#i wish more characters had micro labels

[sapphirebluejewel]

[lieutenantselnia]

I wanted to make a May the 4th post dedicated to my Star Wars f/os yesterday, but I gotta be honest I just did not have the energy ._. So I'm just gonna do it now though!

I never really talked much about my Star Wars f/os on here because despite having 5 of them (maybe more if you count platonics), they're all secondary f/os and I hardly find the time to dedicate art or writing to them. They still mean a lot to me though and I think they're wonderful and interesting characters, so here they are💕

First up, Grand Admiral Thrawn/Mitth'raw'nuruodo, I first got to know him properly through Rebels (I knew he had existed in the Legends universe before already but didn't particularly care about him) and not going to lie, for a while I found him really annoying. He seemed very arrogant to me and I didn't get how he could always be a step ahead of the rebels, but I learned to understand and appreciate him, and somehow I fell in love with him eventually. At the time he was probably the strongest fictional crush I ever had (this man literally made me question my asexuality at some point - I didn't know that micro-labels like grey-, demi- or fictosexual were a thing back then). I didn't know about the existence of a self ship community back then, but in my head I shipped a character that was basically myself with him (with a few changes of course, like I was 16 at the time but my s/i was obviously a grown adult, the story I had in mind for her wouldn't have made sense otherwise anyway). I also started writing character x reader fanfictions about him! I finished a few one-shots, but the only multi-chapter story I started has unfortunately been laying around abandoned for a few years. I still kind of want to write an ending for it one day, but I don't know when that will happen. I struggled with my feelings for Thrawn after some uncomfortable experience with a former acquaintance in the Star Wars community, but as this is luckily in the past and maybe I can reconnect with him some day (In the meantime I'd love to meet other Thrawn shippers who are comfortable sharing him!). Regardless of that my love for him has had a significant influence on me, because without him I would've probably never made my art instagram account (the first social media account I made aside my personal insta account that I never use) and wouldn't have met many of my wonderful online friends.

Next up, Admiral Ar'alani, she's gorgeous and at least partially responsible for my bi awakening. I mean just look at her! Due to being a book character she's probably kind of underrated and less well known, I'd love to see an animated series about her and the crew of the Steadfast! I loved her in the Thrawn trilogy, I still have to read the Ascendancy trilogy though.

Commodore Karyn Faro probably wins the price for the most underrated f/o among them (also F in the chat for her for having literally 2 canonical depictions in a comic and no other visual reference, that's why I had to choose a slightly silly picture for her). I loved reading from her perspective in the Thrawn trilogy and I always enjoyed her dynamic with him too. Despite having her as an f/o I also ship her with Ar'alani, I think they'd make a cute couple. At the moment her canonical fate is pretty much unknown (I don't think it was ever made clear whether she left the Chimaera to transfer to her own fleet before Thrawn left for Lothal or not?), but although it is unlikely I personally wish that she'd also somehow end up with the Chiss like Eli did and get a happy ending with them.

Tech was just a very relatable character for me, and I knew I'd like him pretty much from the start. I always had a weak spot for this slightly nerdy scientist type of characters (namely Kowalski from TPoM and Mr. Spock from Star Trek TOS), I just never really f/o'd any of them before since I was like 8 years old or so at the time I was obsessed with them. But oh I had so much fun watching Tech, and his quote "I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you"? That hit right in the heart especially since I could relate so much to it. Also he must still be alive, I don't accept that he's gone no matter what the canon says.

Last but not least, I think General Grievous/Qymaen jai Sheelal was actually my second proper fictional crush, but for some reason it took me until last year to properly admit to it? I don't know, apparently 13 year old me was unconsciously in denial about being a monster lover, or just somehow unaware that I could just ship myself or an oc with him and didn't have to pick one of the canon characters. He's a character I'd actually love to come back some time, it's mainly that I'm too focused on my other f/os at the moment, but I think he deserves more love (yes I know he's kind of horrible too, but I think horrible fictional guys can still be loved and cherished).

Anyway this got longer than I anticipated, but at least you have an introduction to some of my secondary f/os now I guess. Anyways I hope you all had a happy Star Wars day, and who knows, maybe some of these guys here will make an appearance on my blog again in the future <3

[thanks-obillma]

okay finally sat down and watched season two of tvdint so uh thoughts bc I'm going wild over this but the fandom is teensy, disclaimer that I've only watched the anime

Okay so came for Micro Bikini (thank you obscure character showdown tags for making me look him up), and ngl he's definitely one of my favorites.

S Tier: Micro Bikini, Draluc, Yakyuken Lover, Senya

A Tier: Transparent Lower Half, Etiquette Breacher, Tsujigiri, Mr. Lewd Talk

B Tier: Maria, Nudenium (he grew on me a lot), Koyuki, Odd Creature, Fukuma and Kei (he reminds me of my brother)

John is very cute, Handa is funny, and Ronaldo is meh but whatever makes Draluc happy. Anyways thoughts and hcs about some of my favorites:

Draluc-- hhhhhhhhhhhh, I would spoil him so much, biromantic gay. Possibly a trans man. Very much in love with Ronaldo by the second season, doesn't want to confess because he's pretty sure Ronaldo is straight and worries that it would ruin the good thing they have. It's really transparent to everyone who knows him tho. Also has a crush on Hinaichi, especially at the beginning, but it turns platonic as time goes on.

Micro Bikini-- asexual but he doesn't really know it. Both his brothers are bi and he's had crushes of all genders, but it makes him super uncomfy to try to label it so he just shrugs and lets people assume whatever they want about his orientation. Probably arospec too. is "weirdly attracted" to Nudenium, doesn't have the words to explain but is pretty sure this isn't how crushes are supposed to feel like, and is right.

Yakyuken Lover-- bisexual, polyamorous too but doesn't know it. Secretly a hopeless romantic and gets crushes super easy. Goes all in with relationships especially at the start but invariably gets crushes on other people no matter how hard he tries to avoid it, really beats up on himself for this and is pretty disillusioned with romance. Dates Mr. Lewd Talk during season 1. Ends up with a crush on Koyuki thru season 2 but knows she's out of his league. They end up getting together after season 2.

Transparent Lower Half-- bi he/they, has a one-sided crush on Etiquette Breacher. I wish he had more screen time.

Senya-- genderqueer, she/her. Has a long, very complicated relationship with her gender and doesn't like talking about it, considers herself femme leaning. Close old friends with the guild master.

Tsujigiri-- nonbinary, they/them, aroace. Has something with Kantarou but neither of them know what it is.

Etiquette Breacher-- genderfluid, any pronouns but prefers they/them, likes guys, demiromantic, dating Satetsu. I like their laugh.

Mr. Lewd Talk-- bisexual gay man. Dates Yakyuken during season 1 and stays on friendly terms with him when they break up. Him and Draus dated for a long time before Draus eventually broke up with him for Mira. tbh, still not over him. like at all. it's kinda embarassing.

Mikazuki-- that's a he/him butch.

Koyuki-- straight trans woman, she/her, idk what she sees in Yakyuken platonic or otherwise but she certainly seems to see something.

Kantarou-- bisexual arospec agender, is fine with any pronouns but is used to he/him and it doesn't always register right away if others are used

various others: Ronaldo is bi but doesn't realize until he starts catching feelings for Draluc. Hiyoshi is a trans man. Shot is pan. John is also gay and him and Draluc bond over this.

