#i would die laughing at my brain forever if so.
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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Me vs confusing gender thoughts vs mental illness
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secondpersonpoetry · 15 days ago
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HI!!!!! whilst eating dinner i watched the “once an otter always an otter” number retirement video on youtube and thought “ooh. cool. let me see what people are saying”. opened tumblr. saw your most recent reblog, pressed play. saw DYLAN STROME say the word “davo” and immediately had to pause it lol. put my fork down to boot. like…..flabbergasted. genuinely. man oh man. my goodness. unpaused. the past tense “it was (WAS!!!!) an honor to be your friend” (😧) and the “and hopefully we can make some more [memories] in the future” and the fade to black. SHUT UPPPPPPPPP. OH MY GOD…………….i don’t have anything of substance to add just im sick!!! im sickened!!!!!! it’s never overrrrrrrrrr. absolutely unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! frank ocean ivy trust and believe you WILL be looped for the foreseeable future……..they’ll never be those kids again!!!!! and the game’s in a week and a half!!!!!!! gahhhhhhh. nuts crazy bonkers etc etc. going to have an absolutely exceedingly normal one about it for sure!!!!!! hope you have a good one!!!!!!!
also! just for future reference: do you prefer asks of this nature sent to this blog or your hockey one? thank you!!
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"Centaur over Tomer Butte" [amended, abridged], Robert Wrigley
you know. i don't think i actually ever registered dylan saying "davo". i think my ears just decided i didn't need to hear that, for the good of my brain to continue functioning. who up having their present haunted by the ghosts of the past who are less like ghosts and more like someone you keep forgetting walked out of the next room but also aren't quite sure if they came back and you've only just worked up the courage to call out to them. schrödinger's best friend who might or might not be there in your future to make more memories with. but at least this time you opened the door and left it cracked for him to crawl back through.
#me when i. when i. like i was looking for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POEM to reply because that is unfortunately the arbitrary mechanism#brain decided to employ here and then this one was like NO ACTUALLY i am invading your brainwaves. i wanted to find all my dylan/zach you#you say his name just to keep him for a while longer in your mouth bring more of him into the world poems wherever they went because.#as mentioned. number one actually i will also say i didn't have the sound on for the first few seconds of the video because human error#of needing to hit unmute BUT my brain :) was protecting me :) from having to think about stromer :) davo-ing him :) and i am LOSING IT#idk. idk. poem felt relevant because we were talking about stars & i have very long had a note about connor & orbits even if it's re: leon#and alsO i keep looking at ash's post about a wobbler and his devoted valet because i'm in love with it and it IS them and so i also#immediately went OH MY GOD but that was second the first part was me going “ME BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK FOR A WHILE IN A FURTHER FOREVER”#DYLAN YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE DYLAN SOME ODD NUMBER OF YEARS OUT STILL TALKING ABOUT CONNOR LONG AFTER YOU'D THINK HE COULD STOP & FORGET and#we were talking about ghosts with bleachers and thinking about like. don't assume ghosts were birthed by other ghosts maybe nothing went#wrong!! the it was an honor to be your friend!! cody's post that was like we all want to know what happened in their friendship and it#sounds like maybe dylan wants to know too! y'all i can't BE HERE there's something percolating and i don't know what it is. smth smth#orion the hunter leon is a scorpio but ALSO i need everyone to understand how complex this square is like i don't hate leon and i need him#to be okay if we have mcstrome & viceversa. anyway i meant the distance between stars forever? OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION ME READING TOMER#LAUGHING LIKE HAHA STROMER right there and then editing the poem so it said stromer & all of you could suffer with me. in a further forever#do u think they promised each other forever when they were kids. do u? do u think the arrow drawn at the heart was one dylan always knew#connor would have to fire? shout out to the verse before that said what lives on that map (charted lightning strikes) never sees the light#& it [s]t[r]omer was significant once before a lava from the west filled its valley in. caved its <3. connor breaking dylan's <3 -> ghost#liv in the replies#anyway made myself more unhinged with the schrödinger's best friend and them missing each other thinking about like. dylan wasn't there fr.#something something time loops and alternate universes i KNOW it's kinda terrible but this is how you lose the time war-esque element#(bc i also just finished reading welcome to forever) of them never seeing each other for real right like. always just an observation. does#he care or does he not. a video of dylan a tweet from connor a text a missed invitation an instagram story the levels of separation and by#god YES i will willfully misinterpret schrödinger & also smtms quantum physics what else do u have a niche interest for. planetary bodies b#ALSO! idrc but yes pls if hrpf related (all side blogs we die like men) send asks over there & maybe i will be more tag story organized#(also while this blog LOOKS more active bc i have a queue for months i am actually more active on the hockey blog lmao) & bc also i want to#share your asks with everyone there. duh. also if i did not tell u already BESTIE THE DMS IF YOU WANT!!! i love receiving asks. u were#already immediately my friend when u sent me one & like. now i would die for u we're having conversations. but if u want a poem send here#p.s. everyone tells me i'd love frank ocean lmao but i haven't listened to him yet for literally no reason. maybe this is the stars alignin
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7seas-of-ryy · 6 months ago
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I Need You | Part 1
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Author’s Note: I want this to be multiple parts because I have a storyline that would feel crammed if I did it in one part! Not sure exactly how long I'll make it! Angst AND fluff!!
Summary: You've been in love with Azriel for as long as you can remember but it seems he always wants what he can't have. You want him to be happy with Elain but what will it cost you?
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Nightmares, let me know if I need to add any others :)
You were running as fast as you could and it wasn't fast enough. The creature was catching up to you and the second it got you, you knew you'd be gone forever. Sweat poured down your body, fear was coursing through you as you heard the monster start to... laugh behind you? It was truly enjoying the chase. Suddenly shadows started to appear, starting at your ankles then wrapping around your body until they were covering you entirely.
Azriel. He was here to save you and the relief you felt was sweet. You knew the shadows would protect you. Until, as quickly as they appeared, they began to fade away. What? No, this can't be happening. You're cover is entirely gone and the creature jumps at you. You struggle against it and scream for the shadowsinger but its no use. It sinks it's teeth right into your neck and right as you're about to die...
You jolt awake. Immediately grabbing for your neck to make sure there are no marks and convince your brain there was no actual monster.
The immediate dread of putting on a smile for the rest of the day hit you. Everyone in the IC had their own problems and nightmares, you didn't need to burden any of them with your own.
So, you got yourself ready for the day, put on a happy face, and headed down for breakfast. Only Cassian, Feyre, and Rhys were down and eating already.
"Good morning sunshine" Cass spoke with a mouth full of food.
You smiled at him and sat down with a cup of coffee, not in the mood to fill your stomach after that horrible dream.
"How did you sleep?" Feyre asked, her kind eyes watching you
"Good" You forced out and Feyre's eyebrows rose at the clipped word. Rhys and Cass were now watching you as well.
"Uh I was thinking of going out today, maybe try out the new bakery that opened up." You said quickly, hoping they wouldn't notice you trying to change the subject.
"Oh! Azriel was just telling us he wanted to try it out! He'll definitely want to go with you!" Feyre spoke
As if speaking his name had summoned him, he walked in with Elain at his side.
"Did I hear my name?" The shadowsinger asked
"Our dear friend here was just telling us she was going to try that new bakery today and we knew you wanted to as well." Cass said while throwing an arm around you with a big smirk
Azriel's eyes lit up ever so slightly. "Ah yes, I did want to try that. I'm afraid I'll be busy for a while. Would you like to go tonight instead?"
You nodded your head with a shy smile, "Yes that would be nice. I'll meet you there"
He tilted his head in acknowledgment at you and went back to his conversation with Elain.
You had been crushing on Azriel for so long, maybe too long. For a while you'd hoped he felt the same, but it seemed his attention was always elsewhere. He's been too busy with Elain all the time so you barely got to hang out with him anymore. To say you were excited to finally get some time with him was an understatement.
You went up to your room, packed your bag for the day and left for the city. Even though you had a rough start, maybe today would be a good day... Maybe.
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snowsinterlude · 1 year ago
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stuffed.
(coriolanus snow x f. reader)
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summary: what better way to show your affection towards one than trapping them by your side forever? well, if there was one, president snow didn't knew about it.
c.w: forced breeding, baby trapping, president snow, cnc, slapping, forced creampie, possessiveness, stockholm syndrome at the end, fem. reader, reader is (was) a opera singer
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singing like there was no tomorrow was something you did quite often, being a opera singer to the capitol was the best thing that could've happened to you before. especially since you were from the districts.
so now, knowing the president is your fan (something you didn't expected, not even in a thousand years), you were singing your heart out at his parties. every bouquet of white roses he gave you always hid something. pearls, diamonds, earrings of white colored jews. he seemed to like white very much- even though his suit was always the red ones.
then, there was money.
the motive for him to give so many things was revealed when he was pinning you on the wall, the posca he drank seemed to have took control over his brain. somehow, you didn't mind it. maybe because the idea of being the president's favorite girl was something quite appealing- something your stupid self seemed to like very much.
feeling so desired, feeling so loved was something adorable, lovely. especially when he woupd promise you so many things.
you didn't believe any of them. you always made sure to be on the pill, always made sure to put a condom on his dick, always made sure to tell him to pull out when you didn't had a condom.
he was tired of it. he wanted you to be pregnant for him, wanted to see your belly showing through your clothes and the fantasies you used when performing. he wanted you closed on his room with your legs open and your pussy wet- he wanted to kill all of those who were thirsting over you, over the way your corset hugged your body so nicely and made your boobs bounce.
with that in his mind, you noticed just how rude he was tonight.
"i want you to be my wife," he said, midfucking. he would always say things like that while pounding inside you. it was crystal clear to you that he didn’t really wanted it, or so you thought, because his intention ever since he saw you was to fuck his babies into you and make you bear all of them.
