#i would match style but im garbage

[butch-bakugo]

Im so glad we all rightly clocked the Minecraft movie as probably going to suck and I'm not alone. I was so worried I was just being a pessimist but after seeing what other's have said and what moistcritickal posted (haven't watched it yet), I feel a bit safer sharing my opinion. So, as a mc fan and player for almost, if not exactly, 10 years, I'll give my opinion.

It wants to be the super Mario movie. It wants to be it SO BAD but it doesn't care to actually commit to it. So many awesome movies about gaming IP have come out over the last 5 years from the Mario movie and the fnaf movie to detective pikachu and sonic. All bangers. Idk what it is apparently about 2024 and letting the most sludgy shitty gaming movies being announced/coming out but this is... Not it. This and the borderlands movie (tbf I'm only repeating popular opinion as I haven't seen the movie and am not a fan of the franchise but mega and even casual fans plus it's horrific box office say it enough. ) are probably gonna end up the same.

It looks terrible. Period. Almost everything in it looks terrible and I garentee it's budget was 150 to 300 mil and it still looks like fucking garbage. It can't even commit to being a live action or animated movie. It wants to be both so bad and not lose the recognition of the 2 celebrities it dumped probably a quarter of the budget on. Everything from the mobs to the world design to the cgi already looks like fucking garbage. It looks so fucking bad y'all I'm not even exaggerating. Holy shit. Everything has that fuckin cursed style of realistic components but cartoonish attitude and shape. Everything in the trailer looks like jigglypuff or Mr. Mime from detective Pikachu bred with sonic before everyone bullied them into giving him justice.

Tell me this shit doesn't have the same fucking energy.

This isn't cute, it was never cute, it's fucking creepy to put hi-def details on an originally cartoonish characters. Its giving fleshball with hair. Side note, since tf when were creepers made of grass and leaves n shit? I feel like I'd puke if I touched one by accident.

I want to give credit where credit is due and say the piglins and the ghasts look great. I fuckin love the fact the ghasts are stitched at the seems. They look great. It's almost like cartoon proportions but realistic style can look good in its creepy nature when out on top of characters who are supposed to look creepy and not right. 🙄

I have no idea why they wouldn't just fully animate this movie. Why are there fully human live action actors in this bitch but literally everything else is CGI. These poor actors are just standing on green screens when they very literally could have just been live action segments of them popping in and out of the world of Minecraft while voicing their minecrafty looking selves while animated. Literally just give it the ready player one treatment. Also why is Steve, the titular Minecraft character, a live action human as well? Even if your weird fascination with Zionist autism-speaks devotee Jack black is what you paid ungodly money for, he's a good voice actor. He showed that in the Mario movie as Bowser. Why does he have to be not only an IRL human but also his beard nor skin tone match canonical Steve. Jason Momoa, the only moc on the cast of human characters, would match Steve's actual skin tone. The boy's got melanin, Jack does not.

Speaking of the human characters, I can smell the uninteresting cookie-cutter nerdy boy with a crush he needs to profess to protagonist a mile away, I'm sure the little girl character is tough on the outside but soft when she warms up and is quirky and joins the bad guys for a bit only to come back but never has any actual character, idk litterally anything about the adult woman character other than her outfit is giving Dora and she litterally says nothing during the trailer and jason Momoa? I'm alittle worried. First off, why you got this whole ass man in that shitty ass wig. That is party city shit. I could find better for $8 on Amazon. Second off, though I think he's trying to be like... 80s 90s pop star twisted sister style shit, im NGL... My first thought was " is this a transmysognistic caricature?" Because of notch and the fact he moves pretty femininely through the trailer. I won't judge it yet but like... My hackles were UP up. I'm stressed. Another thing of note? No Alex nor Villagers. The villages were there and actively plundered but no villagers.

Something interesting of note is that the villagers were originally made, by notch, to be antisemitic caricatures. That's why they have the big nose, the nasally voice, considered primitive, the specific obsession with emeralds of all gems, why their deals always suck and they come off greedy. Mojang did very little to change their original design and even though you couldn't tell nessesarily without knowing that context that the villagers were a caricature, that doesn't make them less of one and Mojang really should of made the choice to change them by now. I, like many other allies and obviously the Jewish community, always felt a little uncomfortable with them but are now especially nervous about their more realistic but still cartoony take. We've seen plenty of human/realistic but cartoonish takes on villagers fully lean into the caricature with hooked noses, pointed ears and other common ethnicly Jewish features. Some even Include Payots ( the curly pieces of hair worn on orthodox Jewish men), Yamakas and stars of davids. These are clearly antisemitic caricatures and I, and many other fans, are worried about their one screen translations. I can only hope they humanize them as some more realistic takes on villagers can be good.

My second to last note is the setting, holy fuck is it UGLY ugly. Like I dont watch any Minecraft YouTubers or streamers so I'm not accustomed to tracing rays 1,000 mods realistic lighting, realistic resources, needs huge processors to run without the computer becoming the same temp as the surface of the sun to be happy with the way it looks but like... Ew. I play raw mc, no mods on console (and PC at one point but that was awhile ago and also with no mods) and I, through buildings or natural landscapes and locations, etc have seen prettier lighting and locations than what they chose. Like, one of the many joys of Minecraft is the simplistic but natural and real and relaxing atmosphere the world of Minecraft can be. Even when it's raining or snowing. Minecraft sunsets and sunrises after you spent the last real world 56,000 hours on this big building complex and finally resting and watching the sunrise over your work and the mountains or ocean or forest or even desert around you become pink then yellow then bright as the start of a new day is a healing experience. It can be emotional even. That landscape looked like garbage. Incredibly monotonous and boring and plain. Just nothing. How you squeeze the very easy thing of a beautiful atmosphere out of Minecraft is beyond me.

Speaking of emotions, let's talk about the story and the humor/dialogue. I'll start with the later and end my thoughts with the former. The humor, the little we did see, seemed at least a little bit on brand for Minecraft. The animals especially. I'll give it that, I just hope it's not unending poop or fart or pee jokes. Finally, I, like many others, are very worried this is a modern isekai ass Jumanji style shit take of minecraft. We are very worried this is just modern people shoved into minecraft to solve a problem, save the world and leave. This isn't what Minecraft's about, it's not it's messaging nor ever been a " hero/band of heros story" about saving the world, I don't even think it will honor the final poem of the game.

Minecraft has always always ALWAYS been about community, belonging, making a place for yourself in a world that won't accept you, working together and coexisting. It's about peace. It's about sharing. These messages are very near and very dear to the 6 yr old gen alphas who've been playing it since they were 2 or 3 yrs old and beat it 60 times to the elder Gen z and millennials like me who grew up with the game and have a special place in our hearts for the world's we've built and lost to the 89 yr old grandma who played it over covid and built a home for her whole family to visit and live in with all the accommodations they could want. Minecraft is for all ages and everyone has either played it or heard of it, it is the most successful singular game in the world ffs. It has sold more copies than ANY single game in existence, over the most common production of solitaire and Tetris and Space invaders AND any super Mario or Pokemon game. Minecraft rakes in over billions of dollars and millions of players every single year. Those who start playing it struggle to stop. It's a cultural icon, a seriously beloved and wholesome one. One the fans truly took, made it their own for everyone's benefit and spawned so much spin off media and love that it's done better than most games could ever dream to do. Minecraft's success and communal love, despite the unsavory trend of pedo and bigoted YouTubers centered on the game, is its soul. It's driving force. Its succession literally cannot be understated and cannot not be attributed to its fans.

