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ykwrites · 3 years ago

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Never with you

Pairings: Pro! Hero Bakugo x fem!reader

Rating: SFW

Warnings: None

Requests: OPEN.

Summary: Katsuki and y/n have been neighbours and ‘’kind of’’ friendly for a few months until some feelings get in the way. Neither of them want to admit how they feel, so they start bickering and arguing every chance they get to hide their true feelings.

MASTERLIST

Another day, another time Bakugo Katsuki thought that because he was a hero he could do whatever he wanted without consequences.

Tonight the so called Dynamight decided to throw a party, on a fucking monday and no one was brave enough to go and tell him to keep it down.

The rest of the building was scared of him, not you tho.

As you walked down the hall towards his apartment door, you cursed in between your teeth, pyjamas on and a sudden urge to punch him in the face. If he didn´t stop the noise, you would only sleep about four hours before having to wake up for work.

You knocked loudly, waiting for someone to open. It took about two minutes and a lot of noise coming from inside.

Finally, a guy with fiery red hair opened and looked at you with a shy and scared smile as soon as he saw your annoyed face.

‘‘Would you please shut the hell up?, It´s four in the morning’‘you said, not even bothering to introduce yourself.

‘‘Oh no! sure, we will, I´m so sorry’‘the poor kid apologized waving his hands nervously.

‘‘Can Bakugo come to the door?’‘

‘‘I´ll go get him’‘

Before you could blink he was gone and a clearly intoxicated and angry Bakugo stood in front of you, crossing his arms in a condescending manner.

The noise quieted down a bit, probably because red hair kid decided to turn off the music and tell the others to lower their voices.

‘’What do you want?’’Bakugo practically barked, like a guard dog wanting you to leave.

‘’Don´t pull this shit ever again, throw parties on the weekends, not now!’’you shot back.

‘’Look, ugly, heroes don´t have weekends, so I throw parties whenever I want, in return I save the normal people like you’’

‘’No, in return I barely sleep, people have jobs too’’

‘‘Tsk, whatever’‘

Just like that, door slammed on your face once again. He did the same thing every time, holding a conversation with him was nearly impossible.

Instead of continuing with the argument, you decided to go back home and try to sleep now that the stupid party ended.

It baffled you to remember how at first you two started on the right foot, he was the first neighbour you spoke with when you moved and even helped you with moving boxes. The first month or so you used to say hi now and then, sometimes stopping for coffee to vent about whatever. You wouldn´t consider Bakugo your friend then, but he was nice to be around, stubborn and permanently kind of angry but nice after all. The little chatters helped you both decompress from daily life without having to worry about being judged.

The exchange between you two didn´t last long though, and sometimes it made you a bit sad, because even if you weren´t that close, you were hopeful to see him and spend a few minutes with him. A crush on him grew but faded away when Bakugo started being rude .

First, he stopped greeting you back in the hallway or elevator, then he would make stupid remarks just to be annoying and complained about everything to the point of screaming just because you forgot your EMPTY clothes basket on the building´s shared laundry room. He would bang on your door and trow the basket inside as soon as you opened, screaming about how irresponsible you were.

Instead of not responding or ignoring him, you decided to be just as rude back. The opposite would’ve probably been more peaceful, but there was no way you would let him step all over you.

Next day after the party was a nightmare, you managed to do everything you needed but almost fell asleep a couple times, growing frustrated from the lack of sleep.

When you got to your building´s elevator, your whole body trembled, so tired that you almost forgot to press the button.

‘‘What´s up, ugly?, why the angry face?’‘a mocking voice echoed around.

Of course he had to be the first neighbour you saw as soon as you stepped on your floor.

‘‘Leave me alone’‘you muttered under your breath, passing by him like a zombie.

‘‘No need to be so rude, it was only a little party’‘

‘‘Shut the fuck up, Bak....

Everything went black, you were supposed to respond, but destiny didn’t work that way.

Not much time later, or so you thought, a faint light started bothering you, making you squeeze your eyes uncomfortably.

What the hell happened?

Finally you opened your eyes, your head hurt and you recognized your surroundings just fine.

Bakugo’s apartment, his couch exactly.

“Finally, you are awake”his annoying voice sounded behind you.

“What happened?”rubbing your temples, you tried to get up but he pushed you back down with force.

“You fainted, wait a few minutes before standing up or It’ll happen again”Bakugo explained, leaving a glass of water on his coffee table and sitting on the couch right after.

He was close to your feet but that couch was so enormous your bodies didn’t have to touch at all.

“How long was I passed out?”

“About an hour, you woke up for a few seconds and then fell dead asleep”

“My head hurts”

“Thank me that I didn’t let you hit the floor earlier”

“Yeah, whatever, thank you”

Silence, a very weird and regrettable one because you couldn’t help but compare this situation with the ones you lived with him before. A few months ago this would’ve been much better, nice.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you?”Bakugo asked.

“Nothing, I guess”you kinda lied.

Obviously the problem was that you didn’t sleep at all and work had been really demanding for a couple weeks, your body was going to fail sooner or later.

“Yeah”he huffed “because passing out in a hallway is so normal, means you are healthy”a sarcastic tone flooded his voice.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t, I’m just curious”

“I’m exhausted, that’s all. Maybe it has something to do with you throwing a party on a fucking monday night”

“You NEED to rub it in my face”

“Well, it’s the truth”

“Well, I saved you now so we’re even”

You knew this bickering would continue, deciding on not responding at all and finally getting up to leave and feeling a bit dizzy.

“Careful, ugly”he said, standing up fast and holding your arm.

Reluctantly you sat down, maybe waiting a little wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Your phone has been ringing the whole time, you should block that number”Bakugo scoffed, taking your phone out of his pocket.

“Why do you have it?”

“It fell on the floor earlier, I just made sure it didn’t get stolen”he angrily explained “another thing you should thank me for”

“Whatever”

5 missed calls from Shoto. He probably was worried because you only sent him a good morning text saying you were tired and went completely silent after that.

Shoto was a good friend of yours, a fairly new friend but one that got invested in your life very fast and worried about your well-being constantly. Something about him losing people before so he got very attached to his friends.

You decided it was best to text him that everything was okay and you would call him later.

“Creepy”Bakugo mumbled lowly.

“What?”you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“The dude is obsessed with you or something”

“You don’t know him, shut up”

“Come on!, I went to school with that guy, trust me he isn’t all that amazing”

He what? Since when? And why didn’t you know that? Of course Bakugo wouldn’t tell you but Shoto never mentioned knowing him at all, weird considering he told you about other classmates and friends.

“He has never spoken about you”you spoke, doubting his words.

“We weren’t friends so who cares”he crossed his arms.

“But we’ve come across you on the hallway a few times and you’ve never greeted each other”

“I could care less, I’m just stating the fact that he is obsessed with you”

“He is my friend” this was so frustrating “and it’s none of your business”

“Open your eyes, ugly, he called five times in an hour”

“You know what?, I am leaving” you stood up.

Clearly Bakugo only wanted to pick a fight and you weren’t in the mood, so leaving was the best option.

Right when you closed his apartment door you heard him yell ‘you’re welcome!’ in his usual condescending and annoying tone.

What the hell was his problem with Shoto? Maybe they had some feud during highschool but that wasn’t your problem now.

A much needed shower cleared your head and you got ready for bed while speaking to Shoto on the phone, problem is you made a mistake telling him that you fainted because he ran to your door as soon as he heard to take you to the doctor.

“I’m okay”you said for the tenth time, now sitting in the passenger seat of Shoto’s fancy car.

“It won’t hurt to make sure you really are okay”he also repeated himself “my family has private doctors so they can check on you quickly”

“I get it, you’re rich”you joked.

“I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable”

“You know I don’t care”

Obviously the doctor was already waiting for you in his fancy office and started checking everything he thought was necessary with Shoto sitting right beside you.

“Everything seems to be alright, but you need to stay home for a few days, I’ll write you a note and prescription for your medicine, that’ll help”the doctor spoke after doing a blood test and a few more things you didn’t pay attention to.

“Really? Isn’t it too much? I just passed out from lack of sleep”

“Passing out was the first sign of your body telling you it’s exhausted, please take what I said into consideration if you want to be able to go back to work normally. If not get ready to faint way more from now on”

“She’ll do everything she needs to recover, thank you, doctor” Shoto politely replied for you and held your arm to get out.

The car ride back was silent, not uncomfortable or anything just silent except for a quick stop at the pharmacy and then back home again.

When you got back Shoto went upstairs with you and waited until you had taken the medicine and got in bed.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?”he asked.

“I’ll be fine” you reassured him.

“Okay, I already made the doctor notify your boss, so focus on resting”

Rich people things I guess.

“Thank you, I promise to call you if I die”

“Please call before dying, I don’t want you to come tell me as a ghost”he laughed.

“Okay”

It took him like ten more minutes before you heard your door closing, finally letting yourself relax and melting into your mattress.

This was glory, now every muscle felt less stiff and your head stopped hurting.

What a good night sleep, the first after a long time. It felt good to turn off you alarm and stay in bed enjoying the calm and free time.

Not for long tho, someone decided to ring the doorbell like thirty times in two minutes and you had to wake up. That someone being Bakugo, that stood with a green plastic bag in his hands, surprisingly quiet and with a gentler gaze than usual.

“Can I come in?”He said.

You nodded letting him in, confused about his demeanor but not interested enough to investigate.

“I brought you some food, and a thing my mum used to make me drink when I was sick, tastes like hell but gives you mad energy”Bakugo quietly explained, putting the bag on your coffee table.

He was bringing you food and remedies?, was he okay?

This situation was uncomfortable, even more than yesterday’s. This wasn’t the normal Bakugo.

“Thank you”you finally spoke, not really sure on what to do “Do you want coffee or something?”

“Yeah, coffee”

“Good”

You made your way into the kitchen, thinking that this didn’t have to be so weird, it wasn’t the first time he had come over for coffee and if he wasn’t defensive an rude you didn’t have to be either.

“There, this one is yours”you said, putting a mug in front of him.

Bakugo just nodded and took a small sip, observing you sit next to him.

The room grew silent, both of you too invested in drinking your coffee without starting conversation.

“I wanted to say sorry for the party the other day”he suddenly spoke.

Him apologizing?that was new.

“Just, be mindful of others next time”

“Are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah”

“Shoto told me you were sick”

“You two spoke?”surprise was present in your voice.

You didn’t expect them to talk at all.

“He knocked on my door yesterday”he explanied.

‘‘And how did that go?’‘

‘‘Horrible’‘

‘‘Yeah, he can get protective sometimes’‘

‘‘I know that, I know him’‘

‘‘Okay then... good you two could talk I guess’‘

Really, what did he expect you to say? he apologized already, there wasn´t much more to say.

Having him there you were realizing how rude things had gotten between you two and how he started it without reason and now he somehow tried to act like nothing happened.

‘‘I think it´s better if you go home’‘ words came out of you without warning.

‘‘Why?’‘he responded, his agressive tone coming back in a heartbeat.

‘‘You’ve been an asshole for months, I appreciate your apology but I’m not comfortable with you here’‘

Honestly, you surprised yourself being able to express that, but you were right.

‘‘You should listen to me first!’‘Bakugo suddenly raised his voice, making you jump back and get even angrier.

‘‘Who the fuck do you think you are? I don´t HAVE to listen to you!’’you shouted back.

‘‘You were an asshole too!’‘

‘‘I was just reacting back at how you treated me!’‘

The whole neighbourhood was probably thinking of calling the police right now, because this conversation got out of hand real quick.

Now both of you stood up and in each others’ faces, him towering over you with his big bulky body and you looking up at him without an ounce of fear in your eyes.

‘‘And I was just mad at you ignoring me!’‘Bakugo continued.

‘‘Excuse me? I’m not the one who stopped greeting you in the hallway’‘

‘‘But you stopped hanging out with me as soon as you met Shoto!’‘

‘‘What? Now I can´t have friends?’‘

‘‘Of course you can! don´t twist my fucking words’‘

‘‘Oh no, excuse me mr. Bakugo, I will only hang out with you for now on, how dare I socialize’‘

‘‘You know I don´t mean that’‘he sat back down, visibly frustrated and with his head between his hands.

‘‘Look, what I see is that we weren´t even that close and even though I enjoyed your company very much, I wasn´t going to put up with that attitude’‘

‘‘What attitude?’‘his voice was lower now.

‘‘You know, throwing my clothes basket at me, being incredibly rude and lashing out every chance you got....’‘

‘‘You can´t leave the basket downstaits, someone will steal it’‘

‘‘And you couldn’t tell me that like a normal person’‘

‘‘I wanted to help and I didn´t know how to talk to you anymore’‘

‘‘Whatever’‘

‘‘You always say that’‘

‘‘What?’‘

‘‘Whatever, like you don´t care at all’‘

‘‘What do you expect me to say, Bakugo?, honestly I don´t know why you came here today’‘

‘‘I want you to say you care, I want you to want to spend some time with me, I want you to keep insulting me if I deserve it , I want to take you out sometime and to...

‘‘You what?’‘you interrupted him, stunned at what he just said.

‘‘It doesn´t matter, I know I get agressive when I can´t express myself, but that doesn´t give me the right to treat you badly, or expect you to return my feelings’‘

Of all the things you imagined, this was the furthest on your mind, for some reason Bakugo having feelings for you never seemed possible.

You felt your face get increasingly hotter and your heart pound with force as you looked at him too surprised to speak. He still had his head down, probably embarrassed.

Now everything made more sense, he felt insecure about Shoto and unable to express himself how he should so instead he started lashing out.

‘‘I´ll leave now if you want me to’‘Bakugo spoke, even quieter than before.

‘‘Look at me’‘you managed to say and he complied, face as red as yours ‘’I am mad at you’’

‘‘I know, I´m sorry’‘

‘‘You should have told me how you felt’’

‘‘Whould that change anything?’‘

‘‘Yeah, I would’ve returned your feelings’‘

Now he was the one too stunned to speak, but your heart was acting on its own.

‘‘What about now?’‘you saw him almost choke on his own words.

‘‘What do you mean?’‘

‘‘Do you return my feelings now?’‘

‘‘I guess, maybe I got so angry at you being rude because I like you’‘

Bakugo turned to look away quick, hiding his reaction.

‘‘You don´t like Shoto?’‘

‘‘No, why are you so fixated on him?’‘

‘‘He is good, and has a rich family’‘

‘‘And?’‘

‘‘He’s not angry all the time’‘

‘‘I happen to be into dudes with anger issues’’you jokingly said.

‘‘I can cook too’‘he finally let out a laugh and looked back at you.

‘‘That sounds even better’‘

‘‘I am sorry for being an asshole’‘his eyes turned soft.

‘‘I forgive you, don´t do it again tho’‘you smiled, taking his hand in between yours

‘‘I wont’‘he smiled back.

‘‘Good’‘

‘‘Good, do you want to come over for lunch?I´ll cook’‘

‘‘You are inviting me to your house on the first date? bold’‘you got a little closer to him, slowly.

‘‘Only if you want to, I make some bomb pasta’’he responded, looking at your lips.

‘‘I guess I have to go then’‘

Bakugo didn´t utter a word, instead he crashed your lips softly causing butterflies to roam in your stomach and a rush go through your body. His lips were so nice and velvety, nicer than you could imagine. The kiss turned heated eventually, breathing heavy and hot as he placed a hand on your neck to pull you closer, not agressive at all but romantic and needy.

‘‘Maybe we could skip lunch’‘you said without a better choice of words.

‘‘You need to eat to recover, we’ll do whatever you want after lunch’‘he laughed, his thumb tracing circles on your leg.

‘‘I´ll fight you after lunch’‘

‘‘Like I said’‘he got dangerously close to your neck and left a small kiss’‘ Whatever you want’‘

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo scenario #bakugo imagine #bakugo headcanons #mha x reader #mha scenario #mha imagine #mha headcanons #mha bakugou #bnha scenario #bnha x reader #bnha imagine #bnha headcanons

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adaodinson · 3 years ago

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Wrong place, wrong time

Finally, here’s the second part, it’s a bit short but I think it’s not so terrible. I hope you guys enjoy it. I’m sorry it took a while for me to post it but I wasn’t getting any inspiration. I honestly hope this is good.

Here’s Part 1

Summary: You needed to get in, seal the deal and get out. That would have been easy if a certain group of three men hadn´t been making business with Selby at the same time as you were.

Relationships: (different endings, you’ll choose) Bucky x reader, Sam x reader, Zemo x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of death and past trauma.

Part 2

You rolled and twisted all night. You didn´t get one hour of sleep and Sharon was already hurrying everybody into leaving.

You would go with the guys after visiting the man that had recreated the serum, so you staying in Sharon´s apartment wasn´t an option. You wanted to argue, knowing you would only be a load, but Sam and Bucky guaranteed you would be fine, that they would protect you, so to not cause any more trouble, you agreed.

You walked as a group between the containers until Sharon found the one you were headed to. It was empty, but your love for movies and secret doors forced you to look for an entrance, and just as you were about to give up, you found it. You pushed the wall reveling a hidden door and walked through it. You were too intrigued to look behind you and catch the surprised faces Sam, Bucky and Zemo had.

-And she thought she was gonna be a load- Zemo laughed, and as much as Bucky and Sam wanted to roll their eyes at Zemo, they found themselves nodding and even chuckling in agreement.

You shortly remembered you had no way of defending yourself, so you quickly turned around and Bucky seemed to catch your thought, because he placed his hand on your back, gave you a reassuring nod and sent you to walk behind him, covering you protectively.

It was hard not to admire the metal-armed guy. Just by his actions it was pretty clear he had been through a lot, and that he wanted nothing more than to help. You knew a bit about the Avengers, only what you had seen in the news occasionally, but you didn´t know much about any of your traveling companions, only what they had told you so far.

Zemo and Sam were following closely behind you, and they too couldn´t help but admire the view they found in front of them. Sam, since Selby died, refused to let you get involved in more issues, which is why he didn´t immediately react and helped you when you were escaping, but now that you were practically stuck with them, he couldn´t help but thank Zemo for helping you, not out loud, of course. Zemo, on the other hand, had many mixed feelings. He had felt the need to protect you since he saw you, he almost laughed at how out of place you seemed when in Selby´s office. He couldn´t deny the growing feeling of wanting to know everything about you, but it was hard; he knew his wife would have wanted him to be happy and move on, but he was sure that, giving the circumstances, he had no chance with you.

As you got closer to your target, you heard the guy singing along a song you knew. It was hard to fight the impulse of singing as well, but you weren´t going to compromise the whole mission just to get a few seconds of one of the things you enjoyed doing the most.

Before they called the scientist out, Sam led you to a corner and asked you to stay there, he didn´t want to put you at risk. You silently obeyed.

The following events happened way too fast. Sharon warned the guys that the bounty hunters were outside; the guys got information from the scientist but lost whatever other thing he could say because Zemo shot him as Sharon arrived. You were in shock. You had never seen anyone die before, not like that, and it hurt Zemo deeply. Knowing he had to do that with you there, he hated himself for causing such hurt in you, but it had been necessary. You didn´t want to understand, you didn´t want to think about it, or talk about it. You were sure Zemo had his reasons, you didn´t justify him, at all, but you didn´t want to ask.

An explosion followed the events, and if Sam hadn´t gone back for you, you wouldn´t have heard Bucky calling your name because of the high pulsating sound that you had in your ears as a result from the explosion. Sam threw his arm around your waist and guided you out. The warm feeling of his body helped a little bit, you were more focused and the sounds returned to you.

Bucky and Sam were arguing about god knows what when you saw him. Zemo was wearing a purple mask (that you would have found insanely hot if he hadn´t just shot a guy). He was racing on top of the containers, and in agile and fast movements he knocked three guys and caused an explosion (you didn´t see how) that got rid of the other ones.

It was Bucky´s turn to grab your hand and lead you to a container, where Sam, Sharon, Bucky and you hid until you heard a roar and wheels squealing. You walked outside with a puzzled gaze, and you couldn´t help the laughter that came out from you as you saw Zemo in a beautiful, shining car.

