#i would have never thought to be in a similar situation years later

[candy-cloud-system]

Guess who’s back speaking their shit ! This guyyyyyy ! . Allow me to write a long ass paragraph explaining everything about why I am NOT going to take back what I said.

First off. Comparing anything I said in that paragraph to racism is wild. Not ONCE did I mention race, and it was a completely irrelevant and honestly just false comparison. Hating someone for being downright ableist is SO much different than being racist. And I can guarantee you, I will never hate anyone for their skin color or race. That is something they are born with, and cannot change. And the diversity of human beings is single handedly the most beautiful thing to me.

Now. A more accurate comparison, if you will, would be saying something along the lines of this: imagine you broke your leg because of someone else’s actions, and it causes you a lot of discomfort, pain, and changes the way you have to function. Often you get frustrated with things you’re unable to do the same as someone without a broken leg, or even get super angry at the person who was the cause of your broken leg, sometimes finding yourself daydreaming about how much better your current state would be if you hadn’t been around them or left the situation sooner. Now imagine the next day you see someone else with a cast on their leg, and you think “oh! Someone who may have a similar experience and understand my struggles!” Just for them to tell you their leg was never broken before and they simply “wanted” to have a broken leg.

Imagine the pure frustration that would give. All the thoughts of everything and all the pain and regret and rage you face daily now being mimicked by someone who woke up and decided to claim they had it simply because they wanted to. THATS what it’s like seeing an endo.

I will say this now. Plural means the exact same thing as a system. There is NO difference. There is no such thing as “systems have trauma, but if they say they’re just plural then they aren’t claiming to have a disorder!” Because that’s bullshit.

Endos cause a lot of harm to our communities, even if they aren’t aware. The misuse of terms and stealing of terms from cultural practices, invading our spaces sometimes with purpose to harm us, convincing actual systems their repressed trauma or even remembered trauma doesn’t exist or wasn’t bad, and wide spread misinformation highly effects people like me who have to live with the actual disorder.

I’ve seen a lot of systems (myself included) who are uncomfortable calling themselves plural. Although it is a correct, and sometimes more used in medical settings term for systems; the association of the word with endos who think slamming another label on themself justifies blatant ableism has made that term unbearably difficult to use on ourselves. I’ve seen the same with the words headmates, host, fictives, and other system terms.

“Tulpa Systems” are stealing a cultural term, AND misusing it at that. Tulpamancy is a term from Tibetan Buddhism. Original concepts of it found in the Buddhist Niramāņakāya, and later came into traditions of Mysticism. It is NOT when a 14 year old on tiktok decides they want a serious mental health condition and “creates an alter” for themself. Tulpas are part of a culture. And are spiritual practices.

Invading spaces that aren’t made for you can be very harmful. Even if unintentional or seemingly “harmless” those spaces are MADE for certain people. Those certain people need places they feel comfortable being themselves with other people like them. That’s very important. Something I’ll compare it to is this; I get very uncomfortable when an abled body person gets in the school elevator with me. The elevators at my school are made specifically for disabled individuals and those who cannot walk up stairs. It with the exception of escorts, when someone who is perfectly able bodied gets on, it creates a tension for me. They’re invading a space made for me and people like me, simply because they wanted to. I feel it’s unfair to me, because I’m not able to fit in comfortably in their spaces, I cannot walk up stairs with ease, yet they can, the elevator is a space where I can feel comfortable and capable with the abilities I have, and I feel very uncomfortable when that’s invaded by others. And it’s the same with system spaces. I’ve ranted to my friends countless times about how I never feel comfortable in the online system community. My spaces get invaded constantly by people who think they have a right to steal what should be a safe space for trauma survivors. I have grown accustomed to the reality that I will never have a space online that I will be completely safe from ableism in this community do to endos. Even in real life I have faced people in the eyes who faked my disorder just because they thought it was cool. They faked and copied my real struggles, lied about experiences and made me miserable. And I feel like i don’t even have to speak about the endos who come into spaces to harm us. We can all tell that’s fucked up.

CDDs are a trauma response. And something it does, and it’s whole point, is to hide your trauma. A lot of people with CDDs will not remember what happened. It’s what makes it so tricky to cope with and heal from. I’ve had a very close friend of mine ignore their plurality and not take steps to heal due to them being convinced they didn’t have trauma or wasn’t enough trauma and they were an endo. That is so incredibly harmful. I cannot stress that enough. Telling people they can have a CDD without trauma, even putting that option of being plural without trauma is SO harmful. Because young people who may realize they have a CDD and not be educated on them will brush it off as being an endo, spread that misinformation, and most dangerously; not be able to take the proper steps to heal. Lucky for me, I understood that it was a trauma related disorder, so I was able to get into therapy, get on medication to help myself combat my depression, and find coping skills that were healthy for me to work on growing and coping with my CDD and other disorders. Convincing someone their CDD isn’t serious, or that it’s not trauma related takes that away from them. It takes away the realization of the need to heal, it takes away the chance for them to cope with serious trauma. And it can even worsen it. People with trauma who categorize themself as endo or are categorized by others as endo may be even more effected, feeling like trauma is now a competition or that they aren’t enough to have a CDD that they may actually be struggling with and wanting help for. I hope you understand how harmful that is.

The spread of misinformation is WILD. One of the first things usually brought to me by my friends at school who don’t know much about DID is usually some misinformation they saw from an endo. And of course I don’t mind educating them properly at all, but it honestly hurts me a bit to see some of the crazy things I’ve seen them believe because of how much misinformation people spread on the internet about this disorder.

CDDs aren’t fun, they aren’t quirky. They’re serious trauma stemmed disorders formed to help someone survive. It’s not “having silly characters I like in my head”. It’s NEEDING them to keep you alive and as stable as possible when in horrible conditions whenever you are in the most vulnerable stage of your life.

Blah blah. Internet rant. Blah blah. I can already feel the comments calling me a loser and telling me to blow up or something 💀 like ima lowkey be mean for a sec but do y’all ever shut up? Learn to literally educate yourself instead of believing a 13 year old who wants the entire cast of Hazbin Hotel in their head cus they think it’s quirky (no shade to actual systems with hazbin alters)

Get ur ableist asses outta here fr 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭 making my life hell

Tw: syscourse ,

Endos DNI with this post.

Hot take; I shouldn’t have to be terrified to read / like posts. I should have to read the tags to make sure it’s not posted by an endo trying to infiltrate our spaces. I shouldn’t have to fear that the thing I’m gonna read is going to send me into a spiral because it’s gonna be some stupid ass shit about how “traumagenic systems are losers” or whatever the other stuff endos say about us is.

WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO HAVE AN ALTER WHO SITS OVER MY SHOULDER EVERY TIME I OPEN THIS APP THAT CAN PULL ME AWAY INCASE SOMETHING GETS BAD.

THAT SHOULD NOT BE A THING I, A TRAUMATIZED SYSTEM, SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT OR SILLY CONTENT TO CHEER ME UP REGARDING THE TRAUMA FORMED DISORDER THAT WILL FOREVER MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT.

“Endos don’t hurt anyone🥺🥺🥺”

yes they fucking do.

- Sharkbite

[jungkxook]

in disbelief about moonbin💔

[bacchuschucklefuck]

What about sorcerer Adaine? It'd keep the way her parents treated her consistent because of in that case they'd see her having the easy way of casting instead of studying to be a "proper" caster

this is a great idea!! the only reason why I'm not gonna pick it up is bc I've already locked down sorcerer for kristen haha

[yeoobiii]

hello, can I ask you to write a mini story about Heeseung, where he teaches Y/n how to kiss 🙏🏻

⋆｡°✩ 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙

꩜ bestfriend!heeseung x gn!reader

꩜ best friends to lovers (?), first kisses

꩜ during a game of truth or dare you admit to all your friends for the first time that you've never been kissed and that you're frankly scared you'll mess up once the situation presents itself. Heeseung sees a perfect opportinity to help you out with that.

or: Heeseung teaches his best friend how to kiss and both of you get a bit lost in it

wc: 5.1k (this has gotten a bit longer than I intended to but honestly I just went with the flow and here we are.)

warnings: consumption of alcohol

a/n: thank you for the request, anon! btw requests are open if you'd like me to write something specific, I can't promise you anything on how quickly I'll get it done or if it's something I'm up to writing but like the link is in my bio :)

I hope you like this, anon!

There’s a few things none of your college friends knew about you. Despite knowing most of them for over three years now, some things just never came up naturally in conversation. Like the fact that you’ve not had your first kiss yet.

Why make a big deal out of it? You’ve also never been in love before. You didn’t feel the urge to inform everyone about these things, especially since most of your friends have a rather active dating life. You wanted to do these things at your own pace and didn’t want anyone involved in how you could “solve that problem”. You simply never intended on telling them. That is until last weekend happened and somehow your roommates were able to convince you to participate in a game of truth or dare.

It was a Thursday night and your roommate told you that they were having a few friends over for a cozy hang out and you were definitely down to chill with them because the both of you were friends with similar people and got along great in general, so having a few drinks with your friends in your dorm room seemed like a nice way to spend the evening.

And everything went smoothly enough, people were trickling in and out, the overall vibe very casual and comfortable. That is however until your friend Sofia suggested a game of truth or dare. To be fair, the overall intake of alcohol increased as the evening was progressing. It was almost inevitable that a suggestion like that would arouse sooner or later.

Before you even properly thought about it, you agreed to play and sat down in a circle with around five other tipsy college students.

Only later on did your brain register that Heeseung was one of the few chosen ones. For a split second you even wondered when he had arrived, but then you remembered that he greeted you with a friendly embrace when he first arrived about half an hour ago.

Technically, there was nothing wrong with him participating in the same game, the both of you were friends after all.

You met Heeseung pretty much the first day college started, you were both in stats together and happened to be sitting next to each other on the first day and it’s been like that ever since. However, you guys didn’t hit it off right away, you were friendly with each other, sure, but that mostly also out of convenience and occasionally you shared your notes with each other or he was making sure you didn’t fall asleep in class. It was all really casual and you would have considered him more like a colleague than a friend.

That was the case until one particular night that was destined to shape the kind of friendship the two of you would have with each other forever.

It was one of your first frat parties, the first semester was about to end and freshmen with various kinds of majors gathered to celebrate this collective milestone. Safe to say the liquor was being poured without much hesitation.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve run into Heeseung at a frat party either. Usually you’d shoot each other the occasional nod, acknowledging the other’s presence and moving on with your night and that’s all there was to it.

However, fate had other plans for this particular night.

At one point you excused yourself from the dance floor and went out the back door into the small garden to catch some fresh air, to your surprise not many people were out there, just you and a small group of three people maybe, who seemed to be passing around a blunt.

It took you a second glance to not only see your roommate but also Heeseung being part of that group, your roommate immediately greeting you enthusiastically upon locking eyes with you and beckoning for you to sit with them.

Shortly after you were sitting on your ass, your roommate's arm interlocked with yours, being pulled into the conversation easily.

Heeseung sent a brief smile of acknowledgement your way, before taking a hit from the joint. You returned his smile and also greeted the fourth person sitting with you who was eventually introduced as Heeseung’s friend Jake.

The joint was being passed around and eventually landed in your hand as well and afterwards the conversation seemed to flow effortlessly. You joked and laughed along to whatever your company was saying but were also emerged in the more heated discussions.

At one point you were so deep into the conversation with Jake that you didn’t even realize your roommate getting up and going back inside and like ten minutes later, Jakes excused himself to the bathroom and didn’t seem to return anymore.

Which only left Heeseung and you.

Now, you’d be lying if you’d say being in such close proximity with a cute guy like Heeseung, all by yourselves in this somewhat intimate setting left you completely unaffected. You could feel yourself growing slightly flustered at nothing in particular, but you eventually catched yourself when Heeseung asked.

“So, what’s your favorite dinosaur?”

You fell into comfortable conversation after that and the longer the night went on, the more intense the topics got.

Whenever you think back to that one particular part of the evening it kinda feels like Heeseung and you were the only two things existing at the moment. Your brain didn’t register the people stepping in and out of the garden as the hours passed by. 

It was well past 3am when you checked your phone for the time since sitting down. You told Heeseung and he was just as shocked as you were at how quickly the time had passed, almost apologizing for taking up so much of your time, but you assured him you were enjoying yourself.

“It has been a while since I sat down like that and was able to talk to someone for hours about whatever popped into my head.” You admitted to him and he seemed satisfied with that judging by the smile that graced his lips.

