#i wrote most of said paper on the day of the deadline and handed it in with 20 min to spare lol

[silver-words-and-inky-secrets]

3, 8, 16 for fandom asks!

ahh, sorry I took ages to answer this, I had a paper to write for uni and was so stressed that I completely this was in my inbox : /

3: a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

I have two in fact! One is the Piper, because when I first read the books, I did not really care for him one way or another, but the fandom convinced me very fast that he is really cool actually! Minstrel, arsonist, herald... Who does it like him?

The other one is Dustfinger, haha. He used to be just... kinda there I guess? It's not that I disliked him or anything, but I just wasn't interested. And like, with how much many people love him, there was no way I would not come across interesting discussions about him that made me revise my opinion! He's neat! He's conflicted and he fucks up and he loves his wife! One of the guys of all time^^

(Big shout out to all of you! You make my whole experience of these books so much richer! Keep being awesome<3)

8: you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

The books in general : P

16: a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

The fact that Basta tried to curse Mortola more than once, and the fact that Farid will see a half-feral animal (Gwin, that one stray cat), decide its friendshaped, and pet it^^

[harmonyrae]

Devil in the Mirror

I could not sleep until I wrote this... Don't usually write for Raf, but his Abysswalker fit & vibe absolutely ruins me. So... enjoy!

Synopsis: Abysswalker inspired Assassin Rafayel works non-stop. A contract unaliver and artist, who knew he'd be so damn busy. A big job is around the corner, but tonight, he's relaxing. He didn't intend on meeting the most gorgeous girl and getting swept away in the heat of the moment. But there's an unforeseen complication...

Warnings: Mentions of violence, death & explicit sexual descriptions. 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 4.9k

Playlist: RUNRUNRUN - Dutch Melrose Heaven and Back - Chase Atlantic I wanna be your slave - Maneskin The Death of Peace of Mind - Bad Omens Swim - Chase Atlantic Bed Chem - Sabrina Carpenter

The water finally turns pink as the blood rinses off your skin. You grab the small brush from your kit on the counter and start brushing it over your fingertips. The blood underneath splatters against the porcelain. You finally reach for the soap to do a final wash before taking a paper towel from your kit and drying your hands. 

You carefully undo the clasps of your mask and wipe it off haphazardly before tossing it in the duffel bag by your feet. You inspect your face, a few specks of blood frame your eyes. As you run a hand through your hair you feel a clot catch on your fingers. 

“Damn… he actually got me?” 

You grab a large plastic tarp, placing it on the shower floor before turning on the water. Unbuckling your leather vest you glance into your kit to see a small suture pack. You place it on the counter before placing the vest in the large trash bag already holding your gloves and overcoat. The skin around your ribs is already starting to bruise, but at least the gash across your chest has stopped bleeding. 

As you unbutton your pants, you hear a faint buzz from your room. You slip the blood coated pants off and into the bag. Right before you slip off your underwear you hear your ringtone. Specifically, your “work” ringtone. 

Run, baby, run, run for your life I'ma tear out your heart, it'll always be mine

You know exactly who it is and you know he’ll give you an earful if you don’t pick up and give him an update. You stroll into your room, the mini-fridge already rummaged through, bottles scattered on the TV stand. The hotel is paid for by your client, fuck yes you’re going to rack up the bill. After this job you needed a little buzz to settle down. You grab your phone before stepping up to the window looking down over the busy city. Linkon this time of day was always a shit show and you loved watching the chaos. 

Father, please, she’s perfect in your design

You chuckle, you’ve made him wait long enough. You swipe to answer.

“Thomas, mah boy.” 

“Took you long enough Raf. Do you have an update?” His voice strained, like always. One day you’ll ask him why he took this job to begin with. Until then, you’re glad he has stuck around.

“It’s all good. Easy. Bit messier than I intended. Guy was massive! You could have given me a heads up!”

“I DID! You never read the briefings… Did you need a clean up crew? Or a doctor?” 

“Nah, I handled it. And I’ve gotten pretty good at patching myself up. I’ll be back at the house tomorrow.”

“Actually…” 

“You’re kidding… Thomas…” You whine knowing another job is coming your way. Right before your event. 

“The client is offering a huge payout and said they’d consider contracting you permanently if you pull this off.” 

“Puh-lease if I pull this off? Are they joking? They know my work, right?”

“They do. I mean, they called the best in the business, didn’t they?”

“Fair. Deadline?” 

“One week from accepting the job.”

“Target?”

“A hunter, top tier apparently.” 

“A hunter, huh? That’s new. Client solid?”

“Very. Big corporation. They even sent a down payment to try and persuade you. Check your account.”

“No need, I don’t care about the money.”

“Check your account Rafayel.”

You sigh dramatically before pulling the phone away from your ear. Clicking your banking app, it automatically logs you in and displays the balance. Holy shit. You don’t care about money. You have more than enough. Your art career is doing well and your… bonus job… is very lucrative. But this is crazy. 

“A down payment of 10 million?!” You shout into the phone.

“Told you. I can send you the details if you want to consider the job.” 

“Send them tomorrow. I need a break tonight. Go ahead and tell them I’ll take the job.” 

“Oh one more thing, they do have a clause for no completing the job. It’s… intense. Are you sure you don’t want to read the details first?”

“Nah, I always finish the job. Now please, I beg of you, don’t disturb me anymore tonight.”

“Wait! Rafayel, don't forget the art exhibit tomorrow night! Journalists are hounding me for interviews and I promised them you’d be there.” You are a literal assassin and Thomas handles your kill contracts and he still gets more stressed out about your art exhibits. This man is something else. 

“I know, I know. And why did you promise them?! You know I hate doing interviews!”

“Raf, please…” You know for a fact he is pouting. How dare he use your tactics against you.

“Fine. Good night Tommy.” You hear him huff before you hang up. He hates when you call him that. So you always do.

You toss your phone on the bed and grab the small bottle of Kraken Black Spiced Rum before heading to the shower. You open the bottle, flicking the cap off and taking a swig before pulling off your boxers to hop in the shower. Bright red water pools on the tarp as the stream hits the wound on your head.

“Fuck…” 

The pain settles in and you take another long swig in an attempt to numb the throbbing at the back of your head. You set the bottle on the small bench in the shower before grabbing the soap and scrubbing your body diligently. Once you’re satisfied and every tiny speck of blood is gone, you focus on the bloody mess on your head. The water has started to run pink, so most of the clotted blood has rinsed away. 

The gash is not too deep and there’s no glass in the wound. That asshole really wasted a perfectly good bottle of Brandy trying to stop you. Cute. After that, you made sure his end was some of your best work. Satisfying honestly. 

Once your head wound is rinsed out, you turn off the shower and grab the towel, tying it around your waist. You grab the Rum bottle before stepping out. You stare at yourself in the mirror as you take another sip. At least he didn’t slash your face, facial scars are sexy, but you still didn’t want one. At least not yet.

After disinfecting the wound you carefully place a few stitches, closing it. Holding a gauze pad over it to dry, you head back into the hotel room to pull out a pair of dark jeans and a loose fitting button up. Nothing fancy for tonight. You’d be working up a sweat and doing your best to get properly drunk. You don’t get many opportunities to slip into a club unnoticed so tonight you wanted to be very low-key - a foreign concept to you but still the goal.

You slip on a clean pair of boxers and the jeans, shrugging on the cream colored shirt leaving it unbuttoned as you head into the bathroom. You carefully roll up the tarp and place it in the plastic bag. You take your time cleaning up the bathroom counter. Tossing the bloody gauze and empty disinfectant bottle away, pouring an entire bottle of bleach in the sink and shower. 

Running a hand through your dusty purple hair, you take in your appearance. You look good. Not great, being so tired, but good. The pink in your eyes catches the light, helping hide the exhaustion with the bright contrast. You button your shirt, leaving most of your chest exposed. You roll up the sleeves to your elbows and secure your bracelets before slipping on your laceless boots. Your phone slips into your back pocket with your wallet and you’re off.

The walk to the club is about 10 minutes, perfect for people watching and admiring the night sky. The bright lights of the street lights drown out the moonlight. You shove your hands in your pockets and count the cars passing by. You round the final corner before seeing the club across the street. The neon pink and blue lights pulse along to the base you can feel under your feet. The line is long, very long. 

You jog across the street and lock eyes with the bouncer. He nods at you and unclasps the barrier rope to let you pass immediately. The grumbles of waiting patrons reach your ears and you giggle to yourself. After painting a mural for the club owner, you always get the VIP treatment. Immediate entry, free drinks, private booth. Perks of being famous. You hate to love it.

The bar is packed, but you nod at the bartender and she motions for loitering patrons to make room for you. You hop up on a stool as three men leave, thank god, you have some breathing room. You lean forward on your elbows and flash your brightest smile.

“Avery, looking gorgeous as usual!” 

“Ever the flatterer Raf. What can I get for you?” Avery leans on the bar towards you, inching closer and you catch her glancing at your mouth. You make out with a bartender one time and now your lips are her addiction. 

“My usual if you please, cutie.” 

“One Rum and Coke coming up.” Avery winks before swinging her raven hair over her shoulder and turns to start making your drink.

You glance around the club, noting the exits and counting the security guards. A lot more security tonight. Probably has something to do with the increased Wanderer activity. They’re not hunters, but most club goers won’t think that far ahead. Your eyes scan the dance floor, you recognize a few people. A few artists who come to every exhibit you host, a handful of club regulars who you’ve hung out with before and maybe one or two one-night-stands. Okay, cool, will be avoiding that side of the dance floor. 

The lights change with the song, shades of purple wash over the dance floor. A light passes over a dancer in the middle of the floor. Damn. 

She was always dealing with the devil She was always into taking those chances, yeah

A girl swaying to the music, her sparkling dress catching the light as she moves. You’ve seen movies like this and you half expect time to slow around you. Fuck, why does it feel like time is slowing… 

Avery sets your drink down in front of you and says something, but you can’t focus on anything other than her. You pick up your drink and take a sip, not taking your eyes off the girl. She locks fingers with her friend and they dance together. 

She’s high She lives in the sky Tonight, she’s satisfied

She flips her hair over her shoulder, her strapless dress showing off her stunning chest. No matter how many sips of your drink you take, your throat is dry. Setting down your drink, you clear your throat and rest your head on your hand. Not bothering to pretend you aren’t staring.

Rolling back her eyes But then, she starts to cry Everything is turning to black

She glances over to the bar and locks eyes with you. Fuck. You can’t look away. No backing down now Raf. She smiles and doesn’t look away. Shit. You smile back and rub your thumb across your lip - was that sexy? Jesus. You never get this flustered over a woman. Like ever. So what kind of spell did this woman put on you? She glances down at the floor before looking back up at you. Wait, is she looking at someone behind me? Oh god. You turn and look over your shoulder. The patrons behind you are all facing the other way. When you look back at her, she’s giggling, her hips still swaying to the music. Wow. You can’t help yourself, your eyes trail down over her body. Her toned arms and legs on full display, her short dress hugging her curves, her hair smooth as silk, a few strands sticking to her back from the sweat she’s built up from dancing. 

All in one night She just went to heaven and back

And then the best, and most terrifying, thing happens. She starts walking towards you. You immediately face forward and blink at least 100 times, surely. When you look back, she’s still walking towards you, a sexy smirk plastered to her face. You take another sip of your drink silently praying you don’t say something stupid or that your voice cracks. 

She slides onto the stool next to you. She keeps her eyes on you. Avery appears in your peripherals.

“What can I get you hun?” 

“I’ll have whatever he’s having.” For fucks sake, her voice is… beautiful. Sultry, soft, smooth. 

Avery turns and starts to prepare the drink. The woman leans her head on her hand, matching your position. Her smile turns wicked. She 100% can tell you’re nervous right now.

“So what’s your name, pretty boy?”

You shift in your seat, your blood is rushing directly to your cock. Goddamn. You need that blood for your upstairs brain. You chuckle trying to play it cool. 

“Rafayel. Or Raf, whatever you prefer, cutie.”

“Rafayel, nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” Your name on her lips… Yeah, you’re completely under her spell now.

“Likewise, Y/N.”

Avery sets down a Rum and Coke in front of her. She nods at Avery and picks up the drink bringing it to her lips. She takes a sip and pulls back, closing her eyes tightly. 

“Damn, that is strong. Is yours that strong?” 

You chuckle and slide your glass to her.

“You’re welcome to compare.” 

She doesn’t hesitate. She picks up your glass and takes a drink, her lipstick leaving a print on the glass. Her eyebrows raise as she looks at the glass. 

“Hmm… yours is balanced. Maybe the bartender was feeling generous with mine.” 

You glance over at Avery, her cheeks are definitely flushed. She sees the way you are looking at this woman and she is definitely staring at her. You sigh and return your gaze. 

“Generous is one word for it.”

“Jealous is another, yeah?” 

How? How? How is she in your head? You can’t help but laugh. She is spot on after all. Before you can think of how to respond, she has her hand on your knee. She squeezes gently.

“I don’t mind a little competition.” 

You are not going to survive. You don’t have a will written up. Who is going to get all your money? Thomas probably. He’s going to be so mad at you for missing the exhibit tomorrow. You aren’t even wearing designer brands, you’re going to die looking like this? It could be worse. You could be naked. Well, that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Rafayel?” 

Her voice brings you back to reality. Fuck. Real smooth Raf. Good work.

“Oh… aha… yeah, sorry. Competition, right. You don’t mind? You… So you like challenges?”

She giggles at your struggle to get the words out. She leans forward.

“I love a good challenge.” With that she grabs your hand.

“Woah, where are we going?” 

“To dance, pretty boy.” 

You follow her to the dance floor, she goes straight back to the center. Her grip on your hand tightening as more people start crowding around the DJ booth. The DJ drops another track and the lights start pulsing faster with the tempo. 

I wanna be your slave, I wanna be your master I wanna make your heartbeat run like rollercoasters

She finds an empty spot and turns towards you, she guides your hands to her hips before placing her hands over your shoulders. She pulls you closer as she clasps her hands behind your neck. She starts swaying her hips, letting her head bob to the beat.

I wanna be a good boy, I wanna be a gangster ‘Cause you could be the beauty and I could be the monster

You match her movements, your grip on her hips tighten as you pull her closer. The music fades into the background as you stare into her eyes. She giggles, her smile sending your heart into a panic. You smile back at her, letting the music and movement relax you. The booze finally heats the blood in your veins. Or maybe it’s just how turned on you are that’s making the room almost unbearably hot? 

She suddenly turns around, she presses her ass against you, her hands cover yours on her hips. As she starts grinding, all attempts at trying to keep a cool head come to a screeching halt. She leans back and looks over her shoulder. Her hooded eyes sparkle as she bites her lower lip. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You hold your breath feeling her hips sway and grind against your painfully hard cock. There’s not a doubt in your head, she definitely feels it against her ass. She doesn’t stop and her head falls back against your shoulder. You bring up a hand to run your fingers across her collarbone. You move her hair off her neck and press your lips close to her skin, making sure she can feel your breath. The goosebumps you feel rise across her chest confirm she does. 

Your other hand rises to her stomach, pulling her completely flush against you. She brings her arm up and grabs onto the side of your neck, her fingers playing with your hair. You can feel her breathing getting more and more unsteady. Your lips finally touch her neck and she fully stretches her neck out to give you full access. Gentle kisses turn to bites and licks, marks already appearing faintly all over her neck and shoulder. The room feels empty - it’s just you and her. And then you hear her moan quietly against your ear.

“Raf… fuck…” 

And I’m a killer who’s searching for redemption I’m a motherfucking monster who’s searching for redemption

“Want to get out of here?” You whisper in her ear as the song ends.

“God, yes.”

The door to your hotel room slams against the wall as you stumble inside. You’re not even in the room before she’s kissing you, her lips feeling like heaven. Soft, sweet, a hint of alcohol on her tongue. She bites your lip as she pulls you into your room. You kick the door closed and walk her backwards to the bed. 

Your fingers pull the zipper of her dress down. She’s already unbuttoned your shirt and pushes it over your shoulders. You reach back to pull it off and throw it to the floor. Her shoes kicked over to the corner, her dress hanging off her body. You reach up and pull it down, as you work the dress down her legs your mouth dives into her bare chest. She steps out of her dress just as you reach the bed. 

She falls back on the bed, her body glistening with sweat, her lipstick slightly smeared. You know you have it all over your face and chest since she couldn’t keep herself off of you on the walk to the hotel. You unbuckle your belt and unbutton your jeans, pushing them and your boxers over your hips. You kick your shoes and pants off before meeting her gaze. She lets her eyes trail over your body, stopping to take in your cock. You’ve been dying to address this little - well, aha there’s nothing little about it - now is not the time for jokes. Your head is swimming with how you ended up here with this gorgeous girl. 

She leans up on the bed and wraps her pretty little hand around your cock, stroking lightly before picking up the pace. Your head falls back. Holy shit. You squeeze your eyes closed. There’s 100 things you want to do to her, but hearing your name roll off her tongue over and over is at the top of the list. 

“Ah- fuck…” 

You look down to see her mouth around your leaking tip, her tongue tracing circles. She continues to pump you as her mouth opens wider. She sends her tongue over you rapidly before settling in to push you towards the back of her throat. Your hands fly to the back of her head, grabbing fistfuls of her soft hair. She’s so fucking bold. She gags lightly, but then she finds her rhythm. She bobs her head and lets her teeth lightly graze your shaft. She grabs onto the backs of your thighs as she moves. She moans against you. Her mouth feels insane wrapped around you. Every muscle in your body relaxes and you let her set the pace. She could do literally anything to you at this point, fuck, she’s a force of nature.

She brings her hands around to squeeze your ass, earning her a gasp from you. She did not just grab your ass?! The audacity. You’ll never admit that that was very hot and may have been the key to your undoing. She giggles, the vibrations pushing you to your limit. How the fuck is she getting you there so fast? It would be embarrassing if it didn’t feel so right, so good. When her hand finds your balls, massaging them gently, you have absolutely lost it. 

“Damn… cutie, I need to- fuck… ahh-”

She takes a sudden breath and sucks, hard. Nah, you are done for. Ruined. Conquered. Your release coats her mouth and when you feel her swallow you stop biting your lip and moan aloud. Her hands move to caress your thighs. She continues to suck and trails her tongue over your tip, gathering every ounce you gave her. When you look down at her, she locks eyes with you as she lets your cock slip out of her mouth. Her chin is coated with your cum, she licks her lips. She smiles as she takes in, what you’re sure is, your very fucked out face. 

You reach down to pull her up to her feet. She wraps her arms around your neck before your lips crash against hers. You can taste yourself and the burning in your stomach grows. You need her, you need to be inside her, you need all of her. You hook your thumbs along the band of her panties and tug them over her hips before dropping them to let them fall to the floor. You lean her back on the bed slowly. She carefully scoots back as you crawl over her. Before you can lower yourself, she places her hands on your chest and pushes. She rolls you over and swings her leg over your torso, she straddles you and, god, she’s perfect. 

Her hands feel your chest, dragging her nails down your abdomen. You tighten your core at the sensation. You hear her giggle before she leans down to capture your lips. She pushes against your lower lip begging for entrance, who are you to deny her? She damn near fights with your tongue. You know she’ll win, but she did say she likes a challenge. 

Her hand has reached down between her legs to grab a hold of your cock, once again rock hard. What is she doing to you? She’s effortless, you’re so desperate for her. Not a soul will ever hear you say that. Well maybe her… And then you find yourself whimpering exactly that.

“Fuck I’m desperate- ahh- for you…”

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! You weren’t actually going to say that what the hell… She smirks down at you, her eyes shimmer in the stream of moonlight shining through the window. She glides your sensitive tip along her clit slowly rolling her hips.

“Now’s the time, pretty boy. Make me scream for you.” 

Your eyes widen and the intensity you usually reserve for your kills surfaces. You say a silent prayer to, god knows who, that you won’t hurt her. You grab her hips and pull her forward, you reach down and move her hand before wrapping your own hand around your cock. You press your hips upward, your tip tucked into her. She gasps, falling forward she plants her hands on your chest. You slowly push down on her hips, stretching her slow and steady. You let go of your cock and settle your thumb against her clit. 

“You’re so- wet for me- shit…You like me that much, cutie?” 

Your words are rushed as you struggle to breath, she’s clenching so tightly around you your mind is turning to mush. She digs her nails into your chest. One of her nails catches the edge of the cut you patched up earlier. What you thought would be agony is euphoric. The pain causes you to thrust your hips up and you bottom out. 

“Raf- fuck oh god- Rafayel!” 

She screams your name and it is everything you could have wanted, needed, desired, dreamed of. You keep rubbing her clit, harder and faster, her gasps guiding your pace. Each thrust of your hips she matches by rolling her hips. She’s so tight and you feel your tip hitting her deepest sweet spot. 

“You’re close- shit- you’re so close aren’t you, angel?” 

You reach your hand up to palm her breast, she’s so fucking soft, except for her nipples. You cup her breast and press your thumb to the peaked bud. You roll your thumb up and down, slowly at first, letting it flick back to pointing straight out. As you move faster, she reaches a hand up to press against yours.

“Rafayel, RAF, shit…” 

She screams again and you feel a warm rush against your cock. She stops rolling her hips, too overwhelmed to ride out her orgasm. You bring both of your hands to her hips and rock her through her high, your thrusts more desperate now. The pressure building is dangerous, you’re close too. She leans back and puts her hands on your thighs, her head thrown back, your name rolling off her tongue over and over - just like you wanted. 

She’s beautiful, radiant, confident, sassy, bold, direct… And you found her dancing in a club on a random Thursday? You believed in fate, but never depended on it. But now? Fuck. Maybe you should go all in. Your chest tightens as you reach your peak. Jesus. You feel her release and yours mix and slide against your cock, it leaking out of her as she moves up and down. You reach down and coat your fingers. You reach up and use your thumb to pull her chin down.

“Open.” She does as she’s told.

“Good girl.” 

You put your fingers in her mouth and she moans as she licks them clean, releasing them with a soft pop. You return your fingers between you and gather more, bringing them to your lips this time. She watches you lick your fingers like a goddamn popsicle, she presses her hands to your chest once more. And as soon as you finish licking your fingers clean, she wraps her hands around your neck pulling you upwards. Her lips are hot and heavy against yours. Now who’s desperate? Thank god… It’s so much better being desperate for each other. So much hotter. 

As her hip movements slow, your thrusts follow suit. Her kissing becomes sloppy as exhaustion takes over. You feel yourself slipping out of her. You gently lift her off of you and sit her on your stomach. You wrap your arms around her back and roll her over. She relaxes into the mattress, your weight holding her still. You place soft kisses all over her face, watching as her eyes slowly close. 

“Raf…” 

“Shh, sleep. I’ll clean you up.”

She smiles before leaning up to kiss you one last time before settling in to rest. You carefully roll away from her and get up. You grab a blanket off the couch in the corner and cover her up. You make your way to the bathroom, but before you make it you hear your phone ding. Jesus Thomas. You grab your phone and then head to the bathroom. 

You splash cold water over your face, running your hands through your hair. You clean yourself up with hotel towels and get a few ready to take care of her. You grab your toothbrush and squeeze a drop of toothpaste directly in your mouth. As you brush your teeth, you open your phone to glance over the contract details Thomas sent through. 

A basic contract killing. No witnesses, easy. Plant evidence, poor sap named Xavier is gonna catch the charge it seems. What the fuck? Retrieve her heart? Who the fuck is this client? Why did they want her heart? Not that it’s any of your business. You’re just not used to doing fucking surgery after a kill. First time for everything. Okay, locations, she has her own apartment, no roommates. Consequences for failing the job… What in the actual fuck does “you don’t want to find out” mean? You can take a guess, but hello??

Your toothbrush hits the floor. Your blood runs cold as ice. It takes you a full minute to realize you’re not breathing. You gasp for air, your phone hitting the counter as you reach out to steady yourself. No fucking chance.

Target: Y/N

Tag List (comment if you wanna be added!): @trishiepo0 @not-so-quite-human

This is a one off, but I could see doing a long form story with this. Also, writing Rafayel's inner dialogue had me rolling so I wouldn't mind. Tell me if you'd read more... Thanks for reading!

[traumxrei-archive]

【 at the end of a day. 】

'i hope my own shoulders, and thick hands will become your comfort at the end of a tiring day. you did a good job, you worked so hard.' (ft. leona kingscholar)

gn! reader, word count: 1.7k, warning! mention of burnout and academic stress

a/n: i've been highkey stressed bc of deadlines, so i wrote this. this being self indulgent hurt/comfort with leona kingscholar. hope that everyone's taking care of themself this exam season ^^

To be honest, Leona was annoyed. But that was his selfishness talking, he wasn't annoyed at Yuu, he was more annoyed at all the deadlines taking up their time. He hasn't seen them in days now.

And to be even more honest, he was...worried. He stared at his phone, at how his texts and calls had been going unanswered for hours now. It was normal for them not to text everyday, but they had also told him that they get too engrossed in studying at times. Leona hazarded that this was one of those times.

That was why Leona was here, staring up at their self-imposed prison called Ramshackle, a bag of food in his hand. He was sure Yuu was in there, watching the flicker of their curtain from their open window. He trudged through the empty halls, climbing up the familiar staircase till he reached the front of their room.

He could feel the prickle of the ghosts' stares on him, and he turned into the empty air, "How long has the herbivore been at it?"

A ghost materialized near him, "It's been...hours since they've stopped to rest."

"And Grim?"

"Grim stormed out after they refused to stop and take a break," Another ghost said, looking sadly at the room.

"Alright," He sighed, hand on their doorknob. "Tell Grim to enter the room quietly when he's back. Don't worry, I'll get them to rest."

After the briefest of moments, he opened the door.

Light filtered through the open window, and he saw Yuu hunched over their desk. He saw a stack of textbooks next to them, accompanied by the faint glow of their computer screen. There were papers strewn all over the table and floor, and he even spotted what looked like dried alchemy ingredients in vials in the corner.

Leona wasted no time sitting on their bed. The creak most definitely drew their attention because they finally spoke, hand still scribbling on their notebook, "Grim? Hey, I'm sorry about earlier, I–"

"Try again."

And that was when Yuu finally froze. They turned slowly, a disbelieving look on their face as they saw him, "Leona. Did Grim ask you to come? You didn't tell me you were coming, I–"

"Was studying, I know," Leona watched as they scrambled to find something. "I called you a couple of times earlier, and you didn't reply."

They finally found it: their phone, buried under a stack of papers, "I'm...so sorry, my phone's out of battery."

"That's rare," Leona said, taking the phone from their hands and plugging it in. "How long has it been since you took a break?" He didn't really need to ask. He could see the fatigue smudged under their eyes, and in their unfocused gaze. It had been long enough since they took a break. But he wanted to hear it directly from them.

Yuu shrugged, "A couple of hours?" He sighed, approaching them.

"What time is it?" Leona towered over their seat, his arms boxing them in. "And don't even try cheating, herbivore." This close, he could see the messiness of their desk, the empty waterbottles discarded on the side, and the multitude of tabs open on their laptop. He could also see the sleepy droop of their eyes, their fingers reddened and raw from where the pencil had indented itself there for who knows how long.

They finally met his eyes, offering a tentative, "It's...uhm, 11am...?"

Leona's hands tightened its grip on their chair, "Herbivore, it's 2pm." He watched as the realization followed by panic play out on their face before he tugged them up.

"Sit on the bed. If I see you touching your computer or phone, you're dead meat," Leona ran a hand through his hair out of frustration more than anything. "And eat this. I'll go get you some water."

Once he saw them opening the bag, Leona made his way to their kitchen. He grabbed a tall glass of water, placing the empty water bottles in the sink before leaving.

When he made his way back up, they were sitting on the bed with a notebook open. Yuu raised their hands in surrender when they saw him, "You said no phone or computer. Nothing about notebooks."

Leona's jaw ticked, "Put that away and eat." They followed his order wordlessly, throwing the notebook onto the floor. Meanwhile he busied himself with their computer saving whatever was open, before closing it.

They had already scarfed down most of the rice bowl when they finally spoke again, "Are you mad at me?"

"More like frustrated at how bad you are at taking care of yourself when you study," Leona mumbled, pushing the water into their hands. They gulped it down all in one go and he sighed. "When's your next deadline?"

Yuu glanced at the clock, "4pm tomorrow."

"And how much is done?"

"Most of it, but–"

"That means you're sleeping. Now."

"Leona. I can't just...I can't sleep," There was this defeated look on Yuu's face and Leona wanted nothing more than to will it away.

"Elaborate for me," He sat across from them now, as they pushed around their rice. "Why can't you sleep?" Instead of answering, they let the silence grow, placing their food to the side table.

"It's...stupid."

"It's not stupid if you're still thinking about it," He frowned more openly now. He couldn't pretend to understand what they were going through. No matter how much knowledge he had, it would never give him the ability to read another's mind. All he could do was wait for them to open up.

"I just... Sleeping seems like a waste of time when I've got this much work," The words rushed out into the quiet of the room, and they gulped, as if they had been waiting to say them for so long. They almost choked on the words, their voice rising higher as they spoke, "It's stupid, because... well obviously you need sleep to be able to work. But I feel...guilty. There's so much to do and not enough time and I've been working deadline-to-deadline and...

Yuu head hung forward, "I'm so tired." The sentence was said in a whisper, almost like it was a plead for help.

"Herbivore..." Leona's heart ached for them. It wasn't only because of their struggles. No, it was because he was familiar with the feeling. Of wanting to do so much, and yet his body couldn't take it. Of struggling in vain in front of walls too tall for him to ever reach. Of the tiredness clawing at his limbs, until he had given up and surrendered to days of listless sleep.

"Let's sleep," Yuu nodded shortly; a clear attempt at deflecting. "I haven't slept since yesterday morning, I should—"

Leona caught their arm, meeting their eyes, "Hey. I can't say that I know what you're going through. But...I've been somewhere similar. And you're not alone. I see all the effort you're putting in; all that hard work. And I..."

Leona let out a soft sigh, his hand reaching to hold theirs, "I'm proud of you, okay?"

And he meant it. He meant every last word, because there was no one that could make him prouder than Yuu could. He just...hoped that they would believe him; believe in their own hard work and effort.

"Are you...trying to make me cry?" Their eyes burned with unshed tears as they glared at him, and Leona met their stare with a pang in his heart. It wasn't his intention to make them cry, of all things. He really was unskilled with words at times.

"No. I'm trying to get you to realize that you don't need to prove yourself to anyone," Leona wiped at their tears, and they leaned into his palm readily. "Not even to me, okay? Academics are important, but your health is more important."

