#i woke up and saw that i almost cried /srs

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>[Changed the Coworker picture :)]

[blackkudos]

Bernice King

Bernice Albertine King (born March 28, 1963) is an American minister and the youngest child of civil rights leaders Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King. She was five years old when her father was assassinated. In her adolescence, King chose to work towards becoming a minister after having a breakdown from watching a documentary about her father. King was 17 when she was invited to speak at the United Nations. Twenty years after her father was assassinated, she preached her trial sermon. Inspired by her parents' activism, she was arrested multiple times during her early adulthood.

Her mother suffered a stroke in 2005 and, after she died the following year, King delivered the eulogy at her funeral. A turning point in her life, King experienced conflict within her family when her sister Yolanda and brother Dexter supported the sale of the King Center for Nonviolent Social Change. After her sister died in 2007, she delivered the eulogy for her as well. She supported the presidential campaign of Barack Obama in 2008 and called his nomination as part of her father's dream.

King was elected president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in 2009. Her elder brother Martin III and her father had previously held the position. She was the first woman elected to the presidency in the organization's history, amidst the SCLC holding two separate conventions. King became upset with the actions of the SCLC, amid feeling that the organization was ignoring her suggestions and declined the presidency in January 2010.

King became CEO of the King Center only months afterward. King's primary focus as CEO of The King Center and in life is to ensure that her father's nonviolent philosophy and methodology (which The King Center calls Nonviolence 365) is integrated in various sects of society, including education, government, business, media, arts and entertainment and sports. King believes that Nonviolence 365 is the answer to society's problems and promotes it being embraced as a way of life. King is also the CEO of First Kingdom Management, a Christian consulting firm based in Atlanta, Georgia.

Early life

Early childhood and tragedies

Bernice Albertine King was born on March 28, 1963, in Atlanta, Georgia. The day after she was born, her father had to leave for Birmingham, Alabama, but he rushed back when it was time for Bernice and her mother, Coretta, to leave the hospital. He drove them home himself but, in what was all too typical with the work he was doing, had to leave them again within hours. Following her birth, Harry Belafonte realized the toll the Civil Rights Movement was taking on her mother's time and energy and offered to pay for a nurse to help Coretta with the Kings' four children. They accepted and hired a person that would help with the children for the next five or six years. Her father died a week after Bernice's fifth birthday.

Once, she and her sister Yolanda thought it would be funny to pour water into their father's ear while he was sleeping. Their father, though, was furious. It was the first and only time he would ever spank them.

Later on, Coretta told Bernice that her father had celebrated her fifth birthday, knowledge that has been special to her since. King said she has only two strong memories of her father, one of him at home with their family and the other of him lying in the casket at his funeral. "I don't let people know this, but I think of my father constantly," King said at age 19. "Even though I knew him so little, he left me so much." When her father was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee, Bernice was asleep. When she woke up, her mother told her that the next time she saw her father would be at his funeral. In the April 1998 issue of BET Entertainment Weekly, King reflected, "I was five when my father was assassinated, so I had no concept of who my father really was. I have been told, but imagine trying to really understand or put it in its proper perspective at that age. When it finally became clear to me around fifteen or sixteen, I was angry at him because he left me. So I didn't want to have anything to do with my father."

After her husband's death, Coretta Scott King took on the role of raising four children as a single mother. Family friends recall that she spent considerable time with Bernice, who feels that being raised by a single parent has given her special insight into single-parent homes. “I didn’t have a father to deal with about boyfriends. I didn’t have a father to show me how a man and woman relate in a family setting. Therefore I have given over my life to mentoring young people. I’m adamant about young people who have been denied a father/daughter relationship.”

Other tragedies followed. King's uncle, Alfred Daniel Williams King, drowned in a swimming pool when Bernice was six on July 21, 1969. Five years later, a mentally ill man shot her grandmother Alberta Williams King to death during a service at the Ebenezer Baptist Church on June 30, 1974. King recalled of her grandmother's death, "I remember that day because I had recovered from having my tonsils removed, and I was really looking forward to getting back to Ebenezer, which was pastored by my grandfather on my dad's side of the family." Just two years later in 1976, her 20-year-old cousin Darlene King died of a heart attack. Her grandfather Martin Luther King Sr. also died of a heart attack on November 11, 1984. Also her other cousin Alfred King the second in 1986.

Finding strength through these childhood tragedies, King jokingly said, required "A lot of prayer. Some crying. Some screaming." Through all of her struggles, she has looked for someone to relate to in "moments" because "nobody fits the bill." Her sister, Yolanda, nearly eight years older, lived through parts of the Civil Rights Movement that she never did. On the other hand, she has written that she believes her brothers have had a life significantly different from hers because "Guys process things differently."

Call to ministry

Bernice has said that the deaths of her grandmother and uncle caused her to have anger issues since she was 16 years old. At that age, she saw Montgomery to Memphis, a documentary film on her father's life from the time of the Montgomery Bus Boycott of 1955 to his assassination in 1968, and "went through almost two hours of crying" and questioning. She had seen the film many times growing up, but the particular viewing "triggered an emotional explosion that later would thrust her into the arms of a loving God." King reflected: "When I saw the funeral scene, I just broke down. I ran out of the cabin into the woods, and for nearly 2-1/2 hours, I just cried." She credited the viewing with influencing her to become a minister like her father, who served as a minister at Ebenezer Baptist Church.

She was with her church youth group in Georgia mountains. King aspired to become the first female President of the United States at the time of seeing the documentary. Timothy McDonald brought the tape of the documentary and comforted her when she started crying. According to McDonald, he explained to her that it was good that she let out how she felt and called coming to terms with her father's death "a stepping stone upon which you will build the rest of your life”.King attended Douglass High School in Atlanta. Her brother Dexter Scott King attended the school as well and graduated when she was a sophomore. At 17, she was invited to speak at the United Nations in the absence of her mother. According to King, she also received a call to ministry that year.

Adult life

At the age of 19, she made her first major speech in Chicago, and stated that "We've come a long way. But we have a long way to go." In early 1983, King gave a speech at St. Sabina Church in Chicago. Many members of the audience said that she reminded them of her father. King attended Grinnell College in Iowa, and graduated from Spelman College, a historically black college in Atlanta, with a degree in psychology. King says she had thoughts of suicide before "God intervened."

King was arrested with her mother Coretta and her brother Martin Luther King III on June 26, 1985 with the offense of demonstrating in front of an embassy. They were participating in anti-apartheid demonstration in front of the South African Embassy. The three stayed in jail overnight. The youngest daughter of Martin Luther King, his widow and his eldest son were charged with a misdemeanor, demonstrating within 500 feet of an embassy.On January 7, 1986, King was arrested with her sister Yolanda and her brother Martin Luther King III for "disorderly conduct." Bernice and her siblings were arrested by officers deployed to the Winn Dixie supermarket. The supermarket had been subject to protest since September 1985, which was when the Southern Christian Leadership Conference began boycotts of South African canned fruit. It was the first time Bernice and her siblings had been arrested together at a protest. On January 15, 1987, what would have been her father's 58th birthday, King spoke in Chicago and told denizens to stay away from drugs.

On May 14, 1990, King became the second woman to be ordained at Ebenezer Baptist Church. She said that it was "the most humbling moment for me in my life." King insisted that she was "not worthy of this high calling. No blood, no sweat, no tears could earn me this high calling."On January 18, 1992, President George H. W. Bush visited the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change. King spoke during his visit of the problems of racism, poverty and violence remained in America since her father was alive, but did not directly align any of the issues with President Bush.

In January 1994, King voiced her opposition to New Hampshire's refusal to recognize Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, calling the decision "racist and separatist." On May 21, 1994, she attended the African-American Women's Conference where she said that parents should not let their children listen to "gangster rap" because of messages in the lyrics.In 1996, King published a collection of her sermons and speeches called Hard Questions, Heart Answers. In 2000, she narrated a performance of Aaron Copland's Lincoln Portrait at the Schleswig-Holstein Musik Festival in Kiel, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany. In January of that year, King joined Fred Shuttlesworth in headlining a two-week campus celebration of her father's life at Stanford University.

King said her mother heard Obama's speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and contacted her the following day over the senator's address, expressing her belief in Obama's political future. In June 2006, King told a teenage audience that she intended to do more to carry on the legacy of nonviolence espoused by her parents during the 20th annual 100 Black Men of America conference in Atlanta. "My desire is not to be a hypocrite," King said. "I want to make sure my life is not a contradiction when I take a platform."On January 30, 2007, one year after the death of her mother Coretta, King founded the Be A King Scholarship at Spelman College, her alma mater, in honor of her mother's legacy. On June 10, 2007, King acted as a presenter at the 2007 Atlanta H.U.F. Awards. Afeni Shakur said she was happy to have King and the other presenters "participating" that year.

She was an elder at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, but resigned in May 2011. King joined the church in 2002 and came to regard Bishop Eddie Long as her mentor and spiritual father. The church was the setting for her mother's funeral. Despite her leaving of the church coinciding with Bishop Eddie Long's settlement agreement in sexual misconduct lawsuits he had fought since September 2010, King said that she had planned to leave New Birth Missionary Baptist Church for weeks. "It has nothing to do with anything that's going on with Bishop Long," King said on May 25, 2011. "I always knew I would not be at New Birth forever. This is the time for me to leave." On May 25, 2011, King told an interviewer that her last time serving as a member of the church was the past Sunday. She has said her decision to leave was because of her desire to continue the legacy of her parents, which had grown stronger since the death of her mother. At the time that she chose to leave the church, she planned on starting her own ministry.

King donated $100,000 of her personal funds, while $75,000 was donated from Home Depot and $15,000 from New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. The scholarship will be awarded to two rising seniors at Spelman College who are majoring in music, education or psychology. On May 4, 2013, a rose was planted for King's mother, Coretta, at the Alabama Capitol. Bernice said that while her mother loved roses, she did not have much time to tend to them because she was continuing her husband Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legacy.

On April 29, 2014, King and her brother Martin Luther King III joined Governor of Georgia Nathan Deal while he signed legislation to provide a statue of their father. “We all know that monuments and statues are that, they’re things we put in place for people to remember and it's not always for our generation,” Bernice King said. “It’s really about the next generation.” On May 31, 2014, King accepted a $50,000 grant from Microsoft during the opening of its store at Perimeter Mall in Atlanta. Also in attendance to the ceremony were Mary Carol Alexander, Georgia Department of Labor Commissioner Mark Butler and Representative Tom Taylor. On June 24, 2014, King's parents were posthumously awarded the Congressional Gold Medal. Bernice King stated in a statement released after the award was announced that the King family was "deeply honored" by her parents "being given this award in recognition of their tireless and sacrificial leadership to advance freedom and justice through nonviolence in our nation". King was the keynote speaker at the Atlantic City Rescue Mission 50th anniversary gala, held on August 14, 2014.

First sermon

At the age of 24, Bernice decided to become a minister, and she earned a Master's degree in Divinity and a juris doctor from Emory University. King is also a member of the State Bar of Georgia. During her college years, King considered a career as a television anchor. In May 1988, King was among the students of Emory charging that the college should hire more African-Americans as teachers and teach the works of African-American theologians in its courses. She said, "Black students on predominately White campuses have been ignored, humiliated, intimidated...and in many instances, eliminated." She said the students and people in general had excused the "insensitivity" of the administration and faculty "for too long." Bernice served as a student chaplain at the Georgia Retardation Center and Georgia Baptist Hospital as part of the requirements for her theology class and interned at the Atlanta City Attorney's office. She is a member of the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, as was her mother.

