#i would still love clint if he were a worm

[mastcrmarksman]

Wormify your muse (picrew)

I stole this from the dash because I had to do it. Presents worm Clint to everyone.

Now tagging because I want to see the worms: @overclocks , @pympartic , @pompedia (jan & anyone else), @fatedvoyage (your marvel boys), @danversiism , @darehearts , @prcspcr , @biitchcakes

[aurumacadicus]

Rest assured this is Peter’s fault.

--

“Steve,” Tony asked, leaning over the back of the couch. “Would you still love me if I were a worm?”

“Obviously,” Steve scoffed. “But please don’t get turned into a worm because I WILL stress out over your well-being.” He paused, looking up from his book. “Oh my god. Should I be looking up worm care?”

“No,” Tony tried hurriedly.

“Loki could turn you into a worm,” Steve lamented, dropping his book and burying his hands in his hair. “I don’t know if I can take care of you. I don’t know anything about worms except they live in dirt. Do they even have dirt in Manhattan?”

“Of course we have dirt, what,” Tony began. “Steve, Loki isn’t going to turn me into a worm.”

Steve looked up at him, wounded. “You don’t know that.”

“It’s just something kids ask their significant others, Steve, don’t worry about it,” Tony assured him. “I’m not turning into a worm.” He looked over where Thor and Clint were playing video games. “Thor, tell Steve your brother isn’t going to turn me into a worm.”

“Loki despises insects. He’d think it funnier to turn you into a mouse,” Thor said immediately.

Tony turned to smile at Steve, reassured. “See?”

“I have to learn mouse care?” Steve asked, voice cracking.

“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Tony realized as Steve began frantically looking up facts about mice.

[fanficshiddles]

The Call Of Fate, Chapter 2

Jade went to join the Avengers for dinner, once she had calmed down after having another little meltdown at everything that had happened.

When she walked into the room to join them, she laughed internally when she looked at Loki, just knowing how old he was. She couldn’t really believe it.

She ended up sitting next to Natasha and Steve at the table, Loki was directly opposite her and gave her a wink when she sat down. She just raised an eyebrow at him in return.

‘Is everything ok with your room?’ Tony asked as Bruce dished up dinner.

‘Yeah, it’s really nice. Thanks.’ Jade smiled at him.

Dinner was Bruce’s home-made macaroni. Everyone started tucking in straight away. Jade was a few mouthfuls in when Vision suddenly asked a question.

‘Do you have any allergies we should know about?’

Jade continued eating while she answered. ‘Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant.’

Everyone froze and stared at her. And it was Loki’s turn to raise an eyebrow at her.

‘Stop eating that then!’ Steve cried out.

‘Ah it’s fine. Just open the windows later.’ Jade said as she took another forkful, making Loki snigger under his breath.

Jade looked around the table, noting them all staring at her still. ‘I’m just kidding… No allergies! Do you really think I wouldn’t know about all the dairy that goes into macaroni if I was lactose intolerant anyway? I’m not stupid.’

Thor laughed and so did Tony. Bruce just shook his head.

‘We don’t need another annoying prankster, please don’t be another Loki.’ Clint groaned.

‘God we definitely do not need another Loki.’ Wanda groaned.

‘I do not see what the problem would be with having another me.’ Loki said as he glared at Wanda.

She glared back at him. ‘I am not even going to give that a response.’

Wanda’s macaroni suddenly turned into heaps of little worms that started wriggling around in her bowl, trying to get out.

‘LOKI!’ She screamed at him as she sat back in shock.

He flicked his hand and they disappeared, her macaroni returning. She pushed the bowl away from her. ‘I can’t even look at that now.’ She got up and stormed off into the kitchen to get something else.

‘Loki, that was mean.’ Thor scolded his brother.

‘Would you rather I did it to yours?’ Loki offered.

‘It would take more than measly worms to put me off Bruce’s delicious macaroni.’ Thor laughed.

‘Is it always like this here?’ Jade asked Natasha quietly while the rest continued some bickering.

Jade had thought that the heroes would all be quite snobby, keep to themselves. But it seemed she was wrong.

‘Yep, ‘fraid so.’ Natasha nodded.

Jade looked around the table with the biggest smile. ‘Love it.’

Perhaps her time here wouldn’t be so bad after all.

-

The first night at the Avengers base, Jade didn’t sleep well. Everything was racing through her mind, about her parents and that she was royalty. That she was being forced to marry a man she had never even met before. What if he was an ugly ogre? Heck, she could deal with ugly as long as he was nice. But she had no idea what he was like.

When morning finally came, she showered and went for a walk around the base, keeping within the borders so she wouldn’t have to get followed again. Not that she had minded Loki fetching her, she quite liked him, probably the most out of them all so far.

In the distance, Clint was in the training field with Tony, Steve and Natasha. She went over and watched them for a little while, she couldn’t deny they were impressive with what they could do. And the world was safer thanks to them.

‘Not making another run for it, are we?’ Came a familiar voice from behind her.

She turned around and smiled up at Loki. ‘No, not today. I might schedule you in for tomorrow at noon though.’

Loki chuckled lightly and stepped next to her. ‘How are you settling in?’

‘Weirdly, pretty well. Didn’t sleep great, but apart from that.’ Jade shrugged.

‘Thought you’d like to know, Natasha has been in touch with a lawyer and she’s going to come visit in a couple of weeks to go over everything, see if there’s anything that can be done to get you back home.’

‘Bloody hell, that was quick. It would be great if something can be done to stop the wedding.’ Jade felt some relief at the thought of not having to go through with it, maybe in a few months she’d be back home where she belonged.

‘That’s one thing that can’t be faulted about Natasha, she doesn’t hang about when something important needs to be done.’ Loki said.

Jade and Loki watched the others train for a bit, then they headed inside.

‘Hey, is there anywhere I can play my bass and sing without disturbing people?’ Jade asked Loki.

‘Why would you care about disturbing people, isn’t that the best part about playing a loud instrument?’ Loki grinned.

‘Well, in a way. But I don’t want to get on the wrong side of anyone. Not yet, anyway.’

‘Are you any good?’

Jade looked offended and dramatically put her hand over her heart. ‘Am I good? Can’t believe you’re asking me that. Our band is starting to rise pretty rapidly, we even have a headlining slot at a local music festival that’s ten thousand capacity this summer…’ Jade said proudly but then her face dropped and her stomach sank. ‘Shit. Well, we did. Or I guess, they do. They can probably manage without me anyway. I just do backing vocals and bass, they’ll easily find someone to fill my place, I guess.’ She said sadly.

‘I’m sure you will be there for the festival. Summer is months away, plenty of time to get this mess all sorted out.’ Loki said softly, seeing how hurt she was. ‘There is the indoor training hall, it’s pretty soundproof. Considering what we use it for. You can practice in there.’  

‘That sounds perfect.’

Jade was delighted to have somewhere to play, it was her escape, a way to let all of her emotions out. She had been playing for a good while, really getting into some songs and singing along too. She never noticed Loki in the corner, watching and listening to her intently. He was surprised how good she was, she certainly hadn’t been lying about it.

He didn’t want to intrude on her practice, so he just vanished instead of making himself known to her.

-

Though over the following week, Loki kept an eye out and whenever he saw Jade heading to the training hall with her bass, he would sneak inside to watch her practice. But he still never said anything to her, just kept it a secret.

Jade had settled in pretty well to the Avengers base. She liked them all, they made her welcome. She did have a soft spot for Loki, she liked his mischievousness and how he annoyed the others. She often gave him a bit of cheek but got the same right back.

One morning, Jade had joined the heroes for breakfast but was pretty quiet and barely touched her food. When she disappeared rather swiftly, some of the team was concerned.

‘Jade seems rather quiet this morning.’ Clint commented.

‘She’s going to meet the prince for the first time, the one she has to marry.’ Natasha said.

‘Oh.’ Was all Clint said in response.

‘I really feel for her, being forced into a marriage. I hope he’s a decent enough guy at least.’ Steve said.

‘I’m sure we will find out soon enough.’ Loki muttered. He felt really bad for her too.

-

Later in the day, Jade returned from her first meeting with the prince, Arthur. She had been flown out in one of SHIELD’s jets to meet him.

Jade didn’t speak to anyone as she rushed straight to her room, Loki didn’t even get a chance to say hi as she flew past him in a blur.

It wasn’t long before he saw her heading to the training hall with her bass. So he went to watch her again. This time, he felt his heart sinking for her. She had tears streaming down her face as she played and sang her heart out, letting everything out.

At dinner time, she didn’t appear. So Loki went to her room to check on her.

It took her a few minutes before she answered.

‘Oh, hi Loki.’ She didn’t even fake a smile.

‘It didn’t go well then?’ Loki asked softly.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She said stiffly.

Loki nodded in understanding. ‘Are you coming for dinner? Stark has gone fancy and bought us all some expensive steaks. They’re really good.’

‘I’m not really hungry. You can have mine.’ Jade said, giving him a very forced small smile.

‘Natasha has said that the lawyer is coming next Tuesday to meet with you… There might be some hope yet. We will think of something.’ Loki said as he reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

He saw a slight glimmer of hope in her eyes.

‘I guess I could go some steak.’ Jade shrugged.

Loki smiled. ‘Come on then, before Thor eats ours.’

Jade went with Loki to join the others.

‘Hey, how did’ Steve was cut off as Loki glared at him and shook his head. So the team all quickly got the memo and didn’t mention the prince.

Jade relaxed again pretty quickly as she chatted with the team and laughed at their typical antics. She was able to forget… For a little while.

[rhodestoruin]

one single thread of gold | warhawk

@justlikethenamesays

canon-typical triggers, brief NSFW content

The saying that time healed all things was absolute bullshit. Some things, time made infinitely worse. Secrets were on that list, and there was proof of that in the scattered wreckage of the Avengers. The fear that came with time, the silence, that all got worse. If it hadn't been for Natasha, he wasn't sure how he would have made it through the wreckage of it all, piecing together a life for himself in London with a giant hole in the center of it. He couldn't fill it, no matter how he tried, how close Nat stayed. She couldn't fill that particular hole, just like he couldn't fill hers.

When she had told him she was finally going to see Sam, he was happy for her, encouraging. There was no reason Sam wouldn't listen to her, she just had to actually talk. She didn't pick a man that would put her in second place to someone else. He had done it, knowingly, and never once regretted his choice. Even when they'd stood on opposite sides, James Rhodes never fell on his list of regrets.

In their hunting for a way out, their quiet tabs on the others, he had known Rhodey was here, was with Stark. He hadn't expected anything else. Choosing to place himself on the opposite side from the two people who meant the most in the world to him hadn't been an easy choice. But he had known, from the moment the line had been drawn, where Rhodey would stand. Natasha hadn't surprised him at any point, and they both knew that.

He tried to stay away, not to torture himself with could-have-beens. He made sure he was safe, unharmed and tried so very hard not to give in to that deep well of wanting that no longer had a safe home. One thing Clint Barton never left, though, was loose ends. So he set pen to paper and wrapped it around a brilliant purple arrow shaft. He'd left that arrow embedded where he knew Rhodey would find it, because there were some people in the world that were never meant to just be left in the past. Rhodey, I hope that you're doing well, that you and StarkTony are finding something like peace. You both deserve that, after all you've both given and done for the people around you. I always knew that I would come second in your life if you had to make a choose. I never regretted choosing you anyway. I still don't.

I understand your choice, I always have. No answer is an answer, and I will understand if it's yours. I miss you, Rhodey. I would like to see that you're okay, and I will be here until 5pm today if you choose to come. map attached Always, Clint

He hated himself for the weakness, doubt creeping in as he sat on a purple blanket in the park. He knew better than to hope. Hope and love were for children, or had been for a long time before Rhodey had wormed his way into the cracks of his heart. Friends first, he hadn't even wanted to fight the way he felt. Even after everything, he still didn't want to. The pain reminded him of everything good he'd had, and he wouldn't give that up for anything.

--

Peace wasn’t exactly what Rhodey was finding in London. But he’d never expected to. It was ironic that he’d been on the side who'd chosen the law and still found himself trapped. Maybe not on something as confining as The Raft, but no less a prison, at least as much in his own mind as physical. Knowing their friends were there but he wasn’t allowed to see them was a constant, low-level ache. Knowing Clint was too was a deeper hurt. He told himself it was exactly what he deserved.

It should have been easier having Tony there, but Rhodey didn't have any sympathy left over for his best friend's pain. Not after he’d tried everything he could think of including begging to keep him from starting a war with their friends. It had all vanished the moment Tony forced him to choose a side. Everyone who knew him knew he'd always pick Tony. Rhodey knew it too. That loyalty ran too deep for anything else, but it was the first time he'd ever felt damned for it.

He understood Tony's feelings about it, of course he did, but the rest--the Sokovia Accords, the secret identities--it wasn’t that simple, and he’d argued alongside Bruce for a more moderate approach. He knew it had been the wrong call. He’d known it at the time. Loyalty wouldn't let him make a different one, but it had shifted into something else since then. For the first time in his life, he was deeply, scorchingly angry at Tony Stark, and at himself, and he didn’t know how to deal with that any more than he knew how to deal with missing Clint.

So, no, it wasn't peaceful here. He didn't deserve peace. He deserved to live with the consequences of the choices he'd made, and that meant keeping his goddamn distance from the one person he most wanted to see. There was no reason on earth Clint should ever forgive him for this, and he wouldn't put him through anything more by asking for it. He knew more or less where he was and stayed clear of that part of town. There was no way to casually check on a couple of sp ies. If he occasionally felt like someone was watching him from a distance, he told himself it was wishful thinking.

He'd stared at that arrow for a good ten minutes before he had the courage to unfurl the note wrapped around it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Clint had to say to him that he couldn’t say to his face. There were tears rolling down his cheeks by the time he'd read through it a second time, and he scrubbed them away and grabbed his keys. He hesitated for a second on grabbing the arrow and decided to leave it. It was stupid, but he selfishly didn't want to give it back.

He had plenty of time to get to the park, more if he flew, but it felt better somehow to make the trip on foot, like he needed to earn it. Besides, it wasn’t War Machine going to meet him. It was Rhodey. It was well before the deadline by the time he reached it, his gaze immediately drawn to the bright flash of purple. He couldn’t help the way his eyes drank him in after so long, safe and whole and handsome as ever. He paused at the edge of the blanket, still not totally sure of his welcome despite being invited here, the little tilt of his head a question.

--

The Raft had just been another nail in the coffin of the Avengers, not that it really held him. He stayed, sure, because he refused to put his friends through any more shit than they had been through. He’d slipped in and out, breaking into the other cells to give his companions company, for however long he could manage. Every time with Wanda had made him see absolute red, the collar a cruel taunt that he would have taken vicious pleasure in seeing around someone else. It was a harsh reminder for all of them that the law wasn’t always right.

His thoughts easily went maudlin these days and he missed when things were easier. He missed laughter and love and cuddly couch time. All of those were in short supply these days. He plucked idly at a thread in the blanket, the world around him silent where he had turned off his hearing aid. More and more, he chose to live in silence and he knew it worried Nat to see but he just didn’t have anything to say, so why listen. His words had fallen on deaf ears when it had mattered most. Why speak now when it wouldn’t change a thing?

He didn’t even watch people anymore except for quick threat evaluations, which was why he had to tamp down the jump when shoes were at the edge of his blanket. He hadn’t expected Rhodey to actually show, his resignation taking over everything. Looking up, the sight of him made his throat go tight. Even now, he was distressingly, unfairly beautiful to look at and he wasn’t prepared for the vise around his heart to tighten.

“Rhodey,” he murmured softly, his eyes trailing over his face to drink in the sight of him. It wasn’t a conscious thought as he launched himself up from sitting, tears rudely obscuring his vision as he all but threw himself at him to wrap his arms around him. He was firmly expecting to be shoved off, at the very least, once it registered that he was actually holding him.

--

Seeing his friends locked up and having a role in putting them there had made Rhodey seriously question his commitment to the law. He was an Air Force man through and through, and it meant everything to him. He couldn't even imagine another life for himself. He valued law and chains of command and protecting and serving. But that didn't mean it was always right. What was happening to them was very, very wrong, and it made him wonder whether he could continue being War Machine if this was what it meant. He was never supposed to be fighting his own people.

There was nothing so soft in his life at the moment either. It was mostly the distraction of trying to find a way out of this place and figure out what the hell was going on while he and Tony tip-toed around their feelings. He'd never had trouble calling Tony on his shit before, but this went so deep he didn't even know how to begin addressing it. He was just as angry with himself as with his best friend. There was only so much he could blame Tony for a choice he'd made himself, even with his arm twisted behind his back.

If he wasn't mistaken, Clint looked startled to see him, and that was... not normal. You couldn't sneak up on a spy. He hadn't even been trying. It made him worry there was something more going on here, some other trouble he didn't know about, not that they needed more. There was never a chance he would turn this down, not least of which because his note made it clear he'd been reading the situation wrong all this time. He didn't know how wrong. He wasn't prepared to see Clint of all people crying, and his heart gave a sick lurch of guilt and grief.

He definitely hadn't prepared himself for a hug either, but he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around him. It was the most natural thing in the world to pull him close and try to comfort him, even with self-loathing churning in his gut. He'd done this to one of his favorite people. He swore to himself that he would fix this in any way he coul d, in any way Clint needed, whether that hurt or not. "I'm sorry I stayed away. I thought you wouldn't want to see me," he murmured, fingers running soothingly through his hair. He didn't even know if he could hear him, if he had the aids turned off. He'd never minded signing with him, but his hands were busy right now.

--

If there was one thing in the world that anyone would know about James Rhodes, it was that he was a good man through and through. His loyalty to Stark was admirably unshakable, but he’d always called him on being wrong. Clint wondered how they were doing sometimes, if the strain of it all had even gotten to them. He’d had no way of knowing because he refused to let himself get too close.

He would vehemently deny any tears if they were brought up. Did it feel like a missing piece of him was back? Absolutely. Could he say that yet? No. It was all too much at once, the feeling that he might not have to carry on with a hole in his chest.

Tucking his face into his neck, he could feel the soft rumble of his words, but it was the fingers running through his hair that told him everything he needed. He didn’t want his hands to stop what he was doing so he quickly slid a hand to turn his aids back on before wrapping back around him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, trying to brace himself to pull away when it was the absolute last thing he wanted to do. “I’m sorry, I’ll just…” he trailed off and took a deep breath, his lungs filling with the comfort of home and love, of Rhodey. Nothing that had happened had changed the way he felt about him, never could.

--

Rhodey already regretted leaving him alone for so long. It had obviously hurt him more than it had helped, and he wasn’t walking away again as long as Clint wanted him there. He was fighting down the dangerous hope that there might be some way they could fix this, but the realistic part of him didn’t see how it was possible. At most, Clint might allow him to be his friend again. It would hurt like hell to keep that distance, but the important thing was being there in whatever way he needed him.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he assured him softly, when it was clear he could hear him now. He’d made no move to pull away, so Rhodey didn't either, continuing to hold him tight and pet his hair. He was the one who should be sorry, and he was. Every damn day. "I'm sorry I left you alone, Clint. I thought you wouldn't want to see me after that." His voice went tight with suppressed emotion. If Clint kept crying, he couldn’t promise he wasn't going to fall apart too. He missed him. He missed this. He felt like home.

--

He could understand Rhodey staying away after everything that had happened. He had chosen to stand on the other side of the line from not only Rhodey but Natasha too and it didn't really lend to people having much faith in him. Most people already wouldn't think he was the most loyal, but then, most people didn't really know Clint Barton. He needed him in his life like he needed to breathe, and that was something he had learned in the hardest way. He'd known what he meant to him, the place he'd filled and the way he'd taken his heart and he was happy to let him. He hadn't known how to keep going without that when it was suddenly gone.

"I do, though," he said softly. He would never apologize for where he stood in everything, not ever, because there had been a lot that had been wrong on the other side of the line. A soft sound escaped him and he burrowed a little closer when he knew that he wasn't getting pushed away. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me," he admitted quietly, "that you couldn't forgive me." He wasn't sure how to process Rhodey hating him.

Taking a slow, deep breath, he closed his eyes and forced the wetness to stop because he couldn't stand it. Quickly, he wiped at his face because that was the last thing Rhodey needed, really, was his ass weeping on him. Picking his head up, he looked at him carefully, his hand raising tentatively with the need to touch and still unsure of how much he was allowed. A hug was one thing. He hated not knowing where he stood with him, especially when he always had.

--

Rhodey knew Clint better than anyone except maybe Natasha, and he knew that he was loyal through and through. It was something they had in common, although it showed itself in different ways. He knew exactly why he'd chosen the other side, and as much as it hurt, he couldn’t hold that against him. His arm tightened around him when he snuggled closer. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he pulled away. "There's nothing to forgive. You did what you had to do. We both did," he said, the words soft with regret.

He gently swiped a thumb beneath his eye when he lifted his head, brushing away tears. It took conscious effort not to lean in and kiss him now that they were face to face. His body remembered perfectly the way they fit. He badly wanted Clint to touch him, and he also didn’t know if he'd survive it if he didn’t get to keep him. He took his hand and pressed it gently to his face, unable to deny him no matter what it cost him personally. "I'm sorry I couldn't put you first," he said quietly. "More than you know. We both know you deserve better than that."

--

The last thing in the world that Clint wanted to do was pull away from him, not when it was the place he had most wanted to be for months. Especially not when it was the one place he never thought he would get to be again. "We did, and look what it got us," he sighed softly, all of the heartache clear in his voice. He had never felt the need to hide with Rhodey, not any part of himself. The only other person who got that from him was Nat, and she'd been there for years before that was entirely the case for her.

He leaned into that soft touch, his breath hitching at it. Everything about him screamed home to him, even now, and he just wanted to sink into the comfort of him again. A quiet, ragged sound escaped him when Rhodey pressed his hand to his face, his fingers curving gently to cradle it. "Stop," he whispered, shaking his head, "Stop that." He hated hearing him like that, an echo of the pain in his own chest.

Tipping his head, he pressed his lips to the corner of his mouth, wanting to kiss him, needing to kiss him, but not letting himself. "I've always known I would come second," he said quietly, "That if it really, really came down to it, that was where I would fall. And I still chose you, chose us, because I was okay with that. I would still choose us, every time. You will never be on my list of regrets." His words were quiet and fierce, his eyes on his to make sure he understood, that he knew exactly where he stood. "We just never expected the line you had to pick a side on to be so... harsh."

--

He didn't know what to do with a Clint who didn't even seem to be mad at him. Hurt, yes, and there was plenty of that to go around, but he’d spent months thinking he’d never forgive him for choosing Tony over him. Why should he? Couldn’t Clint see that he deserved a partner who could put him first? The frightening truth was that Rhodey didn’t know what choice he would make if he had to do it again. Taking Tony's side had cost him something dear, with Clint and in himself. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to do it again.

He groaned softly at the press of lips, a pained sound when all he wanted to do was sink into him, and instead he was fighting both of them. "Goddamn it, Clint. Are you hearing yourself? That's not okay. You shouldn't be anybody's second choice. Why would you forgive me for that? Why would you risk it happening again? You shouldn't. You're better than that." It sounded like a warning at the end, one he both wanted and didn't want him to take. Rhodey would always selfishly want him, but it was clear now that he wasn't good for him. He should let him go, let him find someone who could actually give him everything Rhodey wished he could give him.

--

Clint stayed quiet, listening to everything he said and especially everything that he didn't. He read the tension in him, the exhaustion. He sighed softly, hearing the way he was trying to push him away and he swallowed hard at it. It just further twisted that pain in his heart that had been there from the moment he'd had to look at him standing next to Tony while he demanded for them to sign their safety away, their ability to be something other than the job, to make their own decisions about the job.

It felt more wrong than a lot of things to slowly pull himself back, because he would do a lot that was bad for himself, but staying where he wasn't actually sure he was wanted wasn't really one of them. "Would you do it again?" The question was soft as he looked at him, his face as serious as it had ever been aimed at Rhodey. "Knowing everything, everything it costs, how wrong parts of it were... would you do it again?" He knew that he would stand on the exact same side if faced with the same decision.

--

He didn't want to let him go, even knowing he’d said the words to make it happen. He told himself it was better that way even as his heart twisted in his chest. He slowly took his hands off him, shoving them in his pockets where it would be safer and he wouldn't be so tempted to reach for him again. That wasn’t his place anymore, and it wasn’t fair to pretend like anything had changed.

Anger flared in him at being asked to choose again. He was tired of that question. He was tired of running it over in his head and coming up fucked no matter which way he answered it. It should never have been a choice he had to make in the first place. He knew the answer Clint wanted, and he knew he couldn’t give it to him.