"Then...could you..." They hesitated again and he squeezed their hand. "Could you stay here with me? Just until my assignments are done. You don't have to help or anything, you can just...sit there. Or nap."

"If that means you sleep and eat on time, then yes. Gladly," Leona strangely felt warm at the thought of them seeking comfort in him, warmer still at the way their hand held his. "You can always call me when you need me. You should go to sleep now."

The herbivore flopped back onto the bed, shuffling so they were lying next to him. Leona covered them with the blanket, an arm under his head.

"Thank you," Their voice was soft, a little wobbly. "For coming, and the food, and...everything."

"Of course," Leona said, voice equally as soft. "I can't just stand by and watch you wear yourself out."

"Thanks to my supportive and caring boyfriend, I can finally rest without feeling guilty," Their eyes finally fluttered shut, and Leona felt his heart squeeze. He leaned toward them, pressing a kiss to the crown of their head. That drew a small smile from them before they were burying their head into their pillow.

Leona waited until he was absolutely sure they were asleep before finally sighing. He was still concerned about if they really were okay. What would've happened if he didn't come sooner? Would he have recieved a summons from Grim? Or worse...the infirmary?

Leona didn't want to think about that. But at least now he could make sure that they would be just fine. He wrapped his arms more securely around them, closing his eyes. For now, all he needed to do was sleep, and when he awakened, he could take care of them.

If what Yuu needed was his presence he would gladly give them his time. If they needed his counsel, he would listen and advice. And if in the end of the day, all they needed was someone to hold them, and tell them they did well...he would do it.

Leona would give them all the comfort that they deserved for that was what Yuu was to him. And he hoped that they would one day regard him to be the same. A warm place to come home to. A place only they knew, and only they could have. Right there, in each others' arms.

(as an easter egg, the title of this fic + the excerpt are lyrics from the song "end of a day" by jonghyun <3 it's a song that comforts me when i'm having a hard day, so i thought i'd share it)

and that's a wrap on the fic ! i hope you enjoyed and that it was able to bring you some comfort <33 if you wanna see more, come check out my masterlist ^^

[ristoranteivorykeys]

graduation [octazinelle: high tide fic submission]

in the few months they have before getting ready to leave for internship, floyd and jade go through the turbulence that future uncertainties bring: where will they go, what will they do, but most importantly... what will happen to their relationship with azul?

ft. floyd leech, jade leech, and azul ashengrotto

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hello hello!! i participated in a zine titled octazinelle: high tide! you can find the full zine through here~ this was a very fun project and i'm so excited to post the fic i wrote for you guys ^^ i really care about this fic so much, so there will be additional notes that i will leave somewhere :3c don't worry, they won't be hard to find fufufu

“Floyd Leech.”

Said student is just climbing down the steps of the lecture room when he hears his name being called in an austere manner. Any remaining students in the classroom cast Floyd that ‘oh boy’ look as they leave the room. Floyd looks to the teacher’s table where Professor Trein stares at him sternly. He returns the stare with a miffed look, but he approaches the professor nonetheless.

“This is the second time this week that I have caught you sleeping in my class,” Trein rebukes. “This may be your last semester in Night Raven College before you go on your internship, but that doesn’t mean that you can be negligent in my class.”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t give me that attitude, Leech. I do not want to give any penalties so late into the semester, but if I catch you sleeping one more time, I will. Do I make myself clear, Leech?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“You may now go.” 

Floyd steps out of the classroom with the same expression as he wore when getting called out. Damn Professor Red Squid, if you don’t wanna give detention, then just don’t, he thinks to himself. Meh, oh well. I don’t feel hungry at all, should I even go to the canteen? But where do I even wanna go? Everywhere’s so noisy. 

He walks for a bit, hands in his pockets.

Ah wait. 

There’s the supplies arriving today for Mostro Lounge. 

Floyd barely notices his frown growing ever so slightly deeper, but students walking along the same path as him instinctively step aside. Nobody in their right mind would dare interrupt a disgruntled Leech twin. 

I’m not going to help out with those. Azul can suffer with those all he wants.

“Floyd! There you are!” 

Floyd stops in his tracks. He does not look at the classmate who briskly walks up to him, but he already feels the annoyance rushing to his head. 

“Floyd, we got a paper due in two days,” the classmate yells. “We just need your part, and we'll be done! When are you gonna send it in the gc?”

“Go away.”

“Hah? Don’t give me that!” The groupmate’s voice raises in anger. “We have a literal group paper to submit, and we just need your part so that we can submit it earlier!”

Floyd faces him finally, but this time, his eyes are dilated, teeth are displayed, and brows are furrowed. An all-too familiar menacing expression. “I said go away.”

“Eep!” The classmate takes a step back, expression immediately shifting to fear for his life. “O-ok ok! Just- just submit before the 11:59 deadline in two days! That’s all I needed to say, ok!”

And right after, the student runs away.

Floyd huffs. He has now made up his mind on where to go. 

Jade is wiping the sweat off of his face in the locker rooms when one of his Octavinelle classmates approaches him. “Hey, Azul’s calling for you,” he says. “He’s by the gates right now.”

“Oh?” Jade looks up in confusion. “I thought Floyd was supposed to be with him right now.”

“Well, he’s not there now,” the classmate replies while scratching his head. “They need more backup and Azul’s calling for you.” 

“Ah, I see.” He smiles. “I shall be there, then.”

The classmate leaves the locker rooms, leaving Jade all by himself. The rest of the class has already left, eager for lunch. 

Jade slows down in cleaning himself up.

Azul’s name brings back a rip that’s been tearing at his heart. It burns in the way that electricity probably burns, maybe to a lesser degree: his body stops working the way it usually does, and his chest still reels from a shock of pain. It’s not physical by any means, though by the Sea Witch, he wishes it was. It would have been so much easier to deal with. He’d be shipped to the best hospital, all bills easily paid for, and he’d be recovering well back in Octavinelle. Or if he dies, then that is that. No more pain to feel.

No, it’s a harder kind of pain. It’s the kind of pain that makes him want to tear flesh and bone with teeth and claws, the kind of hurt that urges him to destroy a ship, the kind of ache that makes him want to burn his already burning eyes. It’s the kind of pain that won’t go away even if he does all three.

Jade breathes in. Hold it. Breathe out. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Breathe in… breathe out…

He cannot afford to lose himself now, whether by wrath or by tears. 

He packs his bags, changes back to his uniform, and leaves the lockers. His light footsteps are overshadowed by the sounds of enthusiastic jogs to the cafeteria in the corridors. Jade takes a moment to breathe in the afternoon sunny air, letting out a bit more of his worries out of his lungs before he walks down the stairs and through Main Street. 

And soon, he finds himself nearing the tall gates of the school, where a group of students are gathered around large boxes. 

It annoys Jade that the gleam of silver hair stirs mixed emotions. On one hand, his troubles are dashed completely from seeing the very person he keeps close. On the other hand, it is the same person who’s making him go through hell.

He swiftly shifts his focus to the situation in front of him. Some of the other boxes should have been on the way to the Mostro Lounge by this time, yet there are still several of them that the other Octavinelle students have to carry. It isn’t surprising—after all, they decided to upgrade a few things, in preparation for the next dorm leader. Supplies that a simple run to Sam’s shop won’t cover, no matter how much he claims to have it all in stock. 

“Be extra careful with that. That tableware costs us quite a fortune.” Standing by the boxes with a clipboard resting on his arm, Azul watches his dorm mates as he writes notes on the clipboard. He has his dorm leader facade on, serious and stern, but even from a distance, Jade can see his slightly nervous gaze towards the supplies. 

As another pair leaves with a heavy box, Azul looks at them before his eyes fall on him. “Jade, good you made it on time.”

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets. “I thought that Floyd was supposed to help with the supplies.”

“Well, he’s not here now,” Azul answers, frowning from annoyance. “I was wondering if you had any idea as to where he is right now.”

“I don’t. His history class should have ended 10 minutes ago.” 

“Hmph, nevermind. We need to get all of this into the lounge.” He gestures to the boxes. “All the boxes are complete, and we’ll do a final count of all the supplies once everything has been moved there.”

“I see.” Jade nods. “Will you need me to assist you?”

“No, you may enjoy your lunch break after helping us move these boxes,” Azul answers. “I’ll be making my next successor do that. It’s a part of his learning, after all.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

It annoys him to feel that same shock of hurt returning to his chest. 

A bemused look crosses Azul’s face. “Does that offend you,” he teases. “I never took you for one to be tilted by that.”

Jade blinks. “Why Azul, whatever makes you think I’d be offended over that?” He smiles, with a bit more effort than he’s used to. “You must be imagining things from how little rest you have in passing on your position to the little siren.”

“You exaggerate.” He keeps his clipboard and pen into his bag. “We need to move. Jade, carry that box over there.” He points to one of the smaller boxes, marked with the word FRAGILE, and picks up another box. 

And wordlessly, Jade follows, carrying a box that must contain brand new tea sets. New tea sets that remind him that a new dorm leader and manager of the Mostro Lounge will take over. 

That his term and Azul’s will end because they’ll move up to 4th year and go their separate ways. 

Jade resists the urge to break them. He’ll carry these then find Floyd. 

Back at home, the schools of fish would band together, staying close until Floyd swam past them, splitting their perfect formation. Together, apart. Together, apart. 

Together. Apart.

Separation was not new to Floyd at all. In an “eat or be eaten” world, fish and merfolk alike live with the thought that the people closest to them may be gone the next day. Floyd has hunted before, has fought before. He’s even the one who said goodbye to his parents when leaving for Night Raven College.

But he said goodbye with the promise of seeing them again after school is done. 

He stares down at the river that runs below the bridge. This spot is rarely ever frequented by students at lunchtime, if only because everyone else is either eating in the canteen, having meetings, or just being with friends, and the bridge is on the other path away from the Hall of Mirrors. Besides Octavinelle, it feels the closest to home on this campus: here, he can watch the current flow, and the fish that live below its clean stream. 

Home, huh? Floyd wonders if home will still feel like home once he returns from Night Raven College. 

It will be the same dark passageways and bioluminescent lights, the same faces but all grown up. Except that he isn’t a child that can pick fights with anyone and nab their scales as a prize, he is to be stuck with running the family business of making deals, expanding connections, beating up people who betray their trust. Pretty much like what he already does with Azul now. 

Except that the boss that would stand with him and Jade is not Azul at all. 

The fish in the river swim with no obstacle in their path. They may split apart to avoid the occasional rock, but they would be together again. Together, apart. Together. In the small space that they share, there is no vast ocean that opens up new paths for them to split ways. Not until they swim down the cliff and into the open sea. 

Floyd has never envied river dwellers until now. 

Jade walks behind Azul going to Mostro Lounge. It’s something of a routine that started in Night Raven College. When Azul walks, he and Floyd follow him from behind. He doesn’t remember how or when it started. Probably started to make Azul’s image look powerful: he is in the front, wearing a coat that imposes authority, and Jade and Floyd standing at the back makes him look almost impossible to touch. 

Regardless of the hows or the whys, it’s a position that has always given him comfort. From behind, Jade can watch Azul. He can see if Azul is pleased with something by the bounce in his step, or if he’s pissed by the clack of his heels. And from the front, Azul can’t read Jade since he’s always looking forward, and that lets Jade startle him with a random brutal teasing remark. 

Right now, though, he wishes to not look at Azul. 

Azul appears to be beaming, and Jade knows exactly why. He’s found the perfect successor for not only leadership of Octavinelle but also manager for his prized restaurant. He’s gotten accepted in all the places he applied for his internship. 

He’s gotten accepted already into the university that he aims to go to.

Jade vividly remembers the way Azul grinned from ear to ear when he received the email. He remembers the audible, “Yes! Yes, I got in!” that almost sounded teary-eyed. He remembers Floyd saying that they should celebrate over some drinks. He remembers smiling to the best of his abilities while saying congratulations for being accepted. 

That was two weeks ago. He’s said many fake things in his life, and he would never say sorry for them. But until now, the heartless congratulations weighs heavily in his conscience. 

It’s simple, really: Azul has been working hard all his life to achieve his dreams. And Jade was there to witness the journey, from the ideas to the headaches to the defeats to the victories. It’s a huge milestone for Azul to get to stay on land and study in a place where he feels he will thrive. So it’s unfair really, to not be able to celebrate such an achievement happily. 

And yet, Jade can’t bring himself to. 

Their relationship started as something transactional. Tweels keep his secrets, Azul lets them in his plans. Tweels support him, Azul entertains them. And if Azul fails to entertain, then they will drop him like plastic to the chute. There and done. That’s supposed to be their relationship. 

So why then does it hurt to hear that Azul got accepted? Why does it hurt to think about how in a few months, he won’t see Azul as much as the present? Why does it hurt to think about the uncertainty of when they will see each other again? 

“Jade, you can put down the box over there.”

Jade blinks. He’s at Mostro Lounge. Has he been so deep in thought that he didn’t realize when he arrived?

Schooling his expression, he puts down the box on the counter that Azul gestures to, unaware of the concerned expression on Azul’s face. 

Floyd doesn’t know when he started staring into nothingness to gaze at memories, but he’s now seeing the stone stage from middle school, where his younger self is playing drums to his brother’s bass and someone’s piano. 

He remembers, he was getting irritated with the piano melody, and at the time he couldn’t pinpoint why, except that it lacked something. Now that he thinks about it, it’s because that pianist’s playing had no life. No vigor, no passion, just technique that wouldn’t get anyone dancing. “Next,” he had said and stopped playing. The pianist was protesting. Floyd forgot what he said, just that he protested that he wasn’t done playing, but he didn’t care enough to hear about it.

“Everyone sucks, Jade,” he threw his sticks to the ground. “No one’s good enough to be part of our band. Let’s just go.” And he and Jade—who was bigger than him at the time—left the small auditorium of their school. And it’s a blur, Floyd doesn’t remember why he and Jade didn’t go home right away, but he remembers very well the syncopated melodies coming from the piano they forgot to close. 

And he remembers the gasp he made, the way his heart was stirred from how alive the music sounded. 

And he remembers how quickly he swam back inside to see who’s playing, and his wide-eyed gaze when he spotted the familiar octopus.

“Hey hey, that was so cool,” he said to the flustered Azul. “Play some more, play some more!” 

“Huh? No way, I have to go soon!”

But he didn’t let him go. He insisted he play the piano as he picked up his sticks and played a beat. “Come on, just one song! Then you can go!”

And he started his beat. And when it was just him for a long moment, Floyd had wondered if Azul left. But the sound of an E minor reached his ears, and the next moment, Azul’s playing was matching to the beat of the drums. And his music had heart. It had spirit, it had technique, it had passion. 

And the best part? Azul matched his rhythm when nobody else did. 

“I knew I’d find you here, Floyd.”

Eyes turning away from his reflection in the water, Floyd looks up to the face that he’s known since birth. Jade, impeccably presentable despite having PE class earlier, walks towards Floyd, leaning on the railing of the bridge he stands on. But he does not go near him. 

“What do you want,” Floyd asks. 

“We had a new batch of supplies arrive at the Lounge today,” Jade answers. “You were supposed to help out with the unpacking.”

He only answers with a curt hum before turning back to the water below. 

He hears a sigh. And footsteps approaching.

“You’re thinking about last last week, aren’t you?”

Floyd turns again to Jade. He’s by the bridge railing now, same side as him, but he continues to keep a respectable distance. Jade doesn’t look at him directly either, his gaze directed at the horizon ahead of them. 

He’s thinking about it too.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he answers. “It’s just, really ass, y’know?”

Floyd believes that in spite of their identical genetics, they are two people with different identities, dreams, and beliefs. And don’t get him wrong, it is a lot better that way to have individuality. But deep down, there is a comfort knowing that Jade probably feels the same feeling that leaves Floyd dizzy with frustration, that binds his chest with a mix of anger and sadness. And Sea Witch knows, Floyd needs that comfort now. 

“‘Ass’, you say,” Jade repeats. “Tell me about it.” 

A beat of silence passes between them. 

“It’s just that. It takes half a fish brain to know that Azul’s got grand plans after graduation. Get into the best business school, build his own corporation, build another company, and a third company. And I’ve known this for Sea Witch knows how long, and it was all fine, I didn’t care that much, but then…”

“...But then the letter came in.” Jade fills in. 

“Yeah,” Floyd emphatically answers. “That damned acceptance letter from whosit business university came in. Like, I don’t know why, but it just made everything feel… real. That Azul’s really gonna go somewhere else. And I hate that it’s been hitting me like this for the last two weeks. I can’t focus well, I’m pissed off, Trein’s told me off about sleeping. It’s so ass.”

The silent air between the twins weighs heavier. Floyd’s eyes briefly look at the fish in the river again—the damned fish that he wants to throw a rock at so they separate too—before he turns to Jade. “How ‘bout you? Was it also the letter?”

Jade doesn’t answer right away. Floyd understands; in moments like these, Jade hesitates to speak his mind, even to him. It’s part of their nature to be cowardly, after all, just that Jade exhibits it more between the two of them. 

“... Somehow, yes, but if I were to think about it… it’s actually been a while now,” he finally answers.

“Eh? Really?”

“I knew down the line that there would be farewells to be made,” Jade says. “Like you said, Azul has already made plans for himself, and he invests in those plans, years in advance. But there’s always that part of me that wonders… if there’s space for us in those plans.” 

Floyd finds himself inhaling sharply at those words. 

“I see his goals coming to fruition, and it pains me to say that I can’t even properly support him. The letter, the new supplies, the little siren he’s going to appoint… they’re all reminders that it will all change.” Jade smiles, but in pain. “Azul won’t be the dorm leader, I won’t be the vice leader, and we won’t do the things we used to do. And we won’t see each other until perhaps the next VDC. And when we graduate… would he call an end to our agreements? Would we grow so busy that we become strangers again? We would always say that our relationship is merely transactional and that we would leave him if we get bored, but…”

Jade stops, and the air weighs even heavier. Floyd feels taken back to the first day on land, when breathing with lungs felt heavy and difficult. 

Suddenly, Jade laughs. “What clownfish have we become?”

Floyd too joins his twin in mirth. “Can’t help it, Azul makes me feel understood.”

He raises a brow. “Is it gonna be about the first time you played together with him?”

“I mean, it’s how it started,” he answers. He doesn’t realize the small smile that settles on his face as he remembers once more. “Like, back then, everyone just kinda avoided, y’know? And that’s fine, at least, I thought it was. ‘Twas fun and all to be intimidating. But no matter what I’d do, Azul always matches me. He knows exactly what to play to my rhythm. And even in how we work, he knows what’s the stuff I’d like to do or the stuff I’d do well in. It just feels nice.”

It feels too nice. 

Too nice that if it disappears, it will leave his heart bound tightly by melancholy. 

“…Hey, I can’t be the only sappy one here.” Floyd eyes Jade. “C’mon Jade, share too what’s made you appreciate Azul.”

“I already shared a lot earlier,” Jade says defensively.

“Heyyy, be fair at least. I know you have your own thing.”

“What else is there to say? You already said everything.”

“Liar. I know how you started reading your books more after meeting him.” 

“So? Those were lessons that we had to learn as well.”

“Uh huh sure. Then explain why you’ve only gotten better in everything you do after meeting Azul.”

Jade glares at him. 

Floyd grins in response. “Gotcha.”

A beat of silence, then Jade sighs. “If he makes you feel understood, then he makes me feel capable.”

“How so?”

“One reason.” He puts up one free hand, with one finger up. “He’s demanding.”

Floyd chuckles. “That’s an understatement.”

“You’re right.” Jade grins, teeth flashing. “He’s exigent. Making us run around the school to do 5 things at once, on top of schoolwork. Even before NRC, he was just like that. I assumed he was insane. Until now, I still think he’s insane.”

“You say that, but you don’t look like you’re complaining at all.”

“Because thanks to that, I wasn’t pretending to be good at something anymore.” His next smile is closed. Softer. “I went from barely comprehending a textbook and barely lifting a seashell with my magic to understanding contract language and unlocking my unique ability. He made me do things, and I planned to just make someone else do it and pretend it was me.” 

“Ohhh.” Floyd’s eyes widened with remembrance. “And then he caught you.”

“Yes.” Jade shakes his head at the thought. “And I was expecting him to laugh at me, but he didn’t. All he did was sigh and teach me. Magic, studies, law, something about the way he taught those things clicked something in me. And even the things that he didn’t teach but always talked about, like culinary and how people behave, I was able to absorb things and got better. Dare I say,” a smirk forms on his face, “I’m better than Azul in some things.”

“Like flight class.” Floyd grins.

“Like flight class,” Jade repeats smugly. 

And they stop talking. Jade turns his gaze to the distant horizon, looking at something farther than the blue of the sky. Meanwhile, Floyd glances back at the river. He understands that Jade is done talking personal. But it’s fine for him. He can almost hear the unspoken thoughts. Once Azul leaves, who’s going to be the pianist in their little band that makes their every day exciting? Once Azul leaves, who’s going to tell them that they can do it? 

Once Azul leaves, who’s going to understand them?

“So this is where you two are.”

Simultaneously, Floyd and Jade whip their heads around. Floyd swears his heart almost leapt to his chest when he saw those familiar blue eyes. 

One hand in his pocket, Azul stands on the threshold of the bridge. He and Jade fully turn around as he walks towards them until he’s directly in front of both of them. 

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets, like the conversation a while ago never happened. “How was teaching your next successor what he has to do?”

“Went well,” he answers. “His prior experiences already reassure me, but he’s also demonstrated that he knows what he’s doing. Currently, he and our other dorm mates are taking care of the supplies.”

“Weird that you’re not being so strict, considering how much you value your restaurant,” Floyd comments. “You’re not even gonna be there to make sure nothing’s going wrong?”

“I trust that things are going well with my new successor in charge. I’ve taught him very well enough,” Azul says. “But more importantly… I have matters to discuss with the both of you.”

He turns his head to look at Jade. “Jade, you’ve been out of focus lately. Just a while ago, when you were bringing the box of teacups to the lounge, you were so deep in thought, you didn’t look like you were aware of where you were going. And even during work hours, you haven’t been as sharp as you usually are. A few professors have commented on your slouched posture as well.”

Jade’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“And Floyd.” Azul turns to look at Floyd. “Professors have reported to me that you’ve either been asleep during lectures or interrupting class with an outburst. You’ve also been moodier than usual, and it shows in your cooking and your behavior. I’ve heard a few students rant about you in group projects.”

Floyd briefly remembers the group mate that approached him earlier. 

“So what are you getting at exactly, Azul,” Jade asks. “Even we have our off days as well.”

Azul casts him a pointed look. “Off days for two weeks straight.” 

He receives no quip in reply. 

He crosses his arms. “Jade, Floyd.” His neutral serious tone changes. It quivers slightly. He’s worried. “I know you two well enough that there’s something going on. Is there something that happened?”

Floyd looks away. Jade does as well.

Floyd hates the concern in his tone. It makes him want to break. It makes him want to be upfront about his feelings and how it’s been bothering him. 

But how can someone like him really tell someone like Azul that you’re afraid to lose him somehow? How can he retract all the times he said that their relationship is all transaction and no emotional connection? How do you even start bearing something so vulnerable? 

They must be the same questions that Jade is grappling with now. Jade, who’s usually good at worming his way out of any conversation, has nothing to say to leave this topic. 

Azul sighs, breaking the long silence. “Is this something that has to do with me?”

The twins stiffen. 

Floyd can feel Azul’s gaze towards him. 

A tense moment passes. 

“... I had a feeling.”

He finally looks at him but in confusion. Jade is also facing him with wide eyes. 

Azul exhales through his nose. “You don’t have to tell me anything about what you’re feeling right now. If at all.” He turns around, preparing to leave. His head is bowed down, not letting either twin see his expression. “But I just want to let you know, I’m always here if you need me. Not just for this, but for anything, even if in the future.”

Floyd’s breath hitches.

“Do you… really mean that?” Jade asks, almost meekly.

Azul looks at Jade in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I? You two have been with me for all these years, even in my weakest hours. It’s not like I’m going to leave you even after we graduate.”

“Really,” Floyd asks. “Even when you get really busy with university and we’re running our family business?”

“Well, I won’t deny that we will be busy,” he answers. “But I’m not letting go of you two just because of that. You know me too well, after all. And you’ve supported me all these years, it would be embarrassing to leave that unpaid.”

“You mean that?”

“Have I ever broken a promise? If you want, I can even put that on a contract and have you sign it.”

In one single breath, the binding sadness and worry that tightened Floyd’s chest leaves. 

Without thinking, he moves towards Azul and wraps his arms around his slim frame. He ignores the surprised gasp as he buries his face on his shoulder. His breathing feels lighter than it has ever been the past two weeks. 

He feels Jade joining in, hugging Azul from the other side and burying his face on the other shoulder. His breathing sounds even to any person, but to Floyd, he can hear a slight quiver, like Jade is trying to hold back tears. 

“Is… is this what it’s been all about, all this time,” Azul finally asks. His hands move to pat their heads, a motion that always comforted the twins. “You two are strange for worrying about this type of thing.” 

Despite his words, Floyd can hear the smile in Azul’s voice.

[lavenderbang]

Love Letters

Gryffindor! Seo Changbin x Ravenclaw! reader

Genre(s): Harry Potter/hogwarts au!, ABSOLUTE FLUFF, one scene of angst but that’s it, acquaintances(?) to lovers (Reader has a crush on Changbin but they aren’t quite friends???), feat. the rest of skz (mainly Felix, Jisung, Bangchan, and Jeongin though...)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of self-doubt, but that’s about it :)

W.C: 12.9k

Summary: Seo Changbin was used to his friends having to turn down confessions left and right, seeing as their little friend group as one of the most popular in the school. He convinced himself he didn’t care if nobody ever had interest in him, as it seemed liked such a hassle. That is, until he receives finds a box of chocolates and a love note from his “secret admirer”

A/N: I originally had this idea for Chan, but I feel like Changbin doesn’t get enough love these days and I am such a big simp for Binnie, so here we are. I also love different AUs, and Hogwarts is by far one of my favourites. And with the recent controversy of the stupid game coming out, this is a better way to indulge in the HP universe without supporting Transphobia and Antisemitism, so I hope you enjoy!

Everybody, look how cute he is

“Oh no, she’s crying...” Jeongin sighed, a look of sympathy washing over his features as the boys watched Hyunjin reject yet another confession. 

They were sat at their usual table in the library, when a sweet hufflepuff girl came up to the group and asked to speak with Hyunjin privately, a normal occurrence for the Slytherin boy, as many girls and guys alike fell for his pretty visuals.

“Its always the worst when they end up crying...” Felix frowned, “It makes me feel so bad for them.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Chan hums in agreement, looking down at the table, “Like you know its for the best and you turn them down gently, but still...”

Hyunjin then gave an apologetic bow to the girl and made his way back over to the table. He sat, letting out a deep sigh and brushing his hand through his hair.

“Well?” Jisung said, leaning his chin on his fist, “What happened?”

“She told me how she grew feelings for me recently and how she couldn’t stop thinking about me, which is sweet. She even wrote me a poem...” Hyunjin explained, taking out a folded pink piece of paper from his pocket. However, he didn’t open it, instead he placed it the middle of his potion book and closed it, “I let her down as gently as possible, and she said she understood, but I could see her holding back tears.”

“oh man...” Seungmin winced, scratching the back of his head, “So she was really into you, huh... That’s almost worse.”

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, shaking his head before focusing back on the potions assignment they had due tomorrow, “Being a heart-breaker would be too stressful for me.”

And for the most part, Changbin meant it; the uncomfortable and guilty feelings his friends felt whenever someone would confess their feelings to them and the awkward apologizing for not loving someone back was something Changbin couldn’t imagine himself doing. 

But deep down, he wished that maybe someone would someday confess to him; how embarrassing that out of his whole friend group, he’s the only one who has never been asked out before! Sure, he’s dated, but he always made the first move, always was the one pining after someone else. Maybe once, he’d like to be sought after too?

“It’s okay, she’ll get over it eventually.” Chan said, writing on his own assignment, “I’ll talk to her later tonight in the common room about it.”

“I doubt she wants to talk to you, Channie.” Minho said and rolled his eyes, “I know you’re head of Hufflepuff and you’re supposed to look out for your housemates, but she’ll probably still be a bit sensitive about it.”

“fair point, I’ll just let her be then.” Chan hummed, the boys finally getting back to work on their assignment, since the looming deadline was more important than talk of a rejection.

--------

You sat reading a book in the ravenclaw common room, snuggled up in the corner of the love seat with a cup of tea when the rowdiness of boys stumbled in. You glanced up to see Felix, Chan, Jisung and Changbin enter, seemingly laughing at the conversation the must had been having on the way here. When Jisung caught your gaze, he smiled.

“Oh hey (Y/N)! Sorry if we are bothering you!” He apologized and plopped down on the couch across from the fireplace. The other boys followed suit and sat down next to Jisung, “We’re just gonna hang out here for a bit if that’s okay?”

Jisung was a very good head of house; sure his thought process was pretty odd, but he always was taking in new information and trying to take good care of the rest of his house.

You nodded, before glancing at Felix, who smiled sweetly and waved to you; you shyly waved back focusing back on your book.

Out of the two Australian Hufflepuffs, you were more acquainted with Felix; He spent a lot of time in the great hall, handing out the baked good he made on the weekends. He also sat next to you in charms, to which he was very friendly and kind. He made sure to always say hello whenever he saw you, which you appreciated.

“So as I was saying,” Jisung huffed, before continuing whatever the boys were talking about previously. You didn’t listen much, opting to continue reading and minding your own business; however, that became increasing difficult when Changbin started speaking.

You caught yourself stealing glances at the dark haired Gryffindor from over the top of you book, feeling giddiness bubble up inside whenever he would smile or push his bangs out of his eyes.

You knew it was silly; you barely even spoken to Changbin, besides a simple greeting, yet his presence made you feel anxious. He was handsome and kind, very smart and passionate about the things he cared about. You’ll never forget the day you had heard him talking with Chan over quidditch, the conviction and intensity he had in his voice quite frankly made you feel nothing short of inspired.

So you may have grown a crush on Changbin. A secret one that nobody would ever get to know about. You would listen at look from afar, but it was just too much for you to ever even dream of actually being with him. Besides, he knows plenty of students; he probably doesn’t even really know who you are, so your chances were at zero.

But still, you though about him, what it would be like to go on a date with him. What it would be like to have him talk about you with the same passion and spirit. To be able to kiss him...

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought, lifting your book so it covered your flushed face. Suddenly the boy’s conversation switched to something more serious, and you felt your ears perk up as you listened.

