#i wish it were on a network if only so it could get a 20 episode order

[platypusnoise]

I loved WEDNESDAY

It should have been at least 15 episodes

Xavier is a bad version of what his character was supposed to be because there was literally zero real estate to develop the dynamic between him and Wednesday beyond his immediate obsession with her and her obvious lack of interest. The worst parts of the narrative throughout the season were the pieces of conflict that relied solely on the audience’s investment in the potential for romantic developments between him and Wednesday, none of which felt genuine to the story. I’ll give the actor credit though -- he did a good job! If Tyler is Angel, which he clearly is supposed to be (and, admittedly, while I support a happy Buffy above all else I am an unfortunate Bangel shipper), then Xavier is Spike. But Spike and Angel and Buffy were never in a Jacob and Bella and Edward style love triangle. I hope season two forgoes the  contrite Dawson/Joey/Pacey thing and focuses more on the characters and their organic development.

Plus, Wednesday’s main love arc had nothing to do with romance. It was the love between her and Enid!

[adamsmasher]

Okay it's after 1am and I've had a lot of wine so obviously it's time for a late night wall-of-text post, but this time it's less likely to piss off your weird uncle or whatever because once again, I gotta talk about the best $4.99 a month I've ever spent.

Please, if you haven't yet, I'm begging you to look into all of the incredible content available on the Dropout.tv streaming service (formerly known as College Humor) . Not only did Whose Line Is It Anyway's Wayne Brady say that the Dropout crew are the only ones doing improv comedy on the same level as Whose Line, but they were also one of the only studios/streaming services allowed to work during the writers' strike because their contracts went above and beyond industry standards. (And, from my own observations, Dropout LOVES hiring queer, trans/nonbinary, and BIPOC performers + crew. Obviously I don't know much about the industry, but they seem like one of the most inclusive companies in Hollywood.)

"Alex, thanks for the recommendation! What shows do they have that you think I'll like?" Oh, you're asking me to gush about my favorite tv shows? Don't mind if I do!!!

Are you D&D curious, but took one look at actual play shows like Critical Role and thought "6 hours an episode? and there's like 750 episodes or whatever? oh baby not my adhd ass..." Don't worry, me too (sorry CR I love you I promise). But Dropout has a show called "Dimension 20" where comedians play Dungeons and Dragons with emotional, immersive storytelling, gut-busting laughs, and spectacular set design that makes you forget it's a fully improvised series controlled by the roll of the dice. They even did a miniseries perfect for D&D beginners called "Dungeons and Drag Queens" where absolute novices and Drag Race royalty Jujubee, Monet X Change, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Bob the Drag Queen embark on an adventure full of mystery, intrigue, and stupidity. I mean, Alaska plays a muscle-bound, axe-wielding, caveman-grunting Orc named Princess, what more could you want? Plus, the primary game master Brennan Lee Mulligan is so easy on the eyes. Oh, you're not into dorky ginger dudes? How about Aabria Iyengar, a 6 foot tall goddess who's equally as nerdy as Brennan but loves basketball. that's right, if nothing else, there's eye candy for every person in every season.

"Oh, why aren't there any good game shows on TV?" you wonder, wishing that the Game Show Network could come up with something that isn't a lame remake of a free-to-play phone game. Well how about Game Changer, "the only game show where the game changes every show (except for [...] Game of Games, Taskmaster, and a few others that have come to light AFTER [Game Changer first aired]. That's right, [the] players have no idea what game it is they're about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning." And yes, I did sit there and watch the beginning of an episode to make sure I was accurately quoting Game Changer host (and Dropout CEO) Sam Reich's description of his flaghship game show that has THREE separate spin-offs. (for context, he only mentions the other shows that copied his in the one episode I pulled up to get an accurate quote. could you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if he said that every episode? hah!)

Are you more of a traditional Whose Line fan? Look no further than Game Changer spin-off Make Some Noise, where contestants act out "improvisational prompts that [they have] never seen before, isn't that right contestants?" ("We won't know if we've seen them before or not until we see them!" Brennan insists every time he's on...)

You like musicals but wish they were less... ya know, scripted? Check out "Play It By Ear", a fully improvised musical! (you may be familiar with its primary cast members Jess McKenna and Zach Reino from the podcast that inspired it all, "Off Book: the Improvised Musical Podcast with Zach and Jess")

Or maybe you're more into trivia, cuz you're a total nerd like me (and every single performer that's ever appeared on dropout.tv). How about "Umm, Actually" where contestants are given an incorrect statement and have to buzz in to correct it - but you have to say "Umm, Actually" first!

Straight up, you can't go wrong on Dropout. Please, check it out. They're nearly doubling the amount of original shows they have in 2024, and no other streaming service is doing it like them. If I haven't convinced you yet, get the 7 day trial and give em a chance. There's no referral code I can give you that gives me some sort of kickback or whatever, I genuinely wrote what looks like a thousand word essay about Dropout at 1am just because I love them so much.

[mousy-nona]

Two's Company (Three's a Crowd)

Vox cuts into Alastor's radio broadcast, and quickly figures out why that was a Very Bad Idea.

//

Or, Vox finds out about Alastor and Lucifer. Jealousy ensues.

(Set between chapters 4 and 5 of All of God's Angels)

Lucifer had a radio. He dusted it off and turned it on some nights, when they were playing the oldies, or when he wanted to catch up on current events, or…

Or when a certain strawberry pimp was on air. 

(If he was being honest, he hadn’t missed a single episode since the day they’d met.) 

The demon’s voice was like liquid honey, dripping with dark things and speckled with odd ‘20s slang. It quickly became a habit: turn on the radio, pull up a few of his latest blueprints, and get to work. Some of Alastor’s more… creative suggestions even gave him a few ideas for new horror-themed rides for Lu Lu World. 

My muse, he thought, snorting to himself when no one was around.. 

That particular night, he was humming away, listening to Alastor prattle on about why the Pride ring was categorically better than Gluttony ( more interesting victims, for one! ) when there was an audible screech. The signal wavered, replaced by the obnoxious blaring intro of a news show.

He recognized that sound at once. Everyone in Pentagram City did. It was the breaking news soundtrack for 666 News.

But what was it doing here, on Alastor’s radio? 

He leaned in, new rubber duck design completely forgotten, as he and the rest of Hell waited with baited breath. 

“Gooood evening Pentagram City!” A voice – a man’s, with a chipper American accent by the sound of it – filtered through the speaker. Lucifer cursed to himself. He really needed to pay attention to the politics of Hell. He had no idea who this was. B something? The demon continued, sounding immensely pleased with himself. “We interrupt this not-so-important broadcast with breaking news: why are you listening to this washed up has-been when you could be watching 666 News on the V Network? Get with the times, you—”

The radio whined, letting out an audible protest as the signal was hijacked again – and by the sound of it, far more violently this time. 

The momentary crackle of static, then – “Apologies about the momentary interruption, folks!” Alastor’s cheery voice cut in. But underneath that ‘20s charm, Lucifer could hear a hardness that hadn’t been there before. “A mere technical error, nothing to worry about. I promise you, those responsible will be appropriately punished.” 

The last word practically crawled of the penumbra, of shadows, of Bad Things. Lucifer shivered, finding himself half-wishing he was the one Alastor was talking about. He caught himself with a frown. What the Hell was he thinking?

“Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!” 

The next morning, Lucifer came downstairs to find the entire hotel gathered around a shiny red box. 

“What do you think it could be?” Angel Dust asked. 

Husk shrugged, looking, as always, utterly unimpressed by the whole situation. 

Niffty was flitting around it so fast she was nothing but a blur, panting excitedly the entire time. “Don’t smell bugs,” she muttered, almost as if she was disappointed by the fact. 

“Only one way to find out. Let’s open it!” Charlie bounded forward, one hand outstretched. Both he and Vaggie leapt to stop her at the same time, but Vaggie got there first. She grabbed his daughter’s hand and twirled her away from the mysterious-box-potential-bomb-thing, popping a little kiss onto her nose to distract her when she tried to lunge for it again.

Yeeuch . Good for Charlie, but he was never going to get used to that. 

“What’s up, b–” He almost said bitches , but managed to catch himself at the last minute. “ Boys ?”

Better. Much better.

The “boys” glanced at each other, clearly confused. Vaggie let go of Charlie so fast she almost spun her around like a top. 

