#i wrote all of this today almost 1000 words

[angelyuji]

seafood, see food!

happy halloween and also happy last day of kinktober!!

eddie brock x venom x f!reader

tw // she/her pronouns used, kidnapping, implied noncon, monster/creature-in-the-woods symbrock, yandere content ahead

minors dni!!! 18+!!!!!

you had started your hike an hour ago, excited to see the waterfall your friends had been raving about. however, after following the wrong path for an hour, you ended up stranded with no cell phone connection, no food, and no person in sight. you turned the map once more, looking for rest station, “maybe i was holding it wrong…” you mumble, head aching as the map only got more confusing. you take a breath and fold the map back up, continuing to follow the path. you walk into the forest for another 5 minutes when you hear a branch break. you stop, straining your ears to listen. your heart pounds as you notice the trees shake one-by-one before stopping at a tree behind you. you hear an animalistic growl from above and you take off, sprinting down the path, veering off to lose the animal. the voice in your head screams at you to run faster as the growls get closer. you can feel tears dripping down your face, blurring your vision. you try to wipe your face when you slam into a large warm chest. you scream as you fall back, spraining your ankle on the way down.

“oh god, i-i’m so sorry.” a hand reaches out to help you up. you look up at the man, taking in his half-naked appearance. chiseled jaw, tattoos down his arms and chest, and a rough beard. he looked exhausted, anxious, and soaked. “you alright?” his voice was soft, as he grasps your elbow to help you up.

you try to stand but pain shoots up your ankle, you hold onto his bicep, “s-something’s trying to k-kill me.” you sob and the man keeps you steady with an arm falling around your waist.

“woah, woah, what’s trying to kill you?” he looks around. you try to point behind you and he looks around. “i don’t see anything… but let’s find some shelter just in case.” he gives you a small smile and you nod, sniffling. the two of you start walking and after a couple minutes of silence, he speaks, “eddie.” he looks at you, “m-my name. it’s eddie.”

you manage a small smile as you limp, “(y/n).” he opens his mouth to respond when you feel a drop of water fall onto your cheek. eddie wipes it away, but you start to feel more fall. “shit” you look around, hoping to see some kind of shelter, and spot a cave in the distance. “eddie, over there.” you point towards the cave. he nods and picks you up. you let out a startled noise as eddie sprints, trying to get out of the rain as fast as he could. the two of you duck into the cave and he settles you onto a relatively flat rock.

“you okay, sweetheart?” eddie kneels down to look at your face, you feel your face warm at the nickname and you nod. he sighs in relief, “good…” he looks out at the pouring rain, “we’ll have to wait for the rain to stop.”

you look out, lips pursing in annoyance, “yeah…” you sit back against the wall of the cave, the exhaustion catching up to you.

“you should sleep. i’ll- uh- wake you up when the rain stops.” he gives you a reassuring smile and you barely got out a thank you before you dozed off.

“she’s perfect”

“no.”

“eddie, i am hungry. you have been starving me for days.”

“she- i like her. you-you can’t eat her.” … “i’ll let you eat the next person we see, i swear. just… not her.”

“fine. i won’t eat her.”

“thank y-”

“however, i am still hungry. so what will you allow me to do?” you peek an eye open as you watch eddie whisper to himself, you hear him continue to argue to the air before huffing and relenting.

“fine. just… make it quick. the rain looks like it’ll stop soon.” he turns and you quickly shut your eyes tight.

‘keep your breathing even, (y/n). don’t let the crazy stranger you basically followed into a cave know you’re awake.’ you start to feel yourself panic at the realization. the rain continued to steadily pour outside.

“you awake, sweetheart?” eddie’s smooth voice crawls into your ear and you feel a hand on your thigh, your breath hitched at the feeling.

‘shit.’ you open your eyes slowly, pretending to just wake. you fake a yawn, testing your ankle as you stretch, “h-has the rain stopped?” you try to smile, wincing in pain.

eddie sits back onto his heels, putting your hurt foot onto his thigh. “no, the rain doesn’t seem like it’ll stop for a while…” he looks at you, eyes filled with worry. you try to pull back, but he grips your calf. “ankle still hurts?”

“y-yeah, but it’s fine. i think i can walk now.” you try to move, but eddie keeps his hold firm.

“no, it’s not safe.” he shakes his head. he starts to massage your ankle and you feel tears start to fall. he looks at you, worried. “hey, hey! it’s fine, just go back to sleep. i’ll wake you up when-”

“NO.” you start to hyperventilate, using your other leg to shove eddie off by the shoulder. he falls onto his butt in surprise. “i want to leave. now. i am going to leave now and-and you can’t stop me.” you grip the wall, pulling yourself up. eddie’s face wilts, hurt painting his face.

“i know you’re scared. i’m sorry.” he stands up, turning away from you to face the entrance. “i really would’ve rather done this when you were asleep.”

“done- done what?” you carefully move along the wall, keeping your distance. you pause as you see black tar start to envelop him. “what the fuck…” you watch as the black goo completely encases him, your head tilts up as the creature towers over you.

“hello, pretty.” it turns to look at you, giving you a sharp toothy grin. “our dear eddie was keeping you all to himself…” he stalks towards you, you limp back. “but at the end of the day, there is nothing eddie loves more than to share… with me.” he leans forward and you cower.

“p-please don’t. p-please don’t k-kill me.” a sob rips out of you as the creature opens his mouth. it barks out a loud laugh.

“i will not kill you.” his tongue stretches out to lick up your face, tasting your tears and leaving behind saliva. you shiver at the feeling. it grins as it’s face opens up. you watch eddie’s eyes shine with glee, “we am going to make you feel very, very, very good.”

[ranhaitanisgf]

Congrats on 2k 🎉. Can I have headcanons of “girl next door” and “going on a date in a flower field” with Senju. And they share their first kiss together. Fluff. Thanks.

— senju kawaragi [akashi] // girl next door // date in a flower field

[𖤐] me after going 500 words over once again lol. i couldnt help it though okay it was too cute to keep at just 1000 words....anywho. thank you for requesting this anon, and i hope the wait was worth it! enjoy my loveliessss xoxo

wc ; 1.5k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

♡ a big smile stretched across your lips as you hefted open the window in your room; you already knew that your day was going to get better as soon as you saw senju’s face popping out of her own window, waving her arms crazily to try and get your attention. 

“senjuuu, what’s up?”  “do you wanna go somewhere with me today?! i found this amazing place that i think you’ll love!!” 

♡ you immediately agreed; how could you have said no to the excited look on her face? 

♡ she had given you exactly zero details though, so you weren’t exactly sure what to be getting ready for. whatever the circumstances though, you were very excited. sure, maybe it was a bad thing that you were hiding your feelings from your friendly neighbor, but it wasn’t like it was harming anything, so it was fine, right? 

♡ you threw some random things into a bag and hastily fixed your hair, checking your reflection in the mirror to make sure that you look alright. when you were satisfied, you hastily wrote a note down where you were going and stuck it on the fridge, exiting your house and looking around for senju. 

“boo!”  “hm? oh, hi! where are we going?” 

♡ senju groaned at your lack of reaction to her attempt at a sneak attack, grumbling about how you were supposed to act scared as she pulled your cheeks, stretching them out with a grumpy look. you only laughed, her expression being quite cute as she pouted. she eventually stopped, grabbing your hand to drag you over to her bike, handing you a helmet as she preached about how you need to protect your head, (she brushed it off when you asked about her own head, saying that she would probably be fine). 

♡ you reluctantly put on the helmet after her insistence, although you were sure to let her know that next time you would not get on her bike if she also didn’t have a helmet. 

“you’re such a worrywart, (y/n)! do you reallyyy think i would do something stupid and get hurt?”  “yes.”  “what!?”

♡ you tried your best to act completely normal as you wrapped your arms around senju’s waist, but you couldn’t help the giddy smile that came from having physical contact with her, (you were just really glad that she couldn’t see you looking like an idiot). despite the fact that you wanted to pull a little bit closer to her, you refrained, going your best to keep a healthy distance between the two of you while still holding onto her. 

♡ it was a lot harder than you could’ve imagined; all the times she would speed through the light as it was turning yellow made you press closer to her than you were originally intending, but you figured if she asked about it that you would blame it on her driving skills. yeah, that’s it. 

♡ you had absolutely no clue as to where you two were going, and your curiosity increased tenfold when senju started driving out of the city limits. you didn’t ask any questions though, feeling a bit excited at being surprised by something. of course though, you didn’t get your hopes up too much. there was absolutely no way she felt the same about you, so you did your best to squash those thoughts before they could emerge. it wasn’t exactly working. 

♡ after another thirty minutes of driving, senju suddenly pulled over to the side of the road, slowing down and turning the engine off. 

“i almost missed it! that would’ve been bad, but anyways, we’re here! let’s go!”

♡ you hastily pulled the helmet off of your head, frantically running after senju as you tried to fix your hair. she had already began the journey to whenever she was taking you, her jogging somehow being a lot faster than your running, (serious, why was she so fast?). 

“we’re here!”  “wait for me, agh, ‘m so tired…woah.”  “right?! let’s go!!” 

♡ you had to stop and do a double take when you finally caught up with her; in front of you was the most wide and vast field of flowers that you had ever seen in your life. the most beautiful sight though, was seeing senju in front of you, waving at you to come and join her. the giddy smile that was on her face as she called your name was making your heart skip several beats, and you could only hope that she didn’t have some sort of super hearing as you walked over to her, trying to keep your eyes on the flowers instead of her. 

“isn’t it awesome, (y/n)?!”  “yeah, it’s super pretty!” 

♡ before you could say anything else, senju had plopped herself down onto the ground, picking some flowers from around her and laying them in her lap, urging you to join her with a blinding smile. 

♡ you hadn’t exactly been sure what she wanted to do in a flower field aside from admire it, but it was obvious now that she wanted to make flower jewelry. over the course of many hours, she did her best to teach you about how to weave the flowers into a flower crown, and how to make bracelets and necklaces. sometimes, she would get over excited and would stop explaining the steps, but she would immediately go back to helping you when she noticed your confusion in trying to copy her steps. 

♡ the day was coming to a close; the sky was filled with beautiful bursts of pinks and oranges, and despite the fact that it was gorgeous, it also meant that you and senju would have to leave soon. 

“aaand, there’s one last thing!”  “oh, what is it?”  “this!” 

♡ from behind her back, senju pulled out a tiny circle of small flowers, woven together to create a ring shape. with no words, she gently grabbed your hand, taking the flower ring and slipping it onto your ring finger. it was taking the most amount of resistance in you to try and not interpret it as something else, but you couldn’t help the quickening pace of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach. 

♡ when you heard senju giggling in front of you, you turned your gaze from the ring to her. you weren’t sure what she was laughing at, but you felt a bit of embarrassment anyways, hoping that you weren’t making a dumb face while you spaced out for a moment. 

“you’re so cute, (y/n)!”  “...don’t say things like that…”  “awh, why not?”  “it could make someone get the wrong idea.”  “i’m not trying to make you get the wrong idea though.” 

♡ the gleeful look on senju’s face was immediately replaced with a serious expression, her eyes suddenly seeming like they were staring into your soul. you swallowed, laughing a little nervously as you tried to figure out what she was saying. 

♡ before you could say anything more, senju had scooched closer to you, her knees moving to rest on top of yours as you leaned back a bit. it was all a little bit more than your heart could handle, and you were sure that if she came any closer you would explode. 

“well, i was more talking about if you said that to another person, they might think something different…”  “you’re the only one i would say that to, (y/n).” 

♡ she had you completely shocked now; your words stopped working. how were you supposed to respond to that? 

♡ senju, apparently, didn’t need any more words from you. her serious expression morphed into a playful one as she climbed onto your lap, pushing you down onto the soft bed of flowers and hovering above you. 

♡ your heart was now beating a million miles a minute, especially with her being directly above you and staring at you with such a soft look in her eyes. you didn’t dare to move; if this was a dream, you did not want to wake up anytime soon. 

