#i wont be able to do any drawing or video editing on it unfortunately. just plain old operations.

[crabs-but-better]

my dad gave me a laptop with an optical drive aaaaaaaa

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[skyscribbles]

Plans for 2018

I say ‘plans’ cause lord knows what’s gonna happen but!! Better to plan and try than give up just because I’m not sure. Anyway it may be long so I’m gonna ramble it below the cut

First major plan:

Work on a set schedule

I feel like I can get a little bit lost because I don’t have STRUCTURE anymore. Working in a classroom or general work environment did me so many wonders, cause my brain could snap into a work-mode. Unfortunately I don’t really have access to that kind of thing anymore, so I have to set it myself. 

The basic plan is:

Monday: Sketches Wednesday: Linework Friday: Color/Finish

This can apply to commissions or personal works! If I have multiple commissions, I can send off multiple sketch stages on Monday, try to get lineart done on Wednesday, finish ‘em by Friday, etc! Tuesdays and Thursdays would be sort of free-drawing days where I can doodle or have fun.

That’d be one drawing a week at the least which is!! Ideal!

Saturdays and Sundays might be study dedicated? So I can kind of keep myself on the ball, while still getting work done. Of course I’ll have to factor in IRL stuff and anything that gets in the way, but if I can get at least something done each of these days, it’ll be good enough. 

100 Theme Challenge

I opened a folder on DeviantART for a 100 theme challenge! I’m gonna try to make complete pieces for it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish all 100, but I’m gonna try! If I can manage one piece every week, I can get it done in less than 2 years... /dies

Which should be a good show of my progress. Of course I’ve taken on many challenges before and have fallen short, but ATTEMPTING challenges is better than not, cause even if I do fall out of it, I still have work done that I wouldnt have done before! So there isn’t much to lose, and some to gain!

Get Some Kind of Project Going

Patreon sadly is probably not going to happen in the near future until i can get some personal stuff settled, but I did consider maybe trying to open a Redbubble store! I have to research proper printing colors/formats and the like so my products wont be cheaply put together, but that’s a possibility!  I may also do something with my Ko-Fi! Probably simple commissions if people donate or something! I’ll worry about that later.

I’d do a comic but honestly I am not any sort of comic artist. I haven’t shown much interest and passion for it, and I know it’s something you absolutely NEEEEEED to be passionate about to even hope to finish. It doesn’t mean I wont ever try a short comic or two that’ll be like, 2-3 pages! But a long running series is not in my future.

Stream....Eventually

This one’s part tech issues and part anxiety issues. 

I kind of hate being WATCHED when I draw cause it makes me stiffen up really bad and then I can’t quite draw as easily, and then THAT makes me worry all my stuff is turning out bad in front of everyone and that I’m a sham of an artist, blablabla etc, and I know it’s something I’ll HAVE to get past eventually. But I’m gonna take baby steps on this one. Maybe I’ll try to upload Youtube videos or something of me drawing once I can learn some basic video editing!

And Finally, Try To Get Over Myself

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS MEAN LMAO but hear me out:

I have, a lot of issues with anxiety still. Even sharing works can make me nervous and tense cause I get hard on myself if I worked SUPER hard on something and just comes out...subpar. I have to work on getting over these fears, and learning to not get so personal with every drawing. It’s mostly on me and a mental thing I have to work out, but I want to become courageous and post more, even if it ends up garbage! At least people can see that I’m not always at the top of my game, and it’s fine to have drawings that just aren’t as good.

No artist is always at 100%. I don’t expect that from others and I shouldn’t expect that from myself. Not to say I wanna be LAZY but, just learn to forgive myself if I screw up a drawing... 8′D;

ANYWAY THATS THE RAMBLE, here’s hoping I can stick to at least most of this!! And see y’all in 2018!!

[bbs-backlog-challenge]

Two Years of BBLC!

