#i wish we had more 40s doc content

[daryfromthefuture]

this is my 40s doc headcanon post

because i CANNOT get him out of my brain. i'm going to yell about him for a while now sorry not sorry

have another lovely image of him before we begin

general headcanons:

he is shy. even at work he's one of the most quiet people and prefers to do his research by himself. he is NOT the type of person to actively work with his teammates. bear with him he's just very much socially awkward and a massive introvert

like he pretty much always was, he's a bookworm. he definitely took his entire jules verne book collection to los alamos you can NOT convince me otherwise

a lot of people smoked in the 40s and i can see him being convinced to try it. he genuinely doesn't like it and thus never develops a habit

what if los alamos was the place doc discovered his alcohol problem. i watched the show "manh(a)ttan" because of this interest and it was commonly shown that the people there were going out in the evening and stuff. now i don't know historically accurate the show is but i like the idea of doc going to drink some wine and feeling miserable to the extent that he swears to never touch alcohol again. at least not until 1885

no matter how many times he tries to style his hair so it's slick, it is absolutely no use. he has messy hair and it's kind of become a thing where people recognize him because of it.

ah yeah about the hair. the work on the project causes him a lot of stress and the end when he goes through a lot of emotional turmoil does too obviously. which causes his hair to go white/light blonde at age 30. damn.

also apparently exposure to radiation can cause hair to fall out so doc probably goes through that kind of episode too (he's super sad about it)

he's one of the only people on the base who don't have a family or at the very least a spouse. he's super lonely but overall absolutely the kindest person you could possibly meet there

i think, other than gaining more scientific knowledge and helping the war effort, one of emmett's main motivations to join the manhattan project is the wish to restore his reputation in hill valley. which sadly goes wrong as we all can imagine.

coffee is the only thing he runs on. he barely sleeps because he has no one to tell him to go to bed at a reasonable time

when he's invested in some sort of calculation or problem he wants to solve DO NOT DISTURB HIM or he'll snap. this is not 80s doc and this emmett has quite the pride despite it not showing on the surface

in my head he becomes one of the most important scientists credited for the results on the project. people respect him and go to him for advice even though he's still fairly young when he joins (28). the whole thing allows him to gain knowledge on plutonium and nuclear physics in general, eventually allowing him to build the delorean time machine forty years later. but it comes at a cost and doc has moments where he'd rather throw his life's work and his family fortune away in exchange for never having lived through the painful memories and guilt.

headcanons about 40s doc & marty:

while marty never visited him in canon, there might be a timeline where he did, and in that case i think doc would find this boy strange. like. even more strange than 50s doc.

depending on the timeline (post telltale game or no telltale game) doc knows him from the 30s and is like. hm. something is odd why hasn't this boy aged

if doc did not know him beforehand, he'd think he's weird for a few days, but then let him into his life as a result of deep loneliness

he and marty would form a bond stronger than he did with any of the other scientists in los alamos. why? because marty's actually interested in his life outside of the project and asks basic things such as "how are you doing" while his colleagues would most likely just suck up to him to make use of his high position

marty would punch everyone in the face who even dares to utter an insult about doc, especially post-bombings

while 50s/80s doc acts more like a father towards marty, 40s doc would be a mixture of father and best friend. 40s doc is more mature than 30s emmett but certainly resembles him in more ways than 50s doc does. he's naive and sometimes just too kind and super stubborn and thus sometimes is more interested in his own needs than in marty's.

he acceps the nickname "doc" with no hesitation

marty is the only person that doc allows himself to let his guard down around after probably wearing a stone face for a while. marty makes it clear that he would never judge or blame him and allows doc to be vulnerable around him as much as he wants/needs

they are best friends. their friendship works in every decade what else did you think

ANYWAY that's it for now

i may or may not eventually write a fic about him and his experiences (without marty, basically twin pines doc timeline) but we'll see. i make no promises

[celestriakle]

I posted 2,331 times in 2022

That's 230 more posts than 2021!

16 posts created (1%)

2,315 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hellonorik

@roach-works

@becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

@teaboot

@elodieunderglass

I tagged 2,053 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#bugsnax - 138 posts

#deltarune - 59 posts

#tumblr - 55 posts

#undertale - 52 posts

#snorts - 52 posts

#pretty art - 45 posts

#angelic apparitions - 39 posts

#goncharov - 36 posts

#cool ocs - 35 posts

#animal vid - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#i’ve lived in what america considers a walkable city vs what europe does and they’re not even remitely similar

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

✨ 💸 🤔 ⚠️ 🛠 📉 ✨

- the good wizard

1 note - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

I recognize carcinization has begun and look forward to evolving to my true form.

2 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#3

Farewell Sweet Crabs 👋 🦀

When I remember my crab friends I'll think of:

the turning of the tides

2 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

#2

hi! just a quick question, have you listened to limetown? seeing the podcasts you liked in your pinned post, i think you might enjoy it! you have awesome taste in podcasts btw!

Thank you!!

Not yet! It's been on my to-listen list pretty much since I started listening to podcasts though. I've been really moseying to getting around to it since there was the long hiatus+I heard the ending wasn't great. Idk if that's true though, so I'm still planning on giving it a shot!

3 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hi! I found your at from a zine modding advice compilation doc. I am planning to make a zine, but I have no experience modding. I was wondering if I could get your advice on how to make realistic/fulfillable plans as a newbie?

Hi there! I'm in a zine mod advice doc? 0: I had no idea, could you send me a link? I'm curious!

So, I ran my zine solo and it was my first time running any sort of project like this. It was saddlestitched 30-40 pages (I don't remember exactly; this was several years ago) and we did merch: an enamel pin, a sticker sheet, a die-cut sticker, and two holographic prints. In the end, we made enough money to cover our costs and pay out $6 (approximately) to each contributor, but did not raise enough money to offer complimentary copies of the physical zine/merch. I was aiming to have enough for complimentary copies, which is why I'd call the project a semi-success.

This got long! But here's pretty much all the advice I got:

Know your audience. Is it a fandom zine? How big is the fandom? Original content zines will struggle more to gain interest. How big is YOUR platform, specifically? As lead, the onus is on you to get the word out at the start to attract contributors and potential buyers. Try to gauge how many copies you might sell from this. Lean conservative on your estimate and base your plan on that. (This is where interest checks come in!)

Pick your vendors. Familiarize yourself with the terminology they use. Compare and contrast prices and services using the sales estimate you devised in the last step. How long does shipping take? What is the policy if products come out defective? There are always going to be some defective products when producing en masse. Check reviews. Have you bought zines yourself? Contact the creators of zines you like and ask them which vendors they're using for their assorted products. (I had a great experience with mixam.) Don't forget to look into acquiring packaging and shipping costs (domestic and international)!

Decide how you're going to sell the zine. Kickstarter's great if you're using a vendor that has a set MOQ (minimum order quantity) or if you want to guarantee to be able to provide a certain level of compensation for your contributors, but it also takes a fee and means that, if you don't get enough orders, you have to start the campaign all over again. Bigcartel has more flexibility in terms of sales windows and such, but it's difficult to customize like kickstarter. Also, if you're using bigcartel and don't sell enough, you're on the hook for either refunding or fulfilling all the preorders you do get. You'll also need a stripe and paypal business account.

Make a budget. So you have an estimate of how many you think you'll sell. You know how much your vendors cost. You've accounted for your incidentals (kickstarter fee, packaging, gas to get to the post office, etc). Refer to other zines for what typical prices for your products are and set your prices based on that. (Analyzing what other zines are doing is generally a good idea.) What's the absolute minimum number of sales you need to cover costs? (Fewer orders usually increases production cost.) How many sales do you need to make to compensate your contributors? What will you do if there's excess money? What if it's not enough to split it among your contributors evenly? ($40 is a lot for one person, but it's basically nothing split 30 ways.) Are you going to make stretch goals?

Make a timeline. Interest check, contributor apps, concept submissions (you'll want to know what people are doing before they start working), periodic WIP checks to make sure everyone's on task (there will always be a few people who need to drop out), preorder period, manufacture time, shipping timeline. People will want to know what to expect, especially contributors. Ensure the contributors have plenty of time to work, since, chances are, they're effectively donating their time and effort. Keep in mind major holidays and school schedules; people will need more time if those are happening. Give yourself plenty of pillow space for unforseen issues, so you can stick to this timeline as much as possible throughout the process.

Have the full plan written out for your contributors before they arrive. Be clear and concise. Timeline, expectations in terms of content and behavior, instructions, how you're going to fulfill the zine, expected compensation. Not everyone knows how to prepare an image for print, so include that in your instructions. You're gonna want a discord for this. I also used google forms to manage check-ins and other such things.

Be involved, and COMMUNICATE. Talk to your contributors outside of check-ins. You're their hypeman! Hype them up! Make sure your passion's there for all to see! Nothing, and I mean nothing, kills a project faster than a disinterested/aloof leader. You'll also want to communicate any issues to contributors and buyers asap. It's not embarrassing; people will be patient (mostly) as long as they have communication. Silence is upsetting.

Consider marketing. I've written this as if you're going solo, but these next few bullets is why people usually run zines as a team. Once the contributor team is assembled, that's when you need to hit the bricks. There's a lot of waiting time and you need to gain a potential audience and keep them interested. Marketing is a weak point of mine, so I don't have much advice, but it's critical for the success of a zine. Contributors can advertise a little, but the bulk of that's on you. You'll want an account dedicated to the zine, I can say that much.

Is graphic design your passion? Even if a contributor is designing the cover, what will be on the inner page? The back cover? Do you have any writers contributing fic? That will need formatting. (Do you know how many words fit on a page? It's different depending on the size of the book.) You'll need to make some sort of credits page, or will you put credit information on the same page as each contribution? Quality graphic design can make or break marketing attempts.

Double check your contributors' work. There are going to make mistakes. Most people aren't used to preparing things for print. Having room for bleed (edges of an image that may be cut off during the printing process, or hidden when bound into a book) was a particular issue in my zine. Even if all this is written in your instructions, you'll get files with not enough bleed room, or in RBG (files must be in CMYK for print), or in too low a resolution (300 dpi minimum). Any issues need to be caught, corrected, and all the files compiled for submission to the printer.

Don't forget postage. I mentioned this briefly earlier, but don't forget to account for packaging and shipping in your budget and time. Things like pins can make a slim package too thick and change the postage class. You'll need room in your house to hold the product. You'll want to pack things to ensure nothing's dented or bent. I highly recommend against having a shipping mod, unless it's someone you know and trust very much. I've seen too many projects fall apart because a shipping mod ghosted or stole all the materials or similar issues.

Have a backup plan. What will you do if you only get five people wanting to be contributors? What if you don't sell enough to cover your costs? What if you get bad product? What if you don't hit the MOQ of your chosen vendor, or if they announce a spontaneous price change before you get your order in? Have answers!

Be confident. If you're not used to leadership, it can be weird to have everyone looking to you, but if you've prepared, then there's no reason to be nervous. The people you work with will respond to your energy, so put out those good vibes.

I enjoyed making my zine very much, but also, it was still very much work! I discovered I hate marketing and graphic design, and love the technical bits of arranging the vendors and budgeting and handling the materials. I probably wouldn't go solo again, but I'm glad I did it at least once because it taught me the ins and outs of every aspect. A lot of people, for their first zine, do digital only because, needless to say, physical product is complicated!

If you made it this far, congratulations. xD It felt nice laying out everything I learned; I hope it's just as useful for you to read.

Feel free to ask if you have any further questions!

82 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[halfemptygirlrps-archive]

Polyamory CAN work (long post)

As a black, queer woman who could very well be poly, I am always looking for content to feed my soul and have for a few years now. I know I grumble about white/het couples a lot which makes me sound some kind of way but I ship a ton of white couples, that isn’t the problem. It’s the way representation is stepped on these days with toxic white couples being seen as true love that upsets me. And this is coming from a chick that lowkey ships Reylo.

I don’t understand and never will why writers in 2020 think that the only demographic there is are the people who can’t handle seeing anything but a white male and a white female be together. Interracial relationships CAN and DO work and f/f or m/m relationships or any race CAN work, so guess what, so can relationships involving three or more people and while difficult, it can work, even if the people are different races.

My annoyance also stems from Poly woman really getting shat on when writers hit a wall. Very few times have I seen it work out and that’s so stupid to me because she shouldnt’ have to choose.

I start with Wynonna Earp, a CLEARLY Poly woman with a strong sexual appetite that never gets shamed. She loved both Dolls and Doc and though Shamier left the show effectively forcing her to Doc, they still made it clear that she was poly and capable of having feelings for more than one man when they brought in Charlie. He was patient and sweet and while all three men wanted Wynonna to themselves, they NEVER gave her an ultimatum and even while PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER MAN’S BABY  Dolls still loved her and held her in bed. I believe that had Shamier (Dolls)  not left that they would have went on waiting for her to choose but also letting her know that she didn’t have to.

