#i wonder how many clothing related gifts they’ve given each other over the years

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Girl wait til you find out it’s assumed the space shirt was given to Alex by Miles (he liked the designer’s post of it a while before Alex was seen wearing it)

oh my god for real?? i officially love it even more now 😭 (i’m also now stupidly emotional over the image of of miles seeing a cute little space themed shirt and immediately thinking of a certain cute little man who loves space stuff. aghhhhhhh 😭😭)

[lightwoodsmagic]

Hi! So I agree Liam is queer, and the pink🔺in his video compels me not to ignore it. I saw one of your Ziam posts making its rounds after the SIU video, so I thought you were the person to ask. I only joined the fandom after Zayn left, and I’ve always had a hard time finding info on why and how that played out at the time (nobody seems to agree). Could you elaborate (or link to previous posts) on why you think Ziam is still a thing, and how they are telling us? Thanks for your insight so far!

 Hi anon! 

Thank you so much for thinking of me! I’m sorry it’s taken me a little while to answer, but it took me a bit to gather all the info I wanted (while I should’ve been working oop).

Okay, please know that this post is gonna be loooooong, so I’ve popped it under the cut.

You’re right about nobody agreeing on Zayn leaving the band, and it makes sense that people have differing views. It’s such a complicated thing; there was a lot happening at the time. 

I’m going to start by saying there’s a brilliant masterpost about Zayn leaving here. It’s incredibly detailed, talks about pretty much every aspect of it, and there’s so much to look into. It’s also wonderful to demonstrate how much the boys and Zayn still hinted at things and loved each other, like Harry using Zayn’s mic one night, Liam talking about him fondly in interviews, Niall still calling him by his nickname, and Louis wearing his clothes.

It’s a long read, but incredibly worth it, as it this stunting timeline.

Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion, so I’ll just give you mine. I’m gonna keep it (kind of) short though. A lot of what I’m about to say can be found in the masterposts I’ve linked above.

I believe that Zayn leaving was out of his control, and was never completely his decision. I believe that he was set to return, but for some reason, the plan changed. Mind of Mine was apparently written before he left, and while I think he would’ve been working on solo music before he left (and that all of them were to some extent), to tease an album right after the announcement that he left makes no sense. A contract like the one that 1D had/has with Syco would cost an obscene amount of money to get out of, and Zayn’s net worth didn’t change at all. They made it seem so simple in the very few interviews with Zayn afterwards, saying he just called his security, got on a plane, and left. I think Zayn struggled a lot with everything, they all did, but I don’t think he could’ve just left. There were articles put out about his new album that mentioned Simco and everything, but when people pointed out that it didn’t make sense with the narrative that Simon felt ‘betrayed’, the references were removed straight away. 

There’s also a very solid theory that MoM was counted as One Direction’s sixth and final contracted album, and it really stands up. Check it out! 

Look. There’s a lot to unpack with the whole situation, and I’ve hardly touched on it at all, but I really do encourage you to look into it with everything I’ve linked above  💞

Okay, now onto the second part of your ask! 

Ziam. My loooovveesss.  

I’m going to start by saying that there’s a lot of ways that Liam and Zayn have hinted that they’re still together, and honestly? The boys ain’t even subtle about it. I’ll start by talking about heaps of ways they’ve done that since Zayn left!

Alright, let’s start with the fact that they WILL NOT STOP LIKING, REBLOGGING, AND RETWEETING POSTS FROM ZIAM ACCOUNTS. 

(x) (x)

These aren’t subtle Ziam accounts, and it’s not just these examples. This also isn’t just something in the past; that bottom right one references Stack It Up.

They’ve also both reposted fanart from a well known Ziam where each drawing referenced the other one. 

(x)

The Zayn art says ‘Love Payne’ on the beanie. Well then. 

And the Liam one? That he posted on his personal insta? The artist added the ‘love’ tattoo from Zayn’s hand onto Liam’s. It’s obvious, and it’s not like Liam wouldn’t have noticed that suddenly there was a new tattoo added ON HIS OWN HAND. 

Not very subtle, hey.

It’s also not the only shady social media activity related to the boys  👀

There was the time that Liam explained why he’d written ‘personally’ twice in a thank you post in his insta story to Bvlgari. 

But he hadn’t. What had happened was that Twitter account @TheZiamNews had made a small mistake, and had actually written it twice. The only explanation was that Liam saw it on a Ziam update page VERY quickly, thought he had made the original mistake, and then explained. Interesting that Liam keeps up to date with them. 

There was also the time Liam blocked an account for talking absolute shit about Zayn, or when Herbie Critchlow (a producer from Icarus Falls) retweeted a tweet about Common being about Ziam. Also can’t forget Brandon Colbein posting on insta about some songs he’d written, and somehow there was one for Zayn and one for Liam. 

Oh, and when Liam’s friend Andy (who seems to…split the fandom, but alas) posted a video of him listening to Icarus Falls, or every single mirroring insta post Liam and Zayn can’t seem to help making.

And their eyebrow slits! 😊 this goes allllll the way back to One Direction days.

(x)

Now, this is a constant, recurring thing for them over the years.

It’s usually at the same time, and it usually signifies something. 

Zayn went ALL OUT one day, just after Z*gi ‘broke up’, and put a slit in his eyebrow, but it wasn’t a normal one. It was in the shape of an L. That fucking sap. Not to be outdone though, Liam popped a lil’ Z in the graphics for his show last year in Japan. 

SAPS, THE BOTH OF THEM.

Now, jewellery. 

OOOOOF are we in for it now. You’re probably regretting this ask already. 

Cartier. 

Say that single word around someone who believes in Ziam and you’ve lost them forever. 

Back in 2015 (so yes, a while ago but bear with me) during the OTRA tour, Zayn suddenly started wearing a gold Cartier bracelet. It was interesting because Zayn didn’t wear bracelets at the time. It was particularly interesting because Liam had been seen earlier that day with jewellery bags buying a present. Curious.

Or obvious. 

Either or. 

A similar thing happened when Zayn attended the ‘Straight Outta Compton’ premiere, one of his first appearances after he left the band. He was wearing a Hublot watch, which was also interesting because Zayn didn’t wear watches either. 

But GUESS WHERE LIAM HAD BEEN 2 DAYS BEFORE THE PREMIERE?

You’re damn right, anon. It was Hublot.

Now, the Cartier love bracelet. 

This picture was posted when Liam was getting ready for the Brits in 2017. For those that don’t know, the Cartier love bracelet has little screws, and can only be undone with a little gold screwdriver that comes with it. 

Liam wore it everywhere that year, and so often. It didn’t make sense for it to be ‘given to him by Ch*ryl’, because they would’ve used every opportunity to show that damn screwdriver. 

But they didn’t, because she didn’t have it. Zayn did. 

There’s also the other matching bracelets they’ve worn by Alexander McQueen.

And also the other time Zayn wore Cartier in his film clip, or the fact that Zayn started wearing a ring on his right ring finger that was sold and marketed by Cartier AS A WEDDING RING. 

They also share watches if Zayn decides to wear one, because they’re cute like that.

Now, they also share clothes. 

So many clothes, ohmygod. 

(x)

A prime example of this actually happened just last year! TWICE! IN NYC WHEN LIAM WAS THERE (obviously to see his husband). Both times, Liam was out and about wearing two of Zayn’s jackets. 

It’s also absolutely not a coincidence that when Zayn was staying at G*gi’s apartment on Bond Street, Liam stayed at a hotel a few minutes away a number of times, but when Zayn moved to Soho, Liam suddenly switched hotels to one in Soho, a few minutes away from Zayn’s new place. Just can’t stay away from an old band mate you hardly talk to, hey. 

Also can’t ignore Liam wearing numerous Kooples shirts during the time Zayn was doing promotional stuff for them. Husbands givin’ gifts.

 NYC isn’t the only city that relates to Ziam though! 

Ahhhhhhhh. Ziami. What a time, what a time, what a time (for you and I).

Anyway. 

At the start of last year, Liam and Zayn were both in Miami at the same time filming music videos for Let Me and Familiar respectively, arriving either at the same time or a day apart. It was at a time when Zayn was all over his socials, posting poems and selfies and generally being his relaxed, gorgeous self, which wasn’t incredibly common for a while. 

People were convinced they could hear Zayn in one of Liam’s insta stories, talking in the background just before Liam realises and raises his voice. It’s definitely not firm though, and Liam has someone in his team with a similar accent, but I’ve linked it so you can judge for yourself! Regardless, we knew they were both there, but it was a fun lil’ talking point!

Anyway, according to people who live in the area and know the coastline, they were in the same area at the same time, and we also knew that Liam wasn’t with Ch*ryl because she was back in the UK. Now, Liam posted an Instagram story the next morning half naked in bed, his 4 tattoo (we’ll get to that) and roses on full display, and saying he’d wrecked his voice. 

Well then. 

He also posted this. 

It was a video, but it was Liam, in his room ‘alone’ with two desserts for breakfast at a time when we knew Zayn was there and no one else was, and he suddenly had no voice. 

Okay okay, we get it. 

They also consistently reference the number 25, and honestly, no one knows why the fuck.

Just casually on Liam’s jackets and shoes, Zayn’s shoes and a shirt that was sold (even the red and yellow, ffs Zayn), and also Zayn’s NECK, which he got in 2018. There was also chevrons on a collection for Zayn, just like Liam’s tattoos.

Speaking of tattoos Zayn got in 2018. 

That big, red wolf on his chest just up there?

One of the biggest Ziam things to ever happen. 

Red was Liam’s mic colour in 1D, everything they fucking do seems to be related to red, and Liam’s nickname is Wolfie because he’s from Wolverhampton. 

It’s a red wolf, directly on his chest, and it’s 100% for Liam. It’s not the only red wolf tattoo Zayn has; he also has one on his leg with feathers, just like Liam’s feather tattoo. 

The media often talk about the eyes Zayn has underneath that, and that they’re for G*gi, but the eyes underneath are so much lighter than the surrounding ink, the shape fits easily, and to me, it seems clear they’ve been done in a way that they can easily be inked over. It was designed for a cover up, and hopefully it’s coming. Zayn also has Liam’s name literally inked into his skin. 

They also have coordinating hand tattoos. The mandala on Zayn’s hand and the roses on Liam’s are explained brilliantly in this post. The two of these together mean ‘Symbol of Eternity’. Fucking hell. 

The three roses on Liam’s hand also translates to ‘I love you’. FUUUCCCKKKKKKK.

Liam also wore a ring for a while, until he was forced to take it off, but then he rebelled anyway, and got this.

It’s important because not only is it on his wedding finger, it’s also what he said about it, and when he got it. 

Now, not only is 4 as an angel number about changing the only things that you can in a situation, but Liam directly said that’s what it was. He can’t wear a wedding ring, so he did the next best thing. 

It also came when Liam and Ch*ryl became ‘official’, and when he’d already quashed marriage twice in an interview. Interesting choice, then. He also spoke of the 4 and a ring forming a halo, but still somehow shut down marriage talk? 

…….okay then. 

Some incredibly brilliant people pointed out that it also came just before Valentine’s Day.

And just before he started wearing the Cartier bracelet from earlier. 

There’s also the blatant references to a gorgeous, loving relationship throughout Icarus Falls, especially in Common and There You Are. There You Are was pushed as a Z*gi song, but people realised it was impossible when they found old pictures of the name of the song on his original plan for Mind of Mine, and realised it just hadn’t made that album. It doesn’t fit their timeline at all, but it does fit Ziam.

We don’t see Zayn very much at the moment, and I’m glad that he’s taking his time just doing what he’s doing! It does mean that we hardly see them interact or reference each other much, but I have absolutely no reason to believe they’ve broken up. The fact that they’re both still going through PR relationship bullshit, and the timing of Liam getting a ‘girlfriend’ right now instead of just rumours is very interesting to me, because Z*gi officially finished again not that long ago. When one is ‘single’, the other can’t be, it seems. 