"c-cory, let's talk about it later- oh, fuck!" you moaned, fucking yourself on him as his dick entered you so nicely, hitting all the right spots. as always.
you recieved a slap on your ass, accompanied by a thick, strong grab. "not later," he pounded inside you, hand on your waist, grabbing you so tightly you felt like you'd simply die at his touch. maybe it was a good thing. "now. 'wanna talk about it now."
you mewled as he thrusted inside your cunt again, his dick hitting all the right spots, from your cervix to your sweet g spot. "n-no, later, mm, truly."
he slapped your clit. it was getting rough now. you could notice from how hard he bit your nipple, it's not that you don't like it- it's just because you weren't ready for it.
"i'm serious, dove. i want you to be my wife." you didn't listen, too caught up in the pleasure, in the painful bites on your nipple, on the angry soft slaps on your swollen clit.
"s-stop it, you know i can't- i'm a performer, i-"
"i don't fucking care," he grunted, his nails buried into your skin "you're mine. from the moment i layed my eyes on you you were mine." he said, looking at your mewling melted state. "you're so wet, so tight on me, and yet you claim you don't want to be my wife?"
he laughed, as if telling a joke to himself, as if that was the biggest joke on the world. each two thrusts made you squirm, you already came some minutes ago. there were two condoms filled to the brim with his seed by your side on the bed of his guest room.
trying your best not to cum again, he took himself out of you, taking the condom of your side into his hands. he hated the texture. if it depended on him he would fuck you raw everytime. and yet there he was, obediently following your rules just to fuck you senseless.
"w-wait, what are you doing? stop. stop it! ah, fuck!" you squirmed at the hot feeling of his cum entering you, being poured inside of you, it felt so good you couldn't help but want more, for your own surprise. "p-president snow-"
"now is president? until some seconds ago it was coryo." he said, fingering his own cum inside you, making sure nothing would spill.
"p-please stop, i can't be pregnant-"
"you can." he stuffed you with it again, spilled all the cum of he other condom inside you "you will. i'll make sure of that"
taking the condom out of his dick again, the blonde introduced his dick into you again, smiling at the sight and the feeling of your wet cunt.
"fuck- look at you. so wet and still trying to say you don't want it." he smiled, nibbling on your nipple.
"n-no- i dont want to be pregnant, i can't- i have to sing!" you moaned, your hips meeting his with every thrust. you bucked your hips on him, did your best not to like it, but you couldn't lie to yourself, it was wonderful.
"if you don't want this then why are you fucking yourself on me?" his answer was a long moan you gave him, your nails scratching his back, burying themselves deep inside him. "god, you're a whore."
"p-pills. i-i need to find my pills!" you squirmed, your cunt tightening around him so deliciously god that you had to bite your bottom lip as to not let anything out- not to let him know you liked it, from his dick inside you to his cum stuffed into you.
"you wont find them," he smiled. "threw them away"
"oh fuck- pull out, p-pull out!!" you squirmed, but it was too leste already, you were cumming on his dick and he was laughing at you while pinching your clit.
"you said you didn't want that"
"i-i don't. i can't, i sing. my entire life revolves around singing"
"not anymore" he came inside you, dick throbbing into your cunt as you squirmed. "just for nome months, you'll be a caged bird."
the idea he pictured to you was terrible. a wife, always in white, drained out from taking care of two babies. even if the feeling of his cum inside you was terribly good, the thought of being a mother was your worse nightmare.
he proposed to you again the next night. and of course you had to accept. being a single mother is never good to a girl who were originally from the districts. a lot of the capitol's people were running their mouth already, saying you seduced him, manipulated him, or whatever it was.
it was the contrary.
but of course they wouldn't know that, not with your wings clipped together for you to not sing your way out.
not with your round belly showing up. not with the two babies on his arm and his. both looked like you both. your nose, his eyes. his mouth, your hair. you loved them.
maybe it wasn't so bad.
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rotthepoet · 6 months ago
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Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔
Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)
P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud
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Theodore Nott
I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies
It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.
That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3
Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times
I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.
Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.
Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.
Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.
Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.
Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.
Mommy and daddy issues check?
Anyways!
Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.
Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.
Sex is a good outlet.
Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking
He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.
Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.
It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls
He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.
100% friends to lovers
He’s a quality time kinda guy i think
Just likes co-existing really
Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden
But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too
He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are
He’s being so genuine too
His friends would know
He never shuts up about you
If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”
And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes
He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms
He’s such a good boyfriend
Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)
Literally worships the ground you walk on
Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight
Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch
Anyways
Dotes on you everyday
Calls you so many sweet names in Italian
Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.
Argues in italian
Lowkey hates snow
Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather
Will take you to Italy over the summer
Demands you go
Fucks you on the balcony of his family home
Fucks you stupid on the beach
Sorry where was I going with this
Ah yes anyways
Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal
He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things
Slowly fingering you as you spoon
Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3
So much worship.
So much
Just adores you.
Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours
Literally cant stand American reality tv
The biggest kardashian hater
Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens
Doesnt care to share it though
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Lorenzo Berkshire
Bitchboy extraordinaire
If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast
I called theo a two faced liar as a joke
But Enzo actually is one
Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors
One of the richest in the group and it shows
Flaunts his money everywhere he goes
His ears are pieced
Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds
Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever
Dumps them whenever he gets bored
But omg when a person gives him his attitude back
Well first he gets even meaner
But also he likes you so much like… that was hot
And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame
Craves attention
Such an attention seeker
Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try
100% a prefect
Showers his pookie with so much love and attention
When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7
Never a hand straying to far
Literally obsessed
Big fan of exhibitionism
Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom
Its all fair game
Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday
Ass man 100%
Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle
Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers
Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty
Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont
Like fr can someone explain him to me
Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really
Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo
Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.
Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique
On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with
Slays at herbology
Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco
Light weight for reals
Like severely light weight
He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it
Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women
Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual
Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind
Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.
Anyways back to being his significant other
Will spoil you
Relentlessly
Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually
109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else
Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time
Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are
Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird
Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off
Genuinely ballistic if he loses you
Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back
Seriously considers murder for a while
Anyways he gets you back baby<3
Speaking of babies hes super good with kids
Look at that face
Amazing dad face
Scared of marriage lmao
Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships
Its a thing for all of them tbh
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loveydovey-leviathan · 7 months ago
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"𝑩𝑨𝑩𝒀, 𝑰'𝑴 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑺!"
streamer! leviathan x gn! reader
summary: levi starts a stream right after you put lipstick on
cw: one mention of being eaten, he’s obsessed w/ you what can i say, ooc levi, also im 90% sure this should be tagged yandere lol
🍉 from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸. this account stands with Palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and/or support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. | credit 🍉
.
The embodiment of envy itself sits pretty on his gaming chair, looking up at you and following your movements in a daze. He doesn’t think he has the capacity to do anything right now, let alone start his weekly stream. His entire face is flushed with the cutest pink hue because of all the blood rushing to his face at your affections and every languid kiss you give turns him more and more into the demonification of jelly, but he thinks being eaten by you would be the best way to die. He’d be connected to you in a way no one else would, always with you forever and ever–
“Levi?”
He yelps in the most embarrassing way possible and he immediately wants to crawl down to the Underground Tombs so he would never have to see anyone again, but then you laugh and he realises he wouldn’t be able to see or hear or touch you if he did that. The thought of it makes his very skin melt, or maybe his face just hasn’t calmed down yet.
“Y-Yeah?”
Your smile is teasing, predatory even. Like you know something he doesn’t and you’re going to enjoy every moment of his ignorance. 
“You have a stream to start, don’t you?”
He nods, and your smile grows wider. You give him one last kiss– it’s longer than the others but shorter than he’d like, and he whines when your fingers lightly scratch his nape in the way you know makes him go insane for more of you. It’s over before he has the chance to beg and he sends a longing look your way as you make yourself comfortable in the spot you’ve claimed as yours in his room. Just out of sight from his camera but close enough that he doesn’t have to move much to see you’re still there when he gets nervous.
He takes a few breaths to try and calm himself down and get his head in the game, but thoughts of you linger nonetheless, like a part of you had permanently embedded yourself into his very being. Levi figures this condition is the best he can get before he’s really late, so he starts the stream as he is.
He doesn’t notice anything different at first, but he’s too focused on making it look like everything is normal and that he isn’t still obsessing over you to notice what his chat is saying. He plays through the game he’s chosen as usual for a good while, becoming invested in the gameplay before he finally has a chance to rest in-game. It’s only now that he realises he hasn’t looked at the live chat since he started, and what he sees makes him want to pass out.
@/lover-b0y: LMAOO HE STILL HASN’T NOTICED
@/sweeti3s: you need to check the mirror before you start your stream my guy 😭
@/crystal-empire: do you think he did this on purpose?
@/loneeerrrr: way to make me feel single 😥😥
Levi immediately ducks under the desk in a frenzy and pulls out his rarely-used camera app, and what he sees can’t possibly be him. His entire face is covered in lipstick marks– from his cheeks to his nose to his eyes– but it’s especially bad on his lips. It’s smeared like crazy and it’s glaringly obvious to anyone who looks at him that he just had a make-out session. 
He sits under his table as he struggles to figure out what to do– brain going a mile a minute but still getting nowhere. But then he feels you staring and he looks up to see you sitting right next to him with your head lowered to not hit yourself against the desk.
His mind struggles to register anything but you. You’re with him and you’re so close he can smell the very essence of you. He’s envious of the very clothes on your back, of your lungs and your ribs and your intestines because why doesn’t he get to be that close to you?
“I turned off your stream.”
Your voice tunes out everything for him, but he musters up a “thank you…” in response.
You look empathetic when you apologise. “I’m sorry, was that too much for you?”
It was too much but not enough at the same time. He wishes you hadn’t pulled this stunt but he’s ecstatic that you did. He wishes you kissed him on stream, he hopes you leave a mark every time he goes out but he also wants to keep this side of you to himself. Why should anyone else get to see the affection you’ve given him? It’s his and his alone but the other part sees this as you claiming him as yours, and it’s a title he wants everyone to know.
“Levi, you okay?”
“Will you kiss me?” he blurts out.
It doesn’t matter how many times he asks, but you always respond with a smile too soft for someone like him. It melts every barrier he could ever put up and he welcomes everything you do to him with open arms, but all he feels is lips so perfectly moulded to fit against his own that he knows you’re the only one he’ll ever want so carnally.