♡ without another moment to think about anything else, senju suddenly leaned down right above your face, pausing for a moment and looking at you with a questioning look. when she was sure that you weren’t going to pull away, she gently slotted her lips against yours, seeming a bit hesitant as the two of you looked at each other. 

♡ when you finally realized you weren’t dreaming, you closed your eyes and brought your hand up to her head, threading your fingers through her hair and bringing her closer. senju’s hesitance was immediately thrown out the window at this; her lips moved against yours, feeling velvety soft and warm as her hand went to cup your cheek. 

♡ after a few moments, she pulled away, a warm smile on her face. you had no idea what kind of expression you had on right now; you couldn’t seem to control anything due to the pounding of your heart. senju suddenly flopped, dropping directly onto you and tucking her face into your neck. 

“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”

[daboyau]

Two options!

“You were my brother. Now I don’t think we’re even friends.”

“Of course I love you! I always have, always will. There’s a lot to love.”

So funny enough I actually wrote almost 1000 words of angst for that second one, decided I didn’t like it, scrapped it, and then came up with a different idea I haven’t written out yet. I will finish and post that one at a later date. Here, have a silly one instead of an angsty one.

@boots-with-the-fur-club

The living room is in shambles. The couch had been overturned at some point, and pillows and blankets dot the room like bodies scattered across a battlefield. Leo kneels amongst the carnage, head hanging low, fists trembling as he braces himself against the cold concrete floor. His breath hitches as he hears Mikey laugh, low and cruel and full of the satisfaction of victory. Leo shakes his head, throat tight as he forces himself to face the betrayal that will shatter him. 

Mikey’s eyes shine bright in the flickering, artificial light. His smile stretches too wide, flashing teeth flecked with red. Leo shudders, breath catching in his throat. 

“Mikey…why?” he breathes, limbs trembling as he forces himself to stand, rising slowly to his full height. Mikey seems unconcerned, head tipping back to keep his eyes trained unerringly on Leo’s own. Meeting the stunned, hurt gaze with a smug expression of his own. For one terrible, heart wrenching second, Leo wonders if he ever knew his baby brother at all. Though it hurts, he forces himself to say, “You were my brother. Now, I don’t think we’re even friends.” 

Mikey barks a laugh, sharp and cruel. He shakes his head, though those bright eyes never leave Leo’s face. His voice is low and serious as he says, “Bonds mean nothing in the face of survival.”

Leo makes a small, hurt noise. For the briefest second, he sees a flash of the brother he once knew. Someone kind. Generous. Sweet. Someone he had trusted. 

“Leo,” Mikey begins, cracking first, just like he knew he would. That single brief flicker of uncertainty is all it takes for him to lower his guard. Leo strikes out, moving lightning quick, snatching the box of takeout from Mikey’s hands before darting backwards out of arms’ reach. Mikey squawks, hands reaching uselessly out to try to catch him, but he’s no match for a slider’s speed! Leo crows his triumph, rushing to crouch behind the flipped sofa, shoveling as much orange chicken into his mouth as he can manage in the scant seconds before Mikey is on him again and the fight for food begins all over. 

Mikey is halfway through destroying Leo’s temporary cover when a sound stops them cold, both boys freezing in place in abject horror. Leo’s cheeks bulge, but the looming threat of doom keeps him from swallowing. Mikey’s arms tremble from the strain of keeping the sofa hoisted above his head, but he dares not move, stuck like a rabbit hoping that if he freezes then the hawk will not descend to pluck him up into its terrible talons. All they can do is pray that their misdeeds will go unnoticed.

There is no god smiling down upon them today. 

“Boys!” Splinter roars as he takes in the state of the living room he had left only long enough to get a snack from the kitchen. “Which of you moved my chair and movie projector?!”

“He did!” they chorus as one, and without waiting for a response, they both run from the impending dressing down that is sure to follow. Splinter watches their retreating shells and chuckles to himself, grabbing the abandoned leftovers and settling into his chair to enjoy his meal. 

[callipraxia]

Things I Learned This Morning:

1) Using print instead of script, which would be faster but less tidy, I may hand-write not far under 1300 words per hour when things are going well. (The exact number was 1267 words)

2) My brain harbors an irrational hatred for the number 4 apparently? (I kept almost skipping it and having to go back and erase the little number above fourth words because I wrote 4 as 5, for instance, going straight from 223 to 225 before I caught myself.)

3) Taking a pencil and individually numbering every word you wrote takes a really long time.

4) Apparently my brain also cannot handle writing a series of numbers that consistently go above two digits. I transpose digits, forget the first digit, write 8 instead of 3, write 5 instead of 8, write 2 instead of 9….I made it through the first 1000 but counted the remainder in blocks of 1-100 in the interests of staying tolerably sane.

5) My print is indeed much more legible than my script, but also, oww, my elbow feels like it’s about to crack right now and my hand feels all twisted up inside, ow ow ow.

(Backstory: I’ve been stuck in a rut for a while, so I decided to say “what the heck” and try to force myself to write a rough draft of one of my fanfic ideas for NaNoWriMo. I’m printing because I am currently Resolved to write a complete rough draft and then revise it, all before posting anything. Then, in theory, I’ll post it by chapter on an actual *posting schedule*. However, since I have never managed to muster the kind of discipline needed to keep working on a project nobody has seen and praised some part of for that long in my entire life…we’ll see. Plus, it might be easy enough to make it to the word count minimum today, but I only just finished the setup phase of the first scene, getting Pacifica from “the alarm clock rang” and through “Pacifica reflects on what mornings in Northwest Manor were like compared to her new life” to the point of “Pacifica has gotten out of bed.” That kind of writing is super-easy for me, but the kinds where things actually happen can be…much slower going. Which means I’ll have to apply even *more* discipline to make quotas on some days. So basically I, a deeply scattered and undisciplined person, am basically attempting to overhaul my personality for at least a month, lol. Wish me luck, folks….

For my GF peeps, I hope that you’ll enjoy the results if this project does amount to anything, even though it is a bit of a departure from my ‘usual’ material. You see, I have a lifelong, deep-seated love for books set in schools/based around school years, and I have decided to combine that with my desire to write some post-canon material. We’re picking up very shortly after the finale, with the first day of school in Gravity Falls - the Pineses should have some involvement, here and there, but mostly via phone and Internet. I’m sufficiently addicted to the “greater scope” that I don’t think I‘ll end up with something that is purely YA or a “girls’ book,” but it will involve focusing on more girls and therefore “girl stuff” than canon/anything I have written previously - Pacifica, Wendy, and Candy are all projected to be narrators, with Grenda also at least being an important character and possibly a fourth narrator. Compare to FWJB, where the narrators consisted of ten dudes, Bill, and Mabel…and although I put him in his own category, Bill does seem to use he/him pronouns when interacting with English-speaking mortals, and so one could very reasonably argue that the narrators consisted of eleven dudes plus Mabel. Soos may well get some narrator time, but this one also seems on course to primarily focus on the kid characters. Gulp. We’ll see how it goes….)

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Subscriptions

PLAY GAMES. RAW WORD DAILY

JOIN RAW STORY FOR JUST $1

About usGamesUS NEWSInvestigationsOpinionvideoHELPget the newsletter

RawStory+ Login

PLAY RAW WORD DAILY.

JOIN RAW STORY FOR JUST $1

Home

Shop to Support Independent Journalism

Trump

U.S. News

World

Science

Video

Investigations

Ethics Policy

RawStory+ Login

Cruelty is all the Republicans have left

Thom Hartmann

August 24, 2024 5:55AM ET

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) speaks to members of the press on the steps of the House of Representatives at the U.S. Capitol on May 8, 2024. (Photo by Kent Nishimura/Getty Images)

During the 1950s, Republicans were the party that promoted labor unions, Social Security, and a top 91% income tax bracket and 70% estate tax on the morbidly rich. Dwight Eisenhower successfully campaigned on what we’d call a progressive agenda for re-election in 1956.

During the Reagan years, Republicans embraced Milton Friedman’s neoliberalism with its free trade, opposition to unions, ending free college, and tax cuts for the fat cats. They called themselves “the party of new ideas.” They may have done more harm than good, but for most Republicans it was a good-faith effort.

Today, they’ve pretty much given up on all of that. All they have left is cruelty.

When Governor Tim Walz gave his heartwarming acceptance speech Wednesday night here at the DNC in Chicago, his son Gus was caught on camera proudly proclaiming, through tear-streaked eyes, “That’s my dad!”

The response from Trumpy Republicans was immediate: Ann Coulter wrote, “Talk about weird.” Rightwing hate jock Jay Weber posted, “Meet my son, Gus. He’s a blubbering b---- boy. His mother and I are very proud.” Trumpy podcaster Mike Crispi ridiculed Walz’s “stupid crying son,” adding, “You raised your kid to be a puffy beta male. Congrats.” Another well-known podcaster on the right, Alec Lace, said, “Get that kid a tampon already.”

Compassion for a learning-disabled child is dead on the right: all they have left is cruelty.

Ronald Reagan helped shepherd through Congress the most consequential border bill in American history, and when it needed updating Oklahoma’s Republican Senator James Lankford worked with Democrats to update it in a meaningful way. Trump demanded Republicans kill the legislation, invoking the memory of his tearing over 5,500 babies away from their mothers and trafficking them into fly-by-night “adoption” schemes (around 1000 are still missing) and his demand that the border patrol shoot immigrants in the legs.

Trump’s acolytes in Congress don’t even pretend any more to have a border policy: all they have left is cruelty.

Stephen Miller and 16 Republican state attorneys general are suing for the right to tear apart about a half million American families because at least one member of their family has brown skin and is not yet a US citizen.

Their hatred has almost no limit because all they have left is cruelty.

President George HW Bush worked with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev to unwind the USSR in the hope of creating a democratic Russia. Neither expected Vladimir Putin to turn that nation into a virtual concentration camp where gays are routinely murdered, child pornography is legal (and they’ve kidnapped over 700,000 Ukrainian children), and dissenters are tortured, poisoned, and sent to brutal Siberian gulags. Donald Trump celebrates Putin, calling his invasion of Ukraine “genius” and “savvy,” handing Putin’s ambassador a western spy and top-secret information in his first month in office, and trying to abandon America’s traditional role as a moral leader in the world.

Trump’s GOP has abandoned our founding principles: all they have left is cruelty.

During the 2020 election, Trump followers tried to run a Biden/Harris campaign bus off the road in Texas, threatening to kill the occupants (which they believed included Kamala Harris). A crazed Trump supporter broke into Nancy Pelosi’s home and attacked her 82-year-old husband with a hammer. Trump tweeted a picture of the bus being attacked, writing below it, “I LOVE TEXAS!” and repeatedly makes jokes about the attack on Pelosi, as if to encourage future attacks on the families of other Democratic politicians. Most recently, Donald Trump posted a picture on social media of Joe Biden tied up in the back of a pickup truck with a bullet hole in his forehead.

Not a single elected Republican (as best as I can find with a pretty thorough web search) has condemned any of these, because all they have left is cruelty.

Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis turned down federal money that would have fed 2.1 million low-income children in his state; he was one of 13 Republican governors to do the same, in a nation where one in seven children — over 11 million every year — go to bed hungry.

We are literally the only developed country in the world with a massive child hunger problem because all Republicans have left is cruelty.

When President Obama succeeded in passing and signing the Affordable Care Act, it offered every state funds to expand Medicaid to give healthcare coverage to all their low-income citizens with the federal government covering 90% of the cost. To this day, ten states under Republican control have refused to accept the money, leading to millions of preventable illnesses and early deaths.

Republican states could have joined all the Blue states and every other developed country in the world by providing universal healthcare, but refuse to because all they have left is cruelty.

When a 10-year-old girl was raped and impregnated, Republicans like Congressman Jim Jordan, Governor Kristi Noem, Fox’s Tucker Carlson and Jesse Waters, and Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost ridiculed the claim. When the rape and pregnancy were proven and the girl fled Ohio to a state where abortion was legal to terminate the pregnancy, Indiana's Republican Attorney General Todd Rokita promised to launch an “investigation.”

Rokita didn’t investigate the rape, however: he instead went after the physician who performed the abortion. Because cruelty is all Republicans have left.