This isn’t even everything, anon. They’re not subtle; Zayn just isn’t in the public eye as much. 

Everything they do screams love, devotion, and commitment to each other. 

And it’s fucking gorgeous.

[theredconversegirl]

hi!!! i saw that you were accepting blurbs and i was wondering if you could write a blurb based on prompts 15 and 34? :)

Hi nonny :)

Thanks for stopping by! 

I had time to finish this prompt last night. There are so many possibilities that it was hard to choose one. I hope you like what I came up with! 😊

15. “Take. It. Off.” / 34. “Come and make me.”

Title: Gift Rating: M - language Words: 1855 Warning: Modern AU Romance/Humour

Summary: It's Naruto's birthday, but Sasuke gets a gift too.

📌 Read here: FanFiction | ao3

 ——————————————————————————

If there is one thing Sasuke Uchiha hates more than birthday parties, it's giving presents to their patrons.

It has nothing to do with money – he doesn't care about that – and more to do with the actual shopping.

If it's a good friend or a family member, he'd have to find a thoughtful gift. And if it's an acquaintance, the problem can escalate; most times he ends up buying gift cards, which opens a brand new plethora of options.

Really, why are there so many gift card options? How can he choose just one?

There's also the fact that the whole thing would take a good chunk of his free time – which is already limited these days with college and all.

And don't get him started with malls, because if he couldn't order online, he'd have to get his ass to one of those hell-on-earth locations, find a store with potential goods for the occasion, and then survive the crowds, the parking, the drive to and fro. It's a nightmare.

To his dismay, today is one of those days; one that he has to get a last minute present because he dicked around and forgot to shop online beforehand.

When he woke up this morning (one hour ago), the first thing he noticed was the red numbers of the alarm clock, bright and angry. His tired eyes stared until the minute number turned and the blaring sound ended, then he did a double take, seeing the date for the first time.

It's his best friend's birthday.

And he completely forgot about it.

Naruto is turning twenty and expecting his presence later that evening. He could go to the nearest gas station, buy his friend any Ramen's Shop Gift Card, and the problem is solved. But then again, despite his over the top behaviour, Naruto had given him exactly what he needed that year, and the year before too.

Sighing soundly, Sasuke leaves the parking lot and walks towards the entrance, already dreading the next hours of his life. When he passes the angle in the concourse – after trying the game store, the music store and a bunch of others – he sees what can be the answer for all his prayers: sports.

Naruto is an easygoing person that likes pretty much everything. Although, jumpsuits, jerseys, and any sports swag are kind of his obsession. Sasuke is sure the blonde set his preference for sportswear over regular clothes long before he knew of their purpose.

As he turns and walks towards his new goal, determined and fast steps leading him to the Sports store, Sasuke runs the last interaction he had with Naruto in his head. Promptly, he remembers something about the NBA and a limited edition jersey for that season.

And just like that, Sasuke is a man on a mission; it's like a beacon is guiding him through the busy store, taking him exactly to where he needs to be. He doesn't even notice that he's standing right in front of a pile of NBA merchandise until he sees a hand appearing on his peripheral vision, grabbing one folded shirt.

His eyes follow the movement and when he sees there's nothing underneath the item that was just removed from the shelf, he frowns. That's probably the last one... Wait a second, that is his (Naruto's) jersey!

Quickly, he snatches the shirt's hem between two fingers and turns to see the source of his annoyance, a few strings of words ready to leave his mouth—

There's nothing.

He has to move his eyes down to finally find it, and when his eyes notice pink and then focus on green, they narrow. You gotta be kidding me, he thinks, because she is the last person he wants to see holding the other end of that limited edition jersey.

"Sakura," he hisses, tugging the fabric in his hold. "What are you doing here?"

"The same as you, it seems," she replies through gritted teeth, "buying Naruto's birthday gift." She fists her end of the jersey for emphasis and narrows her eyes at him, mirroring his own scowl.

Sakura Haruno is their other best friend – Naruto's and his. They've been an inseparable trio since kindergarten or sometime before that, nobody is really sure anymore. They were young – pretty young – when they met.

Like himself, Sakura knows Naruto like the back of her hand (and is also looking for his gift at the last minute). Despite not being a sports person, she knows that this item, of all merchandise in this entire store, is the one the blonde wants – much to his annoyance.

"Let go, Sasuke," she commands, heat lacing her tone.

"I had my eyes set on this long before—"

"And I had hands on it!"

"—you put your tiny hands on it."

"What's wrong with my hands?" She looks down, pouting, brows knitting together in faux worry. One of her hands releases the shirt's fabric to move between them, she turns it over, spreads her fingers, and plays with the manicured, green tips. "They are pretty cute!"

Gods, she's so distract—annoying.

He takes advantage of the fact that she's holding the item with only one hand and still looking at her nails to give the fabric a harsh tug. It's no use; her hold is pretty strong for her size, and she ends up falling against him, her fist still clutching the jersey.

"Hey!" She scoffs, affronted.

As she places her free hand on his chest, he feels her warmth seeping through his clothes, and he momentarily freezes, taking in the soothing feeling. Sasuke looks down, curious to see what she's doing still perched on him, when she uses all her strength to push herself away.

It's not a surprise by now how strong this tiny devil is. Sasuke has been involved in several fights with the pinkette through the years (mostly during his childhood), and a few brawlings that he's not proud of (he wasn't always the winner).

Although he's stronger, strength is not the problem here. What's keeping her on the winning side is her most frustrating weapon, one that she doesn't even know she possesses: her ability to make him focus on random things when she's around – most of these things, related to her.

Sakura looks very distracting today, with her bare shoulders on display and short shorts hugging her thighs. Her pretty, bright eyes looking up at him through thick, long lashes and...

See? What is she doing to him?

Distracting.

He might have issues showing and dealing with his emotions, but he's not a blind man. And he knows this is the only reason she's still holding his (Naruto's!) gift right now.

By the time he finds her gaze again, Sakura is a good few feet away, the jersey pressed tightly to her chest. He mentally shakes his head and moves slowly, one step after the other, as if he's approaching a scared animal.

"Sakura…"

Her name is a warning, she knows. As he gets closer, she steps backwards, trying to keep the distance between them.

"Yes?" She replies, stopping short of entering one of the changing stalls, her voice is meek, barely a whisper.

That's it, he thinks, there's no place to run. He wins, he'll get the jersey from her and— but then, the little witch bites her lip, and in a swift motion, tosses the jersey over her head.

She's… she's wearing it!

The thing is so big that it covers her own clothes and from where he stands, it looks like she's wearing only that. Although Sasuke is aware this is not true, his brain is having a hard time trying to keep up.

"Take it off," he tells her.

"Huh?" She asks, twirling a pink lock around her finger, one hand resting on her hip. He narrows his eyes when he sees the glint of challenge flashing on hers.

"I said: Take. It. Off," he snarls.

Sasuke watches as she tilts her head up, looks him right in the eyes, and smirks. Smirks! He's sure she got that from him.

"Come and make me!"

He doesn't realize he starts moving again until he's right in front of her, so close that they share the same breath. Sasuke has always kept his distance, especially in cases like this where their close proximity is confusing, and can blur some lines. But now, it seems he's had enough.

"Sasuke, what are you..." she swallows, eyes wide, her soft pink lips parting to suck in a deep breath.

"Making you," he says, stepping further into her space.

Each step forces her backwards until her back hits the wall. Sasuke's hand finds the hem of the jersey easily, knuckles brushing on the skin of her smooth thighs as he bunches the fabric up.

"What..." she breathes.

"Mine," he growls, and he's not sure he's talking about the stupid jersey anymore.

The air between them shifts, turning thick and heavy. She flails her tiny fists on his chest, trying to push him away, but fails miserably this time. Annoyed, Sasuke grabs one of her hands and pins it above her head.

He gets the shirt over her hip and up her waist when he finds bare skin again, and goddammit, she's so warm and soft and…

Without thinking, Sasuke releases the shirt to grab at her waist, fingers digging into her flesh. Her breathing hitches, and he watches as she struggles under his heavy gaze, her own clouding with confusion and something else.

"Sasuke."

Shut up, he thinks, because he's trying to figure out something and she won't stop squirming. He pins her body with his hips and lowers his head, bringing them face to face. Sakura starts to thrash, eyes burning with anger, and he suspects he's said the words out loud.

"Sasuke Uchiha," her soft lips move, and his gaze follows them, her tongue darting out to swipe across her bottom lip. "You—"

Annoying woman.

Any thread of control he has left snaps, his mouth crashing down on hers as he moves a hand through her pink locks and presses them against the wall.

Sakura's hands stop pushing him away, they go slack for a second and then grip his shirt, pulling him closer.

The taste of her lips on his is heady, the way his tongue slides against hers consumes Sasuke until he's drowning in nothing but Sakura Haruno.

He doesn't know how long they kiss, but it doesn't seem enough. It goes from desperate, making up for all the lost time, to lazy and seductive.

"You know," she says between kisses, and he moves to explore her neck, giving them both some air. "We could buy this jersey and a basketball or something, and give them to Naruto together."

"Can we do that?" His voice is muffled against her skin, and she shivers when he finds her pulse point and gives it a hard suck.

"Yesss, uh, like a couple's gift."

He hums in response, enjoying her explanation for more than one reason.

He got the gift.

And the girl.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Do you have any kleinsen headcanons? I am very curious

oh man like....i don't have any Hard And Fast inflexible ideas really, because at any given moment i'm probably thinking about like nineteen different what-if's or AUs or such that would technically contradict each other lol........but i just have like, limitless thoughts about kleinsen in general

also i'm not at all good at answering anything that's very general despite the fact that being sent an ask as an excuse to say anything i want about kleinsen or anything else i like is the absolute ideal and thank you and so i'm gonna try to like, actually Access all these infinite ideas and put some of them into words and not totally disappoint myself and others here

jared's crush on evan is either mostly concurrent with or has a bit of a head start on his long-unfolding Gay Awakening, which just makes grappling with both more difficult and makes it take longer for him to first even understand it and then try to resign himself to it and then move towards accepting/embracing it.....he's definitely ahead of evan in terms of understanding his own sexuality though, because evan's had more of the tendency to harbor longtime crushes on somebody, which means he doesn't really have to like, reflect on the issue. jared has definitely had Gay Thoughts since basically forever and like, has maybe had other lil crushes on guys besides evan, but his evan crush is like The Big One and the one that won't go away cuz uh oh they're friends and together a lot

evan's laptop used to be jared's and he gave it to evan after getting a newer one from some relation for his bday or hanukkah or what have you. he was real casual about it obvs

speaking of, neither of them really have a taste for birthday parties or anything, in part cuz neither of them have ever had many (or at times any) other friends, and in part also b/c evan gets nervous re: prolonged social demand and is a constant at both his own and any of jared's bday Acknowledgments, so really it just tends to be like, Going Out For An Evening And Doing Something Special With Your Parent/s And Also Maybe Your One Friend and that sort of deal. like going to a concert or a movie or some event at the nearest Big-ish City and stuff. jared always feels like he has to like, prove himself with any gifts he gives evan, and sort of agonizes over getting evan something he knows he'll actually really like, but not seem over-the-top in terms of being too expensive or too sentimental or anything. and when evan reacts well and is all grateful and shit jared is at once trying really to act all "oh you like it? cool yeah w/e" and is also obviously super pleased and relieved because now he can feel confident for a while that evan likes him. for the most part evan doesn't really get jared things because ever since the elementary school times his bdays have been No Gifts affairs re: anyone who isn't family, and this was again specifically b/c jared's family knows finances were an issue for the hansens and evan was pretty much jared's best friend by default if nothing else so like, for good measure it was just always made clear like oh don't send him over with anything, seriously. on occasion though in say middle school / early high school times, evan has gotten hold of something or made something for jared that's kind of like, deliberately humorous, but also something he'd still genuinely enjoy. even if it's like, a family-size box of cheezits or some shit