Wanted to reflect on the blog a bit, and talk about where it’s going from here. Going to be mostly stream-of-consciousness stuff that doesn’t pertain a whole lot to the actual point of the BBLC itself, so I’ll do your dashboards a favour and put it under the cut.

So then! Let’s talk about success.

In terms of its primary function (that being ‘get BB playing through that got-dang steam library’), it has been an undeniable success. I started at 80 games, have played 120, and now have just 30 left. Questionable mathematics aside, I know for sure a good 80% of those games I played would have forever been pushed to the backburner if the dice weren’t in control.

As an aside- I’m a lot more frugal lately, too, and have bought far fewer bundles just because they seem like a good deal. A change in attitude towards spending is a secondary, unexpected but definitely worthwhile benefit of the blog. I’m now happier to spend $60 on a game I will play than to spend $15 on ten games I probably wont, despite the latter seeming like a great bargain.

When I conceptualised the BBLC, I’d envisioned it as something of a community effort. In its original form it was a forum game, with some moderate success until people started ignoring the core concepts and instead using it as a tool of self-flagellation; complaining and even boasting about the size of their backog and doing nothing to combat it, even though that was the entire point of the thread. (Breathe.) When I revived it I posted it on that same forum, but its traffic had died down massively and my thread saw no traction at all, unfortunately.

I moved it over to a blog format (this one!) and managed to get a couple of friends to jump in on the fun, but it never really took off in the way I would have liked. I think the audience that would appreciate this blog isn’t really on Tumblr (though I do appreciate the 15 followers I’ve amassed in that time)- not to mention Tumblr’s pretty awful when it comes to interactivity with readers and potential players.

I’ve been thinking over that a lot recently, along with thoughts of how I could potentially monetise the idea. I’ve come up with a few ideas, each with pros and cons...

First, I thought a podcast form of the challenge could be pretty neat. The specifics would need to be worked out before going ahead with it, but releasing an episode every month or every two weeks where we talk about the games that have come up in the meantime, our inpressions of that first hour of play, answer and discuss questions from the other ‘casters, and end each section with a Fin Or Bin as is customary. Alternatively, as Pasq suggested, we roll our libraries together, pick a game most of us haven’t played, and each of us spends that hour playing it and we come back to discuss what we thought, sort of like a book club. Perhaps even a combination of the two ideas.

The major con with this idea is that it would require getting at least one other person to commit to doing a regular spot with me, as well as commit to playing however many games our format required. Arranging a time we can talk, setting up the audio, editing and publishing would be a significant time sink even if I elected to do most of that work myself. If the other person/people flaked, that’d grind my progress to a halt. It would be a lot of fun to talk about the lesser-known games, though, and I think it’d be a mostly casual experience. Podcasts are fun!

Another problem, and one common to most of these ideas, is- I’m running out of games! If I could have started doing it 120 games ago there would be a much stronger hook than “Beebs plays 30 games and talks about them”. If I joined up with a couple of other people who each had libraries numbering three digits, it’d quickly become unbalanced.

Streaming was the other idea I thought of, or a youtube series. Go live for an hour or so to play the game as I would have done so regardless, except chat through a microphone while I do it. Them video games streams are popular, so I hear, and if I played one of the bigger-ticket games on the list, it might draw some audience.

Main problem with that angle is that playing a new game would no longer be a leisure activity, and would require set up and the right moodset to be able to put on a good vocal performance. If I was streaming, too, it’d have to be at a regular time, so I couldn’t just play games for a spare hour in the evenings. If I ditch the stream idea and just make it a youtube series, I’d have to think about whether it would just be an audio form of the blog posts (and then, why keep the blog) or if it should just be edited footage like a Lets Play series, which might boil down to 15 minutes of me floundering about with no idea what I’m doing and providing no entertainment.

I do enjoy the idea of a video series, in some form. When I think about the chaos I caused in Project Cars for instance, or that glitch I encountered in Sniper Elite, I wish I had been recording the whole time. I think Beebs-brand fun would make for some entertaining videos.