“Me too.”

And you could swear by the way his eyes shimmered in that moment that there was something – whatever that may have been – between the both of you. Or maybe it was just the weed.

Regardless of what you guys shared was something different than what you thought it might have been, you grew close very quickly after that evening. Heeseung started to joke around with you in class, you eventually asked him for his number and social media, he started sending you memes occasionally, you started to hang out outside of class in your little friend group.

At one point you were convinced he was actively seeking you out at parties, because ever since that evening, you always bumped into each other sooner or later during the night.

And whatever there might have been that one evening, nothing came of it. However, it almost seemed like you grew closer to Heeseung than all your other friends. People in your friend group would casually call you best friends and the more time passed the more that statement became true.

All occurrences in the past have led you to playing truth or dare on a Thursday night on the floor of your dorm room with each other. And usually that wouldn’t be an issue. Heeseung and you have progressed to a stage in your friendship where you knew almost everything about each other; almost.

You could feel the alcohol running in your system and were sincerely hoping you wouldn’t say something that you’d eventually regret. You just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best.

For the most part the game did run smoothly, it was fun and you had a good time, the only dare you had to do was show them your most embarrassing dance move.

That is until your roommate asked you truth or dare.

“Truth” you chose this time

“What was your first kiss like and who was it with?”

The question in and of itself was harmless, it matched the vibe of the very easy going game they had going on, Nonetheless, you felt put on the spot and before you could stop yourself – because you can’t pull off a lie for the life of you – you blurt out that you’ve never been kissed.

None of your friends seemed super unfazed by this seeing how you’ve not dated one person since you started college but Sofia’s eyes grew double in size.

“Not even a peck on the lips or something?” she questioned a bit bewildered.

You just shook your head, seeing from the corner of your eye how your roommate gave Sofia a light nudge at even asking such a question.

You couldn’t help but risk a short glance at Heeseung and were almost a bit startled when his eyes met yours instantly. He sent you a soft smile upon locking eyes with you. Was that pity you saw in his eyes? Your stomach turned itself upside down.

You really wish you could say it didn’t bother you at all, that at the age of 21 you’ve never kissed someone before. You didn’t want it to be a big deal, it really shouldn’t be a big deal.

But you couldn’t help but think that you lacked something or were one step behind everyone. It felt like missing out on an experience that usually people have in their late teens and early twenties.

You don’t know why it hasn’t happened for you yet. It’s not even that you want it to be with someone really special, the moment has simply never presented itself before and you usually take this for what it is, but right now – Heeseung’s expression burned into your skull – you suddenly feel a bit small.

“It’s not just that” you eventually start to break the silence, not yet realizing that you were about to make this so much worse, “it’s also the fact that even if I’d want to kiss someone, I wouldn’t know how.”

It took your drunken mind a hot minute to catch up with what you just said. Something within you simply wanted to fill the silence but the fact that your filter was basically non-existent due to your tipsy state was not taken into consideration the moment you opened your mouth.

You mentally slapped yourself across the face, this time not having the courage to even glance into Heeseung’s direction.

“It’s not that hard, I can show you!” Your roommate offered enthusiastically, intentions pure.

Your face flushed at the suggestion and you cringed a bit, more out of embarrassment that you ended up in this situation in the first place than by the proposal itself.

“I’ll let you know if I ever want to take you up on that suggestion.” You reply as nonchalantly as you can muster.

It’s not like the thought of asking a friend how to properly kiss has occurred to you before, but you could never quite bring yourself to get the request past your lips.

Your friends laugh at your response and easily move on with the conversation, taking the attention off of you. And that was that. Or at least that’s what you thought…

Two weeks later you enter the lecture hall and already spot Heeseung sitting in his usual spot and just like on autopilot you placed yourself next to him and the both of you exchanged greetings, just like you usually would. You’d also catch up about your weekends and shortly after the lecture started, taking up both of your attention.

It wasn’t until halfway through the lecture that Heeseung poked your shoulder, extending his notebook to you, clearly wanting to show you something.

With blue ink he has written on the page:

“You want me to teach you?”

Your eyebrows furrow, confused at what he meant.

You write down below him:

“Teach me what?” Confusion clear on your face as you watch him write something else.

“How to kiss”

You choked on your own spit.

Heeseung chuckled next to you. You could smack him across the head right now and you made a mental note to do just that once class is over.

Once you collected yourself, you took the pen from Heeseung and wrote three question marks under his proposal.

Why would he offer to teach you in the first place and out of all the places to suggest this to you he chose the middle of your lecture? Why?

He grinned at your question marks and if you didn’t know him any better you thought he was making fun of you. Had any other person done this to you, you’d probably actually have been hurt but first of all you still didn’t know if he was serious and second of all it was Heeseung. You knew him well enough to know he’d never use such a situation to make fun of you.

At that moment the professor seemed to notice your lack of attention and decided to ask you a question directly, returning your attention to the lecture where it stayed until you were dismissed.

The topic didn’t arise again between Heeseung and you even though the whole scenario didn’t seem to be able to leave your mind. At lunch you stared at Heesung making conversation with Jake over something you did not pay attention to, trying to figure him out.

In your head the puzzle pieces were just not fitting. Why would he suggest that all of a sudden? And why was it so hard for you to find an answer to his question…

After the whole frat party thing where you originally became friends, you had developed a small crush on Heeseung that gradually developed as time went by. It’s just after some time had passed and neither of you made any advances towards the other you eventually abandoned the idea of getting with Heeseung and were left with two options, getting over your crush or having to live with your unrequited feelings.

You chose the first option. It took you quite some time but you managed to accept the fact that Heeseung was simply a really good friend and your feelings faded as seasons changed.

You’d be lying saying they ever went away completely. There’s no reason denying that Heeseung was painfully your type and that no matter how hard you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t like him like that anymore, you were attracted to him.

So, saying his suggestion to teach you how to kiss took you by surprise was the understatement of the century.

He probably just tried to be a good friend, right? Your roommate had suggested to teach you as well back then and there were no other intentions behind that, you were certain of that. So, why are you questioning Heeseung so much?

The topic didn’t come up again until one day you were hanging out in your dorm room. Just your roommate, Heeseung and yourself. It was often like that, sometimes Jake was also around but today it was just the three of you, that is at least until your roommate told you that they were heading out for dinner at around six and didn’t know when they’d be back.

Once they left, it was just Heeseung and you left.

Ever since he made his suggestion in class, you dreaded being alone with him, because you didn’t know if the topic would come up again or if you even wanted it to.

Heeseung was lying on your bed, his feet resting on your lap, while you were sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the wall. Heeseung was scrolling through his phone when you decided to address the elephant in the room, because you figured if he wasn’t the one to bring it up, why shouldn’t you?

“Were you serious?” you simply said, not in any particular tone, just wanting to clear the haze in your head.

“Do you mean about the kissing thing?” He said without looking away from his face. The fact that he instantly knew what you were talking about indicated enough that he was aware it’s been eating at you.

You nod.

He locked his phone and threw it to the side, moving to sit up and also lean his back against the wall so that he can face you.

“I was and I still am.” He said, no trace of irony to be found.

“Why?” You couldn’t help but ask.

He shrugged his shoulders, “It seemed like it bothered you that day. You know, when you told everyone how you’re scared you’d mess up if it comes down to the real thing?”

He teased at you being so open due to liquid courage, a small smile forming on his face as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I was put on the spot and that was the only thing my brain provided at the moment to fill the silence.” You whine more frustrated with yourself than anyone else.

“So, you’re not worried about that?” He asked in return.

It was silent for a moment as you contemplated his question. You could easily dig yourself a way out of this by denying it, convincing him it was mainly the liquor talking. But you and Heeseung were never really the type to lie to each other.

“I am” you eventually admit, not meeting his eyes “I don’t know… It’s a bit silly but like I don’t know anyone my age who hasn’t been kissed before and I feel like it’s gonna be really awkward if the situation arises and I chicken out because I have no idea how to actually kiss someone.”

Heeseung listened to you and took your words in before answering.

“But you know, most first kisses are kinda awkward, I think.”

“Was your first kiss weird at all?” You asked him.

“Yeah, very.” He chuckled, sitting up more on the bed, “it was kinda too much of everything, too much teeth, too much spit, just entirely too much.”

He shuddered a bit, recollecting his first kiss.

“See? And I’d have no idea about any of that.” You said almost a bit frustrated.

“Then let me show you.” He insisted, your eyes meeting.

The way he says it so casually makes you want to rip your hair out.

“It’s just a kiss, right? And it’s me! You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.” He said, eyebrows slightly raised, trying to ease your mind.

You look at him. He looks cozy in his oversized sweatshirt, his body language his usual relaxed self. It was still a bit fascinating how he could take this all so lightly but then again, it really was just a kiss for him.

And you know you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t kiss Heeseung. In fact, your head is screaming at you not to kiss him, because the risk of buried feelings resurfacing is simply too big. But you’d also be lying to yourself if you’d say you weren’t curious what his lips would feel like against yours and it were thoughts like this that’d mean certain doom for you sooner or later.

At your silence Heeseung added “Look, there’s really no pressure at all. I just thought maybe you’d like to know a few things that will help ease your mind, but of course you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

And of course he would say that. Of course he’d go out of his way to reassure you that you’re safe with him and that he respected your choice no matter what. Maybe sharing your first kiss with Heeseung wasn’t that bad of an idea after all. At least like that you could make sure it’s someone who respects you and your boundaries, someone who makes sure you feel safe and comfortable no matter what.

Maybe you could allow yourself this. Maybe having this as the memory of your first kiss wasn’t too bad.

“Like, right now?” You asked, which seemed to surprise Heeseung a little. He must have been convinced you’d turn him down.

“I mean, whenever is fine.” He responded suddenly you could see his cool demeanor crack, spotting a few hints of nervousness behind the cracks.

“I think, I’d be down.” You eventually say after contemplating for another minute.

“Really?” Heeseung’s eyebrows were almost at his hairline.

“Lee Heeseung, if you tell me right now that all of this has been a sick joke of yours after all, I’m ending this friendship right now.”

Panic flashed in his eyes.

“No! No, of course not. I was being serious. I just didn’t think…. I didn’t think you’d agree.” he admitted.

“So, how does this work?” you ask, not knowing where to even start.

“Oh, so you really want to do it right now, I see.” Heeseung mumbled more to himself than anyone in particular.

He scooted slightly closer to you.

“Well, first we gotta get closer.” He moves to sit next to you on the bed, shoulders touching.

You watch him, fascinated at how quickly his shyness has been replaced by his cool, nonchalant demeanours once again.

Heeseung and you have cuddled on more than one occasion before, but this feels different, you’re hyper aware of the place where his shoulder is bumping into yours and your tights are touching. This close, you could smell his cologne and shampoo.

“It’s not that complicated really” he starts explaining.

“If you want to just have a small, simple kiss. We’d both tilt our heads slightly as we get closer. Let me show you.”

He turns towards you, his eyes meeting yours. And you could swear there it was again. That shimmer from the first night the both of you actually talked to each other. You push that thought to the back of your head, the indications behind that too overwhelming for what’s about to happen right now.

His hand hovers above your cheek and you nod, allowing him to gently grab you by the jaw and tilt your head into one direction. The distance between his and your face shrinks as he does so, the pace of your heartbeat picking up in the process.

You could feel his breath against your lips as he spoke again.

“This is usually the point most people close their eyes and then you just… kiss.”

You close your eyes and a moment later you felt the sensation of Heeseung’s lips softly pressing against yours. All thoughts seem to leave your head the instant your lips touched, your heart basically beating out of your chest. It took you a moment to actually process the sensation and just as you were about to lose yourself in the feeling, Heeseung pulled back slightly.

“You know, this is the part where you kiss me back.” He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine and maybe it was all in your head but you could swear his voice sounded different then just a second ago; a bit deeper, maybe even a bit flustered.

“My bad” you said, making Heeseung throw his head back with laughter, making you giggle as well.

It eases your anxiety a bit that even in stations like this, you were able to just laugh with him and easing the tension so easily.

“No worries” he laughed “Wanna try again?”

Again?

What did he mean again? Wasn’t that it?

Despite yourself, you nod.

“Okay, this time make sure to reciprocate the pressure I put against your lips, got it?”

“Got it” you kept your replies fairly short, afraid your voice would fail you otherwise.

