#i wrote a NOVEL again but how do you sum up your existence into a few categories ya know? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gentleroads · 5 years

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1, 2, 11 and 15 if you’re still taking asks for the identity ask meme?

My core interests are so different each & every week, so it’s kinda hard to pin me down to a few categories imo. But because you took the time to ask me, I would gladly answer these questions for you hdkdjdk💖💖💕

(under a read more for ask length) (x)

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

So many things… Not necessarily my favorites, but these feel like me somehow.

THEY WOULD READ:

my natal chart. Honestly, I know astrology’s a pseudo-science - you can’t actually prove what’s true or not - but I deeply feel like my signs are accurate to my personality.☀️🌙

(Virgo sun means I’m a perfectionist, kind, & smart. Aries moon means I have a childish outlook & am quick-tempered, moody. Capricorn rising means I take things seriously & am image-conscious, but have a sense of humor still. I’m also Libra & Aquarius dominant, which means that I mostly seek balance in my life & relationships, but I come off as distant, too. Libra is also home in Venus, or the planet of love, so I naturally interpret things through a romantic lens.)

interactive fiction🥺🥺🙏🏼

esp. The Wayhaven Chronicles & Creatures Such As We

Greek myths (esp. “Eurydice & Orpheus”, “Psyche & Eros”) & fairytales

a lot of poetry & web-weaving about the human connection

my about page, lol

THEY WOULD WATCH:

(youtube) Jubilee, WIRED, Try Guys, vine compilations

Jubilee: Middle Ground, but Seeking Secrets hits me in a way no other videos have

WIRED: Technique Critique

Try Guys: I just like them? I think they’re hilarious & I enjoy watching guys being guys & having fun.

(movies) To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, A Silent Voice, The Edge of Seventeen, Mean Girls

(tv shows) The Good Place, The End of the F***ing World (more s2 than s1 in content), Black Mirror s1e3, Queer Eye s3e7 (24:03)

(comedians) John Mulaney, Mitch Hedberg, Trevor Noah, Bo Burnham, Catherine Tate

Team Starkid’s Starship musical

THEY WOULD LISTEN TO…

…both sides of a story before coming to a decision.

…these songs, which I listed in the order I thought made them sound the nicest:

Lower Your Expectations - Bo Burnham

Someone To You - BANNERS

Pardon Me - He Is We

Memories - Thutmose

Last Words of a Shooting Star - Mitski

Learn Me Right - Birdy, Mumford & Sons

Liability - Lorde

Do I Wanna Know - Hozier

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

A Thousand And One Nights - Starkid

Can’t Handle This - Bo Burnham

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Yes, actually! Sylvia Plath, Franz Kafka, & E.E. Cummings wrote in ways that completely agree with me. Most everything they wrote, I could find myself in it.

11. describe your ideal day.

My ideal day would be super chill - it just involves a ton of relaxing. I’m wearing comfortable clothes & am hanging out with people I like (friends/family). We can go somewhere new or stay where it’s familiar. We eat together & tell stories that make each other laugh. We watch a theatre performance/tv show/movie.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.*

NatGeo’s Weird But True! debut book

This little book jumpstarted my intense craving for any & all trivia. I read it, cover to cover, in elementary school & would spew the relevant ones during class. Since then, I’ve kinda just had a reputation for knowing things.

a book filled with Grimm’s fairytales

I learned about love through fairytales. It was actually the illustration accompanying “Rapunzel” that made a shiver run up my spine. I couldn’t have been older than 10. I stared & felt wonder, & I believe that love is good & rewarding.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

A surprisingly engaging novel. IIRC Shelley wrote it when she was my age & I had to read it for class. It opened my eyes to the idea of taking responsibility for the creation/guidance of life & education. (Also, apparently, there has always a literary struggle between man vs. God. Wack.)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

^ These two explored the concept of soul mates & how we determine how our lives unfold - if that makes sense? Like, choosing what to do with ourselves in a moment & then dealing with whatever follows from that.

*I feel like books haven’t influenced me as much as just talking to people has. I like to watch the interviews of creatives & behind-the-scenes clips because I’ll never know as much about a certain topic as said creative does. I am genuinely interested in knowing what anyone says always.

I also read sooo much (but not novels nowadays). Everything from YouTube comments to video game lore to bodily illness to historical fashion to love letters between poets to Tumblr posts to the backs of cereal boxes. Most anything I come across & have no info on, I want to know about. There is so much to discover in everything. My memory is long & I am young still.

Books are written by one person; they hardly have an answer I’m looking for.

#asks #2-dream #mine #🥺🥺🥺#i don't think i'll ever get over you being interested in whatever i may have to say (!)#i wrote a NOVEL again but how do you sum up your existence into a few categories ya know?

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variousqueerthings · 3 years

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Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent.

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him).

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest.

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed.

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take).

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too.

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red.

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002 and @jenpsaki:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married).

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead.

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.

#daniel larusso #terry silver #the karate kid #the karate kid part three #cobra kai #ck #cobra kai meta #and in conclusion... brain brain brain

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redsector-a · 3 years

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AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist* The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around. One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

#icyredfics #writing #winterhawk #long post

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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First of all thanks so much for all your TOG history posts! I have a question specifically about the one where you explained the continuity errors with Nicky being a priest. I like your "second son of a nobleman" Nicky that you use in your fics a lot. But I also really like the idea of a lower-class Nicky; TOG already has wealthy merchant scion Joe and literal queen Andy--i love the idea that Nicky comes from humbler origins. Is there any way to make that make sense in a historical context?

I mean, pretty much anything is possible in history? If it can happen, it probably has happened at some point, and even the broad categories and generalizations that historians apply to things are never always right in all cases, even if they represent the major trends. I obviously don’t want to shoot down people’s headcanons or ideas, even and indeed especially from my soapbox of “cranky historian complains about things on the internet.” I have personally tweaked some aspects of Joe and Nicky’s backstories that I use in my fics, since I came up with DVLA before I knew anything about the comics or any bonus content that had been released about the characters. My feeling is that since a) it’s film-verse, not comics, and b) their backstories haven’t been shown on screen and may be subject to change in adaptation, I can, while engaging in transformative fanworks, create them to suit myself. I obviously keep the broad parameters of what canon establishes, but within that space, I do occasionally nip and tuck and move things around. For example in my new AU fic, I DID make Nicky a priest as in graphic-novel canon, but that’s long since changed by the time he arrives in Jerusalem. For the fics I write for them in canon-verse, I tend to use the backstory I established in DVLA, just because... well, I like it a lot, obviously, and that was what I wrote it for. This is just because I am the aforementioned cranky historian and I rearrange the toys when I am playing with them, but my interpretations don’t necessarily have to be everyone else’s.

On that note, since you did ask for some historical context/plausibility for this headcanon, it depends (again) on how much extra story you want to invent for Nicky and how many gaps you want to fill in. Which is totally fine either way! I talked in this ask about the People’s Crusade of 1096, the involvement of unarmed/unskilled commoners in the crusades more generally, and how that would have impacted on Nicky if he didn’t have any previous training in arms. Once again, as with him being a priest, him being a low-class peasant/freeman of humble status runs into some (not insurmountable, but still extant) problems with where he would have learned how to use a sword and weapons more generally. I also obviously approve of the idea of bringing some class diversity into our historical immortals, but the son of a very poor bondsman (the stereotypical peasant in a cottage or a serf working a lord’s land) is, alas, going to have gotten into trouble in his community if he is training with a sword. (Or at least definitely raised some eyebrows, as well as questions about where he got it and how he paid for it.) As I’ve mentioned, the sword is a knight’s weapon, so if Nicky has been using it at all, he has at least enough status to qualify for that.

Happily, however, there are plenty of ways to make him not be from a rich family. As late as the end of the 11th century, aka around the time of the First Crusade, knights could still be distinguished as “free” or “not free,” and since this was before the rise of chivalry as a major social force, knights and men-at-arms were often (and indeed could be throughout the medieval era) from humble families, minor gentry, or even the working class. Chivalry made knighthood into an especial aspiration for the nobility, but not every man on a battlefield was a nobleman -- far from it. Indeed, the nobleman would call up the families who owed allegiance to him, and they could call up the families who owed allegiance to them, and so on. The definition of “knight” in the pre-chivalry landscape is a little muddy; does it convey prestige or social status, or just that someone was trained in arms? Is there a difference between that and just “man at arms” or “armed man?” For instance, at the battle of Hastings in 1066, the English army under King Harold II was composed of fyrdmen, aka regular working stiffs who had been summoned from the land (and indeed, we know they were of humble status because they had to go back and help their families with the harvest after William the soon-to-be-Conqueror had still not arrived in September), and housecarls, the professional/lifelong soldiers who served in the army as a career and were paid for their service. But we don’t always have the luxury of clear terminology for the many, many kinds of armed men who existed in various social strata in the Middle Ages.

That means, therefore, that Nicky can very easily be a poor knight, a man-at-arms of humble status who has just his sword and his armor and is subject to the vassal-of-a-vassal-of-a-vassal-of-a-lord, or other armed man of unclear rank who definitely doesn’t have money or come from a rich family. Despite the unavoidably classist nature of many medieval history chronicles, the ranks of society weren’t only king, duke, earl, and nobleman. It was a patron-and-client society, and while the king was the ultimate patron, plenty of lords of middling rank or lower would have vassals who owed allegiance to them, and vassals who owed allegiance to those vassals in turn. The word feudal, which has been so misused and turned into an (incorrect) shorthand for constant petty territorial violence, basically just means this hierarchical society of mutual rights and obligations, where (unless you were the king) you both owed fealty to someone higher in rank than you and had people lower in rank who owed fealty to you. That would only end with the serf/bondsman, who wasn’t patron to anyone. But within that, there is plenty of wiggle room to make Nicky non-noble.

This would raise the question, however, of how he was going to pay for his journey to Jerusalem. Crusade financing was a perennial problem even for kings and lords with deep pockets, and the cost of a journey to the Middle East was far, far beyond most ordinary people’s ability to cover, which is why the commoners’ crusades kept ending in disaster. (That and obviously the fact that they weren’t trained in war.) When you are traveling for months and months and have to provide all your own food, shelter, arms and armor, transportation, upkeep, etc., you would either have to have a wealthy lord paying your maintenance, have substantial private financing of your own, have sold most of your property to go (which then implies that you had property to sell), made good with a religious house who had advanced you the cash, etc. We can really go down a rabbit hole here about Duke Hugh of Burgundy making a deal with Genoa in 1192 to provision King Philip and the French army on the Third Crusade. (This is helpful since it deals with Genoa, i.e. Nicky, even if not for the First Crusade.) This covered 650 French knights and their squires and came out to nine marks a knight, which is about £6, for an overall bill of 5,850 marks.

To give you an idea of how much this is in comparative terms: in 1380, a poll tax of twelve pence per person was considered so extortionate that it helped kick off the 1381 Peasants’ Revolt. And this was two hundred years later, when wages had risen and exchange rates had increased. One pound was worth 240 pence, so if twelve pence was an exaction for your average laborer, you can see that they’d get nowhere close even to one pound. A gift of £4 to William the Conqueror in 1066 was also considered a wildly high sum. And this was all on the extremely cheap end of crusading ventures. Frederick Barbarossa, who went on the Third Crusade at the same time as Philip and the French, had expenses coming close to 100,000 marks. Crusading, in other words, was wildly expensive (often ruinously so), and either Nicky would have a wealthy patron (meaning that he was somewhat closer to the top of the heap, even if below the first rank of noblemen) or money of his own or some way to finance his journey. Which again means that he has to have some kind of background that enables him to do it. The issue with the ordinary people who went on crusade (and they absolutely did, despite various attempts to forbid them as not militarily useful) is that, as noted, they weren’t trained in arms and they didn’t have money, and when you’re trying to travel from Europe to the Holy Land under 11th-century conditions, that becomes a big problem.

So yes. Basically: you can absolutely make Nicky a person of lower rank, down to a humble man-at-arms, who doesn’t have a rich family and doesn’t come from money. But if he’s going on crusade all the way to Jerusalem -- and if he’s successful at it, i.e. we’re assuming he didn’t get killed until Joe did it the first time -- then he has to have at least enough social status that he is the direct vassal of a wealthy lord or can make some financial arrangements on his own, has been able to train with a sword, knows what he’s doing with it, etc. You are obviously welcome to invent whatever details or backstory you want for him, but alas, crusading was often the provenance of knights, noblemen, and kings for brutally practical reasons, whether economic, social, military, or pragmatic. So the further you go down the social rankings, the more logistical details you’ll have to think up for him (at least if you want to be historically nitpicky, and it’s fantasy, so you frankly don’t even have to, but hey, what do you people come to me for if not historical nitpicking?) as to how he would have trained in arms, paid for his journey, been able to go on crusade in the first place, etc. So yes.

Thanks so much for this question! It was a lot of fun.

#the old guard #the old guard meta #medieval history #history of warfare #long post #emotionallycompromisedrobots #ask

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lilydalexf · 4 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Mary Ruth Keller

Mary Ruth Keller has 42 stories at Gossamer, plus her stories are at AO3. She's written a number of short standalone stories, but she's thought through the X-Files mythology and written about it probably as much as anybody ever has. So if you want to dive into the mythology and all its drama, you need to go read her mythology fics ASAP. (But read this long, interesting interview first!) Big thanks to Mary Ruth for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Quite frankly, yes. The Kuxan Sum Cycle branches off the actual series following the Third Season episode Syzygy. I took the myth-arc as it stood at that time, post Nisei-731, and the agents in mid-Rift. Although I didn’t quite realize it when I started out, I was most interested in moving the myth-arc forward in a continuously unfurling narrative, one where Scully and Mulder became an effective investigative team who support each other as partners and friends again. After I started writing in my little corner of the X-F universe in 1996, there was a lot of stuff on the show that just happened, with no real storytelling logic to it I could fathom, but that seemed to be popular. I stopped writing in 2000 because I was frantically busy at my new job (which consumed far too many twelve-plus-hour workdays and weekends) and because my sister and I were trying to take care of my elderly, increasingly frail, Mother. So, I never expected, when I started writing in 2018 and posting again in 2019 (I reposted all my stories, in order, to AO3 and fanfiction.net, because Chermera would never have made sense without them) for readers to take an interest in myth-arc and character issues that the series writers had simply abandoned to go chase, well, anything else, especially if it made no coherent sense whatsoever. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

The fandom was a lot of fun. There were many interesting, engaging discussions I took part in with other fans of the show, some of whom I am still in touch with.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

All of the above. I spent a lot of time discussing writing and characters with other writers on ATXC, except when I was actively working on my novels. Since I was doing basic research into microwave remote sensing of the Earth while working at the Naval Research Laboratory at the time – yes, I was one of those dreaded Department of Defense scientists the show had a love/hate relationship with – my writing happened at night and on weekends. Novels, especially the longer ones, take me about a year from first words on disk until release, which meant I didn’t have all the time to participate on-line as I would have otherwise. But, I enjoyed chatting with the fellow denizens of the Endies Board, and on the EMXC, Scullyfic, and Je Souhaite mailing lists. I’ve saved some of those posts and conversation threads on my older computers, where it’s fun re-reading them from time to time. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

There were a lot of generous, funny, very intelligent fans involved with X-F back then (not that there aren’t now; there are, of course). I started writing because I wanted to get the myth-arc and the characters back on-track, the long-term story moving forward and the agents again being the smart investigators I loved hanging out with on Friday nights. But, outside of having read a lot of myth, literature, fiction, and non-fiction, I didn’t know enough about the mechanics of writing fiction. Several authors were willing to help out, some explicitly through E-mail conversations, and some from general comments about crafting stories that were posted to ATXC. I had a real problem with how I initially handled dialog, which I had some E-mail guidance on, that was very much appreciated. I also had two quite diligent beta readers, one an on-line fan, and one a real-life friend, both male, who helped me with the direction of the Scully-Mulder half of Anath. I was, at the time, utterly exasperated with how the pair of them had become such complete morons on the series, both totally incapable of investigating anything successfully, which was affecting my writing the characters in that story. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? Ooh, boy. I’d like to say I started watching with the show with the Pilot, but I didn’t, quite. Tom Shales was the Washington Post TV critic at the time the Pilot aired – yes, not only was I a government scientist, I was living in Alexandria, Virginia, in 1992. He was intrigued by the characters and premise and found Duchovny and Anderson engaging while playing their roles. At the time, I was wrapped up trying to work on a PhD while still employed at NRL, so I tucked the review away, waiting until I had Friday nights free to check it out. I’m a great lover of science fiction, so I thought to give the show a try, eventually. [Lilydale note: I found a couple things Tom Shales wrote about The X-Files premiere in 1993: Fall 1993 TV preview article and a “Pilot” episode review.]