Then there’s my first real Poly stan, Bo Dennis from Lost Girl. Unapologetically bisexual and poly, Bo was in control at all times, both of her relationships and her sexuality. While she needed sex to feed like a vampire needs blood,she also enjoyed it and didn’t view it as a curse or burden and her partners were alwasy consenting, which was amazing. Lauren never shamed Bo (in fact she praised her sexuality and wished she could keep up) for liking men (thus not being toxic to bi women, which is an issue in the community I wont get into) and Dyson, Bo’s male lover never pressured her to submit to him. Here she is pictured with Tamsin, Dyson and Lauren, all her lovers, at once.

If all three of them can be respectful and understanding while each of them were with Bo alone, not a quad, then why do they make it seem so hard to have three people love each other? And yes, I know that couples break up, but on Tv they just dont need to when it’s what a show is based on.

I could go on about Bo all day but I will move on to one of my favorite movies: Prof. Marsden and the Wonder Women.

Now real or not this story had everything. It showed how slowly and steadily they grew to love each other, the highs and lows and the shame of the community that made them all stronger together. Was there jealousy at times, yeas, but they addressed it and learned that they didnt’ need to be and that they could all be together happily and that it could be easy to be in love with more than one person. Sure, it was the 40s but in this day and age it’s nothing to hide, and if they could have a happily ever after back then, why couldn’t it happen now? 

Could it be because of race? Without kidding ourselves, we know that every fandom is capable of being toxic and that it’s just fact that the black girl is often hated. I call it the Iris West treatment, where the clear canon couple is hated and the black girl is trashed for the white option. I quit Supergirl after Season 2 but I hear that Jimmy’s sister is getting said treatment now from a friend that still watches and I am not surprised.  You can’t force an actor to stay on a show and I get that having their ship destroyed build animosity, but I really can’t help but feel like had the other girl been white it wouldn’t have been such a huge issue. A Stefan vs Damon issue none the less, but still, less so. I say that because I have seen actual people defend Mon El in that fandom but saying “what’s wrong with owning slaves?” NUff said. 

Another reason I bring up why it could be race is because of You, Me, Her.

I really enjoy this show and will be sad to see it and and while I recommend it, there are flaws, but none of these flaws seems to be that the three of them can’t work past it and get back together. 

Emma and Jack are married, Izzy comes in and shakes up their world and they both fall ass over elbows in love with her and her with them. They go through the usual things:jealousy, favoritism, hiding their relationship then coming out, but they always work through it. When Jack leaves to date an ex, he comes back. When Emma leaves to date and ex, she comes back. When Jack and Emma think about moving away and Izzy doesn’t want to, they come back. When Izzy has a thing with a co-worker, she still chooses Jack and Emma because they know they all need and love each other. They even have babies together! Izzy sees the sonogram and her heart stops. She realizes that she is going to be their actual mom and they all get married and even look into tri custody because they know they are a family and that it’s not an odd man out type of thing. They try it with other people and with just one another but they know where they’re hearts belong. It works. Does it work because they’re all white? NOPE

Sense8 was a brilliant show. Here everyone was represented and it was such a shame they killed it. Still, they showed us that sexuality can be fluid and that a fandom can be supportive. Raj and Kala married in spite Kala loving someone else. They never made her choose and in the end, they accepted that she was poly and wanted both and guess what? The two guys even fell for each other! Here is a white, bisexual male with his Indian partners. India isn’t the greatest with being gay so for Raj this must have been stranger and scary but they both made him feel safe and comfortable, loved and supported and in the end it was canon that they were all going to be together and learn as they go. Like with You, Me, Her, the fandom is supportive of this and while we didn’t get much of Rajalagang, it is clear that they can work regardless of skin color, religion, and even long distance.

So then why not Polymarine? It was clear it tested well with the audience, haters aside, so what made them feel like they couldn’t carry on? Sure, people fall out of love, but in the show, they just didnt’ need to. Before Ryn Ben and Maddie were together without issue for almost a year. It was made clear every time that he was in love with her, that they had chemistry and that he was attracted to her, so how do they justify saying that this:

Wasn’t real and meant nothing? That this

Wasn’t the same?

If other relationships can survive and thrive then what is it that was so hard, so difficult for the writers that they remove the credit that they themselves paved the way for and throw it aside for something that has been done literally thousands of times? Why throw away what made you unique to fall in line? Why does a show about mermaids have to have this be the “realistic” thing?

[cescalr]

9 and 23 for the ask game please 😊

9: Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

Ooh, um... I'm not sure! Something substantial for Cursed 2005, maybe, like a crossover with buffy or teen wolf or something, with jimbo as the pairing from cursed and idk just something interesting (please no b*angel or st*rek or st*dia), or a time travel fic for Supernatural that involves Dean as the POV but absolutely zero, nada, nothing of (even hints) De*tiel or winc*st, that's 100% a fix-it fic (bc my mans deserved a lot better than that ending smh. And so did Jo, and Anna, and Lisa and Ben and Charlie and Benny and- ).

23: What's one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

Hmm... Just go for it? Like, write whatever comes to mind and post it. And keep doing that. Over and over again, because it's all the same thing - practise. If you can't think of an idea, there's no reason not to go trawling for prompts. I've got this list of 200 prompts, can't remember where I found it, but it's really useful if I'm stuck. But yeah. Find some time, any amount of time, whether its 5 minutes or five hours, and write what you can, as much as you can, whether it's ten words or 10,000, or more or less, it doesn't matter. Just get words on screen (or on paper, if you prefer.) And then... post it. If the main issue is getting the courage to post it, don't read back over it. That's when the nervousness rears it's ugly head. Just post it. Straight up. Type right into the Ao3 doc and hit post if you have to, just... find a way to minimise the amount of time you give yourself to get all worked up about whether it's 'good enough' or not. It won't be perfect the first time you write something - nothing ever is. Everything requires practise. And each time you post something, you get better at it. It gets easier. If proofreading is the bane of your existence, just post it and come back later to fix any issues. If titling it is a problem pick a random word or a song lyric or hell, a sentence from the fic, anything at all. 'Working Title | Stiles POV All Human AU Stira Fic', even. Just. Anything. You can always change it later. Summaries an issue? Grab the first paragraph. Grab the first sentence. Put 'Stiles POV all human au, stira focus.' as the summary. Who cares? You. Can. Always. Change. It. Later.

That's the great thing about fic. Changing everything later is possible. Nothing here is permanent. If you aren't happy with something, that doesn't matter. So long as it's out there, you can get feedback (because often, we don't know why we aren't happy with something - outside help is always invaluable). Being scared of criticism is half the problem, for a lot of people... but - not to sugar coat - it's necessary. And, just to note, in my 10 years of fanfic writing, I have never, ever, gotten a single malicious comment. Not. Once. It's much rarer than people think it is. And even if you do, you can always delete it. Put comments on moderation, turn them off, if it's the main issue. Gather your confidence at your own pace - but don't forget feedback is necessary for improvement. Eventually you will need to accept it's going to happen - it's not an attack on you. It's an attempt at help. We're taught in school to consume media critically, and those who internalise that will comment constructively. English class can leave an impression - the worst thing is to take any of it personally. Having a negative mindset (they hate it) versus a positive mindset (they want me to improve at this thing I enjoy doing, they're trying to help, they're being supportive) can make all the difference.

Eventually, you'll need to turn those comments back on. But you don't need to take anyone's shit, hence why moderation is a thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate - but it's rare you'll get the latter. Tone is hard to convey in text form; benefit of the doubt is the best way forward.

Make sure you've got friends/mutuals you can ramble with about your fics. it's genuinely the most helpful thing. Give them snippets, do the whole cheerleader routine for each other. It's great. Brainstorm with each other. Not necessarily doing collaborative fic (though you might find that's what works best for you!) but just, geeking out with each other. It makes a huge boost for your ego, and that's useful for your confidence when it comes to posting things. But also, if you trust them, it makes taking their advice easier.

Sometimes, it might feel like two steps forward and one step back. That's great! It's still a step forward. Go at your own pace. The worst thing you can do is rush yourself and burn out. If it takes you a year to update, it takes you a year. I assure you, the readers will still be there, and they'll be happy to see the update. Nobody's going to hate you for taking your time. Prioritise your health. I promise it makes your work better if you're in a good place, and you don't have too much on your plate.

Though, having said that, if you find you work best with about twenty wips all at once updated every week, then go for it! Like I said; your own pace. If a schedule helps you, have one. If it doesn't, don't. I don't have a schedule. I have about 40 wips posted, and a few that aren't yet. It can take me a year to update, or I'll do four in a week. People are pleased either way - what matters is that you wrote something, and it exists, and other people can read it. Isn't that awesome? You've made something. You've made a mark. Someone's happy because of you, because you wrote something they like. Who cares if there's twenty typos and you use the wrong you're* (*or equivalent in your language, ofc) - you can fix that later. And it didn't stop that person's enjoyment of the first fic you ever posted, which might not be as good as your future fics, but it's still special. It's still yours.

Prioritise the thing you want to prioritise. Plot, relationships (of any nature), whatever. Prioritise that. The rest will fall into place. Personally, I prioritise characterisation. interpersonal dynamics follow, part and parcel of character exploration, then plot, as an extension. Do what suits you. And people don't tend to mind very much about any of these. If characterisation matters to you not one whit, just put OOC in the tags and be done with it. Plot doesn't matter? Perfectly fine! You don't want to write ships? Nobody's forcing you. Do what you want. It's just fanfiction. That's kind of the point. There's no need to feel pressure to write a certain thing. I'm in a lot of fandoms with a lot of very large ships. I'd get a lot more readers if I wrote st*rek, or d*stiel, or whatever, but I don't, because I wouldn't enjoy it. Write what you want to see. What you want to read. That's the best advice I can give. If you cry at your own fic, perfect. If you laugh at your own fic, brilliant. If your own fic leaves you all giddy like, grinning wide, amazing. It's gonna give someone else that reaction, too.

Hits, kudos, comments - they're not everything. Ao3, for harry potter, has 5000 pages of fic, with some of the tags I don't like excluded. It's not a case of people not liking your fic - it's a case of people not finding it. Don't worry. Recognition will come with time. Also, the ratio for fics is kind of awful, anyway. Comments and kudos vs hits is always poor; 2%, 5%, 7%. Don't worry too much about it. If people read it, it's likely they liked it. A lot of people are just lazy, and don't press the kudos button. A lot of people are incredibly nervous, or don't know what to say, so they don't comment. Another thing; some of your fics are going to be more popular than others. This is normal. Fandom size, fandom activity, content of fic, tags - prevalence of fic type, etc etc. One of my fics has around 15k notes. the rest are all below 6k. the runner up is a whole 10k below that fic. This is to be expected, and it's nothing to tear your hair out about. Write, first and foremost, for yourself. The rest, as always, comes later.

Really, tldr; you can always fix it later. the rest comes later. recognition comes later. the best thing to do - the first thing to do, the only thing to do - is just start. Post something. Anything. And go from there however you wish.

In 2016 i had zero subscribers on Ao3. I've got 72 now. These things just take time. In 2016 i'd written 30k words. I've written 1.2 million now. These things just take time. Through fandom, mostly fanfiction, I've gained people I'd consider friends. I think it's a really cool endeavour, and I think - for your confidence, peace of mind, and social sphere - it's also a really positive one.

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list. 

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17) 

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on. 

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married 

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled. 

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year. 

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough. 

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock. 

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives. 

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end. 

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting. 

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening. 

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux. 

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed. 

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be! 

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.

[thez1337]

Happy Star Wars Month!

Happy Star Wars Month! Compiled here is a chronology of what the Kylux fandom has been through so far. This is by no means complete, and is specifically tailored for events in the USA, so it’s being provided as an open source document to share and distribute because each fan’s experience is different. We should all be so proud of our accomplishments, from art to fics to comics to toys and so much more!