He sighed softly, the anger draining out of him as he shook his head. "I don't know what I would do anymore. I'm so goddamn mad at him for making me choose. But I did, and that's on me. I know it was wrong. I knew it then. But I can't stand by and let him get killed. I won't." It was the thing that kept him from walking away now, even as angry as he was. He’d spent half his life trying to keep Tony Stark from self-destructing. Sometimes Rhodey felt like the last thread holding him together.

--

Clint made a soft, quiet sound, shaking his head and stepping forward to  curl his fingers gently around his wrist. "I'm angry that you had to choose," he said softly, the words careful like every single on of them were being weighed. They were, and in ways that he would probably continue to question himself for. Rhodey was one of the most genuinely good people that he knew, and nothing about it had been fair to him.

"I would never, ever have let that happen," that much he knew for certain. As angry as he'd been, it wasn't anything he could have stood by and let happen. "That love, that friendship, that loyalty, it's all part of you. I am angry as hell that it put you where it did. I am. Don't think I'm not. But all that anger has done is make me fucking sad." Clint sighed softly and shook his head, because there hadn't been an answer that he wanted. He just wanted the truth. He got it.

"I could have chosen you," he reminded him, "I could have put myself somewhere I know I didn't completely stand. We both made our choices, Rhodey." His eyes drifted over him. "I'm so fucking sick of being sad and missing you like you're the air I need to breathe and I"m drowning. We can both make a choice now, and it doesn't have to be anything dealing with all of that absolute bullshit. I"ve already told you which one I make. What's your choice?"

--

Rhodey had always believed he was a decent person. Not perfect, of course, but more good than not. He wasn’t sure he could say that about himself anymore. He didn’t know how to handle Clint being so nice to him when he couldn’t manage to be very nice to himself lately. "You can say it. He was a dick. He's still being a dick." He was still capable of being objective about his best friend, even if that didn’t ultimately affect where he stood in the end. Tony still stubbornly refused to hear why he was wrong, and Rhodey had pretty much given up trying to make him see it. He’d never just shut him out so hard. They always listened to each other, even if they made their own choices in the end.

"I know you wouldn't," he assured him softly. That fight was clear as anything in his head. He and Clint had been standing on opposite sides for it, but they'd essentially been doing the same thing: trying to keep anyone from being seriously hurt. It had been far more defense than offense, and he wouldn't apologize for that, not even after being reamed out for pulling his punches enough that Rogers and Barnes had escaped. He’d known their Captain would come for their friends on The Raft. It was the only thing that kept him from doing it himself.

"I'm glad you didn't. You did the right thing even when it was hard. Our team, the world-- it needs that kind of integrity from you." It would have killed a part of him to see Clint sacrifice some of that goodness just to stand by him, the way Rhodey had for Tony. He was so good, so loyal, so sure of where he was standing. He was a little afraid to touch him now and tarnish some of that shine. But he also knew he wasn’t strong enough to walk if he really wanted to do this. He’d just have to do better for him. It felt like the first good decision he'd made in months. He met his eyes, that pretty sky blue he wanted to fall into. "If you really want this, then I'm not walking away, Clint. I would never. I love you. I never stopped."

--

There was no reason for him to be unkind to Rhodey. Just because they had stood on different sides of a very large fight didn’t change everything that he knew about him. He knew that he hadn’t agreed with the whole of it, the Accords, the Raft. He also knew that, like him, he had tried to be a voice of reason, a voice of moderation and balance. Nothing about it was black and white, nowhere near. “I’m less inclined to tolerate him being a dick to you than I’ve ever been,” the words were quiet and edged in mean in a way that people rarely heard but made it very clear his opinion on the subject.

The closest he had come to really hurting anyone had been the one person dumb enough to actually try and go after Rhodey. His exploding arrow had conveniently landed between the two and he’d shrugged it off like ‘whoops’ and because he was who he was, they’d bought it. Idiot. Getting caught and tossed in the Raft hadn’t bothered him, knowing Barnes and Rogers were out in the world. He’d turned it into his own game.

“I hated it. Every moment of it when all I wanted was you,” he sighed and shook his head. It had been the first time where he’d wished he didn’t have as strong of conviction as he did because he knew what it was going to cost him. What was one man though, against so many others that he could protect? He stepped back closer to him, closing some of that space as he reached up to slide his fingers along his jaw. “I love you, Rhodey. I don’t want to have to keep figuring out how to live without you.”

--

"What he's doing to me is really the least of it." He shook his head, beyond any defense for Tony at this point. It wasn't like he was going out of his way to be an asshole to him, but he was still stuck in the same stubborn mindset he'd been in since before the fight. As long as that was the case, he didn't see any way of repairing things with the team. Before Clint contacted him, he hadn't thought there was any chance of that. He'd fought as hard to keep anyone from going after his partner in that battle as he had to protect Tony. He knew the arrow hadn't been accidental, and anyone who thought it was was an idiot. Clint didn't miss.

Unfortunately, it hadn't been about them. Rhodey halfway wished they'd been selfish enough to make it about them, but they weren't. He thought maybe he could be now though. Maybe Clint was right and they could make the choice they actually wanted to now. It wasn't like the politics of the Avengers' Civil War mattered in this place. He'd ripped his life in half for nothing. Clint was telling him it didn't have to be like that, that he could come home because home had been him for a long time. "I'd much rather figure out where we go from here, together," he murmured, reaching out to pull him close again.

--

“Not to me,” he murmured darkly, because Rhodey was on the same level as Nat in his world and had been for a long time. They had tried to get everyone to listen before they’d imploded their worlds. He saw no reason to keep talking themselves blue in the face with anyone who didn’t want to listen to them any more now than they had then. All that mattered to him was that Rhodey heard everything he was saying.

Maybe they should have been more selfish, but that wasn’t who they were at the end of the day, not when there was so much more than them at stake. Now, though? Things were entirely different. He shifted happily into his hold, pressing close to him and sliding his arms around his shoulders. “I want that too,” he agreed softly. “Together sounds perfect. Gonna kiss me now, or what?” His eyes were soft and slightly pleading, knowing that it would help for him to hear and see that he was still so very wanted.

--

That protectiveness made him ache. He'd missed Clint so much that he couldn't even let himself fully acknowledge it or he would have cracked and shown up at his door, but it was more than that. He'd missed having someone on his side, and it made him realize how much he really didn't feel like Tony was lately. He'd picked Tony in the war, and Tony had picked Tony ever since. It would take a lot more for Rhodey to walk away from that friendship, but something had to change.

Some inner tension ran out of him at having Clint pressed close again. It was a lot different knowing he got to keep him this time, but it didn't make him any more inclined to let go. He wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and breathed him in, the first real breath he'd had in a long time. Rhodey wasn't sure he deserved a second chance at this, but he was selfishly taking it. He couldn't stand the idea of Clint being sad without him anyway. He never wanted to give him a reason to cry again. "Every day for as long as you'll have me," he promised, tipping his head to catch him in a soft kiss.

--

There were so many things about their life together that Clint had missed, and terribly. He hadn’t been able to think of them in terms of forever for a very long time, the unfortunate reality of the lives they led. That had started to switch before their lives were ripped apart by shit that didn’t even have a place here. He wanted to be on Rhodey’s side, at his side, and giving him that person that was as firmly on his side as he was on Stark’s.

There was no reason for him to have to let him go if he didn’t want to, not how. He sank into that hold, that warmth that was pure home to him. His fingers slid in soothing, gentle strokes along the line of his neck, as reassuring as he could be. He knew he was risking more hurt, coming in second over and over. He didn’t want to change him, but he wanted him to have more for himself instead of always giving to Stark. Did he want to be one of those things? Absolutely. He wasn’t selfless. “Forever,” he said softly, shifting to meet that kiss. He had stuck through this. He couldn’t imagine anything more threatening to their relationship.

--

Rhodey didn't know if he could go back to the way things had been. He’d never imagined Clint would want to give this another try. They could say all they wanted that the fight didn't matter, but it did. Something had shifted inside him, and he didn’t know exactly where it would settle yet. Maybe it was something that should have happened sooner, but he didn’t think he could go back to putting Tony's needs ahead of everything, including his partner's and his own. Tony wasn't the one willing to bend, or looking for a compromise, or caring about other people's feelings. Clint was standing here in front of him doing all of that.

It made him feel like things could actually be different instead of the hopeless dread that had settled over him since he’d gotten here. He wasn’t happy. It was startling to realize because he hadn’t really been willing to look at that misery or its source too closely. He had another chance at this, and he wanted to do better for both of them. The word sent a shiver of longing through him. They’d just been starting to think about forever before it was ripped away from them. He’d like to believe it was possible again, and that he was actually worthy of it. He kept the kiss slow and sweet and loving because they were in public, even if there was a lot more he wanted to say with that.

--

The fight mattered because of everything it had laid clear, the divisions it put between them, the hurts that it caused. The politics of it didn't, but the fallout was real, sadly so. He wanted everyone to have the chance to heal from it, if they could, however they could or needed to. If he knew how deeply rattled Rhodey's relationship with Stark was, there was a soft part of his heart that would want to try and help fix it, even though it wasn't his place. He hated to see anything hurt Rhodey, though, and that included the people he loved most.

He couldn't imagine going into a second chance with him and holding anything back. He'd started to want forever before, to think about their life in those terms. There was no reason to hold it back now, not if this was what they really wanted. A soft sound escaped him, the vise in his chest tightening at the gentle love in that kiss. "Come home with me," he murmured against his lips, "Even if its just for tonight... we can figure it all out later." He didn't want it to just be for the night, but he would take what he could get for now. He'd rolled over enough and accepted too little before, even before Rhodey. He didn't really want to anymore.

--

Rhodey had zero desire to return to Stark Tower, or what passed for it in this place. There had been a lot of construction and upgrading since Tony took over the London branch of Stark Industries. It had been years since they lived together, and he wasn’t cut out for it anymore, especially with so much unresolved between them. It had seemed best to stick close until they knew what was going on here though, and maybe he was punishing himself a little too. This was the side he'd chosen. Live with it.

Clint had no idea what he’d done. It was like Rhodey couldn’t see it clearly until he was there, reminding him that things could be different. Better. "You are my home." It came out more raw and honest than he meant it to, but he knew Clint of all people wouldn't mind honesty. He kissed him again softly before he pulled away to retrieve his blanket off the ground. He loosely folded it and tucked it under his arm, sliding his free hand into Clint's. "We'll figure it out. Let's get out of here," he agreed.

--

When it came to Rhodey, there was never any planning, compartmentalizing, or anything he had a tendency to apply to other people in his life. He'd always gotten him at his most open once they'd gotten close. He saw no reason to change that now, not when he got the feeling that he needed someone who was going to be open with him and let him be equally open in return. It was the way things were supposed to work when you loved someone.

His heart ached at those words and his arms tightened gently in response, unable to trust his voice. As a general rule, he wasn't an emotionally responsive person, but they were all riding so high at that moment. Letting him go to grab the blanket, his heart was soft at the knowledge that he was willing to go with him, despite everything. Twining their fingers together, he led him to the car he'd tucked a block away, windows dark enough to fuck with even Stark's ability to see into it. Yes, he had trust issues. Again. More? Either way.

--

Rhodey had never done serious commitment before Clint. He thrived best in casual relationships, where he didn't have to pretend that Tony and work and the Avengers weren't going to come first. Nobody wanted to be fourth place on someone's list, and he couldn't blame them. Clint was different. He'd known it was something real even before it started, that he would have to do things differently with him if it was going to work.

He thought they'd done a good job of it until he was forced to choose a side. That wouldn't be a good question to ask him right now, when he was on the outs with Tony, and Clint was here offering him a home and forgiveness. He'd meant it when he said he didn't know what he would do if he had to make it again, but he had the feeling that if Tony pushed him right now, something was going to snap. Clint's hand in his felt like comfort and safety, and he'd have gone just about anywhere he wanted to take him at the moment. He didn't so much as blink at the windows as he slid into the passenger seat. He knew his partner always considered safety, even if he ultimately decided to ignore it.

--

They had always danced a careful line, preserving their relationship while maintaining the commitments they’d had long before they’d had each other. He had never felt any less in Rhodey’s life for  coming where he did, because when it was the two of them, he got absolutely everything he needed from his partner. He could have survived him taking a side, if everything that came with it hadn’t cost them all contact. He would never want to be the one that came between him and Stark, even now, but he’d fight for Rhodey to be able to have his middle ground.

Sliding into the car, he started it and immediately reached over for Rhodey’s hand. It didn’t matter that they were in the same car. A part of him needed that small contact to be reassured that this was real, that he was actually with him. He wouldn’t be the one to tell Rhodey that this car was specifically to keep him safe from his best friend because that would help absolutely nothing. He drove through town, making his way to the place he and Nat had settled into, knowing she wouldn’t be there and hopefully not any time soon.

--

As always, Clint was too easy on him. He settled for too little, and Rhodey didn't want that to happen anymore. It wasn’t like Tony always came first in everything. It depended on the situation, the severity, where he was most needed. But by comparison, Tony asked for a lot and Clint asked for almost nothing. He’d like things to tip in his partner's favor more often, and he was the only person who could make that happen. The battle was internal.

He asked for so little that Rhodey couldn't bring himself to deny him much, even if he hadn’t wanted the contact just as badly right now. He wrapped his hand in his, the other gently gripping the back of his neck and sliding into the hair there. It was a silent reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere. The distance and the silence had hurt him too, but unlike him, Clint didn't deserve it.

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew what the windows meant, although it would be helpful against a number of threats besides an iron suit. He also didn’t think Tony was holding grudges to the point of tracking down their old teammates here. But he hadn’t thought he’d start a knock down drag out fight that ended with half of them in prison either, so what the fuck did he know about it.

--

He'd never cared about coming second to Tony, knowing that of the two of them he just needed less. At least, in his mind he did, but he could never be sure how he translated to other people. But Tony, War Machine, the Air Force, all things that Clint had known would come before him and he'd gone into their relationship knowing that.

He wanted to melt into that soft touch but wanted to get him out of there and home, somewhere secure where they could just be as soon as he could manage. He knew that it would take time to stop second guessing everything but he hoped that he could get there. Zipping through traffic, his thumb slid gently across Rhodey's hand, giving gentle love and comfort with every stroke to tide them both over until they got home.

Pulling into the garage across the street from the apartment, he put it in park and leaned across the center console to kiss him softly. It was hard to love someone and be apart and silent for so long, and it felt like a dam had burst in his chest and he couldn't reel it all back in properly. "Com'on," he murmured softly, forcing himself to pull back when all he really wanted to do was crawl into his lap and stay there.

--

He didn't want Clint to be that far down on his list anymore. He’d already started thinking of him in terms of forever, but they had a chance to build something separate from the Avengers here. If they could get through this? He'd never worry about something coming between them again. They could get through anything. He wanted to fix it, only better than it had been before.

He was there meeting him halfway for that kiss, and it took effort to pull back. They’d almost made it inside though, and he was ready to have Clint all to himself, a closed door between them and the world, for a while. He got out of the car and let him lead since he didn’t know exactly where they were going.

He texted Tony that he was staying with Clint for the night and turned off his phone without waiting for an answer. It wasn’t something he wanted to explain right now. He wasn’t positive Tony would notice if he didn’t come home, but given how weird things were here, he wasn't taking any chances about him tracking him down.

--

For the first time in a very long time, Clint was actually giving consideration to a life away from the Avengers, from anything resembling S.H.I.E.L.D. or S.W.O.R.D.. If he could have Rhodey in that? There was nothing stopping him from it, no reason for him to stay in it all day in and day out. There was time to figure it all out, to work out what they wanted now, where they wanted to go from here.

Tucking his hand into Rhodey's once they were out of the car, he led him through the underground tunnel that connected the garage to the apartment building. Ignoring the out of order elevator, he led him up the stairs to the fourth, top floor. He was as serious and focused as he would be on a mission, wanting to get him where none of the rest of the world had to matter until they were ready for it to.

When they got to the door, he let go of his hand to pull out his keys and let them in, immediately tossing the keys into the bowl sitting in the hall. He stepped in far enough to let Rhodey in and shut the door behind him, turning so he could watch him. The desperate need to pounce was being tightly reined in for a moment, "It's not much, but it's home for now."

--

Rhodey was taking in the vibe of the place, the concrete and the out of order elevator. London wasn't a place he’d have ever chosen to live. Too gray and British for the Air Force Colonel. He couldn’t decide whether it suited Clint or not and guessed that meant probably not. The tunnel and the top floor, though, he could see. Mostly, he just didn’t like the idea of Clint being alone and sad here.

"I've been living in a half-built tower. This is practically homey." He gave a small smile. He was the last person to judge somebody's space. His didn’t really feel like his at the moment, although he and Tony were usually good about giving each other space. He opened his arms, sensing the barely suppressed urge to pounce. Clint was always welcome in his space, and it hurt that he'd given him any reason to think he wasn't.

--

He kind of liked the halfway exposed brick of the apartment, but they hadn't really done much with the space itself. London itself was just so.... not New York. Too many grey days for the archer and there was a lamp in the corner to attest to his protesting of that grey. It had only added to that lonely sadness, the weather a terrifying exact copy of his mood, making it impossible to shake it felt like.

He immediately pulled a face at the idea and shook his head, "That just sounds gross. Is there all that construction happening all the time?" When his arms opened, Clint immediately practically leapt on him, wrapping his limbs around him, legs curling around his waist. He buried his face in his neck for a moment and took a second just to breathe.

--

Clint was so vivid. He could blend in anywhere because that was the spy in him, but Rhodey couldn't imagine him ever truly fitting here. He’d already brought more color into his life in an hour than in the whole rest of his time here. He was even starting to rethink the black and chrome of his suit. It was too goddamn depressing against all the other gray. "Pretty much. It wasn’t in great shape when we got here."

He'd braced himself to have a snuggly human koala flying at him, so he barely shifted under the weight, arms sliding around him and tucking him in close. He pressed his face into his hair and breathed him in, the familiar warmth and weight of him grounding. This was exactly where he belonged. "I missed you too, baby," he murmured, nuzzling gently into his hair.

--

There was a comfort to the black and chrome of War Machine, but then, that was probably just the association with Rhodey. One didn't exist without the other, really, but at the heart of it, always, was Rhodey and his instinct to protect. To Clint, there was nothing dull about it, but he wouldn't have blamed him for the thought process behind changing it. "I bet. SI was always New York or California, really," he muttered, because that was always where Stark had been.

He loved the way that he just took all of his weight and held him close, not even rocking when he caught him. Always so steady, his Rhodey was, and he felt like home. He sank into his hold, his lips brushing softly against the skin he'd buried his face in. Being heard so clearly when he didn't say a word was just one more way he felt more at peace than he had for so long. "Never again," he murmured, picking his head up just enough to kiss him.

--

He let the subject drop there, not because it was off limits but because the last thing he wanted to talk about right now was Tony. He wanted to put all of his focus on Clint, the way he hadn’t been able to do for months even before they got here. He didn't think a night was going to be enough for him after so long apart, but they'd cross that bridge when they came to it. He wasn’t even going to think about leaving until at least this time tomorrow.

He braced one arm to hold him, the other sliding gently through his hair. He’d missed him so much, and holding him again felt more right than anything had in a long time. "No way," he agreed softly, tipping his head into that kiss. He knew better than to think Clint wanted that distance from him now, whatever might have gone down between them. He’d stay, and they could figure it out together like they always did.

--

Clint was completely happy to let the subject drop, wanting to focus on them instead. They hadn’t had the chance for it in entirely too long, and he was trying to push away the hurt of it. It didn’t have a place when Rhodey was finally right here with him. There was no part of him that even remotely wanted to consider him leaving him, however temporary it might be.

He could stay under his hands forever, those soft touches soothing the ragged edges of the last months slowly. Kissing him slowly, he let all of that missing him slide into it, the happiness that they were back together mingling into it. He wanted to figure out what their life could be here, even with everything that had happened. It didn’t change that he wanted Rhodey in his life permanently.

--

The hurt was there, and it wouldn't be pushed aside forever. Rhodey was happy to focus on the good things for right now, knowing how much they both needed it, but there were issues they'd need to work through too. He was just glad to have the opportunity to do that. At least they were together, and they were trying. That empty place in his life where Clint was supposed to be wasn’t so ragged.

He made a soft sound at the bittersweetness of that kiss, so much hurt in there with the happy. He pressed him gently against the wall so he could kiss him properly, slow and deep and steady the way Rhodey always was. It was a promise he wasn’t going anywhere this time, that he had every intention of staying right here with him where he belonged, and that he'd be glad to do some making up for lost time.

--

Actually processing the hurt together was something he was absolutely willing to do, he just didn't want to right then. They had been without one another for entirely too long for the issues to take precedence when they just wanted a moment to finally be happy. He had been trying to protect himself from the ragged edges where Rhodey had always fit for too long to let the sadness reign when they were finally together again.

A soft sound escaped him into the kiss when his back met the wall and he tightened around him. That kiss was everything Rhodey to him, and he wanted to just sink into what he was offering. He had every plan to keep him there as long as he could manage, wanting to live in that happy feeling. He'd felt like home to him for a long time now, and this was everything he needed.

--

Everything about him was a temptation to keep going, from the soft sounds he made and the familiar warmth of him wrapped around him to the way he kissed. He wanted to sink into everything he offered, all the love and safety and home, but not before he knew what Clint needed. Rhodey would do everything he could to keep him in this happy space, after all the hurt he'd caused.

"What do you need, baby?" he murmured against his lips, unwilling to get far from him. He’d gladly take him to bed right now, but it wasn’t the only option. He just didn’t want to get too distracted if they were going to do something with clothes on, like make dinner or cuddle up with a movie. All three of those sounded like things he wanted out of this night, just to start.

--

Everything about this helped soothe the ragged edges of the months he'd spent without him. Just having him close was so much to help. He hadn't been sure he would ever get any of this again, so already he felt like he was ahead of the curve. If they could sink back into that happy place they'd been in before, even just a little, they were already winning.

Clint just wanted Rhodey, any way he was allowed to have him, every way he had missed having him. He wanted their life together back. The question pulled a soft sound of unsurety out of him and his limbs tightened around him. "I need you," he admitted softly, "I need our life together to be an option again. But I think if you try to put me down right now, I might have a tantrum." The teasing was light and he skimmed his lips over his gently.

--

Rhodey knew he had making up to do to reassure him that this was real and he was staying. Only time and attention could undo the damage that had been done with distance and begin to repair that trust, but he could make a good start of it right now. He wanted him so happy he didn't know what to do with all of it. He could have him any way he wanted, and he doubted there was anything he'd deny him now.

His hand soothed gently through his hair. He hated that he'd put that uncertainty there, that Clint wasn't sure of his place in his life anymore. "That's not an option, Clint. That's a fact. I'm not going anywhere. And the only places I'm going to put you down are in bed or on that couch. Your choice." He tipped his head, keeping the kiss soft and gentle. If he needed cuddles and closeness more than he needed heat, then he was there for it. Whatever would reassure him that he was here to stay.

--

There had been no stopping that distance once everything had started, and it was an unfortunate reality. They could change their lives now, though, and that was really mattered. They couldn't change the past, but maybe, just maybe, they could build something great from it.

He wanted to purr under that gentle hand, feeling soft in the heart at having him back so close. His throat went a little tight at his words, wanting to believe them more than anything. "Take me to bed," the request was soft, needing to feel him close.

--

Rhodey hadn’t been expecting a chance to turn this around, and he wasn’t going to waste it. He didn’t know if he deserved forgiveness, but he wanted to be worthy of it. He wanted to try. He wanted Clint back in his life, the happiest part of it most days, and he wanted to know his partner was safe and happy too. The distance was a mistake he wouldn't make again.

His hands tightened on him as he lifted him back into his arms and headed for the bedroom. A glance through both open doors made it obvious which one was his. Natasha’s looked like nobody had ever lived there. He nudged the door shut behind them with his foot and pressed him against it, hands sliding over the warm skin beneath his shirt as he sank into another kiss.

--

Never, in everything that had gone down, had Clint taken even a moment to blame Rhodey for a single thing. It didn't matter how much his heart ached at him being gone, he'd understood. He hadn't liked it, but he'd understood. It was hard for him to so desperately want him to choose him, even knowing where he'd agreed to stand in his life. Clint Barton wasn't a man to ask for anything from anyone.