-Fully charged- he said with a huge smirk as he winked at you. You giggled like a schoolgirl and hoped no one had noticed the redness in your cheeks. You headed for the front seat, and from the inside Zemo opened the door for you. Sharon said goodbye and walked away.

-I apologize, it wasn´t my intention for you to see that- Zemo said softly and with a truthfully regretful face. He was talking about him shooting the doctor.

-Look, I won´t say I understand, but again, I know nothing about what´s going on so I´m not gonna judge you. I might be a complete pacifist, but I can understand we all have our reasons to do what we do, and, well, you are consistent in your words and actions-.

Sam and Bucky were fighting about who would take which place, but as they heard the conversation going on between you and the Baron, they both stopped to listen. Zemo looked at you, waiting for you to elaborate.

-What I mean is, you said you believe the serum needs to be destroyed, so ending the person that knew how to recreate it seems like a step for that- Zemo was left speechless. You made it clear you didn´t agree or approve of what he did, but you were still saying you tried to understand, and you recognized you weren´t one to judge him. Each time you opened your mouth, the three were stunned. For a moment, Bucky told himself you would be an ideal person to talk to about everything he had gone through, if you tried to understand Zemo, maybe you would be able to help him to stop seeing himself as a monster, but he quickly scolded himself for having that thought, remembering he knew you from less than two days.

You were now inside Zemo´s jet. To say you were impressed was a complete understatement. You had never seen such luxury, and your three new friends find it insanely cute how you got excited over a fancy glass of champagne, and how much you praised Oeznik for the wine he offered.

Shortly after, you were all at Riga. Bucky excused himself and went for a walk, and Zemo showed the safehouse you would be staying at. It was small, but still managed to be fancier than all the houses you had ever lived in. It was cozy and you had a room of your own, thing that you appreciated. You wouldn´t have been able to keep your composure if having to sleep next to any of the guys.

-Here, I sent Oeznik to buy some clothes for you- Zemo handed you three huge bags filled with what seemed to be comfortable and fashionable clothes.

-Wait, what? Oh you didn´t have to, here I´ll pay you for them and please, where´s Oeznik? I need to thank him as well…-Zemo didn´t let you continue.

-Hey, these are on me, and you can thank Oeznik tomorrow, he´s staying somewhere else, for his safety-. You would have argued and even tried to force Zemo to grab the money you were offering, but something on his eyes said he needed to do this for you, so instead, you hugged him.

His body felt still and hard at first, but he slowly dropped the bags he was carrying and complied. You quickly separated and headed for your room in order to change.

Once you had a fresh set of clothes, Sam and you decided to make something to eat. Pasta pesto was what you decided to make. While the pasta was cooking and after the sauce was done, you couldn´t help put cover your finger in oil and splatter it in Sam´s face. He looked at you in shock and you immediately regretted the action, feeling completely embarrassed, but before you knew, he acted.

-Oh, hell no!- he said as he smashed an egg against your head. You laughed out loud and continued looking for things to throw at him. This escalated to the point in which Zemo, that was siting calmly across the room, ended covered in flour (no, he didn´t participate in the food fight), and when Bucky arrived he could only see two children playing behind the counter.

-Guys- Bucky announced, calling you and Sam´s attention and stopping your giggles.

-The Dora Milaje are after Zemo, I managed to get you some more hours, but they aren´t happy-.

-Thank you for defending me, James- Zemo said with a smirk and Bucky just responded with a gruff.

-Wait, who are those? What will they do to Zemo?- You asked as you cleaned the cinnamon that covered your arm.

-They are Wakandan warriors, implacable ones, and they want to take Zemo back to prison- Your heart sank at the idea of not seeing him again. You looked at him with obvious sadness in your face.

-But you can stop them right? They won´t take him?- Your heartbroken voice shattered all three man, but they weren´t gonna lie to you.

-I can´t do anything, they have the right to imprison him, and nothing I do or say will change that- Bucky finished. Zemo turned to you and gave you a reassuring smile. You read his lips saying I´ll be fine, but you didin´t want to say goodbye, to any of them, why did you have to?

Taglist:

@bry-97

#tfatws #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x reader #helmut zemo x reader #james buchanan barnes #sam wilson #hemlut zemo #zemo #fan fiction #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel #marvel x y/n #bucky barnes #sam wilson imagine #helmut zemo fanfiction

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seventeensarmy · 4 years ago

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(2) Stuck With You (OT7!Hybrid Au)

Pairing: OT7xReader, Jungkook x Reader, rest will come in the course of the story

Warnings: a tiny bit angst in like the flashbacks, but also combined with fluff, bad written smut , oral (m. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex (reader is on pill, but i didn´t write that. Also don´t do unprotected sex!), spanking, dom/sub dynamics, that i described idk.. maybe a bit to obvious.

Words: 3.670

Summary: Planning to train the whole day doesn´t sit well with Jungkook, especially if he gets easily distracted. (Not gonna lie, this is kind of a filler chapter, because I wanted to give a bit more detail to JK´s and readers realationship)

A/N: Next Chapter we´ll have the next member appear, share your guesses?!

Previous / Next

Chapter two

“And do you know where I want you? On your knees”

Taglist: @imezz @anxietylovesme @holaaaf @ot7purple

(Not my gif)

One year ago ( Jungkook 21 / Reader 20)

"Stop cheating!", you exclaimed, looking giggling through the mirror, watching Jungkook trying to warm up with you.

This morning he had insisted to try to warm up with you, but he quickly realised, that a ballet warm up looks a lot different than a normal gym warm up.

You were standing and bending down trying to reach your toes.

Jungkook, being the good boyfriend he is, said he had to watch you do it first, so he'd know how to do it. Naively, you believed him, continuing with your warm up, not noticing that Jungkook didn't participate until you looked up to change the exercise.

"I'm not cheating, I'm practising my patience", he smirked, "You don't know how much patience and will it takes me to not take you right here. Seeing you so nicely bend over for me"

You felt the blood rush into your face, standing up straight to look up to him.

"Don't distract me", you whined, shuddering as his hands roamed over your body, setting on your behind. "I didn't get to train yesterday either", you pouted, remembering the way he didn't even let you leave the bed yesterday.

His grip tightened around your waist, one hand left to bring down a harsh slap on your ass, making you whimper.

"But I'm pretty sure you still owe me two free days, seeing as you trained three weeks non-stop."

You looked away, not wanting to see his smirk, as you realised he was right.

The last years had been rough, but better because of Jungkook.

After hearing about your parents’ death you didn't know what to do. You were underage with no family, you couldn't live alone.

The lawyer came the next day and had even brought his hybrid, claiming that maybe the hybrid would have a calming effect on you.

After smelling the hybrid Jungkook came stomping out of the room he was hiding in, saying if someone would calm you it was him.

The lawyer had asked you if Jungkook was your hybrid and you admitted that he wasn't. The both of you feared that Jungkook would now be taken to a shelter, but were surprised when the lawyer asked you if you wanted him to be.

You and Jungkook were speechless, Jungkook becoming your hybrid?! You nodded your head rapidly and you could swear Jungkooks eyes were becoming teary.

After that the lawyer asked if you had anyone who could be your guardian and you immediately thought of your nanny and cook.

Unsurprisingly both of the asked adults didn't even need to be convinced. But seeing as they both had their own families and didn't want to move into your house and you didn't want to intrude in their lives, you came to the decision that you would stay in the house on your own and the staff would just come to work like they used to.

Money was a bit trickier; till you were legal your guardians would be in control of the money your parent left you. It was a huge sum and you were grateful, that even though your parents seemed to be travelling a lot they still managed to save up just as much, if not more.

You and Jungkook should never have trouble with money, even of the staff was paid and bought the food from the same sum.

Now you were 20, last year you got your first credit card.

Hybrid laws were also changed in the last years, allowing them access to education (though not in public school) and even own money, so you also got a card for Jungkook with access to your money.

He started to be home-schooled with you, though he had to start first on the basics like reading and writing. But since its Jungkook, everything he set in his mind he achieved.

You were planning to stay in Busan till you finished your school, maybe then moving to Seoul. After talking about it with Jungkook a plan was easy made.

You'd finish school here and move to Seoul, you weren't sure though if you'd want to sell your home. Jungkook told you that, if you could afford to keep it, you should keep it.

Living with Jungkook was one of the best things to ever happen to you, he helped you to get over your parents death in a way no one else could. It had been hard, you couldn't eat and sleep, barley functioning.

It had been Jungkook who fed you when none of the staff could talk you into eating.

He was staying with you in your room, holding you while you were crying and mourning. True, the relationship to your parents was rough, them never being around and pressuring you. But they were still your parents and now they were dead.

"Kookie, please. Just an hour or so", you begged, it was true, you were training a lot, but you had a performance in a few days and saying you were nervous was an understatement. It was the first time you were dancing in a competition in the age class adult. The people you were competing against were probably a whole lot older than you. “I think you trained quiet a lot the last weeks. A few days rest would help you gain some more energy” Jungkook said frowning.

“I need the practice, I know you don´t like it, but they all have more experience than me. How am I supposed to keep up with them? I have enough energy, I just need to get the choreography right. There are still so many parts that aren´t perfect, did you see my last few turns? If I don´t work on them I don´t even need to show up to the competition. Also, why would you even let me warm up if you don´t want me to practice?”, you were starting to rant, but you couldn´t stop yourself now, hands wildly moving you started to realise how many flaws your dance still had.

Jungkooks hand came up to your face, holding your chin tightly, making you look up and stop your movement. His gaze made you freeze immediately.

Never had you thought that your poor bunny would be so dominant and you never thought you would be so submissive. Though Jungkook told you it was pretty clear from the beginning that even though you are the human, you weren't really in control. You didn't know if you should have been offended, but you couldn't find it in you. You had just scoffed, saying, that if you really wanted to be in charge you could, but saying it felt like lying and your boyfriend just laughed.

There was no other person that you trusted like him, so you didn't mind letting him take control, it kinda took away a lot of your anxiety and stress and you saw that Jungkook was enjoying it too. Finally being able to have some control after living on the streets for years and not being able to control his own destiny.

You were looking up to him, hoping he would at least give you an hour.

He chuckled at your try to convince him.

"You know I don't like you training too much. You're going to overwork yourself again", his tone was calm, but firm, you tried to avoid his gaze, but he still held your chin, not letting you look away.

"Just an hour, please Kookie. Just for my peace of mind. So I won't feel bad"

You could see him thinking, he was avoiding your eyes, knowing he would give in as soon as he looked at you.

Jungkook groaned, "You get one hour of normal training. Don't even think about pushing more than usual or I'll make you sit on that couch for the rest of the week. And I'm watching."

Knowing it wouldn´t be smart to argue you nodded, hugging him tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He rolled his eyes and sat down.

You started training, the moves just so flowing out of you, you didn´t even need to think about it. Dancing was the only thing in your life that was constantly there, before you had Jungkook, you had dance. While your parents had always pressured you to do better and told you to take part in competitions, you had still kept your love for ballet. Now dancing felt like the most natural thing to you, that doesn´t mean there weren´t moments where you wanted to quit.

You remember first starting to dance on pointe and how your toes kept hurting even days after. You couldn´t imagine continuing dancing like that, where was the fun in doing it when it was hurting you while doing it. You remember your mother screaming at you when you told her; you didn’t want to dance anymore. She was telling you how ungrateful you were being, claiming that you shouldn´t stop the only thing you were good at/for just because you were weak.

But you also remember Jungkook comforting you when you were crying to him that day, you almost expected him to tell you to quit, because you were crying so much. You knew he didn´t like seeing you sad or hurt, so it would only make sense for him to tell you to stop, but he didn´t. Instead he told you, that dancing was your passion and you shouldn´t stop just because you hit a rough patch.

“It may be hurting now, but imagine how you´ll be feeling once you can dance absolutely free. You´ll be able to do anything you like. Don´t you think that pain will be worth it in the end?” Your first reaction to his speech was a snort, no eleven year old boy could talk like that, you were convinced he heard something along the lines before somewhere and decided to recite that to you. But then you saw the serious look on his face and understood that he knew what he said and he meant it. You went to bed that day thinking about his words, you couldn´t really imagine how it would feel to dance without pain again, you didn´t think that would be possible again. Then the words Jungkook spoke hit you, you wanted to know how it would feel, you wanted to dance.

Thinking back on it now, you realised how stupid you were for even thinking about stopping dancing, but that´s why you were also so thankful for the bunny. You didn´t know how you would have decided without him, maybe you would have continued for your mother and grew to hate it, maybe you would have stopped and suffered the wrath of your mother.

Arms snaked around your torso, stopping your movement; you felt a hand brush your cheek. “Why are you crying?” Jungkook asked softly. You didn´t realise you were crying, you held eye contact through the mirror, cupping his hand with your smaller one and leant back on him. The two of you were just swaying comfortably to the music in the background.

“I just thought about how thankful I´m for you” you said quietly, knowing your boyfriend will hear you anyway. “You are pretty amazing, you know?”

Jungkook grinned before firing tiny kisses to your cheek and jaw, “I know I´m great, but don´t forget that you made me this great.” You shook your head, “You did that by yourself, I just let you be.”

The song faded out, but the two of you stayed this close, still swaying with no real rhythm. “You know, I looked at some houses in Seoul. I think there are some you´d really like” Jungkook mumbled into your hair, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. You hummed before finally turning around to face him, “But Kookie, we still have to finish the school year here, before we can go and move out.”

You were a bit confused why he would already worry about your new place; you still had to finish your last year of home schooling. “I know, but I thought, that we could maybe start looking around a bit, also, your school year has like eight months left, which isn´t a year, if I´m correct”

Jungkook looked smug as he realised, you couldn´t really say anything against that, you shook your head and rolled your eyes, “Whatever” You tried to wiggle out of his grip, but the way to strong bunny didn´t let you move an inch.

Instead he gripped your chin tightly, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?” he asked in a low tone, sending shivers down your spine. When you first started dating Jungkook showed already, that he didn´t accept certain behaviours and he had no problem to put you in your place should you forget. After you helped him with his first rut he only got more demanding, but you didn´t mind.

You loved to see him so confident and sure of himself and he loved to see you trusting him so much to let him be. You knew he loved being in charge and having power and he knew you loved feeling small and being taken care of, in a way you could say, that your childhood made you what you are today.

“I´m sorry”, you whimper out, not wanting to meet his stern gaze, silently cursing yourself. You knew that there was a good chance he would punish you, he already punished you for less, and while you loved it and the pleasure it brought, you loved being good for him. You wanted to be praised, be his good girl, the way he would praise you and tell you how good you were being for him always managed to make your heart flutter.

“Look at me” the dominance in his voice alone would have made you crumble to your knees immediately, if it hadn´t been for his grip on your jaw. “Did we forget how to behave now?” he spoke in a condescending tone that made your thighs clench. “First you train too much, then you dare to talk back to me, wanting to train even more, overworking yourself again. And now you roll your eyes at me and can´t even look at me. What am I gonna do with you, you brat?”

“I´m sorry Kookie, I really am”, you whine, hands softly gripping onto his arm. Jungkooks eyes soften for a short bit, before turning hard again. “I believe you are, baby girl. I know how much you love to be good for me, but sorry isn´t going to cut it this time. I think you need to be reminded where your place is. Tell me little girl, do you know where your place is?”

You shuddered, finally looking up to him through your lashes, already knowing what he wanted to hear, Jungkook watched with hungry eyes as you spoke, “Wherever you want it to be, Kookie. My place is wherever you want me.” Your boyfriend hummed in agreement, “And do you know where I want you? On your knees”

Without having to be told twice you sank to your knees, hands already on the zipper of his pants and Jungkook didn´t stop you, as you pulled his hard member out.

“That´s right, my baby already knows what I want from her. Trained her so good, so obedient for me. Go on little dancer, take it in your mouth. If you do good maybe I´ll let you cum today”

With new motivation you took the head of his member in your mouth, before flattening your tounge against his the underside of his dick. You kitten licked him a few times, but started taking him all in after he growled at you not to tease him. You began to steady bob your head up and down and Jungkooks groaning from above you told you, you did everything right. A hand came down to your hair and he started to control the pace, making you gag as his dick hit the back of your throat.

“That´s right little dancer, taking me so well, looking so pretty while you choke on my dick.”

Jungkook watched you with hooded eyes, your hands tightly gripped the back of his thighs, tears leaking your eyes and the only sound to be heard were Jungkooks quiet groans. “Ah fuck baby girl, if we keep going like that I´m gonna cum” he moaned and you brought your hands to his balls, trying to make him cum, especially after tasting his pre cum on your tounge.

But Jungkook had other plans, he pulled you off his dick making you stand up. “That´s not where I´m cuming in baby girl. Up to the mirror, hands against it” Before he even finished talking you were already in motion. Bend over, hands pressed against the mirror. You felt Jungkook standing behind you, big hands roaming over your back till they came to rest on your hips.

“Always so responsive for me, good girl” he praised knowing it´s what you´ve been dying to hear. His feet kicked softly against your ankles, making you widen your stance, before he hooked his fingers under your shorts, pulling them down along with your panties.

You whimper as the cool air hit your core, you arched your back, hoping Jungkook would get the hint to finally fuck you. You felt finger tips brushing down your spine till they came to a stop at your core. Whining you tried to push back, wanting Jungkook to touch you where you needed him most, but as he picked up on your neediness he chuckled, his one hand on your hips limiting your movements. “If there´s something my little dancer wants, she should just speak up”

You looked at him through the mirror, hoping your pout would make him soften up and just give you what you want. He caught your pout and smirked, one finger stroking painfully slow over your clit, making your legs tremble. “Is there something you want me to do? You are so wet, I bet there´s something you want. Speak up baby girl, you were so good at talking back earlier”

You whined at the thought of having to voice your wishes, but your whine was quickly replaced by a groan, as you felt his finger leaving your clit. Gone was the only stimulation you had gotten so far.

“No no no, Kookie. I want you to fuck me” you exclaimed loudly. You looked at Jungkook through the mirror, his face darkening and you realised, you may have forgotten something. Before you could talk again, a harsh slap came down to your ass, followed by the next. You first yelled out, but quickly started to find the pleasure in the sting. “Did you lose your manners? Is that how you talk to me? I thought you were my good girl?” he asked, not stopping spanking you and you couldn´t control your cries anymore. You could feel how wet you were and you needed him, now.

“I´m sorry, Kookie. Please, please fuck me. I promise I´ll be good. But please I need you to fuck me”, you begged and almost let out a sob as you felt his thick member slowly pushing into you. “Yes, yes, please- fuck Kookie” you rambled as he completely entered you, not giving you much time to adjust and starting off in a fast pace. Jungkooks hands both found your waist, holding you as he fucked into you. The only sound to be heard was the sound of slapping skin and yours and Jungkooks moans. You threw you head back, letting Jungkook lean forward to leave his marks all over your neck. One of his hands snaked their way between your legs, finding your clit and helping the knot in your lower stomach build.

“Look at what a good girl you can be if you want. Begging like a good girl, letting me mark you up, so everyone knows you are mine- fuck such a good girl” Jungkook moaned making your head loll in bliss. You felt your orgasm approaching, your pussy clenching around Jungkooks length. “Fuck! Keep clenching like that. Are you close, you wanna cum on my dick? Letting me pump you full of my load, yeah?”

“F-fuck, please Kookie. I wanna cum, please, can I cum? Please I-I” you were babbling by know, the pleasure coming from Jungkook combined with his dominant aura was clouding your senses. He chuckled and moaned as he also felt his dick twitch, “Look at you being my good girl and asking. Cum for me.”

At his words you felt white pleasure run over you, you came moaning Jungkoooks name, head falling forwards. Your legs felt like they might give up if it wasn´t for Jungkook holding you. Jungkooks thrust’s starting becoming sloppy, letting you know, that he was also close as he continued to fuck you.

Your pussy clenched around him, causing Jungkook to also finally cum, his finger dung into the flesh of your hips, no doubt leaving more marks. He moaned out your name, along with a few cuss words, before stilling. The sound of your heavy breathing filled the room.

