#i wrote a really good section of it tonight. please someone give me an excuse to share it

[firsttraintovictoriaville]

Feel like pure shit just want meanwhile in australia back x

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

We've Got Tonight - Ch 5

Summary: “It’s not your job to do this, Andy. You make people happy. I was in the diner all of ten minutes, and you knew exactly how to get me to smile. You do normal, real things like garden and sing karaoke. Saving the world is my job, Sam’s job. Sometimes it’s even Cas’s job, but it’s not yours.”

Inspired by Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight”

Warnings: Major Character Death, More Major Character Deaths (sort of?), higher than show level violence, blood, light smutting, language, demons, apocalypse, inferred suicide, cult activity.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: This story is set hazily around season 8. Just squint a little, and it’ll settle in somewhere. I wrote this story after certain big revelations in the show, but before other big ones; you’ll most likely be able to tell which. I play with time a bit in the story itself, so if things seem out of order, they are. Hopefully, by the end, all the pieces will fit together.

What the hell, let’s give it a shot.

Image and major edits by the incomparable @there-must-be-a-lock . Heavy editing and cheering by @thoughtslikeaminefield . Thank you both so much.

This chapter in particular is dedicated to @foxyjwls007 . If I'm going to torture you with something, it's not going to be a cliffhanger. I'm going out of town for two weeks, so you get an update early since I won't be able to post while I'm away. Thank you for the encouragement.

In case you missed it: Chapter 4 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

...

We’ve Got Tonight

Chapter 5

“Miss? Miss? Hey, are you okay?”

A hand grips Andy’s arm, firm but polite, and she jerks to, almost losing her footing. It’s been a long day already, and she still has two hours before she can go home, shower, and put her feet up for a little while before karaoke at the Brass Monkey starts up.

Maybe I can even fit in a nap, she thinks excitedly. But first, gotta wake up and make it through the rest of my shift.

Of course, if she hadn’t been tossing and turning all night from a crazy dream, she wouldn’t be as tired as she is now, but that’s neither here nor there. And it doesn’t help that she can’t even remember the stupid dream. It was really long, though, and there was blood and books and…someone...

“Can I get a refill over here?”

One hour, forty-seven minutes, and twenty-two seconds to go. She can do this.

The minutes crawl, though, and it’s all she can do to stay on her feet and focus. The lunch crowd has long since thinned, and she’s about to ask if she can maybe take off a little early when the door chimes, and she catches the tail end of the entering customers’ conversation.

“Could you at least consider putting something green on your plate? Like, ever? Broccoli won’t kill you.”

“I’ve already told you, I’m getting breakfast since you didn’t wake me up early enough to eat a decent one this morning. Pancakes, bacon, and coffee, which, I might add, grows on a tree, so it counts as a plant. That’s balanced enough for me. You like broccoli; knock yourself out, Jolly Green.”

“Sam isn’t green, Dean. Is your vision faulty? Perhaps we should get your eyes examined. Or you could try carrots along with the broccoli. Carrots are supposed to improve vision.”

No. No, no, no, she thinks, her mind whirling frantically. It was a dream, they can’t be here. This is...this is how it started, and...

She turns, and there they are, Sam and Dean dolled up in their clean, pressed feds suits and Cas looking just as rumpled and bewildered as she suddenly remembers. They seat themselves at an empty table in her section, but any thoughts of leaving early evaporated the second she heard their voices.

Every moment of the dream, every minute of those four weeks comes screaming back, cramming each terror-laden, tension-ridden second into her mind so fast she actually does stumble and has to grab the back of a nearby booth to keep from hitting the worn-out linoleum.

“It...hasn’t happened yet.”

“I’m sorry, did you say something? Hey, hey, hold on there. Are you okay?”

Then Sam’s hand is supporting her elbow, helping her straighten up, and she looks up into his concerned eyes, unable to express how glad she is just to see him breathing. Behind him, Dean and Cas are arguing about something trivial, wonderfully animated and alive and completely unaware of her.

“I’m sorry, hun, it’s just been a long shift. Gimme a minute to grab some waters and menus, and I’ll be right over.” Sam accepts her flimsy excuse at face value, and why wouldn’t he? He hasn’t lived with her for the better part of a month, hasn’t saved her life once, hasn’t tried to save the world with her. He doesn’t know her at all.

Why should he question a strange waitress in a strange diner who says she’s had a long day? He’s met hundreds of women just like her, maybe thousands, and he’s got no reason to question a completely legitimate statement.

She rushes into the back to find the coldest water possible to splash on her face. Her reflection gapes back at her from the staff bathroom mirror as the enormity of her situation begins to dawn on her.

Why? Why is this happening? Either she actually lived through those weeks and is somehow getting a do-over, or she dreamed the whole thing and is getting a shot to fix things from this end. But why? And how?

How in the hell?

Think, Andrea, think. It was real. It will be real. It hasn’t happened yet. You haven’t screwed everything up yet. You have to fix this. But how? How can I fix it when I screwed everything up so very badly last time?

Just...think. Think. Start small. Try to stop it before it happens. But...the cult. Crowley said they were real. They found me before, they’ll find me again. I could talk to Sam and Dean and Cas about what's going to happen. They’ve been through enough insanity in their lives that I actually have a pretty good shot at convincing them.

She stares into the mirror, racking her brain for every helpful detail she learned during her time with the Winchesters.

They're already investigating all the break-ins hereabouts; those were the cultists looking for me in the first place. Then they find me, take me, bleed me, and start the apocalypse. The boys could stop the ritual before it even happens.

Her reflection in the mirror frowns, unconvinced the solution could possibly be that easy.

But the literature, the books, it’s all still out there. Someone else could find it, could come after me. My blood is the problem. I’m the key. As long as I’m around, someone could still use me to end everything. Crowley can still use me to get to them. Think. You’ve got to actually stop everything and save them this time.

Her eyes widen as realization dawns. The world can’t make it without the Winchesters. There’s only one way out of this.

Fifteen minutes later, she sets a fresh green salad in front of Sam before dropping a towering stack of steaming pancakes in front of Dean.

“Fresh pot of coffee coming off in two, be right back with your refills. Need any more butter or syrup, hun? How ‘bout a couple of extra pieces of bacon on the house?”

“Don’t encourage him, please,” Sam groans. Dean slaps his brother on the back of the head, sending Sam’s coiffed hair into a tizzy of disarray. Sam swipes back at his brother, who waves off Sam’s attempts at retaliation like he’s swatting a fly.

“You shut your pie hole. She said free bacon. That makes her a queen.” He turns his most charming smile on her, glancing down at her name tag then back up to meet her gaze squarely. The crinkles around his eyes deepen with his grin. “Andrea, is it?”

“Andy,” she corrects automatically, and she can’t help her answering smile. He throws her a wink that clearly says he knows he’s cheesy but it's all part of his irresistible charm.

She doesn’t disagree.

“You are a goddess, Andy. I love you, and you need to know that.”

“You don’t,” she says, only just managing to keep her voice and smile level, “but you could.” His answering laugh sends a twinge through her chest, and if she clenches her jaw a little around her smile, she figures she’s entitled.

When the men finally finish eating, she offers a slip of paper to Dean, while Sam pretends he isn’t rolling his eyes.

“There’s a karaoke competition at the Brass Monkey tonight. Winner gets tab on the house for a week. Interested in maybe meeting up there around ten or so? We could have a drink, sing a song, and see where the rest of the night takes us.”

He grins and takes the slip from her with sure fingers. She’s certain he has her number memorized before the paper even retains his prints, but he makes a special show of tucking it safely into his pocket.

“Dean, do you think it wise to allow yourself to be so distracted when we’re in the middle of an investigation?”

And without even realizing it, Cas gives her the perfect opening.

“Oh, you boys investigating all the break-ins hereabouts? Were they too much for our local boys to handle? Listen, hun, my friend was one of the ladies whose house got broken into. If you want to stick around for a few minutes, I can fill you in on what I know and send you her way. Would that help?”

Castiel’s eyebrows lift in surprise, and he is clearly pleased with his first-rate investigating skills. “That would help immensely, Miss Andrea. Thank you.”

She can’t believe her luck at such a perfect lead-in, and she runs with it.

“Now that I think about it, the shop next door mentioned something about their alarm getting tripped a few nights in a row. Maybe I could talk to your friend while you two check it out? And I’ll see you tonight, Dean? Ten o’clock?”

Dean’s grin softens, and she can see the faintest tinge of red along his cheeks. She didn’t notice it the first time around, and now she wishes she’d paid more attention. Then the brothers leave, and she’s alone with the angel. ...

Chapter 6

[farfromtommy]

black and white (tom holland x singer!reader)

request: all too well part two? Maybe happy ending

a/n: this is a continuation of all too well! i left this one with kind of an open ending. not angsty like the previous fic. i really loved writing this and i’ve been thinking about making this sort of a mini series with different songs. please let me know what you think! based off of the song black and white by niall horan 

requests are open!

word count: 2,200

warnings: quick allusion to sex

masterlist  social media au masterlist  taglist form 

part 1

You walked calmly off stage wiping the few tears off your face. You kept your head down as you walked towards your dressing room to get ready to leave, moving as quickly as you could to avoid any familiar faces. With the last of your things packed, you grabbed your bag and followed your assistant  out of the building. Right as you rounded a corner you heard chatter and Tom’s voice right ahead of you. He spotted you immediately and said ‘if you’ll excuse me for just one second’ before walking towards you. 

“Hey, Y/N. It’s uh.. It’s really good to see you.” Tom mumbled quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. Your assistant looked at you questioningly. “I’ll be out in a minute, just have the car pull around.” You said to her and she walked off. 

“Yeah it’s good to see you, too.” You rubbed the side of your arm and met his gaze. “They didn’t tell me who was going to be on the show tonight. I probably wouldn’t have put us in this position if I would’ve known you were here with everyone.”  You told him truthfully. Regardless of how things ended for you and Tom, the last thing you wanted to do was put him in an uncomfortable situation. 

He had an unreadable expression on his face. It was uncommon for you to be unable to know what Tom was feeling, it had become a sort of superpower of yours. 

“It was an amazing performance, I’m glad I was able to see it. You know I always loved watching you perform.” He said, gesturing his hand to the entrance to the stage. He was nervous, you knew it. You saw movement from behind him and saw your manager waving you to hurry up the conversation. 

“T-Thank you. Uh, look. I need to go. Tonight is the last show on tour at O2 and I need to get to rehearsals.  Um. If you want to go, I’ll have my assistant put you on the guest list. Bring whomever you’d like, there won’t be a guest limit. We can talk more after the show, if you’d like.” You moved to start walking towards the door, nodding towards your assistant. 

“Yeah, I’d really enjoy that. I’ll be there.” He said, saying his goodbyes as you said yours and he watched you jog off. You looked over your shoulder as you walked out the door and saw him still staring at you. 

~~ 

Tom walked into the VIP section, nerves radiating off of him. He was recognized by a few other celebrities there and by the fans sitting close by. Flashes started going off in the stands and screams were heard as he looked around and waved. He was wearing a lanyard with your new album cover and ‘special guest’ written along the bottom. 

He greeted the handful of people he knew and took a few pictures as well. He ran into a few of your friends who seemed shocked and a bit skeptical to see him, knowing the history. He shot them a tightlipped smile and a polite nod before grabbing a beer and heading to a spot where you could see him from the stage.

He had been in this spot like this many, many times before. Him and Harrison had often gone to your shows as special guests for support. This was the opening night of you opening for Harry Styles. He did his first musical feature on your latest album and you had been really good friends for a while, so it made sense to have you open for him. It was a dream of yours to perform in O2 stadium alongside an amazing artist like him. He knew one day it’d be your name in big letters all over the stadium. 

The lights dimmed and the thousands of people screamed as they heard the beat to one of your songs. You walked out with a huge grin on your face and started singing the lyrics. All the fans joined in and even Tom caught himself singing along. The song ended and the screams of the crowd made Tom’s whole body vibrate. He looked around and saw the pure joy spread across the faces of the fans at the mere sight of you. 

“London, how are we doing tonight?!” You screamed into the mic and pointed it towards the crowd. 

“I’m so overwhelmed with joy, excitement, and a little bit of nervousness to be here tonight. This is the biggest crowd I think I have ever performed in front of. Everyone give yourselves a round of applause for selling out all 20,000 seats!” You giggled into the mic as the crowd continued to go crazy. 

“I just want to give a quick shoutout to my amazing friend for allowing me to join him on tour this year. Travelling the world with such an amazing group of people has been the adventure of a lifetime and I’m so grateful to have been a part of this. Let’s give it up for Harry Styles!” The crowd went nuts at the mention of the headliner and Tom politely clapped and cheered. 

One of Tom’s favorite things in the world was watching you perform. He loved the energy that came out of every pore in your body, and the crowd loved it too. His favorite moments were hearing the crowd singing along to your songs and watching your reactions to it. Your time on stage seemed to go so quick. He hadn’t realized it was almost time for you to wrap up your set. 

“I’m having a blast with you all tonight, but unfortunately our time together is coming to a close. I have a few more songs for you tonight. I wrote this next one a few years ago, kind of as a personal message for me and someone really special to me and I never recorded it and only performed it for one person.” You paused, grabbing your favorite guitar and clearing your throat. 

“This song means a lot to me, personally. I performed on the Graham Norton show today and while I was there, something reminded me of it and I had to dig it up so I could share it with you all tonight.” You looked around the VIP section until your eyes landed on Tom. His heart sped up as you shot him a smile and he sent you a small wave. 

That first night we were standing at your door Fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you Ask me if I want to come inside 'Cause we didn't want to end the night Then you took my hand, and I followed you

He remembers the lyrics to this song vaguely. You wrote this song for him. You would spend hours with your guitar on the couch humming along to lyrics you came up with. You had performed it for him once, when you finished it. He remembers the smile on your face as you sang to him and the blush that spread across your cheeks as he got emotional listening to you sing. 

Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

This is the song I’m dedicating to you on my album. We’re gonna tell the whole world about us, Tommy. I want everyone to know how much I love you. This is how I want to do it, is what you told him when you set your guitar down after you finished singing the song. He told you he was finally ready to tell the world about your relationship. It had been over a year already, and he was getting tired of sneaking around. He was ready to show you off to everyone. 

Now, we're sitting here in your living room Telling stories while we share a drink or two And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind We're 65 and you ask "When did I first know?" I always knew

You always knew Tom was it for you. Even after the breakup, you knew you’d never love anyone the way you love him. Even after meeting Harry and falling into his arms and into his bed, you both were aware of the deep love you still had for Tom. You thanked him for those intimate moments you had with each other and swore it never had to come up again. He stuck by your side and helped you heal from the heartbreak. The friendships you developed with him and his band were the reason you managed to stay afloat and allowed yourself to enjoy life again. 

Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

The fans could sense the emotion through your words and stayed silent as your voice filled every corner of the arena. Flashlights were out and hands were in the air as they moved in sync with the people around them. Tom could feel the eyes of your friends burning into his skin as he kept his eyes glued to you. All he wanted to do was jump on stage and tell you everything he wished he could’ve told you after you ran out of his house. He reached out to you handfuls of times after the breakup, wanting to apologize to you and to try and fix what he had broken. 

I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes

Your silence spoke volumes to him. You never returned any of his texts or his calls. The only thing he had heard from you was a message that had been passed onto him by a mutual friend. Y/N said she needs to find out who she is without you. She said that maybe one day your paths will cross again and maybe take another shot at it, but for now she wants to be alone and hopes you understand why. She also wanted me to tell you that she’s never going to stop loving you and if you find someone who makes you happy, she hopes you’ll love them the way you did her. I’m sorry, Tom. I wish I could’ve passed along a better message. Take care of yourself.  

I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night There'll never be another I promise that I'll love ya

Your eyes scanned the crowd and you watched them as they felt every word of what you were singing. You continued your scan to the VIP area and smiled as you saw your friends and they blew kisses to you. Tom’s gaze never broke even as you met his eyes. He felt the emotion bubbling in his gut as he continued to listen and watch you. Your eyes never left his as you kept singing. 

I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

He mouthed the words with you as you sang them so powerfully. He let a few tears fall and wiped them away. Your voice wavered a bit as you started to get emotional as well and the crowd heard the slight dip in your voice. Some fans followed your gaze that landed on Tom and went crazy as they saw him in a similar state as you. A few noticed him mouthing the words to the song you had said you only performed for one person. You smirked as you watched the handful of fans put the pieces together and whisper to the people around them. You winked at Tom and he blew you a kiss. 