The first episode I sat down to watch was the First Season Darkness Falls, where Mulder and Scully get trapped at the logging camp with the Earth Firster, Doug Spinney, the logging executive, Steve Humphries, the Forest Ranger, Larry Moore, and the gooey green bugs. I was amazed by that story. It was as perfect a little piece of science fiction as I have seen on TV (except for one bit toward the end), with an environmental moral to it as well, where all the characters make good and bad choices, and they all suffer or succeed because of them.

What hooked me, really hooked me, were the first/second acts, specifically, Dana Scully’s actions, once they find the desiccated logger in the tree. The investigation is handled logically, in that it’s not the big male agent who goes shinnying up the trunk to look at the evidence while everyone else stands around watching and wailing, “Whatever shall we do!” No, it’s little Dana Scully who takes the ride to the upper branches. This made oodles of sense, in that she was this tiny woman whom two men could lever up that far with a rope, a hand winch, and pulleys. When she gets there, after grimacing (who wouldn’t, considering what she saw), she starts investigating. She does an on-the-spot post-mortem exam, while Mulder makes an ooky male-body-parts joke, but everyone takes her results seriously. I was thrilled. Here was a female character I could really relate to, someone who could hold her own in a difficult situation, unlike most of those on the tube, then or now.

I made a point, over the following summer, of watching as many re-runs as I could, catching up on the episodes and characters. The stories ran to science fiction and horror, which are my preference. Further, although there was an emphasis on the paranormal, several of the first season episodes were written so both Mulder’s wanting-to-believe-but-needing-proof intuitive, emotional approach and Scully’s logical, scientific, justice-oriented viewpoint each got the narrative coherently from initial crime to identifying and apprehending a suspect. It was some spectacular, complex writing, and I was hooked, hopelessly hooked. I discuss this some on my old author web-page, which still exists, courtesy of the Wayback machine), so I won’t belabor it. What got you involved with X-Files fan-fic? The shenanigans within the Third Season, quite honestly. The myth-arc wasn’t moving forward, as it had during the Second Season, which I really couldn’t understand. Carter had given us this bang-up start in the ABC Trilogy with all these new fictional possibilities to explore, but instead, bupkis. The MOTW’s were retreads with no depth or moral/ethical weight to them, except for Darin’s stories. The intelligent agents I had enjoyed spending time with while they pursued their oddball investigations were evaporating before my eyes. Mulder had always been this deeply intuitive character who cared about others and knew he could get it wrong, so needed Scully’s logic in their investigations, even if he didn’t always want to hear her observations and questions. But that character was being replaced by a cookie-cutter misunderstood anti-hero, who wasn’t thinking, just running off to chase butterflies, who was always right because he was The Guy. Scully, as an investigator, the little agent who could, was simply being sidelined. Sure, she’d argue with Mulder, but the writers had stopped giving her and her logical viewpoint a real role in their cases, Darin excepted, again. As the series went on, the Agent and Doctor Dana Scully I respected was replaced with this snappish little female whose only notable skill was running in high heels, who spent her time standing around with her arms crossed, and made pruney faces at Mulder if she were required to do any actual investigating. I hated that character, but, apparently, the all-male writing staff just loved her.

I knew about the on-line fandom, so I thought to check out if anybody else had noticed these “improvements.” First, I spent time at ATXF, discussing the changes with the series, that disturbed a lot of folks, not just me. Eventually, I tripped onto ATXC. There were writers there who understood the two characters, quite well, but weren’t that interested in the other problems with the show that bothered me deeply.

Like many fan-fiction writers, I decided to try to bring in, or in my case, bring back, what I was missing in what was being aired. Sins of the Fathers was the result. As I mentioned above, it was a far from perfect story, but I learned much putting it together, and it got a lot of positive feedback. So I kept writing and trying to improve what I wrote. Folks appreciated it, then and now, surprisingly, which was endless encouragement to keep going. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? With work and my Mom, as I mentioned above, I dropped out for a few years. My new job is still microwave remote sensing of the Earth, at a University-affiliated laboratory, not working directly for the government, but the NASA/NSF-type funding for the research I like to do is much harder to come by, so it takes up a lot more of my time to keep funded and working. Adding to that, I haven’t found places like ATXC in the 90’s or the Endies Board, but I suppose lightning only strikes once. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Not really, no. I’ve enjoyed other TV series, but, I never felt those shows were just throwing away essential parts of themselves as X-F did, or, if they went bad, I simply stopped watching them. A fandom is, or can be, a huge time commitment, which, as I’ve noted, I don’t have that much of. I discuss this quite extensively in my author’s notes at the end of Chermera, so I won’t repeat myself. [Lilydale note: the long author notes are at the end of the story’s last chapter, not in the AO3 notes section.] Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

As a child, I loved reading myths and legends from many different cultures. So many amazing stories, so much that touches on truth. Greek myth, Norse legends, Islamic tales, Celtic fables, all of them. It goes without saying that discovering Tolkien’s fully-realized Middle Earth in my early teens was like falling into an river of endless delights.

In literature, perhaps the character I enjoy most is Sherlock Holmes. On television/in movies, I’d have to say: Beverly Crusher, (early) Dana Scully, Susan Ivanova of Babylon 5, Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan and (early) Aeryn Sun on Farscape, Samantha Carter on Stargate SG-1, Hermione Granger, and most recently, Lagertha on Vikings. Dunno, there might be a pattern there. Possibly. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Yes, absolutely. I started rewatching the series when it ran on BBC America, enjoying the first two seasons again. I’d actually never stopped thinking about Mulder and Scully; I just lost the time to write about them, until two years ago, when I managed to land some long-term funding so I wasn’t staying up nights writing proposals every few months. I’d have a thought about how to advance the story that became Chermera, so I’d make a mental note and play with it in my head. I also have two more novels and a satyr play left to go in the sequence of stories I want to write, so I’m turning over plot-lines and potential arcs in my head all the time. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I do read X-F fan-fic. Since the series has wandered so far away from what engaged me, and most fan-fic keeps up with that, I don’t read very much. As far as other fandoms, one was enough. Do you have any favorite X-Files fan-fic stories or authors?

Reaching back into the dark ages, I’d say Pellinor and Nascent. They may both be available on Gossamer. [Lilydale note: Fortunately, they are!] What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise? Zurvan is the favorite of my older stories. It, like Twelfth Night (Denha on AO3 to avoid confusion with another X-F story named Twelfth Night), builds on the past stories in their trilogies and brings the overall arc to new places. It’s fun to uncover surprises when writing and develop challenges to address in the future, which both of those stories did. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I’d certainly like to. I had planned to write three trilogies with their satyr plays, each of them focusing on an aspect of the mythical Triple Goddess: Maiden, Matron, and Crone, in the X-F universe. Only, being me, I turned it around. Sandra Ann Miller (Samantha) is the Maiden, but I’ve just started telling that part of the arc with the transitional Anath and the first trilogy story Chermera. I’m approaching this trilogy as a coherent tale spread across the three novels, which is different from the other two. The Caroline Lowenberg Trilogy didn’t really get organized until Twelfth Night. It was only the third story I’d ever written, so perhaps I can be excused. The Dana Scully Trilogy was all interconnected, but that was more of an organic, rather than a pre-planned and deliberate, effort. I didn’t really grasp the full arc of what I was creating there until I was writing Chermera and looked back over the threads running from Rustic Suite through Anath. The next story in the Sandra Ann Miller Trilogy involves the exposure of the Japanese arm of the Consortium, but, I need to read up on Japanese history, myths and legends, and world view before I write it. After finishing and posting Chermera, that’s what I’ve been doing. The conflict between Amaterasu, the Sun goddess, and her ne’er-do-well brother Susanoo-no-Mikoto, the god of, among other things, storms, marriage, and love, as told in the Kojiki and the Nihongi (both written down in their near-final forms at the same time as we in the West were just recording the first skeletal versions of the Arthurian Legends), will definitely get worked into the Sandra Ann Miller Trilogy. I’m starting to put the arcs and plot-lines together, but, I’m not ready to begin writing yet. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work? As I’ve discussed, I do. Part of why I take my time is because Mulder and Scully are owed real, challenging cases to solve - the two intelligent agents with their own approaches, strengths, and weaknesses, remember. Partly, because I have original fiction ideas I’d like to pursue. Trying to do the best I possibly can in the sheltered world of X-F where I attempt to create stories with universal themes, well-realized settings, coherent plot-lines, and original characters who resonate with my readers is practice for the original fiction. I’ll never write the Great American Novel (whatever that is), but I’d like to write stories that are as good as I can make them and fun for my readers, so I keep plugging. Where do you get ideas for stories? Reading and thinking, mostly. I try to look for ideas that haven’t been done to death, or different approaches to old themes. I have four original novels I scribble mental notes on. After I bring this myth-arc I’ve been working on to its (to me) logical resolution, I hope I’ll be able enough of a writer to get started on them. What's the story behind your pen name? Actually, it’s my real name. At the time I started writing, I didn’t think to do anything else. On ATXC and Gossamer, I wrote several of the shorts that are separate from the Kuxan Sum Cycle under the pen name Lise Meitner. She was a Twentieth Century theoretical physicist who explained nuclear fission, then was cut out of a Nobel prize because the judges of her day thought Marie Curie and Irene Joliot-Curie were “enough” women physicists working in radioactivity to be so honored. [Lilydale note: here’s her Wikipedia page. Among many other fascinating things talked about there, she was nominated for the Nobel Prize 48 times in two different categories and had the 109th chemical element, meitnerium, named after her. She also escaped Nazi Germany in a plot involving trains, boats, planes, and an emergency diamond ring. You really ought to read about her.] Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

I’d shared the first five of my novels with my family back in 1996. They liked them, my sister especially. I’m not sure they knew what to make of them. I haven’t shown them to my in-laws, but, I think my sister-in-law found them on her own. We haven’t discussed them, as they aren’t her usual preference, which is Romance. One distant blood relation was thrilled to discover them on-line and wrote me about them. My sister, though, is my (self-admitted) biggest fan. When we were kids, she and I shared a bedroom, where I’d make up stories to tell her at night so she could fall asleep. She and I correspond regularly by E-mail (she’s in Florida and I’m in Maryland). Back while I was working my way through Chermera, she asked out of the blue if I was ever going to write any more. She was thrilled to hear I had been but she doesn’t have regular Internet access other than at her job. I made printed, bound copies of all my stories to mail to her last Christmas. She loves them, bless her. Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’ve sent Chermera to Gossamer, but, it hasn’t been updated since July 2018. All the rest of the stories are there.

At AO3, my stories are under: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrkeller. The Kuxan Sum Cycle is linked together at: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555492.

I’ve published the Lise Meitner stories under my own name there: Faustus Mulder; Late Night Thoughts on Evolution, Hard Times, and Lost Pets; You Just Don’t Understand; and Lux Perpetua. Since I could separate out the trilogies into their own cycle, it just made sense.

At fan-fiction.net, they’re under: https://www.fanfiction.net/~maryruthkeller

Again, the Lise Meitner stories are under my own name. Since fanfiction.net doesn’t have a linked series option like AO3, I’ve added a header to all eleven of the stories in the Kuxan Sum Cycle so far explaining the order. The novels all are tagged with thumbnail versions of the covers I made for them. Also, the literary quotes I started each chapter and begin and end each story with, are kept in the AO3 versions, but are removed at fanfiction.net to avoid potential copyright issues. Shakespeare, Christine de Pisan, the Popol Vuh, the Ugaritic myths around Anath, and others are all long out of, or never were in, copyright, of course, but, just to be on the safe side, I’m following fanfiction.net’s rules.

If folks care to write, I’m still at my old eclipse address: [email protected]. Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Enjoy it, use it as an opportunity to make connections and expand your horizons as a storyteller. Fan-fiction was much more of a home-grown effort back in the 90’s than it is now, when there are how-to books, of all things. But, don’t get so wrapped up one forgets about real life. That’s where all the best stories are.

(Posted by Lilydale on October 27, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #mary ruth keller

41 notes · View notes

author-a-holmes · 3 years

Note

3, 8, and 15 for the get to know the writer asks!! - @magic-is-something-we-create

Thank you for the asks, darling!

Answering 3, 8 and 15 from this ask list.

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else?

Oh blimey. What a first question. I WISH I could write out of order, but I can't. So, basically for me it's, Chronological and Front-to-Back.

When I re-outlined the Fey Touched Novels, I've added a short story that takes place prior to the start of book one, so even though I currently have 17k of book one written that I did during July's Camp Nano, I've now had to go back and start with the short story first.

*facepalm*

8. Favorite genre to write?

Fantasy, by a huge margin. All Fantasy. Contemporary, Urban, Epic, etc. As long as it has magic in it, I'm happy.

It's also my favourite genre to read.

I also enjoy writing in Sci-fi, and Romance, but Fantasy really is where my heart resides.

15. Why did you start writing?

Interesting question, but it actually has a pretty shallow answer because when I started writing I was 7 years old. I didn't put a whole lot of thought into the decision.

I started writing because I was good at it.

I had wanted to be a ballet dancer, but I was born with congenital talipes, which made being a professional dancer an impossible dream. So then I tried art. I wanted to illustrate books, although I didn't know that's what it was called at age 6. I tried for about 6 months, and then decided that I was so bad I gave stick figures a bad name, and abandoned it. I decided that if I couldn't illustrate books, then I was going to write them instead so I gave writing a try and... I wasn't bad at it!

My brother had a copy of David Edding's writing guide called "The Rivan Codex" and I read it cover to cover, and tried writing my first Epic Fantasy Book around the age of 8 or 9 years old. My main character was called Derwin and because my only exposure to elves at that point had been in reading Lord of the Rings I thought they needed very long, very pretentious names. I called my elf character Beladiedian, a fact that @faelanvance has never let me live down.

I still have that first manuscript somewhere, half of it's written in my mum's eyeliner pencil because my pen ran out of ink, and I think I managed to get through the first 12 or 13 chapters, before I started noticing the flaws in it and moved onto other things.

But that actually encouraged me because I unlike art, where I noticed the flaws but had no idea how to fix them, with writing I was noticing the flaws when I'd discovered or learnt something new. I already knew how to fix the errors I was seeing and that was encouraging, so I kept writing.

I moved into fanfiction writing when I was about 11-12 years old, and wrote fanfiction in a variety of fandoms for years and years. I'd still dabble in original fiction, but I used fanfiction to practice. I didn't have to spend months world building to write a piece of fanficton, I could dive right in with premade characters and an existing world, and try something out to see if it worked.

Around age 13 I started doing written role-plays with a friend in american who was also a writer, and alongside that roleplay we would do short-stories, taking it in turns to write a piece from our characters point of view. We learnt a lot from each other and developed different skills and techniques.

Eventually, late 2018/early 2019, when I was 27-28, I was writing a Doctor Who fanfiction. It was huge, I was doing a season rewrite, and a Doomsday fix-it, and it was in the 20+chapter/250,000 word range and was only half complete... and I was telling @faelanvance all about the plot outline I had prepared and what I was going to do with it and she casually tossed out; "That's great, but why aren't you spending that time and those words on your own writing? You've already written a quarter of a million words, you could have published a book by now."