His limbs tightened around Rhodey when he picked him back up, pressing soft kisses to the line of his neck. He hoped that Natasha could learn to just live and let herself stay but that was a worry for later when he didn't have Rhodey carrying him to bed. Gasping softly, he tugged at the back of his shirt, wanting it off so he could feel him again.

--

Rhodey blamed himself as much as anyone. He’d broken his own heart, choosing his best friend over his partner, even knowing that Clint was the more likely of the two to understand the choice. Just because he’d accepted being second in his life didn't mean it was right or fair or that he should keep doing it.

He wanted to chase every soft sound he made now that he knew it was wanted. He shifted enough to pull his shirt off, Clint's quick to follow. His hands skimmed along his sides, and he groaned softly at being pressed against him again after so long. He kissed him again, deep and hungry, not bothering to hold back anymore.

--

In Clint's mind, what mattered more than anything was how they moved forward. Already, things were better than they'd been because they were together even after it all. The knowledge that they'd work on it, that they could figure something out, helped soothe so much. Rhodey didn't lie to him, and he was certainly never careless with his love.

He'd wanted him for a long time and he couldn't imagine it going away after he'd had him. Pressing closer when both of their shirts were gone, he groaned to match, the heat of him threatening to make his head swim. Clint sank into that kiss, matching the heat and hunger of it with his own, unable to put it all back in the bottle he'd crammed it into.

--

He hated that he’d ever put Clint in a position to have to bottle his feelings. That wasn’t what they were to each other. He was supposed to be a safe place for him. He was supposed to be his home, and instead he'd left him to deal with all this shit alone. Of all people, Clint didn't deserve that. He hadn’t even wanted there to be a fight in the first place.

Showing his partner exactly how loved and needed he was had moved into top priority. His body was a welcome line of heat against his, the best thing he’d felt in months, his voice a quiet rumble. "I hope you don't think I'm ever letting you go again." His hand slid to his jaw, tipping his head to kiss him more deeply, the need to absolutely devour him not one he was sure he wanted to tamp down.

--

Reality was very rarely good to a relationship for people in their positions. They had responsibilities and loyalties that were always going to tug at them. Their best hope had been that it would be in ways that didn't pull them apart. Through everything, he knew he could have gone to Rhodey, that he would have done his best to be there for him and protect him despite everything going on. He hadn't wanted to put him in that position. He still didn't. He hated that there had ever been a fight to begin with.

He'd forgotten (because he'd had to for his sanity) just how damn good Rhodey felt pressed against him, how his voice dark and rumbling sent shivers down his spine. "Please don't," he murmured, not ever wanting him to. He moved for him, sinking into that kiss and the need that was rising. He would happily be devoured, didn't want him to draw back on anything tonight.

--

He'd seen the way few of the Avengers managed anything like stable relationships. He’d never thought they were exempt from that, and it took its own toll in the way they often had to privilege other responsibilities over each other. He hadn’t been prepared for the team itself to be what tore them apart though. Maybe he should have been. The signs were there, but hindsight and all.

It had been easier not to think about him this way, and since he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Clint altogether, he could at least do that much for his own sanity. The missing him was hitting him now, translating itself into need that he didn’t want to bottle or channel another way. "Here or bed?" He murmured, nibbling softly at his bottom lip.

--

They had hoped that they could survive anything the world threw at them because they had each other, at least Clint had. He'd hoped that the team, that the job, would never be what pulled them apart. He'd hoped that Tony would never actually put Rhodey in a position to choose. He'd always known that hoping wasn't something he should do.

Thinking about Rhodey had been all that kept him going some days, knowing that he'd been so well-loved. He could let himself feel how desperately he had missed him now, how much he'd needed him to be there. A soft sound was pulled out of him at that nibble. "Bed, because I want to keep you there for a while," he admitted against his lips, kissing him softly.

--

He wanted every soft sound he made, every brush of hands and lips, every warm point of contact. He felt like he was starving for him, not even necessarily for the heat that was so easy to call up between them, but just him. His voice and his hands and his body, and that shit-eating smile, and those sky blue eyes, and the thousand things he loved about Clint Barton.

"As long as you want," he promised, knowing he wouldn’t have the strength to tear himself away any time soon. There were things he needed to deal with, but right now, the only one that mattered was reassuring his partner that he was loved and wanted. He lifted him away from the wall, not hesitating to follow him onto the bed as he set him down.

--

He had no reason to hold any part of himself back from Rhodey, never had. It had been hard, so very hard, to stay away when it had been the last thing he had wanted. He had missed everything about him, everything he loved and could recite on a list. He had been safety and love for a very long time.

He knew better than to ask for his instinctive answer of 'forever'. That wasn't something he could have, he knew that, because his partner was responsible and cared so very deeply. Feeling his bed hit his back, he wrapped his limbs around him with a soft, happy sound.

--

Rhodey knew better than to offer forever right now. That wasn’t something he could just say to him, and they had things they needed to work out before that felt like something that could actually happen instead of something he longed for. He wanted it though. He wanted to be able to choose Clint and their life together and stay with him.

He settled over him on the bed, hands running over soft skin. He hadn’t let himself think about how right he felt under him, the familiar contours of his body shaped to his, and he set himself to kissing him out of his damn mind. They had all night to start, and he wanted every minute of it.

--

After all of this, there was a part of him that didn't trust the idea of forever actually being on the table at any point. If it wasn't Stark, it could be something else, their careers, the lives they chose to lead. He knew the risks of what he'd always done, but he wasn't so sure that they were worth everything anymore. That was something else for him to contend with.

There was no stopping that ragged sound that escaped him when he finally had Rhodey over him, arching into his strong, clever hands. It would have driven him insane in a terrible way if he'd let himself think about how right this had felt for so long and how much he had missed it. All he wanted now was to enjoy it again and he sank into those kisses quite happily.

--

Things had shifted, and Rhodey didn't know exactly where they were going to land. He only knew that a change had taken place the moment Clint's arms had wrapped around him like he didn’t have a thing to forgive him for. It was a realization that life could be different, and maybe it had to be if they were to keep going. It wasn’t working the way he had it. He was moving toward all that love and warmth to guide him.

He couldn’t help chasing that ragged sound, kissing him deeply, hands sliding over soft skin to hold him as he arched against him. His hips rolled against him in response, and there were too many layers between them. He pulled back enough to stare into those darkening blue eyes, already breathless with needing him, a thumb running under the band of his pants, less teasing than promise. "What do you want?"

--

More and more, Rhodey had become worth so much more to him. He'd given him the closest thing to home and safety he could really remember ever having. It had made losing him that much worse. When Nat had found him, he'd been grateful but it hadn't healed the hole. Maybe now, that could come with time.

His hands clung to him, digging into hard muscles wrapped in the softest skin and shuddered at the roll of his hips. His eyes locked on his, his hands sliding over him in encouragement. The question made his breath hitch and his hips shifted up into him. "I want to feel you, Rhodey," he murmured softly.

--

He'd never intended for it to be like this. He’d never meant to fall for Clint or to make him fall for him, or to build a home out of each other. He’d had relationships before that, and he’d even had people that he loved, but there was always a measure of distance put there by work and the Avengers and Tony. Somehow, that distance wasn't there with Clint. He loved him so much more than he’d ever expected to, more than he'd even realized he was capable of, and he’d thought these last few months that he'd lost that forever.

"Perfect," he murmured, tracing out the lines of him and letting his gaze follow. He’d missed the sight and feel of him, everything that told him he was home. "Alright, baby. You got anything?" He tipped his head to kiss him, unable to resist those tempting lips. He wasn’t sure what answer he wanted. Seeing other people had felt like an impossibility to Rhodey. He could barely tolerate the people he knew. But he couldn’t exactly hold Clint to that when they were broken up. He wouldn’t. He deserved to be happy.

--

Going into this, he had never expected what they turned into. He'd never expected for Rhodey to turn into the person he loved most in the world, that he couldn't stand to live without. It was nothing like he'd ever had with anyone else, and he didn't want it with anyone else. It wasn't anything he was going to let go without a fight now, but he'd had to know there was still something to fight for.

He shivered lightly under that touch, wanting more of him. Everything about Rhodey told him that he was home, that he was safe. Leaning up into that kiss, he poured every bit of love and need into it. "I don't," he admitted quietly. Seeing anyone that wasn't Rhodey had never occurred to him. It was nothing he had wanted, or even considered trying to want.

--

His gaze softened as he took in that so-loved face, brushing another soft kiss to his lips. "Me either," he assured him softly. He wouldn’t have wanted Clint to be alone and sad, but he understood it. Rhodey had done his share of casual hookups when he wasn't in relationships, but the want for anyone else since they'd broken apart just hadn’t been there. The only person he wanted was right here under him.

"Means I get to take my time with you," he practically purred in his ear, hands tightening on him as his hips rolled, slow and deliberate. "I think I want to see you fall apart under my tongue first, before I have you nice and slow and sweet." They had all night, and Rhodey had every intention of taking advantage of that and letting Clint know every way he’d missed him.

--

There was very little he liked more than being the subject of all of Rhodey's focus, of his patience. Being under him was nothing short of heaven for him, and letting him drive him over that glittering edge turned him into a boneless puddle under him. He felt every bit of missing and being missed, and felt every bit of it start to be soothed away.

His hands trailed softly over warm, slick skin, his lips pressing to his shoulder. "I love you," he murmured softly against his skin, once actual thought and words were possible again. He made it very clear that he didn't want him to move any time soon.

--

They'd always been great like this, a form of communication that had only gotten better with time until he knew Clint’s body as well as his own. It was easy to lose himself in everything he wanted to say like this, all of the missing him and needing him and wanting to stay and do better finding its outlet as he kept every promise growled into his ear or pressed against his skin.

Feeling the warm, familiar shape of him blissed out and relaxed under him just reinforced the feeling that he was home. Rhodey had no intention of moving any time soon, even if his body had been in the mood to cooperate. His hand traced idly over soft skin, and he pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. "I love you too, baby."

--

This was communication that he always understood with Rhodey. He believed every bit of what he said with and without words. Those growls, those murmurs, they were all just part of the conversation they needed to have to settle and soothe both of them.

There was no stopping the soft shivers of delight and bliss that were running through him. This was home, for him, and it was finally back. He slid a hand to curl around the back of his neck, tipping his head to catch his lips in a slow, lazy kiss.

--

That possessive streak in him liked the way he shivered for him, liked the feeling of Clint pinned under him, safe and happy where he belonged. Rhodey had never known he had a possessive side before him. He’d never looked at anyone and gone mine even when he was in a relationship.

He tipped his head to kiss him, slow and sweet and lingering. This was just as necessary as all the heat or more. He needed these gentle, cuddly moments with Clint to know they were okay and that they could still be soft with each other. It was a reassurance that this was real, and it would last because they'd make sure it would.

--

There had never been a time before Rhodey that Clint would thought he liked someone being possessive over him. But he liked seeing it on his face, in his eyes, when his claim on him was so clear and happily on display. Being Rhodey's was one of his favorite things to be, and he liked being able to say that Rhodey was his.

His other hand ran in slow, lazy paths over the length of his spine as they kissed. Every touch, every kiss, all reminded them that this was real and they would be okay. He didn't think he could ever hold any part of himself back from Rhodey again, especially not the softness or the love that wholly belonged to him anyway.

--

He was happy to drift for a while, the whole world shrinking down to holding Clint and trading soft touches and kisses. It was comfort when he felt like he hadn’t had any comfort in months, and he was in no hurry to leave the bed or him. Rhodey wasn't looking at what waited for him outside right now. This was about taking care of what was right here.

There were serious conversations to be had. He knew that. Rhodey was even pretty good at those. But damn if he couldn’t bring himself to start one right now. He didn’t want to do anything to put that sadness back on Clint’s face. He knew the cozy bubble wasn't a long-term solution, but just once he didn’t think he could stand to be the one to break it.

--

Taking these moments for just them, to have softness and comfort with each other that they had been so desperately missing. He wanted to take care of Rhodey for a little while longer. As much as he put on the act for most of the world, he wasn't stupid. He knew they had things that had be to discussed, reality to face. Neither of them would really be able to rest until they'd settled at least some of it.

He was happy to press soft kisses into his skin and stay just as they were until his own restlessness kicked in. Tipping his head, he kissed him, soft and slow, a reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere. "I love you, Rhodey." That was the most important thing for them both to remember, he thought, because that could make the difference now that it couldn't before.

--

Rhodey had never thought of Clint as stupid. He also knew his partner knew him better than probably anyone, and he would know that his mind could never really settle if he didn’t have a plan. Some of it hinged on whatever happened in his next conversation with Tony, and Rhodey couldn’t fully predict what that would be.

There were things they could talk about though, things they needed to clarify between them. "I love you too, Clint," he said, soft but firm. It hadn’t changed things before, but it did now. He wasn’t going anywhere either. "We can't go back to how it was, babe," he murmured, pressing soft kisses against his skin. "How do you want to move forward?"

--

He would never be able to bring himself to just blindly hope. That wasn't responsible or realistic for someone with his life and experiences. He knew that Rhodey would have to contend with Tony on this, that how that whole thing went would determine so much that he wouldn't have a say in. It was part and parcel of what he'd agreed to when he had chosen Rhodey, when he'd gone and fallen in love with him despite himself.

His hand slid gently over the back of his neck, relaxed and happy under him despite the impending seriousness. "I know," there was no stopping the sadness at the loss of what they'd had, but there was a careful hope for what they could make instead. "I want to be with you, wherever and however we have to make that happen. I'm not letting you go again, Rhodey, and I'll stare Tony in the face and tell him that if I have to." He pressed his forehead to his lightly, "We lost enough time."

--

"No." His voice was gentle but firm. "That's exactly what I mean. We're not going back to me and Tony setting all the terms. He is going to be a factor, and I don't know what that's going to look like yet," he admitted. He couldn’t keep putting Tony ahead of Clint though, and that was on Rhodey to do better.

"But this is about you and me, Clint. I want to know what kind of life you want for us. What's the ideal scenario? We'll start with that and compromise where we have to." He wasn’t idealistic enough to think their best case scenario was going to work out, but it was a starting place to giving Clint more of what he needed.

--

He shook his head, "Oh no, that wasn't meant as me letting you. Not anymore. Either Stark deals with me being around, or he deals with sharing you in another way, because I won't be silent anymore." He knew he needed to talk to Tony, but he also wanted to make it very clear that he wouldn't be the way he was before. He wouldn't make him choose between them, not ever, but he was going to start pushing back when he felt he needed to. "It isn't fair to either of us if I don't speak up too."

Brushing his lips over his lightly, he met his eyes. "I want to live with you, to wake up with you and go to sleep wrapped up with you as often as we can. I want to build a whole life with you, Rhodey, that's about our happiness, together." He slid his thumbs gently over his cheekbones his eyes drifting over him before he said the next part. "Eventually, I hope I can marry you."

--

"Goddamn, baby. It's so sexy when you take charge." He grinned, nibbling gently at his collarbone. He was teasing a little, but it was true. He liked this version of Clint, who knew what he wanted and was prepared to fight for it. If his pants hadn't already been off, they'd have been well on their way. Not that he needed more reasons to find the man he loved attractive.

His breath shook slightly at the words, at those pretty eyes so serious and sincere on him. "I want to live with you too," he said softly, his heart giving a tug in his chest. He’d wanted it from the second Clint’s arms wrapped around him in the park. Going back to the tower and all the unhappiness it held for him here sounded unbearable after this. He could do it now, knowing it wasn't permanent.

His gaze went soft at the admission, something he'd only just started thinking about before everything went to shit. "I thought about it too, before all this," he said softly, a thumb brushing gently over his cheekbone. "But when I marry you, it's gonna be right. I've got some things to prove to you first."

--

He laughed softly before his breath hitched at the gentle press of teeth and he shifted playfully under him. Before, there had been every reason to stay okay with coming fourth place, and he was sure if it would have been better or worse if he'd started fighting for more before everything had happened. "Glad you like it, because you know it's going to cause some problems." It was just an acceptance of absolute facts.

There was no part of him that wanted to let Rhodey go back to the Tower, even if he knew that he had to. He wanted to keep him where he could protect his heart and make him happy. "Then we'll start with that, baby." It was a start on a life they could build, living together somewhere that wasn't in Stark's Tower or anywhere else they had to share each other with anyone else.

The way his eyes went soft sent his heart skipping before his words made it just stop altogether for a moment. He swallowed the knot that the words made rise in his throat and he had to close his eyes for a moment to pull himself together before opening them and meeting his again. "You thought about it?" The question was soft and he hated how unsure it came out, but that knowledge only added to the banked fury at everything they had lost. "You don't have to prove anything, Rhodey. I hope you know that."

--

Rhodey didn't have the answer to that either, and he tended not to torture himself with what ifs. They’d made their choices. They could only make different ones moving forward if they wanted things to change. "Not more than the ones we've already had." He'd already lost Clint. Whatever was next couldn’t be worse than what they’d already been through.

"We can start looking for a place as soon as tomorrow." Rhodey could live just about anywhere, and this would have been fine. He didn’t want Clint staying somewhere he'd been so unhappy though, didn’t want the sad memories lingering when they were trying to make a fresh start. He sure as hell didn’t want to live in Stark Tower anymore, hadn’t wanted to in the first place.

His fingers slid softly through his hair, soothing while he processed that. It wasn’t something they’d ever said out loud before, but that soft uncertainty still put a crack in his heart. He hated that he’d given him any cause to doubt himself, but it was more than fair. "Did I think about being with you forever? Of course I did, baby," he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I do though, to you and to me."

--

Gently, he ran a soothing hand over the back of his neck. At least they knew now exactly what not to do if they wanted their life together to work and survive through anything that came their way. "No, but it's still problems," he murmured. The worst had come to pass and they were still here, wrapped up in one another, even if it had taken painful time.

"I'd like that," he admitted quietly. He liked this place, but he'd lived through his pain and loneliness in it and he wasn't sure he could look around it and not remember every bit of it in more clarity than he wanted. He wanted them to have a fresh start. "I want us to have something that's ours, that we chose for ourselves," the words were quiet but firm, wanting that for them nearly desperately.

He didn't mean to hurt him any further with his uncertainty, with the ache in his heart that he knew would take time to fully go away. He tipped his head up into that kiss, the gentleness of him soothing that ragged piece that had risen. "One day," he was sure of that, "I believe in us, more than anything."

--

As tempting as all that soft skin was, he tipped his head up to look at him. He didn’t like anything that made Clint sound sad, even if that thing was him. Rhodey knew he wasn’t as immune as he pretended to be, but it was far from his natural state. His hand slid soft and soothing through his hair, eyes on those pretty blues. "I want all your problems, babe. You've taken on all of mine. I'm with you, whatever you need to do." Rhodey didn't need him to fight Tony for him, but if he had some things he needed to square with him, that was reasonable after everything they’d been through. He wouldn’t stop him.

"I like that. We can make a new start here." He gently kissed the corner of his mouth. He could see how badly he wanted it. Rhodey did too, but mostly he wanted to give Clint what he needed. He’d been too long without it already. Some things just hurt because they were true, and that wasn’t Clint’s fault. Rhodey would rather know than have him hide it, even when it was painful. "One day," he agreed softly. "I believe in us too, sweetheart." He wasn’t afraid they were going to break apart again so soon, not now when they were both working so hard to repair. But he didn’t want to go into something as important as marriage as a reaction to this disaster. He wanted it to be because they were both happy and ready and it was what they wanted.

--

A part of him was sad when all of the soft kisses stopped, loving the gentle affection and the reassurance in it. Rhodey wasn't who made him sad, not by a long shot. He had always been the one to make him nearly incandescently happy, despite everything else. Soaking up all of those gentle touches, it was easy to be soothed. "I just need to build my life with you. I've taken care of anything else that really matters," he assured him. He'd said what he needed to say to Tony before, it wasn't his fault it had fallen on deaf ears. He was sure that it would again if he reattempted, and he didn't care to try in that case.

"Exactly," he agreed, a soft sound of protest escaping him purely because he wanted a real kiss. He wanted to be more honest with Rhodey when he didn't like a choice, but he'd never wanted him to feel like he was getting in the way of the most important relationship he had. "We're going to be just fine. What do you want, baby?"

--

"We'll do that," he assured him softly. Rhodey, on the other hand, did need to have a conversation with Tony, if only to let him know that he was moving out and that he and Clint were giving things another try. It bothered him that he no longer knew how that would go, or if he would even care if he left. Before London, they hadn’t lived together in a long time anyway. He might be glad to see him go. It was who he was going with that had the potential to be an issue.

He chuckled softly, shifting closer again to kiss him properly, slow and lingering. He would always be glad to kiss Clint, as many as he could possibly want. He believed they could find a balance between being more open and managing Tony, although a lot of that depended on Tony's willingness to tolerate Clint being back in their lives. He knew his best friend wanted him to he happy; he wasn't a monster. He just hadn't been at his most reasonable lately. "I want to live with you. I don’t want to go back to the tower except to pack and talk to Tony." He kissed him again softly, thoughtful. "I think I want to spend less time fighting and more time having a life."

--

He knew that Rhodey would have to have a serious conversation with Tony, hated that he made it necessary at all by having been on the opposite side from them. The only thing that made him angry in all of this was how unsure he seemed over Tony, his reaction, and how much he seemed to dislike being in the Tower. He only ever wanted Rhodey to be happy, really, even if that had been without him, he could have lived with it.

A happy sound slid out of him at the kiss, a small smile making its way into it despite himself. They had months of lost kisses to make up for and he was all too happy to keep on going. He worried that Tony's unreasonableness was going to stick, that he wouldn't listen to anything that didn't suit his plans. Again. Maybe it was unfair of him, but he didn't have anything good to go on when it came to Stark. He brushed his hand gently along his neck as he listened to him, tipping his head to meet that kiss. "We can make all of that happen. There's more than enough people to protect London, and we can step back unless we're really needed."

--

Rhodey had been far from happy lately, but maybe worse was the way he’d convinced himself it was the only option. He’d brought it on himself, and he deserved to live with those consequences. He’d have clawed his way out of it eventually, probably, but Clint made the whole process faster and easier. He’d always made him happy, and Rhodey was clinging to this chance with everything he had.

He nodded, the words coming slowly, but he knew he could trust Clint with them. He trusted him with everything. "War Machine belongs to Tony. Might not be any heroing left for me, if this goes worse than I think." He wished he could say with confidence that it wouldn't come to that, but he didn’t know what Tony would or wouldn't do anymore. He’d made Steve drop the shield. Rhodey knew if he drew another fucking line in the sand and made him pick a side, he’d walk away from whatever he had to this time. He couldn’t keep living like this.

--

Clint stayed quiet and listened carefully, keeping his face clear of any fury or judgement at everything that had gone down. There was nothing sensible about it, not on any side, if he was being honest. Convictions, he could understand, but there had to be understanding, or at least empathy, too. He would give Rhodey a safe, happy place, as much as he was able, because he loved him and knew that he would do the same for him.

Gently, he rolled them, his knees settling on either side of his hips, his hands resting against his chest as he gazed down into that beloved face. "War Machine isn't what made you a hero, Rhodey," he murmured softly, shaking his head in denial of it. "You were a hero long before you ever put on that suit, and you'll stay a hero if Tony takes it away. You always tell me I'm no less because all I use is a bow and arrows. Why should you be any different, baby?" This, he would stand firm on, and he would go toe to toe with anyone who tried to tell him differently. "You are not made by anything that Tony Stark gave you or did for you. Not now. Not ever."

--

His hands wrapped around his waist as Clint’s familiar weight settled over him, thumbs gently tracing his hip bones. "I like it when you get fierce," he said with a soft smile. All teasing aside, though, he knew it was at least mostly true, even if it didn’t always feel that way. It was something he knew Clint could understand, how hard it was to be the lone humans fighting gods and monsters.

"I know that's not all I am," he assured him softly. War Machine was undeniably a part of him, one it would hurt to lose, but he would still be Rhodey without it. "I can't really bring guns to the fight, and I'm shit with a bow," he teased gently. "It's alright though. I can live without it." Having a life that included the Air Force and Clint in it sounded plenty good enough to him. He didn’t really believe he could have everything. Life just didn't work that way. He’d tried living without him and didn't care for it, so it was time to try something else.

--

He shivered at that soft brush of his thumbs, but he loved that smile on his face. Leaning down, he kissed him lightly in approval. "I'll always get fierce where you're concerned," he pointed out with a soft laugh of his own. He didn't have very much in his life that he insisted on defending and protecting, but Rhodey had been at the top of the list for a very long time now.

