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tetrisfinished · 2 months ago

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ITALY 2024

okay so....we did italy! nuts right!?

we went from sep 16, 2024 to oct 2, 2024 and here was our daily breakdown of activities (it was just yasir, esi, and i).

DAY 1: Sep 16, 2024 - Mon - Toronto

this was the day of our flight; air canada direct from YYZ (toronto) to FCO (rome)

the flight was fine, totally on time, airport shenanigans were had

it was kind of a red eye, because it was at 8:15 PM departure toronto time, and we arrived in rome the following day at 10:50 AM rome time

it was a smooth-ish flight - the seat belt did not fit me so i had to ask for a belt extender and it was perhaps the worst moment of my life. but then i decided to push past it - i'm fat. that's that.

esa slept for almost 7 hours during the flight after food which was of course AMAZING - luckily we had 3 empty seats in the aisle section of the plane so he slept lengthwise on them

though i was not able to sleep - despite actually being really easily able to sleep, i kept jerking myself awake thinking esa was going to fall off the seats where he was sleeping - so that wasn't great for me lol

DAY 2: Sep 17, 2024 - Tue - Rome/Naples

we arrived in rome on time and then took the train to termini station (after getting a couple snacks at the airport)

next we missed the train from termini to naples that we had booked (the 1 PM train) and ended up on the 2:38 PM train to naples

termini is huge, and the washroom costs 1 euro to use and of course yasir had not prepared with cash or anything - luckily they accept card

we got on the high speed frecciarosa train to naples and it rained and got a bit chilly - the whole time all i could think was urgh i will never hear the end of it from yasir because i insisted that it would be good weather during our visit (PER GOOGLE, IT SHOULD BE) but he was hesitant right from the get go

when we got to naples stazionne centrale (central station) we had our first official italian meal - burger king lol

then we got a taxi to come to our b&b - napolita bonita b&b

once we got to the b&b it was about 6:30 PM so basically wasted the whole day away

yasir wanted to go out but i was exhausted (at this point i think i'd been up since toronto time 6 in the morning the previous day with VERY MINIMAL sleep in between)

so i opted to stay and basically esa and i fell asleep immediately - or at least i'd say by 7:30-8 PM at the latest

yasir ended up going out to explore the area directly outside the b&b and got a chocolate gelato for esa - though he did come in the door yelling how it was already melting and they ate it but more or less it had melted

i saw the aftermath on the towels stained brown to look like poop (to my extreme, immediate, but thankfully shortlived horror) the next time i went to the bathroom

DAY 3 - Sep 18, 2024 - Wed - Naples/Amalfi/Pompei

this day started for us at about 12:30 AM because all 3 of us "naturally" woke up - thanks again to jet lag

then we got hungry, luckily the b&b was sort of stocked with basic food choices (VERY basic) so we grabbed some milk and cookies and rusk (papay, in italy! lol crazy, right?) and packaged croissants and ate those.

we went back to sleep between 2:30-3 AM - after a lot of begging and coercing with esa since he was not super interested but we were all of course super tired :p

i woke up around 5:30 AM and took a shower and prayed fajr and got ready

woke up esa at 7 AM and got him ready quickly - he was in a great mood so that was an excellent start to my day

on this day we had pre-booked a day trip from naples > amalfi coast > pompei with stops at the limoncello factory as well as scenic viewpoint stops at sorrento and positano and on the way to pompei a stop at a viewpoint at the other side of the mountain

our pickup was at 8 AM and we got to our pickup location on time, though not having had any breakfast

we asked the driver if it was okay and we grabbed some breakfast from a nearby cafe - some coffee and croissants

then we were on our way (after one final pickup) to the amalfi coast

on the way we stopped at the limoncello factory and had some gelato and took some pictures

we also stopped at viewpoints in sorrento and positano before arriving in the amalfi coast where we grabbed a quick lunch and gelato and hung out - didn't honestly have that much time to explore but we went by the water and it was just gorgeous

then we hopped back on our tour JUST as the rain was about to begin and headed towards pompei - again with stops on the way to capture the gorgeous cities down below the mountain

then we arrived at pompei for our guided tour of the ruins and oh my goodness it is fascinating the way these ruins contained a full civilization inside them!

finally after the tour (where esa met and befriended a local stray and then asked us for a cat at home), we were on our way back to our hotel pickup spots

however, we were unable to actually be dropped off where we were picked up, thanks to "mama i need to go poopoo" lol

i'm NOT complaining - thank god, esa is telling and has been overall good with the whole potty sitch, so we got off at a major-looking roundabout where we found a little cafe/bar and asked to use their toilet

after that yasir found the hidden gem karachi chicken grill point in naples which is where we went for kabuli pulao and seekh kabab

the pulao was actually not bad - I don't know what i was expecting from desi food in italy (to be honest not great) but it actually tasted very authentic!

in any case, after dinner we walked back to the b&b; esa and i came in and showered right away, and then esa asked for "remember how we had milk and cookies last night? [we did] can we do dis again, mama?"

so of course, had to oblige and had some milk and cookies dinner in bed and then we went to sleep

DAY 4 - Sep 19, 2024 - Thu - Naples

this day was meant for just hanging out and relaxing and seeing naples by ourselves

in the morning we had breakfast at the b&b along with the other guests (one english couple and one american)

then we went out to see the city - first up was spanish quarter, but we detoured first to a miniso and then to some glasses shop

then we happened to find galleria umberto I which is a shopping centre - here esa announced he was hungry so he had a happy meal at one of the fanciest mcd's i think i'll ever come across lol

then we left and walked to the piazza plebescito and saw the palazzo reale (royal palace) and basilica reale and the two horse statues

after that we walked down via cesario console (i believe, looking at the map) and got a mint slushie (pro tip - do not do this unless you like drinking toothpaste...) and a chocolate gelato for esa which he proceed to ruin his clothes with along with his face and stroller - and didn't even finish!

then we walked back up the road and went towards basilica santa chiara

on the way we stopped back at our b&b and changed esa

then at the basilica, yasir was hesitant about purchasing tickets because he saw the church in amalfi coast and thought it would be the same

spoiler - it was not the same (he purchased the tickets, thank goodness). there was a GORGEOUS courtyard with old benches and pillars with art from I don't know even when - i didn't get wifi so i wasn't able to listen to the guided tour that came with our tickets so i was really sad about that, but overall gorgeous place!

then we walked to gino e toto sorbillo which was a tiktok famous pizza place recommendation and had a margherita and ortula (not exactly the same, but close enough) pizzas - both yasir and esa ate them and it made me so so so happy!

after we left the restaurant - where i asked yasir to take esa to the bathroom, and he did, and did not change him because esa had FULLY wet himself, we came outside and changed esa on the street (so many rolly eyes emojis)

then we walked to the funiculour so we could go up to see the sunset at castel sant elmo - we almost purchased the tickets and went in but then decided against it and walked down the road to the open viewpoint

the sunset wasn't great because it was super cloudy - but the view was gorgeous and there was a little cafe where we had a couple of sweet things and coffee, juice, warm milk for esi

we left after dark and found a cab back to the b&b just as the rain started - by the time we got back to our b&b it was a full thunder storm with lightening and the works!

during our cab ride there was some slowdown and it turns out it was because it was the miracle of san gerrano day in naples (as explained to us by the driver)

so the story goes that naples had a "patron saint" (i say this in quotes because i'm not sure if i'm recalling it correctly and also because i don't know exactly what that is...) whose blood was collected after his death. and every year a miracle occurs on the 19th of september where the blood liquifies. the residents of naples consider this a sign of good luck and well being when the blood liquifies. on occasions when it doesn't liquify, they believe terrible things will happen. the last time it did not liquify was in 2019 - and covid happened. another time prior was 1943 - and mount vesuvius erupted in 1944.

the driver explained that naples residents were an equal parts religious and luck-believing people, and he himself pointed out the irony in that lol but it was an interesting insight into the culture, so i really appreciated it!

anyway, back at the b&b, esa and i headed straight into the shower and he showered first, then i showered, and we went to bed

DAY 5 - Sep 20, 2024 - Fri - Naples/Rome

this day started with my waking up in the middle of the night (per usual) and writing out my post (this post lol) i figure during this trip i would do it as concurrently as possible because i will totally forget the details by the time the trip is over :'(

then i woke up around 7 am to go do the laundry down the road from the b&b and had a lovely chat with a gentleman traveliing with his wife from australia

after laundry i got back to the b&b around 9:20 AM and had breakfast - esa had peed in the bed and was sitting dressed up at the breakfast table not eating anything

then we got ready to check out and headed over to napoli centrale stazione

we arrived at about 11:40 AM and were able to get booked on the 12:09 PM train so we caught it just in time and headed to rome

in rome, we grabbed a quick lunch at an istanbul kebab and indian restaurant combination spot (right outside termini)

then we walked to the b&b which was walking distance, thankfully and checked in - though this took a while. all the bookings are completed by me, but my phone is off and yasir of course receives none of the confirmations....

anyway, we finally got in - the b&b is tiny and of course i'm pissed

then i needed a nap, so i slept a bit after setting up and yasir and esa went out for a few minutes

after i woke up, esa and i were hungry so we walked out and explored the area - found a park, to esa's extreme delight and stayed until maghrib

after maghrib we found a zenobia cafe right across from it and went and had dinner - syrian food

after dinner we walked back to the b&b and slept

DAY 6 - Sep 21, 2024 - Sat - Rome

the day started around 8:30 AM-ish when we went for breakfast at the b&b

we ate a big breakfast (at least i did, anyway) and i took a shower and got ready and got esa ready and yasir took a shower and got ready as well

then we went to the first attraction which was basilica de santa maria maggiore

omg when i tell you the grandeur of this church was something else - please believe that it was in fact SOMETHING ELSE.

it was actually making me irrationally irritated being there because the amount of effort and money that must have gone into making and now maintaining these buildings all in the name of religion must be astronomical - and yet in the name of the same religion and religious institutions so much bad is happening in the world.

anyway. whatever.

after we left the church, we decided to get onto a hop on hop off bus and rode it for a while

we exited the bus at piazza barberini and had lunch at that's amore

then we walked to get some gelato and were on our way to the trevi fountain where we took our pictures and admired the fountain

after that we walked to the pantheon and stood in line for about a half hour only to find out that we'd missed our opportunity and the tickets were sold out for the day

after that we walked to the spanish steps and then sat down there for a bit

then we climbed the spanish steps (first esa and yasir went alone, then the 3 of us went together) and stopped at a restaurant named novecento and had some drinks and tiramisu

after that we walked to the villa borghese stop for our hop on hop off and got on board (i managed to lose our tickets though, so that was fun 8-) but they let us on with the transaction in my apple wallet

the bus we got on was the last one for the day and we exited the bus at termini

after exiting we walked to the same place we had dinner at the day before - ristorante zenobia and ordered the makloubeh and shish tawouk and ate

after that we walked back to the b&b, all 3 of us showered, and went to bed!

DAY 7 - Sep 22, 2024 - Sun - Rome

this day was nuts! at the end of the day, my phone clocked a total of 19,446 steps!

we had colosseum/palatine hill/roman forum tickets for this day

our reservation was for 9:45 AM and we left the b&b pretty much immediately after breakfast

we walked to the colosseum (yes, walked, because that's how close it was to our b&b) and got in

the structure and history of this monument is just....beyond words! we spent a couple hours there and then we walked to palatine hill and saw all the MANY things to see there including but not limited to:

colosseum arch of constantine temple of venus and rome arch of titus palatine basilica of maxentius roman forum farnese gardens house of augustus ninfeo deggli specchi ninfeo della pioggia

then we exited through the roman forum out to via de fori imperiale and the road was closed and full of people and buskers - there were break dancers, humans dressed as statues, people in giant bear and panda costumes, and my PERSONAL favourite - the pianist whose music rang through the square

right across the roman forum are the follwing attractions that we saw as well:

foro traiano colonna traiana imperial fora le colonnacce

from there we walked to the altaire della patria and yasir convinced me to climb up to the top of this MASSIVE BUILDING where they had a little square - so i did, and oh boy am i glad i did! it was soooooo beautiful!

next, we had a few snacks at the cafe there and yasir and esa went to the bathroom, which was on the ground floor of this monster building so he had to go down and come back up once again! (not to mention that he went down and came back up the first time too, because he went alone at first before convincing me to come up with him)

then we had our snacks and yasir decided we should go up by elevator to their terrance - this was right around sunset

that had to be one of the hands down most beautiful city scapes i've ever seen in my life - and that too at golden hour!

anyway, that was of course the moment that esa needed to poop so yasir and esa went down again and i stayed behind because i just couldn't leave that sunset

then, of course, the attraction closed and both mine and yasir's phones died lol

soooo ya, anyway as it closed, i went down along with everyone else and there were yasir and esa right at the bottom trying to get up to find me

next we walked over to the ara coeli staircase - or i should say yasir did, i chose to sit at the bottom

and when he got back, we hung out at the bottom of the stairs figuring out what to do

we decided to try and get a cab back to the b&b but none of the cabs stopped for us, so we sort of kept walking along

then finally we figured we wouldn't be able to do anything without charging our phones so we stopped in at an irish pub and charged our phones and ate some food

then we decided to walk it back to the b&b - where esa slept almost immediately, i showered, and then i slept

DAY 8 - Sep 23, 2024 - Mon - Rome/Vatican

on this day we had booked our tickets for the vatican museums and sistine chapel

we woke up in the morning and were fairly relaxed about getting there because our tickets were for a guided tour at 11:30 AM

we had breakfast at the b&b and then got ready to go, but by the time we left it was already past 10:30 AM and then we were not able to find any cabs and got stuck waiting on a hop on hop off bus instead

so that's what we did

except like 3 buses arrived at the stop completely full before we were finally able to get onto one

and then the bus stopped at the vatican city, except it's a fair way away from the actual vatican where it stops so it was a long walk fr us to get ot the musem

luckily we had tickets so we could skip the line, but by the time we finally made it to the front to enter it was 1:30 PM...

when the entrance person first scanned our ticket it sounded a big beep - and he looked and realized we were late

luckily, we were still able to enter, however it was just going to be a self directed tour instead of a guided one

such is life, so we started goiing through it, until we got through to the seond or third museum when esa had an accident and then i rushed him through all the remainder of the museums (if i'm recalling correctly, there are 13 in total and the ending exhibit is sistine chapel) to get to the toilets which are after the san rafaello museum

of course esa had to be changed and i was upset at him - this was kind of the shitty part of the trip

but afterwards we walked ahead and got to the sistine chapel

after the sistine chapel we stopped and had a light bite to eat and then were on our way to st. peter's basilica where we decided we wanted to go in

there was a fairly long line up for that, however it was free and the line moved fairly quickly

and once we got literally to the front door of the basilica, like clockwork once again, esa needed to pee

and of course there were no toilets until you exited, so i did and then i ran with esa to the toilet where OF COURSE there was a long ass line for the women's room and almost no line for the men's

so i took esa and stood outside the men's room area (luckily there were no doors to the overall bathroom)

and directed him to go pee and find a toilet (which he at first could not find) and then when he did he almost forgot to close the door

and then at the end when he needed to wash his hands, he couldn't figure it out but thank GOD, one of the men in the washroom saw us. he had literally been done and LEFT but then CAME BACK to help esa with washing his hands and if that's not a miracle, I don't know what fucking is.

anyway, once we got out, we decided to get back into the line and try again

this time we were able to get in and see the basilica, but the st peter's grottoes had jUST closed for the day so we missed those - ah wells

and when we got out we spent some more time at the square and finally decided it was time to go back

i was in no mood to do a 30 minute walk at sunset back to the b&b so despite that there was no taxi that showed up, i booked an uber black

then we got back and yasir decided again that he wanted to have a desi dinner so we walked around termini area (close to our b&b) to have desi food

after dinner we walked back to the b&b and i think i didn't even shower that night because i was exhausted

and we went to sleep

oh also, the night before esa had had an accident in bed, the b&b hadn't even replaced the sheets so esa and yasir slept together on the single bed while i slept on the very corner of my side of the double

rome's b&b was my least favourite and i definitely regret not pushing for spending more money on the stays there - though yasir believes it was all good, and no big deal - he isn't correct.

