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rendy-a · 1 year

Note

Hi.

I love reading ‘A Blooming Romance’ that you did. Can I request a similar situation but with Riddle, Silver and Deuce?

Hope you have a good day❤️

Thank you for the request. I’m so glad that you’ve enjoyed my flower piece enough to ask for more. I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

Another Blooming Romance

Forget-me-nots: Faithful love, undying hope, memories

You see Riddle pick up the package of stationary from his mail slot and turn it over. He fingers the delicate blue blossoms lightly. “Prefect,” he calls to you, “do you know who sent this to me?” Of course you do, it was you but you don’t intend to tell him that. “Ah, no. I didn’t see anyone come in with that.” You lie so smoothly that the dorm leader doesn’t question you. He purses his lips and regards the package one last time, “Forget-me-nots. How shall I remember them when I don’t even know who they are?” He does not wait for an answer but turns sharply and walks from the mail room with a sharp click of his heels echoing along the corridor.

You felt a brief wave of guilt for having been dishonest with Riddle. Ah, Riddle. You smile as you think of the studious dorm leader of Heartslabyul. You had admired his determination, both in class and with his personal growth, seeking out ways to become closer to his dorm students. You’d watched from the sidelines as the earnest dorm leader had become more friendly with Ace and Deuce; but not much with you. Not that he was rude, it was just that you had limited reason to interact outside of the few brief moments you might cross paths; mostly in the common room of Heartslabyul when you visited your first-year friends.

So, it was a relief when Crowley placed another odd job on your shoulders; to sort and deliver the school mail. You might think that a magical place like Twisted Wonderland would have magical mail service but surprisingly, you set out each morning from Ramshackle with a cart to the front gate to collect a bin of letters from a postal worker. Then you hauled the load back to the main campus building where there was a small room filled with numbered cubbies for each student to receive mail. You had struggled at first to learn the system but, over time, you’d gotten the hang of the organization. You could now quickly tell from a letter what section it belonged to (the second for Savanahclaw) and what rows (sixth through eighth for a second year) and sort your mail out before classes even began.

You never did though. Crowley had given you permission to miss the first period study hall and attend to your mail delivery duties instead. By lingering all period long, you’d discovered you had the opportunity to be in the mail room after first period when HE arrived. Riddle lived by a schedule so consistent that you could set your watch to it. Every school day, he arrived five minutes after the end of first period to collect his mail. It was the highlight of your day. You watched him with a secret smile as he entered the small space and ran his gaze along the rows of cubbies, searching out his box. Riddle was always polite to you, greeting you properly each day.

“Good morning, Prefect.” Riddle greets you with a small smile. “Good morning, Dorm Leader Rosehearts,” you greet him in return. You aren’t as close as you’d hope but each day you try to learn a little more about him. “How is the rose-painting going? I hope Ace and Deuce haven’t slacked off on you!” Riddle gives you a long-suffering sigh, “I wish my own dorm students were as hard-working as you, Prefect. We could certainly use some of that spirit when preparing for an Unbirthday Party.”

He hadn’t exactly said he wanted your help but he also hadn’t said NOT to help either. Only, you pondered throughout the day, how could a magic-less student possibly assist a great mage like Riddle? The answer had come a day later when Riddle had off-handedly commented on the need to go to the school shop on the weekend to replenish his stock of stationary. He lamented the need to delay until the weekend, at all times preferring to accomplish tasks with utmost promptness, but his busy schedule had not afforded him time for idle shopping until then. You agreed with Riddle that it really was QUITE a shame but secretly were overjoyed at the prospect of finding a way to help out your crush.

On the way back from the school store, you took a short cut through a field of wildflowers and came across some small blue blossoms. Forget-me-nots. You smiled at the little familiar flowers. So, they existed in this world as well. It was like a gentle wish from your past not to forget all of the good moments. On a whim, you pulled up a sprig of flower and tucked it in the wrapping on the stationary. You hoped that Riddle would receive the sentiment as you had, and not forget the good moments you shared together.

That first special delivery had left you conflicted. You’d been too shy to give your gift in person, instead choosing to leave it as a secret admirer. Only, Riddle had seemed so troubled by the idea of receiving a package from an unknown sender. “I don’t understand,” he told you the next day, “why wouldn’t you sign your name so the recipient can properly thank you?” He sounded so forlorn.

“Ah, maybe they are too intimidated to talk to you. You are the one who represents the great spirit of the Queen of Hearts, after all.” You try to encourage Riddle to a better mood but your attempt only makes him frown at you. “Is that how you think of me? Like some unapproachable figure? I’m just a person, Prefect.” You are left gaping at his response as he turned heel and left you alone to contemplate your situation.

Had you mis-stepped? You had not intended to confess to Riddle, but rather to just admire him silently during your morning rendezvous. Are you wrong? Is it selfish of you to leave him wondering about you while you sit on your secret alone? It was a thought that stayed with you all day and into the next. You think about this as you return to the school store. Ace had off-handedly mentioned that Riddle had a torn glove on his riding uniform and you wanted to help him by gifting him a kit to mend it.

On the way back to the mail room for your daily shift, you grab another sprig of forget-me-nots and add them to your gift. Perhaps it was a bit hypocritical of you, but it was your special thing now. You looked sadly at the blooms that represented all your hopes for your relationship and yet knew when you arrived, you’d slide the package into the mail cubby anonymously again.

You waited guiltily until Riddle arrived to pick up his mail, as reliable as always. He sees the package and tenses, an angry expression crossing his face. “Prefect, I though I had made myself clear,” he speaks to you in a heated tone. “Wha…What do you mean?” you ask nervously. He looks at you with a disappointed look, “I live in a dorm with Cater. Did you really think you could keep this secret? Rosaria had been so eager to gossip about it.” You flip your eyes to the painting that hangs across the hall and notice the occupant of said painting was eating up this drama like it was high value entertainment. You suppose that when you are stuck in a painting, any drama is probably high value. Of course, she would have taken the opportunity to mention it to her acquaintance, Cater, and hope for some additional amusement.

You shoot the painted girl an annoyed look and shut the door, depriving her of the satisfaction of a scene. You cast your eyes downward and turn to face the angry Dorm Leader. “I’m sorry Riddle. I just didn’t think it did any harm. I could help out and you could still be free to study and complete your dorm responsibilities. That is all I wanted, just to help.” His brow furrows but his color returns to a normal shade, indicating that while vexed, he was considerably less angry. “All my life, decisions are being made for me. First by my mother and now by you. All I want is to be able to make my own choices for once. Is that too much to ask?”

You gasp and look up at him, shocked by his admission. And really, he was right. This should be his choice. “Riddle,” you shakily start, “I like you. I like you a lot. You are so smart and brave and…and…I just can’t forget you.” Then you bow your head and wait for his response. He lets out a little huff. “Straighten that posture, Prefect.” A hand enters your vision holding the spring of flowers. “Forget you? How can I when I have this?” He gestures for you to take it. You blush and accept the flowers. “Meet me later for tea? Don’t forget.” You flash him a beaming smile and tightly grasp the stem. No, you wouldn’t forget.

Heather: Protection, wishes will come true

There was something about Silver, you thought as you picked a sprig of wild heather and handed it off to a bird. He was charming and kind, just like the princes of fairy tales you’d read as a child. You liked to walk with him on your way to class when you could. He was naturally quiet, so you chattered away at him instead. You once asked him if he minded the way you monopolized the time and he told you that he was actually grateful for your company; it keeps him awake!

Not only was Silver charming, but he was also safe. A magic-less student in a school like NRC attracted a lot of unwelcome attention. Your first week had been a nightmare; students from many dorms had sought you out to gawk at the odd student. Some had done more than gawk; causing you to take more than a few bruises. That was how you’d first met Silver.

“Where are you going little mouse?” mocked the brawny student stalking you. You had ducked into a closet and waited, hoping he’d overlook your hiding spot. You’d hoped in vain. With a sudden jerk, the door flew open. You raised a hand, blocking the light that blinded you, only to have the student grab that hand and use it to pull you out of your hideaway. You’d cowered, waiting for a blow to fall but it never did. When you dared raise your gaze, you’d seen a vision straight from a tale. A silver-haired knight standing between you and your attacker.

And from that day on, that was what he was to you, your Silver knight. His mere presence was enough to intimidate most students and, for those foolish enough to challenge him, his skills proved worthy of his reputation. You still fondly remember the panicked look on that student’s face as he ran down the hall. Silver never gloated though, he only turned to you with that calm look and asked if you were alright. Yes, you thought, you were more than alright.

You handed off another sprig of heather off to a squirrel as you remembered the soft, sleepy look Silver had as he escorted you to class that morning. He had taken it upon himself to guard you in addition to his young master, when he was able. There was little you could do to properly thank him for such a service. One day, you’d asked a small songbird that you felt followed Silver around to deliver a wildflower you plucked to your knight. The bird had given you a proud shake of feathers, as though thrilled to be chosen for such a mission. Then, it took the flower and flown off. When you encountered Silver later, he had tucked the flower behind his ear. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you thought Silver had a small smile upon his somewhat stoic face.

From then on, you took to picking and sending Silver flowers via the cute forest creatures that had befriended him. Rook had come upon you picking flowers one day and joined you. While choosing flowers, he had regaled you with the many meanings of the wildflowers you’d found. One had especially caught your attention. Heather was a perfect flower for your knight. It expressed the appreciation you had for his protection and your secret wishes that you’d manage to someday make him your own Prince Charming. You usually sent a variety of flowers but always included a sprig of heather.

A cold wind tousled your hair and caused you to frown. An owl gave you an inquisitive hoot and you turned to him, “Fall is coming. Soon the last of the wildflowers will be gone.” You hold a flower in your hand and regard it with a melancholy expression. “I’ve sent him these flowers all season long but soon I won’t be able to anymore. I wonder if my feelings will continue to reach him then.” The owl gives you another hoot and you take it as encouragement. “I know, I believe that too.” You smile and hand off the last flower to the owl. “Go and deliver him my flower and love.”

You smiled gently as you watched the owl fly off and then set off back to Ramshackle. You wandered slowly, enjoying the last of the warm weather on your way back. Before making it back to the dorm, you were surprised to hear a fast packed clipping of boots on the cobbled path. It was rare to see other students on this out-of-the-way path. You paused and turned to see who it might be and were surprised to see Silver hurriedly striding your way.

Your heart started pounding; there was little reason to be coming down this path if not to see you. You look at him expectantly and, sure enough, he comes to stand in front of you. “Ah, Silver. I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,” you offer in a questioning tone. He smiles a small sheepish smile and places a hand to his temple. “Mr. Owl gave me your message and I had to come.” You looked at him confused but then noticed the flower in his hair. It was the same one you’d handed to the owl before coming home for the night.

“The…the owl. Right,” you add nervously. You vaguely remember saying some embarrassing things to that owl. Surely, the owl couldn’t have actually TOLD Silver what you’d said, could it? Silver blushes a small amount and pulls the flower from his hair and hands it to you. ��I feel the same.” You only hesitate a moment before accepting the flower. “You, you do?” Silver smiles at you gently. “Yes. I’ve been hoping for you to confess for a while now. Fa..Lilia told me it was best if I waited until you were ready. I’m so glad you finally decided it was time.”

You glance around and see the owl looking at you from a nearby tree. When you meet its eye, it raises its wings as though to say, ‘Good for you two!’ You turned your attention back to Silver, who was patiently waiting for your response. You hesitantly hold out your hand and Silver grasps it and tugs gently, inviting you to come closer. So you do, leaning gently against his chest as he wraps his arms around you. “Is it really ok to be this happy?” you ask him in a dreamy voice. Silver’s voice reaches you ears, “Yes, for now and ever after.”

Gladiolus: Strength of character, sincerity, generosity

You and Deuce were a lot alike. People were always telling you that. Perhaps it was the earnest spirit you possessed, the one that made you want to work hard to prove yourself as the magic-less Prefect of Ramshackle dorm. Or maybe it was just how naïve you were. You and Deuce had secretly smuggled the eggshells out of the Heartslabyul kitchen the last time you helped Trey bake. Deep in the rose maze, you held a little funeral for the chicks who might have been before burying the shells in the compost heap. You felt like you might cry and turned to Deuce to see he was already letting heavy tears fall upon his cheeks. You had smiled and held his hand, knowing you had found a kindred spirit.

There were some differences though. While Deuce was athletic, you were sort of clumsy. Which felt really unfair; you already had no magic and now you suck at the regular portion of gym class too! Deuce was always supportive of you, even when you fail miserably. “You can do it, Prefect! FIGHT ON!” You turn and look at him, “Deuce, I appreciate the cheer but I’m only waist height up this rope. I don’t think I’m going to make it to the top.” Deuce gives you a startled look before putting his fist to his chest and very seriously remarking, “Don’t worry about it, there are plenty of fish in the sea.” It made no sense really, but somehow, it still makes you feel better. You give your dear, dear friend a gently smile from where you cling desperately to the rope, “Thanks Deuce, I needed that.” He perks up happily, always pleased to have assisted you.

You just wish that you could find a way to help him out too. It felt like he was always the one encouraging you and never the other way around. At least once, you’d like to be the one cheering him on, helping him find that extra oomph to pull through. Only, you were barely in the same lessons. Coach Vargus was always giving you remedial tasks for your class while the athletic Deuce was running laps or taking flying lessons with the rest of the students. You could shout from across the field, but how would he know the shouts were for him?

“I’m just here to help you stretch,” Jack says to you with some confusion as to why you are saying all this aloud. You look up at him and sigh, “I know but you are such a good listener. I just can’t help but want to talk out my problems when you are around.” Jack looks away and puts a hand in his hair, rubbing his head in embarrassment, “You know you could always come to our track meets. I’m sure Deuce would like to have you in the stands cheering for him there.” You jump up and clasp your hands in front of you, “Jack! That is a great idea!” You give Jack an enthusiastic hug and then bound away, your spirits mightily lifted.

You spent that night thinking about how to best show your support for Deuce and came up with an idea. You vaguely recall that the way to congratulate a race winner was by putting a wreath of flowers around their neck. You were a little unsure if this was just for horses but figured that it was the thought that counted most. You weren’t entirely sure where you could come up with a flower wreath but figured you’d go where everything was…

“IN STOCK NOW!!!” Sam assures you when you tell him of your needs. You were relieved that Sam seemed to understand what you’d been going for when you explained your idea to him. He even gave you some helpful suggestions on flowers based on flower language, which was a mystery to you. Sam asked you to tell him about the person the flowers were for; not just his personality but what he meant to you.

You had tried to capture the feeling, but it was difficult; how do you describe a person who is like your best friend, brother, and partner all in one? You tried though. You told Sam about how Deuce always tried his best, even when it was something he knew he wouldn’t succeed in. You told him about how Deuce isn’t afraid to tell you about his mistakes. You value his honesty and feel inspired by the way he looks forward to how he plans to improve rather than dwelling on his failings. Lastly, you tell Sam about the events that inspired your gift; the way Deuce always goes out of his way to give you support. Sam smiles at you kindly, “So you need a gift for your boyfriend.” You jump back, “N.N.NO! He’s not, I mean we’re not…Ah, it’s not like that!”

Sam chuckles at you mischievously but let’s your awkward denial stand. “Of course, little imp. I have just the thing to encourage a…special friend and it’s IN STOCK NOW!” Your relief was palatable; both because you’d found a way to encourage Deuce and because you hadn’t been forced to look too deeply at your relationship with your friend. Because you were just friends and…and that is all you want…right? You shake your head, banishing any wayward thoughts and smile at the suave businessman, “Yes, I’ll take it. Thank you, sir!”

When the day of the track meet arrived, you returned to the Mystery Shop to retrieve your item. When you saw the bright red flowers braided into the wreath, you gasped in delight. “Sam, this is perfect! He’s sure to notice me from the stands now. I’m sure my feelings will reach him!” Sam passes you a knowing smile, “Good luck, little Imps. And if you need anything in the future; notebooks, shoes, …rings; you know where to come.” With a last wink, Sam withdraws into the shop and you jog off.

You arrive at the track and field area where bleachers have been set up to hold spectators. You climb up to the very top of a set, hoping the height will make you even more visible. Your gaze scans the students warming up below, searching for Deuce. “You came to my meet!” an excited voice exclaims to your side. “Ack!” you yell in surprise, nearly taking a tumble off the back of the bleachers. “Whoa!” Deuce exclaims as he grabs your arm, steadying you, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You laugh sheepishly, clutching your gladiolus wreath before realizing you were perhaps crushing the flowers. “Oh, OH! This is for you!” you say as you thrust the wreath out to him. “Ah! Thanks?” Deuce says in confusion. “I wanted to congratulate you on your win!” Deuce seems satisfied with your answer but rubs his head and remarks, “But I haven’t won anything yet…” You jump in surprise, realizing you’ve made a silly error after being startled. You pull the wreath back into your hands, “Ah! Then, then I’m just going to hold it here until you do. So go win and then come back so I can congratulate you!” Deuce gives you a beaming smile with his fist to his chest, “That’s right! I’m all fired up now! Just you wait!” Then he runs off, still smiling, to join the rest of the runners.

You were hoarse from shouting your encouragement by the end of the event. Both Deuce and Jack do well but Deuce only manages to take home second place in the sprint. You find him afterward leaning with his forehead against a wall. “Deuce,” you call out uncertainly. Deuce doesn’t look at you and instead slides down into a squat. “I didn’t win. I disappointed you.” You hurriedly rush to his side, “Not at all! You did so well!” With a flip of your wrists, you toss the wreath over his head. “Congratulations Deuce. You didn’t win the race but I’m sure you’ve won something.”

Deuce looks up at your suddenly with a blush settling on his cheeks. “Did I?” he asks nervously, “I’ve been trying to for so long that I’d almost given up. I thought you didn’t think of me that way but now,” he slides his hand over the bright flowers, “I see I was wrong.” He gently takes your hand and lets out a breath that is have laugh and half sigh of relief. When he squeezes your hand, your heart thumps wildly, turning your feelings into a pit in your stomach. Then Deuce laughs again and this time it is fully joyful, rising all the way to his eyes, crinkling up his cheeks and showing where he will someday have laugh-lines. When you hear the sound, it settles in you and suddenly you no longer feel confused. You find yourself laughing with him, squeezing his hand back tightly. Ah, so that was it. You were in love with Deuce; your best friend and partner. You wonder mildly if anyone else noticed. Probably not.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #twst silver #silver x reader #deuce spade #deuce x reader

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dinodontwait · 7 months

Text

Mismatched Mails

Pairing: Lee Seokmin x fem!reader

Trope: The Boy Next Door

Genre: Fluff Fluff and Fluff cause our happy virus is full of LOVE

Summary: Y/N, intrigued by a misdelivered package, encounters Seokmin, the boy next door. As they navigate the mix-ups of the mismatched mailboxes, a charming friendship blossoms. Their shared journey includes reviving a neglected garden, late-night conversations, and laughter-filled moments.

Word Count: ~1.8k

A/N : IT OUR SUNSHINE'S BIRTHDAY!!!!! I wish him all the love in this universe!!!!! Just one smile from him brightens my day I love him!!!

The unexpected package sat on my doorstep like a mystery waiting to be unraveled. Its label revealed that it was meant for Lee Seokmin, the boy next door – a neighbor I had barely exchanged more than a passing greeting with. This mishap felt like the perfect excuse to finally break the ice.

Summoning courage, I picked up the package and approached Seokmin's house. A nervous excitement tingled in my fingers as I knocked. The door opened, revealing Seokmin's warm smile. "Hi, I'm Y/N. This was delivered to my place by mistake. It's for you," I explained, extending the package toward him.

Seokmin's eyes widened in surprise as he accepted the box. "Y/N, right? Thanks a lot! I wasn't expecting anything today," he said, a grateful smile playing on his lips. It was the first time I had seen him up close, and his easy going demeanour made me feel oddly comfortable.

As he inspected the package, my eyes couldn't help but wander to our mailboxes. His, a faded red, stood next to the charming blue of mine. "Our mailboxes are quite a mismatch, huh?" I remarked, hoping to keep the conversation going.

Seokmin chuckled, a playful gleam in his eyes. "Yeah, they are. My grandpa gave me that old red one when I moved in. I always thought it added character," he shared, a hint of nostalgia in his voice.

Curiosity sparked, I probed further. "Any particular reason for the blue one?"

He scratched his head, contemplating the question. "Honestly, it was the only one left at the hardware store when I moved in. Guess fate brought us these mismatched mailboxes," he mused, and our laughter echoed in the hallway.

Before I knew it, we were talking about everything from favourite books to childhood memories. As we chatted, the awkwardness dissipated, replaced by a growing sense of connection. As Seokmin closed the door, I couldn't help but smile.

The days that followed were a delightful blur of intentional mix-ups and newfound connection. Each interaction with Seokmin left me craving more, and it seemed he felt the same. Late-night conversations on the porch became our sanctuary, the only place where we could be completely ourselves.

One evening, after another successful mail exchange, we found ourselves sitting on the porch steps, surrounded by the soft glow of fairy lights. The air was filled with the subtle scent of blooming flowers, and the mismatched mailboxes stood as silent witnesses to our growing camaraderie.

Seokmin leaned back, his eyes scanning the night sky. "You know, Y/N, I never expected misdelivered mail to lead to such interesting conversations," he confessed, a playful smile playing on his lips.

I chuckled, feeling a warmth spreading through me. "Life has a funny way of bringing people together, doesn't it?"

As we continued talking, I couldn't help but notice the genuine curiosity in Seokmin's eyes. It was as if every word I said mattered, and his laughter made me feel like I was part of something special. The mismatched mailboxes became our shared secret, a symbol of the serendipity that had brought us together.

One weekend, as we tackled the neglected community garden, Seokmin's hands dirtied from planting flowers, he turned to me with a mischievous grin. "You've got a little dirt on your face," he teased, reaching over to wipe a smudge from my cheek.

I couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up. "Thanks, gardener boy. You've got a little something, too," I replied, returning the favor.

As we worked side by side, our laughter echoed in the garden, blending with the rustling leaves and chirping crickets. With every shared joke and every stolen glance, the connection between us deepened, like roots intertwining beneath the surface.

In a quiet moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Seokmin looked at me with a sincerity that took my breath away. "You make everything feel lighter, Y/N. This garden, these moments – they mean more because you're a part of them."

His words lingered in the air, and I felt a flutter in my chest. The garden, once neglected, now flourished – a testament to the beauty that could emerge from collaboration and care.

As the days turned into weeks, and our garden project flourished, Seokmin and I found ourselves drawn even closer. The mismatched mailboxes, once a source of amusement, now stood as silent witnesses to the blossoming connection between us.

One lazy afternoon, as we sat in the shade of our flourishing garden, Seokmin's fingers idly traced the patterns of the mismatched mailboxes. "You know, we've put so much effort into this garden. Maybe it's time to give our mailboxes a little makeover too," he suggested, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "A makeover for our mailboxes?"

Seokmin nodded, a playful smile playing on his lips. "Why not? It's a fun way to mark the growth of our friendship."

And just like that, we decided to switch the mailboxes – a symbolic gesture of unity and the beginning of a shared journey. As we unscrewed the mailboxes from their posts, Seokmin spoke, his voice carrying a sense of quiet excitement.

"You know, these mailboxes have seen it all – the misdelivered packages, our late-night conversations, the birth of our garden. They've been witnesses to the story of us," he said, his gaze locked with mine.

I couldn't help but smile. "Our little mismatched mailboxes have become a part of our narrative, haven't they?"

With the switch complete, the charming blue mailbox now stood next to the faded red one. It felt like a visual representation of our intertwined lives. Seokmin grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "There we go – a match made in mailbox heaven."

As we sat on the porch, admiring our handiwork, Seokmin turned to me, his expression softening. "Y/N, from mismatched mail to a shared garden, you've made every moment brighter. I cherish the memories we've created together."

His words hung in the air, and I felt a warmth spreading through me. "Seokmin, you've brought so much joy into my life. I couldn't imagine this journey with anyone else."

In that quiet moment, with the mismatched mailboxes standing as a testament to our unique story, Seokmin's hand found mine, fingers intertwining in a gentle, reassuring grip. Our eyes locked, and I could sense a vulnerability in his gaze that mirrored my own feelings. His voice, a mere whisper, carried a weight of emotions. "Y/N," he said, his breath warm against my skin, "from the first misdelivered package to this very moment, every step with you has been a treasure. I don't want to imagine this journey with anyone else."

My heart fluttered in response to his sincerity, and as he leaned in, the world around us seemed to fade away. Our lips met in a tender kiss, a fusion of shared laughter, late-night conversations, and the unspoken confessions that had shaped our connection. In that intimate embrace, the mismatched mailboxes became more than a quirky detail – they became the symbols of our journey, our resilience, and the beautifully imperfect love that had unfolded.

As our kiss lingered, Seokmin pulled back, his eyes searching mine for confirmation. "Y/N, I don't know about you, but for me, this feels like the beginning of something extraordinary. What do you say we let our story continue?"

A surge of affection overwhelmed me, and I nodded, unable to find words that could encapsulate the depth of my emotions. Seokmin smiled, a soft and understanding expression, and with our hands still entwined, we sat on the porch, the mismatched mailboxes behind us, illuminated by the soft glow of our garden.

"Here's to the future, Y/N," Seokmin whispered, his voice filled with hope and promise.

"Here's to the future," I echoed, and in that moment, beneath the stars and surrounded by the symbols of our unique love story, we embarked on a new chapter that promised laughter, shared dreams, and the beauty that comes from embracing the unexpected.

BONUS

Our home was a lively swirl of laughter and chatter as friends gathered to celebrate Seokmin's birthday. Soonyoung and Seungkwan, the dynamic duo, were in the middle of their classic bickering routine, providing the background music to our joyful chaos.

"Soonyoung, if you eat another slice of cake before the birthday boy, you're in trouble!" Seungkwan playfully scolded, brandishing a spatula as his weapon of choice.

Soonyoung grinned mischievously. "Can't resist the temptation, Seungkwan. It's for quality control purposes! Tiger never fails to check!"

Amid the banter, I searched for Seokmin, who was surrounded by friends, a warm glow in his eyes. When he noticed me approaching, a grin stretched across his face. "Hey, beautiful. What's the plan?"

Leaning in, I whispered into his ear, "I have a surprise for you. Follow me."

Curiosity sparkled in Seokmin's eyes as I led him to a more secluded corner. With a mischievous smile, I placed his hand on my stomach. His eyes widened with realization, and a mixture of emotions danced in his gaze.

"Happy birthday, Seokmin," I whispered, a teasing smile playing on my lips. "Looks like we're going to have a little someone joining our story."

His eyes filled with tears, and he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Y/N, this is the best birthday gift ever. I can't believe we're going to be parents."

As we shared the news with Soonyoung and Seungkwan, the atmosphere shifted from playful banter to heartfelt congratulations. Soonyoung's eyes widened, and he exclaimed, "Whoa, a mini-Seokmin on the way! We're going to have so much fun spoiling that kid. We can name them BooSeokSoon or better Horanghae~~"

Seungkwan giving BOObamstic a side eye to Soonyoung and his tiger agenda, added with a grin, "Congratulations, you two. Parenthood – the grandest adventure of all."

As the party continued, Seokmin couldn't stop smiling. He held my hand, his thumb tracing small circles over my fingers, a silent acknowledgment of the new chapter unfolding in our lives.

Underneath the fairy lights and surrounded by the warmth of friends, we celebrated not just Seokmin's birthday but the beginning of a journey into parenthood. As the night unfolded, I stole a moment to look outside our home. There, illuminated by the soft glow of the garden lights, stood the mismatched mailboxes side by side – a quaint symbol of the journey that had led us to this magical point in our lives. As Seokmin joined me, our fingers intertwined, we gazed at the mismatched mailboxes, a silent acknowledgment of our shared story and the beautiful chapters yet to be written. The promise of a growing family, laughter echoing through the halls, and love that would continue to flourish just like the garden we had nurtured together.

#svt fic #seventeen fanfic #svt x reader #svt series #svt fic recs #seventeen x reader #seokmin x reader #seokmin fluff #lee seokmin #lee seokmin x reader #lee dokyeom x reader #dokyeom x reader #happy birthday sunshine #happy birthday #Seokmin Birthday

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abronzeagegod · 8 months

Text

Dead Letters, Missing Wife

Dead Letter #0 & 1 Marriage Certificate and 'Come Find Me'

[a cleaned up and longer version of this post and prompt]

You had just turned 18 over the weekend. Reaching the age of majority or whatever. Sunday birthdays are whatever, you have the day off of school and responsibilities but the looming threat of Monday hangs over the entire day.

At least with this Monday you have the joy of looking forward to belated birthday letters and things being delivered to you since the mail doesn't go on Sundays.

Sure enough after school there was a small stack of letters for you.

Grandma, aunts, uncles, your one weird cousin that lives in the mountains.

All birthday wishes and greetings. I was nice.

Then there was a large, thick envelope that said, "Department of Recognition, Vows, and Contracts."

You carefully tear along the edge of the large envelope and open it. Two things are there. One is something that looks like what you imagine your eventual college diploma would look like. Thick, impressive paper that almost feels laminated, some kind of fun calligraphy across it. There was also a piece of paper.

The paper was forgotten about at first.

The certificate, was a marriage certificate. For you and your first crush, your best friend at 6 years old, Siobhan.

There was your name and Siobhan Winters.

"This certificate recognizes the wedding vows exchanged between these two parties as complete and binding upon the youngest reaching their age of majority."

The memories come flooding back. You hadn't thought of Siobhan in years. Hell, you haven't even seen them in twice as long.

You were a demanding six year old. It was something about you that you were just adamant that this was how things were and how they were supposed to be. And seeing Siobhan, a cute little kid with long blonde hair that was so blonde it was almost white, big green eyes, and just this quiet demeanor to everyone but you, of course she was the one that you figured out what the terms "crush" and "fall in love" and everything meant. Those words were just words, descriptions of parents and grandparents and why they were together for so long, but Siobhan was the person that made the definition real and gave it tangibility and form for you.

She was your best friend but that wasn't quite enough for you at six years old. You dragged her to the pond out back of the neighborhood. The pond was on the edge of a small wood, really nothing more than a copse of trees and wilderness in the suburban sprawl, but it felt like a great and terrible wood when you were that small.

You donned a veil because there was something Traditional, and Correct, about hiding your face from your best friend/crush. You didn't have a ring but you did spend your allowance on candy at the corner shop, and in your haul were two candy rings.

There were somethings about weddings that you know, but you don't know much.

You know there was a veil, that was very important. You know there were rings. You know there were vows and witnesses.

There were vows, you know that for a fact. You just can't quite remember, now, what they were. Siobhan said them with such gravitas and meaning and weight to them that you still feel the shivers up your spine when you think about it.

The frogs were your witnesses.

The ring pops were the binding rings, exchanged with words of devotion.

Siobhan lifted your veil, and pulled you into a hug.

As far as the two of you were concerned, you were married!

The frogs croaked in happiness.

Apparently, the Department of Recognition, Vows, and Contracts also thought that the marriage was real. And as the younger of the two, you were the last one to reach the age of majority, and the marriage certificate was mailed to you.

As if that answered any questions.

The nostalgia calls after you and you want to remember Siobhan as they were and not the hazy memories of childhood.

You immediately start digging through your old year books, or whatever the grade school equivalent of a year books was.

It was only then that you recall that Siobhan never made it to picture day in kindergarten.

Nor did she make it to picture day the year after, or the year after, or any year until she moved away in sixth grade.

Puzzled, intrigued, and now even more confused, you head downstairs where you find your mom working hard on a crossword puzzle.

"Hey, what's a four letter word for black and white?" she asks.

"Oreo," you answer without really thinking about it. "Hey, do you remember my friend Siobhan? From kindergarten and grade school?"

Your mom finishes filling in your answer, looking pleased with herself for having most of the puzzle finished. "Was that the weird one with the cape and the glasses?"

"No, that was Steph."

"Oh yeah, she really loved random trivia, didn't she?"

"Yup."

"Siobhan was the one that was always looking for dinosaur bones in everyone's backyard?"

"That's Joel. No, Siobhan. She came over all the time, we would go play in the backyard, and went to the park together like every day. You didn't like her dad like at all. One day after kindergarten I demanded that I was gonna make her my wife and did a little ceremony out by the pond."

"Oh! Right!" Your mom looks up at you, lost in memory for a second. "Lived across the street, wild black hair, always asked if we had Cheetos."

"No. Mom. That was Matt. Siobhan. Cute kid, always seemed to be the smallest kid in class. Green eyes that had a look you called 'an old soul with the million yard stare'. Platinum blonde hair that was almost grey in a very long braid all the time."

Your mom makes eye contact with you but she doesn't seem to see you. "You never had a friend like that," she says in a strange, almost monotone.

Confused and a little weirded out, you decide to drop it, and head back up to your room. If you mom wasn't going to help you then perhaps the internet would. You don't like to brag, but you're extremely adept at Facebook stalking and finding people.

One time, at your part time job over the summer, you had a really weird coworker that you only knew for three days, lied about almost everything, and then was fired for being outrageously high on the clock. They claimed that they were getting a job in a small town in Alaska as a Fire Marshall and promptly disappeared.

All you had to find them was their first name and the fact that they worked at the same place you did for a very short amount of time.

It took you only a couple of days to find them. They did not move to Alaska, they went one town over and bounced around between barbacking jobs and running a mildly successful etsy shop.