The problem then again is that there’s only 30-odd games left to go, and I can’t guarantee any of them are going to be entertaining to watch, whereas I can at least write an entertaining post about a dire game.

Either way, it seems like a Discord server is the way to go. I’ve begun setting one up, ready to launch if I ever go ahead with one of these ideas. And, of course, there would be a patreon behind it all.

I worry about my pastime becoming work.

I worry that, as with so many of my projects, I’ll forever say ‘I’ll get around to doing that video/audio/whatever later’, and then procrastinating it until it’s ancient history.

And I worry that people still just aren’t really going to care, which is tolerable at the moment because I’m getting a lot out of it for myself but may become intolerable when I’m putting more hours into it.

Thanks for reading this far, if you did! I’d welcome your thoughts on any of this. Might well be the best thing to do is just to carry on as I have been until I run out of games and call it a done deal, but quite often I’ve enjoyed writing the posts more than playing the games, and I wonder if extending that might be even more rewarding.

[insidiousflame]

My sister is back living at home. And her and dad brought a cold sickness back with them. So now, I’m dealing with that. Ugh. I just took some Nyquil though to hopefully help knock me out tonight. I really didn’t sleep well at all last night. Hopefully I can catch up on sleep and feel better for work tomorrow. I had to leave early on my closing shift the other day cause my stomach was messed up from the mac n cheese microwaves dinner...Yikes. That was awful. Auracle seems to be doing okay. We’ve been working really hard to get content out and record dances. Still need to get the official vocal cover and video editing done...No idea when that will finally happen. We will be doing filming next weekend for Kait’s mouse ear video. Unfortunately, a hurricane is going to hit this weekend...so Evie has to go home cause her dorm is shutting down and wont be able to attend practice. I’ve been stressed still, but, hopefully things can slow down a little. I’m still constantly thinking about Auracle and the idol community and what I really want out of it. Will it go anywhere other than what it is now? Do I even want it to? Will I get tired of it? I kinda feel like I will...but at the same time, i really appreciate the time we get to spend together. It feels great working hard for something. I really...really hope we get into idolfest. I at least want that. At least. I know that I want my own original music. I always wanted that. But, I just can’t seem to get myself in a mode where I can just write a full song. Sometimes it feels like i’ve got something, but i just feel such lack of inspiration. Words just don’t come to me. I always write about the same shit. I’m tired of it. I feel like I should stop giving the past so much energy, but it’s the only real source i can easily draw from. idk. And any time i think i’ve found a producer, it isn’t what I want. There’s another guy i happened to mutually follow on instagram and turns out he composes music. But, it seems to be mostly eletronic stuff. Like everyone else. And I just cant really get behind that. But, maybe i can do something? maybe? I feel like every hope turns into a dead end for me. Im just never satisfied with it. I still don’t really know what i want, do i? I mean, yeah, create my own songs. But...yet that doesnt seem to really make me happy or inspire me either. Sigh. God, help me out here. Help me grab hold of and create what ive yearned to.

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #5 - “You Should Be Fucking Festive!” - Amanda

A tribe swap occurred based on a number between 1-1000 that the players chose when they applied to the game.  Everyone who picked on odd number was put on Togye and everyone who picked an even number was put on Mata. On the new tribes, Steffen found the Legacy Advantage that was hidden on the blog.  The tribes were given their next Immunity challenge which was the Lip Sync music video challenge.  While both tribes got bad reviews from the judges, Mata pulled off the victory with their take on “Best of Both Worlds”, even with Amanda using her challenge advantage for Togye.  With everyone but Ashley getting to visit The Cave, it was completely ransacked.  Amanda found an extra vote and both Keegan and Linus found a Hidden Immunity Idol.  Heading into Tribal Council, Togye was split on the vote with the 4 Fans and 4 Favs going against each other.  10 minutes before Tribal, Amanda decided she would use her extra vote and which broke the tie sending Adrian Home.  Keegan also ended up playing his Hidden Immunity Idol to ensure his safety but it was not needed.

