#i wouldnt have this issue IF I KNEW WHERE MY SWITCH WAS

[staravya]

uoghH <- wants to write a fic for a canon ive never touched

[gyupinkys]

Use you

Hoshi x reader ft. txt

Soonyoung doesn't play around when it comes to his girl. Despite you being able to fend for yourself, he can't help but worry when you turn up missing. You on the other hand, you're having the time of your life putting a bratty Soobin and his friends in their place.

WARNINGS: MURDER, GORE, TORTURE, guns, knives, switch reader, dom hoshi, impact play, degradation, masturbation, some mxm, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, voyerism, exhobitionism, mommy and daddy kink bondage, and more. I kinda went a little ham.

WC-2.8K

Hoshi’s knuckles are really starting to hurt. He’s not the muscle man so why is he the one torturing this man for information? 

“Where is she?”

“You’re never getting your bitch back.” the man tied to the chair says with a bloody smile. 

Soonyoung likes to think he’s a calm man. He always tries to keep his head steady, he tries to think things through, but right now all he can see is red. This fucking low life thinks he can disrespect you and it’s wont become an issue?

“That bitch huh?” Hoshi says with a smile; turning around to pick up his favorite, sharpest knife. You gifted this to him two years ago after you stabbed him in the leg for flirting with a girl at the club. The knife is beautiful, matte black blade with gold detailing and across the handle is his name engraved. You were so excited to give it to him only to see a girl's hand on his chest and his hands on her hips. You knew he was trying to rile you up, make you take him to the nearest bathroom and fuck him like he’s yours, but little did he know he had another thing coming. You and Hoshi have an open relationship, you both know you wouldnt work well tied down. Hoshi don’t mind you being with other people, frankly he think it’s kind of hot knowing you fuck other people but at the end of the day your his and you’ll do anything for him.  God, just remebering that night is making him hard but he needs to focus on the fucker who has the nerve to take you from him. 

Hoshi runs the knife across the cheeks, carving a smile into his face. “You know I've always wanted to do this to someone, joker style.” The man groans in pain and spits blood onto Hoshi's face. Without hesitation hoshi cuts the man's pointer finger clean off, making him scream.  

“You have nine more opportunities to tell me where she is.”

“Last I saw her she was gagging on my cock.”

“OK. You’re done.”

He shoves his knife straight into the mans throat making him gag and choke on his own blood.

“Gag on that bitch.”

Hoshi leaves the room frustrated. None of these guys give up any information and it’s already been two days since you were taken.

“Hosh, if you keep killing them you won’t get any information.” Jun sighs from outside. 

 “He doesn't know shit he’s just tryna piss me off.”

“Take a breath man, you know she can fend for herself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know I can see why Karina won’t fuck you, you punch like a bitch.” you say as you spit blood out of your mouth. That's a complete lie, well not the Seulgi part but he absolutely does not punch like a bitch. Your head is throbbing after only one punch.

“Shut it Y/N, I really don’t want to hurt you.” Yeonjun spits.

“What is your goal here? All you're gonna do is piss off everyone and Hoshi will make sure to kill you.”

“You know how much respect I’ll get for being the one to take one of SVT’s girls? Make her mine? That's the biggest slap in the face to any man.” 

“You're so cute Soobin, but that’s not happening. You got the right idea, but the wrong bitch.”

“And what’s little old you gonna do?” he says with a smile.

“You really don’t know who you're messing with.”

“I’m so scared," he said sarcastically and turned to leave the room. Before the door closed you hear him sadly say to someone outside “Yeonjun, do i really punch like a girl?” 

This makes you chuckle to yourself. You feel bad for the poor kid. He’s trying to make a name for himself but this isn't the right way to do it.  Slipping your hands out of the poorly tied ropes you stand up and stretch your legs. These guys are clearly new to the game, they only tied your arms together which is a rookie mistake. They also didnt search you which is even more of a mistake.  You don’t think they’re stupid enough to leave the door unlocked, but you try it anyway and low and behold it's unlocked.You pick up a gun from the tool table and sigh feeling even more sorry for them, this is very pathetic. 

You walk outside to see this is an empty warehouse. You’d think they’d have someone guarding the door but you walk right out. You hear commotion coming from a side room and you peek inside seeing five guys arguing over a game. You decide to mess with them, walking in and taking a seat next to Soobin.

“What are we playing?”

They all look at you with wide eyes. “Beomgyu! I thought you said you tied her up!”

“I did, I don't know how she got out.” 

“Guys, you really need to figure your shit out.” you sigh.

“Why are you all sitting there go get her!”

Beomgyu jumps up and tries to grab you but you hit him across the face with your gun making everyone stop. They all put their hands up and you tell them sit down. 

“Guys, I really don’t want to kill you ok! You seem like nice dudes but this is not the way to make a name for yourselves. You can’t be a puppy and try to attack an elephant or some shit. Start small.” 

“I told you we shouldn't do this.” the blue haired one says.

“Taehyun this is not the time for “I told you so” “

“Can you not tell them it was us, I really don’t want to die.” the tall black haired one whimpers.

“Aren’t you so cute, what's your name?”

“Kai”

“Kai, I can’t let you guys go without punishment.” you pout.

“Pleaseeee” he says giving you a finger heart.

“God, you guys are so cute.” you say with a smile. 

“Stop calling us cute. I don’t know why we're even listening to you, bitch.”

“Soobin. Do you know that I kill people for a living?” you say as you approach him.

“So trust me when I say I’m not scared of five little boys who think they have the balls to be in the mafia.”

“I think you’re underestimating us,” he says as he looks down on you.

“Do your best, love.”

He goes to throw a punch at you which you quickly dodge and grab his wrist, twisting it until it snaps.

“Oooh thats gotta hurt.” you mock in false sympathy as he drops to floor clutching his hand.

“I’m sorry baby, here let me fix it for you.” you grab his wrist and pull it, making him whine in pain. “Are you going to behave Soobin?” 

“Yes, yes please just fix it” he whimpers.

You snap his wrist back in place making it instantly stop hurting, hearing him sigh out a breath of relief. “Go sit back down and shut up.” He stands up and sits on the couch, furthest away from you.

“Kai, sweetie, come here.”

He sheepishly stands up and walks over to you with his head hanging. You put your hand on his chin and raise his head to make him look you in the eye. 

“Give me your phone kai.”

“You promise not to get us killed?” he pouts.

“Yes, sweetie, I pinky promise.”

He gives you his phone and you call Hoshi.

“Babe, I need you to come here. Track the address and come by yourself you won’t need any backup.”

“Y/N what's going on? Why would I come by myself?”

“Soonie, I have everything under control, I promise just come.” 

“Babe-”

“Hoshi, just come here jeez.”

“Ok babe I’ll be there.”

You hand your phone back to Kai and smile at him. “Can you get me some rope, Kai.” you say and drag your fingers up his arm making him blush.

“Kai, don’t.” Taehyun says.

“Go get it for me baby” you say and walk over to Beomgyu grabbing his hair. 

“I’m sorry about this by the way.” you say and softly touch his face making him flinch.  

“I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

“How? I’ll make you feel really good love, I promise.”

Kai comes back with the rope and you tie them up one by one with little complaints. You make sure to be careful with Soobins wrist, not wanting to hurt him more. You tell them to go sit in the corner and be quiet making taehyun stay on the couch. 

“Gyu, why did you want to hurt me?” you say caressing his face.

You see his eyes dilate in real time. “Oh you’re enjoying this?”

“No.”

You straddle him and he groans, his hips bucking up into you. 

“What do you want me to do to you Gyu?”

He groans and you feel him throb under you. “Whatever you want Y/N.” 

“Whatever I want?” you say with a malicious smile.

“Well, I think I’m gonna punish you. Do you think you deserve a punishment?” 

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you agree.” You unbutton his pants and pull his boxers down, pulling him out. He’s much bigger than you anticipated, his dick was almost completely hard and throbbing. You spit directly on his tip and make his moan out, pulling at his restraints. You climb off him and round the couch so you're both facing the boys, draping your hands over his shoulders and beginning to stroke him. The other boys are staring hard at the two of you, all with dents in their pants. Yeonjun is biting his plump lips with furrowed eyebrows and Kai has the cutest blush on his face.

“Gyu, you feel so good in my hands. So big and thick you would stretch me out so nicely.”

“God, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

“Only good boys get to fuck me baby.” you speed up your pace and tighten your grip making him buck his hips wildly. His moans fill up the warehouse and the other boys start shifting around trying to loosen the ropes.

“Yeonjun come here and rub Gyu for me and if he cums I won't let you cum.”

He groans but gets up and you re-tie his restraints so his hands are in front of his body.

He spits in his hands and strokes Beomgyu watching you walk up to Soobin.

“I don’t think you deserve anything. You’ve been so bad to me soobin.” you say as you rub him through his pants.

“I’m sorry, please, please, please.”

“Hmm, I don’t think so.” you say and turn to Taehyun who's looking at you with wide eyes.

“Taehyun come with me.” You sit on the couch and spread your legs. You pull down your pants and pull his face into your clothed core and he starts lapping at you. He rubs his face back and forth into you, his nose bumping your clit.

“Take my panties off honey.”

He pulls your underwear band with his teeth and lets it snap back on your skin. You smile at him and pick up the gun next to you pointing it at his head. 

“Don't play games honey.”

He immediately pulls your panties down and dives in. He sucks and licks, devouring you. You look over to Beomgyu and Yeonjun seeing both staring straight at your pussy; soobin and Kai doing the same.  You run your hands through Beomgyus' hair, stroking his scalp. 

“You wanna cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes, please let me cum Y/N, I’m so sorry”  

Seeing him look so helpless and pathetic makes you want to get up and fuck him but thats not what this is about. This is a punishment. 

“Yeonjun stop.” They both groan but Yeonjun stops stroking him. 

“I want you to switch. Gyu, you stroke junnie nice and slow for me ok?”

“Ok” he says, taking a deep breath.

You pull Taehyun deeper into you and he sticks his tongue into you, thrusting in and out. 

“Just like that honey, I want you to make me cum just like this.”

He moans into you,the vibration pulling you closer to the edge. You look up straight into Soobins eyes, giving him a smirk. 

