#i wont stop at random this time i swear

[shvggot]

HOLY FUCKBALLS!! MY AU IS BACK BABY!!!!

MY ASK BOX IS BACK OPEN WITH ALL NEW LORE!! ASK THE NEW AND IMPROVED "SANE" BOB ANYTHING!! ASK SHAGGY ANYTHING!!! ALL THE OTHER CANON CHARACTERS ARE HERE TOO CUZ I KNOW HOW TO DRAW EM ALL!!!!!

ALSO IM REALLY FUCKIN DOWN BAD FOR IGNACIO TOO NOW LMFAO

Psssttt rebl0g >>>> likes <3

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Guhhb. I need someone to lose my mind to right now. I ocould say a mountain of text but also. Nothing. Mhnvjvg. I. The voice actor for Axlerod- Eddie Izzard- I love listening to her comedy sketches I really do. I could go on about all her stuff but I love her things she is brilliant. Uh. And of course the reason I looked her up ages ago was because I wanted to hear just more stuff as Axlerod right. Wanted to hear Axlerod say more stuff cause she doesn't change her voice or anything when doing his voice right. But most her sketches are all on Amazon Prime, there's like two up on YouTube. But. I recently learned that she has a Spotify? ?and. She uploads some of her comedy sketches there. Which I think seeing them with video is best because the gestures and like things that she does during them is really good and adds to it but I will not complain for a minute about podcast format, nonetheless because with as much as I like her stuff I'd be better of me to just buy a CDs of all her stuff than repeatedly do a subscription for them. Anyway. That's all brilliant and fantastic cause I love her stuff and I get to hear it as Axlerod. And I don't know why but sometimes when I listen to her stuff my brain like... doesn't pick it up as Axlerod? Which it's the same exact voice. But sometimes she'll say certain things and it'll really hit me. And that's important for my second bigger thing.

So I decided to go back and listen to her sketches on Spotify again because I was looking for a particular bit but I don't know which act it's from(not that I mind going through all of them anyway) and I decided okay. Just so I keep track of which I have and haven't heard I'll start at the very bottom/with the oldest and work my way up. Which I discovered some other really really cool and awesome things there that maybe perhaps I'll just save sharing it for another day. But there were some like. Music things? That she was featured in? Like compilations of a bunch of artists that got together and did things and okay I just scrolled to where her name was at and it said she was doing it with another artist and I listened to it and I was like hm... I feel like I'd super recognize hearing her sing, no? I mean I've never heard her sing before and I am desperate for that perhaps for blatant reasons becuase. Axlerod. So I was like maybe I can look it up and see a video of it. And I felt a little bit better cause okay she didn't sing I didn't completely fail myself by not recognizing her voice. But oh. Oh. She was DOING THE PIANO. The piano. That's fantastic. Didn't know she played piano in any capacity. Maybe I will project that onto Axlerod in some time we'll see.

Now. Hold on. It gets better. So I go to the next seperate thing she was featured in, completely different compilation. Also music centered. Scroll down looking for her name. It seems to be from some other movie thing but whatever. Ah. Her name is by itself now. Perhaps I. Will hear her sing. Now. As I mentioned earlier sometimes my brain has the distinction between hearing her and Axlerod and I don't know why cause it's the same exact voice. Maybe it's the way she projects her voice or a slightttest inflection that makes the difference. Mm. Auto correct is saving me right now. I click on the Spotify thingy. Funky music starts playing that I can't explain ya just gotta hear it. Not funky as in silly bouncy but funky as in like 80s-90s funky. Like the villian is doing a swagger walk up to the protagonist with a fiendish grin like they're about to sing their entire plan and destruction. I have never seen whatever film this is from I have no clue what takes place in this darn thing. Ah. I don't know how to explain it but. Yes she does sing. And this is the most Axlerod sounding thing ever. Good grief man. Oh my days. I think it's cause in the movie Axlerod is mostly projecting his voice and doing speachy sort of things so hearing Izzard speak in a more relaxed tone my brain is still connecting the wires. But in the song she is projecting her voice more so it is there more. And I'm pretty sure if you watched me you would see it in my eyes. I could be put in a glass cage in a zoo for enrichment for others to watch right now. Pausing every five seconds and replaying it cause I want to savor this I don't want it to end. I wish there was a word for this. It's him it's him he's doing the thing guys.!!*×&#$>'w828. W. Same vibes. Same vibes. I'm going to lose it.i have to pause or else I will actually explode and erupt. Start screaming and shouting and jumping up and down and flailing and shaking my arms and my hands and running around and falling to my knees.

[soclam]

it's so funny seeing people talking about their tav kicking babies to gain astarion's approval while victri is out here like "i am going to do good deeds because i simply cannot fathom doing anything else". and he's still obsessed with her because i leave him at camp most of the time sflkdhsfldk

[viennacherries]

Prompt suggestion <3 Rolan/Tav NSFW. Tav really likes it when Rolan speaks to her in infernal. She doesn’t understand it, but it doesn’t change the fact that it turns her on. He starts to notice her subtle reactions to when he curses or something in infernal. Which leads to bedroom shenanigans lol. My username is the same on A03 ^^

this has taken me a minute, mostly because i had to spend some time literally making up the infernal language for the purpose of this fic LMAO. if you're interested in my process it's in the end notes on ao3.

i changed the prompt a little though; rolan doesnt notice because he's very silly and keeps failing the perception check. lia notices immediently.

NSFW read on ao3 here

~~~

The first time Tav hears Rolan speak infernal, she doesn't even register it as a word. It slips past his tongue and it's all consonants and noises that she's not sure she could emulate properly with her non-tiefling tongue.

"Zurgan." He mutters it under his breath as he drops a pile of books.

Her quill stops midair where she's busy writing up an inventory of magical items they've found. With everyone else busy or gone from the city, she offered to help Rolan with organising the tower. It's been a nightmare, frankly. The previous tower master (she wont do him the privilege of speaking his name, the bastard) had apparently spent the last who-knows-how-many years stuffing things into random shelves and boxes.

She frowns as she tries to repeat the word, "Zu- Zurgan? What's that mean?"

Rolan jumps, clearly having forgotten she's in the room, "not zurgan, zurgan. It means- well, I don't know if it translates literally to common. It's... an expletive, I suppose ."

She laughs, "so it means 'fuck'?"

He huffs, and rolls his eyes, "I suppose that's a close enough approximation, yes."

"I don't think I've ever heard you swear before."

"Well," his brow is furrowed as he thinks, "I suppose I try not to, really. It's not becoming."

Tav snorts at that, "Gods, how old are you, 150? Besides, how is swearing in tiefling any different?"

"The language is called infernal, you uncultured swine. I'm a tiefling, I speak infernal."

"You speak something alright. Usually a crock of shi-"

"What did I say about it not being becoming, hm?"

She rolls her eyes at him, "so sorry, Master Rolan, please accept my humblest of apologies for disgracing your presence in such a regard."

He rolls his eyes at her, but she hears him snort and sees the quirk of his lip. "I suppose as far as apologies go, that one will suffice."

~~~

Several weeks later, Cal shouts through the door to the study where they're cataloguing evocation books, "Rolan! Lia and I are heading to the market, do you want us to pick up more of the wine you like?"

He laughs, which is rare enough in itself, and leans out the door to reply.

"Fazit drakon'ziz orum?!"

She hears Cal's responding cackle from down the hallway. "alright, alright, little drakon'ziz. I'll get 2 bottles, 'cos I love you."

When Rolan comes back in, chuckling to himself, Tav doesn't say anything. She wants to ask what it means, but she's... distracted.

Something about the way the words sound when he says them is... enticing. She's not sure if she could repeat them without butchering them, but even if she could she's sure they wouldn't sound as delicious as when they come from him. It's something about the rich tone to his voice, which she's always liked, coupled with the harsher edge it takes on when he speaks the foreign language.

Gods, she's been spending far too much time with him,

She clears her throat, "drakon'ziz?"

Rolan turns to her, still smiling, " drakon'ziz , but close. It means dragon."

His lopsided smile, aimed at her, coupled with the gruffness of the unknown word, is a little bit intoxicating.

"What about the rest of what you said? Fa- Fazit something?"

"'Fazit drakon'ziz orum?' It means 'does a dragon want gold?' It's a tiefling saying, basically means 'yes, obviously.' It just sounds better in infernal."

Tav agrees. It sounds rather lovely in infernal, in fact.

When Tav doesn't reply, he raises an eyebrow, "I could try and teach you some? Infernal, that is. If you'd be interested. Tell me something you want to be able to say, I'll try and teach you how to say it."

She thinks for a moment.

"What if I want to call someone a shit-head?"

He barks out a laugh as he rolls his eyes, "of course you'd just want to know how to insult people. I think the closest translation would be uzterku'zereb.  That means 'shit-for-brains'."