So you use all the skills that you possess and try to reach out to all sorts of people to find someone with a shared memory of Siobhan. Friends, teachers, people you shared classes with that you'd rather never speak to again.

Every. Single. Response. "You never had a friend like that."

This went from being some weird, intriguing mystery, to something vaguely sinister, and deeply creepy.

No one seemed to remember Siobhan except for you. You remember them now, perfectly. Your first crush. The first person you ever developed feelings for, as real and as deep as any 6 year old possibly could develop.

You remember her vividly. Hugging her was the best. She was shy and didn't like to be touched too much, so when she did let you hug her it was the best. It was like hugging a piece of glass. Sharp, beautiful, and fragile. You always felt that if you hugged her too tightly she was shatter.

There was no way you could let this rest now. No way that you could let this end now.

You call the government office that issued you the certificate of marriage. Or at least. You tried to contact the government office.

The website listed no such department, neither locally nor federally.

You called city hall and they transferred you to a dead line.

Out of desperation you called the post office to see where the letter came from.

"Hello," you say for the fifth time this particular call after being transferred too many times. "I was hoping that you could help me track down who sent me a letter and not transfer me to someone else. I received a marriage certificate with my name and information but I can't find anyone who would have sent this to me, the department seemingly doesn't exist."

The deep, bored, and phlegmy voice asked simply, "And your spouse?"

"Siobhan Winters, I can't find any record of her either!" you say, perhaps too loudly, but your frustration is overwhelming you.

"Oh. You got a dead letter. Undeliverable since Siobhan Winters ain't here. But if your her spouse w can send you all the stuff we got sitting here for her. Do you accept?"

"Yes! Wait. What? What do you mean?"

"Everything will be delivered to you in the next two to three business days, thank you for contacting the Dead Letter Office. You have a pleasant day."

You couldn't do anything else before he hung up. You stare at the phone for a while before putting it down.

All you can do is wait for the dead letters to make it to you.

When the letters finally arrived there were boxes full. At least six boxes full of mail, and a few packages. It would take you, by rough estimate, at least three days to go through it all. Even if half of it was spam mail, it would take forever.

But on top of one of the boxes that you just found outside your front door, seemingly delivered before the sun rose, was a letter. It was addressed to you, sort of.

"To the spouse of Siobhan Winters"

That was you, by all accounts.

The letter was sealed with wax, and seemingly made out of heavy parchment, like some kind of ancient letter.

You opened it first.

"To my love,

I fear I must apologize for a great many things. I never wished to abandon you or break our vows, but there are actions I must take, deeds that must be done, purposes I must fulfill. If you have found this, found me, then I am sure you have many questions.

If you must search me out, then you can find my trail starting at our favorite place.

I love you still. I love you forever.

I still remember our vows and will endeavor to never corrupt or break them.

Please find me.

I miss you.

I need you.

I am so afraid.

Yours till the end of time,

Siobhan Winters"

You carefully fold the letter, and hold it close to you for a second.

It seems like you have to go out and find your wife.

You bring all the boxes inside, carefully put them in your bedroom where space is already running low. Your parents, barely awake and carefully sipping coffee watch you with mild confusion and interest.

"Everything good?" your dad asked as you carried in the last box.

"Mix up with the post office. A bunch of unsent mail finally made it my way," you half explain.

"Ok..."

With all of the boxes in your room you start to unpack and sort them.

There were hundreds if not thousands of spam mail for Siobhan. It seems that the only people that remember her are you and the person in charge of trying to sell HelloFresh boxes.

There seemed to be four serious piles of mail by the time that you finish sorting all six boxes.

The first pile, the biggest one, was spam mail. The one inexhaustible truth in the universe.

They were all addressed to Siobhan Winters, but seemingly were listed under a couple dozen addresses all over the country. There was something there, a code or a pattern in Siobhan's movements. But you don't quite have the brain power to think that one through.

The second pile were bills. None of them were overdue, but just notices for the stopping and starting of service. This felt like a pattern too, one that you could combine with the spam mail to really track where Siobhan had been over the course of the years she's been gone.

But that wasn't the important thing, yet.

Because the third and forth piles were much more interesting, and they were all addressed to "The Spouse of Siobhan Winters".

There were letters, all extremely similar to the first one you opened, all addressed the same, all sealed similarly.

Then there were packages. They were of various sizes but most of them were pretty small.

This was a mystery and an adventure, so you wanted to start at the end. Find Siobhan right away and then work through the rest.

After carefully looking over each letter you see that there were small numbers written on the back of each letter and package, right near the seal.

You couldn't make out the exact details of the seal in the dark purple wax, but you realize that it was probably a tower of some kind with some squiggly line accents.

The last letter, one with the number 60 on it, was the highest one you found, so you opened that one first.

Answers to start, adventure later.

"My love,

There is an order and a reason for this. It may be difficult, and it may change you in ways that you cannot see or predict. I say this now, here, that the road is long and difficult, for the better and the worse, and the changes are fundamental and total and incomprehensible until you go through it.

I do not want to discourage you from this journey.

I want you to be prepared.

You cannot remain, the act of searching has already started and changed you. There is no going back.

If you stop I would not blame you, nor would I intrude upon the peace you would inevitably seek and find. I would weep for the loss.

If you do wish to continue, you must know that there is an order, a reason, and a pattern to the journey. You cannot jump to the end, even though I recall you desperately reading the last chapters of books in school because you needed to know if there was a happy ending. This is not a story you can skip to the end.

I'm sorry.

The journey will be long and will alter everything for you. In the end there will be a choice, for you to make alone.

I'm sorry that all you have of me are these dead letters. But if you follow them in order, if you undergo the journey with me, after me, you will understand.

Yours for all time,

Siobhan"

You close the letter and sit on your bed.

After all this time she still remembers you so clearly it seemed. You still look up the plot summary of movies and TV shows before you start watching them. You'll spoil yourself left and right on things to make sure that they aren't going to end badly or not be worth the time investment.

It seems that this is not something that you can skip to the end of, this is a journey that you will have to take from the beginning.

There were so many letters and packages.

And you had a feeling that many of these things would have you going to wildly different places.

You grab your bag, stuff in some snacks and a bottle of water, and grab letter number 2.

If this is how it has to be, then you're going to start walking to the old pond where the two of you got married in kindergarten.

i have a kofi

#dead letters missing wife #i have some ideas going forward but before i went further i had to double back and clean some stuff up #work has also been killing me so time is precious #i'm working on like 4 other writing projects at the same time too #my fiction #writeblr #writers on tumblr

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maiko-san · 9 months

Text

The Dark Network

sneak peak on the prologue

I woke up with sweat covering my entire body, my heart beats fast against my ribcage and my breathing is uneven.

'Another nightmare'

I run my fingers through my hair as I let out a frustrated sigh, it has been a week- wait no a month. I have the same dream over and over, but everytime I wake up. I couldn't remember what it was, everything was a blur.

But I know that dream has meaning, something bad is going to happen.

I get off the comfort of my bed and went to the kitchen, a cup of cold water could calm down my nerve. Once I got my drink, I stand near the window and see my reflection.

I look horrible. With bags under my eyes, my lips are chapped and my greying brown hair is unkept. I put away the empty glass and went to the bathroom to clean myself up.

After I'm done, I went outside to water my small garden. The flowers are blooming and showing their brightest colours for everyone to see, I couldn't help but smile. Gardening is one of my favourite hobbies.

"Good morning, Mr. Abel!" a voice said causing my to turn my attention to the gate, it was Henry. A young mail man that lives a few blocks away. With a smile plaster on his lips as he pulls out a letter from his bag.

"Good morning, Henry. Got a letter for me?" I questioned the young man.

"Yup! You got yourself a letter!" Henry chirps as he hands over the letter to me. I take it from his hand. "Thanks, Henry" I said as Henry tips his cap. "Your welcome!" he said before walking up to the next house to deliver a letter.

I turn my attention to the letter in my hand, I couldn't help but smile as soon I recognised the hand writing on the envelope.

It was from my niece, Charlie. I open the letter and reads it.

Dear Uncle Abel,

Hello, Uncle Abel! I hope you are doing well in your little cozy home! I'm doing fine if you're wondering! I just want to say..... I got my dream job! Yippe!

I can't wait to get started with my new job, wish me luck and by the way, take good care of yourself!

Your beloved niece, Charlie.

I shake my head as I let out a small chuckle, Charlie always the brightest person. I notice there is a photo, I take it out and smiles at the sight of my niece smiling for the camera.

For some reason, I feel a tingle in my chest and it was unsettling......but I ignored it.

Timeskip

A week has passed and my days went as normal. Currently, I am watching the TV. There's nothing much to do in the weekends, I could go out and went to the park.

As I was about to take a sip of my coffee, my phone rings. I check the number and it belongs to Annie, Charlie's mother.

I pick up the phone.

"Hello" I said.

"Abel, I need your help...." Annie's voice enters my ears, she sound distressed.

"What's wrong, Annie?" I questioned her. All I could hear was sobbing.

"It's Charlie...." she sobbed. My brows knitted together, "What happened?" I asked her but all I hear are crying. "I-I'll get to your house, alright" I said as I quickly grab my keys and drive my way towards her house that is 7miles away from here.

"She hasn't answered any of my calls for a week— I even tried messaging her— I-I asked her friends but they doesn't know where she is— Abel, please you got to help me" cried Annie as she hugs me tightly, I gently rub her back as I comfort her.

"Tell me, when the last time you contacted her?" I questioned her, Annie wipes away her tears. "A-at her workplace....I did tried contacting the HR but they never answered my calls" she explained.

"Where's the place she work at?" Annie look up to me, "Charlie d-didn't tell you?" she stuttered. "Tell me what?".

"She's working for C&A, Abel"

My heart drops at her statement.

That company supposed to be shut down 5 years ago! Why it is still running? I stand up from the couch and went to the door, I turn my head slightly.

"Abel....?"

"I will find her, Annie. Don't you worry" I said.

I finally arrive at the building and it's already night time.The place is the same as before and nothing has changed. This place doesn't have any security or whatsoever, everything looks abandoned.

"How did you manage to get a job here, Charlie..." I whispered, questioning how she gets a job at an abandoned place. I hop out of my truck and put on my satchel and bring out my flashlight.

I open the gate and make my way into the building, everything is dark. I turn on my flashlight to see an empty building, each footsteps I took leaves an echoe.

"Charlie?" I called out. Hoping that she reply.

I hear something scattering across the floor, I shine my flashlight towards the source and it was a rat, I turn away from it and resume my search. Calling out for Charlie for time to time.

I went through all the rooms that the building has but there's nothing, could it be they have a different building at a different location?

No, Annie gave me the exact address.....

There has to be something here, like...like a hidden door? A hidden office? Yes, that's the only thing I could think off.

As I continue my search, I noticed a shelf blocking something. I quickly make my way towards it and check what's behind it, I could make it out but I noticed there is a door behind it.

I push the shelf aside and it was a bright red door, it was just an emergency exit. I let out a frustrated sigh as I slowly turn away, it's just an exit door. As I take a step, I hear the door creaks open.

A bead of sweat rolls down my cheek as I slowly turn my head, behind the door I see a light source peeking through the small gap. I turn around and push the door open.

My eyes widen at the sight of a desk with an old computer and a headset.

My flashlight drops to the ground, "No, she didn't —" before I could even react. The door behind me slams shut as I takes a few steps away. The single light flickers on and off. Then, something strikes from the shadows and binds me down.

"Argh!" whatever holding me down was strong and I couldn't see due to the flickering light. I lift my head to see the computer screen glitching wildly before showing me a game screen title and before I knew it, I feel the headsets strap itself to my face by an invisible force.

The last thing I see was....darkness.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc au #the amazing digital circus pomni #the amazing digital circus jax #the amazing digital circus gangle #the amazing digital circus zooble #the amazing digital circus ragatha #the amazing digital circus caine #the amazing digital circus kinger #novel #fanfic #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus abel

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jodilin65 · 30 years

Text

SUNDAY, JULY 31, 1994 Tom and I watched TV, then fooled around. It’s getting easier and easier for him to penetrate me. Even when he moves fast. He stopped at one point and I asked if he was OK. I thought maybe his hip went out on him. He said for future reference, so I understand him better, I shouldn’t ask if he’s OK cuz he was about to cum.

Yeah, sure. Then again, maybe he was, cuz he was able to move freely and he was very very hard.

He’s lying down now till 2:30. I’m doing laundry and after I go listen to music, I may clean the bathroom. I wrote up a shopping list and we’re going to go shopping together when he gets home.

SATURDAY, JULY 30, 1994 God, am I mad! I just accidentally erased a whole hour’s worth of typing I just did on a story I was going to start. From now on, I’m doing everything in writing except for journal typing and letters. Also, if there’s a problem printing someone’s letter, then they’re not getting it.

Well, I handwrote a few pages of a story I’m starting. It’s just something to do, I guess. I’m trying to stay up as long as I can. Tom’s going to try to sleep in till noon or so, cuz he’s got to be at work tomorrow at 4 AM.

My parents also sent a funny newspaper with O.J. Simpson jokes, gay jokes, and other jokes in it. I wrote them a letter thanking them for the package and I told them a few jokes, too.

We finally got the thank you cards all done. They came out pretty cool, too, and we did 5 of them. To his parents, my parents, David & Evie, Raymond & Nora and Evelyn. I stuck his address labels on the envelopes, but we’re going to order labels that say, Tom & Jodi Lin S.

Tom will be getting up at about the time I conk out (hopefully). He’ll be here to answer Larry’s call if he calls today. It’d be great if he called saying the best time for him and Larry to visit was next weekend. That’d be perfect, but who knows?

Later…

I slept later like I wanted to. I got up around 8 PM and Tom was up, of course. He’s going to work at about 3 AM for 4-5 hours. When he comes home we’re going food shopping. Right now he’s digesting his food, then we’re going to play around.

I got no calls or mail today. Well, I guess that’s all for now. I’ll be back to write more later.

FRIDAY, JULY 29, 1994 Andy got here a little over an hour ago. Right now he’s typing a letter to that guy in Hawaii.

There’s nothing exciting on TV, so I will write now. The storm hit as Tom got home so we couldn’t cook with the power out. Therefore, we fooled around a little. After the power came back on we fried some shrimp, chicken, and French fries. I could even use the fryer on my own now. It’s really very simple.

We were going to make up those thank you cards, but Tom was beat and the power failure took up too much time.

Andy brought over tons of hot dogs. His friend drives a truck and delivers food, so they get lots of stuff they can’t eat or have no room for. So, now we have 50-60 hot dogs and Tom’s psyched. That’s pretty much all he ever eats, cuz he loves them that much.

Andy says in less than an hour he’ll be done with the letter he’s typing, then together we’ll type a letter to Don. I’ll type and he’ll dictate. This is the same guy he’s already typed letters to. One letter, actually. As I said before, the guy’s a TM (typical male) and is probably homophobic. He’s friends with another maintenance guy who works with Don, so he’s heard all the talk about it. This guy Don is really freaked out. He’s lucky he can do that. I’d get caught.

Next door, though, never came to ask us if we knew “Amy” so that’s cool.

I also filled out about 10 magazine subscriptions for Andy that are going to Don. This is fun and I miss these nights. I wish he were a regular night person again, so I could see Tom when I’m on days and Andy when I was on nights.

Later…

Tom will be getting up soon. He’ll be so thrilled to know that a VCR Andy sold to Diane in 1983 no longer works well and he’s giving it to Tom for parts.

Something’s wrong with the printer. It’s extremely sluggish. It takes 10 times longer to print stuff.

My back is so sore now and I’m pre-cramping. The pisser of that is, is that I’ve still got 5 more days to go.

I gave Andy all those little notes I made up, so that’ll keep him busy.

He tells me that in a couple of months, he’ll be a night person again. After all this time, I have to see it to believe it.

There’s something I wonder if I should mention to Tom. No, it wouldn’t upset him and he always encourages me to talk about my feelings, but I don’t know if there’d be any point in it. I guess so I could understand him even better sexually, would be my point. He’s told me that sex is an emotional thing to him. And if a woman showed her body to people (not in the case of dancing cuz that’d be a job) it’d turn him off and stop him from cumming. Then, what I don’t get is how he came with Wendy. She showed her body mainly to her husband. So, if Tom knew this, and he did, then how could he cum?

I know deep in my heart he’ll never cum with me and that’d be OK, but I’d still like to be able to understand him even better. At first, I thought he didn’t want to cum so as not to mess up the sheets or get me pregnant. Well, sheets are washable and I still doubt I can get pregnant. Especially if I’m doing him with my hand.

Well, I can’t tap into his true mind and feelings. Only he knows his mind and feelings, despite what he tells me and how good I am with people. People only know themselves the best. It could be a lot of things. Maybe he just likes to take care of himself and to a huge degree, I can understand that.

It’s a few minutes after 6:00 now, so I’d better go make sure he’s up.

Later…

I fell asleep at 11 AM and woke up at 6 PM. Sooner than I wanted to.

There was one hang-up call, so if it wasn’t Fran or a wrong number, it could’ve been Larry. Kim also called with a bummer message. She went to see Bob today after getting lost and being stuck in the rain. She was wearing shorts which weren’t allowed and had to go all the way back home. She never did get to see Bob. That was a definite curse on Bob. Yes, maybe God, or whatever, is determined to keep him lonely. No love. No friends. No visitors. Kim also said she has no love life, no sex life, so she’s ordering a pizza, and to say hi to Tom.

I also got a package from my parents, but I’ll write about it after I have a smoke.

Later…

In the package, there were two Florida T-shirts. One for me, one for him. A mug, a watch, sunblock, and a handbag with a dollar bill in it. A baseball with a picture of a Nolan Ryan on it. I don’t know who the hell that is and am not into baseball like he is, so I gave it to him. He stuck it on the wall ledge in the back room.

Lastly, there were two alligator straws and a tiny gift-wrapped box that says: Jodi - this is a very special gift that you can never see. The reason it’s so special is it’s just for you from me. Whenever you are lonely or even feeling blue, you only have to hold this gift and know I think of you. You can never unwrap it. Please leave the ribbon tied. Just hold the box close to your heart it’s filled with love inside. Love Mom. The card was pre-written.

She only wrote my name on it and signed it. I think all it is inside is a block of wood.

THURSDAY, JULY 28, 1994 I just hung 3 stuffed animals out on the clothesline to be aired out. I also vacuumed today, but I’m not all done with that. I shall also clean the bathroom.

I made up 2 manila envelopes last night for letters. I wrote Bob’s letters on one and I wrote Kim’s letters and others on the other one. The envelope that I was originally going to send Kim is for Bob’s letters. There are 20 so far.

I still have 10 more pages that I’ll type out to stick in the last 10 pages that remain in #70.

The Guardian is to be on the 5th of August at 8 PM on the USA network. Great. Now I can get scenes that aren’t in the uncut movie I have. I’ll ask Andy to record it as a backup, cuz I’m sure that’s when the cable will have to fuck up.

I’m surprised Andy didn’t call tonight. He said something about a Thursday visit, but I’m not sure when I’ll be up anyway. More surprising is that Fran hasn’t called. Well, good for him.

Later…

Well, I’m wide awake. I wish I could be a day person! Why can’t I get up at 8 AM every day?

I began Bob’s letter and got a page done of it. I’ll probably type 3 pages and send 3 blank pieces of paper. In this last letter I got from him, he says he’s got 52 envelopes, but only 3 pieces of paper. Kim’s been taking care of him in the stamp department. I’m doing the envelopes and paper.

Later…

Andy will be here anytime, so I’ll probably get cut off. In the meantime, I got up at 5:00.

That stupid, stupid mailman. I was told at the post office that I owed 23¢ on an overstuffed letter from Bob. What they really meant and had me do was pay 23¢ for a letter to be returned to me that I overstuffed to Bob. Even Tom said that was wrong. I’ll combine that letter with Bob’s next letter that I’m currently typing and put extra postage on it.

We also had a massive dust storm, followed by a monsoon storm. Lots of rain, wind, lightning, and thunder, and it knocked the power out for almost an hour.

I hope Larry didn’t try calling today.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27, 1994 I looked at the date I just wrote and asked myself why it seemed familiar and didn’t settle right with me. Then I remembered it was the day I was admitted to the Brattleboro Retreat in Vermont in 1981 for 5 months of hell. Wow! It’s been 13 years. It feels like it’s been that long, but it also feels like it may as well have been a few years ago. I remember everything very clearly and vividly. I knew then that if there truly was a heaven and a hell and that if I went to hell when I died, I’d be totally prepared having already been to hell.

I was just a baby when I learned people are often like fresh milk. They may start off good, but then they go sour. Thank God for Tom and Andy, though. Thank God.

After I have a smoke, I’ll get into what I’ve done and a talk I had with Tom.

Later…

In a little while, I’m going to go cook some spaghetti and boil some vanilla extract. You boil it till it evaporates and it freshens the air and kills all the cigarette smoke.

I didn’t get up until 3:30 PM but got a lot done. Tom made me a doctor’s appointment for 8/16. I supposedly have a female doctor, but I’m sure God will see to it that I’m usually in the company of males whenever I do go there.

Tom said he was out back very briefly but could hear them next door.

Yeah, I believe it. Oh, I just dread how it’ll be a month from now.

Tom worked on his poster-making program. It’s looking good.

I called Kim and told her Alex’s address. She said that there had been an ambulance call while she was at work or something like that and thought it could’ve been his parents, but the call wasn’t from that house. She also said she met a great-looking guy at the beach, but when he said his name was Bob, she said - forget it! Tom and I were cracking up over that one.

She said she also pictured Tom with black hair, as I sent her a video print-out. She said she didn’t know he had “blondish” hair, but I told her it was brown/gray. She said he looked really sweet.

Tom went down on me before going to bed. After he went to bed, I dusted, straightened up and changed my sheets. I also watched a kind of boring movie with Lindsay Wagner. I showered, shaved, did my hair and straightened it. I began typing #60, but now I’m going to cook and do dishes before I write any more.

Later…

OK, I made the spaghetti, so now I’ll write about what I told Tom. There was a part of me that wanted to tell what I told Tom to my parents, but I’m not going to. Yes, I’ve made a few prank calls to my aunts and uncles, but they’ve done shit to me, too. They’ve accused me of things I didn’t do, they’ve threatened me, they’ve shoved me around, slapped me, and told people I was crazy, while they’d be phony and friendly to my face. It is kind of sad in a way that these people haven’t acknowledged me in years (aunts, uncles and cousins) and probably never will. At the same time, though, I know this way’s the best (having no contact). These people are fucking assholes for the most part who’ll believe only what they want to believe, and Tom made me feel better by letting me know that he too, has aunts, uncles and cousins he hasn’t seen in years.

Well, now I’ll go do the dishes, then maybe I’ll type Kim a letter and get one started to Bob.

Later…

Kim’s letter’s printing out right now. Did the dishes, but I probably won’t start Bob’s letter till tomorrow. I’ll also send Tammy a message.

Remember how I said I was sick of copying letters and was going to talk them into tapes? Well, I’m not even going to do that. I’m just going to keep the originals in manila envelopes and if he writes anything unusual or different, I’ll tell Kim. We talked about it and she agreed, cuz he never says anything new other than he wants out of prison, loves Kim, wishes he could see me and get the hell out here.

Later…

I didn’t get up till 3:30 PM, but I’ve already got enough to tell. I got 2 letters from Bob as well as a Polaroid picture of him. He looks totally different. I’ve always known him with no beard or mustache and with a crew cut. Well, this time his hair was 2-3 inches long on his head and he’s got a full beard and mustache.

Later…

Back again after playing with Piggy, talking with Tom, and watching TV after he went to bed.

Tomorrow the post office is redelivering a letter from Bob in which I owe 23¢ postage due. I can’t believe they wouldn’t deliver it over a lousy 23¢.

I also got a very strange letter from SSI. They’re saying that from Sept. 1st on I’ll be getting a check for $466 every month. They said the reason for this is cuz I had no income for July. How do they know that? July’s not over yet and what about August? I tried to call them, but couldn’t get through. Ma said to ignore them, but Tom said to call and see what they have to say about it. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Another funny thing is that this $466 is to come from SSI, not SS which usually is a bigger check. SSI in Arizona pays no more than $16 and in MA it’s a little over $100.

So am I on or off disability? Who knows, but Tom says, “If someone wants to give you money, take it.”

I agree. I’ll have to tell them I’m married now, though, and that my checking account’s been closed.

My parents were in a glorious mood today. My mom answered and asked where I’d been. Guess she’s been trying to call me. She was laughing, as she said not to call her all the time to ask what or when, but she’s sending a package and both Larrys will be calling about a visit. They want to see me and meet Tom. Tom said, sure, he’ll meet them. Cool! I was afraid Tom might be uncomfortable with that idea. But I wonder - will I be up when he calls? Will I be awake when they say they can come? Will Tom have to work when they say they can come?

God, please let it all fall into place!

MONDAY, JULY 25, 1994 I didn’t get up till nearly 3 PM today. I had been exhausted and up for a long time, so I was beat.

Tom got groceries and blew up another drawing of mine.

I did laundry and I’m pissed cuz I accidentally put my newest skirt in the dryer and now it barely passes my ass.

Tom bought a new pool toy. They’re 4 rings that stand upright on the bottom of the pool that you swim through.

I heard one of the animals next door scream bloody murder for about 15 minutes. I wondered how it could take the heat, and their sprinklers weren’t on. Why’d they have to come back from Idaho so soon? I’ll probably have to listen to them every weekend now. Then, it’ll get worse before it gets better cuz when the temperature’s just right, they’ll leave their doors open and I can hear every scream they make. I guess whatever’s up there would prefer me to listen to other people’s kids than have one of my own. Not that we’ve tried as Tom’s so easy to please All he needs (wants?) is a hard-on and he’s well satisfied. We played around after we ate and he had no problem getting in there after two dollops of KY jelly. He said, though, that if his arms didn’t get tired, he’d have cum in two minutes. Uh-huh, sure. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him or me just cuz he prefers hard-ons over cumming. Or is there? He was so exhausted that he went to bed early, shortly after we screwed.

I went swimming, then ate, watched TV, listened to music and typed. I tried to draw, but my luck’s run out. Everything I created sucked.

We made deep fry butterfly shrimp for me and it was so good. Just like you’d get in a restaurant. We also made donuts out of Pillsbury biscuits. Those were not the greatest of all.

I took Andy’s advice and boiled some vanilla extract to freshen the air. Yes, it works. It takes out cigarette smoke.

Tomorrow I have a letter going out to Bob and soon I’ll do one for my parents and Kim.

Later…

To hell with the hair removal system for now. You gotta go over the same little area again and again. It takes forever and it grows back almost as fast as a regular shave. With a regular shaver, I can quickly shave up really well.

Andy had told me he needed a new batch of funny/weird notes, so I just did him up a supply. I finished off a pad of paper. I’ve had it for 9 years. In fact, my mother gave it to me the day I went out on my own on 12/3/85.

I recopied all 13 and a half pages last night from this book as well as the previous one.

I briefly spoke to Tammy. They’ve got Bill’s aunt and her 14-year-old son there from Israel.

Tammy said that the other day when I had tried to call, her mother-in-law had pulled a lot of shit. I had said she must be like our mother, but she said there’s no comparison. She said she’s worse than our mother. That sucks and explains why Bill’s sometimes narrow-minded, moody and not Mr. Sensitive of the Year.

She got my sketch and said it was nice, but she hasn’t really had time to look at it. That’s cool.

I asked if Mom and Dad have called her recently. She said no. They almost never call here either. I still can’t believe they never sent a check or a dishwasher. They’ve only backed out on very few things they said they were going to do. That much I can really say is true for them.

I talked with Andy too, who asked if I’d heard from Fran. When I said that I amazingly hadn’t, he said I will when he gets his letter. But I thought he got it today? Maybe not, cuz Andy says it’s taken his letters 6-7 days to get to people in Springfield, as well as at the beach.

Today Tom set up the aerator so it covers just about the whole pool. I love it, cuz I feel much safer from bees.

He should be home within an hour, but soon I’m going to go for another swim and do some computer work.

Later…

Tom came home shortly after I last wrote. We’ve been having fun printing out thank-you cards in a different way. However, the printer driver may be screwed up.

We just went swimming a little while ago and tomorrow Tom’s gotta zap the pool cuz it’s green.

Andy called again a little over an hour ago. He said some guy’s been calling his mother and asking, “Is Andy there yet?” We’re quite sure it’s Fran. I’m also sure he’s tried to call my parents, but I highly doubt he’ll reach them cuz they moved and have a new number. I called their old number and it just rang and rang, so someone else’s got it now. Before a recording came on saying the new number.

He could probably reach Phil if he wanted to, but I could really care less if he did call him or anyone else with my maiden name. I don’t care if he calls someone and I also don’t care if they believe whatever bullshit he says about me.

It was very hot and quiet out today and it will at least continue to be hot. I won’t hear them next door more than once a week till September. It seems that when it’s warm and when they’re out, they go out back. In the winter they live in front, right outside my window. Thank God for the fan as well as my stereo.

There have been absolutely no concerts from across the street, but was Dan really a senior last year? Is he moving, or does he have another year to go?

I’m almost done with the typing of #41, so I’ll go finish it up, then maybe I will watch the movie I taped.

SUNDAY, JULY 24, 1994 I am watching a 4-hour movie now.

A little while ago I rearranged my walls. I also typed part of Bob’s letter. Soon I’ll go type more.

Tom went to his parents’ house yesterday.

Evelyn gave us a food processor for a wedding present. We fried chicken again in the deep fryer. When Tom was at his parents’, he told his ma how I don’t like spices and sauces and salt and pepper and shit like that. He said she then said, “No wonder she’s so skinny.”

I wish to hell I could agree.

So, am I going to get my workout stuff and that Phase-Out this week? I hope so.

Commercial’s over now.

SATURDAY, JULY 23, 1994 I’m now printing out a picture that I hope and pray comes out OK, but I’m not going to look till it’s done.

Amazingly enough, no calls from Fran. He must not have gotten his letter yet.

If Kim tried to call back, then I don’t know about it, cuz at one point I turned the ringer off. We were busy and that’s usually when the phone rings.

I put up all those rose pictures last night and today. In my bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, and the back door.

FRIDAY, JULY 22, 1994 Well, in 40 minutes a movie called Local Hero goes on. Norah’s name wasn’t listed, but I think she could be in it.

Tomorrow I’ll probably bring the VCR out back and print some pictures. Tom says he can get it over 4 inches now.

Later…

Got up at noon today. There was a message from a Tim R at the Police Department. I called and told him what a quack Fran is and described his personality and the things he’s done. Tim said he had him figured out right away (for a wacko). I gave Tim his social worker’s name and his address. He said he’d contact Fran’s local Police Department. I warned him that Fran would keep constantly calling and he said something about calling the phone company and blocking him from calling AZ. He also said he’d tell Michelle we spoke, and was really nice about it.

Norah was in Local Hero but for only 3 quick scenes. She had far from a leading role.

Now I ask myself a question? Did Tom fuck with the reception cuz he was, not upset, but worried over this shit with Fran? The cable box broke the other day, but there was a problem with the reception till 5-10 minutes into the movie. He was in his room, supposedly asleep, but the wires do run in there, so he can watch TV in his room.

I also noticed he put his shoes right on the phone cord, or almost. I had asked him a while back if he wouldn’t do that cuz it’s a pain in the ass when I go to pull the phone out. He hasn’t done this for a while, but every now and then we don’t see eye to eye on certain things, things get more “misplaced,” so to speak.

He’s also the type to make this Fran shit a bigger deal than I would, but is that it? Was he upset Andy was here, even though he didn’t seem it? Did he play with the TV? Guess I’ll have to ask him about it, but the guy’s even more sensitive than I am. I don’t want the poor man to be in tears or anything.

Otherwise, we’ve been doing fine and he’s off tomorrow and Sunday.

Later…

No, Tom did definitely not fuck with the cable. He also didn’t put his shoes on top of the phone cord.

We went swimming when he got home after he ate. Then we used our new deep fryer to do up chicken wings for me and tater tots for him. The chicken wings were great! Just like the Buffalo ones I used to order from Quickies back east.

I also tried to print out pictures, but they were either too dark or too light. Tom said it may crash and cause some problems. Yup, it crashed.

He showed me how to see how many bytes I have left on my disk. I’ve got a third of the disk left.

Kim left a message wanting to know Alex’s address. She’ll call back tomorrow night.

No calls from Fran tonight. How shocking. There were a few hang-ups today, though. He’ll get his fuck you letter in the next few days, so I’m sure I’ll hear all about it. Andy got a message from him last night, too. He was going off on him saying he was going to ruin his reputation with his local drag queens. Like Andy really cares? Yeah, right.

Think I’ll go watch TV.

Share to Pinterest THURSDAY, JULY 21, 1994 Well, I did finish typing up #40. I don’t know if I’ll start from the lowest # I left off with and go up in order, or what. If I were to go in order from here on out, that’d mean I’d be doing #11 next.

I just made some coffee and took an Ibuprofen. I had a headache brewing, but it’s going away now. Ibuprofen’s a wonderful thing to have.

Tom and I swam after he got home and had a couple of sandwiches. The water’s like bathwater.

Wish I could’ve been next door to see their reaction when they read Fran’s letter to Sabrina. They seem like the type who’d puke over the sexual part of it. They probably threw it away before they got done reading the whole thing.