I’d totally film a vid confessional, but my hair is in a towel right now.  So I just got thrown onto a new Mata tribe… in the minority of old Mata members.  Allll the other Official Fives got swapped over to Togye, leaving me with just Linus and Leah.  Good thing I was still trying to make connections with them, but not as crazy as the alliance.  I like both of them a lot and genuinely want to stick with them in a vote on this tribe.  Hope to win immunity, I may need it here.

Tribe swap came. Not the three tribe swap I was anticipating but into two tribes with uneven numbers. Fortunately, four of the Official Five are on the new Togye, with four faves. There’s no majority which is good and bad. Unfortunately, the new Mata has a faves majority and our alliance member Krysten is over there. I’m confused about how to proceed. We very well may be picked off one by one.

So this swap is…. Interesting. I am just glad that I am in the situation of having a completely split tribe rather than being in the minority. I really hope Steffen stays safe. He is like my #1. I also hope that our tribe just wind the immunity challenges up until merge. Idk where everyone’s loyalties lay and Idk if I can even trust some of my old tribe mates. I hope having won last immunity does not make me a target. Brett also won and is on my tribe so maybe it wont make us targets then.

Another blindside went well. Maybe it wasn’t truly a blindside but he did think people were doing Leah. I am shocked that we tribe swapped into just 2 tribes. Especially at final 15. That left tribes 8-7 and in a sense the tribes were split kinda fairly. 4 Faves went to Togye and 4 went to Mata. While 4 Fans went to Togye and 3 went to Mata. That is the sad part. Mata Is Faves majority and Fans not so much. Now I truly think The Original Five alliance is golden and would work very well but Krysten is the only one stuck on Mata. She is going to need to find some type of way to get herself out of this mess. I can’t believe it though that the swap did work well. I want Linus out and I hope 4 faves go for him. Leah has ammunition to flip as well. I gave Leah as much info as she needs and she can easily through both Linus and Krysten under the bus with what the info I gave her. Hopefully that just doesn’t bite me in the butt come due time. My alliance as of now is The Original 4 Mata’s and I think all will stay true. I think we all are aiming to getting Ashley on our side. Ashley seems like a doll and I would love to work with her and if we are able to convince any favorite to flip to our side its her. Amanda is another try I can go for while Sam and Tommy I think would be instant targets of ours. I will push Sam to go first just as Tommy may be someone I could use in the future. If we go to tribal I thin my alliance is willing to go to rocks. I am for sure. But right now I need to one keep myself in good graces with the favorites and not only that but my tribe. If the 4 faves vote me on the revote I have to trust my alliance wont flip to me. Also bonding with the faves would keep the vote off me. Now I don’t see the problem of them targeting me because if my alliance stays true i’ll be immuned and then the rest draws. The only person I would consider flipping on from my tribe is Brett but I’m handing away a numbers advantage just yet.

That moment you want to try and lie to one of the faves in order to vote with you. I mean, I hope I have placed my eggs in the correct basket, otherwise I’m fucked. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BymxmTDsefA

I don’t know if i said this already but I FUCKIN MISS STEFFEN! can we pls merge thx

So for this upcoming immunity challenge we have to lip sync to a song and our tribe iconically choose a song I don’t think anyone would have assumed. We choose Stick to the status quo by High School musical. I think the song is very good, upbeat, energetic and just fun. I know I will do an amazing job as I have a vision in my head of how I want this video to be just dont know how to edit. Yet doesn’t matter everyone else needs to give it there all.

