#i woke up immediately but was so fucked up on paranoia that i couldn't even go back to sleep

[nexus-nebulae]

ough

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

Thank you for writing scenarios for Hero Is Back! There is not enough love for tall monkey dad. Could we see what he's like when he's scared for the reader? 🥺

Gladly. First part was hurtful for me because of the playlist that came on.

I'm not good with these minor warnings, but I guess implied needles and stuff (doctor checkup).

Hope you enjoy!

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No matter how much he’s tried to protect you, shelter you, stand by you… the events of that day haunt him far too much, and it’s never enough. If he doesn't have you in his arms or be touching you in some way, shape or form, his paranoia tells his brain that you’re in danger. He didn't know who hurt you during that Heavenly Fight that led to his imprisonment, but he did know that it had messed him up bad. He would never forget how he last saw you and how he spent centuries thinking of when or if he would ever see you again.

Ever since he found you, he hasn't left your side, let you near sharp things, or let anyone suspicious come more than ten feet near you. He was so fucking careful, too fucking careful, so how could this have happened?! Wukong paced up and down the doorway of the room you were in. 

He was so careful, he made sure that you were protected and out of harm’s way, but even with all of it, you were still struck with a poisoned arrow. What made it worse, you only got struck by that arrow while protecting him. Now, he was on who knows how long of a panic attack while he and the others waited for you to wake up. 

The doctors said they did all that they could, but that wasn't enough for Wukong. He wanted you to wake up and scold him about being so hard on the workers, or tell him how worried you were. He just wanted to see your eyes open, he wanted you to smile and tell him you were okay even though you might be in a lot of pain. 

“Great Sage…?” he didn't even hear Liuer or notice the boy beside him. He definitely didn't notice that tears were falling from his eyes.

He was so worried about you, he couldn't lose you, not you, not again, especially not permanently. Anyone, but his beloved (Y/n). He wouldn't be the strong Monkey King if it weren't for your love and support. If it weren't for you, he would have never known love and what it was like to be truly appreciated.

“Wukong,” now that he heard. It's surprising how his head didn't snap off with how fast he whipped around to look at you. The relief and joy on his face shocked you, especially with the tears that continuously fell down his face. “Oh, Wuk-” he cut you off as he appeared before you and embraced you tightly, but not too tight. 

“I was so scared that I-” he couldn't even finish the sentence as he buried his face into your neck and sobbed. He was so, so happy that you were okay. He immediately picked you up bridal style and started to walk back into the room you woke up in. 

“Wha-” 

“You shouldn't be on your feet right now,” he said as he laid you down on the bed. 

“Wukong,” you sighed softly in defeat, letting him tuck you in, kiss your head and nose, and crawl into bed with you.

“If you ever think about doing something like that again… don't,” he held you in his arms. Things were going too fast, and you were honestly still trying to process he had picked you up, and you were on a bed. 

“Wukong,” you said, finally getting his attention.

“What is it? Do you want me to get the doctor?”

“My Wukong,” you smiled and held his face. “I'm okay, really,” you tried to comfort and ease him, but it did nothing to ease his worry as he kept you in his arms. 

“You're never leaving my side again,” he nuzzled your cheek and jaw. 

“Yes, sir,” you snickered a bit, “can you stop? That tickles.”

“Too bad,” he smiled as he intertwined his fingers with your and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Shouldn't you get the doctor?”

“I sent Liuer to get him,” he brushed you off. It wasn't a full lie, he made a motion for the boy to get the doctor, but whether he understood the non-verbal message or not was to be determined.

Thankfully, he did. The check-up was spent with your Wukong sitting beside you, eyes narrowing and glaring at the doctor whenever he made you wince or flinch.

“Hey, be careful!” he would scold the doctor with a snarl. Of course, it would make the poor guy flinch as well every time, continuously apologizing to you despite your efforts to assure them both that you were okay. You placed your free hand on Wukong’s and caressed it with your thumb as you leaned into him a bit. 

“My love, let the man do his job,” you smiled and placed your head against his shoulder.

“He’s hurting you more,” he looked at you as the doctor finished and stepped away from you two… as far as he could for his own sake.