“So what about that girl and Hyunjin today?” Felix said before shaking his head pitifully at the rug, “It’s really unfortunate cause I know that exact feeling.”

“The feeling of the girl being rejected or Hyunjin having to reject her?” Jisung said, earning a shove from Chan. Did a girl confess to Hyunjin today? You suddenly felt bad, even though you weren’t there or knew who it was.

“Hyunjin of course,” Chan said and rolled his eyes, “We’ve all been there when we had someone confess to us...”

“Well, all except Binnie here!” Jisung teased, nudging Changbin, who rolled his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Had Changbin never been asked out? That’s impossible! Everyone knew that the group of eight boy were basically the school’s crushes; He would have had to have dated dozens of-

“Make fun of me all you want,” Changbin folded his arms across his chest and leaned back into the couch, “I may have never been asked out, but I also don’t have to deal with that awkward, sticky situation of telling them you don’t like them back.”

No way Changbin really had never been asked out?! You could have sworn there had to be at least one person who has asked him out.

The more you though about it, the more you realized that you couldn’t think of a single person who you knew had. You couldn’t even think of someone who had a genuine crush on him, and not just praised him for his visuals (well, besides you of course...)

“It doesn’t make you sad, does it?” Felix asked, voice full of concern. Changbin sat quietly for a moment before pursing his lips and shifting in his seat. You caught yourself not even holding your book open anymore, hands folded in your lap waiting to hear his answer.

“I mean, it would be really nice to be sought after, sure.” Changbin mumbled before shaking his head and scoffing, “But there is stress that comes with it too, so I’m okay for now.”

“It’s really not all that its cracked up to be, so you’re not missing out much.” Chan said and patted him on the back. They were silent for a moment, before Chan stood and stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, “Anyways, I should get going to bed, I have a test tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah us too,” Felix nodded, standing from his spot and grasping Changbin’s hand to help him up, “See you boys tomorrow!” As Felix, Chan and Changbin turned to leave, you met their gaze, causing you to embarrassingly wave goodbye to them, praying  they don’t bring up you’re eavesdropping. Lucky for you, them smiled and waved back, before leaving your common room to just you and Jisung.

“I’m gonna go to bed too,” Jisung said out loud, turning to you, “Are you gonna stay out here or can I put out the fire?” 

“Oh yeah, I better get to bed too,” You said meekly and stood up, book in hand as you went to the staircase.

“Good night (Y/N).” Jisung hummed, to which you quietly sputtered out a ‘good night’ in response and darted up the stairs.

You ran to your room, closing the door behind you, mind still on Changbin and the shock of him not being asked out or confessed to. 

It made your nerves all jittery as you laid down on your bed, staring at the ceiling; suddenly, a thought popped into your head that made you smile.

Yes, it was perfect.

---------------

“What do you have in your hand?” Jeongin asked, pointing at the small red box Changbin was carrying as he arrived at their usual table in the library. His cheeks were flushed almost as red as the box and his smile was so big his cheeks puffed out. 

It had been a couple of days since the Hyunjin rejection, and everything was how it normally was. That is until Changbin was returning to his dorm after a class and almost tripped over something in front of his door; he couldn’t believe it! was it really...?

“Oh nothing, just a gift from...” Changbin began coyly, suddenly slamming a note down on the table with a happy laugh, “My secret admirer!”

The table was in shock, some of the boys cheering, while other were quick to try and grasp for the note; Until the sharp shushing of a nearby professor, that is. The boys relaxed a bit, shifting in their seats as Changbin sat down setting the gift down on the table.

“What’s in the box?” Minho asked, reaching for the box and opening it to reveal six homemade-looking chocolates, decorated with caramel hearts and various coloured sprinkles.

“Dibs!” Jisung cheered before reaching out to grab one, only for his hand to be swatted away by Changbin. He covered the chocolates, closing the box back up and pulling it closer to him.

“You guys don’t get them, they’re for me!” Changbin pouted, clutching the box to his chest, “The note doesn’t say ‘to Changbin and all of his friends’, now does it?”

“What does the note say?” Seungmin asked, nodding to the folded white note in Changbin’s hand. The Gryffindor, unfolded the letter, reading the contents out loud:

Dearest Changbin,

Hello.

I watch you from afar every day and I know how much you like the chocolate from Honeydukes. But to make my gift as special as you are, I melted it into something new and decorated it myself. I hope you like them as much as I like you &lt;3

Your Secret Admirer

Changbin’s face flushed re-reading the message, feeling his heart flutter. It wasn’t everyday someone gave him a gift, especially not of something he really liked.

“Who gave this to you?” Hyunjin asked, grinning at the excitement and giddiness in Changbin’s features.

“I don’t know,” Changbin hummed, smile still on his face as he looked over the note once more, “I found it outside my door after Care For Magical Creatures.”

“Good for you, Bin!” Chan said with a smile, ruffling Changbin’s hair like a proud parent before looking over at the note, “I really wonder who it is, though...”

“That’s not important right now,” Felix said, crossing his arms on the table and laying his chin down onto them, “What’s important is how happy they made you feel dude.”

The boys then started to tease Changbin, pinching at his cheeks and shoving his shoulders with chuckles and a string of ‘ooo’s.

You steal a glance from a few tables away, feeling the heat creep up your face at their reactions. You didn’t think Changbin would show his friends your letter, so it was a bit embarrassing; but you didn’t really mind that much, as they didn’t seem like the type to make fun of you for it.

Besides, it was worth all the hot, long hours you spent trying to heat and cool that damn chocolate to see the look on Changbin’s face. It was cute to see how excited he was, ears red and pretty smile seemingly stuck to his face. You decided you wanted to see it again and again and again. You decided he should smile like that everyday, so you began to brainstorm your next idea to make him smile like that again.

----------

“Ow! son of a bitch...” You cried out, sucking the blood that was pooling at the tip of your finger from the prickly thorns of the rose you were preparing. The bundle of soft lavender roses was almost complete, but the thorns were proving to be a pain in the ass.

You instinctively tapped your finger a few times on the pad of your thumb before going back to work. You felt nervous, as you were out in the greenhouses where anyone could just waltz in and catch you; you wanted to finish quickly. Not to mention Changbin would be finishing quidditch practice soon, and you wanted to deliver this gift before he was done.

“Okay that’s good...” You mumbled to yourself before pulling out a red ribbon and tying it around the stems creating a lovely bouquet. You then read over the note once more and slipped in in the ribbon as well. Looking at your handiwork one last time before deciding it was good enough, you stood and approached the quidditch field. You awkwardly tried to hide the purple bouquet in the folds of your robe, even though there wasn’t anyone out to see you; but better safe than sorry.

The weather today was bit chillier than expected, the autumn season coming to a close. It would soon be winter, which was good in its own respect; sure, autumn was beautiful, with the colourful leaves popping against the dull grass and skies, but winter meant powdery snow, warm drinks by the fireplace and cuddling up with someone on the coldest mornings.

that last one you definitely thought about from time to time...

You could hear shouts and the swishing of brooms as you finally got to the quidditch field. You hid by the entrance, peaking your head around the corner just in time to see Changbin neatly block the quaffle from going in, catching it effortlessly before nonchalantly tossing it to another Gryffindor player.

He look so handsome, drenched in sweat, cocky grin adorning his face as he floated like an angel in the sky. You could stay there for hours watching him play, but you had a job to do.

You moved farther from the field, finding the quidditch pitch and entering quickly; You were lucky that there wasn’t anyone changing at that moment, cause you couldn’t even think to check before entering. You looked around, trying to located Changbin’s stuff quickly before getting caught snooping around.

luckily it wasn’t too hard, as you recognized the sneakers he wore everyday in front of a bulky duffle-bag. You gently placed your bundle of flowers on top of the bag, finishing with a few adjustments to make sure it was set up perfectly. And just as quickly as you entered, you scampered away not slowing down until you were a good hundred feet away from the field.

You took a deep breath, feeling all your nerves on edge as you quickly pulled out the same book you’ve been reading recently and flipped to the page you were on. You planned to be sitting in the grass on the way to school, that way you would be able to see the smile on Changbin’s face that you adored so much. 

You tried to steady your breathing, wanting to appear as relaxed and natural, but inside you were screaming. You felt nervous, but also excited. 

Around ten minutes had passed, when suddenly you felt someone lean down beside you and sit with you in the grass. Startled, you look at the figure beside to you reveal Felix, beaming a smile almost as bright as the sun.

“Hey (Y/N)! What’s up?” Felix greeted. You made note of the place in your book before closing it and facing Felix.

“Nothing much, just reading.” You answered, trying you best to sound casual and calm. But inside, you were freaking out. Why was Felix with you? And what about Changbin!? What if he comes while Felix is with you? It ruined your whole plan!

“Cool, I’m waiting for Changbin and Jeongin.” Felix explained, glancing down his watch before looking back at you, “They should be done practice soon.” You hummed, turning to look in the direction of the field.

“Mind if I chill with you while I wait?” Felix asked, to which you nodded and you sat quietly, while Felix began to talk about the Charms class the two of you shared. 

You really tried to pay attention to what Felix was talking about, but your mind was glued on Changbin and the roses. Would he like them? Was the note you wrote too forward? Would he show the boys he played quidditch with or not?

You were snapped out of your daze by the sound of fast footsteps and a shout of excitement that sounded a bit too familiar. You looked at Felix, who shrugged at you, before looking in the direction of the footsteps to see Changbin running up the hill with a tired looking Jeongin trying to catch up.

“Felix? Felix!” Changbin cheered, waving the roses in his hand, beaming with joy, “I got another one!” You felt your nerves be replaced with butterflies, feeling a bit relieved that Changbin seemed to like the gift.

“Another what?!” Felix hopped up, approaching his friend who ran straight into him, knocking the two of them to the ground and almost crushing you in the process. 

They both let out a fit of giggles before Changbin sat up, and showed off the roses you spent almost an hour cutting and pruning for him. His hair was still sweaty and tousled, and he had dry dead grass on his shirt from the fall, but you couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful he had ever looked.

“My secret admirer! They gave new a new gift and a new note!” Changbin squealed, laying back in the grass and clutching the bouquet and note to his chest. Jeongin finally arrived, huffing and puffing before sitting in the grass beside Changbin, lightly kicking the older boy’s shoulder.

“Was it really necessary to run?” He pouted, clutching his stomach like he was gonna puke.

“What does this note say?” Felix asked, reaching for the note, only for Changbin to jerk his arm away so Felix couldn’t grab it.

“None of your business!” Changbin barked, before letting out a breathless chuckle. Felix frowned, crawling on top of the Gryffindor boy to wrestle for the note, to which Changbin easily gave up, opting to gently brush his fingers against the lavender roses.

Felix began to open the note, before glancing at you and closing it up again with a pout. You blinked a couple times at Felix before realizing he didn’t want you to see the note (as if you didn’t write it; but to be fair he didn’t know that). You quickly avert your gaze down to the grass as Felix read the note silently. Jeongin was quick to move over to Felix and read it as well over his shoulder; it was fine, you already knew what it said:

Dearest Changbin,

It’s me again. I hope you enjoyed the chocolates! These aren’t nearly as tasty as my last gift, but they are much more pretty.

Flowers are used to convey feelings and meanings. Do you know what lavender roses mean? They represent love at first sight or enchantment. And you have definitely enchanted me! Every time I see you, I feel like I fall in love all over again.

I hope you enjoy these flowers, they are almost as beautiful as you! (you could use something that smells nice after practice anyways <;3)

Your Secret Admirer

“How cute!” Felix gushed, grinning at Changbin who was still playing with the flowers like some sort of lovesick puppy. Your face flushed at Felix’s comment, feeling a bit embarrassed, but also relieved he reacted positively.

“This one is a bit more forward than the last one, huh?” Jeongin suggested, smirk on his face as he folded up the note and handed it back to Changbin. He opened it again, rereading it and smile growing with ever passing second.

You wanted to explode when you saw his reaction; his ear flushed and his nose crinkled cutely as Changbin let out a silly giggle.

“Oh, (Y/N), just so you know what’s up, Changbin has a secret admirer.” Felix explained and you tried your best to try and act like this was news to you.

“You seem pretty happy about it..?” You timidly asked, shyly looking at Changbin. He shifted so his elbows rested under him, holding his head and shoulders up. You secretly were just trying to find out if he really like it or he was feeling pressured, as you remember him mentioning that.

“Its nice...” He mumbled, little grin on his face before he sighed and looked over the note again, “I just wish I knew who it was...”

“(Y/N), you wouldn’t happen to have a clue to who Changbin’s secret admirer is? Maybe one of the ravenclaw kids?” Felix asked, causing the three boys to look at you; Changbin blinked expectantly at you, making you look away and shaking your head no.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t heard anyone mention anything.” You answered, which was technically the truth. After all, you haven’t talked to anyone about being his secret admirer. 

Changbin sighed, laying back in the grass before pulling gently at the petals on one of the roses, rubbing in between his fingers. He smiled to himself before sitting up.

“I guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll just have to figure it out myself.” He hummed, a newfound determination in his voice., “With whatever little clues I get, I will find out who it is!”

“You sound serious.” Felix chuckled, “I guess we’ll have to try and help you figure it out too.”

You felt nervous about that; sure, you thought you were pretty inconspicuous about revealing details of who you are (basically none), but the idea that all eight boys would be trying to find out the identity of the secret admirer made you anxious. 

Changbin hummed in agreement before finally sitting up and brushing the stray bits of grass out of his hair. You secretly wished it could have been you who brushed your hands through his hair...

“Well, we should probably get going. I have to shower before dinner.” Changbin said, gently setting the bouquet down in the grass before smoothing out his dress shirt. 

You watched, hands folded over the book in your lap and Changbin helped Felix stand up, while Jeongin followed suit. Changbin picked up the bouquet again, clutching it fondly to his chest with a bright grin. He then turned his attention to you, catching you off guard.

“See you around, (Y/N).” He hummed and you swore you felt your heart stop. This might have been the first time he mentioned you by name and honestly, it surprised you that he even knew it. 

“Y-yeah! for sure...” You stammered, waving at Changbin as the boys left, leaving you alone in the grass. 

----------

“Wow! The first snow of the season!” Jisung gushed, pressing his cheek up against the cool window to get a look outside, “It so pretty out!”

Chan, Jisung, Felix and Changbin were once again in the ravenclaw common room, just relaxing and spending some time together after a long week of school.

 With the winter coming closer and quidditch season ending, they spent a lot more time in the common room that usual, which you definitely didn’t mind; You just “happened” to be there most nights too, reading up on your book or studying for upcoming tests, but above all else, wanting to be around Changbin.

It had been a few weeks since your last gift to him, since you wanted the next one to be something special. You spent a lot of time thinking about what exactly you wanted to give him; most things you thought of didn’t seem special or good enough to give someone as special as Changbin.

“You can see the big puffy flakes falling down!” Felix exclaimed, smile bright as he squished beside Jisung to see out the window. You watched the boys with a small grin, stirring the tea you had and trying not to giggle at how cute they looked.

“Come look Bin, you always love the first snow.” Chan said, waving over Changbin who sat on the floor at the coffee table by the sofas, seemingly focused on something else.

“Yeah in a minute,” He hummed, playing with a white piece of paper. You watched him unfold it and fold it again and again, flipping it over, rubbing it between his fingers, deeply analyzing it. He was sitting cross-legged, dark shaggy hair messily covering his forehead and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He looked handsome when he focused so much, but what was he looking at?

“Binnie, why are you still looking at that note?” Jisung sighed, coming back over Changbin and sitting beside him. 

Note? He was looking at your note..?

“Because,” Chagnbin sighed, setting it back down on the table brushing his hands through his hair before leaning back, “I haven’t gotten another note for weeks now...”

It hurt you to see him look so defeated, and you promised yourself you would never let him go this long without a note again. You felt guilty, but you just wanted to give him the best gift you could, so maybe it was worth it..?

“Awe, don’t worry dude!” Felix comforted, sitting down on the other side of him and wrapping his arm around him, “I’m sure they just have something cooler prepared that takes more time.”

“what if they don’t like me anymore..?” Changbin sighed weakly, biting his bottom lip and picking up the note again, holding it gently. 

You wanted to scream at him that it wasn’t true, and that he was silly for even thinking that, but you held back. You had to give him a new note and a gift now, so you needed to keep this charade up for a bit longer. You took a sip from your tea and flipped a page in your book, trying to not look like you were listening except you were fuming inside.

“Nonsense!” Chan huffed, coming to sit across from them, “Listen, I don’t know why it’s been so long since you got a note, but I’m sure your secret admirer has their reasons. Maybe they are scared you don’t like the notes and gifts. Maybe they have something big prepared like Felix said. Maybe they did give you something but it got lost or taken. My point is, the least likely scenario is them not liking you.”

“I mean, maybe....” Changbin said flatly, looking at the note in his lap sadly. The sight broke your heart and you suddenly felt like such an idiot. Changbin shook his head and set the note back on the table, “I don’t know. I just... I hope you guys are right.”

“Of course we are right,” Jisung said simply, patting Changbin on the shoulder reassuringly, “What reason would this person have to suddenly not like you? none! And there is so much to like about you, right guys?!”

Chan and Felix nod in agreement, trying desperately to cheer the dark haired gryffindor up. He let out a weak smile at his friend’s efforts, but looked back down at his lap sadly.

“Thanks guys...” He said softly, folding his hands in his lap and playing with them, seemingly defeated. 

That sad look was the last straw for you; feeling like you wanted to cry at the sight, you got up quietly and left the common room, determined to get a gift for Changbin now.

Luckily for you, you had the perfect idea after hearing the boys talking earlier.

It was freezing out, the crunch of fresh fallen snow under your shoes as you walked outside. As much as you hated being out here without a coat, you were fueled by the need to make Changbin smile. 

Using a spell you had learned a few years ago, you were able to gather up the freshly fallen snow from the sky, catching it in a crystal ball to make a snow globe of sorts. You would have loved to make an ornate stand for it, but it was almost curfew and you needed to get this to Changbin by tonight. The ball by itself would have to do; besides, maybe Changbin would like it more this way. Being able to roll it around to see the first snow of the year whenever seemed like something he would prefer to just shaking it like a normal snow globe.

Coming back inside and dusting yourself off, you try to neatly and hastily write out a note for him, trying to convey your feelings with every quill stroke. You re-read it, making sure it was perfect before folding it up and carrying your stuff back towards the common room. The only problem now, was there was no wrapping or box you had with you to put it in. And how would you be able to give it to him without him knowing it was from you?

Maybe you couldn’t give it to him tonight. If they just weren’t in the common room, you could sneak up to your room to be able to wrap the orb quickly, but going through the common room with them there was impossible to not be seen. Would tomorrow be better? But the idea of Changbin going to bed disheartened and sad made you feel heartbroken. There was no way you could wait to give it to him but-

“Hey (Y/N) what is that?” Jisung asked, standing out in the hallway right outside of your common room, with Changbin. The two of them had an armful of baked goods from the kitchen.

You freeze in place, feeling like you’ll be sick. You had both of them staring at you for a moment, looking down at the open globe in your hand and the note and you were speechless.

You were done for.

“It’s.. uhmmm...” You mumble, but Changbin is quick to notice the white note in your hand and snatches it from you in a moment.

“It’s from my secret admirer!” Changbin squealed, face lighting up as he unfolds the note and reads it. As he reads through the note, his face grows brighter and brighter and you can’t help but smile back at him, even though your knew you were fucked.

“What does it say?!” Jisung screamed, trying to read it too. He quickly grabbed it from Changbin and began reading it out loud.

Dearest Changbin,

Let me apologize for the long wait for this gift. I was trying to find something special and meaningful to give you to be able to show my love for you, so it took longer than expected. I promise to show you my love more thoroughly from now on.

I have gathered the first snow of the season for you, wanting you to always have a precious and magical moment on hand whenever you need it. Every moment I spend thinking about you is precious and magical for me.

I hope you enjoy this gift, I know how much you love the first snow of the year &lt;3

Your Secret Admirer.

You felt your face heat up as Jisung read your note out loud, not thinking about how cheesy it sounded until it came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)! Explain yourself!” Jisung shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

Shit, I guess it’s time to come clean and confess. You felt sick to your stomach at the idea of telling Changbin to his face that it’s been you all along, but here goes-

“Yeah (Y/N)! Where did you find this? Did my secret admirer give it to you to give to me?!” Changbin said, face serious, yet he was absolutely dead wrong about the situation. But you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you would be able to sway them away from suspicion of you.

“No, I found it out here sitting by the wall.” You said as nonchalantly as possible, giving Changbin the snow globe. He quirked his brow at the clear crystal ball, before giving it a shake and seeing the snow inside appear and whirl to life. His face softened and he smiled fondly at the small ball.

“I didn’t see who left it, but I didn’t want it to break or be kicked, so I was coming to bring it to you.” You said, gazing at Changbin’s gleeful state and stifling a smile. At least the plan was a success, even if this isn’t what you had in mind.

“See? We told you they were waiting to give you something special buddy!” Jisung said, shaking Changbin’s shoulder before wrapping his arm around his friends and looking back to you, “Thank you (Y/N) for the delivery!”

“Yeah, thank you (Y/N).” Changbin hummed softly, his smile warm enough to melt away the cold you experienced going outside without a jacket. You felt your face heat up as you looked into Changbin’s eyes. He broke eye contact first, looking back down at the ball fondly.

“Of course.” You whispered, feeling like every cell in your body would burst at this moment from a whole conglomerate of feelings.

“Alright lover-boy, lets get these snacks back to the boys.” Jisung said and pulled on Changbin’s arm. They boys departed towards the common room before Jisung called back to you.

“Aren’t you coming too, (Y/N)?”

“Right! Yes, of course.” You confirmed and scurried to catch up to the boys, releasing the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding.

How you avoided being found out was a mystery. Blame it on the brainlessness of boys....

---------

“(Y/N), do you have the notes from Friday?” Felix asked, tugging at the arm of your robe, “Chan spilled water in my bag by accident and ruined mine, so if I could just borrow them to make a copy, I’d really appreciate it.”

It was a week later, and you had been racking your brain for what your next gift to Changbin would be. You weren’t exactly sure how much longer you should stay secret, but the thought of actually confessing made you feel sick. 

But for now, you had more important things to focus on, like school; more specifically the class you were currently in.

“Yeah, totally!” You answered Felix, digging through your bag for your notes and handing them to him, “Sorry, my hand-writing is a bit messy...” He dismissed you, flipping through the pages before frowning.

You stiffened when you realized a moment too late what you had just done.

“Your handwriting looks... familiar.” Felix said chewing his bottom lip until it clicked where he recognized it from. Felix gasped before tugging at your arm once again, “This looks like the love letters Changbin’s been receiving! Are you-”

You quickly hushed the boy, feeling your face heat up. Fuck. 

Felix calmed down a bit before whispering “Are you Changbin’s secret admirer?”

Felix looked at you expectantly. It would be fruitless to lie to him at this point; you could tell he wouldn't believe you even if you tried.

“You can’t tell anyone, especially not him.” You whispered back feverishly, feeling sick to your stomach. How silly of you! Of course Felix would recognize your handwriting, it was obvious. And with how excited he always seemed about the situation, of course he would have looked at the handwriting on the notes a lot.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

“I promise I wont tell him!” Felix said seriously, before giggling like a school girl, “(Y/N), that’s so cute! How long have you like him? You should have asked me to set you up! Also-”

“Felix, can we talk about this in a place that’s not so public...” You whined, looking around the crowded classroom. You suddenly felt exposed, like everyone was looking at you and like everyone knew, because it wasn’t just your little secret now.

“Of course, of course.” Felix said and turned back to his work, but only for a moment to scribble out a note and pass it to you, without lifting his eyes from his assignment.

He talks about the notes all the time, you know. You make him really happy :)

The corners of your lips quirked up, before you mumbled out a shy ‘good’ and focusing on your work again. You were stressed about someone finding out, but at least it was Felix out of all people. You knew he wouldn’t tell, no matter how excited he got because Felix wasn’t the type to break a promise. 

But still, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread in your chest.

Class seemed to drag on, but the moment it ended you quickly packed up and tried your best to leave the classroom without having to talk to Felix about your little crush. It was bad enough that Felix found out, but you didn’t want to get into details with him about your feelings. So you fled, trying to get away as fast as possible.

However, you weren’t so lucky, having Felix corner you in the hallway and drag you off to the entrance hall for some privacy. Great...

“Okay you have to tell me everything!” Felix gushed, not letting go of your arm. You frown and chew your lip nervously, feeling incredibly embarrassed about the whole situation. You stood silently, looking at the floor as if you were guilty and in trouble for something.

“It’s okay (Y/N)...” Felix said softly, coaxing you to look up at him. He grinned at you encouragingly, “I won’t tell anyone, I just want to know.” You took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh. He wouldn’t leave you alone until you told him about your feelings for Changbin, so you might as well get it over with.

“I don’t know when I started liking him. Since I first saw him I think.” You began, feeling the heat rush to your face. You weren’t able to look at Felix, so you just stared at the floor, fiddling with the edge of your tie.

“I overheard you guys talking about how he never got asked out one night in the common room and I wanted to change that, but asking him out seemed too scary... So I decided to be his secret admirer instead.” You finished simply, rubbing the nape of your neck. Felix stood silently for a moment, lips pursed as he thought. He let go of you, folding his arms over his chest.

“Its the muscles right?” He finally said, smirking at your embarrassed state, “You find his muscles attractive and that’s why you like him, right? I can’t say I blame you though, They are quite a sight...”

“What? No! That’s not the reason!” You stammered out a bit too loudly, eyes shooting up to see Felix’s smug expression. God you wanted to punch him right now.

“I mean, he is handsome and his muscles are cool and all....” You admitted, smiling to yourself as you thought about Changbin, “But I like how passionate he is. And how he’s kind and loyal. And how he’s a good friend above all else.”

“Awe, you’re smiling so hard!” Felix teased you, cooing at how flustered you were getting. He poked your cheek with his finger, smiling when you swatted his hand away,  “You must be imagining him right now.” “Stop teasing me!” You groaned, pushing him away from you and covering your face with your hands. This was going to be unbearable now that Felix knew.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Felix apologized, reaching over to rub your shoulder. You glared at him, feeling sick to your stomach still.

“You should tell him it’s you though.” Felix suggested, before perking up as he got an idea, “Ask him to go on a date during winter break!”

“Are you crazy?!” You screeched. You shook your head disapprovingly, moving to go and sit down on the steps of the entrance hall. You placed your head in your hands and let out a tired sigh. Felix slowly sat beside you, placing his arm around you in comfort.

“I want to tell him, but I’m honestly scared to...” You confessed, looking up at Felix, who was listening to you intently. A sense of doom looms over you at the thought of confessing, “I mean, what if....”

“What if..?”

“What if he finds out its me and.... feels disappointed?”

“Why would he be disappointed if it was you?”

“Because, I’m me and he’s him!” You sighed exasperated. You didn’t know when you started crying, but you felt a tear drip onto your lap. You wiped it away with a sniffle, trying to calm down. Feelings you didn’t even know you had started arising and for some reason, talking to Felix made you feel comfortable to confide in him.

You look down at your shoes, bouncing your knee anxiously as you spoke, “He’s Seo Changbin! He’s cool and he’s popular because he’s the sweetest; he’s the guy that is never rude and he never leaves his friends alone. He always puts himself wholeheartedly into everything he does and he never gives up, no matter how unlikely things will work out for him. He’s such a good person!”

Felix listened to you ramble, nodding along and rubbing your back to hopefully sooth you. You hung your head and let out a sigh, like all the life in you was expelled with that one breath.

“And I’m me... I’m the loser who has no friends, who always has their nose in a book because it’s easy to be alone if I pretend it’s by choice. I have a crush on a guy I barely have spoken to and I wasn’t even sure knew of my existence until a few months ago! I keep to myself, always observing as if I’m the background character and he’s the main character.” You wipe your eyes one more time as you finish rambling, feeling the lump in your throat as you tried to calm down a bit more.

“The background character isn’t supposed to be with the main character. That’s not how stories go...” You finalize, clutching the sleeves of your shirt with a crestfallen expression.

You didn’t quite think about why you were so afraid to tell Changbin it was you, but now it all suddenly made sense. You didn’t feel that he would have feelings for a nobody like you when he was someone like him. It just didn’t seem possible for him to have any interest in you, that’s why being a secret admirer worked so well for you.

You could tell him your feelings without him being disappointed it was you who felt that way.

“Good thing this isn’t one of your silly stories then.” Felix said firmly, not looking over at you. He was still rubbing your back, his determined expression a stark contrast from his gentle movements.

“Listen (Y/N), I know it’s scary and I know you don’t feel like you’re enough, but I can assure you, you are.” Felix explained seriously. His expression softened a bit as he flashed you a small smile, “You are smart, and you’re kind. You’re clearly very thoughtful to do all for this for Changbin. He be a fool to not like you.”

“You have me to support you and cheer you on now. I’m telling you, as your friend,” Felix nudged you a bit at the word friend, trying to cheer you up out of your somber mood, “You should tell him it’s you.”

“I don’t know...” You hummed weakly, feeling like there were a thousand doubts and negative thoughts stirred up in your mind. It all seemed like something any good friend would tell someone to comfort them.

“It’s not fair to neither you nor Changbin that you’re choosing to cheat the both of you out of happiness over a ‘what if’.” Felix said simply, patting you back one last time before retracting his hand to lay in his lap. 

Upon feeling his hand leave your back, you turned to look at Felix, with him staring directly back at you. His lips were pulled into a thin line, with his eyebrows furrowed in a stern, yet sympathetic expression before he finished, “Don’t let yourself sabotage your happiness like that.”

That seemed to spark a sense of hope in your chest, as you let your brain think on the concept for a moment.

It wasn’t fair of you to take away all possibility of Changbin being confessed to. It always made you happy to make him happy; so if Changbin finding out who his secret admirer was would bring him joy, it made sense you’d do everything in your power to make that come true. 

Besides, you knew Changbin was kind, so if he did turn you down, it would be in the most polite way possible, which wouldn’t be so bad...

“I have to tell him.” You deduced after thinking in silence. Felix seemed to perk up at your change in attitude, grinning at your newfound resolve.

“I agree!” Felix said with a nod, “Whatever I can do to help, let me know!”

The cogs were already turning in your head, formulating a plan on how exactly what you were going to do and how you were going to do it. 

------------------

Changbin hummed the tune he had stuck in his head all morning as he sat at his desk. Drumming his pencil against the edge of his potions textbook, he tried to focus on the current homework he had, but it was impossible at this point.

Changbin sighed, giving up on focusing and pulling open the drawer on his desk to pull out all the notes you had written him.