Yooooo, I’m trapped in a co workers car an hour away from civilization and I have to pee really freaking bad, so now seems like a good time to make a confessional XD. So a tribe swap!! Woo! The new tribe has only like 3 fans, and like, I wasn’t planning to stick to the fans anyways, but with a fan minority there is no reason for the favs to try and pull me into their side so I will have to play my cards right. As soo as the swap hit Krysten and Leah all of a sudden are adding me to an alliance chat and acting like the 3 of us have to stick together… Where the hell was that eagerness to get me in while we were on our starting tribe. They’re faaaaaaaake as fuck I tellz ya. With fans like these who needs enemies. Assessment of people. Ting Ting: Trying to talk to ting ting is painful. Like, I’ve heard a bunch of people just love her, but she is so freaking unresponsive… Christian: I absolutely love Christian. If there is one person who I want to work with really badly it’s her. She seems very genuine. Krysten: I don’t mind krysten other than the sudden caring about having me as a vote now that she could be in danger. I got the feeling she was Brett’s number 2 on the starting tribe so she could be dangerous at a merge. Leah: who? We were on a starting tribe but I still feel like I know more about the history of Lithuania than I do about her. (Hint, I know virtually nothing about Lithuanian history) Steffen: I like Steffen obviously, I think everyone does. At first I thought he was someone I really wanted to work with, but after talking to others I’m realizing everyone thinks that, which means he has enough options that he may not pick me. hes the lease of this new tribe for sure. Jay: Jay and I can’t seem to hold a conversation to save our lives. She seems cool enough and we’ve both even made jokes about it, but like, I just wish we were both on at the same time more since my number one goal right now is to impress the favourites. Linus: What an icon, clearly the biggest threat to win :P . Jk, I’m a mess this game haha.

If we lose this immunity challenge i’m gonna die. I froze my ass off and murdered my phone for this shit!!!! Also OF FUCKING COURSE we get given a music video challenge right after we have a swap and Steffens not on my tribe anymore. He literally always wins music videos so of course i wanna be a bitch and kick his ass at his favorite thing SO I DECIDED TO USE MY ADVANTAGE. I’m such a good friend. lmfaoooo anyways I really hope we win this challenge and if we do I really hope Leah and Steffen make it through tribal alright. I really wanna get to merge so so bad so we need to win this shit.

why the FUCK did they not include my wig snatching scene?! anyway i knew that was a losing video but like… did adrian throw it? like i can probably get my dog to edit better but hey that’s all fine. we’re just split right down the middle with tribal lines right now and i don’t really know if i’d wanna defect yet or not. who knows.

I want Tommy to like be an evil genius with me but he doesn’t want to! like someone said that they heard his name but he “promised to keep them anonymous” LIKE THAT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR WORD ON THAT’S CALLED #DIRT and we can use that to spread paranoia between the fans!!!! god. I guess it’s just not time to be evil yet but I can feel it almost surfacing.

although i am a little happy that the game is getting more #crackedt like we need more paranoia

Wow what an eventful day. We lost the challenge, which is whatever. The vote is likely going to rocks and nothing has really changed on that front. Tommy is acting incredibly weird about this whole thing though and I’m not really sure how to respond to that. On a major plus side, I found a hidden immunity idol in the cave!! It didn’t come at an opportune moment, I could be knocked out via rocks or by someone flipping in the next tribal. It’s tempting to play the idol to make sure I’m safe, no matter what. On the other hand, if I play the idol and didn’t need to, it’s kind of a waste. I’m so conflicted.