“Your vitals all seem to be stable. With enough rest, you will make a steady recovery.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and looked up at Wukong as the doctor left you to rest. Your Monkey King, whose worry lines could be written on, looked at you as if it were the first time he’d met a goddess of beauty. “See? I'm alright.” 

It wasn't your words that brought him a sense of peace, it was that smile. That same smile that made his day much much much brighter… the same one he thought he'd never see again.

“I am sorry,” he placed a kiss on your temple. 

“Don't be,” you smiled a bit more at him, pulling him down by his clothes to kiss his cheek.

“Let’s get some rest, okay?” he said softly as he pulled you to lay down beside him.

Your body hurt a lot, but not as much as it did when you woke up. Something you guessed had to do with what the doctor gave you before he had started the more detailed vital assessment. However, with Wukong’s arms holding you close to his warm body, you not only felt comfortable, you felt safe.

[autumnbell32]

I've had bad depressive episodes- more than I count- since I was 12. The hypomanic episodes- I don't know how long I've had them. Sometimes, since my baseline is usually sadness and anxiety peppered with neutrality, it is hard for me to tell the difference between feeling happy and hypomania- Am I just feeling good? Am I scrambling to get everything done before the next depression hits or is this maniacal energy? The past few days...there has been NO question that I'm hypomanic, perhaps even experiencing full blown mania.

These are the worst symptoms I have ever had. I've heard things before...during a bad depressive episode and during times when I am overstimulated or sleep-deprived. They've always caught me by surprise- I hear them internally, of course, but imagine being completely alone and hearing a voice that isn't coming out of your own mouth or your phone. I've always paused after it happens, at least momentarily. Before this week, they had been nonsensical words and phrases that weren't contextual. Today, though. I woke up after few hours of sleep and immediately I was in eye-bulging, hand-trembling, panic city.

I couldn't stay in bed anymore. I got up, pulled my hair back, and went and got my usual iced coffee. LIKE AN IDIOT. Sure, lets add caffeine to this mix of heart palpitations and paranoia. Dum-dum. By the time I got back home I was sitting in my car, hearing a voice telling me I was "loveless." "It's just a voice...a biochemical issue...a brain glitch from new meds and genetics and lack of sleep." Yeah, I started bawling anyways. Loveless? Add into the fact that I have zero confidence right now and feel the most unmarketable I have ever felt and feel super attracted to someone I am talking to who, I'm pretty sure, thinks I'm a soft 4 (if that). And then someone on the Youtube replied to a non-inflammatory comment I made about Pete Davidson's fine self with insults of me being ugly and fat. I stared at the vegetarian breakfast sandwhich I had in the seat next too me, felt nauseated and it was waterworks. Fuck, I'm just trying my best. The psych meds have put weight on me.

I called my mom, asked her if I seem hypomanic. "Nope you seem happy." I called my brother, with his steady, calculated tone and told him my symptoms and told him I was scared. I mean, they aren't equipped to deal with this but I don't talk to many people. OH and I messaged the person I am talking to, who also deals with similar issues, and had a meltdown. I mean, things are great 👍. I went inside, called a nurse line and messaged my therapist, both advised ER. I can't. I can't miss any work. I'll go to this 6 hour short shift and drive myself to ER afterwards if I still feel like my brain is rolling out of my skull and down into a ditch. I have the next two days off. I called my insurance's helpline that is staffed with LCSWs, telling her I can't miss work, and we came up with a plan. Which I have written down on a notecard to keep in my pocket today. Listen, my aunt was late onset schizophrenic and her daughter was as well, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not scared. But all I can do is try to support myself and handle it. And not panic.

I had plans to go to a haunted house/Halloween theme park tonight as well. I love love love horror, but I'm guessing that could be triggering for me right now so I canceled. I feel so badly, he got tickets. But I have to coddle this organ under my skullcap right now. It's the only one I have.

I feel like I'm going to vomit.

