#i’d rather kms than live in a city

[icarianmoth]

for like 24 hours i lived in a world of confronting the horrifying idea of having to take a new job in nyc. and god i could not. i could not

[arjaandsimoni]

Wings and Scales

The jungles near Mandasaur, India, approximately 430 km south of Jaipur

After about two days of travelling, they had reached Mandasaur, along the route to Thiruvangad Sree Ramaswami Temple. There were, of course, hotels in the city but they would not be staying there… instead, they had camped in the jungle.

Simoni huffed a bit, turning in her sleeping bag in the tent that Nelen had set up. She didn’t really dislike camping, but after living in a literal mansion in Jaipur she was more than used to some creature comforts.

Nelen, on the other hand, was used to the kind of seedy hotel rooms that were often featured on shows like Cheaters or To Catch a Predator before they got shut down and was out like a light within minutes, Dawn curled up on his chest in her animal form. They had considered bringing Dusk as well but had decided it was too dangerous for the inexperienced kitten… or rather Dawn had. While the Cheshire’s sense of humor was legendarily twisted she had just gotten her family back after several years of assuming them dead and gone forever… and thus she didn’t want to take the risk.

Arja however was apparently made of sterner stuff, the girl having dozed off rather quickly, and Tex was used to having to bunk in the barn on nights when one of the cows at the ranch was ready to give birth so he could raise the alarm if it began, so he was already snoring away.

After several more minutes she gave up and got out, padding out into the clearing they had made camp in and sighing. “Ugh… I get that you don’t want to risk something happening in a city but would it have really been that big a deal to stop in a hotel?” she frowned, looking around.

As she looked up however she saw something in a nearby tree.

A large bird watching her… not any bird, but a vulture specifically.

She raised her eyebrow at it, and the vulture cocked its head but made no move to leave.

Simoni frowned, “We’re not dead you know, we’re just sleeping.” she said up to the vulture.

The vulture made a strange sound, a sort of half squak-half caw that almost sound like laughing, then spread its wings and flew off into the night sky.

Simoni blinked in confusion, “… did that thing understand me?” she muttered, then yawned and decided to give sleeping another try. “Maybe I’m just imagining it…”

The next day, about six hours travel south

Simoni yawned miserably. She hadn’t slept much at all that night, the girl grumbling under her breath.

Arja raised her eyebrow at her, “You reaaaaaaally are picky about beds, huh?” she asked.

Tex chuckled, “C’mon Simoni, ain’t that bad. Campin’ is great once ya’ll get used to it. Year before I came up ta Kentucky with mom we did this big campout in the desert north o’ Houston and had a big ol’ sausage roast ‘n everything.”

“Unless someone brings a damn feather mattress next time I’m out… I’d rather transform and sleep in a tree than sleep on rocks and roots again…” sighed the garuda, rubbing at her eyes.

Nelen snorted, “Hey Dawn, remember that time I got hurt so bad and lost so much ‘blood’ that I blacked out and you had to break into a gas station and steal a bunch of food for me to eat so Merihim could rebuild himself, then we spent the night out in the woods to hide from those vampires’ buddies?” he asked.

Dawn grinned, “HAH! Yeah, took out the whole damn coterie, but they shot you so full of holes you went into a coma. Good thing you can’t actually DIE from blood loss. We’re in the forest, no tent or sleeping bags or anything, the whole time I’m trying to force-feed his barely conscious ass beef jerky!” she cackled.

Nelen smirked back at her, “I wake up and she’s got like five beef sticks stuffed into my mouth.”

Dawn laughed, kicking her legs frantically. “I’m all ‘SNAP INTO THE DAMN SLIM JIM NELEN!’”

Arja snorted at that and Tex laughed at the mental image, then paused, “… wait, back up a bit…” he said, “Ya’ll almost died?” he asked.

Nelen shook his head, “No, but it fucked me up good. One of the fringe benefits to my pact. I can’t actually die from blood loss since its not actually blood. Merihim just needs to rebuild himself and its faster if I eat something. If I lose too much though I black out.”

Dawn grinned, “That’s where I come in, get Gandalf to safety, get food, get him back on his feet.”

Nelen nodded, “Merihim can kill a vampire who tries to feed on me, but they can use guns. He can’t stop that.” he replied, then looked forward and frowned, “What the…” he pulled to a stop and read the sign, “Ah shit. Kids we gotta take a detour, road is closed for construction it looks like…”

He pulled off the road, a police officer watching him go with a nod and wave. He waved back, and as he left the policeman stepped away and pulled out a smartphone.

He called a number, then said, “They just left the road, they should reach you in about twenty minutes.” and as he did his eyes seemed to change for a moment, becoming deep green with vertical slits before he blinked and they changed back, then he went back to the barricade.

Nelen followed the signs, but the road was far more dirt path than actual road now. He frowned, wondering if it was even possible to rejoin the main highway. They were pretty far out in one of the more rural areas of India now. “Shit, the GPS is getting confused. It can’t tell where the road even is out here.” he snarled, looking around. “Kids, I might need some extra eyes up here.”

As they drove along however there was a loud BANG and suddenly the ride became a lot rougher. Nelen swore and pulled to the side of the road. “MOTHER FUCKER!” he shouted, “That had to be the tire… Rajesh gave us a few spares, should last us until we can get to a city…” he sighed as he got out. “Pit stop kids, go find a patch of forest if you need it.”

The group got out as he went to inspect the damage… then stopped dead.

The tire was flat… but it was flat because an arrow had pierced it, an arrow fletched with emerald green feathers.

“Shit… HEADS UP! WE’VE GOT COMPANY!” he shouted, immediately conjuring a tendril from his left hand and a bubble of crimson from his right as his head snapped around. Dawn hissed and whipped off her glasses, looking around with wide yellow eyes.

From around them came hissing laughter. “Ssso… itsss true… the ssscion of Hanuman isss abroad in India…” came one’s voice.

Simoni eeped, taking a step closer to Arja as she shifted into her Vanara form. Tex unholstered his gun and cocked it, looking around… but all they saw was jungle.

“Yesss… and our massster wishesss for their mossst preciousss cargo…” came another voice.

Arja snarled defiantly, looking around. “Nagas… you want it?!” she roared, “COME AND TAKE IT THEN!”

Laughter came from around them, then Nelen froze.

UP! THEY’RE ABOVE YOU! shouted Merihim’s voice in his head.

Nelen grabbed Dawn and dove towards the others, conjuring a shield of crimson blood-like liquid just in time to block a sudden hail of arrows, the tips coated in a green substance.

Arja looked at them and swore, “Watch out! Those arrowheads are covered in naga venom!” she warned.

Simoni however took a deep breath, then let out a loud shriek. A blast of air shook the canopy and the trees bent hard, snapping back as the gale ended! From within the boughs several large serpentine figures fell to the ground!

Nelen looked around them, flexing his hands as Tex took aim at one, then another… but they were outnumbered! There were two naga for each of them!

“Simoni!” shouted Arja, “We need to do the big thing!” she nodded.

Simoni nodded back, then shifted into her Garuda form as Arja scrambled onto her back.

“SSSTOP THEM!” cried out one of the naga ambushers, and several arrows clattered into the ground just as Simoni shot up into the air!

The two of them channeled their magic, Arja creating a burst of flames to engulf them both as Simoni whistled up a gale to shape it, and once more the phoenix spread its wings!

“HAH! Got you now! Try shooting your arrows, they won’t even reach us before they turn to ashes!” taunted Arja as Nelen lashed out at the assassins who’d attacked them, the tendril bursting with fangs and slashing into three of them. One was killed outright, a fang slashing across its throat, and the other two suddenly screaming in pain as their scales turned red and sickly. The demon had infected them with a supernaturally potent strain of septicemia!

The two girls took aim at a cluster of serpents, but as they prepared to dive several of them made a gesture and began hissing in a strange rhythmic way… and there was a loud rushing sound…

A moment later, a massive spout of water erupted from a lake on the far side of the trees and slammed into the phoenix! Arja and Simoni cried out, then spiraled downwards and landed with a thud, soaked to the bone!

Simoni shook herself off and scrambled upright, Arja doing so as well as she flexed her claws… then paused and flexed them again… then looked at her hands, “Oh shit…” she whispered.

“Arja? Whats wrong?” she asked, readying another burst of winds.

“I’m soaking wet! I can’t make fire like this!” she warned, her expression looking panicked.

Simoni winced, then looked back at their attackers. “That’s… bad…” she replied.

Arja growled angrily, staring down the serpentine assassins as she flexed her claws… but without her flame she was denied her best weapon. Next to her a gunshot rang out, but the naga were incredibly agile and dodged around Tex’s shots! Nelen lashed out as well, managing to take down one, but the others were still coming!

To make things worse, they could hear trees rustling in the distance. This ambushing group was only part of the naga’s forces! They could get overwhelmed!

“Arja!” shouted Nelen, “Towels in the bus, go dry off as fast as you can!” he called to her. Arja nodded and scrambled back into the vehicle on all fours as Simoni tried to blast another of the naga back.

Tex however had given up on his pistol, “Here’s hopin’ lady luck is kind to us…” he whispered, taking out the Very Useful Deck and quickly shuffling it, then drawing five cards.

The boy looked at the hand and the queen of diamonds stared back at him… and winked. There was a swirl of glamour as the cards erupted forth from his hands and the naga hesitated.

Standing before them was a woman in a shining red and black dress like a saloon girl might’ve worn in the old west, a pair of thigh high heeled boots on her legs. Her fingernails were long and crimson, and she had bloody red lips and long pointed ears, her black hair tied in a tight bun on the back of her head. Her eyes were red diamonds against white orbs. “Woooie! Looks like ya’ll stirred up a whole nest o’ rattlers!” laughed the Queen of Diamonds.

“Yeah, that we did… ya’ll got a fix fer it?” asked Tex, whistling a bit in surprise. He knew about the Jokers now, but it seemed that ALL the face cards weren’t just spells or weapons… they were faeries themselves! Perhaps just powerful goblins… he’d ask Sammi later.

She chuckled, clicking her fingernails together, “I might…” she chuckled, and as she did sparks flew. Above them the clouds began to swirl and thicken. “Ya’ll might wanna get under somethin’ though…” she warned.

Tex looked around then nodded and waved for the others to get back behind the tree line.

The naga snarled in fury and charged forward, ignorant of what the Queen had said… but then they didn’t speak English!

The queen smirked as they drew close, then made a finger gun at them, “Alright ya varmants…” she grinned, “Dance.” she said, ‘firing’ the gun.

The sky crackled with electricity as the naga hesitated, then suddenly several bolts of lightning crashed downwards into their numbers. The naga cried out in pain and fear as the storm crashed upon them, several of them getting electrocuted and one even being blown to bits by a particularly large bolt!

“Hahaha!” she laughed, dancing with glee at the chaos she’d unleashed, her dress swirling about her as she mimed another firing motion with her hand, lightning arcing down into the encroaching naga! “C’mon ya dirty snakes! Is that the best ya’ll got?!” she cackled… then suddenly there were several twanging sounds and she cried out and stumbled back, three arrows buried in her shoulder!

The Queen of Diamonds fell backwards, struggling to stand as the venom tipped arrows began to eat away at her. “Well dang it all… sorry Dealer… but I’m afraid I need ta go powder mah nose as it were…” she chuckled. The woman vanished in a flash of glamour and her card drifted down to the jungle floor.

Tex ran forward and snatched up the card, looking up just as another half dozen naga burst out of the jungle, bows already drawn! “Crap!” he shouted, diving behind the bus and shuffling frantically, then drawing a hand. Two nines… but… nothing happened! They just remained two nines! “Huh? Oh shit… oh shiiiiit…” he stammered, “GUYS! Its not workin’! I think th’ deck is outta juice or somethin’!” he shouted.

Nelen growled, throwing a ball of crimson into the oncoming nagas, one of them went down with scale rot… but only one! “Freaking faerie artifacts… it must burn out after it summons someone!” he shouted back, “Arja!” he called.

The Vanara girl was rubbing the water off as fast as she could, but her whole body had been drenched as if she’d stood outside in a monsoon! “I’m trying dammit!” she shouted back.

“KILL THEM ALL AND TAKE THE ARROW, FOR OUR QUEEN SSSULOCHANA!” hissed one of the naga in triumph.

Simoni conjured another gale, but the naga held firm… they were experts at fighting the garuda, and she was just one!

Dawn hissed and her eyes glowed brightly, and two of the naga got caught in it and shrieked in fear as a mongoose the size of a grizzly bear descended on them (or at least they thought one did.) She vanished with a faint thunderclap as one of the naga fired an arrow at her, reappearing ontop of a nearby tree as she scanned the forest. “Guys!” she called out, “There’s still more coming!”

Nelen swore, the warlock beginning to worry… they couldn’t leave with the wheel blown out. Even if they risked damage to the bus the naga would easily overtake them trying to drive on a flat tire! “Shit…” he looked down at his hands, and hesitated. Undoing the seal taxed his mind greatly, and he couldn’t guarantee he could control Merihim this time… if the demon ran rampant…

Then suddenly a gale shook the trees, and the naga were forced back by a massive burst of wind!

Nelen looked at Simoni and grinned, then paused as he realized Simoni looked confused. She caught his gaze and shook her head, “I didn’t do that!” she said.

He was about to ask who did, but the question was suddenly answered for him as a loud cry went up from the skies above. “NOW BROTHERS AND SISTERS!” boomed a man’s voice.

The naga hissed in fury as the sky suddenly grew dark, and the sound of wings filled the air… and like avenging angels, a flock of garuda descended upon the naga attackers! Leading the charge was an older one with a long neck and a bald head, a huge beak-like nose on his face. Unlike Lakshmi’s flock, these ones had glossy brown feathers and long black talons instead of gold.

Simoni grinned, then whistled up a wind and flew up into the sky, joining with the flock as the women in it summoned a gale to blow the naga’s shots wild, sending their arrows flying off to land in the jungle as the men dove downwards, their talons flashing like daggers. The naga tried to fight back with their bows and the watery magic they’d used to dampen out Arja's powers, but these garuda were prepared for them!

“It isss the children of Jatayu!” cried out one of the naga. “The battle turnsss againssst usss! FLEE INTO THE JUNGLE!”

The elder garuda grinned toothily, “They’re running, the cowardly snakes! Go my children! Show them the sharpness of our talons!” he laughed.

The other garuda men soared off after the naga as the women harried them with storms, and Simoni saw a strange parallel with her former kin of Clan Fullmoon… the men could use magic too, they wouldn’t be able to fly if they couldn’t, but seemed much more at home rending with talons up close.

The elder landed by the bus, then shed his wings and talons, standing there with a grin. “Good day to you all. Lakshmi sent us a messenger a few days back saying that one of her’s was performing an errand of great importance and asked if we could keep an eye out and assist if needed. We were busy protecting our lands from a naga raiding party… but it would appear they were more interested in you.” he grinned. “I am Elder Rodas, descendant of Jatayu.”

Arja had come out of the bus at this point when she heard the commotion, the Vanara girl grinning, “I’ve heard of you! You’re Lord Garuda’s great… well… lotta greats… nephew!” she said as Simoni landed and shed her feathers and scales, changing back into her human form.

He chuckled, “Eh, I’m not that great. I just do what I can to protect my people.” he nodded.

“Jatayu?” asked Simoni, cocking her head in confusion.

Rodas looked to her and pursed his lips, “What’s this? One of Lakshmi’s kin does not know of our history?” he asked.

Arja giggled a bit, “Simoni is… different. She was kinda adopted into being a garuda. Long story.” she explained.

Rodas grinned, “Oho! This is the one I heard so much about… We all heard tales of the outsider who joined Lakshmi’s flock and manifested a firebird the likes of which had not been seen since the days Lord Vishnu fought back the dread forces of Ravana.” he nodded, “It is quite the pleasure to meet you up close young lady.” he nodded.

Simoni raised her eyebrow, “Up clo-…” she started, then her eyes widened. His bald head, hunched posture, and beak like nose… “That was you last night! You were that vulture I saw!” she gasped.

He chuckled, “Ah, this one is a clever one…” he smiled, “You are correct Simoni. The eldest of the garuda remember how to become fully avian as our divine ancestor once did. Perhaps someday you too will hide that pretty face under feathers and a strong beak.” he smiled.