She was right, of course. She usually is. So I decided to give it a try. It had been several years since I'd tried writing my own work, I'd suffered severe creative burnout in 2016-2017 and hadn't written anything at all, so I carefully approached writing a stand alone fantasy book, Stolen.

6 months later that project had morphed into a 6 book series, and I had the first manuscript completed at 145,000 words... That was October 2020 and the rest is history.

Bringing this back around to your question, I realise this was an overly-long response but... I started writing because I was good at it, shallow but true. I didn't give up on writing because I could see how I was improving, unlike with art, and that motivated me but I think the reason I stuck with writing, and continued writing, is actually none of those reasons.

I think the reason I'm a writer is because, I don't know how to not be a writer. I have characters wander through my mind on a regular basis. Sometimes they stick around and I have to tell their story, and sometimes they're gone again, presumably to bother some other poor, unsuspecting writer. It's kind of funny actually, because I saw a quote literally two or three days ago that kind of perfectly sums up, in hindsight at any rate, why I started writing and why I've continued.

It's a quote by R.A Salvatore and is says;

“If you can quit, then quit. If you can't quit, you're a writer.”

I can't quit. I wouldn't know what else to do with all the words clamouring to get out of my head.

#Ask Game #Ask Answered #Writer Asks #Ari Speaks #Magic-Is-Something-We-Create

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tsukikoayanosuke · 3 years

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7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 16, 27, 35 & 39

[It’s a lot again 😅 hope you don’t mind :D]

I might be going way too far with these answers, so please bear with me ^^’

Sorry for the long rambles but these are my answers!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oof. This is hard. There’s actually a lot of paragraphs that I like throughout the writing process. I can re-read and just pick which is my favorite, it’ll be different every time.

But, I think the thing currently going on with TW:OPT can be summed up in this Once Upon a Time… (I was being dumb and I thought prose is just poetry without rhyme)

So, this drabble is written on the run. There’s not really deep thought and I can’t even remember why I wrote it in the first place. From the date I posted it on Tumblr it was in the middle of Octavinelle Arc.

But, in this small crappy prose-poetry, it has one of the themes in TW:OPT: happy vs sad ending. This is something that I want to build since in the early stage. The theme of TW:OPT is second chances for the reincarnated villains, giving them a happy ending, something way better than the original ones.

So, if you look for example the two lines about the Queen of Heart:

The Queen of Heart was forgotten by Alice like it was just a bad dream

The Queen of Heart will always be remembered by Alice as his dear friend and the greatest queen

The first line is what happens to the original Disney Alice’s Queen of Hearts, while the second line is what happens to Riddle, the current reincarnation of the Queen of Hearts. It’s a good change for Riddle’s life.

However, like everything, there has to be something to balance it.

After all, good endings cannot exist without bad endings.

Can the good guys really live with the bad guys in harmony? After all, all Disney movie always has “good wins, evil lose” theme. If the “evil side” wins, wouldn’t that mean the “good side” loses? Is that even a good thing or even possible?

After all, the One-Eyed Captain found his happy ending to sail away once again. What will happen to him in his next life?

This line becomes the question. What will happen to the already-set happy endings? Would they just disappear to change into bad endings to keep the balance?

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m debating between many dialogues, but I think the one piece I’m most proud of is in Chapter 97. I'm cutting a lot of the narration and just focus on the dialogues because it becomes too long.

Riddle: What happens that day? The day when everything went downhill. Azul: Didn't anyone tell you already? Riddle: I want to hear it from your or Jonah's mouth. What happened that you must curse him? Azul: Pretty simple, really. I told him not to come here that day, and he did To make it worse, that boy was stupid enough to go back against our agreement. Riddle: Just that? Azul: Oh, please, dear Crimson Ruler. I don't want to hear that from you. Have you forgotten about your reign before? Riddle: I know what I did was tyrannical, but I want to be better. Azul: Because of the captain told you too? Riddle: No. This is my choice to change. Just like it was your choice to curse him. He trusts you, you know? He knows that you wouldn't go back against your own words, which was why he was willing to sign another contract with you. Azul: If he trusts me that much, why is he against me? If he trusts me, why did he choose to save his stupid friends than agreeing with me? Tell me, Riddle Rosehearts...Why does he choose you instead of me?

We all know what happened during Octavinelle Arc and I don't deny that this sounds cheesy or slightly ooc. And let me just say this, there's no intention of this become a love triangle or whatsoever.

There are two things I want to highlight in this exchange: Riddle's growth and Azul's decline.

Riddle, after everything happened in Heartslabyul and Savanclaw arc, finally putting his foot down on where he wants to stand. He wants to be a better person, more than just the feared Crimson Tyrant. That's why he's helping them. Not because the boys are breaking the rules, not because someone tells him to, but Riddle is willing to risk it all, even his unique magic (as we see at the end of this chapter and the next) to save his friends. Again, this might sound ooc and I apologize, but from my perspective, this is a logical step of development for Riddle.

Meanwhile, Azul is showing more and more decline from this until the end of Octavinelle Arc even Scarabia Arc. For Azul who knows how easy people can leave and mock when you have nothing, seeing Jonah leave him and siding with the anemones is basically a betrayal. He can't think rationally when it comes to the betrayal and we see how brash he can be with anything related to Jonah throughout the arc where all of their interaction nearly kills Jonah.

If Riddle-Jonah is a coming-of-age story, Azul-Jonah is a broken friendship story.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

This is a hard one to write. You might think I’ll just answer with TW:OPT, but honestly, all multi chapters fanfic has their own difficulties, so I can’t choose which is the hardest.

For Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure, where I do treat this as a novel-writing practice, keeping the consistency with the theme, plot points, and characterization.

For Private Tutor, Angel of Death, Philza Minecraft, actually coming up with new ideas is hard because I don’t based this on anything, and just write anything once a week. In addition that I’m still new in Dream SMP fandom so characterization won’t be the strongest thing.

For both TWST MC Hybrid AU and Magical Girl AU, giving the massive cast equal spotlight and actually not getting lost is quite a challenge. Both AU has seven main characters and I need to give them the same amount to screen time.

And don’t get me started with those smut. I won’t be talking about it because I’m keeping it family friendly. Those has their own problems XD

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

As I said, every fic has their own problems, even one shot. So, I’m looking through my works and trying to figure out which fic I wrote the fastest but had the most fun.

I think I’ll go with A Wish for a Proposal because the comfort in this fic with Ace going heads over heels for Deuce and being doki-doki all the time. And the kiss under a shooting star, AH! Poetic cinema~

I do enjoy when I wrote how Ace thought keeping a toy ring as childish but he ended up using it to confess to Deuce and thinking that it’s not as childish as he thought.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

There are good writing advice that I had head, one of them came from On Writing: Great Character Descriptions! by Hello Future Me. He has so many good advices in writing and I highly recommend him.

He said that “when describing characters it’s good to focus on their movements that can tell the readers of who the characters are”. As someone who has many troubles in writing physical description, this is actually a great alternative, especially when you want to go thought the “show don’t tell”.

After watching the video I tried to write something. I ended up writing Jonah’s father, Benjamin, in Chapter 137

The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname. Benjamin Argentum was a man with slouched back from the burden of the world, white strands on his reddish-brown hair and tired, but kind, black eyes. He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days. The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather, along with the delicious appetizer that he had prepared a few minutes ago on the reception table. The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen. There was no way all of these were coincidences. Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.

I want to highlight how Benjamin is a kind old man ("He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days”, ”The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather”) but has his own problems (”a man with slouched back from the burden of the world”), and very similar to Jonah (”The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname”, ”The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen”, “Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.”)

It’s not the best descriptions, because most of the example used highlight only one most recognizable feature while my description highlight nearly everything. I still need some practice.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

“Write what’s mainstream”.

Here’s my problem with it: sometimes anything that’s mainstream is not my thing. I like to challenge what we are given and give it a spin.

I mentioned before that growing up with Indonesian TV Series that only centers around love, riches, and cheating, I grew tired of it. That was why I once tried to make a script for a group of friends creating a classical music band and mental problems.

I’m not the first one to make an adaptation of TWST, but I think I’m one of the first, at least in AO3, that make an adaptation with Male MC. Among the Female MC or Female Readers story with a hint (or too much) of Romance, I want to give something for the small group who wants Male MC or something more platonic to read.

I always want to push slightly further, trying something that I haven’t seen at first glance, giving varieties. I will admit that would always doubt whether me writing something different is even worth it or not. But when I saw that yes, this is worth it, I gain more confidence and become bolder in my twist.

Going against the mainstream is risky, but we'll see whether it's worth it or not.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh no... Does it have to be a romantic pairing?

Okay. I don't really have an OTP. I mean, I like ROnah and JonAzul, but I don't think I can't live with writing only about them.

So, romantically, I don’t know. But, this doesn’t help with platonically either because I find enjoyment in writing all relationship. Just pushing the limit of my writing, you know?

So, I don’t think I can answer this because I’m a coward XD

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

A mixed bag.

So currently I'm in at least 2 collab projects: TWST MC Hybrid AU and Arisu in Alternate Wonderland. In the former, I'm the group leader, while in the latter, I'm just a writer.

Both sidea are different experiences. With AiAW, it's definitely lighter because this is basically retelling TWST but with seven Yuus. However because of this freedom and the possibilities of anything, I cannot predict whether my oc action will affects in the future or how they would interact with other ocs in the project.

With Hybrid AU, since this is a fantasy au, anything can happen. Plus as the main writer, I can see and plan clearly which event will be important and setting the characters' arc. It's definitely harder to organize because of the various idea that we want to write.

So, yeah. Collaboration can be two things for me: a scripted roleplay or a freestyle roleplay

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

*looking at draft for TW:OPT Book 2*

Maybe...?

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I remember when I was a kid, I wrote a fanfiction where it only features OCs, and someone gave a review, ranting about the lack of canon characters. I, of course, sulked a bit but then just keep writing.

However, what I usually do when it comes to comments is take them into considerations. During Scarabia Arc I got a comment that the Jonah-Azul therapy moment is kinda weak, and rereading it, I can see that. Which was why the next part of the therapy Arc I tried to connect them further. So compare the JonAzul scene in the last part of Chapter 124 with the first part of Chapter 126. At least for me, I prefer the latter because there's more intimacy.

#40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers #the captain is answering!#the captain's rambling

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jebazzled · 4 years

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Level Up! Upcycling an Intermediate App

Hello friends and welcome to another unsolicited writing tutorial, aka my bread and butter! Today we’re going to build off of ground covered in my earlier tutorial, Level Up! Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced RP and You.

As always, I’d like to point out that there is nothing wrong with being a writer more naturally suited for intermediate sites! But if you’re looking to write in the more ~advanced or ~literary space, you will need to adjust your writing to fit the community standard. While your writing will likely improve over time as you write with more advanced writers, step one to threading in such a community is getting an app accepted there.

In today’s tutorial, I’ll be talking about how to revise an existing intermediate application to make it more suited for an advanced site. Let’s begin!

As a staffer on an advanced site, the note I most often have for applications that we pend or decline is: this feels very telly.

I don’t mean “telly” as in Telly the Sesame Street character:

I mean “telly” as in extraordinarily expository.

An intermediate freestyle application often looks like a straight-up timeline of a character’s history, delivered without much style or voice. It might feel like a Wikipedia article, or a very long explanation like you might see in a shipper.

I often find that it can help streamline the writing process to write a handful of telling anecdotes, rather than rehashing a character’s complete history, infancy to present. More on that in my freestyle application tutorial here!

But if you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around anecdotal-style applications, particularly if you’re accustomed to application formats that have you write a “history” section as opposed to a freestyle, you can improve upon your current app to make it more suited for an advanced site. It will take some work, and certainly more than ten minutes of it. Writing on a “reach” site can be very rewarding, but only if you’re willing to put in the effort.

TELLING

Before we solve the problem of “telly” writing, we need to establish what “telly” writing is. For purposes of this tutorial, I’ll be using my one application that is a full rehashing of character history. Below is a “telly” take on Sadie Shunpike:

Sadie grew up in a working-class neighborhood of London with her twin brother, Sam. Neither of her parents were very good at magic, but hid their insecurity in the belief that any magic at all made them better than their Muggle neighbors. Sadie and Sam weren’t educated at the local primary school, but were homeschooled by their mother until they could read. From there, Sadie and Sam would check out books from the local library and teach themselves, with Sadie helping Sam.

Sadie was very smart, but Sam struggled more with learning. As they got older, Sadie started to read books she ordered from Flourish and Blott’s, learning about magical theory. Sam started to show signs of magic, which he hid from Sadie. When they turned eleven, it became clear that Sadie was a squib. She resented Sam for being magical, especially when he went to Hogwarts and needed Sadie’s help to do his homework. Sadie continued to educate herself.

Sadie developed an interest in the Dark Arts and got mixed up with Death Eaters in a research and study group she attended at Flourish and Blott’s. One of them promised her a Ministry job and ensured her safety if she acted as a spy in the Ministry for the Death Eaters. Later, she got placed into a safehouse, and began to spy on the safehouse network for the Death Eaters.

This tells you a lot about what Sadie has been up to, but doesn’t tell you much about Sadie, or about my skill as a writer, or about how someone else might expect Sadie to behave in threads. There is no voice, no personality, no interest - just rote explanation.

As a staffer on an advanced site, when I see an app like the above, I know I will be pending or declining the application. The question I ask when making that distinction is: is the character development strong enough to merit working with the writer on the prose? Is the prose strong enough to merit working with the writer on the character development?

If the writing itself or the character development is there, it can make sense to help guide the writer - though this is more the case with character development issues than with prose. Character development can be improved with specific notes and adjustments, whereas generally speaking, improving prose is a gradual process over time.

It is entirely possible that a writer might have much better prose in their threads than in their application! However, your application serves here as a writing sample. which is why it is imperative that it be good writing on its own. I have said it before and I will say it again: I don’t care how much you hate writing apps, lmao! You’ve got to write a good one if you want to do well on sites that use them!

SHOWING

Writing communities are always talking about show vs. tell. Unless you’re writing stage directions, it is always better to show than to tell - or at least, there aren’t enough exceptions to the rule that you shouldn’t be aiming primarily to show.

So how do you communicate a character history without making it too telly?

DESCRIPTION

Here, I’ve described Sadie’s neighborhood as “working-class” and left it at that. What if I went into a little more detail? Explained to you what I imagine when I imagine her upbringing, and shared with you what’s going on in my head between the lines?

In a small, shabby house in a small, shabby suburb, a small and shabby family lives a small and shabby life. Samuel Shunpike, Sr. sells advertisements for the Daily Prophet, tossing a handful of Floo powder into the minuscule fireplace in the sitting room every morning and getting ash on the threadbare round braided rug every night.

This has more flavor, doesn’t it? The repetition of “small, shabby” is a deliberate style choice that communicates an idea of how I write in practice when I’m being ~artsy, and the image of a man in a shabby suit crawling into his fireplace and messing up an already messed-up rug builds Sadie’s father as an NPC that will come into play later in her app. Dynamic NPCs - whose actions impact your character, who are more than wooden cutouts - help build the fictional world of your character’s life. They don’t even need to be vital to playing your character - I’ve never really had anyone in Sadie’s family in play onsite, despite how heavily her brother figures into her character development - but they can be very useful in understanding your character.

DIALOGUE

Ha, irony, that dialogue can make an app less telly! Dialogue gives your reader an idea of how your character interacts with the world in concrete situations, not merely in the abstract. It also helps build the dynamic NPCs that make your character’s history feel more real, and feel like something that genuinely impacted them rather than something manufactured for plot.

While the Shunpikes are nobodies in the circle of wizarding society, Margie and Samuel Sr take comfort in the fact that they do have one thing making them better than the Muggles who live the small shabby lives on either side of them: the Shunpikes are magic. small, shabby magic, but magic nevertheless. "You lot are better than this," Margie says, smoking a pipe on the stoop, gesturing at the sidewalk where children walk to school with their parents. Sam and Sadie don't take their eyes off their Exploding Snap game. It's no use arguing with Margie, they know. When she goes inside, grumbling about Muggle trash, Sam and Sadie train their eyes on the walk outside. The parade of children their age, all wearing matching khakis and polo shirts. "What do you think they get up to?" Sam asks, glancing at Sadie. "Same as us, i imagine," she says, "but probably, y'know, more guided."

