#i would rather eat glass
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okay but does anyone ever get the wild thought of what would happen if you were to post your fic/chap before editing it 3x over??
*shudders*
the h o r r o r
#i would rather eat glass#its always “this is art”#until you read it over#then its a kids finger painting#fic writing woes#fic prompts#fic writing#ficblr#writblr#writing woes#writing prompt#fic writing problems#fic writing things#writing community#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing life#wolfstar#wolfstar fic#drarry#drarry headcanon#wolfstar hc#wolfstar headcanon#drarry fic#wolfstar au#remus x sirius#sirius x remus
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not my dad mansplaining SPOCK to me…
#i no longer have a father#smfh???#as if star trek was created for MEN god he’s so annoying#my mom was like oh you guys should go to the star trek convention together next year#DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT THOSE THINGS?#i would rather eat glass#anyway spock is for women and queers and ppl with autism thanks and fuck you MEN
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“ignoring women surrounding the men i love” thank god it’s relatively easy with louis lmfaooo cuz he’s so private 😭 id kms if he’d ever do a music video like this tho like i’m sorry but my parasocial relationship won’t handle that well 😭
Louis would be great in a heavy PDA mv though, if Elounor has proven anything it's Louis' great acting skills around women who are paid to be his love interest
#answered ask#anon#for legal purposes this is a joke#girl#just the rumors about him kissing that mexican girl had me in shambles#i would rather eat glass
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paris and their favorite cousins in their younger years, when things were a bit simpler. (evander on the left, patroclus on the right. baby cousins not shown)
#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur#mygposes.#the tatlonghari brotherrrssssssss 🥺🤧#what are they talking about here. probably talking shit about their uncle#posted this on the seafloor and evander got scolded for smoking lol#they don't know he's a chainsmoker who taught paris how to make their own cigs#sometimes you need a shitty older cousin/big brother figure to teach you things. like raiding your grandpa's liquor cabinet#and yes paris has more cousins. they lived with their aunt cassandra and her kids for a good 11 years or so and become a pseudo big sibling#+ one other baby cousin who's their shitty uncle's kid that they didn't hang out with as often#i'll show them off at a later time#i made this alt outfit for teen!paris and they look kinda nice in it. paris would never wear a skirt again tho they would rather eat glass#they only wore this because their more conservative family members didn't like them dressing masculine much less acting masculine
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its actually so wild to me that back in the early glee times people were defending kurt/blaine and doing the better boyfriend olympics thing, picking a side, saying x was always right etc….. like. idk. maybe its just me, but i became attached to klaine because they are messy???? i want them to fight, i want them to be a mess- thats what is interesting to me?? that they love each other and keeping fucking it up but they cant stay away from each other and keep trying??? theres something inherently delicious and desperate about that.
#conflict makes a good story no???#toxic yaoi????#like if they were just gooey for like episodes upon episodes it would nooooot have left an impact on me.#i dont want my ships to be perfect#id rather eat glass actually#glee#personal
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brand of person who puts their long rants about how much they hate a ship in the fandom / character tags (or, god forbid, the ship tag) is kinda the worst but what i find even more puzzling is the phenomena of extensively tagging a brief, blandly negative post about a character or ship. like
really just dont vibe with near :/ sorry. #death note #near death note #nate river #near
like. with the longass rants at least they're SAYING something (even if that something is stupid and unnecessary)? why would anyone in the world care about your one-sentence post on being uninterested in a ship or character??? no one asked baby </3
#neallopost#honestly it's probably 14 year olds like 50% of the time so i try to extend a little grace because#i would rather eat glass than be 14 again but.
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I love seeing people analyzing Vash (and Knives') stubborn and hypocritical traits, even early on, but as someone with siblings I feel like sometimes people aren't realizing that when siblings take opposing positions in a fight there's a good chance neither will budge on their position unless someone else steps in, even if said position ends up being obviously dumb
It's not a matter of being right, but a matter of proving a point (no matter how stupid it is) because you can never be the one who is Wrong™️ in front of their siblings
#I have yet to admit that I was wrong during a fight with my brother over who played what role in a movie#and with god as my witness if I can help it I will keep it up until my dying day because I would rather eat glass than admit that to him#yeah Vash and Knives are stubborn in their viewpoints to the point of hypocritical self-destruction but what else are they supposed to do?#admit that maybe they weren't always correct? to their sibling? and then actually learn to apologize?? to their sibling??#lmao good luck with that#trigun#trigun stampede
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the thing is malaysia does have an issue with antisemitism and it is a real problem but i have zero interest in hearing about it from zionists not only because their definition of antisemitism is "anything even remotely critical of the state of israel" but also because they are so egregiously racist and islamophobic there is no way to have an actually constructive discussion about any of it they just default to using slurs
#ive spoken about the topic at length with friends and family but i would rather eat glass than try to discuss it with strangers online#and to be frank i do not think the way antisemitism manifests in malaysia is unique
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I need to be put in a proper enclosure or I will become sickly and wither away.