Yesterday, or the day before actually, we called in for that Phase-Out thing for quitting smoking. I can’t wait till it gets here and I hope there’s no delay like with my workout equipment.

Fran left a message at midnight his time, thinking it was 10:00 here at the time. He said that “Ranger Rick” was there. Yeah, I could hear him in the background.

I’ll be calling Andy when I get up tomorrow. Supposedly he’s still coming over.

I trimmed my bangs a while ago. Boy, did they need it, and I layered them this time.

Later…

I’ve never wanted to kill Fran more in my whole life. The nerve of that boy! First the stupid little fuck leaves us messages (me and Andy), then calls the Police Department. There was a message from a Michelle saying they got calls there at the department and they were calling to see if I knew anything about a “Sabrina M.” God, have I had it with his shit! I literally want to smear his face all over the wall! He’s got a “fuck you and fuck off” letter coming, but for all I know, he’ll probably turn around and call my Police Department after calling his and say I’ve got dead bodies here for ignoring him and trying to get attention. I’ve had it with his shit and I don’t care if he calls my parents or any other O’s listed. Neither Tom nor I will talk to him and he can waste all the money he wants on leaving messages. He, Nervous, and anyone else I left behind in that shit city are history. If Andy wants to associate with him, that’s his choice.

Speaking of Andy, he was over here today. He typed a letter and dubbed some tapes.

Here’s another weird thing that happened today. About 3 people called asking if I paged them. Right away I thought it was Andy cuz we used to do that. It wasn’t him, though, so I have no idea who did it. The only thing I can think of is that Fran knows a few people with beepers. They never said they were out of state, though, and I didn’t ask. Oh well, what can I say? I ain’t about to let it ruin my life.

Andy’s mailing my letters for me as well as Tammy and them guy’s banner.

I got 2 Bob letters and 2 Kim letters. Finally, I got a message on Prodigy from Lisa. It’s so funny and cute, how she misspells certain words. I printed it out and stuck it in #70.

I finished typing up #40 and now I’m doing #41

Later…

Just thought I’d quickly jot down a few lines before I go and watch a movie.

Andy said that the letter he sent Don is the talk of his complex. It’s a maintenance guy there who everyone hates, and Andy sent a letter hitting on him. As a fem, not a woman.

He also called Fran and told him to fuck off and out of both of our lives. Sure enough, he left a whiny crying message wanting to know what was going on.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 20, 1994 I’m anxious for when Tom gets home so we can do the finishing touches on Piggy’s cage and move him in.

We had a humid spell for a few days where it was 67% humid. That’s high for Arizona. It’s now drying up, though, so it’ll be nice to switch back to the EC and pump some fresh air in here.

No mail for me today, but I sent out two letters. One to Bob, and the other to my parents. I still have to finish Tammy and Bill’s banner. I think I’ll go do that now before I type more.

Later…

I just finished Tammy and Bill’s banner. It came out OK but could’ve been better. My God, it took an hour? It seems like it only took me half an hour to do.

Piggy is officially moved into his new cage! He loves it too, and he’s got so much more room. I love to sit and watch him. There’s a piece of wood across the top of his cage and I took a long, thick gold chain and hung his salt spool down on it.

Going to go do some typing now, but I will write more later on. I hope to finish typing #40.

MONDAY, JULY 18, 1994 Tom came home a little early and we went swimming and printed pictures, using the program he wrote.

We also used our new deep fryer to make French fries. It was so good.

According to Andy, next door oughta have gotten Fran’s letter to Sabrina today. They’ve been so quiet, but I figured they were well overdue after the wake-up calls and ball games they gave me during the cooler months. I sure hope they don’t come over to ask me about it, to ask if I know an Amy C, I mean.

Andy may come over to do some audio dubbing and to use the pool this Thurs.

Tom went to bed a short while ago and tomorrow we’re going to work on several different things.

Now there are 13 sheets of paper (Bob’s letters) in Kim’s manila envelope. Call it 14, actually, cuz I’m sure I’ll stick a 1-page letter in it.

Did I mention that I have to wait about another 30 days for my workout stuff? That pisses me off. We should get a discount for this.

What shall I go do on the computer now? Nothing, I guess, cuz I think I wanna go watch a movie I taped. Gotta eat something, too.

Later…

Got up at 11:00 this morning. Tom got my refills on my meds and we’re 99% done with Piggy’s cage. He can move in tomorrow evening when Tom gets home from work.

The doorbell rang today and I thought it might be next door to ask if we knew an Amy C. It was someone from the cable company instead. If they haven’t come to ask us yet, then it’s doubtful that they ever will.

I did quite a bit of typing on #40. It was June 27th that I came to this house for the very first time. The same date I began this book one year ago.

I spoke with Fran and Andy today. Nothing much has changed with Fran. He’s the same old dude.

I rarely speak to my parents. I called them 2 or 3 times when I was doing the banners, but they almost never call here. Not that we can’t live without it, but I don’t appreciate them saying they’re going to send a dishwasher or a check and not doing either. The candlesticks were plenty, though, and we can get our own dishwasher.

SUNDAY, JULY 17, 1994 Before I forget, I want to mention my one and only last hope of getting the fuck off of cigarettes. Tom showed me an ad for something that’s the opposite of the patch. (which didn’t help worth shit) I’d like to try it but it’s $40, so we’ll wait and see.

Andy just called and now I just turned off the ringer cuz I know the phone will ring if I write or get busy.

The wedding and the wedding reception were really nice. The reception was at Mary’s house. There were about 20-30 people.

Can you believe I have a niece almost as old as me, and a grandniece?

So, Tom’s brother Ray and his wife Nora gave us a check for $30. Marjorie says that Tom’s aunt Evelyn has something for us at her house.

David and Evie were there along with others.

Mary didn’t look as I expected. I thought she’d have short hair, but it’s to her lower back and she looked a little younger than I’d counted on.

She has a 3-bedroom house with a curvy-shaped pool. It’s a deeper one with a diving board. She’s got a little waterfall too, but no spa. Evie was saying how they wish they had a spa.

We got them a really nice wall clock for their wedding.

My new dress and shoes fit and looked really nice. Got a blister, though, as my new shoes have to be broken into.

Later…

I just went to make some herbal mint tea. I’ve been very very tight. I think it’s due to the humidity which is due to the storm. It’s raining a little out there, but no thunder and lightning.

Tom’s at Eldon’s fixing a computer problem.

I finished typing up one of the computer programs for picture printing. We’re working on printing out thank you notes to those who gave us money, and pictures for them from the wedding video. I sent a few of the “blooper” printouts to Tammy, Kim, Bob and Fran so they can get an idea of it. Plus, I’m not sending any proofs to Kim, Bob and certainly not to Fran. I also scanned my sketch in 4 different sizes for my parents, sister, and Kim and Bob.

Tom gave me a good idea. To print out extra copies so I could color each one in differently with different colors of hair and makeup. Good idea and this way I won’t ruin the original.

Nervous will never get another letter or call from me, and I’m done with Fran after we get the phone bill. I’m sick of them, and this way I save time and money. Writing Kim, Bob and my parents is enough. To Tammy and them guys, though, I use Prodigy. Unless I want to send pictures or something I can’t send through Prodigy.

I still have to make Tammy & Bill’s banner.

I’m using a manila envelope to send Kim Bob’s letters once I get 20-30 or so.

So, Bob is getting all my letters, I guess. So far, he’s only missing #3. Soon I’ll send out #20. I told you how I began to number them all. To also save stamps with letters to Bob, I’m no longer sending daily letters. Plus, I don’t always have time for that. I have too many other things I want and need to do. I’m writing (or typing I should say) about a page a day and about once a week I’ll send him much longer letters.

FRIDAY, JULY 15, 1994 Well, it’s Linda Ronstadt’s birthday today. How old is she? I lost track, but I know she’s 40-something. Maybe 47 or 48.

Tom will be home soon, but I thought I’d write a little in the meantime. Still no workout thing. What’s the fucking delay?

Andy was over for a couple of hours earlier. He and I hung out at the pool and I typed a letter for him. The letter was to a maintenance guy where he lives who he’s got a crush on. This guy’s straight and prejudiced, so it’s just to freak him out as gorgeous as Andy really does think he is. We didn’t sign it or anything.

I got to thinking about Fran and this Sabrina crap. It’s just getting so old and boring. I’m tired of him always asking about her and his constant calls. Sure the VM picks most of it up, but I’m so sick of him. So, I told him Sabrina was killed by a drunk driver. He reacted both shocked and hurt. Poor poor little Fran.

Got a letter from Kim today, so soon I’ll type out some letters.

Later…

When Tom came home we went to Payless where I got white high-heeled pumps. They’re exactly like my black ones with thicker heels. My black ones are all stretched out and they don’t really go with my new dress. My low-heeled black pumps as well as my white ones are too tight, believe it or not.

I’m pissed cuz I got a postcard about my 1-2-3 Tone-Up equipment saying that there’ll be a 30-day delay.

Later…

Hey, I just had an idea. Well, I’m getting really sick of copying letters so, after BOL #11 is done, I’ll speak all my letters onto tapes. I’ll say what the date is the day I get the letter, who it’s from, and read it in. I’ll also keep a list of how many letters I get from each person and the total # of letters that are on each tape. Lastly, I’ll put on the tape (write it on a label) the date I began and ended the tape. I will speak each letter as they wrote it. So, if they leave out or repeat a word, I’ll say it that way.

I also have something to mention about quitting smoking, but I’m too tired to do so at the moment.

THURSDAY, JULY 14, 1994 I was all set to do lots of writing, but I just decided that I wanted to go for a nice refreshing swim first.

Later…

I wonder if Andy’s going to stop by. He said he may after he goes to the attorney general’s office.

I just went for a swim, but the next swim will probably be with Tom when he gets home from work just like we did last night.

I just got 3 more Bob letters which I’ll copy later.

I already wrote about Fran’s package, but guess where his letter’s going? I sent Andy the letter with their address next door. I cut off the names and addressed it to a fake name, c/o their address. Well, he’s going to address it. This way there’ll be none of my handwriting and our mailman won’t pick it up from here. I can tell these people will be pretty flabbergasted. Especially by the sexual stuff, since they’re so conservative.

No, they haven’t been noisy, but I owe it to them for the times they did wake me up and annoyed the fuck out of me when I was awake here and there. Plus, as soon as the weather cools down, I know there’ll be some basketball games and screaming here and there. Thank God for my fan!

Now, to cover the little stuff before I get to the bigger stuff. I’m typing up computer programs. All that algebra-like formula that runs it. It’s not something I have a certain number of pages to do, though. It’s an ongoing thing. I do a little here and there whenever I can. Just like with copying my journals.

Tom’s picture printing program is a far cry easier than the one I used before, but I still had a problem getting it bigger than 4”. I did 4 Norah pictures, but he’ll have to work on it some more.

We’re going to take and make pictures out of our wedding video and send them off to different people with thank you notes for those that sent money. I’ll send some to Kim, Bob, Fran and my family. Maybe even Nervous.

We got the proofs back from the wedding the other day. They came out nice, except my face looked fat in a few of them. We’re keeping all the proofs and we may make copies someday, but we chose poses for the three 8x10s and the two 5x7s.

Andy sent me 4 pictures he took of me. Two of me in a restaurant that I’m sending one to Tammy and my parents. The other two are the same and they’re of me drawing a flower pot in Andy’s apartment Again, I sent one each to Tammy and my parents, but I cut it from the ass down cuz my legs looked bigger than life itself.

Today’s the day my workout thing from Denise Austin was supposed to come, but so far I haven’t gotten anything yet. A UPS truck did stop in front of the house, but I didn’t see where the driver went. Then he just left.

Can you believe I got another rose book? It’s under the same name of Nora G, too. Probably from Andy, but I keep forgetting to mention it to him. Well, good, then I can just use the pictures I didn’t use before due to using ones on the other sides of them.

Remember how I said I used a permanent marker to number my journals? Well, the marker wasn’t so permanent, so I made those stick labels that you punch in.

I also took out the red lightbulb that was in the hall and replaced it with a regular one. Now I can see better when I’m digging around in the linen closet. I took a little lamp I made in woodshop in 6th grade and put the red bulb in that and put it in the living room.

Last Tuesday I went and closed out my account with Tom. Soon we’ll have a joint checking account. Maybe some kind of savings account, too.

Also, I got a nice floral sundress for Mary’s wedding this Saturday.

Got a new microwave with Tom’s parents' money and it’s great. It’s got much more power and it has a carousel. There’s also a popcorn memory in it which is great for someone who eats it like it’s going out of style.

Got a new journal (#75).

Tuesday we also went to an art store that was like - oh my God! I wanted the whole store. I got a book that shows me how to improve drawing facial features and structures. I thought it’d help a little, but I thought wrong after I copied a sketch of a woman from it. It came out so good! My best ever and I’m so proud of myself. Still can’t believe I did it. I guess these days I can call myself a real artist, rather than just a doodler. This weekend I’m going to scan it so I can send copies to my family and friends.

I also got paints and two figurines. They’re about 10” high and one’s a cactus and the other’s a cowboy boot. It was so much fun doing them and they look great. Can’t wait to do more. I’d like to get two smaller ones (cactuses) and do one for my parents for their anniversary and one for Tammy for her birthday. There’s a paint pen I’d also like to get so I can sign it better and date it. That’s a little hard to do and very awkward with a paintbrush.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13, 1994 Monday, I got Fran’s package. There was a stuffed lion and a stuffed talking teddy bear. You touch its mouth and it makes a kissing sound and says I love you. It’s cute. Maybe all his bullshit was worth it, but the card really shocked me. There were 2 envelopes. One for Sabrina and one for me. Mine was an apology card, which I copied into BOL #11. This is the first time he’s ever admitted to and apologized for something he did wrong. He enclosed a note asking me to tell him how much the calls were for. The phone company will remove the charges, but I’ll tell him anyway. There was also a 3-page letter for Sabrina and 3 pictures. One looked pretty goofy, but the other 2 were OK.

MONDAY, JULY 11, 1994 Got up at 4:30 this morning. I did a load of laundry and I guess I’ll be testing Tom’s computer program today. The picture printing one. I’ll also be typing up computer programs.

Andy left a message yesterday saying how he’s sending copies of pictures he took over the last few months of me. Also, one of Tom and me. He said they came out nice, but that I could send the one of me shot from behind to Nervous to masturbate to. Well, this isn’t a thrilling thing for a husband to have to hear, even though he knew it was a joke. I left him a message not to crack those jokes anymore unless it’s directly to me and not to say how dorky Tom’s picture looks. Tom’s much more polite, conservative and sensitive and it made me feel very uncomfortable, too.

Yesterday was a busy, yet fun day. We worked more on Piggy’s cage and swam a lot. Went food shopping, too.

Tomorrow will be very busy.

SUNDAY, JULY 10, 1994 Well, I didn’t wake up choking, so that’s good.

Yesterday I copied two of the drawings Bob sent and they came out okay. I’m going to try to do even better copies to send to my family.

SATURDAY, JULY 9, 1994 Andy and I left each other messages all day yesterday and he said, yes, it was a real cop who called. He said the guy never called back and wasn’t supposed to call off duty like he did. See? He’s always been the lucky one. If that were me, they’d call or come to my door, but definitely subpoena me.

He mentioned maybe coming over, but I don’t know how long I’ll be up or what Tom and I are doing.

Can you believe I got no calls from Fran? I did get a letter from Bob and Brian, though.

I talked to my dad who got the banners and really liked them. He said they may take pictures, too. I guess the banners got there just in time since they do the flea market on weekends only.

Now I’m going to go finish typing #52 and type a few letters.

Later…

I finished typing #52 and I started with #49. Haven’t typed any letters yet, but I will.

I may or may not be getting new journals today. Don’t know yet what’s going on. I’d still like to get smaller journals for Tammy, Mom and Dad, and Andy, but we’ll have to see. I still wonder if I should take a journal and not only do more stories but maybe a subject breakdown of what topics are covered in each journal.

Later…

Well, I started going through journals 1, 2 & 3, doing subject notes, but I ditched the idea. It’d be just too much work that I don’t care to do.

I had to spray in the bathroom a little while ago, cuz there are ants in there.

Tom will be getting up anytime now, I guess.

I’m going to go lay down for a while cuz I’m tired after how I was viciously woken up. I don’t know what happened. I guess the contents of my stomach came up into my throat. I awoke choking and coughing pretty badly.

Later…

Tom went out to the hardware store and also to get us something to eat. In the meantime, I wish the mail would hurry up and get here.

Remember the very very old cassette player my mom has had since I was little? Well, since I’ve been here I’ve had it in the back room, but now that Tom got the portable CD/cassette player, I brought it into the bedroom. I put it on the shelf by my bed. So like old times, I can play them before bed or while I write, like I am now, and not have to worry about turning off a main power switch.

Tom finally managed to get his picture-printing program to work after working on it so long and hard. He did 4 pictures of Norah in 4 different sizes. I put the biggest one on the sides of my shelves and the second to biggest one in the front of this book. Inside the front cover.

Been nice and quiet next door. It’s too hot for anyone to be out. I was, but I have a pool. I went swimming a few hours ago.

I just had to take my inhaler. That shit I used to spray the ants with is so gross! Earlier I was going to spray the big cactus down with the plastic sealer, but no way. My lungs have had enough for today.

This Tuesday we’re going to go out and do some shopping. Gotta get Mary and David a wedding present, buy something with our wedding money, and I may get more journals.

FRIDAY, JULY 8, 1994 Fuck no! Shit am I mad! Yesterday when I opened the front door to see if there were any packages, guess what else I saw? They’re back! I don’t fucking believe this shit! I thought she said they’d be gone all summer. I know she did. Hey, I just got married so I’m due for compensation, right? I didn’t see the kids, but I saw a green car in their driveway and the red van was parked in the street. I could see a folded crib in it, along with lots of boxes and shit like that. Oh God, why did you have to send them back so soon? I’d rather listen to 1 of my own than 5 of someone else’s, and I know that’s what I’ll be doing. Even though the days are too hot and their windows and doors may be shut, I’m sure they’ll be screaming through the sprinklers, and out at night. I swear I’ll make their lives a living hell if they make any hell for me. Why God? I mean, it’s been sooo wonderfully quiet around here. Please let it stay that way!

Later…

Got 1 Bob letter yesterday which began BOL #11.

Today or tomorrow my parents should get the banners. Maybe even Monday. Yesterday I made up a banner with my nieces’ names on them and today I’ll probably do Tammy and Bill’s banner.

Sure enough, Fran left a message pleading with me to call him back and to please accept Sabrina’s package.

Andy also left a message saying he’s suing Denny’s for discrimination. He says they treat everyone like shit, but he got written up for the dumbest thing and he’s sick of their bullshit. He reminded me that there were some blacks who sued them for 40 million, so he could use a mil from them. I guess he knows someone who has a lady friend who’s a lawyer.

I say go for it. I know just how the hell he feels. I remember when we were working together in Chicopee.

Oh, almost forgot. Tom’s parents sent a wedding card and a check for $250. How nice!

Later…

Tom got up about 15 minutes ago saying I read his mind. He didn’t want to get up and cook, but he didn’t have to cuz I made pork chops. Now I’m going to go do some more video editing.

Later…

Tom’s gone off to work, but guess what he set up for me before he left? Another monitor, so when I do video editing, I can look and see what I’ve done without having to keep on taking out the tape I’m editing from and sticking the one I’m editing onto in there. It’s neat to see the same or different things playing on two screens at once.

Tom says he really only thinks they’re visiting the father next door since the peak of the summer hasn’t even hit yet. Maybe for some reason, Dean couldn’t get away to fly to Idaho. I hope they go back, but it has been quiet so far.

I just played on Andy’s machine the Madonna message from the tapes Kim sent. I also changed our outgoing message to the Star Trek one. We have each other’s code so we can listen to each other’s messages. Every now and then I play all of his. Especially when I’m taping them, as he likes me to do every so often. There was one from a Scottsdale police officer, supposedly wanting to talk to Mark about the phone calls he’s been making. Please expect a return call, he’s not going to stop calling till they talk.

Hmm… I wonder if it was for real or just someone playing a joke on him. It was left on June 17th. It sounded real enough, and at about that time, he said he wasn’t going to answer his phone. He said it was to avoid Sarah, though.

I remember how shitty my luck was compared to his, though. He could continuously call someone and not get trapped, whereas I’d call someone a few times and get caught. It’ll never amount to anything if it’s for real. He’ll never go to court or anything.

THURSDAY, JULY 7, 1994 I think I forgot to mention that Tom got clear contact paper and a spray-on plastic sealer for my wall art. The plastic sealer works great and now I don’t have to worry about any more runs. The clear contact paper will keep them protected too, but you can see the seams. First he tested the spray by spraying the balloons I did in the kitchen/back room archway. When we saw how great it worked, we did my favorite one. The one of the cat and vase of flowers sitting on a table. Now all we have to spray is the cactus, a hanging plant and the palm tree in the hall. To hell with the design I did on the mailbox, the rainbow and tulip and the picture of multi-colors above the living room wall heater. The ones I put contact paper on are the flowers and the little girl in my bedroom, the vase of flowers and pot of leaves in the living room and the designs in the hall and in the door frame of the hall/living room.

Later…

We all know that right before a woman’s period is when she’s not only the horniest but tends to think more about having a kid. Well, I guess at least most women know this. I guess it’s got something to do with the hormones.

So anyway, early on the morning of the 6th, I was doing dishes and had to stop cuz my heart was beating so hard and so fast. It had been doing that for hours. This panic came over me when I thought of having to wait till 1996 to maybe have a kid. And all I could think about was my singing, too. I began to feel like my life would be on hold and at a complete standstill for a year or two, and I just didn’t know what to do in the meantime. I’m not exactly the most patient person there is. I’m far from it.

I began to worry that something bad would happen or I’d be compensated for being so blessed with Tom and AZ.

Right now, cuz I have my period, I feel like I’ve slipped back into reality and I wish I could stay here all the time. Why is it that telling myself what I’d have to go through if I were to be a mom always isn’t enough to take away the desire? I can think of lots of reasons for both not being a mom and for being a mom.

I talked to Tammy after I talked to Tom who said nobody would do anything to me or disown me, but she said that I won’t have a life, kids only sleep a few hours, and this and that. While this is all very true and that should stop the desire, I also see it the other way around. That I don’t have the kind of life that I’d have to give up to begin with. Meaning, how often do I go out? Hardly ever. I don’t want to be in any other career other than music and if I were doing something with music, then we’d most definitely have the money to pay for daycare or a babysitter. The only real thing I’d be giving up is sleep and probably some sanity, but look at Gloria. She’s got a husband and a kid. I’m not saying it’s easy, though.

I don’t know what to do or think. I mean, I feel great right now, but what about in 3 weeks? I guess I’ll always have desires here and there to have a kid. For a while, I felt like a freak. Asking myself how I could want something I couldn’t handle physically or mentally. Tom says it’s perfectly normal, he just knows I’m not sterile, I will be a mom cuz he can see that’s what I want and that it is mutual. We’ll see, but the two most important #1 things that I’ll always want as a top priority are Tom and my singing. That comes above anything else in this world.

Later…

I forgot to mention something else about Tom. Yesterday morning after he got up and talked with me, he went to lie down for a while. After a ½ hour or so, I got the urge to go cuddle up with him. I opened the door quietly thinking he’d be asleep, but I could’ve sworn he was doing himself while lying on his stomach. I could be wrong, but if he was - fine. Whatever turns him on. I do the same thing when he’s not here or is asleep.

He just got up, so I’ll write more later.

One more quick thing - got my ring in a 4½ and it’s the perfect fit. So beautiful, too!

Later…

Now for Fran’s bullshit. I’m fucking 3,000 miles away and having problems with him. No more and no fucking way! I don’t care about getting Sabrina’s letters. He’s not worth it, especially with the little confession he left on the VM last night. I had a feeling about it too. He said he billed two calls to us, is sorry, knows it was wrong, but is sending Sabrina a package. Sorry doesn’t cut it this time. I talked to Tom about it and if there are any calls on the bill, we’ll get blocks. The fucking operators always break the rules. I should know. I used to bill calls here and there. If they hear a desperado like Fran pleading with them, they just feel bad for him and foot the bill to us. No fucking way. I’m not going to deal with this fucking shit from across the country. I better call Andy and warn him, cuz if he billed calls to Nervous and me, he billed calls to him, too.

Later…

I didn’t get any mail yesterday, but I hope to today.

Tom’s in the shower now, but when he gets out, I’ll tell him to just hang up if Fran calls and I’ll do the same. He can waste all his time calling and leaving all kinds of messages.

As for Sabrina, well, she can stop on over and write to him saying that she’d still be his pen pal, but would never give Fran her number if she had a phone cuz of how he billed calls to Jodi. That Jodi doesn’t want anything to do with him, that was a raunchy thing for a friend to do, etc.

Guess I’ll go work on a banner for Tammy and all them guys.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 6, 1994 Got my period today, but only spotting, as that’s usually how my first day is. I thought I was due on the 4th, but when I checked my chart, I realized I was due today.

I sure got mail yesterday, 5 letters from Bob and 1 from Kim. The next letter I get will begin BOL #11.

I have stuff to tell, but I’ll probably type it all. I have several letters to type. Well, not several. Only to Bob and Kim for now. Maybe I’ll type my sister and parents. Nah - I’ll wait a while. I have enough other stuff I can do for now. I’ll wait till I hear from my parents about the banners, and type Tammy when I send their banners.

TUESDAY, JULY 5, 1994 OK, time to catch up on all that’s been going on. The stickers on the next few pages of my journal are really neat. They’re felt-like.

Yesterday I was due for my period, but it looks like I’ll be getting it sometime today. Tom guessed 7:42 this morning. On the 1st I had massive pre-cramps. On the 2nd, very little and on the 3rd, barely any at all. They’re picking up now.

I finished all 5 of Mom’s banners. Tom got manila envelopes. Altogether the banners take up 28 pieces of paper. I’ll mail them off tomorrow. Tom also got photo mailers for whenever our wedding pictures get here. I hope they came out OK.

Andy, or someone, but I’m quite sure it was Andy, mailed a big hardcover book on rose gardening. It came under the name of Nora Gannon. It was filled with all kinds of beautiful pictures of roses. The sizes ranged from a few inches square to two full pages. So, as hard and as time-consuming as it was, I ripped the cover, binder and glue off, cut out pictures and grouped them by size. The archway that separates the kitchen and back room were what I used for the smallest pictures. I put them all the way around it and about 8 on the kitchen walls above the table. The big ones I put on two of my bedroom walls from near the ceiling to a little past halfway down. It looks really nice, and there are so many that it makes the other two walls sort of bare looking. I’ll have to take care of that.

Later…

Just had a cigarette and went to the bathroom. There are ants in there, so I’ll let Tom know.

While I was asleep Tom started building Piggy’s cage. So far, so good. He’s been doing lots of computer programming, too.

I hope I get mail today. Hey, I wonder if I’ll ever hear from Cassandra? Well, she’s got my number and address, so it’s up to her.

Tom and I are doing great. As far as him not cumming, well, he says the difference between him being close and actually cumming is very much a psychological thing. With the way he always comes so close makes me think he’s just holding back. I can only think of two reasons why he’d do this. Cuz he doesn’t want to make a mess and doesn’t want a kid till 1996. He doesn’t know for sure if he’ll even want one then cuz he doesn’t want to decide till then. He says he wants to wait till nothing’s going on. Good luck, I told him. Something’s always going on cuz that’s life. Part of me thinks he wants a kid and a slightly bigger part says he doesn’t. Either way, he’d be a great dad. When I said I didn’t think it was a guy thing, he disagreed. Despite what year it is and what’s going on, I don’t think my maker wants that for us, even though I sometimes think about it a little more than I’d like to.

I guess that’s all there is to say right now. Going to go watch more of a movie I taped, then do some typing.

MONDAY, JULY 4, 1994 More dorky stickers from TV dinners, but they serve my growing collection well.

No mail today all cuz of a stupid war we won a couple of hundred years ago. Like, who the fuck cares?

Now, I have some very good, yet shocking news. I called my mom and as we were about to hang up, I said, “I love to make and create things. It’s too bad I couldn’t send you some drawings to sell.” I was basically joking, but then she came out and said, “Remember the Happy Father’s Day banner you made for Dad? Well, we could use some at the flea market.”

So, I got a pen and wrote down:

Lighted Halloween and Christmas $49 Sports $20 ea. Christmas Halloween Thanksgiving She told me about how long she wanted each banner, and to draw things to represent certain things. Cats, pumpkins, Christmas trees, etc. I got 2 banners done. One’s got 12 pieces of computer paper. It is long. I began it with a silhouette of a cat, a ghost and a pumpkin. Then, I wrote out lighted Halloween and Christmas $49 in all different colors and designs. Then, I put a flowery thing, a leaf, a Christmas tree and a Santa Claus hat. Tomorrow I’ll do the others, but I could not believe that my own mother asked me to do anything with my artwork for her. She just never seemed to care.

Then, I called and told Tammy and she said, “So, make me one.” OK, I got some ideas on that for tomorrow, too.

I have other things to write about, too, but I’ve been running non-stop. I’ll save it for later.

SUNDAY, JULY 3, 1994 Well, the government didn’t screw up this month. Soon I’ll close the account.

I got 4 Bob letters today. He put 2 in 1 envelope, so I got 2 envelopes. Haven’t heard from Kim, so she must be busy. Hope she got her answering machine tapes back OK.

According to Fran they now have voice mail systems there, but you know he may be full of shit. Fran and I spoke earlier. Supposedly he’s sending a package here.

David and Evie sent a wedding card with a check for $50. How nice. There was also a picture of Nickolena saying - To Aunt “Jody” & Uncle Tom. Eventually, she’ll realize I spell my name with an “i” but I’m plenty used to it. Just like mom wrote - Mr. & Mrs. “Thomas” S on the envelope.

I just typed Bob a letter and later I’ll do Kim’s.

SATURDAY, JULY 2, 1994 I had an awesome idea. To go out and buy 3 journals. None of which I would want for myself cuz they’d be either ugly or duplicates of ones I already have. Then, do 1 for my parents, 1 for Tammy, and 1 for Andy. That’d surely surprise them.

I’m out in the kitchen now writing and sipping on my coffee. Andy may call anytime. He worked from 5 PM - I think midnight.

Bob sent me 2 letters in 1 envelope and soon I’ll type to him, Kim, and maybe my parents. I may wait to type to them till after I get the dishwasher. Thank God Tom knows how to quickly and easily set it up. It’d take me quite a while to figure it out. There’s nothing the two of us couldn’t do, though.

In two hours, there’s a good movie on Cinemax. At least I think it’ll be good.

The more I think about writing journals for Tammy, Mom and Dad, and Andy, the more I like the idea. It’d take time, though, cuz I’ve got enough other stuff I like to do. What a surprise it would be for all of them. I know it’s something they’d really really like. I also wouldn’t tell them I was doing it. I would let it be a surprise.

For the hell of it, I just went to see if this, and skinnier journals, would fit into the mailers we used to send the videos in. They’re too wide, but that’s cool, cuz I’d probably use smaller journals anyway. The kind like the old tiny ones I used to have before I copied them into regular-size books like this one and mailed them off to Fran. They used to be #’s 5, 6, 8, & 10.

I’ve sure been doing my share of pre-cramping today. I took my vitamin E to help my ease my sore boobs. No wonder I’ve been less bloated lately. I just realized why, and it makes perfect sense. I’ve cut way, way down on dairy foods.

I’m still bigger than I’d like to be and I can’t wait till I get the Denise Austin thing. I’m also getting Velcro weights you stick on your wrists and ankles. Those are great no matter what you’re doing. You can do your house cleaning with them. I feel like I’d have to get down to 90 pounds to look like I did the last time I weighed 95 pounds. What’s going to happen when I have to get down to 85 pounds to look like I’m 95 pounds? Fuck that shit!

Later…

That mother-fucking son of a bitch of a printer! Can’t that fucking thing go more than a month without fucking up on me? Guess I’ll have to have Tom print it out. I sensed it too. Whenever there’s going to be a problem, I sense it like I can sense spiders. I tried to print address labels too, but those are all fucked up. For now, I’m just going to write my letters and envelopes.

Anyway, I just got done watching a movie that was good.

Andy didn’t call, so he must’ve crashed when he got home.

I’m still here at the kitchen table, but I’m going to take this book into bed and get comfy.

Later…

Tom’s up now and he’s going out soon to get us breakfast from Jack-n-the-Box.

Tom showed me what to do the next time I ever have a problem printing.

I’m getting so tired. Hopefully, after I eat I’ll get a second wind.

FRIDAY, JULY 1, 1994 Another 115º day out there. Well, I slept through most of it anyway. I didn’t get up till 4:30 this afternoon.

I talked to Andy for a while. He wants to train at home to do computer repairs and he asked me if I’d teach him computer terminology. Can you believe that?! Who would’ve ever thought there’d be a day when someone would want me to teach them anything about computers?

He said he was also calling airlines and could only get tickets to Bradley for $600! God, that’s a lot of fucking money. He finally found that TWA has tickets to Logan Airport in Boston for $388. That poor guy’s going to have 6-7 hours of flying (with no smoking), then a 2-3-hour drive from Boston to Springfield. He’s going from August 19-29.

