#i would always find it funny when ppl thought i was a dude and i'd be like sike. im a girl. for now.

[breaddo]

i continue to be fascinated by how people online automatically thought i was a guy even back when i was like 13. how did everyone know i was a dude and it still took me like 4 more years to find out myself what the hell ‼️

[reilleclan-blog]

American Psycho review

-

Alrighty*claps hands together* I watched this fucking movie. And I find it hilarious hilarious ppl really took what was in that movie and was like "yeah I'm him" genuinely wanting to be that guy. Shows a lot about our society today the "privilege" ppl like him get to have to even remotely even BE PATRICK BATEMAN. Uh I'm ngl I feel bad for the actor who plays him cause I hear it can be mentally taxing for a "regular" person to play a literal killer.

But aside from that, the movie everytime that nigga Patrick was on screen, genuinely terrified me. Scared the living hell out of me. I'd say this movie could be a horror but um yeah. The fact he has these "identities" so much so that at the very end of the movie he's still just "dismissed" from the crimes he committed and that really made me think of "society"

How could this white rich straight man possibly be a killer he has everything. The fact Bateman BLATANTLY SAYS "YO I KILLED OVER 40 PPL" and the dude genuinely thought he was joking is insane to me. Again the ending just SCREAMS THE PRIVILEGE IN UR FACE. I kinda can't take the movie seriously but the fact men like that exist in real time is the most serious part of it all. (Also adding to the fact, ppl would often mistake who he was also showed how all of them(business bros) are so much the same, but they want to be seen as "different" I guess)

The fact the only person that (I guess) "genuinely" cared about Bateman was the white girl that was "so nice" and she "was the girl for him all along". The god damn receptionist. THE FACT HE FLAT OUT STOPPED HIMSELF FROM KILLING HER B/c who the fuck knows. I genuinely don't think it had anything to do with her being the receptionist maybe he just wanted to actually stop? But like who could tell. (Also she is technically I guess, the only person who finds how sick he is and is still alive. It was either branching off into "I can fix him" territory or she just looks at him differently) who can say.

And yeah, rip my girl Christie(funny u never know her actual name , I don't think) I knew she wasn't making it out alive but she had the right idea trying to leave.

(Sidenote: i genuinely couldn't tell the difference between the men and women on the screen they genuinely ALL looked alike. Aside from some features. So when they were talking about some bitch named Evelyn I was like "wasn't that the fiancé" but maybe he just found another girl that was named Evelyn lol. Or he wanted to kill his fiancé by proxy or something EDIT: actually the woman he killed was named Elizabeth)

Um the fact the men were just allowed to be actual dickheads and the women just smiled and waved. Like trophies hung up in a room , was very fitting. And also the idea of being this "perfect" person to fit in made me wonder why do alot of killers( and yes I know, narcissists, I just don't want to be like "all narcissists are killers") think they need to Be "perfect". With Bateman it made "sense" cause he's trying to "fit in" but all that effort he puts in didn't necessarily need to be done. I think he wanted to convince himself it mattered cause when u think about "societal norms" most of it is irrelevant. And or he could've been trying to fit in so hard b/c if he didn't he'd look like a neurodivergent ass nigga around a bunch of neurotypicals. And that couldn't go well especially when ur in "corporate". He walks around with headphones always on, he talks about his special interests(music) and he draws. Definitely sounds like he is on the spectrum.(lol I'm literally him, lookin ass)

Uh this movie made me physically sick and why they needed to add "American Psycho" again poking at America's culture(business culture and white ppl in general) AmeriKa , it's literally true (this movie could've also popularized the jerking off of serial killers as well. .. romanticizing a serial killer romanticizing mental illness. It's a lot and it's very sick) Sidenote Sidenote: Bateman had money he was rich back then shit was cheap as well so he could've easily bought services for help and kept it under wraps but he didn't want to, he wanted to kill those ppl b/c society told him it's ok to be a psychopath if ur rich white and a Man U CAN BE WHATEVRR U WANNA BE👍🏾😬