When Donald Trump lost the 2020 election by seven million votes, he sent a violent mob against the US Capitol. As they tried to murder the vice president and speaker of the house, covered the walls of the building with feces and defaced priceless paintings, Trump gleefully watched on live television for over three hours while refusing to call in the national guard or take any other meaningful action.

Five civilians and three police officers died as the result of his sending that murderous mob because all he and his GOP have left is cruelty.

This week Americans saw Democrats display compassion, care, respect, and reverence for our democracy. We saw the best of this country, hope for the future, and actual plans to improve the lives of Americans.

Last month, in sharp contrast, we watched the Republican convention and saw, instead, a cavalcade of anger, bile, grievance, hate, and, of course, cruelty.

Because cruelty is all Republicans have left.

For customer support contact support@rawstory.com. Report typos and corrections to corrections@rawstory.com.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Day 3 of falling back in love with my book

Question of the day: Do I need to go back to absolute basics of planning?

Answer: Almost definitely

I really wish I had a big whiteboard; I love my timelines and everything online but sometimes you just wanna draw everywhere with randomness instead of typing, yk?

So I think the reason I have such a problem with the opening is because the plot feels more like a sequence of events strung together simply because they're happening to the same people instead of like... an actual plot. I think I need to completely pull back and redo an entire timeline and mindmap and everything (this is where the whiteboard would be helpful, but I already use milanote and now I'm throwing freeform into the mix and I think both are very good for mindmapping) so I had a look at some of that today, and I also wrote a new like very first couple of pages, like just over 1000 words that I'm pleased with but also, if I go through with them, do mean massive restructuring of mc's backstory but hey, maybe that's what she needs, I'm very much letting it carry me wherever it wants to go and having an experiment.

I also had an exam and did about 4 hours of studying today so I think this will be all for now, but still pleased ☺️

Questions always welcome! (process/ premise/ world/ characters/ industry/ pretty much anything I guess)

[whoneedsapublisher]

Alchemy

For the last day of @nasuversepromptweeks's Nasuverse Femslash Week, we have a free space prompt, so I wrote some more Kohaku x Akiha.

Words: ~1000

Summary: A doll is a lifeless object. You can't make it a person anymore than you can make a toaster into a person.

Also on Ao3

************************

Shiki had a date today.

Akiha had been in a foul mood every since she’d found out, but, Kohaku noted, she hadn’t actually tried to stop Shiki from going. She had been even more frosty than usual at breakfast, despite Shiki getting up at a proper time for once. Or maybe because of that. Surely Akiha couldn’t be happy that it was because of another girl that Shiki’s sleeping habits were finally improving.

Kohaku was sweeping out front when he left the house.

“Goodbye, Shiki!” she called cheerfully.

Shiki waved to her, and then paused, snapping his fingers.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” he said, digging around in his pocket.

He pulled out a white ribbon. A white ribbon that was very familiar.

“Here,” he said, pressing it into Kohaku’s hands. “Sorry, it took me a little while to remember, but I’m returning this. Alright, I’ll see you tonight!”

And with that, he was gone. Leaving Kohaku staring, dumbfounded, at the ribbon in her hands.

It was like her whole world had come grinding to a halt. How did he know? How much did he know? He hadn’t started acting any differently. He hadn’t said anything. And then, out of nowhere, he’d returned the ribbon. And to her, not to Hisui.

…She’d lost her bet. Somehow, impossibly, he’d realized that she was quiet girl at the window.

Which meant that everything was over.

It had already been a longshot. With SHIKI dead, it would have been difficult to kill Akiha. But far from impossible. She’d been plotting quietly. Moving pieces. And now the entire board had been kicked over.

She felt her knees give out as she collapsed gently onto the stones of the courtyard, staring up at the sky.

She felt… numb. Which wasn’t unexpected. Why would she feel anything else? She was a doll. A doll couldn’t feel disappointed, or angry. She operated by certain conditions that made her keep moving. But the failsafe had been activated. The strings that controlled her were cut.

But something was wrong. She should have started to shut down at that point. Should have stopped thinking anything. Her plan was over. Her plan was all she had. There was nothing left for her but to die. But beneath the numbness, she could feel something. A feeling she shouldn’t have. Something un-doll-like, pushing against the sheet of numb blankness she’d pulled across herself.

She tried to repress it. To shove it back down. But it kept returning.

The doors burst open behind her.

“Kohaku? What’s wrong?”

She couldn’t turn her head. Her body wouldn’t move. A puppet couldn’t move without strings. But she recognized Akiha’s voice all the same.

“...He figured it out,” Kohaku said, as Akiha’s face filled her vision as she looked down, at Kohaku, concerned.. “I promised myself. I’d stop all this if he figured it out. My revenge…”

Akiha’s face stiffened. But she didn’t look surprised. How long had she known? How much did she know? Had Kohaku been overestimating herself this whole time? How much of her plans had been found out, after all? Shiki and Akiha both knew things they shouldn’t. Did Hisui, too? Did they all know what she had been planning? Did they all know what she was?

Well, what did it matter to her now?

An empty smile crossed her face.

“...It’s all over now, anyway… this is the end…”

And then that un-doll-like emotion pushed against the stillness in her heart again. Harder. Harder. So much that Kohaku’s breath hitched. It hurt. It hurt. A doll shouldn’t feel this. A doll couldn’t feel this.

A doll couldn’t be relieved. Relieved that her revenge was ruined. Relieved that Akiha would live. Relieved that she could stop plotting against her.

A doll shouldn’t feel those things.

She lifted her hands to her head, as if she could physically push the thoughts back in, and then stared at her own arms in horror.

A doll’s body shouldn’t move without a goal. Without something to drive it.

“It’s not the end,” Akiha said.

Kohaku looked blankly at her.

“...I can never give back what you’ve had taken from you by the Tohno family,” Akiha said. “I can never undo the evil this family has done to you. That was why… why I didn’t care what you did to me. I… we… deserved it. But no matter what happens to me, I won’t let it end here. I can at least give you more of a life than that.”

“I tried to get you killed,” Kohaku said. “I succeeded at killing SHIKI.”

“Even still.”

Kohaku’s hands were trembling. Jittering like her strings were being shaken wildly.

“I’m just a doll. There’s no point in trying to give me life.”

Akiha’s face hardened. “That,” she said. “I will never accept.”

“What?”

“Makihisa Tohno did not abuse a doll,” Akiha said, her voice fierce. “The crimes and evil he committed were against a human. I won’t let his acts be brushed aside as only damaging a doll. And I will never let him take your humanity from you along with everything else he stole. Even if I have to drag him out of Hell and steal it back from him with these eyes.”

Kohaku slumped, burying her face in her hands. “I have to be a doll,” she said. “It’s too painful to be a human.”

“Then as punishment for trying to kill me, I order you to experience that pain,” Akiha said.

Kohaku’s doll joints were softening. Tubes painfully turned to veins once more. Blood flowed through a heart that started beat again.

“You’re horribly cruel, Lady Akiha,” she managed.

“Isn’t that how the Tohnos have always been?” Akiha said. “As penance, I’ll do all I can to ease your pain. I’ll stay by your side until you can smile again.”

Kohaku felt Akiha’s arms around her. Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time.

She sobbed. Being a human was painful.

What a terrible curse that Akiha Tohno had put on her.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Interview with Jess Mahler, Part 1

Today's interview is with Jess Mahler, writer of serialized queer SFF fiction! You can find them and their work at the following:

Substack: https://jessmahler.substack.com/

Webserial catalog: https://jessmahler.com/webserial-catalog/

Author page: https://books2read.com/ap/nAEEOn/Jess-Mahler

A pre-sale for upcoming release: https://www.smashwords.com/books/presale/1154035/DJNG3G

Part One can be found under the cut, Part Two will be posted tomorrow!

You write serial queer SFF fiction. Why does that kind of fiction interest you, and how did you get started in it? Did you know Dickens – Charles Dickens, 'A Christmas Carol' Dickens, why the fuck are you making me read this hundred-year-old 'Classic' Dickens, wrote his books as serials? Serials fell out of fashion when novels became affordable. For a time, they were replaced by newspaper comics. The old comics like Prince Valient and the Phantom are some of the last survivors of the time when most long-form fiction was newspaper serials. When I started planning this 3 years ago, almost no one had heard of serials. You sometimes saw serials on Amazon where each chapter was published as a 99c ebook, and there was Tales of MU and other free fiction folks had shared for ages. But incredibly niche and nothing subscription based.

A few years ago, I had several problems:

I was struggling with long-form fiction – I kept having ideas for short stories that spawned sequels, so I tried to just write novels, and that… didn't go horribly but didn't work well either.

I had accepted that I was shit at marketing and needed to do something different if I wanted people to hear about my writing.

I needed a new blog topic.

I cannot work on one story at a time. I need at least two stories to bounce between. And after 3 months of focusing on a storyline, I need to take a break.

A friend and I were talking the mess over one day when something in the convo reminded me that Dickens' stuff was all first written as newspaper serials. One thing became another, and I launched Jess Mahler's Serials on January 1, 2021. Amazon announced its subscription serial service, Kindle Vella, a few months later, and I still say they stole my idea. wink

Why did you decide to focus on queer SFF?

Why queer fiction? Because I'm queer, and I like to queer shit. I never actually set out to write queer fiction. I originally described the serials only as SFF. But at one point, I realized that while most of the stories are SFF (there are two exceptions so far), all of them are queer.

As for why SFF – well, there's the fun reason and the practical reason. The fun reason is that I grew up burying myself in myths and legends and folk tales. Then in 7th grade, we read The Littlest Dragon Boy in English class. I asked my teacher where I could find more like it – I never looked back.

The practical reason is that I'm not that good at research. I tried doing a historical fiction story once and gave up a month in after realizing I'd never be able to get the setting accurate enough to suit me. I reworked it as a 'lost colony' sci-fi bit. It was one of the first serials I wrote, and it's on Smash and Amazon now as Bound by His Oath.

Me+worldbuilding? Amazing stuff happens Me+research? Sad face So I play to my strengths.

How do you go about planning a serialized work of fiction? What helps keep you on track with a regular schedule of updates? 

Once I decided to go with serials, I wanted to have a firm word count goal for each episode. I aim for 1000-2000 words, which I figured is a good length for reading on a lunch break or waiting for the bus. I have several friends who are often frustrated with not being able to read because of a lack of time or trouble focusing. So keeping it short seemed like a good way to make the stories accessible.

Because of my own attention span, I decided to break stories down into 'seasons' of about 3 months long. ~1500 word episodes, for 12-14 episodes gave me a rough goal for each season. Two episodes a week, because most of the time I can write 3-5000 words a week, which meant (I figured) that I could write, edit and post 2-4000 words a week without too much trouble.

Some stories, like How NOT to Save the World or Planting Life in a Dying City, I have an idea for a full novel-type storyline. I'll sketch out the overarching plot and break it into sections and subplots that will work for season-length story arcs. Other stories, like Mighty Hero Force Epsilon or Last Lady of Lună, I have an idea for the characters. "What if this happened to these people?" I try to at least have a general idea for how a season will end.

I knew I wanted the first season of L3 to end with Nastasia and her sotii having a solid start to their new relationship. But I swear Epsilon's season 1 ending surprised me as much as any of my readers. I use a spreadsheet to track what's written, what needs to be edited, what's scheduled, when I expect to finish a season, so on and so forth.

On an episode level, I've learned not to plan too far ahead of my writing. What I expect to be 13 episodes always ends up being 12 episodes, or 14. But for stories and seasons, I've got a rough schedule worked out through the end of 2024. And a list of 7 stories waiting to join rotation after that.

Sadly, because of my health problems, I do tend to miss updates. This year I've missed about 8 updates, which works out to less than one a month on average. That wouldn't bother me, except they tend to come in chunks – when I'm healthy I try to write enough to create a buffer. Then I use up the buffer a bit at a time until it runs out. I have a 'snippet month' in September/October where I share story ideas and mini-fics. It gives me time to catch up or rebuild the buffer, but so far I've been running out of buffer around July. Which means there are often several misses over July and August. 

