#i wont apologize for this though im just trying to get to spring break without dying

[red-elric]

apologies to my non furubacord followers and mutuals! yall can skip on by this, i dont wanna bother u w drama but id like to support my good friend here :)

anyway. HEY FURUBACORD! im here too :)

i honestly never planned on making any kind of statement on why i left the server. it was my own business, and im not really one to cause drama. i would hope you all know this about me, though the way jacqui and i have been constantly misconstrued over the last few YEARS really makes me wonder.

i spent the last year and a half before i left the server this spring feeling a steady decline in MY connections, specifically, to people i had thought were my friends. i cant really speak to why some of yall started treating me that way--and it really was just a few people, not the server as a whole--but i did notice, and it pretty steadily gave me more and more anxiety. its not fun when every time you try to tell a story about your life to your friends, youre consistently ignored, but the most inane bullshit from another person in the same group, sometimes in a message IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING MINE, gets ten different people excited and gushing without breaking a sweat. but i digress. i can handle not being wanted around anymore; at that time, my irl life had started the upswing its in today, so i just didnt care that much. i took a soft break from the server to see how it felt.

and it felt great! i was able to see my life without the server as something i could handle, and even enjoy, and my anxiety went WAY down. still, though, there were several people i considered close friends of mine, and i missed them, so i tried to come back (with the personal stipulation that i would mainly interact with my Actual Friends, and not worry so much about my popularity in the Server As A Whole). this was in january...... jacqui discussed the specific incident that occurred w them already, so i wont touch on that more. however, blue is and was easily my best friend in the server, and they approached me about the incident extremely upset. between concern for my friend and my feelings as a mod of the server, i decided to intervene.

one of the people with a large part in that incident was someone i considered another of my closest friends in the server, until i had my conversation w them about this incident. i expressed concern about keeping the peace and making sure we are all still friends, and DARED SUGGEST that maybe they were the one in the wrong. for that, they firmly told me i was in the wrong for thinking so and did not even entertain my opinion as valid. i moved on with the knowledge that, despite my previous feelings that we were friends, they did not consider my opinion as one worth listening to if it didnt align with theirs. it was hard to hear, but im glad i figured it out; it made it easier to leave in the spring.

i spent the next several months noticing--alongside jacqui--a continued decline in how we were treated in the server. our relationships w that former friend never fully recovered. and in the spring, that former friend was discussing an interpersonal problem from their real life, and made a comment about it that made me sick to my stomach. the rest of the server commiserated with them. i expressed my own opinion on what the right thing to do would be, in the nicest way i could manage, and the former friend responded with blatant vitriol. i left the server the next day.

still, there were several people there who i considered friends. there are a few of you--ina, eri, scarf, tess, anya, tea--who i still have no issue with, and would love to continue being friends with. the problems lie with other members of the server. because, you see, the genocide in gaza started in earnest, and several of you used that as an excuse to be incredibly antisemetic, both to jacqui and in general. when jacqui left, you immediately started calling them a zionist. but if you think thats why your friendship with them fell apart, youre kidding yourself; the above all shows the issues were there a long time ago. and you know, a YEAR or two ago, jacqui was the only one of you i saw making any posts about palestine, and they were all in support of palestinians and decolonization. the rest of you didnt care then, and you only care now because its popular to get angry about it. and youre giving in to reactionary bullshit by blaming blue, the jewish scapegoat you didnt like anyway.

so you know what? fuck you. thanks for the memories, but im done caring.

Hey Furubacord, I don't know how many of you still follow me or don't have me blocked, but I wanted to talk about what's happening from my POV.

