#i’d say that was one of the healthiest times my mind has been

[miraku39]

🥺🥺🥺

[theriu]

Interpreting Bilbo’s Speech

As an editor whose job requires the ability to untangle confusing sentences, I maintain that Bilbo’s speech at his 111th birthday party was actually genuine and complimentary. Let’s break this down.

“Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." 

“I don’t know half of you as well as I should like” can be translated as “Half of you are people I don’t know as well as I wish I did. I wish I knew you at least half again as much as I do.” Literally, “I wish I’d gotten to know you better.”

“I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” He may not have a deep affection for this less-than-50% of the party-goers, but he acknowledges that they deserve twice as much respect and appreciation as what he gave them during their acquaintance. Literally, “I know there’s more to be appreciated about you than I knew of or that I am capable of appreciating.”

Note: Since he clearly knows THIS half well enough to know they deserve more of his respect and affection than what he gave them, we are probably safe to presume that they are the opposite half from the first group, who he wishes he had gotten to know better. (Although there is probably some crossover). (This part gets into Math a little bit, which is NOT my specialty as an editor.)

So, if we take his first sentence literally—“Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits”—then the whole statement is actually quite genuine. For all his grumbling and muttering about his various neighbors’ and relations’ failings or annoyances, Bilbo really does respect and admire many of them, and he is wise enough to know that there’s more to appreciate in the people he doesn’t care for or didn’t know well than he has managed to discover in his short lifetime with them.

But of course this is Bilbo, so he wrapped it up in a mind-bending riddle and left everyone wondering if they’d been insulted before he abruptly vanished, leaving the party in chaos.

In conclusion: Bilbo’s way of handling the awkwardness of being sincere to a large group of people involves tying his compliments into a knot and then running away forever while they’re distracted untangling it.

I’m not saying this is the healthiest way of dealing with the mortifying ordeal of being known, but it does feel very Bilbo.

[waitmyturtles]

HERE WE GO: Thai QL Favorites Tag Game! Thanks to @telomeke, @lurkingshan, and @kattahj for the tags!

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy, with a close second going to Until We Meet Again. My valuation here is -- what show do I think about the MOST on a daily basis? In every other show I watch, I’m thinking of Bad Buddy, and how BBS did x, y, and z differently. Still to me one of the most brilliant overall dramas I’ve ever watched, so mind-blowingly layered, and to me, BBS serves as a love letter and an honoring to the traumas that Asian children face as their parents grow, painfully, out of their own traumas.

Favorite Pairing: I’m going to assume pairings refers to the fictional ships, so: PatPran, obviously, with DeanPharm, BunTan, TeeFuse, and FrameBook in close running! Honorable mention to ThunMed, but Med is a ghost, sooooo, yeah, is object permanence a requirement in ships?! 

Most underrated actor: I’m adding to @telomeke and @pandasmagorica‘s pitch for Gawin Caskey. I know I have yet to see him in Not Me, but he was fabulous in Dark Blue Kiss.... and he is TEARING IT UP in Be My Favorite. There is not one hiccup with this man’s acting. He and Krist are CARRYING BMF to fabulous results. Honorable mention to my fave, Nammon Krittanai, who held down in SOTUS S and ATOTS, and he’s gonna be in The Rebound with Frank Thanatsaran, so we’ll see how that goes!

Favorite Character: Haaaaaa. OMG. I have so many. Honestly... for this very moment, I’d have to say Pharm from UWMA. I know his blushing maiden approach turned off a lot of folks, but Pharm just gave us EVERYTHING by way of demonstrating ALL of his emotions at his entire situation in holding Intouch’s spirit within him and negotiating his future with Dean. Pharm may have been a blushing maiden, but he also held his own, stood up for himself with the temporary break, and found his true love on his own, independently, in the end. I absolutely loved Pharm’s trajectory. 

Favorite Side Character: Oh no, also too many to list! I love that @telomeke mentioned Yihwa from Together With Me, but for me, I think tied for my tops in this category, would be Thun’s mom in He’s Coming To Me, and Pete’s dad in Dark Blue Kiss. The very, very best BL parents.

Favorite scene in a QL: Thun’s coming out scene on the rooftop in He’s Coming To Me/episode 5. I float when I think of Ohm Pawat’s acting in that moment.

Favorite line in a QL: This is a good one. For pure sessyness, I like what Ae says to Pete in the thin-walled dorm room in Love By Chance, and what Sarawat says to Tine at the end of Still 2gether. 

But I think I like what Dean says to Pharm in... I think it’s episode 6 in UWMA. “Who taught you to say something like this?” Gives me the shivers.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends, of course, with 23.5 and Dangerous Romance in close seconds. (If this were NOT a Thai list, I would say the second season of What Did You Eat Yesterday?, because I’m planning to LOSE MY MIND OVER THAT, lol.)

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Are we talking romantic relationships?! Because Thun and Thun’s mom in HCTM, and Pete and Pete’s dad in DBK definitely count, ha. As far as couplings go? I might actually argue for Uea and King in Bed Friend! They went through SO MUCH to get to where they were at the end of that show. SO MUCH. And King just LED in such a positive and healthy way, listening to every one of Uea’s needs and responding to them. They are a fabulous couple. I’ll give them their flowers for ending in such a healthy and open place! 

Most toxic relationship in a QL: TharnType, and that’s all I’ll say about that.

Guilty pleasure series: Ooooooh. I don’t think I can answer this, because I don’t think I’ve watched enough Thai QLs out of the context of the Old GMMTV Challenge to have watched a series PURELY for pulpy goodness. I think I need more familiarity with the genre by way of quantity to fully answer this!

Most underrated series: I agree with @telomeke. HE’S COMING TO ME. A show that was WAY before its time, and did not get its flowers, publicly, by GMMTV or the 2019 fandoms. The writing and acting on this show was SPECTACULAR. I will beat this drum forever: anyone who calls themselves a QL fan MUST watch this show for the standards it set in acting, in writing, and in message delivery. Utterly stunning.

Gonna tag some of the usual suspects of the OGMMTVC in here, as well as new friends I’ve made through Be My Favorite! @absolutebl, @solitaryandwandering, @nieves-de-sugui, @clairificusrex, @manogirl, @telomeke, @so-much-yet-to-learn, @twig-tea, @crowie, @chickenstrangers, @grapejuicegay, @dribs-and-drabbles, @miscellar, @aliceisathome, @rocketturtle4, and anyone else, feel free to jump in!

[archiveofkloss]

There is no question that Karlie Kloss is the ultimate achiever. Known for her work as a supermodel, you may be surprised to learn that Kloss is also an entrepreneur, philanthropist, and mom. And now she can add “Thorne partner” to her resume as the face of our latest global brand campaign, Find Your Way.

Kloss took some time out of her busy schedule to sit down with our team and share a bit about why she loves the brand and what the Find Your Way message means to her.

1. Thanks for taking the time, Karlie! How were you first introduced to Thorne and why do you trust us?

Certainly! I first heard about Thorne from my nutritionist and was drawn to the brand’s meticulous focus on clean, high-quality ingredients. Thorne’s dedication to quality and science is why I trust them. Their process is super transparent, which gives me peace of mind that I’m properly fueling my body.