DAY 9 - Sep 24, 2024 - Tue - Rome/Florence

on this day we started off with breakfast at the b&b and then we packed up and checked out officially, but left our baggage there to go and explore some more

we walked around the area and explored a little bit and i got a matte privacy screen protector for my phone, which i really enjoy

esa also made a purchase of his red sunglasses that day - when he bought them he asked to call khala and minnu to show them his purchase lol but obviously it was too early in canada so we couldn't do that

and then later on decided he wanted a phone case (thinking it was a phone) from the store that i purchased my screen protector from and then insisted on "turn my gasshess to get the phone" (read: return my glasses to get the phone) l o l so that was a fun ride

after we'd finished exploring, we went back to the b&b, got our luggage and went to termini to catch our train to florence

at termini of course we (esa and i) were left waiting while yasir bs'ed around the ticket booths to get our seats - 5 cities, and 5 inter-city train rides and yasir never got it through his thick fucking head that you can do that ahead of time and save yourself a lot of trouble

but ANYWAY, on the train, esa and yasir went to the dining cart and esa smugly brought back a box of popcorn for himself - i have the cutest video of them coming back and urgh my kid is adorkable (mashallah)

we arrived at the florence b&b at around 5:30-ish PM and checked in - this one was MUCH nicer than rome's so we breathed a major sigh of relief

and then we walked around to go find some dinner, which of course ended up being some shawarma at the local shawarma place lol

then we walked around some more and then came back to the b&b after it had gotten dark to sleep

DAY 10 - Sep 25, 2024 - Wed - Florence

on this day we got up, had breakfast, got ready and began our exploratiojn of florence

we started off at the officina profuma-farmaceutica santa maria novella - the (self proclaimed) oldest pharmacy in the world dating back to 1221

i posted it in my instagram stories and one of my friends pointed out (rightfully so) that it is of course self proclaimed because pharmacies and medicinal practices and perfumeries existed in the "brown" world long beforr this time, but as per the colonial habit - they love to claim they're the first to do everything lol

anyway, over here i got my souvenirs for mama and javaria - rose water toner

then we grabbed a cappuccino and a cookie for esa and yasir and i and walked to the basilica santa maria novella in the piazza santa maria novella and walked around in the church and the gardens behind it for a while

then we grabbed lunch at a restaurant in the piazza (pizza and risotto - neither of which yasir liked so that was lovely)

after that we walked ahead to the dumo firenze and stood in line to get in there

while in line we enjoyed a gelato, which was lovely

after the duomo, we walked around a bit and as i was guiding us to our next stop i noticed on the map there was something labeled merry go round; i searched for it in the area and got directions and lo and behold found ourselves at piazza della republica where there was indeed a merry go round

so we got on and took a couple spins on the merry go round, which esa of course enjoyed so i loved it too

it was a pretty cool piazza too, so i was very happy to spend time there

after the piazza, we walked through and found ourselves at one of the many local leather mercatos (marketplaces) in florence and we walked through there

esa immediately found a shark shaped keychain which yasir of course did not buy him because this was the moment yasir chose to try and parent his kid (rolling my eyez 4 DAYZ)

anyway, after walking around the mercato we continued forward to the literal castle called palazzo vecchio in the piazza della signora

we walked through inside to the part that was open to the general public, noticed the terrace tickets were sold out, and walked out and of course this was the moment i ran out of storage on my phone

and general phone battery dying problems had begun

so we decided to take a quick pause and sat down at a cafe in the same piazza - the gucci cafe lol

here we charged our phones, i deleted whatever i could to try and make more space on my phone, and then i went back to the castle quickly to take the pictures i missed :'(

after this we walked over to basilica di santa croce in piazza de santa croce which was actually something yasir had added to the itinerary

unfortunately, when we got there it was already closed so we mostly just looked around outside of it

then we walked to the school of leather which is a functioning and open school where leather goods are produced to this date

here i purchased javaria's cross body bag and ahsan's belt - leather items, for her birthday and his souvenir

after that we kept on walking - in all honesty, i was in the mood to just go back to the b&b but yasir wanted to keep walking so we did and when we did we eventually found ourselves at the river in florence called river amo

we walked along the river around sunset and crossed to the other side and then we stopped for dinner - yasir had declared earlier that he was in the mood for something "chatpatta" and lo and behold we found a pakistani restaurant that night

biryani and daal and malai koftay and naan were had and oh man i gotta say that was some ELITE level biryani in florence that night

after dinner, it was dark and rained for a bit so it was obviously time to go back to the b&b - but not before passing by ponte vecchio in florence, which is a famous bridge with restaurants and only a walking path along it

yasir figured out the bus route that would take us back so we hopped on a bus and went back to the b&b and slept

this was perhaps my absolute favourite day in the whole of the italy trip and probably also the reason that florence has been my favourite city hands DOWN

DAY 11 - Sep 26, 2025 - Thu - Florence/Pisa/San Gimignano/Siena

on this day we woke up bright and early and made our way to the florence train station where we were being picked up by the tour group that we'd signed up with

at the train station we got some food and then we were picked up by our tour group and walked to the coach bus to begin our tour

the first leg of the tour was an hour-ish long ride to pisa, where we stopped and saw the leaning tower of pisa and had some quick fries

then we got back on the bus to go to a local winery and had the most bland meal i've perhaps ever had along with a wine tasting that of course we did not take part in lol

at the winery after lunch we enjoyed the gorgeous views of the italian (tuscan) countryside and also there was a cat on the property that esa and i played with for a few minutes

after lunch we got back on the bus to go to a place called san gimignano which was my favourite stop of the day

it's an old town that was maintained from way back when and it's just so gorgeous with some amazing views

at the end of the hour or so there, yasir took esa to the bathroom and asked for me to get him a gelato - i got 3 cones and it was such a windy day they all literally flew from the cone in droplets onto my dress because it took esa and yasir FOREVER in the bathroom lol

anyway, we came back to the bus and were on our way to the world unesco heritage site of siena, where we were supposed to have a guided tour

i gave up my spot on the guided tour because i thought esa was getting fairly tired and hungry, so the two of us just went to a cafe and had some gelato while yasir did the tour

then we went back to the main square which was the meetup spot and back on the bus and back to the b&b

DAY 12 - Sep 27, 2025 - Fri - Florence/Milan

on this day we woke up at the b&b, did our packing

i took a quick shower in the morning - which i'm only mentioning because i want to memorialize this esa-story here; prior to my shower, yasir quickly went to the washroom to wash his hands. after he was done, there was not a towel immediately available so he sort of shook his hands and of course the water droplets from his hands fell to the floor. while esa was still fully in earshot, i gave yasir some sass in the sarcastic form of: "great, why don't you wet the whole floor so i slip and die?". esa immediately yelled "I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE, MAMA!" and of course i realized what i'd done so i told him it's totally okay, i'm not going to die yet and i was just joking. and then went into the shower lol

i was maybe 4 minutes in the shower when i heard knocking on the door so i called out to ask who it was - it was my little widdle baby boy asking: "mama have you died?" sigh

of course i respnded by saying no, baby i haven't

another couple of minutes later he just walked right in to the bathroom to confirm that i had in fact, not died.

and the final piece of this "occasional" trauma - let's call it that - that presented itself was later that morning when esa needed to go pee himself, but when he got to the toilet, he got scared and told his abba (who had taken him) that he didn't want to die....

my poor baby, i am so sad and remorseful and even a bit ashamed of what i said and who knows what level of anxiety he faced this morning...but almost more than that (though bad on me, again) i'm amazed that my 4 year old has the depth of understanding that he does about death....that frankly scared me a little bit....

anyway, that was the whole story. after getting breakfast, we came back to our room and got ready - i had already completed my packing beforehand but yasir was still not done so he finished up and then we checked out and went to the train station where we waited another two hours before our scheduled train to milan

the remainder of this day i'm going to title - yasir is the fucking worst sometimes.

when we got to the b&b at milan (took a cab from the train station), we came in and yasir immediately went on his phone

the day before, something kind of big happened which was yasir's bank account was closed because he did a transaction here in italy and it got dinged as suspicious activity so yasir was (i suppose, rightfully so) stressed about this

but when we got into the b&b, tired, and hungry, and knowing that we had laundry to get done almost immediately AND knowing that i had started my period and needed pads - yasir chose to spend an hour and a half on his phone just trying to figure out what happened

i understand the gravity of the situation - but FUCKING COME ON, man you could have done that AFTER dinner and putting esa to sleep could you not!?

then finally we left, literally 10 minutes before the nearest laundromat was supposed to close and turns out they didn't offer next day service

and by then esa had started saying he was hungry

so carrying all the laundry in esa's stroller, i decided we could go to the burger place and grab some food first because my baby was tired and hungry

but that place was closed

i would have gone to literally any other of the multiple open cafes in the area just to get a really quick bite into esa and walk back

but yasir instead chose this moment in time to ask a rando on the street about where to find good desi food and then proceeded to take us to this place via tram (as opposed to sitting a 4 minute walk away from where we were staying....) to get his goddamn fucking mutton biryani

this, after he yelled at me for only ever caring about food - after i yelled at him for literally wasting our time this evening

so we went and ate and came back and i put esa to sleep while of course yasir fucked off again to get his water bottles for his daily metamucil intake - fuck me amirite?

and then when he got back and after esa was finally asleep, i left around 9:10-ish PM to the closest self serve laundromat in the area and did my laundry for the next couple of hours

uber'ed there and uber'ed back for ridiculous fares, but thank goodness that the laundry was done - i wasn't able to get my pads, though because i had needed to pee really badly but such is life

when i got back, yasir had slept with esa and i pulled out the sofa bed and slept there

DAY 13 - Sep 28, 2024 - Sat - Milan

on this day we woke up and i had already picked a place that i wanted to get breakfast from - it was called mugs & co

we went and luckily were able to get a table there (i say luckily because it was full and they were asking for reservations for all the other folks that came)

it took a few tries to get our order correct, but we got breakfast and then went on our way to the duomo

before we got there, we stopped by a church where a wedding was happening and esa somehow managed to find a shark bracelet (baby shark merch) which he insisted on purchasing (successfully)

when we got to the duomo, the tickets were sold out for terrace, so instead yasir purchased the skip the line tickets for entry and we went in to see

after that we went to the galleria vittorio emanuele ii and walked around for a bit

then we grabbed some lunch and a bathroom break at the local mcdonald's - i mention bathroom break because i needed to go, and there was a long line up. and as we got to the front of the line we realized that this HUGE mcd's right across from duomo milano had only F O U R toilets (i'm speaking re: women's bathroom, can't say what the men's was like) of which 1 was out of order and 1 stall literally did not have a DOOR on it. a lady behind me chose to go into the men's bathroom because she couldn't wait and another lady behind me chose to go into the stall without a door because she couldn't wait - overall pretty terrible situation.

anyway, after that, we decided to take the hop on hop off bus through milan and rode it for a full loop to see and hear about the interesting places

and after the hop on hop off we decided to try and go to the sforzesco castle - but on the way we stopped for gelato and realized it was getting late, so we instead decided to come back to the b&b

we came back to the b&b and grabbed dinner at a doner/shawarma place on the way, where esi had some falafel for the first time ever

then quickly before heading back to the b&b i went and grabbed some eggs and bread so the following 2 mornings we could just have breakfast at the b&b (this location was basically a full apartment) and then we got back and went to bed

DAY 14 - Sep 29, 2024 - Sun - Milan

the next morning we woke up, had breakfast, i took a shower and got dressed and we headed out the door in the afternoon (we really had a super chill sunday morning)

first we stopped at the mubo museum right near our b&b because the building looked kind of cool and esa played on the chalkboard for a little while

then we kept walking at a leisurely pace down through the city towards our destination - the sforzesco castle/sempione park - when i say leisurely i mean we took many stops to walk around various areas and see the buildings because it was a really chill day for us

before getting to duomo, we also had lunch at this place called roadhouse (looked like a jack-astors-esque chain) where yasir accidentally ordered beef tartare thinking it was steak lol

then we took the hop on hop off again because our previous day's ticket was still valid and again took a full loop back to the duomo - the reason for taking it was to see if we could get closer to the castle via the bus but it really didn't do much to help us get closer so we got back off at duomo and walked over

after walking through the castle and sempione park, we decided it was time to get back to the b&b

DAY 15 - Sep 30, 2024 - Mon - Milan/Venice

the next morning we woke up, packed our stuff, had breakfast, and checked out of the b&b and took a taxi back to milan central train station

while yasir dealt with getting our seats (yet AGAIN at the goddamn last minute), esa and i sat and ate at mcdonald's

then we finally got on our train to go to venice and arrived there around 3:00 PM-ish and made our way to the b&b

we had a hard time getting to the b&b because yasir is shit at following google maps directions or reading messages and then when we got in it was kind of overwhelming and i had an altercation with the b&b owner over the phone - in which he straight up yelled at me...

anyway, whatever that story for another time (it does have a happy conclusion, so happy to report on that for now)

after we settled in, we went outside to walk around and explore for a bit and then we came back to the b&b and slept

DAY 16 - Oct 1, 2024 - Tue - Venice

the next morning we woke up and had breakfast on the terrace in the b&b which was lovely (and would have been excellent if it wasn't for the mosquitoes)

we also chatted with the other guests there who had come from australia, whom yasir told that our whole trip had been planned meticulously by chatGPT and completely dismissed all of my effort...lol so that was fun

then we got ready and headed out to explore the area

first we stopped at a nearby church where an artistic exhibition was being hosted - the name of the exhibit was "another one bites the dust" and it was by an artist named yu hong held at the Chiesetta della Misericordia

after that, we walked through the streets of venice and went to the liberia acqua alta - i had seen on tiktok that this super old bookstore had a gondola you could just go and sit in and take pictures in at the back, though unfortunately this was not the case

after i took a quick stroll through the bookstore, we were on our way again to fondamenta nuove (9) to catch the boat to the islands of murano and burano

we got on the boat and stopped at burano where we walked through the super colourful houses and had lunch and then gelato

after that we went back on the boat to get to murano, though we only really got off the boat in murano to get esa to the bathroom

burano is known for it's local lacemaking and murano is known for it's local glass blowing

after murano we got back to venice and headed to the rialto bridge - which is a main attraction in venice

after rialto, yasir was feeling a bit out of energy so we went to grab a quick coffee and phone charge at a local cafe

once we were done there we went to saint marks' square and then back to rialto

after that we had dinner at a local shawarma place and then esa insisted on having gelato and then we went back to the b&b and slept

DAY 17 - Oct 2, 2024 - Wed - Venice/Toronto

this was our last morning - we needed to get to the airport so i had woken up much earlier to finish up my packing and shower

then we got ready, didn't have breakfast and made our way to the closest boat station to get a water boat to the airport in venice

then we got to the airport and ate some food after check in, baggage line, customs, etc and boarded

at the very last minute while we were going into the aircraft i thought i'd lost my phone so i ran out and tried looking for it - turns out it was in my backpack all along

then we flew back home to canada and went to mama and baba's for a few hours

at night, we got back in the car and came home - that was such a treacherous drive because it started off okay but the neend ke jhonkay i experienced during it were w i l d

but anyway, shukar alhumdullilah we made it home around midnight and that was the end of our trip to ITALY 2024 :)

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deathmybride · 4 months ago

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*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ these violent delights | davos blackwood (part 3) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ship: davos blackwood x fem!oc

warnings: angst, descriptions of battle

summary: cersha and davos face the aftermath of their decisions.

word count: 1551

a/n: thanks so much for all the love on parts 1 and 2! i'd like to give special thanks to @aemondslove @disillusioned-phantasma @anaviieiraaa @deepestlovert @flordiakilos @kitty2694 @kpopfanfictionfantacies @sometings @nikkilsworld @gladiatorgladiator @borislava17 @oshun22 and most especially @spider-stark for their support by re-blogging or commenting on one or both of the previous parts. It really means the world to me, and I can't express how grateful I am for any feedback or support on this series! It is quickly becoming longer than I anticipated so do let me know if you want to read more :)

Dusk had settled by the time their bowls were empty. Cersha’s eyes were dark pools as she regarded him, their stillness unbroken but for the flickering candlelight. They were tapers made from beeswax, and they sweetened the air between them. Davos picked his teeth broodily with a fish bone and tried to hide the burden of her stare.

“I must return to Stone Hedge.” She rose to her feet and took up her belt and scabbard.

“What?” His eyes darted to her. “You can’t leave!”

“Men, ever the authority.” She tutted, though her tone softened when she saw the panic in his eyes. “My father will be worried. I will return to you on the morrow, on my honour.”

“You ran away from home in the midst of a battle!” Davos struggled to sit forward. “If you go now your father will lock you up for good.”

“You know nothing of my father.”

“I know my father.” A pleading look creased his features. “He coddles my sisters like baby lambs. That might not be the case for you, but listen to me now. If my daughter disappeared like that- might have been dead for all I know- I’d never let her out of my sight again.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Well, no.” He flushed.

“Not even a base-born child with dirt beneath her nails?” Her wry smile faded as she saw the longing in his eyes, her hand wresting on the pommel of her short-sword.

“Not one.” He lowered his face as he shook his head. “But that’s not the point. You know I’m speaking true, if you leave now you might never come back.”

“I must.” She pulled her grey cloak about her shoulders and fastened it. To Davos, she looked like an outlaw queen.

“You snatched me from the battlefield,” He went on, eyes hardening in anger like a cornered dog. “You stole my valour, you sullied my name as a Blackwood, and what now? You’d leave me to starve? I have dishonoured myself time and again this day and I’ve yet to have my fill of it. I beg you now, Bracken, don’t leave me here.”

“You are thankless.” She muttered, slinging her quiver across her torso. “I found you wounded and unarmed, and I spared you where my kin would have cut your throat. You went with me willingly, and you call me turncloak? And still you make demands of me! More, more, more! What more should I give a man like you? I have already given too much.”