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bb-blu-love · 8 months ago
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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆when the world is asleep⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
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tags: idol!bangchan x reader, established relationship, fluff, slight hurt comfort (really just a couple doing their best in a bad situation), reader has ~anxiety~
3:00 AM in the quiet part of town is your favorite place in the world. On the outskirts of the city, where only families and old folks live and the streets are empty this time of night, you have found what seems like the only place in the world where you and Chan can feel truly at ease.
You’d been waiting for him to come over all day, so when he finally called around ten saying he just left the studio you became giddy with excitement that soon turned into anxiety. It’s not like he had never been to your apartment before or that you felt uncomfortable around him; it’s just that you can never shake the fear that this time is when everything will go wrong. That this is the night you’ll be caught by photographers or fans and soon everyone will know and your relationship will change forever. That your whole life could change forever. These worries echoed in your brain as you went down to the entrance of your building to let Chan in. 
Your nerves were obvious; you didn’t hug him as tightly as you wanted to--trying to maintain the illusion that you could just be friends should anyone see you--and your smile twisted into a grimace as you kept an eye on your surroundings.
The summer night air ruffled the hair that stuck out from his hat “Hey, Baby!” he said with a soft smile “You feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I’m glad you could come over tonight,” You shyly smile, still not being able to shake the tight feeling in your stomach. 
He hummed a response and, sensing how on edge you were , looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was around before asking, “Should we go upstairs? I brought ice cream,” and lifted up a convenience store bag in his hand.
After heading up to your apartment the two of you spent hours just talking in your room. You were mostly catching up—you hadn’t seen each other in a couple of days due to your schedules—but eventually, it dissolved into a mess of inside jokes, you showing him all the Tik Toks you’d saved for him, him showing you videos of the boys messing around in dance practice in return, and whatever other nonsense made you both smile. Even though your relationship could be stressful, actually being with Chan was the easiest thing in the world. Honestly, you would be happy staying here forever; cuddled in his arms in the dim light of your bedroom, listening to his laugh get all squeaky as he worked himself up over some dumb video you won’t even remember in the morning. 
What you will remember, however, is how hot you are right now. Turns out your fourth-floor apartment with one broken AC unit could spell quite the sweathouse in the summer—especially with the amount of physical contact you two are prone to after some time apart. Chan had already shed his shirt sometime in between his first and second popsicle, and you had all of your fans on high pointed at your bed where you both laid tangled up with each other.
Chan, after finally calming down from his laughing fit, let out a sigh as he stared up at your ceiling. "You know I love you, right?"
"Yeah, why?" You asked, confused by his sudden declaration.
He continued quickly, "And you know that I really like coming over to your place-"
"Yeahh?"
"-because of the lack of roommates and overall better smell?"
"Also, I have HBO."
"Yes, also that—so will you not take offense if I, hypothetically, say that I’m going to die of heat stroke if I stay in here any longer?" He looked over at you with a rueful smile.
You laughed silently as you looked into his eyes. "I’ll go get my shoes."
He let out a triumphant "Yes!" and pumped his fist into the air as you got off of the bed, satisfied with the result of your banter. As you continued to get ready, he moved to the edge of your bed and was brought back to how anxious you seemed when he first arrived. "We don’t actually have to go out if you don’t want to, though," he said, scratching his arm as a nervous tick. "I know that we both get all paranoid when we’re not in private, and I don’t want to ruin the night or anything."
You turned to face him and put a reassuring hand on his arm, whilst you tried to shove your own concerns to the back of your mind."Don’t worry about it. I was thinking we could go to that one spot—you know, where we went on your birthday?"
"Yeah, that sounds perfect." He said with a relieved smile.
And that’s what brought you here; after checking for paparazzi from your apartment windows, and after you went outside and checked again, ensuring you both had your incognito face masks and baseball caps on. Finally, you were able to make the epic journey two blocks down and one over to a small playground surrounded by some trees and a fence: your safe haven. Taking in the warm night air as the wind lightly blows across your face--gently wicking the sweat on your brow--and hearing the leaves softly rustle as you both sit on the old swing set and let your legs dangle. You did what you loved to do most with each other: you talked.
"I’m sorry it’s always like this," Chan said as he looked at his feet, the toe of his shoes sputtering over the rubbery ground as he swayed, "that we can’t just get together and go to restaurants and the movies or—I don’t know— win you a big teddy bear at a carnival," he laughs half-heartedly, "or whatever regular couples get to do."
You smile sadly. "I’m sorry too. Maybe I’m just being overly cautious." 
He reaches over, grabs your hand, and rubs gentle circles on the back with his thumb, letting you know he isn’t mad and that he doesn’t blame you for anything. 
"I could tell the company, and they could release a statement or something." His tone hitches up at the end, almost like it’s a question—or maybe just the only thing he can think of to ease your guilt.
Not wanting to worry him, and always the best at avoiding the hard topics, you raise your eyebrows and sarcastically remark, "Oh yeah, and that would go over really well."
"Hm, yeah, you’re right. What do you think they would say, though?"
You lower your voice and attempt your best soulless executive impression. "'How could you, Chan?! You’re being so selfish by having desires and feelings! How do you expect us to monetize you when we can’t sell you as a fantasy boyfriend? Blargh rargh raa!'" You both chuckle at the absurdity of your situation: "And then of course you’ll get punished by your company, and everyone on Twitter is going to eat you alive when they find out, and you’ll get a tidal wave of hate thrown at you-"
"Oh, for sure." He nods along to your pessimistic prophecy (and excellent impression).
"-and I’ll be, like, assassinated by a bunch of teenagers whose identity hinges on the fantasy that they are secretly your one true love." You finish with a breathy chuckle.
He smiles at the ground. "Hey, Stays are much more than that," he says in an only half-serious defense.
"Heh, not the ones that I’ll have to deal with," you reply, almost to yourself. He seems to draw back at that comment, whatever clever response he had lined up dying on his lips.
You press your toes into the soft ground and push your swing over to his so that your shoulders touch. "I’m joking, Chan," you say in a soft voice.
"No, you're not." He shoots back in defeat. You sigh and try to meet his evasive eyes.
"You’re right, I’m not," you sigh, leaning in closer to him, "but that doesn’t mean I regret any of this. I can wish things were different while still loving how they are now." He finally meets your eyes, and his gaze goes soft. You share a fond look and, without words, reach an understanding: you're the best thing that has happened to each other, and eventually your love may see the light of day, but for now, just this is more than enough.
He brings your hand up to his mouth and lightly kisses your knuckles before letting your arms fall in between the both of you. "You’re right. I love this too. I’ll love anything as long as we can do it together." His words are full of tenderness and a rom-com sincerity that only he can do right.
"Except sit in my hot apartment." You smile as you lean towards him, and he smiles too as he goes in for a kiss.
"No, I loved that too. Just a little less than this." His lips touch yours, gentle and grinning, as your giggles float up into the night sky and you feel truly at ease once more.
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sheeezu · 18 days ago
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what if, you are just lying to all of us. I mean, now why are you so interested in tumblr when u have already "permashifted" and then you just came back to... Post subs on tumblr? Like is that a joke lmao. Maybe you realised after the "farewell" that you are getting enormous clout on tumblr so ur just fabricating an excuse to "come back from the grave" lol.
I believe in shifting, but not you. Or you can just fr give VALID explanations.
Oh. So you managed to speak in a way which represents an anon, just without the mask, huh?
I can hear the venom dripping out of your tongue, your eyes bulging out of your head, filled with envy and that "loser" tag forever tattooed on your forehead, which only I can see.
Now my love, why, why would I care about your mere, unimportant presence to give you, an ounce of explanation?
You think I'm losing my wits over your menacing ask, hyperventaling "oh no! The useless, good for nothing, commoner who'd die a graceless death does not believe in me-!" Hmm?
This post is going up, and you're going to give a good laugh to everyone, you're too timid to reveal your own identity, and you make such self assured threats like you're backed by an organisation?
I don't owe you an explanation, but you're so desperate, might as well.
1. Why am i interested in Tumblr?
Since I've shifted, I've become lazy. With the knowledge I can get whatever I want (unlike my special someone) , I can easily be the best of best if I wanted to, tumblr is the only space I have where I encourage myself to work hard on it.
2. Why did I permashift and I come back?
People make decisions all the time, I don't think your peanut disfigured brain will be able to get that. Unlike respawning, permashifting does not cut ties from the reality you're leaving, hun I could come back anytime.
3. Clout.
I had been getting "clout" even before I made that post, I was fully ready to delete my Farewell post and I even put a poll up, and I acknowledged that coming back was a bit confusing and generally not a good decision.
Do you realise, just how miserable you sound? Your message screams you're suffering and are failing day by day to achieve anything remotely close to success.
You wake up in a bitter mood, scare off other people with your goblin face.
You know you're never going to reach your desired reality, your soul is filled with hatred and there isn't an ounce of calmness or positively in you, you can't stay still because your whole body twitches with "damn it- if I can't get it THAT MEANS NOBODY CAN"
I don't think this shifting business is working out for you, and God forbid anyone tries to help people by making subs and actual, logical, helpful posts.
How about you get a job, hm? You're going to have to do something with this life, since you've completely blocked yourself from shifting anywhere else.
Take care and don't fuck with me motherfucker I will and can make your life miserable
And you better take that seriously before I release actual soul eating demons on you, love.
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sinnersweets · 1 year ago
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DogDay x Reader
part 2 ----->
A/N: My HC is that DogDay has an adult inside of him, unlike Catnap.
“Congragulations! Your application was chosen, and you are now part of the Playtime Co family! Please review all the following information provided in this email.” was all that was said in a recent email I had gotten. Finally, after weeks of job hunting, I heard back from someone, and it only took them a day to respond! I briefly skimmed through the email, knowing it was just boring company policies. At the very bottom it said that my first day was tomorrow. Wow, they sure do not waste time. I set an alarm and went to bed early, excited about my new job. 