His hands slid gently over his chest, soothing and a connection for both of them to enjoy. "I don't know if Stark is so far gone to make you stop being War Machine, though," he admitted softly. It was no small thing for him to say because he had no reason to be in Stark's corner, not by a long shot. Reason wasn't something they had seen much of out of the man, but dealing with Rhodey was far different than dealing with Steve for him, and they all knew that. He hoped that his presence in his partner's life wouldn't make that much of a difference.

--

"I know," he said softly. Clint was fierce about protecting the people he chose to call his. It would be hard to find a more loyal friend. Rhodey was just grateful to still be on that list. He knew his partner didn't give up on people easily, but nothing about the Avengers' Civil War had been easy or small.

The hands on him were grounding, reminding him of what he stood to gain in all of this. He needed Clint back in his life. Living without him had been hellish. He’d just have to wait and see about the rest. "I don't either." There was more sadness in the words than he’d let out since he got here. It might have been manageable if he felt Tony was still on his side, but he barely recognized him right now. He didn’t trust himself to say what his best friend would or wouldn't do anymore. He didn’t know if he'd see this as a betrayal, if it would just push him further over the edge. Not knowing was a little worse.

--

It didn't matter how much he was gaining. The last thing in the world that Clint ever wanted was for Rhodey to be sad because of someone he loved and needed in his life. Hearing that sadness in his voice then yanked his heartstrings and he brushed his hands gently over his jaw. "Oh sweetheart," the words were soft and full of sad understanding. He would have been his own version of a mess if it had been him and Natasha, he knew.

"I'll be waiting close by when you go," he assured him. He knew better than to attempt stepping foot into that tower, but he wasn't going to let Rhodey just go, knowing how uncertain everything was. "No matter what, I've always got you." That much he could solemnly swear to because if this hadn't ripped them apart permanently, he'd make damn sure that nothing did.

--

"You don't have to do that," he assured him softly. He wouldn't fight him on it, but he didn't want Clint to have to do anything else that was hard for him either. It was enough knowing he got to come home to him, not just tomorrow, but every day for the foreseeable future. It was more comfort than he'd had since he got to London.

"I know, babe. I've got you too. We'll figure this out together." His hands ran gently along his back, enjoying the closeness. He could handle a lot with Clint by his side. He didn't want to lose Tony either, but he knew something had to change if they were going to continue. It shouldn't have taken him so long to act, but admittedly he hadn't been at his best lately.

--

"I know I don't, but I want to," he assured him gently. It wouldn't be hard for him to be close by while his partner did something that might not be easy. He wanted to take care of him, as much as he could, even in the little ways. If it meant that he was right there when Rhodey left with his stuff, it was even better.

"We will. I love you, Rhodey, and you and Tony will be okay." He had to have faith in that, for Rhodey's sake. He wanted him to have his best friend, to get through their rough patch the way that the two of them were going to. He would do a lot to support him to that end because he knew how much life could suck without that person and he didn't want it for him.

--

"Alright. We can grab my stuff and start looking at places, if you want." They’d lost too much time already. He didn’t want to waste any more in rebuilding their life together. Knowing he’d come home to Clint every day, fall asleep next to him, wake up in his arms, it was a bit of grace he hadn’t expected. He wasn’t going to let it go again.

"I love you too. I have you, Clint. I can handle a lot as long as that's true," he assured him, kissing him softly. He’d always thought that would be true with Tony too, but everyone had a breaking point. It had just taken him months to realize he was past his. He’d fight like hell to keep Tony in his life, but he couldn’t be the only one fighting.

--

"That sounds like a good way to spend our day," outside of how sideways Rhodey's conversation with Stark might go, that was. His hands slid gently over him, a comforting reminder that they were together and could stay that way. "What do you really want in a place?" It was a valid consideration for both of them, and he wanted them to work on the best footing.

"So can I," he agreed. Rhodey was the most stable thing in his world, even now, and he wanted to do that for him, if he could. He'd fight right alongside him, and he hoped that Stark could see reason. He hadn't before, and Clint wasn't really one to hope in the way some people were. But for Rhodey, he could do a lot that he normally wouldn't.

--

"It'll give me something to look forward to." He'd need it, knowing Tony as well as he did. He may not know exactly how he was going to react, but he knew parts of it weren't going to be pretty. The only question was in degree: a little sideways, or a full-on clusterfuck. Seeing reason hadn’t exactly been one of Tony's strengths lately.

"I don't even care," he chuckled softly, fingers sliding through his hair. Rhodey had never cared that much about his living space. He was military; he could make it work on practically nothing. His apartment in New York was middlescale, nice enough but not flashy. "I think we'd both be happier in the city than on the edges. Nothing too fancy. How about you?"

--

"We'll find a good place to go eat, too," he murmured, trying to make the best of what he knew was going to be a rough start to say the very least. He wanted to do everything he could to make it easier on him, if he could. He wasn't foolish enough to think that he could fix all of it, but he could try to soothe the ragged edges at the very least.

"You're allowed to start caring, though," he pointed out gently, "That's kind of the point of what we're doing, baby." Just because he'd lived that way for most of his life before didn't mean that it had to keep going. "Definitely need to be in the city or I"ll be bored out of my mind," he agreed. "Definitely not fancy." Fancy was nowhere near anything Clint could handle being in for too long.

--

"That'll take some doing. British food is kind of the worst." The corner of his mouth pulled up in a wry smile. They had a whole relationship to tea, pudding, and gravy that he didn't understand. It would have been funny if, you know, they hadn't been stuck here. The only good restaurants were the ones that featured food from other countries. Fortunately, London was a fairly big city, so they could find it if they looked.

"Alright, then. You answer that question and see how easy it is. Name one thing you want out of a place that we haven't already mentioned." His teeth scraped gently over soft skin with the teasing challenge. It was hard to go from a mindset of survival to actual living. He was way out of practice, since he wouldn't call what he'd been doing in London so far 'living.' He didn't want to just get by anymore, but it wouldn't change overnight.

--

He laughed, the sound freer and easier than any time he'd laughed in the last months, as rare as those had been. "I mean, that's true," he agreed, still shaking with chuckles under him, "They've got decent beer, though." It helped make up for it a little bit, but then he could live on absolute trash food and be alright. His opinion shouldn't be counted for a whole lot when it came to food.

The request made him smile a bit because he had thought about it, the scrape of his teeth making him shiver. "Not a studio, a place with separate rooms. Ruins sightlines for us, but minimizes echo for me," he admitted. There were times that the Tower and the Compound had felt like hell, all of the smooth, shiny, wide open spaces. He wanted to be able to relax, to enjoy the life that he and Rhodey wanted to build.

--

The sound of his laugh made something ache in his chest. God, he’d missed that. He’d missed everything about Clint, but hearing him happy like that in spite of everything meant a lot. It gave him hope that they really were going to be okay. His hand ran gently through his hair, his expression soft and affectionate. "Silver lining," he agreed, not caring about the food or the beer in the face of that happiness.

"Worth it," he said softly. He always wanted Clint to be comfortable. The reminder of how much his partner had compromised to stay with him was a slow twist of the knife, but it just meant Rhodey needed to do better now. He would. It was long past time that he made him a priority. At the very least, he should be able to relax in his own home.

--

He absolutely knew that they would be okay. They were back together in a world where he had never thought that could be the case. He had missed him, fiercely and desperately, but he hadn't been able to actually imagine a world where he got him back. That look on his face though, so soft and just for him, made his heart melt and firmed his convictions. "Exactly," he murmured, tipping his head to brush his lips over his.

He had made every single one of his choices in his life with Rhodey before, accepting a lot of things just so he could keep him. He hadn't cared where he had lived, as long as he'd had him close. Most places he had lived had been shit for him, long before they'd involved his partner too. "And really soft furniture," he mused, "I'm getting too old for anything else." His lips twitched with the teasing words.

--

Rhodey tried not to even think about him or their friends here. It hurt too much, and it was nothing he could change. He’d thought, anyway. Now, he wasn't so sure. Clint had forgiven him because he loved him, and he didn’t imagine the rest of the team would be so easy. But... Steve and Sam were the forgiving type. So was Thor. If he could repair that, even a little, then he wanted to try.

He gave a soft, teasing hum, lips skimming over his collarbone. "I think your stamina says otherwise, but you deserve some pampering." He’d love to spend some time just spoiling the shit out of Clint. They had a lot of time to make up for, a lot of sad weeks he’d like to replace with happier memories. "Big bed," he added after another moment's thought.

--

He knew that if Rhodey tried, if he reached out a hand to the right people, there was nothing permanently broken between him and the other Avengers. Their relationship, their choice to try again, would go a long way to helping with that, too, he knew. It wouldn't always be smooth or easy, but he knew that it was possible, and he would happily help him.

Laughing, he rolled them and sank against Rhodey with a teasing look. "I'll accept the compliment and the pampering," he grinned before tipping his head to kiss him. They both deserved a chance at some softness and happiness that wouldn't be interrupted at every turn. "With those really soft sheets that I like the way you look wrapped in," he agreed.

--

He wouldn’t have believed it was possible before today, but... a lot of things seemed possible now that hadn’t before. Rhodey didn't expect things to go back to the way they'd been, but for the first time he thought there might be a chance of building something new. The question was whether or not he'd ever get Tony to budge on that.

"You deserve both." He grinned back as Clint’s weight settled over him, smiling into that kiss. He hummed softly in approval. "Fluffy pillows," he added to the list in between soft kisses. The place they were describing sounded more like a home than anything he'd had in a long time. Not just a place to crash in between missions, but a place where they actually lived.

--

Feeling him smiling into their kiss served to relax him further. He had always loved knowing that Rhodey was that happy and that comfortable with him. "So do you," he murmured against his lips. His partner made him happier than anything else had for a very long time. "I want to take care of you and spoil the ever loving shit out of you."

He hummed happily at the idea of fluffy pillows. "Big screen tv for movie nights," he decided with a grin. He loved movie nights with him, wrapped up together on the couch with snacks and no responsibility but to simply enjoy it.

--

"As long as I can do the same," he chuckled softly, the sound warm and easier than he would have believed possible just a few hours ago. Clint had always had a way of making him feel safe and happy and comfortable. Next to Tony, he was the person he trusted most in the world, and Tony wasn't doing a lot on those three qualifiers lately. He knew his best friend was lost right now, but Rhodey had been lost too.

"Alright, baby. Sounds like a good start to me," he murmured, fingers sliding gently through his hair. He wanted Clint to have everything he wanted, even if it was hard to imagine it being a real thing right now. He wanted it so much, a life with him that was more about happiness and each other than the fight.

--

"I think that can be arranged," he mused happily. Hearing him laugh like that gave him hope for everything ahead of them. He wasn't always the most responsible of people to most, but he would always guide Rhodey home when he needed it. Figuring out a way to give him a home, a happy place, that was just the start of it for them this go round.

He sank into those soft pets with a content sound and kissed him, slow and lingering. "We can always build as we go," he murmured, knowing that they couldn't do it all in one go. It was as much a promise that this was going to last and he was going to do everything to make it work.

--

Clint might drink his coffee straight out of the pot, but he wasn’t irresponsible with people. Rhodey had never felt like he wasn’t in safe hands with him or like his thoughts and feelings weren't valued. He was home, and he wasn’t planning to give that up again any time soon.

He wanted all of those slow, sweet kisses to make up for the ones he'd missed. "I like that," he murmured against his lips, unable to resist a soft nibble. "I want to build a home with you, Clint." It didn’t matter that it would take time. It was better that way, really, since then they’d know it was real and stable and just what they wanted.

--

There was no reason they couldn't spend plenty of time on slow, sweet kisses if that was what they wanted to do. He certainly had no objections to it and was looking forward to every single one of them. There was no way he couldn't love this man, every bit of softness and kindness he gave him only adding to it.

A soft sound escaped him at the press of teeth and he shivered lightly. "And we're going to," he promised firmly. That much he knew for absolute certain because it was what they both wanted and there was no reason for them to not have it, not anymore. "I love you, and I want to spend every day showing you that."

[izzysarchivedblogs]

This is, perhaps, the closest and most he has ever came to family. THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY. That was still something, even after an anniversary celebrated, he was wrapping his head around the fact that they were HIS. Clint look up at the happy face of Peter Parker, the way his eyes are falling on his own face.

His heart pounds, it always does when he is met with looks of love that he gets from his boyfriend and Mayday, which the holiday (now he was seeing it as a family holiday more and more) was around the corner. ❝ I mean ⸻ it doesn't feel real sometimes. ❞ THAT HE GOT SO LUCKY.

Things were turning up roses in his life, and he was working to make this happen. Be a good boyfriend, be a good bonus person in Mayday's life. ❝ So you do own up to being a worm, and yes, BABE, as the kids would I would still love you if you were a worm. ❞

❝ Really, a favorite? You will have to tell me more. ❞

He'll take Peter catching his drift as the signal to move closer, going to pull the other man inwards to him. He takes a few step forward to him, hand going to Peter's hips. Resting on them, giving a squeeze as he does than his head is dipping to rest his forehead to his. ❝ You don't just gets scraps with me. ❞ Yeah, he knows Peter was talking about the candy.

However, if Peter was going to be sappy than Clint was going to be sickeningly sweet with him as well. YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME YOU'LL SMILE. The archer smirks, favoring the side of his lip with the scar. ❝ Only if you make me smile ⸻ hint, not that hard to do. ❞

HOW DID HE GET SO LUCKY?

It was a question that Peter was honestly CONVINCED that he would just never know the answer to. Though if he was entirely honest? He didn't really need the answer. He was happy with just EXISTING in the moment for once in his life and enjoying the little family that he had managed to CREATE for himself.

"Yeah! What? Did you really think we would go without you??"He needed Clint to understand just how SILLY such a thought was. He was just as much as part of this family as the rest of them were at this point. "Pssh! I'm not THAAAT worm shaped!"

He caught that.. he did.. and oh how it made his heart do little FLIPS!

"Ooo FAIR POINT your stinger is a FAVORITE of mine." Peter smirked, his eyes never leaving Clint's, because MAN was he lucky! "It's a deal. I"m happy to take whatever scraps I can get my hands on if it means I get to be with you." Was Peter being UNNECESSARILY sappy? Absolutely. Did he have any plans on stopping? ......UNLIKELY.

"We are gonna have to take SO MANY pictures, and you have to promise me you'll smile okay?"

[gh0stlygen0]

Marvel Characters reactions to asking if they'd still love you if you were a worm

─── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Warnings: None!

Characters featured: Tony, Steve, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Natasha, Clint, Scott, Stephen, Peter, T'Challa, Vision, Wanda, Sam, Bucky

Genre: Comedy

Reader's Gender: Male aligned

Reader's Age: Not specified!

─── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Tony: "A worm? Ew no, I would step on you and watch you squirm under my shoe for fun and leave you to burn on the concrete."

Steve: "A worm?... As in the bug?.. Why would you be a worm?.."

Bruce: "What kinda question is that?"

Thor: "Loki is a two faced snake and I still hold him dear to my heart, of course I would love you if you were turned into a worm!"

Loki: ".... Pardon?.."

Natasha: *starts laughing at how fucking stupid the question is and doesn't answer after laughing for a straight 5 minutes, walking away while shaking her head and giving you a few pats on your shoulder before leaving, still laughing*

Clint: "No."

Scott: "Oh my god a worm?! Of course I would!! We can be Ant-Man and Worm-guy! Most kickass duo on the block."

Stephen: "I draw the line at bugs, I'll pass.."

Peter: "A worm? I mean..."

*thinks about it for a second*

"I guess so? You'd still be you, just- really small, and pink... And squishy and slimy... And- I'll stop, sorry."

T'Challa: "... Are you feeling alright? Have you eaten today? Did you get enough sleep?.."

Vision: "I'm not quite sure I understand what you're trying to ask. Why are you a worm?"

Wanda: *small laugh*

"Of course. I'd be right behind you turning into a worm as well. We can be happy worms together."

Sam: *stares at you with a blank face*

"Is that a serious question."

Bucky: *silence for a few seconds as he furrows his brows*

"... Huh?"

─── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

[thatoneacecryptid]

My Favorite Things About Every Arc of The Adventure Zone (so far)

I recently finished TAZ Ethersea and really want to just talk about all of the lovely characters that the boys have given us. Feel free to add your own in whatever ways you see fit.

Fair warning, this may be long folks

! There are potentially spoilers for every arc ahead so read at your own risk gang !

Balance

Magnus: Magnus Burnsides’ whole journey throughout the campaign is wonderfully heartbreaking. Protector of a family he did not remember who also harbors a heartache for his second family that he lost. Travis was teased for having a bible of a backstory but I think in Magnus’ case it was entirely essential. So much of that background informed everything about Magnus and his constant protection of everyone (and every animal) around him makes so much sense narratively as well as mechanically and I think Travis did a phenomenal job. 

Taako: Taako is a very deep character with a lot of complexity that you wouldn’t know based on everything about him and I do not want to downplay that at all, however, my favorite thing about Taako is simply the aesthetic and the vibes. A king, an icon. We love to see it.

Merle: My favorite thing about Merle is his capacity for love and goodness. He always choses the path of love and joy and its incredibly important. For goodness sakes he asked the BBEG if they were friends. A sweetheart.

Favorite NPC: Angus McDonald

My favorite section of this season in particular has to be Eleventh Hour, the aesthetics were great, the concept was super cool and we got so many cool moments out of it. 

See You Later is my favorite track from the season followed by Purple Worm.

Balance is such a labor of love and you can feel it through every part of the story and it never loses any luster no matter how many times you relisten to it.

Amnesty

Aubrey: Aubrey Little is a badass and that is incredibly important but I think what I like most about her is that she screws up a lot. I don’t mean that I like that she’s a failure, what I mean is that she isn’t perfect. A lot of the time when playing games like these, there is a tendency (for some, certainly not all, we stan flawed characters in this house) to create do-gooder characters that have perfectly mastered their skills and perfectly save the day. Aubrey is not that. She makes mistakes all the time and recognizes that. The scene where she asks Janelle to take her magic away hits me every time because she thinks, and to a degree rightfully so, that she is a danger to those around her and she would rather give up her super cool magic fire powers than continue to do that. She continues to try and learn how her powers work and how to properly use them so it works out, but the moment was there. Aubrey Little has these incredible powers at her disposal but she is only human and I love her journey to pieces.

Duck: I relate to the tired vibes harder than I probably should for the age I am but that’s probably okay. A reluctant chosen one is an incredibly interesting idea that I am super proud of Justin for coming up with. Duck’s destiny scares the living crap out of him and his reaction, though strange in a narrative format, would most likely be how a regular person would react to being given a grand cosmic destiny where you have to actually fight evil monsters. Duck is amazing and I love him.

Ned: Ned is hilarious but also, his entire arc during the Shapeshifter hunt was incredible. The letters still make me cry to this day. Its always super fascinating when a character who appears to be (as much as you can in an RPG) comic relief at the beginning, get incredibly serious further down the line. Ned cared so much about his friends and I am so glad that Griffin gave Clint the opportunities to take over the narrative for a little while to give us those speeches.

Thacker: A goofy guy with some really weird snacks. Thacker was not Ned that is for sure but, he was a very nice inclusion. I always like explorer characters and Thacker is interesting, having explored somewhere dangerous, suffering the consequences but coming back with valuable information for the team.

Favorite NPC: Barclay

My favorite hunt is the Hunt for The Beast, it is the first one and there is so much else in the season to love but the aesthetics and vibes of this one were incredible. My favorite section of narration comes from the end of the third episode! “Which looks up at the sky, and then, with otherworldly malice, back down at the three of you...”

Amnesty’s and Graduation’s theme songs are tied for my favorites, they both make me smile so much.

The Amnesty Lodge themes are some of my favorite pieces of music ever. Never has any music ever made me feel as comforted as those two songs do.

This season’s vibe, setting, aesthetics, characters and inspirations are exactly my niche interest so, as much as I love all of the seasons of TAZ, Amnesty is by far my favorite.

Commitment

Nadia: We love a girl boss. 

Kardala: I like the research that Justin did into creating the character, and in classic Justin fashion, made her the funniest character in the arc.

Remy: He’s such a little guy. Remy is a springy little spiderman-esque guy who just wants to save the day.

Favorite NPC: N/A

Commitment is not my favorite of the seasons but I do like what Clint did with it, the story was unique and interesting.

Dust

Errol: A werewolf who wanted to president? Are you kidding? I love this little guy! I really liked that Errol lived in town but didn’t necessarily fall in line with the werewolf pack there. Him, instead, having a street that he looks after and protects is such a nice image. That and his whole attitude and semi-awkward personality, Errol was very easily my favorite of the bunch (not that I didn’t love the others)

Augustus: Augustus was an excuse for Justin to be hilarious with a ridiculous voice and I loved it. 

Gandy: Her enthusiasm for many of the situations that arose during the investigation was really nice. 

Favorite NPC: The Banshee

I loved this one! I continue to hope that they go back to Dust and even though that is unlikely, I still really liked the ideas behind this mini arc. A western, taking place at night, where werewolves and vampires make appearances, along with a whodunnit mystery taking place all at the same time? Sign me up! (Once again, an arc very much within my niche)

Graduation

Fitzroy: A king, honestly. Fitzroy is hilarious and such an interesting concept for Griffin to play. The voice and the vibes are immaculate and I am so proud of this boy’s progress. Also, he’s ACE!!!

Firbolg: He’s so 🥺. That’s the best I can articulate my thoughts.

Argo: My boy! Argo is such a sweet little guy who, just like his fellow roomies, did not deserve any of the bad things that had happened to them. Argonaut Keene is an absolute sweetheart and I wish him the best post canon fics. His voice and aesthetic are great. Also, he’s the first PC rogue! My class (and favorite subclass)!

Favorite NPC: Althea Song

School campaign!!! These boys deserve the very best and I loved every second of their journey. The entire campaign I was either aww-ing at the sweetness of the moments or cheering on these boys’ hairbrained schemes. 

Ethersea

Devo: Devo’s accent is wonderful and I also really like how concerned he was about taking care of Beck and Skittles as well as his speech about saving the animals for future children to see and learn about. That speech in general got me to tear up a little bit given the state of our real life world.

Amber: I love sharks and I do not wish to see any harm come to them, however, the blink shark hunter thing coming back from the prologues was very funny and a welcome inclusion. It brought us some really cool moments with said sharks and I appreciated that. I also really liked how strong she was in her own opinions. No one was going to make her move. Not to mention the vibe checks were always awesome.

Zoox: Zoox’s journey of self discovery was very cool. I love that our little Brinar ended up being something all their own.

Favorite NPC: Ol’ Joshy

What I think was most interesting about this season, beside the looming fear of anything being out there in the depths of the ocean, was that the boys made this world together. This was not something that one of them made for the purposes of the others playing in it. They played a separate game to make the world they would be playing in. It was intensely collaborative and I think that was really cool. 

Cannot wait to see what’s next!

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hi <3 I'm not sure if you're comfortable writing this but I'll try :) Smth where Buckys girlfriend suffers from a lung illness and normally he supports her whenever she feels bad, but one time he's on a long mission where he cant be there when he struggles breathing. Then the other Avengers at the compound take her to the hospital and call Buck who immediately rushes home to be by your side and it's all cute and fluffy in the end? :) Thank you very much <3

Trapped Air

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | whilst on a mission, you suffer with your breathing problems, leaving all to panic as you have air trapped in your lungs.

Warnings | breathing problems, angst, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of torture

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

There had been no call back from Bucky; he was on a mission far away, and deep undercover, and the fact that you had no response did not surprise you, however, it was impossible not to feel overcome with worry.

From what you knew, he was somewhere in Austria with Steve, and most likely irritated by the company of Sam. The thought of them together, waiting for further intel made you smile, and so you sat up on the sofa; the place where you had fallen into a rural slumber late the previous evening. That thought also made you lightly snicker to yourself, and had you grasping your chest in agony at the action.

You adjusted your seat on the sofa, kicking the blanket under your legs as you tried to relax your entire body. To subdue the worry for your love that you had and were experiencing, you and Nat had watched a movie, your head running with thoughts of the danger that your boyfriend was possibly under.

It was no doubt that James Buchanan Barnes, the White Wolf and former Winter Soldier was a fine fighter; he had endured and survived wars, achieving victory in the vast majority of his battles. But still, he was nothing more than a man, with a veil of serum coursing through his veins, and whilst it made him much stronger, he was still sustainable to injury, and worse.

Countless times had you seen him braised in bruises, and kissed along the seam of his scars, and though he had lived through decades, and still appeared unscathed considering the circumstances, he was a mortal man, able to die and it was far too clear for your scared eyes that he wouldn’t be able to survive every fall.