I fear this movie is a slap in the face money grab disrespectful turd in a doggy bag left on the community's porch. I fear this movie will have none of the game's and community's values and lessons and love. I fear this movie will do what Mario, sonic and fnaf did not, hurt it's audience. I, like many other fans, already have an unsavory taste left in our mouth's from this trailer pie and we can only hope it didn't come from American pie or the help. The movie looks fucking soulless. It looks corporate. Like it only exists to make money off the already successful IP that is Minecraft. Like they saw the box office explosive success of sonic and Mario and fnaf and decided to shit something else explosive out as quick as possible to jump on the trend. I fear because it's fucking Hollywood, the messages it holds will be watered down and tasteless like a fucking LaCroix where someone ate a cubic millimeter of an orange peel and shat in my can and called it flavor. It'll be the same old schmut that every kid friendly movie has. It will have no nods to and for its existing fans to comb through and point out and smile that they are seen.

It may not even have a fucking ender dragon or a wither. Will it even have the nether? People already pointed out that most movie trailers include some of the big cool (expensive) parts of the movie and if they eventually fight the ender dragon, they would of probably included that in the trailers due to how cool (expensive) that scene would be. It's not there. All we see is piglins, a relatively small enemy in the game, pillaging villages (why no , ya know, actual pillagers pillaging. Why piglins... Who are barely present in the over world....who dont attack unless provoked... and only attack the player not suddenly aggro with every AI in sight... Why are they attacking villagers suddenly....) which.... Isn't super interesting. That and the irl actors walking around and discovering how to fucking play the basic shit in Minecraft like getting wood.. and making crafting tables.... And talking to Steve. Like this has bad shitty written all fucking over it... I'm so worried.

We, the fans who work and love this game tirelessly, deserve better than isekai diet Jumanji live action meets shitty animated garbage.... I can only hope and pray that my take on this ages poorly. I hope it ages poorly and I'm horribly wrong and it's the next fnaf movie and shows huge amounts of respect for the fans. I want to be wrong. I want us to be respected. However you can't ignore the blood in the handkerchief concerning movies with a highly popular IP, too many a-list celebrities, high costs and piss poor CGI. It rarely doesn't lead to disaster. Please let me be wrong.

[valodia]

OK re that last post/drawing. Lets elaborate on that and add the music score rating. This will sound insane btw. Its highly subjective.

Ou. ter Wil.ds

Gameplay: 5 stars - introduces simple but cool features, nothing extraordinary for my taste but serves what it does perfectly. Low res visuals: 4 stars - just fine, low res as i like it, doesnt crash your computer just watching a LP. loses a star bc its 3d obviously Aes/scenery: 5 stars+ - such creative and artistic sights. awe inspiring. just the DLC's world is incredible by itself but everything is different and unique Mood/vibes: 5 stars+++++ infinite - makes me cry just thinking about it. perfect perfect perfect cannot understate this Storytelling: 5 stars+ - the way the story is told tells just enough and leaves you to figure the rest out, exactly as everything should be. any other type of storytelling is garbage but thats my own subjective opinion Innovation: 5 stars - never seen a game like this. Symbolism: 5 stars+++++ infinite - watched a bunch of hours long analysis videos and learned something about the themes every single time. i still feel like it has more to tell too Worldbuilding: 5 stars+. so creative so creative so creative. sadly the storytelling style doesnt allow for more depth which is fine the way it is for this style. but i yearn to know more Music score: 5 stars+++++ infinite - sound design in general is perfect. idk what else to say its just amazing. not my fave music style though but perfect for what it does here and the associated emotions are gut wrenching. Bonus replayability rating: 0.5 stars - i want to wipe my memory to experience it again, over and over. considering not interacting with it for 10 years to try it again from the top. not likely as im hyperfixating on it currently.

Ken.shi Gameplay: 5 stars+++++ infinite - i never want any other style of gameplay in a game. Low res visuals: 3 stars - low res as i like it. unfortunately this isnt 2d. would have matched the aes so much better. the game is beautiful but could be more which is why this rating is low. Aes/scenery: 4 stars - would be 5 but so much space is empty. it serves the vibe of the game but its also overkill lets be honest Mood/vibes: 4 stars - great. could be better though. see above Storytelling: 5+ stars - i think it isnt infinite stars only bc ive known this game for years and became a bit jaded by it. otherwise my absolute fave style of storytelling. tell almost nothing and speculate. every art do this or die Innovation: 5 stars+ - comes up with so many cool ideas that it actually makes you feel like there are more than there are. anyway unprecedented, never been done before, etc etc etc. the gameplay, the concepts, etc etc. Symbolism: 4 stars - there are a lot of things to say about it. provided that you speculate correctly. could be more but fine the way it is. Worldbuilding: 5 stars+++++ infinite - perfect. Music score: 2.5 stars - its fine but loses at least one star bc part of it makes it annoying. not very diverse either. i usually just turn it off. otherwise great vibes for it. Bonus replayability rating: 4.5 stars - never tire of starting over, in fact its way more fun than the end game stage. play regularly Now lets do Dar.k Chr.o.nicle. Gameplay: 4 stars - cool features for a game like this. Low res visuals: 4 stars - its got that playstation/gamecube goodness Aes/scenery: 4.5 stars - some areas are so pretty Mood/vibes: 4 stars - makes me feel nostalgic and like the world is simple and good, which is kind of the point bc it has black and white retro rpg morality. Storytelling: 2.5 stars - its fine, very conventional for the genre. the time travelling mechanic is incredibly cheesy, best not to think about it too much. Innovation: 3.5 stars - introduces many features ive never seen in a rpg, but at its core stays very true to its genre. Symbolism: 1 stars - good will prevail no matter what and people are evil bc theyre hurt. doesnt really have any deeper themes. Worldbuilding: 2.5 stars. actually 1.5 stars only due to elves and moonfolk Music score: 5 stars - one of my fave instrumentals ever comes from this song and i just still listen to the OST regularly despite the fact that ive played this game as a child first and foremost. ive never forgotten its music Bonus replayability rating: 3 stars - 1 star due to nostalgia factor and another bc its nearly impossible to complete everything. i come back to this game about once every few years

i hope ive been exhaustive otherwise ill edit this. if you read all this wow. really?!