These days, all Changbin could think about was his secret admirer. The thought of them ran through his mind 24/7; what you looked like, what you sounded like, what kind of perfume you wore, what your favourite colour was, why you liked him. Who were you?

Re-reading the notes, he felt his face blush. It was refreshing for someone to care about him so much. He felt spoiled and couldn’t stop the grin on his face from creeping up, especially at the lines where you said you loved him.

He had read the notes over at least a thousand times by now. He could recite them by heart, noticed small things in the handwriting itself, like the way you crossed your ts or how you swoop the g more delicately while writing his name.

Changbin groaned, folding the notes back up and stuffing them in his desk drawer carefully. It had been a couple months since he first got one and he was no closer to figuring out who it was. Nobody seemed to act any differently around him since he started receiving the gifts, and he didn’t notice any lingering stares. Not to mention, he’d not been able to recognize the handiwork from either the gifts or the notes.

It all was so incredibly frustrating and disheartening to him. How was he ever going to figure out who it was if they never gave any clues away?

Changbin reached for the crystal ball you had gifted him from the top of his desk and rolled it around in his hands as he thought about if he’d missed any clues. The globe grew cold in his palms, snow whirling to life inside as he passed it between his hands mindlessly.

There was a sudden knock at his door that pulled him from his thoughts. He was about to yell and ask who it was when a piece of yellow parchment quickly slipped underneath the door. Changbin took a moment to realize what it was, before almost falling out of his desk chair. 

Letters didn’t usually get sent to him directly (or anonymously) unless it was his secret admirer.

He snatched up the paper from his floor before beaming at the familiar way he was addressed at the top of the letter.

Dearest Changbin,

Hello. I am writing something a bit longer so please forgive no gift this time. However I think you’ll probably enjoy today more than any gift I’ve given you so far.

It must have been hard to try and figure out who I am from just my notes. I have meticulously crafted each one as to not give myself away. Even my gifts have everything to do with you and your preferences, and nothing to do with me! But I think you have suffered enough now. If you would like to, You can meet me today, face to face.

Changbin felt his heart stop at that sentence. He was really going to know the answer to the million dollar question. Changbin shook his head and went back to reading before he got to ahead of himself.

However, instead of telling you my identity outright, I think you’d much rather figure it out yourself with a series of clues. Finishing this little game would be so much more satisfying than just being told the answer, right?

So without further ado, your first clue: (to be fair, its more like instructions...)

You need to go to the library and you will find a book sitting on the table you usually sit at with your friends (The table in the corner by the windows). The book has a dark blue hardcover and golden-edged pages. It is my favourite one; I think I’ve read it over a dozen times and I have my own copy that you can borrow anytime :)

Inside the book is another note which has your next clue!

Good luck! I know you’ll figure it out soon, brilliant Changbin!

&lt;3

Your Not-So-Secret Admirer.

Changbin grinned at the playfulness of his secret admirer. It was hard to convey personality through writing a lot of the times, but they managed pretty well in Changbin’s opinion.

He slipped on his shoes excitedly, lacing them up tight before he folded the letter up and stuffed it in his pocket. He could feel the giddiness bubble up in his chest from the fun nature of this little treasure hunt.

He thought to grab his scarf and jacket too, just in case this little game lead him outside, he didn’t want to freeze before he got the chance to meet you.

He went out to the common room, going to make his way to the library when he was stopped briefly by his friend on the couch.

“Hey Bin, where are you headed?” Jeongin called to his housemate, standing up when Changbin barely spared him a glance.

“My secret admirer left me a treasure hunt,” He hummed happily. Jeongin insisted to come too for help, but Changbin simply waved the boy off, “I’ll tell you everything later!”

“Okay, but don’t stay out too late!” Jeongin called to Changbin as the older Gryffindor rushed out the door.

Changbin could only hear the rush of blood in his ears and the pounding in his chest as he weaved through countless stairs and hallways on his way to the library. He was feeling nervous, although the didn’t really think there was reason to be.

It was clear by now that you liked him a lot, yet he was worried about meeting you face to face. What would he say? What if he didn’t live up to what you expected of him?

Changbin wiped his palms on his trousers to hopefully try and aid the clammy feeling before he pushed open the doors to the library. He made a b-line straight to the table he usually sat at, but was surprised to see Chan and Jisung sitting there working on homework.

“Hey Changbin, you okay? You look like you ran here.” Chan chuckled, setting his quill down on the table. 

Changbin barely spared either of them a glance, looking around the table for the book. When he couldn’t see it, he circled around the table, looking at the chairs pulled up against it with a huff.

“Uh... Bin? Hello?” Jisung called out to his friend, “What are you looking for?”

“A book.” Changbin said urgently, finally looking at his two friends when it seemed to be gone, “Its got a blue hardcover and gold pages and was supposed to be at our table.”

“Oh yeah, I think something like that was at the table before we got here.” Chan hummed, looking over at Jisung, “You put it away, right?” 

Changbin felt his heart drop; this was not happening right now.

“Yeah, I moved it so we could study.” Jisung nodded, looking back at Changbin, who was mentally freaking out by now.

His one chance to meet you and figure out who you are and his idiot friends had to move the one thing he needed? He felt like he was going to scream.

“Where did you put it!?” Changbin asked anxiously, slamming his hands down on the table and making the other two boys jump in their seats.

“Relax!” Jisung cried, before turning to point at the library cart that sat about twenty feet away, “I placed it on the cart for re-shelving. It should still be there.”

“What is it?” Chan asked, as Changbin scurried off to the cart without answering. He looked through a few of the books on there before he spotted the one he was looking for on the bottom shelf. Changbin huffed out a sigh of relief, grabbing it from the cart and bringing it back to the table.

“Its a clue from my secret admirer.” Changbin answered; he felt exhausted after experiencing so much panic over almost loosing the book. He turned it over in his hands, opening the front cover.

The other two boys watched as he flipped through the pages before landing somewhere in the middle, where a white piece of paper stuck out of it. You also seemed to highlight the words on the page to create a simple message that read “you are my light”. Changbin felt a bit embarrassed about that, but he thought it was a sweet touch nonetheless.

He carefully unfolded the letter and took a deep breath before reading.

My Dearest Changbin,

Congratulations on finding the first clue! I hope it wasn’t difficult for you.

He smiled at the addition of “my dearest” when addressing him; it made Changbin’s heart flutter just a bit to think of being someones’ dearest...

You know what goes good with a book? Cookies and tea! I often like curling up with a good book, a gingersnap cookie and some chamomile tea in the evenings. The only thing that would make that experience better is if we did it together...

Changbin blushed at the thought of someone reading to him in the evenings; his head in your lap as you read him whatever you wanted. He could almost taste the flowery teas and freshly baked cookies and feel the softness of your fingers through his hair as you told him a story....

Focus Changbin! Focus.

Your next clue is in the kitchen! I made you some cookies and tea to enjoy before we meet. I wasn’t sure what you liked best, but luckily I had help with that!

You will meet a friend of mine there; You know him pretty well :)

He will have your next clue. 

Good luck, I know you’ll figure it out soon, my brilliant Changbin

p.s. please bring the book with you, its my copy :p

&lt;3

Your (Even Less Of A) Secret Admirer

“Wait, you’re meeting them today?!” Chan exclaimed excitedly, leaning over the table to look at the note. Changbin lets the boys take the note to read it over as he flips casually through your book. 

It was filled with annotations and other random notes in the margins. Things that you really liked, ideas the text made you have, even just things you felt or thought about in that moment. Whoever you were, you seemed like a very thoughtful and detailed person, which Changbin could appreciate

Jisung seems to recognize something in the writing, frowning as he finishes reading the note and then looking at the book in Changbin’s hands. It seemed oddly familiar to him....

“What book is that?” Jisung asks, peering cautiously at the cover. Changbin  closed to book to look at the cover before shrugging.

“Don’t know, there isn’t a title on it. They probably have a dust jacket that goes over top with the title.” Changbin hummed, showing his ravenclaw friend the book.

“I think I have a guess on who your admirer is, Bin.” Jisung said nodding to himself as he looked back at the note in Chan’s hands. He grinned a bit as all the gears snapped into place.

“Who!?” Chan asked as he shot out of his chair. Changbin looked at Jisung expecting an answer, but he just shook his head playfully and sat back down. Changbin felt like he could explode right then from anticipation and he wanted to strangle Jisung for not spilling his thoughts; But deep down, he was also pretty glad Jisung didn’t say who he was thinking of. 

It would have ruined the fun.

“It’s the gingersnaps and chamomile that gave them away. The book looked familiar, but if it’s who I think it is, they always have a cup of chamomile when they read.” Jisung revealed, before pointing down towards the bottom of the note, “But I wonder who this mysterious “friend” is?”

“The only way to know if for me to go find out.” Changbin said hastily, scooping up the note and putting it in his pocket with the letter from before, “Thank you for almost ruining everything and then fixing it again, I’ll see you guys later!”

“See you buddy!” Chan yelled to Changbin as the Gryffindor boy rushed away, onto the next location. 

The kitchen was a bit of a walk, so Changbin had some time to speculate.

It annoyed him that Jisung seemed to know before he did, but that must mean the Jisung just knows the person better. Which wasn’t surprising to Changbin, since he was the head of his house and it was his job to know people. Maybe that meant they were a Ravenclaw?

And judging from your scribbly book, that was a good sign that he was right on that.

How many Ravenclaws did Changbin really know? All the members of the quidditch team, Jisung and most of the leaders and/or older Ravenclaws that the younger students depended on, and the few odd students he’d met in his classes. Not really narrowing it down too much...

Whoever you were, Changbin was starting to feel sick at the thought of meeting you. It made him nervous to think about what to finally say when you were standing in front of him.. It was very clear that you liked him a lot, and he wanted to have your first meeting be the best possible interaction. But what then? Would he go out on a date? He’d like to think so, but that could lead to complications...

What if you went and you realized you didn’t like him? The only person who has ever sought after him suddenly deciding they don’t want to be with him anymore made his heart ache.

But what if it went well? Changbin knew he had to do this. He had to know who you were and even if it ended terribly, he at least could look back at this time with fond memories. 

That was the mindset Changbin had as he entered the kitchen, trying his best not to ruin anything the staff were working on. Through the window, he could see it started to snow outside, the soft powder floating through the air. 

Sat next to the window on a stool, plate of cookies on the counter beside him, was someone Changbin didn’t expect to see.

“Felix? What are you doing here?” Changbin asked, walking up to his friend. He noticed two teacups sitting beside Felix, as the hufflepuff smiled at his friend dearly.

“Waiting for you, silly.” Felix hummed, pulling up a second stool beside him and patting it with his hand, “Come sit.”

“So you’re the mysterious “friend” of my secret admirer...” Changbin said simply, pulling the stool out to sit on it. Felix nodded with a ‘mmhmm’, focusing on pouring some tea into the teacup adjacent to Changbin.

He had so many questions for Felix swirling around in his head as he stared blankly at his friend; Did he always know? Was he pretending he didn’t know whenever he got a note and gift? And if he knew, why did he keep this information from Changbin?

 As if he could read his mind, Felix said “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, and I can’t answer all of them.” The hufflepuff stirred some sugar into his own tea with a spoon, before setting it gingerly on the counter.

“What can you tell me?” Changbin asked, taking a sip of the tea. It was chamomile, like your note said; he grinned at the taste, somehow sweeter because it reminded him of you.

“For starters, I just figured out who it was a week ago, so I haven’t betrayed you for that long.” Felix chuckled, snatching a cookie from the plate and dipping it in his tea, “And believe me, I’ve wanted to tell you about a million times since I found out.”

Changbin grabbed a cookie and took a bite out of it, the rich, spiced flavours contrasting with the tea well. He gazed at his friend, feeling a bit on edge and antsy. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking again.

“What-”

“Hold it right there buddy!” Felix quickly interrupts, excited grin growing on his face, “You’re aware this is sort of like a game right?”

Changbin nodded, not sure what the other boy was getting at.

“Well, I am only allowed to answer three questions.” Felix said, holding up his fingers to emphasize his point, “And you can’t ask outright who they are. Other than that, you can ask almost anything!”

Changbin took a minute to process the game, before scoffing to himself with a smile. Of course you wouldn’t just let Felix outright reveal your identity; not after all the work you put into this little treasure hunt Changbin was on.

“Choose your questions carefully.” Felix warned, leaning back and taking a sip of his tea to let Changbin have some time to think. 

What he didn’t expect was the Gryffindor to stand up from his spot and start pacing, seemingly deep in thought. It was endearing he took this little game that seriously.

Changbin’s brain was racing a million miles an hour. He wanted to know everything about you, but what was the most important think to ask?

After a few moments, Changbin sat back down and took a deep breath. Relax. He was meeting you today anyways, so he should just ask what his instincts tell him to.

“Ready?” Felix asked nonchalantly, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands under his chin. Changbin nodded firmly, determination gleaming in his eyes.

“How do you know them?”

“I first met them in a class the two of us share. I sit beside them and we exchange notes for the class pretty regularly.” Felix answered, as directly as he could without being too obvious.

“Okay... that narrows the options.... What gift was their favourite to make or which were they most excited to give me?”

“That’s technically two questions in one, but I’ll allow it because I actually know the answer to both. They said they liked making the snowglobe best because it was a very special and magical process, but were most excited to give you the chocolates because it was the first gift.”

“They sound like they’re sweet...”

“They are.”

Felix stared expectantly at Changbin, “Last question?”

Changbin had a question in mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should waste the last question on something so pointless. But it was killing him and he needed to know the answer to the question he’d not been able to stop thinking about since this whole thing started.

“Why do they like me?” Changbin practically mumbles the last syllable, eyes glued to the window. He felt his face flush as he watched the snow fall softly.

It wasn’t that Changbin didn’t like himself; he liked to think he was pretty confident guy overall. But the gifts and the notes just seemed so special, he almost wondered why he deserved them more than who was giving them to him.

“They think you are kind.” Felix began, voice gentle as he looked at his friend fondly, “And they think you’re a good, loyal friend. And above all else, they love how you’re so passionate about the things you care about.”

“That’s why they like you.” Felix hummed finally, taking his focus away from Changbin to drink more tea. 

Changbin felt like he was frozen in time. He wasn’t sure what he expected from the question, but he didn’t expect such deep and thoughtful reasons.

After a moment, Changbin was finally able to bring his gaze back to his friend, who was beaming back at him. Changbin couldn’t help feel bashful, his heart feeling like it was going to pound out of his chest as the corners of his mouth quirked up.

“I need to know who they are.” He said dreamily. Felix hummed, setting his teacup down before reaching into his robe. He gingerly pulled out a sealed white envelope and handed it to Changbin.

“This is for you. It’ll tell you where they are waiting for you.” Felix explained, as Changbin took the envelope and tore it open. Inside was a familiar looking white note.

My Dearest Changbin,

I hope you’re not mad at Felix from keeping my identity secret. He’s just being a good friend to me :p

Anyways, I’m sure you figured it out by now. And if you haven’t, that’s okay too. You’ll know soon enough.

Changbin felt like his entire body was asleep, tingling from head to toe. He could hardly handle the anticipation as he read your note.

I know you spend a lot of time with your friends in the Ravenclaw common room. I assume its your favourite spot to spend time, right?

Mine is the covered bridge that goes over the ravine; Sometimes I visit Sundial Garden too because it’s close, but I find the open airiness of the bridge helps me think.

I am waiting for you on that bridge. I hope to see you soon. &lt;3

Your Patient Admirer

Your note basically confirms you as a ravenclaw student, as you mentioned seeing Changbin spend time in the common room. But that barely mattered now as he knew where you were and that you were waiting for him.

He folded the note up and put in in his pocket, Giving an expectant look to Felix.

“They said they are on the bridge over the ravine.” He mumbled, almost confirming it to himself. Felix nodded, expression playful and soft as he watched his friend be practically frozen in place.

“I...” 

“Why aren’t you leaving, dude?” Felix asked, tilting his head slightly as he watched the Gryffindor tap his toe nervously

“I’ve wanted to know for months now, but I’m scared.” Changbin confessed, letting out a breathless laugh, “I don’t want to disappoint them...”

“I can guarantee you, that is impossible.”

“how can you be sure”

“Because!” Felix sighed exasperatedly, standing up and grabbing onto his friend’s shoulders, “How on earth could you possibly disappoint them when they adore you this much?”

“I don’t know!” Changbin huffed out, shaking his head before gazing at Felix, “I guess I’m just scared we’ll spend time together and they’ll realize they don’t like me...”

“Bin, you are sounding irrational.” Felix deadpanned, squeezing the gryffindor’s shoulders and slightly shaking him, “Don’t you want to know who it is? Don’t you want to at least try and be with this person?”

“More than anything.” Changbin said firmly. As afraid as he was, he was sure he wanted to at least try

“Then go!” Felix chuckled, pushing Changbin away from him, “Go. I promise, it’ll be okay!”

“You’re right.” Changbin hummed, pushing aside his doubts, “Thank you Felix.” Felix nodded, sending his friend off with a thumbs up and a ‘you got this!’ as Changbin dashed out of the kitchen and on his way to the covered bridge where you were waiting.

He wanted to figure out who you were before arriving, but he couldn’t seem to think of who his secret admirer could be. You had a class with Felix (not really helpful because Changbin only shared one class with Felix, where they sat together), You were a ravenclaw (there were thousands of ravenclaws), and you enjoyed tea and reading. 

Not to mention, he also didn’t recognize the handwriting, so he’s never borrowed notes form you before...

The wind was howling a bit more now as the snow fell in big, wet puffs. Changbin felt glad he brought his scarf with him as he walked along the path towards the bridge.

You, on the other hand, should have looked into what the weather was supposed to be like. You leaned on the railing, looking out into the snow covered ravine, sniffling slightly as your nose was running. 

You debated on going back inside, knowing that Changbin would have to walk through the clock tower to get to the bridge anyways; but that thought stopped when you noticed a figure in the distance from your peripheral

Oh god, what do you do? Should you approach him? No because that would mean you’s have to awkwardly walk towards each other and wait to say anything. But if you pretended like you didn’t see him, he might not think you were his secret admirer! But there was nobody else outside because it was cold and snowing so how could he possibly think it was someone else? Should you just turn to look at him? At least then you’d be addressing-

“Hi.” Changbin greeted shyly, sliding next to your spot on the railing to look out on the bridge.

Oh god.

“Hello.” You replied, chewing your bottom lip nervously, stealing a glace at the gryffindor. Were his cheeks red from the cold or because he was embarrassed? 

“You found me.” You mumble meekly, catching the way Changbin’s face morphed into a grin.

“So it is you?” He chuckled, turning towards you and smiling. You turned to look at him properly, nodding and letting and awkward giggle out. You weren’t sure what to say to him in this moment.

“Wow.” Changbin said simply, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “had no idea it could have been you...”

Oh god.

He was disappointed. 

You should have known to never confess. God you felt so stupid! Of course THE Seo Changbin would never-

“I mean, aren’t you way out of my league?” Changbin said with a grin, as your eyes shoot up to meet his. He held that expression he always had whenever he would receive a gift; smile so wide his cheeks poked out, nose slightly crinkled and eyes glittering. You found yourself smiling too.

“Me? I don’t think you have any idea how wonderful you are if you think I’m out of your league...” You joked boldly, immediately looking down at your shoes out of embarrassment. Changbin let out a giggle, feeling like he was on cloud nine.

It was you.

Changbin never even considered you an option when thinking about his admirer. You were diligent and soft spoken and definitely seemed like you’d never be interested in a loud, childish, muscle-head like Changbin. He always thought you were attractive, but he thought he never had a chance with someone like you.

So imagine his surprise when he walked onto the bridge and saw your figure in the distance; he felt like it had to be a prank. But the closer he got the more he could see you were nervous and that nobody else was around to scream ‘gotcha!’ .

It was you and Changbin couldn’t have felt happier.

“Thank you, for everything.” Changbin hummed, handing you your book back. When you grabbed it, he swore he felt a shock go through his body. 

“I- uhmm...” Changbin stuttered, clearing his throat while looking at the ground. Changbin had never felt nervous like this before, but he willed himself to be brave and just speak his mind.

“Listen,” he began, looking back up at you to see your anxious expression. He couldn’t help but think you looked cute, “I have never felt as cared about as I do because of you. It seems almost impossible for me to ever come close to making you feel so loved... But I want to try.

“So, do you maybe want to head inside and we can talk some?” Changbin asked, looking at you expectantly, “Perhaps over a cup of tea in the Museum or astronomy room?”

“As a date..?” You asked teasingly, causing Changbin to scoff

“yeah, as a date silly.” Changbin laughed, shaking his head playfully at you.

“Sounds lovely.” You accepted giddily. With a burst of courage, Changbin slips his hand into yours, eyes widening by how cold you are.

“Oh, I’m sorry I kept you waiting out here for so long, you’re freezing!” He huffed out, hastily taking his scarf off to wrap it around you delicately. He tucked it into your coat, lightly brushing your cheeks with his thumbs; you swore you would faint as Changbin smiled at you wrapped up in his scarf.

You tried not to cheer out loud at his sudden carefulness. His scarf smelled like him and you knew that you’d have a hard time wanting to take it off, even when you got back inside.

This all felt like a dream...

You slipped you hand into his once more as the two of you walked back to the castle, where you swore you could die happy.

--

“Oh dear, he looks like he’s trying to play it off but you can tell he’s upset...” Minho winced, as the table watched Chan have to break the heart of a poor Slytherin boy. 

You watched apologetically, instinctually grabbing at Changbin’s hand as his arm rest around your shoulder. He pulled you closer to him, pressing you against his side as he frowned at the exchange.

When Chan returned, he let out a sigh, slumping down in his chair.

“Asked you out?” Seungmin asked, to which Chan nodded weakly.

“Yeah, he said he wanted to take me out to honeydukes this weekend, but I politely declined.” Chan said simply, crossing his arms over his chest as he furrowed his brow, “He seemed a bit embarrassed. I hope he’s okay...”

“Oh man, that’s rough.” Jeongin hummed, tapping his pencil against the edge of his herbology textbook.

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, turning to look down at you endearingly as you snuggled closer to your boyfriend.

Changbin, your boyfriend.

The thought of it made you both giddy.

“Yeah well, lucky for you to have the only person confess to you be someone you liked back!” Jisung pouted, patting Chan on the back, “some of us have to be heart breakers!”

“Not me.” Changbin mumbled, grinning dreamily before placing a sweet kiss on your lips (and consequently causing the rest of the table to groan).

Maybe it was alright that Changbin didn’t really have people confessing their love to him all the time. It used to bother him, but now that he got to have you, he was happy to not be a heart breaker.

[stainedglasstruth]

PARTIES: @lukas-dark-miracles & @stainedglasstruth TIMING: Late May LOCATION: Something Wicked News SUMMARY: Lukas goes into the office to drop off some papers and finds Arden working late. CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

Lukas liked his freelancing writing position. It meant that he could make some money that wasn’t tied to his Sire - not that he had a problem with that. It also meant that he could write which was something that he loved to do. Even when he was a priest - often the quiet time before masses when he wrote his homilies was part of a comforting routine. He grew to miss it over the years - the ability to give advice was something that he always loved to give- so it felt natural to pick up the metaphorical pen and write advice columns. So, with the deadline being the next day, he had gone to the office to drop off some of his proofs. While they were sent digitally - he always felt better if there was physical ones as well. 

He hadn’t expected to meet anyone at the office as the sun had set a little while ago. So, when he heard the scuttle of life he for a moment paused his hands still holding the envelope as he cleared his throat to make the other aware he was there. 

“Oh Hello,” Lukas said, his head tilting slightly at the younger woman. “I haven’t seen anyone else at this time. Forgive me I haven’t gotten to meet most of the team - I’m Lukas the freelancer.” He reached out his hand for a shake wondering if that was the smartest for him to do. 

—

The awful stench that had been hanging in the air for nearly a month was really starting to kill Arden. On a bad day, a strong perfume could set her off, so between the stress of everything that had been happening recently and the stinkiest perfume that was the smell of sulfur and burnt charcoal that lingered outside, she was in hell. That was to say, she wasn’t at peak performance these days, and she was a little behind on her work. So, she had stayed late at the office, intent on playing catch up.

She was just about to finish up and head home when she heard someone clearing their throat over the music quietly drifting from her computer. Startled, Arden’s head whipped up as she tore her gaze away from the screen. There was a strange man in the building, and that realization did nothing to calm her heart rate. She was opening her mouth to ask him what the fuck he was doing there– in a more polite manner, of course– when he began to speak. 

Lukas the freelancer, right. She knew of him, of course, but had never seen him before. Because he apparently came in– her eyes flicked down to check the time, and fuck, when did it get so late– in the evenings. Hmm… Maybe he worked another job during the day? 

“Hi,” she greeted, examining the man. He was older than her– maybe mid thirties– seemed to take care in his appearance, strikingly blue eyes behind his glasses. She couldn’t get a good read on his vibe yet. “Yeah, I usually head out a lot earlier, but I needed to catch up on some things. I guess I lost track of time, though.” Standing, she accepted his handshake. “I’m Arden. I must admit, I was beginning to wonder about our mysterious new advice columnist; it’s nice to finally meet you.”

—

Lukas had meant to introduce himself to the other newspaper writers, but he found timing to be complicated at the best of times. It wasn’t exactly that he couldn’t come out at earlier times, but he found it uncomfortable to do so. He figured as he grew in his new life he’d feel better about it, so he hadn’t managed to push himself to do so. After all, he had time immemorial to meet people, and he didn’t need to worry about it. Still, he thought it was nice to finally meet someone on the team. 

He briefly shook his hand, careful not to pause too long on it. He found that people felt too warm to him as of late. Although he knew well enough that people couldn’t necessarily tell by a touch he was a vampire, he was always cautious of it. He didn’t want to frighten the younger after all. Lukas laughed at the idea that anyone was wondering about him. “ Sorry to be a mystery. I just usually am busy during the day. It’s nice to meet you as well, Arden,” he said, saying her name mostly so he could remember the name to her face. After all, he’d need to be at least a bit weary of her looking into him. He didn’t think it was such a big deal when he came back from the dead, but he thought it might be a bit annoying if he was looked into. 

“Tell me, are you the same Arden that just wrote the piece about the Metal Crab Cult?” Lukas said, pushing up his glasses a bit. He had a habit of reading the paper only so he knew what his co-workers seemed to like to write. While he was a freelancer it was important to do. “It was wonderfully written, in any case. A fascinating bit of journalism.” 

—

It was a quick handshake, but jeez, his hand was cold. “Oh, there’s absolutely no need to apologize. Is this more of a side gig for you?” she asked, voicing her earlier thoughts. 

Oh no. Arden wanted to laugh, but also to shrivel up and die. He’d seen the joking crab article she’d made for that crab shirt person. She’d also just needed to write something fun, though she had put probably a little too much effort into it. “You saw that? Oh shit, well that’s mortifying,” she chuckled, grimacing slightly. “I wrote it as more of a joke than anything.” If Nath had put it up on the website without telling her, she was going to kill him. 

And by kill she meant annoy the shit out of him because she wouldn’t be able to pay her rent if he wasn’t alive to give her a paycheck. He was also a pretty good boss, she supposed. Ugh. 

“But th– I appreciate you saying that,” she smiled, pushing past it. “I quite enjoy seeing your column every week.”

—

Lukas nodded slightly with a smile and said, “Yes. I find writing very enjoyable but I am pretty preoccupied with other matters. I do get to write the occasional op-ed for other papers though.” Some of them were Catholic papers, which Lukas did find a bit amusing if it wasn’t technically sacrilegious. 

Lukas' head tilted slightly at the other’s thoughts on her own article wondering if he should have even mentioned it. Reflexively he almost said language - a habit of him being well a priest but he managed to stop himself before he did. “Oh - still it was an interesting piece of writing, even if it was for a joke. You have quite a way with words.” 

It was true, at least for Lukas. He did enjoy reading the younger's work, and most of the work the newspaper did. It was one of the reasons he had applied. “Thank you,” He said with a smile. “I do hope people like it after all, although I do have to say sometimes I get some very strange questions. It can be rather difficult thinking of good replies. Still, that’s part of the fun isn’t it?” 

—

Other matters. That was very unspecific. She could understand him not wanting to share much about himself with her, a total stranger, but man, the mysterious freelancer really seemed to want to stay mysterious. It was a slightly annoying trait to someone like herself who enjoyed solving mysteries and getting definitive answers. It simply piqued her curiosity even more. “Oh, that’s great,” Arden smiled. “I do some occasional freelancing on the side myself– op-eds are fun. Are there any topics you tend to flock to?”

He looked confused at her explanation, though she couldn’t exactly blame him. There wasn’t a good way to say ‘a stranger on the internet thought it’d be funny, and I committed to the bit’ without sounding strange. “I appreciate you saying that.” The smile she gave him was genuine, even as she tried to push the embarrassment aside. It’s fine, she’d just think about this moment in the middle of the night and wish for the sweet release of death. 

Her eyebrow raised ever so slightly as he thanked her. Lukas was almost certainly not a fae, then. That meant, as much as she didn’t want to have that conversation again right then, she should warn him. “You know, there’s a superstition about thanking people here– something about owing a debt to another– so most folks try to avoid it. Just as a heads up,” she shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “The column has been pretty fun. You’re a good writer, and it’s obvious you’re trying your best to help people. And there definitely are some interesting questions, yeah,” she laughed. 

—

Lukas nodded at the idea that op-eds were fun. It was interesting to him to debate an opinion, but that didn’t often happen as of late. After all, She was rather hard to debate with and he was often not wanting to upset her. “Honestly anything that catches my eye - but I know that’s not a particularly good response,” He said with a bit of a laugh that managed to go to his eyes, “I speak a lot on subjects mostly in the humanities and somewhat related to philosophy, I believe the last one that was just published was a response to an op-ed on how artificial intelligence spells doom for Descartes thought experiment.” He had thought it was rather silly, but knew that most people weren’t particularly eager to discuss it. It was at least safer than him admitting he was also writing on religion which - he probably shouldn’t be. 

He tilted his head slightly at her advice not particularly understanding it, but accepting that maybe it was true. Although Lukas was from Wicked’s Rest and hadn’t heard anything about it before. Then again it might have been her subtle way of saying she wasn’t human.  “Fair enough. I hope you don’t take offense.” At her laugh he smiled again and said, “I appreciate it. I think if someone asks for advice that they should at least be taken seriously, although I must admit sometimes it is hard to understand some of the questions. Still, that’s what research is for.” Pausing for a moment he continued and said, “I don’t mean to pry, but is that why you're still here? Are you working on something? I’d admit that I’m not sure if I can help but I am willing to try.” 