This brief vignette tells us a few things:

Margie Shunpike, Sadie’s mother, is mean, and relies on what little magic she has to feel like she has worth

Sam looks to Sadie for leadership/guidance

Neither of these are specifically about Sadie, but having this background information about her mother seen in action rather than merely mentioned will impact how we digest the news that Sadie is a squib. Sam, as a recurring NPC, will inform how we see Sadie develop, and seeing his changing relationship with her will give another metric for the reader of how Sadie has changed.

DETAILS

Details build your world, make it feel more real. When I wrote earlier that Sadie ordered books from Flourish & Blott’s, they could have been any books - they could have been the magical equivalent of ABC “First Concept” books - they could have been magical erotica. Don’t details tell you a lot about a person? If I tell you that Renee Rye Bread reads 50 books a year, what have you learned about her? What if I clarify that it’s 50 romance novels? 50 crime dramas? 50 political biographies?

When Sam and Sadie were younger, Margie would sit them together at the kitchen table and clumsily teach them letters and numbers. Once they could put together sentences and basic sums, she happily stepped back and let them figure it out on their own. On an average day, Sam and Sadie will watch the parade of schoolchildren, finish a game of Exploding Snap or Wizard's Chess, eat an early lunch, and spend the rest of the day doing their best to get an education. Sadie tries the hardest, dragging Sam with her to the Muggle library around the corner to read Muggle fiction and do basic research on whatever catches her fancy. She saves her allowance and coins from doing chores for the neighbors and orders secondhand books from the Flourish & Blotts catalog, poring over wizarding texts and trying to make sense of magic beyond even her parents' meager skill. Sam sometimes gives her his sickles, too. He isn't doing anything with them, and everything makes more sense with her in charge.

These details - what Sadie and Sam’s homeschooling looks like, Sadie’s attitude towards books and learning, Sam’s support in her academic endeavors - are building blocks in your understanding of Sadie’s personality. She is driven, self-directed, curious. She doesn’t ask Sam for his input. She is, perhaps, a little selfish.

DIORAMA

Trying to keep to a “D” theme here for an easy mnemonic device here! What I mean by “diorama” is that even in an app not specifically built around anecdotes it is good to provide a few key slices of the character’s life - a clear window into specific scenes and moments. What strikes you as more impactful: me telling you, “there’s a scene in Heathers (1988) where Veronica’s boyfriend has put a bomb under the bleachers during a pep rally. It’s fine, it doesn’t go off,” or me describing to you: “the gym is full of stamping feet and shouting cheerleaders; no one could hear Veronica and JD fighting under the stands even if they were interested. The bomb is beeping so loudly but no one is paying attention, no one can hear it. It’s a pep rally and everyone is cheering at their own wake.”

Rather than saying:

Sam started to show signs of magic, which he hid from Sadie. When they turned eleven, it became clear that Sadie was a squib. She resented Sam for being magical, especially when he went to Hogwarts and needed Sadie’s help to do his homework. Sadie continued to educate herself.

I went with the below:

In June, Sam is sitting in the kitchen while Sadie makes a solo trip to the library, folding paper airplanes and flying them with no success. After a dozen failures, however, he watches in amazement as a piece of notebook paper folds itself up into a perfect airplane and flies around the room on its own. He's done magic, and he has no idea how. And he keeps it a secret from his parents, but more importantly, from Sadie, who he now knows is not going to be coming with him to Hogwarts after all. Later that week, while the family is tucking into ham sandwiches for dinner, the owl arrives, and Sam's stomach sinks when Sadie proudly carries it from the sitting room window into the kitchen on her forearm. She unties the letter from its leg, looks at the front of the envelope, grinning. Samuel Sr and Margie see a shadow pass over their daughter's face for half a heartbeat before she slowly hands the envelope to her brother. But Sam sees it all: her smile cracking like broken china, her eyes widen just a little, the furrow in her eyebrow. He catches the hitch in her voice as she congratulates him. He senses her anxiety in the lightspeed jiggle of her left foot under the table, as he stares at the letter, unable to make sense of the words, as worried as he is about Sadie. She excuses herself early, and Samuel Sr and Margie exchange a look, as if they've forgotten Sam is there. Sam doesn't know what any of them were expecting, but it wasn't this. The next few days, during which Sadie does not speak to him at all, are the longest of his life. Then, one morning, as he sits at the kitchen table having a silent breakfast with Samuel Sr and Margie - who are still flabbergasted to have a squib in the family - she comes down the stairs from their shared attic bedroom. She sits across from Sam at the table as if nothing has happened. She helps herself to a slice of toast from the stack on a plate in the middle of the table, and takes a piece of bacon off Sam's plate. "Since i won't be going to Hogwarts as expected," she says, folding the toast to make a sandwich and taking an enormous bite, "I'll need to arrange for a more formal education.” She swallows her bite and pours herself a glass of orange juice. “I’m happy with our current method of self-directed study, of course, but - i intend to supplement it with the odd lecture or class audit in the city.”

We get a few things here:

Sam’s anxiety/guilt about being the magical one, a dynamic that informs how Sadie will use him later

Sadie quickly hiding her actual emotions and performing fake ones, which comes up later when she manipulates people at the Ministry and in safehouses as a spy for the Death Eaters

Sadie’s decision making, which doesn’t allow room for input, feedback, or disagreement

Think of your favorite books and characters. If a novelist gave you a quick description of a character in one paragraph, you wouldn’t feel the close connection to them that you feel after reading even just a few chapters of them acting, reacting, interacting. Of course we don’t have as much time for that in an app as we do in a novel, but there’s a happy medium between the shallow understanding we get from pure exposition and the deep one we get from 50,000 words and a hardcover.

IN PRACTICE: HOW DO???

So we’ve got our intermediate app. We’ve got our Four D’s: Description, Dialogue, Details, Diorama. We’ve got an advanced site we are lusting over.

How do we Frankenstein this all together?

STEP ONE: REREAD YOUR ORIGINAL APP

Give her a look. Get the basics in your head. Think about how you might be able to repurpose this writing for your shipper. Because, hey! It’s already done! And at least in my experience on advanced sites, shippers are a TL;DR for your app, so a quick expository jaunt through the highlights fits the bill just peachy.

But you’re not going to be able to work from that app directly for version two, okay? Be honest with yourself. How much do you ever revise things? Because this isn’t a “change a word, add one (1) sentence,” project. This is an overhaul.

Like I’ve said! Going from intermediate to advanced is HARD WORK!

STEP TWO: GET WRITING

Start writing that app from scratch. Think about the Four D’s.

If you’re approaching this as a straight history of your character, have at it wherever you want to get started. But before you move on to the next phase, address your Four D’s.

Susie was a difficult baby.

STOP! Give me the D. Was her nursery hyperfeminine? Did her nannies gossip about her parents behind their backs? Was Susie a fussy baby, or was she sickly? Show me her cold and distant mother awkwardly holding her before passing her off to her father!

If none of these D’s feel important to this phase of the character’s life: don’t include it in the app! A character history does not need to cover every minute! You can just hit the important phases, and you should! Believe me: staff usually do not want to hear about how mom and dad met each other unless it actually has a major bearing on Susie’s life!

Once you’ve given the moment its due (Due, the fifth D), move on to the next, and consider the D’s every time.

STEP THREE: REREAD & REVISE

Before you submit your app, give it another look. You’ve likely done a lot of character development between your original application and the fully-overhauled version. Is your characterization consistent? Do your character’s motives make sense? Have you left any gaping holes in their story? Look back at your shipper, especially if you used your original application to build it out. Does it align with the new application? What edits do you need on the shipper to have it describe the same person as your app?

STEP FOUR: PROFIT

Obviously, as with anything else, your mileage may vary. It might take a few tries, or even a few different characters to land on something that works for an advanced site. But the practice of implementing the five D’s - and keeping them in mind subsequently as you post with and develop your character - will be instrumental in growing your abilities as a writer, and isn’t that what this is all about? Wishing you all the best in writing as in life - let me know how you’re doing, and what other tutorials you’d like to see from me. Cheers, and happy writing!

#rp guides #resources #writing resources #rp writing #applications

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box-bunny-grey · 4 years

Text

Hey remember when I talked about a video game and didn’t edit what I wrote? Guess what I’m doing again

So decided to see if I can’t make a habit of talking about games I finish here and there.

So here’s me talking about 13 Sentinels.

Gonna do my best to be non-spoiler too.

So 13 Sentinels is the latest game from Vanillaware, a company I’ve enjoyed a lot of games from (Muramasa: Rebirth, Odin Sphere, Dragon’s Crown) and is pretty heavy divergence from the ones I’ve played. I’m straight up just going to ramble on here in an order of events that makes sense to me. Also this is like just right after finishing the game so I might be general about some things/completely wrong.

Once you get past the prologue, you’ll have access to two gameplay modes, which you can choose at your leisure, provided you’ve met the requirements to unlock them (explained later in the story section).

Gameplay

13 Sentinels is, at its core, a tower defense game. You have a terminal you have to defend and, depending on the map, in addition to a city, whereyou either have the option of holding out for two minutes or taking out your enemies, the kaiju. The exception is generally boss levels, whose only goal is do defeat the boss enemy.

Your tools in defending your Terminal are the afformentioned 13 Sentinels, where you pause the game to make commands but otherwise the rest of the game functions in real time. Sentinels are divided into 4 generations and their pilots.

Generation 1 sentinels are your melee fighters. They get up close to the enemy and clobber them for big damage, and these are usually what you’ll be bringing in to deal with bigger, more armored kaiju. Their toolkit can lead to some interesting combinations. For instance, they have access to a buff that can massively increase their attack and movement speed but also massively increase damage taken, or massively increase defense but take a hit to their movement speed. They also have the ability to jump around the arena to smash smaller enemies while moving up to their targets. Finally, they have access to anti-air flares and EMPs to ground aerial units (which they generally have no was to attack unless they do so). A quirk of their EMPs is that they also function as a taunt, if a Gen 1 uses their EMP the kaiju will focus target them.

Generation 3 (we’ll get 2 for a reason later) are the opposite of Gen 1. Generation 3 are your long range units, able to use EMPs in a wide range with no taunt attached, along with rail cannons and a variety of missiles. Initially the Gen 3s might seem like the most powerful units, as in early game their ability to clear massive swaths of early kaiju seems overpowered. But as the game goes on you’ll find that while they’re excellent support fighters and crowd clearing units, some high level enemies will either have so much health or anti-missile tactics that you’ll realize the strength of your other generations for dealing with these situations. But as said, these units are great for clearing out massive swaths, and while not as powerful as the other generations in dealing with certain massive enemies can hold their own regardless.

Generation 4 are most support units. While able to stand on their to some extent, their primary focus will usually be applying shields and spawning interceptor drones, and dropping mines to impede kaiju advance. In addition, some can even draw enemies into a gravity pool to set up other sentinels to take them out in one fell swoop. Though depending on how you build you can also use them for some melee abilities, especially with one pilot’s passives, both mech and otherwise. Gen 4 are also the only flying sentinel, so if they have to be somewhere they can get faster and more directly than other sentinels.

I saved Gen 2 for last because they are all rounders, and thus have access to melee, ranged, and support abilities. Though they do not excel as any of the others do, and thus their abilities may incur higher cost, sacrifice range, or have a longer cooldown. Gen 2 however is not simply a lesser version, and that difference comes in their support. All Gen 2 support comes in the form of various stationary summons. Including a shield generator, healing generator, sentry turrets, and perhaps most valuable guardians. Guardians are the only way other than Gen 1 EMP to force kaiju to target something, but instead of one of your sentinels it is instead a dummy, thus allowing your melee units to sneak in a back attack or simply take the heat away from other units.

You have access to 3 of each generation, with the exception of generation 4 which was 4 sentinels. Each sentinel as said has a different pilot, and this allows you to build their arsenal differently to suit their strengths. For instance, as above I stated a Generation 4 can be melee built. This is due to some of the pilots skills (for instance, one where their stats get higher as more kaiju surround them) and passives for their mech which means low damage attacks of smaller kaiju can’t hurt them, and they can even counter those moves against them. Combine that with an armor piercing melee attack and point blank aoe missile attack and this support unit might wind up patrolling around the battlefield as much as your Generation 1s.

Other abilities of note could be that certain pilots get a stat increase if they’re far away from allies, or nearby other ones of note, or using the defensive action leading to a buff for the active team. While it all seems overwhelming at first the game eases you into different generations and kaiju types, that by the time you have access to the game proper post-prologue you’ll at least have an idea of what each unit can do, and even if you don’t chatter in between battles will suggest you give some thought to other systems.

In addition, how the game does ranking is interesting. Rather than having ranking and score intertwined, the ranking system is determined by how much damage sentinels, the city, and the terminal took. In addition, there are separate bonus objectives which are usually using certain characters or generations of sentinel, and/or either clearing the map in a set amount of time or without something taking a particular amount of damage (sentinels, city, or terminal). Getting maximum rank (S) and completing bonus objectives unlocks extra lore in the archives, while score is simply bragging rights to comboing together a lot of attacks.

Another feature exists in which once you get past the tutorials, pilots can only fight a certain number of times on the active party before needing to take a break. Thankfully the game gives the ability to recover all exhaustion of pilots if a bonus objective calls for it, and the only advantage to paying attention to this feature is a score bonus multiplier.

In short, the game does a great job of separating the meta version of the game (racking up maximum score) from fun challenge intended to be done for lore.

Story

Like I said trying to avoid spoilers so this might be short.

While the battles are their own part of the story, the general story portion of 13 Sentinels is its own, visual novel style section. After the prologue you’ll have unlocked about eight of the thirteen stories, and gotten an idea of each of these character’s goals. As you move on you’ll unlock the remaining 13, and play an interesting balancing act.

See, the stories have a point where you’ll be cut off from it, and either will have to do other stories or the Sentinel gameplay sections (Sentinel gameplay areas also function like this). It helps keep a good balance in the non-linear narrative, so reveals tend to come naturally as getting farther in certain stories will elaborate on revelations of the story that unlocks them.

It’s a fun ride and the stories have neat variety both in protagonists and structure. Unfortunately in the interest of keeping away from spoilers is why this section isn’t very big. I’d say if you even have a passing interest in sci-fi or mecha I think you’ll enjoy it.

Oh yeah also don’t worry about missing things in the story. The game does a good job of making sure you get everything, so if you see stories you think you missed it’s either something you’ll be able to do later OR an event that can be summed up as “well we accomplished nothing that sucks.”

Nitpicks

Really, I only have two issues with the game, and I can honestly say both are nitpicks.

The only gameplay problem I have is that the game doesn’t really tell you the difference between maxed out systems (your moves) and maxed out sentinel upgrades (your stats). The best way I can put it is this: systems level up to level 8 maximum. Sentinel upgrades level up to 999. So would have liked an indicator to that.

The other is a story problem and the best way I can think to put it is this: early on these are more that one character has discovered a truth of the world and the reason you’re cut off is you need to understand what’s happening with the other character’s story, or to have a good momentum of reveals. But as the story goes on, probably at about the 75% mark, stories start interrupting each other and the ping ponging is less teasing out hints and more because the character you were just playing as isn’t technically the protagonist of that plot point. I say this because some sections were light on this overlap as what was going on in the main story of one character was background for another, so they sometimes get a little messy as they overlap properly. It doesn’t hurt the game’s story tremendously and only happens a few times, but it did take me out of it when it did happen.

Really that’s it for negatives.

Is good game would recommend.

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years

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Defined by the Things She Loves: A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 7th Studio Album, ‘Lover.’