“Well, I pulled it off once… but we kinda had help there…” she giggled.

Rodas blinked in surprise, “Truly? One so young… well well, perhaps this is a sign of something…” he mused.

Tex walked over, tucking the deck away with a worried look, “Um… a sign of what gramps?” he asked. The old man was speaking in Hindi, but Nelen had made sure to craft the ear clips for everyone in their group who could use them.

Rodas looked at him, then shrugged, “Eh, could just be a sign of something. I suppose we’ll know when it happens.” he chuckled. “Was that lightning storm your doing young man? We knew the naga were attacking someone else, but we did not know where… until we saw THAT.” he grinned.

Tex shrugged, “Um, sorta? Its this magic deck of cards I got… but I think doing that stunt blew a fuse or somethin’.” he replied.

Nelen, by now, had decided the naga were too busy to come back and had gotten out the spare tire and jack, the older man busy swapping out the tire that the arrow had broken. “Kids! Keep a watch out eh? I wanna get moving as soon as we can incase something else shows up!” he shouted.

Arja nodded, “Got it!” she called back, “He’s right though. Thanks for the help Elder Rodas, but we should leave as soon as we can.” she nodded.

The elder garuda frowned a bit, “Be very careful on your travels young lady. The naga are bolder then ever suddenly. My people’s capital in the Supernatural World, in the sacred forest of Himmapan, has been facing attacks from naga for several weeks now. Before the serpents would not dare come close… but something has changed with them.” he said, his expression growing troubled, “This too, may be a sign… though a very worrying one indeed…”

Simoni frowned, “What could get them so wound up though?” she asked.

Arja nodded, “Yeah, I mean I’ve fought off the occasional assassin, but outside of their raid on the village last time they rarely do stuff like that. Nagas fight by stealth and magic normally, a bold strike like that is really unusual.” she said, “Last time it was because they knew I’d lost my powers and they thought they could take out the heir to Hanuman’s line… but…” she looked at the jungle that the naga had retreated into, occasionally a loud hissing scream came from the distance. “… why are they doing this now?” she muttered.

Dawn just shrugged, “Search me.” she replied as ahead of them Nelen had replaced the tire and was using a hand pump to inflate it.

The elderly garuda sighed, “I cannot tell you myself… they have never in my lifetime been this eager for bloodshed. Something must have changed, but I am at a loss as to what.” he sighed. “Why did they attack you, I wonder…” he asked.

Arja blinked, then snapped her fingers, “Hey, that’s right! Why DID the naga come after us?!” she gasped, “They don’t want the arrow, the rakshasa do!” she nodded firmly.

“… the… arrow?” asked the garuda man, cocking his head.

Arja hesitated, “… look, Rodas, promise me that you won’t tell anyone of this. If word got out about what we have, it could spread a panic.” she warned.

The elder looked at her expression, then nodded, “While I am not one to keep secrets from my flock, I can tell this one is of import. You have my word child. My beak is sealed.” he replied.

Arja took a breath, and then explained the situation. The arrow, their discovery, what it implied about the truth of the tale of Ramayana and the war between Lord Rama and King Ravana, and so on.

The garuda listened, his expression grave, then he nodded slowly, “This is indeed very troubling. I have heard of the Kris of Mahakala… but to know that the arrow he used to defeat the dread king was not the gods' blessing but rather such a tool…” he shuddered, “Do not fear young lady, I will tell no one. You are correct, should my flock learn of the untruth of Lord Rama’s battle it would only spread fear among them.” he replied, then looked up as Nelen walked back, rolling the busted tire into the back of the bus and putting the tools away. “Your vehicle is ready to travel again good sir?” he asked.

Nelen looked back, then nodded, “Yeah, should be fine. We’ll need to swap the spare for a proper tire at the next city, but it’ll get us there now.” he replied.

Rodas nodded to him, “Then go, and may Lord Brahma guide you on your journey.” he said.

Nelen nodded back, walking to the driver’s seat, and muttered under his breath, “Huh, no headache… guess it doesn’t do that unless it’s a Christian blessing…”

Simoni nodded, “Yeah, we should go in case they have another group hiding nearby. Thank you again Elder Rodas!” she smiled as they got into the bus, Arja waving to the elderly garuda as they pulled the doors shut.

Rodas smiled back and watched as the engine started, then they began rolling again… but as they pulled out of sight he frowned, “… Lord Garuda… did you know of this deception?” he sighed, “My ancestor and your nephew Jatayu died trying to save Lady Sita. If that arrow truly is Ravana’s prison…” he shuddered, then shook his head.

A few moments later, a vulture took flight over the jungle, flying off above the trees.

Next Story

Previous Story

[thanks-captain-obvious]

OMG I'm so in love with Daminette its not even healthy anymore.

Daminette Soulmate AU headcanon where they can mentally communicate with each other. Not mind reading where they can tell what the other is thinking but the one where they can talk with each othee without speaking out loud. And they can consciously turn it on and off.

So, the canon MLB happened here. Marinette will fall in love with Adrien despite having a soulmate. If anything, she hated her soulmate. They are rather rude whenever they talk. Kinda gives the Chloe I'm-better-than-all-of-you attitude.

Besides, she's pretty sure he hated her, too.

In fact, Marinette could count on one hand times they talked to each other.

So. Years passed and post-Hawkmoth and while Adrien and Marinette dated for those few months after hawkmoth's defeat, they agreed they are better off more than friends but less than lovers.

Imagine her surprise one day, when she heard a tentative are you there? from the other side of her bond. Confused as to the tone of his voice and what prompted this contact, she replied a curt yes.

What he said next will had her opening the Miracle Box and bring her out of Paris and to the most crime ridden of the world, Gotham.

"Listen," he started,"I don't think even the Pit can resurrect me after this and I want you to tell my father that its not their fault. I'm such an arrogant know-it-all I thought I know what I'm doing. Knowing him, he will surely blame himself for my death. His name is Bruce Wayne"

Sensing her soulmate is not quite finished, Marinette tried to clear her thoughts even though her insides are screaming for her to move.

"And to Rachel: Please tell her I didn't like the way it ended and if it's up to me, I'd rather it end in any other circumstances..."

By this time, Marinette had already managed to quickly pull up a general Google search and saw that Bruce Wayne lives in Gotham. She's surprised to garner much results but for now, her soulmate sounds as if he needed her help.

"And Marinette... I wish we could have met. Maybe in another world where I'm a better person than I am, we would have met. Perhaps I will be more deserving of you, I can tell you're a good person—"

Before he could continue, Marinette snapped at him. "Where are you?"

"It doesn't matter. I already have the Bat—er, my father's car and I'm driving away this trigger from the City."

"I said: WHERE.ARE.YOU?"

...

"Gotham." was his short answer.

"I needed something more specific than that."

Silence.

"About 1 KM northwest of Ace Chemicals"

"Got it."

"Wait." Her soulmate said, "Do you actually plan to—?"

"I don't see any cars here."

"Do you actually mean you're here?"

Ignoring him, Marinette spotted tire tracks forming on the snow on the ground even though...

"Is your car invisible for real!?"

End.

Extra:

"And he told me he loves you, Bruce."

"I didn't say any of that!"

"He also told me he wished he'd be a better son to you."

"Did you really said all that, Damian?"

"No, I didn't!"

"Brat."

[lhs3020b]

Feros - architecture and air pressure

Is Feros the prothean homeworld? I don't think so. Here's why.

Feros is a bit of an oddity. Consider. The surface air pressure is listed as 5.44 Earth atmospheres. This isn't going to squash you - your body is mostly liquid, and liquids are virtually-incompressible. (It's one of the defining characteristics of that state of matter.) However, it is high enough to give you the bends. Living on Feros's surface wouldn't be good for you.

This, presumably, is why the little human colony is all the way up one of those giant towers. Air pressure falls off with altitude; while it will probably still be higher than Earth's, the pressure wherever they are is presumably a lot healthier.

But here we have another puzzle. Whoever built the towers must be tolerant to high pressure - in which case, why build the giant towers? We know they lived on the ground - the game states that "two thirds" of Feros's landmass was urban at one point. The planet was apparently close to being an ecumenopolis. For typical Earth-city population densities, this would imply a population in the hundreds of billions, and potentially even the trillions. Perhaps they were building upwards, after running out of usable land?

Living-space might be one aspect to the towers, certainly. But I think there could be another aspect to it.

Consider Javik. In Mass Effect 3, he needs no special measures to live comfortably-enough on the Normandy. Apparently his respiratory system functions fine in 1 Earth atmosphere. This is less than one fifth that at the surface of Feros. By contrast, even the summit of Mount Everest still has a pressure of 0.33 atmospheres - and for us, that is low enough that it will kill you. (Not instantly; people have summited without supplementary oxygen, but the >7000 metres region isn't called the "death zone" for nothing.)

If Feros was the prothean homeworld, then you would expect that Javik would find conditions on the Normandy rather challenging. As far as I know, he never asks for any specific environmental alterations. (He doesn't even seem to have any difficulties with the local food.)

But there's something else. Javik's appearance is vaguely reptilian. Feros, we're told, may have been a colder world than it is today. Even now, it's not that warm - its average temperature is 10 degrees Celsius, versus 14 C for the Earth. It's roughly equivalent to Earth during an Ice Age, and that's Feros in its unnaturally-warm state! We don't know just how much colder it was in the past. Presumably the average temperature must still have been above 0 degrees C, but even then, this doesn't sound like somewhere that would be a happy place for reptiles.

Nope, Javik isn't from Feros.

So what's going on? A prothean planet with no protheans?

Well, actually, I think we can derive a partial answer. We know from ME3 that the protheans were imperialistic, and they're implied to have forcefully-absorbed several other species into their empire. Feros must have been one of these. Given the environmental constraints, I suspect a prothean ground-invasion may have been unlikely - but perhaps the planet's city-covered nature made it vulnerable to a naval blockade? Anyway, regardless of how they conquered it, it's clear that they did.

And that's where the towers come in.

The towers, I suggest, were built for the convenience of the new prothean ruling elite. That's why they're so high - a mixture of both imperial monument and also to reach up into the lower-pressure layers of the atmosphere.

And - just possibly - this explains why the towers apparently survived the Reaper invasion. We know that they sometimes work by co-opting local elites with indoctrination. They pulled that particular dick move on at least one planet in the Batarian Hegemony. If the towers on Feros were occupied by brain-squicked protheans, doing the Reapers' bidding, then it made sense for them to leave the towers alone. No real point demolishing them or bombing them when they were useful, right? Grim as it is, the scenario does sort of hang together.

The one thing I'm left wondering about is the underlying question of why exactly Feros has such a high air pressure. I'd wondered if perhaps the planet had a very high escape velocity, so perhaps it had been able to trap a denser atmosphere. It turns out Feros's escape velocity is higher than Earth's - 13.4 km/s versus 11.2 km/s - but not by a really-huge amount. Perhaps the colder atmosphere might have been a factor? A lower average particle speed allows the planet's gravity well to trap more gas? Anyway it's not really clear, and escape velocity can't be the only factor. (Venus has a lower escape velocity than the Earth, and is famously-hotter, but also has a surface air pressure around 90 times that of the Earth.)

Food for thought, if maybe not easy answers...

[purplesurveys]

669

What is your favorite color for cars? I always just preferred white cos it looks sleek and elegant on cars. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Something a little off-white, like shades of dirty white so as not to clash with the bride’s white dress. I like to keep things looking neat or minimalist, so I’ve always thought white is the way to go for mostly everything. What is your favorite color? Haha I’m gonna jump ship here, from white to pastel pink. Do you do drugs? Other than the caffeine in my coffee if it counts, no. If not, do you want to try drugs? I’m open to trying the mild(?) ones like weed, not sure if that’s the word for it but yeah. Definitely nothing hard - I’ve watched enough Breaking Bad and BoJack Horseman to see what those can do to the human body lmao.

Where are you dreaming of moving to? I’ve always thought of moving to Canada, but I feel like it’s too far from where I come from and I fear the possibility of ending up lonely and depressed from the distance. Australia or New Zealand seem like safe choices. What do you do to avoid contemplating suicide? I usually get into such a hole when I spend too much time in my room, so when I feel the thoughts coming in I make the effort to get up and move to the living room so I get some light and background noise. It’s usually enough for me. Would you kill yourself if you had no family and friends? What an insensitive and triggering question. Do you love someone who is a jerk and an idiot? My friends have some idiotic tendencies but I do love them, if that counts. Do you know anyone who should be in jail but isn't? I dunno anyone personally but I’ve read a number of cases where criminals escaped jail or got such a short useless sentence. Has a police officer ever committed a crime against you? No but I’ve had grouchy traffic enforcers yell at me for violations I didn’t know about. I’ve gotten pulled over in cities 20, 30 km away from my city and I don’t know the traffic rules for each city, so it pisses me off when I get yelled at for violations I have no idea I committed??? I get so scared driving out of town because of this lol. Do you want more stuff or less stuff? More. I’ve never denied how materialistic I tend to be. Do you own a pair of Lularoe leggings? If so, do you recommend them? No but this question definitely pops up on a lot of these surveys... Do you think shoplifting for a homeless person is ok? No, but I also don’t think anybody ever has to resort to stealing just to get a necessity. Do you wish you could have love? Deep question, but I think I already get enough of it. Have you ever had a pastor tried to kill you? A lot of priests have killed my Christianity, that’s for sure. Do you want to just disappear? I’d get this feeling sometimes, but the urge hasn’t been seriously bad for a while now. What color is your cellphone? The official name is Space Grey but really it’s just a light shade of black. What's your favorite youtube channel right now? I don’t have a favorite that I regularly tune into these days, but I do catch myself watching old Good Mythical Morning episodes from time to time. Who is the cutest baby in your facebook newsfeed? Ate Jarica will sometimes share photos or videos of her twin godkids and they are the cuuuuutest set of twins I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen a more attractive pair of kids. Do you feel terrible today? Yeah I felt a little sluggish all day because the weather’s back to being all warm and tropical and electric fans don’t help anymore cos all they do is blow out hot air lmaoooo. I literally slept from noon to 5 PM just to avoid dealing with the heat. Are there any good churches in your town? I dunno what classifies as a ‘good church’ but I generally don’t trust anything Catholic anymore. Where would you travel to if you had cash and a car? La Union. Are you afraid of where you're going after you die? No. I just see death as permanent sleep and honestly it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Do you sing into your hairbrush? I don’t. What are your favorite songs sung by Christina Grimmie? I never did listen to any of her songs nor was a big fan, but I was destroyed by what happened all the same. Dove Cameron or Hilary Duff? Hilary Duff. Never heard of the other person. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan? Still Hilary. Lizzie McGuire was my life. Who stands out to you as the most down-to-earth celebrity? Hugh Jackman, Tom Hanks, or Jennifer Garner. Have you ever had to live with someone who abused you? Yuh. Do you think attempted murder should be a crime? ...Is it not????? How many people have tried to kill you and gotten away with it? Groan, what are these questions... Are you wondering if there's anywhere you can go where you'll be safe? I don’t wonder about it, I know there’s a couple of places I can go where I know I’ll be kept safe. Why do you think people bully others so much? There’s no one reason for it. They might be insecure, they might be getting abused at home and have no idea how to cope with it, it might be for the simple reason that they’re kids. If you're a bully, why do you do it? Because I got bullied before it. Has anyone ever tried to kill you because they were jealous of you? No wtf? Do you know any racist colored people? Filipinos are among the MOST RACIST people to ever walk this planet, and we’re brown lol. Are you wondering if something that happened to you is sexual abuse or not? No, but these questions are so triggering and offensive that I’ll start deleting future questions that strike me as being such. Which country's flag do you like the best? Nepal’s and Switzerland’s, just because they’re giant middle fingers to all the other flags. Is it hell where you live? Literally, because it’s so hot here; and figuratively, because our government CAN’T DO SHIT. Which big city is your favorite that you've visited? The nightlife in Shanghai was amazing. I wish I got to stay longer there. Which big city do you want to visit that you've never been to before? Chicago. Could you be a contortionist? Never. Do you wish you could make longer survey questions on here? I don’t make surveys. Is your "blocked users" list on facebook long? Not on Facebook, but on Twitter yes. Are you happy? I have days where I am. But I think most days I’m just simply meh. Not happy, but not too said either; and mostly just tired and waiting for the day to end, and trying not to get too burned out while I’m at it. Would you kill someone for money? I don’t think so. Is there anything you care about more than money? Very few things, like my dog and some loved ones. But generally, I’m pretty selfish when it comes to money HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Do you know anyone who would kill for money? Probably.