“Don’t you just wish you behaved?”

He hangs his head and doesn’t answer you. 

Taehyun sucks hard on your clit and you’re thrown over the edge, moaning loudly making everyone groan. You pull Taehyun’s head back and catch your breath. You call Kai over and push Taehyun to the side. They don’t get to cum. “You three go back and sit by Soobin. Kai, sweety, take a seat for me Ok?”

 “My only good boy hmm?”

“Yes”

“Yes, who?” you say as you unbuckle his belt.

“Yes, mommy.” 

“There we go baby.”

You pull him out and lick a long stripe up his shaft. He whimpers and bucks his hips into your mouth.

“I’m sorry mommy, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s ok sweet boy.” you say and take his whole length in your mouth. Hoshi’s trained you to take his whole cock in one go, since Kai is slightly smaller it’s not an issue for you. You use your hand to rub his dick as you suck on his tip. You keep sucking until he’s whimpering and on the verge of tears.

“Baby?” you hear Hoshi’s voice echo through the warehouse.

“Perfect” you whisper and pull off Kai with a pop.

You walk outside to see a very apprehensive Hoshi looking around. 

“Hi, baby” you smile and give him a sweet smile.

“Why is there blood on your face? I’m gonna kill these motherfuckers.” 

“Soonyoung, calm down. I’m already punishing them come look.”

You pull Hoshi into the room and he see’s five boys all with their hard dicks out looking humiliated. 

“So you’re the punks that took my girl?”

They all hang their heads in shame. 

“What a pathetic scene.” he says as he walks further into the room.

“Baby, you should've just killed them, because if you don’t I will.”

“Soonie dont kill them. They're just trying to make a name for themselves.”

“They're not doing shit, especially not using my girl.”

“We already used your girl. Quite the slut you’ve got on your hands.” Soobin says with a smile.

You immediately run in front of Hoshi, knowing he was two seconds from killing Soobin. 

“He’s just a kid babe, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“I feel sorry for him.”

He gives you a dark look.

“Y/N, get on your knees.”

You immediately listen and drop to your knees looking up at him. He looks at Soobin, “I’ll show you how to really use a slut like her.”

You unzip his pants and pull out his cock spitting in your hand. Hoshi likes it beyond messy, he likes to see tears run down your face while you’re struggling to breathe. He pushes you all the way down his shaft, your nose on his pelvis. He starts to fuck your throat like he would your pussy. Your throat burns and you can’t breathe,your eyes start to flutter. He pulls out and slaps you, pulling your hair. 

“You can’t go two days without some dick? You resort to playing with punks like this”

“I’m sorry daddy. Maybe if you found me sooner I wouldn’t need to” you say with a smile. 

The five boys' eyes widen at you calling him daddy. Big bad dom Y/N is suddenly calling Hoshi daddy?

You’ve really riled Hoshi up now, he pulls you up and throws you over the couch so you're facing the boys.

“Watch real good, I’ll show you how to put those pathetic dicks to use.” he says as he slides in, not giving you time to adjust as he starts ruthlessly thrusting into you. He gathers your hair into his hands and pulls your head up so you have to look at all the boys. 

“Tell them how it feels baby.”

“It feels so good daddy, don’t stop.”

His thrust somehow deepens and gets harder, your whole body shaking. 

“Daddy, can I cum?”

“No, you don’t deserve it baby. You barely deserve me fucking you.”

“Daddy, please I need it so bad.”

“No.”

He puts your leg up on the couch and thrust impossibly deep, hitting your g spot everytime making you groan.

“Shit this pussy is always so nice and tight. I bet you wish you could feel, huh Soobin?” hoshi taunts.

“Fuck you” Soobin spits making hoshi laugh.

He feels you squeezing the life out of him, a clear sign you're about to cum. “Don’t you think about it baby.” he says, making you groan as he pulls out. He pushes you to your knees and cums on your face with  a groan. 

You look up at him with his cum covering your face and smiles. “So pretty like this, baby.” making you smile along with him.

He pulls his pants up and walks over to the boys bending down to Soobin. “Don’t think about trying some shit like this again. I’m not as nice as my dear Y/n, I’ll fucking kill your bitchass.”

“Let's go baby.”

[mercymermaid]

so

i think it's time for my fnaf movie rant

HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE SPOILERS (obviously)

these are in no particular order and are just a conglomeration of thoughts that i wrote down immediately after watching so they don't make any sense half the time, and don't include theories i've seen recently

enjoy

- THE MATPAT CAMEO??? THE THEORY LINE???? HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE THEATER SCREAMED.

- why did golden freddy pull a sans w the blue eye what happened to the white smh

- DUDE. I CALLED THE 'VANESSA AS AFTON'S DAUGHTER' HALFWAY THROUGH THE FUCKING MOVIE

- THE SECOND SHE EXPLAINED THAG SHE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON AND THAT SHE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HELP, IT WAS OBVIOUS.

- because mike explained that their dad was gone, right? and afton clearly recognized the schmidt name. due to this, i originally thought that maybe schmidt was some code name and that only the aftons could recognize it, but now i have a theory

- the families are switched somehow. Vanessa is either a stand-in for Charlie or herself, which makes no sense story-wise

- however, Mike, Abby, and Garrett are clearly afton children. Mike is Mike (and in the games, Mike apparently uses Schmidt anyway to investigate his dad), Abby can bring lengthened to Elizabeth, and the crying child doesn't even canonically have a name 💀

- so i was thinking what if the families were eswitched? vanessa was some sort of charlie stand-in, with afton as her dad, while the schmidts were raised by Henry

- this would explain why he recognized schmidt and offered the job at Freddy's - he'd already killed Garrett, so he wanted to finish off the collection. Mayne this could be a parallel to him killing Charlie, but since there's three kids, he needs to get them all??? idfk

- ONE OF THE GUYS BREAKING IN HAD A MIDNIGHT MOTORISTS T-SJIRT (the guy who got killed by the cupcake)

- i am soglad i went with who I did because i doubt any of my other friends would understand any of it 😭

- THEY PLAYED LIVING TOMBSTONE AT THE END. YES. THANK YOU. THAT IS ALL WE EVER NEEDED IN LIFE.

- the balloon boy bit 😭 i doubt anyone not in the fandom would appreciate it as well as we did smh

- ugh i wish mark had his cameo but iron lung is important too ig

- THE WAY THE AUDIENCE SCREAMED WHEN AFTON TOOK OFF HIS MASK BRAHAHHDHCJC

- WE WERE ALL WAITIJG FOR IT

- we probably won't get to see a "WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87" moment because garrett got kidnapped instead of chomped smh

- BUT. THEY KEPT THE GUILT. IN THE GAMES, MICHAEL SHOVED CC INTO FREDBEAR'S MOUTH. IN THE MOVIE, HE WASNT PAYING ATTENTION, WHICH CAUSED HIS BROTHER TO GET KIDNAPPED. OH THE FUCKING PARALLELS DUUUUDE

- also max getting bit in half is probably all we're gonna get of The Bite

- MATTHEW LILLARD FUCKING ATE. HE KNEW THE ASSIGNMENT. BEST AFTON.

- only issue is the lack of screaming during the springlocking. only your stomach is getting stabbed, not your throat yet. Scream.

- it would've been so funny if he pulled the "MICHAELLL DONT LEAVE ME HERE MICHAEL MICHAEL" while he was being dragged away but homie was too busy dying

- HE SAID THE LINE. "I ALWAYS COME BACK." OH MY GOD.

- NOBODY EXPECTSD VANESSA TO GET STABBED. THE THEATER GASPED.

- "IT'S ME" ON THE MIRROR DBSJAJXJXJXJDJ

- stop bonnie and chica staring down the camera while they release the cupcake is so funny 😭

- MORE ON THE FAMILY SWITCH. ABBY IS ELIZABETH, OBVIOUSLY, WHICH IS ONLY MADE MORE TRUE BC CHICA TRIES TO SHOVE HER INTO THAT DOLL-LOOKING THING. YOU KNOW WHAT IT RESEMBLES? SCRAP BABY. MY FIRST THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SUIT WAS "dude is that scrap baby?"

- the lack of a mrs. afton is so real 🤩🤩

- dude the entire fort scene was actually so fucking hilario

us

- like bonnie just. falling backwards. is so him yk

- BUT GOLDEN FREDDY. THERES THE KID. WHERE'S CASSIDY? IS GARRETT ALSO POSSESSING GOLDEN FREDDY IF HE'S THE PARALLEL FOR CC? WHAT ABOUT VANESSA? 

- the issue with the family swap is that Vanessa just doesn't fit in. we can't play it off as a parallel to Charlie, because vanessa is already an established character with a connection to afton.  fuck you Scott.

- SPEAKING OF. SCOTT KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. HE CATERED TO US LIKE A FUCKING ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET. THE INSIDE REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS?! THE MATPAT CAMEO??? THE LIVONG TOMBSTONE?!?!?! 

- a bit upset they didn't keep Freddy's flashing face sequence smh

- THE SPRINGLOCKING WAS SO GOOD BC THEY LEFT HIM IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION AS CANON. ALSO IT WAS GOLDEN FREDDY WHO FINALLY LEFT HIM THERE, WHICH IS A HIT AT THE WHOLE "GOLDEN FREDDY HATES AFTON THE MOST" (cough cough ultimate custom night)

- they kept in the red eyes in some parts but im very glad they weren't in the rest. they looked fucking high. what happened to the black with white?? THAT WOULDVE BEEN TEN TIMES SCARIER AND APPEALED TO CANON, WHATS THE WITH THE CHANGE MAN 😭

- bonnie never got his eyebrows

- cupcake slayed and ate (literally!!!!)

- im actually super curious why half of spring bonnie is so damaged. now, it could go with the whole "this place hasn't been touched in forever, yadda yadda, destroyed suit makes it more sensitive and easy to set off" but. it's only one half of it. there could be a perfectly plausible explanation of "Oh yeah, only half of it was exposed to bad stuff, other half was covered with a tarp" ITS FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S. ITS NEVER THAT SIMPLE. HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING? also a bit curious about whether movie afton already got springlocked once like book afton did (has game afton getting springlocked previously been confirmed? please lmk)

- i really love how they used the "the robots are just children" because they love abby and just want to play and shit and they're so sweet but they're so easily manipulatable 

like

afton probably didn't have to do much besides show the pictures and convince them he was good

and all it took for them to turn on him was abby drawing a second picture

what if she convinced them vanessa was bad or some shit? they are really fucking gullible.