---------------- 
When I applied, I put down that I did not mind working anywhere in the factory so imagine how surprised I was when I showed up, they told me I would be working down below in a room called ‘Playcare.’ In fact, it was highly requested that I was to be stationed there. They told me it’s where they house orphans. It’s fascinating that a factory that builds toys for kids has its own orphanage here, right in the factory! I was given a uniform to change into and the uniform was honestly quite cute! The shirt was a golden-brown color that smelled like vanilla, I was given a nametag with a sun pin attached and... a headband with dog ears the same color. I didn’t think much of it and just went to change before heading off to Playcare. 
--------------- 
I stared in awe as I looked down below at Playcare. This place was huge! I still could not believe that little kids lived here. I looked around at all the buildings. There was a school, a circus tent, a few more buildings and right up top was where all the orphans lived. Seeing all of this gave me the vibe of that one anime called ‘The Promised Neverland’ but I soon laughed at the thought. Kids do not die here, no demons feed on their brains, they get adopted. Adopted. 
--------------- 
As I exited the cable car, I was instructed to meet my boss inside of the Playhouse. While walking to the playhouse some kids would run up to me and call me ‘girl DogDay’ whatever that meant. I just smiled and waved at them before entering the Playhouse. I was not given a name for who my boss was but was just told that they would know what I looked like and would spot me. Lots of kids were in this area. All screaming and chasing each other. One of them grabbed my hand and said, “Hurry we have to hide before he finds us!” I had no time to protest as I was led behind some foam building blocks. “Um, who exactly are we hiding from?” I whispered back to the kid, might as well play along. “Shh. He has good hearing.” was all that the kid said before peeking over the blocks we were hiding at.  
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Two minutes went by before we both heard some footsteps approaching. “He’s coming! Run!” and then the kid ran into a slide and started to climb up. I laughed at the kids' action and started to get up before I felt breathing coming from above me. I slowly lifted my head up and was shocked to see a giant dog hovering above me. “Hiya Angel!” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything, I was in shock. This enormous dog that looks like a plushy is speaking to me. “I found you which means now you get to help out with catching everyone!” The dogs tailed wagged. I stood up and got a good look at this...dog thing. He was tall, around 8 ft. He had a pendant in the shape of a sun, and he smelled like vanilla. Oh, that’s what the kids meant earlier by ‘girl DogDay,’ this is DogDay. “Come on Angel, I know if we work together, we can find all the kids before time is up” and then DogDay ran on all fours like an actual dog, in search of the other kids.  
--------------- 
I think it was safe to say that DogDay found the rest of the kids while I just knew of the one that was with me before was hiding at. As we made our way back to the entrance, I noticed the kids laughing and trying to climb onto DogDay. Maybe he’s been with them forever and that’s why they don’t seem terrified by a dog that stands 8 ft tall. DogDay looked over and saw me and the last kid approaching and waved at us. The other kids stopped what they were doing and looked in my direction. In unison they all screamed “Girl DogDay is here!” I smiled sheepishly and waved at them. “Hi there....” Did these kids know about me? DogDay then put down some kids that he was holding and walked over to me. “Sorry about that Angel, I told them that I was getting a helper the other day and they have been wanting to see you.” “Oh, that’s fine. Hey um DogDay was it? Do you happen to know who my boss is by chance? I was told to meet them in here.” The kids behind Dogday started giggling. “You’re looking at him Angel!”  
Huh? He’s joking right? This dog looking mascot is my boss?! DogDay then picked me up and hugged me tight. “We’re going to have so much fun working together Angel.” I could hear his tail wagging back in forth. He put me down and led me to the rest of the kids. “Kids, we have a new face joining us today. Why don’t you introduce yourself to us Angel.” I suddenly felt nervous. All these little eyes staring at me so excitedly. “O-okay, um well hi, my name is Angel- wait no” the kids started laughing. That wasn’t my name but hearing DogDay call me that this whole time just slipped out. DogDay was even laughing. I blushed in embarrassment. I cleared my throat and continued. “My name is Y/N, but I guess you could also call me Angel. I like to read, draw, um I guess sing, but I haven’t done it in a while. Umm, I’m 20 years old and my birthday is on November 14th and that’s pretty much it I think.”  
DogDay clapped and soon the other kids followed his lead. “Well put Angel, now it’s my turn, though I think I’ll let the kids introduce me.” All at once the kids started yelling over each other to tell me about him. “He’s the leader of the Smiling Critters!” “He smells like vanilla!” “Super strong!” “DOGDAY CALLED YOU PRETTY!!” “Okay! Thank you, Damian, no need to shout now friend.” The shift in DogDays attitude changed, he was the one that seemed nervous now. The kid that was hiding with me was named Damian. Dogday then cleared his throat. “Let’s all go outside and wait for KickenChicken now alright?” The kids yelled in delight and pushed their way out of the Playhouse. 
It was now just me and DogDay. “So, um I’m guessing you picked me to work here?” I tried breaking the awkward silence between us. I decided to not bring up the fact that he called me pretty, too awkward right now. DogDay then seemed to snap back into his cheery self. “Yep! I looked through a lot of applicants, but yours stood out to me.” It’s amazing that a toy factory lets a toy pick out an employer. DogDay then grabbed my hand and led me outside. “Come on, I’ll give you a tour of the place Angel.” I smiled and went along with him. I could see myself liking it here.  
A/N: part 2 anyone?
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raconteur-wanpi · 6 months ago
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OK, but really, I'm genuinely so sad this fandom doesn't talk enough about Vinsmoke Reiju. She's legitimately one of my absolute favorite characters in the entire story and a lot of people don't see how absolutely tragic she is.
Just. She had to stay behind. She had to stay behind so Sanji can be free, she could never join him. She can only live her dreams of escaping her horrible, horrible family vicariously through him, the only person left in that household she loved. And she had to let him go. Because if she left, an army would follow behind her to get her back; she's a "success" after all. And also because she had already deemed herself a monster. After Sora died, Sanji was all Reiju had left. And then she was alone. Stuck with them for 13 years. Stuck with the wolves. The only way to survive being to mould herself after them.
From the beginning, it was never slip up, never make a mistake, always be perfect or you're next. Pretend to laugh at the misery of the only person in your family you haven't lost hope in, knowing that he might hate you forever after this, feeling like a coward. But you're a child. A mere child, a little 10-year-old girl, and you're scared. And she already saw herself as unworthy of that freedom at that age. She's not like Sanji, she was born to play the role of a monster. Even with her intact emotions, she's still trained soldier. She has the symbol of Germa tattooed on her, how could she ever escape it? She has blood on her hands; not because of her own choices, but because of the commands she's physically incapable of disobeying. She looks at him and tells him he looks so much like their mother, but she denies to accept that so does she.
She's the firstborn, dad's perfect little girl, his first success, his obedient property. The man who she grew to hate so much, when she found out he was going to be assassinated, she didn't warn him, because she hoped it would actually happen. Even if it meant throwing her own life away as well. When she saw him beg for his life she just, rightfully, felt no guilt or remorse. Just anger and satisfaction, even as she herself was about to die, something that seemed she wanted happen. But when he got attacked later on, she showed concern, because unlike Sanji, to her he still is, dad. He's dad, who held you and called you his wonderful child. He's dad, who raised you and showed pride in you. He's dad, who potentially put some sort of authority chip in your brain and forced you to stain your hands in blood. He's the man who killed your mother. She hates him. She wants him dead. She can't stop seeing him as family, and shows concern when he's hurt. It's more complex than how her brother sees him, and it's visceral and real and upsetting.
She had to stay behind. And after all of that, she had to relive the goodbye to the only person left in her family whom she ever loved. God. I hope she gets to see Sanji again. I hope she escapes. I hope one day she finally gets to taste his cooking. She never got the chance to do that, didn't she?
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apclyptc · 1 year ago
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TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN PT.2—matt ver.
foreword: please read the first part linked here for this to make any sense! i mean technically u could read it as a stand alone but it’s best read with part one 😇
warnings: nice little makeout sesh, fingering, love bites, praise, lots of praise, erm insert more warnings here
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
“i pick… matt.” you spoke.
matt’s eyes widened, but only for a moment. you suddenly felt like a fool, he was one of your best friends, you’d known him forever.
but at the same time, this had been a long time coming. it was going to happen sooner or later, right?
nate’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.
“i was not expecting that! i think this game has been my best idea ever so far.”
you rolled your eyes playfully, “don’t get so ahead of yourself, this game is still stupid. but i will admit that it has been funny.” you turned to matt again, his face unreadable and it made you nervous.
“so uh, which room are we even going in?” matt’s eyes averted from yours. oh god, is he going to let you down gently? was his hand on your thigh just a friendly pat and you’d read into it too much because you wanted him to touch you just once?
you’d simply die if that was the case. was it too late to choose waylon?
nate pointed towards upstairs. oh god.
“pick any room. well maybe not mine, i still have to sleep in it tonight.” nate winked, causing a few of the others to laugh.
“cmon, we’ll only be up there for ten minutes. don’t be ridiculous.” matt shrugged off his friend’s suggestive comment and stood from his chair, signalling you to stand too.
‘we’ll only be up there for ten minutes’. you wondered what you’d get up to if you had longer.
you followed matt up the stairs into what looked like a spare room, and he shut the door.
“nate has really outdone himself this time, don’t you think?” matt asked, as if he was putting himself off of an inevitable and awkward conversation.
“yeah… it almost makes me scared to think he’ll try to one-up this next time.” you responded. now that you were up here alone, you were realising the errors of your ways and you desperately wished that ten minutes would be over as quick as it started.
“listen, y/n. we’ve been friends for a long time now, so i understand if you want to just sit here and wait out the ten minutes.” he explained.
the way he worded it made it seem like he didn’t want to just sit here, but he was okay with it if you were.
surely not…
“we could do that,” you began, mentally noting that his face dropped ever so slightly, “or maybe we could… never mind.” you realised half way through your reply that you couldn’t bear to hear yourself say the words to him.
but matt wasn’t going to let that happen, not now, knowing that maybe what he was feeling was reciprocated.