On March 27, 1988, nearly 20 years after her father's assassination, King delivered her first sermon at Ebenezer Baptist Church. The sermon's theme was "You've Got To Rise Above The Crowd." King said her decision to deliver the sermon as "affirming a call I received at 17." She also said, "At some point in our lives, comes the moment of decision. For me, that moment is now. I submit myself totally to the will of God." Andrew Young, who attended the sermon, compared her style to her father's and noted their similarities while calling listening to her speak "a very emotional occasion for me."

Young also said that King becoming a minister "almost makes you believe preaching is hereditary," after her service. By delivering an "acceptable sermon," King was given her license to preach by Joseph Roberts, pastor of Ebenezer who stated, "We rejoice with God, the angels and the archangels that another warrior, a peaceful warrior, is fighting under the spirit of her father, grandfather and uncle." Veteran members of the church said her style was similar to her father's.

King's mother said at the time that she was satisfied with her daughter's decision to become a minister and stated that they had become closer than ever in the months leading up to the sermon. She also said listening to her daughter delivering a sermon with the same fervor and intensity her father had "was a joyous occasion; a real thanksgiving." Also in attendance where all three of her elder siblings, Yolanda, Martin Luther King III and Dexter. King's maternal grandparents were reported by her mother to have also been moved by the speech. Her sermon was delivered the day before her twenty-fifth birthday.

King Center

In 2008, King and her brother, Martin Luther King III, filed suit over the alleged mismanagement of funds from the King Center against their brother Dexter Scott King, who then filed a countersuit against them. Dexter King articulated his distress over Bernice's conservative religious views as departing from their father's legacy. In October 2009 the lawsuits were settled out of court.

In January 2012, King was named CEO of the King Center. On May 19, 2012, King met with Aïssata Issoufou Mahamadou, First Lady of Niger and wife of Mahamadou Issoufou. Mahamadou's visit to the King Center was a priority during her trip to the United States, having been an ardent admirer of King's father and mother. King accepted a plaque bearing crucifix symbols from Mahamadou.

On September 26, 2013, Evelyn G. Lowery died at her home. The King Center released a statement from Bernice King in response to her death, with her saying "I am deeply saddened by the death of Mrs. Evelyn Gibson Lowery, and my heart goes out to her husband, Dr. Joseph E. Lowery and their three daughters, Yvonne Kennedy, Karen Lowery and Cheryl Lowery-Osborne. We are never prepared to say 'goodbye' to a loved one."When Vice President Joe Biden aligned with her in celebrating a "naturalization ceremony" for an estimated hundred immigrants on November 16, 2013, she displayed distaste for the terms "illegal aliens" and "illegals".

On March 28, 2014, in honor of King's 51st birthday, the King Center hosted a girl and women's empowerment event. The organization held a special screening of the documentary "Girls Rising." King herself said the experience was "designed to educate, empower and inspire young women to confront and overcome the obstacles they face in their struggles to fulfill their dreams and impact the global community.”

On August 13, 2014, King addressed the shooting death of Michael Brown and demonstrators reacting in response. She called on demonstrators to channel their responses into constructive nonviolent action, and mentioned witnesses giving conflicting accounts of the shooting. On August 19, King expressed her belief that the community of Ferguson, Missouri was crying out for help after years of neglect. It was reported that a small delegation from the King Center would travel to Ferguson and planned to meet with "every element" of the community.The following day, August 20, King released a statement on Michael Brown's death, sympathizing with his parents. On August 26, King addressed students at the Riverview Gardens High School. King told the students her father's legacy was "on the line" and if “this doesn’t turn out the right way, it could begin to have people question what happened years ago.”

Public speaking

King was the keynote speaker at the Seminole County Prayer Breakfast in February 1998. Geoff Koach, spokesman for Strang Communications, said prior to the breakfast that there was an expectation to see "a lot more people of color there" and another reason for her being chosen to speak was to quell racial tensions in the county. He added: "We felt she could help unify citizens, the various organizations, government and church officials."In June 2006, five months after her mother's death, King made it known to a number of teenagers during the panel discussion at the 20th annual 100 Black Men of America conference in Atlanta that she intended to continue the legacy of nonviolence that had been attributed to her parents. That same year, King and her brother Martin Luther King III expressed interest in creating a civil rights museum near Ebenezer Baptist Church and the King Center, where both of their parents are buried.

On January 20, 2009, she joined her brother Martin Luther King III on CNN's The Situation Room to discuss the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama.

On April 17, 2009, King delivered an address at Liberty University. LU Chancellor Jerry Falwell, Jr. said that the university had been looking forward to King speaking all year. He said King helped "to bridge the divide that was created between different groups of students during the 2008 election season. For example, she gave a strong Gospel message today. African American Christians and white Christians have been separated into different political camps in the last generation or so but they share many of the same core values, especially when it comes to social issues like abortion, marriage and school vouchers." King said the university was a place for "kings-in-training." She told Liberty University students they were "very blessed and highly favored to be at an institution such as this." She called for students to accept “your identity. You’re a king. Don’t ever see yourself as a subject."

On July 7, 2009, King spoke alongside her brother Martin at the Staples Center in Los Angeles at a ceremony commemorating the life of Michael Jackson.

On October 16, 2011, King mentioned at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial opening that the memorial had been in the making for a lengthy amount of time and a "priority" for her mother. She and her brother Martin supported Occupy Wall Street protests. On January 13, 2012, King was the keynote speaker at the 24th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Awards Dinner. On March 29, 2012, a month after the shooting death of teenager Trayvon Martin, King released a statement through the King Center. In her remarks, she referred back to the deaths of her father and paternal grandmother, who like Trayvon Martin, were killed by firearms. She concluded her statement by saying we "are still on the journey to the Mountaintop. Join me on the journey as we pray for Trayvon's family, the community of Sanford and all who are in danger of being victims of violence."

She made a public statement with regard to the State of Florida v. George Zimmerman verdict on July 15, 2013 via a CNN appearance with Wolf Blitzer. She clarified a tweet she had posted on Twitter, and explained that the handling of the verdict would "determine how much progress we've made". She spoke at a town hall meeting dedicated to Trayvon Martin and has admitted to having been "heartbroken" by the verdict. She said Trayvon Martin's death and Zimmerman's acquittal were a wake-up call for Americans.

On August 28, 2013, the fiftieth anniversary of the March on Washington, in which her father took part, King spoke and related that the denizens of the United States were "still bound by a cycle of civil unrest and inherit social biases, in our nation and the world, that often times degenerates into violence and destruction". Despite this, she admitted to being pleased to see many young people and women at the event, noting that was not the case during the March on Washington itself. King alluded to the death of teenager Trayvon Martin in February 2012 and said "If freedom stops ringing, then the sound will disappear and the atmosphere will be charged with something else. Fifty years later, we come once again to this special landing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to reflect, to renew and to rejuvenate for the continued struggle of freedom and justice."

She spoke at the Boys & Girls Clubs of Northeast Florida fundraiser on October 29, 2013, where she encouraged involvement in the lives of children. King addressed the death of Nelson Mandela on December 5, 2013. On January 20, 2014, the year's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, King spoke at Ebenezer Baptist Church. King said there was "much work that we must do" and asked if we are "afraid, or are we truly committed to the work that must be done?"

On March 19, 2014, King gave a speech at Seminole State College of Florida as part of the school's Speaker Series. It focused on the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington and the Civil Rights Act of 1964. After her address, King was presented with a key to the city by Sanford Vice Mayor Velma Williams. King spoke at Fontbonne University on September 17, 2014. She was joined by members of the King Center staff, who aided her in urging the community to not act out with violence.

March against same-sex marriage

On December 11, 2004, King participated in a march against same-sex marriage in Atlanta. This action was in contrast to the advocacy of her mother, Coretta, and her older sister Yolanda, both longtime, outspoken supporters of gay rights. She was joined by senior pastor at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church Eddie Long, who said in a written statement that the march was not "to protest same-sex marriage, but to present a unified version of righteousness and justice." At the time of the march, King said she had become a "spiritual daughter" of Eddie Long and the issue of same-sex marriage legalization had left many divided. "The question is, how do you overcome that pain?" she said. "It may be the wedge that stays with us for a long time. We have to get to a place where it does not become the most defining issue of our time."

She incorporated the King Center and the eternal flame at her father's tomb into the march. The King Center denied her permission to begin the march at her father's tomb and accused her of doing so to "provide support for her own personal cause" and "to enhance her personal standing in New Birth." The event was also criticized by gay rights organizations, which stated it betrayed the legacy of her father. Chuck Bowen, a spokesman for Georgia Equality, stated that he was surprised to learn of the march. "I think it's very sad," Bowen said. "I think she's abusing the good name of Dr. King and the work he did creating equality for all Americans."

Deaths of mother and sister and King Center sale

King's mother, Coretta Scott King, had a stroke in August 2005. She died on January 30, 2006. King delivered the eulogy at her funeral. King called her mother's death a "major turning point." She felt that her mother's death was a "rebirth" for her, "in terms of understanding that I come from roots of greatness and I am called to greatness and there's nothing I can do but try to be my best self." On October 24, 2005, Rosa Parks died of natural causes. Her funeral took place on November 2, 2005. Bernice King attended the funeral and delivered remarks on behalf of her mother. Bernice was the only one of the four King children to be with Coretta Scott King when she died and learned that her mother's remains could not be transported back to Georgia, since Mexican authorities required an autopsy first.

In the months between her stroke and death, Bernice and her brother Martin Luther King III vowed to fight the sale of the King Center to the National Park Service. The siblings were put against their brother Dexter and sister Yolanda, who supported and voted in favor of the sale in early December 2005. On December 30, 2005, King and her brother Martin stated that their priority was to preserve their "father's legacy and their mother's dream." Bernice stated of her mother's opinion on the sale that "She felt at some point that it may, in fact, end up with the government, but she never envisioned that in her lifetime." Andrew Young said transferring power would allow the family to focus more on Martin Luther King's message of nonviolence and less on maintaining the grounds. Bernice King said government ownership, which would befall the King Center if it were sold to the National Park Service, would result in "a loss of ideological independence." Martin Luther King III stated that Bernice had been removed as secretary and that he had been replaced as chairman by their brother Dexter.

16 months later, on May 15, 2007, King's sister Yolanda King died after collapsing and was unable to be revived. King delivered the eulogy at her sister's memorial on May 24, 2007. During Yolanda King's eulogy, King admitted that her death was even more difficult than her mother's and said her sister often addressed her as her "one and only sister." She added, "It's very difficult standing here blessed as her one and only sister. Yolanda, from your one and only, I thank you for being a sister and for being a friend." She joined her brothers in lighting candles in their sister's memory.

Southern Christian Leadership Conference

With her brother Martin Luther King III, she has played an active part in reforming the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) once led by her father. When she was elected President and CEO of SCLC on October 30, 2009, a position previously held by both her father and brother, she became the first woman to lead the group, but discord in the organization has prevented her taking that position. King's election was won by a 23-to-15 vote, allowing her to defeat Arkansas judge, Wendell Griffen. Specialists said King would need to move beyond her family history when she took the position the following year. Andra Gillespie, a professor at Emory University in Atlanta, said King could hark back to her father's legacy, but that she was going to have to "redefine" it. Gillespie also stated that King would have to "figure out a way to push that legacy forward so we don't perpetuate a stagnant, chauvinistic civil rights agenda."

