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ggukkiedae · 3 years ago

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❝𝕀-𝕃𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝔸𝕣𝕚’𝕤 𝔼𝕪𝕖𝕤 ❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ EPISODE 2 PT.1 (bc this reached 16 1/2 pages aksjdhf and apparently tumblr has a limit too) (most of the stress is in the part 2)

⇢ this tells what goes through Ari’s mind as she competes to finally debut after three years of training

⇢ featuring two of my ocs who never saw the light of day: nabi (got7 originally but i was gonna make her ab6ix instead) and jiwoo (stray kids)

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ this is more of the behind the scenes kind of thing more centered on ari’s feelings instead of the show’s perspective. feedback is highly appreciated 🥰 also, i made everything small text so it doesn’t look as long andbdbf

⇢ italic conversations = english, bold conversations = japanese

⇢ disclaimer: i do not know what really happened behind mnet’s depictions, and i do not know any of the participants on i-land personally, any unusual depictions of them here as well as dramatized situations are simply for story purposes and do not correspond to their real personalities or actions

Going inside scared Ari.

Of course, the first thing that they heard there after all the facilities were introduced was how only 13 of them could stay. That was a lot of pressure, and the actual show hadn’t even started yet at that point. With a deep sigh, she settled her bag next to Sunoo’s and followed everyone else as they checked out the practice rooms and voting room.

The voting room put her off. As soon as she saw it, a feeling of dread began to creep up her chest and into her throat.

Sunoo must have noticed this since he lightly tapped her arm which was looped with his. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah,” she nodded somewhat dazed, “just fine. Let’s go follow the others upstairs.”

Seeing the actual facilities face to face made her eyes widen. There were endless snacks in the pantry and white walls that made the place look endless. Not to mention the bedrooms were absolutely beautiful.

“Do you really think we’ll get to stay here?”

“No,” Sunoo’s voice was laced with sarcasm. “They just put those bedrooms in here for us to stare at throughout the day.”

She rolled her eyes at her friend. “Very funny, Sunoo.”

The whole time they continued looking around, she couldn’t help noticing the exact number of things. Thirteen chairs, thirteen beds, thirteen mugs, thirteen hygiene kits. The number thirteen loomed over her. Only thirteen people could stay in there and possibly get benefits during their actual first test. Her hands got clammy at that thought.

Eventually, everyone gathered by the couch. It was time to talk about the voting. Despite everyone clearly being reluctant, they had to talk about it.

She found herself sitting in between Sunoo and Jay as she silently watched everyone speak. Something seemed off to her, however, with the initial discussions of picking thirteen members according to an ideal group image. Why should one specific image need to be followed when idol groups should be versatile? Looking at their BTS seniors alone, there was a stark difference between Miya’s and RM’s images, yet they still work because they’re versatile.

Besides, how would they pick those who fit the group’s image if they didn’t even know what the final group’s concept would be yet?

With this in mind, she lightly raised her hand. Despite wanting to speak out, she thought being cautious before doing so might help her. But the others continue to mumble to each other without noticing her.

“Ari,” a voice calls. She turns her head and sees Heeseung looking at her inquisitively. “You want to say something?”

With that, all eyes turned to her. She pressed her lips into a tight line. Somehow everyone’s gazes at that point were more nerve wracking than during the entrance performances.

With a small smile towards Heeseung and a nod of her head, she spoke. “Yes, thank you. I just wanted to mention two things. A survival show can both make or break a person. Also we don’t know the final concept yet, so we really don’t know who’s going to fit in. I think we should focus on skills, potential to grow, and versatility.”

She was met with a silence. Of course. Even back in Mixnine her ideas would be shut down by the others or met with a rejecting silence. She wasn’t expecting much from I-land.

But Heeseung spoke.

“I agree. It’s going to be hard, though.”

One look on the elder’s face told Ari that Heeseung was being genuine and not just playing along for her like people did a few years back. A smile made its way to her face.

“For sure. But I just hope we can all be a little more thoughtful about all this.”

It seemed that everyone agreed after Heeseung did so. Her eyes naturally were drawn to him as everyone else discussed their own thoughts. The so-called ace was obviously talented and well-respected by the others, yet he was still humble and considerate. It made her curious. Who really was Lee Heeseung?

Sunoo clapping in front of her face brought her out of her thoughts. “Hey! Everyone’s grabbing food. Wanna go grab some macarons then check out the egg gate again?”

She laughed at him. “Sure.”

Just slightly managing to avoid everyone else, the two 03 liners found themselves standing in the lobby and taking everything in. The thirteen chairs with 17 sets of bags was just another reminder of how she couldn’t relax just yet. Then the name tags caught their attention. There were 26 nametags. She lightly ran her fingers over the one with Jiwoo’s name and sighed.

“Sunoo?” He merely hummed in response as he looked at his own nametag. “I think I’m gonna be voted out because I’m a girl.”

The boy scoffed at her, causing her to look at him offendedly. He raised his eyebrow at her. “That’s stupid. It’s not like the people here aren’t a fan of Miya sunbaenim.”

“You never know.”

“Shut up, Ari.” She let out a light chuckle at how exasperated Sunoo sounded with her. He simply hit her arm in response, which she reciprocated. He looked her in the eye. “You’re not dropping. Let’s debut together, okay?”

The look of genuine belief that they would do so made Ari smile. If there was one thing she was sure of, she wanted to debut with Sunoo. She would make it happen.

“Okay. Promise?”

“Promise.” The two grinned at each other before Sunoo began to pull her back to the upper floor. “Now come on, let me introduce you to Jake hyung and Youngbin hyung.”

And, just like that, she was dragged up to the common area by her friend. Still a little wary of everyone else, she found herself standing off to the side while Sunoo looked for his unitmates and, by the looks of all the chatting, got distracted. She subtly sipped from her bottle of water and took a look at the screen. Before she could get any deliberating in, though, she heard a voice.

“You don’t know who to vote out, huh?”

Her gaze fell upon someone slightly taller than her with a dimpled smile on his face. She remembered him from how well he performed as well as the impressive facial expressions he had earlier on. Yang Jungwon.

“Not a clue,” she shook her head, a humorless chuckle escaping her mouth. “How about you, Jungwon-ssi?”

A shocked look appeared on his face. “You know my name?”

“Of course I do,” she smiled. “You stood out a while ago. And you have dimples like I do! See?”

Pressing her lips into a smile, she reached up and poked at one of her dimples. This made Jungwon laugh and do the same to his own. The two laughed a little more before putting their hands down.

“Well, good luck with deciding,” Jungwon smiled at her. “I hope you know I liked your performance a lot, and I’ve watched you on Mixnine. I know what you can do, so I’m not voting you out.”

“I’m not voting you out, either,” she winked at him. “We dimpled kids have to stick together, don’t we?”

With a chuckle and a nod, Jungwon joined in with the rest of the boys. She was going to turn back to the screen with everyone’s faces when another figure walked up to her.

“Hi, Ari.”

“Oh, hi Seon-ssi.”

The taller and older boy was wearing a pleasant smile as he stood in front of her. “I just wanted to say you did really well today, and Ithink debuting with you would be nice.”

It was a random thought that seemed a little strange to her, but she shrugged it off. To be fair, she did just talk to someone about dimples. “Thank you! I enjoyed your dance a while ago”

“Thank you.” He tilted his head at her, making her look at him questioningly. “We were both in survival shows”

“Oh,” she genuinely didn’t know that. He couldn’t have possibly been in Mixnine, so maybe he was on another Mnet show? Produce 101, probably. That would explain why he looked quite unfamiliar to her. The only people she knew from the Produce series were usually the debut group members. “That’s actually pretty cool.”

He nodded and gave her a somewhat telling look. “Then I'm guessing we understand each other then. Let’s debut this time around, yes?”

That was all he said before leaving. she watched him as he walked off, head tilted in curiosity. It confused her slightly, the way he just said that and walked away. She just shrugged it off and walked towards the props room.

A figure was already standing there. She recognized him as Ni-ki from the Jopping unit. She walked in, being sure to just gradually increase noise as she did to not startle him so much. He bowed at her, a gesture which she returned.

“Oh?” she moved closer to the clothing rack. “There’s only thirteen of these here?”

His eyes widened slightly upon hearing that. “Oh, really?”

“I think so,” she trailed off while walking towards the younger. “Yeah, there’s only thirteen. Come look at— Ah! Ouch, wait, that hurts!”

Her toe had stubbed the table-like object in the middle of the room, which made her reach down to cradle it. She didn’t even notice she slipped into Japanese until the boy in front of her spoke in surprise.

“You speak Japanese?”

She laughed a little. His wide eyes were somewhat comical. “Yeah, I was born and raised in Japan.”

“But…” Ni-ki trailed off, seemingly unsure whether or not he’d offend her with whatever it was he said next, “you’re Korean?”

“Yeah, but I was born in Japan, Ni-ki. Keep up.”

She watched as the boy in front of her straightened in excitement. He reminded her of her little sister whenever she came home with an extra snack.

“Really?” He asked before running out. “Taki!”

She laughed as the boy ran to grab his friend.

No lie, she was quite excited to have Japanese people there with her. She only ever got to speak Japanese with her family, so it would be nice to have friends who were natives once again.

“And she speaks Japanese!”

She chuckles upon hearing Ni-ki as he rushed in with a shorter boy she knew as Taki. The latter looked at her with wide and curious eyes as he examined her face.

“You really don’t look Japanese,” he mumbled in awe.

“Maybe not by blood,” she shook her head, “but by origin. School, life, my dancing in general, all started there.”

“That’s so cool!”

She laughed and walked to stand between the two boys and looped her arms through theirs. “You think so? Well, that’s nice. How about we talk while walking back? I think my friend might be looking for me.”

And she was right. Someone was looking for her. Ni-ki and Taki were left watching in confusion as Sunoo dragged her off to the side while mumbling about how he’s been looking for her for the past ten minutes and how easy it was to seemingly get lost in I-land.

“Hyung!” Sunoo’s sudden increase in volume shocked her slightly. “Meet my friend! This is Ari, Ari, this is Jake hyung. Where’s Youngbin hyung?”

She laughed at how animated Sunoo was speaking as he ran to the pantry to look for Youngbin. Why was it so like him to introduce her to a friend and unknowingly leave them alone? She just sent a smile after Sunoo despit knowing he wouldn’t see her. Something she knew most about him is that he wouldn’t get distracted when he’s got his mind set on it. She turned back to Jake and reached her hand out to him, which he shook.

“You did really good up there,” the Australian smiled at her. “I didn’t really expect you to do a charismatic kind of song because you look like you’d do a cute or a fresh kind of song.”

That made her laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever danced to a cuter or bubblier concept before, not even on the last survival show I did.”

What she said seemed to shock him. It seemed like he was one of the contestants who weren’t aware of this. She inwardly cursed towards herself. There was a chance for her to meet someone without that initial image of her being in a survival show, and she went and spilled about it.

“Oh you were on a survival show?”

“Around two years ago, yeah.”

Jake’s eyes were wide, and he looked around as if to check if anyone else heard what she said. “Everyone knows this? What did you rank in the end?”

His clear amazement made her laugh. “I don't think everyone knows this, and, um…”

“Yeah?”

“I ranked seventh.”

The smile that grew on his face was contagious as he lit up. “Oh, that’s so cool! Imagine if you got seventh here, too!”

“I don’t know if I can do that here,” she shook her head slightly, “I mean, there’s so many talented people. Look at you, for example.”

“No, I’ve only been training for a few months,” he denied while shaking his head.

She just laughed at that. “But you did really well! That just proves my point!”

His mouth opened, then closed as if realizing the truth to her words. This made her laugh even more as Sunoo approached them once again, Youngbin in tow. She watched as Sunoo made sure that the four of them stood in a small circle, all able to see each other.

“All my friends are here now,” Sunoo cheered, “so go and mingle with each other!”

“Hi,” Youngbin reached his hand to her. She shook it. “I’m Youngbin.”

She bowed her head at him slightly. “I’m Ari, and I’m looking forward to working with you.”

It was all nerves. She sat next to Sunoo and quietly watched as he, Jake, Youngbin, and Heeseung conversed among themselves. Everything was hushed as the timer ran closer and closer to voting time. She was confused. She didn’t know who she was going to vote for. She dropped her head into her hands.

“Hey,” a hand rested on her back, “it’ll be okay, got it?”

For some reason, it felt as if she was compelled to look up. Her eyes met Sunoo’s, and he gave her a reassuring smile. She shrugged and sat up. “It’s just a little nerve wracking. I mean, you can’t tell me you don’t expect everyone here to vote me out because I’m a girl.”

A click of a tongue caught her attention. She looked across the room on the other bed and saw Heeseung shaking his head.

“This is based on our potential,” he reminded her, “and that means you’re definitely going to get in. All four of you. You did so well during the entrance test. Remember, it’s potential and skill, not popularity.”

But it was popularity. What she experienced back then… It was popularity, and she hated it because she felt like the only reason she made it into the top nine was because she was well known for being the youngest participant. She felt like her talent was invalidated. It was popularity over skill. She wanted to say it out loud, but Heeseung looked so confident in his words, and the three boys looked comforted, so she kept her mouth shut.

That and they heard Ni-ki be called over speakers. Her head dropped into her hands once again, the sound of Sunoo’s laughter as he patted her back keeping her from drowning everything out.

“I’ve got you, Ari,” he told her. “We’re debuting together, right? You’re not going down to Ground on my watch.”

She patted his knee in thanks.

An agonizing twenty minutes passed as they all voted, and she found herself sitting on the floor by Sunoo’s feet. Her eyes flitted around the room, guiltily looking at the people she had voted for.

“Sunoo, I feel horrible.”

He bent down closer to her. “I told you you should have taken the chair.”