Slowly he pulled himself out and turned you around, so you were standing chest to chest, you both still fully clothed above your hips. Jungkook pulled you into a sweet kiss, “My good girl, you did so well for me. I love you” You melted at his words, but the sweet moment was ruined as you felt his warm cum running down your leg. Jungkook noticed and swept you up in his arms, “Let´s get you cleaned up. How about a bath and then a movie?��

You nodded and relaxed in his arms, you pressed a sweet kiss to his neck and murmured a quiet “I love you Kookie”, but by the tightening of his grip and the smile on his face you knew that he heard you just fine.

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whatdidimissjm · 4 years ago

Note

"It's me, it's me! Stop!" From the fever prompt.. jamilton?

Thank you so much for your ask! I wanted to write this so much sooner but the last days were a bit... eventful haha, but I hope you like what I came up with :)

Prompt list

What in the hell was that?

Thomas frowns, when he looks at his phone and sees that Alex still hasn´t texted him back. Normally the other man always replies in an instant, but it has been over an hour now since Thomas has sent the text. With a sigh he gets up and makes his way to the building next door, where his husband works, to pick him up for their lunch date. He nods in greeting at Alexander´s co-workers and makes small talk with Eliza in the elevator, who tells him that she hasn´t seen Alex all morning. This causes Thomas to frown once more, because that doesn´t sound like him at all. He can´t help but feel a bit worried as he walks down the hallway to Alex´s office and knocks on the door. His unease grows even more when he doesn´t get a reply, so he knocks again, but Alex still doesn´t answer the door, so he slowly opens it.

Thomas lets out a sigh of relief when he finds Alex sitting at his desk, his head in his arms. The younger man appears to be sleeping and Thomas smiles down at him and takes his phone out of the pocket of his suit pants to take a picture, so that he can tease Alex later for sleeping at the job. After he has snapped a few photos, he walks around the table to wake Alex up. He gently shakes his shoulder, whispering a soft “Alex, time to wake up.”, but the younger man doesn´t stir.

“Hey, Alex, wake up.”, Thomas says again, a worried undertone in his voice.

This time Alex lets out a groan and screws up his face in distaste, his eyes still pressed close. Thomas chuckles softly and raises his hand to pet his husband´s hair, but he shies away from the touch, his eyes darting around the room in panic. He doesn´t seem to notice Thomas and flinches again when he reaches for him. Thomas´ heart drops in his chest in fear, as Alex tries to fight him off, which causes him to fall off the chair. Even as he´s lying on the ground, he is lashing out and Thomas can feel panic rising inside of him.

“It´s me! It´s me! Stop!”, Thomas says, trying to sound calm, but there is a slight edge in his voice.

Finally, Alex´s eyes seem to clear, and he looks around the room, the confusion clear in his face.

“Thomas?”, Alex asks tentatively, and he nods.

“Yeah it´s me, baby. What the hell was that?”

His heart is still beating far too fast and the anxiety isn´t entirely gone yet. Alex shrugs and holds out his hand for Thomas to help him to his feet.

“I think I was having a nightmare when you woke me up.”

Thomas lets out a hum and brushes a strand of Alex´s hair behind his ear, his hand still shaking a bit. As he touches Alex´s skin he notices how hot it is and moves to press the back of his hand against Alex´s forehead, who frowns at him.

“I think you´re running a fever. I´m bringing you home.”

Alex shakes his head and slips out of Thomas´ arms, returning to his desk.

“No. I can work.”

A sigh escapes Thomas as he regards his husband with a stern look.

“Alex, when I came in you were sleeping. That doesn´t look like working to me.”

The younger man crosses his arms in front of his chest and pouts.

“I can work now.”

“You´re shivering.”

“It´s cold in here.”

Thomas just shakes his head.

“It´s summer, and the air condition is broken. It´s stiflingly hot in here.”

Alex´s shoulders slump in resignation and for a moment it looks like he´s about to start crying.

“I don´t wanna be sick.”, he mumbles, and Thomas gives him a sad smile.

“I know baby, but let me get you home and you´re gonna be fit in no time.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Alex holds out his hands again and Thomas pulls him to his feet, wrapping his arms around him. He presses a kiss to the top of his head and Alex slumps against him, trusting Thomas to hold him up. They stay like this for some time, until Thomas gently pushes Alex away.

“Come, at home in bed is a lot more comfortable for this, don´t you think?”

Alex lets out a noncommitting noise, but follows Thomas out of the office, nonetheless. They meet Eliza outside again, who promises Alex to let Washington know that he´s going home. Inside of the elevator Alex lets himself fall against Thomas, who wraps his arms around the smaller man. Alex mumbles something, but it´s too muffled by Thomas´ shirt for him to understand.

“What was that baby?”, he asks, and Alex lets out a groan.

“I said, I think my head is trying to kill me.”

“Well then be glad that I´m getting you home.”

Alex lets out a huff.

“You woke me up, so it´s your fault that I´m having that headache right now.”

Thomas shakes his head and pushes Alex out of the elevator.

“You can be glad that you´re sick, otherwise you´d be in trouble.”

Alex chuckles, but almost immediately his face screws up in pain and he touches his forehead. He looks up at Thomas with a helpless expression and the older man wraps his arm around Alex´s back, guiding him outside.

“We´ll be home soon and there you can take painkillers.”

They are both quiet on their way to Thomas´ car and as soon as they get inside, Alex grabs Thomas´ sweater from the backseat and puts it on. Even with the sweater on he is shivering though, and Thomas can´t help glancing over at him from time to time on their way home.

As they walk up to their front door, Thomas tells Alex to go lay down in their bedroom, while he gets some meds for him. Instead of a smartass remark like normally, Alex just gives him a grateful smile and does as he´s told, which tells Thomas how bad he is really feeling. Thomas hurries to gather all the medication Alex might need, as well as some tea, before he makes his way to the bedroom. He finds Alex asleep on top of the covers and quietly puts the tray he was carrying down on the bedside table. Then he goes and closes the curtains, before moving back to the bed. Thomas carefully shifts Alex around so that he can cover him with the blanket and just as he thinks that he has managed to do so without waking Alex up, the younger man opens his eyes and blinks up at him.

“You promised to cuddle with me.”, Alex mumbles, and Thomas gives him a warm smile.

“Of course, baby.”

He slips underneath the cover next to Alex, who instantly pulls him closer. Thomas presses a kiss to Alex´s forehead and Alex lets out a soft sigh and closes his eyes.

“Being sick sucks, but it does less so when you are here.”, Alex says quietly.

“I did promise you in sickness and in health, even though you are a pain in the ass in both.”

Alex lets out a huff.

“You are worse.”

“Sleep now. I thought you have a headache.”

For a moment Thomas thinks Alex is going to fight him on that again, but he remains silent, so Thomas allows himself to relax too, gently stroking Alex´s hair, while he drifts off to sleep.

#jamilton #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #hamilton #hamilton fic #hamilton musical #mine #my writing #my fics #sickfic

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amindofstone · 4 years ago

Text

I just realised...

a/n: I apologize for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. English is not my mother tongue but still I´m trying to do my best and improve myself. (This got edited quite a few times now)

Say whatever you want. You can disagree. I promise you that I´m gonna be okay with that but....

But at some point I think that Kakashi Hatake is the actual representation and a “living” example of I´m sad as fck. I´m broken to the point I don´t even know myself anymore. I´m damaged to the point I don´t even know if what I´m doing is right. I'm lost to the point I don't even know what the actual reason for my life is and what I am or at least should be living for but I´m gonna smile because that´s what everyone expects me to do. And I´m gonna do whatever I get told to do because there is nothing and no one left I can or should live for anyways.

I know that this is a bit different than the things I usually post and my actual reason on why I made this acc but after watching Naruto as an 21 years old college student, I realised how deep, sad, emotional but also philosophical Naruto is. As a “child” I loved watching Naruto because of their abilities and the fact that kids could be so strong & powerful. Something that every child would want to be. But as for now I have to admitt that the only thing I did while watching this anime (for more than half of the episodes) was crying my soul out. Never ever did I thought that I´ll be relating to a fictional character to this point. Gaara, Itachi, Pain & Kakashi made me feel like I wasn't alone with my pain and hardships in life. I felt understood and happy. But therefore I could understand them too. I was able to understand their choices and the paths they went. I understood their pain and feelings.

Kakashi, the man that was smiling through the whole series although he was hurt, lonely and broken inside but still smiled made me realise how sad and broken I actually am. Life was and is gonna be hard for me. But I learned that one day I'll be able to go through a reconciliation with myself and life just like him. I learned that one day I'll be able to look back and think less negative and bad about myself and my life. I really hope that one day I'll be able to sign a contract of peace with my soul.

Going back to Kakashi I really would like to explain how much I love, admire and respect this character but sadly I just don´t know how. His entire life was an actual tragedy. Sad from beginnig to the end. He didn´t have a normal childhood. He lost one beloved person after another. But still. But still he managed to stay in the right path. He still managed to do good and be good. He gave people the feeling of security and hope. He got called cold hearted because of what life turned him into whithout actually thinging why he is like that. He propably was also seen as someone unpredictable and got judged by preconseptions but he never said anything. He never complained. He still looked in everyone eyes and smiled politely. And never ever did he drift of to the dark side. Never did he let his dark emotions take the lead in his life.

Kakashi, really is a impressiv character. He teaches that although one might go to a lot of hardships, pain and sadness one never should let the negativity in one take the lead. Because there is always light, even in the most darkest places. His life that was a tragedy. A beautiful catharsis, taught me a lot. I´m really happy that I let my friend convience me to watch it all over again. Because it really was worth my time and sleep. As weird as it might sound but that series. That anime taught me more about life, emotions, relationships, hopes and dreams than school or family did.

Naruto will have a special place in my heart for as long as I will be living. This anime really touched me. And the huge amout of tears I shed are an actual proof for that...

I really could talk hours and hours about how much I fell in love with this anime. I could talk days and nights about how much I fell in love with the stories and the personalities of Kakashi, Itachi, Pain and Gaara. But I think I should stop here and get back to studying.....

Well that´s it for now I guess. But yeah I´m in love with Kakashi although this is hella weird. Like actually weird on a whole new level... I never thought that I would be attached to a fictional character to this point but well here we are... Like jokes aside now. I have way to much pictures and quotes of him saved in my phone...

Anyways, have a great day/eve and make sure to take care of yourself. But before I go let me drop some quotes of my favourite characters in Naruto.

“When someone utters, „Life is hard.“ I´ve always been tempted to ask, “Compared to what?” – Kakashi Hatake

"Forget about revenge. The fate of those who seek revenge is grim. It's tragic, You will end up suffering and hurting yourself even more. Even if you do succeed in getting revenge, the only thing that remains is emptiness." - Kakashi Hatake

“if you don't understand someone pain then you don't understand him” ― Nagato

“Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall i order to grow, lose in order to gain. Because life´s great lessons are learned through pain“ - Nagato

"People Live their Lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That is how they define "Reality" . But what does it mean to be "correct" or "true"? They are merely vague concepts... Their "Reality" may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to be simply living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs?" - Itachi Uchiha

“We have walked through the darkness of this world, that’s why we are able to see even a sliver of light. ” – Gaara

“Peace under an illusion is not true peace. It´s only meaningful if the real world manages to accomplish it.“ - Gaara

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ykwrites · 3 years ago

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hello i love your works <3 could you do some time type of scenario where tsukishima’s s/o is very family/home oriented. like they take care of their siblings or work after school to support their family. and how tsukishma supports them or how he reacts to finding out. ooo maybe like angst moment where they have to quit their club or something they like/love to support their family. i’m sorry if that’s confusing, i hope you understand me. <3

Hi! Thank you so much :) You explained yourself perfectly so dw.

I´ll do my best and I hope you like it !!

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x reader

Warnings: None.

Rating: SFW

Requests: OPEN.

Tsukishima watched his girlfriend from the other side of the court, she was sitting on the bleachers and seeme to doze off from time to time.

He got a bit worried, this wasn´t the enthusiastic Y/n that cheered for him during practice. She looked tired, eyebags showing and hair up in a messy bun.

She only reacted when the ball hit Tsukishima´s face so hard he fell back. Y/n quickly ran up to him, checking if he was okay.

''Kei! You shouldn´t be so distracted, you can get hurt''she nagged, rubbing the side of his head carefully.

''I´m okay''

''I don´t know, man''Daichi spoke''You should rest for today''

Tsukishima didn´t even argue, knowing that his captain was impossible to convince when he decided on something.

You both got out of the gym together, walking towards your house in silence. He always took you home, and today you couldn´t help but look at him, wondering if his head hurt.

Before you could speak, you let out a tired yawn and Tsukishima turned to look at you.

''I´m sorry''you apologized.

''What is going on with you?''

The question sounded more agressive than it needed to, It wasn´t his intention.

You pulled youself back, not knowing if he should know why you were so tired.

''I didn´t mean to sound so rude''

''Don´t worry''

''That´s impossible, you´ve been falling asleep at school and now you look too tired to even walk''

''I don´t sleep very well lately''it was a lie, you didn´t sleep much but it was enough.

What made you so tired was something Tsukishima didn´t know, your relationship was fairly new when your dad lost his job, so you started working long hours to help at home. A few weeks passed and your dad started working again, only he wasn´t paid much at all.

You knew it must´ve felt weird for your boyfriend to see you change, at first you went to all his matches and practices, and hung out with him all the time. However, now you focused on your family more than anything, bills needed to be paid, your mom couldn´t work and you tried hard to maintain school, work and having a boyfriend at the same time.

Tsukishima was smart, he probably noticed you skipping school some days and suddenly being too busy, at first you said you were studying, but then he offered to help and you refused.

''This has been going on for a long time''as you thought, he noticed.

You didn´t know what to say, your body was tired, you felt sad because he was being neglected in a way.

''I...please stop walking''he held your arm so you did.

Sometimes you thought about telling him what was going on, but he didn´t want him to worry or worse, leave you because he may think he is not important to you.

''Talk to me''he put a hand on your shoulder, stroking with his thumb in a comforting way.

''Don´t worry''again, you shrugged it off.

''Okay, I know I´m terrible expressing how I feel, but it breaks my heart to see you like this, I didn´t ask before because I din´t want to push you to tell me anything you don´t want''

''Sorry''tears pooled in your eyes, trying not to look at his face.

''Y/n, don´t cry''he suddenly hugged you tight''I am here for you''

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and now you were really crying, letting yourself be vulnerable with him.

''My dad got fired from his old job, the new one is shit and I´ve been working full time to help my family pay bills, I am tired all the time, I thought about leaving school more than once''you explained in between sobs.

''I´m sorry''Tsukishima caressed your back''You should´ve told me, I can try and help, I´ll help''

''No, please don´t, this is my problem''

''Don´t say that'' he let go of you and made you look up at him with his hands on your cheeks, his eyes were watery''It´s our problem from now on, you are dealing with so much pressure and I won´t let you stop going to school, you´ve always dreamed of getting in a good uni''

''There´s no way I´ll let you give me money''

''I won´t if you don´t want to, but I can help with your schoolwork and get meals ready for you, you can even bring your laundry and I´ll do it, whatever small thing you can think of''

''I don´t know...''

''Whatever takes some wheight off your chest, I´ll do it''

''That´s not a 50-50 relationship, Kei''

''A good relationship for me is showing love for one another, you showed me love by still supporting my hobby and I will show you mine however I can''

For the first time in a while, you smile, feeling so lucky to have him.

''Do you work today?''he asked, smiling too.

''No, it´s my day off''

''Let´s go to my house, I will cook you something and then we can sleep and be lazy the whole day''

''Oh god, I love you''

''I love you too''

Tsukishima left a short kiss on your lips and linked your hands together before walking to his house.

#tsukishima smau #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima scenario #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu x reader #hq headcanons #tsukishima headcanons

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harrystyleswatermelon-sugar · 4 years ago

Text

Gas station encounter - Part VI

Part V

“What, no? I would never…no” I can see that he doesn’t believe me and sigh. We walk back to the elevator and before the elevator comes up, I face him. I gather a lot of my braveness and ask:

“Why are you bothered by him? He is a nice guy, absolute son-in-law-material” he snorts not very elegant and shoots me a glance.

“Just want to be sure you choose the right one” he shrugs his shoulders and steps into the elevator.

“And you think you know, who the right one is? Great, show me I am waiting for forever to find him” I reply sarcastically and add:

“Oh wait, maybe you should find yourself someone first because you are unsuccessful with it as well” his eyes are full of hurt and I feel bad because of my harsh words.

“You are right, I am not in the position to judge who you are dating” he agrees and now I feel even worse. He walks straight past me when we arrive downstairs and leaves the hospital. It is still snowing and I follow him, finally getting a hold of his arm. He tries to shake my hand off, but it only glides downwards and I take his hand, holding him back and trying to turn him around, so we face each other.

“Wait. Look, I am sorry. I didn’t mean that…I just hate it, when someone wants to tell me what´s good for me. And I am not interested in Phil, absolutely not” I assure him and he sighs, entwining our fingers a bit more.

“It´s okay and you are right. I can´t find someone who stays with me for more than a year, who am I to give you any tips?” his eyes find mine and we look at each other for a few seconds.

“I want your tips and I want your opinion. You are the most important person I have at this point in my life. And honestly, all those models are stupid for leaving you” he grins and pulls me closer.

“I missed you…are you coming home with me?” he asks and I nod. We haven’t had an evening together for ages. Hand in hand we walk back to his car and I am glad that we fixed our argument. At his house, we both change into some comfy clothes and he makes some tea while I tug myself into the blanket on his couch.

“And I?” he asks and I lift the fabric, so he can slide right next to me under the cover. I lean my head against his shoulder and he pulls me close, one arm around my shoulders. We sit there for a long time, not saying anything and I love that it is not awkward.

“All those men are idiots, who are not hitting on you” he mumbles and I lift my head.

“What?”

“You heard me…they are idiots. You are the best that could happen to any man” he says a bit louder and turns his head to look at me.

“I was honestly jealous today, when he looked at you with those hungry eyes and his hands all over you” I can hear, that he means it and I remember his hurt expression back in the hospital.

“His hands were not all over me, H. We are colleagues” I remind him and he laughs dryly.

“He is hitting on you, don’t you see it?” I shake my head and he cocks an eyebrow at me.

“What has a man to do, so you see that he is hitting on you?” he asks laughing and I bite my lip.

“Probably I wouldn’t notice it until he kisses me…” I shrug my shoulders and feel his soft touch on my cheek. He cups it with his big hand and I look up into his mesmerizing green eyes. I have never seen such beautiful green eyes anywhere else than with him.

“I would have punched him if he did that” I giggle and shake my head lightly.

“You should be happy when I finally find someone”

“Only if he is a good guy. Oh, my mom says hi and she invited us, you and me, over for Christmas if you´d like” he suggests out of the blue and I am a bit startled. I haven’t even met his mom in real life. I only joined a facetime session once.

“Erm…honestly I can´t I would love to but…” I reply and yes, I really would love to. He looks a bit sad but he nods.

“I understand, you have your own routine at Christmas. It´s okay” he smiles and I turn, to face him fully.

“Look, Dr Seymour has a family and Dr Sally worked last year on Christmas so this year it´s my turn. I´m sorry, I am free from the 26th to New Year though” I hope he understands what I want to say but I don’t have to worry. He smiles widely and nods.

“Great then how about coming up to Cheshire later? I mean if you want, it´s some time we both are free” he gets a bit nervous and I giggle, slapping his arm.

“Of course I want that. I will jump right in my car and come to Cheshire” he hugs me and I smile into his neck.

Korrigiert

The Christmas days are very quiet in the hospital, we usually allow the kids to go home. Only the very sick patients have to stay and I always hope that no one dies during those days, it would ruin Christmas for the whole family forever, but this year I am not lucky. A little boy dies and I have to be there only half a day before I want to go to Cheshire. Maybe it is not a good time to make a 4-hour drive. I call Harry when I have a bit time but he convinces me to come nevertheless and he promises to be there for me and make everything less bad.

When I finally get there around 10 pm I am fucking tired and annoyed. I stop in the driveway and take a deep breath. Anne's home looks lovely, everything is white and the house is decorated festively. The windows are light up and I can see Gemma and Anne in the kitchen.

I calm down a bit and grab my suitcase. As I put my stuff into my bag and lean into my car I can hear the front door open.