[dutifulsnack]

i don't feel good.

i feel like i really need intimacy.

i think i need to not be as lethargic as i am rn.

pillars of eternity 2 is kinda fun. the story and the characters are somewhat interesting (never played 1), and i would literally melt if captain aeldys was real.

i would be so easy to exploit. just put a moderately attractive, competent woman in charge who uses terms of endearment without mocking me and i would literally fall in love.

i hate using labels.

i don't know what i am.

i might be a misandrist bisexual. i might be a straight bottom. i might be ace but not aro. who the fuck knows at this point. i might be a bisexual who leans towards women. it's not like it matters tbh, i'm alone either way.

i think it's all made up.

anyways yeah, pillars of eternity 2 has a combat system i don't truely enjoy, but i can work with it. it's a lot of pausing as i try to micro my casters, which kinda makes me wish it was turn based.

however, the game was designed around not being real time, and i don't dislike that enough sooo.

anyways, i like the world. the people and their thoughts feel good to me. i liked the makeha conflict in particular.

i don't quite care for the starting companions though. Xoti is okay, Serafen is good. don't quite care for Eder (he's funny sometimes) or Aloth (i love fireball because it explodes gunpowder barrels)

i imagine i would like both of them more if i had played the first game.

i know that, in the current playthrough, i will meet 2 more companions that i definitely find more interesting than the latter two mentioned before (bird woman and the woman with the bird). there is also that one character who i was barely introduced to before my laptop died and lost everything. he uh, was okay? i didn't like him as a person, and it felt like he didn't really have much going on that felt relevant?

like the bird lady and the lady with the bird are closely connected to the two of the three big factions in neketraka. i think he is supposed to be connected to the huana but i never got around to feeling that way about him? his personal story is what i started seeing before losing the save, which doesn't really interest me.

i think i have a similar problem with Eder and Aloth. i don't know what their people do, what the leaden key is, etc, i haven't played the first game. Xoti at least has something big going on with the main plot with Gaun/Eothas, and she expresses that conflict in a more interesting way to me than Eder.

i don't think i'm gonna tag this one.

[chaoticrobotics]

(part of my last ask)

Have you ever had people with sexualitys that are rarely heard or spoken about? Like abrosexual? ( my sexuality c: )

And have y'all had to deal with people that have unvalid sexualitys, or made up ones? If you know what I mean-

[I will answer that second part because it's a bit heavy to do in character, at least to me. I would say that they have dealt with that kind of stuff. If it's something that kids and young teens are doing and saying they are, then the animatronics let them be most of the time, though they will try to educate them on possible homophobia or transphobia that could come with the "made up" labels.

As for the invalid ones (which I can only think of Pedophilia and Bestiality, but I'm sure there are others) then yes. That is unfortunately something that has occurred since the Pizzaplex is very popular and attracts all kinds of people. Most of the time the people are asked to leave if there are no actual legalities that could get the arrested, but when there is any kind of proof to what they "identify" as, then the police are called.

I personally don't know how to handle a situation that would involve those kinds of thins. The only situations I can THINK of that would have those people SHOW their "sexualities" are ones where thorough investigations and legal actions are required and I don't want to get into that kind of topic or ideas because they can be very heavy and triggering for some people. So that's all I have to say about that second half of your ask.]

Freddy: We try our best to keep up with all the different labels and micro identities that pop up, but it is hard to always be on top of things. If we find a new identity that we don't know about, we just ask and try to support that person! Just because someone identifies as a demigirl, abrosexual, aegosexual, or any other mirco identity, doesn't mean they are invalid! Some people just prefer to have a very defined version of themself, while others are more open to more general labels!

______________

Chica: Yup! Absolutely! We've had plenty of people come up and talk to us about their micro identities, or their neopronouns, and you can see it in their face that they feel very anxious, but when we say they are valid and okay, their faces light up!

Roxy: I don't really understand HALF of the stuff I've been told, but hey! It's not my place to say how people should feel. If someone feels empowered by their label, then let them have it!

______________

Monty: I've heard tons of random stuff people come up to me with! It's totally awesome! This one teen came up to me and told me about libragenders and all kinds of stuff! Like libramasculine, librafeminine, and lirbafluid! It was really super cool!

I told DJ about it and he liked libramasculine so much and felt it fit that he started using it! See, you don't get to see cool shit like that, helping people figure out who they are, by being a bigot! Sure, I sometimes word things the wrong way, and have had people take my words with bad faith, but like, I never diss someone for thinking or feeling line one thing over the other! It's cool seeing people talk about themselves with pride!

______________

DJMM: I don't get a lot of people come up to me and tell me their identities. There have been a few, but it was more for a song request. Where someone wanted a genderqueer song and I had no idea what that was at first, so they explained it to me and I did my best to search my library for one that would fit.

I honestly wish more people would tell me about their identities! I had to find mine out through Monty after he was talking about some of the identities that kids were telling him.

______________

Sun: Not really! Most of the kids in the Daycare don't even know what gay or lesbian is! Or even things about transgender or nonbinary people! It's honestly really sad what some of them don't know, or what they repeat from their parents....

Moon: "Sometimes a teen will come in to pick up a sibling and they have a pride button on that we never seen. We usually ask politely what it means and they go on a whole spiel about their identity and whatnot. It's really nice to see, especially if the kid is happy to be heard by someone else, even if that someone is just a robot."

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[pharahlesbian]

What are your opinions on aromantic folks?

well, its kind of complicated. on the one hand, i dont rly feel like u guys r doing anything wrong per se, like none of u ever seem to do any of the harmful shit that aces do. and aro is an identity i used to hold really closely. roughly 4-5 years ago, i was on here identifying as aroace.

my personal experience with both labels is that they did measurable harm to my perception of myself and my sexuality. when i did eventually realize i was a lesbian, i didn’t immediately suspect those labels had done me any harm. not until i read several other accounts of ppl who went through a near identical experience as me

see, the answer to your question is complicated bc i first have to address split attraction. its one of my main gripes with asexuality. its my firm belief that romantic and sexual attraction should not be so neatly sequestered the way many people describe them to be. the reality of attraction is that every single person experiences it uniquely and defines it for themselves and themselves alone. i genuinely think the labels “aromantic” and “asexual” and all their variants shouldnt exist at all. and i think they are REGRESSIVE. i really do. they impede progress in a society that desperately needs it. we NEED a more healthy view of sex in our society. we NEED people to understand that its normal and ok to not want sex, or to experience varying degrees of attraction. not wanting sex or romance should be as normal as not wanting your ears pierced. and it should be something you discuss with your partner and your partner alone. having labels for this very normal experience is honestly just setting us back. we dont need to get caught up in a hundred micro labels to describe the ways we have sex. we can just have sex, or dont! or have sex once a month, once a year! or never! and thats your choice and you shouldnt be made to feel like u need to have 5 labels for what should just be how youre feeling. attraction is so nebulous, theres no way we could ever pin it down with labels and we should really stop trying

so. how do i feel about aromantic ppl. well, how do i feel about aromanticism? its a tough conversation to have, because of how personal it is, and its why ive put off this ask for a really long time. i was aroace, yeah, but aro was the label i was really passionate about. im gonna tell you some stuff u might not want to hear, but its my experience.

i was aro because i was lonely, and i was aro because i was scared. i knew i had feelings for girls, but i didnt know how to reconcile them, especially with my burgeoning gender qualms i was also having (which was also happening bc of the aforementioned attraction to girls, but thats another conversation entirely). it was scary, trying to pin down the fact that i was only attracted to girls. and i mightve come to that conclusion a lot sooner if it werent for tumblr telling me about asexuality/aromanticism/split attraction. suddenly i had a copout. cant be attracted to girls if im attracted to no one, right? that plus the fact that when youre lonely and havent experimented with dating, when everything is in hypotheticals, then anything is possible (“well i guess i COULD be attracted to men... but id never have sex with them! so i guess im panro-ace” <-an actual identity i had at age 19. comp het feeds on these micro labels and split attraction)

please keep in mind none of this is directed at you or even aromantics as a whole, im still just talking about my own experience. and my experience was that the aroace label was definitely just a convenient place to hide from being a lesbian. and i know others have had similar experiences.

so...once again. how DO i feel about aromantics? i feel as though we live in a very romance-forward world. romance is everywhere, once youre looking for it. i think i was rather bitter, and preferred pretending that not dating was an identity, rather than the painful reality of firstly not knowing what i wanted, and secondly not even knowing if id BE wanted. i think we all have varying degrees of attraction, both romantic and sexual, and i think for many the two kind of exist in tandem. and again for many, these feelings can exist a lot stronger for them than they do for others. so it leaves a lot of ppl feeling like they MUST be different. i think it makes a lot of sense that i identified strongly with aromanticism, even aside from me using it as something to hide behind. ive never really been much of a romantic. i never had too many crushes, and i only ever imagined romantic scenarios if it were fictional characters i shipped.

of course once i saw someone list these types of things out as evidence of being aro, i was like oh thats me! and latched onto it. and never did anymore introspection. the label was a copout. now, i could tell u that being aroace was a product of knowing i wasnt attracted to men yet not being able to face being attracted to women, so i was like “oh ok guess i have No attraction!” and i can tell u that since ive been with my girlfriend, ive become the sappiest romantic ever.

im not gonna tell you “you just havent found the right person yet :)” but i will say that if you have even the slightest doubt or uncertainty, to go out and experiment! date around and see how you feel. no one can tell you who u are or how u feel except u. u wont be a hypocrite for experimenting. but if youre already sure u dont really feel romantic attraction, then more power to you. not everyone on this earth needs to get married or date. i do think our society needs to normalize just being happy with who you are, and not see it as pitiful. thats an opinion that is so hard to have when youre single, bc u cant help but feel like youre pathetically trying to justify being alone, so im doubling down now that im in a relationship. its fucking ok to not be in a relationship!! if theres one thing that’s stayed the same since i was aro its my assertion that ppl need to fucking chill about orher peoples relationship status

i feel like this answer went in one THOUSAND different directions, but ive been thinking about how to answer this for a while and decided to just word vomit

TL;DR: aromantics are fine, not as harmful as asexuality, you do you, make sure you examime yourself and how you feel often, dont just take the word of ppl on tumblr (me included), everyone experiences attraction differently, i just wish split attraction model didnt exist because its perfectly fine to not want sex/romance or to have low/nonexistent attraction, i just dont believe in the labels/identities.

[grantebanja]

In the midst of the current pandemic and the recent protests on Black Lives Matter, we set out some information on the topic as below.

Black Lives Matter (BLM) began as a trending topic on Twitter in 2016, the current wave of protests were triggered by the death of George Floyd and a number of other black people in the U.S.

The core message of BLM is about people coming together in allyship against racism, essentially ‘Black Lives Matter as much as everyone else’s lives and should be treated as such.’

Black Lives Matter is a movement for social justice and not a political organisation, despite people acting as self-appointed spokespeople and making claims on its behalf.

There is no specific charter or set of policies of BLM that all its supporters subscribe to.

To properly tackle this treatment of black people under the law and within society there have been calls for the identification of, and an end to, systematic and institutional racism.

A Brief History

I have written a piece below to attempt to speak to those that wish to read on about the issues and suggest some ways to address them.

I must preface this by saying these are my own personal views and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.

I feel compelled to add some gravity to this. These issues of injustice under the law are distressing and pressing to many UK based black people because they mirror the daily experience also faced here, albeit to a lesser degree of violence.

No single individual, unless knowingly and overtly racist, should feel any personal guilt or shame from this piece.  We can however look to learn so as to effect change in the future.

The piece is designed to give some insight into the issue of racism and discrimination and how it can manifest itself in our daily life.

I am happy to discuss any of this article with any individuals in confidence.

 A Brief History…

In order to tackle the issue of systemic and institutional racism, one has to first look at its causes and its effect. We know its effect is the discrimination of black and non-white people under the law and many other measurable metrics.

Racism is the discrimination of people based on the colour of their skin and their being in a different ‘race’.

People are born indiscriminate, thus any inherent biases are learnt behaviour.

This raises the question why have the learning and ergo teaching of this racial discrimination become so commonplace to systemic and institutional proportions?

The answer, lies in Europe and their American cousins’ history of imperialism and colonialism. This started with the enslavement of Africans and the commodification of black people’s lives and land.

people in the UK have always been taught that the original insurrections into Africa were about introducing religion and civilising the natives. Similar ‘missions’ and methods were adopted by Europeans in every inhabited continent across the world. However, what ensued was chattel enslavement, and the subsequent African colonisation, which remains one of the biggest atrocities in human history.

The resulting enrichment of the European countries and the U.S on the back of these atrocities, I believe has been stripped or ‘airbrushed’ from national consciousness. There is very little collective or national guilt about this fact, in the same way there is with other atrocities in human history.

In an attempt to justify these atrocities and the imperialism that ensued, the ideology that that these missions were to introduce civility, where there had once been savagery and backwardness, were invented. This resulted in concerted effort to portray black people as ‘savage’ and ‘backward’.

This was the inception of the racist agenda toward black People.

 How Does This Affects Us ALL Today?

The effect of this agenda to portray black people as ‘savage’ and ‘backward’ has evolved over the subsequent years to less insidious stereotypes, many of which you are aware of.

It all stems from a perception perpetuated through media; from outright racist or stereotypical depictions to the current use of softer language or perspectives taken on white people doing exactly the same thing black people do. This has been propagated by socio-economic policy and generally taught down through generations, which has resulted in an implicit and often unconscious bias, that affects the way black people are viewed and treated by wider society.

Studies show that black people are disproportionally over represented in reports on crime, acting roles for black men are disproportionately hyper athletic, criminal or intimidating characters, punishment for crime, arrest rates, school expulsion rates and career progression. Nearly every metric of the standard of human life has black people at the negative end.

The main stereotype that has resulted to the unjust killing of black people is that they are ‘innately violent and criminal’. General stereotypes for black women are as loud, disruptive, aggressive, opinionated, feisty and domineering characters.

At the sharp end, these implied biases often impact the way police will treat a black suspects, judges will give harsher sentences or how a recruiter interviews.

In the more middle ground, there are micro-aggressions; which are comments or actions that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally states a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalised group. It can be as innocent as complimenting a black colleague on something that is taken for granted by all other colleagues, as it reinforces the stereotype that we are somehow an exception to the rule.

Being acutely aware of how we as a race of people are portrayed, makes black people adopt unnatural characteristics. For black women it often leads to them often adopting submissive non-confrontational personas to avoid such stereotypes. This corrective behaviour can take away from the strong assertive characters that others without this insecurity benefit from. As such their true potential may never been seen, to an employer’s detriment.

But I’m personally not racist

Probably not, but throughout time, this implicit bias has resulted in black people not being afforded the same human & civil rights, opportunity and general treatment as our white counterparts.

This trend is generally prevalent in every measurable metric of the human experience; healthcare, housing, education, careers and justice under the law. There is a wealth of statistics, facts and figures globally to back this assertion up.

These incidents are symptoms of systemic discrimination, where the systems are often setup in a way that unfairly impacts people of colour. So although the people working within these systems may not have discriminatory views, they are inadvertently perpetuating a system that inherently is.

The resulting issues of this systemic discrimination over numerous generations has assisted in the reinforcing negative stereotypes and the biases mentioned earlier.

How does it make many ‘Black People’ feel?

These issues form an insight into the ‘black experience’ and leads to many black people feeling like they must ensure that they act in a way that does not re-inforce these stereotypes and feeling personally ashamed when others do. As mentioned, this leads to having to ensure you correct all your behaviour, all of the time, in a way that people of other ethnicities do not. Enhanced corrective behaviour and an almost religious like adherence to always ensuring that you are in control.

For instance, it is rare that you would see a black person act emotively or confrontationally to a situation in the workplace, where people from other racial backgrounds when confronted with the same scenario would.

Can you think of a time a black person in your office has ever raised their voice, cried, and been ashamedly drunk at a work event, outwardly bullish or confrontational?

I can think of many instances, I cannot think of one where that person was black.

I am not arguing that this behaviour is acceptable, or that any person should not adopt some adaptive behaviour for the work environment. The point is that others do not carry the need for such enhanced corrective behaviour to ensure they are not be judged by their race and reinforce the negative stereotypes.

There is also an overarching feeling of not being comfortable enough to correct or address behaviours and systems you know to be inherently discriminatory for fear of being labelled a troublemaker.

In many ways, it’s just easier to ignore and swallow small indignities and instances of casual racism. It’s easier not to ask the Security Guard why he asked me for ID but not my white colleague. It is often not worth challenging the small things, as a) it can get exhausting b) it can get you the label of ‘playing the race’ card and c) it’s probably worth choosing which battles are worth fighting.

These are examples of workplace specific issues that nearly all black people live with. Not to mention the wider issues that have to be navigated throughout daily life.

It should noted that, any marginalised group may have experienced the some of the same issues in microcosms, but they tend not to have the implicit connotations and stereotypes to contend with. Most other groups also have the opportunity to assimilate to the dominant culture either immediately or generationally, black people and indeed all people of colour do not.

[bolbiistroganovsky]

I’m drunk so here are my hot takes:

Ghost and Hozier’s music is basic pop and not as good and subversive as y’all say it is

If you’re having panic attacks about Corona daily or being a woman daily or anything daily, no offense but the world doesn’t suck THAT bad and even if it did that’s not an appropriate response and you should probably talk to a therapist about anxiety

Micro labels are stupid and so is the split attraction model and they’re all based on the queerphobic idea that our identities are inherently more sexual than others

Just because someone is marginalized doesn’t mean they’re always right and especially doesn’t mean they’re always the victim in a situation. Minorities are capable of doing bad things too, even to a member of an oppressor class

Please for the love of god y’all need to learn to read things before forming opinions. If you read something on the internet, fact check it. It’s probably wrong tbh and even if it isn’t it’s probably phrased in a misleading way

Joe Biden fucking sucks but you should still vote for him

We talk a lot about homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, etc on here. You know what we don’t talk about that’s worse than all of these by miles? Classism. Literally we could end all minority based discrimination tomorrow and the world would still suck ass cause of classism.

I’m gonna day it again. Music y’all go “feral” for isn’t that good. Listen to Rett Madison and like live a little.

I don’t want communism cause it’s never worked before and I especially don’t trust this country to get it right.

As badly as y’all wanna be the main character, the USA isn’t a dystopia yet and whining on the internet isn’t gonna do anything to stop that train if it is. Like y’all have to be willing to put some skin in the game if you want change. Every successful movement in history has seen people lose jobs, burn bridges, end relationships, unfortunately even die. This isn’t gonna be any different. Peaceful protesting and voting isn’t gonna cut it sorry about it. If you want radical change put your money where your mouth is and do it.

I think someone needs to assassinate trump at this point. Like take one for the team. I can’t believe no one has even tried. Like chop chop

Police reform or even police abolishment doesn’t mean shit if the school to prison pipeline and private prisons still exist. A lot of people don’t talk about that especially outside sj circles

Public education based on property taxes is the number one way social class is maintained in this country. Number one. Quote me

Additionally, reforming public education without providing free summer programming and preschool won’t close the gap

I’m tired of podcasts. I’m too adhd for that

Someone should also kill Jeff bezos. Let’s capitalize on that estate tax

Teddy trust buster Roosevelt would’ve broken up amazon google and Facebook rn

I wish the Reagan assasination attempt had been successful

I really think the US was on the right track until he became president and set us back about one hundred years

People who are in their twenties and still make fun of people who “peaked” in high school are still just insecure and jealous of what they missed out on. Like have some fun and get drunk w former lax players and stop having the most rancid vibes on the planet

It actually is hard being not skinny but not fat. Like worst of both worlds tbh

If you buy a car worth more than $35k you’re a fucking idiot being swindled by consumerism

Seriously I cannot stress enough how annoyed I was by Ghost’s music. Like not nearly as cool as I thought it’d be. And I know I have taste

[perlivehac1975-blog]

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[930club]

9:30 INTERVIEW: Chris Thile of Punch Brothers

Punch Brothers’ new album, All Ashore, has been described by mandolinist Chris Thile as "a meditation on committed relationships in the present day, particularly in the present climate." He continues, "we were hoping to create something that would be convincing as a complete thought, in this case as a nine-movement, or nine-piece, thought. Though it's rangy in what it's talking about, and in the characters who are doing the talking." We asked Thile some questions about the album and more ahead of their upcoming show at The Anthem.

Jon Chen [9:30 Club]: So, I was a pretty big fan of your newest album— I saw how it kind of kept in step with The Phosphorescent Blues. I felt like they were both sort of meditative takes on some nuanced aspect of society. The Phosphorescent Blues was about connection in an increasingly digital age, and All Ashore being about more committed relationships. I was wondering, who do you try to reach with these albums, and is there a common link in what you try to communicate?

Chris Thile [Punch Brothers]: I think both records share a yearning for a deep connection, or a feeling that there’s some sort of salvation in forging a lasting connection with another human being, or that there’s a salvation or an antidote to the malaise of our times. In a way, looking back at The Phosphorescent Blues, I almost wish those were our problems still: just railing against a life of distraction or never being fully present in any one moment. If there’s a silver lining to everything going on right now, it’s that I think people seem a little more engaged than before all this stuff that’s happening, between Brexit, and Trump, and this sort of creeping— although I guess it’s not really even creeping anymore— this advancing nationalism, which seems to be something of a global phenomenon. It definitely has gotten our attention, so I do think those records are thematically related, although not directly or intentionally. I think in All Ashore, stakes have been raised, on a macro level as human beings, and also on a micro level for us as bandmates, in that we’re having children now: two out of five of us have kids, myself included; three out of five of us are married, and everyone’s in a committed relationship. The record is very much a product of the times, as is Phosphorescent Blues, and I guess that’s the main connection, that they’re both records of their respective times. I think especially now, you’re seeing a whole lot of that; I think artists can’t really ignore what’s going on right now, our work is fairly consumed by it.

Absolutely. I think all of you have kind of been in different projects, living in different cities, being in committed relationships. And somehow in spite of this, I felt like All Ashore really showed signs of growth as a band: I thought you guys seemed tighter, and I felt closer to the message you guys conveyed through the writing. Maybe it was a result of hearing your music that was a product of the times. I was wondering, how have you managed to keep growing as a band while being so far apart?

I think everyone’s growing as musicians individually, and Punch Brothers takes up less of the year since its inception. You know, these days people becoming family men, myself becoming the host of this radio show [Live From Here], the band sorta just has less “acreage.” I actually think that may have brought us closer together creatively because when we’re together, there’s this sense of urgency, and this necessity of focusing on getting the job done in maybe less time than we’ve had before. There’s also this real joy and refreshment and affirming aspect of being in a band— it’s a treat now to work together, which is a pretty crazy thing to say twelve years into a collaboration. Every time we get together to put together new music, or deliver to the people who are interested in it, it’s just taken on a new identity. To maybe put it more simply, I think we know what we have now, since we’ve taken more time away from it, and every time we get to do it, we are fully engaged.

Wow. I’ve often been fascinated by how as a band, your actual instrumentation is, you know, officially “bluegrass-y,” but you often borrow from pop, rock, classical, and other repertoire. What makes you want to pursue this genre-bending, and how does it inform your songwriting and composition?

The main thing for me is that the string band is kind of what my bandmates and I understand the best, just texturally. So that’s what we’re going to use, it’s what we understand. I almost feel like the genre discussion is a discussion of medium, like an artist might use pencils, or watercolors, or oils, or whatever. That’s how I feel about the bluegrass ensemble; me saying, “I play in a bluegrass ensemble,” is like saying, “I work primarily with oil.” But that doesn’t give you any more information than that. If I say, “Yeah, we play bluegrass instruments,” I have given you no more information than if an artist says, “I paint with oil.” You can think of that, but as far as what we’re gonna paint, you have absolutely no clue yet. For me, when a musician says “I play ____,” that’s how I take it. “So, what do you paint?” would be my next question. A lot of times I think people maybe assume something, like how we play bluegrass instruments, and all of a sudden what you’ve heard before on bluegrass instruments is popping up in your ears. So, we’re not interested in that, not because we don’t love it, but because it’s already been done. And so, I think most musicians or artists, that’s kind of where they’re coming from: you love what has been made well. You don’t wanna do it because it’s already been done well; you wouldn’t be doing your job if you just did something the way someone else did it.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Genres are just labels to a lot of us, and as an artist I guess you wouldn’t want to constrain yourself to that.

Yeah. It’s not that it’s not important— it is, the choice to paint with a specific kind of medium is a choice worth talking about and thinking about. But I would just always encourage people to think of it like that: there’s still a lot of questions to be asked after the question of genre.

Totally makes sense. Kind of along the same lines, your last tour was the American Acoustic tour where you kind of represented a lot of American folk music. I’m wondering, what do you think the future of American folk music is?

I guess I think that all music is folk music— any music made by humans. That tour was a celebration of this medium of acoustic instruments, but it was also something to give people a vague idea of the aesthetic that they were in for. To talk about where acoustic music is headed… I do think people kind of think acoustic music is synonymous with folk music and that they’re one and the same. That’s fine with me, just a question of semantics, all of which is interesting, but again, doesn’t tell the whole story. I think that acoustic music is headed in precisely the direction we’re aiming this conversation, which is forward, forward, forward. What are we going to do now that we’ve made this textural decision? How do we justify our existence as artists, I think, is the question. The way that you justify is by doing something that is both new and useful. Doing something new is pretty easy. I could just play an old fiddle tune on stage, and, I don’t know, rip the stuffing out of a plush giraffe, and that would be new, nobody would’ve ever done that before. But is it useful? No. Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I would argue that’s not terribly useful. The fiddle tune might be useful, but again, a lot of people have already done that. Again, that’s not to decry purely doing something new— doing something useful by definition is of use— but I think we all have to concern ourselves with doing something useful and new. I think that’s what most of my peers, I hear them striving to do, that’s what I’m trying to do, and certainly what Punch Brothers is trying to do — make something new and useful.

And it sounds like you’re doing it well! Going back to American Acoustic, which ended almost exactly a year ago, you were on stage then with a lot of your most frequent collaborators, and it had kind of a “Punch Brothers and Friends” kind of feel. Your All Ashore tour seems like, though Madison Cunningham will be joining for a large part of it, the tour will be a much more intimate gathering of the band members. Would you say this tour will carry a different tone than the last tour?

Yeah, for sure. Madison, first of all, is incredible. She’ll be opening for us, there hasn’t been a “collaboration” as of yet, it’s more of a traditional concert experience. I absolutely feel like it’s a pretty intimate experience, like the boys and I are inviting you to a small gathering at our favorite bar. It’s like we’re there to escape, and then to discuss what we’re escaping from, and I think that’s kind of how a lot of small intimate social gatherings are functioning right now. You’re looking to escape the cares of the day, which are many, and many of them are shared. You have a lot of mutual cares right now with human beings, like climate change, how divided we are as a country and world, and a lot of stuff that’s really happening to us as a people right now, not in the abstract. They’re serious, life-affecting issues, and we’re all experiencing them. The record is also about how these kinds of issues are affecting our daily lives. For example, the record starts at the micro level with this small, new-ish family, and kind of ends with humanity, in “Like It’s Going Out Of Style” as something of a mantra. It takes a pretty major political detour as well, which basically all conversations are doing right now. That’s kind of where this record is, as the second round is hitting the table at a good cocktail bar, amongst close friends, and the conversations that arise at that moment.

I think that sounds really great, and I think The Anthem is going to be a really special place for that to happen. I’m excited to see what you think of it.

Yes, my first time there!

My last question is: what’s next for Punch Brothers?

The boys and I are more committed than ever to forging ahead as a creative entity. I think the experience making and now disseminating All Ashore has just underlined this project’s importance in our respective lives, and I think we’re presenting a pretty unified front, and want to continue to. We’re already starting to talk about what the next project will be, and have some ideas. I think whatever it is, it’s going to be ambitious, is the best I could give. It’ll be fun.

-Jonathan Chen

Tickets for Punch Brothers at The Anthem are available here. 

[aka-willow]

Recruitment

gif

Words: 844

Characters: Willow Wren, Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Willow trains with Natasha one more time before the spy heads to Vienna

Timeline: June 2016

Song: A New Recruit - Henry Jackman

A/N: hi guys what’s up

—————————————————————————–

“You’re not focusing,” Natasha said as I got knocked down again, my head slamming into the training mats and my wings absorbing the impact. “Up. Again.”

I sighed and got up, wincing as my abs burned from the workout the day before. It wasn’t even light out yet, but Natasha was leaving for the signing of the Accords that morning, and she never let me miss a day of training. “I know I can do it,” I said, frustrated.

“Prove it, then.”

I got back into the stance and we started again, me on defense, as I tried to fight off the next attack. I was still defaulting to HYDRA’s training, years of it etched into my muscle memory, always on the offense, whatever the cost. I wondered where Dr. Turner was now, if she or HYDRA would find out about the enhanced registration, if they—

Slam!

I was knocked on my ass again, my legs kicked out from under me, my tailbone slamming into the blue mat. “Shit!”

Natasha sighed as she looked down at me; she hadn’t even broken a sweat. “Distracted. Again.”

“I know,” I muttered. “I know.” Through the window, the sun just began to peek over the trees, clearing the dew and fog that had settled on the grounds overnight. I laid back on the mat for a moment to catch my breath.

“You have to remove all emotions from the fight,” Natasha lectured. “None of it matters at that moment. Whatever you’re thinking about, I promise it’s not more important than staying alive.” She checked the time on the tablet sitting on the bench. “We have to call it here for today. Come on. I told Rhodey I would get inventory done before leaving.”

“Inventory for…?”

“Secretary Ross wants to know what we have stored in our arsenal.”

Of course he does. I had to walk double-time just to keep up with her on the way to the warehouse, just a few steps behind. The Avengers Facility was still quiet at this time in the morning, Steve gone, Wanda and Rhodey asleep, Sam out running. Vision and Tony had set up in the workshop after Tony arrived, and something told me they were still working there this morning. We crossed through the main foyer and through the double doors outside, across the dewy grass. The air was already warming up, the hum of summer bugs already starting. Summer. It’s summer now. I’ve been here since March.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen our storage before,” I said as Natasha unlocked the door.

We started in the back of the warehouse, me reading labels off crates and counting the ones that matched, sometimes asking questions about what I was seeing, while Natasha took notes on the tablet. We worked mostly in silence though, our voices echoing off the metal containers.

“What are these?” I asked as Natasha opened one of the crates to examine what was inside. They were small disks, a little smaller than the palm of my hand.

“Micro EMP emitters,” Natasha said. “Press the button and they disable electronics within a five-foot radius. Useful for locks, weapons, things like that. Close that up?”

She handed me the lid and just before I put it back on and let it lock, I snuck my hand into the container and slipped one out against my palm, closing the container in the same motion, the locking mechanism covering any noise that my motion made. It was cold in my hand, heavier than I expected, and when Natasha turned to read a label, I slipped it into my pocket. I gotta try one of these out.

“I’ll be back by Thursday night,” Natasha said as we finished up inventory and I waited outside as she locked up the warehouse. “I sent you tasks to get done while Steve and I are gone. If you need anything, you can ask Vision.” She paused for a moment to think. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not going to do anything stupid,” I said. We had talked the night after the Accords had been presented to the Avengers. She hadn’t sugarcoated anything, but maybe I preferred it that way. “This will change things. But you’re a big girl and you have to face these things head-on. Like an adult. And that means that we sometimes have to compromise.”

I think she thought she had convinced me, and I wished she had. I tried reaching out to the Lab Rats again. I did readings on the Sokovia Accords. Part of me felt I had to get out again. That afternoon, I secretly began to pack, just in case. The real test is going to be how you plan to get out of here. There’s surveillance everywhere, someone’s always watching. And even if you get out, where would you go? They’ll search New York, Boston, anywhere you’ve ever known. You won’t be able to fly away fast enough.

I’d stick around a little longer, for now. No one was coming to take me yet.

[deneg631]

Weekly Self-Directed Tasks of Term 2 So Far.

Week 1

The previous assignment has become the task of week 1, which has already been posted.

Week 2

Week 2′s SDL was to create a video profile on Microsoft teams, but I could not get it right, therefore I did not do it.

Week 3

This week’s activity was to recreate an online space with in-real-life materials, so I have decided to try and recreate this painting by Anotonello da Messina, called Madonna and Child.

Week 4

This week’s self-directed was to work around character development. Part one is finding an example of an online personality and to answer the questions, and part 2 is based around answering questions about our collaborated persona. I have added the entirety of the task below:

#1. PART 1 - Online personality example: The Jester -  A grey hat hacker, hacktivist.

-What is driving them emotionally?

wrong -doings of people, such as terrorists, homophobic sites and leaders in the wrong.

 -What do they hope for?

To eradicate or eliminate sites that allow these illegal/wrong doings to take place. I.e to serve justice in an illegal way because it is the only way to get justice in that case.

 -What do they want?

To teach the bad guys a lesson and give warnings where applicable. 

 -What do they need? 

Support in their cause.

 -Are they dealing with any conflict or obstacles?

Yes, the way The Jester handles things are kind of illegal, so he has that obstacle.

#2. PART 2 - Based on our persona: (please not that part 2 is based on collaborative answering) 

-What is driving them emotionally?

Their loneliness and dark personalities.

 -What is their greatest hope?

To instill freight/ haunt people, to share their dark personalities on a wide spectrum/social media.

 -What do they want?

{same as above}

-What do they need?

To not be judged, to be accepted as they are.

 #3. PART 2 CONTINUED - How will you create your persona: 

-What media will you use - i.e.photography, video, animation, drawing, etc.

Instagram (social media platform)

Camera (photography and exploration with video/gifs)

 -How is your character represented?

As grimm, dark characters with haunting aspects to their personalities.

-Will one or both of you stand in for this/these online personas?

Both of us, WE ARE A TEAM! We will both find a person to create this 2 person persona.

-Will you use objects? Will you use something else?

Yes: animal skulls; studio background/natural surrounding backgrounds; candles; lights etc. the ideas are not limited.

Week 5

For SDL this week, we had to create a style guide, I have attached a scan of the style guide created, as well below that I have written the rest of the task that involved Research about Visual consistency and online consideration.

VISUAL CONSISTENCY  

“Visual consistency:

Similar elements that are perceived the same way make up the visual consistency. It increases learnability of the product. Fonts, sizes, buttons, labeling and similar need to be consistent across the product to keep visual consistency.”  (Anton Niklov, 2017).

You can maintain a consistency through the use of consistent visuals (images, colours, typography etc.) and by making sure that the tone and voice used are consistent (stick with one voice). It is also good to ‘bend’ consistency, by being consistent enough but still slightly different, but make sure not to break your consistency by being totally different every now and then.

Anton Nikolov, “Design principle: Consistency”, UX Collective, 2017, accessed May 28, 2020, from https://uxdesign.cc/design-principle-consistency-6b0cf7e7339f.

Maintaining consistency on a social media persona:

Step 1 = create a social media style guide. This is because a style guide is basically the brand guide for your persona, it ensures that there are specific guidelines that you relate your persona’s material to for a consistent facade.

Step 2 = Choosing your tone. Whilst this has been decided in your stye guide, it is important to acknowledge that the language is clear and maintained throughout your social media persona, and that the tone conveys what you wish to portray, for example, the tone should be able to convey whether r not your persona is old or young or a warm or cold persona.

Step 3 = Focus on your imagery. An image is like a logo, it represents your persona just like the logo represents a business. It is important to maintain a consistency in your imagery as to uphold your persona’s character and vibes.  

Steve Glauberman, “Many Platforms, One Voice: How to Maintain a Consistent Social Media Persona”, Content Marketing Institute, 2012, accessed May 28, 2020, from https://contentmarketinginstitute.com/2012/05/how-to-maintain-a-consistent-social-persona/.

ONLINE CONSIDERATION:

3 Key Considerations for Social Media Success:

Never Compromise on Social Engagement. It is the right time to stop using shortcuts to win the online engagement such as encouraging followers to follow and like etc. Start using better and more creative engagement strategies to engage your current and potential followers.

The Influencer Market is Rising More Than Ever. Smaller businesses might look at suitable ‘micro-influencers’ because well known influencers might be out of their budget range. This is saying that is you build up you social media community to a big enough platform that you could potentially be approached by a small business to become an influencer. This would be more achievable if your profile fits the businesses considerations and that of their target audience.  

Leverage Social Media for Sales Enablement. “Today, social media plays a huge role in helping people find the best products/services that they are looking for. Social media allows you to tell your story and let people make their own inference. Once someone finds a product/service, it’s you who needs to provide a smooth experience.”  This is basically saying that if your persona is able to be an influencer that you could use that as leverage to make a bit of money whilst using your persona to successfully share the businesses products/services.

Rahis Saifi, “3 Key Considerations for Social Media Success”, Socialnomics, 2019, accessed May 28, 2020, from https://socialnomics.net/2019/12/14/3-key-considerations-for-social-media-success/.

5 Ways Social Media Impacts Consideration:

1. Research. “Allowing user ratings and reviews on your product site, which can be moderated for abuse, can be a very effective way to engage in user generated content without the open-ended risk”

2. Validation. “Consumers can use social platforms to validate or refute information easily with their social graphs or through searching.”

3. Creating an Emotional Connection. “Personalized stories of real customers can also be a way to build an emotional connection.”

4. Creating Touchpoints. “How many brand touchpoints and impressions does it take to impact consideration? I'm not sure, but chances are that it's more than one. An impression or interaction in social media can be measured in a lot of ways”

5. Search. “Discussions related to a brand in social networks, discussion boards, forums, and on brand-owned assets will impact search results when a consumer starts to look for information.”

Adam Cohen, “5 Ways Social Media Impacts Consideration”, Social Media Today, 2010, accessed May 28, 2020, from https://www.socialmediatoday.com/content/5-ways-social-media-impacts-consideration.

[tessatechaitea]

Dark Nights: Batman the Drowned #1

I can't wait to find out how Bruce Wayne got such a fantastic pair of tits.

"This is my wish! And I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back!"

The explanation for Bruce Wayne having magnificent tits occurs in a brief Narration Box where Aquabat thinks, "The gender roles are reversed here." I used the word "explanation" incorrectly in the last sentence. By saying the gender roles are reversed, does he mean the people who are women on Earth-Negative-Guys-With-Awesome-Tits are men on Earth-Main-Earth? Does that explain why he's a woman named Bruce? Or is he a man but men on Earth-Negative-Guys-With-Awesome-Tits would be considered women on Earth-Main-Earth? Am I using the correct pronoun for Aquabat? I can't tell because is being a woman actually considered being a man from his Dark Earth? Is that what he means by the gender roles being reversed"? My boner is super confused right now! Oh! Everything becomes clear when the flashback happens and this is taking place on Earth-Negative-Eleven and also when I check back to the panel I scanned to see that Bruce Wayne is actually called Bryce Wayne. Is Bryce a non-gender specific name? Is any name, in this day and age, non-gender specific?! Down with parental labels that force a person (and others!) into seeing them as a specific gender! That's the fight we should be fighting! Also maybe the fight against circumcision. Can that be a major fight too? Hello? Anybody? Babies being mutilated here! Anyway, now I have a question. If the Batman on Earth-Main-Earth is the Batman that Barbatos is obsessed with, why are all these Dark Earths, created by Earth-Main-Earth Batman's dark thoughts, not versions of Earth-Main-Earth? Oh wait! I have an answer to my question! Because Batjoker is actually the Dark Version of Earth-Main-Earth Batman. He just happened to recruit other versions of Dark Multiverse Batman before coming to the main universe. So Aquabat wasn't created from a stray thought of Earth-Main-Earth Batman. She was created by a stray thought from gender bent Earth-11 Batman! Okay, everything is straight now! Oh, I didn't mean that to sound like a micro-aggression! I just meant everything was back to normal! Oh man. That was a micro-aggression too, wasn't it? I just reiterated my implication that straight is normal! Batwoman on Earth-Negative-Eleven decided to kill all the bad guys just like the Batperson on all the other negative Earths. Apparently that's Batman's constant dark thought on every world in which he exists. He just goes around thinking, "Why don't I just kill all of these assholes? Stupid Bat-Rules." On this world, he killed them all because they killed his lover Catman. Not that Catman! Differently gendered Selina Kyle! His name was Sylvester Kyle and my boner is disappointed that Catwoman had to get the gender bent treatment. I want to see Bryce and Selina make out. And yes that means I want to co-opt their lesbianism for my own heterosexual turn-ons! We can't all be saints!

Is the trident regarded as a phallic weapon or am I picturing dicks incorrectly?

I know I have a lot of fun attacking bad writers and artists in a hyperbolic way but whenever I hear Jim Lee give an interview, I feel bad about complaining about his scribbles all over the art he does. I genuinely like Jim Lee so much that it makes me hate myself for every time I critiqued a piece of his art that I didn't care for. Even though my hyperbolic rants are meant to be taken as the over-the-top ridiculous rantings of a rabid comic book fan, I know many people take this shit seriously instead of absorbing the whimsical feeling I have while while writing it. And since I like Jim Lee so much, I have to confront the fact that I might even like Scott Lobdell or (God forbid!) Cullen Bunn! Maybe I should stop being so mean? I mean so directly mean! I can be indirectly mean by making fun of the comic book and specific pieces of art that I scan because there's something wrong with them (like the way every colorist always fucks up the stripes in the American flag)! What I'm trying to say is this: "Jim Lee, I love you and I wish you were my father." So Bryce transformed herself into Aquabat to defeat all of the Atlanteans on Earth-Negative-Eleven. You know the story from the past Dark Nights books. Batperson wins but still can't save the world. Batjoker arrives with the shuttle to Earth-Main-Earth. Everybody rides the train to funkytown. Earth-Main-Earth suffers horribly because the Justice League are terrible at saving the lives of people who don't get to be characters in the comic book. It seems it's okay to kill thousands of people nowadays and still finish the story with the idea that the good guys somehow won. Aquabat turns Mera into one of its drowned henchman and then Doctor Fate saves Aquaman. Couldn't he have gotten there a bit sooner and saved Mera too? Or just saved Mera, really. Nobody cares about Aquaman. Dark Nights: Batman the Drowned #1 Rating: Apparently I'm reading a different comic book than all of the comic book review sites on the Internet. According to the advertisement for Metal in this issue, other reviewers are saying embarrassing things like "Like a good guitar lick, it'll melt your face off." Who writes that and thinks it's clever? Worse, who reads that and thinks it's clever enough to be used as a review blurb?! Here's another good one because it shows they know all about the metal music genre: "Just hold on tight and ride the lightning." Since it's an Internet quote, I'm surprised they weren't asking us to ride the "lightening." It's as if these reviewers heard about the concept of this comic series and wrote their reviews on that! Because I agree with the review that said "one of the most viscerally exciting comics series to kick off this year." But I only agreed with it before I read all of these tie-in Dark Nights books! And I only agreed with it before I had to actually think about most of Scott Snyder's plot points! I mean, I still agree with it in that I love this kind of comic book shit! And I'll love it even when it's not as good as I was hoping it would be. It's just that I can't bring myself to laud something in this way simply because it gets the comic book nerd inside me erect. I expect the writing to give me that same visceral feeling! It's just that it never does. Especially these fucking Dark Knight Origin Stories that are all basically the same. I think to write the kind of glowing reviews that Internet comic book lovers write, I need to just read the comic book without writing about it, not think about it while I'm not writing about it, somehow maintain a boner through whatever means necessary while reading it (to, you know, keep my interest and keep some of the blood out of my brain), and then talk about it with a really stupid friend who can't get enough of all the comic books. Then maybe I'd walk away thinking, "That was fucking awesome!" It's also possible I'm simply dead inside.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I've been meaning to write about it at length at some point... but every time I start there are just so many avenues to go down that I get distracted researching one thing or another, discussing one thing or another, weighing up my beliefs on one thing or another. It reminds me of studying physics in college, and talking about the desire for one succinct theory, one simple equation, that explains everything... yet being stuck with the massive jumble of things that make up quantum physics, relativity, forces on several different scales, and so on. The world around us on the macro scale doesn't behave or appear in a way that seems even remotely compatible with how we know it to exist on the micro scale.

My simple rules for existing in the world at large - be nice, live and let live, look after myself - aren't simple answers when I get down to the complexities of politics and social politics, and I have to answer each of the questions that arises in those arenas on a very case by case basis, suddenly needing to care about studies, trends, whether the good of the many outweighs the good of the outliner, and whether something that upsets someone initially is better for them in the long run. Sometimes the answers become a war between pragmatic, objective thinking and my morals. "Right" can mean "moral" or "correct", and sometimes right in one sense is not right in the other, sometimes there is no right answer at all, sometimes multiple answers are right in their own ways.

So I end up trying to come up with a "theory of everything", a label for my politics, and there isn't one, and to express each individual belief I have to go into detail on what informed that belief, and it becomes an exhausting process trying to explain where I stand and why - to people who I know will put me in a box that I've already ruled out and judge me by the label on that box.

A part of me wishes that I could go back to the days of not thinking about these things on that new level - the days when "just be nice to people" was all I needed to answer when I asked myself "how will I make the world a better place?"; to the days when a person's status as transgender or not, and if/when/how they should proceed with transition, was a decision to be made between them and their doctor, and not a worldwide debate; to the days when saying "I'm bisexual" meant "I like people of all/both genders/sexes" rather than an invitation to discuss whether "bisexual" or "pansexual" was the appropriate term, or whether those dating the opposite sex/gender were valid; to the days when "I'd rather not say how I voted" was met with "fair enough" instead of accusations of you being their perceived enemy. I know that the days when I could hold a position or a personality trait without it being driven to politics were more a symptom of youth and the friends I had, and were only partially influenced by the growing popularity of online discourse and political engagement, but I still miss those few short years.

Political discourse is dividing, exhausting, radicalizing and scaring people. There are people who think that political disagreement means that you think that they don't exist, aren't valid, are disgusting, or that you won't be kind and respectful to them on the larger scale because you disagree with something they think or something about them on the metaphorical molecular scale. There are people who genuinely will be nasty and hurtful to you because they disagree with something you think or something about you on that scale. There are people so wrapped up in politics that they think that it's okay to tell people to kill themselves because of the colour of their skin, who they want to date, which pronouns they use, which genitalia they have, how they feel about the validity of certain identities, who they voted for, what fictional characters they think make a cute couple, and so on. There are people so wrapped up in politics that they've already decided which colour I'm talking about, which preferences I'm talking about, which pronouns I'm talking about, which genitalia I'm talking about, which identities I'm talking about and which feelings they have towards them, which candidate I'm talking about, and which fictional characters. On any particular topic, there are people on every side treating their perceived enemy inhumanely, all while reading posts like this and thinking "it's my enemy that does that".