“And I’ve taken too much! This never should have happened, but it has, and now it must be righted. Kill me now, or stay and nurse me, but don’t abandon what you started.”

She stalked around the table until she stood before him on the bed.

“You started this as much as I.” She said darkly. “I will stay with you until you can walk unaided. From then, you will find you own way back to Raventree Hall and speak of this to no-one. The tale you tell in its place is up to you.”

Dawn had not yet broken when Cersha woke from her restless slumber. A week of sleep atop a folded spare blanket under the table had stiffened her bones and she ached for her feather bed at Stone Hedge. Night after night, Davos asked her into his bed and night after night she refused, tempting as the offer was. ‘Let’s stop playing games,’ he would shuffle close to the wall and open his arms, voice low and gravelly with exhaustion, but she would steadfastly stick to her place on the floor. Even behind the defences of the table legs, her dreams always were fraught with choking smoke and splashes of boiling blood, and often she woke sweating and screaming for her father, her stomach roiling with guilt for hiding from him. She never left the hidden clearing but under the cover of night, and often she and Davos would sit in the grass outside the cottage and listen to the search parties call for her as they passed by.

The weather had been mercifully still, and while the mist had cleared, there was enough smoke still in the air that they could keep a fire overnight, and this morning it had burned down to a low smoulder. When she stirred the embers she saw the curve of Davos’ sleeping frame in the spark-light. The last of the poppy tea had gifted him a deep and unbroken slumber, and he did not twitch or whimper under the burden of dreams. She could not ignore the pang of guilt in her stomach as she turned from him and slipped into the night.

The smoke from the burning mill still hung in the air and stretched the first half-light of dawn into a pink haze when she returned, grey eyes clouded by ghosts. The Blackwood sat up in bed, dark eyed, hunched and bristling like a squalling raven.

“You’re up early.” She remarked hollowly, setting her bow by the door and throwing a sack of morels and watercress down on the table.

“You left me.”

“I’m back now, am I not?” She avoided his eyes, stripping off her quiver.

“You said you wouldn’t leave without telling me.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “For all I knew you were gone for good!”

“I brought us a rabbit.” She unhooked the carcass from her belt and held it up by the ears. The paws knocked together as she shook it. “Be grateful.”

Davos scoffed but said nothing more, instead taking to glowering in silence.

“You will have to walk without me today.”

“Why?” He saw noticed then that she gripped the table’s edge with such force that her knuckles turned white. He spoke her name softly, urgently. “Cersha. What happened?”

“The Blackwoods have taken Stone Hedge. I saw my family in chains, our Sept ablaze… I saw Queen Rhaenyra’s banners hanging from our windows. I saw men hanged in Blackwood colours, their feet bound…”

“Deserters,” Davos spoke, horror ringing through his voice. “From the border stones. I cannot go back.”

“The lives we had are over. Was it worth the price?” Cersha turned, and when he saw her glassy eyes were mirrors of his own, he would have asked her the same question.

“Why were you at the battlefield that day?” His voice had lost the heat of accusation. “Why is this our fate?”

“I came for Aeron.” She admitted, sitting for the first time at the edge of the bed. “The news reached us early that he had been slain in a skirmish over the border, but fool that I am, I thought… I hoped I would find him there, wounded but alive, and well enough to follow me to safety. Of course, when I saw the carnage…” For a moment she returned to the slicing reek of blood, to the roar of scores of screaming men, the clashing, bashing metal on metal, to the men wallowing and moaning in the welter of mud and gore. “I knew it was hopeless. I thought I would die that day. I nearly turned and ran, but I saw you trying to stand and I thought, in a place such as this, where the Stranger walks amongst us and mud smears across the heraldry… a life is a life. If I saved you, perhaps in some way I would be saving him.” Her voice broke and a hand flew up to cover her face. “How could I know it was your sword that cut him down?”

An apology turned to ash in his mouth, and Davos swallowed it drily, feeling it take seed in his stomach. He reached for her, brushing his fingertips across the back of her hand. Could she blame it on the desperation for comfort, or genuine forgiveness, neither could say, but she released her fist and let him lace their fingers together.

“I must ride to Riverrun and appeal to Oscar. He will not stand for this wanton violence.”

“Your old flame?” He smiled thinly, and to his relief she managed a chuckle.

“He is my friend, but not fit to be my husband.” She turned to him and squeezed his hand. “Will you come with me?”

“I can’t. I cut down the first man, I fled the battlefield, wherever I go, I’ll be hanged. I’m fucked, Cersha.”

“Oscar is merciful, as is his grandfather. He could send you to the Watch.”

“I don’t want to join the fucking Watch! Come on, Cersha, if Oscar Tully is as just as you say, he will avenge your family. He will put this to rights.” There was a question in his eyes, an unmistakable eagerness.

“What do you ask of me?”

“Ride north with me. We could seek asylum with your kin on Bear Isle. There is a war brewing and this is the first of many battles. I would not have you caught up in this, you are far too precious to me-”

“Davos.”

“Please. I have nothing left to lose but you.”

“Don’t speak like that.” She whispered, aching inside and out. “I must help my family.”

A shuddering sigh left his lips and defeat filled his eyes.

“Then I will ride with you, my lady.”

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yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit · 6 months ago

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Gr- the fuck why is there no yellow letter???-emlin [:(((] update February 18th 2024

-_- Tired and sore. Didn't do much between last update and yesterday. I wanted to clean and organize more but my joints are really fucked up, and the neighbour is a little bitch man. But today I re-organized some of the totes under the bed so I can start going through them one at a time, and so I can get some of the random other totes, tool boxes, furniture pieces etc under the bed... And then I put a bunch of the other stuff under the bed.

I emptied out at least 5.5 totes through all of this, and emptied about half of the stuff out of the rest of the apartment by getting it all in there.

I wanted to have more done by the end of this weekend because I wanted to be on form tomorrow morning to go replace my health card, but I still don't know where my birth certificate is, I still haven't found clear instructions about it online and etc...

I think I'm done for today if I want any chance in hell of getting out there tomorrow, but like, I would also like to get more done?

It's approaching 6pm though and if I make noise after that time, my neighbour might complain again.

The main goal right now is less to go through everything in detail and more to just get things either fully unpacked or condensed into fewer bins so I can get the apartment as empty looking as possible by having as much as I can either put away or in what is now effectively a closet area.

I'm kind of just mostly chilly and sore and have a headache and about 101 food cravings.

~*~ February 26th

I watched all of the wheel of time, all of the witcher and all 4 episodes of blood origins or what have you... In like 2? 3? maybe 7 days idk.

Mostly I needed rest and there's little point in rushing to get my card because whatever was in my wrist seemed to have torn open again, and the swelling was minimal and hiding the bump, and now that the swelling is going down I am not sure if the bump is still there, and cancer doesn't generally drain and go away. If it comes back I'll go in, but for now the main goal is still getting to full code purple.

I did some more cleaning and organizing today, but my brain feels super scattered and I'm extra tired.

~*~

March 18th

So it certainly feels like it's been over a month, keep coming on to update and then forgetting what I was even going to write.

I started being so sleepy and exhausted again that I was sleeping all day, then had that dream about a vampire or something telling me my adenosine levels were high, started eating more sugar and more phosphorus... And then had the energy to wash all the dishes I had fallen behind on while organizing and then mostly sleeping and watching tv since.

The problem was though that I then ran out of cream for my tea, and 3 days into that I woke up to the worst case of bulging fucking goiter I have ever had...

Because apparently I was -so- successfully avoiding any extra dietary iodine that 3 days in to no cream [my main source] my thyroid was swelling to try to get more iodine... Easy fix though, started eating ice-cream daily and canned tuna, etc... The problem is my tummy isn't the most happy because I have stopped eating the lactase in the de-lactosed cream and the ice-cream is just straight up dairy.

So on the bright side I am back to sleeping mostly just 8 hours a day by increasing my caloric intake and having more phosphorus, and I am *staying* caught up on dishes, but I really need to get cream and I am out of alcohol for disinfecting my teeth.

I don't know if I have ever been this consistently on top of dishes because before the plague I had roommates or partners constantly filling the kitchen with more and not washing their share. That had been a consistent fixture since I left home, starting with my first 'husband'. I was putting in the work and getting nowhere. The past 5 years have been overshadowed with recovery from fuckery, mostly said plague, and I have been in a cycle of catching up and falling behind again on damn near everything except laundry.

Now though, I wash the dishes from the previous day while I am cooking my breakfast at 5 am.

I am up to two big loads of laundry that I will probably wash in 4 batches [Or in the sink?], but that was mostly due to running myself down arranging all the totes and the bed and then being smacked down with chronic fatigue really bad, even before the goiter. First time I have had more than one load of laundry in like 3 years now.

If living alone means simply staying on top of all regular chores without much issue, then once I have this place fully set up, that -should- mean no longer struggling daily just to maintain my living space and getting back to creative hobbies like writing and painting, drawing etc... And finishing all my projects, if very slowly and around sleeping 10-12 hours every day.

Mostly, it's a relief to see that left to my own devices, even with long covid on top of CFS I can still manage to -if barely- take care of myself under normal circumstances and have a clean enough apartment. Even if that means doing nothing all day except making food, eating it and cleaning up. I just have to get past the added strain of moving in.

I'm also starting to notice that the whole "I'm less a 'needs a strict routine' autistic and more a 'I need to be controlling what I am doing at any given moment' autistic" thing might be in part due to chronic fatigue and having to live around other people.

See, I can't skip sleep or force myself awake without horrid migraines and narcolepsy & seizure-like symptoms, and everything wakes me up really easy or keeps me awake, so having to live around other people even existing -but especially making demands of me that might leave me exhausted mid-day or sore, or having allergy attacks, or otherwise stressed or run down, etc...- kind of means not being able to sleep at consistent times ever, or rest at consistent times, which makes having to do anything else on a strict schedule impossible to do without it interrupting me when I am trying to sleep or rest, which is rage-inducing, because I am exhausted, so I always hated the demands of a strict routine because it was always demanding I be awake while exhausted and demanding I sleep when I just got the energy to clean, and stuff like that, there was just no accounting for a regular schedule no matter what I tried... But now that I am actually 95% in control of my environment, I am finding more and more that I fall naturally into certain routines and would be upset if someone tried to demand I break them. I have been brushing my teeth more consistently because I do it before any time I lay down, and I have been doing the dishes every morning and cooking breakfast at a -mostly- set time, right when I get up and early enough to eat before low blood sugar makes me sleepy again. There are still days where I sleep in, or nap, but I know that as I recover that will happen less and if I need extra sleep I'll end up going to bed early instead of interrupting other routines that are helping me.

I am still trying to get myself to re-organize the bathroom again after the business with the totes, and still staring down cleaning the floors again, and still quite bloody exhausted, but I am starting to do little chunks of organizing or cleaning each day and having been eating and doing the dishes pretty forking consistently.

I need to go out soon for fresh veggies and cream. Though, tbh, if it wasn't for the cream thing, I would stay in hibernation for another 1-2 months.

~*~

March 20th 2024

I halfway reorganized the bathroom, cleaned around the sink, finally got to mostly cleaning off my floor, etc and so on and have been washing dishes daily and cooking 2 meals a day. That's progress.

I blame the increase in sugar and phosphorus. I keep finding myself standing in front of messes and automatically cleaning up the way I do when I actually have energy. I get really ADHD about cleaning randomly whenever things happen to be in front of me, and when I have enough energy overall things just get done at some point on a good enough schedule even if the way I am cleaning lacks any system or order. This is good.

I need to actually wash the floors with cleaner next, and wash some things and some laundry in the bathroom so I can finish tidying in there. Then there's still the business of finishing the re-organizing I left off at "good enough for now" when my neighbour last complained to the landlord about the noise of me cleaning my apartment.

Then I order alcohol, do some small groceries and get my health card renewed and then make an appointment for my wrist, where the lump is back again.

I found 4 games I wanted on super sale on steam and got them. one was 2$ one was about 7 one was around 12 and one was 25. I have plenty to play and stream for a long time now while I wait for the next zero dawn game to actually go on sale.

~*~

March 27th

Got some more organizing and resting done and then playing Sons Of The Forest became my entire life for a week. They did the peaceful mode well, there was actually no combat, just cut scenes. My only note is there was still jump scares that were intentional jump scares. I would personally include an option to turn those off, since some people may be playing peaceful due to heart problems etc...

Really pecking away at cleaning and organizing in a more sustainable way and starting to feel like I am getting some energy back since increasing the phosphorus and sugar/calories in my diet. Thank the psychic vampire in my dream who told me my blood/body levels of adenosine where high?

I did then promptly run out of cream, my main source of moderated iodine, and within 3 days developed goiter, severely. I manage graves disease-like symptoms of my immune system constantly tearing open my thyroid gland without actually killing it by restricting iodine to control the excess hormones that would otherwise release [T4, T3 mostly], and apparently I was doing a good job keeping my levels just high enough to avoid goiter because within 3 days of running out of cream, my neck was a puffy mess.

Now I still have pain in my neck and chest when I breathe or breathe too deeply, but I think it's residual swelling and autoimmune agitation left from the goiter. I immediately increased my iodine intake until the visible swelling all went away, and now I have done my first groceries for the year, including 4 things of cream and a bunch of dairy whipped topping.

It is 11 am and I have been awake since midnight, done my daily dishes, groceries, changed the "cycles" on a sink of laundry and cleaned the cat puke out of the window.

I also re-organized just enough this morning to have my living area back out of the storage pile, for now, because I knew I would come home with donuts and treats and want to play TOTK and eat them. I haven't played TOTK in months now, and then I couldn't because of the last re-organizings dumping everything into my little living area.

The grocery store renovated itself while I was in hibernation. The lady there was cheery and personable with me and says they did it last year. Their machines hate me. It wants everything in the bagging area untouched but they never make the bagging area big enough to hold your stuff, so the machine kept yelling at me :( The lady kept encouraging me to just ignore it and hit the button, which made it less stressful than usual.

Yesterday I cleaned some cupboard fronts etc... and ordered new whisky. Later this week I am hoping to organize more and procure a recycling bin. I'm developing a system for laundry that should be easier on my back than washing my clothes in a tote in the shower stall.

I'd be playing TOTK now except the red joycon isn't charged, I am hoping just because it wasn't clicked down all the way. But I have my living area back, treats, a clean kitchen, fresh veggies and fruits :)

~*~

April 5th 2024

It just didn't click down and charge properly. Joy!

So 'dishes caught up' now means daily. Daily. Not weekly. Joy of joy of not having roommates is when I do all my dishes all the dishes are done and no one else is in my way of there being no dishes or in my way of maintaining my health as best I can.

Been doing a little sink load of laundry daily, almost caught up. Now if I do a little sink load of laundry here and there... There will be no laundry. Ever. "caught up" had meant no more than 1-2 washer loads at any given time, and has for at least the last 3 years, but now "caught up" will mean all clothing hand washes within the week, whether or not a landlord provides me with functional washing facilities.

Today was garbage day. And recycling. Let myself sleep through garbage and recycling for the first time last recycling week because I was so exhausted and it just wasn't in the cards. I make so little garbage, but my tiny recycle bin was distressingly full. Now it is gone.

There is only the floor... Again. Again. Again, the floor. But that will be weekly soon now too. The floor cannot be more than weekly, I haven't the health for it.

And then there's the last bit of organizing.

And then my health card, and my taxes, and re-applying for COHB because apparently you have to re-apply yearly even though it's supposed to last 6 years? gee I hope they don't bone me on rent, haha.

And then there is the beginning of the donation purge.

I have been trying to play games on stream lately. Puzzle games and stuff with a creative peaceful mode.

I feel like I did nothing today, yet I did the weekly chores, laundry, dishes and made a big pot of soup I will be eating for days.

I want to spend time writing but I don't have the energy today, not just yet, but it does feel like I am catching up and recovering at the same time because I am taking things slow enough.

~*~

April 12th

I have filed my stupid taxes, done my stupid little laundry, washed my stupid little dishes and taken out my stupid little garbage >:(

Next I mayhaps wash my stupid little floor and cook a stupid little meal...

The weather is nice though, it's raining and I love that

~*~

Uh... April 29th 2024

8:20 am

Errrr I have been trying to sleep at regular times and that is going uh... Listen I have said before i have all the symptoms of narcolepsy, but now also I have horrible insomnia and am starting to get night terrors and sleep paralysis in ways that haven't been an issue for me since I had parents forcing me on a daily schedule for school... I'm going to follow this until I see how deep/bad it goes, and then try to assess from there how to manage my sleep "cycles"...

It's just, when you also have chronic fatigue it can be hard to define to doctors that sometimes the sleepiness comes on in a really sudden episode and is impossible to resist without getting a migraine... without them just brushing it off as part of the chronic fatigue. But I get these sudden sleepy episodes at random in addition to general fatigue, and I experience having fatigue or being sleepy as two completely separate phenomenons. Sometimes I am exhausted but just cannot fall asleep at all, and sometimes I'm not tired really at all but I am stupidly sleepy and just can't do anything to feel alert. Not sure what to do about it though because my metabolism issues makes taking any medication a challenge or outright dangerous.