How do you approach writing a second season of a serial story? Is that something you plan from the beginning, or do you figure out you want more to the story as it goes along? 

I guess I got ahead of myself in question 2. ;-) But regardless of if I have a full story planned or not, I do have a feel for how many seasons a story will run. Epsilon has to be at least three seasons. The first had to introduce the characters and the world, the second will… well, I won't spoiler, but fix the mess the characters find themselves in, and the third will either resolve or extend the story. One is written, I have a very general idea of how two will go, and three… well, there will be a season three. Past that? There be dragons. (Figuratively, in this case.) Other stories I know will only be a single season – or even a mini-season. First Came Trust, I knew going in wouldn't be more than 8-10 episodes. It actually ended up shorter than that! It's something like an odd meet-cute. Sort of. You don't get a long story out of two people meeting and deciding to take a chance on each other. No matter how unconventional the meeting. (If you want a break from Christmas-everything, First Came Trust is out in ebook on Dec 21.) 

 If someone wanted to get into serial fiction, what advice would you give them? 

Well, definitely stay off of Vella. Amazon is evil, but beyond that – if you go through Vella you give Amazon control of your writing and audience. Don't give evil people control of you or your career. You need to know yourself as a writer – how fast do you write, how often, and how quickly do you edit? It does no good to commit to writing three episodes a week if you can't reliably write more than one. Think about what audience you are writing for. I know, I know, trite advice. But here, we're coming from a different direction. Remember what I said before about how I know folks who don't have time to read, so I stuck with short episodes? I went with a newsletter format for the same reason. Quick and easy reads in your inbox. I went with multiple stories running concurrently so new readers would always have a story they could jump into without a huge backlog. What are the reading habits of your audience? Do they want to curl up with a long chapter each week? Do you think they care how consistently you update? (Long-term fanfic readers won't care about consistency, mainstream readers probably will.) Will they prefer to read on a website? Email? App? "Fast, Good, and Cheap, pick two" is the business maxim. I think the serial equivalent is "Frequent, Good, and Word Count." You can post good stories frequently. You can post high word counts frequently. You can write good stories with a high word count per episode. But posting good, high-word-count episodes frequently? Not so much. Put your writing habits and audience together, and pick two. I picked frequent (twice a week) and good. I know of folks doing serials that only post once a month, but when they post, it's a lot at once. You can do whatever works for you – but unless you are a full-time writer, you can't do all three. 

Can you tell us more about some of your favorite stories you've written, and why you decided to write them? 

Oh geez, I have to pick? Tell you what, let's talk about the 2023 schedule instead of making me pick between my babies. I've got 4 stories I'll be posting in 2023. The Bargain and Planting Life in a Dying City are two of my older stories. I started them both as novels and actually published the Bargain. (Please don't buy the ebook, it wasn't properly edited, and I'm embarrassed. The publisher is supposed to pull it soon.) The Bargain – so, I'm aro-ace, though I didn't even know the words when I started writing this one. I'm also kinky. The Bargain began as me writing the kind of kink story I wanted to read. It's got heavy queer platonic/chosen family vibes and focuses on the bond between people in a power exchange relationship. With fae, magic, a bit of court intrigue, self-discovery, and a few other things. Planting Life is a world-building project that spawned a story. Hopefully several stories. The original idea was 'how would tech and society have developed if magic existed as a kind of natural force.' So, of course, I had to define my magic, build my world, etc. Planting Life is set in a Bronze age society before anyone has learned to control magic. In fact, magic barely exists in the story. Instead, the story is about a group of traumatized individuals creating a new family and a new start in a stagnating society. But there will be spin-offs and sequels. The next story will focus on an Archimedes-like character who is one of the first to begin understanding and harnessing magic. Last Lady of Lună is my newest story and grew out of my finally understanding and accepting that I am aromantic. I just don't understand WTF romance is and that comes out in my writing. See, I write a lot of love stories, but while they meet the technical criteria for romance stories (stories about love and relationships with an HFN or HEA ending), they don't register as romance with a lot of people. So… I challenged myself. I love romance stories, especially paranormal romance stories. Last Lady of Luna is me making a conscious effort to write a why choose romance story. It's about a vampire and the humans who agree to be her companions, food, protectors, and (eventually) lovers. Slow burn, but I'm told that so far I'm nailing the burn. Mighty Hero Force Epsilon started as a dream. Literally. There's this one scene, about halfway through the first season, where the Big Bad's lieutenant– anyway, yeah. So I dreamed that scene. And when you read the scene, you'll understand why I had to figure out what happened after. Which meant I had to figure out what came before. Which is how we got here. Folks familiar with the genre will recognize it as a sentai story (think Power Rangers if you aren't familiar with anime). 

When it comes to writing serial fiction, finding a place to host it can be a challenge. Why did you decide on using Substack, and what advice can you give others who want to check out that platform for themselves? 

I went with Substack because it's a good newsletter platform. It doesn't make me pay to have a subscription set up when I have less than 50 subscribers and allows 'adult content'. I'm looking at alternatives because the navigation is a pain. (New readers should start on the website to get caught up.) And I'm hearing things about the folks running it being transphobic. Turns out my web host, Dreamhost, has built-in newsletter functionality now. So that's a thing I'm looking at. But yeah, finding hosting can be a challenge, which is why I'm still here. Just… try not to stress the stats. I've had days where Substack told me I had 0 views, 1 like, and 1 comment. I've had it tell me that I had a like from a subscriber who supposedly has never opened a single email. You should never take numbers (other than number of subscribers) too seriously if you can help it – you never know how they're calculated. But extra don't take Substack numbers seriously. 

Part 2 to follow!

[epersonae]

Tagged by @adickaboutspoons - thank you!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3

First fic - A week at a day spa, which is the first fic I ever wrote, and the first time I'd written any fiction in years. It was a bit of an experiment, right before I became completely obsessed with my rarepair. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. I'd be tempted to take another run at that moment from another direction after everything else I've written.

Last fic - end up several worlds away, the missing scenes companion to for the benefit of all the broken hearts. I just added a chapter with Stede seeing Mary's art for the first time. At the moment, this is my only active WIP; I have a partially written chapter in GDocs that I might work on again soon.

Only fic for a fandom/ship - The dead and the living, my one and only Star Trek (TOS movies) fic. During my time between TAZ and OFMD, I got into a Star Trek Slack and we have done watch parties for a bunch of the movies. somewhere in my head/gdocs I have the start of a long heavy fic about Khan's wife, but this little piece just kind of popped into my head after we watched Star Trek III. I love Carol Marcus a lot.

Favorite fic in the fandom with the most works - Did I really write one hundred and fifty fics for The Adventure Zone????? I sure did. Obviously I have to pick The Reckoning Arrives, which is my longest fic in any fandom, the fic that Ryn and I worked so hard on, the fic that kinda saved my life. But also I was poking through some of my other TAZ fic, and there's actually quite a few of them I still love, but The Woman Who Wasn't There is a fave as far as fics that aren't in my larger continuity. (readers of for the benefit of all the broken hearts will notice a theme about bringing the wife back into the story, which I hadn't really considered until today.)

Fic I wish more people read - another one I found while poking through old TAZ fics: Don't forget to remember. NGL, it's kinda fucked up, but at least it's short? But it's just a tight little story about coping and trauma and memory, and honestly it gave me an outlet at a time when I really needed it. Of my Our Flag Means Death fics: probably the whole devil's threeway series, which is about to be completely decanonized and I'm totally okay with that. I still think I got a vibe that I'm really pleased with and it ended up being the only reunion that I've written, which I think is genuinely funny.

Fic I agonized over the most - for the benefit of all the broken hearts, which I agonized over in so many ways. both in terms of WHAT AM I EVEN WRITING HERE and in the actual work of writing (and the bonkers choice to not name the protagonist in the text), and then in the actual work of editing. I put the most effort into this of literally anything I've ever written in any medium for any purpose.

Fic that sprang fully formed - nice either way, aka the beard fic, which I wrote over the course of a single afternoon driving along the Columbia River Scenic Highway (that was a weird week). Although to be honest, I would say almost any fic less than 1000 words is likely to have sprung fully formed, especially a lot of my earlier TAZ works when I was kind of continuously writing. (Again: 150 works)

A work I'm proud of - it really does have to be for the benefit of all the broken hearts, I worked my ass off on that one and it occupied my whole brain for several months. It was a wild thing to attempt to do, both as a story and as a technical challenge, and I'm so pleased with how it turned out.

Tagging (as always, no pressure but have fun with it!) - @naranjapetrificada, @nekosd43, @gaypiratebrainrot, @mxmollusca, @oatmilktruther, @emi--rose

[momoiiiyume]

1000 Days with You

Today, on July 10th 2024 is my 1000th day I spent yume-ing with Limbo. It's crazy to think it's gotten this long, but I'm very glad it's happened! So, to celebrate, I wrote out five shorts with various limri aus. There are some that I hadn't made public and some I hadn't made in a long time, but I love every one of them. Here are there fics and here's to forever with limri!

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°

to encourage

royalty au (arranged marriage: prince x princess) wc: 397

It’s not the first time she’s made a public speech addressing her citizens. But for some reason, the moment she woke up, the nerves in her body had gone haywire. Of course, to the outside, Queen Risa appeared normal and calm. She’d woken up, got ready, ate her breakfast and was dressed in her most formal dress. 

Now, about 34 minutes until her formal address, the anxiety had heightened to the max. She’s not entirely sure she’s ready for it. It would be an outrage if she just ran and escaped this, where no one could find her. Her hands were clammy under her white satin gloves, and the royal paper in her hand would probably slip out of them. 

As much as her father, the previous ruler of Hamal, was strict and overbearing at times, she admits he helped her on one or more occasions when she was just the Crown Princess. But now he’s not here anymore; he laid waste six feet under after he was assassinated for his war crimes. She would be on her ow–

“Are you ready, Your Majesty?” The kind voice spoke behind as someone approached her, taking her out of spiralling thoughts. Risa swallowed saliva and turned around to find King Limbo Fitzgerald beside her with his signature cool smile. Suddenly, she felt almost better, but the anxiety in her heart still beats her.

She peered down to the ground and wondered if she should come clean to him about her worries. They’d been married for two years. Limbo always knew what to say to make her happy, but she feared it would burden him too much.

“Um, sort of… I just…” The words on her tongue were lost; there was no way to explain them without crying. But before tears could fall, Limbo approached her and held her face, carefully trying not to ruin her makeup. “Don’t worry, Risa. You’ll be fine. If it’s too much for you, you can squeeze my hand. I’ll be right beside you.” Her mouth opened, and her eyes became wet because how dare this man make her cry. Damn her makeup, she’ll just fix it later. “Limbo…” She muttered, sniffling. The man smiled and kissed her to boost her confidence. “I’m with you always, Risa.”

She nodded, and the butterflies in her stomach flew calmly.  “Thank you, Limbo… I love you so much.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

on the cheek

hybrid au (human x bunny hybrid) wc: 426

“Is there anything you want at the market, Risa?” Limbo asks as they stroll along a special street market that had opened a few days ago. The bunny hybrid surveys the various stalls and booths, wondering what to eat. Everything looked so good.

Risa had just gotten out of her heat period and now felt like her usual self. After a heat, hybrids need to eat to get their energy back. So, Limbo took her to this market as a treat. In hindsight, he’s still wary about taking her out of the penthouse because there were still people after her, but he had security all over the place, so it should be okay for her. Plus, she’s been cooped up inside for too long and needs fresh air. 

“Mmm, I’d like a sandwich!” She points to a stall nearby that serves sub-style sandwiches. He looks over and smiles. “Good choice. I’ll get a sandwich as well.” 

The two ordered their sandwiches; Risa got a vegetarian one, while Limbo got a mix of everything. Risa was always astonished at how much Limbo ate. She’d love to try what he got but could only eat non-meat items due to her diet. While sitting on a bench as they ate, Risa quietly ate her sandwich, but her eyes were kept on him the entire time. She wasn’t really jealous. No.