they both have like, Friendship Memorabilia re: each other in their bedrooms, including photos of when they were younger and stuff. they both keep at least some of this post-gfy

jared likes to cook for evan as another kind of gesture that he knows isn't necessarily going to come across as an emotional or loving one. evan likes to cook in general, but he's not very good at it, b/c it's not exactly like heidi often had the chance to teach him or anything. whereas jared is pretty good. so he'll say he's hungry and then make a meal for the both of them. or sometimes he'll pull something like, go on a snack run or show up with them and deliberately leave them with evan. one time his parents were gone for the weekend and jared made a shitload of matzo ball soup for fuckin kicks and drove real slow over to the hansens with half of it in a stockpot strapped into the passenger seat and was all "i made soup and i'm bored and i'm here can i stay"

they both get pretty good grades because they have nothing better to do than their homework, but for a while evan wondered why jared did so decently in school because whenever they hung out to do homework together, jared would tend to be distracted easily / take impromptu breaks for a while / ask evan if he got what ___ was about or complained about it all generally. in reality jared mostly was always just trying to make the occasion more social and also stall for time so that it was more likely to become a situation in which they have a sleepover because it's late enough that that's just easier

jared also definitely has at least one playlist about his crush on evan, if only an informal one that's a mental playlist of songs he likes to listen to when he's pining hard

that thing where if one of them cries the other starts crying is true

which, also, evan has seen jared cry before, even sometimes when jared was the one to start crying on his own

re: how once jared's crush on evan started to also become entangled in his gay awakening things get kind of rough sometimes—there's definitely been at least one moment of fleeting physical contact which has made his feelings for evan That Much More difficult to mistake/ignore. evan's using a chair as a stepstool and asks for jared's help to not die while he's doing it and so jared has to stand there and hold evan by the waist for 14 seconds and it is a jolt to the system and he really doesn't know how to process or handle how much of an emotional impact this kind of shit has

they've ended up leaving clothes at each other's places and forgetting them there for so long that the other just ends up wearing it as their own at some point

i don't think that jared having a crush on evan is the only reason they probably got more distant in high school than they had been previously but i do think it sure did contribute. jared got to the point he would consciously fantasize about kissing evan and no way does he know how to deal with that; initially he also is kind of scared by that b/c evan's pretty much the first guy he's attracted to in a self-aware sort of way in that he's like "oh this is like, gay" rather than sort of feeling this desire for intimacy as something more vague and indefinable

by senior year evan is starting to sort of be aware of maybe having similar feelings towards jared, but a) the moments in which he's conscious with it are pretty fleeting in part because he pushes it away and b) he doesn't really have to think on it anyways because he has this other crush to focus on and c) it's not like jared's come out to him so he's not exactly aware of how jared feels, yet at times he kind of picks up on something even if he doesn't fully process what exactly this vibe is that he gets from their interactions every now and then

heidi definitely has wondered at various points if jared and evan were going to end up dating / if either of them had a crush on the other

jared didn't cry immediately when evan told him he was dating zoe, but he did get around to it within like twelve hours at most lol......kind of tears of frustration b/c a lot of the feelings he had were being processed into anger at the situation

jared also definitely had, like, an ongoing breakdown for several days after the gfy fight, like, able to function decently and everything but only getting through the schoolday by being super emotionally checked out besides a simmering defensive frustration, and then when he's back home he's more like. shutting himself away and crying and shit.

speaking of that, @nothingunrealistic was pointing out how it's likely that gfy happens before the upcoming weekend which jared is inviting evan over for underage drinking, and how it'd be possible that in a sort of manifestation of bitterness jared just underage drinks on his own on this kind of slow-motion weekendlong bender because he's miserable and being drunk is just making him more prone to these Even More Utter Emotional Collapses

and like for the following weeks it's real Depression Time more than usual and he's fairly on edge and irritable and occasionally having another private emotional collapse

their first kiss probably follows a lottttt of talking and probably some arguing and definitely a shitload of finally directly discussing actual emotions they have, but it's also fun to imagine scenarios in which their first kiss just kind of Happens To Happen without a slow approach. i don't think either of them would try to go for a kiss basically apropos of absolutely nothing, but i think if someone was going to suddenly push the Mood towards the possibility of kissing, it would be semi-spontaneous and it would most likely be jared who's going for it. and in the very last seconds they would be all up in each other's personal space and inching closer but there would very definitely be these little and very deliberate hesitations along the way in which they wait to see if the other is going to shove them away or show disgust or anything. but then when they do kiss they are both very into it

in the scenario that they kiss after a lot of talking and probably arguing and discussing actual emotions, they're definitely either already crying when they kiss or they start crying in the middle of the kiss, but they are both very into it and it goes on for a long time and it is also very much an embrace

when they're finally talking about their feelings and shit jared is the first to admit he loves evan but he can't bring himself to directly admit to having a crush on him, but evan brings it up because it's basically already just that fuckin obvious. brings it up gently though cuz he does Know jared and knows that even if they're getting real with each other, it's an extra sensitive matter and also like. for his own sake he wants to talk about it gently lol he's not about to feel like "oh yeah jared totally is in love with me" and jared's not about to feel like evan wants jared to love him or could be in love with him back

when he's comfortable and around someone he's comfortable with, evan actually tells jokes sometimes, and he's always really enjoyed whenever he makes jared laugh for real

jared really likes sustained contact like........he enjoys stuff like maybe having his hair played with a bit or evan running his thumb over the back of his hand but like, he only likes it for a limited period of time / when it gradually slows down and stills......he likes getting to be touched for like, a quarter of an hour or more, but prefers for it to just be like, a hold, an arm across his shoulders, evan's legs across his lap, that kind of thing, nothing too fidgety cuz half the time that ends up making him nervous or at least distracted by it but not in the way he'd like

jared will sometimes engage in a running joke in which he sings along with songs just so he can change the lyrics from "heaven" to "evan." e.g. "two lovers entwined pass me by and evan knows i'm miserable now" or what's this ella fitzgerald record doing here uh oh i'm putting it on here we go and "evan, i'm in evan, and my heart beats so that i can hardly speak" and meanwhile evan just calmly entreats him to please stop. he does like when jared sings tho. jared is Into music and most of the time that just means listening to it a lot but also he can get really into it and dance and/or sing along and evan enjoys this. it is even more difficult to get evan to the point of wanting to do the same, but sometimes its possible, and he's more likely to if it's to mess around n have fun w jared

jared really really appreciates affection..............on the other end from that prolonged steady contact thing, he'll also enjoy shit like getting kissed 54 times all across the face and arms. in terms of the kinds of physical affection he'll show, he also gravitates to the slower / softer side of things......he can tend to be pretty emotional with it also, cuz it's still easier to express himself nonverbally / with gestures than words sometimes......when you spend however long trying to keep yourself from voicing your own real feelings and shit, it takes a while to figure out how to Not do that......

they'd also have to talk about the contents of The Letter and would also definitely do that whenever they were first talking again. jared would have these two main reasons to be upset, the first being the obvious one, the second that the letter makes it sound like evan either didn't think of him and jared as being friends in any way shape or form or that like, he just entirely forgot jared's existence or something, and considering that jared felt like evan swept him aside once he didn't need him for Practical Purposes anymore, that would be a concern for him anyways. like evan might think that jared doesn't care a lot about him but tbh i think jared was dealing with that same concern re: evan too. and then also re the obvious Big Issue about the letter, its not hard to imagine jared would become a little bit more protective of evan once he got confirmation of what it was all about. "confirmation" because it's also not hard to imagine jared might be able to Suspect as soon as he read it after it was first posted, really

they both like to go outside at night sometimes for impromptu informal dates / just quality time together....sometimes that means going on a run at like 2am to gas station just to like get oreos or some drink they both want and just having a blast and making each other laugh a lot, sometimes it's more Peaceful like let's lay in the grass and stargaze or some shit

evan's the first to break out the serious "i love you." this is also one of those middle of the night occurrences but they're both awake enough that evan knows jared knows what he's saying and knows that he means it

it's 3:25am rn lord.......................so yeah that's uh several ideas. of course i could go on

[ladynorbert]

Hey ladynorbert!! This is your Wintersend secret Santa lady. I have been watching you from afar (in a totally non-creepy way I promise) and I've noticed you're a really avid writer. I would like to therefore make you an art. I know your fave pairing is Varric/Bethany, so I was wondering if you could write a little bit about why? And how you characterize Bethany in your head. I don't know much about them and DA2 is probably my least-played game. So anything you might share would be so helpful!

MY MOMENT HAS ARRIVED. SOMEONE ACTUALLY WANTS ME TO TALK ABOUT MY LOVE FOR THIS OTP. MANY APOLOGIES TO THE REST OF YOU BECAUSE THIS IS A SUBJECT ON WHICH I HAVE A LOT TO SAY AND RARELY GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY IT.

Let’s see, where do I begin?

[Editor’s note: With me, obviously. I’m right here.]

Ah yes, excellent point, voice in my head that never quite goes away.

Varric Tethras is a member of the Dwarven Merchants’ Guild, though not entirely by choice I suspect. He’s rich, he’s well-connected, he’s charming, he’s cultured. I am deeply attached to him because there are many things we have in common - we both had an alcoholic parent whose drunken rages were a defining part of our childhoods, we both write stories which are strangely well-received, we both prefer to be by the fire, we are both intensely loyal to those who have earned our loyalty, and we both like pretty much everybody until they give us a reason not to like them.

Varric has a very painful past for a number of reasons. The Tethras family was always, in many ways, more like a business than a family; his official biography (for the DA tabletop RPG) even says that his older brother Bartrand always treated him more like a colleague than a sibling. His father died when he was a toddler; his mother was a drunk; and his brother cared more about making money than anything. He had a torrid love affair with another dwarf, and Inquisition makes it clear that there’s still some lingering feeling, but she broke off the plan to elope and instead went through with the marriage her parents arranged for her. 

Basically, I feel like for years, all Varric knew about love was that it hurt you in one way or another. Then he met the Hawkes.

Bethany Hawke is the youngest of the three Hawke siblings. In the games where she survives the prologue, she’s already lost her father to the Blight and her twin brother to an ogre. She’s also an apostate mage, so she’s spent most of her life hiding from Templars and trying to conceal what she really is. Despite hardship and personal anguish, however, she’s an incredibly sweet, warm-hearted, generous person. (In games where she dies, Hawke tells Anders that Bethany never turned away anyone who needed her help.) If she goes to the Circle (which is where I always send her, because becoming a Grey Warden makes her miserable), she becomes highly regarded even by the Templars and is given a position of authority over younger student mages. 

She loves her family, she cares deeply for her friends, and she’s kind to practically everyone. As a result, she’s the only companion besides Varric who is liked by everyone else in Hawke’s personal circle. Even Fenris, who absolutely despises mages on principle, develops a strong affection for Bethany as well as respect for her mastery of her magic.

So that brings us to why do you ship it? Frankly, there’s so much ship tease inherent in their interactions that I have a hard time believing that the devs didn’t intend us to ship it. Here’s what I’ve observed.

1) Varric gives nicknames to everyone in his social circle (except Hawke and Aveline, and later the Inquisitor). By and large, these are either superficial (Blondie, Elf, Curly) or sarcastic (Tiny, Junior, Chuckles). Bethany’s is one of the few exceptions to that rule. Bethany’s nickname is Sunshine. It’s clearly affectionate.

2) Varric has several lines in which he talks about the sun. One of these is in a party banter with Bethany herself; she asks him about the Tethras family being Orzammar nobility, and he concludes his thoughts on the matter by saying that part of the reason he prefers the surface is because “it’s sunnier here”. He also tells Hawke, in a possible cutscene dialogue, that he was born on the surface and is perfectly happy about it because “Sunshine suits me just fine.” Plus, his final tarot card in Inquisition is literally The Sun. 