2. What does the “Find Your Way” message mean to you and how do you embody that in your everyday life? 

For me, it’s about staying curious, finding your own personal way to the healthiest and most meaningful life possible. It’s very authentic to the way I live my life because I’m constantly having to balance my variety of interests and aspirations with my daily health regimen, and overall busy lifestyle.

A lot of people know me for starting my career in fashion as a young girl, but modeling is just one facet of my career – my path has never been linear.

I went back to school, learned to code, and started Kode With Klossy, an organization to teach other young women and gender expansive youth how to code. I also consider myself an athlete. But my most important job is being a mom to my two young boys.

3. What are your favorite Thorne products?

My favorite Thorne products are PharmaGABA-100 to support better sleep, Magnesium CitraMate for overall wellness, and Vitamin C for immune support. I also love Memoractiv for brain health support and the Basic B Complex for enhancing energy. These have all made a big difference in supporting my healthy routine.

4. You love fitness! Can you talk about your passion for movement and how you found it?

It started at a young age with ballet. Ballet taught me the importance of discipline and strength. Over the years, I’ve explored various forms of exercise, from running and cycling to yoga and Pilates. Each activity offers something unique, whether it’s the meditative quality of yoga or the adrenaline rush from a run. Movement is a vital part of my life, helping me stay centered and energized.

5. You also love food! How has your approach to nutrition evolved over your lifetime?

It’s definitely changed! Growing up in the Midwest, I learned to love food from an early age and still love to indulge now. But it’s all about balance, maintaining a healthy relationship with food, and understanding what makes me feel my best. 

As I have gotten older, and through my pregnancies, my relationship to my body and focus on overall wellness has become a lot more holistic. It’s not about fitting into a certain size; it’s about taking care of my body from the inside out so I can keep up with my busy life! 

6. What exercise and nutrition advice do you have for busy readers?

People are always asking me how to manage a busy lifestyle. I’d say finding a routine that works with your schedule is key. Even quick workouts can make a big difference! I try to aim for consistency over perfection.

When it comes to nutrition, I recommend focusing on foods that are packed with nutrients and give you lasting energy throughout the day. And don’t beat yourself up when you indulge – enjoy what you love!

7. You’ve mentioned that you are oddly competitive with yourself about rest! Can you talk about the importance of sleep?

Throughout my teens and twenties, between school, work, traveling, late nights, and early mornings, to try and squeeze in everything I needed to – the thing I would always compromise on if needed would be my sleep.

Something changed during the pandemic when I stopped constantly working and traveling, and actually prioritized my rest. It was life changing. I have found it has helped improve my skin quality, my mood, my energy... I felt like I was suddenly more present in every aspect of my life – my work, my work outs, my relationships. It was a major wake up for me.

So now, I keep track of my sleep patterns and try to stay consistent, even when things get busy. Quality rest helps me do better in every part of my life.

8. People appreciate the importance of fueling for sports performance but fueling for mentally-taxing exercises (for example, coding) seems to fly a bit more under the radar. Can you talk about the importance of getting the nutrients you need to support your creative endeavors?

Research shows that our brains consume around 20 percent of our metabolic energy, so the idea of “brain food” is real! Nutrition and oxygen are crucial for optimal cognitive function, so I focus on foods rich in omega-3s and antioxidants. It's easy to say and harder to do, but staying hydrated, eating balanced meals, and limiting my sugar and caffeine intake help my concentration and creativity.

9. What other wellness topics or facts do you “geek out” over?

I'm a deep believer in the impact mindfulness exercises like meditation and yoga can have on your wellbeing. I'm fascinated by the science of nutrition and how different foods affect our organ function, our cellular health, and overall energy and mood. I'm also very interested in sustainable living and how it connects with personal health.

10. What insights or tips do you have for readers who want to exercise their mind? 

Exercising your mental muscles is just as important as going to the gym! When I have some downtime, I love to read, and I always set aside time every day for meditation, one of my favorite mindfulness exercises.

I’m also working on learning Spanish with my kids. I’m almost fluent in French, so that’s something I wanted them to start learning while they are young so they can use it for a lifetime.

[blatantlackofdecorum]

Constance and Ocean Headcanon’s

Author’s Note: Sorry I stopped posting the daily head-canons and blurbs, I got in a car wreck on Friday, with my mom and everything’s kinda been a blur since,  Not that I stopped thinking about rtc for a second of these past few days. Specifically these two.

Sorry Jane, I’ll write more about you soon. 

- OKAY FIRST OF ALL THESE GIRLS HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE ELEMENTARY. On the first day Constance brought cupcakes for the class, and Ocean of course was the first to offer to pass them out.  -They quickly became bff’s.  - Not the healthiest relationship, but as they start to grow it evens out a bit. (Sometimes all it takes is a punch to the boob)  It has good bones I promise  - Regardless, they grow up with each other. Very “Hey! I’m the only one who can speak over her.” Energy. Ocean would not hesitate to annihilate anyone who tried to make a fool out of Constance. Whether it be excitedly telling a teacher or correcting them herself, it got more and more passive aggressive as the two grew.  - In a way Constance became the only person who could tolerate Ocean’s attitude and personality. She was always there to help when Ocean fell, whether it be pushing herself too hard or needing a place to stay, Constance was always by her side.  - Ocean tries her hardest to tolerate her living situation, but Constance’s door is always open. There have been quite a few times Ocean’s shown up at her doorstep. The Blackwood’s have never had anything other than open arms for her.  - Both of Constance’s parents are insanely good cooks, they usually pack Constance’s lunch for school, but since middle school have packed an extra one for Ocean.  - Ocean also has her own drawer in Constance’s dresser.  -Ocean might be the worlds best tutor, as much as she’d never outright say it, she simplifies stuff a lot in her head, and so explaining it is pretty easy.  -Lots of study sessions with snacks, a surprisingly quiet and calm learning style  - Constance is definitely a fandom girlie, (I’m glad we all agreed on that) and you know what came out in 2008? I think you know. Constance adores the original Twilight. They watch it whenever she’s had a bad day. Ocean refuses to admit she likes it, but she still critiques the plot and characters decisions the entire time it’s on.  - You can’t tell me Constance doesn’t have a giant tote bag she carries her stuff in. (Which is quite a lot) She also carries Ocean’s inhaler because the two of them are usually together.  - They have tons of codewords for things, they started using them in middle school but they still default to them when they need the other to figure something out quickly. They use them when they text, and the rest of the choir absolutely despises it  - Constance was actually the one who got Ocean into the choir in the first place after she joined, Ocean excelled at it, and it really helped her take her mind off of everything outside of the choir room for a little bit. It helped her cope.  - It might be cheesy but Constance spent a lot of her life with Ocean taking the lead on things, and while that still proved to be the case, she got to see her actually enjoy something she was doing. Not to mention it was the first time that she got to be right there with her when she did it, not in the audience cheering her on. 

Mini Playlist that reminds me of the two of them 

- To Love A Boy By Maya Hawke - Ribs By Lorde - If I’m Being Honest By Dodie - I Like Giants By Kimya Dawson 

(I have no clue how this is gonna be received but i’m planning to post more about that oc I’d posted, soon maybe even some self indulgent oc x canon stuff,)

[robsth0r]

A Bad Habit From The 40s (Platonic!Stucky x Reader)

A/N: So this is actually based off of my DR self and something I could see happening in my DR so for some baground Y/n has an expanded time of living just like Thor or Loki and therefore was in WW2 when that happened back in the 1940s. Y/n might be 1000 years old but Y/n still looks like a teenager/young adult.