I want to thank everybody who helped compile this list; it was truly a group effort. The link is below, though I’ve included the entire list under the cut.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B9nAz3lDbXfBVYjZi3OtpHhXnjrIAyAc63Qly1BJvTo/edit?usp=sharing

2015

Domhnall Gleeson spoils the name of Starkiller Base - July 10, 2015

Domhnall Gleeson, Gwendoline Christie and Adam Driver are interviewed for Star Wars E7 at San Diego Comic Con - July 11, 2015

Snickers comes out with wrappers that have sayings such as "hot mess" and "whiny" - September 22, 2015

The Force Awakens Trailer released - October 19, 2015

First Explicit Kylux Fic posted on AO3 titled "broken wishbones under your bed" by wolfhalls - November 27, 2015

The Force Awakens Red Carpet Premiere - December 14, 2015

Domhnall Gleeson goes on The Late Show with James Corden - December 16, 2015

The Force Awakens - December 18, 2015

General Hux TFA 2015 Collection Action figure released - 2015

2016

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2016

Star Wars Undercover Boss - Starkiller Base – SNL, aka when we meet Matt the Radar Technician - January 17, 2016

First #Huxlive tweet - February 5, 2016

Millicent mentioned by Lucasfilms Creative Executive Pablo Hidalgo in tweets - February 6, 2016

"Friction" by Imagine Dragons becomes the national Kylux Anthem because of a video made by Studio Sagittarius - February 21, 2016

Kylux Bingo Card, 1st fan edition released - February 19, 2016

This Is Madness Tournament where Hux got 40% against Boba Fett's 60% - March 2016

The term "Blue milkshake" is entered in to the fandom vocabulary because of a fic on AO3 with that title by Ilyn - April 23, 2016

Kylux Exchange May 2016 - May 2016

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2016

General Hux is entered in to Urban Dictionary as "A ginger-headed individual with daddy issues set on ruling the entire galaxy with his fan club, alongside his terrifying baby-faced boyfriend who goes by the name of Kylo Ren" - May 31, 2016

National Donut Day - June 1, 2016 

First Kylux Positivity Week - June 8, 2016

My Journey From Marine to Actor, Adam Driver's Ted Talk - June 21, 2016

"I Fucken Hate Kylux" is first uttered on Anon to several Kyluxers - June 2016

Lego Star Wars The Force Awakens game released with an Aerobics Hux clad in yellow who also eats pink ice cream - June 28 2016

The first anti-Kylux post by waluigitheanti on Tumblr - July 5, 2016

Armitage Day, the day Armitage’s first name is revealed through leaks and/or previews - July 9, 2016

Chuck Wendig's Life Debt: Aftermath trilogy comes out with Armitage’s official first name - July 11, 2016

Lucasfilms Creative Executive Pablo Hidalgo mentions that Kylo and Hux have been working together for around the past 5 years - August 6, 2016

Kylux 33 Days of Guro - August 2016

AO3 Ship Stats 2016 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #7 - August 4, 2016

Kylux Big Bang 2016 - September 2016

Pablo Hidalgo tweets that there was no reason why Hux had not seen Kylo’s face before – September 22, 2016

General Hux is given a second entry in to Urban Dictionary as "The act of cumming on your partner's face while you yell 'DEATH TO THE RESISTANCE' (while rolling the R) and pretending your cum is a giant laser beam and your partners face is a star system home to billions of lives who will soon be extinguished. Bonus points if you are choking them and they are crying for totally unrelated reasons." - September 24, 2016

Huxloween 2016 - October 1, 2016

Kylux Holiday Cards Exchange - November 22, 2016

Children Wake Up Series by Hollycomb had, and possible still does have, the most hits, kudos, and comments in the Kylux tag on AO3 - 12/31/2016

General Hux First Order Black Series 6" #13 2016 Action figure - 2016

 2017

Star Wars Kylo Ren and General Hux Cat Mice Toy - Early 2017

Kylux Bingo Card, 2nd fan edition created - January 3rd, 2017

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2017 

Kylux Eggstravaganza - May 1, 2017

"Darth Tantrum And His Evil Space Ginger" is first coined in an AO3 fic titled “The Art of Being Torn Apart” by Cynical Pudding and DailyAl - May 2, 2017

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2017

Vanity Fair publishes "See the Cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi on Four Exclusive Covers," one of which has Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, and General Hux - May 23, 2017

National Donut Day - June 1, 2017 

AO3 Ship Stats 2017 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #37 - August 3, 2017

Adam Driver interviewed on Today - August 20, 2017

Kylux Big Bang 2017 - September 2017

Hux's pleated black robe and ice-blue sofa are mentioned in the Phasma Novel by Delilah S. Dawson - September 1, 2017

Domhnall Gleeson shows up to the premiere of Mother! with a mustache – September 6, 2017

Domhnall Gleeson gives interview to Hollywood XYZ and shows up without mustache - September 17, 2017

Huxloween 2017 - October 1, 2017

The Last Jedi Trailer released - October 9, 2017

Screen Rat Adam Driver Interview - December 6, 2017

The Last Jedi Red Carpet Premiere - December 9, 2017

Secret Santa Interview where Domhnall said he would give Ren a grenade, and Adam said he would give Hux socks every year - December 11, 2017

Adam Driver goes on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and is surprised by the red soles of the shoes they made him wear - December 14, 2017

The Last Jedi - December 15, 2017

The Last Jedi Visual Dictionary released with a picture of Kylo Ren's bedroom - December 15, 2017

Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Domhnall Gleeson "General Hux" Behind the Scenes Official Movie Interview, aka a tastefully disheveled Hux talks with reporter in a casual setting - December 17, 2017

Compliment Battle with the Cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Funny Moments with Daisy Ridley & Domhnall Gleeson - December 19, 2017

General Hux With Mouse Droid TLJ Collection Action figure 2016 - 2017

 2018

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2018

Delilah S. Dawson, author of the Phasma novel, came out as a Kylucc - January 26, 2018

Domhnall goes on the late show with James Corden to talk about Peter Rabbit - February 6, 2018

Domhnall Gleeson of 'The Last Jedi' Pitches General Hux Spin Off Ideas, After Hours, MTV - February 6, 2018

Peter Rabbit comes out, confirming Armitage Hux's eyes as "sea foam green with a hint of battleship grey" - February 9, 2018

Domhnall's brother tells him about Kylux - February 10, 2018

Rian Johnson mentions claims by reports that anybody who likes Hux is actually a Russian Huxbot, in Anthony Wonke’s 90-minute documentary titled “The Director and the Jedi” - March 13 2018

Garry Whitta, artist of TLJ comic jokes about virgin Hux, and later Delilah S. Dawson tweeted about him not taking his gloves off while having sex - March 20, 2018

Star Wars The Last Jedi Outtakes + Bloopers Released with one single sneak peak of Hux - March 28, 2018

Kelly Marie Tran comes out as a Kylucc - March 29, 2018

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2018

Kylux Prompt Bingo - May 22, 2018

National Donut Day - June 1, 20 18

First Kylux Summer Fest - June 29, 2018

Star Wars Episode IX Cast Announced - July 27, 2018

Kylux Big Bang 2018 - September 2018

Domhnall Gleeson interview: on Star Wars and playing Dr. Faraday in his new film, the Little Stranger photographed by Jonathan Dean with lighting that made it look like one could cut their fingers on how sharp Domhnall's cheekbones appear - September 16, 2018 

First post about Kylux Niche Kinks November - September 21, 2018

Kylux Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2018 - September 23 2018

Adam Driver's second time hosting SNL - September 28, 2018

Star War: The Last Jedi Graphic Novel Adaptation - September 25, 2018

Kylux Book club - October 1, 2018

Huxloween 2018 – October 2018

Kylux Holiday Cards Exchange - November 12, 2018

Kylux Titleception 2018 - December 1, 2018

Kylux Content Creator Document created on Google Docs - December 3, 2018

RIP Tumblr - December 17, 2018

Official Announcement of one year time skip between TLJ and TROS - December 22, 2018

 2019

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2019

Kylux Fluff Fest - January 22, 19

Kylux Calendar Project - January 24, 2019

Kylux Romance Week - February 10, 19

Kylux Titleception 2019 - February 15, 2019

Kylux Tarot Card Project - February 23, 2019

General Hux Appreciation Day - March 17, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic announcement – April 2, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker teaser trailer released - April 12, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic First Look at cover - April 13, 2019

#JFDKYLUX on Twitter - May 1, 2019

Kyluxception Kylux Adjacents Month 2019 - May 1, 2019

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2019

Star Wars Instagram states "sending many birthday wishes (and hugs) to General Hux himself, Domhnall Gleeson!" with a saddened Hux looking down - May 12, 2019

Vanity Fair posts "Star Wars: The Knights of Ren Make Their Long Awaited Return" story and KOR photo - May 22, 2019

Vanity Fair posts "Star Wars: Richard E. Grant’s Villainous Character, Revealed" story and a photo of General Hux with General Pryde, whose name and the irony of it was not lost on the fandom - May 22, 2019

National Donut Day - June 1, 2019

Kylux Omegaverse Week - June 9, 2019

Kylux Daddy Fest 2019 - June 10, 2019

Kylux Summer Fest 2019 - July 1, 2019

Star War Instagram posts photo of Domhnall Gleeson posing as General Hux on the platform of Star Killer Base from The Force Awakens with Gwendoline Christie unhelmeted in the background as Captain Phasma - July 7, 2019

AO3 Ship Stats 2019 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #28 – July 24,2019

Kylux Adjacent Calendar/Schedule Planner Project Memorial Book for 2020 - July 31, 2019

Domhnall Gleeson goes on the Late Show With James Corden and talks about singing Happy Birthday as General Hux - August 6, 2019

Automattic buys Tumblr for $3 million - August 12, 2019

Hugo Award to AO3 and all fic writers - August 19, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic spoiler released - August 22, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker D23 Special Look trailer - August 26, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic comes out - August 28, 2019

Kylux Big Bang 2019 - September 1, 2019

Huxloween 2019 - October 1, 2019

AQUARIUS Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker Playing Cards with Hux included - November 20, 2019

Hux Topps trading card from the 2019 Star Wars Masterwork set - November 20, 2019

New Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker Posters with one tiny glimpse of Hux - November 21, 2019

Kylux Holiday Card Exchange - December 2, 2019

Adam Driver, “Dark Star Rising” interview in Rolling Stone Magazine - December 2, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker red carpet premiere - 

The Rise of Skywalker - December 19, 2019

What else is missing? Feel free to add your own!

When the video was released that Kylo walked in to the millennium falcon in TFA.

Domhnall mentions that he's "terribly irish in real life" in a Peter rabbit interview where he's wearing a navy blue button up

Kylux Day - Maybe June 6, 2016?

[riskeith]

ooo! how was playing? what do you think about the event? i’m really enjoying it actually... always nice getting new daily things to do hehe.

yeah i think everyone knows The Cover now. i still can’t believe they did that... not complaining tho... oh really? you’re absolutely right and judging by the way they’re taking the story it seems like those two will have a lot more growth to their relationship. who knows maybe we’ll even get a part where bakugou apologizes or even talks about their past etc. one can only wish. YEAH i’ve seen both the movies and i love them!! they’re super fun and such a nice break from everything that happens in the anime sjskjssk kiribaku in the first one was so gay i.... we get it boys y’all in love fhjsjdjfk (THE SIDEWAYS TODOBAKU SMILE... one of my favorite moments ever) i am all caught up now.. waiting for s5... :(

no clue!! it’s just my theory so it might be wrong. the blue one was cute too so was the pink one.... they’re all cute why do we have to pick just one :( HEY you do know how to draw 😡 pretty amazingly too! but i’d love to see that in your style chongyun is so precious.. <3

omg i gotta hustle hard for AR 35 then i already miss him. i’m at 26 now and god.. it’s getting more and more difficult i can’t imagine how it is at like 45... 😭

oooooh!!! honestly barbara healing is godsent if you don’t get him you should consider it (hopefully you do though!!) IVE SEEN VIDEOS OF OCEANID AND HE LOOKS SO SCARY CLUNA.... no thoughts head empty only boy scouts party. looking at others with amazing parties: ok but do you have boy scouts party?

i mostly have sword users! but like i mentioned i’m starting to fall in love with book users (and even bow users) shskfhdkd so i might consider investing in those some day idk they just shoot of attacks and it’s so sexy. no hands dirty. ningguang seems so op 😭 plus geo is so nice!! like an all around element.

HE’S TALL? he has a short person voice...

i’m making a twitter i wanna see some fluff 😭 wait really? even this fandom is shit? why 😭 i sometimes see yt comments and the thing i’m iffy about is how people talk about spending money on it etc but is there more?

i’ve never heard anyone do that that’s so interesting!!!! do you write it down in the same doc and then delete it or do you write it separately?

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! i’ve had so many ideas come to me before bed and i always think that i’m gonna remember them but i never do it makes me so upset. especially if it’s an idea of how to continue a story i’m stuck with... god it’s the worse. writer things 🤪

“stan loona” aka bane of my existence. i don’t usually tell ppl i used to stan because of that reason sksksj. god that was the worst sheesh. anyway. yelling at ALL of these!!! ofc i know daddy issues slowed!!!!!!!!! it’s like one of the most popular slowed songs we’re all just a sad horny bunch loving sexy vibes huh. i listen to slowed songs a lot when i write actually it sets the mood. it doesn’t even have to be anything racy sometimes it’s just calms you down. do you listen to music while you write? also i don’t listen to any of those you mentioned except troye 😭 i’m sorry 😭 but if you’re have recs i’d love to hear them ofc!!

