy (around 6-11k) and I want to know if you guys enjoy the chapters longer or if I should keep the chapters short (around 3-5k).

I hope y’all enjoy and always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading y’all reactions!

Current Platforms — Chapter One ・Chapter Two・ Series M.list ・Series Taglist・Main M.list

“You must breathe from here,” Tonowari places one hand on his stomach, puffing out his chest as he inhales and straightens out his back, showing you where you must focus your energy. “Let your mind go clear and your heart rest.” You’ve been with Tonowari for the past few hours, learning about all the different aspects about becoming Metkayina from fishing to swimming. You were anxious in the beginning because you were worried that your fondness for Tonowari would be shown through your actions but so far it’s been going well, you’ve been able to keep your emotions under control.

You’ve been trying your best to replicate the breathing technique he’s displaying but for some reason you just can’t get it right, you keep breathing from your lungs instead of your diaphragm and it’s frustrating because you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him. When Tonowari notices your struggle he decides to help you, like any good karyu would. “From here, y/n.” His low tone vibrates through the air while pressing his large, callous hand on your abdomen, making a shiver run down your spine. You weren’t expecting him to touch your stomach and you most certainly didn’t expect his hand to be inches away from the waistband of your tewng. When you think things can’t get anymore nerve wracking, you feel his other hand make contact with your chest, mindlessly resting his hand right above your cleavage. “Your heartbeat is fast, try to focus.”

“Sorry.” You mutter out while looking down at the sand beneath you to avoid his gaze as a purple hue spreads across your cheeks from embarrassment. How can you possibly focus on breathing when you have this beautiful man hunched over your frame and looking down at you with a powerful gaze? As Tonowari instructs you to breathe in and out, inhale deeply and exhale slowly, your eyes wander his figure, watching the rise and fall of his broad chest that was partially covered with intricate tattoos. “Am I doing better now?” You ask timidly, hoping you’re doing the right thing and not making the same mistakes you were earlier.

“Much better, I think it’s time we move on to your next lesson.”

—

You and Tonowari have moved to the shallow end of the water so he can teach you how to ride the Marine Na’vi’s mode of transportation. The Olo’eyktan begins to whoop and click his tongue, drawing the attention of one of the many animals in the surrounding area. “This is an ilu, you must ride this in order to go to different places within the reef.” As Tonowari explains what to do, you mount the ilu, making sure you feel comfortable before reaching behind your back and grabbing your kuru. “Make the bond gently.” He instructs while holding the ilu’s kuru at an angle. You lean your hand forward, allowing your tendrils to connect with the ilu, causing a soft crackle sound to fill the air as tsaheylu forms. When the bond is successful the ilu begins to squirm underneath you as their pupils grow wide from your emotions intertwining with theirs.

“Feel her breath, feel her strength.” You take a deep breath while closing your eyes, allowing your mind to become one with the sea creature. “Hold here.” He places his hand on the handle of the ilu’s saddle and you copy his actions, wrapping your hand around the brown leather material. “Your posture is incorrect, it must be strong when you dive.” Tonowari was going to talk you through getting into the correct position but since his hands were free with nothing to do —and he wanted another excuse to feel your skin— he decides to put you in the correct placement.

His right hand comes across your lower back while his left hand grips your thigh before scooting you up on the seat of the saddle. “Now remember, when you dive back in, good position. Very important.” He wanted to emphasize his words because he doesn’t want you to fall off and hurt yourself. You nod your head in response, taking in his words before you command the ilu to dive into water. The feeling of riding an ilu was much different than anything you’ve experienced, feeling its body move up and down to generate momentum and propels through the water is something you’ll definitely have to get accustomed to. After riding for a few minutes you start getting the hang of it, when you feel confident in your stance you click your tongue, causing the ilu to leap out the water and dive back in.

As Tonowari watches from the shallow end, he nods happily, proud that you got the hang of it so quickly. He wasn’t expecting you to figure out how to properly ride so soon in your lesson since you weren’t used to the reef and doing these types of activities in the water but you’ve proved him wrong. After a while of riding Tonowari motions to get you to come back in since it’s almost time for your son and his children to come home from school. You come back to the shore, gently breaking the bond with your ilu and bringing your leg from over the animal’s body and walk back towards land.

Since Tonowari ends your lesson for the day, both of you spend the next hour or so walking around the village exchanging stories about each other’s clan, telling each other numerous amounts of information. The two of you were soaking up everything the other was saying, wanting to learn more about each other’s culture. You begin to enlighten him on everything you know about the Omatikaya, from the perspective of being a clan member and as a human who was also a scientist. The topic changes from the different flora and fauna to how the clan gathers together to add their unique designs to the mother loom that’s given a place of honor in the common area of Hometree.

While you’re getting consumed into your sweet memories of the forest you don’t even realize you were only a few feet away from your kelku. In your mind you see this as a perfect opportunity to show Tonowari some memorabilia of your time with the clan. You invite him into your marui and begin showing him blankets you weaved, jewelry you’ve crafted, and a few more pieces you think he would enjoy seeing. As Tonowari listens to your stories and sees the bright smile that adorns your face he begins to wonder why you left the forest. From his perspective it seems like you had a wonderful time when you lived among the Omatikaya so he’s curious as to what pushed you into fleeing. His desire to know what happened in the forest that led you here is starting to get the best of him, the question is echoing in his mind and he knows it won’t end until he properly asks.

“y/n, I must ask. If the forest was filled with such fond memories, why did you leave?” As the words are coming from the Olo’eyktan’s mouth he can feel a ping of nervousness strike his chest, having a feeling that the topic could be shaky territory by the way he watches your body grow tense at the mention of why you left. You weren’t expecting him to ask your reasoning behind your move at this moment so it caught you off guard. The forest was filled with amazing, beautiful memories you’ll forever cherish but there’s also been dark times that you wish you could forget.

“Neytiri, I feel like I’m the only adult in this house that cares for Lo’ak. You and Jake stay away from him as if he’s a disease but both of you practically smother the other kids with attention. It’s not fair to him, he deserves all his parents to show him love, not just me!” You were getting frustrated with your mates treatment toward Lo’ak, you know Jake would be a tough cookie to crack but during most situations Neytiri is the level headed one out of the pairing so you were hoping that if you expressed your concerns to her she would be able to receive what you're saying instead of ignoring it.

“My parenting is the same with all the children, I do not favor one more than the other.” You can see her tail beginning to wip behind her, her ears flattening against her skull, and her face expressions quickly changing. All of those elements put together could only mean one thing, she’s angry. You hate when she gets upset, unlike Jake she reacts before she thinks of the consequences and when she lashes out she doesn’t care if you get hurt in the process. “What are you trying to imply, y/n? That I am a bad mother, that I cannot provide motherly love for them?!” The hiss that follows her question is sharp and quick, her tone is slightly calm but you can still hear the anger that’s trembling behind it which makes you a little more worried but you have to stand your ground, she needs to know what she does affects your son.

“I’m not saying you’re a bad mother but…” You had to stop yourself for a second because you feel like you’re about to tell a lie. If she’s treating Lo’ak differently than the others than she is a bad mother no matter which way you try to spin the matter. Maybe Neytiri will finally get it if you tell her to her face and not sugarcoat things like you usually do to spare her feelings. “Actually, I take that back. If a mother plays favorites among her children that makes her a bad mother because she isn’t treating them equally so yes, you are a bad mother!”

This is what set Neytiri off, she’s so pissed that she couldn’t even control her body and what she did in response to your remark. The Na’vi woman opens her palm and sends a harsh slap across your face, it was so quick that you didn’t see it coming but once it makes contact the impact is so strong it forcibly makes you turn your head in the direction of the hit, bringing ample amounts of pain to your cheek, causing a tint of purple to rise to the surface. You stand there in a state of shock, tears clouding your vision as you look at Neytiri’s who’s yelling at the top of her lungs. “How dare you say that to me?! I am a good mother!”

“You’re not Neytiri, stop lying to yourself and to me! When you’re out with Neteyam, Kiri, and Tuk, taking them for little adventures around the forest, you purposefully leave him home with Jake! What type of good mother does that?! And you only have the balls to do it when I’m not home because you know I wouldn’t let that slide!” You shout at her before moving your hand over your cheek, feeling some pain from the aftermath of the slap. “And you want to know something else?” You move closer to her, closing the gap between both of you. “A good mother would never hit the mother of their child and a good mate would never lay a hand on their wife!” The more you yell at Neytiri with a tone laced with anger, the more you comprehend that she hit you, your wife, the woman who’s supposed to love and keep you safe decides to inflict pain on you. “How could you hit me, Neytiri?! I’m your wife, you’re supposed to protect me not harm me!”

You haven’t thought about that day in a long time. You pushed it deep down in your memory bank, trying to forget the first time your ex-wife put her hands on you but when Tonowari asked you about your reason behind leaving the forest it brought the argument to the front of your mind. That memory along with others are painful, they cause you so much heartache that you wish they could be erased so your brain doesn’t have the chance to remember the hurt you felt during those moments. As you begin to come back to reality you feel something drip onto your arm, making you realize that your eyes have produced tears and they’ve been streaming down your face this whole time.

Tonowari can see the loss of light in your eyes, the tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and the way your body shivers at the mention of your past life in the forest. He didn’t mean to bring up any bad feelings or memories, he didn’t mean to make tears escape your pretty golden eyes, he was only curious about what took place that made you come to the reefs and now it’s clear to him that it wasn’t something pleasant. “I apologize for bringing up the topic, I didn't mean to make you upset or—”

“It’s okay, Tonowari. I know that you didn’t mean any harm.” You cut him off from his apology, not needing to hear anymore. You know that he’s curious and wants answers, you feel as if you owe him that because he accepted you and your little ‘itan with open arms but you're just not ready to reveal that part of your life story.

“You can tell me whenever you feel comfortable, no rush.” Tonowari places his hand on your bicep, squeezing it gently as a form of reassurance and to let you know that he’s here for you. He can see that you have a story to tell and he’ll be ready to listen whenever you’re ready to share.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” You give him a small smile, allowing him to see a little peek of your canines before you place your hand over his. As you look the Metkayina man in the eyes your heart rate starts to rise at a fast pace and you can feel your stomach tying in knots. In this moment you feel like a teenager again, all the emotions that come with liking someone hitting you all at once. Tonowari’s a sweet man, he’s slowly seeping his way into your heart and honestly you're not opposed to it.

You’ve known him for weeks now and you love everything about him, how great he is with his children, his kind and gentle nature, how he’s an authority figure within the clan but doesn’t let the power get to his head, you’re not only physically attracted to him but also to his personality. With both of your hands touching, feeling the warmth radiating from the other's skin, it's like sparks of electricity are burning through your skin. His touch makes you want to melt and you haven’t felt this way in years, that jittery feeling that sits and stirs in the pit of your stomach when looking at someone almost feels foreign to you but it’s nice, you’re glad that you can still feel all these emotions about someone after Jake and Neytiri, maybe it’s possible that you have another shot at being in love.

Seeing that your tears are still dampening your cheeks makes Tonowari's heart clench with pain knowing that he can’t do anything to dissolve the sadness that’s overshadowing you, especially since he’s the one who caused said tears by questioning your past. He doesn’t like seeing your beautiful face stained with tears so he resolves the issue by using his unoccupied hand to wipe them away. It comes as a surprise to you, before you can process what’s coming you feel his hand caress your face, his thumb gently gliding against your cheek and underneath your eye, wiping away the tears on one side of your face before moving on to the next.

His soft touch sends a shiver throughout your body, his callous hand feels so warm against your face and his eyes glisten with a sense of care and kindness. Your body is feeling things that your brain is barely able to comprehend, it’s wanting to act on emotions regardless of what your mind is telling you. Your eyes flicker between his eyes and lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone else’s lips against yours, it would be nice to feel some sparks again, to get that electrified feeling in your veins when you kiss someone. ‘Do it. Kiss him.’ The thought echoes through your mind while trying to decipher if it’s a good idea. Before you psych yourself out and say no you just mumble “screw it.”, place one of your hands on one side of his face, and kiss him.

His lips feel so good against yours, that spark you were hoping to feel is there, you can feel it surging through your veins and causing your heart to thump against your ribcage. The kiss creates a warmth spread through your body, it makes you feel good about making the split decision to kiss Tonowari until you begin to have second thoughts about it. You start to realize that you don’t feel Tonowari’s hand touching you in a loving manner, his body seems slightly tense, and his lips aren’t making an effort to reciprocate the kiss as you would like. In your mind all those things put together must mean that he doesn’t want to kiss you and that he definitely doesn’t see you in a romantic way like you hoped he did, causing all the tingling emotions you felt earlier to quickly seize and your body to run cold with embarrassment.

You quickly pull from Tonowari and start spewing out an apology, hoping it’ll make the moment less awkward even though you doubt that’ll happen. “Tonowari I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m such an idiot-” You spring to your feet and nervously run your hands through your braids, something you tend to do when you're in uncomfortable situations.

“It’s alright, y/n-”

“No, Tonowari it’s not. It was stupid of me to-”

“Mama!” Lo’ak runs inside the marui with speed and bursting to the seams with energy, wanting to ask you something. When you hear his little voice you mentally thank Ewya for the intervention so you don’t have to deal with the discomfort between you and Tonowari right now.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” You reply to his call while turning to face the entryway of the room you're in and giving your son your undivided attention.

“Can I go play with Rotxo for a little while?” Since being here Lo’ak has made a few friends, including Rotxo who was nice to him when he first started attending school. The two boys usually always play together while at school but today they went to play by the beach and roam the island a little and they know they need parental supervision for that which is why he’s asking you for permission.

With Lo’ak wanting to hang out with his friend this gives you the perfect opportunity to get out of this embarrassing situation with Tonowari and will allow you to clear your head a little and figure out what to do going forward. “Yeah, you can play with him. I’ll change into something different and then we can leave. Okay?” Lo’ak nods his head and goes to another area of the marui and starts gathering a few of his favorite toys and places them in a woven bag so he can show Rotxo later.

With Lo’ak now gone it just leaves you and Tonowari again and before he has the chance to rehash the previous conversation you decide to speak up. “It would be best if you leave now.” Your eyes avoid meeting his gaze and you can barely get out the words before feeling a wave of nausea thinking about how you physically expressed your feelings for a man that doesn’t feel the same way.

Tonowari doesn’t show any resistance and respects your wishes, not wanting to make you feel worse at this current moment and decides to speak with you later when you both can talk in private. He gives you a slight nod, acknowledging your words and showing that he hears you before leaving like you asked. When you watch the entryway flap close behind him as he walks outside you let out a frustrated sigh and run your hand down your face, wondering how you could possibly be able to see and talk to Tonowari again since now he clearly knows you have romantic feelings for him.

You want to figure this out as soon as possible so you can calm your nerves but right now you have to put that on pause and go into mother mode for Lo’ak and meet his new friend and his mother. You take a deep breath and rest your mind, shifting your attention to getting ready to go into the village and mingle with your new clan members. Once you change into a new matching set and drink a few sips of water you're ready to take Lo’ak to his playdate and try to forget about your crash and burn moment with the Olo’eyktan.

—

It’s sunny around this time of day, the ocean water is slightly warm and the aquatic life is very active, fish swimming calmly in the water, energetic Ilu leaping out the water every so often, and sea otters sunbathing and basking in the sun's light. When you and Lo’ak make it to the heart of the village you can see Rotxo who’s standing next to an older woman who you assume to be his mom and when him and Lo’ak make eye contact they immediately run to each other before dashing off to play, making you chuckle at their eagerness. “Lo’ak, stay where I can see you!” You shout to him because you know if you don’t he’ll start roaming all over the island and you won’t know where he is.

“Padma, it’s nice to meet you.” The woman says as she walks over to you, starting up a conversation. You’ve seen her around the village a handful of times since you arrived but you both never crossed paths before so this is the first time you’ve talked with her.

She extends her hand out for you to shake and you comply, wrapping your hand around hers in a firm shake before introducing yourself and telling her your name. “It’s nice to meet you as well, it seems like our boys are getting along nicely.”

“Yes they are. I’m glad they found each other.” She says with a soft smile before she turns and picks up the woven basket next to her that is filled with multiple different fruits and places it on her hip so she can take it home with her. “Would you like to come to my mauri and help me prepare a snack for the boys?” Padma assumes that after all the playing the boys will be doing they’ll be hungry and want a little treat.

Padma watches how your facial expression changes and notices the look of concern that comes across your face when you focus your attention over to Lo’ak showing Rotxo his wooden ikran toys, knowing that you want to keep an eye on him at all times. “Don’t worry, my mauri faces where they are playing so you’ll be able to watch him and make sure he’s safe.” When you hear that it makes you feel better, which means you agree to going with Padma to her home.

It only takes a few minutes to make it to her mauri and when you walk inside Padma invites you to come sit down next to her in the common area and places the basket of fruit between the both of you. She takes her knife out of its sheath and begins to cut away the skin of fruit while you start cutting another fruit into cubes. “So, y/n, how are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s taken me a while to learn and adjust to all the new lifestyle aspects but other than that I’ve been enjoying my time here so far.” Being among the Metkayina has been different but it’s been fun, being here makes you feel more free to be yourself and you don’t feel the need to have your guard up or always have to be fearful about going home at the end of the day. Going home to a relaxed environment is something you’ve always wished for since your past relationship started to derail so to have that now makes your spirit feel at peace.

“That’s good to hear, have you made any friends yet?”

“No, I don’t think the women in the clan are too fond of me yet.” Most of the Matkayina women haven’t been very receptive to your presence amongst the clan yet. Whenever you're walking around the village, trying to complete your daily tasks until you find a permanent role in the clan, some of them will stare at you while others will exchange hushed words while you walk by. You know the reason they aren’t receptive to you is because you’re a dreamwalker and your DNA contains human genes and honestly you don’t feel any sort of way about it because you dealt with the same thing when you first joined the Omatikaya. It took a while for them to warm up to you and start befriending you so you know it’ll be the same here. The only difference is that at least with the Omatikaya you still had your scientist friends in the lab so you weren’t completely alone but here you don’t really have any form of friendships except for Tonowari which you’re grateful for, regardless of your current situation with him but you would like you to find some women to hangout with.

“Well, consider me your first friend here.” Padma says with a smile, wanting you to feel welcome and that you have someone in your corner and like you have a sense of community here so you don’t have to be alone. Hearing that makes a small smile curl onto your lips and you begin to feel like you’re officially starting to build a new life here.

For the next hour or so you and Padma talk about multiple topics, asking questions and sparking up conversations to help the both of you bond and get to know each other better. While you're listening to Padma talk about how she met her mate and their love story, you begin to think about what happened between you and Tonowari earlier. You know that you can’t ignore him and that you have to talk to him about it but you have no idea what you’re going to say the next time you see him. While Padma is talking she notices how your mind is elsewhere and that you've zoned out of the conversation. She can see that something is on your mind and she feels like it would be rude of her not to ask and see if there was any way she could help. “y/n, is everything okay? I can tell your mind somewhere else.”

Before answering her question you wonder if you should tell Padma what’s troubling you, that you're having trouble in the love department which is kind of surprising to you since you’ve only been living among the Metkayina for a few weeks. On one hand you don’t really want to say anything because you aren’t a fan of telling your business but on the other hand you don’t know what to do about Tonowari and it would be good to get some advice. “There is something bothering me.” A small sigh escapes your lips before placing your knife down and putting the fruit you’ve prepared in a wooden bowl. “I have feelings for someone here, me and him are getting along well but I think I messed things up with him.” You decided talking to her about what’s going on would be best but to protect your privacy and Tonowari’s, especially with him being Olo’eyktan, you decided to keep his name out of the conversation.

Padma wasn’t expecting you to need advice relationship wise, not because she didn’t see you finding love with someone on the island but because you haven’t been here long but nonetheless she’s willing to help you in whatever way she can. “What do you mean ‘you messed things up’? What happened? If you’re willing to share of course.” You begin to tell her what happened with Tonowari, specifically the part where sparks flickered between you two and that you kissed him out of the blue, not wanting to give away too many details but give the important parts that’ll help Padma understand what’s going on between you and Tonowari.

As you talk and explain Padma listens carefully, wanting to make sure she hears everything before giving her opinion on the matter. Once you finish talking she gathers her thoughts and starts giving her advice. “I think that you just need to talk it out with him, it could’ve been a reason why he didn’t kiss back. When you kissed him he could’ve just been taken by surprise because he didn’t expect it.”

“You’re right, that could be it. I’ll talk to him and hopefully it goes the way I want it to. Thank you Padma.”

“Of course, I hope your mind is at ease now.”

“It is, and I’m hoping that this conversation stays between us.” You imply that you want the conversation that just took place to go no further than these four walls and Padma respects your wishes and promises not to speak of it with anyone. While the conversation shifts to another topic you can hear little voices and footsteps approaching and within the next few seconds Lo’ak and Rotxo come running inside asking for a snack, good thing you and Padma were already ten steps ahead and have something prepared for their rumbling stomachs.

—

The sun has started to slowly fall behind the horizon, causing the clear blue sky’s to fade and turn into a beautiful mixture of red and orange. With all the playing, swimming, and even a little roughhousing the boys have officially tired themselves out. Both Lo’ak and Rotxo's eyes are starting to grow heavy, meaning it’s time for them to take a nap. While Lo’ak and Rotxo are saying their goodbyes, you and Padma make plans to hang out later in the week, she tells you that she knows a great place on the island to have a picnic and you definitely can’t wait to go since you haven’t fully explored the island yet.

Once you and Padma wrap up your conversation, you grab Lo’ak by the hand and start walking along the spongy pathways around the village and make your way to your mauri. “Lo’ak, how was your time with Rotxo? Did you have fun?”

“I had so much fun, Rotxo is the coolest! He showed me how to do all these tricks on his Ilu and while we were in the water he caught a fish with his bare hands!” Lo’ak tells you about everything he and Rotxo did his voice is laced with excitement while he tells you each and every detail, making you smile at the fact he enjoyed his time with his friend and that he’s adjusting well to living with the Metkayina, especially socially. “I’m glad you had fun, yawntutsyìp.”

You and Lo’ak continue talking as you walk home which makes the walk seem shorter than it usually is. Since Lo’ak has a newfound burst of energy he believes he doesn’t need a nap but you tell him otherwise. “Lo’ak, if you don’t take a nap you’ll be tired later at dinner and-” When you turn the corner and are a few steps away from the entryway of your home you can see Tonowari standing in front of your mauri, causing your words to become lodged in your throat at the sight of him.