How many years has it been since you last shared your heart with someone? I’m currently ~sharing it~ if we’re really gonna use that term. But it’s been around four years since I started doing it. Can you remember that last time you had someone who cared about you? Yeah, right now. What's one thing you lose a lot? Pens. Do you know anyone who isn't a bully? I know more non-bullies than bullies. Do you have anyone you can trust? Yep. Which Paramore song do you feel you can relate to the most? Right now it’s probably Caught In The Middle, but only particular lyrics: “I don’t need no help, I can sabotage me by myself, don’t need no one else, I can sabotage me by myself,” and the backing vocals that go with it, “All the glory days are gone, it’s over now, I’m on my own.” Do you have an Invisible Children shirt? I do not. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? Nope. Do you know what Invisible Children is? I wasn’t too familiar with the name at first until I Googled it and the Kony documentary that took YouTube and the world by storm in 2012 came rushing back. Did you have a To Write Love on Her Arms shirt? I did not, but it was the cool campaign to follow like a decade ago lmao. Did you ever celebrate To Write Love on Her Arms Day? I’m sure I did, or at least Tumblr made us celebrate it back then. What holiday is closest to your birthday? It’s usually Easter Sunday. Has anyone ever made your birthday miserable? Yes. Who do you dream of getting revenge on the most? I don’t think of that these days. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? Blue. Are you more boho, hipster, scene, sporty, or girly? I dunno, girly I guess? I don’t really fit into the other types. Fringe or lace? Lace. Dinosaurs or unicorns? Dinosaurs. Do you have a mandala tapestry? I do not. Elephants or koalas? Elephants. What's your favorite Japanese name? I don’t think I have one. I don’t really have enough of a grasp on Japanese names to figure out which ones sound nice to me. Do you wonder if there will ever be anyone who cares about you? There are a number people I know who do. Have you ever shopped at Sleeping Tiger Imports? No. Do you believe in unicorns? No. Do you believe in mermaids? No. Would your rather have wings or fins? Idk, wings. Do you wish you had parents that loved you? They do. Do you own any bellbottoms? No. Do you want to move away? I’ve been planning it a lot, yeah. Can you remember a time when you weren't lonely? Honestly I don’t think so. Have you ever been loved? I am right now. Who do you love the most? Gab. Do you love anyone? ^ Who was the best camp counselor you've ever had? Never went. Are you jealous of anyone? Sure.

[regularlyfe]

you know, every once and a while I really get to thinking about the big plot details of the TAZ Balance arc and Lucretia’s whole thing really fucks me up.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore her, and no one is their best self in truly desperate situations, let alone something like what she was going through, but so many of the choices she made...

Like I’m not even going to cover the whole mind wipe thing because what happened to Davenport is literally my worst nightmare with not even a shred of hyperbole, I’m just gonna focus rn on the whole “cutting the planar system off from the Prime Material plane,” because that alone is a whole mountain plus some.

So like the details of her plan, if I recall correctly, were that she would cast an abjuration spell, powered by the Light of Creation, around the whole of the Prime Material plane in order to shield the Light from the Hunger’s scouts, and eventually starve the Hunger out.

That’s a fantastic plan if there aren’t any consequences, like all the logic is sound. You don’t have to figure out how to kill the giant vore monster, you don’t have to dump a bunch of incredibly powerful, incredibly dangerous, and guaranteed to be used artifacts on some unsuspecting inhabitants, it’s just a waiting game, and then you’re done.

But like immediately the consequences were recognized and pointed out. The bonds between the Prime Material plane and the rest of the planar system would be severed, and all the planes would starve, wasting away and dying.

The inhabitants of 12 planes of reality would die.

Now I know that DnD universes tend to be smaller in population than our particular world, but even if we reduce the population of each entire plane to that of a single planet, say earth-scale, that is a LOT of lifeforms.

Ignoring the current, generous, estimation of 8 billion humans, there are estimates ranging between 8.7 million to of 11.3 million with a few going upwards of a billion and to scales of a trillion in accounting for deep water microbial life in numbers of species.

So let’s be generous and assume a biodiversity count at around 10 million species, getting rid of the microbes and adding some of the magical creatures.

Did you know the online world atlas estimates about 900 million dogs exist on the planet today? 7.8 billion humans exist in our world. 1.5 billion cows. 2 million rats in New York City alone, and that’s 784 sq km out of all flat land on the planet being 148.94 million sq km. Mice, squirrels, and bats are considered to be on the same scale as the rats.

But let’s continue to ere on the conservative side here and go with the average population per species be somewhere around raccoon level. In North America, the estimated raccoon population is between 5 and 10 million, and the global population is estimated to be around 20 million and rising.

So let’s go with 15 million. Again, trying to be conservative with our numbers.

These assumptions brought together, we are saying each plane - note that the Prime Material plane encompasses and entire universe - only has one, sparsely inhabited, earth-sized planet’s (or equivalent) worth of population. And that population is broken down to approximately 10 million species with 15 million members per species.

Now a lot of this is incredibly hand-wavy and vague - I am definitely not an ecologist - but I feel like for estimating a fantasy planar system’s population while giving the Director the benefit of the doubt by assuming low, this has at least some grounding.

So we have 12 planes, with 10,000,000 species each, and 15,000,000 members per species.

This would ultimately be 12*10,000,000*15,000,000 lifeforms.

1,800,000,000,000,000 lifeforms.

1.8 million billion lifeforms.

Numbers like these tend to make more sense when translated into into terms of time, so say, if each lifeform equated a single second, then that would be over 57 million years.

And this is a generous estimate.

This is a possible number of lives that could be lost if Lucretia had succeeded in putting her plan into action.

**And, I just want to say as a quick aside here, I forgot about the ethereal plane, which a checked to make sure it did in fact have inhabitants (it does), which bumped this from 11 to 12 planes. That was an increase of 150,000,000,000,000 lifeforms, or ~4,700,000 years - remembering that each second of those years is a life - from the time translation. It’s hard to see that significance when the majority of the characters in a number are 0, so I just wanted to make that clear.

Now the relics definitely had incredibly high death counts. I’d say it’s reasonable to argue that those counts would be comparable to the counts of our wars, and not to rehash any specifics, but out all pre-history, midieval, and modern wars the highest estimates remained in the tens of millions, no higher than 85 million deaths.

Of course, without saying, that is an utterly horrifying number of lives lost. But that versus not just one people’s lives lost, but the entirety of a set of world’s existence?

That’s a scale difference in the realm of 10s of million, specifically around 21,176,470 times larger in size.

I know the ethical dilemma of arguing the value of one life versus the value of many is an age old debate, but when it comes to person-scale war versus the destruction of not one but eleven universes?

Literally the choice to allow people to fight each other with absurdly dangerous magic versus allowing all of this planar system’s existence to waste to nothingness?

Which, mind you, the destruction of entire planar systems is exactly what the Hunger was doing. The crew of the Starblaster was trying to stop all that.

This is not just a mass extinction event, it’s the end of everything to this planar system, changing it in a way such that it will never produce any semblance of life again. Like in Cycle 82 when the Plane of Magic vivisected the Prime Material Plane, life in the whole system was destroyed, as the system no longer functioned in a way that could sustain anything more meaningful than shells of what had been before.

Like optimistically, the Hunger starves before the Planar System does, and minimal casualties occur. But the Hunger has the energy of Many, Many, Many more planar systems, just like, in it. Because who knows how long it had been consuming these things before the crew showed up.

So really, the best case is that the planar system changes, and everything designed to function in the previous flow of the system dies, the Hunger dies, and eventually life that can function in this new, changed system comes into being after, I don’t know, another universe, that jives with the new flow, is made within the Prime Material Plane?

I feel like this is a case of preferring an semi-unknown to a clear known.

Because the crew has seen powerful artifacts, citing a 5 wizards out of 7 party. And they have a solid grasp on the power levels of the Light, citing both the time spent with it to build the Starblaster and the entirety of the Stolen Century. So it’s pretty clear what the consequences of supercharging some enchanted artifacts with the Light and dropping them on some unsuspecting planet will be.

Especially if these artifacts are 100% definitely going to be used due to Craveability.

They had to have seen, and likely fairly up close, the kind of damage that heavy-hitting magical artifacts plus the Light of Creation can do in the previous century, just not in the precise configuration of the artificing plan sets up.

Where as they haven’t ever actively cut off a Prime Material Plane from the rest of the system. Sure, they had spent years studying planar systems as members of the IPRE and they had the whole century to observe planar systems in many configurations. Enough to develop an incredibly solid hypothesis of what would happen, but they never really saw something similar in action.

But 6 out of the 7 members of the crew were able to see the possible consequence of “The whole planar system would slowly, painfully starve to death in literally every way possible,” and decided “yeah, fuck that,” save for Lucretia.

And I know we can get attached to our own ideas, but when you see violent wars versus the collapse of all of this planar system’s existence?

Like don’t get me wrong, the relics were pretty dang bad, but to not even trust the crew so far as to try to persuade an adjustment of the relic plan once the damage started getting truly awful?

Just jumping straight to, “I guess I should erase all of their memories of the people closest to them, and dropping them in a world where they now have LITERALLY no one”?

I digress on the memory thing, I did say I was gonna keep that out of this post, but seriously.

If she couldn’t trust the crew as her family to agree with her that the relics were bad, and maybe they should try something else because it was tearing their family apart as much as it was tearing apart the world down below; couldn’t she at least trust them (and herself) as a committee of literally All of Existence’s foremost experts on planar systems, the Light of Creation, and the Hunger, and if 6 out of 7 experts can conclude the catastrophic end of ta planar system from severing the bonds between its planes, maybe she should consider it too?

Like, they didn’t write her off out of spite or a lack of faith in her magic ability. They just said that they’d rather some wars ravage a particular plane until maybe they could find something better instead of initiating total planar collapse.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #219

“make a move and you pay for it; pick a lord and you pray to it.”