- also what the fuck was that freddy head saw blade monstrosity??!! what 😭 

- like it never ends up being explained and it's not a stand-in for springlocks or being shoved into suits because those are very very much there

- literally the second i heart matpat's voice my heart went oop 

- it took a second for everyone to register it but we went WILD

- AND HE DROPPED THE "BUT THATS JUST A THEORY"

- HE'S SO SILLY

- FOOD THEORY IS SO REAL THO 😭

- no bc a markiplier cameo would be so great but imagine if they used his reaction thing

- like they got him to film "WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87" as max gets bitten, and he appears in the corner for that one line

- even better, not reaction camera style, just standing there right next to her and then never being mentioned again

- either that or him popping up on the cameras (again, either as a reaction image, or standing there menacingly)

- THEY HAD SPARKY

- also why DID vanessa keep Mike in the dark abt afton (not calling him her dad, not stooping that low) and him trying to kill Abby? fear of authorities getting involved? this is bumfuck nowhere Utah, she is the fucking authority, and considering what his aunt said, a police officer defending her dad against some random guy isn't gonna go well for him

- like sure she told him to not bring abby but she didn't tell him why of course it's not gonna go well

- about the family swap. it's so easy to tell the scmidts are supposed to be a version of the afton kids, why the fuck did they name him GARRETT?

- I love the whole references to phone guy

Would've loved to see actual phone guy (imagine if THAT was matpat's cameo)(coughs in fnaf the musical) but afton is good enough

but abby's "hello" while exploring Freddy's sounds so much lime balloon boy wtf

- abby is a monogram (or whatever it's called) for baby which might not have that much symbolism bc abby is short for Elizabeth but the more the merrier yk

- i think i answered my own question abt whether movie afton has been springlocked

considering how he fuckign SPRINTED at michael and made all these moves like kicking and shit? yeah, I'm more surprised it took him so long to get springlocked

same with game afton actually like.. hello? stop laughing at the fucking dead kids in such a damp room, it's your own fault dumbass

Basically book afton was the smartest about wearing the suit bc of experience

- THE WAY CARL LAUNCHED ITSELF AT MICHAEL WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY LIKE BRO FUCKING ASCENDED 😭

- my friend is complaining abt how flirty Vanessa is w Michael which is really funny for no reaskn

- MY FRIEND INSULTED FOXY'S "dum dum dum" SAYING HES NOT CUT OUT FOR MUSIC. HELLO?!?!?@?@?@?@@

- as my friend mentioned, springlock scene was kinda anticlimactic lmao like where's the screaming? the blood?

- according to the same friend mentioned three times already:

Best parts of the movie

1. Matpat saying "that's just a theory"

2. Living tombstone credits

3. Vanessa getting stabbed

- the sounds at the end spell out "come find me" so wooohooo sequel time?? :))

- the "i always come back" was NOT it 😭 at least he said it yk

- okay someone pointed out that it was his last words so they were desperate and mad and showcase his lack of confidence in if he's actually gonna come back 

which is cool

but I like the og more yk

- about abby's springlock suit: its the same doll from 1:35 am (fazbear frights 3), then there's sparky as an animatronic ans restaraunt, wppohoho

[kindlyre]

okay so like this is going to be EXTREMELY long but its not hostile at all (and i'm the guy who did those tags, that was my main blog and this is my dangan sideblog) im just saying Why i left those tags and What i think of v3

and im saying all this because i like v3, i really do! i just wish it was better!

im gonna touch on the localization stuff first: they changed some of kokichi's lines that sort of, removed his more "soft" moments (for lack of a better word) and gave him depth?

like, there was this one time in one of the trials where kaito calls him naive, and ouma just insults him back and laughs at him or whatever

but in the original, kaito called him iirc "pure?" and ouma says something along the lines of "no one's ever referred to me like that before..." with the implication being he's more stunned, possibly even touched, that someone referred to him with such an "innocent" term

but thats nothing compared to gonta. the localization and honestly the game itself did gonta so goddamn dirty. in the og, he doesnt have tarzan speak!! he spoke in the third person yeah, but so did a few other characters- it gives a sort of, childish connotation in japanese, but the tarzan speak thing in the eng localization completely undermines his character and makes him look way dumber than he actually is, making him seem like he has little to no agency in the story

did you know that gonta actually KNEW that ouma's plan was to get everyone to have a motive video viewing party? and that he was only mad at ouma for lying and saying that he liked bugs, and he was In On It wrt the motive video viewing party?

yeah you literally cant know this unless you go do gonta's free time event when they're in gonta's lab scheming together. why was this CRUCIAL bit of information for character motivations sequestered like this. why did they do that. why. there is so much goddamn discourse over wether or not ouma manipulated gonta and if this scene was like, a little easier to get to, i wouldnt have to get it beamed into my eyeballs so much that i put a fucking manifesto as my blog title and bio

it looks crazy but ive been driven crazy. ive been here since 2016, since before this blog existed. i predate v3. help me

anyway thats JUST the localization issues and that one scene being hard to access. but i'll get on with the rest of it

and i just want to say: in a vaccum, v3 is quite good! it's not a godawful game, the characters are entertaining, it definitely has a good skeleton

but like, to see exactly why i think this game is not up to par- play v3 and sdr2 in tandem. spend one night on v3, one night on sdr2, the next on v3, or switch every few hours, however it appeals to you. but play them side-by-side

You Will Notice. Some Things.

FOR ONE: the days in sdr2 are just... longer. there's more stuff in them, more story. there's a lot that's missing from v3 and as such it feels empty

no one mourns the dead. shuichi mourns kaede but that's it for the whole game, until chapter 6 where he says that it's been horrible watching his friends die every week

in sdr2, here's how it worked in a story structure sense: the investigation itself was for mourning the victim, the trial was the Fun Part where nobody is mourned, really, and the focus is on finding the blackened, and the post-trial epilogue and is when we mourned the blackened

in v3.... the victims..... aren't mourned.

at all.

the blackends are, at the end of the trials, but only at the end of the trials.

in sdr2, hiyoko makes a memorial for mahiru using her photos. soda and nakomaru tie komaeda up because he manipulated teruteru into killing. byakuya was like, the main character of chapter 1 and had a prominent role before he was killed, meaning we saw a lot of him and ergo got close to him and mourned him. hajime was disturbed seeing his body. fuyuhiko talks about peko and how much he misses her. hajime mourns, he talks about the dead....

all of that is missing in v3

they're dead, and then they're gone.

rantaro as the first dead was a character with a lot of potential (WE WILL GET TO RANTARO.) but he didn't really have a prominent role at all. he was just another face in the crowd, until he wasn't. the only reason you'd mourn his death is if he was your favorite- byakuya in sdr2 was not my favorite (fuyuhiko my beloved and komaeda my beloved) but i still felt something when he died simply because of how prominent he was!

kaede as the protagonist, yeah her death had weight

we didnt get to know ryoma at all, or kirumi. or tenko or angie. et cetera

SPEAKING OF THE CHARACTERS.

so, broadly, there are two categories a character can fall in: active and reactive characters

active characters act on their own, without outside stimuli. reactive characters will just do nothing but go about their daily lives until something spurs them into action

all of sdr2's characters are on some level active.

most of v3's characters are reactive. you do not want this in a mystery game.

in sdr2, everyone was talking about escaping, all the time. in v3 they all give up after the first chapter

in sdr2, everyone tried to stay united no matter what happened because they all understood that this was an extreme circumstance, and that the real enemy was monokuma. fucking- fuyuhiko committed a proxy murder, basically, and he was still welcome in the group! because they understood that he was under extreme emotion and that not only his talent played a part in his reaction, but they were all trapped and cornered and being psychologically tormented and that thats why he did what he did! like, there was tension at first.... and fuyuhiko attempted seppuku.... but he was accepted and at least hajime did try, even if hiyoko was still angry at him

in v3 monokuma just straight up joins in the fifth trial and the characters just Let Him? he's supposed to be their enemy!

in sdr2, every character had a purpose. some of those purposes were pretty weak, yeah, but they were like... there. teruteru as the Funny Pervert got old fast, and that's probably why he died really early on, and they did manage to give him like, actual pathos. akane as the Funny Comic Relief Food One got oldddd but she's kind of the weakest out of the characters that survive. soda also, but at least he did stuff like make the transmitter in chapter 3 or fix the elevator in chapter 4, so he wasn't just the Funny Simp One, he did stuff

like, let me ask this: from a story perspective, i.e. their impact on how the plot moved forward, disregarding trials because everyone speaks in those....

what did himiko do. or tenko. tenko straight up didnt do ANYTHING for the greater plot. what did kirumi do? or ryoma? did we really feel the betrayal of tsumugi being the mastermind? we didn't know her!! what did angie do outside of chapter 3, and even then, the student council thing is over before it starts (because v3 days have less ssssssssstuff in them) korekiyo is just There until he reveals that he's fucking his sister and then dies.

none of these motherfuckers are active characters. no one is trying to escape, everyone is playing along. shuichi isn't even very active and he's our PROTAGONIST! he just kind of.... takes it

and that wouldve been interesting, to see someone who just takes it up the ass slowly blossom into being more confident, not letting monokuma railroad him in trials PERCHANCE. and i know shuichi did do that, he got more confident, but he still doesn't even TRY to escape, he's never suspicious of the flashback lights, always assumes ouma's malice is the real thing and everything else is the lie (when really, it was the other way goddamn round)

and like. he's the ULTIMATE DETECTIVE! HE SHOULD BE DOING THIS SHIT!!

the only truly active characters, that actually act on their own and Do Stuff that impacts the plot outside of dying and killing someone...

are kokichi and rantaro.

and rantaro dies in chapter one.

this is, in clinical terms, not good.

chapters 4 and 5 are REALLY good, because ouma does shit and actually impacts the plot and it makes the other characters also be active for once

but the whole rest of the game is like, ouma is doing everything to try and figure everything out, and everyone else is just kind of going thru the motions and treating him with komaeda level ostricization when, at that point in the game, he'd done nothing to warrant it

and at the end of chapter 4, when gonta says that he doesn't want anyone to be mad at kokichi and wants everyone to get along, the whole cast writes him off as a naive idiot and completely disregards his final wishes, which makes sense narratively, but not even shuichi, the ultimate. detective. stops and thinks that maybe something is a bit wrong here

rantaro is just a whole ball of wasted potential sorry. he was the second most interesting character in the game, puzzling things out on his own and doing his best to survive. he was cool and mysterious and smart and he's the first to die and i dont CARE if monokuma ~lampshaded~ it later and was mad at tsumugi for killing him so early, it just means that they KNEW it was a shit idea and then did it anyway!

like. i really like rantaro's secrets being unveiled posthumously. but he shouldve at least died in chapter two, so we got some more time with him. or at least was extremely prominent in chapter one, like byakuya was. but neither happened and what we ended up with was the one active character trying to escape getting fucking shot putted before he has the chance to do literally anything

and maybe it wouldve worked if everyone wasnt so egregiously reactive? the trick with kaede was cool but the game was so focused on that that they forgot to mourn rantaro or like give the audience enough time with him to care when he died. and maybe the "died first, important later" thing COULD have worked if he wasnt one of two active characters!!!!