Warning: Smoking (cigarettes), WW2 (mentioned).

Word count: 413

I leaned against the wall of the Avengers' compound, cigarette in hand, taking a long drag. I exhaled slowly, watching the smoke rise up into the sky. Smoking had been a habit I picked up during the war, and I’d been doing it ever since. I knew it wasn't the healthiest thing to do, but at this point, it was a part of me.

As I stood there, lost in thought, I heard footsteps approaching. It was Bucky, another soldier from the war and someone who had picked up the same habit. We had bonded back in the 40s about lots of things, one of them being our love of smoking.

"Hey," Bucky said, pulling out a cigarette of his own. "Mind if I join you?"

I grinned, holding out my lighter. "Not at all, old man."

We stood there for a while, smoking in comfortable silence. But our peace was short-lived when Steve, also a fellow soldier from the war and the current leader of the Avengers, appeared out of nowhere.

"What are you two doing?" Steve asked, looking disapprovingly at the cigarettes in our hands.

"Smoking," I replied simply.

Steve's expression darkened. "You know better than to smoke. It's not good for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know. But I've been doing it for a long time now, Steve. It's not like I'm going to stop anytime soon."

Steve turned his attention to Bucky. "And what about you, Buck?"

Bucky shrugged. "What Y/n said. We've been doing this for a long time."

Steve sighed. "I just don't like it. Smoking is a bad habit and it's not good for your health."

I raised an eyebrow. "And yet you never say anything to Bucky when he smokes."

"Bucky is a grown man," Steve replied, his tone sharp. "He can make his own decisions."

I scoffed. "I'm an immortal god who has been on this earth for more than a thousand years. I think I can make my own decisions too."

Steve shook his head. "That's not the point, Y/n. I care about your health and I don't want to see you get sick."

I took another drag from my cigarette, blowing the smoke in Steve's direction. "Thanks for your concern, Steve. But I think I'll take my chances."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away, Bucky following close behind. We both knew that Steve meant well, but we were both adults who could make our own decisions.

[bunposting]

hi! i’ve been scrolling through your blog and wanted to say that i really appreciate all the stiff you’ve posted. i really love rabbits and have wanted a pet rabbit for a long time. initially i was following HRS guidelines because i genuinely believed that it would give my future rabbit the best, happiest life, but i’m learning through breeders that that’s not necessarily the case. i saw you mentioned in a post that some HRS guidelines can actually be actively dangerous to rabbits. can i ask what those are, and why? (if you have a tag that’s for questions like these i’d be happy to read through that!) i really, really love animals and want any pet i have to have the best, healthiest, most comfortable life i can provide, and i would really hate to harm my rabbit in the process of trying to give them that. i don’t own any rabbits at this time so it’s not a matter of immediate concern - i frankly have too many cats and too little time to dedicate to a bunny right now, but in the future i’d really like to keep a pet rabbit. thanks for reading! i hope you’re having a good day. :)

Thanks for reaching out anon! If you want, I've made an excessively long post a while ago about the subject here. To kinda summarize, HRS bases a lot of their standards on what might look best and emotionally feel best, as opposed to what is actually appropriate for rabbits. They make the care of rabbits seem unreasonably complicated and arduous as a way to try to steer people away from keeping rabbits as pets.

One of the biggest issues is the diet they recommend.

Imagine if the largest/wealthiest dog advocacy organization tried to say that dogs absolutely need to be fed a varied, raw food diet, and if you don't feed them that, then that's abuse and your dog's guts are going to spontaneously stop working. We know a raw diet for dogs can be great, but the problem is that it means the owner of the dog has to do a lot of research into the exact nutritional content of various things, the nutritional requirement of their specific dog, and all the math that goes into it - not to mention they have to have the money to be able to buy all those things or the time to grow/harvest those things. Most people just aren't able to do that, which is why high quality kibble and wet foods have been created.

HRS is basically exactly like that. They give a (very flawed, mind you - the amount of fruit they recommend is absurd and very dangerous from the high sugar content) basic outline of what percent of various things should be in a rabbit's diet. A large portion is hay, the second largest portion is "leafy greens" (which they just all lump together in one category despite different greens having different nutritive contents) and then pellets and fruit are equal in their 'small' percentages. It would take a considerable amount of prior knowledge about the nutritional qualities of rabbit-safe ingredients, and a very good understanding of your rabbit's personal nutritional needs, in order to really make this diet work. Most people just don't have that capability.

Again, just as we know raw feeding can be great for dogs when done properly, feeding your rabbit a varied diet can be fantastic! You just really have to know what you're doing before you get into. If you don't, you're very likely to see GI issues like bloat or GI Stasis. HRS says it's the complete feed pellets that are the cause of bloat or GI Stasis, but to be honest, I've not seen cases of bloat or GI Stasis consistently caused by comple

[magnetarmadda]

Hi there! Like probably a lot of people, I'm quite jealous and in awe of the amount of reading you seem to get done. If you don't mind my asking, did you read this many books when you were in grad school? I'm in the last few months of my PhD (in paleontology!) and I've found that working on my thesis has absolutely killed my ability to get through books. Did this happen to you? Did your brain recover afterward? Or did you never deal with the reading slump?

Thanks! (And I hope you're having a good day, because you seem like a cool and nice person!)

Hey, hi! First, best of luck with your final months of grad school!!! Honestly, for me, they were so hard because of the lack of structure. Just, “finish your dissertation” and that was all the instruction really. If you ever wanna chat/vent about that, lemme know!! (Also paleontology!!! That’s so cool!!)

I always like to preface my reading habits with this: I have a very fast reading comprehension speed, and so for me, it averages out to about 100 pages of a novel in an hour and about 75 pages of nonfiction in an hour. In that way, I got lucky with the combination of early reading education, at-home book discussions, and genetics. So I can sit down and read a 300-page book in one evening, which meant that, even though I was only reading only one or two days a week, I was still getting through 50+ a year that way in grad school

I also listen to a lot of audiobooks and love trade paperbacks of graphic novels. The graphic novels can be quite fast reads for me, and this again is partly luck and genetics—my mom’s an artist, so I learned to look at images critically quite young, and can frequently find important info in them quickly. Then, for audiobooks, I do struggle with some chronic illnesses and chronic pain, and I frequently have to check out of life—but I cannot be left alone in my own head, or I rapidly catastrophize lol. I also can’t shut my own brain off when it’s time to sleep, so I listen to audiobooks then as well. I’d say this means I average about 4 audiobooks a month, where they’re usually between 8 and 14 hours (I do listen at 1.25 or 1.5 speed, because otherwise my brain stops paying attention)

I was also lucky with my advisor in grad school. She had a firm self-care policy, in that she cares more about her students’ well-being and health than timely progress. So I never felt like I was stealing moments or neglecting my work—I was trying to cultivate the healthiest version of myself, given all the other factors outside of my control. In the six years I worked with her, we actually spent more than one meeting talking about fantasy novels instead of research, which was lovely