(Proper enclosure: small discord server where 25+ y/o slow and casual artists like me, who are too quiet and timid for bigger servers, share and yap about their silly little ocs and half-baked ideas and hype up each other)
#bluh bluh#personal post#small (3-10 user) because in a bigger server it's hard to get a word in and your posts get drowned and ignored#i've tried being in bigger (30-50 user) art and oc servers before and it just doesn't work for me#25+ y/o because man sometimes you just feel out of place and Too Old in spaces dominated by teenagers and young adults#casual artists because at a certain point i just can't keep up or feel too self-conscious to post#my 27 yr old tired office worker ass would rather eat glass than put my art in front of a bunch of 17 yr olds that draw at a pro level#though in reality i'm not sure what i actually want#i'm always dying to talk about my ocs but also cringe at the idea of doing so because they're really not all that good or developed#''hi this is my crusty little guy/magic system idea/story scenario‚ they're uhh... uhh... oh jesus christ just kill me already''
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I love Franziska von Karma because her character growth is so unique. She does not acknowledge any wrongdoings, instead she simply changes her behavior and when someone brings up her shitty little past actions she’s all like “that was the past. This is now. Get with the times, old man”
The old man in question is Miles Edgeworth.
#ace attorney#i love her so much#and if someone can#find a canon time that she’s actually apologized let me know#but like changing your behavior is a true mark of growth#and she is doing that. but she would rather eat glass than apologize to Phoenix Wright
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*The Baroness(aka nanny) and Cedric watching from the sidelines Callisto’s very dubious attempts at flirting and wooing Penelope*
Baroness: dear me…what is he doing?
Cedric: his best.
*observing as Penelope just whacked him and almost stormed off, and Callisto stopped her*
Baroness:
Cedric:
Baroness: ah, it seems to not be working very well…
Cedric: His Highness’ best is considered the Princess’ worst. Now we just trust the process.
#this is canon#I was Cedric’s glasses#the Baroness and Cedric feel bad for the both of them#they just want to know where they went wrong when teaching Callisto#they don’t know this is Callisto’s own very unique way of flirting#Cedric deadass said ‘trust the process’#Callisto is trying his best really#Penelope feels oddly offended#Penelope would rather eat rocks than admit she actually likes it#she does like his dubious flirting#callisto regulus#penelope eckart#penelope eckhart#penelope eckart x callisto regulus#cedric porter#the baroness (vadtd)#villains are destined to die#vadd#death is the only ending for a villainess#death is the only ending for the villainess#death is the only ending for the villainess incorrect quotes#vadd headcanon
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snippets of a life post-storm and rayashki is back from being reversed and windsong gets a fuck-ton of letters from them wherever she is in the world
#reverse 1999#snippets#trout talks#at its core its a cheesy wip of vilasong being an old married couple. also myself pondering a late fourties windsong in glasses.#hagsong real!!!!!#honestly wondered for a long while on what avgust would be doing as an adult and i think he'd make a living on children's books#and while i think he'd rather stay in rayashki in here he travels around for inspiration.#knut's still alive btw. he's gonna outlive everyone maybe except vila with her longlived rusalka blood#one of vila's birthday letters apparently mention that rusalka have longer lifespans that humans so angst lovers i know you guys will#eat that fact up.
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And I try to move on, but I just can't let go
Summary: Rooney Shepard takes a missing person's case at the request of Rogue Amendiares; they do not expect the client to be their ex-boyfriend, Yorinobu Arasaka. Title comes from nightlife's fallback. Rating: Mature Warnings: Referenced Character Death (Specifically Jackie and Rooney's), Referenced Human Experimentation (Rooney), and I think that is everything. Let me know if I need to tag for anything else. Words: 5,198 Author's Note: Just wanted to explain: Rooney's original universe is Mass Effect. I've tried to blend part of the events of Mass Effect (not the aliens and reapers, but their pre-service history and similar events) into Cyberpunk 2077. I tried to fit it in as best I can, staying within the confines of the universe, but I've changed parts of canon. Tagging: @bbrocklesnar. @marivenah, @voidika, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @amalkavian, @onehornedbeast, @captastra, @alexxmason, @captmactavish, @inafieldofdaisies, @vizarding, and @thedeadthree. I added everyone who liked this post; I hope it's okay that I tagged you. If you want to or don't want to be tagged, let me know.