Charlie recovered quickly and pointed at the thing they were staring at. “Dad! This got delivered to the hotel this morning. Vaggie thinks someone wants to blow us up!” She said, as if she was announcing someone had sent them a birthday cake. 

Vaggie sighed. “Might, Charlie. I said someone might want to blow us up.” 

“Right! That!” 

“No worries!” Lucifer puffed up his chest, feeling a rush of pride. He was helping his daughter! He could feel their bond growing stronger already! “ I’ll open it!”

“Careful, Dad!” Charlie gasped. Vaggie pulled her backwards, shielding her with her own body. Husk surreptitiously stepped in front of Angel Dust. Niffty stayed exactly where she was – right next to the box – but Angel Dust swooped in and lifted her out of harm’s way. Lucifer waited a beat, wondering if Alastor was going to show up and swoop him out of the way. 

No such luck. He sighed, wondering if he’d gone temporarily insane to even hope for such a thing. Alastor would probably push him into the box if he was here. 

Holding his breath, he quickly clawed at the cardboard seams. The box fell open, revealing…

Angel Dust wrinkled his nose. “Is that…an old TV?” 

“It is,” Husk grumbled, recognition flaring in his yellow eyes.

The hazy gray screen was surrounded on all sides by wood paneling. There were two dials on it, one labeled UHF and the other labeled VHF. Attached to the front was a single note, written in huge, spiky letters: Remember the good times? 

He felt Alastor before he saw him. A mass of shadows bubbled in the corner and burst, revealing the tall, graceful demon in his erstwhile pinstripe suit.

Lucifer puffed up. “Convenient of you to come when the danger’s over, huh? Looks like I saved the day this time –” 

Alastor swept past him as if he was air. All his attention was focused on that damned TV. Lucifer’s voice faltered, sputtering like a flame before it finally went out. 

“Alastor, your buddy sent you a gift,” Husk muttered. 

“So it seems,” Alastor said, cold and cruel. He grabbed the note from the screen, his nose wrinkling as he read it. Then his grin turned sharp. 

Faster than anyone could blink, Alastor skewered the TV in half with his staff. The wood protested, groaning as it fell apart, revealing the black glistening gears inside. Acrid smoke started flowing, and Alastor was soon submerged in an eye-watering cloud, his wicked chuckles reverbrating through the entire hotel. 

“Looks like someone is desparate for my personal attention.” 

Lucifer bristled. Someone? Who? Someone other than him? He opened his mouth, but when the smoke cleared, Alastor was gone. 

Husk tutted and walked back to the bar, mumbling about show offs and annoying dandy-ass motherfuckers. Lucifer followed close behind, practically shoving Angel Dust out of the way. 

“Do you know who sent that TV?”

Husk turned around, so slowly it was like he was moving through molasses. “Yeah, of course. Who doesn’t?” 

I don’t, you smug little house cat. Through a great effort of will, Lucifer managed to stop himself from showing Husk exactly what his new line of rubber ducks could do. “Mind enlightening me?” 

“It came from Big Daddy V,” Angel Dust slid into the seat next to him, fluttering his lashes. Lucifer stared at him. “You know, the head honcho?” Still no reaction. “Vox?”

“Is he the guy with the television for a head?” Lucifer asked. 

“Duh,” Angel Dust said at the same time Husk said, “Who else?” 

“I think he was the one who interrupted Alastor’s radio show last night too. What’s his deal with Alastor anyway?” Lucifer was not annoyed. He was not irritated at how easily he’d been cast aside. He was definitely not upset about how Alastor had disappeared after promising to give Vox his personal attention . 

“He’s obsessed with him.” 

And Lucifer was not tempted at all to rip this Vox’s throat out and leave him to die a very slow, very painful death. “Alastor is?” He hissed.

His chest twisted, throbbing with a pain he couldn’t quite put a finger on. He held his hand over his heart, marveling at the way it pounded as hard as if he’d just fought a grueling battle with the angels. 

“No, Vox is. They’ve had a rivalry going for decades now.” Husk looked at him strangely. “You really don’t know about any of this? Aren’t you the king of Hell or something?” 

Decades. They had decades of history together. Vox would always own a piece of Alastor that Lucifer would never get to know. An irrational anger rose deep from his gut. He knew it made no sense, but it was almost unbearable to think that there was someone out there who may have a claim over Alastor that he didn’t.

And maybe he was a demon just like the rest of them, because a selfish rage rattled in his chest: Alastor was his.

Too late, he realized the silence had stretched on a touch too long. Now both Angel Dust and Husk were staring at him. Angel Dust’s knowing smile in particular was quite unsettling. Quickly, he excused himself and ran back up to this room, where he could not think about Alastor in peace and quiet, thank you very much. But as soon as he opened the door, a piece of paper fluttered to the floor. 

Meet me at Rosie’s. 

The note was written in Alastor’s beautiful, old-school cursive.

“That tacky little good-for-nothing,” Lucifer grumbled. “He thinks he can order me around?” 

He crumpled up the note in his fist. He would go meet him – but only to teach the cocky asshole a lesson. 

Right. That was the only reason why. 

(He’d always been a bad liar.) 

“There you are! I was beginning to think you’d gotten lost on the way.” 

Alastor’s wide grin was the first thing that greeted him when he stepped out of the portal. He resisted the urge to smack him in the nose, because he knew how to be the bigger man. Figuratively, of course. 

“Why did you want me to meet you here?” 

“Why do I ever want to meet you anywhere?” 

Lucifer paused, running through some numbers in his head. “But it’s not the first of the month yet.”

Alastor grinned and pressed in close. His bowtie, usually so neat and buttoned up, was askew. His shirt gaped open the tiniest bit, revealing a hint of mouthwatering collarbone and the barest glimpse at the strong chest underneath. Lucifer felt his cheeks heat. “What’s a little extra healing between friends?” Alastor murmured into his ear.

“We aren’t…we aren’t friends,” Lucifer protested, stumbling only once. “Besides, we’re outside. Anyone can see us.”

“Rosie won’t mind,” Alastor smiled. “What’s hers is mine, and so on and so forth.” He crooked one finger into his tie and pulled, loosening it further. “And the Cannibals know to mind their own business.”

The rough brick of Rosie’s storefront was digging into Lucifer’s back. He winced, a surge of annoyance running through him when he realized that Alastor was pushing him around again . Alastor always did whatever he wanted. He would play with him at home, teasing him relentlessly, making his life Hell, but then he’d run off and play rivals with some other bastard the moment Lucifer took his eyes off of him. 

What kind of heartless, two-timing devil would do that?

Suddenly filled with a burning rage he still didn’t quite understand, Lucifer flipped around so he  was the one pressing Alastor against the wall. Strangely, the demon didn’t fight him. He watched through heavy lids as Lucifer pushed forward until their bodies were flush against each other. Lucifer could feel every one of Alastor’s hard muscles through the layers of clothing between them. The air crackled with anticipation as they stared at each other, the seconds dragging on as time slowed. 

Lucifer licked his lips. Alastor’s gaze dipped down to follow the movement of his tongue. His smile turned lazy, slow – honey dripping on a hot day. He reached up, undid the first button of his shirt, and pulled the collar away from his neck so Lucifer had a better view of the graceful curve of his shoulder and the firm sculpture of his chest. He swallowed, hard. 

“You won’t keep a loyal subject waiting, will you, your Highness?” Alastor asked, his radio static like a live wire against Lucifer’s skin.

Lucifer grabbed his lapels and leaned in close, not sure if he was going in for a kiss or to tear Alastor’s head off. 

“What the hell are you two doing?” 

The first thing Lucifer noticed was a man with a TV screen for a head glitching out in the street behind them. The second thing he noticed was Alastor’s smile – huge, toothy, and so very pleased that Lucifer realized, a second too late, that he’d walked into one of Alastor’s traps again . 

Alastor straightened up and re-tied his bow to cover up all his delicious, bare skin. Even though Lucifer knew he’d been played for a fool, he still felt a pang when he saw it disappear. 

“Are you two–” Vox couldn’t finish the sentence. His screen stuttered, turning rainbow, then flipping to a test screen, before finally settling on the Blue Screen of Death. FUCK YOU ALASTOR.EXE was scrawled all over it. 

“Actually –” Lucifer started, but Alastor cut in, slinging his arm casually over his shoulder as if they did that kind of thing every day. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Alastor grinned, his red eyes gleaming bright with glee. “Maybe we are. Maybe we’re just very good friends .” 