[omgjumin]

Jumin fluff 11 + 16 + 27 please! I can't get enough of that man especially after seeing the new illustration update

i will never leave you alone - han jumin

summary: and if one day, he failed to protect you, he wouldn't forgive himself. 

tags: descriptions of fear, anxiety, and paranoia, reader is scared, takes place after jumin's good route, engaged characters, pet names (love and darling), gn!reader

notes: this is so so so late im so sorry 😭😭 i missed jumin so much but the illustration update was so fucking hot like i wanted to suck this man DRY ugh jumin was so toe curling, back arching, mouth drooling, moaning, heart pounding, pussy clenching hot anyway heres ur food

you didn't know what started it nor did you want to know. you were dreading the moment, your body stilled with fear as you heard a soft, faint tapping sound outside your door. it's often that it rains or that your neighbors come home late but with the constant fluttering of footsteps and knocks outside of your apartment, you couldn't help but to feel paranoid. your eyes hesitantly glanced at your phone, the screen lighting up to announce another minute has passed. 3:15am, it read. your hands were starting to get cold and clammy, an unwanted shiver ran through your back as the sound halted to a stop. anxiety clawed up your throat as you witnessed the first silent minute of the night since you woke up, drenched in sweat.

your mind swirled with different case scenarios of what was happening. one. it could be the blinds covering your windows tapping against the glass. no, it didn't sound like that when it did. two. winds could be picking up very small rocks and letting them hit your window. no no, it's not even windy and two, it wouldn't repeat at a rhythm for 15 minutes. three. unknown could still be out there. really, you never wanted to think about that but there was a possibility. you moved a few blocks down from where you originally stayed, complimentary by V. but there's still a slight chance that you were a target pursued by the unknown hacker. 

your trembling hands reached over to grab your phone, tightly securing it before quickly retreating your hand back into the comfort of your own bed. once your phone was unlocked, the uncomfortable silence was interrupted by the tapping. this time the dreadful noise quickened. the fastened pace of the noise only made things worse, your heart beat jumped, as panic filled your brain. your fingers dialed the only number you could think of, your eyes flickered in between the pending call screen and your front door. too afraid to take your eyes off the area where the noise was coming from but too frightened to keep looking. "love?" your fiancé called out, yet once again after not getting a response several times before. "are you okay? what's wrong?" jumin's voice filled with worry as he heard unsteady breathing fill the other line. "mc. answer me." jumin quickly crawled out of bed, sliding on his nearest clean pair of pants before heading out his penthouse.

"send all guards to mc's place immediately." jumin ushered out. his hair was a mess given that he was only sleeping prior to your call. it was almost 4am, there was no way that you called jumin without a purpose and that's what made jumin furious. he was as angry as he was panicking. jumin quickly shuffled his way into a driver's car and sped off into the road. his feet were antsy, he's never felt this before. when elizabeth the 3rd had ran away, he was anxious, of course, but never did his body react in such a way. his eyes kept darting from his phone to the outside window. it only takes 8 minutes to get to your apartment from his, specially requested by himself. he preferred if it was closer than that but V did his best to acquire this one. jumin's phone fluttered from off and on with each minute passing as he waited for a call back. it was silent, way too silent, maybe even the driver could hear how loudly jumin's heart was beating. his unsteady breaths filled the silence as they arrived.

as soon as the car was shifted into park, jumin jumped out of the car, rushing to your door. his hands shakily unlocked your door with his spare key. "are you okay?" jumin questioned, his body finding yours immediately. you were almost paralyzed by fear on the bed, hands gripping the cold sheets but as your eyes met his, jumin's hands wrapped around your body. "jumin." you sobbed, eyes reddening with tears as you clutched onto his shirt. and jumin didn't say a word, he was glad you were safe in his arms at once, and there was not a single scratch on you. his lips softly ran kisses down from your hair to your forehead and with the free hand that he did have, he soothingly stroked your hair. 

"i just wanted to make sure you're okay." jumin spoke out. his deep voice did its best to soothe you and it did. your hands slowly unraveled from the grip you had on the sheets, hesitantly reaching out for his own. "darling, you can hold my hands if you want. i won't let you go." you brokenly hummed as you found his hands placed on your waist. "jumin… i was so scared." you cried out, tears were still rushing out but calmed down once jumin's thumb rubbed against the back of your hand in small circles. "it's okay, i'm here now. i won't fail you. i never want to lose you, okay?" if he was being honest, jumin was just as scared, if not even more. he worked so hard to reach who he was today, his heart opened to love someone who wasn't a cat or wasn't his father, no matter how many times he's been angered by him. jumin has learned to trust someone who wasn't himself. someone that equally loved him as much as he loved them. so when he woke up to a silent call, your voice was nowhere to be heard besides heavy shaky breaths, his body enraged with fear. he couldn't lose you. jumin didn't want to know what it's like to lose someone you love, not again. he can't lose you. and if one day, he failed to protect you, he wouldn't forgive himself.