Do you actually love your grandpa? I don't really remember either of mine. I do from what I remember and have learned of them, though. Do you actually love your grandma? I don't remember my dad's mom at all, but I mean, I love her simply for being my dad's mother, who loved her. My mom's mom, yeah, even though she's. Hard to like a lot of the time. Do you have Facebook? Yes. What was the last thing you posted on someone’s wall? A birthday post. Do you have MySpace? My old one still exists, but I sure haven't been on it since it was current. What is your favorite kind of music? Heavy metal. Favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is actually cocaine to me rip. Favorite food? Probably like... pepperoni pizza or cheeseburgers. I'm a full-blooded 'Merican. Have you ever felt replaced? OH, HAVE I! Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. Do you ever regret making a friend? I don't think so. Can you cure mental illness? I don't know about cure, but you can certainly learn how to handle it better and alleviate symptoms. Is God good? Define "God." Cats or dogs? Kitties. Do you play video games? Yeah, but I don't play nearly the variety that I used to. Do you take medication for mental health? Yes. Can you really be racist to a white person? No shit? Do you have a favorite hair accessory? What does it look like? No. What’s your favorite type of insect? Butterflies. What’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? Larvae, like maggots. Disgusting. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What did you say? What’s his/her favorite food? Idk and I don't feel like checking. I rarely use it. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White is a mood with my mad-at-God-24/7 ass. It needs to stop honestly. I've become so hateful about religion. Not towards followers, mind you, just the concept itself. I could write a novel on this, but I don't feel like it. Just me and organized religion don't get along anymore. Have you ever slept in a water bed? On a water mattress, yeah. How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? Never tried, not for me. Sounds messy. Does your ex have a job? My most recent, I guess you mean? Yeah. Have you ever slept in a car? Yeah, on long drives to like New York and stuff. What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? *checks phone* "Sweetie." How often do you use Flickr? Never. I can't log into my account anymore since Yahoo said "fuck u Britt," so there's no point. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend so y'know like- Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? We very much disliked each other at first, so... guess, lmao. Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? Eh, that's a mystery... Juan was very sweet to me, but I know he had a bad rep. I didn't really see how he interacted with others. How’s your appetite atm? It's normal. I'm not currently hungry. Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? Sara randomly and excitedly texted me to tell me "Welcome to the Jungle" was on at work, which was on the radio both when I was there and she was here, so she thought of how much she missed me lakdjsfkalwe I smiled my face in half. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? Eh, it wasn't awful. It was for my school ID. What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. My sis went and said it was 1.) insane and 2.) disgusting. If you were five years younger but knew everything at that age that you’ve actually learned over the last five years, what is one thing you would definitely do differently? Go to the partial hospitalization program way sooner. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? To earn a happy, content future. What activity that you have to do every once in a while that you dread the most? "Every once in a while," I'd say clean Mitsu's cage. She is such a strange rat. Enjoys pets, but being picked up is a no sir. When people hear what you do for a living, what is the most typical question or comment they give you regarding your job? N/A If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? I'd probably write a poem. I know I wouldn't draw 'cuz fuck no am I doing so with a pen. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Uhhh. Idk. Anything I can think of, like lightning, I've seen because of the Internet. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? Probably like, young adult fiction/fantasy, something like that. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Lately, take one of my mood stabilizers. I need to get the box out... aaaand forget every day. I haven't felt any different without it tho so like... If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion, maybe. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? I'm not spending time musing over something that serious lakaljdsfawe. Would you ever travel to Africa? Hell yes. I desperately want to go to South Africa on the Tswalu Kalahari tour. Whose house were you last at? Besides my own, my older sister's. Have you ever had a near-death experience? I guess this depends on how near death you mean. I've been in one car accident that my mom managed to make minor only by being a good driver; realistically, we should've flipped, according to the cop. My mom just acted quickly enough. Then I heavily ODed, but I was given more than enough fluids in time to keep me surprisingly okay. I don't know what would've happened if I hadn't told Mom so quickly, and I don't care to think about it. I'm fucking lucky and don't want to think about what could've happened. Have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game? Tbh I myself could've been in this position when my depression was so bad, but then there's factors to that that lean towards it just having been a preference versus addiction. Idk. It's not a problem anymore so not worth debating over. Have you ever been fingered? That was the first cheat when you chose abstinence lmao. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch or listen to something on YouTube. What video game have you played the most? So in WoW you can actually type in /played to see how long you've played JUST that one character up to the years (or maybe days?) down to seconds and. I will never type it in lmao. Ongoing games are v depressing. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? No, those are thankfully gone. What is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? Be helplessly and openly in love with imaginary demons while dating each other lmao (she's a Freeza fanatic). When and why did you last cry? The second day of school because of math class. When was the last time you drank? I think like... back on the 4th of July. Or some days after 'cuz I know Mom and I didn't finish the container in one night. Do you wear jewelry a lot? Just my piercings, really. Save for on my ear lobes because the holes on the left are fucked up, yay. I'm going to wind up just slightly stretching the first holes when I can afford a small kit; actual studs or hoops look stupid. Never wanted gauges until the holes got too stretched by the weight of hoops; now something needs to be there. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's (who doesn't even live here...) dog Bentley. I hate him and he doesn't like me. No, that doesn't mean I mistreat a pet. He's just a pain in the goddamn ass. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? My mom. I don't know what would happen to me or how I'd cope at this time. Honestly, would you rather be single or in a relationship? I'm happier in a healthy relationship. Do any of your friends not get along at all? No. I mean, not that I know of. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? I'd be LOST without YouTube, then KM follows up close. #3, uh... Facebook or Tumblr, I suppose. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? No. Well, I do have a little book of Disney World character autographs, but I don't think that really counts. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? We use Wal-mart. Who is your favorite model? Sara is a gd model don't even @ me about it. What have you done that is out of character for you? The Joel thing is the most anti-Brittany thing I've ever done for sure. I can't think of anything more current that stands out, unless it's- NO WAIT, this was quite a few months ago, but I firmly stood against an opinion my psychiatrist made known. He's very talkative and open as hell about his beliefs in current events, and he said something about pit bulls where I was just like... um no sir. I wasn't going to be rude though to HIM of all people so just said I don't base dogs by their breed and shut up. Awkward silence and we moved on. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? LGBT acceptance and rights. I already protest by having given up Chic-fil-a okay I care y'all. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? Who knows... What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? Idk. I'm lucky to not have really been told that... What are you most thankful for? Thinking it all over, probably being born where I am. Boy is America FUCKED UP in some places, but boy would I be in a MUCH worse place if I was born in, say, North Korea, between my mental issues, sexuality, and opinions that can go to either end of the spectrum. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I love them! You can find the coolest, wackiest shit. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy with a passion. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? I genuinely think I'm a nice person that has other's well-being in mind. What is priceless to you? Love, in any form. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhh. I guess more than anything, I'm proud of my distant cousin for her unwavering love for and loyalty to her daughter when it came to escaping the Middle East and her dictatorial husband. Read Not Without My Daughter, it's great. Do you keep a budget? I don't have an income. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Rested, a good night's sleep following being truly exhausted. Refreshed, oh man, gimme a hot, long shower. Who depends on you the most? Nobody. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Hell no. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. I was entirely convinced the world would literally end if Jason left. That night still doesn't feel real. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? Colleen and Mom once fought after I'd ignored her, so I guess? It wasn't my wish or anything though for her to do it; Mom had shit to say by her own volition, and I wasn't going to tell my mother "no you can't do that." Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? No? Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? Nope. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. What embarrasses you instantly? A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!! It is SO easy to embarrass me, including second-handedly. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Hell no, I'm most certainly not in the necessary shape, and quite honestly I'm not that willing to risk my life for random people that could be assholes. What do you think should be censored? Idk. I have mixed feelings on censorship, no matter how stupid it seems. Eh... yeah, idk. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Queen Victoria and William Clark. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Depends on who and obviously if we're even compatible. Have you ever fired a gun? No. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Sincerely caring for them, probably. Who is a female role model in your life? My mom, in some ways. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Jfc a lot, I don't want to think about it. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My future, honestly. It's hard picturing my elderly days. Like I'm not suicidal anymore, I just don't really... realize I'll get there, I guess. I can't picture myself being old and alive. Would you travel to space if possible? No, too long of a trip. Are you an optimistic person? I'm a realist. Do you consider yourself more realistic OR idealistic? ^ Have you ever felt bi-curious? I started out accepting myself as bisexual through thinking myself as bicurious. I quickly realized "bisexual" was more accurate than "bicurious," but it was an easier thing to shift acceptance towards in regards to yourself when you thought you were straight for 21 years. Are you a fan of U.S. President Donald Trump? No sir. I agree with some of his ideas, but I hate him as an asshole person without a trace of manners. Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Multiple. I'd assume most people know someone who fits at least one criterion there. Are you green-eyed? Not exactly, but they definitely have a green hue to them. They're a gray/green blue. Would you consider UFC fighting and WWE real sports events? I think it's beyond debate that a lot of it is staged, but I mean, I guess to a degree? You still have to fight. It's physical exertion. Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? No. Wait. I can't remember if my grandmother had cancer or not... but I don't think so. She was just old. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? An office, definitely. In my work-hunting as well as actual work experience, office work is probably the only job I could actually do that doesn't require a degree... Do you have a favorite wild animal? Why? You can't know me and not be fully aware meerkats are my favorite animal. Why? Ho boy. I love social species, and meerkats have such strong personalities, and holy shit are those little things brave as fuck. They're so GOSH DARN CUTE!!!! too, and their loyalty to each other is astounding. I love how playful and curious the little guys are, and... just wow okay, I could write an actual essay on how I adore meerkats so goddamn much. Do you have any unusual, uncommon phobias? I'm sure there are other people afraid of whale sharks, but I don't think it's common? And is an actual phobia of pregnancy uncommon? Idk. Do you prefer Android or iPhone? I hate my Android. I've had an iPhone in the past, and it was great. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? All, depending on my mood. Most often I'd say I like sweet. Do you believe climate change is real? We can't be friends if you don't. Do you believe in evolution OR creationism? Evolution. Do you think people can really predict the future? Nah. Have you been to a lot of shrinks? I hate that word. Just call them therapists. But yeah. How often do you clean your room? Not often enough. I need to dust... Any movies coming out soon that you want to see? I DESPERATELY wanna see the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" one. Those books were my CHILDHOOD. What was the last fear you overcame? I don't know about totally overcame, but vocational rehab helped me quite a bit with answering the phone to numbers I didn't recognize. Have you ever hurt yourself trying to crack a body part? No, nothing on me really cracks. Well no, both my big toes do, but no, I haven't hurt myself trying to crack them. What’s the worst part about winter? The days where it's cold BUT ALSO WINDY asdkljfaklwej;awe Summer? It's too fucking hot and probably humid, too. Spring? POLLEN. Fall? Literally nothing. :') Are you allergic to anything? Pollen and silver. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Like, once. Which country has the most fascinating culture? Oh boy, idk. Who does your favorite song? Idrk what my current favorite song is. I say my all-time fave is "False Flags" by Massive Attack, but it's not something I constantly wanna listen to. I guess you could maybe say it's "Headache" by Motionless In White; I play and repeat that a lot. I've really been digging them lately. When was the last time you wore makeup? Shit dude, idk. Months ago. Do you prefer males or females or both? I'm generally afraid of men, but I mean, I don't "prefer" one over the other if he's a good guy. Where in your town do you go when you wanna chill with a few friends? I don't have any friends I go out with. But there's nowhere to go here anyway. Where’s the best place to get coffee? N/A Have you ever seen someone struggle with an addiction? My dad was an alcoholic, but he's recovered. He loved (idk if he still does it) fantasy football, too. Pretty sure I got my addictive personality from him, lol. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Early 2017. Do you like cranberry juice? omfg NO. Do you play any zombie-killing video games? The Last of Us is fucking dope, but I didn't finish it before my PS3 broke. :'( I like the Resident Evil series too, and some of those games have zombies or similar creatures. And The Walking Dead game tears my heart out every fucking season. What is the dominating genre on your mp3 player/iPod? Varying forms of metal. Do you have a book shelf? No. What website do you spend way too much time on? YouTube is ALWAYS open. I constantly either watch let's players and a few other kinds of YTers, moving windows around so I can see it and do other things, or listen to music. Do you like wind chimes? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!! WINDCHIMES!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a fetish? No. Do you have a pet fish? No. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful and calming, but not worth it for me personally. They don't have much of a personality at all, and cleaning a tank so much for just a fish isn't for me. Do you like kettle corn? (That sweet and salty popcorn) Yessss! Do you enjoy classic rock? Hell yeah, man. When was the last time you went for a walk, just cause? Not since I was at Sara's last. Do you listen to Type O Negative? No. Do you have any fillings or cavities? Yeah. Have you gotten your wisdom teeth taken out yet? No, and thankfully I don't need to. One was very close to needing to be, but it has just enough room. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? "Depending on what I’m signing up for, I’m likely to at least skim it." <<< This. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I had a party every year up to... idk what age. And no, I only invited friends. Do you like when things are color coordinated? Yes. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? Yeah, and no. Can you juggle? Nope. Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? Who hasn't? How often do you use bobby pins? Never. My hair's really too short for them. Well, I'd probably pin the right side up if I was doing something like cleaning. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? Blue and white. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? Actually yeah. Do you like Nerds candy? Yes I do.

[torontothoughts]

I’m one of those people who keeps a bucket list. It changes, grows and adapts as I get older, as I cross some things out and yes, as I outgrow some. But there’s always a few “someday I want to…” things that I never seem to get around to doing. And this year, I decided to stop waiting for someday and just did one of them. I was going to hike, or rather walk, the West Highland Way (WHW), solo. Or at least about half of it.

A couple of things happened to force the “you only live once” epiphany on me and one was a random article I read online at lunch about hiking solo in Scotland. It lead me to a bit of research and reading, and by the end of the day, I had decided not to wait any longer on finding someone who wanted to walk it with me. You see, one of the major things that was holding me back from doing the West Highland Way – pretty much the only thing – was I didn’t have anyone to walk it with me.

And walking the West Highland Way was on my bucket list. The West Highland Way, a 154 km (96 mile) trail from Milngavie (a suburb of Glasgow) to Fort William is one of the most popular and iconic hikes/walks in Scotland. Most people complete it in 5-8 days, but others do it in sections or only a part of it as I did. You’ll pass beautiful natural scenery including Loch Lomond, Rannoch Moor, Glencoe, Devil’s Staircase, and Ben Nevis. While you can wild camp (or camp at many of the accommodations along the way), if you want to stay at a hostel, B&B or hotel, book in advance (depending on the time of year, you may need to book months in advance) as it’s quite a popular route, especially from May to September. I booked mine in late February (for early May) and many places were already full.

So how did I prepare?

Two ways. First, as I knew I’d be walking 15-25 km each day, I wanted to up my walking game. I regularly walk 5-10 most days so I wasn’t overly worried but it was a long, icy winter here in Toronto so I hadn’t been walking as much as normal. Once the spring thaw got rid of most of the snow and ice, I used my old marathon training plan to increase my walking distance gradually over about 8 weeks. I also used it as an excuse to explore Toronto’s trails more and found a couple of new favourites (we do have some great outdoor spaces for a major city). But as someone who loves walking and who walks everywhere, I wasn’t overly worried about the distances, especially after getting in some trail time here.

The other way I got ready was to read and research. I’m a big believer in researching my travels, especially when going solo as I often do, and as this would be my first long distance solo hike/walk, I wanted to be prepared. I bought Walking The West Highland Way by Terry Marsh, read dozens of blog posts, visited different tour websites and of course, read everything on the official West Highland Way website.

This allowed me to understand where I wanted to start (Tyndrum), where I’d be walking each day and where I should stop each night. The research also let me know that I needed to book my accommodation in advance and gave some great recommendations on where to stay. I booked everything about two months in advance (late February/early March for early May) and while I ended up with my first choice in three of the five places, I had to go with my second choice in the other two stops (still great hostels though).

It also helped me refine my normal travel packing list (I have one I simply adjust based on the destination and time of year) to include the needs of a multi-day walk/hike. You can see what I packed here.

How was the West Highland Way?

Amazing! I am so very glad that I went. I’m also very glad that I went solo. Sure, I would have loved to have gone with friends, in which case I would have done the entire walk not just basically the latter half, but doing it solo gave me such a sense of accomplishment and allowed me to connect with the environment around me in a way I wouldn’t have been able to if I had others with me. I enjoy spending time alone and I enjoy traveling alone so there was no issue with loneliness. Walking it solo meant I could walk at my own pace, stop where I wanted (I took so many photos), and enjoy the solitude.

For those worried about safety, I was never truly alone and Scotland is safe for women traveling alone (just take the same precautions you would at home). Walking the West Highland Way in May meant there were lots of others walking it as well. While there were times, especially when I was on Rannoch Moor, that I couldn’t see another person, I knew that all I had to do was wait for 5 minutes, 10 tops, and another walker would appear. And most of the time, there were others in sight, if not right around me. I met some lovely fellow walkers, both on the trail and at the hostels I stayed at. One day, a group of walkers and I played leap frog (unintentionally) and we ended up meeting again at the Kingshouse Hotel.

The West Highland Way is also well marked and the trail is easy to follow. That being said, you should still have a map (and know how to read it), as well as a basic first aid kit, just in case. Tell others where you’ll be, where you’re staying, check in – the same things you’d do traveling solo anywhere.

Keep reading for a day by day accounting of my fabulous time walking the West Highland Way…

May 6 – Travel day to Tyndrum

I hopped on a train from Glasgow to Tydrum and it was a beautiful ride. The stop before mine, the train split in two trains, with one half heading to Oban and the other to Mallaig. Because of an out-of-order washroom, they had the people from the front two cars switch with those in the back two. One of the train staff told me I could stay where I was (I was in one of the cars switching) which meant I ended up at Tyndrum Upper rather than Lower, but that just meant I walked about 1/2 km further so no big deal. Plus, the view of the valley made up for it. I checked into my hobbit house (so cute but it would be tight with more than two people, great for one person) and went into the village to get some food – fish & chips (yummy) for dinner, a sandwich for tomorrow’s lunch and a small bottle of whisky so I can have a dram each night. Off to bed early so I’m rested for my first day of walking. Okay, that didn’t work as the temp plummeted and there was a bit of a storm overnight but thankfully there was heating as it was needed.

May 7 (day 1) – Tyndrum to Bridge of Orchy

(6 ½ miles/10.5 km)

A simple, fairly easy hike, that even with my many, many stops for photos took under 3 hours. It was a beautiful start to my West Highland Way experience, especially with the new snow on the tops of the mountains from last night, if a bit wet for the first hour. Mostly flat, with gorgeous views. The snow from the storm the night before was lovely, and a reminder that the weather in Scotland is all over the place as I was in a t-shirt the day before.

I stayed at the West Highland Sleeper, a small hostel on the Bridge of Orchy train station (the station is still a stop but isn’t manned anymore so someone converted the building into a 10 bed hostel). After checking in and grabbing my bag, I had a lovely risotto at the Bridge of Orchy Hotel (just down the street) for dinner with another girl staying in the hostel before getting an early night’s sleep.

May 8 – Bridge of Orchy to Kingshouse

(12 miles/19.5 km) – my phone said I walked 20 km

I got an early start, well, early for me, as everyone in the hostel, all 10 of us, left early. I started out with five others but three quickly outpaced me and two fell behind. The view at the top of the hilltop outside Bridge of Orchy of Loch Tulla was amazing (northern hillside of Ben Inverveigh). After a brief pitstop at Inveronan Hotel, I continued on past a mossy forest (it looked creepy, like it would be a good place to film a horror film but it was all fenced off) up to Rannoch Moor. 

Luckily the weather was mostly good, just a bit windy (okay, it was pretty much always windy), the sun even came out! Briefly but I have photos. Rannoch Moor is haunting. Beautiful but haunting. My only bitch were the large stones/rocks on the path (which turned out to be my only problem with the WHW) – they varied in size from gravel (fine to walk on) to the size of my fist to almost the size of my head. Which meant not only did you have to pay attention to your feet but it did make for slightly sore feet and very un-even walking. But if that’s the worst, I can’t really complain. I played leap frog with a group walking together pretty much all the way across Rannoch Moor which was cute – I’d pass them when they took a break, they’d pass me when I took a break…

I arrived at the Kingshouse Hotel a little before 2:00 pm (I made good time across the Moor, even with my breaks) so I ordered a pot of tea, which was becoming my ritual each day, to enjoy while I killed time until check-in at 3:00 pm. It’s a super friendly and helpful place, the front desk staff person actually walked me to the luggage room. Other than not being able to access wifi in the Kingshouse bunkhouse, I’d totally recommend it. Actually, I’d totally recommend the place anyways.

After checking in and showering, I went and had an early dinner (5:00 pm, almost unheard of for me) of a delicious venison pie (flaky crust, meat filled, one of my best meals of the trip) and a pint before heading back to the bunkhouse to chill. It was going to be an early night. On the way back to the bunkhouse, I saw the resident buck which was a bit disconcerting given what I just ate for dinner.

May 9 – Kingshouse to Kinlochleven

8 ¾ miles/14 km (my phone said I walked 15 km)

I started the day about 8:30 am and it was a lovely, sunny morning. Still a bit chilly from the wind but I was coming to expect that. It was an up & down day that started with a small climb and descent before a short trek alongside the road for a bit. Then the real climb started, which meant more breaks to catch my breath as I’m not really used to ascents. But the views! The views more than made up for it – absolutely stunning! In every direction, mountains, hills, valleys, lakes… just gorgeous. A bit of up and down as the WHW followed along the side (most of the way up but not along the ridge) of a hillside for quite a way before a rather steep descent into Kinlochleven. The descent was a bit hard on the knees and required attention as the road was rocks, not gravel. Overall, once I was down though, I felt fine. 

I was glad to have a private, if pricy (it would have been a normal price if split three ways as there were three beds but one of the only downsides of traveling solo is there’s no one to split the costs with), room for the night at Blackwater Hostel, as tomorrow was my long day. Good place to stay though. After checking in, I headed into the village to explore, eat (mac & cheese and the obligatory pot of tea) and grab some food supplies at the store (fruit, milk, chocolate, and juice). The pub had a lovely view of the river so I chilled there for a while drinking my pot of tea.