Before you knew it, Heeseung was leaning in again.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

You close your eyes and soon after you feel the now familiar pressure of his lips again, this time making sure to kiss him back. Without thinking about it, your hand found its way onto Heeseung’s neck, where your fingers absentmindedly played with hair as you were kissing him.

This kiss lasted longer than the first one, you could feel Heeseung moving against you and followed his lead. It was easier to flow into the rhythm than you’d have thought, his lips soft and gentle against yours.

You were starting to feel lightheaded as he pulled away again and you had to resist the urge to chase after his lips.

“That was pretty good” he said, slightly out of breath, his pupils slightly dilated, his gaze fixed on your lips before he looked up at you.

“Also the thing you did with your hand, it seems like you’re a natural.” He chucked.

That’s when you saw your hand still resting against his neck, you instantly pulled it away once your brain caught up to what he was saying.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize…”

For a second there was a silence between the both of you; a silence that wasn’t quiet at all. You couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of him and neither could he. You could probably cut the tension with a knife.

“And what if… what if I’d want it to get more intense, you know?”

Heeseung’s eyebrows shot up.

“More intense?” He said, knowing very well what you were implying.

“I get how just kissing someone on the lips like that might not be that hard but what if– what if it goes further?”

Heeseung cleared his throat at your words and sat up straighter.

“You mean, if you would want to deepen the kiss?” He inquired.

You just nod, looking up at him, not failing to notice the light blush that’s starting to form on his cheeks, matching your own flusteredness.

“You want me to show you as well?”

You nod. Something about how his lips feel against yours was addictive, making you throw all your previous reservations out of the window.

“It’s kinda hard to explain though. I’d just have to show you?” He said, a bit unsure.

“That’s okay.”

“Okay so, basically you start with a kiss just like we shared before. You’ll just have to let me lead, okay?”

Something about the way he said that sent a shiver down your spine, words refusing to leave your mouth so you just nod.

Soon enough, his lips were on yours again and even though you were only separated for a few minutes, you already started to miss the sensation and the tingle it made you feel in your stomach and chest. Naturally, your hand found its way back into his hair.

Suddenly, you felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip and your heart took a leap. Instinctively, you opened your mouth for him. A few moments pass and he starts licking gently into your mouth.

You actively have to suppress sounds that were starting to build in the back of your throat at the sensation.

You could also feel one of his hands pressing against your waist while the other one was busy cupping your cheek.

Without much thinking you pressed forward, wanting to match his eagerness, which led to your teeth clinking against each other to which Heeseung pulled back slightly, chuckling.

“Take it slow, yeah?” He said, his face still incredibly close to yours.

As you nod at his remark he dives back in, taking you by surprise a bit. You were welcoming the touch of lips nonetheless.

This time you tried to dial down your eagerness and gently let his tongue guide yours, your insides turning into mush in the process.

Without thinking you slightly pulled at his hair, making him hum against your lips. 

He must like that? you think to yourself. 

Your stomach did a 360 at the thought of stirring him on further.

At this point your tongues were dancing with each other gently, no trance of any kind of hesitation left, the feeling leaving your head dizzy and your heart fluttering.

The way Heeseung kept pulling you in by your jaw and how his grip on your hip was getting tighter.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.” He suddenly blurts out in between kisses and if you wouldn’t be so lost in the feeling of his lips on yours you’d stop to question his statement, but right now your heart simply leaped in your chest.

Overcome by a sudden wave of braveness, you swung one of your legs across his lap, straddling him. Heeseung looked at you starstruck, his hands instantly finding their way to your hips caressing them.

You took the time to look at him for a moment, his pupils were practically blown out and he looked so pretty with kiss swollen lips, glistering with both of your spit.

This was the first time you initiated the kiss, he easily reciprocated.

The kisses were sometimes still a bit sloppy but neither you nor Heeseung seemed to care, too lost in the feeling of each other’s bodies pressed against each other.

His hands were traveling up your sides and down your tights again and you were drowning in this feeling, of his hands touching you; exploring you. Soon enough, him trying to teach you how to kiss turned into a full on make out session.

That was until your roommate burst into the room without any announcement, making you jump off of Heeseung in an instant, cursing your body for immediately missing his closeness.

You both looked guilty and flustered as your roommate looked the both of you up and down.

“My bad, I’m just here to grab my charger. Continue with what you’ve been doing. It was only a matter of time until this happened anyway.”

They said and were gone as quickly as they had arrived.

You and Heeseung looked at each other for a second. Both of you burst into laughter shortly after.

“I think at some point we should really have a conversation about what exactly this is between us.” He gestured between the both of you after recovering from the sudden interruption.

And you were glad he brought it up because you think your heart would have been shattered into a hundred pieces if this didn’t have the same effect on him as it had on you; making your stomach flutter, turning your insides into mush, craving more.

“Better sooner than later, right?” you smile at him, hope filling your heart.

feel free to let me know your thoughts <3

[singstaircase]

Come What May - LH, Social Media AU

Summary: Their relationship has always been an interesting one. Fifteen years together, break up before one of their lives' most significant events, gold medal, a ring– and the rest is, as they say, history.

okay so bear with me on this. In this universe, Motorsports is an Olympic sport and we can figure out how it would work later but for now– 1) road race is your normal race, 2) there's going to be an event called Time Trial, similar to cycling and 3) Team Pursuit is a team event.

This is my first time doing something like this, I hope you enjoy!

Shock Split?! British MotorSporting Power Couple Call It Quits After 15 Years Ahead of Olympics Showdown

In an unexpected twist that has left fans and insiders confused, Britain's beloved sporting duo, Lewis Hamilton and [Name], have reportedly ended their 15-year relationship just months before they are set to compete together in the upcoming Olympics.

The couple, known for their remarkable chemistry both on and off the field, have been a fixture in the British sports scene.

Sources close to the pair reveal that the split has been brewing for some time...(read more)

Press Conference [Update] Silverstone, 16 June

Due to unforseen circumstances, Lewis Hamilton and [Name] will do separate interviews at 19:20.

(Name)_GB

Liked by teamgb, georgerussell63 and 966,419 others

(Name_GB) First time in the Olympics!!! Hoping to make everyone proud.

View all comments

pattyVAX no mention of Lewis. It's so over.

sunsetseb65 Not even a single pic either, they usually have pictures together in every situation.

f1gossip

Liked by gridgossip and 11,892 others

f1gossip First 'public appearance' of (Name) and Lewis Hamilton outside of their work since the alleged break up at the first round match of Rafael Nadal.

Notably, both came separately and sat away from each other 👀.

View all comments

A exclusive clip from Paris 2024 Podcast 02.08.2024– Hosted by Cristina Lindemann

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CL: So, we have to talk about the elephant in the room if you will.

N: The break up? (Laughs)

CL: Only if want to though!

N: No, don't worry about. (Clears throat) Yes, it's true, we ended our relationship at the beginning of June.

We thought about a lot of things– our future, career and thought this was the best decision for now.

We ended on a good note so please don't go harass Lewis. But, um that's what happened. Maybe it'll change in the future, who knows. (Laughs)

gridgossip

Liked by f1gossip and 2,741 others

gridgossip [Name] ditches ex-boyfriend and teammate to watch fellow brits Louise Brown and Oliver Bearman. Looking very happy while doing so.

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HollandTRasH Did you expect them to look angry or sad while watching her compatriots?

Kimipublicist Oh it's so over. It's never been more over.

bellaISdead are they even gonna do the final together or?

British Duo to Withdrawal Because of Relationship Drama?

....Our sources informed that they former couple, along with their team and TeamGB representatives held a 'crisis meeting' last night to discuss about the Team Pursuit Final and possible withdrawal from the event. (read more)

WATCH: (Name) confirms participation in the final amid withdrawal fear

British driver (Name) confirms plan to participate in Team Pursuit Final of the very first edition of Motorsports in Summer Olympic games.

They refused to comment on the alleged crisis meeting and the hand-shaking incident.

Olympic TV 2 hours ago

Team Pursuit Final | MotorSport (Open-wheel Track) | Olympic Games Paris 2024

(Name)’s hand doesn't leave Lewis’. It remains locked together, even at the podium as they wait for their medals.

They swing their hands together in excitement as the Dutch team receives their medals. Lewis can't help but smile at this, a glimmer of what they used to have still visible in his eyes.

“Ready?” Lewis asks as the announcer starts to announce them in French. (Name) turns to him and nods.

“–Great Britain!” (Name) and Lewis jump onto the podium together as the sounds of the excitement of the crowd fills the track.

Their locked hands remain a constant, even as they're waving at the excited crowd.

For the photo, Lewis, ever the showman, lifts (Name) into his arms. She lets out a surprised laugh, wrapping her arms around his neck for support.

Cameras flash, capturing the moment and for a fleeting instant, it feels like nothing changed.

The national anthem begins to play. As the familiar words fill the air, (Name) feels a lump form in her throat. The culmination of years of hard work and sacrifice, hit her all at once. Tears well up in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

Lewis notices immediately. He gently takes her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He leans in close. "Hey, it's okay,” he says, his voice soft and warm, “We did it. We made it."

(Name) nods, biting her lip to keep from crying.

The anthem continues, and she found herself leaning into Lewis' comforting presence. Despite everything, they are still here for each other, just as they always been. And that's enough for now.

As the final notes of the anthem fade away, the camera moves from the flags to where (Name) and Lewis are standing; holding hands and basking in the glow of their victory.

🏎️ nighttimeday Follow

(Name) and Hamilton Win Olympic🥇

About their relationship

(Name): “That’s our personal lives you don’t need to know that”

Hamilton: “So this is top secret. Top secret.”

(Name): “We like it when you are confused!”

Hamilton: “Exactly. That’s how we feel powerful.”

🎥: IOC

#yeah they are definitely back together #paris olympics 2024 #motorsports

(5,198 notes)

(Name_GB)

Liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 2,971,123 others

(Name_GB) Thank you for this and more, partner 💕

View all 10,788 comments

lewishamilton ❤️

usergayce yep, they are back together

pattyVAX WE ARE SO BACK

f1gossip • 2 hours ago

lewishamilton & (Name_GB) • 15 minutes ago

This was inspired by Katerina Siniakova and Tomas Machac and whatever the hell happened between them.

[jjkamochoso]

How do you think jjk men would court their crush? Feel free to add anyone you want but I would love to read about Choso.

OMG SO CUTE!!!! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it <3

JJK Men Courting Their Crush

A/n: okay so for this, I chose to depict most situations as their first time doing a certain courting activity with you so they’re a lil nervous and haven’t made their crush on you explicitly clear🫣 I hope that’s alright and makes sense!! And I can do a part 2 of them doing the same courtship things but with a confession, just lmk if that’s something you guys want🫶 please enjoy below!!

JJK men x gn!reader

Warnings: none

Yuji: cooking for you

“So, y/n, what do you think?”

Yuji was standing over you as you took a bite of the dish he made. Nervous energy was radiating off of him. He didn’t have much experience in the romance department but knew that usually the quickest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. He wanted to treat you to some of his favorite dishes as a way to show you that you mean a great deal to him and hopefully get to know you better over a good meal. He had prepped in the school’s kitchen all day after spending hours trying to decide which entrees you’d like the best. He thought back to the times you all went out to eat in the city and what you ordered, then thought about what recipes he knew that were similar. As he was cooking, he hoped you liked what he made enough to where he could eventually do it for you every night.

As soon as it hit your tongue, you felt the warmth of the lovingly cooked food spread through your body. You could tell he spent lots of time on this for you and you were extremely flattered that he would go out of his way to do something like this for you.

“Yuji, it’s absolutely divine. I haven’t had something this yummy in years.”

Yuji put a hand on the back of his neck, sheepish from your compliments.

“I’m really glad you liked it. I have some more recipes that I’ve been meaning to try out and you would be the perfect taste tester if you’re up for doing this often.”

Your eyes lit up. “That would be amazing! But are you sure you wouldn’t mind cooking for me that much?”

“Of course,” he said earnestly, “it’d be tons of fun. Besides, I really like hanging out with you.”

And I really like being the cause of your adorable smile! he wanted to say, but decided to save those words for another time. Chatting and laughing with you was enough for now—maybe he’d cook up enough confidence one day to tell you how he really feels about you.

Megumi: making you playlists

Megumi couldn’t stop fidgeting as he waited for you to meet up with him before class. You had mentioned that you wanted new songs to listen to so when you asked him for recommendations, he took the collecting of songs very seriously. He was never good with his words so maybe you’d get the hint that he had a crush on you from some of the songs he chose. He heard your steps coming down the hall and it was like he forgot how to stand and breathe like a normal human being. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied a stray rock lying on the ground to look busy.