I hope he can find time to hunt down Fran and Nervous.

Well, I have some very lovely news and that is that this is the closest I’ve ever come to a period date with no symptoms. I’m due on the 4th, but like clockwork, it’ll be here.

I finished typing #10, then headed for those quickies. I typed up all of #62. Next is #53, then #51, #49 and #40.

No letters for me in the mail today, but Tom showed me how to order that Denise Austin workout thing with his credit card. In two weeks, I’ll have it.

Andy got my letter today and said it was so funny. Glad he liked it.

So, I wonder when the dishwasher will arrive? If I knew, I’d know when to stop washing dishes and save them for the dishwasher. I’m not going to ask them, though, and this way it’ll be more of a surprise.

Later…

Andy worked from 10 PM - 2 AM to get extra money for his August vacation.

I just chatted with Tammy who says there hasn’t been much change lately. I told her Andy would be there in August. I don’t know how he’ll get there, though, since his car will be here. I’ll have to ask him.

I changed the calendars in the kitchen and the living room. Later I’ll change mine and Tom’s. The ones in our rooms.

I can’t wait till we build Piggy his new cage. I hope we can do that this month.

This weekend we’re probably going to set up the other EC. Since we switched to the AC and since I dusted, it’s been so much easier to breathe. I can’t vacuum till Saturday, though, cuz the belt broke on the fucking vacuum.

It has been sooooo quiet here and I love it sooooooo much. Wish it were like this all year round.

Tom will be getting up any time now, from now till 6:00.

Bob’s letters have slowed down a bit. I guess he’s having trouble getting stamps. Today, or before the week’s out, I’ll probably get 3 letters in 1 envelope like the last time.

Wow! It’s actually chilly in here now. What a difference, but later it’ll be a bit warmer cuz I’m sure it’ll be another scorcher out there. Let me go adjust it.

Later…

Tom’s up now, so I’ll be writing in intervals. I wonder if we’re going to have any surprise spontaneous get-togethers. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I may not be pre-cramping, but I sure am hornier. That tells me the curse is on its way. Not that I figured it’d forget me.

Tom’s making a sandwich right now and I caught him nearly making a very big mistake. He makes his sandwiches with margarine, peanut butter and jelly. But, instead of pulling out the jelly, he pulled out the spaghetti sauce.

Well, what should I do now? Nothing, I guess. Just veg out. I’ll do some more writing later.

0 notes

moralesispunk · 2 years

Text

Out of Hours (Professor Pike x F! Reader)

Summary: Marcus Pike has taken up office in the room across the hall from your PhD tutor’s and it seems like neither of you can get enough of each other

Warnings: penetrative (p in v) sex, unprotected sex, creampie, ass slapping (this is Marcus), kissing, age gap relationship (10-15 years although not explicitly mentioned how big), a little fluff in there too

*****

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We can’t do this.”

The words hung in the air between panting breaths; a verbal acknowledgement that this is something that you shouldn’t be doing not working to put a stop to the way his palms skimmed across your thighs beneath your skirt or the way your nails dug into his shoulders over his white shirt.

Professor Pike - not your professor directly but rather one who had settled in the office across from your tutor’s - had joined the University at the start of the year after a career change while you were heading into your second year of your PhD. You had first crossed paths on the day he moved into the office, his head looking up to where you had knocked on his office door as you held out some mail that had been delivered for him.

You had never really cared much about your job as administrative assistant to the art history department. It was enough to pay the rent and bills as you studied but now that it brought you to his office at least once a day and his messy hair and friendly smile always greeted you with “how was your day?” or “there was a documentary on at the weekend, I think you would be interested in,” it was enough that you started to look forward to coming into work, holding onto his mail till last so you could spend an extra minute in his office. Your relationship had never strayed from this set-up, kind and friendly remarks that were enough to put a smile on your face for the rest of the day, until just after the Fall break.

Every so often you had to stay late to work through whatever admin the professors had decided to land on your desk at exactly 5 on the dot, and this night you were staying particularly late. You had bumped into Marcus in the kitchen, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise as you stepped in to pour yourself a cup of coffee and he had asked you what you were doing here so late. Small talk soon turned to both of you sitting at the table, an hour passing before you jumped up and realized you were five minutes from missing the last bus home with your car in the garage. He had offered to take you but you politely declined, taking a second you really didn’t have to come back and wish him a goodnight before you ran for the bus.

That one night turned to two and then two turned to three, the both of you finding your way to the kitchen or his office to chat after a long day, and suddenly here you were months later tumbling into his office as his arm wrapped around your waist and his mouth pressed to yours the second his office door swung open.

His hands slid down your body, grabbing and squeezing as he went before he gripped the back of your thighs and held you up against the door. His mouth moved hungirly against yours, his tongue slipping inside as he lifted you from the door and carried you to the desk where he moved whatever had been left there with a frustrated groan before he settled you on the cold wood.

His hand gripped the side of your neck as he dragged his lips across your cheek and along your jaw before he sucked on the point just below your ear that had you shaking. He had learned what you liked quickly, his mouth spreading to a smile that was pressing against your skin as his hands continued to slide up your legs.

It was then you both uttered your “we shouldn’t” and “we can’t” but neither of you moved, your hands coming up to the back of his head as your fingers threaded into his hair and he kissed lower, down to your chest. His lips dragged along the square neck of your t-shirt, his hands coming to hold beneath your breasts and push up as he kissed and licked back and forth, and your head was thrown back, your hips rocking forward and grinding against his as he stepped closer between your legs.

“Fuck,” he sighed, “you come here in this skirt today, do you know how hard it's been to even pretend to concentrate?”

You gasped as his teeth grazed across your skin, his hands spreading across your sides and bunching up the t-shirt that was tucked into your floral skirt higher and higher until he had pulled it over your head and you were left in your bra. He took a moment to look, his tongue wetting his bottom lip as his eyes flicked up to yours.

“Did you wear the skirt to tease me?”

“It- it was warm today, I-”

You stopped when he tugged your bra down, lips wrapping around one of your nipples as his hand coming to pull and twist on the other.

“Is that the only reason?” He mumbled against your skin.

You shook your head, looking down with a smirk.

“Naughty girl,” he lifted his head, shaking it up at you before his hands slid up the inside of your thighs and his fingers danced along the seam of your underwear. “I think maybe you deserve a punishment for that…”

He slipped you off the desk, turning you around quickly and bending you over until your front was flush against the cool surface. Your hands slapped down against the wood, catching yourself as he gathered up the material of your skirt and flipped it over your ass.

“Marcus!” You gasped his name as his hands palmed your soft skin, spreading you open as you let your forehead fall against the desk.

You tried to think if anyone else was still in the building; sometimes the other admin assistant, Luke, liked to stay late and the walls really weren’t that thick-

“No one else is here, don’t worry,” Marcus calmed your racing mind, noticing how your body had tensed beneath his.

His words made you relax and you looked back over your shoulder at him, his eyes that had been firmly staring at the point between your legs flicking up to yours and you raised an eyebrow, wiggling your hips back at him. His mouth that had been hanging open stretched to a grin, his teeth biting the corner of his bottom lip as he shook his head.

“I haven’t forgotten how you’ve teased me all day, honey.” His hands let go of you, his fingers working to unbutton his shirt sleeves at the wrist before rolling them up to his forearms. He did it slowly, his face giving nothing away as he stared back at you and you were completely at his mercy, your back arching slightly as he raised an eyebrow while a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “First you wear this skirt,” he spoke lowly, a rasp catching on his words from how needy he was becoming. His hand came down against your ass and your chest lurched forward against the wood, your forehead coming to rest back against the desk before he spoke again. “Then in the meeting you walk by and press yourself up against me.” Another slap in the same spot and you bit down on your lip. “And then you send me a photo of that pretty lace bra you’re wearing today.” This slap harder than the others, the moan slipping from your mouth as his hand stayed in place, sliding down between your legs to pull your underwear to the side.

“Look how wet you are,” he groaned, his finger dipping through your folds before sliding towards your clit and making your whole body shake. “Is this how wet you get when you spend the whole day teasing me?”

“I’ve been like this all day,” you huffed, impatient and wanting him to touch you where you needed him most.

“You should have come to see me earlier.” You could hear the smile in his voice, his fingers moving back and forth and skimming over where you needed him. “I could have had a taste of you right here on the desk. Or maybe I’d have let you sit under it and suck my cock as I marked some papers, hm?”

“Marcus, I need you,” you whined, trying to push back against him but his hand on your hip stopped you.

“What do you want?”

“You.” Your voice went higher as he slid his fingers back along your folds and pushed two in to curl deep inside you, his thumb pressing against your clit at the same time.

“You have me,” he replied, smirking down at you as you moaned loudly. He leaned over you, his broad chest pressing you harder against the desk as he licked behind your ear and brought it between his teeth before he spoke again. “I need you to be specific, honey. Be a good girl and use your words and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Your cock Marcus! I want it, please, I need it inside, I-” You cut yourself off with a moan as you heard a zip lower and felt his fingers slip out before the head of his cock swiped through your folds, pushing slowly inside and letting you feel every ridge and vein until he was all the way in and he pulled back to stand over you. “Fuck, Marcus,” you managed to gasp.

“Is this what you wanted?” He punctured the end of his sentence as he pulled out and thrust back in. “Hm? You come in wearing this skirt today and want me to bend you over the desk and fuck you with my cock?”

“It was hot out-”

Marcus’s hands gripped your hips before fucking into you hard and fast as your words caught in your throat and you could barely take a breath in.

“I think,” he said through gritted teeth, “we both know that's not true, is it honey?”

His hand pressed on the bottom of your back, your arms falling flat against the table as he continued to pound into you and your fingers gripped the edge of the table. His hand began to slide up your back before holding the back of your neck and keeping you there as his other hand gripped your hip.

“Can you touch yourself?” He panted above you, his thumb drawing circles against your hip as he waited for an answer.

You wanted to answer him but you couldn't find your voice, instead nodding your head and letting your cheek rub against the desk while sliding your hand down and pressing it between your legs. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, his shirt still on and now rolled up at the sleeves with the top couple of buttons undone while he was now missing his tie. You guessed that he had taken it off the second his office hours finished, his hands always itching to loosen it that bit more during the day until he could finally be free of it.

His hand on your hip lifted to run through his hair, dragging it down his face before he landed another slap on your ass and he went back to gripping your hip.

Your eyes rolled as you moaned, your fingers still working to bring you closer to the edge as you forced your body to relax and you were left looking up to the shelves of books against the wall. It wasn’t as busy as some of the other professors but not because he didn’t have as much; it was because Marcus would roll his eyes at the cost of the “required reading” list and had started to hand out his own books to his students on the promise they would come back the way they left.

Marucs was like that - kind to a fault, always with a smile - and while his hand raised and he placed another slap right where you knew it would be stinging to sit down tomorrow you smiled, knowing that you got to see this side of him too.

“There you go. that's it,” Marcus groaned as the coil pulled tighter and together in the pit of your stomach.

You could feel his belt dig into the back of your thighs but you didn't care, not when he was moaning your name and hitting something deep inside you that had you seeing stars.

“You're so close already,” he groaned, slowing down slightly, “let me feel you squeeze my cock, honey. Let go for me.”

You could barely warm him before you were coming, his hands holding you against the desk as your legs shook and you were just glad his weight was holding yours up or you would have collapsed on the floor.

“Fuck,” he groaned slowly, “that's it honey.”

You were a mess of moans and gasps, unable to tell him how good it felt as your hand fell back onto the table and he slipped his hand beneath you, pulling you back against his chest as he continued to thrust into you. His hand stayed on your neck, turning your head to face him over your shoulder as his mouth crashed against yours. It was all teeth and tongue, the very definition of a messy kiss, but you both moaned into it as your nails dug into his forearm.

You could tell he was close and your other hand slipped up to hold the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair to keep his mouth against you as his hand slid up from your stomach to your chest, gripping your breast as his hips hit against yours.

He came with a muffled cry of your name, his body pressed as close to yours as possible as he spilled inside and you hummed contently back against him. The kiss slowed until you broke apart, his lips pressing to your forehead as you bit back a smile and closed your eyes.

With still panting breaths, your hands fell against the desk to hold you up as Marcus kissed along your shoulder while fixing your bra. He reached by you to pull a few tissue papers, pulling out with a groan before cleaning your mixed mess as he continued to kiss your shoulder, your neck, your temple, before throwing them in the bin and turning you in his arms.

When his lips pressed against yours they were much softer now, his hands rubbing up and down your arms as you relaxed into his touch.

He was always like this - hungry for you the second you stepped over the threshold of his office as he took you hard and fast like he couldn't hold back until you were both getting dressed again and his touch turned softer, lingering for a second like he didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

When he finally pulled back he kissed your forehead once, doing his belt back up as you scanned around for your shirt.

It had been thrown over the chair and you shook your head with a laugh as Marcus walked around to the other side of the desk, pulling the white material back from being inside out and slipping it over your head.

“Are you hungry?”

You looked up from where you were tucking your t-shirt back into the skirt, glancing quickly at the clock and noticing it was well later than you usually stayed before turning to Marcus. He looked… nervous; his fingers tapping on his desk and his teeth chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“I could eat?” You found yourself staying, not quite sure where this was going.

Maybe he didn't eat his lunch and was offering you to take it, he'd done that once before - the first night he had also drove you home, or maybe he was just making conversation. He walked around the table before stopping in front of you, a large gap between your bodies as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you- Do you want to get some?”

“Food?”

“Yeah, yes, if you want? There's a diner on the way to yours that is open late if you need a lift?”

“I don't need a lift, I- I brought my car,” you said, shaking your head and he nodded, offering a tight lip smile as he placed his hands in his pocket.

“You're right, it's fine, forget it I-”

“No wait,” you stopped him, reaching forward and grabbing his forearm that was still bare with his shirt sleeves bunched up below his elbows. “I’d like to go,” you said slowly and he tilted his head ever so slightly, looking cuter than he should after just bending you over the table and fucking you hard. “I’ll just need to drive my car so I have it in the morning but I could follow you there?”

His nerves turned into a soft smile, his hands sliding from his pockets as he stepped forward against and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“I just need to get a few things but I can meet you down at the entrance?” You nodded back, reaching to squeeze his hand before turning and heading back to the office you worked out from.

It almost felt domestic, the way his kiss had lingered on the edge of your lip as your hand squeezed his before you were both heading down to meet at the door.

You knew you would be lying to say that you hadn’t thought about if there could be more between you, if maybe whatever this was could slip into something else, and so you couldn’t stop the butterflies that swarmed your stomach as you grabbed your jacket and bag and headed down the stairs.

He was already waiting by the door by the time you got to the ground floor, his back leaning against it and his jacket folded over his arm as he held his briefcase.

His head lifted up to look at you, a smile covering his face as he held out a hand towards you and you held your breath, slipping yours into the hold like it was made to fit.

tags

@phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @blackmarketmummy @bison-writes @queridopascal @sfr99 @rosiefridayrogersunday @tintinn16 @pilothusband @voteforpedro09 @dihra-vesa @frankiecatfish @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @transias @peoniarose @pjkimrn @fangirl-316 @niki-xie @potted–ivy @phandoz @janebby @athalien @xocalliexo @amneris21 @lavenderluna10 @iamskyereads @spacenerdpascal @mswarriorbabe80 @dumplinshee @jitterbugs927 @gracie7209 @lovesbiggerthanpride @lowlights @notabotiswear @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @bport76 @fangirl-316 @1andthesame @pedrostories @nyfeeer @seasonschange-butpeopledont @thereisaplaceintheheart @graciexmarvel @trickstersp8 @dreamiesunny @hb8301 @agingerindenial @adriiibell @darnitdraco @nolanell @buckybarneshairpullingkink @quicksilvermad @kirsteng42 @mandos-riduur-reading @dins-cyare

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x female reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x fem!reader #marcus pike x fem reader #marcus pike x y/n #marcus pike #the mentalist #marcus pike fic #marcus pike fanfic #marcus pike fanfiction

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folklorechalamet · 3 years

Text

All Too Well (AG) pt.4

read pt. 1 here

read pt. 2 here

read pt. 3 here

this is the last part of the series! i hope you enjoy, and let me know any songs you would like a series based on next :)

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still tryin' to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

Time moved so slowly. Days felt like weeks. Minutes felt like hours. My schedule for the last eight months consisted of waking up, going to work, and coming back home.

It had been eight months since the breakup. I hadn’t heard from Andrew at all since then.

I’m grateful for that, though. It allowed me to fully heal without him interrupting and pulling me back in. However, sometimes I wish he did interrupt.

“Hey, Y/N.” I looked over to see the woman at the front desk waving me over. “Sorry to interrupt you on your way out, but someone left a package for you.”

I looked up at her with a frown on my face, “Here? Why would they deliver it to my work?”

She wearily looked at me and shrugged, “I don’t know, some guy came by and dropped it off yesterday around 5.” She lifted the package and handed it to me, “I told him you had already went home for the day, and he just nodded and left.”

I looked at her for a moment before smiling and walking towards the door, “Ah well…thank you for holding it for me.”

“No problem, have a nice night!”

Great, now I have to walk ten blocks to my apartment with a heavy box from an unknown sender.

I flipped over the package looking for a return address but to no avail. For the first time, I looked at my name that was written on the box and felt a tinge of nausea.

It was in Andrew’s handwriting.

Why was he here? Did he personally deliver this to the office? Did my one chance at seeing him again slip away without me knowing?

Everything felt like it was spinning, and my vision threatened to blur as I hurried down the street to my apartment.

Once I opened the apartment door, I threw my bag and keys down on the ground and brought the package over to the coffee table. I sat at the edge of the couch, leg slightly bouncing.

Why was I so scared to open it? It was just from Andrew.

I shook my head and decided to throw all caution to the wind. I opened the package, only to be hit with a familiar scent. It smelled like him.

I stared at the contents of the box, not understanding what I was seeing.

All of my things. Mailed back to me. Eight months after we last saw each other.

Why now? Why didn’t he just give this back after a few weeks? It just didn’t make sense.

I slowly pulled out a couple shirts, a sweatshirt, picture frames, books…and a small sticky note at the bottom of the box.

I’m sorry I didn’t give these back in person. Just couldn’t bring myself to see you again.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

It had been three days since Andrew gave back my things. Since then, my head has been clouded with thoughts of him and the relationship. Once again, he had me in the palm of his hand.

Since it was finally the weekend, I decided that I deserved to go get coffee and do a bit of reading. I just needed a moment to myself.

I decided on a coffee shop near the apartment and started my walk there.

Opening the door to the shop, I felt the warm air hit my face. I walked up to the counter and ordered an iced coffee, standing over by the pickup station.

I was staring down at my phone, when I looked over and saw a man waiting next to me wearing a black baseball cap, black sunglasses, and…a red scarf.

My red scarf.

I averted my eyes quickly and held my head down, trying to keep all attention off me.

“’Y/N!” The barista sat down my drink on the counter.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe and walked up to get my drink. As I turned back to walk to a table, I couldn’t help my wandering eyes.

There was Andrew. Taking off his sunglasses and giving me a look I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

He looked at me without breaking eye contact, then shook his head and let out a small laugh, “God, what a coincidence.”

I let my shoulders drop slightly before joining his laughter, “Yeah, it feels comedic almost.”

His laugh faded away before he looked at me and gestured to a table across the shop, “Can we talk?”

This was a bad idea. Terrible idea, even. But I couldn’t say no to him.

I walked over to the chair and sat down, releasing a brief sigh.

He sat across from me, a small smile on his lips. “So how are you?”

“I’m good, you?”

“Y/N, can we not do this? I want to actually talk to you, not just meaningless small talk.”

I sat back in my chair, shaking my head slightly. “I like your scarf.”

He looked at me with a brief look of confusion before his shoulders dropped, “Yeah, it’s my favorite. I couldn’t bring myself to give it back.”

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink, “You kept it because it’s your favorite? Or does it remind you of me?”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. I guess he wasn’t expecting me to be so blunt with him.

“Maybe a bit of both, I guess.” He took off his hat, running his hand through his hair. “And I couldn’t bring myself to give back your things because it meant I really lost you. I wanted to keep the scarf to just have a piece of you still here. I regret everything I did to you when we were together. I wish I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did that night.”

“You can keep the scarf. I don’t want it back.”

His mouth quirked up into a small smile, “Can we have dinner together tonight? I have to run back to set because we are filming something a few blocks over, but I want to continue this talk later. I just want to talk things over in private. We can at least try to be friends if you want to.”

This was such a bad idea. So bad. But maybe it would help us both grieve over the relationship we lost.

Before I even realized what I was doing, “Yeah, sure. Sounds nice.”

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

“God, you were always so bad at dancing.”

“But at least I tried, right?”

I shook my head, feeling slightly intoxicated from the wine Andrew and I shared. We were in a dimly lit corner of a restaurant near my apartment. Everything felt so nice. It made me hopeful that maybe him and I could actually be friends.

If not lovers, friends would do.

Suddenly we both grew quiet, stolen glances from across the table.

“You know I really love you. I just didn’t know how to treat you when I had you. And I will regret that every day of my life. What we had was so real. I never felt like that before and I haven’t since you left.” He looked up at me and saw my watery eyes and my head hanging low. “I lost the one real thing I had. You loved me and loved all the bullshit that came along with me, and I threw it away.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Andrew brought his hands to his face and huffed loudly, “Can you just please say we can start over? Please Y/N, I need to hear you say that. I have been a wreck since you left and I just feel lost.”

I scoffed, tears spilling out of my eyes, “How do you expect me to forget everything you put me through? I can’t just pretend that none of it happened.”

He was growing impatient, “I’m not asking you to forget, I just want you to forgive me. Please.” And maybe even a little desperate.

“Andrew, you don’t know how much I want to forgive you. But I can’t do that to myself. You broke me.” As serious as this conversation was, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “And when I start to feel okay, somehow you always find your way back. So maybe we are meant to find our way back to each other.”

I looked up to see a wave of disbelief and relief wash over his features, “Are you serious? Y/N, I promise if you do give us a second chance I won’t fuck it up.”

I was about to speak when his phone started ringing. He started rustling through his coat pocket before he retrieved it, “Give me one second, I’ll be back.”

And I was never good at tellin' jokes, but the punch line goes

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

I sat across the empty seat for a little over five minutes, before Andrew appeared with a smile on his face. “Okay, I’m back.”

I smiled back, “Who was that?”

He readjusted in his chair before scratching the back of his neck, “Management. But let’s not talk about that now, we have other things to discuss.”

The smile on my face dropped and I sighed, “What did they say, Andrew?”

He looked up at me, his face filled with worry, “I can’t be seen leaving the restaurant with you. Because of…you know.”

I immediately sat up straighter, “God, okay. Wow, I can’t believe I fell for this shit again.” I laughed, grabbing my purse and pushing my seat out.

Andrew rose to his feet, putting his hands out, “Wait, what are you doing? We were talking, we were good.”

I shook my head, walking towards the front door, “Clearly we were never good because you don’t care about me.”

“What? Of course I do, I just have to put my job first.”

I stopped right before I reached the door and chuckled lowly, “Oh yeah? If you do, then walking me to my apartment wouldn’t be an issue. Right?”

Andrew looked at me helpless, his hands unable to stop moving, “Y/N, I can’t…”

“Right, of course. Bye, Andrew.” I pushed the door open and shrugged on my coat. The cold air hitting my face, threatening to freeze the tears that were about to spill down my face.

I made it a few steps down the block when I heard feet hitting the pavement behind me.

As he caught up to me, I couldn’t hold it in anymore, “Do you know how fucked up this is? Right when I’m okay, you come back in and ruin everything. I start to feel okay by myself again, and you have to come back and remind me how bad you broke me.” I looked up at him for a brief moment before sighing. “Just between us...did the breakup ruin you too?”

“Of course it did, Y/N. And I can’t lose you again. I don’t wanna lose you. I just don’t know what to do. My work means so much to me, but so do you.”

“I’m not asking you to choose either me or your job, Andrew. I just don’t want to be your secret.”

“You’re not a secret. It’s just that some things are out of my control-“

“But this isn’t.”

Andrew’s face contorted into a confused look, “What do you mean? I don’t get-“

“Call management and say you want to end your PR relationship because you’re with me.” I looked at Andrew with my eyes filled with hope. “Please.”

His shoulders dropped and his eyes began to get watery. “Y/N, I can’t. They wouldn’t understand and they would be so pissed off at me.”

It felt like him and I had been talking in circles, “They’ll be mad at first, but they’ll get over it.”

“I can’t risk my job just because you’re a little upset right now.”

I stared at him in disbelief, before nodding, “Ah, and there it is. You can’t risk management being upset with you for a bit, but you can risk losing me again.”

I stood in front of him in silence for a few seconds before I noticed a few snowflakes had fallen into his hair.

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

The sight made me feel nauseous. He looked so beautiful, so desperate, and so confused. He stood there, perfect. The way I wanted to remember him.

The longer I stared at him, the more it hit me.

I remembered him by my side when the snow fell outside of the window on my birthday.

I remembered looking over at him and seeing as his eyes glistened as they looked out the window and then back at me.

I remembered us driving upstate.

I remembered us dancing in the kitchen.

“Y/N, please.”

I was knocked out of my daze when I realized Andrew was crying.

I took one last look at his face before I turned around and started walking towards my apartment. I hugged my coat closer to me as the snow began falling harder.

I looked back over my shoulder to see Andrew still standing there frozen and defeated.

I wished I could’ve taken him back. I wished I could’ve started over.

But I remembered the hurt all too well.

And I couldn’t go through it again.

----------------------------------------------

taglist: @xoxoloverb

#andrew garfield #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield x female reader #andrew garfield x you #andrew garfield imagine #andrew garfield imagines #fanfic #fanfiction

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justlookfrightened · 3 years

Text

Happy Mother's Day

“I know, Mama. I’ll tell him. You say hello to Coach, too, alright?”

Bitty shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at Jack, the “I’m trying to get off the phone” clear in his expression.

“Mother. Yes. Alright. Fine. I’ll talk to you this weekend, okay? Yes, Mama. I love you, too.”

He sighed and put the phone down on the counter.

“What was that about?”

“She thinks you need feeding up,” Bitty said. “She watched your game last night and she said you looked thin.”

Jack looked down at himself. “It’s been a long season,” he protested. “What does she want me to do?”

“She wants me to feed you a steak dinner every night,” Bitty said, making a face. “Even though you’re barely here one night out of three and the nutritionists would have something to say about all that red meat.”

He crossed the room to embrace Jack.

“I know you’re doing your best, sweetpea,” Bitty said. “The end of the season just takes its toll.”

“So what did she want you to tell me?”

“Oh, you know, good luck in Game 3,” Bitty said.

Jack tightened his grip around Bitty’s waist.

“That all?”

“And that Vasilevskly likes to come out to play the puck, so if y’all can draw him away from the goalmouth someone can tuck it in behind him.”

Bitty was mumbling into Jack’s shoulder.

“Sorry. I know you don’t need advice from your mother-in-law.”

Jack gave Bitty another squeeze, kissed the top of his head, and released him.

“It’s not like she’s wrong,” he said. “I have to go. You’re all set to go to Georgia? And I’ll see you in Tampa for Game 4?”

“Of course,” Bitty said, reaching up to kiss Jack goodbye. “Call me tonight, right?”

“Of course.”

Bitty’s phone rang while he was standing in baggage claim at Hartsfield, waiting for the conveyor to disgorge his suitcase. Then he just had to grab his rental car, head to a hotel for the night, and show up in Madison before church.

Coach. He almost never called. And on a Saturday night?

“Daddy?” Bitty said. “Is everything okay? Moomaw --”

“Your Moomaw’s fine, son,” Coach said.

“Mama --”

“Your mother too,” Coach said. “Just … did you remember tomorrow is Mother’s Day?”

“Uh … yes?” Bitty said, hoping his father couldn’t hear the airport announcements over the phone. “Of course I did.”

“But maybe you mailed cards a little late?” Coach suggested. “Because your mother hasn’t gotten anything, and there’s no mail tomorrow. She was trying to act like everything was fine, but I can tell you she was a mite put out. But if you tell her you mailed a card on Tuesday, or even Monday, well, then she’ll just blame the post office.”

“No sir.”

“What?”

“I didn’t mail a card this week,” Bitty said. “There’s something that should be delivered tomorrow.”

“On Sunday?”

“Yessir.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yessir.”

“That must cost an arm and a leg.”

“It’s fine, Daddy, I promise,” Bitty said, hauling his suitcase off the carousel. “And I’ll talk to Mama and Moomaw tomorrow. Both of them.”

“Alright,” his father said. “If you say so. Your mother and I were going to pick up Moomaw after church and take her to brunch, so maybe in the afternoon? Or before church. But I know how you and your mother get to talking.”

Bitty made a non-commital noise as he headed for the rental car counter.

“Well, sounds like you’re out and about somewhere,” Coach said. “I’ll let you go. Have a good night, now.”

“You too,” Bitty said, barely managing to bite back the “See you tomorrow” that wanted to escape.

Bitty parked two doors down from his parents’ home and gave himself one last look in the rearview mirror. He was clean shaven, though it was honestly still hard to tell, his teeth were brushed and his face was washed. His hair was freshly cut and coiffed. The pink polo shirt was pressed, as were his khakis. He wished he had something better than supermarket flowers, but all the florists were closed by the time he arrived the night before.

He collected the flowers and headed for the porch, where, for the first time in his life, he rang the bell.

Coach answered. Of course he did.

“Shhh,” Bitty hissed. “Get Mama.”

Coach, bless him, simply stepped away from the door and called, “Suze? It’s for you.”

Bitty heard his mother approaching before he saw her.

“Are you sure, Richard? At this hour, on a Sunday?”

When he didn’t answer, she continued.

“I bet it’s something from Dicky, isn’t it? When there wasn’t a card, I thought he might have gone and sent something ridiculous --”

Then she was at the door, and actually, momentarily, speechless.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mama,” he said, holding out the flowers. “Um, surprise?”

“Oh, Dicky, you shouldn’t have,” Mama said, gathering him and the flowers into her arms. “I should have known you’d do something like this. And your Moomaw will be so happy. Oh, do you think we can get an extra seat at brunch?”

“It’s a buffet, right?” Bitty said. “I’m sure they’ll take one more.”

Even if he had to tip the hostess heavily.

“I thought I’d take Moomaw to the garden center this afternoon to pick out a new rose bush,” Bitty said. “But your present is in there.”

“The flowers are beautiful --”

“Open the card, Mama.”

Bitty waited while she plucked out the card he’d nestled in the foliage and opened it, first reading the Hallmark-approved message before opening the smaller envelope that was inside.

“These are tickets to … Jack’s game?” she said. “Next week in Florida?”

“Yes, Mama, and the flight and hotel for you and Daddy are already taken care of,” Bitty said. “Jack’s parents will be there, too.”

“Well, I never,” his mother said. “Oh, we’re going to be late for church, but I have to get these in water and --”

“You finish getting ready,” Bitty said. “I’ll get them in water.”

His mother hurried to her bedroom, and Coach stood in the kitchen doorway shaking his head.

“Nice one, Junior,” he said. “She means thank you, by the way.”

“I know,” Bitty said. “If you can’t get off work, I can change your flight Wednesday to leave after school.”

“I’m invited too?”

“Of course you are.”

“Oh. Well, then. I’m sure I could get a couple days off,” Coach said. “It’s off season.”

After the game, when the Falconers had finally come off the ice, done press, showered and changed, Jack came out to greet Bitty and all four parents.

“Congratulations, sweetpea,” Bitty said as he hugged his husband, “At least you have a few days off now.”

Jack’s parents embraced him and said much the same.

Bitty’s mother hugged Jack, then stepped back and held him at arm’s length.

“You need to eat more,” she said.

At Bitty’s audible huff, she turned, not letting go of Jack, and said, “What? I was right about Vasilevsky.”

#omgcheckplease #omg check please #zimbits #mothers day #my fic

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cosmiclatte28 · 3 years

Text

Forced Marriage II

Hello!! The awaited second part is here! Refresh memory here

Thank you so much for waiting and I promise, one more chapter and this trilogy is done. Also I already have the idea and ending, so it's going to be fast.

A/n : I cried in the middle of writing this. A bit too carried away by the emotion of explaining (y/n)'s abusive father. I cried like cried a lot and sobbed. Blew my nose and wiped my eyes but as I type tears keep falling (I hope I am not the only one crying)

trigger warning : character's death

tagging : @yutahoes @neopalette @swagmonsterofficial @byunniebaekhyunnie @huniehoeee

writing net : @supermwritersnet @multifandomnet

“Good morning Mam, is (y/n) awake?" Baekhyun greets the young lady watering the small garden on the front porch.

“Oh Baekhyun! What is it that makes you come early in the morning? And No she hasn't” your mother looks at the young energetic man in front of her. Memories flash by her eyes when she still remembers Baekhyun being the small cheerful boy from next door. Puberty does hit him well, your mother thought.

“Did you bump your head last time mam?” Baekhyun playfully asks, he knows your mother close enough to crack jokes and secretly your mother loves his playful jokes.

“Oh Baekhyun, you’ve never changed! Always the fun silly careless boy from next door. Now, I know you’re here to deliver milk right?” your mom takes a peek at the truck Baekhyun’s brother is handling.

Well the Byun family owns a farm and supplies milk and eggs to this town and the neighboring town. They’re a well known family for it.