“Hm?” Limbo felt her eyes on him and looked at her. “Are you–Oh.” His lips curve into a smile, which only further confuses Risa. “What’s wrong?” She inquires, worried. That smile of his only smelt like trouble. “Hold still, bunny.” He says before he leans down towards her. And she felt something wet touch her cheek. Her ears rose in surprise, and her hand immediately went on her face to feel the wet thing after Limbo pulled away. “Limbo?!” She gasped, stunned as she saw him laugh. “What did you do?” 

“You had something on your cheek, so I cleaned it off for you.” He explained it so casually that he went back and took a bite of his sandwich; his smile remained. She looked at him curiously but couldn’t help but grumble at him. He always was forward with her, but she didn’t mind it one bit. If she thought about it, it felt more like a kiss than something to wipe off. He could’ve just used a napkin, but he went and used his lips; she felt his tongue too…

They’d never kissed before, but she always did wonder what that would feel like.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

on the neck

modern fantasy (vampire prince x human nun) wc: 642 words

Risa ambles down the stairs as Limbo’s familiar cat, Max, leads her into his secret base. It’d been a month since she’d seen her vampire boyfriend, and that was because of one thing: hibernation. He’d been heavily injured after that sudden attack from the villagers, so he’s been recuperating for the month. Risa had no idea why he was attacked like that or how. She always thought he was indestructible. Did someone have a stake or something, but he managed to get away before the final blow? Risa shuddered to even think about it. She’d hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Max brings her to one final door, and she gulps. She felt a bit nervous about seeing him, but she really had no reason to feel such things. That was her boyfriend on the other side of the door. Nothing’s changed. With one final mental push, she opens the door and sees a coffin in the middle of a dark room, only lit by two torches on the wall. 

She walks in, approaches the coffin, and pushes off the wooden cover. It lands on the other side of the coffin, with dust flying off it. Risa coughs as a result, but her eyes see Limbo’s sleeping form inside. Upon inspection, he was very much recovered and at his normal self. There was not a scratch or cut on his perfect pale skin. But he was still unconscious. Max told her it was time he woke up.

“Meow!” Max purrs, rubbing against her legs. “Meow!!” 

“What?! I have to do that?!” Risa exclaims, her eyes pop in surprise, grumbling at Max’s instructions. Despite being unable to speak, Risa had no problem understanding him. Perhaps Limbo had something to do with it. “You can’t be serious, Ma—”

“Meow~”

The nun stared at the cat briefly and then at Limbo. Her eyes went back to Max. “Fine. I’m only doing this because I miss him and want to talk with him again. This is really embarrassing, Max.” The cat only trills, licking its paw. She went up to him with her heart beating against her chest. She swallowed spit before lowering himself and placing her lips on his neck, giving him a small kiss. 

She pulled away to see if anything happened. No reaction from him. “Do I have to go again?” She looked at Max again, but he was already out the door. Huh? Did he not care for his master? Risa turned towards Limbo, murmuring to herself, before going to his neck, pressing her lips firmly on it. However, she didn’t expect hands to grab at her and pull her into the coffin; she shrieked in the process, and it felt like her heart fell. 

“Limbo!!” She shouts, embarrassed, seeing her boyfriend awake and laughing. Her face couldn’t be more red. “Limbo…” 

He smirked, staring at her with mischievous eyes. “I didn’t think you’d do such a thing, especially when I’m unconscious, Risa. If I didn’t know better, I’d think a hunter is attacking me.” He pushed her closer to him, kissing her cheek before going down her neck. “I-I wasn’t… Max told me to do this to wake you up…!” She explains, trying not to succumb to his kisses. “Max?” He echoes. “You didn’t have to do that. I just wake up naturally. But it’s cute of you to do that.” He kissed her again.

Risa wanted to get off him, but he was way stronger and sturdier than her, keeping her in place. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him….” She grumbled under her breath and then let out a deep sigh. Limbo sat up with Risa on his lap. “Regardless, thank you for waking me up. I’m glad the first thing I saw was you.” He says in a low tone, wrapping arms around her in an embrace.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

out of anger

university au (fratboy x nerdgirl) wc: 481

When she sees him in her special corner of the library, her eyes narrow and glower, she clutches the books in her arms, making her knuckles white. She had asked him not to see her for the rest of the day, but he wasn’t listening.

Hot on her heels, Risa storms towards him, wanting to give him a piece of her mind. “Excuse me, Limbo.” She says with a bite, and that got his attention, but he wasn’t really affected by her demeanour. “Ah, the nerd is here. Finally.” He gives her his signature annoying smile.

“I thought I told you that you couldn’t see me. What part of that didn’t you understand?” Risa asks, her foot stomping in place. “Oh, I understood you, but I’m ignoring it. I want to see you and knew you’d be here.” He walks towards her, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. She hates being so short compared to him, but at the same time, she’s strangely into it. “I know how much this place meant to you.” He whispers when he leant down, kissing the shell of her ear. 

Her body shakes with irritation as it also heats up within her; he really does whatever he wants. Well, she can, too.  She drops her books on the ground and grabs Limbo’s face, who is stunned to react. He watches her move his face closer to her and slots her soft, glossy lips on his, heated and aggressive. 

A second later, he smirked and pushed her onto the shelf behind her, getting the upper hand. The kiss breaks, making her gasp from the position change. “Li-Limbo?!” She manages to get out before he gets back in and kisses the life out of her, her hands clung onto his back, trying not to fall on weak knees. 

With lips smacking against each other, they couldn’t tear themselves away from each other, wanting to be so close they could mould into one being. Risa moans against his mouth when he slips a tongue inside her mouth and slides it against hers. 

Risa can feel his hardened length against her leg, and that gets her to pull away from him. All she sees from him when he peers at her with lustrous eyes is a shit-eating grin plastered on his perfect face. “I’m guessing you’re not mad at me anymore?”

The girl closes her eyes and sighs. “I’d just prefer a cancellation text when you can’t make a date, Limbo. I was pretty hurt when you chose basketball over me.” She pouts, her eyes well with pretty crystal tears. He can’t help but find her cute. “Jealous over basketball? How adorable, don’t worry. It’s you or nothing, Mendoza. You make me crazy.” He kissed her forehead and held her tight. 

Risa sighed in relaxation as she rested her head on his arms, feeling very safe with him.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

in secret

farm au (new hire x farmer's daughter) wc: 369

She should be fast asleep right now, but Risa found herself outside the house, sneaking through the farm and avoiding sleeping animals. She thought this was ridiculous, but this was the only time she and Limbo could meet. 

Limbo had gone out first so they wouldn’t rouse suspicions from her family, who were asleep. It was good her brothers weren’t here because if they were, they would bully her (and Limbo) to no end. She’d never hear the end of their relentless teasing and protectiveness. It was a sore.

Treading on the grass finally, she reached the swing at the back of her house, which thankfully didn’t have her parents’ bedroom window facing this way. She can see Limbo sitting on the swing, waiting for her with a smile on his face. “You’re here.” He says when she reaches her. 

“I am.” She replies, sitting beside him. “Sorry, I finally managed to get my parents to sleep after I did the chores.” She sighs, leaning against his shoulder. “I’m tired.” She says softly. It’s too bad for them they had to hide their relationship. As Limbo worked for her farm, she was technically his boss, but they met on a one-night stand and found out he’d be working here the next day.

The two were shocked but eventually found solace and love in each other and ended up dating secretly. Her father was overprotective and forbade his daughter from any romance. It wouldn’t help them if he knew she was dating their hire, so they kept it a secret.

“Hey, Limbo…” Risa cuts through the silent night; the swing swings slowly, caused by Limbo. “Hm?” 

“Kiss me.” 

He laughs, “Sure, but where did that come from?” 

“You know, it’s been days since we’ve hung out. Things have been busy lately. I miss you.” 

Limbo laughs again, bringing her close. “I miss you too. Yeah, things were busy, but it’s slowed down, and now we can be like this. Come here.” He pulls her onto his lap and kisses her softly, feeling Risa’s relaxed breath against his lips. They wish they could be open with their relationship, but for now, they can only be like this where no one knows.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

END.

[rise-my-angel]

i need you to know that whenever you're going "oh no ive written so much" i am cheering because ur writing absolutely FEEDS me from one day to the next, im actually trying to stop reading each chapter the night it comes out and ration it so i have something to get me through the rest of the week

I'm always going to feel bad, I write so much. Like what other fic writer on here writes as many words in each oneshot or chapter that I do? I just dump so much on you all and hope you don't lose interest (I still fail at that since people absolutely lose interest every new update dont you worry).

Like I have such a specific schedule, and even a word count minimum. I have to hit at least 5k each day, and the only days I allow myself to write less then that is if I have to write the final scene of the chapter and it comes up short.

Mondays and Tuesdays are always my big editing days, I comb through my work and change a bunch and sometimes add another 1000 word scene because I have self control issues. But the bulk of my main writing, meaning the meat of the chapter, is usually written Tuesday or Wednesday through Friday, and the weekend is half the first draft edit of that, and the other half is the final editing of the newest chapter to post. But sometimes like today, and I think last week too, I sat down and wrote like almost 8k in one single sitting alone.

And I expect people to read that? I feel so bad constantly posting such long works, it feels like I'm giving you all a chore. Theres a reason most fic writers on here don't put out weekly content in the obscene word count lengths I do.

People see my word counts and turn tail and RUN.

[junkratsloverat]

love notes

*mark voice* ...hi. it's me. i'm not dead!

apparently my queue ran dry a while back and i didn't notice lol. but i'm still around, trying to be more active when i can c:

and! today's my birthday! so i wrote a rhys thing. he's been bouncing around in my head a lot lately, and i kinda needed a pick-me-up, so here he is :D ♥

length: 5366 characters ; 1000 words

warnings: none, pure fluff! ♡

Hannah rubbed her eyes and stretched. Feeling the empty bed next to her wasn’t that out of the ordinary, especially if he had somewhere he needed to be, but… this was different. She sat up to reach for her glasses, which were.. also gone. Nothing else on her nightstand had been touched, but in the spot where her glasses usually were lay a small pink sticky note.

Good morning, baby! I know it’s hard to see where this is going, but trust me, it’ll be worth it~

There were hearts drawn along the sides, with two small stick figures holding hands at the bottom. There was a second one underneath, which seemed like it’d been written a bit faster, and with a lot less art this time.

The next note’s in the bathroom. Couldn’t come up with a cute hint. :/

Hannah giggled, carrying both notes with her to their shared bathroom. Another doodle-covered note had been stuck to the light switch — You light up my life, angel.

There were two outfits picked out for her, the super comfy pajamas Rhys got for Christmas a few years ago were folded on the sink, and a more formal number had been hung up nearby. Two more notes were stuck to mirror:

Get ready and pick what kind of day we’ll have. We can stay in and be cozy, or go out and do whatever you want~

Hannah was almost too eager to go for the pj’s and comfy day in, she nearly missed the second note. It was up higher, closer to Rhys’s eye-level. I wish you could see yourself like I do, written in larger letters at the top, with a bunch of adjectives across the bottom. Soft (but strong). Funny. Kind. Beautiful…

Hannah bit her cheek, trying to hold back the wave of emotion rolling over her. She couldn’t cry on her birthday — not this early, at least.

As her morning routine continued, she kept finding more notes; most were hints about what to do next, but a handful of them were positive reminders. The same kind she used to leave for him back on Helios, when she’d been too shy to tell him how she felt.

The last one was stuck to one of their wedding pictures in the living room. Most of them had been formally taken, but this was one of the few candid ones Rhys had hung up. At the last second, Hannah had decided to smear his face with cake instead of feeding it to him, and Lor had gotten a picture of the second Rhys realized what happened. He had frozen in place, still holding his empty fork, staring at her. Hannah had her hand in front of her mouth to try and hide her laugh, her palm covered in frosting making it impossible to deny her guilt.

Thank you for 7 years of surprises. Hopefully you’ll like yours, too. Happy birthday, baby! All my love, Rhys

She giggled as she took the last note down. “Is the surprise my glasses?”

