#i work at a school ^^ as clarification
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tw/ homophobia & transphobia
if i have to listen to my mom genuinely harbor so much hate and disgust for gay and trans people i’m going to off myself it’s literally so exhausting and so degrading and it breaks my heart. it’s also insanely triggering… and i can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t bother me i need to get out of here i cannot do this anymore. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with me but hearing the way she talks about gay people literally makes me nauseous i would kill to have accepting parents cringe gay merch and all i can’t wait to move out i’m not out to ANYONE in my real life space right now and it’s driving me crazy !!!!! being she/her’d to death LEAVE ME ALONE i feel like everyone can tell i’m transgender they see it they can sense it it’s only a matter of time before i’m outed or something scared asf for my life praying august gets here sooner
#vent#i’ll delete this maybe later#sorry#kids call me ms. mar but i’ve come to peace with it by looking at it like a drag name#ms. mar is so camp#i love being transgender#i want to rejoice in that#i’m tired#i work at a school ^^ as clarification
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changed my mind from being insane about the coming school year to being insane about writing fanfic so tlt fanfic is a go ig
#personal bullshit#work bullshit#i guess???#the locked tomb#tlt#for clarification im a school librarian so i stil work on a school year cycle to be insane over
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jjk is really missing out on having more yuki and todo in general, especially considering she was his mentor
#the way they’re both taken out of the story 😭#jjk spoilers#still waiting for more clarification on Yuki’s research#I’m hoping for flashbacks rather than just it coming up as a one off plot explanation#fingers crossed#I still need to read the official chapter that dropped today#have too much school work rn though
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always fun whenever I bring up an anecdote from my childhood and it turns out it wasn't an anecdote, but actually recounting an apparently traumatic event. at least according to the people I tell the anecdote to.
#somehow my dnd group got to the topic of punishments for bad behaviour we got from our parents as children#and i casually mentioned how i got grounded for months at a time and got basically socially isolated#also all electronics taken away and cable cut on the tv. all i had were books while i had to stay in my room#also the 10 liter buckets of cold water dumped on me and my bed when depression kept me from getting up in the mornings#all to correct bad/annoying behaviour brought on by untreated mental illness#I've lived with this for over 15 years now it's become normal to me but apparently that's not normal?#one of my dnd buddies who was in the day clinic program with me says it checks out with all the other stuff i told him about my childhood#anyway. thought of the day tbh#(clarification my parents haven't done this in YEARS it was only around the time school was still mandatory to attend for me#and my parents would've received a hefty fine if i didn't go semiregularly amd got decent grades and decent education)#now that i'm an adult with a job and am taking care of my own business they don't punish me anymore#(except the one time i was still unable to work due to chronic pain and the painsomnia made me pass out during the daytime#so my father decided to cut off wifi access from all of my electronics for weeks to 'fix me' like old times)#but that was just one thing. no biggie
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trying to branch out! trying to connect with others! I am not scared!
#just dmed a coworker bc he posted on his insta story about wanting to play dnd but never having a dm#and so he was like ‘bro if someone wants to rn a campaign Sunday or Monday evening?’#and I was like no way in hell could I dm bc I have not played nearly enough#but like. he’s really chill and like. if he needs other players???#idk I feel bad bc I wasn’t like. dming him to offer to dm (direct messaging as the former dungeon master as the latter. for clarification)#but also if he’s trying to get a group together? I’m free those days we’re close in age and share some interests#and we get along well at work#so like I feel like I wouldn’t stand out too much in a group of people he knows#he’s gay and trans too so like. you know the group would be queer#maybe I’ll try to convince him to start a work campaign. maybe someone on staff would want to dm#I wish I wasn’t so busy and such a stressed person and had more experience#bc if I felt like I could dm and could really do a good job of it I would offer!#but I just don’t think I would#idk now I’m just rambling#I feel stressed but I also don’t do anything besides school and work so I need to find smth to do
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HEAD IN HANDS. I LAID DOWN THE CLEAREST TRACKS POSSIBLE FOR THE INTERN. WE WERE LIKE HALFWAY THERE. AND THEY JUST WENT OFF THE RAILS. like listen I’ll set you up for success but I’m not saving you from the consequences.
#my ramblings#the director of the program is like ‘oh… can we have them fix this and take on the responsibilities they want…’#and I am gently placing a hand on my softhearted director’s shoulder#and saying: no.#listen if the intern needed more time or had questions it’s up to the intern to ask#I’m open to extensions#I’m open to clarifications#I’m even open to supervising completion of work (but not doing the work)#however I am not standing in the way of The Boss#and I am not chasing an intern down when I have my own work#anyway I get it with how the intern’s trying to focus on school and has more priority on passing the class#I’ve been there#but also I Did Not Ignore A Supervisor’s Meticulously Detailed Report On Maintaining Compliance#bro my priority is not for you to pass your class. my priority is that you don’t fuck up and screw all of us over.
