#i would prefer you just tell me what i've done and block me to the weird mindgames or cowardly conflict avoidance or whatever this is

[mostlygibberish]

I just want to know if I'm doing something specific wrong, or am I simply fundamentally unlikeable?

[n0tamused]

Can i request a drabble with Newbie Assistant reader! x jing yuan? I've been thinking (daydreaming) abt this for a while with my delulu brain. From what qingzu says, he prefers everyone adress him as jing yuan. And not full title.

OR

Where reader is his wife and he can't go 1 minute without hugging her and worst part, she works at the seat of divine foresight and everyone at the seat has to witness his love sick behavior. I imagine especially fu xuan will be pissed like 'get to work, general!'

Honestly just a food for thought u don't have to take this srsly. Luv u, byeee <33

A/n: Anon you got my gears turning with this food and you have successfully dragged me out of the hole of writer's block. Thank you for that and I really hope you enjoy this little drabble I made, specifically for the second prompt! Man I love this man I wanna eat him. Just imagine him with a wife that's also on the strict side and just knows to get him back to his work but he just wants another kiss before he lets her leave his embrace-

Content: female reader, fluff, drabble

Big arms find their place around her waist and before she can pluck them off, Jing Yuan has slotted himself against her back. His chin rested on top of her shoulder and his golden eyes sluggish dragged their gaze over the documents his lovely wife was working on sorting out. A signature smile remained plastered over his lips even when he felt the scolding words bubble in your throat.

He never shared her shyness, as he called it, in the workplace. It was nothing that could damage either of their reputation, a little bit of hugging and a few cheek kisses here and there - if anything, he held firm belief that more warm displays of affection could even make the workplace be less stagnant. Why does everyone have to be so stiff? Jing Yuan knew to not cross any boundaries that could make his affections be perceived as something odd or even bad. But in an empty office, like the state it was in now, where no one paid them any mind, he really couldn’t help but pounce at the opportunity. 

“Have you finished your paperwork so soon today, General?” she’d bite at him with her words, fully familiar with his tendencies to neglect the piling papers on his desk. 

“Certainly. For today I have done the amount my hands could endure” Jing Yuan responded with a peck to the side of her exposed neck, smiling into her skin when he smelled some of his soap there. She smelled so warm, so relaxing, and it made him squeeze her in his arms just a little more. He heard his love exhale at his squeeze, and despite the facade she tried to keep on, he could see traces of a smile on her pretty lips when he lifted his gaze. “And what did we say about name calling? I’m Jing Yuan to you, your white lion, your husband, am I not?” He playfully nips at her ear, his warm breath fanning across her skin and making her hairs stand on their ends. “Or have you decided to take back your vows all of a sudden?” That gains a reaction out of you, a huff of a chuckle flying past your mouth at the absurd way he delivered that question. He sounded so serious about it, offended even, making her shift in his embrace.

“Jing Yuan-”

“You just keep gaining more beauty, my love, do you know?”

A long sigh and her shaking her head tell him enough, and he smiles when he sees her smile. “Don’t try to weasel your way out of this. Unhand me now, my dearest husband-” she says it as if she hates it, swatting at his hands until their grip falters. She could swat at them all she wanted but she knew that getting him off of her in this instant would be like trying to separate a nail from the flesh. “You may have done what you think is all for today, but I have more work to get to.. Tell you what..” her eyes finally grace him with the attention of her gaze and he feels like kissing her again, but he refrains as to hear her out. “If you tend to all those papers I’ll pamper your scoundrel self once we are back home, hm? If you don’t, well you can expect the cold shoulder and the couch as your bedroom until it gets done” 

“You are too cruel to me, my dear, you hurt me so..” he feigns offense, all while he leans in and litters her cheek with feather kisses before he finally gets to her lips. One of his hands had snuck its way up and held her other cheek in its palm, tilting her head towards him as he pressed his lips against hers. 

"You know I must resort to rougher measures when you're slacking off-" "Shhh.." he hushes her and places another kiss to her mouth.

Safe to say, that paperwork did get done later. And Jing Yuan got to enjoy a really touchy afternoon with you in his arms. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[heartfullofleeches]

Going to do a small ramble since janitors been getting some misgendering.

Imagine if for a second, janitor just corrected people on their pronouns. Like, sure their in a chaotic fast food place but the least a customer can do is accept the pronouns the fucking cleaner of the establishment uses. Maybe after a long hard day of work, FF! Reader just gives sulli a hug. They deserve it even in this murder happy and very questionably run fast food joint. Maybe they even just chill after hours in the building to just hang out. Idk personally think there's not enough fluff for them. (Side thing : what if janitor just had a they/them pin? I've seen more recently at least in my area service workers have rainbow or fandom pins and I think it'd fit them.) -🍭anon (sorry I haven't spoken in awhile, been very busy with life)

[I'll do you one better- FF Reader being the one to correct the customer. TW: Mention of misgendering]

"Um, excuse me, Sir? There's still no paper towels in the bathroom."

Why do they even bother? They've expressed their grievances to this customer multiple times - both in fact of them being busy with other work, and that the customer had mistaken them for something they weren't. They've tried to let it slide. They've tried to gently inform the customer of their preferred pronouns. No dice. Their head was pounding from the fumes of the chemical they worked with, and this was doing nothing to help it. Why did they come into work today.

"Listen, I'll get to it once I'm done mopping. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not a-"

Soft squeaks resonate from the freshly cleaning floor as heavy steps race across it. A hand nabs the bottle of cleanser out of the janitor's hands - aiming the nozzle directly in line with the customer's eyes as its finger clamps down on the trigger.

The customer screeches - throwing their hands over their face to shield themselves as their eyes sting and vision blurs.

"Begone." Steadying your aim, you blast the customer with another face full of the unholy solution filing the bottle in your hands. Had to be some powerful stuff to get out the stains you see on the daily. Despite their arms blocking majority of their face, you manage to get a spray of the mixture in their mouth. They retch - tears and saliva dripping down their face as they spit.

"Agh! What the hell is wrong with you!"

"The fuck's wrong with you? I've been watching you all morning. There's a line between a mistake and being an ignorant asshole, and you've crossed it buddy. Go on, get - shoo, get the fuck outta here."

"I hope you know you've just lost a paying customer!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Go ruin someone's else's day."

The Janitor watches as you chase the customer out of the establishment, hurling obscenities and hitting them with another jet of cleanser whenever they turn to look back. You toss the now empty bottle at the hood of their car as they crawl in and speed away. Their heart pumps so loudly they can barely hear your steps as you return to their side.

"Sorry about using all your cleanser. Wanna go pretend to look for more in storage room and sneak out the back?"

The Janitor deadpans. "I used to think I was in love you.... It's gone far beyond just a thought now."

"I know." You throw your arm around their shoulder - allowing them to dump their weight on you as they go weak in the knees from the contact. You half carry them out the back door, sneaking off to where their van was parked outside. You hold your hand out for their keys which they readily give you. You help them into the passenger seat before walking around to the driver's side and hopping in. The Janitor's hand reaches over the divider, stopping just short of your arm.

"You good?"

Their head falls to your shoulder - voice strained as they rub at where their eyes would be. "Yea....Yea, I'm good. Thanks by the way."

You place your hand over theirs, squeezing it gently. "Eh, you and I are the one's keeping the hellhole in shape.. You deserve more respect than you get sometimes... Ready to ditch this place for the night?"

"....Please?..."

[pan-withnoplan]

@lakewillowmerewraith let me tell you something about boundaries.

I run a confession blog for a different fandom. It's mostly a positive environment, but as with most fandoms, there are also ship wars, people who thirst for "negative" characters, and occasionally rotten takes. Since the first day, I knew I had to set boundaries, but I also knew that I couldn't let those boundaries be about me and my personal preferences and dislikes. It wouldn't be fair if I deleted positive confessions about my notp/criticising my ships/depicting nsfw headcanons/shipping a beloved character with a hated character.

Because that was a blog that I made, but I made it for everybody in my fandom to feel welcome, not just those who I believed shipped/held the "correct, pure, unproblematic" ships/opinion, and it isn't fair to police real people because of fictional characters. What confessions I could reject, were those who actively hated on real people. For example: “This female character whom some people see as a transfem allegory canonically had a brief relationship with a black woman, so people who ship her with this white male character who was mean to her and "deadnamed" her are all racist, homophobic, and abuse apologists”. And “All X shippers are racist/misogynist/homohobic/etc etc” and “people who say [perfectly harmless thing] are gross/cringe. touch grass” and “stop being so damn [ableist slur]”. Those are the things I need to protect and shield my followers from, not the thirst confessions about the villain who manipulated and betrayed the female character. I also have an extensive tag system that allows people to avoid things they don't want to see. I get inbox that I don't like every day and still, as long as they aren't harmful to real people, I publish them all because it's not about what I want from my blog, it's about enriching my fandom and giving a voice to everybody. I've fucked up occasionally, but I am proud to say that mostly I have been praised for keeping a welcoming, safe, and positive space.

This is what I mean when I say that @elainarcheronweek's mods that have pushed for the decision to have certain Elain ships banned are partial, biased, and unfit to run an event that's supposed to belong to all Elain fans, not just the mods, not just the ones who they believe ship her with the correct character. It's not Healthy Elain Week, it's just Elain Week. And it's despicable that they can just decide to reject fanworks on which real people spent time and energy and feelings, just because they don't like the pairing or they make them feel icky. Because it's just that, right? You said it yourself. Not "fans feel uncomfortable about tamlain and beronlain", it's "the mods have the right to lead their event how they want to". And I say no, it's not only their event, it's Elain's event, Elain's fans's event, and no, they don't have the right to lead that event how they want to if that means punishing fans and creators because of a personal dislike. As I said, they didn't like the "icky" ships and decided to make it everyone else's problem. They "eliminated" the threat of big bad "toxic" elain ships, but they've done nothing to silence the people who accuse tamlain and beronlain shippers of being abuse apologists even when those works contain Tamlin and/or Beron redemption. This is not letting darkfic have the right to exist, it's purity culture. Denying those works a place on the platform out of a personal preference is quite literally censorship.

"But fans really have been feeling uncomfortable with tamlain and beronlain! What about them?" So use the fucking tag system. Make a post where you explain there will be works thay might trigger people and tell them to block the tamlain and beronlain tags. Ask people to suggest other potential triggers so you can update the list. Include the list of potential triggering tags in the master post. It's that simple and it would have saved the whole fandom a lot of drama and disappointment. It's always so baffling for me to think that grown ass people refuse to curate their own browsing experience or ignore the things that they dislike.

[lemotmo]

They closed their ask box. I hate people 😭😭

I hope it's temporary

A. Hi anon. Before I respond, I want to take a minute to say that I think this will be my last answer for a bit. My ask box needs a break, lol. It's a little hostile in there right now. Some of the asks/messages are lovely, thank you for those and I will see how I feel after the holiday.

Now with regards to your question. You can absolutely headcanon. No one is saying you can't. I would never say that. That's part of fandom and it's fun. What I was saying to that particular anon was that there's a difference between headcanoning scenarios you would like to see for your favorite ship/character and outright stealing another characters actual canon history to give to a character you prefer. That history belongs to Eddie not Tommy. You're correct though that Tommy shares some characteristics with Eddie, pretty sure that's the point. So in theory, sure, they could have similar storylines but they don't. The reason they don't is because Tommy is a minor character, and as such he will never have a storyline written for him. That's the way plot points work. They're designed to push a main character's storyline forward. Eddie is a main. Buck is a main. Tommy is a plot point, at least as of this writing. Pointing that out is not mean. It's not bigoted. And it's definitely not homophobic. It sucks to love a character the show doesn't care about. Most of us have been there at some point. We have fallen for a C or D character and have headcanoned a reality for them far better than their show was ever going to give them. It happens. There's nothing wrong with it. But it still doesn't make him anything more than what the show is telling you he is. And again, as of this writing, he has been written as nothing more then the guy Buck is currently seeing. But lots of you don't even seem to care about Buck with regards to the ship. There are messages in my ask box from people telling me that they don't care if Buck and Tommy break up because they will just ship whoever they pair Tommy with next. They won't pair Tommy with anyone next. When his Buck storyline is done his services will no longer be required. And that is what all of your anger is really all about.