Sunshine is one of Varric’s favorite things. He named Bethany after something he loves.

3) When he first meets the Hawke siblings, Varric is very suave and charming toward Hawke because he wants Hawke to go along with his plan for the expedition. But when he starts talking to Bethany, his tone of voice changes. I don’t know how to explain it - he’s not quite flirting, but he’s damn close to it.

4) Varric snarks at everybody. Everybody. It’s just how he relates to people. But he’s never snarky toward Bethany. His voice is always full of fondness when he talks to her.

5) Bethany rarely laughs. But when she does, it’s either Hawke or Varric causing it - and her laugh for Varric sounds way more like a flirty giggle than anything.

6) If Bethany dies in the Deep Roads, Varric is devastated. I mean full-on crushed. (Props to Brian Bloom, because his voice acting brought me to tears. “Oh, Sunshine.”) And he continues to hate himself for years because of it… clicking on him during Act 2, which is set three years later, will sometimes prompt him to say “Poor Sunshine… Bartrand will pay for her death, I promise you.” 

7) Bring Varric and Bethany as companions for either/both of the DLC campaigns, then try to tell me that there’s not something there.

(a) Legacy has less flirting, probably because of the seriousness of the situation. Regardless of when it’s done, Bethany is so upset by what’s happened that it shows on her face. If the DLC is done in Act 1, Varric actually thinks she’s ill because she looks so upset, and he’s worried. If it’s done in 2 or 3 with Circle!Bethany, she’s understandably freaked out because the Carta actually attacked her in the Circle, and only the presence of Templars saved her. Varric’s remarks to her are soothing, reassuring, and a little bit teasing (which gets her to laugh). And even if it’s done with Warden!Bethany, there’s something there - he flat out tells her that it’s good to see her, and he’s the only companion toward whom she can’t be cold.

(b) Mark of the Assassin, though… bring Varric and Circle!Bethany. He straight up hits on her. First there’s this interaction where she’s fussing about her clothes.

“I can’t believe I wore this to the Chateau. Maker, what was I thinking?”

“That it’s the uniform of the Circle and you could make a burlap sack look good?”

“It’s hardly the height of fashion.”

“You would kill these people if you wore the height of fashion.”

Later, when they’re running around in the dungeons trying to find Hawke and Tallis, he makes a comment about the quickness of her stride. She quips back at him, rather playfully, and he says, “There’s my Sunshine.” That single line is spoken in absolutely the warmest and sweetest voice we ever hear him use in either game where he appears. 

8) In Act 1, after the Hawkes have reclaimed Grandfather Amell’s will, Varric has party banter in which he addresses Bethany as “Milady Sunshine” (making her giggle) and also “my lady.” Coupled with the “my Sunshine” line mentioned above, that’s a lot of possessive pronouns, Varric. She is literally the only character in any of the games whom he ever calls “my” anything other than “my friend.”

9) Like the rest of the DAII companions, Varric makes comments when someone falls in battle. If that someone happens to be Bethany, his reaction is very interesting. The line itself is a bit of gold - “Hold on, Sunshine, I’m coming!” - but the tone of voice is especially delightful. It manages to sound equal parts reassuring and really pissed off, like whatever took her down is going to pay dearly for touching her.

10) If she’s still alive in Inquisition, Varric has several lines in which he indicates that he writes to her frequently. He also has a very interesting line if Bethany went to the Circle and is still alive as of Inquisition; following the events of the quest “Here Lies the Abyss”, he may have party banter with Cassandra in which she inquires, “And Hawke’s sister - she’s still alive, isn’t she?” Varric’s response is to say, in a slightly hostile tone, “Better be!”

So why do I ship it? In shortest form, they are both generous people who give a lot to others. They both care a lot about other people, sometimes even when they know it’s not the wisest thing. Most of all, their interactions make it very clear that, romantically or otherwise, they genuinely love each other. Theirs is a warm, honest, mutually respectful relationship and I think that they could really be happy together in a healthy way. And after the amount of crap they’ve both survived, I really want them to be happy.

For more stuff like this, come to @sunny-stories - it’s the greatest boat in the history of boats.

Thank you so much for the ask, anon! I look forward to whatever beautiful gift you decide to craft for me - I’m sure I will love it!

[ali-maccrae]

Friday (All Day) Texts

Tags: Jordan Parrish, Alistair MacCrae When: Friday, obviously Where: On their phooones Notes: In which Jordan and Alistair spend all day texting each other to the detriment of, everything else. TW include general schmoopiness, corny jokes, brief mentions of death, inferno boners, and topeless library tours.

Jordan: One of the receptionists brought in cupcakes and they taste like chalk.

Alistair: Are they perhaps made of chalk? That could be why.

Jordan: If they were, the front steps of the Sheriff's Dept would have hopscotches all over them.

Jordan: And, you know, little truths like "Parrish is the best!" Written not by my hand.

Alistair: Of course not, that would be very egotistical. Although I thought it was already common knowledge that Parrish is the best. The other officers are simply green with envy.

Jordan: Believe it or not, I am not the favorite deputy of everyone in town. Every time I respond to the silent alarm at the bank, old Mrs. Borman tells me to go back to the strip club and she'll wait for the real police.

Alistair: I'm sorry, you fight crime AND strip? That is some intense multitasking. I am envious. Both of your ability and of all the people who get to see you make arrests in the nude. Mrs. Borman needs to hush up and enjoy what's given to her.

Alistair: That, sounded worse than I meant it to be.

Jordan: Wow, I had no idea you were so into stripping. But I mean, if you give nude library tours I should have guessed. Duly noted.

Jordan: Admittedly, I do not strip so much as just burn my clothes straight off my body. I'm hardcore.

Alistair: Topless Library tours. My pants stay on. At least for now, anyway. That seems intense, though. Doesn't that get expensive after a while? And I suppose that means I should avoid getting you clothes for holidays.

Jordan: Ah yes. Topless. My bad. ;) and by all means, the more clothes the better. They've already run out of deputy uniforms that fit me. It's a genuine problem.

Alistair: Is that why the ones you have hug your chest and butt so tightly? Not that I'm complaining, but that seems uncomfortable. I suppose I should include an industrial size bag of t-shirts and underwear with each gift. It looks like I'm taking shortcuts but really it comes from the heart.

Jordan: It IS uncomfortable. But we don't have it in the budget to order more. But seriously, why all the talk about presents? You don't have to get me anything. No one said you had to.

Alistair: Well I know I don't HAVE to. I'm sure if Lydia caught wind of me thinking about getting her any sort of gift she would try to head me off at the pass, so don't even. But days like birthdays and Christmas are a time to do things for other people. Particularly those we care about. Putting thought and effort into a proper gift is one of the best parts about the season. Too many people ask the receiver what they want and forgot about the reason why we do the thing. I mean, if you really feel uncomfortable with it I won't get you anything.

Jordan: It doesn't matter to me. I just don't want you feeling obligated to do things for me. That and I am really really bad at gift giving. Just saying, if you get a butter dish from me this year, just know that I panicked.

Alistair: Aww! A butter dish would be cute. Like a little call back to the day we baked cinnamon rolls together and you wanted to show me your butter trick.

Jordan: Not to brag or anything but you could fry an egg directly on my chest but I promise you, I don't use my body to cook.

Alistair: I'm honestly going to have to see that one to believe it.

Jordan: You know... that's probably a good method of temperature training and learning control. Much better than me constantly reheating my coffee by hand because I'm too busy to drink it.

Alistair: OH! Temperature training? That sounds really cool, actually. Can I be a part of this? I'll get a track suit and a whistle.

Jordan: Seriously? What if I burn you?

Alistair: I'll wear oven mitts.

Jordan: That's.... so.... cute.

Jordan: But seriously maybe consider a fireman's uniform.

Alistair: I'm cute, huh? And I'll consider it. I don't know where I would even get one of those. Maybe the army surplus stores will have something like that. Besides, burns never really last more than a day before they heal up, so it's not that big of a deal is it?

Jordan: Depends on the burn. Do you heal um... faster than average?

Alistair: Not that I know of. I haven't really thought about it before. Is that not normal for burns to heal that fast?

Jordan: They take a few days usually, and if they're severe enough, they'll leave a scar. I used to have a scar from a burn on my leg I got from a firework accident. It's gone now that I think about it which is weird. Do you not have any scars?

Alistair: I, do not, actually. Hold on, maybe.

Alistair: No, none that I can see. Although it's sort of hard to get the angles right in this mirror.

Jordan: Out of curiosity, where are you looking?

Alistair: On the back of my thigh, just under...well, it's a precarious spot and I don't THINK I see anything. I had an accident when I was younger and was in the hospital for a couple days. Come to think of it, I probably should have been there longer. There was a lot of blood and I remember screaming a lot.

Jordan: I think I'm willing to bet there is no scar.

Alistair: I have a super healing factor? So I'm like, Wolverine. Only less grumpy and hairy.

Jordan: I guess? ..which is comforting actually. Not you bleeding and screaming, obviously. The fact that you'll survive... well... me.

Alistair: We seem to make out okay. Takes a while for you to get any level of uncomfortable for me. Or, I assume anyway. You always pull away before that happens and then we just stare at each other for a while.

Jordan: I like staring at you.

Alistair: Careful, you're at work. If we get flirting too much you'll get one of those inferno boners.

Jordan: I'll squash it with a bite of chalky cupcake.

Alistair: It's flattering that I can even, DO that to you. Not the chalky cupcake, mind. But the other thing.

Jordan: Yeah, well, I've liked you for a while okay? The inferno boners weren't a problem until recently. As in back-to-Beacon-Hills recently.

Alistair: Is that because you were unsure I would reciprocate or because of the Yuki'onna? Or some combination thereof?

Jordan: The former I guess? I was alone in Vegas so they weren't a problem over there.

Alistair: On a spiritual journey in the desert to commune with the beast. It's almost poetic, in a way.

Jordan: When I came back to Beacon Hills I didn't plan any of this between us. I came back to help the people here. I learned how to burn brighter and stronger, not how to suppress. Imagine trying to read a book at night but instead of a flashlight you have a strobelight.

Alistair: That would be absolutely infuriating. Just thinking about it has me all irritated. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to complicate things. I liked you too, obviously, but I never actually planned on telling you that. And then you kissed me and, well...still, don't let me get in the way of your mission.

Jordan: Don't be mad at me. I'm still processing this. I never expected you to kiss me back. It was very selfish of me. You were just so beautiful with the plants and your eyes and you were in my head the whole time in Vegas. I'm a mess, I know. I'm sorry.

Alistair: Mad? Sometimes I hate text, it's so hard to convey feelings through them. Stuff like tone and meaning gets lost in translation. I'm not mad. I feel for you, actually. Shortly after you left, I sort of tumbled into a pit of fear and caused a small, green house tornado in the middle of the preserve. I attacked Stiles with a tree. It's likely not the same, but I feel like I can relate with something getting out of control. And I'm very glad that you kissed me. Besides, I get the feeling that the good deputy doesn't do too many selfish things. No harm done.

Jordan: I attacked Stiles, too. I'm not sure how he's still alive. I mean in general. The kid is a walking disaster. Don't feel bad for attacking him. At this point I don't think his dad blames anyone but Stiles himself. But I digress. I just want you to know that even though I didn't plan on kissing you, that I'm glad I did, too, even though its making me overthink things. It's good for me. To learn control. And who better than to learn it with you... right? Thank you for understanding.

Alistair: That poor child. It's a wonder he's managed to stay largely unharmed through most of what this town has been through. Maybe there's something to him too that just hasn't been discovered. Although I hope not. These kids deserve a normal life. Well, like I said, feel free to come to me with your over-thoughts. Perhaps I can aleve them a little. Although I have to give a very special thank you to your utility belt. Without it, I'm not sure what I would have done. AND I confess, a large part of wanting to help you allows me to see you in various states of undress.