You were planning on talking to him, at the earliest tomorrow so you could have a night to figure out what to say and gather your thoughts but since he showed up without you having any prior knowledge you have no idea what you’re gonna say to him so now you have to rack your brain on what to say. Lo’ak is still standing beside you and the conversation you need to have with Tonowari definitely isn’t for children’s ears so you send him inside. “Lo, go inside and clean up so you can take your nap.”

“But Mama, I don’t wanna take a-”

“Now, Lo’ak.” When your son hears the sternness in your voice and the seriousness written on your face he makes a beeline for the mauri and does as you told him to. Once he makes it inside and you see the flap close behind him, you turn your attention to Tonowari and try to mentally prepare for the pending conversation. The Olo’eyktan walks closer to you before you can do it yourself, making your words begin to scramble in your brain and your mouth to start moving at a mile a minute before you can stop yourself. “Again, I just want to say I’m so sorry for kissing you out of the blue like I did. I shouldn’t have just assumed you have feelings for me, it was impulsive and-”

Before you can finish your rant, telling him how sorry you are for making things awkward between you both, Tonowari closes the gap between the two of you while his eyes lock intensively with yours, making your heart race. Suddenly, he leans in and presses his lips firmly against yours, causing your eyes to slightly widen in shock and your body to freeze while your mind is racing as you attempt to process what’s happening. The warmth that’s radiating from him overwhelms your senses, making you feel like you're on a sugar high. After a few seconds the initial shock fades you begin to relax and kiss him back, allowing your feelings to take over.

You lean into Tonowari, feeling his strength as he pulls you closer to him, one hand cradling your cheek while the other finds its way wrapped around your waist, anchoring you in place. His large hands on different parts of your body makes you want to melt in this moment. His lips are soft and insistent, moving so tenderly across yours that it takes your breath away. As the kiss deepens you can almost taste the sea salt on his lips, it’s intoxicating yet captivating, making the world feel like it’s fading and turning into a blur.

After what feels like hours but in reality is minutes, Tonowari pulls back and both of you are left breathless, making a smile appear on both of your lips, his because he feels a wave of joy and yours because you're still a little surprised that he kissed you and how amazing a kiss it was. It’s been many years since you’ve had an intimate kiss like this before, feeling another warm body against yours was a feeling you definitely missed and are so glad to have that again with someone you genuinely like.

“y/n,” The Metkayina begins, his voice low and filled with sincerity, still lingering in the warmth of the moment you both shared, hoping he can gather the right words. “You don’t need to apologize, earlier I wanted to kiss you but I was taken aback, at that moment I didn't know what to do.” When you kissed Tonowari earlier he was in shock, he didn’t know how to react so he just froze up. Since Ronal died he hasn’t had feelings for anyone so when he met you everything felt so new and different to him, he didn’t expect to feel a connection with anyone again, especially with someone so different from him but he loved the way you made him feel.

“I didn’t mean to catch you off guard, I was just caught up in the moment.” You reply softly, beginning to feel a hint of shyness creep into your voice due to the way Tonowari’s eyes feel like they are peering directly into your soul.

“I’m glad you did, if you hadn’t I wouldn’t have known you felt the way I feel for you and we wouldn’t be here now.” He reassures you that everything that has happened was meant to be, the two of you were meant to share your first real kiss a few feet away from the ocean waves that are crashing against the sand, it was already written in the stars that the two of you would share such a special moment on the part of the island that’s secluded, meaning you don’t have to worry about prying eyes of the village, it would just be you and him, exploring your connection without fear.

“So, what does this mean for us?” With Eywa giving you a second chance at finding love you don’t want to beat around the bush or once he goes home begin thinking about what the next step is so you decide to be blunt and ask him upfront so you can have a clear understanding. “Where do we go from here?”

“I want to explore what we have and where this connection can lead but I want to take things slow. It’s been years since I was in a relationship and I don’t want to rush into anything, I want everything to happen the way Eywa intends.” For years Tonowari was hesitant on opening his heart again, afraid that he would grow to love a person just to lose someone else he’s grown to care for. Now that you’ve broken the walls he set around his heart he’s ready to find that special connection with someone and he’s willing to take the risk of being hurt because to him you’re worth it.

“I understand how you feel completely, I think it would be best to take our time and just further build our connection.” You’re glad you and Tonowari are on the same page with how you should go about your relationship because you want to take things slow with him, wanting to make sure you can fully trust him before letting him into your life completely.

“I like the sound of that.” Tonowari replies with a soft smile before he reaches for your hand and intertwines your hand with his. The warmth of his grip sends a comforting shiver through your body, grounding you in the moment. The gentle pressure of his hand against yours feels like an unspoken promise, a commitment to explore the connection blossoming between you.

Since Tonowari has a little free time and Lo’ak was inside sleeping you decide to take him down by the shore with you. With your hands already connected it’s easy to guide Tonowari a few feet away from your home and closer to the water before you find the perfect place to settle. Both of you sit down in the warm sand and you lean against Tonowari, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him, making you relax under his touch.

It feels nice to have a man by your side, a true man, not someone who disrespects and treats you like a burden. When you left the forest you didn’t know if you would find love again, you didn’t even know if you wanted to try and find someone again after what you endured but it seems like Eywa had her own plans in motion, allowing you and Tonowari to meet was definitely her way of telling you that it’s okay to open your heart again.

As you sit nestled against him, you realize how different this feels. Tonowari’s presence is calming and genuine, a total contrast to the chaos of your past. He listens intently when you speak, his gaze always filled with warmth and understanding. The way he holds you makes you feel valued, cherished even, which is a new feeling for you, but one that you love.

You take a moment to appreciate the beauty around you—the colors of the sunset painting the sky, the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the feel of sand beneath you. In this peaceful setting, you begin to let go of your reservations. The fear that once held you captive starts to dissolve and replaces itself with hope that maybe you can build something real with him. With every soft touch and shared glance, you sense the possibility of a future where love isn’t synonymous with pain.

As the minutes pass, the conversation flows effortlessly between you, filled with laughter and shared stories. Tonowari speaks of his childhood, his eyes lighting up as he recalls the joyous moments which allow you to see a different side of him while you share stories from your life in the forest, a few that are a little more personal to you than the ones you told him earlier today and will help him get to know you better than he did before. Each story that’s told deepens your bond, revealing layers of who you both are and allowing you to grow closer. Occasionally, Tonowari leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead or cheek, gestures that send shivers through your entire being. You can’t help but smile, feeling a sense of safety and belonging you thought you’d lost forever. The world around you fades, leaving just the two of you, wrapped in your own cloud of shared comfort and emerging trust.

As the last rays of sunlight dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow around you, you lean closer into Tonowari’s embrace, feeling a sense of peace settle in your heart. In this moment, surrounded by nature’s beauty and the man who makes your heart flutter, you realize that the walls you once built to protect yourself are beginning to crumble. With Tonowari, you sense a future filled with possibility—a future where love is not only attainable but also vibrant and real. With laughter still echoing between you and the gentle waves serenading your moment, you realize that you didn't just find a refuge from your past, but the promise of a beautiful journey ahead—one that you are eager to explore together.

Previous — Chapter Two・Next — Chapter Four

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[vqnrouged]

𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 : the canaries (mithrun, pattadol, fleki, lycion)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : the canaries with a reader that’s scared of thunder

𝐚/𝐧 : if you understand the reference in the title, i love you. but anyways, it’s a crime that there’s barely any content for the canaries so i wrote some hcs/short scenarios for some of them! sorry if this seems occ, it’s my first time writing for them. anyways, hope y’all enjoy <3

↳ 𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐔𝐍

• | with pre-ending mithrun, you will have to be the brave one and come to him instead. he won’t exactly reassure the grip you have on his arm, but he will still sit with you til the thunder stops.

• | however, with post-ending mithrun you will receive a comforting embrace. since he now has the desire to pursue his wants, he will try his best to calm you down… in his own way. he isn’t always the best at figuring out what exactly you’re feeling at times despite how observant he can be, so figuring out a way to comfort you proves to be difficult. so the only way he knows how to show you how much he cares is through physical touch…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

as your body began to cower deeper and deeper into the bed, mithrun finally made his move to calm you down. from his spot at his desk, he pushed the chair back under the table and strolled right over to the bed. he was careful with lifting the covers of the bed up as to not startle you, then slid quietly underneath the covers next to you.

apparently, you didn’t even notice him slipping under the covers until you felt his head lay softly on your stomach. your hands still kept their places over your eyes, but with the new feeling on your body, you let out a surprised gasp. “huh, mithrun?”

at this point, he began to close his eye at the comfort you radiated. the feeling wasn’t making him become sleepy, but rather relaxed because of your warmth. “you’re afraid, right?”

with a raised brow and eyes filled with confusion, you peaked between your fingers to look at mithrun. “yes?”

his eye remained closed as he became more comfortable in the bed, snuggling deeper into your side like a cat begging for more attention. “then let’s stay like this til the storm is over.”

a fond smile appeared on your face at the elf’s sweet actions, having not seen them that often. though, you were beginning to see more and more of this side of him. it was nice.

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐋

• | pattadol is fast to provide you comfort when you’re afraid, with her quick thinking she always comes up with multiple ideas that she could use to help you calm down. but this isn’t without her own panic as well, her worry that she won’t be able to help you makes her more scared than you are yourself. brewing a fresh pot of tea, covering your ears to drown the sound out, or even having you wrapped up in a blanket burrito are all lengths she would go to so you can feel safe. but despite all of these futile ideas, there’s one idea that she has left…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

pattadol’s attempts to calm your hurried breathing were proving to be fruitless, the fear you were feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon. she could only watch as you stood next to her, shaking uncontrollably while her mind couldn’t make a move to help you. just that thought alone was enough to make her afraid for you, then something finally came to mind.

with a wobbly smile, pattadol turned to look you directly in the eye. she placed a hand on your shoulder to grab your attention then began to slowly guide you to the couch. “here, [name], get comfortable while i grab a bigger blanket. i’ll be back in just a second. i promise.”

after a short while, pattadol came running back in the living room and to your side, blanket in hand. the feeling of worry began to dissipate once she sat down next to you, threw the blanket overtop the both of your bodies, and pulled you close. she made sure that your head was laid right on top of her chest while her other hand was placed on top of your ear, so this way instead of thunder, it was only her heart beat that you could hear.

what made it even better was that pattadol was cozy and warm, the feeling made you want to fall right into a nice nap. however, the elf holding you was still worried about your well-being. with her brows furrowed, she looked down at you and spoke softly. “are you feeling better? does this help?”

you could only mutter a small “yes” before your breathing became steady and your body became totally limp against pattadol.

with that, the elf smiled at her victory. she had gotten you to calm down and finally take a much needed rest. panic like that can’t be good for the body, she thought. but at least she had been able to help you. “good. the storm should subside soon, so until then please rest.”

↳ 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐊𝐈

• | fleki doesn’t usually pay much attention to the storms that occur so thunder and lightening don’t frighten her that much, but once she see’s how afraid you get she takes them a bit more seriously. she’s not the best at distracting you but she tries her best, she even offered you some of her “shrooms” one time because she ran out of ideas…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

you looked down at your girlfriends hands, a grimace of disgust overtaking your once fearful frown. reaching one hand out from your blanket cocoon, you gently pushed her hand away. “fleks, i don’t want drugs.”

fleki’s lips turned down into a pout. a part of her was frustrated with you for denying all of her ideas, but the other was plain frustrated with herself. she wish she had better ideas to actually help you rather than being a goof instead, so much for being a decent girlfriend.

with a sigh, she got up from her place on the floor and dramatically stretched her arms up above her head. as she was doing so, she turned to look at you. “well if you don’t want that… c’mon, sweets. let’s play a game to take your mind off things.”, then she walked over to your game shelf to look over your options.

her nonchalant attitude is what made you nervous, that was the way fleki always was but then again she was always unpredictable. so with a hesitant move, you began to crawl out of your blanket to see what exactly she was grabbing. “what kind of game, fleks?”

with a quick spin, she flashed you a deck of cards. “go fish!”, she exclaimed triumphantly.

you raised a brow at her enthusiasm, your nervousness leaving you completely along with it. why was she so excited about go fish? you don’t exactly know. but regardless, you took your place at the table across from where your girlfriend would be sitting. along with you came your blanket for warmth, which you wrapped tightly around you as fleki sat across from you.

with a quick shuffle of the cards, fleki began dealing the cards to the both of you. the game started out slow, but the two of you quickly became competitive and shit talked each other for laughs as the game went on. you were beginning to be distracted from the storm, which was exactly what fleki was aiming for.

in the end, it was she who won the game as well. what you hadn’t known the entire game until she revealed it to you, was that she had hidden a card to ensure her victory. all’s fair in love and war, she said. and oh was this definitely war. “aw crud, you seriously had a five? hiding a card under you is cheating, y’know?”

she let out a loud laugh at your comment, smiling smugly at you. “hah! you’re beginning to sound like pattadol now!”

you couldn’t help but shutter out a laugh at the comparison to the canary, “hey!”

seeing now that you were truly having fun, fleki’s spirits were being lifted again. the victorious grin she bore turned into a softer one, glad that she had achieved something good for you. “let’s go again! we’ll see if you can win this time!”

↳ 𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

• | he notices pretty quickly that you’re scared of the booming noises outside due to the way your eyes widened with fear at the first rumble. he doesn’t want to leave you alone while your trembling like this, but he will leave you for a moment to make sure the curtains of your windows are closed so you can’t see the lightening either. once he returns, he’s making sure you stay close to him so you feel safer. just like pattadol, he will cover your ears to help drown out the noise as well. and if that idea doesn’t work, he’ll change into his beast form so you can pet him…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

“are you sure this is okay?”, you whispered. your boyfriend had taken his place between your legs, resting his head comfortably on your chest so you could easily reach his fluffy fur. his arms also had wrapped themselves around your waist, acting as a blanket. with the way his body was now, there was no way you were getting up. at least, not for awhile.

lycion didn’t have any complaints about that fact, he loves to cuddle you. though, he never did so with you in his beast form before. it never really crossed his mind before, but the sight of you afraid made him have to think outside of the box. now what he was worried about was making sure you remained calm. “‘course, why wouldn’t it be?”

you looked to the side. it wasn’t that this form that bothered you, no, he was beautiful. but the thought that he may have felt like he had to didn’t sit right with you. “i don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

he waved a hand at you, dismissing the thought. then he nuzzled his head deeper into your chest, signaling you that he wanted you to pet him. so with a gentle hand, you began running your fingers through his hair along with giving him a few head scratches. “please, pet me all you’d like. and maybe tell me about your day out with that half-elf girl, marcille, was it? i’d like to hear more about all the fun you had.”

so you began rambling on about your outing with marcille, not missing a single detail. how you had a run in with rin from kabru’s party, going to a new restaurant the both of you wanted to try, and all the shops you got to go to. hearing how your day went, he was almost jealous that he didn’t get to be there with you because of his duties.

as you finished your story, you began to focus on the man in your arms and how cute he was. his eyes were closed just at your touch, if he was a cat, he would definitely be purring. it was so domestic and sweet, your body was beginning to feel tired from the warmth surrounding you. “you’re pretty soft, lycion.”

he laughed a bit at your statement, “why thank you, love.”

then the room went silent, but not without the sounds of the storm still outside. lycion could hear that your heartbeat had slowed down, then he glanced up to get a look at your face. and lo and behold, you were fast asleep with your hand still resting on his head. his eyes widened at the sight, surprised that you fell asleep so quickly, “they fell right asleep, huh?”

but he relaxed against you as he was before, loving the affection he was getting. “gotta say, this ain’t bad.”

“sweet dreams, [name].”

@𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 - please do not translate or copy my works.

𝐚/𝐧 : if you’d like a pt. 2 with laio’s party, lemme know!

[toournextadventure]

our little secret pt.v

Summary: Letters to you.

Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: swearing, mention of possible suicide (slight mention, nothing happens), mental instability, mental spiraling, religious talk (Southern Christianity) Pairing: Lorraine Day x Reader (Masterlist) A/N: this is like a little filler, just having fun trying out something different. Don't worry, there's still a giant chapter left! Also? When Lorraine signs the letters to you, she puts a little heart over the i <3

June 15th

I thought you said you’d always be waiting. But I come home to hear from your momma that you’re on a vacation with Roy? Why didn’t you tell me before I left? I would have given you a proper goodbye.

It’s probably a good idea, though. Roy could definitely use the break and I’m sure you can too. I know the past few weeks have been… rough. I’m sorry. I didn't know it was going to happen. But we can talk more about things when you get back. For now, make sure you have some fun, okay?

Your momma said y’all went out West. If you could write me back and let me know where, maybe I can meet up with you. We can have a proper vacation for once. Do y’all have any real plans, or are you just traveling? I’m sure either one will do the job. You always did want to get out of town for a bit.

Our shoot went well. Max and Bobby-Lynne asked about you the whole time. It doesn't sit right with me when they're constantly checking up on you. Maybe I'm just jealous. It's probably nothing compared to how you feel. At least they mean well, I suppose. They send you their love. Maxine sent… a little more than love, but I’m not telling you about that.

By the time you get this letter, it shouldn’t be too long before you’re back home. I’ll be here waiting for you, okay? Don’t forget to send me some postcards. And if you find anything cute, don't forget to buy it for me! I'll pay you back, I promise.

I'll see you soon.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

June 29th

Having too much fun?

We all thought you'd both be home by now. The 4th is next week, you know. We never miss the 4th. Daddy said he would cook out this year. He's making your favourite and Beau and Huck got the good fireworks. We can take the truck out and watch the show, just you and me. RJ will be out so we can be free for a bit. That’ll be nice, right? A nice little break. So you better not miss it.

Speaking of, Beau isn’t too happy that you’re not home yet. He’s been doing a lot of pacing and mumbling a bunch of nonsense. I think he’s being a bit dramatic. He’s not happy that you left without letting him know. Said he could have told you a few places to go to be safe. I think he just misses you. We all do.

We haven’t been out to a shoot for a while. I’m glad. It hasn’t been the same since RJ proposed. Nothing has, really. Things just don’t feel the same. There’s guilt in everything I do now, I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t feel comfortable with anything, even daily chores. Did you ever feel that guilt? The one that sits deep in your belly?

On a brighter note, Jimmy and Liz are back in town. They seem to be doing good. And no, they’re not pregnant, thank God. It’s a modern miracle. They had hoped to see you before the summer is over. Of course they will though, it’s not even July yet, the summer is still young. Besides, I know no vacation is more fun than hanging out with us, right? Even Roy would agree, I know it.

Momma is calling me to dinner now, so I’ll wrap it up. I’ll see you on the 4th, okay?

Yours, Lorraine

—---

July 23rd

Hey darlin, I think it’s about time you came home. You’ve more than missed the 4th, and Lorraine ain’t too happy. It’s the first time you’ve missed a holiday, you know? It ain’t like you. I know this ain’t the happiest place for you right now, but your family is here. We’re all here.

Where’d you go anyhow? You and Roy are homebodies, y’all don’t know anybody out West. If you really wanted a vacation, you could’ve waited for us to get home. We would’ve taken you. I’m sure Lorraine would’ve been happy to go too. We could’ve had a double vacation, you know? Like we always talked about?

Huck and I won our competition the other day. Wish you had been there to cheer us on. We wiped the floor with everybody. Best team ropers in the South, just you wait. You’d best come home for the next one. I’d hate to get too popular for you to notice us, you know?

I’ll keep Lorraine calm and happy, but I really need you to get home, darlin. It’s a bit past time to be concerned. At the very least, send us a letter back. I can handle you being gone for so long if I know where you are. I know this isn’t a happy place, but we’re still worried about you. We can make it a better place again, I promise.

Just send me something back, okay? I’d appreciate it.

Love you, Beau

—---

August 12th

Hon, I really think you need to come home. Lorraine and Beau are losing their minds. No one has heard from you or Roy since you left, and your parents don’t seem worried at all. Your momma seems the slightest bit concerned, but your daddy isn’t. Everyone is just acting weird, so you need to come home.

Jim and Liz left for seminary again last week. They were mighty upset they didn’t get to see you before they left. It’s been about since Christmas since y’all were together, right? They miss you both. Y’all are family. Maybe try to write him while y’all are gone, I’ll write his address at the bottom in case you don’t remember.

If I have to listen to Beau and Lorraine ask where you are one more time, I’m going to lose my mind. You know neither one of them knows how to be patient or think logically. They have a single bad thought and run with it. I need you here to help me calm them down, because you’re fine, just taking a break from everything.

No one blames you for taking a break. After everything… it’s the least you deserve. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Lorraine asked the other night if this is her fault. I told her it wasn’t. We all know that girl loves you to the moon and back. And we all know you love her back. Things can be worked out, but you’ve got to come back home first, okay?

After all this, you had better be having the time of your life, darling. I’m going to assume as much since you’re not answering anybody. Hey, if you can’t write back, can you at least give us a number to try and call you at? Beau said he’d pay any long-distance charges, he just wants to make sure you’re okay.

He’s playing the part of a dutiful boyfriend, you know. Everyone thinks it’s romantic. I know he’s just worried about you, but it’s weird to hear everyone giving him their sympathies. Is this how you feel when everyone talks to Lorraine about RJ? Like you’re in second place in a race you hadn’t wanted to compete in? Because if so, then I think I understand you a bit. It’s… not a nice feeling.

Ah, I won’t get sentimental. We can talk more when you get home. I think I understand you a little better. That’s kinda sad, isn’t it? Took you leaving for me to get a better grip on your feelings? Well, just come home soon so we can talk. As I’ve made clear, Beau and Lorraine miss you. But I miss you too, darling. Enjoy your trip, but please come home soon safe and sound.

With love, Huck

—---

October 9th

This ain’t funny anymore, you know. It ain’t funny, and you need to get home now. You can quit ignoring all our letters, we get it. You’re hurt, you’re upset, you wanna teach us a lesson or somethin. We get it, we understand, just come home.

Lorraine is losing her gotdamn mind, and quite frankly I am too. No one’s heard a peep from you or Roy. You didn’t even like the West, you had always said it was too different. Never liked how they did their food either. So why would you even go out that way anyway?

You’re probably out drinking those fancy beers they try to peddle up there. They’re not as good as ours and you know it. Or you’re out doing those stupid hikes that you never cared for, getting more blisters on your heels because you don’t even like walks. There’s nothing good out there and you need to come back.

You should’ve left us a note before you left. That ain’t like you, you know. You always let us know where you’re going. You couldn’t even go to church camp back in the day without leaving a personalised letter for each of us. But now you just up and leave in the middle of the night? No warning? That ain’t right and you know it.

People keep asking me where you are and I don’t have any more answers. I can only say “she’s on vacation” so many times before people realise it’s a lie. And it is, isn’t it? It’s a lie. You’re not on some damn vacation. If you ran off, just let me know. I’ll leave you alone as long as I know you’re safe.