[boiledhotdogwater]

hi! can i request a bsd matchup? ))

im a 19 year old female with dyed ginger upper back length hair and blonde/platinum blonde peekaboo highlights and the same colour curtain bangs! i have 4 tattoos and 5 ear piercings! im 5'3, ivory skin tone, freckles on my nose during warmer and sunny days. i have dimples. i have heterochromia so one eye is olive green and the other one is brown. my body is hourglass shaped and im bigger in the chest and thigh area. when it comes to my clothing, i dress myself in grunge inspired style, but sometimes i love to go for goblincore or cottagecore dresses!

my mbti is INTP, enneagram 5W4 and im a cancer sun, aquarius moon and capricorn rising. im bisexual with a preference for men and my love languages are quality time and physical touch.

now moving on to my interests and hobbies! in my free time, i enjoy reading. I'm a huge bookworm and i own so many books that i have read, plan to read and haven't even touched yet but collecting books is a passion of mine. my favourite genres of books are romance, mystery and young adult books, but i also have a deep love for classics. i also love drawing and painting (since i went to an art school so all of that was a huge part of my life). going to musems and similar places where you can spend your time and enjoy your surroundings is something i really value and enjoy to do; either alone or with a S.O! i love music a lot too. my spotify playlists all vary from classic rock, heavy metal to classical music which i often love to use for daydreaming when im meant to study for college :D my favourite bands are pink floyd, led zeppelin, fleetwood mac, the beatles and my favourite singer is lana del rey! i love crystals and crystal work and i practice and do tarot and tarot readings often, thats kinda a hobbie of mine :) i study english langauge and teaching at university. i write poems and short stories but am too scared to publish them :)

i think thats everything! so thank you so very much for reading this and thank you so much if you decide to do mine!! have an amazing day<33

A/N: you sound beautiful I’m not even gonna lie 😭 I have central heterochromia so twins (kinda but not really because yours is so much cooler)

For Bungou Stray Dogs I match you with…

Edgar Allen Poe!

- This man would be so down bad for you. Down astronomical if you will.

- You two definitely met in a cozy second hand book store; you both shared an interest in the same book and got to talking from then on (he was probably a stuttering and blushing mess the whole time)

- Before having Ranpo try out his mystery novels, he would have you give it a read through because without your stamp of approval, the book garbage

- You guys as a couple make me think of sitting indoors on a rainy day surrounded by plants while reading by the window (if that makes sense)

[v-zbr]

VMAs!!!!

Yup, VMAs happened. blah blah nothing really interesting but taylor's album announcement and nicki's performance happened, sorry!

but y'all know i love me some red carpet looks and since i have nothing better to do right now, i'm gonna say my opinion on some of them!

Taylor Swift in Oscar de la Renta love this

Anitta in Schiaparelli Couture okay, werk!

Lizzo in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture i love me some Lizzo and some Jean Paul, but mawma, this is garbage. BOOT

Lil Nas X in Harris Reed a literal icon. im sorry but this slaps REALLY FUCKING hard

BLACKPINK i like it

Bad Bunny no

J Balvin in Gucci simple, yet so good looking.

LL Cool J what the fuck is that

Chloe Bailey in Zigman goddess from the future eleganza.

Sabrina Carpenter in Moschino YES! THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

Måneskin in Gucci ngl, they looked better many times before, however they are still sticking to their memo so yassss

Dove Cameron in Paco Rabbane no, this is bad

Avril Lavigne this garment is Versace... and tbh Versace never looked worse. its bad and ugly jesus christ avril you can do better

Snoop Dogg this is funny, he's doing what he can do best - camp

Brendon Urie i'm not gonna even comment on this outfit since it's literally so fucking basic but i just want to announce that im so glad my brendon urie phase is over for me now

Conan Gray in Harris Reed lose the thing around your neck and i love it. you're doing something harry styles always wanted to do but always failed, conan.

Ashley Graham if a skinny bitch was wearing this outfit, everyone would be like YAAS QUEEN. yea i know some outfits works just for certain body types but tbh fuck society and everything, im living for this

Bebe Rexha in Vivienne Westwood bebe rexha was never an interesting celebrity but she turned this shit out bitch

Joel Madden throw him out of the fucking carpet for wearing something you can wear to a baseball match jkbsdhwdqo jesus christ

Becky G in Zuhair Murad Couture oh bitch! you served cunt

JID in Saint Laurent i really enjoy this garment.

DJ Khaled fuck you for those shoes

Khalid in Versace i dont want to say not great, not terrible, 'cause its kind of great, but... there were better outfits this year

Monét X Change, Bob the Drag Queen and Kerri Colby i didn't like Bob's, i really loved Kerri's and Monét's outfits

Ryan Castro werk, this is fun

Sarah Ramos and Chloe Fineman babes, what the fuck did you think when you've decided to wear this?

Rachel Smith yup, definitely like this

lol, more images aren't allowed in one post, so let me also say that the colour green just isn't Colton Haynes' colour; Kennedy Rue McCollough and Rachel Lindsay were really great; throw Dupré Kelly out of the carpet for the same reason as Joel Madden; Justina Valentine, you will always be famous; what has Luna Clipse thought when he showed up to the carpet in what he did - i dont know and dont want to know; Trina Njoroge, I love you in pink; Rachel Robinson, that was hideous; why is Chris Olsen famous when there is nothing interesting aboit him?; and Dometi Pongo... you're so hot.

anyways, stream Kylie Minogue

BYE BABES, LOVE YA

[year2000electronics]

I am very very behind on Deltarune Easter eggs and theory crafting, so um... Where is gaster?? In Deltarune?? Admitadly I did like one playthrough of each chapter and didn't watch a lot of videos,, so I probably missed something, but everyone seems so convinced gaster has something to do with the questions at the beginning and the secret bosses and if it's not too bothersome I'd like some help getting in the loop 👉👈

im the resident gaster enjoyer so let me enlighten you [cracks knuckles]

- the translation for entry no 17 (gasters entry) is in all caps, so we know gaster would speak in all caps if he were not speaking in wingdings

- the actual character maker in the files is called ‘gonermaker’ which all of gaster’s followers are also called ‘goners’- the fact they share the same monochrome colour scheme STRONGLY suggests the vessel has a connection to gaster

- i dont have the tweets with me rn but i believe a lot of the ‘takeover’ tweets on tobys account (done in all caps, spaced out in the style entry no 17 is) have some more dialogue quirks that imply it could be gaster as the overseer of the ‘survey’ 

- both secret bosses never spell out things 100% so its hard to tell exactly what went down but its implied through stuff like seam’s shop dialogue saying that what jevil told them makes the world feel ‘dark yet darker’ (parallel to dark darker yet darker), and an addison says when they checked spamtons phone there was only garbage noise, when you try to do a call in the dark world a dialogue box pops up that says ‘its just garbage noise’- this garbage noise matches with the ambiance that plays during entry no 17 

- its also theorized that gaster is the man who gives you the egg in the optional easter eggs room, since its an event unlocked in a similar fashion to undertale, the room setup is near identical to gasters in undertale, and ‘a man’ is close to ‘mystery man’ which is what gasters sprite is called 

as of rn theres no way to say what gasters intentions are but his presence is definitely here in one way or another: he’s tied more strongly to the vessel creator but the secret bosses are very likely to have interacted with him in some way shape or form 

[your-local-bnha-writer]