“we could what?” he stepped closer to you, the room feeling smaller than it was when you first walked in.
“it doesn’t matter, it was stupid.” your breath hitched in your throat, he was getting closer and closer to you until there was barely any space left between you.
“tell me. i just want to hear you say it, once.” matt’s hand came up to rest on the side of your neck, the hand that was adding pressure to your thigh not long ago.
“i mean, it’s just a game, right? so we could… just…” you trailed off as his lips came into contact with yours. it was a soft, slow kiss, that melted your brain into mush.
“this isn’t just a game to me.” he spoke before reconnecting his lips to yours. soft and slow was no longer how your kiss could be described. no, this time it was desperate, charged, with clanging teeth and roaming hands.
you couldn’t believe one silly card game could put you in such a position.
matt walked you to the edge of the bed, sitting both of you down and placing his hand back on your thigh. you pressed them together, trying to distract yourself from the arousal that was no doubt pooling underneath your skirt.
pulling away from you, he mumbled, “i was hoping you felt the same way.”
the needy expression on your face was more than enough of an indicator, but if there was any doubt in his mind, it was instantly quelled when you took his hand and let him touch the dampness of your underwear. he sighed with want, dragging his fingers along the wet spot.
“please, we don’t have long.” you pleaded, and who was he to deny you?
tugging the waistband of your panties down your legs, he admired the glistening of your pussy, begging to be touched.
“so pretty.” a single finger swiped at your core, and you let out a short breath.
matt slowly increased his pace, stroking up and down at your leaking cunt, as if mesmerised by it.
truth be told, he couldn’t believe such a thing was happening. he’d had only the smallest of feelings for you when you were younger, but they had quickly blossomed into something much more, or rather they had torpedoed into a carnal desire for you once you had traded hoodies for tube tops.
he couldn’t control his urges for you any more than you could.
“matt,” you pleaded again, aching for more, “please.”
matt could cum solely from the sounds escaping your throat alone, but he had decided to use his ten minutes to make you feel good rather than himself.
using his fingers already coated in your slick, he pushed them inside you. the moan you let out had surprised the both of you, and you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, letting your other stabilise yourself on his shoulder.
“keep quiet, you don’t want everyone downstairs to hear, do you?” he spoke softly, and you weren’t sure if he actually wanted an answer to his question, though you weren’t in any position to answer. you were too focused on muffling your moans with your hand.
just like he had done downstairs, matt attached his lips to your neck, leaving another bite next to the other, this one darker than the first.
he pulled his head back to admire his work.
“i’d love to cover you in these,” he continued thrusting his fingers into you, “they suit you.”
you felt a twang in your stomach.
“you, fuck, you should leave them in places where no one can see but you.” you panted, struggling to speak without whining expletives.
“yeah? you want that?” matt glanced down at where his hand connected with your pussy, and used his thumb to touch your clit.
“ohhh fuck, yes i want that, keep doing that.” you felt yourself already slipping over the edge, getting closer and closer to sweet release.
“knock knock!” nate’s voice taunted from outside the room as he thudded on the door, “times up!”
you instantly felt embarrassed. did he hear all of that?
“i guess we weren’t quick enough.” matt pulled his fingers out of you.
“yeah i guess no-” your words were cut short by matt sticking the fingers that were just inside of you, into your mouth.
“clean my fingers for me, would you? i got them all messy.” he smirked at the implications of his words.
you did as you were told and licked your own arousal off his hand, feeling your cunt clench.
“there’s a good girl.”
straightening yourself out, you opened the door to a beaming nate.
“so? did you keep my sheets clean?” he asked.
“shut up, dude. we didn’t even do anything.” matt denied, walking past nate and back downstairs with you to the others.
nate followed behind, “then how come y/n has another hickey?”
like a deer in headlights, you stopped in your tracks.
“no comment.”
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
a/n oh my god this is so so so ass. this is what i get for getting drunk instead of updating and having to rush writing this bc everyone’s waiting.
regardless, i hope it was worth the wait! now all i have to do is write the whole chris chapter and pray it doesn’t come out as terribly as this
bye….
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© APCYLPTC 2023. do not repost, translate, or duplicate any of my works here or any other websites.
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takemetomyfragiledreams · 2 months ago
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@monkess requested soft kissing and my brain just ran with it. this is post-mastermind
To the outside world, Blitzø is not soft. Loud? Yes. Abrasive? Always. But soft?As if. He's bristling spines and bared teeth. A dog that learned how to bite first, canines locked firmly around a fragile neck.
There are very few people that can make him feel settled enough to relax the front. Fizz, once they got over their past misunderstanding and fell back into easy friendship. Mox and Millie, who he took under his wing and who understand him on a fundemental level. Loona, who stole his heart the moment he saw her snarling and alone in the back of a kennel.
Before Stolas, that would have been the end to the list. For a long time, even, it was. And then came Stolas' confession. Asmodeous' crystal. Their fight. The party. The month of drowning the complex twist of feelings in junk food and bad TV. The trial.
Almost dying put a lot of things into perspective. Watching Stolas take his place? It was like being drenched in ice cold water, drowned, electrocuted and then set ablaze.
In other words: painful, traumatizing and so ridiculous he might have laughed if he hadn't been busy sobbing first.
Realizing that they could have seperated forever on bad terms, that Stolas had been willing to die for him even after everything he'd said, had collapsed any of the walls that had remained between him and his feelings.
He was an idiot.
An idiot with a very lost and alone bird to take care of. Which, as it turned out, came surprisingly easily. Taking care of Stolas, that is. He's done a lot of things to Stolas in bed. He's used teeth and claws, gone at him with knives and beartraps, the list goes on. He is used to being cruel in all the ways that please. But he finds he is suddenly reluctant to be anything other than gentle.
He helps Stolas groom the stuff that gets thrown at him out of his feathers—after putting a bullet through the offenders' skull; most people caught on quick not to fuck with his bird—gives him blankets and pillows to build his nest; even brings home shitty plants for him to nurse back to health. He teaches him how to cook the basics, explains who and what to avoid now that he's not living safe in a palace.
Taking care of Stolas is not the chore he once thought it would be. It lightens something in him every time the heavy cloud of depression parts to let Stolas smile or hoot in laughter. He feels good whenever Stolas rambles excitedly about the plants in the apartment, or when he tucks himself up in Blitzø's office to read through the paperwork Moxxie is finally relieved of.
For a while, it's enough. He tells himself it has to be enough. Stolas is in a vulnerable position and now is not the time for Blitzø to fuck it all up with his feelings. He's an asshole but he's not that much of an asshole. He thinks.
Then, one day, he finds himself staring at Stolas, eyes gone wide and body unnaturally still. His cheek is still warm from where Stolas kissed him and his ears still ring with the sound of Stolas calling him darling.
Fuck, he's missed that. How long has it been since he heard Stolas practically sing endearments? Too fucking long, that's for sure.
It's clearly taken Stolas by surprise too, by the way he's standing just as frozen, still half bent towards Blitzø. His face is slowly turning red, the shock white of his pupils shifting about the room almost frantically.
"I—I'm so sorry, I've overstepped, I don't know what came over me—"
Blitzø is still staring at him.
Stolas straightens and backs towards the door. His paperwork is inside Blitzø's office so where he's going is anybody's guess. He's grounded though, with no magic and no way to fly. He can't outrun Blitzø. Not like this.
There's a shrieking, undignified noise torn free from Stolas' beak when Blitzø pounces. He gets a hand behind Stolas' head before they hit the ground, keeping his pretty brains from being rattled. Stolas is so lanky that his legs knock against the door and send a picture frame clattering to the ground. It's a special edition horse club collectors item but in this moment Blitzø could care less about the fucking thing.
"Stolas," he finally says, tail twitching slowly behind. "Pretty bird."
Stolas' beak snaps shut with a loud click. His normally white face is nearly crimson. He's big enough to push Blitzø off but he just lays there, talons opening and closing out of pure nerves.
"Blitzø," he croaks out. "What are you…" He trails off as Blitzø leans in closer, eyes gone wide and pupils blown out.
"Really wanna kiss you," Blitzø admits. "The things ya do to me, birdie, christ on a stick."
Stolas warbles.
"Been trying to be good, but good's really not my style. Then you—" his spines shiver as he forces himself to take a breath. His claws dig into the floor. "You gotta tell me if you're just fuckin' around here, Stols."
"I'm not, I—" Stolas swallows. He looks uncertain and so far from brave but he still lifts his chin in determination. It's part of what Blitzø loves about him. That even when scared and completely out of his element, Stolas still goes for what he wants. "I'm not 'fucking around', as you put it. I meant it when I said always."
A low growl rumbles up from Blitzø's chest. "You said you'd always save my life."
He smiles helplessly. "The reason was rather implied, darling. I'm afraid my heart is yours, whether you want it or not."
Blitzø's growl rises in volume, until he's practically thrumming with it. His tail lashes as he bends the last few inches to claim Stolas' mouth. For all the tension in them both, for all the time that's passed, it is not hot and heavy as expected. It's slow and desperate, a reminder that they have been here before, that they are both alive and have made it back to one another once more.
"Mine is yours too," he gets out. "It's a fuckin' shitty ass prize but you got it."
Finally, those talons slip up his back, smoothing down his spines in slow delicate lines. His eyes slit as he purrs so hard it shakes his entire body.
Stolas lets out a soft hoot of delighted laughter. "I confess, I've never won anything before. I quite like this prize."
"Yeah, well, good," he mutters, as he nuzzles in close. "Not getting rid of me now, birdie."
Long arms fold around him, eliminating what little space remains between their bodies. "Good," Stolas sighs.
Drop me a stolitz prompt in my ask box and I might write it.
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desparaic · 3 months ago
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To Hearken that Dreadful Silence - Muzan X Reader
Short drabble, somewhat of a sequel to "To Kill My Melody" but can be read as a standalone. Reincarnation AU.
Read To Kill My Melody here
TW: Angst, self-unalive, death, canon divergent where Muzan wins
You have lost.