I smile at Harry and walk towards him. He steps outside in simple jeans and a T-Shirt.

“Hello there, ´s nice to see you. Merry Christmas” he says and hugs me tight. I sigh as I feel his warmth radiating against me and rest my head on his shoulder. I notice that his accent got a bit thicker, probably because they all talk like this.

“Hi, Merry Christmas to you, too” I reply and look up into his beautiful eyes.

“Are you okay? Or do I need to cheer you up before we get inside?” he asks a bit worried but I shake my head. Being here and with him already made the pain better.

“It´s okay. I am shy anyway, you know that. Let´s get in before you turn to ice” he laughs and takes my suitcase.

In the living room, I meet his mom. She is smiling so friendly that I don´t feel unwelcome or weird here at all.

“Mom, this is Y/N. This is my mom” he introduces us and Anne takes my extended hand.

“It´s so nice to finally meet you. Please call me Anne and feel completely at home. I can´t wait to show you Harrys baby pictures so you can annoy him with them” we laugh and my heart grows very heavy. I suddenly turn a bit sad, because I don´t have such a great family who is proud of me and supports me. I am all alone.

Gemma hugs me and hands me a glass of wine. We salute each other and Gemma tells Anne the story of how we met.

During dinner I watch them interact and try to get as much information as possible. I can feel the love in this house and I can see how proud Anne is of her kids and how much Harry adores his family. They mock each other but in a loving way and I love seeing it. Being part of it.

We clean everything up and while Harry and Gemma try to figure out, what we are doing now, I stay behind with Anne in her kitchen.

“You are a doctor? He told me about your job and I can´t imagine how hard this job must be” she asks and I nod.

“Yes, I graduated 2 years ago and I love my job and those kids. He probably told you that I try to not bond with other people…which seems odd because it was so easy with H” I laugh and she hands me a glass of wine.

“He is a sweetheart, I would doubt your heart if you could have resisted him in any way. How old are you?”

“I´ll turn 28 next February. You raised him right, you really got two gems there. Oh, by the way, thank you so much for inviting me over, I have a present for you” I remember and she laughs as I get her the present. I bought an expensive and very good bottle of wine and hand her the present.

“Oh honey, that wouldn’t have been necessary. But thank you, come ´ere” she hugs me and I am glad I chose the right gift.

“Mom, Y/N we want to watch a movie, are you coming?” I hear Harry from the living room and Anne and I smile at each other.

“I like you very much, it´s a bit of a disappointment that you are friends. Why can´t he bring someone like you as a partner” she sighs and I giggle a bit.

The siblings are sitting on the couch and Harry pulls me next to him while Anne and Gemma chat a bit and the intro of the film starts.

“I hope she was nice to you” he whispers and I look at him. The resemblance between him and Anne is enormous and I nod.

“I like her, now I know why you are who you are” he laughs a bit and kisses my forehead as I relax into his side.

I must have fallen asleep during the film because I wake up to quiet voices. I feel Harry's arm hugging me tight and I think I am lying half on top of his chest.

“Maybe we should wake her so she can go to bed, she is exhausted” Gemma suggests and Anne agrees.

“No, it doesn’t bother me that she sleeps. As long as we are awake she can stay right there” Harry replies and I sigh lifting my head.

“I´m awake but bed sounds good,” I say and rub my eyes. Harry pushes some of my hair out of my face and smiles at me.

“I´ll show you, come on” I wave goodnight to the ladies and stumble behind Harry.

“This is my room and yours is right next to it” he gestures as we are upstairs. He shows me the bathrooms and then leads me back to my room.

“I am so glad that you came, you can´t imagine,” he says as I sit on the bed.

“Me too. Tomorrow you could show me around town” I suggest and he agrees happily. I yawn and grab my sleeping clothes.

“Goodnight, Y/N. You can come over anytime, okay? See you tomorrow morning bright and smiley” I laugh and throw my arms around his neck.

“See you tomorrow” I reply and kiss his cheek, before he leaves me alone.

The next morning when I get downstairs Harry is already awake and sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and his phone.

“Good morning, love. Slept well?” he asks and I sit down next to him.

“Yes, can I get one cup of this too?” I ask and point to his coffee.

“Sure, mugs are up there and the coffee machine is easy to handle, I show you” he hands me a mug and shows me how to handle the machine. When we sit back at the table I feel him staring at me.

“What? You have seen me in the morning with no make-up” I say and touch my hair a bit irritated. Maybe I look weird. He chuckles and takes my hand. Usually, his fingers are full of rings but this morning they are clean and empty.

“I did. And I can´t get enough of it, you are so pretty” he bites his lip as if didn’t plan on saying that.

“Thank you, H” I squeeze his hand lightly and chuckle a bit.

“Mom said we behave like a couple and she is right…in some way. Guess you are the closest I have to a soulmate” we smile and I shake my head.

“Don’t worry, it´s the same with you for me. What about breakfast? Shall we make some for everybody?” I suggest and he nods.

“Absolutely. What about your delicious pancakes and will try myself on some beans and toast, traditional English?” he asks and I get up, pulling my hand out of his.

“Sounds delicious but you don’t try. You just do, because you are a great cook. That’s why you always cook when we have a sleepover” he laughs and gets the ingredients out of the cupboard.

I mix everything and watch him fiddling with the can opener for the beans. When the first pancakes are cooking I take the can opener from him and help him, he frowns.

“I feel stupid” he laughs and I wink at him.

“Well Mr Superstar, if you can´t even open a can…I´m joking, I´m joking” I giggle and try to scoot away from his hands but he pokes my sides and tickles me.

“You are mean” he scowls and I can´t stop laughing, patting my hand behind me on the kitchen to find the flour. I stick my whole hand in it and he raises an eyebrow because he can´t see what´s happening behind my back.

“What are you doing with your-“ he gets cut off when I smear my flour-covered hand right across his face. The expression of shock on his face makes me laugh even more and before I catch my breath he rubs his face against mine and shares the flour with me. I dug away and see him cleaning his face in the sink while I flip the pancake.

“I hate you,” he says and I chuckle.

“No, you love me” I reply and his green eyes shoot over to my face. “I- I mean- like a friend. Best friend” he nods very slowly and I am glad to hear someone coming down the stairs.

“Good morning early birds,” Anne says and smiles at us. She walks over to Harry, who is still looking at me with an expression, I can´t really read and hugs him.

“Morning, my favourite son” she smiles and kisses his cheek.

“Morning mum” he replies and turns his gaze to his mum.

“Morning Anne. I hope you like pancakes” she smiles and nods, while she makes herself some coffee.

We have a kind of quiet breakfast until the others wake up and join and I get a lot of compliments for my pancakes. Harry and I don´t really talk much but I hope everything´s fine between us. I mean, why shouldn’t it be?

Hello guys, here it is, a new chapter of my latest work. While I have to wait for my COVID-19 test results I have a lot of free time and being home again after 2 weeks of holidays is so boring. Hopefully I am back at work at monday.

Stay safe everybody.

Love, Julia xx

Taglist: @wotamelonsugar @lanallaa @highladyofelfhame-remastered @lucky-worm @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @nibabyy @magnificentbonkfarmlover

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles smut #Harry Styles Imagine #Harry Styles FF #Harry Styles blurb #Harry Styles Oneshot #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles fluff #1d #one direction #one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic #one direction imagine #one direction oneshot #1dff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you

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pffbts · 4 years ago

Note

hi, i love your writings! can i request something fluffy with soonyoung from seventeen? maybe a confession, first date or something like that? thanks already🌈

―GENRE: fluff; just hoshi being the cutest tiger cub.

―CHARACTERS: kwon soonyoung x neutral gender!reader | no supporting character.

―W.C: 1.9K

―AUTHOR`S NOTE: hi! hello! my first svt request on this blog :) thank you so much for requesting. this one sounds cute, i hope you enjoy reading, bub! love u <3 it`s 3 am right now so i guess i`ll go to sleep, for now, lol oh and congratulation to svt for their 2nd win for home:run!!

[05:11 PM] [the papers are flying away but there`s two hands always to hold]

―soonyoung had half of his head in the pattern of folds of the rose coloured craft paper and half of his head on how he must give you the paper rose he will make. will he just leave it on the desk before he leaves the club or give you in person?

oh no, soonyoung thought immediately, sitting straight up in his seat and looking straight ahead while his eyes went wide, he can never do that. that`s simply impossible. that would be too much. he continued to convince himself.

the middle school kid who was sitting two seats away from soonyoung looked at him like, what is this adult doing since the past two hours?

the place where soonyoung was at is none other a simple art club by the neighbourhood of his part-time workplace. it`s a cosy place, almost similar to a library it`s an art-related club―a place for escape from the reality of the harsh world where people who love painting, crafting, sculpting or as simple as drawing for a hobby comes here. you can bring your own materials in here or the manager will provide that for you if you forget some days. you can simply pay for the materials. the place does take a monthly rent but it`s not much.

but for soonyoung, he wasn`t one of those people who came here for an escape from reality. he was here for you and under the influence of the biggest smile you gave him when two months ago, you and he met for the first time at a mutual friend`s birthday get together at a ramen restaurant.

it was a very small get together. most of the participants were just graduates or drop-outs who worked part-times like soonyoung and you for some pocket money until you get a proper job.

when you saw him at the door of this art club two weeks later after that night, he was an awkward mess. he was confused and giving nervous laughter whenever you tried to make him comfortable. you were apparently working as a helper in this art club. most of the times, you help the people who came here by cleaning the brushes for them, cleaning after they leave away any paint splashes or cut out craft papers scattered on the floor or table. sometimes, you helped the people themselves who weren`t that expert in crafting, or drawing.

you liked crafting yourself so you always stuck to helping people who came to craft. painting and drawing isn`t something you were that talented so you avoided them most of the times.

it was quite evident why soonyoung stuck to crafting to himself. he wanted to get as much closure to you as he can. he was a nervous wreck already and it was quite hard for him to talk to you in the eye.

you were like the brightest thing in the room. when he would lift up his face to take a glimpse of you, everything faded in the background, everything becomes something of a blurred image except for you. soonyoung always looked forward to the free schedules on his calendar so that he can see you again. at first, he felt like he was back to school, having a crush on someone from the next class. it was thrilling yet a sad experience because he wasn`t quite sure how to approach you because he had never felt like this with anyone.

soonyoung was worried if his feelings will be able to reach you, will they get a chance to live inside you. he was worried if he`ll be able to grow out of this feeling he has built inside his heart. some days, it gets quite impossible to ignore them, some days it flows like a river. he has been to the clubs a few days and did absolutely nothing but stayed nibbling at various art papers and catch glimpses of you. you, on the other hand, never came to him because obviously, it was a rule that you can only go or approach the visitors only when they call for you and soonyoung, apparently didn`t have anything to ask related to craft so he could never call you. heck, he didn`t know the c in the craft forget doing things that creative. that`s why most of the times, he would waste away his time just catching glimpses of you from afar or when you talked to someone at the table, just give you the most dedicated undivided attention through his ears.

but today soonyoung was hesitating. he was witnessing a fight within himself. a part of him wanted to call you and ask how to make a rose and half of him is telling to stop embarrassing himself in front of you. that once it`s done, once he has said it all and you reject him by any chance, it would be completely over. he would suffer from his first unrequited love for his lifetime. he will never forget about you because you are his first love.

but the youtube tutorial wasn`t helping him at all. when you were doing a silent round around the table, you caught soonyoung kind of struggling. he was sighing listlessly, licking his already chapped lips (obviously from too much licking previously). he looked all over the place but he wasn`t calling for you which kind of frustrated you a bit.

soonyoung had always been the silent craft guy who would always sit at the end of the long table and was obviously bad at the craft itself. you thought maybe instead of meditating, this was the best he could do.

you decided this thing he was trying to make was going nowhere. so you came across his seat and instantly dropped down to act like you were picking up a pencil. you threw the pencil in your pocket a bit against his chair. soonyoung noticed instantly what was happening right beside him and he froze right there.

but as soon as you looked up from the place where the manager won`t be able to see you, you whispered to soonyoung for the first time today, “do you need help?” you moved your eyes towards the paper in his hand, pointing that you want to help him with that.

soonyoung, who was previously a little confused now said in a low voice, “i think i can do it.”

“it`s been two hours, the club will close in 20 minutes. let me help you so that we can accomplish what you`re trying to do.” you said back to him, pushing his buttons a bit.

soonyoung, when he heard what you said looked down at you with a face of realization. the way you said it made it seem like you were talking about how he can help you confess whatever he feels for you, that time is running out and things will flow like as usual and it might be too late for this feeling to grow in a pair and not one-sided.

he nodded at you.

“you`ve to call my name,” you whispered back to him.

soonyoung looked around the room a bit and called your name.

you sat beside him with a rose coloured craft paper showing him how to fold the corners to make it into a rose. soonyoung was for the first time giving every bit of his attention to the creation under construction with your hands.

he was following the instructions as you say to him and after almost ten minutes when the rose was a success, his face broke into a smile. you turned around and faced him in your seat. soonyoung held the rose with the toothpick acting as the stem in his hand. he was looking at the rose with heart eyes and he turned his body a bit towards you, but his mind was somewhere else. his head blanks out for a second and he had no idea what he was about to do.

his heart just decided to take a lead and he lifted his hand up to put the rose behind your ear. soonyoung looked at the rose, at how it looked more pretty now that it`s sitting on your earlobe. his smile never left his face, instead, it was more evident as his eyes became thin crescents on his face. as his hand started dropping from your ear, his fingertips brushed against your cheek which made you look him in the eye.

soonyoung, as he felt the skin under his fingertips, broke from his daze. he looked at you in dismay, he was absolutely scared at that moment of what he had done. his head moved fast and hung low. his palms rubbing on his thighs and his eyes moving from one side to another. he didn`t know a single thing to fixate his eyes on.

“thank you,” soonyoung heard a familiar voice, “thank you for gifting me your first rose.”

soonyoung snapped his head at your direction, “what? i mean, i`m sorry. i shouldn`t have done that―”

“am i getting more of this from next time?” you asked him, breaking his words in halves, “you`re going to make more of this for me, right?”

“huh?” soonyoung voice was lost, his head was somewhere else. suddenly he was void of any words, reactions. his mouth was half-open, his eyes were slightly wide.

“you`re making more of this for me, right?” you took the rose from above your ear and placed it right in the chest pocket of your t-shirt. the rose looked vibrant on your bland faded yellow t-shirt.

“if you want then…” soonyoung tried saying, still unsure how to process all this.

“i want all the roses you make, soonyoung,” you said his name making him know that you know him and what this rose meant for both of you, you wanted to make it loud and clear by saying his name, “it`s only because you gave me your first, i want to have it all.” you looked at him and smiled.

soonyoung could do absolutely nothing but smile back at you shyly and know that some firsts of his like this first love which resonated with this first rose will eventually be a first for you too. all he wished for at that moment is for his feelings to reach you and looking at how you kept the rose on top of your heart, soonyoung saw a bit of hope.

fin.

#seventeen imagines #hoshi imagines #seventeen scanarios #seventeen fanfics #seventeen reactions #seventeen text posts #hoshi fanfics #soonyoung fanfics #hoshi scenarios #hoshi reactions #hoshi fluff #soonyoung fluff #hoshi x reader #seventeen fluff #pffbts #anon requested!

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cinaja · 4 years ago

Text

Before the Wall part 31

Masterlist

----

It takes the Seraphim hours to bury the dead. There is not enough wood for a pyre, so Drakon decides to have the dead buried. A few of his soldiers look at him strangely, but to his knowledge, most humans don`t care about Fae religions or rituals. Hardly any of them believe in gods or an afterlife the way the Fae do, so it makes little difference to them if their bodies get burned or buried.

The hours blend together, as do the faces of the dead. Drakon does his best to memorize them, but it`s a futile task. But there are, of course, the soldiers he knows. Many of them, after spending years together in a camp. Body after body, each mutilated in a different way. Hundreds of corpses lying in a hole in the ground. Just this morning, they were still people – laughing, making plans for a future they would never have.

Drakon has to pause his work thrice to stumble behind a boulder and throw up. His hands are shaking, but he refuses to stop his work. He owes that much to the dead.

When the last body has been cleaned away, the last grave dug, Drakon surveys the burned remains of their camp and decides that, even though the sun has long since set, there is no way they can spent the night here. How could anyone sleep on this burned ground that is still stained with the blood of their dead friends?

So, in spite of the late hour, they pack their things and fly half an hour further west where they set up their camp by a river. Miryam, who looks dead on her feet, sets up a quick perimeter of wards then returns to Jurian, who hasn`t said or done anything since they found him kneeling between his dead soldiers. Drakon wishes he could do anything to help, but as it stands, all he can do is get his soldiers settled.

It is long past midnight when most of them have vanished into the makeshift tents they erected from whatever they could save from their ruined camp. Drakon doesn`t feel like sleeping, so he sits down in front of a lonely camp fire near the centre of the camp. The images of the dead humans keep drifting through his mind. He knows all too well what their last hours must have felt like.

Soft steps sound behind him and Miryam sits down on the ground next to him. Her dark hair is tangled and there`s ash smeared over the left side of her face. She looks completely drained.

“How is he?”, Drakon asks, putting up a sound shield around them.

Miryam shrugs. “I gave him something to help him sleep. He should be out until morning.”

Drakon nods. He knows that sedating Jurian will not stop the pain for him, just delay it. But at least he`ll get a small reprieve.

“And you?”, he asks.

“I can deal with it. It`s worse for Jurian, he knew them longer.”

Drakon has to supress a sigh. That reply is so utterly typical. “You`re allowed to be upset, you know. Just because someone else has is worse doesn`t mean you aren`t allowed to feel the way you do.”

“How do you feel, then?”, Miryam asks, “Since you also knew them.”

Could her diversion be any more obvious? “I can`t close my eyes without seeing their corpses. Whenever I`m not imagining what their last minutes must have felt like, I keep thinking that we might have been able to prevent this if we hadn`t been so stupid.“ He sighs. “I also threw up. Thrice. And I`m scared to go to bed because I know I`ll have nightmares.” He looks at Miryam. “Your turn.”

“I don`t want to talk about it.”

Drakon honestly has no idea how often he`s heard that of her. Usually, he lets her sort it out with Jurian, who is a bit better at getting her to talk. But this time, Jurian is busy and Drakon doesn`t think that letting Miryam stew over her feelings alone is a good idea.

“Talking is important”, he says and hopes that he doesn`t sound overly preachy. “If you always shove your feelings down, you`ll combust eventually.”

Miryam snorts softly. “Who cares?” She picks up a pebble and throws it into the dark. “There`s no way we`re getting out of this alive, anyways.”

Drakon blinks at her. That`s the most pessimistic he ever heard her. “That`s not true”, he says softly and reaches out and puts a hand on her arm.

“Yes, it is!” She jumps to her feet, brushing his hand away as she does. “We`re already dying – bit by bit, every day.” She makes a sound that is somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Even if we win, even if we don`t all get killed… Do you really think we`ll just ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after when this is over?” She shakes her head. “There`s no getting back from this. Not in a hundred years.”

She lost hope, Drakon realizes. Miryam may still believe in freedom for her people, and be ready to fight for it, but she lost hope for herself. He refuses to accept that.

“Come on”, he says and gets up. “I want to show you something.”

“No, I-“

“Trust me.”

Miryam doesn`t look convinced, but she follows him out of the camp. Unfortunately, his idea to get out of the camp alone runs into difficulties. Namely the three guards trailing them. Normally, their presence hardly bothers Drakon, but in the sleeping camp, their presence stands out and destroys any illusion of privacy.

Drakon stops walking and waves the guards over. All three of them bow, and the leader, a round-faced female named Yani, asks, “How can we help you, your Highness.”

“Lady Miryam and I would like some privacy”, Drakon says. He doesn`t add that he asked her to call him by his name more times than he can count already.

Yani exchanges a look with her colleagues. “Forgive me, your Highness”, she says, “But General Sinna gave us strict orders not to leave you alone.”

Drakon knows. When he first became Prince, it was easy to slip away from his guards – if there were any around – but since his time in the Black Land, Sinna drastically increased security.