Despite the small jolt her stomach gives as he utters the phrase, she starts cackling. "That's even better!"

~~~

It's been about a month and a half since they started cataloguing everything in the tower, and it's basically become a nightly occurrence that Tav stays for dinner with them. Rolan has finally sat down at the dining table, after bringing all the dishes and cutlery through, and right as he hits the chair there's a sheepish voice from beside him.

"... Rolan~" It's Lia, in a singsong voice, and he huffs.

"What do you want?" It's a question, but it sounds more like an admonishment.

"How could you?! Assuming I want something from you. My beloved big brother. I look up to you so much. Also I left my drink in the sitting room."

You and Callum both laugh, and he makes a very dramatic show of pushing his chair back out with a huge sigh.

"You're such a..." He flails for a moment, as if the word in common has escaped him, "an uztanatez. Next time, you're getting it yourself."

She laughs, "My dear brother, I would fall on my sword for you."

"Mhm." He grumbles, " gladiz zurzum kuluz ..."

Cal nearly falls out of his chair laughing as Rolan trudges from the room, and Lia has a grin on her face from successfully riling him up and getting what she wanted.

Tav is blushing.

"What did he say?" She feels hesitant to bring attention to herself when she knows she's bright red, but she's also too nosy for her own good.

Lia looks at her and opens her mouth to answer, but pauses as she takes in Tav's face. Cal, blissfully, doesn't notice.

"Well the first bit was him calling her a suck up," he laughs through his explanation, "and the second bit was him telling her exactly where she could shove her sword."

She laughs, and thanks him for telling her. Lia is still looking at her. Her face warms more.

"What?"

"Hm." Lia smiles in a way that looks slightly threatening; the way Tav imagines a shark would smile at a seal before taking a huge chunk out of it. "Nothing, really. Only, you weren't that flushed before Rolan spoke in infernal. Got a thing for the devil's tongue, have you Tav?"

Cal furrows his eyebrows in confusion, before his eyes widen and his mouth drops in an 'o' of understanding.

She's about to deny it but she can feel that she's even redder now, so instead she buries her face in her hands. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare say anything!"

"Say anything about what?" Of course Rolan would walk back in now. He places Lia's cup in front of her and turns to Tav expectantly, but Lia speaks before she can.

"Tav is just embarrassed because she didn't understand what you said, she felt left out."

His face breaks into a look of confusion, "You shouldn't be embarrassed by that, Tav, you don't speak the language. Uztanatez-" Tav sucks in a breath, and Lia snorts, "means 'bootlicker'. Gladiz zurzum kuluz means... well... 'shove your sword up your rear'."

Cal and Lia are both sporting shit eating grins. Tav thinks now is a good time to pick a God and pray.

~~~

" Pulch'zer."

He says it as she walks through the door to the study one morning.

"Sorry, repeat that?"

His eyes widen, and his face flushes a deep crimson colour. She's never seen him blush before, or at least she's never noticed because of his skin's natural shade.

"Sorry I was just..." He averts his gaze, looking back at the paperwork he's working on, "I was just thinking out loud..."

She chuckles lightly. "Ah, that text will be kicking your ass then. Pulch'zer. What does it mean?"

He looks up at her again. His eyes lock with hers.

"You're close, it's not pulch'zer, it's pulch'zer . You have to put more emphasis on the 'Z' sound."

Gods, she needs to stop asking. He always ends up correcting her, and she always ends up going bright pink. He pronounces the words more precisely when he's teaching her how to say them, it drives her insane.

"Pulch- Pulch? Pulch'zer."

He chuckles, stands and walks over to her. "You're close, but now you're putting too much emphasis on it." He's only an arms length away from her now. " Pulch'zer ."

She gulps. He needs to stop repeating it.

"P- Pulch'zer." She can't tear her eyes away from him, she stares right into his gaze as she repeats it. He sucks a small breath in, so small it's barely noticeable.

"Yes. Very good."

There's a pause.

"So. What does it mean?"

He's flushing again. "It... Well. It..."

She raises an eyebrow, "that bad huh?"

"... it means 'beautiful'."

Tav's face twists in confusion. "What about your book is beaut-"

Rolan surges forward and plants his lips on hers. She gasps into it, the rest of her words swallowed by her inhale and his tongue. She sinks into it. His hands fall onto her waist, and he uses them to drag her closer, pulling the whole length of his body against hers. When he pulls away it feels far too soon, but in his defence he's breathless. He only leans his chest away, his hips still against hers.

"I wasn't talking about the book."

The look in his eyes is vulnerable in a way she's never seen him before. As though he desperately wants her to understand, and yet is terrified that she will. Like he's scared to fracture whatever comfortable thing they've fallen into together.

"Well..." She takes a deep breath, rests a hand on his chest. "Then I'd like you to know that I think you're very pulch'zer."

He sucks in through his teeth and lets out a single disbelieving laugh. "That sounds ridiculously good when you say it, you know."

She snorts, dismissive, "please, it's far better when you say it. I love when you speak infernal."

He stares at her.

She feels her eyes bug out of her head as what she said hits her. "I mean! Not that- I don't mean that like-"

"You love it? What does that mean?"

She can feel the heat in her face. Suddenly everywhere he's touching her is too much, she needs to fall through the floor to a new realm and start her life over with a fake name.

"I don't- I didn't mean-"

As she fumbles over her words, Rolan's face starts to lift into an understanding smirk. "Oh. I see. You love it."

He leans forward towards her, and his lips brush her ear.

"Tibiz plazet link'zon mezoq ?"

She shudders, "Rolan, I have no idea what you're saying."

He chuckles lowly against the shell of her ear. " Zedzit'n, nul'umne? Zede illizquit diko ."

Gods, it's torturous. He's dropped his voice an octave, giving the already heavy words an even more gravelled tone. Her breath is coming out in pants and she whines. The way it's affecting her is ridiculous.

He doesn't stop, " morentez me'zam? Notzo'illi ."

"Rolan, please."

He grins against her, and she feels his length pressing against her body through his robes. " Quid plaket, dilekt'miz ?"

" Rolan , common tongue, please . I want to know what you're saying."

"I said 'please what?'"

Tav huffs in irritation, "I don't know."

He brings his lips up to brush hers, smiling against her as she tries to pull him closer.

"Do you want me to kiss you again?"

She swallows hard around the lump in her throat and nods.

"Mhm. Ask me nicely."

The noise she lets out is embarrassing, a high pitched whine that she couldn't stop if she tried, but she feels his breath against her lips as he exhales in excitement.

"Kiss me, Rolan. Please."

His smile is wide against her, "as you wish, pulch'zer."

When he kisses her, his lips are gentle against hers. Soft and pliant, eager but restrained. When he parts them slowly, she responds in kind and finds his tongue with hers, and he rewards her with a deep, sensual moan from low in his throat. His lips are warm and soft, his mouth tastes of spearmint, his breath flows through her. She feels her small-clothes growing damp.

As he deepens the kiss his movements grow more insistent, more intense, and he squeezes her hips as he grinds her into him. She moans in response and the noise flips a switch in him. All of a sudden his lips are frantic, the kiss turning messy and needy, and his hands are running up and down her body as thought they don't know where to settle.

He pulls back enough to speak, his breath dancing along her lips, his voice barely above a whisper. " Nezkiz quid'mih fakiaz. Volui'illi tamd'umne ."

Tav moans, long and slow as the words rush over her skin, "Gods, Rolan. I wish I knew what you were saying. Fuck ."

He chuckles quietly, "perhaps I'll teach you Comprehend Languages. Then again... Forzit adv'illi."

She groans. "Rolan, please ."

He grins, grinding his length against her, "please, what?"

The huff she lets out is impatient, "you know what."

His mouth traces the shell of her ear again and she shivers. "Perhaps. But tell me anyway."

She groans, "please fuck me, Rolan."

He needs no further invitation. Rolan undresses them both rapidly, swift and efficient just as he treats his work, and they're both bare before each-other in a few moments.

When he looks over her, sweeping his eyes across her form, he lets out a low noise of appreciation. "Hells, Tav, you're beautiful."

She feels nervous, all of a sudden, bare before him, but she smiles despite it. "So are you."

He's back on her, trailing his lips along her throat and collarbone, leaving teasing bites and grazes with his canines. She's a whimpering, writhing mess beneath him but she doesn't care. She can feel his length pressed against her stomach, can feel the grooves of the door on her back, and she's absolutely aching with need.

"Is this okay? Are you comfortable?" His questions make her chest ache with a different kind of need to the one pulsing through her core.

"Yes, Rolan. Please, for the love of- fuck me against this door."

His moan in response to her words is loud and wanton. " Hells , Tav. Lift your leg for me."

She does, and he grabs under her knee, lifting it up so it wraps around his hip, the heel of her foot against the base of his tail while her other foot stays planted against the floor. His other hand comes between them, grips the base of his cock and rubs it against her folds. She throws her head back as she keens, and at the same time he lets out a groan closer to a growl.

"Fuck, you're so wet. Is- This is still okay? You want this?" His voice wavers with lust.

Hearing him curse is almost as incredible as hearing him speak infernal. "Yes , Gods if you don't-"

He's sliding himself into her before she can finish her threat, and the rest of her words fizzle out into a high pitched moan as she throws her head back. His length is ridged and she can feel every notch as it slides into her. He works his way into her slowly, thrusting only an inch at a time until his pelvis comes to rest against hers, and he folds over to rest his forehead against her shoulder.

His first half of his sentence is muttered, the second half directed at her, "Tam strikta , fuck. Ita infek'tum strikta. Tell me when you're ready, dilekt'miz."

"I'm ready, please, fuck me."

He silences his own moan by clamping his mouth over the meat between her neck and shoulder, and begins thrusting shallowly. The slide of him inside her, the ridges on his shaft dragging against her walls, has her tightening her leg around his waist and dragging him closer. He grunts through his mouthful of her skin and starts to pick up his pace, until he's thrusting hard and fast into her.

She's a mess, and she knows it, but it doesn't matter. She's digging her heel into his ass and arching her hips away from the door to get closer to him, head thrown back and eyes wrenched shut. It's too much, but it's not enough. She grabs his hand that isn't holding her knee up and places it round the back of her other thigh. He's a quick study as always, taking a firm hold on the back of her leg and hoisting her other leg up around him, so she's held up against the door by just his weight against her and his bruising grip. It changes the angle, he drives deeper into her, and they both moan in tandem.