Edit edit: now that I think about it even more, I think he wanted to get caught so badly. B/c ig the most "interesting" thing this guy could ever say/do was that he killed ppl. He wanted to fit in so badly he never has a "real identity" nobody even knows who he was unless it was ppl that interacted with him daily(friends , receptionist) he was just another face. It's almost like he hated that about himself the most but he "couldn't figure it out"

The fact he's ALLOWED to have mental breakdowns, commit mass shootings, and then go back to his job the next day like nothing happened. It's just fucking classic. Do u know how many news reports there is of BLACK AUTISTIC PPL HAVING AN EPISODE AND THEY ARE JUST FLAT OUT KILLED? Way too many. There was one recently. Kid named Ryan Gainer 15 years old was killed.

It's incredibly cringe the way he's like "this is it for me"*swallows pills* and genuinely nobody gave a fuck lol. As in nobody cares cause he's a rich white dude, and "nobody cares" cause there's no empathy or sympathy when it comes to mental health. (Can tie in men's mental health but most of the shit they deal with is brought upon themselves)

This guy was a genuine nobody but also someone

Sick movie but ngl I did like analyzing it. Some parts of it made me genuinely cry b/c ppl like this have no morals. He's a person on the surface but on the inside he's sick and he's allowed to be. He's told he can be sick and it's acceptable.

(Side note side note side note: I'm not here to convince anyone of anything I'm simply sharing my thoughts and feelings. I'm not here to sugar coat or make u feel comfortable. If I made u uncomfortable at all then I did my job. If u want to stay a dumbass and be willfully ignorant I cannot stop u, but don't think u can comment or repost my shit and think I won't respond or just flat out block u. I have no energy for stupidity. I'm not privileged enough to be a fucking dumbass when all this shit is happening around me. Kindly leave my page and go on with ur life.)

[eye-cri]

I wouldn't exactly say the eye is a motif, as it is. Um. Real. Though it is funny bc I always spell out her name pronunciation with eye, but other than those two instances I don't really relate eyes to Aidma.

Aidma is pretty dependent on Najlynn, emotionally as she can get mentally unstable on bad days. They've known each other since teenagers, and Najlynn was the one to convince her to let her and the rest of the clan escape with Aidma and Adi's siblings. Overall Najlynn eases Aidma's mind. Najlynn is a menence to herself honestly, in a reckless way. She just tends to get herself in sticky situations, which Aidma always is there to fix.

Aidma's name gets out by way of one of her clan members who was plotting to rat her fully out to their homeland's tyrant for power hungry reasons. That individual gets their arm ripped off by her for leaking her name (in Gedonelune, not their homeland quite yet) and still rats her out to their homeland's tyrant. The tyrant in question is her father lol. Though if you want to get into technicals,,,,, well.

Aidma considers her business moral (and really hates it when others try to argue otherwise) so potential targets always go through a thorough screening process that involves spying on the target, done by ppl of her clan who specialize in that ofc. The screening process is still pricey so she ends up with high end clients and targets. Sometimes a former client becomes a potential (to present) target.

She doesn't actually attend the academy! Najlynn does, part time but Aidma's little brothers are the ones who attend the academy. She knows Cae, Zett and Viggo from the places in town they tend to be, and pretty close with them. Zett especially, they're frequent collaborators (not business partners or clients). Though she starts to interact with the Night Class when Rem decided to use some of her assassin participant clan members as instructors for physical defense and offense classes. She's even taught a few. (She's only a year older than Zeus and Hiro tho dw)

I already mentioned Cae, Zett and Viggo,, I'd say that Hiro is iffy about her bc he's worried that she'll try to target Zeus, but she just retorts with asking if he thinks Zeus has done anything that warrants his death. That or she'll say something Zeus did and say she should kill him for it, sarcastically. I haven't worked out any specific thing with Cae Zett Viggo and Aidma but she definitely finds them more tolerable and relatable than the Day Class and Ministry.