Despite her excitement being "high", King noticed the SCLC's board of directors had started "ignoring" suggestions she made to "revitalize" the organization. King said that she had made suggestions to the SCLC about how the presidency might operate in October 2010, but was not contacted formally until January, three months later. She stated that she felt "disrespect" by the three months in between her suggestions to the organization and their response. Despite this, she said that she would continue to "pray for them to move in a positive direction". On October 1, 2010, she led a prayer to an audience of around 200 people that had come to pray for healing and reconciliation of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. Through prayer, King said, they would "seek to destroy the work of the enemy." King called the SCLC preparing to hold two separate conventions "an unfortunate turn of events." In January 2011, three months after making the plea, she declined to be SCLC's president. While in Birmingham, Alabama on August 11, 2014 for the national convention of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, King endorsed having the 2016 Democratic National Convention be held in Birmingham, reasoning the "golden anniversary of civil rights events throughout the south and Birmingham in particular offers added significance" to it being held there.

Legal issues

King and her brother Martin Luther King III accused their brother Dexter of having disengaged them from decisions and shareholder meetings. They alleged that their brother had done this since 2004. On October 12, 2009, the dispute was settled out of court. The King siblings spent the entire day of October 12 locked away. The purpose of the lockdown was for the three to settle on a deal. Following the completing of their meeting, Bernice and her brother Martin said outside the Fulton County Courthouse that the results of the settlement seemed positive.

Book deal

Bernice King and Martin also opposed the giving up of photographs, personal letters and papers of their mother to a biographer. Their brother Dexter asked a judge to force them to comply. The biographer, Ms. Reynolds, met Coretta Scott King in 1972 and said that the widow had asked for her to write a follow up to her 1969 memoir. King and her brother's lawyer stated that their mother had changed her mind about the biography citing Mrs. King's apparent disapproval of Reynolds's writing style. A judge ordered the Kings to appear in court on October 14, 2008. David J. Garrow, biographer of King's father, said that it was "sad and pathetic to see the three of them behaving in this self-destructive way.”

By September 2009, the book deal was defunct and a judge ordered the three siblings to have a meeting. On September 14, King and her brother Martin sat through court motions, testimony and proceedings for more than 13 hours. In a separate hearing, Dexter Scott King's attorney Lin Wood argued that Bernice King willingly ignored a court order. He reasoned this because Bernice did not reveal the contents of the safe deposit box.

Wood also said King's brother Martin and one of Bernice's lawyers, who was no longer on the case, was aware of the letters and refused to reveal them. Bernice's attorney Charles Mathis said she "did not conceal anything" and said "She thought she was doing what she was supposed to do when she told her first lawyer. There was not an intentional failure to disclose."

The next day, Dexter Scott King's lawyers contended that Bernice was legally compelled to turn the letters over to Dexter, but ignored the order. Dexter's attorney Wood said "Regardless of what your last name is, if you have willfully withheld then you must suffer the consequences." Wood noted that Bernice denied the existence of the safety deposit box several times while under oath, which she said she found after the death of her sister Yolanda, who once owned it.

Mishandling of memorabilia

On August 28, 2013, the fiftieth anniversary of the March on Washington, the King estate filed a lawsuit against the King Center alleging that it had been careless with its handling of Martin Luther King, Jr. memorabilia. The lawsuit also claimed that attempts to resolve the issue with King Center CEO Bernice King have failed and that there had been a "total breakdown in communication and transparency." The King estate sent a 30-day notice to the Center in August 10, 2013. It notified the center that the licensing agreement for the King memorabilia was being terminated and that the center could avoid this by placing Bernice King on administrative leave and pulling Andrew Young and Alveda King from the board. According to the estate, Alveda King tried to "impede" the audit.The estate sought a court order barring the center from using the memorabilia after the license expired.

Bernice King announced in a statement on January 22, 2015 that the estate of her father, run by her brothers, had voluntarily dropped the lawsuit. She said the King Center's positions on its legal rights were vindicated by the estate's dropping of the lawsuit and that the action was a sign that the siblings' feud was on the road to reconciliation.

Belafonte documents

Harry Belafonte filed a lawsuit in October 2013, where he asked to be declared the owner of three documents given to him by the Kings and for their daughter Bernice King to be barred permanently from trying to claim ownership. The documents are Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Casualties of the War in Vietnam", which Belafonte stated he had been in possession of since 1967, the undelivered "Memphis Speech" found in Martin Luther King's pocket after his assassination and a letter of condolence sent by President Lyndon B. Johnson to the then-newly widowed Coretta Scott King. The King estate and Bernice King disputed Belafonte's ownership of the documents when in 2008, he took the items to Sotheby's auction house in New York to be appraised and put up for sale. On April 11, 2014, Belafonte and the King estate said in a joint statement that a confidential compromise "resulted in Mr. Belafonte retaining possession of the documents."

Bible and Nobel Peace Prize family dispute

King's brothers Martin Luther King III and Dexter Scott King are interested in selling their father's Nobel Peace Prize and his Bible, which was later used by Barack Obama during his second presidential inauguration in 2013. Her brothers filed a lawsuit against her, complaining that she had "secreted and sequestered" the two items of interest in violation of a 1995 agreement that gives the brothers sole control of all of their father's property. King said in her defense, "I take this strong position for my father because Daddy is not here to say himself my Bible and medals are never to be sold."

Martin Luther King III was reported to have sent her, on January 20, 2014, the year's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, a letter requesting a meeting to "discuss and vote on whether to offer for purchase at a private sale the Nobel Peace Prize and the King Bible.” On January 22, 2014, Dexter Scott and Martin Luther King III voted as board members of the King estate to pursue the sale of their father's award and Bible. The items had been in Bernice's care since the death of their mother, Coretta Scott King, in 2006. Bernice's position had support by members of the civil rights community, including C. T. Vivian, Andrew Young, and Joseph Lowery. King's cousin, Alveda King, was also supportive of Bernice. She said, "I am standing with her because I do believe we can't have a sale to the highest bidder with those family heirlooms."

On February 4, 2014, Bernice King stated that she would protest the sale of her father's Bible and Nobel Peace Prize and as a result, oppose her brothers. She said profiting from the Nobel Peace Prize's sale would be "spiritually violent" and "outright morally reprehensible." On February 6, 2014, King asked in a press conference in Ebenezer Baptist Church for the media to “refrain from grouping me with my brothers.” On February 19, 2014, a judge ordered her to give up the items, and had them kept temporarily in a safe deposit box under the name of the King estate. The judge will remain in possession of the key until the matter is settled.

The judge compared King's stance against the sale of her father's Bible and Nobel Peace Prize to Coca-Cola not wanting to sell its recipe, and later noted that he was not trying to trivialize the value of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s possessions by making the comparison. While King said that people had urged her to retain the Bible and Nobel Peace Prize and go to prison instead, she complied with the judge's order. On March 6, 2014, she asked her brothers to hold another vote and said she hoped one of them would change his mind. Despite facing an estrangement from her brothers, she hoped that she would be able to reconcile with them on the matter and said she is open to an out-of-court settlement. She appealed to anyone who would consider purchasing the bible and Nobel Peace Prize should they be put on sale to take the moral high road by leaving the "sacred in its sacred state." While she was given a deadline of turning them over by March 3, it was extended another five days, according to one of Bernice's lawyers.

King said that she would never support her brothers in selling the Nobel Peace Prize and Bible. She said that if her father was alive, he would say, "my Bible and my medal are never to be sold, not to an institution or even a person.” On March 10, 2014, King turned over the Nobel Peace Prize and Bible to Martin Luther King III for placement in a safety deposit box in a meeting that lasted five minutes. A lawyer involved in the dispute said few words were exchanged while Bernice surrendered the items. Eric Barnum, an attorney of Bernice King, said that his client "complied with the court order."

On March 14, 2014, Ron Gaither, one of Bernice King's lawyers, argued that William Hill, lawyer of Martin Luther King III and Dexter King, should not have any role in the case because of his involvement in the 2008 dispute between the King children. A judge appointed Hill as Special Master in 2008. Lawyers of Bernice King in a court hearing said that "Hill played a vital and substantial role in adjudicating a multitude of disputes that arose between the parties." The lawyers argued that this gave Hill an advantage while putting Bernice at a disadvantage. Hill's defense of himself was that he only had access to documents related to Coretta Scott King's estate and that Bernice King's lawyers were using a stalling tactic by trying to disqualify him. Fulton County Superior Court Judge Robert McBurney stated that he would soon issue a ruling on whether Hill would be disqualified.

McBurney granted Bernice King's lawyers request and disqualified Hill. A full hearing is scheduled to take place in late September.

Honors and awards

On December 14, 2007, at the State Bar of Georgia Headquarters, King was honored by the Georgia Alliance of African American Attorneys with the "Commitment to Community" award for her work as an attorney and community leader.

On October 7, 2009, King received an award for her "lifetime of service to women and other causes" at the National Coalition of 100 Black Women Convention.

On November 7, 2013, as part of the "Celebrating the Dream”, in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the I Have a Dream speech done by her father, King received the Legend Award as a tribute to his legacy and after she delivered a speech.

Ebony magazine named her one of their Ten of Tomorrow future leaders of the black community.

Views

Gay rights

In 2005, she led a march to her father's gravesite and at the same time called out for a constitutional ban on gay marriage. She once said to LGBT supporters that her father did not take a bullet for same-sex marriage.

During Atlanta's 2012 Martin Luther King Jr. Day rally, King included LGBT people among the various groups who needed to come together to "fulfill her father’s legacy." When speaking at Brown University in 2013, King made statements regarding her beliefs about the origins of marriage: "I believe that the family was created and ordained first and foremost by God, that he instituted the marriage, and that's a law that he instituted and not... that we instituted" and about the origins of same-sex attraction: "I also don't believe everybody's born that way. I know some people have been violated. I know some people have unfortunately delved into it as an experiment". King has publicly stated that her father would have been against gay marriage.

However, by 2015, it appeared she had changed, as she issued a press release as CEO of the King Center supporting the Supreme Court's Same-Sex Marriage ruling.

Abortion

King is opposed to abortion. She believes that life begins and should be protected by law at conception. On August 22, 2013, King expressed her belief that "life begins in a woman’s womb.”

[we-are-the-rebellion]

The Little Things

//I’ve wanted to write this for a long time and just never have, so enjoy! or not, that’s fine. art is subjective. 

Warnings: pregnancy, c section mention, cheating mention, and worst of all... babies. 

Word count: lots

Synopses: Four sets of new parents react to having baby sons.

Tag: @thereasontherumisgone 

__________________________

Date: 5/2/174

Location: Apartment Block 9F, Toronto, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Yoshikazu Hirayama lovingly ran his hand over his wife Katrina’s pregnant belly.

   “Akemi.” he suggested. She laughed.

   “What does Akemi even mean?” she asked, laying her hand over her husband’s. He shrugged.

   “I don’t know.”  Katrina put her arm over his shoulders and thought about it.

   “Do we have to come up with a name tonight?” she wondered, feigning exhaustion. Yoshikazu looked appalled.