But, yeah, there were a lot of reading struggles in grad school for me. I would go long stretches of time where the idea of opening a book and reading more words was unbearable, because god, didn’t I just spend all day reading and writing?? I also started to not care as much for the types of books I read before grad school, so now I’ve got a few stacks of books on hand I feel guilty that I haven’t read (but I’m trying to recognize that I’ll probably never read them, because tastes can change). So I might've had motivation to read, but nothing I had on hand sounded particularly good

Submitting that dissertation and knowing the hard part was over was actually the biggest relief, I think maybe of my life. I defended in mid-October and then submitted the finished manuscript about two weeks later, and then I spent a solid month just…reading whatever the fuck I wanted to lol. I have a postdoc now (and am applying for faculty jobs 🤞), and the responsibilities are waaaaaay less than as a grad student. In fact, my PI is adamant that I should not do more than 40 hrs a week, and so I’ve been able to plow through books like wild in the last few months

I also want to say: grad school is hard. It’s so absolutely difficult. Master’s programs are rough, and PhD programs are their own rodeo, and it sucks to say (because it sounds awful to most people, I know), but unless someone goes through grad school themselves, it’s hard to fathom what makes it so hard and exhausting. It’s totally okay to cut yourself some slack for finding you don’t have as much energy for other things, even the things you really enjoy. The books will be there waiting, and I'll admit it took me a solid 4 years to accept that myself lol

Thanks for the lovely ask, and I really do wish you well as you finish up 💜 again, I'm here--ask box or dm--if you'd like to take more about any part of the process 💜

[leejenowrld]

what is your boyfriend like? is he as hot as you make him out to be?

this question makes me go in what way? emotionally? personality? looks wise? sexually? you bet i’m gonna go in depth and explain every little bit because he’s the love of my life and getting back with him ugh i’m just so happy i just wanna share my love and this is gonna be long <3 also i won’t describe what he looks like cus that’s a bit weird to do online lmao. also this is long. very long.

we’re both from south london and he’s just… so fucking unreal and handome. i’m talking objectively, do you know the amount of fucking girls who have tried to break us up by giving him unwanted attention?? he’s so… god, he’s the sexiest alive for ME and his personality only elevates that. i’m gonna go into his personality after, it’s gonna be the longest part so that’s why i’m doing it later 🥰

my man is very fit and in shape. he’s a football player actually, the british football lmao so with his feet. he loves the gym and he just loves working on his body, especially because of the attention he gets from me when he’s shirtless. his arms are literally bigger than my thighs guys. and i’m like 5’3 so he towers over me 😭 mf always pretending he can’t see me smh.

don’t get me wrong! if he wasn’t in fit shape it’s not like i’d love him less!! he’s just always been on top of his shape and he kinda has to be cus he’s very active and does sports a lot !! and he’s really good at it. i’ve been to his games and he’s sexy, my man’s gotten mad at players on the pitch before 🫶 and then seconds later he’ll blow me a kiss LMAO

we actually go to the gym together 🥹 one thing about my man’s personality is that he’s very realistic and will do anything in his power to better me, he doesn’t sugarcoat anything, i’ve been a bitch then he will tell me and he will tell me when i’m in the wrong, at the moment it makes me feel :( but i know he’s only doing it to help me grow and i know he still loves me

tangent over lmao i started feeling shit about my body. i didn’t feel confident but he helped me in the gym and we make it a routine to work out together 🥹 he really pushes and motivates me when i’m working out and godddd he’s so good to me. i’ve really worked on my ass and thighs lmao and he says he can tell <3 the mfal ieno and yn gym shit is actually based off me and my bf… a lot of mfal shit is 😭

now his personality… he’s genuinely the most emotionally mature and intelligent person i know. he’s like jaemin in ghostin! he understands me when i’m not trying to communicate with him, he understands me more than i understand myself sometimes, he knows what i need and want even when i don’t speak and he’ll always give me it 🥹 he helps me a lot with my anxiety and depression, which grew a lot in the last year because i wasn’t grieving in the most healthiest way. he’s just… he’s the most open minded person ever, he’s so kind to everyone and everyone’s loves him. he’s so social and gets along with everyone. he has the most fucking beautiful smile ever and he’s just so sweet 🥹 he’s my number one hype man, he always makes me feel beautiful and sexy and he won’t go a day without complimenting me, whether it’s my appearance or my personality. it means so much to me. i’ve definitely grown in confidence.

he’s just so in touch with his emotions and not in an annoying way, he knows how to describe how he’s feeling and what it is he wants! if something has upset him then he won’t ever hide it and let it swallow him, he will go about it in a mature way and solve it!! he’s cried to me a few times actually:(( when i tell you the things i wanted to do to the people/situations that have made him cry. the love of your life crying and sobbing in your arms is just… no… i wouldn’t wish that on anyone

he’s just respectful, to me, to everyone, regardless of their differences. and he’s a good listener god i will ramble and ramble to him and somehow he understands me and will put it in a way that makes sense and he will always give me a solution or he’ll just listen to me and be my shoulder to lean/cry on!’

god… is he outgoing. he’s very social and popular, it comes from the football and in high school he was super popular. me? i was the opposite at first, i didn’t talk to people much, i was so shy and reserved but we met 🥹 (do you guys wanna know how???)

and yeah he just brings me out of my shell. his confidence and outspokenness is something that makes him so attractive. he’s so good in confrontation too. oh my god. like he’s just so good at articulating himself and he deals well under pressure!! he stays level headed and calm and then there’s me!! if i had to face some of the things he’s had to face then i’d be a crumbling fucking sobbing mess

i’m just thinking like subconsciously and consciously mfal is basically my life 😭and as the writer of mfal, i know things about jeno and yn that you guys may not and yeah, they’re based off me and my man

guys i have a story to share about a song that i maybe wrote for him… (um i sing 🙈 don’t tell anyone tho ssshhhh) and i performed it for him… and…. yeah :)

i work at a bar so for entertainment these deadass bosses make me sing to old drunk men!

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Throwback Thursday!

Many thanks to everyone that contributed to WEDNESDAY WORDS yesterday. Every week, it just gets better! An amazing selection of lyrics, poems, words of wisdom and great lines from films. One of The Trouble’s top friends is making a special 60th birthday present for her. I’m not totally sure what it is but I look forward to seeing it. The friend asked me to ask The Trouble what her favourite Paulette and Claudette song was, and The Trouble said, ‘Watching You’, which is a song on the second album, written by me! The Trouble’s friend wanted the lyrics, so I think my words are about to be part of that birthday present.

On this page, ‘Throwback Thursday’ is about memories. So, what do you remember? If I was to say the word RUN, what immediately comes to mind?

My mind immediately goes back to my final sports day at primary school. I had just had a major growth spurt and I was a foot taller than all my classmates. I was entered for the 100 yard dash (on a stretch of grass sloping slightly downwards) at our sports ground on Aylmer Road. The race begins, I’m galloping down the field and there is no one around me. Maybe there’s been a false start? I look to the left, no one, I look to the right, no one, I veer into another lane and the kid in that lane runs into me. I fly arse-over-tit and lie, motionless, on the ground, wondering what the hell has just happened? I just lay there, half-dazed, half-embarrassed, until a teacher shouted down the course and told me to get up quickly because the next race was starting! Oh, the shame! If only I’d kept focused on the finish line.