If season 8 has Buck telling Tommy he loves him then that will be canon, you're correct. It is also canon that Buck told Taylor he loved her. I don't think you will get much argument from people on that. But it didn't matter. They broke up. She's gone. That is also canon. It's Buck's canon history. And you can't erase it. Just like you can't erase Eddie's canon history. That was my entire point. I've said from the beginning Tommy not being Buck's endgame doesn't mean he's not important, in some capacity. He will always be Buck's first. And him just being that is okay. That's important. There is no need to make it more. Fandom is meant to be fun and this has become unnecessarily exhausting on every level. I have been very pro Tommy, for what I believe the shows purpose for him is. Refusing to pretend he's more doesn't make me homophobic. That argument is juvenile and stupid and is only being made because there's no actual argument to have. Unless the show makes him more, than what they have so far, you all are just shouting in circles. Love him. Ship him. It's okay, I promise it is, but you have no reason to be angry that others don't. You have no right to be angry at Oliver for not promoting it. You have no right to be angry at Ryan for playing the character most of the audience wants with Buck. The show promised you nothing. Oliver said nothing. Ryan didn't do a thing.

You admitted in your ask that you have been blocked by Oliver, Ryan and the official show account. Do you know what you have to send to an official show account for them to block you? You have to send something pretty disturbing. And one person having multiple accounts doesn't fix the block. It's very easy to identify multiple accounts being run by the same person/IP address. That's not hard and it doesn't require advanced computer knowledge so I promise you the moderators running the show account know how to do that. So you can create all the accounts you want, and you said you have multiple, but like you also said they're all blocked. Ten or so people pretending to be 50 or 60 different people is still a very tiny fandom and I have no idea what you think that's going to accomplish. Other than getting all 60 accounts blocked. We have no proof that Tim is the one who put a stop to the cameo videos, you can't make that statement, but if he did, he had every right to do so. They got entirely out of hand. Like I said in a previous answer Lou wasn't' talking to a wide audience, none of the view counts ever went past 2,000 people. The count may be higher now if people uploaded them to YouTube, but those extra hits mean nothing. That is a tiny, tiny fandom, and there is nothing wrong with being a tiny fandom. But it was clear the same 8 and 9 people were the ones purchasing the cameos and then they were turning around and spouting his PAID content as canon facts, and anybody who dared say otherwise was homophobic. That's not how any of this works. Lou was very careful to say, each and every time btw, "yeah I can see that", "sure I guess you can say that", "I played it as...". Zero part of any of those words should lead anyone to believe he was stating facts. Those same people though then turned around and openly bragged about demanding the show give us a Tommy begins episode. Openly sending Oliver hate because he didn't follow him back on Instagram or promote the ship. And most inexcusably disgusting of all bragged about telling Ryan they wished he had committed suicide. That is sick, immature and highly disturbing behavior. And for what? There was never a reason for any of it. So I hope it was Tim who ended it. Oliver and Ryan didn't do anything wrong. They have every right to want to tell the story they want to tell for their characters. You have every right to disagree with them. It's that simple. You have no right to the abhorrent behavior that followed. And Oliver, Ryan and the show have the right to block you over it, but you don't get blocked by them just for saying you ship Buck and Tommy and everyone knows that. I have no doubt that this is not the response you were looking for, and in spite of everything, ships are meant to be enjoyed by whoever enjoys them. So ship away. Enjoy it. But you cannot force them onto others. That is a simple truth and it shouldn't be that difficult to understand. 💗

I really hope it's temporary but I do understand it. Great response though.

Once again, thank you for sending this Nonny.

First of all, it's a sad state of affairs when someone is pushed to stop talking basic common sense and truth on their own personal fandom blog. All because others don't like their opinion and have decided to spout hatred. I'm so tired of this insane behaviour of attacking people for having an opinion on a character or a ship.

So much to unpack in this post. But I'm just going to pick out a few topics that I have something to say about. The rest of it has all been explained so well by the OP's answer.

The fact that some of these people got blocked by the cast and the official account is crazy. When I read about the fact that someone bragged about telling Ryan they wished he commited suicide??? Seriously? Are these people for real? All of this over a fictional ship on a fictional show? This isn't just one bridge too far. This is ten million bridges too far. It disgusts me on a basic human level and frankly? It should disgust everyone.

The fact that some of these stans are saying that, even if Buck would break up with Tommy, they would want Tommy to have someone else? It's once again rooted in this stubborn resistance to see what is truly happening on the show. Tommy isn't going to stick around. He is going to play his part and leave as plot devices tend to do. I don't understand what they are hoping to gain with this shortsightedness? It will only get them hurt and disappointed in the end.

The whole Buck will tell Tommy he loves him in season 8 is also, once again, based on a headcanon. This time a headcanon made by one BT shipper who claims to be in secret contact with Tim. He gives her secret season 8 spoilers. I mean... really? How is it that people fall for this kind of nonsense? If some Buddie shipper would make a post about having contact with the showrunner and him telling them that they said Buddie is going to kiss in episode 2 of season 8? I would laugh out loud and bring out the 'Sure Jan' GIF. I mean, people cannot be that gullible, can they?

I admit though, the one thing the BT fandom do have is that Tommy will always be Buck's first when it comes to his experiences with a man. And I also admit that, personally? I hate it. I wish they would have found someone else. Someone who had the acting chops to actually show some emotional depth in his scenes with Oliver. Someone who didn't have a shady past. Someone who was more understanding and less dissmissive. But I guess that was also part of the story the show was trying to tell us. It was showing us that Tommy isn't 'the one' for Buck. In every scene it became more and more apparent that this relationship isn't going anywhere. But I'm just bummed that Buck, once again, fell into a relationship that ultimately is going to cause him hurt. I'm so tired of that. His next relationship better be with Eddie, so he can finally be completely happy with someone (after a lot of drama no doubt) and settle down, which is something he obviously really wants. The same goes for Eddie by the way. I just want to see that man happy at this point. I want him to figure himself out and fall for Buck. No other boyfriends necessary. Just let them be happy together. Do you hear that 911? LET 👏 THEM 👏 BE 👏 HAPPY 👏 TOGETHER! Thank you!

So yeah, that's about all I wanted to add. Just some observations really. Their message doesn't really need explanation or addendums. It's perfect as it is.

This will be the last update from the anonymous OP for now. I get why OP wants a break though. Dealing with fandom used to be a fun experience. These days it's like taking a walk in a swamp. You never know what's going to happen when you're there. Things could be peaceful or you could be attacked by a giant alligator, without any warning. It's exhausting, that's what it is.

Anyway, OP? Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take a break, relax. I wish you sunshine and happiness during your break. I'll leave you with another anon message I received yesterday:

"I hope this gets back to that one anonymous blog we all love but I'm so sorry you're getting hate from those people for simply stating not only your opinion but the obvious truth that most of us have been able to see from the beginning. Your answers are always so eloquent and concise yet never malicious, it's truly a blessing to see a Tommy fan with actual common sense lol."

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[atzaurora]

Hello it's me again! I got an idea. For either Enhypen or Ateez. As a form of full angst or hurt/comfort where the reader is the youngest member in the group, but they are distant towards the members, due to how they/she is afraid of getting close to them and getting hurt. And how they get more hate than any other member. I love enhypen but if you can chose. Or ignore this idea/request have a nice day 🫶

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

아프다-𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

sᥴᥲrᥱძ 𝗍᥆ һᥙr𝗍

𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓: ot7 Enhypen

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: reader x ot7!enhypen

𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆: imagine (angst)

𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑: group members

.ᐟ.ᐟ𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔.ᐟ.ᐟ: none

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: read request at the top :)

𝒘/𝒄: 1.592

𝒂/𝒏: sorry it took me this long to write! I've been very busy lately and had to focus on other things than my tumblr unfortunately :/ anyways I decided to write this request with Enhypen since it was your preference so I hope you like how this turned out!

here's my 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It was late at night. All of the duties done for the day, leaving you 'alone' in the dorm. But you weren't actually alone. You had 7 other people around you. You loved them but you weren't sure how much. How much you could let them fully into your heart, into your life, into the person you were. And it wasn't even their fault. They had done nothing wrong. Ever. Yet you were scared. Not of them in particular but of the things they were capable of. Any person was capable of those things and they had been used on you before. So here you were, in a job you loved, with people you loved and still you were scared.

"Hey..." a head appeared in the doorframe of your room. "Do you want to play some games with us?" the voice echoed through the room. "I-... I gotta work on something, sorry. Maybe next time, Jay." You could see the smile fade from his face, just like every other time. He was probably not even expecting any other response from you by now. "That's alright. Feel free to join us if you change your mind." You weren't going to. He flashed you a small smile before closing the door again. You let out a sigh, laying your head down on the table, blocking out the room around you. You wanted to have fun with them, play video games with them, do all of the things they did together but some part of you just wouldn't let yourself.

You began actually working, even though it had just been a stupid excuse to not be close to them in any way. You wrote down plans, schedules, to-do lists, all kinds of stuff to distract yourself from the distance. You heard a knock again, this time it sounded different. Softer and more careful, it wasn't Jay again, you could tell. "Yes?" you answered, letting his presence fill the room, the scent picking in your nostrils, a different type of warmth filling the room, even though it wasn't cold in here. "Hi." Sunoo greeted you, his voice sounding gentle, as if he was being afraid he might break something of you, if he would sound a bit more harsh. "I came to check in on you. You weren't at dinner and I- I thought you might not be doing so well. You're barely hanging out with us." Your gaze softened, knowing he cared for you. They all did and you cared for them too. Sunoo wasn't much older, only almost 3 years separating the two of you, yet he was still behaving very motherly in a way. A good way, comforting and a safe feeling. "I know, I'm sorry, I just...have a lot of stuff to do." You lied. All you did was lie. No time here, too much on your plate there, never finding free time to spend with them. And they knew. They had to know by now, those were lies.

Sunoo stepped closer. Too close? You didn't know, didn't know what you could accept, what wouldn't cross the line for you, what wouldn't hurt you. Because that's what all of this was about. You did not want to get hurt. In any way. Both mentally and physically, it had happened too often, too much, to be right, too much to be accepted once again. He closed the door behind him, walking over to sit on the edge of your bed. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about anything?" He smiled at you. It hurt to see him be this nice, while you couldn't even go play stupid video games with them, even though they had invited you. "Yeah, no, I'm- I'm fine." Another lie. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me if anything is bothering you. I'll listen." He looked at you, a little concerned, empathic maybe? You couldn't really tell. "Well...I mean there has been this thing with the fans lately and-" Oh great. You slipped. Spilled, too much already eventually? His face tightened. "What 'thing'?" He questioned. "Nevermind...forget it, it's not that deep anyways." You shrugged it off.

"No, no, please, Y/N, tell me. What's wrong? Did they do something to you?" You saw Sunoo shift on the bed, was he getting angry? Please don't let him be angry. "Well I've been getting a lot of...uh...'hate' might be too strong. Bad- bad comments? Yeah, bad comments about my behaviour." You started to fidget with the pen in your hands awkwardly. "Hate. Y/N, use the word as it is. What did they say?" Sunoo looked a little more worried now. "Is it bad?" "I mean no, not really, I'm overreacting, it's nothing. They just think I'm a lot more distant than the others. 'She doesn't fit in with them' they said. 'Black sheep of Enhypen'." You tried laughing it off a little. It did sound a bit ridiculous coming from your voice now. "No. It's not okay of them to say something like that. They're wrong. I mean, you are a little...distant but still they shouldn't comment on that." Sunoo complained. "See, even you think I'm distant. They're right and you know it." You felt a little hurt. Something you never wanted to feel. Not ever again. "That's not what I'm saying... it's just- Why, Y/N? Why?" You frowned at him "Why what?" "Why won't you be around us? What is it that you are so scared of?" He looked into your eyes, almost as if he was trying to read it off of them. Trying to figure out your thoughts by looking into them. You stuttered. You yourself weren't even exactly sure what your 'problem' was. You knew what you were feeling but you didn't know how to phrase it to make sense. "I'm scared, Sunoo. I'm the youngest in the group, almost a year younger than Ni-ki already. almost 3 years younger than you, it's difficult. I don't know if I fit in that much and then the fans...all eyes are on me. I'm just scared. I don't want to get hurt. By you, by them, by anyone." Never. Not again. You promised yourself you wouldn't let it get to you. But now that you were keeping a distance from them hurt you even more.

