#i wrote this in the Tumblr app

[flying-cat]

I just thought of Izuku immediately shooting up in the hero rankings like a week after he becomes an active pro-hero again because everyone is so happy that he's back and Katsuki wants to be annoyed that Izuku ranked higher than him so quickly like he would've been, once upon a time, but he really can't be because this is what he worked eight years to see, and now he can finally compete with him again. So he sits in his apartment, TV on, watching Izuku try not to stutter his way through his first returning interview with fondness and pride, and thinks it's finally time to put some actual effort into climbing higher on the hero rankings.

(Not that being #1 is his priority anymore. He's just happy that he gets to fight alongside Izuku again, that they can compete with one another as equals, and that they can complete one another like two sides of the same coin. For the rest of their lives.)

[beeduoo]

i really like that one tiktok

[drac0line1nn1t]

*Wade and Logan in a tent in the middle of no where*

Deadpool: Well you know what they say about having sex while camping?

*leans towards Logan and smirks*

Deadpool: It's fucking in tents

*Wolverine stabs him in the head with his claws*

[sleepyc63]

ruffles!!! :D

i regret to inform you all that the bubblfruit pants did not make it into this rendition of rivulet. i sincerely apologize (they can still wear them as pajamas or something,,, just too much detail to draw)

as always story under cut :D

Rivulet was born in a tropical area, but their family moved up north when they were a pup, so they don't remember much of it. She's been best friends with Saint her whole life and begged her parents to take them in after their mother passed (it worked! They're adoptive siblings :)). She also has ADHD, and has very intense RSD.

Rivulet was always very interested in marine life & anything to do with water, and they've been told since they were young that they'd make a great athlete someday. She was on every track and swim team throughout school, and was a highly valued member of her teams. In her late teens, she was offered something she couldn't turn down -- a scholarship at a sports-focused college down south. Even if it meant leaving her childhood home, she was more than happy to accept.

They have now graduated college and are now working as a mechanic to pay off their loans and start a life for themselves. They still live with Saint, but have moved out of their parent's home. She's worried her parents will want to move back up north (her younger siblings are not fans of the new scenery...) but she figures even if they do, they'll always come back to visit.

Since coming to town she's made a few friends, her closest friends being Monk and Moon. She's also developed a massive crush on the mailscug, Spearmaster. They're horrified to confess, though, since they've never been in a relationship before. But no matter what happens, she'll always have Saint to help her through it :))

---

@churrorat-art

[loquatenjoyer69]

He wants the loquat because he wants, like most people, to be happy.

Matoba is Matoba. The exorcist world is dying, families are losing their power, but there are still those who want to see the Matoba house brought to its knees, and even in a world like this where the competition is not what it used to be, it's still crucial to maintain the family's power. One slip could reveal a fatal weakness. A single crack could bring the whole house down.

Matoba is Matoba. A fifteen year old boy knows the histories of all the notable exorcist families, because he has to. If you're Matoba, you have to keep tabs on everyone. The Natori house was once powerful enough to rival the Matobas; their proprietary paper techniques allowed them to commune with the gods. Now all that's left of them is a child who knows nothing of his own legacy.

"The Matoba clan might not always be at the top, either, you know."

"Ahaha, I don't know about that... I won't let it fall." It's not allowed.

Every month, a hideous dark mass of a creature comes after him, trying to eat his eye out of his skull. Every Matoba head for countless generations has lived with this. The previous head's face was unrecognizable by the end. A fifteen year old boy is already preparing to take on the role with unwavering confidence. A single crack could bring the whole house down.

Exorcists gossip, exorcists scheme, they plot against each other and try to gain power. Youkai are unpredictable and dangerous; they can be powerful, but they often impose themselves on humans and cause them to suffer. If you can learn how to control them, you can wield that power. You must not let the youkai catch you, or the Matoba's power is no more.

Matoba Seiji is the head of the notorious Matoba clan, dispatching dangerous youkai with ease, spying on other exorcists, keeping the enemies of his clan in check, always carrying the umbrella when he needs it, always with that smile on his face. Matoba has perfectly mastered the art of protecting Matoba.

At twenty-two, he's been doing this for a while now. The small talk, the plotting, the bribing, the arrows, the umbrellas, the monthly visits from a creature hellbent on devouring your eye, it all becomes part of a routine, and at the same time, it gets tiresome.

Incidentally, Matoba Seiji likes sweet things. Incidentally, Matoba Seiji has a fondness for cats. These are essentially fun bits of trivia about him; they're not evidence of anything.

Incidentally, sometimes it seems like he's going out of his way to help people without them knowing. It's just easier that way; it's just more efficient.

None of this means anything. Maybe Matoba is the hard ground in winter: dry and barren, all life asleep underneath, waiting for spring (winter has been going on for years now). Maybe he's a summer harvest: the product of deliberate and painstaking cultivation under the heat of the sun. Maybe he's the spring: full of potential, just starting to blossom. Maybe he's the fall: dying, though he doesn't know it. Maybe people aren't like seasons at all; they're actually more complicated than that.

Summer is loquat season. Under the blazing heat of the sun, in the damp and sweltering air, the sweet loquats are ripening on the branch. Years ago, Matoba Seiji would admire them every day on the way home from school. It's wonderful how something so sweet and delicious could come from nature. Years ago, someone else was there, and they both got to taste the loquats. It's funny how things don't always work out.

[bbeelzemon]

as time goes on im realizing that describing your gender is tbh kinda similar to the naming of jellicle ca- hey wait no stay with me for a second here okay. im holding your hands and looking directly into your eyes now. listen to me. i have a public facing gender. a more specific and personal gender that i can share with my closest friends and family. and an innermost unique gender that only i can ever truly know. gender is just like a jellicle cats

[delta-piscium]

@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)

Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.

Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return. 

Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them. 

He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.

That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates. 

Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.

Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word. 

Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair. 

It’s wonderful.

It's the worst. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking. 

“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.” 

“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.” 

Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends. 

He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows. 

“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.” 

It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it. 

“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears. 

His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp. 

“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.” 

Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.

“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.” 

"What if I take too much?"

"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."

“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does. 

Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.

“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.” 

The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”

Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.

“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.

“I get you. I get everything.”

Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours. 

[restricted-on-13th]

Kaishin but it's The Bachelor

Be warned: this is a long post

I'll make at least 3 follow-up post for this, one for all the scenes I lost (ohmyfricking, my ice skating scene, ferrish whell confession, amusement park date, meteor shower escapade, night dances and my tango dance which is half of the masquerade, the outsider povs too sooooobbb) and the other two for Shinichi as the Bachelor instead or a mix of the two

Now for those who don't know what The Bachelor is, it's a dating reality show where at least 30 candidates are given chances to go on a date with the Bachelor (the person they are actively courting) This has rounds where each contestant is given roses by the Bachelor, signifying they are staying on the show, or aren't given any which means they are disqualified. There are events and dates in this show too along with activities where sometimes, the candidates or the Bachelor can choose the venue or site. Click this link to understand more, you can watch videos to get a handle on it too. I only watched some of the Asian spin offs of this show so it might be a bit different for me. (I might also have some original setting that might be different from how the reality show worked)

My setting includes:

-A walk-in wardrobe for the contestants (includes already styled outfits for the whole look, this is a life saver to Shinichi as a candidate who walked out and immediately got dissed on his clothing by the other candidates, the staff and the viewers (later when the episode was aired) he was sent back inside the wardrobe and chose the clothes off a mannequin instead even though it wasn't a feature of the show to take the whole outfit but it was later added due to Shinichi, he also met a candidate called Mimeko who is a seamstress who he asks for help too, she also joined the fun in dressing up Shinichi)

-A viewer voting polls for the dates and contestants (explainable, have fun ;) )

-Introductory video that is shown in the episodes, the bachelor and the candidates each have one (I don't remember if this is part of the actual show but im adding this for original setting if it isnt, this can go 2 ways: each of the candidates videos would be while they are introduce in episode one, meaning everyone will see in the show, or it can also be only shown to the bachelor, the viewers and the staff instead without showing anything to the candidates, only having watch their own and the bachelor's introductory video instead)

30 girls/guys or mixed cause we're being inclusive- The Bachelor staff in this au, post-conan timeline and far off into the future. Shinichi is working as a consultant and private detective, he's also known as a closed off famous detective that managed to take down an organization (BO) at the age of 19 going on 20, he's also been credited to working with multiple international law enforcement notably with the FBI, closing multiple unsolved and dangerous cases that involves high profile criminals. He doesn't have social media (to the loss of his fans) but is regularly covered by the media, leading him to have a large media presence as a detective (very professional, bro does not share life details or preferences easily, fans commonly and constantly bemoan the fact that the man is married to his work). He grew up from a haughty teenage detective meddling in crime scenes to the now beloved Ice Prince of the media, having visuals passed down from his mom that make you think he's an idol/model or enough to make you bent (while not as large as his female fans, he does have a sizable male fans). He also is biologically younger, it being one of the lingering effects from APTX as the poison literally destroys his cells and fats to turn him into a kid (seriously, how does bro survive that?), I always headcannon that Shinichi, after taking the antidote, would suffer from side effects for a while. In this au, he survived largely unscathed, only with a decreased immune system after taking the antidote and looking younger than all of his peers as he got turned back to the age he took the poison, so teenage body, when he's supposed to be 19-20. With also taking a hit on his immune system, his growth also got stunted meaning that after recovering his strength, health and immune system for like a year, he's much more smaller than Adult Kaito here in the show.

He's now 27 and after surviving attempts on his life, bless his heart, Shinichi is sent off to The Bachelor without his consent.