“Not that, stupid,” she hit his leg, “I know I voted for myself, but I also voted for three other people and I feel guilty.”

His sudden gasp made her jump. “Why would you vote for yourself?”

“Because I don’t want people to feel discouraged, okay?”

He rolled his eyes at her and laughed. “Sometimes you’re the worst, but sometimes you’re too nice for your own good.”

��Oh, shut up.”

A voice cut through the room, calling everyone’s attention.

“The first dropout received 10 votes. Kim Sunoo.”

Ari’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned around to face her friend. “No, that doesn’t make sense!”

“It’s okay,” he smiled at her, “I’ll be right back up here. Don’t follow me out there, okay?”

She gripped his hand as tight as she could. They had just promised to stay in I-land and debut together just around thirty minutes ago, and now he was being sent to ground? She looked down into her lap as the other people voted out were announced. It didn’t make sense to her. Sunoo had the best facial expressions out there on stage, and he was one of the most stable vocals. Considering he was only training for a few months, he should have stayed in I-land.

Then Taki was announced.

One glance at his disappointed look made her feel guilty. She found him adorable, and she loved his locking, but she felt that he could still grow more. She knew the others saw that as well. It made her chew on her bottom lip in worry, though. Taki was young, and this could hurt him a lot.

When EJ was called next, she took a glance to the side and met eyes with Heeseung. He gave her a slight nod and a barely noticeable smile, almost as if he was reassuring her that she’d be fine.

“All 4 dropouts are announced. Those who got eliminated, please move to the Ground now.”

“Yes, I get it.”

“No,” her heart dropped to her stomach when she heard Sunoo’s voice. She felt Sunoo pull his hand out of hers and stand up, so she got off the floor and hugged him. “no, no, no! You have to come up here, Sunoo.”

“Don’t get sappy on me, Ari.” His chuckle felt, though probably meant to be reassuring, felt sad to her. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“This doesn’t even make any sense. Your unit literally had the best performance.”

“Can’t change their decision now, though,” he shook his head and let go of her. Following his line of vision, she could see Taki in a swarm of hugs and Ni-ki giving her a sad look. Sunoo lightly nudged her in their direction.

Wordlessly, she walked over and pulled Taki into a hug. “Take this as an opportunity to learn and grow, alright, Taki?”

The younger boy nodded his head. “Yes, noona.”

“Go to Nabi unnie. She can help you a lot.”

With one last pat on his head, she walked over to Sungchul and EJ, shaking their hands and wishing them good luck. She didn’t get to speak to them much, but she was still sad to see them go.

Then they got into the gate. Her smile was wavering while she watched the gate block her view of her friend. The one person she felt most comfortable with, even more than Nabi and Jiwoo, and he was gone. She stood, staring at the gate and not processing anything else going on around her.

A hand resting on her shoulder made her jump in surprise. It was Heeseung looking at her worriedly. “Ari, are you okay?”

She nodded, pulling herself out of her thoughts. “I’m good. Why is everyone gathering.”

“We’re doing a hands in for a boost of morale.”

She followed him to the circle where Youngbin patted her head. They did their hands in and went to go get their nameplates.

Heeseung was nice enough to help her get hers and place it on the chair next to his own. After that, it was a matter of choosing rooms. She found herself gravitating towards Jake and Youngbin, ⅔ of the people she had spoken to the most that weren’t her unnies and Sunoo. The three of them, along with K, walked into the only room with four beds. This was the first time she smiled since the gate closed. She jumped onto the bed, Jake doing the same on the bed next to hers. They laughed before turning towards each other.

“I miss Sunoo already,” she admitted.

Jake nodded. “Me, too.”

“And he’s not going to like it if you two mope over him,” Youngbin chuckled and tossed the two’s respective blankets over their heads. “Pull yourself together and work hard. You know he’s gonna come up here again soon.”

She and Jake laughed at that before she turned to K.

“Hi, Taki and Ni-ki told me you were Japanese. I hope we’ll get along well.”

His surprised face made her grin widen. “Oh, you speak Japanese! Well, I look forward to working with you, Ari.”

She smiled at him before Jake decided to plop himself down on the bed next to her. “Before we get settled in and all, you wanna check out the pantry?”

“You bet!”

The next morning, a shaking in her bed woke her up. It’s not that she slept in, she had actually finished washing her face and brushing her teeth. She had showered the night before, so she just went back to her bed to rest her eyes for a bit before the day started. But, she dozed off by accident.

“Time to go, Ari,” K’s voice filled the room as he walked over to his own bed to grab his shoes after shaking her awake. “An alarm’s ringing. The task is going to be presented to us.”

“Oh crap,” she muttered while she slipped her shoes on and ran out the door. She slipped on her hoodie on the way to the lobby.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jake greeted her when she sat on her chair next to him, “you up for some cereal for breakfast after this?”

“Toast and fruit jam, too, please.” She flipped her hood up and rubbed at her eyes.

Then the graphics started, explaining everything. She could just keep up as the explanations happened, muttering to herself as she processed everything. “So, if we want to keep us all, then we’re gonna have to do good individually but still work together… What? more voting?”

And then their first mission was presented in a way that shocked everyone. BTS’s Miya appeared on screen.

“Hi, everyone!”

Suddenly all the I-landers were wide awake. She mumbled an Oh my God under her breath as she exchanged looks with Jake, whose eyes were equally wide. If she wasn’t mistaken, it was Jay who let out a surprised yell.

“Oh, what’s Yoonmi doing up there?” Heeseung asked from next to her. Ari could only look at him with wide eyes. How was he so casual about her?

Her voice captured everyone’s attention once again. “Bang PD asked me for a little favor. I pulled a little something together for you guys to perform, so I hope you like it. Oh, and credits to Seri for singing the demo with me. Without further ado, here’s Into the I-land.”

She watched as the song played, focusing intently on the melody and the choreography. It surprised her a little when Heeseung jumped up from his chair while watching. It also felt surreal to have her role model create a song for her. Well, for them, but still! Did that mean that they could possibly record with her?

As soon as the song ended and everyone’s amazement settled, her eyes drifted over to the line distribution. She silently nodded along to their discussion before meeting eyes with Jake.

“You wanna go through everything together?” she asked as soon as it seemed like the discussion ended.

His nod was all she needed. The two snuck away from everyone else and into their room. She listened to Jake while he practiced singing while she watched the video of the choreography continuously, moving her arms along.

Every now and then, She would join in on his singing just to get used to the melody. Eventually, they were able to sing along to the pre-chorus and chorus without looking down at the lyrics for the most part.

“Hey,” Jake called her attention after a few minutes, “let’s go to one of the smaller practice rooms so you can try out the choreography.”

“Okay.”

He put on his shoes and began to speak as they walked.

“Ari.”

“Hm?”

“Do you think you’re going to try for center? It would look cool, wouldn’t it?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line. It was something she tried in Mixnine, but people said she was greedy, so she didn’t want to try. Besides, who was she to take the chance away from any of the others who’d do better? She only stood out because she was a girl, and she didn’t want that to be the reason she was center. “I don’t know… If I do, then I'm already sure there will be a lot of backlash from the public. The others might not like it either.”

Jake gave her a solemn look as soon as they arrived in the smaller practice room. She settled the tablet down and pressed play and shrugged while focusing on the choreography. Jake shook his head and walked out of the room.

“I’m getting us breakfast!”

“Thanks, oppa!” She didn’t miss the way Jake did a double take when she called him that. It made her laugh and stop dancing. “Is it okay if I call you that?”

“It’s great!” Jake held up two thumbs up and jogged off to the second floor.

She went through the choreography, already having memorized it then cleaned her movements as she got her body used to it. Then the door opened to reveal Jake, slightly panting.

“They’ve got strawberry jam and mixed berries jam. Which do you want?”

“Hmm…”

“You have fifty seconds, I’m trying to make it back upstairs before the bread finishes toasting.”

“Mixed berries!”

“Got you, Ari!”

She stared at the door as Jake ran up the stairs before laughing and shaking her head. The first day was already turning out pretty amusing.

Until they were all gathered to decide the roles.

Jungwon gestured for her to sit next to him, which she did, but she scooted backwards a bit, still cautious about how the other boys felt about having her with them.

“We’re not going to eat you alive,” Jungwon whispered to her. She scoffed at him but allowed him to pull her forward and closer into the circle.

The person to her right was looking at her with what she believed was an amused smile. She slightly bowed her head at him in greeting, to which he returned and stuck out his hand.

“Hi, Ari. I’m Sunghoon.”

“Hi,” she shook his hand. “I’m Ari, but apparently you already knew that.”

“Well, you are the only girl here,” he chuckled, making her smile. “Can’t wait to work with you.”

“You, too.”

She did well at keeping a low profile until Heeseung asked for volunteers for part 1. Everyone stayed quiet. When she looked around, everyone seemed to be avoiding looking at anyone else. Then they decided to go by recommendation. That’s when her eyes caught Jake’s. He gave her a pointed look, to which she shook her head, but he still raised his hand.

“I think Ari would make a good center.” His voice was loud and clear, making her shrink back towards the outside of the circle. “She has experience on stage, and she’s a stable performer.”

The way all heads turned to her made her slightly dizzy. It reminded her too much of how the older girls looked at her back in Mixnine whenever she raised her hand to volunteer as center.

She shook her head. “No way. Sorry, I don't think I should be center. Please.”

“Are you sure?” From how Heeseung was acting, it almost seemed like he would have recommended her himself if Jake didn’t. “Jake has a point, Ari.”

She just looked at heeseung and nodded her head. The elder nodded back, understanding her discomfort, and looked at the others. A sigh of relief escaped her when Sunghoon and Youngbin were quick to raise their hands. She met eyes with Jake once again. The Australian boy gave her another pointed look and silently asked her if she was crazy.

“You’re crazy,” she mouthed back at him.

Eventually, she decided to go for part 4, which K and Jay were trying for as well.

“You know,” Seon began, “part 4 has to blend with part 3. How about we have you guys try singing with Jungwon? Ari first.”

“Sure,” she looked at Jungwon, “Jungwon, could you sing a bit just so I could get the pitch?”

“Oh, um, you &I.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

The two sang together, and it seemed like they both noticed each other’s dimples at the same time. While singing the line, they both broke out into a smile. After, their hands went up to cover their mouths to keep from laughing. Only then did they realize that they were met with a stunned silence.

K was the one to break it by laughing. “They sound pretty good.”

A few trials later, she became the one chosen to do part 4.

Throughout the whole selection process, she couldn’t help but look at Jay. It was somewhat fulfilling to see him go for every role, to the point where she was rooting for him. In her mind, she knew that a lot of viewers would be rooting for him as well. To her, he seemed to be a hardworking and persevering person. It made her a little upset to see him slowly losing confidence, so she tried to quietly call for him when he had his head down.

“Jay-ssi,” she whispered. He lifted his head and looked at her. She gave him a thumbs up and a smile. “Fighting! You look cool.”

The older boy gave her an unreadable look but nodded. She was then distracted by Sunghoon who looked at her and asked “What about me?”. If she paid attention to Jay a little longer, she would have seen a look of determination make its way back to his face.

Eventually, it was time to learn the choreography. She decided to stay up front since, despite her tall figure, she was still shorter than the others and wouldn’t really be able to see the mirror from the back. She kept to the side, though, to not block anyone. There wasn’t much struggle as she had already learned the choreography on her own and was just correcting herself to fit with the others. Something caught her eye, though. She could see Jake in the back looking quite frustrated. Youngbin, too. She looked back a bit and considered going back there, but couldn’t when K asked her to run through a short sequence with her.

When it got to break, though, she walked over to where Jake was. “Oppa, need some help?”

“Only if it won’t bother you.”

She smiled at him before silently going over the steps with him, only quietly pointing out the details of everything. They didn’t even notice when Youngbin walked into the practice room as well.

“Ari,” he began, “could you teach me, too?”

“Sure, oppa. So it goes kinda like this.”

The three of them went over the steps slowly at first before slowly picking up the pace. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face by the door watching them with a smile on his face. She laughed and waved at him.

“You three should go and grab something to drink,” Heeseung walked into the room. “Breaks are breaks for a reason.”

“You oppas have got it down well anyway,” she smiled at the two before making to walk out the practice room. “Let’s listen to Heeseung oppa.”

“So you’re calling us oppa now, huh?” Heeseung asked as he fell into step with her.

She shrugged. “Only you three so far. I haven’t spoken much to the others.”

“Well, at least I can brag about that to them.”

TAGLIST: @choisoobiniscute @strwberrydinosaur @1-800-enhypenbibi @caratinylyfe @sunflower-0180 @nctdream-minji @nayuyeonsrecs @woopetals @kimhyejin3108 (message or send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist/s 🥰)

#ari.ilandbehind #enhypen 8th member #enhypen female member #enhypen female addition #ari #yang ari

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jensengirl83 · 4 years ago

Text

Unsung Verses Chapter 9

Rockstar!Dean x plus sized reader

Word Count- 3364

Summary-Y/N and Dean have been best friends since high school, in a band together, and dated for a year but decided they were better off friends. They play gig after gig trying to get discovered, but once they sign a record deal, will fame be all it’s cracked up to be? Or will it be too much for their relationship to handle? Join them on their adventure to fame and find out!

Warnings- Angst, Fluff, Language

A/N- Song in this chapter is “Please Forgive Me” by Bryan Adams

Lyrics will be in italics.

Thank you to @deanwanddamons for being my beta for this series!

Text dividers made by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

Series Spotify Playlist

The playlist is a big part of the series!

Dean was sitting on the couch, nursing a beer and staring at his watch. Y/N had taken a cab from the recording studio, saying she needed some time alone, and she hadn’t come home yet. He had called and texted her numerous times, but she wasn’t answering her phone. He was beginning to worry and was tempted to go out and look for her, but he knew that would just piss her off even more, so he decided to wait for her.