“Hey Megumi!” you greeted, making him jump slightly. He mumbled out a “hello” and immediately dug into his backpack, a CD emerging from its inky depths.

“Well, I, uh-I didn’t know if you used Spotify or YouTube or something else but I know you mentioned having a CD player so… yeah. Here.”

He thrusted the CD into your hands without meeting your eyes. The plastic case held a disc that said “Y/n’s Playlist” in sharpie.

“Thank you so much!” you said, inspecting it, “I’ll give this a listen after class. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me.”

“It’s nothing,” replied Megumi, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh wait, I won’t know the song names or artists when I listen to this. Wanna come over later and help me make a track list?”

Megumi felt his face burn up with a blush. “Y-yeah. That, uh, sounds great.”

He’d definitely have to make you more playlists and keep forgetting to include that pertinent information!

Yuta: complimenting you nonstop

“Y/n! I like your shirt!”

“Y/n! Great fighting form!”

“That joke was hilarious, you’re so funny, y/n!”

These were things you were used to hearing when you were around Yuta. He was always showering you with compliments, not that you were complaining. He had a major crush on you and wanted to start letting you know that he saw, appreciated, and admired you without revealing his full feelings for now. You and your classmates were training on the field and Yuta was your sparring partner.

“Wow, you really pinned me down quick! That was amazing,” Yuta said as you extended a hand to help him up.

“You’re always so sweet, thank you,” you replied. “You were really good, though, too! I’m sure you’ll get me next time. You’re super strong.”

Yuta felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was superb at giving compliments but horrible at receiving them.

“Geez, that, umm… it means a-a lot coming from you because you’re so great. Thank you.”

“Please, I’m not that cool! You’re awesome as well,” you told him.

“Yeah, but not as awesome as you!”

It seemed that you two were stuck in a never ending cycle of compliments. After a few more rounds of back and forth, you agreed that you were both cool and strong and whatever other positives you could think of. Yuta left the field in high spirits, thinking of all the creative ways he could tell you how cute you were the next time he saw you.

Inumaki: giving you flowers

Toge stood, clippers in hand, eyeing the flowers in front of him with an intensity rarely seen from the blonde. He was trying to decide on which flowers to cut to make you a bouquet. Taking flowers for personal purposes would normally be extremely frowned upon but he was the plant caretaker and figured he could get away with snipping a few here and there. He thought back to all of your previous conversations, wracking his brain for any moments you might have mentioned a favorite all those times you walked here together. He remembered you’d said you liked them all so he really couldn’t choose wrong. When he made up his mind and clipped his picks, he smiled under his pulled up collar. He walked over to your dorm, an extra pep in his step.

“Toge! Hi!” you greeted kindly as you opened your door. His collar was now pulled down and you felt your heart swell at seeing his cursed marks curled in a happy expression. You were afraid you were about to get pranked when you saw he had his hands behind his back, but your fears were quelled when he presented you with a small bouquet of flowers.

“These are for me?” you asked, surprised.

He shook his head. “Salmon.”

“You’re the best! Thank you!”

You grabbed him into a hug, careful not to crush the flowers. He’d keep bringing you bouquets until either you got the hint that he liked you as more than a friend or he got the courage to write out his feelings.

Noritoshi: writing you letters

It was hard to make friends at the Kyoto school since your classmates were always so on edge about letting people get close, but you and Noritoshi had somehow bypassed that fear and your acquaintance turned into something deeper over the years. Unfortunately for Noritoshi, his feelings now dove even deeper than that, finding himself in the throes of a crush. Unsure of what to do, he’d tried ignoring the nagging feelings in heart every time you spoke to each other, but it never work. After much introspection and consideration, he determined that it would be wise to see if you felt the same. If you did, great. If you didn’t, he’d be released from the constant “what if’s” running through his mind. As he started putting pen to paper, he felt his confidence falter. Who pours their feelings into a letter instead of speaking face to face? Is that cowardly? He changed gears; this letter wouldn’t be of romantic intent, per se, but just of a way to get to know you better and show you he cares about what you think, how you feel, and whatever else he managed to write before his fingers failed him. When he nervously slipped the sealed paper under your dorm door a few days later, he anxiously awaited to see when you would mention it in your face to face conversation with him—you didn’t.

Imagine his surprise when he was greeted with his own letter hours later! You had expressed your delight in his letter and wanted to keep him as a consistent pen pal for the near future. Noritoshi’s hands grasped your letter, fingers tracing your words. With this new open view of each other’s hearts, your private conversations safe from prying ears, he yearned for the day he could tell you the truth of his heart before it was spilled in ink.

Todo: carrying/lifting things for you

Aoi knew you were more than capable of handling things yourself but he wanted to show you that he’d be your perfect, strong protector so he’d always offer to carry whatever you were holding, no matter how big or small. At school? He’d carry your books. Grocery shopping together? He’d lift all the heavy items in and out of the cart. Need to move your car but you’re too lazy to get up? Consider it done—he just picked it up and moved it. He hoped that by continuing to show up for you like this, you’d see how much he really likes you. Of course, he wouldn’t be afraid of speaking to you about his crush on you, but he would rather go out of his way to impress you first before stating his obvious attraction to you.

“Y/n! Let me get that for you!”

Your dorm room door was propped open and Aoi had shown up, seemingly out of nowhere, when you were struggling to move some furniture around in your room. He lifted the couch with ease and shot you an award winning grin and wink.

“Just tell me where you want it.”

You pointed to a spot near the window and he put the couch down gracefully, barely making a sound.

“Anything else I can help with?” he asked eagerly. He’d rearrange the layout of the entire school if you asked him to—anything to make you happy!

Gojo: buying you gifts

Satoru was not the type to outright tell someone he had a crush on them. You know, the whole “love is the greatest curse of all” thing? He’d much rather ignore those feelings in hopes of them disappearing. So when he found himself fawning over you nonstop, he didn’t know the right way to convey his desire to connect with you on a deeper level. He might’ve been running on empty in regard to romantic skills, but his bank account was severely overflowing. He began to take mental notes on everything you looked at and put back while in Tokyo during your shopping trips and visited those places to buy all of it on his own.

“I got this for you.”

Satoru had several bags by their handles that he gently nudged toward you. Confused, you opened them, greeted by multiple items that you had taken notice of but didn’t have the funds to purchase. You didn’t remember Satoru even being there when you were browsing them in the first place.

“Satoru, how did you-”

“I pay attention more than people think,” he shrugged, glad to have his blindfold covering his eyes so you couldn’t see how they softened when they met yours.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” you said, trying not to cry tears of happiness.

He chuckled. “I know. You deserve nice things, though. If you can’t treat yourself, then allow me to.”

He was glad he turned infinity off to feel your arms wrap around his in a tight hug. Even if the words evaded him at the moment, he’d be sure to keep showing how much he cares for you by giving you things to remember him by.

Geto: taking you to the farmer’s market

“Come, y/n, I have a fun morning planned for us.”

Suguru had texted you and invited you to the local farmer’s market. You, of course, accepted readily, and now that he was here to pick you up, he was starting to feel a little nervous. Your friendship was a wonderful thing but Suguru craved to get to know you better and see if you shared the same romantic affections he was feeling toward you. He figured that going somewhere low key like a farmer’s market would be great to cultivate easy conversations. As you two walked together, admiring the handiwork of the local artists, you shivered from a cold breeze that kicked up. Suguru was quick to remove his outer layer and drape it over your shoulders.

“Oh, Suguru, I don’t want you to get cold.”

“I’m alright, I promise. I’d rather be a little chilly than see you freeze on my behalf. May I buy you a warm drink as well?”

After that, you were nice and toasty and he glad he could help in any way he could. When the market was closed and you two walked back home, you decided to make a visit here an every week occurrence. Suguru was sure that in a few weeks’ time, he’d prove to you that he’d be a great partner.

Nanami: cooking with you

Kento wasn’t sure how to approach the topic of his romantic feelings toward you. He valued straightforward communication, but he couldn’t find it within himself to outright express his desires for romance right now. Instead, he opted to show you he cared by inviting you over to cook a meal together. He had asked you to pick a recipe and went shopping for all the ingredients. Now that you were finally over at his place, he felt his palms getting sweaty as saw you chopping vegetables, looking extremely cute while doing so. You gave him a sweet smile when you noticed him staring and he quickly looked away, a blush apparent on his cheeks. You dropped the veggies into the hot pan and he started cooking them. You two worked well together, never in each other’s ways and able to partake in conversation while keeping the task at hand. When dinner was ready, you were ecstatic that everything tasted delicious.

“Is it alright if I ask you to join me again sometime soon?” Kento asked.

“I would love nothing more,” you replied sweetly, his stomach now teeming with butterflies.

Choso: stargazing with you

Choso had zero experience with any type of romantic love. He was the expert in familial loyalty, a prime example of being a great big brother, but being a boyfriend? Not his forte. However, his desire to woo you outweighed his nerves so that’s what led him to call you and tell you to meet him outside one night. He read online that looking at the stars is a good way to induce romance and he was determined to prove to you that he’d be a worthy partner. You were taken aback when you saw he had set up blankets on the ground and put out picnic baskets of snacks. He had even wrapped you up in another blanket so you didn’t get cold! Once you were settled, you both chatted about anything and everything as you gazed at the wonders of the night sky.

“Choso! A shooting star, quick, make a wish!”

It was quiet for some time.

“What’d you wish for?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“I’m not supposed to say or else it won’t come true,” you teased, nudging his arm. “What about you?”

He was studying the sky before he looked back at you. “I wished to keep having the privilege of sitting here with you as many days as I can.”

You felt yourself go shy at his confession but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. After that, you had plans in place to meet up again in a few days to do it all over. Choso was hoping that his next wish would also come true—that he’d be confident enough to bring the true feelings of his heart to light.

Toji: inviting you to local music shows

There was nothing better to Toji than a cheap activity, an attractive person by his side, and the promise of alcohol. That’s what led him to extend an invitation to you to join him at a small concert being held by a band you both liked. When you met him outside the run down venue, Toji felt his heart rate pick up as he saw how good you looked. His calm and collected demeanor didn’t change a bit, though, as he lazily threw an arm over your shoulder and walked with you inside.

“This place is super cool, Toji,” you said, taking in your surroundings.

He smirked. “I knew you’d like it. Wanna get something to drink?”

Toji wasn’t known for having tons of money but he liked you enough to pay for the first round of your drinks. As the band finished setting up their equipment and started playing their first song, you had a blast dancing along while he kept stealing glances at you between sips of his drink, relieved that you were having fun. You were able to convince him to dance with you after a few more drinks (not that the drinks affected his decision making—he just couldn’t deny a request from someone as hot as you). As the night wound down and he walked you home, he felt an excitement spark in his heart that he hadn’t known in a long time. He hoped that one day he’d stop being a coward and tell you he really liked you, but for now, he’d be content just holding you in his arms—and definitely keeping an eye out for flyers with information for the next show.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Main Masterlist

Series:

Oh, Baby (dad!Jake Seresin): You might not have been his girlfriend, but when you left town one night a month after sleeping together, it completely broke Jake’s heart. Now, a year later, you’ve returned and you’re not alone. You have a new little companion that just so happens to bear a startling resemblance to Jake.

The One I Want (Jake Seresin x Plus Size!Reader): You're new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.

Signed Away (Arranged Marriage AU): You find out about the contractual marriage your parents arranged with Jake’s when you were a baby. You’re plenty angered by it, but Jake doesn’t seem too bothered. He might even be happy.

Stolen Angel (Angel/Demon AU): You thought you were having a one-night stand with some random, normal guy. Turns out he's a winged, demon-like stalker who has been obsessed with you for years.

One shots:

Forgetting: Jake forgets to pick you up at the airport because of his ex, and for the first time, you think maybe you and Jake aren't mean to be.

Can’t Let You Go: When you and Jake broke up, it hurt both of you more than you could handle. Now, after three months of barely seeing or speaking to one another, Jake walks in on the surprise of seeing you in a wedding dress, and it brings past memories and ruined dreams to the surface.

Rather Be with You: Jake has been away for six months and he just hopes you waited for him.

It’s oh so Quiet: you are in a bad relationship, and you just want to be with Jake.