Sonoko, Ran and Yukiko planning in background, days pass, shoves a contract to the reality show to Shinichi's face with his signature forged already

Cue multiple near begging, near bribing, and near escape from Shinichi

The girls reason would be after a multiple failures in matchmaking, setting dates and introducing Shinichi to just about anyone (either he attracts murderers, creeps, stalkers or he just ends up befriending the person they introduced to him, its mostly the females that he befriends though, all the women he met and befriended has a tacit understanding of Shinichi being too much like kicked puppy that they can’t help pity the guy when it's so obvious he's not into it but still respects them, his friends goodwill and his mother's desire for grandkids, it also doesn't help that he's like a girl friend, understanding girl talks, shopping, being a dork that's so earnest even when he sucks ag giving fashion advice to his GirlFriends and the adorable mothering he does for the shounen tanteidan, some even privately think that damn this guy is a better girl than me or suspects he's gay due to remaining single for long and the SIGNS)

He is ;) he just doesn't know it yet

They're getting desperate here and it doesnt help that Shinichi is too much of a taciturn ass in dating, having little to no love life or worse, a disaster in his love life (Shinichi's love life is NOTORIOUS, not only in divisions one but in all law enforcements he works with, it also doesn't help that he gets psychos, yanderes and criminals as his partners and when they inevitably get possessive, pissy and angry at either Shinichi or people close to him, resulting to threats that are almost often publicly stated,

Cue the media storm and coverage cause man's love life is publicly known as a disaster

yes, there have been multiple memes about Shinichi's love life, Shinichi is unaware of the memes)

Sonoko: That detective geek can't possibly seduce my Kaito-sama! (She wants Shinichi to introduce Kaito to her and they'll have their wonderful love story UwU)

Ran being the good big sister: Shinichi needs someone by his side (preferably, not murderous)

Yukiko: Shin-channnnn, you need a girlfriend! Or a boyfriend or you'll end up single past your prime! I need to see my grandchildren soon! (Also low-key worried that Shinichi is going to be eternal single and she doesn't want him to be lonely)

Now this could go in a number of ways, Shinichi as The Bachelor or Shinichi as a candidate for The Bachelor (Kuroba Kaito, up and coming Magician who has won multiple international awards due to his Magic shows)

I need you to check Exhibit A and B to get what I mean regarding ELO and Non-ELO, its below 'As a Candidate'

Kaito, after hanging up the metaphorical cape on the mantle (He and Conan had a goodbye meet where Conan is soon going to leave so he can live his original life where they chat and talk all night long, both enjoying their limited time together, Kaito knows Conan is a teenage detective and has a crush on his Meitantei, he couldn't deny it anymore especially after finding out what happened to the other but he won't act on it while the other is pint sized so he just enjoys their time together, but in ELO, even though he already had pretty much all the clues, he respected Conan's privacy and didn't try to find out his real identity but in non-ELO, Kaito did snoop and found Kudo Shinichi though he didn't act on his crush as he knew the other still had Ran and needed time to get his life together) He comes back to Japan from Paris, having received an internationally acclaimed award in stage magic, is either in this reality show due to his Mom (Yukiko and Chikage setting their sons up together where Chikage actually spills this to Kaito, where him being his devious cunning self in Non-ELO, after having found out that all these years, Ran and Shinichi didn't get together and actually settled into a familial friendship instead, being presented the opportunity to snatch his Meitantei, takes it) or for his work (like connections wanting to support him so they gave him the opportunity to be in this show which Kaito agreed to due to being amused and curious and doing it just for formality's sake)

(Introductory video- I'll add it later as I have to rewrite it again along with at least 8 scenes that got deleted too :( )

As a Candidate:

Shinichi as a candidate is just Shinichi, he won't hate on the mysterious bachelor but that doesn't mean he's not grumpy :)

Shinichi also doesn't recognize Kuroba is Kid while Kid can either recognize Shinichi immediately or doesnt recognize him

When the bachelor (Kuroba) is first introduce, Shinichi just writes him off, preferring to brood and be annoyed, thinking escape plan after escape plans. He can't just run off without a proper excuse though, due to the contract that says he need to stay for the whole duration of the show until he's disqualified, he shivers to think of himself as a candidate in this awful reality show, and also because Yukiko called up her connections (the Producer Director of the show) to "pretty please make Shin-chan stay there, I just want my baby to get laid" which is just a thinly veiled command of "don't let him escape, I. Want. Those. Grandchildren." So he reigns himself to going along with it for now, ie going on those dates.

Exhibit A: Shinichi bonds with The Bachelor, Kuroba (he can know or not know about Shinichi being Meitantei) and becomes his shield for Begone Thots after Kaito (Shinichi can know about this or doesnt know, Kaito might also be purposely doing this cause you know, this might all be Kaito courting Shinichi hehehe, or Kaito doesn't recognise Shinichi and just outright thinks it would be funny and he wants to at least have someone on his side to use as a metaphorical human shield) shares his fake love life, drawing pity from Shinichi (staging many opportunities where Shinichi actively engaged in dates to help Kaito due to feeling sorry for the man and a kindred spirit to which Kaito knowing who he is, would gladly take it, or Kaito not knowing who he is, would slowly fall in love with him)

Exhibit B: Shinichi actively antagonises Kuroba to "get the hell out of this reality show quickly by being disqualified by the angry Bachelor" (Kaito can know about Shinichi, to which he's lovingly infuriated with Shinichi and want to either smack or kiss him, or to Kaito not knowing about Shinichi therefore is angry back until Shinichi also starts to dislike the guy, now this can go into the Enemies to Lovers Trope :) imagine the reactions of the viewers at the end of the reality show, Im calling it Eemies to Lovers Offshoot or ELO for short)

I can see Shinichi calling Takagi in the middle of the show, begging (bribing, blackmailing) to deliver case files to him. He'd be a candidate in this offshoot, with the candidate's phones being confiscated so he staged a little heist to steal a phone, mostly because it was written in the contract for Shinichi so yes, its targeted ;)

cause Shinichi, you don't need your files and work while on a reality show, you workaholic tehee~♡ -Yukiko)

3 outcomes possible you can combine ;)

The deed was caught in camera only due to Kaito suspecting Shinichi doing something and what do ya know, Heisei Holmes performs a heist (they dont recognise each other offshoot, ELO route)

The deed caught in camera only due to Kaito amusingly following Shinichi (he knows Shinichi as meitantei but Shinichi doesnt know him as Kid)

It wasn't explicitly caught in camera and only became known when at a later episode of the Bachelor, Takagi came with the case files, leading the staff currently at that time finding out about the little heist. Of course, the production staff reviewed their videos and recordings and was able to find small snippets of Shinichi's planning, lending an amused, indignant, and speechless air to everyone inside the viewing room. (Later episode that aired where Takagi arrived with the files involved a small snapshots of clips of Shinichi planning and a small clip of Shinichi walking down the hallway for a staff only room and a bathroom, confidently while sneakily striding and leaving the hallway with a skip in his steps and a small smile, there was an explanatory text that rolled up in the screen after this explaining how the staff found out about the Little heist the famous Heisei Holmes did, after this is a clip of a confrontation by the Producer Director to Shinichi with the director just asking which phone he used to contact Takagi-keibu and Shinichi just gives a smug smirk as he sharply glances back at the PD pointedly) (this can be ELO or not-ELO route)

There would also be a scene in the middle of the date where Shinichi goes along (or snarkily if its the enemies to lovers trope/ ELO) with Kuroba and he excuses himself to the bathroom, going inside the stall to immediately try to escape.

Cue Kaito waiting outside thinking why the hell is his date taking so long inside the bathroom (grumingly in enemies to lovers or ELO route, or amusingly if Kaito knows Shinichi and he just cracks jokes about how this is like being on a date with a girl then drawing references of Shinichi being the girl then Shinichi having wifey vibes just without the ability to cook elaborate recipes, yes, shinichi can cook basic meals in this au, nowwwwwww with this statement about Shinichi not being able to cook elaborate meals? Shinich fans zoom on this, why? Cause this little tidbit of fact isn't a widely known fact except for the Very Dedicated Old fans of Shinichi cause man is tightlipped about his private life. Most surface level fans just assume he can cook and with most defaulting that since he's mister perfect then he's able to cook like 5 star chef but nooooo, thats not it. The statement of about Shinichi not being able to make elaborate recipes cements to the oldies in the Lovers of One-Truth club, oldest Shinichi stan fanclub, that Kuroba might potentially or actually be a Shinichi stan. Viewers and fans start a whole commentary and discussion about this theory on twitter)

Shinichi comes out of the bathroom with a glum face (right after escaping through a bathroom window, running from the PD who while walking around the place, bought a milktea while at work and was enjoying the view, was caught slacking by Shinichi who they found was unexpectedly escaping through the window *spider man meme pointing at each other* , running and dogding the hordes of staff the PD called to catch him, the PD gets called back to work, until he gets tackled by one and gets put through the most intense retouching of makeup and clothing in under 1 minute by a terrifyingly capable makeup artist and fashion coordinator)

Shinichi stepping sleepily into the living room while the candidates lounge around Kaito in the late morning (buttering him up, acting coy with him or just having a nice conversation while Kaito there is being a charming gentleman) Kaito then cheerily says "Kudo-kun, good morning!" as Shinichi just coldly steps aside him ignoring him or more like not computing anything then makes a beeline for the kitchen, hovering right in front of the coffee machine and making eyes with it (homoerotic, terrifying and intense)

The atmosphere in the living room just drops after that cold shoulder, silence pervading as the camera rolls and records it.