An emptiness peeled away inside of you as you placed the phone down, resting your head upon the arm of the sofa of where you had done so priorly. Taking a deep breath, you wheezed, feeling nothing more than internal pain, and it was not just for your longing to see Bucky again. It was indeed something else, a condition that you had grown used to over the years.

It had taken everything from you; the job that you had so well partook in was diminished to being unsuitable for your health. Being an avenger had once been your only purpose, but it had been the one thing that had broken you. From all the rubble and other pesticides that you had breathed in, it had tampered with your lungs, and made you to be nothing more than a victim, a fallen hero.

The worse thing about being fallen in such a way was that you had not died on the job, instead, you were being tormented every time you watched your friends leave the compound, carrying a duffel bag that had all the necessities that they could possibly need for the gruelling months ahead on the missions that they had been sent on.

Knowing that if you weren’t so inwardly broken and that if that were the case, you could have easily accompanied Bucky and the others on their uncover op made you feel worthless, and disposable. As your chest raked the air that surpassed its roots, it waded a feeling through every limb that was attached to you.

Large gulps from the air machine that was beside you usually helped, but as your brought the medically introverted oxygen mask to surround the lower half of your face, the torturous sensation failed to fade. It remained, stuck in the collapse of your airways, refusing to allow air into your defined bloodstream.

The factor alone had you panicking, and as you went to stand, there was a pounding fire coursing through your head. Your eyes got dreary, fluttering as you reached out to grasp for the side of the seating area to stabilise your steps. But it wasn’t enough, all of your weight leant to one side, and a loud and colossal smash echoed through the room.

You helplessly laid there, having no ability to get up, as the shards of the glass table that had tried to break your fall, and had ended up breaking instead, stabbed mercilessly into the canvas of your back. It made you feel like a dartboard, free to the attempts of anything that put a bet on to try. This was your final fall from greatness, and if you weren’t to survive this, that would be o-

“Y/n.” A voice rushed out, as footsteps scrambled to come to your side. The silouhette of a blurry man knelt beside you, sickened with their own scheme of panic. “Nat!” He called out towards the kitchen, you hearing the pitter patter of her assumed footsteps that were toed in competent heels.

“Clint, what happened?” She asked, but giving him a break to compose his answer as she called warily out for FRIDAY, relieved when the AI answered her order. “Get one of Stark’s cars ready to go to the hospital, inform who needs to know. Y/n’s just had a nasty fall, and I assume more.”

“She was like this when I got in here.” Was the archer’s delirious response. His hands raised your head out of the cracked pieces, gently picking the sharp crystals out of your hair. He was sick with worry, he knew that you were touring a difficult road, one that no one else on the team could fathom to understand, but despite all that, he was still there for you, as were the numerous others.

Wearing his priceless suit, Tony rushed into the room, his brown eyes blown wide as he scoped the scene. “She’s losing consciousness.” Nat informed the pair, focusing on how your eyes barely had the strength to stay open. Your breathing was laboured, and the choke emitting from it was audible, making all witnesses wince from the threatening sound.

“My car is ready, on our way to the ER, give Barnes a call.” He held the keys to his vehicle, swinging them around his finger, as he watched Clint and Natasha hoist you up, and support you through the journey to the front of the compound. Nat stroked your hair as she bit back her own tears, combing tenderly through the slightly bloody tresses to soothe her own present anxiety.

The mission was turning out to be a bust, they were tracking Zemo after his great escape; hence why their departure was classified. It was unknown why the once Baron of Sokovia had fled to the country, but all prior intel had supported the idea that he was searching for a partner to help finish his work, if he were to ever get caught by the American government again.

Bucky hated being away from the place that had slowly become his home. It made him feel lost, but if he wanted to remain within said area to continue his life, he had to follow Fury’s orders, or else the panel that had granted him freedom for all his past actions, may happen to change his mind.

The gig of being an avenger was more of Steve’s expertise, he was loved by the country, and had never tried to break its order down piece by piece. Before he was cleared to join the team, and the debate that lead to Steve and Tony siding against one another, he was nothing more than a tense ghost story.

All knew he was real, but most were too scared to admit that the Winter Solider was an assassinating figure in existence. To everyone’s dismay now, following rule number two, he was no longer HYDRA’s pet weapon. He, for the first time in his life, had some kind of clarity on who he was.

His identity, was James Bucky Barnes, the White Wolf, the protector of the world and a renounced ally of Wakanda. And he was happy to be known as such, in a way, the new him cleared his red ledger, and that faded away with that damned red book.

No one had the power to control his mind again, all of his actions were now completely up to him. At first, with the reign over himself, he had been unsure on how to start with this new and invented soldier that he had become. He was no longer taking refuge behind the facade of T’Challa’s country anymore, for he was no a wanted man of the state.

But Sam enjoyed prodding at his ‘cyborg brain’, driving him to certain frustration. Though, it did not matter as much, for he found the peace he had been searching for after that little bit of calm that he had experienced on his hideaway.

You. A retired avenger, that had kicked his ass, and continued to brag about it to this day, when he was under Pierce’s demeaning orders. Though, it saddened him, to have the knowledge that you no longer had the ability to pin him down on a training mat, or throw his best friend’s shield in his silent face.

There was no longer an ignition of strength to fight left within you, you were weak from the condition that had and was holding you hostage in its devastating grasp. The debts of your god deeds had wormed their way through your body, destroying it bit by bit.

Whenever he was away, missing the presence that you had once accompanied him with, he was unable but to do anything but worry about your struggling health. He feared that one day, he would get a call claiming that you had experienced a traumatic accident, and as he sat in the small and cluttered motel room, the vibrancy and life that his phone was off putting had him nervously on edge.

“It’s Fury.” He claimed to his rugged partners, putting the man that had regained control of his empire on loud speaker, awaiting for the patch wearing associate to respond to his acceptance of the call. A moment of silence had him standing, the next, caused him to pace. Steve frowned, well aware that Fury only went silent, and did not barking affirmative orders when something had happened.

That man was an absolute whore for the dramatics, he had even faked his own death on multiple accounts. There was nothing the man could fathom not to do, and this sure as hell, in the name of Goose, was not the first instance he had informed his recruits of shocking factors. Steve remembered when the dark clothed man informed him that he was in the 21st century, and to this day, it remained to be the greatest shock that he had experienced.

The second had got to be the reveal of Bucky’s survival, that heart stopping moment had gone in slow motion, as the soldat whipped his unmasked face around to face his opponents, and he was quickly recognised. You had been there to ease the confusion and the humongous shock that wired his brain. And not to mention, to soothe the wave of emotions, you had prompted at jokes at about kicking his best friend’s fine ass.

That had only been the start to a long road ahead, it had all seemed like your quad of rebelling would go on forever. Sam Wilson was your best friend, and the first to be told of your failure to continue your raids on missions, and to say that he was holding back fountains in his eyes, was a casual understatement. The Falcon had felt angry at himself for not realising the increase in coughs that fled from your sassy mouth, or how quickly you would get tired.

He put some of that blame upon himself, claiming that he should have been the first to notice the signs. It was his idea, before your struggles were revealed to anyone else, to refuse your aid on missions, which lead to conspiracies from the team. For a couple of weeks, the members that you had fought alongside for so long had speculated that you were pregnant,and even Bucky had even began to fall for that idea.

In the end, they had all wished for that to be true, a child would be a gift, whereas instead, you were bestowed with a curse. Sam had offered for you to stay with Sarah and the kids, but upon your insistence, you remained in the compound, organising files and watching cinematic classics for the thousandth time.

But anyone could see, that every time they discussed the missions, of left to endure them, your face fell, appeased by the thought that you’d never share that experience again. They all tried to distract you, Thor had even taken you on a vacation to New Asgard so that you could relax and play video games with Korg, yelling frustratedly at Noobmaster69 as the kid tried to spite your friend and his gaming skills.

That though, had not ended well, and instead, the noise had brought you insufferable pain, and you had to be taken home. But what was home anymore? You hardly felt as though you belonged upon the army of your friends, or the guardians that they were aligned with.

And so, it was very understandable why Bucky was inclined to worry. All his dragged our life, he had watched people die, or awakened from cryo to find them gone, and the split moments that he were required on missions, was another moment that he had lost with you.

He gulped as he waited for Fury to say something, anything! And when he did, he wished that he could go back in time, and stop you from ever having been an avenger. “It’s agent Y/L/N, something has happened...”

It had been hours of no news, and Stark tapped his well dressed foot. He had requested, - no, insisted the best doctors to tend to your internal and external injury, claiming that if your condition was made any worse, he would personally make sure that they never tended to another patient again.

He was not usually one to be so aggressive, but he feared loss, it was a great flaw and attribute of his. Possibly, in some people’s judgemental eyes, he cared too much, but he never thought so. To him, the billionaire was human, no matter what the citizens over the world thought of him.

Sure, he wore an iron suit to protect the world, but beneath all the metal, he had a heart. And he’d be damned sure that he used it, and that it beat for a purpose. Natasha and Clint were either side of him, the assassins on her phone as she read the captain’s well written message.

“They’ve entered the country.” She spoke, referring to Sam, Bucky and Steve. It was a relief that they were going to be here soon, then they’d all look sane in comparison to Barnes. It was doubtful that he was holding himself together well, these hours had been torture to all of them, but he had actually been tortured in multiple gruelling occasions, but it was nothing in comparison to this.

One of the country’s best and devoted doctors opened the door to the room that you were being stabilised in, leading to all eyes waiting outside to stare hopefully at him. It was an intimidating thing, to have three avengers leaving him with one of their owns lives in his hands, he was not a hero. But to them, he was to be, they trusted him and the various recommendations that had suggested that he would be best suited to the deed.

The fact that he was the man in charge in this situation was to be great steak in his career, though, he would never be able to anyone, not even family, that he had saved the life of an avenger. Due to doctor patient confidentially, he was bribed into silence by the philanthropist himself, who was certain that he was fine for paying for the entire service himself.

Money had no importance to Tony, not as his friend was the patient that could have died. The man removed his sunglasses, sternly looking up at the kind doctor with pleading and urgent eyes, wanting to scoop every detail that he could from the eccentric medic. “How is she?”

The doctor gulped, well aware that there was a weight apparent on his shoulders, even when delivering any news. But this, was a whole new experience, he knew that you, the woman hoisted up in the hospital bed, had saved his coursing during the battle of New York. He was grateful, for everything that you had done, but simultaneously, felt the need to be careful with any tactic that he used to save your life.

“Well,” he licked his dry lips, watching as the Black Widow herself stared into his soul, “she’s stable, for now. And it would be okay if one of you went in, she’s currently in the midst of waking up. However, she is going to be unable to give much in the verse of a conversation, the oxygen mask that she’s wearing has to stay on, and it will not be a good if she tries to waste the breath she’s being given to talk.”

He was interrupted by the sound of competent running down the hall, it was as though the men dressed in their gear ignored the no running rule. But it was understandable, seeing as Bucky’s eyes were wild and wide, as he came to a stop and asked what was going on. Clint stood, bracing a hand upon his shoulder, before informing him the details they had just been given. “I think you should be the first to see her.”

Bucky didn’t argue with Clint, and instead, walked into the room, ensuring that he shut the door behind himself. He smiled painfully at the sight; there were so many tubes, and all the surrounding machines were lit up with statistics that he did not understand. Nevertheless, he looked towards the vacant seat beside your bed, and claimed it for his ass that you had once kicked.

Your eyes watched as he looked down upon you, your hands reaching to remove the mask, but he placed his hand upon your own, and replaced them to be upon your chest. “Shush darling, no talking, doctor’s orders.” He spoke, rubbing your cheek with his right hand, feeling the corner of the mask against the inside of his palm.

“Had me so worried doll, thought I was gonna lose you.” At the thought, a grimace presented itself of his woeful face, and to comfort him, you placed your fingers around his own, absentmindedly playing with them as you listened to his sincere voice. “On the way here, I spoke to Shuri, we are going to see if she can help you in anyway, as long as you’re okay with that. Does that sound good baby?”

Fluttering your eyelashes as you looked through their webbed curtain to stare lovingly at him, you nodded your head, ignoring the spiteful pains that emitted from where the glass had shallowly penetrated your scalp. “Alright, I’ll let her know. And I was thinking...” he waited for a moment to continue, being encouraged by the crease between his brow line.

“What if we stay in Wakanda, and we leave all this behind? We can still see people when they visit, and we can just, have some calm to ourselves. No missions, no aliens to fight, and no Zemo to chase. Or I was thinking, we go and live by Sarah, you love those kids, they’re basically your nephews, and we could take boat rides during the middle of the night, and help the people who live there, and...”

At his rambling, you smiled beneath the plastic system that was around your mouth, listening to him talk and talk about your future together. Yes, you missed missions, but you would give all that up for a normal and easy life, with Bucky Barnes.

[bolontiku]

"No Forgiveness"

Quick Fic - Chapter 4

Characters: Loki, Reader, Clint, others mentioned, oc!Declan

Posted: July 9th

A/N: Oh... Oh no. Oh NO. I AM SO SORRY.

WARNINGS: soft!loki, mentions of beatings, physical violence, violence, betrayal, idk if I missed anything.

Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.

**Please Do Not Repost My Work**

Green eyes followed the length of your body. The thick blanket had been a favorite of yours once upon a time, now it had been dragged out of storage by Clint to help calm your nerves. Loki knew it had been the right choice to have him by your side, the two of you had been fast friends.

Loki trailed his fingertips along your exposed ankle, there was a scar there that hadn't been there before. He knew, he had traced every inch of your body with his lips, fingertips and eyes. He pursed his lips, anger burning deep within him, you were supposed to be treasured…

The memory of you jumping earlier made him tense, fingers shackling around your ankle. 

You were not supposed to be afraid of him. 

Never of him.

There was an odd feeling emanating from his chest. He ran his free hand over it, shoulders shifting and lifting, head shaking. He looked away, what was he to say when you woke? He had barely spent any time with you in the last two days and here he had frightened you when you had come to him for help.

He had waited till Clint came out, your stifled cries making it past the bedroom door where he had hoovered after telling the others what they were to do. Clint had told him you had finally calmed and fallen asleep.

Declan was in hiding. 

But soon. 

There was no one that could hide from Natasha, let alone the other three. Ruthless and determined, women that could kill even him. Loki grinned, satisfied in his knowledge that no matter where that excuse of a worm was, he would be found. 

".. Loki?"

He started, eyes flying to your face as you sat up gingerly, wrist still wrapped, ribs possibly still aching. Your eyes moving from his face to the hand around your ankle. "Y/N…" Loki struggled to find words, any words, all he could do was trail his hand a little further up your leg. How many times had he done that before? How many times had it ended with a soft sigh escaping your lips?

Your bottom lip quivered slightly, your uninjured hand wiping at your still puffy eyes. "I'm sorry!" That same hand covered your face, as if you could hide from everything. From him?

It was a harsh whisper and it nearly broke him, he moved to sit by you as you whimpered and wept quietly, shoulders shaking with your sobs. Gently he caught at your wrists, keeping his voice low he tilted his head till he managed to get you to look at him. "You are apologizing when that is what I should be doing my dove?"

"I thought-?" You dropped your gaze. You had made a choice without discussing with him, you had acted alone, you had lost his trust. And yet here he was speaking so softly to you, after everything you had been through it was a soothing balm that you desperately needed. The sharp bark of Declans voice cut through your memories, never a kind word, never a loving phrase and yet here Loki was giving you that.

Loki grunted softly when you threw yourself at him, pressing your face to his chest, words of apology spilling out of you. He took a moment, cocking his head to the side so that he could smell your shampoo, yes you had showered and changed yet he had the smallest inkling Clint had gotten his hands on the strawberry shit that you enjoyed. Loki took another moment to feel you pressed against him, slowly wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you clung to him.

You couldn't stop the tears, you had been afraid of coming back, of facing him, but you had also come so far that you were certain Declan was on the verge of outright killing you. And if you were going to die then you had to see him one more time, even if he had kicked you out. But he hadn't. Loki would never turn his back on one that needed help. You should have remembered that.

"Loki? I need to go back, I can and then those pictures-!!" You spoke hurriedly, the words muffled against his solid shoulder. A pair of shoulders you had once clung to like right now, nails digging in, teeth sinking in when he filled you. 

He pulled back to meet your gaze, thumb and forefinger gripping your chin. "No." You made to protest and he leaned in, pausing, giving you ample time to deny him. 

The feel of his lips on yours dragged a soft sob from you, his large hand slipping to the back of your head, he shifted moving closer as you sighed into the kiss. Lips you had dreamed of, lips you had almost forgotten, lips you had clung to, a memory of blissful happiness. Loki's kisses always made you forget to breathe, the way they felt against your skin as he mapped your body with them, following the trail of his hands, leaving behind flickering flames of desire that tightened the coil in your belly. 

The way you softened under him, your hands gripping his collar, readily, greedily, hungrily opening up for him. It was easy to forget, the hurt he had felt when you had left, the years of emptiness, ignoring the betrayal he felt. But now, guilt cut through him and he pulled away. "Pictures?" His mind caught up with what you were saying and he tampered down the instinct to growl, instead kissing your lips once more. Loki pressed his forehead to yours, smiling as you looked a little dazed, a little pride lifting his heart. Did you still love him? You had done this in order to protect him. The pain you went through for him and he felt he should tread lightly. "That is for me to take care of-"

"Loki! I could try harder, get them and then come back!"

He tipped your head back, eyes dark, expression serious, "you have done enough my love," he watched as your eyes watered. Yes, he would be the first to say it. This time, he would not back down, nor would he fear if you loved him or not. He would tell you plainly, without doubt, so that you understood and never doubted him. "You are to forget it. Heal, sleep, eat and follow Clint around. No one touches what is mine, understood?"

He loved you. The relief was immense. 

"Tell me about this, everything you know." 

You nodded, tongue slipping out to swipe over your lips. "Declan said someone you trusted gave him the photos. I didn't want to believe it, but… it was you."

"Just me?"

You shook your head, "Natasha was beside you, and I am pretty sure Steve is in them but not as clear as you two." 

Loki nodded, "is that all?"

"There were a few, but its been so long since I actually have seen them. He keeps them locked away with the negatives. Im sorry, I tried to get to them but.." But he had caught you and that hadn't been pretty, it had been early on and one of the first of many beatings that left you unconscious.

Loki watched as your eyes fell, he brushed his knuckles along your cheek, fingers under your chin gently lifting your head so that you met his gaze. "I swear to you, for every tear he made you shed, for every time he laid hands on you, I will wring every ounce of blood that creeps through his pathetic being."

"LOKI!" you caught him as he moved to stand, "p-please!" His eyes fell on your hands wrapped around his arm. You jerked back, "sorry."

He did it again. Closing his eyes he took in a steady breath, "I have wanted so long to have you here again and you are afraid of me." Carefully he moved to sit again, "tell me, what can I do to sooth your fear?"

*

Clint knocked before opening the door, he was met with Loki's gaze and you half sprawled atop the long limbed man. As if he had never seen the boss kill a man with no more than a glance. 

"Sir, they are here."

Loki nodded and gently extracted himself from under you. Carefully tucking the covers around and under you, he placed a lingering kiss to your forehead. He would be back soon and once you were healed enough he would take his time reminding you just how you were supposed to be treated. 

*

The day came when Declan was unable to find you. Rage. You belonged to him and you were nowhere to be found. When you got back he would beat you within an inch of your life. He would remind you who he was, he would have his way with you until you were a sobbing wreck and then he would beat you.

He chuckled already satisfied with his decision.

Except you didn't come back.

Or the next day. 

Life had been rather easy for Declan, the nephew of the mayor, making detective. He had always gotten the woman he wanted. Until he met you. 

It had been the first time at the little coffee shop and he had stood behind you in line. Pretty little thing. He just had to know your name, but you ignored him. Ignored him. How dare you?

Of course he found out who you were, where you worked, and he saw the Odinson touching you. The way you looked at him. And frankly he was sick of it. Of those men taking everything they wanted. So he bid his time. And eventually, like everything, he got what he wanted. 

He could do to you whatever he wanted. 

The slap across his face brought him out of his dazed state and right back to the present. He grinned, even as blood and spit dribbled down his chin, arms tied painfully behind his back. "Do you know who I AM?!" he roared. 

Natasha bent down so that she was eye level with him, cupping his chin in her hand, "do you even understand that that makes no difference right now?"

The door opened and she smirked at him. Declan felt the floor shift under him, he was having trouble breathing as it was. Those two had snuck up on him in the darkness, if they had been fair about it he was sure he could have taken them. After all he was a man and they were just Loki's fangirls. 

Natasha watched as Loki slipped out of his suit jacket, handing it off to Clint, quietly rolling his sleeves up before he paused to stare at Declan and then look at her. She shrugged, crossing her arms over he chest. 

Declan stared at the redhead, the other one was somewhere in the room but had gone deathly quiet. Maybe she was filing her nails? He turned to look in the direction Natasha had been looking at when a fist connected with his jaw. Pain blossomed and he fell with a thud and a cry.

"Did you think you would get away with it?" Loki snarled, striking out again. 

The beating went on forever, Declan unable to get a word out as Loki kicked and struck him mercilessly, unforgiving. 

"The only reason you are alive right now is so that you answer me one thing."

Blood pooled on the floor beneath him, those women had taken their chances and beaten him while they could. His vision swam and his ribs ached, there was an odd noise when he took in a breath. "D-do you know… who I… am?"

Loki growled, roughly catching Declans face in hand, watching as the man winced. "Look at me, who?"

Who? Who what? Declan stared. Ah, Loki. Who? You must have told him. "Who?"

"Who was it? You can tell me now, I will find out later but it will mean I will finish this quicker if you tell me who."

"I'm the m-mayors… nephew."

Loki sucked his teeth, a thick eyebrow raising. "He's already accepted my condolences, turned down my offer to pay for the funeral as family will taje care of it and offered apologies for your unforgivable actions."

Declan swooned back, eyes shifting around him. "No…"

Loki cocked his head to the side, teeth bared, "you should have put more thought into this before you took her from me. Did you think you could keep her? Did you think mere photos would stop this from happening?"

Declan swallowed, "who?"

Loki narrowed his eyes, "tell me and I will finish this."

This was it. He had taken two years from this man and he was alone. Declan kneeled back onto his haunches, a sick grin slipping in place. "Ohhhh, yes… let me tell you about your most trusted." 

Loki stilled, anger burning through his veins. "Stop dragging this out, spit it out"

"Barton."

[onemuseleft]

Kiss prompt, 1/1, Steve/Tony

Prompt fic for @ishipallthings who had a rough week.

Kiss prompt 8: In Secrecy

“Tony,” Captain America calls out over the sound of the Avengers breaking up from what had been a horrifically long post-mission debriefing. Peter and Tigra are at the front of the pack as the team starts making their way toward the door, stretching dramatically and moaning about their butts hurting. Thor is right behind them, an arm slung over Ororo’s shoulders on the right and Hawkeye’s on the left as they talk lunch plans. Natasha is at the rear of the pack, and she gives Tony a single raised eyebrow as Cap adds, “Can you stay a minute? There’s something I want to go over with you.”

“Ooooohhhhh,” Peter said, sounding for all the world like a teenager watching one of his classmates get dragged to the principal’s office. “Tony’s in troublllllllle.”

Wolverine shoved Peter through the door and the rest of the team followed after, though Natasha did linger long enough to purse her lips at Tony teasingly before she slipped out the door with the others.

Tony waited till the door closed behind them before he turned back toward the conference table. “I think Natasha’s on to us.”

Steve came around the table and slid his arms around Tony’s waist, pulling him against his chest as he leaned in to catch Tony’s mouth in a kiss that went all the way to Tony’s toes. 

He leaned into Steve’s chest and wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, holding him down when Steve started to pull away. Steve chuckled against his mouth and it sent shivers down Tony’s neck and spine. 

“We knew someone would catch us eventually,” Steve finally said. His arms are still tight around Tony’s waist, though one hand has definitely slid a little lower. He’s slid his fingers beneath the waist of Tony’s slacks, and he’s moving his fingertips over the top of Tony’s ass in tiny little strokes. “It’s not really a secret anyway.”

Not really. Not intentionally. In the beginning they just hadn’t wanted to deal with the whole team knowing their business. The “Mom and Dad are fighting” jokes were bad enough when they weren’t dating after all. The privacy had been nice when the relationship was in the early stages, giving them time to stretch and settle into new positions in each other’s lives. 

Somewhere along the line it had become something of a game. To see how long they could get away with it without lying or deliberately misleading anyone. The only thing they hadn’t done was kiss in public.