Hello ur my favorite account😭! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Noya, Tsuki, & Kageyama where u guys are dating but at a tournament, u run into ur ex boyfriend ( who is a huge douchebag) and is saying a bunch of garbage about u? How would they react? , how would it impact their playing style cause get this- karasuno is playing against ur ex boyfriends team🤭🤭🤭🤭

jealous bfs tanaka, noya, tsukki kags,

hey I’m gonna mash these two requests! I hope you enjoy this was a lot of fun to write!

also favourite account?? me?? 🥺🥺

➣ characters included : tanaka, noya, tsukki, kageyama (separately) x fem!reader

➣ headcannons

➣ warning : a lot of swearing 😳 like there’s a lot, your jerk ex talking crap, scary bfs

ryūnosuke tanaka

- karasuno had made it to the nationals, and right before their game against Tsubakihara, lil ol Tanaka had to use the bathroom

- a horrible decision really, just ask hinata

- he walks in and hears your trash ex talking crap abt you

“Yeah, can you believe it? I saw my ex here, Y/n. I think she’s the manager for her team? Karasuno. Is she really that desperate for attention from other guys?”

- Tanaka is p i s s e d like, no one gets to talk about his precious love without experiencing the wrath from Ryūnosuke Tanaka

- So mans just straight up walks to your ex, “gently” taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and starts defending your honour

“Y/n? Y/n L/n? The most beautiful, gorgeous, precious girl in the world? That Y/n?”

“Uh, yeah? Who are y—”

“Hi I’m the new boyfriend, and let me just tell you...”

- Tanaka goes oFF he’s not letting this douche bag of an ex get his way, he straight up just goes on a 2 hours speech about how perfect you were

- and how much of a douche your ex was

- Eventually, Hinata finds Tanaka in the bathroom (since his stomach was actin up lol) and goes to alert the other guys + you

- So, the whole gang is here, Daichi and Suga have to drAG Tanaka away from your ex while Noya hypes him up

- You have to calm him down and ask him why the hell he was yelling at someone in the bathroom

“Your ex was talking shit about you, I’m not just gonna let them do that”

- You’re immediately like 🥺🥺 Tanakaaaa you didn’t have to do that omg I love you sm

- When it’s finally time play these guys Tanaka is surprisingly calm, like it’s actually terrifying

- Oh and you bet Tanaka’s going all out he is on fire, he’s landing every spike and you can practically hear the impact on it

- Right after he lands a spike he celebrates with his team and stares directly at your ex who’s shooketh 😳

“Yeah take that! You regret breaking up with Y/n now?”

“Tanaka stOoOoP omg—”

- After Karasuno wins he gives you the most passionate kiss, in front of your ex and you pull away blushing

- Your ex just rolls his eyes and goes to pack up with his team while Tanaka’s looking all smug and Noya’s hyPED

yuu nishinoya

- The boys were getting ready for the match against Johzenji, and were just doing some basic warmups

- You had to help Kyoko and Yachi with something so you weren’t in the gym at the moment

- But your asshole of an ex was talking shit about you, very loudly 😳 and very obnoxiously too

- This mf, instead of practicing and doing fricken warmups, he’s talking crap abt you, and you weren’t even in the vicinity!

- But your boyfriend was, oh and he heard everything, every single word that came out of you ex’s mouth

“Pfft yeah she’s still annoying as ever, not surprised she’s dating the dude that’s 5’2”

- Ohh big mistake bud, not only did you insult his perfect Gf, but his height as well? Like dang pick one or the other dude

- So, Noya can’t take it anymore he’s been holding back bc he’s supposed to be warming up for the game but at this point he just couldn’t

- He straight up runs over to the other side of the gym to knock some sense into the jerk

- Tanaka follows not to stop him (although he is a bit worried 😳) but to hype him up bc that’s his best friend’s gf you don’t get to do that

- Asahi is scared shitless so Ennoshita has to keep the horny tornado in check, while Suga is conflicted

“What the hell did you say? Don’t you dare insult Y/n again! This is why she left your sorry ass! Who are you talk shit about my beautiful girlfriend I’ll fight you right now—”

- Ahem well, as you can see he’s very pissed off and uh he ends up getting scolded by coach Ukai

- except at the very end of him scolding he gives noya a few pointers on how to defend your gf without showing bad sportsmanship

- You witness the whole thing and just go up to Noya to calm him down a little

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to go off like that,”

“Yeah I did, Im not letting that douche talk shit about my crazy hot girlfriend”

- noya stop this isn’t the time 😳🥵

- During the game he is extremely focused and there’s this terrifying aura that’s escaping him

- Like Asahi might actually shit his pants just standing next to him

- Karasuno absolutely destroys Johzenji bc Noya is not letting that ball drop on their side of the court

- After the game, like Tanaka Noya straight up kisses you in front of your ex, leaving you a blushing mess as Noya gives him a smug look

kei tsukishima

- aHEM um, alright get ready folks bc this is a scary one

- So it’s Kagugawa vs Karasuno and Yamaguchi is sort of wandering around with Hinata right before the game probably to try and cool their nerves 💀💀

- When they hear your someone talking abt you

“My ex is here we’re vs her team, I know yeah, she’s probably so annoying”

- Dude Yamaguchi and Hinata have never ran faster in their entire lives, they immediately go to tsukki and it’s just a scream fest

“TSUKKI THERES SOMEONE TALKING ABT Y/N!”

“yeAH!! and he was all like ‘she’s probably so annoying’”

“mHM AND—”

“okay I think I got it, where are they?”

- shits about to go down, when Tsukki gets mad, he doesn’t lose is cool, instead he keeps a level head and strategize on how to completely destroy his opponent

- so Yams and Hinata drag him to where your ex was and point him out, and he’s stILL on the phone

“Mhm, yeah she’s super annoying”

- Oh Tsukki is pissed off, he has this intimidating aura coming from him as he approaches the dude that’s shitting on you

“You’re the ex? Yikes...😬”

- Tsukki will wait for what he has to say and the whole time he just has the biggest smirk on his face, like it’s about to go down

- Yams and Sho are hyped uP but they’re waiting behind the door bc they’re babies and they’re scared

- Mm Tsukki does not hold back, he straight up roasts this dudes ass, mans just releases all the salt that’s stored in him

“Mhm yeah, that’s pretty pathetic”

“Heh lame”

“Wow...I can’t believe she really dated you”

- Yeah that’s not that much salt

- Tanaka find the three of them in the bathroom and as much as he wants Tsukki to keep going, they have to get ready for the game

- During the game, your ex tries to spike and he’s instantly shut down my Tsukki and his 6’3 ass, It’s quite hilarious 😌

- Anyways, Tsukki blocks your ex every single time wiTH A SMIRK, mans is not holding back on this bitch

- He says it’s bc he was predictable

- Later, Karasuno beats Kagugawa and Tsukki hardcore glares at your ex like it’s pretty scary since Tsukki is one to act all sassy rather than mad when he gets irritated

“You don’t talk shit about her, ever”

- SUDHDJD DAMN TSUKKI CHILLL

- You watch all of this happen and you immediately ask your boyfriend if something was wrong bc you’re a tad bit worried