"you never have." you quietly whispered but it was loud enough for jumin. the quiet but firm affirmation stilled jumin's rushing heart. "can you stay the night please? i don't want to be alone." jumin nodded, letting a soft hum be your answer as he placed a kiss on your lips. "i will never leave you alone. let's go to bed, darling." jumin kissed you once more, as an affirmation for him and you that you were still here. "i love you, jumin."

"i love you too, mc."

[oo-marcy-oo]

I Can't Feel a Thing (pt. 3)

(Modern College AU) Ellie Williams x fem!reader, platonic Dina x fem!reader

pt. 1 here

pt. 2 here

A/N: SLOWBURN! Dina and Ellie are JUST ROOMMATES!! (And they were roommates!) This story was anonymously requested.

CW: Drug usage, addiction, substance abuse, angst, swearing, adult themes, suicidal ideation, panic attacks, paranoia, graphic descriptions of injuries, self-injury

DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS CONTENT WILL UPSET YOU.

~= time skip ig???

I have personal connections to this story. I mean it from experience when I say: addiction ruins lives. There is hope. You will be ok.

SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 

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You stormed into your room. The toilet flushed. That's probably where Ellie dumped the rest of your coke. She was on the phone with Dina, and you couldn't really hear what they were saying but you knew it wasn't good.

You were coming down at this point, and they were still talking. Reality always came crashing down on you in these moments. Jesus, you wanted to die. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you just let them fall.

"Y/N? I'm coming in." Ellie opened the door and looked at you for a second before speaking again. "Dina told me you'd be crashing by now. Um, she told me I shouldn't leave you alone right now, you know, just to make sure you don't have any more or overdose or do something dangerous." Her anger seemed to be subdued when she saw the tears streaming down your face.

"Yeah." You whispered.

"She's going to call you. She's really upset, just warning you. And, I mean, rightfully so, but still."

"Yeah." You wiped your face on your sleeve.

"Um, I'll get you some water. Here's my phone for when she calls. I plugged yours in."

"Thank you." The phone started ringing almost immediately after, and you took a breath before picking it up.

"Y/N? What the fuck is wrong with you? I leave for less than a fucking week and you're already binging on cocaine? I can't take care of you anymore! My mom needs me! You're on your own with this right now, I can't help you this time!" You ached with shame. "It's 12 a.m., Y/N. Go to bed. You're going to Ellie and I's dorm and staying there for however fucking long I say you are." You nodded, even though she couldn't see you.

"Ok." Apologizing wasn't an appropriate response right now, because you've apologized in the past just to end up doing it again. Ellie walked in silently and handed you the water.

"I can't believe you right now, Y/N. I really can't believe you." She hung up the phone. Ellie looked up at you and you looked away.

"Dina wants you to come stay with me right now."

"Yeah."

"Ok. Pack your things."

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You stayed in Dina's room that night. Her walls were dark green. The dresser had pictures of her and her family, and you and her together as kids. It made your eyes sting a little. Ellie seemed surprisingly ok with you staying there, as long as you didn't get in her way.

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Your nose started bleeding in the middle of the night, which woke you up pretty instantly. You got up to go to the bathroom, and while stumbling through the dark, ran into the coffee table. Something glass fell off the table and shattered on the floor. The door to Ellie's room opened and she flipped the light switch.

"Y/N?" She rubbed her eyes and looked at you. Your eyes were wide. You took a few steps back away from her, the glass crunching into your feet. "Woah, woah, woah, hey. Stop moving, you're stepping on glass!" She walked towards you, faster this time, to try and pick you up off the ground.

"Get the fuck off me!" You were kicking and flailing in her arms, suddenly violently afraid of her. "Let me go!"

"Y/N! Stop! I'm not going to hurt you!" She set you on the couch and held you down. "Shhh. You're ok. I'm not going to hurt you." Your heart was beating out of your chest, and every breath you took was accompanied with whines and sobs. She shushed you. "Honey, you're bleeding a lot." It was true. Not only had you absolutely destroyed the bottom of your feet with the glass, but your nose hadn't stopped bleeding.