Well. They had, once. Tony had been sleepy and Steve had made him coffee. Tony had taken it from him with a happy groan and had kissed Steve on the cheek before realizing Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, shoveling cereal into his mouth with his eyes mostly closed. Since the news of their relationship hadn’t hit the front page of the Bugle within the hour, Tony assumed the kid had been mostly asleep.

Tony sighed as Steve’s hand wormed a little lower. “We should tell them. It’s been fun, but if we take it too far it’ll hurt some feelings. It’s been six months.”

“We should tell more than the team,” Steve said. He cupped his hand over Tony’s ass cheek and squeezed, just shy of hard, and pulled Tony even closed against him. “I think it’s time to tell everyone.”

Tony leaned back as much as he could with Steve’s hands gripping him so tightly. “Everyone?” His stomach tightened, a dark streak of anxiety slowly uncurling low in his belly, even as his heartbeat sped up, and something light seemed to swell in his chest. “You don’t have to.”

“Have to,” Steve repeated in a sarcastic voice. “Oh no, I have to tell the world I’m in love with the most brilliant, beautiful man I’ve ever met. The horror.”

“Flatterer,” Tony said. He swallowed and pushed the worry away. “And you can only say that because you haven’t met yourself. I’m the lucky one.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Shellhead.” Steve leaned in and kissed him again, soft and hard at the same time, and he didn’t stop for a long time.

Not even after Clint came back for his phone and shrieked loud enough to bring the whole team running.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Let's Call It Funny

Prompt: Hi! If you know about those gen z peter parker posts, could your write something based on that? With Steve Getting It (tm) because fatalistic nihilism in humor tended to show up during the world wars and we’re seeing a reflection of that now? Sorry- I just think it’d make great options for steve and peter bonding, and dad!tony but actual emotions (gasp!) You can totally ignore this if you want!

Don't ever apologize for giving me such a great ask

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: uhhh gen z humor

Pairings: none! all found family in this bitch

Word Count: 2529

Here’s the thing about humor. It’s not necessarily that one generation is any funnier than another, it’s just that high school kids are perpetually the funniest people alive. Something about being in a pressure cooker of an environment with a bunch of other people whose bodies are changing in new unpredictable ways whilst having very little say in how their lives go creates humor. Gasp of shock, right?

So basically what Peter’s trying to say is that he’s fucking hilarious.

Come on, not only does he have the default high schooler stuff, he’s also gay, which gives him an instant bonus. He’s trans, which opens up a whole new subset of humor for him to explore. He’s neurodivergent as fuck, and we all know that makes people funny as hell. And if that weren’t enough, he’s severely traumatized and he’s Spider-Man.

Peter Parker is funny as hell.

What is truly devastating—and really, it’s their loss—is that so few people seem to appreciate it.

Ned gets it. Ned’s not someone Peter would expect to not get it, just because hey, it’s Ned. They’ve met each other in the hallways and been like ‘hey! You’re still alive! Congrats on having a body!’ Only for the other one to go ‘hey! You’re alive too! I wish I had an intangible form!’

Because bodies are stupid and evolution really fucked us over but at least we’re not horses.

A solid 50% of their interactions are just quoting John Mulaney and Bo Burnham bits back and forth at each other. Peter’s never gonna forget the day they both had detention and had to watch that stupid Cap PSA—it’s propaganda, you Nazi fuckwits—and something reminded them of the ‘horse loose in a hospital’ bit and they just did it. Full out. Stood up and did the actions and everything. The rest of the room was either trying to do it with them—and failing, because they didn’t have nearly enough practice—or looking so confused. The security guard—Paul, he’s great—just looked at them blearily after they finished and went:

“I mean, you kids are right, but you’re not supposed to talk in detention.”

Well, excuse them for trying to make it more entertaining for everyone.

MJ gets it. If Peter’s being honest, he learned most of his humor from her. She is the master and it is an honor to study in her wake. He’s definitely hijacked the asking whether or not anything’s actually meaningful existentialism jokes and they’ve wormed their way into his day-to-day repertoire.

“Why are you late, Mr. Parker?”

“Time is a social construct, Mrs. B, none of us are ever late or early except in the subjective spacetime paths. The limits of our sensory perception make it so we can’t tell if anything is real, let alone whether or not they conform to some arbitrary definition of ‘time.’”

“…just sit down, Peter.”

See? It works.

Aunt May gets…worried.

Sure, they’ve actually talked about when Peter needs help and wants to reach out and when he’s just making jokes off the cuff because hey, humor’s a great coping mechanism or it’s just a joke and not that serious. Peter loves his Aunt May, so so so much, and the last thing he wants to do is really worry her. And she’s gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s just joking and when he’s spiraling.

Sometimes, though…

“Peter,” Aunt May calls from the kitchen, “did you remember to stop by the store on your way home?”

Peter freezes halfway through the door.

“Peter?”

He swallows. “…no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am too stressed and consumed by the swirling pit of blackness deep in my soul to remember my head is connected to my body, let alone remember to go to the store.”

Silence.

“…Aunt May?”

“Do you want to drop off your stuff and then go to the store?”

“…yeah, please.”

“Love you, Pete.”

“Love you!”

“Try to remember that you’ve got arms so you can pick stuff up.”

“Got it!”

See? It’s fine.

The Avengers don’t get it. Like, at all.

Natasha and Clint like, sorta get it? They make the same jokes all the time when they think Peter can’t hear them, which—come on, you guys are super spies, surely you know people are gonna hear you when they’re gonna hear you. Natasha will make a crack about something, Clint will laugh and shove her shoulder. It’s their dynamic, we get it. But when Peter does it…

“Hey, Baby Spider?”

Peter sticks his head up from the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“Where’re you crawling off to?”

“I’m gonna go hide in the garage.”

Natasha blinks up at him. “Why?”

“Because if I get crushed by the airlock doors then I won’t have to do my paper tomorrow.”

Silence. Natasha’s mask is too good for Peter to actually see what’s going on with her, let alone from this angle, but silence isn’t good.

“Nat—oof!”

Something blurs out of the vent nearby and tackles him down onto the couch.

“Clint!”

“Nope,” Clint mutters, wrapping Peter up in a hug as Natasha comes to join them. “You’re staying with us now, Pete.”

“Guys, I’m fine.”

“Peter,” Natasha says softly, “don’t joke about that, you’ll make us worry.”

“I don’t wanna do that,” Peter mumbles, “but it’s fine.”

“Coping mechanism, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s got too many brain cells to do that,” Clint says, ruffling Peter’s hair.

“Stark has a lot of brain cells, you see what good that does him?”

“Hmm. Guess you’re gonna have to stay awhile, Pete.”

There are worse fates. Definitely.

Thor just kind of gets confused by it. He acts like Peter isn’t going to be absolutely fine because there’s no need to do anything like that. No, Peter, you don’t have to put the bleach in first into your cereal, there’s plenty of milk left over. No, Peter, you don’t have to throw yourself off the roof because your laptop is freezing, Stark has so many just lying around. No, Peter, you don’t have to pack a rucksack and run away to the Alps and live like a recluse, come here and get a hug.

Peter suspects Thor’s playing dumb on purpose. The man is smart as hell, there’s no way all of this is flying over his head. And honestly, it warms his heart a little bit when he sees Thor’s sincere, concerned look when he thinks Peter’s not looking.

Banner and Rhodey just kinda shake their heads and move on. They’re used to it. They live and work with some of the most dramatic fucking people in the goddamn universe, they’re used to a little bit of extra humor. Occasionally one of them will give him a look that says he’s pushing his luck, but that’s not often. Less often now ‘cause he knows what he can get away with. He’s also seen them hiding smiles behind their hands or poorly disguised coughs. They’re not as slick as they think they are.

Tony.

Tony is the fucking worst.

Peter can’t get away with so much as sighing too hard before Iron Dad™ is swooping in all soft words and concerned touches. Jesus. You’d think he’d get it, he uses humor as a coping mechanism too, goddamnit, why is he so worried about Peter?

Okay, fine, he knows why.

MJ’s over at the Tower, having another one of her ‘sketch people in crisis’ appointments with Natasha. Peter is coming off of a 32-hour caffeine rush and is violently wishing for death. Tony is in the kitchen doing…something.

“Hey, do you think bleach would make a good smoothie?”

Tony wheels around to see MJ pulling a glass out of the cupboard.

“Kid—“

“Sounds like a filling breakfast,” Peter groans, “can you make me one too?”

“…I’m legitimately concerned,” comes Tony’s mutter.

MJ ignores him. “Who’s the bitch on your forehead?”

Peter rubs absentmindedly at the massive knot on his head, courtesy of a wall that rudely decided to move at the last second while Peter was attempting to walk through a doorway. “He’s called DJ Braindeath and he’s my only friend in the world.”

“Peter—“

“Oh did you meet him at the furry convention?"

“Technically it’d be a buggie convention.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“The pantry doesn’t have good coffee, I’m going to Starbucks.” MJ grabs her bag. “You want anything?”

“A will to live?”

“Peter, what the fuck—“

“Oof, I’ve only got like…20 bucks.”

Peter lets his head drop back to the counter. “Then just leave me here to die.”

“Can I have champagne at your funeral?”

“I’ll be dead, I won’t fucking care.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Then MJ’s gone and Peter gets treated to a 20-minute conversation with a very concerned Tony Stark that he doesn’t remember most of because hey caffeine crashes aren’t fun.

He definitely does it on purpose sometimes just to wind Tony up. Like there’s this one incident with an interview he does as Spider-Man and he gets asked what he thinks about Tony Stark’s newest intern, Peter Parker.

“That boy’s an embarrassment, just…complete failure. Can’t speak without stuttering through every other word and self-esteem issues all over the place. Also looks like he got dressed in the dark.”

The reporter had awkwardly moved on to another question. The interview aired later that day while Peter was at the Tower. Tony sat next to him on the couch about halfway through.

“You look good, Pete.”

Peter had mumbled halfheartedly, only to hear the reporter ask the same question.

“See, that’s the problem with having a secret identity, you don’t…” Tony trailed off as he heard the answer.

Peter snorted as Spider-Man finished talking. “Say that to my face, you bitch, get a real job. At least I don’t look like someone vomited silly string all over my spandex.”

“Are you okay?”

See? Fun.

The only one he’s made a conscious effort to not be this funny around is Steve.

Because, okay, here’s the thing. Steve’s disappointed look has no effect on him anymore. He’s immune, motherfuckers, he’s had detention too many times for it to still work. Here’s the other thing: Steve doesn’t actually use that tone of voice that often. It’s this meticulously crafted image he plays up in interviews because it catches all the bad guys so off guard when Captain America is suddenly swearing a blue streak at them and telling them to go fuck themselves in, honestly, quite creative ways. The sincere Steve Rogers disappointment and concern still very much works. Also doesn’t help that Steve does caring so fucking well, like…who gave him the right to say a few things and hold Peter like he’s something precious and do the quick one-two punch of saying a super sincere compliment and following it up with ‘I love you.’ Who did that? It’s rude. Stop it.

And yeah, Steve’s the resident Mom at the Ready. It’s a risk to even sit on your bed looking sad ‘cause here he comes, wearing something snuggly and saying ‘hey’ in that stupid, stupid compassionate voice. So Peter knows he’s just gonna end up crying from too much soft if Steve actually gets concerned. Which won’t be fair because he’s gonna try and explain that he’s fine and it’s just his sense of humor while crying. Yeah, like that’s gonna be believable.

So he’s trying not to but damnit it’s hard.

Then he walks into the kitchen one day to see Steve struggling with the toaster.

It’s one of Tony’s new prototypes—which means that anyone struggling with it is so fair—and from the looks of it, it’s managed to not only burn the bread to a crisp, but also mangle the slices beyond recognizable shape.

Peter’s not paying that much attention. He’s on his phone, heading towards his spot in the corner with the beanbag chairs and definitely doesn’t recognize Steve as he goes.

He only plops down and hears someone declare, in a completely deadpan voice: “There is no point to existing at all.”

“Oh, mood.”

He doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t even know who said that, that’s how hyper-focused he is right now. He hears the others come in and feels Clint plonk down next to him.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Sah, dude.”

“Just vibing. Did I do it right?”

“Yeah, man you’re going great.”

“You teach Thor ‘yeet’ yet?”

“We’re getting there.”

“Steve,” he hears Tony call from the kitchen, “what the fuck did you do?”

“Language.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me about language when you’re making toast that looks like a goddamn welder’s table, what is that?”

“Your prototype’s work, I imagine.”

“How did you even—“

Clint chuckles next to him as the two of them start fondly bickering. Peter’s too busy speedrunning the five stages of grief in his head.

Did…did Steve say the thing about there being no point to existence at all?

No…no way.

He must be imagining things.

Then, of course, there’s a chime on his phone.

Ned: Did u do the bio hw?

There was bio homework?

Ned: yeah, due at noon

“I now know why God abandoned this timeline and when will death come to take me?”

The room goes silent.

Shit.

“Peter,” Clint says, “it’s gonna be fine, you can do bio homework in your sleep—“

“Are you okay?” Ah, that’s Thor.

“Kid—“

And Nat, and Tony’s probably rushing over here as he speaks.

Then there’s another voice.

“We can only pray the reaper arrives early for his appointment with us, kid.”

Peter’s head snaps up.

Steve.

Steve fucking Rogers raises a coffee cup at him in salute and takes a sip. He makes a face.

“…that was definitely salt,” he mutters, before shrugging and downing the whole thing.

…what?

Peter’s still staring at him until he catches his gaze and winks.

Oh, fuck yes.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony says, hands on his hips, “explain.”

Steve just gives him a look. “I grew up in the Great Depression, Tony, and I was in the army. You don’t think I have a fatalistic sense of humor?”

“Plus the fact that most of my generation is resorting to types of humor found when death and stress are so ever-present that you have to joke about it says something,” Peter adds, “doesn’t it?”

Steve raises his cup again. “See? He gets it.”

And just like that, the bond between Peter Parker and Steve Rogers was written, formed, and sealed in salt and existentialist depression.

“There’s two of you,” Tony mumbles, “oh my god, there’s two of you.”

“Oh, you just wait ’til Buck and Sam get back.”

Peter can’t fucking wait.

[nerdychatterbox]

Thoughts on Ethersea so far

Overall I am ba-da-ba-ba-ba loving it; these characters are fascinating and diverse, the seeds being planted are exciting, and the world-building has been a blast. Here are some specific questions / predictions / issues / standout moments I want to ramble on about:

(Spoilers through episode 7 of Ethersea )

*The Cern family: Devo mentions the Cern family twice; once when pretending to be Jack Noir (says they hired him as a private investigator) and once to Felix (saying they'll cover his debt, no questions asked, in the event of his passing). The first mention felt like a goof, and a good one, but that second mention felt perhaps more grounded... is that Devo's default name to use when lying, or is this family actually connected to him in some way? I'm excited to find out.

*The Katana: when the crew first boards the corsair ship Emery is said to have a katana behind his back, which Griffin mentions is odd ("He reaches behind his back and pulls out a katana, which is weird? And like, sets it down on the ground..." Ep4 1:14:30). Beck later picks it up for self defense [and takes it with her to the Dreams of Debra. She presumably still has it.] I wonder if this was taken from the gallery when they looted it and it is going to turn out to be some amazing artifact from surface life.

*Ship cost: I fully understand that a DM/Game Leader has full authority to (re)design the world while they're in it, and I fully understand not wanting your PCs to have too much power/access too early in a story. Having said that, in ep 2 Griffin told them a ship would cost about 20 lux; I'm betting that's why the Curator was planning to give them 25 lux (enough for a ship and one or two add-ons from Felix). Then they manage to get 42 lux from the Curator, and suddenly getting a run-down, old ship costs 30 lux... I get it, I do, but it still bugs me a little.

*YumNut(TM) shenanigans: When they discover the YumNut(TM) it is very clear that either Clint knows his son well-enough to sense shenanigans or Zoox has great passive perception about caution in the wild, and yet the dice are ignored. When they're working to get the YumNut(TM) Zoox makes it very clear they're not cutting roots, they're gently prying. They specify that they sense unease in the environment (ignored). They even roll an investigation check and get a 17, which Griffin acknowledges is high, but then he says, "We'll sit on that" and never returns to it. There was every opportunity for Zoox to discover the turtle ahead of time and avoid some/all of their Hurtle-based fate, even from the dice, but it didn't happen. I get that a GM (especially in an actual-play podcast situation) would want to keep the tension and allow for the reveal, but it's a bummer to feel like the story isn't true to the tools. And I know good and GD well that if Travis were helming that moment, he'd be dragged for railroading... I'm assuming that the Hurtle, not the YumNut(TM) was what they rolled on the encounter table, so maybe Griffin felt like it wasn't fair to allow them to escape it, but that's not fair either, because they could have ignored Guthrie's suggestion to acquire The Nut in the first place. I don't know, I never really criticize Griffin's story-leading, this just bugged me, especially after how folks treated Travis in Graduation.

*Dr Shaq: Fantastic bit, could've been forgettable, but they all chipped in to make it hella memorable, and NOW the freakin September Pin Of The Month is none other than Dr Shaq!! It's adorable, it's for a good cause, and it makes it more likely we'll see them again, so heck yes.

*The Parrish: I’m loving the hints of backstory so far. I’m used to the boys dropping hints about their personal experience with (and hesitance about) the church, knowing they grew up in it, but I don’t feel like I have tons of reference for Clint responding to that, and I find I’m very curious to see how he’ll participate. Obviously it’ll all be in character, I’m just curious. And this Hand of Guidance is going to be fascinating to learn more about…

*Ship worms (Phantam Sea Coast Co.): I really love the visual of these ship worms sliding up through the floor or walls to do Felix’s bidding, and I’ma need some animatics immediately. Once Griff stared describing them in job-specific attire (one with glasses, one with a visor, etc) I started picturing Lowly Worm from the Richard Scarry books, and it’s giving me life (did I just age myself with that reference? Probably)

*URCHIN: Y’ALL!!! As soon as Griff started describing that thing I KNEW it was a sea urchin, and it is adorable, and I love it, and I want one, please put a plushie in the next merch drop, athankyou! Having this reaction to it probably means it’ll turn out to be a little shit but I don’t care, I’m picturing a soot sprite with a live bomb and I want one!

*Devo: I loved learning that Devo is short for Devotion, and knowing the bois were church kids I love this bit of “the shine is off the apple” in a way that feels tangible for them

[holylulusworld]

Give You Up

Summary: Another invitation to a wedding brings you back into everyone’s life.

Pairing: ??? x Reader, former Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Sharon Carter, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson, Peter Parker, Clint Barton

Warnings: angst, mentions of infidelity/break-up, past unrequited love, language, strong reader, Sharon is still a bitch (sorry), fluff, reunion

Sequel to: Memories

Divider by @writeyourmindaway

A/N: This story got inspired by Dido’s song: Give you up. It matched the story I wanted to create. Lyrics are taken from the song.

Two years later…New York

Steve would never admit it but even after two years, he takes a detour when he goes for a run to clear his mind – or rather to get away from his wife for a few silent moments.

Steve always runs along the streets leading to your home. For a few moments, he just stares up to your window, wishing he could ring and tell you all the things he never said.

It’s too late, he knows it is, but he wishes he would catch you look out of the window or at least see your shadow. Sadly, every time he passes your building your light is never on.

Darkness greets him and he sighs, every time before he turns to run back to the woman, to the life he chose over you. He doesn’t know you moved out of the apartment a few days after you got out of the hospital. 

Steve doesn’t know anything about you, your dreams, or life anymore. He lost his place in your heart and now that you moved on from him there will never be a place for him in your life …

I'm not sitting with my head in my hands right now

I don't care where you've been

No, I ain't watching the clock or getting my phone out

I won't drink myself to sleep

Oh, oh

“A wonderful engagement party, Pepper,” you smiled wildly, hugging your friend. “I’m glad Tony finally manned up and ask you, Pep.” 

“Careful, kiddo,” Tony smirks, wrapping his arm around you. “We all missed you kid. I can’t tell you how often Wanda and Natasha argued who can use my secured communication system to call you first.”

“I’m sorry for causing trouble, Sir,” giggling you hug him back, not missing the way he holds you tight enough to take your breath away. “I promise to not become invisible again. Tons, I had to take my time, lick my wounds to come back stronger than before.”

“That’s my girl,” Natasha squeals, running toward you. You always wondered how the assassin manages to run in ten-inch high heels. “I knew you would hit the party.”

“How could I miss Tony Stark's defeat? Pepper Potts made him an honest man,” you tease, hugging your friend. Acting as if you didn’t see Natasha on a regular base you hug laugh when she whispers ‘missed you��.

It pains you that anyone believed you left the country to get better. Truth is after you burned every trace, every single piece that was left of Steve in your life you rose like a phoenix out of the ashes of your relationship.

Natasha was the one helping you to find a safe place, not giving away she knows where you went to. “I’ve missed our best girl too, Romanoff,” Sam smirks, tugging at Natasha's shoulder. “Let me hug the pretty rogue lady.”

“Sam Wilson, the eternal charmer,” you hug Sam, holding him tight. “I’ve missed my wingman too, Wilson. I never thought watching awful movies without you would bring me to tears.”

“Next weekend, Y/L/N. You, me and the gang will watch a marathon of movies I will choose,” Sam smirks, letting you hold him a bit longer.

“Don’t you forget an important date?” Tony clears his throat. “Next weekend, a wedding. Tony Stark marries?”

“Damn, Stark. Do not ruin our plans,” Natasha teases, giving Sam a wink for the great prank. “We will of course come to your wedding, Tony. Now our girl is back she will have to bear movie nights every month.”

Looking around the small round, seeing all their happy faces you feel a pull in your chest. It almost feels like back then, when you and Steve were still a thing and the team cheered for you.

“Doll,” Bucky waltzes toward you, flashing you a smile. “I must admit, you stole my heart the moment you entered the building,” you giggle, wrapping yourself around Bucky, Steve’s eldest friend. 

“Barnes stop worming your way into Y/N’s heart,” Clint smirks when Bucky won’t let go of you. “Fine, I’ll have her back in that case.”

Sandwiched between Clint and Bucky you don’t see another pair of eyes watching you reunite with your friends, your family.

You can’t see the way Steve’s eyes roam your body, admiring the dress you wear. It’s a red dress, backless, with a large slit, revealing your right leg. While you wear light make-up your red lips and the black heels Natasha helped you to pick scream ‘sexy bitch’.

“I think Wanda is missing. Where is she?” Wanda waves at you, pointing toward Vision who awkwardly tugs at his suit. “Vision hates suits, huh?”

“Don’t ask, Y/N. I had to beg and plead to get him into a suit,” Tony sighs, waving at Wanda to join your reunion. You smile at Wanda, but your eyes drift toward Steve who tries to maintain eye contact but looks away when you refuse to look away.

You don't, you don't get under my skin no more

No, it's gone, it's gone

I ain't thinking 'bout you no more

All your friends talk about the things happening over the last two years. Laughter fills the room when Bruce and Thor along with Loki finally join your group. Peter is awkwardly glancing around the room, not feeling in his element at all.

“You adopted another one,” you tease, holding out your hand to greet the shy boy. “I’m honored to finally meet you, Peter Parker.”

“Same, ma’am,” of course Peter heard about you, the woman who was the glue to the Avengers, the one who almost caused a rift between the team and Steve.

“Don’t flatter me, Peter. I only was someone’s girlfriend until he found someone new. I was just…”

“Family,” Tony jumps in. 

“A friend,” Clint adds.

“The one keeping us together,” Bucky slings one arm around your waist to peck your cheek. The way he holds you close to his body, his hand on your hip, and the fact he glares at Steve whenever he dares to look at you tell Tony one thing…you moved on and Steve won’t like it.

“I was just me, guys, okay. You were the ones taking me in, giving me a home and task,” you sniffle squeezing the hand Tony holds out. “I had to go to not cause a deeper rift. If I could’ve done it differently…”

“We get it, Y/N. Steve is still Captain America, douche or not,” Peter’s words make you chuckle. You never thought the boy had it in him. “He broke your heart, and the Avengers were on your side. What you did was heroic. I admire you for giving your friends and family up for the greater good.”

“Tony keep that fine young man,” you hug Peter, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Peter.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am. I admire Captain America, but Steve Rogers did the wrong thing back then,” Bucky nods, watching his friend finally walk over to you.

Tony expects you to stiffen or to see a flash of emotions in your eyes but oddly, there is nothing. No reacting. No hurting. Not even a nervous huff.