You could feel Sunoo's eyes widen, becoming more softer. Without a word he stood up from the bed, slowly approaching you. And then he hugged you. Without saying anything, he just stood there in front of you, arms wrapped around your back, holding your body close. "Y/N, I'm sorry. We should've known sooner." You could feel his grip tighten on you, not wanting to let go just yet. "We won't hurt you, we have no intentions of doing so, I promise. But I understand that you feel that way." He let go of you, looking at your face once again. "If it's okay, I'll talk to the others. I can explain it to them, you won't have to do it yourself." You nod your head "Yes, that would be good. Thank you. I'm sorry I haven't told you how I felt sooner." You give him a soft smile. "Don't apologise, you did it now and that's alright."

*35 minutes later*

You heard footsteps in front of your door, whispering voices before someone shushed them. You were lying on your bed, reading, when you heard a knock yet again. "Can we come in, Y/N?" A deep yet gentle voice asked. You could already tell it was Ni-ki but based on the many footsteps and the 'we' in his sentence, it was clear that whole Enhypen was outside your door right now. "Sure." You reply, sitting up straight in bed, your attention now on the opening door.

You were right, all 7 of them came stumbling in to your room. "Hey..." Jake was the first to speak up. He looked a little unsure of what to do. "We- I- Are you- are you alright?" He stumbled over his words. You knew he was trying to help in a way but didn't quite know where to start. "Yes...well sort of, but a lot better after talking to Sunoo." I nodded gratefully in his direction, small smiles painting onto their faces. "Yeah, he told us about...you know... everything you talked about." Heeseung says, an understanding look on his face. "We're sorry, we had no idea why you never did anything with us. But we understand and hope that maybe from now on you'll feel more comfortable." Jungwon's words were pure, you knew that he really meant what he said. "Yes, definitely, I really like you all. I just never...I don't even know, I was just so afraid." You lower your face a little, at this point you didn't even know why you felt like this. "It's alright, don't- don't explain, don't apologise. Please." Ni-ki says. You nod "Alright, I won't." You chuckle a little. "Good." Ni-ki and the others also have to laugh a little. It's nice like this. The mood soon shifts into a more relaxed mood. "Oh, and by the way, Y/N", Sunghoon turns towards you, "We'll have a little word with the company, telling them to release a statement, about the fan behaviour towards you." You smile at him. "Thank you. That would be really great."

And after a long time, you do join them in the living room. You do play video games with them. You do chat with them and you do laugh together. What were you so scared of?

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[threepandas]

Sun Burnt: Part 2

Sixteen grand, only half my go bags, and about three blocks of Mafia Land on fire.

That was my fucking legacy now. I was the crazy fuck that DICK PUNCHED the Dread God of hitmen everywhere. The nightmare that lesser men fear. The blood soaked luxury few can afford! Oh god. I just punch the greatest hitman on THE PLANET in the DICK.

IN PUBLIC.

CURSE YOU LIGHTNING BRAIN!

I can't believe I fucking FORGOT that panic and impossibly fast reaction times were a BAD IDEA. God DAMN it! No wonder everyone thinks Lightnings are morons! That was the DUMBEST SHIT I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE! Oh god. Oh god! I'm gonna die so slow. He's gonna drag it out! What do I DO!?

He didn't even collapse! Just hissed in through his teeth and TANKED it!

Thank god for Tazer training.

But also like!? Ha ha!!! OH GOD IM SO DEAD. I just pissed off EVERYBODY, didn't I? I can never come back! I had to have hit like... fifteen DIFFERENT SETS back there! And Colonello will be out for my BLOOD. Fuck, I wanna LIVE!

Boats. I gotta steal one of the boats!

And thank god? I DO. The island is in chaos, thanks to the fires. I dump the boats number of trackers overboard. Sure, I have to take a knife to a few fancy ass walls. But it's WORTH it.

I got a fancy ass little yacht! Perfect. It's fast, it's liveable, I can DISAPPEAR out to sea. He'll NEVER fi-!

Click.

Cool metal smoothly, cruely, presses againt the back of my head to crush my hope, just as it begins to form. The cologne is unmistakable. I can not tell you, how in God's name I missed it. The barrel of a gun pressed close, like a lover's hand, in unspoken threat.

"Bella~" purrs an amused voice from behind me. It sound like a threat. "Quite the trouble maker, aren't you? Such... CHAOS~♡ But, really? Did you HONESTLY think you could run? We're not done yet."

.....m...maybe I could swim.

I break out into a cold sweat, too aware yet completely frozen. The stairs to the deck are too far away. Fuck. I... I could MAYBE make it? Or.. or punch out a wall? Right into the water? I try to keep my breathing even. It doesn't work. I know, because Death made a man? Who stands behind me? Hums in amusement. His gun pressing tighter against my skin.

"I wouldn't, bella fulminea. I am nothing if not a gentleman, but if you keep fighting me? Well... it is a long boat ride. I'll have to find SOME way to immobilize you long enough for us to have a little chat. And an excuse to have my Flames inside you? You'd be surprised the damage one can do without lasting effects, when they know HOW too."

"And make no mistake. I DO know how to hurt you."

"So let's behave ourselves, hmm? Have a seat."

I... I had a seat. Very comfy. Didn't feel like crying in the SLIGHTEST ha ha, WHAAAT? Don't be silly! This is FINE! We're all friends here! R..Right?

The slow grin I got was NOT reassuring.

He stood there, above me, gun casually pointed at my head, as he examined me. Taking his time. As though decadently savoring the moment. Enjoying my tensed muscles. The way my Flames crackled and arced across my skin. My eyes dilated in fear. The resonance that filled the cabin.

His eyes weren't dark anymore. And that... God, that was the worst part. They had lit up. I'd HEARD about the phenomenon, but never thought I ever actually SEE it. 'Cause who could actually be that batshit powerful? What realistic person would ever be so fucking STRONG?

It was like looking into molten gold. Liquid Sun Flames. I could almost SEE the flicker and burn. I could DEFINITELY feel the Flames filling the room. It was like being crammed in a box with a tiger that barely fit to begin with. Shoved RIGHT up against its face. All I could do was hope it was friendly. Preferably ignored me.

But he wasn't.

No, he wanted to TALK.

Had finally, thankfully, put the gun away. Stepped closer to grab my face and tilt it up. Angle it this way and that. Memorizing my features. Shit. My thoughts must have been obvious on my face, because his smirk widened. His grip got tighter.

"Do you know, little lightning, how long I've waited? How many DECADES I've made do? I don't care if you're not a Sky. You could be another sun as far as I'm concerned. It is the fact that your Flames SING to mine. Crave a place with mine. THAT is why you will never escape me."

I didn't even know if I WANTED a Set. Yeah, it sounded cool. The companionship, the understanding and stuff. Like... like soulmates. Literal platonic but could be not if you wanted Soulmates. Yours forever. Best friends and balm to all wounds. But? But! If THIS was what was in store for me?!

Ha ha, NOPE!

I may not have be interested in being some meat shield for some entitled, cloying, grabby-flamed Sky BRAT, but that didn't mean I wanted a living DREAD GOD! R... RIGHT?! I just wanted, you know, substance! Mutual understanding and a mature outlook on life. Competence. Maybe some one... who thinks... I'm...funny...

Ooooooh no.

Oh no no NO!

"REBORN! Did you KIDNAP a random thief?!"

Thuds up on the deck. A roaring voice sounding vaguely hysterical. A god like Cloud kicking the door to the lower levels clear off it's hinges. Vongola. Oh thank MERCIFUL FUCK. I risk a glance across the table. His face has frozen in it's pleasantly smiling mask. Pissed at being interrupted. Again.

His eyes say "don't you do it. Don't even DARE.

My eyes shoot from him to the Cloud slowly walking down the steps. Followed by the rest of the Tenth generation of the Vongola Familgia. The clear exit they've left open behind them. Back to him. His gaze now promising to break both my legs.

.....he'll have to fucking catch me first.

I BOLT.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

When Steve awakened the beast inside of Eddie, he felt it all over. He couldn't help but do the things he's done with women in this past and to the cheerleaders who passed him by. Yeah, okay, he has a thing for cheerleaders. They're passionate. He can respect that. Hmm, maybe that's why he hated jocks so much. . .he had been denying a part of himself that he didn't want to admit. Before Jason hunted him down like he was in season, Eddie could admit freely that there had been a little bit of an attraction there but that was before. It was long gone now, though.

In its place was Steve Harrington, who was not only insanely handsome but was also brave, kind, and just. He was a freaking prince with a side of bitchyness, and Eddie could just drown in him. He really couldn't help it when he started doing those things with Steve. He started bowing as he passed, smiling fondly after him with his hands behind his back, and he even opened doors for him. Of course, Steve thought it was because of his King Steve days.

"You know, I'm no longer like that, Eddie, so why are you still treating me like I am?" Steve snapped.

They were in the drama room preparing to set up for DnD, and Steve had volunteered to help. In reality, he just wanted to see Eddie. Meanwhile, Jeff had arrived early before anyone else to find Eddie bowing at Steve and opening the door for him.

"Relax, Steve," Jeff said as he stepped into the room completely. "He only does that shit to women he's attracted to."

Eddie's face said it all in that moment. Jeff looked at him with wide eyes.

"I was going to tell you," Eddie said quickly.

"You're -," Jeff said, and his eyes flickered to Steve’s.

"What?" Steve asked.

"Bisexual," Eddie said.

"Oh. Oh!" Steve exclaimed in realization. "So, all the stuff you've been doing is because - "

"I'm attracted to you. I like you, Steve," Eddie said softly.

"So, all of the things. . . The bowing, the opening doors, the giving me rocks. . .they were all because you like me?" Steve asked.

"I've also been the one leaving flowers on your car. I've been courting you," Eddie said, his hands behind his back as he stepped closer to him.

"I've never been courted before," Steve said bashfully as he bit his lip, and Steve stepped closer to Eddie. "You can keep doing it if you want."

"Even if it makes you feel like a king?" Eddie asked.

"Well, I think I prefer the term fallen king, and you're kind of like a king yourself. . . You're a very handsome one, too. We are both two kings coming together to make one glorious kingdom," Steve said.

"Fuck," Eddie muttered.

"Okay, I think you guys forgot that I'm still here," Jeff said and watched as their lips crashed together. "Yeah, I'm going to go now before you guys start making out against me."

Jeff left and slammed the door behind him. He smiled, happy for his friend. Of course, that's when everyone else decided to show up. It suddenly sounded like someone was being pushed up against the door, and Jeff quickly blocked it before it could open.

"Are Eddie and Steve in there?" Dustin said and frowned. "What are those sounds? Oh, my God! . . . Are they fighting? I thought they were friends!"

"Uh, yeah, they're fighting, but they're working it out. In the meantime, Hellfire is canceled tonight," Jeff said.

"But - " Dustin began to protest.

"Canceled!" Jeff yelled. "Now, go!"

Everyone gave him weird looks but started to shuffle away. Just then, Steve let out a breathy moan that couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

"What the hell was that?" Dustin asked.

"Uh . . . I think Eddie just pulled Steve’s hair," Jeff replied quickly.

"Oh. Yeah, Steve hates that. Eddie!" Dustin called out. "You're not fighting very fair!"