The word RUN also reminds me of this cool period in my life when I was running from our house in Highgate up to the pond at Hampstead Heath and back. I think it’s the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. It enabled me to do cross country running at my secondary school and even deliver a respectable time. For a fat boy, this was a major achievement. If I could run 200 yards now, I’d be a happy bunny!

So, on this Throwback Thursday, what kind of memories does the word RUN conjure up for you?

Our nephew Jonatan (Yung Lean) is in London to film a new promotional video, so we had a major family dinner at our house last night. He lives your normal rock star life (writing, recording, touring, playing live gigs, filming videos and repeat) but, when he’s in London, he wants his Auntie Claudette’s home cooking and just to shoot the breeze with his cousins. When he was a kid and I was working at MTV, I used to give him piles of CDs by US and UK rappers and, just like his clever parents, he has forged a solid career for himself.

In amongst all the prepping, teaching and marking, in coming weeks, we’ve got lots to look forward to. ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’ is coming live from Summer Soulstice this Saturday (June 24), there’s a jazzy, live music birthday party on June 25th, we have a yummy BBQ on July 1st, I’ll be doing Mi-Soul’s ‘Concert At The Castle’ event in Windsor on July 9th, it’s the Margate Soul Festival on the weekend of August 4th, then I’m looking forward to going back to Stevenage on Bank Holiday Sunday, August 27th for ‘Let The Music Play’. And, of course, we’ll be back and forth to Hove regularly to see Lady Wesker.

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?) I love you all.

[maximumcatfeels]

Will you ever write anymore overwatch stuff?? If you do I'm actually genuinely begging you to write something else/somemore stuff with/focused on Sombra you write her SO well and its actually rare to find someone who genuinely writes her well and I would just flat out explode for a fic about her from yo-- Or even just a bunch of tidbits or something- headcannons you have- Also I LOVE your Moira stuff shes one of my favorites along with Sombra and Tracer!!!!

I’m sorry for the late reply, every time I tried to make a response, words failed me (in a good way) and I just sat staring at this, close to tears.

I honestly didn’t think people liked my Overwatch stuff. Or at least not enough to reach out to me about making more!

So getting this ask just hit me in a spot that I wasn’t expecting and it took me some time to think of the words to say!

I do want to write more Overwatch stuff! Both fics and short headcanon-y shit.

Mostly about Moira, I will be 100% honest.

But! I think that Sombra and Moira are friends (maybe not the healthiest friendship but still friends) and Sombra would show up in several of the fics I want to write!

I can’t promise that I’ll ever write a Sombra -centric fic (as much as I like her, I’m struggling to think of a fic that would center around her atm), but I’ll try to keep an open mind and see if I can come up with any ideas.

And… thank you.

So much.

Without going into details, my life has been crazy from illness, family drama, traveling, and a huge heaping helpin of depression and anxiety.

I’ve been playing OW again and really wanted to post stuff about it but was too depressed, thinking that no one would want to see it (or getting anxious that I’d get flamed for posting stuff that wasnt strictly canon).

Thank you for asking about this.

[lunarliyah]

IC & Childhood Part 1

IC is the opposite sign (sister sign) of your midheaven. Your midheaven sign basically is how you’re viewed in the public eye. So whatever sign its in, is what you portray in public or at your workplace as well. So the opposite of that is what is not seen in the public eye. You’re more inner self and (based on my theory) it has a lot to do with your upbringing. So here are some of my observations on how I’d describe home life/early life based on the IC.

Pisces IC

A curious kid. Always asking questions. Very imaginative. Enjoyed watching movies, going to the movies, having favorite shows, maybe enjoyed things like the circus, the zoo, etc. Parents may have ran with the Santa claws and tooth fairy stories. You may have been lied to a lot as a kid, to say in the most blunt way. But older people may a feed your imagination and let you believe anything. Maybe into dancing as a kid. A very creative childhood, household too. Parents could have been artsy and could have played a lot of music around you. You may have songs that remind you of a specific time. As you get older you have a lot revealed to you. (Thats where the Virgo MC comes in) You could have been spoiled. You could have been even confused a lot as a kid. And quite sensitive to your surroundings. You picked up on your family issues even if they tried to conceal them from you. You knew when something was off. Very high intuitive kid, you only did things if it felt right. Even in school, you could have been a loner until you were around people who made you feel right. Until you were around “your” people. If not you’d rather be alone. You may have not been close with your siblings or really anyone especially family wise. You could have felt like the black sheep. You enjoyed anything that took your mind off of reality. So again, movies, video games, toys,sports even, dancing, music, etc.

Cancer IC

You may have a really big family. Could have a very clingy and overbearing parents or parent. Your siblings could be very protective, if any. You always defend your family. Even if its not in the healthiest way. For example, Your family could be toxic, but you’d still stick beside them/or defend them in some way. You may love things like stuffed animals. You could have had a lot of attention as a kid or non at all. I can see attachment issues. If you couldn’t get attached to family, them you could try to seek out for things to attach to. Or be very dependent on outside things or people. Also very sensitive to surroundings. You definitely could have a favorite family member. That one family member you depend on. Even when you get older, you do tend to go back to your roots (home) a lot. You may care a lot about your background and your lineage. Maybe cooking recipes that you got from your family. Things may have been passed down. Emphasis on family here. You may, as an adult, think about having a large family. That could be pets too. You could have craved being nurtured as a kid. You could still want affection.

Scorpio IC

You may come off as a very calm kid or still to this day (with Taurus as your MC), a calm adult, but deep inside you have very strong and intense emotion. Talking too much about family may be a sensitive topic for you, as you would like to keep your family private. You may have been the kid to actually enjoy and go out their way to be alone in there room. You could have been into science or philosophies. Or even myths. You could have also been very curious and had a feeling of needing to know “why”. You could have done a lot of research, a lot of google searching as a kid. You could have been into taboo topics, topics that other kids aren’t thinking of like again science. When I think of this placement, I think of a kid that aced every science fair assignment lol. Very intelligent and of course intuitive. You were not easily persuaded as a kid. You could almost (could have) seen through adults. You could tell when adults were lying. You could have had possessive parents/authority figures. Or just extremely controlling. They could have been very black and white meaning very “this or that” type of parents. You may have gotten in trouble only being your authority figures rarely allowed you to do anything. You could have been good at hiding things/keeping things a secret from them and vice versa.

Gemini IC

A talkative kid. You could have also asked a lot of questions. You are, til this day, a over-thinker. A restless person, who can’t seem to finish a project. You were down to do a lot as a kid. Being in different clubs and having different interests. You could have been very close with siblings of had friend that felt like your siblings. Your family could have been very inviting to your friends. You could have had a lot of friends. But this placement does remind me of Pisces IC, where a lot of your imagination was feed into. Meaning people could have just told you anything and when you got older, whatever they told your wasn’t the case. Because you are very curious, I could also see someone who does a sh*t ton of research and doesn’t believe what they’re told unless they’ve did their own research or unless it automatically makes sense. A child that was probably a fast learner. You may be a active listener. Or when people told you something you understood the first time,or how to do something you caught on quick.

[kyberphilosopher]

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 

There it is. 

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence. 

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.  

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him. 