   “Kat, the baby is due any day and we haven’t thought about what we’re going to name him!”  She laughed, leaning into his shoulder.

   “I know, I know. But Kazi, it’s late, and you haven’t suggested any good names.” she sighed, looking up at him. He kissed her forehead.

   “That means we have to get through as many of these names as fast as possible so you can get to bed.” he purred, nudging his wife’s nose with his own. She groaned.  “How about Yuji?”

   “I don’t know. This is too hard.” she complained. 

   “If you want, I can go find the book.” he offered, playing with a strand of her hair.  “My only wish is that we pick a name from it. My grandpa would be turning in his grave if he knew that any descendant of his didn’t have a name from the old world.”

   The “book” was really an old journal with a bunch of names written down from one of the old cultures. As the story went, the Hirayama family didn’t want to lose their culture, so they wrote down the name of every member of their family and friends in this book so that future generations could name their children after them and the history wouldn’t be lost. It was also well known that the story was heavily exaggerated. It didn’t matter to Yoshikazu what the names in the book meant or if they actually meant anything, it simply fascinated him that he had the ability to keep his great great grandparents’ culture alive in some way just by having a name that came from that old world. Nobody remembered what Yoshikazu meant, but he loved it. He imagined men from the old world named Yoshikazu. Would they be fighters? Lovers? Shop owners? Were they kind? Did they keep pets? How did they feel when the bombs started to fall, how much fear, how much anger, how much grief? His name was a fragment of a time that could never be gotten back, and he wanted his son to have a fragment of that time too. 

   He came back out to the living room with the book.

   “How about Ren?” he asked. Katrina exhaled slowly.

   “I don’t think I like that one.”  He sat down next to her again, flipping back and forth in the book. The names weren’t in alphabetical order, which was slightly irritating, but he had flipped through it so many times, dreaming of the old world, that he almost knew every page by heart.

   “Kenji.” he said, his finger tracing along the faded and time worn paper. Katrina looked at the page.

   “I like that one, actually.” she mumbled, yawning and nuzzling into her husband’s shoulder. Yoshikazu beamed.

   “Then Kenji it is.” he grinned, putting the book on the coffee table and wrapping his arms around her shoulders.  “Kenji Hirayama.”  Katrina smiled.

   “What do you think our son will be like?” she murmured, closing her eyes.

   “If he’s anything like you, he’ll be a stubborn workaholic.” he teased, threading his fingers through her wavy hair. She chuckled softly.

   “And if he’s anything like you he’ll try and argue with everyone he comes across.”  Yoshikazu scoffed.

   “I do not do that.”  She half opened her eyes, a knowing smirk plastered on her face.

   “When I told you I was pregnant you tried to debate me on whether or not I was 100% completely positively sure.”  He laughed at the memory, blissfully reminiscing.

   “That was because I know that I always made sure we had protection.”  She rolled her eyes.

   “I’m nine months pregnant with your son and you’re still insisting the condom didn’t break. I can’t believe I married you.” she muttered, a soft smile pulling at her lips.

   They both sighed happily.

   “I love you.” Yoshikazu hummed.

   “I love you too.” Katrina mumbled back, already dozing off.

   “And I love you too, Kenji Hirayama.” he whispered, gently rubbing Katrina’s stomach as he felt sleep pulling at his eyelids as well.

__________________________

Date: 10/1/175

Location: Allen Residence, Ottowa, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Michael Ashworth cursed and tossed his phone onto the table in front of him. His younger sister Genevieve looked up at him from across the room.

   “Now what?” she muttered, taking a long sip from her cup of tea.

   “Evangeline just went into labour.” he snarled, rubbing his forehead. Genevieve shrugged.

   “Then get to the hospital and hold her hand while she screams. Pretend you were caught up with work.” she said casually, grimacing at the taste of her drink. Michael growled.

   “How is this so fucking simple for you Viv? I slept with my assistant last night and now my wife is in labour!” he shouted, banging his fist onto the table.

   “Stop making such a big deal out of this. You slept with that girl, so what? Just go and sit by Evangeline’s side while she gives birth and pretend like your marriage is perfect.” she sighed, rolling her eyes. Michael stood up, knocking the chair over, and started pacing around his sister’s dining room.

   “Maybe you can just have affairs left and right, Genevieve, but I’m not like that! Fuck, the only reason I did it is because Evangeline is pregnant and she didn’t want to do anything until the baby was born, and now every time I’m going to look at the little brat I’ll think about how I fucked around behind his mother’s back with my twenty year old secretary!”  Genevieve sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Life, she missed being able to smoke. She hated being pregnant.

   “It doesn’t matter. Go and have your tantrum somewhere else. The nanny is going to be home soon with Max and Gena and I don’t want them to see their uncle acting like a melodramatic fool.”  Michael clenched his jaw, the muscles in his face twitching.

   “Of course you don’t. Leader forbid you give me advice on how to get away with infidelity around Max! I’m still fucking shocked that Elijah hasn’t asked for a DNA test, seeing as the boy he’s been raising as his son has no physical traits in common with him!” he barked, grabbing his phone off the table and storming out.

   Genevieve walked over to the sink in the kitchen and dumped out the rest of the disgusting tea. She couldn’t care less about his infidelity, or her own. It was just a fact of life, no need to get upset.

__________________________

Date: 25/8/177

Location: Sharp Residence, Toronto, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Nathaniel Sharp Sr proudly lifted his newborn son into the air.

   “Careful with him dear, he’s only a few weeks old.” his wife Erin chuckled, laying on the couch. Nathaniel grinned and pulled the tiny baby to his chest.

   “He loves it. Don’t you little Nate? Yes you do.” he cooed, cradling his son and smiling as the baby gurgled happily. He couldn’t imagine being a prouder man.  “I made this thing.” he said with pride, showing off the baby to his wife. She cocked an eyebrow and sat up.

   “Oh really? You made him?”  Nathaniel chuckled, passing the baby off to her. 

   “I helped.” he insisted, sitting down next to her. She shook her head and took her baby son, cradling him in her lap. As she held him, he started to cry.

   “Oh, are you hungry baby? Come here.” she said softly, lifting him up and pulling down her shirt so he could breastfeed. Nathaniel smiled, leaning his head on her free shoulder. 

   “I love you.” he murmured, kissing the side of her neck. She hummed quietly.

   “I love you too.”  

   When Nathaniel Jr finished breastfeeding, she pulled her shirt back up. Nathaniel Sr sighed.

   “Damn it. I wanted a turn.” he sighed, grinning. Erin pushed him away, laughing. 

   “You don’t need to suck on my boobs to stay alive, baby Nate does.” she said, gazing down lovingly at her son resting against her chest.

   “Grown up Nate needs your boobs to stay alive too, just in a different way.” Nathaniel replied with a pout. She rolled her eyes. 

   “You can have full access to my chest once our baby is old enough to be away from me for five minutes without crying.”  Nathaniel grinned, pressing his lips to his wife’s cheek.

   “Deal.”

__________________________

Date: 9/10/215

Location: Toronto General Hospital, Toronto, Ontario-General

   Liberty Pryce slowly woke up, exhausted and hazy from the anesthetics. Something had gone wrong while she was giving birth and needed a c-section, so she had been put out. As she came to, she heard muffled voices arguing outside. She looked and saw her husband, standing just outside her hospital room, angrily shouting at her doctor and a couple of anxious looking nurses. She was confused. Why was he so angry? 

   “William?” she mumbled groggily. One of the nurses noticed she was awake and scuttled over to her side. William and the doctor quickly followed behind.  “What’s going on?”  William glared at the nurses.

   “These morons lost our baby!”  

   “Now hold on-”

   “No, you said that you wanted to do some test on him, and he still isn’t back! How the fuck do you lose a child, are you completely incompetent?” 

   Liberty felt panic wash over her body.

   “My baby... Where’s my baby...” she muttered, her breaths coming ragged and uneven. Her husband leaned down and squeezed her hand.

   “I’ll find him. And then I’ll make these bastards pay for this.” he whispered, tilting her head up to look at him. She choked out a sob.

   “My baby... He’s out there... Oh life, my baby...” she cried, clinging onto his shirt as an anchor. William glared daggers at the doctor.

   “Find my son, or I’ll have your ass thrown over the wall.” __________________________

   Yoshikazu rushed into the hospital room, out of breath and anxious.

   “Katrina...” he panted, falling by her bedside.  “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry I missed everything...”  Katrina smiled and put her hand on his arm.

   “You didn’t miss much. I screamed a lot and there was blood.”  He frowned. 

   “I missed the birth of my second son. I should have been here.” he sighed, pushing his messy hair out of his eyes.  “Where is he?”  

   “They said that there was something a little off about his heart, they took him to go check it out.”  Yoshikazu’s eyes went wide. 

   “He has something wrong with his heart?”  Katrina shook her head.

   “They said not to worry, it was probably nothing. But they just want to be sure.” she reassured him, squeezing his arm. He nodded, anxiety clouding his mind. Surely it was nothing.

__________________________

   After the worst ten minutes of Liberty Pryce’s life, ten minutes of panic unlike anything else she had ever imagine she could experience, two nurses walked in cradling a crying, newborn baby. Liberty practically threw herself out of bed to take her infant back.

   “Oh! Oh my baby, my little baby, Carson. Carson...” she sobbed, stretching out her shaking arms to hold her son. William sat down next to her, putting his arms around her shoulders and looking down at his son as he cried. He held his wife and son, tears brimming in his eyes, tears of relief. Of joy. Nothing was going to hurt his baby, not now. Not ever.

__________________________

   “Look who’s back!” cooed a nurse softly as she brought back Katrina’s newborn son. She gently laid him into his mother’s waiting arms. Katrina smiled and took back her son.

   “You should hold him, Kazi.” she said, beaming up at her husband. Yoshikazu smiled and took him into his arms.

   “Hi...” he whispered.  “Jiro. My son.”  Tears brimmed in his eyes. 

   “Jiro Hajime Hirayama.” Katrina said softly, cuddling up to her husband as he cried over his new son. Jiro coughed and sputtered, opening his eyes. Yoshikazu chuckled softly.

   “Hey... He’s got blue eyes.” he said, excitedly looking over to Katrina.  “Like your dad.”  Katrina leaned over and looked. 

   “Heh... I guess I must have been too tired to notice earlier. He does.”  She softly ran her hand over the baby’s head.  “He’s so special, he’s got his grandfather’s eyes. The prettiest little eyes.” she whispered softly, kissing her son’s forehead.

   “Careful sweetheart, Kenji is going to be jealous.” Yoshikazu chuckled, handing Jiro back to Katrina.

   “Speaking of which, where is he? You told me he didn’t want to come.”

   “He’s with the neighbor, Mister Spiorad.”  Yoshikazu laughed.  “I told him he was going to miss meeting his new baby brother and he told me that he didn’t even want a brother.” 

   Katrina laughed with him.

   “Oh, well. I bet he’s going to be a great big brother once he meets little Jiro.”  She smiled and leaned up, pressing a kiss to her husband’s cheek. Yoshikazu turned his head so she was kissing his lips. He loved his wife, and he loved his two sons. He would do anything for his family. Anything.

[eliniei]

Request: Curtis request!!! Write about the Curtis Gang (or fam) and their sweet pet dog! It could be before or after the accident, up to you :)

@sixties-sodapop ! Hopefully it tags you this time. This prompt brought to you by the scene in The Outsiders movie where the family is visiting the country in Ponyboy’s dream, and they have a dog with them.