In January, I made a comment about how hard it is living with my parents. Everyone dogpiled on me, said it was my fault bc I'm not doing enough to move out, I should leave the state, I should get another job, and then getting mad when I said I couldn't do those things since I had just gotten out of a depressive episode. They insinuated they'd been talking about how annoying it is when I talked about that for awhile (that and my love life) and I said something rude to them. So I immediately messaged every single person and apologized. I was told it was fine. I was told this would not ruin our friendship. This was a lie. For the next eleven months I was COMPLETELY IGNORED by one person, and barely spoken to at all by a few others. I noticed this but stayed in the discord bc I really like a lot of you and wanted to stay friends with the ones who didn't inexplicably hate me. In September I stopped interacting as much with the Discord, and finally by November I decided to leave. I made a post saying I was leaving, and that I'd like to stay friends with people, and then things just. Got so bad. People IMMEDIATELY started shit talking me in the group, calling me a "colonizer apologist" for reasons I don't get but am assuming it's because I dared to say Israelis shouldn't be murdered either. I woke up the next day to almost every single person in the Discord unfollowing me on all social media, and someone who I had spoken to the night before, who told me they wanted to stay friends, had blocked me. Nobody spoke to me about this. Nobody told me what was going on. I can only assume a bunch of yall have been talking in DMs about what a bad person I am for awhile, and you convinced each other to drop me. Do you know how much it hurts to lose like ten people at once? People who you thought you were close to? For reasons they never explained? Do you know what a blow to self esteem it is to realize that your friends have been talking shit about you for possibly months, and were just waiting for you to leave so they could officially drop you? Idk if you dropped me bc of what happened in January or bc you assume I'm anti Palestinian (which I never once said???? And was pretty clear about???????) but either way it was hurtful and honestly immature, especially in the case of the people who promised we would stay friends. Idk if this will get back to yall and even if it does you'll probably talk amongst yourselves about how right you were to leave me, what a pain I am, and how much better you are than me bc your activism looks a little bit different from mine. Do you feel better now? Now that I'm no longer annoying you with my personality or pissing you off for caring about dead Jews? Thanks for four entire years of what turned out to be a complete lie. The only reason I don't think I wasted my time there is because I still have a few friends in the server who I love dearly and who didn't randomly drop me (thanks you guys). I figured out I was nonbinary and a lesbian in this server. I met a few of you in person. I gave a lot of you advice. I thought of some of you as my younger siblings. But message received. I'm out of your lives now. Thanks for doing it in the worst way possible. Hope you feel great about yourselves. Bye ig.

[theraddestcowboy]

I spent today studying for a test and fried my brain, so today you get day two of MiqoMarch, which I will tag so my followers that came here for art can filter it

today’s thing was “class/job” so here’s my picture “I'm a bard so I'm very important and pretty and dont look at the sheep that's trying to kick my ass while I take this pic”

Apparently yesterday’s was “Selfie” which I didn’t know but if you apply that idea to that picture it makes it a lot funnier

[gureishi]

dude okay so this is kinda specific and also probably not very original or anything ekdbsisj

but-

how do you think saeyoung would react/feel if (during the apartment days), his MC started crying (or almost) after that one (or maybe two? cant remember, and im only halfway through day 7 on the current playthroygh) time where he just... got really mad n yelled... hhh his expression was scary,,

getting yelled out is already a lil agitating for me... and I know i would be automatically already a lil sensitive cos i would be nervous from the last few days (rsd would nerf me) -- meaning i would be a lil more emotional/easily affected than usual ;;;

on top of that ive never had a guy yell at me djvdjdj so it would be a lil scary, i wont lie.

wanna clarify: the crying wouldn't be on purpose lol, i would definitely try n hide it. easier said then done though... OTL

jsvfsh this is so long n specific n kinda personal to me?? im sure im not alone regarding the general idea though. anyways jdbdjs sorry lolol-

and im jus asking for your thoughts or maybe HCs? whichever you feel works best!

also sorry if we've talked about this before i have a bad memory-

[417]

btw ur amazing love u

Love you too dear Four! And oh boy do I relate to this. I do not handle being yelled at well and would, without a doubt, cry multiple times in this scenario (/ω＼)

Saeyoung reacting to his MC crying in the apartment 

He’s never felt like this before. He sort of thought he’d been through it all: wrung every last bit of love and fear and desperation out of himself till there was nothing left but the things that make him useful: his clever hands and his brilliant (weary) mind.

When you speak to him so tenderly—hovering just at the edge of his space, eyes full of something he can’t (won’t) identify—he feels like his heart is too big for his body, and he can’t think straight, or see straight, or make his miserable mind form the words he needs to say to you.

He’s angry because he can’t understand why you’re gazing at him that way, like you’d do anything to ease the pounding in his skull; he’s angry because none of his words are getting through to you, and he doesn’t know how to make you understand that he’s not the person he made you believe he was. And he is angry because he knows, without a doubt, that he’s in far too deep already, and that if anything were to happen to you now, his desperate heart would break for good.

He knows how to lie (it is, in his opinion, the only real skill he has)—so he does. He tells you he wishes you’d leave him alone—tells you to stay away—tells you he feels nothing for you at all. He raises his voice (but oh, as the stinging words tear from his throat his heart wants to crawl out of his skin and throw itself into your arms).