So much can change when you go for a 7-mile run. A 60-minute workout and a shower later, and it’s time for a tribal swap from 15 players into two tribes. But first, I think it’s funny that the Favorites voted off GASTON and RICHIE as their two first boots. If memory serves, I cited the two of them as my favorite Favorites from the beginning! Apparently they were so charming, they were tossed out as threats immediately! I have to hand it to the Favorites–they’re not too dumb for a collection of students. In the swap, I finally shake LEAH loose, but I also lose dear friend and partner KRYSTEN in the process and friend/pawn LINUS as well. Fortunately, I get to keep my closest ally KEEGAN, loyal soldier ADRIAN, and loose cannon NEHE. From the favorites, we gain Disney freak AMANDA, scavenger champion ASHLEY, and two of their men–SAM and TOMMY. With 4 Favorites and 3 Fans on New Mata, I would be inclined to throw the challenges to keep KRYSTEN and LINUS safe. However, it’s not so easy. New Togye has 4 from each tribe, so there’s no guarantee Old Mata will be the victorious side if we do indeed throw. Say we go 4 vs. 4, tie, and go to rocks. That might not necessarily go in our favor. With that said, I’d much rather go to rocks and gamble for the chance of putting the Fans in the majority instead of being expendable like Fans are in most Fans vs. Favorites seasons. We get the challenge and it’s my personal nightmare–a lip sync off. And what’s more, the majority of my tribe has AWFUL taste in music. At one point, NEHE and allegedly straight TOMMY were hell bent on doing High School Musical’s “Stick to the Status Quo.” IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT A VIABLE CHOICE IN 2016?! I think I had a perfectly sellable idea of doing the Cups song from Pitch Perfect so one person could lip sync the whole thing while everyone else did the cup motion–it would look really cool on camera! But alas, we have an irritant in the form of TOMMY. He is a grown adult in the United States of America with no access to cups. I asked him straight up: “What street corner is the cardboard box in which you live?” This guy is obnoxious. He has terrible taste and is just a turd of a person to talk to 80% of the time. Oh not to mention that he kept saying he should sit out for some moronic reason and then kept trying to lead the tribe. “I think I should sit out. But first, let me dictate what we do for this challenge. But I shouldn’t be involved. No you shouldn’t do this song. You should do one I choose. Well it seems like everyone wants to participate, so I’ll sit out.” Just STOP, dude. You’re embarrassing all of us, yourself especially. NEHE is not helping either. He is so far up TOMMY’s ass and I have no idea why. Part of me wants to possibly acknowledge that NEHE is being smart in befriending TOMMY so that he’s not at the top of the Favorites’ hit list. Part of me thinks he just relates to TOMMY’s idiotic and childish behavior. Since the challenge began, NEHE and TOMMY have been annoying just about everyone while the rest of us have tried to be helpful. They’re both being massive morons and I don’t appreciate it at all. The challenge ruling came down and we didn’t even have to throw it. Our video was so terrible (I truly gave it my best) that the new Mata destroyed us even with the help of a 10-point advantage from AMANDA. I really want to give a reassuring look to KRYSTEN and LINUS. I’m very proud of both of them. But now it’s time to sack up and prepare for war. NEHE is already spinning out. ADRIAN told him he’s their target which I don’t think is even a little bit true, but of course NEHE is eating it up. When you’re 15 and home schooled, your world is VERY small. This is all he thinks about, surely. We discussed as a team and the plan is to attempt to divide the favorites, using ASHLEY to vote against her former tribemates while we take the opportunity to eliminate someone else: 4-3-1. I doubt it will work. I think our best case scenario is to go to rocks and hopefully be on the winning side. I think the worst case scenario is getting idol-ed out of the game because Tommy allegedly has an idol. I’d rather not. I’d rather pick the wrong rock. Hopefully I can trust my side and we pick the right person to vote for. Otherwise we are looking at a loss and to begin being steamrolled by the Favorites. And I refuse to just let that happen. I know what I signed up for. I’m going to do everything in my power to defy that. I’ve talked to AMANDA about the vote and I’ve leveled with her 100%.  She understands the dynamic the most because her last season was Fans vs. Favorites and she was in my shoes! I told her that if she’s working with her former tribemates that I wouldn’t try to dissuade her, but my door is always open if she wants to reject them. I was very open and respectful with her and I’m trying to make this as classy as possible when it comes to her because I feel like she might gravitate toward that attitude. I have definitely come around on her. I said some things about her bio video that I completely take back. She’s a great person with a huge heart. We’ll see how this whole thing shakes out. I don’t trust NEHE. I feel like the Favorites have the upper hand. I really just hope that ADRIAN, KEEGAN, and I are still standing when the dust settles on this vote. That’s all I want.

anyway I MISS STEFFEN AND JAY AND ALL I HAVE OVER HERE IS A FLASHLIGHT TO KEEP ME COMPANY I only plan on using the flashlight PLATONICALLY, THANK YOU.