Did we make you that miserable? Was being around us so awful that you had to leave? You could’ve told us first. We could’ve come up with a plan, something that wouldn’t hurt you so bad. I don’t know what we could’ve done, but we could’ve tried something. Anything at all.

I need you to answer my letters, honey. I really need you to let me know you’re safe.

Please be safe.

Love you, Beau

—---

December 17th

You missed Halloween. And Thanksgiving. Are you going to miss Christmas too? And New Year's Eve? Am I going to have to jump into the new year without you? Please let me know if I am, because I need to be prepared. I’ve spent holiday after holiday waiting for you to come back, for you to spend it with me again. I get my hopes up every single time just for you to not be there.

RJ keeps asking me what’s wrong, and I’m honest with him. I miss you. I miss you so badly my chest aches. But he doesn’t understand. He thinks I just miss my best friend. And I do, you’ve always been my best friend. But you’re so much more than that, and I can’t explain it to him until you get back because I need someone to hold on to while you’re gone. When are you coming back?

Are you waiting for an apology? Because I’ll give you one, I’ll give you as many as you want. I’m sorry about RJ. I’m sorry about the proposal and that I didn’t say no. I’m sorry about Mr. Dylan, he never should’ve touched you. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye properly. I’m sorry I avoided you after the proposal, I was just scared and didn’t know what to do.

I’ll say sorry for anything you want or need. Just please answer me. Please come home. I don’t want anything else for Christmas, I don’t want any other miracle, I just want you. Please come home.

I miss you.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

January 24th

We searched Roy’s room and found all his guns gone.

I’m done asking, darling, you need to call us or send us a letter. Now. Now, I don’t believe Roy would do anything to you, but your daddy is on a kick about how unstable he was. How he’s still sick from the devil and all that nonsense he would always preach. I know he wouldn’t touch a hair on your head, but I really need you to answer me.

Lorraine has been losing her patience with RJ. She yelled at him the other day just because he tried to hold her hand. Told him not to touch her. It was quite the show. And it’s going to get her in trouble. She needs you, you know? You’re not the only one who has to hide.

I’m sorry, but I went through your room. It’s been long enough, your momma practically gave me the go ahead. You didn’t take any of your letters from Lorraine. Did you mean to leave them? I hope you didn’t. I hope it was an accident, and you didn’t mean to leave us behind.

Beau has a letter for you too, but he’s not done with it. I don’t know how to help him. He’s got himself convinced he should’ve done more. I don’t know what he should have done. I don’t know what he could have done differently. Did you want him to propose? The three of us could’ve moved off somewhere, you know. We could’ve made it work if it’s what you wanted.

Everyone wants you home. They need you to come home. No one is complete without you, it’s like a big part of town is missing. Stevie from the bar finally pulled me aside and asked about you last weekend. I couldn’t even give him an answer. He said he’d pray for you. Said he’d keep a shot of the good stuff saved for when you get back.

Fuck it. I miss you too. You’re one of my very best friends, hon. You’re the one who’s been with me through everything. Hell, you introduced me to Beau. You’re the only one I can truly talk to about things. I need you home too, okay? You’re part of my home, so I need you to come back.

I need you to write back.

With love, Huck

—---

January 30th

You’re an absolute bastard. You know that? You’re a fuckin bastard. A vacation? Give me a fuckin break, you didn’t go on no gotdamn vacation. Where’d you go, huh? Somewhere we’d never find you? Did Roy convince you to leave? He probably did, the prick. Ain’t no way you would’ve left on your own, you’re not stupid.

What the hell were you thinkin? Just up and leavin like it ain’t nobody’s business. Well it’s my business. It’s my fucking business and you should’ve told me. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend. I don’t care that we’re pretendin, I still fuckin care about you and you just fuckin left? Did I mean that little to you?

We had a pretty great thing goin, you didn’t have to leave and ruin it. I don’t care that it was a lie, we were happy. I still had Huck, and you still had Lorraine, and we were happy. You didn’t have to pack your bags and leave like a thief in the night to, what, prove a point? Well I get it now, you weren’t as happy as I thought. You could’ve told me instead of doin all of this.

You’d better answer the gotdamn letter this time. I ain’t playin around anymore. You better answer the letter and get your ass home. And if Roy is readin this, then you better get her home. You’d better have kept your gotdamn hands and your guns away, and you better get her home. Now.

Beau

—---

February 15th

Hey, momma said I should try to send you something. She said you might answer me since I’m your baby brother. Are you and Roy okay? I don’t care what Pap says, I know y’all aren’t dumb, y’all didn’t go do something stupid. Roy probably just grabbed his guns to keep you safe. He’s not crazy.

Gramma came down with something nasty. The doctors think it’s pneumonia, but we’re still waiting for tests to come back. You both should probably get back just in case it’s bad. She misses you. She prays for you both twice a day. It’s really sweet, she just wants you both safe.

Seminary has been alright. Boring. You would’ve liked it more. Heck, you would’ve been better at it. No one knows the bible quite like you, I don’t care what Pap says. If any one of us should’ve gone off to study, it should’ve been you. Maybe once he sees how bad at it I am, he’ll change his mind. Think so? Probably not.

I’m waiting to propose to Liz until you both get back. I’ve got it all planned out and everything, even bought a ring. You’d like it, I think. But I can’t get married without my big siblings, right? Don’t worry, I can be patient. Y’all just get home safe and sound, you hear?

We love you. The both of you. We’ll see you soon.

Jimmy

—---

February 18th

Your Gramma passed away today. The funeral is in two weeks. That should be more than enough time for you to get back.

We’ll see you soon, love.

With love, Huck

—---

March 4th

Your Gramma’s funeral was today. You weren’t there. Why weren’t you there? You meant the world to her. She meant the world to you. You were the one she wanted to see, and you weren’t even there to see her buried.

She would have wanted you to be here.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

April 4th

A police report came in that they found two bodies in the river a few hours away from here. The bodies are decomposed too much to make identifications. I swear to god, hon, it better not be you. I know things were hard. For the both of you. But you didn’t have to go and do that.

It better not be you.

With love, Huck

—---

May 26th

Your daddy practically declared you both dead at church this morning. I guess after almost a year, he’s tired of worrying about it. He was never a patient man. I don’t think anyone really believed him, but who’s going to argue with their preacher? No one in this town, that’s for sure. Momma and daddy said you’re probably fine, just got sick of your daddy. No one would blame you if that were the case.

After church, Mr. Dylan told your daddy you and Roy had tried to kill him the night you left. If that were true, I don’t know why he didn’t bring it up when everyone was asking where you were. Don’t know why he saved it for now, but he did. Said you had both tried to kill him in the church.

He told your daddy you were a queer. Said you were a queer and you were going to infect the town with your sin. Huck hit him. Square on the jaw, knocked him out cold. I had thought it would be Beau. I hope he gave Mr. Dylan a concussion.

Did he really find out? Because I didn’t tell anybody, I swear. We always kept things a secret. At least I think we did. No one was ever around that didn’t already know. I know none of my crew told, they wouldn’t dare. I promise I didn’t tell anyone.

Momma asked me this evening if you really were queer. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what her reaction would be. She has always loved you, I didn’t want her to think any less of you because of what Mr. Dylan said. Daddy said we shouldn’t talk about it while you’re not here. Said it wasn’t right to talk behind your back. I don’t want them to hate you.

I won’t ever let them hate you.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

June 1st

I hate you. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hate you. I hate you, and I hate Roy, and I hate this fuckin town and everyone in it.

You were supposed to be here, gotdammit. You were supposed to be here, and we were all supposed to grow old together. What the fuck were you thinkin? Don’t you know how much you’ve hurt me? Don’t you understand? We might not have been in love, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love you. I loved you, and you went and broke my heart like this?

We were all supposed to be together, you know. No matter what, remember? I thought you were my Huckleberry. Well what are you now, huh? A coward. You’re a fuckin coward. What, times get hard so you leave? You just pack your shit and leave with your crazy fuckin brother?

What were we to you? Were we just a means to an end? Nothing more than a toy for you to play with? Cause you were never that to me. You were never anything less than my best friend, the only girl I ever loved. And you just fuckin left me. Was I not good enough for you?

If that’s how you feel, then good fuckin riddance. Stay away. We don’t want you back in this town anyway. Go stay with your new fuckin friends that won’t ever fuckin know you or care about you the way we do. No one is ever gonna understand you like we do.

Don’t even bother comin back.

Beau

—---

June 2nd

Please come back. I can’t do this without you.

Beau

—---

June 4th

I broke off the engagement today. It’s all just too much. I can’t even stand looking at him anymore. Every time he looks at me makes my skin crawl. I can’t even stand being in the same room with him anymore. Each time he touches me makes me feel like a piece of my soul dies.

Did I do this to you? Did I push you to leave? If I did, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. If I had been smarter, I would’ve suggested dating Huck instead. Then none of this ever would have happened. The four of us would’ve been together and no one would have ever known. We could’ve been happy.

Were you that unhappy? I never wanted you to hurt. All I ever wanted was you. Every time I had to fake a smile with RJ, or play nice, I always thought about you. I didn’t care about him, he was just a good distraction so no one would know about us. It was stupid. I never should’ve been afraid of how I felt.

I need you to come home. I need you to come home and tell me everything will be okay. Nothing feels the same without you. Foods don’t taste good, the sun isn’t as bright, nothing is fun. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed anymore. I would rather rot away than go another day without you.

I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything. I’ll take everything back, I’ll tell the whole world that I love you. I’ll hold your hand at the store. I’ll sit in your lap at the bar, and pull you to dance with me. I’ll do whatever you want, whenever you want. I just want you back. I need you back.

I love you. You’re my home. I need you here with me.

Please come back to me.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

July 1st

You took my heart with you, you know. No one else is ever going to have it. Please keep it safe.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

The bonfire was hot against Lorraine’s skin. Far too hot. Combined with the sweltering summer heat, it was painful. She didn’t care. Painful at least felt like something. It felt like something real, something she could focus on. Almost as real as the pile of letters in her hands, all stamped with the same thing on the front in red.

Return to sender.

“I’m sorry,” Max said softly. Her hand was surprisingly cool against Lorraine’s upper arm.

On the other side of the fire, off in the distance, she could hear Beau yelling. Drunken, incoherent rambling that no one could really understand. Huck had given up on trying to console him. After all, how could he console him about something that they couldn’t fix? What would be the point?

Another beer bottle shattered against the hard ground.

You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to be there waiting for Lorraine when she got back from filming. Then you were both going to talk, and you were going to come up with a plan to get out of the engagement, and then everyone was going to be happy. Maybe you could’ve gone out East for real, like the four of you had always talked about.

The letters in her hand felt like lead.

“Do you want us to give you a minute?” Bobby-Lynne asked. She squeezed Lorraine’s shoulders. It was comforting. Grounding.

“No,” Lorraine said softly. “It wouldn’t matter anyway.”

The letters were the last connection she had to you. Your daddy had quickly emptied out yours and Roy’s rooms, labeling you both as sinners and traitors. She had been lucky enough to grab your hat before he had thrown everything out. It sat comfortably on her head right at that moment.

Her last remnants of you.

No tears came as she held the letters over the fire. The flames licked the skin of her damaged fingers. She knew, logically, it should have hurt. It didn’t. Maybe, if she kept her hand there long enough, you would appear and pull her back. You would scold her for doing something dangerous, and then you could both go to bed.

That’s all she wanted. She just wanted to go to bed.

Her fingers pried themselves away from the letters, and she watched them fall onto the bonfire. One by one they caught a spark, turning a dark brown and curling around the edges before igniting. She could see the different handwriting on each page. Beau, Huck, Jimmy. Her own. All filling the pages with their thoughts, their concerns, their feelings. Things they would never dare tell each other.

She watched the fire until the very last letter burned. Your name faded away into the orange flame. You faded away into nothing, and when your name was no longer legible, Lorraine felt her own heart go with it. There was a space shaped exactly like you within her chest. No one would ever fill it, and she didn’t want them to.

You were her heart and soul. Her home.

She would never find anyone else for as long as she lived. And then, she would find you in death.

She would find you in every lifetime. No matter how long it took.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

omg hi if ur inbox is open can u give us a short blurb/your thoughts on or some kind of headcanon list for yan tim drake (romantic) bc ur interpretation of him is so yum🤤 i like how you rlly focus on more darker aspects of his character which i dont see a lot of ppl doing unfortunately bc the way he’s a complete FREAK LMFAO🫣🫣

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒…

!!! GN reader, mentally ill Tim, psychotic Tim, just Tim, he’s a problem, manic/depressive episodes, violent tendencies, suicidal tendencies, stalking, kidnapping, obsessive behaviors, gross ways to show affection, slight insinuation of pervy Tim, blood, mutilation, harm to reader mentioned, self-harm, severed body parts, drugging, gaslighting.

YAAAAYYYYYYYYY, TIM DRAKE TIME!!!! This is so long overdue. I’ve been meaning to write for him, but… it just hasn’t happened yet. I hope the ideas will start flowing after I get some of this off my chest. I’ve been harboring so many miscellaneous Tim thoughts for a while.

(Y’all. The CW on this just kept getting longer and longer. My bad.)

First thing’s first, Tim is a fucking mess. There’s no way to know for sure which version of him you’re gonna get each day. Maybe he’s going through a manic episode, coming up with batshit crazy schemes and going on about things that don’t make sense. Maybe he’ll then swing into a depressive fit, where he can’t even bring himself to get up from the floor. Maybe he wakes up completely fine after an hour long nap, regretting whatever initial brash decisions he made. Maybe he quickly turns violent at the sound of knocking at his door. Maybe he wants to claw his own arteries out after trying to maintain a normal social interaction.

The possibilities are endless! Which makes him extremely dangerous.

If you’ve caught the eye of Tim Drake… yikes. Good luck. There’s a chance you don’t even know who he is before he inevitably kidnaps you (completely on a whim, no less). Maybe you’re a total stranger he saw on the street once, captivating him and causing him to spiral into a twisted obsession. While I’ll defend Tim against the fandom allegations until my lungs give out, I’ll admit: they’re on to something when it comes to stalker Tim. Bro definitely has pictures of you covering every square inch of his walls. And, yes, it’s to the point where they overlap each other.

Kidnapping can take anywhere between 3 days and 3 years. During that time, he may try to weasel his way into your life in an attempt to win you over... though we all know how well that would go. As I’ve mentioned before, he may be attractive, but he’s such an off-putting person. Just being around him is enough to give you the creeps. And it doesn’t help he’s completely unaware of how weird some behaviors are. Tim... honey… you can’t shamelessly stare at people with a startling grin like that. I know you’re thinking about how much you want to lick your darling-to-be’s neck, but it’s weird.

Whether he attempts to interact with you or not, one thing’s for sure: he’s stealing your shit. Clothes, toothbrushes, half-eaten food, straws, whatever he can get his hands on. Don’t ask what he does with it. You don’t wanna know. Tim is a neeeaaaasty freak, to the point where even he thinks to himself, “what the fuck is wrong with me” after he calms down from a fit.

Oh, speaking of guilt, Tim is filled with that shit. He may swing from various stages of instability, but there are moments where he’s perfectly fine. And those are the moments where he has to grapple with the consequences of his own actions. Those can range from slightly scaring someone to causing irreversible damage. There have been many times where he snapped out of some episode with blood dribbling down hands and chunks of skin under his fingernails. Who did he hurt? Could be someone else, could be himself, could be you. Who knows!!

Let’s actually get into his suicidal tendencies a bit. His arms and legs are covered in scratches and cuts. Now, this could be explained by his vigilante life, but it gets harder to justify when you get to the bite marks at angles that only make sense if they were self-inflicted. Oh, and also the carvings of your name. He does that a lot. It’s like you’re with him everywhere he goes!! And kind of on the same note, he wants you to have him with you as well!! This could come in the form of strips of skin, vials of blood, toes, an eye, an ear, a spleen… just whatever he’s willing to cut off or out of himself in the moment.

His suicidal tendencies are also connected to those moments of guilt I mentioned before. After calming down and realizing what he’s done, he may harm himself as some sort of penance; especially if he’s done something to you. Depending on how far he spirals from his guilt, he may actually enact “an eye for an eye” (perhaps in the most literal sense) to help make up for what he’s done. Who knows, maybe he’ll replace missing pieces of you with his own. Will it work? No idea. Maybe a skin graph or two, but let’s hope you don’t have to find things out in the more extreme cases.

I think it’s important to keep in mind that Tim Drake is just generally fucked-up. “Normal” Tim doesn’t mean “completely well-adjusted” Tim, it just means he’s not acting on some manic or brash decision. Normal Tim would be fine with chaining or drugging you if he’s justified it to himself. As long as he’s not causing active physical harm to you, he probably won’t see anything wrong with whatever he’s doing in the long run. It’s for your own good, okay? Don’t worry, he’s gone through the possibilities and failsafes. Nothing bad will happen to you!

Unfortunately, manic Tim does not go through the possibilities and failsafes. Well, he kind of does, but the logic is far from realistic and runs in total circles. Whereas drugging you has a rational (fucked up, but still rational) reason behind it — to keep you immobile — filling your ear canal with cement takes some mental gymnastics. Manic Tim doesn’t want you to listen to anyone else. Solution? You can’t hear through concrete, right? At that point, you’re at the mercy of his mood swing RNG. Let’s hope he calms down enough to take a step back and really think about this. Hmm… filling someone’s ears with cement… probably not healthy. Wow. Silly Tim! He let himself get carried away, didn’t he? Whoops! There are more logical ways to keep you from listening to anyone else.

That’s where manipulation comes in. I mean, come on. Y’all know who his mentor is, right? Stable Tim is wicked good at manipulation. Huh? He’s acting weird? Well, he didn’t want to say anything, but he was actually thinking the same thing about you. Yeah, you’ve been kind of off lately… is there something wrong? You sure? You know he’s there for you, right? Okay, just making sure. A gaslighting king when he’s in the right headspace for it. Too bad his psychotic aura gives him away; he’d probably be really good at keeping up appearances if he just got medicated or something.

So… yeah. Just some Tim thoughts. What a charmer, amiright? I don’t think this one’s salvageable. No amount of therapy could ever fix whatever Tim’s got going on. Just throw the whole damn guy away. Start over. Your only hope of escaping him is the chance of someone on the outside realizing what’s up. Here’s to hoping Tim gets institutionalized before he does something really bad!!

[anzulvr]

Hello!! How are you today? If it's okay, I wanna drop a request: Karma with GN!reader that grew up being the non-attractive friend that believes that no one is actually gonna fall for them and thinks that every confession they get is a joke (they're attractive and cute but just not that attractive to make others fall for them)

I'm slowly crawling back to Karma fics rn because i keep rewatching the anime and I've been craving more HAHAHA I hope you have a great day!!!<33

Summary: In the ask (Karma akabane x Reader w insecurities who thinks anyone who likes them is joking)

comfort / gender not specified , <3 (also y’all r cute enough to make ppl fall for you don’t say that idc if idk you ik it😤)

When Karma first confessed his feelings for you, you laughed.

Not because it was funny but because you thought he was kidding, you liked him a lot, your laughter was just a way to disguise your disappointment over the fact he could joke about something like that.

It wasn’t a joke, he couldn’t believe you’d think that.

Once you started dating you realized how easy it was to make him jealous, whenever you wear a new outfit or even look cool sparring Karma looks around to make sure no one (..maehara) is looking at you with heart eyes. He thinks it’s impossible for someone to not like you.

— So when he sees some random guy inching closer to you smiling at who knows what you're saying, Karma starts to get ticked off.

He sneaks over behind you and lightly tugs your ear

“Ow- hey!”

“[Name] who’s your friend?” Karma asks in the most condescending manner possible.

“Oh this is Kenji, he just moved here and was asking me to show him around.”

“Ah really? You’re better off using the maps app.”

Kenji was quick to counter, “id rather go with someone whose familiar with the place, like [name] here.”

Karma turned to make eye contact with Kenji “If that’s the case you wouldn’t want to go with [name].”

“Why not?”

“[Name] would get you both lost, I’ll go with you.”

“No it’s alright, [Name] already agreed.”

You pulled karmas sleeve, “it’s okay, you’re not busy?”

“ ‘Course not, I’ve got time for you, let’s go.”

The whole walk Karma made sure to put a good distance between you and Kenji while keeping his arm on you.

He seemed annoyed every time Karma held you closer and gave him a side glance.

Karma on the other hand was purposely being touchier just to see the look on his face.

(after a few minutes Kenji realized Karma wasn’t leaving and made an excuse to leave.)

On the way back Karma mentions it to you

“I can’t believe he was trying to make a move on you, it’s good I got there before he got you alone.”

“He just needed help, I think I would know if that were the case!”

“He would’ve used a GPS. You thought I was joking when I told you I liked you, you’re too naive- don’t worry the way he scrunched his face whenever I got close to you made everything worth it!”

“I thought that because you joke about everything! And you’re also…”

“…Also what?”

“Nevermind, forget it.”

“No, say what’s on your mind.” Karma encouraged.

“Can’t you see you’re too good for me? Everyone knows it.”

“Are you kidding? [Name] you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Mm...” You looked away he could tell weren’t buying it, he pushed further

“[name], I don’t know why you’re with me.”

“You’re perfect, why wouldn’t I be with you?”

“That’s exactly what I think of you.”

note: updated finally gave him a nameeee. things r slow it’s been like two weeks but I’m making a masterlist.

[vicsnook]

Good Luck, Babe! Pt. 2 | Jake Seresin x Reader

word count: 2004

warnings: mentions of abortion& throwing up

notes: Hey y’all! As promised, here is part 2 for Good Luck, Babe! Hope y’all enjoy and part 3 is definitely coming soon. As always please don’t forget to like and reblog 🫶🏼.

I’m pregnant.

I slide down to the floor and sob. How could I have been so careless? How could I have let myself be in this situation? I can’t even take care of myself, let alone a baby. And the worst part is that Jake’s gone and I have no idea how to contact him.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I finally feel steady enough to stand. God I wish Mer was still around, she would have been the only one to not judge and help me figure things out. I never realized how alone I’ve been until now.

Calling my mom is definitely out of the picture, I was already freaking out enough for the both of us. I do know having this baby would be the most irresponsible thing I could do. I can hardly afford my apartment and to get groceries as it is. But before making that kind of decision, I need to talk to Jake.

Unfortunately for me, it’s only Monday and the Hard Deck is only open on the weekend. I check to see if I still have Mickey’s number but of course I deleted it. Just my luck, guess I’ll just have to wait till Friday to hopefully break the news.