The demon slayer corps have lost.
Here you were, legs trembling from exhaustion and endless injuries, knees and tip of sword digging into the bloodied dirt, all before the fully awakened demon king, his body spasming, dark blood coursing visibly through his veins, as he relish the newfound power of conquering the sun after eating the younger Kamado sibling.
You couldn't take your eyes off him. Not because you don't want to— rather that if you do, you'll have to face countless bodies of your comrades scattered around you. You still vividly remember the head of the water hashira, who you considered as your friend once upon a time, flying across your sight. The last time you've seen Sanemi, and that Kamado boy, they were missing limbs, and losing blood on parts that shouldn't be hit or punctured at all.
All you could hear was silence.
You're the only one left alive.
Someone? Anyone? Please, even just a groan of pain, a shallow breath— anything to indicate you're not the only one alive.
But as you hear the grotesque shifting of that…— that monster's body, adapting to the newly acquired power—
All you could hear was despair.
"Finally... Finally..."
... That monster finally spoke up, grinning and reveling in the moment. A ray of orange came out from the sky, bringing light. Then another. That used to bring you hope, relief, knowing that the fight would finally be over but—
"Aahh... To conquer the light of the sun... To walk in the day once again...!"
That hope is long gone.
He laughs. Laughs maniacally. Laughs so much it made your ears bleed. How dare he. How dare he stand tall and proud among the corpses of your comrades, of your allies. How dare he laugh at your misery. The mere sight of him, the mere sound of his breathing disgusts you.
And yet you can't take your eyes off him.
You've failed. Your sword cannot take his life, your only hope was the sun to burn him alive, but now that he has conquered it, he truly has become immortal.
His piercing red eyes turned to you, a foreign emotion swimming within.
"My love, oh my love, how I've waited for you to come back to me..."
He walked toward you, arms wide open as if he was awaiting a hug from you, "Finally... I have everything I have been waiting for, been looking for. I have achieved immortality and perfection..."
He stops at a distance away.
"and I finally have you by my side again."
Nausea builds up your throat. How dare he. How dare he even look at your way— how dare he utter even a single word right at you. He deserved to die in the worst way, boiled alive in acid, have his limbs torn to shreds—
In your blinding anger, you failed to register the hand resting on your cheek.
"So long I have waited for you to come back to me... I knew you wouldn't leave me all alone forever..."
What is he even talking about.
"Of course... You'll come back to me. You always do. You love me, after all."
Why is he lying. Why does he act as if he knows you.
"I'm sorry, (Y/n). I was a fool not to give you the love you deserved."
How does he know your name.
"But now we can finally be together forever. I can give you my blood! We will be equal!"
Why is he still talking to you. Stop talking, stop breathing. Just drop dead, die, die, die—
Wait— is he touching you?
Finally, you notice the ever-freezing, yet burning, touch on your cheek. You smacked it away, daring to challenge the devil of death before you with that bold act.
Yet, he remained unfazed, though his smile dropped, "I understand this may seem confusing. You don't remember, do you? That's fine. Once I share my blood with you, I'll make you remember with my memories. Perhaps I can even dig into your brain to stimulate it, maybe then it will uncover the memories of your past life— our shared life."
You jumped back, while slashing your sword across his abdomen. But of course, that is but a mere scratch, perhaps even less, to him. Even before you finished your attack, it had already healed.
There's truly no hope for you.
"Come now. It'll only be a while. It will hurt, that I cannot deny, but it is for the better," he stated, slowly walking toward you.
No. No. Whatever he was spewing about— that past life or whatnot— you don't care. All you care about is not falling into the hands of this monster. It's clear to you now he won't kill you, but rather to keep you by his side for whatever sick reasons he has.
That, you argue, is worse than death.
Perhaps, in another life, you would avenge your comrades, you would inflict every pain, every suffering that the monster has caused back to him. In another life.
But for now…
With no hesitation, with firm resolve, you smiled. A venomous, bitter smile— one that is alien to Muzan, so much so that he froze.
What a horrible expression painted on a canva he knew to be so innocent and beautiful long ago.
"I hope life gives you far worse torture than death, Kibutsuji Muzan. I will make sure your wish for immortality becomes your curse."
And with that, with the last of your strength as a hashira, you sliced your sword through your neck.
And for some reason, death sounds like a familiar tune to you.
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plussizefantasia · 4 months ago
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CozyTober Day 3: Chilly Fall Day
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Eddie Munson x gf!reader
wc: ~ 0.9k
warnings: none
a/n: I haven't for Eddie in so long so forgive me if he's kind of ooc. Thanks for reading, if you liked the story reblog so more people can see it! I'll see y'all tomorrow for day 4!
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You loved spending time with your boyfriend, honestly, you really couldn’t spend enough time with him in your opinion. Which means you need to take all the moments you get. Even if it means eating your lunch outside on an old picnic table while your breath clouds out in front of you. Eddie had offered you his jacket but you declined, you love Eddie with all your heart but he has no meat on his bones and you don’t want to be responsible for getting him sick especially because you’ll be the one who has to take care of him if he does.
It is quiet out here, peaceful. You don’t have to worry about Jason and his cronies. You don’t have to put up with the gossiping gaggle of cheerleaders and you definitely don’t have to breathe in the cloud of B.O. that seems to coat the whole cafeteria. It’s nice out here, fresh and relaxing. Well as relaxing as spending time with Eddie ever is.
Currently, he is ten minutes into a vivid explanation of his plan for the Hellfire Club session this week. He said he wants your input on some of the puzzles he’s going to use to trap the party and hold them in the labyrinth he had created. You’re lying with your back on the table, staring up into the sky. In the corner of your vision;  the yellows and oranges of the tall oak trees that boarded the school property dance and sway. And straight above you is the blank canvas of the sky. It looks dreary from this angle, grey and muted; a complete antithesis to the bright blues of only a month ago.
“Do you think a math question is too easy, babe? If it was just the old guys I wouldn’t be worried but that new kid Dustin is pretty smart he might be able to chew right through it.”
“I don’t know Eds how hard do you want the puzzle to be?” You ask. 
“Well, I don’t want them to get stuck forever and die ‘cause what the fun in that ya know? But I do want there to be some stakes.”
“What if you did a riddle? Like a really hard one. Maybe a Shakespeare reference? I can let you borrow some of my anthologies.” 
“Hmm, maybe. I don’t know I guess I’m just worried that the campaign is getting lame.”
“Why would it be lame?” You sit up and look at him raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. But there was this one kid who came with the new guys. I think his name was Carl or something but he keeps ditching us for basketball practice and I’m like… am I not making it fun enough?”
“Eddie, baby. You’re an amazing dungeon master. Who cares what some freshman thinks of your campaign? Especially if he’s choosing to hang out with Jason in his free time, obviously he’s got issues.” You deadpan. You will not let some snot nose thirteen year old make Eddie feel like shit. 
“God babe you always know what to say to get my brain to stop going like ninety miles a second.” Eddie pops up from his own reclined position and leans into your space to plant a big wet kiss on your cheek, equally endearing as it is kind of gross.
“I know. It’s like my superpower.” You wiggle your fingers at your boyfriend and raise an eyebrow at him. You both fall into laughter. 
“You look nice with leaves in your hair.” He changes the subject.
“I have leaves in my hair?!” Your hands shoot up to the crown of your head and search for the offending foliage. You find three and rip them out with a ferocity not exactly warranted. 
Eddie, the bastard just sits there laughing at you and doing not a damn thing to help. A thought pops into your mind. You stand up and hop down from the bench. Your boots crunching the leaves where you land. 
Eddie, still occupied with laughing his stupid butt off doesn’t pick up on your plan for revenge. You bend over and scoop into your own arms, a pile of leaves from the ground. Turning abruptly and throwing them up into the air above Eddie. They rain down on him, covering his hair and shoulders, falling into his lap and even sticking to his socks. His laugh peters off at the same time yours erupts from your gut. 
Eddie tries to stop the smile from spreading across his face when he takes in your relaxed pose and the sound of your laughter. He stands up and raises an eyebrow at you. 
When you see the mischief on his face your laugh stops and you begin to take careful steps away from him. Eddie, not waiting a second longer practically launches himself from the table and onto the ground. Seconds later he has tackled you towards the ground, flipping the two of you at the last second so you land on his chest. 
One, or two seconds go by before you both start laughing once more, much calmer this time. You stare into each other's eyes and help to pick the leaves out of each other's hair. 
Yeah… spending time with Eddie really is your favorite thing.
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thewalrusespublicist · 2 months ago
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Went to see Paul last night. I’m still on cloud 9 and can’t articulate anything so here are some disparate thoughts in no particular order:
The last hour is non stop banger after banger so if he tours again go to the bathroom BEFORE (missed Obla di 😭😭)
I like Come on to Me, sue me 
The crowd took a bit to warm up which was very annoying like c’mon even Jet they were mid energy (it got way better by the end)
Oh Darling playing before he came on in the context of all the Get Back graphics on stage made me suddenly very tinhat about that song. Not that they did it on purpose ofc but my brain connecting the contextual images and the lyrics was… well. All interpretation of course!
Not a big response to I’ve just seen a Face or Drive my Car! Incorrect crowd again. 
I loved In Spite of All the Danger. It got me weirdly emotional though with it being the first song they recorded and it having the line ‘I would do anything for you’ and the last words John said about Paul reportedly being ‘I would do anything for him’. Again not saying the initial song is about each other, it’s just one of the cosmos’ tragic little bookends 
Have the lyrics to Let Me Roll It been officially changed from she to he? Because it was he again tonight. I wasn’t hearing for it but it shot out when he sang it.
The graphics could do with some work, Paul you’re a billionaire gets some people on that. Though Get Back just being everyone smiling in the studio was so cute.
Reminded once again that McBeardy was the hottest man alive.
Weird that Something got a montage of George but Maybe I’m Amazed and Here Today had no pictures of Linda or John. I can see why with Linda in terms of jt being awkward for Nancy but still.
Hey Jude lasts forever but it was magic and I wanted it to go on longer. 