Vox’s face flashed back on screen, his mouth open so wide it looked almost like a glitch in the matrix. “You – I thought you didn’t…?” 

“Didn’t what, my good man? You must start finishing your sentences. How is anyone supposed to have a decent conversation with you if you don’t? But I suppose that silly moth man you keep around might not mind. He doesn’t seem very bright, does he?” 

“Leave Valentino out of this!” Vox roared. 

“Or what?” Alastor sneered over Lucifer’s shoulder. He was still hanging off of him like he owned him. As much as Lucifer hated it…it wasn’t a terrible feeling. “Or you’ll sing a silly little song about me again? Hack into my radio signal? Is that really all you can do – cause me a few technical problems?” 

Vox wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. His eyes were glued to the two of them, taking in the casual way Alastor was touching Lucifer, at the button Alastor had accidentally-on-purpose forgotten to re-button, and the hand Lucifer still had curled around Alastor’s lapel. 

“But you don’t –” he tried again. “I asked you! You said no!” 

“It looks like I found a better offer,” Alastor said. He looked positively demonic as he delivered the blow, his eyes glittering with euphoric glee as he watched Vox sink down from disbelief into a black cloud of depression. As much as Vox annoyed him, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the man.

But that didn’t stop him from doing what he did next. 

Lucifer looped his hand around Alastor’s neck and pulled him down so they were face to face. Before Alastor could react, he pressed his mouth to his. 

Alastor’s lips were cold. They were as icy and hard as the man himself, but his taste…he was like spice and smoke, like cinnamon and poison and the woods in the summer. He tasted better than all of Heaven and the Earth, and for the first time Lucifer understood why humans got addicted to their silly little drugs. If it felt anything close to this…

Alastor broke the kiss first, his eyes hooded and unreadable as he pulled back. He licked gold from his teeth, and Lucifer realized with a start that he was bleeding. Alastor brought his fingers to his lips and licked the dripping gold off of them slowly, his eyes never once leaving Lucifer’s. 

It was the single most erotic thing he’d ever seen. He felt dizzy, drunk with desire in a way he’d never once felt with Lilith.

“Assholes!” Vox’s sudden exclamation brought them both back to reality. “Don’t eye-fuck each other while I’m still here!”

Snarling, Lucifer whirled around. “Do you mind? We were in the middle of something here.” 

Vox cringed backwards, his hands flying protectively over his face. For a brief second, he looked terrified . Lucifer looked at him strangely, wondering what his reaction was all about, when he saw red horns out of the corner of his eye. 

He’d transformed? 

He glanced at Alastor, who was staring at him with an expression he’d never seen before. If he had to describe it, he would say Alastor looked…proud. 

Alastor pulled Lucifer to his side, so smug it practically rolled off of him in noxious waves. “You heard the man. Or rather, shall I say the king?” Canned laughter roared through the street. Vox flinched at the not-so-subtle reminder of exactly who he was dealing with. “It’s been fun catching up, but we must be off. Lots to do, lots to see!”

Waving merrily at the glitched-out TV, Alastor pushed open the door to Rosie’s shop and ushered Lucifer inside. The second the door closed, Lucifer whirled around, glaring at a wholly unrepentant Alastor.

“You planned that.”

Alastor grinned. “Of course I did.”

“You used me.”

He raised his brow. “My dear, I am a demon . Surely you can’t be too surprised I dabble in deception?” His expression darkened. “That fool interrupted my show. That kind of behavior must be punished. Besides, I daresay you used me a little bit yourself.” 

Lucifer’s cheeks reddened and his mouth watered at the thought of that kiss. That magical, wonderful, positively wicked kiss. 

“Ah, ah!” Alastor wagged his finger at him, as if he was a naughty child and not a fallen angel powerful enough to blast him halfway back to Earth. “There will be no more of that today. You’ve got your payment.”

Lucifer sighed. For a man who hated physical contact, he sure could be a massive tease. He was even worse than Angel Dust. “What was Vox talking about? What did he ask you?” What did you say no to?

“He asked me to join his team. A waste of breath, if you ask me. As if I’d ever stoop so low.”

“Just his team? As in, business partners?”

“Why? Does it bother you, your Majesty?” Alastor teased.

Lucifer thought about the despair on Vox’s face as he took in the possessive way Alastor had grabbed his shoulders. The betrayal in his voice as he’d stuttered but you don’t–! The hurt as he slumped to the ground, the electronic nodes of his brain scrambling to understand that Alastor might be capable of wanting more – and that he just hadn’t wanted Vox . 

Would Alastor do that to him one day? Would he leave him half-broken on the ground as he pranced off with his new rival of the month? 

Lucifer turned away, unable to keep looking at him. “No. It doesn’t bother me at all.” 

Alastor hummed, sing-song. “I appreciate your help in this rather annoying matter. I must say, it’s not so bad having a partner after all.” 

Lucifer stiffened, hardly daring to breathe. “We’re partners?”

"Who knows?" Alastor shrugged. "I do so dislike labels. But this is the first time the idea hasn't made me want to vomit. And the look on Vox's face when he saw you..." His laugh was dark and more than a little insane. He wiped a few gleeful tears from his eyes. "I could get used to that."

Lucifer chuckled along, the possessive beast within him satisfied. For now. "I'm a better offer, huh?"

When Alastor looked at him, the odd expression on his face took his breath away. He took Lucifer's hand and kissed it, his sharp teeth grazing the thin skin there. "Certainly the tastiest I've had in quite some time."

Lucifer's heart thudded so loud in his ears it was all he could hear.

"You have any other rivals you want to piss off?"

[cinderella-ish]

(heads up, this post mentions death and suicide)

I started writing Bloom Within Us about 8 or 9 months ago, almost a year after losing a grandparent, as one way to deal with my grief from that loss. I hadn't written any fiction at all since high school, and I'd never written a story of more than ten pages (double-spaced), so it was very much a surprise to me that, despite being only about 2/3 complete, Bloom Within Us sits at over 220k words and nearly 600 pages. Writing it has led me down a rabbit hole, learning about the craft of fiction writing, and I'm so touched to hear it's resonated with readers. When I started, I truly thought I'd be lucky to get even one reader.

Though Bloom Within Us is based on a tragic premise (what if Tohru died after falling from the cliff?), it's meant to be a hopeful story. Kyo has faced traumatic loss after traumatic loss; would he really be able to survive losing Tohru after he told her about her mother?

I think the answer is maybe. He'd be devastated, for sure, and I don't think he'd be okay for a long while. However, even though it would be incredibly painful, this would be the first time in his life where he'd be mourning as part of a community. He'd have people there to support him, to grieve alongside him, and to tell him it's not his fault.

Kazuma was all but a stranger when Kyo's mother died, and he never knew what caused Kyo to lose all hope when Kyoko died. Kyo had no one who really understood, though Kazuma certainly tried, and probably saved Kyo's life in both instances.

But I imagine, if Kyo were able to mourn Tohru properly, alongside his cousins and friends and adoptive father, he might be okay one day. Maybe there's a way (or multiple ways) things could align that would allow him to move forward, and that's the path I've tried to take in my story.

In a lot of ways, writing about dark or tragic subjects is my way of trying to find (or create) hope. Things can feel unbearable, but they won't always feel that way. And while they do, you don't have to feel that way by yourself. There's always someone who can understand at least some of what you're experiencing.

For Kyo, whose arc really revolved around him choosing to live (both figuratively and literally), I think it would be really powerful to see that even after losing Tohru, he could one day be okay, and maybe even have a life he loves.

So, in many ways, I hope Bloom Within Us comes across as having an anti-su*cide message. That is my intent, along with the other ideas I'm trying to explore, such as the universal nature of loss, or the importance of having community during challenging times.

When I learned that a younger cousin of mine ended their life this weekend, it brought up a lot of feelings. I wasn't particularly close with this cousin. I wasn't "not close," either; they just tended to keep a distance, and I was anxious that I'd come on too strong, so I let them remain at a distance.

Hearing now about the things that felt insurmountable to my cousin, I wish we'd been able to connect. They'd felt insurmountable to me, too, at that age, but I made it through to the other side. And I know so many people who went through a crisis in their late 20s only to emerge from that crisis with a better understanding of themselves, and a life they actually want. Life can and does get better, for so many of us. I think it would've gotten better for my cousin, too, if they were still here. I wish they'd been able to hang on at least until they could see that, too.