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My gf and I have talked about hypothetically opening up our relationship at some point in the future which would make me very happy as a polyamorous person, but I just realized that if that actually happens and I have to go back out on the dating scene I'm gonna have some trouble bc now that I'm more outwardly butch people are gonna expect me to make the first move and I have never made a first move in my entire life
In all of my relationships but two the first move was made by the other person, and I wasn't even the person who made the first move in the other two. In the first one the girl chickened out on her plans to ask me out and then our mutual friend who didn't realize that that had happened outed her by asking me what I said afterwards, and in the second one me and the other person both went to the same friend on the same day to talk about our crushes on each other and then she made us talk about our feelings
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and the first time she tried to ask me on a date she wanted to take me to the theater so she asked me if I had seen the new beauty & the beast movie and then instead of realizing that she was asking me on a date I said that I'd already seen it and gave her a negative review of the movie. And then when she asked me on a date again a few weeks later I had to ask to make sure it was a date when I got there 😭
...And that reminds me of another event in high school where a girl I liked took me to the mall and we walked around holding hands the entire time and then afterwards I had to get one of our mutual friends to ask her if it was supposed to be a date bc I was too nervous and also stupid 😭 Another girl that year asked me to skip class with her and told me that if I flashed my pretty smile at the teacher I could probably get away with it and I had to show the text to my friend to ask if she was flirting. I'm gonna die out there on my own 😭
#rambling#the friend i showed the message to was the same one i made ask the other girl if it was a date#and he didnt even answer he just raised his eyebrow and stared at me like 'really?'#god im just. remembering how stupid i was in high school now#there were two other crushes that i had who may have potentially liked me back and i may have even been told that by multiple people#but i was so deep in my self hatred and also stupid that i didnt think it was possible for them or anyone else to like me 😭#they both were friends of mine and they eventually stopped talking to me completely and i couldnt figure out why#and now i hope its not bc they they thought i was leading them on. bc i wasnt. i was just a massive idiot#you have to explicitly tell me that youre interested in me or want to go on a date or whatever or im not gonna get it#and tbh. that didnt even always work#my first major crush in high school was on a girl who told me directly multiple times that she was into me#but i was even DEEPER in my self hatred at that time#(and also only just figuring out how social interaction worked bc she was helping my autistic ass learn)#so i just. assumed it was a joke. bc no one could have possibly been interested in me and definitely not such an amazing person#i guess at least i have a scrap of self confidence now and im brave enough to ask for clarification now#and if i specifically ask someone on a date at least i would know for sure its a date?#and it could either be lame or cute but i could ask for permission to kiss them. it worked for my gf#i cant interpret signals for shit 😭#i dont even have a valid reason to be thinking about this right now lol its not like i have permission to date anyone else romantically yet#but ive been watching clone high with my gf and abe keeps misinterpreting joan directly saying that she wants him in increasingly dumb ways#and i just keep cringing bc i realized that that was me ahdjsksl....#only difference is in my case it was never bc i was ignoring them for someone else. it was ALWAYS bc i was an idiot#literally i would be there pining for them and every attempt they made would go right over my head#you have to be morosexual and very persistent to date me 😭 or tell a mutual friend whos very persistent ig lol#i know we are All useless lesbians but i think i deserve a medal or smth#ill hang it on my corkboard next to the souvenir that one of my crushes who i didnt think liked me back got for me in high school#which was a plastic license plate that said 'babygirl' on it bc that was her nickname for me 😅#god i really hope people didnt think i was leading them on. imagine someone thinking im a player flirting with a bunch of different girls#without ever making things official. when really if i found out for certain any of them were interested in me i would have died of shock 😭#and if we WERE in fact flirting i wouldnt have realized it. i was just SO scared and SO stupid 😭😭😭
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sigh.
#i don’t really wanna vent but i feel like i need to#my parents (mom specifically) love me based on my success#like thats been established since i was in middle school#and i cant afford to live on my own yet because hawaii is expensive.#and i come home from work because i work a double (so i go back later on)#my mom scoffs at me and told me my job sucks because i can’t just stay all day#(for clarification: my mom likes to spend my money while also yelling at me to save so i never have money for myself)#i had to explain to a woman older than me that 1. our store’s budget hours are already cut#and 2. that we don’t have enough payroll for me to stay all day in the first place#so despite me STILL getting hours#she’s still upset at me for not being able to get the extra 2 hours#sorry if this doesnt make sense i just-#it outrages me that my own mother just LOVES muttering under her breath about money.#anyway yeah. sorry.#jarvis.vents
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airport playing every little thing she does is magic at 10 pm. several people in the bar visibly mouthing along.
#absolutely do not blame them it is a banger start to finish#had me convinced I was straight in middle school cuz I thought I was a lesbian#and I had a crush on this guy from school who sang the song for show choir#anyway he was gay and so am I it didn’t work out#gay in the same way. for clarification. it not working out is because I am very bad at dating#shush up jj#mine
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You are literally putting the comfort of THEORETICAL PEOPLE above the lives of real disabled people who are facing these issues.
So, the thing is that addicts are both real & disabled, & who's triggers should be taken into account. You obviously can't give everyone accommodations at the same time since different people require different things, but if someone is recovering & cannot be around alcohol for example, you would try to take that into account when possible because you want to treat them with respect.
Nobody is doing this? You're arguing points that you're making up
So, again, this isn't a strawman argument, & I'm not making people up to defend. It's not a hypothetical. I have met these people in real life. I've been asked politely if I could make these accommodations & I agreed to it because I know how triggers work & know how much being triggered sucks. Saying "your trigger is your problem only so don't expect people to care" is just showing how little you actually care about other disabled people. Try being nicer.
you're advocating for sacrificing the lives, health, and dignity of real disabled people for the comfort of thereotical people
I literally never said that & would love if you could quote where I said that directly.
Again, I'm a real disabled person who has been in the real situation I just described. If you're in a situation where you will die unless you take your medication immediately at your desk, there are other options besides you leaving or triggering someone. You can ask them to leave for their health. Let them know when you take your meds so they can leave at that time.
it isn't hard to come up with solutions to this problem. It isn't Them VS Us. There are no sides here, just disabled people in bad situations not getting the proper accommodations. You acting like it is Them VS Us only tells me how little you actually care about fixing this issue. You only want to complain about the people you view as The Enemy. You only care about Them VS Us.