"I'm sorry!" You gasped. There was blood everywhere.

"You're delusional, it's ok." You knew you were, you'd experienced it before during your comedowns. "I'm going to pick you up and take you to the bathroom, ok? Is that ok?" You nodded. She was being extra gentle with you right now, which was a strange sight. Every interaction you two had had before tonight were borderline hostile.

Ellie set you on the counter in the bathroom, making sure your feet weren't touching the floor. Her nightshirt was splotchy with your blood. She handed you a tampon. "Put it in your nose; it'll stop the bleeding." You did. She grabbed tweezers, hydrogen peroxide and gauze from the cabinet. "Now, I'm not as good of a nurse as Dina, but I've learned a few things from her patching me up after I was clumsy."

"Ok, I trust you." She smiled at you a little, and your face got a little hot. What the fuck? Ellie grabbed the tweezers off the counter.

"Hold onto my shoulders, ok? I'm sorry, it's going to hurt. It'll be ok." She grabbed your ankle with the other hand and assessed the damage. "It's not as bad as it could've been! I'll be quick. I'm sorry, honey." Now your face was very hot. Honey? Where did that come from? You didn't have long to think about that, though, when she started digging the glass out of your feet.

She was right, it did hurt. A lot. It wasn't a lot of glass and the pieces weren't huge, but they'd been pushed in your skin deeper when you stepped on your feet. You gripped Ellie's shoulders every time she pulled out a new piece and audibly winced. "I'm going to take you to urgent care in the morning, ok? Just to make sure there's nothing left when I'm done."

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She carried you back to your bed that night, feet bandaged and nose dried. She even tucked you in. Something about seeing you so fragile made her feel really awful. You normally had such a loud, powerful personality. At least as far as she was aware.

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Turns out she had gotten all the glass out. The doctor seemed impressed with her work, too. He gave you a crutch to walk on, and said to just give it time and you'd be fine. Ellie didn't really let you move around much though, anyways. She missed her class today too, and you didn't understand why she was fussing over you so much. You'd butt heads with her all the time in the past, and the sudden shift in her behavior gave you emotional whiplash. That's not to say you hated it, though.

Dina hadn't contacted you yet, and you felt awful. It was very selfish of you to do what you did.

You wanted to get high so bad. It was overwhelming. Something to take your mind off everything. You were literally itching to get high.

Fuck Ellie for throwing your shit away. Fuck her and fuck Dina. Fuck Jessica. And fuck John. Fuck everyone.

Your eyes burned with tears of sadness, shame, and guilt. But most of all, with rage. So much anger it swallowed you whole. The world was a cold, harsh place and you had found the one thing that made life feel worth living. Why did it have to be something that everyone wanted to take away from you? You were sobbing at this point. Balled up on the bed, knees digging into your forehead and fingernails indenting the backs of your thighs. The pain was something, anything other than the void in your chest that continued to grow-the void that was only ever filled with cocaine.

"Y/N? What's going on?" You had locked the bedroom door so Ellie wasn't able to just walk in. "Y/N, talk to me please?"

"God, I'm not doing drugs, just leave me the fuck alone!" Your voice was raw with sobs as you shouted at her.

"I'm not worried about that! Open the door, please! I'm not leaving you alone!" You heard the doorknob rattle, then go quiet. A couple seconds later it rattled and clicked open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ellie? I told you to leave!" She walked over to you and wrapped her arms around yours, sufficiently trapping you in her embrace. "I don't need your fucking pity! Just let me go home, I'll be out of your hair and no one will have to worry about me again!" She still hadn't said anything, just held you as you franticly wiggled to try and escape her grasp. She was notably stronger than you were.

Eventually, you stopped struggling and let her hold you. The poor neighbors could probably hear your screams and cries, if they were home. It was a good thing it was the middle of the day; most people had gone to class or were out in town.

You'd sat like that for what seemed like forever. At some point she had climbed onto the bed next to you and covered your back with a blanket. Your cries quieted and had lessened in frequency.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry," you said through tears. "You don't have to take care of me."

"I know I don't. I guess I don't hate spending time with you as much as I act like I do." She was getting shy.