It worked on some of them, but not on Gareth and Frank. Lucas and Will also looked a little suspicious.

"Would you fucking go already?!" Jeff snapped.

Jeff finally breathed a sigh of relief when they all left and he could push himself off of the door. He told them to lock the door and finally made the escape for himself. He hoped he never got caught in that situation again.

[commsroom]

hi! I want to make a patch for my jacket with the names of all the crew members of the first hephaestus station, and I kinda want to sort of mimic their handwriting, so do you have any headcanons for what their handwriting is like? (not only them but any of the other characters if you want— I love character's handwriting headcanons haha)

oh, that's a fun project!! i'd love to see it when you're done. and an interesting question; i cannot say i've ever thought about lovelace's crew's handwriting before, haha. you probably know more about handwriting styles than i do, but here are my ideas:

lovelace: generally legible, but not concerned about aesthetics. maybe a little slanted. mix of printing + cursive with no particular logic, just depends on her mood. has a semi-consistent signature, maybe with a bit of a flourish on the L that she thinks is fun.

lambert: even printing with frightening consistency; might as well be typed out. the only real variance in his writing is that you can tell how frustrated he is by the intensity of the lettering; he starts really gripping the pen when he gets mad. signs his initials and then writes his full name out underneath it.

selberg / hilbert: unreadable. barely even words. his written notes are indecipherable to anyone who isn't him, but he doesn't think anyone else should be reading them anyway. has one of those quick scrawl Doctor Signatures that doesn't look like his name at all. ... any of his names.

rhea: i hate to just assign her Digital Typeface, but all we really know about her is that she's professional and takes her job seriously. she gives me the sense that she'd prefer to type than write by hand, even if it was a viable option, but her handwriting would be very neat.

fisher: doesn't write much if he can help it, mostly fills out forms in big block all caps with whatever abbreviations he can get away with. definitely readable, but not exactly neat or even.

fourier: ... well. her diaries are proof she spent a lot of time writing by hand, and i would guess that's a lifelong thing for her. maybe it's just her appreciation for jane austen and similar writers, but she strikes me as the kind of person who would've gotten very, very into writing cursive. there's kind of a romantic, old-fashioned flair to even her casual note taking. definitely practiced a signature.

hui: complete opposite. he was supposed to practice, but was much more interested in other things, and his handwriting is notoriously kind of a mess. thinks much faster than he writes, and so will skip over words sometimes, etc. he also practiced a signature, but he wanted it to be abstract. hui and fourier definitely teased each other over their respective note-taking styles, especially given how often they were reading each other's notes.

i like to think maybe hui dictated his letters to his family to fourier, and she was the one who actually wrote them down - as a way to keep her close, and to give her some way that she could help him, near the end.

this is already long, but, briefly: the other three characters i have to talk about...

minkowski: incredibly neat handwriting, as a result of lots and lots of practice "standardizing" her penmanship as a child. keeps white-out on hand just in case. signs her full name in cursive.

hera: fairly neat, if sometimes shaky, and it bothers her if it looks too uniform; intentionally incorporates writing quirks that catch her eye; also a mix of printing + cursive in whatever way she thinks flows best.

eiffel: usually not unreadable, but definitely not neat. if he makes a mistake, he'll write over it to fix it and make it worse to the point it's illegible and then just leave it like that. has difficulty with writing in straight lines or even-sized lettering; it's all over the place. you know he's a doodler.

we do, in fact, have writing samples for him, courtesy of the dssppm:

... and he crosses his z's. i think that's cute.

[gallaghersgal]

hello everyone! tysm for 1,500 followers, this means so much to me as someone who took almost a YEAR off of writing. the support i get and the friends i've made here mean so much to me! so LET'S CELEBTATE 🎉🎉

celebration masterlist here. looking for my main masterlist? it’s linked up top under "writer" <3

p.s. special shoutouts to my beloved moots at the bottom <3

❀ GENERAL RULES & INFO ❀

you can send in as many requests as you’d like!

if you don’t want spam, block/filter #maggie's 1.5k

it’s not required to be be following @gallaghersgal but it would be appreciated. if this is your first time interacting with my blog, come check me out!

also not required but if you like my content, go check out @carmenberzattosgf @thecapricunt1616 @mouseymilkovich @carmybrainworms and @notsonian they're great writers and even better friends! <33

this blog is NSFW, 18+ only, and so is this celebration! minors will be notified of this, then blocked if they don't unfollow. i'm not mean, i'm just not comfy with you reading my works underage.

anon is on, by sending an anon ask you are telling me you are 18+

my inbox is open now, so feel free to go send in asks!! celebration requests close Friday, August 23rd at midnight!

❀ REQUESTS ❀

send me in a character + prompt for a blurb! i am accepting prompts from this au list, this trope list, this smut list, or this other smut list.

please include the number or prompt, and the list it's from since there's more than one!

for this celebration i will write for any character from shameless, the bear, marvel cinematic universe, daredevil, all star wars trilogies, the mandalorian, and the clone wars. i will also write any of oscar isaac, pedro pascal, or barry keoghan's characters, or any formula one driver.

i will also write sydcarmy 😚🧚🏻‍♀️

i will do my best to write ANY character from the fandoms listed above, i know i have a wide range of followers! however, i am more likely to lean towards requests for the characters listed here.

please limit your request to one to two prompts, or one au/trope + one prompt. i will have a lot to write, so this will help me get your req done quicker!

requests missing a prompt or character will be deleted. general requests not w/o a celebration prompt will be saved for afterwards.

❀ GAMES ❀

send a 💒 + a self description for me to ship you with someone from any of the media listed here. please include the fandom/media you want a ship from, as well as preference for male/female character or of you have no preference.

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that's all! enjoy the celebration!! sappy shoutouts to my fav pookies below <33

@tinyphantomsalad THE first mutual i made on here that i'm still talking to. the man i run my filthiest porn by, and he doesn't bat an eye. the love and respect for you i have is insane. what are we at now? four years? feels like four hundred. i love u endlessly.

@thelazyhero-ttums the one that's in my corner 24/7. only irl i have on this god forsaken site, bc you're just so so special. how do you think 7th grade maggie with her hand written leo and calypso fanfic feels about 1.5k? thank you for being with me for all of it.

@devils-dares thank you for sticking by my side even with my change in eras!! and for vibe checking so many fics you know nothing about <33 ur a real one pooks

@carmenberzattosgf im thankful all the time that u messaged me first bc how else would i have someone to get up to dm shenanigans and share my ideas with?

@thecapricunt1616 my sweetest capri, i'm so happy we're friends, i love reading your messages and i LOOVEEE your moodboards my queen

@mouseymilkovich ur a real one cause who else is gonna send me 1926284 ethan cutkosky edits? i love hearing all your plot bunnies for speechless, i can't wait to see where you take the series!

@carmybrainworms i hope you're enjoying your time in the ocean, and i'm so glad i brought u over to the dark side with my lip fics. ur the sweetest silliest ever and ilysm

@l4long-winded & @emotionoitme we haven't talked much yet, but i'm so excited to share more ideas with each other! you're both amazing writers who i'm so glad to call my friends

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[bandgie]

Ateez MTL Pussy Eating

first thing: okay so obviously! this is an 18+ ONLY blog and content. I've had to block a minor already and imma admit im not rocking with it. I understand cuz god knows what I was doing when I had wattpad as a literal child. but now as an adult, its weird. anywho...

So! these are my personal beliefs about the Ateez members and whether or not they enjoy eating pussy. this is not to represent them in anyway, just me being a disgusting creature

cw: pussy eating, pussy slapping, biting, thigh grabbing, fondling, tit grabbing, oral ranging from sweet to rough, face riding, anything you think of when eating/getting head

lets go!

✮ So first we have Seongwha on the list. sorry but my man loves to ravage your pussy. I think this is common knowledge honestly, I mean, bro said he 'can't control his tongue' yk. I personally think he does it to pass time, cuz he misses the taste, cuz he simply just wants to, the reasons are endless. He'll start off innocent, maybe ya'll are watching a movie and he just leans his head into your shoulder. You lean you head on top his head, its cute, right? wrong! he gets access to your neck and he knows you loovveee little neck kisses. He'll start there, all cute and adorable until he bites down. (my man gets those aggression cuteness too). then you really have no choice but to let your lover slide off the couch to spread your thighs. your ass would be at the edge of the couch, underwear merely pulled to the side cuz he just couldn't spare any second before his tongue was on you. no worries though, he's still really caring even when he's biting on your inner thighs so hard you think it'll leave a mark for days. Super vocal in moans! says little words here and there but he usually just mumbles them. His hands are exploring you too, rubbing on your sensitive spots to really get you wet. my man lovvvesss dripping with you when he's done, you have to literally force his head away because of how overstimulated you are

✮ Mingi is so close to being first, but he just doesn't do it as often as Seongwha (which might be a good thing). Still, he really enjoys stuffing his face with your cunt, nose deep and everything. When you're working on an assignment and you just so stressed? man, he's doing it out the kindness of his heart honestly. Your frustrated sighs quickly turning into pleasure when his tongue flicks over you. Mingi prefers to keep his hands on your thighs to keep your legs open. you tend to have a habit of suffocating him, and although he loves being squished by your plush thighs, he needs to stay conscious to taste your cum. bro does tend to overstimulate you too, but he doesn't push your limits too much. totally makes out with you when you finish on his tongue btw.

✮ Wooyoung loves when you use his face. Imagine being on the bed, you hovering over him with his eager eyes on your pussy. You were nervous at first, to hurt him. He had to tell you time and time again that it would be fine, and that it would actually be an honor to die from your cunt. He keeps his hands on your ass, carefully rocking you back and forth on his tongue. You told him to keep his eyes closed, embarrassed by the angle but he refused. He just loves seeing you get lost in the pleasure. The way your hands play with your tits, your nipples. How your mouth falls open in pretty little moans. God, you really are a gift from God himself. I feel like Wooyoung is vocal, both in moans and words. Telling you how good you are (he is a praiser for sure) and that you can be more aggressive with him. he even begs for you to squirt on his face and to keep letting him make you cum even if your legs are shaking. he's a big boy he can take it. however, unlike the last two, wooyoung does like getting something back in return. He won't force you, he rarely even asks you, but you can tell with how bad he's whimpering that his poor cock is aching to be touched. You don't though, because that's when you can do the 69 position.

✮ Yunho is next, and for some reason I feel like a lot of people won't agree with me, but here me out! cuz I feel like he's the type to eat you out because he feels bad. okay maybe not feel bad, but because you're doing so good for him he should do good for you. He's a big guy ya know? so I think he really like using that to his advantage when eating you out. I'll try my best to describe the position...so you're on your back okay? knees up and open while he's kneeling besides your head, cock out. His long fingers play with your folds while you suck him off. He does make you cum with his tongue or fingers, he's just a little better with his cock. I feel like he def has to potential to be a god at pussy eating, he gives me such pleasure dom vibes. I think he just needs a little more practice, any volunteers?

✮ Hongjoong is next and I think he's similar to Yunho, just not as kinky. I think he keeps things pretty vanilla, not too handsy nor messy. He likes it when you're flat on your back, gives him a good view of your tits and face. He def talks you through it, he's just loves knowing how good he's making you feel. He also will have you sit on his face, but I don't think it lasts very long. I don't think he likes being suffocated very much, he likes to have full control of your legs, ass, pussy, you. It's not like you have to give him something in return every time, but does love saying shit like "making my dick so hard baby, gotta cum in that pretty little mouth later.'" Makes you cum quick honestly, its embarrassing. He doesn't continue though once you've finished, unless you ask him.

✮ I know a bunch of people are gonna be mad at me for putting San towards the bottom...I am not sorry. I dunno man I think he gets nervous. he's shy, and he likes to dance around things. The members say he's completely different off camera, and I think it's similar in the bedroom. He does love pleasuring you, but much rather would do it with his cock. He'll never say no though if you ask, and you do ask a lot. He's so good at it, you don't even know if he knows how talented he is. San does get pussy drunk, bro is literally lost in the sauce. It's like his persona on stage right before you between your legs. He's like wooyoung where he both moans and talks through your orgasm. Just doesn't prefer to do it, he's got a beautiful cock why would you want anything else?