You say nothing. Good, he thinks; and he forces his attention back to his screen (eyes blurry, hands shaking). He hears the sound of your footsteps as you retreat to the farthest corner of the apartment, and something inside him seems to go with you—since the very first time he heard your voice, he thinks, a part of him is always with you. With every day that goes by, that part gets bigger: soon, there will be nothing left of him at all.

With his eyes trained on the screen (and most of his attention on you), he hears the tiny sounds you’re making: shifting, he thinks at first, getting comfortable. Maybe even going to sleep.

But no: you are so quiet only somebody with senses that have been heightened from years of training (years of hiding, and fleeing, and fighting for his life) would hear. But there’s a whimper—a vague, almost indistinct sniffling.

Oh no. Oh god.

Oh god oh god oh god.

Years of agency training have taught him to turn his back on people who are begging, or whining, or crying—but he’s never been any good at it.

And this is you: and his scrambled mind races, his heart drumming so loud against his ribs he is sure you can hear it. He would, he thinks wildly, do absolutely anything in the world to never hear you make such a miserable sound again.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he stands. The room spins; he’s weak, and hungry, and angry, and scared; his stomach is in knots and the darkened room seems to tilt sideways around him. 

You don’t seem to have noticed that he’s moved; you’re hiding your face in your shirt, back turned to him—and you are still (so very still). He doesn’t remember how to breathe.

“Uh...” he says, and the sound echoes horribly in the dull, sparsely furnished room. You say nothing. He clears his throat, takes an unsteady step toward you. He’s not thinking rationally anymore—not thinking about scaring you off, or keeping you safe. All he wants is to see that look in your eyes again: that soft one, the one that makes his hands and feet feel too big and his skin seem to burn and his breath catch in his throat.

“Are, uh...are you okay?” he rasps. You’re still ignoring him, which is a first; your face is turned away, so he goes to your side, kneeling on the floor beside you. You sniffle. He feels like his heart is going to burst.

“Yeah,” you say—and unlike him, you are not such a good liar. Without meaning to, he reaches for you: finds his fingers (of their own accord) doing what they’ve been itching to do since the moment he first laid eyes on you. He touches your hair—brushing it off your face, tucking it behind you ear.

Your eyes, he thinks (fiercely, irrationally): he needs to see your eyes.

“Don’t believe you,” he says. With a sigh of exasperation, you turn to him: oh, and your eyes are blazing, red-rimmed. And he is the one who has done this to you—he is the monster who has made you suffer.

His mind seems to have driven itself into the ground. Suddenly, he can’t remember how to do anything at all.

But his body moves of its own accord, because his heart has always been eons ahead of his (brilliant and foolish) mind.

“Hey,” he finds himself murmuring, brushing your cheek with his rough fingertips (and he knows he shouldn’t, but now that he’s here, he is finding it almost impossible to resist). “I know,” he says, without even quite understanding what he means. “I know.”

You watch him; and there it is again—just for a moment, that softness deep in your eyes that sets him on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words springing to his lips before his brain can get in his way. “I’m so, so...I didn’t mean to...I never...”

You shake your head, and your hair falls into your eyes again. He brushes it back, finding that there is nothing—nothing—in the world quite as wonderful as the feeling of your warm skin under his fingers.

“I get it,” you tell him. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I can’t...” He makes himself take a deep breath, and regrets it instantly as his senses are flooded by the warm, enticing scent of you. He feels you all around him now. “I didn’t mean it,” he says quietly. “Please. I can’t stand to see you making that face.”

You force a watery laugh, and the effort you are making for him is almost too much. His mind races. For a moment, he imagines how it would feel to wrap your small body in his arms—to press his lips to your temple and feel your heart beating against his skin.

“How’s this?” you say. You offer him a passable impression of a smile, and he wants to throw himself at your feet.

“Terrible,” he says. You laugh, and it sounds a tiny bit more believable this time. You are looking at him, and there it is again: that softening in your eyes that makes him think (just for a moment) that there could be a happy ending for him after all.

“I...” he starts. What? He can’t tell you how he feels—what he wants—what he is afraid of. Not here. Not now. Not yet. “Please,” he finds himself whispering. “Can you...just give me a little more time?”

You nod, and there is a strength in you that nearly knocks him off his feet.

“Yeah,” you say: and this time you sound like you mean it.

Against his will, he pushes himself up—makes his way back to his miserable little corner of the room. But he pauses—turns—and you are still waiting, still watching him. Of course you are.

“I’m gonna make it right,” he says, not quite meeting your eyes. Never, he thinks: he will never ever make you cry again.

“I believe you,” you say.