There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

[fanfiction4thesoul]

In a Moment

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: ~2.7

Warnings: Fluff and swearing (I think - can’t quite remember), also really cheesy

Summary: Soulmate AU where when you meet the eyes of your soulmate, you relive their entire life and see a few scenes from your future together.

A/N: So I wrote this probably in the span of a few hours but over the course of like 3 weeks so please excuse any grammar mistakes. This semester has been killing me so I don’t have as much time as I would like. Anyway, I’ve always been a big fan of soulmate au’s of any kind, so I thought I’d take a stab at an unconventional one. I don’t know if I’ll write another part to this or not. I’m also contemplating doing a whole series of just different soulmate au’s for the fun of it. Okay, I’m done blabbing, enjoy!

“David, it’s 5 so I’m headed out!” You called back to the owner. It was actually passed 5 but you had stayed to finish up what you were doing. You really needed to get home and study. Exams were right around the corner and if you didn’t sit down and do some real work, you were afraid you might be in some trouble.

You worked at a quaint bookstore close to your university. It offered seating and a small cafe so it was hugely popular with the uni kids. They could come in and study or find a new book to read. Your boss even tried to keep some of the textbooks in stock just to raise business. 

Despite its success during the semester, it never seemed to be busy during exams. You supposed it was because everyone else studied at the libraries on campus. 

“Wait! (Y/N)!” David yelled out before you could get out the door. “Something came up and I have to run. Can you close the shop tonight? Please?”

You hesitated. David was a great boss and you wanted to help, but again, you needed to study. 

“I’ll pay you time and a half.”

Well then. “Okay, but you also owe me breakfast and a coffee tomorrow morning.”

“Deal. Thank you so much, see you tomorrow!” He yelled, barreling out the door in a hurry. 

You sighed looking back at the store front. Guess your day wasn’t over after all. 

The rest of the day went fairly slow, with only a small rush in the middle to fill the void. Customers dwindled as you went back and forth between the bookshelves and the cafe. Before you knew it, the store was dead and you still had a half hour to go. 

The store had marvelous ceiling to floor bookshelves that were beautiful to look at but such a pain in the ass to work around. There was unfortunately only one ladder that was used to reach the higher shelves and you always put it off. That ladder was a little rickety and the floors just uneven enough that you were always afraid you were going to take a tumble. But you literally did everything else you could. You even wiped down the tables twice. So there was nothing left to do but restock and inventory the higher shelves. 

You grabbed the ladder and moved it around enough until you thought it was as stable as it was gonna get. Grabbing a stack of books, you quickly climbed up and began rearranging. 

Everything was going fine. You got through most of the books. It’s when you got to the science fiction section that you felt the ladder wobble. 

Your eyes widened as you tried to steady yourself but your movement jolted the ladder and you lose your balance. Bracing for impact, you closed your eyes and tried to tuck your head in. Just as you thought you were going to hit the hard floor, a soft mass hit you instead and you landed with a small “oof.”

The warm mass that hit you groaned and you realized with a start it was another person. You quickly opened your eyes and shot up from the ground. Looking down, you found a man with long blonde hair spread out over the floor. His bag was thrown across the aisle with the contents spilled out. He rubbed his head, eyes scrunched closed as he sat forward. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” You said. “Are you okay? Oh god, you didn’t get a concussion did you?” You were starting to panic a little. Whoever he was just saved you from a possibly hard tumble. But what if you hurt him instead? He probably hit his head on the floor. Can you get a concussion from that? Maybe you should call for an ambulance.

“I’m fine, love. Just smacked my head a bit but I’ll be okay. You’re not hurt, are you?” he asked, looking at his lap and getting his bearings. 

“I’m good, thanks to you,” you said, “here let me help.” You extended your hand out to help him and he finally looks up. Just as he grabbed your offered hand, his eyes met yours. 

And suddenly, you weren’t in the bookshop anymore. 

You’re playing a small drum set while your mother watches on with a soft smile.

You’re riding a bike down the street with your friends. You’re racing to the candy shop at the end of the corner.

You’re snogging a beautiful brunette behind the science building of your school. Her lips are soft but warm.

You feel the harsh slap of your father’s hand across your face. And you feel all the other blows after it.

You tap away a rhythm on the desk with your pencil while your professor drones on about something you already know. You still get reprimed for disturbing the class.

You’re lugging your drum kit to Imperial College after seeing an ad. You walk in with all the confidence in the world because you’re Roger fucking Taylor.

Memory after memory flooded your mind. A lifetime of them. And then you were back in the bookshop, but only long enough to realize that you weren’t Roger Taylor before you were off again.

You’re watching Roger from the wings of a stage as he pounds away on the drums. There are other people on the stage, but you only have eyes for him. He looks up and gives you a dazzling smile and a wink before turning back to the drums. You can feel your smile grow wider.

Roger has his arm around your waist as he talks into your ear. You’re sitting on a sofa together as a party rages around you. You mingled around for a while before you decided to take up residence on the sofa. You’re content just sitting there cheek to cheek so you can hear each other. You only pull away to take a drink or laugh, but also to watch the love and mirth dance around in his eyes.

You’re washing dishes at the sink. When you look out the window you see Roger being tackled by two little girls. They tumble to the ground but you can see them all laughing. An older blonde boy is smiling at the scene from behind a book. Roger grabs both girls, one under each arm and swings them up.

More and more scenes flashed across your mind almost as fast as you could process them.

Roger is smiling at you again. You’re walking down a busy city street hand in hand. He’s old and gray and you can feel his wrinkles against yours as he swings your joined hands between you. But you can still see his youthfulness shine through in his eyes. You break away and demand a race to the end of the block. Winner gets the last of the ice cream at home. You hear his resounding laugh behind you.

As the last scene fades in front of your eyes, you were slowly brought back to the store. 

The man   Roger   was still on the floor but looking up at you with such wonder in his eyes. And you knew exactly why. 

Because you lived his entire life in a matter of moments. It felt so strange. You lived Roger’s life - in its entirety. Only a few moments passed, but you just spent 20 some odd years getting to know Roger inside and out. It felt like an eternity. You knew why he grew his hair out, how long it took him to pick out his clothes today, what made him come to the store, and most importantly, his view on soulmates. 

Which was apparently that they were a load of bollocks. 

And he didn’t want nor need one. 

So while his face showed wonder, you knew yours was apprehensive. 

You never thought you’d be part of the lucky few that actually finds their supposed soulmate. But you most certainly believed in them. Perhaps because it’s a little girls fantasy to know there is someone out there made just for you. The romantic in you couldn’t help but sigh. 

Roger brought you out of your musings, scrambling off the floor to stand. He was still looking at you strangely, and you weren’t sure what was going through his mind. 

“You… that… did you see that? The memories? And the - the-”

“The memories you’re supposed to make with your soulmate? Yes, of course,” you said. Roger’s breath hitched a little when you said soulmate but otherwise didn’t react. You seemed to be the only calm one in the situation. You were almost worried Roger might have a panic attack. 

“I don’t… that is, I didn’t want…” he stumbled over his words. 

“You don’t want a soulmate. Roger, I know. I did just live your entire life. I can’t say I’m not disappointed though.” It stung. Not only because your soulmate was rejecting you. 

But because you loved him. 

Those who found their soulmates were often featured on the news. People interviewed said they did not fall in love instantly. That it wasn’t like they were hit with Cupid’s arrow and all the sudden loved the person. But rather they saw the person in their memories. They learned all their faults, saw them at their lowest, their highest. They had all the years of their soulmate’s life to fall in love with them. 

And now you could understand why. You watched Roger get pushed down by nearly everyone around him. But you saw him rise above that and become the kind, caring, if a bit cocky and arrogant man he is right now. How could you not love him? 

“No! Love, you’ve got it wrong. I thought that. And I know you just saw a lifetime of that but it’s different! Shit, I’m not explaining myself well I swear I’m more articulate than this.” He said, running a hand through his hair. One of his nervous habits. 

“I know.” You gave him a small smirk, trying to relieve some of his tension and your nerves. 

He got it after a moment and chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

“How about this,” you said, hoping to take the edge off some more, “why don’t I grab the book you came here for. You gather your things and your thoughts. I’ll meet you in the cafe, alright?” 

He hesitated for a moment, looking a little apprehensive before saying, “Alright, love. Just so long as you don’t need to climb that ladder. Don’t think we need you falling again.” 

You blinked and looked over at the ladder with the stack of books. You nearly forgot that happened. Even though you just saw through Roger’s eyes how you lost your balance and he attempted to catch you. Gosh, you were gonna get a headache at this rate.

“Don’t worry. No climbing necessary.” You gave him one last smile before turning around and heading towards the medical books you keep in the back area. 

When you got back, you saw Roger sat at the nearest table, bag thrown over the chair as he stared at his hands. 

“Here you go,” you handed him the book. 

He sighed, “Thanks, love. This is a life saver.”

“I know.” You smirked at him again. 

“Is this going to be a running joke?” He laughed.

“Only until it gets old.”

Silence covered you as you waited. He stared at you, making you squirm a little. 

“I think I’ve got my thoughts, if you’re ready to hear them.” He said quietly. 

You nod and watched as he started drumming his fingers on the table for a moment. 

“You know- knew my thoughts on soulmates. There’s no point reiterating that. But I guess you could say a moment changed that.” He tentatively reached across the table to grab one of your hands. You felt your cheeks heat up a bit as he gripped you tight. “I’ve seen your entire life, (Y/N), and you’ve seen mine.” You jolted a little at hearing your name come from him for the first time. After hearing his voice for years and years, finally having it directed at you seemed so strange. But not unpleasant.

He gave you this brilliant smile, lighting up his entire face. “I guess I finally realized what everyone was always talking about when they met their soulmate. It seems impossible and it goes against everything I believed. But in a moment, I fell in love with you.”

You worried your lip between your teeth as you gazed at him. His eyes were sincere and he seemed to mean it. But you also had memories of such sweet words being whispered to the conquest of the night. 

Roger shifted in his seat beginning to look a little uncomfortable. “Please say something, love. I may have been inside your head for the last 20 odd years, but I’m not in it now.” 

You stared at him for a few moments longer. Just when you thought he might burst, you say, “The… other girls.”

“Would you call me a sap if I said they were just distractions, even if I didn’t know it at the time? I’ve been passing the time, not knowing I’d end up here with you.” His smile was bashful though you could hear no lie behind it. 

You wanted to tease him a little though, “I would call you a sap, in fact. Because you always heckled your friends over believing in soulmates.”

“Aw, c’mon, love! I’m putting myself out here.” He pouted at you. 

You smiled. “And you deserve every second of this, Roger Taylor! But that’s okay, because I love you too.” 

It took him a second, but he finally processes your words. The smile was spreading across his face as his grip on your hand tightened. Suddenly, he was pulling you forward, leaning halfway across the table. 

Your face grew heated again as he was only a few centimeters away from you. His eyes roamed over your cheeks before looking into yours. Just as he leaned in and your began to close your eyes, the door jingled as it opened.

You were about to spring apart, embarrassed to have been caught, but Roger just gives you a smirk and yanks you to him. His lips are warm and soft and you let yourself melt into the kiss.

That is, until someone cleared their throat behind you. You reluctantly pulled away. Roger gave you a half smile and release his hold on you.

The customer that interrupted you was some girl your age looking for a book on medieval paintings. You were quick to find her what she needed, ring her out. All the while you felt Roger’s eyes tracking your movements. Whenever your eyes darted over in his direction, he was still sitting at the table, legs crossed and that beautifully annoying smirk on his face.

When you finally locked the door behind the girl, he gets up as well, meeting you at the door. “As much fun as I think we’d have locked in here by ourselves, I’ve got to get back to my flat and study for my exams. My roommate will have my head if I flake. I should have been back by now.” He looked apologetic, like he didn’t want to leave.

“Brian, right?” you ask. He gave you a nod. “I understand, I have to study as well.” Again, you nearly forgot about your own life with Roger’s still so fresh in your head.

“Look, (Y/N), now that I found you, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He pulled out a slip of paper and hands it to you. “Just in case you forget,” he said, tapping the side of his head. On the paper is his flat number. “Call me when your exams are done, yeah?”

You felt yourself slowly smile as you stuck the slip into your pocket. “Yeah… yeah, okay.”

He kissed you again, just as sweetly as the first time. He left with one last backwards glance towards the shop, a huge smile on his face. You couldn’t help but lift your finger to your lips, reveling in the tingle he left there. Exams couldn’t be over quick enough.

[bookishable]

deathly hallows book moments

warning: this one’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions, read at your own risk.

‘the idea of a teenage dumbledore was simply odd, like trying to imagine a stupid hermione or a friendly blast-ended skrewt.’

“i don’t think you’re a waste of space.”

‘he felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity, clearly much more at ease with displaying his body than they would have been with their own.’

ron: why do i have to clean my room? mrs weasley: !!! WEDDING !!! ron: theyre not getting married in my damn bedroom

“we’re coming with you. that was decided months ago—years, really.”

“if i picked up a sword right now, ron, and ran you through with it, i wouldn’t damage your soul at all.” “which would be a real comfort to me, i’m sure”

harry waking up on his birthday forgetting he was 17

“accio glasses!” although they were only around a foot away, there was something immensely satisfying about seeing them zoom towards him, at least until they poked him in the eye.

ron giving harry a book called twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches for his birthday

“i’ve learned a lot. you’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.”

‘the rest of her speech was lost; harry had got up and hugged her. he tried to put a lot of unsaid things into the hug and perhaps she understood them’

“are you planning to follow a career in magical law, miss granger?” “no i’m not, i’m hoping to do some good in the world!”

“it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it”

hermione: when we were little we heard stories like snow white and cinderella ron: what’s that, an illness? harry: rip me i never got read any stories

“a brutal triple murder by the bridegroom’s mother might put a bit of a damper on the wedding.”

“merlin’s beard, what is xenophilius lovegood wearing? he looks like an omelette.” excuse me why wasn’t auntie muriel like this in the film

“he used to down an entire bottle of firewhisky, then run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his—” “yes, he sounds a real charmer”

harry suggesting that xenophilius lovegood’s deathly hallows necklace is the cross-section of the head of a crumple-horned snorkack

“vot is the point of being an international quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?”

‘harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where ron could stick his wand instead.’

harry reading lily’s letter and noticing that they wrote their g’s the same way as each other, i’m sobbing

‘the letter was an incredible treasure, proof that lily potter had lived, really lived’

KREACHER’S GODDAMN TALE

kreacher hitting mundungus over the head with a saucepan “perhaps just one more, master harry, for luck?”

“if anyone shouldn’t go, it’s harry, he’s got a ten thousand galleon price on his head—” “fine, i’ll stay here, let me know if you ever defeat voldemort, won’t you?”

‘with a twinge of regret that had nothing to do with food, harry imagined the house-elf busying himself over the steak and kidney pie that harry, ron and hermione would never eat.’

‘not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.’

the sign outside the wreckage of the potters’ house, covered with messages left for harry

the child who had the nerve to say “nice costume, mister!” to mr tom riddle the dark lord voldemort, what an icon

“after you left, she cried for a week. probably longer, only she didn’t want me to see. there were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. with you gone… she’s like my sister, i love her like a sister and i reckon she feels the same way about me. it’s always been like that. i thought you knew.”

“you’ve sort of made up for it tonight, getting the sword. finishing off the horcrux. saving my life.” “that makes me sound a lot cooler than i was” “stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was, i’ve been trying to tell you that for years.”

ron single-handedly fighting off five snatchers by telling them he was stan shunpike

“he must’ve known i’d run out on you.” “no, he must’ve known you’d always want to come back.”

“i just think it’s a bit spookier if it’s midnight!” “yeah, because we really need a bit more fear in our lives”

“death’s got an invisibility cloak?” “so he can sneak up on people, sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…”

luna decorating her bedroom ceiling with paintings of her friends (i’m not crying, you are)

POTTERWATCH

“we’re all human, aren’t we? every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”

“i’d tell him we’re all with him in spirit, and i’d tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.”

hagrid throwing a ‘support harry potter’ party

“the fact remains he can move faster than severus snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to”

“no! you can have me, keep me!” this book went from making me smile to shattering my heart in around three pages

‘hermione was screaming again: the sound went through harry like physical pain.’

ron’s ‘passable imitation of wormtail’s wheezy voice’

“so young, to be fighting so many.”