Just a Little Weak:  You are Penny’s new bartender and she warns you to stay away from one particular pilot, so you do your very best to please your boss. It is only when Penny goes out of town for the summer, leaving you in charge of the bar, that the pilot finally makes his move, and you finally give in. 18+

Touch and Go: You and Jake had been sleeping together for months, and as sure as you were of your feelings for him, you were unsure of his for you. He, however, certainly knew how he felt about you, and after you decide to go on a long trip without telling him, he lets you know just exactly what’s on his mind. 18+

Lazy Mornings and Whatnot: After coming home from his last mission, Jake doesn’t want you to leave the bed and will do what he has to if it means insuring that you’ll stay, which leads to fluffy conversations.

Jealousy Game: You do a little experiment to try to make Jake jealous and it works, with unexpected consequences that change the way you thought the night would go. 18+

Jealous Jake and the Biting Problem; Jealous Jake and the Other Sleepover Buddy: You and Jake have a friends-with-benefits situation, but when he finds bite marks on you from another guy, he doesn’t handle it well. 

Split: You break up with Jake because his actions make you question everything you’ve had between you, but he wants you to take him back. 

A First and a Second: It’s soft Dad!Hangman from start to finish. And cute marriage stuff.

Wanting it all: Hangman ends up in the hospital from a very similar Phoenix/Bob/birds situation, and you suddenly regret keeping a big secret from him.  

Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts: You and Jake had a history of flirting and occasionally kissing if too much time was spent at the bar, but it never went any further than that. One night, after showing up at your house and passing out on your couch, Jake wakes up the next morning only to learn he had drunkenly confessed his feelings for you.

Alive: After you get into an accident, Jake has a hard time coping with how close he was to losing you.

More Than What We Are: You and Jake are friends with benefits, and you have one rule: No feelings! Jake decides that rule doesn’t work for him anymore. 18+

Less Misery, More Company: Jake has feelings for you but you don’t believe it, so you play a little trick to get back at him for all of his flirtatious teasing. But that little trick fails miserably, and as the weight of your mistake settles in, you realize you owe him an explanation, one that requires you to admit some things you’ve long denied.

Back for More: Jake up and left you without explanation right before a mission. Now he’s returned wanting you back, but you want that explanation before you’ll be willing to let go of the pain and heartbreak from his sudden departure a month prior. 

Scrapes and Bruises:  When Rooster and Hangman get into a fight over you. Basically, Rooster is not thrilled about your relationship with Hangman, and their issues with one another bring up some fears of your own.

A Mission of Another Kind:Jake is assigned to a mission he did not think he would have to take part in, despite training for it with everyone else. Considering its high level of danger, you had been happy he hadn’t volunteered for it, until he came to your house one morning to tell you he had been assigned and would be leaving within the hour.

Drabbles:

He Doesn’t - Jake doesn’t do relationships...right?

Early - Jake’s a sweet boyfriend when reader gets her period.

Jake helps his drunk girlfriend

His Princess

“The bed is cold without you here”

Perfect for me, Baby - Jake is there for you when you have body-image concerns. 

Get Me Through - Jake helps you through the death of a loved one. 

[sinsirellaxx]

Ok, I got an idea. So the slytherin boys left us cus we're pregnant then bla bla bla, a few years later lets say that we became famous & we are not ashamed that we have a kid out of wedlock so of course the kid also gets to bask in the fame so we get in newspapers, tvs, billboards, etc., so now the boys feel haunted & realize their mistake after seeing how well we've been since their abandonment. They also got sad at the thought not seeing their kid grow up & imagine our struggle raising them. (this can be for all or 1 character & its totally fine if you don't do this idea)

Slytherin Boys – Reacting to you getting pregnant pt. 2

Warning: Toxic boys alert! Not proofread. Mention of miscarriage/blood etc.

A/N: I got so many requests on this one – some entailing a more angsty approach and some similar to your request. I heard you and I combined the different approaches. Hope y’all enjoy!

BTW: My requests are closed because I'm drowning in asks and I cannot keep up. 🙈 I'll open them as soon as possible!

Mattheo …

… regretted being so cruel to you after having thought about the situation for a few days.

… hadn’t seen you since that day and grew worried – he must have really hurt you.

… went to look for you after a few days but he was met with an empty room.

… later found out that you had to be rushed to the hospital because you had refused to go to the hospital-wing. Your parents had to pick you up.

… immediately rushed to you when he saw you in the Great Hall after a whole month – you looked pale. Before Mattheo could say anything, you walked past him, your shoulders hunched and your eyes downcast. You looked devastated.

… realized that you must have lost the baby and guilt settled deep in his stomach. He had ruined you.

Theodore …

… was shocked to hear you had left the school for uncertain reasons. No one knew – except for him.

… was pissed that you had left – he just hoped that your mistake would not come back to bite him in his ass.

… regrets the way he acted towards you years after graduation, having finally grown up made him realize what he had lost.

… never stopped looking for you after graduation, he felt horrible for his past actions, and he hoped you had not gone through with his wish to abort his child.

… stumbles upon a little girl with beautiful green eyes one day, her light brown curls shimmering in the sunlight. The child was lost, looking for her mother with tears rolling down her chubby cheeks.

… tells the girl he will help her find her mother and picks her up, to help the child look over the crowd of people. His chest felt tight as he thought of all the what-ifs. Would it have been a girl was well?

… tenses up when he hears the worried wail of a woman, shouting for him to stop. Theodore whips around, the little girl in his arms crying out happily as she reached for her mother. And there you were, with your arms outstretched and your teary eyes focused on the little girl.

… stares at you with big eyes, his lips parted as he took in the sight in front of him. He finally found you.

Lorenzo …

…grows impatient when you hadn’t returned to him after a few days. You must have made your choice – a choice he didn’t like.

… missed you the moment you had walked out of his room, and he was scared you’d completely walk out of his life as well.

… can’t bear the thought of losing you, so he caved in and rushed to you – begging you to talk to him.

… immediately apologizes the moment you two were alone. Enzo tells you that he loves you and that he will support you no matter what – that he will be there for you and your child. He struggles to say the last part, stuttering slightly – stumbling over his words when realization hits him full force. He’s going to be a father.

Will you forgive him?

Draco …

… stares at the newspaper with wide eyes, his fingers tightening around the paper, crumpling it in the process.

…blinks a few times as he rereads the headline again and again. You were a famous best-selling author in the muggle-world. And you looked stunning. Draco’s eyes are drawn to the article about you … and your life as a single mom with your young son. His son. He had a son.

… feels horrible – he was glad you were doing well but he felt like the biggest dimwit for everything he has put you through.

… is scolded by his mother when she reads the newspaper. She wasn’t stupid – she had been able to put one and one together. She wanted him to man up and reach out to you.

… is nervous when he finally stands in front of your door. He felt stupid; with flowers in his hand and a present for his son under his arm – as if any gift would be enough to make everything right again. Taking in a deep breath he finally managed to ring the bell, nervously waiting for you to open the door.

Blaise …

… wants to scream and cry when he sees your – his – daughter in your arms. He is left speechless, lost in those dark innocent orbs. His fingers twitch at his side – desperate to reach out and hug his little girl. She was undoubtedly his.

… felt so stupid for everything he had said to you, and he was so grateful for your strong will.

… looks from your child to you, closing and opening his mouth as if wanting to say something – and he did but he just couldn’t.

… finally blurts out a please when you try to walk away, his hand reaching out for you and your daughter.

Tom …

… had not expected you to be so stubborn. You were refusing to abort the child, rushing out of his room when his temper got the best of him.

… rushed after you – he wasn’t done talking and he sure as hell wouldn’t let you act recklessly.

… grabbed your wrist at the top of the stairs, pulling you back as he tried to reason with you. You were so annoying.

… gripped your shoulders harshly, forcing you to look at him as he practically growled at you.

… shook you by your shoulders out of anger – you were truly testing his patience. You suddenly tried to free yourself from his grip, taking a step back to gain some distance until your foot was met by emptiness. Your eyes widened as you tried to cling onto your boyfriend, but your fingers slipped, and you tumbled down the stairs.

… stared at your unmoving body with wide eyes, your arm was twisted in a weird way.

… immediately rushed down the stairs, pulling out his wand to heal you only to stop in his steps when he noticed the blood dripping from between your thighs.

[xetlynn]

Twilight Imagines- Benjamin

First Sight

[Masterlist]

Requested by: @twilightlover2007

Summary: in where the Cullens are getting multiple covens together to help them convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not a danger Benjamin spots [Name] and is immediately enamored by her. Even with her two year old daughter. Also finding out they have similar abilities.

I sit in the living room with Bella and Edward as we watch Renesmee play with Athaliah. I cross my arms, holding myself. "How do you feel?" Edward asks me suddenly and I turn to him. "Read my mind." I roll my eyes, he scoffs out a laugh. "I'm asking so you can let it out."

He responds, I look back to the girls. "Yeah, we haven't talked much since you found out about her." Bella chimes into the conversation. I frown for a second.

"It's a weird situation, I don't really know how I feel." I tell them in all honesty. One second Renesmee was a newborn and seconds later she was months old and now she's physically 4 years old.

"I just wish we didn't have to deal with the Volturi. Once again." I hold my head in my hands. Last time we dealt with them was when I turned into a vampire, Athatliah was only 16 months old. They were worried that I would turn Athaliah.

We had to convince them I wouldn't go near her until I had control over my thirst and she wouldn't know anything about us until she was the age of turning or if anything I would fake my death and she'd never see us again. It's something I don't even want to consider. It's something I have 16 years until I have to truly think about. The Volturi believed us when Aro looked into Edward's mind along with mine. Also with the fact that my ability was strong, I would put up a fight. They didn't need any of their men dead.

"I wish that woman just talked to us before running straight to the Volturi. She's also going to get killed." I lift my head back up. Renesmee takes Athaliah over to us and they both smile. I pick up my daughter, placing her on my lap. Edward doing the same with his daughter.

"All right, lovely, it's time for a nap." I stand up. "I'll meet you guys outside." I tell my two best friends before walking upstairs. They have a crib that was originally for Renesmee in Edward's old room. I place Athaliah down. I could tell she was tired so when she started crying I knew it was only for a few minutes.

The first year of her life I cried almost every time she cried. I couldn't handle it. My mom was a huge help since Athaliah's dad left in the beginning of my pregnancy. His parents moved to a whole different state so he didn't have to be a father to our baby. I grieved the relationship in the beginning. I don't really care anymore.

Bella was the only friend I've had ever since giving birth. Other people judged right away. Not Bella. She sometimes would babysit for me if I had to work and no daycare. My mom would pay her as well. Edward then started to help with her. Then he bonded with Athaliah as well. They both became an aunt and uncle to my daughter. I am forever grateful for them.

When her cries stop I snap out of my thoughts. Quietly slipping out of the room. I go downstairs and join everyone outside. Bella and Edward showing the new vampires renesmee's gift. I look off into the distance to see Carlisle and Esme coming our way with three new people. They're from the Egyptian Coven, they drink human blood. I lock eyes with the younger looking man. His eyes were a dark red. They felt entrancing. I couldn't look away. That was until Rosalie comes up to me.

"Could you help me with something?" She asks in a quiet tone, I furrow my eyebrows but nod my head. Following after her. Feeling eyes watch me the entire time. The blonde leads me back into the house where Zafrina, Kachiri, and Senna were standing in our way. "These ladies are from the Amazon coven. They wanted to meet you." Rosalie speaks softly, I place a hand on my chest, confused on why they would want to speak to me. "They've heard of your ability." Emmett tells me, I let out a little 'oh' standing straighter.

"Zafrina likes meeting people similar to her. Having incredible gifts." Kachiri informs me. "What's your gift?" I tilt my head, intrigued. The quiet woman smiles slightly, staring at me. Focusing on something and then suddenly I'm not in the house anymore. I'm back outside. But not our outside. A different place. A place I've never seen before. It was gorgeous.

Then I'm back in the house and I stare at her with wide eyes. "That... was amazing." I tell her, utterly in shock. She grins back to me. "We'd like to see your ability." Kachiri says, I make a face, turning to Rosalie and Emmett who nod their heads for me to do it. "We'd uh, we would have to go outside." I lead the way outside, in front of the porch. The three from the Amazon Coven stand on the porch with Rosalie, Emmett was standing in the door frame.

I smile to them as the cloud above us gets darker than earlier. Their expressions are confused until I bring my arms in the air and it starts raining. It was sprinkling at first then thunder struck. I felt the others crowd around me. I then make it storm. Everyone getting soaked. And then suddenly it stops as I stop focusing on the sky. I take a deep breath. The others begin to clap.

