#i write a shitpost and then TAKE IT WAY TOO FAR

[sadboytristan]

"wAIT" He shrieked. She could smell the desperation... Like a stench wafting in the air, almost as if it was radiating off him-

I cant believe this is what I thought while looking at this screencap. What if I rewrite this entire scene like this. How do I even describe this writing style? Cliche, over-dramatised romance novel??

"Hero's cuties: The soap opera" I think NO

I'm absolutely doing it, I'm writing and yall are not prepared for this

[alltimefail]

ATTENTION DEAD BOYS FANDOM:

We have some unfinished business and a case to solve: The Case of the Curious Cancellation! 💀🔎

Here are the ways you can help (be sure to read until the end).

I'm not sure how many people here on Tumblr are also over on DBDA Twitter, but there have been MANY developments in the last 24 hours and it's important for all of us to be on the same page if we're going to have a chance in hell of saving our show.

First and foremost, we need to get Dead Boy Detectives in the Netflix Top 10 again. This means running it as much as possible. Read about that below:

(SOURCE x)

As the graphic says, the goal is to have it running on a loop constantly, as much as you physically can. Be sure to have some level of volume on or else it won't count. If you're on Twitter be sure to post your rewatch (photos of your tv, commentary, etc.) with the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives !!!

Also, there's no better time to do this: the Tweet below brings up a great point! 👍

(SOURCE x)

Second, and easiest thing: KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SHOW AND CREATING CONTENT ABOUT THE SHOW. Analysis, fics, fanart, shitposts, gif sets, memes, tik tok videos, so on - do not stop! Reblog other people's stuff and talk about it! Give fics kudos, comment, make fic rec lists and post that WIP or sketch! The most important thing to remember is to TAG YOUR POSTS AND CREATIONS. We need to trend!!! On Tumblr make sure you continue tagging your posts as you probably already are (look at my tags on this post if you need help, and remember not to use "DBD" on here because that is another fandom! We use DBDA here). On Twitter you want to use the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives for the rewatch and #SaveDeadBoyDetectives is a popular one, too. You can also use #DeadBoyDetectives. Hell, I usually use all three if I can! Hashtag every post you make about Dead Boys, no matter how annoying or "cringe" you may feel. Flood the fucking tag and do not stop.

Third, everyone needs to sign and keep circulating the petition. We've surpassed 5,000 signatures in a day which is fantastic, but we need more. Get everyone you know to sign it; tell them it takes no more than 15 seconds. Be annoying until they do it just to shut you up.

Fourth, request "Dead Boy Detectives Season 2" through Netflix's support website. It's a small thing but if we all do this a couple times a day it will get their attention. They really do vet these suggestions, and an influx of requests for a canceled show will raise eyebrows.

Lastly, if you decide to write Netflix (via email or a letter - their office address has been floating around) please remember to stay concise and professional. Don't curse at them, don't call names. State that you are disappointed with the cancellation of the show, maybe add an anecdote about what it meant to you, and I would even recommend attaching some articles that emphasize people's displeasure with the platform abandoning shows on a whim and Netflix's flippant attitude toward queer shows in particular. Dead Boy Detective Agency on Twitter has retweeted every article on this topic so far, you can find their page here.

You can also use graphics such as the ones below to affirm that the cancellation was unjust.

(Source 1, Source 2)

I know this feels like a lot: know your limits and take care of yourself. Whether you do every single one of these things or just a few of these things, every llittle bit helps!

Even in the worst case scenario where nothing changes, this gesture will mean so much to everyone who made this show. We owe it to the writers, cast, crew, and each other to TRY. We can all agree that this show deserves at least another season and if Netflix isn't going to do it, they need to be open to selling it to someone who will. We cannot keep allowing them to axe these queer and diverse shows with little regard for their customers and their employees, but also because it sets a harmful standard in the industry that is destroying television.

Let's crack this case and bring our agency back! I truly believe in this community!! 💜 We can do this!!

If there are any spelling errors or issues with links let me know! I did this on mobile because I want to mobilize this information as quickly as possible! I'll be adding on to this with new developments and can answer any questions you all might have. Lets save our show!

[rainychaoloveshack]

hiiii i stumbled across ur blog like a couple days ago and. ive been so obsessed with all ur posts theyre so yummy!!! (ESPECIALLY UR BOOM??? ik u mentioned u werent all that familar with him but,,, that one oneshot had me salivating oml)

anyways could i maybe ask for a sonic x reader where they give him a bath bc he's stinky 🤧 just modern/game is fine smile

ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ⋆ ﾟ 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐠.

sonic had a nice adventure outside. unfortunately, remnants of said adventure were brought into your home. its bath time.

⋆°•☁︎ content . sonic x gn!reader, fluff, sort of shitpost-esque writing but i still did take it seriously i swear anon

☂︎ wc. 1.1k ☂︎ a/n. hueheh this request had me giggling. silly dirty ass mf 😭😭😭 i was messing around during it huehehe this is your reminder to not take me too seriously sometimes 😋still pretty short but i hope you like it ^^ def not my best work but i hope you like it regardless ^^'

likes, reblogs, and especially comments are extremely appreciated!!! (i like chatting to you guys!)

“You know I can take a simple bath by myself, right?” Sonic growls, watching you kneel down and check the water's temperature for him with your forefinger. Not too hot, not too cold. “Plus, I already took a shower. The dirt’s gone already. No need for a bath, right?” Now why is he acting like that bathtub is going to kill him?��

“Could’ve gotten it all out if you hadn’t pulled me out the shower.” He mutters. “If you had wanted me to take a bath at all, you should’ve said that bef-” You frown, interrupting his rambling by knocking on the side of the bathtub with your fingers in a way that’s telling him to hurry up and get in. You can still smell the mud on him.

And it’s not bad to take precautions. Plus, if the shower didn’t get every single spec of dirt out of his quills, the bath will. Having even one spec of dirt come back inside the house after Sonic’s grand entrance of mud-filled footsteps, and right after you had to clean said mess, might just make you go crazy.

“I already said I was sorry...” He trails off, peering into the tub before taking a step back. You mutter a short curse his way and tug him by his arm, refusing to take no for an answer.

Sonic winces slightly at the volume of the water in the tub but lets out a sigh once he sees your stern expression. “Oh, alright…” He grumbles, spitting out soft curses about his distaste for water as he slips off his gloves, following with his socks right after.

… Paw-beans.

“Hmm?” Sonic’s ear flicks at your small murmuring, turning your way just as he’s about to step into the bath. “You say something?”

You shake your head, trying to make him forget your small slip-up, and urge him into the tub with a small shove. The moment his foot enters the water, you can visibly see a shiver tremble through his body.

“Eugh.” Despite his little complaints, he takes another step in the bubbly water, slowly settling himself into it with unpleasant grumbling, the water reaching up to his chin. “Make it fast. Being submerged in water for too long makes me uneasy…”

Like him? Make it as fast as ‘Sonic speed’, some might say?

His head snaps in your direction, opening his mouth to say something back to your crude teasing, but it closes instantly as you cup water into your hands and pour it over his head, watching it run off his quills and back into the bath.

That shut him up quickly. 

And so it begins.

The water runs down and seeps into his fur, then drips off once it gets too soaked, mixing with the bubbly suds already present. You rub his ear in a slow motion, cupping water up from the bath and pouring it over to get any extra dirt out. So far so surprisingly good; the baths running fairly clear, besides the small bit of dirt or so. Maybe he did get all the dirt out after all? Or maybe it was just his shoes that were the problem? No, then you wouldn’t have seen all those specs of black and brown in his fur. What, did he roll down a hill or-

“Hey, be careful with my quills!” Sonic’s body flinches as you accidentally prod and pull too deeply during your thoughts. “Can’t you be a little more gentle? The bath’s been clear for the past half hour.” He clarifies. “At this point, I’m not sure if you’re still trying to get any dirt out, or if you just like pampering me.”

Oh. Well damn.

Your hand lowers from his head, and it dawns upon you that yes, for once Sonic is actually right about your behavior, and the embarrassment washes over your figure, staggering your motions as you go to unplug the drain, but he stops you with a small kick of his foot at your hand.

“I didn’t say you had to stop.” Sonic mutters, before putting on his best ‘I deserve the world’ act a spoiled child would have towards everyone else. “I’m actually enjoying the attention!” He puffs his chest out, trying to put on a smug face for you, but a splash of water in his face turns that smugness to irritation, shaking his head around like a dog would their body as water flings in every direction possible. You hold your hands up in front of your face, your soaking wet hands dripping onto your lap and the bathroom floor as you shield yourself from the blue blurs little water assault. Ugh. Looks like he’s getting a kick out of your annoyance.