So, after careful consideration of everything, IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Unless by some miracle we can convince Amanda or Ashley to flip to the fans, it’s to the rocks we go. I have an idol, I can play it and guarantee I’m staying but that really doesn’t help me if one of the fans goes home anyways. And then we have to consider one of the faves having an idol. This is all one big messy situation that I don’t want to be part of. 

That challenge was fun!  Just filmed a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon.  So glad we don’t have to go to tribal.  Just have to keep building my connections in case we do have to go soon.

We lost the immunity challenge. My alliance kinda wanted this to happen so we can go to rocks and get the numbers advantage as also in hopes of flipping into voting with us. After we lost though Brett came up with the plan to get the flipper to vote the wrong way or flush an idol. The person I wanted out was Sam as I had no connection him but news came back to me that it’s Tommy who is targeting for the vote to be me. That kinda surprises me. I had good talks with tommy I truly hope its a bluff. I have to rely on bonds with Ashley and Amanda in hopes that they don’t try and vote me. At this point in time I am a paranoid mess. My alliance is messy and isn’t thinking straight of who we target. Keegan scares me of maybe flipping. I don’t like Brett at this moment because of his personality but he’s the only one i’m 100% will go to rocks. I just have to keep drilling in my head if I go only 6 fans remain and 8 Favorites. With them in minority too. This is the chance to not be in minority. I am not going this round I will not have it. I haven’t gotten to show my full potential yet and I will not let this messed up scum of a person named Tommy fuck this up for me. I will not go home this tribal council that’s for sure. If they do vote me I need my boys to not flip. I truly do. If we go to rocks I am safe. The also best thing about it is if we tie we can easily use that to get Ashley and Amanda. Tell them that our side isn’t flipping so unless they want to go to rocks they need to save me and vote Sam. This can possibly be the first big vote this season. The past votes I was in was blindsides in themselves but it was more so a group leading the tribe. Now the game has officially begun. I won’t be the one to be taken out though. I won’t stand for that. This is my first Tumblr Survivor game. I done nothing like this I will not let it be taken away from me. Sam played before and he made it far before. It’s time for Nehe to shine.

who the fuck tries to keep their word on survivor better yet who the fuck tries to keep their word on ONLINE SURVIVOR also trevor what does my flashlight do i’m getting really bored of it

When you try to spice up your game by playing a little villain here and there and you get away with it. People are so fucking gullible, it makes me laugh.