Paul forgot My Valentine and thought the guy reminding him was showing him a heart to say he loved him lmaoooo. He added it back in but it was wild to go from My Valentine to Maybe I’m Amazed. (Also why was Johnny Depp there?!!)
Paul was at his cuntiest and it was so funny. Just casually mocking peoples whooping and I love you’s (alpha bitch is at it again). 
Whoever that guy in the audience was that had gone 135 times I salute you. Wish it could be me. 
1985!!! My soul left my body my hands started seizing it was so SO good. 
Jet is a banger, sorry to that crowd I had a great time.
The girls with the ‘I love you more than yesterday’ sign I know what you are and you are so funny for that. 
Cried and beamed at Now and Then, it hits different in the arena (and a crowd favourite). It obviously means so much to Paul as well. Just emotional all round. 
Live and Let die is incredible but Paul the fire!!! The banging!! I was so stressed the entire time, how can he still hear?
HELTER SKELTER
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime for those who enjoy whimsy (Paul telling the kids they did great was cute as hell) 
Ohhh that last medley really got to me (carry that weight…)
As a lot of others have said Paul’s voice is inconsistent. Sometimes it’s great and you can’t believe he’s doing it and other times he shows his age. 
Which brings me to…
I’m not sure Here Today would stay on the set list if it wasn’t the song for John. In fact I’m certain it would be off it as it’s too hard for Paul to sing now. That being said, I think he may have broke down a bit. I wish I had videod it because either he did the ‘no, no, no’ that he’s done the past couple of performances or it was just a singular emotional no. I can’t remember which but It took me off guard and it didn’t seem intentional. :(( Edit: seen it again by people who have kindly posted it online and it was just him struggling with the notes, yay for video, not yay for Paul’s vocal chords).
I did laugh when Paul was talking about telling people you love them and the crowd just started screaming I LOVE YOU at him like it’s not what he means guys.
Overall 10/10 one of the best nights of my life. 
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the-dreadful-bard · 6 months ago
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As suggested by an anon, I wrote a oneshot based on one of my rejanis text memes. Here it is. No title because I'd rather die than pick titles for fics. Lmk what you think if you read it <3
Warnings: light sub/dom dynamics if you look too closely????, pretty obvious praise kink, Regina has bad thoughts, all that and there's not even smut in this??? Pairing: Regina/Janis Based on this:
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Janis drives at the speed limit, her heart pounding against her ears as her thoughts run rampant. Did Regina really mean what she said? She needs to take the chance, there's no way she's losing an opportunity like that. If she's being messed with, she'll get mad at herself (and at Regina) later, not now. Now, it's time to take the leap. 
Her blood is rushing and she feels apprehensive about what she's about to do. She parks her car in Regina's driveway and has to will her heart to stop running, but she fails pathetically. She checks her reflection, making sure she looks acceptable, before getting out of the car and sending another text to Regina, even though her hands are shaking so hard she can barely hold her phone right.
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Janis anxiously makes her way to the door of the large George household, waiting for Regina's response. She doesn't get anything back for a while. She waits a bit, shifting her stance every few seconds, and when she's ready to turn around and leave, the door opens, revealing a surprised-looking Regina George, who can't stop the nervous laugh that comes out of her lips as soon as she sees Janis standing there. 
“You actually came,” Regina says, with disbelief in her voice.
Janis scratches the back of her neck, face flushing as she takes in the sight in front of her. Regina is wearing pajamas. She clearly didn't expect visitors. Was she bluffing?
“Oh. I did. Should I go and pretend this never happened?” She asks, gesturing back to the car parked a few feet away. Her heart still won't stop pounding like crazy.
“No! I just thought you were playing around.” 
Regina's voice sounds softer than usual, which makes Janis even more nervous. She's so… 
“And I thought you might be messing with me,” Janis interjects.
Regina shakes her head and steps closer to her guest, who shivers. 
“I don't do that anymore. Not with you. I'm trying to be better, you know. To be honest about… how I feel. I was flirting. For real. I didn't know if you would believe me but a part of me really hoped you would.”
Again, Regina's voice makes Janis' whole body quiver. She looks up into those deep blue eyes that show vulnerability for the first time in what feels like forever. She didn't think she'd ever see that Regina again. Not even after they made up and stopped “hating” each other. It's thrilling. 
Janis finds herself filled with confidence. Regina was flirting with her. But did she mean what she said? Janis smiles shyly, trying not to lose her nerve.
“Well, am I getting the kiss you promised or nah?” She manages to ask, feeling proud of herself for not stuttering or choking on her words.
A smile takes over Regina's lips and she plays with her hair for a moment while taking a quick look around before touching Janis' cheek and pressing a quick kiss to her lips.
It's over before Janis' brain can even register the fact that she's being kissed, and Regina stares back at her with a tiny grin. Janis tilts her head and pouts. 
“That was way too quick, I could barely even feel it!” She complains.
Regina chuckles, running her fingers through her hair.
“Fair. Come in, I don't want my creepy neighbors watching us.” She says, grabbing Janis by the hand and pulling her until they're standing inside the house. 
Regina slams the door behind them and pushes Janis' back against it, grinning as she stands dangerously close to her and raises an eyebrow as if challenging her to make the move this time.
Janis gets on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around Regina's neck before kissing her with obvious desire. The blonde lets out a low moan when Janis pulls on her hair.
“Oh, you like that, don't you?” Janis teases.
“Shut up.” Regina protests, face flushing in a way that's actually adorable.
“Make me.”
That's all she needs to hear before kissing Janis again. 
They kiss for what feels like hours, discovering numerous new ways to make the other blush, until they separate with heavy breaths and ridiculously dilated pupils. Janis' legs feel like jello, and Regina's heart won't slow down.
“So… about that other thing you said earlier…” Janis says, holding onto Regina by the waist and looking up into her eyes adoringly.
“Oh, that. You think you're being a good girl?” The blonde inquires, smirking.
How she loves having Janis in the palm of her hand like this... It feels inebriating. She can't believe it took her so long to realize what her fucking problem was. If only she knew that before wasting so much of her time with mediocre guys. 
Janis rolls her eyes and gives her a pointed look. “You think I'm not? What else do I possibly need to do? Kneel? Do you want me to beg for you? Because that's a little mean, don't you think? Especially coming from someone who's already humiliated me plenty.” 
That makes Regina reconsider her strategy. Maybe Janis is right. Maybe, after all she's done… she should be the one begging.
She sighs, straightening her back. “You know what? You make a great fucking point. Let's change things up, kay?” 
With that, while keeping direct eye contact with Janis, Regina kneels down at her feet.
“Better?” 
She takes one of Janis' hands and kisses it, then positions it on the back of her head, wrapping her fingers around her blonde locks.
Janis struggles not to completely lose her shit at the image she sees. Regina George, on her knees for her, looking up at her with those blue eyes, her lips slightly open. It's truly a sight to behold.
“Do you like me like this, Jay? What d'you wanna do to me? I'm at your mercy, come on. Take me, boss me around, shut me up. Do what you've always wanted to do to me.”
That voice. Janis feels like she's on top of the world. She can't believe Regina would just give her so much power. With her other hand, she touches the blonde's cheek gently.
“Is this what you want?”
She would never put Regina in this position without her consent. She still feels bad about her revenge and how the girl died for fifteen seconds right in front of her not even a full year ago.
“I want you to want me,” Regina whispers, so soft she can barely hear it.
Janis sighs, rubbing her thumb over the soft skin under her touch.
“I do. More than I should,” she confesses.
“Then take me. Show me what I've been missing. Show me how to atone for what I've done to you. Punish me.”
Regina's entire body is in flames. She needs Janis. She can't handle it anymore. She's always wanted her. She doesn't know how to stop thinking about her eyes and her lips and the way her nose scrunches. She can't stop thinking about having Janis all to herself.
“You've been punished enough. What if I reward you instead? After all, you're a really good girl now, aren't you?” Janis asks, smirking as she finally finds the right thing to say. 
Regina's pupils dilate even wider as she takes in Janis' words. She nods, still staring into big brown eyes eagerly.
“I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you are.”
Regina tries to will the words out of her mouth, but there's something stopping her. She doesn't believe she's good. Not even now. She still feels like she's rotten to the core and undeserving of love. Undeserving of Janis.
“I- I don't know if I can.” 
Her voice breaks. 
Damn. That little voice in her head speaks up like it always does whenever she feels inappropriate. She tries to ignore it, but it knows her too well, it is her. It knows just how to affect her.
Congrats, Regina! You can't even do the most basic shit, like saying four words to please the girl you like. How pathetic. How long will it take for her patience to run out and for her to give up on you? After all, you gave up on her first, didn't you? You ruined her just like you ruin everything you touch. You'll never amount to anything. You'll always be a sad little rich girl with nobody to play with.
The look in Regina's eyes makes Janis' heart break. She has a fair idea about what must be going through the girl's head. Regina's always been easy to read when she wasn't pretending. Her eyes hide deep emotional turmoil from those who don't know her like the back of their hands. Like Janis knows her. She shakes her hand and crouches down so she's close to Regina's ear. 
“I know you can.” 
She presses a kiss on her cheek. 
“You're such a good girl, Gina. Being honest and open and offering me so much... that's a lot more than the old Regina would ever give me.” 
She leaves a kiss on the girl's forehead. 
“But it's okay. You don't have to say it. Not today. I'll make you say it eventually, though. I'll get you to believe it if you let me.” 
Janis lifts Regina's face and kisses her before straightening herself again.
“Get up.”
The blonde looks up at her with something that seems like sadness and confusion in her eyes. Janis doesn't want her anymore, does she? Because Regina failed. And of course, she'd fail, she can't ever do anything right.
“But-”
Janis shakes her head and holds Regina's face again.
“It was incredibly sexy to see you like this, but I think we should go to your room.” 
Those words ignite the hope inside her again and muffle down the noise in her head.
Janis helps Regina up and pulls her by the hand. She still remembers how to get to the girl's bedroom. Regina lets herself be guided, in silence as she still tries to come to terms with the fact that Janis might still want her. 