“It’s not so bad.” Sonic says plainly, flexing his fingers in the water in front of him, before adjusting himself to rest his arms on the tub’s edge, resting his head down to let your preen and run your fingers through his quills, forgetting to scrub through them at all. “You know, I wouldn’t mind if you pampered me like this more often.” Sonic reaches over and drags a soggy, wet, finger across your arm, leaving small water droplets on your skin as he moves it up towards your hand, currently resting on your lap as the other one rubs against his shoulder briefly. “Think I deserve it a little, ya’ know?” He shimmies his shoulders a bit, yet his tail wags all the same under the water, eager for your answer, even if you give him a plain ‘no’.

Well, if he could be more aware of himself and clean up after his little escapades, you would. But for now, the punishment bath it is. Though, with the way he was acting at first, someone might’ve thought he was taking a small dunk in acid.

Sonic doesn’t utter a word at your own little joke, but he shakes his head disapprovingly, glaring at you for a few seconds as his eyes flick over you up and down, then he relaxes. “You’re gonna help me dry off after this too, right?” He chirps, and you shake your head, already firm in the belief that you deserve some rest after cleaning up the house. Not to mention the other house chores you’ve already done today.

“Aw man...” Sonic says softly, before growling under his breath in your direction, ears pinning down, obviously in a joking manner, and he flicks some water in your direction off his fingertips, splashing onto your shirt and lap. “You can’t just take me a bath and then chicken out once we’re almost at the finish line! Come on.” Another flick of water comes flying your way, this time hitting you in the face, and you scowl, cupping up some water in your palm to splash it back at him.

“Aw, hey, come on!” His tone of voice makes it sound like a complaint, but his expression is the complete opposite; a fat grin spreads across his muzzle and another small splash of water makes its way to you, soaking your shirt. Oh, so that's how it is?

“What? What’re you gonna do about it?”

Stupid hedgehog. Sometimes it’s a mystery how you haven’t gone crazy by now from all his antics.

… Oh well; time to fetch that towel.

[writing-reaper]

Bad Batch Reacts…

S/o Letting Go of Their Hand and Stopping

Warnings: shitpost, cursing, fluff

Note: am I writing another tiktok trend? Yes, absolutely. This was just a fun, quick post. Now I just need to write one for Valentine’s Day. Enjoy!

Description: While traveling together through the city, you stop and let go of his hand to see if he notices or keeps walking.

Crosshair

Does he notice?

He notices.

But does he stop?

No!

He knows what your doing, following him through the city when he got too far away for you to just wait.

He’ll use one of the reflectors he keeps to look behind him, laughing quietly to himself about the very upset look on your face.

Crosshair looks back once more, an annoyed pout on your face as you begin toward him. He keeps walking, occasionally looking as you get closer and closer.

“Crosshair!” You call out from behind him as you make your way through a crowd of people. He decided he’d have no better opportunity and he ducked away in an alley, tossing a reflector on the wall in front of him. “Shit.”

You look around and he’s gone. Panic begins to set in. Did something happen? You weren’t on a mission, maybe he saw something? You race forward, looking in every direction.

Finally, you run out of breath and stop, leaning against a corner. Your hand touches something on the wall, and when you turn to look—

“Boo.” If he hadn’t put his hands on your shoulders, you probably would’ve slapped him.

“Maker Crosshair! You scared me!” You shout, your voice laced with both annoyance and relief. Only relieved he didn’t leave you.

“Mesh’la, what are you doing?” He asks, spinning you around, trapping you against the wall.

“It was just a joke, my friend did it to her boyfriend and he spun around and asked her why she let go, I wanted to see what you would do.” You continue to pout, refusing to meet his gaze, pretending to be upset with him.

“Well, I noticed.” He answers, flicking you on the forehead with his toothpick. “It was funny, but don’t do it again.”

“Or what?”

“I’m going to have to walk back to the ship by myself.”

Wrecker

Does he notice?

Also no.

Boy did you let go at the wrong time.

You let go just as he saw one of those food stands he really likes.

You find yourself laughing as he orders something before turning to find you gone.

“Can I get a box of those truffles and, hey do you—” Wrecker turns, now noticing his empty hand and his missing s/o. Confused, he abandons the shop, confusing the employee even more as he searches for you.

“Hey! What are you doing over here?!” He questions, finding you in the middle of the street. Before you can even give him an answer, he picks you up and carried you over to the shop.

“Wrecker!” You shout, surprised by his actions.

“Do you want anything?” He asks, completely oblivious to the fact you abandoned him on purpose.

“Wrecker, I— oooo they have cupcakes!”

Well, you didn’t quite get the response you wanted, but you did get cupcakes.

Tech

Does he notice?

Yes

Tech’s already not very big on holding hands, but this was a crowded place so he made the exception.

When you let go of his hand, it was just as you got out of the crowd.

So, Tech being Tech, he stops as well and takes the opportunity to go on his datapad to check for any messages and where you two going or planning to go.

He’s confused when you start laughing in the midst of him asking you where you wanted to go.

“There is an appliance shop just down here I’d like to stop by. However, there is also an art exhibit. If you would enjoy visiting there, we will have to go now that way there’s still time for me to go to the appliance—” Tech finally looks up from his datapad to see you squeaking out a laugh through your fist. “I am confused.”

“It’s— hah! It’s nothing Tech. Wh-what were you saying about the art exhibit?” You giggle between every through words. Tech gives you a puzzled look before continuing on, telling you about the art exhibit. Except this time, when you continue on, he hooks arms with you as you continue to giggle, satisfied by your very Tech reaction.

Hunter

Does he notice?

Yes, right away.

He’s only here because you wanted to check out the small festival going on.

Hunter’s a little irritated due to being in such a crowded area for a while.

So when you stop and let go of his hand, he just assumes you saw a stand and you wanted to take a look.

He’s confused when you just stand there and smile goofily at him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, confused and a little worried as you start cracking up into a fit of giggles. He kind of smiles as he takes a moment to focus on you, instead of all the hustling and chatter going on around him. “Is there something you want to look at?”

“Just you.” You answer with a giggle, earning a wide smile from the man you love. Hunter pulls you close to him, oblivious to your trickery and he kisses you on the cheek.

“Real sweet, cyare.” He hums, tucking his face into the nape of your neck. “Does that mean we can head back to the ship?”

“I suppose you’ve held out long enough. Let’s get the boys some food on the way back.” You reply, your own prank slipping from your thoughts as he kisses your neck in a silent plea.

“Whatever you want, mesh’la.”

Echo

Does he notice?

Not at first.

He walks for a few more minutes before he realizes you’re gone.

He panics, but when he turns he finds you weren’t far.

“Everything alright?” Echo asks, confused as to why you just stopped in the middle of the path.

“Everything’s fine.” You answer with a small grin. He gives you a confused look, and takes your hand once more.

“We should head back to Cid’s, I think we’ve been gone long enough—” He turns once more to find you a few feet behind him. “What are you doing?”

You can’t help but laugh as you take his hand once more.

“I thought you wouldn’t notice again.”

“Ohh, so you’re doing this on purpose.” Echo questions with a raised brow.

“Maybe.” You tease, grinning his way.

“Section 8.9 states, ‘if a subject is not compliant—” Echo suddenly moves and picks you up, surprising you at your loss of footing. “Transport them by any means necessary.’”

“Echo! Those rules don’t even count anymore!” You pout, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“They do when you’re with me.” He answers. “What was it you were even trying to achieve?”

“I wanted you to…” you bite your tongue for a moment to stop yourself from laughing. “Echo-locate me.”

“Ugh.”

[raxistaicho]

In which we discuss Edelgard's flaws (she has none)

Hey folks! Been a while since I did a longpost. There just hasn't been anything to stir my interest.

But fortunately I found something, so I suppose it's a good time to get away from Resident Evil 4 Remake S+ prep runs, cooking dinner, going to the gym, and writing my fanfic to indulge in my hobby of being terminally online.

So recently butwhatifidothis, who I will henceforth call Strikes, made a post in which she allegedly discussed how we Edelgard fans view Edelgard's flaws that she doesn't have any of but mostly just sounded off about how Edelgard was presented in a fanfic that consumes an inordinate amount of her mental focus. Let's see what she has to say!

I think the main thing that makes Edelstans' version of Edelgard so annoying is that she ultimately has every ounce of agency stripped out of her,

Don't get confused by her bringing up agency when I was talking about flaws so far, this is the typical Edelcrit strategy of saying that if we deny Edelgard did certain bad things then we're denying she did all the things.

by people who insist that they're "making her grow" into a character they already made her out to be from the start.