Aidma doesn't really use magic in the story, she only starts using it more frequently during and after the incident that made her start planning to head back towards the end of WH's storyline. The type she specializes in when that happens is molecular chemistry through Alchemy.

She is shipped with Zuuuuuu,,,, my comfort ship fr 🥹🥹 though tbh!!!!!! I barely know how they got into a relationship!!! I could tell you a million things that happened in their relationship, but I can only offer strings to grasp at for their development into a relationship. They met while Aidma was on a mission mid kill tho. He thought she looked really pretty even though she was literally murdering someone. Lol. Then woop Rem sent him and Hiro out the next day to give Aidma the proposal for her clan. Awkward.....! I do think that Aidma would suppress her feelings for numerous reasons and possibly even reject him when he does confess, but this shit is hilarious bc this is just a trend amongst ships with Zu, huh. Dude is caaarrrryyyyiing ships with him 😭😭 we love him for it tho 🥹😜

You mentioned Kajal having a familiar, how did that bond happen? What's the familiars' personality like? Do they get along with Kajal's loved ones? Do they have a favorite of her loved ones? Do they have a least favorite? Do they have any magical properties? Does it like to play with Piggy Caesar. Lol. Does Safiya have a familiar? (If so same questions for her familiar)

notes on safiya (one of my WH / multifandom oc)!!

anywaysss im answering a few questions i got from @eye-cri (eeeee bc im so happy to :3)

okie so yes!! safiya is a prefect (she becomes one around the same time as liz (so, after rem) when her friends convince her to try for it. honestly, she kinda is like joel TT. safiya is so fun bc she says whats on her mind and will sometimes manage to do it in the most unbelievably tactless way possible but shes rarely ever intending to be flat out rude. like she just says things sometimes, its great. she, like liz, got an acceptance letter, started off as a provisional student and then got her place at the academy (she and liz pretty much have the same starting tbh, they’re both from villages tho safiya’s family is still very much alive). also she’s pretty good friends with joel, luca, amelia, scarlett and augustus- she and liz get along but they tend to argue from time to time.

also about the boots omg what was i thinking looking back at it, it rly is smthn but honestly its so very safiya in a way i can’t fully articulate rn TT

additionally, i’ve decided i may ship her w/ elias :DD idk just think that’d be a cute pairing-

(also note: some of my oc lore does change from time to time depending on the characters and whatnot tbh but usually it doesnt- unless i forget stuff HELP-💀)

[distracted-milkshake]

Wanna talk about how the pilots are attractive

this was sitting in my unholy drafts so @silverpaintedstars and @cielo-estrellado-neborium I'm dragging you down w/ me you gotta rb on main let's goo: Tyler Joseph

It's almost odd to me we find Tyler attractive because honestly he has few to no traits that I've ever seen considered conventionally attractive. (Don't get me wrong; I think it's good to find unconventional, underrated and nonconforming ppl attractive! I'm just saying in this case I dunno what makes this guy hot stuff so I find it o d d)

He has really tired looking eyes and little muscle definition, kinda a nice jaw but idk, full lips, though i don't think that's generally accepted as an attractive trait in men (depending). His eyes are really pretty when he's actually showing any emotion /hj But then again like his fade is super damn good, love his no-shit attitude, that frickin' mcfrickin' stare dude I can't deal, his flows not great (ok) but all the things I mentioned above and his distinct and heartfelt speaking voice are things I find rlly hot Also, over the course of more than a decade no a decade and a half he's kept a youthful, deep-thinker yet shy breedable fuckboy charm that I just haven't seen in anyone else.

Also, ovary ripping bass riffs. If (fictionally, fictionally!) Tyler told me to get down on my knees for him, I would. I think rpf smut is wrong but my personal fantasies of a yes married man are between me and God alright!!11!1!! (They're always outside of any real world context anyway) I'm a horny teen I think I can get some slack. Moving on those space buns and flowery jacket thing I think contributed 17% of my bisexuality. (Even though the space buns were after I came out; just the energy of someone who would do that paired with his previous gender-role breaking fashion choices did a lot to me) I wanna kiss a precious boy.