“Do you mind if we get one more bottle? We have guests today.” Your mother takes out her wallet to pay for the milk and Baekhyun nods “We have plenty today! I’m glad your guest gets to taste this town’s best milk. Who is this lucky guest mam?” Baekhyun asks as he puts the milk down to the front patio.

Your mother comes back with some cash and gives it to Baekhyun along with a basket of fresh bread she just baked this morning.

“It’s your favorite bread. I see there’s a lot of deliveries today.” your mom smiles seeing the truck full of eggs and milks.

Baekhyun nods “Yes, business is doing good.”

“Oh about the guest, well he’s (y/n)’s future fiance. Hope you can meet him soon and be friends with him. He’s a nice guy, like you Baekhyunie.” your mother taps his nose like she used to when Baekhyun was nine.

Baekhyun’s smile falls when he hears “(y/n)’s future fiance.” what is this? Why has he never heard the news from you?

He has a lot to ask but his brother already honks the horn and Baekhyun comes back to his senses

“Come over for dinner or lunch next time Baekhyun!” your mother offers a polite invitation to the young lad and Baekhyun puts on his smile again as he bows “Thank you and I’ll see you soon mam.” he waves goodbye and jumps into the free seat next to his brother.

“Have a nice day you two!” your mother sends the Byun brothers off and descends to the kitchen with the fresh milk.

“Baekhyunie,” she sighs and hides a small smile “Always charming and sweetheart, some lady will be lucky to have him one day.”

Baekhyun’s brother hears everything, but he is not aware of the romantic feelings both you and Baekhyun share. He only knows the relationship between his brother and you is platonic.

“Look at (y/n), it’s like only yesterday their family moved in and both of you are so young. Running around carelessly, getting bruises from trying to climb trees, and woop she’s engaged now. When will you get a fiancee Baek?” his brother jokes around and wiggles his eyebrow to Baekhyun who only keeps his head on the road by the window

He sighs “I don’t know, why don't you get married first. You’re the brother here.” he scorns

You spend the day waiting for your neighbor’s head to pop up on the window but until lunch he’s not back yet. Your mother told you he’s away to the town and the neighboring town for the day but usually by afternoon they’re back. There’s nothing much for you to do since Sehun bid farewell and said he’ll return next week with the plans all ready and the wedding can happen soon. You don’t even have to buy a dress because your mother wants you to use hers, since its the tradition. You scoff in your mind, when do you ever have a chance to make a choice?

Even something as simple as what outfit to wear to meet someone, your mother won’t let you choose by yourself

Tea time makes you finally move your butt from sitting next to the window. His room window is still shut closed and the truck is still not home. Did something happen to them? Your worry disappears when the truck comes into your sight but you already got yourself dragged out of your room by your mom.

Baekhyun washes his body quickly and climbs up to his room after faking a smile to his parents. His brother is busy counting today’s revenue but Baekhyun opens his window and sits down only to stare at yours which was still open.

He can see your room, how the lights are on and he knows that means you were dragged out and you didn't have the chance to turn the lights off.

He sighs and closes his curtain, watching your empty room already makes it hard for him to breathe. What about the day when you will move into Sehun’s house?

Judging by his car yesterday, Baekhyun knows he is from the city and he is rich. Will Baekhyun be able to wake up in the morning knowing that the reason he wakes up everyday is now taken away from him? Not that he can actually say “taken away” since he never claims you as his.

You sit uncomfortably on your chair. Your father keeps on talking about this wedding. He doesn't even realize he’s indirectly saying “I am marrying you to Sehun just for the sake of my business so it won’t crumble down and you’ll live a good life after I die.”

Your ear burns with every single word your father rambles. Yes you grew up with his strict rules, you got hit several times but this… setting up your marriage and pressing on you to accept it as his last wish hurts the most.

“I don’t love Sehun.” you try to speak up your voice.

Your dad chuckles as he sips on his tea “I never said this marriage is based on love.”

You gulp and look at your mom with your red eyes. You’re ready to cry and scream here that you’re tired of your life being controlled but your mother shakes his head gently with a pleading look and you don't want to hurt her feelings so you keep your lips shut.

Life feels like hell after Sehun’s constant mail filled with questions of which flower you want, what color you want his tie to be and whatever useless question he asks (it’s useless because you don’t intend to bother thinking of which color or flower for a wedding you don’t want).

Since the day Sehun left, you’ve never met Baekhyun too and that is odd. Something about the way his window is always closed when you wake up, how he never pops his head randomly at the window, his constant busy days that you don’t hear any knock of pebbles on your window and the disappearing sunshine in your life.

Your wedding invitation is distributed already to everyone that’s within the inner circle and in your hand now lies one more invitation you can’t bring yourself to hand.

“Byun family” was written on the addressed invitation. You hold the invitation in your hand and almost drop it when your mother suddenly enters your room and questions you with “Whose invitation is that you’re still holding?”

You gulp “Baekhyun’s” your voice croaks and your mother nods.

“Why are you not giving it to them?” she sits down next to you and runs a hand on your hair.

“I haven't seen him and I want to give it to him.” you lie. Well to be honest, you’d rather have your mom deliver this to his mother but you need an excuse to meet Baekhyun and he’s been gone so you need to see him. At least see him before you are married to another man you barely know.

Early in the next morning, you wake up to the noise from the window. You open the blinds, looking to find the ruckus and that's when your eyes pop open. There you see Baekhyun jumping around the garden and his family are just smiling and patting his back. You saw a white envelope in his hand and you're trying to remember if he ever tells you about waiting any good news. No, Baekhyun never tells you anything. You open your window and pop your head out waiting for the happy man to notice you and maybe share the good news with you, but until he climbs into his room, he didn't spare you a glance and instead he's calling someone and you're sure that is Chanyeol.

You tried to eavesdrop but it's impossible despite the close distant, someone was using the blender downstairs. Annoyed, you toss some rock to his direction but it all doesn't hit him.

Now, you're mad. What made him ignore you, was it that carnival night incident? After that you never met him… so is that why he is still ignoring you?

You wave and try to get his attention, to which he completely didn't see. Alas, your mother calls you for breakfast and you have to go.

The sweet smell of waffles make you smile and lighten up your sour mood.

"What's the good news in Baekhyun's house?" You ask your mom when she looks like she knows something.

She smiles as she sips her tea "Oh didn't you hear? He was auditioning for a record company and well he sent his tape and he won the offer. The company wants him to move to the town this weekend and they will begin his contract and discuss his debut. Oh that Baekhyun!" Your mom wipes a tear that fell, as if he is her son and she is so damn proud.

Your father smiles "Good fella, he sure will make it big. I remember him singing in the town hall when he was eleven! Good vocal, good looks, easy personality. I think the company made a good decision."

Both your parents are so happy, but you… something inside your heart is furious. How come he never tells you about this, will he leave you? Leave you for a dream that might flop!

You hide your feelings during breakfast and after cleaning up, you sneak out to knock on Baekhyun's window.

The mischievous grin you memorize by heart appears in the window and he gladly opens it up so you can climb in.

"What makes you climb in my window?" He calmly asks. His stupid smile still there as if he didn't do any mistakes and he was surprised you are here.

You sigh "You lied."

He shrugs his shoulders "You lied first."

You scrunch your brow "What do you mean?!"

He sits down and you copy him "Well, you didn't tell me the truth that you are engaged."

You froze and he slaps your back "Guess my proposal last time wasn't good. Congratulations." He tried to joke it off but you are tearing up.

"Don't congratulate me. I don't know him and I don't love him."

Baekhyun sighs "It's father again isn't it?" He places a comforting arm around you and you bury your face in his chest. Crying your heart out and calming you down.

"I'm sorry honey, I couldn't propose wealth to your father and I couldn't even ask your hand for marriage with a diamond ring. I'm sure that lucky guy has so many to offer you." He rubs your hair but his words sting more and you punch him "I don't need that. I just want to be with you."

"Well, we can still be friends." He tries to hold his emotion back at the word friends.

"But I want you as my husband! I love you." You stare into his eyes and see his eyes smile "I just need to hear that. I also love you."

"And you are not telling me that you auditioned for that singing company!" You punch his chest again.

Baekhyun giggles "Sorry, I heard your mom said about the fiance and I was so sad and mad at myself for not claiming you first… so that made me send my audition tape because I thought that you're going to be his and it'll hurt me."

"So you're leaving me with that man. You run!" You let out a breather

Baekhyun bites his lips "Well, I have to chase my dream like you always said."

"My dream is to be a singer." Baekhyun stands up and shows you the acceptance letter.

You read it through the tears "This is so far away Baek."

"Well, but it's a step closer to singing in stage!" He stares at you with passionate energy in his eyes and you couldn't bring yourself to beg for him to just stay here and be your neighbor so you can at least wake up and see him and feel less bad.

"Now, I have to leave this Sunday. Do you want to spend the rest of the week with me?"

You nod and hide the invitation behind your back. No he shouldn't know that you're getting married. Let him think he is only your fiance that won't hurt him.

"It's Tuesday already, we have 5 days."

You wipe your tears and lock your eyes to the ecstatic boy.

"Later i will write songs about you! About our friendship and about our memories. I'll make money and I can get you that diamond ring and we can host a wedding you love! The simple one in a garden." He pretends he is walking down the aisle and you just want to disappear. No one should break his heart but if he must get his heart broken why must it be from you?

"So, (y/n) wait for me okay. Don't get feelings with this man."

You scoff, Baekhyun doesn't even know the man's name.

"And then one day I will return to you and we can live like our dream." He takes your hands into his and twirls you around the room. You laugh and giggle, feeling alive from the small action you missed.

He ends with hugging you and you wish so hard that life could change its path and you can be with Baekhyun.

"Congratulations Baekhyun!" You whisper

5 days. 5 days to Baekhyun's departure and 6 to your wedding.

Day 1, you rush your fitting and got to spend the afternoon walking to the rose garden near the forest.

Day 2, Baekhyun starts packing and you're using the chance to practice your wedding speech and your walk. The afternoon was spent together strolling around down town

Day 3, You had to pick the dress up and Baekhyun had to legalize some of his documents. You sneak to his rooftop that night, both of you just sitting and enjoying the starry nigh.

Day 4, You help him pack only for him to realize your body has bruises. He stops you from helping and folds your sleeves "What else did you do?"

You shake your head and unfold the sleeve trying to shake it off saying it's just a small problem but Baekhyun could see the fear in your eyes and he knows you're lying.

"Wait for me, I'll save you. I promise." He pulls you into a hug and for the first time, you press a deep kiss into his lips.

Day 5, You hand him the invitation and you're glad you kissed him last night because right now all you can see is your feet and how Baekhyun's hand trembles. His hair hides his eyes but from the way his lips shake and his body shakes, you know he is furious and disappointed at you.

"I am sorry." You whisper

"Why not sooner." He asks, his voice so bitter and dry. His eyes still avoid yours.

"I want to spend my time with you before you go."

"But why you keep this invitation until today?!" His voice cracked and you cried. This time, he doesn't console or calm you down. He lets you cry alone

He closes the invitation "You could've given me sooner and I won't be promising you all those dreams. Now I sound like the jerk who made promises to a girl who will be married in two days! Grow up (y/n)! If I knew this-"

You cut him off "If you knew this, you'd avoid me Baek! And I wouldn't want to waste my precious 5 days to be with you. Heck who knows if this might be the last time we see each other." You're furious too and Baekhyun shakes his head "What are you talking about. We're adults! I'll definitely accept the news like a mature man. I won't give you the silent treatment."

You scoff "You would. I know you Baekhyun."

"And if you know me… do you know that because you did this, i am now so i don't know… i'm " he pauses

"You hate me?" You ask that

He shakes his head and stomps his leg "I love you okay! But this is not right! I'll. You know what?" He couldn't speak right and couldn't think straight

"This will make my departure easier. You do know artists cannot date and I'll be busy. Well, now I won't have the reason to think about you and our dream. You're going to be with him forever and i? I will be the fool who didn't know you're already someone else's. Goodbye. And congrats."

"No Baekhyun. Please, sorry. I cannot do anything!"

"Yes I know. You're just too afraid of everything your father said. You can't fight for yourself and oh I'm tired okay! If you told me earlier, we could think of a way to stop this. But now it's too late! I'm leaving tomorrow and your wedding is ready! Don't make yourself an embarrassment by canceling the date. Go, live your silver spoon life. Goodbye (y/n) it was nice knowing you."

Baekhyun steps inside his house, closes the door and you're there staring at the floor, eyes still wet.

He's right . It's too late.

You force yourself to go home and well, you didn't even get to send him a proper goodbye.

Baekhyun just left like that, with a simple goodbye from the window and he’s gone. You are also preoccupied by the busy preparation for the big day tomorrow that you don’t have time to ask Baekhyun about his arrival or well updates.

While drowning in the sadness of losing Baekhyun, your best friend, your love, and your dream, you have no soul left when you have to recite the vows. The wedding bells deafen your ears, the smile from the guests blind your eyes and when Sehun kisses your lips, your tears fall because Baekhyun’s right everything is too late to be fixed.

You’re glad Sehun didn’t force you to sleep with him on the first night. He respects your decision and you sleep peacefully that night, mostly because you’re tired of thinking and the day is tiring.

Your morning wasn’t any difference than before, despite living in a house not far from home, you didn’t feel any difference. Well, Sehun is as stoic as your dad, his morning is filled with coffee, newspapers, and him checking his agenda.

“We will be busy this week, your dad wants to move the company ownership to us, you will follow me to the office. Go dress up smart and I’ll see you in the car an hour from now, is that enough?” he asks and you nod.

The maids here clean up the table as Sehun leaves to fetch his documents and working bag and you just hope Baekhyun will reply to any of your texts.

The paperwork takes your whole one week, office paperworks, house ownership, marriage legalization and well with your father’s health deteriorating it’s been hard for everyone to keep signing papers when father is in the hospital. Your father has already prepared his last wills and all beneficiaries.

You finally get news from Baekhyun’s mother saying that he already signed the contracts and the company loves him and wants to make a great debut for him. He’s preparing to write songs and he is arranged to debut in two years if he is good.

One month after being Oh Sehun’s wife, you begin to see a difference in your husband’s attitude. Yes he can be a caring man, his cold facade is slowly gone, but the sly look in his face is still there. You don’t know what but something in your guts say that this is just the calm before the storm. Your father’s condition gets worse and the hospital announces that he will probably have months left. You take turn with your mom in looking after dad. He’s in the bedroom lying down half alive, the machines keep his heart pumping and the oxygen tube in his nose forces oxygen into his lungs. You feel bad for him, despite all the pain you grew up with, your dad was a responsible person who never leaves you and your mom.

“I am sorry (y/n) for being a bad father. I hope you forgive me and I hope your future will be good.” he said that one afternoon when he saw you crying on his side. You were crying because you were telling him your heart about how he hurts you but he was trying his best for his family.

“I am sorry I cannot be your ideal daughter.” you hold his hand and he smiles weakly, “You’re all I would ask for. I love you and mom so much but I’m just so bad am I not? I hit you a lot.”

You cry harder, “It was because you care about me.”

He shakes his head “I shouldnt have been that hard. You’re a flower after all, we need to handle you with care”

“But you trained me to be a warrior dad. And whatever storm I will face one day, I will be thankful that you beat me as a kid so that I won’t just cry and accept fate if things go wrong.”

Your father lets another tear fall “I hope you don’t have to experience that time, but if you have to, I know I prepared you well.”

You hold into his hand tighter “I forgive you dad. Do you forgive me?”

He smiles “I never hate you love, I always forgive your mistakes every night before I sleep. I just have to punish you so you know that everything comes with consequences.”

You nod “I’ll remember that, how are you feeling dad?”

He coughs “Feeling like a sinner confessing his sins, but I’m glad I have time to tell you this.”

You kiss his hand and he takes a deep breath. “Be happy my flower, use the wealth for good stuff, and always help others. Remember that everything takes process.”

Your mom comes into the room and when the golden sun rays kiss your dad’s face, he glances to you and your mom. His sincere smile blooms and both you and your mom hold his hands, he takes one deep breath “My job here is done, I love you both.” he lets a big exhale and there goes your father. A great man who just can’t express his love in the best way.

Come to think of it, he is always coming home whenever he can. He tries to go home fast so he can eat dinner together. He only starts breakfast when all the chairs are filled. He taught you how to use a screwdriver, he taught you chess so you can beat your nosy friends. He helped you ride your bike. He’s the one who pays all of your living cost and not for once has he made you worried about what the family will eat for today. When life wasn’t as easy as this, he made sure you can still get a new dress on special days and he tries his best to bring you to the circus tour. Wealth came to your father when he was old and you were a young adult, and now he doesn’t have the time to enjoy it too much but he gave it all to you.

Baekhyun trained so hard day and night. His will and desire to be an artist beat all of his homesickness and exhaustion. He always appears in the training room with a big smile even though he has to go home half asleep. The company loves his attitude and promises a lot of good things for him. The boy just smiles, saying he’ll be happy as long as his dream of being an artist comes true. He heard about your dad’s death from his family and actually came home to join the funeral. He saw you but you were too sad to notice him and so he disappeared the next day. He noticed you moved back into your mother’s house because you don’t want her to feel alone. Sehun lets you do that, and because your mom insisted Sehun to also stay there, now the three of you live under the same roof.

Two years after your father’s death, Baekhyun has his debut. Well, it has to be delayed because the company saw that it’s going to be better to debut in Summer than in Fall. His hard work paid off when you finally see his name rising in charts and appearing in music shows. His hair is no longer boring, it’s painted silver white and you never think Baekhyun will look hot as an old man, but here you see him looking so handsome and lively as he finally gets to sing on a stage for thousands of audience. He was labeled as the successful rookie and he’s been offered a lot of advertisements and special appearances. You’re happy whenever you hear the town people talk about his name, or when the radio turns on his song. You missed him, you always text him but he rarely replies.

Everything seems going according to plan, but your guts were right. Those days were just the calm before the storm.

To be continued….

“(Y/n), come to the hospital now.”

“(Y/n) a package is here for you.”

#baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x you #baekhyun angst #sehun x you #sehun x reader #sehun angst #exo angst #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun imagine #sehun scenario #exo fanfic #exo series

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rainygothherowolf · 4 years

Text

Daminette- Oblivious Idiots

Ladybug groans her face in a pillow as she freaks out a little a lot.

"How'd you figure it out? I'm not that obvious, am I? Do you think he knows? He can't know, that would be awful- ohhhh NonononononoNOnonononooooo. No. Please, tell me he doesn't know." Ladybug is laying face down on the couch in the living room of Titans Tower, Beast Boy smirking down at her reaction to being found out. The boy just brought up her rather obvious crush, and now the Parisian hero is a little panicked. If Beast Boy noticed who else did? Everyone on the team is really smart.

The Parisian joined the Titans over a year ago after asking the Justice League for help. She fits into the team’s dynamic really well, playing video games with Beast Boy and Kid Flash; hanging out with Star and binging rom-coms; Raven was a tough nut to crack but didn’t seem to mind hanging out. They did get along but respected that they just had very different interests.

Robin is a completely different story, at first he was rude but the bluenette was stubborn. She wasn't going to deal with his bratty attitude, she sticks up for her herself. At some point, the Parisian earns his respect. They became friends over time, working well together though Robin insisted they train so she could improve her technique.

"It's kinda obvious for me, but he's pretty dense. Bats are always idiots when it comes to emotions n' stuff." The young Parisian hero looks up from her pillow.

"I know that... he's my best friend. Friend- Merde. What if he sees me just as a friend!?" The bluenette's hands go to her hair, eyes blown wide. It takes everything in Beast Boy not to laugh at how blind the girl is being. Does she not see how smitten the fourth Robin is for her? That he acts more like a human being when she's around?

"No, what if all he ever sees in me is a friend? This isn't good, then we'll never date and he's just so datable. Have you seen the way his nose crinkles when he tastes something he doesn't like, holding it until it goes away? And the way he swoops his hair, I'd bet it's soft. And he's so strong-"

"Ew. I have ears, please don't-" Ladybug doesn’t seem to hear him, continuing her rant.

"And then one day I'll have to watch him fall for someone, I think I already have. It's awful- not that I'm not happy he's happy, because I am- but I think he likes Raven. They spend so much time together, sneaking off sometimes."

"I bet they like each other, how could I compete with her. She's amazing, and- and I'm not." The bluenette's tone goes from one of acceptance to defeat.

"Oh, okay, we got serious. Uh- don't cry." When he and Raven went over the plan, they hadn't covered the possibility of a) Ladybug thinking Robin and Raven were a thing; or b) that Ladybug would compare herself to Raven. The Parisian is always so self-confident and optimistic, perfect even- she never lets anyone get her down. She huffs at his less than helpful response.

"I'm not gonna cry. It's just, why would he like me? I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm annoying." The girl stands pacing, trying to decipher the enigma that is Robin. The girl's moods changes at the drop of a dime, leaving Beast Boy to try and play catch-up.

"Am I annoying to him? Probably. Raven is so calm and nice, he has no reason not to like her."

"That's definitely not true, if he thinks that he would tell you." She nods, sitting on the couch, leaning on her hands. His words help a little but a girl’s mind is her worst enemy, all the worst 'what if's' popping into her brain like spam mail in an already full mailbox.

This is going to take more intervention than he thought. "You're ridiculous, that isn't true."

"You're just blind, and as you would say- 'you're too close.'" Robin rolls his eyes, Raven is sitting on her bed as Robin looks at her, standing.

"All I'm saying is-"

"I understand what you said, you don't need to repeat it. All I'm saying is-" He mocks, "- that it's highly unlikely she'd be interested in me." This time Raven rolls her eyes, he really is an idiot.

"How can I prove it to you- just ask her out. She'll say yes."

"I don't trust you, you have no proof."

"Fine. Don't believe me, but mark my words, if you wait too long she might settle for someone else. You heard her complain about being mobbed on Valentines day last year."

"Whatever, she didn't like any of them."

"Yeah, because she likes you." Robin glares at Raven as he walks out of her room to go train. Robin first saw her as annoying but she grew on him. He mistook his interest in her as friendship until Raven commented on his liking their latest addition without telling her. It went downhill from there, now it’s like he can’t get her off his mind.

He tried to deny it, reason a way out of the conclusion. Raven did her best to encourage him but she was getting nowhere, the entire team was frustrated because both refused to see what was staring them right in the face. Beast Boy and Raven meet with Starfire after both Ladybug and Robin go back to their respective home cities.

"What did you the learn?" Beast Boy speaks up first, recounting his confronting Ladybug about it.

"She's got it bad, thinks he and Raven are into each other."

"Robin is convinced she doesn't like him. He doesn't want to get rejected so he refuses to ask her out."

"How can we tell him she likes him that he actually does the listening?"

"He'd only be convinced if he heard her say it." Raven reasons, knowing how blind and hard headed Robin is.

"There's no way she'll fess-up, she's too insecure. Even if we convinced her that Robin wasn't into you."

"I wish the little D could just hear her say it in passing. He would ask without fear and she'd get to date him without putting herself out there." Beast Boy can already see it, it’s the perfect plan.

"I'm sure I could get her to talk about it in the hall, you could get him close enough to hear?" Beast Boy offers, it could work but they can't see each other.

"We'll use the hallways on the fifth floor, that are separated by a wall and meet towards the elevator?"

"Sounds great, Mama." Raven rolls her eyes at his nickname for her. Starfire looks between the two before abruptly standing, trying to hide her smile.

"Yes, well, I must attend to some dishes. Farewell." The two shared a look. Perhaps it isn't only Robin and Ladybug that need to come clean.

"We gotta say something sooner than lat-"

"I know, but not yet. We could use this to our advantage..." "Right? So I had to go all the way to the other side of the city to deliver this banner, it was worth it though. The skater friend won."

"Do they still race? You said this was a normal way to spend your weekend."

"O-oh well, I don't see them much anymore." Ladybug's shoulders turn inwards, looking to the floor. Robin hates the small frown on her lips, he knows better than to pry but maybe if he got some more information he could help.

"How come?"

"Just, time. Grew apart I guess."

"You're an awful liar."

"I take that as a compliment!" Ladybug defended, smiling slightly. "You see, while Mr.-Tall,-Dark,-Handsome,-and-Mysterious is making up lies he has to keep straight I'm simply seen as an airhead that forgets her phone everywhere she goes!"

"You're even worse at changing the subject." Ladybug's smile falters.

"Hehe, yeah, have you seen Star? She said she had the cutest picture of you asleep in your costume with some dog." Robin crosses his arms, why is she avoiding the subject?

"I have plenty of pictures of 'the dog' but please-" He pats the seat next to him on his bed, "-elaborate on this 'growing apart' situation." He isn't going to give in, he has that face he used to do during training when she was too tired to get up. Ladybug sit, plopping onto the bed her arms spread across the comfortable fabric of the duvet.

"I can't say much, just that they don't want to be friends with me anymore. None of them do."

"Who's none of them?"

"My friends. All of them, only one does but they 'can't' be my friend. He just doesn't have enough of a backbone."

"Surely you have other friends besides the mindless heathens."

"School and hero duties add up, I hardly have enough time to keep up with my jobs. I don't have time for that, and they could get suspicious, notice the patterns where my old friends would see the clumsy forgetful me." He nods, laying on his back and turning to look her in the eye.

"At least I have you guys." She smiles, brushing some hair from Robin's forehead. It feels nice.

"If it were up to me-"

"It isn't, and it's best not to dwell. Come on, bird boy, let's get a snack."

"Right, but none of that hot chocolate nonsense." She rolls her eyes, she'll get him to try it. One day.

"Are we sure this is gonna work?" Beast Boy is unsure, Raven hadn't seen the way Ladybug reacted, it was like no matter what he said her mind found some way to turn it into a bad thing, like she could only see the worst in a situation. It was completely unlike her.

"Yes."

"But-"

"No 'but's', this will give Robin the push he needs to ask her out. She'll say yes. End of story."

"Then why are we planning the the thing with the mo-"

"In case he's more dense than humanly possible and because it's time people knew."

"Right... I'll wait till ten minutes from now to get her to walk past, you have till then to get him there, we'll take two laps just in case." Raven nods before going to look for Robin. She finds him in the living room, reading a book.

“Come.” Raven turns around and makes her way towards the elevator, he catches up and they ride to the fifth floor. They exit and hide behind the designated wall.

"You are not to make a sound, simply wait and listen.”

They wait.

And listen.

It takes ten minutes for something to happen, the elevator bell rings and opens at their floor. Raven motions for him to stay quiet. Robin hears to footsteps as someone sighs.

"-How could I not? He's just so- dreamy."

"Ew. Why do you even like him? You're too nice for him."

"I am not 'too nice' and Robin is not mean... He's just... gruff- yeah, gruff, at first. But you should have seen how cute it was when we were talking about something and I was laying and he laid down next to me and there was hair blocking his eyes a little so I swiped it out of the way and it was so soft." She says it all in one breath which should be concerning if Robin’s attention wasn’t being taken up by trying to not freak out. His eyes wide, back pressed against the wall so as not to get caught. She keeps talking, he has to hear more.

She sounds so sure of her affection, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She likes him? Like to date? Raven is right? This is impossible, but it was happening. She’s ranting about things not even he notices about himself like they’re the most amazing things in the world.

"And have you seen him smile? And his laugh, it's one of my favorite things about him. And did you notice the way he always perks up when there's a happy animal on the television, like it reminds him of something- I'd bet he has an animal. I wish I could have a pet." They kept walking, she kept rambling about him, his hair, his smile, the way he walked. He heard the voices fade at she and Beast Boy kept walking.

"I told you." Robin didn't even have a response, she feels the same way?

"She likes me?"

"You've got to be joking, after all that, you still don't believe it?"

"Shut up, I'm processing." Raven crosses her arms, impatiently waiting, they'll loop back soon.

"She likes me."

"Just keep listening." Ladybug and Beast Boy came back into earshot. When they got closer, Beast Boy cut her off when she starts going off topic about his hair.

"So if he asked you out, what would you do?" Robin hears them stop, she makes a high pitched whine he knows means she’s flustered, she used to do it every time he glared her down and got a little too close, at the time, an unknown symptom of his attraction towards the heroine.

"I mean, if I could speak- I'd say yes but I'd probably freak out and fall or trip over my words. It doesn't matter, he wouldn't ask. Why in the world would he like me?" Raven has to remind Robin to stay quiet and hidden with a shushing motion and a hand to his shoulder. He stays in place despite the fact that he wanted to list every reason why he would. His stupid monkey brain thought of kissing her to drive his point home but shoos the intrusive thought away.

"Right, and what you'd kiss him?" It was like his teammate is reading his stupid, teenage mind.

"Pretending he liked me back? I mean, I could go on about his li-"

"Please don't." The bluenette laughs with him.

"Ah! I have to go meet Robin for training. Bye!"

"Later." The girl's footsteps disappear as the elevator door arrives and carries her towards the training room.

"Dude you better not say she doesn't like you again." Beast Boy sad, knocking on the wall to get his attention.

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Yes, the little D, she will the gladly accept." Kor'i appears out of nowhere, he hates when she hovers like that. He can never tell where she is. He glares at them all, he’s late to meet with Ladybug. How in the world is he going to face her after that, it was so wrong to have listened. She hadn't meant for him to hear those things. Robin is filled with guilt as he walks into the waiting elevator and nears the training room. Ladybug is there smiling and slightly pink, likely from their teammate's questions.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes." He couldn't tell her he heard, she'll get embarrassed. He can't act on it either, she sounds busy enough as is. He would just be in the way.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He snaps at her this time, the rest of their training session is silent. She leaves back to Paris as soon as her shift is over, not staying to speak with Robin like she usually does. No one is amused by his behavior.

"What the hell? You get the confirmation you've been needing to finally ask her out and you start acting like you hate her?" Beast Boy finally exclaims, Raven kicks him under the chair.

"It's none of your business, and none of you should have interfered. I was not meant to hear any of that, she doesn't have time for me anyways." Robin gets up from his seat and walks towards the zeta-tube.

After that, things get a little better. Robin isn't rude or snappy to her but they don't talk or have their little one on one training sessions. Ladybug does everything in her power to try and rebuild the bridge she didn't know had been burnt. She doesn't know what she did wrong, what she said, what happened made Robin want to avoid her like the plague.

Is he going to leave her too?

No. It doesn't matter that he probably put two and two together and knows she likes him, that he probably likes someone else, he is her friend at the very least, it might not be enough but it’s something.

Ladybug gathers her courage, waiting for him to pass the one place she knows she can get him. Waiting right at a corner, she hears him coming. She wants to laugh when he slows, always knowing when she tries to sneak up on him, but this time she holds it in. Reminding herself of why she’s there.

Just as he comes into range, she turns the corner and faces him.

Her face is angry, no, pissed. Her eyebrows scrunched, a deep frown replacing the usual smile, she shoves a finger onto his chest. He always knew she was there but her expression, it’s hurt and angry and world ending- his world to be specific.

"What is your deal? What the hell did I do to you that you won't even talk to me anymore? What did I say? Why do you suddenly hate me?"

"I-"

"I mean, one day we're laughing and talking, and I tell you about what happened with my friends, and then the next you don't even bother to greet me!" She berates him in French, she gets more passionate about her speech until she's out of gas. At least, that's what he thinks.

“It’s disrespectful and hurtful! You don’t just drop someone because they did something to upset you, you try to fix it. You try to work through it!”

"I-"

"What? You what? I told you about my friends, not only did I put a lot of trust in you for that- it could have pointed towards my identity if I slipped up. You're too easy to talk to. And don't you dare say that this is just how you are because we both know you've been off lately. So just tell me! Tell me you hate me, tell me you want space, tell me somethings wrong or that I did something but just don't shrug this off. You are too important to me to just let this go!" He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, why is she crying? Why does he have to make her cry? He doesn’t deserve her tears, her affection, he doesn’t deserve her.

"I just- I think you can do better. I’m not a good enough companion." Robin refused to use the word friend, she isn’t his friend, she’s so much more than that. A rouge tear falls, her face incredulous.

"What?"

"You sound busy enough, you'd be better off spending your time with someone else." Robin doesn’t look her in the eye, it’s the honest truth but he can’t stand looking at her so upset.

Ladybug is at a loss, that’s why he’s upset? Because he thinks she was wasting her time? That he wasn't good enough for her to spend her time with?

It’s like a switch flips, her anger melting away. Her jabbing finger falls.

"Who could be better?" She hugs him, Damian does have some experience from Grayson so he awkwardly returns the favor. The far shorter girl sniffles once before pulling back with a smile.

Robin feels a pang in his chest, he made her cry. She wipes away the unshed tears from the corners of her eyes, glad to have the mess over and done with. He vows never to do so ever again.

"I never wanna hear you say that you're anything less than the best, c'mon time to get your butt handed to you."

"Spar?"

"You wish." Robin sighed, she always beats him in video games. As they walk, the alarm blares. There’s an attack somewhere. The duo runs towards the living room, Starfire is already there with Beast Boy, Raven, and Kid Flash.

"We've got two. There's some kind of monster tearing through down town, we need to stop them."

"And the other?" Robin asks.

"Paris, akuma." Ladybug groans, like she always does. She runs off towards the zeta tubes with a wave goodbye. Time to deal with the mangy cat's puns.