He knew he shouldn’t have said what he had, but he was frustrated and let it get to him. Dean didn’t understand what she was so upset about, not used to her overreacting as she did. Y/N was usually the level-headed one of the two, and her outburst today was out of character for her. His thoughts were cut short by his phone ringing. He dove for it, hoping to see her face on his screen, but it was Sam calling.

“Yeah?” he answered, the annoyance clear in his tone.

“So, I take it she hasn’t made it home?” his brother’s voice boomed in his ear.

“No, and she won’t answer her phone either. This isn’t like her, Sam,” he sighed.

“I know, man, but all you can do is wait and talk to her when she shows up,” Sam’s advice wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“I’m just supposed to sit here and worry about her all night?! She knows better than this shit!” Dean shouted, his frustration growing the longer he waited for her.

“She’s a grown woman, Dean. She doesn’t have a curfew, and I’m pretty damn sure she would have your ass for even thinking that you can tell her what to do,” his little brother told him.

“I’m not trying to tell her what she can and can’t do. I feel like I at least deserve a call letting me know she isn’t dead somewhere!” he complained.

“I get it, dude, but there’s nothing you can do. When she does come home, I wouldn’t start on her as soon as she walks in the door, either. It won’t end well,” Sam advised him.

“I think I know her better than you do!” Dean growled, getting mad at Sam for thinking he knew Y/N better than he did.

“Do you?” Sam asked, sarcasm thick in his tone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean quipped.

“If you know her so well, then you would understand why she was so upset earlier. Lisa was doing everything short of grabbing you by the junk, man, and you did nothing to shut it down,”

“She was not! There was nothing to shut down,” Dean groaned. He had heard the same thing from Y/N and didn’t want to hear it from his brother too.

“Whatever you say, Dean. I’m just trying to tell you what has made her so mad. If you don’t want to listen, I can’t make you,” Sam huffed.

“Even if Lisa was hitting on me, Y/N should know how I feel about her and that I would never hurt her,” he said, trying to replay the day in his head, not wanting to believe they could be right.

“I’m sure she knows you love her, but if it was reversed, and some dude was hitting on her right in front of you, and she didn’t say or do anything about it, how would you feel?”

Dean didn’t answer his brother right away. He had to admit that he would’ve been pretty upset if some guy had been hitting on Y/N, but he didn’t think Lisa had been flirting. If he had honestly thought she was making an advance on him, he would’ve shut her down. He opened his mouth to speak, but heard keys rattling in the lock.

“She’s home. Gotta go,” he hung up and waited for her to walk through the door.

His eyes stayed on her once she was in the apartment. He sat quietly as she took off her shoes and hung up her purse, walking past him to their room and shutting the door without a word. He groaned with frustration, throwing his head back on the couch, knowing this wasn’t good news. She was still upset, and he knew she should leave her alone until she calmed down. The alcohol flowing through his system didn’t help him to make the right decision.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked as soon as he had the bedroom door open.

“What? No hi honey? We’re going straight to the inquisition?” she asked sarcastically.

“Where were you?” he repeated his question.

“If you must know, I went to the beach and walked along the pier for a while,” she said, walking past him and into the en suite.

“And you couldn’t answer your phone?” he was getting angry now.

“I turned it off,”

“What?! What if someone had needed to get in touch with you? What if there had been an emergency?!” he was almost shouting, throwing his hands around.

“How many beers have you had?” she asked bluntly.

“For your information, this is only my second one,” he huffed.

“How much whiskey before that?”

“This isn’t about how much I’ve had to drink! This is about you disappearing for hours while I sat here and worried myself sick!” he yelled.

She stared at him for a few minutes, trying to decide if she should engage in the argument he was trying to have. She was still upset, which wouldn’t end well with the attitude they both had. She was tired, frustrated, and hurt. Never a good combination when you need to have a serious conversation.

“Dean..” she sighed, but he interrupted her.

“No, we’re having this conversation, Y/N. I deserve to know where my girlfriend has been for the past four hours!” his voice rising in pitch with anger.

“Well, I deserve a boyfriend who won’t let a woman crawl up his ass right in front of me! We can’t always get what we want, now can we?” she spewed back, her voice laced with venom.

“Really?! You’re going there?” he growled.

“Yes, I’m going there! That’s the reason I left and needed time to myself!” she shouted, trying to hold in the tears that wanted to fall.

“Well, you had plenty of you time today, sweetheart,” he smarted, causing her to glare at him.

“Obviously not enough!” she bellowed, shoving past him and grabbing her pajamas and pillow from the bed.

“What are you doing?” he asked, grabbing her arm to stop her as she tried to leave the room.

“I’m sleeping in the guest room, and if you come in there, I’ll go get a motel room. Now, let go of me!” she yelled, yanking her arm from his grasp, stomping to the guest room, and slamming the door.

“Son of a bitch!” he screamed, punching the bedroom wall, causing some plaster to crack and fall to the floor, taking some of the skin on his knuckles with it.

He hadn’t wanted to fight with her, but once he had seen her come in, his anger got the best of him. The alcohol hadn’t helped the situation, but she should’ve at least texted to let him know she was okay. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

Looking down at his busted knuckles, he sighed, walking into the bathroom to clean them up and get ready for bed. There was nothing else he could do tonight, and he didn’t want to make it worse by trying to talk to her again. He had already done enough for one night, and they both needed the time to cool off anyway.

The sound of the front door closing roused Dean out of his slumber. He looked at the clock to see it was still early, and he had no idea who would be coming over at this time of the morning. He yawned and stretched, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, standing to go see who was rudely interrupting his sleep.

Once he rounded the corner into the living room and kitchen area, he was confused. There wasn’t anyone there, and everything was silent. The smell of coffee invaded his senses, turning to see the full pot waiting for him. Y/N must have been up and the one who had shut the door. He spun on his heels to go back to bed when he saw a note on the kitchen island.

Dean,

I didn’t want to wake you, but I’m going home. We have the next week off from recording, and I think it’s best if I’m not here. I can’t keep fighting with you. This break may be what we need to fix us or let us know that we can’t make it work. Take care of yourself while I’m gone. I love you.

He froze in panic. She was ready to give up on them, and he couldn’t let that happen. If he hurried, he should be able to catch her at the airport and ask her to come back home. He didn’t want to fly back to Kansas, but if he couldn’t see her before she boarded, he had no other choice. He wasn’t going to let her go back thinking that they could be over.

In a flurry of activity, he was dressed and out of the door. He was determined to get to her before she got on a plane, and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. He broke speed limits and numerous traffic laws getting there, pulling into the drop-off line right behind a cab. He was out and running for the door when he heard his name.

“Dean?!”

It was Y/N. She had stepped out of the cab that he had parked behind. He sprinted over to her, pulling her to the side, trying to catch his breath.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I had to catch you before you left,” he panted, still out of breath.

“Dean, we need a break. Last night proved that,” she whispered.

“No, Freddie, I need you home with me. I’m sorry how I acted last night. I had too much to drink, and I was out of line. Please come home so we can talk,” he pleaded, praying she would listen.

“I don’t know. We argued twice in one day, and I can’t keep fighting with you,” she sighed, “This was supposed to be a happy time for us, and it’s been shit so far,”

“I know, sweetheart, and I’m sorry! Come back with me, and I promise we’ll talk it out. No more of me being an ass,” he smirked, seeing her trying to fight a smile.

“You’re always an ass, Dean,” she chuckled.

“I am, and you can call me worse than that if you don’t leave. Please, Freddie?” he begged.

He could see her trying to sense if he was being honest, and he hoped she could see he meant every word. The thought of being without her had put things into perspective, and he was willing to do whatever she needed to make her stay.

“Fine, but the fighting has to slow down. I know we will have disagreements, I’m not naive, but the shouting matches have to end. I refuse to repeat my parent’s relationship,” she choked, tears starting to brim in her eyes.

“I promise, sweetheart! I drank too much last night and let my temper get the best of me, but it won’t happen again!” he declared, pulling her into a hug and kissing her head, “Now, can we go home? I need coffee,”

“I made you coffee..” she looked up at him in confusion.

“I saw your note, and I hightailed it out of there. I didn’t stop to drink it,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Well, let’s go get you some caffeine,” she laughed, “Lord knows how you are without it,”

“See, there’s my girl. You know me too well!” he smiled, kissing her softly before guiding her over to Baby, and putting her luggage in the trunk.

“I do know you fairly well, huh?” she giggled.

“Fairly well? Sweetheart, you know me better than I know myself!” he exclaimed.

She was going to say that she obviously didn’t. Considering how he had acted last night, she wouldn’t have seen that coming but decided against it. If he was willing to try and do better, then she needed to do the same. She hadn’t been entirely innocent in their arguments yesterday, but she let her emotions overtake her. Her insecurities had made her upset with Dean when he hadn’t done anything wrong, in all fairness. He should’ve noticed that Lisa was throwing herself at him, but she can’t fault him if he honestly didn’t see it. She would give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but after they talk, he had to keep his eyes open to Lisa and her antics.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed that he had started the engine and they were pulling away from the curb. His fingers entwining with hers was what drew her out of her head, looking over to see his smile. She returned it as the butterflies erupted, and her heart skipped a beat. No matter how long she had known him, she couldn’t get past his exquisite face. It still made her wonder what a man like him would ever want with someone like her, but she couldn’t complain. When it came to lovers, Y/N had won the lottery, and she knew it.

She kept the smile on her face, leaning her head back against the seat, listening to Dean sing softly to the song playing in the car. She could get lost in his voice and never want to be found. The richness and gravelly tone was comforting, but yet so sexy.

As she was drifting away with the music, a gentle squeeze on her hand made her open her eyes and look at him. He glanced over to her and winked before focusing back on the highway. She sighed in happiness as she closed her eyes yet again, letting his voice lull her to sleep as they drove back home.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open, and she began glancing around the room. She had decided to nap when they had gotten home from the airport, not having slept well the night before. What she hadn’t intended was to sleep the day away. She could tell by the lack of light in the room that it was up into the evening hours.

She groaned as she rolled out of bed, grabbing her robe, and making her way to the kitchen. After a nap like that, she needed caffeine and a lot of it, deciding on a cup of coffee. She didn’t care what time it was. As she was about to round the corner, she heard Dean singing softly.

She stayed hidden in the hallway, peeking around to watch him. He was writing a song. His guitar propped up in his lap, a cap on backward, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, and his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. She had to stifle a giggle at how adorable he looked. She continued to watch as he strummed his guitar in between writing down lyrics, the need for coffee eventually winning out.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked sweetly, walking over to the coffee pot and starting it.

“Hey, babe. I got an idea for a song while you were asleep. So, I was working out the melody,” he smiled at her.

“Oh yeah? Any chance I can hear it?” she grinned.

“I don’t know..” he whispered shyly.

“Dean Winchester, are you being shy with me?” she chuckled.

“Shut up,” he groaned, making her laugh.

“Come on, can I hear it? Please?” she pleaded, sticking her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout.

“Fine, but don’t laugh,” he grumbled.

“Why would I laugh?” she asked seriously.

“It’s really sappy,” he said, turning his face away from her to try and hide his embarrassment.

“Aww, what inspired you to write something like that?” she smiled, sitting down beside him on the couch, coffee in her hands.

“You,” he said, looking her in the eyes, no hint of joking in his tone.

“Now I have to hear it!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Okay, but let me get it all out before you say anything,” he sighed.

“I will, promise,” she nudged his shoulder, making them both laugh.

It still feels like our first night together

Feels like the first kiss

It's getting better baby

No one can better this

Still holding on

You're still the one

First time our eyes met

Same feeling I get

Only feels much stronger

I want to love you longer

You still turn the fire on

Y/N sat in silence as he sang. The lyrics and the emotional way he was singing were bringing her to tears. He hadn’t written a song like this since they were teenagers, or not that she had heard.

So if you're feeling lonely, don't

You're the only one I'll ever want

I only want to make it good

So if I love you, a little more than I should

Please forgive me. I know not what I do

Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you

Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through

Please forgive me, if I need you like I do

Please believe me. Every word I say is true

Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you

The one thing I'm sure of

Is the way we make love

The one thing I depend on

Is for us to stay strong

With every word and every breath I'm praying

That's why I'm saying,

Please forgive me. I know not what I do

Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you

Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through

Please forgive me, if I need you like I do

Babe believe it, every word I say is true

Please forgive me, if I can't stop loving you

No, believe me, I don't know what I do

Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you

I can't stop, loving you

He ended the song and put down the guitar, looking over to see tears falling onto her cheeks. He reached over to cup her face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. He didn’t want to make her cry, and that’s why he hadn’t wanted to play it for her yet.

“Dean..” she whispered, not sure what to say.

“I told you it was sappy. It was something that came to me while I was thinking about you,” he smiled, “It’s not that great, but..”

“It’s beautiful!” she interrupted him.

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s..it’s..I’ve never heard a song so beautiful!” she cried, her bottom lip quivering.

“Aww, Freddie, don’t cry,” he laughed, pulling her into a hug.

“I can’t believe you wrote that about me,” she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder as he held her tight.

“Why not? You know I’m crazy about you, sweetheart. It’s not a secret,” he chuckled.

“I know, but that was incredible!” she sniffled.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I know I was out of line last night, and I deserved everything you said,”

“Dean, don’t. We were both at fault. We need to put it behind us and move on. We can’t move forward if we dwell in the past,”

“Okay, nothing but forward from here,” he said, kissing her lightly on the lips.

“Only forward,” she agreed.