“after school” time that’s so cute. it reminds me of when you’re younger and you run back home and eat a snack and watch cartoon (i say that as both of us still watch cartoons... yee) speaking of crying; would you consider yourself a crybaby? (such a random question hskshdjdfhhd)

before i leave; let me blow your mind with a little something... https://twitter.com/primo_fates/status/1347780975078506496?s=21

hehe... mwah. ;)

it was good!! i tried to get some ominous masks and weathered arrows, but drop rates are always shit lolll. and i think the event is alright! i don’t love it but yeah as you said it’s fun to have something more to do every day.

ikr omg... it’s such a good cover LMAO. omg a bakugou apology 😩😩. what did you think of deku vs kacchan part 2?? i regularly rewatch clips of it and cry LMAOOO god bakugou.. “why did i become the reason for all might’s end?” heart broken wow. NICE!! yeah i remember everyone freaking out over the kiribaku scenes in the first one and honestly,,,, how else do you explain it LMAO. (AND THAT SIDEWAYS SMILE!!! holy shit i watched the movie like the day after i got into todobaku and that scene obliterated me.... absolutely destroyed!) aw nice! but yeah now it’s just the waiting game i guess lol welcome to the club 🤪

IKR??? i saw the “once you pick one the others are gone” and i was just nooooooooooo whyyyy. you can’t give us all these options then don’t actually give us an option 😭 AHAHA thank u but i always joke that i can only draw well like once every 10 tries so... yeahhh we shall see! i have this thing envisioned in my mind but i am unable to execute it fskhfkdsjfs

yeah omg when i reached 45 i was like “wow i’m gonna have to do the ascension quest soon” but it’s taking me so long to reach ar 46??? yikes how am i meant to get the experience with no quests fkhdsfkjsd

i use barbara a lot in the fire domains and with the pyro regisvine!! it’s kinda funny that i’m bringing a level 40 into a level 70+ fight LOL but yeah she’s good! AND YEAHHH OCEANID LEGIT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES I JUST. as soon as i had an actual team that could beat it i grinded it as much as i could before my world level went up and it became impossible again.... but since mine might go up again soon maybe i should grind some more... and maybe i’ll be able to level up both xingqiu and barbara lol. EXACTLY!! can they pls interact in game somehow omg.. we need a bennett story!! and more razor!!!! and chongyun too!! i forgot he hasn’t actually appeared in game hfsdkjfds. and ofc xingqiu <3

fdfjlsjfs are you gonna go from a no long range team to an only long range team ahahah. and you like geo??? omg no... i hate it bc it’s so like. inert FHKDJFSD. but i guess the shields are really nice!

HE’S 172 CM!!!!! he has a baby face too so it’s pretty wild fhskdjds

ooo wdym how they talk about spending money? i don’t really look at youtube comments tbh lol. and i haven’t really seen people talk about spending money much on twitter? tho some content creators i follow open commissions for money for the gacha fhsdfksj. if you do end up joining genshintwt i hope you have fun!! 

same doc and then i delete! but sometimes if the plan is really long i’ll make a new doc so i can see both at the same time (but recently i’ve just been opening the same doc again so i can see both that way lol). do your dotpoints go into the same doc as your writing one?

LMAOOO yeah i’m always like “hnghhh okay it’s fine.. i will Remember... trust myself” and then i never do and it’s just like welp goodbye to that amazing idea. but also bc it was thought up at such a weird time maybe it isn’t actually that good after all LOL

oh nice!! yeah slowed songs are soooo good. and i usually do listen to music! it’ll depend on what i’m writing bc i like the songs to have a similar vibe, but sometimes it’s too distracting so i put on lofi or something so there are no words ahaha. oh rippp LOL! hmm well badlands by halsey was my klance/voltron album writing soundtrack for a really long time.. i wrote a few fics with that in the background i think! melanie martinez’ k-12 album has a whole free movie to go with it! if you wanna check that out. bastille’s pompeii was really popular but i also really like flaws and of the night from them.. a lot of these are older bc i don’t listen to new stuff fhsdfkjds. and hmm pentatonix (they’re an acapella group!) do a lot of covers so maybe you can find one of a song you like and check them out that way? ahah that’s a lot feel free to not listen to any!! no stress at all lmao

oh fun fact melanie has a idk what to call it character? and song called ‘crybaby’! so very coincidental you asked. but yeah i think i am? LMAOOO like if i’m alone in my room watching something and it’s sad i Will Not hesitate to cry.. like sometimes you just gotta get it out you know? and sometimes maybe it’s a little boy singing a korean cover of colours of the wind but it’s so ethereal you just burst into tears but that’s fine! FHDSKJFHDSFKJS. how about you?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!! i legit. my jaw is dropped. i. oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FHSJFKHSKDJF1!!!! 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is so atmospheric and cosy and warm 😭😭😭 i can go at peace now.. fhskfhdsjf

thank you always!! - c.r. xoxo

[strouja]

Turned 55 - A day in the life

I did this 5 years ago when I hit 50 and figured I’d do this again.  To capture a moment in time and what I did on typical day, but it just happened to be my birthday Sept. 1, 2020

Late night working

I got inspired and decided to improve our security profile on our product on a very minor issue, but it would be nice do.  So after midnight, which made it my birthday I researched on how to only allow Transport Layer Security (TLS) version 1.2 (and not allow earlier versions) to parts of our system used for internal communications.  This is a minor issue as we lock this down for all customer access and this is just for our own “system to system” communication.  So I looked up how to do this for something called Kibana and WebSphere liberty.  I checked in config file changes into something called github for our product and sent a “pull request” to have an expert review it.

So it is now 1:30 am and I’m ready to call it a night.

Can we sleep now

The wife comes up to bed and we agree to NOT let our dog Winston sleep in our bed as he can make it hard for us humans to sleep.  I would have him stay with us but Linh is not in favor.

So he whines outside our door for a good 15 minutes or so.  Now we are ready to sleep.

All of sudden we hear him barking constantly.  He behaves as a guard dog and we are perplexed as there is never anything going on late at night.  This is relentless.  After about 10 or 15 minutes of this I go out to see what the hell is going on.  He is in the next room, on my 16 year old son's bed looking out the window barking at something in the darkness. 

So I put his LED collar on and let him run around the house and chase until his heart’s content.  He stays outside for 1/2 hour or so.  I entice him back in and close the curtains in William's bedrooms so he won't go crazy barking anymore.  So I think.   FYI my son William is passed out in the basement on a new giant bean bag.Now it is probably 2:30 and I'm finally ready to sleep.  But no, we hear Winston barking non-stop again. 

FYI this never happens, normally it is peaceful here at night and the dog does not bark at things past 9 pm or so. It turns out whatever animals he saw before are still out there and he can see them from the windows on the 1st floor.  My wife is fast asleep.  I can't sleep because of this and possibly from my short but pretty hard 10 minute bike workout earlier today and the more than normal amount coffee I had today.  I normally just have  one cup but drank some leftover coffee in the afternoon.I probably fall asleep at 3 am or so.I have a 9 am meeting I have to get up for.

Working for the Man - IBM

Since I work from home I am able to get up right before my 9 am meeting. Then I run a meeting at 9:40 with my boss and my boss’ boss to go over how to allocate our finite internal cloud resources that one team wants to consume all of it.  This is all done by Webex video & audio conferencing (like Zoom).

We have a bunch more meetings.  Then I get a break sometime before noon.

Catching last 20 km of Tour de France Stage 4

When I get a break I put on the TV and through my Roku 3 put on NBC Sports Gold (without ads and European commentary)  to see if today’s Tour de France stage is still on.  I find out the race is still live and it is mountain top finish and there are 20 km left.  So this is the perfect time to watch.  I catch up on work while hearing the race and glimpsing at it.  

Although I’m an avid cyclist, race myself, and lead a fast ride every week (normally 2 times a week but reduced to one because of covid-19 and with a smaller group), I’m not a big fan of pro bike racing because I know all the top names and riders are still doping.  So I know only a fully doped rider has a chance of winning today’s stage, especially because it is mountain top finish. 

Fixing my bike

After my ride on Sunday with my former teammates: Ray Plewacki, Vic Siegfried, and Dave Fuentes, I asked my buddy Ray P. if he can fix some shifting problem of my bike this week.   He texted me earlier in the day and he agreed to come over during his lunch break.   He arrives at 12:30 as I have another meeting going on.  I tell my boss I will have to duck out of the meeting.  He is fine with that.

Ray does his magic and does micro adjusting on my Shimano DuraAce Di2 electronic shifting.  I could not shift into one of the mid gears in the back.  Ray figured it out for me.  So I’m all set for Tuesday Night World Championships.

Bike Ride

I eat my Overnight Oats in the very late morning and later on eat my vegan lentil based meal I made yesterday in the instant pot.   I finish up work, then clean my bike (clean the drive train) and put bike in car.

I drive to bike ride and get FaceTime video call from my Don Cayelli on the ride over to wish me happy birthday.  We agree to have our families go to North Carolina in a few months for a mini-vacation.  We talk about a bunch of things and he asks how old the guys I ride with.  I explain that the average age is about mid 30s, one guy I am older than his parents.  The best and strongest rider by far is 40 years old, a former pro - Jason Schneider.   He would not dope and had to leave the pro ranks as a result, doping was rampant (I claim it still is) but was much more out in the open.  That is the only reason why his pro bike days were cut short.

There were some notable strong riders not here, 2 of the regulars - Alex Batres and Jason Boslaugh.  Them not being here makes it much more manageable for me as the top guys feed off of others and try to outdo each other, in this process this puts the hurt on me.   Many other super strong riders have not been here for anytime this year since we resumed these small rides because of Covid-19. Two notable people in this category are: George Croghan & Ferry Gijzel.

The ride tonight is very hard, 3 loops with hills about 12 miles each loop.  We average 22.5 mph with stopping for lights every loop.  So a pretty hard ride.  I stay with the lead group but make a mistake on 2nd lap and don’t follow a very strong move (that I was told about) and end up doing a few miles solo to catch many 3 people and pull us most of the way to the main group on “Bennett Road” and catch them at the light.

Here is the strava from tonight’s ride

https://www.strava.com/activities/3998711104

This is missing pics of the strongest rider - Jason Schneider

Getting heckled on the ride

On the ride I get comments from the 2nd strongest rider on the ride about joining AARP.  This kid is 27 and I am older than his parents. Spencer Lofgran is this person of interest. 

Close the gap on the ride

On the last lap I was gaped a bit on a flat portion - Lawyers road as I was behind 3 folks that were not continuing the ride and the 4 guys in the front started hammering.  The strongest guy comes back and gives me a massive push that pushes me past all the riders.  This was by far the strongest push I ever received on the bike

Catching up with Mates

In the parking lot after the ride my buddy Vic Siegrfried is there waiting to wish me happy birthday.    Here is a pic from Sunday ride with me, Ray Plewacki (middle) and Vic 

Catching up with former work mates - IT Legend

I drive home and call a good friend of mine from work Anthony Zawacki to catch up with him.  He was our best worker by far but in our last round of layoffs was dismissed.  He is an IT rockstar doing great at his new job.  He asks me a work question and that reminds me to contact a team using our product to help them avert a Kubernetes problem of an expiring certificate and to fix it before it expires.

Working for the man again

I get home and hop back on my new work issued MacBook Pro 16″ laptop to figure out the commands I want the customer to run. The commands are not in our official doc and I eventually find the commands that work.  I test them on my own test system at an IBM lab and give them to support to get to them to the customer.  I no longer have contacts with the on-site team as the main person I worked with left IBM. 

I then write a long slack message to our documentation person to explain why we need these commands in our documentation. I then give sample output of the commands and what we are looking for.

The next day I spend a few hours doing more testing and spend an hour with our doc person to make all the changes to our official doc that I then get out to our customers on this release of our product.

Birthday Cake

My wife bought a 2 cakes, chocolate mousse with raspberries and apricot tart. 

I eat 100% plant based foods (past 8 months or so) but broke that tonight to eat the chocolate mousse

We FaceTime my daughter Sophia at the University of Virginia (UVA), I light candles, and we sing happy birthday with Linh, Sophia (on iPhone), William and our infamous dog - Winston.  Here are some poor photos I took in haste.

Trippy Lights & Wall Art

As I’m heading to bed my son shows me the LED lights we bought him for his bedroom and some very funky psychedelic wall art whose appearance change dramatically as the LED lights change colors.  

[lisaalngindabu-blog]

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[theuniverseisher]

In which Death is a Cat, 04 has hold of him, and 08 comes home Very Drunk.

@fouramour @undertakinggraveshift

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 4:56 AM

> Scoop up the kitty to go show the others and ask around.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 4:56 AM

Oop, there he goes. Death wiggles a little, but eventually settles in if he's held proper. Prrr.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 4:57 AM

> Return from the Night Out. You're more than a little drunk, and you're carrying your heels as you appear in the halls, staggering your way... hell if you know where. Oh. There's a Clover.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 4:58 AM

Oh. There's a Snowman.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 4:58 AM

He is. You live with Nepeta, you would die if you didn't know how to hold cats by now.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 4:58 AM

Walk the other way, Clover. Walk the other way.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 4:58 AM

"Snowy?"

Percy (06/💀)Today at 4:59 AM

Death shoves his head under Clover's arm. Wedges his face right under there. No, no, can't see you, no. I'm vanished.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 4:59 AM

"Hi kitty-kitty, whatcha doin' there." Smile down at the cat, blissfully unaware.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 4:59 AM

"Oh.  Hello, Clelix."  Shit.  No, that's wrong.  You should have stopped five shots of gin ago.  You rub your face and you look at him proper. "How are-- cat."

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:00 AM

"That's a new one."

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:00 AM

Points. "So is that."

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:00 AM

"I found it."