Robin and the rest of the team walk back into Titan Tower expecting to see Ladybug waiting for them, she always gets back before them in situations like this. Kid Flash speeds off after grabbing his things saying he’s late to something, as usual. Beast Boy limps, most of his weight supported by Raven as they make their way towards the med bay.

Robin and Starfire sit in the living room, she shows him photos of Dick in ridiculous sleeping positions or mid fall but Robin is on edge. Why isn't she back yet?

Of course, he gets an immediate answer. Ladybug's distress signal goes off, he and Star are off without a moment's hesitation. Jumping into the zeta-tubes, worry for their teammate clear. After over a year of working with her she’s never used the distress button. The machine powers up and blinds them, Damian jams a communicator in his ear and tunes in to the local news station. He hears where Ladybug is and he and Starfire set off in search for the girl. Paris is bright, people stop and stare as the heroes make their way towards the Eiffel tower.

Robin's mind is hyper focused and clouded at the same time, he knows he has to be at his best to help Ladybug so he shoves all that annoying emotion in a stupid box, shuts it, locks it, and pushes it into a dark little corner. They arrive at the lawn of the Eiffel tower.

Looking exhausted, Ladybug charges the villain. A blond boy in a black cat suit is flung at her with ease. The monster tries to throw a bus full of people at the two as Ladybug tries to get the boy off, he doesn’t seem to care, trying to hug the girl. Robin feels his chest tighten in jealousy.

Robin motions towards the bus, Starfire flies past and catches the bus mid air. The dark haired teenage boy is quick to lift the ill equipped partner he's heard so very much about off Ladybug.

"I believe she is trying to get up." He drops the boy to the side before offering a hand to Ladybug.

"Hello, again." Ladybug smiles up at him, taking Robins hand. Pulling her up, the two stand close together. Staring.

"Hi."

"Shall we get back to the task at hand?!" Starfire asks, mid battle with the monster when Ladybug and Robin snap back to reality. They join the fight, Chat sticks to the sidelines with a pout. The monster is tough, she only pressed the panic button in fear of the hostages being injured or killed. Even if they were physically healed by the miraculous cure it’s traumatizing.

The battle doesn’t last very long, the monster is extremely susceptible to Robin's ice capsules, and is no match for Kor'i's strength.

Ladybug is relieved when she sees the purified akuma flap away.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" The bluenette was able to use her lucky charm quickly enough, she'd say thank you before giving Tikki food and returning to the tower to finish her shift.

"Well done."

"Thank you, you weren't too bad yourself." Marinette smiles back to the far taller boy.

"Will you be returning to the tower? Should we wait for you?"

"You are the kidding, yes? We are in Paris! I'd like to go the shopping!" Ladybug laughed.

"With what money? My brother's card is rather telling. As is your own."

"I suppose you are correct."

"Don't worry, Starfire, we can go on a shopping day soon." The girl smiled.

"Yes, the little D, would you join us? Raven may join as well, yes, Ladybug? Girls day!"

"I do not qualify as a girl."

"Little D?" Ladybug asks, smiling softly before bursting into laughter. "I need to go help the victim and recharge. I'll see you back at the tower." Ladybug turns to leave but comes face to face with Chat.

"What are you doing here? We don't need you." He directs his comments to both of the American heroes but mostly towards Robin. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose.

"We are members of the Teen Titans, we were asked to come. Now if you'll excuse us-"

"What? Who asked you to come here. My lady and I would never-"

"I did, and I am not 'your lady' you need to stop with the names and trying to distract me mid-battle, Chat.”

“But-” Ladybug gives the mangy cat no time to explain, cutting in with no patience.

“No ‘but’s, you almost got us and all those hostages killed. Go. Home.” The tro of Titan’s walk away, it’s best not to give the boy anymore attention.

"We should do it now."

"What'd you mean? He's still acting like he can't stand her."

"No, they made up. I heard her yelling at him about it. He caved pretty quickly after that. We do it tonight, no more sneaking around and hopefully they get together." Beast Boy nods, watching Raven ice his ankle for him.

"Thanks, mama."

"... You're welcome." He smiles flicking some water on his girlfriend, she looks at him with a sad excuse for a glare.

"Alright, the ice should stay. Let's go see if she's back." Raven makes sure to keep Beast Boy off his ankle, quickly shooing him off to the empty living room couch. They don’t wait long for Robin, Starfire, and Ladybug to return.

"Thanks again for coming to help, guys." Starfire smiles. Robin nods.

"It was our pleasure, what shall we do now?"

"Movie?" Beast Boy asks, getting immediate yeses from the girls.

"I'll pass-"

"Come on." Raven complains, the guy can be such a pain.

"tt, no. That doesn't work on me."

"Pretty please?" Starfire asks. She pulls out the baby doll eyes and a pout.

"No, the physical appearance of the 'please' makes no difference-"

"Please?" Ladybug pulls out all the stops, she looks him right in the eyes, those big, blue, innocent eyes were so sad and pretty, she shuffles a foot, her hands behind her back. Her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly as her torso sways back and forth. His response is immediate.

"Yes." Ladybug grins in victory, Damian doesn’t get the chance to backpedal.

"Yay!" Starfire quickly steals Robin's usual seat. Raven and Beast Boy take up one side of the couch, Robin and Ladybug take up the other. Everyone bickers and argues over which movie to watch until Robin gets annoyed and plays one of the few movies he can bear. Lion King.

Throughout the duration of the film, Beast Boy slowly pushes Ladybug closer to him laying longways until he takes up the majority of the couch. Ladybug is squished against Robin, their arms pressing uncomfortably against each other. Deciding to test the waters, Robin wraps an arm around the Parisian's shoulder. The lights were off but the girl's blush is obvious. She has yet to move, he feels her glance in the opposite direction for a moment before leaning onto him.

Damian wasn't freaking out... Okay, Damian was only freaking out a little. He didn’t do well last time he saw she likes him. What should he do now? An annoying and sarcastic voice told him not to ignore her but they weren't much help. The little Grayson in Damian's mind told him to pull her a little closer, maybe kiss her head to make his intentions more clear. She still isn't aware of his affection towards her. He does the first, he could all but see the little Grayson smiling. Robin has no clue what to do next so he just does his best to watch the movie.

The lights come on far too soon, Ladybug doesn't move to get off him until she notices the lights turn on. She blushes that adorable shade of pink. That's when he sees it, just behind a blushing bluenette is Raven snuggling with Beast Boy as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. His brows furrow, his arm falls of Ladybugs shoulder. It was clear this isn’t a one time thing or anything of the sort. They know exactly what they’re doing, they’ve been seeing each other and she didn't tell him. After all the times he spoke about Ladybug, she didn't care to mention her own relationship.

Ladybug follows his line of sight, her posture goes from relaxed to tense.

To Marinette it’s like confirmation to something she knew all along, he likes Raven. Maybe he only wrapped his arm around her because of how squished they were. Which means she completely misread the situation and leaned onto him when he was just trying to be comfortable.

"I knew it!" Starfire exclaims, beaming. Raven just looks away trying or hide her small smile. Ladybug is happy their happy but Robin just walks away, his face neutral. She hates when he makes that face. Soon Starfire has to leave and Beast Boy hobbles to his room, ankle still tender.

Ladybug's overthinking keeps her in place, staring at her hands. She doesn’t even notice that Raven is still in the room with her.

"You should go talk to him."

"W-what? Me? No, he doesn't want to talk to me." Ladybug tried to say no but she couldn't help but be worried for Robin. Raven gives her a look, she relents.

"Fine." Ladybug drags herself to where she knows he'll be. He was always on the roof when he has to think. She mentally prepares herself for an undeniable, verbal confirmation that he doesn't like her, she forces herself to go- to be there for him.

"Go away." Damian is in no mood to deal with Raven, how could she not tell him?

"You can't get rid of a bug that easily, Rob." He chastises himself for being rude to Ladybug again, at least she doesn't sound upset because of it. She doesn't say anything, sitting next to him as they look over the brightly lit cityscape.

"Wanna talk about it?" He doesn't respond. The little Grayson, encouraged by the success of last time, tries to get Damian to hold her hand. Their hands were so close, just a few inches apart. That definitely isn't happening. "Right..." She trails off, not knowing what else to say. The silence grows, unchecked like a cancer.

"I- Just- Why wouldn't she tell me? After-" Robin was about to say too much but thankfully stopped himself.

"After what?" He’s relieved she’s still ignorant of his affection, putting himself out there like that’s a scary thought.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"After you told her you like her." She speaks with such certainty, like she’s accepted it as fact. Is that what she really thought?

"What? No- I just- confided in her about something similar. I expected she'd do the same. She's one of my best friends." He sees Ladybug nod, that same look of on her face.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. They probably just wanted to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell everyone." Robin had to admit she was probably right. He saw the way her hands fiddled and folded, she was trying to think of something to talk about, likely to distract him. She was always so considerate.

"So... girlfriend."

"Where'd you hear that?" He was so confused, the very idea is ridiculous.

"Well, you said you confided in Raven about something similar. I just assumed you had a partner."

"Oh. No." They sat in silence again, looking over the silent harbor. Damian gathers his courage, now is the perfect time- looking over a clear sky with the stars out. Isn't this the kind of situation girls daydream about? Now was the most likely time for her to accept. Deciding to just get it out, Damian starts speaking.

"Actually there's-"

"I know you probably don't-" Of course, just as Robin starts speaking, she does too. Alarm bells start ringing in his head, the little Grayson is trying to figure out what she was going to say while the rest of him starts freaking out.

They awkwardly laugh, looking away, Damian feels an unfamiliar little burning sensation on his cheeks. He’s loosing more of his nerve by the second.

"ILikeYou,LikeLikeLike." She just blurts it out, redder than her costume. Damian's head snaps to her with his lips parted. This is happening.

"I feel the same way. I- I apologize I didn't say so sooner I just- you said you were so busy already, I didn't want to become a distraction." Ladybug gives him a small smile, that was what that was about. She fondly wipes the hair from his forehead back, lacing her fingers through his hair. Her hand rested at the back of his neck, smiling. She looks so content, at peace.

"I see no issue in distractions."

"I suppose this is the part of the story where we kiss?" Robin puts a hand on the Parisian's cheek, inching closer. They move to close the gap until they were just a hairsbreadth away. Her eyes are so blue and so beautiful up-close.

"I suppose you'd be correct." Their lips meet, the beautiful night sky behind them- everything else melting away.

#daminette #maribat #MarinetteDupain-Cheng #damianwayne #teentitan #crossover #miraculous #dc #batman #beastboyxraven #damian x marinette #starfire #ml akuma

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flowerismi · 3 years

Text

Experience, Chapter 3

I wanna thank you all again for reading and liking this fanfic! It's really appreciated ❤️

It had been a little over two weeks since Hinata started working for Sasuke. And it was going pretty well so far. With some minor bumps in the road. Or more like, people in the road. But anyway, Hinata had gotten an idea of what her boss liked and didn't like. He liked chicken for lunch. He didn't eat red meat. Black coffee from morning, until he left work. He was always early, and no matter what, Hinata never came to work before him. She even tried being there at 07... An hour and a half before everyone else got to work. But he was still there first. He liked things neat and organized. Both at work and at home. Hinata was never at his house when Sasuke was home. She only stopped by to get his suits, or to deliver his suits back.

Hinata was also beginning to get to know some of her colleagues. Beside Naruto, she also met some nice people named Kiba, Shino, Lee, Tenten and Tamaki. Kiba, Tenten and Lee had only been working for the company for a little over a year. While Shino and Tamaki had been working there for two and a half years. Hinata enjoyed spending time with them. Even though they were a little older than her. Kiba, Tenten and Lee being 25. And Shino and Tamaki being 26. They would meet up for lunch and then separate again after. Today they had decided to eat lunch in the buildings garden. The garden was placed as a bridge between their building and the neighbor building. So both companies had access to the garden.

"Ah man I can't stand it anymore!"

Kiba yelled out. The gang looked up at him.

"What's the matter Kiba?"

Tamaki asked as she sat down on one of the many benches.

"My manager wants me to come in next saturday... Apparently some big client is coming by and they need me to show them how the IT apartment is working..."

Hinata looked at Kiba. She knew what he was referring to. She also had to meet in that saturday. It was the only day this clients could come for a meeting with Sasuke. Apparently some truck had crashed and damaged materials worth a lot of money. This had caused trouble for the company's big clients. Who were now very pissed. And Sasuke had to deal with them.

"What are you talking about!"

Tenten said annoyed. The gang looked at Tenten.

"I wish I had that kind of responsibility! Instead I get to sit in meetings all day and write stuff down."

Tenten continued, irritated.

"You'll get there don't worry..."

Shino reassured her. They worked in the same department. A lot of their work were meetings after meetings. A lot of people had to agree on certain things. And that called for a lot of negotiation. Hinata took a bite of her sandwich. 'Weekend?... I wish I was free on the weekends...' Hinata thought to herself. Even though she didn't go to work saturday or sunday. She still had a lot of work. She knew that Sasuke's mail would be filled up in no time. So instead of being stressed out the entire monday. She had worked both saturday and sunday from home. Sasuke had both a privat mail.

And a work mail, where clients and manufacturers contacted him. And the work mail was Hinata's responsibility. But Hinata didn't do much either way, on the weekends. Normally she would go for a run. Hang out at the park, or read a good book at home. Maybe do some laundry, and clean her apartment. Which reminded her.

"Oh no..."

Hinata said and face palmed herself. The others around her looked up at her.

"What's wrong Hinata!?"

Tenten asked.

"Did something happen?"

Lee asked.

"I forgot to hang up my laundry this morning..."

Hinata answered.

"Oh that sucks..."

Tamaki replied.

"It'll become all smelly now..."

Hinata said with a sad voice.

"Maybe you could go hang it up and then come back...? I mean you don't live too far away right? You go by bicycle everyday..."

Tenten asked. Hinata looked up at her.

"It's 30 min... I can't... Mr. Uchiha have a meeting at 13:30. I won't make it..."

Hinata replied and sighed. They all became quiet for a moment, until Tamaki smirked to Hinata.

"Hey Hinata. How is it working for the big boss?..."

Tamaki asked. The others eyes lit up.

"Hinata you have to tell us! I want to know if he's as ice cold as he appears!"

Lee asked.

"What I uhm... I don't know... It's like working with any other person..."

Hinata said abashed with pink cheeks.

"You have got to be kidding right? Girl are you blind?"

Tamaki grabbed Hinata shoulders over the table and began shaking her.

"He's so fucking hot his clothes are ironing themselves!"

Tamaki erupted.

"Jeez come down Tamaki!"

Kiba yelled at her, and grabbed her arms to remove them from poor Hinata.

"She's right though. Those shoulders..."

Tenten said and smiled while resting her face in her hands.

"I haven't seen him much, but I rode the elevator with him once. He smelled so good!"

Tenten continued.

"Not just his shoulders! Have you seen his thighs and ass! Sometimes he wears those suits were the pants sits tight and it's just... sweet"

Tamaki said. Kiba, Shino and Lee had decided to ignore the women and were having their own conversation at the other end of the table. Hinata, on the other hand, was far away. Her mind had wondered off thinking of Sasuke's cologne and the way he loosened his tie. Tamaki was right. Sometimes he was wearing pants that was showing off his muscular thighs and butt. And just the thought made Hinata so embarrassed, she felt like hitting her head against the wall. She couldn't feel this way about her boss. And most definitely not talk about it with colleagues.

"I'll go get something to drink..."

Hinata said and stood up quickly. She wanted to get away for a moment to clear her head.

"Want me to come with you Hinata?"

Kiba asked. Tamaki sighed loudly at Kiba's question. Kiba looked over at Tamaki annoyed.

"Thank you Kiba. It's okay. I'll be back in a second"

Hinata said and hurried over to one of the many vending machines placed outside on the bridge.

"Seriously Kiba? You just wanna follow her around like a dog or something"

Tamaki said annoyed but with a smile.

"Shut it! She's obviously uncomfortable with the topic of conversation you two girls were having!"

Kiba argued back. Tamaki laughed.

"Sure like you and your colleagues down at manegment don't talk about Ms. Rin Nohara. And her cute face and tight ass huh?"

Tamaki argued back at Kiba. Kiba's face became red.

Hinata could hear Tamaki and Kiba voices arguing, as she stood by the vending machine. She was taking a moment to choose what to drink. And while thinking, her mind slowly calmed down and began focusing again. 'Why do I feel like this. What is this weird feeling in my stomach each time I see him or think about him...' Hinata thought to herself. She took a deep breath and chose a water with peach taste. She held it in her hands for a moment. Feeling a small breeze in her hair, and on her cheek.

That's when she heard the steps of high heels clicking on the floor. Hinata already knew who it was. She turned around, to face two women surrounding her. They both gave Hinata a nasty stare. These two women had been terrorizing Hinata since day one. These two women, were the women Hinata had met in the elevator. On her way to lunch with Sasuke, the very first day she was at the office. One of them had made Hinata trip, and almost fall.

Another time, one of them had made Hinata spill Sasuke's coffee all over herself. Luckily Hinata ran to the bathroom and quickly stripped herself. And she had been sitting with cold towels over her legs. So she hadn't gotten any serious burn marks. Only very red legs. Tamaki had been an angel that day, cause she had seen it all happen and ran to Hinata's rescue.

"I'm going to rip her fucking head off!"

Tamaki had been screaming, while holding the cold towels on Hinata's legs. Hinata was sitting on the toilet, trying to hold back the pain.

"It was an accident... She apologized..."

Hinata tried to say.

"And you seriously believe that!?"

Tamaki continued.

"You could get her stupid ass fired Hinata! You work for the fucking CEO of this place! Go show him your legs and tell him that bitch did this to you!"

Tamaki said and lowered her voice just an inch. Hinata hadn't answered. And after around 20 min, she had bowered some ekstra thighs that Tamaki had. Hinata had been late with the coffee. But Sasuke hadn't complained or even commented.

Furthermore, a third girl had made sure the copy machine in Hinata's small office, ran out of ink. She was an intern and it was her job to fill it. The same with paper for the copy machine. She had even went so far to change to language. Hinata had spent an hour trying to figure out how to make the copier work again.

After that, Shino and Tamaki had transferred another intern to be in charge of anything regarding Hinata's workplace. Which included the entire top floor. It had given Hinata a little piece of mind. Except now the intern was a young man, who just came out of high school. He was very immature. And he considered Hinata an extremely sexy woman. He would make inappropriate comments on her boobs, her ass, her clothes, and in general everything about Hinata. But Hinata felt, it was easier to deal with him. This young man would at least do his job. And he wouldn't stay for long. Because Sasuke could at any time, step out of his office. And everyone, especially interns, were afraid of disturbing the CEO. So Hinata would sometimes pretend to go to the bathroom. Or pretend to be talking to Sasuke, over the speaker on the desk phone. When actually, she didn't press the speaker. That made the rude young intern, run out as quickly as he came in.

Fortunately for Hinata, she never saw the nasty women or the rude intern dude, very often. They weren't employees who worked close to Sasuke. They were just regular employees in departments far from Hinata. So that was all of the nasty encounters she had experienced, for now. Which today may put a new one the list of nasty encounters with them.

The two women gave Hinata a nasty glance. Hinata held her breath and looked down at her water. She didn't know what to say or what to do. The two women wasn't saying anything either.

Tenten was trying to separate Tamaki and Kiba who were still arguing about who knows what.

"You guys seriously, pull yourself together! You're not children, you're grown adults ffs..."

Tenten tried saying. That's when Tenten saw that the two women had surrounded Hinata. Without thinking Tenten stood up and walked in their direction.

The one woman grabbed Hinata's bottle all of a sudden. Hinata flinched and tried to step back. But she was pushed up against the vending machine. The woman opened the bottle. She looked at the opened bottle, and then at Hinata. The woman then lifted the bottle over Hinata's head.

"Would be a shame if you spilled water all over yourself and that pretty dress of yours..."

The woman said and gave an evil smile to Hinata. Hinata gasped. She didn't know what to do. She felt so weak. She was getting bullied like some teen in high school. And she was too afraid to stand up for herself. Hinata shut her eyes, and waited for the cold water to hit her.

"Hey!"

A voice yelled. Hinata opened her eyes and saw Tenten holding the woman's arm. Tenten's grasp was tight. It was visible that the woman's arm was hurting.

"Let me go you freak! You're hurting me!"

The woman yelled out. Tenten didn't let go. She stared at the woman whose arm she was grasping. And then at the other woman, who was standing paralyzed beside them.

Tenten reached out and almost ripped the water bottle out of the woman's hand. She then let go of the woman's arm, and the two women hurried away.

"You're a fucking freak!"

They yelled before the sliding door, to the building, closed.

"Hinata are you alright?"

Tenten asked and held out the water bottle to her. Hinata was still shocked at what had just happened.

"I... I erhm... I'm fine... Thank you so much Tenten"

Hinata managed to say. Her voice a little shaken. Tenten smiled at her.

"Guys what happened!?"

Lee asked as, Tamaki, Kiba, Shino and himself came up behind Tenten.

"Was it those nasty women again?"

Shino asked calmly. Tenten nodded.

"They're so disgusting! Acting like crazy people or something like that!"

Kiba said angry.

"Hinata are you okay?"

Shino asked. Hinata held her water bottle close to herself. She wanted to hide, and never be found.

"Of course she's not okay... Those animals have been after her since day one..."

Tamaki said.

"Hinata... You have to stand up to them. Or if you don't wanna confront then personally, then report them to HR..."

Tenten tried to say. Hinata knew that they were right. But she couldn't take this fight now. There were a lot of complications. Firstly, Hinata was only temporary employed for now. She didn't want to spend the next two weeks fighting those awful women. She wanted to actually work and learn. Secondly. Hinata didn't have the confidence to stand up to these women. They were confident. They had been in the company for many years. It wasn't going to be an easy fight. And having as low self esteem as Hinata. This fight was probably not the best one for building up confidence in oneself.

The water bottle cap was on the ground. Hinata kneelt down and picked it up. She sighed and looked at it.

"I have an empty water bottle Hinata. You can put your water in it and throw that one out"

Tenten said, as she noticed Hinata looking depressed. Hinata put on a small smile and they walked over to the table again.

To be continued...

Well I couldn't write this without some side characters... And I adore all of the Naruto characters so 😘

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

Again it's a slow burn... And I really wanna create a setting, so it's gonna be a while before we get to the... Good stuff... Hehehehe 🤤😂❤️

First

Overview

#sasuhina #hyuga hinata #uchiha sasuke #slow burn #smut #angst #fluff #anime fanfic #anime fanfictions #anime fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic #fanfictions #naruto fanfiction

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pollylynn · 3 years

Photo

Title: Unexcogitable WC: 2000 Episode: Watershed (5 x 24)

There’s a little mystery to solve when he emerges from the lost weekend—the lost . . . however many days it’s been since he slammed himself into the high gear necessary to not just finish Deadly Heat, but to finish finish it. And he has been determined to finish finish it: is crossed, ts dotted, and every sentence Gina-proofed.

He wants a summer with her. A normal-for-them, no suspension, no secret relationship, no . . . immediate threat of a Bracken-sent assassin. There’ll be book tour stuff, of course. He’ll be in and out of the city. But he’s gotten good at coaxing her away for two days her, three days there. He has high hopes for on-the-road summer adventures with Kate.

But first there is a mystery to solve, almost right when he emerges.

He is rank. He has jeans and a shirt with buttons that’s deeply unfamiliar to him. He’s clutching potential cover art, and he cannot imagine where it came from. So it’s definitely been more than a lost weekend. None of that is the mystery, though. That's all part of high gear. It’s part of him being head down and dedicated to finish finishing the book.

The mystery is Kate related. There’s a text on his phone. When he pulls himself out of the Costa Rica funk—the funk of no one caring how many poisonous things and seasonally aggressive murder birds his daughter might encounter—he has a body drop text. It’s old, but not that old, and it’s not from her. He can tell at a glance from the random capitalization and arbitrarily missing letters that it’s from Esposito, and that’s odd enough to warrant calling her, even though he’s pretty sure he has already called . . . a lot.

Some number of minutes ago—or could it have been hours?—he remembers that he called to leave an almost certainly incoherent victory message as he’d hit save on his final final draft. And then . . . didn’t he call her to ask if he’d already called her? He’s more or less certain he called again, or maybe again again, to confess that he still had acknowledgments to write. And then one more time to ask in one high-anxiety run-on sentence if he thought it was okay to change his book jacket bio to say that he lives in New York City with his daughter, his mother, and his lady love, who wishes to remain mysterious .

But even though that’s all a lot, Esposito being the one to text definitely warrants one more call, doesn’t it? He decides it does. He’s stripping off his rank clothes and swapping the phone from hand to hand as it rings on speaker, as he tries to decide if a shower will suffice for detoxifying him, or if he might need some kind of industrial dunking combined with medical-grade abrasives.

The phone juggling is unnecessary. It’s five rings to voicemail again. It’s sticking his head out of the shower every twenty-two seconds, because he’s pretty sure he heard it ring, and why has in’t rung? But it hasn’t rung. It doesn’t ring, even though he’s washed and dressed and on his way. And that’s a bit of mystery.

It’s a bit more of a mystery when she shows up late and disheveled, when she looks as if she’s been caught in the act. Of what, he doesn’t know, and that’s cause for consternation. It’s cause for his guilt reflex to kick in. He can be a beast when he’s kicked it into high gear. He can be a boor and a bore and all kinds of unpleasant things starting with all the letters of the alphabet, so he wonders if he’s done something or if he’s failed to do something. He wonders if he’s managed to get on her nerves to the point that the only thing for it, apparently, is for her to take one of her psychotically long runs, where time and space fall away.

He looks her up and down. He takes in the blazer she’s still trying to button and the comparative disarray of her still-perfect hair. He is not getting psychotic-run vibe off her. He’s not sure what vibe he’s getting off her, and that calls for investigation

Or maybe it doesn’t call for investigation? Maybe it calls for space. Maybe it calls for butting out. Maybe it’s him or not him, and maybe she’s been to see Burke.

He wishes the prospect didn’t terrify him. It’s a problem that the prospect terrifies him, and he knows that. He kicks himself for it every time the name comes up, every time he over-the-shoulder snoops an entry in the calendar on her phone.

He wishes that he could get his brain to think of it as her going to her therapist, not him driving her to see a therapist. But he’s kind of not there. He’s kind of caught up in the little mysteries of what she’s thinking, feeling, considering at every second, and he’s kind of quite problematically caught up in the idea that she wouldn’t need a therapist if he didn’t occasionally disappear into his writing, if he weren’t more than occasionally a doofus who unwittingly hurts her, if he could be better across the board.

It’s foolishness, he knows, and damaging foolishness at that.

Moreover, it’s a lot for eleven in the morning. It’s a lot to read into a slightly wrinkle blazer and hair that only scores a fifteen on a scale of one to ten, so he consciously dials it down. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that this a lot and it’s unnecessary. It’s a text from Esposito, rather than her. It’s a few missed phone calls and her running the tiniest bit late.

It’s trivial. It's a minor mystery at best. He reminds himself that he has the whole summer work on the first one hundred mysteries of Kate Beckett.

**************************

There’s a little mystery to solve when he walks out on her into the welcome heat and riotous noise of New York in not-quite summer. Its solution might be beyond him. His meager powers might not be be up to solving the mystery of how he could have been so fucking stupid.

She lied to him. She’s been lying to him and he’s going to need a calendar to figure out how long that’s been going on. Since Stack, he realizes he steps, unseeing, into an intersection and pounds a fist into the hood of the car that nearly mows him down. Since the moment he asked what the man had wanted to talk to her about. It goes back at least that far.

And farther. He weaves like a drunk through traffic, human and not human, cars and not cars. He comes to the realization that her lies must stretch back so much farther, because she had that spin on this right at her fingertips. She had a ready-to-go narrative that he is the monster, he is the self-centered diva who would dare to be upset, he is the Neanderthal who would stand in the way of her career. He’ss the one who makes her lie, and that’s not something one comes up with on the fly.

She’d gone to the It’s my life well again, and that’s a fucking annual celebration. And that means she’s been lying since last summer. It means she’s been lying since the moment she swore that it wasn’t the storm, it wasn’t the dramatic gesture of quitting the force, it wasn’t almost dying that had brought the two of them crashing together at last.

She has been lying since day one. She has had one foot out the door all this time and deep down he fucking knew it.

He knew it when she ran off after Bracken solo the very morning after she’d sworn she was done.

He knew it when she lied to him and everyone and hid the letter from Bracken’s patsy would-be assassin.

He knew it when it was five rings to voice mail all morning.

He knew it when the text was from Esposito.

He knew it when she rushed in, disheveled, when she lied to his face about her phone being off, about Gates wanting to talk to her about nothing, when she crept out of his bed before dawn just this morning because she couldn’t stand lying there next to him for one second longer.

There has never been a moment when he hasn’t known, deep down in his sad-sack romantic soul, that this has always been one-sided. He has always known that she is his soul mate and he is not hers, and he has prayed for time, for mercy, for change. The pain of it is paralyzing, but the only mystery her is how the hell he has managed to be this fucking stupid for so long.

*************************

There's a mystery to solve when the rage breaks. It is not a little mystery and he may not have it in him to solve it.

He is the mystery. Who he has been, what he has done, what he has failed to do. He is the mystery.

She is not an innocent her. He does not—cannot—absolve her of the lies she’s told, the maneuvering she’s done to arrive at that outcome she’d already decided was inevitable. And if he loved her less, he wouldn’t want so badly to shake her for that, for all of the ways she has sold herself short, sold them short, counted what they are to one another short.

She has lied to him. She has lied to herself. There’s little he can do about that, save solve the mystery of himself.

He has held back. With her, he has always held back, the universe, with its whimsical sense of humor, has delivered that epiphany straight from the acid tongue of the least sympathetic mother in the world.

He would like to crawl away and lick his wounds. He would like a day, an hour, goddamned minute to just think through this realization. He has held back.

He has spent a year terrified that he’ll slip and tell her that he loves her, because they don’t say that, do they?.

He has spent a year manufacturing weekends when he needs to write, needs quality time with Alexis, needs a gaming night with the boys. He has spent a year conjuring space from the ether—a break from him—because he’s spent a year believing this is what she needs, this is how he doesn’t drive her away by being too much, too soon, too often.

He has spent a year not making a single comment on how stupid it is that there’s a his place and her place when they are together nearly every night

He has spent a year not letting himself wonder where they’ll be in another year.

He has spent a year telling himself This is enough. This has to be enough.

He has spent a year being a coward, letting the most damaged parts of himself insist on inertia, on silence, on asking nothing of the relationship that she was not actively, glaringly, eye-lollingly giving.

He is not responsible for her lies—for the caricature of him that she has manufactured to justify them. But he is not innocent of them, either. He, with his black certainty that everything between them is one-sided is not innocent at all.

He is a mystery he does not have time to solve right now. He is a mystery that he’ll have to wait to solve, he’ll have to work at solving.

He is a mystery with a ring in his pocket—a tiny weight that anchors him to what might be his one moment of bravery in the whole of the last year. He is a mystery on a mission.

A/N: Alternating rage and boredom—asymptotic to morphousness.

images via kissthemgoodbye

#Castle #Caskett #Castle: Season 5 #Castle: Watershed #Kate Beckett #Richard Castle #Martha Rodgers #Javier Esposito #Alexis Castle #Fic #Fanfic #Gina Cowell #Gina Griffin #Fanfiction #Fan Fic #Fan Fiction #Writing #Tell Me More

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petersasteria · 4 years

Text

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 - 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

Pairing: Harry Holland x Reader 5,170 words

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒

Harry felt so free. He just turned 18 and he was able to move out of his parents’ house and live on his own. The apartment building looked old, but it was home. His first ever home where he’s alone. Everyone was supportive of him, of course. They always knew he was independent.

He felt homesick from time to time, but that was normal. The apartment next to his was empty and it kind of saddened him that no one was living there. The rest of the units were taken, but they were all older than Harry. In short, it was difficult to make friends with people because the people there were either divorcee’s or really busy people who work at offices. He was on the young side.

Because of that situation, you could picture his excitement when he saw a moving truck outside his apartment building. Harry smiled excitedly and silently prayed that the person moving in was the same age as him and that they were moving in the apartment unit next to his. Otherwise, he’d be lonely in that building.

Well, he wasn’t totally lonely. Every morning Mrs. Johnson would smile at him when they get their mail together and sometimes invite him inside her apartment for tea and they’d talk about their families. She was a lovely old woman. Mr. Bradley would knock on Harry’s door from time to time to ask if he could babysit his son in case the babysitter cancelled. Then of course there’s Rick ‘The Maverick’ Nelson. He insisted that Harry should call him maverick. A maverick is a noun and it means an unorthodox or an independent-minded person which is totally the opposite of Rick ‘The Maverick’ Nelson. He’s a divorcee and every weekend, his 8 year old daughter would come over. Harry didn’t really care about the kid going there, but what he did care about was the fact that Rick would always drink. It made him worry about the 8 year old. So whenever the 8 year old kid was around, Harry would give her a few sweets and sometimes would take her to the park nearby (with Rick’s permission, of course).

As soon as Harry arrived on his floor, he was ecstatic to see a girl around his age bringing in the last box in the now occupied apartment. Harry knew he had to introduce himself because he finally had someone his age to talk to. He was truly happy!