-

I stare at the Hard Deck from the front seat of my car while getting major deja vu from the night everything changed. Peering around the parking lot, I don’t spot Jake’s truck or Mickey’s car. Finally, after what feels like hours but was really only 5 minutes, I open the car door and head inside. It’s now or never.

The bar looks exactly the same as last time minus Jake and Mickey. I check all over and they’re nowhere to be found. Worry starts to creep in that I’m going to have to do this all alone.

I take a seat at the very end of the bar and the bartender comes right over. “What’s it gonna be, honey?” she asks, looking at me pitifully with her big brown eyes. “Just water, please,” I respond, feeling like she can see right through me.

I nursed my drink for almost an hour before giving up. Heading out to the beach, I notice the sun starting to set and couples walking hand in hand by the shore. Tears well up in my eyes as reality starts to finally sink in but I swallow them back down, hoping he might still show.

Making my way to the car, I notice the parking lot is now even more packed than when I arrived. I peer around the rows looking for Jake’s truck but still no luck. Sighing, I get in my car and let the tears fall down.

Putting the car in reverse, I look in my rearview mirror and immediately put the car back in park once I catch a glimpse of him. Am I dreaming or re-living that night?

I hurry out of the car and sprint towards the door but once I make it inside, regret fills me up from head to toe. How can I do this? Maybe I should just leave. But I don’t even make it to the door when his hand catches mine and spins me around to face him.

Those green eyes that gave me the best night of my life and also left me with the worst result, now are staring into mine. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asks, while leading me to a table in the corner. “Is everything okay?” he says, turning my face up to look at him and I can see concern etch in his features when he notices the tear stains on my cheeks.

I sit down on the chair and brace myself to say what will surely change everything. “I’m pregnant.” His eyes widen and I regret the words that just came out of my mouth as he looks down, digesting what I just said. “Are you sure?” He finally manages to say and I nod, wishing the Earth would just swallow me whole.

“Let’s go somewhere else. This isn’t a good place to talk about this,” He blurts out, getting up. “There’s no need for that Jake. I just came to tell you and to say that I’m not keeping it.” He stares at me in disbelief and I know whatever he says next, I definitely won’t like.

“Are you crazy!? You’re not getting rid of our baby. Absolutely not. Now come on,” He hisses, grabbing onto my arm and practically dragging me out of the bar while I plead with him to let me go. Thankfully when we make it to the door, someone bumps into Jake.

“The lady asked you to let go of her arm Bagman,” says the man in the Hawaiian shirt who has the best mustache I’ve ever seen. His smug look tells me that this probably isn’t good.

“Mind your fucking business Rooster,” Jake says, his face turning red with anger as he tries to pull us around Rooster. But before we can make it out the door, once again Rooster has blocked our path.

“Let go of her right now, or I will have Penny ring the bell on your ass,” threatens Rooster to which Jake chuckles sarcastically. “I mean it, Hangman.”

“It’s okay, really,” I whisper from behind Jake. Beginning to get uncomfortable by the stares we were getting. All I want is to leave and pretend this never happened.

Jake looks back at me and gives me a grateful smile then turns back around. “You heard her, Rooster.”

Rooster looks over at me again and I nod reassuringly , trying to make him move which he thankfully does and I feel his eyes on my back until we’re outside the bar.

The weather is muggy and the smell of cigarettes makes me feel sick. Before I can even make it into the car, I pull my arm out of Jake’s grasp and bend over, throwing up on the bushes. His hand immediately goes around my waist to steady me while his other one holds onto my hair which normally would make me smile but I can’t focus while emptying the contents of my stomach.

After catching my breath and wiping my mouth with my shirt, I feel Jake’s hands pull back. All I wanted to do was turn around and cry on his chest but instead, I head to the car while he follows.

His hand closes my driver's side door as I try opening it and I turn around annoyed. “What Jake? You left. No note, nothing. I came here to tell you as a courtesy. Now please move, I don’t feel well and just want to go home.” I half yell, exasperated, he still looks angry but at the mention of my well being his anger dissipates and is immediately replaced with concern.

“Let me drive you home so I can explain please. I’ll Uber back here for my truck.” He pleads, and being that I still felt sick and a headache was starting, I consider it. But I think back to him leaving and decide against it. “I’m fine, Jake. Please let me go.”

Unfortunately, my words immediately betray me as I push him off to the side and turn around to throw up again in the grass.

“See, you’re not fine, I’m taking you home. End of discussion.” Jake states firmly as he leads me to the passenger seat and takes my keys.

Thankfully he remembered where I lived so the drive was silent. The only thing I knew for sure was that this was bound to be another long night and not the fun kind.

-

Once inside, he helped me over the couch and went to the kitchen, returning with a glass of water.

“How come your fridge is empty? He asks, looking at me curiously while taking a seat beside me. My cheeks flush in embarrassment as I answer. “Being a paralegal doesn't pay much, Jake. That’s why I can’t keep this baby, I can hardly afford myself as it is.”

He looks ashamed before quickly replying,“Honey, it wouldn't just be you who’s responsible for this baby. I can afford it and more. We’ll probably have to get married so that you can -”

“Married!? Have you lost your mind?” I shriek. What the hell was he thinking? A month ago he hit it and quit it and now he was proposing wedding bells. I think I’m going to be sick again. But he continues on like my reaction didn’t happen.

“Well yes, darlin’. I know we got some steps out of order but you’re having my child, of course, we’re getting married.” He says, like it’s common sense and I don’t if I want to kiss him or slap him.

“For fucks sake Jake, I hardly even know you. I can’t marry you nor can I have this baby.” I say, pulling my knees close to my chest while my head throbs in pain. God I wish I hadn’t let myself get so depressed when I realized what he did and thought of taking the morning after pill.

“Well we have 9 months to get to know each other and I think that’s plenty. People nowadays marry even sooner than that.”

His tone so matter of fact it made me want to strangle him. This couldn’t be happening, surely I’m just having a nightmare. Jake definitely isn't in my living room proposing we get married and be a family, right?

But after pinching my arm he was still there watching me. I needed time to think but with him there it’s like any rational thought flies out the window.

“Jake, I need some space. Please. I’ll think about what you said but right now all I want is to be alone.” He opens his mouth to object but I add, “You can come back tomorrow, I’ve just had enough today. I promise, we’ll talk some more then.”

After a moment of consideration, he nods in agreement and gets up, extending a hand out to me and I look at him confused. “Let me put my phone number on your phone, and promise me you’ll call me if you need anything.”

I nod, handing him my phone and looking down while swallowing the lump on my throat. He hands me my phone back and I set it down beside me. His eyes find mine and he gives me a small comforting smile and I feel my heart flutter a little but before I can let it fill itself with hope I’m standing up and leading Jake to the door.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he says, looking up from his phone after ordering his uber. “Goodnight Jake.”

I close the door and lean against it, letting a few tears escape before quickly wiping them away and heading to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I sit on the floor of the shower and let myself cry it all out again, the only difference is that this time I cry because of Jake’s proposal rather than his absence.

My fingers are very pruned when I finally get out of the shower. I stare at myself in the mirror, turning sideways to see if a bump has begun to form but I’m met with none since it’s probably too early for that.

Finally I decide to go to bed, stopping by the living room to grab my phone. As I unlock it, I stop dead in my tracks, noticing that Jake’s contact name is Baby Daddy and that he texted me “I’m sticking around. I promise.”

My legs feel wobbly as I read it over and over again but thankfully I’m pulled away from obsessing over it by the doorbell. I look out the window and see no one but against my better judgment I open the door and look down to be met by a grocery delivery and some flowers.

Maybe things will be okay after all.

click here for part 3.

taglist: @rosiahills22, @harperdoodle, @weirdothatwritess, @mrsevans90

[faerlygraceful]

So I rewatched all of the “Begins” episodes last night and it only managed to cement my head canons about Tommy, which began forming after we saw him again.

Of course I don’t know if they thought this was going to be where the character ended up when they filled the firehouse back in season 2. I don’t know what Lou thought about his character. I don’t know what the intentions were. What I am doing (since this is my head canon), is taking new knowledge and using it to recategorize previous interactions. I’m queer, it’s what we all do.

So I’m going to share my analysis with all of y’all cause this is the internet, and I’m allowed.

Spoilers for… well everything.

Tommy is one of the three characters who shows up in all three Begins episodes, the other two being Athena and Sal DeLuca. His first appearance in the show is Hen Begins, but as we know Chimney Begins is chronologically first, so we’re starting there.

Chimney Begins

1) We first see Tommy when probie Howie walks in. He doesn’t seem to notice that Howie is a probie, asking who didn’t tip the takeout guy. Gerrard quickly takes the role of antagonist, and that’s when we move on.

2) At one point when they’re coming back from a call after Howie has been there a while, Tommy says, in a surprised tone, “You’re still here?” I think this is less of a, “You don’t belong here,” and more of a, “You’ve been here for weeks/months and haven’t been out once, I would have quit, why haven’t you?”

3) While man behind, Howie helps a guy who was having indigestion and a panic attack at the same time. When the rest get back, Howie tries to bond with them over the call, but is ignored. They are talking about takeout options and Gerrard asks Tommy, when his girlfriend is supposed to come in and cook. Tommy sounds extremely contained during this interaction, gives a a day, and when pressed he stammers and promises. The conversation fades off so we don’t hear what he promises, but he didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about his girlfriend coming in.

- Now this is where we really start getting into my hcs. Either Tommy is bi (which we’ll hopefully find out tomorrow) or he’s closeted. The tightness in his voice (which is all we have to go on because the camera is focused on the POV character), tells me that he’s extremely uncomfortable with the interaction. He’s been put on the spot, and he doesn’t like it. I think the girlfriend is either a) a friend he’s brought by the house once and everyone inferred or b) someone he manufactured in order to get out of team events ie, “Oh I can’t go out tonight, my girl is cooking.” He is uncomfortable with what his boss (a confirmed bigot) is asking for, and the man is pressuring him to produce his beard. If she was actually his girlfriend and Tommy is also bisexual, it could just be that’s he’s uncomfortable exposing her to the environment that the 118 is at that point.

4) Howie starts to try and broach the barriers between himself and the other firefighters, only to be rebuked. At one point he corners Tommy in the locker room, and starts naming off all these topics, stating, “Tell me what your thing is and I’ll make it mine.” Talking about his formidable people skills and asking if that means Tommy just didn’t like him that much.

Tommy tells him, “If I thought about you at all, I probably wouldn’t.” Which tells me that Tommy has already built his mask, his persona, and since the others don’t try to look beyond the surface he’s able to maintain it, but he can’t afford to let anyone in. He can’t think about the new guy on the squad, he’s too busy making sure Gerrard doesn’t find out about his closet. That would be just another person to have to hide from anyway.

This is when Howie gets pulled for the ambulance. Eli tells him that it’s not personal, because friends die and funerals are held. Which makes me also think that Howie stepped into the shoes of a firefighter who died. Maybe one who Tommy was particularly close to? Eli goes on to call Howie a puppy who doesn’t get a name until they know it’s gonna come through.

The next thing that happens is Kevin Lee’s death. Which is incredibly sad and is a big part of how Howie develops as a firefighter, but this meta is Tommy focused so moving on.

5) The garage collapse at the mall, and Tommy almost dies. More to it, Howie saved him. So Tommy decides to share some things with Howie. “Love Actually, monster trucks, and craft beer”. Maybe not a coming out story, but he did declare that one of his favorite movies is a rom com. It’s a start.

Hen Begins

1) Tommy is first seen when Hen walks into the house. He’s comes up to the railing after Gerrard calls for everyone and is positioned between the captain and DeLuca. Now it’s my personal opinion that DeLuca is an ass and that’s backed up by these episodes but even Hen defends him in Bobby Begins Again, and that started with this episode. But again, we’re not here to get into Sal DeLuca’s headspace, this is about Tommy. When Gerrard calls Hen an “diversity” hire, we see Tommy looking very uncomfortable, and Sal is the one to take up some of Captain’s dirty work for him (“For real?”). This is the episode where I truly see Tommy as “falling in line” with the captain. He’s opened up a little to Howie (no nickname yet), a little more inclined to joke, but still is holding these boundaries.

2) DeLuca talks about taking his girl to see some vampire movie and Tommy immediately knows it’s Twilight. DeLuca talks about how he likes Kristen Stewart (with Hen agreeing) before saying something about getting behind that, which makes Hen uncomfortable. (According to this, it would put it in 2008, which means she’s a paramedic for ten years prior to Buck joining which I hate. All those movies came out rather fast but could all be classified as “Twilight” so it was probably at least Eclipse in 2010 especially with the references made…. But then we start to go into how much I hate this timeline because nothing makes sense ever) Tommy talks about how he doesn’t understand the attraction to KS because she’s too… (Sal puts in hot here) broody, and Sal asks him if that means he’s Team Jacob (which is what makes me think it’s at least during Eclipse, I don’t see DeLuca being a Twi-Hard, and so his frame of reference would be movie based), and when Tommy acts confused (not sure if an act or not, he knew what Twilight was, but that doesn’t mean he knows about Team Edward vs Team Jacob), Chimney confirms that he’s implying that Tommy is gay. You. See. Him. Freeze. There is a few seconds where Tommy freezes in place like he’s processing before he makes a joke, blowing a kiss at Sal before laughing. Gerrard puts a stop to the conversation, and Hen takes a seat.

— Remember when Tommy has buried himself in the closet? What happened when someone rattles the door with a gay joke? One where it’s being implied that you are gay? When you’re bigot of a boss is sitting not five feet from you at the same table? You freeze to not immediately deny the accusation in a way that would make you look sus, and then you make a joke out of it. It hurts, so much.

———-Ah shit I’m going to timeline this———

From what we know, Tommy was in the army as a pilot. For Timeline purposes we’re going to assume that Eli leaving is the reason Hen went to the 118. During her med student arc it talks about how she was a paramedic for 10 years, so 2012 makes sense there. It doesn’t make sense with other thing’s because in Lonestar’s Hold the Line (2021 would make this make sense), Hen tells Owen that Denny is 10 and she and Karen and her were married for 8 years, (Same sex marriage has only been legal in CA since 2013). Bobby was their captain for a year in Worst Day Ever, they had a captain parade for two years (six captains) and before that they had a someone who was cleaning up after Gerrard. Also Hen and Karen were freshly back together when DADT was repealed. That makes Denny a baby on September 20th of 2011.

Enlistment periods are 8 years but that’s a mix of active and inactive duty. If Tommy signed up out of high school (18), was an active duty pilot for 6 years (24) and then moved to the reserves for the remaining two while he became a firefighter, it means he could have been a firefighter for two years longer than Hen or Chimney while being less than 10 years older than Buck.

Now none of this helps in placing where these episodes fall in the timeline, but I would say that Bobby’s first day falls about a year before the pilot, and Chimney Begins and Hen Begins butt right up together. Also I have no more information on Eli and how long he stayed after training Chim, and I probably never will because I cannot watch Boston.

More timeline BS. Hen and Karen had to have gotten together during the captain parade because Gerrard would not have let her on a call where she got hurt enough that Chim would make the call to Karen.

——————— Timeline bs over ——————

3) Tommy asks about how “New York bitchiness” could be a compliment after Howie mentioning that she has an East coast vibe, and Hen thanks him for the compliment. And then Howie makes it seem like Tommy’s calling her bitchy, but I don’t see it that way. What’s more likely is that’s the only vibe he knows from the east coast, so when Howie suggests she has it, he’s like, wait you think that’s a compliment? Howie treats it like Tommy’s calling Hen a bitch, but it honestly didn’t come off that way, more like Tommy trying to clarify that Howie wasn’t calling Hen a bitch by saying she has an “East Coast Vibe”. Anyway this conversation quickly devolves in Gerrard being a misogynist, and Tommy and DeLuca quickly scamper off.

4) Not Tommy related, but we do have someone with insight into being an openly gay firefighter now. Casey with the 115. He says that they knew he was gay from the moment he walked in, and it didn’t matter that he was the strongest guy in the firehouse. Here we have proof that it doesn’t matter your qualifications, if you’re perceived as gay, you’re automatically singled out. He said it was so hard that he was told to quit and find a new dream by his partner. Now, there is a red flag about your SO tellingly you to give up your dreams, but can you imagine how bad it would have been for the boyfriend to get to that point? The person you care about coming home every night defeated and downtrodden over something that’s supposed to be his dream? The ease in which Casey shed the boyfriend makes me think that they weren’t together long enough to earn those privileges, but the job also gets a red flag for being so bad that you’d advise your short term boyfriend to quit.

5) Hen’s speech. During this we don’t see him often, because he’s off to the side. The camera is more focused on Gerrard, DeLuca and Howie for the most part. But he does seem very closed off, when you do see him, his arms crossed, not standing defensively or challengingly like DeLuca, but like he’s trying to shrink. Actually it kind of reminds me of another queer firefighter that we all know.

6) We don’t get to see much more of the reactions because we go immediately into a call where a party limo crashed into a flower truck. Which we only know about because Hen went looking for it, saving the life of a little boy. Tommy tells her good job, that they would have discovered the secondary wreck eventually but that it would have been too late. She also has now earned Sal’s respect.

7) When they get back the Chief is there. Now remember, she gave her speech, they went out, they come back out and Gerrard is being removed. Nothing that happened on that call or involving her speech has anything to do with this. She thinks she’s being fired, that Gerrard called while heading to or back from the scene to have her removed, but that’s not the case. Her speech wasn’t actually necessary because everyone was already complaining about how Gerrard treated her. They even talk about someone who compared Gerrard and his behavior to hemorrhoids. Which I’m not saying could be from the army pilot who was probably deployed and had to undergo long-term constipation or diarrhea, but it could be.

Now all in all, there nothing really bad about Tommy’s behavior that we’ve seen. He doesn’t approach Hen, but we’ve seen from her interactions with Howie that she barely accepts his overtures of friendship in the beginning, and Tommy is much more closed off, remembering how he only opened up to Howie after he saved his life. He also doesn’t stand up for Hen to the captain’s face, but as an Army guy, he follows the chain of command. Doesn’t mean he won’t file one or two or three complaints through the proper channels. He just can’t afford to put himself in Gerrard’s crosshairs, can’t afford to undergo his scrutiny.

Bobby Begins Again

1) Hen has started a betting pool on the newest captain. Over under is 6 weeks, making me think that that’s the least amount of time a Captain stayed (about a month and a half and if they had 6 captains in 2 years that’s an average of 4 months). Tommy gives Nash a month and has to run to the ATM. DeLuca is obviously the main antagonizer, it sounds like he wanted the 118 and was denied (Also ABC, maybe bring him back ala Billy Tyson? Might be fun.).

2) Tommy has never worked on a farm, or dealt with toddlers. Cause he was floundering and falling all over himself when trying to catch Maurice the rooster. All in all these calls don’t show much. Tommy follows Bobby’s instructions, even though part of time he’s just parroting what Sal says, no arguments. Adds further credibility to the fact that he follows chain of command. It doesn’t matter that this guys only going to last a month, he’s my captain now.

3) During the Guillermo’s fire, Sal breaks rank to save the kid (which considering who that kid grows up to be, it sucks that he was successful). But when Bobby takes him to task for endangering them all, Sal doubles down. I thought I was paying attention during this scene, but it’s hard with the yelling. At least two people try to get him to cool it, one of them being Chimney who calls DeLuca “Fredo”.

4) They’re all at the bar, talking about Sal getting fired when Bobby shows up and the vibes change. Now sometime over the past twoish years Tommy is single, and it seems chronically at least to the house. Maybe because Gerrard is gone he doesn’t have to maintain a beard anymore, but with the endless captain parade and DeLuca being a tool, he doesn’t feel comfortable coming out? I think he’s also classified the 118 as unsafe, so maybe this lended a reason for his later transfer. But as he says, “Single is easier. Having the scars impresses women, getting ‘em freaks ‘em out.” Which gives heavy implications that like Buck in season one, Tommy isn’t dating but hooking up. If he’s gay, then his partners would have to be okay with the fact that he’s still closeted. And mention of women aside, it’s implied that a longer term relationship ended because he got hurt on the job. (This is why I don’t ascribe to the Tommy dated Abby theory. She implied that her relationship ended because of Patricia, and Tommy implies his last was due to injury. Which could be. He got hurt on the job and she couldn’t handle care giver burden for both of them? But that’s also turning Abby into Shannon Diaz pt 1 and while I dislike both women, they don’t need to be same character different font.) Here’s what I think. He got hurt on the job, and his long term boyfriend couldn’t even go to the hospital to check on him because he wasn’t out to his crew, causing them to break up.

Also for all you Buck/Tommy writers, Tommy canonically has a scar on his right side from a piece of shrapnel that he caught. He says it’s from a factory explosion. I don’t have the ability to get screen shots atm, but it’s pretty.

5) Tommy quotes Fight Club with Chim. So maybe another victim of the Han School of Movie References?

6) Bobby starts with family dinners. Tommy decides to transfer. The cake says, “The 217’s lose is our gain,” and they push his head into it.

The very next scene is Buck walking into the 118.

So all in all, we see Tommy as a deeply guarded character. He doesn’t open up easily, he follows orders, he has a soft side. I don’t really know how to conclude this because I sprinkled my impressions throughout, but I hope that this helps anyone who’s looking for Tommy characterization, and we’ll see tomorrow if any of this is right.