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:00 AM

Mrrrrrrrrr.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:00 AM

Pet the cat placatingly.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:01 AM

You half strut, half stumble your way closer, until you kneel down in front of him.  You look, in a word?  Awestruck.  Like a little girl presented with a new kitty cat. "Ohh no... May I...?” You're already petting him.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:02 AM

It's moments like this which make you comfortable with Snowman. She's no mom, no human, but she is your friend at times.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:03 AM

Gently, gently, pet the kitty.  "Oh no, so soft..."

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:03 AM

Oh jeez, he's being pet. By her. What if she found out? Where mobsters above throwing cats into a bag, into a river? Claws lightly dig into Clover's arm. But frick if that don't feel good.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:03 AM

"Ow-ow, hell, I think you're aggravatin' it." "You gotta- you gotta let them sniff you first and all, remember?"

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:05 AM

"Hmm~?" A blink.  "Oh.  Oh!" Yes, of course.  Don't be daft, Snow.  You lean yourself over until you're sat side-saddle on the floor, peering around Clover for the kitty's hidden face, offering your hand to sniff. "<Sssh, little one.  It's alright, sweet one, hello...!>"  In Dersite.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:06 AM

Yeah you're just......gonna...sit right down on the floor yourself, you guess. It's proper with a Queen or something. You try to gently detach kitty from your arm. Your narrator doesn't know if you'd know that language.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:08 AM

Your narrator supposes you might have picked up a bit, but it's a very, very hard language for humans to imitate, by virtue of anatomy.  Like the aarakocra with the bird mimicry, thhat shit.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:09 AM

"I wonder if <bad imitation of what she just said> is closer to cat language than English."

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:09 AM

Death's face is a little stretched from being pressed under Clover's arm, right up until he's adjusted thanks to Clover. He gives a head shake, ears flicking before staring warily at Snowman. ....She doesn't know. Well, of course she wouldn't know, you're just a regular black and white cat. Sure the scarred lips are still there, but they're not really easy to see unless you're focusing. The wide pupil stare keeps up for a long time as Death weighs in mentally on the situation... before lightly leaning in to sniff as a cat may do. That's quite the perfume you have there- and alcohol.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:13 AM

Oh no.  Tickly whisker sniffs.  You giggle, and then Clover's imitation has you laughing proper. "Ha! Your enunciation is... terrible.  But you know, phonetically, they are probably similar.  Cats, and Dersite.” As gracefully as one can manage, you lay yourself out on the floor, curled partially around Clover so you may peer at that tiny face stuck out from under his arm.  So cute.  You keep your hand steady, despite the gin, so that he can sniff at his leisure.  "<Pretty kitty.  Little mixed carapace baby.  A proper Oreo.>"  Oreo is said in English, and therefore is Quite strange amidst the chirps and chitters.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:15 AM

You giggle, and you almost wish you had your camera with you- but no, no, Snowman would beyond kill you. If she remembered. You tilt your head and grin at her. "What are you sayin'?"

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:17 AM

There is no part of that in which Death understands. Well. Save for the oreo part, but without context clues, he's a little confused. ...Is that his name now? Is he being named? If this what's going on? Death settles, claws no longer pricking skin.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:20 AM

You lean your head against the crook of your arm and you smile lazily up at Clover.  "Called him an Oreo.  And a little baby."  You tap your chest lightly, as though that's supposed to indicate the entire concept of carapacian infants of mixed shell ancestry.  "Baby." Your eyes and smile focus back on the cat.  "Baby. Oreo.  May I pet you now?"  You crook your finger and offer it slow to his nose, looking for permission to touch.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:22 AM

"Oreo, you think. I like it. Can we keep him?" You've started purring yourself, actually. You couldn't stop smiling if you tried.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:25 AM

If Death could arch a brow, it'd be arched. If it was anyone but Snowman... or Doc... Elliott would have found this cute, now he just found it... hmm... he couldn't really put a finger on how he felt. Or rather, paw. Note to self, Snow enjoyed cats and was softer when drunk. He sighed, mentally, and leaned his head in to bump it lightly against her finger.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:27 AM

You trill quietly, absolutely pleased.  You very lightly rub your finger along the bridge of his nose, and then over his fuzzy little cheeks.  You don't even realize you're purring, or how loudly you are, only that you adore this animal. "Yes... I've always wanted a cat.  Sweet Oreo boy.  We've got to give you cream, little wanderer..."

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:32 AM

"I think we've got enough in the fridge, maybe a dish somewhere. Do cats care if other cats have eaten out of a dish?" Your voice has gotten softer, gentler- you don't want to disturb the moment much.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:37 AM

Oh. Hm. Being pet and fed... well, he supposed this was a form of pampering- terrifying, but he could make do. Death couldn't give props for the name, but he'll accept it. Not that he had a choice. Softly, Death began to purr.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:40 AM

Ohh, your heart just blooms.  You continue to pet his little cheeks, before you slip you slip your hands beneath Clover's arms to try and Scoop. "We've got little saucers, I'm sure..."

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:40 AM

...Scoop the cat or scoop the entire you.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:40 AM

Double scoop.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:40 AM

Because you're cool with the latter.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:41 AM

You're an ice cream Harry

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:41 AM

Scoop The Kitty, Unfortunately.  You're still laying on the floor and you just, you want that cat.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:41 AM

Noooo your cat.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:44 AM

Death feels this is definitely one of the weirder situations in his life. Prrrp is the noise he gives you this.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:45 AM

You've got the kitty! You pull him to cuddle to your chest, tucked there in the crook of your arm laid out along the floor.  A small kiss to the top of his head while you languidly pet him.  "Sweet boy.  Where did you come from..."

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:47 AM

If you don't have cat you're gonna lay on Snowman herself instead to make up for the loss of soft. Listen. Everything's just and right when alcohol is involved. and her tum is Appreciated.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 5:48 AM

(You wince.  Ow.  Your gut hole.  But then you're right back to kitty cuddle town.)

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 5:49 AM

Pause, blink for a minute, and put your hand over the Gut Hole to see if you canope, no, you have gone through like 48 glamours in one night, try healing later. Time for chill.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 5:55 AM

Sniff. Sniff Sniff- oof is that what blood smells like? Still too tangy for Death. Wait. There was a finger missing too. My, this was Pembrokes doing? With how gentle his moirail is, Death so easily forgets what that manis capable of. His nose continues twitching a moment longer before looking up to Snow. How is he supposed to answer that? Or, no of course no one expected him to answer that cats don't talk. He made a soft mrrrp noise because he knows it's cute and that's about all he can do in this situation Death supposes, be a cute cat.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 6:00 AM

That's all you need, really.  After the shit fucking handful of days you and yours have had, sometimes all you need is a good, soft cuddle puddle, complete with cute kitty.  You would never cough to it sober, and you most certainly aren't going to remember most of this when you wake up. But until such a time that you might abscond to your bedroom, effecting stealing the cat for the night, you content yourself to lay on the floor, ignore your aches, and chill with Clover and Oreo.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 6:04 AM

You eventually wander off to get milk for Oreo and do not come back, stolen back to the hotel by your puppy.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 6:05 AM

You wonder where he's wandered off to after a while, before you go forth to get the milk your own self, bringing it, a small tin of tuna, and Oreo to your bedroom for the night.  Door shut so none of the numbers or the Dog can get any funny ideas.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 6:06 AM

a distant woof is heard around the world

Percy (06/💀)Today at 6:08 AM

The horrifying implications of what tomorrow might bring doesn't come to mind. Death is delighted he isn't made to eat cat foot and scarfs the simple delights down before calling it a night. A tired ball of black and white comfortably curled up on what might be the most wonderful bed he's been blessed to sleep on. He idly hopes Pembroke isn't too worried tonight over his disappearance before snoozing.

[ominousflare]

It’s Been A While

So I haven’t been using tumblr for a long time (or used it that much to begin with), but since I’ve found myself some fellow Spider-Man fans here converse with, I feel I might as well become more active, or whatever.

Anyway, I might post my future Superior Spider-Man review here in the future once I get my lazy ass to finish it. I know, I know, it’s a five year old story. I’m incredibly late. Anyway, it’s also an incredibly long review, so I don’t know whether if I should post it here or just the link of it.

For now, I guess I’ll just post a past review of mine. Here’s a review of

ASM #698-700: Dying Wish

Well, it's finally happened. Peter Parker is dead. The bad guy wins. Happy 50th anniversary, Spider-fans! Hope you enjoyed watching your favorite hero kick the bucket on his special day! 

I'll be honest with you. I've been preparing for the worst. I was really uncomfortable with the idea of this arc just from reading about its details, that Doc Ock was going to swap brains with Spidey and assume his mantle. It sounded very gimmicky and contrived. Ever since "One More Day" happened, the Amazing Spider-Man comic seemed less like a character study of Peter Parker, with each story becoming a product the writers pitched as the next big thing to draw the readers of tomorrow and keep the book afloat for the next 10-20 years. Even Straczynski's run spent more time exploring the kind of person Peter was as a husband, adding new layers and depths to the hero, instead of turning each book into the blockbuster of the month. That being said... it's a good story. Not a great one, but certainly not the horrible nightmare some of us had hyperbolically generalized in a fit of panic. Somewhat disappointing, but not worth writing death threats about. And honestly, after reading an insightful article written by Cody Wilson of the ever-reliable Spiderfan.org, I realized that we were partially to blame for this "new direction" anyway. It's partly on us, the death of Spider-Man. We can gripe and complain about the writers, editors and Marvel's entire company all day long, but when it comes down to it, we have to face the facts: Spider-Man is a product, and business was booming in spite of all the supposedly "terrible" creative decisions they've made. And like any product, we the customers are a key source of how the business will be run. Over the years prior to ASM #700, Marvel had been selling us different ideas by introducing story elements that would later be used again in "Dying Wish," and our feedback to those elements in earlier stories was what ultimately led to the "Superior Spider-Man," the book that would replace "The Amazing Spider-Man" title for better or worse - at least for a year and 33 issues. Through this review, I hope to address these "elements" and analyze which of them worked for me and which merely raised my anxiety levels.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER

This wasn't the first time a supervillain stole Peter Parker's identity. Back in ASM #602, Chameleon seemingly "killed" Peter in an acid pool and subsequently went about the rest of the day being him; even interacting with Peter's acquaintances and friends. Having the eccentric behavior of improving the lives of whomever he had disguised as, Chameleon did a few selfish things, including punching Mary-Jane's stalker (with the butt of a gun), calling Flash Thompson "Puny Flash" the way he called Peter years ago, and moving Harry's homeless butt into Peter's home. These "improvements" Chameleon made in Peter's life were well-received by readers, myself included, thereby providing Marvel the first piece of the puzzle they needed. I have to admit, Peter calling the ex-bully "Puny Flash" was a guilty pleasure on its own, giving payback to the football star after so long. On the other hand, he's a crippled war hero, so it was still a scummy thing to say. And while it could be fun to see someone carry out these naughty deeds in Peter's favor - doing and saying things some of us wish Peter would just have the guts to do - it could also lead to some really creepy scenes. Let's not forget, these were bad people taking over Peter's life, Octavius the sociopathic egomaniac included. In ASM #602, Chameleon made out with Peter's roommate, who wasn't aware who she was really kissing under that mask; this lack of consent was tantamount to an act of rape.

And then in #700, Otto (in Peter's body) was clearly thinking of having sex with MJ, a woman who would be unaware of the real person she's really sleeping with. This would eventually lead to some even more sleazy storyline in the "Superior Spider-Man," which I'll touch on in the future. Playing devil's advocate for a bit, one could argue that crippling a woman and stripping her naked to show how evil a villain is was in poor taste too, yet Killing Joke was held by millions as some gold standard of storytelling. What Dan Slott wrote seemed trivial by comparison.

KILL HIM TWICE, SHAME ON YOU

There's a reason why "Death of Spider-Man" worked in the Ultimate universe: Peter Parker died being known to his world as a hero, giving us a fitting finality. In the 616 universe, on the other hand? He died leaving a villain perving on his ex-girlfriend! What kind of finality was that?! What a way to shit all over our favorite hero! Of all the feedback Marvel took into consideration, this had to be the dumbest. It's like simple math to them: "People loved Ultimate Death of Spider-Man, therefore they must be okay with killing off 616 Peter Parker and replacing him with a murdering sociopath on his 50th birthday." Unfortunately, the best storytelling is anything but simple math. And unlike USM, the moments right before Peter's death here felt rushed. Ultimate Spider-Man had the benefit of "Ultimate Fallout", a mini series dedicated to addressing how everyone reacted to the death of such a great hero. Amazing Spider-Man didn't have that advantage and had to slap together several "closures" to end the book, including MJ finally confessing to Otto-Peter her love for him, Jonah Jameson finally approving of Spidey as a legit hero, and Peter experiencing a dream sequence where everyone he cared about who died came back to greet and thank him - all within a single issue. These "closures" should have been, in my opinion, focused on in an entirely separate issue of their own, not crammed together with the already crowded plot of #700. It ended up reading like a last minute homework assignment written hastily to beat the deadline.