‘ron said, “blimey, a baby!” as if he had never heard of such a thing before.’

‘he seemed set on course to become just as reckless a godfather to teddy lupin as sirius black had been to him.’

“he was never free, never, the night that your brother died he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind. he started screaming, pleading with someone who wasn’t there… it was torture to him, if you’d seen him then, you wouldn’t say he was free.”

“i’m going to keep going until i succeed—or i die. don’t think i don’t know how this might end. i’ve known it for years.”

“i got this one for asking her how much muggle blood she and her brother have got.” “blimey, neville, there’s a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.”

“yeah, well, food’s one of the five exceptions to gamp’s law of elemental transfiguration,” said ron, to general astonishment.

“why would harry potter try to get inside ravenclaw tower? potter belongs in my house!”

‘harry heard a little strain of pride in her voice, and affection for minerva mcgonagall gushed up inside him.’

harry using the cruciatus curse on amycus in front of mcgonagall because “he spat at you”

mcgonagall dueling snape and sending a swarm of daggers at him

“where’s professor snape?” “he has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk” minerva i love you

neville throwing mandrakes over the walls

“is this the moment? OI! there’s a war going on here!” “i know, mate, so it’s now or never, isn’t it?”

‘and percy was shaking his brother, and ron was kneeling beside them, and fred’s eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face.’

‘a herd of galloping desks thundered past, shepherded by a sprinting professor mcgonagall.’

harry stunned the death eater as they passed: malfoy looked around, beaming, for his saviour, and ron punched him from under the cloak. “and that’s the second time we’ve saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!”

trelawney using crystal balls to knock out death eaters ‘with a movement like a tennis serve’

“are you a wizard, or what?”

“you must kill me.” “would you like me to do it now? or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

‘this cold-blooded walk to his own destruction would require a different kind of bravery.’

‘he was tiny in death.’

‘he felt he would have given all the time remaining to him for just one last look at them; but then, would he ever have had the strength to stop looking?’

“we’re all going to keep fighting, harry. you know that?”

“i am sorry too, sorry i will never know him… but he will know why i died and i hope he will understand. i was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life.”

“until the very end”

“this is, as they say, your party.” harry had no idea what this meant; dumbledore was being infuriating.

“it is a curious thing, harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it.”

“do not pity the dead, harry. pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.”

“of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

‘the scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that professor mcgonagall could make such a sound.’

ron breaking voldemort’s silencing charm “he beat you!”

“i’ll join you when hell freezes over, dumbledore’s army!”

harry calling voldemort tom riddle like “yes, i dare”

‘tom riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken’ where please, movies?

‘mcgonagall had replaced the house tables, but nobody was sitting according to house anymore’

peeves’ song voldy’s gone mouldy

‘tears were sliding down from behind the half-moon spectacles into the long silver beard, and the pride and the gratitude emanating from him filled harry with the same balm as phoenix song.’

harry FIXING HIS DAMN WAND

“i’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime.”

“if you’re not in gryffindor, we’ll disinherit you, but no pressure.”

albus complaining that everyone is staring and ron being like “it’s me. i’m extremely famous.”

‘the scar had not pained harry for nineteen years. all was well.’

[katniss-shmeverdeen]

A Trip Like No Other

I wrote a short story and want y’all to enjoy it; This is a long one so grab some popcorn and settle in.

“I can’t believe you’re making me wear this,” Lucas said in disbelief. He looked in the bedroom mirror and analyzed the red and black get up Brantley put him in.

“Oh come on, you’re about to begin the last year of your twenties, you gotta start it off with a bang”

“Yeah and this ain’t it, Brant. If I wanted to be ring leader to a bunch of clowns, I would go back to my last job at Bridgeport. They never could make a decent cappuccino.” He eyed Brantley in the mirror,

“And who are you supposed to be?”

“Uh, Tyler Chatwood” He waited for Lucas to react, but it didn’t click. “The Cubs” Lucas turned to Brantley and shook his head. “Really dude? It’s our home team, how can you not know these guys?

Lucas turned back to the mirror to adjust his top, “Believe it or not, some of us couldn’t care less about sports, especially their names.”

Brantley adjusted himself in the mirror as well, “Alright we’ll work on your sports knowledge later, right now we have to get out there and make sure our friends have the best Halloween yet.”

Lucas turned and grabbed his top hat off the bed post, “Fine, but if any one calls me Hugh Jackman, I’m leaving”

“And go where?” Brantley had to raise his voice because Lucas was already out the door, “You live here!”

“Maybe I’ll find a nice hovel!” He heard him shout from the hallway, making his way toward the party in the living room.

Lucas entered his living room to see about twenty people in all kinds of different costumes and outfits. Some went above and beyond to make sure their costumes were as accurate as possible. Lucas could’ve sworn he saw Heath Ledger because that Joker costume was anything but a joke. Others put in so little effort that he wasn’t sure they even knew what kind of party this was. He saw a man with disheveled hair and paint-splattered jeans wearing a shirt that said ‘This is my party shirt.’

Black and orange string lights were hung around the room, along with fake spider webs, bat and ghost decals on the walls, and spooky music playing in the background.

Brantley did a bang up job getting this all together. He’d always had a knack for this kind of stuff, and went all out to make sure parties were enjoyable for everyone.

Lucas made his way to the punch bowl in the kitchen and poured orange Fanta into a black plastic cup.

Before he could even get a sip of it, a burly man dawning a toga with some stains had an arm around him and was shaking him vigorously, making half of the pop in his cup jump onto the counter.

“Hey hey! There’s the birthday boy!” He shouted unnecessarily, his mouth was a centimeter from Lucas’ ear and the music wasn’t even that loud.

Lucas did his best to smile, but it was hard to do that while holding his breath to avoid breathing in armpit-stench. “Curtis, oh boy, it’s uh, always good to smell- see ya, buddy.”

Curtis let go of him, but stood just as close. Lucas took a step back while rubbing his shoulder and turning his head to get a good breath in.

Curtis was one of those clowns at Bridgeport, always over-friendly and not concerned about doing his job well, just talking with customers and co-workers and not understanding their social queues.

He continued using his loud voice, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my favorite boss, we sure miss you at the ol’ bean shop!”

Lucas tried smiling again, but it was more of a grimace. He had been in this situation too many times and he was trying to think his way out of it. Before, he could use the customers or co-workers as an excuse to leave the conversation, but now there was no backup to fall on.

“I’m sure you do; Listen, with all this party stuff going on and this being the big 2-9, I’ve sort of made myself anxious about all of it and that’s resulted in an upset stomach, so I hope you’ll understand my need to get to the bathroom as soon as I can.” He didn’t give Curtis a chance to respond before he made a mad dash out of the kitchen.

“Well make it quick, we got a lot of catching up to do!” Curtis yelled even louder as he poured himself more drink.

Lucas arrived back in the living room and looked for Brantley. He spotted him in the corner trying to make a home run with Alice from Wonderland. Lucas made his way through the crowd, giving quick smiles to those he made eye-contact with. Brantley was just about to get Alice’s number when Lucas grabbed his arm, “Excuse me, I need to borrow Romeo for a second.” He dragged Brantley down the hallway and stood close enough to him so others wouldn’t hear their conversation. “Please tell me you have a good reason for inviting Curtis.”

Brantley shot back at him, “Don’t blame this on me; I was at Bridgeport inviting people you actually like, and he overheard us talking, therefore inviting himself. I talked to the current manager and she said he wasn’t scheduled to work that day, but I guess he wanted to clock in out of the goodness of his heart.” While Brantley was explaining, Lucas was dragging his hand down his face so hard his skin almost came off. “After you made me wear this costume I didn’t think this night could get much worse, but Curtis and a few others being here proved me wrong.”

“Well if that’s how you feel, I’ll just tear down the decorations and tell everyone to get out since tonight’s so horrible.”

Brantley started to walk away, feeling under appreciated for all his work to get this party together.

Lucas walked after him, “Brant, come one, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…” He took off his top hat and focused on that instead, ”I’m at another dead-end job, bills are piling up, I’ve been single for three years… I don’t know, I guess I’m not as happy with my life as I would’ve hoped so I don’t really see much reason for celebration… and I think the whole Curtis thing was the straw on the camel’s back, ya know?.

And to add salt to the wound, this February was ten years since I lost my dad.”

Brantley never could stay mad very long and was usually the one to ease tension,

“Well I know one of those things you can try to change tonight. A certain red-head in a maid costume’s been eyeing you all night”

That made Lucas perk up very quickly, “Really? Well then what are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started.” He slapped on his top hat and confidently strode back to the party.

After about an hour of mingling, flirting, and avoiding certain people, Brantley decided it was time for Lucas to wish himself into the next chapter of his life. The partygoers still at the house at this point sang while Brantley brought the cake to the kitchen counter where Lucas was sitting on a barstool. Lucas had seen some extravagant cakes before, but this one was in the top five of most gaudy. He tried to be appreciative, but it was hard when his own face was staring back at him. There were also black and orange balloons, black cats, and some kind of goblin creature taking up a third of the cake. He made a mental note to avoid eating from that section. The candles were arranged in a way to avoid the icing creatures, so Lucas would do his best to get them all out in one go. He sat with his eyes closed for a second, trying to think of a good wish. He knew it wasn’t real, but you never know what might happen, especially if you’re Lucas Whittaker. He decided on something that could cover all the bases, and leaned forward as he thought to himself, “I wish for this year to be different.”

Before Lucas opened his eyes again, he heard a stranger’s voice. “Oh it’ll be different alright.”

Lucas’ eyes shot open and saw a man standing where Brantley had been. This guy looked like he lost a fight with Hot Topic’s discount rack, complete with chains and an outdated graphic tee.

Lucas stood up and looked around the room. The music was dead, everyone else was gone, and the house became twenty degrees warmer.

He looked at Mystery Man like he’d just been shot, which he might as well have been. “Where are Brant and the others? What did you do with them? Who are you? Why are you here? How are you here?”

Mystery Man put his hand up to stop Lucas from winning the prize for the most asked questions in a minute. “Hey kid, I only answer so many questions for new clients, you’re pushing the limit.”

“Client? I didn’t sign up for any of this, what do you want?” Lucas asked, his patience running out quickly and his sweat increasing.

“Yes, client. I have someone you want, you have someone I want- well, technically I have both of them, but I can’t retrieve one. Anyway, for us to get those people back, we have to work together, which I guess would make us more like business partners.”

Lucas marched over and grabbed him by the shirt collar, getting close enough to smell last night’s dinner still on his breath. “Listen here, you sorry excuse for an angsty teenager, bring Brantley back or I will personally air-mail you to the foot of Satan’s throne.”

Mystery Man looked at him with so little interest, that if he were any more bored, he’d be dead. “Interesting, considering the man whose throne you plan to send me to is standing right in front of you.”

Lucas released him in a huff, reconsidering everything, while the King of Hades smoothed his newly wrinkled shirt.

Lucas paced by the fridge, trying to digest his current situation. “This is not happening, this isn’t real, I’m dreaming. That’s it, I’m still at the party, passed out on the couch having a drink-induced nightmare. I knew I shouldn’t have had that shot of tequila and hot sauce.” He stopped contemplating long enough to realize he was alone. He cried out to the empty area, “Are you kidding? What do you want from me?!” He looked around, but there was no answer, just Lucas, the kitchen, and more questions than he had at the start of the day.

He exited the kitchen and went to the front door to get his keys from the hook. “Alright, I’ll just have to find Brant myself.” He reached for the knob and started to open the door when he heard the man again,

“I wouldn’t advise that.”

The Lord of the dead appeared on the same couch Lucas had been in earlier that evening, making Lucas jump so far out of his skin, he had to hold himself back from decking Hades all the way to Tartarus.

Hades continued, “Going in blind will get you killed, and you won’t be able to return my son to me.” Lucas looked at him with confusion and disbelief, “I’m sorry, I must’ve blacked out for a second. Going in where? And did you say your son?”

Hades pointed at the stereo, and they were suddenly listening to some old-school ACDC. “Yep, my time on the throne is almost up and since it can only be ruled by my descendants, I figured it’s high time I bring him home to learn the ropes and eventually take his rightful place.”

After a few seconds, Lucas asked, “What does that have to do with me?” Hades stood and got in Lucas’ personal space, “You and my son are a lot closer than you might think, here let me show you.”

Before Lucas could ask what he meant, Hades snapped them to Lucas’ childhood home. They stood in the living room, looking at a family of two snuggled on the couch, with candles lit, orange and black decorations, and only the glow of a scary movie to illuminate their faces.

“Can they see us?” Lucas asked, careful not to make any sudden movements in case they were about to ruin the time-travel continuum. Hades gestured to the living room and said with a sly grin, “Don’t worry, this is only a projection of your past, we’re not here.”

“How? I don’t remember this night at all.” Lucas walked around, inspecting the decorations, furniture, and the father and son. He leaned over and gave them a closer look. “I sure miss you dad, I wish you were still here.” He stood up slowly and walked back to Hades, crossing his arms, “So why are we here? What does this forgotten memory have to do with your son?” Hades glanced at him and looked ahead again, “Three, two, one,” and on the next beat the doorbell rang. Lucas’ dad, Anthony, answered the door, but was quickly drained of any happiness when he saw who it was. Mystery Man himself was standing on the doorstep of Lucas’ home, looking not too different than now. Anthony spoke in a hardened tone, “What are you doing here? I told you never to come back.”

Hades put his hands up in a surrender pose, “I’m just here to see the boy, it’s been another six months already since we got together.”

“Yeah, and I was hoping the last time I saw you would be the last time I saw you. I especially never want you around Lucas ever again, you’ve brought nothing but trouble to him.” Anthony grew angrier and more impatient, but doing his best to speak in hushed tones, “Do you know how much ridicule and humiliation he’s been through with friends and in classes because he tells people you’re his friend? Do you know how many times we’ve had to change schools because the teachers and parents overhear him saying he knows Hades? I need you out of our lives forever. He just turned thirteen and he deserves to live his teenage years, as well as the rest of his life, without you, and he can’t get that with you showing up whenever you feel like it, or at all!”

Hades peaked into the living room and saw Lucas sitting on the couch, elbows deep in popcorn. Looking back to Anthony, he let out a defeated sigh, “Fine, if that’s how you feel, I’ll leave for good.”

“I hope so, that’s what you said last time.” Hades snapped his fingers, but nothing changed. “There, now he won’t remember me at all, if anything, I’m just another one of his scary nightmares.” He started to walk away, but turned back, “Just don’t come crying to me when he wants to know what happ-“ Anthony slammed the door in his face before he could finish his statement. He walked back to the couch and re-joined his son as if nothing happened.

Current Lucas turned to Hades, more confused than before, “That answered nothing, like, this makes less sense than before you showed up today. What does any of this have to do with me, your son, saving Brant-” Hades turned to Lucas, hands behind his back, “Lucas, what has your dad told you about your grandparents?”

“What? How is that relevant?”

Hades walked over to the fireplace and wiped the dust off a picture frame of Lucas and Anthony at his sixth birthday, “Do you have any fond memories, stories, hand-me-downs from either of them?”

Lucas tried to answer best he could, sorting through his memories, but struggling to find any of those things in his mind, “Uh, grandma had my dad when she was twenty five, but grandpa wasn’t really in the picture. Dad said… he said grandpa would drop in every now and then, but really that’s the only memory he has of his dad. Ironically, he said our names are related. I only remember his name also started with an L and I know it wasn’t Lucas, but what is similar to that?” Hades sat next to Anthony and relaxed as he watched Lucas talk this out. “Anytime, champ, we got a schedule to keep.” Lucas glanced up at him with a sarcastic look, “I’m doing my best here, Captain Impatient. So… Lucas…Luscious?…” He chuckled a bit, saying sarcastically, “Lucifer?” He stopped laughing when he saw Hades not joining in the laughter, “No, no, no, no, no this can’t be true. You are not my grandfather, I am not the grandson of the Satan, I’m not related to you!” He stormed out of the house into the front yard. He was pacing again, hands on his head and tear on his cheek. Hades showed up in front of him again, “Welcome to the family, let’s get to work.”

He snapped his fingers again and returned them to empty party house. Lucas was in his usual clothes this time, a pair of regular fit jeans, hiking boots, and a plain t-shirt with a flannel unbuttoned.