She curled up into this side, wrapping her arms around his middle. They sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company and the affection they were showing each other. The light kisses and roaming hands eventually led them to their bedroom, where they spent the night in each other’s arms. Both showed the other just how much they loved them and made promises that would hopefully go unbroken. If only they could see what the future was going to hold for them.

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lonelyreputation · 4 years ago

Text

Different (part two)

A/N: Surprise!! I’m posting earlier than I thought I would! And we’re back with the angst!! Straight angst! Like literally all of this is angst there’s nothing else. Also! I just started a tag list, so send me a message if you want to be added!!

Don’t we all just love some unrequited love?? 💞 💖

Also, your support has been so tremendous, thank you guys all so much, I love you to the moon and to Saturn 😉 💫 THANKS A MILLION! Reblogs are never expected, but always appreciated!! 🤗💞🌻

REQUEST/PROMPT: People talking a room away & Fighting the urge to cry & Unrequited Love

Part ONE | Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: Few swear words, some self-doubt, and ANGST!!!

Word Count: 5.7K

Shawn’s texts are bold and italicized & your texts are in italics

You promptly left the party, the broken glass left unattended on the floor, and silently cried the whole way back to your apartment with your arms hugging tight around your stomach.

Opening the door to your apartment wasn’t an easy task. Tears clouded your vision as you fumbled to find the right key to open the door. You had bit the inside of your cheek repeatedly on the walk home causing you to taste metallic every time you swallowed back a sob. Your chin wobbled, and just when you were about to give up and sit out in the hallway to cry, your roommate opened the door with a questioning look.

“How was the…party?”

She’s different––She’s just a friend––I don’t love her.

You brushed past her, “Fantastic.” You said as a few more tears fell from your eyes and your voice cracked.

She seemed to have caught the sarcasm behind your voice that alluded to the party being anything but fantastic. Your bloodshot eyes and wobbly chin also gave her a good indication that you left the party early.

There weren’t anymore words exchanged between the two of you as you quickly walked to your room to finally break down. You held a hand to your chest, clutching your necklace, a birthday present from Shawn, in a fist as you gasped out for air.

You’re different. You’re just a friend. He doesn’t love you.

You had a hand on the handle of your bathroom door as you harshly banged against it with your shoulder to open it wide. Once the door was closed, and you felt safe from the world around you, as you leaned up against the door and let out a cry of desperation. You were so sure that Shawn was the love of your life. You were positive that he had felt something––maybe not love––but some type of feelings for you that were stronger than friendship.

You slid down the door until you were sitting on the cold tiles, the only thing giving you a feeling other than absolute heartbreak. You tried your best to keep your cries quiet, clenching your teeth and hissing out a breath every now and then in order not to draw anymore attention from your roommate. You could physically feel your chest caving in on your heart.

The necklace that was still being held tightly in your hand burned your exposed skin. Hastily, you unclasped it from your neck, and heard the little dink of a sound as the soft metal material of the necklace collided against the tile.

You bent your knees and hugged your legs close to your chest, failing at sniffling back your sobs as you rested your forehead on top of your knees. You were second guessing every interaction you had with Shawn; the soft smiles from across a crowded room, him randomly sending you flowers when he knew you were stressed, how he touched you only a few hours ago.

Who said anything about love?

You tried to hold back something between a sob and a shout as you heard Brian’s question repeat over and over in your head. You felt hot all over your body, and most of all, you felt like a fool for listening to Olivia’s advice about confessing your true feelings to your best friend. The back of your head started to throb and the ache of your breaking heart was having a tortuous physical effect on the rest of your body.

Buzz. Buzz.

You lifted your head to see your phone vibrating against the tile, moving ever so slightly with every ring. A new wave of tears started to fall over as you saw Shawn’s contact picture; a picture you took of him asleep on the couch after the first time you watched 10 Things I Hate About You. You let the call go unanswered. Once you saw his picture disappear, you let out a shaky breath, but it didn’t last long because his picture showed up on your phone again.

You screened his call again.

Thankfully, he didn’t try calling you again, but your phone continued to buzz indicating that a few text messages were being received. You bit your lip as you brought your arm up to your nose to wipe away the excess of tears that mixed with your runny nose and read the text messages.

Where are you? I came back to the kitchen and didn’t see you?

Are you still here? Y/n?

Liv just told me you were feeling sick, do you need anything? I can come around tomorrow morning. Love you & hope you feel better xx

Just like your necklace, you slid your phone across the bathroom tile for it to be as far away from you.

Love you? The malicious part of your brain spoke up, ha. He even said it himself, he’s never loved you.

And again, the sane part of your mind didn’t have a rebuttal.

///

It had been five days since you eavesdropped on Shawn and Brian’s conversation. Five days since Shawn said he didn’t love you. Five dreadfully long days since your best friend broke your heart and you had to pretend like everything was fine.

Everything was not fine.

On the first day, you left his texts unanswered and told your roommate to turn him away if he showed up at your door. Day two, you respond to his texts saying you had a migraine and couldn’t look at any bright lights, your excuse for not responding to any of his messages. Day three, he came over to your apartment with pizza, two big fuzzy blankets, and your favorite Pixar movie because, you always watch Pixar when you’re feeling sick, I know you, he said.

I know you; but he didn’t know that you were purposefully avoiding him.

On day four, you were back over at Shawn’s apartment with Brian. Like you had done earlier when Shawn had just come home from tour, the three of you were out on his deck with the fire going. Brian was in the single chair again while you and Shawn were sharing the couch. Except this time, your head wasn’t nestled into his chest, you were sitting on the complete opposite end with your feet tucked under you.

Brian and Shawn both had alcoholic drinks of their choice while you had a glass of water.

“So, Shawn,” Brian quickly looked over at you for a brief moment before he looked at the boy in question, “Write any good songs?”

You wrapped the blanket tighter around your body, using it as a shield for whatever his answer would be, as you took a sip of your water. You stared at the CN Tower, pretending like you weren’t interested in their conversation.

You felt Shawn’s eyes glance at your figure for a second before he took a sip of his drink and nodded, “A few.”

“Oh c’mon,” Brian let out a little laugh as he looked at you until you gave him a roll of his eyes, “It’s just us––It’s not like we’re gonna leak them.”

“Y/n heard one of them.”

Brian raised his eyebrows, “Did she now?”

They both expected you to give your input, but you stayed silent, pretending to be enamored with the city lights.

When Brian noticed that his two best friends weren’t going to say anything, he cleared his throat, “And what did you think of it?”

With a question directed at you, you knew you couldn’t avoid contributing to any part of the conversation any longer. You shot Brian a glare, as you took a sip of water to stall some time, “It was nice.”

Brian threw his head back in laughter at your simple answer and Shawn stared at you with a questioning tilt of his head. You knew that he was thinking back to your taco night when he nervously played the song for you. Where you praised him for his songwriting abilities and said it was your favorite song he had ever written. But the more you thought back on that night, the more you noticed how distracted he was.

He didn’t want to mix the spices, and while you measured the different seasonings, you would glance up at him to see his thumbs rapidly moving across the screen of his phone. You remember asking him what was so important on his phone when you caught him smiling down at it. And he didn’t tell you any specific stories from when he was on tour, which were always a topic of discussion on taco night. He specifically brushed away your questions about Los Angeles.

“There would be a million girls out there who would die to listen to an unreleased Shawn Mendes song and all you say is that it’s nice?”

You shrugged your shoulders and took another sip of water, hoping it would ease the familiar scratchiness at the back of your throat, “Yeah.”

Just thinking about the song that was so clearly written for you made you want to cry like you did that night you found out Shawn didn’t love you. When you first heard the song, you wanted that sweet guitar melody ingrained in your mind forever. You wanted those lyrics tattooed somewhere on your body that was only visible to you. He had sung about having a different kind of love for you.

Different.

You finished your water and excused yourself to get a refill with a sniffle as you went into his kitchen, wiping away a few stubborn tears that fell.

But the fifth day…The fifth day was worse than the day you overheard Shawn say he didn’t love you.

You were out grocery shopping when you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. Unlocking it, you saw a text from Shawn; Busy?

Out food shopping, you texted back, everything alright?

I’m bored.

You let out a small laugh at his response, pushing your cart out of the aisle you were in and stood off to the side, not wanting to disrupt anyone’s shopping habits.

Poor you, you texted back, I’m sure you’re really missing the tour life right now.

Nah, he texted back instantly, just missing you.

Your heart soared with happiness, but only for a split second. He didn’t see you in the same way you saw him. He didn’t look at you like you hung the stars in the sky. He didn’t think of you as being someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

With a frown, your thumbs moved quickly across the screen, Boo hoo.

Come over.

You weren’t expecting him to be so direct. You hadn’t hung out alone since taco night and you weren’t sure you were strong enough to keep your composure together.

And don’t say you’re busy.

You only go food shopping when you have absolutely nothing to do.

Your thumbs stopped typing out your response. Maybe, you thought to yourself, just maybe he does know you as well as you knew him.

Let me check out and drop the bags off at my place then I’ll head over.

You felt your stomach churn with anxiety as you stared at the lone smiley face. He usually texted with emojis, so you knew something was off when he was using simple keyboard emoticons. It only made you that much more nervous to be alone with him.

It didn’t take long to finish gathering what you needed and then headed to check out. You didn’t have too much stuff, so it was easy to carry your reusable bags from the store front to the car without your cart. Once your bags were placed in the back, and you were in the driver’s seat, you placed both hands on the steering wheel, gripping the leather material until your knuckles turned a few shades lighter than your skin tone, letting out a deep breath.

You told yourself you didn’t have a reason to be nervous. Deep breath in. You were the one who had the problem with Shawn, not the other way around, he didn't know you were in love with him. Deep breath out.

Turning the key in your car took a little more effort than normal because you could feel your stomach tell you not to go over to Shawn’s place. Your gut had a feeling that something wasn’t right. But he was still your best friend, you still loved him, and you would do anything to have him in your life.

You drove home, quickly placing your groceries away, and then walked over to Shawn’s apartment. Sure, it would’ve been easier to drive, but you couldn’t pass up the sweet summer air that whisked down the streets of Toronto.

Are you still coming?

A smile crept onto your face as you sent him an eye roll emoji, At the corner waiting to cross the street. Be there in five.

Instead of your stomach flipping with summersaults, it flipped with anxiety. You shook your hands to free yourself of the nerves you felt inside, and smiled at the doorman who greeted you by name. You made your way to the elevator, pressing the button to Shawn’s floor.

You were always bouncing with excitement riding the elevator up to Shawn’s place because it meant that you were going to see him. But now your leg bounced with anxiety and the ride up seemed to take hours.

Once on the floor, you made the journey to Shawn’s door, and before you could knock, Shawn swung open the door with a smile on his face. You couldn’t even get a greeting out as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, leaning his cheek on top of your head.

You felt the familiar feeling of warmth that you associated with him as you felt his heartbeat. Out of instinct, you brought your arms around his torso and hugged him back just as tightly, breathing in his scent.

“C’mon,” Shawn squeezed you tight one last time before unraveling his arms from around you, letting his hand graze your down your arm to your hand where he intertwined your fingers, “Brian will be here in like an hour and I want you to myself for a bit.”

With your hand in his, he pulled you inside his apartment and you looked at the back of his head like he was leading you to an eternity of happiness. As he pulled you past the kitchen and into the living room, he peered over his shoulder and offered you a shy smile.

Oh yes, you thought to yourself, you were still hopelessly in love with him; ready to bend yourself however which way just to see him smile.

He flopped onto the couch, with you standing above him, but with a gentle tug of your hand, you were falling into his chest with a laugh. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling the familiar warmth of his skin through his cotton t-shirt seep into you. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, his chest still vibrating with laughter, and you thought that even though he might like someone else, he may just love you.

“Wanna watch La La Land?”

His question brought you out of your daydream, “I thought you didn’t like the ending?”

Shawn shrugged his shoulders as he reached for the remote, the movie already queued up, “Haven’t seen it in a while.”

You slowly nodded your head, using your hand that was on his chest to push yourself off him. But he caught your wrist in his hand, “Stay.”

With a smile slowly tugging at the corners of your lips, you nodded and laid your head on his chest, sliding your legs between his, as you felt his heartbeat accelerate. Around thirty minutes into the film, you felt Shawn bring one of his hands up to your head, softly running the tips of his fingers over your hair.

It was the little gestures that made you fall in love with your best friend. How he always managed to relax you with a hand on your shoulder. How he would listen intently over the phone when he was hundreds of miles away. And how when you would be out on a date, he would call you after texting him your codeword for an excuse to leave. But even if the date was going well, you would still text him to call, because he wasn’t the one sitting across from you.

As if you had plunged head first into the ocean, thoughts were swimming around in your mind; his touches were comforting––you felt a spark tingle its way through your veins every time he touched you––you were never afraid to be yourself around him.

But soon the thoughts that made you feel like you were floating above the surface, suddenly swallowed you whole, and the thoughts only got worse, feeling as if you were thrashing around the water, reaching your hands up to break through to the surface; this is all you’ll ever be to him––You won’t ever have the joy of graduating to something more––Soon his gentle touches and soft eyes will be reserved for someone else––Someone he’s capable of loving––He’ll never want you in the way you want him.

As he repeated his movements of touching your hair, as if he didn’t give it a second thought, it was the only thing you were capable of giving your full attention to. The warmth you usually felt now felt like a burning sensation as it spread like a wildfire throughout your body.

You lifted your head from his chest abruptly before his hand could caress your hair once more. Shawn was startled by your sudden movement and looked up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I––Sorry, I––” you felt your chin wobble and you knew that you had to get away from him, “I have––I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

You untangled your legs from his as you stumbled to get up, bringing your hand up to cover your mouth when your back was to him. You could hear his distant voice asking if you wanted him to pause the film as you skidded across his floor to the bathroom. You didn’t bother replying to him, already knowing how the film played out.