He's speaking again, infernal dialect spilling from him freely into her skin, " Nezkiz. Nezkiz quam di'tez vellem. Quamdiu korpuz tuum'kontraz petivi. Vid'tez habzeq. Miz'tib animez'umne ." He speaks the words with a reverence that that has her keening, clenching around him.

"Rolan, I'm so close, fuck don't stop."

He shakes his head, thrusts into her harder, "Hells, I won't, Tav. I won't, I won't, adv'illi, adv'illi -"

The utterance of more quiet infernal words against her tips her over the edge, and she finds her release around him. His movements become stuttered, desperate, " Tez amorez. Tez amorez taz'multo. Perfik'miz. Amaz, amaz, num'quam latuz dezeraz. Morent'illi anim defendam."

He follows her over the precipice and empties himself inside her. She tightens her hold on him with her legs and kisses his neck as his hips twitch through his release, and as he stills they both try to find breath against each-other's skin.

"Gods, Tav." His voice is hoarse, "you- that was- I-"

She chuckles, which makes her walls clench and his hips stutter as he gasps at the feeling. "That was amazing, Rolan. What... Um. What were you saying?"

She pulls away to look at him, and his face is incredibly red. His freckles are barely visible through the violent blush. "Oh, um. Nothing- Nothing, really. Nothing important. Just... babbling. You know."

She laughs, slowly lowering her legs to the ground, both shuddering as he pulls himself from her. He mutters a quick incantation and they're both clean.

"You're going to have to teach me Comprehend Languages, now. I'm far too nosy to leave it at that."