I don't know yet if I'll need a break from writing, especially writing a story that deals with grief and suicide. I don't know if I'll need a break from fandom or social media. Right now, I've been going about everything more or less as usual, and that's been working for me, but that could change. I am okay, and I know I'll be okay, even though I'll be sad for a while. I have a good support network and I'm in a good place despite everything. If I disappear for a bit, it's because I'm relying on my IRL support network. ❤️

[dannyphantomarchive]

Early production deep-dive - Part 5: The first theme opening

Some of the newer phans might not know this yet, but the theme opening used on the show was actually the second version written and produced!

The first theme opening had Guy Moon’s vocals, who was the composer of the show, and had to be scrapped and rewritten because the channel wanted to include more of Danny’s story in the intro. The song that inspired the style of this first version was called, believe it or not, ‘The Invisible Man’ by Queen.

“Butch Hartman: Bob Boyle and I were in Korea in July of 2000. [...] Well, I thought I'd heard every Queen song there was up to that point (I'm a huge fan) but on comes this song called "The Invisible Man". It's a great song and it's all about, yes, a man who is invisible. The lyrics were cool, but the coolest part of the song was the awesome bass line right at the top. I wish I could sing it for you now, but, hey, computers aren't THAT great yet. Long story short, I listened to the song over and over, just really digging on the bass line. And the more I listened the more I thought, "Man, I'd love to use this song as a theme song for a show someday'. Seriously, that's what I thought. Anyway, about 18 months goes by, I pitch "Phantom", it gets going and now we need a theme. I wrote a bunch of lyrics and gave them to Guy Moon then I played him that awesome bass line. I said" I don't care what music you use, just give me a bass line like this". So he did. It's definitely not an exact replica of course, but it's most definitely the same flavor. And my lyrics? Well as many of you know there was another theme for Danny that was written before the current one. This one was a lot more vague about who Danny was and didn't really explain his origin. I thought it was awesome, but the Network wanted me to explain Danny's origin in the title so I had to go and rewrite. And that's how we ended up with the current theme.” (Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20080102092951/http://hometown.aol.com/zcat6/IntBH2006p8.html)

This version of the theme song was shared with the public in late July of 2003, during a Nickelodeon panel at the 2003 San Diego Comic Con. The schedule section for the 2003 Con shows which of the crew members went there along with Butch.

“July 20, 2003 K 1:30–3:00 Nickelodeon Presents: Teenage Robot and Fairly Oddparents— Find out what’s coming down the Nicktoons pipeline in a panel discussion with members of the Nickelodeon creative teams. First, get a sneak peak at episodes of Nick’s new show Teenage Robot, about a super-powered robot with a super-sensitive teenage heart, who was built to protect the planet but just wants to be a normal teenager, premiering on August 1st. Panelists include Alex Kirwan (art director) and Rob Renzetti (creator). Then join the Fairly OddParents gang and catch a clip from their first TV movie Abra Catastrophe, plus a sneak peak at two new shows coming from FOP creator Butch Hartman, Danny Phantom and Crash Nebula. Panelists include Butch Hartman (creator/executive producer of FOP, Danny Phantom and Crash Nebula), Steve Marmel (producer/story editor for FOP/Danny Phantom, creator/co-executive producer for Crash Nebula) and Bob Boyle (producer/art director for FOP and Danny Phantom). Each screening will be followed by a question-and-answer session. Room 6B” (Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20040603152428/http://www.comic-con.org/Pages/CCI03-SunProg.html)

As was customary in forums, the details on these events were shared by people who attended, like this LiveJournal user who mentioned the theme opening being played at the panel.

“Final News Update from ComicCon (Sunday) Ok, this is the last bit from ComicCon so enjoy it: [...] *Teenage Robot/Fairly Oddparents - 2 episodes of My Life as a Teenage Robot screened - Danny Phantom theme opening and Crash Nebula trailer screened - Crash Nebula is only a pilot for now, but uses a lot of celshading - another Fairly Oddparents TV movie is in the works where Timmy travels through television *2 PPG episode titles: Nuthin' Special, and Neighbor Hood Later” (Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20230821183005/https://adultswimfans.livejournal.com/7531.html)

Here’s the audio for the first theme opening of the show:

(Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20030716013439/http://butchhartman.com/html/danny.htm)

[Video Description - Screenshot of the site, the words ‘Butch Hartman’ are displayed in white on the top left, with seven circles with different images underneath, that each lead to a new section of the site. There’s a drawing of himself on the top right corner and the background of the whole site is a light green. The current section’s title ‘Danny Phantom’ is displayed in white colors, with the text ‘Coming Soon!‘ underneath. There’s an illustration of Danny on the left. The first Danny Phantom theme opening plays in the background. /end ID]

-Lyrics: 

(He’s a phantom) (Danny Phantom) (Danny Phantom) A key to his life has changed Molecules rearranged Ghosts are so deranged (He’s gonna catch them all ‘cause he is Danny Phantom) Spirits don’t stand a chance Senses all enhanced Powers so advanced (He’s a Phantom) (He’s gonna catch them all ‘cause he is Danny Phantom) Unleashing all the freaks Onto his hometown streets Now everyone he beats (He’s a Phantom) (He’s a Phantom) Gonna fly through the wall You can’t see him at all If they are big or small or tall He’s gonna catch them all ‘cause he is Danny Phantom Gonna catch them all ‘cause he is Danny Phantom Gonna catch them all ‘cause he is Danny Phantom

On another note, we wish all the phans who will participate in it a very chaotic Dannypocalypse tomorrow! 

We will also be posting a very rare and special content here later on that day, so be sure to come check it out amidst all the Dannos! 👻💚👻

First - Previous - Next 

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 1…part 10…part 20…part 30…part 40…part 50

The boys sat in the dance studio anxiously.

“I wanna go home.” Jesse said as he jerked his knee.

“Calm down, Jes.” Robaire placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure whatever Beckett told Mr. Freeman, he’ll be smart enough to let it slide. I mean, we debut in less than two weeks.”

“Honestly I don’t even care right now.” Jesse started getting tense. “It’s Selina’s first day home with Marcel. I kinda want to be there.”

“Awww, it’ll be alright.” Taeyoung hugged Jesse from behind.

“At least we’re hoping it’ll be alright.” Z sighed. “I wish I could listen to music right now to calm me down.”

Everyone looked at T, who was sitting cross legged on the floor with Z’s headphones to distract him from the anxiety.

“Trust me, it’s better this way.” Taeyoung assured him.

The sound of high-heels against the floor got louder and louder as they approached.

“Do you guys hear that?” Robaire turned towards the door.

Z nudged T and he removed the headphones as they all stared at the door.

“Good morning, boys.” Courtney walked in with a cheerful smile and a clipboard.

“Courtney?” Jesse looked her up and down. “What are you doing here? I thought we were about to get chewed out.”

“Actually, Mr. Freeman had more to say to Beckett than to you guys.” Courtney explained. “As it turns out, attempting to fire even one of you this close to your album’s release is not a good look for the company.”

“BOOM! I told y’all!” Robaire shouted.

Z stared at him. “Dude, not right now.”

Courtney cleared her throat. “Mr. Freeman actually wanted me to let you know he was impressed with how you stuck together, and he offered congratulations to Jesse on the new baby.”

“Does this mean I can go home?” Jesse asked excitedly.

“Not exactly.” Courtney said, earning a groan from Jesse. “Since Mr. Freeman made Beckett take some paid time-off, I’ll be taking over as your manager, and we’re gonna be making some changes.”

“Changes like we’re gonna have pizza for lunch everyday?” T asked.

Courtney paused.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just hungry.” Z rolled his eyes.

“For starters, I’m drastically cutting your hours.” Courtney said as she marked a few things on her clipboard. “You’ve rehearsed the songs and the dances a million times by now and you’re self-disciplined enough to practice on your own.” She handed them each a piece of paper. “This will be your new schedule up until the 14th.”

“Hang on.” Taeyoung scanned the paper. “This says we’re only supposed to come in twice a week.”

Courtney shrugged and nodded. “Twice a week on record, just so you can prep for all the shows you’ll be on. But you’ve been working hard for months, you deserve to relax a little.”

T hugged the schedule. “I love it here.”

“So what’s on the schedule for today? And more importantly how fast can we get it over with?” Jesse asked.