He decided that he should look for something in his house to give to you, so he rushed inside his apartment and immediately looked for something. A pan? No, Sam uses it whenever he visits. Body lotion? He uses it because of his skin care routine. Cologne? He only has one. A house plant? His mum would be upset if he gave his one and only house plant away. Harry settled for a box of pizza. He called and thirty minutes later, the pizza was delivered to his door. He fixed his hair one last time and left his apartment to knock on the apartment next door.

The door opened and Harry smiled, “Hi, I’m Harry! I live next door. I bought you some pizza as a welcome gift.” He handed the pizza to you despite your awkward smile.

“Um, thanks.” You said as he handed the pizza to you. Both of you just stood there for a minute. He was just looking at you all giggly and smiley, but you were looking elsewhere, avoiding his gaze. “Well, uh, thanks for the pizza.” You told him with a tight-lipped smile.

“You’re welcome!” Harry grinned.

“Okay… you can go now.” You said, backing up a bit, getting ready to get inside and close the door.

“I’m actually not busy. I could help you unpack or something.” Harry said. He was desperate.

“That’s okay. I don’t have a lot of things, anyway.” You shrugged off.

“But there was a moving truck awhile ago.” Harry pointed out.

“Believe it or not, when I got here, someone was moving out. Hence, the moving truck. I only got here in an Uber with four boxes and a foldable mattress.” You awkwardly chuckled. Harry blushed in embarrassment and said, “Oh, I see.”

“Yup.” You said. It was really awkward.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Harry said and smiled. “If you need anything, I’ll just be there next door.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Thanks again.” You said with a small smile.

“Okay. Bye!” Harry said.

“Bye.” You smiled before quickly getting in and closing the door. Harry sighed and bowed his head down.

“That went well.” A voice said from across the hall.

Harry looked up and turned around to see Mr. Bradley and his son. Harry awkwardly chuckled and waved at them.

“She’s pretty.” Mr. Bradley’s son said. He’s 5 years old.

“She is.” Harry nodded in agreement.

“Ask her out.” Mr. Bradley said and winked.

“Maybe next time.” Harry said with a smile.

“Good luck!” Mr. Bradley’s son said with a cute smile.

“Thanks, little dude.” Harry smiled too. The 5 year old’s smile was contagious, after all.

Birthday

Harry didn’t want to be nosy, but he was really curious as to why you had a bouquet of flowers on your doorstep. He looked around to see if anyone was looking before picking up the bouquet. ‘To: Y/N’ was written in beautiful cursive. A million thoughts were running through his head and he didn’t know how to react: who was it from? Do you have a boyfriend? Why isn’t your boyfriend around? Is he hiding as a surprise?

His thoughts were cut off when you arrived.

“What’re you doing?” You asked. Harry slightly jumped in shock. He turned around and looked at you and looked at the flowers and looked at you again.

“N-Nothing! I just saw these on your doorstep and I was just going to give it.. to you.” Harry smiled and handed you the bouquet. You took it from him with a suspicious look on your face.

You read the card and smiled a bit before turning to him with a b;ank expression, “Thank you for handing to me.”

“You’re welcome. What’s the occasion?” He asked.

“Nothing special.” You shrugged as you moved around him to unlock your door.

“Flowers are involved… it has to be a special occasion. Is it an anniversary?” He asked once more.

“I’m single, so it’s definitely not an anniversary.” You chuckled humorlessly.

“Um...a secret admirer?”

“Nope.” You shook your head. Harry opened his mouth to guess again, but you cut him off. “It’s actually my birthday. The people who raised me sent me these which is surprising because they’re usually super cold and shit.”

“Oh, happy birthday! Why didn’t you say so? Let’s celebrate!” Harry cheered.

“I don’t celebrate my birthday, sorry. Thank you, though.” You nodded at him.

“Why not?” Harry frowned. “It only happens once a year and-”

“Exactly. It only happens once a year and there’s not much to do, anyway. If I threw a party, the whole place would be a mess and no one would clean it up except for me.. the celebrant. Plus, I have to spend money for the food and drinks for people who I secretly find annoying, but I invite them anyway so that they won’t nag me for not inviting them.” You rambled.

“And I totally get that, but it could just be the two of us, y’know?” Harry suggested. You stared at him, “...Is this your way of asking me out? Because I don’t want to date anyone. Not right now, at least.”

Harry blushed, “O-Of course not! We could celebrate as friends.”

“I only know your first name and that you live next door.” You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow.

“This is our chance to get to know each other then.” Harry smiled. “What do you say? Wanna celebrate? There’ll be no party and it’ll just be you and me. My treat, so that you don’t have to spend. It’s my birthday gift.”

You thought about it for a while before un-crossing your arms and nodding, “Fine. Let’s celebrate.”

“For real?!” He exclaimed.

“Yup. A little change won’t be so bad, I guess.” You gave him a small smile. “I’ll put these inside first and then we can go, okay?”

“Okay.” Harry smiled as he watched you go inside your apartment. A few seconds later, you exit your apartment, lock the door, and turn to Harry.

“So, where are we going?” You smiled.

Mother’s Day

You were making a fresh batch of cookies when you heard a knock on your door. You stopped what you were doing and waited for the knock to repeat in case you were just hearing things. When you heard the knock again, you washed your hands and made your way to the door.

“That’s weird. I’m not expecting anyone today.” You told yourself before opening the door. You were surprised to see a woman you’ve never seen in your life before. She was smiling at you and she had two boys with her.

“Um, hello.” You greeted politely.

“Hello, love! Harry never told us that he had a girlfriend.” The woman smiled excitedly. You looked at her dumbfounded. “I’m Harry’s mum. You can call me Nikki.”

“And I’m Dominic, Harry’s dad. But you can call me Dom.”

“This is my youngest, Paddy.” Nikki said with a smile.

“Hey.” Paddy nodded at you.

You smiled, “It’s nice to meet you all, but there must be a mistake. I don’t live with Harry nor am I his girlfriend. I’m his neighbor, Y/N. Harry lives next door.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Nikki blushed.

“It’s okay.” You chuckled. “It was an honest mistake.”

Just then, Harry’s apartment door opened and his eyes widened when he saw his family on your doorstep instead of his. “Mum! Dad! Paddy! That’s the wrong apartment.” Harry said, clearly embarrassed. He turned to you and said, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You shook your head and waved your hand, “It’s alright.”

Harry smiled and turned to Nikki, “Let’s go?”

“Yes, please! I’m starving.” Paddy said.

You all laughed and you said, “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it.”

“Let’s leave Y/N now. She’d want to spend Mother’s Day with her mum.” Harry said. You wanted to tell him that your mum was out of the picture, but you kept your mouth shut; not wanting to receive any look of pity and not wanting to answer questions about your personal life. Instead, you just smiled and nodded your head politely. You closed your door as soon as they left after you wished them a good lunch and a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to Nikki.

A few hours later, you hear another knock on your door. You opened the door only to reveal Harry with a small paper bag.

“We had leftovers at lunch and I figured I’d let you have it. My fridge is full, anyway.” Harry said and handed you the paper bag.

“Oh, thank you.” You smiled. Harry nodded and was about to leave when you stopped him, “Wait!”

He turned to you quickly and said, “Yeah?”

“I have an extra batch of cookies. Wait here.” You left and went to your small kitchen as Harry waited out in the hallway. He took a peek at your now furnished apartment and frowned at the sight of no visitor. Surely, you had one whilst he was away, right?

You came back and with a plastic Tupperware of cookies and gave it to Harry, “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiled and left.

His Birthday

Harry knocked on your door and he smiled when you opened it, “Hey Y/N!”

“Hey!” You smiled.

“Sam, my twin, is here and he cooked some food. Thought I’d give you some.” He handed you a Tupperware of food. You took it gratefully and thanked him.

“What’s the occasion?” You asked him.

“Mine and Sam’s birthday.” Harry said with a smile.

“Happy birthday!” You smiled.

“Thanks. There’ll be a party later tonight and I’d love for you to come.” Harry said.

You smiled sadly and said, “Parties aren’t really my thing and I have work tonight.”

“Oh, that’s okay.” Harry said, covering up his sadness.

“I’ll make it up to you. Are you free tomorrow?” You asked casually. You felt bad for him.

“Yes, I am actually.” Harry said. “But Sam is sleeping over.”

“You shrugged, “Take him with us. It’s his birthday too, after all.”

The next day, you kept your promise and took them to your favorite restaurant as a birthday treat for them. It was really fun and you got to meet Sam.

A Random Day

You were going back to your apartment when you saw Harry exiting his apartment to take out the trash. He looked up and smiled at you, “Good morning, Y/N!”

“Morning, Harry.” You greeted back. “I’m surprised you’re up early.”

“Same here.” Harry laughed. “My parents are dropping off Paddy here in an hour and I have to clean up a bit.”

“Oh, okay. Do you need help? I’m free.” You shrugged.

“That would be really nice, thank you.” Harry smiled gratefully.

“Okay, well, I’ll let you throw your trash first and I’ll get changed in my cleaning clothes. I have a lot of cleaning supplies in my storage closet. Living alone is lonely, you know. Cleaning keeps me occupied.” You chuckled lightly.

“I’m excited.” Harry laughed. You exchanged a few more sentences before Harry threw his trash and before you got in your apartment to gather your cleaning supplies and change your clothes.

Five minutes later, you knocked on Harry’s door with your cleaning attire and cleaning supplies. “Wow, you have the whole cleaning package.” Harry chortled as soon as he opened the door and saw you.

You shrugged, “What can I say? I’m Monica Geller.”

“Okay, then.” Harry smiled and let you in before closing the door. Both of you started cleaning up and before you knew it, there was a knock on Harry’s door. He opened it only to reveal his parents and Paddy. They entered the clean apartment with a shocked expression on their faces.

“It’s so clean in here.” Nikki said in awe.

“Y/N helped.” Harry said and looked at you gratefully, mouthing a small ‘thank you’. You smiled back and mouthed back, ‘you’re welcome’.

“Hello!” You greeted with a smile.

“Hello, Y/N! Thank you for helping Harry.” Nikki smiled. “It’s so nice of you to do that.”

“It’s no problem, really.” You smiled. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it.”

“Thanks again, Y/N.” Harry said before you left.

“Anytime, Harry.” You grinned before waving goodbye to everyone and going back to your apartment.

Those happened for years and throughout the years Harry has known you, he realized that you’ve never had visitors in your apartment. It was such a mystery to him as to why you never had anyone come over. He never even saw any family member of yours. He’s been in your apartment a few times, but other than him, no one else went there.

The holidays were coming and the snow was covering the ground. Harry decided that enough was enough. He wanted to confront you about it. It wasn’t his business, but it was bothering him. It was lonely, after all. He just wanted to give you company.

He was on his way to his parents’ house for the holidays and he didn’t want to leave without asking you what the matter was.

He knocked on your door and you smiled when you answered it. “Hi Harry! Aren’t you supposed to go to your parents’ house?” You asked.

“Yeah, I’ll go tomorrow. I just wanted to hang out with you before I leave.” Harry explained.

You nodded, “Come in, then.” You opened the door wider for him to come in. He went in and took in your apartment’s interior. You didn’t even have Christmas decorations on.

He went in and made himself comfortable on the couch. You closed the door and joined him. “What’s up?” You turned to him and asked.

“Just wanted to talk, that’s all.”

“Is something bothering you?”

“Yeah, actually.” Harry bit his lip nervously. “I just noticed that throughout the years of us being neighbors, you never had anyone come over to your apartment. Y’know, it’s always quiet and you don’t go home during the holidays. I’m not trying to be nosy or anything. I’m just… concerned and curious.”

You oursed your lips and nodded. He saw this and said, “I’m so sorry for sounding like I’m prying into your personal life or anything. I’m just concerned.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“You kinda remind me of Becca from Pitch Perfect. Closed off and all that.” Harry said and you chuckled at his analogy.

“I’ll take that as a compliment because I love Becca.” You said with a smile. Then it went silent. The comfortable silence filled the room as you thought about telling Harry or not. You decided to tell him because you’ve been neighbors for so long and he’s the only person you’ve been talking to in the building.

“Fine, I’ll tell you.” You said, breaking the silence. Harry didn't say anything. He just turned to you and patiently waited for you to talk.

“I grew up in an orphanage. My mother couldn’t take care of me, so she dropped me off there. It was like Meet The Robinsons minus the genius and the looking like the Cornelius thing. To be clear, I was Goob and not Lewis. Except, I don’t have a bowler hat and this is getting way off topic.”

Harry laughed and nodded for you to continue.

“Anyway, based on my story about me being Goob, I wasn’t adopted by anyone. I was interviewed a couple times, but I guess no one ever liked me. So, I grew up in the orphanage and stayed there until I was 18. The people weren’t bad there, but they weren’t good either. I can’t really describe them, so all I can really say is that they’re cold people.”

“When I turned 18, though, they gave me the biggest surprise ever. I was given a huge sum of money and a key to a decent apartment. I packed up my things and left that day and moved here immediately. I’ve never looked back since.”

“Remember the flowers on my doorstep?” You asked and he nodded. “It was from the orphanage. I was surprised that they remembered.”

“What about your friends from school? Or the ones who were adopted? Surely, you had contact with them.” Harry asked.

“Those who were adopted became bitches and we were kids. Those were empty promises. I expected a call from the first kid who was adopted, but after a few more kids you start losing hope that they’d call, y’know? Besides, I heard from the orphanage that one of those kids is in jail now for robbery. Big yikes.” You said casually.

“Big yikes, indeed.” Harry nodded in agreement.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m leaving this apartment next year.” You told him which took him by surprise.

“Next year? Why? Where will you go?” Harry frowned.

“I got a promotion, but they want me in Singapore.” You explained.

“Well, it’s Christmas in three days and now that you’ve told me all about you, I really don’t want your last Christmas to be alone.” Harry said.

“I’ve been alone for as long as I can remember, Harry. I’m used to it, really.” You chuckled lightly.

“You don’t have to be. I’m going home to my family tomorrow and I’d like to take you with me. It may not be the family that you want, but it’s the family you need. So, what do you say?” Harry asked.

“I don’t want to ruin your holiday. Besides, it’s family members only and if it didn’t already occur to you, I’m not family.” You said.

“You’re a family friend, though. That HAS to count.” Harry said. “I hope you know that I won’t stop until you say yes.”

You playfully rolled your eyes and said, “Okay, I’ll go, so that you can shut up.”

“Good.” Harry grinned. “I promise you that we’ll have so much fun!”

The next day, you and Harry were on your way to his childhood home. The drive was a bit long, but it was fun and filled with singing. You arrived there 45 minutes later and you were extremely nervous. You’ve met all of them except for Tom and Tessa. You didn’t even know he was related to the Spider-Man actor mainly because you didn’t know Harry’s last name and you’re not active on social media. And like Becca, you don’t watch movies.

Both of you got out of the car and brought your bags to the front door. Harry unlocked the door and both of you went into the cozy house. You looked around and immediately noticed the smell wafting through the house. It smelled of fresh baked cookies and cinnamon.

“Harry and Y/N are here!” Paddy announced and everyone went and greeted both of you. A familiar face smiled at you and said, “Hi, I’m Tom. Harry’s older brother.”

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled. “You know, you look familiar.”

“I do?” Tom furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah. The kid from ‘The Impossible’. You look like him. I don’t watch a lot of movies, but I remember faces of the cast.”

“Oh, that’s me, love.” Tom chuckled.

Your eyes widened, “Really?! Wow. That’s so cool! What’re you up to these days?”

“I still act and I’m in Spider-Man.” Tom said. “Do you really not know?”

“She doesn’t watch movies.” Harry said. “So she doesn’t know your movies.”

“Or movies in general.” You chimed in causing all of you to laugh.

“We’ll let you guys get settled in, then.” Nikki smiled. “Sam, show Y/N her room.”

Sam smiled at you, “Hello, m’lady. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“Hello and it’s been a while indeed.” You chuckled as you and Sam went upstairs to the spare room that was cleaned up especially for you. As soon as you got settled in, you went downstairs to hang out with everyone.

Your time with the Hollands has been wonderful. They never made you feel like an outcast, they treated you like you were one of them. Tom made you watch a lot of movies, especially the ones he was in. You and Sam cooked and baked together. You played with Paddy and Tessa. You went last minute shopping with Nikki and you helped Dom in brainstorming ideas for a new book.

It was now Christmas Eve and you were preparing dinner with Sam when suddenly you felt someone giving you a side hug. You slightly turned your head and smiled when you saw Nikki. She smiled back before pulling away.

“I’m sorry about that. It just felt right.” Nikki said shyly before helping out in the kitchen.

You never experienced a mother’s hug before. In fact, you’ve never experienced a hug before. It was nice for a change and it was at that moment you knew that Harry was right. His family was a family that you needed. Sure, they weren’t perfect and you were sure that they had arguments here and there, but you could see that they really took care of each other and loved each other. It was also obvious that they would do anything for each other.

As you sat down for dinner, you couldn’t help but think that you were on the outside looking in. Honestly, you didn’t mind observing. Laughter filled the table and warm smiles were shared as they passed the food around. And for the first time in your life, you felt like you belonged.

After a week, you and Harry were packing up again to go back to your apartment. “Thank you so much for having me. I’m truly grateful for it.” You smiled at them while you stood on their doorstep. Harry was busy loading up your things in his car.

“It’s no problem, Y/N.” Dom said.

“Yeah, and you’re welcome to stay here as well. We love having you around.” Nikki smiled. “It’s quite sad that you’re going to Singapore next year. If I had known that you were going next year, I would’ve told Harry to bring you every Christmas since you’ve met.”

You chuckled and said, “I’ll be keeping in touch, Nikki.”

“I know.” She said and stepped forward to hold both of your hands. “It’s just sad that I’ll lose someone who I think of as a daughter. While I had so much fun with you every time I visit Harry and while I especially had fun having you here for a few days, I have to let you go to have fun on your own in Singapore.”

Both of you teared up and hugged for a while. Harry cleared his throat and said, “I’m sorry to cut this moment short, but we have to go, Y/N.”

You pulled away and wiped your tears, “Okay. Thank you again for having me!”

“You’re most welcome.” Nikki smiled, kissed your cheek, and wished you good luck in Singapore. You walked to the car and Harry stayed behind to say goodbye to his family.

“You should tell her how you feel, Harry.” Tom chimed in. “Y’know, before it’s too late.”

“I don’t feel anything about her, Tom.” Harry lied. Of course he felt something for you.

“I’m not stupid. I know the look of love when I see one.” Tom chuckled.

“He’s right.” Nikki said. “Listen to me; I’m your mum.”

“I’ll think about it.” Harry said. He bid his goodbyes once more before jogging to the car and getting in. The drive back home was just as fun as the drive going to his childhood home.

Harry didn’t know what to do. It’s been three days since you got back and he hasn’t seen you. You were too busy packing your things and giving some of your things away. Packing for Singapore really made you busy. Harry wanted to help, but that would make it real. He didn’t want it to be real. One thing was for sure, though. He promised to drive you to the airport.

As much as Harry hated it, the day he dreaded most finally came: your flight to Singapore. Some of your things were already shipped there while your other things were donated or sold. Harry parked the car and helped you get your things from the car.

He walked you inside and stopped when you reached a point where Harry wasn’t allowed in anymore. “It seemed like yesterday when you were moving into your apartment with just four boxes and a foldable mattress.” Harry said, making you laugh. “Now you’re going to Singapore with two big suitcases and a carry on. You leveled up.”

“Thank you.” You playfully bowed your head.

“Before you go, there’s something I want to tell you.” Harry said nervously.

“My flight’s boarding in five minutes, but sure. Tell me.” You said to him. He took a deep breath and looked in your eyes.

“Y/N, I love you.” He said seriously, your eyes going wide as saucers. You clearly didn’t expect that. “I’ve loved you even before and I’ll love you from here on out. I’ll support you and I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.”

“Oh, Harry.” You smiled sadly. “I love you too, but…”

“But what?”

“I can’t do this whole relationship thing. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“Aren’t you willing to try?” Harry pleaded, but you shook your head.

“It doesn’t always work, Harry. I’m sorry.” You said sadly.

Harry nodded and asked, “Will I ever see you again? Will you come back here?”

“I don’t know, but all I know is that I can’t stay here.” You frowned. You looked at each other with sad eyes and you leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Goodbye, Harry and thank you.”

“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you too.” Harry pulled you in for a quick hug before letting you go. He watched as you walked away. His heart was broken, but something inside him told him that yours and his story hasn’t ended yet.

He was right.

It took him five months to think about it and it only took his cousin’s wedding to finally decide what he should do. Your last encounter with him at the airport didn’t affect your friendship which he was grateful for.

Harry didn’t even stay at the wedding long because he walked out after his cousin and her husband said their ‘I do’s’. He rushed home in a cab and packed his things and rushed to the airport to buy a ticket to Singapore. He successfully got a ticket and rushed to the gate where he needed to be. His phone rang and he hurriedly took it out of his pocket and answered it as he ran.

“Hello?”

“Harry! Where the bloody hell did you go?” Tom hissed.

“I can’t talk right now. I’m at the airport.” Harry said, out of breath from all the running.

“Airport?! Where are you going?” Tom shrieked.

“Singapore. I’m going after her, Tom.” Harry said with a smile. He got through the gate and is now boarding the plane. “I’m on the plane now.”

“How long are you staying there?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know, but I’ll let you know when I land.” Harry said. “Bye!”

“Wait!-”

Harry hung up before Tom continued speaking. Harry got seated and in truth, he was excited to see you. He could almost imagine the look on your face when you see him. Hours later, his plane landed in Singapore and after a few minutes of getting off the plane and finding his suitcase, he hailed a cab and immediately told the cab driver where you lived. He remembered that you weren’t working today and he was so happy.

Harry paid the cab driver when he arrived at your apartment building and he was nervous. He got out of the cab and went into your building. He searched for your apartment number and was elated when he saw it at the end of the hall. He grinned and knocked on the door and waited for you to answer.

You opened the door and gasped when you saw him. He smiled shyly and said, “Hi, there.”

“Hi Harry.” You smiled brightly and pulled him in for a tight hug. He pulled away after a minute and you asked, “What’re you doing here?”

“You said you couldn’t stay in London, so I came to you.” Harry grinned. “Although, I have to go back after two weeks because I need a visa if I’m staying here with you and-”

“Shut up and kiss me.” You smiled and pulled him in for a long awaited kiss.

* * * *

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @sufwubi @abrielleholland @purplepizza-summerrain @marshxx @lizzyosterfield @justanamesstuff @croissantwriting @blueleatherbag @euphorichxlland @givebuckyhisplumsnow

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @justasmisunderstoodasloki @allyz @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @drie-the-derp @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @geminiparkers @holland-styles @calltothewild @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual @theonly1outof-a-billion @piscesparker @unsaidholland @musicalkeys @lost-in-the-stars03 @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @parkerpeter24 @bellelittleoff @agentnataliahofferson @aqiise @lexirv @blairscott @pearly-pisces @u-rrose @speedymaximoff @theliterarymess @beequeen8020 @justafangirlduh @sarcasticallywitty15

#harry holland #harry holland imagines #harry holland one shots #harry holland imagine #harry holland one shot #harry holland x reader #harry holland x y/n #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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vampiregirl1797 · 4 years

Text

Moments in Time

Peter Kavinsky x Reader

GIF Not Mine.

Click Here For Masterlist.

Summary: A collection of moments of your relationship with Peter since you started “officially” dating.

Word Count: 9,724– whoops, couldn’t help myself.

Warnings: Smut, oral female receiving, hand jobs female and male receiving, sexual intercourse. If there are anymore I’ve missed let me know and I’ll add them in!

Peter and I had started dating just before Christmas break. Of course we’d been “fake dating” for three months at that point after my five secret love letters had gotten mailed out by my younger sister. He’d wanted to make Genevieve jealous, and I’d wanted to avoid my controlling ex boyfriend who had been badgering me for weeks after I broke up with him. Neither of us had planned on developing feelings, and when I’d realised I was in real danger of falling in love with Peter Kavinsky it had been on the ski trip. It had been on the ride up there when he’d revealed a playlist he’d created, compiled of music he knew I liked, for us to listen to. He’d also bought snacks and drinks he knew I liked. By the time we got there, I’d decided to take him aside and reveal my desire to terminate our fake relationship, because of my blossoming feelings for him. When he’d told me that he didn’t want to because he felt the same for me as I did for him, I’d been shocked and overjoyed. We’d spent the rest of the trip in a state of new relationship bliss, sharing kisses, affectionate touches and even sharing a bed. We hadn’t gone that far, but it had been nice to wake up in his arms, to hear his husky morning voice and see his adorable sleepy face.

We’d been together since that trip and our relationship was unbelievably wonderful. Better than my previous relationship with Frederick Layton, though we’d only been out on two dates he’d been unbearably controlling, and until Peter I’d wondered if that was what all relationships would be like. Thankfully, I’d been wrong, as we had a relationship built on trust, communication, love and passion.

My phone dinged on my dresser and I felt the smile grow on my face as I read the text Peter had just sent to me:

Just leaving my house, beautiful. I’ll be at yours soon, can’t wait to take you out.

It wasn’t our first date, at least I didn’t think it was— I’d say we’d already had a few, though none had been as official as this one— but it always made my heart warm whenever he expressed his happiness to be with me. I slid my phone into the pocket of my deep red skater dress, and slid my maroon high top converse onto my feet. Once I was sure I had my card wallet, along with a little cash in my other pocket I headed downstairs.

‘Hey honey.’ My dad’s voice greeted from the dinner table, where he and Kitty were eating the pizza they’d had delivered.

‘Hey dad.’ I smiled, walking over to ruffle Kitty’s hair and chuckling when she ducked away, ‘hey trouble.’

‘Hey Y/N.’ She replied, playfully slapping my hand away, ‘you look really pretty.’

‘Thanks kiddo.’ I said, making my way to the door as the bell rang.

‘Hey Pete.’ I murmured, reaching out and entwining our fingers together.

‘Hey beautiful.’ He kissed the back of my hand, my face flushing at the soft look in brown eyes, ‘you ready to go?’

‘Yeah.’ We walked out of the door with a quick goodbye to my dad and sister, and my dad making Peter promise to have me home by eleven.

I kissed his cheek as he held the passenger side of his jeep open for me, and I held his hand as he drove us to the restaurant. During the drive he told me about his day so far; he’d been putting in extra work outs in the mornings to prepare for lacrosse season starting up again when we went back to school.

‘I just need to do well, you know? Collages are gonna start sending out scouts soon and I need a scholarship.’ He said, biting his lower lip in a way that indicated how anxious he really was.

I waited until he’d put the car in park and turned off the engine before I spoke, my free hand caressing the side of his face as his hazel eyes stared into mine, ‘you’re going to get seen, Peter. I know it— you’re too good a lacrosse player to not get scouted by multiple collages. All you need to focus on is training and becoming the best player you can be.’

His eyes softened as he leaned forward, his forehead resting against mine, ‘thank you, honey.’ He whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as my hand moved from his cheek to his thick, dark hair, gently moving through the strands.

‘I got you Peter,’ I murmured, ‘I’ll always be in your corner.’

His hands wound around my waist, pulling me as close as he could in his Jeep. We held each other for a while, his face resting in the crook of my neck and my nose buried in his hair, inhaling his fresh, clean scent and something else that was just pure Peter Kavinsky. Eventually though, the sound of his stomach rumbling broke the moment, and we pulled apart with a chuckle and headed into the restaurant.

‘So I have to ask seeing as I’m a complete novice at this,’ I smiled in thanks as the waitress placed our drink orders on the table before leaving, ‘does this count as a first date, even though I’d already say we’ve had loads already?’ We had, but nothing as official as going out to a restaurant like we were now.

He grinned, taking a sip of his drink and leaning forward to hold my hands in his, I turned my hand and entwined our fingers together, enjoying the warmth he was emitting.

‘I’d say that a first date can be anything you want it to be.’ His thumb moved across the back of my hand and he smiled when he saw goose bumps break out across my skin from the smooth touch, ‘for me our first date was at the ski lodge before Christmas break last year.’

I blinked, surprised, ‘we only agreed to officially date on that trip.’

‘Exactly,’ he smiled, his eyes a little unfocused as if he were in a different memory, ‘and that night we shared the hot tub and I got to fall asleep with you in my arms. Best date ever.’

I blushed, but the smile that grew on my lips couldn’t be disputed, ‘it was wonderful. I’d say that was our first date, too. Waking up to you was amazing as well, I miss that.’ We hadn’t been able to share a bed since the ski trip, my father careful to assure we’d never have a reason for a sleepover, though we hadn’t broached the ‘sex’ territory yet, Peter had already done it but I hadn’t, and he promised to wait until I was ready.

‘Me too honey.’ He lifted my hands and kissed them, before lowering them to rest on the table again, ‘but I have an idea about how we can do that again, depending on if Chris is willing to cover for you.’

‘Hmm I’m interested, tell me more,’ I leaned forward, excited at the prospect of spending time with him, completely alone.

‘If you’re up for the idea, I know a great place we can go camping for the weekend. I used to go with my dad and brother before he left.’ His smile turned a little sad and I squeezed his hands in comfort, wishing there was something I could do to ease his pain, ‘I can get someone on the lacrosse team to cover for me, and if Chris will cover for you, we’ll be all set.’

‘That sounds perfect.’ I smiled, knowing my eyes were sparkling with happiness at the idea, ‘I’ll talk to her about it, she’ll probably ask for a few favours in return but it’ll be worth it.’

‘Awesome. Let me know, this weekend is one of the last good ones before the weather gets cold and lacrosse training really kicks in next week.’ He murmured, his thumb subconsciously moving against the back of my hands as he spoke. I think he did it without even thinking because he knew it comforted me; I’d told him a few weeks after we’d started “officially” dating, that his touch comforted me in a way that I couldn’t explain, and since he’d made a point to always be touching me in someway.

Our food came not long after and our conversation settled a little as we ate; I had carbonara and Peter had a pepperoni pizza, which he offered me a slice of in exchange for a taste of my food. After the meal Peter surrendered his keys to me, insisting that he was too full to drive, and I accepted them with a chuckle as I drove us back towards home. When I passed Lake Gaston and noted the empty car park I impulsively decided to drive in, entranced with the way the moonlight reflected off the water. That and the blissful silence, it was easy to pretend we weren’t in Virginia.

‘It’s beautiful here.’ I murmured, not really thinking about the words as they left my mouth.

‘It is.’ He agreed, but he was looking at me, not the scenery. He reached over, entwining our hands together and earning my gaze as I turned, taken away with how gorgeous he looked in the moonlight.

I gasped when his hands fell to my waist and he lifted me up onto his lap before I had time to ask what he was doing. My forehead fell against his and our lips melded together like two magnets that were powerless to resist the pull between them. His lips were soft, and his hands were warm as they trailed down from my shoulders to my waist, were they paused to pull me even closer to him. The friction caused me to gasp and his tongue slid into my open mouth without hesitation, moving against mine with a seductive slowness that made my knees feel weak. I didn’t know when my hands moved to his hair, I was too lost in what he was doing to me to pay attention to my own movements, but I became aware of it when a noise of pleasure emitted from between us. I tugged the strands a little and felt myself shuffle closer to him at the groan that escaped his mouth, attracted to his pleasure. My hips were completely aligned with his at that point; I could feel how much he wanted me, how ready he would have been if I’d reached down and released him from his jeans and asked him to take me. But that wasn’t how I wanted my first time to happen so my hands stayed where they were.

His didn’t.

They slid down my legs until he reached the hem of my dress and skated up to the tops of my thighs. I felt a nervous twinge in my stomach but I ignored it; we’d already spoken about boundaries and I trusted him not to violate my trust. His thumb gently skated over my centre, barely pushing the fabric of my underwear into where I was starting to throb with need. I pulled my lips away from his, my head moving to rest against his shoulder, my breath coming quickly as the pleasure he was giving me grew. His other hand moved to my back, softly stroking up and down the centre of my back in a comforting gesture. I felt myself melt into him and when he moved my underwear to the side and it was suddenly his fingers completely against my clit with nothing in between, my back arched from the shock and the incredible jolt that echoed throughout my body.

He moved back and forth, down to my entrance and back up again, repeating the motion and stopping on the bundle of nerves in between, before doing it all again. It wasn’t long before I was shaking, on the edge of my first ever orgasm inflicted by someone other than myself and my god, all the times I’d masturbated it had never been this good. The build up had never been this intense, and when I finally reached my release my vision flashed white and I stopped breathing, fully surrendering my body to the incredible pleasure that echoed throughout my body.

I didn’t know how long it took me to come back around, but when I did I was still on Peter’s lap. He was stroking my hair, whispering soft praises into my ear, and occasionally pausing to kiss my forehead.

‘Peter that was... amazing.’ I whispered, nuzzling into his neck and enjoying his scent as it invaded my nostrils.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it honey.’ He kissed my hair this time, and I could hear the soft smile in his voice.

‘Can I return the favour?’ I asked, somewhat timidly.

‘You don’t have to do that, Y/N. I can take care of myself when I get home, and trust me, I’ll need to. Watching you fall apart was the most arousing thing I’ve ever seen.’ His voice dropped to a husky tone that would have me rubbing my thighs together if I weren’t already straddling him.

‘I want to,’ I insisted, shuffling down and kneeling to the floor of the car so I could comfortably settle in between his legs, ‘but I’ve never done this before so tell me if I’m doing something you don’t like.’

‘Okay.’ He murmured, his voice barely loud enough for me to hear as my hands fell to the button on his jeans.