✮ Jongho totally does love eating your pussy, just doesn't do it often. It's more like a foreplay thing, and he rarely does it outside of it. Like san though, he gets pussy drunk. You just sound so good to him, your cunt so soft on his tongue. He also loves looking at your sex, just kind of admiring it. He's just so amazed that your little pussy can handle so much. Jongho's cock isn't for the faint of heart (that's for another time) so just to see how tight you already are with just his tongue inside is breathtaking. I think he does like making you squirm with pleasure, too much pleasure. Holds you down by the waist to keep you still and he drools on your pussy. I think he's into overstimulating you, it's just something he has to awaken first. Be patient with him, my man has potential.

✮ I really feel weird putting Yeosang at the bottom, but he just doesn't give me any sexual prowess imma be totally honest. I mean he totally looks good on stage, in normal clothes, in anything period. He just is so fairy and babygirl I can't see him doing anything deemed 'dirty.' I do think, however, that he prefers to receive head than the give it. Bro just thinks you looks really pretty stuffed, and he loves pretty things. I mean he will eat you out, it's just a rare occurrence. He's super gentle, sweet, caring. He leaves kisses all over you, making sure you're totally comfortable for him. I allssooo think he gets a little pussy drunk, but he's pretty quick to snap out of it. I think he almost scares him how addicting your taste can be, he doesn't really think it's normal. Yeosang can be a little air headed at times (still love him though) so you literally have to explain to him that that's actually a good thing. It's still a learning process with him, he just has to learn on his own about his own feelings.

[typical-simplelove]

Hidden Words (R. Spiers)

Summary: Ron comes home from the war, wanting quiet and solitude, but when a friend from his childhood saves him when he needs it, a new friendship is formed. What happens when the lines are blurred and demands are made? Can Ron recognize he can have peace and quiet amidst the noise?

Author's Note: This is my Secret Santa fic for @latibvles. Thank you for bearing with me, and I'm sorry this took a moment. Between the end of the semester and the jump right into the family and holiday stuff, I've barely had time to breathe. Nonetheless, here it is, and I hope you like it!

Warnings: implied!female reader; mentions of the war (canon typical); mentions of having/wanting children in the future;

Word Count: 6.9k

Ever since he returned home, his mother continuously tried to step him up on a date. She didn’t understand that he didn’t want that; no part of him was ready to date. For starters, how could he explain the things he’d seen—done—in the war to anyone, especially someone he should be spending the rest of his life with? 

Besides, he doesn’t think it’s worth it to spend all this time working on opening himself up and getting to know someone only for the relationship not to work out. There’s no point in trying to make something work when he knows it won’t.

But his mother wants grandkids, so he can’t say that to her. 

Since he came home from the war, it’s as if the entire world is dead-set on producing the next generation. While Ron sees no flaws in that, he doesn’t want to partake. It’s not that he doesn’t want kids; it’s the process of finding someone to have children with. The time and effort weren’t worth it to him if it could fall apart—either by war or personal faults. 

But his mother wants this for him, and he can never say no to his mother. 

Presently, Ron and his family are on their way to a block party, hosted by a couple of families down the road. He remembers the names—some of the people he grew up with. 

As they get closer, he starts to feel the anxiety building up. Everywhere he goes where people remember him from his childhood, they immediately begin to thank him for his service and want him to tell his stories. While he knows they have good intentions, he’s not always in the mood to talk about his experiences overseas, and sometimes, he would prefer to pretend they never happened. 

As expected, once they arrive at the small corner of the neighborhood where the party is being hosted, he’s surrounded by people who want to hear his stories and tales. There are so many voices, making different requests, that he isn’t able to pipe in and ask to have this conversation another time. 

He looks around for his mother, but she’s nowhere to be found. First, she drags him to this gathering; then, she leaves him alone. He shakes his head, frustrated. 

“Excuse me,” a voice pipes in from being Ron. “I need to borrow him for a moment.” 

Their hand intertwines with Ron and begins to pull him towards one of the houses. The moment is so hurried that he doesn’t have a chance to look at the person who’s dragging him away—his savior. 

He’s so shocked and confused that he doesn’t register to which house they’re heading towards. He doesn’t register the familiar steps of stairs or the familiar room he’s in or the recognizable bed he’s sat on. 

“Hi,” Ron says when he finally recognizes that you’re his savior, and you brought him up to your childhood room. “Long time no see.”

You snort. “Yeah, well, there was this war in Europe; did you know about that?” 

“Vaguely,” he replies, a small smile begging to be released. He can’t remember the last time he smiled. “Thanks for saving me.” 

You nod. “You look horrified, and as much as that amuses me, I figured today wasn’t the day to be bombarded.” 

Living just down the street from each other, your family and his family often interacted. For a while, your lives orbited around each other. There was nowhere you went where Ron didn’t follow closely behind. He was your shadow, just being happy to be around you, soaking in your aura and liveliness. 

He would spend hours of his days with you, and if he wasn’t with you, he was thinking about you or talking about you to anyone who would listen. 

By the time you both reached high school, your friendship wasn’t socially acceptable anymore, so you and Ron drifted. Anyone who knew Ron before high school would say that a part of him died or drifted away when you both stopped being friends. A chunk of his soul, personality, and heart was chiseled out, waiting to be put back when you returned. 

By the time Ron went off to war, you were pretty much strangers to each other. But, even if he didn’t know it, there were still parts of him that longed for you. 

Sitting on your childhood bed, looking at you as you organize all the guests’ belongings that were scattered around your room, small parts of the missing pieces of himself started to be pieced back together. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him, a curious and amused look in your eyes.

He nods. 

Deep down, he knew he wasn’t letting the friendship go again. 

. . .

“I didn’t have the chance to make anything, so I just went to the store,” Ron apologizes as he begins to take out food containers and lays them out on the picnic blanket. 

“You were going to cook? Wait, actually, you know how to cook?” 

He gives you a faint eye roll. “Yes, I’m not entirely helpless, by the way. But also, my mom has been trying to domesticate me in the event I decide to settle down. That’s been her post-war plan for me.” 

You nod, ignoring the small pitter-patter of your heart. What would it be like to live with a domesticated Ron?

Whoa, you’re not sure where those thoughts stem from, but as he opens up the containers and begins to make you a plate of your favorites, you couldn’t help but wonder. He took the initiative in planning this. He was never late, and if he was going to be late, he made sure to communicate it. He was always conscientious about your feelings and what you wanted to do. He was just—

Were your standards that low, or was Ron just genuinely that great? 

“What was it like?”

“What was what like?” Ron inquires in between bites. 

“The war, being overseas.” 

In a matter of seconds, Ron’s entire body tenses up, and you see the muscles in his neck tighten. “I would rather not talk about that.” 

You nod. “What about the people you served with?”

“Don’t,” Ron replies, sharp and pointed. 

“I shouldn’t have asked, sorry.” You wanted to know, but you understood why he wouldn’t want to share this information with you. It wasn’t an easy experience or an easy topic to discuss. But did that give him the right to be that rude and abrasive with you?

“I shouldn’t have responded the way I did, though, and I apologize for that.” 

“It’s okay,” you reply. 

A few minutes of awkward and heavy silence follows. The only sounds are the other families laughing and talking as they take in the nice weather. Now, you feel incredibly bad for bringing it up, but a part of you feels almost rejected. He doesn’t feel comfortable enough around you to open up. 

The only way you know to end this weirdness is to talk about stories from the people around you, so you dive into the stories of people in the neighborhood and work, throwing in little quips and jokes. It takes a minute for Ron’s icy exterior to melt, but soon, he’s laughing along with your jokes and making small comments here and there. 

Despite the way he’s interacting in the conversation, you can’t help but feel that he’s holding back from you, still. It’s almost as if he doesn’t feel at ease with you right now. 

But then he flashes you one of his brightest and rarest smiles and the way his eyes sparkle as he looks at you and the sunlight shrouding him in a glow sets your entire body on fire. He was always known for being guarded, so you shouldn’t be surprised he’s holding back from the difficult conversations with you. But he doesn’t smile like that for anyone, right? So that has to mean something. 

He means something to you. 

Yeah, you’re screwed. 

. . .

All he said was to come to dinner. You didn’t know what to expect, but all he said was to come to dinner, and no, you shouldn’t bring anything, despite your insistence. Just yourself, he said. 

Just yourself. 

Those words echoed in your mind for the days and the hours that passed between him asking you to come and you arriving at his doorstep. 

Just yourself.

Just yourself. 

Just yourself. 

You’re not someone who often reads into things, especially when it comes to things with romantic feelings involved. For the sake of self-preservation, you didn’t let yourself read into things, but with Ron, you couldn’t help yourself. With every interaction you have with him, you so badly want it to be more. 

Does Ron asking you to go to his mom’s house for family dinner mean something, or are you supposed to go only as friends? 

The spiraling and spinning thoughts don’t stop as Ron welcomes you into the house, takes your jacket, and you shrug off your shoes. Did his fingers linger on your shoulders for a brief moment? Did he hug you a little longer than necessary, than normal? Did he give you a small smile, his eyes twinkling with a purpose? Did he treat everyone else this way, or were you special? 

You so badly wanted to be special. 

As the night went on and you were reintroduced to Ron’s family that you remember from when you were growing up, you pretended not to recognize the curious and interesting looks they gave you and Ron. You ignored the way their eyes drifted to where his hand was guiding you on your back or the way his hands rested on your shoulders when he was introducing you to someone. You ignored their pointed looks as he whispered in your ears every now and then or the looks he gave you. 

No one wanted to say it or ask it, fearing the glare Ron would send them. 

As much as you wanted them to ask or say something, you didn’t want to know what he would say. You didn’t want your worst fears to be confirmed. 

“No,” Ron says, interrupting your thoughts as you make your way to the dinner table, finding a seat on one end of the table, not near where Ron was sitting. He rests his hands on your waist and guides you toward the other end of the table where he’s sitting next to his mom. 

“I can sit there.” 

“No.” 

“Ron—” 

“Don’t make me carry you over there. I want to sit next to you.” 

“Okay,” you reply softly, ignoring the pitter-patter of your heart with the meaning of his words. 

As the meal progresses, you’re sitting, chatting with the people around you, and you nearly jump out of your chair when Ron’s arm goes to rest along your shoulders. No way you can’t read into that, right? Ron’s not known for being a touchy person. That’s how it was growing up, but recently, with you, you can’t help but wonder if that reputation no longer exists for him—at least not with you. He was constantly trying to have some part of his body against yours, but was that something you could read into? 

Your thoughts are interrupted when one of Ron’s aunts calls your name from somewhere across from you. “Are you single?”

You nod, taken aback. “Waiting for the right person to come along.” 

“Well, if Ron isn’t going to do anything and give you an honest life, I have a few children and nieces and nephews who can and will.” 

“Um, thank you.” You’re not sure how to respond to Ron’s aunt, but you look toward the man in question, trying to see what his reaction will be. 

He gives you a small, courteous smile, a smile he never uses with you, a smile he only reserves for those he doesn’t want to talk to. He never uses that smile on you, but tonight, he did. “You can do whatever you want with your romantic life. We’re friends, right?”

Oh. 

“Right,” you reply, turning your head away from him and back to your plate. 

There goes that. 

The way you turned away from him made Ron’s heart drop. You’ve never turned away from him like that, so dejected. The normal fire and spirit you have with Ron disappeared. He watched the sparkle in your eyes die right there in from of him. But he doesn’t know where he went wrong. You’re allowed to do whatever you want; he will never try to control you. He was just telling his nosey aunt the truth. You’re friends, and you can date whomever you want—not that any of his cousins were good enough for you. 