Now 3 outcomes yet again hahahaha:

Kaito takes offense to his cold shoulder (unintentional) and it both further angers him with Shinichi thus giving more fuel to the ELO trope where the morning scene is then repeated in later episodes of the Bachelor, it's only Kaito and Shinichi in the living room where Kaito soon takes notice that Shinichi didn't mean to offend him and just isn't really a morning person

Kaito takes offense to this and Shinichi, playing into this misunderstanding to get disqualified early, doesn't clear it up and this also plays to ELO

Kaito is amused by this as he knows Shinichi, even in his Conan days, takes time to compute and understand the living world in the mornings and that coffee is his life blood (non-ELO)

Before I forget, Why is Shinichi not outright getting disqualified? There are 2 reasons I made up for it, you can choose:

One- I'm using one of my original setting here, instead of that setting only affecting dates and which candidate gets to participate in date chances, I'm adding a feature where it also affects who gets to stay in the show via the giewers voting the candidate they want to stay. Shinichi is constantly getting voted by his fanclub (for the sake of getting Shinichi a normal lover, wink wink), the internet trolls (in ELO route, it's funny cause Kaito clearly dislikes him or in non-ELO route, it's funny cause Shinichi clearly wants to get disqualified) and his friends, colleagues and family (The police force, the FBI, you can throw in the Interpol there, basically all of the law enforcement he worked with, since he also worked on cases internationally, you bet that's a lot and that's still not counting his family and friends where you can also bet that Sonoko would absolutely throw some cash to get people to vote Shinichi, she's not really doing it of course but she will, if given the chance, maybe half for Shinichi's sake but also half for Shinichi to suffer)

This would basically be that one idol in a Chinese idol show, here's for more details. (Yes, I am laughing my ass off right now)

Two: You can ignore number one as this reason is actually logical and very simple, Kaito doesn't vote Shinichi off

In ELO route, he doesn't disqualify Shinichi as he already dislikes the guy and he's only here for formality's sake so he's using Shinichi as an unofficial meat shield (Shinichi is not aware of this) from the other candidates (not that it works much)

In non-ELO route, it's because he wants Shinichi (duh) so he wouldn't want to get him disqualified but if he doesn't recognise Shinichi, same in the ELO route, he uses him as a meat shield though much more official where Shinichi actively tries to spend time with Kaito and get him to enjoy their 'hangouts' and also decidedly a lot less more grumbling as their introduction here didn't sour relations yet (if it's intentionally in Kaito's part in notifying Shinichi about his status as a meat shield to ask for help to get him away from the other candidates so he can spend more time with Shinichi, well, you choose :) )

Now extra scenes:

Boat date

-An event where each candidate would take a 30 minute date on a boat in a lake, the candidates found out about Kaito's Ichthyophobia, only Shinichi took it seriously and didn't laugh or found it funny and where he actively tried to get Kaito to enjoy the date, even in ELO route though a lot more unenthusiastic in making it enjoyable. Kaito later takes note of how Shinichi acted about the reveal, either thankful or thinking that the guy ain't so bad afterall. Kaito's fans, some of Shinichi's fanclub and the viewers also took notice of Shinichi's act and it started a very small subset of Kaishin shippers.

There would also be a few candidates who never actually took the phobia seriously or worse, think they can fix it. They would take their date chances and order food with fishes or actively go to a place with fishes and do those activities. Kaito would either try to endure, frankly say he doesn't like it, or storm out if he can't handle it anymore. Shinichi would later find Kaito in the dorms crying about it where he'd frankly tell him that "People who don't understand his phobia who actively make fun of it or expose him to it isn't worth giving his time for. People who do try to understand it are the ones worth considering and keeping around. "(Wow Shinichi are you advertising yourself? But seriously, even in ELO route, I can see Shinichi comforting Kaito about his phobia. Dislike or not, he'd tell him his opinion frankly and bluntly. He'd offer a shoulder to cry on or for someone to lean on but he'd still say his piece in the most firm gentle voice yet blunt manner of speaking.) Shinichi would then tactlessly blurt out "And hey, if someone wants to kill you, they just need to trap you in a room full of it". This startles a laugh from Kaito as Shinichi sheepishly scratches his head, face a bit flushed from embarrasment as Kaito says "Your head is just full of murder cases, huh? Kudo-kun" (This wouldnt be caught by a camera, this would be Kaito's own private moment, not shared with any of the public)

Garden picnic date alongside a lake

-It's an outside date where all of the candidate are participating, there are candidates who approached kaito during the date but there are also some who enjoyed the view. (Kaito later approached them instead) He entertained and did some magic for them. Shinichi had already split off from the group early on and found an isolated place near the lake under a tree where he read a book, there's only one cameraman who came with him, this can go into the ELO route where Kaito found Shinichi tried to at least be civil but Kaito, knowing from prior experience how rude the other can be, retorted rudely. This would go into a fight (verbally, I think they won't trade blows at least) where Shinichi would end up (accidentally) pushed into the lake. Shinichi would storm out of the garden in wet clothes, flushed with anger in Kaito, where Kaito would be frustrated, angry and slightly apologetic (he'd also take note that the other looks fine in wet clothes, the white polo didn't help) There would also be backlash to Kaito from Shinichi's fanclub and some of the viewers, where some would actively hate Kaito or viewers now disapproving of the magician. This would actively make Kaito think unfavorably on Shinichi, now actively wanting to disqualify him for it but knows he can't cause it would be a media storm. Now considering that there's a viewer poll setting in this au, there would be people banking on Shinichi getting disqualified or Shinichi's fans not voting him for dates. This works as Shinichi wasn't chosen for the dates after this but of course, Shinichi doesn't get disqualified (unfortunately, for Kaito and Shinichi) this also gave rise to the internet trolls who voted Shinichi for dates instead (this also worked after the unvoting fiasco, leading to dates where Kaito and Shinichi is staring with each other in silence until someone inevitably breaks it)

This can also go into the non-ELO route where Kaito instead found Shinichi, where they actively engaged in a conversation without being rude to each other, enjoying the conversation until Shinichi, still a bit sleep deprived from the early leave in the morning to get on time on the scene for the garden setting, dozes off against the tree (kaito is staring and you can't blame him, for someone like Shinichi who often makes cold expressions (often not intenionally, he's just thinking or deducing) or sometimes sneering, its fascinating to see him asleep, face's now set in soft lines. Now if you want it more cliche, Shinichi grumbles and squirms until he finally found the comfortable position, only this position is leaning against Kaito with his head on his shoulder's. (Kaito is screaming inside from how cute and adorable Shinichi is in his sleep)

Pool date

-Shinichi thanks his lucky stars that he doesn't have to take an outfit from a mannequin or coordinate an outfit (often asking his fellow candidates for help to avoid getting criticised) he just grabs a hoodie and swim trunks, taking a book with him and sunglasses. (Going to the pool to read a book.....) Kaito would get accosted by the candidates in the pool while Shinichi is just in the shade (reclining chair, juice in hand, lemon tea, not too sweet with ice and a straw) with a few candidates who prefer to not get wet or doesn't know how to swim. (In ELO route, Kaito would scoff at Shinichi and think how haughty he is, just like any detective he met except tantei-kun)

Shinichi would actually get to bond here with one of the candidates who can't swim (a timid shorter girl who is a seamstress with dark brown hair and wide brown eyes that seemed to dislike him) she initially thought Shinichi was a rude and haughty person (shes a Kaito Kuroba fan) but after getting to know him, she starts to see that he's a pretty nice guy. Shinichi, after talking with her, takes it upon himself to at least help her and teach her how to swim. He gets up from his spot as they both walk to a corner of the pool (the kiddies part or the shallow part) where Shinichi taught her how to swim and float, the very basics to which Kaito interferes in the lesson.

In ELO route, Kaito would interfere in slight disdain that Shinichi might be trying to woo a girl while in a reality show where it's Kaito who is supposed to be courted (wow possessive much?) but found out when he stayed there for a bit while Shinichi was teaching, he stared at Shinichi while Shinichi was getting unerved but resolved to ignore the stare as much as he can. The girl (Im naming her Mimeko) being taught just being 'Don't mind me, you can oggle him Sir as much as you want, thank you very much, he's all yours.' (she's also a Kuroba Kaito fan, she's also a closeted fujoshi while she's just discreetly watching) that he was just being helpful. Kaito gets curious then and stays there for a bit while he also joins in teaching Mimeko-chan about swimming. He thinks that Shinichi is also pretty cool (and sexy, especially when he moves that sunglasses of his head while in the pool, all wet from swimming as he smirks. And never forget adorable, when he beams and smiles when the girl gets the technique he showed right)

In the non-ELO route, Kaito gets jealous of the girl being taught by Shinichi. He subtly signaled to Mimeko-chan that 'he's mine' by volunteering himself to be used as example in swimming or Shinichi is showing an example of it (like kicking his legs while doing the strokes where he asked kaito to hold him while he demonstrated it, Kaito doors as he's told but does it more suggestively, holding his hips instead of his waist while glaring at the girl. Suffice enough she gets the message and also mouthed "need help?" (she's having the time of her life helping her idol and these are two hot men, who wouldnt?) Kaito looks at her and was about to jerk his head in agreement when Shinichi comes up for air and looks back to the girl saying "That's how you do it, did you get it?" Mimeko hastily nods as Kaito smiles innocently at Shinichi, suffice to say that Mimeko did not get Kaito's examples of swimming and only got it right when Shinichi does it (Kaito got a hold on a lot of places that day, mostly Shinichi's waist, hips and chest, ELO route be missing out here)

The Infamous Sherlock Holmes vs Arsène Lupin Fight (almost exclusively for ELO route)