Lucas didn’t give a rip about the location change, all he did was sit on a couch in silence and wipe away his tears, but finally said in a whisper, “How do I get Brantley back?” Hades was elated, and clapped his hand on Lucas’ back. “That’s the spirit! So, all you have to do is go into the Underworld, find your dad, and bring him to me in my throne room!”

He had an overly enthusiastic grin on his face, waiting for Lucas’ response. He just stared at Hades with hatred. The grin left Hades faster than he could snap-travel, “Look, I can’t get him out because only mortals and demi-gods, like your father, can be where he is. Plus, if I try to go in there, the souls will attack me like I’m the last zebra in a lion’s den.” Lucas kept his head forward, looking at the hanging bat decorations, “So why does it have to be me?”

“I’m glad you asked! You are my grands-“ Lucas cut him off, “Don’t. Say it.” Hades sighed, “Fine, you’re my relative, so you have immunity to the underworld’s effects. Anyone else would be dead in ten minutes, but you have the ability to walk in and out unnoticed like one of your AA meetings.” Lucas shot him a glare that would make Cerberus run for the hills. “How do you know about that? I’ve never told anyone, not even Brant.” Hades tried in his most innocent voice. “What? I can’t keep up with my favorite grandson just out of pure love?” Lucas kept his eyes on Hades waiting for the truth, “Alright so I might have been keeping tabs so I would know when the right time came to do all this,”

he said, as he gestured about the living room.

Lucas yelled in frustration, “The right time would’ve been never!” He stood up and turned back to address Hades on the couch, “You know what? You’re crazy and I’m getting out of here!” He did just that and slammed the front door, leaving Hades inside.

Lucas was walking away from the house, but he could only get so far without Hades on his heels, but in this case it was his toes. Hades appeared right in front of Lucas mid-stride. He quickly turned and started the down the sidewalk. Hades eyed him and shouted, “When will you learn you can’t escape me? I can go anywhere and anytime, and believe me, I do have time, unlike Brantley.” That was it, no one, not even the Devil himself, could put Lucas’ best friend in imminent danger and not expect repercussions. He turned to look back at Hades with a cautious, but curious look, “What does that mean? What’s happening to him down there?” Hades sauntered forward, eventually meeting Lucas under a street lamp, “Remember when I said other people will die quickly down there? Well, I felt gracious enough to spare his life a bit longer than normal, but he’s still dying nonetheless.” Lucas was very interested in the shoes while Hades explained all this. With a hand on his hip and the other on his forehead trying to keep it from exploding, he said, “Fine. Let’s go down there. Use your magic trick to flash us to… wherever in the hell we’re going.” Hades gave the biggest smirk he could muster, “I thought you’d never ask” and snapped with both hands.

Lucas woke up in a library, at a four-person table, surrounded by books so thick they could’ve been used for bricks. The library was small, max occupancy around 100 people. It was a place Lucas had frequented a lot his senior year, he needed silence to concentrate on polynomials, and his dorm was the last place that would be found. He looked at the seat across the table, watching Brantley feverishly take notes on paper, while studying two encyclopedias. “Pleasant dreams, champ?” Brantley said, while keeping his focus on his work. He was met with a hand on his face, “Brant? Is it really you?” Lucas said in disbelief. Brantley swatted at his hand in frustration, “Yes, it’s really me! What’s going on with you?” Lucas retracted his hand and examined it before looking back at Brantley, confused, “Are you sure we’re not in Hell?” Brantley let out a short breath, “Might as well be with all this work we’re doing.”

“No, this can’t be right, I was just talking with Lucifer, well, Hades an-“ Brantley cut him off in a hushed tone, leaning over the table, “Dude, keep your voice down! Most people aren’t used to hearing stuff like that,” They both gave a smirk to someone walking by, “and quite frankly neither am I, especially since you haven’t mentioned him in two years!” Lucas sat back in his chair, “Wait, you remember me talking about him? Why didn’t you ever mention that to me?” Brantley gave a concerned look, still keeping his voice down, “Because like I said, it’s not a subject matter I’m particularly fond of, let alone something I want to be talking about out loud.” He sat back in his chair, crossing his arms,

“I remember the days after you had one of those nightmares, you came to school so… sullen and beat down, you were a completely different person. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want you becoming that person again, living in that pit. Now shut up and study, you know how hard Mr. Herrington’s tests are for you.” Lucas looked at Brantley as if he had three heads, “Mr Herring- I haven’t had to study in five and a half years, dude. We graduated already.” Brantley looked at him with the same confusion Lucas had, “Okay maybe you shouldn’t study, it’s obviously frying the little brains you do have.”

Lucas looked at him cautiously, slowly standing up, “Rrrright, uh, I’m gonna go, uh, over there.” He pointed and walked toward the non-fiction section hastily, leaving Brantley wondering what was happening to his best friend.

Lucas paced up and down the aisle, muttering to himself, trying to figure out how and why he was reliving this night. Hades had to be messing with him, right? Lucas knew for a fact that he wasn’t a student any more. One can never forget the sweet release into freedom after walking across that stage.

Before he realized it, a librarian walked over to see him not looking at books, “Excuse me, sir, is everything ok over here?” Lucas looked at her startled and tried to muster an answer, “Uh yes, yeah, everything’s fine, great, in fact. I was just, uh, rehearsing my, uh, monologue for an upcoming audition.” He stood as if someone had him at gunpoint, praying the woman would leave quickly. She nodded with concern and swiftly shuffled away. Lucas let out an exasperated sigh and muttered to himself, “And my audition for the insane asylum.” He meandered to a shelf and pulled out ‘What to Do When a Loved One is in Danger.’ He paused for a moment, “Okay that’s eerily specific.”

He opened to a random page; he didn’t expect much, but he didn’t expect to see only one word on the page: ‘HELP.’ His eyes got wide ‘HELP ME,’ his heart beating faster with every flip of a page, ’HELP ME PLEASE’ he had to grab hold of the shelf to keep from falling over, ‘HELP ME PLEASE, LUCAS.’ He threw the book on the ground, shattering this illusion and shifting him to another location.

This time Lucas woke up groggy and sweaty. He knew he wasn’t dreaming because he would never sleep in such a warm environment. All those “nightmares” about Hades had traumatized him from being in hot places, even trips to the beach were pushing it. He looked around, but couldn’t see much. Everything was dark and the room was small. There was a thin layer of gray smog, just enough to irritate his eyes. His wrists were throbbing. He looked up and saw he was chained in manacles hanging from the ceiling. He was in a T-position, just barely able to relieve his wrists of pain if he stood on his toes, but if not, he would slump down and cause them to catch the edge of the shackles.

He could hear labored breathing, which might’ve been his own, but he couldn’t be too sure. He couldn’t be sure of anything lately.

Lucas looked across the room and saw the faint figure of a man about his size. His heart racing, in hopes it was who he thought. “Brant?” He said, but his voice sounded like a lawn mower trying to start up after a long winter in a shed. No reply. Lucas said his name louder, and a little smoother this time. The man spoke, sounding similar to Lucas’ first attempt, “No, no. My, uh,” he cleared his throat, “my name is Anthony.” Lucas could not believe what he was hearing. His thoughts running a marathon now. Was it really his dad? Where’s Brantley? Was this actually another dream? Where’s Hades? How can he get out of here? How will he survive? Lucas paused and tried to collect himself,

“l’m sorry, can you run that by me again?”

“Uh, I said my name is Anthony” Lucas’ eyes got wide with hope “….Dad?” Anthony became more alert and hopeful, “Lucas? Is that really you?” Lucas let out a sigh of relief, “Yeah dad, it’s me, it’s really me and I’m really here…

I think.” Lucas wasn’t too sure, but it sounded like his dad was choking up, and it wasn’t due to the smog, “Oh my boy, you’ve grown up so much. I’m so sorry you had to go on all this time without me.” There was silence for a while before Anthony spoke again. “How long has it been?” Lucas took in a deep breath and let it out just as slowly, “Ten years” Silence again. “Dad?” “It’s been ten for you, but for me it feels like I’ve been down here for a hundred. And the worst part is that I believed Hades’ lies. The night I died, Hades spoke to me in the car. I don’t mean in a philosophical way or in my mind, he literally showed up in my passenger seat and paused time to have a discussion with me.

We both knew that driver wasn’t stopping and he said only one of us could live through that accident. I asked him why we both couldn’t live and that’s when he told me about one of us needing to take over his throne. I didn’t want to come, but he told me it was the only way to ensure your safety and his absence in your life. I had just enough time to look at you sleeping in the back seat before the car got T-boned.” He chuckled a bit, “oh you were exhausted.

It’s hard to be the star of the show, especially when it’s your last one and your crush is your co-star.” Lucas had a hard time not sniffling. That was his favorite show and his favorite high school memory, and he never would’ve guessed it’d also be the night he’d lose his dad forever.

“But, the next thing I knew, I was hanging here and yelling at him to release me. I don’t know why I actually believed him…. I guess I just wanted the best for you.” Lucas’ heart felt like lead. He never would’ve guessed that his dad had sacrificed himself to save him. Dream Brantley was right, the subject matter did make him sullen and dismal. After Lucas let the smog and thin air dry his tears, he said in a low voice, “Why didn’t you tell me about him? Why let me forget?” Anthony used the same soft voice, “Because you’re curious, you’ve always been curious. Remember your fifth grade field trip? You came home and refused to go to sleep until you knew how that animatronic mouse was alive. It ruined you for about three months, we couldn’t even drive past that place without you bursting into tears. So I hope you can understand why I held it from you…. You being who you are, I assume your life has been good, you’ve got great friends, a good job, found a nice girl, a really cool house probably… and a life without him. I wanted to tell you, I really did, I just thought I had more time. Also, I didn’t think he would actually hunt you down.” Lucas did his best to make eye contact with Anthony, “It would’ve been better coming from you than finding out when he dragged my best friend to Hell.”

“Would you have believed me?” His dad said, using an accusatory tone. He waited for a beat, then said lightly, “What does it matter? You would’ve done your research and pieced it together yourself.”

“Dad, that’s not the point, what matters is that you didn’t tell me the truth” Anthony raised his voice, “The truth would’ve wrecked you and sent you into a lifelong tailspin like it did for me!

Before I kicked him out of our lives, he brought nothing but turmoil. He tried so many times to take us on field trips down to his world. He gave you poisonous spiders and snakes as pets before you were even three years old. He tried to set you on fire to build up immunity. I didn’t choose this life, but I refuse to follow in his footsteps as a ruler and father.”

Lucas shot back at him, “Well you might not have much choice!” He waited and let himself calm down “Unless we can figure out a loophole or some other way to get us out of sitting on that skele-throne, we’re stuck down here.”

“Well if you have any bright ideas, let me know, I’ve been trying to figure out how to take him down since the moment I arrived.”

Just then, there came a loud noise that sounded like twenty banshees were sending out a warning signal, which was very likely. Lucas almost near soiled his pants, but he kept it together long enough to ask what was happening. He looked around to see if there was any immediate danger “I’ve been down here a long while and only heard that sound a handful of times. He’s coming.” Lucas shot Anthony a concerned look, “What?” Anthony corrected himself, “Well actually, we’re going to him, which isn’t much better.”

Lucas barely had the chance to ask what he meant before the two of them were standing in the pit of a blacked out colosseum, or rather Lucas was, while his dad was at the right hand side of the Devil himself. He looked down and saw a sword in his hand and a shield in the other, both just as black as the dirt under his feet. He was decked out in full, matte black Roman armor instead of the outfit he came here in. He even had a helmet with a plume. It’s a good thing he also had a cape to complete the look or else he might look stupid.

Lucas looked around and saw he was alone in the pit. The only audience he noticed right away were the human-shaped shadow figures filling the seats in the arena. They weren’t cheering, but they weren’t booing either, actually, they weren’t doing anything at all. He could tell they didn’t have eyes, but that didn’t erase the feeling of being under a microscope. Lucas finally spotted Hades. He was sitting in the first tier of seats, the podium, reserved for senators and royalty. Lucas was being cynical before about the skele-throne, but that’s exactly what was under Hades’ rump, a collection of black and gray skulls, fingers, feet, and every bone in between, sloppily constructed to resemble a chair of sorts. Lucas thought he might be hallucinating, but he could swear the bones were reaching out and crying for help. Mist curled up around each movement of a hand or call of the mouth, but he assumed it was Hades’ sheer will-power that kept those bones in place.

Anthony was still in shackles, but this time they were rooted in the floor and the cuffs were held together by a short chain. He was standing next to Hades, just over his right shoulder. He was out of Hades’ line of sight, but still close enough that Hades could grab at him if the need arose.

Hades sat up properly and addressed Lucas, as if just noticing his presence in the underworld,

“Welcome, my grandson! I’m surprised it took you this long to wake up!” Lucas looked at him, then at the colosseum, “Where am I?” then noticed his dad, and pointed with his sword, “What’s he doing up there?” then it dawned on him Brantley wasn’t anywhere to be found and started looking frantically around him, then back at Hades, “and where’s Brant?”

Hades muttered so only he and Anthony could hear, “Jeez kid you really do ask too many questions,” he cleared his throat and spoke so Lucas could hear, “You mean you don’t see him standing right next to you?”

Lucas turned so quick he almost got whiplash, his best friend standing next to him in the same body of armor as he. Lucas dropped his weapons and gave him a bear hug, letting out a sigh of relief and disbelief, “Oh my gods, I thought I lost you, man! I got your message in the library, I’m so glad you reached out.” Brantley did his best to return the hug, but his confusion was holding him back. “What? What message? What library?” Lucas quickly released from the hug and returned the level of confusion, “You-you didn’t send me a message crying out for help?”

“No; the last thing I remember is you about to blow out your candles and the next thing I know I’m down here ready to perform a grade-school play of ‘300’,” Brantley said, as he examined his garb and location, “and where is ‘here’ exactly?” He gave Lucas a questioning look. Lucas turned back to Hades, who was wearing the same smirk as when he sent Lucas down here. Hades sat forward and leaned his elbow on his knees, “You see, champ, my little magic trick from earlier sent Brantley to this exact moment.” Lucas turned back to Brantley and whispered in disbelief to himself, “So you were never in danger, and if you didn’t send the message, who…” his eyes got wide and he turned to look at Anthony, “Dad?” With misty eyes, Anthony nodded, assuring Lucas of his hunch. Anthony knew it was a long-shot to reach out for any mortal soul, but he was desperate and knew that Lucas would always be there for him, even in the after-life.

Lucas turned his attention to Hades and shouted, “So you lied to me? Brant was never in danger?” Hades stood and shouted so the shadow figures could also hear, “Of course I lied! I’m the inventor of lies!. Lies that life will be full of rainbows and cotton candy. Lies that dads won’t keep secrets from their kids. Lies that life has a good ending.” his voice became calm again, “And by the way, I’ll always be king down here; I would never even dream of letting anyone else take over, especially my own kin.”

He sat back down, examining the dirt under his nails and propping his feet up on the edge of railing, “Though, I did tell the truth about one thing, you really are my grandson.” Lucas heard a human-sized thud next to him and turned to see Brantley had passed out, hopefully due to shock of that information and not a heat stroke. He bent down to wake him up, his patience paper thin by now, “Come on, Brant, wake up, we don’t have time for this.” He tried shaking him, but after that didn’t work he went with a hardy smack across the face, waking up Brantley and immediately sitting him up-right. He asked in a mumble, “What happened? Whose grandson?” Lucas gave him a quick response, “I’ll explain later, get up!”

He turned to address the King of Lies, “So why do all this? Why drag us all down here?” Hades made eye contact with him, which was the first time Lucas was truly terrified of him. “Because you and this degenerate next to me are the saddest excuses for humans I have ever seen, and I can’t let that continue, especially if you’re related to someone like me.” He turned toward Brantley now, “as for you, I needed incentive for Lucas, and you simply chose the wrong person to hang around all those years ago, so really it’s your own fault you’re down here.” Brantley had to grab Lucas to hold him back. Hades was back on his throne with his feet propped up on the railing, “And that is why you, dear grandson, are going to fight him,” he said, “which shouldn’t be too hard, though, since his body isn’t equipped to survive down here.” Anthony tried to reach for Hades, but his chains just shook a bit.