I undid it and unzipped the zipper, shooting him a grateful smile when he lifted his hips so I could pull his jeans and underwear down together. I tried to control my surprise at his size as he sprang up against his stomach without anything holding him in place. He was huge, at least to me he was— was eight inches big? I made a mental note to look it up later as my hand tentatively wrapped around the base of his shaft, encouraged by the noise that fell from his mouth I lifted it higher, all the way to the tip and then back down again. His hips jolted, involuntarily, as he tired to follow the movement of my hand, and I felt myself speed up in response, entranced with him. His hands were tangled in his hair, pulling at the strands at increasing force as I sped up around him, he was biting his lip, his eyes were focused on me and darker than I’d ever seen them, pleasure and arousal swimming in the almost chocolate brown depths. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, and I held his stare until he fell apart in my hand, his release coating my skin as I reached over for the tissues in my bag, I cleaned myself, as well as him though he didn’t seem to notice; his head was resting against his seat with a blissed out look on his face. Once I was done I tucked him back into his boxers and jeans before curling up on his lap, my hands moving gently though his hair as I patiently waited for him to recover.

‘That was amazing, honey.’ He eventually said, his voice sounding sore as he placed a chaste but lingering kiss on my lips.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’ I replied, my cheeks flushing almost immediately— was that a normal thing to say in these situations?

He chuckled and kissed my forehead but otherwise said nothing. We were both happy to bask in the comfortable silence and our afterglow until we realised the time and knew we needed to get me back home before my dad sent out a search party. He dropped me off five minutes before curfew and left me with an ‘I love you’ and a kiss that left us both breathless.

As I was laying in bed an hour later, I wondered how different school was going to be now Peter and I were officially together. But I knew, no changes mattered as long as Peter Kavinsky was there to hold my hand.

Peter had come in early to do some training with a few other guys on the lacrosse team, so I drove myself and Kitty to school the next day. Which was fine, I mean I didn’t like driving but I didn’t mind doing it when necessary. I actually got caught in traffic and ended up making it to school two minutes before the final bell rang, which left enough time for me to get to class, but meant that I didn’t get the chance to talk to anyone before I was thrown in to English class. I was pleased to see that Chris and I were together for Trigonometry second period, and third I had Lucas. First and fourth I was alone friendship wise and I was kinda grateful for it because English and Chemistry were my weakest subjects so I needed to concentrate.

By the time lunch rolled around I was starving and excited to see Peter— we’d been texting throughout the day but it wasn’t the same. I was walking as fast as possible towards the exit of the Chem room, hoping to get to the cafeteria asap, that I almost walked right past him. If he hadn’t grabbed the belt-loop on the shorts I was wearing, I would have missed him completely.

‘Peter.’ I breathed, my voice soft with surprise and delight.

‘Hey beautiful.’ He grinned, leaning down to rest his forehead against mine, his hands resting on my waist.

‘I don’t mean to sound all clingy or anything, but I missed you.’ I told him, my face flushing at the gently, adoring look that adorned his features following my admission, ‘it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.’

‘I wouldn’t say that’s clingy.’ He assured me, kissing my forehead and winding his arm around my waist as we started to walk to the cafeteria, ‘but if it is, I’m right there with you honey.’

We shared a smile, full of love, adoration and pure honey-moon phase happiness that I hoped didn’t dissipate completely. We ended up completely bypassing the cafeteria in favour of sitting on what I’d internally deemed as “our picnic table” near the tracks— the same place we’d written down our fake dating rules all those months ago. We both sat on the same side of the bench, his arm alternating between resting on my shoulders, on my thigh, holding my hand when it was free and playing with my hair.

‘I talked to Chris in second period, she said she’d cover for me this weekend.’ I told him, excitement filling my expression.

‘That’s great!’ He shared my enthusiasm, his wide, contagious grin lighting his face.

‘I know, we just need to work out the finer details but otherwise we’re good to go.’ My head rested on his shoulder, my packed lunch finished at that point.

‘If you pack a bag we can store it in my Jeep and we can leave straight from school on Friday.’ He suggested, his hand stroking my hair, his other entwined with my fingers.

‘Sounds perfect.’ And it did. Peter and I had never been truly alone to the point of no possible interruptions. We were alone in that moment, but it was only a matter of time before the bell rang and we were flooded with students headed to their next class. Our bubble never remained un-penetrated for long.

‘I want us to have sex on the trip.’ I said and immediately felt my teeth dig into my lower lip as if to reprimand me for my outburst.

You see, I didn’t have a filter around Peter, which I valued most of the time, it allowed for effective communication and it reflected how comfortable I was around him, to voice my thoughts without worrying about judgement. So despite the initial wave of embarrassment that flooded me following my declaration, I refused to let myself linger on it, knowing with Peter I always had a safe space to talk about anything, including my desire to lose my virginity.

I lifted my head from his shoulder to look at his expression, realising he hadn’t spoken for at least a minute. The surprise and shock on his face was to be expected, but I was a little worried that he seemed to be... frozen.

‘Peter?’ I murmured, my index finger gently tapping his forehead.

He blinked, his hazel eyes moving to mine and he shook his head as if to clear it, most likely realising my concern was due to his lack of an answer.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, my voice timid. Did he not want to take this step? Had he frozen because he was thinking of a way to let me down easily? ‘Pete, if you don’t think we’re ready for this then tell me, both of our feelings are important here.’

His eyes softened and he placed a kiss on my forehead, ‘I know that, honey. I was just surprised, I guess I wasn’t expecting it. That’s all. The way I reacted wasn’t because I don’t want to be with you that way, because I do. I just want you to be sure you’re not rushing into this because of me.’ His hazel eyes searched mine, and I kept eye contact when I spoke, wanting him to see my complete sincerity.

‘I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, Pete. I love you, you love me, and I trust you to take care of me.’ My hands went to either side of his face, ‘I’m sure.’

His hand gripped my right, lifting it and turning it over so he could kiss my palm.

‘Okay, in that case I’ll make sure we have protection for the weekend.’ He assured me, his thumb tracing over my cheekbone as I flushed, ‘and in the meantime, if you have any second thoughts and you change your mind then let me know. There’s no pressure, I’m happy to spend the weekend with you, with our without sex, okay?’

I was so soft in that moment you could have spread me on bread, ‘okay.’

I knew I wouldn’t change my mind, and the very fact he made sure to assure me that it would be okay that I did, only solidified my choice even further. I loved him, trusted him and he was without a doubt the one I wanted to take this step with.

A few days later after Peter had dropped me off at home, my dad handed me a letter, and as soon as I saw the return name and address, my stomach dropped.

The letters had gotten out months ago, and when I’d not heard anything from John Ambrose, I assumed his had got lost in the mail, or he’d read it been confused and creeped out and thrown it away. But the letter I was holding proved both of those theories wrong.

I took a breath and opened it, hoping to god it was a polite brush off and he wasn’t writing to tell me that I was a creepy weirdo.

Dear Y/N,

I couldn't believe when I opened that letter and it was from you. Wow. It's been, what, five years since we've seen each other? Not that I'm mad or anything. I was so happy to get it. I can't believe how mature you were at 11. God, when I was 11, my mom was still putting out snacks for me after school, but here you were with all these complex thoughts and emotions.

It's crazy.

Reading it reminded me of that time that we both got locked out after school. Remember that? We went to the Robertson's treehouse and read Harry Potter until it got dark. If I'd written you a love letter back then, I'm pretty sure it would've just said something like, um, "I liked reading with you. You're really pretty." But your letter was so much more than that. I just have one question: Why send it now?

Whatever the reason, I'm really glad I got to read it.

Yours, John Ambrose.

Okay, just a polite brush off like I was hoping, nothing to worry about. I headed up to my room, tossed my back pack onto my bed and sat at my desk. He deserved an explanation and maybe then this whole thing could just go away for good. I pulled out some stationary and started writing.

Dear John Ambrose,

I have to say your response surprised me, the letters got out almost six months ago, I’d assumed yours got lost in the mail or that you threw it away. Either way, you’re right and you do deserve an explanation. I went through a stage of writing letters whenever I got a crush so intense I didn’t know what to do about it. In total there were five, one to you, a guy from camp, Lucas from school, Josh from next door and Peter Kavinsky. My sister, Kitty, thought it would be a good idea to send them out and possibly get me out of my shell, which is why you received it now when I wrote it years ago. It actually worked, and Peter and I started dating, we’re still together now and honestly I’m kinda grateful to my sister for sending out the letters, because it never would have happened without it.

It was nice to hear from you, John Ambrose, I wish you all the best for the future.

Y/N.

There. All done, all finished. I placed it into an envelope, wrote the name and address on the front, and added the stamp. I didn’t seal it though. I’d never had a boyfriend, but I was pretty sure if I found out that a guy Peter used to like had written him a letter, I’d want to know about it.

I pulled my phone out of the back pocket of my high-waisted jeans and texted him— I knew he was probably out running like he did every day after school, so I didn’t want to disrupt him with a phone call.

Hey honey, can you come over tonight? There’s something I wanna talk to you about. It’s nothing bad, I promise.

Once that was sent, I headed to the shower and after that kept myself busy with homework. I was so deep in concentration that I jumped when someone knocked on the front door— the headache that my trig homework had given me didn’t help. I looked up from where I was sitting at the dining room table and headed over to answer it— Kitty was at a friends house and my dad was still at work, one of his patients had gone into labour an hour ago.

A bright smile broke across my face when I saw who it was, and I abandoned a verbal greeting in favour of wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his chest. He smelled of peppermint from his body wash, and a hint of vanilla from his shampoo. I could feel that his hair was still wet, so he must have showered after his run and come over straight away.

‘Hey honey,’ he murmured, kissing my hair, ‘everything okay?’

‘Fine, just something I thought you should know about.’ I told him, reluctant to pull away from his hold— I was feeling extra clingy tonight for whatever reason, and he must have realised it too, because he scooped me up. My legs wound around his waist and my face moved to the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply as a contented feeling wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a rainy day.

‘Where to?’ He asked, his voice soft. I vaguely registered the sound of the front door closing as he kicked it shut.

‘My room.’ I replied, trying to keep myself from falling asleep. I loved how safe I felt in his arms.

He carried me up with no problem and paused at my desk so I could grab both letters, and then moved to the centre of my bed, positioning me so I was comfortable curled up on his chest.

‘Now what did you need me to come over for, honey? Not that I’m complaining if you just called me over for some cuddles.’ He chuckled, kissing my forehead.

‘You remember the letters I wrote?’ I mumbled against the fabric of his shirt.

‘Yeah, one to me, some guy from UN, someone from camp, Josh and Lucas.’ His hand trailed up and down my back comfortingly.

‘Well, the guy from UN was John Ambrose McClaren.’ I said, too calm to be worried about his reaction.

‘No shit. McClaren? That was my boy.’ He grinned.

‘Well, he wrote me back.’ I handed him one of the letters in my hand and patiently waited as he read it.

‘He sounds pretty cool about it.’ He said once he was finished, placing it to the side and linking his fingers with my free hand, ‘are you gonna write him back?’

‘I’ve already written the letter, I figured he deserved an explanation as to why he received a love letter I wrote five years ago out of the blue.’ I held up the response in my free hand, ‘that’s why I called you over, I figured if this was the other way around then I’d wanna know about it, right?’

His eyes softened, his free hand gently moving through my hair, ‘right. So do you want me to read your response?’

I nodded, handing him the letter. I knew if I told him no that he would respect that, but I had no problems with him reading it. I had no feelings for John Ambrose anymore, they’d flickered out years ago, and I didn’t want Peter wondering if me keeping the letter from him was because those feelings still lingered. He finished it pretty quickly, kissed my forehead and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I didn’t particularly; I was so close to sleep that I didn’t think I’d last five minutes, but if it meant he’d stay and hold me for a few more hours I was all for it. I hummed in agreement and he turned on my TV and selected something, I couldn’t tell you what it was if my life depended on it. I was asleep within minutes.

‘Please chose your volunteer post wisely. You will be representing Adler at your chosen post.’ Principal Stevens reminded everyone in the cafeteria, that had temporarily turned into a volunteer centre with different booths scattered around.

I was looking around for the Bellevue booth when I was startled by warm hands wrapping around my waist.

‘Hey honey.’ He murmured into my neck, his warm breath made me shiver against him, I could feel his smirk before he continued, ‘you found the Bellevue booth yet?’

‘Nah, I just got here.’ I turned, my arms wrapping around his neck, his forehead resting against mine, ‘you and the boys signed up for Oakwood Market?’

‘Um—.’ He was cut off from Trevor appearing behind him and playfully slapping his shoulders.

‘Yo, K! What’s up big boy?’ He exclaimed. Peter shook his head with a chuckle and pulled me closer to him as he turned to give his friend a nod.

‘What’s up, Y/N?’ Trevor smiled.

‘Hey, Trevor.’ I returned his smile, my gaze returning to Peter quickly.

‘Yo, bro, so check it out. We already snagged six spots at Oakwood Market. Everybody's in, done deal.’ Trevor grinned, ruffling Peter’s hair in his excitement.

‘That’s great man.’ Pete smiled, removing a hand from my waist to playfully shove him, ‘sign me up will you? I’m gonna find the Bellevue booth with Y/N.’

He didn’t give him a chance to respond, his hand sliding around my waist and walking us in the direction of the booth I needed.

‘You don’t have to come with me you know,’ I told him a soft, amused smile on my lips, ‘just because we’re dating it doesn’t mean your friends aren’t a priority too.’

‘I know that.’ He held me closer and his next words were so quiet that I had to strain my hearing to catch them, ‘I’m feeling a little clingy today, honey.’

I was a little surprised; usually it was the other way around, but I didn’t comment, I just held him tighter against my side and reached over for his free hand and kissed his palm. If this is what he needed, I was more than happy to help ease him in anyway I could. He kissed the top of my head and when we reached the booth he moved behind me, his hands on my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder so we were cheek to cheek.

I wrote my name on the sheet, noting that I was the only one and turned to kiss Peter’s cheek when I was done. Before we could leave, Gen cornered us.

‘Of course you would do Bellevue.’ She snorted, ‘you’re so predictable, Y/N.’

‘I know right?’ I smiled sweetly, unable to help rolling my eyes. Honestly, how she hadn’t moved on by now and gotten tired of giving us a hard time I didn’t know.

‘I saw your story this weekend, Peter.’ She rolled her eyes and shot me a smug look, ‘Cordona’s? Classic Kavinsky. A little tip, Y/N, if you wanna fit into your jeans come summer, you should start ordering a salad.’

‘Just stop it Gen.’ Peter said, his voice sounded tired and lacking of patience and she must have noticed it too because she started, her expression becoming vulnerable for a split second before the mean facade was back in place, ‘that’s my favourite restaurant, and Y/N loves Italian, of course I took her there. Just because we dated it doesn’t mean that all of those places are off limits for us now. Grow up and stop being so childish.’

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was well and truly berated as she left without so much as a ‘whatever’ thrown over her shoulder.

I turned around in his arms, noting the way his shoulders were slumped, and his hazel eyes weren’t as bright as they usually were.

‘Well, we’re officially signed up for our volunteer programmes, you wanna get lunch off campus? My treat for all the running coach’ll make you do later.’ My hands gently moved through his thick brown locks as I talked.

‘I’d love that. I’m craving pizza.’ He squeezed my hand as we headed for his car, I took the keys and drove us to Cordona’s and got us a large half pepperoni and half cheese for us to share.

We stopped at the lake we’d paused at almost a week ago to eat, there were more cars, but no people; they were probably hiking around the water. I shifted onto Pete’s lap, the pizza laying open on the drivers seat, making it easy for us to reach over when we wanted a slice. We didn’t talk much as we ate, occasionally he’d offer me a bite of his pizza and I’d do the same to him, both of us trading gentle smiles and chaste kisses before we continued eating. It was peaceful being encased in our bubble, and I hoped that the atmosphere was as calming for him as it was for me. By the time the pizza was gone, we still had over half an hour before we had to be back to school, and it was only a ten minute drive. I tossed the left over crust into the pizza box and shook my head when Pete offered me some of the last slice.

My hand moved through his hair, noting the way his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into my touch as he swallowed the last of his pizza.

‘You feeling better, honey?’ It was the first words I’d spoken in a while, and I was pleased that the peaceful bubble around us didn’t pop at the disruption.

‘Loads, thank you for this Y/N.’ He kissed my forehead.

‘You don’t have to thank me, Pete. I told you, I’m here for you, always.’ I kissed his nose, chuckling at the way his nose wrinkled and a grin lit up his face.

My amusement faded abruptly when hands gently rested on either side of my face and bought my lips to his. He tasted of cheese, pepperoni and a hint of mint from the gum he’d been chewing before. His lips were soft and when his tongue slipped into my mouth again, I felt myself melt into him with a shudder. His hands glided down to my waist, pulling me closer to him and I briefly wondered when I’d turned to straddle him, but honestly in that moment I didn’t care. My fingers tugged at his hair and he groaned against my lips to kiss along the column of my throat, to behind my ear, his lips zeroing in on a sensitive spot that I didn’t know existed. I moaned his name, my hips involuntarily moving against his, allowing me to feel that he wanted me just as much as I did him. His hand slid underneath my jumper, and when he felt that I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath he groaned as his hand cupped my breast, his thumb moving back and forth across my nipple and creating little zings of electricity that seemed connected to my core somehow.

I moaned his name again and he bought his lips to mine, his tongue moving in that slowly seductive way again, and I swear I felt myself flush with so much warmth and arousal I wouldn’t have been surprised if I caught on fire. I was so lost in the heat that I didn’t notice his other hand sliding underneath my skirt until his fingers pressed against my core, causing my hips to jolt into his hand. I pulled away from the kiss, needing to breathe and unable to concentrate on anything but the pleasure that was travelling through my body. My head fell to his shoulder and his fingers moved quicker against my clit, seeming to find that spot that made me see stars without even trying. My release came over me so suddenly that I bit down on Peter’s shoulder without thinking, concerned that my volume would be too loud without me tampering down my moans somehow.

By the time I came back around, Peter was stroking my hair, while his other hand gripped my waist gently.

‘I can’t feel my legs.’ I spoke into his neck, smiling at the sound of his chuckle.

‘It’s okay honey, I can drive us back.’ He kissed my hair.

‘What about you?’ I frowned, not liking the idea of leaving him in need of release; and I knew he was, I could feel it against my hip.

‘Don’t worry about that, you can make it up to me when you have the energy.’ He said, his voice rife with amusement and a little pride.

‘Okay,’ I murmured, appeased.

We stayed there for a few more minutes, until we were in danger of being late if we waited any longer. He placed me in the passenger seat where I curled into a ball, having not got my energy back yet, and he closed the pizza box and placed it into the foot space I wasn’t currently using. My hand was entwined with his left as he drove us back, and I was on the precipice of consciousness and unconsciousness when he leaned over to kiss my forehead to tell me we had arrived. My eyes fluttered open and I practically jumped into Peter’s arms when he came around to open my door for me. He chuckled, holding me close for a moment before his arm slid around my waist so we could walk into the school. I idly wondered if I’d get away with taking a nap in history as we parted ways at the doors with a kiss.

The next day passed in a blur and before I knew it, we were heading on our camping trip. I’d tossed my school bag onto the back seat, kicked off my ballet flats and pulled my hair from my hair tie to make myself more comfortable for the drive. Peter and I were both positively beaming with excitement, happily singing along to the road trip playlist he’d made for us. It made my heart warm when he’d bashfully announced that he’d done that, he’d gone out of his way to put together a bunch of songs he knew I liked. It was the little things like that, that made me wonder what I’d done right to deserve someone as wonderful as Peter.

When we arrived, Peter and I wasted no time in putting up the tent. Well, Pete told me what to do and followed his instructions as best as I could— I’d never been camping before so putting a tent together was completely fresh territory for me. But he told me I’d done a good job and I kissed him for saying that, even though we both knew it wasn’t true.

‘I love it out here.’ I told him much later, when the sun had set and we could actually see the stars shining above us now we were out of the city.

‘Me too, I forgot just how much.’ He admitted, his arm around my shoulders as I melted into his side.

‘How come you haven’t been back in so long?’

‘Me and my brother used to come out here with my dad, and for the longest time it was another reminder of the fact he was gone.’ He said, his voice taking on the melancholy that usually followed talking about his father.

‘I get that, it was the same for me after my mom died.’ I offered him a sad smile when he met my eye, ‘but eventually I realised, the memories didn’t have to make me sad, they could be a reminder of the happy times we all shared as a family.’

‘You’re so wise for a sixteen year old, Y/N.’ He smiled softly, his hand caressing the side of my face, his smile grew when I leaned into his touch, ‘thank you for sharing that with me, it helps, more than you know.’

‘I love you, Pete.’

His eyes softened completely, ‘I love you too, Y/N.’

The next few days were complete and utter bliss. Spending time with one of my favourite people, just us, no interruptions was incredible. We hiked, swam, danced in the random rainfall, cuddled at night to keep warm, watched the sunrise and set, and lay for hours under the stars talking about anything and everything. Not once did he bring up my earlier expressed desire to lose my virginity during this trip, and I knew it was because he was giving me the room I needed to change my mind, no questions asked. The truth was, I hadn’t changed my mind, but it took me a few days to work up my nerve to broach the subject again. I knew we’d already been intimate to an extent, but it took me some time to assure myself that Peter loved me, and that he wouldn't be disgusted with my naked appearance. It was Sunday night, we’d be getting up early to drive straight to school in the morning, and I finally gathered my nerve.

‘Pete?’ I murmured to him; we’d eaten some dinner an hour ago and we were currently laying in each others arms underneath the stars.

‘Hmm?’

‘Did you bring any protection?’ I felt him stiffen underneath me before he relaxed.

‘I did.’ He confirmed, ‘but if you’ve changed your mind then that’s completely okay.’

‘I know, but I didn’t,’ I leaned up, resting on my elbow to look him in the eye, ‘I just needed a little time to gather my nerve.’

‘You don’t need to be nervous, honey, if you want to do this I’ll take care of you.’ His hazel eyes shone of nothing but sincerity.

‘I want to do this Peter, please.’ I murmured, my fingers gently trailing over the side of his face.

That was how we found ourselves in the zipped up tent, both of us completely naked and Peter kissing his way down my stomach. My hand tangled in his hair as his mouth latched onto my clit, my hips would have buckled into his face if he didn’t have a hand on my waist, securely holding me down. His other hand had moved lower, his finger moving inside of me and curling to find the spot that had taken me months to find without effort. I moaned, completely overwhelmed with the pleasure he was giving me in that moment. His mouth was sucking on the perfect spot, his tongue moving over that bundle of nerves, while he added another finger inside of me, rubbing—fuck—yes right there— I was going to explode, I was sure of it. As the pure unadulterated continued to build I didn’t recognise my own voice as I alternated between moaning, screaming his name and whimpering. Eventually, and yet all too soon, the knot in my stomach came undone as my release overcame me, my vision whitened and when I came around, I was surprised to see that my body was still in one piece.

Pete was hovering over me, his eyes soft and aroused as he observed me. I felt myself flush and his thumb gently followed the redness as it covered my cheeks.

‘You’re so beautiful, Y/N.’ He whispered, his lips capturing mine in a gentle kiss that made my heart melt inside my chest.

He leaned back after a moment, pulling a condom from his wallet and sliding it down his erection. When he noticed me biting my lip, concerned how he was going to fit inside of me, he kissed my forehead reassuringly and lined himself up with my entrance. He pushed in with one slow, smooth movement, once he was fully encased inside me, he stopped, his face turned into the side of my neck. He kissed me there, and I was grateful for the distraction from the pain, it made waiting for it to pass much easier as his lips found that spot behind my ear again.

‘You’re doing amazingly, honey.’ He murmured against my skin, his warm breath making me shiver in the best way.

When the pain subsided I told Peter to move, and he did, starting with soft, shallow thrusts that became deeper and harder as we progressed. When he lifted my right thigh and wound it around his waist, and managed to find a spot that had me seeing stars with every thrust, I was pretty sure I moaned ridiculously loud but I was far too lost in the moment to know for sure. I was lost in him again, his scent, his breath coming fast and heavy against my neck, his lips and the kisses he was placing where he could reach, his hand where he was gripping my leg while the other rested on the ground behind my head to give him balance, his shaft and the way it moved in and out of me as if he was made to fit inside me. I was overwhelmed by him, just as I was every time we became intimate and I found myself hoping, in the back of my aroused mind that was overrun with pleasure, that it would never be any other way.

When I reached my release, Peter wasn’t very far behind me, shouting my name into my neck. Once we were both finished, his arms wrapped around my waist and he flipped us over so I was laying on top of him. His fingers trailed over my bare back and it was honestly so soothing, I found myself falling asleep right there, peacefully in his arms.

‘This is gonna be wild.’ Peter grinned, his hand entwined with mine, while me other was holding the cupcakes I’d made on my lap, along with the pizzas Pete had picked up on his way over.

‘You think?’ I said, amused, ‘we’re digging up a time capsule and eating pizza with cupcakes, i’m not sure that’s the common definition of “wild.”’

He laughed, ‘I know that, Covey. I mean having the old gang meeting up again, seeing my boy, it’s gonna be crazy.’

It was true, the old gang was me, Peter, John Ambrose, Trevor, Chris and Genevieve. We were all meeting up to dig up the time capsule we’d buried underneath the Robertson’s treehouse because the new owners were going to cut it down. If I was honest I was a little nervous about it; Gen and I didn’t get along, so I could only imagine the snide comments we were going to get, and things between John Ambrose and I since we’d been volunteering together at Bellevue had been awkward. He’d gotten the letter I’d sent back to him, and he was constantly asking how things were between Peter and I. Whenever I told him things were great, he’d get a disappointed look on his face before he forced a smile that fooled no one. I’d told Peter about it, but he assured me that if he had any doubts about our relationship then that was his problem, not ours. And he was right.

‘It’s going to be weird having us all together again.’ I agreed, kissing the back of his hand and returning his smile, though mine wasn’t as big, it was still genuine.

John Ambrose was stood at the foot of the tree house, his hands tucked in his jeans as we approached. Peter had insisted on carrying the pizza and the cupcakes so I had my arm wrapped in his back pocket as we walked, slightly amused at the irony of the move.

‘Well, well, well if it isn’t Johnny McClaren!’ Peter grinned.

‘Peter Kavinsky.’ He returned, a little less enthusiastically.

‘Anyone else here yet?’ I asked, hoping to diffuse the sudden tension, and I was grateful to hear Trevor’s booming voice approaching us.

‘Yo! You guys order some za’?’ He clapped his hands twice, ‘yo, I’m so hungry.’ And when he saw John he grinned walking over to him, clasping his hand and slapping him on the back, ‘John! I can’t believe you came it’s been so long!’

‘I know, I’m glad we could all meet up.’ He smiled, looking towards the boxes in Peter’s hands and asking, ‘What kind did you get?’

‘One pepperoni and one cheese.’ Peter answered, turning to smile at me, ‘and Y/N made us some salted caramel cupcakes for afterwards.’

‘Pizza and cupcakes? We should do this every week.’ Trevor cheered, making us all laugh in amusement.

‘So are we’re just waiting on Peter and Gen.’ I mused, hoping my anxiety dissipated soon.

‘I’m here, it was so generous of you to offer me an invitation, Y/N.’ Gen said, her voice snarky.

‘I know.’ I sighed, honestly not in the mood for her snippiness.

Thankfully before she could retort, Chris joined us, shovel in hand and a smile on her face. I tuned the conversation out and offered to go and set up the food while she and the others located the time capsule. Peter came with me, handing me the boxes up through the hatch before joining me inside.

We placed mats in a circle for everyone to sit on, so it would be more comfortable. I ended up sitting in between Peter’s legs, his back leaning on the wall behind him while we waited for everyone else.

‘Is there a lot of tension between people or is it just me?’ I asked, needing to know if I was imagining it.

‘There was some between me and McClaren, and some between us and Gen.’ he confirmed, his hands entwining with mine.

‘I hate it, it makes me nervous.’ I admitted, turning to meet his eyes.

‘I know, but sometimes it can’t be helped. I mean when another guy is clearly into my girlfriend it paves the way for tension.’ He shrugged.

‘It doesn’t have to, Pete. I love you, any feelings I may have had for him fizzled out years ago.’ I assured him.

‘I know,’ he kissed my forehead, ‘jealousy is an irrational feeling but that doesn’t make banishing it any easier.’

I knew what he meant, I still felt jealous of Gen occasionally, but I reminded myself that Peter wanted me, not her and we were happy together. I turned around again, settling back between his legs, my back against his chest and his arms around my waist. That was how the others found us when they ventured up, and other than a disappointed look from John Ambrose and a disgusted one from Gen, no one else batted an eye. We all ate, the others sharing random conversation, but I was content to sit back and observe rather than participate. Pete and John Ambrose didn’t speak directly and when I didn’t respond to the snide comments she was making, Gen settled into conversation with the others. While he was eating, Pete’s hand remained on my waist, his thumb moving back and forth over my hipbone in a comforting gesture that had me melting even further into him.

Once the food was finished, Chris cracked open the time capsule, pulling out a familiar bracelet that she threw in my direction when I said it was mine.

‘It’s a friendship bracelet that Gen made for me, back when we were friends.’ I admitted, tucking it into the pocket of my jeans with a smile— she may have hated me now, but the bracelet had some good memories of our friendship when we were kids.

Trevor pulled out the next object, ‘baseball!’

‘I’m guessing you put that in?’ John Ambrose laughed.

Peter held up a hand, catching it effortlessly, ‘Yeah, that was me. This is when I hit a home run at Claremont Park.’

‘Wait I remember that! You came running off the field and kissed me in front of your mom, do you remember that?’ Gen asked with a smug smile on her face.

Chris and I shared a look, rolling our eyes simultaneously as Peter said, ‘yeah I remember, it was years ago.’

He pocketed the baseball and entwined his hand with mine. I squeezed his hand once to let him know that I wasn’t mad, if anything at this point I felt bad for Gen— to constantly bring up past moments in a relationship with her ex wasn’t healthy and I didn’t know why she was doing it. Surely it couldn’t have been making her feel good? I’d be heartbroken if Pete and I broke up and bringing up our special moments would only make the pain that much more intense.

‘Alright.’ John reached in and pulled out a piece of paper.

‘Ah, that’s mine!’ Trevor reached over taking it and looking it over with a nostalgic eye, ‘Ah, yes, the Linkin Park concert at the Crystal Ballroom.’

‘Linkin Park?’ Chris scoffed, ‘nerd.’

‘What?’ Trevor sounded outraged, ‘Linkin slaps!’

‘Okay...’ Peter held the time capsule so I could reach in and pull out the next thing, which was a cap.

I held it up and Pete handed it to John Ambrose, clearly knowing it was his, ‘Hey, McClaren, remember this? This is when you hopped on the bandwagon, and wore this hat every single day.’

‘Oh my god,’ John shook his head, clearly remembering giving in to the trend.

‘Wait, Y/N didn't you get a Seahawks T-shirt 'cause you were trying to impress John?’ She smiled, but there was nothing sweet about it.

‘If I did, I don’t remember.’ I answered honestly.

‘If you did, that’s really cute.’ John Ambrose smiled, and it wasn’t creepily but I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with the comment anyway.

Peter must have felt it because he lifted the hand he was still holding to his lips and kissed the back of it before our entwined hands settled back on my hip. He reached into the capsule beside us and pulled out an envelope.

‘This says “to the future Chris”’ he handed it to her and we all watched, amused as she pulled out $20 and tucked it into her bra.

‘You okay?’ Pete murmured into my ear, his head resting on my shoulder.

‘I am,’ I smiled, turning to kiss his cheek and settling even further into his arms.

‘Okay, you’re next.’ Chris said, gesturing to Gen.

‘Um well it’s empty.’ She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she were accusing us for being at fault for it.

‘That’s impossible.’ Chris scoffed, ‘you put something in there. We all did.’

Gen rolled her eyes, ‘well I don’t know what to tell you, because there’s nothing in there.’

I sighed, glancing down to the pizza box beside us and noting the last slice, ‘does anyone want the last slice?’

Peter’s hand swooped in and took it and I shook my head in amusement when he offered me a bite before he ate it.

‘Well I never thought I’d see the day— Kavinsky sharing his food, must be true love.’ Trevor teased, ducking to avoid Chris shoving him.

‘Must be.’ Pete agreed, barely loud enough for me to hear. We shared a soft look and he kissed my forehead and finished his slice of pizza.

As I sat there in the arms of the boy I loved, I couldn’t help but once again thank whatever God, whatever deity had blessed me with Peter Kavinsky. Because I honestly didn’t know what I would do without him in my life; he made me whole in a way I didn’t realise I needed before we dated. I’d forever be grateful for him, and I’d never take our relationship for granted, because this was the kind of love they wrote movies about. I was sure of it.

A/N: I’ve had this one gaining traction in my documents for a few weeks. I started writing it a few weeks ago after I watched the sequel to To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before on Netflix, and I only got a thousand words in before I lost motivation for it. I recently picked it back up a few days ago and here we are 9,000+ words later! I hope ya’ll liked it, I’ve added some smut in for the first time in forever, forgive me if it sucks, I’m a bit rusty!

#peter kavinsky x reader #peter kavinsky x you #peter kavinsky #to all the boys 2 #to all the boys ive loved before movie

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