(most of them are active in chapter 5 ill give them that. but like.... just 5)

and after all this.... the ending. the idea of the ending is kind of good. but the same people that made the ending made the rest of the fucking game and that does not bode well

the ending is.... how do i put this..... imagine a 26 year old that still proudly identifies as an "antishipper." imagine the extremely myopic view this person would have on the relationship between fiction and reality

now imagine this person was in charge of writing a game.

that's what the ending is like.

in the game, the narrative is that "danganronpa" was a video game that got so popular that it turned into an irl reality show, which is the exact kind of myopic "WELL, YOU LIKE THE BAD THING IN FICTION, SO YOU'D CHEER FOR IT IRL, RIGHT? RIGHT??? ITS TOTALLY THE SAME THING!!!" view your bog standard antishipper would have. it's just not very good, imo

in sdr2, they pulled off the "its all fake~!" thing a LOT better, the two endings are strikingly similar and yeah just play them in tandem and you might see what im talking about, because i loved v3 (still do!) but when i played it and sdr2 in tandem i realized ah..... sdr2 is way better in quality....

i like the ambiguous ending in v3, it ties to the "truth and lies" thing nicely, but its like.... again, the same people that wrote that wrote the rest of the game

and there are some hints that it's televised in some way (the characters refer to the blood as "red," monokuma refers to it as "pink," i.e. the pink blood is a tv censor and the characters are seeing the true red) but not really anything else

and it feels less like a "keeping things ambiguous" thing and more like a "they forgot to put details in their game" thing

which i wouldnt think if it were not for the fact that sdr2 is extremely detailed (they remember mealtimes and remember to write in hajime's narration that everyone is eating, which pays off WELL in chapter 4 with the funhouse) and v3 forgot that their characters have to do stuff

also the Things in the v3 chapters just dont have as much weight to them like in sdr2? everyone was talking abt twilight syndrome murder case, the despair disease split everyone up (and soda got to use his talent by making that transmitter) (THATS ANOTHER THING no one in v3 uses their talents for the most part or acknowledges others' talents), the funhouse was a multi-day ordeal, and everyone was involved in chapter 5's Stopping The Rival and the leadup to the now-standard Chapter Five Extremely Cruel And Unusual Rival Death

the magic show in v3's second chapter was kind of being prepped in the background and shuichi had nothing to do with it, and its only purpose was a distraction. the motive videos were kind of there and only useful for the insect meet and greet and then the trial itself. the student council in chapter 3 wasn't around for long and didn't do anything, we only spent a day in chapter 4's virtural world as opposed to the three in sdr2, chapter 5 was good tho chapter 5 can stay. kaito being missing and shuichi being despondent over the secret of the outside world was good and had weight bc we spent a good chunk of chapter 4 hanging out w kaito and seeing him be cute and stuff. we were invested and now he's gone!

and also smaller details like blackends in sdr2 being suspicious before/during the trials, there were actual clues that something was wrong (teruteru lying about the meat skewers, peko being wet, mikan being hot when laying on hajime (i.e. feverish,) we SAW gundham in the room with the alarm clock; there were enough clues to put it together before it was revealed in the trial

i love v3 and i'm so upset about it because i love v3 and i love danganronpa- i sunk a lot of time into this game and the ending seemed spiteful that i even like the game. it was seemingly a critique on fan culture but written by someone with the most condescending, myopic lens on what fan culture actually is

v3's commentary on fan culture was written by the same person who wrote hifumi yamada as the ultimate fanfic writer and it shows

anyway u h . i am very sorry for leaving a fucking THESIS on your innocent question about my tags. but that's why i think that

I have come to realize that, to me, one of the worst crimes a piece of fiction can commit is being mean-spirited. Just about anything else can be good in certain circumstances. But a mean-spirited work diminishes anyone who encounters it.

[transxfag]

2-5, 15, 16?

thank u for the ask!! <33

2. What is your most extreme kink, and why do you like it?

hmm idk!! i dont think i really have many "extreme" kinks - i feel like im only just dipping my toes into the world of kink, and a lot of the stuff im into rn feels very surface level / tame :-p so maybe i would say exhibitionism / public sex (since thats the only kink of mine currently where legality can be an issue lol)

3. What kink are you the most embarrassed by, and why?

ugh im so embarrassed to be as into creampies as i am!!! mostly bc it feels so expected + bc its logistically the Highest Risk one for me to have (considering i do still have to worry about pregnancy at least until i get a hysto :-/)

4. What kinks have you tried with other people? Did you both enjoy it?

i honestly havent tried out very many - bf & i have talked about exploring a few but we're long-distance so its a bit harder to find the time to add New stuff to our sex life

5. Have you got any kinks you haven't tried yet but really want to? If so, what are they?

i want to have sex outdoors so bad for some reason 😭😭😭 i truly feel like exhibitionism + outdoor/public sex is one of my most Core kinks b/c its one that i figured out i was into rlly early on

also, spanking / light impact play & wax play are both things ive been thinking about a lot lately !! i need to do a lot of research into them still though

15. Would you ever make porn of yourself? Why or why not?

i guess i technically have if u count nudes/videos to my boyfriend 😳 and i loveee to take pics/videos, i would probably make/post those kinds of things for real if i knew there was a way to be fully anonymous (+ if i could ensure transphobes wouldnt get a hold of my stuff)

16. What type of porn do you usually prefer (pics, videos, audio, etc), and why do you prefer it?

i used to really prefer reading erotica / smut & browsing thru gifs, but as of the past couple of years, ive switched to mostly watching videos on twitter / pornhub. but i still love a smutty story or scrolling thru a gallery or porn gifs every now and then!!

[hopefully-hellbound]

plssssss do a sequel where demon reader gets revenge on Bailey 😭

i made the reader fallen angel instead of a demon because it made more sense, but yay my first request!

part 1 this refers to is here

M!Bailey x ng!FallenAngel!PC (gn pronouns but has a penis)

After the events of part one, reader wants their angel transformation back. Only one way to do that, and that's expensive.

noncon, corruption, bondage, degradation, drug mention, daddy issues, parental figure but not incest, switch pc, angst Bailey, mentions of prostitution

Bailey made a mistake when he ate those chocolates.

They laid around his office for a while, and one night he just fell weak to temptations, having just a few while he worked late night on paperwork.

He woke up nude and tied up.

He needed a few minutes to realize that this isnt college anymore and he’s now in some actual shit, snapping himself awake as he immediately tried to get his restraints loose. They wouldnt budge though, a thick leather whip holding his wrists securely above his head. Bailey knew that whip.

“What the-“

“Remy let me borrow it.”

A blank voice replies to him, and Bailey’s eyes snap to the source of the sound. There you are, sitting by the window, sunlight reflecting in your dull eyes. You didn’t smile much since the incident before Valentine’s. Bailey kept telling himself that he liked you now better, quiet and avoiding him. That light of yours snuffed out.

Only that it wasn’t, and you were just plotting, how to get back at the man who took your halo, who was the reason your wings now fell dark and torn, every day a feeling of dread overcoming your poor little body. Not for long though.

“The fuck you think you’re doing, brat.” Bailey snarls at you, and you finally look away from the orphans playing outside, at your caretaker.

“You know, Remy really wanted to get in on the action,” you say, getting up to move closer to the bed he’s tied up on. “Wanted to whip you and make you cry like a little girl, he said.”

“Good fucking luck with that.”

“I said no, I wanted this to be just you and me.”

“What are you talking about?? Let me go now or you’ll fucking regret it.”

“Like how you regretted raping me?”

Silence falls between the two of you, you just stare at each other. Bailey’s the one who breaks eye contact first, almost uncomfortable.

“I do what I want with my merchandise and I didn’t regret a thing. Do you understand in what shit you are the second i get out you little-“

“I don’t think you understand what this is, Bailey.”

You cut him off and straddle him, and he’s so surprised for a second he actually doesn’t move, your thighs squishy above his toned stomach. He’s not a bad looking man, you guess, you just wish the circumstances were different. You just wish he was different.

“Yeah? And what is this, then?”

You grind down hard on his crotch, your little hands moving to generously grope his chest as if he were a woman, and yet there is still no more life in your eyes than it was before.

“An extortion.”

Bailey bites so hard down on his lip that it bleeds, but he’s determined not to let out any sounds. He grits his teeth and glares at the camera you hold in his face, and while you think he’s beautiful like this, so feral, you move the view down, where your dick’s nestled nicely deep in his ass.

“We’ve been at this for a while, Bailey. Still refusing?”

“I-If you think I will pay you 10k, you’re fucking wrong.”

His voice shivers a little, and you find it so cute, you want to kiss him but he would probably bite your tongue off at this stage. You pull out almost all the way, only to thrust back inside violently, Bailey inhaling sharply through his nose, but managing to keep it inside.