And something tells me you're not actually concerned at all about the mental health of addicts. Something tells me that you just don't want to have to see a "yucky disabled person" existing in public in a way that offends your delicate sensibilities.
you are literally so fucking pathetic if this is what you got out of "here is a problem we should think of solutions to." what exactly is telling you this? stop going into stuff like this in the worst faith possible. it makes you look like a piece of shit
Things that should be normalized:
Taking meds in public
Going out to eat by yourself
Not having your drivers license
Asking about allergies when eating out
Things that should NOT be normalized:
Watching loud videos in public without earbuds istg stop it its so annoying I don't want to hear some Minecraft dude screaming while I'm trying to eat my pancakes in peace
#me: hey i have actual real life experience in this. here are my opinions on how it works irl because i lived it#this fuck: actually you just think disabled people are gross. i know this because god himself told me. i am so intelligent#man maybe next time instead of taking things so out of context & personally just like. ask? for clarification if you're confused??#it's not hard. you have my username. you literally @ed me to call me names#next time just DM me or @ me in the comments to ask questions#it's obvious you're just trying to gotcha me & it's honestly really fucking pathetic. not to mention ableist#because yes. disabled people can be ableist. shocker right#okay for more context on my ''experience'' i went to alt school#basically it's school for kids who's lives have been fucked in some way. a lot of addicts#i also went to AA briefly (not an addict myself). i DO have experience in this SPECIFICALLY#i also know that problem solving is something you NEED to think about#it's NOT an option. you cant just say ''my thing is more important than yours fuck off''#you have to actually look at the problem & solve it#this is basic adulting shit dude like it isn't problematic it isn't ableist this is just how the real world works#i've been doing this since i was a teenager how is a full ass adult not understanding#not blocking in case this is just some random one off outburst but if they try shit again i'm not engaging further#nah nvm they're vagueing lol i think they're just a teenager who doesn't know the internet wasn't actually made for arguing#if you can't have a mature conversation about this i'm exiting the conversation
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walked into a room and this was on the board, but why??
#for clarification i go to an all girls school#this was not the work of a teenage boy#incredibly funny tho#ami talks
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starting to see little by little why my pred broke contract because of this one woman
#personal shizz#she is. so bad at communicating#n thats not even entirely because of the slight language barrier#like all the other teachers i worked w could explain things to me easily n didnt mind if i had questions#but now this woman waits until the very last moment to tell me things#n then acts almost condescending when i ask for clarifications on things#i prob shouldv seen this coming when at the beginning of the year when everyone was moving desks#she asked if she could sit on literally the opposite side of the office from me#so she could sit w a different teacher#i kno this is a high school but the teachers office shouldnt feel like a clique#but whatever. whatever!#i gotta get to work on making this lesson she also sprung on me
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One thing I've learned about how to be pleasant to be around is to not imply I'm disagreeing when I ask for clarification. If something doesn't make sense to me, but the person telling me about it is clearly confident that the thing is as they say it is, there is no scenario in which saying "well that can't be right" and arguing them would lead to a positive outcome. If they are right and you are wrong, you started an argument about it for no reason and looked like an idiot the whole time, and even if you are right and they didn't think of it the way they see it, you still looked like a dick about it.
The best way to handle these things is approaching the matter with the attitude of "I am assuming that you know this matter better than I do, but while I trust that you know how it is, I cannot see what the inner logic of it is", and start from the assumption that this massive oversight you just saw is no oversight at all - the solution to it is simply not immediately obvious.
So if you're introduced to someone's innovation that - to you - looks like it's just going to immediately explode once it's turned on, there is no winning outcome to immediately blurting out "well that's just fucking stupid, it's just going to explode as soon as you turn it on!" because either you're going to be immediately schooled about how it won't do that, and made yourself look stupid, or then even if you were right, you're rude and made them feel stupid.
When instead, you could respond with (real or feigned) willing curiosity, asking "what kind of mechanisms do you have here to prevent it from exploding immediately?" therefore showing interest in the inner workings of the project, and your trust on the person's expertise about the matter. And either they will excitedly tell you what the explosion-prevention mechanisms are, or you saved them the embarrassment of noticing on the spot that they really hadn't thought of that. And even so, they'll be grateful if not downright flattered that you'd assume they were smarter than that.
Most of the time when you get yourself embarrassed and find yourself asking "how was I supposed to know that?" you weren't embarrassed for not knowing. You weren't supposed to know. You embarrassed yourself by supposing that you knew.
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thanks for the clarification ♡
so here is the thought I had
hyunjin and reader being each other's crush but absolutely idiotic about it so they don't know the other's feelings
they have common friends that are sick of the tension between the two. one decides to tell hyunjin, the other suggests the reader to do something to make hyunjin jealous so she can find out if he likes her. (boring I know)
one time when everyone's around, she flirts with jisung or something idk and she gets too touchy so hyunjin is annoyed af. pulls her away to somewhere private and voila, they've confessed in the best way possible 😌🌸
CRUSH. anon request w/ HYUNJIN.
18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
pairing: hyunjin x female reader genre + warnings: friends to lovers, smut mdni!, oral (both f & m receiving), hyunjin calls reader kitten, semi-public wc: 5.4k mina's note: Anon also wanted to throw ‘kitten’ in it (my fav pet name 👀) Also I really enjoyed writing this & love how much details you put on the request!! My box is open for feedback 💓
other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.
You don’t know how you got in this situation but here you are; staring at your friend who is currently playing basketball, topless. Well, you’re more like drooling over him.
He just looked so good, so hot. His tall, lean, milky body just running around on the court covered in a thin layer of sweat. Normally you hate the thought of sweat, but it works for him. It works well for Hwang Hyunjin, actually. He even looks like he smells nice too. You watch as he laughs at the other players, hogging the ball like the main character in some high school drama. Your eyes waver from his pretty smile to his muscular arms to his piercing, which is sitting so perfectly under his eyebrow, then to his burgundy hair.
You pay attention the beads of sweat that trickles from his hair to his chest, dripping down his body. You gulped when you see them land on the area just underneath his belly button. You completely loss your sanity as your eyes covered that area. His treasure trail? Happy trail? Whatever people called it. Why was it so sexy on Hyunjin?
You quickly look away before anyone catches you; you shouldn’t be looking at him like that. Hyunjin is your friend.
When you meet him two years ago in your first year of college, he was just some guy in class you become friends with. He is good looking, but you didn’t find him attractive. There was no chemistry, no tension, no feelings. You don’t know how it started but you find yourself thinking about him every other hour of the day now. You would freeze when someone else mentions his name, blush when he was in close proximity of you and even stutter when he speaks to you.