And his hands!! Why does nobody ever talk about his hands?!? Just look–

and tell me you don't want to hold those pretty nimble digits up against your cheek and just mwah. So, like, 10/10, would date young Tyler, want to date young Tyler why can't I have a boyfriend (him)???!

(Also he's got a nice ass)

And it's just funny to me if there's enough pictures of someone and enough interviews for you to see an odd curated splice of personality and mannerisms can you find anybody attractive? I mean personal preference and character/physical traits are still 100% a thing but I'm curious if liking a person for reasons other than being physically attractive but having a huge amount of media related to them does anything to shift your view of what you find characteristically pleasing or good-looking. I mean, im nearly certain it does, but it's an open question. I'm thinking also I usually like guys with shaggy or long hair almost exclusively so... Yeah.

Josh Dun Josh can I actually speak openly here I was a bit bigoted towards and found him ugly for a long while. Before I was actually a fan and had only seen like two MVs and a poster at my friends house I thought they were a stupid pin up band I kinda thought Josh looked weird. It was sorta like this thing I won't lie it was racial prejudice (I however did not read him as Asian at the time) but I did have similar phases with and when i thought Billie Joe and Gerard were ugly (for BJ it was the basket case MV [i thought his jaw was odd! I've since loved the look of crooked teeth billie] and it wasn't because Gerard has a chubby face I actually though his makeup in the I'm Not Okay MV was very unflattering [i also disliked that song till like three listens] what sold me on Gerard and the band was WTTBP MV, which actually my thoughts were 'his face is so soft and cute!!', and for BJ just realizing he'd gotten it fixed and it was class prejudice to messed up teeth that I'd internalized, it faded with more pictures of him younger when I saw just how pretty he was) anyway getting sidetracked I didn't like Josh's odd eyes or large nose till I watched several interviews and really started to get into the band, when I saw like more pictures of him from different angles and such and it actually hit me that I had a bias. At first I thought he was Korean (thanks tear in my heart), like I actually thought that until just earlier this year when someone shared a screenshot of a thing he'd posted on Instagram. He's Japanese, actually, and I really relate to him 'cause I'm biracial as well. But yeah now I think he's really pretty but like I don't want to dismiss there was an East Asian and mixed race features alarm that was going off in in my head and it upsets me that I don't know where I picked that up from. Because less about finding him attractive I never should've thought him displeasing and ugly on grounds of race!! Not finding him attractive, sure, I find lots of people not attractive, but actually thinking negatively of him because of his ethnicity? Goddamn... I think it's worth mentioning that I had no such phase with Tyler, whose non-white ancestry is much less noticeable and who I think [Lebanese descendants] can frequently pass as white. (also i don't think anyone's gonna come for me for saying he's white so i just will; he's white) I deeply apologize for my insolence, internalized phobia and lack of education, even though I never expressed it publicly. I also just wanted to share as a reminder that brief phases of distaste or bias don't make you a racist person! So long as you acknowledge and apologize and do better there's no harm done, and really it's such a tangled sticky web of finding anything non-white acceptable without fetishizing or hyper idealizing that it's really not all your fault for having momentary feelings of dislike or discomfort (especially over someone you aren't even meeting for real!) that stem from racial stereotypes and bigotry. And if you recognize and correct it, really no problem! Which can be waay more difficult than people make it out to be, if there's the added factor of being raised with demonizing beliefs, it'll probably take much longer or not happen at all with out proactivity to think positively of certain unidealized features or racial traits. Oh and you don't have to find them hot, you just shouldn't think of them as universally undesirable But if you do, you might find a certain Asian boy super stinkin' mothafuckin' sexy. And on that note back to assessing hotness....

If you can get past his occasional awkwardness, he's such a fricking smiley bean!! He has these two flip sides of like talkative librarian to sweaty studmuffin drum machine and when and where the switch happens is always unexpected but you never see him go from bod babe back to handsome book marm. He can only devolve sexiness where no one can see, I suppose, which makes sense.