Jordan: Well I am a stripper, remember. Can't let all those stripping classes go to waste.

Alistair: Training and a show.

Jordan: All in one, you know. The training is the show.

Alistair: How long have you known, if that's alright to ask? That you were attracted to men, I mean.

Jordan: It's fine. Since I was a teen and first joined the reserves before I went into the army. It's not something I advertise because of that, though. The people here are nice enough, but I'm here to protect them, not date them. So it just never came up. Until you.

Alistair: So, until you and I...you never? Were you just going to go through life alone? I mean, not to say I'm some sort of chosen one. I'm sure there would have been someone else.

Jordan: Nooo no. No. I dated a lot of girls in high school and there was someone in the army but our relationship was purely physical and in secret. And then I died. The closest I've ever come to having a connection with anyone was Lydia and that wasn't the same. Otherwise, if I'd been with someone, shouldn't I be able to control myself by now?

Alistair: I'm sorry, come again...you died?

Jordan: I'm not sure this is something I should be talking about through text messages... but yes. When I was deployed overseas. If anyone asks, I just say I was resuscitated.

Alistair: Oh, wow. A topic for next time we see each other, I guess? I'm glad you were resuscitated.

Jordan: I am too, actually. I wasn't sure how I felt about it for a long time... but I'm glad. Sorry for um, dropping that on you. I thought I told you when you found out about me.

Alistair: Mm, no. We didn't really have much time to talk about it. There was an angry snow spirit running amok. And your heat was all that was mentioned when you came over to hang out. I didn't really want to push or anything. Let you tell me on your own terms, you know?

Jordan: Okay then. Let me make up for being so difficult with you and you can come by my place and I'll explain everything. I'd rather it be there. It's been fireproofed.

Alistair: That's handy. I bet you like that. You're not being difficult. It's not like I'd given you a play-by-play of my own abilities when I discovered them.

Jordan: I wasn't around when you discovered them. I'd like to know more. I mean attacking Stiles with a tree? That's badass. I'm still reeling from what you showed me. Talk about a homecoming shock. When I left you were just coming to terms that Beacon Hills wasn't normal.

Alistair: Believe me, I'm still trying to come to terms with everything. Unfortunately this town doesn't really wait for you to get used to things.

Jordan: No... no it doesn't. That's why I was so happy to see you stayed here. I thought I would never see you again.

Alistair: If I left I would have tried to find you in Vegas.

Jordan: ....really?

Alistair: You left quite the impression, Deputy Parrish.

Jordan: That made me spill coffee all over my shirt. And this is the last clean uniform. Guess I'll smell like coffee all day. Thanks. ;P

Alistair: Sorry!

Jordan: Don't be. I like it when you catch me off guard like that.

Alistair: Even if you pour coffee and stain your last clean uniform?

Jordan: Yes. It's a reminder that I'm still me. I will ruin all of my uniforms with coffee if it means I get to experience that. Shock, you know? LIVE. Not just exist. I don't know. I'm not very good with words. That's why I've been hanging around this new librarian, see.

Alistair: Mmm, I see. I must say I'm surprised. I hear the new librarian is something of a clumsy doofus who couldn't find his own nose when asked. At least he's pretty, I guess.

Jordan: Clumsy? May I remind you who got flour all over your kitchen?

Alistair: So we're both clumsy. That should prove fruitful for our adventures.

Jordan: I don't know... you seem to find my mouth alright. Maybe you're not as clumsy as you think.

Alistair: Today I fell up the stairs.

Jordan: Were you carrying books?

Alistair: One.

Jordan: I concede. You're clumsy.

Jordan: Insert pickup line about me being there to catch you when you fall, then.

Alistair: ...

Alistair: That actually made me blush and, laugh a little.

Jordan: One of these days, instead of just referencing a pickup line, I'll actually use one on you.

Jordan: I don't know like, "Baby are you a tree? Because I just can't leaf you alone."

Alistair: That's incredibly corny of you.

Jordan: I can't help it. I'm nuts about you.

Alistair: You know, you'd think the desire to kiss you would go down eventually. But that's just not happening. Can't seem to find anything wrong with it.

Jordan: I hope I never stop wanting to kiss you.

Jordan: .......,,,,,,//////....mnbvc

Jordan: Sorry.

Jordan: Dropped my phone.

Alistair: Boss walked by?

Jordan: Nah. Nosey Officer Smith. He's been suspicious of me since I came back.

Alistair: No cupcakes for Officer Smith. Got it.

Alistair: I think we should meet up tonight. For a kissathon.

Jordan: I'd like that... I'll work on my pickup lines.

Alistair: The more corny, the better. Although it doesn't take much to make me blush, it seems.

Jordan: I know. Your ears get so red. Must be so exhausting... 🙂

Alistair: Do they really?!

Jordan: They do! Don't hide them. I know you're probably checking them right now.

Alistair: Shhh. No I'm not. You can prove nothing!

Jordan: Well, I mean, I guess you have to use your hands to text me at SOME point.

Alistair: Yes. I would cover them with my hands. And nothing else.

Jordan: Don't show up on my doorstep with a bag on your head. It's very difficult to kiss a paper bag.

Alistair: I'll cut a hole in it for ease of access.

Jordan: That's fine. I don't have to kiss your face.

Alistair: You wouldn't dare.

Jordan: Good luck getting a bag over those broad shoulders. I bet they're nice to kiss.

Alistair: You'll set fire to the bag.

Jordan: Only once it's off your head. And probably deliberately.

Alistair: I'll take my shirt off, and then you won't know what to do.

Jordan: Curses, foiled again.

Alistair: Victory is mine! If only I used a flag.

Jordan: My face hurts from smiling. It's not right for a deputy on duty to smile this much. People will think I love my job.

Alistair: Don't you love your job?

Alistair: Also I like it when you smile.

Jordan: I do love my job, actually, but people don't need to KNOW that.

Alistair: You love your job, helping people in your too-tight pants and coffee stained shirt.

Jordan: Best man for the job, that's what they tell me.

Alistair: The stripper.

Jordan: Hey, I worked hard for these abs.

Alistair: I should get you a boom box. Also, do you gym? We should gym together.

Jordan: I do a lot of outdoor workouts, but I occasionally hit the gym. I haven't been there since I came back.

Alistair: I usually only go in the middle of the night when no one is there. I don't fancy being watched.

Jordan: Can't always promise to make middle of the night appointments, but I can try.

Alistair: I mean, you don't have to. I'm not asking that. Maybe I could accompany you on your outdoor workouts.

Jordan: I want to... I'm just letting you know that if I say I'll be there and don't show, please don't think I'm standing you up. Sometimes it's just out of my hands.

Alistair: I understand, don't worry. Although maybe we should hold off on the gym until you can handle seeing me in tights without becoming a furnace. Not sure how we could explain away melted weight equipment.

Jordan: True. One step at a time. Like the world's slowest stripper.

Alistair: Oh, by all means, strip quickly on the outside workouts.

Jordan: Sorry if this seems out of the blue, but do you prefer pasta or stir fry? No reason.

Alistair: No reason at all, huh? I suppose it depends on the day. I love them both.

Jordan: You can only pick one. Those are the rules.

Alistair: Stir-fry, then.

Jordan: Beef, chicken, or vegetable?

Alistair: Mmm. Chicken. Can't go wrong with chicken.

Jordan: Good choice. Chicken is good. Do you drink wine?

Alistair: Honestly? No.

Alistair: But I have wine glasses from which I drink cran-apple juice.

Alistair: Makes me feel so high-class.

Jordan: I don't drink wine either. I actually don't keep any alcohol in the house. Flammable.

Jordan: But cran-apple is good. Cranberries are good for you.

Alistair: That makes a lot of sense. Good thing we won't have anything to lower our inhibitions with.

Alistair: It's very good for you, yes.

Jordan: Speaking of high-class. Are you going to the Recognition Dinner?

Alistair: Well, honestly, I wasn't planning on it. But it seems rude to refuse. But all those dinners...that money could have gone towards the town instead of maybe having people who are already hurting bid in an auction.

Alistair: Sorry, that's probably insensitive...

Jordan: I have to go as part of the force, even if I wasn't here when it all went down. But I sort of helped at the lacrosse game, so I guess they thought that counted for something. But I think it's to help with morale. And to bring in outsiders who want to help.

Jordan: I saw the devastation on the news in Vegas. The people there were concerned and wanted to help, too.

Alistair: Perhaps. That could help and it would be nice for others to have that opportunity.

Alistair: I suppose I'm just apprehensive because of what happened last time the entire town gathered.

Jordan: You're right. Staying home is probably safer. I'll definitely be there to protect the townspeople in case anything happens.

Alistair: That's true. With you there I'd feel so much safer.

Jordan: I wouldn't complain if I got to see you in a tux either, I'm just saying.

Alistair: Alright, you've convinced me.

Jordan: Does that mean you'll sit with me? Is that okay?

Alistair: Won't you be sitting with the force?

Jordan: I will but .... yeah, you're right. Unless I convince them to let the public servants sit together. The library is a public institution... that's not a far stretch right?

Alistair: If you can get them to do that, then yes. I'd like to sit next to you.

Jordan: I'll see what I can do. If not, I suppose I'll just have to bother you after dinner.

Alistair: As long as I get to see you, I suppose it can't be too bad.

Jordan: I feel a lot better about going knowing you'll be there. At least I'm not dreading it anymore.

Alistair: Aww, you were dreading it?

Jordan: Celebrating a victory I had no part in... seems like rubbing it in, to me. I don't think I belong there.

Alistair: You belong here.

Jordan: But not at a recognition dinner for something I didn't do. But you know, I belong there to recognize the people who WERE heroes that day. That's what I'll do.

Alistair: Like you said, you were there at the lacrosse game. You did your best. Pushed yourself to your limits until you couldn't take it any longer. You have just as much right as anyone else to be there. I mean, I was invited and all I did was run and help some people into a building.

Jordan: That's still helping! I'm sure you helped more with your bookstore and all. I mean, didn't Stiles and Scott break into it for that information? It's how we met, after all.

Alistair: Oh, that. No. They were breaking in to learn more about me because they thought I was suspicious.

Jordan: Oh. Jerks. And here I was about to thank them.

Alistair: Mmm. Thank them anyway. I don't think I would have gone to the police station otherwise.

Alistair: I thought someone had destroyed my store because, they knew.

Jordan: Knew what? What you are? You don't even know what you are.

Jordan: I've been using the term Plant Whisperer in my head.

Alistair: No. That, I'm gay.

Jordan: Oh.

Jordan: OH.

Alistair: Yes.

Jordan: I don't know how reassuring this is, but the amount of hate crimes Beacon Hills sees related to homosexuality are at zero. It's... a statistical outlier. But I understand. I couldn't say anything in the army for those exact reasons.

Alistair: That is, a little reassuring. But they said the same thing about LA.

Alistair: Then again, you're a cop. Your credibility is much more substantial.

Jordan: I've never had a call for one at least. But I've only been here a few years.

Alistair: Anyway. The dinner. Should I go with the traditional tux or the navy blue one I have?

Jordan: I want to say navy blue because of your eyes.

Alistair: Blue one it is.

Jordan: I also want to say that I'm incredibly happy you're gay because otherwise things would be very unrequited and I would be sulking a lot.

Jordan: And also that my shift will be ending soon and I've barely worked today.

Alistair: I'm very happy I'm gay too because that would have been awkward if I wasn't. And I probably would have been kissing you anyway to try and get you to smile.

Alistair: That's alright. I've barely done anything. Lydia has had enough of me.

Jordan: Yeah... I keep keeping you from opening that library. At this rate it'll never reopen.

Alistair: More topless tours for you. Maybe even a pantsless one.