"Ok, but you shouldn't have to miss class and make so much effort into making sure I'm ok."

"I want you to be ok, though. I really don't like it when you're upset. I feel like I want to help you not be upset, you know?" You smiled at her.

"I guess I don't hate spending time with you as much as I act like I do either. I wish it could've been under better circumstances that we admitted this, though."

"These don't have to be bad circumstances. Let me take care of you."

"Why are you being nice to me? I'm the one who got myself into this situation," you questioned.

"Yeah, and you suck for doing that. But I make big mistakes sometimes too, and I regret them too. You just need a little more help to stop making this mistake. That's ok. I'll help you. I don't have to have sympathy for you, but I can empathize with you. You're hurting, and you found something that made the hurt go away, albeit temporarily. It's human nature that you'd have a hard time giving it up." Her eyes watered a little. "I'll help you fill the void that it's absence creates. I'll help you make the hurt go away." She had an understanding you weren't expecting from her. "My dad had an opioid addiction for a while. It's not the same as cocaine, but I still understand why you do it." Oh, that's why. "You're going to be ok, Y/N, even if you aren't right now."

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[alienorstyx]

A Night in Paris

Precedent chapters: 5, 6

Chapter 7 : Fury

Canada was watching America walking in circle in his room, his brother woke him up in the middle of the night to come and talk about something important, it could be anything and everything with America. « I am sure she had slept with him. » Cried America , shaking in all directions before adding; « It's been several days since I've wondered who might want to sleep with her, I've even , blah, blah, blah ... »

And there he goes again in his usual paranoia, spying on everyone, trying to master other countries by his ideology. And saying that he criticizes dad on it, they are really similar on this method, thought Canada, but he knew what would cost him to say his thoughts aloud, his brother would find a way to avenge or humiliate him in the months to come. For these reasons, Canada preferred to remain silent, and to play the game of America as long as possible until the latter was satisfied.- Who are you talking about? Asked while baying Canada, who had not understood at all, what his brother had been mumbling for twenty minutes.

" But France and this bastard of communist!" America replied angrily, who couldn't stand for someone not to pay attention to what he was saying.

" USSR?"

"Yes, him, who I don't know why dad is trying to deny that's it him."

" Maybe it's not him then?"

" No! I am sure that France sleep with him, after all she has always been in good term with these reds , and then in her population this party is still popular . It disgusts me that she did not clean up or that she simply banned it ,instead, she lets them express themselves,and be in her government ."

"You still resent the fact that she kicked you out of her country or that she managed to get up to the table of the winners or else it is ..."

"Shut the fuck up! Of course, I didn't like it when once I came to rescue her from the third Reich, saving Europe for the second time, and there she ...immediately after she became hostile to my installation, by demanding and imposing the withdrawal of my troops." America cried out while making big movement with these arms, before Canada, which was visibly tired of all this nonsense.

"She immediately noticed that you tried to destroy her."Tried to justify Canada , he did not like when his brother criticized his mother , she was certainly for America more like his mother-in-law but it was still her and Spain who helped him during his war of independence. "Stupid , I never wanted to destroy her." Bitching America , who couldn't stand his younger brother's accusations, about his actions or attempt. "Yet it was indeed the project of your President Roosevelt and his plan for Europe, wasn't he?" Canada risked.

"Yes, there was that. However, that was not my goal."

"America", said Canada in a weary tone while watched him sweat nervously, he knew that his brother had discussed it with Roosevelt on the question of Europe, that he was happy to be able to show his power over the European countries, some of which had snubbed him and criticized him .

" Admit America, you are trying to weaken the old colonial empires to increase your own power."Murmured timidly Canada, who immediately regretted making this comment, seeing his big brother take off his iconic sunglasses and his dark blue eyes then flashed lightning.

"And so what!" The latter replied, visibly angry.

" You cannot criticize Mom's actions." Dared shyly Canada by hardly supporting America's insistent gaze.

"And if she chose the camp of this communist. You would follow her like a good big boy to his mommy, eh."

" And so you try to intimidate me, for what? And then mom is still a powerful country whether you like it or not!" He bits his tongue, insulting himself internally for saying that.

"No, I ... , she ...she is no longer a great power, period. And then she has already started to make treaties with this coco."