“Chill out, lover boy, you’ll be with your girlfriend soon.” Robaire teased.

“Post debut, you’re scheduled to perform on a nighttime talk show. We’re heading over there now to do our first run through.” Courtney answered.

“Wow, we’re already booked for talk shows?” Z marveled at the thought.

“Please, haven’t you seen the buses and billboards?” Taeyoung smirked. “Aaron and I have to take a taxi home to avoid getting recognized.”

“Well, that and your mom doesn’t want us taking the bus in this weather.” T shrugged. “Mostly the latter cuz I have no idea who you are when you put a hat on either.”

“That won’t last long, trust me.” Courtney chuckled a bit. “Remember, this is Fortune Records. You guys are practically already a hit.” She paused. “I must warn you though, the CEO of the network booked this as a favor to Mr. Freeman. He doesn’t really believe in this whole boy band mania. Freeman is kind of hoping you guys can prove him wrong at this rehearsal so it’ll be easier to land more gigs without owing him constant favors.”

“And by “kind of hoping” I’m assuming he doesn’t mean it as a suggestion.” Robaire raised an eyebrow.

“You catch on quick.” Courtney grinned. “Now we should seriously get going, tardiness won’t impress him.” She turned to lead the boys to the bus. “C’mon, boys. Let’s go show him what 4☆TOWN is made of.”

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, July 28

Did you know that if you can't 100% commit to making a newsletter post the same day every week, you can swap to a different day as needed or even skip a week? Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Dawn's Vacay by apachefirecat (Dawn, Spike, PG/K+)

Dead by apachefirecat (Spike/Buffy, Dawn, PG/K+)

Impressed by apachefirecat (Spike/Buffy, R/M)

An Amble Through the Zoo With You by cornerofmadness (Giles/Jenny, teen)

Moving On Up by apachefirecat (Giles, with many mentions of other characters and pairings, PG/K+)

Camazotz ("Stands So Far" Series) by madimpossibledreamer (Giles POV, not rated)

The Magic Of Motherhood by JamesTheIceQueen (Tara/Willow/Faith, M)

give them all that they can drink by eagle_eyes (Angel/Cordelia, T)

put on a brave face by bodytoflame (Tara, Willow, G)

Eight Terrible Dates (And One Happily Ever After) by Holly (Buffy/Spike, collection rated NC-17)

Monsters in the Dark by Holly (Buffy/Spike, collection rated NC-17)

A Mighty Woman with a Torch by fortes775 (Doctor Who crossover, Buffy/Spike, R)

Retirement by fortes775 (Buffy/Spike, R)

Video Games by eternallyec (Buffy/Spike, Xander & Spike, collection rated R)

Surprise Party by EllieRose101 (Buffy/Spike, PG)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Twice Broken, Thrice Burnt - Chapter 1 by TheClowniestLivInExistence (Buffy/Spike, E)

Encased by Sunshine, Ch. 20 by acb6293 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Through the Years, Ch. 27-28 by DarkVoid116 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

A Vampire's Guide to Dating the Slayer, Ch. 24-25 (COMPLETE!) by the_big_bad (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Art of Dying, Ch. 29-31, COMPLETE! by disco-tea (Buffy/Spike, R)

Because I could not stop death, Ch. 4-5 by Desicat (Buffy/Spike, R)

Vanilla and Spice, Ch. 26-38 by MaggieLaFey (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

The Truth Shall Set You Free, Ch. 8-10 by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, R)

Up and Away, Ch. 4-5 by simmony (Buffy/Spike, R)

Home Movies, Ch. 11-14 by cawthraven (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Hi Daddy, Ch. 1-4 by SzmattyCat (Buffy/Spike, OC, PG)

Moving Day, Ch. 1-7 (COMPLETE!) by mcgnagallsarmy (Buffy/Spike, )

Flukes, Ch. 1-2 by MillennialCryBaby (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Best Wishes From San Francisco, Ch. 1-2 by Kanita (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Roots Reaching Light, Ch. 1-3 by Lmrln (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

The Replacement, Ch. 1 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, OC, PG-13)

What do you mean I'm Magical Nobility? Ch. 29 by KnightofTempest (Harry Potter crossover, Xander, FR18)

Healing After Heaven, Ch. 2 by Kate (Highlander crossover, Buffy, FR13)

Encased in Sunshine, Ch. 20 by Acb6293 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Don't Fall for Rock Stars, Ch. 74-79 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

From Hell with Love, Ch. 4-6 by temporarytitle (Buffy/Spike, R)

Five Steps to Falling in Love, Ch. 1-5 (COMPLETE!) by Wojtekstan (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

After making a 3d model of the Magic Box I decided to try making the training room. by sumyonggai0000 ()

Drawings: Can Your Pussy Do The Vamp? part 1-4 by Wojtekstan (Spike, G)

[Reviews & Recaps]

For reals, "Walk Through the Fire" has probably the most bone-chilling lyric set... by DiscussTek

Why does it feel like more thought and ideas were put into season 6 than season 7? by jdpm1991

I think this subreddit is pretty harsh on the comics by joebocop89

How do you rank the Buffy Halloween episodes? by nfw22

Best musical moment in the show excluding Once More With Feeling? by jdpm1991

Beep Me Pod | 7.21 – "End of Days"

Angel on Top - 5.19 Time Bomb on Stitcher

[Recs & In Search Of]

CharlieOak86868686 recommends a video about the networks Buffy was on

[Fandom Discussions]

Video: Is Glory Underrated? by RachM

Favourite Giles episode: a poll by nightshade

Wes - ingrained paranoia feeding his fear? by Stoney, Priceless

Poll: Which antagonist are you choosing to work for? by InfiniteMehdiLove

How I started watching BTVS .... Too lazy to look for the remote by sunnycoast37

Who’s coming out alive, Bobby [from Supernatural] or Ripper? by Spacityroller

The Order of Taraka is so lame by DiogenesClub91

Just finished my first ever watch of Buffy and (Buffy is my sister, my best friend) by lavenderspr1te

Why do you think they decided to include Amy commenting on Joyce’s death but not Riley in S6? by Simple-Formal-8588

Pop culture references in Buffy by UpstairsReasonable71

Buffy Summers appreciation thread hosted by Opening_Knowledge868

Hulu thumbnails are nothing but spoilers by bethdubv

Is Spike's wedding date human? by sushibananawater

But You’re Just A Girl (Helpless) – Insect Reflection by Emily

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

Older Buffy Books no longer on Kindle/ Amazon by Louzeyre

Juliet Landau on Twitter: "Come join us [with James Marsters] this SAT /29/23 IG live 11am PST" (Streamily and Instagram)

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[hyenafu]

Hey, I have a quick question, since apparently you went to the center for cartoon studies in white river, Vermont, could you tell me a little about what it was like there? I’m asking because I live nearby the area and I was thinking of applying for it.

Sure thing! Being a student at the Center for Cartoon Studies was one of the most memorable two years of my life. I learned a lot from the school, from my classmates, and I learned a lot about myself. Good AND bad! They have a fantastic collection of all kinds of comics from all across the world called the Schulz Library. I wish I could go there every week. I thought my teachers were cool, too, but since it's been a few years, I'm sure some of the faculty have changed. They do workshops in the summer, but they also have a one-year certificate and a two-year Master of Fine Arts program. The classes for the year-long programs tend to be very small; my class was less than 20 people. Sometimes you take lessons with just your class, and sometimes there are lectures with the whole school, so like... a whopping 40-ish people! Wow! (sarcasm) Being in a small school has its ups and downs. You can become really close to your friends there, and you get more attention from teachers. But if you don't get along with someone, you're going to have to deal with it-- one way or another-- in a small community. Woof! The one-year certificate program and two-year MFA program are all about what you put in. I did the two-year MFA program where you are required to do a bit of internship work and also create a thesis project. Your thesis project, as far as I still understand it, is to make "a year's worth of comics". Whatever that means to you. It can all be the same series or it can all be different comics. For me, that means The Junk Hyenas volume one + Slightly Damned comics I did that year + some autobiographical comics I collected into a zine. (My teachers told me that it was a big overkill and Junk Hyenas alone would have been enough to pass lol)

You will also be asked to do homework while working on your thesis and continuing to learn. It can be overwhelming for some people! It really is all on your shoulders to make yourself do the work. I have friends who left the school thinking their approach promoted an unhealthy workaholic attitude. I loved my friends and CCS, but I hated feeling trapped in White River Junction. (But I also did not bring my car.) Little did I know that the isolation would be "practice" for the pandemic... It feels like only a few of my schoolmates still make comics after graduation, while a couple people ended up famous. Everyone's experiences will be wildly different. I think the best way I've heard anyone sum up the school is that "you'll learn everything you would have learned about comics in 10 years in 2 years". I learned a LOT about comics history, how they're made, what influences them, and different ways they are a part of our lives. My technical skill with comics developed at an incredible speed. However, it wasn't without its problems, and some people fold under the pressure. There is also no guarantee of finding work in comics after you graduate. The school does try to help with networking, but ultimately, that is up to you as well. With all that, I still have more to talk about regarding the Center for Cartoon Studies. If you or anyone else has any more questions for me, please feel free to email me at chu @ raizap.com. I have also been a guest speaker and mentor for second-year students at the school, so maybe I can be your mentor someday if you ask!