Well in a manner of speaking depending on how you handle her character arc it is possible to portray her properly growing into the role of a more focused revolutionary that we all view her as, so I suppose that's not too far off.

We get told that Edelgard has this amazing character arc,

She does.

and then are presented with a Mary Sue with no discernable flaws and/or who makes no substantial mistakes.

Strikes is confusing us denying that Edelgard's an awful racist imperialist with us saying she never did anything wrong. Shitposting in the title (and in the intro) aside, Edelgard obviously did some wrong things in the name of pragmatism. It's rather notable that she's often having to rapidly play catch-up helping to put out the fires Solon starts throughout White Clouds (chapters 6, 8, and 10 being the most notable examples), so she is a little more reactive rather than proactive in stopping some of their activities before they could begin.

Part of the issue is we're just never given an absolutely clear view of just how much Edelgard knew about what the Agarthans were up to and when she knew. One thing we do know is that she doesn't operate the way they do, her attacks are always targeted and have a specific purpose, she doesn't spread chaos like they do, so it's very unlikely she'd approve of most anything they do, especially considering how she often takes measures to fight back against them.

This Edelgard is perfect out the box, no discolorations or tears to be seen.

So Edelgard's biggest flaw early on is her trust issues. Because she struggles to trust she tries to go it alone, resulting in her taking more extreme measures than truly necessary. Of course this isn't entirely without reason, seeing as how on three out of four routes Byleth ultimately rejects her and plays a key role in halting her revolution, but it's only when she puts her trust in Byleth and appears before them without the mask of the Flame Emperor that Byleth has a chance to take her hand.

She even seems to realize she'll one day have to do this:

She just has a bit of dust, but the doll itself is flawless.

Don't like the idea of calling her a doll...

And that is, in the end, what ruins her. She’s not prideful and arrogant,

Oh no, she is 100% those things, roflmao. Sothis even calls her out on it:

Hell, Edelgard herself admits she can seem arrogant, so she's not wholly unaware of that flaw.

she’s not stubborn and narrow-minded,

Stubborn, yeah.

Narrow-minded? Multiple of her supports are about her coming around to the viewpoints of her interlocutors, most especially Manuela, Ferdinand, and Linhardt, so nice try.

she’s not manipulative and deceitful,

Now we're getting into scwary words!

Can't fight against the framework of the continent if you don't hold your cards close to your chest, Strikes.

she’s not violent and abrasive,

No, no, if you want violent you want Rhea or Dimitri.

Abrasive, yeah, that's another thing she grows out of. She's rather impatient with some of her goofier friends in the early supports, and grows to be much more patient and compassionate by the timeskip.

she’s not nationalistic and imperialistic,

She's neither of those things.

but nor is she fearless and confident,

...Where did Strikes see Edelgard fans calling her an uncertain little coward?

I mean I know where she thinks she saw that, but we'll get into that later.

she’s not ambitious and resolute

Ditto. Please show me these Edelgard fans who say she isn't ambitious, I'm dying to see the idiots masquerading as her fans.

- she has none of her character flaws or boons, because they make her too full of agency. They drive her to choose to do anything; they're not forces outside of her control that make her do things that she would just never, ever do were the WORLD not so broken and flawed.

Here we go, so Strikes has twisted the acknowledgement that some things were out of Edelgard's control (because they were) to some kind of admission that everything is out of her control.

There's a certain interesting meta analysis to be looked into on the subject of whether a revolutionary truly has a say in the matter when it comes to rebelling against a world that's gone so firmly wrong, as Fodlan had, but with Edelgard in particular I think the thing most of us love about her is that she's the only one willing to make the difficult choice of ripping the bandaid off. I'd certainly like her less if she just kinda bumbled her way into fixing the system the way Naruto does.

The few "flaws" Edelstans begrudgingly allow her are only meant to further endear her to the player. She’s childish, but only because she’s oh so traumatized and that should be accepted as who she is and not something to grow out of (nor something that is truly wrong of her to be even in her 20's).

Sadly I have no idea what Strikes means by Edelgard being childish. I guess her liking of cute things and sweets? Or maybe her abrassiveness that Strikes claims we think she isn't?

She’s self-unaware, but only because the world made her unsure of who she really is, which is a perfect little angel.

Yeah now we're just getting into Strikes blatantly sounding off about that whole fanfic thing I mentioned earlier. Most of her complaints are about a very specific incarnation of Edelgard, because Strikes and others like will her will never stop trying to pillory somebody for the crime of...

Hang on a sec.

(Flips through notes)

Ah. The crime of writing a fanfic.

The only "mistakes" she makes are because others failed her; Byleth and the Black Eagles fail Edelgard in the Holy Tomb, that wasn't her fault, they didn't ensure her that they could be trusted, for example.

At this point is there any reason in replying concretely to anything Strikes says? Not every Edelgard fan in the world interprets her the way The Emperor and the Goddess does, Strikes, and the point Captain Flash was trying to reach wasn't that the others were wrong, but rather that Edelgard's lack of trust was lamentable but a very really thing founded in the nature of the world she lived in.

Claude and Rhea have flaws - real flaws, that aren't "they just don't wove themselves enuff."

Yeah, Rhea's flaw is "she was a genocide victim, you have to be nice to her :(" according to these people.

Dimitri makes mistakes - real mistakes, that aren't "he twusted the wrong people and got hurt fwom them."

Actually he kinda did trust the wrong people and got hurt by them, roflmao. Thales is... about the worst person ever to trust.

She’s just a little flower

You know, that thing Byleth calls Edelgard in The Emperor and the Goddess!

Man, Strikes's so buttmad at that fic for the crime of existing and being popular.

plucked of all her thorns, safe and easy to pick up and admire, weak, meek and too innocent and pure for this dirty dirty world, coveted by all for her perfection and beauty. Which is just so... boring? And annoying?

Yeah, that would be pretty boring if Edelgard fans viewed her that way...

It's so clear that this Edelgard is one that is sanitized of any pesky little flaw that could make people dislike her or like her in the "wrong" way (because liking villains for being villains Is Wrong), and that is ironically the exact reason why she's so insufferable.

Frankly I'll never understand this flailing claim Edelcrits like to make, insisting we try to deny Edelgard is a villain because "liking villains for being villains is wrong."

I'm sorry, but what? People don't like villains, you say? People love villains! This, probably more than anything else they say, is sheer desperate idiocy.

Cornelia's one of my favorite characters in Three Houses purely because she's just an unrepentant vicious bitch to everyone, including Thales. She became an ascended extra in my fanfic because of it.

Like, it's almost kinda hard to explain why having a character choose to be an asshole is so much more engaging to watch than having a character be entirely reactive UNTIL they can get Good Noodle Stars because.... yeah? Of course? Because there's more meat to bite into whenever a character makes a choice - whether kind or spiteful, whether good or bad - over someone else forcing a character to do something.

Alarak my beloved <3

"Edelgard believes in imperialism because she has been raised in and agrees with a culture that believes itself to be the rightful 'owner' of the continent due to it being the progenitor country, and she genuinely believes Fodlan would be better if back under this 'glorious' reign of Adrestia, even despite her being around those outside of Adrestia for almost a year" says so much about her AND Adrestia.

...It would if she did? Except she doesn't? Says a lot about the nobles who do think that way.

Like the implied Duke Aegir, who Edelcrits try to mildly whitewash of his crimes, coincidentally enough.

"Edelgard DOESN'T believe in imperialism, it's just that everyone else is doing so badly that they FORCE her to kill them or otherwise get rid of them" says things about the ones DOING things badly, MAYBE, but all it says about Edelgard is that she Doesn't Like Bad Things.

That kind of is a way to describe her movement, though naturally Strikes phrased it in a way that strips her of agency because that's convenient for her argument.

I'd phrase it more as "Edelgard chooses war with the rest of Fodlan as a last resort, hating it but accepting the necessity as a means to bring about real and lasting change".

Or, oh so much deeper, it says she likes *gasp* Good Things! How brave, how stunning!

Someone's getting hangry.

Yeah, I have no actual argument for this, Strikes is just mad and saying things.

And before you can try to say "Well maybe Edelgard went to violence so quickly because she views fear and control to be the best way to force a society into being 'good' over trying to convince people peacefully,"

...No. When does Edelgard resort to the Tarkin Doctrine? Ever?

the Edelstan Edelgard is already packaged with "Edelgard went to war first because literally everyone MADE her go to war because THEY wouldn't let anything else work."