Masterlist: here

Warnings: I mean, it’s adorably cute, so if you have a problem with that, well, here’s your warning.

----

When Darrel Curtis Jr. woke up on Christmas morning, he looked out his bedroom window. The ground was dusted with white and the clouds above threatened to dump more snow on top of them.

Excitedly, he threw on some warm socks and quickly made his way to the front room. The snow reflecting in the morning light shone brightly, illuminating the entire room. Brightly wrapped presents sat under their decorated tree, the multicolored lights left on from the night before to help guide Santa to their house. 

The glass of milk sitting on the coffee table was drained, and nothing but a few crumbs sat on the plate that he and Soda had left their homemade cookies on. They didn’t have a fireplace, but his mom had assured them every year that Santa definitely would come in through the front door instead. To check, Darry walked around the small table and sure enough- wet footprints led from the front door to the table, and over to the tree. 

He almost squealed and took off running towards his parents’ room. 

He jumped onto their bed, trying to wake them up.

“Mommy! Daddy!” he screeched, bouncing up and down on the mattress. He heard Ponyboy roll over in his crib and start getting fussy. “It’s Christmas! Wake up!” His mother reached out to calm his movement.

“Okay, okay, honey,” she said, sleepily. “We’re up.”

His father sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision. He finally turned to his oldest son.

“Christmas you say, huh?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It can’t possibly be Christmas yet. I’m goin’ back to sleep.” When he dramatically made to lay back down, Darry tackled him. 

“No!” he whined. “It’s Christmas! There are tons of presents under the tree! And Santa’s footprints are by the front door!”

Darrel Curtis Sr. caught his son as he was jumped on and laughed.

“Oh, well, in that case, I guess you’re right.” His dad slid himself out of bed and threw his blanket over Darry’s head.

“Hey!” he cried, trying to find his way out of the bedspread. He felt hands grasp his sides, tickling him. He started giggling, but it soon turned into squealing and he thought he was going to pee his pants. “Daddy, s-s-s-stop!” 

Beside him, his mother chuckled. 

The tickling stopped and he threw the covers off. His middle brother, Sodapop, was now standing in the doorway, bleary eyed, wearing one of Darry’s old shirts. It swamped him. 

“What’s goin’ on?” he asked, trying to stifle a yawn.

“It’s Christmas, baby,” his mom answered as she was making her way over to Pony’s crib to pick him up. 

Instantly, Soda was awake, his eyes wide.

“It’s Christmas?” he yelled. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

His dad came around and laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“We were gonna in a few minutes. Why don’t you any Darry go out to the tree and get everything ready while Mom changes Ponyboy?”

Instantly, Darry had his hand around his brother’s, forcefully pulling him to the front room. Not like he needed much encouragement. 

Soda gasped when he saw the amount of presents under the tree, his big, brown eyes roving over everything. Darry released his brother’s hand and went to take the plate and glass into the kitchen. 

By the time he’d returned, his father and mother were coming down the hallway. 

Half an hour later, the living room was an explosion of bright paper, bows, and ribbon. Darry sat at the coffee table with a dress-up cowboy hat on his head, forcing his new Matchbox cars to ram into each other, making crash noises with his mouth. Soda sat by the tree, his new View-Master glued to his face and he clicked the button, making surprised “whoas” as the pictures circled around. Their mother sat on the carpet with Ponyboy between her legs, playing with a set of plastic keys and some wooden blocks.

His father pulled on his shoes and coat. The sly nod he gave his mom didn’t escape Darry’s notice.

“Where ya goin’?” he asked as the older man made his way to the front door. 

“Oh, just a smoke. Be right back.”

The oldest Curtis brother shrugged it off until a few minutes later when his dad returned with one more large box, red and green decorations. Soda finally lowered his toy and looked up.

“Whoa, what is that?” he asked, his high-pitched voice loud and amazed.

His father set the box down on the floor in front of him and shrugged out of his coat. He laid it on the arm of the couch and knelt next to the box.

“Why don’t you and Darry come over and open it? It’s gonna take both of ya.”

The two brothers looked at each other and hopped up. They each took a side of the box. 

“Okay, ready?”

They nodded, eagerly.

“Okay, liiiiift,” his father dramatized, and they both pulled up. The oldest brother took the lid when it was off and toss it away from them. 

Inside laid a little beagle puppy. It yawned, letting out a tiny little whine. 

Darry could not believe his eyes. He and Soda had been begging their parents for months for a pet and he didn’t think they’d even budged on their stance. 

“A dog!” his younger brother screamed and started jumping up and down, holding on to the top edges of the box. 

Darry reached into and picked the puppy up, gently hugging him to his chest. His face turned hot and his eyes welled with tears. He sniffled.

“Was this a good Christmas, baby?” his mother asked, coming up behind him and taking a knee. She put a hand on his shoulder. He nodded, vigorously.

“T-thank you,” he said, his voice cracking. “He’s perfect.”

“Oh, honey,” she said and wrapped him in a loose embrace so they couldn’t crush the dog. “I’m so glad you’re happy.” He let out a half sob-half laugh and buried his face in her shoulder. 

“What are ya gonna name him?” his father asked, moving the box closer to the tree. Darry pulled away from his mom and lifted the beagle so he could clearly see it’s face.

“I think John’s a good name,” he stated.

“John?”

“Yeah, ya know.” He tipped his cowboy hat. “After John Wayne.”

His dad smiled from ear to ear. 

“I think that’s a great name.”

[katherine-rambles]

good birthday! busy, but good! ty everybody for coming!!! ✨💖✨

this is a ridiculously long post, and it keeps getting longer. so, everything’s under the cut

on the day itself, in the morning, i went to petsmart because we found fleas on one of the dogs last night, so i (as the only one in town with money or a credit card) had to go spend almost all of my money between flea meds and flea shampoo. i was NOT expecting to spend ~400 bucks this week on doctor shit and flea shit. but i gotta, so... :/ and probably more in the future! gghuhugh

then i came home and did some more computer cleaning & organizing. i have... so much of that to do........ 

then @lordsoth42 came over! and we went to the mall and pizza schmizza (they got some, i got NOTHING because CURSE my stomach) and then got donuts. 

then we went back to my place and people started showin’ up fer my low-key party! @onilinkplus, @angrymamabear, @soycoffeewithcoffee, danny (i don’t think he’s got a bloggo here, but he’s got a twitch over at... um... kazstein), thank you all so much for comin’ and hanging out! and bringing food and gifts and stuff!

we got to play ARMS, 12 orbits, a lil’ bit of Once Upon A Time, Sumer (interesting platformer/boardgame mix), watch kody play Snake Pass, and see the demo of Octopath Traveller thanks to Danny having the energy to play it (which, by the way, that looks Goddamn Gorgeous!) 

then sleepover w/ tristan because Wow Eugene Is Far Away, Six Hours Of Driving In One Day Is No Fun! but also more time with tristan!

on the 25th i woke up super early again thanks to Stomach Hates Me Syndrome and i got to cleaning up, which was nice. i still have some more to do but i figure i may as well do that after everything is over this weekend. but i did get like. all the plates and shit put away so there’s tablespace again.

some lowkey hangouts with tristan before they went home and I went to hang out with @jirajara at the woodburn outlet mall to find shoes for her... i did fairly good in not spending money, by which i mean i was very thankful she & her crew paid fer my lunch, and i avoided spending money on trinkets and shoes and this one FUCKING BEAUTIFUL pleather light pink jacket.... anyway it was fun, if tiring. i forget how tiring Looking For A Good [insert specific item here] can be when you’re not doing it over like... years... on the internet..... 

then today i got to go to an actual SPA with super swanky everything and have a MASSAGE for the first time ever w @becna n’ @keketar. the wet sauna is not an experience i’d pay to repeat but the dry sauna & hot tubs? good stuff. burn my skin off. and the massage was really great! my masseuse was really fun to talk to and we just talked about all sorts of stuff and the back & head parts of the massage i could definitely see being useful in a headache/chiropractic sense in the future. 

sarah got me a Gay Flag Colored Lovebird bag......;;;; i love it.......;;;;;; 😍💖✨💯🐦

an’ then sarah n’ i went to my place and had a low key Craft Party wherein we tried to get each other hooked on anime we haven’t been able to talk to anyone about: me w/ revolutionary girl utena and sarah w/ voltron:legendary defenders. what I learned is, I love pidge and am totally down for this mystical bullshit AI tiger mech thing. my headcanon so far (probably easily proven wrong, i’m on like episode five) is that a lot of the “mystical” connection is [a.] propaganda (what better propaganda than DESTINY?) and [b.] a result of a networked/distributed intelligence not unlike the geth from mass effect.  

but also early utena episodes are so lighthearted! i always focus on the later stuff and forget how... innocent it seems at first. additionally, paying extra special attention to chuchu and anthy after reading a bunch of meta is a fucking TREAT like? episode four with the lil’ elephant doodle?? anthy!! an’ nanami is great also, and just how EXTRA all these highschoolers are.... my poor children....

i also learned/recalled that needlefelting... is a lot... of work...... i’m basically going to have to reskin my needlefelt mew entirely to make it look decent again. it does look REALLY nice again once i do that, but s’just gonna be a lot of work. (maybe this time i won’t like... have it on my bed and in high-use areas. there was so much pilling, oh my god.) 

oh! and sarah’s being so nice and letting me share her netflix! and merlot’s gift was adding me to her fam for the nintendo subscription service!! this is a good year for me & freeloading media, i guess :P (but srs, thank yooou both!) 

anyway now i have a lot to clean up, and work tomorrow. hopefully i’ll be able to vacuum once i get home: we NEED a big vacuuming. ‘specially since the doggo parasite circus is in town...

and birthday celebrations are extended because i’ll see becca on monday and there may or may not be a present involved there, but there sure as heck will be cute lizards, and really, what else could a girl ask for? 

then it’s tuesday and the.... ct.... and man why is medicine so expensive

but. overall.

i’m so glad to have my vivacity, my motivation, my drive and passion back. last year on my birthday i hadn’t planned anything really and it just happened to be a nice coincidink that sarah was headin’ down to eugene for a concert anyway. when i’m under like 70% planning things, hosting things, going to things is just... so... too.... much.... but when i’m 100% (mentally, at least, lmao i hate my stomach right now) it’s one of my FAVORITE things to do. people!!! friends!!!!! happy making!! i just feel... very satisfied and content in a way i haven’t been able to access in a while. s’a shame that my stomach has decided to stage a civil war on my esophagus, but... it’s discomfort, something i have to live with, not a drain of my life that i’m living. ya feel me? 

like, FUCK! this linked post was my birthday two years ago. it wasn’t weird because ANYTHING except depression! depression fucked me up! i didn’t spend it doing things i love with people i love because i couldn’t DO love! 

the b-day before that was good but lowkey because i couldn’t plan much, and it was surrounded by me just being.... tired... which was depression shit

and i think... the b-day before that was before i’d gotten depressed? i think late 2014-2015 was my first Major Episode... but i’m not sure because i started this blog sept. 2014. i do distinctly remember my internal grade-o-meter being off as like... an early sign of my troubles. 

this ended up so long haha

i’m so grateful that all y’all awesome friends of mine (both who i mention here because i saw them this past few days and those who are not mentioned) stuck with me despite the Depression Fog. y’all deserve the best and i’m honored y’all let me into your lives.

i’m so happy i have so many projects i’m jazzed to work on, even though the work is sloggish and boring i can DO IT and BE HAPPY that i’m doing it?!? it’s been so long since i could do that

lately i feel like a little kid who cries because they learned that those cool snakes have to eat those sweet little mice. everything is so new and fresh and lovely again.... like rediscovering your first favorite teddy bear or something in the closet. just a persistent strong warmth

i’m so lucky 💖 

[mangokiwitropicalswirl]

Paging Dr. Scully, chp 5: Ice

Paging Dr. Scully 1: Squeeze / 2: Jersey Devil / 3: Shadows / 4. Ghost in the Machine

“Dad, do you think I’m becoming detached?” Scully leans back in the dining room chair, fingering the stem of her wineglass. “Emotionally stunted? Immune to feeling?”