AO3
Music blasts loudly as Rooney Shepard steps into the Afterlife, a deep frown on their face. Around them, patrons of the club shout, trying to make themselves heard over the music. Their head throbs, a headache forming as they head towards the bar. Why couldn’t this have been a holo call? Rooney supposes it must be an important missing person’s case if Rogue wanted to drag them down to the Afterlife. Glancing over to her booth, Rooney catches sight of Rogue holding court, already occupied with some merc. Could be a while before she’s ready to see them. They grab a stool at the bar, catching sight of themself in the reflection of the glass panels. In the neon green light, Rooney looks sickly pale, washed out. The dark circles under their eyes stand out prominently, a thousand-yard stare gazing back at them. If it were anyone else, Rooney would describe them as haunted, but they’re fine, nothing is wrong with them. They have to be fine.
A moment later, Claire is in front of them with a sympathetic smile as she places her hands down on the bar. “Here for work or play, Shepard?”
“Work.” I would never come here for relaxation, Rooney adds silently. Relaxation used to be nights building model ships with a decent beer. Or a night at some cheap dive bar with V, Jackie, Misty, and Vik, chatting and listening to classic rock. Now…Now, V is dying, and Rooney needs to help them find a cure. No matter what it personally costs them.
Claire nods, motioning over their shoulder. “Understood. Although, I think some hope that you might come in here for a night off.” They follow her gaze, towards a Corpo, sharing a table with two of his colleagues. He raises his beer in greeting before motioning to come over, all while giving Rooney a flirtatious smile. Not interested. Shaking their head, Rooney looks back to Claire. They weren’t really interested in anyone like that since…“I’ll get you your usual, Shepard, even though you look like you could use a beer.”
“Thank you.” As Claire goes to get their drink, Rooney breathes deeply. Focus, Rooney, Focus. They need to be focused, especially for a case.
She returns with their soda, sliding it towards them as she glances over towards Rogue’s booth. “Rogue is ready for you.” They nod, flicking the creds to her along with a good tip as they get off the stool. Rooney takes the drink with them, making their way over to Rogue.
Squama nods as they approach, with Rooney returning one of their own as he moves to let them pass. Behind him, Rogue lounges, faintly reminding Rooney of a Lioness from the old nature vids they used to watch as a child. She watches them carefully, despite her fairly relaxed posture. “Shepard,” She greets them with a fairly no-nonsense tone, motioning for them to sit.
“Rogue,” Rooney sits, placing their drink down on the table. They watch her carefully, knowing Rogue is one of the few people not to underestimate in Night City. You do not become Queen without disposing of a few pawns. Besides, Rooney is curious about why they are here. Normally, Rogue preferred to give them cases over the holo with a slightly mocking tone or have a client reach out to Rooney directly. It was the rare few that ever required Rooney to come to the Afterlife.
“I have a job for you.”
Rooney raises an eyebrow, holding back a sarcastic response. “I assumed. Why meet in-person for this one?”
“This job requires…” Rogue pauses, looking away briefly as she searches for the right word, “discretion.”
As Rogue looks back at them, alarm bells ring in their mind. Adrenaline spikes as their heart beats faster. Rooney tenses, eyes scanning around the room for potential threats. Nothing good ever happens when someone mentions being discrete. They know all too well from their time in the military that it meant covering up dirty laundry, protecting the reputation of powerful people. And if anyone should find out the truth? God help them all. For all Rooney cares, someone else can have this case. “No.”
“No?”
Shaking their head, Rooney stands, on high alert, “I don’t want it. Give it to someone else.”
“Shepard, don’t be so dramatic,” Rogue rolls her eyes, “You haven’t even heard-.”
“Don’t care.” Right now, they’re getting the same bad feeling about this job as they had about V and Jackie’s gig with that idiot Dexter DeShawn. And look where those two ended up: Jackie six feet under and V well on their way there. “I’m not interested. You can find-.”
“Sit,” Rogue commands with more authority than some of their previous COs, “Hear me out, and if you still don’t want it after, I’ll find someone else.”
Leave. LEAVE! Their brain screams at them, but curiosity wins out in the end as Rooney sits back down.