"Hm. We'll see."

~~~

Translations:

"Tibiz plazet link'zon mezoq?" ("You like when I speak to you in my native tongue?")

"Zedzit'n, nul'umne? Zede illizquit diko." ("But you don't care, do you? It's not about what I say.")

"Morentez me'zam? Notzo'illi." ("Moaning for me already? Aren't I lucky.")

Quid plaket, dilekt'miz?" ("Please what, my beloved?")(he lies and tells her it means "please what?")

"Nezkiz quid'mih fakiaz. Volui'illi tamd'umne." ("You have no idea what you do to me. I have wanted you for so long.")

"Then again... Forzit adv'illi." ("Then again... Perhaps I won't.")

"Tam strikta, fuck. Ita infek'tum strikta. Tell me when you're ready, dilekt'miz." ("So wet, fuck. So tight and wet. Tell me when you're ready, my beloved.")

"Nezkiz. Nezkiz quam di'tez vellem. Quamdiu korpuz tuum'kontraz petivi. Vid'tez habzeq. Miz'tib animez'umne." ("You have no idea. You have no idea how long I've wanted you. How long I've craved your body against mine. I have dreamt of having you like this. My soul burns for you.")

"adv'illi" ("I won't.")

"Tez amorez. Tez amorez taz'multo. Perfik'miz. Amaz, amaz, num'quam latuz dezeraz. Morent'illi anim defendam." ("I love you. I love you so much. You complete me. Please, please never leave my side. I would protect you to my dying breath.")

[ellieslittleburrow]

Requested by : @mymelodymia : you can't fall asleep. And clingy you needs to be around someone. Joel is -forced- to help. And Ellie is there to make sure you regret it.

Warnings : none, just internal swearing

Pairings : Joel Miller x daughter!reader /Ellie x platonic-sister!reader

----

It's been a few months since you've been traveling with Ellie and Joel. Your friendship with both of them has been developping smoothly. As well as their own with each other.

While on a nightly stop out in central wyoming, Ellie had taken watch so that you and Joel could get some sleep....Joel could get some sleep. His snores, as uneven as they were, pierced the space. And you couldn't sleep. Not because of the constant tiring irritating snoring, but just because you simply couldn't.

Giving up and getting out of the uncomfortably thin matress, you shuffle your feet, roaming around the cave and then out to find Ellie.

But she was walking away.

"Where are you going?" Your voice booms, causing Ellie to duck and turn around.

"Go to sleep, what are you doing up at this hour?"

Honestly....you do not know. You shrugged.

"Go back to bed, man."

"I can take over..."

"No. You already took watch yesterday. Go to sleep."

Ughhhh. There's no way you'll be able to fall asleep. You unfortunately knew yourself too much. Nothing could stop that irritating feeling of wanting to be close to someon-

Hmmm.....

You head towards Joel, and stop a few inches away from him, squatting down to get closer to his face. You didn't want to scare him(no. You'd love to scare him but his fast reflexes would have you end up with a broken neck)

"Joel.." you whispered. But no sign of life from the man. So you tapped his shoulder, starting gently and going harder and harder, violating his shoulder until he huffed.

"What?"

You fidged, shrugging. "Nothinng." It sounds more like a question and Joel goes silent.

"Then why are you waking me up?"

You go quiet yourself...darting your eyes away from him even though the moon was straight behind you, meaning that all was lit BUT your face.

"Mmmm....well...."

"Spill." The man seems to be impatient.

"Can i...i can't sleep. Can i sleep with you-"

"No."

Uh-but you haven't even finished your sentence.

"Hear me out, joel-i"

"No. No. No. Go back to the other room and force yourself to sleep. It's much safer there anyways."

You slouch your shoulders. "But i don't caaare...i want to sleep here." You sternly argue, having made the decision that tonight, you choose.

"No." Joel says again as he shifts his head for a better sleeping position. "Now let me sleep."

"Okay then." You respond, sitting down on the ground. "Then i wont stop talking until you change your mind." You cross your arms over your chest, your brain fishing for things to blabber about for as long as it will take.

If you can't sleep, might as well benefit from your free time.

And then you start blabbering, about random things like the sky....the cold...El-

"Okay."

Well, that was quick. You think.

Joel shifts his body to the side, reaching for the space behind before he pats it and you hop over him and lay beside him, your back facing his.

You grin, quickly accomodating yourself to a comfortable position.

"Sleep." Joel commands but....you can't. The warmth radiating out of his body is too damn comfy. You might not be...in his arms. But you haven't been this close to him ever. And it feels....good. You don't think you'll fall asleep anytime soon...although..your eyes are suddenly feeling heavy...Damn...how long as it been since you've felt such physical and mental warmt-......

----

"Wakey wakey little missy."

Snatched out of a beautifully blurry dream, your eyes violently open to a blinding light, causing you to shut them even more violently.

Hell....what in the f-

"Look who's finally up."

You might be deeply disoriented from the sleep you've just been kidnapped from, but that annoying little voice will never be one you can't easily recognize. Not only is it the voice but it's also the sacrcastic tone of-

"Ellie, what the hell do you wan-"

You squint to find yourself staring at a horizontal Ellie. You proceed to move but a pair of hands turn out to be wrapped around your chest. You try to free yourself but the arms around tighten their grip, causing a quick panic to set-

You spin your head around, meeting a pair of half closed eyes-you're envelloped in Joel's arms-

When did that happen?

"Joel." You gently nudge the man's stomach, earning yourself a groan. "Joel let go of me." Your voice is as low as it can get. It's not a whisper, it's just a worried tone. Worried about the crippling smirk painted on Ellie's dumb fucking face.

You know her well enough to know what she's thinking about and you just-you can-

"Joooell...."Your roar comes out as a whine.

A deep inhale tickles your ear and Joel seems to be annoyed but he only wraps his arm around you tighter.

"Let gooooooo....."

Your eyes search for something to fixate on as your face flushes red. You're embarrassed and you want to hide, but Ellie's....persistent. and Joel doesn't seem to want to l-

"Nope." He doesnt seem to want to let go.

"Joel, shes gonna be making fun of m-"

"No. You're stuck here." He groans, stretching his body without letting go of you. "She'll make fun of you wether you're in my arms or not, better take the ooportunity and enjoy this new pillow i got for free." Your da-Joel's voice is soft and reassuring.

And deep down, you'd rather he stays like that forever....You know what? Fuck Ellie.

You turn around, facing his chest. You're still too shy to look up, but this- his earthy(stinky) shirt and the soft puffing of his chest as he inhales-this..is enough for now.

"Mmmmm." You whine, keeping that annoyed salty tone to not have them know....but..they know. And it's not really that much of a problem. You just....like being in your dad's arms and you want to enjoy the moment.

-----

Hiiii babe! I really really hope you like this. It was really fun to write. But wtf is that ending omg. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for your sweet comments 🪷🪷🪷

[chigirilover69]

HIHII im a sucker for kenma content so can u pls write a kenma x reader fluff (song: Feel the POP), where kuroo sets up kenma on a date with reader? I got this idea from wttpad123 on tt in their kenma hc vid btw creds to them ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜱ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀ…🍮🏐

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ…

𖥔 ִ ་  ، ˖ ࣪🥋

yakunote: AHJDSJKD MY FIRST REQ 🥹 i myself am i kenma stan so i hope i do it justice <333

ᴛᴡꜱ: minor swearing, slightly ooc kenma

February was nearing, the subject of valentines being the new talk of the town. they were highschool, right? it was unavoidable. even to his own best friend…

“c’mon! you’ll be graduating next year. your really gonna pass on the CHANCE of teenage romance?”

it was really starting to bother him. so what if he isint intrested in the sappy, lovey-dovey romance story so common to kids his age? he’s perfectly content in his own little bubble with his PSP. did that stop the petulant, persistent, nagging kuroo? of course not.

on a fateful friday, just a day before valentines the team finishing up their last drill for the week, as he approached kenma, with that mischievous, shit eating grin once again.

“Kenma! so… you know how its valentines tomorrow? i got you a date! and not some regular-girl. shes totally up your ally, heard’ she plays games too—!”

“no.”

kenma, through years of having to put up with his behavior has found the perfect solution— say his mind, no matter how blunt it is. he knew kuroo would see past his monotone, flat tone with his eyes glued to the next round of whatever game he was on.

“UGHHHH your so damn BORING! just this once! you wont regret it, i swear!”

though his efforts rendered useless, kenma being long gone before he could get another word out.

the walk home consisted of bickering, kuroo and kenma’s stubbornness going at it the whole 15 minute walk.

“why are you so persistent? i said no, its final.”

“well… i kinda promised her… you’d go on a date on saturday…”

of course, kuroo wasent a bad person. in any other situation, he would have asked first! this unfortunately was different… he thought his charm would reach out to the most closed-off person he knows, though his attempt unsuccessful.

“you…PROMISED HER for me to do something before i knew?”

he asked, with a bite in his tone, he was cooked.

“CMON!!! just one date! i’ll tell her your uninterested after, promise! im so sorry…!”

he mumbled the last part apologetically. well, kenma still cared for his friends. and for the things kuroo did for him, it wouldent be too difficult to just go on one date right…?

his mind pondered on his situation for a heartbeat longer, before he heard—

“oh yeah! she also said she plays metal gear!”

kuroo mentioned, just out of remembering, maybe they would have something in common? well, thankfully to him he was right.

being a veteran gamer at the ripe age of 16, he was starstruck. he had never met another metal gear fan. it wasent like it was the most underground game in history, but it certainly wasent super popular.

so maybe, that changed his mind. a little bit.

|| 14 | 02 ||

he was brought to a nearby cafe, one hes heard was pretty popular for some good drinks. as he waited for his date to arrive, he pulled out his PSP, going to play a bit of mario cart to pass the time.

“oh, is that twisted mansion course? thats my favorite!”

he heard from behind him, making him flinch a little. after exchanging a few apologies, they started chatting. he found it weird… why wasent his date here yet? it was 1:40 pm, 40 minutes after her expected arrival.

but time didint matter. this random girl who just coincidentally went to the same cafe didint tear down his walls, but gently melted them like a warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter day. within the span of an hour, which felt like a mere minute to kenma, his reserved, quiet personality didint disappear, but was kept behind as the analytical, nerdy gamer in him came out.

ranting about theories on various games, strategies, methods, all while sipping on his wintermelon milk tea. it felt unusual, in all the best ways.

by the time they parted, leaving not with eachothers numbers, but rather their project sekai, genshin, honkai, and leauge ID’s, and a subtle blush on eachothers faces. at this point, kenma didint even recall him supposedly having a date.

once he got home, playing matches, defeating bosses, and helping he on some levels on games, she mentioned, out of the blue, on their nearly 3 hour long, and counting call.

“shit! I was supposed to go on a date today, a blind one. but i didint have any information on who it was sooo-! but im glad i met you, you know?”

she mentioned, with a light chuckle.

despite being set up together, fate brought them closer.

yakunote: as i mentuoned its my first time writing HUHU so if there s any criticism pls be nicee

[yeonlogic]

★ baby be mine ⋆｡°✩

PAIRING bestfriend!gyu + f!reader GENRE/WARNINGS fluff, crack, friends to lovers au, gyu works in a vinyl shop, gyu gets friendzoned woopsies, mild swearing, semi smau reader is friends with chaewon & kazuha from lsrfm

SYNOPSIS you and gyu have been friends since you first saw each other at school and now your starting to develop feelings for him