“Oh Dana, what would make you say that?” William Sr. replies in a soothing tone. “You were always my soft-hearted girl.”

“I don’t know, Dad.” Scully looks to the distance, then down into her glass. “I saw a friend lose somebody close to him in the ER this week. And I barely cried. It all seemed so rote, so normal. And then I saw him tear up, and I realized I’m giving more attention to all the notations in my charts than the people in the rooms.”

William Sr. nods and places an arm on her shoulder. “You are a good doctor, Dana. You always want to fix people, to make everything better.” He pauses until she looks up at him. “But you can’t fix everything. Some things are out of your control.”

Scully swallows, a lump forming in her throat. Her response is a choked whisper. “I just worry I’m becoming so cold. I don’t want to close off my heart from my work, you know.”

Maggie has stopped clearing away the dishes away and is listening in. “You just sound burned out, dear,” she offers.

“That’s such a cliche, mom,” Scully rolls her eyes and sits up a bit straighter, taking a sip of wine to help steady her voice. “If I’m burned out, then all doctors everywhere are always burned out.”

“I mean it,” Maggie presses further. “When was the last time you stopped working and took a vacation? First, you graduate college early and you start straight into med school. Then you choose emergency medicine as your speciality and dive into your residency without so much as a week off between getting your coat and your first clinical rotation. You’ve been going non-stop since you were 17, dear. I’d say you might be dealing with burnout.”

“Now now, Maggie,” William Sr. chides her lightly, “You know Dana thrives on achievement.”

“It’s true, dad,” Scully adds with a sigh. “I do.”

Even so, hearing her mother give the details of the last 12 years of her life like that, she is suddenly exhausted. “But… but mom might be right.”

She looks back and forth at her mother and father and the remnants of the first after-church dinner they’ve managed to schedule in months. She has never felt like she had more stress than the average person, but when looked at objectively, it’s a wonder she hasn’t collapsed from the pressure.

“What do you think I should do?” She looks at her father, the stalwart Navy captain, as if he should be the one to chart a course for her. The idea that any kind of stress would be too much for her is vaguely embarrassing in light of his rigorous standards. But he is, after all, her dad.

“I can’t answer that for you,” he shakes his head. “But in my opinion, it’s nothing a little more sleep can’t cure.”

“Mom?” Scully knows her mother will see things a bit differently.

“I think you might want to ask about a brief leave of absence, a sabbatical,” Maggie suggests, “I mean, when was the last time you even had time to go out on a date?”

Scully sighs. So often with her mother, it always comes back to her love life. Or lack thereof. Now doesn’t seem to be the time to get into that subject, even if for once, Scully thinks she might have something to share. But now’s not the time to delve into that.

“Honestly mom, dating is the least of my concerns right now…” she trails off wearily, too tired to mount her usual defenses.

“I’m just saying,” Maggie interjects. “These things don’t just happen. It’s not like the right guy is just going to stumble into your ER.”

Scully does her best to hide a smile as she stands up from the table and begins gathering her things to go. In fact, back at home there’s a message on her answering machine from a guy that she met in her ER. A message she’s probably played a half dozen times over the course of the last few days.

She had finally listened to it the night Mulder’s friend Jerry had died, once she made her way back to her apartment for the first time in days. She had stumbled her way to the couch and barely pulled off her shoes before passing out. When she woke in a puddle of drool, the blinking red light on the console table was the first thing she saw. She had leaned up on her elbows and slapped “play,” trying not to hold her breath as the machine ticked through a couple robo-sales calls and a reminder from her mother that they were due to have lunch after church the next Sunday. Then, his voice filled her apartment, on a message dated from Monday night.

“What’s up Doc? I’m guessing you’re probably on shift at the hospital now. I’ve been thinking about ways to get myself injured so I’d have a reason to see you, but I got a weird case this morning. I’ll have to tell ya about it – what do you know about artificial intelligence? Because it looks like our robot overlords might be arriving sooner than scheduled. Anyway, I’ll be kinda busy this week with this case, but I wanted to call and say thanks for making the drive up to Philly. You were right about the bell – it’s a big bell with a big crack, but at least we didn’t have to wait in any long lines. I don’t think I’d mind waiting in a long line with you anyway though. I know you have my number. Call me when you get a chance.”

The smile that had started when she heard the first words of his message only brightens the longer it goes on. She can hear the grin in his own voice as he pauses at the end of the message before hanging up.

She hasn’t known how to call back, though, after their interchange at the hospital. She has wanted to give him space, and she knows that he’s probably confused that she hasn’t responded. It’s just all kinds of awkward, so what exactly is she going to tell her parents? Nothing, yet.

“Thank you for dinner, mom. It was wonderful as usual.” Scully hugs her mother and clears away a side dish and some glasses on her way through the kitchen.

“Things will be alright, Dana,” William Sr. stands and places an arm on her hand as they stall by the door. “You have a good head on your shoulders.”

“Thanks Dad.” Scully squeezes his forearm, smiling faintly. “Thanks for the advice.”

In the car on the way home, she decides she has two things to do. First, she needs to call Mulder back, awkwardness be damned. And second, she needs to schedule a meeting with hospital HR and find out about leaves of absence.

Her stomach lurches wildly as the little plane dips and dives through a cloudbank. She hates small planes. She’s not much of a fan of big ones either, but small ones are infinitely worse. She pulls the white fur hood of her puffy jacket closer around her face to try and block the view of the towering peaks looming a little too close through the windows.

She glances at Mulder in the seat beside her. He’s looking at her with an expression somewhere between “I’m so sorry,” and “please don’t kill me.” He reaches over and laces his fingers overtop her right hand that is gripping the armrest. He squeezes.  “Almost there.” He tries to make it sound like a promise, but she hears the hesitation in his voice.

It’s moments like this that it hits her that she barely knows this man, but here she is, quivering in a tiny prop plane, on their way to God-knows-where for who-knows-why. But she is on a sabbatical and she’s going to Alaska with a man she just met. Her face and her fingers are freezing, but this is the warmest she’s felt in years.

[florencemeivey]

We Face Our Enemy Together (Chapter Two of Somewhere Down the Line)

Shepard learned through Garrus that all of her former crew and friends, with the exception of EDI, had survived the final clash with the Reapers. All those who had been with her as crew during the battle were still on the Normandy, which was docked as near to her hospital as it could be. 

“Once you woke up, they got the word out somehow to the rest of our friends.” Garrus explained to Shepard as she leaned against him. He was helping her to her wheelchair. She had just finished her first physical therapy session, and the results looked promising. Now, she had been allowed to see her crew, so long as they came to the hospital.

“I suspect Liara, once again,” Garrus continued, shaking his head. “Those connections of hers as the Shadow Broker, I guess.”

“Mmhm,” Shepard replied distractedly. She was staring into space, and Garrus took immediate notice. He leaned down and rested his fingers lightly on Shepard’s cheek.

“Worried about Joker?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. Shepard nodded. “I still think you shouldn’t tell him,” Garrus said gently. “What good will it do now, except open old wounds?”

“Sometimes wounds need to be reopened to fully heal,” Shepard said grimly. “Joker’s my friend, and EDI was too. He deserves to know the truth.”

“Okay, it’s your call Shepard.” A pause, and then, “When did you plan on telling him?”

“When I can get him alone,” Shepard replied, her eyes set with the fierce determination that Garrus had learned long ago meant that she would not be dissuaded. He squeezed her shoulder in solidarity and comfort, and wheeled her away to go see their friends.

Liara was the first to notice the couple walk in. “Shepard!” She gasped, jumping up from the chair she had been perched upon. The rest of the crew stood then, crying out Shepard’s name in delight.

Shepard, despite her nervousness about what she had to tell Joker, felt a sense of joy and relief wash over her. She had lived to see her friends again, and they had lived to see her. She looked around at all of their smiling faces and felt a fierce, familial sort of love. These were the people who had followed her to hell and back. This was her family; the Normandy family.

Then came the reunions. Liara, Tali, Steve, James, and Samantha stormed Shepard, and wrapped her in a group hug. For a long moment Shepard was lost among a tangle of arms and laughing, smiling faces.

The others who were less inclined to give out hugs nonetheless offered their own greetings. Grunt and Wrex grabbed Shepard’s arm, as gently as they could, and extolled her strength. Wrex told her she had the biggest quad of them all. 

Javik loudly told anyone who would listen that in his cycle, people didn’t come back from the dead twice. 

Kaidan gave her a salute that would have been the picture of military propriety, if it hadn’t been for the wide grin on his face. 

Miranda touched Shepard’s shoulder and remarked with a hint of pride at how well her cybernetics had held up, and that Shepard was tough to kill.

Jacob gave Shepard a warm handshake and excitedly told her about his new baby, a baby girl that he had managed to convince Brynn not to name Shepard.

Samara gave Shepard a little bow and told her she was glad that the universe had decided it was not done with her.

Jack, who felt that she could not rightly punch Shepard, instead punched Garrus and crowed that Shepard was one tough bitch. 

Kasumi appeared out of thin air and cheerfully announced that she was glad Shepard was back among the living before cloaking herself once more. 

Zaeed told Shepard she was “a goddamn focking legend.”

Finally, it was time for her to face Joker. She turned to him, where he had hung back in the group. A fresh feeling of guilt hit her like a sucker punch when she saw just how depressed he looked. He didn’t look at all like the, well, “Joker” she remembered.

“Hey, Shepard,” He said when she turned to him. “Glad you’re back up, too bad we don’t have anymore Reapers to throw you at.” He paused, and Shepard saw him try to put on fresh bravado. “EDI would have been here, but uh...she didn’t make it.” He hung his head, and the room became quiet. Awkwardly so, pregnant with tension.

“Er, yeah...I’m sorry Joker.” Thinking that now was as good a time as any, she added, “Why don’t we take a walk? Garrus, everyone, we won’t take too long.”

Garrus gave her one last pitying look, and released his hold on her wheelchair. Shepard wheeled herself away, Joker following along with a puzzled expression. 

“What’s that about?” James murmured, looking after them.

“They have a lot to talk about,” Garrus replied. “And I guess while she explains to him, I should explain to all of you as well.”

So he did.

“What’re we doing out here, Shepard? We’re missing the party.” Joker asked, once Shepard had stopped in the hospital courtyard. This was probably the only thing she liked about the hospital; in this courtyard, flowers and trees grew where they didn’t elsewhere. A bench stood alone under a tree that had survived the Reapers, and Shepard wheeled over there. She was quiet until Joker sat down. 