“Hey.. Hey Y/N,” a voice snapping you out of your thoughts, followed by a nudge on your shoulder.
“Hm?” You answered, unaware of who was even calling out to you. You turn your head and there he was, your crush Hwang Hyunjin crouching down next to you, smiling at your blank reaction. You’re used to him towering over you since he was way taller than you but to have him crouched down like this looking at you makes you feel a bit.. timid.
“I’m going to borrow this,” he says dangling your fresh hand towel in-front of you. Oh yeah, the hand towel you carry around in your bag just in case your physical education professor makes you participate in class. The one you won’t let anyone use or even touch.
When they say having a crush makes you do crazy stuff, they do mean it. You were quick to lean him it.
“Huh.. uhh yeah, sure,” you answered, eyes travelling from your towel to his face again.
When you realised you’ve been staring at him longer than you should have, you cough and drop eye contact, making Hyunjin gulped a little bit too loud. “I don’t need it anyways you can keep—”
“—I’ll return it,” he says with a smile. “I’ll wash it first of-course.” You nod your head quietly as you gather up your belongings, getting ready to go to your next class.
“Come on Hyunjin, we are going to be late for class!” Chan, the oldest out of the friend group, calls out to him.
“So.. I’ll see you at lunch then?” Hyunjin says after noticing your quietness.
“Yeah, I’ll see you at lunch,” you mumbled, shooting him a quick glance.
“Bye bro,” Hyunjin says to Minho, giving him a handshake before collecting his bag and going off with Chan.
Minho chuckles at the scene that just unfolded in-front of him; two of his best friends obviously crushing on one another but no one is making a move. Well, it’s not really you and Hyunjin’s fault since you guys don’t know about the other person’s feelings.
“You know he likes you right?” Minho blurted out and you turn your head to his direction.
“Who?” You answered nervously. Did Minho just witness everything?
“Hyunjin,” Minho replies with raised eyebrows, his smug a little bit too cocky for your liking today. You rolled your eyes at him but underneath your skin, you are hot, flustered, embarrassed.
“No way!” you denied. Hyunjin could never like you, he only saw you as a friend.
“He does—”
You scoffed a little bit too fast.
“Do you not see the way he looks at you Y/N?” You can’t tell if Minho was being serious or not.
Minho does have a history of being a joker which makes you think he’s just pranking you. But he also is a very honest friend, he would never joke around with stuff that could potentially hurt you.
“Uhhhh—” you hesitantly reply.
Minho takes in a loud breath, “—I don’t know if you’re genuinely dense or you just don’t want to admit it.”
“He doesn’t like me,” you answered.
“He does,” Minho turns his head behind to look at Hyunjin and you followed. You watch as the two made their way across the field, Chan wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s shoulder trying to snatch your towel away from him.
“Oh, you don’t want to give it to me because that’s your girl’s towel?” Chan laughs, basically choking Hyunjin at this point.
“She’s.. she’s not.. my girl..” Hyunjin softly replies in a cough, not sure if he was actually being choked by Chan’s big arms or by choking up at you being called his girl.
“She’s not your girl.. yet?” The older boy teased.
“What do you mean?” Hyunjin questioned, hoping Chan didn’t see through him.
Chan looked back at you and Minho who was still sitting by the basketball court. You swiftly turn back to Minho, hoping Chan didn’t catch you starring at Hyunjin.
“Trust me,” Minho said with his smug face, raising his brow to the older boy across the field. “You know how to tell if he likes you?”
You stay quiet. You were curious but didn’t want to seem like it, so you just raised your eyebrow. Tell me, tell me Lee Minho!
“Make him jealous,” Minho says lifting his chin to Jisung who was currently surrounded by a group of girls shoving their gym towel into his face.
You know what Minho was referring to; that’s how Felix ended up with Nayeon. Minho suggested to Nayeon to make Felix jealous by sitting next to Jisung at some dinner since he was such a girl magnet. Next thing you know she was pulled away from the table by Felix and they have been together ever since.
You scoffed. It sure worked for them, but you weren’t going to use Jisung like that; he was your friend.
“I’m not going to use Han-Ji like that,” you replied.
“Okay look..” he blinks a little too hard at you. “Just use Han-Ji.. He is also as tired as we all are of you and Hyunjin’s….” He pauses. “..tension..”
“Who is we?” You asked confused.
Who else has been noticing your little crush on Hyunjin? Is what you really wanted to ask your best friend, but you don’t.
“..And there’s no tension between me and Hyunjin.. I don’t know what you talking about,” deny deny deny.
“Everyone in the friend group can feel the tension, you idiot,” the nickname causing you to pout. “Felix, Bin, Min, Lia—”
“—Hyunjin doesn’t like me.”
“Bet?” He was too quick with this. “I’ll let you have bragging rights if he doesn’t like you. But I get the bragging rights if he does,” he suggested.
“Huh, what?” Both of them sound bad to you. Why would you be happy with bragging rights if Hyunjin doesn’t like you back? It would sting you! And if by chance Hyunjin likes you back, you would hate to deal with Minho’s telling the whole campus he was cupid. What the hell was Minho on?
“What?” He laughed after noticing your face, full of displeasure. “I mean, the worst that could happen is he doesn’t like you back.. But then that means you get bragging rights?” Minho laughs tilting his head to the side. He can read you well.
“Dude you’re insufferable!” You rolled your eyes. He was still looking at you with his smirk.. Oh wait. “What do you mean like me back? I don’t like him,” you denied, it but wasn’t fast enough, he had caught you.
“Sure.. I know everything. Come on, trust me. I’m your best friend,” Minho nudges your shoulders. “Remember the party this weekend? How you rather sit at home and do nothing. Well maybe you should just come. We haven’t seen you out in a while.. Come, and be prettier than this..” he says looking down at your gym wear. You were in baggy sweat shorts and an even baggier t-shirt. “And I’ll help you get with him-”
“—Hey!” you shove his shoulder back. “What’s wrong with me now?!” You look down at your attire. It was gym class anyways of course you would be in this, even if you don’t participate.