That's a rather obtuse way to say diplomacy wouldn't have worked.

"Edelgard tried to assassinate Dimitri and Claude at the very beginning of the game because she wanted to make her eventual war go way easier"

Heheheheheheh, you know where this is going.

turns into the infamous "Edelgard was just trying to scare THE TEACHER away to get JERITZA installed in their place, and CLAUDE ruined it by running away; she wasn't ACTUALLY trying to hurt anyone."

Infamous, and proven true. Edelcrits are still furious about that over two years later. Hopes was a bad time for them, I get it.

And also, if she was trying to kill Dimitri and Claude? So what? If killing them would have made the future war easier, I could understand why she'd make that choice. Their two lives don't weigh heavier on the scales than that of all Fodlan's people.

"Edelgard let Remire be massacred because - like she literally said she would - she was willing to sacrifice her people's lives in service of her higher cause" turns into one of "TWS forced her to be compliant" or "Edelgard definitely didn't know anything because she would have stopped it had she known."

So while it is implied Edelgard had some inkling of what happened,

But she clearly didn't expect Remire to be so terrible,

An interesting thing to note is that the cutscene where Seteth and Rhea talk about the situation in Remire happens on the 1st of the month, Byleth passes out on the 2nd after speaking with Manuela, and we get the scene with Hubert and Edelgard on the 4th. That's the earliest we know that she has some idea what's happening in Remire, and given how in the same scene Hubert openly asks Byleth how the investigation is going, it's likely Byleth had already told the class about the mission by then.

The Agarthans don't respect Edelgard, they don't need to ask her for permission for anything, and they don't need her help with anything. Solon has already vanished from the monastery to finish up the experiments, so by the time Edelgard even knows what's happening in Remire, it's already too late to do anything about it.

"Edelgard directly assisted in Flayn's kidnapping because TWS having more tools to work with means she gets more weapons to fight with" turns into "She was forced to do that."

I think she means, "Edelgard was forced to give up the Death Knight to Thales," when she says "she was forced to do that", because that's the closest I've ever seen it argued. Usually the take I've seen is that Edelgard didn't know Flayn would be kidnapped until she was, because, again, why would Solon bother to tell her about it? He's already had the Death Knight for over a month by then and he doesn't need any further help from Edelgard. If Edelgard wanted Flayn captive, why would she help in the search, why would she let Flayn go, and why wouldn't she take Flayn captive at the Holy Tomb?

"Edelgard helped hide Kronya among the student populace even as she kidnapped students and mutated them into Demonic Beasts because it will help in giving her Demonic Beasts to work with in the war" turns into, you guessed it, "Edelgard was forced to do that."

This time I have no idea what Edelgard was supposedly "forced" to do in the context of Edelgard fan apologia. Edelgard "hid" Kronya by not outing her.

And yeah, it ain't great that Edelgard didn't do that, but there's a lot of reasons she couldn't. By the time Solon reveals himself Kronya's already about to disappear from the monastery, revealing her would be too blatant a backstab against Thales, it wouldn't also reveal Edelgard herself, and there's no guarantee the church would do anything judging from how Rhea reacts to Edelgard outing Thales in Three Hopes.

"Edelgard sent her army and Demonic Beasts onto either her direct Black Eagle classmates or otherwise innocent students to stop them from stopping her from getting Crest Stones to use in her upcoming war"? Oh, a surprise! "She HAD to do that, because OTHER PEOPLE were going to take the Crest Stones if she didn't!"

The students can't be innocent if they're fighting for the church. You don't get to have it both ways: if they're innocent non-combatants then Rhea has no business recruiting them to fight on behalf of the Church of Seiros.

And yes, she endangers her classmates. Again that ain't great, but the future of Fodlan is more important than the lives of a few of her close friends.

She was forced to, she wasn't hurting/trying to hurt anyone, she didn't do anything wrong - if her actions lead to people getting hurt and/or killed, those are the exclusive reasons allowed as to why she did it.

No, they weren't exclusive, I threw several more. The issue here is Strikes wants to either make it:

A) Edelgard is an evil vicious imperialist racist.

B) Edelgard has no control over anything.

With zero nuance because that furthers her point. Edelgard's either EVIL or has no agency, with zero in-between.

These reasons being excuses to alleviate her of any accountability, not genuine explanations that still demand her to take accountability.

Who's she to take accountability to? Most of the people she fails are dead, is she supposed to apologize for starting a revolution to better Fodlan?

That's the difference between Rhea and Dimitri, who Strikes will mention onward: their mistakes they take accountability for are inherently selfish ones. If Edelgard was selfish she'd just hide in her room all day munching on sweets.

Meanwhile, Rhea distorted history to keep her and her family safe - which in verse is said to be something she was still wrong to do, and which in verse she ADMITS was wrong of her to do.

And her fans try to minimize what she did. "Rhea only briefly held back certain inventions, and only so that humanity wouldn't progress 'too fast'." "Rhea had no control over the Crest system, that was humans being bad!" "Rhea was just the midwife, she didn't do anything suspicious to Sitri and Byleth!" "Rhea thought Byleth was an amnesiac Sothis!"

Dimitri was absolutely willing to torture Randolph because he viewed the guy as less than human and felt him getting such inhumane treatment was justice

And his fans try to argue either that Randolph deserved it or because Byleth stopped him it wasn't all that bad.

Hell, Strikes herself is minimizing what Dimitri did here! He didn't just attempt to torture Randolph, he did torture Randolph. Even if you don't know that describing torture you're about to inflict upon a person is legally classified as torture in and of itself, just look at how Randolph is reacting to Dimitri's dressing-down: the dude is having a complete breakdown and Dimitri hasn't even laid a finger on him yet!

- which he directly takes accountability for to Randolph's remaining family.

Uhh what? Did I miss the alt scene where Dimitri stops Byleth from gutting Fleche, admits what he did to her brother, and kneels to her in penitence?

Claude weaseled up to Byleth because he felt he could use them for his own ambitions - which he owns up to and grows out of doing.

Yeah, this is the only thing I generally don't see people trying to minimize, probably because it's the least-obvious offense and doesn't really hurt anyone. Claude comes out of Three Houses with squeaky-clean hands, and I respect Three Hopes for dirtying them a bit.

And yeah, that's about it. As I explained in the opening, Strikes is mostly just mad that we Edelgard fans don't view her as an awful person the way Strikes herself does. She's upset we can actually explain her actions, so she's venting that we're stripping Edelgard of all agency, with a side helping of shitting on Emperor and the Goddess again because that's her life, I guess.

[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[bharv]

hello new followers!

I've had a lot of new followers recently and I'm going to take this opportunity to plug my fics, because that's why I am here (between shitposts and rushed meta.) So! I'm going to do a game I've been threatening to do for a LONG time, and I'm going to invite other writers to do the same.

Rules are that you plug a handful of your fics from your current fandom(s), give a quick summary, and then put in 1-2 lines from comments as reviews. Because fuck it, self-promotion is fine actually.

The Portrait

BG3. 6.5k one shot, Enver Gortash/The Dark Urge. Lord Gortash requests a portrait of his paramour. The pay is good, the contract legitimate. It seems almost too good to be true... In pre-canon, a young artist takes a job from an upcoming player in Baldur's Gate society. "The voice was amazing, the descriptions are poignant without getting too far in the weeds, you show so much without telling explicitly." "if i could frame this fic and put it up on my wall, i would in a heartbeat! literally the definition of perfection"

Monster, Mine

BG3, 7k one shot. Enver Gortash/The Dark Urge. There is a beast haunting the city, and there is a tentative reaching of hands across the table. In pre-canon, Enver Gortash tries to find the truth of the Slayer. "This is a genuinely stunning piece of fiction." "Their poisonous codependency and joint descent into it is the absolute delight to read!"

Even if Love

BG3, 8k, short chapters. Multiple. Shades of love for The Dark Urge, Orin The Red, Enver Gortash, Wisteria Jannath, Sceleritas Fel, Kressa Bonedaughter, Lae'zel, Minthara Baenre, Sarevok Anchev and Araj Oblodra. Can be read individually, but they do build a narrative together. "it is a crime that AO3 only allows one kudos for a whole fic" "All so distinct and sharply observed, and such gorgeous writing throughout!"