You tried to even out your breathing, soft gasps emitting from your lips as to not alert Shawn that you were having a breakdown in his bathroom. You thought you could be friends with him, you were trying everything to keep him in your life, but it was taking too much of a toll on your feelings.

He loves you like a best friend, the rational part of your brain tried to make sense of your heartbreak.

But that’s not enough, the irrational part of your mind yelled over its counterpart, you’ll never be enough.

Your hands gripped the granite countertop so tight that your knuckles turned a few shades lighter than your original skin tone. The coolness of the granite didn’t do anything to soothe the leftover burning you felt course through your veins from Shawn’s touches. You lifted your head to look in the mirror and noticed that the reflection of the girl looking back at you was a heartbroken stranger.

Turning the sink on, you ran your hands under the cold water, cupping your hands under the faucet and splashing your face with water to cover up the redness of your eyes. You grabbed a towel from the rack hanging on the wall after you had shut the water off and dried your hands. You didn’t think you could last through the rest of the movie without breaking down, so you turned on your heel and opened the door, prepared to tell Shawn you had a headache and wanted to go home.

But when you opened the door, you were met with Shawn leaning against the wall across the hallway, arms crossed over his chest, with a concerned, yet irked, look in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

HIs question was direct, and you had the truth banging from the inside of your skull, begging to be released; I love you––I want to be more than best friends––It’s killing me to not tell you how I feel––But I know you don’t love me.

“Nothing,” you tried to squash your thoughts, but it only made your headache hurt more, “Listen, I––”

“Why aren’t you wearing your necklace?”

Another direct question that left you speechless. You slowly brought your hand up to your chest, fingers resting just beneath your collarbone, where your necklace had taken up a home everyday since Shawn gave it to you four years ago.

“I forgot––I forgot to put it on this morning.”

“I know you sleep with it on,” Shawn’s voice was monotone as he deflected your excuses and shot you another direct question, “Why’d you take it off?”

A flashback of you ripping the necklace off your skin and throwing it across your bathroom as tears heavily flowed down your face flashed through your mind. The sound it made as it hit the tile floor echoing in your thoughts.

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress the heartbreak you felt on that night down, “You’re delusional, if you’re so sure I sleep with it on––”

“Y/n,” his voice was dangerously low, “Why did you take the necklace off.”

His jaw was clenched to hold back his rage of anger. And your jaw was clenched to hold back your waterfall of tears.

“Because I did,” you scoffed at Shawn, sending him a glare, as you walked past him, “It’s just a necklace.”

It’s more than a necklace, the rational part of your mind whispered, both of you know that it’s so much more than just a necklace.

The irrational part of your brain stayed mute.

Before you could successfully make it down the hallway, Shawn circled a hand around your wrist, “Don’t feed me that bull––”

You were fed up with him. You were fed up with his teasing touches, fed up with the caring words he whispered to you in secret, fed up with how he thought he knew you better than anyone else. Because if he really knew you––knew how your heart beat faster just for him––then you wouldn’t be in this position.

You ripped your wrist out of his hold and spun around, “Shawn, I love you!”

Your tone was scathing, but at the same time it was a cry for help. And the only person who would be able to offer you assistance was frozen to the ground, lips slightly parted, but his eyes stayed the same. You expected his eyes to be wide in shock, you expected him to be thrown off by your statement, but he didn’t seem fazed.

“I––I’ve loved you for so long and I can’t––Everything just hurts,” your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, as your eyes maintained contact with the boy who you would give everything up for, “You act like you know me, but if you really did, then you’d know how much my heart is breaking whenever I’m around you.”

You already knew that he didn’t love back, you had already gone through this heartbreak, but seeing him trying to figure out the words that would no doubt ruin your friendship, it was as if your first heartbreak felt like a little scrape on the knee.

He brought both hands up to rub his face, taking in a deep breath, as he looked up toward the ceiling, “Y/n,” his voice was strained, but not in the way you felt your throat closing up from the threat of tears, he was holding back resentment, “That––Can’t––You don’t love me––Not––Not like…That.”

Without any remorse, it was as if he had ripped your heart apart like you were just a piece of scrap paper with lyrics he didn’t think were good enough. Not good enough, your mind echoed, you’re not good enough for him.

He had already witnessed you confiding your deepest secret to him. And you didn’t think he deserved to witness the aftermath of your world crumbling.

You understood what the collapse of the Roman Empire must’ve felt like.

Tears were already falling fast down your cheeks, and you spun around, not bothering to say anything else to him because he didn’t warrant any more of your words after he so carelessly threw away your confession.

You made it to his kitchen when you heard his pleading voice, “Wait––” And when you felt the fire of his skin on your skin, it was a pain you never wanted to experience again.

Before he could enclose his hand around your wrist for a third time today, you snatched your arm away, cradling your wrist into your chest like you were trying to heal a wound. You had an internal wound that you didn’t think would go away any time soon.

“If you can’t––If you don’t want to be with me,” You choked out a sob as you stared into his brown eyes; it was the first time you saw genuine heartbreak in his eyes. And part of you was glad that he was experiencing a fraction of the pain he put you through over the past five days, “I can’t…we can’t be friends.”

His exasperated exterior fell just as fast as his face, “Don’t say that,” he took a few steps forward and reached out a hand, but stopped it mid-way and left it hanging in the air, knowing you would push him away again, “You don’t mean that––”

“I––Shawn, I can’t––” your voice was high-pitched as your bottom lip quivered, the reality of the situation becoming all too real for the both of you, “It’s been so hard these past few years––”

“Years?”

You ignored his question as another one of your secrets slipped past your trembling lips, “It’s just too––too hard right now,” you hiccuped, “I need–sp––space.”

“But I––I just got you back––You’re my best friend. I don’t want space from you.”

You did your best to ignore the tears welling up in the corner of his eyes as you tasted your own salty tears as you spoke, “You have Brian––”

“Don’t,” his voice was rigid as the first of his tears fell from his eyes. He harshly brushed the top of his palm across his cheek to rid himself of his falling tears. But the more he kept wiping away his tears, more fell from his eyes, “You know that our friendship is different than what we have with anyone else.”

“Exactly!” You threw your hands up in the air, letting out a humorless laugh, “It’s different because we’re different! We’re different around each other because there’s something more between us––”

“We’re just friends!” Shawn raised his voice over yours.

It was silent after that as you tried to keep your sniffles to a minimum, gulping your emotions down your cracked throat. You had made your feelings about him clear. And he had made his feelings about you clear; friends. Just friends.

“What,” he smacked his lips together, his next question coming out in a whisper, “What did I do wrong to make you think of me––of us––to be more than friends?”

What did he not do? That was the real question that had been floating around your head for years. How could you not fall in love with the cadence of his voice? How could you resist the invisible pull you felt toward him that only grew stronger since the first time you said hello? How could you refuse to let yourself fall in love for someone you were so sure was made for you?

You offered him the best smile you could through your tears, “You did…Nothing wrong,” you let out a whisper of a laugh as you stared into his eyes that were once so comforting. His eyes used to bring you so much joy, but now they held with just as much heartbreak as yours, “You were just…Yourself.”

“But you––Why tell me this––Why are you destroying our friendship when you already knew I didn’t love you back?”

“I didn’t want to tell you––Wait,” you had felt your heart stop for the boy in front of you a million times. Your heart had stopped for him when he gave you your star sign constellation as a necklace for a present. Your heart had stopped for him when he pointed at you when he was performing on stage.

But never had it stopped for this long as you awaited his answer, “How did you know that I knew?”

Shawn’s red eyes grew wide, not expecting for his little secret to slip out. He tried stammering out an excuse through his tears, but just like he had deflected your excuses about not wearing your necklace, you weren’t putting up with him. You had an inclination as to how he knew that you knew he didn’t feel the same way about you. But you were praying that you were wrong.

God, you hoped you were wrong.

“Shawn,” your voice cracked as you looked at him, he was shaking his head as if begging you not to ask your next question, “How did you know?”

“Y/n––”

“How.”

Shawn let out a breath so shaky that you felt yourself lose balance, “At the party, five days ago…” his eyes were begging you to have him stop his explanation, but you shook your head, wanting him to twist the knife he had already plunged so deep into your heart.

“The bathroom door was open and––and I saw you form the corner of my eye and when Brian asked me about you––I thought if you heard I didn’t love you, instead of me saying it to you, that we could go back to being normal.”

He knew you were listening. He knew you weren’t okay when he asked you so delicately, so full of obliviousness, as you cut yourself with shards of broken glass. And he knowingly left you in the kitchen after he knew he had broken your heart.

Turns out, he did know you just as well as you thought.

“You…You knew I was listening?”

The nod of his head was the final hit. It felt as if a hawk had swooped into your heart, talons digging in deep, thrashing until they successfully picked your heart apart piece by piece, savoring every moment of your destruction.

You didn’t think it was possible to feel even more hurt than you did that night when you listened to him in the bathroom say so confidently that he didn’t love you. He said it with so much conviction––I don’t love her––knowing that you were just a few feet away from him, clearly able to hear him break your heart.

His presence, one that you yearned for during every second of the day you weren’t with him, was now something that repulsed you.

How did your supposed best friend have so little respect for you?

Without a second thought other than to get the hell out of his apartment, you dashed behind him to the living room to pick your phone up from the coffee table, haphazardly slid your sneakers on, and tucked the laces under the tongue of the shoe. Your hands were shaking as you rushed past his standstill figure in the kitchen.

Your hand was on the doorknob, about to turn it, but his voice cut you off.

“Don’t––Y/n, I’m sorry––”

The tips of his fingers grazed your elbow, just as gently as they caressed your hair earlier, but you opened the door, jumping out into the hallway to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

“Fucking––Stay away from me.”

You slammed the door on his tearstained face and ran down the hallway. You ran to the very end, skipping the elevator as you yanked the door to the stairs open. Your palms were sweating, heart beating out of control, as you raced down the stairs out of breath. Shawn had made you feel all those things before, but never had you felt them in such a turmoil of pain, you had previously only felt them out of the nervousness of love for him.

You made it to the lobby, praying that Shawn hadn’t taken the elevator down to stop you from leaving. When you saw that the coast was clear, you avoided eye contact with the doorman, as you quickly walked past him.

“Y/n?”

You whipped your head around, eyes wide, as you saw Brian stood a few feet away from you with a concerned look on his face.

His eyes started at your face, taking in your splotchy appearance, then his eyes darted to your shaky hands, and then back up to your red eyes, where tears were still falling.

He looked at you with a regretful smile, “You told him?”

You sniffed back the tears and brought your forearm to wipe under your nose, “I don’t––Told him what?”

He gave you a pointed stare, you had never confided in Brian about your feelings for Shawn, but you always had a feeling that he knew something.

“Did he tell you?”

You screwed your eyes tight wanting to erase everything you had heard in the last hour.

When you opened your eyes, Brian’s mournful stare was still on you, “He told me a lot of things.” He perked up at that piece of information. There was a glint of glee in his eyes, but it was soon replaced with confusion as you said your next sentence, “Keep him from coming after me.”

“What do you––”

The ding of the elevator and a desperate shout of a voice that had just destroyed your heart called out your name, cut him off, “Y/n!”

Your body went into fight or flight mode, and you chose flight as your petrified body sprinted out the glass door of his building.

And just like the night after the party, you walked home from Shawn’s place to your apartment, arms hugging your stomach for some sort of comfort, tears clouding your vision. You miserably failed to keep your cries at bay as you publicly showcased your heartbreak as gray clouds rolled in and thunder boomed from the distance.

-----

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taexyoongs · 6 years ago

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Comfort Food

ASK by @givemehoroscopes: hey hello hi could I request a tae scenario where it's yoongi's birthday the boys throw a big party and as being close friends with them Y/N is invited. And theeen, she gets very drunk because she has realised that she has feelings for tae and can't cope with it normally;) and then tae is being very soft like his usual self and takes care of her, and Y/N confesses to him and then can't remember anything in the morning THANK YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY <3

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader (ft. bff Jungkook)

Genre: fratboy!bts

Length: 6.3K

Authors Note (Admin Taenox): READ ON COMPUTER, LOOKS WEIRD ON PHONES !! I’m sorry it took so long and I hope you like it <3 ALSO: This might look weird on my phone since I’m formatting on my laptop. And my writing style can be confusing so in case you don’t know: italics mean internal thoughts of whoever’s POV the scene is in. Quotations is normal speaking.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Cancel all of your plans and be at the frat house by 8.”

“I swear to god, Kim Taehyung, if you think I’m going to spend my birthday throwing up in a toilet, you’re wrong.”

“Come on, hyung. You know you enjoy every second of it. You’re always a grouch about it before, but when you show up, you’re the life of the party.”

“No. I hate those parties.”

“Tell that to all the girls you grind on when you’re drunk.”

“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung.”

“I’m good, but I’m sure the girls would take the offer.”

Hoseok stepped in.

“Hobi, save me from this madman.”

“Yeah, dumbass, he clearly isn’t being convinced,” chimed in Jimin.

Jin whacked Jimin with his sleeve. “Don’t call Tae a dumbass, dumbass.”

“Okay, I have to step in as the leader here and clear things up,” said Namjoon. “Tae is, in fact, sometimes, occasionally, a dumbass.”

Jin whacked Namjoon with his sleeve. “Then you’re a dumbass too. Leader, pshh. I’m the oldest one here, You all better listen to me or else…”

“You’ll beat us up?” added in Jungkook, while flexing.

“Don’t get cocky on me. I can still beat you in a fight.”

“Hey Yoongi hyung,” said Jimin softly. “I think you’re really cool and smart and amazing and-”

“You damn well KNOW you enjoy those parties too,” repeated Taehyung.

“We even invite the girls.”