[malocclusive]

I think one of my sangriest (sad angry) moments in recent memory was when my husband busted a crown, and we didn't know our dental insurance.

I asked 3 different folks I worked with (my school district has 2 choices for insurance, so it should be a safe bet ONE of them has the same as me) where the fuck to find out how to get it covered. One is general (like Blue Cross Blue Shield, which I grew up under when my grandparents took me in til I aged out) and the other is weird because it's an all in one network*

I happened to ask 3 dudes, and each one replied with "I don't know, my wife handles that."

After the third same reply within 20 minutes (I'm blessed to have my day bookended with prep periods) of hunting folks down, my first thought was "fuck me, I wish I had a wife", and the theoretical warm feeling of "someone knows what to do in an area I don't" washed over me. Then I was despondent because I immediately realized I have extremely little of that. Definitely due to my growing up without it/extremely compensatory nature of refusing help because nobody will ever understand what I'm thinking without extensive explanation (which would be awful for them since my ADHD makes that lengthy on my end/the understanding that comes from teaching and metacognition that only I TRULY know all the background knowledge that informs how I personally process and categorize my thoughts) which means it's just easier to handle things myself.

-Longest post of your life under here with every topic peppered in like a damn confetti cannon-

Could I just get a wife? Can I afford having a third person in my emotional life that I cover living expenses as like a secretary but that I also love and provide for?

That's just kinda the feeling I got. It made me feel gross. It made me feel inadequate. I'm obviously not a good enough wife (and adult, damn) because I didn't know these things, and I'm a bad person for hoping some magic woman (because honestly, I later branched out exclusively to women, married or not, and didn't get anything even REMOTELY similar in their responses to my male coworkers) would take care of me and things I needed legally/monetarily if my body were falling apart.

Still makes me sad, honestly. I grew up til my teen years with zero support on the medical end, and only got insurance when I moved in with my grandparents. BCBS is comprehensive (at the time at least) and well received, and my grampa got it through working for the Pentagon. My mom moved in later with us, and has Medicare, and my younger brother has never gotten insurance through his job.

It turned out that my husband and i (same county educational system) were paying independently out the ass when we could save TONS after marriage, but it wasn't specified. So we decided to have him added to my insurance because honestly, I look at the mail and could (theoretically) handle it. Turns out I fucked up/the emails I get spammed constantly happened to bury what I needed to do next under "congratulations, you're in", so I didn't continue reading. He was uninsured, and it was because I didn't finish reading an email. It's all my fault.

The only way around was divorce, then remarriage (which iirc woulda been like $300 round trip) but that wasn't flying. He was attempting to apply after the open enrollment (why the fuck is this a thing) so he's now paying through the nose for the same insurance we had individually. He also SHOULDN'T have qualified, but we still don't know why they accepted him.

I'm a bad wife, so I still don't understand/the system itself is confusing. Maybe I'm not a bad wife, but everything I know tells me I am.

This is all to say that driving home from one of my side gigs was the 1074283953rd throbbing thought behind my head at how much happier I'd be as a dude, but idk. I've never seen myself as a feminine person, and wonder if I'm compensating for wanting to be outside the binary by idolizing masculinity. I try to keep abreast in the whole "where are we going with masculinity/why do boys feel adrift" thing, especially as an educator who isn't afraid of it, so I'm aware of what's going on in those circles. I know passing is BS as a concept, but outside of accepting circles, know I'll never be taken seriously as a guy. I'm barely taken seriously as an adult as is being 5' and hourglass shaped in my early 30s with a goofy and open disposition, which I use to my advantage of "who cares" as a vibe. But I still know I'm taken as seriously as I take most other things. I'm not gonna perform more than I have to to keep my job, gender wise or in a "professional" sense.

LGBTQIA+ committe head (they deserve respect!) goes as Mx. And goddamn. I can't even imagine the shit they deal with. I'm at a super progressive school, but the shit we deal with and bring up to admin (tbh more supportive than I've EVER experienced, in every capacity in my decade of teaching, by a longshot) to is still bullshit. You can't change a community til their kids fucking go non contact, in my experience.

This got super pessimistic, but most boils down to I'm just trying to rile and pep up my queer kids and be an icon. Maybe one day I'll be happy but til now, I'm just jazzed I did the whole "abrathatfits" thing so my tits are mostly outta the way. They're way up (comparatively) but feel so much better though now I'm uncomfortably aware of them and only one of the 2 fits I have are similar to what I'm used to, but that's just getting used to not wearing sports bras for forever

Makes me feel good in a way, but geh

This post was a primer on like 95% of my insecurities. Long story shirt, wish I could be the Chilchuck coded fucker I wish I were and I'd be happy. I'd be glad being a respected lil sassy capable dude. Aka just the same but without the baggage of hips and tits that devalues me as a weird consumable npc. I wish I had value.

*turns out dental is an entirely different company and it took me nonstop calls to figure it out for over a week

[sojirosteacup]

Years ago, the kbs website used to have character profiles for the bof kdrama characters (the links don't work anymore, but you can still read them through wayback machine). These profiles mostly had stuff we already know about them, maybe with some extra details from the manga that didn't get mentioned in the drama but are easy to guess.

But Woobin's profile is the surprising thing here. It's very detailed considering he has barely any lines in the episodes. And it gives us a lot of insight about his characterization (or what it could have been if he had more screen time):

I'm gonna start by saying that I used google translator bc my korean skills are far from fluent. lol So blame any mistakes on google.

So let's go to the text. Parts of the profile are in italics and the my comments are normal text.

The first part of his description are just stuff that are mentioned or implied in the k-drama (In one line! But it is!):

"He is the hidden leader of F4 and the successor to Ilsim Construction, an emerging blue-chip company in the real estate industry. It is a long-established boss family that has led the traditional violent organization Ilsimpa for generations. In Woo Bin's father's generation, elite management was advocated. By legally diversifying its business, it proudly joined the ranks of emerging conglomerates. However, excellent personal network management that can be mobilized in case of emergency."

Hidden leader doesn't mean leader. The leader is still Junpyo, it's just that Woobin is the only sane man in the group lol.

But at least this part gives us a name for his mafia. I like how his family didn't bother to give the company a different name from it

"Its ability and ability to quickly and powerfully mobilize cash are its secret weapons that even Shinhwa Group cannot ignore."

This is interesting because it implies Junpyo's family keeps Woobin close because of this, which answers the question of why Junpyo's mother lets him be friends with the heir of a criminal organization. And I have no doubt she is interested in the criminal connections too. Let's be honest, that woman is probably involved in a lot of corruption.

"He lives with his mother, who gave birth to him when she was 20, and his twin sisters who were born late."

Whoa, that's a lot of information here. So his little sisters from the manga are canon in this adaptation.

which gives a new meaning to Junpyo's line in episode 16:

He wasn't talking about Woobin's girlfriends, he was talking about Woobin's sisters and maybe mother too.

"This may be the reason why he only meets older people and feels attracted only to older people. Rather than taking care of something, he often find comfort in the love he receives and can rely on. Sometimes, he seduces married women who have husbands without hesitation, but while they are dating, he is a pure romantic who only devotes his sincerity to the other person, showing off his undiminished popularity."

This is manga stuff too and none of this was mentioned in the kdrama. I imagine they thought it would be too controversial to include him having affairs with married women which is fair enough, but I wish they had done something to at least imply it.