“You’ll fight to first blood- no that’s too easy, to the death! The winner will be able to roam the underworld as much as you want, but the loser will be my lackey for the rest of time, that is, after you’ve had time to regenerate into your ghostly form. So let’s get this show on the road.”                                                   Lucas and Brantley looked at each other with facial expressions as if to say, ‘is this really happening?’ Brantley spoke up this time, “You just admitted to being the biggest liar in history, how are we supposed to trust your word on that?”

“I’m just here for a good show, I don’t care who lives or dies. Plus I have some lunch-deprived Hellhounds who can join if you don’t start soon.”

They turned to each other and started discussing how to get out of this, speaking in whispers. “Alright what do we do?” Lucas asked. “I don’t know! You’re the one with semi-godly powers!” “Yeah, not semi-godly knowledge!” “Well, can’t your dad do something? He’s got even more power than you, right?” “I sure hope so, otherwise we’re dead” “Don’t remind me” “Well we gotta do something, neither of us can stay here, and I’m sure not leaving my dad behind.”

Hades was on the verge of losing his patience, not that he had much to start with anyway. “Today, princess!” No response from either of them. “Alright, time for the Hellhounds then.”

That got their attention. Hades was about to send them in, but Lucas turned toward him, putting his hands up, “No, no! We’re uh, we’re…” Brantley interjected, “We’re trying to decide who would be a better servant for you, sir, ya know, we want to leave you with the best!” Which wasn’t entirely false, they really were trying to decide who should stay, both of them too loyal to let the other die.

Hades relaxed, happy that they were finally coming to terms with their situation, “Now that’s what I like to hear.”

Brantley spoke in a strangled whisper, “Okay now we really have to think of a plan” Brantley could see the wheels turning in Lucas’ head, “What are you thinking?” Lucas answered, a little too excited, “Do you remember our high school production of Les Misérables?” “Of course, I was forced to do that instead of be in detention all semester.” Brantley said, wondering how this pertains to anything. “Well don’t be too sore about it, that’s how we met,” Lucas mentioned. Brantley shook his head in agreement, “Anyway, do you remember the dance-y fight scene between those two guys?” Brantley was even more confused and concerned than before, “Dude, that was like, twelve years ago, of course not!” Lucas stared at him, waiting for a different answer, knowing Brantley was not good at bluffing. “….Yeah I remember.” “Let’s use that to at least buy us some time and hopefully my dad will think of something.” Brantley let out an exasperated sigh, “Let’s give it a shot.” With that, the two started to recall the fight sequence, a little rocky to start, but eventually it came back to them. They knew they would have to make it bigger and better for Hades, so they were overly dramatic and yelling insults that would’ve gotten them kicked out of Radio City. At some point, Brantley even managed to draw blood from Lucas. Lucas was more impressed about it than anything, considering this is only the second time Brantley has ever wielded a sword, let alone a sharp object.

Back at the podium, Anthony was trying to conjure up a plan and quietly get out of his restraints, but it was useless. In defeat, Anthony looked to the floor and he noticed there were metatarsal bones, phalanges, metacarpals, and a bunch of other bones that he assumed are in hands and feet, forming from mist on the floor and falling from the chair. They were probably here because Hades was putting more attention into the fight than keeping his seat in tact.

Whatever the reason, it gave Anthony an idea. It was a long shot, but he had to try.

Lucas had just executed some brilliant improv by drop kicking Brantley, too bad he moved out of the way, sending Lucas air born and landing on his back so hard his chiropractor could feel it. Sadly, it was all for nothing because at that very moment they heard a howl coming from the podium, not one like a dog or wolf, more like someone had shoved their hand in a running blender. Lucas was never more concerned for someone’s life than right now. The guys ran and jumped over the railing to find Anthony standing over Hades. The throne that had been there before was gone, well not exactly gone, just being used for a different purpose. All the bones that made up the throne were now evenly distributed on top of Hades body, holding him down and clamping his mouth shut. About five Hellhounds were charging toward all of them, but Anthony spoke right before they hit them head on, “διαμονή,” and they stopped in their tracks, giving head turns of confusion.

Anthony looked down at Hades with relieve, “Ya know dad, this is the first time I’m actually happy to have some of your power.” Lucas looked at his dad in awe, “Dad, how did you do that?” “For the Hellhounds, you tend to pick up a few things after being down here for so long, and that includes command words. As for the skeletons, I knew I had some of his power, and I assumed that included control over the dead. So I had the falling remnants of hands get me out of that bear trap, and while his Royal Highness was distracted by you two ballerinas, I decided to literally take a stab in the dark, and reached around and used the longest bone I could find to take him down.”

Brantley bent down to Hades side, “Huh, very intuitive.” He tried to grab the bone, but his hand went right through it. “I knew it wouldn’t kill him,” Anthony mentioned, “but I hoped it would at least buy us some time or distract him long enough to get us out of dodge.”

The three of them were looking down at Hades, he was glaring at them, writhing, and trying his best to wiggle out of his restraints. The bones were obeying well enough before with just Anthony in control, but now that Lucas was putting his power into it as well, there was very little chance Hades would get out of that on his own. Hades tried to speak through the hands covering his mouth, but it just came out as one long muffled sound.

Lucas bent down to hover above Hades. The bone Anthony had used to stab Hades was still in his chest, and Lucas pushed it in further, “I bet you’re wondering why we’re doing this. Well, as I seem to recall, you don’t care who lives or dies, it’s just a good show you want.” Hades looked at his hounds, trying to communicate what to do next, but they just stood there, one even came over and licked his face, but the bones stayed in where they were.

Lucas looked his grandfather dead in the eyes, while still hunched down, with Anthony and Brantley standing behind, “Thanks for the good show, champ.”

Anthony shouted while keeping eye contact with his dad, “επίθεση.”                All five hounds pounced on Hades, and it wasn’t to cuddle up with him, while Anthony and Lucas snapped with both hands, sending all three of them topside.

[dreamgirlbreezy]

CHAPTER 20

DONNIE

 I don’t know how I feel I think she used me I didn’t come her excepting sex it’s clear she did cause she came her with nothing on underneath her dress so like a fool I fell for it I need to get home and shower I can't believe I did that.

“Get out my car”

“Donnie please we just”

“I know what we just did and I want you out my car this was your plan all along”

“Donnie don’t shut me out please”

“I want you out my motherfucking car Raquel” she opened the door and got out but had the door open looking at me.

“Donnie please don’t be angry with me I thought if we made love again you would see that we can work things out that’s all”

“Close my door and walk away I’m done with you” she closed the door as I started up the car and backing up then driving off.

**2 WEEKS LATER**

I was back at home and I think Rocky finally got the picture cause each day she calls less and less soon she will stop calling all together. She came here a few times but I didn’t speak to her either my mom or my Aunt spoke with her, I told them both if she comes by to tell her I’m busy, it was my last morning here I was all moved into my new place right now I was standing at the door of my mom’s house she was hugging me.

“You promise you will still come by”

“Yes mama every Sunday for dinner I promise” I kissed her forehead and hugged her again. “You’ll have to come to my house to okay”

“Okay bye angel”

“See ya ma” I walked away from her and got in my car starting it up and I back out and was off to my house. Once I got to my home I was happy only a few friends knew where my house was and that’s the way I like it.

Once I parked in the drive way I went right in happy to be home I kicked off my shoes at the door and went to the livingroom turning on the TV I sat there ready to relax when my phone started ringing I was not in the mood for it today I had finals coming up and I wanted to relax before I started studying .

“Hello”

Ph) “Hi”

“Hey what’s up?”

Ph) “Umm I was calling checking on you seeing how you were doing?”

“I’m good how about you?”

Ph) “I’m ok could be better I was just calling to check on you with finals around the corner I know how stress you get I was just checking in on you”

“Well thanks for checking on me but I’m fine about to start studying as soon as I get off the phone with you”

Ph) “Oh okay that’s good ummm a few of us are getting together and doing a study session you’re more than welcome to join us if you like”

“Thanks I like to study alone look I gotta go I'll see you around”

Ph) “Okay bye”

“Bye”

Ph) “I miss you and I love you”

“Bye Raquel” I hung up getting up I went and got my book bag and went right to it started studying I wanted to pass my finals and I didn’t wanna be bothered with anyone right now I like to study alone no one to bother me or to get me sidetrack.

After I was done with studying I was sitting outside thinking, thinking about everything my whole life my daughter Raquel school just everything what I wanted to do what I wasn’t going to do shit like that.

I heard the doorbell and I went walking around the front to see who it was I could see them but they couldn’t see me, I looked and saw it was Tony, Ken , Mario and my cousins Maurice and Lo.

“Yo over here” they looked my way and smiled coming towards me.

“What’s up nigga how you doing?” Tony asked as I dapped them all and we went inside.

“Why you not answering the door why you sneaking on the side like a robber?” Maurice asked

“I was already outside when yall rang the bell”

“Oh” Lo said walking pass me. We all went to the livingroom and started playing video games.

“Oh your girl came by the studio today looking for you”

“My girl?”

“Don’t play dumb you know who”

“Oh yea”

“Yea she was looking for you, I told her you was there earlier and she wanted to lay down a track to tell you how she feels and I let her told her I would give it to you but she was embarrassed about it and didn’t like it so she wrote it down” Tony said handing me a letter I just looked at it. “Take it” I took it and wasn’t plan on reading it.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Read it for real for real read it she worked hard on it”

“Okay I'll read it” I got up and left the livingroom going into the kitchen where I opened up the letter.

‘Dear Adonis

Let me start this letter by saying I never, ever, ever meant to hurt your feelings. It's the last thing I would ever want to do.

If you don't believe anything else, please know that. Please know that I am sorry beyond any of the words I put to paper.

Hurting someone you love and knowing that you are the one that caused the pain is more than I can bare. You are my best friend, my boyfriend, and the light of my life.

Whenever we were apart and I used to think about you, a smile would come to my face.

Whenever I was nervous or anxious, I would think about you, smile, and calm down immediately.

You were and are my 'happy place'. But now when I think of you, all I see is the hurt in your face. And, the smile that used to come so naturally and automatically to me, is now replaced with a frown.

I never realized the implications of my behavior and words and the effect they would have on you. I've always been casual with words, never giving a thought to how they could be weaponized, how piercing they could be, and how hurtful they are.

I never viewed the lies I told as lying. Instead, I thought of them as exaggerations, saying things to prevent hurting someone's feelings, that none of it really mattered.

I never thought about how the snide remarks I make sometimes are passive aggressive behavior.

I never saw the abuse in my words. The abuse and disrespect I showed you by lying to you.

I now know that I've been doing this all my life and it's time for me to take responsibility for my actions and words. It's time for me to grow up. It's time for me to honor my life, family, friends and the lives of everyone around me.

I have to admit that these are pretty big revelations to me. This is a life changing moment.

What it took to get me here was that fleeting moment when I saw the deep, honest, and profound hurt in your eyes.

I looked into your eyes and saw that I hurt your soul.

It crushed me. The honesty of it all shocked me. The pureness of the moment took my breath away and all of my words and actions towards you came rushing through my mind.

You've told me before how I've hurt your feelings, I'd listen, apologize and we would move on. But I never really understood what it meant.

I viewed it as casually as my words. I understood it in my mind but not emotionally.

Now I do.

Your eyes made it clear to me. I have no excuses, only shame for hurting you.

So here I stand in front of you, asking for your forgiveness and promising you that the lies and hurtful behavior is over. I promise you that it will never happen again.

I hope you'll continue to have faith in me and let me prove myself to you so that one day in the future when I think of you, that smile returns to my face.

 Love,

Raquel’

“Hey Don I got a favor to ask” Maurice said

“Okay” I put the letter in a draw and looked at him.

“There’s this girl right--” Maurice said

“Nope”

“Damn let me finish saying what I was going to say before you say no” Maurice said

“Okay what?”

“There’s this girl I been trying to get with she won’t hang out with me alone unless her 2 friends come along so we going out to eat tonight and well I need another body there Tony already said he’ll come I need you to come too” Maurice said

“Nope I’m not doing it”

“Come I didn’t say you had to like her just be there so I get with this bitch come on I’ve done it for you and now you gotta do it for me” Maurice said

“Really you doing that you pulling that card?”

“Yup so you so we leaving in a hour” Maurice said

“Damn man I don’t have time for no females”

“Yea you do just not the one you want” Maurice said I gave him the finger as he laughed, I left the kitchen going back in to the livingroom where I played games until it was time for us to go, everyone left I drove myself so that way I can leave if I wanted to and not be stuck.

We went to dinner I was paired up with a girl name Stacey she was fine I won’t lie she didn’t talk a lot tho her friends did most of the talking to us she would add in a few things, well maybe because I didn’t do much talking either I was just here to fill a spot.

“Are yall brothers?” Stacey asked

“No cousins”

“Oh how, never mind” Stacey smiled to herself.

“You was going to ask how long we been cousins huh?” she giggled and nodded I laughed at her. “Since birth” I gave her a wink and she blushed.

“I was thinking we should go to club Ensure after we leave here” Maurice said

“I’m down”

“Yea sounds good” Stacey said as the other agreed, once we was done here we went right to the club and was in the VIP section having a good time Stacey was all on me she was fine so I wasn’t going to stop her. But while I was having a good time I felt like someone was watching me not like normal looking but like watching me watching me I started to look around the club and my eyes landed on Lisa she was here in the club too great!!

[cassiefanfic]

Stay With Me Part Two: Found

Part: 2 of 4

Fandom: Marvel/ Avengers

Character/Ship: Loki x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Mr. and Mrs. Bradley (Original Characters), Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Pregnancy, mentions of violence

Writer: Cassie

Words: 3954

Requested by: Anon on @thefandomimagine

Summary: After a couple of months of being in New York and living with the Bradleys, coming to terms with being powerless and a single mother-to-be, Y/N is slowly learning to adapt to Midgardian life. While working one day, Steve Rogers comes to her checkout counter, with his pearly white smile and a whole new world for Y/N to learn.

[Based off of:] http://thefandomimagine.tumblr.com/post/99044716364/submitted-by-anonymous

Author’s Note: This takes place a month after the Battle of New York.

This was beta’ed by @kittenofdoomage who is amazing and I adore her so much. Go check her out!!!

Series Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

I was not Y/N of Asgard anymore. I was Y/N Bradley of New York State. After two months, we got me new clothes, a doctor to help with my child and a job at a library in New York City. As well as a thing called a car and a piece of plastic called a drivers license. It was a different culture completely. So primitive, so loud, so bright and flashy. I adapted to their technology, getting an iPhone 5 and a laptop, both by a company called Apple.

I learned much of their culture, reading their books, wearing their clothes, watching the moving pictures they called movies or television. Because of my job, I had access to much of their history, a lot about the great battles fought, destruction brought among people mindlessly fighting over similar causes. I learned of the losses and that which we have gained. It was all so… primitive yet fascinating.

Another day I awoke, got dressed in the handmade clothes Mrs. Bradley made for me and went down for breakfast. At my spot was a bowl of blueberry banana oatmeal and a glass of milk. Strange enough, the oatmeal was one of the few things the baby enjoyed and didn’t make me throw back up.

“How do grilled cheese and tomato soup sound Y/N?” Mr. Bradley asked as he tore up his toast into easier bites.

“That would be lovely for lunch! That jelly substance as well please?”

“Jello? I’m glad you like that.” Mrs. Bradley replied gleefully. “I’ll drop it off around 11:30 okay?”

“Yes. But not downtown. We finally have the old location open again.” I reminded before taking another bite of oatmeal.

About a month ago, my fellow librarians and patrons found ourselves trapped inside the library as someone and an army of Chitauri destroyed New York City. After a couple of hours, we were finally rescued by two men, who were called Iron Man and Captain America. I told little to the emergency responders, allowing them to give me an emergency ultrasound to check on my baby, immediately taking the opportunity to see the life growing in me on a tiny black and white screen.

It was small, while I was still only a couple months along. This must’ve been the happiest I was. Having that little grape-sized image in front of me completed me, settled my fear. I couldn’t think about Loki or the Chitauri attack. I could only think of the baby.

I finished eating before getting my bag and hurrying out to my car, giving quick hugs on my way out. Settling in and buckling up, the radio gave me more insight into the New York City recovery, construction, hospitalized patients being let out after their care was completed. I quickly interrupted the monotone voices with the Top 20 popular songs that these Midguardians seemed to enjoy. That’s one thing I never seemed to quite grasp. The music of this planet. Each song on Asgard had its specific purpose, but here, they all had hidden meanings. They were about love but about being alone. They were about anger but also about lust. It was a concept that confused me every day. But it was one out of the three stations I could get on the car radio, so I made do.