-One fine late morning (cause Shinichi ain't functioning at early morning) Shinichi and Kaito butt heads about the discussion on which is better, Sherlock or Lupin? (This scene would be earlier than most I've written here as I didn't actually write the scenes in chronological order, just when they came in my mind) Shinichi would be trying to find something he can use to make Kaito displeased with him and finding out about him liking Lupin was a good start in getting disqualified. He started the conversation regarding Lupin then said he doesn't like Lupin. Kaito then would ask him what he likes then Shinichi would reply "Sherlock Holmes, of course" then give a throw away comment that Sherlock could capture Lupin and that Lupin is just a thief, he doesn't get the allure of the criminal. (Shinichi just wanted Kaito to dislike him, he was not prepared for what comes next) Kaito takes offense and says "All you detective's are the same! Lupin is a gentleman thief, he can outwit your Sherlock!" Then Shinichi takes offense then starts the fight between two Sherlock Holmes fan and Arsène Lupin fan, from a civil discussion to a verbal dogfight until inevitably Kaito insults Shinichi as a detective and Shinichi insults Kaito as a magician. This is the start of the ELO route. (If you wannt to include this in a non-ELO route then both would still come away from this with Kaito being slightly infuriated and want to kiss him senseless to shut him up, with Shinichi being annoyed with Kaito)

[clowningaroundmars]

punkflower hcs bc i need to see more of them being cute teen boys together.... like, playful and creative and stuff

looong long wall of text under the cut (no nsfw)

♡ miles and hobie definitely exchange art often, even collabing on some punk zines and graffiti pieces occasionally. hobie also makes mixtapes on cassettes and slaps a million stickers on them just for his bf. miles appreciates the kind gesture but reminds hobie that he doesnt have a cassette player. "yet," hobie tells him with a wink :)

♡ miles draws a million little doodles for hobie on scrap paper, post it notes, hobie's gear, hobie himself. ofc hobie loves them all, esp when he gets to go home with his arms and chest covered in stars, cartoons, graffiti, and hearts

♡ miles is a lot more shy about dancing in public than hobie is, but whenever they manage to have any downtime at all hobie will wrap his arms around miles and sway them around. if music is playing anywhere, hobie will bop to it and get miles to join in

♡ hobie's love language? touch. any kind, anytime, anywhere, for any reason. words of affirmation come next

♡ miles' love language? quality time, and he's big on kissing. hobie isnt much of a kisser but loves his sunflower just the same, and does not complain at all when miles places little kisses on his hands, ears or his back

♡ sometimes hobie will be a lil mean to miles just as a flirty thing. just usual teenage boy stuff like kicking miles' sneakers, manspreading to get into his space if they're sitting anywhere together, using his height to bully miles into a corner away from everyone so they can flirt some more, crashing into miles on purpose just to be annoying

♡ anytime they get to go on multiverse missions together they somehow manage to get into the craziest shenanigans. breaking into a zoo to stop a villain from mutating the animals, saving a group of schoolkids on a field trip from a killer robot (?), one time hobie even drove a runaway car to stop it from crashing right into jamaica bay and miles was scarred for life

hobie tries to control the car as he haphazardly swerves it around pedestrians and barely manages to miss a group of elderly people.

miles clings onto his seat for dear life. "HOBIE!! you're gonna kill us man, where'd you get your license from!?" he yells.

hobie scoffs. "license?! i said i could drive, mate, i aint mention nuthin' 'bout no license!"

♡ hobie's universe is set in the 1970's and living in a dystopian police-state means it's too risky to bring back a phone with him, so he's often left out of spiderkid groupchats. miles still tries to keep him up to date on the latest memes and inside jokes though. they also have their own inside jokes too

♡ hobie wouldn't bring a smartphone with him anyways since he's so mistrusting of tech in general. video games, laptops, and "smart" tech mystify him, and smart watches? forget about it. when miles gets one for christmas one time, hobie clowned on his bf so hard the watch was never seen again

♡ that being said, they love exchanging music often so the only piece of technology hobie ever brings back to his dimension is an ancient half-busted ipod (it was probably rio's at one point) filled with music miles managed to download for him that week. spiderman-ing and living as a homeless teen means hobie doesn't get much time to explore genres outside of the UK punk scene and listening to brand new genres is often a trip! hobie finds out he loves drum n bass, grindcore, industrial techno, UK drill, deep house and 90's hip hop

♡ hobie gets miles to make him cool posters for whatever venue he plans on (or doesnt plan lbr) playing at every now and then

♡ rio LOVES hobie. hobie is the perfect gentleman (gentlespider?) around her and often tries to help her around the house when he can. miles... does not enjoy how much his mom favors his partner. jeff is also not so crazy about this smart-mouthed punk

♡ miles and hobie absolutely swap clothing as often as possible, with hobie "borrowing" miles' clothes more often. miles' parents keep commenting on how much of a rockero he looks with all the punk stuff and hobie never returns clothes without having altered them in some way (pins n bits everywhere, a mysterious rip or two here n there, pinned-up sleeves, etc)

♡ miles is absolutely horrible at cooking and feels left out when he sees hobie helping his mom in the kitchen. he desperately tries to learn, but it's a wonder how he hasnt sliced his fingers off yet trying to peel and cut platanos so they can make tostones

♡ for a person who's built like a lamppost, hobie is shockingly graceful with his movements. he always slips around a room like a cat and miles is so jealous of that. long gangly limbs should be a deterrent from moving like That and yet here he is, practically pirouetting around miles for fun

♡ which is a total TRIP when they go out swinging around a city. once the mask is on, every movement hobie makes is chaotic, frantic and unpredictable. spiderpunk and hobie are very different people sometimes

♡ rio often points out hobie's thinness as a typical hispanic mom does ("jóven, pero tu 'ta tan flaco, hobie honey come eat! i have leftovers here!") and miles also agrees that hobie could eat a lil more too. he is always sneaking bits of food into hobie's pockets or bags, saving fries and last slices for his partner. sometimes hobie brings home armfuls of tupperware filled with caribbean food back to his boat

♡ in return, hobie is like a magpie and brings back shiny gifts for them, some handmade stuff too. miles' drawers and nightstand are filled with jewelry, bottles, knickknacks, and other handmade accessories. his walls are filled with collages and zines hobie makes for him and rio bought frames for some of the pieces he makes her

♡ the first person to say "i love you" was miles, but by accident. after realizing it, he was nervous as hell worrying that hobie would clown him to death since he didnt seem like a big romantic. instead, hobie went nuts about it in his own hobie way, writing lyrics about miles' face when he said it, doodling them together more often, teasing miles about it often but lightheartedly. he flaunts miles' love whenever he can

♡ miles has a lethal puppydog face and he KNOWS it! one 🥺 look and hobie immediately folds and gives miles whatever he wants. but not before hemming and hawing about it first, playing up his hesitation just to make miles laugh

♡ speaking of laughter, hobie does Thee Most just to see his bf laugh or smile. he will always goof off in the bg, crack jokes every 2 secs and pretend to get hurt sometimes. hobie is naturally sarcastic and goofs off in general anyways but around miles he dials it up to 200

♡ hobie tries to get miles in on the whole anarchism thing but 1. the texts and manifestos from his dimension are different than miles' and 2. miles is a teen boy. he doesn't know anything about the theory of alienation or effective mutual aid and won't really care at the moment. "mm, you'll learn all 'bout it soon enough, though... eventually," hobie muses

♡ miles is not as big on pet names as hobie is. hobie has like 24984 nicknames for miles but miles mostly sticks to just calling his partner by his name. one day during history class tho a lightbulb moment happens, and when they meet up again miles is excited

"hobie!! guess what, i really got it this time. i have a nickname that i know you're gonna love!"

"spill," hobie says as he throws an arm over miles' shoulders.

"so you always call me sunflower all the time, right? and your name is ho... bee. get it? so i was thinkin' i'm gonna call you 'honey bee' now. y'know, you're not the only one who's got corny ass nicknames! it's good, right?"

hobie has to fight not to grin like a jackass

♡ hobie's sleep schedule is atrocious so whenever miles can manage it, he tries to wrestle his partner into any bed and tucks him in. hobie is touched that his sunflower cares so much about him ♡

♡ miles almost never gets permission to sleep over other friends' houses but on the rare occasions he does, he leaps into portals and goes to visit hobie in his dimension. his fave part of New London is hobie's boat, bc they set up a big hammock for them to lay in, feeling the sway of the boat and letting it lull them to sleep. not to mention that the boat itself is totally badass, and hobie more often than not encourages miles to cover it in graffiti

♡ hobie lowkey (but highkey) loves when miles gets a little bossy, forceful or stern. he loves ribbing miles about it (the "ill do it, but not cuz you told me to" line in mumbattan was a total joke from hobie btw LOL) and saying corny shit in response to a demand, but he loves seeing miles being confident and calling the shots every once in a while. it makes him proud

♡ if they can, miles and hobie try to gather up as much food as they can and take it over to the F.E.A.S.T. that's in hobie's dimension. miles meets hobie's "family" there and gets to know the community, which feels so much more tight-knit and welcoming than Visions. once miles gets over the major jarring differences between his world and hobie's, he finds he LOVES New London

♡ miles and hobie teach each other slang from their countries and time periods, you can't change my mind. miles walks around saying shit like "bloody 'ell" and "septic" all the time. the one time hobie said "deadass" completely unironically, all of the spiderkids DIED laughing

♡ miles learns that EVERY spider is a total dweeb in some way shape or form. even hobie! hobie's awkwardness comes out when theyre in big groups of people. hobie is oddly comfy with performing in front of crowds but when he's invited to parties and tries mingling, it's so... sooo awkward. miles secretly rejoices when he finds out hobie's weakness