The rest of the night continued, but a nagging feeling pulled at his heart as a deep pit opened in his stomach, and he had no idea where it came from. All he knows is that as he watched you help his mother with the dishes, the string on his heart pulled against him, warming his body in places he never knew possible. As he watched you do puzzles with his younger cousins, he couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling that he felt to the tips of his fingers. 

When you hugged him goodbye, he knew he never wanted to let you go. He wanted to hold you against his body forever—keeping you safe from the world. 

Ron couldn’t explain the agony in his body as he watched you walk to your car and drive away. 

Maybe he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with you. He wouldn’t mind making his life for you. 

Well, what does that mean? 

. . . 

Ron’s mother was at her reading club for the night, so Ron invited you over for dinner. He promised a “home-cooked meal, don’t give me that face,” and it excited you. Despite your realized feelings for the man, you can’t help but want to spend your time with him. You know that nothing will ever come of your feelings for Ron, but you can’t stay away from your friend. The happiness it brings you is indescribable. 

But you have an exit plan when you feel yourself getting too much in your head (and delusional) around Ron. 

Setting boundaries, you promised yourself. That was the only way you’d be able to spend time around him and not go crazy, breaking your heart. 

As Ron welcomes you into his mother’s home, the smells from the kitchen hit your nose, and you’re instantly warm and fuzzy as if you’ve been wrapped in a warm blanket. Once your coat and shoes are off, Ron takes your hand and guides you toward the kitchen, giving you a soft smile as he watches you walk through his childhood home. 

You’ve been down this hallway, seeing all the pictures of little Ron, many, many times, but there’s something different about it now for Ron. There’s a new meaning and feeling to it for him. 

But he just chalks it up to being happy that it’s finally peacetime. That he can enjoy moments like these without the fear of being bombed or killed. The people and things most important to him are safe. 

“Penne-vodka,” Ron answers when you inquire about what you’re making. 

Your favorite, you think to yourself, trying to hide the toothy smile begging to be released. 

“Your favorite, right?” he asks, a small twinkle in the corner of his eyes. You give him a small nod, and Ron can’t help the triumphant, happy feeling deep in his chest. 

Ron turns back to the stove, stirring the pot, and you take the time to watch him cook. He’s different than high school, and as your eyes roam over his body, you’re appreciative of the changes his body has undertaken since graduating. The very good changes. 

“Have you talked to anyone from our graduating class since being back?” you ask after a few minutes of silence. 

“Not really,” he replies, short and to the point. “It’s not something I’m too keen on.” 

“Why’s that?” you question in between bites of bread.

He shrugs, ending the conversation there. 

Right, that’s Ron’s new thing. If he doesn’t want to talk about something, he’ll shut down. These conversations only happen on his time—which means never. While you understand that some topics may be too difficult for him to talk about, you wish it wasn’t so hard to talk with him. Often, you were the one who was starting the conversation, pretty much begging for Ron to say something. You knew he was engaged in the conversation because he maintained constant eye contact, laughed at your jokes, smiled at the appropriate times, and nodded when needed. But it felt like you were the only one who made an effort to talk. Sure, Ron was a quiet person, but there’s a difference between being a quiet person and letting the conversation be one-sided. 

Besides, it was you. If Ron couldn’t talk to you, then he couldn’t talk to anyone. Or was it that he wouldn’t talk? 

Why did it hurt you that Ron kept his words hidden and tucked away from you? You were supposed to be one of the people he trusted the most, so why couldn’t he untuck those words with you? 

As you help Ron set the table to eat, you recall the time a few weeks back when you went to Ron’s for a family dinner. You remember that he didn’t say anything really to his relatives. While that made you feel slightly better, it didn’t fully appease your feelings. At least you knew that it wasn’t just you that he held back with, but then again, it was you, and there was no change.  

As the meal continues, you put your confusion and doubts to the side. It didn’t matter his lack of talking or conversation because the safety, comfort, and warmth you felt around Ron significantly outweighed the talking issue. Even if you only got friendship out of him, you knew that you couldn’t go the rest of your life without the way he made you feel. 

He made you feel safe and loved (even if platonically), and that by far was one of the most important things to you about finding a partner—romantically or platonically. 

The rest of the night passed in quiet moments and short conversations, but it was never awkward. That’s how Ron was. There was no need to compensate for the lack of conversation because the quiet wasn’t awkward. It was secure and calm. It was the kind of quiet that came from years and years of learning and growing around the person you loved. 

Well, shit, you chose to ignore that. 

When it was about time for you to head home, you began to voice a goodbye, and Ron led you towards the front door where he helped you put on your coat. 

“Wait, hold on,” Ron says as you’re putting on your shoes. “I have something for you.” 

He quickly makes his back to the kitchen and comes back with a tray of food. You already had a large container filled with leftover Penne vodka, so you’re confused about what he was now handing you. 

“I made you mac and cheese,” he tells you softly, the cheeks and the tips of his ears tinged red. “You can either put it all in the oven at once, or heat up chunks separately. I don’t know why I told you that because I’m sure you know how to cook for yourself. Anyway, I’ll help you take it out to your car.” 

You can’t help the silly smile that takes over your face. You try to fight it, but the smile is there if Ron’s reddening face is any indication. You’ve wanted this boy to talk to you, and by the time you finally get him to say more than two sentences to you, he’s a stern, babbling, blushing mess. It was cute.

“Thank you, Ron,” you tell him, the smile heard in your voice. He nods and makes his way to put on his shoes and walk you to your car. 

With the food and leftovers securely placed in your backseat, you and Ron linger at the driver’s side door. You’re leaning against the car as Ron stands close to you, towering over both you and the car. His eyes are searching your face for any indication of what to do next. 

“Thank you for having me and cooking for me,” you finally say. You didn’t want to leave, but it was getting late, and his mother will be home soon. 

“You’re always welcome here,” he tells you, his eyes sincere and honest. You nod. Without thinking, you lean forward and briefly kiss Ron on his cheek, your lips burning when you pull away, but it’s not any comparison to the way his cheek burns around where you kissed him. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the way Ron’s hand stiffens into a fist as he processes what just happened. His breath is shaky and fast as you pull back, and his eyes are in a daze. 

This time, you’re able to hide your smile as Ron’s face turns crimson red. 

“I’ll see you soon,” you tell him, unlocking your car and getting ready to leave. “Good night.” 

Ron stands there in a daze as you drive away, too confused to move. He’s standing there, unsure of what just happened and why his body reacts the way it did. 

When his mother returns home almost twenty minutes later, Ron is still standing there. 

“Is everything okay?” she asks as she walks over to Ron. That seems to mostly pull him out of his daze. 

“She kissed me,” is all he says, and his mother smiles. 

“You’re a lucky guy.”

He nods. “Very lucky.” 

If only he could control his body temperature and heartbeat then maybe he’d be able to figure out what just happened. 

. . . 

“Do you remember Arden from middle school?” you prompt, your heart tugging at the meaning of your words. 

Ron thinks for a moment, his thumb drawing circles around your ankle. You’re sitting on the couch in the living room of his mother’s home. She’s out, so you feel comfortable resting against one of the armrests, your feet in Ron’s lap. You’re reading a book. The minute your legs rested in Ron’s lap, he placed his arms on your ankles, tracing small patterns, leaving trails of fire in his fingertips’ wake. 

“Yes,” Ron voices, his tone neutral. He doesn’t know where this is going, but if it’s going where he thinks it’s going, he’s not going to appreciate it. 

“They asked me out,” you say after a few moments. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Ron asks, terser than you expected. You’re taken aback by his response. 

“Because you’re my friend—one of my best friends—and we tell each other things,” you reply. “Well, at least I tell you things.” 

“What does that mean?” Ron asks, him now taken aback. 

“It means you don’t tell me anything. I know nothing about your life since we finished high school, and what I do know, your parents have told me. It’s not fair for me to be the only one to share things! I don’t exist as a form of entertainment for you.” 

“That’s not fair.” 

You know it’s not entirely fair. 

“I don’t have to share what the war was like for me,” Ron spits back. But that’s not what you’re referencing, and deep down, you know that he knows that, too. 

“It’s not just that,” you reply. “I’m not talking about that. You’re not required to tell me anything about your time in the war, and that’s not what I’m asking for. There’s so much more to your life that you choose not to tell me about. It’s not fair or right that I’m an open book, and you take it all in, not giving anything back in return.” 

“Don’t do that.” 

“You know everything about me, and I know pretty much nothing about you, and I’m tired of that.” A deep sigh leaves your mouth. “You don’t need to tell me everything, but I shouldn’t be disappointed in the lack of open communication between us. It’s as if you don’t trust me.”

“How can you say that? I trust you more than anyone else in this world!” Ron hears the rise in the volume of his voice. He leans back on the couch, trying to stop himself from yelling because you’re right. He doesn’t share much with you. As much as he wants to share with you, he can never get himself to say anything, and it’s not just about the war. He’s holding back; he knows he is. 

“I’m going to leave.” 

“No, please, don’t,” Ron pleads. Despite this, he releases his hold on your ankles. He won’t hold you back despite how badly he wants to. 

“You have no idea how much you mean to me, Ron.” It’s a thinly veiled confession of love, and you know Ron picks up on it, but you know he won’t say anything or give you a response.

“What makes you think I want that?” So, he was going to address it, but it still got you fuming. 

“I don’t! That’s the whole point! You don’t talk to me, so I have no idea what’s going on in your mind! I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t want to spend my time with anyone else but you!”

You’re staring at him, begging for him to say something, anything. If he told you it was all in your head, you’d believe him. All he needed to say was anything, but you know he won’t. That’s not the kind of person Ron is. He has his walls up; he always has. The war only reinforced them, and while you can’t blame him for keeping things to himself, you can’t help but feel that your worth in his eyes diminished because of his lack of want to share. It’s almost as if you don’t mean as much to him as he means to you. It’s as if you’re more invested than he is in this relationship—platonic or romantic. 

It’s not fair to think those thoughts, but he’s not saying anything to you. He’s not making you feel any better. If he really cared for you in any way, he would say something, right? Ron’s perceptive. He very likely has a clue to what you’re feeling, but you also know he won’t say anything. He stays away from uncomfortable conversations because he isn’t comfortable having them. 

“I’m going to leave, now,” you finally decide. “It’s not fair for me to keep hanging around when I clearly don’t mean that much to you.” 

“You’re wrong,” Ron spills, reaching out to gently grab your hand. You know that he could have held you tighter, but he didn’t. That makes your heart melt, despite the conclusions you’re gathering tonight. He’s giving you the ability to walk away. 

“Tell me why.” You’re looking deep into his eyes, and you want to read into all the looks he’s giving you, but you won’t. Not anymore. 

A few minutes pass where you’re looking at him, silently begging him to say something. 

“I’m leaving now. Please don’t contact me unless you genuinely understand where I’m coming from or why I’m doing this.” With that, you shake your hand out of Ron’s hold, walking away from him, your heart breaking with every step you take. 

As he watches you walk out the door, fuming in anger, confusion, and frustration, Ron can’t help but wonder if he let the best love of his life walk away forever. 

. . . 

A few days pass, and Ron feels a deep aching in his soul. He watches the phone for hours, begging and hoping you’ll call. He knows you won’t call. He knows the cards are in his hands. That doesn’t mean he knows what to do. 

Well, he knows what to do, but he doesn’t know if he’s capable of carrying it out. 

Ron doesn’t know where to start. 

There’s so much of what you said that’s bothering him, but he can’t tell why it’s bothering him. Maybe it’s because of the way your words pierced a hole through his heart, but then again, there are so many other feelings and things that only came out in his heart, mind, stomach, and body whenever you were around. Are those things connected? 

The first thing that made his blood boil and had Ron seeing red was the idea of you going on a date with someone. In theory, the person who asked you out (they who shall not be named) isn’t objectively a bad person, but Ron just doesn’t want you with them. Why would you spend your time with they who shall not be named when you can spend your time with Ron? He doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this angry about you spending your time with someone else. 

It’s a date, Ron tries to reason with himself. I can’t give that to her.