"That's just a tiny bit of what she can do." Emmett roars out, I nod my head sheepishly. "How did you find that out?" One of the Denali sisters ask me. "When I turned, the pain caused a storm. The wind was strong. The weather was insane that night. Later on when I wasn't paying attention and every time I had a huge emotion, a storm began every time. It's a lot easier to control now." I smile as I then make it begin to snow. Renesmee runs up to me with a huge smile. I pick her up so she can play with the snowflakes.

"This is a powerful ability... The Volturi would have no chance against us." Garrett laughs beside Kate who has a tiny smirk on her face. "You could deflect my electricity and make it more powerful." She tells me, lifting one of her hands to show me the electricity coming out of it.

Then everyone begins to talk to one another about it. I place Renesmee down, she holds my hand though instead of running off. I listen outside of the others to see if Athaliah has woken up but her breathing is still slowed. I can tell she's about to wake up. Her naps aren't very long lately.

A person walks up to me, startling me. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." It was the younger looking man from the Egyptian Coven. I wave a hand. "It's alright, I was trying to make sure my daughter was still sleeping." I sigh out, looking down to my niece who was staring up at the man.

"Your daughter?" He asks, looking around. "Her name's Athaliah." I tell him, we begin to walk inside the house, Renesmee sticking by my side because I think she knows we're going to see my girl. "Beautiful name." He compliments, I quietly thank him. His looks are entrancing I can barely focus on what is being said.

It goes silent between us until Renesmee speaks up in a small sweet tone. "He can make tornados, smaller than yours though." I smile down at her. "Really?"

I've only created a tornado once and right as it formed we made it disappear. That was before Renesmee was born though. Of course Emmett told her about it though. "Our gifts are incredibly similar." He tells me. Before he can say anything else though I hear my daughter begin to stir. Her tiny whines sounding out to down here. "Oh, I have to go, I'll be back." I step up the first couple of steps. He stands there, I can tell her wishes to say something though.

Renesmee was already running to the bedroom though. "What's your name?" I ask him.

"Benjamin." He says. I smile. "Beautiful name." I then head up the stairs.

Renesmee is playing with Athaliah through the bars of the crib. I smile, heading over to them and picking up my daughter. "Let's go play downstairs." Renesmee says, taking my hand once again and dragging me back down. Benjamin was still standing there just as he was before I left.

I was glad to be honest. I was hoping he waited for me. "This is Athaliah, Athaliah, meet Benjamin." I bounce her on my hip, pointing to the beautiful man. She tiredly looks to him.

Then suddenly doing grabby hands at him for him to take her. I furrow my eyebrows. It usually takes her a minute to get used to new people. He sticks his hand out, letting her grab onto it. It wasn't enough though she lunges her body forward so he could take her out of my arms. I laugh. "Sorry, you don't have to-"

"I don't mind as long as you don't." He puts his hands out and I shrug my shoulders, handing her over to him. Renesmee watches, a little bit annoyed until Edward comes in and tells her to go with him somewhere. I watch as my daughter puts his face into her hands. I then wondered if that was a good idea looking at his eyes which were red. Meaning he eats humans.

I bit my lip. He looks over to me and I think he can sense my worry. He gives me a short smile and places Athaliah down. She walks back to me, hugging my legs. She's still waking up.

Later in the night Bella and I were getting the girls to sleep. Athaliah sprawled out, her arm going over Renesmee's torso. She's holding onto her hand. I look up to see Bella looking at someone. I trace where. It was Benjamin who was sitting beside Jacob. He was staring at me though. "He seems enamored by you." She whispers, careful not to wake the kids. I snort out a laugh. "Yeah, okay. He wants a single mom." I joke, rolling my eyes.

"I mean the whole time he's been here he's been staring at you. He keeps trying to talk with you and he's brought you up to us every chance he gets. Asking about your ability." She informs me and I give her a look. "Yeah, he's interested in my ability. Not me." I sit up straight, crossing my legs.

"You're so oblivious, [Name]." She comments, sitting up as well. We eventually get up listening to Vladimir and Stefan talk about how they despise the Volturi and why. They were characters, that was for sure.

I sit down by the fire, a log was already there but no one else was there. They all went to different areas of the woods. I stared at the flames wondering how tomorrow was going to go. Someone sat beside me but neither of us spoke. I didn't even move my head to see.

"[Name]." The person speaks up after moments of silence. I hum out in response. "I uh I've never been left this speechless before. I don't know what to say around you." It was Benjamin, I smile to myself before turning to face him. "I'm boring, I apologize." I say, now just observing his features and I wonder what he was like as a human. If he was always this perfect.

"No, you're not at all. You make me nervous. It's a feeling I don't think I've ever experienced." His eyes lock with mine and I badly want to look away. But I can't. I'm stuck in place. "When did you turn?" I slightly change the subject. "1815." My eyes widen to his answer. He begins to laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, that was rude." I rub my hands together, finally looking away due to embarrassment.

"I expected it, when did you turn?"

"Last year."

"A newborn practically and you're that in control of your ability?" He seemed to be surprised.

"I couldn't control my ability completely until maybe six years after turning." He then ignites fire from his pointer finger. "You control the elements?" I ask in amazement. "And you control the weather." He states.

"Our abilities are incredibly similar." I laugh, excited. Watching the flames on his finger tip before he closes his fist and it goes away.

For hours we talk about our abilities, about his life before turning. I do the same. Telling him a bit about Athaliah. It never felt like a bad subject bringing her up like it usually does with men.

He actually asks about her and that's where I feel he doesn't want to be with me but to be friends.

"Your daughter truly has your looks." We both look to my sleeping daughter who is still sprawled out. I smile. "Thank you. She's my everything." I tell him.

"I can tell."

"I'm interested in getting to know you more." Benjamin says, this time he cautiously takes my hand into his. Making sure I was okay with it before gripping a little tighter. "What do you want to know?" I nervously ask.

"No, I mean courting you. You being mine, me being yours." He explains, I scrunch my nose before saying. "it might be forward, I know this. But you, seeing you, talking to you today. It only makes me want to be yours more."

"What about Athaliah, she comes with, we're a package deal. I'm a single mother. She's human, you eat off... humans." I take my hand back, now giving him a serious expression. It feels crazy but I feel the same way. I feel so strongly for him and I can't lose it but I also have to put my child first.

"I'll love her as my own. I'll eat animals for you both. I'll learn." He assures me, I pause for a moment.

"This feels crazy." I laugh out. "But I'll give it a try. I'm interested in getting to know you more." Even though we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow I don't care. I deserve to be happy even for a little bit.

——————

I almost deleted this whole thing after finishing it.

Heart was racing. Almost cried.

If you want to request anything lmk!

[penelopepine]

Elephant in the Room Pt. 2

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: John and you hooked up after a night at the bar. You two after that never saw each other again. At least until 12 years later when Price discovers that 9 months after your time together you had given birth to not one baby, but two. Word Count: 2218 Content: angst, violence against kid, kidnapping

The only thing Price had planned today was to organize some files and catch up with paperwork. All of that was thrown out the door though when he received a message from Laswell stating that she was on her way, and that he needed to prepare a conference room right away.

It didn't take a genius to tell that whatever was going on was some kind of emergency. A big enough emergency that the rest of the team was not privy to know about. 

Just as he was getting settled in the room the door was being thrown open.

"John." Laswell momentarily greets him before heading straight to the front and getting her laptop connected to the projector. "Take a seat; you'll need it." 

The screen is turned on as he does as she says and the first thing he sees is a young boy tied to a chair with his head down. The wall behind him is nothing but cracked stones.

Upon seeing this everyone is much more serious now. They don't know who this child is, but it must be someone important for them to be the ones dealing with this situation. Price doesn't have much time to linger on that thought because just as quickly Laswell has clicked play on the video.

A man steps into frame, his face covered, behind the kid before grabbing his hair, and yanking his face up towards the camera.

That is when the boy's face finally becomes visible to everyone in the room. It's a face Price is all too familiar with because in any other circumstance he would have thought he was being shown a picture of himself as a kid. This is not any other circumstance though, and there is a child on screen that looks eerily like him. 

"Captain Price, I have to admit you did a good job, but you must have known you couldn't have hidden your son forever." The man brings his other hand up, and gives the boy a hard pat on the cheek, "Go ahead, tell your father how he failed." 

"Please," he softly sniffles, "I don't know who you're talking about. I've never met my father; you have the wrong kid." 

"I tire of your lies kid," with a growl the man shoves the boy's head back down. "Now Price, If you want to see your son alive again you'll do as we say."

As much as Price wants to continue listening he can't help but drown out all of the sounds around him. That's … his son?

No.

No, that can't be because he doesn't have a son. 

His heart pounds in his chest as he thinks about the possibility of this kid being his son, and what he is currently going through. It's hard to deny the similarity between the two of them. Either this is his doppelganger or … this is his son.

“Name." He demands from Laswell. Knowing her, she has already done all the research she could on her way here. 

"His name is Andrew." Laswell is now sitting opposite of him as she hands him three folders. He knows instantly that these folders contain every piece of information about his … son. What Laswell does next though is what really confirms everything in his mind. She says your name, asks if he knows you, and that is all he needs to know that this really is his child. 

Price doesn't answer, he simply nods, and holds the folders tight in his hands. He goes to open the first one, but Laswell stops him before he can. "John, take these and read through them in your office. They have a lot of information, and some of it is only going to upset you further. Take some time for yourself looking over it while I gather the rest of the boys, and explain to them our next steps."

“What are the next steps?”

“I’ll go over all that only after you read what’s in those,” She points at the papers in his hand, “I imagine you’re going to have a few more questions after, and those can be discussed when planning on what to do.” 

With a final nod he stands up, and carefully holds the folder with both hands as he walks back to his office. Price locks the door behind him before sitting down at his desk. Hesitating for only a second before finally opening the file on top. 

The first thing he sees is a picture of Andrew, who is smiling brightly at the camera. It’s a stark contrast to the video of him half scared to death. 

He'll make sure that his son gets back alive.

Looking at the other papers he sees that Andrew is a football player, seems like he's been playing for years now. What makes him pause though is when he finds a copy of the birth certificate. Very carefully taking in all the information; his son is currently 12 and weighed 5.8 pounds at birth.

Price felt all air leave his body though when he saw the middle name listed. It was his name; John. 

That had to mean something right? 

He refused to think anymore on that thought though, and pulled out the next file. He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to find, but coming face to face with a picture of a 12 year girl wasn’t it. Amelia is the name written under the photo. 

It feels as if a rock has settled in his gut looking at her, and thinking about what this means. The first thing he looks for is if there is a birth certificate within the papers. When he finds it the birth day listed confirms his thoughts.

He has 12 year old twins, and he only learned about their existence less than an hour ago. 

With shaky hands Price flips through the rest of the paper, and what he finds is photo after photo of Amelia at what looks like school science fairs throughout the years. 

Closing Amelia's folder a few minutes later he reaches for the last one. He stares at it for several seconds before opening it up. That is when he sees you; he can’t help, but think that you look just as beautiful as you did all those years ago, if not more so.  

His heart broke though when looking through everything. Pictures of you pregnant, in the hospital holding two babies, and then with two toddlers hanging off of you. Price watched as the two of them grew up with each photo. 

It wasn’t until he reached the last photo did he finally break down. The photo looks to have been taken fairly recently, and he couldn’t help but think about what his life could have been like if he had just talked to you before leaving. At the very least leave you with a phone number to contact him later with. Price had been selfish though, and left you with nothing; not even a last name. 

He couldn’t even imagine what you must be going through right now. 

Instantly Price steeled himself with that thought. The son that you’ve raised for 12 years is now in the hands of terrorists, and here he is feeling bad for himself about a situation he caused.  He stands, grabbing the folders as well, with a new found strength and walks out of his office back to where Laswell is with the rest of the team. If he tucked that last photo into his pocket then that was only for him to know. 

He gives a single knock on the meeting door before barging inside directing his gaze towards Laswell, "What's the plan?"

"John, glad you could join us. I was just finishing up explaining everything to the team."

"They know about all three?" Briefly raising up the files before taking a seat.

"They do."

Looking around at his men he sees that both Soap and Gaz show sadness on their faces. Ghost on the other hand looks as he normally does. "Good, we don't need to waste time discussing that any further then. Let's focus on how we're going to get Andrew back safe and sound to his mother and sister." 