[outro-jo]

nct 127 and their black cat partner

pairing: nct members x (gn) reader

type: headcanon?

warnings: none really

request: yes?

notes: i got an interesting request and i wasn’t sure how to go about it until i saw this svt reaction and so i went more this route

how i personally define a black cat personality: dark energy/vibe usually accompanied by a dark aesthetic but doesn’t always have to. not super fond of affection or prefers affection on their own terms. sassy with good quips and comebacks. has an interest in “darker” topics such as horror, the occult, “dark” psychology, etc. chronically unbothered. FIERCELY protective once you gain their love/loyalty. occasionally unhinged and feral (gets the zoomies whether physical or mental/verbal). big scorpio energy tbh

UPDATE: T*eil has been removed

masterlist | info

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taeyong- god he’s in love with you. like simp doesn’t even begin to cover it. you eventually become his protector since he’s so sweet and pure, you must fight anyone that hurts him. the best thing in the world is when you’re in your head and to everyone else it just seems like your brooding or annoyed or something, but taeyong sees right through that. he just comes over, kisses your face and hands you a switch like, “let’s play some animal crossing” 🥰

johnny- he’s lowkey your golden retriever bf. he’s like bouncing around and has all this energy and you’re sitting there like 😐. he makes you do more things than you really wanna do bc he’s an adventurer and you’re an indoor cat fr. “fine i’ll go but i’m not gonna be happy about it.” “yes!!!” he’s just happy to have you around and eventually you do kinda like wherever it is he’s brought you to. he brings you out of your comfort zone and you ground him.

yuta- my god does he love you. you’re the only one that can keep up with him. he’s mean but it’s in a flirty way and you’re mean in a “jokey” way but he loves it sm. sarcasm is y’all’s love language fr. he would quite literally d!3 for you if necessary but a big ol’ uno reverse card on that one. you’re just as fiercely protective of him and god, does he love it. one time you nearly got into blows with a “fan” who was harassing him. the smirk on her face when she went running, PLEASE!

doyoung- you’re his angel… fallen angel but an angel nonetheless. he LOVES teasing you in a playful way just to have you stare at him like 😒. he’s also super affectionate with you which you’re mostly indifferent about but he’s amused by your lack of amusement. his favorite thing is the way you show love bc it’s v cat like. you find little things to gift him like his favorite snack you picked up while you were out or a crystal you think he needs or something he said in passing that he needs or wants. you’re also great a quality time. just sitting with him reading a book or playing your switch while he’s doing something for work or himself. you’re just his favorite person to be around.

jaehyun- he just has this permanent smirk on his face watching you. like you’re 1000% in full gremlin mode, eating peanut butter from the jar, messy hair, in a hoodie that hasn’t been washed in a while, but he’s just like obsessed with you. he LOVES how sassy you are with people and the comebacks you have are god-tier. he loves to spoil you bc you kinda sit there and just stare at the thing for a few mins trying to process why he would spend money on you but 1) you’re his whole world and 2) he likes your reactions. it’s funny and cute to him.

jungwoo- so this man is so baby girl it hurts. some days you don’t even know how or why you’re with him or why he likes you but you learn just not to question it. but you’ve gotten attached to him and anyone that hurts him 😈👹 must d!3 👹😈. you’re the only one that can “be mean” to him but he has a degradation k!nk so he loves it. he’s pretty respectful of your space but every once in a while he needs a cuddle.

mark- another beast boy and raven duo (see my skz one) but y’all are so chill with each other but mark is chill… in a doofus (lovingly) way. i can also see kinda april and andy vibes. “someone will d!3…” “of fun?!” he’s a little scared of you but also a little turned on by you. but he’s always down to invoke the powers of darkness with you as long as you go get food together.

haechan- he’s intimidated by you in like a simp way. normally with everyone else he’s a little shit but you’re so hot and intimidating that he can’t help but 🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️ sometimes all you have to do is give him a look and he 😐. but he loves you so fucking much. if you aren’t a cuddly or affectionate person, you will be by the time he’s done with you. he gets real excited when your feral streak kicks in and y’all are lowkey manic together. the way this man hypes you up in a fight, if you ever get that far 😂

[possumdrawsstuff]

THAT SCAR REF SHEET I WAS TALKING ABT FOR JIM!

all of these r based off stuff that happened in canon, if you think I’ve missed any cool opportunities then feel free to point them out! I add them because I believe that while they probably couldn’t have been included in the show for the pg rating and some of the ways he would’ve gained them being somewhat violent (even for trollhunters). I feel they add to his character and in how they would grow over time show how he would gain more and more experience as a trollhunter, yet also gaining more and more pressure and experiences that are probably not the best on jim mentally.

(Ps. I have no lightning scars In my design because lichtenberg scars, while cool looking, don’t usually last)

(Ps ps, the model I used to plan them out is from sketch fab somewhere but as I had originally not made this to post I didn’t save it, if anybody knows the creator, or is the creator, feel free to hit me up and I’ll credit you in the post.

ANYWAY MOVING ON TO THE SCARS AND MY SILLY LITTLE REASONS FOR THEM BEING THEREEE!

This is prolly gonna be angsty but I have an angsty ao3 background (to whoever read my Peter Parker nwh fic yall know ,and I am sorry I haven’t updated lol)

face/ eyebrow scar: I love that they gave him a scar in the movie, however, I didn’t like how it looked very much, especially with how he got it. I mean ARRRGHHH! Literally punched him so hard (love him Frfr but bro was not messing around even w Jim) that stone on stone had enough force to scratch some off of his face, this is why I usually make it look messier and more like scratchy scars rather than the clean cut from wizards/the unspeakable movie

2. GOBLIN/GENERAL SCARS: ok y’all I haven’t seen many other people do these but they are ver important to me 😌. Just scars from sparring could be all of these, the heroes forge has literal flying axes like ?? and in earlier seasons he didn’t always have his armor on or have a helmet at his disposal so I think he would to have had to have been nicked pretty good at least once or twice. Then there’s the goblin scars, In my version they told Barbara that it was racoons that got him , but the idea is that for Jim to have landed in the hospital he must have been hurt pretty badly that night, so, I would imagine that even while facing nomura Jim was fighting against the effects of blood loss also.

3.Angor rot: if you couldn’t tell by the photo it doesn’t show up in this! HOWEVER in my silly little side project (I’m sure some of you can probably guess what it is and if you can’t, idk look at some of my reblogs and you’ll probably find it, BUT! because it takes place after canon (yes including the movie) but also has some crunchy plot twisting In the background, the angry rot man face thing (I cant remember the name of it right now for the life of me please) will show up whenever he comes near to Jim, even if time is messed up, angor rot is back and technically hasn’t died yet so yes Jim gets the spoopy glowy thing.

4.amulet scar: idk if anybody remembers but when the arcane order took Jim’s amulet, he got scars from it right? It can be seen on his beast design is all of the tendrils leeching out from the indent of the amulet, my thinking is if his human form also got scarred by ARRGHHH! Why didn’t this scar translate too? Then again it could’ve but Jim is obviously a big fan of blue jacket*tm* so we will never know, I think he did but idk 🤷‍♀️

5.Bellroc- HEY SO ANYBODY REMEMBER WHEN BELLROC LITERALLY IMPALES JIM ON HER FLAMING STAFF!?! AND HE JUST KEPT GOING AFTER GETTING THE ARMOR!?! LIKE HE DIDNT JUST GET IMPALED? (This is partly why I think he gets like an adrenaline rush magic thingy as seen in some fic i read at some point PLEASE TELL ME IF ITS YOUR FIC I LOST IT PLEASE) YA that’s gonna leave a mark! the wound I’m guessing instantly cauterized so while yes it would hurt really bad I take that as why he was just running around after the armor.

6.burnt hand, another thing that happened in the movie but didn’t really get wrapped up in the end, Jim burnt his left hand on the gaggletac (idk how to spell it) and it just stayed bandaged for the rest of the movie, so it is also included on this list

7.back scars from bular: this one is probably the stretchiest one in this list but I think that it would have been an AMAZING addition to the plot character development wise. In one scene we see bular literally crushing and sliding Jim up the bridges interior wall and Jim is literally like silently screaming in this scene (thank you Guillermo /im sad for my son) and I like to think that after rushing over and doing Romeo and Juliet, Jim got off stage, practically ran over some people trying to get home because he can feel it, the whole play. This gives him some insight on the dangers of troll hunting. Yes I know this was a lesson beforehand but this is in the arc along with the goblins where Jim is learning he’s going to have to make personal sacrifices to keep up this troll hunting thing, including his mental health probably , it will serve as a very physical reminder of the constant danger he is now and will probably forever be in (in case y’all couldn’t tell that I’ve watched Spider-Man nwh like 8 times I’m out for blood on this one)

8.face scar from morgana: slinging the mood back around and also calling back to the “scars gained while Jim is a troll also get applied to his human form”, in like one of the last episodes maybe 2nd to last or the very last one in the final battle with morgana, she scratches Jim’s cheek with a throwing dagger and from what I can remember I thought it actually stayed on his face throughout the end of the series, I could be deluxe but I still like to add it for some reminder of the OG final battle.

not mentioned here- little pit in the amulet indention from the dark shard, and various scars from the dark lands.

if you read that entire rant I’m sorry , enjoy!

[froggy-demon]

Oh Deer - Part Four

A/N: thank you again for all of the support!! I had to rewrite this one a couple of times because I just couldn’t decide, I hope you like it <3 I’m so excited to share my writings and I’m so astonished every time y’all leave nice comments I love them so much, thank you!! All of that said, enjoy!

Chapter Summery: Lilly is treated to a glamorous night out under the Vs’ roof, accompanied by a familiar demon, angst and tension ensues.

Masterlist | Part Five

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I rolled my eyes, again, and waved away the idea. “No way, we both know Alastor fucking hates me, he just hates Lucifer more I guess.” Angel was positive that Alastor was sincere in his display earlier, I was not quite as delusional though. “He quite literally said he was fucking around.” I added. Even if I found myself fascinated with the demon, I wasn’t so naive to think that feeling went both ways.

“Maybe, or maybe he just wanted an excuse.” Angel paused and had a look of realization on his face as he broke out into a smile. “If you want some real attention though, y’know the Vs are throwing that big party if Velvette ain’t already dragging you to it you could be my plus one! Val usually keeps me pretty fucking busy all night, but they are actually pretty fun. Lots of cute demons and free booze if you know what I mean!” Angle said with a wink and laughed. That’s not a terrible idea actually, get out a little and have some fun. My streak hasn’t been so great recently so I could really use a win on that front.

“Y’know that actually does sound fun. Velvette hasn’t brought it up at all yet so she probably won’t need me there, but I also don’t have anything to wear for it, I’ll need something new. I could use some retail therapy anyway.” I said and rested my head on top of the pillow in my lap smiling. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Angel lit up at the sound of going shopping.

“Oh I will make sure you are the best dressed demon in the whole fucking party, don’t worry about that tuts! We want something that will show you you off!” He held up his fingers like he was mimicking a camera taking pictures of me. “You got it all babe! The tits, the ass, the smile! They are going to eat you up, especially once I’m done with you!” He ranted making me laugh. I don’t think in my whole before and afterlife I’ve ever heard someone describe me that way. “I’m serious! Al will see what he’s missing tomorrow night!” Angel teased very proud of his scheme.

“This has nothing to do with him, but I do like that idea. As soon as I get off work we need to hit the shops so we still have enough time.” I said trying to plan out the next night. Angel agreed and we worked out the time table to make sure we would stay on track. Work, then shop, then hotel to get ready, then back across town to the party. Excellent, tomorrow night will be all about what I want, it’s been a while since I could say that.

After a couple more hours of giggling and gossip, like hearing allllll about how Husk and Angel made eye contact today and it was riveting, we settle down to fall asleep while the purple lights twinkled above our heads. I tried to calm my mind, but it raced just thinking about tomorrow. This party is for high profile souls, overlords and wealthy demons in hell, hopefully I don’t stick out too much, but I like to think I’ve learned a good amount from my work. Maybe it will be enough to actually go a whole night without thinking about the radio demon, I can only hope.

The next morning there was a renewed joy in my step as I walked down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. It didn’t matter that it was far too early to be awake, or that I was about to be yelled at for the next ten hours of my day, no, I would do it all with a smile because today I actually had something to look forward to. I cozied up in a chair in the lounge with my mug and breathed in the steam while I watched the fire in the fireplace dance.

1-2-click 1-2-click 1-2-click

I can’t help but wonder what makes him need to be up so early, what business could he have at 4am? He walked through the lounge and I tried to hide the fact that I was watching by playing on my phone. I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the sight of him with curious eyes, he was less put together than usual. His ears were tucked back and he wasn’t wearing his waistcoat. It was an odd sighting for him to not have it on. Without it you could see his sleeve garters which gave him an almost rugged look like he had been pouring over his desk for hours, and then you could see his little deer tail. He didn’t greet me and I was not going to be the first one of us to say anything so he passed through the room quietly. After he did, I took another sip of my coffee. Maybe his broadcast had given him some sort of trouble, or perhaps he had been returning to his M.O. from before his absence of torturing souls he saw fit on the air. I don’t care to listen to his broadcasts, when anything important happens I will know either from sinstigram or Velvette yelling about it the next day.

After a few more minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning hotel I cleaned my mug out and made my way to work.

Upon arriving I could tell I was going to have a few extra duties today. They were already decorating the main event space elsewhere in the building, I could tell by the exorbitant number of tables and decor being moved around through the halls, and if there is one thing Velvette loves it is to micromanage how something looks. I go up to the studio and start collecting my clipboard and the ever growing list of what must get done today. Between keeping tv personalities well dressed, reshoots for the launch of Velvette’s fashion line, and now the party I think I’m going to need a second pair of arms. I guess that’s what we have the studio aids for.

“I need the Art Director for Velvette’s line in the studio, we need to confirm details and revisions.” I spoke into my earpiece and waited for confirmation before moving onto the next task and then the task after that. Finally some time later Velvette joined us in the studio and started barking her own orders as well. I joined the collection of demons flocking to her side for their morning abuse.

“Fucking finally, Lilly I need you to make sure everyone to set downstairs before you leave today. Make sure you have the vision plan and everything else I had them work up so you actually know what the fuck you’re supposed to be checking. If a single fucking chair is at the wrong angle it is your fault. Me and Vox have put too much fucking work into this party tonight for it not to look right I need perfection from you today. Even the seven bloody deadly sins are coming so if anything is not exactly the way I fucking pictured it, your leash will become very short.” She ordered and I nodded quietly. “Until then I need the stupid fucking art director for my line up here now!”

“Yes Ma’am. The Art Director is waiting for you with the concept photos for final approval.” I stated. She smiled, not exactly rare, but not exactly common especially while she was working.

“Finally you use that fucking brain of yours to get shit ready before I have to tell you to. How refreshing! In that case find the makeup artists, they keep running off to hell knows what and I’m this close to snapping one of them in half to set a fucking example, ungrateful little shits!” And with that she left to yell at the next soul she could find.

I spoke into my earpiece again, “Creative Director for Events, where are you? We need to check in immediately.” Upon confirmation that they were downstairs in the event space I headed there myself and we went over the binders of planning and inspiration the Vs had laid out. The event hall was really more like a grand ballroom, as hypermodern as the Vs were, it would seem they still found charm in some old world aesthetics. With massive crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, white marble floors, and dramatically draped floor length windows, it nearly looked straight out of a period piece. The colors for the party were blue and black, sounds like Vox won that argument. The tables were being set up with black tablecloths and vibrant blue hydrangeas, I didn’t even know you could grow those in hell. There were demons running all around the space sweeping, bringing things in, decorating the stage, the bar, exchanging the drapes out to match the color scheme.

I checked every chair and table to make sure they were level, every centerpiece for dead flowers and leaves, the stage for splinters, the drapes for snugs in the fabric. “Do we have the staff apparel ready?” I asked the director. She was a short demon who was lizard like with one large eye in the center of her head.

“No, we hadn’t coordinated that yet.” Of course not. I mentally rolled my eyes, luckily costuming was my bread and butter.

“I’ll handle that then, how much staff will there be tonight?” I asked clicking my pen so I could jot in down. 100 serves, 10 bartenders, 5 bands, 45 miscellaneous staff on the floor, okay, doable. “Keep a handle on everything down here, I’ll track all of that down, do not let them fuck it up.” I said and she gave a polite nod. Awesome, 160 coordinated outfits, because that won’t take all day or anything.

I spent a good few hours tracking down various sizes of royal blue suit vests and dress pants, royal blue suit jackets, royal blue button up shirts and black ties, royal blue knee length skirts, shoes, but it was possible with the size of our costuming department. By the end of the day I had neatly organized racks of outfits for each position and each size with a skirt or pants option. Staff was just beginning to trickle in the door and I assigned a few studio aids to help make sure everyone had the clothes they required for the night. Before it was too late I did one last once over of the ballroom. Centerpieces were good, chairs good, all the ambient candles were lit, I could see the bartenders just beginning to organize the bars, the bands were setting up their equipment, I think I might have actually pulled this one off.

I breathe a sigh of relief and I finish triple checking my work. Everything is set in place which leaves only one more thing: myself. I handover to the Event Manager who has arrived for the evening and she thanks me for getting us here, something I’m not very used to hearing. I thank her and text Angel Dust that I’m on my way out the door at work and am heading out to pick out a dress. He immediately texts back that he is on his way to the front of the building as well and we will meet there. I gather myself and get there just as he is.

Angel is in good spirits as he links his lower arm with mine, which is still a bit tall for me, and we start wadding through shop after shop. We know we are on a time crunch, but Angel seems to have something very specific in mind. Finally after trying on at least two dozen dresses and probably half as many shops, when I step out of the dressing room his eyes light up and a big smile spreads across his face.

“Oh baby, that is the one!” He spins me toward the mirror and I can’t help but feel a little self conscious. “You are going to be turning heads all fucking night in this little number! We might need to hire security for you!” I laughed at the idea and attempted to pull the hem down just an inch more. It was a very short black, strapless dress with a wide square neckline and a low back. It came with a pair of matching black elbow length gloves and I could already imagine how I would pair it with accessories at home. He was right though, it looked stunning. It hugged every square inch of my body and admittedly had more cleavage than I was used to as it seemed to defy physics by still being supportive, it was beautiful.

“Angel, it might be too much, I don’t want to go overboard.” I said biting my lip, but I couldn’t stop turning in the mirror to see myself at every angle. Angel grabbed my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror.

“It’s perfect.” He assured. We bought it and took it home with just one hour left to get ready for the evening.

When he stepped out Angel was wearing a black version of his typical suit jacket and shorts, exchanging his pinkish red gloves for a baby pink pair and kept his thigh high boots, he looked incredible and I told him so, he nearly blushed for a second before lighting back up as we walked downstairs.

“Me? Fucking look at you! Little miss straight-laced, you look drop-double-dead-gorgeous tonight!” He beamed, this time it was my turn to blush. I had added a pair of dark tights and my royal blue Mary Jane shoes, with a delicate royal blue ribbon tied around my neck like a choker. I pulled my gloves up a little more to make sure they were all the way on before running a hand through my hair. I hope he is right.

“Thank you Angel, I try my best.” I said sheepishly. Angel instead upon stopping by the lounge where the rest of the group was gathered to say goodbye before we were off. We stepped into the room and I smiled awkwardly as Angel presented me, very proud of his work.

“I give to you, the new and improved Lilly!” He sang and motioned to me. Charlie looked surprised but happy, Vaggie was about the same, but had a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sir. Pentious had a light blush but reassured me that I looked very nice. Husk was trying to hide it, but absolutely eyeing Angel. Niffty squealed with joy and ram little figure eights around us manically giggling about how nice we looked. Alastor was nowhere to be found though. “Where’s the big guy? I said I needed everyone!” Angel frowned.

“Please excuse my tardiness, I too was getting ready for tonight!” Alastor chirped as he walked into the room. He was dressed very well, his suit looked new just for the occasion as it was a slightly deeper shade of red than his normal suit and it was more simple with a short tail coat and a chain across the chest and it had a very faint pinstripe pattern to it. He looked like he had gotten a fresh haircut and maybe it’s my imagination, but even his old cane looked a little fresher to match. As I finished drinking him in I realized his eyes were going over me in the very same way.

“Since when are you fucking going to a party that Vox is throwing?” Angel asked the demon who chuckled.

“Oh I wouldn’t dare miss it, so many important demons and souls there tonight. I couldn’t give Vox the chance to twist a narrative if left to his own devices! Plus,” he pulled a small paper from his breast pocket. “He invited me.” Alastor had a wicked smile on as he stuffed his invitation back into his pocket. Angel gave me a small look that told me this was news to him, as it was to me. I guess Alastor is an overlord and Vox does seem rather keen on him. Even if they are enemies, best to keep him close.

“Well, I guess we should all get going then.” I said and before I could turn towards the door shadows crushed over us and just as quickly as they appeared they dissipated and we were in front of the event room door.

•

As soon as I saw her in the lounge I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Her dress was the most revealing thing I’d even seen draped across her figure. The visual mixing with her timid posing made something within me tick. Every curve was on display, the dress hardly covered her ass as the hem just barely brushed the top of her soft thighs, it scarcely managed to contain her chest if she didn’t have perfect posture it could be quite the display, her exposed back left her looking delicate and accessible. An anger burned in me, traipsing through a gala in such a vulnerable position, she should be locked away from such prying eyes where only I can look upon her form like this, where I can revel in it. The gentle look in her eyes made my mind race. How dare she look like that and yet so innocent at the same time, I wanted to ruin that innocent look, I wanted her eyes to hold nothing but pleasure and lust as I did so. If a soul should so much as hover their eyes over her a moment too long I might have to restrain myself from slaughtering them. As we walked into the event room Angel was quickly called away but Valentino, who blew us a sarcastic kiss from across the busy room. My eyes stayed trained on her though, she would not be leaving my sight tonight whether she knew it or not.

•

Alastor seemed in no rush to find any friends as he walked behind me through the crowded space. Hundreds of demons and overlords and hellish elites mingled around me. I secretly enjoyed his company, but me and Angel had agreed that tonight was about me and as much as I was intregued by Alastor, I knew that went one way. “Alastor, if you are going to accompany me tonight,” I turned and flashed a smile at him. “Would you perhaps be able to hunt down a drink for me to sip on? It’s awfully warm.” I asked, anxiously adjusting my gloves again. He casted his eyes across the room before answering.

“Why don’t you join me, My Dear? We’ll find it together. Then I can brief you on who not to talk to.” He stressed the end of his sentence like it was very important I don’t meet certain souls in attendance tonight. He reached to place a hand on my shoulder blade to guide me forward but I stepped to the side.

“Please Alastor, I’ll find my way to somewhere quiet until you return, I’m a big girl.” I teased a little and batted my eyes at him. I don’t know what his deal was tonight, maybe he had more foes than friends in attendance, but still I know how to get out of a sticky situation when I find myself in one, especially here.

“I insist, I wouldn’t want to abandon a lady at an event like this, who knows what kind of unsavory figure could swoop in.” The static crackled off his voice at the beginning. I felt his hand meet my shoulder successfully. His eyes burned into mine and I felt there was danger that I wasn’t aware of. I gave in and slowed to allow him to guide me towards the bar. It was quite busy and in the crowd my back was nearly pressed against his chest as we walked. I could feel the heat coming off in him, he smelled like fresh rain in the woods. I kept my hands clasped in front of me and kept a polite smile on as we finally reached the edge of the crowd for my drink.

Alastor left my side by less than two steps to order me a drink, I took the chance to look around the room. There were hundreds of finely dressed demons in attendance, a part of me was very pleased to see everyone enjoying the space I had helped to create and so far not a hair out of place.