Jordan: Will there be a paper bag with a convenient hole cut it in for the pantsless one?

Alistair: Yes, but not in the usual place.

Jordan: Good. That's what I was going for.

Alistair: You know, we talk about seeing each other naked but I'm not sure we'll ever get around to it.

Jordan: I kissed you a few days ago. Patience. You'll make me think you only want me for my body

Alistair: I'm perfectly okay with taking things slow, actually.

Alistair: Call me a sucker for the romantic cliches.

Jordan: That makes two of us.

Alistair: I'm basically a Disney Princess. Especially now apparently I can make things grow. Five bucks says I can communicate with woodland creatures through song.

Jordan: I'll take that bet. And if I lose, it's like paying five bucks for a concert.

Alistair: You just want to see if I can sing.

Jordan: I do, actually. I'm very curious, now.

Alistair: Anyway, you're coming to pick me up soon, yes?

Jordan: Yeah. Give me an hour to get at least one thing done at work and I'll text you when I'm on my way.

Alistair: Alright. I'll use that hour to actually get something done here too.

Alistair: Sorry. I don't have a car.

Jordan: I usually drive the squad car, even in plainsclothes. That okay?

Alistair: More than.

Jordan: Okay. Putting my phone down and letting it charge. I'll see you soon.

Alistair: I look forward to it. 💗

[metawitches]

  “Warning: This show contains feminine subject matter including teenage diaries, breast feeding, tampons, shadow puppets, pantyhose, menstrual cycles, slumber parties, menopause and maxi pads.”

Yep, this show comes with a warning label. Metamaiden and I can’t seem to escape daring female theater this fall, though Girls Only is only edgy if you get squeamish during random conversations about the topics in the warning label. Since the lone guy in the audience, who was sitting next to Metamaiden, left during intermission, I guess the label is warranted. I saw the house manager whispering in his ear before he left, probably warning him about the ramped up female content in the second half.

But, let’s go back to how we ended up at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, again, walking to a show alongside all of the little Elsas and Annas who were seeing Frozen across the sidewalk.* It was a whirlwind 24 hour overnight trip. Mr Metawitches had decided to go to a Denver concert by Company of Thieves, one of his favorite bands, who are on a reunion tour. Metamaiden and I decided we’d tag along. I’d been eyeing Girls Only on the DCPA website, and this was the perfect opportunity to catch it. More on the concert at the end.**

It was worth the time spent in airports to get there. This was a fabulous, hilarious show!

Girls Only is an improv/variety show written and performed by two Denver artists, Linda Klein and Barbara Gehring. They originated the show in 2008 in Denver, and have been performing it around the country since then. Set in a typical young teenage girl’s bedroom circa the early 80s, the show is loosely organized around readings from the performers’ real teenage diaries. They elaborate on their diary entries with more of their own true life stories, which most women will be able to relate to. The diary sketches alternate with written comedy sketches, short films, a shadow puppet show, song and dance numbers, improv sketches, and audience participation. Because of the changing nature of the improv and audience participation parts, every show will be different.

It’s wacky, warm and wonderful. The focus is on what we as women all have in common, from childhood crushes to menopause. The duo start the show sitting on the bed, underneath a Shaun Cassidy poster, in just their bras and panties, looking through bra catalogs. They bring us into the conversation, mocking the models silly facial expressions and the unrealistic claims made by bra manufacturers.

Gehring and Klein put on more clothes before long, but they’ve allowed us to see their vulnerabilities right from the start, and that, combined with the lack of men in attendance, allows the audience to feel safe and open up. The laughs were loud, long, and well-deserved.

The bedroom set is remarkably well-used by the actors, who are two girls putting on a show, after all. There’s a small video screen on the right, and just enough room in the center of the stage for dance numbers. A closet in the back serves as the dressing room for multiple quick costume changes, and for the inside of the shadow puppet theater. The ladies race back and forth throughout the audience for various improv and audience participation bits, including an impromptu “just because” shower thrown for an audience member, complete with a condom as a shower gift, supplied by the audience.

Another bit involved the required puberty talk in the gym that all 5th/6th grade girls are subjected to. This one was given by two students, wearing the school uniform (see the top right photo). They regaled us with song, dance, cheers, and personalized advice for certain audience members. Some people just won’t listen. 😉

The second half of the show got even racier. My favorite was the craft corner, since I went through menopause myself not long ago. The crafters shared ideas for the pads and tampons we older ladies no longer have a use for, but still have hanging around the house. Examples include: as an eye mask, stuck to shoe bottoms to mop the floor, use a tampon to replace a wine cork (might have to try that one), tampon hanging by its string as a cat toy, decorate a maxi pad with essential oils as a sachet, and tampon turned into an angel Christmas tree ornament (for sale in the lobby after the show- for reals).

For the grand finale, Gehring and Klein put on panty hose. While dancing to the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker Suite. In unison. Slowly. It’s a panty hose ballet. It’s a thrilling, exciting adventure, as you wait for the panty hose to run, or for them to realize they’ve pulled the first leg up too far to be able to get the second foot in. If you’ve ever worn panty hose, you know what I mean. This is why the guys can’t be there. I tried to explain to my husband why it was so hilarious, and his eyes glazed over after the first sentence. But the camaraderie in a room full of a couple hundred women was life-giving.

Both women are multi-talented performers, with many years of experience in comedy, improv, writing, and acting. I salute them for appearing in only their underwear, something normal, middle-aged women are discouraged from doing live. These two not only appear nearly naked, they run and sing and dance and are generally goofy, the way anyone would be at a girls-only slumber party. They take us back to the time when we were still (mostly) confident girls, who hadn’t yet learned to worry about how every detail of our appearance and speech would be viewed by men others.

Gehring and Klein work together seamlessly during the improv skits, whether it’s creating and singing a new song during the shower, or discussing items they’ve randomly pulled out of purses borrowed from the audience. They make light of their height difference during the dance numbers, playing it for good-natured laughs.

This show is by and about two good friends sharing some of their girlhood secrets with each other and the audience. The warmth and humor that they feel toward each other and their childhood selves carries through the show and out into the audience. It left me with a happy glow, like I’d just spent an evening with some of my best, silliest, most endearing girlfriends.

Girls Only runs through 10/22/17 at the Galleria Theatre in the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. For information on other shows, visit the Girls Only website. The website also has fun ideas for hosting your own Girls Only night. Here’s a drink recipe and a party game to get you started:

Pink Panties (an audience favorite!) 1 oz. Chambord Fill remainder of flute with Champagne and garnish with a lemon peel.

Pass Your Purse: All ladies should sit in a circle with their purse. Then, everyone pass the purse two people to the left. Look in the purse you received and pull out the most humorous item you find and make up the best reason you can think of for her to be carrying the item around in her handbag. Go around the circle so everyone has a turn.

Then, pass the purses two more people to the left. Reach inside and pull out the one item in the purse that most represents its owner and tell why.

The gals threw special tampons to the audience at the end of the show as party favors. I caught one. It better not mean that I’m the next one to get my period.

    *Several were dressed in black. I have an evil sense of humor and find this hysterical. (If you don’t understand why, you must not have slogged through my Frozen reviews. I wasn’t happy with the way Elsa and Anna’s character’s were weakened in the adaptation.)

**Mr Metawitches is secretly the coolest member of the family and a music snob. He’s been a fan of the alt rock band Company of Thieves since 2009. This was his 4th time seeing them, in 4 different cities on both sides of the country. He says the band was energetic enough to power a city. They’re still awesome and even more intense than they were back then. Here’s a photo of the lead singer, Genevieve Schatz.

Girls Only photos from the Girls Only website, except the programs photo, which is by Metawitches

  Girls Only: The Secret Comedy of Women (Denver) Review "Warning: This show contains feminine subject matter including teenage diaries, breast feeding, tampons, shadow puppets, pantyhose, menstrual cycles, slumber parties, menopause and maxi pads."

[fydk-translations]

161130 Kyungsoo interviews - part five

part one, two, three, four

[some previously translated questions/answers have been omitted]

Q. Dooyoung acquires his disability, losing his sight. Even veteran seniors find it hard to act visually impaired.

It would be impossible for me to understand what it’s like to be visually impaired. But I hoped to be able to relate, even if only a little. I looked around for a way to and found a center that could let me experience it. It was helpful and really amazing. I always go to sleep listening to music with the volume at one bar. It’s almost inaudible when my eyes are open, but that one bar turned deafening. Small sounds would wake me up. I tried to reflect that in acting.

Q. I just had the sudden thought that for you, your hearing must be your most developed sense. Do you have a particularly sharp sense?

Although singing is my career, my hearing isn’t the best. But I do think everyone hears things differently.

Q. Really? When I see musicians, they’re very sensitive about their speakers. They spend a lot of money on particular earpieces too. Supposedly it’s for the difference in sound quality.

To be sensitive to those differences... gifted people? (all laugh) People with perfect pitch would be able to tell the difference, but I can’t. I think each person has their own way of listening to music. Someone may hear the melody first, or the lyrics, or the voice.

Q. What do you hear first?

I never hear the lyrics. If I don’t read the lyrics booklet, the words won’t register. I hear the melody first. Then the singer’s voice and how they vocalize. 

Q. How did you see Dooyoung while you acted as him?

I have a brother who is three years older than me. I thought of how we actually were as brothers while acting for the second half. Dooyoung shutting himself off emotionally from his brother in the first half also was a little relatable for me. When I was little, I had a lot of boundaries.

Q. In the past? Have those boundaries lessened since then?

I’m a lot better about it now. I used to never talk about myself. But I met people who are dear to me, and as I came to trust them my heart opened up a lot.

Q. You could also say that when you were young, you were someone others needed because you would listen to them. 

Yes. I did that too.

Q. The people dear to you are the hyungs that you’re close to, aren’t they? 

Yes. Jo Insung sunbae is like a real older brother to me. Kwangsoo hyung also takes good care of me and thinks of me warmly. And I have so many things to learn from Ha Jungwoo sunbae, who I’m currently filming with. He’s such a figure in the field, and each line he says is so layered to me. I’m studying a lot.

Q. How was Jo Jungseok and working with him on Brother?

We met for the first time through this project, but he seemed so familiar to me. Like I’d known him a long time ago. We also heard we looked alike often on set. Both of us have dark eyebrows (laughs). Maybe the familiarity is because we’ve had similar lived experiences? We’re both the youngest in our families. When I was acting as a bright character for Be Positive, I thought of Jungseok hyung a lot. What I’d learned from watching him was a huge help. I even wondered at how much I’d been influenced by Jungseok hyung.

Q. You seem to be taking after your hyungs a lot. And you seem to be good at picking up from others.

I think if someone is older than me, then I will have something to learn from them. And someone younger will have things to teach me too. I’ve enjoyed singing along with songs ever since I was little - this is something similar. When the hyungs have something to say they have my full attention, although I do have selective hearing (laughs).

Q. That’s a relief (laughs). Is there any rule to selective hearing?

Shouldn’t selective hearing come naturally? (laughs) There are no rules to it. Though sometimes the hyungs have a hard time too. Then I should be there to listen to and support them.

Q. We’ve talked about your hyungs a lot. So how are you as a hyung to others?

I’d like to ask that to my dongsaengs. “What kind of hyung am I to you?” (laughs)

Q. Are you different when in front of your hyungs and your dongsaengs?

I think so. Since I’ve learned from the hyungs by their example? I should preserve their example for my dongsaengs.

Q. Which hyung shows his true self often in front of his dongsaengs? (laughs)

I think everything gets out (laughs). Who they are on the whole.

Q. [So] do their flaws show too?

The hyungs, they don’t have any flaws!

Q. Hey, no way (laughs).

Well, they do but-! (all laugh) They’re really good hyungs. They take care of me, consider me. I try to return what they’ve given me by doing the same for my dongsaengs.