"What are you talking about, Mom wouldn't do something like that."Canada really didn't like how things were going, he was hopeless that everything would stop, and that this nightmare would end so that he could finally rest. "Oh yes, well look,and open big your eyes, my dear brother. She did not wait until the end of the war to form an alliance with the USSR, they signed on December 10, 1944 in Moscow."

Canada remained speechless due to this revelation, how he could not have been made aware of it, it is perhaps a small treatise of nothing at all that will probably have no impact in the future, finally he hoped . However , what irritated him the most was not this treaty, but the air of complete satisfaction that America displayed. It was with an inordinate calm and in a frigid tone that Canada uttered his words that hurt America:

"You have changed far too much. You are no longer the brother I knew."

[angel-caked]

@thecrybabydemon | @pibrequirem | @heavensxstray | @wrxthfulguard | @nebula-gaster

Angel knew it was coming, it was just the matter of when. He felt the paranoia creeping up his spine and sinking it's claws into his skin despite the calmness and extremely tender moments-- the spider was never wrong when knowing bad luck was going to make its appearance, especially when he knew why. It was unavoidable and the peace wasn't going to last forever. 

And he was ready for it, or at least he thought. 

It had been a week since Kerosene had admitted what she had done and Angel figured it was safe enough due to his father not being a patient man. This all flipped when the spider sensed someone approach from behind during his daily trip to Hotheads and his first instinct was to bite and use his strength though, this feeling would be short lived when a cloth was pressed to his face and his body felt like lead. Angel felt himself falling but couldn't tell which direction and the face of his captors were obscured by the quickly fading shadows. He raised a sluggish hand, curling it into a fist to meekly attempt swinging on the demon though it was caught by the wrist; It was worth the shot.

He woke up from a dull yet stinging hit to the face, a sweet metallic tang instantly filled his mouth, Angel groaned from the rude awakening and lulled the back of his head on what seemed to be the back of a chair.  

His eyes were open though there was still nothingness...

"Take a good nap?" A oh-too-familiar voice rang out, before he could register where it came from the bindings over his eyes were freed with a rough tug and all hope he had for the peace to remain for another decade was shattered. In front of him was a large spider demon, grey with whitening hair and in a black suit just like he wore before death-- how did he die? It was beyond Angel for he passed before dear ol' father did. 

The pale spider couldn't stop the words before they left his mouth "Yeah up until some fucker cu--" he couldn't even finish before what looked to be a bug sinner cuffed him across the mouth when Henroin raised his hand, "fUCK!" Angel instinctively brought his own hands up to hold his mouth only to find they were bound to the chair's arms, all of them. His pink eyes went from the binds straight to his father for an explanation, though seemingly amused by this look Henroin took his sweet time. 

The Patriarch of this gang flicked the ashes off his cigar and took a puff in a nonchalant manner, "We'll get to that in a moment, disgrazia." He slowly said while flipping open folders as one of the made-men quickly grabbed the back of Angel's head to force him to look at what was the charred desk. It was all photos of Angel with his friends from odd angles; the time he and Don had went to run an errand for Charlie, him and Will out on the nicer side of the pentagram, him and Kerosene shopping for games, him and Jovanni out on a date and lastly one of Angel singing at the Blue Hive.

All were angled to catch their faces. 

"Seein' as you have accumulated so many connections you ain't whoring yourself out for; I heard you got married, you got lil fuck trophies too. I take it your pimp has cut you loose? Wouldn't be the first time you've disappointed someone-'' Angel was zoning out in order to keep his tongue in check. He knew at this point Henroin was TRYING to get a rise out of him, an excuse to just beat on him right then and there and Angel was not about to give it to him. "Just tell me what this is about, Pops. We both got betta things to do." A made man was about to slap Angel for speaking until Henroin made it come to a pause with a look. He adjusted himself in the leather seat, it creaking under his weight and a snort was heard as he snubbed out his smoke.

"Fine." The way Henroin said it made Angel's blood go cold as the larger of the two arose to his feet and waved a hand for his minions to move. Angel started to regret opening his mouth felt bile rise in his throat- the way Henroin moved just reminded him of when he was younger. When he'd try to follow Arackniss into the parlor when they had guests over or when he was caught; two worse beatings of his days up top, that he could recall anyway. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Henroin yanked him up by his throat and squeezed with one hand. Angel's eyes widened, fruitlessly his hands tried going up to claw at the large wrist though as soon as he did there were stars blurring his vision from the hold that slowly yet surely crushed his pipes and face ached from the fist that collided with it.