Blood and Bone, Bone and Blood

BG3. 3.5K one shot. Ketheric Thorm/The Dark Urge A collection of moments between Bhaal and Myrkul’s chosen as they are bound together with Gortash as the chosen of the Dead Three. "It simply drips with style. Gorgeous prose." "Feral about this fic"

The First Leaf on the Tree after Winter

BG3. 9k, multi-chapter. Halsin/Jaheira. Background Wyll/Karlach. Their time was a century before, she thinks. What can they be, these old souls rooted in their ways, these observers of the world, these failed heroes? "All the kudos here. The ultimate kudos. Oh I really loved this." "I reached the end with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. so bittersweet and beautiful. I adore every word."

Breath and Rosewater

BG3, 20k, multi-chapter ongoing. Gale/Tav She has always loved music for many reasons; the patterns that present themselves, and the sheer joy of playing. Working out the fingering, and bringing joy to others. The breath before the first note. The freedom that comes from following your heart and letting it soar. He has always loved magic for every reason; the study of it, the power in it. The quiet contemplation of hours of learning, the thrill of application on the battlefield, and off of it. The understanding that comes from complete control of your craft. "most well-constructed intro paragraph that i've read in awhile—we get such a strong sense of glim, her expertise, her pride in her art, in just four sentences." "Oh this whole thing is so beautiful. i adore your prose."

[deadpresidents]

What do you make of some of the tumblr presidential fan accounts and their activities? Shitposting, fanart, bizarre headcanons, etc?

There are A LOT of those fan sites about the Presidents and the Presidency on Tumblr! I'm shocked at the sheer number of them that have been popping up over the past few years. I don't follow very many other Tumblrs, but they are frequently recommended to me on my dashboard and I often see my stuff being reblogged by them, so I do notice them and know what you are referencing. I usually don't follow them, but it's not because I'm some sort of history snob. I've just never followed all that many blogs here on Tumblr. Some of those Presidential fan sites on Tumblr can be weird and seem to have some goofy posts and reblogs that I just don't "get", but that's normally just due to the fact that I'm old and boring and socially incompetent. Even though I'm probably one of the OGs of Presidential history blogs on Tumblr because I started Dead Presidents in 2008 (!!!), my site has always been pretty normal, straightforward history for those 15+ years. For the first few years, I even tried to steer away from being too political because I worried it would interfere with the credibility of the history writing I was publishing on Tumblr. That all changed in 2015 when I couldn't stay on the sidelines as Trumpism started taking over. But my Tumblr has always been mostly conventional, and a lot of those Presidential fan sites are very much unconventional.

I think because of that the assumption would be that I'm annoyed or dismissive of the Presidential fan Tumblrs that you mentioned because of how unconventional they can be. However, that's not the case at all. I actually think it's really fucking cool that so many young people -- and most of those Presidential fandom Tumblrs belong to really young people -- are into history, especially Presidential history, so much that they've shaped their own little universe about it. There's some really creative stuff that I've seen when sites are recommended and pop up on my dashboard. I'm particularly impressed by the Presidential fan art that a lot of these kids are posting. They are having fun and they are finding unique ways to expand history literacy, which has always been one of my main goals for creating Dead Presidents in the first place, posting original writing, and answering questions over the years.

Again, some of the stuff goes completely over my head and I don't understand the memes because I'm old, but I still think it's really cool that people are finding their own path into the field of Presidential history -- a subject I've spent most of my life interested in and hopeful that I might be able to interest others in. And, despite what a lot of those fan sites might look like at first-glance or appear to be while quickly skimming through dashboard recommendations, a lot of these kids who are curating the sites genuinely know their shit! It's great and I'm excited by the idea that there are creators finding new ways to introduce these subjects and these endlessly fascinating stories to diverse new audiences.

At its core, history is always just a collection of connected stories about people, and with so many talented young folks finding and creating original ways of telling those stories I want to support and encourage those efforts. From what I can tell, there are a lot of these Presidential fan sites that follow me on Tumblr because I've been around forever and it's pretty easy to remember that I write about the Presidency because of my blog's name. This might make me sound even more ancient than I already am and nobody needs my validation to keep doing what they are already doing well and successfully, but I'm proud to see the work that those young people are doing to further their own interests in Presidential history and inspire history literacy through their own creativity. Those memes and fan art can animate and energize far different -- and newer -- audiences than my 3,000-word essays about Presidential history and that's so important. They are appealing to demographics that I can't reach as easily and in ways that I never would have thought of, and I'm always going to be an advocate for that (even if I never understand the memes!). And the most important part is that they are having fun exploring history and making history fun for new explorers.

[sparring-spirals]

There is a universe in which i was caught up properly on CR whenever what the fuck went down and Imogen verbally and definitively declared that- after everything leading up to this and the back and forth and indecision- that she'd be willing to take down her mom if need be. and i would have been deeply insufferable and writing 20+ separate meta posts and liveblog yelling posts and shitposts. This is not that universe so instead we will put this post here where i can have wildly uninformed (aka 20 eps behind) Emotions about it until someday i actually catch up.

(I know. i accidentally wrote potentially wildly off base/deeply out of date meta again. what can i say. i like shaking the concept of An Imogen (even if it is Outdated Imogen) in a jar. sorry.)

Because i was watching long enough, I think, to see Imogen in the throes of the hope for something better, to understand that Imogen was viewing her mom was a figure and an idea and an answer, that would make things easier. Her mom was- gone, so early. And so her mom, in her mind, was not a person she was an idea, and there was so much hinged on that! Dogged determination and anger at her father and a deep seated dislike of the powers in her hands and head even as they gave her a guilty rush. There were promises there that maybe no one else had made, but Imogen believed. Things built up. Expectations made. Lore crafted, even unconsciously, around someone who was, yes, important to Imogen, but more importantly: Missing. Gone. A blank slate to be filled in. A promise of an answer guide to open questions.

And then she meets her mom, and Liliana Temult goes from a figure to a person- with all the bells and whistles and rough edges. She meets her mom and her mom turns her away. Tells her to run. Tells her she should go. Tells her to leave.

And Imogen doesn't. In the same way she kept visiting libraries, keps asking, kept pushing for answers when it was just about her magic and her headaches and the voices. Imogen always, always wants to know. She keeps digging, she keeps trying, she reaches out, over and over and keeps trying to touch this figure in mist until she's real under her hands, and. Evidence piles up- of deeds gone wrong, blood on her hands, a figure standing next to Otohan (her friends bodies scattered, lifeless, around Otohan). She keeps reaching out, keeps trying, and is rebuffed, over and over. Things get worse and the skies get redder and magic goes dead and she's still- unsure, because what if there's a better reason, what if there's a better way, there has to be a reason, why. There has to be, right- maybe if- maybe. Maybe-

Its just like- a person as an idea. As a symbol. As a promise. One you build yourself up around and towards. One you talk about, not talk to.

And then the fog clears, and they are a human.

(And she's your mom, and she's not what you imagined. She's done you wrong. She's done your loved ones wrong. She's hurt you. She's hurt others. She's going to keep hurting you. She is going to keep hurting everyone. She is too far gone to reason with. She is not listening to you. She is flawed. She is. dangerous. She looks so much like you. You look just like her. You are so similar. You have always known you were similar. You always hoped. You.

Are not her. You are not hers. She is not yours. She is not who you thought she was. She was always someone else. So are you.)

Imogen walks through the bases pretending to be her mother. Liliana is a known face- a powerful one, a figure people fear. A well known silhouette. Imogen slips into the shadows of it, sometimes, when it serves her, but we know- she knows- its all an act. All a lie.

Liliana, after all, is alive, and well, making choices that she believes in and fighting for things with a dogged determination maybe only matched by her daughter.

Imogen knows this. I think. There's a part of her that maybe wishes that wasn't the case.

"There is no loyalty with this blood." And after all- only living people bleed.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 16/05/2024

Kass' Theme

Season 4 Episode 1 Featured on: SECOND WIND ~ SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day Tournament Original Soundtrack VOL. 2

Ripped by wolfman1405 feat. Buta Big Band

Requested by sabybeal! (Request Form)

Now, Wolfman1405 is certainly not a new name to be featured here on this blog. Be it with Sunday Morning, Theme of HoBART, and most recently Haltmanna feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, I've spilled many words on just how excellent of a contributor the guy is, how distinct his jazzy sound, sultry voice, and love for music truly is amidst the channel's sea of contributors. Yet through all of those posts and more, I'm somehow yet to write a post about Wolfman1405's most distinct trait - the rips involving his own full-on Jazz ensemble, the Buta Big Band. With Kass' Theme, it felt as if the group was finally able to show their full potential on the big stage - a no-nonsense, non-shitpost cover of a beautiful piece of Nintendo music.