“What? Nothing,” he answers playfully. “Come on, we going to be late to our next class!” Minho gets up before opening up his hand to help you up. “Han-ji, we’re late!”
It was lunch time and you and Han-Ji ditched Minho to go down to the college’s local bakery to get some lunch.
“You’re totally not coming to the party?” Minho asked Hyunjin who was sat at the lunch table, eating his huge burrito. Seungmin, Felix and Chan were also there chiming into the conversation.
“Who’s going?” Hyunjin asked, a mouth full.
“Just the usual.. us. So, Chris, Bin, Jeongin, Yeji.. and then half of the third years are invited,” Hyunjin doesn’t look too interested. Don’t get the wrong idea, he loves his friends and parties, but he had also seen them every single day on campus, so he had no fear of missing out.
“…oh and Y/N says she’s going to come too,” Minho blurted, playing full attention to his friends reaction.
Hyunjin’s ears perks up at your name, his cheeks suddenly growing pink as he looks back at Minho.
“Actually.. I’ll come. Haven’t been had fun in a while,” Hyunjin drops the eye contact when he notices Minho’s sneer. “You want me to bring anything?” Hyunjin continues a little twitchy, playing with his food.
Minho just laughs. This was getting too exciting for him. “Bring your courage!” The rest of the boys laughed.
“What?” Hyunjin asked, narrowing his eyes at the crowd.
“You like Y/N, don’t you?” Seungmin exclaimed catching Hyunjin by surprised.
“Umm...” Hyunjin freezes. He doesn’t know how to answer. Of course, he likes you, but he didn’t want to admit knowing the boys were definitely going to tease him even more for it. But he didn’t want to say no just in case they spin it around to say he doesn’t like you at all as a friend.
“Don’t worry bro, she likes you too,” Minho break the silence. Hyunjin’s heart stop at his best friend’s words. He didn’t know what he expected but it wasn’t that.
“Really? She likes me back?” Hyunjin replies promptly, a sheer smile pulling on his face. He was definitely blushing.
“Back.. So you do like her?” Chan torments Hyunjin again and Hyunjin’s smile slowly faded form his face. They had caught him too.
“Hey Y/N!” Felix calls out and the rest of the boys look over Hyunjin’s shoulder. He wanted to spin back to check but he didn’t want the boys to play more into his eagerness, so he just freezes looking straight at them.
“Hi Lix!” Your voice calls from behind him.
“Come here! Hurry!” Felix continues to make conversation with you.
“Bro just ask her out already, we’re all tired of the tension,” Chan quickly expresses.
“What tension?” Hyunjin was desperate to see what they had to say before you got to the table.
“Sexual tension,” Seungmin whispers and everyone goes silence, pressing their lips trying to hold back their smile.
“There’s no tension between me and—”
“—Okay you say there’s so tension? I guess Han-Ji can make his move then,” Minho interrupted, surprising Hyunjin again.
“Does Han-Ji likes Y/N—"
“—Shh she’s behind you,” Chan shushes the younger boy up before he could finish his sentence.
“Hey..” Hyunjin says timidly before you could even sit down.
“Hey..” you replied back, climbing over the bench so you can sit next to him. The whole group watches as Hyunjin blushed at your proximity. “Sit here,” you pat the area on the other side of you for Jisung to sit.
“Coffee and pastries for lunch? That place is like a 10 minute walk,” Chan askes from across the table.
“It’s okay, Han-ji keeps me company,” you say as you nudge Jisung a little bit and you both open up your pastry bag.
Hyunjin glances at you from aside, he stays quiet.
Hyunjin doesn’t know how to feel. He didn’t expect his boys to catch on about his feelings for you and he didn’t expect Minho to blurt out that you like him back. Hyunjin is also confused after seeing how close Han-Ji is to you too, he never really questions your close relationship until now. Does Han-Ji actually like you? Thoughts flood his brain as he continues to eat his burrito.
You rushed home from your last Friday class to get ready for the party. You threw on one of your mini sun dress, pairing it up with some sandals and a cross body bag before collecting your black cardigan and rushing out to Yeji who was ready in the living room waiting to do some pre-party shots with you.
You and Yeji tipsy-ly made it to the loudest house on the street. Lee Minho’s residency. It was only 8pm and it was already crowded. She held your hand and clumsy pulls you through dim-lit hallways packed with people before reaching the living room. There they were, all of your friends in the living room with a drink in their hand, conversing with one another.
“There they are!” Seungmin yells as he sees you and his girlfriend. He quickly makes his way to rip Yeji off you, pulling her into the kitchen to get a drink.
“Wow, my best friend finally came to one of my parties!” Minho appears out of no where handing you a beer.
“I was here two months ago Min..” You playfully rolled your eyes. “When you and Nayeon vomited everywhere and me and Felix had to bathe you guys.. naked,” you refreshed his memory.
“I remember.. Crazy night..” Minho laughs. He stops to look you up and down before grabbing your shoulders. “Very pretty Y/N. You planning to make someone jealous?” He complimented before getting back to his little mischiefs.
“Maybe,” you answered looking around the room. You hadn’t seen Hyunjin yet and Minho notices.
“Your boy is hella tipsy by the way, he keeps telling me he’s nervous but won’t tell me why,” Minho informs you.
“He’s not my boy.”
“Sure.. okay, anyways so not your boy is currently staring at you from behind,” Minho also announced as he stares at Hyunjin from over your shoulder.
Hyunjin’s heart stops at your presence. He has always found you pretty but tonight, he found you extremely gorgeous. Maybe because tonight was the night, he was going to let you know about his feelings. He takes another sip of his drink, pondering how he’s going to pull you away. He wanted to find the perfect timing, he didn’t want to do it too early just in case you reject him, and he has to go home early.
He watches you as you make your way to Jisung who was currently sat on the tiniest fucking armchair he had ever seen.