“I’m glad you mentioned them actually because that is our next step.” Laswell clicks something on her laptop and the projector changes to show a photo of you and Amelia. “We need to retrieve these two, and get them on base right away. They already have one hostage, we don't need them getting anymore.” 

As much as Price wished that he could just leave you alone, he knew that Laswell was right. They already thought Andrew and him knew each other; what’s stopping them from getting you two to threaten him as well. “When are we picking them up?”

“Right after we’re done here. I’ll send you the address now.” Laswell picks up her phone and in a second Price feels his own phone vibrate, “Tell them to pack the necessities; I’m arranging for them to be put up in one of the on base houses.” 

Gaz is the first to ask her a question, “I assume a missing child report has already been filed with the police. Aren't they going to be concerned when the rest of the family disappears?” 

“The local police are going to be notified later today. We don’t need them interfering with us protecting this family.”

“What about the lad though; what’s the plan for him?” Soap urgently asks. 

She turns to face Soap, “I have a team looking into the video sent right now. Their demands are being followed as of now. As soon as we get a location you four are going to be sent out to retrieve him. Any other questions?” 

Price knew that each and every one of these lads had a question; it just wasn’t Laswell who they wanted to ask. Ghost’s long staring gaze for example hasn’t left him once during this entire conversation, and he knew he’d be hearing something from the man later on. 

Gaz kept glancing in his direction with looks filled with pity. Soap on the other hand was portraying nothing but anger. The sargeant’s shoulders were obviously tense, and he kept flexing his hands. 

Not wanting to sit in the awkward silence any longer Laswell is quick to send them off. 

It’s luckily only an hour and a half drive to your home. At the same time though it makes his chest tight thinking that this entire time you and the kids have been so close. 

Silently they all followed him out of the room, and into the parking lot. Ghost and Soap went to one vehicle while Gaz hopped in the passenger seat of his. It only takes a few minutes into the drive for the quiet to be broken. 

“Cap, if you want to talk-” Gaz starts to ask. 

“Not now Gaz.” Price is quick to cut him off from finishing his words, “not now.” 

He can’t talk about all of this right now. What he needs to do is to just push his feelings down, and focus on the task at hand otherwise he fears that he’s not going to be able to get through the rest of the day. Price still needs to talk to you after all; that conversation is only going to end in shambles. 

Thinking about it he wonders how you're going to react to seeing him after all this time. Are you going to recognize him? How much do the twins know about him? It can’t be much considering you knew almost nothing about him as well. These questions flooded his mind for the whole drive until eventually pulling into your driveway. 

You lived in a pretty house in the countryside, a place he would have loved to raise a family. 

A sudden knock on the window beside him shook him from his thoughts. Ghost stood right by the car door with Soap and Gaz behind him. “You coming, captain?” 

Without answering him he opens the door, and starts marching towards the front door. Before he takes a step onto the front porch he turns to address the three men behind him. "You lot stand here while I go try to talk to her. We don't want to freak her out with four strange men crowding her doorway." 

Price doesn't wait for them to respond, and simply turns around once more. Time seems to slow down with each step closer to your door. He's not sure how you're going to react, but he knows that he's going to do everything he can to earn a spot in your life; in your children's life. 

With three hard knocks he waits for you to open the door, and when the door opens he feels all the air leave his body. 

You admittedly look disheveled, but that is not enough to make his heart beat any less for you. Upon seeing him though you have a look between confusion and shock on your face. 

He tries to say anything in the moment, but before anything can be said though you swiftly slam the door in his face. Even muffled by the door he can hear a sob coming from the other side.

Taglist: @zarsghost @lulurubberduckie @mafer383 @7thsthings @sazifer

[barcaatthemoon]

physical || jessie fleming x reader ||

you get distracted watching jessie in the gym.

minors dni, 18+, smut warning.

you hated some of the hotels that you were put up in for away friendlies. the training facilities were always great, but you wished that some of the hotels had better fitness centers. there was only so much that you could do before it felt redundant. unlike you, jessie seemed to have found her groove perfectly.

your gaze wandered in her direction repeatedly as you finished up your workout with some cardio. you were known for going the hardest on the team, so it confused a few of your teammates to see you casually walking. unbeknownst to them, you'd get your proper workout in later away from prying eyes.

anybody else would have thought that jessie knew exactly what she was doing, but you knew better. jessie had her moments, but for the most part, whenever she turned you on like this, it was innocent. she was just doing her thing, and you just happened to have noticed something familiar with it.

soft moans that you hadn't heard in the two and a half weeks that you'd been away from london. there were a lot of rules when it came to camp, and you absolutely had to find a way to break them. you felt like it had been forever since you had been forced away from jessie like this. staying celibate for a period of time wasn't normally too difficult for you, but right now you needed jessie. you needed her in ways that you were certain might have scared her a little.

you had known jessie for years, but your relationship was practically brand new. the two of you had played together briefly in portland, and years later, were reunited when you were traded from the courage to chelsea. jessie had done everything that she could to be a good friend to you, and both of your hidden feelings had been revealed when jessie helped you get over your first big bout of homesickness.

"jess, can you take me back to our room? i think that i need to spend some time in bed," you said. jessie quickly shot up from the mat where she had been stretching to escort you back to the room. she seemed to have absolutely no idea that you weren't feeling unwell.

"you start the shower and i'll grab some clothes for you. do you need me to stay in with you? i don't mind to, it's just that kailen mentioned some of the girls going shopping later…" jessie was nervously fretting over you, so you kissed her. the shorter woman slowed to a stop as she let you guide her into the bathroom. you started undressing yourself as you moved towards the shower, jessie eagerly following suit.

"let them run around all day. less interruptions," you said in between kisses. jessie let out a laugh at that as the two of you slipped into the shower together. "you looked so hot in there. i don't even know how i made it all the way to the room. do you know how crazy you make me feel sometimes?"

"i'm sorry," jessie apologized. you laughed at her apology. there was a little miscommunication problem with you and jessie, but it was just another little thing that made you love her. you wanted to stick by her side forever, and a part of you felt like jessie would let you if you asked nicely enough.

"it's a good thing. you're hot jess, really hot. and the way your muscles looked in the gym with those little fucking noises. it made me think of that night we spent together after we played villa. do you remember that babe?" you asked as your arms snaked around jessie's waist. her breath hitched as your fingers trailed up from her navel.

there wasn't a doubt in your mind about whether or not jessie remembered. you had never fucked her like that. she had been insatiable the next morning, practically begging for you to try all of your little tricks again before niamh got back. now, you could feel a similar situation begin as jessie's hips pressed back against your body.

"maybe i need a little reminder," jessie said. her tone was sickeningly sweet, something that she knew riled you up. you felt a smaller hand push yours down until they were where jessie wanted them. "you wouldn't mind, would you?"

you didn't need much more to turn jessie and push her against the tile wall. you kept one hand between her legs, not even bothering to tease her while the other pulled her head back a bit. jessie was stretched out in front of you, partially supported by your body standing strong behind her.

it was even more than what you remembered, but your hands moved the same. rough thrusts in and out of jessie to send her hurtling towards the pinnacle of pleasure, but not quite skilled enough to make her cum. you wanted jessie to beg a little, or at least get close to it. jessie knew that you'd never leave her high and dry, but in the heat of the moment, rationality was the last thing on jessie's mind.

"god, you feel so good (y/n). i want more, i need more. please," jessie pleaded with you. the hand in her hair moved down the side of her face, resting where your fingertips were pushed just past jessie's lips. you knew that she'd bite down on them, the sting of it sending chills down your spine.

"that's it. ride it out. breathe for me. keep steady, that's my girl." you cooed gentle praises into jessie ear as she rode out her orgasm. the fingers that had been roughly fucking into jessie made gentle, controlled movements over her clit. jessie's arousal leaked down her leg, mixing with the water and circling the drain. still holding onto her, you quickly washed both of your bodies, knowing that jessie would definitely want to rest for a bit after your shower.

you brought jessie to the bed after drying her off. she didn't bother to throw anything on, just getting into bed with the hotel robe on. you sent a couple texts to teammates that you'd meet them for dinner later before you put on some clothes and laid down next to jessie. she was fast asleep, clutching your personal blanket tightly in her arms. it was a bit of a struggle, but you did managed to steal it away and take its place in jessie's protective hold.

[tlou-reid]

okay i know i literally posted the first blurb of popstar!reader x spencer but i can’t stop thinking about them so this is how i picture them meeting

popstar!reader x spencer reid au

spencer checked his watch with a sigh, doing his best to increase the pace of his steps, hoping to make it to his guest lecture on time. the head of the anthropology department had set this up months ago, spencer couldn’t ruin it now.

despite it not being one of spencer’s many masteries, he was here to educate the department’s students on forensic anthropology; the study of human skeletal remains. it was a skill he used a lot in the field, and was more than excited to be able to talk to all of the students who signed up to visit the lecture. he wasn’t sure how many it was, but he looking forward to it nonetheless.

all had been going perfectly, until his train had been delayed due to the track being icy. he understood the dangers, but was really tee-ed off at the situation.

so, here he was, trying not to embarrass himself on campus. it felt like his college experience all over again, except he was just over college age, rather than multiple years below. the ground was slippery, so he looked like a white mom with the way he was speed-walking.

“excuse me,” a chipper voice called out. there was no one around, meaning she was definitely talking to him. spencer debated ignoring her, but didn’t want to be rude, especially if she was one of the students. “hello,” he answered, trying his best to hide his annoyance. covering up his emotions was never one of spencer’s strong suits.

“do you know where the stadium is? i’ve been looking around forever, but i can’t seem to find it. the map has faded out, it definitely needs to be repainted.” she asked. “follow that path,” spencer gestured to one that split between two buildings, “to the right and it’ll be straight down.” he’d barely finished his sentence before he was trekking along, desperately trying to make it on time. “thank you, professor!” she proclaimed.

professor?

that crisis was one spencer would have to deal with later. he knew his ties and dressed pants made him blend in with an older crowd, be he’d at least thought he’d be labeled as a master’s student at most.

oh well, he has somewhere to be.

“i’m so sorry for the delay,” spencer said as he arrived to the large lecture hall. he sat his bag down, before going to shake the professor’s hand. “it’s no issue, dr. reid. it’s not like we had much of a turn out, anyways.” for the first time, spencer directs himself to the seats. six of them are full.

“i’m sorry if this is a disappointment,” the professor said as spencer dismissed it with a head shake, “we had a lot more sign up, but once they announced who was playing at the festival, a lot of plans changed.”

“festival?” spencer’s face twisted up, not understanding what the professor was talking about. a student interjected, a blonde boy with glasses, “yeah it kicks off the start of holiday festivities. it’s usually really lame, but y/n is playing it this year and her ep was a banger.”

spencer nodded, pretending he knew what the word banger meant. “i’ll try to be quick so you guys can make it to see, too.” spencer smiled at the students who did show. he appreciated their dedication, especially since there was somewhere else they could be having a lot more fun. the students smiled back at him.

talking fast is a skill spencer had mastered, so he ended up using 50 of the 90 minutes he was allotted, and sent the students off to the festival, telling them to have fun and be safe.

“they really appreciated you letting them go. i heard danny and rebecca talking about how much they wanted to be there, but they needed the extra credit for one of their courses.” the professor smiled at spencer. he remembered having professors like him, and hoped one day he could be similar.

“you should go check it out too, i heard y/n’s really good live.” the professor said as he stepped out into the hallway. spencer nodded, and finished packing up his things.

after some internal debate, spencer decided he would. he was using his first PTO day all year, so he minus well spend it doing something that could have some semblance of fun. he followed the same path he’d directed someone down earlier, and used his guest pass to come in through the side. he was standing side-stage, watching y/n perform her last song. while pop wasn’t usually the genre he chose, he could admire how strong she was vocally, especially considering the way she danced across the stage.

he smiles as he realizes that y/n is the same girl he’d given directions too. it was nice to know someone else was running late to something important today.

“thank you!” she says, waving goodbye to the crowd of students. she’s moving closer to spencer before he can even realize it. he didn’t know that he would be standing where she exited, but he wasn’t upset about it all.

“professor!” she cheers when she sees him, wiping down some sweat that had accumulated at the top of her head. “how’d you get back here?”

spencer’s cheek went red almost immediately, feeling like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. “i-i just followed the path i sent you down,” he stuttered. she giggled at him, “well, i hope you liked the show.”