♡ i'm an adhd hobie truther and i hc that miles buys hobie the weirdest fidget toys he can get his hands on. along with his switchblade, jewelry, and whatever he stole that day, hobie carries various different fidget toys in his vest to keep boredom at bay

♡ hobie definitely writes songs for miles but takes a very very very long time to actually admit it. miles finally finds out when one of hobie's songwriting notebooks falls open when hanging out in his boat, and hobie comes clean about it. with miles' encouragement tho, hobie makes the decision to add some of those songs into the usual setlist his band performs

♡ if miles ever has time, he tries to attend whatever gig hobie and his band has going on. he loves to see hobie perform on stage, his energy and stage presence is always electrifying

[art-from-the-juice-box]

here’s my apotheosis stuff :]

[dizzybizz]

I need your Sampard headcanons, if you have none that’s cool ignore this ask, BUT IF YOU DO LEGALLY YOU HAVE TO SHARE THEM

anon- i don't think you know what you've signed up for with this ask

my headcanons are all incomprehensible to myself so o7

this is brain rot at its full saturation..........

gepard being honest to a fault and that flustering tf out of sampo..., , , , 🥺

like,, sampo will jokingly make a silly comment about gepard liking him and gepard will respond with something like "of course i do? why wouldn't i??"

it's a constant cycle: sampo joking -> gepard responding honestly -> sampo getting flustered -> it hits gepard after some confusion that it was in fact a joke -> and they're both useless and flustered together, absolute losers <3 -> repeat

anyone being genuine and nice to sampo would destroy him

he'd crumble

like- he'd collapse like a house of cards in a gust of wind

they're both touch starved and clingy but really awkward about it

"i need to cuddle so bad!! but i would sooner die than be the one to suggest it!!!!!!"

they get over it once they realize it's a mutual feeling

then it's just collapsing on eachother whenever

i kinda just want them to cry and have a breakdown together, cry and hug it out and just like talk

they both need a good cry,,, 🙏

gepard. yotasuke takahashi. just saying things that sound so romantic without so much as a glance at the other person,,, like:

sampo asks serval to please talk to her brother about thinking before speaking, she leaves him on read

idk what to tell you, they're just losers

they're that "relationships should be 50/50, he cooks us dinner and i sit on the kitchen counter and look pretty" post

sampo entering the kitchen: what's cookin', good-lookin'

sampo gets gepard one of those "kiss the cook" aprons

they're the kind of couple where they're seeing eachother through a shoujo romance lens but to outsiders they're just so unbelievably unbearable

can't flirt to save their lives.

i really just imagine them to be the biggest losers together, they're made for eachother, they're pathetic, they're disasters

them:

gepard runs cold!! sampo can't stand it!!!

who's the big spoon and little spoon? yes

pet names? pet names.

sampo uses them obnoxiously and calls gepard everything he can come up with

darling, babe, baby, sweetie, cutie pie, angel, my little captain, hotstuff, handsome, my one and only, knight in shining armor, prince,,, etc

gepard just defaults to calling him honey or something

gepard names one of his plants koski

sampo is very honored

but also so worried, considering gepard's track record with the lifespan of his plants

he makes it his mission to keep koski alive

sampo loves pulling on gepard's cheeks

[moonlight-prose]

gonna start transferring my logan drabbles/van helsing drabbles to ao3.

[lee-hakhyun]

before lhh can enter, the receptionist tells him to pick a mask. looking at them, they have the designs of the 12 zodiacs... lhh tries to pick the rat

turns out it's sold out. most of the masks are sold out actually, except for a blank mask which provides no benefits except for hiding your identity. picking that, lhh heads on in to the recycling center.

lhh is the last of a group of 12, most wearing blank masks except for a child in black wearing a rat mask. he ends up talking with wang weirong (flying fox) who is in the same group, and they agree to team up for the qualification scenario <- it's a race, where the last of the 12 incarnation gets kicked out of the recycling center. the rewards are shown, with 2nd place having 'the right arm of the poor sword master who was stabbed in the back by a colleague' (kdj...) and first place being... 'noble one's battle boots'. lhh is shocked at this. why is this item here..?

when the scenario starts, the boy with the rat mask starts gaining speed due to the story of the rat influencing him (the rat came first in the zodiac race: https://www.historicmysteries.com/myths-legends/chinese-zodiac/29205/ ) but is attacked by the other incarnations and beat up. since only one person loses in this scenario, the other incarnations picked the boy to gang up on. lhh goes up to the boy, and tells him to get on his back. the boy protests a little, and his way of speaking is rude.. but lhh says he's not doing this for the boy's sake. when the boy gets on lhh's back, a simple stage transformation begins. the incarnations knew about the rat being first, which is why they attacked him, but they failed to account for how the rat won: carried on the back of the ox.

lhh, carrying the boy, gradually overtook the other incarnations. he was still attacked by the other incarnations who used story fragments, but he manages to beat them as instead of a story fragment, he has a real story. at the end of the race, he tells the boy to go on ahead and take first place. as lhh has taken the role of the 'ox', he has to be 2nd or else he'd be hit by the aftermath of the simple stage transformation.

lhh gets the 2nd place reward, and as soon as he uses it, he hears a voice.

"good job, maknae."

the heir to the eternal name then declares it will eat the story fragment. lhh is shocked for a moment, but as it eats the story he gains 15 days on his death timer (he still has that..!!!) and instead of the story disappearing, his understanding is increased. right, htten's goal is one kim dokja, so of course he would keep kim dokja's skills.

flying fox, the only incarnation who didn't attack lhh during the race, came 3rd. flying fox asks if lhh is in a group with the little boy, and lhh says no, but soon. he goes over to the boy, who was staring at the battle boots. scenes go through his mind. throughout all the regressions, these boots had never left his side. lhh asks yoo joonghyuk how he's turned out like this. yjh says he doesn't know what lhh is talking about.

?

he remembers something then. the 'confinement of truth' was something that sealed memories in exchange for its use. no way...

the kid asks who yoo joonghyuk is. lhh pauses before he answers. he thinks about yoo joonghyuk of the 1863rd turn. his favourite yoo joonghyuk. he smiles as he answers: "a friend who loves dirt."

[partybarty]

Me at work today: They don't even know that the WBBL has started for the year.

[jojo-the-bird]

Me and my brother speak in a language without words, we speak in gestures and offers.

It is one we are both fluent in, one we both know well like the back of our hands.

Words don’t mean much for us.

Saying good morning and good night to each is something we both forget to say. 

Were as buying something from the store without the other mentioning about wanting something speaks volumes.

It means, I thought of you and it’s been a while since you asked me of something, so here, my memento to you.

But sometimes being fluent in one language is hard.

Having fights and bickering and arguing and teasing is one I’m unsure in.

We both have done tremendous amount of hurt to each other, but how am I supposed to carry on without you?

Who will punch me in the shoulder?

Who will say to me to do my chores?

Who will I go to school with?

Who will I complain to my parents?

Who will be my brother that I don’t already know?

It is like buying a piece of new furniture.

Sure the chair was old and I tripped over it a multitude of times but It didn’t mean that I didn’t grow fond of all its squeaking and rough patches.

The point is, who can ever be like you?

You are a one of a kind sibling and I don’t think I hate you as much as I make myself believe.

[seaofreverie]

I listened to a new Sparks album and it was all I could think about for two weeks straight afterwards, a.k.a. My Hello Young Lovers Review

Okay, so here's my fabled review (I mentioned having written it once about three months ago, so I guess there's a chance that someone still remembers that). It's hecking long (seriously, it's long.) and consists mostly of me pointing out specific sections of the songs and raving about which specific elements of the songs I particularly like. And also attempting to make some sort of general statement on the style / atmosphere / themes etc. of the whole thing. I wrote this back in november, after 5 full listens of the album, over the course of about a week, and I didn't update it with any new opinions that I have formed since, to keep it true to that original form, besides some side notes where I thought they'd be useful to add. I hope you enjoy my yapping, however unprofessional and all over the place this whole thing probably is.

How to start album reviews? Well, I could sum up the general vibe / thing / feel / theme with the album but that seems much more fitting for the conclusion of the whole thing.

So let's kick this off with the first thing we see instead!! The album cover, the sleeve! (note: I got this album on vinyl for that first listening experience, the 2022? reissue) Ohh so pretty and cute, isn't it? Even inside, so much pink, even over-the-toply-so (for real though, I didn't even really think about what to expect from the inner cover, besides some photos that I knew would be there, but it was certainly not THIS. level of pink and cute), it looks so pleasant and sweet, doesn't it? And the band photos too, fun times all around!

Oh wow, ok, let's get back to reality here, I knew what I was in for (knowing just one track and excerpts of other two + reading misc comments on the album before already, as it is inevitable, you know. And frankly, that was actually the exact right amount of info from that commentary for a peak enjoyment here. Not going in totally blind but still encountering many surprises). This is a prime and, imo, very well executed example of mood dissonance. In a way where, idk, maybe it comes from me still having this even small amount of info beforehand, but it's the kind of situation that you can actually tell that something is off.

So yeah, the visual aspect of the album does fit it and I'd even say it does so VERY well, but as to how and why, maybe I should start exploring the atmosphere and themes and elements of individual songs first so we can make more general conclusions from that! So yes, I think it's time to dive in!

1) Dick Around ▪︎

Shortly put, amazing, showstopping and life changing song. And one of the earliest ones for me too! As a part of the extremely important and memorable playlist (note: my first time hearing a bunch of random popular sparks songs), it appeared somewhere in the latter half on the mix and oooh boy, was hearing this song for the first time, on the road in the dark evening too, an experience. I certainly found it intriguing to say the least, maybe I wasn't yet completely SOLD you know, and let's not forget that the second time I heard it (july) it actually kind of freaked me out in a way, but still, it certainly made an impression immediately. There's a reason this is one of the more well known / popular / important songs of theirs overall. This song is truly a journey and it messes with you in so many ways, oooohhh so many ways. I was super looking forward to hearing it again properly after being teased with some parts of it in the more recent weeks, so ok, maybe this is where I get to the individual parts I want to talk about.