“You weren’t my first choice for this gig, Shepard.”
“So, that means others passed on it.”
“You might not be my first choice, but I haven’t told anyone else about it yet,” She pauses for a second, “I hoped I could think of someone else for this. You won’t like the client.”
“Rogue, if you’re trying to convince me, you aren’t being very persuasive about it.”
“You’re only here because you get results. And the client needs results.” She emphasizes that last part, her voice taking on a serious tone. “The client needs you to find someone. Quickly and quietly.”
“A merc could do that for you.”
“They also need someone who isn’t the type to shoot first and ask questions later. They need someone who can handle this with a fine touch.”
“Again, I’m sure you could find a thousand mercs in this city who meet that requirement. I’m a PI.”
“Not as many as you would think,” she counters, her gaze drifting down to their left hand, the metal one forced on them by Arasaka, “You might find this case to be personal.”
They clench their fist, his voice in their head: “I hope you make him and Arasaka regret doing this to you”. Saburo Arasaka might be dead, but his shadow loomed large over Night City and Arasaka still. “Rogue, are you saying that Arasaka is going after someone who might need help getting away from them?”
Rogue smirks and Rooney finally feels like they’re catching on. “Maybe,” she shrugs, playing a slightly disinterested tone, “But you don’t want-.”
“I’ll take it.” Rooney has a terribly bad feeling about this job, and they’re playing right into her hands, but they won’t let someone suffer at the hands of Arasaka. What if this person could help V, saving them from the parasite in their head? Or what if it was V? Arasaka had already sent exterminators after V. Rooney wouldn’t put it past them to send someone after V, and who better to help V evade capture than a friend? This job might be a trap, but they’ve walked willingly into traps before and come out alive. Unscathed was a different matter.
“Good,” She flicks her wrist, sending them a text, their holo beeping a moment later. “You’ll find the details for your meeting with them in an hour and a half.” They frown, opening the message as they notice the meeting location set for the Ebunike with very little information on the client. “You’ll hear the exact details from the client. Wanted to keep some of the mystery.”
Dismissed. They get up, sighing. “I’ll get to the bottom of this, one way or another.”
“I’m sure you will, Shepard.” As they leave, all Rooney can think is: What have they gotten themself into?
—
As soon as they leave the Afterlife, Rooney heads towards the docks on their black motorcycle, hoping they’ll have some time for surveillance. They do, but their preliminary surveillance leaves them with more questions than answers. Maelstrom guard the dock, providing little useful information. They hear the name “Grayson” a few times, who seems to be in charge of the operation. Rooney would need to investigate him more, but it wasn’t a good sign that he was working with the Maelstrom or Arasaka. Whoever Arasaka was looking for was in deep, deep trouble.
Deactivating their optical camo, Rooney emerges from the shadows, hands by their side as they approach the two Maelstrom guarding the entrance. They are hyper-vigilant, keeping an eye out with their electrified monowires at the ready. “Oh fuck!” One of the Maelstrom exclaims while they both jump at the sight of Rooney approaching. Rooney…wasn’t on good terms with the Maelstrom. While they preferred to use non-violent methods to resolve conflict, the Maelstrom weren’t always willing to listen. And Rooney was willing to use violence if necessary. “Shepard, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“I’m not here for you two,” the two Maelstrom glance at each other, seemingly unconvinced by their words, “I’m here for a meeting with your boss on the Ebunike about a missing person’s case.”
Scratching his head, one asks, “Why should we fucking believe you?”
“Yeah,” the other crosses her arms, “What if this is a trap?”
If it was a trap, these two would have never seen it coming. “Call your boss and tell him Rogue Amendiares sent me. If he does not vouch for me, I’ll leave. Peacefully. You have my word.”
The Maelstrom sighs, his eyes alighting as he makes the call. “Grayson, we have someone for you. Says Rogue fucking sent them. Want us to send them home in a body bag?” He’s silent for a moment before his eyes flick back over to them. “It’s Shepard.” Silent again before sighing, “I’ll fucking bring them over”.
The call ends, and he turns to Rooney. “Grayson vouches for ya. Says I’m supposed to fucking bring you to him like I’m a goddamn messenger boy.”
“Lead the way,” Rooney motions, “We both have a vested interest in having this end as soon as possible.”