“OKAY. EVERYONE SHUT UP. I’ll go! You better bring me a trillion gifts and a lot of alcohol.”

Yoongi looked up at the other six. A small surprised moment of silence ensued.

Then madness.

“YES!” “FINALLY!” “OH MY GOODNESS, IT IS GOING TO BE SOOO LIT!” “SUCCESS!” “HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOONGI!”

And that’s how the night began.

…

Y/N

There are a great number of distinctions between a frat party and every other party. Frat parties have way too many people for way too little space, while regular parties have an average amount of people for an average amount of space. Frat parties have copious, even outrageous amounts of alcohol, while every other party has just enough. Everyone knows that whoever chugs the most from the keg is obviously far superior to the mere lightweights. And most importantly, unlike every other party, frat parties were where mistakes are made.

And this frat party was no different. Booze was in every hand and music was blasting in every corner of the medium sized frat house. When you entered through the front doors, you could feel the temperature go up by several degrees. You scanned the room. On your right was the crazy dance pit full of writhing bodies. As expected, Min Yoongi, along with Jin, Jimin, Joon and Hoseok, was right in the middle, having the time of his life. On your left was a large table of food and beer. And straight ahead was the kitchen. Your eyes drifted over the pit again. Gosh why did it have to be so dark in there? “Hey. Hobi…. Hobi!”

He can’t hear me. Guess I’ll have to go in there myself. Ugh.

You started to make you way through the crowd of sweaty drunk people.

Why do people enjoy this? I mean, there has to be a reason why people get drunk right? Alcohol tastes like crap, so it can’t be that they enjoy the taste. To get away from some emotion then. To get so drunk that they become emotionless and let their bodies go to the sway of the music? It’s better to feel the emotions and get over them slowly but surely right? Right?

You were next to Hobi now.

Your arm reached out and poked his shoulder.

“HEY IM JUST TRYING TO DANCE SO IF YOU DON’T MIND- OHHH! Y/N IT’S JUST YOU! HI!”

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“HUH?”

“WHERE’S JUNGKOOK?”

“THE KITCHEN.”

“THANK YOU!”

“COME JOIN US AFTER Y/N! WE MISSED YOU”

“MISSED YOU TOO!”

You started to push your way out of the crowd. “Watch out!” “Sorry!” “Excuse me.”

After picking up some punch off of the 2% of the table that was not alcohol, you turned your feet towards the kitchen.

Wait. What if Taehyung’s in there? He’s always with Kook.

I should go touch up my makeup.

You started to make your way to the bathroom when you collided with someone.

“I’m sorry,” you both said at the same time.

“Oh. Yah! It’s you! Hobi said you were in the kitchen?”

“Yeah I was but I came out to find you. You were supposed to be here an hour ago! You didn’t respond to any of your texts. I was worried about you.”

“Ah, shit. Sorry Kook, I was finishing up that stupid group project. That dumb bitch Amy didn’t do her part. Did I make you worry about noooonnnnaaaa?”

“Blech, you disgust me y/n. Anyways, we have to talk about the thing.”

“What thing?”

“Are you dumb?”

“Yes.”

“Goddamn it, y/n.”

Jungkook brought his voice down to a whisper.

“The Tae Thing.”

“Oh. That. Hahah we can just pretend I never texted you that it’s fine I know you and him are best friends and that would be weird and I totally get it and”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Huh?”

“Talking too much because you’re nervous.”

“I’m that obvious am I?”

“Yes.”

“WOW. What a supportive friend. I’m so thankful to have someone like you by my side.”

“Pshh, you don’t have to thank me y/n.”

“It was sarcasm, idiot.”

“Oh.”

“But for real. This is probably weird for you. He’s also one of your best friends.”

“Dude, are you kidding me? That would be fucking amazing. My two best friends start dating. They always force me to third wheel with them. Then they feel bad for me since I’m always third wheeling for them, so they set me up with a smoking hot babe for a double date. You see? I’ve thought this through.”

“You’re a crackhead. Anyways I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

“Oh okay, I’ll get Tae. Don’t worry, I’ll act natural. I know nothing about this.”

“Hahaha okay, you better. Bye, I’ll be back soon.”

You turned away from Jungkook and headed to the bathrooms.

You made sure to lock the door behind you.

So no frisky couples can kick me out of here.

Looking at yourself in the mirror could go one of three ways. Sometimes you thought you looked like a sultry, hot goddess. Other times, you thought you looked like Gollum. And for the most part, like today, you usually just thought you were average.

Your fingers skirted down to the hem of your black bodycon dress, tugged up, then folded.

Heck. If I don’t feel hot yet, might as well be a little more revealing.

Great.

Now your knee length dress was a party dress. Giving your hair a little ruffle, you checked yourself out.

You reached into your wallet and took out a tube of your favorite lipstick shade.

Haha, I knew this would come in handy. Self confidence here I come.

No one would have expected your favorite color was a classic bright red. It didn’t suit your personality at all. You weren’t a party girl. Frankly, no matter how much you wanted to pretend you were that hot girl at the party that all the girls were jealous of and all the guys drooled over, you knew that wasn’t you. You were the girl that worked too hard. The girl that studied a lot and wore hoodies all the time and took care of other party girls. You were the nice one, not the desirable one. But bright red made you feel like you were on top of the world, like you were a badass career woman who could take names and kick ass.

Stepping back, you gave yourself one last look through. Ruffled hair, smudged eyeliner, red lips, your little black dress, and strappy shoes.

It’s showtime.

You unlocked the door and strutted out of that bathroom with all of your confidence that immediately melted away the second you saw Kim Taehyung.

Your heart couldn’t help but skip a beat when you saw him. He was, quite frankly, ethereal. But unlike those other attractive guys, he wasn’t cocky. He didn’t expect anything from anyone. In fact, he was almost exactly the opposite, never talking about himself at all. Instead, he took care of everyone around him in his own special little way, joking around, flashing boxy smiles, and being serious when he needed to.

“Wahh, y/n you look great today, doesn’t she hyung,” quipped Jungkook excitedly, slapping Taehyung’s back.

Oh my god, Jeon Jungkook why would you ever say that?

“Oh hey Taehyung! How’s it going?”

Shit, I should’ve just said hi. Or what’s up? Or-

“I’m amazing y/n. And Jungkook’s right. You look pretty.”

There your heart went skipping beats again. You felt a slight blush come up onto your face.

“Ah haha thank you. It's hot here, let’s go get some cold punch or something. I’m out”

“Yeah let’s go get some drinks and get on the dance floor. We aren’t at a party to be wallflowers. Look at Yoongi over there.”

You and Tae both turned your heads to where he was pointing.

“Sure looks like he’s enjoying himself,” you said.

“Yeah, seriously,” agreed Taehyung. “You have no idea how much we had to bribe him to come to his own birthday party.”

Jungkook put his arm around your shoulders. “Well are you two done being jealous of Yoongi’s abilities yet? Cuz I’m thirsty.”

You looked over. “You’re always thirsty, Jungkook.”

“Ha ha very funny y/n. Lets just go.”

Jungkook grabbed you with one hand and Taehyung with the other and dragged both of you behind him.

You gave Tae a helpless look and shrugged. He smiled back.

Agh that cute boxy smile. Why am I like this?

“Hey, I’ll be back guys one second. I want to go put this clutch away so we can all go dance! Go hang with the other guys. I’ll be back in a minute or two.”

“Okay y/n! Come back fast!”

You hurried of the door and sat down on the sidewalk. A crescent moon hovered above your head.

You look so pretty glowing like that. I wish I could look like you. Why do I even like him? I wish these feelings would go away already. I’m too tired of debating on if I should confess or not. This is too hard.

The door creaked behind you.

“Aha, I knew you weren’t putting away your purse.”

“Jungkook. It’s too overwhelming.”

“Well, you see, that’s how you know it’s real y/n. I promise today will be a good night for you okay? I think you should just be more confident and love yourself more.

“But I’m like not nearly as attractive or cool as Tae is and like not on his level at all.”

I’m saying this objectively, not as your friend: you are freaking beautiful. Not like those girls all over Yoongi, Joon, and Hope right now. You’re beautiful in the most real way. Outside and inside. Just remember that and get back in there, my gawd, you’re wasting precious time sitting out here being existential.”

“Well, I was just going to say thank you for the pep talk but huh, you had to ruin it at the end didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Hahahaha.”

“See. I made you laugh. I win.”

“Goddamnit. OKAY.”

You stood up.

“I CAN WIN OVER HIS HEART RIGHT? LET’S GO BACK IN.”

You started to open the door. “Wait y/n. Go put away your purse clutch thingy. That’s what you said you were going to do. It’d be weird if you went in there with it.”

“Oh shit, you’re right. Thanks Kook.”

…

TAEHYUNG

“Where’d Jungkook go, Taehyung?”

“He said he went to the bathroom, but I think he went to chase after y/n.”

“Y/n? I told her to come join us! Where’d she go?”

“I would but for some reason I feel like she’s avoiding me and Kook knows what’s up. I’ll go ask him later. I hope she’s okay.”

“I’m sure she’s okay. Now look I don’t have time for petty girl drama. The hyungs are about to perform live. I need you to dance like a crazy hypeman with me.”

“If it’s Ddaeng, then you know I’m in Jimin.

“Ayy let’s go.”

…

Y/N

Entering back into the now hot and heavy atmosphere in the living room, you couldn’t help but nod your head along to the beat of the music. “Damn, they’re killing it. You sure this is just a hobby?” “I know right,” yelled back Jungkook over the music. “They’re insanely good. I keep telling them to find a company.”

“Wait Jungkook. I need a drink.”

“What?”

“A real drink to make me brave. I’m going to tell him. Like an alcoholic drink.”

“WHAT?”

“I mean I’ve liked him for like a year now. Might as well get rejected and let go.”

“What do you mean? You don’t drink alcohol. Is this real? You’re finally going to get laid tonight. YES!”

“EW. Jungkook, hell no. The point is, I’m too emotionally exhausted for this chasing game anymore. I’m just going to say it. And whatever happens will happen.”

“Shut up he’s going to say yes and I’m so excited! Let’s go get drunk!”

“Yes please. My nerves are going to jump out of my skin and run away at this point.”

Jungkook led you to the drinks. “Okay, there’s vodka, whiskey, or tequila. All three will do the job and get you some liquid courage, aka get you very drunk. Whiskey tastes the best in my opinion. Or you could go for the beer which is abit more light and you’ll still be sane the whole night.”

“What’s going to get me so drunk I won’t remember anything tomorrow? In case he rejects me, I’d rather never know it happened.”

“Here you are.”

Jungkook slid a shot glass towards you.

“What’s this one?”

“The vodka. Here I’ll take a few shots with you so you don’t feel alone. Ready?”

You picked up the tiny glass cup. It was slightly strange that something this small had the power to do so much good and bad. Mostly bad. You had never really heard a story that started with “So I got really drunk” that ended with “and we all lived happily ever after”.

Well, here goes nothing.

“3...2...1… GO!”

It burned more than you thought it would. You coughed.

“Why would people drink this stuff? It tastes like poison.”

“The same reason you’re drinking it right now. To get drunk.”

I guess that makes sense.

After a few shots, Jungkook stopped drinking.

“Hey, y/n. I feel woozy let’s s-stop. I think this is enough to feel brave.”

“What? Are you a lightweight or something? No! I need more.”

After a “few” more shots, Jungkook stopped you.

“Yah, are you crazy? You’re going to get alcohol poisoning and die if you keep going at this rate. Look at your face.”

You looked at your reflection in the glass.

Your face was turning bright red, just like your lipstick.

“That’s okay, I like red. And I don’t feel drunk. I’m pretty sure I’m sober. Whoa, I’m so cool. A heavyweight. A HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. Aren’t I cool Jungkook, Jungkookie, Kookie-pie?”

“Yep, you’re drunk.”

“No, I’m nooooottt. I’m soberrrr.”

“Who do you like y/n?”

“Kim Taehyung,” you replied without hesitating.

“And you’re going to confess to him today, before the night ends okay?”

“Yessir.”

“And you’re not going to throw up on him, or embarrass yourself.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Okay. You can do this.”

“I can doooo th-this!”

Your hand started to grab another shot glass.

“Oh my god, y/n. Stop drinking. You’re going to end up being blackout drunk and forget to confess.”

“But I’m still scared.”

“Y/n. Stop. Listen to me. I’ve gotten drunk plenty of times. Getting drunk will make you braver sure. But after a certain point, you’re going to lose yourself. So no more drinking! After all, alcohol isn’t comfort food!”

You deliberated that for a moment.

“I mean, I can’t really think right now, so I’m just going to listen to you. What next, Drinking Master Kook?”

“Next, we go get your man.”

…

Looking for Taehyung and the others, Jungkook easily weaved through the crowd that had seemingly doubled since 10 minutes ago. Following behind him, you tried to not bump into the tipsy girls with glasses that were sure to spill. Eventually, after a few minutes of blindly stumbling through the dark, you and Kook found them.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” yelled Hoseok.

“Y/n, it took you that long to put away your purse? Jungkook, jesus! That was one long bathroom break.”

Shit, he knows something’s up. Well, duh, to be honest. What did I expect? We’ve been gone for nearly an hour now.

“Sorry Tae, me and y/n just got some drinks to be more loose and carefree. She’s had a long day with project mates fucking her over”

“It’s fine, just help me with these hyungs. They’re drunk out of their minds.”

“I’m th-the leader. Don’t tell me what to do”

Namjoon hiccupped and pouted.

“I can do whatever I want.”

“See what I’m dealing with here?”

“Shit, sorry Tae. Look! I’ll make it up to you. I’ll call an Uber and take them home. You and y/n stay. I’ll take care of it.”

Oh my gosh he’s leaving us alone on purpose, isn’t he?