It is the first time anyone has ever told him this.

His heart shivers.

“I won’t let you down,” he says—promises. He means it with all his heart.

[that-one-violist]

this is a lot dont read it idk why i decided venting here would be smart i just cant get out of my own headpsace and i formally apologize

Im sorry idk this is a lot of bullshit that doesnt even mame sense i just needed to go off fuck me oof

i miss her more than i could ever put into words. the world will probably always feel a little more empty without her and that is my new reality.

youre born. you live. you experience. you lose. you gain. you love. you cry. you laugh. you exist. you die.

it all sounds so clean cut and clear. but she deserved more of the inbetween points. it doesnt feel so clear anymore. she gave birth to me yet she wont be there if i have my own kid. she raised me yet she wont be there to guide me. she took care of me but i couldnt ever take enough care of her. i didnt have the resources to save her. i didnt have the intelligence or maturity to take more time with her. i didnt push for her to hug me when i left after spring break. i asked. she said she didnt feel well. and i accepted that. little would i know that would be the last oppurtunity for me to embrace her and tell her how much she meant to me and how much she did good for me and how much i wouldnt be where i am today without her, to her face.

i didnt make that call. i fully intended to after my choral performance clinic. but when i grabbed my phone i would only be left with the news that she would never be able to answer my phone calls ever again. i never made that call. i procrastinated. i wanted to ask her about some medic insurance policy stuff and tell her about how im doing in school. at the time i was doing okay academically. i wanted to tell her i would try to get a recording of me playing at the recital, even if only audio, so that she could hear me in solo performance.

i never got that chance. i could blame myself, but i am just human. i fucked up because thats what we do best as people. fuck up and make the best out of it right? i dont remember what her last spoken words to me were. i didnt think id have to remember it.

i miss her. i dont know why im going off on some blog. i just havent felt like this before. the grief is a monster all on its own, but the added stress of college viola music ed classes debt moving out of the dorm finals week recitals masterclasses juries lessons credit card companies mortgages my hands and arms have increasingly become more uncomfortable but i cant believe my own self that i am experiencing any real pain my dads retirement my dad my dad's emotional state i have to take care of him there is no one left to yell at me in a loving way for not taking care of myself and me following along because itd break her heart if she knew i was struggling there is no one that could play that role yet i need it so much apparently im not mature enough to manage myself? i cannot just manage the grief but everything else has piled on im probably going to end up ill at this rate but i cant because i have to finish the semester and pass my classes with at least Bs and do well and be present and seem fine at the very least otherwise my dad would worry and i cant afford to go to the doctor for shit like this

i just want so badly to just stop caring and just let life fuck me up because i dont have it in me to keep going as hard as i am at the moment but its either all or nothing and i cant give up because im not that way and so i just have to make it work and seem fine even though im a fucking dumbass and keep venting 1 sentence randomly to people that dont really need this in their life and im just complaining about stuff i could easily fix i just dont have it in me to at this point

its self destructive and ive had issues with this before but much more direct than this time so maybe its fine and this is all part of the "losing your mom at 19 years young" package and i just need to get used to it and over it but

fuck idk

fuck i dont know why i went off holy shit

ill be okay, ill take care of myself and ill make it work and ill end up happy and well and normal again and ill have the energy to be better academically emotionally socially and physically its just gonna take more time than id prefer

[kappasigmalife]

Desolate Caladium: Chp 4 Is this love or war?

Desolate Caladium: Chp 5

Is this love or war?

Callum had been very distant since he kissed me, all he does is keep to himself while were living out in the cabin, hes rebuilt the wall and stayed out for odd hours of the day only coming home at night. When he kissed me, he said he may love me, im so confused, its like theres multiple sides to him at every turn, the stoic, the loving, and the violent. I wish I could help him through this but I have no idea what goes on in a mages head. Evelyn said that the main problem comes from his lack of control over mana as a mage, but training for five years under a master should of helped him.  This had only happened one time before when he and trev were out in the woods hunting and he got hurt while callum was looking for food. A beast came out of nowhere and callum just snapped breaking its neck in cold blood. She was watching from afar and saw the look in his eyes that told her to stay behind or she may be the next victim. I knew a simple hug wouldn’t help him snap out of the rage, it was something we had to watch and see. The more I think about it the more I notice that I do care about him. When we watched the snow he pulled away from me saying he was sorry for kissing me.