But could he? 

Those thoughts ran through his mind one night at 2 am when Ron couldn’t fall asleep. Could he give you all of your wants and desires romantically? Could he find it in himself to give you a life with more than just friendship? Objectively, Ron knows that out of all the people in the world, you’re the best option to build a life with, and you’re the only person Ron knows he can handle. But that’s not fair to you, to be the last resort (or is it the best resort? Ron hasn’t gotten there, yet.) or someone to “handle.”

The thought of spending the rest of his life with you freaks him, but it also comforts him. Who knew someone could feel both at the same time? Is this what it means to love someone? 

Once he has that singular thought, your other comments spring up in his mind, pushing away any thoughts of love. 

It’s not fair or right that I’m an open book, and you take it all in, not giving anything back in return. 

The war broke Ron. He was already broken, but the war broke him in ways that he never knew he could break. He’s so broken that he couldn’t imagine subjecting you to that. But that’s my decision to make, Ron, he could hear you saying if he voiced those words to you. And imaginary-you is right. It’s intimately clear that you know what you’d be getting when it comes to Ron, and it would be your choice to choose to make a life with him, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He knows he can prevent that pain if he keeps you at arm’s length. 

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Ron doesn’t want that. He wants you as close to him as molecularly possible. He wants to stay away, but he can’t. That’s the effect you have on him. 

He thinks he has it all figured out, and then he remembers the pain in your eyes as you walked away, and when you said,

It’s not fair for me to keep hanging around when I clearly don’t mean that much to you.

He’s already hurt you. By not having the capacity or the ability to tell you just how much you mean to him, he hurt you. You think you mean nothing to him when the truth is the exact opposite. You are his entire world, the reason his heart keeps beating, and the reason he takes a breath. But it’s gone. 

He’s never going to be able to tell you how much you mean to him. He’s never going to tell you how much he loves you.

That thought scares him but also excites him. He’s always been so afraid to think that of himself, but when it’s connected to you, it’s okay. He loves you and knows he’s not good at loving, but somehow, loving you is much better than anything else. He knows that because it’s you, he’ll find a way to fix his shit and be the best possible person for you. But he knows that you won’t let him go and you won’t let him fall. Loving you is the best thing he can do because he found someone who will hold on with their entire being, and Ron knows that he’ll hold onto you with his entire being. 

Loving you means that he takes those scary steps in opening up and being vulnerable. For so long, it was ingrained in Ron’s mind and survival that he couldn’t be vulnerable. Now, he’s learned that in some instances, it’s important not to be vulnerable, and in other circumstances, it’s okay to be vulnerable and open. Being vulnerable is okay because there’s someone there who will take your vulnerability and build a wall around you to the point that you’re safe and comfortable. 

And Ron knows that person is you. 

You’ll take his fragility, emotions, and vulnerability and make it your own. You’ll protect him and love him, and you won’t hurt him because he chose to be fully himself around you. 

Because that’s what love does. 

Love cures. Love protects. Love endures. But most importantly, love loves. 

Ron loves you. 

He loves you. 

He loves you so wholly that he wants to spill his entire world right at your feet. He wants to lay everything at your feet, but he knows it will take time and patience. He knows that you’re that person who will let him get there, and he knows that he’ll love you for it and make it worth your while to give him the time and the way to be vulnerable. 

For a moment, Ron’s scared that maybe he lost his chance with you, but then he remembers something you said that struck him deep in his heart, not knowing the effect it had: 

I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t want to spend my time with anyone else but you!

He knows it’s not guaranteed that you’ll let him back in your life, but he knows he has a small chance. He knows he has a small chance to tell you how much he loves you and to show you that he’s worth it. He’s worth taking a risk for because you’re worth taking a risk for. 

You’re worth everything to Ron, and it’s about time he finds the words to tell you. 

Maybe all he needs to start with is three little words.

. . . 

“You’re right,” Ron blurts out, barely letting you open your door. 

“I mean, yeah, but why do you say that?” you say, a small smile on your face despite the conversation you both had a few nights ago.

“That it’s not fair of you to be the only one to share things. I’m not ready to tell you everything, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to tell you some parts of what happened to me, but I want to try. But you’re right, there’s so much more to that than just the war, and it’s not fair of me to have made you feel lesser because I’m not emotionally capable of telling you things or being the person you needed me to be. ”

“Ron—” 

This was everything you wanted him to say to you, but does it change anything?  

He shakes his head. “If I want to be with you and make a life with you, I shouldn’t be a ghost to you. I shouldn’t be someone you know nothing about.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with,” you attempt to reassure. “That wasn’t the point.” And that was the truth. 

Ron nods, and a small smile tugs at his lips. If only he knew the things he could make you do with just that small smile. “I’ve always been afraid of people knowing too much about me, but I guess the part of falling in love is learning to trust the most important person in your life, and I trust you. I trust you. I want to tell you all the words that are building up in my mind because you’re the only person I want to share them with. I have so many words built up in my mind that it feels like my body will explode. I never wanted to try with anyone else, but you make me want to do better and be better. Even if this goodbye, I’m still going to make an effort for all the people that matter in my life.” 

“If it feels like your body is going to explode, maybe you should go to the doctor. That can’t be a good sign.” 

A chuckle of disbelief leaves Ron’s mouth as he shakes his head. 

“What?” you question. No response follows. Ron gently grabs your upper arm and pushes you into your home as he lets himself inside. Gently and with reluctance, he lets go of your arms and shoves off his shoes. 

“I tell you I’m in love with you and I trust you, and the only thing you got from that was maybe I should go to the doctor?” 

“Oh, oops.” 

“Yeah, oops,” Ron mocks, one of the widest smiles you’ve ever seen stripes his face. “I’m falling in love with you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, and you never were going to lose me.” 

He shakes his head. “You really know how to make a man’s heart weaken and emasculate him. But I guess I deserve this bit of agony and anguish.”

“I’m not doing anything!” 

“I’m telling you I love you, and you keeping skipping over that part.” 

“Because you keep saying things that warrant my more imminent response!” you defend.

“You’re doing it again,” Ron points, stepping towards you. 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

“I’m going to try something,” Ron teases. He’s never teased you before. That was new; it was a new tone to his voice that you wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of your life. 

“What’s that?” your voice shaky. You can’t tell if he can hear you over the rattling of your heart, but by the twinkling in his eyes, you know that he’s in complete control, hoping to elicit a response from you. 

“I love you.” 

It takes a few seconds for you to register what he’s saying. A few blinks help your visual field clear up. Those three little words wipe the air out of your lungs. The ringing in your ears matches the beat of your heart as you process those three little words. For so long, you’ve been waiting for Ron to utter those three words. You didn’t want to be the first one to say those words. He’s so incredibly guarded that you weren’t sure if you were making up how you felt or how he felt, but now you know. You’ve been waiting so long to hear him finally tell you those three little words, and you have no idea what to do next. 

“Hey,” Ron whispers, gently lifting your chin to match his eyeline, taking you out of your thoughts. “What’s going on in your mind? Did I say the wrong thing?”

“What—what did you say?” Your breath is shaky, words finally leaving your lips. 

“Do you promise that if I say it again, you promise not to silently spiral?”

“No.” 

Ron chuckles. “Fair enough.”

A few seconds pass. You’re looking deep into his eyes. You want to say it to him, but you’re unsure if you dreamed it. But also, the way he said those words, his voice deep and husky did so many things to your body that you needed to hear it again. 

“I love you.” A small, nervous smile tugs at his lips as he looks at you expectantly. It takes you a few seconds to get your bearings straight, but when you do, a wide smile overcomes your face, and instantly, Ron knows you’re on the same page as him. In a matter of milliseconds, Ron pulls you against his chest, nuzzling his face against your neck, taking in deep breaths, laced with your calming scent. He’s whispering small “I love you”s into your neck as your arms find their way around his shoulders, your fingers creeping into his hair. 

Despite wanting to be in his embrace for the rest of your life, you pull back slightly, your nose resting against his. “I love you,’ you whisper, wanting so badly to close the gap between your lips and kiss him. 

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Ron replies, his lips brushing against yours. It doesn’t take much for you both to lean in, closing the gap, resting your lips on each other’s. It’s a soft kiss, hesitant and scary. There are still things that need to be sorted out, but right now, things are alright. Things are okay. The basis and the foundation are there. 

You love each other. Without that, nothing else matters. With that, you and Ron can build and develop things from there. With love, all the hidden words will no longer be tucked away, slowly finding their way to the surface. 

The future is uncertain, and there’s no telling if this will work out. But because you and Ron love each other, everything and anything is possible. With love, the future is endless. 

Fin.

Likes are appreciated; reblogs are better

[mayalaen]

VPNs aren't just for pirates and company data anymore

A friend complained to me that they couldn't access pr0n anymore because the government is now requiring ID to verify age where they are, and due to data leaks and privacy issues, didn't want to share their ID even though they're of legal age.

Shit like this doesn't work on the intended target. It only frustrates people who are aren't tech savvy while a lot of kids have already found their way around it because that's what kids do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I talk about VPNs (virtual private networks), non-tech savvy people's eyes glaze over 😂

It sounds like complicated, unknowable magic. It's not! And you don't even have to understand it to use it!

With the government and ISPs (internet service providers) invading privacy more and more and hackers breaking in and stealing user data from companies, VPNs are becoming necessary.

Some Things a VPN Does for You:

hides your data from others

can make your internet speeds faster if your ISP does speed throttling (purposely making your speed slower)

hides what you're doing from your ISP

keeps you safer from some malware, viruses, hackers, and trackers

allows you to access things that are either restricted in your area or not available in your area (such as content in other countries)

keeps you safer when you're out in public connected to wifi

Below is a basic infographic on how VPNs work. When you access the internet, a VPN encrypts your data - making it into a secret code that can't be read by anyone else including your ISP.

Tech companies, ISPs, etc. want you to think VPNs are complicated so that you won't use them.

When searching for a free VPN, please be aware that a lot of the free VPN services out there are malware or full of viruses and trackers.

Either do some research into which one to choose or use a paid VPN service. You can either pay monthly or yearly - the yearly is always cheaper in the long run.

Some of the Top Rated VPN Services:

ExpressVPN $7 - $13/month

NordVPN $3 - $13/month

Surfshark $2 - $14/month

PrivateInternetAccess $2 - $12/month

ProtonVPN (some sites block this one) $4 - $10/month

CyberGhost $2 - $13/month

I use ExpressVPN, so for the purposes of this post, I'm going to use screenshots from ExpressVPN.

Once you have an account, download the program from the website to your desktop/laptop or find the app on Android or iOS app stores.

Signing in requires a code that the VPN will email to you that unlocks all the features. Pay attention when the program installs because it'll ask you about preferences, and you can easily check yes on blocking pr0n when that's the reason you wanted a VPN in the first place 😂

When the program is open, you'll see this:

As you can see in the screenshot, not only do I have the program, but I have an ExpressVPN icon on my browser. The program installs this automatically, and when the program is running, the icon will have a green checkmark on it so you know it's working in your browser.

You'll notice I've recently connected using Japan. I did this so I could watch a series that isn't available outside of Japan.

The program automatically chooses a location near you, but if you want to access things that are restricted to you, make sure you click on the three dots to the right of the selected location (see screenshot below) and search for a state/country/place that your content will be available in.

Once your location is selected, click on the start/power button, and you'll get a popup notification from your computer that ExpressVPN is connected.

Go to the site you want to use and use it like you normally would.

Here's what it should look like when it's running correctly:

Keep in mind that if you leave a VPN running all the time (which is perfectly fine to do), search engines like Google will assume you live wherever ExpressVPN tells it you live, so searching for "stores near me" will give you results that aren't close to you.

When you're done using the VPN, just hit the power button again and it shuts off.

I use this on all my handheld devices, my desktop, and my laptop for business and personal reasons. I'm a pirate, and I've been using VPNs for a long time, yet none of the ISPs I've used have ever given me a warning about torrenting.