Actually wait, first let's maybe say something about the placement. Of course it's the first song as I was pretty much certain it would be (and maybe already had kind of possibly spoiled..?), and it does work incredibly well as a mood-setter for the rest of the album, so it truly couldn't work any other way in my view. So yes, speaking of parts, there are so many different ones! Hearing this again was extra fun also because I would remember the main "point" / mantra of the song ("all I do now... is dick around") but not much else, then be reminded of another notable but very different part, then listen after this whole time properly on pretty much repeat now and be aware of those other little touches and bits that bring it all together...

So, let's start with the pleasant vocals & piano break near the beginning, it's, well... I just really like it (I hope I'll be able to say more specific things about other elements in these songs that I think need to be mentioned as I go on LOL), and right after that we have some very nice strings, then, suspenseful strings!! Idk why but I really really like it when those come in, they really set the unnerving classical tone that follows and returns throughout the album, then the same "calm" / bouncy vocal melody and a more "all over the place" piano returns (at least from what I remember, the notes are sort of more expansive in range in this part I think...). And soon enough... we reach the real moment of the song when it gets, well, real. And very intense. And this is almost jumpscare-like, ohhhh it's so good, even when you know you can expect it it still hits the spot amazingly.

So this is the rocking part that's honestly pure distilled joy and amazement to hear for me each time, the repeated echoey "hey hey"s for a second there are just the icing on the cake, so so so good. And, in fact, it doesn't get more rocking than this for the rest of the album. Dissappointing? Maybe it WOULD be, if there weren't other things still going on later, which were also in their own ways showstopping, so I think that yeah, those can make up for all that follows not really coming close to this level of unhinged. And this is the right word here I think, unhinged!! Damn, this freaking song. Like for a second there I remembered that in one of my early-ish hearings I just found it almost uhhh, unbearably raw? Idk if it's the right word but yeah, it gets... ugly for a second (I need to stop cringing at every more unusual / to the point word I use or I won't be able to write any genuine reviews in my life). Before going back to the main mantra of course! And then it goes on in a circle a bit more again, with more changes and some progression of the story and all that. And end on the mantra again. I don't know if I'm leaving out any super important bits here, I might be... Well, it comes back to full on rocking near the end too, with some variation too, so that's awesome! And very suspenseful and unnerving strings too for a moment!

So, should I talk about the lyrics / the story just a bit now? Ok, I won't go super deep into these or any of the following ones, I'll try to focus more on specific bits and the feelings that come with them and a general "theme" if anything. So, I think this song and its story is very engaging and I like it a lot and it certainly provokes further thoughts and ponderings, those 6 and a half minutes fly by super fast (guess that's just the power with sparks and their long songs, it's kind of incredible how maybe this goes ESPECIALLY for songs that rely a LOT on repetition, because those might work this trend the best), lots of variation, while still keeping some prominently repetitive / reoccurring parts balances it very well. You're really just thrown from one part to the next with this song. Ok, I wrote a lot about just one song and I feel like there's still more I could say if I thought about it hard, but let's move on now, we don't have all day (night)...

2) Perfume ▪︎

This is a favourite. An instant favourite. Right away this song grabbed me with its subdued, brooding and honestly pretty dark tone and sound. Low vocals, kind of ragged but driving guitar sound, and the DRUMS. They do SO much for this track, something about this specific drum pattern / style is very pleasant to me, very atmospheric. It's like a specific pattern that works to deliver some kind of effect (ok, I think through that, in a way, I just described the whole thing with repetition in sparks' music, especially in this era, nice, I guess that's how I view it and why it works so well) there's still a lot of interesting stuff going on there, plus it just sounds nice, idk. Once again, maybe "driving" is a good word for it. But now I need to mention that there is this one odd-one-out part that sounds much more cheerful, or maybe hopeful (and it returns again near the end). Because it has this specific thing, the different intonation of the SAME lyrics than the rest of the song ("and that's why...") feels strangely emotional. It certainly hit ME in the feels once I noticed it, so, yeah!!

So I think this is one of the darkest songs in mood and sound, while it also has something extremely COOL about its sound that I can't really categorize, I think I'm gonna feel like repeating this for every other song on the album but it just feels so CLASSIC, it's that typical song that always existed type of feel, yeah. But here it's less so due the melody necessarily, and more due to the whole picture. With some others it's also the song as a whole of course but they don't necessarily feel as much as a representation of a whole THING / genre / type of song / feeling in music of sorts (I'm really bad at articulating my exact views on these, am I not...) rather than those specific special moments that just bring it all to the next level. But OHHH I can't believe I almost forgot this, but the piano lines (I mean the post-chorus ones specifically) in this song, oh my goddddd!!!!!!! They're truly THE thing that sold me on this song completely, they're just so... something. So I guess this song also has that special "it" moment after all, doesn't it? Well, still possibly not quite as prominently as the next one, because...

3) The Very Next Fight ▪︎

Well, this is the kind of song that's completely made up of those specific parts making a very special whole. Starting with, of course, that melody line during the chorus "it's always the same. It's always the same". But maybe, just to be fair, I should actually start with where the song actually starts so, well, hmmm, the beginning. The very solemn piano and overall kind of heavy atmopshere here kind of slows down the momentum after the first two songs, and it delivers something quite different instead. So yeah, well, that chorus melody!! Oh wow!!! Isn't it so simple though? But it works so well!! It's simply beautiful honestly. It absolutely is! And later the electric guitar comes in for more effect and oh wow, it feels so incredible, yeah. And then some more solemnity with the... I think harpsichord?

This track feels very empty (as in the atmosphere, I'm not actually calling it empty as a bad thing or something like that, no no no!!) in some parts, then it has those emotionally charged bits, and let's not forget that it has some more really amazing guitarwork near the end. That kind of guitar "wailing" sounds beautiful in its own right too, it also kind of reminds me of some other rock-adjacent genre(s), I can't tell what exactly though...

4) (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country ▪︎

In all honesty, after my first listen I decided that this was probably the song I was the least impressed by? Kinda strange, yeah, because I no longer think that, and yeah, it was another one that I was only slightly familiar with already. Very slightly. It's a very interesting song once again, I think it's really unique after some thought actually (as are most all of the songs on this record tbh, obviously). It's unique, but it once again has this special classic quality to it that just feels like it represents a very specific type of sound.

I wanna say that the chord progression in the chorus might be some variation of one of the "usual" progressions although OF COURSE I might be very wrong here, it's just the feeling I get because maybe it's worth mentioning that 1) a while ago I started noticing this one type of progression in songs that made them sound very similar to Kiss Me, Son of God (They Might Be Giants song), so I figured it must mean that KMSOG is just in some kind of typical progression that is used a lot, especially in country-sounding songs from my experience 2) there was also an element of some classic rock / rock&roll (?) / punk (??) songs that also made them sound very alike after a while when I started listening to this one internet radio station recently, idk if it's the same progression or its variation or if all those songs use different variations mostly but are still based on a very similar thing at the end of the day, but yeah. I might still not understand chords or be able to catch them while listening, but there's now at least a little part of that whole section of music theory that I might be able to recognise in music just by myself, so that's some major music literacy development on my part I think... Anyway, maybe the progression in this song didn't even remind me of that usual pattern specifically, but it just made me think of that thing nevertheless, maybe it's similar, maybe it's not... So this was kind of an irrelevant tangent on my part, oops.

So ok, let's get to the jist of this... What exactly I like about this song and such, or just what I wanna mention. Well, I wanna mention that this is probably one of the more repetitive songs, also one of the longest I think, maybe the third longest, I wouldn't be surprised by that (the opener and closer are both pretty tough competition in the length department) but it doesn't feel monotonous, it flies by super fast, once again.

I think it's also possibly the brightest sounding song on the record, the word that immediately sprung to mind here is "triumphant". Certainly fitting with all those awesome horns!! They're truly what really sets this song apart. I'm especially a fan of the horns in the bridge part, I think it's the bridge. Sooo so cool sounding, kind of "descending". I also really like the layering of the different vocals and their melodies and such, the acoustic guitar also brings it all soooo nicely together, it's so pleasant sounding, especially in the quieter "baby, let's invade" part.

Idk what else to say, very awesome song though and I definitely don't mind listening to it twice (with the repeat as a bonus track, which I'll also get to briefly at the end) at all, in fact this might be the least "intrusive" song in a sense, so that makes the best choice for a repeat, if I had to choose, I could see myself going with this one, it's just very pleasant all around.

5) Rock, Rock, Rock ▪︎

So things get real once again, huh. This is one of the songs that I count in the category of kind of sick and twisted but in a way where I only respect them more for making it, so that puts it right next to, hmmmm, sherlock holmes for sure, maybe some others I can't think of right now. Big part of that factor is surely played by the repetition which just works, well, very well. Specifically the choruses.

One part of this song I was pleasantly reminded of on my first few listens were the short strings interludes, they really give it some of that pleasant classical feel (a separate thing from what i describe as classic feel here!) that I could say kind of contrast with the song and its atmosphere in general. Or maybe spruce it up, idk, we do have very dramatic strings during the verses too... The very deep drum sound is also pretty prominent in this track I think, pretty great.