“I wanted to talk to you, Joker. Alone.”

“I mean, it’s not much of a party, but still. Talking to me has got to be a lot lamer.” Joker responded, a ghost of his old humor in his voice before quickly becoming extinguished. 

“It’s about EDI,” Shepard went on, looking at her lap.

“Oh man, not you too,” Joker groaned. “Look, Shepard, I appreciate the thought but really? I don’t need your condolences.” He shook his head. “Everyone keeps saying how sorry they are for me. But it’s not true, is it? Not entirely. Because behind that sorry they’re all just relieved it wasn’t their partner or their family.” His voice broke, and he looked away, before continuing softly. “It wasn’t just EDI, you know? I got the news when we landed. My dad and sister are dead too.”

Shepard felt like the air had been knocked out of her. Her stomach in knots, she began without thinking. “Joker, I’m so so-” She caught herself, remembering what he had just said. Gently, she laid her hand on Joker’s arm. For a long moment they sat there quietly, Shepard hoping her touch offered Joker at least some small comfort. Before she had to add to his grief. 

“Joker...I don’t know how to tell you this.” Shepard finally began. She made herself look at him head-on. It was the least he deserved. “EDI’s death...it’s my fault.”

Joker looked back at Shepard, then looked quickly away. His voice came out robotic, rehearsed. “It’s not your fault. Who could have known that destroying the Reapers would mean the end of all synthetic life? You did what you had to do, what we set out to do.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you though, Joker.” Shepard replied, slowly. She took a deep breath. “I...learned beforehand that synthetic life would be wiped out. It was the condition of destroying the Reapers. And Joker, you deserve to know,”  her words came out in a rush now. “I had a choice...three of them. The two others involved controlling the Reapers or synthesizing synthetic and organic life. They both involved giving up my life and a whole lot of unknowns. In the end...I chose destruction.” She hung her head. “EDI was my friend, Joker, and so are you. I stand by my decision, but I’m sorry I had to make it. I’m so sorry.”

Joker was silent for a long time. Shepard knew better than to fill the silence with more talk. Instead she sat quietly, and watched the storm erupt on his face.

“No you’re not.” He finally said, his voice a low rumble. He shot a look of pure anger and hate at Shepard, and she felt her heart sink. “You’re not my friend, and you weren’t EDI’s.” He got up and in Shepard’s face. “I can’t believe I followed someone so selfish! You never cared for EDI like I did, none of you did! She was just a tool for you! But she meant something, Shepard! Her life meant something!”

He took his SR-2 cap off and threw it at Shepard’s feet. “I’m done,” he announced in a growl, and stalked off as much as his Vrolik’s disease would allow. “Find yourself a new pilot, Shepard. And a new friend.” He called over his shoulder, leaving Shepard behind and feeling like the most awful person in the galaxy.

Later that night, after all her friends had left, Shepherd cried her frustration, guilt, and grief out into Garrus’ shoulder. He held her and stroked her hair, knowing better than to tell her it was alright, or that everything was going to end up okay, because that wasn’t what she needed.

 Right now, she just needed an anchor to prevent her from floating away, and he would be that for her. 

She sobbed for a long while. Not just about what had happened with Joker, but over what had happened these past nearly four years. She had lost so much, and sacrificed so much. Ashley, Mordin, Thane, Legion, and EDI were all gone, in part because of her decisions. Her mistakes.

“I should have died,” Shepard whispered into Garrus’ shoulder, so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. “I should have done so many things differently. It should have been me.”

Garrus pulled away from Shepard, his hands firmly grasping her shoulder as he looked into her eyes. “Don’t ever say that,” He told her fiercely. “Shepard, you saved the world. You did all you could, gave all you had.” He shook his head. “We all knew the risks, we all made our choices. We can’t take them back now. And, Shepard,” he swallowed hard, and looked away. “I’m glad you made the decision you did. No option was perfect, but at least with this one, you live.” He touched her cheek. “Hearing we had beat the Reapers was a relief, sure. But it wasn’t until I heard you were alive that I felt truly hopeful again. You living is something I want to celebrate everyday until my last...so don’t ever say you wish it had been your life on the line.” He kissed Shepard tenderly.

She sniffled and pulled at Garrus until he was laying in her narrow hospital bed too. She lay against his chest, and he held her tight.

“That’s part of what makes me feel so guilty.” She murmured. “I’m happy I lived too. Happy that I can see a future with you.”

Garrus’ heart swelled. He kissed the top of Shepard’s head. “Get some sleep, Shepard. You have a long day of physical therapy tomorrow.” 

As she drifted fretfully into the peaceful embrace of sleep, Garrus held Shepard against him, his mind working and thinking late into the night. There was something he needed to ask James, or Kaidan, or Steve, one of the human men as soon as he was able. He squeezed Shepard, and fell asleep with the image of her nestled into the crook of his arm emblazoned in his mind.

[when-wasps-fly]

Heart and Soul Games (March - Present Day)

The first night Jan stayed in Stark Tower was an accident.  She’d been at a gala with her best arm candy and hadn’t wanted to make the trip back to New Jersey so late at night.  She’d thought nothing of texting Hank that she’d be back in the morning, and crashing, absolutely trashed, into a borrowed suite.  She woke feeling terrible, both from how much she’d drank the night before and that she’d made the decision to stay out all night.  She checked her phone, terrified that Hank might have blown up her texts with demands to know where she was and why she’d stayed out all night when she’d promised to come home, but she found nothing.  Somehow, that worried her even more.

Jan called her car, dread beginning to fill, visions beginning to play at her mind of what she’d find when she got home.  Would Hank be waiting for her, offering her stern disapproval of her behavior?  Would he yell?  Would he get so angry he’d give her the silent treatment?  Jan didn’t look for Tony on her way out, and instead gave Friday her goodbyes to forward on.  Jan had an inkling that if she were to see Tony that morning, it would only serve to consummate her behavior further.  Good mothers and good wives weren’t supposed to do things like this. 

When Jan got home, however, the place was calm.  As she went upstairs to check on Henry Jr, she could hear Sr. in the lab.  She knew he could hear her walking by, but he said nothing.  He didn’t call out to her, and she sensed no tension or anger.  When she peeked into the nursery, Henry smiled at her.  “Mama!”  He was so excited to see her, Jan’s heart melted, and she wished she’d been home the night before, if only so he’d have been this excited then.  How big he’d gotten.  She picked him up from his crib and kissed his head.  He smelled slightly of vomit.  She carried him with her to the bathtub in the master suite and drew a bath for them to share. 

--

From the first moment Hank saw Nadia, he knew she was special.  He stood some ways away from customs, savoring the moment before she knew he was watching her.  She stood a few feet from Maria, as if she didn’t want anyone to think she was still young enough to need a parent’s guidance.  She looked remarkably like Maria, but unfortunately, she had taken after him as well.  She looked around the room again and again, following Maria as her mother went to the baggage claim.  She seemed to be searching, and finally Hank stepped forward.  She saw him, their eyes met, and he wanted to give her a hug, but of course she was too shy.  When she spoke, her voice was heavily accented, like she’d never had to speak English before.  “Dr. Henry Pym?”  She sounded skeptical, and so proud.  She turned to Maria and asked, “Is this him, is this Dad?”

“Hello, Nadia.”  He smiled to her, his little girl.  “You can call me Hank, or Dad, if you want.” 

--

Nadia had gone to bed.  Jet lag and a long day of travel had caught up with her, and she was taking a nap before dinner.  Downstairs in the living room, Hank and Maria chatted over a cup of coffee.  It had been so long since she’d been taken from him, so long that she’d been forced to work for the Hungarian government, that Hank hadn’t any idea what to ask her.  He would have listened to anything she had to share, whether it was a new marriage or a grocery list.  But all she had to say, it turned out, was about Nadia.  Nadia had inherited his talent and interest in science.  Nadia had won a high school competition in engineering, Nadia wanted to do work in space, Nadia was looking into some of the top programs in the US to study. 

After listening to Nadia’s CV, Hank felt himself anxious over smaller details.  When she was little, her room had been blue.  She loved to sing Disney songs, especially from Mulan.  She was popular at school, and had enough friends Maria complained about the cost of all those birthday presents.  She had loved horses as a little girl, but when she saw how big they were had been too scared to take lessons. 

When Jan arrived home, she was delighted to meet Maria.  She was much younger, Hank realized, much closer to Nadia’s age.  She suggested dinner at China Blue, and when Nadia woke, she was excited to go.  She looked out of place in one of Jan’s restaurants, with  her converse and her sweater, but Hank wouldn’t have had her any other way.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she read the menu and mumbled to Maria for help with the half-English, half-pin-yin menu and as she answered his questions about school and her interests. 

--

Jan took an immediate liking to Nadia.  The girl was funny and friendly, and after a few days, she insisted to both Hank and Maria that no girl had seen New York until she’d gone boutiqueing.  Hank waivered, as if he had almost asked to come with.  Jan told Nadia in the car that it was the closest he’d ever come to tagging along, and just how special Nadia should know she was to him.

As per Maria’s request, Jan took pictures of every outfit Nadia tried on and posed in.  As per Nadia’s request, she neglected to mention a few items they’d bought that afternoon. 

--

Maria stood by the window until the car was out of sight.  The light illuminated her hair so that the faint red glowed, and her face, though full of care for the daughter who had just gone into the city without her, looked radiant.  Hank had only meant to go and comfort her, to tell her that Nadia was with the greatest Avenger of them all, to wipe the worry from her features.  When he took her hand, which was warm, and small, and soft in a way ladies’ hands only become once they reach a certain age, he felt compelled to kiss it.  Maria didn’t step away.  She smiled, and suddenly they were caught up in a mutual fantasy, as if the years between them had never passed, as if their daughter had grown up with two parents, as if things were so different from the life they had lived. 

Hank had found, again, the woman he’d loved since they were both in graduate school.  He rejoiced in saying her name again and again, hearing her, feeling her, making her real.  This was no replacement; this was no second-best.  A different sort of weariness suited her face much better. 

--

Since Nadia and Maria had arrived in the States, Jan found all her home time occupied by hosting them.  It was a rare moment, more and more so, that she had alone with neither one to entertain not her own son to mother.  It was on one such afternoon, as Hank brought Nadia to see Columbia University and Maria had occupied herself that Jan gratefully took the spare time to herself in her sewing room to play with silks and taffetas. 

It wasn’t long before Tabby arrived and lay down right in the middle of her pile of slippery fabrics.  She smiled to him and reached down to pet him.  He purred and looked up at her, making her smile.  “Hey Tabby Tabs.”  She was half way through a shift dress when she reached down to pet him again.  He’d fallen asleep, and had stopped purring.  She dug her nails into his pelt and scratched him the way he liked, trying to wake him just enough so he’d purr again for her. 

The purr didn’t come, and when she tried to wake him up by tickling his whiskers, Jan realized why.  “No….No, no, no…”  She was on the floor that very second, stroking his cool fur and placing her hand on his muzzle to feel breath.  Her own breath came quickly, as she scooped him up in layers of fabric and clutched him close, not willing to touch him and not willing to let go.  “No, no, no, you were supposed to see me through.”  She held him tightly, though he didn’t shift in her arms to the best positions to be held by her.  She sobbed into the fabric, every second knowing with more certainty what had happened.  “I love you!” she said, in a voice so loud it surprised her.  “I loved you,” she said, more quietly. 