“We just had a disagreement that’s all”

“uHH YEAH RIGHT TSUKKI WENT OFF EARLIER IN THE BATHROOM—”

tobio kageyama

- Um another scary bitch please do not talk trash about his gf when he’s around

- He’s probably filing his nails away from his team bc he needs his peace and quiet and doesn’t wanna get bullied by Hinata and Tsukki

- When he hears a guy talking very loudly to his friend, now usually he’d ignore them or move spots but like this dude is talking abt you

- So, he stays for a bit and listens to what he has to say. Who even is this dude? Why does he know you? Why is talking to loud like please shut the f—

“Pfft yeah my ex is here with her volleyball team, I talked to her earlier and oh my god she’s exactly the same when I first dated her”

- I’m not sure if that’s a roast sorry I’m bad at these

- Oh now Kags is pissed, see he was already a little irked that this jerk was your ex but he was also talking trash abt you? Nahh

- He throws his nail file on the ground and stomps right up to this douche to smack some sense in him

“Yeah she’s hella annoy—”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

“Who tf—”

- So Kageyama is also unusually “calm” about the whole situation which makes it even more terrifying

- Kageyama will most likely go off and tell this dude that he has no business talking abt his gf like that

- he’ll focus more on dissing the dude and let me tell you this dude’s roasts h u r t

- like his insults are like 90% swear words

“goblin lookin ass”

“long titty no nipple lookin ass”

“get outta here you abominable fuck waffle”

- Imagine this scary ass dude coming up to you, telling you to shut the fuck up, then realizing this is Tobio Kageyama, The King of the Court, the incredible setter that has precise aim, the 2nd half of the freak duo, going off on how you should stfu abt his gf

- oh and you’re facing him on your next game

- and he absolutely obliterates your sorry ass

- his sets are perfect, he blocks every single fuckin spike you make, and when you think he’s going setting to #10 think again bc he will do a setter dump

- basically he’s on fire and tear the other team to shreds it’s kind of scary actually, hinata was sweating buckets when kageyama served since he looked so terrifying at the moment

- after the game, kageyama would want to leave immediately he doesn’t want to see your ex anymore

“You doing okie? Did something happen with you and him before the game?”

“Yep, but it’s nothing don’t worry about it”

- kags you have that creepy smile again stop you’re scaring y/n

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[hegglespeggles]

How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps

Hello. I have an essay to write.

I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.

Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it’s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.

 Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.  

  FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT

1.    Go get the prompt.

I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.

(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)

Boom?

BOOM.

Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first

(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)

2.    Math THE FIRST

I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY

Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.

Time to split this bitch up

  3.    Yarrrrrr, CONTENT

And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.

This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a  great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT

Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)

Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.

  4.    MATH THE SECOND

 The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?

So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.

 RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.

If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.

If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip

5.    CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.

It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.

  6.    Filling in the skeleton

 I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER

a)      You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section

or

b)     You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”

I prefer the second so LEGGO.

Ta-Da!

7.    Write ‘er up

Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.

I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this

 The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going

And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”

  8.    Citations

Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.

 Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.

  9.    Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.

If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.

  10.       Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED

 No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.

 Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight

EPILOGUE

I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps. 

[strawberrysoup]

can i ask how you chose the titles for bourre and lets review? I like them alot and Im very excited for the continuation/start of them both!

yeah for sure. so bourre (its really supposed to be bourré but aint nobody got time for that in tags lmaoo) is pronounced boo-ray and its a card game we play in louisiana, hence the very cajun pronunciation. its similar to like, spades but the exception is bourreing. winner takes the most tricks, obviously, but if someone doesn’t win any tricks, they bourre. if you bourre, instead of the usual ante you put in the pot before a round, you have to match the pot (this can get just... so dicey no matter what youre playing with. money. cracklins. one time i watched my cousins get into a fist fight over crawfish tails).

let’s review was much more accidental lmao i was literally thinking about penny as a character and i had this picture of her in my head bein like “why am i so upset? let’s review all the fucked up things youve done, shall we?” and while making plot points i would literally sit there goblin style like lEtS rEvIeW tHe GaRbAgE sHaLl wE while cackling. i still do it lmaoofuck.

thanks so much for asking dude, these kinds of asks are my fav for sure! glad you like the fics so much!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)

Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.

“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”

Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.

“im old.”

But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.

As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.

And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.

“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”

They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.

These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.

“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”

“oh god she’s back”

“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”

Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.

“shits bad”

Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.

“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”

Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...

There’s a bloodstain on it.

So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.

This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.

“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”

The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.

How topical.

“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”

“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”

“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”

And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.

Ryoko logs into Runescape.

Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.

You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.

“thats the dark souls of swords”

“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”

“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”

The scene ends. Alright, where are n-

Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.

Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.

Nose the size of a wire.

Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.

Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.

“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”

“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”

Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD

“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”

Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.

This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.

“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”

Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.

“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”

“shit ill get her some”

Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.

Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.

“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”

“hibiki please its not weed”

“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”

Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.

No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.

The weed? Secured as shit.

“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”

“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”

PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!

“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”

“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”

“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”

“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”

“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”

“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”

Every car is destroyed.

Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.

“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”

“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”

“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”

“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”

Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.

“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”

RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD

“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”

“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”

“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”

“that is absolute fucking bullshit”

“but i believe it.”

Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.

Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then

FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT

“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”

The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.

Immediate fear.

“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”

“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”

The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.

“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”

The sword just floats there, as a sword does.

“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”

Chris goes to get it.

“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”

Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.

Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.

“oooooh holy shit”

Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.

Real spicy stuff running through her veins.

The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.

“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”

“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”

Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.

Holy shit, Hibiki.

Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...

...oh.

You’re not looking so hot, pal...

“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”

Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.

“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”

“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”

“SLICED...”

“...HONEYBAKED...”

“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”

“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”

“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”

Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.

“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”

To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.

“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”

“...”

“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”

[humankoalaa]

freeland ive missed you!

BLACK LIGHTNING!

everytime a recap starts with thundergrace a child is fed. don’t @ me.

im not even 30 seconds in the damn episode and im already dying 🤣🤣 lala and this same damn tracksuit with the pinky ring. BRO… who are you 😩

the fact that LALA shows up with a gun in hand. like can we give him another entrance? and also how many times has he resurrected now? 🤦🏾‍♀️

jefferson calling lala latavius still gets me everytime 🤣 how many times has that man said his name is lala Jeff? huh?

LMAOOO i ain’t even finish the initial sentence and lala once again tells Jeff his name is lala!

lemme find out cress tryna grow his hair out.

okay okay resurrected twice. got it.

this beat in the background lit tho.

this ninja done shot super dad.

jenn would be tryna make her suit cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“i shouldn’t have to sacrifice style for practicality” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i love jenn so much.

she’s seriously talking about nice fabric for her suit. i can’t. this is just so jenn and these writers are just brilliant!

that old suit tho… hot garbage 🥴😩

this lab scene is everything tho 😭 the power of jenn!

who is earl tho?

awh lawd they done resurrected the entire unintentional suicide squad 🤦🏾‍♀️

oh nevermind lala seeing shit again.