Contrary to popular belief and misconception, Taylor Swift has always been more of a lover than a fighter. Yes, she can be a fighter, but only when she feels she has no choice. Often times, the combative side of her is brought out as a means to protect her ability to love. “Combat, I’m ready for combat. I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?” is how Swift opens up the vulnerable fifth track from her new album, Lover, titled “The Archer,” in which she explores her automatic defenses when things go well, because how can they possibly stay that way? This is an incessant fear of Swift’s, as seen through her personal diary entries included in the 4 different deluxe versions of the album. In deluxe album 2, there is an entry from 21-year-old Taylor that says: “This ridiculous thing happens to me when I’m this happy...I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen.”

She then counters her own negative thinking: “But I’m trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Every day, every minute. I’m grateful for being happy right this moment.” In the foreword for this album, Swift notes how a majority of these diary entries actually do document her taking a moment to cherish the small joys in her life: “I wrote about tiny details in my life in these diaries from a bygone age with such...wonderment. Intrigue. Romance. I noticed things and decided they were romantic, and so they were.” And not much has changed. Even on reputation (2017), an album that evokes a combative stance, or so it seemed to the naked eye, she still always finds the romance in life. Coincidentally, reputation is an album in which the general public took around 2 years to admit was actually good. In a lot of ways, it felt like the reputation era was deliberate in that sense, as if Taylor only trusted her loyal fans to get what she was trying to say and do, almost not wanting the skeptics and overly zealous critics to see what was underneath the armor. All the reviews of reputation slammed it as an album about her infamous feuds, and although they are of course addressed famously on songs such as “Look What You Made Me Do,” “I Did Something Bad,” and “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” and sprinkled a little more here and there throughout, that was more of a distraction to the actual inspiration: love. Almost every other track on reputation explores her anxiety and relief around her newfound relationship at the time with British actor Joe Alwyn. It’s really a love story about finding someone who sees you for who you really are, rather than how the world is painting you.

On Lover, Swift takes command of the paintbrush, trying to get the world to see her the way her “lover” and her fans have the whole time. In “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” from reputation, Swift sings, “deep blue, but you painted me golden.” On “Daylight,” Lover’s closer, she describes love as golden like daylight. “Step into the daylight and let it go,” she almost whispers. She’s shedding her snakeskin, and she is ready for people to see her in all her loving and golden glory.

Swift is a storyteller like no other pop singer this generation, and so it would feel wrong to skip any chapter of this beautiful story. And thus, please join me in the track-by-track breakdown of the triumphant and magical Lover.

01. I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED

“How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?” she opens the album, seemingly reflecting on the reputation era and image. She revels in the magical feeling of forgetting that someone who wronged you even existed; obviously not forever, but just for even a single moment when you’ve realized, “Ah, I’ve made it to indifference! How wonderful!” She laughs and becomes more playful as the song progresses, showing her relief, although not exactly her freedom. In a recent interview with CBS Sunday morning, Swift asserts, "You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don't. You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on." This sentiment is evident throughout the song, and in the nonchalant way she ends it by going, “so...yeah...” As in, yes the drama has affected me, but I’ve come to terms with it, so let’s move on, shall we? And so, we shall!

02. CRUEL SUMMER

Sometimes, listening to a song can feel like electrocution. “Cruel Summer” is an immediate shock to the system following the bubbly first track. Suddenly, for 2 minutes and 58 seconds, we’re transported back into the anxiety of reputation, but through a different lens. Chronicling what seems to be a fraught start to her current relationship, Swift seems to be suffocating under her own emotions, trying to play it casual and cool, however against her nature. The production is astounding, and it is one of her most intriguing songs to date. Each lyric can be analyzed again and again from a new perspective, leaving you to wonder more and more. (And what so significant happened at a vending machine that she felt the need to include it in this story?) At the climax of the song, she admits that she can no longer keep her feelings secret, and has to risk telling him how she feels, even if that means losing him. “I scream, ‘for whatever it’s worth, I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’” she shouts in the bridge. Earlier in the track she states that “devils roll the dice,” and after her dicey proclamation of love she tells the audience that “he looks up grinning like a devil,” as if he were to say, “Of course I love you back, I rolled the dice for it to be so, didn’t I?” The entire song can be interpreted in a multitude of ways, but one thing is certain: the summer may have been cruel, but it was all love come the fall.

03. LOVER

The best-received and final pre-release, the title track is an ode to her main muse for this album. “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” she wonders, before asking to be with her lover forever and ever. She’s felt like she’s known him for almost her whole life, and wants to spend the rest of it with him, too. So much so that the bridge sounds like Swift’s (future? past? are they secretly married?) wedding vows, especially with the play on words for something borrowed and blue. The song even sounds like it’s being played by a wedding band with the use of live instruments. Although it has been pushed as a single and is destined to be a wedding song for many couples to come, I unfortunately cannot see it having the same success as Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” or “Perfect,” despite its superior lyrics and greater emotional depth. And why might that be, you ask? Great segue into the next track...

04. THE MAN

It’s really a staggering thought experiment to think of how Taylor Swift’s career would be perceived if she was a man. I could write a novel on this, but Taylor did a pretty good job of summing it up in a 3-minute pop song: if she was a man, she’d be THE man. This is without question the truth. The woman has 10 Grammys and countless other accolades, she has written her own music since the beginning of time (her third album, Speak Now [2010], was entirely self-written, no co-writers). Yet she is continually ridiculed and mocked for things for which men are praised. Swift sings the song slickly in her very comfortable alto-range, which feels purposeful. It feels oddly powerful to hear Taylor Swift sing the word “bitch” twice in one song, which not only hearkens back to her defense for the infamous Kimye call, but for a moment really highlights the distinguished usages of the word “bitch,” forcing you to really consider why we let men just get away with it. And yes, the song’s take on misogyny is pretty surface level, but Taylor herself only has to deal with it on such a level, so we have to work with what we’ve got. Either way, I don’t think I’ll ever be over the line, “I’d be just like Leo in Saint-Tropez.” Someone had to say it, and she did!

05. THE ARCHER

The third pre-release from Lover, “The Archer” is a slow-build examination of Swift’s role in her relationships, both with others and herself. We have never seen this side of Taylor, but it feels like we were waiting for it all along, like we needed it. It’s very rare that someone as successful as Swift lays out their deepest flaws and insecurities for the world, other than Lorde on “Liability,” also co-produced and written by Jack Antonoff. “I never grew up, it’s getting so old,” she says, echoing a common criticism of the way she has dealt with feuds or breakups publicly. “The Archer” is placed at track 5, a track that Swift has historically reserved for the most vulnerable song on the album. The bridge officially earns this spot; it is simple and simultaneously one of her best ever, as she transitions from, “They see right through me” to “Can you see right through me?” and then finally to an agonizing “I see right through me.” Swift’s self-awareness is painfully relatable, as she pleads, “help me hold onto you,” after each pre-chorus as an important reminder that sometimes we need to ask for help in order to grow.

06. I THINK HE KNOWS

It almost feels like whiplash going from the vulnerability of “The Archer” to a song that has the line, “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand!” But it’s a fun type of whiplash, as if Taylor is saying “wipe your tears and let’s skip down 16th avenue together.” What is admirable about Swift’s craft is that she is able to mature and cover maybe more sexual topics in her music while still keeping it discrete enough for her younger audience. “Where we gonna go? I think he knows,” feels like a wink to the camera (microphone?) moment. And yes, Taylor, we do know. Happy for you, girl.

07. MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE

Many deemed Lover’s second single, “You Need to Calm Down,” along with its Video of the Year winning music video, which explicitly outlines her support for LGBTQ rights, as an outright opportunistic ploy to win over liberal music consumers rather than a genuine showing of solidarity. The unflashy “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince” proves that Swift means business. The casual listener might not realize the subject matter right away as it masked underneath school tropes and cheerleader chants. Quite effectively, Swift uses high school as a metaphor for the current political state. This song could be better explained through a 7 page MLA formatted essay, but in short, it’d be helpful to take note of Swift’s recent explanation and regret for her silence during the 2016 election. The lyric “they whisper in the hallway, ‘she’s a bad, bad girl,’” echoes the similarities between Swift and Hillary Clinton that she outlined to Vogue. It is refreshing to hear Taylor write about something perhaps out of her comfort zone with the same eloquence and strength as she would about topics she’s been writing about for years, and her message is clear: she is against the current president and administration, and always has been. “Boys will be boys, then where are the wise men? Darling, I’m scared,” she sings frantically. Me too, Taylor.

08. PAPER RINGS

Quite like “Lover,” this song feels timeless. “Paper Rings” is a series of quips, connecting the moon being high to his friends, her cold wine to her cold shoulder, and feeling blue to the color they painted his brother’s wall. There’s quite a charming sigh after she chants that she will kiss him a third time “’cause you waited your whole life,” and then proceeds to proclaim that she would marry her lover even with paper rings. With the upbeat, musical number like rhythm and the line, “I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this,” this track is destined to be in romantic comedy films until the end of time, as it should.

09. CORNELIA STREET

Out of all 18 tracks on Lover, “Cornelia Street” is the most reminiscent of Taylor’s staple songwriting, and self-written at that. A beautiful, lengthy retelling of the “sacred new beginnings” of her relationship, the song centers around the street on which she rented an apartment in 2016. She swears if she lost him, she’d never walk the street again. Once again, Taylor masters the ability to make extremely personal details feel completely universal; we all know what it’s like to associate a specific place or time with someone we love or lost, and how that link can never be fully broken. It’s hard to smell the scent of someone you no longer speak to, or hear their favorite song, or walk down the street where you shared something special. On top of the beautiful production, the way Taylor’s voice cracks right before the last chorus when she says, “I’d never walk Cornelia Street again,” is just an immediate tear duct trigger. You need proof that Swift can write on her own? Look no further.

10. DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS

Inspired by the Netflix film Someone Great (which was coincidentally inspired by Swift’s “Clean” from 1989 [2014], says writer and director Jennifer Kaytin Robinson), “Death By A Thousand Cuts” explores the pain of separating from someone, not because some tragic event happened that tore you apart, but because you naturally grew away from each other. “Gave you too much but it wasn’t enough / but I’ll be all right, it’s just a thousand cuts,” she tries to say casually. There is a unique mixture of production styles, and an absolutely mesmerizing bit of piano at the end of the hook. The echoing “my, my, my, my” in the beginning makes sense when it returns for the second half of the song, in which Swift lists all of the things taken up by this person. Though we know this song is not from personal experience, it shows that she can still write one hell of a breakup song.

11. LONDON BOY

A catchy, upbeat song filled with totally cliche tropes of London men, including British vernacular such as “I fancy you!” While some people are taking the song a bit too seriously, it is a fun track that shows just how head-over-heels she truly is with Joe Alwyn, as she giddily describes herself as a child when their eyes meet. “They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives,” she croons. Although the meaning of the saying “home is where the heart is” would point to the fact that her home would actually be in London with her lover rather than where she’s from, it’s still a cute twist on the phrase.

12. SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER featuring The Dixie Chicks

Probably the saddest song Taylor has ever written, “Soon You’ll Get Better” is a mantra to her mother, Andrea, during her cancer relapse. (The Dixie Chicks, Andrea’s favorite artist, lend their beautiful harmonies). However, it is also a mantra to herself to get through the impossible. “Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too,” “I know delusion when I see it in the mirror,” and “I just pretend it isn’t real” painfully show how Taylor is dealing with it. But she’s willing to go to any lengths for her mom as she sings, “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky / I know I’ll never get it, there’s not a day that I won’t try.” One of the most heartbreaking moments comes in the bridge with the lyric “I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?” She has said multiple times that she does not think she’ll ever perform the song live and that she cannot even listen to it. Anyone going through a similar situation can understand; it’s a very difficult song to get through without crying. And although the pain Taylor and her family must be going through is unimaginable, there is extreme bravery in sharing such a personal account that is also, unfortunately, a universal experience.

13. FALSE GOD

“False God” is a sultry and confident song about convincing herself and her partner that they can still make their relationship work despite all of the breaking points they’ve reached. “I’m New York City, I still do it for you, babe,” she states, reassuring the both of them that she shines like the brightest city in the world, and there’s no way he’s going to let that go...right? The track is elevated to another level by the saxophone in the chorus, and the way she almost trips over her words, somewhat offbeat with the track in the pre-chorus when she says, “They all warned us about times like this / they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith” feels like she’s guiding the listener through the uncertainty and desperation behind blind faith too.

14. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

Lover’s second single, “You Need to Calm Down,” is a song about dealing with people who just can’t mind their damn business, divided into three parts: the online bullying Taylor has received, the homophobia displayed outside of her concerts by Westboro Baptist protesters, and the constant comparisons between and competition projected onto different female artists. With its release during Pride month and an array of LGBTQ celebrities in the music video, casual listeners were extremely skeptical of Swift’s intentions, feeling as if she is only showing support for the LGBTQ community now because she thinks it will help advance her career. This judgment is misplaced for two reasons: 1) Swift started off in country music, and so the majority of her fanbase are from red states, so she has much more to lose than to gain, 2) clearly these people have not been paying attention; not only has Swift shown her support to the community in various ways throughout the years, but this is already her second time showing it through music, as she celebrates “you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls” in 1989′s opening track, “Welcome to New York.” Again, she wants to show that she values love- all types of love- above all. Was Swift’s execution perfect? No. Were her intentions in the right place? Yes. Everyone’s been crying for Swift to be more outspoken, and she’s doing her best. And she has been continually showing avid support for The Equality Act, as she started a petition which she asks people to sign at the end of the video. And although I am straight and cisgender and thus everything I just said isn’t actually important, and what really matters is what her fans in the LGBTQ community have to say, I have seen many of them express feeling really seen by their favorite pop star because of this song, and isn’t that the most important part of it all? Taylor can definitely do more and do better, but it’s a genuine start.

15. AFTERGLOW

It’s been years of pleading...years of completely original outcries...”Write a song called ‘Maybe I’m The Problem’!’” Well, maybe she didn’t make that the title, but “Afterglow” is the closest thing we’re going to get. “Hey, it’s all me, in my head / I’m the one who burned us down, but it’s not what I meant / Sorry that I hurt you,” she apologizes, taking complete ownership for a blowout. “Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves,” she observes, as when you hurt someone you love so much you are also hurting yourself. Then she turns the fight on its head, making it for one another instead of with one another: “This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight.” Lover is such an interesting album from Taylor Swift because we get to see the sides of her in love we haven’t before, and in “Afterglow” she shows us all sides: combative, overdramatic, reflective, apologetic, and reparative. So maybe it’s time to retire the joke, kids.

16. ME! featuring Brendon Urie

I don’t care what anyone says: spelling IS fun. And it’s truly tragic (yes, tragic) that Swift decided to remove such a bold assertion from the lead single, “ME!” right before the album’s release. When it comes to Swift, it seems like her critics are constantly waiting for her downfall, which in some way admits that they know she’s good. But what they fail to comprehend is that a songwriter can write serious, profound songs as well as songs that are just for a laugh or to make them feel good. Anytime Swift engages in the latter, it’s responded with aggressive amounts of “Taylor Swift sucks! This song is horrible!” And then when the full album comes out, they sigh, “Damn it, she doesn’t actually suck- just that one song does,” and await the next album cycle for her to prove them wrong again. It seems like Swift is the only one of her contemporaries to receive this treatment. (I wonder why? See: “The Man.”) Was “ME!” a great single choice? Not really. Is it one of the weakest songs on the album overall? Unfortunately, yes. But within the context of the album, following songs like “False God” and “Afterglow,” she’s trying to say, “Yeah, I’ve messed up, but I clean up my messes, and what we have is special because we are both individually special.” That’s a great message! Just because something might appeal to children doesn’t inherently make it childish. And you know what? You literally cannot spell ‘awesome’ without ‘me.’ (And by the way, Brendon Urie is actually the one who wrote the bridge, but alas, no one cares. I repeat, see: “The Man.”) Either way, the overwhelming ridicule over the lyric “spelling is fun” as if the girl was truly serious rather than just trying to be silly was simply ridiculous. I wish Taylor could have just let the haters hate and instead just shake shake shake, but she succumbed to their criticism. RIP spelling is fun, I still have you on the original copy of the single I bought on iTunes and will cherish you forever.

17. IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND

The shortest track on the album and the most hauntingly beautiful, “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” features a sample from students of Regent Park School of Music in Toronto. How fitting too, as it tells a tale of childhood love. Swift starts off the first verse by gently singing, “School bell rings, walk me home / sidewalk chalk covered in snow,” and then begins the final verse with, “Church bells ring, carry me home / rice on the ground, looks like snow.” The parallel between these verses highlights that at the end of the day, eternal love is really all about forever friendship, in all its forms.

18. DAYLIGHT

“Real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it,” Swift wrote in the prologue of the Red (2012) lyric booklet. Well, she did find it, as is evident throughout the entire album. But it’s stronger than starlight: “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight,” she sings on the final track of this album. In a perfect closing, Swift describes this love as the light at the end of a “twenty-year dark night.” Now that she has this love, she doesn’t want to look at anything else; she just wants to soak it all in. “Daylight” is hope; it is the message that things always get lighter eventually as long as you let love in. That love can be from anywhere: a parent, a friend, a lover, a song, an album, an inspiration. But you have to let go of the darkness, even when it's all you’ve known for so long, in order to embrace the new. Taylor did that, and we can all follow the daylight she now emits as our guide.

“I want to be defined by the things that I love,” she declares in a spoken ending. And I believe that this celebration of love through Lover will not only define her professional career, but also her personal legacy.

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: Taylor Swift is THE songwriter of our generation. This isn’t bias this is just a fact. Why Are You Booing Me I’m Right dot jpeg.

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ofmargos · 5 years

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chicago’s very own margo rosas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mercedes-AMG G65 , welcome ! your resemblance to camila mendes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re distrusting , but being passionate might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be lipstick stained kisses on mirrors , doing vocal warm-ups five minutes before top of show , popping bottles of bubbly to celebrate buying a new pair of shoes . ( my biological dad paid off my mom to keep my relation to him a secret ) & ( cis-female + she / her ) + ( lia , 20 , she / her , cst )

whAT is up my dudes ! i’m lia & i lowkey missed wealthy & writing for my bbygirl margo so i’m rlly excited to be here !!!! if you know her from before i’m sorry lmao i’ve tweaked her background a bit but everything else is p much the same ig ?? she’s fun , she’s a dumbitch , & she’s here to make things harder than they need to be probs . but if you wanna know more , i wrote a novel below so plz enjoy that . if you wanna plot then LIKE THIS & i’ll slide in your im’s.or if you prefer discord hmu @ 𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904. i look forward to writing with y’all ! <3

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : margaret lucia rosas -- NICKNAME(S) : margo ( preferred name , started introducing herself to people as “margo” back in like the 7th or 8th grade ??? who’s margaret ? we don’t know her ) , mar , mars -- * AGE : twenty-three -- * D.O.B : october 31 -- * ZODIAC : scorpio -- * GENDER : cis-female --* ORIENTATION : heterosexual heteroromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5′2″ -- * NATIONALITY : american -- * BIRTHPLACE : chicago , illinois -- * OCCUPATION : broadway performer -- * TRAITS : passionate , creative , dramatic , distrusting , outgoing , ambitious , fun-loving , loyal , daring , sarcastic , stubborn , overconfident , impulsive , hard-working , petty , secretive lowkey

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

( TW : BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABORTION, ALCOHOLISM, AND DRUG USE )

first things first , i’m just going to say it-- margo was an accident . and her story begins with her mother , stassia , who was born and raised on the wrong side of the tracks in chicago , illinois . although she was born into poverty , she had big aspirations for herself and wanted a better lifestyle . her ambition and work ethic were unmatched , and that’s how she managed to get into columbia university ( thank you scholariship $$ ). stassia was in the middle of struggling through her college years when she met her future baby daddy . he was older , going through grad school , and the sole heir to a billion-dollar company . the sparks between them flew instantly despite their differences and they messed around for the better part of a year before the unexpected happened . stassia found herself taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom in between finals ( #justcollegethings , amirite ) and swore she was going to pass out when she noticed the double lines . and let’s just say that her baby daddy did NOT take the news well . a lot of horrible things were said that day . too many hurt feelings for the relationship ( that apparently was never that serious to homeboy ) to carry on . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) so he cut all ties with stassia-- but not before giving her a crazy proposition : get an abortion and never talk to him again OR keep the baby but tell absolutely no one it’s his and never talk to him again . they both seemed like shitty options to stassia , who was actually tragically in love w him , but when he even offered to PAY HER a hefty sum ( i’m talking millions of dollars ) to keep the secret .. well-- it seemed like a blessing in disguise . she’d finally have the funds to live the life she always wanted . even if there was now a baby she didn’t plan for in the mix . so she took the hush money , had the baby in secret , and ran off to completely reinvented herself . ( TRIGGER WARNING END )

although margo’s mother was born into poverty , margo certainly was not . by the time she was born , margo’s mom was ramping up to graduate college and join the high society in the heart of chicago . she got a good job , a lavish place to live , and never told margo about her past . margo grew up completely disconnected from her mother’s side of the family and had no idea of the lies she was being fed over the years . early on in margo’s childhood , her mother met a man through work who she would later go on to marry . that man is the only dad that margo has ever known . he and his daughter were a welcomed addition to their little family , making margo’s home life feel complete in some way . she was provided a good life with the dual income adding to the millions her mother kept . the life her mother always wished she had growing up . in a way , everything she did was for margo . she never wanted her babygirl to struggle like she had to .

as she got older , margo went to all the best schools but only made average grades . she was never too concerned with academics and instead focused on her poppin’ social life and extracurriculars . during her middle school days , she developed an affinity for the performing arts . when everyone had to pick an elective , margo found herself in the theatre class and absolutely loving it . and she was good too . she had excellent stage presence and took every role she got in school productions in stride -- literally the best tree number 3 you’ve ever seen in your life . as she moved on to high school , she rose in the ranks of the theatre department until she was pretty much landing every single lead by the time she was an upperclassmen . acting was her passion , and she figured why not turn being dramatic and talking a lot ( her two most notable personality traits ) into a career . to really hone the craft , she trained herself to be a triple threat : actor , singer , and dancer ( sutton foster , eat your heart out ) . honestly truly had rachel berry in early seasons of glee vibes-- she knew she was the best around and wouldn’t stand to let anyone take the spotlight from her . her peers hated to love her talents because she acted like such a bitch to them offstage / out of character . not that margo really cared for what others thought of her anyway . self absorbed as ever , she told herself she didn’t need friends and generally pushed away any one that dared try to get close to her-- save for her sister . though somehow , someway she managed to get sucked into a small group of friends that would change her for the better ( s/o to ky and gio , sorry they had to put up w bitchy hs margo , rip )

after graduating somewhere in the middle of her class , margo followed in her mother’s footsteps and went to columbia university . she was really only able to get in because she was a legacy and her parents made a considerable donation to the school , but we don’t talk about it . and to say that margo’s college years were transformative feels like an understatement . on one hand , they were some of the best years of her life : she got a true taste of independence , met some of her best friends ( s/o oliver and claudia ), and felt fulfilled to be in the city she had romanticized for so long-- new york baby ! but it was also a very low point for her . back in her high school years , she felt like a very big fish in a teeny tiny pond . she was hot shit , the top dog in her department , and all her hard work and effort to remain leading lady had paid off . however , at columbia she was just one in hundreds of talented people . some with more or less talent , or more or less connections , but they deserved a shot at fame just as much as she did . margo felt like she was fighting for her chance in the spotlight every single day and it was both parts exhausting and humbling for her . she had a amy march mentality “i want to be great, or nothing” and considered throwing in the towel . temporarily thrown off by the pressure to be successful , she took a small tumble from grace . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) turning towards alcohol was her coping mechanism of choice . losing herself in the party scene and surrounding herself with other people that prioritized getting drunk or high over going to class and getting good grades had an obvious effect on her academic performance . ( END TRIGGER WARNING ) she almost lost her place in the BFA Theatre Program during her junior year due being on academic probation . it took a little bit of intervention on her close friends and family part to get margo clean and pull herself together . but by her senior year , she got back on track to graduate on time and participated in various shows at local theaters to build her resume . after almost losing everything she had ever worked for , a fire was lit under margo that had her determined to push herself hard than ever before and make a name for herself in the theatre world .

after she graduated from columbia she moved to new york permanently so that she could fully submerge herself in her work . not long after graduating , she was lucky enough to book several gigs including her big breakout role as lydia in beetlejuice the musical ! it really skyrocketed her into broadway stardom which is cool . a life long dream that once seemed unobtainable was suddenly a reality and she couldn’t have been more elated . with her sudden ( and well deserved ) success , she got a lot of media attention . soon she was getting verified on twitter , instagram , gaining a whole bunch of followers , and getting asked to be on talkshows and stuff to promote the show . honestly , truly a dream ! but her new-found fame gained the attention of another group of people .. her mom’s long lost family . one of her aunt’s ( that she previously didn’t know existed ) reached out to her through social media . and at first , margo honestly couldn’t believe that she had family that her mom never told her about . but after some thought it sort of made sense . in hindsight , her mom had always been evasive whenever margo asked about the other’s childhood or her side of the family .

when margo told her mom about her aunt reaching out and how she wanted to meet her , her mom shut it down quick . stassia told her there were a lot of reasons that she didn’t talk to that side of the family and that was that-- PERIODT . but margo was #rebellious and went to meet with her aunt anyway . and that’s how she found out about her brazilian roots and her big ol’ loving and supportive extended family . that whole experience made margo reconsider what other things her mom was keeping from her . and boy oh boy was that a rabbit hole she shouldn’t have gone down . when margo started to demand her mother tell her the truth , it caused their relationship to grow tense . stassia eventually cracked and told her about her bio-dad and all the things she went through for margo . with the truth finally being exposed to her , margo started seeing things in a new light . like her whole life is kinda a lie and why didn’t her father want her ? where was he ? does he know who she is ? why did he never try to contact her ? has she ever walked past him in the streets and never knew ? it was all too much for her to think about so she just kinda ... shut it all out . she acted like nothing was different , even if her “ what if ” thoughts keep her up most nights .

if you just ignore the abandonment issues , insecurities , and her inability to handle emotions and focus solely on her success in material terms : margo’s doing really well ! she’s been living in new york full time for two (2) years now . she’s one of broadway’s most popular rising stars . having completed her run as the original lydia deetz on broadway , she’s moved on to take on the mantel of janis in mean girls on broadway . she’s learning , growing , and thriving . just trying to have a good time all the time with her friends and live the dream , baby !

P E R S O N A L I T Y & F U N F A C T S ↴

margo is super fun-loving and down to clown

will try anything once and it’s gotten her in trouble more times than she can count

also cannot stand to be bored , so she’s always looking for the next big adventure

although she can be really ridiculous sometimes , she’s very serious when it comes to her work . she’s super hard-working and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of achieving her dreams : even herself

margo’s a very sociable girl and will talk to anyone and everyone . she’s the type that will hold a conversation for 2hrs with a stranger at a party and then when you ask her “who was that” she’s like “i don’t remember their name but i do know their entire life story so that’s cool”

has a way of making people feel like they know her really well when really she’s only letting them see 1/8th of her

keeps her personal life private normally unless you’re super good friends w her

i wouldn’t recommend pissing her off , bc she is petty as a mf and will lit rally never forget how one’s wronged her . this causes her to start fights sometimes . she’ll just bring up old shit out of no where and , since she’s nosy af , she makes everything her business and confronts people on their bs

she’s a whole liar bc she claims she’s a “retired party girl” but really party girl margo has never stopped , will never stop , can never be stopped

studied theatre in college but minored in mass communications just in case she needed a backup job

is v bad at being an adult !!!! like ... can’t cook , often forgets about her responsibilities until the last minute or needs to be reminded like 20 times , stills calls her parents to be like “how do u use a washing machine plz help” , y’know the drill . yet somehow she manages to act as a mom friend to the people that are closest to her ??? v much a “do as i say not as i do” type of hypocrite lol

she has a tiktok and posts dumb shit on there all the time w her friends and like vlogs her backstage experiences in the theater and does the stupid dances and all that stuff hehe

is learning portuguese after meeting the brazilian side of her family

self-proclaimed dancing queen and it’s not because she learned ballet , jazz , and tap whole dabbling in other styles but because when she’s drunk you will in fact catch her dancing on tables !!!!!

i cannot stress enough how bad she is at dealing with her own feelings . like ... instead of dealing with them head on she just ... shuts down . runs away . will ghost on someone she really likes just bc she’d rather leave first than get left and i hate her for it

have i mentioned how big her ego is ???? pHEW . she rides a v fine line between self confident and OVER confident . but tbh it’s just a cover up for how much she rlly hates herself , there i said it

loyalty is EVERYTHING to margo . if you got her back , she’s got your back . but if you screw her over or mess with anyone she loves then she’ll likely try to make your life a living hell IM SORRY

undiagnosed insomniac . nights she spends alone in her own bed are the hardest for her because it’s when all the bad scary thoughts creep up on her and no matter how much she wants to shut them out and just close her eyes and fall to sleep , she can’t . so she’ll often roam the city looking for a distraction or hit up her friends and bother them for some spare company

she’s doesn’t like to be alone ( not like in a romantic relationship sense -- she actually likes being single bc she’s afraid of letting ppl get close enough to hurt her ). hence why she’s always had a roommate even after she moved out of her parent’s house . if she’s not attached to her roommate / best friend kylie’s hip then she’s definitely hitting up her sister or her other friends to see if they want to hang out , even if hanging out is laying around doing nothing or running errands together . margo wants to tag along just for the company

notoriously known for coming up with terrible ideas or following through with other people’s terrible ideas without question bc #YOLO

she’s her pr agents worse nightmare simply bc she has no filter and will not change herself or what she posts just bc she has a big audience ( follow margo on social media and you’re gonna see the good , the bad , and the ugly she does not give a FUCK )

always has good intentions ! her execution / way of showing those intentions is just poor !

she is a rich girl that could not survive not being rich and doesn’t even realize how spoiled she is . spends money like it’s nothing

a mob boss ( this is a joke but also kinda not a joke )

WANTED CONNECTION PAGES HERE

#can y'all tell i hate writing bios ????#this whole thing is a JOKE but i tried lol #plz plot with my baby i will love u forever #THIS IS LONG BUT I'M GLAD IT'S FINISHED OMG #wealthyhq:intro #abortion tw #alcohol tw #drug tw

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charliejrogers · 4 years

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Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

In 2006, Borat was one of those great cultural touchstones that transcended the big screen. There was no aspect of pop culture after its release that wasn’t in some way affected. It perfectly coincided with the rising popularity of YouTube, such that those who hadn’t seen it (or couldn’t because they were too young to get into the rated R movie) could at least see many of its famous clips. Everyone knew Borat in 2006. Everyone. You couldn’t go two fucking steps without someone going “very nice!” or “my wife!” It was such a wonderfully smart movie. It combined the best aspects of a Jackass movie, i.e. the trolling of innocent and unsuspecting bystanders, with a noble cause, to expose to the world the ignorant side of America. It was a novel and insightful look at our country.

In 2020… there is no insight in telling us that much of the country is ignorant of the truth, racist, or sexist. As Borat himself points out in this film, in the years between when he filmed the first movie (2005) and the new movie 2019-2020, America has become transfixed by their new “magical abacuses”, i.e. cellphones. Phones, the internet, social media, all of them expose us everyday to how the other half lives in their little social bubbles. We don’t have to wonder “do people really think this?” Just type whatever terrible or stupid theory you can think of into Google, and you’re guaranteed to find at least one person who endorses whatever heinous thing you just wrote. Again, this is portrayed within the film when Borat, confronted by the fact that maybe some of his core beliefs are lies, finds websites that say that (much to his anti-Semitic disappointment) the Holocaust was not real. So, one is left wondering… what can Borat bring to the table in 2020 that is fresh?