“For you, My Dear.” He said graciously as he handed me my glass, if I remember the menu correctly this is a mermaid mule, giving it a violently blue color. “Now I think it’s about time we start making the rounds to say hello, don’t you think?” He grinned and placed his hand back on my shoulder blade as we reentered the crowd. It wasn’t really a question that explain answer. I looked up at him from the corner of my eye, he was quite cautiously watching the crowd. I couldn’t tell if he was looking for anyone in particular or not, but his mind certainly had a goal it was focused on.

“Alastor, I appreciate the escort, but really I was hoping to be on my own tonight.” He did not bother to look at me, but he did seem to see someone he wished to talk to as we gently started heading a different way. “I fear you might not be the most suitable wing man.” I teased trying to smile at the taller demon.

“I’m afraid not, besides please allow me to introduce you to the darling Rosie, overlord of cannibal town!” He motioned to the women just a couple of feet ahead of us now. She was tall and remarkably pretty even with her hollowed out eyes and her sharp teeth she managed to look friendly and lively. “Rosie! A pleasure as always!” Alastor sang.

She turned and lit up upon seeing him, waving us over. “Alastor darling, it’s so good to see you! Who’s this little number you brought along tonight? You better keep a close eye on her. I could eat her right up!” Her smile reminded me of his, but it was more sincere. She spoke with a very old dialect, but it left me thinking she ought to be sipping tea on someone’s porch with a novel in her hand. I returned her smile and Alastor introduced us.

“This is Lilly, an associate of mine from Charlie’s hotel.” He said and Rosie gave a small applause.

“It is very nice to meet you Ma’am, I am very lucky to be a resident under the princess’ trust. I hope you are enjoying the evening, I helped put it together, so please feel free to let me know if there is anything at all you need. I am positive we can make it happen.” I offered and she giggled.

“Oh such a sweetheart, you are! What a very nice swaray this is turning out to be, thank you! I can’t imagine need anything not already provided!” She assured me and she and Alastor continued to talk for a few more minutes. I watched Alastor as he did, he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company, it was a nice look on him, but his ears would twitch every so often giving away that he was still on high alert.

Eventually Alastor excused us, in search of another overlord to greet. We repeated this pattern a few times, one even joked that if Alastor was going to keep such a close eye on me he needed to put me ‘under contract’, or he would. I felt Alastor’s claws ever so slightly press themselves a little harder into my skin and his laugh was clipped. Once we had a moment to ourselves again I scanned the room for Angel or Valentino, I hadn’t seen him since our arrival, but with no luck. I did however spot another V. I could see Vox chatting up an interesting looking demon, he was tall and owl like and dressed quite regally, I recognized him as Stolis, rumor had it he did love daytime dramas so I guess I can’t be too surprised.

“Alastor, maybe I should go find Angel, just to check in on him.” It almost felt futile, of course I enjoyed Alastor’s company, and the feeling of his hand sent electric currents through my skin, but it also felt hopeless to think that he was thinking what I was thinking. Thinking about how he had looked so delightfully disheveled this morning, how he might look beneath his well tailored clothes, how the heat of his body might fully wash over mine, how his hand might feel elsewhere. It wouldn’t take more than a couple skilled movement to have me out of a dress like this and I was sure he was skilled. I nearly blushed at just the passing thought.

•

It took all the strength I had to not sink my claws into her. Why did she want to walk away so badly, I have been nothing but the perfect gentleman all evening and still she is not content. I flicked my eyes back down to hers, I could smell a faint scent of attraction from her, how sweet it smelled. Maybe I could use that to keep her close. Clearly she wanted some kind of attention tonight, I could give her a little taste. “Do I bore you? I apologize if meeting so many people was overwhelming, but it would have been rude not to.” I grinned, I allowed my hand to drop to the bottom of her back, just above her dress. “I appreciate your cooperation, truthfully,” I walked us forward and bent down ever so slightly so I could whisper into her ear. I could smell the perfume of her attraction better here, her back was stiff and I could see her chest rise and fall with every deep breath she was taking. “I don’t trust a single soul here to be alone with you, My Dear.” I said, my tone was soft but I couldn’t help the static creeping into my voice. It was true after all, none of them deserved to even lay eyes on her.

She looked up at me with sweet wide eyes, “Is that why, Alastor, you’ve kept me on such a short leash tonight?” She asked. Oh I would love to put her on a leash. “Afraid I might find a new overlord to pester?” She smiled at her own jab. “Don’t worry, I was just hoping to find a little bit of, y’know, company tonight.” Her face flushed softly and felt that pit in my stomach grow.

She wanted some disgusting demon to see her like that, to touch her like that. The idea made me sick, and more so my anger grew. The image of her sprawled out, eyes so innocent and inviting, her hair like the halo she deserved on the pillow beneath her, for someone else? I had to control my anger or before I could explain myself we would be back in the hotel, back in my room, and I needed to be here tonight unfortunately.

And that reason was walking towards us now as my smile widened I was keenly aware of my hand moving to grip Lilly’s waist instead to keep her even closer to me.

•

Alastor’s grip was strong, I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at, surely what I said hadn’t upset him like this. Then it made sense, Vox. While they have been throwing punches from afar via broadcast this is the first time they will have seen each other face to face since Alastor’s return. Vox was in the same suit he always wore, but it at least looked a little better pressed today.

“Alastor! Has anyone ever told you it’s rude not to greet the host.” Vox remarked as he walked into range. “I didn’t think we were inviting just anyone tonight?” He laughed, Alastor produced his invitation from his pocket again.

“Why, you personally signed it. There was a kiss and a heart on my invitation just like you always did.” Alastor remarked, flipping it over between his fingers to prove it, making Vox scowl slightly. I held in a giggle. His annoyed eyes landed on me and I suddenly wanted Alastor’s shadows to whisk me away from here. Work is one thing, I tolerate whatever abuse the other two Vs wish to throw my way as politely as I can to keep Velvette happy, but I’m not working now, and my back is against the chest of the soul Vox might just hate the most in all of hell. The other part of me wants to stand tall, who says I can even rely on Alastor for defense here, he’s so hot and cold with me. “And Vel’s pet, what a combination! I must say Velvette has only had the pettiest complaints tonight so that is as close as a job well down can be for her, congratulations!” Vox held out a hand for me to shake. I wanted to look at Alastor for approval or an excuse, I really wanted to not have to shake his hand, but I did. An acute ringing appeared in my ears.

“Thank you, Mr. Vox.” I said plainly. There was tension in the air between the two, but they both remained polite. It would cause too much of a scene for them to duke it out here in public. I felt the anger pooling in Alastor’s muscles as it felt like he was entirely still, not even feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed behind me anymore. I could feel his eyes bore into me, something I normally treasured, but now I couldn’t shake the animosity that was behind them even if that was not necessarily directed my way.

“I rather think red and black would have been a more flattering theme, but I guess blue is nice to some people.” Alastor quipped, adjusting his suit jacket proudly, Vox’s smile strained.

“It looks to me that someone prefers the blue.” Vox smirked and reached for the ribbon I wore around my neck, but before he could actually make contact Alastor moved us a step back. He held me with a force that threatened the delicate fabric of my dress.

“A gentleman would ask permission before reaching for a lady that way, and concede when she denies. Maybe you yourself are too modern for basic manners?” Alastor teased. His eyes burned bright red, contrasting his airy attitude and smile. I could feel his breath ticking the nape of my neck, under different circumstances I might let myself dwell on that feeling, I knew he was fired up. As bloodthirsty as Alastor may be, he has his values.

“You know I could introduce you to at least twenty demons here tonight who could show you a better time.” Vox couldn’t help but keep the irritation out of his voice as he stood with one hand on his hip, it almost sounded like a threat, I’m not sure if I wanted to know exactly what a good time entails for him. Vox played with Alastor’s protectiveness tonight. Ironically, here was someone who was basically offering me exactly what I claimed I wanted, but now that it’s in front of me and especially coming from him I had no interest. I was repulsed by the idea. I kept my back straight and tried to shake off Alastor’s grip a little, I don’t want to be intimidated by Vox right now. He doesn’t hold any direct power over me more than any other demon here. I’m sick of being pushed and pulled around so much.

“I’m plenty satisfied with my company. I’d like if you left us be now, I’m sure you can find time to taunt Alastor on any other day. We would like to enjoy the night.” I asserted. His plasma smile inverted. He looked like a petulant child being told play time was over.

“You’re welcome to reconsider, I’m sure Velvette would like-“

“Velvette does not care for my company, Mr. Vox.” I cut him off. I held back my shame thinking about her and forced myself to continue. “Goodnight, Sir.” He couldn’t hide his displeasure in my answer, clearly he had wanted to demean Alastor in some way by whisking away his date. He took two steps towards us, leaving just a foot of space in between. Baring his LED teeth he looked down at me.

“You ungrateful bi-”

“Be so kind as to let us get on with our evening wont you?” Alastor cut him off, static crackling off his words, he loomed behind me, his eyes practically begging Vox to push him further. He wouldn’t make the first move, but he wouldn’t step down once Vox did. Without looking past me Vox took a deep breath and straightened his tie returning to his dry smile.

“Enjoy the night. We’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” Vox nodded in my direction with a glint in his eye. I stood in silence as he turned his back to us and rejoined the crowd.

I turned around to face Alastor. Part of me wanted to run away from here, be enveloped in his arms and just dissolve. Another part of me wanted his fingers to find somewhere else they could mercilessly sink into and to free me from my dress as we fell onto his bed. The part of me that won, however, was the part that looked at his angry eyes and smiled, requesting another drink. We could stay here if it meant he would keep holding onto me, if it meant he would continue to be just a step behind me no matter what, if it meant I was the center of his attention for a little bit longer. I knew I might have to pay for my disrespect in the morning, but that felt so far away at this moment. Right now I was safe, I was with Alastor, and that's all I wanted to think about. The ambient candle light danced in his eyes as he looked at me, and as much as he would hate to hear it, the contrast of the rich blue background only made his red hair and eyes look all that much more alluring.

He indulged my request and his grip on my waist was no longer lethal as he guided me to the closest bar in the event room. I ordered my drink and downed it to try to steady my head. Alastor gently hummed along to the band playing while leaning his back against the bar a little, he looked content and for a moment he almost looked like a regular person enjoying his night. If you wanted you could imagine him in life, whatever that had looked like, it was haunting.

“Alastor, would you dance with me?” I asked, unable to keep a smile off my face at his display. He stood up and took one of my hands in his and his grin grew as he gave me a small bow.

“Of course, My Dear, I’d be delighted.” He replied and we joined the dance floor not far away. I was, unfortunately, not a terribly skilled dancer, but Alastor led and I was able to follow. His arm snaked around my waist while the other kept my hand, my free hand rested on his shoulder. His eyes consumed me and I savored it. We had been close all night, but for the first time the proximity felt purposefully intimate. I nearly couldn’t bear the way he looked at me, half lidded eyes slowly raked over my figure before landing back on my own eyes. I wanted him to say something. Beside the fact that I was heavily focused on not tripping over my own feet, my heart raced and I’m not sure I could muster anything worth saying. This was the closest thing I could call a confirmation that he might be thinking what I’m thinking. Maybe he had been all night, maybe that was why he couldn’t let me out of his grip for more than thirty seconds. Or maybe he just liked putting on a show.

I was able to match his steps as we spun around the floor. He had a slightly softer smile playing on his lips. I hoped my nerves weren’t showing through in my smile, I felt like I had it under control, but as I held his gaze I wasn’t so sure my eyes were on my side. “You are a marvelous dancer, no need to worry, you are doing perfectly fine.” Alastor cooed, thinking that must be what’s caused my anxiety. I allowed myself I look past him for a moment to collect my thoughts. I wasn’t even an okay dancer, but it is sweet he would say so.

“I think you are the first dance partner of mine to say that. I stepped on many date’s toes unfortunately in life.” I admitted. Back in my dancing days I quickly fell down the rank of ladies at work to take out, I might be able to make you laugh but that’s about all I was good at on a date.

“Maybe the problem was more so with the partner.” Alastor said and twirled us around. “I seem to have no such problem.” He pulled me ever so slightly closer to him, my chest nearly against his. He was right, I hadn’t actually had much of a misstep at all. He was an excellent dance partner. He knew how to lead and to help me stay in time with him. Alastor gently guided my waist in the direction changes, or gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We were working in tandem quite gracefully.

The song came to an end and I wished it would last just a couple of minutes longer. Alastor released me and gave a slight bow, he was completely serious but I couldn’t help from giggling a little. Such a gentleman tonight. His hand returned to my shoulder blade and we melted into the crowd again. I thought about Alastor more, he is difficult, but it just makes me want more of him. I never know what I will get with him and as frustrating as it is it is also alluring. I pulled up the tops of my gloves a little, just to busy myself, as I caught my breath. I almost felt cold now without the heat of his body so close to mine, even though he was just a few inches further away than he had been it was enough for a chill to sweep through me. I hugged myself a little to compensate and blushed slightly when I realized how pronounced it made my chest. Almost immediately I felt a warm soft fabric cover my shoulders. I looked down at it as I pulled it closer to me and realized it was Alastor’s suit jacket before looking back at him.

“You looked cold, understandable given your attire, we wouldn’t want you to catch a chill now would we?” Alastor offered before I could even question him with a pleasant smile on his face. I smiled back.

“Thank you, though I paid good money for this dress, I ought to show it off. I don’t know when else I’ll ever get the excuse to.” I said and soothed the hem of my dress that just barely came down long enough. I moved to shake off the jacket, but his hand on my shoulder kept me from doing so.

His smile widened. “I think you look particularly lovely just like this!” His voice rang in my ears. Such a protective gentleman. I couldn’t help but to want to tease him.

I shrugged off his hand and his jacket, offering it back to him. “Please, Alastor, I insist.” He begrudgingly took it back and slipped the jacket back on, adjusting his cuffs. I looked up at him with shy eyes as I slowly traced my hands over my silhouette, seemingly to soothe my dress to anyone else. I watched as Alastor’s eyes followed my hands. “Thank you, I think I look rather nice, don’t you?” I asked sweetly. His eyes flicked back up to mine before I spun a little to give him a better look. His grip on his cane became tight. He looked at me like I was prey he was stalking in the forest, absolutely trained on me watching what I would do next. It burned into me and I loved it.

“You look very nice, My Dear. I think you know that.” He said, his voice was clipped, but not dangerous. I smiled. It was fun to get under his skin a little, especially given how he does it to me.

“Maybe, but I was just curious if you also thought so. You look quite handsome yourself, I rather like this suit on you.” I teased and adjusted his lapels a little. I could feel his breath again on the top of my head as I did so and when I looked at his eyes they were glowing a deep ruby color. His hand curled around my wrist, plucking it off of him. I could tell he was trying to decide exactly what to say, so I continued to press him. “Oh, does the touching only go one way? You’ve had your hands on me all night. I thought I might return the favor.” My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at him. My vision darkened and for a moment all I could see was the glowing of his eyes and his crazed grin. When it lightened back up I knew I was back in the hotel, but in a room I had never seen before. My eyes found the forest that looked like it had been patched onto the room and I knew. This must be Alastor’s room.

The confidence I had held just seconds ago evaporated upon the realization. Alastor gently guided my chin so that my gaze was directed back at him. I knew my eyes were wide and my heart thudded against my ribs as I wasn’t sure if I should be terrified or thrilled, or both. His ears were flat against his head as his eyes drank me in one last time. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me tonight.” His voice came out low and no louder than a whisper. One of his arms wrapped around my waist like when we were dancing, but now his claws nearly pierced my skin through the delicate fabric of my dress. He held me close there, I had no answer.

Alastor used his other hand to slowly run the sharp edge of a claw along a path from my jaw, down my neck, over my shoulder, then across my back. My skin hissed at the sensation, it wasn’t even enough to truly break the skin but it sent shockwaves through my system. I stood perfectly still, I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. I wanted him to just tell me, tell me if he craves me the way I crave him or not. I wanted more of his touch, but I was in no position to demand such a thing.

“As soon as I saw your little getup tonight,” He started to explain, deliberately fiddling with my dress’ fabric. “I wanted to whisk you up here, keep you away from any other soul who might see you in such a state.” I felt my face growing increasingly warm as he combed his free hand through my hair. “I didn’t think they deserved such a sight, but I didn’t want to upset you, My Dear, so I settled for keeping a close watch over you.” I melted into his touch as he held my cheek in his hand while he spoke. “I restrained myself then, but you have pushed me too far.” Alastor leaned his head in closer to mine, until our foreheads almost touched. His eyes were still a glowing deep red. “I’ll tell you a secret. All night I have been able to smell the lust pouring out of you, and right now is the strongest it’s ever been. You smell so sweet.” his neck dips even lower and his lips threaten to brush against my neck, the promise of sweet kisses tantalizing close. I could hear the sound of my blood pumping through my veins, I was hyper aware of every inch of my body that Alastor was touching, my muscles screamed for me to do something. Either run away or grab him and never let him go, waiting was torture. “You have to go.”

My mind raced. Alastor wanted me to leave? We were still tangled together, he made no real move to let me leave. My body ached for more of his touch, I desperately wanted more. I didn’t want to leave this moment. “Please, let me stay.” I begged, my voice breathy almost as if I was gasping for air. I didn’t need air, I needed Alastor. He slowly straightened back up and released his grasp on my waist. My skin hissed at the lack of his heat, the dewy scent of him retreating as he took a step back. He did not raise his eyes to meet mine though, instead his voice was low and gravely, charged with static and energy as he commanded me again.

“Leave.” It was not a question. I held myself back from arguing with him and backed away towards the door behind me. His shadows pooled around him on the floor. Some seemed to deliberately run in my direction as if to grab me and pull me back but any time one headed my way another would smack it back. I watched Alastor while my back was still waiting to find the wall. He was not his normal composed self, no this was raw. He almost looked ashamed, yet angry, searching for something to take that out on. I would pray for whatever creature he takes that out on if I thought it would help. The heavy rise and fall of his chest gave away just how agitated he had become.

Finally my back pressed against the wall while my hand began to search for the doorknob. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak, I could barely move. Did I do something wrong? Can I fix it? I don’t want to push him too hard, but it gnawed on me, if I’d caused this outburst I want to make it right. I opened my mouth to call out his name, but before the first letter could fully form a shadow shot out to me, wrapping itself around my throat and jaw. I froze, I’ve been in the position before and did not want to make him more angry. Alastor slowly turned towards me, his breathing was labored and as he lifted his head I could see a gruesome grin on his face.

“I. Said. Out.”

I was forced backwards by the force of his shadow and only was able to disconcert the sound of his door slamming back shut as I realized I was now on the other side of it. I had fallen back from the force and found myself just staring up at his door. I suddenly felt small and alone here. Just a minute ago I had been the center of Alastor’s universe as we danced and now I was thrown aside and shut out. I wracked my brain for what had set him off so terribly.

I remembered his words, he had confessed to being attracted to me, and knowing I was attracted to him, it felt humiliating. I had felt so exposed and vulnerable in that moment, he hadn’t technically rejected me, but it sure felt like he had. My confidence had crashed. I wanted to curl up and die. I also wanted to march back in Alastor’s room and scream at him for making me feel this way, for building me up just to crush me in the end. Hot tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I forced them away. I don’t want to break down, instead I redirected the energy. You want me to leave? I’ll leave alright.

I slowly pulled myself back up and dusted off my dress, fixing myself and taking a long deep breath for comfort.. I cast one last hurt glance back at Alastor’s door and headed downstairs.

Shame, humiliation, and confusion swirled in my mind, perhaps distorting my decision making capabilities. I debated my next move, but I wasn’t in the headspace to think wisely. My feet carried me forward as if the speed of my steps could out pace these feelings. Soon my heels were clicking down the grand staircase outside the front door while my nails dug into my palm, my gloves didn’t protect me. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was walking, but I eventually found myself down an all too familiar path.

I could see the massive glowing light of the Vs’ studio signage even though I was still a solid mile away. It was as daunting as it always was, the blue neon looked like a bruise on the hellish red sky. It was fitting. The place that I looked forward to leaving everyday was suddenly a constant I could cling onto. I knew exactly where I stood here, I knew what to expect, what to do, how to act, who to be. I was thankful for that role, thankful for the rock it gave me to sink my nails into in order to hold onto something, anything, that made me feel better. Here I didn’t have to be myself and everything that entailed, I could simply be Velvette’s errandgirl, someone who did not care what that deer demon was doing back at the hotel right now. Someone who didn’t dwell on whether or not she would be able to bring herself to look into his deep ruby eyes the next time they met. Someone who didn’t miss the way he looked at her back in the ballroom with a playful possessiveness as the candle light danced behind them. No. I would be too busy for any of that.

I straightened out my back when the building came into focus drawing on a polite shy smile.

Quietly, I rejoined the event space. The party had of course continued in my absence, none the wiser to my personal angst. I cast my eyes about the room in search of Angel, unlikely as it was I couldn’t help myself. A friendly face would be nice right now, but no such luck. So I took a step forward, ever still conscious of my looks and of the crowd, and made my way back towards the bar. Alone this time, but the night was just beginning.

Part Five

Tags: @cannibalcoyote

[pupkashi]

nanami kento has a green thumb

a/n: hi hi friends ! I’m back with another nanami one shot ? drabble ? idk what this is considered anymore,, i hope you guys enjoy !! i write something similar on my old blog so this is loosely inspired by that :3 let me know what y’all think <3

wordcount: 1,181

masterlist

nanami kento has a green thumb, he’s only ever bought one plant in his life, and he’s kept it alive for five years now.

you’ve bought a multitude of plants in your life, and each and every one of them have met the same twisted fate: death.

nanami learned about your love for plants after the first couple dates, telling you that surely there’s no way you managed to dry out a cactus. and you, as sad as it was, showed him the picture of the dried cactus, a frown on your face as you explained to him that your love for plants just wasn’t meant to be; you were star crossed lovers.

so when you began dating, kento found himself in the plant nursery, getting you a small succulent that he hoped would survive.

“you only have to water it once every two weeks, just feel the soil and if it’s dry then water it” he explains to you, making sure his every word is heard before handing you the small plant. there’s worry in your eyes as you hold the plant gently.

“I’ll do my very best little guy” you say to the plant, looking up at your boyfriend and smiling widely. “thank you kento” he can only smile, pressing a kiss to your lips before taking in the sight of you and your sparkling eyes.

there’s no way someone as gentle and life as you could kill a plant that was easy to take care of, right?

when nanami comes over a month later he can help but let his eyes wander to the spot that you had claimed as the succulents home, only to find the plant nowhere in sight.

“okay the popcorn is ready, did you find the movie?” you ask, smiling as you settle onto the couch next to your boyfriend, “what’s wrong?” you ask, eyes following his and your whole demeanor shifts.