May 10 – Kinlochleven to Fort William

16 miles/24 km – my phone said I walked 24.7 km

Warning: girl problems mentioned in this segment…

Wow! 24.7 km. Other than my two marathons, that’s a record for me. The weather was a bit challenging at the end – there was even hail for about a minute and rain for about 4 km (45 minutes to an hour) – but the real challenge was it was unexpectedly the first day of my period (3 days early, wtf) which meant I was crampy and the Advil wore off about halfway in the 7 hour hike. Otherwise, it was good. Well, except for the last 3-4 km when my feet were screaming at me (pavement after a long hike isn’t your friend). But no blisters! So glad I splurged on good Merino wool blend hiking socks.

Okay, let’s backtrack. The day started off lovely, sunny and warm, with a short if steep climb out of Kinlochleven to lovely views of the town/village and Loch Leven. A bit more of a climb and then I entered the “lost valley” (sorry, that’s how I thought of it after reading the descriptions) came into view. Absolutely stunning! Some of my favourite photos of my trip are from this segment. And it was sunny at the start but the rains were coming by the end (although I didn’t actually get hit by rain until later). Despite the now hated rocks in the path, it was a gorgeous walk. The weather started to turn as I entered Nevis forest but only briefly as there was more sun – it was one of those days when at different times I was in a t-shirt; a t-shirt and fleece; a t-shirt and rain jacket; and a t-shirt, fleece and rain jacket… in no particular order. I think I would have lingered more if I wasn’t in a race to a toilet at the end (knowing the walk would take about 7 hours and it would be close). Sure, I was prepared (if necessary) but I really, really didn’t want to change my tampon in the wild as it’s not like Canadian wilderness, there weren’t a lot of trees to duck behind to grab a chance for privacy.

As Ben Nevis came into view (briefly because of the weather) what would have been a lovely walk along a ridge (the views) if not for the weather that had been threatening for the past hour, finally arriving. First by obscuring Ben Nevis, and then with hail. Hail! Luckily it didn’t last long and I was wearing a baseball hat. The hail turned into rain for the next 40 minutes or so of walking in pretty hard, although not pouring, rain. My hiking shoes held up beautifully. 

But it meant I didn’t go off the trail to the fort as I was planning – well, because of both the rain and the need for a bathroom sooner rather than later.

As the WHW merged with a logging road, the rain slowly let up and by the bottom, the sun had come out again (and I was back to a t-shirt). The descent was much more gradual than the one into Kinlochleven, and the road smoother, which both my feet and knees appreciated. And once I hit the road, there was public bathrooms at the Ben Nevis Visitor’s Center which meant I could stop stressing about washrooms. So for the last portion of the WHW, on pavement, the only issue was the increasing soreness in my feet (which went away after a couple of hours of rest).

I cheated a bit as I stopped at my hostel (Fort William Backpackers, a friendly hostel), checked in and showered before hitting the “new” end of the WHW before dinner. I’d already passed the original end though. Dinner was a fish & chips and a pint of beer, appropriately called “West Highland Way”.

Final Thoughts

I’m so glad I solo walked a part of the West Highland Way. It was an amazing, beautiful experience. My whole Scotland trip (more on that in a later article) was fabulous but the walk was something else, something rewarding. For those worried about doing it solo, with proper preparation, it’s completely doable. And of course, there’s no reason you can’t walk it with friends or family. I highly recommend it and can’t wait for my next walk in Scotland… maybe the Malt Whisky Trail or I’ll just explore Orkney on foot.

Have you walked the West Highland Way? What was your experience like?

Walking the West Highland Way, Another Bucket List Checkmark I’m one of those people who keeps a bucket list. It changes, grows and adapts as I get older, as I cross some things out and yes, as I outgrow some.

[likenothingnameable]

When Last Did You Take Your Tortoise for a Walk?

The art of walking in the 21st century, a lifelong learning

By: Justin Mah

“Balancing yourself with your arms set flawlessly straight like a marching foot soldier in the Canadian Forces, you were walking before any of your cousins,” my mom recalls with a touch of amusement. For reasons remaining muddled by my subconscious, I skipped the intermediate motor-development phase of crawling altogether and, at just eight months, reached out into the world in front of me and discovered an abiding love for walking—one that, many a worn-out and pockmarked soles later, has reverberated to the present.

In his walking reverie, The Walk, Robert Wasler writes, “A pleasant walk most often veritably teems with imageries, living poems, attractive objects, natural beauties, be they ever so small…. without walking, I would be dead.” Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap—the faint thump of my own steps, the sweet sound of my second heartbeat.

With little fuss, at the age of three, with scuffed Velcro sneakers and my fluorescent-blue security blanket in tow, I’d stroll around the 4.9 km circuit trail at Burnaby’s Central Park with my mom, a preternaturally brisk walker. I’ve imagined her often, in some parallel universe, eking out a living in the urban bustle of Singapore, home to the fastest pedestrians on the planet according to studies.

Today, with thirty-five years of walking now behind me, that we have felt inclined to study walking speeds at all, says to me every bit about our attempts to outpace those around us. Evading the immediacy of the present in search of fugitive alleviation from the reality of our own flesh-and-bones mortality, we readily employ our lower limbs exclusively for the purpose of getting from A to B.

Pushing against the trapping of an A-to-B mentality emptied of vitality is easier said than done in a culture that lionizes “efficiency” and “productivity.” The earth and its natural ecosystems has beared its most injurious consequences, but for how much longer will it be able to withstand our recklessness? In The Rings of Saturn, a novel borne out of a walking tour of the eastern coast of England, German writer and indefatigable walker W. G. Sebald offers an alternative that calls for the cultivation of a more present, naked form of attention. “It was as if I had been walking for hours before the tiled roofs of houses and the crest of a wooded hill gradually became defined,” he writes of his sojourn to the town of Dunwich. Here, between A and B, is an in-between full of sensorial possibility that Sebald experiences and brings to life with exquisite detail, roof tiles and all.

In my adulthood, I’ve cultivated my own practice of trying to be more purposeful in my walking—slowing down enough to see a familiar spot anew; relishing in the quiet offered by an early Sunday morning walk, wherein I fall into awareness of my in-breath and the pitter-patter of my own footsteps—tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap; weaving with the faint voices of the CBC wafting out into the balmy air through a window ajar, the rhythmic swooshing of branches of fir cast penumbral across the sidewalk, painterly. And—out-breath.

As a kid, well before I heard of Paris’ French flaneurs—the eminent saunterers, strollers, idlers—of the 19th century who would amble purposelessly through the city’s famous shopping arcades, my father ushered in what he coined a “city walkabout.” My little brother and I fell so in love with the concept that it would win out over such other favourite activities as scouring the ‘Action’ and ‘Comedy’ shelves at Blockbuster, combing through the collection trove at the neighbourhood comic shop, or visiting our much beloved arcade, Circuit Circus. Relegating these alluring options aside, we’d plead, as children so do best, for our dad to take us out on a walkabout, an adventure that, above all, held the possibility of the unexpected. We’d walk and walk in winding, circuitous fashion through Vancouver’s cityscape, stopping for a bite when our stomachs could no longer be ignored, strolling till our feet throbbed, pulsed. Afterward, our feet still buzzing, drunk on kinetic motion, we’d proudly tumble horizontal, toss our feet up to rest. And, if we were really truly lucky, we’d have either a root beer-flavoured Popsicle, or creamy vanilla Dixie Cup, in hand to savour.

It is little remembered, but in the days of the French flaneurs, for a brief moment in 1839, it was considered elegant to take a tortoise out for a walk. The gesture was not completely out of left field, though, merely an eccentric embellishment or a desperate call for attention. Rather, it was, in part, a tongue-in-cheek political display, a sort of poetic middle finger to a rampantly industrializing Paris. Bring the tortoise-walk back into the 21st century I say, and be free from the smart phone, even if just for a smidge! But not before searching “People trying to walk their cat” on YouTube, for a humourous, ‘who-walks-who’ preview of what’s to come of this human-tortoise pairing. Yet what a beautiful thing to surrender, to give up brief control, loosen our proclivity toward A-to-B trajectories. All thanks to a turtle holding reign, relish in your surroundings, all 360 degrees of it, and have the world transformed into a place of meditation! Let us follow by example sixty-five-year-old Japanese funeral parlour owner, Hisao Mitani, who goes out on daily walks with his African spurred tortoise through the streets of Tokyo. He became an Internet sensation in 2015 for doing so.

The popular notion of “walking as discovery” has been braided into our collective psyche, and while it speaks to our curiosity-driven nature and, at our worst, to histories of colonialism, over the years I’ve drifted to the view of “walking as recovery.” I discovered walking’s restorative potential as a Simon Fraser University undergrad when, amid the evening calm, I’d take a post-dinner walk to Burnaby Height’s oval track at Confederation Park. Approaching the russet-coloured track set in stark relief by the manicured grass filling its centre, I’d come upon an altogether heart-warming convening, a neighbourly microcosm of walkers looping the track, with the humbling outline of the North Shore Mountains to the north. From the vantage of a wooden bench, absorbing this mellifluous, arcing swirl of motion was enough to lull me into a state of clairvoyance. Sometimes, deciding to join the walking procession, time would seem to slacken, anxieties would unclasp, cascading from the self, outward, dissolving into the unending infinity of the circular track; overhead, a fluttering of crows, dotting the clear blue sky iridescent black, the sun making its beguiling decent over poplar trees, to the west.

Younger still, during the 1990s, in East Vancouver where I grew up, I have memories spent after school at my Italian grandparents’ home, who would care for my siblings and I on many a weekdays while my parents were at work. After dinner, I’d join my Nono for a walk with my brother and, after the house slipped out of sight, he’d pull out and light a cigarette, and in that moment made us complicit in his little secret, with the cemented story back at the house being that he had dispensed of the habit long ago. Walking along with him—the world at our fingertips—we’d dance in circles around my grandfather like electrons around a nucleus, racing ahead, hopping over the sidewalk creases imagining them as perilous pits, sometimes trailing behind, mesmerized by some insect or betwixt by a scattering of shed, dried out Maple whirlybird seeds. We’d split them down their brittle centre, toss them to the sky and, transfixed, watch them pirouette back down to the sidewalk. My grandfather would be continuing along, all the while, at his steady, measured pace, lost in rumination, the kind not yet of our knowing. The trip would end at the corner store, to address our sugary cravings with, ironically, Pop-Eye candy cigarettes. Puffing away on our candied sticks, oblivious to the adult world that lay ahead of us, we’d make our way back to the house, often in time for Wheel of Fortune, Vanna White and her infectious glow of a smile.

Years later, my Nono’s secret would get the better of him when cancer took hold, and after his passing, with my Nona now alone in her house, I’d pay frequent visits, getting her, this time, out of the confines of her home for walks. Delighting in conversation with neighbours along the way, debating the merits of various grades of gardening manure, sharing tricks of the trade for growing flavourful tomatoes, as well as getting caught up on the latest neighbourhood gossip, I could sense her spirit lift and her racing mind being put at ease. Hippocrates grasped this over 2,000 years ago when he declared, “walking is man’s best medicine.” Modern studies today now suggest that walking for even twenty minutes a day can cut one’s risk of premature death by almost a third. During my many memorable walks with my Nona, we’d usually find ourselves at a nearby Chinese restaurant for dim sum, where we’d enjoy an array of steamy goodness from sticky rice, spicy fried squid, to crispy wasabi shrimp spring rolls. “Mmm, my favourite,” she’d exalt, a smile breaking across her face, as a container of steamed chicken feet was placed onto our table. Her diving hands would disperse the tantalizing steam rising out from the wooden container; warmed by her enthusiasm, I’d top up her half-empty glass of green tea.   

That we have even been endowed with an upright gait has much, of course, to do with a lengthy evolutionary battle between big brains and narrow pelvises. But it is also simply a wonderful gift and a constant teacher, if we let it. Pulled by the primacy of bipedalism, with valorous if haphazard spirit, most newborns attempt their first steps around nine to twelve months. It’s easy to forget, less remember, the novelty of walking for the first time. Though, I’d like to think we are always learning how to walk through this life in the play of the open air.

While I do not own a tortoise, I have occasionally imagined myself tethered to an invisible one, noble and seemingly with all the time in the world, when out on a leisure jaunt. Time after time, she has guided me to marvelous, wonderful places I never would have expected.  

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

My parents’ attitude makes me think: i don’t want to live doing whatever they want. I want to live recklessly. I’m 17 years old, almost 18 and i’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years. I will go to uni next year, in a different city. I will live by myself. They still treat me like a little child. They’re terrified of me having sex, but they can’t control that. I want to go with my boyfriend at a book fair in a town which is 250 km away from my hometown and it’s only a trip of a few hours, just for seeing the books. We won’t even sleep there. We will leave in the morning and return at night. They never let me do anything. I’m terrified of me being in my 20s and them still controlling my life. I either live my way or not live at all.. i’d rather die than living in a tiny bubble, honestly.

Because of them, I was terrified of having sex. I was terrified of getting physical, because they always told me that my boyfriend will break up with me after that, that he wants to use me for having sex (he’s 19, he could have gotten that from anywhere if he was desperate). Which makes me think: don’t you think i am loved? Do you think i’m that awful? I feel so bad about myself because of this. I have issues. I want to have memorable years. I have no amazing memories because of them. I lived my teenage years as a 12 year old. While all my friends travelled with their friends and significant others, i was staying home, realizimg what a crappy life I have. It would be awesome, but my parents are keeping me from doing stuff. I had many thoughts over the years. At 14, i wanted to kill myself. But i started having hope, that in a few years, things will change. Nothing changed. Nothing. I wanted to run away a couple times. But I thought that maybe i am a spoiled brat. I may be. But I don’t want to live like this, Charlie, I don’t want to stay home and do nothing.

If they are like this now, nothing will change in a few months, when I graduate. If I will get into law school, i will celebrate by going on a trip in mountains with my friends and bf. If they won’t allow me, i will most likely stay in bed for the whole summer. My boyfriend says that things will get better. But I have no hope, you know? In their eyes, I’m a little child. They have no arguments for anything. They just do what’s “right” aka what was right in their times. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that they give me money and that I live in their home, i’d just do my thing. But I have so many exams that I don’t have time for a part time job. I will probably work in uni, but law school might be hard, from what i heard, so i won’t have time for that. I act like a child. I’m sorry. I just want a life which is worth living.

-an unhappy person

[withabackpackandcamera]

December 5th, 2017

Day 13: The Rest of Athens On The Last Day

My last day in Greece. I can’t believe how quickly the last two weeks went by and how much ground my family and I were able to cover in such a short period of time. And speaking of covering ground, my last day was a whirlwind day of trying to see as much as I could fit into my schedule.

After a simple hostel breakfast, I left for the day in my signature shorts and hoodie… only to realize that it was actually way cooler than I originally expected. So I quickly turned around, changed into warmer clothing, and retraced my steps out of the door. I slowly walked through the streets of Athens until I made it back to Philopappos Hill. The last time I was here, my family and I had just wandered into this area without knowing what was here. This time, I made a concerted effort to make my way to the top to see the monument sitting there. The hike up took just a little bit of time and at the top was the monument and a nice sunny view of the Acropolis in the distance.

The next stop I made on my journey through Athens today was the Varvakios Meat and Fish Market. Previously, when my family and I tried to stop by, the market had already closed. So this time, I made sure I came during its open hours. At market, as you could imagine, were lots of meats and lots of aggressive meat salespeople. Once I was there, I wasn’t super excited about being there… Not a great sight before lunch…

But I didn’t let that faze my noontime hunger that was starting to become more apparent. And because I wasn’t feeling Greek food this morning, I stopped by Mirch Indian Take Away, a little restaurant I had seen earlier when I walked around this area with my family. There, in the empty restaurant before the lunchtime crowd, I ordered an Indian Souvlaki that I had heard about. It was a mix between an Indian chicken tikka masala and a pita with souvlaki except the pita is naan! It’s like a food truck concept in Greece!