“You work for me, though”, he says. “We`ll be back within two hours.”

Drakon pretends he doesn`t notice that his guards have to consider his orders first before they fall back. As soon as they are out of the wards` perimeter, Drakon holds out a hand to Miryam.

When she hesitates, he says, “You set up the wards. If anything happens, we`ll be back within seconds.”

Miryam sighs and takes the offered hand.

----

Drakon winnows them to a field just outside of a medium-sized human city. He tugs his wings tightly to his body and leads Miryam towards the gate. The guards squint suspiciously at Drakon, but relax when they see Miryam`s mostly human features.

“What are we doing here?”, Miryam asks softly when the guards have waved them through.

The village doesn`t seem like anything out of the ordinary. Miryam cannot imagine why Drakon would take her here. She`s too drained to care much, though. It`s like someone cut a tether connecting her to the world. She should be furious, or sad, or desperate, but she just feels empty. Except for the power that keeps thrumming through her, only barely controllable anymore.

“I want to show you something”, Drakon says.

Miryam lets him take her by the arm and lead her through the streets towards the town`s centre. She barely notices where they are going until the sound of music makes her perk up. They round a corner and basically stumble into a street festival. Music and laughter fill the air and in the centre of a square, people are dancing in pairs. Miryam stares at the scene, unable to quite process what she`s seeing.

“Look”, Drakon says and nudges Miryam closer. “There are still people who are alive out there. There are people who are dancing and laughing and living. This is what we`re fighting for and we haven`t lost yet.”

Miryam looks away. She can`t take this. There are cracks forming in her composure and she fears that if she loses control now, she won`t be able to regain control over her powers. Her hands open and close frantically at her side.

“And we are alive as well”, Drakon continues, “We are alive and I promise that when this is all over, you`ll also get to dance on the street, or do whatever else you want for your life.”

Miryam`s shoulders begin to shake and she quickly wipes the tears away. The music still sounds, people are still dancing. Humans living in freedom. Drakon pulls his arms around her and pulls her close to him. Miryam digs her fingers into his jacket. She is crying so hard her entire body shakes now, and she thinks if it wasn`t for Drakon holding her, she might just get swept away.

Eventually, the tears stop. Miryam carefully lets go of Drakon. She wipes her tears away and straightens. Her face feels puffed up and her throat is sore, but the pressure inside of her has become almost bearable.

“Thank you”, she whispers, “I think I needed that.”

“I think we can stay for a bit. If you want to.”

Of course she wants to. She never wants to go back. That is not possible, she knows, but at least they`ll get a small reprieve. Miryam nods and follows Drakon, who keeps his wings tucked in tightly to his body, towards the celebration. Her eyes flicker over the laughing, happy people. They seem surprisingly unbothered by the Fae in their midst.

“How did you know to come here?”, Miryam asks.

“My soldiers like to go here on their days off. They told me.”

Without needing to talk about it, they decide not to join the dancing, so they end up standing next to a small booth that sells drinks. A human man presses two cups into their hands

“Oh, thank you.” Drakon reaches for his pouch to pay for the drinks, but the man waves him off.

“First drink is free for Alliance soldiers”, he says, “Besides, you two look like you could use it.” He vanishes in the crowd, leaving Drakon looking unhappily at his still-full pouch.

Miryam, on the other hand, notices the ash staining their clothes. She sighs. They must look like they crawled straight out of a grave. She tries to brush the ash off her clothes, but only succeeds in smearing it further.

“Hopeless”, she mutters.

“At least that way, we don`t need to worry about being recognized”, Drakon says with eternal optimism.

They find a bench at the edge of the dancing floor and sit down on it. They aren`t part of the celebration, not really, just spectators. They might as well be in a different world as those people.

Drakon drains his cup quickly, then puts it on the ground next to him. Miryam only takes a sip from her cup, then winces. Horrible.

“I hate alcohol.” She takes another sip, winces again and hands the cup to Drakon. “It tastes terrible, and it makes you lose control over yourself.”

“I believe the latter is part of the charm for most people.” Drakon takes a sip from Miryam`s cup.

She snorts. “Like you need to worry about getting drunk from this.”

To be fair, Miryam as a half-Fae doesn`t get drunk very quickly either. But the mere possibility of getting drunk is enough to completely ruin alcohol for her. Losing control is horrifying, she doesn`t understand why anyone would risk it for fun.

“I still can`t believe it”, Drakon whispers.

Miryam nods without taking her eyes off the dancing people. Don`t think about it. Think about these people who never watched their friends get murdered. Next to her, Drakon starts drumming a quick rhythm on the edge of the bank. He looks upset.

“So”, Miryam says, voice shaking slightly. She desperately fumbles for a different subject. Only one thing comes to her mind. “You should probably talk to Sinna. Your soldiers can`t take her word over yours.”

Drakon makes a face at her, but at least his tapping slows. Politics may not be his favourite subject, but Miryam guesses it`s still better than the memories of their dead friends.

“Sinna is over three hundred years old and has been a soldier for most of that time. I`m not even thirty.” He shrugs. “I`d take her word over mine, too. Any smart person would.”

He generally has a point. But - “Not when they are your soldiers. And most certainly not this publicly.”

Drakon arches an eyebrow. “So, what is it they are saying about me on the Continent that has you so worried about my public appearance? That I`m incompetent?”

“No, not that.” Miryam bites her lip. Normally, she doesn`t tell Drakon about the rumours, but right now, there seems to be no way around it. “With your essays now public, people generally believe you know what you`re talking about. But that doesn`t necessarily mean they also believe that you`re the one making decisions in Erithia. There`s quite a debate to be had on whether it`s your council, your advisors or your military who make the decisions for you, and your aren`t exactly…” She hesitates. “I`m sorry, but things like your conversation with the guards earlier don`t exactly make it seem like they are wrong.”

Drakon changes the rhythm he was drumming. “I`m not making these changes because I`m being manipulated, though”, he says. “I`m not.”

“I know that”, Miryam replies without missing a beat. When Drakon gives her a sceptic look, she adds, “Truly. You may not be very suited to international politics, but you`re brilliant at running a country. You`d notice if anyone was manipulating you about any of that.” She gives him a slight smile. “I`m more worried about your appearance. If you let people say you are being manipulates, you allow them to invalidate all the work you are doing.”

Drakon looks rather relieved at that. “So what should I do?”

“You can still listen to your advisors and generals”, Miryam says, “Believe it or not, but most rulers do. The difference is that they ask for advice quietly and then present it as their decision, while you just let other people make the choices for you.” She frowns. “Although I suggest you talk about this to whoever you pay to advise you on foreign politics, and if the answers he gives don`t match mine, have him replaced – he`s either incompetent or purposefully trying to jeopardize you.”

She supposes he could also use a bit more wariness in general when it comes to the members of his council. But she doesn`t say that. Contrary to popular belief, Drakon isn`t naïve – he`s seen far too much evil for that. He chooses to still see only the best in people, and Miryam personally sees that as a strength. She wouldn`t want him to change that.

“Seems doable”, Drakon says, then gives her a smile that only seems a little bit strained. “You certainly are good at changing the subject.” Which, of course, isn`t an attempt on his part to change the subject at all.

“I`ve got lots of practice”, she mutters, which makes Drakon huff a laugh.

They return their attention to the street festival. Now, most of the participants have taken each other by the hands and are dancing around in a huge circle.

“You ever wish we could trade places with them?”, Miryam asks softly. “Live a normal life.”

“Of course”, Drakon says. “What would you do? If it wasn`t for the war and… everything.”

“I think I`d still like to be a healer. Live in a small village. An ordinary life.” Maybe that`s what she`ll do when the war is over. If she survives. “And you?”

“I`d go back to university”, Drakon says without hesitation, “It`s wonderful there. You would like it.”

Miryam nods quietly. She allows herself to dream of the life she might have had a moment longer. But then, she thinks back to her people and straightens. “We should probably go back.”

Drakon nods and gets up. Miryam looks over her shoulder at the dancing people one last time before turning around to leave.

“I suppose you can`t have it both ways”, Drakon says softly as they walk back towards the gate. “You`re either the person dancing through the night – or you`re the one who fights so that dancing will still be possible tomorrow.”

----

When Jurian wakes up, it takes him a few blissful seconds to remember what happened. But the memories return soon enough, and when they do, he almost wishes he could take more of that sleeping tunic and fall back into oblivion. He nearly asks Miryam, who is sitting cross-legged on the ground next to him, for one – after all, what does he need to be awake for now, anyways? – but then, he remembers Amarantha and Clythia. The vow he made.

He sits up too quickly and his head starts to spin. Miryam reaches out to steady him.

“Easy”, she says, “You`re safe.”

“You think I give a shit?”, Jurian snaps. His voice is hoarse and sounds off in his own ears. He pushes her arm away and stands up – with the success that he immediately falls back over.

“Give yourself a moment”, Miryam says. Her tone is still gentle.

Jurian lets himself fall back onto the blanket he was lying on. “Sorry”, he mutters.

Miryam shrugs. “I understand.”

Jurian carefully pulls himself up into a sitting position and Miryam moves closer until they are almost touching. For a while, they sit together in silence.

“When we arrived in the camp”, Miryam finally says, breaking the silence, “when we saw it destroyed, I thought…” She rubs her hands over her face. “Maybe it is selfish to say, since so many died, but I`m still happy you`re alive.”

Jurian can almost hear the questions behind her words. But how? How come you survived while everyone else died. Where were you while your soldiers got murdered?

“I wasn`t in the camp when… it happened”, Jurian says. I was meeting with Clythia behind your back. While our friends were slaughtered, I sat and ate cake with a Hybern commander.

But his tongue won`t form the words. He closes his eyes. Tell her! He needs to tell her the truth now, he owes her that much. As of yet, he hasn`t really done anything wrong in that regard – he always meant to tell her once his meeting with Clythia was over. He needs to tell her now, and everything will be fine. But he keeps imaging the look in her eyes when she hears what he was doing.

“I…”, he begins. How can things between them ever be the same again if he tells her the truth now? “I went one a ride.” The words slip out involuntarily, without his permission. “I needed a moment alone.”

His heart races. There`s no way Miryam will believe him, she is almost impossible to lie to. Why didn`t he tell the truth? She`ll find out anyways, and him trying to lie will just make it worse. He lowers his head.

Miryam gently puts her hand on his. “It wasn`t your fault”, she says, “Even if you had been there, you couldn`t have saved them. You would have just died alongside them.”

Jurian blinks, too stunned to speak. It wasn`t even that good a lie, there`s no way she fell for that. And yet… The realization hits like a knife to the gut. Miryam doesn`t catch his lie because she doesn`t even consider the possibility that he might be telling anything but the truth. After all, he never lied to her before.

He wishes she had doubted his words. That would have made it more bearable.

“I should have been there”, he whispers, voice breaking. That, at least, is true no matter what.

Miryam just wraps her arms around him and pulls him close. Jurian lets her.

He doesn`t know how long they`ve been sitting like this when the door bursts open. “Oh.” Drakon stops in the entrance.

“What do you want?”, Jurian snaps. He doesn`t know why he`s suddenly angry.

“Sorry.” Drakon lifts his hands, like in surrender. “I should have knocked.” He throws Miryam a letter. “The council wants to see you. I`d say they are asking, but it`s more of a summon.” He turns to Jurian and adds more softly, “I`m glad you`re awake. And, well, alive.”

“Because that`s the most important thing, right?” Jurian scoffs.

“I`m sorry”, Drakon repeats. “I can imagine how you must feel.”

“Oh, can you?” Jurian pushes Miryam`s arm off and climbs to his feet. “Because your soldiers didn`t get slaughtered. They weren`t even in the camp, were they?”

“Are you blaming me for what happened?”, Drakon asks softly. He still doesn`t sound angry, which just pisses Jurian off more. Drakon and his eternal kindness – doesn`t he realize that they`re at war?

“Just stating facts. Because somehow, it`s never your people who have to pay the price, is it. And if we lose this war, it won`t be your people who end up enslaved, either. You`ll get out of this perfectly fine, right? They`ll probably even let you keep your title.”

“Jur…”, Miryam whispers.

Drakon just stares at him, lips pressed into a tight line.

Jurian laughs. “Must be fun, to fight a war knowing that the results will never really affect you. One of the advantages of being Fae, I suppose.”

“Stop it!”, Miryam all but shouts and jumps to her feet. “What are you doing?” Shaking her head, she looks between Jurian and Drakon. “Isn`t it bad enough already?” Her voice shakes like she`s about to cry. “Thousands of people are dead. We`re all that`s left, and if we start to argue amongst ourselves…”

Jurian stares down at his feet. His anger evaporates, leaving him feeling drained and terrible. Not only did he lose his soldiers, now he also picked a fight with Drakon and made Miryam upset.

“Sorry”, he mutters.

“I`m sorry, too”, Drakon says, “About what happened to your soldiers – and that we weren`t there to prevent it.”

Jurian nods, and that is that. Argument settled, but not really. Miryam looks between them, frowning.

“You need to go to your meeting”, Jurian reminds her.

“Do you want me to come?”, Drakon offers.

Jurian has to bite his tongue to keep from saying something about how he doubts that would be very helpful. Damnit, what is wrong with him? It`s like all that`s left is anger, and without anywhere for it to go, he lashes out at anyone who happens to be close. He needs something to direct his anger at, or he fears he might combust and take everyone close to him down with him.

“I received intelligence about the possible location of one of Hybern`s training camps”, he says to Drakon, without really looking at him. “If we manage to find the exact location, we might be able to pay those bastards back in kind.”

----

Miryam`s formal dresses burned together with the camp, so she still wears her ash-stained tunic and pants when she goes to meet the council. She is early for the meeting and only a few of the other councilmembers are there, but they all stare at Miryam`s appearance. She ignores the looks.

Not finding a set of change clothes was a somewhat risky choice, but Miryam decides it`s fitting. Appearing in immaculate clothes after what happened in the last hours would have seemed tasteless. Miryam is just about to take her seat when a hand closes around her arm. She stiffens – she hates being touched without permission – but makes herself turn around slowly. He magic stirs, but she shoves it back down.

“My Lord”, she greets the High Lord of the Night Court.

“May I have a word, Lady Miryam?” His voice is tense and he all but drags her out of the room without waiting for a reply.

“I would appreciate”, she hisses and rips her arm out of his grip, “a little more common courtesy.”

He holds open the door to one of the smaller meeting rooms for her and lets her in with a mock bow. Miryam glares and demonstratively rubs her wrist, where his fingers are sure to leave bruises. Still, the High Lord doesn`t apologize as he closes the door behind them and sets up wards with the wave of a hand. Miryam tries very hard not to be nervous.

“We need to talk”, the High Lord says.

“If this is about Keir –“

“I know you`re planning to shift the blame for your failure on him. I would do the same, in your position. Still, I`d suggest you take a different route.”

“No.” Miryam takes back a step so that she no longer has to look up at him quite so obviously. “Over three thousand soldiers got killed in a single night, all because your commander went against Alliance directives to torture a group of enemy soldiers and then presented the information he got as sound intelligence. The blame for this lies with him, and I`ll make sure he gets what he deserves.”

“How righteous of you. And how practical that this way, you shift the blame well away from yourself and your friends. Even though it was your fault as well, wasn`t it?”

Yes, it was. But that won`t be the public version. “If Keir hadn`t supplied incorrect information”, she says flatly, “none of this would have happened.”

“And if you make it public, his behaviour will fall back on me.” When Miryam only arches an eyebrow at him, he steps closer. “So don`t make it public.”

Miryam makes herself laugh. “Just like that? You argue against me in almost every meeting, and now, you expect me to do you a huge favour?”

“You don`t want me as your enemy”, he warns.

He`s standing so close now that her every instinct screams at her to run. Instead, she slowly steps back and reaches for the handle of the door. The High Lord`s wards crack under her touch and she pulls the door open.

“So you keep saying”, she says, “but the more I think about it, the more I feel like you are the one who doesn`t want me as your enemy.”

With that, she walks out of the room and towards the council chamber. There, Andromache has arrived by now. She drops all pretence when she sees Miryam and hugs her in front of the entire council.

“Are you okay?”, she asks, “Jurian? Drakon?”

“Yes.” None of them are anywhere near okay, but at least they are alive. “None of us were in the camp when it happened.”

“And I think we`d all like to know the reason for that”, Nakia says from her seat at the table.

“We received faulty information”, Miryam says, taking her seat. Then, she briefly outlines what happened yesterday, making sure to place as much blame of possible on Keir.

By the time she is finished, most of the councilmembers are frowning. Unfortunately, more than one of them seem to direct their ire at Miryam. Zeku softly shakes his head at her.

“Yet I have to wonder”, one of the Fae says, “how none of you noticed the trap.”

“We received the intelligence from the council”, Miryam replies, “We believed it had been verified and followed the orders we`d been given.”

Nakia surprises her by nodding. “No point arguing about it now”, she says gruffly. “The damage is done. I suggest we start dealing with the aftermath.”

In the end, of course, someone still has to get punished – but that someone ends up being Keir, who gets stripped of his army command. His High Lord glares at Miryam. Otherwise, it is decided that Jurian will be put in charge of training new recruits and making them into a new army. After that is settled, they mercifully decide to end the meeting.

Most of the other councilmembers don`t leave immediately, so Miryam also remains sitting for a while. She can`t vanish immediately after each meeting.

Zeku leans against the table next to her. “My condolences”, he says.

“Thank you.”

Zeku remains sitting on the table and watches her. Silently.

“Was there something else?”, Miryam asks when she has enough from his staring.

Zeku seems to consider, then shakes his head. “Nothing. Just… are you sure you know what you`re doing here, Miryam?”

She tenses. She thinks back to the warning he gave her months ago and tries not to make her worry too obvious. She must have made some kind of mistake – maybe she didn`t shift the blame for their away successfully enough. This is bad. Her standing with the council is all that gives her the power to influence where this war is going. She needs to find a way to fix this, and quickly. If she can manage, with her losing control over her magic more and more each day.

“I`m just trying to free my people”, she says softly. “That`s all I want. All I`m fighting for.”

Zeku watches her for a moment longer, then he nods and jumps off the table. “Be careful”, he tells her and walks off to join one of his Fae allies.

Miryam looks after him and tries to ignore the sinking feeling that she completely missed what he was trying to warn her about.

----

A/N: You probably already guessed it, but things are going downhill from here. There will also be another time jump between this chapter and the next. Oh, and Mor will play a larger role again in the next arc. I haven't forgotten about her, her pov just didn't fit into this arc.

Tags: @croissantcitysucks @sjm-things @clolikescloquetas

#I`ll try to include some more... lighthearted scenes in the next chapters #but the problem is #that this just isn`t a very lighthearted story #which I should probably have realized in advance #before the wall #miryam #jurian #drakon

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vanchlo · 4 years ago

Text

The Assistant / Chapter Forty-Five, “Evermore”

*Gif’s not mine*

Clickable Links:

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

- Warnings: Mentions of hospital care

- Word Count: 7k words

“Her face is stuck in every place.

The front door, the ghost of her winter boots on the door mat, the barstools at the kitchen island where we laughed over glasses of her Rebecca wine, the crusty banana bread forgotten on the counter, the head of the kitchen table where we burned our mouths on pot pie, and that’s not even the worst of it. The blanket from Sunday night remains in a messy pile on the sofa, just how we had left it. My chest shakes harder with another sob at the sight of it, and the wine glasses I had forgotten on the coffee table beside the bottles of nail polish.

Memories flood my insides when I sink onto the cushions, my head in my hands as her laugh from only three days ago fills my ears.”

Music Inspo: Hold My Girl by George Ezra (click to listen)

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

― Henry Miller

I’m woken from my dreams due to movements within my arms. Knuckling at my eyes with a groan, I look around, feeling regrettable about the reality that I had come back to. The one that I was previously immersed in was far better, and brings a reminiscent smile to my lips at the remembrance of. Settling my eyes on her, wrapped up safely inside of my arms, my lazy lips curl into a larger smile at the thought.

Her with her own arms holding a blue-eyed, dark-haired little baby with me at her side. Talk about dreamy.