I'm only sleeping 3-4 hours at night now though, and just lay there awake no matter what I try until after my morning alarm, so I eventually gave up and started napping during the day because otherwise I am useless for weeks at a time.

I am now doing dishes every other day and laundry in the sink every alternate day, and that's going well, and so long as I let myself nap I keep slowly chipping away at everything else.

I had gotten the groceries done but I need to go out again because I am out of cat treats and Pumpkin is refusing to eat without them.

I also had to get on putting up a kind of tent wall on the open side of my bed because Pumpkin decided to pee on my bed when he got mad at me. Now I have bedding to wash added to the pile :(

The mass in my wrist is pretty clearly fluid filled, and there's only one kind of tumour that can be soft and still be cancerous, and this seriously doesn't seem like it could be that. I still need to deal with it, but I think I have to get my health card after the next time I do groceries. The chest pain has fully cleared up now that my thyroid has been managed for a while.

I got the bathroom all the way clean and organized except a box I can't move out of there, 2 log ends and the shop vac and laundry. And then I spilled soil all over my toilet and had to clean it up. After a bit more arranging the shop vac will go next to my fridge... Sort of on my fridge, because that's the corner I keep the mop and broom, filters etc and the best place I have to put it.

Slowly I am handling one detail after another and I guess if I keep this up the apartment will be in code purple some time this year. The goal I guess is to get the storage downsized to just what supplies or extra furniture etc fits under the bunk bed and in behind my clothing rack so everything else can be open space. That would make this place livable long term and actually nice looking. Then I can worry about decorating etc... I do also want to bump the desks over toward the window up onto the wall bump though, so the bunk bed has room to actually rest on the floor, or otherwise make 4 proper feet for it instead of it being rested up on furniture to keep it a foot off the floor.

The big three next projects to fix the place up are:

-fix the chair frame and upholster it, in doing so use up the old mattress cover, some foam and the two sleeping bags

-use spare fabric and all the fluff I have to make a truly boyfriend/girlfriend shaped pillow and in doing so use up all the old spare pillows and batting.

-Repair and stabilize both my book cases and in doing so use up a bunch of scrap particle board so I can throw the rest out and get those painted.

Between that and moving my power tools into my green chest that should actually free up a lot of clutter. The next step then is designing a vest pattern and using up all the clothes and material I was going to make vests out of, going through my t-shirts and making 18th century style men's shirts out of that fabric, etc and so on until I don't have any bins of clothes or fabric left and actually have clothes I want to wear. I have started designing the vest pattern but I want to drape it in addition to making a block pattern, and see what the difference is, and then tweak the final pattern on my body before starting to make multiples. etc...

I am still using all of my time an energy to clean, organize and cook though. All day every day.

Also it turns out I can't have an RDSP at all unless I get 'officially' qualified for the disability tax credit. I ought to qualify, but if they deny me, it means I cannot save up more than 40k for a house without losing it or my pension, and so I'll have to mortgage a house in a way that is liable to turn predatory and could just mean going through all of that only to lose the house and end up with nothing after 10-20 years of saving, scrounging and work.

They really probably will try to argue that even though I am too disabled to ever employ, I'm not disabled enough to be granted the ability to plan for my future without employment... Because our government is like that. As official policy there's a huge gap there you can fit into where they just deny you future planning.

Covid is also fucking me over, because as much as I am disabled enough that having a care worker would mean a vastly improved quality of life, I cannot be risking my life every time they come over, and if I am not going to use services like that, it's very hard to demonstrate to my doctors that I need them, and that is mostly how you qualify for the tax credit.

So because I need to be left alone in order to be at my healthiest, I end up needing to spend my every spare moment just maintaining myself and my environment, and then also I don't qualify to be legally allowed to save up enough to try to mortgage a house ever. This means I have to be able to pay rent forever and if I ever do need a care worker, that will be the year I die of covid.

I can only hope that my health continues to improve a bit, that I get better once I am on top of everything, and that maybe the government increases our pensions enough to actually cover rent or a mortgage payment properly for a fixed rate 10-20 year mortgage. Basic income could save me, or maybe selling a book for enough money?

Otherwise I have no long term plan or ability to provide for my own future because they won't allow it and if I ever get forced into the wrong kind of rental situation I'll just be forced to die a slow horrible death from corona exposure. Our government is doing such a good job [sarcasm]. Everything is in shambles.

On the other hand if I do qualify officially for the tax credit, I'd get extra money and I'd be approved for an RDSP. I meet the criteria, it's just a question of whether a doctor will back me up on paper. I am already having flashbacks to being rejected for my disability pension twice over the span of 10 years of living on welfare.

But hey.... My dishes are done and my laundry fits in a tote, so... yay

~*~ May 23rd 2024

I've been rather distracted making sure my laundry and dishes stay caught up and that I try to get through everything else.

I was expecting to make more progress a lot faster and was hoping to be in full code purple by now.

Had the bright idea to try to fix my sleep schedule and put it to the ultimate test whether I could get regularly scheduled sleep if I really fucking tried to force it... I have been making separate updates for that and the impact it's had on what I am able to do in a day: The great regular sleep experiment of 2024... Mixed results. Ended up doing groceries for the past two Monday/Tuesdays.. or past 3? Whatever, I needed food. Next week is trying to get across town for my health card for sure. I'm too tired to even think, really. Maybe by next update for real I'll be properly settled into my apartment enough that the main priority can be donating a bunch of stuff and then diving headlong into physical projects to downsize the rest. I'd like to get you the shocking before and after photos.

I've been doing as much cleaning or organizing as I have had energy for.

#personal update

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xxcynicalxcuriosityxx · 1 year ago

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It’s getting late and Im not gonna be able to sleep. I don’t even want to sleep because every time I do, I dream of you again and it hurts me to the core. It hurts to wake up and realize that this was just a dream, that none of it was real. I’d like to believe that perhaps our souls really met in the dream but I can never know for sure. It’s this uncertainty that I hate. Not knowing if it’s just my own illusion or if there is more to this life than the physical reality. But the universe knows I’ve missed you. And I will always miss you.. There is no remedy for how much I miss your voice, your touch, your smile, your laugh, your brown eyes. No amount of time can take away that longing to see your face, to be able to hug you and tell you how deeply sorry I am. No matter how great the distance is between us, it can never truly break the bond we once shared. There is no cure. You weren’t just a lover, you were also my best friend, my closest spiritual companion, my person my bebegorl and you will remain in my heart forever.

My words cannot do my grief any justice. I could write a book and you would still never know how I feel. Knowing that you won’t tell me what’s going on with you knowing that you prefer to be my secret friend knowing that you might even hate me, is just suffocating me to the point of insanity. My voice is screaming inside, begging for you to hear me out and just listen. My hands are pounding on the walls of the prison in my mind. I want to break free. I’m desperate to get out. My love for you is suffocating me, so much that it has manifested as a physical illness. Each thought of you brings tremendous pain. I can’t breathe and bare your loss. I am not strong enough. I’m not brave enough to live.

There are days when I manage to hold on to some kind of hope the kind that everything will be okay in the end and this isn’t our end and then there are days when I don’t mind having a disease that could be a potential cause of death. What else could liberate me from being in love with you? For a while I was doing quite well. you appeared in my dream and kissed me a few days ago, and I woke up feeling the feelings for you all over again. The same way I fell in love with you 8 years ago. Why do I keep falling in love with you in my dreams? I didn’t even like you in the beginning You seemed like a player to me, scratch that you were a player you came off as arrogant and well-aware of how attractive you were to all the girls. I thought you were so proud of yourself. I even laughed at thinking of how you could get all the girls, but surely not me. I would not fall for your charms so I thought. But look at me now – the biggest fool of all. How is that possible?

The saddest part of it all is that we probably won’t end up together. You will live your life on the wild side you’ll get your shit together and just live for you me lol I will settle I will marry someone else, maybe travel and live a meaningless life without you. I will live a life like a person lost in the desert, thirsty and desperately searching for an oasis to fulfill me. This desert will be endless and bleak. My soul is empty without you. There is nothing. Absolutely nothing. How could you abandon me in this desert and forget me so easily? How could you love me more than anyone, make all these promises, How could you let confusion separate us? Why didn’t you fight for me? How did you give up so easily?

All I wanted was to be with you. All I wanted was to sit with you and feel your arms around me. I loved you SO much

I’m sorry I was nothing but a bringer of trouble and pain. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you. I never wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to stay and make love with you every night. I wanted to be your wife someday.

I wish I could turn back time and change everything. I wish I could make things right. Don’t you miss me after all this time? Don’t you want to hear my voice again, feel my face one more time? Don’t you feel the same?

I still think of our moments together. I remember every sensation, every detail and the excitement of our rushing hearts and our trembling, nervous touching, kissing, holding. The touch of your skin is so vivid in my mind. Your lips against mine was the epitome of bliss. You drove me crazy and I would’ve done anything for you.

I cry every day because I miss you. It hurts so much. It’s so excruciatingly painful to have memories of you that will never fade.

If only you were here.. If only I could run to you. Where are you? I miss those good old days when we were just getting to know each other, when we couldn’t control ourselves and gave ourselves into love. I loved being your girlfriend. You were the most amazing thing in my life. The best thing that ever happened to me. I will never forget the day we first met. Well “met” we talked for hours about everything and nothing I truly believed that you were the one. I knew it the moment I fell on top of you on the bed and we locked eyes I knew I didn’t know when or why or even how but I knew. You were gonna wreck me change me forever. You did Ironically,I loved you first. You adored me secretly and now I am the one longing for you from afar.The truth is I have always admired you.. You were everything I ever wanted.I tried so hard to live up to what I thought was your standards, to your expectations of me.

I wish so badly that you would find it in your heart to forgive me. Please, forgive me for whatever happened, for whatever has happened that made you turn away from me. We went From texting and calling and Snapchat ..to texting and Snapchat ..to Snapchat ..to radiate ..to tumblr we’ve slowly but surly grown apart and it wasn’t me this time you grew out of me you started talking less to now barley at all while Iv remained hoping and wishing for your return

I hate how we ended. I hate this silence, tension and pain. I wish from the bottom of my heart that there would be peace between us. That even though you don’t want me I could still have my best friend I love you but I’d rather have you in my life as a best friend then nothing at all because of my feelings

I pray that somehow you will hear the words I want to say, because I miss your presence more than anything. Your absence tortures me. It torments me every second of the day. How I miss you.. How much I miss us.. How it hurts to miss you. I must have done something horrible to you in a past life, to suffer so painfully, to receive no mercy to sit and let life torture me with your absence.

I’m crying now writing this as I have always known that you were and you will always be the love of my life. My soulmate. The keeper of my whole heart. Nothing will change that nobody can replace you or even compare to you.

I just I wish you could understand or just open up and tell me what your thinking or feeling so I could understand you but I know that’s not on the table

I will love you, and I will miss you, until the end of my life, and even in death I will still love you.. just as strongly as I do now..

no matter what, Forever yours ..

Tay

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gremlintheslut · 2 years ago

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forever theirs

Chapter 8•sleepy time trouble

Don't translate or repost my work without my permission.

Master list (main pinned)

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Not much happened after I woke up. I woke up at around 5:30 which was much later than they wanted me up. We sat down and watched tv for the rest of the day because they didn't want me to get hyper so close to bedtime.

Now here I am lying in our big bed tears of frustration run down my face as I try to think of ways to fall asleep. I can't up with anything. Mu daddies would know. My mommy would know. But they're asleep and I'm not waking them up. I don't feel tired at all and I begin to think about what will happen in the morning.

They said they'd poured water on dom before what if I finally fall asleep and I wake soaking and cold because I didn't get up? I cover my mouth as sobs wrack through my body. What if they spank me? There was an empty high chair maybe they had someone else before and they killed them.

They're gonna be so mad. "sweetie what's wrong?" I hear rhea ask in a tone I've never heard before. They pull me towards them and I rest my head on her shoulder and let her hold me. She shushes me and I lay there crying for minutes on end. I finally stop sobbing but tears are flowing and I know my voice will be unsteady.

"tell me what's wrong please?" she says generally worried for me. She wanted to wake up the others but she thought it might have been a nightmare so she decided against it. "I've tried everything I can't sleep please don't be mad," I say expecting her to yell at me or hit me.

But instead, she squeezes me tighter. Not like trying to crush you tight but a soft reassuring tight. "keep trying for me, sweetie. It's okay if you can't and please wake me up if you can't soon" she asks sweetly. I look up at her shocked. She kisses me good night before closing her eyes. The tears finally stop and I rest my head on her chest and close my eyes.

It's easy to relax knowing she won't let me be punished in the morning but there's not a tired bone in my body. I lay there trying for roughly an hour before the tears start again. I tug on rhea's shirt a bit before I hear her speak. "you okay sweetie?" her hand lifting to my face and wiping my tears with her thumb. "can't sleep, mommy" I mumble trying to stop her from hearing the wavering in my voice.

"Why don't we go downstairs and get you a little snack or something?" she says not wanting me to fall asleep sad if I fall asleep at all. I nod my head and she picks me up. I wrap my arms and legs around her and hang off the front of her. Of course, she's actually holding my body weight up by holding my thighs but still.

The feeling of being carried is kind of making my eyelids heavy. We make our way down to the kitchen and rhea opens the fridge. She looks down at me as if waiting for an answer. I turn my head and look at the contents of the fridge. It's filled with my favorites but I make grabie hands at my favorite of all time as it is out of reach.

Mommy gets it for me and we sit down. I sit happily in her lap eating my food. "are you still sore, baby?" she asks. I blush and look at the corner of the room. After a few seconds of her waiting and me staring out the corner of the room motionless. She reaches down and cups her hand over my pussy before squeezing. I squirm in pain as I was still incredibly sore. "yes" she answers for me and I begin eating again.

Once I'm finished I put my dish/rubbish on the table. Rhea grabs it and puts it away. She starts walking upstairs and I rest my head on her chest and close my eyes. She looks down at me lovingly as we make our way to the bed. She lays down with me. I feel my tiredness slip away but I don't say anything and she falls asleep.

After a few hours of laying there motionless, my tears feel never-ending. At around 4 am and I tug on rhea's shirt again. "still can't sleep, baby?" she asks softly and I shake my head. "I was kinda tired when you were walking around with me" I mumble not wanting to bother her. "I can walk around with you till you fall asleep. Is that what you want mommy to do?" she asks and I nod my head. "yes, please mommy"

She gets out of bed and walks around with me. My eyelids are heavy but I still can't sleep. We hear mumbling and shuffling coming from the bedroom. Rhea stops walking and instead rocks me back and forth. "what are you two doing," Finn asks groggily as he stumbles out of the room.

"she can't sleep so I took her down to have a snack thinking maybe it would tire her just a little so she could sleep but she said me carrying her around was making her tired" rhea responds. "I think she likes being rocked more," he says.

Rhea gives him a questioning look and he points at me. I'm half asleep my eyes are barely open and I'm clearly trying to stay awake so I don't miss anything. Rhea chuckles at my cute face. "close your eyes, Finn's going to bed and I'll go to bed when you have" she says and I listen. I feel someone kiss my head followed by Finn saying good night rhea does the same. "good night mommy, good night daddy" I say putting my head on rhea's chest.

"wait" my head shoots up as I call out to Finn. "tell daddies good night for me," I ask and he smiles at me. "I will," he says turning back around towards the bedroom. I put my head back down and close my eyes. I am completely at peace as my mommy rocks me to sleep.

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Words-1063

Thanks for reading love ya-gremlin💋💕💗

#wwe summerslam #wwe nxt #wwe raw #wwe smackdown #wwe x reader #rhea ripley smut #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #demi bennett #wwe finn balor #finn balor #finn balor smut #finn balor daddy #finn balor incubus #Rhea ripley mommy #The judgment day #Forever theirs

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renon4224 · 1 year ago

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Angel Wings

Chapter Four: Saturday, late night, Akari Aizawa

He was letting me rest on him, my head in the crook of his neck, he really did smell like caramel. I could feel his hands on the small of my back, but mine were wrapped around his shoulders. I could see the tip of his scar, it was healing. “You-your scar,” I let go of him, “It’s fading.” He looked hurt?

“That’s not possible,” He looked away, “It’s late, you should get some rest.”

“No, look, the scar was fading,” I grabbed his hand, “May I?”

“May you lift up my shirt?” He said it with a laugh but, his eyes were sad.

“That’s not what I mean, please look.” I let go, “But you’re right, we should get some sleep, wait, where’d everybody go?” I looked out the hallway, no one was there.

“Aizawa must’ve gone to let everyone back inside.”

“Why were they outside?”

“Maybe later, good night, Akari.”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

“Oh,” She looked…dissapointed? “Good night, Bakugou.” She walked outside, back into her room.