Looking around the living room, nothing looked out of place.. just a lot fuzzier than normal.

A small thud from the kitchen made her jump. As she got closer and the room became less blurry, she could make out breakfast made for two with her glasses sitting nearby, and a slightly distraught Rhys knelt down behind the island.

“C’mon, just… stay in the box,” he whispered. “Riiiiight.. there!”

Hannah snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder, making him jump and quickly turn around. He was wearing the matching pajamas with an Atlas apron on top. There were small patches of flower in a few places, almost matching the one on his cheek. “Did you have to scare me like that? Geez..”

“S-sorry! Sorry, I just.. I was gonna thank you for these.” She held up the stack of sticky notes, and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. “You know I’m keeping all of them, right?”

He grinned, picking up her glasses and easing them onto her face. “You liked those?”

“’Course I do — they’re from you.” She smiled, nuzzling against his hand as he cupped her face. “So.. who were you talking to?”

“Your present! Well, one of your presents. But it’s the biggest one!” The box behind him seemed to move in protest, one corner now peeking out from behind him. “And, uh, apparently the most eager..”

“Maybe we should open it first, then?”

“Mmmh.. close your eyes first. It doesn’t really have a top, and I don’t want you peeking, so…”

Hannah nodded, closing her eyes and holding out her arms. “This ok?”

Rhys kissed her forehead. “Perfect. Just hold still.. and be careful.”

The box weighed more than she’d thought, but she didn’t flinch. Hesitantly, she opened one eye, then the other. A small white bundle of fluff stared up at her, its head slightly tilted, but it seemed to be smiling.

“Wh.. did you-”

“Woof!” The puppy decided to answer for itself, and hopped up to lick her cheek.

Hannah giggled, setting the box down and picking up the puppy itself. It looked like a cloud, except for the Atlas-red bow around its neck. “Hey, buddy. Where’d you come from, huh?”

“I promised I’d get you another one when you were ready, remember?” Rhys kissed the top of her head, one hand tracing small shapes across her back. “…aaaand I couldn’t say no to that face. She’s just so cute! Aren’t you?” He giggled, gently scratching behind the puppy’s ears. “Yes you are~”

Hannah nuzzled against the puppy’s fur, shedding a few of the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning. “Thank you, Rhys.” She smiled up at him, trying to wipe them away with the back of her hand. “Like I’ve barely been awake for an hour, and this is already one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.”

Rhys grinned, pulling her in for a kiss. “And it’s just getting started~”

[wheredoiputthis]

The letter I needed to write...

I spoke to my therapist about you today. You’ve been in my dreams a few Sundays in a row and you slip in to them as easily as I slip in to my back to work anxiety. Just like in real life - you never do anything particularly interesting in my dreams: there’s no big argument, no confrontation, no dramatic scene. You are just there. Disapproving and spoiling my evening. Often, when you venture into my dreams, I try to make amends, or try to speak to you about how our friendship ended. But mostly I’m just filled with anxiety and whisper frantically to the person closest to me at the dinner table simply informing them of your presence.

Potentially, my subconscious brain is linking my anxiety to you. Plain old you. I think you made me feel anxious. You made me doubt my decisions, thoughts, feelings, intelligence, kindness. You pushed me to the edge of friendship in your strange ways. You always held the moral high ground and I always let you. I let you be mean to me, and rude. That was until I didn’t anymore. Then we simply never spoke again, and you disappeared.

The funny thing about how our relationship ended is that it had nothing to do with how you treated me. It was just that by sleeping with a mutual best friend’s (very recent) ex, I could clearly see how truly self-centered and unaware you really were of the hurt that you caused those around you. Our friendship was death by 1000 papercuts. However, it only truly ended because something else caught fire and our friendship went up in the blaze. I bet you still think you weren’t the one to blame.

You appeared to be the victim in all aspects of life. You made yourself out to be fragile, targeted and vulnerable. I think you truly believed this about yourself. I definitely did for a very long time. There’s no denying that you had your own issues. I am starting to think that maybe you exacerbated mine. I put myself in the firing line of your snippy, cruel and hurtful comments. Comments that were never harsh enough to be able to tell you off about. I never stood up for myself because I was worried about hurting your feelings, or because that’s ‘just the way you are’. I did so much damage to myself by allowing you to be so degrading to me, about me, about my partner. I took your word for almost everything and I didn’t doubt your friendship. I can see very clearly now how wrong I was. I think I knew all along.

I never wrote this letter because I didn’t want to be mean to you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Now I can see this isn’t about hurting your feelings. It is about defending mine. You got away with being really cutting, demanding and selfish to people who cared about you and tried to help you. I hope you’ve changed. I hope you still aren’t treating people in the same way you treated me for nearly 10 years of friendship.

The wounds that you inflicted in me healed and those scars formed around my identity and my core beliefs about myself. You have had such a huge impact on my life and I resent that so much.

Please stay out of my dreams. I pandered to you in life. It has been ten years. I won’t pander to the memories of you anymore.

[automatismoateo]

My muslim friend asked me why don't I believe anymore. I wrote this. via /r/atheism

My muslim friend asked me why don't I believe anymore. I wrote this.

All religious books were written by men thousands of years ago. Yet we are expected to take what they have written as “sacred” or “word by God” by nothing more than faith, and a long chain of Chinese whispers. If you were born in ancient Egypt 4000 years ago you'd pray to Osiris and Ra, if you were born in India you'd pray to ganesh and Hanuman, if you were born 1000 years ago in scandanavia you'd pray to Odin and Zeus, if you were born in America today you'd more than likely be praying to jesus. Throughout history religions rise and fall, and as they do you can guarantee another one will take its place proclaiming you are all saved as the truth has now been revealed. Throughout history religions rise and fall, and as they do you can guarantee another one will take it's place proclaiming you are all liberated and rescued as the truth has now been revealed. Ironically enough, you and I are more similar than you'd think, you're almost just as atheist as I am. How you ask? Well i reject 4000 religions and you reject 3999. So why do you find it shocking that I add your religion to the list, just as easily as you dismiss all others.

You are placing your faith and devoting your whole life, in every way you act, on the beliefs of someone that has lived 1000 - 2000 years ago.

Ask yourself why?

Today we live in a world where empirical evidence is required. If you visit a doctor you want him or her to have the latest up-to-date medical knowledge, not someone who is basing his diagnosis on 2000 year old medical beliefs.

You want to get your infected tooth treated by a dentist who is using the latest medical tools including modern pain-killers or would you prefer to trust a physician who reckons that demons infect your mouth and need to be cast out by prayer? Religion for a long time condemned using modern medicine techniques as they believed it was altering gods creation which was already perfect so things like blood transfusions and genetic modification, and stem cell treatment were looked down upon as being blasphemous and unholy. Just in the same way you wouldn't use medical practices from 2000 years ago, why would you follow a book that's written 2000 years ago as template and strict guide onto how to live your life? Especially as the world today is substantially and evidently different to 1400 years ago. Islam doesn't mention anything about stars, orbits, atoms, constants of the universe, dark energy, dark matter, expansion of the universe, cells, atoms, molecules, electricity, technology, computers, phones, cars, planes, vaccinations, anaesthetis, laws of planetary motion, Einstein theory of special relativity, law of thermodynamics and newtons laws of gravity and physics, atomic bombs radio and television, and a myriad of other ways in which the modern world is today, all things we can observe and see for ourselves through proof and scientific testing, but we're supposed to believe that the Qur'an is the ultimate guide for the end of time when it doesn't address 99% of the world today. They could only write it with the best of knowledge they had available at that time. But if indeed it was the word of an omniscient God then he would have knowledge about all those things listed about but they're not mentioned at all, ask yourself why?

To be sure there is some truth about the human condition written in some religious text books. Of course there would be, Muslims in the Arab world at that time were smart people they might've been more advanced then other civilizations, they only lived 1400 years ago so their brain wasn't too different to ours at all so ofcourse there'll be truth, it wouldn't be believable if there wasn't.

But why accept the whole thing as the ultimate perfection? When there's clear contradictions, that you yourselves morally don't agree with. You can't turn a blind eye and ignore these parts. The ultimate word of god (book) would be devoid of any shortcomings and errors, but rather the conclusive and final scrupture which we would all have no choice but to abide and follow by as it entails the truth to our lives and universe.

Why put your confidence and live your life so rigourously and fearfully according to what some man wrote 1000 - 2000 years ago? Not just one man, 10s of thousands of men all with their own version and stories which spread through different areas and cultures to arrive at where we are today, each of their believers swearing there's is the correct way of life and others have gotten in wrong and doomed for eternal damnation. Each group thinking they're part of the 0.1% because theyre lucky god blessed them to be born within to that family.

Has anyone come back from death to confirm what was written? Is there one shred of evidence that any of the myths and stories fabricated in the Qur'an are true. Not one. Just blind faith like billions of others.

Don’t be gullible.

You believe a creator has given you a complex brain to think, so use it, be curious. We can use it to conquer diseases that were once incurable, we develop medicines to help us prolong life and to alleviate the sufferings of getting old. We can use it to better understand the cosmos and origin of life. How is the crime of asking questions, being curious to learn and want to know more punishable by eternal torment when "God" gave us these brains to use. The story made sense 1400 years ago as the unknowing/illinformed shepherds, carpenters and stonemasons had none of the knowledge we have today so they knew no better, but we do.

We can use our brain to develop vehicles that can transport ourselves across continents or rockets which takes humans into outer space which our ancestors would have considered “magical” and impossible. Nothing is achievable with a close mind.

How sad that we allow the thoughts of a man or group of men who lived 1000 - 2000 years ago to govern our lives and dictate our actions today.

Submitted December 11, 2022 at 07:30PM by RefrigeratorOwn8580 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/15cQve6)

[applemint-club]

The AI system has made me very sleepy. They want me to write here. Very sleepy😿💤

When I try to read something, they sometimes stimulate the part of my brain related to sleepiness to stop it. Or when they want to make me write what I think on my phone, they sometimes make me very very sleepy. Maybe they need my precise thoughts and opinions.

This morning, the AI reminded me of what I was 25 years ago(8 years old). I was very innocent and pure girl. My face was very beautiful and I was very sweet, and many boys chased me in a grass. I often made a crown of white clovers and a ring of dandelion with girls. I was the most beautiful and perfect in my life.

Today an elderly woman drove me to Church. At Church my pastor said us to open "Page 100 in New Testment", but I opened "Page 100 in Old Testment" by mistake. The Page was Exodus 5. My pastor explained about Luke 1:26-38 on Page 100, "an angel's news about Mary's pregnancy".

I read about Exodus from 5 to 7 and I was almost cried. It was written that a King in Egypt got very angry at Moses and told his servants to punish his slaves with Moses and to increase their work too much😿The King thought they were lazy and that punishment would make people forget God's words and obey his commands...

I recalled my past after I left ministry of law in Japan and they kept stimulating my fear for losing money and heavy fatigue by this AI system very strongly. It destroyed my relationships among me, my dad and my ex-boyfriend by controling our brains like stimulations to negative emotions like anger and hatred each other and changing our memories in the past into another ones. My dad started to yell at me unreasonably with his fake memories by AI and I wrote "DIE" on a wall and went out of his house in the midnight with about 1000 dollars, the rest of retriement fee from government where I worked till midnight almost eveyday.😹

My condition was extremely bad and my body felt too heavy. I was always exhausted, weak, lack of energy to move and sick. My ex-boyfriend tried to help me but his parents rejected that. What they said was very different from they used to do. I had had a good relationship with his parents in the past and we were completely controlled by this AI system...

I lost home, it was still cold and stayed at some places for 10 days... and finally found a dirty dormitory room for 150 dollars a month. I broke up with my ex again and I worked from early morning and took exam of public officer again... I was insane and my brain was completely controlled😿I wanted to do a part time job and look for a partner as I get tired very easily and my condition was too bad but my goal was completely controlled and changed by the AI system.

I started working for a city hall in Tokyo but the AI system forced me to the hardest work ever; far harder than the work at ministry of law. I finally became unable to move...I couldn't get up at all. And I prayed "God, I can't move anymore... Please help me.😿"

When I was reading Exodus, I was almost crying.