“i did!” spencer squeaked, with a small voice crack, before relaxing himself a bit and adding, “i just made it in time for the last song, but it was really good.” all of the knowledge he possessed about music and music theory was wiped away when she got close enough to him that he could see the individual specs of glitter on her eyelids. he wished he could compliment something technical about her performance, but his mind was blank.

“guess i’ll just have to get your number so you can come to a full show,” you smiled at him. if spencer’s head was empty before, it was full now, with nothing but thoughts of you. “y-yeah, that’d be cool.” you giggled again, reaching for his hand. “my phone’s somewhere backstage, but here,” you held his arm steady, using the sharpie you’d been given to sign autograph with to scribble your personal number across his arm.

“use it, sometime.” you declared, skipping off when you were done. spencer nodded at no one, trying to forget about the amount of chemicals seeping into his skin from the permanent marker.

shit, he thought, i’m gonna have to get a phone i can text on.

[softzindagi]

Some of my thoughts on maxton hall and why i loved it so much:

- im so glad that they didnt have james being a dickbag and kissing other girls after he met ruby

- the contrast of james and ruby’s families, the polar opposite in fathers. I love how they still had james and lydia be each other’s rocks in such a crappy situation when they have no one else, even if their relationship isn’t the best. The dichotomy of their relationship to ruby’s and ember’s? things can go wrong but they are sisters who love each other deeply.

-i loved the very pride and prejudice esque scenes of ruby dressing james down, and every time he deserved to be told off but it still makes ruby feel guilty afterwards. there’s a moral compass of ruby that james hated at first but it humbles him? Chefs kiss its so fucking good. He betters himself just like darcy and the change is seen even by his parents.

- the scene of ruby telling james off in the oxford course, its a pivotal scene because everything she says digs at things he knows. Young Beaufort wasnt his idea, it was Lydia’s and he’s taking credit and charge of it. He feels bad, he’s forced into it, but it’s the “you go through life representing wealth to which you have contributed absolutely nothing? With so much money, there’s no need for your own ideas.” Ruby has no idea how hard that actually hits home, and you can see Lydia take a step back mentally and yeah she agrees. The rest of it, how people will only like him for his money and not himself, that also hits so close. We see how Cyril laughs inspite of James’ pain, Alister is impressed by Ruby’s dress down but no one goes after James like a true friend would. As the series goes on you see how Alister and James grow closer as he becomes a better person, you see the care and concern because they’re in similar places but Alister isn’t as proud or arrogant as James is. I really love how by the end of the series, you have James and Alister confiding in each other.

- the scene on the lacrosse field, the way she apologizes and he is arrogant but decides to be nice because he is curious, and finds out that he does like her. She humbles him and makes him want to do better, she’s not the enemy and he kinda respects her for it. I also think, he’s never had anyone genuinely apologize to him, because he’s never had anyone wrong him but his own family. The apology, it’s a catalyst for him to let go of this resentment he has for her, in the truth she dug up in him.

- i am very happy that they have the good and the bad with ruby’s parents. The guilt that Ruby feels and the way her father is not happy that she is “wasting” her money on saving for his lift. There’s care there, but it’s hard nonetheless, those are big emotions to have years after an accident like he experienced.

- piggy backing off of that, the pivotal scene of James saving Ruby from the pool, that even though he didn’t know why she didnt come up but didnt hesitate to jump in? CHEFS KISS! The scene after of her confiding in him, him being so gentle and careful and being honest with percy, that he’s in over his head but he likes ruby, he wants to help her and has helped her. Oof just so fucking good!

- the way they keep telling each other that they should go back to never knowing each other, but every time fail because they’re meant to collide now, they MATTER to each other now

- i just really am glad they had him apologize for the shitty way his father was to her. That he was embarrassed by himself and his father. It was excruciating to have her get humiliated by his father. He’s only experienced it within his own family, but having it happen to Ruby? that changed things.

- they fucking nailed the cute scenes between them. The dancing in the victorian clothes, the chasing pigeons, the planning and setting up of the gala? Hell yeah!

- The whole fourth episode was chef’s kiss, no notes just purely good storytelling

More thoughts later but this is what i’ve got rn after rewatching the show for the third time

[cbrownjc]

On its surface, this photo doesn't make much sense

So what are we seeing here in this photo? Well, on its surface, it appears to be Armand, Daniel, and Louis. And Armand and, what appears to be a rather injured, maybe burnt, Louis carrying an unconscious Daniel upright down the steps of the Divisadero Street townhouse.

However, if you think about it, it makes no sense why Armand and Louis would do something like this. Because even if Louis is hurt . . . he and Armand are both still vampires. Meaning they not only have super strength, they have very quick speed as well.

And, as we saw in episode 2x04 during the museum date scene -- which takes place 28 or so years before the 1973 interview -- Armand already has the Cloud Gift. He can fly.

If Armand, or Louis, or both of them wanted to get Daniel out of the house, they in no way needed to do it like this.

Plus, Daniel already knows they are vampires. Hiding their abilities from him is moot at this point. On top of that, he's unconscious. A state I'm pretty sure he could be made to stay in if Armand wanted him to. Again, we just saw Armand do so to not only his own coven members during the dinner scene, but to two human guards at the museum he and Louis visited. Leaving Daniel unconscious for however long he needed to be to be taken out of there would, again, be no problem.

The only reason Armand and Louis would even do something like this is if they wanted to be seen doing this.

Yes, IMO, this situation is being purposefully staged by them for some reason.

Did they want the Talamasca to see them doing this? Maybe. But the Talamasca already know that they are vampires, and wouldn't buy it. (And I think Armand would very well know that the Talamasca know they are vampires). But, at the moment, staging it for the Talamasca is the most likely out of anything.

However, are they doing it so as to try and not draw attention/cover themselves in suspicion because Daniel has been reported missing? And they are just going to drop him off at home, memory wiped? Well, IMO no, doing something like this would just draw more attention to them, IMO, given that Daniel wouldn't remember anything about what happened anyway. It would be much easier to just have Armand fly unconscious Daniel home, and memory-wiped but still alive. Daniel then wakes up later being none the wiser and no one really pointing or looking at Louis or Armand about anything, because even Daniel doesn't remember anything about them.

And then, of course, we have that body wrapped in plastic that I, at first, fully mistakenly thought was Daniel, until the guy's mustache was pointed out to me.

And maybe, just maybe, that is the point. Because, at a distance, what might that man look like if you shaved off his mustache, throw a hat on his head, and make sure his eyes remained closed, which would be easy to do if he's dead, and . . .

I'm not entirely convinced that the person that Armand and Louis are carrying from the house is Daniel. And I haven't been since I first saw that photo when I first watched the episode. I very much think that is the man who was wrapped in plastic, and made up to look like Daniel, even given Daniel's clothes and side bag.

IMO, Armand went out and purposefully found a man with a similar height, build, and hair color to Daniel's. And now, they are going to use that man's corpse to make it appear -- to somebody -- that they let Daniel go that the next night or sometime late. Or, if not Daniel, then the person who came back with Louis that night was that man, and they just ended up feeding on him and he just died later after they got him out of the house or whatever.

Again, why Armand and Louis are doing this, I don't know. But that whole situation of carrying Daniel out of the house is being staged by them for some reason. Because getting Daniel out of there -- undetected -- would be really easy for even just Armand to do alone, never mind both of them together. But they want to be seen doing this, for some unknown reason.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

totally forgot what you think of shippy stuff but im gonna ask you anyway !!! do u think sabo n law would be friends ??! more than that ?! cause they have like . . . one arc together plus stampede and they dont seem to hate each other so !! im curious of your thoughts 🎤

Their dynamic for me is kinda just like “this guy is my little brother’s friend” kind of feel and thats really it for me. Like ifykyk what that dynamic is but for me they just,,,, theyre too similar to eachother to be much more than that in my opinion. I feel like Sabo naturally drifts to people who are very different than him, if that makes sense.

I think all the ship art I’ve seen of them is really funny though. Like they have a lot of comedic potential, I love people putting Law in Situations and that man is just doomed to be the StraightMan for the rest of his unintentionally sexy life.

And also like, to get into law’s world you really have to push and shove and claw your way in there, and Sabo is way too busy trying to get tf outta wherever he is to do that for law.

Now that im thinking about it though, i wish we knew how sabo and ace met. Cuz like luffy really had to push and shove and claw his way into Ace’s life, so i wonder if sabo had to do the same. Thats really besides the point though because i wouldnt really compare Sabo being completely alone and friendless when he was 5 and trying to find even a single friend in Ace, to Sabo in his adult years who grew up without a single memory of being alone and being constantly surrounded by people who love him.

Sabo isnt like Luffy is with making friends. Luffy has had multiple points in his life where hes had to really force people into friendship to have someone, anyone, in his life. This naturally is because he hates being alone, mostly stemming from just truly no one being there for him to connect with. He’s been woefully devoid of peers in his life. So for Luffy, having to brute force his way into people’s lives is just par for the course for him, which of course is how he became Law’s friend (self proclaimed)

But Sabo, with how he was raised post amnesia, he was never lonely. So in my opinion he wouldnt really have that drive to force his way into people’s lives like his little brother does. He wouldnt have that insecurity that Luffy has/had to make him like that.

And Law….. he’s had everyone he’s ever loved ripped away from him time and time again. To say being Law’s friend is extremely fucking hard is an understatement to say the extreme least. Sabo is also not the kind of guy to do things for people. Like for example Bartolomeo drowning in the colosseum as sabo destroyed the arena and just telling him “youre a man, do it yourself.” And then two seconds later to his woman friend he’s like “since when can you not take care of things yourself?” Like he’s very You Gotta Meet Him Halfway If Youre Gonna Meet Him At All. (‘Woman friend’ being koala, of course, but i just wanna emphasize those two points because truly it doesnt matter what your gender is or even if youre a close friend, that ‘do it yourself’ is rated E for Everybody)

Law needs to be broken in with a semi truck to be his friend, not even mentioning trying to be his lover and i really dont think sabo would put in the effort to do either of those things. I honestly think law shouldn’t be in any romantic relationship for a very long time because of how unbelievably traumatized and broken and ruined he is especially with certain recent events. So i really have a hard time shipping him with anyone even though theres lots of characters ripe for the picking.

TDLR: in my eyes, neither of them would put in the effort of trying to be anything with eachother and are kinda just on good terms because of a mutual friend.

By Every Means Necessary though, please keep shipping them and drawing ship art of them, i feel like the stuff i see with them is so creative and i encourage you to keep drawing those tragic men making out.

If you have any other thoughts or any ship/friendship propaganda for me though lmk please. This is kinda one of those ships where i really dont much understand it beyond The Bit. I’m just not the kind of person to really like ships without seeing a direct and canon dynamic between them I can pull from. Like even if its a negative dynamic i can still get into it but like these two truly have Nothing. So by all means, help me understand.

Thank you for coming my ted talk and thank you for the question, i really had to think hard about this and it was a lot of fun coming to the conclusion i came to.

[cupcakeslushie]

For your kendratello au:

how often does Donnie bring up Kendra ? Does he talk about her a lot, or keep to himself? If he does talk a lot about her, how do the others react when she is brought up?

I’d say it’s all he talks about when they first get him back. He’s always finding some link back to her no matter the conversation. Raph will try to gently change the subject, Mikey or April will either try to make Donnie consider and think through what he’s saying, or show him proof that contradicts whatever he brings up, if they can. Leo just flat out ignores all the praise and stories his brother heaps onto Kendra, but that’ll eventually come to a head when Leo just can’t keep quiet anymore.

Splinter will kinda do all these things. He’s not really sure the best route to take. But more often than not, he’s following Raph’s lead to be gentle, though there are times he sticks his foot in his mouth 😬. He does have a small, precious few photo albums that he likes to pull out and go through with Donnie, once he lets the family closer. (I have plans for a whole Splinter (and Draxum) post. Cause Donnie and Splinter’s situations are just similar enough 🙂).

It’s a very long road of convincing Donnie that Kendra lied and manipulated and hurt him. And even when he starts to believe the family over her programming, Donnie still can’t help but mention her in little ways. The obsession googles are off, but only pushed up—never removed completely lol.

Even months or years later, when he feels like he’s closer to his old self than Kendra’s puppet, his first thought is usually about how she would respond, or react to every situation. But after that long he has the wherewithal now, to keep it to himself and not hurt his family by mentioning her. When he does slip up it’s like sticking a butter knife into a still open wound.