I found a way to let you go

So you don't have to stay now

A broken mind, I came close

But you can't rip my heart out

I'm giving up, I'm giving up, I'll give you up

I found a way to let you go

It's gonna rip your heart out

When you step away from Peter to grasp for Bucky’s hand Tony nods silently, a smug grin on his lips.

Until now you wore elbow gloves but when your eyes hold Steve’s gaze you slowly roll the gloves down your arms, taking the left one off first.

“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” Steve’s voice trembles when you do not hug him or at least recognize his presence until you stripped your hand gloves off.

Two years ago you wouldn’t have been able to face the man breaking your heart but now – you are stronger.

Got your picture covering up the cracks on the wall

But the lines won't fade

Didn't think that I would be missing you at all

Maybe that was my mistake

Oh, oh

You don't, you don't, get under my skin no more

No, it's gone, it's gone

I ain't thinking 'bout you no more

“Steven, a pleasant evening to meet again,” your voice strong you hold out your hand, letting Steve shake it. He frowns feeling a ring poke his hand.

His eyes flicker for a moment when they drop to your hand to find an engagement ring on your ring finger. There is no hint of the vulnerable girl he left two years ago when you meet his eyes again.

“You’re engaged,” he chokes out now, hand trembling. Steve is too engrossed in staring at you that he barely recognizes Sharon stepped toward your group, a grin on her pink lips.

“I…I guess it’s on me to congratulate you and your soon-to-be husband. Maybe you can bring him next time too?” You smile, holding Sharon’s gaze. Face stoic you hold out your hand and Steve swears his heart stopped beating for a moment.

“I don’t think we will need to wait until next time, Sharon,” you spat her name, feeling Bucky interlace his fingers with yours. “We wanted to announce our engagement after Tony and Pepper's wedding, but the cat is out, I guess.”

Steve’s face falls when Bucky wraps his arm around your waist, holding you flush to his body to kiss you passionately. “When did you happen? I mean…” Sharon stammers, seeing her husband’s face turn pale.

I found a way to let you go

So you don't have to stay now

A broken mind, I came close

But you can't rip my heart out

I'm giving up, I'm giving up, I'll give you up

I found a way to let you go

It's gonna rip your heart out

“I don’t know when it started to become more than friendship,” you look at Bucky who looks at you as if you are the sun and moon. You smile, gently cupping Bucky’s cheek to stroke his skin. “I moved out of the apartment with Natasha’s help. I tried to hide to not, well, destroy the Avengers by forcing them to choose.” Sharon snorts, glaring at you.

“As if the Avengers would’ve chosen you over Captain America, my husband,” she spats, grasping for Steve’s hand. You can see the struggle on Steve’s face whilst his wife tries to convince herself she is holding Steve’s heart.

“We would’ve chosen Y/N over him anytime, Agent Carter,” Tony grits out. “Steve is a good fighter, a loyal friend and colleague but, what he did to be with you crossed more than one line.”

“That’s what I tried to avoid so I hid, pretending I’m out of the country,” you give Tony an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but I had to do it, Tons. I wanted to move on and started to write again. At first poems, later short stories. I wrote at a park, had my own bench. That’s how I met Bucky.”

“Around four months after she moved out I saw her at the park. She looked so cute but lost at the same time,” Bucky smiles at the memory. You ran toward him, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. “I know that moment I will never let her go again. I must admit, I always loved Y/N. Steve just asked her out before I got the chance to do so.”

“As a good friend Bucky wanted Steve to keep his luck,” you huff, looking at Sharon. “Honestly, I’m glad you stole Steve. I never was happier than I’m now, with the right man by my side.”

Another stab to Steve’s heart makes him visibly flinch. You never thought it would be you being the one moving on from your past with Steve.

The party is almost over. Most of the guests left but you are still slow dancing with Bucky. You don’t care Steve watches you. Arms crossed over his chest, jaw set his blue eyes follow your every step.

“We should head home, Stevie,” Sharon swallows thickly when you lift your head from Bucky’s shoulder to meet her eyes. For the first time you see uncertainty in her eyes, and it brings a wicked grin on your lips. 

“That’s the result of stealing someone else’s man, Sharon,” Pepper smirks, watching Bucky sway you gently. “Whilst you believed Steve is finally yours, Y/N moved on. Unlike his ex-fiancé, your husband still clings to his past. Must be hard to compare with Peggy Carter and the great Y/N Y/L/N, good luck.” Tony chuckles when Pepper grasps for his hand to have one last dance.

“You’re evil, Pep. One of the reasons I love you so much,” Tony swoons, leading his fiancé toward the dance floor.

Steve closes his eyes, remembering the first and last time you danced like this. A single tear rolls down his cheek when he realizes he should’ve cherished the dance as you will never be in his arms again…

Nothing you say will change my mind

You couldn't wait to leave me behind

Nothing you say will change my mind

You couldn't wait to leave me behind

Nothing you say will change my mind

You couldn't wait to leave me behind

I found a way to let you go

So you don't have to stay now

A broken mind, I came close

But you can't rip my heart out

I'm giving up, I'm giving up, I'll give you up

I found a way to let you go

It's gonna rip your heart out

Part 3

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[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 34

💖 first time reader click here 💖

A little bit of plot, but mostly ironstrange x reader filthy porn. Bukkake stuff. Stephen finally opening up a lil bit, I mean... I've slept through a 1/3 of a hospital and lemme tell you, doctors are kinky bastards. On the same note, there's definitely going to be a chapter where all three men are involved after the plot shit is resolved.

There was something big brewing. I had a hunch... which was more like a strong sense of doom... hanging over me and the rest of the world. Peter also had noticed the sudden spike in anxiety, quoting the sudden disappearance of many low-tier mutants from the streets. Usually, Peter dealt with at least a few enhanced enemies during his patrols but the closer it got to Christmas, the less enhanced bothered with small-time crimes, the more intense the buzzing of his Spidey sense became.

Now that my immediate lack of income wasn't a problem anymore, I set business onto that damn mercenary. I was no spy, I was no SHIELD operative but... I could be very clever.

First things first, I had to make sure I would stay alive no matter what. A subdermal tracker was a good guarantee of security and I spent many hours making one - having to keep it a secret was incredibly hard, I hated lying to my loves and I hated avoiding Wanda even more - I was constantly on the edge around the telepath, hyperfocused on keeping up the pretense of normalcy.

I wouldn't be me if I couldn't successfully pull off a whole ass façade. Unfortunately, the continued failures of the people searching left and right for the mercenary only fueled my strength for the inevitable fuck-fest that I would have to create in order to make sure my people get the peace they fucking deserve. The web of lies grew in size every damn day.

Subdermal tracker, an implant that reports directly to Friday upon activation. It hurt like a bitch - I had cut myself open, an inch wide gash on the inside of my forearm - and put it in without any anesthesia in my own bathroom, not even thinking twice before making up a lie that I had been careless in the lab and hurt myself.

An antidote to common tranquilizers, creating it gave me a headache the size of Moscow but I'd been successful; Tony assembled the whole team when he found it out, offering me a ridiculous amount of money for the formula. It was weird. SHIELD was interested, too, and I had to witness Tony and Coulson argue. Apparently, the agency wanted to recruit me and Tony was adamantly against it, totally forgetting the promise Natasha had given me. In the end, the spy and Coulson shared a quiet conversation and the man left, respectfully complimenting my skills.

I sold the formula to Stark Industries, unable to get rid of the weirdness of the situation. I had to shake hands with my own boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend... In a business setting. What. Just what. Bucky and Stephen couldn't stop laughing at the face I made all throughout that day - and Clint even went as far as to bake me a gag cake, a cartooney handshake drawn in frosting on top of it. I hit him with a spatula, Loki smiled in his direction for the first time in, like, ever. It was a trip and Tony had way too much fun with the incident.

Perhaps, turning myself into a cyborg stew wasn't the best plan that was possible to think up in a few weeks' time but I've never claimed to be exceptionally intelligent; if anything, I've always considered myself to be a moderately educated idiot. It is common knowledge that there are two halves of a whole idiot: my second half was on his way from California, having had received my very detailed e-mail about the whole cursed box fiasco and the consequences that followed. I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect of seeing uncle Eddie and his symbiote again.

Tony wasn't even half as excited; if anything, he bordered on outright hostile, bickering, and sassing everybody left and right. It could have been the situation at hand finally getting on his last nerves. It could have been his jealousy, the same that appeared every time I paid extra attention to someone that wasn't him, Bruce or Stephen. Either way, Bruce was sighing all the time now and Stephen's remarks began to fill with poison once again.

Just like the good old times, I guess. I was forced to pull a Me over and over, interrupting their petty arguments with increasingly absurd remarks. I felt like everybody was laughing at me these days, which ended in only one way it could have...

"Brat," Stephen's patience was paper-thin and, being forcefully distracted from yelling at Tony, he directed his angst at the nearest person - me. "I oughta put you over my knee. I swear to Cosmos..."

"Blah, blah, blah. Don't you ever get tired of listening to yourself talk?" I raised my eyebrows, tone deceptively calm. "You're talking too much for someone who can't even..." I didn't get to finish my sentence, suddenly finding my mouth firmly glued shut. It was magic - the sensation was pulling, but not unpleasant. Reminded me of a ball gag Tony had used on me in the early days of our relationship.

"Now, Dumbledore, hold your horses..." Tony interjected looking none-too-happy. The engineer placed a warning arm on the sorcerer's bicep, their little spat seemingly forgotten.

"What, Tony? She's been nothing but a mouthy urchin the past few days, I can't stand it anymore," They shared a meaningful look; no matter how much Tony wanted to argue, he knew Stephen was right. What he didn't know was that there probably have been a magic versus science altercation... Or worse. Humiliation was a small price to pay for some (relative) peace.

I did what I do best. I annoyed them further, throwing up a juicy middle finger to the two men and turned around with a huff, mind set on finding Loki to undo the mute ban Stephen gave me. Needless to say, I didn't make it very far.

In mere seconds, I was sandwiched between the two men, Stephen's finger delicately holding my chin to force me to look into his eyes. Tony was holding onto my shoulders from behind me - I could feel the tension, my engineer was almost buzzing with it. I was pretty sure my eyes were laughing anyway because Stephen's frown slowly transformed into a coy smirk once his stormy blues focused on my face.

"Brat," He repeated once again. "She's doing this on purpose."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Tony's breath tickled the nape of my neck. "That does sound like our little Princess," Apparently, it took all of a 0.1 second for Tony to switch from annoyed to horny. Men, they were so easy to play. "Baby, if you wanted our attention you could have just said so," He chastised me, hands sliding down to my waist.

I hummed, and then aggressively hummed some more until Stephen removed the magical gag. "Not like you'd notice it, being occupied with tearing each other's hair out," I pouted.

The sorcerer briefly averted his eyes, leaning down to softly kiss my pout. It was very unlikely I'd get an actual apology but a kiss I won't be complaining about either. "So, your best tactic was to annoy us even more? How does that work out for you?"

I pulled on the tied fabric around his waist, bringing him closer to me. "Pretty good, if I'm being honest. You're exactly where I wanted you to be," Carelessly, I began untying the layers of silks and cotton I had become intimately familiar with over the course of the past few weeks. Most of the time Steph wore his wizard garbs and while figuring out how to undo them was a trip at first, I had gotten him desperate enough a few times, for him to show me a few tips and tricks for easier access.

Tony snorted somewhere behind me. "You just want us for our bodies," His hands wormed their way under my shirt, brushing the underside of my breasts. Bra? Hardly know her. "Our beautiful, sexy bodies." Yes Tony, very humble.

"When will you learn, people?" I asked rhetorically, simultaneously leaning into both Tony's and Stephen's touch. "Why fight each other when you could be fucking me into oblivion instead?"

Stephen snorted, still not completely used to the at times crude things that left my (and occasionally Tony's) mouth. I had a hunch the sorcerer was holding back somewhat - for whatever reason - and I was eagerly waiting for him to get comfortable enough to reveal that special part of himself. Whatever it was, I just knew it was delicious and sinful and-

"Do you really think I will be giving you what you want after your little... Stunt?" Steph went balls out; his voice dropped and the intensity of his stare left me breathless. The hand that was stroking my face wrapped around my throat as he had some sort of a silent conversation with Tony.

"Yeah," I emphasized the word with an inaudible 'duh' behind it but obediently trotted along as Stephen backed up towards the couch, leading me by the throat like a pet on a leash. I was steadily going into 'no thoughts, head empty' territory.

"I like it when you get all bossy," Tony remarked casually but he was close enough for me to hear the strain in his voice. Every time we fucked, Tony eagerly gave up the control to Stephen. I definitely saw the appeal. Stephen Strange demanded authority effortlessly, his stern but fair attitude simply demanded to kneel.

That's just what I did. As soon as Stephen made himself comfortable on the Italian leather couch, I dropped to my knees, looking up at the man with big round eyes. Just like Tony and Bruce, Stephen had his own weaknesses when it came to moi and I wasn't ashamed to exploit them. Steph's stroked my hair, carding careful fingers through it, slowly unbuttoning his pants with his other hand.

"If you insist on being mouthy, I have a better task for you," He husked, pulling me closer towards him. I called it his doctor voice. Honestly, I don't have a clue how his surgical team could be around him with their pants on back in the day... The man was a snack on a silver platter.

Steph's erection sprang free. I didn't hesitate to wrap my hand around it, stroking the underside of his glans just like he liked it, looking to the side where Tony landed on the couch next to Stephen, a curious look on his face. Yeah, Tony liked to watch. Me and Stephen or me and Bruce... Me and Stephen and Bruce? That's an idea for later.

"Don't mind little old me," Tony smirked his trademark Stark mischief, getting comfortable, ditching his oil-stained shirt and unbuttoning his pants to lazily palm himself through his boxers. "Carry on," The smirk only grew when Tony noticed both me and Steph eyeing him with amusement.

I hid my grin, nodding my head, before wrapping my lips around the tip of Stephen's cock, relaxing my throat to prepare for the intrusion. Sweet and salty, the slit on his cockhead was mercilessly teased by the tip of my tongue.

Stephen murmured encouragements under his breath as I began to bob up and down, him controlling the pace with a hand in my hair, just the right balance between cruel and gentle. The sorcerer was always too good to me, bringing me to the point of overstimulation and instantly soothing the ache afterward; "Fuck, darling, your mouth feels like heaven," He groaned as I snuck a look upwards to see his lips parted and a steady flush crawling up his neck.

"She knows how to work a man, doesn't she?" Tony's lust had him panting, hips moving into his own hand. He leaned closer to Stephen, brushing my hair behind my ear with a tender hand. "Merlin needs to share," Tony began pulling me in his direction. I reluctantly let go of Stephen's cock, keeping up the pace with my hand as I scooted closer to Tony to be able to mouth at his stiff erection.

Watching me suck cock always got Tony hard enough to pound nails with. I couldn't blame him, I knew what I could do and did well; by the time I made my way down his thick flesh, drool was dripping down my chin and the make-up around my eyes was surely smeared by tears. My engineer was much less gentle than Steph, pounding my face without reservations.

"I know you can take it, baby girl, fuck," My face was held in his strong grip, thumbs digging into my jaw. "Such a good girl," The two words went straight down to my pussy and I had to squirm and clench my thighs together, whining at the lack of friction.

The air was pierced by a low moan - Stephen was fisting his erection almost desperately now, almost as desperately as I was humping the air, whining like a bitch in heat at the taste of Tony's cock in my mouth. I knew neither of the men would last long, not with all that pent up tension running through their minds and bodies.

"Fuck, come here, baby girl," The engineer yanked me off his cock, gripping the base of it so forcefully his knuckles turned white. I was all but dragged into the space between them; still kneeling, barely seeing with snot and tears smeared all over my face, I couldn't hold in the broken moan as the realization set in.

"Keep your eyes open!" Steph instructed furiously, scooting to tower over me. Tony followed in his steps as I obediently lifted my eyes to their cocks and then their faces; nearly identical furrowed brow expressions stared back at me, lips moist and eyes wide. Both men stroked themselves with renewed vigor.

I hummed softly before sticking out my tongue; their reaction didn't let me wait long. Strings of pearly white cum landed in my hair, on my face; I felt the warmth on my skin and tasted their salt and musk on the tip of my tongue, reflexively swallowing each and every drop that landed in my mouth, savoring it just like I savored the sinful groans that left their mouths.

"Fuck, you're so good to us," Tony panted, gracelessly falling backward onto the couch.

Stephen, however, didn't hurry to catch his breath, giving me a thoughtful look. His fingers shook more than ever but he paid no mind to the discomfort, gathering the cum dripping down my face with two fingers and offering it to me, holding them up to my lips as I gently cleaned them off. And he did it again, and again, until Tony gave a weak moan of recognition, throwing an arm under his head.

"Be polite, Princess," Stephen's voice hadn't lost the lust in it just yet.

"Thank you, sir," I mumbled, utterly captivated by the way he was looking at me. Stormy blues radiated a strong sense of intensity, devotion perhaps, that I wasn't ready for.

Stephen smiled at me, almost coyly, before kneeling right next to me and bringing me over the edge with a few sharp, clever movements of his hand. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, barely noticing Tony's reaction - if there was one - my other lover seemed to be as surprised as I was, choosing to hang back and observe the unusual situation.

I had a feeling that whatever it was, it would make another appearance during our playtime. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't making love - it was... Something. I loved every second of it.

@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @toomanyrobins @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming

[wolfish-trickster]

Advent kisses

3/24

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1 280(they are getting longer and longer, i'm so sorry)

Summary: Instead of chocolates, kisses are going to be recieved everyday until Christmas.

Tag list: @gaitwae

'I think I went too quick.'

Loki was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. A few minutes ago he kissed you on the cheek. It was the best feeling he had had in a long while. Your skin was so soft and warm. His heart was beating unnaturally quick. Still.

'I should've gone for her fingers or palm, not moving straight to her face.' He was overthinking. If he went too fast, he could've scare you away. You could start avoiding him, just like he thought you did today. He knew you were not lying when you said the reason you were asking Thor about Asgard and not him. But something about that truth felt off. Like you didn't say the entire truth.

It doesn't matter. You were telling the truth. You wanted to give him a gift. Him! Humans tend to give eachother gifts when they care about eachother. You cared about him! He smiled at that thought.

Loki glanced at his alarm clock. 00:10. He should really go to sleep. He rolled on his side and hugged one of his spare pillows imagining it was you, closed his eyes and dreamt of tommorrow's kiss.

-

Morning came too soon for his liking. It was 6:00 when he first opened his eyes and 6:45 when he rolled from his bed, got dressed and made his way to kitchen. Sun didn't even start rising yet. Only Avngers did. Natasha, Clint and Tony were opening their advent calendars and chewing on their chocolates. When Tony spotted the mischievious god he stopped chewing.

"You! How dare you ruin the tradition!" he pointed at Loki, mouth still full of chocolate.

"Whatever you think I did Stark, I thoroughly enjoyed it. But seriously now, what do you think I did?"

"You," Tony reached for one of the calendars behind his back, "ate," picked up the box with Loki's name, "all of your chocolates in one day! It's not how we do it! You're supposed to eat one a day!"

"Calm down Tony, it's his loss. He's going to be without chocolates, not you," Natasha was trying to pacify the situation.

Tony looked at her. Nat glared at him.

"Bet he'll back off," Clint whispered to Loki.

"Why betting when you already won?" Loki smirked. Everyone knew when Natasha glared and you didn't back off soon enough, you're not gonna end well.

Thankfully, Tony still had common sense. "Alright, you're forgiven Mischief."

"As if I needed your forgiveness. You gave the box to me, remember? And I get to do whatever I please with it. Including enjoying the chocolate in one go," he smirked.

Meanwhile the rest stumbled into the kitchen. Bucky, Sam and Steve wet from their morning after run shower, Thor in nothing more than brown sweatpants, Wanda and Vision holding hands, Bruce yawning from reading instead of sleeping the whole night and you. Your hair was a mess, still in your pyjamas (oversized t-shirt and sweatpants), rubbing your eyes. You looked extremly cute.

"Good morning," you greeted him mid-yawn.

"Good morning to you too," Loki smiled at you. You weren't trying to avoid him like he thought you would. First good thing this morning.

All of you ate breakfast. Discussed your plans for the day. Talked. Just the typical morning.

"And what about you Y/N?"

You looked up from your plate, still half asleep. "What?"

Wanda repeated her question. "What about you? Do you want to come with me, Vision, Tony and Pepper to city? Taking a walk on the fresh air, shopping-" "Aka you browsing through store for half an hour and leaving because the jacket isn't in the right shade of red?" Vision teased her with his hand around her shoulders.

"That happened only once Vis. Can you please stop bringing it up?"

Vision pretended to think. Then smiled at her. "No."

You chuckled a bit. "No I don't think I will join you. Not that I have better things to do than hang out with you. I'll be like a fifth wheel to you guys. Two couples and a book worm without social skills," Loki noticed your mood shift. You were lonely. He can't just leave it like that now, can he?

"I can accompany you, if the rest of the group allows me. It'll be two discustingly in love couples and two book worms," he smiled at you.

You looked at him and smiled. Then you looked at Tony. "Can he come please? I'll keep an eye on him, I promise."

"Alright. But don't let him buy any chocolate. He already had enough," Tony glared at Loki who smirked at him.

20 minutes later the six of you were heading to shopping mall. As Vision predicted (and all of the boys expected) girls spent about an hour in two different stores, but didn't buy anything. You headed to bookstore while the girls stopped to look at purses.

"So what's between you and Y/N?" Tony asked Loki as they were waiting in front of the shop.

"Something called friendship, maybe you've heard of it?"

"Cut the sass and tell me the truth."

"It is the truth."

"You kissed her hand two days ago."

"That I did. We do it on Asgard to show respect or gratitude. Things Midgardians lack these days."

"I also saw you and her in the library reading together."

Loki side eyed Tony. "That's..... what libraries are for."

Tony smirked. "But libraries aren't meant for two 'friends' to cuddle."

'Damn, I forgot the security cameras.' Loki kept his stone cold facade while panicing internally. If he saw you two cuddling then he also saw the cheek kiss. Why must this man see and ruin every sweet moment he shared with you?!

Just as he wanted to reply smething sarcastic you ran up to both of them laughing and holding a book. "I found it guys! The picture of Dorian Grey! I was looking for this book for WEEKS!" you ran straight into Loki, hugging him tightly. Tony smirked at both of you. Loki only glared at him and put both of his arms around you.

"Darling, I don't think I can survive another hour waiting in front of the store for ladies of those two. Let's go outside for fresh air," he was pushing you with a hand on your lower back away from Tony before he could comment on the hug.

It was cold outside. Loki barely registered, but you were positively shivering. He started walking towards the tower but you stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Can we go for a walk into a park? I like this weather, might be one of the last days with sun still shining without clouds."

"Alright, lead the way darling," he smiled at the way you blushed. He liked making you blush. You looked cute. After 45 minutes of walking he noticed how your nose and cheeks got red from cold. "You must be terribly cold, don't you want to go to tower yet?"

You shook your head. "Not really. Well, maybe a little bit. My fingers are freezing. I think it's time to go before I get frostbite," you looked down at your red finger tips.

"Here let me help you," Loki brought both of your hands to his face. His hands starte to glow with soft green light as he kissed each finger tip. You were bright red, but not from cold. When he drew back he smiled at you. "Better?"

Only then you realized what he did. He put a warming spell on you.

"Yes, thank you," you smiled back at him.

He looked down at your small hands in his big pale ones. "Can I hold your hand the way back to tower? To keep the warming charm."

Both of you knew it wasn't only for the charm. So you let him.

[sazc94]

Pietro and Bunny

HELLO

Here is my second entry for the wonderful @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge.

This a spin-off from my Bucky fic: The three times Bucky broke your heart. Part 1 linked Here.

It follows the same timeline and explores the relationship of Pietro and Reader (Bunny) More.

Words 6034

Themes. Angst, Suggestions of smut. But mostly lots and lots of fluff. 18+ Because of the smut suggestions.

This has two parts and I will upload part 2 tomorrow.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?"

Pietro thought you were pretty cool. He thought you and Bucky made a great couple. He enjoyed hanging out with you when you would all hang out as a group. Pietro wasn’t one for girlfriends. Sure he’d had a few semi-serious flings and would occasionally bring a date to the parties after a game and loved how you would instantly make anyone feel welcome. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he started to think of you as more than a friend. It was sometime during his senior year.