“Oh. Isn’t it a fair deal, though? Paying for what you took?”

Jordan can restore you, make you pure again – but he needs to be paid for it, and your time before falling too far to be saved is running out.

“I took whats mine you filthy- ah~!”

The look of absolute shame and horror on his face when he moans is picture worthy; good thing you got it on tape. It’s the first time since this has started that your expression changes and you smile, rolling your hips to see if you really found that good spot in him.

“What was that, sir, hm? Was that you moaning on your kid’s cock?”

“... you're not my-“

You silence him with another thrust right into his prostate, and his deeply red face makes it all worth it.

“Not your kid? But dad, you raised me. I don’t have anyone that isn’t you that would take care of me.”

He wants to resist, you know he does, but he now risks moaning again if he opens his mouth, so he just glares at you with such absolute hatred in his eyes. You set the camera down so it’s looking at the two of you, and you lean over, hands next to his head supporting your weight so that you can look down on him.

“You gotta pay back what you stole, dad. Or everyone will know you were overpowered by a child. Maybe you are getting weak in your old age.”

Every time you say that word it’s like you drive the knife of shame deeper in his chest, much like how you thrust your cock inside of him now almost violently. Your hands look bizarre, ridiculously small on his strong thighs but you force them open anyway; Bailey spread like a whore, taking you. His own cock stands thick and erect itself, and you think you would prefer riding that over what you’re doing right now, but maybe some other time. After all, your ass doesn’t matter to Jordan.

“Pretty... you’re so pretty, dad, moaning like a bitch for me.”

Shame and rage are engraved in ever pore of his body right now, and you’re reveling in them.

“Come on, do it louder. Let everyone hear how you failed.”

Your tiny hands wrap around his neck and you squeeze, you strangle him while the pace of your thrusts grows increasingly faster, you’re nearing your finish, almost there-

Bailey’s almost passed out when you finish, your seed dripping out of his hole the second you pull out. He pants out something about revenge but you pay him no mind, you just lean closer and kiss his cheek, same sweet kiss you would give him as a child if he would let his guard down and you’d manage to come that close to his face before he’d yell at you.

“I should leave you.” you whisper, tracing your fingers tenderly up his throbbing, still erect dick. He still hasn’t finished. “Leave you here and let everyone who wants to take a turn with you. All the people you’ve screwed in this town, bet they’d pay good money for it.” he’s still catching his breath, but his teary eyes turn to you, full of disbelief.

Maybe he didn’t think you had it in you. Maybe this was the last thing he’d ever expect from you, and maybe the reality of what happened has really just set in right now.

You smile.

“But i won’t, dad, because that’s not what good people do. And even if you are a jealous little cunt, you’re not gonna ruin this for me.”

Because you’re still a good person.

You’ll get your halo back and you’ll fix what he’s done and you’ll be good again, you’ll be what he always hated you for being.

You look back, at your caretaker’s twitching cock, precum dripping down it as Bailey struggles again.

“Will you give me the money or will I have to earn it by selling you? I know either of us wouldn’t want that~”

With a strained voice, Bailey tells you where his safe is, and you reward him with another kiss, on his neck this time.

“That’s a good boy~”, you purr, excited now that you will finally get to start over again. But you glance at his dick again and your hole throbs, clenches around nothing, and before either of you knows it, you’re straddling him again. “Here’s your reward.... dad~”

You sink down on his cock, and Bailey is too tired to even protest.

But just you wait when he gets free again, just you wait.

Bailey tells himself that he hates you even more now for what you’ve done to him, but you both know that he can lie all he wants, it’s not gonna change the fact that for the first time ever, he feels a speck of respect for you.

[tragicyounglover]

Okay so i saw your blog and i was like, you are a life saver! I feel like a burden when talking to others about it. Its mainly because alot of people I know say that he's a little loopy and he can be alot. But I dont like believing what people say until ive seen it for myself. Whats funny is that at first i never really noticed him(i question how because hes really tall and in my class). I knew he was in my class but i never really thought much of him, i knew he was attractive but thats about it. It really all started when in said class i would feel like i was being watched. You know how you feel eyes on you and it feels weird and creepy. YEaH. Anyway, it started with that and i thought i was going crazy when i would catch him just, what looked like, staring muderously at me! I cant see very well and i wouldnt have my contacts till next year(2022) so it started to get creepy really fast. After that i would notice weird things he would do. Like if i started walking towards the classroom door to leave, it was like he just so happened to get up and leave right behind me. Or like, do something like (🙇🏻‍♂️) when staring at me. There was a time where i could blantantly see some of his excitement when i presented with my group for a presentation. He sometimes would even clap for me if I got an answer right, and i would be so confused as to why, and feel like he was making fun of me and insulting my intelligence! Now i know all of this sounds like he likes me. But, im skeptical because of what people say about him, not that hes player, but that he is rude, can be stuck up, and he's basically the stuck up rich kid trope irl. That, and my friends think he has a mental issue despite how ridiculously intellegent he is. I told myself for now to just ignore him and go about my senior year of HS. But, i cant help but like him a little, hes seems sweet despite what people say.

Idk what to do, sorry if this was really long, but i just needed to get that out.

ENTRY #5

Oh my god hi! I’m so sorry I’m replying to this so late and tbh I don’t know if this is still relevant in your life anymore. That said I’m gonna be honest my high school crush (let’s just call him G.) after we got in our first fight and stopped being friends we started feuding with each other. In fact at one point we got into it while in class. We started raising our voices and our TA had to tell us to cut it out in front of the entire class! (Who by the way was/is close to the both of us.). That was very surprising for me considering how bad my anxiety gets in school environments in general. So it was and still is completely uncharacteristic of me to make a public display of any sorts. Especially in that specific setting because of the lot of football players and other people I deemed were “cool” at the time were also in this class. so I was always over analyzing every thing I did in class. Why is this relevant? Because I know what it feels like to question whether or not they hate you or like you. In fact because of these little tiffs my friends opinions soured on him even more. (understandingly so) so I couldn’t talk to them about how I was feeling. it made me so upset that I still liked him even though he was toxic to me at that point. But i was mostly just confused. About how to feel about him. How I should be feeling vs what I actually was feeling. How I saw him vs how others saw him. I felt weak because most people would have been strong enough to walk away. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t talk to my friends about it. Embarrassment.

That being said I always try to listen to my gut instead of my anxiety. what does this mean? For example say your gut feeling is saying he’s a good guy despite everyone else saying he’s not that part would be the anxiety. It would also work if you switched the two scenarios. My advice to you is try to sort out what you’re feeling, by trusting yourself and your ability to analyzing people. Make sure that even if you trust your feelings don’t abandon your knowledge/commonsense. Trust your feelings. Be smart.

As for he’s the mental health “issue“ , just because he may or may not have a mental health problem doesn’t make him a bad guy or weird so I don’t really see why it should matter if he does. But I can totaly understand being hesitint or uncomfortable with the idea. Especially given the common misconceptions surrounding mental health in society. But!... if this is the case it’s probably in everyone’s best interest to let this fizzle out.

But as for the staring and other flirtatious actions I’m gonna make a bet and say just based off those actions alone that he likes you. Body language says a lot because most of the time. (Especially males.) we’re usaully unaware of our actual body language towards someone else because it’s just an unconscious reaction of being near the other person. Which is probably why most of us tend to do stupid and embarrassing things in the presence of someone who we have a crush on or people we’re trying to impress.

Anyways!... I hope my mindless rambleing made sense to you and hopefully somewhat helped you. Even in the smallest way love! And if it didn’t I apologize for wasting the past 2 minutes of your life. Lol. Anyways hang in there we’re all rooting for you love! Please don’t hesatate to keep me updated.❤️🥰

Please send in more asks I’m always here if you need to talk!

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Thirteen ~ Philippians 1:29

masterlist

"C'mon baby lets go back to our room," Lori said to Jacey, Carl already holding her hand. Jacey nodded following a part of her family down the halls. 

"What's happening, mom?" Carl asked as he watched Lori go to the air vent feeling no air come out, "Mom? Something wrong?" 

Jacey watched her apprehensive mother, "Uh, nothing. It's just... just the air conditioning stopped." 

Lights went out soon after that too which agitated Lori more as did the disappearance of her husband. Sitting at the foot of her parents' bed, she watched as she left the room to talk to Doctor Jenner as he passed quickly. "What's wrong, Jacey?" She heard Addie call to her. 

"Please leave me alone," her hands found their ways to her ears once again seeking to block out any noise. 

"Jacey? You're scaring me... what's wrong?" Addie called to her again, causing her to look up only to see her younger brother worried, "What's wrong, Jacey?" 

"Uh... nothing, squirt. I'm fine," She stuttered, paralyzed by her shock, "Where's mom?" 

"Went after that Doctor. Sent me back to get you," Carl smiled, still perturbed, "You coming?" 

"Yep, Let's go, squirt."

The two younger Grimes' entered the hysterical room, passing their frightful mother on the way out, "Mom what's happening?" Lori didn't respond though, as she continued to run down the corridor and back to the room. Jacey caught wind of Jenner's words about how the French were the last ones to hold out. Well, that was until the fuel ran out. It sunk in deep with the child, there was no cure and there never will be - everything is gone.

Jacey, grabbing the hand of her brother, ran into the room eyeing the now sealed doors. "No. Did you just lock us in?" Glenn panicked, "He just locked us in!" Carl held her hand tighter, the loud noises and consternation becoming at once too much for him. Jacey saw Edwin take a seat at his desk and begin to talk to a camera. 

Bold lettering violated her eyes as the screen switched to black with the red-lettered words of '30 minutes to decontamination'. "Carl! Jacey!" she heard her mom bellow, quickly finding them. Dropping her bags, she wrapped her arms around the two children, kissing both of their heads. 

Daryl endeavoured over to the man in a fit of rage, yelling at him something Jacey couldn't quite catch but was quickly stopped by Shane. She watched as her father pleaded with the stubborn man to open the door, to which he refused. "What happens in 28 minutes?" Rick yelled to the man after he had ignored him the first time. 

"Come on!" Daryl encouraged threatening him with a glass bottle. 