The Maelstrom motions for Rooney to follow as his compatriot stays behind to guard the gate. Rooney follows him silently, making more mental notes as they weave their way through the docks. Lots of containers, stacked high, which meant lots of hiding places, a good and bad thing. Good as it meant plenty of places for Rooney to disappear to give them an edge. Bad as it meant their enemy also had the same opportunity to surprise them. They also noticed a few good vantage points, which would have been excellent for sniping if they brought their sniper rifle, Black Widow, with them. They had the sniper rifle with them during their whole military career, even during the Unification War. Eventually, they reach the Ebunike with the Maelstrom guide, climbing the stairs behind him. As they ascend, Rooney wonders who at Arasaka would need such a large, moored ship. It did not seem like a typical Arasaka meeting place. If anything, Arasaka liked to hold meetings in their buildings or businesses with which they had deep ties. Corps liked to be in control, and Arasaka was no exception.
Dread grows within them, like the blade of a guillotine hanging over a soon-to-be executed man. Reaching the center of the deck, Rooney finds Grayson with a few Maelstrom beside him. He looks relaxed, too relaxed for their liking. “Shepard, thank you for coming. I hope the Maelstrom weren’t too rude to you,” Grayson greets them with an unearned air of friendliness.
“They were fine.” No, the Maelstrom weren’t, but Rooney was not about to tip their hand. They glance around the dock, taking stock of their situation. Some more containers, but nothing that would be too useful. Too open for their liking. Keeping a professional tone, Rooney states, “As I said to your friend, Rogue Amendiares sent me. Told me you had a missing person’s case for me.”
“We do, Shepard.” The world drops out from under them as the door to a container opens behind them. Rooney’s eyes widen briefly at the sound of a familiar borg voice, their anxiety spiking. Instinct kicks in a second later, and Rooney spins around, activating their electrified monowire. The wire gleams brightly in the dim lighting of the ship’s deck, an audible hum of electricity in the air. Rooney tastes the electricity in their mouth, a side effect of their monowires. In the dark of the container, two red glowing eyes stare at them. A second later, they heard the sound of loud machinery, Adam Smasher, Yorinobu Arasaka’s personal bodyguard, stomping towards them. He laughs, sending a shiver down Rooney’s spine as he comes out into the light. “Put the fucking wire away, Shepard. I’m not here to kill you. Yet.”
He’s trying to get a rise out of them, and it’s fucking working. Rooney never liked Adam Smasher, too machine-like for their taste. Too cruel; too callous. They don’t put the wire down, wondering why Smasher would be on the Ebunike of all places. And then, the awful thought hits them like a rocket a second later. Oh no. Oh no. Smasher has to be here for V. Or he’s looking for Takemura, who will undoubtedly lead him straight to V. They cannot let that happen. V won’t stand a chance against Smasher. At least, not without some serious chrome, firepower, and allies. Rooney won’t fail V, not like how they failed to protect-. “What do you want?” Their tone is sharp as steel.
“Put the wire-.”
“I’m only going to ask you once,” Rooney cuts Smasher off, the Maelstrom and Grayson audibly gasping at their audacity, “What. Do. You. Want.”
The tension is thick in the air with Rooney ready to snap at any moment. They know they might not win against Smasher in a straight-up fight, but if they get clever, Rooney can-. “He’ll want to tell you himself. The brat will have a fucking tantrum if I don’t let him tell you.”
They holster their monowires, fairly certain that Smasher doesn’t mean them harm. Curious eyes burn into Rooney, everyone wondering why they would cause such a stir with Smasher’s boss. “I doubt he wants to see me. I think it would be better if you and I talked-.”
“No one ever rejected him the way you did, Shepard. Was licking his fucking wounds for weeks.” Dread morphs into guilt, and Rooney looks away. They hadn’t wanted to hurt Yorinobu, but they needed to return to the Military. It was their home, or at least, it had been at one point. “’Sides, even if I told you, you don’t fucking think he would come to find you himself?”
He would come looking for them, which would place V in even more danger. Vik, Misty, and Mamá Welles too. “You don’t have to tell him. You could always withhold my identity.”
“Pays me too much for that, Shepard. You want the fucking gig or not?”
No, they don’t; they really don’t. But this might have something to do with V, and they can’t fail V. Rooney won’t fail V. It also sounds like Yorinobu might be in trouble too. He was the whole reason Rooney got through their time with Arasaka, after being reanimated and jacked with experimental mods. Yorinobu was the first one to make them feel like a person, not so alone. They wanted, no, needed to help Yorinobu if he was in trouble. “I’ll do it. When would he like to meet?”
Something akin to a smile appears on Smasher’s face. “Now.”