Unfortunately, the answer is… not a whole lot. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm feels mostly like a retread of 2006 with the only additions aiming more for “shock factor” than real comedy aimed to grab headlines (which it succeeded in doing). This is not to say this is not a funny movie. It is. The film’s opening where Borat describes the typical (fictionalized) Kazakh’s view of American politics is hysterical. In sum, America went to shit with the election of Obama, paving the way for other Africans to take power of the West (cue the photo of Justin Trudeau in Black face). Now with Trump in power, Borat is sent on a mission to curry Trump’s favor so that Kazakhstan and its leader will be viewed with the same favor that Trump has bestowed upon other “tough guys and tough guy countries” like Russia/Putin, the Philippines/Duerte, North Korea/Kim Jong Un, Brazil/Bolsonaro, etc. The gift is supposed to be an overly sexually aggressive chimp for Vice Pussy Hound (i.e. Vice President) Pence. However, Borat’s daughter Tutar sneaks into the crate with the chimp, and after a chain of events Borat has no choice but to gift his daughter over to Pence, and eventually Rudy Giuliani, instead.

It’s a simple enough plot but I think the movie gets a little too caught up in it. No one is asking for a plot line for this movie. If this were just a string of sketches with a vague whiff of a plot to transition between the sketches no one would fault it. In fact, that sounds like the first Borat. We are just here for the sketches. Yet the movie is looking to do a little bit more than the first movie. It’s not content to just say, “Hey, look at yourself, America! You’re fucked up! Let’s all laugh at you.” This movie has specific targets that dominate its focus: Trump and Trumpland.

This is, I think, an unfortunate choice not because I don’t approve of bashing Trump and Trumpland, but because whereas the first movie felt like comedy was king with the sociopolitical insights as a dominant undercurrent, here the story and the humiliation of Trump and his base is the end goal. This still makes for funny scenes, but when I think back to the first Borat (and as I re-watched clips of the first movie after finishing this movie), some of the greatest parts of Borat had nothing to do with politics or sensitive subjects. Much of the humor was just based around the ballsiness of Sacha Baron Cohen. This is a guy who when invited into a person’s home for dinner makes openly sexually complimentary remarks about two of the female guests, but explicitly states that the host’s wife is ugly. Never mind the fact that at that same dinner party, Borat hand-delivers his shit in a bag to a guest, claiming to not know how Western toilets work. It’s hilarious, it’s daring, and has nothing to do with politics.

In essence, the first Borat was such a success because Cohen played the character with such a believable naivete and loose grasp of English idioms, that he was a factory of malapropisms, a genius of comedic-timing, and a troll that could annoy the ever-living daylights out of anyone. There are as many scenes of him trolling nice, innocent people (like the driving instructor, the man who teaches him jokes, the group of feminists, or really any time he goes on the news) as there are scenes of him trolling people so that Cohen can make a political point or social observation (like the singing the wrong national anthem at the rodeo or his innate criticism of a Pentecostal Chruch’s weirdness). And in the end, the “point” of that plot at least had nothing to do with politics. You can watch this movie, get your laughs, remark at America’s racism, and still get your laughs.

Here, there really isn’t any scene I can think of that wasn’t done to make some sort of observation or political point. The closest I can think of are the bits towards the beginning before the plot kicks into high gear. There’s a recurring bit I love of him communication with the Premier of Kazakhstan via fax machine at a local UPS Store. The genius isn’t contained in the sentence I just wrote, but that he requires the aging worker of the UPS Store to hand-write all of his faxes for him and read any and all replies. Similarly, there’s a quick bit of genius at the beginning where Borat goes to a cellphone store and cannot understand FaceTime at all. He assumes the person on the phone must be the brother of the phone store worker he sees in front of him; they cannot be the same. Similarly he somehow enlists the help of a delivery person to re-seal the crate in which his daughter came to America in.

But otherwise, the jokes are there either to say, “Woah! Aren’t these Americans terrible?!” (whether he’s talking about QAnon’s theorists, anti-abortionists, or anti-maskers). Or there’s gross out humor, mostly about vaginas and periods, (or moon blood, as Borat calls it). As I said, these aren’t all unfunny. Probably my favorite sequence in the film sees Borat and his daughter at a pregnancy crisis center because Tutar has accidentally swallowed a little baby doll that was on top of a cupcake her father had “given” to her as a “treat” that was just supposed to be “their little secret” because women in Kazakhstan aren’t supposed to have sweets. So she ate the cupcake behind a dumpster. I’ll let you guess what happens when you enter a Christian pregnancy crisis center asking for them to take out the dumpster baby your Dad wasn’t supposed to be giving you… but it’s hilarious to see the worker sorta squirm his away around addressing the reality of incest.

But mostly, I felt kinda fatigued knowing that Cohen and co. were mostly trying to show me the “underside” of QAnon and anti-maskers… but as I said, in 2020, I am unfortunately well aware of both these groups, their psychologies, and their world. So merely highlighting that these ideas exist and that the people who endorse these ideas don’t really have a lot of great ideas otherwise, isn’t that novel as it might have been back in 2006.

Probably the more “interesting” side of the film is it’s focus on feminism. The film uses Tutar (played perfectly by previously unknown Bulgarian actress Maria Bakalova and deserves all the praise she gets) to really expose how America, despite being a “feminist” nation, still shares many aspects with the fictionalized version of Kazakhastan where women are considered equivalent to livestock. The movie hopes to shed light on the far reaching effects of the patriarchy. The movie ends at the top of the pyramid with politicians who feel like it is their right to use their power to sleep with whomever they want (Trump’s obviously the true target of this criticism and I will say, the final Giuliani scene feels a little bit like entrapment… that said, I think it’s fair to say not every man would be so willing to fall into that trap). But leading up to that we see aspects of America designed to fit perfectly with the patriarchy’s demands. We hear from a shallow, vapid Instagram influencer that to get by women need to be docile and pretty, and we see a frankly horrifying discussion from a plastic surgeon talking about all the things wrong with Tutar that he would fix with surgery so that men would want her… despite the fact that she’s a beautiful woman and has nothing wrong with her! We live in a society that recognizes the horror of a patriarchical society, but still so clearly buys into it.

But in the end… you’re not watching Borat Subsequent Moviefilm to get an education on feminism and the problems with the patriarchy. That should be the extra cherry on top of a main course of hearty laughter. In focuses on the politics, Cohen and co. find plenty of laughs and memorable moments, but fail (perhaps inevitably) to recreate the signature naivete and bumbling oafishness of his titular interviewer, in the process losing some of the film’s humor and paradoxically its ability to leave a lasting message.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of four)

#borat #borat 2 #borat subsequent moviefilm #Sacha Baron Cohen #tutar sagdiyev #tutar #borat sagdiyev

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fourteenacross · 5 years

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end of 2019

I've done this survey every year since like, 2006 and then missed it last year because I was on a social media break. Whoops! My shitty memory makes it fairly important as a way to track the passage of time, so I'm back on the horse this year.

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I'm sure there's some specific thing, but nothing's coming to me immediately. Oh, I guess I started cross stitching? Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I'm not sure what my resolutions were for last year because I did not write them anywhere because I did not do this meme /o\ Next year: + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Finish my mg novel + Survive moving + Get a new job + Go on more dates

eta: Outside of these sort of concrete, 2do-list type goals, I set some more nebulous personal goals on Twitter: - See my local friends outside of the BFC more often - Do weird, dumb shit - Be nicer to myself - Fix my meds - Bake something fancy(Okay, that last one is kind of 2do-listy.) Did anyone close to you give birth? YES!! @caphairdadbeard had a baby and he's perfect and I love him and it kills me that he's so far away and I only get to see him a few times a year, even more so than it usually kills me having Sarah so far away. Did anyone close to you die? My former roommate's father. I did a lot of family stuff with her over the decade that we lived together and spent a lot of time with her parents and he was super loved and admired by his community. A real shitty loss all around. What countries did you visit? Just the US, but I visited Seattle and Mississippi for the first time! What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? ~*~Financial security~*~ What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I'm so terrible with actual dates. May 9 was Max's birthday, so there's that? We did a lovely, successful live show on April 18. OH we went to Rent Live and had our wild weekend in LA on January 26. We watched a lot of wild movie musicals at Grace and Jesse's in July. I saw Blair Witch in the woods. I went down to the city to see Octet and Hadestown. Lisa moved in with me. Moby-Dick happened. Now I'm just listing events and not dates, but there you go. What was your biggest achievement of the year? God, do I even have one? I'm not dead, so that's probably something. Oh, I guess we had a really good WBS month where we were interviewed by Forbes.com, had one of our crossovers with IDEOTV, guest edited TBD, and had our live show. That was a really satisfying few weeks. What was your biggest failure? I'm haunted by this work thing I fucked up, even though everyone has told me it wasn't a big deal. I really crash and burned out for NaNo because SAD hit me way harder and faster this year than it has in the past. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots of brain stuff, as per usual. A couple minor colds. My FAMILY on the other hand.... What was the best thing you bought? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Tickets to Octet, maybe. It was probably my favorite show of the year. The new chair/loveseat is also very good. Whose behavior merited celebration? Some of my friends. A lot of excellent activists. Sarah's baby (he's very good). Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Like, the whole government? Where did most of your money go? Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel. What did you get really, really, really excited about? LA, Octet, Max, DragonCon, Moby-Dick. Galentine's! What song will always remind you of 2019? Probably music from Octet? I don't like.....listen to the radio. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Probably about the same? Maybe more stressed out by family stuff going on and money stuff. b) thinner or fatter? Same. Also, I hate this question. 2020 Kaitlyn, delete it plz. c) richer or poorer? About to be poorer. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being depressed. Being stressed. Did you fall in love in 2019? Nope. What was your favorite TV program? If we're talking "currently airing" and not "things I bingewatch that are very old," probably The Good Place--OH I almost forgot Good Omens was this year!!! Also that! And I started watching Schitt's Creek and watched all of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Oh, and I started watching some videos on the Bon Appetit YouTube channel, mostly Gourmet Makes and Making Perfect and Reverse Engineering. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Mostly just like...........people I don't actually know who are terrible humans. What was the best book you read? Coming soon to a podcast feed near you! What was your greatest musical discovery? Probably Octet? I don't think I listened to a lot of new music this year. OH WAIT, The Highwomen!!! What a good album!!! (Also in doing the theatre section I just remembered Six was this year too!) What did you want and get? Mostly material things--clothes, cons, travel, seeing people, tickets to things, etc. Impeachment. Got that. That was nice. What did you want and not get? Financial security. A new job. Emotional stability. A relationship. More sleep. What was your favorite film of this year? Captain Marvel, although Us, Charlie's Angels, and The Wind were very good too. What was your favorite theatrical event of the year? Probably Octet! The broadway version of Hadestown was kind of disappointing compared to the 2016 NYTW version and Moby-Dick is great fun, but still pretty rough in places. Octet is just.....very good. Oh, or SIX, that was great too! Octet or Six. Oh, and, jesus, this year was a hundred years long, I totally forgot we saw Denee as Eliza this year!! She was very good!! And I got to see Daniel Breaker as Burr again and I fucking love him. What was your favorite podcast of the year? The Empty Bowl, a meditative podcast about cereal. It is so good for zoning out and being calm. TAZ has been killing it with the one-shots and the Amnesty arc, too, and this was the first year I listened to MBMBaM weekly and also I mainlined all of Sawbones after listening to half of it, then not listening to any for six months, then deciding to start from the beginning again. Unwell is a really good show that I recommend, and Mabel. The Magnus Archives killed it with season four, which was tailored to my exact narrative tastes. MFM and Criminal are perpetual faves. American Hysteria was super interesting to go through and Bear Brook and In the Dark both obviously had fucking fantastic years. Oh, and Who the Hell is Hamish? that was fun too. And I’ll stop now.

I.....listen to a lot of podcasts. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34! On the day, I went out for dinner and drinks with some friends. That weekend, I bought a bunch of children's Captain Marvel birthday supplies and we played Jackbox games and ate cake! What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Any sort of fix to our current political mess. And/or financial stability. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? The "Whimsical" section on eShakti. What kept you sane? Friends! Podcasts! Anti-depressants! Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Brie Larson and Starr Busby are the first that spring to mind. What political issue stirred you the most? It’s hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire. Who did you miss? Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last four years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.] Who was the best new person you met? Did I meet new people this year? I know I internet-met a couple people, but I'm not sure if I in-person made any new friends? We hung out with this girl Jenn at con a bunch, she was pretty cool! edit: oh my god MAX I met MAX this year because he did not exist last year!!! Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: Do not invite folks to sit on a panel unless you know they'll stick to the goddamn topic agreed on in advance. Quote a song that sums up your year: And no one grew into anything new / we just became the worse of what we were

(I think this is the third year in a row that Dave Malloy has been my lyric of the year.)

Anyway, that’s 2019 for me. I can’t say I’m sorry to see it go. The last half, in particular, was super rough. Hell, the last week was super rough--guess how many members of my family have been in the hospital in December! If you guessed “six” you would be correct!! (Everyone is more or less fine.)

But, hey, it also brought me my tiny nephew and two Dave Malloy musicals, so it wasn’t all bad!

I hope 2020 treats you all well, friends!

#stuff about me #2019 #meme

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razieltwelve · 5 years

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My Traditional Publishing Experience

One of the things I’m asked about from time to time is whether or not I’ve considered going the more traditional publishing route. Today, I’d like to talk a bit about that. However, before I get started, I’d just like to point out that everything I’m about to say is based on my own experience. If traditional publishing is something you want to pursue or if it’s something that is already working for you, then that’s fantastic. You do you. But if it’s not, then perhaps you can find a bit of solace from my story.

Perhaps the easiest way to sum up my traditional publishing experience is to say that I never had one.

Heh.

I suppose that’s a little bit too trite, even for me, so let me expand on that a bit. When I was in primary (elementary school), I used to think about becoming a writer. That ambition largely died off until the later parts of high school when a course that required creative writing rekindled some of the fire, so to speak. In university, I would pick up writing again although I generally stuck to writing fan fiction for series I enjoyed with my original fiction being something of an afterthought.

It was only in my Honours year of university that I really sat down and gave original fiction a try. The end result was my first original full-length fantasy novel. For those of you who’re wondering if you can read it, you can’t. It hasn’t been published. It was fairly raw as manuscripts go with a number of structural problems, to say nothing of how my inexperience showed in terms of pacing and style. However, it was very important to me. It proved to me that I could write a novel-length piece of fiction and that it wouldn’t necessarily be terrible – not great, but not terrible either.

It might not sound like much, but believe me. When you’re trying to find your footing and you’re lacking in confidence, that sort of knowledge can go a long way.

As I entered my PhD years, I began to make a concerted effort to get published, devoting almost all of my free time to my writing. Like most aspiring authors, I had dreams of holding a published copy of my book in my hands and seeing it on bookstore shelves. And like any aspiring author, I did my research. I learned as much as I could about how to get published, and I set out to do it.

I failed.

Repeatedly.

That’s right. Knowing that agents and publishers often favour authors who have at least some publishing credentials to their name, I tried to get short stories and novellas published. I received politely worded rejections for every single one, only one of which wasn’t a form letter. Of course, it probably didn’t help that the very magazines that focus on short stories and novellas have been under siege as the market dries up and they negotiate the transition from paper to digital. In years gone by, there were dozens of short story magazines for each genre. That is no longer the case.

When that attempt to get a foot in the door failed, I decided to do what most aspiring authors do. I wrote, and I sent out query letters to agents and publishers who might be interested in my stories. I received rejections for every single attempt, and not a single one of them was anything other than a form letter, which meant I’d somehow managed to do even worse. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the terminology, a form rejection letter is a stock rejection letter that can be copied and pasted as necessary to make things easier.

To be completely honest, that hurt. It really did. I genuinely believed that while I wasn’t the greatest writer, I did have something to offer readers, something that publishers could make money from. They disagreed, and that’s okay. I get it. It can be risky to take a chance on a new author without any publishing credentials, especially when costs are being cut and indie publishers, self-publishing, and eBooks are making life hard.