wc: around 3k?

“are you done picking out a vinyl you want or what” beomgyu complained looking at you look through the compartment full of vinyls

“yeah yeah whatever, you work here anyway im sure the owner wont mind you closing up the shop late” you said as you took a look around the cd section thinking about whether you should get a cd or a vinyl.

“okay uhm I decided Im not getting anything” you chuckled nervously looking at beomgyu knowing he would say something about it

“yah you cant just spend hours looking at the shop for around 3hours and not picking anything!?” he frowned “okay okay Im sorry ill make it up to you and help you close down the shop.”

you two started closing down the shop together. as you two finished you took a look at the city in the night admiring how it looked.

“your still walking me home right..?” you said turning to him as he was locking up the shop door “yeah I always do cuz your scared of those weirdos who would come after you” he teased “well Its not my fault its scary, what if a random guy chases me or something” your voice had a hint of worry and nervousness as you said that, gyu walked up to you by your side “Its alright ill be your night and shining armor” beomgyu said jokingly “now come on its getting late.”

you two walked the streets together your hands shoved In the pocket of your hoodie, it was cold freezing cold.

“hey if you have the time you should teach me how to use the guitar” you nudged his shoulder with yours looking at him with a smile on your face, “how about tomorrow? If you can” he chuckled “also your shivering a lot.. is it that cold..?” he grabbed your wrist stopping you from walking away as he took his jacket off and draped It on your shoulders, your heart was beating from how close he was to you, you were so used to him being close to you all the time but why was this one different?

you felt your cheeks heat up a bit but you didnt worry about it too much. “thanks..” you murmured, his jacket was warm enough to block the cold, “dont mention it” he replied as you two continued to walk back to your home.

“thanks for walking me back home gyu” you smiled and gave him a hug, “also here you should take your jacket back” you took it off as beomgyu stopped you from doing it “no keep it, it looks better on you” he laughed softly “ill see you tomorrow?” “mhm” you replied as you entered your house going into your room.

you dropped onto your bed looking up at the ceiling confused about what you were feeling at that moment gyu gave you his jacket that was now wrapped around your torso.

you grabbed your phone from your pocket and opened the messages app.

you turned off your phone and placed it on your bedside table, you felt confused why were you feeling these random butterflies in your stomach whenever you think about beomgyu oh god “THE FUCKING HEART?!?!?” you screamed into your pillow “okay clam down maybe its just a platonic gesture calm down and just sleep this through.” you muttered to yourself as you layed down on your bed.

you were In a cafe with chaewon since everyone from school was on school break so you both decided to hang out today

“ugh Im so glad were on break right now i think I would’ve passed out if the teacher gave us any more test papers” she ranted and complained while you were zoned out lost in your thoughts about last night.

“y/n?, helloo earth to y/n!?, Y/N!!!” chae snapped at you “huh?” you replied “girl did you even listen to what I was saying” “uh yeah ofc”

“then what did I say?” one of her eyebrow was raised up “uhm that you wanted that bag you saw?” chaewon looked at you

“seriously y/n whats got you acting so weird this day” chaewon stared at you while sipping her iced coffee, “honestly I dont even know Its just something about last night..” you said nervously “tell me, maybe I can do something about it”

“promise me you wont laugh..?” “duhh.”

“Its just I never knew I’d look at my bestfriend differently, you know beomgyu right?” “yeah the one who works at the vinyl shop down town right” chaewon replied

“yeah.. well uhm I was with him last night and he walked me home but its something about the way he saw I was freezing and gave me his jacket— but I mean its not even that romantic Its the part where he put the jacket on me he was so..close something about that just felt so different to me because Im so used to being close with him all the time but it was just that one moment that made me realize maybe I have feelings for him..?” you sighed and covered your face with your hands “chaeeee what do I dooo” you pleaded feeling embarrassed to talk about this to your girl bestfriend

“Look as much as I dont know shit about love I can tell you definitely have feelings for him I mean.. you two were friends since 8th grade till now you two are technically inseparable” she shrugged “I guess..maybe If i just ignore him for the whole week maybe he wont notice that I have feelings for him??” “idk girl im sorry but I dont know what to do.”

6:22 PM

you arrived at the vinyl shop where you could see gyu standing at the cash register as you entered the shop and approached him.

“hey gyu um..we might have to cancel that guitar lesson since Im gonna be busy this day” you smiled nervously at him hoping he wouldn’t ask you why or what your gonna do. “oh alright..” he said, you could feel a bit of sadness from his voice and you felt bad because of it, “maybe next time?” you said as you left the shop feeling guilty.

beomgyu went home to his shared apartment with his friends as he saw soobin and hueningkai playing a videogame together on the couch, gyu approached them and grabbed the tv remote and turned It off and sat Inbetween the two boys “heyy I was about to beat soobin hyung” kai frowned “yah why are you so grumpy today” soobin side eyed him “its nothing..” gyu responded and sat up from the couch and went to his bedroom.

-

another day passes by and you and chaewon are together spending time at the arcade just chatting and playing some games, you havent chatted gyu ever since that night because of how scared you were for him to find out you have a crush on him.

“oh btw y/n I invited kazuha we havent seen her in so long and apparently shes taking a 1 week vacay here” chaewon was excited to see your guys friend that you havent seen from since she left the country.

“holy shit zuha Is taking a vacation here?!?!? why didn’t you tell me earlier!!” you were suprised as you saw kazuha enter the arcade from the entrance, you ran towards her so fast and engulfed her in your arms “zuhaaa you never told me you came heree you dont know how much i missed you” “im still here yk” chaewon pouted and crossed her arms looking at you

kazuha chuckles “I wanted it to be a suprise for you two, what are we waiting for? enough about me being here i still have to make it up to you two since i havent spent time with you guys ever since” she frowned as you and chaewon gave her a hug.

-

“taehyun you promised me your gonna win me a plushie from the claw machine right” kai giggled looking at tyun “yeah yeah whatever” taehyun responded.

“hey gyu isnt that y/n over there?” yeonjun looked at beomgyu, beomgyus gaze was on you. “be right back guys” he said and ran towards you but he overheard your convo with your friends.

“hey y/n have you and that guy bestfriend youve been friends for like what 5 years? what was his name..? oh beomgyu! have you two ever dated yet? you two were stuck together like glue.” kazuha asked you

you coughed “what? oh beomgyu! hes just a friend”

“friend, friend, friend”

was all that gyu heard from that convo, he immediately left and went to his friends and told them that he wasnt in the mood to play arcade games with them so he left early.

“why does it have to be the girl i like to friend zone me like that” gyu sighed as he slumped on his bed just thinking about you “agh fuck this is embarrassing beomgyu get yourself together” he murmured to himself.

-

same old day just beomgyu sitting on the couch with taehyun on his left and soobin on his right, “do you guys know if y/n likes anyone by any chance..” gyu asked “lol no.” soobin responded “wow thanks soobin” beomgyu scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“if i do remember her friend chaewon told me she liked someone but im just not sure who” taehyun said as he scrolled on his phone “did i hear gyu having a crush?” yeonjun teased.

“it just..pisses me off how she hasnt talked to me for 2days and now shes telling her friends that im just a friend to her..” he sighed laying his head back on the header of the couch “wait wait y/n friendzoning you?” kai chuckled “shes just saying that chaewon told me about it.”

“told you about what?” he says.

“that she likes you duhh” kai responded “come on gyu you needa step up your game its so obvious she likes you because of how shes ghosting you and saying your just a friend cause shes hiding the fact she likes you!?” kai chuckles looking at how dumbfounded beomgyu looked “OoOoo~ beomgyus inlove~” soobin and yeonjun teased him about it “shut up.” was gyus response.

beomgyu got up from the couch and went into his room opening the messages app from his phone and texted you.

“wanna meet up..? my treat :)” he sends the send button as he waits for your reply.

*buzz buzz*

his phone vibrated from your notification. “sure! what time??” you replied to his text msg “right now maybe?” gyu replied.

he got up from his bed and immediately grabbed his shoes and slipped them on and rushed out the door. “whats up with him?” taehyun said “inlove for sure” soobin added.

-

as he got In his car, he drove to your place and parked his car right infront of your house, as he gets out of the driver seat he goes up to your door *knock knock*

“coming!!” you rushed downstairs and answer the door to see beomgyu on your doorstep “hey uhm havent seen you in awhile whats the occasion for the hang out?” you smiled.

“just something i have something to tell you” gyu chuckled nervously as he opened the car door for the passenger seat for you.

you two went on a city night drive with snooze by sza playing on the radio everything was going chill and calm until gyu stopped at a park. “were here” he smiled and got out of the car to open the car door to the passenger seat.

- you two sat on a bench, silence filling up the air. “so..what were you gonna talk about?” you said breaking the silence “i’ve just been thinking..for the past few days you’ve been ignoring me and avoiding texting me which i kinda hated not gonna lie” “he giggled “but during those days I honestly realized i couldnt be myself without you talking to me for 2days i know call me dramatic but i cant live without talking to you y/n” he frowned, you honestly didnt know how to react about it.

“im sorry i havent talked to you..I- just was feeling things that i felt that was wrong i mean- ugh fuck am i really about to say this?, Im confused about my feelings gy-“ “I like you too dummy.” He responded before you could finish your sentence. you just sat there looking at him “dont look at me like that its true” he giggled “fine i admit it I like you- actually no I love you” you finally said it and oh how you felt so relieved to let those words slip out of your mouth knowing your best friend beomgyu felt the same way as you did.

“so if I like you and you like me..does that mean we’re a couple or?” gyu said as you just laughed “yes. yes gyu i would gladly be your girlfriend” you smiled at him as you gave a kiss on his cheek making his heart flutter.”

“well im glad because I love you too” he responded and kissed you, you felt a wave of shock from it and didnt know how to explain it but your lips just melted with his, his lips were soft and plush on yours. “Im so glad your mine now.” He whispered.

a/n: PHEEEEWWW I finally finished this my hands are lowkey sweating rn but I hope you guys enjoy this 🥹 I might make extra beomgyu bf texts for this later so ^^

heres sum extra gyu content added onto this ff I did!!

bf!gyu texts

[callme-holly]

shmoopie, I've missed you. general johnny cade headcanons *angelic music starts playing in the background*

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - should i be making a revision plan? yes. did i stop to write these instead? obviously.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 410 words

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Johnny does not need babying.

Stop it. He is not a wuss, okay?? Stop treating him like he’s incapable of defending himself. He’s not. 

Now that that’s cleared up, let’s move onto the good shit.

Johnny is a cat person. Try and change my mind.