Q. I wonder - you probably caused a stir among EXO fans with your bathhouse scene in Brother. Ah, there was even collarbone (all laugh).

Ehahahaha. Why again? (laughs) I really don’t want to take my clothes off on stage. (laughs) I was shirtless for Brother because we were in a bathhouse, but I wasn’t too concerned about that. The emotions in that scene were too important. This was Dooyoung’s first occasion having an honest exchange with his brother, so I wasn’t really thinking about not having a shirt on. Though I worked out a lot to keep in character. When we filmed the bathhouse scene, I did have abs. Although I have a pudge now (laughs).

Q. You’re in the same agency as Choi Minho, whose movie Derailed is opening within a week of yours. In Derailed, he acts as the leader of a thieving group. It seems he broke free of his image for it; do you wish to do the same?

Whether I do succeed would have to depend on the person watching. But I think I could do well as a character who smokes. In my own eyes. Um... (thinks for a moment, then abruptly) would that seem awkward? Would a character like that be too different for me?

Q. Idols who have scenes where they drink or smoke aren’t thought of differently for it. And there’s no law stopping an idol from either of them. Some idols seem like they know how to have fun (laughs). Although, as for you - it’s true you have quite the proper image even within EXO. In that case, it could be a change for you. But if you believe you can, it won’t seem awkward.

If that’s so, then I’ll give it a shot! (laughs) Even while we were filming Brother, I thought that I’d like to try a character like Dooshik. A character who drinks and smokes and swears! I don’t wish to be confined to one image. I’d like to act as a variety of characters.

Q. In a way, you already were quite different as Hwandong in Be Positive to watching fans. You were throwing a lot of aegyo at your father and such.

That scene was hard but really fun. I’d like to think that I pulled out all the sides I don’t usually show, or things that were there inside but never expressed before, for Be Positive. I’d only played darker characters before, and I was so happy while acting for Be Positive. I realized this is what having a ‘bright energy’ was like. I have a new taste for bright characters because of it.

Q. We see Dooyoung when he is weak from refusing food and drink after his accident, although he does overcome that. How are you in the face of hardship? There are people who get stronger from it.

A. I think I lean towards getting stronger from it. I think about that constantly - even if it’s hard, you will grow that much more from it. Where there’s dark, there’s light; I trust that they’ll complement and build on each other.

Q. Wow, you have a positive attitude.

A. (laughs) I try to be optimistic.

Q. How should I say this - when I compare you to how you were when we met for Unforgettable, you seem much more at ease.

A. Back then, I was really... really nervous (laughs). I still get very nervous about meeting with journalists or press conferences. I get cold sweat and my head goes white. And I can’t give answers correctly. I should get over it...

Q. Even the most veteran actors were once nervous for their first projects.

A. Really? But excluding me, no one seems to get nervous. And everyone speaks so well too.

Q. Experience with age? (laughs) But you get that nervous for press conferences even when you dance for audiences as large as you do?

A. I think they’re different. When I’m singing or dancing on stage, I’m not trying to convey my own thoughts. It’s following a script in a way, isn’t it? Like acting, I think. I don’t get nervous while acting either. But that’s why I don’t speak at press conferences or showcases. I do my best to stay still (laughs).

Q. Your satisfaction meter with life seems to be quite high right now, although I don’t know if that’s actually the case.

A. It sincerely is! If there were a satisfaction meter, it would have burst. I’m very happy right now.

Q. What’s the source of your happiness?

A. I don’t think there have been many personal hardships for me lately because the people close to me are happy. So I am as well.

source: biz enter | translation: fydk

[babystuffs]

Which guidance should follow a new mom

Give the gift of time

Along with a new baby comes sleep deprivation and the inability for a new mom to do many things for herself without a level of forethought and planning that would make her laugh in disbelief (if she wasn’t so exhausted). Offering to simply come to a new mom’s house and sit with her newborn while she takes a nap, showers, or eats a meal goes a long way to help her feel human again. “The nicest thing someone did for me after I had my son was come to my house and watching him while I took a nap,” says April, 34, says of an act of kindness she experienced after giving birth. “She washed dishes and did some laundry for me.” It might seem like an insignificant gesture to offer to watch a newborn (who will likely be sleeping) for an hour, but to a new mother, the gift of time to take a few moments to herself is something to cherish.

Bring her favorite food to her hospital bed

Most of the time people who want to help will bring food to the new family’s home once they’ve been discharged from the hospital. But the new mom might appreciate meals brought to the hospital even more, especially if she’s had a C-section and has to stay for a few days. Hospital food can be less than appetizing, and having some familiar comfort food on hand can make the transition to motherhood a bit more palatable. Jane, 34, noting her family’s thoughtfulness, says, “My mom brought me a full Korean meal to eat right after giving birth, and both my mom and mother-in-law let me nap as much as possible when they were with me.” Tia, 33, reflects, “My aunt brought subs for everyone while I was in labor and set some aside for me. It was awesome because you’re so hungry after giving birth. I had a sandwich before I left the delivery room. Best sandwich of my life!” (Here’s what else no one tells you about giving birth.) Every new mother is different, of course, so be sure to ask ahead of time what would be the most helpful to the family. Related Articles : https://www.newmomstuff.com

Set up a meal schedule

For some new mothers (okay, every new mother), cooking a meal is the last thing on her mind upon coming home. Cooking food likely doesn’t enter back into the equation of life for at least a few weeks after giving birth, and thoughtful family and friends understand this. Technology has made it easier than ever to support a new family with meals, with sites such as takethemameal.com and mealtrain.com, which allow an organizer to schedule meals to be provided by others for a set amount of time. Char, 31, recalls how helpful this was to her, saying, “We joined a church about three months before I gave birth. Even though we didn’t know people very well, they had meals scheduled to be delivered to us each day for two weeks after our baby was born. We were just taken aback by this. This helped a ton because we were trying to survive new babyhood and also entertain our almost five year old who still had to go to school.”

Clean something

Your comfort level with this task will definitely depend on your relationship to the new mom in question, but chances are cleaning something during your visit will be greatly appreciated. Dishes and laundry don’t stop simply because a baby is on the scene, and things can pile up quickly. You can help a new mother through this stressful, yet joyous time by doing a bit of housework while you visit, without waiting to be asked first. Meredith, 35, recalls the kind act of a childless friend, saying, “My friend came over a few days after we were home. She brought a meal for me and immediately went into my kitchen and started doing dishes. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was so unexpected but so appreciated.” Jennifer, 35, got an incredible gift from her father-in-law, recalling, “My father-in-law had a professional cleaning person come in and clean our home top-to-bottom while I was in the hospital. I’m talking blinds and windows, everything.” While there are some circumstances in which cleaning something might not be appropriate, it’s an incredibly kind gesture that is always worth offering.

Go the extra mile to make her feel special

Some girlfriends know just how to make a new mom feel special, and what that entails will be unique to each mom and situation. For Jamie, 34, that meant a meal made of farm fresh ingredients. She recalls, “One of my best friends came over and made me a delicious brunch with ingredients she’d just picked up from the farmer’s market. Then she cleaned my kitchen. She was my favorite person for quite a while after that.” The gift of time with a touch of thoughtfulness can mean far more than anything purchased, and will still be appreciated long after the newborn phase is over.

Think of how to make life easier for her

After a baby is born, leaving the house can feel like an impossible task. Just preparing to get out the door requires getting two people ready, and packing a diaper bag and a change of clothes (for her and baby—projectile spit-up isn’t pretty). It can feel overwhelming. That’s why ordering diapers and wipes online to be delivered to her home is an incredible help. Heather, 37, said, “Since I was recovering from awful complications post-delivery, my coworkers all went in on a Peapod gift card for me, so I could order groceries online and have them delivered. So nice!” Offering to go grocery shopping for a new family is another way to ease the burden of taking care of daily tasks that can be hard to do with an infant. Before you grocery shop online, read these tips first.

Make a basket of household essentials

Many people put gift baskets together for a new baby—with bottles, pacifiers, and cute outfits. But what about adding some practical items and treats in there too? Life gets crazy with a new baby in the house, and let’s be honest, sometimes toilet paper gets forgotten at the store when a hungry baby is wailing for you to hurry home for a nap. Putting together a basket of household items like paper products (tissues, toilet paper, paper towels, paper plates, and disposable cutlery), diapers and wipes, and one of mom’s favorite treats (chocolate, of course!), can help take the pressure of running errands off her shoulders and allow her to relax a bit more. Consider adding in some gift cards for a restaurant with delivery service, to reserve your place in her life as most thoughtful friend. (Find out every mom’s hidden superhuman strengths.)

Do a text and drop

Sometimes the best gift to a new mom is one that is given with the understanding that she needs time alone with her new family. Consider making an easy-to-grab breakfast food like muffins, and picking up her favorite magazine to drop at her doorstep. Often times something as simple as a magazine that she loves is a gentle reminder that not everything about her life is unrecognizable now that she’s a mother. Simply send her a text message to let her know that a surprise is waiting on her doorstep, and know that this small act of kindness will be met with appreciation, and most likely, motivation to one day pay it forward. Best new mom gifts : https://www.newmomstuff.com/babys-first-christmas-gift-ideas

Offer to entertain siblings

For siblings of the new baby, the newborn phase can be difficult to navigate, and can bring feelings of jealousy and loss to the surface. You can help a new mom by helping to fill the gap of attention for the other children that a new baby can create. Elizabeth, 33, had a family member that stepped in when she had unfortunate post-birth complications. She said, “My brother, sister-in- law, and her family, watched both of my boys for eight days when I was re-admitted back into the hospital. I will be forever grateful that they could all take the time out of their lives to watch my babies so I could focus on getting better.” While most circumstances won’t require a lengthy babysitting gig, taking the siblings for a walk to the playground, a movie, or just out to ice cream, can give the new parents a break to focus on their new baby.

Offer to get her out of the house

Even though a new mom might be hesitant to leave her baby with others, offering to do something like take a walk with her (and baby if she prefers) can be a wonderful way to break up the monotony of life with a newborn. Fresh air and light exercise can go a long way toward giving a new mom the energy and renewed motivation she needs to make it through another sleepless night with a fussy baby. Once she’s outside in the light of day, she will likely be grateful to have someone in her life willing to think outside the box to help her adjust to motherhood. Be sure to keep the outing short and let her set the pace.

[fireballofinsanity]

Sinera?

Send me a Ship and I’ll Break Them DOWN

(Ahhh thank you nonnie

How did they they meet? Sera legit snuck into Sin’s room in the middle of the night. XD It’s a long story, but pretty much Sera got herself trapped on palace grounds late her first night in Sindria, and rather than get herself thrown in a dungeon for trespassing she stuck herself in a tree. Said tree had a branch right outside Sin’s window and let her overhear his stomach growling, because he skipped dinner that night to work, and after sneaking in (read: Breaking and entering) to both palace grounds and Sin’s bedroom when he was sleeping for four nights to leave him baked goods, he caught her like a thief. XD Somehow still ended up friends~

Who developed romantic feelings first? I believe it was Sera- At least, she realized them first. Sin had to pretty much have it shoved in his face and wonder why he missed her not being beside him whenever she was away before he realized “Hey, maybe it’s love- …Welp.”

Who is their biggest “shipper?” Sera’s attendant, Thana, several people in town she befriended, the captain who owns the ship that brought her to Sindria, and probably Sharrkan. XD

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? Depends on the kiss? Sin’s been peppering her hands, sometimes her forehead or the tip of her nose with little pecks whenever he’s happy for as long as they’ve known each other, pretty much. They even had a couple of random “Why did I do that?” kisses, one of which happened when she first saw him in equip and neither had any idea why they went for it. But the first real, romantic kiss happened when she was upset with him and trying to stay away to keep her feelings bottled up, overworked herself to the point of exhaustion, and he realized he loved her and wanted to tell her. It ah… Predictably didn’t go as romantically as he’d probably hoped.