"You know what this place is?!" He snapped, "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner stops to breathe slowly, "In the event of a catastrophic power failure - in a terrorist attack, for example - H.I.T are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." 

"H.I.T's?" Rick asked. 

"VI, define," he ordered. 

"H.I.T's - high impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist," VI continued but Jacey just blocked it out. They were going to die. They were all going to die. Rick walks over to his family joining in on their hug, mortified by the news. Jacey, however, felt okay, fine really. It didn't bother her that she was about to die - her death never seemed to scare her. What did bother her though was that her family would die too. Carl was too young to die she thought to herself. 

"It sets the air on fire. No pain," Jenner told them after VI had finished, "an end to sorrow, grief... regret. Everything." Jacey smiled through her tears, she was almost looking forward to it as dark as that sounded but she just wanted some peace, a rest. She watched as many grew angry - and in Daryl's case - violent with the doctor. 

Shane and T-dog stayed by the door throwing any and everything they had at it, but none of it making a dent. "You should've left well enough alone... it would have been so much easier," Jenner lent back in his chair, unbothered by the chaos he had created. 

"Easier for who?" Lori spat, clearly angry with the man's decision yet still a great amount of sadness in her words, knowing her children were about to die when they're lives really had just begun. 

"All of you. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and agonizing death," Jacey understood this and observed as he looked to her, "The people you lost, what was their names?" 

"Mitch and Addie," she replied not entirely sure on how he knew, while Rick looked to the man threateningly not wanting her daughter to have any part in his manipulation. 

"And you? Your sister?" he asked now to Andrea, the following was a quiet 'Amy'. "Addie, Mitch and Amy," He looked between Andrea and the girl, "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that what you really want for your wife, daughter and son?" 

Now looking at Rick. "I don't want this," He almost cried emphatically. 

"Can't make a dent," Shane shouted to Rick, alarmed. 

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner said almost comedically. 

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl screamed, making his way over to the doctor, axe ready. Dale, Rick and Shane come together once more to hold Daryl and his clear anger issues back, "Daryl! Daryl!" 

T-dog soon wrestled the weapon off of him as Jenner continued to Rick, "You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead." Lori's face drops at his words, while Jacey detaches herself from her mother and brother, planting herself on one of the many identical tables. 

"What? You really said that? After all your big talk?" Shane expectorated, almost betrayed at the doctor's words. 

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" He justified to Lori. 

"There is no hope. There never was." 

"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here but somebody somewhere-" 

"What part of 'everything is gone' do you not understand?" the younger girl interrupted her father, earning an approving nod from Andrea but a pained look from her family. 

"Listen to your daughter," Jenner advised, "She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event." 

"This isn't right. You can't keep us here," Carol cried, "my daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." 

"Wouldnt it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run out?" Carol still cries as she holds her daughter, but Jacqui nods her head slightly. 

Much like what happened with Daryl, Shane came to the doctor pointing a shotgun right at his face, but this time Rick intervened, "Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way! Open that door, or I'm going to blow your head off. Do you hear me?" Jenner remained emotionless as the officer continued to aim for his head. 

"Brother, brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here, " Rick reminded him. Instead, in a fit of anger, Shane begins to shoot at the computer screens randomly, everyone cowering away from the shots. "We all die, Shane!" he reminded before struggling to get the gun away from him, "Are you done now? Are you done?" 

"Yeah, I guess we all are," Shane disputed. 

"I think you're lying," Rick said to Edwin, "You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path, why?" 

"It doesn't matter," Jenner sheepishly said. 

"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?" 

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise," he proceeded to point towards the screen, "To her. My wife." 

"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Lori questioned sympathetically.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?" Jenner paused, looking to Daryl, who continued to use his axe against the door no matter how useless it was, "She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was Einstein. Me? I'm just... Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me." Jacey sighed, feeling the pain of his loss substantially. 

Rick pleaded once more, "Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's... that's all we want a choice... a chance." 

"You let us keep trying as long as we can," Lori added. 

Jenner moves over to the desk picking up what looked like a security pad and said, "I told topside's locked down. I can't open those." 

Seconds later, the doors open and everyone begins to rush out of them, "There's your chance. Take it" 

"I'm grateful," Rick smiled, lifting his hand for him to shake. 

"The day will come when you won't be," Jenner said before shaking Rick's hand and whispering something in his ear. 

"You can't go, you know that, right?" Addie says, her voice kinder now, which Jacey was more grateful for. 

"I know. I want to be with you again," Jacey looked to the girl reluctantly, hoping that the walker won't appear again. 

Addie's face - her normal one - came into view, blooming a big smile on the younger girls face, "And you will, love. I'm never going to leave you again, I promise." 

"I love you, Addie." 

"I lov-" Addie's voice was interrupted by a male one "Jacey, c'mon, angel, grab your things. Let's go." 

Jacey shook her head at the man she realised to be her father, "I-I'm not coming." Rick stopped, hoping his ears were deceiving him but then looked at her tear-covered face and realised. 

"No, you're not, baby. Let's go," Lori shouted from behind Rick. 

"Lori just go. Get the others out of here," he ordered his wife, "We're right behind you." The rest of the group stampeded out of the room, Lori and Carl lingering for a short minute, hoping Rick will be able to convince her to join them. 

"Tell him you're sorry, Jace," Addie whispered, holding her hand. 

"I'm sorry but I-I can't." 

"Yes you can, Jacey, please. You're not thinking straight," Rick prayed that she'd see reason and join them, but his heart stopped when she shook her head. 

"I can't anymore, dad. I'm so tired." Jacey looked around the room, seeing that not only Jenner was still here but so was Jacqui and Andrea. 

An arm snaked over her shoulder, squeezing it gently, an arm, belonging to Mitchell, "Tell him to leave, babydoll, and then you'll be with us forever."

 She smiled at his words and then returned her eyes to her father's blue ones, "You have to leave. I want to stay with them." 

"I'm not leaving you here, angel," He cried, tightly holding the sides of her face. 

"Addie was only 16, dad, Mitch was 25. We had children in our camp. I-I should've died with them. I don't deserve to live when they had to die." 

"Listen to me, Jace, you survived for a reason, okay? You don't have to agree with me, but whoever is up there, whatever is in charge made it so you weren't there. So you wouldn't die. They wouldn't want you to die here and now. Your story is not over yet. I won't allow it," Rick wailed, heavier than earlier as he watched his daughter looked to her left and right as if looking at people that weren't there, "Your death isn't going to bring them back." 

"I can't leave them, daddy," She paused, "I already hurt them enough." 

"Who are you talking about, angel?" his voice breaking slightly. 

"Addie and Mitchell," Jacey told him as if it was obvious, "I can't leave them alone again." 

"Addie and Mitchell are dead, baby. They're not here anymore," the man pleaded with his deluded daughter. 

"No," she argued, squeezing her eyes shut, "shut up. You're lying, they're here with me now, they want me to stay. She promised me she wouldn't leave again," Jacey cried, looking at Addie and Mitchell, slowly seeing them morph into their walker forms, "Oh god. No, not again, please, not again. They're going to hurt me, daddy. They're going to hurt me like I hurt them." 

"Hey baby, look at me, only me, okay?" he stopped her from looking to where he assumed she saw them, "No one's gonna hurt you. Addie and Mitchell are gone. They can't hurt you, alright? Now we've got to go, angel, before it's too late." Jacey wanted to nod, to go with him, but the grip that Addie and Mitchell had on her tightened, making her let out a small cry. 

At once, they both turned into their undead self's clawing at her skin instead of holding it, "You can't leave, Jacey. Not when you did this to us." 

"No! Shut up! Leave me alone! I want to live! I don't want to die!" Rick watched the girl breakdown her hands beginning to claw away at any visible skin. The man grabbed her hands, stopping the movement before looking over to the timer seeing it hit the 5-minute mark. 

"I'm sorry, Jacey. I'm so sorry baby," Jacey heard him cry before feeling him move away from her. 

"Jacey, look at me, sweetheart," A kind, shaky voice begged of her. Jacey turned to meet their eyes, seeing a crying Jacqui, "You gotta go, darling, please."

"I can't, Jacqui. I can't keep going on like this," She paused, "I'm not strong enough."

"Yes you are, child. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, don't ever trick yourself into thinking you're not," Jacqui apprised the younger girl.

"I'm not as strong as you think, Jacqui. Nowhere even close."

"That's where your wrong, sweetheart. You've got a lot of heart and if do say so myself a lot of balls," She smiled at her, "You're gonna survive this world, I'm sure of it." Jacqui stops speaking as she looked at the girl, aware of the mental state, "Look, sweetie, I'm not gonna force you outta that door, as much as I'd like too. I don't want you to die today, Jacey, but it seems like it's going that way so let me tell you something, okay?" Jacey nodded, "And you gotta promise me the moment you understand it you'll leave, you'll survive," she nodded once more, "Philippians 1:29; For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him but also to suffer for his sake." Jacey stayed silent not quite comprehending the meaning of the passage. 

"I don't understand, I don't get it, Jacqui," She cried into her palms.

"That's okay, sweetie, just breathe..." Jacqui refrained, "It means your pain has a purpose, whatever that purpose may be." 

"Do you understand now?" 

Jacey shook her head sadly, "That's okay, take your rest. I will see you once more in another life." Jacey watched as the older woman rejoined Jenner at his computer and observed as she wished that their conversation had gone another way and in some way Jenner also did.

"You have to stay Jace. You said you understood that. Everything will be better if you do," Addie warned, "If you go you will kill every single one of them out there. Do you want that? Do you want them dead? Your dad? Your mom? Carl?" Jacey shook her head manically, her mind flashing unforgiving images of their bodies eaten and unmoving, "So stay with me, my love. Stay, and I'll love you forever." 

Jacey nodded at her before muttering, "I'll love you forever too," causing Addie to smile. Jacey began to move closer to the dark-skinned girl, her face returning back to her natural one. 

"I wanna kiss you, Jace," Addie parted her lips inching towards Jace's. 

"Me too," She replied, shyness shrouding her confidence. 