When he was doing all the wacky hair colors it damaged his hair a lot but even that was a look!

And ahhh regardless of anything he's just so pretty!!

L-like have you seen his perfect curls and gorgeous smile and laugh and his gauges and pretty eyes and his voice when his eyes sort of glance off when talking and shirtless his face when he holds his drumsticks up and his arm tats and his tits and abs and my god bABE THOSE FUCKIN TITS 1000/10 want to love from afar, an absolute gorgeous man.

Hope ur balls are ok so you can have kids just as pretty if you ever want to one day. Jenna Joseph Jenna is so beautiful I almost find it hard to say so because she's gorgeous in such a western way. Like bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair while being average height and slender I almost feel bad thinking of her as attractive, everything about her is so widely accepted as such. I really, really love her open mind and kindness! Like just everywhere I see her I'm like oh okay! Someone called the sweet woman here to be amazing again!! Ahh why is she so cute!!! She looks a little too made up or 'perfect' to me at times but I can totally look past that, simply because I know being in the public eye a lot and running an active account on an image media website where it's mostly pictures of you is rlly, rlly difficult. Again I admire her openness! (tho i'd never be that person)

Tyler definitely deserves someone like her, but I'm still confused why she decided a dunce like him who screams and smashes piano (implication intended) was worth it lol/lh She doesn't set off my bi-panic, though, kinda just a heterosexual appreciation. 8.5/10, want hugs from, want tea with. Maybe kiss. Really sweet mom (no milf you hoe)

Debby Dun I have little to say about Debby. I think I'm still kinda in stupor at what is the weirdest real life crossover of all time for me. I've known her name and face for like... Eight years?? I used to watch Jessie every other time I visited my cousin's house. I have nothing against her, I just have nothing for her either. Like I saw vines of her and Josh in like 2019 but I didn't recognize her. I didn't know they'd been dating till everybody was leaking that they'd gotten married (which dick move btw, you seriously gonna get invited to a nice private wedding of a famous person and then leak photos and info online?? What the hell? Granted I think a private wedding is silly when you're gonna say like 'we may or may not be' because if you aren't why not just say no? Kinda outing yourself saying anything but no. But I get it on more of a matter of principle I guess) so yeah still a total shock to my real life multiverse, I dunno if I'll ever like fully grasp that they're part of the same space time continuum.

About her though, she's traditionally pretty, I like her personality, think she's funny and sweet. Cute eyes, like her hair when she has it natural. 10/10 for the shawty energy. ...like I said I have little for her.

I don't think I'd have any interest in her unless they had kids NOT to disrespect whatever decision not to or family planning they have I'm just it's odd in my brain for married couples to not have kids and I'd be lying to not convey it I am honestly curious is that a Catholic thing does anybody else feel like or know of people who feel like that?

But like yeah idk she's just boring, sorry. Sweet and I'm glad she makes Josh happy, but boring. Afterword: I swear if any of them ever read this I'll rethink all my life choices and jump off a roof (onto a mattress) tl;dr: id suck off young tyler some poignant stuff about race w/ josh and it comes down to tits and smile jenna be pretty (no milf) debby shawty but she's also eh to me

[clonecaptains]

can we see the essay????

ajkhkJGHKSGJHKJ omg ok so this is my "why ted lasso is my soulmate" - i made my friends read this, but im tweaking it a little for this post because in my first one i felt like i left out too much! sorry this is long :x

so i started the show because my best bud @clonecaptainrex recommended it to me and i just on a whim started it. i had no idea what it was about, all i'd seen was random stuff about roy (cuz he's every fuckin' where ;) ) and jason sudeikis was in it. ive loved sudeikis on snl over the years but i'd not seen him in much else.

pretty soon after i started watching it - i fell in love w/ ted's character. i was already intrigued because he's an american football coach and ive had this football coach fantasy since i was?? 11? maybe? of marrying a football coach alkgjsgsj cuz i LOVE football (go cowboys!) so that was the first thing that got my attention.