—

“That’s fair,” Arden shrugged. It might not be the most specific response, but it was honest, and it was certainly easier to write on topics that you found interesting than slogging your way through a piece you didn’t give a shit about. “Being knowledgeable and opinionated in so many different topics is a good trait to have. Even more so for a columnist.”

Her eyes lit up when he mentioned his latest piece. “Oh, that sounds fascinating. I must admit, I’m a bit of a novice when it comes to philosophy– I’m more familiar with some of the more well-known and bigger picture ideas than I am with the specifics. But it is a topic I do enjoy contemplating.” She should really see if her mother still had some of her father’s books on philosophy. That would mean going to the house and having a conversation with her mother, though, and that was something she would rather prefer to avoid. 

Her hands flew up in a placating manner as she shook her head. “Oh, no, none taken,” Arden reassured. Just don’t need anyone unknowingly getting bound to a fae. “I think that a very admirable way to look at it. This town does tend to attract some more eccentric individuals, so I understand there being some difficulty at times. If you ever need help with research, feel free to reach out. I’m a nerd,” she admitted with a grin, “I find it satisfying.”

“Oh,” she looked down at her desk, a nearly finished document open on her screen. “I was just catching up on some work– some things that needing editing or double-checking, mostly. This smell’s been triggering my migraines, and I’ve been trying not to overdo it, so I’ve been a little behind I’m nearly done for the evening, however, I appreciate the offer.” She flashed him a smile before cocking her head to the side. “What has you coming in, though?”

—

Lukas gave a light laugh at the idea and said, “I appreciate that, although I think it probably makes me pretty awful at dinner parties.” He wouldn’t really know, he didn’t tend to go to small gatherings of people - or hadn’t for a long time. Still, his Sire often said it so he figured it was probably true. After all, most people probably didn’t want to talk to him about such specific topics. 

He nodded slightly and said, “I thought it was at least. I’m hoping it does well enough as a piece.” He wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t more familiar with philosophy, most people didn’t spend their time on such specific questions and answers - especially with much bigger things happening around. “That’s fair enough. I assume that you are more focused on news and the like, which I think is rather important. However, if you do want to know more on philosophy I never mind talking through it.” He found that it was easier than reading it at the very least. While he knew it was necessary to be specific when writing philosophical texts, it didn’t make them any less tedious. “Epistemology can be rather tedious when you can’t talk about it, ironically.” 

Lukas nodded, still noting that he might want to stop saying thanks to people in case. At the offer of help he couldn’t help but chuckle a little and say, “I might have to take you up on that. I’ll admit I’ve been having to use the internet to look up some words but I don’t think they are really in the context that it was given.” He hated to admit the fact that he was bad at language - but being a priest and then mostly talking to a centuries old vampire for the majority of his life had limited his vocabulary in a very specific way. “I think I’m fairly good at figuring out what their asking, but I’m not that proud to admit where I might not.” 

Lukas nodded slightly, knowing that the smell had been bothering a lot of people. He wasn’t quite sure why it wasn’t with him, but he had decided to not look particularly into it. After all, he wasn’t looking for more mysteries.  “I’m sorry to hear that. I think resting would be the best when you can.” At the question he remembered that he was probably waiting to long here. It wasn’t necessarily the conversation, although he did find Arden fascinating in her replies. He didn’t really want to go home and knew as soon as he left he would have. He didn’t realize the other would have figured that out. At the fact being exposed he gave a sheepish grin and said, “ You are quite right I did have a mission -  I have to admit I get  pretty distracted by conversation, but you should finish your work. I just needed to drop my papers off and I’ll get going.” Moving towards the closed door he put his carefully printed drafts into the bin making sure that they didn’t move fixing his glasses as soon as he was done. 

—

She laughed. “Maybe you’re just not having dinner with the right people, then,” she shot back, thinking of the wide variety of nerdy dinner conversations she’d had over the years. 

It was understandable, that desire for a piece to do well, that anxiety that the work you thought highly of and worked hard on wouldn’t be as well received as you’d like. Arden gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, I’d love to give it a read when it’s published. And, AI is a pretty hot topic these days; I’m sure it’ll do well.”

“That is true,” she nodded. “I’m also a bit more familiar with the ethics side of things. But I might take you up on that offer sometime. I agree, though, it is a subject that is much easier to discuss than read about. And I’d be happy to help where I can.” She dug into her pocket, pulling a business card out of her wallet and offered it to him. “You have my work email, but if you ever need to reach me, my phone’s the best place to contact me.” “And, hey, it’s a good thing, being able to admit you need help.” It was one she certainly struggled with.

“Oh, it’s okay,” Arden shrugged. “I’ve been trying to take it easy, and working on finding some medication to help out, too.” At his bashful expression, she felt the need to reassure him. “It’s okay, I was literally just about to finish up, and I appreciate the conversation.” It was true, she was pleasantly surprised to have been able to finally meet and speak with him. As he walked over, she sat back down into her seat, quickly checking over the open document. “I’ve probably kept you longer than you intended, though, I apologize. I understand if you need to get going,” she flashed him an apologetic smile.

—

Lukas chuckled with the other and shrugged, “You’re probably right. I’ll have to expand my dinner parties.” After all, soon enough he would have a lot of people around him. Maybe some of them would be interested in philosophy. It was certainly possible. 

“I’ll make sure to send you a copy,” Lukas said with a nod especially at her assessment. After all, AI was the latest in a craze of apocalyptic dread. It might actually be fascinating to write on that as well. He’d have to remember that. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.” 

Lukas nodded thinking that it was usual for people to start with ethics, although he didn’t have too much fun speaking on that particular subject with Her. When you simply didn’t care about the subject, it got a little - wonky. It was hard trying to form the words to describe that though. Still he took the other’s card and nodded, “I’d love too. I always thought if I hadn’t become a writer I would have liked to be a philosophy professor, so you can let me know if I chose the right career.” It wasn’t fully a lie, although he had always wanted to be a Priest. What was a priest if not a writer and speaker after all? At the confirmation that she wouldn’t mind helping he nodded again and almost said thank you - but instead said, “I appreciate it.” 

“I hope you find some,” Lukas said simply his mind now going out the door and down the street trying to figure out what else he was going to do with his night. He supposed he could start checking on his flyers to make sure they were properly viewable. “No worries. I am always interested in talking to others and it’s nice to finally meet other writers here.” He said with an easy smile. It was true enough, even if he hadn’t properly sought any of them out. While he was sure he could move around earlier in the day, he really didn’t prefer it. He felt a lot more comfortable at night, and probably would for a few decades more. “It was wonderful to meet you, Arden. I wish you luck on your next article and that you get home soon.” 

—

“I would appreciate that. And anytime,” she smiled. Sometimes you just needed someone to hype you up a bit in your writing. Her mind flashed back to that evening at the Red Eye. Arden had gotten off the tiny stage feeling miserable, and Andy had entirely turned her evening around with her compliments. …it had also helped that she was adorable, though. 

A philosophy professor, that was interesting. She grinned at the comment, smile softening at the mention of her finding medication. “I appreciate it.” Even if his attention was already elsewhere, she would take all the well-wishes given on that specific matter because fuck these migraines. 

“Likewise, it was nice to finally meet you, Lukas.” She caught his eye, mirroring a smile back at him. “I appreciate it. I hope you have a goodnight.” The door shut behind him, and she was left alone with her thoughts once again. 

Well, she had met the mysterious advice columnist, although meeting him had not helped make him much less mysterious. If anything, Arden was only more curious about the man now. He seemed nice, and she had enjoyed talking to him, but… He didn’t come in before sunset and his hand was icy cold. Sure, there could be other explanations, and even if he was, that didn’t necessarily make him bad. Still, there were red flags, and, even just generally, something about him put her a little on edge. Her eyes lingered on the door for a moment before she turned back to the computer with a sigh. 

[frustrated-researcher-diary]

#3 - Still standing

The results of a paper that I co-authored came out. The PhD candidate who mainly wrote the paper submitted it to the same journal that rejected mine (see entry #1). But, contrary to my case, his paper got only minor revisions.

As you might understand from my previous entries, this led me to doubt once again my capabilities and ask myself: "Why did his paper receive minor revisions, and mine got rejected straight away?" This feeling only lasted half a day, though. As I said in my previous entry (#2), I remembered that I needed to exploit my competitiveness and convert this disappointment into an additional drive to get things done and improve.

Speaking of, I gotta say I am starting to have """fun""" again with the research and other works I am carrying out. I am making progress, I am following deadlines and not feeling so miserable like before.

Anyhow, I have not much to add, except for some little things I thought about:

1) Do not focus on just one thing at a time - make sure that your research work consists of extra side projects. One might think that it is better to devote all your energy as a researcher into just one big project. However, I realized it is better to work on more projects for three main reasons. First, you might get bored of your main project from time to time and it is better to have some distractions. Second, research is a risk-related activity (entry #1). Placing all your bets on a single project that might turn out to be a failure is not the smartest idea. Third and last reason: finding yourself a niche is absolutely what a researcher should do, but, again, also branching out and exploring different topics does not help.

2) "L'eccessiva teorizzazione paralizza l'azione" - in English this sentence (taken from the book "La Ricreazione è finita") should somewhat translate into " If you think too much about something, you'll hardly ever get it done". And I really agree - to the extent that I am willing to remind myself this wherever I ponder too much. Most of the time, I stop doing things because I cannot predict 100% what my research activity is going to go in the long run. Thing is, some things are out of my hands and I have to accept it.

D.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Best Friends

Summary: When the reader has to write a paper for class on her best friend, it’s not too difficult of a choice but does lead to the reader getting closer to both of the most important men in her life...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 4,200ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N: The reader is 22 years old during this part. This part takes place before/right after the Bad Night timestamp during the reader’s senior year of college. Enjoy!

________

“I’ll see you at your place tonight,” said TJ, pecking a quick kiss on your lips after your last class of the day. 

“Have fun in film,” you smirked. 

“Why on earth I took that class I will never know.”

“To impress my dad,” you said.

“Not impress little lady. When your parents and people are talking about stuff I’d like to be able to understand what the hell they’re saying,” he said.

“My dad gave me a book and I didn’t have to take film during my easy senior year,” you hummed. “Go sassypants. You gotta get to the other side of campus.”

“Goodbye my love,” he said, planting a big kiss on your cheek as your professor walked up the aisle. TJ ran off and you finished gathering up your things, chucking your bag over your shoulder.

“Professor,” you said. “I have a question on the paper?”

“I have another class to get to but we can walk and talk,” he said. He held open the door for you and you smiled. “What’s on your mind Y/N?”

“So I know it’s the best friend paper and all that but what if you don’t…” you trailed off.

“There are alternatives in the paper outline you can choose from. Although I do believe you have a best friend. TJ’s has already responded he’s doing his paper on you.”

“I know. I mean he’s my best friend absolutely.”

“But you don’t want to write your paper on him,” he said, the two of you going out the front of the building.

“Well...I do but the problem is I kinda have two best friends.”

“Ah,” he said, heading towards the lecture hall across the quad. “Afraid of some jealousy?”

“No. I know picking TJ would be easy and...I was adopted four years ago. My dad wrote me this letter and it’s very important to me. He’s my other best friend see.”

“What’s your question Y/N?” he asked, coming to a stop at the edge of the quad.

“I don’t know how to pick and I know the deadline is tonight for our subject choice.”

“Who do you feel closer to?”

“I love them both, just differently.”

“Write about your father Y/N. I think it’s quite obvious to anyone that TJ is hopelessly in love with you and knows the same is true for you. Your father on the other hand, an adoptive father, it may be a nice gift to share with him. That’s the whole point of the paper, to share it with the person at the end of the assignment.”

“Thanks professor.”

“Mmm, that smells so fucking good,” whispered TJ in your ear that night while you worked over the stove.

“Yes it does,” said your dad at the counter, reading through a script. TJ groaned, hugging you from behind. “You’re making more of that right?”

“You already ate dinner,” you said.

“Just warning you now I’m stealing the leftovers,” he said, sighing when he turned a page.

“Not if we eat it all.”

“This is shit,” he said, turning the script to TJ. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”

“What the hell is this?” he asked after a moment. “They didn’t even format the scenes right.”

“Maybe I ought to just take a break the rest of the year. Not like I’ve not been crazy busy for the past fifteen years,” said your dad, setting the script down. “You doing better in your film class or it still kicking your ass?”

“It’s okay. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. I’m barely passing the weekly quizzes,” said TJ, letting go of you and sitting up on the counter, putting his feet on it when your dad nodded it was okay. “Thankfully the final makes up like 80% of your grade but I’m just nervous it’s gonna fuck up my GPA and that’s gonna fuck up job interviews and everything else.”

“Stay,” he said. TJ raised an eyebrow as he left and went down to your room, returning with a book in his hands. “Between this and me and Dee I bet we can get you an A.”

“Study later boys. I’m on a date,” you said, stirring the chicken in the pan.

“She practiced making that twice already this week,” said your dad as TJ took the book.

“Don’t you have another one of your children to annoy,” you said. 

“Not at the moment,” he grinned, scrolling through his phone and sighing.

“What’d mom say about no work emails after six,” you said, turning off the heat on the stove. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his script, heading to his bedroom. TJ hopped off the counter, leaving the book behind as you picked up the skillet and TJ carried the dishes out to the table on the back porch. 

“This looks amazing,” he said after you dished some up for him. “Thank you so much for cooking tonight.”

“You’re welcome,” you said, giving him a quick kiss. “I will be right back with the drinks.”

You ducked inside and went to the bar, the twelve dollar bottle of wine you’d picked up after class no longer sat on top. Instead was something Italian looking, the corkscrew and two deep glasses set out beside it. You looked around, picking up the bottle and smiling at the note underneath it.

Happy two year anniversary tall munchkin & Thomas 

-Love Mom & Dad 

“Thank you!” you called out, smiling as you carried the items back outside, TJ closing the door after you. “Look what my parents gave us for our anniversary dinner.”

“How much does that cost?” he asked.

“No idea. You know my mom loves her wine,” you said. 

“Well let’s hope they have good taste.”

“Shit I hope we can afford wine like this someday,” said TJ after dinner was done and packed away, the two of you laying on the back porch on the double recliner. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to drink it out of the bottle,” you said, passing it back to him with a giggle.

“Less dishes,” he said, taking a swig and finishing it off. “I think we could.”

“We could what?” you asked, TJ setting the bottle down on the ground and fixing the blanket over yourselves out there on the cool March night.

“Afford stuff like that someday. For special occasions. Once my student loan is paid off we could get out of an apartment, maybe get a place on the outskirts of town where it’s cheaper. Between the two of us working at firms I think we could afford a splurge like that,” he said.

“You’re talking…” you trailed off. “You want to get a house together someday?”

“I want to do a lot together someday,” he said. You turned your head up, TJ looking back down, his cheeks flush, a soft smile on his face. “I just want to do it with you is all.”

“You want to live together someday? Like, live live together?”

“If we got married, yeah. We’re at my place half the time anyways.”

“Do you want to maybe get married someday?” you asked. 

“Someday,” he said with a nod. “I know you weren’t sure if that’s something you ever wanted. If you don’t, I’m still right here until you tell me to go.”

“TJ last time we talked about that we weren’t even dating.”

“I know,” he said. You rested your head on his shoulder, his own tilting and resting against yours.

“Thomas. Why would you ever want to possibly marry me someday?”

“Because I’ve loved you since I met you and I want you forever. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable amount of time together,” he said. 

“Thomas,” you said quietly, closing your eyes.

“Gorgeous.” His arm curled around your side and you caught a whiff of his cologne, body tucking in closer to his. “I don’t want to spend any more of my life without you in it. I made it the first eighteen years and I am not going back to that without a fight. Why would I not want to spend the rest of my life with my best friend?”

“Don’t make good points,” you said.

“If you don’t want to get married someday that’s-”

“I never said that. If someone in particular were to ask...I would happily marry him.”

“Y/N.”

“If you asked, someday...the rest of my life and then forever with my best friend sounds like a pretty good idea to me,” you said.

“Y/N.” You opened your eyes and looked up, TJ staring right back.

“If you ask, you’ll like my answer. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said softly. 

“Please do,” you said. “And I’d like a little house with you someday. Maybe get a dog or even one of those kids.”

“Would you ever want children?” he asked.

“Yes. But I have one condition.”

“I’d like to adopt at least one,” he said. You sat up, TJ joining you, arm still around your waist. “That is negotia-”

You leaned forward and kissed him, climbing into his lap, TJ laying back down on the lounger.

“I take it that was good?” he asked when you broke away for a second.

“That was my condition,” you breathed out, kissing him again. “I want to adopt. I know it works. They wouldn’t feel any different than kids we made. They’d never grow up like I did.”

“Honey your parents-”

“I know they do. I meant the stuff before I got here,” you said. 

“When we’re a little older if that’s okay? I’d like you all to myself for a while,” he said, tilting his head up to catch your lips.

“I’m more than okay with that,” you said. You grabbed his hands and placed them on either side of his head on the lounger, leaning down and kissing him hard, eyes flashing open when you heard the back door. You and TJ both turned your heads, your parents in their swimsuits and a pair of towels tucked under their arms. 

“That’s my girl,” said your dad with a smirk, your mom grabbing his hand and dragging him down the stairs. “What’d I do?”

“I think we should move this inside to somewhere more private,” you whispered, TJ smiling back up at you.

“Yes please.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Dad,” you said on Saturday night. He looked up from staring out at the dark river from where he sat on the railing down by the pool. “Can I sit with you?”

“Of course. You don’t have to ask. Rare to have you home on a Saturday night, especially now that school’s all done with,” he said.

“TJ and I don’t need to spend every second together. So we gonna talk?”

“You okay? You’ve seemed so good after we had our talk last week.”

“When I flipped my shit during finals you mean,” you said, sitting up on the railing with him. “No, I'm good now. But see now that I've graduated from college and all that, I think I’m entitled to something.”

“Oh do you now,” he chuckled. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Yeah see I’m basically a real adult now and I let it slide last week cause things were rough but you told me something that we didn’t talk about and that's kinda a problem.”

“What didn’t we talk about?”

“My paper I wrote about you. The fact it made you cry, the only time I’ve ever really seen you cry. The fact it got rid of some fears you had. Any and all of the above are things I think we should talk about.”

“You’re such a little shit you know?” he said, smiling as he bumped your shoulder.

“I learned from the best. Come on. I ain’t a kid anymore. I want you to be able to talk to me too.”

“You’re still a kid. You’ll always be a kid,” he said. 

“I’ll always be your kid but I can have your back too.” He turned, smiling to himself. “What were you scared of dad?”

“I’ve always been slightly concerned that how you feel about me, unconditional love, that it could become conditional again. It’s a very, very small fear but it’s one I’ve never been able to shake.”

“For fucks sake,” you said, shaking your head. You threw it back, a little too hard, and ended up overcompensating by leaning forward and promptly landing straight down on the small grass area about ten feet down. 

“Y/N,” he said, jumping down to the grass by the time you were sat up. “Are you okay?”

“Are you kidding me?” you groaned, your whole left leg scraped to hell, your sweatpants shredded. “I just bought these!”

“You’re bleeding,” he said, scooping you up in his arms, stepping onto the stairs and heading back across the lawn with you.

“We’re still having this conversation,” you said.

“Mhm,” he hummed. He carried you into their bathroom and set you on his vanity top, grabbing the first aid kit out of the drawer.

“Don’t tell mom. She’ll freak even more than you are,” you said.

“So you’re gonna wear pants the next three weeks when it’s in the nineties?”

“Whatever,” you said. He grabbed the scissors from the kit and cut off the one leg into shorts, peeling the pant away.

“Jesus, Y/N,” he sighed. “You got your whole leg.”

“Sorry,” you said.

“Just don’t like seeing you hurt honey,” he said, picking up the bottle of alcohol.

“It doesn’t even hurt. I’ve had worse,” you said, taking the bottle of alcohol and climbing into their tub. “Can you hand me…”

He was staring at your leg, his face hard.

“Can you help me?” you asked, holding out the bottle. He nodded, walking over with a towel. You kicked up your injured leg and turned so when he poured the alcohol it’d run down into the tub. 

“This will-”

“Ow ow ouch,” you groaned as he got your leg, the cuts burning but at least it was clean now. The bleeding was already stopping or stopped in most places and you dropped your leg down when he finished, patting your leg off for you.

“Come here,” he said, helping you over the edge of the tub, having you sit on the edge while he stuck a few bandages over the worst spots. 

“I’m fine,” you said when he was done and putting the bag away.

“You’ve had worse. I know,” he said, closing the cabinet door. 

“You’ve read my file and sat in with me on therapy. You know I have.”

“I don’t like when you get a paper cut. I know you’re tough and you’re fine. I still don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“Well you never got to clean up my scrapes as a kid so I guess we’re even now.” You walked over to him, crossing your arms. “So. We were talking about your fear you have.”

“Why do we have to talk about this? There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I wrote my paper on you because I love you. You wrote me a letter and well I wrote you a paper so just…”

“Just what?”

“Just know I love you ya big idiot,” you said, walking past him. 

“Y/N,” he said, catching your hand. 

“What.”

“I’ve had a number of best friends before. I have a number of them right now, including your mother, your uncles. I have had a lot of best friends in my life so far.” You looked back at him, his hand falling away. 

“Dad it’s just called the best friend paper. Don’t get weirded out or-”

“I’m not. You’re my best friend too. I’m just a lot better at this when we’re talking about your feelings and not mine,” he said. 

“Dad there’s nothing you could ever do to make me not love you. Just...mom’s not the only one in the house you can talk to. Shit talk to TJ. He really likes you.”

“I appreciate the offer and I will take you up on that more often. But I’m pretty sure TJ only likes me because of you. I’m fairly certain he’s still afraid of me even.”

“That’s not true. Trust me,” you said.

“He didn’t seem so hot on me helping him with his film class this semester.”

“Yet he did get help from you and he got an A- because of it. There’s things about him you don’t know about dad. He likes you more than just for my sake,” you said. You headed out to his room, your dad nodding and having you follow him out to their private balcony.

“I didn’t particularly care for his father the few times we’ve met,” he said.

“His dad is very much a man’s man kind of guy. Thomas is...gentle. He’s like you.”

“No he’s not. He’s better than me,” he said. You blinked, catching a quick smile from him. “Sometimes I am too protective of you and we both know it. Thomas has always known where that line is. You’ve never had to tell him how strong you are. He just knew.”

“He has but he didn’t have to put in the ground work. He’s also not my dad. I was just saying...TJ likes you and I hope someday you like him for him, not because I love him. It’d make me very happy if that could happen someday,” you said.

“You two aren’t planning on running off and getting married are you?”

“Oh my God no. We just…” you trailed off, your dad waving a hand. “Maybe someday…”

“You two had the future talk,” he said. You nodded, looking down. “You know you could always ask him.”

“I know. I just...I don’t want to make TJ carry my baggage if he truly doesn’t want to. I mean we just graduated. I’m totally cool with keeping it status quo.”

“Do you want to marry him someday?” 

“Yes. He’s the only person I’ve ever met that I just…”

“I’ve been there,” he said.

“Do you ever leave there?” you asked, lifting your head up.

“Not if you keep it alive.”

“How do you do that?”

“Put in the effort and it works out. You and TJ won’t have any problems with that.”

“Would you be okay with me marrying him?”

“It’s your life. I trust your choices and if you pick him then I’m good with that.”

“Well if we do get there we’re staying in Austin.”

“I’m more than okay with that,” he said. “Now shoo. Go change your pants before mom gets home with dinner.”

“Dad. What about the paper made you cry?”

“When I was sixteen I met my best friend. He is annoying, over protective and sometimes he makes me want to tear my hair out and scream. He’s so damn stubborn and when we butt heads, I’m pretty sure all of Austin can hear us. But I love him with all my heart and then some. He never saw broken pieces that needed to be put back together. He saw someone that simply needed a pair of safe arms to hide away in while she learned she was worthy of love again. Unconditional love at that. So sometimes we fight and scream and shout like best friends do. We argue and come back together again. But I will love him forever for not giving up on me, even when I’d given up on myself a long time before that. His name is Jensen but these days I call him dad.”

You blinked and he smiled.

“Did you...memorize that?” you asked.

“I memorized the whole thing,” he said. “The whole thing made me cry. People don’t really talk to each other like that, not out loud.”

“We do,” you said.

“Yeah but you had to hear it. That’s why we do it.”

“Why doesn’t everyone?” He cocked his head but smiled. “We shouldn’t wait until people are gone to say that we loved them, how much we loved them.”

“That’s why you and TJ are gonna be just fine kiddo,” he said. You turned to go back and change, hand resting on the door. 

“I gave grandma and grandpa the paper too. Grandpa cried if you can believe it.”

“I actually can’t. I’ve never seen my father cry outside a funeral.”

“You can cry in front of your kids, dad. All it makes us think is you’re kind, not weak.”

“When the others get a little older I will. But you, shit, let the water works flow,” he said. You rolled your eyes, opening the door. “What’d grandma and grandpa say, about the paper?”

“Oh they said nothing about the paper. I just told them they didn’t make a perfect son but they made the perfect one to save me.”

“You didn’t need saving. You would have fought and gotten here all on your own.”

“Yeah well I didn’t want to do it by myself. I love you and you’re important to me so there,” you said. 

“I did tell you I’d prove you wrong,” he smiled.

“Know it all,” you said as you headed across the room just as the door opened, in walking your mom. She stared at your leg, her eyes going wide. “I’m-”

“Why is she hurt?” she asked.

“You have fun with that,” you said, trying to duck past her but getting caught by her arms. “I fell. I’m fine.”

“I tell you two all the time not to sit on that railing and what do you do, sit on the railing,” she said. She threw her hands up and you hugged her.

“Good tactic. This one works about half the time,” said your dad as he came over and joined you.

“I hate you two,” she grumbled.

“We know,” said your dad, his arms wrapping around you both and picking you up off the ground. He set you down and you headed for the kitchen, pausing when you saw TJ’s car pull up through the window. 

“Hey,” you said, opening the front door to the porch as he got out of his car. “Is everything-”

He walked over and kissed you hard, stealing your breath away. You blinked, vaguely hearing your parents go past and into the kitchen. He held onto you tight, kissing you again, deeply, his whole body shaking.

“Honey what happened?” you asked, forcing him to break it off.

“A black civic with a UT sticker on the back was on the news,” he said. He breathed hard, hot air hitting your face. “You weren’t answering your phone and I couldn’t get ahold of your parents and I…”

“I’m right here,” you said softly. You cupped his cheeks, wiping off his face. “I’m right here Thomas.”

“You’re not allowed to go anywhere else you got that?” he said. You smiled and nodded, giving him a hug and kiss. 

“Not going anywhere without you,” you said. “Let’s go sit out back okay? I don’t want you driving tonight.”

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Your leg is hurt.”

“Just a scrape. You eat dinner yet?” He shook his head and you smiled. “Okay. I’ll get us something.”

You walked with him around the back of the house and down to the table by the pool, going as quickly as you could back inside.

“Everything okay?” asked your mom when you started to go through the styrofoam containers.

“It will be,” you said. You grabbed two plates when a container was held out to you by your dad, a pair of knives and forks on top. “He thought I was in an accident. I just…”

“Go on. Text us if you need something,” said your mom. You nodded and left, TJ better by the time you got down there again.

“I didn’t mean to steal someone’s steak,” he said when you opened the container.

“It’s fine,” you said, taking it out, TJ’s head shaking.

“No it’s not.”

“TJ. You don’t just have me. You have all of them too so when they want to smother you, let them smother you. Trust me.”

“I’m happy you have them,” he said quietly.

“We have them,” you said. He smiled and you took his phone out of his pocket when you were done dishing up. 

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you my apple ID and password so you can use find my iphone if you get scared,” you said. He took out yours and wrote his down in the notes for you, giving you a smile. “We can see each other’s shitty music choices now you realize.”

“I own high school musical. All three of them. The movies too,” he said with a smile.

“I have Hannah Montana songs. You really are my soulmate.” He burst out laughing, a pair of giggles filling the air.

Jensen’s POV

“They okay down there?” asked Danneel, poking over my shoulder from where I peaked out the bedroom window. “Oh good. They’re laughing.”

“He had a scare. She’ll fix him up,” I said. She leaned against my side, pulling my arm over her shoulders. “Honey.”

“I know. We shouldn’t spy.”

“Oh no. Let’s spy the shit out of them,” I said. She giggled, burying her head in my chest. “I mean…”

“He loves her. I know.”

“She loves him too.” I kissed her temple and smiled, someone’s plate going crashing to the floor in the kitchen. “Rock paper scissors?”

“You’re on Ackles.”

_______

[trees-writes]

Meeting in the Library

kamisato ayato x reader, just reader reading in the library and first meeting ayato near the end of the oneshot.

Today was one of those days where you have hours of free time. Your schedule is usually packed with classes and extracurriculars but today was one of the rare days where there no activities to be done except for your classes for the day.

You took this opportunity to visit the library to read a novel for your own leisure. Though you visit it daily, you most often than not spend your time there looking for journals and finishing papers before deadlines, not having a chance to read and relax, while appreciating the library’s ambience.

You went to the fiction section of the library, walking between the shelves filled with novels of different genres. Your eyes scoured over the titles on the spines of the book, looking for one that may interest you.

Your eyes finally landed on a book that sparked your interest. You’ve never heard or read of it and it was the first time you’ve seen the title. You had no idea what you would read about but you hope it would be worth your time.

You took the book into your hands and walked to your usual table where you type up your schoolworks on your laptop. It was empty much to your appreciation, and you sat yourself on your usual chair at a leisurely pace. ‘There’s no reason for you to rush right now due to the absence of deadlines.’ You gave a smile from that thought.

You opened the book once you were comfortable in your seat and you began to read at the first chapter of the novel.

The book was to your liking. You liked how to story flows and you liked how to author wrote. You found yourself to be immersed in the story you are reading, the silence of the library helping you focus on the book alone. You did not realize how many minutes or hours you have already spent reading but you could not find yourself to care. The next thing you knew you have already finished the short novel, and the sun is already setting after you peeked at the window.

You stood up from your seat and stretched your limbs, and started to walk towards the shelf where you found the book you just finished. You placed the book where it was supposed to be but as you were about to retrieve your hand, another hand took the book you just returned to its place.

You looked up at the face of the hand’s owner, a young man roughly around your age, possibly a fellow student, with flowing light blue hair. He had light purple eyes that you were instantly drawn to.