But before their lips could touch, the masculine voice returned, "I'm sorry, Jacey," following a sharp twinge in her neck. Immediately, she felt a rush of dizziness hit her, Addie and Mitchell disappearing shortly afterwards, "no." She fell off her chair and into a pair of muscular arms, "I'm sorry, angel." 

"Addie," she cried before the darkness took over her. 

[felismiscellaneous]

Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

[boycritter]

they did this really fun thing where they did super fucked up shit to scare the people they were trying to conquer. and then gengis khans grandsons kept fighting and everything collapsed

2. ermm..... yugo was just really emotionally unavailable and slavia didnt feel like putting up with it (aka i have no idea)

3. they didn't really industrialize as much as other European powers and were gradually pushed out of the balkan peninsula and into turkey. also they wanted to make everyone turkish and the non turks didnt want that

4. commodore perry the platypus showed up and threatened them with a bunch of guns so they started industrializing their military

5. the qing dynasty were a bunch of losers who didn't know how to govern right and a bunch of other people had to step in and help

6. the song dynasty and aztec empire both utilized a tribute system, but generally eurasian governments were more bureaucratic while pre-colombian american governments were a bit looser. and african governments were usually kinship-based and had local tribes that each had a chief

7. why did you get possessed by my ex boyfriend

8. i ate them...

9. they had a really good military and . guns !!!!

10. i was whispering into napoleans ear

11. with the invention of the water wheel as a way to power machines, and then adding that water wheel to a spinning loom, the british textile industry was revolutionized. the sheer amount of waterways in britain meant you could put them pretty much anywhere

12. native americans would get involved in the war, and did this weird thing where they knew their own land really well and gave one side an advantage

13. if i had to guess id say the switch from sustenance farming to cash crop farming? but idk

14. MONGOLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

15. it was mostly the areas directly around an empire, bc they were easier to get to. it also usually involved military action and brutality

16. since mostly men were taken as slaves, there were more women in many african societies. this led to women having more say in the home, and then also the practice of polygamy

17. they would be able to capture the slave ships and send the people back to africa (totally back to their own home. they didnt make colonies to dump all the post-abolition slaves. they wouldnt do that)

18. the qing dynasty established a very large empire. then one of the rulers died? and a bunch of people took that as their chance to overthrow and establish a republican govt instead of an imperial one

19. really tall dickless guy with a bunch of big boats. literally all i want to be in life

20. the centralized area of power (tenochtitlan (which probably caused more problems that one day in class than in all of mexican history)) and also the fucking human sacrifices probably scared people a bit

21. skill issue

21.a. i think we're getting to the period in time where i kind of completely stopped paying attention in class

22. they were really really really good at making money with little negative effects to the company. and also great at exploiting labor

23. they were a part of china i think? but always rejected a chinese identity. and also the united states tried to get them to un-communize and it was terrible for everyone

24. + 25.

____ ____ /' | | \ / / | | \ \ / / | | | \ \ ( / | """" |\ \ Ahhh HA!!! | / / /^\ /^\ \ _| I love big big carrot!!! ~ | | | | | | ~ | |__O|__|O__| | /~~ \/ ~~\ / ( | ) \ _--_ /, \____/^\___/' \ _--_ /~ ~\ / -____-|_|_|-____-\ /~ ~\ /________|___/~~~~\___/~~~~\ __|________\ --~~~ ^ | | | | - : ~~~~~:~-_ ___-----~~~~~~~~| / `^-^-^' `^-^-^' : ~\ /' ____/--------| -- ; |/~~~------~~~~~~~~~| ; : : |----------/--------| : , ; . |---\\--------------| : - . : : |______________-__| : , , : /'~----___________| __ \\\ ^ ,, ;; ;; ;._-~

GUYS ask me questions about historical developments between 1200 and 2001. im trying to figure out what i dont know for ap world

[eliyah-de-dark]

Two Lies and A Truth part 2

Turns out the Startrain can get a person from London to Paris in what feels like a matter of minutes. Marinette waited on the platform, alone in a crowd of commuters, with her wide brim hat pulled down low over her face. She wore her hair down, a countermeasure against any old friends who might recognize her style, and opted for an equally unfamiliar white and pink sundress. She'd originally made it for her dream date with Adrien. Now it would meet one of the only friends she had left.

The train from London pulled in, and Felix Graham de Vanily was the first off. He wore his signature dark gray three piece suit, a white shirt making his skin seemed more tanned. He scanned the crowd, forcing people to move around him as his vibrant green eyes searched for her.

She wove a path through the crowd and grabbed his hand. "Hey," she said weakly.

He froze, taking in her changed appearance before speaking. "Your hair looks nice." He touched just the tip of her blue hair, admiring the length. "What prompted the change?"

Marinette's smile dropped. "Don't want to be recognized." Her voice was almost imperceptible in the din of the station.

The pair walked out hand in hand, Felix's heart racing where Marinette's barely caught her attention. Together they wove their way through Paris. Their only pause was with Andre Glacier to get ice cream, Andre's idea not theirs. Finally their meandering brought them to the bakery where they first truly met.

Sabine and Tom waved to the kids as they went up into the apartment. Marinette noticed her mother's calculating look while Felix caught her father's questioning gaze. The young man thought their journey would end in the living room, but Marinette kept his hand in her own until they'd climbed up into her pink painted room. The walls were nearly bare, with the crumpled up pictures of Adrien in her waste basket. Felix took good note of that.

In the safety of her room, Marinette started talking. She repeated a lot of what Felix already knew: how her class had been turned, how the teacher punished her when it wasn't her fault, about how she had only 3 people left in the whole city she could trust. When she brought up the arrival of Suzette, he could tell from the stormy expression of her face that this girl did more than bother Marinette.

"What do you care if she's Ladybug?" Felix asked, waving his hand as if to present the situation on a platter. "Sounds like she'll prove herself wrong soon enough."

"But she's put the entire school in danger!" Marinette cried. She slumped onto her chaise and sighed. "If Hawkmoth thinks anyone in François Dupont is his arch nemesis..." She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. Felix had seen the chaos akumas caused, and if it weren't for the Ladybug Cure, everyone in Paris would be dead ten times over.

He nodded, and Marinette sighed with relief. She wanted to tell him the real reason, that she was the one suffering stolen identity here, but she couldn't. She thought of Master Fu's threat. Being Ladybug was stressful, sure, but it was one of the best things in her life right now.

Their phones buzzed simultaneously. Felix had his out first, sparing Marinette the trouble. Nadia Chamack's face filled the screen completely. "Don't be bemused, it's just the news. On this special report, we have Alya Cesaire live in our studio to talk about a remarkable post she's put on her Ladyblog." The camera switched to show the red haired girl Marinette used to call friend. As the audience applauded, the pair in a pink room sat on Marinette's chaise.

"Thanks for having me, Madame Chamack." At least she had her manners. "I'm a big fan of yours."

Nadja laughed and made a little dismissive gesture. "If you're a fan of mine, then you know here at the station we love our Ladybug, and your blog has been a key source of information on her. Let's show the audience what you posted today that's sweeping our city!"

Nadia's large screens showed Alya close up in the frame, breathing heavily. "How unbecoming." Felix scrunched his nose in disgust while Marinette laughed.

The video showed Alya rushing back to her seat where across from her sat...Ladybug? The costume was fairly well made, superior to Chloe's in many ways. There was still the glaring issue of a zipper on the back and her mask slowly dropping on the left side.

The two began talking like old friends, Alya crediting Lila for getting the interview squared away. Felix watched Marinette as her face switched from shock to horror.

Once the Ladybug interview had wrapped up, Nadja began asking questions about the whos, whats, wheres and whens of the impromptu video. "Lila, my best friend," Alya emphasized that title like she knew Marinette was watching, "promised me an interview with LB, and it turns out Ladybug is wonderful in and out of costume!" She pasted a surprised look on her face and murmured, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that." in such a perfect copy of Lila that Marinette searched for a wig line or something.

"In and out of costume? Does that mean - hold on, you know who Ladybug is?" Nadja had real shock on her face, and if the camera had turned then Felix imagined the audience would have that same look too.

Alya smiled sweetly. "I couldn't say."

The interview continued, but Felix set his phone away. Marinette was shaking now, and he put an arm around her. She leaned on his shoulder, her body slowing to matching his heartbeat. He rested his head on top of hers and took a deep breath. She smelled like strawberries, glue, and mint.

Now he jumped up and paced. Her eyes followed back and forth as he moved, pausing every so often to muse on a particular idea.

"I've got it." He smiled, a devious grin that split his face like a demon.

Marinette listened with rapt attention.

-

"Blast Master, I am Hawkmoth. You want to expose the truth about Lila Rossi and save your friend. I'm giving you the power to control explo-"

"That's a no on the name."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Then beg."

"...what is happening?"

"Listen, you're right about why I'm pissed, and I'll gladly take the explosion power, but I'm not calling myself Blast Master."

"I...suppose?"

"Excellent, glad we're on the same page."

-

Suzette Lambert basked in the attention of her schoolmates like a cat basks in the sun. Lila was right, she mused, these idiots are too easy. Only two weeks and she had near god like worship. She almost didn't regret transferring out of her private English school.

The two people who didn't immediately succumb to her will were Chloe Bourgeois and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe made snide comments here and there but hardly went toe to toe with the new queen of the school. It helped that literally anytime she tried, either that nuisance Alya would snap at her or the teacher would gently redirect the class.

Her teal eyes caught sight of the little pariah, who'd snuck in early and taken her spot at the farthest desk in the room. Marinette never spoke. Not even when the teacher called on her. When she'd asked, Lila bemoaned, "Oh Mari? She's just the worst. She's always so mean to me and everyone hates her for it. I wouldnt even bother talking to her."

Suzette couldn't say it was hard to get on Lila's bad side, but that seemed a bit extreme. It all made sense after her little "slip-up" though.

It was the Italian's idea to say she was the heroine. "Trust me, no one will even question it." As much as Suzette hated to admit it, Lila was right. Everyone latched onto the biggest lie of her life and now the royal treatment was just a standard. The only bad reaction she got was Dupain-Cheng running out of the room. That was weird on so many levels, but Suzette ignored it.

Class was going smoothly until the volley of ringtones interrupted the lesson.