I closed my door. “Of course, why would she remember? She’s never remembered anything else that’s happened during the blackouts.” I might as well look, she could’ve just been mistaken. I moved in front of the mirror on my door, and lifted the back of my shirt, she was….right? The bottom of the scar had moved up a couple of centimeters. She really is something. I changed into shorts, and layed down, she healed me, and didn’t even notice.

-Akari Aizawa-

He…wanted me to be safe after leaving the hospital? That was why he doesn’t want me here? What can’t he admit because of me? I don’t hear everything, just the stuff that people say loud enough for me to hear. I’m not stuck in the past. I eat plenty, and I let myself have a lot of luxuries, like the punching bag. I say sorry, because it’s polite, and I’m not afraid of people, I like making other people happy. I think I worry about myself a lot. My seventh birthday…..I had tried to escape from him, but he pinned my arm with a knife, it hurt, but I needed to get away….

-Sunday, Katsuki Bakugou-

It was strange, I woke up this morning, and I thought it was all a dream, but it wasn’t, the scar really had faded, shrunk, it was dissapearing.

I looked at my phone, THREE MESSAGES from Kirishima, great.

Hey, what’s going on?

Sent: 8:30 P.M.

Seriously, are you okay? Why did Aizawa kick everyone out?

Sent: 8:45 P.M.

Why was Miss Aizawa in your room?

Sent: 9:15 P.M.

She got distracted, she thought it was her room.

Sent: 8:12 A.M.

Why was she distracted?

Sent: 8:14 A.M.

Is it because of what you said?

Sent 8:15 A.M.

About the caramel?

Sent: 8:16 A.M.

Sure.

Sent: 8: 20 A.M.

Hey everyone’s going to the mall, shopping, the dorms are empty, you should come with us.

Sent: 8:22 A.M.

I put my phone down, I wasn’t doing shopping, too boring. I opened the door, to see a letter, sealed without a name, just Bakugou. Huh.

April 7th, Saturday

11:21 P.M.

Age 15

Dear Bakugou,

I think I understand why you don’t want me here. I don’t really understand what is so hard to say when I’m around, but okay. And if you want me to not hear something, say it quieter. I’m not stuck in the past, I just can’t let go yet. I didn’t know you were the other person there, but thank you. I eat plenty, the fact that I eat daily is giving me more than I’m used to. I only say ‘sorry’ to people who deserve it. I still don’t know how you know about my seventh birthday, but that is something I would rather not have be common knowledge, please and thank you. I don’t have cold fingers, and I am always okay with whatever happens. I am appalled that you think I want to be hurt again, I know my quirk is powerful and that it hurt whoever was near me when I blacked out. And I have never been scared of myself. Sorry, for, you know, last night. I promise it won’t happen again. Also, I’m sorry for being so mean, and I hope you have a great day!

-Akari Aizawa

Oh, wait, what? She remembered what I said?

Her door opened, “Oh, hi,” She said, now she was super shy, her hair twirled between her fingers.

“Hey,” I waved, then remembered the letter, “Oh yeah, what….what is this all about?”

She blushed, it looked so dark on her light skin, “Oh….I forgot about that, here I can take it back…” She reached for it, I pulled it behind me, “Hey, lemme have it.” She lunged for it.

“Why do you want it back?” I asked, holding it up, she was too short to grab it.

-Akari Aizawa-

Because of what I wrote on the back, “Because I wrote it when I was super tired, I don’t even remember what I wrote, so can I please have it back?”

I jumped for it, he twisted around, so I was facing him and he was facing the mirror, “No.”

I went for it again, this time using Bakugou’s chest as a springboard, holy~ he is pure muscle, I lost my concentration and fell, Bakugou dropped the letter and caught me before I could even hit the floor.

“Thanks.” I said as I leaned back to grab the letter, Bakugou dropped me, “Ow, that hurt,” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

“What’s that on the back?” He asked.

“Nothing, see you.” I got up and walked out of the door, but not before Bakugou grabbed my wrist.

-Katsuki Bakugou-

She was still too small, I could break her wrist with a small tug, “Nope, you’re coming with me.” I led her to the dining room and made her sit down.

“But I’m not hungry.” She hid the letter under her thigh.

“I don’t care, you look like you could break at the smallest amount of pressure.”

“And you feel like a rock.” I think she meant to whisper it, but she’s not that good at whispering.

-Akari Aizawa-

Bakugou blushed, wait did I say that out loud? I cleared my throat, “I assure you I am a lot stronger than you think.”

“That’s not any better than what you said the first time.” He chuckled, it was a musical sound.

I got up to make a bowl of cereal, something to make him happy. I got everything ready and sat down again, “Umm,”

“What?” His voice was light, but irritated.

“Sorry, I’m just not used to sitting down to eat when there’s other people.” I put my hands in my lap.

“Oh.”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

That’s right, she did it last time we ate together too, she picked at it, and waited until I was done so she could ask to clean up.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ll just wait in my room.”

“No, I’ll leave, just make sure you eat.” I took my breakfast and started walking away.

“Get back here, you shouldn’t be leaving, I’ll….find a way to be okay with it?” She was turned away from me, but she sounded so confused.

I walked away, I shouldn’t stay, she’s uncomfortable, and I can help so I will.

----

I had finished my food and was about to go take a shower, “Bakugou! Jerk, you left after I told you not to.” She was in front of me, she looked so angry, like a little ferocious bunny rabbit.

She’s cute when she’s angry, “Yeah, and?”

She stopped glaring for a second and stepped back, then realized that I was only wearing a towel, she covered her eyes, “Oh….sorry, I’ll leave you alone now,” She was bright red.

“Kay.”

-Akari Aizawa-

Pure muscle, but whatever. I walked away, he was so….gorgeous. I could feel him walking behind me, I just wanted to turn around and see the scar, see if I really had been dreaming. I went and sat on the couch, it was raining outside. Bakugou walked past the common room and towards the showers. I sighed, he was so gentle, it was scary.

-Katsuki Bakugou-

I leaned my head against the shower wall, she was so anxious, as though me leaving was a way of rejecting her. I hope she knows that anyone who rejects her or had rejected her is stupid.

----

I walked out of the shower, music blasting in my ears, dressed, my towel on my hair, I was hungry. Hopefully she doesn’t see me, my hair wet looks weird. I walked out to the kitchen, trying to grab a snack when I hear the TV on. What is she watching? I peek over, she’s not even there.

-Akari Aizawa-

His hair was soaking wet, a drop went down his shirt, “Ow!” I accidentally bit my finger.

“There you are.” He took a breath of what seemed like relief.

I stood up, trying not to look at Bakugou’s damp shirt, “Where else would I be?”

“Nevermind.” I could see it, he pulled the wall back up, covering his heart.

In a second I reached out, I think I wanted to stop the walls from closing, “No.”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

She always seems to end up touching me and then getting super embarrassed, so to stop her from taking her hand back I put mine over hers.

She gasped, “Sorry…I know you don’t like me touching you.”

Her hand was so cold, I pulled her close, she was freezing, “Are you cold?”

She didn’t say anything, just stood there frozen. I pulled her to the couch and made her sit down.

“I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

-Akari Aizawa-

Bakugou….let go, he squeezed my hand before leaving, what is that supposed to mean? He came back with a blanket and two books, he tossed the blanket on me and handed me the book, Twilight By: Stephenie Meyer.

“What’s this?” I had never seen such a big book before.

“It’s something better to do then watch TV, so read or go away.”

He sat down on the other side of the couch, his socked feet up on the cushions, one hand holding the back and the other holding the middle.

I read the back;

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him-- And I didn’t know how potent that part might be -- that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

“Really?” I asked holding up the book.

A warm blush came over his face, “It’s something my mom read, thought you might be interested.”

“Oh,” This surprised me, why’s he got a book of his mom’s? “If I’m being honest….I’ve never really read anything like this before.” It was my turn to blush from embarrassment.

-Katsuki Bakugou-

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Then it was silent, she didn’t want to admit that she wasn’t the best at reading and I was too scared to offer to read it to her.

“What’s it about, besides, vampires?” Did she really want me to explain it to her?

----

I ended up explaining it to her, she started reading it. But now she was asleep, somehow she fell asleep, on me. Her head resting on my shoulder, the sound of her breathing steady. When she was asleep she looked so calm, as though nothing had ever hurt her. I stopped reading and listened to the sound of rain outside. She smelled like rain, fresh and new.

-Three hours later-

“Kacchan?” Deku’s voice came, pulling me out of my peaceful nap.

“Go away Deku.” I closed my eyes again.

“Why were you sleeping with Miss Aizawa?”

Now I was fully awake, I vaguely remembered she was asleep. “I wasn’t,”

“She was asleep when we walked in, everyone else is exhausted, she woke up before you did.”

“Sorry.” She was now dressed in pajamas, a long sleeve blue shirt, and a pair of deep purple shorts.

“I-It’s fine,” I looked down, “Where’s…..”

“I’m still reading the book you gave me, it’s in my room.”

“Okay.”

I got up, pushing past Deku, why’d they have to come back? She needs her sleep, wait, when did I fall asleep?

I saw Akari in the kitchen, she was singing, “Little bluebirds fly, reaching their wings up above the sky-” She turned around to see me and stopped, “Sorry, I’ll be quieter.

“No, I like it,” I looked her in the eye, “You have a gorgeous voice.” It was quiet, almost like no one else was home.

-Akari Aizawa-

I could feel the blood rising to my cheeks, when he’s around it feels like it’s just the two of us, “I don’t know how to te-”

“Come on Bakugou, we need you, real quick, come on.” Kirishima pulled on Bakugou’s arm.

“Hold on, what were you gonna say?" He was looking at me, hoping I would say something? "Akari?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing, it was nothing," I hid my face, "Go hang out with your friends."

"You sure?" I nod, he looks….disappointed?

Okay, then. I grabbed something to munch on and walked back to my room.

-Katsuki Bakugou-

She….wanted me to leave….

"Hey, man, you doing okay?" Kirishima asked, waving his hand in my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I shoved his hand away.

"Really? Cause you look super disappointed that you were leaving…" Kirishima finished that sentence with a musical note, a very annoying musical note.

Was I? I definitely wanted to know what she had to say, but…she doesn't, so I'll leave like she wanted me to, "No….I'm disappointed that she's still trying to hide stuff from me."

Kirishima laughed, “Dude, you’ve only known each other for a week, don’t take it so hard, she’ll come around.”

“Uh-huh-”

“Though I’m not entirely sure why you’d want to know what she’s thinking.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” My fists clenched.

“Nothing, she’s just…..kinda fake.” He shrugged.

“Fake?”

“Yeah, like, she acts like she’s afraid to get close to anyone, you are the ONLY person she actually talks to without running away.”

“Really?” The only person?

“Don’t go looking so smug….” He hit my arm, “Seriously, she needs to be able to interact with other people if she wants to survive school here.”

“She can interact with people, you just have to be calm and look at where she’s coming from,” I shrugged his hand off of my arm.

“Oh? And I’m guessing that out of all of us, you’re the calmest one in our class?”

“No, I just know her better.”

“Tell me, why are you two so close?” I took a step back, “Oh no, you aren’t running away again.”

That made me stop, “I am NOT running away….I just don’t want to tell anyone, it’s not my secret to share.”

“Fine, where’d she go?” Kirishima walked out, “Miss Aizawa?”

We found her curled up on her bed with the door opened, reading the book I gave her.

“Yeah?” She looked….worried, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just want to know why you and Bakugou are so close.” He sat down next to her.

“Oh…umm….I don’t know, probably because he was the first person to ever try and protect me. I guess I’m just more akin to people I’ve seen before?” She looked at me, looking for a sign of….something?

“No, I mean, why does he know you better than the rest of us?” I stepped forward.

@fakegingerrights @conquerius37 @sunrisemcash @wolves-write-in-moonlight @gummybugg @phosphophyy

Chapter Three

Chapter One

Chapter Two

#RenyWrote #RenyObsessed #katsuki bakugo mha #mha fanfiction #mha #mha fluff #mha bakugou #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #boku no hero acedamia #bnha #my hero acedamia

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twinklelilstarkey · 2 years ago

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Can i request waking up with rhett? Like the morning after where youre not sure if youre supposed to make your exit? And then he wakes up all soft and mushy, asking you to stay and telling you that last night was special and that it meant something :3 can totally go smutty if youre up for it!

Omg, stop cause this really warmed my heart. I didn't include the smut, but I did make it a little angsty. Hope that, and any smaller changes, are okay!

Benefits - Rhett Abbott

Words: 2.6k+ Type: Angst and Fluff Summary: Friends with benefits don't always work out as you want, and no one ever knows how to admit the truth. Warnings: GenderNeutral!Reader [no mentions of race or bodytype]. Idiots in love. Mentions of friends with benefits gone wrong (or right). Slight mentions of alcohol consumption.

You two have been doing it for a while. And no matter how many times you have time for yourself and your mind in the mornings, it never feels right. The nights with Rhett are not the same for him as it is for you. All of this started due to boredom and alcohol, nothing more. And now, with each night that passes, everything gets worse for you.

Maybe it’s cliché, and you definitely put yourself in this situation but, you are the common result of friends with benefits. You were too distracted and didn’t catch on to the first moments of falling in love with Rhett Abbott. And, before you could even notice, you were already at the bottom of this lonely and cold well called "one-sided love". One that will lead to nothing but your own suffering.

You should’ve stopped it as soon as you noticed. You remember that you swore you would refuse to do anything with him on your next time together. Yet it doesn’t take a genius to know that it never worked. It never does. And all of it always makes you feel weak.

You turn on the bed one last time, unable to fall back asleep. You had woken up by the sound of someone outside of your motel room. That was probably an hour ago, and they were very much drunk. They were trying to get the key in the hole of their door and drunkenly missing it while giggling hysterically. You woke up to their noise, yet never found yourself able to fall back asleep.

Rhett sleeps beside you peacefully, without any worries visible on his face. As always, he’s completely oblivious to how bad you feel every morning and for how long you stare at the walls and ceiling in silence.

Having had enough, you finally decide to get up and get ready to leave. It’s still early in the morning, nearing 8 AM, but you can’t bear to lay in this bed anymore.

You stand up and gather some of your clothes from last night off the floor. You’re careful. You walk around slowly and softly, putting on those same clothes with ease and not wanting to wake up Rhett. You walk over to your bag at the corner of the room, getting the usual things you use whenever in need of doing a walk of shame - clean clothes and toiletries.

You’re never sure if you should wake up Rhett before leaving. He’s still your friend, after all. Maybe he would worry if he didn’t see you. But, at the same time, he might as well not care in the slightest.

You walk over to the bathroom, wearing only a shirt and underwear. You don’t close the door behind you, not wanting to make any noise with clicking it close, but do leave it mostly closed. You begin to open your little bag and wash your face from the evidence of lack of sleep. And right as you’re almost done, Rhett wakes up.

Rhett’s not sure he wakes up with anything in particular but he does wake up a bit confused. Right as he opens his eyes, he expects to see you, either asleep or awake - being the latter the most common - but, much to his disappointment, he finds the bed empty. Before he could begin to lay with his own saddened thoughts, the sound of the bathroom’s faucet is heard, right before being turned off again.

Rhett sits up on the side of the bed, putting on his boxers before actually doing anything else. He scrubs his eyes, heavy with sleep, and waits for you to come out of the bathroom, leaving him to his own thoughts for a bit.

He doesn’t hate the routine, meeting up with you at the end of awful days or awful weeks, beginning your rants about life while sipping beer, laughing randomly at what one another has going on in their life, yet always ending up kissing and in bed together. Rhett has noticed that he’s always the one to kiss you. You’ve never rejected him, not ever since your first time together all those months ago, but tonight was different.

Rhett can’t bear to hold onto his feelings any longer. He’s done holding them back. He's so done that he has begun to get annoyed and let these thoughts spoil his mood for the days he’s not with you. But he always has this voice in the back of his head that tells him to enjoy what you two have without any commitment.

He tells himself all of this as if yesterday night wasn’t different because of these same thoughts. He knows that he was softer with you, may he say romantic even. Your shared kisses were sweet and things moved slowly. He’s not sure if you noticed the difference, but he knows that he, himself, did. And he’s not proud of making his feelings so obvious.

No matter if he tries to tell himself that there is a possibility that you might like him too, Rhett can never promise himself such a thing. In the morning, for the past few weeks mostly, you’ve been acting cold towards him, never talking much and, other times, not being there when he wakes up. He never mentions it to you because why would he?

Tired of not exactly liking where his mind is taking him, Rhett gets up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom. The door isn’t closed and right as he knocks on it, it opens further. As he steps inside, he sees that you’re brushing your teeth and have clean clothes laid on the counter just beside you.

“Good morning.” He tells you, his voice deeper due to sleep.

You don’t answer right away, leaning down to spit on the toothpaste first, but there’s something that Rhett notices. As you answer him with the same words, your voice is monotone, with no excitement or even tiredness in your words. Just nothing.

Rhett stands there as you finish up with your morning routine, and he can’t help himself but stare for a bit.