“its not something I can control, I don’t know what I feel anymore, all I know is I feel the need to help you every chance I get.” “then stay with me, your going to do the best you can.” “and what if I am the one to hurt you next”

That made me think all over again what It meant to hurt another person, weve traveled and hid for a long time since the death of the king, and were running out of money. Callum works day in and day out, never sleeping and trying to keep up the energy just to live. He visits Alfin and evelyn in the hospital repeatedly looking for the need to apologize but cant do a damn thing about it. Alfin wants a rematch but callum wont stand for it while hes recuperating. The madness I see in his eyes is nothing but a trivial matter in that state, it’s the power he unleashes that comprimises the sanctity of safety. Evelyn visits me in the day to talk and wants to travel with us in spring as a group considering none of us are capable of being on our own.

“its for the best desmond, were not here for any other reason but to survive in this bout of life.” “doing so will keep us in less danger, so please understand that I need to run this by callum.” “of course he will fully give support on a yes or no, but please we don’t have much time to spare.”

“I know and I will talk to him as soon as I can evelyn, its just he doesn’t seem to wanna talk anymore” “I know desmond, he must be sorting his feelings out, im sure he will be back to normal soon.” over the days going by, evelyn has shown me how to fight with the sickle and even sparred with me a few times, while I am still a novice I will learn to get better. She even made a chain for me to use as a long range weapon and got me a grip so my hand doesn’t get shredded. It was nice of her as I know with alfin in the hospital he wont be much help around so offering her food and a place to talk is fine with her. She does seem a bit worried of both of her friends and doesn’t seem to talk about trev as much as everyone else claims to talk about him as well. She says its cuase hes always distant and would normally just hang out with callum more often than not, but that might be cause they come from similar backgrounds and they saw each other as friends through commonality. Trev was the one who joined him during his training as a guard in case things went south.  She said he was always a man after money and almost got callum expelled cause he was taking payment for guard duty of other mages despite it being against the schools rule of compensation.

Elsewhere in the kingdom, trev appears before a group of elders about his performance. He has been wanted for taking payment against orders and may face expulsion from the knights guard for it. The council perceives him as a threat due to his heritage and bloodline, being a vampire is bad enough but a orc dwarf mix is unheard of even in peasant families.

“dear trevant, why do you think its fine to take wares from those you work under as a job.” “to make a living, nothing more nothing less, I find no need to not accept a payment for a better job.”

“we found the pendent in your quarters, is this what you accepted as payment from that wanted murderer?” “I accepted the pendant as a gift from caladium when he left for training before I was sent over, a personal gift from a friend and comrade, nothing more.” “you think we will fall for that garbage, you let a murderer live regardless of the orders, high treason is what you committed, hence forth the elders have decided to exile you not only from the knights guard but from the kingdom entirely.” “fine with me this place was getting to hectic for my taste anyway, just another group of old folk looking to take down a new generation of progressive movement, heres my weapon and badge, im keeping the armor.” “be sure you will be escorted this evening outside the gate, wehre you go from there is your own issue.” “well thank goodness, I thought id be still here begging for mercy.”

Trev is led out to the citys outskirts and led away from the guards. As he looks back he shrugs his shoulders and shoulders his svardstav looking to the north. He recounts that he is happy to be done with being a knight as he found it too bothersome to save anyone based on an order and many of his so called targets were innocent bystanders, who happen to have crap loads of money. Reaching into his satchel he notices how much money hes got.

“thank you caladium and your magic stash.” trev walks down the dirt path as the snow begins to fall looking upwards he decides to head north before the holiday rush begins, knowing full well being alone on holidays is quite a pain in the ass. He traveled to a small lodging taking a black horse and leaving a small sack of gold in its pen stealing one of the swords from the mans armory and hauling off to the north.

I never thought much of the fact that callum was focusing on himself until it donned on me that he doesn’t have anyone to fight on even footing, at least without going crazy. His fight with trev showed me how skilled he is but also how far hes willing to go for the sake of saving his friend. i see the look in his eyes knowing full well he wont be around all the time for us and that the token of giving up a priceless artifact just to save our lives was not to taken lightly. He came to me for the first time in a few days asking if I wanted to go out to the trade market and shop around. Despite the lack of money, he wanted to get out of the woods and enjoy ourselves for once before the tourists pile in. evelyn chose to stay behind and wait for alfin to fully recover, I promised to get her a new coat as her royal one will remain to conspicuous against finding areas to hide out. I notice though that even as we walked, callum was quiet as ever but was at least smiling at me for the least.

“evelyn been teaching you well, your steps are quieter than before, and your getting more fit.” “well yeah more so im happy that your finally talking to me.” “I know, ive been thinking about what I did and how I either acted stupidly or if it truly was for the best I did it.”