At first, he pushed the idea out of his head. You were Bucky’s girl Y/N! You were the cute shy girl Bucky had brought out of her shell, who was still deep down that adorable musical theatre-loving dork. However, when Bucky started getting defensive around him and Sam about who he was texting, Pietro stopped feeling so bad about liking you of course Pietro would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with Bucky and his friendships with either of you, but he couldn’t help but feel a tang of jealousy towards Bucky.

2010

“Look at Bucky, can’t go 5 minutes without texting his little cheerleader,” Sam said walking up behind Pietro. Bucky was too engrossed in his phone to pay any attention to the pair of them. Pietro smirked.

“Sam, watch this” Pietro said, before breezing over to Bucky and pulling his phone out of his hands. Bucky instantly shot up trying to grab the phone from Pietro, however, he was too quick throwing the phone to Sam.

“Dear Doll, I love you so much and all thought I only saw you this morning, I am already missing you” Pietro sang in a teasing manner.

“Come on guy’s give it back” Bucky grunted. Sam and Pietro kept throwing the phone between them. Suddenly Sam stopped laughing.

“Hey Buck, who’s Nat and why is she asking if you’re going to be around this summer?” Sam asked his eyebrow shooting up. Bucky’s façade faltered for a second. His usual bright blue eyes deepening with an unfamiliar expression. Pietro’s interest was also piqued, he may have wanted you for himself but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you get hurt.

“Oh, she’s just a friend of Jane’s. I met her at that party after our game in Green Bay last year she’s a cheerleader like Jane and Y/N. Natasha and her boyfriend Clint will be in town the summer and she wants to introduce us apparently her boyfriend was impressed with how we played” Bucky said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. After that incident, Bucky was on his phone around the football team less and started talking about how much he loved you and couldn’t wait to spend some quality time with you in the summer.

November 2011

By the time graduation rolled around Pietro had put any thoughts about the pair of you out of his mind, chalking it up to wanting a relationship as opposed to you. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. You came along to his graduation ceremony. Well, it was for everyone. Pietro, Sam, Wanda, Jane, and Carol. Bucky came along too. Late. But you were there with Peter Parker who was a freshman, he had talent, but he seemed to prefer being behind a camera as opposed to on the field.

The whole gang hung around the field and bleachers after the ceremony. Goofing off and enjoying the last time the group would all be together like this for a while. Peter took photos of you all. Pietro’s favourite was one where he and Sam had picked you up whilst you were in the middle of talking to Carol and Wanda. The laughter that came out of your mouth as you squealed and shouted for the two footballers to put you down made his heart flutter.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as over you as he told himself he was. Now he could understand what that Taylor Swift was banging on about in that song of hers.

Have you ever thought just maybe?

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you. For some stupid reason, probably because Pietro didn’t know what to do with his hands, he ruffled your hair like you were 5 again. He couldn’t help but notice you wince at the old pet name. He mentally kicked himself. Why had he called you that?!

Graduation was the last time he saw you for over a year. Unlike Bucky, Pietro had actually been away at a football camp when Bucky had cheated on you. He didn’t know what had happened. Only knew you two had broken up. Wanda was fiercely protective of her friendship with you and didn’t want to betray you by admitting to those that didn’t know that Bucky had cheated on you. He wasn’t going to lie; he was saddened when you didn’t stay in touch with him after he graduated. But after he started his first year at the University of Michigan, he didn’t have much time to worry about it. He was a Line Backer having secured a football scholarship after college scouts came to see Sam and a few others play, Pietro had caught the eye of the scout from the University of Michigan, all though he was a great player, Pietro didn’t want to play professionally like many of the guys on the team. He was studying Business and Economics.

Since about the age of 15, he and Wanda had always planned on going into business together. Between parties, flirting with the pretty cheerleaders and sorority girls and his studies you became a distant memory to Pietro. That was until one November game in his second year.

The Wolverines were playing the Wisconsin Badgers. Boy did they suck. Not that Pietro minded it allowed him the opportunity to watch the cheerleaders, he knew a few of the girls on the team from various parties, he hadn’t paid much attention to the new girls on the squad. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone who looked familiar to him. Could it be Y/N? Wanda had mentioned something about you getting a scholarship at Uni for your cheerleading, but he’d been in the middle of a game of Mario Kart with Sam at the time.

He tried to rack his brain’s but then the ball came towards him. He smiled to himself. Showtime Pietro. The game was an easy win. Whilst his teammates cheered Pietro made his way to the side-lines, desperate to know if the girl he’d seen earlier was you. His heart skipped a beat when he heard your familiar laugh. He couldn’t believe it. Pietro came jogging up towards you determined to chat.

“It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled.

“How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro may come across as confident but inside he was shaking with nerves. Was he really doing this? What if you said no? You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled.

“I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply wrongly presuming Pietro knew what had gone down. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as your laughter rang in his ears whilst you walked off the pitch.

“Pietro! What’s good? How’d your game go tonight?” Sam asked. He sounded buzzed and Pietro could hear the faint sounds of a party in the background. Excellent he thought to himself. Sam was buzzed enough to have loose lips but not drunk enough to be of no use and if he was lucky Sam might not even remember half the conversation.

Pietro got back to his apartment, he had zero clues about what had gone on with you and Bucky. It was obvious due to your remark about him blowing up your phone with apology texts that he’d done something. He weighed up his options. Wanda or Sam? Wanda was his twin, and he knew deep down if he pulled the twin card she would tell him, but then if nothing came of this, he would be opening a can of worms with his sister over nothing.

Then there was Sam, he was still pretty close with Bucky and liked to chat a lot. But ultimately, he was like a brother to Pietro, and he trusted Sam to keep his mouth shut. Taking a deep breath and raking his hand through his Silver-blonde hair he picked up his phone and dialled Sam.

“So Sam you’ll never guess who I ran into cheering on the side-lines of the game!?” Pietro tried to sound breezy and cool like it was no big deal, despite the fact he was about to ask his friends ex out on a date.

“ I ran into Y/N. You know Bucky’s girl?” Pietro carried on forcing his voice to sound light. Sam choked on his drink down the other end of the line.

“I wouldn’t let her hear you call her that. That boy broke her damn heart, the fool” Sam said, there was an edge to his voice that Pietro almost missed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Pietro asked genuinely curious.

“Well remember that little party your sister threw that last week of summer whilst you were away at football camp with some of your new teammates?” Sam asked. He didn’t wait for Pietro to respond before he continued.

“Well, Jane brought her friend Nat along” Sam continued. Pietro took a sharp intake of breath. No, Bucky wouldn’t have been stupid enough to kiss her at a party with your mutual friends, would he?

“Well turns out that Clint guy Bucky talked about wasn’t her boyfriend he was just a really good friend. But by the time we found that out Jane realised both Bucky and this Nat chick hadn’t been seen for at least a good 15, 20 minutes. So, she went to go find Nat. Only to walk in on them fucking. Oh yeah, it was on your bed bro”, Sam finished his story like it was no big deal. Other than the telling disdain in his voice.

Pietro stood stunned. No wonder you had winced at the use of your old nickname. Pietro’s heart broke for you at that moment. He vowed at that moment that no matter what happened between you both, he would do everything in his power to ensure you never had to feel heartbreak like that again.

Pietro will never forget that first date with you. He had come up with some lame excuse of showing you the best-hidden beauty spots of the campus. Not that there were any, he just wanted an excuse to spend some time with you. He wore jeans and a jumper with his beat-up converse.

All though it didn’t look like he had put much effort into his outfit he had spent a good hour agonising over it. In the end, he settled for a faded blue jumper hoping it would make his eyes and hair pop. He met you by the school library and the sun was shining, it was still a chilly November mid-morning.

You had turned up with your hair tied up in a messy bun a few stray pieces framing your cheeks, you had opted for a sweater dress. He remembered because it was loose and comfy but sinched inwards in all the right places. It was a silvery colour almost the same shade his hair was. Pietro swore you took his breath away.

Winter Break 2011

“And that right there is where the fraternity pledges had to stand and sing, I’m a little teapot every time someone put 10$ in the bucket. I didn’t truly understand the strange British Nursery Song or whatever it was, but I did like watching the pledges get embarrassed every time they had to sing when the cute cheerleaders walked past. So, I put 40 Bucks in the bucket when I knew the 3rd Years would be heading to practise” Pietro said pointing to the school statue.

You had nearly fallen over laughing at his story. Pietro noticed how you scrunched your nose up when you laughed. Like a rabbit. No like a Bunny. When Pietro walked you back to your dorm, he wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss you, but when you let him hold your hand, he decided at that moment he would regret it more if he didn’t take the plunge.

The moment he knew he was yours and you were his was at a party, he’d taken you on lots of hot chocolate dates, he knew you didn’t like coffee because it tasted bitter to you and that coca was nice, but you preferred the sweet comfort of a creamy hot chocolate.

It was at a party being held by the Ice Hockey team to celebrate their latest string of wins. You didn’t come to parties often preferring the comfort of a book and a cosy night in, but you always tried to attend parties after the football matches. You walked in wearing a red top and black skinny jeans.

The top wasn’t super low cut, but it hinted at your cleavage, you’d left your hair down for a change in loose curls. You’d recently gotten your hair dyed a deep chocolate brown and it brought out your eyes. Pietro nearly lost his damn mind when his Ice-blue eyes met your chocolate brown eyes after he’d drank all of you in. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Scott Summers and co making his way over to you.

“Bunny, you look good enough to eat,” Pietro said dipping his head down to meet your lips, your lips were always so warm and welcoming a stark comparison to his cool lips.

“Bunny?” You replied scrunching your nose up. This was the first time Pietro had called you a pet name, you felt your heart somersault.

Pietro was messaging his sister on the drive home. He could tell you had something on your mind, but he knew better than to push you.

“So,” you began.

“What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone.

“Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re clearly going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said. Well yeah Pietro thought, was he meant to be keeping you guys a secret? He didn’t want to, and he had just assumed you were a couple. You did couple type things, watching movies together curled up, holding hands when you guys were out together.

“So you were wondering what we are?” Pietro’s couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. God, you were adorable. He watched your demeanour change and felt a pang of guilt, the determination in your eyes as you tried to not show that you felt embarrassed.

“Hey Bunny, look at me” Pietro grabbed your hand, wanting you to know how much he truly meant the next few words.

“We are a couple. I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself. Pietro held on to your hand stroking circles the rest of the traffic. He couldn’t wait to tell Wanda she was wrong about him never getting serious with anyone.

“Hey Wanda, have you got a second?” Pietro and Wanda were heading out to meet up with you and the rest of the old school gang who had made it home for the Winter Break in the local coffee shop.

“Sure brother, what’s up?” she asked shrugging on her red jacket and lacing up her boots.

“So, you know that girl I told you I was seeing?” Pietro asked, you two hadn’t said if you were going to tell people or just let them figure it out, but he at least wanted to give his twin a heads up. Wanda straightened her brown hair falling behind her ears. She impatiently cocked an eyebrow waiting for her twin to continue. They were going to be late at this rate.

“Well, you know her. In Fact, you’re good friends” Pietro continued sucking in his breath.

“If you mean to tell me you’re dating Y/N, I already know brother”, Pietro froze. “I’m happy for you, but if you break her heart like that James did, I will not hesitate to kill you and hide the body” she continued.

“How did you know?” Pietro couldn’t help but ask, you guys hadn’t been a secret, but you hadn’t exactly announced it to the world either.

“I’m good at reading people Pietro” Wanda shrugged before heading out the door.

“You sly dog,” Sam said chuckling. Just then Peter turned up. Sam’s comment hadn’t escaped you, so you simply shot Pietro a quizzical look, one of your eyebrows arched. Pietro gently shook his head. He’d tell you about the phone call later.

It was great hanging out with the old gang, shame about Carol, and Jane being unable to make it back. Bucky was dating that Natasha chick and hadn’t come home from the holidays. Evidently, this wasn’t a surprise to Sam or Wanda. Pietro however was a bit taken back. That was until he heard how his sister had almost killed Bucky when she had run into him last summer. Carol had had to restrain her. Pietro couldn’t lie he was kind of bummed to miss it.

Pietro and Wanda didn’t celebrate Christmas, but they did celebrate being around people they loved and as the four of you sat around waiting for Peter Parker to make an appearance, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. You hadn’t even reacted to the mentions of Bucky. The way your brown eyes lit up when you teased Sam about his poor season or crinkled your nose when Wanda complimented your new hair, made Pietro come completely undone. Not being able to restrain himself anymore he leant in and kissed you, a slow soft kiss. The taste of your gingerbread cookie and peppermint hot chocolate lingering on your lips. When Pietro pulled away, he shot Sam a wink, and you promptly turned crimson. Sam just sat there gawking. Pietro watched as Sam tried to piece together his hazy memory from that phone call.

2012

Pietro absolutely adored the photo you had gotten him for Christmas, displaying it on his bedside table proudly. He had brought you a stuffed bunny for Christmas, cheesy but it made you beam at him.

“A Bunny for my Bunny” Pietro said shooting you his signature grin. Your heart constricted; it was an adorable soft fluffy powder blue bunny.

After winter break things got crazy busy. The year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top, your rehearsals for the play. Pietro’s football practises, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe. Pietro always looked forward to football games, not because he loved playing which he did, no it was because when you were cheering your face lit up, you always had his number painted on your cheek. Your brown hair always pulled up in a high ponytail, accentuating your big beautiful brown eyes that always looked for Pietro’s ice-blue eyes on the field. Mostly he loved the looks of jealousy he would get from the other team when players would be checking you out. Pietro would always come over for a kiss for good luck when he wasn’t on the field. You always giggled about how Mr cool; the confident cocky big-time football player was such a dork around you. Pietro was fast, sometimes your eyes couldn’t quite make out his movements, all you would see was a flash of his silver-blonde hair that peeked out under his helmet. You had started calling him Quicksilver, originally as a joke but it had stuck.

“So, move in with me for the summer,” he had said, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t a big deal really but the thought of waking up to you every day for the summer made him practically giddy. Pietro continued to stroke circles on your bare legs. He was watching Grease, but he wasn’t absorbing what was being said.

Pietro loved every single second he got to spend with you, but mostly he loved the summer. College football season had finished, school was winding down and it meant he got to sit in those quiet moments with you. Pietro had no plans to go home for the Summer.

Pietro adored you more than he was willing to admit, hell he loved you which is why he was always never going to push you for anything more than you were comfortable with. He was content just kissing you, steamy make-out sessions. He just liked being close to you breathing in your scent, in the winter you always smelt like Vanilla and crushed Rose Petals. In the summer you changed your body spray, and he hadn’t quite been able to pinpoint the smell, but you smelt like Peaches, sunscreen, and sunshine. Okay, maybe not sunshine but he felt the warmth of your presence every time you were together. Pietro knew you were stressing about summer accommodation so he couldn’t help but offer up his place.

“Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD Pietro had been so focused on trying to play it cool he hadn’t even heard you the first time you spoke. When you started undressing, Pietro didn’t know where to look. Sure, you’d spent nights together, but Pietro always left you to get changed in his room whilst he went to brush his teeth. His eyes couldn’t help but wander over your body as you walked into your bedroom. Pietro inwardly groaned and felt himself harden. Trying to take his mind off what he had just witnessed he pulled out his phone. That’s when you appeared in the door frame, wearing nothing but his football jersey, when it lifted to show the skin of your bare stomach Pietro nearly lost his damn mind.

“Well, are you coming or not handsome?” Pietro grinned throwing his phone on the sofa and closing the gap between you in seconds, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. Pietro was certain that if he didn’t get his way with you right that second, he would combust.

Winter Break 2012

“You love her, don’t you?” Wanda asked Pietro. You were finishing up tech rehearsals, so Wanda and Pietro were enjoying some sibling bonding by cooking Paprikash. Wanda’s eyes narrowed at Pietro who was avoiding eye contact with his sister. He could feel his sisters warm blue eyes boring into him. Eventually, Pietro stopped washing up and turned to face his sister. Wiping his hands on a tea towel he finally lifted his eyes to meet Wanda’s.

“Yes, of course, I do but that’s not a secret, so what are you actually asking Wanda?” Pietro raked a hand through his silver-blonde hair.

“It's obvious you two love each other Pietro, dearly. But you’re in love with her, you would hang the stars for that girl, and when are you going to admit it? You visibly had a thing for her back in high school and you have healed the damage done by James Barnes. So why don’t you let your guard down and tell her how you truly feel?” Wanda asked. Pietro stood there dumbfounded. Had it genuinely been that obvious to people he had liked you back in high school when you were Bucky’s girl? As if reading Pietro’s mind Wanda answered his question.

“You may have fooled everyone else Pietro, but not me” Wanda returned to her cooking and that was the last of the conversation.

“Are you sure your mum doesn’t mind me staying with you guys for winter break?” you asked twiddling your hair nervously. Pietro chuckled lifting your small suitcase into his car.

“Come on then quicksilver, let’s get going before the traffic builds up,” you said shooting him a grin your worries disappearing.

“Yes Bunny, she wouldn’t hear of you staying here alone. Besides, Wanda would rip my arms off if I even thought about coming home without you” he said pressing a kiss to your temple. Pietro had refused to let you drive saying it was his turn as you had driven last year. You still looked unsure tugging at the selves of your red jumper dress as you walked round to the front of his car. Your brown hair fell in loose waves, still slightly damp from your last-minute shower.

Pietro sensed something else was bothering you but didn’t push it. Instead, he hopped up on the bonnet of his car and pulled you between his legs. Pressing his forehead to yours, he uttered a silent promise that his mum would love you and that that the rest of the old gang would be happy for you both like they had all sworn they were. You looked up at him through your big doe eyes and pecked a gentle kiss on his nose.

“So, who did you say was coming tonight again?” you asked. You were standing in Wanda’s room whilst you both got ready for the small hang out Pietro and Wanda were hosting. Pietro had gone out to pick up Sam and Peter Parker and this girl he was bringing, Gwen. Pietro of course had been right about his mum loving you, you’d spent the last four days feeling welcome, included and at home. Wanda and Pietro’s mum had enveloped you into a big hug the moment she met you.

“Sam, Jane, Peter and his girlfriend Gwen. Carol’s coming, I think she said she was bringing her girlfriend. Now put this on” Wanda said handing you a low cut, slim-fitting black sweater dress. You rolled your eyes at Wanda; you were quite happy wearing one of Pietro’s oversized sweaters and your jeans, but you knew better than to argue with her. Just then you heard the door shut.

“It will be great to have so many of the old group back together,” Sam said shrugging off his jacket as he followed Pietro down to the converted basement.

“How are things between you and Y/N?” Sam asked.

“Sam, they’re pretty amazing,” Pietro said, a slight blush forming in his cheeks.

“Okay, that’s good to hear. Did you know Bucky’s in town for the holidays? I text him saying he should come along tonight; I hope that’s okay?” Sam asked. Pietro shrugged, he hadn’t spoken to Bucky since Bucky’s graduation and even then, that had been by phone. It wasn’t that Pietro actively avoided speaking with Bucky, it’s just that Pietro didn’t have anything to say to Bucky.

The pair of you had spoken in great detail about everything that went down between Bucky and yourself last year after winter break, and Pietro could see you still carried the scars from what he had done to when he cheated on yourself. Just then Wanda and you made your way downstairs into the basement. Pietro felt himself harden when he got a good look at what you were wearing. It was going to be a long night whilst Pietro thought the urge to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless. As if reading her brothers thoughts Wanda smirked to herself, a job well done, maybe now her brother would grow some balls and finally tell you exactly how he felt.

“Bunny, you look. Just wow” Pietro said. Sam rolled his eyes, you giggled before walking over to give Pietro a gentle kiss on the lips. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him close before you felt his hardened member. You cocked an eyebrow at him, but Pietro shook his head brushing your hair behind your ears before giving you another gentle kiss.

After about two hours, everyone had relaxed, caught up and were just chilling. Sam hadn’t heard from Bucky, so Pietro hadn’t thought anything more about it, no sense bringing it up to you if he didn’t show.

Sam had also gotten up nudging Pietro, swearing he would beat him next time. Pietro chuckled, that’s when Sam nudged him.

“You sly bastard Parker” Sam practically shouted. The three of them were playing Mario Kart whilst Taylor Swift played in the background, all though he’d never admit to anyone, including no, especially you. Taylor Swift had grown on him over the past year. Mostly because he loved the way you lit up when you sang along to her in the car.

Pietro was so engrossed in his game with the boys he barely registered you getting up off the sofa next to him. Whilst Sam had been busy yelling at Peter for using Banana peels, Pietro had overtaken Sam in the race. Once the game finished Pietro noticed you weren’t next to him. Feeling empty without you snuggled next to him he got up and stretched. He figured you were probably talking to the girls or something.

“Uh, Pietro, you might want to go save your girl from an awkward encounter with her ex” Sam looked pained. He was realising the error of his ways by inviting Bucky along. Pietro just shot him a puzzled look before following Sam’s line of sight. Pietro sucked a breath in.

“Sam, I swear to god if she ends up in tears tonight because of you, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face,” Pietro said before walking off to the fridge where you and Bucky stood.

“Yeah, schools fine thanks Bucky,” you said politely. Pietro’s heart was beating loudly in his chest, he had no concerns about how secure your relationship was, he just wanted to save you from any unnecessary heartbreak when it came to James “Bucky” Barnes.

December 2012 – August 2014

“Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you.

“Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed.

“Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro.

“Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa. Pietro instantly felt himself relax, glad to see that you hadn’t been impacted by Bucky’s sudden appearance. He grinned at you as he let you drag him behind you,

“What?” you said chuckling at his goofy grin.

“I’m just so fucking in love with you Y/N,” he said. Your heart skipped a few beats. Sure, you had both said I love you, but the way Pietro’s ice-blue eye’s shone at you, the way he had phrased it as being in love with you, made your heart squeeze, butterflies erupt in your stomach and all those other cliché metaphors.

“Pietro, I am going to rock you fucking world tonight, because I feel the exact same way”, you whispered in his ear. Pietro’s eyes bulged out of his head. He lent down and gave you a hungry kiss, sending electricity coursing through your body. When you finally broke free from the kiss Pietro, caught sight of Bucky glowering in the corner of the room ignoring whatever it was Peter was wittering on about.

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit, so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. Pietro joined you for two summers of family vacations in Miami. Your Grandma took a liking to him.

“Pietro, so good to see you again,” she said hugging him. “If I was 55 years younger”, she said shooting Pietro a wink. Pietro chuckled and stuck his tongue out at you.

“See I told you that she loved me the most out of all of you,” he said. You rolled your eyes. Pietro was right your grandma did have a soft spot for him. Who could blame her? Pietro was a true gentleman and his muscles stretched out any shirt he wore. His floppy silver-blonde hair and his goody grin. You were truly a lucky girl. He was going to break your grandma’s heart as much as yours when you two ended things this summer.

Saying goodbye to you was going to be one of the hardest things he ever had to do. The pair of you had spent the last week of summer in Florida with Wanda and her boyfriend James also known as Vision. Tomorrow you would both be getting on separate planes and going your separate ways. You were dancing around in the sea not a care in the world.

Pietro loved the way you were in the summer, the stresses of school melted away. You burned easily so your skin always had a very faint sun-kissed glow to it, but the way you were with your family. That was when you truly glowed. The way you blushed when your parents would talk about how proud they were of you. You were an only child, so your cousins were the closest thing to siblings you had.

And boy did your two male cousins pick on you. Teasing you about being smart, your relationship with Pietro. The way you would roll your eyes at them. Pietro’s heart squeezed with adoration when he watched you huddled in the kitchen with your grandma. Oblivious to the fact he was watching your brow would furrow in concentration as your grandma bossed you about in the kitchen whilst the pair of you cooked up some delicious treats.

“You know brother if you asked her to do long distance and wait for you, she would”, Wanda said sitting down next to Pietro. Wanda’s red hair almost looked like fire in the setting sun. Pietro sighed and shook his head.

“I know, but it’s not right or fair on her. She has plans of her own and we will be busy setting up your fashion label in NYC” he said, raking a hand through his hair.

“Besides, She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. She deserves to enjoy her last year, her heart is in Michigan, where her mum and dad are.” Pietro sighed. Just then you came bounding over. Your black bikini just about covering all it needed too. You plopped down on the blanket beside Pietro, your brown hair trying to escape its messy bun. You rested your head in Pietro’s lap. You giggled as he gently bopped your nose. Swallowing down the ache in your chest.

The pair of you stood wrapped in each other’s embrace at the airport, the rest of the world shut out. Pietro breathing in your familiar scent one last time. He didn’t need to hear you to know you were crying. It was taking everything in him not to cry too.

“Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried. When you finally broke the embrace and Pietro boarded. He wiped away the few tears that had escaped his eyes.