Her forehead is warm underneath my lips, and soft as ever. The creamy vanilla lotion she uses leaves hints of the fragrance across her face, one of the few necessities Skye grabbed from home today. I brush away the loose waves that drape over her skin, but within seconds, I wish that I hadn’t when I find the stitches and colors claiming her.

A noise interrupts my thoughts and when I look up, the nurse is standing at my side clearing her throat. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she’s shaking her head at me.

“Harry,” she sighs, wagging a finger at me dramatically.

“Kristi, I know, ‘m not s’posed t’ be up here. ‘m sorry, but she was hysterical from a nightmare, and I couldn’t get her t’ calm down,” I confess in a dry voice.

Relenting with a sigh, she whispers her reply, “Alright, but you need to be careful of her IV tubing, as well as her injuries. I don’t want anybody else in her family thinking that we allow this kind of thing,” she pauses to wink, and I nod with understanding. “I’m glad you mentioned the nightmare, though, that’s something that I need to record.”

She follows up her lecture with a few quiet questions about the nightmare Becks had, and she types them in the laptop she brought in with her. Her eyebrows greeted her hairline when I mentioned Becks saying that she’s starting to remember, and that being the sole reason for the nightmare.

It could never feel sufficient, the number of whispery kisses I press to her battered skin, asleep or not. Bloody hell, is she so beautiful, I muse while admiring Becks below me, sleeping peacefully. Finally. I never want to stop kissing her, but soon after those thoughts sound in my skull, my heavy eyelids yell for me to close them. Giving in, they win and I fall into the soundest sleep I’ve had in days.

My own name rouses me from my sleep, and it takes a few moments of adjusting to remember where I am. It’s quicker than yesterday, making me realize how used to all of this I’m getting. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that, but it’s all washed away when I find the baby blue pair of eyes waiting for me.

“Morning,” she rasps, her voice sounding almost entirely hers now. I couldn’t be happier about it as her head remains on my shoulder, eyes poised towards me.

“G’mornin’, my sweet. How’d ya sleep fer tha rest o’ tha night?” I yawn, tapping her nose with my finger.

“Great,” she smiles and I nod happily, soon echoing her words. “Best I’ve slept here so far.”

“‘m so happy t’ hear that, bug,” I grin and she just stares back at me, something ethereal covering her body in front of me. My, is she something else entirely, I wonder silently. Glancing to my watch, my eyebrows shoot towards the ceiling. “Reckon we both needed it, ‘s bloody ten in tha mornin’, love.”

The softest of laughs tickles my ears, yanking my lips towards the sky effortlessly. There it is, at last, my favorite sound in the entire world. Well, next to her sing-song voice, that’s my favorite song of all.

“I missed hearin’ that,” I whisper, brushing the back of my finger against her satiny cheek. She just continues to smile, and my heart couldn’t feel fuller in this moment.

She’s okay, she’s smiling, she’s laughing, she’s so goddamn beautiful even with bruises and stitches, she’s mine, and she’s okay.

“How’re ya feelin’, bug? I hope I didn’t knock into ya in tha middle o’ tha night, or hurt ya or anythin’.”

“I’m okay, kinda hungry,” she answers, combing a hand through her hair and pausing to scratch an itch. “Head feels heavy and hurts though, and my tummy a little too.”

“That’s good yer hungry, yer appetite ‘s comin’ back. Here, lemme slide out and ‘ll press on yer pain pump.”

“No, Harry,” she objects, grabbing hold of my arm the second I make a movement. “Don’t leave, you’re all warm,” she whines, moving closer to me and grabbing a fistful of my button up in her hand.

Now, it’s my turn to giggle, “‘Kay, but only a few mo’ minutes, I don’t wantcha t’ be in pain, babe,” I coo, beginning to drag my fingers through her hair, but when I watch her eyes close, I stop. I know that she’ll fall back asleep if I do and she needs it, but I’m reminded of the day nurse emphasizing yesterday the importance of her needing to eat. “Don’t fall asleep again yet, bug, ya need yer breakfast. Ya gotta eat t’ heal and get betta.”

“Okay,” she sighs sadly, slowly opening her eyes and looking back up at me.

“Yer eye ‘s lookin’ betta. Reckon it doesn’t help much without yer glasses tho’,” I snicker and her smile grows an inch. “Skye was gonna bring some contacts o’ yers from home t’day, and see if you could wear them. I bet that’d help loads.”

“Yeah,” she hums in reply. “Are you gonna go home too?” Becks asks gently, a curious sadness hidden behind her words. She’s never been very good at hiding her feelings, let alone lying, and I’ve come to be rather good at reading her.

“For a li’l bit, if that’s okay with you.”

“But I’ll miss you,” she answers, looking away to hide the wetness growing in her eyes, but I catch it at the last second. My thumb finds a holding on her chin, and I turn her head to look back at me.

“I won’t be gone long, bug, and it’ll prolly be later when sumbody else can be here with you. Jus’ wanna go home and grab a few things, and shower so I don’t stink anymo’,” I tell her, willing her to look me in the eyes. To my surprise, she does almost the second the thought trickles into my mind. The sight of her glassy eyes wrenches at my heart, and brushing them away with my finger hardly helps. “And t’ pack a bag so I have clothes and me things t’ keep me set here fer awhile so I don’t hafta leave again fer a while, besides showers. ‘ll hafta see if they have a family room o’ sorts t’ take showers here or sumthin’.”

“Okay,” she says, closing her eyes once again. Another tear leaks from her eye and I catch it as soon as it escapes. “Come back.”

“Always, Becks, y’know that,” I tell her, eliciting a nod into my chest.

“I felt so much better sleeping next to you. Safer.”

“Me too, baby. I wish we could do it ev’ry night, I like havin’ ya tucked away in me arms all safe and sound,” I echo, smoothing back her hair before I plant a kiss to the crown of her head. My special spot. “I love you,” I mouth against her hair, much too afraid to let the sounds free from my lips with all that’s going on and the perhaps fluke from the other night. “So much.”

“Stop,” she giggles against my cheek, and I swear, there’s never been a better song written in the whole universe. I continue to scatter kisses across her face, until my last one finds her nose. “Go home, you smell.”

“Hey!” I protest, finding her happy smile with my own two eyes. A sight in and of itself. “I don’t smell.”

“Yes, you do,” Becks giggles, the sound slowly falling away as my eyes find hers. Within a blink, her lips find mine and press a deep kiss to my own. It couldn’t last long enough and then I’m looking into those eyes that I hope and dream my children get to have, but it’s forgotten when hers flood with tears. “I’ll miss you.”

“‘ll be back inn’a hour, love, no longa than that. I promise,” I insist, holding her cheek in my hand, and saddening at her question of what I’m doing again. “‘m goin’ home t’ take a shower, pack a bag, and grab me car. I won’t be long.”

“Oh yeah, I remember you saying that now. I’m sorry, I can’t remember for shit,” she frowns, eyes growing wetter by the second.

“‘s okay, ‘m here t’ help ya rememba. Are ya sure you’ll be okay with me gone for a li’l bit? Skye, yer dad, and Robbie are here. Try t’ get some rest while ‘m gone, ya need it,” I say, drawing waves back and forth on her cheek and pressing a quick kiss to her lips that I can’t resist.

“I’m fine, Harry. I wanna watch Harry Potter.”

“No, ya need t’ sleep, honeybug. Ya watched tha whole second one with me, that’s two and a half hours, Becks. Ya haven’t slept since ya woke up, and that was five hours ago,” I argue, widening my eyes at her and wishing she’d surrender her stubbornness already. “Stop bein’ stubborn,” I giggle, and it only comes harder when her features fall into her famous pout, one that’s harder to resist given the circumstances. She’s just too bloody cute.

“Fine,” she sighs, blinking hard and soon yawning.

“Told ya yer tired, ya gotta listen t’ me sumtimes, cuz ‘m right.”

“No, you’re not,” she smirks, and I roll my eyes with a snicker.

“See ya soon, brat,” I chuckle as her eyes fall closed, pulling the blankets up past her shoulders and tucking them underneath her. The sight of her white arm cast will never get easier, I suspect, but who said that any part of this has gotten easier on Day Two? “‘ll be back inna hour, my sweet. Get some rest, and ‘ll see if tha nurse will let us have a cuddle when I get back. Sweet dreams, Becks.”

“Bye, Harry. Drive safe,” she drawls, words floating away from her as sleep nears her. “Come back.”

“I will, baby. Always,” I hum against her forehead, leaving one last kiss there. Straightening my back, my thumb remains glued to her cheek, only leaving to wipe away the tear that escapes from my eye. “I love you,” I whisper under my breath, taking the first step away from her.

I’ve always found it hard to walk away from her, but I couldn’t hate it more than I do in this very moment. It’s never frightened me so much to leave her, as it does now, seeing as I know how quickly things can change when one leaves.

“She’ll be okay, I’ll sit with her.”

Turning my head, I lose sight of Becks and find Skye waiting a few steps away with a book tucked into her hands.

“Thanks, keep me updated if erm, anythin’ happens.”

“It won’t, but I will, Harry. It’s okay,” she agrees aloud, but my eyes have already ran away from her and back to Becky. Over my shoulder, I can just make out the sounds of her soft snores outside the door of her room. I already miss her, and I haven’t even left her yet, I think as another tear races down my cheek. This keeps happening, I’ve found, but it doesn’t become any easier to leave. “The first time you’ve left her for more than ten minutes, huh?”

“Ya,” I croak, meeting her eyes through my blurry ones. Nodding at her, I lift my leaden feet to take another step. “Take care o’ her fo’ me.”

Her face is stuck in every place.

Memories flood my insides when I sink onto the cushions, my head in my hands as her laugh from only three days ago fills my ears. I can still feel the touch of her knitted jumper between my fingers from that night, the delicacy of her fingers swiping nailpolish over mine, and the sensation of her hands in my hair and her socked foot trailing up my leg underneath the kitchen table. These thoughts fill my head as I drag myself up the stairs, and although she didn’t venture up here that night, I can’t leave her down there. I remember the night she hauled my drunk ass home, even if it was years ago, and helped me into bed. That’s not even touching all of the nights I stared up at the ceiling, longing to hear her voice, and then the nights where I smiled up at it, knowing I’d hear it tomorrow and every day after that.

They threaten to never leave as my wrinkled suit falls to the floor of my bathroom, the sight feeling peculiar and welcomed all in one. Staring at it with a hazy sight, I toss it into the hamper, thinking of possibly burning it until I remember the first day we had at work together in it. Swallowing, the knot within my throat joins the pity party as the hot stream of water cascades down my body. I remain there under the scalding water, observing it disappear down the drain as it washes away the sadness pouring onto my cheeks.

The tears don’t disappear when wrapped in a towel, I sadly smile at the picture Skye sent of Becky smiling lying in bed.

Here’s a smile for you from Ree! She already misses you …. had a little nightmare again but she was okay and I was there. She’s asleep again now, and time for dinner soon. Take your time Harry, she’s ok xx

An onslaught of them now coat my cheeks - regret, anger, and sadness all balled into one being born inside of me at the thought of her waking up scared without me there. Sniffles and whimpers are all that leave me and fill my surroundings as I lay folded clothes inside of the biggest duffel bag I could find, as many joggers, jumpers, t-shirts, and beanies that I can fit before the zipper won’t zip. Only then, do I remember I need to pack other things. Unpacking a few pairs of socks and shirts, I stuff my bag of shower things into the side, chargers, my laptop Myles dropped off from work, deodorant, cologne, a random book I’d always meant to read, vitamins, random snacks, a favorite blanket from the linen closet, and my steel water bottle. I thread a pillow through its handles, glancing over to my unmade bed, missing the person who woke up in it on Monday morning, unbeknownst to the despair and misery that would soon kidnap his happiness.

Exhaling loudly, I drape the strap over my shoulder and begin my steps back to her. I’m coming back, Becks, like I always said I would.

Her soft sounds bounce around the room while the third Harry Potter hums in the background. Finding the remote on her bedside table, I click it off and drown the room in silence. With full hands, I take quiet steps over to her, a smile having already claimed my lips the moment I parked my car. Peace paints her face and I couldn’t be happier being back with my Becks, not wanting to leave her again, and hopefully not again until all of this shit is over.

Her slow breaths tickle my skin when I bend down to press a kiss to her forehead, welcomed by her vanilla scent. Her snoring continues to paint the air as I walk away briefly.

A soft tap! interrupts the absence when I set down the clear vase, swiftly rearranging the stems below me. I leave the small black box beside it and cross the room, leaving my heavy duffel bag on the floor beside the sofa and out of the way.

“Harry?” a voice rasps from behind me. Turning around, I find her little head of dark hair stirring.

“Shh, go back t’ sleep, bug,” I coo, sliding off my coat that I drape over the sofa.

“Are you back or am I dreaming?”

“‘m back, Becks, jus’ got here,” I answer her gently, making quick work of walking over to arrive at her side. “Hi,” I hum happily, feeling a warm jolt to my heart when a smile curls into her cheeks.

“Hi, Harry,” she giggles, a pink at last finding her cheeks.

“Hi, my love,” I smile, dipping down to carefully surround her with my arms and in the process, covering her with kisses. “I told ya I wouldn’t be gone mo’ than an hour. ‘m sorry ya hadda nightmare without me, I hope yer okay . . Hope ya still got some rest.”

“I’m okay, and I did. I’m glad you’re back, I missed you,” she whispers against my neck, pressing a lazy kiss there.

“I missed ya mo’.”

“No, I missed you more,” she argues, a giggle finishing her words. “Most . . I missed you most.”

“Fine, ‘ll give it t’ ya.”

“Good,” she smiles, resigned with success that I find when I pull away to look at her. Shock finds its way back to me at the once again sight of her bruises and stitches after an hour of forgetting them. “You smell good.”

“Why thank you, I took a shower.”

“You look comfy,” she adds on, taking hold of a string from my maroon Rolling Stones hoodie, toying with it between her fingers. The IV tubing dangling from it still sends jolts across my heart.

“I feel betta now, I can tell ya that.”

“Good,” she coos, playing with the second string now too. I can’t resist any longer and steal a random kiss from her lips, finding her blushing smile afterwards. “Aw, did you get me flowers? They’re purple!”

“‘Course they are, I had t’ get yer favourite color, babe,” I answer proudly, stepping away to grab the tall vase from her bedside table. “Looks like ya got a few mo’ since ‘ve been gone too. Ya sure are loved by many, Becks.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“Jus’ like sumbody I know, I wonder who that could be,” I comment teasingly, returning to her bedside to show her the vase of violet roses. “Honey, don’t cry, ‘s okay.”

“You’re so sweet, thank you,” she blubbers, tears flying from her eyes that she can’t wipe away fast enough. A long ‘aw’ jumps from my lips as I set the vase back down and return her to my arms.

“Yer welcome, anythin’ fo’ me girl. I saw all tha flowers you were gettin’ and figured it took me long enough t’ get ya some.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t have to,” she hiccups into my neck, finding holdings on the back of my jumper where she clings to me.

“Yes, I did, and I wanted t’ . . Reckon I should wait on yer present so ya don’t cry anymo’.”

“A present?!” she whispers excitedly, and my giggle soon finds a friend in hers.

Moving away, I leave her with yet another forehead kiss, wiping surprise tears from my own eyes. I catch the budding ones that fall from her waterline before grabbing the little box beside her flowers. ‘Ooo’s and ‘awww’s fill my ears when I open the box and slide the simple gemstone bracelet onto her wrist.

“I saw it and thought o’ you right away, jus’ like with tha flowers. I hope ya like it, seein’ how ‘s purple and all,” I say, pulling on the two ends of the string to tighten it.

“I love it, Harry,” she croaks, tears catching on her words as she stares down at the shades of lavender, cream, and violet claiming her skin.

“Perfect.” With a chuckle, I find my way into her arms after she tugged on my hoodie strings.

“I betta tie those things up, seein’ you already know how t’ use ‘em. ‘s a bit scary really,” I titter against the top of her head, smoothing back her hair. Profuse ‘thank you’s scatter the air, and I feel a stitch begin to heal my heart, ever so slowly. Her tears aren’t alone as I sniffle above her, my arms wound around her shoulders ever so gently.

“Alright?” she mumbles, and a bittersweet smile joins the party.

“Ya, ‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . Are you?”

“Yes, I always am if you’re there.”

“Me too, babe, me too,” I hiccup, the tears coming hot and fast now, falling into her hair. Always.

Yawning, voices trickle over as the door to the bathroom shuts behind me. Carding a hand through my hair, I follow the familiar sounds until I’m back by the family room scattered with chairs. Now, blankets, bags, and fast food wrappers claim the tables next to Skye, Robbie, Chuck, Asher, and a tall, blonde woman I don’t recognize.

I’m spotted and soon waved over by Asher, “Hey, how’s she doing? Did she eat all of her dinner?”

“She’s good, restin’ now, and almost all o’ it. Didn’t care fer tha green peas tho’, but I dunno how she can’t like ‘em,” I grin jokingly, but it doesn’t remain as my eyes follow the unfamiliar woman standing beside Robbie. “D’ya know who that ‘s?” I ask him, turning to meet his eyes, but they fall away, only hinting at the danger that’s brewing.

“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met. You are . . ?” the strange lady says, stepping forward with her arm stretched out. A long brown sweater covers her body clad in black jeans and a frilly blouse. The slope of her button nose and slightly oval face quickly piece together the puzzle pieces for me, and I know. “I’m Becky’s mum, Kate. Are you her boyfriend, or something?” she laughs jokingly.

“Ya, I am actually,” I answer coolly, hesitantly shaking her hand while struggling to make eye contact with the very person I’ve heard so many awful things about. Yet, I can see Becks in her, perhaps only hints of her, but I see them. “‘Scuse me,” I mumble, stepping away and with pounding steps, I find Skye perusing the magazines on the shelf against the wall.

“I need t’ talk t’ you,” I tell her flatly, stopping at her side.

“What do you want, Cosmo, Bon Appetit, GQ, Rolling Sto-,” she jokes, flipping her faded blue hair over her shoulder, brunette roots bleeding into the off white.

“No, I don’t want a bloody magazine. What tha fook were you thinkin’ tellin’ Becky’s mum t’ come here?” the question explodes off my lips, and I find it a feat to keep the words between the two of us. Her eyebrows near her hairline and she forgets the magazines, turning to face me.

Arms crossed over her chest clad in a 90’s Rugrats jumper, her features fall into a crouch as I wait for words to leave her, “Ree said that she could come, we asked her.”

“What tha fook ‘s wrong with you lot, askin’ her ‘bout that while I was gone?!” I retort, a hand escaping my pocket to help me do the talking.

“She’s not just yours, Harry, you know that?” she spits back, shaking her head in disbelief, it seems.

“No shit, Sherlock, but how in tha hell did ya think that was a good idea? Huh, where were you when her mum exploded on her all o’ those times at work, callin’ me bloody office t’ speak with her ‘cuz she was ignorin’ her phone, or jus’ a few weeks ago, huh?” I ask adamantly, searching for the answer in her cold blue eyes.

“No, I wasn’t there, but I was there for almost every other time, Harry. I was there comforting her after every row all throughout primary, secondary, and then on. She’s my best friend too, Harry, so don’t you even talk to me about being there for her, because you can’t fucking talk,” Skye retaliates, the words hitting me in the gut, but my mission propels me forward.

“That’s not tha fookin’ point, you should bloody know afta bein’ here tha last two days that she’s nowhere near ready t’ see her mum, Skye. She was inna bloody car wreck - she has a concussion, had emergency surgery, and ‘s on a handful o’ drugs that keep her from thinkin’ straight. Befo’ I left, I told her where I was goin’ and not even two minutes later, she couldn’t rememba what ‘d said. She’s not in her right mind, Skye, so how d’ya think it was okay t’ bloody ask her if her abusive mother could come t’ visit? Yer s’posed t’ be on her side, Skye, on Becks’ side,” I snap, and the fire still resides in my chest when I turn away to stomp down the hall.

I wish I knew how to fix this, because I know that I’ll have to be the one who has to. I wish so fucking badly that I knew how to fix Becks, and I don’t, and I’m all the further away now.

Crack.