He’s feeding all the stray cats at the lot before he even thinks about feeding himself and I bet my entire life savings that he’s got this really scrawny, ratty looking cat that follows him around everywhere. 

I think he can cook pretty well. Like he would have had to have fed himself at home (I don’t imagine his parents ever bothered cooking) so he sort of had to learn himself with the help of the Curtis brothers. 

He is sassy. Do not fuck with him; he will shut you down faster than you can blink.

He probably steals stuff from people at school. Maybe not intentionally. He might borrow something off of someone and then forget to give it back, but he will never return it after.

He’s probably got a little box of random trinkets he has collected over time. They’re all irrelevant things and not at all needed, but he just doesn’t want to throw them away in case they become important in the future (they wont.)

He spends most nights over at the Curtis home, so much so that he practically lives on the floor of Soda and Pony’s room. They tell him to take the couch, but he refuses everytime. 

He strikes me as the kinda of person who will sit out in the rain and just watch a storm. He doesn't care if he gets sick and will only come inside if he really has to. 

He is crazy good at card games. He’ll win everytime and Steve swears down on everything he owns that Johnny cheats. Steve is just a sore loser. 

He’s very protective over certain members of the gang. While he won’t confront someone directly if they are bad-mouthing one of his friends, he will certainly shoot them dirty looks until they get the hint.

He probably talks to bugs when he’s alone at the lot. He seems like that kind of person.

Like he sees a bee or something, and he’ll just be sitting watching it and talking to it. 

Overall, Johnny is the sweetest and is tougher than most people give him credit for <33

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

[sunny-ssunset]

*smiles seductively and comes closer* I'm back, honey, I was really happy with the princess kenny one-shot, I was wondering if you could do something like, kyle and reader don't know each other, but they feed the same stray cat and they conventionally go to feed this cat at the same time *bites my bottom lip and and winks with my both eyes*

How i met your mother

Kyle broflovski x fem reader

divider by some random website i found on google

Masterlist!

♡Hey boo *Looks you up and down* Hope you dont mind if its fem reader (if its a problem i'll change it lol) Also genuinely sorry for how bad the princess kenny oneshot was, i was on one then. I promise this one wont be as bad *Crouches down awkwardly and worships you cuz ur a snack* (AGED UP)

"Dad??" She looked up at Kyle, beady eyed. "Yes honey" He replied, sounding a little distracted because he was serving their lunch.

"How did you meet mom?" The little girl inquired, tilting her head to the side. Kyle turns around stopping every thing hes doing and he sits at the table, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his whole life. "So there was this cat."

*Cutesy little flashback scene*

I was stopping at the corner shop as per usual, to get this certain brand of cat food. I mean, for a stray cat this one was very picky, This girl from class, was buying the same brand, I let her go first, I'm a gentleman you know how it is. As she mumbled a thanks, I grabbed a tin.

I waited in line and paid, I'm no robber, Then I walked home.

"Dad this is boring...." Patience child....

Anyways I got into the greenish house, "KYLE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!" Jesus..... "Mom I went to the store like normal." After a long talk about safety, I went upstairs and played world of warcraft for a while then at 7 pm i grabbed the cat food and a small dish.

I left the house and walked to the park, To find the little stray kitten, but there she was lying down in all her glory. In my opinion she was starting to look less skinny, To which I of course take credit for, so i poured the cat food into the tin, But the little kitten wouldn't eat it? Then Behind her I saw that there was already food out for her!!

To be honest this really annoyed me. How dare this person feed that cat. I've fed it for MONTHS! Since the day its mother left her. This mystery person wont know what food it should be having?! This guy wont know the kitten like i do! So I devised a plan. I was going to feed the cat directly after school. So I could get there first, off I went to the shop to buy more cat food, I mean i couldn't do it after school I had to feed the cat of course.

Then I went home, and did my chores and stuff

"Boringggg" Stop whining I'm getting there.

I went to school as usual and then went straight to the park, like trust me I ran, FAST. But to my suprise I was too late... But wait a minute?! It was that girl from class??? I sighed and turned around to go home, "Hey your Kyle broflovski?? The kid from my maths class?" SHE KNEW WHO I WAS?! I swear I'd never turned around so fast. "Yeah, I usually come feed this cat too but i guess im to late" I chucked.

"Jesus dad you are so attention seeking" .....

Anyways so. As i was saying ahem...

"Aww I'm sorry well I'm thinking about adopting it, i dont want it to live without a family for ever. How about you come round sometime after i adopt it and check up on her?" A PRETTY GIRL WAS MAYBE INVITING ME TO HER HOUSE?!?!?!

And basically, Y/n did adopt her, and I got number and-

"Whos Y/n?" I'M GETTING TO THAT SWEETHEART.

And as i was saying I went to her house sometimes to check on mittens, The cat she adopted and We started to like eachother and then we started dating... Bought a house and That, Is how i met your mother.

"WAIT WHAT Y/N IS MOM??? WHAT HAPPENED TO MITTENS!?? WHEN WAS I BORN???"

Jesus Child....

dividers by @khaer

[reorientation]

okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

CAWF Tumblr simulator

🦠 Neutro-2145 Follow

B Cell hasn't worked in a while, the bacteria tastes bland…

(56 Notes)

❤️ IM1235 Follow

The neutrophils are so cool when they're saving the body! I should get them a gift to show my gratitude!

❤️ IM1235

Ok I just saw them rip out the insides of an infected cell, I don't think I can sleep tonight.

#oh my god #do they do that all the time???

(45 notes)

🧸 Dendri217 Follow

I don't think sewing lactic acid bacteria nearly everyday is good for my mental health, but it sure is fun! I need to go outside more I think

#lactic acid bacteria #my beloved #maybe I have too many of them #but you can never have too many lactic acid bacteria

(11 notes)

🎆 RegT59 Follow

As much as I love Helper T as a friend I wish he'd stop buying random things with our budget. He didn't even solve the Rubik's cube he bought last time, now he's buying those metal wire puzzles.

🎆 RegT59

He offered to get me something and I bought a conch shell just because it looked interesting. His bad habits are rubbing off on me.

#sigh #i should just stick to solitaire #our office is getting so cluttered

(64 notes)

⚪ Neutro-3033 Follow

The amount of people that don't know not all neutrophils enjoy eating bacteria or infected cells is wild. Have you tried to eat some?? It's terrible. Some of us only eat it because it's part of the job.

#i swear #its so annoying #at least the RBCS bring us stuff other than bacteria #i really wouldn't mind something less sweet

(82 notes)

✖️ Cross-TCell reblogged

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

How do I tell my subordinates that I don't actually hate them and that I'm just strict and they need to stop being so sloppy? Believe me guys I like having you around please invite me to something I'm begging you

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

That was a moment of weakness ignore that (please invite me please please please ple

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

WHICH ONE OF YOU REBLOGGED THIS?? NOW ALL MY SUBORDINATES ARE CONSTANTLY BRINGING ME WITH THEM FOR LUNCH????

#its okay squad leader #we honestly just thought you'd be too busy to bother with us #so glad you actually do like us #the boys love you too

(19 notes)

🍸 Microfold108 Follow

What even is the point of living? If not just for the sake of a higher being we don't even know? Are they good? Are they bad? Maybe they're the nicest person in the world, maybe they're a serial killer who has murdered countless of their kind. Do they know we work only for them? Do they know how many of us love them?

🍸 Microfold108

Nevermind Dendritic cell came over with a lot of friends and he said they all enjoyed me so maybe there is more to life than that.

#i need to find an actual interest #maybe then I'll stop being so negative about everything

(4 notes)

🟩 HelperT31 Follow

Apparently you can just buy a house??? On Sellular?? I'm going to prank Reg T with this. It's going to be so funny, imagine I pull out a whole house right in front of the office, she'd go insane.

#nobody reblog this I can't let reg t see this #itll ruin the surprise

(1,129 notes)

🗡️ NatKiller095 Follow

Non-immune cells are literally so scary, how do you socialize everyday without getting tired or stressed out??? What do you MEAN you think us murdering cells is scarier?? At least I don't have to go around the ENTIRE body just to hand over a box of gases to someone I barely know!

✨ Eosin-9024 Follow

I agree!! How else would you relieve stress if you can't straight up explode? I would rather die than have to deal with that everyday, I'm so glad parasitic infections are rarer than bacterial and viral infections.

#non immune cells #im sorry for exploding your houses all the time but you guys genuinely terrify me

(34 notes)

🪩 B265 Follow

I love working on the skin! So many beautiful women up here! Way better than working for that insane idiot boss in the alimentary tract

#talking about helper T cell #he sucks so bad #wont let me live my life for just 5 minutes #i do really miss reg t tho #she was way better than helper T

(8 notes)

🪄 Mast92 Follow

The reason why Cellor-sun was so adamant about saving her friends despite risking her life to do so was because if she didn't she risked the Natchlor absorbing her powers and in turn causing the destruction of the whole vessel. Yes she loves her friends but she needed to take the risk, it was a big part of the plot, how do people not see that the first time they watched??

Also I hate how they forcefully gave Cellor-sun a love interest. Soma was an interesting character as Cellor-sun's new companion but they didn't have to force the love interest trope on him. I feel like the trope was so one dimensional, like two different people wrote him. The Cellor-sun I know would never instantly fall in love with someone like that! Their arc was literally 20 minutes long!!! She has high standards and yet just happened to meet someone who has all those exact standards??? Where do you find a cell that happens to be into all your interests, mesh well with your friends, and don't mind that you are a magical girl constantly risking your life for the sake of the vessel?? Soma would've been fine if he was just a friend of Cellor, he could've been her love interest, just stretch it out realistically. He has interesting powers that interact well with the rest of the cast, I really just wish his arc with Cellor would've been written better. Whoever wrote that needs to post a public apology right now.

#cellor-sun against the univessel #cellor-sun #soma-san catu #i could've written it better for real #catu

(424 notes)

[lesson-in-ruthlessness]

cranking this out in 27 minutes but here is a cute lil appreciation post for a buncha my moots!!

@mcclintcock — UGHHHHH my only veep mutual my age i LOVE talking ab veep with you!! my 2025 resolution is to actually watch all of seinfeld instead of random episodes when i feel like it so we can yap about it more + when i inevitably meet my cousin i wont be ranting about hunchback like a deranged film bro

@cheese-in-space — my girlfriend, loml, and pookie #2 (behind my man grady ruewen of course), im so happy we continued our relationship, i adore you and your passion and your intelligence agh youre perfect

@fintan-pyren — the only person here more deranged than me over a kotlc character. youre such an inspiration to me and my whole posting style, and just really sincere at the same time? i genuinely wish only the best for you

@camelspit — you know way too much. and ily for it and your art is great and ur so funny (i swear that propaganda is COOKING)

@floofeeeeee — THE OG ARCANE/KOTLC MOOT AND I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT. i love discussing the fic with you SO MUCH and its a blast to rant to you ily <333