“I’ve been looking for this book, it seems you just finished reading it,” the man said in a low voice with a smile. You gave a small chuckle in response and nodded your head. “Indeed, I’ve been reading it for the past few hours. It was a good read,” you confirmed his guess.

“Well, I’m glad to meet another fan of this book. It’s one of my favorites,” he said as he held the book in his hands, turning to face you properly, “I’m Kamisato Ayato, by the way, pleasure to meet you,” he introduced himself while raising his hand for a handshake. You took his hand and shook it, introducing yourself in return.

“It’s possibly one of my favorite books now,” you told him with cheerful lilt. He smiled and replied, “I’m happy to hear that.” He gestured to the shelf where the book was previously placed, “I can recommend you other books by the same author, if you want to read something similar, I can also recommend from other authors if you want?”

“I would love to hear your recommendations, and maybe I can recommend some for you too,” you replied. “I can checkout the book first and maybe we can discuss somewhere else?” You nodded your head, and followed him to the direction of the librarian’s counter.

Ayato was able to checkout the book quickly and you and him exited the library immediately after. You stood beside the entrance of the library before turning around to face him properly. “So… there’s this new coffee shop that opened nearby, you want to go there?” You offered to him, while pointing to the general direction of where the said coffee shop is located.

Ayato smiled and you can’t help but appreciate the way his eyes looked when he did. “Lead the way,” he said. And you started walking with him following you. Perhaps you now have a book buddy along with a new favorite book today.

wrote this while trying to sleep and is very much unedited. the whole piece is quite messy overall as i wrote it on a whim. i might edit it later when i feel like it.

[tlcwrites]

Consequence

A birthday gift for @paper-n-ashes

Summary: When you steal the Supreme Leader's sweater, there are... repercussions.

Word Count: 3483

Tags/Warnings: Kylo Ren x Fem Reader. NSFW, 18+. MINORS DNI; PIV sex, unprotected sex (no glove no love), oral sex (m receiving), fingering, heavy dom/sub dynamic, praise kink, breath play, I'm probably forgetting other kinks but I finished this at 3AM last night and I'm not even sure that I used real words let alone remember what I wrote so if I missed any let me know and I'll update the tags, smuuuuuuut for daaaays, canon what's canon The Rise of Skywalker can go fuck itself mostly except for that beautiful white set of rooms on the Steadfast.

Author’s Note: It's my hetero lifemate @paper-n-ashes' birthday today (at least in my timezone for a few more hours so IT COUNTS sorry Sarah at least you got to read it yesterday) and she has been waiting SO patiently for me to finish this damn fic. I started writing it back in like November? Maybe even October? and have struggled so fucking hard with finding the mojo to finish it. Then out of the blue this week, said mojo came back and I figured Sarah's birthday was the perfect deadline. So, voila. And don't forget to go tell her how awesome she is.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SISTER IN THIRST AND SHAMELESS HOEING. I couldn't actually get you Kylo so I got you this instead. #throne room hair is the best hair forever the end

You’re perched on the sofa, open book on your lap, when the comm chimes. You can’t help your soft smile; it’s finally that time of the day cycle.

You don’t bother answering the comm, since it’s an alert, not a call. Closing your book, you rise and return it to the bookcase set into the wall of the lounge. With a gentle press, the hatch closes, and the bookcase disappears into the stark white expanse of the rest of the room, precious cargo hidden. Books are an expensive indulgence, even for the Supreme Leader.

Or whomever he choses to share them with.

You cross to the base of the stairs that lead to the chamber’s entrance and open a small compartment, also a part of the structure of the room. You toe off your slippers, setting them carefully inside the cubby. Your soft leggings pants are next, folded carefully. You start to remove your sweater as well, but hesitate. It is chilly. For all of the technology the First Order has amassed, you’d think they’d have figured out how to keep their Destroyers at a comfortable temperature.

You leave the sweater. He’ll definitely have an… opinion about it.

Now bare but for the sweater and your bra, so scant it hardly deserves the term, you take your place at the base of the stairs. The hem of the sweater brushes your thighs. Standing tall, feet together, hands clasped loosely behind you, you wait. You keep your eyes on the blast doors.

When the doors finally open, you smile softly. “Good evening, Supreme Leader.”

His cape billows behind him as he descends the stairs (he’s clearly inherited his family's flair for dramatics). As he reaches the bottom, you respectfully drop your gaze. His boots stop in front of you, your bare feet looking so small compared to his. But then again, everything looks small compared to him.

He raises a gloved hand and strokes the back of a finger down the collar of your sweater. “What’s this?” His voice is throaty and deep. As usual, it sends a thrill through you.

You keep your eyes downcast. “A sweater, Supreme Leader.”

“Clearly.” His finger continues down from the collar of the garment, caressing the soft rise of your breasts. “Perhaps I should rephrase my question.” His finger catches your nipple, and you can’t help but gasp. “What is my sweater doing on your body, when your body doesn’t have permission to be wearing anything?”

You finally risk a glance up. His face is impassive, but there’s a glint in his eyes. He’s amused.

You raise your chin. He loves when you’re confident. “It was cold.”

“Cold.” The finger continues to tease your nipple through the fibers. “In space.” The tease turns into a flick, and you barely smother your gasp. His lips twitch. “Imagine that.”

He’s in a good mood. You decide to toy with him. “Perhaps I simply need something substantial to keep me warm, Supreme Leader.”

One eyebrow raises, ever so slightly. He’s going to play along. “Do you find my care unsatisfactory?”

“Of course not, Supreme Leader.” His finger has shifted to your other nipple. You take a shuddering breath. “I would never dare to question your wisdom.”

He shifts almost imperceptibly closer to you. “And yet-” He brings that accursed finger back up your sternum, tracing up your neck and ghosting over your jaw. “-is that not exactly what you’ve done by ignoring my directive?”

Kriff.

He passes the leather-wrapped digit over your lips, stroking the soft skin. “Nothing to say, pet?”

You drop your eyes again. “My most sincere apologies, Supreme Leader.”

His hum of approval reverberates in your chest. “I imagine they will be.” He applies the barest hint of pressure to your lips. “Open.”

You comply immediately, opening your mouth enough to allow his finger entrance. The leather tastes so different from his skin. He presses the thick digit inside, and doesn’t have to say a word as you begin to suck obediently. He adds a second finger and you can’t stifle your moan.

“Good girl.”

Two words. Just two words, hummed in that honeyed voice, and you can practically feel your arousal dripping down your thighs. You glance up once more.

He’s watching you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Maker, you love his eyes. You can always read him through his eyes. He tries so hard to bury his emotions, but nothing can be hidden in their cinnamon depths. And right now, his eyes say that he’s about half a standard second away from losing what’s left of his famously little control.

Hmm. Time to have a little more fun.

You deliberately graze his fingers with your teeth, the leather of his glove supple under your bite.

His cheek twitches and you know instinctively he’s chewing on it. “You’re playing with fire, sweetheart,” he warns you.

Pulling your mouth off his fingers with a ‘pop’, you smile serenely up at him. “Whatever do you mean, Supreme Leader?”

“You know exactly what I mean,” he purrs, dragging his spit-soaked fingers along the edge of your jaw, his own clenched as he tries to keep himself in check. “Careful you don’t get burned.”

Your smile becomes less teasing, and more sincere. It’s okay, you think, knowing he’ll be able to feel your emotions. You never guard yourself around him. I trust you, Master.

There’s a split second when his eyes search yours; for permission, for acceptance, for confirmation of that trust that you hold in him and that he holds in you. It’s a breath of a moment, but he leaves his raw self exposed.

He’s affection starved, your Supreme Leader, even if he’ll never admit it. Deep inside, where even his former masters couldn’t reach, is that little boy he once was; still desperate to please and be praised by those too focused elsewhere to pay attention, and terrified of disappointing those who do. It breaks your heart that he’s spent his whole life feeling so alone.

Your dynamic fills that void in a way he feels safe with. It’s on his terms. He needs your adoration; needs your worship. He craves the affirmation. No more abandonment and fear from those he should be able to trust most; no more abuse and gaslighting at the hands of those who are supposed to guide him.

Just trust, and love. Pure, unconditional love.

He presses his lips to yours.

You whimper into his kiss, pressing a hand against his massive chest to steady yourself.

In the next moment, he scoops you up, pressing you against the window and hooking your legs around his waist. You yelp at the coolness of the transparisteel against your back, even through the sweater, but he swallows your cry as he plunders your mouth.

“Kylo,” you whimper when he lets you up for air, but he ignores you, sucking a line down your neck to your collarbone.

“Get this off,” he growls, tugging at the neckline of the sweater. “Or I’ll take it off for you, and it won’t survive the removal.”

You let go of his shoulders, grasping the hem of the top and practically ripping it over your head.

His mouth is on you in an instant, those plush lips teasing one nipple at a time through your lacy scrap of a bra.

“Maker!” you gasp, flinging the sweater in the general direction of the floor and bringing both hands to grip his hair. Frantic fingers twist his dark waves. You could write sonnets to his hair. “Kylo!”

You feel the clasp of your bra come undone. He rips his lips from your breasts, and with one barely-there flick of his fingers, the undergarment is on the floor next to the sweater.

“Did you just-” It’s next to impossible to smother your giggle when you realize what he’s done. “I can’t imagine the Force is meant to be used for that.”

Kylo ignores you, although you’re positive you can detect the barest hint of a blush on his ears. But then you’re not paying attention to his ears, as he’s sucked one of your nipples back into his mouth and is grazing it with his teeth. Your moan turns into a shriek when he hooks his arms under your legs and hefts you higher against the wall, so it’s easier for him to feast on your flesh.

He shifts your weight to one of his massive arms, that paw of a hand gripping the opposite flesh of your rear as he brings his other hand back up to your mouth. “Open,” he commands once more.

You take the two still-gloved fingers as deep in your mouth as you can, gagging slightly as he presses on the back of your tongue.

His dark chuckle is breathless. “Such an eager whore,” he murmurs against your chest, your answering whimper going straight to his cock. Pulling his hand back, he nips the skin at your collarbone at the same time he drags the fingers you’ve just drenched straight through your swollen folds below.

“Do you even deserve my fingers, Pet?” He smirks as you drop your head back and moan. “Such a wanton little thing you are.” He teasingly traces a circle around your clit with just a fingertip, satisfaction growing at the sound the movement elicits from you.

“Master,” you gasp.

Without warning, he twists you away from the window, carrying you with ease to his desk. When he drops into his chair, he’s unable to suppress a sharp intake of breath as he settles you on his lap and brings your core into direct contact with his cock, hard and throbbing beneath his trousers. The contrast of your nudity with his still-clothed body is intoxicating. He guides your hips to roll against him again, your moans simultaneous as your cunt makes slick the leather stretched taut over his arousal.

Already closer to his breaking point than he'd prefer to admit, Kylo clamps his teeth down on the inside of his cheek hard enough to break the skin, the pain working as usual to allow him to refocus his energy and reclaim control of his passions. Unhinged as his reputation is, there is part of his life the Supreme Leader rules with meticulous care- you.

He knows you love him, and you’ve declared time and again it’s unconditional and without reservation. Your submission is a gift he knows he will never truly be worthy of. Maker knows he adores you with every part of his long-shrouded heart. But the fear never leaves him. Decades of distrust and broken promises means he lives in terror of the day his tenuous temper snaps, and he horrifies you or, stars forbid, truly hurts you.

That dark voice lurking at the back of his mind teases him with a possibility somehow perversely worse than fear or injury: abandonment. That you’ll inevitably see him at his most honest; broken, contemptible. Unworthy.

He loathes himself all the more, because he knows if it comes to it, he couldn’t survive letting you go. He isn’t strong enough to endure the loss of the only light he still has.

Unaware of his internal torture, you grip the front of his gambeson and try to rock your pelvis against him, whining as you’re foiled by his hands still gripping your hips. “Master, please.”

Your voice jerks him back to reality, and your begging makes his cock twice as hard. “Something you desire, Pet?” he purrs, grateful you were too wrapped in lust to notice his momentary lapse.

“You, Master.” You can’t help a frustrated whimper as you try once more to undulate against him and are again prevented from doing so. “Please, Kylo, let me please you.”

He reburies his anguish, and smirks at you. “Very well.” He releases your hips. “Please me.”

As soon as he lets go, you’re sliding off his lap and on to your knees, scrambling to unhook his belt. He obligingly helps you open his trousers. You make quick work of the placket and draw out your prize, salivating as you pump his already-leaking cock.

He hisses as your mouth engulfs him. “Yes, just like that. What a good, good girl you are.”

A lewd moan escapes around his length as he fists his hands in your hair.

He doesn’t need to say another word. You can read it in his eyes, every filthy, dark thought as you bob your head on his shaft. How good it feels when you take his cock in your throat; that he knows exactly how hot and wet it makes you when he fucks your mouth; how knowing you’re waiting in his quarters to be used as his personal whore is the only thing that gets him through the day. You moan again, and one corner of his mouth twitches.

You know him well enough to recognize it as a smirk.

“As delightful as this is, Pet,” he finally sighs, a slight waiver to his voice the only indicator of how close you already have him to release, “there’s a different part of you I desire at this moment.”

Releasing his cock with a ‘pop’, you continue to stroke him with your hand as you beam up at him. “As you wish, Master.”

Your mouth and chin are wet with precum and spit. He drags his thumb through the mess and brings it to your lips, his cock jumping in your grasp as you wrap your tongue around the digit.

“Up,” he snaps.

Rising immediately, you can’t help your squeak as he spins you to face the desk and pulls you back onto his lap, impaling you on his cock with one hard thrust. You gasp, unable to cry out as all the air is expelled from your lungs. Your arms are wrenched behind you by invisible bonds, the posture thrusting your breasts out. You hear his low chuckle as he tweaks both nipples while simultaneously bucking his hips, eliciting a shriek from you.

Thick fingers twist into your hair, pulling you back until you're flush with his chest. His breath is hot against your ear as he snarls two words that have your cunt clenching in anticipation: “Ride me.”

No further encouragement is necessary. He works your body over as you rock in his lap, reducing you to a burbling mass of arousal. Releasing his grip on your hair, his hands make their way down your body, the leather feeling so kriffing good as he caresses every inch of you.

Plush lips drag against your jaw as he leans forward, pressing his chest closer against your back. He trails his fingers up your thighs while simultaneously dragging his teeth along your earlobe. The noise that escapes you is undignified at best, and positively libidinous at worst.

The bastard’s smirk is obvious against your heated skin. “My beautiful Empress,” he murmurs, licking a stripe up your neck.

You can’t suppress your panting as he nips at the sensitive spot just below your ear. “I’m not your Empress,” you manage, your voice breathy with arousal as you continue to move.

“Mmmmm.” Kylo hums as his right hand trails up your abdomen to gently cup your left breast, those elegant fingers plucky at your nipple and making you moan. “Not yet.”

“Oh.” You squeak as he latches on to your pulse point, his teeth scraping over your skin as he marks you. His other hand drops to your core, fingertips stroking your folds as deftly as a musician plays a hallikset. You cry out as he deliberately ignores your clit, but your cry becomes a gasp as he abruptly slaps the inside of your thigh. “Kylo!”

“Feel how wet you are, little whore.” He pulls his hand from your cunt and wipes your slick across your cheek. “Only the most depraved whores drip like this.” When he wraps the same hand around your throat, you sob in euphoric bliss. His chuckle is low. “Look at you, reduced to a needy slut who wants nothing more than to be filled by her Master.”

You can’t help but moan as he tightens his grip, the other hand on your breast squeezing hard.

“Speak, Pet.” His order is hissed in your ear, his breath hot on your skin. “Tell me how much you want my cock.”

“Need you, Master,” you gasp, deliciously light headed from the lack of oxygen. “Need you to- oh, Maker!- need you to fill me, need you to fuck m-me oh!”

A squeal erupts as he abruptly thrusts up, hard, and proceeds to set a brutal pace. Helpless to do anything but take what he gives you, all you can do is wail and enjoy the desperation in his movements.

When he stands and surges forward, shoving you against his desk while still buried in your swollen heat, it’s just enough to send you over the edge and you crash into your climax with a scream.

Over your shoulder, you hear Kylo tsk in admonishment. “Oh, princess,” he chides, as you feel your Force bonds tighten even more, “you know better than to cum without permission.”

With that, he shoves you forward, pressing your chest flat against the thermoplastic and using his knee to spread your legs. You willingly comply, relishing in his hiss as he pumps into your wet, waiting warmth. He finally releases your throat, and the sensation of your cunt clenching as you cough is too much for him. His pace becomes blistering, each thrust sending your pelvic bone into the edge of the desk; speech is now beyond your power, incoherent babble all that remains as he obliterates your cunt.

The lewd symphony of your coupling is punctuated by his growls and your cries. You can already feel the crest rising anew and you beg for salvation. “Master, please!”

He grips the back of your neck, anchoring your head, snarling as he takes you with rapid, deep thrusts. “Do you think now you'll be able to follow instructions?”

You nod frantically, trying desperately to stave off your orgasm. “Yes, Master!”

His voice is deeper than ever, trembling slightly as he uses your body to chase his own end. “Tell me, my little slut; who owns you?”

“You, Master!” You can’t hold back the shriek that erupts from your lips as you feel that subtle tickling of his powers against your clit.

The sounds you’re making have him right on the edge. “You’re mine, all mine,” he sneers as you cry out once more. “Say it.”

“Yours, Kylo,” you gasp. “I’m yours!”

“You need to cum again, sweet little Pet?” When you frantically nod, he fists your hair and yanks your head back. “Do it,” he hisses next to your ear. “Cum for me. Now.”

You explode around him, screaming your pleasure. His echoing roar is your only warning before he slams into you a final time, ripping himself from your heat and snatching your body off the desk. You land on your knees just in time to receive his spend, splashing across your face and chest as he pumps his length.

---

It takes several moments before you can even start to become aware of your surroundings once more. In that time, Kylo has bundled you in your favorite cozy blanket, and cradles you in his lap as he smooths your hair back and murmurs sweet words of praise. His seed still decorates your body, and you preen as you feel his hands, finally ungloved, gently rub it into your skin as one more claim of his ownership.

Your contented sigh is what alerts him to your consciousness, and he can’t help his proud smile as your eyes slowly flutter open, or the chaste and caring kiss he presses to your temple. “How are you feeling, princess?”

A beaming smile is his reward. “Wonderful,” you sigh, and then giggle. “And filthy, in the best possible way.”

“As requested,” he slyly teases.

You notice that sometime during your torpor, he’s shed his gambeson and trousers, replacing them with soft lounge pants and  the stolen sweater. Hooking your fingers over the neckline, echoing his own earlier actions, you tug gently. “Thief.”

He laughs, your favorite sound in the galaxy. “The Jawa calls the Ewok short.” Your answering eye roll elicits another chuckle and another brush of his lips. “Happy birthday, love,” he murmurs against your forehead.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.” Your smile is soft as you raise your face, content when he understands the overture and leans down to press his lips to yours. A/N: Alexa, play "I Want Kylo Ren To Rail Me on a Desk" by Beyoncé or someone.

Likes and reblogs feed my dirty, dirty soul. I always want to tag mutuals but then I feel like that would be super presumptuous even though I love being tagged, so IDK I guess send me an ask if you want me to tag you in new writings?

[rabbitcrimes]

who wants 500 words of a who we are in the shadows AU i wrote in 30 minutes lol

The title is Nothing Can be Said to be Certain, Or: Death & Taxes

“So, really, it’s not so bad—“ Wei Wuxian tries, trailing his actively fuming brother around the house wearing a beautifully-embroidered du dou, a tiny pair of shorts, and a festival robe that he claims is actually from the Qing dynasty. It is his third outfit change of the evening and the orgy hasn’t even started yet. 

“NOT BAD?” Jiang Cheng roars, stopping in the living room to shake a sheaf of papers in Wei Wuxian’s face as he pretends to cower.

“Not so bad at all a-Cheng really, it’s, ah, it’s just—“

“TWENTY YEARS? FOR TWENTY YEARS,” Jiang Cheng yells. It strikes Lan Wangji, not for the first time, that it is a shame that he can’t actually turn as purple as he seems to want to, on account of being undead.

“A-Cheng, shhhh no, hey, you didn’t want to go anyway, right? You’ve been complaining about it for, what, a fortnight? Two fortnights, and now, hey! Now you have such a good excuse—“

Jiang Cheng, rendered speechless, lets out a sort of incoherent yell just as Jiang Yanli sweeps down the stairs. She’s wearing a tasteful pink teddy and fuzzy pink slippers that say ‘Sleep’ ‘Over.’ “A-Cheng, a-Xian, please, don’t fight.”

There’s a bit of a scuffle as both men fight their way over to her to present their case, most of which involves yelling over each other. For the first few months of his time as a familiar, Lan Wangji would attempt to intervene in these kinds of altercations. He has since learned that it is much better to let Jiang Yanli pat them both of the head and tell them that they’re perfect boys who have never done anything wrong. How this continues to work after three hundred years of being undead, Lan Wangji has no idea.

Deciding his time could be better used to set up the sex swing, Lan Wangji leaves them to duke it out. As far as Lan Wangji can tell, the problem is thus: Wei Wuxian has somehow neglected to file taxes for the entire time they have been in the United States and the IRS has somehow, very belatedly, cottoned on to this and sent them increasingly threatening letters that Wei Wuxian has, for months, been sorting as ‘junk’ because they, quote, ’looked like those phishing scams, Lan Zhan, you know, like all those credit cards I signed up for that one time because they looked like a good deal, you know, points! But then they just wanted my social security number? And the joke was on them anyway, because I don’t even have one of those, I was just putting random numbers in.’

All of which to say: the highly anticipated vampire orgy is due to start in thirty minutes and there is a looming, ominous tax deadline in 12 hours, which means that while everyone else has fun, Jiang Cheng will be doing taxes.

Lan Wangji, who does his taxes by hand the first day it becomes possible every year, could probably solve this problem in about 3 hours should he deign to. Due to his blood feud with Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji is going to let him founder through meaningless bureaucracy while everyone else has fun. In many ways, Lan Wangji will be doing him a favor, because then he can’t swing that stupid whip around and embarrass himself in front of his hot, mean crush.

[tefilovesreading]

High expectations - Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader

Pairing: Alive!Luke Patterson x Fem!Reader.

Word count: +3,4k

Warnings: meh just a few curse words, and a lot of fluff.

A/N: Because I love to push the deadlines, this is my entry/submission for @cherrymaybank​ Valentine’s Day challenge! Hope y’all like it.

Edited by: @theamazingtomholland

MASTERLIST

I closed my locker with a little more force than needed, and I cringed at the loud noise it made on the empty halls. Most of the students already gone, just a few lingering around the school. Who wanted to spend more time than necessary in school on a Monday?

“Why are you so angry?” Luke’s voice startled me. Leaning next to my locker with a grin on his face, he handed me my water bottle, “you left it in the library.”

“Thanks,” I smiled at him and adjusted the backpack strap on my shoulder. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he tugged on my backpack strap, making it fall down my arm, so he could snatch it and throw it over his shoulder, “I have band practice, do you wanna come?”

“I have a lot of homework, Luke,” I replied, matching his pace while we made our way out of the building and towards his car, “maybe next time.”

“You always say that but never come,” he accused me, unlocking the car and throwing our stuff in the backseat.

“It’s not my fault that you don’t do your homework,” I joked and stuck my tongue out at the shocked look he gave me.

“Oh shut up, I do my homework at night,” Luke started the car, and the careless look on his face, while he reversed the car with only one hand on the steering wheels, made the butterflies on my stomach flutter. “What are you doing on Sunday anyway?” 

“Uh, I don’t know?” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “should I have plans?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” he stated, and then the realization hit me. 

“Oh,” I murmured, “I’m just gonna stay at home. You know I’m not seeing anyone.”

“You stayed at home last year, Y/N,” he pondered without taking his gaze out of the road, “and the year before.”

“So it’s my fault I happen to be single around Valentine’s Day season?” I countered getting a little annoyed at him.

“I’m not saying that,” Luke scoffed, “I was just thinking about the fact that you’ve never celebrated the holiday.”

“It’s not a big deal,” I shrugged and looked out of the window.

It really wasn’t a big deal for me, especially since I never felt the need to spoil the people I love on a specific day because I did that all the time. And it just happened to be a coincidence that all my past relationships either ended before the holiday or started after it. Not that my relationships were even that long because somehow guys always found an excuse to dump me after a few months. And if I was being honest, I was fine with it because I didn’t like any of those guys half as much as I liked the boy sitting beside me.

“It is a big deal for me,” Luke commented as he stopped the car in front of my house, “I can’t let my favorite girl just go around life without a real experience of how you’re supposed to be treated on Valentine’s Day.” 

“So what,” I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned around to give him a stern look, “are you gonna set me up with some random dude, so I can spend Valentine’s Day with someone and not at home?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Luke met my eyes with the biggest smile on his face as if he just had the best idea in the world, “I know you wouldn’t be comfortable around some random dude, but what if I give you the best Valentine’s Day, so you know what to expect next time you date a guy.”

As soon as those words left his mouth I felt like someone threw a bucket full of cold water over me. How could I tell him why this was the worst idea ever and that he’d only manage to hurt me because I was in love with him and fake dating him would only crush my heart? It’d be like getting to taste a piece of heaven and then being exiled. 

“Luke, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” I told him, feeling my throat tight out of pure nervousness.

“Why not?” he huffed and started tapping his finger on the steering wheel, “I don’t have a date either, and we’re just gonna spend the day together, we do it all the time.”

“I can’t say no, can I?”

“Not this time, babe,” he winked at me and rolled my eyes. 

“You’re a pain in the ass,” I groaned before reaching for my backpack before opening the door and getting out of the car.

“You know you love me,” I heard him say before I closed the door. And he was right. 

I waved him goodbye and opened the front door to my house, knowing that Luke wouldn’t leave until he saw me get inside. Those small gestures like waiting for me till I get inside before leaving in case I forgot my keys, or I saw something strange before going in, made me fall more each day for him. 

He didn’t have to care so much and go out of his way to help me if I needed a hand, but he did, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. He was such a great friend and that was the only reason I kept my feelings for him a secret. I couldn’t risk losing his friendship. 

My phone vibrated in my back pocket and when I read the message I felt the blood leave my face.

Alex: what did u do??? Y/N: Nothing??? why Alex: Luke got to the studio acting like he just drank 5 red bulls Y/N: not my fault

I plopped down on my bed and grabbed the closest pillow, so I could scream in it without my neighbor thinking I was crazy. There was no way this was gonna end well for me and I knew I couldn’t make Luke change his mind.

I furrowed my eyebrows when a folded piece of paper fell to the floor as I took the textbook I needed for my next class. I picked up and put it in my back pocket, I was late for class and the last thing I needed was to risk getting detention for being late once again. 

“Just in time, mister Patterson,” I heard the teacher say, and I lifted my head to see Luke giving her one of his charming smiles and then heading to his seat right behind me. 

“You’re late,” I whispered without turning my head to see him, I knew he was listening. 

“Yeah, I know,” he murmured, and I noticed a hint of disappointment in his voice, “I was waiting for someone.”

“Oh,” I let out in a breath. That’s all I can say before the teacher starts her lesson and I decide to pay attention. After all, Luke’s the one that can get away from trouble with a smile, not me.

I shifted in my seat, bored out of my mind while the woman kept talking about how we need to use the formula written on the board when I remember the folded piece of paper tucked away in my pocket. I reached for it, trying not to let Luke see what I was doing and trying to cover it with the sleeve of my hoodie, even though he was sitting right behind me. 

The handwriting was so distinctive I knew who wrote it as soon as I read the first word on the piece of paper. And after years of deciphering his handwriting, reading the lyrics to his songs, and passing notes during class, made it so much easier to understand it. 

I was thinking of a way to start the whole Valentine’s Day plan, and I concluded that since we’re not dating, we’re gonna be celebrating the real meaning behind the holiday. And that’s love.

I fucking love you, you know that right Angel? 

You’ve been my friend for so many years and I can’t be more grateful for all the support and love you give me without thinking twice. And that you put up with my shit, I know I’m a lot.

So I promise this week is gonna be my mission to show you how grateful I am for having you in my life, starting today.

I’ll be waiting for you at the library before classes start. I got you a surprise.

-Luke aka Major pain in the ass. 

Luke was waiting for me, that’s why he was almost late for our class. And I didn’t show up because I couldn’t stop for half a minute to read the note. God, I was so dumb. He was putting so much effort into giving me the best experience, and I already messed up on day one. 

I turned around quickly, enough time to notice the frown between his eyebrows and the sad expression on his face. I wanted to bury myself. How could I be so dumb?

I traced the word Angel with my fingertip and smiled at the nickname he gave me when we were kids. Luke fell off the swing and I leaned over him to see if he was okay, just to hear him say “Am I dead or is that an angel?”. Even now I still could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks whenever I remembered how he came up with the nickname.

“Make sure you study,” the teacher warns us, “we might have a quiz in the next class.”

As soon as she said that I started shoving my things inside my backpack because I knew Luke would storm out of the classroom the second our teacher let us leave. I stood him up, and I couldn’t even imagine how hurt he felt.

“Luke wait!” I called trying to match his long strides, pushing past the students in the hallways.

“Hey,” he said, slowing down a bit but not bothering to look in my direction, “you need something?”

“Luke, I’m sorry,” I apologized, grabbing his arm to make him stop and look at me, “I didn’t read the note until a few minutes before the class finished. I’d have shown up if I read it right away.”

“If you don’t want me to do this, just say it,” Luke said, and I shook my head showing him my disagreement.

“No, I mean it,” I let my hand fall from his arm and I grabbed his hand, locking our pinkies together, “I promise.”

“Good, because you’re gonna have to wait till tomorrow for your next surprise,” he smiled and squeezed lightly our fingers before letting go.

“What about today’s surprise?” I questioned.

“It was a coffee from your favorite coffee place and some donuts,” he replied, putting his hand on the small of my back and pushing me to keep walking, “once I realized you weren’t coming I gave it to Betty. You know I hate when food goes to waste.”

“Oh, well,” I murmured slightly disappointed because I didn’t get to have my favorite coffee, but with a warm feeling inside because he remembered the place I liked even when we didn’t go together that often, “we can grab lunch off-campus, my treat.”

“But I drive, right?” 

“Unless you give me your keys and I drive,” I wiggled my eyebrows and laughed at the frightened expression on his face.

“No way, I’d like to live,” I snorted at his comment, “no offense, Angel, but you drive like shit.”

“I’m not that bad,” I complained, and I knew my cheeks were blushing.

“Sure, whatever you say, Y/N,” he laughed.