Good luck, and enjoy all the new things you can access!

BTW for anybody wondering, my desktop wallpaper is a map of the world's time zones. So pretty!! 😍

[inspirationalucky]

⚡ EPIC: The Musical: The Thunder Saga sentence starters.

Suffering

"Don't you miss me?"

"Jump in the water and kiss me!"

"You know I'm afraid of the water."

"I'll make sure that you are safe and sound!"

"Come play with me and our daughter!"

"I'd be suffering trying to float the whole time."

"As good as that sounds, right here I'm just fine!"

"You know that I prefer my feet on the ground."

"Fine, but only if you answer a question or two."

"So, let's say I was on the run, or hiding!"

"Let's say he blocked the way home with giant waves and giant storms."

"How am I to evade him? How am I to get home?"

"Which route should I take? Where am I supposed to go?"

"He will chase you high and low, so find a place he'd never go."

"The one way you'll get home is sailing where he's scared to roam."

"This is your only way home."

"Well, you asked, and now you know!"

"For you, I would die."

"Now, jump in the water!"

"You know I'm too shy and terrified!"

"We'll jump at the same time!"

"The things I'd do for you..."

Different Beast

"Let's cut the charade, you are no wife of mine!"

"You've been trying to take my life this whole time!"

"I know exactly what you are."

"My real wife knows I'm not scared of the water!"

"My real wife knows I don't have a daughter!"

"While you were so focused on turning my men into snacks, you didn't notice that your friends got snatched."

"We won't take more suffering from you."

"We are the man-made monsters."

"You are a threat no longer."

"We've been away from home for about twelve years or so."

"First we slayed in our own war, and now we're here with more foes."

"I realized nearby there were sirens singing sailors to their dooms."

"You pretended to be my wife, so I just played along."

"I read your lips and phrases, scanning for information."

"Now, I know how to get back to my island."

"Spare us! Spare us, please!"

"Why, so you can kill the next group of sailors in this part of the sea?"

"Nah, you wouldn't have spared me."

"I made a mistake like this, it almost cost my life."

"I can't make more risks of not seeing my wife!"

"We're ending this now!"

"Throw their bodies back in the water, let them drown."

"He is a different beast now."

"Kill them all!"

Scylla

"This is our only way home."

"You're quiet today."

"You hide a reason for shame."

"I've got a secret I can no longer keep"

"Deep down, you know that we are the same"

"I opened the bag while you were asleep"

"I'm so sorry, forgive me!"

"We both know what it takes to survive."

"Deep down, we only care for ourselves."

"Deep down, we're lonely demons from hell."

"Captain, something approaches!"

"Drown in your sorrow and fear"

"We must do what it takes to survive."

"Give up your honor and faith"

"Live up your life as a wraith"

"We are the same, you and I."

Mutiny

"Tell me you did know know that would happen"

"Say you didn't know how that would end"

"Look me in the eyes, and tell me Captain, that you did not just sacrifice six men!"

"Try to say that I'm crazy and mad, that this is all some trick the gods have sent!"

"Tell me that you did not miss home so painfully bad that you gave up the lives of six of our friends!

"When we fought the cyclops, you were quick to hatch a plan."

"It was you who left behind no man!"

"You didn't take a stand, we just ran!"

"Say something!"

"Then you have forced my hand."

"Lower your weapon!"

"Don't make me fight you, brother. You know you'd have done the same."

"If you want all the power, you must carry all the blame!"

"There is no price he won't pay."

"I am not letting you get in my way!"

"How are we supposed to trust you now?"

"You time has come, your luck's run out."

"Now, the time has come to shut you down."

"Please don't tell me you're about to do what I think you'll do."

"Ody, we're never gonna get to make it home. You know it's true."

"I'm starving, my friends."

"We're so close to home! This can't be where it ends."

"How much longer must I suffer now?"

"How much longer must I push through doubt?"

"How much longer must I go about my life like this when people die like this?"

"We can get home!"

"You've doomed us... you've doomed us all!"

"We need to get away from this island, now!"

"Now that we've pissed them off, who do you think he'll send?"

Thunder Bringer

"Pride is a damsel in distress"

"In the end, it's all the same once I apply all the pressure."

"Show her I'm the judgement call, the one who makes her kingdom fall."

"Show her what she can't conceal for true nature will be revealed."

"I were to make you choose the lives of your men and crew or your own, why do I think they'd lose?"

"Enlighten me, King of Ithaca."

"I wonder who'd take the weight of the damned and suffer a gruesome fate?"

"You have passed your prime."

"Someone's gotta die today, and you have got the final say!"

"You or your crew?"

"Please, don't make me do this! Don't make me do this!"

"Let me take the suffering from you!"

"But we'll die."

[soaps-mohawk]

Okay so with this I beg you not to get me wrong, your my absolute favorite writer and i am completely obsessed with the series!! But I just can’t hold onto myself anymore because I’m freaking out about Simon and reader and everything!! When will the next chapter be out? And with this i absolutely mean no rush, the most important thing is that your okay and healthy both physically and mentally!! So I beg you not take me wrong here 😅💙

And also- im not really new to tumblr I would say but there is one thing I just don’t understand- and it’s anons… I don’t understand how it works and stuff soooo if you had the energy to maybe explain that it would be very very much so appreciate 😂

Hope you’re taking care of yourself!! Don’t forget to stay hydrated!

Hopefully this weekend. Like I've been saying multiple times this week. I've still got a ways to go on it, but hopefully it'll be done by tomorrow.

Are you wondering how anons work? Or why people use them? They are what they sound like, pretty much. When you have anonymous asks enabled, it allows people to send in asks without revealing their blog name. You can't see or find out who they are just based on the ask. They're totally anonymous, which is the point. People choose to remain anonymous for any number of reasons. Some people might be familiar with another blog through a side blog, and since you can only send asks as your main blog, they may send anonymously and include their side blog's name in the ask. Others just prefer to be anonymous because they're shy or anxious or just prefer not to reveal their blog name. Regular anons might choose to use a representative emoji or a cute name so whoever they're sending to knows who it is since you can't tell who sends what anonymous message without some kind of signature.

Some people choose not to have it on because it does open up the door for weird or rude people to come in and say stupid things without having to reveal themselves (I remember the days of anon hate very well) though you can block anons which doesn't stop them from being able to send you asks, but you as the receiver won't ever see them. Sometimes blogs will shut off anon if there's a barrage of weird or rude asks coming in. I've done it a couple times in the past.

But yeah, that's essentially how anons work. I hope that answers your question about them.

[love-hatred-stuff]

solo [sequel shot]

》 alright so I know it's starts off rough but this is for those who needed a happy end for my fic "solo"

Enjoy my babiesss :3 ♡

"Come on. Please tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it."

"I'm wrong, James! I was wrong and that isn't your fault. I just don't wanna hang out anymore." A few tears slipped past your eyelids. You were devastated and you knew this day would come. You knew one day he'll find someone that's better than you. Not as broken as you. More useful as a partner in a relationship and not someone who ruins fucking everything.

You were truly heartbroken. But you tried to be happy for him and you were actually. It stung nonetheless, seeing him with another girl that seems to be so put together, so emotionally available. Complete opposite of you and you guess that's why it hurt even more. Him picking someone who is the exact opposite personality type of yours, not to mention someone who looks completely different from what you looked like. It underlined your deepest fear, him actually prefering everything that doesn't represent you.

The thought that had held you together for the past years had suddenly lost its meaning, the thought that he loved you more than anyone else, his promise to be always available for you, vanished, broken. You tried to understand, but it was more than just hard to comprehend.

"But why won't you tell me the reason!?" Bucky was crushed when he heard from you that you can't see each other anymore privately, that he had to forget about you and your close friendship. Because what you didn't know, was that he still loved you, he never stopped. He had never found someone better than you because for him someone like that doesn't even exist. Bucky only ever wanted you to be his, the person he's been in love with for the past two years, the one that he can't help but feel the need to take care of.

"I can't just say 'yeah okay, I won't bother you anymore' to my best friend of so many years I've lost count! You're not just a friend to me, y/n. You're everything I have. You're the only person that truly knows me." James wiped his mouth in desperation. He couldn't loose you. He'd stop breathing.

"Yeah, clearly not." You mumbled under your breath.

"What was that?" He didn't quite catch that.

"James, you know how I am. I'm selfish, manipulative and stubborn. I can't look at your face anymore. Not while knowing you're thinking of someone else while looking a me."

Buckys eyes widened. Only now realising what was going on.

"Why would I do that? I only ever think of you. My brain doesn't even know what to think of otherwise. Would you mind to explain what or who got you thinking this way?" He k ow demanded further explanation.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna head home." Was the only answer you gave him, taking your bag, ready to leave him the fuck alone with his new girl.

"I think the fuck not." Bucky walked in front of you, blocking your way.

Now it was your turn to be surprised. He never talked to you like this. He barely cursed.

"I really should though, I don't wanna take away your quality time with someone else." It may have sounded childish but you meant it. You didn't wanna take away his chance to find and enjoy love. You've done that enough the past years.

"What are you even talking about? I don't have anyone else to spend my time with, are you kidding me?" He was endlessly confused.

This was the last straw, now you were getting angry. He should stop acting like he wasn't meeting up with this girl that he met at a party. You were fucking there when they introduced each other. And you were convinced he had already slept with her. Though you wouldn't blame him, as she really was gorgeous, not only that, but she seemed genuine, too. A real catch.

"Are you kidding me?! James, stop acting like there's nothing between Anna and you! I know there is, I have eyes, you know. Besides, Steve always tells me how much you talk, not only with her but also about her. And knowing that makes me sick! I want you to be happy, and if that happiness doesn't require me, I'm fine with that, but I don't wanna watch you fall in love with her! I just can't, okay? So my decision is to avoid you two so I don't have to look at it any fucking longer, or else I'll go insane!" That's it. That's all you had to say. It was more than you intended to but at least you've got it out.

Bucky just stood there, completely baffled, speechless. He couldn't believe it.

You've tried to shove him out of your way, but he didn't budge.

"If you aren't gonna say anything, can I leave?" You groaned, feeling vulnerable now that he knew your heart.

"So you are telling me, you're jealous of Anna? Of someone who'll always be more interested in you than me?" Your heart began to race.

"Are you implying that she isn't into guys?" You wanted to make sure, not quite getting his point.

Bucky nodded calmly.

"Yeah, she's into you though." He replied.

"Oh my God!" You scoffed, embarrassed by yourself, looking anywhere except his eyes.

"I really thought you liked her. I thought you two were hooking up. I'm so sorry for misinterpreting this, James."

"Quit with the 'James'. You were jealous, weren't you?" He nudged you.

"I guess I was." You nodded shyly.

"Does that mean that- that you like me?" His cheeks getting rosy, you looked up at him.

"Of course I like you, dork!" You laughed, but he sighed.

"No I mean; really like me. As in you're in love me?" Bucky was unsure and scared asking this, but it was time to make this confession.

You looked away, your smile turning into something more vulnerable.

"I don't know? I just want you to myself. I want you to only take care of me, no one else. You're only boy I would let sleep in my bed next to me. And over all I guess I wouldn't mind being more than just a friend to you."

Bucky gently stroked your tear stained cheek, looking lovingly into your eyes.

"You've always been more than a friend to me Y/n. If you let me, I would like to call you my girlfriend and not just my best friend. Because hell, I fucking am in love with you!" He leaned in and let his lips softly touch yours for the first time. It was even better than he imagined it to be.

You two kissed for the following ten minutes without having to take a break. When he carefully let go of your lips to breath, he leaned his forehead against you and sighed once again, this time in utter happiness.

"So what do you say? Will you finally be mine?" His voice sweet and so full of love, just like the kiss you had shared.

"I don't know, what did you say? Anna likes me, yeah?" You joked, giggling into his chest.

He laughed along with you.

"Don't you dare." Bucky smiled, giving you another kiss.

He knew he wouldn't ever be able to get enough of the girl he was now finally allowed to call his.