When done, you wipe your hands on the towel beside you and let your eyes meet with Rhett’s through the mirror one more time. He offers you a short grin, to which you force one as a response, not able to leave him with nothing.

Both of your hearts react painfully at the same time, and yet neither of you ever guesses what is going through each other’s minds.

You move back to your pile of clothes and grab onto your t-shirt, looking down at it for a bit. Before you notice, Rhett is standing right beside you, looking down at your figure and noticing your lack of words or emotions.

“You okay?” He asks you, and you nod. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You say, your voice sounding a little harsher than you intend it to.

Rhett doesn’t react to the tone right away, but you feel his hand coming to rest on the side of your head, holding it in place, right before he lays the usual kiss over your hair. That makes you look at him, and he stares back into your eyes.

“Just checking on you.” He justifies.

“I know… I’m sorry.”

He kisses your forehead next, and your heart squeezes at the action. His hand smooths down your hair, and you unconsciously lean closer to him. Rhett doesn’t think much about it, but when he notices that you’re leaning towards him, he pulls you into a hug.

He’s not sure who is in the biggest need of a hug, him or you. He might not know the reason why you are feeling the way you are, but he knows that you’re not okay. Rhett isn’t much of a hugger, only really a little in the mornings while he’s lost in the grogginess of his sleep, but you don’t refuse to hug him back. In reality, you do it without even thinking.

Your arms wrap around his warm naked torso, and his own are around your shoulders, covered by the fabric of your shirt. You feel him rest his head against yours in the hug as the two of you stay silent, and you lean your cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

When the hug is over, Rhett pulls you away by your shoulders, leaving you to stare up at him. His hands rest on them, caressing them comfortingly, and you let out a small sigh before offering him a grin.

“You can talk to me.” He reminds you.

You stay unnaturally silent, and Rhett looks down at you with slight confusion.

“You know that, right?” He asks you, and you nod. “Then why don’t you?”

You shrug while looking away for a second, trying to find a way out of this situation without any type of confession. You don’t want to think about it, let alone say it out loud. You know the best for you is to not say your truth. It's for the sake of your friendship and to spare yourself from a broken heart. But, this truth keeps on getting heavier.

“I… It’s nothing.” You dismiss it.

You move away from him, making his hands fall from your shoulders and come back to his sides, and you turn back to your clothes. Rhett stares at you confused, not knowing what to say or to think. His in-love-and-obsessed mind wants to create all sorts of theories, but all of his rational side is too worried about you to even start.

You can feel him staring, his eyes putting holes through your head. As well as the annoying voice in your mind telling you to scream out your own feelings. All of it is too much.

“Is there something I can do?” He asks.

You shake your head.

“Not really. It’s a me-thing.” You tell him.

The two of you fall into silence all over again, and you look up at him this time, admiring his face for just a little before forcing yourself to snap out of it. There is no way you’d ever fall out of love for Rhett, no matter how much you try.

“I help you with you-things all the time.” He reminds you.

“I know, but not this.” You reassure him.

The two of you stare at each other for a little. The silence is not as comfortable as it once was between the two of you. Silence is whenever you two are left with your own minds, left to fight your own instincts. Rhett is and looks severely worried about you, and you feel like there is nothing you can do about it.

Rhett’s hand comes back to you and lays across your back. His palm comforts you, and all you can do is stay silent, simply staring ahead.

Should you just say it?

The question repeats in your mind time and time again, almost like an echo. It repeats so many times that you swear that it is starting to make your ears ring. Adrenaline is ridiculously pumping through your veins as you try to gain the courage to finally talk, but, right as you open your mouth, Rhett moves his hand to your shoulder, breaking your sense of strength.

You know you have his full attention and that is what is making you so anxious. All you want to do is spit it out as fast as you can, and then... run.

If you could choose a way to tell him the truth, it would be like that. Say it and run away. Away from any consequences or a new reality. But, as of right now, you’re still very much undressed. You can't run anywhere like this. And… Gosh, you drove here with his truck.

You stare into the sink as you think of all your possible escape routes. Even if you have money in your wallet for a taxi. All of it. Rhett watches as you seem to have disappeared in your own thoughts once more, and that leaves him with his. All over again.

He can’t do this anymore.

“I like you.”

Your mind goes blank and your breathing stops. Rhett’s hand on your shoulder can sense the way your body tenses up and he quickly takes his hand away, hating every bit of it. He stares at you while his heart bruises the inside of his ribs with the force of its rapid pumps.

The truth is finally out, but he’s not sure he will like the outcome.

You don’t move for a good bit, nor do you say anything. It’s not until Rhett begins to take a step back that you actually come back to reality.

“What did you just say?”

Truth be told, you swore that what he said had been something from your mind. Something completely made up as your own body feels tired of hearing you whine. But, when you felt him pull his hand away and show his need to distance himself from you, you realized that it’s true.

Rhett stares at you for a little, and you notice that embarrassment takes control of his body. The way he looks at you and even the way he stands. He can’t read the expression on your face, and you can only feel your heart begin to hurt from watching him crumble in front of you.

“I said that I like you.” He repeats. His voice is much, much lower this time, and it has a mixture of guilt and humiliation.

You two stare at one another for a good bit, and Rhett seriously just wants to leave. He feels as if he has ruined everything for the two of you, especially your friendship, and that is leaving you to stare at him as if you’re in a dream.

You almost ask him questions such as “really” or “are you serious”. 'Almost' as in you actually opened your mouth to speak but the words never came out.

It takes a bit of time before you break yourself out of your shock and, once it does, you don’t let him take another step back. You reach and hold onto his hand.

Rhett looks down, staring at your hands and then back up at your face, and he swears that he gets ready to get rejected. He takes a deep breath, building up his own walls of protection for whatever is coming next, and then, you kiss him.

There are probably a few good and long seconds where Rhett does not move, he simply stands there, feeling your lips on his. It’s only when you’re about to pull away that his vacant hand lifts to your cheek and he chases the kiss before it ends.

Your lips move, this time, at the same time, kissing in a way so soft and so sweet that you two can’t even imagine it to be true.

When it’s time for you two to pull away and look each other in the eyes, everything is different. The way the two of you look at one another has changed and, now, all that you see when you look into each other's eyes is a mix of relief and adoration all in one.

Rhett swears that the kisses and pecks he gives you after are truly just for good measure. You two find yourselves smiling and laughing while he does so.

One of your hands smooths over his skin, from his tattooed chest to the back of his head, and your fingers work through his soft strands of hair. You two pull away again and stare at one another yet again.

“Was this your you-thing?” He asks in a whisper, all while the two of you stand so close.

Your smile stretches, and you nod.

“Yeah, it was.” You confirm.

Rhett’s smile is just as big as yours and he kisses you all over again. His hands hold you tenderly close to him, and his kisses never begin to be less sweet.

Both of your hearts are full and your minds are empty of worries. You two swear that you haven't felt like this in a long time. Months, to be more precise.

God, you’re really thankful you didn’t have money for a taxi.

I really hope you liked this!! ❤️❤️

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott fanfic #rhett abbott one shot #rhett abbott oneshot #rhett abbott imagines #rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott x y/n #outer range fic #outer range fanfic

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endeaavorr · 3 years ago

Text

[18.23]

the third vibrate from your phone successfully prodded your eyes to wake. your left arm numb from the way you accidentally slept on it hurriedly reaches out to put your phone on silent, not wanting to wake him up. ah yes, him. you look at the dimmed screen of your phone, 5.00 am 8th of August.

your heart warms at the sight. you lean back to the mattress facing up, trying to stretch your body properly before starting up the day. you turn your head to the left and see his sleeping figure. the slow rise of his chest, the slight part of his lips, and the nasty scar, as shoto calls it, settling happily across the side of his face.

you don’t usually get to see this side of him, either because he doesn’t come home that night from work, or you’re too tired to pay attention, or the two of you passed out right after doing it. so you hit the snooze button once more and studies his face, your right hand now softly leaning on his broad chest, neat fingers tracing the outlines of his never aging face.

but the morning haze soon is replaced by your default mode. pulling enji’s cover to his chin to keep him warm, you get up to start preparing breakfast, you wanted to make it extra special for today.

for the last month the two of you has been, how do you say it, distant. you were taking extra shifts at your agency to afford this watch you wanted to give him on his birthday. even so, since you can’t tell him why he’s starting to come home to a cold empty house, it’s been quiet and rather uncomfortably awkward. you kinda feel bad in a way, so you’re determined to make today work.

you were so drowned in your thoughts, you didn’t even realize enji already woke up and finished his morning run.

“good morning, papa.” you greet him with your usual kind eyes.

“morning,”

he’s fresh out of the shower, wearing a sleeveless shirt and a lounge short, a small towel sitting on his damp hair. he sits on the tatami while you plate breakfast for the two of you. the air is dry and suddenly even the tatami is not that comfortable.

breakfast was quiet, it has always been quiet. but not like this, it’s normally filled with you clinging to his arm and playfully sneak your head under his arms right above his folded feet, facing him with a half closed sleepy smile.

you steal glances at him but he’s always looking down. just when you have the courage to break the silence, he says i enjoyed the food, and puts his dish in the sink.

“i’m staying out tonight, don’t wait up for me.”

you were only able to muster a ‘good luck at work, papa!’ before he’s gone again.

it’s 5pm. you just got home from enji’s agency, dropping of a set of suit you picked up from the launderer. reservation is at 8pm, you have three hours to call him about it and get ready yourself.

“hello,”

“ah papa ! are you busy now ?”

“yeah, i thought i told you this morning.”

it’s a lie, you asked his assistant and his schedule is empty from 5pm above.

“well, not according to your assistant apparently.”

it’s silent.

“well, i just dropped off something for you at the receptionist ! make sure to wear them, dinner’s at ___ at 8pm under my name, i’ll see you there papa ! i love you!”

“wait—“

you leaned to the wall behind you and press your phone to your chest in a relieved sigh. really, you’ve been living together literally your whole life, how are you still nervous like a preteen talking to their first crush ?

you shake your head mentally and start to get ready. in the mean time.. enji is dumbfounded. he’s just confused and the receptionists are grinning knowingly, which makes him even more, confused. good thing his office has a shower and a spare room though.

it’s 7pm. you apply some final touches of light make up. the two light honks from outside signals that your driver is here, ready to take you. the restaurant is pretty close from enji’s office, but it takes a good 25 min walk from the todoroki residence and you don’t wanna ruin your hair.

you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, you’re wearing a black designer dress that exposes your shoulders with a small purse on the right of your hand. you’re ready to go.

8 pm.

“ah, endeavor-san, how can i help you tonight ?”

the hostess welcomes enji with a polite smile.

“i have a reservation under my daughter’s name, todoroki y/n.”

“right this way, sir.”

enji follows the hostess to a more secluded table from the others, he notices it’s way quieter than the main dining hall, the view next to both of the seats are the wide view of city lights. the waiter serving them tonight introduces himself and hands him the menu, while pouring water from a sealed glass bottle to enji’s glass. he looks through some pages but then decided to just wait for you to order.

you arrive no later than five minutes after he did, welcomed by the same hostess, and immediately taken to your table.

“you look good, papa.”

“you too,”

he takes his time to scan over you, your neatly styled hair, your set of greenish ocean eyes that matches his, the scar on your left cheek that you wear proudly, and lastly the way he realizes again just how breathtaking you are.

on the other side, you feel your heart flutter. he looks really good. the slightly opened white shirt, the perfectly tailored navy suit, emphasizing his strong arms that has saved way too many lives, too many times.

enji was too busy staring at you he didn’t even bother taking a look at his menu. and by the time the waiter was ready to take his order, he just went with the classic i’ll have one of what she’s having.

“how’s your day, papa?” you started the conversation.

“it’s normal, busy.”

you place your right hand on top of his, thumb gently rubbing comforting strokes on his palm.

“i missed you, you know.”

“well, you’re the one who’s been away so much.”

you’re honestly a bit startled at his bluntness, he usually won’t do things like this. you get a bit shy and shifts your gaze from his to where your palms are lightly entangled.

“i’m sorry papa, i can’t help it, i needed extra shifts.”

“for what ? is it about money ? you know you can always ask me, right ? i don’t mind providing for you for the rest of my life as long as i get to come home to you, and not just a cold dead hall.”

you’re out of words, his brows is contorted, and the glint in his eyes shows something you guessed to be dissapointment ? guilt ?

“i’m sorry,” you say again, hands shyly squeezing his and the other toying with the ends of your skirt. your heart still goes on a marathon when it comes to him.

the dinner was nice, it’s slow paced and calm, just like how he likes it. the little tense you two had is now slowly melting away. opting to take a walk home instead, you walk hand in hand under the generous light of the moon.

enji took off his suit halfway and put it around you, keeping his right hand in his pocket while his other is entangled with your much smaller one. his shirt has now one more button open, sleeves rolled neatly three times as they rest proper on half of his arm.

you can’t stop smiling, butterflies going crazy in your stomach like a lovesick fool, that you maybe are. you don’t know if it’s from the wine, but he’s way more talkative right now, you’re making jokes here and there, laughing to yourself while gripping his hand tighter and hugging his arms with your other hand. he’s laughing a little too, not that he doesn’t appreciate it, that’s just how he is.

you’re waiting to cross the road at the last junction before you reach your home, the road is clean empty but the light is still red. the both of you don’t mind, he takes this chance to pull you tighter against him and breathe the always comforting natural scent of your hair.

your solace is interrupted by the ding of the crossing light turning green, but enji doesn’t let go, so you start walking slowly like that, pressed against each other, steps getting tangled making it hard to walk. the things you do for love.

it’s 11 pm.

he goes in first while you lock the front door and make sure all the lamps in the yard are on. he sits down and starts to take off his shoe, you quickly slipped of your heels and crouched between his legs to do it for him instead. your short dress riding up, displaying your already exposed milky thighs in its glory.

you can tell where he’s looking and feel the twitch of your insides from the yearning you’ve been holding back. he reaches out his right hand to caress your cheek. you lean to his rough hands and give him a faint smile before you push your body towards his in attempt of pinning him down, disguised by an innocent hug. your head resting on his chest while he supports himself with one arm and holds you back with the other. he face touches the bare skin of your neck and finds comfort there. pressing kisses that quickly turned wet.

you lift up your head and pulled his supporting hand towards you, making sure he’s fully laid on the wooden floor, arms caging his head, hazy eyes looking down on his meaningful orbs. it’s not long before you crash your lips together in a desperate kiss, your spit drooling down his chin, his stubble grazing the smooth well cared surface of your face.

you sit down on his crotch and he abruptly breaks the kiss with a groan, but you’re quick to grab his face and pull him in an even more passionate open mouthed kiss, his hands find the swell of your ass and guide them so you’re now grinding on his growing bulge too.

the mutual need to breathe forces both of you to break the kiss. foreheads now touching together, heavy ragged breath mixing, the intimacy making you dizzy. but the high wears off sooner than you thought and you can’t help but hide your reddened face to his neck, not wanting him to see you blush, hands clutching him tight as he sits back up holding you properly.

“let’s go take a bath, i’m sweaty.”

you can only offer a weak nod, still too embarrassed of what you just did. he hoists you up to his shoulder and carries you to the bathroom.

it’s so warm. you’re sitting between his legs leaning to him, his strong arms on your stomach protectively, body radiating comforting warmth to yours, making the both of you completely relaxed.

you almost let yourself fall asleep if not that you remember about his gift. so you get up first, telling him to enjoy the bath a little longer and go sprint to your room.

you quickly dried your hair and put on a set of babydoll you’ve been keeping for this day. it’s a simple white see through babydoll with soft lace that hangs prettily on your supple thighs. you put on your sleep robe and go to his room with a deep green paperbag on your right hand.

it’s 11.30 pm.

the futon is laid and you’re sitting above it on your knees, your gift hidden behind your figure.

enji comes out of the bathroom already in his sleepwear, a black set of loose shirt and a matching pants. his hands are still busy trying to dry his own hair until he looks up at the sight of you and pauses.

you pat the spot next to you, signaling him to sit there. he walks up to you and sit crossed legged in front of you. he can see the rather big paperbag behind you but decided not to say anything.

“what is it ?”

you opened your mouth in attempt to answer him but was left with nothing, so you just shoved the paperbag and places it in on the little space between the two of you, encouraging him to open it. he’s still not getting it and looks at you with genuinely asking eyes, but you’re too stubborn to meet his eyes and just keep looking at the walls to your right, peach blush already forming again.

“it’s for you,” you brave yourself to look at him in the eyes and finally say it, “happy birthday, papa.”

enji felt like his brain short circuited. but you ushered him to open your gift before he could say anything. you watch as his big hands fully envelop the big green box inside, the one your clumsy hands almost dropped.

he opend the box and stares at it for a while. it’s a platinum rolex day-date 40 from it’s 2021 men collection.

“this is expensive,” was the first respond he let out.

“we-well, that’s why i’d been taking extra shifts,” you sheepishly rub the back of your head. enji’s strong gaze didn’t waver.