The grape had grown to the size of a lime, and the lime kept making me puke and take naps in the back of the check out counter. I somehow distracted myself with the small plastic bag of saltine crackers I hid in my large sweater pocket, the absurdly large water bottle with the label Nalgene I had decorated with a few little things called stickers by my side and the book I kept close, reading it whenever I wasn’t checking out books to various patrons. It was called The Great Gatsby, and it was one of the simpler books I had read from this realm. I was slowly making my way through the whole library through not only Mr. and Mrs. Bradley’s recommendations but from the other librarians, learning the proper phrasing of words on Earth, along with learning the social behaviors of the past and present.

As I read, the world around me escaped, and I focused intensely on the glitz and glamor of the 1920s. I remembered watching a documentary on the 1920s, so I could somewhat visualize it, which was taking up at least half my brain where the words weren't flowing.

"That's a good book." A voice spoke, pulling me from my trance and my focus to the gentleman standing at the counter with four books in his hand. His kind smile radiated with his bright blue eyes. His hair was like honey, glistening in the light from the window. After I stood to help him, I noticed how tall he was as well.

"Excuse me?"

"That book. It's a really good book, didn't care for the films though." He repeated, a soft smile across his face as I bookmarked my page and set the book aside.

"I just started it today. It's going by quite fast," I responded, smiling lightly as he handed me his library card and the small stack of books. I scanned the card and began to check out books for him as he nodded.

"I must've read it 20 times. When you're done with that you should read the Wizard of Oz or maybe ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’." I nodded quickly, pulling out my small notebook and opening it to the book section, where there were many recommendations scribbled down.

"I already read Wizard of Oz but that other one I'll get to next," I whispered as I scribbled it down.

"Looks like you have quite a few people who want you to read things."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am just catching up. It's been a while since I've been able to sit down and read."

He smiled and touched his book stack. "Yeah, I'm in that same spot. Maybe we'll have to swap recommendations. Like over coffee or something?"

I know this line, or a line similar to this. He was courting me, or as the Midguardians called it, asking me out.

"You barely know me. You don't know my name-"

"Y/N. I've seen you around here and you uh- you have a name tag. Look, I don’t mean any harm. You seem like a nice girl."

"Well then..." I looked at the screen, reading his name before looking up at him, "Steve Rogers. When were you planning this coffee-or-something date?"

"Well, my friend knows this great restaurant a block or two down. Maybe we can go there tonight, or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow would be nice. What time?" I questioned, pulling out a small piece of paper.

"How about 7? Where should I pick you up?"

"I live about 40 minutes out of Manhattan, near New Rochelle. So maybe I should meet you here-"

"It would be a pleasure to come to pick you up. I don't mind at all." He affirmed. I smiled lightly and look down.

"It's just- I live with my parents-"

"And it would be an honor to meet them. Give me your address and I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7. Alright?" He reassured, leaning forward on the counter a bit.

I blushed and quickly wrote down the farm address on a piece of paper for him, along with my phone number and my name. Handing him his receipt and the books, along with the paper, I smiled lightly and questioned, "What kind of this restaurant is this exactly?"

"Fancy-ish. Just wear a dress and bring that beautiful smile okay?" He answered, putting his books in his reusable bag and pocketing the pieces of paper in his jacket pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow night." He smiled lightly and walked out, leaving me with a smile of joy across my face.

The next day, Janice convinced my boss to let me off work three hours early as she covered my shift, joy radiating to her bones that I was finally getting my head out of the books and finding my true ways around New York.

“How long until you will tell him?” She inquired as we checked in books, making sure they weren’t damaged before putting them on the reshelving cart.

“I don’t know. I’m just beginning to show a bit but I don’t know. When should I tell him?”

“After a couple of dates. You don’t want to overwhelm him. If you feel like you can trust him, go ahead. It’s up to you.” She explained, grabbing the last book from my hand with a smile. “Now you go ahead and get ready for tonight. I don’t want you to get caught up in rush hour traffic honey.” She hugged me tightly before handing me my bag, water bottle and a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird before sending me on my way to the parking garage.

I was so excited, my hands trembling in joy as I drove home, and for the first time, I found myself singing along to the music on the radio, not minding if I was off key. After I made my way into the farmhouse, I took a nice hot shower, making sure to use the nicest smelling soap I had, and that my hair was extra clean. Before I even had the chance to grab the yellow dress I had been thinking of all day, Mrs. Bradley came into my room and gave me a light blue wrap dress.

“This is amazing. Did you-”

“I got to work on it the second you finished dinner yesterday. I already had a pattern I was going to use and you made it easy when I was wondering which color to make it. Light blue, like the sky, just like his eyes are supposed to be.” She laid it on the bed before helping me get my necklace on. The necklace I still wore to remind me of Loki, that I am bearing his child, and that I will never see him again.

I smiled sadly and dried my hair before getting into the dress. After brushing my hair and putting on some light makeup, I got on some ballet flats and got a small clutch, making sure my medication for the evening, my phone, and I.D. were inside as a heavy knock sounded from downstairs. I gasped and hurried down,

“You look cold, here,” Steve said as he took off his jacket. It took me a second to realize that in my excitement earlier, I forgot to grab a coat. Steve carefully helped me slip my arms in, wrapping it close to my trembling body with a soft smile. “There you go.”

“Thank you, Steve. Thank you.” I whispered as I held the edges. After dinner, he had offered to walk with me to the ice cream shop for dessert, which I immediately agreed to. I hadn’t ever seen New York at night like this. The only time I did was after the library was destroyed and I was waiting with emergency services until the Bradley’s came to get me.

Steve smiled kindly and nodded, leading me down the sidewalk. I was so caught up in the lights that I didn’t mind his arm around my waist, making sure I was alright. After three blocks I looked over at him and smiled.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” He asked, his face showing his amusement with his wide smile and focused eyes.

“I haven’t been out this late since-” I gulped and looked down. “Since the attack. This is my second time out this late.” My hand shook as I grabbed a bench and sat down. Steve joined me and smiled softly as he listened. “It was about 20 of us trapped in the library. We didn’t want to go outside because we were afraid of what would happen if we did. These two men, everyone called them Iron Man and Captain America, they saved us. They were part of the people called the Avengers. They stopped the attack…. And got us out of there.” I looked up at Steve. “The recovery team took care of me until my parents came and got me. I had to get a new car… mine was destroyed in the attack. I just… I wish I could’ve thanked them.” I looked back down before saying, “I’m not hungry for ice cream anymore.”

Steve nodded. “Okay. Let’s go to the car and I can drive you home.” He got up and held out his hand, which I gently took as I stood. I kept his hand in mine as we walked to the parking garage where he parked. As we got to the car and Steve dug through his pockets for the keys, we heard a click, one that I only heard in films. Steve and I turned around to find three guns pointed at us, two at him, one at me. I’ve seen this in movies, like in Superman from 1978 or in that movie Clueless. I immediately clutched Steve’s arm, the fear of my mortality and lack of Asgardian powers making my hands tremble.

“Give us your wallets. Now.” One of the men who had his gun pointed at Steve demanded.

“I-I don’t have one-”

“Shut it you dumb slut! Both of you! Wallets!” The one pointing his gun at me yelled, causing me to grip onto Steve’s arm tightly. I looked up at Steve to find him standing there with a very displeased look across his face.

“Son, I advise you apologize to her.”

“Steve just give them your wallet okay?” I whispered. He shook his head and stood in front of me.

“What tough guy? You trying to be scary and tough in front of the slut huh?” The other mugger asked as he clicked a bullet into place. I tried to reach for Steve to stop him, but the one that had his gun at me aimed it for my head, causing me to freeze and stare.

“I said to apologize to her. Now.” Steve demanded as his fists clenched.

“The slut doesn’t need an apology-” Steve quickly swung his fist, knocking out the man who had his gun at me immediately.

One of the others grabbed Steve and punched him as the other one grabbed me and pressed me against the car, keeping the gun pointed at my chin as he grabbed Steve’s jacket, trying to feel through his pockets for the wallet. He finally grabbed it, laughing as he threw me to the ground.

I tried to catch myself, but I felt the impact on my head, causing me to wince in pain and grip my head tightly. I slowly looked up to Steve fighting the one that just had the gun pointed at me. I looked to see the other two unconscious on the ground as Steve grabbed the man and punched him hard, knocking him out. He retrieved his wallet and hurried to my side, checking my head as I looked up at him with blurred vision.

“S-Steve- What has gotten into you?” I shakily asked as he pocketed my phone and his wallet. He sighed and picked me up, setting me in the passenger seat of the car carefully and buckling me up.

“I got a friend that can patch you up. Just calm down and I’ll explain soon.” He said before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. He began to drive through the city, gripping the steering wheel tightly in anger. I weakly reached over, not caring how much I wanted to sleep, or how much my head hurt, and touched his arm, causing him to relax a little. I gave him a soft smiled before my eyes closed, allowing the darkness to pull me away.

About two hours later, I woke up to the feeling of warmth surrounding me and an unfamiliar feeling on my head. Not pain, but it was comfortable. I slowly opened my eyes as different voices fill my ears.

“Thank you, Bruce. I didn’t know who to turn to and the hospital didn’t feel like a right choice-”

“It’s okay Steve. Are you ready for when she wakes up though? I’m sure if she wakes up here, she will have a few questions.”

“I know. I know. I’ll figure it out. When will everyone else be back?”

“Clint and Nat will be back soon, Tony probably is on his way up from his lab.”

“And Thor?”

“He’s just in his room- Look who’s awake?”

Looking up as my vision adjusted, Steve was across the room with a slightly shorter man who had brown hair, some glasses, and a suit on. Steve crossed the room quickly to be at my side.

“Steve I-”

“How are you feeling? Do you need water?”

“Steve, what happened back there? And who is this? Where am I?” I demanded as I began to sit up.

Steve placed a hand on my shoulder and pressed gently, causing me to lay back down before letting out a soft sigh. “You’re at the Avengers Tower. This is my friend Bruce. You hit your head back at the parking garage and I needed to make sure you were okay. Would you like some water?’

I nodded slowly and Bruce walked over with a nice cold cup of water, smiling softly. After drinking some I looked around before looking up at Steve. “Wait, why are we in the Avengers Tower?”

“Y/N I-”

“I heard we had a guest!” A loud voice erupted from the elevator, causing us all to look over. I knew that face, of course, I had to know it. The man walked over and I couldn’t stop my own words from falling out of my mouth.

“You’re Tony Stark.”

“Yes, I am! Capsicle, this is not what I expected but you do have good taste-”

“Capsicle? Steve, what is he talking about?” I interrupted, looking at him with shock.

Steve moved a bit closer and sighed. “Remember the library? Where those two men saved you?” I nodded slowly, allowing him to continue. “Tony is Iron Man, Bruce is the Hulk, and I’m-”

“You’re Captain America,” I whispered, sitting up a bit. This time he didn't stop me, he was too busy looking down ashamed to do that. I sighed softly and hugged him close, bringing shock to not only him, but the other two. “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear. I then shakily stood and hugged Tony before sitting.

“I’ll take that as you’re not mad?” Steve asked, shock drawn across his face. I shook my head and smiled softly.

“First you saved my life, and then took me on one of the best dates I’ve had in a long time. Why would I be mad Steve?” I replied, holding his hand as I rested back. “So… Captain America?”

Steve smiled and nodded. “Yep. With the shield and everything.”

“That makes you about 100 years old.” I laughed softly. “I can say, for an old man you’re quite attractive.” I continued.

Right as Steve was about to answer, the elevator opened again and a loud voice erupted. “100 is nothing. Try 1000- Y/N?”

I sat up quickly as the figure entered the room and stared at me. I slowly began to stand as the familiarity hit me. “Thor?”

“Lady Y/N.” He replied, a wide smile forming across his face. I ran across the room quickly, hugging him as tight as I could. He picked me up and spun me around, before holding me close. He smelled of Asgard, the smells I longed, the smells I missed. “We’ve all been wondering where you’ve been! It’s been quite a while!”

Tony stepped forward, Steve not too far behind as the questions began to flow.

“How do you and Sparkles know each other?”

“Since when did you know him?”

Thor and I ignored them, completely invested in each other. He finally set me down on my own two feet, but kept a grip on my hips, as I kept a grip on his arms.

“Odin banished me. I thought I’d never see you or Loki again.”

“I know why. Heimdall told me. I deeply apologize for what has happened.”

I shrugged, looking down before asking. “How is he?”

“He was the one that attacked New York. He’s locked up now in an Asgardian prison. But most importantly, he is grieving you.”

“Grieving?”

“He knows father banished you, but not why. He longs your return.”

We were both snapped out of our discussion as Steve spoke up. “Can someone please tell us what is going on here?!”

Thor and I looked from Steve to each other, nodding before I went to sit on the couch, Steve by my side. “It’s a long story.”

After I explained everything to Steve, how I was at one point with Loki, and how I was with his child, I let him process things as I walked out to the balcony. The view was beautiful. I never got a chance to see New York from this high up before. I carefully rubbed my stomach, feeling like I was reassuring the baby, but I was actually reassuring myself. All I could think of were the bad possibilities.

What if they locked me up? What if they took me back to Asgard and locked me up? Would I never see Thor again? Or Steve? And what about Loki? Would I ever really see him again?

I was pulled from my thoughts when a figure joined my side, the redhead everyone called Nat.

“So….” She whispered, turning her gaze to me, as I kept mine to the skyline. “You dated Loki?”

I nodded slowly, looking to her. “For quite a few years before I arrived here.”

“And you are pregnant with his kid?”

“That is why I was banished. Is there a point?”

“Are you… upset? Over what happened a couple of months ago?”

“I wasn’t aware of who it was until….quite recently. All I was told was that the Chitauri attacked. During the attack, I was trapped in the library, so I only saw the aftermath. I don’t know of Loki’s motives besides his grief of my leaving. I have lost everything, Loki, my home. I’ve had to start anew in an unfamiliar place, with nobody I knew. I have to raise this child alone. Of course, I am upset-”

“You’re not alone.” Steve’s voice spoke up, causing both Nat and I to turn to him. He stood in the doorway with his head down, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Wh-What?”

“You have your “parents”. And you have me. And all of the Avengers. But please, let me help you, Y/N. Let me help you raise this baby. I know I’m not the father and I am no good at understanding kids but-”

“Yes,” I whispered, walking up to him slowly.

“What?” He asked quickly, lifting his head to make eye contact.

“Yes. You can help.” I whispered before hugging his waist, resting my head on his chest. I felt him slowly pull his hands out of his pocket and wrap his arms around me, keeping me close as he rested his chin on the top of my head. “Just… promise you’ll stay Steve. Promise me you’ll stay with me.”

All he gave was a nod and hold me. Nat slipped away to join the others inside, leaving us to hug as the city lights shined bright behind us. Just us. And for the first time in what seemed like forever,

I was home.

[princeofdespair]

Don’t Screw It Up

Pairings: Platonic Polyamsanders/LAMP

Summary: Thomas has a date and his sides do their best to keep him out of trouble, all the while looking after each other.

Warnings: Minor food mention, minor swearing, negative thinking. Let me know if I need to tag anything else!

Word Count: 4,992

A/N: This is a...very different format then what I usually write. I wrote this in just a couple of hours but it usually takes a few weeks when I'm working on a fic, so I apologize if this isn't my best work. I just had this idea floating around in my drafts for a while and thought it would be a good fic for the one year anniversary of the Sanders Sides! I really hope you guys enjoy it!

Side note: I didn't give his date a name and kept his features up to the imagination because the alternative felt almost like making an oc to ship a real person with and I wasn't comfortable with that. Also, if the sides are arguing while in Thomas' mind think of it as when you're trying to make a quick decision and your brain is running a mile a minute, as in, Thomas is not just standing there blankly lol.

[Read on AO3!]

“Here, Thomas. This red shirt looks amazing on you. Wear this tonight.”

“I think the blue one would be a better match, it doesn't clash with his hair as much.”

“Um, excuse me?”

Roman turned his attention to the logical side, holding the red button up shirt in one hand, the other resting on his hip. He looks Logan up and down and sneers, “The last time I checked, I was the romantic side, not you.”

Logan rolls his eyes and grabs the blue polo from the closet. “I wasn't aware that made you the designated fashionista out of the four of us.”