There's also another thing that bothered me about Peter's final moments. Using the last remnant of his energy in Octavius' dying body, Peter was somehow able to channel the memories in his own body and forced Otto to experience all the guilt and pain he ever felt being Spider-Man. Afterwards, he almost seemed content to pass on the mantle to Doc Ock. Why was he so content with letting this potential killer take over his role as Spidey, and why would his dying wish be for Otto to take care of MJ and his loved ones? He's a selfish and self-centered jerk who only ever cared about himself! Why would he trust him?! No matter how sympathetic Otto came across, and no matter how desperate Peter was, it just didn't make sense. I wish there would have been at least a last desperate struggle on Peter's part to resist letting this psycho do whatever he wanted with his powers, not quietly accept his takeover. In fact, it would have made more sense if Peter had gone to the Avengers or the Fantastic Four instead, where he could have made it his last request to have them stop Doc Ock. Not to mention, they would have bought this "mind-swap" story a lot more than Carlie - who shot him multiple times when he tried to tell her the truth - did.

DRACO IN LEATHER PANTS

The third feedback Marvel collected was the sympathetic side of Octavius. There were a number of stories detailing this, depicting him as a frail young boy in the past who had aspired to be scientist (just like Peter Parker). And there's grounds for such sympathy too, for Otto never received the proper grooming Peter had, thereby being an ideal mirror of Spidey (much like the Joker and Batman). This ambiguous side of Octavius' morality was well-received, along with, of course, Spider-Man 2, where he was made into an even more sympathetic antagonist than his comic counterpart. Yet, the decision to place a murderer behind the mask of the webbed hero for a long period of time is strange and definitely inappropriate. Octavius is tied to at least three deaths, two of which were intentional: Bradley Miles in "Peter Parker: Spider-Man" Vol. 2 #40, James Warden in "Spider-Man/Doctor Octopus: Negative Exposure" #4, and the accidental death of George Stacy in ASM #90. Would that be appropriate for the kids reading this? Spidey's been a huge recognizable icon all over the world, and now kids are going to follow in the footsteps of this scum who thinks it's okay to break the other criminals' jaws or just straight up kill them (the latter of which we'll see in "Superior" later on)? With the recent "racial/sexual diversity" movement a more political Marvel was trying to gun for, I'm surprised they would risk such an idea in our SJW climate, not to mention the aforementioned sexual aggression towards MJ.

Again, there is potential for a good story here... if it's a tale of redemption, which would only work if Octavius turns himself in. Unfortunately, a move like that could possibly end the Spider-Man books for good (unless Peter returns), which is the exact opposite of why Marvel shook things up with this brain-swap in the first place (to keep the sales of Spider-Man books from dying). And even if the books continue with Otto being some kind of anti-hero vigilante hunted by the law, there's no way Spider-Man fans (and probably many parents) could approve of a murderer remaining as the new face of the inspiring hero for long. I think Marvel knew that. Marvel's not stupid. And we knew that Marvel's not stupid, so I'm sure lots of people have speculated Peter Parker's return long before he did. What I don't know is why Marvel even bothered to hide it. It's kinda an obvious eventuality. But when all is said and done, I admit that the idea of a Spider-Man who's not so morally clean does intrigue me, somewhat. Over the years, Spidey cutting loose and unleashing all the strength and powers in him can be cathartic. While it was his integrity that made him an amazing character we could look up to, there was also an underlying pleasure in seeing him punish those who deserve it; in seeing him get a little dirty to get things done. So to have "SpOck" (god that's an awful nickname) stay for a while before Peter eventually come back? I'm actually okay with that. I wouldn't mind seeing a "dark and gritty" chapter for Spider-Man. However, a key reason I would like this approach lies in a factor that applies to me: I haven't read the other darker Spider-Man spin-offs, which brings us to our final feedback and problem.

DARKNESS WITHOUT LIGHT BREEDS APATHY

There were two other Spider-Man spin-offs around the time this story arc was released. "Scarlet Spider" (Vol. 2) and Venom (Vol. 2), both of which received very favorable reviews (Venom, in particular), and were darker takes on the Spider-Man theme of power and responsibility (Scarlet Spider, in particular, since he's literally a clone of Peter Parker). If I want a darker story, I would read either of those. The only reason I didn't was because I only have enough time for Spidey alone. No time for the myriad amount of spin-offs out there. And now a third dark Spider-story is introduced, filled with murders and bloodshed - and believe me, there will be blood. I've mentioned before that I love dark stories. I live for them. They can touch on our basest emotions and provide us a form of catharsis the lighter and warmer tales couldn't. But this is another case of businessmen blindly relying on the numbers without considering the context. Too much darkness can ultimately lead to indifference in your audience, not to mention the fact that the "lighter" stories have their place in storytelling too, offering something dark stories couldn't either: hope, and moral inspiration.

Batman is an amazing character. His stories (often through his rogues' gallery) delve into a complex analysis of the human mind; of our darkest and most frightening emotions and personalities. But not everyone likes reading Batman, and even Batman fans probably don't want every superhero to be like Batman either! That would just dilute his unique quality. Besides, would you want all your heroes to be brooding or morally complex? Did you enjoy the dark and morose Superman in Batman v. Superman or even Man of Steel? Sometimes, we just want heroes to be heroes! Not straight up kill criminals without offering redemption like The Punisher and Wolverine! We already have those in the Marvel universe! Sigh. I'm merely playing devil's advocate here. As I've mentioned, 'Spotto Octavius' wasn't going to stay for the long-term, so it's fine. A temporary period of dark Spider-Man stories is fine. For me. But I do have to put my foot down and lay out what a darker Spider-Man means for the world, and why both writers and business executors alike must be careful not to push the scale too far. Balance. There must always be balance in all things. Take it from Thanos. 

WAS THIS STORY ANY GOOD?

I talked a lot about the aspects that came to piece together this Frankenstein monster. But was the story entertaining in its own right? The short answer is yes, especially #698. That first part of the story was truly like Doc Ock said, a magic trick. It began with an ordinary day in the life of Spidey. Nothing seemed unusual. But by the end of it, I was left slack-jawed and so utterly impressed by Slott that I had to read the ending twice to see if I had misread something. The second and third issues went a step further. Essentially, the entire story arc could be summed up with "Peter trying to get back into his own body." But after we knew Peter was running out of time, the pacing of the story started to pick up really, really quickly. The readers would be as concerned as Peter, and at that time, nobody knew what was really going to happen because there was an announcement around that time that "The Amazing Spider-Man" book would come to an end. It's a real page-turning thriller in spite of its simple premise. Most gut-wrenching of all, they made Peter plead for his life. On his birthday.

Talk about a punch to the gut. Brings back tearful memories ("I don't want to go, Mr. Octavius"). Humberto Ramos' art really didn't help things. His depiction of Peter trapped in a dying body was a horrifying sight to endure for me. You could see all the horrid details; his skin decaying, his eye-socket popping out, and blood spilling out everywhere. I could only imagine how painful Peter's final moments were. No wonder many fans were outraged. This wasn't an honorable death in the arms of his loved ones like Ultimate Spider-Man; it was pure torture. Does Dan Slott actually hate Peter Parker? Still, I have to give credit where it's due. It's an emotional story (albeit for the wrong reasons at times), and it's a really ballsy one too where the bad guy actually won. And it wasn't just any bad guy either - it was one of Spidey's biggest bads of all. Since Norman Osborn had already became an Avenger villain, it made sense for the next biggest Spider-Man villain in line, Doc Ock, to be the one who would finally do him in. Now onto the other question: do I like the overall story? No. I don't hate it as much as certain stories in the past (marriage and The Devil come to mind), but on principle, I can't accept this story. I know why they made this story. It's almost the same thing as One More Day. I'm guessing the sales for ASM must have been dropping. And even if it wasn't, even if I'm completely wrong about the comparisons to OMD, I still don't like how shoddily his death was treated. I don't mind a Spider-Man death - I LOVED "Death of Ultimate Spider-Man." It respected and really reminded us why Spidey was the hero we loved. This story felt like just another rushed effort by Dan Slott to clean up the book and move onto the thing he seemingly loved more, Spotto Octavius "The Superior Spider-Man," a book that he's written far better than his entire run in ASM. Are we sure Dan is a Spider-Man fan? Or did he just like Otto?

To clarify, I don't begrudge Dan. It's more of the corporate decisions of Marvel executives that I'm so infuriated about. It's always the executives at one point or another whenever we are talking about a creatively-skewed story. And while his work might have been sloppy throughout most of his run, I was reminded recently that it might be due to Marvel pushing him with agendas and deadlines, so again, not his fault. What's done is done. And I've already began reading "Superior", even as I'm writing this. It's not bad, and it's everything I expected: an extremist Spidey willing to cross the line to get things done. I like it, just not how we got there. I mean, give me a break, Peter was my hero. Is it too much that I wanted a death that wasn't as insulting? At the least, I wish that "dream sequence" I mentioned was more than just a dream, and everyone Peter cared about actually came to pat him on the back for doing a good job, that it was time for him to rest. The fact that it was only a dream felt like the final slap to his face. "Good job, hero. Now get the f*** out of here."

Final Rating: Two webs out of five

I was going to give this story three webs initially. I really did. But looking back now at how Peter's death was treated, I feel more infuriated than satisfied, and also annoyed that it was just another corporate decision that never stuck, since he would come back later anyway. It cheapened the already cheapened idea of the comic book death. Now, even one of the most iconic heroes of all time suffered from the tired cliche of meaningless death.

Next time, I shall finally witness the birth of this supposedly "Superior Spider-Man" and see if Otto could truly surpass our lovable Pete as the hero we deserve:

[bobbykennedy]

Hey there; I love your blog; just wanted to ask you if you'd be able to make a list of some of the best Kennedy documentaries, tv series, or films you'd suggest for essential Kennedy watching. Thank you xx

Hello hello! Thank you so much. I’d be glad to! I’ll try to link them (or at least their trailers) where possible, as a lot of them are on YouTube. 

Documentaries:

A Ripple of Hope (2008) - This documentary (along with RFK in the Land of Apartheid (2009)) provides a view of Bobby’s effect on the lives he touched with his compassion, understanding, empathy, and desire for change. This documentary in particular uses his speech announcing MLK’s death as the centerpiece for historians and people who were in the crowd that night to talk about Bobby’s impact on America. I also love that it includes interviews with people who worked on his campaign and Civil Rights legends like John Lewis. It’s a really beautiful film that I think shows perfectly why Bobby resonated then, and continues to today, so strongly with people.

Crisis (1963) - Crisis is one of Robert Drew’s landmark Kennedy documentaries. This doc follows Jack and Bobby through the process of integrating the University of Alabama. There’s some great footage of them including the incredible footage of Bobby convincing Jack to make his (what would go on to be) famous Civil Rights Address, along with the hilarious moment of Jack giving Bobby a hard time in the Oval Office. I wish we had more footage of moments like that. There are some truly, truly amazing moments caught on film here and I highly recommend it. It’s a snapshot of race relations in America in 1963 and how Bobby’s pushing for legislation and action caused friction with Jack’s other advisers’ established agenda. 

Ethel (2012) - Whenever I’m asked for Bobby documentary recs, this is always the first one I mention. This film was produced and directed by Bobby and Ethel’s youngest daughter, Rory. It features interviews with Bobby and Ethel’s surviving children as well as Ethel herself (which is amazing because she does NOT do interviews, especially about Bobby, ever.) It covers everything from Ethel and Bobby’s childhoods through Bobby’s death and Ethel’s life for the last 50 years since. Ethel is packed full of great firsthand stories from Ethel and the kids and it paints a beautiful picture of not only Bobby and Ethel’s relationship, but also them as individuals. 

The Kennedy Assassination: 24 Hours After (2009) - There are a million assassination documentaries out there, but this is the one I always go back to. This gives a minute by minute, hour by hour account of what happened that day, not only in Dallas, but also back in Washington. This program focuses heavily on the Bobby/LBJ dynamic and gives a full picture of who was doing what that day and when. It features interviews with a variety of historians and Kennedy experts and it is incredibly well done. 

The Kennedys: An American Experience (1992) - This is quite possibly the most comprehensive program about the family that I’ve seen. It’s long and incredibly detailed. Everything from Joe and Rose’s upbringings in turn of the century Boston to Ted’s presidential run in the 1980s is covered. It. Is. A. Lot. If you’re just getting into the Kennedys, or are looking to learn more about them, go for this. It has it all. PBS has done individual An American Experience specials about Jack and Bobby that are really well done as well. PBS and History Channel docs are usually the best and most accurate, in my opinion. 

The Lost Kennedy Home Movies (2011) - If you want to see the Kennedy family outside the political arena, this is what you need to watch. There’s so, so much amazing content in this program, I don’t know where to begin. It has footage of them in the 40s right through to the early 60s, and there is so much to see. You see young versions of Jack and Bobby with their siblings Joe Jr., Kick and the others. The Kennedys were ridiculously funny, and the footage of Jack and Bobby dancing on the beach proves it.

Dramas:

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy (1981) - Jaclyn Smith plays Jackie in this, and it is incredibly sugarcoated, but it’s fun to watch. This covers Jackie’s life from girlhood to Dallas. They really bent the story around to make it something neater and cleaner than it was. This one is good if you want a harmless version of events, and I think Jaclyn does a beautiful job with the role. Side note: my mother has been a huge Jackie fan her entire life and this is her favorite Jackie portrayal. 