Who confessed their feelings first? Sin, surprisingly? Sera believed he could never love someone like her and still at the time saw herself as the ‘street trash’ he was taking care of, so she kept her mouth closed on it. Sin wasn’t about to hesitate anymore when he realized.

What was their first official date? Oh gosh- Probably a dinner date in the palace gardens? Being king, Sin couldn’t get away that much, at least not without the risk of injury from Ja’far, so more often than not they stuck to the palace. Unofficial was probably the night he took her out to buy her a whole new wardrobe.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates? Totally not a problem? Sera’s more quiet during them, though, because nine times out of ten, they’re Sin’s friends/allies and people she doesn’t know, and she’s not interested in messing things up for him. Sin usually tends to catch on and makes sure she’s comfortable while still enjoying their company/keeping company entertained, with little touches to her arm, a quick kiss to the hair or cheek, an arm around her waist-

What do they do in their down time? Depends on the day and the weather. Sailing is a favorite pastime, cuddling, going for a walk around Sindria, shopping, gardening, training- Pretty much anything that comes to mind.

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like? Pretty epic because it never happened~!

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it? Uhhh- If I remember right it was Sera’s insecurities? She couldn’t understand what Sin saw in her (and still doesn’t sometimes, but it’s rare now) and fussed and worried a lot more, especially over her not being right for him compared to his track record, causing a few minor to moderate fights. They actually sat down and talked about it- It took a while but she’s moved past those insecurities with his help and grown from it.

Which one is more easily made jealous? Pretty even~

What is their favourite thing to get to eat? Can I just be lazy and say fish? XD Sindria, as an island country, has a lot of fish. Sin’s favorites are fish dishes, and Sera’s gonna eat anything put in front of her. Though ranking up there is also chocolate and candy-

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position? Sera is a bit more cuddly than Sin at any given time, but he’s not far behind. As for a favorite position, they tend to just go for whatever comes to mind at the moment, but spooning is a favorite (and usually one of the ways they commonly fall asleep) and her sitting on his lap, too.

Are they hand holders? Definitely.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances? Ohgosh- It’s been a while rp-wise, but novel-wise it was the day after their first real kiss and confessions, which were repeated that morning, so it took them a year on either front, give or take? But that’s for actual relations- For that year they’d known each other, they shared a bed pretty often as friends, whether it be “I just had a nightmare, can I sleep with you/can you come back to my room” or Sera hanging out with him all day and nodding off before she could leave. Regardless of how he ends up in the mornings, friendly ‘sleepovers’ were pretty normal.

Who tops? SIN- Sera loves it XD She does too, but nowhere near as much- That’s something Sin gets more often than not XD

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into? Worst first? Battle, I’m going to say. Sin got caught up in battle and Sera, being the protective one she is, rushed into it headfirst and unarmed (and untrained, they’d not talked about her learning swordsmanship yet) with the intent to help. It forced Zepar-equiped Sin to briefly control her to get her off the battlefield and into safety, and also caused a fight when she realized what he’d done. Needless to say, she’s not a fan of Zepar OR tinkering with someone’s mind after that, and Sin’s never done it again… But probably won’t hesitate to if the situation arises again, if it means her safety.

Who does the shopping and the cooking? Staff. XD Actually, Sera, despite being adamant she needs nothing, enjoys shopping, and regularly spoils Sin, their friends, and their family, and Sin usually follows suit, but his gifts require less money a lot of the time and more “This shell made me think of you”, which always makes her heart skip a beat. As for cooking, I’ve said it a million times, Sera’s allowed to bake, but NEVER cook if you value your kitchen. XD She can make pancakes, that’s it. XD Sin will sometimes cook for them, but not often.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? Both? Maybe Sera a little more- She likes to clean and straighten things up, so she’s always organizing things. Sin’s pretty good with it too, but when he’s overly tired, had a REALLY bad day, or just too interested in something else, he tends to drop his clothes and vessels wherever on his way to the bed. Sera never has a problem with this- They just get picked up later.

Who proposes? Sin~!

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? Both, methinks- Sin got taken out by the guys and Sera spent some time with the girls, but otherwise they had a joint party with all of Sindria.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? The entirety of the eight generals. XD

Big Ceremony or Small? Relatively small- They had their wedding spur of the moment (as in they decided they didn’t want to wait anymore and would do it the next day), and at dawn to boot, so it really only involved those they personally told because of the rush. The rest of the country got involved later in the day for a literally week-long reception that the couple wasn’t even really there for XD

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  Yep! They took off to one of Sindria’s outlying islands for some time alone and to explore the villages there. …Nobody said they did much exploring, tho…

Do they have children? How many? They do~! As of now they have five children together- Shayan, Amestris,twins Badr and Esra, and Faron. Someone remind me to drabble the births of everyone but Shai plz x.x

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

A little more than 2 years ago I came to the realization that my decade long career in game design was likely coming to an uncerimonious end.  Times had changed.  Both from a personal standpoint (family, kids) and an industry standpoint (shift to differing business models.)  These observations led me to compose what was essentially my career obituary in a blog post here titled "Death of the Game Designer."  (linked below)

http://ift.tt/1IF7AJj

It was a blog that garnered WAY more attention and reaction than I ever expected.  Many readers reached out to me personally and shared similar stories regarding the challenges folks face in the gaming industry.  Challenges such as being typecast or experiencing ageism.  Some folks seeing their job shipped overseas.  Others relating to layoffs and the difficulties in finding work again.  Many, including myself, asked the big question:  WHAT'S NEXT?  Do I continue?  Is it time to move on?  If so, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

When you've lived the game dev dream, when you see the end coming, when this industry is all you know but you feel like it has turned its back on you, what do you do for a second act?  IS there a second act?  After all, having "Ace Systems Designer" or "Badass Level Designer" aren't exactly skills that'll land you what I call "real" jobs (you know, cooks, doctors, truck drivers and the jobs I'm REALLY thankful others do.)  

We all come to these crossroads at times in our lives.  The stakes are high.  Families depend on us.

Be encouraged.  Other avenues for game designers DO exist and I'm proud to say that 2 years after my "Death" as a formal game designer, I'm living my second life as a Game Design TEACHER.......and I couldn't be happier.

Last summer, here on the Gamasutra job boards, I found a posting for a "Video Game Design Teacher" for a new program starting up for High School kids out in Bakersfield, CA.  

I was intrigued by the idea of going the education route.  I was intrigued by the idea of staying "in" game design, while not beholden to all I disliked about the gaming industry.  I was intrigued by the altruistic idea of impacting young people (in a way that DIDN'T leave them poor....I'm looking at YOU for-profit institutions looking to make a buck off young folk hopes and dreams), and I was intrigued by the idea of building a stable home life for my family.

This opportunity in Bakersfield (home of oil, agriculture, and the WORST air quality in all of America) certainly didn't FEEL like much of an opportunity at all when I went for my on-site interview.  Let's just say Bakersfield isn't known to harbor a lot of wealth and the surrounding areas (and the school itself) didn't exactly look like Silicon Valley.  

Impressed by the school's administration and the prospects of building a game design program from the ground up, I took the job.  So here I am.....in Bakersfield, CA.....where no gaming industry currently exists.

PROGRAM LINK

http://ift.tt/2mb7qQZ

PROGRAM PROMO VIDEO

[embedded content]

(As you can see in this video thumbnail, excitement in class is palpable.  Settle down, kids.  Settle down.)

I teach 2 classes daily.  Each 3 hours long.  I've been on the job for about 120 days nows and have info, thoughts, etc. to share for those thinking of making a similar transition out of the game dev trenches:

Expect a Pay Cut

This shouldn't come as a surprise.  Especially for anyone who has accumulated some time in the industry and has built up a Senior level of expertise or above.  If you're looking to make a transition out of your current position, there's a good chance you'll take a cut in pay.

Expect a Better Schedule

On the flip side of the expected pay cut, expect a better schedule.  No more of these shenanigans...

[embedded content]

Since I left the gaming industry proper, my life has gotten 10-fold better.  I know what to expect when I get to work.  I know what hours I'm going to be there.  I know when I'm getting home.  My family and I have family dinners now.  I know, it's strange huddled around a home-cooked meal with your loved ones as opposed to rushing to the break room before that last slice of Canadian bacon is claimed, but hey, I'm good with that.  Did I mention being a dad is pretty cool too?  Highly recommended.  

Expect Additional Expenses

With any career transistion, I think it's fair to say some expenses are inevitable, but I had no idea to what extent.  To move into education, I had to move (an expected expense.)  I also had to buy some new clothes (my typical t-shirt / shorts get-up ain't exactly educational attire.)  I ALSO had to sign up and take a bunch of teacher credentialing courses required by the state of California.  Those don't come cheap!  And the credentialing coursework sucks away much of one's weekend.  We're not talking "GAME DEGREE!!!!" level of college theivery here.....the expense IS manageable....just not desired.

Expect To Learn

Through TEACHING, you actually come to know the subject matter better than you ever have before.  In my class, I'm teaching the kids the basics of Unreal Engine 4.  You would be amazed at the far corners of the engine the kids have already explored.  Through sheer exploration they've ventured places (in the engine) I hadn't yet been to.  They've encountered problems I'd yet to encounter.  They have ideas I'd not yet thought of.  In short, they will push YOU to be better and to learn more.  It's outstanding.  I love it.  

If you've ever felt stagnate in the trenches - doing the same thing over and over again - teaching is a great way to reinvigorate one's growth.

Expect New Stressors

No job is without its pain points.  Teaching is no different.  Whereas designing a game may involve periods of solitude thinking through a design before working with your team to implement, such moments of solitude are not to be found in the teaching realm.  You run the show.  Everyday.  There is no let-up.  There are no moments where a member of your team can bail you out if you've got brain lock.  It's up to you to keep the train running.  Students depend on it.  The constant of being "On" can drain you mentally (especially if introverted.)

Other stressors in the educational realm include...

Dealing with students who may not care (MOST all of mine do, some don't)

Adhering to state standards / guidelines (yes, yes there are rules to follow)

Did I mention being on point ALL THE TIME!?!?

(Yes...yes we did recreate arcade classic "Pac-Man" in class.  

NEXT UP:  Other titles way too old for most of my class to know or appreciate.  You're welcome American youth.  You're welcome)

Expect to be Reinvigorated

I remember my 1st year as a game designer, my first E3, my first game launch, all of it.  Those were great (if naive) times.  I was excited EVERY DAY to come in to work.  I didn't understand the politics, the motives, the nonsense that sometimes went on behind the scenes.  To say ignorance is bliss would be true.

After 11 years in the industry, I felt burnt out, jaded, used and abused.  I had signed "bonus contracts" unaware that such signings were part of a greater condition of a company getting sold.  I was given gifts for performance without realizing there were often strings attached (loyalty.)  I'd been promised stock options and incentives that often never materialized.  I saw the dark heart of man and it saddened me.

Things are different back in school.  Students are wide-eyed and excited.  Their enthusiam not dampered.  Their fire reignites mine.  I feel hopeful again.

Closing Thoughts

Game design and teaching are not so different.  In both cases, you're trying to find the best, most effective and efficient ways of reaching your target audience.  Metrics are used to gauge performance.  I communicate daily with said audience to get their thoughts and feelings on how things are going.....where the pain points are, where things could be better.  It has been a natural transition.

Outside the game dev trenches, do I miss working on games?  Do I miss the teams?  Do I miss the camaraderie?  Hell yes.  The creative in you won't die.  

But I do not miss the layoffs, the wondering of one's future, and the stressors it would suddenly place on one's life.  

As dark as some of those days can be, rest assured there are paths outside the trenches for game developers.  Perhaps some of those paths better align to your skills and ideals.  In the end you might find yourself happier on the outside looking in.

Interested in connecting and speaking with my students about your experiences in the gaming industry?  Feel free to contact me at:  greg_wondra@kernhigh.org