I feel it inside of my ribs when I stop in her doorway, finding her eyes pointed towards the small flatscreen mounted to the wall. My throat becomes a sister to the Sahara rather quickly, and I can’t blink away the tears fast enough, because she notices me within moments. Under the spell of prescription drugs and painkillers, and she still has that feeling of hers down pat.

“Hi, honeybug,” I rasp, failing to swallow my pain and all of the words that I’m hurting to say.

“Where’d that nickname come from?” she grins, forgetting the Marvel movie on the television.

“I dunno, ‘cuz yer my bug and yer so goddamn sweet,” I explain to her, sitting down on the patch of unclaimed bed beside her.

“Alright?” she questions, dark eyebrows falling into a line. I can’t find the words and my name falls from her mouth next. I’m sure that if I looked at her heart rate monitor, it would have picked up by now due to concern.

“No,” I finally mutter, freeing my bottom lip that had become trapped between my teeth. Kneading my prickly chin with my thumb and forefinger, I have to look away from the worry harming her face. A warm tear begins a waterfall on mine, and to my surprise, she wicks it away with her thumb.

“Tell me,” she says coolly, cradling my cheek in her hands. Yet, it doesn’t make it any easier to say the next few words I know that I need to speak. Bittersweetness coats my tongue as she holds me in her hands and roots me there to the spot with those azul eyes that fill my dreams.

“Yer mum’s here,” I confess softly, forcing the words until they come tumbling out.

The shock and misery that debilitate her features at my words is next to nothing when we both hear the words that enter the room, “Hi, bunny.” I don’t need to turn around, because Becky’s face tells me all that I need to know, that her mum is already here.

“No,” Becks mutters, eyes glassy with an army of tears. Her head shakes quickly from side to side, and her hand falls from my face to clutch mine with dear life. “Harry, please no.”

“‘m so sorry, bug, it wasn’t me. I promise, I promise,” I confess tearfully, leaving her side to stand. If I had wanted to take another step, she wouldn’t let me, because my hand begins to hurt from how hard she’s holding onto it.

“Hi, Becky, it’s mum.”

“No, no, no, no,” Becky exclaims before me, emotions flying from her blues that beg at mine, sobs shaking her chest.

“Please leave, she d-doesn’t want you here,” I plead, lifting my head to find her mother walking around her bed to the other side.

“Excuse me? She’s my daughter, I-,” she begins, but Becky’s onslaught of ‘no’s pierce the air, threatening to never leave. My other hand comes to cover our joined pair, massaging circles into her skin where the IV doesn’t live.

“She doesn’t want you here, can’t you see that?!” I exclaim, stepping forward and closer to Becks, unsure of what more I can do. The only thing I can think of is to grab her by the shoulders and make her leave, but more than one reason refutes that, including the fact that Becks won’t let me leave.

“She’s upset and tired, she doesn’t know what she wants,” she, whatever her name is again, contends with emotion twisting her features into confusion. Swiftly, the hints of Becky are gone in her and the fear she finds in her mother’s face is shared with me and with those darkening eyes. “She is my daughter and I can-.”

“Harry, make her leave, please!” Becks shouts below me, head going from side to side in denial, and sobs stabbing at my ears.

“What’s going on here?” another voice demands, and already two days in, I know that it’s the day nurse, Shannon. Words flee her mother and I, while Becky’s insistent ‘no’s surround us. “Who are you?”

“I’m her mother, I’m here to see my daughter, Becky,” she insists from across me, reaching out a hand to touch Becks that she shrinks away from. Another crack resounds in my chest at the sound of her sobs growing louder.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to leave, you’re upsetting her too much,” Shannon announces emphatically, mentioning something about Becky’s vitals rising, only now drawing my eyes to the neon numbers. I wouldn’t have noticed it, although I try to tell myself that I would have eventually, but she’s right. Becky’s pulse is well over one-hundred, and her blood pressure is reaching dangerous numbers, and my heart picks up speed behind my ribs. I’m rather sure if I was hooked up to one of those, they wouldn’t look too good, either, with what’s going on. “Please leave before I call security.”

Relief doesn’t find me for several minutes, and it takes twice as long to arrive for Becks who still whimpers below me, the tears nowhere near stopping. The ones waiting in my dugout finally answer their call when the nurse mentions giving her something to calm down.

“No, I got it, jus’ gimme a few minutes. I can get her t’ calm down,” I insist tearfully, swallowing against a desert while rainfall covers my cheeks, and hers. “Hey, ‘s okay, baby, ‘s okay. Deep breaths, ‘kay?” I coo to Becky, but I’m well aware of the lack of conviction in my voice.

“Is she gone?” she cries and I nod quickly.

“She’s gone, bug, and ‘ll make sure she won’t come back, I promise. You don’t hafta worry.”

“I don’t wanna see her,” Becks confesses with a hiccup. Lifting my hand from our intertwined pair, I comb back her dark waves that nudge at her eyes.

“I know, Becks, I know. She’s gone,” I hum, catching her tears with the slick pad of my thumb before going back to stroking her hair.

“Why was she . . ?”

“I dunno, bug, there was a misunderstandin’,” I answer her, unsure of my words and every single thing that I do. I’m unsure if it helps, but I know that there’s nothing I’d rather be doing in this moment. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, even in my ignorant dreams.

“It wasn’t you, I know you wouldn’t,” she cries, shaky breaths escaping her lips when I ask her to take deep breaths with me.

“No, ‘d neva invite her, Becks. I dunno her name even.”

“Thank you,” she says with a hard gulp, with no allusion to what for, but I know. The hair stroking isn’t making a difference, because the tears are still coming at a record speed and I’m lost for words, and everything else too.

“Will you cuddle me, p-please? Feels like I c-can’t breathe,” she almost wails, her pained face dissolving with the words that she speaks.

“‘Course, bug, ‘m so sorry . . Keep takin’ deep breaths, I know you can do it, baby. ‘m right here . . in and out, that’s it. Keep goin’,” I tell her, toeing off my Vans that I wore for her whilst picking the oxygen cannula back up to thread into her nose. “Scooch over, Becks, don’t wanna hurt ya.”

A few more tendrils of relief find their way to me when she’s back in my arms, and I couldn’t care less what the nurse has to say, because nothing could feel more right than this. I’m only confirmed of that when she wiggles her way into my arms almost immediately and her head finds my chest, the tears soon wetting the fabric.

“Can you sing it to me?” Becks requests and an instant confirmation fills the air.

“Wise men say only fools rush in,” I begin, my fingers dancing through her hair and my lips leaving kiss after kiss atop her head. With my mouth ghosting over her hair, my eyes wander to the heart rate monitor. As the song paints the air around us, I watch as the numbers slowly start to fall while her crying quiets.

Only moments after finishing the last line of the song and for the second time, do her snores fall against my chest, and can I finally breathe. I lie there, counting the freckles scattered across her creamy white skin and wait for the tears to at last leave my eyes. Carefully, I move my body away from hers and lay her head down on the pillow, lastly draping the blankets over her sleeping body.

“‘ll be right back, I gotta go and keep me promise,” I whisper against her cheek, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear naked of earrings. My footsteps only begin after pressing a kiss to her cheek, assuring myself I’ll be back within moments to give her another.

The nurse shoots me a quick smile on my way out as I make quick work of the tears, and silent words pass between us albeit for the quiet ‘thank you’ and ‘good job’ she rewards me with.

“You might be my favourite, even though you’re not supposed to be getting into that bed with her,” she grins, her ponytail bobbing as she shakes her head at me jokingly. “You lot sure have a connection, so don’t be going anywhere for too long, she might miss you too much.”

“Thanks, I won’t be gone long. I uh, jus’ gotta go make sure o’ sumthin’.”

“That mum of hers, I hope?” she wonders aloud, turning her body towards me ever so slightly in her olive green scrubs.

A nod of mine answers her words and her ‘good luck’ rings in my ears as I walk away, glancing over my shoulder one last time at Becks, searching for a strength that I need. She’s never disappointed me when I look for it in her, whether it was years ago when she pulled me out of my shell, helped me through my granddad’s death, or just the other night when I found my way back to her and never left. This isn’t one of those dire times, but I know that she needs me to do this for her, no matter the absence of her question.

I’m uncertain if I’m surprised to see the strange figure standing in the family room, or the tension already electric in the air when I arrive. It only worsens when a few of them turn around to look at me, and the blame falls away instantly when Chuck and Robbie’s faces plummet at the sight of mine. It all wads into a ball and is thrown at her when the anger builds on hers.

“You need t’ leave,” I announce, a sniffle worming its way into my words. I couldn’t care less about the sight of my red-rimmed eyes or the tears that fall from them now. All I hope is that my many years in law will pay off for this argument that I so desperately need to win. “It wasn’t a good idea t’ come, she doesn’t want you here. I think that’s rather obvious from what jus’ happened.”

Her features crease into that of a bulldog, ready to pounce, but I was ready for this before I even stepped foot in this room. “What do you know, being her new boyfriend and all? You hardly even know her, I reckon . . She’s my daughter and she almost died,” she insists with a spiteful grin sticking to her lips.

“What’s that matta? Ya weren’t there fer her when she was alive, so why’d ya come now?” I spit out, and am instantly rewarded with the image of the words slapping her in the face. “I do know what’s bloody best fo’ her, and what’s best fo’ her right now ‘s fer you t’ leave and not come back. She doesn’t want you here, I dunno how many times I gotta fookin’ say it. She’s been thru’ hell and back, and ‘s tryna figure out what tha bloody hell this new life ‘s and how t’ function again whilst bein’ on several meds and stuck inna hospital bed. Let her bloody rest so she can get betta and heal, if ya even care ‘bout her ya’d leave her be t’ get betta,” I sigh, turning on my heel to place my back to them. Her fiery gaze beats against my neck as I let the tears fall, not bothering to clean them up, because I can only deal with one mess at a time.

“Who the fuck was that, and who does he think he is?” she retorts, seemingly more to herself and those around her than to myself, her voice only a ghost now.

“That’s Harry,” Chuck answers, something shining through in his voice that I can’t quite decipher.

“Harry? You mean her boss, Harry?” Kate responds, taken aback.

“No, right now that’s Harry. Her best friend and boyfriend, Harry,” he tells her, and I think I hear it finally, just rounding the corner. It accompanies the chuckle that floats down the hallway after me.

It’s pride.

The very same feeling glues itself to me as I take long steps back to her, thoroughly aware of how much better it feels to come back to her than it is to leave her. Even in her sleep, she seems to retain that feeling of hers amidst all of the drugs, because when I sit down next to her, I watch those pretty eyes open.

“Harry.”

“Hi, honeybug. Go back t’ sleep, everything’s okay, yer mum’s gone,” I tell her, cradling her cheek in my hand, because I’m sure that if my words somehow hadn’t done it, that Chuck will make sure of her exit.

“Okay,” she sighs softly, her eyelids fluttering closed. I lean over her and press whispers of kisses to her eyelids, leading me to find that dimple like a ghost in her left cheek. “Harry?”

“What ‘s it, bug? Ya need yer rest, ‘s almost bedtime,” I hum, settling back onto the chair. My eyes fall from her when a warmth finds my hand now, and I smile at the appearance of her hand lacing with mine.

“I love you,” she whispers, and everything stills around me, and inside of me. My head snaps up and over to her calm exterior that soon blurs in front of me as a breathy laugh coats my lips.

“I love you too, Becks,” I return quickly, tears adorning my words and leaving them to break in the air.

The dimple remains alive in her cheek when her eyes creak open and meet mine briefly before I steal a kiss from her lips. So, it wasn’t a fluke the other night, afterall. Hmm.

“Get some sleep, ‘ll be here when ya wake up,” I coo against her hair, cradling her head with my hand.

“You too,” she yawns, closing her eyes and wiggling around in the bed, and I swear that I couldn’t have seen something more beautiful in all of my days. She just keeps surprising me though, and making me wonder how she could ever become more gorgeous, or more importantly, how I could ever come to love her more.

I know that tomorrow she’ll change that, and the day after that, and after that, when my heart will grow another size to love her a little bit more.

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adrischrv · 4 years ago

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REGNUM [L.H] - Chapter 6

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 2,211

Three delicate knocks on the door sounded in the room. I had been awake since the early hours of the morning, sleep came and went, and the intrigue of last night's sobbing didn't help. I refused to believe it was Luke, it made me uncomfortable to even imagine him crying.

“Good morning, Amberly.”

“Lidia, come in," I offered her two pins. “I tried to put these on my braid but it was impossible.”

She laughed a little, closed the door, and settled down behind me, and I saw her face in the mirror on the dresser. She wasn't wearing any makeup, she didn't need any. She was just a few years older than me and looked spectacular.

“So... ambassador," She began to talk, struggling a bit with the pins. “How do you feel?”

I sighed while fiddling with a pair of earrings within my reach.

“Well, except that I have to do my work, I can't wait to make some real changes," I smiled. “How did you end up working here?”

“My father was a great friend of the king, they played together as kids. When they grew up, he married Queen Susan... Jake, Luke, you know that part... and my father, on the other hand, married my mother who died when I was five... “ I touched one of her hands in a comforting gesture, she looked at me and nodded. “Before he died, my mother made my father and the king meet again, so the king felt a responsibility to... help us. He gave my father a job here, but he is old now and... it is my turn, I must help him.“

Her face was disturbed by memories, sadness threatened her.

“You do a wonderful job, Lidia. Your father must be proud of you…”

She nodded at my attempt to encourage her. She finished the braid and started to put the pins in.

“That's enough of that, I'd like to know... How is Duke Clifford?” She asked with more curiosity than she should have. “I heard the girls in the kitchen say that he was back and that he looked more charming than usual…”

It was by lowering her tone of voice, which made me laugh.

“Did I hear wrong or did you call Michael charming?” I said, laughing as she blushed. “DUKE CLIFFORD…”

“AMBERLY! -I have your hair in my hands!” She pulled gently on the braid.

I raised my hands in surrender.

“He's not here today anyway," I smiled, she rolled her eyes.

“By the Forest, I almost forgot!” she exclaimed, looking for something in her cross-bag. After a moment she pulled out a letter. “It's from the Duke, for you.”

I took the letter that Michael had told me he would leave with Lidia, not without first smiling mischievously at Lidia who only hesitated.

"Amberly,

Hi, ´tis Michael!

Your task will be to put the greenhouse aside for a while and organize the annual picnic for the employees at the palace. Naturally, this would be a task for the Queen and King but Luke has refused to participate and because of the tone in which he said "Do whatever you want, Mike" I have taken the liberty of asking you. I know you'll do a great job.

-M.”

“...employee picnic," I repeated aloud. “Sounds interesting.”

“Just like him," Lidia replied, a little distracted before she realized what she had said. “Sorry!”

“By the sea, Lidia, you should talk to him.”

She looked at me as if I had told her a very good joke.

“I'm serious, he's... “ I couldn't find the words to describe him after our brief time together. “He'll make you laugh!”

“More than you do with such quips? I doubt it.”

She took the earrings from my hands and placed them in the jewelry box, exchanging them for gold ones that matched the short yellow dress I chose today.

“We haven't spent much time together, but he looks different... “

“Than Luke? Even my mare is better than him," we shared a laugh.

“What about Ashton? I see you more with him... “

I shook my head and stopped myself from developing the thought. However, Lidia continued:

“Imagine for a second..." She took the necklace Lauren and Ashton had given me from the jewelry box and placed it around my neck. ”Amberly Sarah Campbell... of Irwin... Queen of Lauxwell.”

Laughter flooded my room again, the last time I laughed so much had happened so long ago that I didn't remember it.

I took a few seconds to imagine it seriously, reigning next to Ashton... quite an adventure, who knows what he would plan every day to go out and distract us. And Luke... I imagined his anger at the fact that his kingdom had to surrender, which shook me a little.

“I don't think it's possible," I told her once we weren't laughing.

“Oh, come on! We all know how crazy the great King of Laxuwell is for you," She left the necklace on the dresser. “I think he's not the only one... “

Before I had a chance to ask what exactly she meant by that, someone knocked on the door desperately. Lidia opened it and a girl with gardening looks and short hair looked at her with fear.

“Julia, what ...?” Lidia seemed to see her face in terror until that moment. She inhaled, understanding what was happening. “It's today…”

The gardener nodded, wrapping Lidia in a tight embrace as she sobbed against her clothes, despair was palpable on her face... she seemed to be about... sixteen or fifteen years old.

“Julia..." whispered Lidia, pointing at me with her chin.

Julia sipped her nose, arranged her clothes, and looked at me with shame.

“Your Highness, excuse me, I didn't see you before," she spoke quickly.

“It's all right, don't worry," I smiled, hoping to relax her a little. “What exactly is today?”

They both looked at each other, Julia closed the door behind her. I had never seen Lidia so scared, she saw her partner with sadness.

“King Robert started a system for us by marrying Queen Susan," the redhead swallowed. “The palace would lend money to the servants who needed it and they would pay it back within two months. The salary they give us is good if you've been here a while, Julia started recently. Her older sister had to have emergency surgery because of an accident at work so she asked for a loan... today is two months ago... “ Lidia turned her gaze to Julia, I nodded in understanding. “Since His Majesty Luke turned ten years old he has had to carry out this task in his father's eyes, collecting from workers who ask for this loan. Now he's the King, I don't think there is a difference... much less a pardon. He's going to fire her.”

“It's just me and my sister…” Julia shuddered.

It hurt to see the girl in that state, who knows what so many tragedies were going through her head... How did they expect her to pay?

I could help her, I needed to do something, to negotiate... to talk, even if it was with my least favorite person at the moment.

I got up from the dresser, opened each drawer in search of something of sufficient value, of spare. The green glow of the necklace Lauren and Ashton had given me danced in the corner of my vision right where Lidia had left it after it landed on my neck. I took it and walked over to the girls.

“Take me with you.”

We went down the steps quickly, Julia led us through the corridors to the west side of the palace where the collections were taking place.

We went out into the garden of this wing, it had fewer flowers than the rest of the gardens but they looked well cared for and freshly planted. In the middle of it was a U-shaped row of servants surrounding Luke, sitting at a picnic table with safes and papers on it.

“We're on time, it's starting," whispered Lidia just to us.

Luke looked bored, glancing at the paper in his hands, not wanting to look around. He said the first name on the list apathetically.

A boy with clothes full of hay and a couple of stains on his pants stepped forward, said something under his breath, the blond man snorted, and some guards grabbed the boy and dragged him out of the garden. Before he left, he spat at Luke's side, he got rigid about his action, for a moment I was afraid he would call him and give him a terrible consequence but he didn't. Instead, he hunched over again and spoke again as the boy was carried away from the garden.

“Rosé Bellamy Julia.”

The girl covered her mouth beside me, shaking and about to sob again. I put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her, feeling her body release the tension for a second. I looked at Lidia, she nodded as if she knew I had asked her to protect her if anything went wrong. Then I walked over to Luke.

He didn't hide his surprise, straightened his posture, and left the paper on the table.

“The last time I checked, your name wasn't Julia, your highness.”

Your words came out sharp as a knife, in your usual strong tone of voice.

“The last time I checked you had humanity in you, your majesty. Or who knows, I am not so sure.” I tried (and succeeded) to match his tone, I slipped the emerald necklace close to his hand before he could say anything. “It's for Julia and for everyone on that list.”

Murmurs, muffled screams, and even sobbing surrounded us. Luke inspected the necklace in his hands, looked at a man in a suit who nodded repeatedly.

“Tell me if you need more,” I asked impatiently.

Luke raised an eyebrow, dropped the necklace in one of the boxes, and got up from the table.

“That's enough, we're done here for the month," he spoke for the servants who were already celebrating, raising a hand to quiet the celebration. “Please, thank Princess Amberly.”

He winked at me while leaving the table. I frowned, I couldn't help but think that it wasn't all, that it couldn't be that easy.

But maybe it was.

Julia ran to me, I hugged her tightly, she had such a wide smile.

“Thank you, Princess Amberly. I´ll never forget this!”

Like Julia, all the other servants came to thank and pay their respects. I took their hands which showed perfectly the work and tiredness they´ve invested. I nodded and was glad to see them relieved, carefree, hoping to see the same happiness released from more people in the future.