After my relatively early lunch, I trekked across the city to try the famous Greek dessert called galaktoboureko sold at the place in town that makes the best ones: Kosmikon. The pastry shop was a bit of a ways out from downtown, about 3 kms, so walking out there took some time. But that was a good thing, given that I had just had a filling lunch and needed to make space for dessert. So I walked out there and looked around at the neighborhoods and shops along the way. During the walk, I even ran into a street flea market with people selling all sorts of things underneath their tarps.

Eventually, I got there and just ordered one piece of galaktoboureko to go. After such a long walk, it was funny to just leave with one little piece of dessert. With nowhere to sit in the shop, I walked around the corner and found a nice little church square area where I just sat down and ate my galaktoboureko without utensils (it was difficult). So, what does galaktoboureko taste like? It was essentially baklava phyllo on the top and bottom of a chunk of custard in the middle that was reminiscent of the cream from the cream puffs my dad and I make. Pretty good, but the large piece I got was just a bit too much, especially after a super filling meal at Mirch.

After my very very filling dessert, I slowly walked back towards town. Because I was just taking my time, I ended up deciding to just head straight over to Lycabettus Hill where I was planning to go for sunset. Since I didn't have other plans, I thought that going earlier rather than later would be time better spent. So I started my trek up, and, of course, I walked up way faster than I should've walked given how much time I had. The hike up was supposedly a little difficult, seeing that it was almost a 1000 feet rise in elevation, but with stairs and nice weather, it wasn't bad at all.

Once I arrived at the top, it was only 3:45PM or so. And sunset wasn't going to happen until 5:05PM. What was I to do with all my time?? I decided that I'd just hang out at the top and just chill and enjoy some moments of relaxation. After I had cooled down after the hike up, the wind started to get a little colder and I ended up having to get up and move around from my spot to keep warm as I waited for the sun to set. And that took a while. But despite all the waiting, it was peaceful to sit there and just enjoy the moment. Haven't really had much of an opportunity to do that this busy trip. When the sun finally started its descent, I started up my time lapse and waited for the sun to completely set. The sunset overall wasn't great but it wasn't completely boring either. I enjoyed my time. And after sunset, I stayed around for some blue hour shots before walking back down in the dark.

The plan next was to stop by Lukumades for some loukoumades. I wasn't hungry at all at this point so I was just going to eat the fried donut balls to try them before leaving. But because I had marked a nice traditional Greek restaurant, Manas Kouzina Kouzina, on my map next to the dessert place, I decided that I'd just take time and get dinner first before getting dessert. So I sat and chilled in the restaurant until the lunch buffet menu changed over to the dinner menu. During that time, I just warmed up and surfed the web using their internet.

Once dinner was up and running, my waitress confirmed that what had caught my interest, a meatball dish with roasted potatoes with yogurt sauce and rose jam, was a good choice and I just went ahead and ordered that. My dish reminded me of the Swedish meatball dishes I had in Sweden but way bigger in size. I spent more than two hours hanging out and eating at the restaurant before I left. The food was very good despite me not being hungry.

After dinner, I left with a still-full stomach and headed next door to try some loukoumades at Lukumades. And the place was poppin’ when I came by, filled with people ready to get dessert with their SOs or kids. With the menu full of different options, I opted for what the employees recommended and ordered a tray of loukoumades with honey and cinnamon, their most popular option. I sat at the counter and watched them make all the fried donut-like balls and watched them decorate different trays with different toppings and fillings. When I finally got my tray, whew…. I was slightly regretting it lol. But it was good. Just a bit too much for my belly.

Once I finished struggling through my tray of many fried balls of honey and cinnamon, I finally made my way home. I strolled down the dark street of Adrianou to finish the night, hoping to see if anything caught my eye for last minute gifts for people. But nothing did and most shops were closed anyways. So I just went back to the hostel and sleepily killed time (without hostel staff realizing that I wasn’t really supposed to be there anymore) until I decided that it was finally time to get up and walk to the bus stop to catch my early morning ride to the airport.

And just like that, I arrived at the airport at 3:30AM and shortly afterward, I was back on a plane destined for home and that normal life again. Sighs.

5 Things I Learned Today:

1. AirBnBs are much much nicer than hostels. After spending a week with the family, I forgot how much nicer it is to not be in a hostel… Back to the realities of solo traveling.

2. There are tons of immigrants who live in the northern burbs of Athens. From a quickly observation, they mostly seem Muslim and Middle Eastern in background. The population out in this area was totally different from the population on the southside, where there were seemingly more light-skinned Greeks.

3. Galaktoboureko is a dessert with a huge blob of custard stuck in the middle of two pieces of crispy honey-soaked phyllo. Make sure you have a spoon or fork to eat it with!

4. The sun sets around 5:05PM. And the Acropolis lights up around 5:20PM (during this season?). Just FYI for timing purposes.

5. Loukoumades are just deep fried donut balls. They are sort of like beignets made with a tasteless batter topped with toppings that give it its real tastes.

[purplesurveys]

228

1. What time is it? Exactly 11:00 AM. 2. Name? Oooo haven’t seen a bunch of basics questions in a long while. Hi, I’m Robyn. 3. Age? 19, but can’t wait to refer to myself as 20. 4. Hair color? Black. 5. Height? 5′1″ or 5′2″.

6. What are you wearing? The stuff I usually wear around the house - tank top and shorts. 7. Have you ever been accused of being a gang member? I’m the furthest thing from being one. 8. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No, but I’m about to be in February when I see Paramore! 9. Boys - have you ever worn skinny jeans? 10. Girls - have you ever had to borrow a guy's clothes? Nope. 11. What are your favorite pajamas? I don’t really wear pajamas. I’d rather have my skin out at home. 12. Look behind you. What do you see? My feet perched up (I’m on my stomach.) Also the bedroom wall. 13. What's your favorite brand of toilet paper? I don’t have a favorite brand...as long as it does its job then it’s good for me. 14. Have you ever used the saying, ...I’m still waiting. 15. What about, Waiting for this, too. 16. What's your favorite color? You can only pick one. Black. 17. Where do you live? I live in a small city in the Philippines about 25 km away from Manila. 18. Do you have a MySpace? I had an account nine years ago, but it was never popular in my country so I abandoned it not long after. 19. What do you think about Facebook? Fun, or overrated? Overrated. 20. What color is your keyboard? The buttons are black but the spaces between them are silver. [music.] 21. Favorite genre? Changes a lot. I have my moods for punk rock, pop, pop rock, synthpop. R&B, etc. 22. Favorite band? Paramore. 23. Do you play any instruments? I learned how to play the recorder from music classes but that’s the only one. 24. Have you ever been to a concert? Yeah. A few major artists and lots of minor, local concerts. 25. Have you ever met any bands? If so, which ones? Not the big-time bands, no. 26. Linkin Park or Fort Minor? I’d say Linkin Park but only because I don’t know who the latter is. 27. As I Lay Dying or The Devil Wears Prada? I’ve never heard of anything from either. 28. Lifehouse or Chris Daughtry? I don’t enjoy either. 29. Lil' Wayne or Ne-Yo? Ne-Yo, I guess. 30. Colbie Caillat or Taylor Swift? Taylor Swift but her personality sucks. I’d prefer anything over Colbie. 31. Lostprophets or 30 Seconds To Mars? I don’t listen to either. 32. Against Me! or Rise Against? I love both but have more of a connection with Against Me! 33. Jason Mraz or Rob Thomas? Neither.

34. What's the worst genre, in your opinion? Country. 35. What artist would you like to never hear from again? The fucking Vamps. Or Meghan Trainor. 36. Imagine you're in a rock band - what would you name it? I really have no idea. It takes more than a survey question to come up with a name that’d stick. 37. What if you're a hip-hop artist? No clue. 38. Pop? Honestly I would just be Robyn but there’s already a Swedish singer with that stage name. 39. What's your favorite song? I never give that title to songs, but I’m really enjoying 26 by Paramore, and have been for the past month or so. 40. Have you ever had one song on repeat for more than an hour? Yes. Always. [everyday life.] 41. How big is your house? It’s not huge. It’s perfect for five people and two animals. 42. Who do you live with? Dad, mom, two siblings, two pets. 43. Do you have any siblings? I just mentioned that I do. 44. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and how many? We technically have two, but my sister solely owns the cat. We also have a dog that I primarily take care of. 45. What color are your bedroom walls? White, yuck. 46. How many posters are on your walls? Ten if you count all the Audrey Hepburn frames. 47. Do you have any pictures hanging up? I guess but it really depends on what you want to call the Audrey thingies on my walls. 48. Do you go to church? Unfortunately. 49. Do you smoke? Nope. 50. Drink? Every now and then. 51. Do drugs? Never. 52. Curse? Every hour. 53. What would you consider your 'style'? It’s either ‘I’ll wear what I feel like wearing today whether it comes together or not’ or chic and trendy. 54. Do you wear makeup? Never. I stopped putting on makeup two years ago because I found it to be eating so much of my time. 55. Dye your hair? I haven’t, yet. 56. Wear belts? No. 57. How about jewelry? Yes, I have a necklace that I permanently have on. 58. How often do you fill out surveys? Depends on my schedule because sometimes it’d be multiple times everyday, and other times it’d just be once a week. 59. Do you have any piercings? Where? Yes but just on my ears.

60. What about tattoos? Where? What of? I don’t have any. [relationships.] 61. Marital status? Isn’t marital just single, married, and widowed? Under this umbrella I’m single, but I’m also already in a relationship. 62. If single, why? Because I’m not getting married in the middle of college and without a job and enough money and a house to move into. 63. If taken, how long? A year and 10 months. 64. Why are you no longer with your last ex? I never said we were no longer together. 65. Describe your dream guy/girl. Gabie. 66. Light- or dark-haired? Filipinos are a homogeneous people and everyone has black hair, so my tastes have been suited to that.  67. Taller or shorter than you? Taller, preferably. 68. Cute or sexy? Gabie’s already both. 69. Sweet and naturally sexy, or mischievous and alluring? Mischievous and alluring. The latter sounds extroverted and as if I’d be exhausted too quickly from socializing with them. 70. Kiss on the first date? You do you, but it’s a hell no for me. 71. Sex before marriage - yes or no? Preferably no but you do you, plus I already practice premarital sex, so. 72. What do you think about PDA's? It’s whatever as long as it’s not too sloppy or like no saliva involved...... 73. What's your best friend's name? My best friends are Gabie and Angela. 74. How long have you been friends? Angela for almost 13 years, Gabie for around 5. 75. Does this person know you through and through? They both do. Angela knows me better in some aspects, Gab in others. 76. Would you take a bullet for this person? Both of them with no question. 77. Do you get along with your parents? No and I’d rather it be that way because I plan on moving out of their lives in about 4-5 years. 78. Siblings? Sure but we don’t have a super sweet relationship. 79. Extended family? No. 80. Would you rather have 50% alone time, or 10% alone time? 50%. [this or that.] 81. Rap or rock? 82. Bass or keyboard? 83. Techno or metal? 84. Dancing or singing? 85. Acting or writing? 86. Books or movies? 87. Jeans or shorts? 88. Boxers or briefs? 89. Sleep or food? 90. Black or white? 91. Cuddling or making out? 92. Swimming or tanning? 93. Quiet or loud? 94. Guys or girls? 95. Concerts or music videos? 96. Photos or videos? 97. Republican or Democrat? 98. Religious, agnostic, or atheist? 99. Grammar nazi or spelling freak?

[finishing up...] 100. What time is it? 11:34 AM.

[haley2017-scstudyabroad]

Weekend in Оленьи Ручьи

Like I’ve said before, you can’t do everything you want to do during your time abroad. But you can do something, even just one thing, that’s so amazing you don’t really need to have traveled anywhere else.

That’s how I feel after my weekend at Оленьи Ручьи (Deer Springs in English). It’s a small park outside of Yekaterinburg, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, a total hidden (at least to me) Russian gem. 

In St. Petersburg, people often say you aren’t getting the “real” Russian experience. It’s a very western city. Almost everyone speaks English. You’re definitely catered to as a tourist or a foreign student. I cannot say the same for Yekaterinburg and Deer Springs. Yekaterinburg feels Russian, still seeming to have the Soviet touch resting heavily on top of it. We flew into this freezing cold place at around 5 in the morning. In order to not miss any class, but still have the most time we could in the park, we traveled when we would be sleeping—Friday and Sunday night, getting home at 6 in the morning on Monday. We ended up rolling back into St. Petersburg very tired, but we got a lot done in those two days because of this, so I think it was worth it. We slept at the park’s hotel only on Saturday night. Sunday night we spent in the bus station and the airport so we would be there for our flight at 5 in the morning.

Оленьи Ручьи has their own official website—in Russian and only found if you google the park name in Russian—but it’s still a kind of hard place to gather information on. The instructions on how there are a bit confusing, maybe due to translation difficulties. I was in charge of researching the trip and all I really managed to know was that we had to get somewhere called the south bus station (Южный Автовокзал--I had the address as well) and then we had to find a bus headed toward Mikhailovsk, on which we would have to tell the driver where we were going so he could make the special stop. After that it was a 2 km walk to the park entrance. So, yeah, everything felt like a little bit of a gamble. Thankfully I was traveling with friends not easily stressed and willing to just help me figure out things on the way. And hey, it all worked out perfectly. So there. (But mostly because Zach speaks better Russian than me and asked people everywhere we went how to get to the next place. Practicing those language skills, yo. That’s an educational vacation right there.)

After the bus from the airport to the station and a few hours waiting there for another bus that would take us almost all the way to the park, we were on the about two hour ride to our destination. While we all slept for a lot of the ride, the part that I was awake for was filled with interesting views of an almost hillside-village seeming place, older houses stacked on top of each other with beautiful Russian details around the doors and trim. The bus took us further and further from civilization until we were dropped off on a large, desolate road and told to walk “that way.” The walk was shorter than we expected, pleasant on a snowy and sunny day, and we finally arrived.

People in St. Petersburg are nice most of the time, but it’s still a city. Locals are fast and have places to be. We visited Deer Springs in the off-season when it seems like basically only the workers live there. They were smiley and kind, working with us to communicate using our sub-par Russian. I spent five minutes trying to explain that we needed bedding since I forgot the word for sheets and finally the woman said бельё? And I said да да да да да! And we all laughed at the silliness of the situation. No one was impatient with somewhere else to be. They explained all the hiking routes to us and which one was best to do when and how long it would take. They helped us arrange our banya visit. Outside of the main office, an excursion guide approached us offering more information or to accompany us on a hike, but even after we told her we’d prefer to do it on our own, she wasn’t mean or pushy because we wasted her time. She just smiled and let us go on our way, continuing to offer us information throughout our time in the park. I think sometimes what I miss most about being in a country where I speak the language is not being afraid to just walk up to someone and ask them a question because there’s no risk or difficulty in it, but I got to kind of feel like that again at Deer Springs because everyone always wanted to help.

In terms of activities during our two days in the park, we were surprisingly efficient with our time. You can’t do the longest hike the park has to offer in the winter (I think it’s around 24 km or 15 miles) because of something to do with the water freezing and a bridge. I’m not sure exactly because, as we’ve gone over, my Russian is not that great. But there were two hikes that we did, one each day. Since we got to the park around noon our first day, we started off with the shorter one, which was supposed to take around 3 hours, but I think took us less, even with dallying at all the amazing views. If you’re worried about hiking, neither hike was super difficult. Even the longer one only had one major hill. It did, however, have a lot of stairs so maybe if that’s a difficulty for you, beware. We got up early on Sunday (by early I mean like 9) to do the second, longer one, which was supposed to take 6 or 7 hours, but, again, took us a little less. I think the park overestimates a little just for a cushion, which was nice because we were never in a rush to get back. They were both extremely amazing and definitely worth the time.

After our first hike, we enjoyed the park’s banya services. A man took us to what was basically our own personal banya for the next four hours. He taught us how to use it, gave us tea to sip on, and left us to relax. Between periods in the banya, we ran outside to roll around in the snow. When we were done, we put the fire out and headed back to our hotel room for a solid sleep. It was the perfect end to a long day.