“you didn’t have to—“

“but i want to !” you cut him,

“it’s just—“

you grab the pillow behind you and hide your face in it, finding it hard to speak to him eye to eye like this. “i love you, and sometimes i can’t help my feelings, i just thought, this is what people do to their loved ones.. you know,” you explain in a voice growing smaller than before, almost completely muffled by the pillow.

he lets out a sigh before repacking his gift, putting it back inside the paperbag and placing it on his side. you’re getting nervous.. is he mad ? did he not like it ? were you pushing it ?

all your silent doubt dies down as he pulled you close to his chest.

“i love you too, thank you.”

his voice runs beautifully through your ear, the sensation going straight to your heart. you ease up and holds him back.

“um, papa,”

“hn”

“i still have another gift,”

he pulls back and looks at you with a raised brow. you better not have unnecessarily give up you rest just to buy him a ‘gift’, it translates. both your hands come out in front of you in a waving motion to dismiss his half true accusation, but you struggled so much trying to pull out the right words.. you just let out a bashful sigh and unties the knot in front of your outer, before letting the dense fabric hit the floor, revealing the pretty babydoll sitting pretty and proper accentuating your pretty pretty curves.

he stills.

“do-does it look weird..?”

he scans over you for a while but your embarrassment made you thought he was looking at you in a weird way.

your cheeks are heating up, eyes glued to your thighs before you hear a rustle and suddenly your back is against the futon with one arm pinned above your head by his weight, and your other one is in his, you look at you favorite set of eyes that matches yours and the blue sky, he presses your hand to the side of is face and land a deep kiss on the innerside of your wrist, leaning against it while staring back at you.

it was a good birthday.

happy birthday todoroki enji, 8.8.21

#papa!enji #endeavor #endeavor fluff #endeavor smut #endeavor angst #endeavor x reader #endeavor x reader fluff #endeavor x reader smutt #endeavor x reader angst #enji todoroki #enji todoroki fluff #enji todoroki smut #enji todoroki angst #enji todoroki x reader fluff #enji todoroki x reader angst #enji todoroki x reader smut #mha #bnha

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aquaticrunner · 4 years ago

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Modern Academic Rivals to Lovers | Edmund x Reader

Request by @generalblizzarddreamer : Hey love! I don't know if you're inspired to write Narnia right now but could I have academic rivals to lovers with Edmund Pevensie? Maybe Edmund could be a law student and the reader is a journalism major? Thanks so much if you do it! | Word count: 2.9K

A/N: I did not mean for this to come out so long but I loved the idea and just kinda ran with it. I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing it. I’m so sorry it took so long but I’m finally out of school so I’m catching up on all my requests.

I stood up from the small desk I was sitting at in the university library and stretched my arms up above my head. I’d been sitting at this desk for at least two hours and still felt like I hadn’t made much progress on my project. I decided to go searching for some more sources and scanned the section closest to me. A book title on the top shelf caught my eye and I reached my hand up to grab it. Just as my fingers brushed the spine of the book, another hand reached over and swiped it. “Hey!” I shouted, immediately cringing at the loudness of my voice in the quiet library. I looked over at the thief who had taken my book. The guy seemed familiar like maybe we’d had a few classes together. He had dark, curly hair that had grown past his ears and an easy smile that probably made most people melt.

“Hey yourself.” He said, chuckling as he started to walk away. I bit the side of my cheek in frustration and made the impulsive decision to follow him. “Excuse me, but I need that book.”

He stopped walking and smirked at me. Despite how attractive this boy was, it infuriated me. “Well, so do I.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I saw it first and there’s only one copy.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly. “You saw it first? What is this, primary school?”

“Seriously? Just give me the book.”

I could see the smile in his eyes as he just looked at me and said, “No.” Then he turned around and walked away again.

I decided not to follow him this time and walked back to my desk, fuming the whole way there. He was the most arrogant and obnoxious guy I’d ever met and I didn’t even know his name. I tried to focus on my project again but gave up after about 30 minutes. I packed up my stuff and walked back to my dorm. When I made it back, I checked the time on my phone. It was only 8:15. Too early to go to sleep. I scrolled through the contacts on my phone until I saw my best friend’s name. I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear. She answered after the first ring and asked what was up. “Do you wanna go out?”

I woke up the next morning with a slight headache and my mouth dry. I picked up the water bottle that I keep beside my bed but it was empty. I sighed and stood up. I ventured into my small kitchen area and filled up the bottle in the sink. As I drank the water, my mind drifted back to last night. My friend, Valerie, and I had gone to a small club and stayed out till about midnight. I had pretty much gotten over my encounter with that guy at the library. I looked at the clock at the wall and cursed when I realized that it was almost 7:30. I only had 15 minutes to get ready for my morning class. I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and brushed my teeth. I rushed out the door, barely checking to see if I had the right notebook. I walked as fast as I could to the humanities building and breathed a sigh of relief when I made it with 3 minutes to spare. I took a seat in the front row where I always did and smiled at the boy that always sits next to me. I opened my backpack and grabbed my notebook, thankful that it was the right one. I opened the notebook to a blank page and sat a pencil next to it. I was waiting for the professor to walk in when someone else caught my eye. It was the boy from the library! So we do have a class together, I thought. I waited for him to see me but his eyes stayed focused on his path and he sat down in the middle row. I turned my head quickly in case he saw me looking at him.

The professor walked in a minute later and I tried to refocus my mind on what he was teaching. This class was already boring to me. I knew that research and writing were important, but this class felt almost too basic. As the professor talked my mind drifted to the boy sitting behind me. I wondered if he had noticed me yet, if he was as bored as I was, or if he was paying attention and didn’t notice me at all.

“Does anyone know the answer?” I was snapped out of my thoughts when the professor addressed the class and averted my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t call on me. “Anyone at all?”

“A research question is focused, complex, and arguable.” My eyes widened when I realized it was the boy from last night.

“Yes that is correct, Mr… ?”

“Pevensie, sir. Edmund Pevensie.”

The professor nodded and went back to lecturing. My eyes stayed glued to the boy, Edmund. His eyes snapped to mine and heat immediately rushed to my cheeks and I turned back to my notebook. Now he’s going to think I’m obsessed with him.

When the professor dismissed class after what felt like forever, I threw my stuff in my bag and rushed out of my seat. I made it out the door and thought I was clear and my path was blocked. “Excuse me.” I said, trying to get past.

“Avoiding someone?” His voice burned into my soul and I jumped back.

“No. I just have somewhere to be.” My eyes drifted up his chest as I leaned up to meet his eyes.

The corner of his mouth ticked up and he narrowed his eyes at me. “Right. I’m Edmund by the way. Figured I should introduce myself after you called me a thief.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are a thief. And I heard your name. Everyone in class did.”

This time, he smiled completely. “So…?”

I looked at him, unsure of what he was wanting. “So what?”

He stared at me blankly as if he was trying to figure out if I really didn’t know or if I was messing with him. “Your name?”

“Oh. It’s Y/N.” I don’t know why it surprised me that he wanted my name. Was he trying to be friends or something?

“Well, it was nice to meet you Y/N.” And with that he turned and walked away. Why is he always doing that?

I rolled my eyes as he left and walked back to my dorm, throwing my bag down in the living room. My roommate, Elle, walked out and raised her eyebrows at me. “Someone’s in a foul mood.”

“I am not!” I shouted defensively. She just looked at me and my shoulders sagged in defeat. “Fine. I met this guy and he’s a total jerk.”

Her eyes lit up immediately. “You met a guy?”

“Seriously? That was not the important part of that sentence.”

She laughed. “Well I can’t remember the last time you said the words “met a guy.”” She said, using air quotes around my words.

I sighed and walked into my room, looking over my schedule for the day. I had one more class and a club meeting later that day.

“Hey would you wanna grab lunch before my next class?” I asked her, walking back into the living room.

She shrugged, “Sure. I have nothing better to do.”

We ate in the campus cafeteria and I went to my corporate communication class. Now I was on my way to one of the meeting rooms on campus for a debate club meeting. It was my first time joining a club and I was definitely nervous.

I walked up the stairs of the building and into the room that was on the announcement. A tall girl greeted me at the door with a large smile. “Hi! Are you here to join the debate team?” Her enthusiasm was almost scary but I smiled back and nodded as she handed me an instruction packet. “Great! Feel free to sit anywhere.” I thanked her and took a seat near the middle. Normally I liked to sit in the front but I was a little too nervous tonight.

I looked around for anyone I might know and noticed a familiar boy with dark, curly hair. You have to be kidding me. Ever since our interaction at the library Edmund seemed to be everywhere I was.

He was busy talking to a group of kids at the back of the room. He caught my eye and waved at me with a smirk on his face. I clenched my jaw and turned back around, facing the front of the room.

The girl who greeted me when I walked in had now moved to stand behind a small podium. She cleared her throat to catch everyone’s attention and I sat up a little straighter in my chair. She spent the next hour describing what the debate club was like, our meeting schedule, and how often we attend competitions. “Now there is a sign-up sheet being passed around. Please write your name and phone number on the sheet.” She handed the clipboard with the sheet on it to the boy on my left and he handed it to me when he was done. I wrote what she instructed and passed it to my right, not paying attention to who was beside me. Once everyone was done she announced that the meeting was over and we would receive a message for our next meeting time. I sighed and stood following the small crowd out the door.

“Hey Y/N!” I looked to see who was calling my name and of course it was Edmund.

I kept walking, pretending I hadn’t heard him, but he caught up to me almost immediately. “Hey, I didn’t know you were interested in debate.”

I shrugged, “Well you don’t really know that much about me at all.”

He put his hand over his heart in mock hurt. “Ouch. You wound me.”

I smiled condescendingly. “I try.”

“You don’t like me, do you?” He asked.

“I don’t have any feelings toward you.” I said in response.

“Riiight. Is this about the book?”

I sighed. “No. I don’t care about some stupid book. Look, it's late and I have to go. Bye.”

I walked away from him and headed back to my dorm for the night, trying to concentrate on my project.

The rest of the week went by quickly with limited interactions between Edmund and me. Finally, it was Friday and I was ready to take a break. However, before I did that I needed to buckle down and finish the project that I had been procrastinating. I packed my stuff up and drove to the library. I spent hours there and by the time I finished, it was dark outside. I packed my stuff up and stopped by the vending machine on my way out. I reached the doors and pushed, but was surprised when they didn’t open. I pushed again and started to get nervous when they still didn’t open. Maybe there’s another exit. I walked away from the doors and searched the perimeter of the library looking for another set of doors. When I didn’t find any, I walked to the center of the library where the help desk was located. “Hello?” I said, hoping someone would answer me.

I heard a voice from behind me, “Please don’t tell me we’re locked in here.” I cringed, knowing who it was going to be before I even turned around.

I slowly turned to face him. “It’s starting to look that way.”

“Do you have your phone?” He asked me.

“No. I leave it in my car when I’m studying. Don’t you have one?” I asked, crossing my arms defensively.

He waved it in front of me, looking annoyed. “It’s dead.”

I wanted to bang my head against a wall. “Great,” I said sarcastically.

“Maybe we can use the library phone?” He suggested and I nodded, walking around to the other side of the desk.

I picked it up and attempted to dial a number. Instead of hearing the phone ringing, all I heard was constant beeping. I groaned when I read the inscription at the bottom of the phone.

Edmund leaned over. “What is it?”

“This phone only connects to other phones in the building. No one else is going to be here at this hour.”

“Well, guess we better make ourselves comfortable.” He took a seat on one of the couches and propped his feet up on a nearby table.

I took a deep breath and sat down in a chair across from the couch.

He stared at me from across the table and I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. “Why are you looking at me?” I finally asked.

He shrugged. “I’m trying to figure out why you don’t like me.”

“By staring at me?”

Edmund laughed and I felt the tension in my shoulders ease just a bit.

“So are you going to tell me or not?” He asked me.

I bit my lip nervously. This is going to be a long night. “I never said I didn’t like you.”

“So you’re acting like this because you do like me.”

“No!”

“So you’re rude to everyone?”

“I am not rude! I don’t dislike you. I just have no interest in talking to you.” I finally said.

“Why not? I’m hilarious.”

I snorted in response. “I doubt that.”

“You’re judging me based on one interaction. That hardly seems fair.” He said. I looked away, not wanting to admit that he might be right.

“Well it was one rude interaction. First impressions matter.” I said in my defense.

“Okay, well I’m sorry I took the book you wanted. I needed it for a project.”

“So did I.”

He laughed, but it sounded dry. “Whatever.”

I bit my lip, guilt starting to settle in my stomach. Maybe I had judged him too harshly.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have judged you so fast. Maybe we could be friends?” I asked.

He half-smiled and I felt slightly relieved. “We can be friends.”

I smiled at him for what felt like the first time and he smiled back.

“Let’s play twenty questions.” He said, sitting up suddenly.

“What?”

“Twenty questions. I ask you a question and then you ask me one.”

I curled my hair around my finger nervously. “I don’t know…”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You can ask me first.”

I sighed, knowing there was nothing else to do anyway. “Fine. What’s your major?”

Edmund laughed. “Okay, starting off easy. I’m pre-law. What’s yours?”

“Journalism.” He nodded, and I sat for a moment, thinking of my next question. “What’s your family like?”

Edmund smiled and his fondness for them was written clearly all over his face. “I have two sisters and a brother. Lucy and I are the youngest and then Susan and Peter. We’re all really close. I don’t get to see them as often as I like but we text all the time.”

I smiled, surprised at such a genuine response. He cleared his throat and then asked his next question. “What’s your favorite food?”

I laughed and tried to think of a genuine answer. “Pizza. Yours?”

Edmund thought for a moment. “I love anything sweet. Why are you majoring in journalism?”

“Well… I’d like to have an impact on the world. I like discovering the truth and telling real stories. Why do you want to be a lawyer?”

“To defend those who can’t defend themselves, obviously.” He said, jokingly.

I laughed again and thought of my next question. Edmund and I spent the rest of the night talking and laughing. I had seriously misjudged him. He was actually very pleasant to be around. Eventually, we fell asleep and when the librarian woke us up the next morning I was embarrassed to find that Edmund and I had moved together in our sleep. The librarian apologized profusely for not checking before she locked up and then Edmund and I were on our way out of the library.

He walked me to my car and I grabbed his arm before he turned to leave. “Thank you.”

He looked at me curiously. “For what?”

“For making last night a little better. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d been locked in by myself.” In a moment of bravery, I leaned forward and hugged him.

Edmund hugged back and I could feel the warmth radiating off of him and his heart beating in his chest.

I leaned back slowly and Edmund kept his arms around me.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

I nodded and Edmund leaned forward, immediately capturing my lips with his. The kiss was passionate and I could’ve sworn I saw literal sparks. I wasn’t sure how long it lasted but I was sure it wasn’t long enough. He leaned his forehead against mine and I smiled at the closeness.

“Do you want to go out tonight?” He asked me.

“I would love to.”

He kissed me on the cheek then began to walk back to his car.

“Hey Edmund!” I called. He turned back to face me. “Thanks for stealing my book.” A smile broke out on his gorgeous face and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Anytime.”

#edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie edit #edmund pevensie fanfic #narnia #chronicles of narnia #narnia edit #narnian #narnia edmund #edmund pevensie x reader #narnia x reader #x reader #peter pevensie #edmund pevensie imagine #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #modern edmund pevensie #modern narnia #narnia au

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mionemymind · 4 years ago

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Chapter 2: The Unsaid Apologizes

Fake Memories

Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?

Chapter Summary: Y/n is determined to apologize to Wanda regardless of the challenges that come behind it.

A/n: I am sorry for the wait, but please let me know your thoughts. (Not my GIF)

Warnings: Starving, mistreatment, mentions of blood, harmful thoughts

Word Count: 4.2k

Masterlist

It’s been roughly a month and a half since the incident and around 5 weeks since they’ve captured Memory Man. If Y/n hadn’t been so heartbroken, she would have slyly commented, “What kind of fucking name is that?” But considering the events that have fore played, the once upbeat girl couldn’t bring herself to joke around anymore.

It's also been roughly a week since Y/n had returned back to the tower. They still treated Y/n coldly, but at least now she didn’t have to hop around New York for a night’s sleep. Oddly enough, it was Vision that was sent out to get her. The synthezoid had found her at a port inside an empty shipping container. While the outside had appeared fine, it was clear to see the damages from inside. There were obvious burns marks and puddles of water from possible ice shards. Y/n herself didn’t look and feel the best either. Recalling the event, Y/n found herself wanting to die from embarrassment seeing as Vision had to throw her in the water just for her flames to finally die down. Y/n didn’t want to admit it, but she was thankful that Vision was sent. He was probably the only team member that didn’t want to kill her. Not only that, but he had hardly noticed the lack of control Y/n had over her powers. If the rest of the team were to ever find out, that would be it for Y/n.

She hadn’t realized when it had started, but her powers were soon flaring at the worst possible scenarios. At several points, she had accidentally combusted several plates, mugs, and silverware from times she had enough money to eat. Sometimes when she had slept, she could feel the left side of her body encase herself in ice. If it weren’t for her fire side, she would have been frozen in ice like Steve.