I briefly mentioned back on Sunday Morning that contestants like Adam Levine never really felt destined for the big leagues - the idea that some contestants just *felt* like they wouldn't be able to make it to the top. The contestants of this rip, Nintendo Power, felt pretty similar to me - as good as their setlist was, it wasn't all too different from the type of music SiIvaGunner usually uploads, that being primarily Nintendo-focused. But their presence did of course feel very welcome althesame - it gave the team ample room to show just how far they could PUSH that Nintendo-centric focus the channel already had with genuine all-cylinders effort put in. That was, as I've ruminated on many times, a huge part of what made KFAD so incredible: it was, to put it in the corniest way possible, SiIvaGunner's Avengers moment, of so many rippers from the channel's history coming together to give it their absolute all for this one event. Frequent rippers, infrequent rippers, old legends like Triple-Q and guest contributors like GaMetal on Ink That or DM DOKURO on September. And in the middle of all this sat Wolfman1405 - contributing a half dozen rips to the event, with Kass' Theme in particular showing perhaps the full power he possesses.

It helps, of course, that Kass' Theme is one we all have collectively swooned for since the release of Breath of the Wild in 2017. Hell, later in that very same year, during Season 2, SiIvaGunner themselves contributed a full-on Fusion Collab in the titular Kass' Theme Fusion Collab - a listen that, fittingly enough, begins with Wolfman1405's very own piano playing. Kass' Theme, two years later, then truly feels like a full circle moment, and above all else like a huge flex from the part of the Buta Big Band. It's Kass' Theme, sure, but filled with personality around every corner, evident from the word go as the ensemble leads into the titular song with a snippet from the main The Legend of Zelda theme completely seamlessly, borderline mandela-effecting me into believing that it had always been a remix of said theme all along. Kass' Theme isn't a very long piece of music, but the rip journeys through so many different takes and rhythms to the tune in its runtime - a trumpet-lead at one section, the full band in another, a section broken up by drum beats, and what I believe to be a trombone solo halfway through it all. As a former trombone player (Mel fun fact of the day!) I can't help but admire it, both on principle alone but also for just how well it manages to fit this new take on the song.

There's layers to dissect at every turn with Kass' Theme, and even as it turns almost entirely into freestyle toward the arrangement's end, it never loses the soul of what it's adapting - and, of course, never stops sounding fantastic. It's that sheer quality that makes Wolfman1405's rips stand as tall as they do, that touch for finesse born from such a good understanding of music - and, perhaps most obviously ad most importantly, a love of the SiIvaGunner channel. It all reminds me of rips like Because I Love You - there's no bit, no punchline, no irony, naught but the love of genuinely good music, to be expressed as earnestly as possible with an audience of fans who are damn near bound to accept that sincerity with open arms. Kass' Theme is an absolute slam dunk for the Buta Big Band, and one of the MANY reasons I love Wolfman1405's contributions to SiIvaGunner - and hey, if you're interested in his work outside of the channel, may I recommend his two independantly-produced singles, Distance and Atlanta?

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №23!

Random/cursed edition!

What if I were to try and tell Fault!Wilbur where babies come from?

So. Phil has said that Tubbo's problem is not having blood in that one famous shitpost which got me into Fault in the first place. So. What if they did have blood though? Like what if some of the wax cells were filled with blood? Just spontaneously. For blood-letting purposes, yk.

I think I saw you mention somewhere that Fault!Tubbo either has or could potentially have memories from different alternative versions of themselves. Explain please?? Also does that mean that they potentially have memories from my personal au where most of my ocs and headcanons live? Btw my first reaction at that thought was "AAHH FUCK NONONONONO BITCH CHEESUS CRUST". It's not that bad though I promise I'd just be embarrassed either way.

What if. What if the Fault crew + the scp researchers got spontaneously teleported into a gacha reaction videos where they had to react to your shitposts, animations and drawings. Also throw a couple of 2018 style gacha vids in there for good measure. (While writing this I checked the lyrics of Devils don't fly and realised that it's actually a pretty serious song. Which like- damn.)

What role would the Fault crew characters get in the soldier poet king test? I do love that test a little too much maybe- here's the link to the quiz! https://uquiz.com/quiz/MYLbZ3/are-you-a-soldier-a-poet-or-a-king

This one has heavy spoilers!

1. Probably depends on how you do it, but I think he’d just take basic notes on sex-ed. Doesn’t have much puritan context of taboo or embarrassment on the subject. Fairly indifferent on the whole sex thing because he doesn’t think it’ll ever come up in his lifestyle of avoiding humans and knowing only 4 people. Probably a little irritated that its theories were so wildly off base, grumble a bit about how its own ideas about making Faustian bargains with dark entities and trading organ: [womb] for power make far more sense but whatever. He thinks pregnancy is stupid because how are you supposed to run like that? And your food is SIPHONED off by the fetus? Why can’t they get their own? And at the end you get a human. Terrible process all around. 3/10 Tommy has less ammunition to tease it now and that’s IT. 

2. Probably smell bad. Maybe they could do things like blush? Mosquitoes would go crazy for them. If this is ‘a previously weren’t a blood fruit gusher’ situation, Tubbo would be freaking out about 1. Who the muffin’s blood is this and 2. Starving 2 death babyy. Cause they really need that honey to operate. A bunch of baby larva are going to die even if all the workers can go into overdrive to feed the Hive. I think it would be very funny if Tubbo tried to break into a blood bank to donate it all. Shhh don’t worry about where this blood came from. Or what happened to the security cameras. It’s for a good cause trust trust. 

3.Heavy spoilers. The plan was that Tubbo and Wilbur get dunked through the near apocalypse via dissolving of the narrative due to SOMEONE being so depressed it fails to keep the void in check/potentially interpretable as being suicidal, thus exposing the two to pure void madness and realizing everything is a story. Which would entail having some familiarity/confusion about the source material of the dsmp, some vlogs, etc. but not necessarily AUs. But then SOMEONE turned out to be an abusive ass, and that plot point got very icky to me. I’ve been debating it for months, but realized I’m sexy and do what I want so am going to limit it to pure awareness of being a story, but not necessarily a fanfic. Still has the existential crisis of it and the philosophical implications that are going to so beautifully deal with themes of attachments, the purpose of narratives, and parallel whatever the hell trauma Tommy is dealing with during that section. But won’t actually deal with having any true awareness of stuff outside of Fault. Except maybe for realizing “Lawrence killed our muffining husband?!” because that scene was funny as hell to write. I dunno plans change. I’ve tried not to let outside events change my artistic vision, but it’s inevitable. 

4.Oh goodness they absolutely despise me for all the jokes about the horrors they’re going through. Probably think they’re being drawn ‘cute’ given they’re probably a lot freakier looking irl, and slightly distressed about being chibis. I think most would even consider it ‘out of character’ given their self perceptions don’t tend to be the most accurate. Current Wilbur is hissing and vehement about being constantly called an it because his character development is very far off from when that happens. Philza is a little disappointed that his bloodthirsty moments gets so much emphasis since he’s so chill 97% of the time. Tommy is absolutely chuffed to bits to realize he’s the main character, though trying to do damage control cause haha I’m fine guys this crazy internet person just made me seem edgy and depressed. 

Webb is going to strangle me for the Philza/Webb post tho. And the haha poor alcoholic divorcee doormat jokes. Dr. Blake assumes the blog is an anomaly and starts trying to torture it…?

5. I took the quiz sitting in the heads of all of them. 

Tommy: The Poet. “So I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me, till then my windows ache.” “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I am disappointed in you” literally happens in Fault. With Philza. “What is a sin? Inevitable” is pretty much something he tells Tubbo word for word. “What is hell anyway? Barren” "how can you love me with all that I've done ?"

The Blade: The Soldier. “if you were to wear a crown it would be covered in blood. The one of the guilty.” “The sword is at your side. It bore your name long before you did.” is rather literal both for his name and The Blood God. “but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" “What is hell anyway? Doubt”

Wilbur: The King. “Despite all your attempts, you have never been a healer. You hurt people and they leave and you are alone in a room full of silence. You sing to try and forget, but it does not work” everything about this. Trying to heal but being made of destruction, his fears of devouring his family, singing, memory loss, everything everything it’s so Wilbur. "come and be human with me" “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I love you." <literally Phil’s last words when Wilbur killed him in the Whumptober au. "but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" why it has insomnia.