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon

[new-sandrafilter]

Timothée Chalamet On Dune: ‘I Felt A Deep Desire To Be Involved’

By Helen O'Hara (x)

While Dune takes audiences into an epic, sprawling universe of spice, sandworms, war and weirdness, at the centre of it all is Paul Atreides – the son of Oscar Isaac__’s Duke Leto and Rebecca Ferguson__’s Lady Jessica, heir to a galactic dynasty, whose mysterious dreams are drawing him towards a destiny on the desert planet of Arrakis. Taking the role in Denis Villeneuve’s adaptation is Timothée Chalamet, in his first major blockbuster – stepping up from arresting turns in low-key dramas like Lady Bird and Call Me By Your Name for an ambitious science-fiction story on a mind-boggling scale.

With Dune premiering at Venice in a matter of days, read Empire’s interview with Chalamet – talking his take on Paul Atreides, his love of Denis Villeneuve, the epic desert shoot, and why he wants to work with Christopher Nolan for a second time.

You were the first one cast in the film. How did it happen?

Well, I knew just from the film blogs that Denis had been working on it. I’d already done a good bit of research on the history of the project. I’m not alluding to Jodorowsky’s or David Lynch’s version, more around [production company] Legendary picking up the rights ten years ago. When I was fortunate enough to go to many of the awards-related events, I got to meet Denis a couple of times, and already had it in my head… You know, I was feeling a deep desire to be involved. Then when he was on the jury of the Cannes Film Festival, he asked me to fly out there to meet with him about it. I had read two or three chapters of Dune, and then in preparation for the meeting busted out the rest of the book.

Did playing Hal [Henry V] in David Michôd’s **The King** prepare you for playing Paul?

Yes and no. Hal was a bit of a philanderer, they call him “the whoring fool” and he’s lived a life of immorality around the central Christian moral doctrine of the times. That’s the beginning of his arc. Paul is not starting from an amoral place. He’s starting 15, 16 years old, and he’s not totally naive or innocent. He is very much a boy, but by the end of the movie… there’s the coming of age into adulthood alongside a greater purpose.

The scale of this film is huge. How did it feel as a contrast to what you’ve done before?

I was fortunate enough to work on small-budget, independent films around the world, whether it was Call Me By Your Name or Miss Stevens or Lady Bird, or Beautiful Boy, all these movies that were under $20 million or something. I wouldn’t do it any differently because coming from a drama high school too was the perfect notch-up. It made sense. To be brave enough to learn from one’s own experience. There was a step up that felt healthy about that. Denis Villeneuve has a very earthy, energy-based, moment-to-moment way of being inspired, but also in abandoning ideas he might have had 24 hours ago. It’s inspiring. I had a small part in Interstellar as the teenaged version of Casey Affleck’s Tom] and I loved working on that too. I would love to work with [Christopher Nolan again. These are both directors that make amazing, huge movies.

What was shooting in the desert like?

A gift! The nature of these big-budget movies is to get good at reacting to a green-screen that’s showing the audience that a mountain exploded 200 feet in the distance. I wouldn’t know how to train for that. And the suit didn’t feel silly. You hear some actors in superhero films say that as each part of the superhero costume is added, some part of their dignity has slipped away. There wasn’t any of that.

It’s an incredible ensemble cast. Did you feel intimidated?

From a young actor’s perspective, you learn a new set of skills in any movie. I’m only six years away from drama high school. At 23 or 24 you’re learning every day. I was lucky not knowing any of the actors prior, really. There was this unifying ulterior motive to make the movie great. It felt good. Things have to be utilitarian. It’s the healthiest way to approach art and creativity, you know. No ego.

[ladysyrinx]

Lucifer's Match ch. 3: Dragon, not Lamb part II

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Chapter 3

Pride and Masks

I turn on my side, grabbing a pillow and burying my face in it to allow myself to cry, my shoulders shaking, hot tears cooling quickly as they soak into the fabric. I hug it because I have nothing else to hold on to. I don’t know how long I lie like that, sobbing, lonely, afraid and confused, before my sobs slow, becoming increasingly infrequent until they are finally gone. I sigh deeply, exhausted but not sleepy.

I look around my room, having a slightly more difficult time putting together what I’m seeing from the weird angle I’m at lying on my side. I’m not certain what I’m looking for. Something to do, I guess. There are the books Satan lent me. I smile slightly looking at them, at how Satan had kindly gathered them for me so I’d have a way to ground myself in this new world. I remember Levi, eagerly talking about obscure but interesting anime with me. I take a steadying breath. It’s not all bad. Right?

I sure hope so. Just then I hear a tap on my door. I freeze for a moment, heart rate picking up. I may be done crying for now, but I know I’m not a pretty crier and it’s gonna be obvious that I was crying to anyone who sees me.

I swallow hard, trying to make sure my voice will come out strong. “Who is it?” I ask politely.

“Lucifer,” replies that deep bass from earlier.

Okay. Worst possible scenario confirmed. Great. Just great. “Did you need something?” I ask.

“I just wanted to have a brief word with you, if you don’t mind,” he says.

“What about?” I ask, beginning to stand and look around my room for a solution to the red eyes and blotchy face issue.

“Just some things to help you get settled. Would you kindly open the door?”

I give the door a skeptical look. As far as I know, Diavolo has yet to curse it. He could get in if he really wanted. It’s only manners that are keeping him from barging in if I don’t cooperate.

“Just a minute,” I say, darting into the bathroom. I sigh when I look in the mirror. It could be worse, for sure, but it isn’t great all the same. I turn on the tap and begin rinsing my face with cool water, hoping it will help. It does a little, but it’s a long ways from normal. Maybe Lucifer won’t notice?

Oh who am I kidding? The man was always known for picking up on the smallest things, and I imagine his sister, who’s been stalking him for millennia, did a decent job characterizing him in the game. Probably. I sigh, drying my face on a hand towel. I’d just bluff my way. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath to center my emotions. I push the raw ones down, pulling out a smooth, practiced calm I’ve spent years cultivating. Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, but masking sure does work in awkward social situations like this.

I straighten my shoulders and place my facial expression at a calm neutral. Knowing that’s all I can do, I stride over to the door and open it. Lucifer nods a greeting to me. “I apologize I couldn’t come by earlier. I had to finish up some last-minute business related to the exchange program with Diavolo.”

“That’s understandable,” I say.

He examines my face. I keep it steady, not allowing the worry that he might be able to tell I was crying to crack it. Fake it 'til you make it, as they say.

“Diavolo suggested I should make sure you’re holding up alright after the shock of being taken here so abruptly. And that I may have been a little too harsh on you when we first met.”

“Diavolo gives good advice then,” I say, face still neutral. His eyes narrow slightly as he examines my face more closely. I resist the temptation to change my expression. If I don’t give it away, he just might doubt what he sees is what he thinks it is. I hope.

“We attempted to prepare your room for all your needs, but we weren’t certain we got everything with how much humanity has changed in the last few years. Have you had a chance to look around? Is there anything you still need?”

“Thanks, I appreciate it. I haven’t found anything missing that I’ll need right away. Though, as I said in the meeting earlier, there are some things I will need to get from the human world, likely within the next few days. But I should be alright for tonight.” Luckily, I keep a few doses of my medications with me at all times, so I would last a few days before I’d need to go pick up the rest.