As I said, our second and, unfortunately, last day was taken up by the longer of the two hikes. It was, of course, stunning, going past a stone angel the park is known for and a few long, suspended bridges that cast you out over frozen, grey waters. It ends with a descent into a huge cave, which is, um, kind of scary, but very doable and very cool. We ate lunch at the bottom of the cave and headed back. I was worried about getting cold and miserable on such a long hike through the snow, but it never happened. It was a sunny day and really not that cold, especially breaking a small sweat hiking. Disclaimer: I did wear three layers of pants and three layers of shirts, plus all my outerwear. But, hey, I’d rather be sweating a little than cold.

I was kind of worried about getting back to town that night because we didn’t have tickets for the return bus (we were just kind of fingers-crossing they would let us buy them when the bus pulled up) but the night before when we were walking home from the banya, a random woman who works in the park offered to take us with her back to Yekaterinburg the next day. We met her in the evening and, in exchange for some gas money, were back to the bus station in a couple of hours, and sleepy, but home by the next day.

My description in this blog post is more about logistics and how to arrange the trip than anything else. If you want your proof for why you should take the time, just look at the pictures and know they still don’t do the park justice. I can’t imagine a trip during my time abroad that would have felt more perfect and worthwhile. Just another reason to be a little heartbroken about heading home in the next three weeks.

[aghiadghazal]

Genghis Khan

Around this time, two years ago I started a project in collaboration with the university of Luxembourg where I had to stay down there for about a month. I remember renting a small room at the university’s dorm since it was right next to the university which was almost 20 km outside Luxembourg city. I was picked up at the airport by my project responsible and driven to my new temporary home. The room was empty except for a bed, pan and a pot which reminded me a lot of the first time I moved into a dormitory room for my bachelor’s degree almost 10 years prior. The room had a nice view, with a train station and rails in the distance, separating Luxembourg from France.

You see, one month is a tricky period of time to stay in another country, it is not so short that you can just stay at a hotel and eat at restaurants and stuff your laundry in your suitcase until you get back home, and it’s not long enough to settle down and buy cutlery and a coffee machine therefore I had to find a balance and make do with the basics. Besides being excited about the project which I was about to start, I was also excited about being only 230 km away from Frankfurt where a very close friend of mine lives. Not knowing anyone in Luxembourg meant that I was probably going to spend every weekend either hosting my friend or visiting him in Frankfurt which was exactly what transpired. Apparently there was no major highway from Frankfurt to Luxembourg and the 230 km took my friend over 4 hours to drive (which costed me many swear words by my friend). As the first weekend of my stay approached, I called my friend and convinced him to drive to Luxembourg and the conversation went something like this:

Aghiad: Hey man, have you ever been in Luxembourg? friend: No Aghiad: Yeah well maybe you should come by friend: you know what? My boss said he had a business lunch in Luxembourg once and he said it was nice, so .. yeah, ok, I will come (that summed up my friend’s knowledge of Luxembourg) Aghiad: alright cool, buy some nice whiskey on your way friend: alright, I also have a nice a bottle of champagne which I will bring .. I get off work at 7 pm, I will drive straight from work .. see you at 11 pm.

As planned, he was downstairs from my building a little past 11 pm, complaining a bit about the windy road and the lack of a proper ‘autobahn’ connecting Frankfurt to Luxembourg. Excited about seeing him, we climb upstairs to the 5th floor where I was staying, he looks around and says “Aghiad where the hell will I sleep?” I said we will figure something out (we didn’t, we tried to get a room at a nearby hotel at 5 am and we couldn’t so he ended up sleeping on the floor)

As usual, being diehard George Wassouf fans, we started listening to a mixture of George’s music and some Um Kalthoum sung by George, watch some of the concerts on Youtube, rewatch the ‘amazing’ parts, repeat the ‘solo’ parts, repeat the parts where the band couldn’t keep up with George, etc.., having the door to the balcony open with autumn night breezes blowing gently in the room. I look at my friend and say, when the hell are we going to attend a George Wassouf concert together? He loses the usual smirk on his face, and says “are you serious? there is one in two weeks in Paris .. for the love of God let’s just buy tickets now, if you don’t go this year, you may never get the chance to see him live since his health is deteriorating fast, etc..“ and sat by the laptop looking up tickets! We called another diehard fan friend of ours (who lives in Dubai by the way):

Aghiad: Hi Sultan, there is a Wassouf concert in Paris in two weeks, would you be up for it?

Sultan: Sure, count me inI Was amazed how quickly he said yes without hesitation or even checking his calendar or ‘thinking about it’ like I’d always do (him=cool .. me= not so much). My friend volunteered to take care of buying the tickets, and he bought us amazing seats (second row) and it still baffles me how he managed to buy second row tickets on such short notice for a Wassouf concert in Paris.For you who don’t know who George Wassouf is, simply put, he is the Michael Jackson of the Arab world. He started singing at the age of 9, loved by millions with a very loyal fanbase, sever cocaine addiction, few strokes, your perfect rock star (except it’s Arabic Tarab music he sings). 

Tarab music is a form of Arabic music, traditional, old school, lengthy songs, it is basically what Arabs listened to since Ziryab’s time in Andalusia in year 800 AD and remained popular up until the 70’s of last century before the rise of ‘short pop songs’. You see, Tarab music is among the few things I could never explain to my non-Arab friends. Sheila puts it this way: (I guess unless you grew up with it, it’s impossible to fully embrace the beauty of it .. I can understand how amazing Um Kalthoum’s voice is, but I can’t fully grasp the magic of it)The concert was hosted by the prestigious Folies Bergères. A music hall from the 1869 in the heart of Paris. Beautiful fancy hall with rich history and heritage.

Baffled by how many people flew from all over the world to attend the concert, everyone excited about seeing the Sultan (George’s nickname is the Sultan of Tarab, not to be confused with my friend, Sultan) We sit in the second row, amazed by how close we are to the stage, not believing that we were about to see the Sultan in person since I have never had the chance to attend any of his concerts before. The warm-up singer was horrible though, we couldn’t wait until the first half an hour of the show was over.Then the curtains came down, and the lights dimmed, waiting for the Sultan to come on stage, but all of a sudden, one of his many bodyguards approached us in the second row, motioned with his index finger and said to me softly ‘the Sultan would like to talk to you’. The blood froze in my veins, and I stood there not knowing what to do, the Sultan wants to talk to me??! Why me??! This is the moment every person dreams of, meeting their favourite artist in person.Then in a split second I started wondering, what would I say to the Sultan that would leave a mark and make him remember me? or find me interesting? Imagine meeting your favourite artist tomorrow, and having 10 minutes with him/her. What would you talk about? Surely you will express how much you love his/her music and how they were the centrepiece of your childhood and how you grew up to their music bla bla bla … it’s nothing they haven’t heard from millions of fans before you. 

Of course we always want to make an impression and leave a memorable moment on our favourite artist, hell , you’d love to become ‘best friends forever’ with your favourite artist so the question is, what would you say to them in those 5-10 minutes that would make that a reality? Are you interesting enough to catch their attention? This also reminds me of being asked, if I were to meet anyone in the world, including historical figures, who would I want to meet? Einstein, Newton, Niels Bohr, Muhammad, Jesus, Elvis, Hitler, Genghis Khan, etc… (assuming no language barrier) but imagine actually meeting these people, what would you say to them and what kind of conversation would you have with them? Would you be even interesting enough for them to have a conversation with you? which also led me to think about the dating world. 

I remember having guy friends telling me “Ahhh Aghiad, other than being beautiful, I would like to meet an interesting, intellectual girl, full of knowledge and things to talk about” but somehow we never ask ourselves, are we interesting enough to catch the attention of an interesting, intellectual girl? I remember reading a book on dating during my single days few years back. It was called ‘The Game’ I am sure many of you are familiar with the book. The book became a huge success and caused lots of controversy because it reduced women to simple equations, once mastered, the book promised that men would be scoring ladies by the dozen. The goal of the book was to help guys understand what makes women tick and how to catch their attention. But the core idea of the book was basically how to fake being interesting! ‘proven’ lines and strategies to basically look smarter and more interesting than you actually were, since the goal of the book was to get men laid (short-term affection) rather than build real long relationships (where women would actually discover what a bore you are). It amazed me that the book didn’t encourage men to genuinely and sincerely be more curious, knowledgable and interesting (ok, in all fairness it did promote working out and looking trimmed).To come back to the concert, everything I said was true, until the part where the bodyguard approached me, of course I wasn’t asked by the bodyguard to come talk to the Sultan, it was simply my vivid imagination thinking ‘what if’. We just waited until the Sultan came on stage, barely able to walk, sang for an hour then disappeared behind the curtains, only leaving me with the paralysing question … am I an interesting person? End.

Sept. 8th 2019

[shannrussell-blog1]

Considered to be among the best hiking trails in the world, the Larapinta Trail is as enormously challenging as it is unimaginably beautiful. Having worked in Central Australia for two years, I’d felt that I’d come to appreciate the cultural significance, design of the landscape and the brutality of the elements – but the Larapinta Trail was something else.

Hiking the 12 section, 271 kilometres of the Larapinta Trail over 14 days had long been a dream, but I’d also never believed in its reality. I’m a 27-year-old fella from Adelaide who craves the adrenalin of adventure but wishes the physical challenge didn’t have to accompany it.

Until hiking the Larapinta, I’d never trekked longer than 8 days consecutively. The longest solo trip I’d undertaken was only 3 days. But here I am, now back in Adelaide after an unreal adventure and I’d recommend it to anyone.

The view of Mount Sonder at sunrise. Photo: Ben Trewren

Choosing your itinerary

I chose to hike the trail East to West (Alice Springs to Mount Sonder) for a culmination of reasons:

This is the direction in which the trail was designed to be hiked.

You hike what’s considered the least interesting scenery first, but you don’t really know it as you don’t have anything to compare it with.

While the sections are longer at the beginning in terms of kilometres, I appreciated the relative flatness of starting with section 1 and 2. This allowed me some time for my body to adjust to the hot and dry climate, to my pack and to get on top of my hydration.

I was keen to finish on a high by climbing Mount Sonder as my last adventure on the trail. Better still, I wanted to enjoy the view of Mount Sonder as I approached.

The sun would be on my back instead of my face in the morning (I planned to start early and aimed to finish hiking early afternoon).

I wanted to make the most of the kiosk and showers at Ormiston Gorge between sections 9 and 10.

I had a clear timeframe, so I could confidently organise a pickup time from Redbank Gorge.

Getting started early on the long days to avoid the afternoon sun. Photo: Ben Trewren

When to Go

I was on the trail for the last week of August and the first week of September. The weather was incredibly kind to me with a daily average of 26°C and only two days above 30°C. This was such a relief as I was tormented with temperatures in the mid 30°C the week before, and similar forecasts the week after I completed the trail. Overnight was also quite mild. I never needed more than a fleece jumper and found sleeping pretty easy.

It was also a very quiet time. In total, I saw around 50 people on the trail and camped with no more than 5 people at a time. Much different to the stories from the peak period through June and July. Overall, the weather will be the biggest consideration for you when deciding to hit the trail. I was really happy with my time of year – not too hot during the day and no frostbite to my key body parts overnight.

I had clear bright blue skies every day whilst on the trail.  Photo: Ben Trewren

Duration of the trail

Having allocated myself 14 days on the trail, my navigation plan was constantly changing in the lead-up. However, I was really happy with my final decision. Hiking for 13 days and taking the opportunity for a rest day on Day 11 at Ormiston Gorge.

In a nutshell, I took a day to hike each of sections 1-8. I then split 9 in half over two days, before taking a rest day. Then 10 and half of 11 in a day, the second half of 11 the following day and then 12 on the final day. While on my day off, I tackled the Ormiston Pound Walk.

Logbooks were provided by NT Parks and Wildlife at every trailhead. Photo: Ben Trewren. 

Flights & Accommodation

I booked my flights to Alice Springs with Qantas using my Frequent Flyer points. It’s a 2-hour flight and there’s one flight a day from Adelaide to Alice Springs that usually arrives around 1 pm. And there’s another from Alice Springs to Adelaide which usually departs around 2 pm. I think it’s a very similar arrangement from other major cities.

I was fortunate to have friends who live in Alice Springs who generously picked me up and dropped me off at the airport, and gave me a place to stay. However, if you’re not as lucky as me, you can catch a shuttle for around $15 (cash) into Alice Springs Town Centre. Or a Taxi is anywhere between $30-$50 depending on your location.

Alice Springs has a range of accommodation like hostels, motels, and hotels which are all relatively affordable for what’s offered. When looking for accommodation, research pricing and then try and pick one a location close to the other services you’ll need (supermarkets, outdoor store, Visitor Information Centre, etc.).

Arriving in Alice Springs. Photo: Ben Trewren

How long does it take to complete?

One of the most adventurous things about the Larapinta Trail is that you can flexibly and safely choose your own adventure. I met some people aiming to complete the trail in 9 days, whereas I met others on their 20th day. It really does come down to how you want to tackle the challenge. I decided based on how much walking I thought I could complete each day (around 18-20kms), access to water and that I only had 2 weeks leave available.

Upon completing the Larapinta Trail, my longest day was 31.3kms through Section 6. My shortest day was 13.5kms through Section 7.

Try to avoid focusing on the km’s marked on the trail signs as they’re frequently incorrect (due to trail maintenance, changes, etc.). For the lightweight hikers – you can save a bit of weight by allocating maps to your food drop boxes.

Often, trailheads provided as much information as the maps did… Photo: Ben Trewren

Navigation

While I don’t recommend them because they lack map detail and the information (especially trail data) is frequently incorrect, as they’re currently the only option, it’s worthwhile getting your hands on the NT Parks and Wildlife map set available here. I got word on the trail that Larapinta Trail Trek Support (LTTS) are looking to create their own maps with far greater map detail. They also want to include more interactive information on the flora, fauna, history, cultural heritage, etc., which will be a fantastic improvement.

In saying all this, the trail is incredibly well marked with the familiar blue arrows on the white signs. Because of the abundance of signage, you often wonder whether there is a need for maps or a GPS.

Just follow the blue arrows… Photo: Ben Trewren

Food Drops & Trail Support

I paid LTTS for the End to End Solo Package and couldn’t be happier with my decision. Included in the package are 3 food drops at Standley Chasm, Ellery Creek and Ormiston Gorge along with box collection after I’d passed through (allowing me to unload gear if need be).

The package also included transfer back to Alice Springs from Redbank Gorge at the end of my walk, stove fuel provisions (as it can’t be transported on a plane), organisation of the food box room keys, PLB and SPOT hire and support and advice towards my navigation plans.

I highly recommend Zac and his team from LTTS to support you when undertaking the Larapinta Trail – they offer a huge amount of support for a range of requests.

My food boxes all packed and ready to give to LTTS before the start of my trek. Photo: Ben Trewren

Other gear to leave in your food boxes

Aside from food, your food boxes are a fantastic place for a change of clothes, batteries, toiletries and extra rewards like bottles of Gatorade.

They’re also fantastic for dumping gear you no longer needed on the trail (like my down jacket), no longer wanted (books that I didn’t have the energy to read) or became unusable (certain pairs of underwear).

Put an obvious rubbish bag in your Ellery Creek box. Unlike Standley Chasm and Ormiston Gorge, there are no bins and LTTS will need to take your rubbish for you. Double layer it if necessary to prevent the smell penetrating everything else in your box.

While LTTS help organise the pickup and return of your food box room key, you need to book it yourself. It’s easy enough by just calling Alice Springs Tourism Centre and paying your $50 deposit plus $10 fee over the phone. However, be mindful that the keys can book out (especially in peak periods) and then you need to rely on others. So for peace of mind, get in early on this one.

Picking up my food box at Ormiston Gorge. Photo: Ben Trewren

Food I took for the trek

I kept my menu varied and easy as I didn’t want to be consumed with ‘cooking’ along with my hike.

Here are some of the options I carried:

Breakfast – Muesli with Powdered Milk & Fruit Puree

Snacks – Lollies, Dried Fruit, Shapes, M&Ms, Dehydrated Fruit Straps

Lunch – Crackers, Tuna, Metwurst, Peanut Butter, Cheese

Dinner – Soup Powder, Dehydrated Meals

Looking back I would probably pack more salty snack options to assist with rehydration. For me, this would’ve looked like more soup powder, salty nuts and any other savoury snacks.

Some tips for the dehydrated meals:

Add a bit of extra water to assist with an alternative way of rehydrating.

Wait 20 minutes rather than 10 minutes for the food to rehydrate for better flavour and texture.