JFK: Reckless Youth (1993) - Patrick Dempsey plays a young Jack Kennedy brilliantly in this. They cover Jack’s years at Choate through his election to Congress. This program also has my favorite portrayal of Jack and Kick’s relationship, which is something I really, really wish there were more dramatizations of. 

The Kennedys (2011) - This is 100% my personal favorite Kennedy drama. They do take some creative liberties, and over-dramatize some of the story, (which they caught A LOT of flack for, and rightfully so) but the portrayals are incredible. Barry Pepper’s Bobby Kennedy is my favorite dramatization of him, no question. By the end, you forget that it isn’t actually Bobby you’re watching. Greg Kinnear is a pretty good Jack as well, and I love Katie Holmes – I think she’s a solid Jackie. This program focuses heavily on the White House years; there are flashbacks of Jack, Joe Jr., and Rosemary in the 30s & 40s as well. 

The Kennedys of Massachusetts (1990) - If you’re looking for dramas about Joe and Rose, this is absolutely the place to start. This covers everything from their courtship days in the early 1900s through Jack’s inauguration. I really love the casting for the most part in this program. The family members featured are: Rose, Joe Sr., Joe Jr., Jack, Kick, and Honey Fitz. 

Thirteen Days (2000) - I! Love! This! Film! Everything about it: the writing, the portrayals, the cinematography, I love it all.It focuses exclusively on the Cuban Missile Crisis, and really captures the high stakes that are sometimes downplayed in other dramas. It’s based heavily on The Kennedy Tapes: Inside the White House during the Cuban Missile Crisis and government documents that were released after Jack and Bobby’s deaths. Steven Culp is fantastic as Bobby, Bruce Greenwood is amazing as Jack, and it takes some dramatic liberties in making Kevin Costner’s Kenny O’Donnell the protagonist, but he’s wonderful and it works. 

I also want to mention The Missiles of October (1974) here which is another Cuban Missile Crisis film and features possibly the most accurate Jack portrayal ever by William Devane. (seriously, he sounds just like him, it’s almost creepy). Martin Sheen plays Bobby in it and I really enjoy his take on RFK. This program is based on Bobby’s memoir, Thirteen Days, but doesn’t include all the government document details that the Thirteen Days film does, as they were not yet released in the 1970s.

You can check out my tags page to see posts about each of these programs, as well as many others. 💕

[averybritishsomething]

Long moving update

Hi! I know I promised this, and obviously I’ve been online and caught up, but here is my fun moving story. And all my shit is in my new condo. as far as I know most of it survived in one piece. So if you don’t know me, and wanted a tldr there it is! Read more cause this got long as hell

SO! Monday night I stayed up till 2 am (tuesday morning I guess) finishing packing most of the shit. Mom was coming on Tuesday (and before I continue, I just need to say that she was actually massively helpful, and not judgmental about shit, and honestly, best help I've gotten from here in a LOOOONG ass time) and I wanted to look like I was totally ready. Because some of my college moves were a complete shit show, and mom witnessed all of those. I crashed around 2.30-3 ish, planning to sleep till 9.45. Nope. the doughnuts my relator sent over (which are stans doughnuts and delicious) arrived at 9.15 instead of 11. So I broke speed records for getting dressed in something and running out to get those. Mom made it about 11.30 and we were working on the last min shit (getting all the trash out, and loading everything in my fridge/freezer into coolers because who needs to buy all new condiments). We had finished packing all the shit by a bit after 1, and had moved onto sweeping where we could (around the boxes lol) and double checking cabinets. My movers said it would only take an hour to move all of my packed shit into their truck, drive it to the new place, and get it up in the elevator. They said they would be there between 1 and 2. so. I had elevator reservations at this building for 1-5. Any time I go over, I have to pay a fee. $50 a half hour. I told the movers this in the initial email. They never gave me a phone number, everything had been over email. At 1.30 I started to get nervous. at 2 I started to call every number I could find attached to them online. Finally I got a call back at 2.15. Their previous job had run over, and I was next. They would get to my place by 3.30. Welp. nothing I can do. I reiterated the time for the elevator. And for those unfamiliar with Chicago traffic, let me tell you, rush hour starts at about 4, and lasts until 8 ish. The drive between the two places is about 15 min in a speeding uber with no traffic, or 45 min stuck in all the traffic. Or something between. They brought an extra guy they didn’t charge me for, and got all my shit out in like 20 min. Which is just fucking impressive, because I had a daybed, mattress, 3 shelves with cubes in them, a desk, chair, tv, 4 rugs, 9 under bed bins, and about 40 moving boxes, and lived in a second story walk up. 

So then mom and I ran over to the new place. Plan was, I run in, get the movers, do whatever I needed to do with security, got moms parking pass for later, while mom went back to the apartment to get the things we didn’t want the movers to move (there were like 4 smallish boxes, 2 backpacks, and the contents of the freezer that needed to be tossed into grocery bags. the boxes and backpacks were fragile and irreplaceable things, and the backpacks were legal docs, a few decent and sentimental pieces of jewelry, and my laptop), then, once mom was headed over, i’d head down, meet her in the circle drive out front, and we’d figure out parking. 

lol

So, I run in, run back to the loading bay, and can’t find a security guard. Then the movers call and they can’t figure out how to get to the back of the building. So I go out back to try to give them directions. They finally show up (traffic was awful), and one guy goes, ‘show me where to go’. So he follows me. Still no guard by the loading bay, so I head to management office. A security guard is going in, so I go to follow him and he yells at me. OOOK. I decide to go to the front desk next. They tell me to go to management and point out I only have about 45 min (I FUCKING KNOW). I say I can’t get into the management office right now, this is time sensitive, where is the security guard by the back door. She radios someone and says they’re coming around the corner. Guard who yelled at me earlier comes around the corner. I ask him. He says hes looking for someone and not to bother him. oooook. I go back to the front desk. she now says they don’t have the move in info up there, can’t prove that i am who i say i am, and that I need to move. and to head back to management. Management is a 4 min leisurely stroll from the desk btw. So i’m heading back, when a different security guard rounds the corner, and asks if im the mover. well she asks the mover if we’re moving in, and i’m like ‘nope, i am, he’s carrying the shit, i’m paying’. and she starts in on complaining about how we’ve kept her waiting all day and she wants to go home. I apologize (but like also, I paid her to be there. not to sound entitled, but she was paid to do nothing but sit in an air conditioned office waiting for me to show up, and then to watch movers walk by. I’m sorry, but good grief, i also did not want to be running late). So then we try to take the elevators. the door to the freight elevator is locked for no fucking reason. my fob won’t work. she doesn't have a key. So i run back to the front desk, and she radios for mr friendly security guard to come back. He takes his sweeet ass time walking there, and we spend 5 min staring at the glass doors separating me from the service elevators. my mover is like ‘ i hope we’re refunded for this 15 min’ and i’m like ‘bitch i wish you’d showed up on time’ internally but just nod. SO then she’s like ‘you know you just have 15 min left. ‘ and i’m like ‘yes i am aware’. and she’s like ‘i have to tell management if you run over’ and i’m like ‘yes i know this too’. so it’s unlocked, I escort the movers to my room, unlock the door, and then fucking sprint back to management office (which I still haven’t made it into today) so I can pick up my parking pass for mom, before management office closes at 5. so the movers get my shit up in like 45 min, and then move it to the correct rooms. I pay them and tip them cause apparently you’re supposed to. and then I lay down and try to stop sweating for 5 seconds.

Then mom calls. She’s on her way, and got everything but one box in her car. So I head down to the lobby (meet a neighbor I share a wall with, he seems super nice, teaches piano, was giving a lesson while i was moving in, I couldn’t hear anything. i love these thick walls) and hop in moms car, and we go to figure out the garage. We finally figure out how to get in (this took a few min, the garage system is currently complicated as they’re in the middle of renovating) get down and discover that yes we have in and out privileges with this pass, but it’s still valet. all parking I can get for guests is valet. which is awkward but ok. We meet William, who is SUPER friendly, nicely explains how the garage works, lets us leave the car by the valet stand while we unload some things, lets me use the luggage cart, just is all around awesome. So we get the shit upstairs, unload the cold shit, and run back downstairs to drive to fucking ikea. We get there, figure out the closet thing I want is too big for my closet (sigh) and order the rest of the shit to be delivered here on the 11th. So that’s when I’ll have furniture again lol.  

we go home and pass out. it’s 11, i’ve been running all day, this is deserved. 

the next day we start unpacking. I'm dealing with my clothes, mom is doing the kitchen. I hear some ‘broken pottery pieces moving around noises’ and know i’m fucked. All my fucking plates except 3 are busted. They were sturdy old plates that looked like fiestaware I got at good will and have had for nearly 10 years. They're all still wrapped in my bubble wrap. Just fucking shattered. So. that’s something I need to deal with. So far they’re the only broken things we’ve found, but damn it’s going to be a pain to replace. So once the cable guy shows up 2 hours late, and finally gets that set up, mom and I run back to the apartment, grab the last box, and go to physically drop my keys off because my landlord sucks. We get stuck in traffic cause Western is shit again, and finally make the ‘20 min’ drive according to gps in about an hour. I drop them off, and we’re back at my condo. Mom and I unpack until she leaves in the evening and then I go to my room and get online and I haven’t unpacked shit since then. I’m going to after I type this out (and send a form to the office, and ask a polite question about how do I get amazon packages delivered to the package room because my smoke alarm does not work at all and the nice matience guy who discovered that yesterday let me off without a fine, cause he could see i’d literally just moved in, but I need to fix that). But like.... i’m actually in the room! and about half the boxes are unpacked!!! which is amazing!!!! so, it had some issues, but at least i’m fucking moved!

[aemilythings-blog1]

I had been travelling to New Zealand for a few years before deciding to move there permanently. Like many, I was struck by the incredible scenery, the friendly people, and the clean environment. In short, it’s perfect. A paradise even.

One of the more popular ways to see this amazing country is by travelling in a van and sleeping in it, or by car and using a tent. You’ll often hear this referred to as ‘freedom camping’.

WHAT EXACTLY IS FREEDOM CAMPING?

In New Zealand, the use of vans and car camping has a long history going back decades. And in recent years, its grown extremely popular with the movement and social media.

Freedom camping is the act of camping on public land outside of a recognised campground. Put simply, you are camping for free. The freedom camping definition does not include the camping done while on hikes- that is different and isn't covered here.

But unlike the brief description above, it is a little more complicated and there are some restrictions in place that you need to be aware of before you go camping anywhere.

Read More:

8 Must Have Apps for a New Zealand Adventure Trip!

12 Things Vanlife Will Do to You!

WHERE CAN YOU FREEDOM CAMP IN NEW ZEALAND?

The easiest way to decide on your camping options is to know whether your vehicle is self contained or not.

► When you have a self contained vehicle.

If you have a self contained vehicle, you will have the blue certification sticker and certificate of self containment to go along with it. Being self contained means complying with the latest regulation: NZS 5465:2001.

With this certification, you can camp almost anywhere and by following each councils bylaws on freedom camping. However, many councils have restrictions in place. Most town centres are off limits, as are popular day use areas. To find out where to camp, head down to the resources section below for the mobile apps and websites you need.

► When you have a NON self contained vehicle.

If you do not have a self contained vehicle or are camping in your tent, you will only be allowed to camp in places that allow freedom camping with non self contained means.

Your options will be limited, with only a handful of areas to camp around the country. And each year, the number of available free campsites is being reduced. This can make it more challenging to have a camping holiday with free accommodation. Many people without self contained vehicles will often stay in paid campgrounds. And the few campsites that are free are often at full capacity, which may mean you do not have a spot when you arrive.

Alternatives to freedom camping if you cannot freedom camp:

► DOC (Department of Conservation) campsites range from $5-15 per night. Almost all have toilets (flushing or drop toilets) but only a few have showers and kitchens.

► Holiday Parks and private campgrounds $5-40 per night. They usually have all facilities and are quite nice to stay at.

WHY IS FREEDOM CAMPING AT RISK?

If you aren’t aware of the issues yet, you will quickly come to hear of them when you arrive or start your camping trip.

In short: freedom camping is at risk from being banned or restricted severely by the few who spoil it for the rest.

How? By people dumping waste, littering and going to the toilet in public spaces.

This has been on the rise for many years and is only going to complicate the issues further with the increasing numbers of visitors coming each year.

It’s going to come down to the government to set the system up to ensure freedom camping continues and visitors respecting the rules and environment so that freedom camping is there for many more to enjoy.

So how you choose to behave on your trip is going to influence a countries decision on freedom camping for many years to come. Do it right!

SELF CONTAINED VS NON SELF CONTAINED

This is the big question many visitors have when arriving and deciding to camp around the country.

Should I go self contained or not?

Usually, self contained vehicles cost far more than non self contained ones. It is not uncommon to see a 20-40% price increase on a vehicle with self contained certification compared to one without. Rentals are usually much higher as well with surcharges on self contained vans.