…

TAEHYUNG

He’s totally leaving us alone on purpose.

Jungkook was the only one that knew that Taehyung liked y/n. No one else. Not even the hyungs. It’s not like Jungkook was the best secret keeper. But he was Taehyung's best friend.

“Yeah, okay. Make sure the hyungs get home safely. Sorry, Jungkookie. And thank you!

I should use this opportunity and tell her today. What if she says no though? Oh my gosh, why didn’t I think this through before I told Jungkook to invite her. Shit. Fuck. What am I gonna do?

He shook his head.

No, let’s just do it. Be brave and just go for it. Yes. I’m going to ask her today.

I’m going to ask y/n to be my girlfriend.

…

Y/N

It had been a few minutes since Jungkook had left with the rest of the group. This was the time where things usually started to get awkward for you. But not tonight. Tonight, you were on top of the world. Or maybe you were just too drunk to feel mundane emotions such as awkwardness. Either way, tonight would be a turning point. You would either be insanely happy from now on or be insanely sad for a little while. You would get over it in the end of the day. Heck, anything could happen to you right now. But you would be okay. Because right now you were happy. You were almost euphoric moving your body to the rhythm with Taehyung. And that, in itself, was enough for you.

As the night went on, you and Taehyung started to get touchy. A playful pat on the shoulders. A flirty smile here and there. When the perfect sentimental songs came on, Taehyung could really handle it anymore.

“Will you dance with me y/n?”

You couldn’t believe it when you heard it. THE Kim Taehyung that all the preppy college girls lusted over, THE Kim Taehyung that all the guys wanted to be friends with purely to get girls to hang out with them, THE Kim Taehyung had just asked you to dance with him.

Have I died? Am I a ghost getting whatever I want in heaven?

“Oh. Okay.”

And together you danced the night away until he kissed you and you dated and lived happily ever after.

Atleast that’s what you dreamed of while your hand was in his. It’s what you were thinking about when his hand slowly drifted down from your shoulders and slipped around your waist, pulling you closer, until you were flush against his body. A blush crept up your neck as you looked into his eyes.

They were looking right back at you. “You’re turning red.”

You quickly looked away and put your head into his chest.

“I’m drunk.”

“Yes, y/n. I know.”

“Okay.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were being affected by me. Am I affecting you y/n?”

You stayed quiet.

His right hand drifted back up your body to lift our chin up, forcing you to make eye contact with him again.

“Am I affecting you yet?”

“No,” you whispered.

“You’re a but stubborn, aren’t you y/n? That’s okay.”

He leaned his head in until it was a few centimeters away from you. “I like stubborn. How about now?”

It took everything you had to shake your head back and forth.

“That’s okay y/n. Both you and I know that I am.”

And then he was kissing you.

A hundred thoughts went through your mind in that instant.

Wow. His lips are soft. So soft. And they taste like alcohol. If I drank a mango smoothie, would my lips taste like mango? I should drink honey lemon tea next time. Will there be a next time? Does this mean he likes me? Oh my god, was I so drunk that I kissed him? Am I throwing myself on him? WAIT. HOLY SHIT. KIM TAEHYUNG IS KISSING ME.

It hit you.

The man you sneaked looks at for the past year was kissing you.

Your breath hitched in your throat.

Wait. N-no!

You coughed into the kiss while trying and failing to recoil back as quickly as possible.

“Oh my god, s-sorry,” you sputtered. “I just… wasn’t expecting that.”

You turned around. “Oh. Uhhh..”

Taehyung’s eyes were wide open. The little corner of his lips was slightly turned up.

Shit. He’s laughing at me. This has gotta be the most embarrassing moment of my entire 24 years of living. I have to go rant about this to Jungkook later.

“Um, I need to leave. Sorry!” You turned back around and you ran out of that room as fast as you could. One foot in front of the other, you bounded all the way to your car.

“Shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT.”

You took out your phone and called Jungkook.

Pickuppickuppleaseohmygodpickup.

“Y/n?”

“JUNGKOOK! OH MY GOD. Please pick me up I’ll explain later.”

“Y/n, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. But holy crap, Taehyung kissed me.”

“HE WHAT?”

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

“Well, did you tell him?”

“What?”

“That you like him? I mean clearly he likes you!”

“Well… no there’s more to the story. Can you just come pick me up? I’m drunk.”

“I would. But I can’t right now. These hyungs are still drunk off their ass and acting like monkeys in the dorm.”

“Please?”

“They’re crazy right now y/n. Take a cab! Come over, we can talk about it.”

“But Tae lives in your dorm.”

“Yeah. But I have my own room. You can stay over.”

“I don’t know.”

“Y/n, come on,” he whined. “I’ve missed you. You’re always studying. Come over.”

“Fine. I’ll get a cab. Ughhh kill me. As if this could get any worse.”

“I’m sure it’s all going to be okay. We should celebrate! He kissed you! YAY! BE HAPPY Y/N.”

“OKAY! I’m leaving. Bye!” “Bye!”

Silence took over. The streetlight cast a dim glow on the vacant road. A sigh escaped you.

I guess he’s right. I mean. This is what I was hoping for right?

Your mind flashed back to the incident.

But I really fucked it up this time. Didn’t you, y/n? I wonder if he knew that I was an amateur.

You shook your head in frustration.

Hey, I gotta look at the positives though. Frankly, this day couldn’t get any more embarrassing. Wait...

Footsteps broke the silence.

“Y/n, oh my gosh. Here you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

Drops of sweat rolled down Taehyung’s forehead. His sleeve wiped his face as he bend down with his arm on his knee. After panting for a few seconds while you stared at him in shock, he rose up. “You’re drunk. I’m not. And cabs don’t run at this time.”

“Ah, Jungkook will pick me up! Don’t worry!”

“I already called him. He said you were going to come over to our frat.”

“Oh.”

He smiled.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it. I promise, I’m not a horrible person who’ll hate you now. If you’re thinking something along those lines, you should forget it. I… I still have a lot to say to you. But for now, I’ll give you a ride. I didn’t drunk any alcohol.”

“Ah, that’s okay! I’ll just walk to my dorm room! I’ll talk to Jungkook tomorrow.”

You started to turn around when you felt his hand clasp around yours.

“Please.”

His eyes were a drug.

They were warm and beckoning.

They were safe and comfortable.

They were…

“Okay.”

You turned around to face him.

“So where’s your car?”

…

YOONGI

“Goddamnit Jin. Is this payback for that one time I gave you acrylic stands of myself?”

“I know how to spell stand. S T A N D. Stand. P I Z Z A. Pizza. P A S T A. Pasta. I’m smart!”

“You’re a dumbass, Jin.”

“Shut up, Jungkook. I’m not the one who got a 3 on my english exam. Did you like your gift Yoongs? Yoongi? Y to the G?”

“Of course not! Here I am expecting Gucci thermal underwear and you get me your acrylic stands. I can get those for free. I’m in the same band as you idiot.”

“You could have at least pretended to like it. I would have done that. Why are you so mean to meeee?”

“Oh, stop pouting Jin. I’ll save it as a good memory of our collective dumbassery. Anyways, Jimin, it’s your turn. What did you get your beloved hyung?”

“Um… I don’t know if you’ll like it or not. But I’m giving you my heart.”

“Huh? I think you mean thermal Gucci underwear.”

“Sorry, I’m poor.”

“Hmmmmm… well. Your heart shall have to do. I accept. Thank you Park Jimin.”

“wHat THe FucK, YoONgs?”

“What?”

“Why does HE get a free pass? Atleast I actually gave you something!”

“Moving…

“but-”

“On. Namjoon, it’s yo- Oh hi Taehyung!”

…

Y/N

“Oh hi Taehyung! Y/n, you’re here too! Come. Join us! Have a seat.”

You could feel Jungkook staring at you. You felt a blush starting to climb up your neck.

“Hey, you must be drunk,” shouted Namjoon. “You’re beet red like the rest of us. What are you y/n? A lightweight? I’m a heavyweight! Let’s fight. SHOTS!”

“Y/n need’s rest right now,” butted in Jungkook. “As your best friend, I declare you to go up to my room and sleep. I’ll take the couch don’t worry! Tae go in there first and make sure it isn’t like dirty or anything.”

He looked over at you and winked.

Wow, I’m going to beat this kid up later.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. One sec y/n. Let me give Yoongi his birthday present. Then I’ll get Jungkook’s. You can go up to my room for a few minutes. It’s two down from Jungkook's to the right. I’ll call you down!”

“Okay. Thanks Tae.”

“My pleasure.”

You walked past the red plastic cups, up the stairs, and around very passed out Hobi to Jungkook’s room.

Two to the right. Ah.

After a few seconds of blindly staring, you opened the door.

The lamp cloaked the room in a muted purple. Polaroids littered the wall directly in front of you: pictures of the boys, landscapes, old stores, parties, anything and everything one could think of. Some had words written on the blank space at the bottom. Other’s were empty. Cute thumbtacks pinned galaxy themed letter paper in the empty space. A few movie posters were placed on the other walls, along with beautiful paintings that you couldn’t quite decipher. A bookshelf, a bed, a desk space and a rug made the the room feel whole.

So this is Kim Taehyung's room.

It was a visual representation of his mind. And it was absolutely beautiful.

Your fingers trailed across the pictures as you looked around his room until you got to the window. The sill had something etched on it with what probably was a knife. Upon closer inspection, you could see what it said:

Dreams grow here.

What a pretty thought.

Outside the window, a part of the roof jutted out, substituting as a makeshift terrace. You could see a green beanbag out there among a few other belongings.

I wonder what else is out there in Taehyung’s dream world.

Without thinking, your fingers grasped the bottom of the window pane and pulled. A gust of wind billowed the curtains. The breeze felt nice on your face.

He isn’t here yet, and it’s probably going to take him a while to clean Jungkook’s room. That kid is messy as fuck. I’m burning up in here and I’ll get back in a minute or two. So it’s fine. Yup. It’s fine.

You had hoisted one foot out and then ducked your head under the window to the other side when you heard the dorm door creak open.

…

TAEHYUNG

Making his way out of Jungkook’s room, Taehyung headed down the hallway two doors down, making sure to stop and check his hair on the mirror hanging off of Jin’s door.

“I can’t believe I’m actually using this stupid thing,” Tae muttered to himself. His mind went back to when Jin bought this. “What? I need to be able to see my beauty everytime I walk into my room, so I can fall in love with myself more!” Taehyung giggled softly.

That hyung..

Now Taehyung stood in front of his own door.

Should I knock or something? Is that what I’m supposed to do? But what if she’s sleeping and I wake her up. I did take a while..

Deciding to just go in, he pushed open the door.

There, directly ahead of him, was y/n. She was halfway out of the window, with her back arched and her already short dress hiked up, exposing her upper thighs .

Taehyung bit his lip, feeling his face go on fire.

“Oh shit! Hi Taehyung! Hold on.”

Y/n turned her back, maneuvering herself so she could see Tae.

Fuck.

From his angle, Taehyung could see all of y/n’s curves on her petite frame. He had been pretty exhausted after the party and dealing with the boys, but he definitely wasn’t tired anymore.

“Can we go out here for a second? It’s kind of hot inside.”

Taehyung cleared his throat.

“S-sure. Yeah.”

Taehyung slipped out after y/n.

“I don’t really bring people up here much. It’s like my place to think. Clear my mind, ya know?”

“Yeah, I get that. I wish I had a place like this. It’s gorgeous out here.”

“Sit here”

Taehyung sat on the beanbag next to y/n and let the sound of wind take over as you both stared up at the stars.

…

Y/N

“I have drinks in the mini fridge, if you want.”

“YOU HAVE A MINI FRIDGE OUT HERE? THAT’S SO COOL.”

“Yeah! What do you want? I have beer, tea, and soda.”

“I’ll take some beer, please.”

I’m going to need the bravery.

“Are you sure? You were pretty drunk before.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “That car ride was so awkward that I became sober.”

“It’s not my fault my radio doesn’t work okay?”

You both laughed.

“So about before-”

“Can you let me get drunk before we talk about it? I have a lot I want to say too.”

“Yeah, I’ll drink with you. Cheers.”

The wind took over again as you downed the bottle.

“Okay.”

“Joon was right. You’re a lightweight.”

“Hey! I was already half drunk before before okay? So this doesn’t count. Actually nothing I say from here on out counts if you don’t want it to.”

A rush of anxiousness flipped your stomach. You took a deep breath.

“I like you! I know you have girls that look like models who like you and I know you probably don’t like me back, and I know my world’s going to end when you reject me but I couldn’t hold i-”

“I like you too.”

“-t back any more and what?”

Didhejustsayhelikedmeohmygodwhatiwasntexpectingthiswhatdoidonow?

“I like you too.”

Imdrunkrightnowandthisisn’trealandimprobablyhallucinatingshitmymomtoldmethiswouldhappen.

“What?”

“Y/n. Come on! I kissed you for a reason. What did you think that was?”

“A drunk accidental makeout session that you would regret tomorrow.”

“Y/n. I’ve liked you ever since we started hanging out with Kook together. I thought he already told you since you guys are best friends.”

Euphoria was the closest thing to what you felt. Euphoria, along with a constant feeling of wanting to throw up, of course.

“Wait. He didn’t tell me. Wait did he tell you that I liked you?”

“No.”

“That little shit,” both of you exclaimed together.

“Damn. Who knew he was such a good secret keeper?”

“He could have told us before though,” grumbled Taehyung, pouting. “I could have done this sooner.”

“Done wha-”

Suddenly, you were interrupted my his lips crashing onto yours. Your eyes opened wide for a second, but fluttered shut as his hands cupped the nape of your neck. “You….” You relaxed your body as his lips became more gentle. Leaning forward, Taehyung pressed his body against yours, deepening the kiss. “...are so….” His hands went down to your wrists. Before you knew it, he had you pinned down under him. His eyes roamed all over you hungrily. “...fucking gorgeous….”