“Han-Ji!” You were going to follow Minho’s instructions; you either leave tonight with Hyunjin or rejected by Hyunjin but with bragging rights.
“Hey Y/N, you look like you had a couple of drinks already,” Jisung says as he touches his owns cheeks to indicate where your pink complexion was. You nodded bashfully to your friend before getting up on the arm of the chair to sit.
“It’s wet there, I just spilled my drink there. Come here,” Jisung stops you before you could sit. He pulled your arm so you can squeeze next to him on the tiny fucking armchair. You hope Hyunjin was watching.
“You okay?” Jisung asks cupping your face to lean your head against his shoulder - he knows how tired you get when you drink.
“Mhmm,” you closed your eyes as you continue to converse with your friend.
Hyunjin was still watching everything from the other side of the room. His hand was wrapped around his drink tightly, expressing his annoyance at the skin-ship and at himself for not pulling you away the second you got here, like he wasn’t waiting all night just for you to arrive. He starts to feel a little jealous now that your attention is on Han-Ji. And maybe Minho was right, and Han-Ji does have feelings for you.
He had to do it. He had to pull you away and ask why you hadn’t noticed his feelings for you all this time. He feels himself grow hot, he was feeling tense.
Hyunjin takes in a deep breath before downing the drink, squeezing his cup on the process. The plastic from the red cup causes disturbance making the boys turn their head at their friend.
“You good, pretty boy?” Changbin asks noticing the change in Hyunjin’s demeanour, taking the red cup out of his hand.
“Yeah, just need some air,” Hyunjin says running a hand through his fluffy red hair as he makes his way to you.
“Can we talk?” Someone askes from above you and you instantly open your eyes, locking eyes with them.
You feel your heart skip a beat as you finally see him. He had on some baggy jeans with a black t-shirt, one sleeved rolled up complementing his muscular arm. God, he looked so hot; you feel yourself drooling over him again.
“Okay.” You answered softly.
“Come,” he says, grabbing a hold of your hand making you get up from the chair. You heart start to flutter at his brace. Was it happening now? Is Hyunjin jealous?
He guides you through the crowd of people in the living room before dragging you up the stairs and towards Minho’s bedroom. He lets you enter first before locking the door behind him.
Your eyes wonder around Minho’s bedroom - his room was dark, quite clean, quite quiet for such a loud guy. You scoff to yourself quietly at the contrast. As you spin around the room, Hyunjin watches you and smiles at your cuteness before getting back to his senses of why he pulled you here in the first place.
“Are you drunk?” He asked suddenly.
“Hmm? Not quite yet,” you answered, making your way into Minho’s ensuite. “Why?” You asked so he can follow you, just testing the waters.
You placed your bag on the counter before digging through it trying to find your lipstick.
“What are you doing then?” Hyunjin asked towering behind you looking at you through the mirror.
“What do you mean?” You glance up at him to ask before going through your bag again, acting like you had no idea what was going on, even though your heart was beating just as fast as his.
“What were you doing up on Han-Ji like that?” Yep, he saw everything.
“I wasn’t on him?” You lied.
“Y/N.” He was getting a little be frustrated at your replies, you were obviously up to something.
“Why does it matter to you anyways—”
“—It’s making me jealous.” Hyunjin interrupted you making you glance up at him again. Minho’s plan was working. Minho was right.
You spin around to face him and finally, you can feel the tension everyone was talking about. He likes you. You feel your heart beating rapidly as he stares into your eyes. Your breathing becomes heavier as he takes another step towards you. You try to keep eye contact just to see if he drops it first, but he doesn’t. Your eyes drop first, to his lips then up to his eyes then back to his lips. They looked so full, so soft. Wouldn’t be crazy if you guys just kissed?
“Hyunjin?” You say above a whisper, lips forming into a pout right after. Hyunjin found you so precious looking up at him like this.
His resting face rapidly turns into a smirks now as he watches your eyes flicker to his lips. He knew what you wanted; he knows how you feel now. “Hmm?” He questioned, just to tease you a little bit.
“Can you just kiss me already?” You say, not begging but with a hint of desperation. You like him and you just confirmed he likes you, what were you guys waiting for?
He chuckles before his hand comes up to your face, cupping it for a second then he leans and kisses you. His lips felt so soft, so warm just like how you imagined them felt. You couldn’t explain the feeling, it was like you were in dream, it’s incredible.
Soon Hyunjin deepens the kiss, letting his tongue enter your mouth as one of his hand keeps your face in place, the other snaked down your body to your waist. Your tongue swiped against his lips, and you tasted a bit of lemonade and tequila. If this was a way to drink tequila, then you were all for it.
“Up,” he pulls away to say and you listen jumping onto the counter with the help of his grip. You spread your legs so he can stand in between them. He looks at you in awe, he couldn’t control his smile.
“You didn’t answer me..” he says as his hands find their way under your dress just resting on your thighs.
“Hm?” You whimpered, wanting his lips back on yours.
“What were you doing up on Han-Ji like that?” Hyunjin asked again, a little lower, a little more raspier now that he’s more confident to dominate you.
“To make you jealous,” you whisper back to him, admitting to all your little shenanigans.
“Why?” He couldn’t hold back his smile.
“To see if you like me back.” You say, and his ears perked up at your words.
“You got your answer?”
“Mhmm..” you admit.
“Good.”
“But.. want to hear you say it,” you reply cheekily, your arms coming to wrap around his shoulders to pull him close to you so your lips are barely touching.
He lets out an airy breath before pressing a kiss to your lips, letting it linger on for a little bit just to make your heart flutter once more for him. “I like you,” he says, and you try to conceal the smile pulling up on your face. “Happy?”
“Yes.”
“Where were we?” Hyunjin says and you pull him back onto you.
Maybe it was the pent up sexual tension you both had been holding in as, as soon as your lips were connected again, it became again heated. His hands are fondling with your thighs, and his tongue is slipped back down your mouth. You feel a hot sensation making its way to your core, a moan slipping from your lips. He smirked in between the kisses, his hands inching up higher now hiking you dress up.