As soon as they get to the bedroom, Regina stares at the other girl with a question in her eyes, suddenly shy and nervous, which is a sight that Janis finds herself weirdly enjoying.
“What is it, Gina?” She asks, embracing the girl in front of her around the neck in a way she hopes seems casual. She's not sure she's ready for her to know just how much she actually cares.
“Are we still…” She trails off, avoiding Janis' eyes. She might seem like the most confident bitch alive, but Janis has always been her weakness.
“That depends on you, princess. I'm down for whatever you want to do. But we can also take a rain check and cuddle in bed for tonight, maybe make out for a while, I might let you get to second base if you behave. You know… take our time. But I mean, that's assuming you're not looking for a one-night stand, which-”
“I'm not! I want to see where this goes.” Regina interjects, unwilling to let Janis think even for a second that this is a one-time thing for her. 
Janis smiles softly, then gets on her tiptoes to kiss Regina with no rush. “Do you like me?”
That makes the blonde frown, confused. She thought it was obvious by now. How can't she tell?
“Uh, I'm starting to question your intelligence. Do you really need to ask? Of course I fucking like you, Janis. I got on my knees for you.”
Janis chuckles, enjoying being so close to Regina after having convinced herself she would never get this. 
“I wanted to hear you say it out loud. I mean, you already figured me out, you know I've been trying to suppress my feelings for you by giving you a hard time. No use denying it now.” She admits, smiling shyly at Regina, who squeezes her around the waist and leans down to kiss her soundly.
“That's good to know. Can you stay the night? We haven't shared a bed in forever. I, uh, I guess I missed you. And maybe you're right, maybe we should really savor this before going all the way. I mean, that would be different from what I usually do, which could be... I don't know, nice? Don't get me wrong, I'm-”
"Hey. It's okay. I know what you mean."
For some reason, hearing Regina say all that makes Janis feel more confident about whatever they're doing. It gives her the impression that she might be serious about this.
Janis grins, “And of course I can stay. Do you have some clothes I can borrow? I don't really feel like sleeping in jeans.”
Regina nods before letting go of Janis and walking away, only to return a moment later with sweatpants and a cozy-looking shirt. She hands them to Janis.
“Should I get changed here or...”
“I'll turn around.” She says, doing as promised, except... there's a mirror right there, which she obviously knew about. She winks at Janis through the reflection, and the girl, smirking, turns around, taking her shirt off and exposing her back to Regina, who can't take her eyes off the mirror. 
Soon enough, Janis is wearing Regina's clothes, which brings her back to years in the past before everything changed between them. It's bittersweet. But she likes where they are now. She just hates that it took them hurting each other so much before they could get there.
Regina gets under the covers and gestures for Janis to join her, which she does. She snuggles into her and presses her head against her chest, the thrumming of her heart bringing her peace. Janis gently runs her fingers through Regina's long blonde hair. 
“This is really nice,” Regina whispers, a few seconds later, eyes closed, truly enjoying their closeness and the way Janis touches her.
She hums in agreement, not stopping her gentle caresses on Regina's scalp. 
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” The blonde speaks up again, incredibly relaxed. Only Janis could get her to slow down this way. She's missed everything about this. About her.
“Not really. Why?”
“Let me take you out. On a date.” 
Regina can feel it as Janis' heart speeds up. She smiles to herself. 
“Oh! Really?” Janis asks, genuinely surprised. She didn't expect Regina to be so direct so fast, she thought for sure she would be the one having to make those moves. She's not displeased, though. As a matter of fact, she's excited. Giddy, one could say.
“Yeah, really. I told you I wanna see where this goes. I've never gone on a date with a girl before and I'm used to not putting in any effort with guys. They're easy, but boring. You… you're worth the effort.” 
Janis leans down to kiss Regina on the forehead, unable to stop herself from showing her affection. It feels so unbelievably nice to be with her like this.
“My answer is yes. But can I ask... When did you find out about how you feel?”
“About you?” Regina inquires.
Janis nods, making a little humming noise like she's saying yes. Regina fully knows the answer to her question, she's just unsure how the girl will react to that information.
“You're not gonna believe me.”
“Try me, I might.”
Regina sighs, resigning herself to her fate. She won't lie to Janis. It would be a terrible way to start a potential relationship.
“At first, I got really jealous when I saw you with Cady in the cafeteria. I wanted to take her from you. And then I wanted to take Aaron from her. Because if I couldn't be happy, nobody could. And I wasn't happy, no matter who I dated or what I did. I had no idea why- thought I was just not meant for happiness or love.”
Janis stays in silence, intently listening to Regina's confession. She had theorized that the blonde had a crush on Cady in the past. She never thought she was the one Regina might have wanted.
“I ignored it. Ignored how I felt when you and I kissed, ignored how I felt whenever I saw you since we stopped being friends—I couldn't think about you, it was dangerous in my head. Then I died.”
Janis' grip on Regina gets tighter then. She hates remembering that. The sight of her former childhood friend lying on the ground, bloody and broken. Not breathing. It still haunts her in her dreams sometimes. 
“You know, you were actually the last thing I remember seeing before I lost consciousness. And it felt like ages went by, and all I could think about was how I was going to die right there, with you hating me.”
Regina stops for a second, absorbing the heaviness of her own words. She's still not completely sure what happened that day. She doesn't remember much about the accident. Janis' arms feel even tighter around her, grounding her. That's what inner peace must feel like, she wonders. Being in the arms of someone you love, knowing they love you back. Maybe someday she might have that. This is the closest she's ever felt to it.
“When I woke up, it was like my brain was knocked into place, I guess. Everything felt different. I dreamed about you when I was in my coma, which is insane.”
That surprises Janis. The idea of Regina dreaming about her while she was fighting for her life is so… it is insane. She never would have guessed it.
“I dreamed that we were talking in the restroom during spring fling and I came out to you. I dreamed that you visited me almost every day while I was recovering. Those all felt like different realities, in a sense. It would never happen for real. It didn't happen, but this... this feels pretty close to those dreams.”
She sighs before continuing. “I think… the accident knocked out the part of me that was able to compartmentalize what I felt about you. Because when I woke up, I couldn't stop thinking about you. About what I did to you, and what you did to me, and how I needed to fix things. And when we did talk, when we agreed to forgive each other and see where that would take us, I found myself wanting to be around you more and more.”
Regina trails off for a second and lifts her head to watch Janis, who looks back at her silently and nods as if to encourage her to keep going.
“I don't know exactly when I started liking you. I can't fucking tell. Maybe I've felt this way forever and never knew on a conscious level. But I thought I would never get you the way I wanted you, I mean, I thought you still hated me until an hour ago.”
Janis gasps. “You did?”
That makes Regina chuckle amusedly and roll her eyes.
“Can you blame me? I was trying to send you a cute text earlier and you told me to shut the fuck up.”
Janis sighs, admitting to herself that Regina's perception makes a lot of sense. Sometimes she acts before she thinks. Maybe that's something she should work on.
“I don't know why I say the things I say sometimes. Well, this time specifically, I didn't want to listen because I was scared my brain would catch up to the fact that I could never really get over you. But I was, uh, I was surprised by your response.”
Regina's expression turns into a shy smile. She gently leans closer to Janis' lips, giving her the chance to push her away if she wants to, but she doesn't, so she kisses her softly before speaking up again.
“Yeah, I was being hopeful, though I fully expected you to tell me to fuck off. But when you didn't… I had to try and see what I could get away with. When I saw your text saying you were at the door I was really fucking shocked.”
Janis holds both sides of Regina's face and pulls her in for another unrushed kiss. She still feels warm and her heart shows no sign of calming down. This feels surreal to her. She really is in Regina George’s bed, lazily making out with her, after an insane turn of events that likely would never happen if they weren't so efficient at matching each other's freak.
“Oh, I wouldn't wanna waste an opportunity like that, ‘you kidding me? I'm glad you weren't messing with me, that would have been really embarrassing.” Janis admits when they separate a minute or so later.
“And I'm glad you came,” Regina reveals, kissing Janis’ neck. “I really wanna kiss you for like eighteen hours nonstop but I'm really tired and my back is killing me, so can we do that tomorrow?”
Janis leisurely runs her fingers through Regina's hair. “Of course. Do you take anything for the pain?”
“Sometimes. But right now I'm too lazy and cold to get up and take it so we're just gonna hope I'll wake up feeling better.”
Janis won't accept that. Not while she's around. “No, ma'am. What do you need? I can get it for you.”
Regina's heart fills with affection at those words. Her boyfriends were never so considerate and kind to her, not even Aaron (which deep down, she knows is her own fault.) It's hard not to swoon at Janis' obvious care for her.
“That's… really fucking sweet of you. It's in the bathroom cabinet, you can't miss it. It's the only orange bottle in there.” 
Janis kisses Regina on the cheek before gently untangling herself from her grip to get up. “Okay, I'll be right back, princess.” 
The girl returns less than two minutes later, with the medicine bottle and a glass of water for Regina, who thanks her before swallowing one of the pills with the liquid and setting them on the bedside table when she's done. Janis climbs back under the covers and the blonde immediately snuggles into her again, kissing her jaw. 
“Now get some sleep, yeah? I'll be here when you wake up.” Janis whispers, gently squeezing Regina in her arms and getting comfortable.
“Promise?”
The blonde's voice sounds exhausted but adorable. Janis sighs relaxedly.
“Of course, I would never miss our first date.”
Right! They're going on a date tomorrow! Regina can't fucking wait. She hopes she can impress Janis by taking her on the world's best first date. She might need a plan. Fast. Luckily, Karen and Gretchen have been really good at stupidly romantic plans since they started dating a few months ago. She'll text them asking for tips as soon as she wakes up. 
“Good. See you in the morning?”
“You bet,” Janis says, pressing one last kiss on Regina's forehead and closing her eyes, allowing herself to drift off to sleep holding the girl she never thought she'd ever get.
Regina falls asleep feeling like the luckiest person alive. She won't waste this chance. She'll do everything in her power to make Janis feel just as lucky for as long as she can. 
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