“you didn’t have to do it you know, you didn’t have be kiss me like you needed to prove something.” “well it was an heat of passion, I was blinded by emotion and thought that maybe I had some feelings spilling out, but that wasn’t the case.”

He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to one of the shops, it was an apothecary that had rare herbs and minerals from far off lands. As I gazed around I could feel the energy was pure and whimsical to say the least. Callum had wanted this to be special for me, so he called in a favor from his friends outside the kingdom to make up for being so distant. In the back he set up a special meal for us with my favorite food. He lit the candles using magic and tossed a sphere to create an artificial moon over us. The night went on for hours as we enjoyed out meal and attempted to move past the  problems that we were facing with new comrades and the guards after us.

“never in my life would I feel safer than with you.” “no matter how far one of us goes, the other shall follow til the very end.” “despite the time, I feel as though we knew one another once before.” “that might be the case, but regardless, here we are now.”

I felt his foot going on top of mine not letting me go and proceeded to take me by the hand as the light dimmed into the room. He swayed me across as if it was a royal banquet and held me close. I felt overwhelmed as no one has ever embraced me as such before. The night felt like an eternity as I felt his gentle hands on mine, he rocked me in the room all night kissing my forehead and telling me that he was right to kiss me.

“no more will I be afraid, you were the first man to show me the look of innocence.” “and you are the man who showed me how to be a stronger person, to protect and believe that I am meant for more.” “I missed you so much over those five years, I always wanted to see you but the kingdom had turned on itself and I couldn’t find a way out.” “and I only wished to pay you back the way you did for me so many times.” as we walked out of the building he took my hand and held me close, I never seen him smile so much from one night of fun. He pulled me as we started rushing in the streets, bringing me to a wooden path.

“I wanted to ensure that this night doesn’t end too quickly, so I found a spot we can relax at.” “you really don’t have to do all this.” “trust me youll love this.” as he pulled me through the brush and down the path, I could tell that things were getting somehow warmer, like not just in the air or his smile. I finally felt like someone cared after so long. When we reached the end of the path I could only see a massive emerald fire burning in a pit and blanket sprawled out. callum sat asking me to join him and showed me what he had done.

“I used some old runes I had to make a everchanging flame, as it burns it shows the emotion we both convey.” “that’s really sweet, I can feel its heat from here.” callum kissed me saying that he was happy I loved the idea, the two of us kissed as we both saw the flames going from green to a yellow, and then to a deep red.

“crimson red, the color of love and adoration , all that I give for you is what I wish to hold.” “so long at you are close to me I can feel nothing but the upmost care for a man I see as my eternity.” Callum laid me down and undid my jacket seeing me sweating from the fires heat. He swiftly took his off and continued to caress my neck. I felt my arms grabbing his shirt tearing it slightly. When I apologized, he looked at me with an intense look.

“no need to think you hurt me, for im going to love you until the dawn breaks.” he took my shirt off holding my hands as he played with my nipples and teased my pants. I couldn’t help but look as he tore his off showing off his husky physique and sweated chest, his hair down and his brown eyes staring deeply into me like garnet nuggets in a kiln ready to be smoldered. He laid me down and unzipped my pants and began sucking me off. I could feel no better sensation than ive ever felt. I noticed his pants getting tighter and I unzipped them revealing this throbbing dagger, wholeheartedly grabbing and stroking it making him moan. I pulled the pants off as we stared at one another naked under the moonlight as callum waved his hands and wrapped the flames of love around us.

“I want you to see the magic of both humanity and the love I burn for you.” I watched as the flames began enveloping into a vortex around us and he laid on top of me his his hair parted and smiling at me. I felt as he began teasing my virgin hole with his hands and tongue, he was willing to do so much for me, and I could see the man I saw on horseback all that time ago, ready to make love for the first time. he held my hand as he made love to me, thrusting gently and slowly grabbing my waist and kissing me calling me name. the flames changing from red to yellow to a heavenly white. It was a perfect site to behold around me but the real sight was the man I wanted to see gazing into my eyes. He never topped pleasuring me even when he was the one doing the work, he made me feel so good that night. He made me climax right before him and as he waved his hand the flames receded to the pit and continued to burn. With us embracing the sun began to rise.

“that really was a magical endeavor callum, thank you.” he couldn’t hear as he had fallen asleep, I parted his and kissed his forehead and nuzzled up to him feeling his heartbeat as we slumbered well into the day.