—
The ride up to the Arasaka CEO’s office is a silent one as Rooney watches the numbers tick on as the elevator climbs upward. Their last interaction with Yorinobu plays over in their head, the memory as clear as day.
Yorinobu is panic-stricken, holding onto their arm tightly. “Rooney, you cannot go back to them. They threw you away, leaving you to the whims of Arasaka. What happens if you die again?”
Three more floors…
They frown, confused by his behavior. “Yorinobu, you can’t stop me from returning. We both knew I wasn’t going to stay here forever. What did you think would happen?”
Two more floors…
His grip on their arm loosens, face softening. “I thought you might want to stay with me. Help me destroy Arasaka from the inside.”
One more floor…
Rooney pulls their arm from Yorinobu. “In another life, I would have,” He looks heartbroken as they continue softly, “But I made a promise to serve, and I intend to keep my promise.”
The elevator door opens, releasing Rooney from their memories of heartbreak. They walk beside Smasher, gaze focused on the office in front of them. Rooney swallows nervously, rolling their left shoulder, out of habit. They never expected to see Yorinobu again, especially under these circumstances.
Rooney enters Yorinobu’s office with Smasher, Yorinobu standing in front of his desk, his back towards the two. In front of him is a large screen, detailing Arasaka’s stock value, and other information. “Do you have them?” Yorinobu asks, sounding vaguely annoyed.
“Course I have them,” Smasher motions to Shepard, “Do I ever come up fucking empty handed?”
Yorinobu shakes his head, placing the holopad down. He turns, facing Rooney and Smasher as the pair stop a few feet away from him. Trying to stay collected, Rooney feels like they’ve had the wind knocked out of them. He’s in front of them; Yorinobu is really in front of them. Yorinobu must be feeling the same way. His eyes widen behind his glasses, shock clear on his face. “Rooney?”
He says their name, and they want to run to him so badly. To hold him in their arms and tell Yorinobu that they wish they had reached out sooner. Instead, they clasp their hands behind their back, aiming to treat him as they would any other client. “Good evening Yorinobu,” Rooney feels fairly confident in using his first name while staying professional, “I understand that you need help finding a missing person. I’m happy to work with your team, or I can recommend-.”
“That’s it?” Frustration colors his voice as he shakes his head. “This is the first time we have seen each other since that day, and this is how you react? Like I am stranger? Like nothing happened?”
Yorinobu is so much more to Rooney than a stranger. He’s the one that they let go, the one person who still holds the still-beating pieces of Rooney Shepard’s perpetually broken heart. “You are a client,” Their tone is firm as they continue to dig their grave, ever obstinate, “You are hiring me to find someone. Unless you would prefer someone else to take this case.” Someone who has less emotional baggage.
He looks hurt at their declaration, mumbling something under his breath about how stubborn they are, a badge that they wear with pride. To Smasher, he dismisses the man with a wave of his hand. “Leave.”
“Gladly,” Smasher replies, likely relieved to not be part of their argument. He stomps out of the room, leaving the two alone.
Silence permeates the room as Rooney searches for the right words. Yorinobu huffs, “What about us? Did any of that mean anything to you?”
They flinch a little, hurt a little by the insinuation that Yorinobu thought that Rooney didn’t care about their relationship, that it didn’t matter. But, they were treating him like a client. Sighing, Rooney unclapses their hands from behind their back. They join him at his desk and lean against it as they cross their arms over their chest. “What we had meant a lot to me, Yorinobu,” He perks up a little, some of that signature cockiness returning, “but you made it pretty clear when I left to return to the military that you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“I did not mean-.”
“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean it,” Rooney looks up at him, “I wanted to respect your boundaries, and you made it pretty clear about where we stood.” Yorinobu looks down at his desk, avoiding their gaze. Damnit, they were screwing this up. “Yorinobu,” they gently call his name, and he looks up at them, “I’m here now. Tell me about this case.”
He comes closer to them, the scent of his familiar cologne invading their nose. Woodsy with bits of Cedar and Nutmeg. “Saburo Arasaka is dead,” He admits quietly, meeting their gaze.
“I would give my condolences, but I feel it would be more appropriate to say, may Saburo Arasaka rot in hell.”
Yorinobu smirks, a small laugh escaping him. “May he rot somewhere worse than hell,” He looks away from them, “He was poisoned by his bodyguard.” Not the story I was told, Rooney thinks. They trust that V’s version is more accurate, knowing how much Yorinobu hated his father. But, why was he continuing to give them the same tale he was giving everyone else? Probably because they were an ex he hadn’t seen in a few years. Yorinobu couldn’t know where their loyalties lie. Besides, he wasn’t the only one who was going to keep secrets.