if ur reading this im assuming you've watched the show. or maybe not! but if you do watch it - then you know how SWEET ted is. the overall sweetness and dorkiness and THE PUNS got me good. im the pun queen of my friend group and all of ted's dumb lil puns and dad jokes had me in tears.

there's such a comfort w/ ted tho. warmth. he's like a warm tight hug or a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, sweet to the taste. he's happy, eager, FUNNY. even when ppl are awful and unkind to him he still forgives them and smiles anyways. even when it hurts. and whenever anyone hurt him i was ready to burn the world down for him.

the way he remembers things about people?? the lil treats and gifts he makes? one of my biggest things is i often feel 'overlooked' and he's the type who wouldn't like that happen. and it's like?? knowing that he'd look after me had me emotional. he's such a hype man. and toxic masculinity who?? wearing nail polish to practice cuz he wanted to help rebecca find the right color??? and how when he slept w/ sassy she noted how EAGER he was to please her?? omg every word out of his mouth made me laugh or smile and my face would hurt after each ep just from smiling. he's encouraged me?? and i just. he lifted my spirits so much my therapist even noticed.

and his anxiety issues? omg. that spoke to me and i get him. it made me hurt for him. but i love knowing that he would understand. but even still he's positive thru all the pain he's been thru - and that's why i try to do in my life. this is the more~ personal part but ted makes me feel SAFE. you're not waiting around for the other shoe to drop. and he's NOTHING like my dad who i have tremendous issues w/. ted is so nonthreatening and that's not like brownie points for him - i just love how that makes me feel.

sudeikis is tall and has more of a normal/dad bod body type and i LOVE. ive always been into tall boys and he has hella chest hair which if you know me is like. my thing. yeah jason can get it LOL but this just plays into more reasons why i love ted ya know? w/ like,,, every other fictional character i love - there's always a thirst element. if yall know me then you know oscar isaac is My Dude. and ive seen every little thing he's been in and thirsted over it all (not to say i don't love domestic and fluff hcs just as much as thotty ones) but like when i saw dune i had a full on crisis over duke leto spitting on the table. but w/ ted?? WITH TED?? he makes me feel like im in 6th grade and the guy i have a crush on just said hi to me and i wanna go home and scream into my pillow and talk to my friends about it for an hour. i almost CRIED thinking about holding ted's hand ok. i honestly don't remember the last time i had a crush like this that felt so ?? innocent?? or just like LGKJSKHJGWHJGKJAH about his whole being?? not just how he looks or thirst or whatever. it's like? thirst was an AFTER thought for me w/ ted. it's almost like i couldn't HANDLE thinking about it. something about it feels different w/ him and?? idk how to put it into words.

i wanna do everything w/ ted. idc what it is. i wanna go to a birthday party with him. do holidays or go to the zoo. watch tv. watch football together ahhh. he would make everything fun and he's the exact kinda person i wanna marry and it hit me so hard watching it.

there's a line - i can't remember the exact wording - but he's talking to the players about growing up and ted mentions a girl making him feel squiggly inside. that line was in my head for days. it made my stomach churn. the mere thought of someone like him feeling like that about me??

but here's the real kicker - sweet ted is a southern boy. and im from the south too. hearing his southern accent gets me feeling all kinds of ways. seeing him hold the door open for women and his just general cheery attitude and his southernisms is all such a comfort to me. i KNOW ppl like him. he's what southern ppl should be like, and they do exist.

if youve read all this then hello and thank you LOL. but the point is that ted makes me feel safe and i could see myself being happy w/ him in any capacity. i just wanna be around him. i wanna do anything and everything w/ him.

there's more i could say and some more VERY personal things i could say but maybe some other time.

i suppose for yall to really know how much he's my soulmate you'd have to know ME lol but this is a lot of why im considering him my fictional character soulmate. thank yall for reading~!