"He has a soft charisma that leads his opponents regardless of his young age. His sense of humor has become more savory thanks to the bad hip hop English he learned while studying abroad for a short time as a getaway."

HE STUDIED ABROAD????????? WHY WASN'T THIS MENTIONED IN ANY EPISODE??????? THIS MAKES HIS ENGLISH ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE

And "as a getaway" implies he did that to escape from his life. It goes hand in hand with his manga characterization of the stressed friend.

"He has an innate sense of economics and a spicy fist, which is revealed in various odds and figures in gambling, investment, and securities."

i dunno what a spicy fist is but most of this is just obvious stuff. It's funny to imagine him gambling, though.

"He hates his father who passed on the complex and responsibility of his origins. In the end, they are the most similar."

This is the only thing shown in the kdrama. It's during that scene when he and Yijung are talking in ep 18, when Woobin was threatening to jump off the bridge.

But that's also one of the most interesting thing about this profile.

The mafia thing is not in the manga. There is not a single scene where this is implied and we don't even know what Akira's family does besides "they own a company". I think the first version to include the mafia thing was the Jdrama? Correct me if I'm wrong.

So it's interesting to see that the kdrama actually had plans to do something with it besides "he is a mafia heir look how dangerous and cool he is". And they mixed this with Akira's low self steem from the manga to make him hate himself for his mafia heritage!!! And if we take his F4 after story MV into account, he also seems to have the same not-mafia-related low self esteem from his manga counterpart. This makes it a very interesting characterization.

And then they used it in only one scene.

(sorry Akira)

[dailyunstableeve]

Under the Spell

Chapter (8/9)

Miguel O'Hara x My oc (Eve)

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .

“I born as a normal human being, I took part in Hydra's experiment volunteering, because they found me having an excellent skill on combat, they offered it to me and I took it, and it’s because my family was in need of money,” Eve took a sip of the hot milk Miguel prepared for her.

“What happened next?” Miguel places his hand on Eve’s thigh, showing her that it’s okay, “I will stay no matter what.”

“I worked for them for like eleven years until an accident happened, I remembered that day so well, it was my birthday, my family were singing Happy Birthday to me, when I blew the candle, they disappeared, without a word. I wished to stay with them forever but they disappeared the moment I blew the candle. I panicked, I tried to contact Hydra but no one answered, by the time I notice what’s going on, the world is slowly collapsing, and all it left was darkness, void all around me, everyone was gone but only me who remain,” Eve started to cry, the disappearance of her family hurts her a lot.

Eve continued, she told everything to Miguel, about how she ended up here, being the recent mafia killer, and most important of all, is that Eve isn’t from this universe, she’s from the universe Miguel destroyed.

“What?” Miguel jumped up from his seat.

“I don’t glitch because I traveled here by magic and it protected my cells and slowly allow my cells to adapt to this universe,” Eve explained, “at start I take this mission is because I find out it’s you who destroy my home, I wanted to destroy you like how it destroyed me, but during all these time being with you, I can’t help it but to fall in love with you, the start could be a fake but after that it was all real, even now.”

Then she told Miguel what does Hydra and the Red Room want from Miguel, they wanted the data of the multiverse, so when they get their hands on it, they could easily control the universe because it would be the twice of the number and many know Hydra and the Red Room is hard to take down. And Eve has not even once given them the data.

“I told them that you have great network defenses, and Lyla, so they are done with the nice and waiting way and suppose next week, our one year, I’m going to attack the HQ which I don’t want to so they would control me, make me unable to fight back.”

“I have all the data downloaded in a pendrive, you have to find it, it’s in somewhere I would go often and use often, I can’t be the one who exponse them, you have you to be the one who do it,” Eve said and walk towards the study room, “I promised to meet up with them in 20 minutes, I have to go.”

“Eve.”

“I’ll be okay, it’s in here somewhere,” Eve smiled, she took the earpiece with her and dash out of the house, leaving Miguel standing there.

Eve changed her outfit while she was jumping across the rooftops, she has to show up on time or else things will get messy.

“You’re early,” Eve made it and wore the earpiece.

“You’re late, you are supposed to be here five minutes early!”

“Target returned home earlier than I thought,” Eve reported, “please help me prepare some tissues and dishwasher, I told him I was heading out to get these items.”

"You must not forget your mission, soldier."

"I will never forget the mission, the mission will continue as it should be," Eve wore her mask and proceeded with her mission.

Eve's mission today is another Mafia gang. When Eve arrives at the scene, they are already knocked out.

"They're down, did you have a new recruit I do not know of?" Eve speaks to the earpiece.

"No, our best weapon is always you, finish them all, remember to take some photos," the man ordered.

The photos are for the news, one way or the other, once Hydra and the Red Room was told to the world, they could gain more allies or the world goes against them.

Eve uses her power to kill off the mafia, they are just knocked out, not dead. And the upper hand wants them dead.

"Sorry, but you're not killing them this time."

Eve turned around and saw Miguel in his spiderman suit, using his web, tying them together.

"They're mine," Eve looked at Miguel.

"Why is the target here?" The upper hand asked.

Both of the lovers stay on their guard, mostly Eve, because Hydra and the Red Room are looking at her.

They just looked at each other, not saying anything, waiting for one of them to make the first move.

"Kill the gang and flee the scene, we must have them killed today," the upper hand commanded.

Eve made the first move, she just needed a clear look at the Mafia gang, she can just slide them up with her magic, and Miguel is obviously not letting Eve do it.

"C'mon Spider man, I'm doing you a job, getting rid of the mafia would just make the work easy for you," Eve smug.

"Not by killing them."

Eve charged towards Miguel and threw him away from the mafia gang, as Eve was about to wave her hand as a sign of killing them, her hands were tied up by the trap Miguel placed without her knowing.

Miguel walked towards Eve, reaching his hand towards her and took off the ear piece. The moment Miguel does that, Eve lets out a breath, she then uses her power to knock out the mafia gang.

"Did you find it?" Eve asked.

"Yeah, I already handed it to Lyla, the news should come up any second," Miguel said and turned on his small hologram screen.

A minute later, the news is out.

Eve had never felt that relief before, she started out by turning to Hydra and the Red Room, slowly as she grew she knew what she did was wrong, especially after meeting Miguel, she wanted out but if just by herself, she could never do it. She's happy that Miguel is here to help her.

"Miguel."

"Yes Mi Amor?" Miguel looked at Eve.

Eve turn off the holograms of Miguel's mask.

"Thank you for helping me, Miguel, I love you."

"I love you too Mi Amor, no matter who you are, I'll love you till the end," Miguel carried Eve up and they kissed.

"Let's go home Papi."

"Yeah, home."

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .

Prev~

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[drawnaghht]

just for the record, for Samurai Rabbit fans who do like the show, objectively, the show is pretty good. What's the objective measure here? for me it's usually just much I can enjoy it while watching, but there's always more to it than that. i was a bit bored with the show the first 2 eps, but then it surprised me with a few elements in ep 3. I slowly understood what it was actually going for with the slowness. I kept watching and found things I liked about it. Got all sorts of theories and connections and story ideas. I started re-reading Usagi Yojimbo and went looking for more crew interviews. Saw how much the cast and crew seemed to like it and I'm convinced that it was a good show to work on. Rewatched it in other dubs to get some other perspective for my theories. But that's just one way I enjoy shows.

Of course, there's no real objectivity when it comes to tastes, so I say, if you like it, like it unabashedly. You never know when a show just ends or you'll look back and might feel sad you didn't really let yourself enjoy it, just because others don't. I've watched much trashier shows before this one, (comparably, Samurai Rabbit isn't even trashy at all), and those have gotten much less hate, for being much much more annoying/bad/low quality as a whole x3 You don't have to feel bad about folks hating on the show online. They just have a different taste than you. But if you like it, that's really the only metric you need to judge it.