Eat straight from the bag (there’s a slit halfway down the pack to rip across and make it easy to eat from) so there’s no washing up.

I personally found the Back Country 1 serve sizes fine for my appetite, but recognise that I’m not a big eater.

Cottage Pie they reckon! One of my favourite rehydrated meals on the trip Photo: Ben Trewren

What kind of food is available at the Kiosk?

The usual cold drinks, ice-creams and chocolate bars are available at both kiosks. But it’s the range of homemade and fresh options that I really craved – especially when spending 14 days on a hiking trail.

At Standley Chasm, I had the Lasagna ($18) which came with three generous serves of salad. They’re also open for dinner Thursday to Saturday. I came through on a Saturday so I made the most of the fresh food and had a Steak with a massive bowl of steamed veggies for dinner.

Upon arriving at Ormiston Gorge, I tucked into their Big Breakfast ($16), while also enjoying their Salad ($10) and Steak Sandwich ($10) over the course of my stay. They also do a ripper of an Iced Coffee and the cakes are worth every cent. They were also very generous to package up a Lamb and Rice ($10) for me to reheat at dinner time.

Breakfast at Ormiston Gorge Kiosk. So good. Photo: Ben Trewren

Boots & Gaiters

The important thing to know about the Larapinta Trail is that there are rocks, rocks, rocks and more rocks. This is why you need boots that offer support. The second important thing to know is that the trail conditions exceeded my expectations. Not once did I feel like the trail wasn’t ‘clear’ to hike through so it wasn’t necessary to have epic amounts of ‘protection’.

I hiked in a pair of pretty solid Scarpa Kailash GTX boots. Upon reflection, I would’ve opted for a lighter and more breathable pair of boots that still offered support. Most importantly, make sure your soles are in good nick and are durable enough to handle the rocky terrain. It’s not uncommon to hear of people’s boots disintegrating mid-trail because they lacked quality or they had been overused prior to starting. I saw one lady wearing Dunlop Volleys?!

I’m also very grateful for the advice I received beforehand to hike in shorts with ankle gaiters because that’s all I needed. I also really appreciated the ventilation from this combination. I did see a few people with trousers that zip off into shorts, which are also a great clothing option. Because the trail is in such good condition, I only experienced an occasional brush with spinifex. You always felt like you could clearly see what was on the trail. In saying all this, I didn’t even see a single snake!

Giving the feet a break and celebrating the Bombers making the AFL finals! Photo: Ben Trewren

Clothing to wear on the trail

Clothing is something I ummed and ahhed about a lot as I felt there was a fine line between getting it right and wrong. Knowing that I have a pretty warm body, but also cautious of how bitterly cold Central Australian nights can be during the winter months, it was tough to call.

I hiked in shorts and a t-shirt that were lightweight, breathable, and also super durable. On my feet, I wore my trusted Wigwam Merino Socks to look after my feet (which they did 95% of the time).

I carried a fleece sweater (which was all I needed when temperatures dropped) and a spare t-shirt to change into. At the start I had a pair of long compression tights and a down jacket, however, once I realised that overnight temperatures weren’t that cold for me, I left my jacket in a food box.

I found the compression tights fantastic to wear upon arriving at camp. Especially as they gave me the peace of mind that they would hold my legs together when I seriously doubted they would on their own.

At my halfway food box at Ellery Creek, I included a second change of clothes. I also threw fresh undies and socks into every food box (thanks, Forrest Gump) and included a fresh t-shirt for my day off at Ormiston Gorge.

On top of Brinkley Bluff. Photo: Ben Trewren

Doing laundry

I carried all my clothes in a Scrubba Wash Dry Bag because it has a range of advantages. It easily holds everything I wear, keeps out dust and moisture and has a valve for expelling air for packing. Most beneficial, however, is that when I needed to wash my clothes it did a fantastic job of breaking down the gunk without wasting too much precious water.

Don’t forget to also take along a clothesline to dry your clothes on after giving them a good scrub.

Washing day on the trail. Photo: Ben Trewren

Sleeping gear for Larapinta

When it came to sleeping, I trusted my Sea to Summit Basecamp II Bag and Thermolite Reactor Extreme Liner to get the job done, so I slept in very little, sometimes nothing which gave the skin a chance to just take it easy and breathe. Very happy with this plan of attack.

Shelter

In order to save weight and knowing I had spent over 300 nights in a swag before, I decided on a bivvy bag as my shelter. I knew that many of the trailheads already had platforms established, with shelter options available, and that packing my bivvy only required ‘stuffing’ – so I was pretty confident with my choice.

The usual setup at camp. Photo: Ben Trewren

Should you bring a tent?

Overall, I was happy and unphased with this decision until getting to Ormiston Gorge where I had thrown my 1-man Zempire Atom tent into my food box so that I had some ‘sense of security’ for leaving my gear unattended during my day off as well as when I would head to summit Mount Sonder a few days later from Redbank Gorge.

Upon picking my tent up and using it, I realised the peace of mind it gave me compared to my bivvy. At night, I could go to bed and zip up the inner and automatically my fears of what ‘may’ happen decreased. I felt much more comfortable to put a podcast in my ears because I didn’t feel the need to hear what was happening around me. I also didn’t stress about pesky mice getting into my gear as much.

In hindsight, I’m still undecided whether I would opt to carry the extra weight and spend the extra time pitching and packing up the tent for the entire journey. But I certainly appreciated ending the trip with the comfort of the tent.

Enjoying the view of Mount Sonder from the tent. Photo: Ben Trewren

Additional gear Packing Tips

Toiletries

Lip Balm and Moisturiser are worth throwing into your toiletries because the dry air will wreak havoc on your skin.

Tea Tree Oil helps manage the funky smells and germs coming from your feet.

Hand Sanitiser is definitely worth it because water is scarce, plus you need to stay on top of your hygiene.

Wilderness Wash and Wipes are a must because they’re bio-degradable and soft on the environment and they give you an opportunity to wash  – either yourself, your dishes or clothes.

Tools and accessories

Overcome the fear of the stigma, and grab yourself a set of hiking poles. They’ll improve your balance, take the strain off your legs, provide support and at the worst, protect you against a raging animal.

Small tweezers/Splinter Probes are fantastic for dealing with endless prickles and if needed, draining blisters.

Carry a

Making the most of the sun and charging the batteries. Photo: Ben Trewren

Hydration Gear

Nuun Active tablets as they’re low in sugar and carbohydrates and are available in a range of fruity flavours.

Comfort gear

Throw in a packable daypack for when you reach Redbank Gorge. You won’t need to carry a full pack up Mount Sonder, just the essentials.

Have some foam to sit on. The comfort is really appreciated by your bum and it offers fantastic protection against the prickles. I personally loved the Thermarest Z-Seat.

Sitting at the top of Serpentine Gorge at the end of section 7. Photo: Ben Trewren

Where to go from here?

In the second part of my Larapinta series, I talk about what to expect on the trail – water sources, facilities, camps, phone reception, hazards and leaving no trace on the track.

Are you prepping for a big hike like Larapinta? What do you think is the most challenging part? 

The post Hiking Larapinta Part 1: Preparation appeared first on Snowys Blog.

[faceplant-ux]

Big Dog, Big City, Bad UX

Today I confirmed with the ophthalmologist (that’s an eye-disorder-doctor/surgeon) that my 7-year-old Bernese mutt, Astrid, would need surgery. A benign mass has been steadily growing on the rim of her eyelid for several months, and $proghub and I were referred to this specialist after the mass got one millimetre too bold. The most emotionally trying part of the process was not the steep cost, nor the fact that the mass was actually two masses, or what would evidently be a painful recovery period for Astrid in the cone-of-shame. It was getting to the drop-in clinic in the first place. 

Here were the parameters we were dealing with:

First, the ophthalmology clinic of choice received patients from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. 

Second, we didn’t have a car. The TTC (subway system in Toronto) allows pets to travel on leash or in carriers during off-peak hours, defined as “before 6:30 am; 10 am to 3:30 pm; after 7pm”. Obviously it’s easier to bend this rule with a smaller dog in a travel crate. Astrid weighed 60 pounds.

Third, according to Google Maps, it would take me 50 minutes-1 hour to get to the clinic from home by transit. Based on previous rides on that very route, I knew delays and increased traffic would be likely.

Finally, taking an Uber/Lyft instead was estimated to be a 15 minute journey at a budget-friendly price of $18. 

Conclusion: For maximum sleep and minimum transit time, take a Lyft at 7:30 am, arrive at the clinic before 8 am, and expect to wait about 2 hours at most. Cool. 

In the past I had no issues riding in a Lyft with Astrid, so long as I called ahead to let them know I’d have a large dog with me. A driver had the right to decline the ride in the interest of comfort or cleanliness, but so far none of them had.

Except today. I called the first driver right away as soon as we were matched and they apologized profusely for not wanting to take the dog. No hard feelings. But then the driver hid out nearby anyway, and didn’t cancel the ride despite my calling him back asking him to do so. It was impossible for me to cancel the ride now that he had “arrived” and was “waiting”. He let the wait timer finish before cancelling the ride and driving off. Annoying; that was three minutes I had to wait before calling another ride.

The second driver agreed to take Astrid when I confirmed over the phone. Great! He arrived, saw her, and said he had misunderstood, and he couldn’t take her. And then again, didn’t cancel the ride right away waiting for the five minute timer to run out — thankfully he figured it out eventually after rolling down the window to ask if I could cancel it (again, I couldn’t), and cancelled after two minutes.

While writing this post I discovered that I was charged a $5.00 no-show fee for allegedly standing up the first driver, which I had to get refunded from Lyft in the form of credit. 

UX questions abound:

Why was it difficult for both drivers to cancel the ride in the Lyft app? 

In the case of the first driver, did they intentionally let the timer run to 0:00 in order to get a no-show cancellation fee out of me? I would have likely missed the fact that I had been charged a no-show fee.

Why does Lyft’s chat bot automatically issue the refund as Lyft credit rather than a credit card refund? I feel I could have gotten in touch with customer support to get the latter, but $5 was a trivial enough amount to not do so. Are there risks with giving the customer the choice of how they would like to receive their refund?

It was now 8:03 a.m. I called one of the local cab companies. They had always accepted large dogs; I even double-checked over the phone with the dispatcher! The driver arrived after the promised 5-10 minute wait. I herded Astrid into the car and heard the tail end of a conversation over the comm, “—listen if you aren’t comfortable and don’t want to have a pet say something, we’re here to help!” I pretended not to hear. The driver asked if I had a cover for the dog since the seats were vinyl. Um, no? He fetched a jacket from his trunk. “Someone forgot it, just put it under your dog.” Fine. 

It was a silent ride, except for the radio going off again: “How long is your fare?” "I’ll get back to you later,” my driver discreetly responded.

We got to the clinic and it was now nearly quarter to nine. I wiped off the back seats as best as I could and tossed the now furry, dusty jacket into the trunk. Astrid and I entered a packed clinic, the many waiting room chairs full of dogs and their owners. It was something to behold; at least half of the poor canines were wearing cones, and half of those coned canines had eye stitches. What was Astrid in for? I wondered.

The reception cheerfully informed me of the paperwork I had to fill, and as I felt my frayed nerves calming she added, “It’ll be a 3 to 4 hour wait.”

“OK, that’s fine!”, I said in my typical singsong. Yet inside:

I killed time by walking Astrid for about 2 hours. The only place that had set out a dog water bowl was the local cannabis shop. They invited Astrid inside and cooed over her eagerly. That experience alone made the morning much less crappy for me.

The cab ride I had taken reminded me of a time when $proghub was ushering Astrid over to dog boarding, and his cab driver hit another car. He blamed our dog for distracting him, despite her already having long finished her investigative sniffing.

You can provide for a large dog’s every need, but societal discrimination remains:

Finding an apartment that will accept your dog. Ontario law states that “no-pets” clauses are void (huzzah! 🙌), but that doesn’t stop landlords from putting them into leases or denying your application once they find out you have one. $proghub and I are moving to Montréal, and in Québec there isn’t an equivalent law, which means we have to search extra hard for a place that will accept Astrid. Many ads will say 1) no pets, 2) cats only, no dogs, or 3) cats and small dogs under 1x pounds accepted, no large dogs. This sucks because Astrid is non-destructive, quiet, and trained to do her business outside — she’ll even actively seek out *grass* over concrete, which we didn’t teach her — and that is what most landlords want anyway. 9/10 likelihood the yapping dog in your condo is a small one. Bonus points if it’s a Pomeranian or a Shiba. Both are wonderful breeds, but improperly socialized, well...

No dogs in many public spaces. This is more understandable. But how many times have you been in a store and seen a small dog in a purse or under one’s arm? Meanwhile the large dog stays tied to a pole outside, susceptible to theft (especially at risk he/she is outgoing and easily bribed)! 

Lack of transportation options, without a car. A lot of transit systems don’t accept pets unless they’re in carriers, which is impossible with a large dog. Thankfully, GO Transit recently changed their rules after a successful pilot in summer of 2018 where they allowed leashed dogs on their buses and trains with restrictions (pets needed to stay on the lower level of the vehicles, among other common-sense measures). And as already mentioned, the TTC accepts leashed dogs during off-peak hours. My in-laws live in Fort Erie, so if we want to take Astrid to visit them, they drive the 2+ hours to Toronto to pick up the three of us. Except in summer, when GO Transit is running their limited Niagara train service, and we get to take our pooch along. 

Lack of off-leash dog parks. The nearest off-leash dog park to us, despite living in bustling North York, is about a 40-minute walk down Yonge Street, requiring passage underneath a bridge supporting what is allegedly the busiest highway in North America, the 401 (Business Insider). Once $proghub and I decided to bring Astrid to the magical Sherwood Park in Toronto, which took us about 50 minutes by transit on a weekend. Constituents in my neighbourhood petitioned for an off-leash area to be placed in one of the three(!!) parks in my area, all within a 1 km radius of each other, and one of my neighbours, a seasoned arbitrator, even put together some costing for fencing solutions. The proposal was turned down. To add insult to injury last mayoral election, the leading council candidate in my area, a young mother endorsed by the then current, retiring councillor, promised to install a dog park. That dream dissipated once the retiring councillor changed his mind on retiring and promptly beat her in re-election. So many dogs, big and small, in my neighbourhood, with nowhere to play.

What to do? The solution to all my big-dog woes is to be less eco-friendly, of course! 

Seriously though!  If I buy a house, which occupies more land per family than an apartment, I can avoid all pet-landlord issues by not having a landlord!  Since public transit and cabs/rideshares don’t perfectly accommodate my dog, I can save the frustration by having Astrid drool outside the window of my very own Bonewagon!

Sounds ridiculous, right? For the first 3 years of Astrid’s life, we lived in a large 2-bedroom apartment with plenty of space for her to roam. Around the back of the building, there was a large, forested area that she happily explored (and pooped in). The vet was a very short walk away, cabs or friends’ cars were available for short journeys and driving lessons, and the in-laws lived much closer so picking us up took about half the time.

However, circumstances changed, as they do. We moved back to Toronto for me to finish my degree. The cost of rent in Toronto was nearly twice that of Waterloo, and our living quarters changed from about 1000 square feet to 615. Because of the extensive, pet-friendly transit system and the cost of practising driving with the car share, I let my G2 license expire rather than practise intermittently and nervously towards my full G license, since we wouldn’t be buying a car even if I had attained it. Of course Astrid was coming with us — we weren’t going to be one of those families that abandoned their dog through moving. 

Our building is extremely pet friendly, housing Great Danes, Labs and Huskies, and even a sweet, massive Saint Bernard, along with many more “apartment-sized” breeds. Without a doubt, the community is richer for it. People know each other by their dogs’ names. Lobby bathroom accidents are extremely rare. When a resident puts their old dog to sleep, the loss is also felt by neighbours, because you’ve seen that dog for the past few years. You’ve watched them become all warty and grey and scabby and slow — they’d wag their butts when you’d pet them, in spite of their arthritic hips.

Owning a large dog is a pretty normal North American thing to do. I just wish that as dog owners, we didn’t have to jump through so many hoops in order to enjoy the friendship of these unconditionally loyal creatures. With all the shit we humans put ourselves through, we could use the extra love.

Dog tax: