#i wish my brain was normal

[sevikagf]

i miss buying things, i miss ordering food, i miss going out with friends and buying them things, i miss going grocery shopping and not having to worry about if i can afford it, i miss being able to pay my bills and rent, i miss going shopping with no intention on buying anything and then finding a small treat bc i wanted it, i miss having even just a little bit of money

[words-with-wren]

Top fics I promise I'll write one day once I convince myself that writing is actually something I enjoy (in no particular order)

(Please come chat with me about them!)

Desert Birds. Only one on the list I've actually started, a Star Wars fic where Jango Fett rescues Shmi Skywalker and takes her back to Kamino with him. Slowburn ship fic where they gradually realise how much better they make each other and become a family. Shmi gets Mando armour. Will eventually go into the Clone Wars and feature other favourite star wars characters, changing the course of the galaxy.

Stories That Never Were. Doctor Who fic set in the Year that Never Was at the end of series 3. Alternating between Martha Jones walking the earth, running into people/past companions who help her along the way, and how different companions on earth are coping. Featuring UNIT boys as old men, Ace and Barbara blowing up Daleks together, and little old lady Jo calmly but firmly telling the Master off while being bombed.

Adric focused story, yet to be named. Classic Doctor Who fic, where just before the ship crashes into the earth, Adric is given a choice and chooses to live. But at the cost of everything the Doctor taught him was good. Still figuring out the details, but a fic exploring Adric's desire to belong vs his inherent selfishness, as well as the hurt in the knowledge that he was left to die. Maybe featuring Barbara and Ian and the Fifteenth Doctor. Details being worked out.

Endeavour fic, Joan says yes season 5 au. I'm sure it's been done before but I want to have a try at writing it. Joan agrees to marry Morse at the end of season 4, and they suddenly have to make it work. Runs semi parallel to season 5, exploring their dynamic, how this effects both of their relationships with Thursday, and also Joan doesn't lose the baby, so they both have a bit under 9 months to adjust to the idea of becoming not just married but also parents

Various original works.

Come chat to me about these if you so desire if not I'm just Holding Them here for my own reference.

[chl03ph0b1a]

Little rant here, I hate when people stereotype ADHD as being quirky, disorganized, creative, or forgetful. It’s so much more than that and I hate being stereotyped. In reality, having ADHD is so exhausting, coming from a person with it. I hate when people are like, “I wish I had ADHD” or, “Just try harder” or some shit like that. I don’t think people understand that I don’t want to be like this. Why would ANYONE want to feel like this? Every single day is a such a struggle, everything is so hard, and all I can think of some days is, “Is every single day going to be this hard?” I cry to my friends because I don’t want to feel this shitty feeling, and yet people still have the audacity to think that I’m making up my mental illness to feel quirky or be unique. No one wants to feeling like this, no one wants to have such big and deep emotions that they can’t function, no one wants to be in ADHD paralysis and not be able to like do their fucking laundry everyday. Some people will say, “Oh it’s your superpower” yes there are some beautiful aspects of ADHD, but I bet you that most people don’t want to live like this. The worst part is that you can’t tell anybody because no. 1, how do you explain how deep your emotions are and how you just feel like you can’t do it anymore? How the fuck do you explain that to someone? No. 2, you’re just met with people saying, “Oh, that’s not real, you just need to try harder” as if I haven’t been fucking trying my entire life. I am so tired of everything being so hard, I am tired of the judgement, I’m tired of people saying that what I’m going through isn’t real, because why would anyone want to be like this? I wish it was an excuse, because then I could just stop. Sorry for the rant, it’s a little bit different from my normal gotg stuff, but I just needed to get this out of my system.

[sakebytheriver]

Its so weird how 11pm feels almost early to me, but like that's the time when healthy people fall asleep

I mean can you even imagine?

All day I'm so tired all the time, and then I finally get to go to bed and I'm there trying to fall asleep for hours on end and 11pm passes me by and I'm like "it's fine it's not that late yet" and then I blink and it's midnight and it's a WHOLE NEW DAY and I still have not fallen asleep like do y'all even realize how fucked up that is?

[gracieheartspedro]

my ocd is so bad rn like I wont be sleeping tonight cause I think that i’m dying 🙏🏻 if only I could let it go

[switchytransboy]

you know that place emotionally where you’re not happy but not sad, but also not neutral either. you’re definitely feeling low, but also kind of numb. it’s just such a :/ and weird/frustrating place to be in.

[makigorogoro]

yoi know what this deserves to be on tumblr too

[darby-rowe]

cw talking about medication under the cut, vent

my first day back on ritalin for the first time in 6 months, and one thing i dont miss is the horrible drops in mood i experience.

like i’ll first take my pill and i’ll feel great for an hour or two. but afterwards my mood will just drop severely. i’ll still have my attention span but i’ll go from feeling elated to feeling so horribly down.

im thankful to be medicated but man this sucks

[fleurmeadows]

no one understands the misery I feel when I have to do multiple tasks in a day. In a time limit. With my brain being like “lol you gotta do x and x and x and y and finally z” but my body just won’t.fucking.move. Then I get the whole “you’re lazy just do it” but hello I fucking psychically cannot bring myself to do shit. Idk wtf is wrong with me but I’m sick of it

[blitz0hno]

Two days ago our John was fronting in a photo and we got a comment that we r "jawlinemaxxing" and today we are talking about Mikoto's fuckin jawline and the difference between the two alters with completely different people on a different platform and John canonically has a tenser face!!! The coincidences gotta quit plzzzzz ion wanna go to jail /j

[valsilverhand-archive]

.

[leihaddock]

BRAIN WOULD YOU PLEASE DECIDE

If you decide to go full imposter syndrome, why dysphoria

Why dysphoria from binding and from not binding (for slightly different reasons but still)

If hormones why more dysphoria than before

Why imposter syndrome when sure

Why physical recoiling from being called a cishet woman when you keep screaming „but what if I’m just pretending“

I am not pretending. I am a trans guy. I am a trans man. I am comfortable with that. Stop being annoying, brain

[sunset-bridge]

im so normal about people not liking the same things i do

[daenerys-targaryen]

🤡

[bellaturner]

do you ever stop and think wtf am I doing with my life and keep doing exactly what you were doing as if it never happened?

[abilouwrites]

A CURSE

My mother was given the curse of a child like her. A stubborn, emotional, and thoughtful child came from her. You told me that I’m just like you, then go on in the same breath to tell me how bratty, sassy and how much flack you gave your parents. Pushing me into the narrative you have so desperately tried to escape. Im you. And when you wished upon me that I would have a daughter like me I hoped.

For maybe one day I’ll have a baby girl, she’ll be stubborn, strong and just like me when I was her age. Except instead of pointing out her flaws, instead of tearing her down to keep her humble I’ll build her up. I’ll teach her to love herself. Because maybe, maybe I can prove to myself that I am loveable. That somewhere, someone loves me. That I can be loved. With the right treatment, with the proper care this curse you have called upon me will become my own blessing. I will tell her stories of my childhood and remind her she is not me. That she will forge her own path in the world unlike any other.

I’ve been told having a daughter is a curse, you’ll get the sass and smack thrown right back at you. And I hope I do, because I want to treat her with love this time. I want her to know she is loved, she will always be loved. That she won’t be tossed away at the first sign of imperfection. I’ll tell her how proud I am of her. But most of all. I won’t tell her I was scared to have her, I won’t tell her I didn’t want her. I won’t make her regret her life like you did.

I’ll tell her she’s enough for me. Because you never did.