“There were also two thieves that day,” They raise an eyebrow knowing full well that he is referring to V and Jackie, “They stole something from me. Something important.”
“Important how?”
Deftly avoiding the question, he picks up a black flash drive from his desk and comes to stand in front of them. Holding it up, he asks, “I have footage of the crime if you want to see it. Would you like me to insert it for you?”
Rooney nods, tilting their head slightly as brush away their dark red hair, offering him better access to slot the drive in. His right hand gently wraps around their throat, holding them still in place, fingers slightly interlaced with their hair. His brown eyes meet their ocean blue ones for a second, and Rooney’s breath hitches in their throat, a small flame of yearning they thought long buried flickering within them. He slots the drive in, the footage begins to play a second later. Two thieves pop out of the wall, clearly shaken: V and Jackie Welles. Formerly Night City’s dynamic duo. Close friends of Rooney’s. While Jackie and V’s faces are blurred, Rooney can still tell them from a mile away. The two mercs rush over to Saburo’s corpse, panicking over the dead man. The audio is distorted, perhaps on purpose to keep any mention of Yorinobu’s deeds hidden.
“Notice anything?” He asks, leaning in closer, his breath warm on their ear. Yorinobu’s thumb lazily strokes along the edge of their jaw. Rooney swallows, reminding themself to focus on the matter at hand: the footage.
“No.” Jackie and V freak out. Jackie paces back and forth in place, awkwardly holding the stolen goods. V is running back and forth, looking terrified as they search for a way out. A few moments later, Jackie and V are gone, the footage ending. The drive pops out, Yorinobu taking it as he releases their throat. Rooney tries not to miss the touch of his skin against theirs, but it’s hard to shake. “I don’t recognize the perpetrators,” a bold-faced lie, “I can reach out to some of my contacts underground to see if they’ve heard anything. Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“You will need to find only one of the thieves. The man holding what they stole is dead.”
“Anything more?” Yorinobu looks away, placing the drive down, and Rooney senses some hesitancy. But they need to know. If Rooney can find a way to help him and V, they want to. There has to be a path forward; Rooney just can’t see it yet. “Yorinobu,” They say his name softly, uncrossing their arms. Gently, they place their hand on his shoulder, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze, “I know this must be difficult for you, but any detail helps. I want to help you.” Please let me help you.
He grabs a holopad from his desk, swiping it a few times before passing it to Rooney. Taking the pad, their brows furrow as they begin to read the details. Shit, that is the thing that is killing V. “What is this?”
“Do you remember how I told you that my Father did worse things? Things worse than experimenting on you?” They remember the conversation very clearly, the one where Yorinobu swore that he would destroy Arasaka from the inside out. “This is one of them: the Relic.”
“And what does the Relic do?” They already know what it does. It turns idiot mercs with delusions of grandeur into long-dead rockstars.
“My father wanted to live forever,” Yorinobu’s voice is grave, “The Relic was his answer to that.”
Horror washes over them like a wave capsizing a boat in a stormy sea. Their heart skips a beat, the awful insinuation not lost on them. That’s…that’s…There are not enough words in the human language for Rooney to express how awful it is. Shakily, they place the holopad down, facing him with horror clear on their face. Instinctively, Rooney cups his face, searching his eyes. He’s still Yorinobu, the man they knew. But that still doesn’t make them any less worried for him. “Yori..,” their nickname for him slips out in a breathy tone as he uses the opportunity to pull them closer, hands on their hips, “Saburo…he didn’t try to… he didn’t…?” Even after all the terrible things they’ve seen, Rooney can’t bring themself to finish the sentence.
“No, he never got the chance.”
Rooney breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
“Worried for me?”
“Always.” From the moment they left the Arasaka labs, Rooney worried about him, afraid that he might do something rash.
“When did you come to Night City?”
They’re surprised at his question. “I thought we were talking about the case, not about me.”
“You know you need to find the thief and the relic, and I would prefer this was kept between you, Smasher, and I. You will also be compensated generously for your work. But, I am curious as to how you came to live in Night City.”
“I arrived a year and a half ago. Something about being with the military didn’t feel right anymore. I ended up here in Night City, a place where the Free States and the NUS would leave me alone.”
“Did you know I was here?”
They sigh, knowing this would go in circles. “Yes, but I thought-.”