WHO IS EARL 😩

lol sit down lala that chair ain’t do shit to you

jenn is the realest 😭

anissa in tears breaking my heart 😭

“just go find grace” OKAY?! say it louder!

best little sister ever.

nafessa tho 😍

lmao that fast little daughter of yours 😂 okay lynn. OK.

christine got the best fade tho.

agent rafiki back on his bullshit.

agent yoda: “do you understand what im saying?”… lynn: “you don’t like dogs?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

who. is. earl.

“i will shoot you straight in the face” 😂😂 this is the blackest thing that’s ever been said on the cw 🤣

i like don’t care about any of this tho…

finally some damn action from the great value suicide squad.

wardrobe department…. why y’all got cress in these tight ass pants tho? 😩

is that earl?

lol i forgot todd died.

agent extra terrestrial needs to die.

nafessa looking fye again 😩😍

wait…. i know damn well that’s not grace growling. shit it better not be 😩 im scared of what’s behind that door and Anissa isn’t suited up like 🥴

🤣🤣 “i can hear someone in here” first of all … anissa… does it sound like whatever is in there human? like are you not hearing these growls? welll she didn’t see grace malfunctioning right in front of her so im actually not surprised but still 😩

“or at least i could” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 AKA im not leaving till you open the door.

we got tobias speaking to portraits, lala speaking to his … conscience..s? and now anissa talking through a door to whatever was growling.. i miss anyone?.. oh and jenn talking to her laptop. k.

OMGG HE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME HOW AGGRESSIVE HE OPENED THAT DOOR 😩 least it’s wasnt grace growling but if this is her brother errr.. relax.

he rude as hell.

“trouble will find you if you do not leave this place” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the delivery took me out.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😩 that fly. where did that damn fly just appear from 😩

anissa so damn persistent. im here for this.

OH MY GOD

is she fucking glitching while shape shifting?! 😩 like what is she?! 😩😩

chantal looks beautiful 😭 well ..in her true… form?…. or .. well when she looks like grace. that hair is giving me life.

soooooo anissa now has no choice but to show up as thunder to save her girl who actually doesnt need saving from anyone… but herself 😭

oh hey earl. but like bye earl. this part of the episode is just annoying now 🙄 long ass drawn out ass scenes.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but why earl look like a pokemon? snorlax to be exact.

jenn running in the lair excited for her suit 😭

THUNDER! LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO!

lol more growling. like is grace just chillin inside her apartment as a lion? seems like something she would do.

i really wanna know how bad it smells in there tho 😂

WAIT. NEVERMIND. is that like a dead deer?

like is she just casually roaming around freeland with dead animals on her back or is she also a flying dinosaur with a invisibility cloak….

OMG wait 😩 this can’t be. no. just. NO.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 grace as this damn man and this voice i just can’t. im not mature enough for this.

OH NO SHE DID NOT

they really bout to fight!

there better be at least one thunderclap 😤

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ okay jet li. i can’t take “him” serious. was that a knife hand? 😂

thunder using her ponytail as a weapon is next level extra 😂

fuck his ass up thunder!

shit.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 look right 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣🤦🏾‍♀️😩🤦🏾‍♀️ i just 😭 let me get this straight… you mean to tell me grace knew damn well that was anissa and instead of being like … “let’s go back to your place and talk about this horizontally in the nude preferably” she opted to beat the breaks off thunder then….turn …into a.. growling black animal with a tail?… and just… jumped… … out.. the …. window?… what type of shit is that 😩

like what kind of woman lover are you grace. it’s only one thing im doing if i found out my girlfriend was essentially the baddest motherfucker in the city… ima pounce on that ass and get to hunching 🤷🏾‍♀️

it’s like they’re set on making grace the next lolo jones and the queen of hide and seek. jesus. when will this end? im tied y’all. TIED. JUST TELL HER!!!

JENN 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

…. the fuck.

yeah this shits getting real weird.

this dude breath gotta smell like shit. baking biscuits in the corners of his mouth and shit 🤮 all that damn spit 😩

lol agent looking like everyone’s morning shit might’ve just played himself. whatcha gon do if they lied tho? how you gon find out who else they told now that you’ve killed them? i hope they were lying 😩😩😩😩

but all in all this episode was solid. too many long ass filler scenes with lala but whatever.

until next time…. i must end this with… grace being a useless bisexual and anissa being a useless lesbian match made in heaven 😍 i still can’t believe grace jumped out the damn window KNOWING it was anissa under the damn suit. smh that window deserved better.

WAYMENT… i just realized something…. anissas bout to be mad ass hell grace beat the shit out of her 😂😂 K N O W I N G L Y at that 😩 she did hold back tho… which may make anissa even madder 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

[smallcowplant]

Hi! Hi! I have a bit of a history challenge question/request for advice? :) I'm wondering if you have any ideas rn of how you're going to dress your sims for the colonial/western era (thats the era im on, for me theyre just one era together though)? Idk the difference between colonial/western clothes and industrial clothes? Any advice? Appreciated even if not! :)

Hey dude!

At this point, I'm honestly not too fussed about getting cc together for gen6 + gen7 bc I literally just realized that I accidentally deleted most (if not all) the cc I had downloaded for gen5.....I take file folders of cc out of my mods folder periodically to free up space in my game for other saves....rip. I'm currently just going thru the motions of not wanting to redownload everything.....while also losing all desire to open the game at all!! Lol!!

HOWEVER

I don't want to be a total loser and I'm gonna answer your question! Kinda!

*Disclaimer: Ya' girl is not about total....or even partial tbh....historical accuracy when it comes to my HC! I love history and historical fashion, but I mix-and-match cc from all over the web nine times out of ten!*

EDIT: THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH AND DOES NOT ANSWER UR QUESTION LOL I'M SORRY

When I think colonial, I think puritanical New England/Quakers, with their bonnets, heavy shift dresses, boots and a penchant for detestable behavior! Tricornes and waistcoats also seemed to be very popular among men.

It's a bit hard to find cc for any gen that is set in colonial America, bc these restrictive fashions were defined by LOTS of layers! Petticoats, aprons, and lots of chest coverage (bc god forbid anyone knew u had collarbones, u filthy harlot!!) Lots of historical cc, while gorgeous (I love you cc creators thank u for blessing me w/ur creations) favor rococo/southern belle-esque aesthetics (obviously, bc they're much more aesthetically pleasing than layers of gravy-colored fabric)

!! Which u can kind of get away with bc these styles actually WERE seen and worn in colonial America

Really, what it boiled down to was where you lived and how much money you had. (And mostly, who your dad was.) If you have, say, a wealthy family (of garbage people), their daughter might be bedecked in gorgeous frocks and day-dresses like those seen above. If you have a poorer family (of different, but ultimately probably still garbage people), you'd probably wear dull colored dresses and drooping bonnets (and hope that a bunch of your peers wouldn't rat u out to the nearest church as a witch to get some sweet sweet validation and attention in general)

@historicalsimslife, @javitrulovesims, @budgie2budgie have some beautiful pieces that I think you could definitely work into semi-colonial looks!