"An akuma?"

"It's just down the street!"

"Hold up Alix, let me see!"

Suzette checked her phone, lazily scanning the report of a dancing harlequin-style akuma moving steadily towards François Dupont.

"Go suit up, Suzette!"

She looked at Alya with a tired expression. "What?"

The reporter pointed her cellphone at Suzette. "Don't you need to transform? To defeat the akuma?" Her quizzical look spread like a virus through the class.

"I can't." She needed to think, quick. "The Guardian took my miraculous for safe keeping." She mentally congratulated herself for the excuse.

Nino spoke up next. "Why?"

"Repairs."

"Why would a miraculous need repairs?" And why was Kim of all people chiming in?

"Oh puh-lease." Now came Chloe Bourgeois. She sat on her desk and ignored Madame Bustier's reprimand as she continued. "Obviously she can't because she isn't Ladybug." Sabrina nodded vigorously, the nasty little cockroach.

Alya naturally spoke next, loud enough to give the queen standing next to her a headache. "No one asked you, Chloe." She snapped. "Why dont you keep your opinions to yourself?"

"Why dont you you little gossip rag wannabe?"

Wow, Suzette thought. That's an interesting shade of red in Alya's face.

Chloe turned those sky blue eyes back to her rival. "What form does your miraculous take? Or better yet, what's mine?" She leaned forward, her head tilted as if to listen for an answer.

Suzette crossed her arms. "Why would I care about yours?"

"Because you're the one that gives it to me, Ladybug. And I know for a fact if you were the real Ladybug, you would've kept your mouth closed about your identity."

No one noticed Marinette in the back of the room staring wide eyed at Chloe.

"Who are you to talk to me like that?!" Suzette yelled. Lila grabbed her arm, locking her in place. "You're just the mayor's spoiled brat who only cares about herself!" Chloe smiled at Suzette's words. The audacity.

"Maybe, but at least I'm honest."

Another insult began forming in the mind of the false Ladybug when the door came off its hinges with an explosion.

((@goblinwhoships @ml-cartoons @enchanted-nerd since you three specifically requested being tagged, here you go))

((Yeah so people really seemed to like part one. That's pretty hekking neat. Hopefully part 2 can live up to the hype))

[viktoriakomova]

idk i feel kind of conflicted about the whole issue of national team coaches (chow specifically, bc of recent discussion over him) not wanting to allow marta to be an abusive psycho toward their gymnasts but not standing up to her.... i want to draw a hard line and say “anybody who won’t say no to someone acting that way toward the children theyre responsible for is complicit” but i dont think its that simple in a system like this where the gymnasts appeal to marta’s authority to even be given the opportunity to compete internationally. i think its good that he shielded them from her as much as he could (although i dont think it was defensible that he allowed gowey’s asthma attack near-death experience to happen AT ALL, like if theres a time you should discard any fucks you have to give about what marta thinks it should be then, wtf?!) but the athletes are there because they want to compete at the highest levels of the sport, and whether chow OR the gymnasts like it or not, they have to be in marta’s good graces to do that. i think it just gets a lot blurrier the deeper you look into it, bc it gets into things about “is a medal worth it, for the gymnast herself OR her coach OR even her parents?” i would answer a resounding NO, but clearly these gymnasts who destroy their bodies before they even graduate high school, even at the JO level (not to mention their families who bankroll that participation in such a grueling activity to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars) would say they feel it IS worth it. if they didnt, they wouldnt make it to that level to begin with.

which also gets into another thing that has been discussed a bit in the last few months, about the role parents play and their culpability in abuse gymnasts experience in the sport. im talking just about american (and presumably other anglo/commonwealth sphere countries which mostly seem to operate similarly?) gymnastics, because the way the whole system is structured in countries with centralized training systems and developed ministries of sport, etc. creates a very different environment in terms of motives to continue the sport and family involvement. but american gymnasts’ families, by the system’s design, have to devote a tremendous investment of money and time to a child’s extracurricular activity for them to get to an elite level. so if you quit your job to be a full-time gym parent and literally PAY an abusive coach six figures over the course of maaaybe 10 years (?) to traumatize your kid for her entire childhood, you are absolutely responsible. at a certain point, the sunken costs incentivize turning a blind eye to horrendous treatment, because walking away is so devastating and obviously seems like a total waste. even if you wanted to find a new coach, unless you’re lucky enough to live in a place where there are multiple elite/L10 gyms within a reasonable driving distance, switching gyms means cutting your losses on everything you built in one place and spending another huge sum of money to relocate. 

i think it would be a lot different if a gymnast’s personal coach were acting the way marta did at those national team camps, or if the coach was following marta’s lead because “she wins!”... subjecting a child to that kind of treatment on a daily basis is basically torture lol like thats what we’re looking at, at that point. and if you rationalize it by saying “but my daughter WANTS to make this dream come true and i cant just say no to her!” you are an accomplice in your child’s abuse, regardless of your intentions or motives. but i think its different, in a way, for a personal coach who is great and tries their best to advocate for their gymnasts without pissing off the abusive people who could ruin their careers on a whim, and i think its easy to just call that cowardly behavior and wipe your hands of it. at the VERY least, chow’s gymnasts knew when they were at camps for a few days out of the month that they had someone who was in their corner and was willing to put up some kind of fight to protect them. and i think that emotional security is why his gymnasts so adamantly defend him and say he is totally blameless in the entire situation. because of the difference in treatment they seem to have externalized the camp environment and were/are painfully aware that its not business as usual, and so they recognized her for what she was instead of having a personal coach who incessantly kissed her ass giving them the message that “this is all perfectly okay and normal and healthy and i wont do anything to help you, so buck up kiddo”

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[babbling-idiot]

Milton Dammers x reader

Prompts

Requested: "tbh angst prompt #12 on that prompt list you reblogged a little while ago screams Milton to me, so could you perhaps do that prompt with him? thanks" -By Anon

Warning: Angst, talks of self hate? (Also if this kind of thing is happening to you, dont hold it in that literally the worst thing you could do, talk to someone. I love you🙂)

Prompt 

Angst

#12. "Holding everything in doesn't help, you know."

(Hey anon! So, thanks for requesting, haven'tqrote for my boi in a hot second so it was a nice little transfer over. I hope you enjoy this!)

Milton hated talking about his feelings. Anytime an opportunity cane, he would immediately back out and do something else. You knew this was something he didnt talk about and so, when it came down to your own problems, you didnt go to him. In fact you didnt go to anyone.

This was a huge problem. Talking to no one was probably the worse thing you could do. You admitted, this was a issue. But who would listen? No one would care, they'd just nod and shake there head anytime you said anything so why bother. This was something that always stayed with you and you never once let anyone know about it. This was until milton found out.

Like any normal day, milton woke and went to work. It was completely normal until this person, one of your close friends came up to him. "Can I help you?" He would say with a cautious tone to his voice. "Hi, im one of y/ns friends. Your milton right?" They say with hopeful words he just nods his head for them to continue "Ok good. Listen, I know you dont know me but I've known y/n since elementary school, they are my best friends. Sadly as of lately they've been distant and-" "That sounds like you did something to anger them." He says interrupting "No, no, no! Just listen to me. They're not in the right mental space at the moment. They think that no one cares or gives any shit about them. They ain't listening to me and the only person they talk about is you, so please be a fucking good person and go talk to them. Please!" They say yelling now with anger dripping from there words. He sighs and shakes his head, going straight to his car. How bad could it be?

Apparel Milton thought that everything was gonna be fine, but when he arrived he saw nothing of the sort. There use to be a mirror above a table right when youd walk in and sadly now there it was smashed onto the ground and the pieces were everywhere. He was very cautious now, not sure where you were and he hoped that you hadn't done something stupid. He walked into the living room and it looked like someone ransacked your house for goods. He walked up the stairs next, when he reached your room. He could hear the faint sound of sniffling and the occasional hiccup. You inched the door open and finally laid his eyes on your shivering figure on top of the bed. He walked over to the chair that was behind you. You didnt see him but knew he was there. When he sat down, it felt like time slowed down. Not a single word was spoken. The only thing heard was your harsh breathing. "Holding everything in doesn't help, you know." He says picking at his black gloves. You huff out "If only I had someone to talk to. Someone I could trust, that wouldnt tell everyone about what's going on. It's like you cant trust people anymore!" He shakes his head "Though I know what untrustworthy people look like, there are still some good people out there. And the occasional amazing one. Even, The One." He says pressing his lip in a tight line. You turn over and look at him, still on your side. "Well I wish I could find them, there is none in this town. Only two people milton, just two, that's fucking sad isn't it?" He nods his head but this time he grabs the chair and moves it closer to the side of the bed. "That is sad, but the good thing is that you dont have to worry about all these friends and all these people backstabbing you. You have two people that you trust, hang on to them and I'm sure they will hang on to you as well if you let them in. Tell them what's going on with you. You cant just hold things in. If your afraid of judgement just come to me. I'm not the best person to talk to, but I sure as hell will listen. I'm not the most reasonable but I will try my best." He says making sure that you hear every word. "Your one of those people milton." He blinks and breaths in heavily "Well then if you trust me then, dont hold things in. Tell me about everything. From, one negative though or something that made you angry. I dont care, I wanna know. Okay? " You nod and dab your tears streaked face with the tissue you had in hand "Well you sleep and get some rest and I'll go clean up the mess, alright. " you nod again as hes about to exit your room you stop him "Milton, I just wanna say thank you, I'm very lucky to have you in my life. Your amazing, truly." He smiles slightly before brushing it and waves before exiting the room and goes down stairs. He truly was the most amazing person. He had never been one to talk about his own mental problems but when it came to you, it was like a switch was being turned and then he completely there to help you. No matter what. You weren't the lucky one, he was the lucky one to have you in his life.

(Hey again, I hoped you like this sorry if it wasnt that great and that I didnt have it out yesterday I was slackin' but if you did like this remember that requests are always open. Also remember to have an amazing day and please, please stay safe out there in the world!)

[aidenoes]

Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years

Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out

To make the story easier let's call her Fish.

So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.

And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.

Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.

8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.

9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.

10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.

Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama

She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.

And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.

This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.