Philza: The Poet. “There are rules. How many? One, and you will follow it.” For his Collected. “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough. You had the power to change things and it wasn't enough.” For all his dead children. "you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist" it's him reaching out. I love the reverse imagery with Phil, a god worshiping his mortals “anger is a strength in a world of apathy.” He feels no shame or burden for his anger, knowing well the good it can do. “Who taught you about guilt? The silence” 

Tubbo: The King. Absolutely perfect as a foil to The Blade btw. “What is duty? Undeniable” “The throne looks golden, and covered in flowers” “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough.” Saving people from Philza. “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I forgive you” Rosaliiiiiind. “Who taught you about guilt? God”

[ugh-yoongi]

hello, friends 🫶🏻

just a psa/personal rant?? not really a rant but

i wanted to talk about a few things, and i think the cleanest and easiest segue is to say: i have left all of my writing networks. it is 100% nothing personal to any of them, i have enjoyed each and every one, but there are a few reasons why.

one, i am not active in any of the discord servers, so there was ✨anxiety✨ about not contributing and feeling obligated.

two (and this is the segue part): obviously these networks have a big reach, and i am feeling more and more anxious about exposing my work to the masses.

it’s a double-edged sword, because i write what i want and what makes me happy, but there is always a part of me that wants feedback and wants other people to see and enjoy it. but it has been tense here lately and the “please do not perceive me” feelings are REAL.

there is just… no nuance anymore. me posting “i don’t think it was a good decision for jungkook to go to qatar” turned into a bunch of anons calling me islamophobic and a bunch of other stuff. me saying it was a bad look for jimin to feature on a song by a r*pist turned into “you can’t have an opinion because you’re a rap line stan.”

i’m most certainly not perfect. i try to do the right thing. but tumblr has turned into a place where you will get bullied off the site if someone does not like you personally and decides you’re the internet’s villain of the day. you are put into situations you cannot win. if you defend yourself, you’re making excuses. if you don’t, you’re guilty and all those things people accused you of being are true.

it is literally this tweet:

this is not a fandom known for being welcoming of discourse, but we have to be able to give others grace. there has to be nuance. like, we are literally stanning bts, who have done and said and written problematic things. we should not excuse intentionally harmful behavior, but we need to be able to have conversations and believe, to a certain extent, that not everyone behaves in malicious ways.

we all fuck up and will continue to do so. i hope your mistakes are handled with grace and you are given the benefit of the doubt, and i hope you extend that grace when others inevitably make mistakes as well.

i am not involved in drama here. i am 31 years old and too old and tired. i just want to write and cry over seokjin and shitpost with my friends.

i’m sure this has all been said before, but: i was offline at the time everything went down with m (shout-out the fucking car accident i got in on my way to pick up my friends from the airport, why did this seemingly happen to everyone??) but they are someone i have interacted with both here and offline, and how all of that played out was fucked up, to say the least. others have explained it far more eloquently than me, but it bears repeating.

so while i love writing and i love sharing my work, there is a part of me that’s anxious every time i post. including this. i will continue to do so and hope that this site becomes warmer and more welcoming, because i see a lot of posts lamenting writers leaving or deactivating, and i just think: “well, yeah.”

enough has been said about interaction and the like/reblog ratio, which is definitely a huge part. it can be demoralizing to spend so much time and effort writing a fic that gets little interaction. but the environment is a big part, too, and i’m hopeful that can change.

(but also—protect your peace, whatever that means for you. unfollow that person. block that tag. you don’t have to engage with everything, especially if it raises your blood pressure. one of the few good things about the internet is that you’re largely able to curate your experience. don’t feel guilty about taking advantage of that.)

i will finish this by saying: i am always open to having conversations so long as they’re in good faith. it is not anyone’s place to police my behavior, but if i ever do or say something that is not cool, you are more than welcome to address it with me. i encourage you to do so. as flor once said: comfort can’t help me grow up.

love u all. pls be nice to one another. 🖤

[soaps-mohawk]

I thought you should know that your story is what brought me back to Tumblr and helped me start having imaginative thoughts again, it was just static and a dark cloud in my lil noggin for a bit. I had abandoned all of my own writing, and this app as a whole aside from my anonymous shitpost blog (conveniently named 'hotwheelhamster'... with an awful mouse as the header... and now my little 🐰 emoji... the rodents have taken over) until I stumbled across CRCB.

Thank you for publishing your work, I know artists love to hear how their work has impacted people and for something to kick-start my imagination again makes it special to me. I'm gonna carry around CRCB in my brain for a long time I'm sure. I'll keep sending little blurbs as a return gift for as long as they're welcome. 💕

-🐰

Awwww omg 🥹 I could cry, like seriously (I'm on my laptop so I have none of my reaction gifs/memes but imagine that Gordon Ramsay one I use often.

Aaah I love hearing things like this. It really touches my heart that I inspired someone to pick writing back up 😭 it always makes me tear up that y'all think my writing is that good. I'm so happy that you've been able to get back into writing. It's so special and can be such a good outlet. This is making me cry omg. Happy tears, happy tears.

Y'all are way too sweet and way too kind. I so wish I was better at taking compliments so I'm not just repeating the same thing over and over. But know this means so much to me. It really does. Y'all are what keep me writing, the reason why this fic has made it this far and why I've kept it going. I love y'all so much (platonically).

[yutzen]

The Mandatory(?) Masterpost

Welcome to my page! ...again. Website shutdowns aren't going to stop my sinful hands, but hopefully that won't be a problem.

Expect stories about weird underground creatures and their troubles most of all, but there will be other tales to be told here (and possibly actual illustrations in the future, but that's gonna take a while). A lot of this started as prompt stories spun completely out of control (this will be a recurring theme), so be warned about that one. I'll be outlining what I have under the break to browse more easily if you want to see more, as well as providing a couple extra links if you want to read my work in other sites (or just follow me elsewhere too). Here goes!

First things first: Other accounts to track me in

Archive Of Our Own (I'll probably link to it for cross-posts. Also contains stories that are either too 18+, too fanfic or too personal for me to toss out here)

DreamWidth (May be easier to read)

BlueSky (Maybe you want to be updated easier, but obviously I can't post whole stories there)

Next up: Tags to keep track of when it comes to my stuff. This will probably be the main way for me to sort these things out, since I got used to it back on Cohost and still know the value of proper tagging. Much as there's a few other things I don't know.

#yut-fiction - Any story I actually write will be going under this, no matter the origin

#yut-musings - This one's gonna be stray thoughts and occasional shitposts probably.

#subterraneum (yut) - Subterraneum stories, no matter who they follow and where they're set

#subterraneum: lightless road - Subterraneum stories following what I call the main crew.

I also keep individual characters diligently tagged whenever they recur (or I think they may recur), if that helps!

Finally: Stories so far! I will try to keep this updated but feel free to hit me with a question or comment if I forget anything in the future.

The Subterraneum: Lightless Road - Days in the life of an outlaw gang, plying their trade across the seemingly caverns that form the Subterraneum, the world beneath worlds

A White-Knuckle Climb

The Hard Way

Where the Thrills Lie

Left in the Cold

Reminiscing by Candlelight

Trial by Fire

Of Silk and Fangs

Where the Heart Is

The Subterraneum: Restless Compendium - The caverns are grand, and full of mysteries, and with mysteries come those eager to figure them out for the world to see. Here are fragments from the work of one such individual, one only known by the title of "Ever-Restless Nirrhamidh"

A Quick Biological Primer on Subterraneum Citizens (not in character)

Rock Bottom: The Subterraneum and its Known Exits

The Last Time Around

The Tree and the Worm

Perfect Echoes

Until the Rains Come

The Subterraneum: Other Tales - Day-to-day life in the caverns can be quite a thing. Here, a smattering of tales about other individuals, away from smuggler and scholar alike.

Rainbows in the Dark

Party-Crasher

Just Prime

The Events of Windchime Hill

What's in a Name?

A Raven's Rambles - Just because you're a grand necromancer hungry for conquest and treasure doesn't mean you can't have off days. Here, a few less serious stories about Raven Lord Kaspar Swartrabe and his faithful shrike, Al-Kaud.

Animal-Proofing

Cramped, or Cozy?

Written in Blood(?)

Other stories - One-shots unrelated to any of the above. For now; just about everything before this point started as a one-shot too, once.

The Silver Revolution - In which a dragon finds himself involved in politics just for doing what he always did

More Times than You Could Count - In which an ever-stretching series of time loops is finally put to an end

The Rise and Fall of the Emporium - In which the idea of mid-dungeon shops is given a closer look

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

1/100 days of getting my life back together

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

So I decided to try to do a thing for the first time ever since forever - try to start having a blog(?) again, because, well, the brain rot is real. I've deleted twitter for now to give my brain some rest, because a lot of things were stressing me out.