"You tried to kill me, as if I wouldn't find out. All these years of plannin' d the best ya could do was some bitch the size of a flea? Was the first time ya tried not enough?" Henroin asked, yanking struggling Angel up eye to eye with him and out of the binds due to how harsh it was. The starlet's hands immediately sunk their claws into the wrist and fingers only for the attempt to do nothing but earn Angel being punched again in the jaw with a crack. "Quit it, I'm not going to kill ya. Not now. I'm going to return the favor and then some fa taking your brother's tasks." When the don saw Angel slipping into unconsciousness, he traded the thin throat for slender arms and shook hard enough for the limp spider to swear he got whiplash. "Look at me." Unfocused did Angel stare at his father on command, "You're still debt for the shark incident and the pub deal uptop. When they're finished up here, you'll be marked. Your friends fuckin' marked. per aver avuto il fottuto coraggio di riprovare, prenditi cura di questa mia perdita di tempo. " He ordered the two minions in the room after dropping Angel onto the ground like a worthless ragdoll. Angel wanted to yell he didn't do it this time though, his mouth wouldn't move. He wanted to take them out in the same manner he did the Shark Heist but couldn't even hold his own head without it feeling like someone stabbed a nerve.

Once again, Angel found his world going black again while watching Henroin leave the room. There were hushed murmurs from those in the room in what he assumed what was disbelief though he couldn't tell from the way his head throbbed, he didn't even know what was going on having to close his eyes and welcomed the darkness to save himself from being conscious during the worst of it all.

[theparasiteofficial]

So I needed a place to talk again. I've sort of woken up recently, like a fog lifted from my mind and immediately after, paranoia and anxiety set in. I can see how illogical it is, but I can't turn it off. I'm losing my goddamn mind. I've been viewed as strong and stubborn for a long time, the person that takes life's shit and throws it back. But I don't think I can win this time, I'm all out of motivation, strength, determination. My nightmares have gotten worse and once again I'm harming myself while sleeping but it's worse. I woke up today with cuts on my face, my neck was ripped up pretty good and I'd bitten a hole through my tongue and took a chunk out of the inside of my cheek. I'm starting to hallucinate, I get these intense headaches medication can't touch. I feel like I'm losing it and I don't know what to do, I've also had to swallow a pretty tough pill. All these years wasted on being a coward, hurting others because I couldn't accept the fact that the only human being I truly despise is myself. I wanna be 15 again, I wanna be able to say "its not a phase mom" like any other edgy angsty teen. But I can't, if this is was a phase it would have ended not evolved. I was ignored by a government facility I needed because they're oh so reliable. Fucking assholes hung me out to dry. The one time I actually try to get help and nah, won't even pick up their fucking phone over the course of two weeks. And people wonder why I'm bitter and violent at times, try being tortured by your own mind and also ignored the entire time when you try to get help. Prescription after prescription nothing fucking works so they give me sleeping pills so I can be tortured in my hellscape of a mind more vividly with no possibility of escape until I finally wake up and then I have to face existence and cope with whats happened. I want it all to just fucking stop I can't keep doing this. I try so fucking hard to be a decent person I try to know what it feels like to be happy I try to convince myself it's just left over angst from my teen years but there comes a point where the evidence becomes this brick wall and when you hit it you have to accept the possibility you're just slipping and someday you'll be some fucking husk in a small padded room alone and confused for the remainder of your miserable lifespan. I can't even write anymore it just doesn't come to me. Any time I try to engage my brain and emotions it all reaches a point where the pressure is too much to handle and I lose my shit. I don't wanna be like this anymore, I want to be able to be honest when I tell people I give a shit about them, I wanna be able to feel something for anyone and be able to fucking be okay. I'm tired, and I don't mean sleep deprived kind of tired but that's there too. I mean really tired in every way possible. I don't have anything left in me, I'm just ready to go already. I don't like this life I never had and frankly it's never liked me much either. So that's all I had to say really.