Hyunjin continues his kisses down your neck, and you tilt your head back, letting him cover more area with his lips.
As he harshly sucks on your neck, your hands start to explore his body, caressing up and down his chest, down his covered stomach. You slowly creep them lower to his hard on that was pressing against the counter, begging to be touch. He lets out a groan at the contact.
“Hyunjin?” you whimpered at how stiff he was. You both wanted more but not on this cold bathroom counter. “Are we actually doing this here?” You ask.
“Where else would you do it?” Hyunjin looks down at you his a raised eyebrow, his hands stopping at your hips.
You look around before cheekily suggesting, “Minho’s bed,” and he cracks up.
“Come,” he takes a step back to hold your hand as you jump off the counter.
Hyunjin pulls you back onto him as he sat back on Minho’s bed - it was comfier than he expected, it was actually quite comfy to fuck on actually.
“You’re such a good kisser, it making me so horny,” He says, gripping your thighs so you’re straddling him. You feel his hard-on abusing your core and you become like jelly, draping yourself onto him. God, it was also making you so horny.
Are you both really gonna fuck in your best friend’s bed? Probably.
“Hyunjin?” You start to suck on his neck, returning the marks he gave you. “Wanna blow you… can I?” You asked, rolling your hips onto his.
He sucks in a sharp breath at the pleasure, halting your hips. “Fuck— kitten..” The pet name slipping from his lips, making you stop whatever you were doing to look him in the eyes. Did he just call you kitten? And did you like it?
“Yeah? Wanna be a good kitten? And suck me off right here in your best-friend room?” He teased after seeing your eyes lit up at the name.
“Yes.. wanna be a good kitten,” you replied, lifting his shirt to slowly to expose his abs, your hand lazily runs across his milky body.
You shuffled back, kneeling down by the bed before peeking at his happy trail. You finally got to see it up close, and you didn’t waste anytime before attaching your lips to it. Hyunjin’s hand flung to hold onto your hair and he lets out a groan as you suck the skin around his navel.
“You’re just like a kitten, nipping into me like that,” he moans.
“You love it,” you teased him.
“Yeah I do..” he confesses breathlessly. “Couldn’t stop thinking back to gym class yesterday.. how you eyed it all lesson..” Oh, so he caught you staring but didn’t say anything?
“Was it driving you insane?” He torments and you murmured nodding your head.
“God, kitten… need your mouth now, I’m might cum untouched,” he begs and you chuckle, blowing hot air from your mouth at his skin causing him to flinch.
You give him what he wants. You undo his jeans, shimmering it down his thighs before palming him through his boxer.
“Y/N, please..” he begs again, closing his eyes to hold in his release.
“You’re so big,” you say the second you pull down his boxer letting his red rock solid dick slap across his stomach. You didn’t expect him to be him to be this big, this thick. You gulp at it before wrapping your hands around him. “Wanna taste..” you blabbered as you brought his tip to your lips.
Hyunjin’s head kick back as you wrap your lips around his head. His hands gripped your hair tightly as he starts to set the pace, and you let him. He pushes you down taking half his length into your mouth before guiding you back up. You moan as he slides down your mouth, unable to control the pleasure you were having from just giving him head. Once you go match his pace, Hyunjin lets go of his grip and runs his through your hair, endlessly praising you as he tries to keeps himself together.
“You’re so good—” he sucks in another breath.
You take him fully into your mouth and gagged once he hits the back of your throat. “Ahh, cuming- cuming—” he lets out a low grunt as he paints your throat white. You swallow the warm thick liquid before letting go of him with a pop.
“Kitten, you’re so perfect. Such a good mouth,” he says finding your arm and pulling up to sit on his lap.
“Can I return the favour?” His hand wrapped around your hips, his finger carefully gathering the fabric of your skirt so he can expose your panties.
“I don’t know if I can keep quiet Hyunjin,” you admitted. You can still hear the loud music outside, even if it was muffled by the walls but a part of you’re still afraid someone might hear you. You couldn’t even keep it in while making out, nor sucking him off, you don’t know how you’ll be if you guys actually have sex.
“But I can’t leave you high like this,” Hyunjin replies, his two fingers just touching the fabric of your panties that was getting soaked by your wetness. You kick your head back at the pleasures “I just know you’re wet from sucking me off.. Let me, let me just eat you out..” he begged, his eyes turned dark full of lust.
“Please,” you gave in, out of breath.
Hyunjin plants a kiss to your neck before laying you down on the bed.
“Fuck, you are soaked,” Hyunjin says the second he lifts up your dress and sees the huge wet patch on your underwear. He kneels down and peels it off, watching a thin line of your wetness pulls off with it. Hyunjin spreads your legs wider and his eyes rolls to the back of his head as exposes you. You were wet, glistening, it was so hot to him.
You let out a moan as the cold from Minho’s room brushed against your core. “Please, need your mouth,” it was your turn to beg.
Hyunjin complies and attached his lips to your pussy. “Ahh! Mhmm.. More..” you weren’t kidding when you said you don’t know if you can keep quiet.
Hyunjin buries his face deeper as he contents to lick all over you, his nose rubbing against your clit. He was basically pussy drunk at his stage, gripping and pulling your hip closer to his faces. Your head falls back as you feel the pleasure building up in your core, your thighs volunteering closing around his head to add more pressure.
“I’m going cum, please.. Hyunjin— gonna cum..” you whine as he harshly sucks on your clit now, it was basically the cheat code in making you cum and he was able to get it the first time.
You moaned as you feel a glush of wetness explode from your core, you had cum. Hyunjin can tell you’re orgasming but he didn’t want to stop, you were too addicting.
You had to rip him off of you before you were overstimulated. “Hyunjin, too much,” you whined and he finally lifts his head.
“You taste too good kitten, sorry couldn’t stop,” he says and he wipes your wetness around his mouth with the back of his hand before licking it.