“y/n” his voice is soft as he turns to look at you, “where’s the plant i gave you?”

he knows. you know he knows. he knows you know he knows. and you wish he didn’t know you knew all that.

“you have to hear me out” you begin, setting the popcorn down and taking his hands in yours. “i really tried i did! i watered him like you said and he just started dying! i googled what to do and do i did that but then it just got worse so i didn’t water him and then he just- he was all yellow and dead!” you cried out, squeezing his hands before resting your head on his chest, landing with a small ‘thump.’

“okay, okay,” he smiles, arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly, “maybe he had a bacteria or a parasite i didn’t catch when i had bought him” he reasons, “I’ll get you another one, I’m sure you’ll be able to keep it alive” a smile of reassurance on his face as he kisses the top of your head.

two weeks later when he brings you yet another successful you take it in with weary arms, as careful with it as you’d be a newborn. everyday you talked to it, checking it’s soil and making sure it was healthy. and it was!

for one more week. then it began to wilt, despite the soul being moist. and so you watered it, because it needed water, right? it’s what google said.

and so succulent #2 was dead within the month. death by overwatering.

nanami didn’t gift you anymore plants, deciding that maybe when it came to plants you really were doomed.

he opted instead on buying a couple more plants for his own apartment, letting you name them and sending you updates on them.

when the two of you moved in together you were beyond ecstatic. you were finally gonna have plants in your home and they’d live longer than a month!

the home you’d bought had a small garden in the back, and you had envisioned an array of flowers you could plant. maybe your bad luck was only with house plants, you thought, outdoor plants are a lot easier right?

and so nanami watched as you brought home flower seeds and fertilizer, the gears in his head turning as he pieces together the plan you’d kept secret from him.

kento didn’t dare say a word to you, watching as you researched endlessly on the laptop, trying to keep the screen out of his sight but failing miserably.

“you need help with anything my love?” he asked, watching you haul a bag of soil across the yard.

“I’m fine, thank you honey!” you called out, smiling widely as you continued working, praying that these flowers would grow.

and they did! they grew beautifully and bloomed larger than you could have ever hoped for.

nanami watched as you snapped pictures of the blooming flowers, bright eyed and buzzing with excitement as he smiled next you.

“I’m so proud of you” he smiled, kissing your forehead as you boasted on and on about your now prized flowers.

nanami kento has a green thumb. one he used to help your garden of flowers out everytime after you worked on it. you’d slip into the shower and he’s rush outside, hastily and quietly gardening and trying to make sure you were doing the right things (half the time you were way off.)

“we’re you in the garden?” you asked once, noticing the speck of soil on his shorts.

“i just wanted to see how it was coming along, it look amazing darling” he smiled, hiding his very dirty hands in his pockets.

he would never tell you, nothing in the world could force the truth out of him no matter the circumstances. seeing the pure joy and accomplishment and your face was enough for him to bury his secret deep down and throw the key away.

for as long as he could, kento kept up with you Garden and every house plant you brought in, caring for them properly and letting you have all the praise for it. he didn’t mind, your happiness was all he ever wanted.

nanami kento had a green thumb, you had a black thumb. but maybe that’s what made you two destined for each other.

you eventually did find out though, when he had one too many shots and began apologizing profusely to you, spilling his secret and begging you to not leave him.

your hurt and anger came and went in a couple minutes, the sheer love and devotion of your lovers actions hitting you like ocean waves. all you could do is hold him tightly, kissing his face and telling him how much you love him.

come morning you’d confront him, asking him just how hard he had to work to keep alive the five orchids you brought home.

or in which you can’t keep a plant alive to save your life, but kento could do it with his eyes closed. he’s willing to live a life of lies in the garden to see you happy.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x fem!reader

during - part nine

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

everything changes, and then everything changes all over again.

a/n: COME AND GET IT Y’ALL. we’re getting closer and closer…and just for the record, now is when things are more than likely going to deviate a lot harder from what’s canon. I had to revamp a lot of my plan to fall in line with ep 3 (check the main masterlist if you’re curious), but at the end of the day, this is fanfiction y’all! plus this show is still airing so not everything is gonna be spot on! ya girl is trying her best!

word count: 6.1k (longest part yet!)

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, canon-typical violence and injuries, scars, blood, depictions of loss and grief, I’m making up a lot of shit okay

✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters!✨

“No, no, I can’t. You do it.”

“What?”

“You do it,” you say, feeling tears spring into your eyes. “I can’t.”

Cowan peers at you. He’s pulled his helmet off, and shoves his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face as he bends to your level. Definitely not a regulation haircut, but does FEDRA really care about that shit anymore?

“Are you sure?”

You shake your head, holding the headset towards him. He takes it from you wordlessly, and points to a piece of paper and a pen that’s sitting on the desk beside the radio.

“Write down their names.”

You chew the inside of your lip until you taste blood, uncapping the pen and scrawling your family’s names across the paper. You almost don’t write his name down, his voice a low murmur that rings through the base of your skull. I’ll find you, baby. 

Your hand is shaking as you form the letters.

Joel Miller.

Sarah Miller.

Tommy Miller.

Once you’re done, you slide the paper towards Cowan, and he gives a curt nod. He puts the headset over his ears, reaches for the mic attached to the radio, holds down the red button like Melissa said.

“This is Corporal Nicholas Cowan, Boston QZ, over,” he says, his voice brimming with authority. “Requesting civilian information, Austin QZ, over.”

As he waits, his brow goes tight, and your stomach follows suit. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat, your breathing growing shallow. You lean forward, elbows propped on your knees, hands steepled at your mouth. The words sound muffled to your ears, the response from Austin garbled over the headphones, Cowan’s response barely audible even though you’re sitting right there.

When he says the names though, that you hear crystal clear. Your head perks up, eyes glued to Cowan’s face, his unreadable expression. His eyes dart to yours only once, and he swallows, his throat bobbling. “Confirmed transmission, Austin QZ, over. Cowan out.”

The air feels still as he sets the mic down, takes the headset off. You’re just staring, watching his movements, unable to read what’s coming. Why doesn’t he just tell—

Cowan reaches out and takes your hand between both of his. His hands are warm, his knuckles calloused, palms rough. His brow pinches hard as his thumb swipes over the back of your hand, and he won’t meet your eyes. He says your name, barely a whisper.

Oh.

You straighten, your free hand falling into your lap. You want to wrench your other hand from his grip, but you’re frozen, your limbs almost limp. He opens his mouth, shuts it, shakes his head slightly.

“You have to say it,” you whisper out, your voice cracking on every other word. “Tell me what they said.”

He blows out a breath, and you can feel the warmth of it on your skin. You feel cold, all over. “They…they had nothing on the Millers, none of them. But your family…” He trails off, closes his eyes for a long moment that makes everything in you stall. “There is no record of Anna. Your sister?” You manage to nod. “But your parents…they were in a shelter. Austin was…Austin was overrun three days ago, and FEDRA ordered it levelled. The shelter was destroyed, and everyone inside was killed.”

The rug has been pulled out from under your feet, in a sense. Your stomach is in your toes, that bottomless feeling of falling forcing bile up the back of your throat. You’re lightheaded. You can’t see straight. The edges of your vision are ringed with black, darkness webbing across your line of sight. Cowan drops your hand, slides off the desk and sinks into a crouch in front of you. You can feel his hands around your biceps, fingers digging in.

“Look at me.”

Aren’t you? You thought you were, but you slide your eyes towards the sound of his voice. His face is blurry, a smudge you can’t quite make out. He keeps talking, his voice sounding muffled again, a jumble of letters your brain can’t suss out.

All of them? Gone?

Joel…

I’ll find you, baby.

You’re really falling then, the world tilting sideways. You let the darkness take you.

+

You don’t know where you are.

You blink slow, eyes focusing on the plain ceiling above you. There’s a crack in the paint, the orange shadow of light coming in through a window. The blanket pulled to your chin is not one you recognize; you’d nicked a thick flannel one from the mall, and this one isn’t as thick, or as soft. It’s a duvet, you think, the material almost scratchy against your cheek. Where…?

Rolling over slowly, you push the blanket back. You’re still fully dressed beneath, but your boots have been removed, sitting on the floor in front of the bed you’ve been tucked into. You lean up on your elbow slowly, swinging your legs over the edge of the mattress. Your head throbs a little, but you blink past it, taking in the space around you.

It’s a goddamned bachelor pad.

You get to your feet slowly, brow furrowed as a noise reaches your ears. Running water, someone clearing their throat. The place is nice, much nicer than the apartment you’ve been staying in with Deanna and the kids, but it still shows a bit of the destruction and decay of the outside world, one of the windows cracked, the split you’d noticed in the ceiling crawling down the wall. Your face must give away your exact feelings as you walk towards the noise and come face to face with Cowan.

“I know,” he says quietly, an embarrassed look on his face. “But there’s running water. For now, anyway. You can take a shower, if you want. How are you feeling?”

He looks…different.

You’re use to the soldier, with the rifle on his back and the bulky gear. Instead, the version standing in front of you is much…friendlier? Grey sweats and a plain t-shirt, feet still stuffed into his army-issue boots, but the laces are loose. There’s a tattoo around his bicep you’ve never seen before, like barbed wire wrapped all the way around.

And the look he’s giving is the polar opposite of the Signature Stare you’ve grown so used to.

“Here,” he says, his voice dropping low, handing you a bottle of water. “How are you feeling?” he asks again, and you crack open the bottle, take a long sip. “Scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” you mumble, half into the bottle, sipping again. “Thank you.”

He just nods.

“How long was I out?”

“Couple hours,” he replies, running a hand through his hair. Something in the back of your mind twinges; his hair looks soft, and you wonder how it would feel if you—

Nope.

“I should go,” you say, capping the bottle again. “Deanna is probably—”

“Ready to rip you a new one,” Cowan tells you, and the corner of his mouth quirks. “I went and told her what happened, after I brought you back here. She’s less than impressed with you.”

You groan loudly, tipping your head back on your shoulders. “Fuck.”

“You can hide out here a little longer,” he offers, shrugging, arms crossed across his chest. You find your eyes lingering on the bulge of his bicep beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt and immediately rip your eyes away. He’s good-looking, there’s no getting around that, but… “Take a shower, like I said. I’ve got patrols in a few hours. I told her about your family, too, so I’m sure she’ll go easier on you than you think.”

Your family.

The realization sets in almost anew, the memory sending a shiver surging up your spine. Your hands tighten on the water bottle, and you blink hard, willing the tears away. You nod so hard your neck hurts with the movement, swallowing hard. “Shower sounds good.”

Cowan leads you across the apartment, opens the bathroom door for you. “There’s towels under the sink,” he says, pointing to the most-intact vanity. It’s clean —the cleanest bathroom you’ve seen since the the outbreak — but still has that little tinge of destruction. The mirror’s cracked, the glass shattered in its frame, spidering outward like someone tried to put their fist through it. Bad luck. “Use whatever’s in the shower, the hot water lasts thirty minutes tops but…” He trails off, rubbing his bicep. “Take as long as you need. I’ll grab you a change of clothes.”

You just nod, stepping into the bathroom. The tiles feel almost foreign under your feet, and you get undressed, your hands almost shaking as you go. You catch a glimpse of your bare form in the cracked mirror, the spidery lines shattering the reflection. You can see the scars on your shoulder, from Dean, and the spot seems to throb, a phantom reminder of what happened, what brought you here.

Meeting your own eyes in the shards of glass makes something in you ache, your mind spinning as you remember the information Cowan had relayed. It sits heavily in your chest, a dark mark across your heart that makes everything in you ache. Tearing your eyes from the mirror, you cross to the shower, crank the heat as high as you can tolerate and step under the spray, pulling the curtain into place behind you.

The hot water makes you cry, the feeling of being truly clean making every emotion you’re already feeling turn overwhelming. You plant your hands on the tiled wall, bend your head beneath the water, letting it pour down your body, washing away the dirt that you couldn’t seem to rid yourself of no matter how many wipes they gave you. It wasn’t the same. 

It’s a comfort, standing under there for as long as you do. Something you’d taken for granted, before. Your mind wanders as you wash your hair, digging your nails into your scalp and savouring in the bubbles that pour down your arms.

You think about Joel.

He swore he’d find you. His voice lingers in the back of your head almost daily, a reoccurring whisper that pushes you forward. He knows you’re in Boston, so it made sense then, that he wouldn’t be in Austin, that they wouldn’t have record of him. But that still doesn’t mean that he made it, that he’s still alive. You know he’s capable, knows how to protect himself. If he’s still with Tommy, they’ll take care of each other, and Sarah. 

You don’t know where they are. You don’t know what path will bring them to you, if any. Cowan��s voice joins the volley in your head.

You will die out there.

You know he’s right. And now…there are people here that are starting to depend on you. Deanna could handle herself, you know that, but it doesn’t mean she should have to. And the kids…

Maybe leaving Boston isn’t the right answer.

Maybe all you can do is hope and pray to whoever’s still listening that Joel makes it, that they get to Boston, that he keeps his promise. It’s a thin thread of hope, you know, and it tugs at your heart all the same, pricking tears in your eyes, and you let them fall, let them mix with the water as it swirls down the drain. 

You can keep hoping, keep praying, keep dreaming, but there are no guarantees, not anymore.

You use up all the hot water, and stay under the spray even when it goes cold. The shock wakes you up, clears your head some, hardens your decision. When you finally push back the curtain, there’s a stack of clothes sitting on the edge of the sink, an army green t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, thick socks. You pull it all on, towel dry your hair, steal some of the lotion on the edge of the sink, coating your hands and rubbing it into your face, your chest, your shoulders. There’s mouthwash on the counter too, and you savour the burn of the mind, the tingling behind your teeth.

The apartment is darker when you step out of the bathroom, more of the lights turned off, and the world outside the windows is a lightening shade of orange, the sun rising in the sky. Cowan stands by the window, a walkie-talkie clipped to the waist of his sweats, arms crossed over his chest. He’s just staring out, his brow hard, jaw set. Only when the floor creaks under your socked feet does he look up, and just stares at you as you cross the floor, joining him by the window.

“Feel better?”

“Best I’ve felt in weeks,” you admit, pushing your fingers through your damp hair. “Given the circumstance.” You feel heat rising in your face, the weight of his gaze almost too much. “Thank you, Cowan, for what you did.”

He reaches out, catches your free hand with his, and you freeze, watching his fingers curl around yours, his thumb rubbing across your knuckles, almost the same as he had in the radio room. “Call me Nick.”

You inhale slightly, feeling the air between you grow thick. You swallow around the lump in your throat, finding you can’t pull your hand from his. You don’t want to.

It’s a comfort.

“I’ll take you back to the fence in the morning,” he says, eyes trained on your linked hands, “if you still want to go.”

“No,” you say, and the word falls so heavily out of your mouth you think for a moment you might topple over. “I…I’m gonna stay. Here. In Boston.”

Cowan’s — Nick’s — eyes lift, and you’re surprised to see the dark shade of blue seems a bit brighter. “Really?”

“You’re right,” you continue, finally pulling your hand from his, tucking your hands against your sides and turning towards the window. “I’d die out there. Who knows if I’d even make it out of the state.”

He huffs a laugh. “I think you’d get that far, at least. But beyond that, it’s anyone’s game.”

You nod slowly. “Besides, there are people here now that…the kids, Deanna, I…I can’t leave.” Nick’s mouth quirks in a grin. “People’d miss me too much.”

The grin widens slightly. “You’re right. They would.”

You avert your eyes, staring out the window instead, at the city below. The building is in the heart of FEDRA’s set up, the ground below crawling with trucks and soldiers. The sky is slowly getting brighter, and you rub at your eyes; you’re exhausted.

“I’d miss you,” Nick says, his voice low, almost hoarse. “Just so you know.”

You turn your head slowly, arms still wrapped around your middle. “Would you?”

“Yeah,” he replies, almost sheepish, still grinning, a blush rising in his cheeks. “My patrols have gotten boring without you.”

Your brow twitches. “You kept your distance.”

“I knew you’d try to make a break for it again,” he says and you suddenly realize the space between you has gotten a little smaller. “Didn’t wanna get attached.”

He’s close. Too close. Close enough that you can feel his breath on your neck, and a shiver wracks through you when his palm lands on the small of your back, fingers tapping against your spine. You let your eyes flutter shut, breath hitching in your chest. Nick bends his neck, lowers his face closer to yours, and you inhale sharply when you feel the brush of his mouth over yours. You freeze.

“I can’t.”

He pulls away instantly, straightening, his cheeks a fiery red now, that same brightness in his eyes. “It’s okay,” he tells you, and puts more space between you again, removing his hand from your back. “Can I ask you something?”

Your curl your fingers in the fabric of the t-shirt, over your ribs. “Yeah.”

“Was it Tommy Miller,” he starts, and your chest prickles, “or Joel?”

“Joel,” you reply, almost instantly, and his name tastes almost sour on your tongue. “It was Joel.”

“You and him…?”

You nod. “Yeah. Me and him.”

“I get it,” he says, and when you finally find it in you to look at him, his face makes you freeze again. “I had someone too. Before.” He shakes his head, and you don’t mis the fact that his eyes are almost glassy. “You’re just…”

You’re not quite sure what makes you do it. Your body is not your own for a moment, thrown off-kilter by the infinite loop of thoughts running through your head. Joel. Your parents. Anna. Tommy. Sarah. Deanna. Henry. Emily. Nick. On and on it goes, making your blood thrum.

“Nick,” you say, simple, short. He lifts his head. You reach out, curl your fingers in the collar of his shirt, and haul him against you, your mouth seeking his. It’s a hot kiss, a desperate one, and when his hand fists at your hip, your blood sings louder.

It’s a comfort.

+

FIVE YEARS LATER

+

You wake up with a start. You fell asleep.

Fuck.

There’s a heavy arm around your waist, blankets tugged up to your chest. You rub the sleep from your eyes, crack your wrist, glance at your watch. Nearly half past six. Shit.

“Fuck,” you whisper out, and push at the arm around you. “Wake up.”

Nick stirs, but only barely, nosing at your shoulder, grumbling against your skin. You push harder, planting a palm against his shoulder and nearly shoving. His eyes are still shut, stupidly long lashes fanning his cheeks, and you kick off the blanket, grabbing your jeans off the floor of his bedroom, immediately standing and pulling them on.

“Get up, Nick,” you say, your voice still thick with sleep, but louder. “We’re late.”

He rolls into the space you’d been occupying, bunching your pillow under his head. “Not me. Switched shifts with McCoy.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky.”

You grab your shirt next, pulling it over your head. Jacket after that, bag looped over your head, gun tucked into the waistband of your jeans. Socks yanked on, feet shoved into boots, laces yanked tight.

“Got some coffee yesterday,” Nick mumbles, face half-buried in the pillow. “That good shit you like.”

“I don’t have time,” you say, stepping out of his reach when he lifts a hand towards you, eyes raking over you. “I wasn’t supposed to stay over. You know that.”

The corner of his mouth quirks. “Best kept secret in the QZ.”

You scoff. “Maybe not the best, but close.”

“Tell Deanna I say hello.”

“Sure.”

His eyes slip closed, and you head out of the bedroom. McCoy’s bedroom door is closed, and you go straight past it, walking towards the living room, the window beyond. You jimmy the lock, slide up the glass, and slip out onto the fire escape.

It took them almost a year to put up the wall. More Infected showed up, drawn to the lights and sounds and smells of the city. They bombed again, heavier the second time, and a few of the buildings toppled, their construction weakened to shit. You watched it from your window. 

They moved the survivors into the low-rise buildings towards the middle of the QZ. FEDRA soldiers took the apartments around the outside. Over time, more people showed up — survivors — and once FEDRA had scanners to find out if someone was infected or not, the numbers grew.

So did the bodies.

The curfew stuck, though people cut it close more often than not. It started with a little slap on the wrist, a stern warning from a soldier, but as time wore on, it got worse. Service fines, ration cuts, nights spent in FEDRA lockup. After a few years, it became public beatings, weeks in lockup instead of days.

You made it a point to learn every route in the city. The bombings from before the wall went up had still left some destruction, and you used it to your advantage. Including a route you discovered went right under the wall, popping you back up right on the other side.

You push the limits. You venture out as far as you dare — always with the bat in hand — and start to sift through the rubble. There are things to be found, stuff that hasn’t been taken yet. Stuff that could be worth something, to the right people.

Shortly after the Baltimore QZ falls, FEDRA revamps their communication. The radio room where you’d learned the fate of your family is abandoned by the soldiers, but the civilians are quick to swoop in and pick at what’s left behind. An older man named Abe, who came to Boston with his family from Rhode Island, takes over. He’s good with the connections, knows how to work the wires from his own time in the army, and starts sending messages for people, in exchange for ration tickets and other things.

Abe likes to smoke, you learn, and you stop by the radio room once a week, every Monday at noon, and in exchange for a pack of cigarettes, he sends a message to each of the remaining QZs, and asks after the Millers. You find a whole carton in an abandoned gas station outside the wall to keep the habit going. Abe also shows you how to use the radio, how to send out the transmissions, and you start finding other people beyond the wall, people that want to trade, people who are just doing the same thing you are. Surviving.

You don’t tell Nick. Not at first.

Things with Nick just…happen. He doesn’t push, neither do you. It’s a lot of sneaking around. He figures out what you’re doing, that you’re going beyond the wall, testing the limits, smuggling things in and out of the border. You know it puts a target on your back, which means Nick can’t be seen with you. If the higher ups in FEDRA knew, they’d take you both out, no questions asked. You time your moves right, using Nick’s patrols to your advantage, occasionally finding things for him to sweeten the deal. Maybe it’s an abuse of power; you know he has feelings, feelings you don’t — can’t — reciprocate, but everything else is just…

It’s a comfort. A warm body. A guilty pleasure, heavy on the guilt.

Every time someone new walks up to the wall, gets shuffled through the gates and processed by the FEDRA system, spat out the other side if they’re clean, disappeared if they’re not, you hope. Every single goddamned time, you hope it’s Joel. Or Tommy. Sarah. Your sister. Someone. It crawls up your throat unbidden; you can’t help it. You’ve stopped asking Nick on the days he works the gate; he just tells it to you straight. “Not today.”

But still, every single time, you hope. Even as months fade into years, and before you know it, half a decade have passed since the outbreak, since the start of what felt like the end. You’re still paying Abe with cigarettes to send your messages, still waiting for the day he tells you he got a response. 

You’re still here, so why can’t they be too?

The sun is just peeking over the edge of the wall as you slip down the fire escape. You really weren’t supposed to stay over with Nick. It’s a bad habit, one you know makes him happy, and part of you wants to give it to him, as some kind of repayment for your own selfishness. Doing it puts you both in harm’s way, but…guilty pleasure.