The internet has become a minefield. There's people doxxing and sending gore and sending things to trigger epileptic seizures and making fake call-out posts... everything is an argument that nobody intends to de-escalate. It's seeping into real life. There's veritable armies fighting in the streets with makeshift weapons. There's tension at family gatherings when everybody's afraid to speak. There's friends that feel comfortable shouting and screaming, cutting you out, spreading rumours, because you left or liked the wrong page, said the wrong word, or just because they don't like you and they know exactly how to make others dislike you too.

I understand the feeling that how the world sees you, what laws are passed, what societal structures are dismantled, is the be all and end all, is imperative to your existence, and that anyone who disagrees with you on some level is a threat to your comfort and doesn't respect you as an individual. I understand feeling like there's a looming danger and things to save. But in the grand scheme of things, in the scale that we live our day to day lives in, this is doing more harm than good. This is affecting people's mental and physical health.

~ Vape

[depressionkat-blog]

Friends?

So I just re-used an old tumblr blog to pen down my thoughts on depression. Actually, I am not sure if I even have depression. Would it be more comforting to be diagnosed with depression rather than to solve an unknown problem? 

So what is depressionkat? Maybe using the moniker depressionkat is bad, because that is self-labelling myself as depressed, and of course when you believe you are depressed, you start acting depressed. But whatever.

depressionkat (small d) is a cat who is kinda depressed. How did it even start? As a wee little kitten, depressionkat would lie in bed, pondering about the meaning of life. If all we ever feel is sadness and suffering, surely there must be a purpose. Would depressionkat be able to change the world? 

But depressionkat felt despondent about that hope. depressionkat felt sad and lonely most of the time. It didn’t help that momma and popa cat weren’t around very often, moma cat was busy working while popa cat didn’t even live in the same home... that is another story for another day. 

In school, depressionkat envied the others who seemed cheerful and smiley and pretty and had a lot of friends and had many wonderful hobbies. Of course ruminating about all of that did not help. depressionkat felt inferior in every aspect. Whenever depressionkat walked up to the mirror, depressionkat would think, why do I look so terrible with little shifty eyes and length awkward arms and rough fur everywhere, I don’t look like a proper cat, I don’t think anyone would want me. Sometimes the thoughts got so bad that depressionkat just cried, whether it stemmed from poor grades or feeling ugly or anything at all. It caused the class to call her ‘crybaby’. 

It’s not like depressionkat had no friends, depressionkat started a blog, a comic, and a storybook with a few of them, writing/drawing and passing them around class. It was one of the only times depressionkat felt that she truly felt at peace and belonged with the rest of them. She loved it when the classmates laughed and smiled and asked for more sequels and continuations. But that didn’t help her to feel that they were close friends at all. There were the times where there were birthday parties and she wasn’t invited. There were the times that the teacher orders the kids to line up in twos and she had no partner. There were the times where she didn’t know what to say exactly to make friends. There were the times she was sick and no one messaged her to ask how are you. Those times stung badly and again depressionkat was reminded that she had no true friend to stick with. The world is a lonely place to be in. 

Luckily, depressionkat was hardworking and fortunate enough to be in a family with adequate financial resources. The numerous tuitions and ‘learning camps’ and ‘enrichment’ helped depressionkat to adopt positive study habits and discipline. Even though depressionkat felt sad most of the time, she told herself to stop being sad or angry. Hence her results were pretty good, while not the best, it was always among the upper percentile. At least she was smart enough. 

To be fair, depressionkat wasn’t always sad. The times punctuated with happiness included: going over to the neighbours’ and playing video games, reading books, drawing and talking to self about a fantasy world, writing guides for Pokemon, neopets or any other online games depressionkat chanced upon. All these activities passed the time, allowing her to tide over the day and forgetting about sadness for a moment. The internet was a safe place, where no one could know how ugly or lonely she was in real life. Plus she felt proficient in using computers, as there was this class in primary school where the teacher would instruct the kids on how to use certain programs, and depressionkat would be one of the first few to finish the task at hand. 

When depressionkat was moving on to the next phase of education, she vowed that she had to become a new version of herself. The old depressionkat was gone. The new depressionkat was going to be popular, pretty, and smart. So she avoided going to the secondary school where most of her primary school friends had gone to, and went into one where everyone else was new. It was going to be a new start. 

Even though depressionkat had more friends, she still felt horrible. It was not what she had expected. Most of the times spent together was so routine and boring - just grabbing some Burger King, Starbucks or 7-11 Mashed Potatoes and Slurpee. Where were the sleepovers and actual fun activities, the things she saw on high-school movies? I guess it was ok, but I wish it could be better. I still felt the tinge of loneliness whenever the teacher asks us to line up in pairs, because the cliques tend to be in even numbers, I seemed to be the odd one out... not sure who to pair with. 

But overall it was better. She bonded with her new-found friends over nerdy things like anime, coding on blogskins.com, and of course blogging on blogger.com. The one thing she remembered fondly was the times rushing home from school to grind on maplestory with one of her friends, playing until the wee hours of night. In a span of one month of intense playing, she managed to level her character to 107. She even managed to get a certificate for high level of computer proficiency, as well as code Flash sites and MINDSTORM robots. That is so.. nerdy.

School was still pretty easy (ie. other than homework, there was still time to pursue mundane hobbies/time-wasting activities) so depressionkat managed to enter into a class with triple Science and Additional Mathematics. It was a bit sad because she had barely any old friends in her new class, but she re-assured herself that it was gonna be ok. 

That was when her life began to change drastically. She found an online community where lots of ah-lians and ah-bengs resided. Feeling lonely and craving for excitement in her nerdy life, she reached out to them and met up to play in the arcades and hang out, go to clubs and smoke. She quit her ‘nerdy cca’. And a lot of bad things happened then. 

There was this time where she was sending out a micro-tweetlike-message on the site. Suddenly she was meeting up some guy, who was her then ‘stead’s friend, at his place. It was her first time. His home was filled with foreign people like his aunties and what not. She didn’t know what to do. He offered her some respite in his room so she obliged. 

And then the bad thing happened. A game of ‘truth or dare’. The dare was... taking out of clothes. I don’t remember much of it, except intense crying and begging to let me out. Eventually the guy relented and I fled the block, ran to the bus-stop and continued crying, texting my ‘stead’ about what had just happened. My ‘stead’s gang walloped the guy (who was also part of their gang) for the gang no-no of ‘stealing yo girl’. 

That wasn’t the end of the drama and the bad company. But she felt popular. She felt wanted. She felt pretty with a little eyeliner on. She loved drinking because she felt good at it. There was the high and excitement in the life that she had craved. There was all the typical girl drama of getting boys, cheating on boys, getting found out, losing friends over getting found out, being sad and crying for days on end on the floor, wanting the boy back. 

At this point, depressionkat’s grades plummeted down and she almost could not be promoted, but miraculously scraped by. It was a harsh wakeup call. At this point depressionkat’s looks also started to become worse, the acne had flared up due to stress and aggravation from a malicious facial company. Her scalp became so unbearably oily. Stop being depressed over boys, your ‘O’ levels are next year and you’re failing almost everything other than English. No more boys, no more social media, just study. The daily routine became something like this: wake up and attend school plus extra classes from 6am to 4pm. Go for tuition from 6pm to 8pm. Do homework from 9 to 11 or even 12/1am. 

The efforts paid off eventually and depressionkat’s grades improved so much, that she got a ‘Most Improved!’ award from the school :’) She could go anywhere she wanted. What did she want? 

Perhaps writing? Maybe journalism. She loved writing so much (as you can tell from this really long post). 

Perhaps design? She loved drawing, and more so she discovered she loved digital design from the photoshop and html/css she did for school and her own personal hobbies.

With that regard, depressionkat’s goals was to enter a course for Mass Communication. She knew that course was perfect, she could write eloquently, she could dabble in web-design and collateral design, and maybe even DJ (not the remixing kind, but the ones in the radio station!)

But depressionkat soon got intrigued by psychology. Having such a (self-proclaimed) depressing past, she wanted to know what to do to get better. So she enrolled in psychology instead.

Bad move. 

(I will detail about this in a future post!)