“Well of course it does!” Roman exclaimed, clearly not picking up on his sarcasm. “The red shirt is obviously-”

“Blue. You'll thank me later, Thomas.”

“Red.”

“Blue.”

“Red!”

“Blue!”

Thomas puts his hands up and says, “Guys, please! Can we just agree on something!”

Logan and Roman are too busy glaring at each other and arguing to notice Patton slip between them to set a simple, gray long-sleeved shirt on the bathroom counter. It matches. Thomas silently thanks him and slips it on, ignoring his creativity and logic so he can start working on his hair. Patton goes back over to Virgil and sits down next to him on the bed where the anxious side is currently holding his head in his hands. Patton pats his back and Virgil only grunts. Did they really have to pull this crap already? They didn't have much time before Thomas had to leave to go pick up his date. Virgil was already on edge and the arguing wasn't helping his nerves one bit.

Roman finally notices Thomas' choice of an outfit and he huffs, throwing the shirt on the ground. “Fine, don't listen to me! You're romantic side! I mean come on, Thomas! This,” he gestures wildly around him, “is my thing!”

Thomas runs more product into his hair with his fingers and sighs. “I know, Roman. But you have to work with the others too, we've talked about this.”

Roman deflates a little and drops his arms to his side. “I...you're right. I apologize, Thomas. I'm just...”

“Are you nervous, kiddo?” Patton asks from his seat next to a still distressed Virgil.

Roman bristles, “No! Of course not! This is a date after all! Why would I of all people be...” He trails off. Who was he kidding? They were all connected, of course they knew. Roman sighs and joins Patton, sitting on the other side of him and quietly says, “Yes.”

Patton just smiles and rubs his back with his free hand, “Hey, that's okay! This is the first date we've had in a while, it's normal to be a little bit nervous!”

Roman leans against Patton's side and Virgil feels those old scars from Thomas' last relationship start to sting again. They needed to keep it together and play their parts if they wanted this to go smoothly. Virgil wasn't expecting anything good to happen tonight but he could at least hope it was just disappointment they had to deal with and not sadness or anger. Disappointment fell on him, sadness was Patton's to bear and although the moral side was currently smiling and excitedly trying to keep everyone’s spirits up, Virgil knew Patton was just as nervous. Maybe even downright scared.

Logan rubs the sleeves of the polo still in his hands and says, “Ten more minutes before we have to leave, Thomas.”

Thomas nods and walks out of his bathroom and back into his room. He spreads out his arms and asks, “How do I look?”

Roman sits straight up, a smile planted back on his face and exclaims, “Amazing as ever! Though, I still think the red-”

“Adequate. You're date will most likely find you more appealing than usual.”

Patton claps his hands and says, “Aw, you look so gosh darn handsome, kiddo! He'll love it!”

Virgil bites his tongue, thinking that the outfit was alright but not great and his face could be clearer and his hair was always a mess and they'd probably think he was a slob...but the others don't wait for his opinion anyway and it wasn't like Thomas didn't know that was what he was thinking. Virgil could let them boost him up a little, no harm in that.

“Right. Okay. Got my keys, wallet, pants are on, I think I'm all set!”

Logic hangs the shirt back up in his closet, brows furrowed in thought but Virgil is the only one who seems to notice. Great. He hates having to be the one to call them out.

“What's on your mind, Lo?”

They all turn to Virgil and then their eyes are on Logan who clears his throat and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“It's just...I'm not sure I understand why you're all so nervous.”

Patton cocks his head to the side. “Well, it's a first date, Logan. Anyone would be-”

“But the two of them have already established that they have, ugh, feelings, for each other. This isn't a stranger Thomas met online, it's someone he's known for years and had started to develop a romantic interest in months ago. Isn't the more obvious response to be excited about the beginnings of a potential relationship?”

Roman is the first to answer him saying, “Why, that's precisely why we're worried, Specs. We want tonight to be as perfect as it can be.”

“But one can assume that everything will turn out just fine! Thomas likes him, he likes Thomas. They've been friends for years, they're far past the awkward getting to know each other stage. They date, they become partners, maybe copulate-

“Logan, please!” Thomas yells, turning bright red.

Logan sighs and his voice is calmer when he says, “Apologies. All I’m saying, is that there doesn't seem to be a need for all this tension.

“Yeah well, I'm trying my best here.” Virgil draws his knees up to his chest and looks down at the floor. He really wanted them all to be happy but, he was anxiety. He couldn't always help it.

Logan reaches out and then draws back, he shakes his head and says, “That's not...Virgil I didn't mean to-”

Thomas' phone goes off and all five of them jump, Virgil actually whimpering as he's startled. Patton puts an arm around him.

Thomas turns the alarm off and says, “It's time to go. Guys, look...”

The sides turn their attention to him and Thomas does his best to literally pull himself together.

“Yeah, I'm pretty nervous. Heck if I'm being honest, I'm terrified, but I know it's been long enough and I really miss having someone to take care of and vice versa. Just...be on you're best behaviors tonight, okay? It'll be...it'll be fine. More than fine. I'll have an amazing night.” Thomas knows full well that he's saying this to himself, just as much as he is to the sides.

Logan beams at him. “That's the spirit, Thomas!”

Virgil buries his head against his knees and tries his hardest to calm down. Those nagging shadows won't leave him alone right now. They've been whispering to him all day and the closer they got to the date, the harder it was to tune them out.

Because, what if it's all some cruel trick and they get stood up? What if Thomas says the wrong thing and he gets upset and leaves right in the middle of it? What if he turns out to have been an asshole this whole time or what if-

“What if we get hurt again?”

Patton looks up when he feels everyone's eyes on him and quickly puts a smile back on his face. “Oh don't mind me! I was just-”

“No. We're not doing this again.”

Logan walks over to them and kneels down in front of Patton, he puts a hand on his knee and says in a hushed voice, “Patton, while that is an unfortunate possibility, nothing good will come out of dwelling on those thoughts. Thomas has learned a lot since...since the last time. We won't make the same mistakes again and we certainly won't let someone else hurt him.” He glances over at Virgil who clings tighter to Patton. No. He would not let that happen again. He'll keep them all safe but...what if keeping them safe means making Thomas unhappy?

Virgil stays silent but gives him an understanding nod. Logan turns back to Patton and says, “We have to look forward to the future, Patton, not shy away from what it has to offer.”

Patton wipes at his eyes and this time when he smiles, it's genuine. “Okay. Thanks, Teach.”

Thomas takes a moment to get a good look at each of them and then says, “Alright...you guys ready?”

Roman is the first to go, stopping to rest his hand on Patton's shoulder before he sinks out. Logan follows, then Patton. Virgil and Thomas meet eyes for a moment, and then he joins the others.

Thomas thinks, as he gets into his car and heads over to his dates house, that it's both a blessing and a curse to have the ability to deal with oneself so intimately.

One thing Thomas still didn't know about his sides is exactly what happens when they sink out and into his mind. He knows they have rooms sure, and he knows now that when he visits them, he's just projecting a part of himself into that section of his mind while his physical form stays where it is. What he doesn't know, is that when Thomas doesn't need to see them directly, they assumes a new form entirely.

The closest thing to describe them would be ghosts. They seemed to float around in the openness of the mindspace, a giant window where they could see through Thomas' eyes in front of them. They all glowed a different color. Respectively, Virgil was a deep purple, Logan a dark blue, Roman a brilliant red and Patton a light, teal blue. They had no solid facial features but they could feel each other more intensely than they could in the physical world. Right now, Patton was beaming and the feeling from his smile was warm against the others forms.

P – He's almost there!

R – We should have gotten him a gift! If only someone hadn't talked Thomas out of stopping to pick up flowers.

He glares at Virgil who just rolls his eyes and repeats himself from earlier.

V – That would be too awkward. He would have to go back inside his house and find a vase and someplace to put them and, ugh.

L – Do not forget this dates circumstances are different from the others Thomas has been on recently. We know this person fairly well. There's no need to try and 'woo them' with trivial gifts.

R – It's still a date, nerd! You're supposed to shower your love with gifts!

P – Now kids, there's no need to fight...

Thankfully, the sides had gotten good at keeping their arguments low enough that Thomas didn't have to pay much attention to them. He was pulling up into their driveway now and Virgil could feel how anxious he was, which in turn, made him anxious and if he wasn't careful they would just bounce back and forth until one of them started to panic. Virgil kept his breathing even, the nervousness Thomas was feeling now was healthy. This was a new situation, he needed to have his guard up.

Thomas got out of his car and took a deep breath in and out, shaking his hands as if trying to shake off some of his nerves and then walks to his front door. He knocks three times. His date answers exactly thirty seconds after. Logan was counting.

He grins as soon as he sees him and says, “Hey, Thomas!” His date looks him up and down and whistles, “Looking good, man.”

R – DID YOU HEAR THAT?! HE SAID-

P – Hush!

Thomas swallows the sudden lump in his throat and chuckles nervously. He had always been very outspoken, this shouldn't be so surprising. “Thanks. Um...”

R – Tell him he's the most beautiful man you've ever seen. That his eyes sparkle like-

V – Do you have any chill?

“...you too.” He cringed inwardly, feeling Virgil cursing his awkwardness.

His date just laughed and started to head towards his car. “You don't have to be so worked up, okay? Let's just, you know, hang out like we always do.” He smirks as they get into his car and adds, “It's just not so platonic this time, if you know what I mean.”

He raises his eyebrows up and down and Thomas snorts out a laugh. They could all feel him starting to relax. It was just like Logan said, they knew this person, there shouldn't be anything to be afraid of. Virgil still wasn't convinced. The others could get all comfortable if they wanted to but he wasn't letting up. He promised Logan he wouldn't let Thomas get hurt again. He wouldn't break that promise, even if it meant making Thomas a little more anxious.

They stop and get dinner first. A nice sit down restaurant, but nothing too fancy. Despite what his date said earlier, everything still felt somewhat stiff. They stuck to safe conversations while they waited for their orders (“How's work? “Good, good. And you?”) but after a while, they slowly fell back into something familiar. Making dumb jokes and geeking out over things just like they always did.

Virgil feels Logan's presence behind him as he reminds Thomas (again) to stop drinking so fast or he'll choke.

L – I know what you're doing.

V – Making sure we don't die? Yep.

Logan actually chuckles and settles down next to him.

L – Thomas is doing really well, but I can still sense that he's anxious.

Virgil doesn't respond. He was determined. Not even Logan could talk him out of this. To his surprise, Logan smiles at him.

L – Thank you.

V – What?

L – I asked you to protect us and that's what you're doing, isn't it? Making sure he doesn't put too much of his heart into this one date?

Virgil stays silent, he's not sure how to respond to that.

L – You're managing to keep his anxiety levels low enough that he can enjoy himself, but high enough that he doesn't go too far. I'm quite proud of you, Virgil.

Logan leaves him then, just in time to go over and stop Roman from throwing another unnecessary compliment at his date and Virgil stares at the screen, trying to process all of what he said. He never really learned how to take a compliment.

After dinner, they go to an aquarium, an idea all four of the sides could easily agree on. A little nerdy, a little romantically cliché, fairly quiet and basically perfect. Roman pushes Thomas to slip his hand into his dates before Virgil can stop him, but he just intertwines their fingers and smiles at Thomas who's thankful that the dim lighting could shadow his blush.

They enter a room with a giant jellyfish tank right in the center and his date runs towards it, eyes wide and full of wonder like a little kids. The butterflies Virgil was doing a good job of controlling up until now, fluttered helplessly inside Thomas and he sighed.

He turns around and says, “I love these guys. They're so freaking cool, don't you think, Thomas?”

Thomas hums in agreement and walks over to them, he's feeling nervous all over again. “Some jellyfish can actually clone themselves.”

R – Oh no, not this again.

L – What? I was just thinking how fascinating it is that in some cases, an injured parent can create...

“...hundreds of baby jellyfish with pieces of itself”.

V – Logan! Knock it off, you're making us look like an asshole!

P – Virgil, watch your language! But...Lo, maybe ease up just a little before-

“Seriously? That's freaking awesome!”

They all stare in shock at the screen, even Logan who truly didn't mean to get over excited. It had proven to have negative effects on people in the past.

They take Thomas' hand again and drag him to another tank. “Alright smart guy, know anything about these cuties?” He points to the butterfly fish swimming around in the tank and looks at him expectantly. Thomas looks at the fish and then back to his date and gulps. “Um...”

The three of them focus in on Logan who would probably be sweating right now if he was in his physical form.

L – Uh. Those are-

R – He knows what they're called, Genius!

P – Be nice...

R – You got us into this, Logic! Just dig down in that big head of yours and tell him, Logic! What do we know about butterfly fish, Logic?!

L – I don't know, okay?! Do I look like a marine biologist?

R – No, but you do look like a jackass!

P – Creativity!

Roman flinches at Patton's raised voice. Virgil tries his best to tune them out while he focus on keeping Thomas from sinking.

(V – Tell him the truth. It's fine, Thomas.)

“I actually don't know anything about them.” He laughs nervously and adds, “But I got a whole lot of jellyfish facts if you want!”

He raises an eyebrow at him and Thomas wishes he would let go of his hand because he's trying hard to keep them from shaking.

“Why do you know so much about jellyfish?”

Thomas shrugs. “I don't know, I get bored and start researching random stuff when I can't sleep. I just happened to have read the entire Wikipedia article for jellyfish once and managed to retain some of what I learned.” He gives another awkward chuckle and then adds,“Super weird, right?”

“That's actually kinda cool.”

“It-it is?”

“Yeah! I mean I always knew you were smart, just another reason why I fell for you I guess. Among other things.”

Roman stares at the screen, and then slowly turns to Logan who looks just as surprised. Then his aura glows a little brighter and a smugness, that could only have been directed at the fanciful side, washes over them.

“Oh,” was all Thomas managed to get out.

His date quickly looked away from him, and cleared his throat. “Ahem, anyway! Give me more facts about jellies.”

Thomas feels Logan's presence flex happily in his mind and says, “Yeah...I can do that.”

They had been out for several hours but it felt like only a short amount of time had passed. When they walked out of the aquarium they were greeted with the night sky. It was past ten p.m and they both had work to do the next day which meant...this was it. Their date was coming to an end.

There was a strange atmosphere in the mindspace. Happiness, because the date went so well. Sadness, because it was over. A hint of fear, because...what comes next? Virgil feels Roman sigh and glances over to see Patton circling around him. Trying to cheer him up, whispering to him.

P – Don't worry! We can ask him out another time! I'm sure he had a good time too!

Virgil got the feeling it wasn't just Princey he was trying to convince.

The drive back was quite but the atmosphere was much more comfortable than it was at the start of the date. Thomas catches his eye at every stoplight and he always greets him with a warm smile. Virgil can't help it as he flickers and the butterflies in Thomas' stomach flare up, every single time.

When Thomas pulls into his driveway, there's a sense of sadness around them now. He didn't want this night to end but it was getting late. Logan reassures him in the back of his mind, that the date seemed to go well so he would most likely ask to meet again. Roman pushing for Thomas to ask first this time, ignoring the anxious energy Virgil pushes onto that idea.

They sit in the car in silence for a few moments until his date says, “Well...this is my stop.”

“Yeah. Sorry, I drove as slow as I could.”

He laughs and then bites down on his lip nervously. He hesitates, then finally manages to say, “I know this is gonna sound dumb but...can you walk me to my door? Please?”

Thomas tenses up. That smile driving the butterflies in his stomach crazy. Such a harmless request and yet-

R – Oh my god.

L – What? He is simply asking Thomas to walk with him to his door? Perhaps he has some irrational fear of the dark or-

R – He wants us to kiss him.

L – Roman, please, he's obviously...

Logan's words trail off as he reassess the situation, then his form flickers. He goes to push his glasses up, forgetting momentarily, that he was in the wrong form. A nervous habit he pretended he didn't have.

L – Oh. Ahem. I believe you may be right for once. This scene does look very textbook.

Roman's form is glowing brighter than ever now. His smile is so wide and bright the others can't directly look at him without squinting.

R – Thomas! Listen, as soon as you get to his door you sweep him off his feet and-

V – NO! Are you freaking kidding me?!

Roman fixes his gaze to Virgil and glares, his form changing to a fiery, dark red.

R – This is my territory, Anxiety. I'm not letting you ruin this for us.

V – They don't want a kiss you idiot! He’s...he’s going to tell Thomas he doesn't want to see him anymore...