I would link directly to some of my faves of theirs, but I'm on mobile! (Also, if you just scroll through sssvitlans 'historical' tag, you'll find some good stuff too!)

When it comes to western cc, there's sadly not a TON of strictly cowboy-driven creators out there! There are some, don't get me wrong! If you go through sssvitlans 'western' tag, there's some real winners that I downloaded without a second thought!!

Before I get into some of my inspo for cc hunting, please know that a lot of our perception of cowboys/the wild west comes from Hollywood and spaghetti westerns! And even though young Clint Eastwood is an entire snack and a half

he is NOT what most cowpokes looked like (not gonna get into how many cowboys were decidedly not white or straight but for the record, most of them were neither white nor straight lol)

Here's some Looks that I'm all about and that I used as CC-hunting inspo

Think neckerchief's, leather, vests, and trousers. Oh, and suits. Clothes in the Wild West were not mass-produced---if you needed new duds you had to make your way to a tailor. That's why you might see historical photography/films show their cowboys in suit coats/vests/dress pants....it wasn't for the fashion! It was because they were buying everything second-hand! The fancier the clothes, the harder to sell (if your main source of consumers is a bunch of guys who work long hot days out in the desert)....thus, the resell prices were cheaper

As for women! If she's out in the West, she's going for comfort and the basics---I mean, as much as she can with the restrictive fashions and general cultural/gendered norms of the day

Think muted colors, long skirts, belts, buttoned or high-necked blouses! There can be some overlap here with early Victorian looks, but keep it simple!

As for the industrial age, I honestly just consider that gen of the HC to be ripe for overlapping all the beautiful Victorian/Edwardian CC that the likes of @historicalsimslife and @retro-pixels have blessed us with! Corseted gowns, high necklines and beautiful hats!

I mainly look for inspo in the films I watch and the books/articles I read! Pinterest is a great tool to inspire some creative thought when it comes to CC-hunting. You might find the perfect blouse/trousers in a completely modern CC post. It just takes a little bit of a journey!

If u want like....a Wild West inspired CC lookbook....I could do that! I've actually been considering it for a bit lol

[enochianghost]

some Change Your Mind thoughts:

yellow has a lot of bubbled gems in her room. im very curious who they all are and what their “crimes” are. will they be freed now that the diamonds are more open to imperfections?

along the same lines, when they gonna unbubble all them rose quartzes at The Zoo?? she wasn’t even actually a rose quartz i think it’s time to stop punishing all of them smh

so like when them yellow lasers that makes gems poof didnt effect steven at all i assumed that was because he’s half human but now after seeing blue survive it so well im wondering if him being a diamond has anything to do with it too

white’s ship’s face is so fucking terrifying i love it so much. that blank stare. nice.

what the FUCK are lapis and peridot wearing??? if there was any question of how gay they were before(there wasn’t) this certainly proves it. no straight person dressed so garbage and pulls it off so perfectly

peri’s stars tho!!! she finally got ‘em!!! 😍😍😍

and her flying around on a fucking trashcan lid absolutely iconic

i just wanna take a moment to appreciate how important connie is to the story. it would’ve been so easy to brush her off to the side and just make her the human love interest that spends all her time as a damsel in distress but honestly??? she’s right there as one of the main characters, fighting along side the gems and providing some top notch little speeches. she may not be a gem, but she is stevens rock. im love. 

blue using steven’s real name!!!!! and then yellow using steven’s real name!!!!!! hell yeah diamonds say “TRANS RIGHTS!”

so like we know how pink pearl turned all greyscale but like....how she crack her face like that?? i want answers!!

speaking of which them zombiegreyscaling everyone??? terrifyingly perfect choppy animation. it was so horrifying in the best way i loved it

the MUSIC, like especially that one scene when steven was falling trying to catch all the gems??? hell fucking yeah that’s some good music

FUSIONS so many FUSIONS

smokey quartz spittin puns immediately absolutely iconic

steven’s dance falling matched pearl’s style so perfectly im so proud of him!!

rainbow quartz 2.0 is mary poppins but also gave me doctor who vibes, which, like, so does mary poppins tbh so

steven doesn’t even dance to fuse with garnet, he just loves like really hard. need i say more?

the flame effect on their fusion light tho

i would die for sunstone they’re my favorite 90′s psa aimed at children

“unbelievable!” “oh you better believe it” “ok!” i love peri so much

all of their new forms look so great!! that grunge look on amethyst, that coolguy jacket on pearl, garnets new starshaped glasses and back to having more obvious separate pink and blue parts showing that saphire and ruby are both their own gems now but still choose to be together mmmmmm GOOD

GIANT LAVA WOMAN WHO MAKES GIANT LAVA SWORD OUT THEIR OWN MOUTH HELLLL YEEEEAAAAAAH they’re so spiderlike and pretty and could kill me in an instant im in love

connie’s new sword!! she get an upgrade too!! and more moving on from rose!! they’re a whole new crystal gems now and i love it!!!

peri getting to use her metal powers to save the day, partially by flying her trashcan lid, and also by catch bismuth!! nice!!! i love peri so much im sorry im biased

okay im just gonna say it. i KNEW we were eventually gonna see steven lose his gem. whether it got shattered or what i didn’t know but i was positive we would see it ever since eyeball ruby said she was gonna take it and steven stopped to say “what would even happen to me?” i don’t think they would put such a focus on that question without eventually answering it. this, however, was an absolutely brutal way for it to happen. i cringed and felt a little sick tbh when it happened

this split screen to show steven is aware of both himselves at once? nice. i like that.

i have mixed feelings about steven being just steven. of course it’s wonderful to know all of this is him. there’s no rose/pink somewhere deep under there controlling him somehow or something, but it also means she’s not there watching him. his mom really is gone for good. that’s...really sad idk. i always assumed some day steven’s human side would die and he would go back to being rose, or probably pink now that he had changed so much for her, but....i guess he’s just steven. and he’ll always be. i mean i guess it’s possible he’ll find a way to change again. maybe have a kid and be able to pass his gem on to them. who knows? it’s certainly interesting to think about rip rose/pink tho

like i know i already mentioned connie but...her carrying steven to himself....she really is so so important and needed by him

he turned white pink!!! ha!!

yellow and blue’s immediate disgust at white’s imperfection....wow...it says so much and i love it

“i’m suppose to make everything better!” “you can but first you’re gonna have to leave your own head” stay woke amiright

sadie singing greg’s song!! sadie has green hair(like me)!! she’s doing so well and im so happy for her

lars is home!!! LARS IS HOME!!!!!

he met lion!! they had a moment!!! 

he and sadie talked and acknowledged how good they are doing and they didn’t get some cheesy get-back-together bs!!! 

also he obviously talked about sadie a lot to the offcolors and that’s so cute

sadie and lars have matching eye scars

white diamond awkwardly trying to be a good person gives me life. this stage of reformed villains is what makes me love them so much. they try so hard and it’s so awkward in the most endearing way

the beetles are lesbians

i really hope we get to see all these healed gems in future season/the movie. i want to meet them, i want to see who they were besides their corrupted forms

garnet and pearl having a moment to cry after seeing all their friends healed <333

jasper being healed and having a moment with amethyst!!! yes!!! her little horns and leftover green spots!!!!! hell yeah!!!

the diamonds just peaced their way out to space!! just like “okay byyyyyyeeee”

this changed so much. i know there will be a movie, possibly more seasons, and im so excited to see where all this goes. this really is era 3

[oddgirlsummer]

all of the fruit asks :•)

first of all I LOVE U second of all thanks bitch!