My life has been a real mess the last few months and I really need to get my shit back together. This semester was the biggest flop so far (which is not to say that much - it's only a second one, but still) and I'm really upset about it.

I've come off one of my meds, that were making me insanely sleepy whenever I tried to focus (still have no idea whether that was a real thing or no, but they either way were not doing anything for me), got back on antidepressants, that are a-okay to me, at least side effects wise, and I was hoping that NOW I will be so much better at school. It got so much worse.

Not my room, but the vibes sum everything up quite perfectly. Everything feels insanely hard to do. I feel like a failure. I'm stressed and lost, but we persevere to the best of our abilities.

Anyway, I am writing this post one day after the 3rd of July, because I figured I should start somewhere, and despite wanting to have the first entry be as perfect as I want to become later, I figured that I have already tried that approach earlier, and it always falls off. Maybe it's better to start bad, slowly trying to build up all the habits and changes.

After all it is 100 days of trying to get my life together, not 100 days of describing my life being together.

Anyway, on 3rd of July I wanted to do some document related work and do some job applications, but because of fucking up my sleep schedule days prior to finish an assignment (which I got 100% for, insanely), I could not resist falling asleep in the day and then waking up late in the evening. That then scaled to 4th of July night, when I could not fall asleep again until 4 am, and the cycle repeated again.

So, yeah. T'was a flop. I didn't do anything good or productive for studying. The only thing I managed to accomplish was tidying up the place a little, but not the dishes. Luckily, my boyfriend helped me with that. It feels so much better to be able to work as a team on tasks that feel this big and unbearable.

2/100 days of getting my life back together

Thursday, July 4, 2024

It is currently 13:44 as I am writing this. Woke up (or more so, thankfully, got woken up by my boyfriend) by about 12:30. Still feel very poopy, but in today's plans are to do some studying for the first out of my two exams, and maybe a little bit for the second one.

DB 2

DB 3

SE2

dishes

DB 4

Probably will keep editing this post for any relevant updates that are not shitposts.

15:08 - 16:02 finished the db2 and 3 bits, 3rd one was way shorter than I expected. it turned out that I already had a set of flashcards on quizzlet there on it, so that was a win. originally was planning to study for one hour, but then finished 6 mins earlier, because my brain was fried and finished the dishes on my break. now back to studying

16:17 - 18:01 finished working on the SE2, but the lecture was kinda short and won't be that important at the exam, so I can't say I studied it properly. i will put more thought into it later (maybe), but not for now, since my ass is BURNING from the heat of upcoming deadline for the exams and there are more complex things i need to learn. started working on DB 4, which was an addition on initially planned to-do list. a little more than 1.5 hours of trying to understand the lecture made my brain feel GONE. i started to feel very irritated at the end, so im gonna be taking a break.

18:36 - 19:52 some minecraft break for mindlessly and quietly doing some things around our base. cleaned up the ground for where i want to build our house, transferred some stuff and organized it in a new chests system. the project will take A LOT of time so yuh. did i spend too much time on it? yes. will i do it again? also yes, probably. then we ate some dinner and now im comming back to some studying and note taking.

21:09 - 22:22

did some more note taking on DB4, not finished with it yet, but I think I'll call it a day for today. I'll probably play some more Minecraft before sleep and reread my notes and flashcards too. overall I feel still kind of unsatisfied with the day and its' results, I think mostly because of this is 1.5 hour game break, but it is what it is for now. overall I guess I did do some stuff done today, so it's still a win, right?

[dearspiritss]

Listen- you expect me not to write about somewhat fresh water!Dew and Aether after reading that? Anyways enjoy this minor shitpost of Aether being a little jealous <3

tw: ghouls eat humans, suggestive to an extent, excessive descriptions of blood/flesh/murder, paranoia warning(?)

It was rare that he got jealous like this. It almost never happened, but here he was, standing in the kitchen watching Dew and Swiss cuddling on the couch. The way Dew would giggle every now and then made his stomach curl in an unpleasant way. It made him want to throw up the dinner Mountain had prepared a few hours before. He wanted Dew to be all his. Only his to touch and admire, but he just couldn’t find a way to bring it up with Dew.

He knew Dew loved him, and that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, but it wasn’t enough for him. Their bond just wasn't strong enough, he needed closure. He needed more, but Dew was still relatively new and learning about the surface. There were still some things he’d yet to discover, and Aether definitely didn’t want to push anything unfamiliar on the water ghoul. A grin slowly made its way onto the quint’s lips at a brilliant idea that popped into his head. What was Dew’s favorite thing to do so far?

Hunt.

The tiny ghoul loved chasing down the random, unwelcomed humans in the Ministry’s forest. He could smell their fear and worries from miles away, it simply made his mouth water. The scream as he pounced on the unsuspecting human, sinking his teeth into their bitter flesh made his own crowd with goosebumps. He loved the way their warm, thick blood coated his mouth. The homey irony taste brought him an odd sense of comfort. It was perfect.

Aether kept his sight glued to the water ghoul for the next few days, watching his every move, just waiting for the slight change in his eyes. The feral glint in his eyes when he smelled a human lurking. He was going to give up, let himself be overtaken by the growing feeling in his gut, until he saw it. The way Dew poked up from the couch, eyes wide and hungry looking, he decided now was the time to strike. He sits down his mug and casually trolls over towards the ghoul.

“Smell that? Bet it makes your mouth water.” Dew frantically nods his head which makes Aether chuckle. “Wanna go get ‘em?” Dew’s never gotten up quicker from his seat, rushing towards the door. “Wait.” Dew stops dead in his tracks, slowly turning back to the quint. “Together, me and you.” Dew impatiently whined. “Then why are we still standing here? I don’t want them to escape.” Dew gave his best pouty face, crossing his arms for extra effect. “They won’t escape, I won’t let them.” He grabs the water ghoul’s hand and pulls him outside.

Dew takes off, sprinting into the forest, Aether following close behind him. The quint somehow managed to lose track of Dew, but he was already so deep into the hunt that it fogged up his mind. The scent of a terrified human was persistent around him. He hid away in a bush, concealing himself in the dark shadow of leaves. He held his breath at the sight of the human. It was a woman, maybe in her late twenties. Soft blonde hair laid gently on her fair skin, terrified blue eyes attentive to her surroundings. She was perfect for his Dew, absolutely beautiful, no doubt she tasted beautifully too. He crept out of the bush, sneaking up behind the trembling woman.

Dew was searching frantically, he was frustrated. He kept losing the scent, unable to sense the human roaming around. He growled in anger, but stopped at the sound of a blood curdling scream. He ran as fast as his legs would let him in the direction of that beautiful sound which he craved. He pushed his way past the towering trees and thick bushes, he spotted Aether crouching beside the lifeless body. “Aww, no fair. You got to have all the fun.” He pouted again, turning away from the scene in front of him. He almost turned back at the sudden sound of movement behind him, but chose to ignore it, being slightly agitated that his mate didn’t wait for him.

Aether leaned down to the woman's neck, licking up the sweetly bitter taste of sweat, then sinking his sharp fangs into the sheer skin. He fed on the woman, almost forgetting why he was there to begin with. He filled his mouth with the syrupy liquid that once pumped through her now numbing body and pulled away. He hummed and stood, pivoting on his heels. The earth crunched and crumbled as he walked towards the water ghoul who was still pouting. The quint's hands moved to grip onto the smaller ghouls thin waist, making him yelp in surprise. Aether spun Dew around, locking eyes with the smaller ghoul.

Dew couldn’t deny the arousal of having the blood covered quint towering over him, looking down at him with such a feral look in his eyes. Almost as if he could devour him at any second, and satan below Aether wanted to, but he put that aside for another day. Aether leaned in, smashing their lips together. His tongue pushed its way past Dew’s lips, the honey-like substance he held in his mouth now flowing into Dew’s. Dew groaned, finally his thirst being fulfilled after so long. Waves of pure lust rolled off of the two, low growls and whines suffocating the air. Neither of them could pull away, completely hypnotized by the other.

Aether was the first to pull away, looking down at the mess he'd created of the ghoul. Pupils blown as he was gasping for air, a mixed drop of blood and saliva rolling down his chin. Aether chuckled, giving a tight squeeze to his waist before leaning down to the ghouls ear. His tongue traced the curve of Dew’s ear, voice thick and low. “Mine. Only mine.” He growled, pulling the ghoul closer. “Yours, all yours.”

So basically 1046 words about Aether tongue fucking blood into Dew’s mouth, thats it :)