By Thursday, I had a bunch of notes sprawled in my bed, Luke’s messy handwriting bright in every single one of them. He made sure to hide a note in my locker whenever I had to change my textbooks and after the disaster that was the first note he left me, I made sure to read them as soon as I found them. Most of them were just jokes, song lyrics we both loved, but my favorites were those that had memories of moments we had lived together.

Remember the first song I learned how to play, and I was so excited to show you, and when you came over I got so nervous that I forgot not only the chords but also the lyrics, but you sat there with me and told me not to worry while I searched again for the tabs. You have so much faith in me, it really makes me want to do better. You make me better.

My chest was heavy with mixed emotions. On one side I was over the moon with every single small gift and note he gave, but I couldn’t help but dread the weekend, knowing that once Valentine’s Day is over, my bubble would burst, and I’d be left with the sour feeling of knowing how amazing Luke could be as a boyfriend but with zero chances to have him as more than a friend.

I grabbed the small gift and put it in my backpack, waiting for Luke to come and pick me up. Friday came faster than I wanted and felt my whole body tense. Valentine’s Day was two days away, and I wasn’t ready for this to end. 

“Morning, Angel,” I heard Luke say when I opened the passenger door.

“Morning, Lucas,” I said and smiled at his groan. He hated it when I called him like that.

“I brought you coffee, but you don’t deserve it,” he commented, and I looked at him with my best puppy eyes, “that’s not gonna work on me, Y/N”

“Please,” I batted my eyelashes and I swear I saw him gulp. He rolled his eyes and handed me the coffee cup he was holding, “You’re the best.”

“Of course I am,” he winked at me and started the car.

As soon as we entered the building, Luke told me he’d meet me in my locker and then left without another word.

“Where’s Luke?” Alex’s voice startled me and almost made me drop my phone.

“I don’t know, he said he’d meet me here,” I replied and furrowed my brows when he shot me a confused look, “what?”

“Nothing, I thought I’d find him here since he’s been glued to your hip this week.”

“Oh shut up,” I laughed.

“I’m gonna go and see if I can find him with Reggie,” he pointed to the hallway and I nodded, “see you in a bit.”

I checked the hour on my phone one last time and sighed when I saw a girl walking with a rose in her hand. 

“All done,” I got startled for the second time that morning and I closed my locker to see Luke standing next to me with a small box in his hand, “last gift before Valentine’s Day.”

“I got you one too,” I said with a soft smile, “you want it now?”

“Now, obviously,” he answered with a grin. 

I opened my backpack and fumbled with a few things before finding the small gift. I watched Luke’s smile widen when he saw the guitar strings pack inside.

“Did you like it?” I asked just to hear him say it because the smile on his face gave away the answer.

“And you got me new guitars picks!” I laughed when he threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly, “I love it, thank you.”

His smile was on my mind all day, I loved to see him so happy about something I gave him. Shit, I loved him and that was it.

When the last bell rang announcing the end of the school day, Luke was already waiting for me by my locker with a single rose in his hand.

“I knew you’d hate me if I made you walk around with a rose, but I still wanted to give you one,” he mentioned with a shy smile, “you didn’t tell me if you liked the gift, by the way.”

“Oh, shit,” I murmured hurrying to find the small box I put in my backpack, “I forgot to open it.”

He waited patiently for me to open the small box and I looked at him in pure confusion. I knew that was his keychain.

“I don’t understand,” I mumbled, tracing the metallic guitar pick with his initials engraved in it, a gift I gave him last Christmas.

“We’re having a movie night on Sunday,” he explained, and I could notice the nervousness in his voice, “like the old days.”

The fact that Luke was giving me the best Valentine’s Day experience without even dating, and keeping in mind the things I liked or hated, made me realize there was no way another boy would ever come close to the expectations he was setting.

When we were kids, we used to build a fort in front of the TV, so we could watch movies there, but we’d always spend too much time building the fort and by the time we were done with it, we’d be too tired to watch the movie, and that meant falling asleep within the first ten minutes of the movie. Now that we were older, I didn’t know what to expect.

That's why when I unlocked Luke’s front door on Sunday, I felt my hands trembling and my heart pounding.

“Luke?” I called out.

“Living room!” he yelled in response.

The lights were dimmed, and I smiled when I saw the fort made of blankets in the middle of the room. At least that meant we wouldn’t be passing out before the movie started.

“You ready?” he asked, and I nodded, following him and making myself comfortable between the pillows.

“You did a nice job here, Luke” I complimented, admiring the effort he put into everything to give me such a good experience.

“I think building blanket forts is my real calling,” he joked.

“Oh, you definitely got better at it,” I bantered, and he pushed me lightly.

“Shut up,” Luke chuckled and pressed play to start the movie.

I didn’t pay attention to the movie playing in front of us, too distracted by his closeness, the heat irradiating from his body making me well aware of the boy next to me. And the fact that he had one arm over my shoulders didn’t help at all.

“Can I tell you something?” I wondered while keeping my voice just above a whisper.

“Sure,” he said with his gaze fixed on the screen.

“You just set the bar way too high for the next guy I date,” I confessed hoping he’d turned around to look at me. The lights were dancing in his face, and my heart skipped a beat when I caught the glimpse of a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” he whispered and my breath got caught up in my throat when he turned to look at me, “but that means I’ll have to do better next year.”

I blinked once, twice, and a third time, trying to process the words that came out of his mouth. What did he say?

“What?” I blurted out. Luke pulled a strand of my hair playfully and smiled at me.

“Did you really think I’d put all this effort just because you’ve never got to celebrate Valentine’s Day before?” he questioned with a smug look on his face. I didn’t know how to respond, and he took my silence as a signal for him to keep talking, “I was hoping you’d realize by now that I want to be your next Valentine.”

“Fuck you, Luke. This isn’t funny,” I scoffed at him, not believing a single word. He was joking, right?

“You’re really slow for someone as smart as you, you know?” Luke affirmed.

I could feel his breath fanning over my face and when he noticed I didn’t move away after he traced my jaw with his thumb, he closed the distance between us. His lips soft over mine, wandering in unknown territory for both of us. Luke nibbled on my lip with a tenderness I never thought he had in him, persuading me to let him in. 

I let out a deep sigh when he pulled away and didn’t waste time pressing our lips together one more time. Hell, he could be my Valentine for the rest of our lives if he wanted to.

tagged: @chevyimpala00067 @samanthawilliamspring @searchingunderthestars @luke-patt @moneybagmgk @angisbr @happinessinthedarkesttimes @knitsessed @teti-menchon0604 @randomstuff7 @warmness0ul @merceret @headheartbellarke@cordeliascrown @crybabyddl @phantompogues @the-romanian-is-bae @doaspeggy-says​ (Send me an inbox if you wanna be tagged in my stories)

[minachuuu]

(G)-Idle Reaction to falling for a composer.

This one was maybe inspired by Maze. I thought of the concept one day when listening to the song, and it stuck with me. This one is pretty fluffy if I say so myself!

Miyeon

The first time she saw you sitting near the console in the studio she couldn’t take her eyes from you, but you were sitting there in silence, just taking notes and she had no idea who you were and why you were there. She went into the cabin to record her lines, not losing sight of you through the glass, but when you raised your eyes to meet hers and smiled, she fumbled and scrambled every single one of the words.

After another take and the red on her cheeks not easing, she went back to your side of the studio, and with every nerve on her body filled with courage, she wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to you. Later that day, a text made her phone shake and she was surprised when she read:

Such an angelic voice fits perfectly with such a pretty girl. I’ll write more songs if that means I get to see you again. Btw, my name is Y/n, glad to meet you.

The oldest squeaked in bliss as she embraced her phone for dear life, to the surprise of all her youngest members.

It didn’t take long until you started dating, and with such a beautiful muse by your side, inspiration flows like a river through you, composing beautiful creations only for you to listen to Miyeon bring them to life with her beautiful voice.

Minnie

You were sitting in the studio, playing around with the synths and some lyrics. You wouldn’t say you have a perfect voice, but you could carry a melody enough to record your own demos. But you were so into your own thoughts that you failed to realize the only other presence in the room. 

“I think that would sound better if you went a bit higher…”

Her voice made you spring in surprise, as Minnie grabbed the chair besides you, and pulled in closer. She sang the melody you were working on and that was the moment you knew you were hooked. And by the way she looked at you when you got lost in your creations, one could safely say it was mutual. You spend your days locked in the studio, looking like children in a candy store, playing with chords, melodies and everything in your disposal. 

Yes, you were both very aware of your feelings, but Minnie took the first step when she arrived one day at the studio, a little folder paper with a confession written on it… in five different languages. 

Of course you nervously said yes, and from that day on your life, your life is a thousand times more fun and full of light, courtesy of one of the most beautiful, talented and bright girls in the world. 

Soojin

One night, it was very late and you found yourself roaming the empty, dark dance studio with your guitar, searching for something to help you with your mind block. Your prayers would be answered in the form of a beautiful girl opening the door. 

You both shared the same problem, and with a glance you promised not to bother the other as you coexisted in the same room. 

But when your eyes caught a glimpse of Soojin freestyling, your fingers instinctively struck the chords and rhythm in harmony with her body. She caught on pretty fast to whatever you were doing, letting passion flow like a language in between your two different but very complementary art forms. Let’s say you ended up exchanging a little more than phone numbers that night.

And now you two are now the best team to ever grace the company. Sometimes she runs to you, and shows you a new dance movement and you create a beautiful melody to go with it. A passionate relationship to say the least, her bandmates have a say that when your hands aren't on an instrument, they're on Soojin. 

But can they really complain when there's some really iconic stages born from your freestyling sessions? At least that's what you both say you're working on when you lock the door of the studio behind you. 

Soyeon

This one itself could be worthy of an entire enemy-to-lovers fic. 

We know Soyeon is fond of her craft, so when Cube assigned (G)-Idle a composer she was furious. She tried missing some meetings, tried to get to deadlines earlier, in general, she evaded you as long as she could, but the one time she couldn’t find a way around meeting you, she hated herself a little for discovering late you were really kind and talented, and mostly… incredibly cute.

Now more than evading you on spite, she tried her best to not fall for you. And she was doing great, keeping her distance and the relationship between you two as professional as possible until one day, you knocked the door to her studio. 

She couldn't resist and invited you in. And nobody could predict what followed. You were taking out hit, after hit, after hit, albums full of songs worth title tracks. 

To be honest, no one would have known you two eventually got together until you decided to tell her members, you like the privacy of your haven. And even if people think it's a little odd for a relationship, more than cuddles and kisses, your love language consists of sharing the passion you both have for music. 

Yuqi

There's not a single soul in Cube's building that Yuqi hasn't stricken up a conversation with, and you were no exception when you first arrived as the new composer. There was no stopping her as she found your craft fascinating, having dipped her own fingers in the composing pool a few times, everyday that her schedules allowed her she was there asking you a thousand different things. 

And of course you didn't mind. It was really fun and sweet to have someone that interested in you and in what you do. Especially someone as cute as Yuqi. 

Time was the only factor needed for you two to be able to build a very close relationship. One day you were both putting the final touches on a new track, and after giving a last listen to the whole arrangement you had a definite hit in your hands, Yuqi's excitement couldn't be contained and she crashed her lips against yours. Was it shocking? Yes. But surprising? Not really, you could cut the tension in between you both with a plastic knife. 

You could say that entering a relationship full of energy and love, where everyday it's a new opportunity to discover new things and learn something it's your favorite perk of your new job.

Shuhua

Shuhua had finished her schedules early, she was feeling a little bit down and tired, so she decided to join Soyeon and Soojin to the recording studio, but she wasn't prepared for what awaited her beyond that door. 

When she locked her eyes on your concentrated face, tweaking the arrangement, your fingers gracefully dancing across the piano, a sudden chill traveled her spine, and her brain started working at a thousand miles per hour. Her bandmates had never seen her like this, but she just wanted to have your attention, and it sure worked. 

You too weren't feeling great that day in particular, but Shuhua's energy managed to uplift your spirits. It was a rush through both of your veins, an atmosphere you became addicted to because well… It made you both extremely happy. From that day on, there was never a single boring day in your life as it is said that after meeting Shuhua, you were able to write the first happy song of your career. 

They say the best relationships have a good friendship as a base, and you and Shuhua are nothing but best friends with some extra physical perks here and there. Days full of pranks, laughter, dancing and singing all to the rhythm of happy songs. 

[joyfulhopelox]

Right now i don’t know if i want to kiss you or shove you off this building

Part 1 | Part 2(end)

A/N: I have no words really, just i needed to get this off my chest and i wrote it so quickly that part 2 is probably going to be out by the end of the week.

genre: fluff (x100), University! au/ College!au

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox do NOT repost or reblog

Stealing is a crime please do not steal, i do not cross post anywhere else only Tumblr

Pairing: J-Hope x reader (College!AU/ University!AU)

Word count: 4,000 words

Warnings: i'm still bad at writing fluff but here we go (i cried a lot inside whilst writing it)

There are few times in someone’s life when they would have to rush out of the house in the middle of the night. Most times, it involved an emergency of some sorts.The usual A&E rush, the cravings rush and most important of them all, the all nighter in the library rush.

You have been debating for over an hour now if you should make a dash to the library. Your exhausted body screaming at you to just curl up into a ball and sleep- or cry, whichever came first. However your consciousness, and the fact that your anxiety was at an all time high, was telling you to just suck it up and go get your books from the library. That coupled with your approaching deadline. And to be honest you knew exactly what you would end up doing. After all, your grades could not afford to take a fall. Not worse than what they’ve dropped to now. Anymore and you would flunk the year completely.

But do you really need that book? Your brain tried it’s last card on you. You could technically just stay in, bury yourself in your blankets like the Michelin man, and write your essay that way. Sighing, you rubbed your tired eyes and got up grabbing your prized pen, the one that got you through your first and second year of exams, a couple of pieces of paper just in case, and your laptop. A trek to the library it is.

The spring air was doing a good job of waking you up. The light breeze, warm enough to not make you die of cold, but cold enough to cool down your tired flushed face. The 10 minutes it took to walk from your accommodation to the library was enough for you to steel yourself against an all nighter of studying.

What you had expected when you went in was anything but a packed library with students quietly studying. The noises of scratching pens and the rhythmic click-clacking of keyboards creating a mellow background noise. Some were dozing off, and you could not blame them, but holy hell could they not have done that at home? Okay, maybe you were judging, but could anyone blame you? You were desperate for a space and by the looks of the rows of heads between the shelves, there was a slim chance you would actually get a seat somewhere. If needed, you knew you could just crouch in between the shelves near the section that housed the maps, but you did not feel like inhaling dust and sporting a cramped leg for the rest of the night.

“Oh come on! This is a big library, there must be a seat somewhere” you whispered to yourself quietly, your eyes scanning the 3rd floor of the library. Aha! There. By the will of the gods, there was a seat, a lone corner at a table that was packed to the brim. You hastily made your way before anyone could spring out of nowhere and claim it, and slammed your butt down on the seat sighing in satisfaction. You’d made it. The first task done. Proud of yourself, you opened up your laptop and pulled the document you had been writing on. The bold letters at the top stating you NEEDED to get that specific book. A harsh reminder that the second task now would be even more difficult. Hunting for a book in this mammoth of a place. But what if you lost your spot? You needed your laptop to search for the book and to be honest you did not trust your laptop to not be stolen. You groaned to yourself, once again debating whether or not you needed the book

You finally decided that the book was non-negotiable and so you quickly grabbed your pen, with the promise to yourself that you would not get lost in the maze of shelves and interesting literature. Hastily writing a ‘will be back’ note, you slammed the pen down on top of the paper and rushed out of your seat.

The library atmosphere was quiet, despite the space being full of poor students who were rushing to meet a deadline or had exams coming up soon. Perusing the shelves, taking note of names that may interest you further on in your degree or even just as personal pleasure, you basked in the quietness and the dimness of the space. You loved the library at night, sure, but not when you were in a rush to finish a paper and not when exam and deadlines season pushed everyone and their mother to cram themselves in the space like sardines. Overall though, the space was dark and quiet just as you liked it.

Finally arriving at the area that was of interest to you, you stood in front of the row of shelves, a slow grin forming on your face. It was perfect, 4 rows of untouched literature. And you had all the time in the world.

Except...you didn’t. “Fuck” you cursed to yourself. You knew you did not have the time and you promised yourself you would not do this. Looking down at your watch, you let out another curse. “Fuck”. It had taken you half an hour to get here, the digital face of your watch showing 12.30am. “Oh man, I did it again” muttering to yourself, you turned your back towards the interesting titles that were calling your name and focused on the one book you actually needed.

Only to not find it on the shelf. Just your luck. “What am i supposed to do now?” dejectedly sighing you slowly made your way back to your seat. All you could think about was the missing book on the shelf.

How were you supposed to be finishing your paper now? Suddenly the quiet and calm atmosphere became gloomy and dark, this was not going very well for you. So lost in your thought you almost walked by your spot. Stopping right on time you looked to the side only to do a double take. It was not your spot anymore, the leather jacket as well as the mop of dark hair that could be seen occupying the seat was definitely not you. You double checked the area making sure you did not stray away again and somehow landed in the wrong spot but no. That was definitely the desk you had placed your note on.

It was just missing the note and seating another person now. Today was definitely not your day. The last thing you wanted to do at this time of the night, especially when you were in a hurry to finish and hand in your paper, was to be civil. But that was your seat. You refused to slouch in between the shelves and cram a seven thousand word paper tonight. You’ve done it enough times in the past for your bum and back to already be screaming at you in protest. Taking a deep breath in, you steeled yourself and approached the seat stealer.

The closer you got, the better the view of the seat stealer. Goddamn they were handsome. At least the side profile was something to enjoy looking at, but that did not change the fact that they had stolen your seat and were comfortably spread out onto the desk casually typing away at their laptop.

To top it all off, as if the scene was not enough to taunt your nerves, they were humming quietly to the beat that you could faintly hear coming from their headphones. And if you were to admit it to yourself, which you would not, they were very good at said humming.

“Uhm...excuse me” your voice cracked, having not been used for a couple of hours. You could not afford to seem meek in front of them, cute as hell and a great hummer be damned, they would not get the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. Truth be told, you hated confrontation. It was the last thing you resorted to under normal circumstances, let alone now when you were tired and stressed. Standing up straighter you tried again, “Excuse me!”

They made no move to acknowledge you or your shadow that cast now over the desk, as if you were both one and the same. Frustrated, you let out a huff and reached out to tap their shoulder. However, as if the fates had it out for you today, the humming seat stealer also came to life, moving his head towards your outstretched hand as they went to grab for their notebook and pen. That motion combined with yours caused a painful collision for the both of you. As it had not gotten a chance to change trajectory towards their shoulder, your unprepared hand bent awkwardly as it made contact with the side of the person’s head. A loud “oh fuck” chorused from the both of you, as both parties retracted as if burnt. Had you mentioned it was not your day?

“Is there a reason why I’m being assaulted at...1am on a Tuesday in the library?”. the seat stealer asked as he turned around to face you completely. He finally had a voice as well, and it was just as nice as the humming. Scrunching your nose in annoyance, you took a deep breath in prepared to tell him off. Not only was HE the one assaulting your hand but also your well deserved seat. Only to do the stereotypical double take. The mop of hair hid a very handsome face. High cheekbones and a pointed nose, your eyes trailed further down to his long neck and toned body. “Uh…” the stranger, seat stealer muttered, his hand going to scratch awkwardly at his long neck. Your brain agreed, “Uh…” you smartly copied snapping your eyes back at the face. You had clearly been caught staring judging by the smug smirk the person had on their face. Not only that but you had managed in a few minutes to smack a total stranger and display copious amounts of intelligence whilst trying your hand at a smart rebuttal to their question.

“So, now that I have your attention. Care to tell me why you are assaulting me at 1am on a Tuesday?” The tone of voice was less alarmed, more amused now. As if he clearly found your embarrassment entertaining.

“Assault? I have not assaulted you….you seat stealer!” You furiously exclaimed only to be interrupted by an equally stressed out fellow student“, Keep it down”. Only then did you become aware of the situation you are in. Three other rows of desks near the one you were currently at, and each of them seated a student who, like you, probably either had exams or deadlines. They were sleep deprived, hungry, and probably had too much caffeine running through their blood for their own good. And they were all focused on your form. To embarrass you further, the seat stealer even had the audacity to smugly smile and whisper “yeah, shhhhh.”

Getting redder by the minute, whether in mortification at being told off by the student a few rows away from you or from increasing anger at the seat stealer, you bent down, eyes narrowed “you….you...shush, and whilst you are at it, get out of my seat, you seat stealer”. You were unsure whether your shouted whisper would sound menacing enough to convey the mixture of emotions running through your veins at the moment. The stranger’s smug smile dropped instantly, a look of confusion replacing it, “seat stealer? What is that about?”

“You stole my seat!”

“I did not. The seat was free. If you passed by it, it was free and you didn’t sit down or leave your stuff on the chair; it doesn't automatically make it yours.” The stranger shrugged carefully, studying your expressions. What he saw must have really amused him because he started snickering to himself. Getting redder by the minute your rebuttal was weak, if only you’d have thought about it beforehand.

“I only have my laptop on me! And I left a note and my precious pen on the desk! A note which you have thrown out to steal my seat.” That is when it all went downhill. “you ‘strange seat stealer’!” the snickers coming from the handsome man got even more violent, to the point of you worrying about him choking- had you not been angry at him you would have asked if he was ok. Unfortunately, you were angry and nothing he did could have solved that.

The stranger abruptly stood up, so close to your face that you could see the numerous lashes that shadowed his dark eyes, amusement still plastered onto his face. He grabbed your elbow lightly, giving you a chance to break free if needed, but you were so stunned by his actions that all you could do was question how handsome his angular face was. “You’re cute, and that was a smart, if odd, alliteration you made there” He breathed, the action making a stray strand of hair blow away from your face, “but we’re making a scene”.

“Wh-” before you could process what he’d said, he trailed his hand from your elbow to your own hand and lightly gripped it with the intention of moving you away. The sudden jolt sprung your brain back to life and you tried fruitlessly to pull your hand away from his grip. Unfortunately, your brain decided to work a bit too late, as you were already past the rows of desks and shelves of books, closer to the lift lobby on that floor. “I am not making a scene, you are making a scene. Who are you to get me away from my seat not only once, but twice?!” Your feet firmly planted on the ground and finally got the stranger to stop. “I don’t know who you are” as he made a move to talk, you interrupted “and I don’t care, I saw that seat first, left a note on it to say I was going to be back and you stole it! I need the space!”

“Why?” The stranger calmly asked. His face showed no signs of anger or frustration, and it seemed like it belonged like that, serene and peaceful. And it made you wonder if anything could ever anger this man. Sure, you did not know him but you had been yelling in his face for the past minute. His demeanour and question threw you off so much so that your brain once again hiccuped.

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean why do you NEED the space, it’s clear that you do not have a bag or any belongings for that matter.” He gave you a once over to emphasize his words, his calm eyes lingering a bit too long on your form for your anger to continue overriding the flustered mess that you had become. “I- I do!” You don’t know why you needed to prove yourself to him, but it was a valid question he’d asked. So, you showed him the arm he was not holding, that carried a laptop. Realising he was still holding onto your hand, the sudden thought made you suddenly hot and clammy and before he could do anything about it you pulled it out of his warm hold.

Trying to ignore the loss of warmth the contact brought you, you looked away flustered.

“This cannot be happening. Look, I sat down there first, I put a note down because I needed to go find a book for my essay and….oh god...it’s due in like…..five hours”. Not looking at him the entire time you explained your situation to him, frustration and anxiety taking over your anger you missed the worried look he threw at your red face and the slight movement he made with his hands as if to grab your fretting ones. Instead when you looked back at him after a couple of moments of silence, what you saw was him studying the space behind you closely. “Hey! Are you even listening?” You got over your anger and tried to explain, (not that you needed to) somewhat logically to make this person understand why you needed the seat back and all they did was ignore you.

“Have you found the book that you needed?” He turned his attention back to you, a small smile forming onto his face. You did not know whether it was the fact that he completely ignored what you had said earlier, the untimely smile he gave you, or the fact that your heart sped up at the said smile, but your anger went through the roof once again.

“No! Now excuse me whilst I go reclaim my seat. If you want to waste time out here just staring at the walls, that is your issue, some of us have problems they need to fix.” Making a move to turn around you halted, realising you were going the wrong way. Mumbling to yourself you brushed past the guy and headed for the lifts. Calling the lift you tapped your foot impatiently. You could find another seat somewhere else, and if not, you were desperate enough to finish the paper that you would risk your own bottom and sit in between shelves. It felt like an eternity until the lift arrived and as soon as you got in you pressed the button for the floor above you thinking you may have some luck there. Surveying the corridor you noticed that the guy had left, and surprisingly a twinge of disappointment made you sigh. You just wanted to continue the argument, nothing else.

Right before the doors to the lift could close though a running form made its way to the lift sliding in between the door with swift grace, almost barreling into you. It took you a moment to realise it was the seat stealer with his bags packed up and his laptop in his hands. “What are you doing?” you hissed as you noticed he cancelled your floor and pressed the tower one instead. “Making up for stealing your seat”, he casually replied as he observed the numbers in the lift change.

“By not letting me go find another seat?” you huffed, “you could have just vacated the seat earlier and it would have all been fine.”

“But it wouldn’t have given me an excuse to talk to you for longer than three seconds would it? I’m Hoseok by the way.” He turned and smiled at you, the dimples in his cheeks becoming prominent. Rendered speechless by his forwardness, you did not know how to respond. So you settled onto clearing your throat and willing the blush that was taking over the apples of your cheeks away. Not meeting his eyes and refusing to grant him with the same grace and give him your name, you chose instead to ask where he was planning to take you. His response was just as cryptic as his previous one, “you will see”.

The rest of the way had been spent in silence, you having given up on trying to argue with the seat stealer...Hoseok. You repeated the name in your head multiple times, it suited him. For a brief second you wondered how it would sound if you said it out loud, but you squashed that thought away very quickly. You weren’t friends or even acquaintances so there was no reason for you to do so.

Whilst your brain was running a hundred miles an hour, throughout this time Hoseok took the time to observe you. Undeniably pretty, a smile made its way onto his face as he watched the different faces that you were pulling clearly lost deep in thought. You are cute. He knew that your argument couldn’t even be called as such. To his defense, the seat he had occupied had nothing on it. It was only when he ran back to gather his things and rush back to you that he noticed the note and the pen that were lying on the floor near the foot of the desk. In his haste he had grabbed both of them hoping that if his plan did not work he would have another excuse to approach you at some point. Now, those two items were weighing down in his pocket. Your name, which you had not freely given to him but it was written on the note, burnt into his mind. Maybe he did not need them after all. He would give you your pen back of course, but he would keep the note. It would be good memorabilia in the future.

The lift came to a halt and the doors opened .This time Hoseok did not even hesitate to grab your hand and lead you to your destination as he was afraid you would run away from him. Your heart thumping again at the gesture you let yourself be led by him too astonished to say anything. Who was this human being and why was he so friendly after you’d argued for the good part of an hour. Before you could panic about the time you had lost, Hoseok stopped abruptly.

‘We’re here’ he motioned with his free hand. The one that did not occupy yours.

Realising so you tried to inconspicuously free your hand from his, the astonishment at his behaviour quickly turned into amazement at the choice of space he was presenting you with. You were not a fan of the tower as heights were a bit of a stretch for you but the cosy alcove with window seats and the view of the night time sky it provided were enough to make you forget that. “Woah, how did you find this place?”’ You mumbled and quickly went to the window observing the lights of the city behind you. For how late it was, the scenery down below was surprisingly animated. Not getting a response you turned around thinking he had abandoned you there. What you were not expecting was the bashful look he was giving you whilst rubbing the back of his neck. “Uhm, by mistake really, I just happened to wander here one day and yeah...thought it was quiet enough and...well, I needed to make up for the fact that you did not have a seat in the end and you said you needed to finish your paper and…yeah’

Him reminding you of the paper that was now due in less than three hours made you jump in panic. Without thinking you threw your laptop onto the little table space that the alcove offered and sat down. Typing your password you opened the document you were working on. Whilst waiting for it to load you hesitated, bit your lip and looked up.

“Are you not going to sit down? I assume you also have work to do since you are here?” Without looking, you motioned to the seat directly across from you. This could end up being the best decision of your life or your worst... but you came to the conclusion you wouldn’t know unless you took a chance. Hearing him shift his feet and the feel of his knees close to yours as he sat down was enough to make you blush again. Here it goes, now or never.

‘I’m Y/N by the way’ you looked up in time to see him smile.

‘I know’

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Spells and Sneezes

I needed to try some Fantasy sickfic, and also practice my “stuffy talk”, so have ~3700 words of a very sneezy, stuffed up sorcerer. This post was inspired by a prompt I saw from this site long ago about a tall, thin, sneezy warlock, but I can’t find that post again to link it to save my life. So generic thanks to whoever came up with the prompt!

“Hehhtt’SSCCHHEEEWW!!

The tickle he thought he’d stifled exploded out of him unexpectedly as a massive, wet sneeze. The tall, young sorcerer groaned and wiped his dripping nose wearily with an already sodden handkerchief. His entire workbench was now covered in the spray. He sighed dejectedly, glancing out the window, the weak afternoon sunlight offering little comfort.

 He had been stuck on this spell for days now, and the deadline was fast approaching. And this wasn’t just any order, this was for the KING. He was preparing to wage war and was looking for chainmail woven with a defense spell for 3,000 of his top officers. The king had chosen him to fill this order because defense spells had been his specialty during his apprenticeship, but for some reason this powerful chain was toying with him. If he could get just one prototype together, making the rest would be the work of a day. But he had not been able to make even one yet.

He groaned again, wincing as he continued to wipe his raw, dripping nose. His head hurt. His throat hurt. His eyes hurt. His chest hurt from all the coughing he’d been doing. But he couldn’t rest until this was done.

He summoned the chair he had shoved aside a few minutes ago. Neither sitting nor standing seemed to help him concentrate better, so he kept going back and forth. He leaned his head in his hand and picked up his quill again, scratching sigils fruitlessly.

A merry knock startled him and he leapt to his feet, his lithe frame quivering. For a moment he imagined it was the king’s advisors coming to collect the spell a week early. Instead, his younger sister poked her head in, waving cheerily. 

“Brother, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost! Did I startle you? I’m sorry. It has been some weeks since I’ve seen you, and I wanted to check on you.”

She bustled in, her cleaning cart clattering behind her and parking itself by the door. Elliamina was a kitchen witch, and renowned throughout the land for her cleaning abilities, especially for never having an apprenticeship of her own. She had helped her older brother with his studies, being the more studious of the two, and had picked up some knowledge of her own, enough to make her own way in the world without formal training. 