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?

i have double ear piercings n i have my right nostril pierced, then i have a matching finger tat w my bff but i wanna get a Lot more

raspberry: favorite flower?

black orchid

lemon: do you have any pets? what are their names?

i have 3 cats!! kevin, olive, and iris

mango: what is your trademark?

i. don’t even know what that means hfjshdgd

passion fruit: how would you describe your style?

it varies every day but usually lik a basic version of a goth or grunge bitch

pineapple: sexual orientation?

bithexual methinks

strawberry: favorite desserts?

um…ice cream bc it’s cold i guess?

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

no i wish i could play drums or bass or guitar bc those are the sexiest

grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

probably like iceland or somewhere w a lot of cool natural attractions but it can’t be a Hot place

banana: favorite horror movies?

i watch so many horror movies i dont even think i could pick, i really like stanley kubrick movies but turns out he’s human garbage so 🤕

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

drama with an internal comedic monologue

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

wearing really sexie makeup while being h*gh

cantaloupe: what are your parents’ names?

jody and amy

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

????dark and dramatic hello

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

a vampire or basilisk 😏

plum: favorite clothing brands?

dolls kill and unif but i dont have unif $$ (if you have sugar baby money please hit my line i’m not joking pleaspleaoelskwase;please)

coconut: favorite perfume?

elizabeth & james- nirvana black

lychee: satin or lace?

mmmmmmsatin

blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

a furry

apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

tumblr which is 🤨 but if u use twitter you need help

kiwi: what’s something that fascinates you?

forensic psychology

watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

i am a barista please dont roast me.

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

this is lik….impossible to choose but maybe headsgiving by porches or black soap by ex-cops

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

night 🥰🌕🌙✨🌑

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?

internally 100% of the time but not externally a lot

orange: do you have long eyelashes?

not really they’re average i think

apricot: what do you do when you’re sad?

sometimes cry or do makeup or smoke we’d or watch something to distract

star fruit: favorite sea creature?

sirens (🥵😳) if we’re counting mythical, but sharks if we’re talking Real

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?

sometimes but not tht much bc i think im alcohol intolerant LOL

[yourdailydoseofinternet]

The Art of Playing Mobile Legends

Youre not playing the game right kung walang arte yung name mo sa mobile legends. You need to spice up your name kasi yung nalang yung controlled variable and all the other aspects of the game is pure RNG. 

Like the match making is garbage. Marami na nagrereklamo na minsan inilalagay ka kasama ng mga taong di mo naman kalevel ang galing which is a problem for most of the people na just playing for fun. Meron din na mga players na mag-AFK nalang or magleleave nalang basta which would ultimately cost you the game. Unfair right? Well hindi lang yan ang unfair. If solo player ka, theres a chance na you would be playing against a duo or trio which is pretty much unfair. Why wouldnt moontoon just seperate solos to the rest of the bunch, right? Well its moontoon.

You dont have to buy skins for the game. You can survive just being free to play. Hindi naman madamot ng konte si moontoon. Namimigay naman sila ng skin pero like i said, its all RNG. Bragging rights lang yun skin at may bonus lang na konte yung mga may skin.

About naman sa mga heroes na you should play, dapat simula palang malaman mo na yung play style mo. Its not enough na magaling ka lang sa iisa or dalawang hero. You need to be good at a certain role which in turn means that you need to be good at the heroes na nakapaloob sa role na yun. Grinding matches in Classic is a good way to practice a hero. For new players, i suggest that you use Miya, Layla, Zilong, Saber and Eudora. Those heroes are still viable kapag nasa high ranks ka na. Im currently playing on a smurf account and using Miya as my main at i can win most of my games just pushing ang farming.

So about sa ranking, you can actually skip Warrior rank if you make a new account. Mostly mapupunta ka agad sa Elte rank once you unlocked Rank Game. I could also say that the most toxic rank is not on the lower rank but yung mga nasa taas. Yeah mahirap na sa low rank for new players kasi either makaharap mo yung mga mayayabang na Smurf or makakampi mo yung mga kagaya mong bago lang din na magpapakamatay kapag di nasunod ang gusto nila. You can speed through Elite to GrandMaster real quick then a steady rate from GM to Epic and a slow crawl from Epic onwards. Why? Kasi andito na yung new wave ng toxicity for Epic and up. Maraming nagmamagaling, maraming magaling pero masyadong malaki ang ulo, meron paring mga AFK at higit sa lahat andito yung mga taong ang gusto lang sa buhay ay mang-inis ng iba. Tipong parang trabaho na nila yung galitin ka.

About sa events... Never ever miss an event. Kapag may nakita kang red dot sa screen mo, click mo agad. Tingnan mo kung anong meron don. Kalimitan may free stuff kang makukuha by clicking those red dots. Mostly trial cards, emblems or fragments makukuha mo but minsan makakakuha ka din ng free skins, emotes at marami pang iba.

Emblems and Builds. Now we are on the most juicy part of the game. Having the right emblem can really just win you the game. Malaki difference ng max emblem sa mga hindi max emblem. Why? If may kalaban kang hindi max emblem pero same hero as sayo, sino sa tingin mo mananalo? Its that simple. Its a must to upgrade your emblems to max as soon as possible. About naman sa builds, isang google lang or search sa youtube ay makakakuha ka na agad ng build for a certain hero. I suggest na you watch https://www.youtube.com/c/MastertheBasics videos kasi detailed yung mga guides nya for every hero in the game. Alam nyo ba natulungan din nya na manalo ang BlackList sa M3?

And so to tie it all up... Mobile Legends has become one of the new pambansang laro sa Pilipinas. Since the beginning, maraming players talaga ang in need of a game that they can play with just their mobile devices. Tanda ko pa nung kasagsagan ng DOTA at CrossFire, punong puno lagi ang mga computershop sa palibot ng university namin. Nowadays makikita mo nalang mga ML players sa mga kanto, bahay, classrooms etc etc. I wouldnt say the they did something revolutionary kasi maraming moba games ang nauna sa ML like Arena of Valor, Heroes Evolved and Vainglory just to name the few pero they dipped out of the lime light when ML came. I dont know din. ML just felt like something familiar to me kaya siguro nagustuhan ko din and after all these years nilalaro ko parin sya. Sa mga naglalaro nito, these things are already common knowledge sa inyo but sa mga iba na talagang hindi pa nakakatry, you should try it. Basta walang sisihan nalang kapag itinapon mo ang phone mo sa sobrang inis hahaha.