Speaking of Steve, it continued to hurt Y/n realizing that the biggest heart out of the group hadn’t dared to speak with her. There had been times where eye contact was made, but the only emotion he seemed to show around her was nothing. It was as if he wasn’t anything to her anymore. The same went for the rest of the team. Even when Thor finally came down to Earth for a visit, it was like he was also aware of everything that happened and acted as if she wasn’t there. Sometimes Y/n wished at night that she could go out to space and help others on different planets like Carol. But that thought always diminished with the same words Y/n repeated to herself, “I deserve this.”

“Doesn’t matter what happens, I’m happy knowing that you’re always there to fight for me.”

Y/n abruptly woke up with sweat dripping down her forehead. She had bunched up her shirt as she clutched her chest trying to grasp as to what happened. Heaving in and out, she recalled the last few words. She remembered the vague memory with…Carol? Y/n shook her head. It wasn’t possible. In the back of her head, she knew it had to have been Wanda even if her memories said otherwise.

Before she got too comfortable, Y/n was caught off guard when another flash came to her head. “Fuck-” This time Y/n had grasped her head. The aching pain had surprised her more than the vague memory as it had easily slipped out of her head. Soon, Y/n was able to breathe again. Her heart rate had returned to normal allowing her powers to stop flaring up again.

The troubled girl dropped back on to her bed realizing this was another night without sleep. Ever since the incident, Y/n hasn’t been able to sleep without getting interrupted by nightmares or generally people. Looking to her side, the clock annoyingly read out 1:14 am as if to taunt the girl even further.

Giving it her best shot, Y/n closed her eyes and tried to recall part of the memory she had woken up to. She could feel the gears turning in her head, but it felt as if she was an engine without oil. Things got locked or stuck the more she thought. But with enough force, the memory quickly replayed in her head.

With their backs pressed up against each other, Carol and Y/n fought off the enemies flawlessly. It was their last day of doing undercover work when it so happened that their cover just got blown minutes ago. “Do you think Steve will kill us for blowing our cover?” Y/n blasted an ice shield to her right, preventing more enemies from crossing the bridge. Carol had “accidentally” managed to use her powers to push off several enemies off the edge of the cliff. Their screams faded as they reached the bottom. “Doesn’t really matter-” Carol was cut off as Y/n had switched sides. She had punched an enemy that was running directly at her girlfriend. Using this hard blow, she used her fire powers to blow a hole through his gut. In the midst of the chaos, the two looked over each other's shoulders with a smile plastered on their faces. “Doesn’t matter what happens, I’m happy knowing that you’re always there to fight for me”

Whether it was due to the consistent nagging pain in her head and heart, or maybe the lack of sleep and food, Y/n had started to cry without realizing it. She sat up once she felt her tears go down her neck. Doing her best to wipe it off her face, Y/n whispered to no one in particular, “I never deserved her.” In the back of her head, Y/n knew that the memory was with Wanda. But her confidence drained by the second the more she realized that her mind and heart could never confirm her suspicions anymore. To them, it was always Carol. There was never a Wanda.

Rather than allowing herself to have more depressing thoughts, Y/n decided to get up from her bed and had finally left her room for the first time since she had gotten back. She had made her way to the kitchen and had grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Looking around the empty space, it was slightly peaceful knowing that no one was awake at this time. It was easier to breathe at night sometimes. There was no one around. She didn’t have to worry about constantly putting her barriers up around the team. And she certainly didn’t have to worry about the girl that constantly plagued her mind.

Y/n walked around the empty compound with light steps, the small flame in her right hand led the way. As she passed by multiple rooms, her feet led her to the mission / conference room that was oddly occupied by one person. The only light that was turned on was directly in the middle of the room allowing Y/n to see the vague outline of the person. Y/n froze in her spot. Her mission files were in the room but she didn’t want to be in the vicinity of anyone else. She didn’t have any energy left in her to put up any walls. Y/n continued to glance between her stack of reports and the person in the room. As much as Y/n dreaded, she needed to start doing some work.

Y/n slowly opened the glass door and had tiptoed her way to her stack of reports. After only being back a week, the stack managed to be a bit heavy. Y/n rolled her eyes at the work she needed to do. “Can’t I just be sad and have no work,” Y/n thought to herself. After grabbing the files, Y/n turned around and froze once again. There she was in all her glory...Wanda Maximoff. She had fallen asleep on her arm with a medium to small stack of files next to her. In front of her was an open file as her other arm appeared to be writing mid sentence.

Before she could move, a small flash played in her mind causing her to wince in pain. However, the memory faded as quick as it came. It was too short for Y/n to even remember but still painful for her mind. Not wanting to disturb Wanda, knowing that it would probably cause the girl much pain, Y/n slowly walked out. As she got to the door, Y/n looked back at Wanda and sighed at the sight. She doesn’t know why, but part of her heart felt like Wanda hated mission reports. Y/n knew it was pointless to even try to wrack up that memory. It would only cause more pain for the night. But it was the adamant fact that her heart continued to feel this way about this girl. The feeling felt small in comparison towards Carol but still strong enough for Y/n to notice.

Not knowing what really was compelling her, Y/n walked back to the table and slowly sat in front of Wanda. Y/n sat her stack of files on the floor beside her and continued to look at Wanda. She forced her mind to replay the words “you’re always there to fight for me”. Although a blonde appeared in her head, the small but strong feeling in her heart refused to believe it. “It was you that said that...right?” Y/n said in a small whisper.

Y/n sighed at the pointless question and grabbed the unopened files beside Wanda. And for a small portion of the night, Y/n worked on the remaining load Wanda had. She had finished in around an hour and a half. Surprisingly, Wanda remained asleep the whole time. Sometimes her head would move a little but not enough to wake herself up. Throughout it though, Y/n would glance at Wanda and noticed the small details the light barely illuminated. Like how Wanda’s lip would slightly quiver causing her fingers to move slightly as if she was reacting to something in her dream. Or how she talks in her sleep but can be barely heard. Or how sparks of red would appear at her fingertips but would immediately fade away.

It was these moments that ached Y/n’s heart, because if her mind wasn’t so messed up, maybe she could remember more of these little things in life. Maybe then she could remember all of the love she had for Wanda.

After she finished, she stacked the files in the same order and placed it where Wanda had it. Y/n then slowly got up and grabbed her files from the floor. Glancing one last time, it was then Y/n noticed the small shiver Wanda had. Looking at the thermostat in the room, it was set to 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Y/n walked up towards and was about to change it when another flash played in her head.

Y/n winced again but couldn’t remember hearing anything in the memory. The only thing she managed to grab from it was the number 70 that was on a similar thermostat. Something in her gut told her this was something that happened often. So she changed it to 70 degrees and walked out the room as if nothing had happened. But something had happened, because as Y/n got to her room, she thought to herself, “Are you the girl that I would fight the world for?”

Wanda woke up at the sound of Tony’s awful complaining. “Jesus Wanda, it’s burning in here. Are you trying to kill us?” The red head groaned as she rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. She couldn’t help but groan again once she saw the stack of files to her right. “Speak for yourself Tony, you’re the only person here that likes to be frozen,” Natasha said as she sat across from Wanda. Tony was quick to respond with, “Not true, ask Steve.” Steve simply rolled his eyes at the comment and picked up the files that Wanda had. “Did you get these done?”

Wanda shook her head no and tried her best to suppress a yawn. If she wasn’t so tired, she would have already mentally scolded herself for falling asleep. “Good job kid. These files look good.” Wanda looked up to her right and noticed Steve’s impressed look. “What are you talking about?” Steve slightly turned the files towards her direction. Half confused and half impressed, Wanda was stunned at the completed work in front of her. “I guess I did…” Wanda couldn’t contemplate more on the work as Steve took the files and placed it on the completed stack. However, the other red head in the room was quick to pick up on the clues. It wasn’t that hard to put the pieces together. Warm room, completed files. It all pointed to one person. But Natasha left her answer unsaid seeing it was probably better that way...for everyone's sake.

It wasn’t a quick decision or even a well-thought-out plan, but Y/n knew there was something that pulled her heart to Wanda. Regardless of the overwhelming feelings she has for Carol, Y/n pursued what felt wrong to her mind and heart.

Getting back into a somewhat good schedule, Y/n caught up with her work as well as her training. However, rather than pursuing it in the morning, she did everything at night. Although she knew she was avoiding her team, she still didn’t have enough energy yet to face them yet.

After two weeks, Y/n returned back to her normal schedule. She woke up early in the morning to see Steve wake for his morning run. Of course, the two were not on speaking terms, which left Y/n taking a different course for her morning run, but it was still progress nonetheless. During the afternoon, Y/n would quickly make a small meal for herself. On the way back to her room, she would grab her files to work through during her lunch. She always managed to evade the team lunch. Not that she didn’t want to go, but they wouldn’t want her to come. This was made abundantly clear when no one bothered to check up on her. However at night, Y/n would clean up the place and busy herself till her body would give out. It allowed a better night sleep to drain her body. The lack of energy allowed no dreams. No dreams means no nightmares.

The first time Y/n saw Wanda was only a couple days after she got back to her normal schedule. She woke up early in the morning like usual. On the way out of her room, Wanda had been entering her room. Seeing the opportunity, Y/n quickly said, “Wanda, can we-” Before Y/n could finish, Wanda slammed her door shut, almost hitting Y/n in the process.

Y/n sighed and decided to continue with her day. She knew it was going to be hard to get the redhead to talk to her again. But she was determined to apologize. She needed to.

Over the next couple weeks, Y/n tried her best to apologize to Wanda. As expected, Y/n could hardly get a word out of Wanda. Every time she tried, Wanda either left the room or managed to slam a door in her face.

“Hey Wanda, do you have-” Y/n didn’t get a chance to say the rest of her sentence before Wanda exited herself from the room. Y/n sighed at her failed attempt as the rest of the team ignored Y/n’s words. They didn’t want to intervene unless things were to get physical.

After a gruesome workout, Y/n exited the room knowing that it was going to be occupied soon by Steve and Sam. Going around the corner, Y/n accidentally bumped into the very person she needed. “Wanda I wanted to say-” Wanda quickly walked away from Y/n, acting as if the girl wasn’t even there. “-I’m sorry.” It was useless though. Wanda was already an earshot away. This was failed attempt number 30, but the number was only bound to rise.

Y/n had been preparing her lunch for the day but didn’t realize how little time she had before the team came. Next thing she knew, the team was walking in with their lunches and were walking over to their respective places. The last one to walk in was Wanda. “Hey Wanda, I-” But before Y/n could utter anything else, she briefly saw a red wisp of magic pass by her and to the stove where she was cooking her meal. Quickly, she felt a large blazing feeling at her back but that was quickly gone when cold pressured gas was sprayed down her back. Soon, Y/n was covered in foam as well as her food and the stove. “Fire has been contained,” F.R.I.D.A.Y stated. Clint snickered as Wanda sat down with a smug look on her face. Y/n sighed as she wiped the foam out of her face. Giving up for the day, Y/n walked back to her room with foam all over her. She decided to stay in her room for the rest of the day, not even bothering to eat.

It was after failed attempt number 74 that Y/n figured vocally apologizing was getting her nowhere. Plus, at that point, it felt as if she was harassing the girl, which was the opposite of what she wanted Wanda to feel. During her sleepless nights, she tried to think of ways to try to apologize without actually saying the words. It was when she was cleaning the pantry when she got her next idea. Food. It’s the next best way to apologize to people. If you can’t fill their head with words, fill their stomachs with good food. Or is that even a saying?

Regardless, Y/n saw the designated section for Wanda was running quite low on snacks. She took her phone out and decided to take a quick snap of the foods that were left. The only thing that sucked was that all of the snacks Wanda seemed to have was in a foreign language. After a quick google search, the language was Russian. “Where can you find - wait what even is her nationality?” It was after another google search that Y/n found out (again) that Wanda was from Sokovia. Something about not knowing this fact about Wanda left a bitter taste in Y/n’s mouth but the girl ignored the feeling and searched up national European food stores in New York that would be open this time at night. “Four results huh.”

It so happened that the last store Y/n arrived at was the only store that held the food that Wanda had gotten. After looking at many isles and somehow passing by a white cat on aisle 4, Y/n found the snacks. She managed to get enough that would last Wanda hopefully a month or two. Putting the food away, Y/n quickly left to her room before Steve would wake for the day.

Wanda woke up with a bitter attitude. The girl was hungry and heartbroken. The only thing she could think of was how nothing sounded remotely good besides the snacks in her pantry. As she stood in front of the door, she groaned remembering how she hadn’t resupplied her stock yet. Steve and Bucky glanced at the girl from their spot at the counter but ultimately ignored her. They knew not to speak until she got something to eat. Cranky Wanda was never the best to speak to.

Seeing as she had nothing to lose, Wanda opened the door and made her way inside the pantry hoping to steal other people’s food. As she was about to steal Natasha’s snacks, the sight of Sokovian snacks stopped her. “How?” She walked towards her side of the pantry and was ultimately confused at the sight of a filled cubby. Trying to wrack up her head, she could’ve sworn she didn’t restock her side any time recently. Wanda glanced at Y/n’s side and noticed the lack of food in her cubby but she shook her head. It couldn’t have been her. And even if it was, Wanda didn’t dare to touch anything that dealt with Y/n. However, it was too early in the morning to do detective work. So with a mountain full of snacks in her arms, Wanda made her way back to her room to enjoy her own company. On her way in, Y/n was walking out. Y/n had managed to glance at what was in Wanda’s arms but the girl was gone in a flash. “Probably thought I was going to talk to her,” Y/n thought to herself. But a small smile appeared on her face seeing as this was finally the first attempt that was a success.

A month later of wordless apologies, Y/n noticed the small changes that appeared in Wanda. She started to eat a bit more and started to focus back on actual meals. Her head was slightly up more and she started to look forward rather than the floor. It was these small changes that Y/n finally felt like she was getting somewhere with Wanda, even though the redhead still had no clue that it was Y/n’s doing. Then again, it was the other red head that was too quick to notice whose doing it was.

Rather than leaving Wanda clueless, Natasha had self righteously claimed for the mysteries in Wanda’s head. Who helped with the files? Natasha. Who helped restock her shelf? Natasha. Who keeps changing the temperature? Natasha. Whatever Y/n did for Wanda, Natasha had claimed. The redhead didn’t claim these for selfish reasons but rather to protect Wanda from the truth. And if you had asked why? Natasha didn’t like Y/n along with the rest of the Avengers. And if it meant acting like Y/n didn’t do anything around the place and is actually an asshole, then yes, it was worth it. Because protecting Wanda’s heart was worth it. Because Wanda will always mean more to the team than Y/n ever will. And that was a fact that wasn’t going to change.

It was late at night, a repetition of one of many nights from the past month. Y/n was sitting in front of Wanda, doing the girl’s unfinished reports. But tonight was different. Y/n was in the middle of doing the last report when Wanda started to murmur in her sleep. This caught the attention of Y/n since she hadn’t heard Wanda talk in her sleep before, or at least remembered.

Y/n sat still waiting to see if Wanda were to talk again, which she did. She murmured a bit louder this time. Enough for Y/n to hear, “Don’t,” in a harsh tone. Not knowing what to do, Y/n closed the report and placed it back in the stack. Getting up from her spot, Wanda had started to thrash a little in her sleep. Her sleep talking started to get louder.

Fighting on whether or not to wake her up, Y/n knew what it felt to be stuck in a nightmare, hoping that someone would wake her up. So with this small thought in the back of her head, Y/n walked beside Wanda. “Wanda - you need to wake up. It’s just a nightmare.” The redhead still didn’t wake but continued to thrash. “Wanda, wake up,” Y/n said a louder but had no success. She sighed and placed a hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

In one swift motion, Y/n had been pushed back through the glass wall, shattering it in the process, and into the nearest cement wall. Groaning in pain, Y/n squinted and saw Wanda was standing up. Her right hand had red swirls surrounding it but Y/n had failed to see the swirls that stuck her to the wall.

It was a couple seconds later that the team entered and saw the commotion. “Wanda!” Steve yelled. This woke the girl up. She quickly assessed the situation and dropped Y/n to the ground. “What the hell happened here?” Steve rolled his eyes at Natasha’s language and carefully made his way to Wanda. He led her out of the vicinity of the broken glass and to the direction of his room. Wanda only spared one glance at Y/n to notice the small amounts of blood running down her face. She quickly looked away still in shock.

When the two were out of sight, the rest of the team slowly walked out of the room, seeing the broken glass as tomorrow’s issue. It was only Natasha that had bothered to say anything to Y/n before walking away with the rest of the team. “Stay away from her,” she said in a cold manner.

Once Y/n was by herself, her head had hung low from the empty feeling that crept up again. The progress she made was down the drain along with everything else. In a small whisper, Y/n said, “I didn’t even hurt her.”

Chapter 3

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#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #fake memories

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