“I know what you thought,” Yorinobu cuts them off, “But did you ever think about contacting me?”
More than he knows. Rooney remembers the first time that they thought about contacting him. It was a rainy day, and they were limping to Vik’s after a nasty run-in with Scavs. As they walk down the rainy street, they catch sight of Yorinobu’s face on a screen. He stops them in their tracks, the world seemingly stopping. They watch, mesmerized, no longer caring that the rain was drenching them as the news report continued. Without thinking, they pull up their contact list, scrolling down to Yorinobu. Rooney hovers over his name, wanting so desperately to call him, to hear his voice. Instead, they close the phone, knowing that some things are better left in the past. The second time was when V was in critical condition. Things were going to shit, and he was one of the first people Rooney wanted to contact. Actually, he was the first, but they decided against it. “I did,” They admit quietly.
“Did you miss me?” A loaded question if Rooney’s ever heard one. And one they refuse to answer. They should keep things professional, already having crossed several lines. “I missed you; I missed you terribly.” He leans down toward them, longing battling within Rooney. God, they want him badly, so badly that it threatens to consume them. He’s so close and Rooney leans up to meet him, wanting Yorinobu so much more than they realize.
“Arasaka-sama,” A voice speaks over the intercom on his desk, “Hanako-Sama is here to see you.” Rooney is jolted back to reality, realizing what they were about to do and how monumentally of a bad idea this was. They release him, gently pulling themself out of his arms. Yorinobu looks pained at their rejection, and a sharp spike of guilt rises in their chest. It’s better for them both this way.
“I should go,” They have to do this, someone has to stop this, and Rooney will take on that responsibility, “I should start working on the case.”
“Rooney, please do not-.”
“Stop.” The wounded look on his face sends another stake of pain in their chest. “Hanako, your sister, needs you right now.”
“And you do not?” They open their mouth, and he cuts them off. “Do not give me some self-serving bullshit about being fine.”
Rooney is fine. Or at least, maybe they’ll convince everyone they are fine if they repeat it enough times. “Doesn’t matter what I need,” They say sharply, giving him a pointed look, “Right now, we need to find the thief and the Relic.” Or at least, buy enough time that they can figure out what to do with this shitstorm of a situation. “I’ll leave my number with Smasher and pass anything I find on to him.” Smasher was one of the last people that Rooney wanted to have their number, but this would be better for everyone.
“No,” They raise an eyebrow before Yorinobu’s eyes alight and they’re receiving a call from him, “Since I still have your number and you have mine, please contact me with all updates. I plan to be very involved in this.”
The door to this office opens, and both turn towards the door, the sound of heels clicking drawing their attention. Hanako Arasaka steps into the office, Sandayu Oda hot on her heels. “Shepard,” Hanako looks surprised, all while staying very prim and proper, “I did not know you were in Night City.”
“Just moved within the last year, Ma’am. Your brother didn’t know either.” Rooney knew what Hanako was fishing for. She had been aware of their relationship with Yorinobu the last time, even if she did not always approve of it. “Oda,” They nod a greeting towards him.
“Shepard,” He returns with a nod of his own.
“Please excuse me. I was just leaving, Ma’am.” They start, making their way to the door.
“Have a pleasant night, Shepard.”
“You as well.” Rooney quickly excuses themself, throwing one last glance over their shoulder at Yorinobu. He catches their gaze, winking at them. They shake their head, fully leaving the office.
As soon as they reach the elevator, Rooney leans against the back wall, letting out a sigh as the elevator door closes. Their holo pings a second later, a familiar name appearing. The text read: We should get a drink sometime. An offer that sounded far more tempting than it should. Rooney closes the message, leaving him on read. This was going to be a long case.
#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077#cyberpunk 2077 fanfic#cp2077 fanfic#yorinobu arasaka#yorinobu arasaka x original character#kate writes#the rooney fic tag#commander rooney shepard#I won't let fear compromise who I am#v: cyberpunk 2077#OTP: It always comes right back to you#I'm putting this out here; I'm letting it go now#I hope it's okay#I was really wanted to share this one so I haven't been letting it sit as long as some of my other stuff#so I hope it's as good as some of my other stuff#Lol both these idiots love each other but Rooney would rather eat glass than actual acknowledge they have feelings in general
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Guys im gonna draw i have time to and im not tired gyys this is so exciting oh my god
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They really want us to work from 7:30 to 5:30 and 4 hours on weekends all for only a bit over minimum wage huh
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