On my way from the west wing to the east where the greenhouse was located, a line of servants and guards interrupted my path. In the end, I saw Lauren standing in front of a door, as bright and beautiful as ever, wearing a green suit and black heels as her hair.

“Lauren," I called to her, changing her pace to my direction. “What's all this?”

“It's time for me to go back to Lauxwell, I have a couple of things to do. I left my luggage in this room, but apparently, no one has the key to open it," she crossed her arms. “Someone must do something about this lack of efficiency.”

I remembered the keys I had found in the greenhouse. I had completely forgotten to tell Lidia this morning, but they could help Lauren.

“I found some keys in the greenhouse.”

She blinked twice in a row and came closer to me with intrigue.

“What were you doing there?”I looked at her with suspicion, I didn't understand her interest. “I've been told horror stories from there, that's all.”

“As an ambassador for Maredale, I must have a place of work that seems to be there," I explained. “I found them in a flowerpot, I suppose they´re forgotten or old copies but give me two seconds, I'll go to my room and check.

She nodded, a guard stood in the way as soon as we took a few steps and showed a key.

“I'm sorry for the delay, Your Majesty Lauren. We can open the door now.”

“Oh. No need to worry, good man. Go ahead," Lauren left room for me to pass and turned to me. “Princess Amberly, see you soon. I trust you'll take care of my brother, won't you?”

“Count on it," I smiled and she nodded, going the opposite way from me.

I circled the greenhouse, taking a seat on a large rock outside with a feather and leaves in my lap, ready to capture the ideas I had for the picnic. I looked at the greenhouse, it was a matter of cutting some plants here, others there... I had a good space to put two desks and decorations inside once it was empty.

A detail surprised me at the entrance. On top of a small wooden table, there was a pair of gloves ideal for manual work and a note on top of them, I took it and read it:

I took it and read:

"Thank you.

-L."

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partialto · 4 years ago

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Thirty questions that actually aren’t exactly thirty questions; tagged by @wendy-daahling so of course I must!

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag some blogs you want to know better

Name/nickname: Liz; I used to INSIST on Elizabeth but it’s been so many years that now only very old friends use that so it’s become more like the nickname

Gender: IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT and that said, I’m a dame

Star sign: Scorpio and annoyed abt it; I don’t identify with it at all

Height: 5′6″

Time: hahahahaa after the past year we’ve all had? What is time???

Birthday: who caaares, I prefer celebrating collective holidays and in my particular season Halloween is RIGHT THERE

Nationality: American; if we’re talking descent, my dad’s people came from Alsace-Lorraine and my mom’s from Sicily

When did I create this blog: oh god like 10 years ago?? But I ignore it for long periods

What do I post: literally whatever is attracting my attention at the time, I’m terrible at maintaining a ~theme~ (that said, some things that commonly reappear are: New York b/c I love my city; fandom stuff b/c I like getting into fictional worlds; musical theater b/c it’s an old love I’ve been rediscovering; art, architecture, and people I find beautiful; occasionally words that resonate with me, things that make me laugh, and my own photos/videos/gifs)

Other blogs: I am so inactive online, the last blog I had was a Livejournal and we do not talk about those days

Do I get asks: I can’t imagine why I would

Why I chose my url: I knew I would be posting a bunch of random things I liked, so it seemed sufficiently vague that I might never feel the need to change it

Following: enough people that it gives me anxiety knowing I miss a ton!

Followers: the most patient and lovely people

Last thing googled: "kehinde wiley portrait of ll cool j”

Average hours of sleep: I get through the week on caffeine and spite

Lucky number: I don’t believe in luck, but I like plain old 1

Instruments: I have let a lot of my skills rust so I can’t claim to be GOOD at any of these anymore, but I can noodle my way around on piano, clarinet, violin, guitar, and my current favorite b/c it’s essentially Lazy Person’s Guitar, baritone ukulele

What am I wearing: some very soft joggers, By The Fireplace, and this t-shirt

Dream job: the job I have now keeps me interested, but no job I could realistically have excites me. What I dream of is never working again; THINK OF ALL THE READING I COULD DO

Dream trip: I want to cruise around the Mediterranean and stop at literally every city. Or ride a riverboat down the Loire and stop at every chateau. Or take a full month in a single city somewhere, New Orleans or Delft or Kyoto or Johannesburg.

Favorite bands: I’m polyamorous but will always go back to R.E.M.

Favorite solo artists: I like a lot of strange girls and sad guitar boys

Favorite song: Tears for Fears, Head Over Heels. That opening, that guitar riff, that bass groove, that melody, those pizzicato violins, the way my soul ascends at the La la la la la part!

Song stuck in my head: this and I’m fine with it tbh

Last film: The Girl With All the Gifts and I loved it

Last series: His Dark Materials and as much as it pains me to say, I gave up on it. I think nothing will ever compare to the experience of reading that first book.

Last book read: finished: The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, which I wanted to like more than I did. current: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry which I’m probably going to put down; thought ‘if not now, when’ but as it turns out now is NOT the time; comfort rereads Uprooted by Naomi Novik (I love one [1] asshole wizard and his messy apprentice) and Embassytown by China Mieville (give me all the sci-fi about language and communication!!!)

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: I’m going to have to be true to my childhood self and say Middle Earth in the Third Age, Anne McCaffrey’s Pern c. late Eighth Interval/Ninth Pass, and Tamora Pierce’s Tortall. Tomorrow I’m going to wake up and wish I said something else this is so stressful!

Tagging @die-rosastrasse, @nymphastral, @sakuramotion, and @vsackville-west if you’d be so inclined

#tag games

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laceymorganwrites · 5 years ago

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Magnitude pt.3

Word Count: 1,108

Pairing: Stain x reader

Warnings: swearing, insecure thoughts

Taglist: @bakubatty

Over the course of the next week your relationship with Stain got worse and worse, you fought all the time and you felt like he became too controlling. He told you he didn´t need you, you told him he could just fuck off then and then he told you he loved you and you gave in again.

Today was just one of those days when you were at each other´s throats, constantly yelling at each other. It could be heard throughout the whole building and honestly, it made Dabi extremely uncomfortable. He thought about texting you, but then he just thought that it didn´t involve him and he should stay out of your relationship issues.

He texted you the first time a few days ago, simply stating he was bored. Dabi spent hours overthinking even texting you in the first place, he kept telling himself that it was stupid and when he finally convinced himself to do it, he didn´t know what to say. A simple hi was dumb, so was everything else that came to his mind. And when he sent the text it was already too late, but that didn´t mean his thoughts stopped then.

They only stopped when he opened the door to your sad face that you tried to cover up with a big smile. He knew that look too well, he perfected it himself.

“So what are we gonna do about that boredom of yours?” you smirked, entering his apartment.

“Uh...I don´t really know, we could watch a movie or something” he suggested, not knowing what to do with his hands, why was he so nervous suddenly? He didn´t like this feeling at all, it made him uneasy.

“Yeah, I´d like that” you smiled as you sat down at the couch next to him. You remembered how you stole that couch together when he moved in and had to chuckle a bit.

“Hey, how come we´re only just now hanging out?” you didn´t know why but Dabi´s presence cheered you up, maybe it was because he didn´t judge, he only observed, it calmed you down how uncaring he was, how nonchalant about everything and yet he was awkward at the same time. Being around him made you feel secure.

“Cause you were too busy helping me get my shit together with this” he pointed at the rest of the apartment.

You laughed, he really warmed up to you. In the beginning he was so closed off and barely spoke but the more time you spent together, the more he talked and you noticed how witty and funny he was, it was a nice change from what you got at home. And it was what Dabi was scared of the most.

And yet here he was, letting his guard down in front of you.

He even smirked at you, acknowledging your reaction.

“That´s what friends are for, aye?” you nudged his elbow slightly and were shocked at how little resistance there was, he really was scary skinny.

You expected him to at least smirk a bit, agreeing to your statement, but he didn´t.

Instead Dabi looked at you dumbfounded, just staring at you puzzled, he had a deadpan expression and even frowned, as if you just personally insulted him.

“We´re...I mean you see me as a...am I really your friend?” he whispered, sounding strangely insecure, he was eyeing you sideways awaiting your answer.

“Well, yeah. I mean if you don´t wanna be friends with me then that´s fine, I just thought we were” you explained yourself.

“It´s not like I don´t wanna be, it´s just...I never had a friend before” he quietly admitted.

Fuck. That´s exactly why he never wanted to be closer to you, because he knew that he´d reveal personal shit like that, that made him look like the fucking loser, failure, weak, fuckup he was.

“Well, now I´m here” you grinned and he slowly but surely smiled back at you. Maybe this wouldn´t be so bad.

You finished watching the movie and then you made something to eat for the two of you.

“You wanna come party with me sometime?” you hesitantly asked him.

“I´m not really the party type” Dabi responded, why would you ask him that? His answer should´ve been obvious and well, he didn´t want people to see him if they didn´t have to.

“That´s fine, I just need distraction right now, with everything going on, you know?” you nervously explained, you hated talking about it but the whole fighting just made you want to run away from everything.

“Yeah, I bet… but hey, if it´s just distraction you need, we can watch another movie” he suggested.

“Yes, that´d be nice, thanks” you said, smiling.

After a while you got tired and said goodbye to Dabi.

“Thanks for spending some time with me, it really took my mind off things...” you sighed.

“It´s alright, you can come over anytime should something come up” he boldly told you, it was weird how he was saying such considerate things when this kindness has been missing his whole life. How did he know what to say to you in such a situation? Maybe it was because it was like he imagined you saying it to him, not like he did that.

“I´ll keep that in mind” you smiled sweetly and then went home.

As soon as you walked through the door, you expected Stain to yell at you again for something stupid, but none of that happened.

Instead you found him asleep on the couch, looking pained even in such a peaceful state, you smiled to yourself, so that was the reason for his bad mood. Well, you weren´t surprised, he always got upset when he didn´t get enough sleep.

“Babe? You home?” he quietly mumbled and you bit your lip.

“Yeah...sorry, I didn´t mean to wake you” you quickly apologized, you wanted to cuddle him but you didn´t know if he wanted to too.

“You didn´t, I couldn´t sleep anyway...you know I can´t sleep well without you” he said, making your heart jump and your knees melt.

“Is that so?” you giggled, laying down next to him and stroked his hair.

He instantly calmed down, softly looking at you.

“I´m sorry, baby… for being so angry lately, it´s not your fault, I´m just stressed and tired...I´m so fucking tired” he clung onto you, resting his head against your chest.

Your hands roamed over his back to soothe him as you put a blanket over you two.

“It´s okay, you can go to sleep now, I´m here with you” you reassured him, cuddling him until he and afterwards you fell asleep.

#boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagine #boku no hero academia dabi #dabi x reader #dabi #bnha #bnha imagine #bnha dabi #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #my hero academia dabi #mha #mha imagine #mha dabi

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80s-roger · 5 years ago

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when love must die pt2: joe mazzello

note: if you want to be tagged on my permanent taglist, make sure to message or ask me!

I'll just cope with Roger Taylor one shots because I get super inspired

masterlist (there's part one, everything's organised)

warnings: tissues

words: 1,939

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night when Joe and you made love, it was the night you'd stay pregnant. The first trimester was extremely hard for you. The headaches, the sleep deprivation for many nights, the nausea and the vomits exhausted you but you knew it would pay off at the end. You never fought again after the next day. You were both so excited to welcome to your world the newborn.

You were seven months pregnant by now. You still couldn't believe how natural it happened. After doing the test with all these suspicious symptoms you were finally sure about your pregnancy. You enjoyed caressing your tummy and playing with the fetus inside you. Joe was extremely happy, he couldn't miss a chance without sitting or laying next to you and talk to the baby.

The doctor warned you, it would be a difficult period for you and the fetus. You had to be home until the day you'd give birth, your organism couldn't handle the previous fertilisations so it disposed them like it was some random microbe. Maybe after all these known procedures, your organism accepted the fact you wanted a baby, so it produced antibodies. Organism are you okay hun?

"Baby, I'm home." Joe came back home.

"Hello!" You greeted him after checking him on the door. You were at the couch laid, watching tv. "How was your day?"

"Boring, I was counting the hours down to come back home and see you." He smiled and sit over your legs, having them at his thighs and of course he tickled your big tummy so the baby would react but you did too. "Hey little buddy!" Joe leaned at your belly smiling.

Your finger tickled that area and the baby kicked. His little foot could be seen. Joe and you laughed in awe.

"Your daddy's here! Did you miss me?" He smiled at the tummy and the baby was joyfully kicking.

"We missed you!" You said smiling and he leaned to your lips, kissing you.

"Can't wait to see this kid running among us." He laughed.

The baby was kicking from joy to nervousness. It was kicking like crazy. It wasn't a wonderful feeling but a painful one.

"What's wrong?" He seriously asked watching you in pain.

"It's kicking nervously." You closed your eyes in pain. "It's okay, baby, please stop." You caressed your stomach trying to calm it down. You almost teared from pain.

"What do you want me to do? Are you alright? Joe lost it seeing you crying by now.

"Fuck..." You moaned in pain. "It's kicking. I am hurting." You complained.

He caressed your hand trying to relax you but his gaze was stuck to your pants, at your privates area. His eyes were wide opened. He was shocked.

"What is it?" You asked in terror.

"Y/N, you're wet down there." He touched some of the liquids over your pants, trying to figure out the smell. "It's not pee but are these from the baby? Is... Is it blood?" He nervously asked and you were on the edge on having a panic attack. "Calm down! We're going at the hospital! Don't move!" He caressed your cheek and picked you up on bridal style, taking you out to your car. He placed you at the back seat and after getting at his seat, he started driving frantically.

"Joe I'm scared." You whimpered and you felt more blood exiting your vagina.

"Don't be, love! Maybe it's coming earlier than we thought!" He hold your hand while driving, he didn't want to lose your touch.

After ten minutes you were at the hospital. He got you at his arms again, running fastly to reach the maternity department. Two nurses brought a bed and led you to the emergency services.

"What's wrong?" The nurse asked.

"I don't know, she was just laying and the water broke, I guess?" He said confused.

"In which month is she?" She added.

"Seventh." Joe was sweating, ready to cry.

"Alright, we'll let you know in a few. Just give your personal information at the reception." she calmly said and went at the surgery in where they got you in.

"Full anaesthesia in eight, seven, six..." You felt weak as the seconds reached four. You had no idea what was going on. You didn't even have the time to hear Joe's soft words before leaving you here.

Joe was out there, praying to God to keep you and the baby safe. It was a difficult pregnancy, you both knew about it but why so sudden? A difficulty can't be shown so suddenly. It all went so well. He was sitting at the chair crying, seeing the doctor and the nurses running and working hard in there. He had no idea what was going on and neither did you. Especially you. He had to call his best friend and your brother, Ben.

"Hey man, what's up?" He asked unconsciously.

"Run to the hospital now! It's y/n! She's at the surgery!" He frantically said with his voice shaking.

"What the fuck, I'm on my way!" He immediately hang up the phone.

After five minutes, the doctor came outside. Joe stood up like an elastic material.

"How's she? What's happening?" Joe asked the doctor, nervous.

"Internal bleeding and inside the surgery, turned out external from the vagina." Doctor neutrally nodded his head.

"H-how? It was all normal an hour ago!" Joe lost it.

"It's called placental abruption. It's a very rare case at this stage. It's usually happening at the first trimester. I'm afraid it's difficult." He was pessimistic and Joe could read his expression.

"How can this happen?" He asked.

"Maybe the fetus kicked strong enough... There's no stable answer to that." The doctor replied.

"How's the baby?" it was the only thing he could say.

"We are trying to save its life. A placenta abruption, causes oxygen loss to the fetus's environment. It's God now..." He left and went back to you, trying to save the remaining. You. The baby was actually gone. It died before exiting your vagina. They were trying to save you now from septicaemia.

Ben arrived minutes later, seeing Jon being a total mess. He sat next to him nervous. Joe couldn't stop crying thinking of the worst.

"How's she?" He asked placing his hand around Joe's shoulder.

"I don't know... They're trying to save the baby." Joe moved his head nervously.

"But h-how did it happen?" He asked confused.

"We were just at the living room, I just came home by then and we were tickling the baby and it suddenly started kicking strongly, that caused pain to y/n until I saw blood at her pants." Joe narrated.

"And how does the doctor call it?" Ben asked searching for your body.

"Placental abruption." He silently said. "If they die...-"

"They won't die! Everything's going to be alright! It's just a hard time!" Ben supported his friend.

"I can't live without her." Joe cried.

"Me neither. She's my older sister. I love her." Ben started crying. "I didn't even tell our mother she's at the hospital right now. She'd have a cardiac arrest." Ben implored.

"You did good Ben. It's just us." Joe nodded his head, hugging his pal.

An hour passed and a nurse came out. Joe and Ben stood up, going to her place asking for answers.

"Why is no one telling us a thing? How's she? I want to know!" Joe desperately shouted and Ben looked at him shocked, so did the nurse.

"I'm sorry... The baby didn't make it..." The nurse admitted and Joe was staring at her shocked. His legs were cut, he couldn't move a muscle. He was in a comma.

"Joe? Joe, you alright?" Ben gently pushed Joe's back.

"What do you mean it didn't make it?" He asked confused, trying to realise what was really happening.

"There wasn't enough oxygen to stay alive inside the placenta. It was removed from the vagina, it was already inside the cervix." The nurse didn't tell much stuff. They were all trying to save you.

"How's y/n? Is she okay?" Ben asked.

"We are doing our best to keep her alive. We have to prevent septicaemia." she went back at the surgery.

"I can't do this Ben. I can't lose them both." Joe cried his heart out. Neither could he stand the thought of not being able to see you, hug you kiss you, nor being a father of your child. "I love her so much, I'm in pain." He continued.

"I'm sorry man... All we have to do is pray now." Ben whispered.

Many hours passed but Joe didn't stop whimpering and praying to his beloved God. Ben didn't leave his side. He was as scared as his best friend was they were about to lose something equally important. You. Sister, Wife, Daughter, a close enough mother.

Doctor came to their place with disappointment and discomfort at his face. Joe recognised that gaze but still hoped for a miracle. He was in agony to find out.

"Well?" He asked searching for answers.

"There's no hope..." he closed his eyes, his head staring at the ground. "They're both gone." He had to say it and not trick their minds. You were gone and so did the baby. You were finally a mother up there but seeing Joe debastated and an absolute mess hurt your delivered soul.

"What do you mean they're both gone? Y/N is still in there fighting for herself!" Joe shouted with his remaining stamina.

"She's died due to septicaemia... The baby was already dead when we took it out of her vagina." Doctor was trying to keep him steady but that was impossible. Ben wrapped his arms around him, comforting him. "My condolences..." He left the waiting room and there was Ben and Joe crying on each other's arms.

Move on in life baby, I'll be up here taking care of you with our beloved son. He's finally happy and so am I and so will you. Find a worthy girl, make a family with her. You couldn't make it with me, but it'll happen with her. I want to see you glow again the way you did when we got married. Remember our baby and I love you so much.

Joe woke up sweating after seeing this... nightmare? No, it wasn't a nightmare. It was you, appearing in his dreams, sending him a sign of hope and love. He was devastated for over two years. Alone, sad and miserable, trying to stand on his feet. Until the doorbell rang. He walked through the hallway, reaching the door. There was a woman looking like you did before passing away.

"Are you looking for something young lady?" Joe asked mesmerized by the similarity. A young female, around her early thirties, beautiful and fully energized with a big smile decorating her round face.

"Um, hello! I am uh... I just, moved here and I'm greeting the neighbours. My name's y/n." She gestured her hand to Joe's side, asking for a hand greet.

If that was not a sign from up above then what it is? You fixed his life in seconds. There was that woman who would resurrect him from the living dead. A woman who looked like you, had the same name as you and certainly a woman who would finally help Joe stand on his feet. They would both have a big family, insisted of three kids and Joe was grateful every time he closed his eyes and talked to you.

#gwilym lee #brian may #roger taylor #ben hardy #joe mazzello #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello x female reader #joe mazzello smut #john deacon #queen band #queen #freddie mercury #rami malek #sad

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