She danced over, wrapping her arms around him warmly. She was almost a meter shorter than him, but otherwise they were nearly identical, though there was a 5 year span between them. The length of their hair was the only difference. Elmrador weakly returned her hug, his heart still pounding. 

“Good to see you, Mina. I have missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you, but I’ve been quite busy with orders of late. I can’t visit long today though. I have much work to do.”

“Well, at least let me give your cottage a quick tidy while I’m here.” She stepped back and surveyed him, cocking her head. “You are ill, brother.” Her mouth immediately quirked down sadly.

It was a statement, not a question. He also frowned. “I am fine.”

As if only to betray him, a hoarse coughing fit snuck up on him, leaving him red and breathless. He rubbed his chest ruefully. “Or at any rate, I don’t need you fussing. I need to finish this order. It’s for the king.”

“Hm.” She looked at him skeptically. “I have the supplies to make a tonic for you. Let me give you that at least. You look miserable.”

He grunted his approval. “As long as you don’t mix it with a sleeping draught.”

“If that's what you want,” she said, rolling her eyes. She flitted back to her cart and began to mix up a simple potion. Meanwhile, he seated himself again and resumed his scribbling. Another dratted tickle was growing in his nose though, which was streaming in earnest. He mopped the drips, to no avail.

“Ah… ah… Ahhkkt’shoooooo!” His handkerchief caught only part of the spray due to how sodden and crumpled it was, and his workbench was once again covered. Mina was at his side in a moment, rubbing his back.

“Poor dear! Elm, you sound awful. You should be in bed.”

“As soon as I work this through.”

She sighed and shook her head, handing him the steaming tonic. He took it with a grateful smile and gulped it down before taking up his quill again, rubbing his hands together to warm them before he did. 

Seeing he didn’t intend to chat further, she began to clean his one room cottage. It was all he needed, just the right amount of space. He kept it cozy and neat for the most part, but when he was busy, cleaning was the last thing on his mind, which is one of the reasons she liked to visit often. She genuinely loved cleaning, especially for people she cared about. She began at the ceiling, sweeping down cobwebs and dusting the corners as she sang to herself. Elm personally thought her singing was a big component of her magic, though she denied it. 

After the ceiling, she moved to the walls and cupboards. Elm found himself watching her idly rather than working. He turned back to his papers, shaking his throbbing head, trying to clear it. The tonic seemed to be affecting his fever. He had previously been shivering in the warm room, but now he was starting to sweat.  The congestion seemed to be leaving his chest but was streaming out of his nose in earnest. 

He didn’t know where his other handkerchiefs were, so he kept using the current one, but it was getting less and less effective as his sniffles got wetter and wetter. It wasn’t long before he started sneezing, both from his overactive nose, and the dust his sister was creating. 

“Errr’sssHUUH! ErrrRIESSH’shew! Ehhhkxxt’SHEEEWW!”

 Mina threw down her duster in exasperation. “I don’t know how you can stand to keep working. *I* can hardly work with you like this!”

He shrugged petulantly, rubbing his red nose. “Well, if you weren’dt kickig ub so mbuch dusdt…”

“Oh! Is the tonic not helping? It shouldn’t make you sound like that.”

“Idt helped the cough. Bud idt mbade mby ndose worse,” he mumbled weakly.

She rolled her eyes. “That tonic works on everyone else, except stubborn sorcerers. I bet your magic is going haywire and counteracting it. Especially without the sleeping effect.”

“Thadt’s ndot mby fauldt.” He shivered and coughed softly, summoning a blanket to wrap around his shoulders as he was suddenly freezing instead of sweating.

She sighed and moved to his side again, rubbing his back some more. He leaned against her wearily.

“Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Ndo. I worgk best adt ndight.”

“Poor dear. You’re exhausted. No wonder you’re ill. What has got you so worked up?”

She glanced at the papers spread before him. “Chainmail woven with defense? Clever. Lucky you, getting an interesting project like this.”

“Idt’s driving mbe to distraction. I can’dt quide sordt it oudt.”

Her sharp eyes roved over the parchment quickly. “Your writing is terrible when you’re ill. I can hardly make it out. Ah, but here’s one of the reasons you're having trouble--half of these sigils appear to be reversed. See these here? They’re meaningless. Don’t tell me you’ve been working with them like this?”

He groaned pathetically. “They weren’dt like thadt whend I wrote themb! I ndo they weren’dt!”

She reached out and tried to feel his forehead. He batted her hand away before she could. She frowned.

“You know your magic is unpredictable when something is wrong with you, brother. My guess is you sneezed on these and they reversed themselves. You’re positively crackling with stray mana. Not to mention you’re probably feverish. You need to take some rest.”

“I can’dt. I have to deliver 3,000 of these in a weegk’s time, and I haven’dt even godden one yedt.”

“You’re not being productive like this though.”

“Ndeither are you. I thoughdt you were cleanig.”

She swatted him playfully. “See to yourself first, Elmrador, before you worry about me.”  

 Shaking her head, she reluctantly went back to her cleaning. The thin sorcerer directed his gaze back to his work, slowly fixing the reversed sigils, but he couldn’t get his eyes to stay in focus. They were so heavy. Everything was blurred around the edges. 

His head was overwhelmingly heavy too, and achingly throbbing. He let it drop to the workbench, the cool wood pleasant on his hot forehead. He let his mouth hang open and tried to breathe, letting his nose drip gently into his handkerchief.

He must have dozed off, because Elliamina’s touch startled him some moments later. He turned to look at her, his cheek still on the bench.

“Why are you fighting yourself? You’re no good to anyone like this. The project can wait.”

“Will you mbake mbe some tea?” he asked pitifully, changing the subject. 

She rubbed his back, surveying him keenly. “I’ll make you some tea if you take it in bed.”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded, slowly pulling the blanket closer to himself as he rose and shuffled to the corner where his bed stood. He clumsily discarded his outer tunic and boots as he went, kicking them aside before falling onto the mattress and heaping blankets and pillows over himself, dozing immediately. His sister busied herself boiling the water and preparing the tea leaves. 

When it was ready, she shook him awake again and helped him sit up.

“I can do idt mbyself,” he muttered, shaking her off.

“You’re worn out enough,” she chided gently. “So let me help.”

He couldn’t argue with that. The tea was sweet and hot, the perfect temperature to start drinking immediately. But naturally, the warm liquid made his nose stream in earnest. His sister had been fussing around, fluffing his pillows and picking up his discarded clothes. When she noticed his sodden handkerchief, long past its usefulness, she quickly summoned another. He took it with a grateful smile, though the effect was somewhat ruined by his watery eyes. He blew his nose several times, but his sinuses were stopped tight, and blowing just made his head throb terribly.

Once the tea was gone and he had finally stopped shivering, he felt he couldn't keep his eyes open for another minute. He fell back into the bed as Elliamina dimmed the lights and covered him warmly. 

Mina watched as he seemed to slip into a doze immediately. After a moment, she returned to her cleaning. She had made up her mind that she would stay here with him until he was over the worst of this. And since she would be here for a while, she had decided she would scour his cottage from top to bottom. 

However, her brother couldn't seem to settle. He tossed and turned, coughing more and more often, the most awful-sounding fits. Finally he rolled over and opened his eyes, looking at her pitifully.

"I can'dt sleebp," he croaked. "First I'mb sweatig, then I'mb freezig. And I can'dt breathe for the coughig." 

She clicked her tongue, coming to his side. She felt his forehead and cheeks, and this time he let her, leaning his head into her hand. 

“You are so warm, Elm,” she tutted, brushing the sweaty hair off of his brow. “Would you like me to make you another tonic, a stronger one to help you sleep?”

He hesitated, then nodded miserably. 

“Just a moment, then.” She trotted to her cart, ingredients flying to her hands before she had even reached it. She made a potion double the strength of the first one, with a strong dash of sleeping draught. Turning, she made her way back to the bed with the steaming mug as her brother once more struggled into a sitting position, hindered by another coughing fit.

He swallowed the mixture in a few gulps, grimacing, whether from the taste or his sore throat, she wasn’t sure. Then, she helped him lie back yet again, propping him up with pillows so he could breathe easier. The process seemed to wear him out. His eyes drifted closed immediately. 

Elliamina tucked him in, straightening the blankets around him. He mumbled something incoherent as sleep overcame him.

“What did you say?”

“Stay with mbe,” he mumbled, his wheezy exhale turning into a snore.

“Don’t worry, I will,” she whispered, though she knew he did not hear. 

Elliamina spent the rest of the evening puttering around, finishing her deep scour, making soup for when her brother woke, tending to his garden, and other domestic things that she had helped him with since they were children. She gave special attention to his workbench. She cleaned it and sanitized it thoroughly, even using a special cleansing spell on the parchment he had been working on. Sure enough, as soon as it was clean, she saw many of the sigils reverse themselves to what they should be. With a little smile, she replaced the papers where she had found them. Meanwhile, the tonic did its job admirably; Elmrador hardly moved, and he was breathing much easier. The only sound he made for many hours was soft, even snoring.

Evening turned into night. Mina was an early sleeper and early riser. As soon as the sun was down, she made a little nest for herself with extra blankets and pillows on the freshly scoured floor in front of the fireplace. She was weary from her day’s efforts, and dropped off to sleep without any effort, expecting her brother to sleep soundly through the night as well.

Imagine her surprise when she was awakened by him jumping out of bed in the middle of the night and running to his workbench, lighting candles hastily as he went. He banged down into his desk chair, picked up his quill, and began scribbling furiously, muttering to himself.

“Elm? What ails you?” she yawned, getting to her feet and wrapping her shawl around herself to go stand at his side, feeling his forehead. His temperature seemed almost normal, though his cheeks were flushed. He paid her no mind.

“The spell. It came to me in my sleep. I know what I was missing.” He sniffled wetly, wiping his sleeve under his nose, but continued scribbling away. 

“I shan’t try to reason with you, since you’re so determined, though I wonder how you’re awake at all for how strong that tonic was. I don’t want to imagine the state you’ll be in in the morning.” She sighed softly. He seemed fine for now, but the tonic could only mask symptoms for so long.

With a shrug, she shuffled back to her nest. As she went, she mumbled: “Fates help you if you wake me again, though.” In front of the fire once more, she burrowed into her blankets, and was quickly lulled to sleep by the sound of his quill and his muttering. 

It was a harsh cough that woke her again in the morning, just as the sun was beginning to rise, but not hers. She yawned and stretched luxuriously. For a moment she forgot where she was, until a wet sneeze made her turn. 

Elmrador was just as she had left him the night before, hunched over his workbench. Spread out all around him were what appeared to be hundreds of chain shirts, and more were in the process of being finished. However, her brother looked more asleep than awake as he worked. Harsh, dark circles ringed his eyes, vivid against his pallor, as was his raw, chapped nose. Just as she noted this, the nose disappeared into his handkerchief .

“Hrrr’RUSH’eeww! Ahh’NNXGH’shuuh!”

“Oh Elm,” she murmured fondly. “You are in quite a state now, aren’t you?”

“Mbina… Good mornig. Loogk, I fidished mby prototype. Idt’s mby best worgk, I thingk.”

“It had better be, for you to be working as ill as you areYou look awful. You ought to go back to bed right away.”

“Id a few mbinutes. As sood as I fidish these three, I’ll have 300 done. Thed I cad automate themb to reblicate thembselves.”

Such a long speech made him cough harshly, his voice long gone. She tutted disapprovingly. “You’ll be in bed for a week after this. You’ve done yourself in, stubborn fool. 

“Id was worth idt,” he said, almost smugly. “Idt’s for the king.” 

“So you said,” she said, yet again rolling her eyes. “We’ll see if you can say the same in a few days.”

A hoarse grunt was his only reply. He had gone back to his work and needed all his remaining concentration to finish.

Seeing that he wasn’t moving until he reached his target, Elliamina did her own washing and grooming, cleaned up her bedding, and got coffee and breakfast going. Just as she was putting the eggs on, she saw him toss down his tools with a final flourish. However, as he said, the chain mail materials continued to manipulate themselves to form more armor even as Elmrador wearily stood, scrubbing his face and swiping at his dripping nose with a once again sodden handkerchief. 

A round of rough, barking coughs made him hunch over again a moment later, a hand pressed to his chest. A weak “ow” was all he could manage as he tried to catch his breath, a hand now at his temple.

“I didn’t thingk coughig could hurdt so mbuch,” he wheezed.

“Only when you push your body past its limit. Come along, it’s bed for you for the foreseeable future, you dunce.” She moved to his side and grasped his elbow, leading him back to his mattress.  

“You don’dt ndeed to help mbe walk, I’m ndot an invalid, only full of cold,” he muttered, trying to pull away. Mina was not dissuaded.

“Be that as it may, I’d rather help you get there just the same. You look as if a strong breeze will blow you over, and then where would I be?”

He deigned not to reply and instead allowed her to seat him on the edge of the bed where he swayed weakly as she helped him remove his sweaty clothes and don his nightshirt before propping him up against a heap of pillows, as his wheezy breathing was rather worrying her. She plied him once more with tea and tonic, which he accepted without a fuss. Then she brought over the plate of steaming eggs and toast. He made a face and pushed it away.

“I don’dt like eggs even whed I’mb ndot sick. I cerdainly don’dt wandt themb ndow.”

“Ah, so that’s why you have so many eggs. Well, would you at least eat the toast?”

He grunted noncommittally and took a half-hearted bite, taking a long time to chew and swallow. He only managed to finish half a slice before he pushed that away too. “Can’dt. Throadt hurdts too mbuch. Jusdt mbakes mbe feel sicker.” He gamely finished his tea though as she watched worriedly.

“You never turn down food. You’re already a beanstalk, Elm. I wish you would eat something.”

A rough cough was the only reply he could manage as he quickly coasted toward sleep once again. Mina sighed and decided to let him sleep, putting the food aside. That was what he needed most now anyway. 

And sleep he did, for a long time. Yet his work was not done. He had to get up for a few hours the next day, for once all the shirts were complete he had to do the final quality review of the armor. Elliamina hovered worriedly at his elbow as he did intricate magic to test the limits of his creations. He was so weak he could hardly stand, arms shaking and face flushed as he cast. He had to sit often to catch his breath and wait out bouts of lightheadedness or coughs, but he would be damned before he delivered a subpar product to the king. Mina assisted him as best as she was able, doing whatever she could for his health and ensuring he didn't harm himself.

 After hours of rigorous testing, he finally pronounced them suitable, while Elmrador himself ached with weariness. Without another word, he proceeded to crawl back into bed and bury himself in blankets, immediately beginning to snore as one deeply exhausted.

He passed most of the next several days in an illness and tonic-induced slumber. He was miserable when he was awake, every fiber of his being aching or throbbing. Mina forced him to eat and drink whenever she could, but mostly he wanted to sleep, and she let him do just that. 

He was in fact asleep when the king's men arrived for the armor. A small crew of men rode up to the cottage with much pomp and ceremony. Mina greeted them in the garden, introducing herself as the sorcerer's assistant. They were immediately enthralled with her, as was everyone that met her for the first time, and she utilized this to expertly manage the transaction. Within 20 minutes the men were departing with many sacks of chain shirts in their cart, ecstatic with their purchase, while Mina carried a hefty pouch of gold, more than Elm had originally bargained for, into the cottage. Elmrador was still asleep, oblivious to it all. She knew he had lost track of the days some time ago, and she didn't see a reason to excite him until he was better.

Instead of waking him, she safely hid the gold in his stores. She then pulled up her chair once more to her place beside his bed, took up her needlework, and softly began to hum as she worked while her brother slept on peacefully.

[weaverofthreads]

On the process of writing a novel...

Ok, so this began as a DM to a very dear friend who had said they were super excited to work on a novel of theirs that they'd abandoned for years, but they felt a bit lost when looking at the project again. They had "too many characters, too many intrigues" and they didn't "know how to create order" for all their ideas. They didn't know "what to keep, what to remove, what to change" and wanted to know if I had any tips.  

I began to reply in messages and then realised I needed to make a whole post out of it, so here it is! All 3k words of it. This is for you, darling! I hope it helps.

Things I found extremely helpful when planning my novel for NaNoWriMo this year, after also taking some time off from it.  

Most of this comes from Alicia Lidwina’s Four-Part article on her NaNoWriMo prep process, and setting up a writer’s notebook, for 2018. You can find the link to the first part here and I highly recommend you check out the whole series of articles for a more in-depth read. 

Content of this ‘essay’: 

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials

Project 'Stats' & Overview  

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

Things to Consider, and Important Bullet Points

Get to Know Your Characters  

Chronological Order

Tangential and Preceding Events

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, Sub Plot Ideas  

List of Locations

Scenes

Chapter Outline

NaNo Plan

Additional Notes and Tips for Writing

Ok. Let's begin.  

First of all, I'm not saying that this is the only way to write or organise a novel. It can be tackled in as many ways as there are writers in the universe. This is just the method I used to get my ideas crystallised and organised. 

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials.  

Take your preparation seriously. I bought a cheap but still nice A4 sketchbook with blank paper for maybe £2 at the local hobby store, and used it solely for the purposes of being my Novel Notebook. It doesn’t have to be a pretty, perfect, Aesthetic(TM) journal at all. Its function is to act as a route-guide through the process.  

I bought a cute sticker from Etsy and used it as the front cover design so that I liked the book and that it felt a little bit special, without being too intimidating to put a mark in. Then I left the very first page blank, and opened it to the first double page. On the left, I wrote ‘Contents’ and then moved on to the right and wrote ‘Project Stats and Overview’.  

I used a pen that was comfortable to write with, which for me was important. I’m a very tactile person, and having nice paper and pens (not necessarily fancy), made the process feel good.

Project Stats and Overview

This is the bare bones of the book, and includes details such as:

Project Working Title: (in my case it’s Weaver of Threads)

Targeted Wordcount: (to give yourself an idea of the scope, but it’s not necessary. For me it’s 50-100k)

Genre: (for me, fantasy)

Series: (will it be one book or more? For me, probably more than one, and at least two).  

Inspiration: (here you can jot down all sorts of things which inspire your world and your writing, and it can be anything. In my case, I began with “density and lore, and feeling of being grounded in a real world from LOTR and Tolkien.” And I went on to include other writers and novels in the fantasy genre, as well as elements from our own world, such as Mongolian herding communities and way of life, the history of the Persian Empire, and Renaissance Florence!).  

Project Timeline: Give yourself a structure, and be realistic. If you know you’re a slow writer who’s prone to distractions, be generous, but if you’re someone who responds well to short deadlines, tighten the time frame up a bit. I said “November 2020 - November 2021 for the whole manuscript” because I know I’m a procrastinator who gets dejected if they shoot past intense deadlines….

Editing Deadline: December 2021-January 2022. I know I can edit fairly quickly, so I made this one much shorter.  

Main Requirements Prior to Starting: What do you need to get sorted before you can get going? It could be purchasing a laptop or figuring out a magic system. In my case, it was the latter.  

What Happens in your novel?: This is not ‘what do your characters do?’, but what, in one sentence, actually happens in the book. For Fellowship of the Ring, you could say ‘a diverse group of people assemble and set off together with the goal of destroying the Ring’. LOADS more stuff actually takes place, obviously, but that’s probably the key thing that happens in that book. So, write the same thing for yours. I’m not going to tell you what happens in mine, because that would spoil it :).  

That took up the first A4 page of my writer’s notebook, and after that, I moved on to Mood and Key Imagery. 

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

On the left hand side of the page, I wrote down the words and concepts that sprang to mind when I thought of the novel itself. These were in no particular order or placement — just a random cloud of ideas in a rough column on the left hand side of the page — and they included: history, mystery, love, friendship, betrayal, nostalgic, homesick, sense of belonging, sense of place, searching, closeness, secrets… etc. etc.

Then on the right hand side, I wrote down five key words that I wanted to associate with the novel. These would form the ‘visual aesthetic’ in the background of my mind, and could be very easily expressed with a moodboard.

This same process (writing down words and creating a moodboard) could be achieved on a website like Pinterest. Take your time with it, find the right visual clues that really match the essence of your story, and create a final mood board with a limited number of panels that will be your novel’s ‘true north’ when it comes to feelings. If you're artistically inclined too, you could draw sketches of things relevant to your world too.  

While this stage is really important for solidifying the feeling and mood of the novel, don’t get stuck here and spend forever procrastinating on Pinterest or whatever. Once you’ve crystallised that ambiance, it’s time to move on. It’s also perfectly fine to come back to this at a later stage if you find yourself running out of inspiration or drifting a bit. Daydreaming, drawing, mood-board-ing are all great ways to work on your novel on days when you don’t feel like writing.

Things to Consider:

Alicia Lidwina asked herself some questions which helped me get past the ‘block’ that I’d created when thinking about the novel, and those were:

What scares me about this story? (in my case it was the scope of it - it was easy for me to get lost in over-thinking tiny details and get too overwhelmed to handle the big picture)

What will readers take away from it? (in my case, I hoped that it was a sense of friendship, people from desperate cultures finding common ground, and a sense of being grounded in a real, tangible world.

What is its selling point? (essentially, why would an agent/publisher choose yours over the next one in the pile?). Don’t be bashful about this. This is your notebook, so if you’re proud of a feature or aspect of the story, write it down. In my case, there is no ‘Big Bad come to destroy the world’, no Chosen One who is the only one who can stop it. There is an antagonist, but it’s on a personal scale, and that’s the selling point. It’s about two people going on a personal journey to uncover a lost piece of knowledge that’s arguably not all that world-changing on its own, but which means the world to them.  

What will be the three biggest issues in writing the first draft? Identify the three biggest roadblocks, and then take a bulldozer to them. For me, it was time management, getting mentally stuck, and the sheer darned effort of it becoming overwhelming!

Important Bullet Points  

These are five key facts about your novel, distilled from the sections above. They include: What’s at the heart of the story? How long is the story? What’s the narrative focus of the story? What are the maximum number of main characters? And the maximum number of supporting characters (this obviously doesn’t mean you can’t have other, less important characters too!)?  

Relationship between the two main characters is forefront

50-100k words

The novel’s focus is on the characters’ main goal (had to be more vague here so I didn't give it away)

2 main characters

3 supporting characters  

If you find you’ve got too many main characters (not necessarily a bad thing to have a lot of characters - look at A Song of Ice and Fire after all!), then figure out whose story you want to tell here. You can always write another story with other characters in a connected novel, or a sequel. You don’t have to tell everything all at the same time.  

Speaking of characters… 

…Get to Know Your Main Characters:  

Here you can write character sheets for each of your main characters and cast. There are hundreds of these templates available on the internet, asking questions like ‘how would your character react to [insert event]?’ etc. to get to know your character. If this isn’t your thing (it isn’t mine) then at least write down some useful information about them. Rough height and weight, hair, eye and skin colour, general temperament, and any other defining physical or mental traits. 

Next came the Chronological Order

This does not have to represent the final order of the novel’s structure, nor the order in which you write the manuscript, but you need to know what happened within the timeline, and when, in order to be really clear when you’re telling the story. You can write the manuscript out of order, and you can tell the story with flashbacks or in a different order, but you need to have the underlying chronology securely in place so that your writing makes sense and so that you don’t confuse yourself or the readers in the process.  

Preceding and Tangential Events

These don’t need to be in the novel itself, but it may be important to define the sequence of events that also led up to the moment where we pick up your story, and what is happening elsewhere so that you can be sure of these too. In my case, I defined the events that concerned one of the supporting characters’ lives so that I knew how and why they were at the point they are in the story. It relates directly to - and heavily influences - the events of the novel, so I needed to have this person’s history nailed down as well, even though I don't tell it all explicitly in the book (because that would be unnecessary and a bit dull).  

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, and Sub-Plot Ideas (plus writing a synopsis)

Alicia Lidwina defined the story premise helpfully with the following formula:

Story Premise = Main Character + Desire + Obstacle

Pick a different colour for each of these components, and write a short paragraph to explain them in the context of the novel. Alicia Lidwina used the following:

[Main Character] “Harry, an orphan who didn’t know that he’s a wizard, [Desire] got invited into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and wanted to live his school life to its fullest, [Obstacle] but a certain Dark Lord who killed his parents is trying to rise into powers again and kill him in revenge.

Do this for your novel, and keep it really short.  

Plot Definition: This is even shorter than that! It’s a single sentence!! It’s most closely tied to the desire of the character, and lies at the heart of the story. It’s most likely a distilled version of the ‘what happens in the story’ from the Project Stats page, so check that to see what you wrote there.  

Sub Plot Ideas  

Five bullet points (no more) for things that are happening concurrently and which are related in some way to the main story. For me, Kae and Tomas are doing their research, so that’s the main theme, but beneath that there are a few other related incidents.

Writing a Synopsis - developed out of the points in this section, and includes:

Who the main character is

What the stakes are (the story premise is your guideline)

What the main plot line is

How the MC resolves the problem in the main plot line

How the book ends.

List of Locations  

Start with the main ones and add to it as you go on. Write a little bit of information about them so that you have something to refer back to. I also drew a big old map which I found very helpful and also really fun to do.

List of Scenes

It’s very important to map out every single scene that happens in the novel. Use your timeline to help with this, but remember a scene is not necessarily a chapter. You can have more than one scene within a chapter, but try not to have too many.  

I used small post-it notes (sticky notes) and wrote down things like “M joins K’s clan at the fire and K learns about magic” and “K studies at Citadel, intro to Citadel, magic, and characters” as separate scenes. Once you’ve written down everything that is going to happen (this will take some time! Get a drink and some snacks ready, and go slow), you can stick them into your notebook in the order you’d like to tell the story. Some chapters may have just one scene, while others may have two or three. I didn’t have more than two in any of my chapters, and actually ended up splitting some scenes that I’d made too vague in this section into more chapters. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but it will form a road map.  

Additions and Notes:  

I left a section of the Scene Outline bit of the notebook blank for things to add in as I went along. I haven’t used it yet, but I might.  

Chapter Outline

I arranged the scenes into the chapters already by sticking them in order, but you could do a chapter outline separately after this. It’s up to you. 

NaNoWriMo plan:  

I did this back in October, and wrote down the main goal for nanoprep, which was to finish the background info. Breaking that down further, I listed - magic (how does it work exactly), geography, and politics. 

After that, it was just a case of writing the 1667 words a day. *spoilers, I got distracted and didn’t do NaNo this year* . What I should have done, was break it up into chunks and write down my goals so that I had something tangible to use as a road map, and I will be doing that now for the novel as I take it up again outside of NaNo. Having check boxes and manageable goals really works for me. Find what will work for you, and if it turns out not to, adapt!

Some final pointers and tips:

Set regular goals for yourself. Whether you work by saying ‘I’ll write 1000 words a day’ or ‘I’ll write something every day’, make a structure for yourself. If you slip and miss a day, week, or month (I didn’t meet NaNo this year because I chose to work on another project instead *slaps forehead*), don’t beat yourself up. Writing is a craft and it takes a long time and a lot of discipline to master a craft.  

Your first draft does not have to be good. At all. Your first draft is just words on paper. A first draft is the block of marble taken from the quarry, and subsequent edits and reworking is the process of carving the sculpture itself. The editing that is done by the publisher or the professional you employ to edit it for you later, is the final polishing. Don’t be demoralised if the block of marble seems very rough when it first lands in your studio. That’s ok!  

Take regular breaks. Writing is hard work, and most people can’t concentrate on something successfully for longer than 55 min's, and if you’re doing that, you’re already doing really well. Personally, I’m at 15-20 on a good day. Write in little sprints of ten minutes or so, and then get up and stretch, look out the window, maybe leave the room, come back in with a fresh approach.  

Stretch your hands, and wear wrist braces when you work. Seriously. I gave myself tendinitis on my first major project, and couldn’t use either hand properly for weeks. The ones I have are these, and they allow me to work safely for much longer.  

Keep hydrated. Have a bottle of water on the desk in front of you between your arms as you type and sip it, otherwise you’ll forget. 2 litres a day is usually recommended, but know your body and drink accordingly.  

Treat yourself. Whether that’s something as simple as a decadent hot chocolate after your first chapter/chunk/sprint is done, or a new notebook or a pen or that sticker set you wanted on Etsy or literally anything nice, reward yourself for the hard work you’ve put in, with tangible things you can look at or experience and say ‘I have that because I did the work’. It’ll help with your sense of achievement, especially if the project is a long one.  

Join a local writer’s group for feedback. With the current Covid-19 chaos, this is probably not possible right now, but getting constructive feedback on your work from someone who hasn’t been cocooned in the project in the way you are, but who respects you as a writer and wants to help you grow, will be invaluable. It’s too easy to exist in a little isolated bubble and think you’re doing ok, when in reality you could be creating bad habits which will be difficult to break later. By these, I mean things like ‘filler words’ you don’t realise you use, or other pit-falls it’s easy to tumble into when you can’t see the wood for the trees…It’s intimidating, and it might take some courage to work up and do, but I promise it’ll help you grow. You don’t have to do what the people suggest, but it’s great to get outside opinions all the same.

Submit work to writing competitions. This will help with showing agents and publishers later down the line that you’re not only committed, but hopefully talented, and will help you to push yourself. Use the world of your novel for the setting, and get to know it by writing short stories on the competition’s theme set there.  

Read. Read the writers you admire, and read them ‘actively’ - figure out exactly what it is about ‘that’ sentence that made you shiver, and use the same techniques in your own work (don’t plagiarise, obviously, but if it was alliteration that made the sentence work so well, use it yourself! Perhaps it was the metre of the line? Great, now you know a rhythm that will drive a sentence forward or slow it down etc.)

Enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, it’ll show in the work. Take a step back if you start floundering, and ‘interview’ yourself about why it’s not fun any more. Refer back to the sections in the notebook that helped to clarify the plot/process, and see if you’ve wandered away from them. Make yourself answer questions like: ‘What is the main reason I don’t want to do this?’ ‘What is the character’s motivation?’ ‘Should I scrap this section?’ (don’t delete it, but cut and paste it into another ‘scraps’ document, and then start afresh from the last place you were happy with. Nothing is wasted - it all goes into building the world and getting to know the characters, even if it doesn’t get explicitly told in the finished product, so don’t be afraid to do that last bit).  

Good luck!

I hope you found this helpful, and if you have any questions or things you’d like to add to this, please feel free to send me an ask here on Tumblr.

If you’re a new writer hoping to get an agent or publisher, you might also find this post on ‘talking to a published author’ helpful or interesting.

If you would like to keep up to date with my own novel’s progress, you can follow me here on Tumblr, as well as on my writing Instagram @rnpeacock