He nods slowly. “We have many things here in the Devildom, you may be able to acquire what you need here.”

“I appreciate the suggestion, but I won’t,” I say, tone confident and even.

He tilts his head slightly, narrowing his eyes as if he’s trying to pierce the mask I’ve put up. “You seem awfully certain.” A split second of nerves flit in my stomach before I recenter myself. None of it shows on my face. I’m certain because I can see that Lucifer didn’t get through as he wanted by the way his own face smooths out. He’d have gloated or said something if he’d seen through it. I’m pretty sure.

“I am quite certain. Even if you had a Devildom equivalent, which I highly doubt, I’d feel more comfortable getting what I need in the human realm, where I understand how things work.”

He looks at me again. “And what exactly is it you need to get?” he asks.

“Sorry, but that is none of your business,” I say, giving him a slight, polite smile.

“It’s my job to take care of you while you are here, so it is my business,” he says, eyebrows descending in disapproval.

I smile again. “Just because you are supposed to take care of me doesn’t mean you need to know everything or do everything. This is something I’ve been taking care of for years in the human realm. I think I can handle it just fine myself, so you have no need to worry about it.”

“I think I should be the one to determine that,” Lucifer says, frowning at me.

I smile at him. “Oh? I think I can determine which things I can handle without help, thank you. For instance, I think I’ll be able to handle feeding myself and brushing my teeth and bathing and walking without collaborating with you. Or do you intend to oversee all of those things as well? Should I also inform you when I intend to breathe, or when I need to use the bathroom?”

He frowns further but doesn’t argue. “You really are a smart-mouth, aren’t you?”

I simper slightly. “Only when I’m annoyed. And perhaps when I’m teasing.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Do you really think it wise to tease demons?” he asks.

I shrug. “I typically tease everyone, but if some demons can’t handle it I suppose I can go easy on them,” I say, smirking slightly with a teasing glimmer in my eyes.

His eyelids lower slightly in what I think is a challenge. It makes my heart beat just a bit faster, as if it is intrigued by the idea of pitting my own intellect against his. “If you tease, you must understand that you’ll be teased back?” he says.

“Naturally. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I say, mock-simpering fully this time. His mouth twitches up in full amusement.

“Well then, so long as you’re prepared for the consequences,” he says. His face straightens out a bit as he moves on to business. “Classes won’t start until Monday. We’ll have the weekend to figure out your requests and help you get organized for RAD. Unless you’re already prepared to handle all of that as well?” His voice has a slight mocking edge that amuses me.

I smile. “I will gladly accept and appreciate your assistance with those things, if it’s not too much trouble.”

He looks a bit amused again, and I’m pretty sure we’re playing the same game. Though I can’t read minds to be certain that he is amused for the reasons I think he is. “Well, breakfast is at nine. If there’s nothing else you need, I’ll be off.”

“Thanks for checking in,” I say, more out of politeness than full sincerity. I have mixed feelings at the moment even though I know he had good intentions. Yes there is a part of me that appreciates the gesture. And the interaction did distract me from my wallowing. But I hate that he caught me shortly after I finished crying. Though, admittedly, he had no way of knowing that before he came to check on me.

I reach for the door to close it when he pauses, looking over his shoulder. “Oh, and Tahlia, one last thing,” he says. I pause, looking at him expectantly, trying to ignore the still-foreign name. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve been crying. I’m the eldest of my brothers, and I’ve been looking after them a long time. It’s my job to keep you alive and make sure this program of Diavolo’s goes well, so if you’re struggling with something, I expect you to speak up and let me know. Understand?” His brilliant ruby and onyx eyes pierce deeper than I would like.

I feel my facial expression flinch slightly as I cringe inside at being caught. I almost immediately curse myself for it even as I slip my mask back into place. I’m not safe here. I need to be more careful to not let my mask slip, to not show any weakness. Especially to Lucifer, who would have the easiest time taking advantage and be most likely to look down on me for it.

“I understand,” I say, looking back at him evenly. But I don’t understand; I can’t quite place his facial expression. Is he actually worried about my well-being, or is he telling me I’m just an assignment from Diavolo? My eyebrows furrow slightly with the thought. As our eye contact holds longer than necessary, I begin to wonder if he doesn’t know what he meant by his words either. Perhaps he is also trying to figure out whether I’m the person he’s beginning to see, or the assignment Diavolo gave him before I even arrived.

He nods at me. “Goodnight.”

I nod back. “Goodnight.” I lean back into my room, shutting the door as I do so. I look at my hand on the doorknob, mind completely elsewhere as I begin to wonder if Lilith really understands her brothers at all.

~End Chapter 3~

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[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What do you think would happen if one of the Cullens realized they might also be "in love" with Bella during Twilight along side Ed. Mates be damned (not like their marriages are gonna last anyway), and everyone's on the table (just 1 love rival, not at the same time buuuuut could you imagine the chaos? *cough*). The usual Bella eaten/killed by Eddy boi is def on the table obvie, but like do you think there's a chance he might concede to one of his family (or just any other alternatives)? -Sw

Oh boy.

Why I Don’t Think This Is a Possibility

That said, I have to caveat that I don’t think this is a very likely path (sorry, I cannot resist).

It’s true I don’t think any of the Cullen relationships will last in the long term, but I also don’t think they’re inclined to cheat on one another or fall apart at a moment’s notice. They’ve made it this long, several decades, but more, none of them realizes anything is lacking from their respective relationship. 

Carlisle and Esme are very devoted to one another and don’t realize they have fundamentally conflicting values. Jasper and Alice think they fulfil each other’s needs and don’t realize that they share nothing in common. Rosalie and Emmett’s is the healthiest relationship in the house but don’t see their major issues (Emmett doesn’t really support or understand Rosalie and Rosalie loves Emmett mostly for his love of her).

My point being, none of them are going to realize it’s not working out anytime soon. They’re going to need a catalyst, and per the end of Twilight, one is coming. Either a confrontation with the Volturi occurs, Renesmee decides to leave, the Cullen lifestyle changes, or things with Bella go awry. It can be any number of things, and it will happen given time, but at the start of Twilight we haven’t hit that point yet.

There’s also the fact that of the Cullens, only Edward would do this nonsense, and even for him it takes Bella’s delicious blood to grab his attention. When she was an ordinary human, he was not interested in the slightest, not even in her gift.

Each of the Cullens (Sans Alice and Esme) is completely baffled by Edward’s emotional whiplash and attachment to this human girl he doesn’t even know. Bella only becomes a vague concept to them when she enters as a serious fixture in Edward’s life, but even then, they really don’t know what to think.

No one in the family will do what Edward did in Twilight. Look at this girl they don’t even know and say “Ah, yes, I’m in love.” 

Now, that out of the way, let’s play ball.

Alice

This actually will work out shockingly well if only because I suspect Alice will come up with the pragmatic solution of “sharing”.

First, Alice is by far the closest Cullen member to Edward. He holds her in high esteem, feels a strong sense of kinship with her, actually confides in her, and sees her as a very close friend. Edward looks up to Carlisle and adores Esme, but it’s not the same.

If Alice sees herself as getting together with Bella I don’t think she’d see this as mutually exclusive to Edward having Bella. Alice cares deeply for Edward’s happiness, far more than she does Bella’s general existence, and I think the idea of entering a joint marriage with Edward and Bella would be very appealing to her.