Panic began to set in.  What did one do with a dead body?  Did one put it in the freezer until it could be cremated?  Did one burry it in the yard?  Did one need a death certificate for a cat?  All the while, she couldn’t imagine letting go of Tabby. 

--

Tabby had died in the sun, but both he and Jan were in the shade between the windows by the time she had made up her mind.  She wrapped him in silk until he couldn’t be seen, and downstairs she put him in the sub-0.  Then, she had herself driven to Stark Tower. 

Tony was out.  Jan was glad of that.  She saw herself to the one floor Friday would permit her, and lay down on the bed, and reveled in being alone.  It was the one place in the world she didn’t have to share.

--

It was late when she had a visitor—or rather, when she was met by the man she was visiting.  She’d cried herself into a doze of sorts, where her mind stayed between grief and weariness, when he arrived.  “Jan?” he woke her, calling from the living room.  She met him out there, even as she rubbed the sleep from her clothes and eyes.  He looked worse for wear.  It was dark out, of the sort of late that hung between late and early, a time without time. “When did we make plans?” 

Jan sank into a chair.  All the naps in the world couldn’t have given her the energy to justify herself now.  “I’m sorry to show up unannounced.”  She wished the misery could just step aside, but her lips twitched into an ugly smile and a tear rolled down her cheek.  “I’m so sorry.”  There was one place she didn’t have to share, and it wasn’t her own—it wasn’t hers to keep for herself. 

That clearly hadn’t been what Tony had been expecting of her, and Jan would later wish she’d said nothing was the matter, or wish she hadn’t come at all.  In the moment, however, Tony was the first person she’d seen since she left Tabby in the freezer and insisted her driver leave her alone to her thoughts.  It felt silly, at first, to tell him why she’d arrived red-eyed with no forewarning.  After all, she explained, “He was just a little cat.  Haven’t we done enough that something this small…?”  Jan didn’t know how she had meant to finish that sentence, but the question lingered on the air. 

But even little cats can bring hope and love when those things were needed.  For years now, Tabby had helped to dull the pain of a poorly matched marriage and of a neglected child.  Now, who or what could dull the pain of losing Tabby? 

--

It was easy, with Jan away so often lately, for Hank and Maria to keep the affair alive.  Even with two children in the house and the staff around most of the time, they found themselves able to dodge open ears and avoid inquiring minds. 

Whole evenings would pass, as if Hank, Maria, and Nadia were normal, and as if it had always only ever been the three of them.  They could spend the day together, take day drips to  the mountains or to the beach or to the City, then have dinner together, and relax in the living room together or take a walk to the park, practically without risk of interruption.  Hank made good on that as often as he could, and never once did Jan come home at an inopportune time, shattering the feeling of family they’d managed to piece together after all these years. 

When she did come home, Hank recognized disapprovingly, she came home drunk or late in the night.  She never wanted to talk, and she was always too tired and grumpy. 

This suited Hank perfectly fine.  Jan didn’t fit into the new fantasy he’d created with Maria, and as long as Jan was mopey and grumpy and wanted nothing to do with him, he didn’t have to acknowledge her as his wife. 

--

The days grew longer and warmer and Jan spent more time at Stark Tower, “to be closer to work,” she’d tell Hank, “to  be closer to the Avengers,” she’d tell the press.  Her eyes started to show deep shadows, despite how Jan slept more than ever. 

She found herself in a limbo of sorts.  Every day she spent at Stark Tower was a day closer to what felt like the inevitable day when she should just buy or rent somewhere in the City of her own to call her own.  Yet every time she considered this, she was held back by the vows she’d made years ago with Hank at the courthouse.  Some little part of her didn’t want to say she’d given up. 

--

It was obvious Hank was cheating.  She found Maria’s underwear mixed in with hers in the laundry basket, and Hank had completely lost interest in her.  He was never happy she was home, never even tried to kiss her anymore.  There were never flowers or gifts or some scientific achievement in her name.  He didn’t talk to her about their son, or about work, or even about Nadia.

And one of the guest rooms smelled like sex.  He must have thought she wouldn’t have noticed, but she did. 

Again, Janet cried by herself as she mourned the loss of whatever she thought might have still been there between the both of them and what might have been rekindled once Maria and Nadia went home.  She wept until the tears were gone, and sadness had washed away into some feeling a little more resolute than the last, some meaningful acceptance of her relationship with Hank. 

In a way, after that, it was easier to come home than it had been in a long time.  She became, in a way, a part of the fantasy that Hank and Maria had been playing for a long time.  They seemed to know that she knew, and while none of them said it, then they could all pretend that none of it was real—neither Hank’s first marriage, nor his second.  Each went wordlessly about their business, each keeping out of one another’s way, with Nadia none the wiser.

--

Finding the Soul Gem was an accident. 

Using it wasn’t. 

By late summer, Jan had finally had enough with her and Hank’s charade of maintaining one another in their lives.  Words were said which couldn’t be unsaid, and it was with mutual satisfaction and mutual grief that they arrived at the same courthouse as in which they had married just two years ago.  The documents were signed quickly enough.  Neither had tried to sue for anything; Hank had no claim over what had been Jan’s and Jan had no interest in what was Hank’s.  She just wanted things over. 

The ink was still wet on the page and Jan must have had some dampness about her eye.  When Hank reached out to touch her arm in a gesture of consolation, she pulled away.  “Did you think we’d be friends after this?” she asked.  She pulled out the green gem she’d brought along for one single purpose.  “Let’s forget we ever did this,” she pleaded.

And then he was gone, back to her house where he would continue hosting his wife and daughter. 

For the first time in months, years maybe, Jan felt light and carefree.  The Cold War was drawing to a satisfactory close, and Ant Man had just officially retired from the team.  That was a weight off her chest—one less person to worry about.   It was with a carefree cheer she hadn’t felt in ages that she invited her friends out that night for the first time in far too long.

[fa-ahhhh]

I bought my first bralette today and a the first belt in about two years. I have never really felt so confident as I do in this moment. So I want to tell my story. Disclaimer: I'm a sappy person and I've been wanting to post this for a while. so get ready. So in 2016 I wanted to live me more, is was the goal after the shittiest year that 2015 was. That year I was 245lbs. I didn't like the way I looked or sounded or even acted. I had horrible depression anxiety and self harm problems. Things only seemed to get worst by the end of the Sr year of high school. I felt left out because all of the people I was close to where dating someone and didn't seem to care about me. I ended up having a fling and it left me feeling dirty. When I ended it I had made a new friend and she was in the end of her relationship. I saw she liked someone. I told her, after I kissed her, that I liked them too. I didn't (sorry love) but I wanted her to be with him and she thrives under competition. When they got together I was left in almost the same spot. Alone. I tried to reach out to my best friend before her but when I went over to her house or try to make plans she seemed awkward and cancel them. In fact she got mad at me because I tried to make a Christmas party bigger with more people I found out months later that she told me she canceled it only to have it with her boyfriend and a few. other people. Yes I know about that and it hurts. I became close to those who wanted my time. I didn't stop trying to be everyone's friend though. If stop in the halls and stand there. I could honestly go on and on about my attempts to just stay close to those who I knew. It became pointless. One of my dearest friends started to try to end a very abusive relationship I would like to say that I hope me and him can continue to support each other through everything we do. He and other mutual friends in later months told me all that my best friend had done or said in regards to my hurt feelings. By the time graduation has round I've completely given up, that my best friend for three years was happy I cried over her, that my support system didn't care. So desperate to be wanted I dated someone who is a poor poor fit for me it only lasted about a month and I made the mistake of going back to my fling. Sadly the loss of my best friend wasn't the worst to happen in 2015. My fling "loved" me. He stuck his dick in me knowing I didn't want to have sex. Many times. He held on so tight every time I tried to leave his house because I stayed with some one who used my body to masturbate with. This went on for most of the summer it was an aggressive like it was the first time we had sex many times and I thought it was fine. I didn't understand I didn't want that. When I stopped talking to him he showed up at my work fucked up at 4 am. I felt bad for him and so I was going to give them a ride home he wouldn't get out of my car at his house and insisted we went to "our spot" one last time. He kept trying to tour my face so I went so he'd stop touching me. When we got there I stayed two arm's-length away from him. Then when I went to leave he kissed me. When you're being kissed a few hundred feet above water you can't go far. It was so aggressive. I didn't talk afterward. He just kept saying if I'm not the last I'll be the best. You weren't. I never talked to him after that other then don't talk to me. I didn't tell anyone about it until about a month later because I thought I consented before and then I realize I never really did I just became implied because he took it from me once why should I stop him a second third or fourth time. I hated myself so much that I was concerned I was gonna try and kill myself again. I've been working on a tattoo that said myself over a heart so I got it because I had to start loving myself. I got it over a self harm scar I got at the end of my junior year of high school I was taken to the ER over it. I went to college parties and made out with boys and I cried. All I could think was him touching me and grabbing me and hurting me. For some reason I got my work placed it up to me and I wanted him to a knowledge me. Our very short shorts when I came in to check my schedule when I knew he was working and he checked out me. One of my English assignments was to create an argumentative essay about rape. It was hard. So ducking hard. I brought it to work and sat down in the back booth and it up telling the guy was trying to attract about how it has happened to me and how writing this paper was hard. Encouraged me and told me about what happened to him when he was 11 years old. For A month after I turn in my paper and we talked and flirted constantly. After so much I got put on of third shift he was managing it was so slow I farted all night and about 20 minutes before the opening manager came in I kissed him because he made a remark about how he wouldn't kiss me because I cried when I kissed boys. I woke up gitty and unafraid. A few days later I almost cut off two fingers. The end of the year we came to rollaround and he gave me my first New Year's kiss. Thanks to him and my current friends I made it to 2016 and that year I decided it was for me. It was for me to love me and put me first and for me to realize that none of my past was worth it. In 2016 I was a vengeful and petty I found out so many things with Heather true or not does not matter I found out how much I was blamed for it only made me angry and disappointed. I found out what a big whore and lead on I was in high school even though it only dated three people. I found out the way people felt about me or at least what they were told. That year I wanted to do something that seemed so stupid I wanted to be a model so I did it. I went to two different talent agencies and chose the one that didn't creep me out. After about a month there I found out that my ex best friend was employed under them. There is a moment that one over me of maybe somehow will end up friends out of this again like they do in movies. Now I realize there would be no point and that if we ever see each other we should probably just act if we were strangers. That would be hard because I'd like to tell you how incredibly wrong you are in so many ways of so many things you assumed. And these are things that I've assumed these are things that your best friends have told me. And it's not because I contacted them because they were hurt by you. And 2016 most of my friends left my part of the states going on to bigger and better things. Happy for them I was sad and alone however I have this boy who somehow made me feel amazing about myself again. 2016 I got back on my feet I didn't hate myself I mean there are moments that were hard of course but I had someone to pick me up every step of the way. There are times I don't know what to say to those who I care about and I wish there was just a phrase I could say and they would understand but there isn't. Thank you and I love you it's not good enough for them. Now in 2017 I am strong I am brave and I am loved by so many people by myself that I can post pictures of myself in a bralette. I can show my progress and working out and being healthier and I am on afraid. I will take whatever consequences I have to to become the person I want to be. So if you read this thank you for your concern I am a better person now possibly thanks to you. ✌🏼️