OKAY HERE COMES MY RANT So everyone finally agrees on All I Want for Christmas is You after being pains in the ass and then Adrians like “well the mariah carey one is copyrighted on youtube” or something which is understandable so hes gonna use the Fifth Harmony one. Okay cool whatever. Well maybe im a dumbass for assuming but chances are if you agree to doing a holiday song, YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING FESTIVE. LIKE DRAW A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE DO SOMETHING LIKE COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE. I FROZE MY ASS OFF TO BE BY BALLS THAT LOOKED LIKE ORNAMENTS. MY PHONE LITERALLY SHUT OFF BECAUSE IT WAS SO COLD. WHICH ALSO HERE’S A BIG FUCK YOU TO ADRIAN, IM THE ONLY FESTIVE ONE AND IM USED THE LEAST IN THE VIDEO? HOW THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE????? LITERALLY the entire tribe was saying how great my video was and then its used literally once AND ITS THE PART WHERE I MESS UP AND SPECIFICALLY TOLD ADRIAN NOT TO USE THAT PART. Like was Adrian TRYING to make us lose? wtf man. My one shot video of me alone without any editing probably would have gotten a better score than the shit this tribe put together. I even used my advantage and we still fucking lost. Thats how much they suck. Anyways I’m gonna put my video alone linked here because that way people know how much my tribe flopped :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovZLwir-QLw OH also here’s some bloopers, my friend recording it fell lmfao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhflLf8AjLE Anyways now that my rant about the challenge is done, time to rant about tribal. So the most likely scenario is that the vote will be 4-4 because we have four fans and four faves. So we’ve been trying to see if any of the fans will crack. Brett doesnt seem to wanna budge hes just trying to get us to flip to them. Nehe didnt answer my message and i havent gotten to talk to Adrian but I was talking to Keegan and he seems to be crackinng a bit. He mentioned something about wishing there was an easier option than rocks and i was like well there is…. vote with us lmfao well i said it better than that but im summing it up here. He was saying that hes thinking about flipping but hes scared and that he’s worried if he votes with us that we’ll just vote him out next week so i gave him my word that i wouldnt vote him out next week and Ashley was gonna reassure him. I used the fact that the last time i played i was a fan and that i actually understand how scary it is as opposed to tommy/ashley/sam and i think that was a bit of comfort to him. I really hope it works and keegan flips and votes with us. I dont wanna go to fucking rocks. I also hope no one from our side chickens out and votes me out or something. If i went home when i was the only one who gave a fuck about this challenge im gonna be so pissed. Also i miss Gaston and i hate so much that he left last week. And i need merge to happen right now because i hate being on calls with Leah and Steffen and not being able to talk about shit I WANNA TELL THEM SO MUCH AND I CANT ITS KILLING ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY2K0tM6IUE

yeah adrian is kinda dumb for trying to tell me he hasn’t heard anything about the vote yet RIGHT AS WE’RE ALL TALKING ABOUT HOW THE VOTE MIGHT GO TO ROCKS IN THE FAVES CHAT honestly just like other people have said things that make me believe you are lying. not only that but he TOLD TOMMY “hey it’s either you or nehe going” BEFORE HE APPROACHED ME like actually please try to do a good job at lying also tommy’s lowkey a puss but I need him for my game until merge

I have like no clue on what the outcome of tonight will bring. I did my best to negotiate myself out of the mess i was in last night. I still could very well be the vote. My alliance decided that the smart choice tonight was to vote Ashley. In hopes if we draw rocks we get her safety and get tommy or sam out. I really hope this doesn’t bite us in the butt. More so me.

So losing the challenge really sucks… But I sat out so hopefully no one sees it as my fault that we lost or anything. Honestly going to tribal is really scary. We are even. And if someone does not flip we will go to rocks and that will not be good for any of us. I am considering flipping and voting alongside Keegan, who I am starting to like a bit. Leegan seems to be willing to flip of necessary. So I am hoping to be able to work that out maybe. An alliance chat of just the faves has been made and even though I like them all, I can’t jist stick to tribal lines like this.

I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t want to get 15th though, so I’m fighting as hard as I can to stay, there’s just not much I can do with the tribal lines the way they are. This might be my last confessional, I really don’t want my game to end. So this is pretty saddening but I played as well as I could with the dynamic given to me. I really wish the tribal lines weren’t so strong this season and people were more willing to the idea of playing the game of survivor instead of FvF. I’m praying it’s not me tonight, or another one of the favorites.

Just remembered I haven’t submitted a confession this round, so I figured I’d give my loyal fanbase a little update. The swap seems to be going pretty well so far since we won immunity. This gives me some extra time to bond with the new members, which isn’t a huge priority since the former faves have a majority on our tribe. Regardless, it’s always good to meet everyone and know who’s trustworthy.