“Come here,” he jumps on the bed, pulling you into his arms. He runs his finger through your hair as you recover. You both stare at each other for a while before falling into a fit of giggles. How crazy is it that you were each other’s crush and not realising it.
“Should we go back out?” He asked smoothing down your hair.
“I have to touch up my lipstick first,” you say, pecking his nose.
“Let me help you,” he pulls you up from the bed before back hugging you to the bathroom where your bag was.
“Back to mine tonight, okay?” He reminded you softly as he wipes your lipstick in your lips - a hint of innocence radiating from him like he didn’t just lap up all your juices like a greedy animal.
“Of course, I have no where else I rather be tonight,” you answered, grinning from ear to ear at your pretty boy.
“Can’t believe it took you to squeeze into that tiny chair with Han-Ji for me to tell you,” Hyunjin beats himself up.
“It’s okay Hyunjin, I reckon the timing was perfect,” you reassured.
The house was packed now than before, it took you and Hyunjin a while to squeeze through all the people. Minho watch as you both hold hands, happily, making your way down the stairs, his smug pulling back on his face.
“Who got the bragging rights?” Minho asks cheekily as you both walk past him.
“You.” You answered rolling your eyes and Hyunjin laughs.
“You also got a messy bed too, bro,” Hyunjin taps Minho by the shoulders before following you.
Minho was left mouth agape as he stares up at the stairs. “Did they just…”
#becomingmina#skz#stray kids#skz smut#stray kids smut#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#lee know#hyunjin smut#Hyunjin suggestive#hwang hyunjin imagines#hwang hyunjin request#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin x y/n
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Pick a pile
What is coming in for you
1. 2. 3.
Pile 1
You are going to be receiving good news very soon this is something you have been hoping and waiting for. Someone is going to be helping you out with something you have been worrying about. This is finally going to work out for you and you are going to see why you had to work so hard for it. Someone here may have braces and you will be getting them off soon. There is going to be a reason to celebrate soon. If you're struggling with your health or have been feeling sick lately, your health will be getting better and improving a lot. Your wishes are coming true, you know what is best for you. Follow your heart, not what other people are telling you. Always remember everything is connected. You may be seeing 222 and 333.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 2
You may like listening to music or singing. I see you being more in the sun and outside. Something's ending and something's beginning. I feel like something has been in a constant cycle and it's finally ending. You may be getting out of winter depression. You may be hanging out with a friend or having someone over. You may just prefer to be outdoors. You love flowers and everything nature, and now that spring is coming, you feel like a new you. You may be learning something new or developing a productive skill. You're taking care of yourself more, cleaning your room, organizing everything, taking a nice shower or bath, doing your skincare, taking a nap, and reading a book. I feel like this new you is choosing peace and self love. You may be a water sign: Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 3
Someone's birthday may be coming up. You may feel like life is leaving you behind, but you are exactly where you need to be, love! Someone here may love candy and sweet treats. I feel like you have been in bed on your phone a lot lately. I feel like you're going to get justice and clarification about something you haven't been so sure about. Someone is going to make a promise to you, a good promise. Someone may have a black cat. Someone here has a secret admirer this could be from school, or someone in your business or work, but they have interest in you. I feel like you may know that, but you feel that this person is really childish. I feel like you daydream a lot.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
#pick a card#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick an image#tarot cards#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#pick a reading#daily tarot#tarot
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royal trio tennis au sketches and notes and stuff YAYYY YAY
EDIT ALSO I HOPE EVEYRONE LIKES THE SIGNATURES I CAME UP FOR THEM IN 2 SECONDS ON THE LAST SLIDE
(for clarification there r actually 2 persona tennis aus housed in my head
1) this one where royal trio are pro players striving to become intl stars
2) like a persona q3 thing where everyone plays team tennis @ their respective clubs/schools and its fun and awesome)
more notes under the cut
these r gonna be stream of consciousness bear w me ill keep it short bc imlazy
goro is born into the sport bc shido is like an intl tennis superstar but as with canon he dgaf about goro at all. his mom is dead too. etc. he probably never sees his dad except on tv and hes probably tossed around various boarding schools/tennis camps/etc so goro strives to become even BETTER of a player than his dad so 1) shido looks at him and acknowledges him and respects him 2) he can SURPASS him. thats his entire goal. anyway he prob shoulders huge expectations like oh thats ur dad so u must be a good player right and then those expectations he inflcits on himself.
sumire picks up tennis maybe around age 9-10 or so, when before that she did rhythmic gymnastics with kasumi. but even from an early age she was discontented by how Good kasumi was, almost intrinsically, and she had a gut feeling that made her switch tracks to tennis - also a sort of independent sport where SHE HERSELF can succeed on the court, without needing to depend on others. yet she still feels pressured by kasumi's success which gets in her way a lot. she feels determined to carve a name for herself bc THIS is the path she chose, so she better fucking make it count. those expectations on herself weigh heavily as well. in addition i think her parents literally dont gaf like if she becomes an intl superstar (not maliciously they just genuinely want sumire to be happy and dont demand success of her) but she kinda is like "wow they dont expect anything of me because im bad at it? then ill just have to become AMAZING so theyll have to be astounded" kinda thing
meanwhile akira was always a sporty/athletic kid, he doesnt have much attn from his parents so hes just doing whatever. soccer baseball basketball the works. but he picks up tennis at maybe age 13 and hes GOOD. so he immediately gets like scouted and Trained and he like improves in record time. hes real chill and relaxed about it though because he never Needed tennis the way sumire and goro do. hes just out here for fun and games literally. if he wins he wins - but the thing is, akira kurusu hates losing. thats the thing that propels him to the top.
shujin academy is still the same private school we know but they also house a tennis academy known as the shujin tennis academy yeah yeahyaeeayhah and they just train the coolest of players and the royal trio r their pride and joy etc
cont'd here
#cele draws#cele talks#(bc i do talk a lot here. damn)#royal trio#akira kurusu#goro akechi#sumire yoshizawa#persona 5 royal#p5r#shuakesumi#royal trio tennis au
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