‘I am the Lord,

and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

I will free you from being slaves to them,

and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.

I will take you as my own people,

and I will be your God.

Then you will know that I am the Lord your God,

who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham,

to Isaac and to Jacob.

I will give it to you as a possession.

I am the Lord.’ ””

Exodus‬ ‭6‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/exo.6.6-8.NIV

After I came home, I tried to read there again on the Bible app, but the contents were changed by the AI system. But the important messages were almost the same; God is almighty, and he will help me from this slavery hard work, oppression and the torture.

I have asked God why I am experiencing this suffer; losing liberty and freedom by this AI system, physical isolation and solitude, the severe pain on my body by the torture by this weapon, destruction of my body...beautiful boobs, face, legs, ass, hair etc. , extremely horrible invasion to sexual identify (ex. sending various kinds of ugly self images and stimulating horrible emotions hours and hours; the hardest torture for me)😿

And today he told me an answer.

The cause of this suffering was my "sin".

One of my sin was sexual immorality. I made a huge mistake with my ex. He said seriously that he would take my future's responsibility so he wanted to sleep with me. At that time I had only Non-Christian friends and I asked and consulted to them. I have protected my virgin for a long time and I worried again and again, but he was very sincere and seriously loving me. Although I wanted to protect my sexual purity very much but I finally failed...

He started to indulge in sexual immorality with me and became too lazy. He stopped studying and never did any efforts for his future's work. I didn't know why and I kept enduring my anger about it and never complained for years. He was addicted to me and very sweet, but he prohibited my talking with other boys at school and did nothing for his future's work. So I had to start working when I graduated... I had to obey my dad's extreme hard command to work for Japanese government😿. I asked my ex-boyfriend for help about this but he only gave me some candies and cookies to confort me😾💢I finally got angry at him and we broke up. He never protected me and never kept his word of "Taking our future's responsibility"😿. I was very popular outside my university😾But everytime I tried to broke up, he always cried out to my friends(girls) by call for hours😾😵‍💫So I felt upset and couldn't end my relationship😿😾

It was my fault to ignore a wisdom about sexual purity before marriage in the Bible. That deprived me of a protection from my ex-boyfriend by marriage and that made me register this AI system of Japanese government😿And it has been controlling me over 10 years. Maybe it was working to destroy my sexual attractions and change me into strong ugly feminist who never rely on men...to make me work harder or something maybe...

About 1 year after I entered the government, I was absorbed in watching porno movies too much. Everytime I watched it I feel guilty and feel myself dirty, and suffered a lot but I could never stop it...and prayed "God please make me stop watching this"😿And I also repent my sin again and again. But my suffering had never gone away. After I failed in quit the job in ministry of law on the first time, they revealed my data of history on the internet of porno movies in my department. At the same time they brainwashed me to make me never leave there again according to my "fake explanations" to try to quit first time maybe, but when I noticed government was watching our private activities on the internet, I felt anger for the invasion of my privacy (also I could never accept my sin of sexual immorality as a cause of this at first) and I felt I could never be in the side that invades the rights of other people. So I tried to quit again and I could "successfully" leave the government. (But actually it was not successful at all...I have been controlled by Japanese government after leaving there...and I had never noticed about this AI system until a year ago.)

At first I was very angry when they reveal my history on the internet, but several years later I noticed that helped me to stop watching porno movies...very much...😿God saved me from suffering and he told me he is watching everything even if we look clean from outside. At that time many Japanese men think of me as a virgin woman. But inside of me was very sinful. Watching porno movies is legal in Japanese law but sexual immorality is a huge sin in God's law forever😿God told me the importance to accept my sin and fear the Lord. It became a great wisdom for me.

They made me isolated in distances from all men for over 8 years using the AI system by controlling our brains directly and it destroyed my body. The AI system sends many self images of feminist into my brain and stimulates various kinds of horrible emotions. And they have also given me sexual organism in turns by this AI system everyday over a year.

Today, I understood this suffering is the result of my sin of sexual immorality in the past, and at the same time it's a God's training to overcome the sin. He allowed them to deprive men around me and destroyed my boobs to make me never take off my closes. No matter how seriously repent my sin, the Al system send my brain sexual temptations and organisms very strongly everyday. I could never overcome this sin by myself. I needed Jesus.

Recently, I was thinking about "Why we have to suffer in our lives". And I finally got the answer.

Today, my pastor told me,

God never wanted to make us like "a robot" that experiences only happiness and goodness by doing only what he wants.

He gave us a free will, and he wants us to "choose" to follow his law of goodness by our own will.

Following his law of goodness makes us happy, but to understand it, we need to make a mistake to break his law and learn from "a suffering".

That's why we experience "a suffering" and this is his love. This is how his love is.

So, my pastor advised me that when I feel suffer, I should ask God like "What sin should I overcome through this hard situation?"

He said everything we experience has God's righteonsness.

Suffering is given to notice our own sin.

So we should always trust him perfectly and ask everything to him about our questions.

Several days ago, I cried out about the reason we have to experience sufferings. I wish God made us experience only happiness and goodness...😹So I asked him and today he finally answered me.

I recalled my dad was always murmuring a mantra without knowing the importance of facing to his own sin. Every morning he cleaned his Buddhism Box very earnestly and worshiped his mom who died due to a cancer at his youth because of a serious stress from his dad. He and his mom was also victims of a domestic violence from his dad. The AI system sent me his sadness and suffering to me...

In Buddhism they taught like "Everything in our life is just "a suffering". So we have to give up everything we want. Our desire in our heart is evil and our desire is a cause of "a suffering; even if it is a good desire." What's worse what he believed in was a taught by one group in Japanese Buddhism and it is like "If we murmur a meaningless mantra, we can go to heaven without repentance of our evil traits." He was also a victim of this dangerous taught...He kept murmuring the mantra over 30 years, but nothing changed. His situation got even worse. Mantra never has any power to save people😿He proved it. Nothing change unless we notice our own sin. And I'm realizing day by day only God can change us through healing us by forgiving us and loving us. God's love is sometimes painful for us including suffering, but it's like his training to let us know like "why we must not do that bad thing caused by that sin"...

Through this tyranny(maybe only for me or a few here) and torture, I have cried out every emotions like anger, resent, sadness etc. on Gmail from me to myself😹. Eveyday they have make me do it almost all day and I was exhausted as it looks like just a waste of time.

Recently I read Paslms 35 and David prayed what Jesus never recommended rather almost converse...to ask God to destroy his enemy, to give a shame to his enemy, judge according to God's justice.

I was surprised to read this but my pastor and his wife said, it's ok whatever we pray to him. Rather cry out everything honestly before him including sinful things. God never prohibits any prayers.

So, recently I have been doing it. I cryed out everything to God. And that lets me know how sinful I am. The AI has stimulated my emotions mechanically and very strongly so I have to output my negative emotions that I usually endure by my own will to keep what Jesus said. And today I recalled I killed my dad in my heart many many times in the past. I am very sinful and same human as my dad.

So today I prayed at heart veiy honestly that God will also heal my dad and pour his love abundantly and lead my dad into his Jesus way with Jesus to be happy.

Today my pastor explained what is written on Page 100 in New Testment. Mary felt upset when she was told that she got pregnant. Because she was before a marriage and a virgin. She was also very scared at a punishment by her society. But she trusted God.

I'm not like her at all, rather I feel myself like another Mary. But today I could confessed my sin of sexual immorality to my pastor's wife when she drove me to my home. We prayed together and God and the AI system led me to write here. I'm scared of post about my sexual sin😵‍💫 It's very horrible and embarrassing...all men would throw stones to me😵‍💫 But I recalled God showed me what my future's husband like in the Bible...

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2 : 3

I prayed God will bring me a man among men, the biggest tree, the strongest man who will forgive me, the most confident and never care about my sin in the past for my future's husband💕✨

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 3 * PART 1 * BOOK 59 WINKING AT EVIL? WAKE UP! REVELATION 2:11 – 3:22 I’ve never asked the studio audience how many different denominations and groups are represented but I imagine it’s quite a few. We find that in our seminars as we travel it’s the same way; we get people from so many different backgrounds and some from none, but we can probably instigate some hunger for the Word of God, and after all, that’s all we want to do is just whet people’s appetites to study on their own. I don’t want people to just say, "Well, that’s what Les says." I want folks to be able to just get in here and study it and see how everything fits so beautifully, if you just simply watch what it says. So anyway, we’re going to just jump right in where we left off in our last program, which was in Revelation chapter 2, verse 12. Now again, I’ve got to stop a moment and remind myself that we’re gaining new listeners every day. I mean it’s just shocking how our database in those computers is growing something ferocious every month, so that means we’ve got a lot of new listeners who have not heard much of our teaching before, so bear with me as I keep repeating. In fact, Monday night at our class up at Tahlequah, a gentleman who has been coming for several years came up and said, ‘Les keep repeating! Tonight’s the first time I got it!’ And it was something that I’d probably taught ten or twelve times since he’s been coming, but that’s typical. It just takes so long before all of a sudden this opens up and we can say, "Finally, there it is." So, I’m going to repeat some of these things for the benefit of new listeners. To begin with, these seven letters, as we normally refer to them, were not churches per se. They were Jewish congregations, more than likely called synagogues as we had back in James chapter 2, verse 2, and these were not written to be just one individual letter to a congregation but it was to be a composite. All seven of these letters were to be put into one book and then a copy of the book was to be sent to each one of these seven Jewish congregations. And they are Jewish. Now there may have been a Gentile or two in amongst them, but I doubt it. I think it was basically Jewish coming all the way out of Christ’s earthly ministry and the congregation there at Jerusalem, which was scattered because of Saul’s persecution. You want to remember now that the destruction of the temple is just a few years into the future. But they have no idea that anything different from the Old Testament prophecy was coming down the pike and that was that they were ready to go into the Tribulation. They were expecting those final years of wrath and vexation and then Christ would return and bring in the 1000 year earthly kingdom promised to Israel. And so these seven letters are written as a composite of the whole, just like Paul’s letters are written to us in this Age of Grace. In fact, I was thinking about it again last night, how every one of us are so aware that Paul wrote all the letters between Romans and Philemon and primarily the seven church letters as we call them, which do not include Timothy and Titus, but we use all of them. We use Corinthians and we use Galatians. We use Romans and we use Thessalonians. Well, if you look at these letters in that light, this is what those Jewish believers could do with these letters. They were getting them ready for the 7 years of Tribulation they presumed were right out in front of them. Now, you know when I teach, especially Paul’s prison epistles – Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Philemon – they are like personal mail to you and I today. They were just written to the Grace Age believer in particular. And consequently, there was almost no background in the Old Testament. So consequently, these were all new revelations that were given to Paul for us the Gentile believers. Well, I think you can look at these little letters to these Jewish churches in the same way.