As to some more notable parts in the vocals department... Let's just say that the way Russell says some words is very, uhhhhhh, effective (i think this sounds more cursed than it should, but i mean exactly that, the delivery just really hits you... and other times it's kind of silly instead). And also, with that repetition and it creating something great in mind, there's the repeated "and since you put-" part near the end that's also really great. The repeated "I"s in the bridge I think also need a mention. It's like they know exactly what word / phrase to repeat, what amount of times, and in which part of the song for it to work the best, like the perfect placement and number.

I think this song also has a bit of a fake ending, so that's also something of note, especially when it's supposed to sound as dramatic as possible (at least that's the idea I get from it). And actually, oh, so does the previous song! I forgot that part even though it's even more noticeable / memorable in that song than it is here imo.

6) Metaphor •

Second half of the album starts off with something that's very elegant and all the while very pleasant and melodic, all of which makes it a very nice track, even in a more usual pop song sense. Some very cool piano to start things off, and the electric guitar accompaniment, which also enters pretty early on. And then we have that slightly more strange part, kind of like an early bridge, that honestly has a bit of a comical effect imo (with no disrespect intended!!)? As in, I find it kind of funny and silly personally. Yeah, the "who's up for a metaphor" part, especially when we get the repeated "don't don't"s and "we we"s, and, well, what follows is what's definitely the greatest part(s) of the song, when Russell enters his falsetto mode and we get the "aaaaa-ªªªªª..." etc. backup vocals in choruses. Those are the moments of the song that are just, well, ONCE again that classic factor that makes the melody & everything else super special. But more specifically, I think those parts are just kind of beautiful. Yeah, I'd say this song is the prettiest in sound that this album gets overall. Truly wonderful and gets you excited for the remaining songs.

Meanwhile, the spellings of dig as d-i-g might feel kind of random I guess? But it works. Adds variety or whatever (note: it's also a very good moment of a rhythm change I believe, I think now that's what makes it sound as cool and satisfying as it does). So yeah, kind of a heavenly song I think, in a sense, also one of my top faves just for that factor (note: this song is now probably my favourite on HYL, and also among my top fav Sparks songs overall. It wasn't instant, but it grew on me quickly and oh man, I truly love this song so much now)

7) Waterproof •

I think this is kind of an odd-one-out actually? And why? I think it's probably the closest on the album to being sort of a fully, or at least MOSTLY, "normal" song. It doesn't have so many parts that are just downright weird and unexpected I'd say, it's just kind of friendly instead compared to the other ones (note: it took me perhaps too long to realize that this song just doesn't have quite as much repetition, which most other songs here rely on heavily, so that's definitely what makes it stand out the most). Not that it's an entirely bad thing! Sometimes you gotta slow down and relax a bit I guess...

I do appreciate the kind of sudden switch with the "the sky is starting to cloud up" part, and the little orchestral bit right after the first time the aforementioned switch happens (the second? or generally some later time it happens again there are also some very awesome horns! Really starts feeling like a quaint rainy street in some french town or something...) when, well, I was going to say that the vocals and the strings do the same melody, but they actually don't, at least not fully, still though, I did have that illusion before I made sure it wasn't the case with another relisten, either way, when it DOES happen, and Sparks do that a whole lot I feel like, it's always quite awesome, I mean, syncing the vocal melody with some other prominent intrument's melody...

The I think harpsichord also makes a return, yay! And then there's the guitar part, that does have some real surprise factor when it comes in, but this time for sort of the opposite reason - it sounds bright and nice this time around, and also it reminds me of Sparks' later style tbh, specifically in their following more rock-centric songs of course. And I think that's very nice, we see the always progressing evolution of their sound here I think. That guitar bit also has some album closer vibes, that kind of fake closer (or nearly-closer) situation kind of reminds me of a similar thing I experienced with Bon Voyage on Propaganda for example (note: I have since learned that Bon Voyage IS the closer on Propaganda, and the following two songs on streaming are just b-sides. So it makes sense that it would sound like an album closer because it IS one).

Annnddd the last thing that I just can't forget about here is Russell's another epic falsetto moment (waterwatereverywherebutnotadroponme!~) that part actually makes me smile. Yeah. Legit. I paid attention and I did smile on that part during my relisten today. ... Ok, let's go on.

8) Here Kitty •

When this song came on the first time during my vinyl listening I of course instantly knew exactly which song it was (bcs I've heard the title before, and a few words on it too) and had this little amused "oh no" moment. And, well, turns out this song is actually very awesome and veeeery interesting! It adds something really unique to the album. I saw someone call it quite impressive in the vocals / vocal lines layering department recently (in the last week, so already after hearing it myself I'm pretty sure) and I absolutely agree.

First off, let's settle that - this is a very strange song. But that's exactly what makes it so good of course. The strangeness keeps you so distracted from this fact, that when we reach the bridge of the song you suddenly realize that beneath all the "tatata"s, meows and unsettling rising piano notes we have the very much usual song structure with verses and choruses. Yeah, I think I actually sort of figured it out, what might be the verse, and what might be the chorus... Speaking of which, the parts that I identified as choruses have this, well, it's the same thing all over again (but each time the specialness comes from a different place and is totally different of course), but that very classic feel, indicative of maybe even some specific genre but idk what exactly...

Besides that, well, maybe let's go back to my oh no moment for a minute, and let me say that I either am very illiterate in that sense (and yeah I am tbh) or the lyrics aren't as overtly, let's say, innuendo-filled? as I expected. They actually have a semblance of a story you know... I mean, NO, not even a semblance, it IS a story! Let me also say that this is a very interesting song to have stuck in your head a lot over the course of pretty much an entire week. Yes, it got to the point where it could be annoying. One last bit of the song I really like is at the very end, when one vocal line starts to sound kind of echoey / distant, nice touch.

9) There's No Such Thing as Aliens •

The song that first cemented itself as being by far the shortest song on the album, sort of an interlude before the incoming epicness of the last one (that was quite literally my very first impression before I even heard either, looking at the vinyl this one was visibly much shorter than the last, and of course I expected the last one to be fittingly grand, and so it was obviously, but we'll get to that in a minute). The funny thing is, it's not even that short, as I figured even before eventually making sure how long it was in fact, and that's almost 3 minutes, which, well, of course that's still something around well over two times shorter than the last song.

But enough about its length, this song actually does kind of work as an interlude thematically too, which it is? it sort of even feels like it doesn't quite fit with the themes of the other ones, I mean, maybe not that it doesn't fit but just that it's defintely the furthest removed from the much more similar topics of the other ones (more about that also later!). Plus it's pretty sparse lyrically, once again, there's less you can fit in under 3 minutes anyway. Which supports the interlude argument also I believe.

Anyway, the music. First of all, waltz time!! Always a treat in sparksland to have that rare spooky 3/4 time track. The feeling I get from this track is: grand, very orchestral, anddd, hmmmm, elegant. But is it more elegant than the rest of the album... Idk, I wanted to use 3 different descriptors. I honestly don't think there's much more to say about this one, it's great, the melody is really great, the grandiosity of the choruses, the even more notable waltz time during verses. I think that yeah, I could pick this track as the most orchestral / classical inspired of the album. One cool moment I'll mention though would be the very ending, with the repeated "no"s going for longer than you'd expect them to maybe, and the deep drum accompanying all that. Very grand ending.

10) As I Sit Down to Play the Organ at the Notre Dame Cathedral •

Well, how do I even start on this one. I think I can say that with literally each single listen I become more and more in awe of this song. Could I even call it even more of a journey than the opener? In a sense, yeah. There's so much going on here. So much that I almost feel like breaking it down into individual parts and giving all of them their due because they all work for the amazingness of the whole. In fact, I might even already have this track roughly memorized (all... 7 minutes of this track) so it could be done. But ok, I'll just go with each part as I remember it, we'll see if I in fact do go over nearly all or all of them.

So. Echoey synth (?) intro, then the first melody part, with the individual words repeated, kind of "urgent" vocals part, very nice rhythm and something I just find very cool. As it progresses we get another part of just the synth / electric guitar-like synth / guitar or whatever this thing is, then a mix of both + this clicky instrument and / OR is it the harpsichord again? Giving it all more urgency and a nice constant rhythm. I also really like when the "byebyebye" vocal gets looped before the synth reenters. Overall, this part of the song has a very electronic, drony feel that I greatly enjoy and find very atmospheric and immersive already.

But, well, it doesn't end here. Because later, everything else stops and we hear a church organ. Even the melody it enters with is very much like something you'd hear in a cathedral, indeed! Good environmental storytelling, isn't it? But then... the organ transitions into this very very cool frantic melody (and by very very cool I mean that it's probably the #1 thing that stood out to me about this song right from the start) which returns consistently throughout the song and is just oh so very awesome.

So we enter the next part, what could probably be called the central part "as I sit down to play the organ...", tension is rising, the organ is doing its thing in the back, then some "hallelujah"s and BOOM! The chorus? The "I've got faith" part of course. And with it some epic strings, and I don't think I can really say what exactly it is about this part that makes it SO FREAKING GOOD & ABSOLUTELY SHOWSTOPPING but it's easily in my top 3 moments on the album at least. Then it's followed by the slightly considerably calmer "she's here..." section and we go mostly full circle for now, more variations on the same parts. Some grandiose "lalala"s & epic drum action too. And then, the "I believe" sections which I cannot let myself neglect, mostly just on the basis of them being kind of sickening to me. You know, in the "why did they do this (said respectfully)" way.

Ok, did I really just talk about all of the individual parts, I guess so. But before I move on I have to mention the moment when the very first major part, the "bye-bye-bye my baby" part, makes a sudden comeback. It's honestly just so good and satisfying, when completely different sections switch and make unexpected (or maybe you actually DO expect them on some subconscious level, and that's what makes them work so well??) returns like this, if a song has that it's very likely it will become a top top favourite or at least have a very big effect on me. Or even HUGE effect, like here.