@nowjumpinthewater — JOLIE MUTUAL???? You have made me cry multiple times with your head cannons about her. fuck you. never stop.

@bucket-of-grass — my irl comfort and pookie, My New Year's resolution is to actually hang out with you irl in 2025 😭😭😭

@aurenflare — ugh your art is so cute AND youre so pookie AND enthusiastic i adore you

@milo-igidk — WE NEED TO TALK MORE AB STARKID ASAP

[uwuowotf2waslife]

What does your husbando/waifu/nonbinary barbie-crotched S/O says about you?

TW: slight teasing,but oh well...., also nsfw themes and swearing ( sowwy)

TEAM FARTRESS 2

Scooter/weanie man: complete morosexual or the unhuman need to take care of Boston inhabitants with room temperature EQ ( en englais: you have the mommy/daddy/parent kink and you want to show that boi all the love he deserves)

Soldier: you are a human carpet ( sub) or so Dom my sibling in Christ I am terrified. You think his bravery/randomness is endearing or you got roped in by every tumblr/wattpad headcanon potraying him as the ultimate beefcake ( cant argue with you, mofo built like a brickhouse on steroids without the roids.)

Pybro: A. you are a nonbinary peep and any nb representation makes your ovaries/balls/reproductive parts COMBUst with excitment. B. intense latex/leather kink with slight burn/wax play on main. I am both afraid and faschinated by your ability to flesh out on a person we barely know the most basics of their personaility, Godspeed you allmighty bAstERD <3

eNGIe: cowboy appreciator, daddy seeker and parental figure creamer connesuer, you fell in love with the ( here ) so much you actively search and look out for the gruff, wrench handling and guitar-playing texas man of your dreams. No matter your gender or sexuality engie hits that hotspot only the daddiest of daddies hit !

Heavy: rare breed of bear enjoyer, probs an older sibling that wants to make the older sibling ( tired, unhydrated and slighty (( extremely)) in need of therapy) pair. Probably not a huge shipper since you view HeavyMedic as more of a platonic pairing, or you are of the rarest Medicx Reader x Heavy poly sandwich. Please dont hug him too tight, hell hug tired and make your eyes pop like a cheap pop eyed toy.

Demo: contrary to popular belief, you are not a bbc enjoyer/seeker, Demoman isnt just a sextoy to you. He is just the only level headed person you see in a team of morons ( for u) or manchildren with murder tendencies and well, JUST LOOK AT HIM, HE IS BUILT WITH ABBS LIKE A WASHBOARD AND LOVES HIS MOM, HE IS NOT HUSBAND MATERIAL. HE IS SOULMATE/LOVE TILL DEATH ( WONT DO YOU PART, HE KNOWS MAGIK TO RECITATE YOU) , PLEASE I SALUTE YOU YOU GLORIOUS TAVISH ENJOYER!

Medic: WE GET IT HE IS HANDSOME AND SOUNDS EITHER LIKE A CHICKEN WITH A TOP TIER DANTE DEMON OR HOT GERMAN GILF! Please dont canoodle him so hard, youll throw out his back or break his hip. Also very questionable kinks ( i see you blood kinksters). You unironically are the I cAn MakE HiM So MUch WorSE squad and you scare me.

Sniper: yes he is the ratman ofyour dreams and yes he is also really pretty, but please stop treating him like a man who aint also a hired killer. Yes he wont even think to correct his Macas orders, but he will and can make you swoon so hard you look redder than Pyros suit, mans gots that outdoors, unshowered , rugged swagg and he is rocking it harder than the fricking 80s <3 <3

Spah: yesh you have a french kink, yes you want him to whisper in your ear soft french while he btters your bagguet, probably into dilfs or gilfs in the distance because none is a dilf /suave/sensual enough for you. ( perfume isnt a shower, go to shower now, mon petit coucou

RESIDENT EVIL VILLAGE ( or the bimbofied RE4)

Lady Alcina Dimitrescu: a cis male/ a sapphic soul/trans,enby vagabond who respectfully wants to drown while motorboating he absolute units of bazoongas. Perhaps slight size kink and perhaps a person who doesnt mind a good blood slurped by their F! S/O if their tumm had the ramblies. Please dont go overboard, or youll enter the unholy assemblange of vore/stuffing kink irl

Donna Bienevento: creepypasta kid, you unironically got spooked first time you read Jeff the Killer. Probably into some questionable types of literature, hardcore horror enjoyer who also has a sanrio addiction. You have tried some kinds of handcraftmanship and might even have some hobbies that involve handiwork. I applaud you, but please dont give the basement FEOTus monster your choccy milk, itll have the zoomies and knock of angies card-castle.

Salvatore Moreau: the epitome of I can fix him! peeps, probably slight hurt/comfort enjoyer. You saw how dirty all the other treat him and you crave to make fish man happy. Both feet in monsterfuckening domain, unironically want to do the dirty while he is at monster form. Maybe you saw the Shape of Water and your brain did the thingy, but oh well, please continue on and make the lord of the reservoir the happiest fish in the sea!

Karl Heisenberg : you slimy, daddy kinked bAsterds, cant we have one game with a slight rat man with a good VA without yall flocking to him like lycans to his factory for french toast scraps??? slight bdsm enjoyer, or person who wants metal rat man happy and softened out like a soviet made breadcutter blade after a top tier professional restoration. Either way, please handle with care he may cry if you hug him the good way

The duke: an absolute chad who may or may not want to drown all your sorrows to a large, beautiful, suave man hug ( or man-thing, you never know.) You seriously deserve the world, because you be pumping fics faster than a heated political debate on Reddit. Also probably a slight hand kink, we all show those monsters at the Shadow of Rose DLC.

[vlassk]

Keeper

P4

A/N - heyo this is just a short smut fic with little to no plot...

After learning of Stanleys past with Ford y/n decides she wont be getting close with the twin. But finds it difficult as Ford is just so damn cute

Warning: age gap, angst, 18+ NSFW Swearing. Pervy Ford. Dommy reader hehe.(lmk if i missed any) not proof read as i no no wanna

Stanley and the kids had left for a road trip. Soos following as well. You stayed behind with Ford. I'm trying your best to figure out how to stop the bill. Reading old books and you getting the courage to talk to the ghosts. They never could talk usually.

You sigh, laying in the grass around the house. There was a clear patch in the wood.

Your notebook opened on a random page, the sun hitting you. You hear a small laugh. You quickly lean up, looking around. You glimpse at a yellow figure floating by. Youu switch to a position easier to run. You see the figure appear. Looking straight at you. The one-eyed creature you knew to stay away from.

"Look at this loner. Loner girlll, " the creature laughs about to float away.

"Excuse me?" You look towards Him. Bill slowly turns to you. All this time, you never acknowledged him. Even with Dipper, you knew he wasn't Dipper, but you never called it out. At least not Bill Directly.

"I am no loner"

"You can... you can see me?"

"Uh duh, how do you think im talking to you? Gosh, you really are just as annoying as the others say..." You sigh, sitting back down. The being looked shocked. His eyes streched. He wonders how. He wasn't showing himself to you. He never appeared in your dreams, and you never summoned him.

"You can leave," you sigh, picking up your journal and placing it on yourself as you lay back down. Bill floats closer to you.

"How can you even see me? You're nothing but a lonesome human laying out here."

"I can see you, i can see that guy, oh, and that thing..." You point to the creatures watching you from a distance. The spirits leave you alone most of the time, but the ghosts like to watch. Bill looks around getting an idea,'maybe she can make me her muse... let me into this place. Use the portal'

"I'm Bill Cypher -"

"Yeah, i know.. and i know once i go back into that building, you're all gone.." You sigh, picking up your book and sitting up again.

"I will never see you as anything but a sad, lonely being of power... please leave me"

" You dont know anything. You're useless and nothing. Why did i think you could ever be useful to me? When i rule this world, you will begged for my mercy. "

You watch as Bill floats off. His eye was sharp and angered.

"I'll tell stanford you say hi then," you smirk. The demon flying towards you. Inches away as he tries to grab at your throat. He watches as his hands go through your body. He watches you smirk

"We'll meet again.." Bill floats away. As you lose focus of him, you see Ford walking towards you

"Who were you taking to?"

"What?"

"You were talking to something. I saw your mouth move but not the words. " Ford sits next to you, putting his books down next to yours. You place a hand on his thigh. He tenses up.

"Your ex Bill"

"Excuse me, what?!" Ford jumps standing back from you

"Dont worry, i scared him of -"

"Let me see your eyes..."

"What? Ford cmon"

"Let.me. see. your .eyes."

You groan, scooting towards the man and shoving your face near his. So close, you can feel his slightly heavy breathing. You open your eyes wide. Shaking your head aggressively. Ford grabs your head, almost grabbing your neck to hold you still. Looking deep into your eyes. Your face burns a bright red. You look away with your eyes avoiding his. He notices a little too late at the awkward position you're in again. He lets you go an apology leaving his mouth.

"You better be sorry. Not trusting me after going on about trust the other day. "

"I just didn't expect you to see him,"

"Yeah, well, i can, i haven't seen him since Dipper, though. But i know he's no good."

"I'm sorry y/n for looks down at his lap. One leg was resting up as the other was relaxing.

"Also quit grabbing me the way you do, how would you like if i just did this to you constantly " with the end of your sentence you get up again, grabbing Ford the way he had grabbed you. Your grip tight as you held him. His heart raced. Blood flowing to below his belt and his face. The red that was once on you now on him, he so desperately wanted to pull you in for a kiss, do more than that even. You wanted that to. He quickly pushes you away, turning to the opposite side to hide himself.

" See, you wouldn't like it -"

"Shut up!" He yells, still shielding himself. You say a confused 'what'

"Why, why do you do this to me? It's wrong!"

"Do what? You do that to me all the time!"

"You do more. I can't, you're right we cant this is wrong. you're so young and nieve. God fuck if Stanley knew hed murder me" he turns to look at you his book conveniently placed over him.

"Stop acting like i know nothing, Ford. I'm still old enough. I've still graduated, at the top of my class, ran a business on my own and survived all this weird ass shit okay! God, you're so pathetic. You can't even take what you want after all these years alone. " You get angry, getting up to storm off when Ford grabs you and pulls you down. You begin to fall, and as you're stabilizing yourself, you land onto him. You both sit up. You cradled his body and him beneath you. You feel a slight pressure beneath you,

"You think I'm pathetic?" You look at you, slight sadness across his still red face. He begins to look away. You only get mad. You grab his face again, making Him look at you this time. There was a second of silence before you closed the gap between you both and kissed him. His eyes close and roll back into his head. As your grip tightens, Ford lets out a small groan. You stop, making sure he's okay. As you pull back, his face is in pure bliss. His arms supported himself. You watch, and he recovered. You let go of his throat.

"Fuck... im sorry y/n, fuck I'm so sorry this is wron-" you cut Ford off as you pull him in for another kiss. He groans again almost like he gets lost in you everytime. Your hands roam his body feeling all his muscles. Your hands run through his hair. Pulling slightly, he lets out another groan. You only feel him get harder underneath you. Slowly you move your hips against him, he moans in your mouth and shivers, enough to make him stop and pull away. Your breaths heavy as your feel the heat rise.

You get up quickly, grabbing your things and shoving them in fords arms

"Y/n wait"

"Hurry your ass up, Stanford." You spat a little bit more harsh than you wanted. You help the man up and drag him into the house. "What are you doing?"He tries to ask as you grab the books again and slam them on the couch. You quickly pull the man upstairs to your room. He finally understands, and once the door is shut, he pins you against it and kisses you once more. His hands are still stiff, you grab one hand and place his on your waist. The other right over your chest. "Fuck this is so wrong" ford says between kisses. You quickly shove the man onto your bad, going to straddle him