It’s spring, the snows long melted, grass sprouting between cracks in the sidewalk. You keep your head down as you drop into the alley, boots crunching on the gravel that covers the pavement. You’re forever kicking shards of glass out of the way, picking them from the soles of your shoes.

There are already soldiers out doing the rounds, some perched on street corners, guns close at hand. You pull up the hood of your coat, make sure the back is covering the waist of your jeans, the handgun sticking out. You pull your shirt down too, just to be safe.

It’s a quick trek from the soldiers barracks to the citizens housing. Especially since you have all the shortcuts memorized — FEDRA has blocked off more than a few buildings, for “safety concerns”, but that hasn’t stopped you from finding ways through.

When you moved to the new housing, they gave you your own unit. Deanna stayed with the kids, a few floors up, and you stayed over most nights. Your own place became a cache of sorts, most of the floorboards loose, all manner of goodies you’d found over the years stashed beneath the worn hardwood. The floral-patterned wallpaper was a bit of an eyesore, but you didn’t much care. It was yours.

You stop at your own place first, change your shirt, stash your gun, clean your face. You’d done a deal down in the subway tunnels the day before, and you weren’t fool enough to go unarmed. You only wasted ammo on people; you saved the bat for the Infected.

By the time you make it up to Deanna’s place, you can hear them all awake, having breakfast. Henry’s in a mood, shouting, “I just think it’s stupid!” by way of greeting. Emily jumps up from her chair the moment you’re through the door, running to you and through her arms around your leg.

“Hi, kiddo.”

She just grins in response. After the mall, she hadn’t said a word, and no matter what you or Deanna or the FEDRA doctors did, she wouldn’t. It wasn’t until Henry finally talked about it, months after you’d left the mall, that it started to make sense. She’d been sitting right there, when Tim turned. She’d watched her father kill her mother, right in front of her.

But you’ve always been able to make her smile. It’s something.

Deanna pushes a mug of coffee into your hands as you sink into the kitchen chair besides Henry. Emily takes the seat next to you, returning to her crayons and colouring but still holding your free hand. “What’s stupid?” you ask, sipping the coffee. It’s instant stuff, nasty, but you’ll take whatever caffeine you can get after the night you had.

“Math,” Henry groans, tipping his head back and glowering at you. “Did you have to learn this stuff, when you were in school?”

“I did,” you agree, nodding, reaching out and running your palm over Emily’s head as she focuses on her colouring. “I didn’t like it either.”

Deanna looks over her shoulder at you from where she’s stood at the stove. “Don’t encourage him, please.”

You wink at Henry before pulling the notebook in front of him towards you. “What are you working on? Fractions?”

He nods. “It’s stupid. The world ended, why do I have to learn math?”

You can’t stop yourself from chuckling, sipping your coffee as Deanna makes for the table, handing you a plate of eggs. “World’s not over yet, kid,” she tells Henry, reaching over and pinching his cheek. “We’re still here.”

“That still doesn’t mean I should have to learn math,” he grumbles, but returns to his breakfast, picking up his pencil again.

Emily tugs on your hand, pointing to her picture, and you lean over, grinning at the butterfly she’s drawn, the page loud with colour. “Pretty!” She slides the paper for you and you gasp. “For me?” She nods, grinning broadly, and you lean over and kiss her cheek. “Thank you, sweet pea.”

Deanna glances between the kids, waiting until they’re too engrossed in their fractions and crayons to listen to either of you. “All clear?” she asks, peering at you over the rim of her coffee cup.

“No issues,” you reply, sipping your coffee again and setting the mug in front of you. “Subway’s still empty. I gotta make a run through the museum next week; guys from Providence are bringing the good stuff.”

“Pills and bullets?”

“Bullets and pills,” you agree, pushing a hand through your hair. “Nick says hello.”

Deanna’s eyes go hard for a fraction of a second. She’s never really approved of your…situation with Nick, especially not after you started the smuggling. Yes, it benefited the civilians in the QZ, but you traded with some of the FEDRA soldiers too, in exchange for ration cards, medicine, whatever they had to offer. It made the target bigger, and she didn’t like the idea of you in the line of fire — though she knew she couldn’t stop you. Dragging Nick in with you just made it worse, in her eyes.

She ignores it, setting her mug on the table too. “You working today?”

You nod. “Food bank. Full day, pays well. I’ll bring you some cards tonight.”

“Good,” she agrees, nodding. “I need you to go by the pharmacy, if you can. Math genius over here needs a new inhaler.” She juts her chin towards Henry, and he glares at her, earning a laugh from the older woman as she pinches his cheek again.

You down the rest of the coffee, wincing when you get to the dregs and the remnants grit your teeth. “Orange or blue?”

“One of each, if they’ve got ‘em,” she answers, rubbing at her brow. “I asked when I was in the clinic the other day. They said they didn’t have any, but I call bullshit. Heard the other nurses say they got fresh shipments in earlier in the week. No way they got through it that fast.”

“Or traded it all away,” you say, getting to your feet. You cross the kitchen, put your mug in the sink. 

“Either way, you know how to work those assholes behind the counter. They see me coming and they try to charge me double.”

“I’ll get it done.”

Deanna gets out of her chair, comes and stands beside you at the sink. She puts her own mug down, flicks on the water. The pipes rattle. “I know you will, honey.” Her face pinches. “See if you can find something good, for the kids? Em’s having a rough go. That’s the first smile I’ve seen in days.”

You nod, repeating yourself with a hand on Deanna’s shoulder. “I’ll get it done.”

The day goes mostly normal.

You work the first half of your shift at the food bank before one of Abe’s sons comes looking for you. You cut your shift short, take what cards you’ve earned, and head for the radio room. Abe’s busy with someone when you walk inside, but slides a notepad towards you, words scrawled in red ink.

Providence - museum - TODAY.

“Fuckers,” you grumble, but take the note, nod in thanks to Abe and make a mental note to find a new carton of cigarettes while you’re out. You stuff the paper in your pocket, heading to the pharmacy next. You recognize the soldiers behind the counter; you’ve traded with both of them before. “I need two inhalers.”

Like Deanna said, they try to charge you double the number of cards you know to be the price, but you’re not about to let that fly.

“You kidding?”

One of them puts a hand on the pistol strapped to her thigh. “We don’t make the rules.”

You scoff. “The fuck you don’t. They’re for a ten-year-old orphan. You should be giving them to me for free.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel bad?”

“You should feel bad,” you throw back, leaning on the counter, giving her a hard stare. “You should also remember that I have dirt on you, Angie. So I’d watch your mouth before you try to screw me any harder. I’ll pay half. That’s it.”

Her throat bobs, and the other soldier stares at her expectantly. She slides the inhalers across the counter. “Half.”

You pull the cards out of your pocket, toss them towards her. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

You stash the inhalers in your bag and leave before they can give you any more shit.

The trade with the guys from Providence goes off without a hitch. Few bottles of pills, couple baggies of something…stronger, and an array of ammunition. In exchange, you give them first aid supplies, rations that’ll actually last on the road, a few books they’d requested specifically, vegetable seeds, and to sweeten the deal just a tad, a few porno mags, of…varying appetites.

You do some scavenging while you’re out, having traded your handgun for the baseball bat. The leather around the handle has frayed over the years, and you’ve wrapped it up with tape. You still wipe it down when you can, keep it by your bedside every night.

Your bag is full by the time you’re headed back for the QZ; you hit the jackpot in one of the little boutique shops near the museum. A bunch of knickknacks you’re sure someone will appreciate, yarn for Deanna, and for the kiddos: board games.

It’s cutting it close, when you make your way back. You have both McCoy and Nick’s patrol routes memorized, and as per usual, you time it right, taking a path that leads right from the top of the wall and through the top level of one of the closed-off buildings. He’s standing on the pavement when you slide down the ladder into the alleyway, boots splashing in the rainwater. He keeps his back to you, gun brandished in that casual way only FEDRA soldiers can. You pull up the hood of your jacket, wipe the rain from your cheeks as it pelts down on you.

Nick doesn’t look at you as you walk out of the alley, pausing on the sidewalk beside him. You don’t chance a glance at him, bending to retie one of your laces. “You good?” he asks under his breath.

You just nod, disguising it as a nonchalant look across the street. “Yep.”

“Deanna’s looking for you,” he says, still not glancing at you, keeping a good few feet between you two. “Sounded urgent.”

That grabs your attention, and you turn to face him. “Are the kids okay?”

“Yeah, they’re fine,” he answers, his tone going softer. “She came by about an hour ago, asked if I had seen you, said to tell you to find her once you got back. Wouldn’t tell me what it was.”

Your brow crinkles, and you nod. “Thanks.”

You feel uneasy as you turn on your heel, heading in the direction of your building. The sky is an unkind shade of grey, the rain soaking quickly through your jacket, wetting your hair beneath your hood. It’s sticking to the back of your neck by the time you get inside, and you push your hood back, wiping the droplets from your face as you head for the stairs. You head straight for Deanna’s, your bag feeling heavier on your shoulders with every step.

Your heart jumps into your throat when you approach the door, hearing voices from the other side. The doorknob feels unusually cold in your grip, and when you push it open, you nearly crumble onto Deanna’s kitchen floor.

Tommy Miller is sitting at her table, those big brown eyes instantly shiny with tears when he sees you standing in the doorway. 

He leaps out of his chair and crosses to the door, pulling you into the same kind of bear hug he’d once cornered you with in your parents’ hardware store. You can’t stop the gasp that falls out of you, followed immediately by tears, and hug him back hard, curling your fingers in his flannel shirt, holding him tightly to you. “Tommy?” you breathe out, half convinced this isn’t real, that you’re dreaming. Please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up, please don’t—

“You have no idea how good it is to see you, darlin’,” he says softly, the smile evident in his voice. You’re shaking, your eyes squeezed tight, just holding him to you. If Tommy’s here, then that could mean…

You cut the thought short, pulling back enough that you can look at him. He’s the same as you remember, if not a little worn at the edges, but you have no doubt you look the same to him. His hair’s a little longer, facial hair that suits him well long his jaw and upper lip. He looks…intact. Alive.

“What are you…?” you breathe out, almost choking on the questions. “How did you…?”

He cups your cheek his his big palm, giving you a smile that makes everything in you twist tight with happiness. “Heard a rumour Boston was letting veterans into the QZ, thought we’d take the chance.” His grin widens. “It worked out.”

Your mind snags on the we. “You…?” You nearly stumble back a step, held in place only by him. Your heart sinks into your stomach, your breath hitching. “Tommy, is he—”

“He is,” Tommy nods, the movement almost furious. “Joel’s alive.”

PREV | NEXT

[rashomonss]

Heartbreak Hours

Guess what, It’s angst time!

I’m happy to present a new series to y’all. Heartbreak hours will be small angst one shots of each obey me character

I’m starting with the brothers, then I’ll do the dateables, and possibly the side characters

I’ll put each of these one shots on my masterlist once they’re done to give y’all the chance to read all of them

- other parts

Like always enjoy! <3

How many times had it been? You thought, at this point who’s counting. Looking at the bright screen on your phone you refreshed yours and Lucifer’s chat, hoping, wishing even that the status would change from delivered to read.

Sighing you put it down, and looked at the empty seat across from you. You had taken your time getting ready today in hopes to show your boyfriend once he arrived. You spent extra time in the shower, and fixed your hair to look almost perfect and put on your best attire in his favorite color in hopes to match.

But he never showed.

Your date was scheduled at Ristorante Six for 7:00pm on the dot. Lucifer had made sure to remind you not to be late, how ironic. Currently it was 8:24 and you had brushed the waiter off for the last time.

You ordered you favorite dish and drank a whole bottle of demonus in the span of an hour. After all Lucifer had pre-paid for the dinner so why not enjoy yourself.

You headed home and opened the door to the House of Lamentation greeting Levi and Mammon who were currently fighting in the common room. You decided to head over to his office before heading to bed.

Honestly the walk to his office was dreadful, you were upset like usual, because this wasn’t the first time he stood you up like this. But you were also sad, because in actuality he was your boyfriend, and he promised to always be there no matter what. Some promise you laughed.

You knocked on the door waiting for a response. When it didn’t come you knocked a bit harder, finally hearing a faint “come in”

As you walked through the door Lucifer’s eyes never met yours, instead they remained glue to the document he was signing. “What is it?” He asked flipping the paper over.

“Luci” you said softly.

The Avatar of Pride’s head shot up at the sound of your voice, and he managed a small smile, then proceeded to look you up and down. “You look quite gorgeous love” he added.

Your heart swelled at his words, but it also stung. He always does this. Lucifer was never one to apologize, if he did it was very rare, perhaps his pride wouldn’t allow it, but he’d never really admit if he was in the wrong. Instead he would butter you up and promise to make it up to you at a later date. However you began to grow tired of that excuse. How long will it be until you both could have an actual date?

“Thanks” you responded.

He managed a small smile and turned his head to the side “So, what’s the occasion?”

“Our date. Well the date we were supposed to have today.” You blurted out.

His face turned to one of surprise and immediate confusion. “That was supposed to be tomorrow dear?”

“Lucifer, it’s the 23rd”

He narrowed his eyes and turned on his D.D.D, and low and behold just as you said it was the 23rd not the 22nd like he had thought. He scanned the screen for a reminder and he found it as soon as he unlocked the phone.

He also looked though the 10 texts you sent him within the past hour and a half.

Mc: I’m here Luci!

Mc: They just sat me at the table, let me know when you’re here ok!

Mc: Hey it’s been 20 minutes are you ok?

Mc: Are you on your way? The waiter keeps asking for my order but I feel bad asking him to wait for so long T-T

Mc: Luci??

Mc: Are you coming?

Mc: Lucifer it’s been an hour.

Mc: did you forget again.

Mc: I’m going to eat it’s 8:40 and I’m hungry

Mc: I’m heading home

He looked up at you apologetically and got up from his chair. “Mc, I’m sorry I got caught up in work. I promise I’ll make it up to you, how about next week?”

“Don’t bother” you said quietly.

“What did you say?” Lucifer asked leaning closer since he couldn’t make out what you said.

“I said it’s fine Lucifer, don’t bother. It’s not that big of a deal” you said not facing the demon in front of you.

He was a bit taken back by your attitude, but instead of reassuring you he decided to continue to poke at the topic. “Well you’re making it seem like a big deal” he replied raising an eyebrow.

You widened your eyes for a second before responding. “You know what it is a big deal. Because when was the last time you followed through with your own promises huh?”

Maybe it was the large amount of stress he was under but for some reason Lucifer found himself more annoyed than usual. “Mc I always stick to my word, now please stop you’re acting childish”

“Childish? Excuse me? How in anyway is this considered childish” you said raising your voice.

“Calm down, you’re being a bit dramatic” Lucifer sighed

"Dramatic? You have the audacity to call me dramatic when you just stood me up. Do you know how embarrassed I was sitting there alone waiting for you? The constant gazes from all those demons wasn't something that I could so easily brush off you know”

Lucifer's gaze softened and he paused for a second, as if looking for the right words to say. “I apologize Mc, but you must understand how busy I am. My position does carry much weight, and I have to do my best to uphold Diavolo's name."

"Oh Diavolo this Diavolo that, honestly I don't care. You're not the only one who has to represent him you know? I have to as well" you spat.

"Yes but your job is much smaller, please understand I didn't mean to do this on purpose"

"You used that last time you know?"

"What..?" Lucifer questioned.

"What you said just now, about forgetting our date. You told me that last week right after you stood me up again. You told me you didn't mean it, and you'd make it up to me. But here we are"

"I don't recall ever telling you that," Lucifer said.

"Yeah you don't but I do. This is the fourth time we've pushed back this dinner date because you forgot. Luci I love you but this is getting old, I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean I need attention. When was the last time we hung out, just the two of us? Not while you were working or while we’ve been with your brothers, just US. I miss you Luci, I miss the affection you gave me, now it just feels one sided. You're always busy, and you always have stuff to do so you constantly push me to the side. I haven’t minded because I understand you have a lot on your plate, but would it hurt to just put a bit more effort into our relationship”

“Mc you have to understand-” Lucifer started.

“No, you have to understand!” You yelled cutting him off.

“Mc, calm down, you're being irrational”

“Because you’re not listening!”

“I am listening to you, but what would you like me to do about it? I can’t simply push my responsibilities to the side because you want some fairytale relationship.” Lucifer said, raising his voice slightly.

“That’s not what I said! Listen! I want a relationship were both of us are giving effort not just me”

“Mc stop being so selfish, do you realize how much I give up and do for you?”

“Apparently not enough because here we are”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and pressed two fingers to his temple. “Mc I don’t want to do this with you right now I don’t have the energy”

“Oh there you go again, Lucifer I can't take this anymore you’re insufferable” you said throwing your hands up.

Maybe it was the tone you said that, or maybe it was the lack of sleep consuming his conscience but the next words out of Lucifer’s mouth were ones he didn’t want to claim as his own.

“Well if you can’t take it anymore, and I bother you that much then leave”

“What..?”

“You heard me. Leave”

“Lucifer-”

“Were done Mc. This conversation is over and so is our relationship. Now would you kindly see yourself out, I have work to finish”

He hadn’t looked at you since he held his face, so once he let go to meet your gaze his heart shattered. There you stood baffled, mouth hanging slightly open and tears falling from your beautiful eyes.

Those eyes he adored. The ones that were so expressive when he was with you. That was always one feature Lucifer loved. Even if you liked them or not he adored them. Whether they were simple or filled with many colors he loved them. The eyes that would shyly meet his gaze or linger on his figure for a second or two; those beautiful eyes now filled with tears.

Hot, big tears streamed down your face. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to stop, and it only got worse when he looked concerned and stepped closer.

“Mc, I didn’t mean-”

You didn’t let him finish, you just ran out of his office in tears. Not wanting to see his face again. You felt hurt, betrayed, and disappointed. But a small part of you didn’t feel that disappointed, because deep, deep down you knew this was inevitable. After all, he was too prideful to care about anything besides his image.

And he solidified it when he never went after you to apologize. Instead he went back to his desk and drowned himself in continuous work. Maybe this was all a bad dream and he was really just hallucinating due to the lack of sleep.

Right it had to be? Lucifer thought holding his head in his hands.

[azulsluver]

I saw ur requests were open and I'd like to see your thoughts on a masochist! Reader for bully au, what characters are most likely to enjoy it, those who dislike it, those who just bully them more for being 'weird', etc

（*＾ワ＾*）please and thank you!

(Sorry if this goes against ur guide lines or if you've already had an ask like this (^. .^) )

I’ll feed y’all :3 I have no words but I shouldn't be surprised people are into this..reactions are short bellow.

tw. yandere, bully!characters, dubcon relationships, mentions of bruises/blood/scars.

Those who are into it:

Ace

Brings out a whole new meaning of hurting you till you like it. Turns him on weirdly enough, you’re so willing to him that he finds it cute. Feeds into his delusions that you like him back.

Deuce

That must mean you like him back! He's so happy you're seeing things his way, now he can provide your needs as you do his. However I do see him holding back on the hurting you part, you love him so he'll try his best not to permanently scar you.

Leona

You’re finally learning your place. I guess he was trying to drill that type of reaction out of you. But you seem to really like it when the heel of his foot crushes your windpipe. Gurgling with a needy whimper.

Jade

He likes it, a lot. Your expressions to your reactions. You do as he pleases when hurt, actively trying to get away but can’t help your sick desire to be cut open. Viewed and manhandled like some object.

Idia

Filling up his wildest fantasies. He’s practically drooling over your tearful eyed face, but you’re clearly into it. Gives him an ego boost and makes him 10x an asshole. Slut shames you for being so shameful, have you no respect?

Lilia

This is surprising. Lilia has dealt with many people who enjoy getting harmed over the littlest of things. You like getting your hair pulled? Litters of marks and bruises over your body? How far can you go?

Trey

He’s held back, this brings out his more sadistic tendencies now that he understands what he’s getting in to. You want it to hurt, and he can provide that. Because you’re providing him a free stress ball, something he can use without worrying it’ll run away.

Cater

That’s cute. Super cute. At first his instinct was to belittle you for liking it. But he’s getting the bigger picture. You love it, you love how much he hurts you and your little feelings. And he so too grows on it.

Ruggie

Less trouble. Makes more fun for your little secret relationship. You’re the perfect thing for Ruggie to relieve on without grudgingly saying no. Because you want him to mount you and tear open the scars on your thighs.

Rook

You’ve never seen Rook this happy. He’s testing out all the ways to get a reaction out of you, the camera clicking on your sweaty and ruined face. He’s sure to break your body and rebuild it once again.

Those who dislike it:

Floyd

Why? Floyd expected a crying and shriveling response, but you’re blushing and desperate under his shoe. It’s cute, sure, but he wants a raw reaction of pain. You’re not giving him what he wants and it’s annoying.

Jamil

Like Floyd he expected you to beg for him to stop. Not moan and beg for more. He’s not purely against it but it ruins his fantasy to hurt the innocent that’s in front of him.

Sebek

Disgusting. Sneering, have you no shame, remorse or dignity left? Sebek bullies you to break you down, not have the pleasure to satisfy your need of pain. Go find someone else for that.

Jack

Confused. You’re showing him another reason on why he shouldn’t help you at this point. Why love getting hurt? Finds it degrading on your end.

Azul

What normal person enjoys having their confidence and ego stripped just to get their back stepped on? Like Jack he thinks you’re embarrassing for stooping this low. Honestly you deserve whatever plans they have for you.

Epel

Not what he was expecting. Pisses him off because he doesn’t want you to enjoy it. You’re supposed to not like it, it feels insulting to him and makes him throw more of a fit.

Vil

Have some class. People are watching and you’re easily letting yourself go just by a slap. He might not like it but he will continue to harm you. Don’t you like it? So don’t stop him when he’s bashing your head on the table.

Those who are unsure:

Kalim

Conflicted if he should enjoy the fact you're returning his love or that it's another way to get out of punishment. You being a masochist amuses him yet there's a gut feeling that he's all too eager to please. This relationship might actually work well with, there is no other reason to brutal hurt you when you're being so good.

Malleus

Did he do something wrong to get this reaction? Not expecting it, so it’s all new. Malleus would somewhat continue to berate you only because you beg for more. Who knows, maybe he’ll get the idea and feed into your desires.

Riddle

I feel like this would genuinely stop Riddle from bullying you. He doesn’t like it but not against it? He’s unsure of himself. Personally think his behavior is ok because he’s teaching you a lesson but you enjoy it…

Silver

Help this poor man. Explaining to him that you want him to physically harm you would freak him out. Probably runs away from you.