I spent a while just thinking about it all. I had a few sleepless nights, let me tell you. It can be hard to look at your writing objectively, but I had to because I had a choice to make. Was I going to keep pursuing this, or was I going to let it go? That’s when I started reading more about self-publishing and how it had worked for other people.

But that’s a story for another day.

So there you have it. That’s my traditional publishing experience. I can honestly say that when it came to getting published the traditional way, I’ve struck out every single time. I’m not ashamed to admit it because it’s the truth, and the truth is the truth even if it hurts sometimes.

Still, I think I’m better off for it. To be brutally honest, there is no way that Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf could ever have been published via the traditional route. The book is too short to qualify as a full-length novel, and the odds of a traditional publisher publishing a novella from an author with no prior publishing credentials is essentially zero. Even successful authors struggle to have novellas published outside of anthologies.

What I want to say is that if you find yourself standing where I was years ago with nothing but a bag of rejection letters to show for your efforts, do not give up. I cannot stress this enough. Amazon (and other retailers) exist that will let you self-publish. Let the readers decide if you’re any good. Success is not guaranteed, not by any means, but at least you’ve got a shot. Self-publishing is something I’ll talk about more in another post because there are definitely lessons I’ve learned the hard way that I wish someone could have taught me earlier.

Not exactly a successful way to start things off, but it’s turned out okay, I think.

And just a reminder. I recently released part four of The Unconventional Heroes Series. You can get Two Necromancers, a Dwarf Kingdom, and a Sky City from Amazon here. If you have already purchased it, then thank you. I really do appreciate it. If you enjoyed it, please do leave a review on Amazon if you can.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

You can find my original fiction on Amazon here.

#personal #musings #self-publishing #traditional publishing

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thecloserkin · 5 years

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book review: Marian Veevers, Jane & Dorothy (2018)

Genre: Biography

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: No

Is it endgame: No

Is it shippable: Yes

Bottom line: Y’all fools: Stanning Lord Byron and his half-sister Augusta whom he didn’t even meet until he was nearly grown, never mind whether he actually knocked her up. Me, an intellectual: William and Dorothy Wordsworth are right there, eloping to the countryside and spending the rest of their days holed up in a picturesque cottage composing poetry.

First let’s have a detour where I yell about Crimson Peak (2015, dir. Guillermo del Toro). A few of the recent asks about incest vs. the patriarchy got me thinking about this line from Jane & Dorothy: “the malevolent power of married women over their spinsters-in-law.” Between the wife and the unmarried sister it’s obvious who has more power and it’s clearly not the spinster sister-in-law—and yet Guillermo del Toro would have us believe that Edith in Crimson Peak is helpless before Lucille’s resistance to giving up the skeleton key (the one that opens every room in the house). Edith is made out to be the victim of Lucille’s bloodthirsty unhinged jealousy, when she’s not only THE WIFE she’s got ALL THE MONEY, she’s literally holding all the cards??? It doesn’t add up. This biography is the antidote to that. It looks at the paucity of options open to your average 19th century girl who just wants a Room of One’s Own to write in, and situates her bid for freedom in the context of having no good options. The trouble with “Crimson Peak” was not that Edith wasn’t relatable or that I didn’t identify with her; when Thomas tears her down in that faux-breakup speech he attacks her on the terrain where she’s most vulnerable, her abilities as a writer. The trouble with Crimson Peak was that this beat would have hit so much harder had it landed on Lucille, a woman who’s WAY more vulnerable than Edith by dint of having (1) no marriage prospects and (2) no inheritance. Without Thomas this bitch has (3) no survival strategy either! Otoh take away Thomas and Edith is still left with her dad’s $$$, Edith still has Alan waiting in the wings to swoop in & save her, in other words Edith will be just fine. No wonder Lucille feels so threatened!! The situations are not even comparable. Here then is Jane & Dorothy which offers two case studies of women whose impulse to write & create was just as strong as Edith’s, but whose plight was much closer to Lucille’s ie. precarious as fuck.

I picked this book up because it’s actually a dual biography of Dorothy Wordsworth and Jane Austen, and I’m a basic bitch and Jane Austen is my eternal favorite. I’m going to focus on the Dorothy chapters but rest assured I read the Jane chapters with equal gusto. Jane Austen (b. 1775) and Dorothy Wordsworth (b. 1771) were both born into the British pseudo-gentry, which means they were too highborn to go and get a paying gig as a governess or companion but not highborn enough to have any independent source of income (neither of them had a dowry settled on them). While the two women never crossed paths, the arcs of their lives run in parallel as they pursue divergent strategies to secure their futures. So the primary imperative here is to avoid a life of domestic drudgery. But the secondary imperative, because these are both perceptive girls with rich inner lives, is this:

For an intelligent woman, confined to a society which denies her higher education and restricts her existence largely to the home, the male companion with whom she shares her life is her chief provider, not only of security and affection, but of intellectual stimulation.

This is a popular romance novel plot, do I want to marry a man who is a bore (possibly also a boor) or do I want to starve hmmmm. The point is that women are frequently starved for both affection and intellectual stimulation, and it’s little wonder Dorothy fell so hard for her brother William when he showered her with both. Dorothy and William were separated as children when, after the death of their mother, she was sent to live with an aunt in West Yorkshire (she was seven, he was eight). Nine years later they reconnected and sparks flew almost immediately. I mean I think their letters speak for themselves:

”the last time we were Together William won my Affection to a Degree which I cannot describe.”

What kind of brother needs to “win” his sister’s affection? Most of them treat sisters like furniture.

”Never have my eyes burst upon a scene of particular loveliness,” he wrote, “but I have wished that you could be transported to the place where I stood to enjoy it.”

standard “everything beautiful either reminds me of you, or makes me want to share it with you” pablum but EXTREMELY effective for all that

but enough he is my brother, why should I describe him? I shall be launching again into panegyric

Dorothy: hahaha but don’t you think my brother was looking mighty fiiiiiine today

”his attentions to me were such as the most insensible of mortals must have been touched with”

”I assure you so eager is my desire to see you that all obstacles vanish. I see you in a moment running or rather flying to my arms.”

That letter is from William, and you have to remember that William was supposed to be a huge dick who routinely ignored his friends’ missives leaving them in suspense whether he was alive or dead and yet he managed a lively & regular correspondence with Dorothy for years before they moved in together. It’s almost like he treated her … special.

”that sympathy which will almost identify us when we have stole to our little cottage”

These kids are already plotting their elopement jfc! Here are some snippets from Dorothy’s diary from much later, after they have in fact achieved The Dream of their own cottage:

”After dinner we made a pillow of my shoulder, I read to him and my Beloved slept.”

”The fire flutters and the watch ticks and I hear nothing save the Breathing of my Beloved and he now and then pushes his book forward and turns over a leaf.” It is a picture of domestic contentment such as Jane Austen draws to portray a genuinely happy marriage.

”After we came in we sat in deep silence at the window — I on a chair and William with his hand on my shoulder. We were deep in Silence and love, a blessed hour.”

This is literally #goals. Veevers points out that “the conflation of marriage with home, spinsterhood with insecurity” meant that “William was promising the kind of permanence and safety which women usually found in marriage.” Dorothy really thought she could Have It All: a home of her own and a rich, stimulating intellectual life shared with the man she loved. And she proceeded to spend the rest of her life making fair copies of his poems. Hell, she pushed him to be a poet in the first place (it was not at all clear initially that this was the best plan for William, who could just have easily have embarked on a career as a political polemicist, but it was Dorothy who pushed him to be a poet, Dorothy who spent the rest of her life copying out his verses in her fairer hand). Early on Dorothy & William befriended the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who was so envious of their bond that he complained, “You have all in each other, but I am lonely, and want you!” Can you b e l i e v e Coleridge actually said that. If one of you hoes doesn’t write me the William/Dorothy Historical RPF that’s Coleridge Outsider POV I s2g I will do my damnedest to die of consumption.

Veveers sums it up this way: “It was a relationship few women would be able to have with their husbands, for, at the time, the two sexes were expected to inhabit different mental landscapes.” To put it bluntly women had ovaries instead of brains; they just weren’t interested in the same stuff a man was. Otoh you have William and Dorothy Wordsworth, actual soulmates: the historical consensus is there is “some uncertainty as to whether she would be best described as muse, emotional support, secretary or co-author.” And she didn’t hide it, either. This is where you really see the difference between Dorothy, who is so open, and Austen heroines like Eleanor Dashwood (Sense & Sensibility), Fanny Price (Mansfield Park) or Anne Eliot (Persuasion) who also feel things deeply but had to regulate the bejeezus out of their emotional responses. This is Dorothy:

After any separation her joy at meeting her brother again was uncontrollable. “I believe I screamed,” she admitted on one occasion when there were witnesses.

Uncontrollable screaming in front of witnesses every time she’s reunited with her brother??? WE STAN. This is how low Dorothy’s spirits sink whenever he’s gone:

”I slept in Wm.’s bed, and I slept badly, for my thoughts were full of William.”

adkfjdkfjdkfjdk I just want to add that when William is home the floorboards are so thin that she can hear him pacing in the bedroom above hers, so his insomnia keeps both of them up at night but she doesn’t mind, she can’t sleep until he falls asleep, she would probably give up a kidney or a lung if she thought it would sell 500 more copies for him. I’m torn between GIRL HE AIN’T WORTH IT and stanning her even harder for being so ride or die on any topic that touches her brother (later, when he has kids, she decides William’s kids are smarter and better-looking than everyone else’s kids).

This is the most iconic line in the entire book, from a letter Dorothy writes to an interfering relative who deplores Dorothy’s judgment for throwing in her lot with a penniless failson like William:

”I affirm that I consider the character and virtues of my brother sufficient protection”

The icily scathing tone of the setdown is PERFECTION. But also, this just in your brother abandoned his pregnant Catholic mistress in France. You know this. Yet here you are gallivanting around the countryside in his company. In fact, when he proves too much of a coward to tell your uncle himself about the existence of said pregnant mistress—this is the uncle who funded all of William’s education and reasonably expects some return on it—he delegates Dorothy to break the news. Dorothy also winds up in charge of all correspondence with the poor girl, who writes occasionally asking for a little money or when is William coming back to France to marry me, and it’s Dorothy who has to fob her off. And this whole incident—the revelation of the French mistress, the break with the family, William refusing to take holy orders to become a clergyman—is so pivotal in their relationship! They were close before but this is the irrevocable step when Dorothy decides to join her fate to his. And her motivation could not be clearer:

William’s outspoken affection for her seems to have first aroused a reciprocal love in Dorothy, but it was his fall from grace, his isolation and his need of a friend, which provided the final catalyst that raised her gradually deepening affection into wholehearted, single-minded devotion.

She saw his need and responded almost involuntarily. She is a RESCUER.

Dorothy, was in one way, very fortunate to have fallen in love with her brother. “Rambling around the country on foot” with a slightly disreputable brother might bring down the censure of her more conventional relatives, but it was a good deal safer than rambling about with a man who was not a brother.

This is the kind of behavior that if two unrelated people engaged in it must have resulted in the man being honor-bound to extend an offer of marriage, because a woman has nothing if she doesn’t have her virtue. Two siblings roaming the countryside, picking flowers and wading thru streams and stargazing? My god what PRIME fodder for fake married tropes! Just present yourself at the first inn you come to as a married couple and then guess what? There was only one bed!!!!

at Grasmere “there was an unnatural tale current of Wordsworth … having been intimate with his own sister.”

tell me MOAR omg this is so deliciously Gothic i keep thinking about that line from Wuthering Heights “whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

at Alfoxton, “the master of the house,” it was said, “had no wife with him, but only a woman who passes for his sister.”

PASSES for his sister trololololol like they don’t act the way you’d expect of a brother and sister, like they’re too into each other.

And it was generally accepted that immorality and radical anti-British sentiment went together.

But really William got much more staid and less radical as he got older, and Dorothy was never political because her energies were centered on William William William. On top of which it’s hard to overlook the fact that William would go into Dorothy’s journals and “borrow” her words and publish them verbatim as his own; he felt as entitled to her intellectual labor as her domestic labor, and there is nothing radically egalitarian about that. So I definitely don’t think this is a case where incest is subversive so much as incest illuminating existing hierarchies & oppressions. Veveers writes: “An unmarried woman’s hold on her own time was extremely fragile. She could be made use of in any crisis, transported against her wishes” to fulfill another family members’ needs. Jane Austen’s sister Cassandra evidently shouldered both their weights when it came to this sort of emotional labor: writing letters of thanks & condolence, minding their brothers’ children, calming hypochondriac aunts down, attending births of little nephews & nieces. Cassandra doing all this extra labor gave Jane the space and time to write. Moreover Jane had formed the ambition to write. Dorothy, on the other hand, thought anything worth saying was already being said by William. And she didn’t have her own Cassandra to share the unceasing burden of housework with:

In fact, the domestic labor and childcare that lay ahead of Dorothy were almost indistinguishable from the duties she had escaped at Forncett rectory. But now she was to be living in a home she had chosen, with a man she loved.

Did it matter in the end, Dorothy’s rebellion? If she’d remained a hanger-on in her uncle’s household, living on his charity, her life would not have been outwardly all that different. I have to believe that her choices did matter, of course. It would be easy to sit here and speculate that if Dorothy had not poured all her mental and physical resources into supporting William’s career, she too might have produced another Pride & Prejudice, but naturally we cannot know that. What we know is that Dorothy and William were 100% in love, a fact that anyone with a modicum of reading comprehension can verify by reading their letters. Why is this not more widely discussed? William Wordsworth was not exactly an obscure poet. The explanation, again, comes back to patriarchy:

The idea that Dorothy might have inspired (or felt) desire at Dove Cottage was as abhorrent to mid-20th century academics as it was to gentlemen of the early 19th century … who preferred to think of unmarried women drooping and degenerating after the age of 25, rather than maintaining a subversive and disturbing sexuality.

I wish I could say that William and Dorothy grew old together at Dove Cottage. What actually happened is he got married (she talked him into it—she chose a mutual friend of theirs whom they’d known for ages) and accidentally fell in love with his wife oops. His new wife was neither young nor pretty, in fact she was painfully plain, but that William became genuinely attached to her there can be no doubt. Dorothy continued to live with them and look after their children until her death. So I think we have avoided the worst case scenario, the malevolent-power-of-the-married-woman-ruins-her-spinster-in-law’s-life scenario: This is what happened to Jane Austen when Jane’s father unexpectedly announced his retirement, uprooting Jane and Cassandra from the Steventon rectory where they’d lived all their lives and forcibly removing them to Bath, where Jane was so miserable she did no writing for years. All this upheaval on account of Jane’s brother and his wife wanting the Steventon rectory and its income for their own! The accursed woman was probably measuring the drapes before she’d moved in. Anyway, it is fortunate this open enmity did not characterize Dorothy Wordsworth’s relationship with her sister in law; they were fast friends and they remained friends after the latter’s marriage to William. But instead of William-and-Dorothy forming the nucleus of life at Dove Cottage now it was William-and-Mary, and if this did not sting at least a little Dorothy would not be human. She had been supplanted in William’s heart. I CRY.

Because I’m literal shipper trash I want to end on the bittersweet note of SIBLINGS EXCHANGING RINGS AS A SYMBOL OF COMMITMENT EVEN THO THEY CAN’T LEGALLY GET MARRIED. This is Dorothy’s description of the morning of William and Mary’s wedding, right before they leave the house to attend the ceremony:

”I gave him the wedding ring—with how deep a blessing! I took it from my forefinger where I had worn it the whole of the night before—he slipped it again onto my finger and blessed me fervently.” It might be said that William married her before he married Mary, and that Dorothy was making a promise in that upstairs room try like the one Mary was about to make in church.

it’s been two months since I read this book and i’m STILL SCREECHING byeeeee

#dorothy wordsworth #book review

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