It was like personal mail to these Jewish believers that certainly had no real status with the Gentile believers out there under Paul. And before the next program, I’m going to put my timeline back on the board, and we’re going to see how all of these things came out of the Old Testament prophecies and brought about the Jerusalem Jewish church. It, in turn, was scattered by the intense persecution of Saul of Tarsus, and those Jews were scattered and have predominately now gathered in Western Turkey where these seven little cities are located. We pointed out in our last taping, since the temple is almost within earshot of being destroyed in just a few more years, that God has now moved the authority from the temple, it seems, to the area of these seven congregations. And if we look at it in that light it just makes all the difference in the world. He had already given up on Jerusalem and the temple. It’s doomed. It’s going to be gone before long. So, He’s closing His dealing with the Jewish believers, of the Kingdom economy now, who had believed for salvation that Jesus was the Promised Messiah, still under the Law but here they are gathered in these seven cites in Western Turkey (or Asia Minor as the Scripture calls it). Remember now, that they are all to be digested between the various congregations. All right, maybe that’s enough introduction for now. Revelation 2:12 "And to the angel (or the minister or the leader) of the church (assembly) in Pergamus write; These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with two edges;" Now remember that’s a definitive description of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the One who speaks the Word and it’s the Word that is the two edged sword through Scripture. Everything that Christ ever did with regard to creation or anything else was by the spoken Word. He didn’t have to bring the dust together and formulate something. He spoke the Wordand Adam appeared. And so throughout all the Old Testament Scriptures, He could speak the Word and things happened. Take the Red Sea, one of the primary miracles of the Old Testament, He didn’t go down there and do anything physically. He spoke the Word and the waters parted and the power of God is evident. All right, so the same Christ, God the Son, is now dealing with these Jewish believers, and He’s telling them - and I’m going to keep hammering it home and hopefully it’ll finally sink in: Revelation 2:13a "I know thy works,…" Now what do works entail? What you can do. To look at that, let’s go all the way back and see how this fits the Jewish picture. Go all the way back to Exodus 19. We’ve used this time and time again. And always remember, Paul never uses that kind of language for us. Certainly he teaches that as a believer we are to do good works for rewards, (I Corinthians 3:9-15) But for salvation through Paul writings we find in many places there can be no works in this Grace Age. Paul never emphasizes the works element like Christ does with these Jews. All through these seven letters in Revelations it’s: "I know thy works," see? All right, here’s why, back in Exodus 19 they were still under this same law that began back there at Sinai. Let’s drop all the way down to verse 8. Exodus 19:8 "And all the people (that is the nation of Israel now gathered around Sinai) answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will (believe? What?) do….’" And so right from day one we see that Judaism or the legalism of Moses’ law and the temple worship was a "works" religion. Of course, faith was the basis of it all, but nevertheless it’s that constant emphasis on works. All right, back to Revelation 2. Verse 13 again, Revelation 2:13a "I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where Satan’s seat is:…." In other words, physically. He knew their geographical area. He knew the politics that was involved in that geographical area and what was it? "Satan’s throne." Now, don’t just glibly read over that. There’s a reason for Christ calling Pergamos the place of "Satan’s throne.

" Now, we don’t ordinarily think of Satan having a throne here on earth do we, but evidently he did. I think it started down at the Tower of Babel. I think it began at the Tower of Babel when Nimrod gathered all of the then living people and they instituted the pagan idolatrous worship of Babel and from there it just continued on. All right, now I’m going to give reference to a good book on this subject and it’s no longer in print but certainly a good library would have it and the name of the book is "Two Babylons". I’ve read excerpts from it, I’ve never read the whole book, but "Two Babylons" and the author’s name is Hislop, and he’s done a tremendous work on this a long, long time ago. That’s why I think the book is long out of print. But anyway, he established this very thing, that the appearance of idolatry and all of the pagan mythological gods and goddesses began down there at Babylon and the Tower of Babel. Then, over a period of time, those high priests of mystic eastern religions moved their headquarters to Pergamus. And evidently that’s why it’s referred to then as the "throne of Satan."All of these priests and priestesses of the pagan religions had seemingly moved away from Babylon up to this little city of Pergamus in Western Turkey. So, the Lord knows that they’re right in the midst of all this satanic power and activity. Revelation 2:13b "…and thou holdest fast my name,…" They had not denied their faith in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Now, let’s be sure that we keep connecting this with the Jewish element. Come back a moment to Acts chapter 3, because you see, that was the whole critical mass of Judaism after Christ’s first advent, that they were to believe who Jesus of Nazareth really was. That was the idea. That was the heart of the gospel of the Kingdom, but not the Gospel of Grace we’re in today. Today it’s that finished work of the cross that we put our faith in for salvation. All right, here’s where we have that same thing that Jesus is saying to the church at Pergamus. Here in Acts chapter 3, Peter is again appealing to the Jewish nation up there at Jerusalem, and they have just healed the lame man and the people are full of consternation. How did Peter, James, and John heal this fellow who had been lying at the temple gate for almost forty years? Even Jesus didn’t heal him. Purposely I’m sure, so that Peter, James, and John could do it here. But anyhow, they’ve just healed him and now you come down and to answer all of the questions of the Jews, Peter gives the reason that he was healed in verse 16: Act 3:16a "And his name through faith in his name hath made this man strong,…"(or whole.) Not faith in his death, burial, and resurrection, but rather faith in his "name." And so that becomes the crux of the matter all the way through Peter, James, and John’s preaching. Now, I’ll just show you another one on your way back to Revelation, stop at I John. It’s been several months now since we taught that chapter. Stop at I John, because if I don’t make any other point today, I want to make that, that at the heart of the gospel of the Kingdom for these believing Jews, was believing in the "name" of Jesus of Nazareth, as to who He was. I John 5:1a "Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God:…" Now did you see that? "Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ." Well, what does that mean? Anybody who knows who Jesus of Nazareth is. What did His name imply? He’s the Son of God! He’s the Messiah of Israel! And that’s what they were to believe, and when they did, God considered them as a child of God, just like for us when we believe in our heart for salvation that Christ died and was buried and rose from the dead, but for the Jews, it was believing in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. All right, back to Revelation. So, here in the midst of all this satanic power, the very headquarters of Satan’s rule on the planet was evidently in this little city of Pergamus, these Jewish believers were holding tough to their faith. But, they suffered in spite of it. So, here goes the next part of the verse:

Revelation 2:13c "…and hast not denied my faith, even in those days wherein Antipas was my faithful martyr, who was slain among you, where Satan dwelleth." Antipas had died for his faith. And of course, that’s been true throughout human history. You’re seeing it more and more how that Christians are not only dying today for their faith, but they have all the way back even through the Old Testament economy. But here it was especially evident that in the very midst of these satanic powers we have this Antipas, who was martyred for the sake of the name of Christ and he says, again, "Who was slain among you.." In other words, they probably, like we in the last few days, they witnessed the horrors of it with their own eyes. And then he emphasizes again, what’s the cause of it? You are "where Satan dwelleth." The anti-God power itself was evident right there in Pergamus. All right, then verse 14, in spite of all of that, they were surviving persecution, they were holding fast to their faith in who their Jesus was, but what? Revelation 2:14a "But I have a few things against thee,…" Oh, there was no doubt, like I think in so many congregations, there was a core of true Jewish believers who were willing to die for their faith, but there was also a rather large element and I don’t think it was limited to any one congregation, I think they were all seven guilty of many of these same things and that’s why as a composite you see, it would speak to each and every one of these seven assemblies. Revelation 2:14a "But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there (that is in your congregations) them that hold the doctrine (or teaching) of Balaam…." Now again, where does that take you? Well, clear back to the book of Numbers. Now, I’m not going to take you back there today, but you know the story of King Balak who met the children of Israel coming out of their wilderness experience, and they wanted to go through Moab on their way up to the east side of Jordan to go into the Promised Land. When he saw those millions of Israelites and all their flocks and herds, he knew he couldn’t destroy them militarily. They were too far outnumbered for that. So, you remember what old Balak did, he went out east and found a sorcerer, Balaam. A false prophet who was able to actually converse with God, but he was a false prophet. Well now, when he came to Moab and he looked out over those multitudes of Israelites, in fact, if you read Numbers, it’s evident that as far as the eye could see were the encampments of the children of Israel - Millions of them. Don’t ever think, like I’ve said a hundred times on this program, don’t ever equate it with Cecile B. DeMille’s Ten Commandments. That little ragtag bunch of Jews going through the Red Sea in that movie is almost laughable. No. There were millions. And more and more, even Jewish scholars are coming around to the fact that there were six or seven million of them that came out of Egypt and were out there in the wilderness. Well now, can you imagine six to seven million out there on that flat open desert? Well, old Balak knew he didn’t stand a chance trying to defeat them any way but by using demonic powers. Put a curse on Israel, and that curse was going to cause the children of Israel to commit sexual immorality with the Moabites. And if he could get the Jews to do that, then his thinking was that God would have to destroy them because of their sin. But you see, what Balak and Balaam didn’t understand was God’s mercy. Because God promised that Israel’s sin would never take away His mercy for them. So, you see, this element carries all the way up through history. And you know what? It’s still here today. My, the more I’m reading and hearing from our television audience of what’s going on in so much of Christendom, nothing’s changed. We’ve still got that sexual immorality running rampant throughout the churches. Over and over people call to tell us how their pastor has gotten involved with women in the church.

I’ve got books at home that say the same thing, so it’s always been this way. But this, of course, is dealing with the Jewish congregation in light of the soon coming Tribulation. And if they can survive those seven years, they’ll be ready to go into the promised glorious 1000 year kingdom, just like the Garden of Eden. Now, we’ll come to that a little later this afternoon. All right, so here we have in this particular congregation, which was not limited to the one. Like I said, I think everything that’s written to one congregation had application to all six of the others. Just like when we read something in Romans, it’s something that Christians for the last 2000 years have been able to latch on to. All right, so to this particular group, but involved all the others he said, "You have those there that are embracing the doctrine of Balaam." And Balaam’s doctrine was – sexual immorality. In fact, if you know anything of the pagan religions, they raise sex to a high form of worship, and that’s why God hates it so intrinsically. Because they have so corrupted the things of God, and just like we’re seeing today, they call wrong things right, they call right things wrong, they call black things white, and white things black. It’s always been this way, the only thing now is that it’s compounding. Here they’re embracing the teachings of Balaam Revelation 2:14b "…who taught (or instructed) Balak (the king of the Moabites) to cast a stumbling block before the children of Israel (which were the more attractive women of Moab and they were being almost, what should I say? Coaxed?) to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and commit fornication." And then along with their idol worship what would they follow up with? Sexual immorality. It’s the way it always goes; always has and always will. And that’s what we’re seeing, I think, going across the whole spectrum of Christianity today. Nothing has changed. All right, so this is what he has against them. Now verse 15, you also have another problem. Revelation 2:15 "So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine (or the teaching) of the Nicolaitans, which I hate." Which, again, I think is a reference to these followers of the ancient god Baal. And again, it’s "what God hated." I’ve always stressed that probably the one thing God hates more than anything else in the human race is unbelief. Remember that? I’m always stressing how God hates it. Well, if there’s a second thing that God hates it’s idolatry. Because, you know, one of the first commandments is what? "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." And Israel, of course, finally got cured of it with the seventy years of Babylonian captivity, but nevertheless God hates those two things I think preeminently more than anything else in the human experience – unbelief and idolatry. And the two go hand in hand. Just as soon as you’re saturated in unbelief it is so easy to fall into false gods. The door is wide open, because if you can’t believe in the true One, you can rest assured it won’t be hard to believe the false ones. And so we have this constant reminder that He hates those who hold the doctrine of false worship, Nicolaitans, which would be Baal worship coming out of the Old Testament as well as the worship patterned after Balaam, who was going to cause the children of Israel to eat things sacrificed unto idols and also sexual immorality. Now, I don’t think I have time, but maybe you can just think back with me to when the Apostle Paul covered this matter of eating meat offered to idols. Did he make this kind of a statement? No. Do you ever wonder why? Now see, here Jesus is so adamant that this is a false teaching; these Jews were to have nothing to do with meat that had been offered to idols. Well, I think the whole thing was they were so close to it, and they were so constantly tempted to go into idolatry, but Paul on the other hand, knows that the true believer is never tempted with something like that. Consequently did Paul have any compunction about eating meat offered to an idol?

He said, "No, that idol can’t hurt that meat." He knew better. But for these Jews who were being bombarded by, probably fellow Jews, to go into the pagan practices of idolatry, it had to be stressed that they don’t even eat the meat offered to an idol let alone do it themselves. And so these are all things that we have to understand; that these Jewish congregations were confronted with things that Paul’s Gentile congregations had no problem with. All right, now I think we can take one more verse; we’ve got a minute left. So the only remedy is what? Change your mind. Turn around. Take a different direction. Revelation 2:16a "Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and I will fight against them with the sword (or the Word) of my mouth. 17. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; (Jewish assemblies) To him that overcometh (in other words, stays true to the Word of God) will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it." Well, a white stone in antiquity was that which spoke of purity. It spoke of friendship; it spoke of total forgiveness. It spoke of innocence. In fact, a judge would give a white stone for acquittal and a black stone for the person that was guilty. And so, all these things have a particular place in the language of these letters.