"But it feels so right, after all this time finally i get to do what i want with you," you whisper in his ear. Ford quickly pushes you. Grabbing the back of your neck to look at your eyes in an angered panic.

"Bill?" At this, you slap Ford, making him let go. His length is getting harder.

"Damn it ford no! Not Bill!" You get up to dig through some drawers. "I'm im sorry. It's just 'aftet all this time'" ford questions watching as you look through your things frantically.

"Yes Stanford fucking finally. After all this long. God, almost since day one, I've been wanting you, damn Ford. " You finally find what you were looking for. As you turn to see Ford, you notice how absolutely red he is. You pause for a moment. "What..." You look at him confused. Going behind him on the bed.

"It's just that...i really never knew. I knew you probably had like a kitty crush but, not like how i wanted you.." Ford doesn't notice what you're doing. You lean over and whisper in his ear. "Oh... and how do you want me?" You laugh and get off the bed walking in front of him. Ford tries to talk. Trying to bring his arms up, he notices he can't. He turns around, seeing his hands in cuffs. He looks back at you to see you smirking.

"No more grabbing my face when you think im possessed, okay..." You smile, leaning closer to Ford. Leaving small kisses on his neck

"This isnt fair!" Ford tries to close his legs for some friction.

"Calm down, I'll let you go after." You push up his sweater, making him lay back onto your bed. Ford is only more turned on his head resting on a pillow so he can look at you. Slowly unbutton his pants. Ford hasnt been active with many people, maybe one person, but it's been so long he doesn't remember. It was prepportal. His ego and confidence carried him when it came to you.

You sink onto your knees in front of Ford. He slightly leans up to watch. You unbuckle his belt and pants, slowly pulling them down. You look at his length, amazed at what he was hiding.

"Dont just stare..." Ford rolls his head back. Face red. You smile and slowly take him in your mouth. Watching as he falls in the bed, trying to break away from the cuffs. You continue, he moans out, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. "Y/n, please... let me loose please" he begs as you keep going. Saying No while, he's still in your mouth, sending chills up his spine. "P-please, fuck I'm going to cum.." you feel him switch as he pull off of him. He groans in frustration as you watch him. Wiping off your lips. His face flustered, sweat making him glisten. His length leaking with pre-cum as he pants trying to catch his breath. You take a sip of water from your night stand. Moving to straddle Ford.

"Do you want me?" You pull him by his collar, making him sit up."Yes," he leans down head on your shoulder. You pull his hair, making him look at you

"Sorry, what did you say?" He looks at you stunned. How this younger woman could make him feel this way, so weak.

"Yes," he says, looking you in the eyes. He feels his hands being freed. Hesitantly, grabbing your hips. You laugh on the spot. Ford chucked as well.

"After all that, you're still so gentle.."

"Well... this is sorta my first time in a while.."he lets his thumb trace triangles around your hips. You look at him in shock. Pausing and slowly getting up

"Whats wrong?.." You sigh, going over to your small table and lighting one of your candles.

"I should have asked. I was so rough with you..." You sigh, sitting in a chair. Your face in your hands. Ford quickly gets up. Covering himself and bending down in front of you.

"Y/n, i didn't tell you because there's nothing to tell. I liked it when you took control. Jeez, I've been taking control sense before i was pushed into the portal. " he brings your head up.

" y/n im fine. Please continue.. and do your worst.." Ford leans in to kiss you. Standing you up. He pulls you closer, grabbing your hand and placing on his length. You feel how hard he is. He smirks. I'm going to kiss your neck to your ear. "See...i liked it," he moans over you as you start to stroke him softly. You push him softly onto the bed. He was watching as he took off his sweater. He helps you take off your clothes as well. He holds you tight, lifting you up onto him. Slowly, you lower yourself. His grip tightens. You moan. Picking up pace. Every so often, you'll grab at Ford throat or hair. His glasses fogged up. He pushes himself into you, going faster. You both finish soon after. Collapsing onto the bed. Ford holds onto you.

"See. That was perfect.." You laugh again, rolling onto your side to feel the cool air.

"Ohhhh, what did i just do?" Ford raises one hand, placing it on his head. You place a hand on his chest. "Stanley is going to kill me," Ford panics, sitting up. I'm going to grab his clothes.

"Ford..ive known stanley for a while. He loves you and would want you to be happy. Just like me. Let's just see how this plays out. Then we can tell him..lets just wait till after we defeat Bill"

Ford lays back down. Handing you your underwear as you get semi dressed.

"So you can see Bill,"

"Sometimes if there's a thin spot in our dimentions. They shift in and out, one place to another." You stretch out.

"What did he say"

"He tried to be friends... we know how that ends..." You sigh, playing with your hair.

"Ya know, when Dipper was possessed, i could see his body float around. Chasing after bill on the stage. Those damn kids are strong...i couldnt tell them the truth id look crazy..."

Ford, for once, just listened to you ramble about all the things you see. All the people who died in normal ways, horrible ways... at some point, you both get up to work only to get distracted as you continue to tell Ford about your life. Laughing at dumb stories, waiting for Stanley and the kids to get home.

[ghostedeabha]

i haven't posted anything in a bit and i'm so sorry, i don't want to reveal too much detail at the moment but i've just been having a wacky time mentally to put things simply.

in return, have some (extremely) random personal COD headcannons :))

warnings: mentions of mental health disorders (including eating disorders), mentions of religious trauma, mentions of child abuse/childhood trauma, idk just some sad stuff but also way more happy stuff than sad stuff i swear

a/n: reminder that i've never played the game, a lot of the information i have on the characters is from fan created content and a little bit of research and some things could be slightly inaccurate canon wise. also these are once again personal headcanons, you don't have to agree with them, just pls don't be mean :)

anyway, i apologize that there's not that many :(( this is just a short lil list so there's def gonna be some characters missing and such. but i will have more headcanon posts out another time <3

cod headcanons (very random edition)

könig is a farm boy <3

impovershed farmer's child to soldier pipeline is real

also idk why but i feel like his real name is like eduard german spelling of edward or something

2 sisters (1 older, 1 younger but born the same year as him) and a little brother

soap is an ipad kid (i will be taking no criticisms)

ghost probably has borderline personality disorder but because it doesn't present in the way it stereotypically does for borderline men so he is undiagnosed

was audhd undiagnosed until he was 25

bro was baffled

the development of his bpd was both through the abuse and neglect he faced growing up and the trauma that one can experience from being autistic growing up but left undiagnosed

soap has severe adhd

PRICE LISTENS TO DISCO AND CLASSIC ROCK 🗣️ guilty pleasure is 50's love songs and smooth jazz

gaz tried to establish team game nights

regretted his decision after one game night

both ghost and könig are gymbros but in the disordered way

orthorexic könig

an-bp ghost

every one of those mfs has ptsd and/or cptsd

valeria is a radfem (trans inclusive)

gaz secretly likes a few kpop songs from various different groups (he really likes g-idle for some reason)

catholic trauma soap📢

was probably forced to undergo an "exorcism" at one point

also had a scene phase

emo könig :(( <3

ghost wouldn't necessarily label himself goth but he does enjoy quiet a lot of goth music and some of the fashion intrigues him

gaz used to be a roadman😭 absolutely hates admitting it though bc he's embarrassed about it

idk i feel like horangi would listen to ayesha erotica unironically

ghost listens to lana

i could also see könig having bpd as well (this is mostly feeding off of the obsessive/possessive/jealous headcanon the fandom seems to share, though i do have some other reasons i could go into another time)

can i get an amen for he/they könig??

soap jokingly said he wanted to use she/her pronouns too and now ghost wont stop actually using them seriously and soap doesn't want to correct him

ghost is fully aware it was a joke and he just wants to see how long it'll take soap to correct him

141 all have matching tattoos (including kate)

ghost also listens to hollywood undead

valeria's guilty pleasure music is taylor swift's earlier albums

ghost smoked weed in high school

dream blunt rotation is the 141, könig, horangi and valeria

könig's social anxiety really manifests itself as arrogance and sometimes he hates that

könig and soap are actual pyromaniacs

one of könig's favourite movies is howl's moving castle

that's all i can think of for now,, hope y'all enjoyed🫶

if you did pls gimme a like and send an ask if you want to request anything <3

[angel---eater]

im fully completely aware of how mean this is but whenever i see this one popular artist i just wanna shove them in a locker bc they keep fucking. equating random fans shipping smth they dont personally like as those fans literally perpetuating and condoning abuse towards SA survivors. and their audience is just. huge. and full of reactionary as fuck young people. and like i get it. this shit is raw. its hard to live with the after effects. and navigating life and online hobbies with triggers is also hard. gestures to my own CPTSD. i didnt buy this dissociative disorder at target. but like cmon man. cmon. you have to take responsibility for yourself. log off, do smth else, and get off the art=morality train. its fucking facist no matter what youre trying to actually say or do with it. and as a survivor myself this is just insulting. like jesus fucking christ dude with this political climate now is not the fucking time to scream and make callout posts about how shipping shit ur personally uncomfortable with or using/exploring darker themes in your art means youre an abuser. so much of fandom sounds like my born-again christian aunt. do you rlly wanna sound like that?? block some fuckin tags and keywords and keep scrolling

like with the damage gaiman has done recently to both the horror and bdsm communities and how ppl just REFUSE to fucking analyze anything they read anymore and the wave of 'concerned' white women abt the (specifically gothic)horror genre existing alltogether and the proposed 'porn' bans (it wont stop at actual porn) and the push for the death sentence as a punishment for ppl accused of pedophilia alongside all the fucking anti-trans shit?? yeah no miss me with that pearl clutching bullshit in fandom right now. like yall know they dont care about actual child predators right. yk thats a dogwhistle for legally culling trans folks whenever they want right. yall know that calling that random -cest shipper a pedo en mass isnt doing anything but encouraging everything i just listed out right. you know the people in power rn love that theres a massive moral panic over art and literature and education right? theres a reason why so many of gen-z voted conservative.

i saw way too many little white assholes who swear theyre progressive cheering after the news broke out about those ~50 BL authors in china were arrested and sent to face years of prison time, just for writing queer erotica. and most of the shitheads cheering were also queer! and BL/m-slash enjoyers! get a fucking grip and log off for a week, a month. do some volunteer work. hang out with your friends. get new friends if they keep talking about how sebac1el shippers deserve to be [insert extremely graphic threat of violence of ur choice here bc its all been said before]. pull your shit together. all of my closest friends ship the kinda stuff and love the kinda fiction that would make most ppl on this site hurl and guess what, none of them would hurt a fly. theyre the chillest, kindest people ive ever met. its why we're friends. yall use your BRAIN