She’d have to ease Edward into it, of course, as he’d balk at the very idea of it, but I think he’d see it as a strengthening of his and Alice’s relationship as well as having the wonderful Bella. Better yet, Alice can be physical with Bella while Edward can go compose music about their love.

As it is this... This is kind of what happens in canon.

Alice tells Edward that not only is he in love with Bella, but that Bella is going to be her best friend, so he better not muck it up. She has to ease him into the idea of being in love with Bella throughout the first part of Twilight. Then, when the relationship is solidified, Alice is right there introducing herself as Bella’s new BFF. Bella’s friendship with Alice throughout the series is extremely homoerotic and I imagine it remains so after Breaking Dawn.

Edward is very pleased that Bella counts Alice as her best friend, Alice being far and away his favorite sibling and the one he approves of Bella spending time with (generally, when she’s not foiling his schemes). 

I don’t think Alice and Bella will ever have sex, per se, but I imagine they remain quite physical with each other and Edward looks on with approval thinking to himself that this is how all female friendships should be.

And if Jasper has the nagging suspicion his wife is cheating on him then he’s not functioning quite well enough to put it into words just yet.

Carlisle

Edward would lose his mind.

First, Edward is very into Carlisle, and for all he insists his feelings are filial they sound remarkably romantic. I’d drop a quote, but it’s pretty much every time Edward thinks of Carlisle in Midnight Sun. More than that, Carlisle is the man Edward aspires to be, someone he sees as profoundly more good than he could ever hope to be.

Edward projects a very similar personality onto Bella herself.

So, I imagine if Carlisle sits Edward down and says, “Actually, Edward, I have fallen in love with this Bella” Edward feels very conflicting things all at once.

On the one hand, this means Esme/Carlisle is collapsing. Edward personally brought those two together and adores the idea of their relationship. Their relationship is what he hopes his and Bella’s will look like and is to him the married ideal of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father.

Carlisle/Esme alone falling apart would give him a complete existential crisis. That’s not allowed to happen. 

And then that Carlisle wants Bella Swan for himself?! Edward would be faced with the immediate,horrifying, thought that for all Carlisle is a vampire he would be the perfect man for saint like Bella. Carlisle and Bella deserve one another, would be perfect together, and Edward should not begrudge them that.

On the other hand, Edward himself is in love with Bella, and while he thought he could nobly leave her, now he has to nobly stand to the side and watch as Carlsile and her marry. It’d be a very romantic and tragic thing to do, but there’s leaving Bella to her human life, and then watching her up front for the rest of eternity while bitterly hiding his feelings.

More, Carlisle will turn her. If Bella is his true love, then there’s no question of that. Edward’s seen where this goes with Emmett. He will destroy Bella Swan to be with her forever, and Edward will have to live with the shell of Bella Swan staring back at him, fucking his father, forever.

I imagine Edward desperately pretends to concede to Carlisle, to be happy for the pair of them, but as things progress and Bella’s permanent position in the family looks more and more likely, he loses his mind. He’ll snap and there is no telling what he might do.

My money’s on him mercy killing Bella while she’s still human behind Carlisle’s back. He’s sobbing while he does it, but he just can’t let Bella be tarnished by vampirism, and now he will carry this tragic, terrible, secret for the rest of time.

Whether Carlisle was going to turn her or not is up to debate. Given he turned none after Emmett, I think he learned his lesson from Rosalie and would be more than willing to let Bella go, even if he loves her, should it mean he would not force something she does not want and does not understand upon her.

That said, I think he’d never tell Edward his feelings for Bella, as that would ruin Edward’s fledgling relationship with the girl. This is Edward’s first brush with love and seems to be the only romantic love he’ll ever have. Edward has been so miserable for so long that Carlisle would easily give up his own happiness for Edward.

So, more likely, Twilight would happen anyway and Carlisle would spend the entire time being utterly miserable and pretending he’s perfectly fine. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ESME.

Emmett

Edward tattles to Rosalie immediately.

He loves Emmett, but he knows Emmett can’t possibly be serious about this, and more, fundamentally doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing Bella is. He wants to turn her into a vampire, clearly, Emmett doesn’t know what’s best for the girl.

More, a man who would so easily break his marriage vows (even to Rosalie), does not deserve Bella Swan.

Edward watches Rosalie and Emmett’s marriage utterly disintegrate with a juice box filled with mountain lion blood and swoops in on Bella while Emmett is thoroughly distracted. Edward then gaslights Bella into believing Emmett is dangerous and despises her, making Emmett the new and improved Jasper.

Esme

Esme would never tell Edward or likely even realize her feelings for Bella herself. If she did though, she would give up the possibility of a future with Bella Swan in a heartbeat for Edward’s happiness, which means everything to her.

Esme will have no regrets, won’t even smile sadly at Bella, because she has Carlsile as her consolation prize and she gets to see the joy in both Bell and Edward’s faces which is far more important than having Bella to herself.

Esme would live vicariously through Bella and Edward’s relationship as well as the very existence of Renesmee.

Like Alice, this is one of those things that’s pretty much canon. I won’t say anything for Esme’s feelings, it’s more that Esme ships Bella with Edward (and mostly because Edward himself comes to obsess over her), but she does seem to vicariously get her joy through their nuclear family within the Cullen family.

Esme is a very strange person.

Jasper

Edward would attempt to murder Jasper or at least severely injure him. Jasper would be the ultimate threat to Bella, not even a man unworthy of her but not a man at all, and exactly what Edward needs to protect Bella against.

Alice tries to stop the fight, to no avail, and Edward will ultimately lose (despite all his confidence). I imagine Jasper doesn’t kill him, but tears apart his limbs, and uses Edward’s lack of mobility to kidnap and then turn Bella.

Bella has no idea what’s happening and the next thing she knows she’s a vampire and Jasper is telling her they have to leave the area (as he must now leave the coven).

Edward tries to track them down for the rest of eternity. He will get vengeance upon Jasper and save Bella this terrible demonic existence forced upon her. Of course, he ends up lost in Rio.

Rosalie

Edward would tell her that her feelings cannot possibly be real. Bella is a woman. More, Rosalie is unworthy of Bella in every possible regard, even more so than Edward himself.

Basically, Edward would lay into Rosalie in a way that he never has before with all of his venom. He will do everything he can to sabotage Bella’s opinion of Rosalie before Rosalie can even get a word in edgewise. He is successful at it due to Bella’s perilously low self esteem (much the reason he was successful with this endeavor in canon).

Rosalie and Edward get in a vicious fight and I imagine Rosalie eventually confronts Bella, making an opportunity to do so, and both warns her away from Edward, tells her everything, and offers to turn her despite Rosalie’s own mixed experiences.

Rosalie and Edward probably then fight and it quickly turns into something that’s very serious. If Edward wins, he murders Rosalie in the heat of the moment, and then leaves the coven in horror over what Carlisle must think of him now. If Rosalie wins... I don’t think she will, she cares for Edward far too much and would never truly be able to aim to kill or maim.

Edward disappears, drowning in his self hatred, and returns to find Bella Swan at some later date unable to resist the call of her scent. Depending where she is in her life, he likely murders her human husband if she has one and dvours her, as Alice prophesied so long ago.