R – What?!

Fear shoots through Thomas but he's thankfully gotten good at hiding it. He puts on a smile on says, “Yeah. Of course I will.”

They both get out of the car, his date leaning against the passenger side as he waits for Thomas to walk around from his side. He smirks at him and, man it would be great if his sides would stop bickering in his head and just let him enjoy this.

They all get the message loud and clear and the three of them turn to Virgil. He shrinks into himself but his aura starts to glow brighter as he works himself up.

V – Oh god, what did we do wrong this time? Shit. Shit, shit, shit this was a bad idea, I knew it! Thomas has been lead on before but this bad?

P – Virgil...

V – I messed up. I messed up so bad Thomas is gonna get hurt again I messed up I messed up I-

Virgil feels a warm presence wrap around him, he tries to shrug it off, literally holding his arms around himself and shaking back and forth. The presence doesn't relent, moving all around him, annoying but somehow comforting all the same. Virgil looks up at Patton's smiling form. He sticks close to him, pushing as much positive energy as he could on the darker side.

P – You're doing so good, Virgil. You've been such a great help tonight, I'm really proud of you.

Virgil shakes his head and Patton brushes his fingers through his spectral hair.

P – I know you're scared...I'm scared too, but...we'll be alright, Verge.

V – You can't know that.

P – No. But you can't know that this will all fall apart either.

Virgil stares at him wide eyed. Patton was giving a lot of himself to this person and after they were burned so hard the last time...that should scare him. Virgil should be pulling him back in, protecting him. Protecting all of them. But...

Thomas and his date have reached the door. Logic thankfully taking over for the small talk that was commencing. Roman, for once, patiently waiting beside him. He glances at the other two, a pleading look on his face. Virgil looks back to Patton who just nods reassuringly.

Maybe this time...

“I uh, had a really great time tonight, Thomas. Seriously you're um...pretty great.” He snorts and rubs the back of his head, his cheeks are flushed and gosh he was so pretty. Roman is practically whining as he looks back and forth between Thomas' vision and Virgil. They wanted this so bad. Virgil takes a deep breath, in for four seconds...

“I'm so dumb...sorry.”

“No, no! You're...you're perfect.”

...hold for seven seconds...

He giggles and Thomas' heart is racing so hard he's starting to worry that they can actually hear it. His date hums and rocks back and forth on his heels, not quite meeting Thomas' eyes. “I know this is cliché as hell but I didn't want to do this in the car. I just...look I know this is only our first date but I've liked you for so long and you...said you felt the same?” It came out as a question and Thomas could only nod, as Logic was busy keeping Roman and Patton in line. Both of them waiting with bated breath, their forms blindingly bright.

…breath out for eight seconds.

“Yeah. Yeah uh, fuck it. You want to skip all the awkward dates and just...be my boyfriend?”

Logic short circuits. Princey is staring starry eyed and completely dumbstruck. Anxiety can feel how fast Thomas' heart is beating and that usually works him up but now. Now he doesn't know what the hell to think. They're all frozen and just vaguely aware that Thomas is staring at his date (boyfriend? Boyfriend?!?!?) mouth agape like an idiot and they're finally snapped out of it when Morality let's out a joyous shriek.

Thomas squeaks out a giggle and then quickly slams his hand over his mouth (Patton, please!). His date just laughs and says, “You're such a dork. A cute dork.”

R – I'm going for it.

V – Roman, wait!

R – I'M GOING FOR IT!

V – ASK FIRST YOU IDIOT!!!

Thomas takes a deep breath and says, “Can I...kiss you?” They're cheeks flush pink and he nods.

Logan and Virgil stand back and let Roman and Patton take over as Thomas takes his face in his hands and gently pulls him into a kiss. Everyone is glowing now, a feeling of pure happiness washing over them so strong, not even Virgil could overpower it. It's short, far too short in Roman's opinion, but he lets up and when Thomas pulls away, his date is the one looking love struck and dazed for once and a fierce sense of pride, coming from Roman, fills all of them. Roman turns to Virgil and smirks and Virgil just shakes his head with a smile of his own. Patton is floating around the space, cheering and Logan finally gains some control back and goes to calm him down.

“Wow.”

“Yeah...”

“So...is that a yes?”

Thomas let's out a surprised, oh! And then nods, “Yes! Of course!” They both laugh and their date boyfriend pulls him in for another kiss, much to Roman's delight. It is late and Logan insists on saying goodnight, so Thomas does just that. A kiss on the cheek, a wave as his new boyfriend goes back inside and then he just manages walk, not skip, back to his car. Once inside, he leans back against the seat and-

V – Hold it...

-makes sure that no one can see him-

V – Okay, now.

-and then loses his shit. He actually screams and bounces in his seat, throwing his hands up triumphantly. Virgil feels Patton around him again, whispering 'thank you', over and over, he doesn't say a word but he smiles. Yeah, this was kind of terrifying. It could end just as bad as the last relationship, or way worse even. Virgil had no way of knowing but the others might be right, something new didn't have to automatically spell out disaster.

On the ride home, Virgil feels Thomas call out to him and he manifests in the passenger seat. He beams at him and says, “About what Patton said earlier. I'm proud of you too, Virgil. I couldn't have done it without you.”

“Ahem!”

Roman had appeared in the backseat, arms crossed in a pout. Thomas glances at him in the rear view mirror saying, “And you too, Roman. I'm so blessed to have all of you, just the way you are.”

“Eh, good enough, I suppose.”

Thomas shakes his head and chuckles as Roman sinks back into his mind. Virgil rubs the sleeve of his hoodie between his fingers, his voice is soft when he says, “He can still hurt you.”

Thomas lets out a heavy sigh, “I know. I'm not letting my guard down but...I got a good feeling about this, Verge.”

Patton had a good feeling about his last partner too but Virgil keeps that to himself. There was no reason to upset him right now, especially after all the good that came out of tonight. Thomas was still riding on that high and he wasn't going to bring him down just yet. He does however, sit up and give him his best menacing glare and says, “Don't screw this up.” He couldn't not pump at least a little bit of fear into him, couldn't let him think he was going soft.

Thomas doesn't seem to be fazed, he just grins and says, “I'll try.”

Virgil shakes his head, “Nope. Not good enough. Don't. Screw. This. Up.” And then, as he sinks out he adds, “You got this.”

As Virgil retreats back into his mind, Thomas grips the steering wheel and whispers to himself, “Yeah. I got this.”

A/N: *blows a kiss to the sky* I put a lot of energy into this, here's hoping it helps the universe send Thomas an amazing boyfriend.

[ayehatethis]

Niall the Nurse

Warning: blood and needles, mild vomiting

I've been type 1 diabetic for 25 years and so I sort of wrote this cause I wanted one and it's more for me than anything. I wrote this based on my experiences, my symptoms, how I handle them and how my doctors have advised me to. I am not a medical professional, just a T1D (for longer than Niall has even been alive) and this is based on that. If you have questions regarding anything I talk about here, please don't hesitate to ask.

Also, I know Niall is scared as fuck at these types of things but I 100% believe if his girl had something like this he'd learn all he could to help her.

Here

It's the sixth glass of water she's ordered when I notice her face looking a little paler than usual. She usually drinks whiskey or some type of cocktail but tonight she insisted she only wanted water and I didn’t think anything of it till now. She is diabetic and I wonder if she’s checked her sugar lately. Someone calls my name and startles me from my thoughts and I forget to ask her.

I made her go to this stupid dinner for some golf event she didn't care about and she told me earlier in the day she hasn't been feeling well but she said she'd still go cause she knew it was important. I tried to tell her she didn't have to suffer through if she didn't want to. We could keep the babysitter and she could just relax in the hotel room the company booked me and if she felt better she could come down, but she insisted.

She's wearing a simple black dress and it's stunning on her. It comes down to her knees with a slight slit up the side. It has a soft neckline trimmed with a hint of lace and it shows just enough of her chest that it makes my heart beat faster. I know she's uncomfortable in dresses and she for some reason felt the need to wear some sort of contraption under it that sucked in her waist a little more. I thought it looked better without. I like her curves. I like the stretch marks and the baby weight she hasn't lost. It's a mark of how strong she is and how she gave life to my little girl. She’s too self conscious. Especially in this business I’m in, which is why I guess she felt the need for it.

The waiter just brings her an entire pitcher this time and leaves it on a side table behind us so she can get more when she needs it. If she's feeling too bad she'll tell me, I hope. I'm trying to pay attention to the other dinner attendees but keeping an eye on her, when I see her put an ice cube in her napkin and rub it on her forehead. She puts her head in her hands and she’s trying to be inconspicuous about it to not alert the other dinner guests.

"Baby, are you okay?" I lean over and whisper.

She shakes her head no before grabbing her purse and excusing herself to the ladies room. I follow her with my eyes as she starts to walk faster the closer she gets. I see a few of my colleagues notice as well and I stand up, throwing my napkin on the table and follow her, ignoring the ‘LADIES’ sign on the door and the dirty looks from the older lady walking out. 

 My princess is sitting on the bench in the ladies room and she feels so ill she doesn't even ask why I'm in here. She just hands me her purse and it clicks in my head what she needs. I should have asked her earlier.

I pull out her meter and wipe her finger with an alcohol wipe. I hold the lancing device (she calls it a pricker and I always thought that was strange) to her balmy hands and press the button to release the lancet into her delicate finger. A small drop of blood appears and I place it onto the test strip.

"HIGH" is all it reads once it counts down. "Babe, you're over 600. It won't even give a number. Is your site in?" She shrugs and mumbles something incoherent. I make sure there's no one else in here before I lock the door and then help her lift up her dress. I pull off the waist control thing and see that in fact her insulin pump site had been pulled out and started bleeding. 

"Babe, it came out. Do you have any syringes with you?" She nods. I clean up the site and the blood and fix her dress. Without the waist control. I throw it in the trash and I dig out the syringe and tiny bottle of insulin from her purse.

"20 units" she mumbles and I fill the syringe with the insulin. I wipe the skin on her exposed arm with another alcohol wipe before pinching a small section of fat, inject the needle and push the plunger in. I pull it back out and she looks up at me with sweet doe eyes and I'm about to help her back to the table when she flashes off the bench and into a stall. I can hear her losing everything she had eaten that day and I rub small circles on her back with one hand and hold her hair back with the other.

Someone starts knocking on the door and I forget for a moment where I am, but then run over and open the door to find the wife of one of my golfers. She looks startled that I’m in the ladies room and we’ve locked the door, but when I explain, she looks relieved that we weren't just in the bathroom messing around.

"Her blood sugar is really high and she's sick and I gotta take care of her. Can you just stay with her for a minute so I can go explain?" She nods and I kiss my wife's head before ducking out of the ladies room. 

When I walk back to the table, they’ve moved on to dessert. A few ask if she’s okay and where she is.

“She’s not feeling too well. I’m gonna take her back to the hotel. Thanks for a great dinner guys. I’ll see ya tomorrow”

A few of them snicker under their breath thinking they know why were leaving early. I mean her dress was amazing, but that’s not why. I ignore them and grab our food that the waiter had wrapped up. I walk back to the ladies room and knock on the door before peeking my head in. The woman whose name I can’t remember is sitting with her on the bench again, wiping a cold towel on her forehead and cleaning up her makeup. I thank her and she gets up to leave.

“Do you want me to take her to the hotel so you can stay?” she asks. “I don’t mind, I really hate these long dinners.”

“I’d rather go, in case she needs me to help her get her site back in. I’d rather make sure she’s okay, but thank you.” She nods and leaves the room. I call my driver to pull the car around and I don't care where we are, she's my princess and she needs me so I scoop her up into my arms and carry her out of the restaurant and to my car. I get a lot of strange looks and I'm sure this will be in the press tomorrow but I don't care. Morgan or Megan, whatever her name was can explain to everyone what was wrong. I know I’m overreacting, but I don’t think in how long I’ve known her I’ve ever seen her get sick from a high blood sugar. I wonder how high it actually was.

My driver looks surprised to see us out so soon and that I'm carrying her and helps me open the door and get her in. I explain to him on the way back to the hotel. It's a short drive, but her insulin is fast acting and she's starting to feel a little better when we pull up.

"I can walk Ni." she says, but she’s wobbling a little.

"Are you sure? I can still carry you."

"It's just a high blood sugar because my site got pulled out. It's not that big of a deal. Although I am sorry you had to leave early. I should have known it came out. Once I get my site back in, do you want to go back alone? I feel I wouldn't be good company tonight. Mel can come keep me company.” So that’s her name, I mentally note.

I walk her to the elevator and push the button for our floor. She leans on my shoulder and I put my arms around her waist to stabilize her. "We'll see how you're feeling. I don't wanna leave ya."

The elevator dings and we get out and walk to our room. I help her into one of my old  T shirts and some sleep shorts and she sits on the bed and starts to put her site back in.

"Do ya need help?”

She shakes her head no and I watch her as she puts the insulin inside the reservoir and connects it to the tubing before injecting the needle and tube into her stomach. I hate that she has to do this. She's so brave and strong. I don't dare tell her cause she hates when people tell her that for doing something so simple that's just a part of her life. Something that's been a part of her life much longer than I have.

Her mother was insistent on me learning all about it when we got engaged. Y/n said I didn't have to, but I was eager. I wanted to know how to take care of her. I wanted to be prepared in an emergency and so she gave me a crash course on diabetes every time she had to do something new I didn’t know about. I learned all about her symptoms, high and low. I learned how to check her sugar, inject syringes and change her pump site. I learned about sick days and traveling and adjusting depending on time zones and temporary rates. How she didn’t have a degree in mathematics to figure all this out, I don’t know. There’s so much calculating it overwhelms me sometimes.

She finishes up and I'm still in a daze watching her. I know it's not the worst thing that could have happened and I didn’t need to react how I did, but I hate seeing her sick, not feeling well, or like she was tonight.

"What's wrong, Ni?" She breaks me out of my daze as she throws all the trash away and cleans up all her supplies. She lays down in the king size hotel bed eyeing me waiting for me to answer.

"You really scared me. I don't think I've ever seen your blood sugar that high before. I was scared outta my mind. How would Juls react if she had been here to see mommy so sick?" I don’t mean to sound accusing, but if it scared me that much, how would our three year old react?

"I'm sorry. I started feeling crappy early on, I should have tested sooner. I know better. I am sorry I scared you. And I really appreciate you helping me. I’m glad you learned all this shit. I guess mom was right.” she chuckles.

"Babe, please do me a favor?" I ask as I take off my suit leaving me in just my boxers.

"Anything" she says as I hand her a bottle of water from the mini fridge. She downs half the bottle in one shot and puts the rest on the table next to her.

"Don't wear those squeezy waist things anymore. I hate em and they pull at your site and then you get sick. They aren't healthy for ya anyway. I wanna see your curves. I hate when ya hide em. If ya want to get a trainer to help ya feel better, I can call Bres to see about the girl he goes to.”

I climb into the bed next to her and she wraps her arms around my chest instinctively.

"I'll think about it." She says clutching me tighter and I wrap my arms around her.

"So you aren't gonna gonna go back?" She asks a few minutes later.

"Nah, I'll see em all tomorrow. I wanna make sure your blood sugar goes down. You're more important than all that. By the way, check your sugar again. I wanna see if the shot helped.”

She pulls her meter out of her purse and checks it. “413, at least its going down. If you wake up and want to check me during the night, I’ll put it on the side table for you.” and she places it next to the water.

I am totally going to wake up and check her blood while she’s sleeping. 

We have to get up early for the event today and when I check her sugar before I shower, its down to 115. ‘Perfect’ I think to myself as she rolls over and pulls her hand from my grasp. “Ni, you’ve checked me 15 times in 6 hours.” she groans.

“I know babe, I just wanna make sure you’re okay and you are. Go back to sleep for a few minutes. I’ll get you up when I’m out of the shower.”

“Mkay..as long as you promise I can take care of you next time you’re sick. You’re always taking care of me.” she says. I hardly get sick, maybe I’ll pretend to make her feel better next time I have a day off.

“Sure, babe.” I laugh “Oh, make sure to pack an extra set today just in case”  

“OKAY NIALL!” She yells as she tosses a pillow at me.

I laugh and run into the bathroom just in time to miss her toss.

Yeah,she’s definitely feeling better.  

My computer is being shitty today, so thank you for reading and sitting through this mess. Again, if you have questions about any of this, just ask!