So yeah, the song does eventually end (I mean technically unbelievable somewhat, since it's so long, but have I actually mentioned yet that this track goes by about just as fast as the first one, because it sure does, you do not notice the time passing WHATSOEVER) on some more "hallelujah"s. And the album's over. Wooo boy.

Bonus tracks

Well, it's not really over yet if it's not the vinyl but the streaming version. We still have just two more bonus tracks, technically just one? So I'll go over both quickly now for completion's sake.

First we have "We Are the Clash" which is a pleasant song for sure, can work as kind of a denouement after the crazy journey of the previous track, so you're left on a little less of a mood unresolution and can become a little less unsettled after all of this going down... Idk.

But yeah, I actually have this impression veering on pretty strong conviction that this song is a cover actually. It could even be a cover of the band whose name is mentioned in the song, which would put this version in a extremely funny area of how far stylistically it might be from the hypothetical original, if it exists (what's up with all these bands and their "we are the [band name]" songs, there's so many). Of course I could also be very wrong about this so all I just wrote could turn out to be absolutely hilariously off target, still, a fun little attempt at guessing things and connecting ideas on my part, whatever the truth turns out to be (I will learn the truth... in due time. My experience tells me that when I'm still fully in initial unwell mode over an album it's difficult for me to read and retain any outside information / commentary on it. So no need to rush it, heh) (note: yeah I was right for once. I meannnn I guess it was obvious anyway but still, let me have this, I've been fooled by assuming that a cover was someone's original song way too many times so I'm happy to not be fooled for once).

So ok, the last last track. Baby baby can i invade your country is baaaaaack, not much to say but it's pretty much the same other than the lyrics, since well, it is the "alternate lyrics" version, not "alternate" version. I do think that it might be slightly longer than the final version though but it's also likely I'm misremembering.

Anyway, lyrics, all I can or feel the need to say is that they seem to be definitely way more to the point on what this song's actual topic is (not... invading... countries . I don't need to explain it here do I) so subtlety win for the final one I guess. Just so it is known, I have not read these two songs' lyrics unlike all the main album tracks'. But I think I caught enough to get the main idea from both, you know. I do think also that the final version's lyrics just kind of sound better, idk if it's the rhythm of the words or what but they do just have a nicer flow. So, improvement, probably, still very nice to know this version anyway of course. (note: yeah i have learned since that most of the final lyrics are the US national anthem. Makes sense that if any song were to have alternate lyrics it would be this one)

To round it all up...

I think there's still a lot that can be said about this album as a whole but how do I go about that. Well, I did mention earlier that I'd come back to a) the overall feel / atmosphere here b) the themes / stories and how they connect. So those shall work as a guide to my conclusions part of this whole review.

First off, I could even say a bit about the main vibe / sound here in reference to Lil' Beethoven! Since it really does work as a sequel, at least in sound, by all means. I described LB with stuff like... cold, distant, cathedral-like, what else was there.... Ok, I have more, lifted directly from my LB write-up. (note: finally listening to LB a month prior to this was enough of a big deal for me that I wrote down my live reactions to hearing the songs) Impersonal / detached. Alien. Spacious.

Do those apply here too? I think so, yeah! Pretty much all of these words also feel like pretty good descriptors here. But honestly, the more I think about it.... Maybe it's just that the distance / the detachedness and alienated feeling is a bit lower here? Or at least in some songs more than the others. It's hard to explain honestly.... That similar atmosphere continues here but it's just..... not as pronounced maybe. Idk, maybe it will become clearer with this next point I wanna make which is that LB actually is less, uhhh friendly in sound. Less accessible! Yeah, I do think that this album could be seen as: LB started the experiment, HYL perfected it by taking it in a slightly more accessible direction. Or is perfected a wrong word here, who can say which was, or should be considered the better outcome here.... I think I actually have a problem putting concepts into the right words today. But maybe at least some of my feelings about this can still come across here...

So yeah, I don't think it's possible to tell if HYL is better or LB, it also depends on how you look at it! As it kind of always does when judging stuff per good / better. One thing that I can say sort of for sure though is that LB certainly started ideas / techniques that HYL expanded on and toyed with further, so in that sense, it could be considered an improvement. And so it is clear, I don't think I can say 100% that I like one more than the other. It's not that simple. I guess you could however say that HYL was more of an instant hitter and LB really just grows and grows more in power overtime....

So yeah, they kind of did take the LB concept and all of the avant-garde, experimentation factors that come with it, and made it more accessible, which is a form of art and an achievement and a testament of skill in itself. I think the somewhat friendlier, more palatable approach of this album also lifts off the coldness aspect a bit, but it's still there, especially on tracks 1, 3, 5, 10, off the top of my head.....

But maybe I should talk more about the album and its sound as it stands on its own before I move on though. Maybe we could jump from the words I already used: classic, orchestral, brooding, dramatic, dark, aggressive (yes, I somehow see it as friendlier than its predecessor despite also being much more aggresive in all senses. Raw even. How does that work? I can't tell you today. And idk if I'll ever figure it out. And also personal, YES, that's the word, this album feels soooo very personal and emotive. Not in the sense that I'm trying to say that it must be personal to them, more like it just shows some very personal feelings and struggles), triumphant (but that goes only for that one song really), driving, ELEGANT. I think the word elegant is the key here. In all of its subtler or less subtle tone shifts it keeps that very elegant, kind of graceful feel, all throughout. Even when it seems to be touching subjects that wouldn't necessarily bring that kind of atmosphere to mind, it kind of elevates them and gives them, idk, a new meaning?

So is this a good segue into the topic of themes? I guess the album name sits well with what I think is going on here, because my main impression of the whole thing was something like.... stories of fucked-up guys with self-image problems / feelings of inadequacy, which they try to go around fully convinced that they're right (and their messy love-lives too ofc). Or are they just, normal, regular guys actually. Who can tell. It certainly gives you an idea / a whole concept to work with and ponder here and to connect and visualize kinda.

I think that yeah, out of what I've heard so far this has to be the most thematically-consistent sparks album there is. It comes to a point where all the songs give this little impression of a whole universe where all of this takes place, and while I've had these kind of impressions from albums that are way more all-over-the-place conceptually with their lyrics (I mean like.... pretty much every They Might Be Giants album. You can create this sort of illusion with more than words, the music and its atmosphere and often also its stylistic consistency might be even more important actually), this comes, in my mind, almost close to concept album levels in that regard.

The definition of a concept album probably calls for something more specific than all the tracks being in sort of a similar theme but you know.... I don't think it really happens most of the time in music in general, that the whole album has this sort of a familiar idea / spirit throughout that makes a unique whole. (note: apparently wikipedia calls this album a concept album. Another win for me in that case, lol). You could probably try to connect different songs' themes and work with that in some way.... Which is something I already did in all honesty, but actually it's a between albums thing here, because I do believe that the dick around guy could be the same guy that the narrator from ugly guys with beautiful girls talks about. Similar ideas you can connect! That's what I'm talking about. I love it when songs tell overarching stories.... Make me think about characters from songs or little universes and vibes created by even the vaguest of lyrics and the ideas those create and the imaginings they bring, any day.

Ok, what else can I say. I think I mostly covered everything I could actually. Should I say something more about the cover with the added context now. I already said that it gives off a "something's wrong" feeling, but I think it's also compelling in how it conveys that elegant, non-threatening and polished image, sterile kinda. Well, I think only one of those four words I just chose doesn't really apply to most of this album's songs. I mean non-threatening ofc. Hmmm, maybe sterile doesn't really work here either, besides those prominent examples of the coldness of sound on this album, it would actually go more with LB, which also has a fittingly minimalist, all-white cover. Collected and orderly to a distressing degree. Just like here, it also gives off some.... distressing vibe. As I already said with the "this isn't right" feel.

What else can I say. In reviews you usually give your opinions, which I very much did throughout this thing here, everything like this is always somewhat subjective I think, but even then, a final verdict could also be said here. I think it's pretty damn clear by now what my opinion on this album is. I wouldn't spend several days writing a review and analysing every little detail if I didn't have a very strong (positive) opinion on this album (I guess I technically can imagine writing a very throughout review of something that just annoys you so much that you simply have to go through everything wrong with it and have some relief and closure through that. I can't see myself doing that kinda thing however, I'm not that kind of hater (or really a hater at all lol, i hope), I'd rather devote my time to things that I find actually cool and awesome and stand-outs in a positive sense, and worthy of attention and that dedication).

So this comment I fittingly found on tumblr over the last few days feels pretty relevant towards my opinion of writing "reviews" of stuff (this was more of a, very detailed analysis I know, but review just kind of fits, especially with how people call their recaps / commentary / writeups of concerts "reviews" a lot of the time):

(note: yeah I think I should come clean here that despite my very recent start of actual social media participation I've already been a serial lurker in various places for years now, lol, I mean, that's probably a normal thing to do though, I hope. I mean, probably lots of people do or did that at some point, but still. And I don't know whose post this is anymore sadly. But I thought I'd keep it here because it's a good summary)

And also, just for the record, this is my opinion on HYL pretty much. Yaaaayyy i loved it i had so much fun!! For real. i'm glad they're creating something!!!! Absolutely. One of a kind album that I will cherish as yet another great and unforgettable entry on the list of albums that changed me (TM) and brought me lots of fun and great memories / associations, even in such a short time. And the actual FIRST on the new list of albums that I'm happy to have brough the utmost attention to and dissected like that. It's out of love.

Thank you for reading this far! Here's a little bunny as a prize!

Whoa whoops this gif was supposed to be small! Have a huge bunny in that case, you deserve it! 🐇