For a quick moment, his face softened. “You’re art. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Just kiss me, you idiot.”

You lifted your lips up to his.

He broke it.

“But….”

“Climb back through that window.”

“Huh?” “Go to the damn bed y/n.”

“Has anyone told you that you that you’re really hot when you’re horny?”

“Hahah look who’s getting confident.”

“Listen about that first kiss, I was really unprepared and like-”

“Do I look like I care about the first kiss right now y/n?”

“Noted.”

You put one of your legs through the window. You heard a moan behind you.

You turned around. “What?”

“Oh my fucking god, I need you right now.”

“Well then, I’m going to take my time.”

Taehyung groaned. “Why are you doing this to me?”

You felt a knot start to form in your stomach.

Hurrying through the window, you took off your heels and fell backwards onto the bed.

Taehyung scrambled through the window, never taking his gaze off of you.

“You’re finally mine.”

…

Sunlight filtered through the curtains, covering you in a white haze. Feeling groggy, you carefully opened your eyes. Your head was pounding.

God, I must have a lot to drink yesterday night.

Lifting your head up, you rapidly blinked.

This isn’t my room. Oh wait. Bunny poster. It’s Kooks. Phew.

“Wakey wakey, sunshine!”

“Jungkook! Oh god bless. For a second, I got scared I hooked up with someone or something.”

Jungkook smiled. “Nothing of the sort. You just stayed over in my room.”

“Is she awake yet?”

Taehyung peeked into the room as you lifted the covers above your head. “What the heck is he doing here? Pretend I’m asleep,” you whispered to Jungkook.

“I can hear you y/n. And what do you mean what am I doing here? Don’t you remember?”

“Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have drunk alcohol. What did I do now? Wait, let me think for a second. The last thing I remember is….”

“Joon was right. You’re a lightweight.”

“I like you too.”

“That little shit!”

You looked over to Jungkook, with your mouth agape. “You lied to me.”

Jungkook laughed. “I told you you’d end up sleeping with him.”

“Oh my god, Tae get out of here.”

“Not a chance, y/n.”

“Jungkook, my god. You were playing both of us, I swear to god.”

“Hey hey hey. I’m the one that got you guys together okay? If I hadn’t left you two alone, you’d have never done it. Gosh, both of you were always whining so much about how much you liked each other.”

You blushed. Taehyung scratched the back of his neck. “Yah, maknae. Don’t forget. I’m older than you.”

“Anyways, now it’s your turn. Set me up on a blind date with one of your hot friends. Thank you! Oh, also, breakfast is ready. Everyone in this frat is a drunk mess other than me and hyung. I’m going to leave you two alone now. Have a heart to heart or do whatever you want, but please, for god’s sakes, don’t fuck on my bed.”

“JUNGKOOK,” you and Taehyung both shouted at the same time.

“Get out of here, you punk,” said Tae, jokingly swatting at him.

The door clicked shut behind him.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How are you, y/n? You feel okay?”

“What do you think?”

“I bought you some aspirin and water.”

You laughed. “Thank you.”

You looked at each other for a few seconds. “You don’t-”

“Will you-”

“Hahah, you can go first,” Taehyung said.

“You don’t regret last night? Everything that happened?”

“Never.”

A bright smile lit up your face. “Your turn.”

“Y/n. Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Say yes,” came a muffled response from out of the door.

“JUNGKOOK!”

131 notes · View notes

ticklikeabomb · 6 years ago

Text

The Marvel Parody - Chapter 13

Pairing (in the futur) : Chris Evans x Plus Size!Reader

Warnings : Language ; spelling mistakes ; mention of depressed state ; angsty?

Word Count : 2.032

Author’s Note : Reader’s a bit down in the beginning of the chapter, cause I’ve been filling like shit lately. So again projecting myself.

Italic = Reader’s or Chris thoughts

You were having a rough time lately. Between insomnia and stress, you would end up your day by going back to your trailer, avoiding as many interaction as possible. Some of the actors were started to feel concerned but you told them that everything was fine and that you were just tired. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the complete truth. Your inner voice kept you awake ‘Can you do this? Are you tough enough to deal for what’s coming next? Are people gonna like it or are they going to reject you of the franchise? Are they gonna take your character seriously and not underestimate you just because you’re overweight?’ All those questions were haunting your mind. And then, there was Chris. You were confused by his behavior. Sometimes he would say, do or look at you a certain way. Not in a friendly way but as something more, almost romantically. ‘Are you overthinking this? He’s friendly with everyone on set. Sometimes it looks like he’s flirting but he would do that with other females on set.’ Once when you were heading to the dressing room, you caught him flirting with the designer. ‘Of course, he likes her. She’s beautiful and kind.’, you thought. It’s not that you weren’t happy with the way you looked, you were dealing with it for the past 2 years. Trying to accept yourself as you are and even enjoying it, but you couldn’t deny that sometimes it was hard. You would feel self-conscious especially when you’re surrounded by those gorgeous girls. You would hide your pain with smiles, humour and sarcasm but Sebastian wasn’t stupid and could see right through you.

He followed you to your trailer and confronted you, « What’s wrong? » « Nothing, I’m fine. » « Y/N don’t lie to me. I know you’re hiding something. I can feel it », he insists. « I don’t know what you’re talking about. » He sighed « Look, you’re not alone. You can talk to us, to me. I know we only know each other for a couple of months but you don’t have to deal with whatever is bothering you, alone. You’re part of the family and we stick together no matter what. » You were fighting so hard to not let your facade crack but you couldn’t take it anymore and burst out in tears. He immediately hugged you « Shh, shh, it’s ok. Let it out. I’ve got you. » You couldn’t stop. All the frustration of these past months, all your hidden emotions lashed out in only a few seconds. « I…I’m not good enough for this, for anyone. », you said. « Why are you saying that? », he asked with a calm but firm voice. « I don’t know. I just feel like shit, like a failure. »

He cupped your teary face, « Listen to me carefully. You’re not a failure ! You are good enough ! You have no idea how many people you’re inspiring, how many you will inspire. You are fierce. You have no idea how much you inspire me and I’m not the only one here thinking the same. You bring so much to the team and you’re so oblivious about it. You’ve been doing such a great job and it’s your first time acting. Don’t be so hard on yourself », he said looking you in the eyes. He wiped out the tears that were still falling and hugged you again, this time tighter. « Thank you so much Seba. You’re an amazing person and friend, never forget that. » You could feel him smiling. « I wouldn’t be able doing anything without all of you », you said. « Nonsense. Come on, let’s order some food and watch a movie. What do you say? » You nodded.

After ordering the food and choosing the movie, Mackie, Scarlet, Chris, Elisabeth and Tom joined you. The actors noticed that something was off because you practically hadn’t touched your plate and because you weren’t paying much attention to the movie, but they decided to not push you. Once the movie over you said goodnight and went back to your trailer.

Cast POV

Mackie broke the awkward silence that settled down for a couple minutes. « What’s been going on with her? I mean is it only me or did you guys noticed that she’s been more reserved than usual these last days. » They all nodded. Sebastian sighed, not knowing if he should tell them about what happened earlier or not. « Does anyone know why? », asked Elisabeth. « She told me a few days ago that she was sad that the shooting is almost over. She’s scarred that we’ll loose track after the press tour », revealed Tom. « Sure we will work on other projects but we’ll always be here for each other », commented Mackie. « That’s what I told her », replied Tom. During this exchange, Sebastian was going through the pros and cons and decided to tell them. « She thinks she’s not good enough for this or for anybody », said the Romanian sadly. « WHAT? Why would she think that? Did anyone said something? That’s ridiculous », said Chris shocked. They all turned to Sebastian dumbfounded. « I think it’s in her head and NO, no one said anything, Chris ». The last part came out harsher than he thought. Chris looked at him surprised by his friend’s tone. Seb was convinced that Chris’s flirting with the designer was part of your meltdown and he was getting annoyed seeing his friend act like a jerk, instead of manning-up and confess his feelings to you. Tom caught Seb’s frustration because he knew what he was implying by ‘No one said anything, Chris’. The youngest was the only one beside Seb that knew about the whole story - the flirtation, the teasing, the mixed signals between you two, but no action. Scarlet was eying the situation carefully and immediately caught on what was the problem. « Did she said anything else Seb? » The actor dropped his head and whispered « That she feels like shit. » Scarlet turned to Elizabeth and gave a look which she nodded. « Alright. Seb text Sarah we need her. We’re having a ladies night. »

Completely lost and hurt that you didn’t tell him anything and went to Sebastian instead, Chris turned to Mackie who just shrugged. ‘Wow, she rather go to Seb than me. It’s clear now, she doesn’t care about me the way I thought. She tricked me good’, he told himself.

It was the second day off that the production gave you since you started shooting. You were woken up by knocks on your door. ‘What the fuck?’ You walked your tired self to the door and opened it. « Sarah?!!! », you exclaimed wide eyed. « Surprise », she exclaimed. « What are you doing here? », you asked while hugging her. « That’s on us. » You turned to the voice and saw Seb, Scarlet and Elizabeth grinning. « Come on, get dressed. We’re going out », said Scarlet smirking. Apparently, they had the whole day planned. We stopped at a small restaurant for lunch and after that we headed to the shopping center.

Your friends saw you smile, something that was rare these days. « Let’s go see that store over there », indicated Elizabeth. You were looking at the clothes and spotted a gorgeous black leather dress. « Why don’t you try it on? », asked Scarlet. « Oh, no. I’m sure they don’t have my size and even if they did it will not look good on me. » « Try it. Who knows, you might be wrong », continued the blond. Forced by the girls you headed to the changing room and put it on. « Show us », shouted Sarah. You stepped out in the dress that surprisingly, fitted. « Uhhhh, sexy. See told you you were wrong, it looks amazing on you », said Scarlet. « Really? » You thought that since it was leather like tissue that it would feel uncomfortable but it didn’t. « How do you feel in it? », asked Lizzie ( Elizabeth). « I feel great actually », you replied smiling. « I just hope it’s not too much. » « Hell no it’s not and I mean if you don’t get finally a reaction from Chris with that dress by now, forget about him », continued Sarah laughing. You were about to interject but Scarlet cut you « You know, you should tell him about your feelings. I knooow, you don’t want to mess up your friendship but sometimes you just gotta try. You might be surprised. » « Yeah, you should go for it. » You thought about it and why not. Sure it could get awkward if the feelings are not mutual but not telling him either was killing you. « Alright, I’ll try to talk with him tomorrow ». They all cheered. « Thank god, finally. The situation is getting to everyone’s nerves », exclaimed Scarlet.

The Next Day aka final day of shooting

You woke up excited because you finally decided to hear your friends’s advices and confess your feelings to Chris. That excitement was mixed with fear of rejection and sadness because the shooting was ending.

You headed towards his trailer. « Hey, how are you? », you said happily. « Fine », he replied coldly. You frowned because it wasn’t like him to talk like that but you put it under stress. « Since the next scene is about our characters, do you want to go over the lines with me? » He looked at you with a bitter look. « Sorry, I got better things to do. » You were taken aback by his hostility. « You have something more important to do than going over the lines? », you replied sarcastically. « You know, not everything is about you. » « Excuse me? », your smile vanished. « You heard me. Why don’t you stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine. You will not fool me anymore », he exclaimed harshly. « What the hell are you talking about? Did I say something or do something that you didn’t like? I don’t get why you acting like this. » He laughed dryly. « Don’t play dumb, flirting with everyone, with Holland and Seb.» You were shocked at his words. « You know, you shouldn’t hit on a guy that’s already taken, especially if he’s dating your best friend », he finished. You were boiling with rage. ‘How dare he imply that I’m hitting on Seb ! ’. « Fuck you, Evans », you spat angrily. You walked out, fist clenched and fuming. During your fight, some people gathered around both of you, including Scarlet and Mackie that were heading your way. Scarlet just looked back at Chris and shook her head.

Two hours later you had to go shoot the famous scene with him. When you arrived, Chris was already there talking with the directors. « Ah Y/N. So I was saying to Chris that for this scene you’ll have to be hostile towards each other. It’s supposed to be a confrontation so give it all », they said. « It shouldn’t be too difficult », you replied. They eyed Chris who had a blank expression. « And Action », they yelled. You could sense that his outburst was not only him as Steve Rogers but also him as Chris Evans. You confronted him with the same rage, replaying his words in your head and exploded. You lost your compusure and slapped him hard in the face, something that was absolutely not in the script. « Cut », the directors yelled. They came your way « Wow, that was intense. Good job guys. You nailed it. » You were looking at your feet not being able to face anyone, especially not a fuming Evans.

Once they announced that you all made it and that the shooting was wrapped, everyone clapped. You managed to sneak out of set and headed to your trailer and once the door was closed you collapsed against it, crying. It was defineltely not the way you imagined your last day of shooting was going to be like.

Let’s say that the word traveled as fast as the fake rumor on the ‘Easy A’ movie. Everyone was talking about the fight between you two. « She did what? », asked RDJ shocked. « Apparently she slapped him and it wasn’t scripted », answered Jeremy. « Damn », continued RDJ. « She had her reason », interjected Scarlet. They all looked at her, curiousity in their eyes. « Tell us everything », commented Hemsworth. The actress rolled her eyes before starting explaining the whole thing.

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*gifs not mine, credit to owners*

#marvel #mcu #chris evans #plus size reader #chris evans x plus size reader #plus size #Sebastian Stan #scarlet johannson #anthony mackie #tom holland #russo brothers #jeremy renner #chris hemsworth #fanfiction #elisabeth olsen #robert downey jr #reader

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