You will need to do the calculations on whether this extra amount is worth it, or whether it is better staying in campgrounds. The freedom you have with a self contained vehicle can be worth it if you plan on accessing areas far away from any paid campgrounds or are travelling for a few months or more.

In the end it is your choice of how you choose to travel in New Zealand that will influence your decision. Either way, you will need to stay flexible in your plans, and certainly take freedom camping seriously by leaving no trace.

CAN I GET THE SELF CONTAINED CERTIFICATION?

Yes you can! With a little bit of work for those with basic hands on skills, its easily done.

The two organisations that can do the certification are NZMCA and All Points Camping. While NZMCA will no longer certify some models of vans, All Points will. For some more information on van fit-outs, visit BEDVANZ who also sell and buy vans and do fit-outs. It is often much easier to get a company like BEDVANZ to do it rather than stressing.

HOW TO RESPONSIBLY CAMP ON YOUR TRIP TO NEW ZEALAND

With freedom camping becoming an increasingly contentious issue, there is now a push to rename it to something new, something more appropriate and invoking the correct response to its name:

Responsible Camping!

By camping responsibly, we will not only keep New Zealand beautiful, we will ensure the tradition of camping almost anywhere can keep going.

The most important rules to responsible freedom camping are these:

◘ Do not litter and dispose of ALL your rubbish in the bin.

◘ Do not go to the toilet anywhere you want. Use your on-board toilet if you are self contained OR use the nearest public toilet. Do not poo in the bush. You can buy cornstarch bags to go in and dispose of them in the drop toilets if you wish. This is done in back country travel anyway.

◘ Respect local fire laws. You cannot make fires anywhere you want!

◘ Do not wash yourself or your dishes in the waterways! Chemicals pollute and harm the wildlife!

◘ Check local laws before you camp! Do not camp on private ground!

And here is some extra freedom camping etiquette to follow:

◘ Don’t be noisy or disrespectful. Pretty obvious I think, no one wants to hear your party carry on into the night.

◘ Keep your camping area clean, pick up any rubbish you find even if its not yours. The only way to improve the negative image left by those few who wrecked it is by improving it!

◘ Organise your van or vehicle away from the public. I’ve seen many who decide the shopping centre car park is the place to do a full clean-out of their van, with the contents piled in the next car parks. Please don’t do this!

◘ Call out other campers if they don’t follow the rules. They are hurting you directly with your future ability to camp.

◘ Don’t shower nude for everyone to see. It’s not something done in New Zealand. Use a shower tent or use public showers. This is again affecting the negative image of freedom campers.

Not following the important rules does carry consequences!

A $200 instant fine applies to any illegal camping. Wheel clamping is also in effect in some districts and on the rise in others. Arguing with the council officer giving the fine, or refusing to provide information is also an offence and carries up to $5000 in penalties.

Dumping waste illegally can cost you up to $10,000. Use bins or dumping stations including for your grey and black water waste.

How likely is it to get caught illegally freedom camping? Very likely in some areas. Its a small country and councils know the spots that are preferred for freedom camping illegally.

Many councils also now employ full time staff on night shifts to hand out fines. And each time they do, the person responsible is hurting the future of freedom camping. Please don’t be that person. Camp responsibly.

RESOURCES FOR YOUR TRIP

To ensure you have a great trip while camping, make sure to use all the following resources:

► Up to date information on freedom camping:

https://www.freedomcamping.org/

► Leave no trace principles:

https://www.leavenotrace.org.nz/

► Find out where you can camp:

Campermate App (Android + Apple)

► More camping information from local councils:

http://www.lgnz.co.nz/nzs-local-government/new-zealands-councils/

(Use the map to find which local council area you are in, then look up that councils laws on freedom camping)

► Get other useful apps:

8 Must Have Apps for a NZ Adventure Trip!

Hopefully with the continued support of everyone, we can all enjoy camping in the amazing country of New Zealand for many years to come!

Have any questions about freedom camping in New Zealand or living in a van? Just head to the CONTACT page and send me an email!

This posts information is current as of winter 2018. Any changes to freedom camping policy will be updated when possible.

[twerkstallion]

Cars Fandom Tag Meme

Tagged by @a113cowgirl THANK YOU!! 

Created by @pixelthenerdcat 

“Just because I love doing these tagging memes :) 

For the Cars films, what is your…”

Favorite male character: LIGHTNING MCQUEEN! He is so fucken funny 

Favorite female character: wow there aren't enough so Sally!! (But I have a feeling Ima love Cruz) 

Least favorite male character: prof z. What a fucken creep. Why does he have car hair. What- 

Least favorite female character: minny, or the french lady with tit eyes 

Favorite scene: the opening scene of Cars changed my entire life. Every single thing Lightning does is iconic to the max  

I mean: you're in a movie theatre. It's dark. The Pixar lamp turns off. The screen is dark. It's silent. Suddenly, you hear Owen Wilson breathing and talking to himself about eating breakfast. The screen lights up a few times from the blackness, but it's just flashes of speeding racecars with roaring engines in the thrill of a race. You and the other 40 occupants of the theatre sit stone still, bewildered. What the fuck is this memefuckery, Pixar, what the f- 

Favorite actor and their role: uhhhhh wtf they're all so awesome????? They all put so much into their characters and you can just TELL and wow. 

Favorite Cars videogame (yes this includes mobile games like Fast as Lightning): the original Cars on the 360. All of the dialogue and paintjobs and stories and subplots and races and jokes had me LIVING. ESPECIALLY THE SOUNDTRACK HOLY FUCK!! AND LIGHTNING!! FALLING ASLEEP! IN THE MIDDLE OF GAMEPLAY! I N C R E D I B L E 

OTP: uhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not super shippy with cars honestly?? Because they're... cars.... 

I love salqueen tho 

BROTP or Platonic OTP: Lightning being friends with people without realizing it, like Mack and Strip tho... 

NOTP: I'm not here to bash ships... excEPT THAT ONE SHIP I WONT MENTION!! 

Why do you like the films: why do I- 

Why do I like caRS!??!?????!!! 

WHY??!??? 

I WISH I FUCKEN KNEW BUDDY!! YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!! Cars is corny as fuck!!! It's garbage basically!! But somehow I just... SAW Lightning McQueen and my brain just.... locked on!! Like, "HERE WE GO, tHE ONLY THING YOU’LL EVER GET THIS EXCITED ABOUT IN YOUR E N T I R E LIFE, THIS IS THE THING, FOREVER.!" And now I'm stuck like this!!! It doesn't make sense!!! I literally have NO explanation!!!! I wish I did!!!!!! 

What are you hoping to see the most in Cars 3: 

-THE SOUND PRODUCTION. I WANT THE ENGINE SOUNDS TO FLATTEN ME IN MY MOVIE THEATRE SEAT 

-the realistic, good dinosaur-esque rendering  

-chick! 

-salqueen smooches!!! 

-DESERT RACING 

-SNOW RACING 

-Lightning McQueen yelling noises 

-Lightning driving under a WAVE at the beach with the sun shining thru the water 

-the new settings!! 

-I could go on but uhhh the movie still might suck 

“Okay, now for some fandom related questions:” 

Favorite part of the fandom: the memes, the Freakouts™, the keyboard smashing, the art, the fic, the Reactions™, the fanon, the in-jokes, when people find a post that says "woah there's a cars fandom???" And the entire tumblr cars fandom replies "hi", the edits, the MVs, the spoof videos, the creative humanizations, the shitposts, the Actual Car Nerds, the FEELS TRAINS, the speculation, the quotes blog haha, the art styles, the rare gifset, ok this is a lot, 

Favorite Cars fanartist: @edgyroses, @hillbillyhell, @paralleldragons, @kiwi-likes-cars, @radiationstinks, @flatter-pencil, @invalidincorrect, there are more i swear...

Favorite Cars fanfic: these aren't tulips, Fillmore' freak juice, stormy weather, the jaguar syndrome series, Doc Hudson autobiography, stuff from @a113cowgirl, @radiatonstinks, @pixelthenerdcat ... I feel like a lot of my classic faves got deleted or didn't age well with me so that's it basically

What you enjoy putting out in the fandom (this could be anything, including rambly text posts): I love when I make a killer shitpost and the entire fandom just breaks down around it. (eg. “Get your Chicks”, “Lightning doesn’t have tits”, “car condoms”) Edits and fanart are fun too. And this is the only fandom I've written fic for. (And if I had the means to do video, you bet your ass I'd churn out memes and edits like no tomorrow.) Oh, and META!!

Do you think the fandom will survive after the release of Cars 3? (I know, evil question, but still >:D: uhhhhhh ok at first I thought NO WAY, but then... the Cars fandom was bangin' for YEEAAARSS after 2006, so if Cars 3 is good, the kids will go nuts and we will stay for a little while longer.... 

What made you become part of the fandom?: um well definitely FF.net. The original Cars trailer switched a GIANT fanfiction switch on in my head. It was instant, a lightbulb, a revelation. I was eight years old and suddenly pacing around, feverent and brimming with ideas and predictions for hours and hours and hours. I didn't even know what fanfic was despite writing so much of it in my head until... I found FF. Then I saw that OTHER people did the SAME thing, and I went nuts. I remember I read all 403 cars postings and I'd check daily for updates on any of them. (I ended up reading some untagged smut at a young age because of this though, and it fucked me up pretty bad honestly. Suddenly there was sex in a k+ rated story. Major yikes) But yeah I hopped on FF and DA and followed the content. I never actually talked to anyone in the fandom (thank god) until now, here on Tumblr. The tumblr cars fandom is a fucking INCREDIBLE niche here on the vast internet, I'm so glad I've been a part of this. Thank you for bonding together ya fucken nerds. I love you.

[smudgeypudge]

Update

It’s been a crazy winter in the mountains, with not as much snow as we’re used to getting, but it’s snowing again today so maybe we’ll have a few weeks more of ‘normal’ winter before spring comes.

My son’s cleft palate surgery has been postponed again as we wait for him to meet developmental milestones, so once again we’re navigating little-traveled territory, since he’s getting his repair far later than most kids do.

However, I really don’t think the cleft is the thing holding him back from developing his oral habits on time; from observing him, I think it has a lot more to do with his chiari malformation and the sensory problems resulting from that. So, the feeding therapy continues, and hopefully we overcome soon.

Not that I’m anxious to send him into another surgery, considering he just had a surgery three months ago, but because we depend on state Medicaid to pay the deductible on our private insurance, and we have to reach $9,000 this year in order for his out-of-state neurosurgeon to be fully covered, we’ll probably meet the deductible during the first day of his hospital stay for the cleft surgery, which will then financially enable us to go see his neurosurgeon and get new MRIs taken of his brain and spine. I’m anxious to see what the status is on his spinal syrinx, and to see how stable his chiari malformation is, or whether the last bout of hydrocephalus made it worse. This is important information to know, since both things have an enormous impact on his development and therapy, and could potentially mean more surgeries.

So, before 2017 is over, we’re facing one more surgery for sure, and we’re working towards being ready for that.

I get so tired of all of this medical stuff, though, and wish I could take a vacation. He’s followed very closely because of the complexity of his various conditions, so every week I have multiple therapists and docs checking up to make sure I did this therapy, that therapy, this visit, schedule this appointment, and it’s impossible to keep up because I’m expected to do most of this therapeutic stuff myself on a daily basis. He’s not the only child in this family and he can’t have all of my energy and attention. There just isn’t enough of me and not enough hours in the day to do everything.

Which, could be the reason my hair has gone from having just a few silvers to being almost completely grey in the past year.

Recently his PT informed me that an orthotist is coming to our remote town in a few weeks and I should try to get braces for my son so he can use a stationary stander. His doctors think this is a great idea, and his trunk is finally strong enough to attempt this. First, we had to find a stander and think we might have found one we can borrow, 40 miles away. Then his PT and I had to secure a prescription and quickly schedule with the orthotist, since it was sort of at the last minute. Now we have to wait to see whether insurance will agree to pay for the braces. Medicaid tends to be good about covering this type of thing, but since he’s not ambulatory, some insurance companies might say he doesn’t need braces. The problem is, walking sometimes comes years late for kids with spina bifida, and they almost always need braces to stabilize their joints, so by denying kids a chance at braces because they aren’t ambulatory yet is like denying them a chance to even try to see what they can do. Surgeons are often very content to just write a prescription for a wheelchair and not try anything else because “what’s the use?”, even for adults that have suffered spinal injuries. It’s usually the physical and occupational therapists that want to test boundaries. Parents of happily ambulatory adult kids have described how they had to really push and argue to get prescriptions for braces, and I guess what I took away from that is that it’s better to try to open every door, rather than closing doors, because you never know what will happen or what your child will want in the future.

The one thing that has been personally freeing in the last few months is I’m not pumping as many times a day anymore, and he’s not drinking a bottle every two hours, which gives us more flexibility to go out to do things. During the first year, when I wasn’t feeding him, I was pumping for the next feeding. I went a whole year getting 3-4 hours of sleep every single night because of the pumping and feeding schedule. Now I can sleep 6 hours, which is amazing. Looking forward to 8 hours someday! But yeah, here’s to 19 months of being able to give breastmilk to my baby! Hopefully we make it to 24!