(this is specifically a thought bc a younger fan wrote to me that they felt sad that the show got so much hate in reviews/online posts etc)

if the show was truly as bad as some folks say, it probably would not have been made. there are just so many factors at play in making a show, i personally just try to go by my gut feeling at this point abt shows and if they're going to be fun to watch or not.

and lol i don't have the energy to put this into a longer well-articulated post but still wondering i guess why there are so many posts with "oh this show ain't so good, i hate it" etc etc

so????

sorry for sounding harsh or whatever but literally, watch more animation!!!! there are shows worse than this one and if you'd been alive when those aired you would have watched them and remembered them fondly, only to realize one day you were just watching them out of boredom bc there was nothing else animated on

even shows which we lambast as critical darlings within fandoms had their ups and downs during airing

how well a show is received always depends on how much the network loves it, but also a lot of pure luck

or you'd find a good show and see that the network abruptly ended it, not even with a solution or real ending, but just something open bc the creators were hoping the show could come back. or the show would come back, but completely changed, something so unwatchable you wish you could unwatch it

at least, that was my experience watching cartoons as a 20-something or younger, coming back to cartoon-watching because I had time after highschool

maybe the show just came out too late/early, and would have found a different audience if it came out at a different time. I think about how ROTTMNT was received and how now reviewers are coming back to it, with tails between their legs like "UmU this show was not so bad... after all!!!" shut it!!!! i guess compared to how rise was treated by old TMNT fans and critics alike, this one has gone fairly under the radar or remained almost unremarked upon. Well, old UY did complain about it, and youtube reviewers too, so it's sorta the same thing. kids' cartoons will always have adult critics because everyone thinks they know how to run a cartoon/know what a good cartoon is xD

find other things to do!!!! make your own cartoons and see how easy it is. western cartoon/tv is just how it is and it's not bad to expect more of it, but also, it feels weird to go along with hating or reviewbombing etc just because that's become something "in" now. there's worse media than an animated adaptation turned into a kids cartoon, made during the pandemic.

lowkey some of you just seem kind of spoiled with how many good series there are, and you're just putting the bar so high for even shows you like, NOTHING is good for you unless it's extremely perfect or catering to each and every of your expectations xD

yea ok, it's a children's cartoon - whatever! western children's cartoons can run such a wide gamut of quality vs enjoyability, there's so many shows now you can enjoy instead.

if it's good for you, great! if it's not, ok! don't go posting it in the tags as some universal opinion lol xD

again, there are much worse cartoons out there in the past and in other parts of the world. one little animation mistake or even several per episode aren't going to break my enjoyment of the episode or show as a whole xD

the slowness i mentioned experiencing for example, is also subjective. A reviewer on Commonsensemedia, wrote that they found the show too fast-paced, but that their young daugther liked it, and how the messaging came off as good to both them and their child. It's a matter of perspective.

like yeah, it's a bit goofy and dorky at times, I personally do not get some of the jokes (more on that in a proper review) and maybe as an animator, i'm a bit annoyed at some of the things done with the 3D animation specifically. But that's personal! and those are so few things. on the flipside, I was still able to enjoy the rest of the show, because to me it felt like a lot of care and thought was put into it as a whole. Like, many of the visdev team actually asked to be on the show. It can't be that bad if long time professionals around the western animation industry want to work on it.

A show that's truly bad, would not even bother fleshing out some sort of villain or antagonists at all, and mabye would have scrapped Kagehito as a character entirely, when hearing that it was sort of impossible to animate him as intended. But there's a lot of stuff in this show like that. Compromises from the crew, so they could still make the show and focus on aspects of production and story that were more necessary. So for example also, lobbying for more appearances of Miyamoto Usagi, even though Netflix was not on-board with that themselves, the producers and showrunners were.They were pushing for more of him and his backstory in this show.

so eah, idk, this ended up long anyway, but just, if you like it already, it's ok xD you don't have to justify yourself to other fans or people. and honestly, if you dislike it, same thing. you don't have to justify it. you can just dislike things without reason.

[dojae-huh]

JN and JW hinting they are starting to record for 127 cb album. The keyword is "starting" we may not know when it'll release it could be next year. DJJ start recording for mini album since Jan 2022 its means the plans had been cooked since 2021. DJJ is still busy with fansigns and if the fancon is a tour we might get another date at least until July. TY solo is on June 5th. Dream tours is still going until July 11th (if theres no additional show). If nct2023 will be release on Aug then Dream cb is on Sept (SM said they both in Q3). On the other hand, today timeline has been talking bout TI bbl, he said about sleeping for hours and feel hopeless. I dont know exactly what he refered it could be anything, but I bet its about lack of solo activity and his e-date is due. Or it could be about his songs got rejected by SM. SM has a plan for whole year, its only on Q2 yet already messed up (aespa and Taeyeon cb should be on April). Seems like he cant fit anything on the masterplan and he frustated. I pity him really, but SM is SM, they are business oriented company. He must be working on something profitable if making music doesnt give him a place in company. I wish he has a bit of DY/TY confidence in building his own idol self, doing something to gain attention from gp, networking with people in industries, creating his own portofolio on sns, etc.

I'd prefer to wait more but get a good result out of it.

Granted, we, fans, lost fate in SM after the mess of the last year, however, the delays were always a problem, meanwhile SM does have a record of performing well (2018 run, NCT2020 run). DJJ's debut and aespa's comeback show improvements in quality of preparations. As such, I wouldn't catastrophize. It's in SM's interest to give 127 an album this year. Album sales and new songs for a new tour bring money, not delays. It's not like 127 is an unprofitable group or a group from a small company that has no funds for a new comeback.

I think what's important to realise is that the fear of 127 disbanding is not valid anymore.

Taeil's bubble.

Fans in quirts "read the future". They put words in Taeil's mouth, they don't know what he feels really, what he meant to convey with his bubble. Who wouldn't want to have a long sleep? People dream of having lots of money and not needing to work. And here is Taeil, with money, and not needing to wake up 3 a.m.

Taeyong did a promotion today in a theme park for the Rose day. He said he always wanted to do something on this day, and here he is, giving out 605 roses on the street. The company heard his wish and arranged the flowers and the event. Is this mistreatment? If Doyoung and Taeyong get budget for their covers and dance numbers for a YT channel, then why it is expected that Taeil would be treated differently? Being the best vocal in the group? Why SM can give him two solo numbers for Link+ and center a cooking show for YT content around him, but "acts evil" otherwise?

We don't know what is the deal with Taeil. Is it the problem of scheduling and him needing to enlist soon, or maybe it's a problem of him being a less popular member and SM starting the solo releases with more popular members for a better publicity, or maybe he is stuck with the creative side of things/SM not finding him a worthy A-track yet. He will get his solo album sooner or later. Everyone does now, so there is no worry about that.

You wish Taeil to be like Taeyong or Doyoung. Will it make him happier? Why the fans refuse idols like him (homebodies who instead of wandering the streets of a new city spend hours playing pool or who cook meat in 20 ways) to exist and just be? He has respect from people around him, he is friends with renowned producers, he has security in his job, he travels the world, he has money for a private pilates instructor, he has time to play piano and guitar and learn how to compose, he has freedom of doing lives where he sings for hours for millions of people tuning in if he wishes so... and if he sounds or looks unhappy or frustrated sometimes it is because noone is always happy, it's simply impossible, our human programming doesn't allow it.

Anyways. Let's stop thinking for idols and pity those who made it to the top of idol career.

[borderlineheart]

My therapist used to tell me that I need to find where my need to be in a relationship started, because I told him I never really was interested in dating until my mid 20s.

I was sexualized as a child, I was rejected as a teenager, and in my early adulthood I struggled meeting people and leaving my house, I didn't want to do anything. I was stuck in a bubble, which I exploited creatively.

I was in love with my best friend from HS, and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.

My father was abusive and didn't demand much from me just that I stay out of his way, and I did. My mother was frustrated that I wanted to do fashion design, a dream, she and my family never supported me in, they saw it as pointless and bullied me out of pursuing it.

When I was 23 I entered an artist showcase, my sister helped me and encouraged me, my only supportive family member, after the showcase my family supported my career in fashion and i found my own voice in my life and finally took control of it.

Years of school, and networking, making friends, who pushed me as i pushed them, collaboration and true interspection, it was beautiful. And cool.

I focused on my special interest and I was once again fighting for my voice.

I was one of the best. I think if I worked on my mental health back then, I would've made it farther, not just in fashion but in life generally.

I wouldn't have questioned my talent, my ability to network, my beauty, my uniqueness, my self.

I wish i could go back to that spot in union Square where I gave up. Where I asked myself why I was still in NYC.

I gave up that dream, because I was so lonely.

I couldn't get a better job, a better apartment and the men in my life were shit.

I would have saved myself.

Now, I am trying my best to push forward, I want to complete my projects and really push forward with my dreams, men come and go, they don't matter, I want people to see my art, read my stories. Time is passing by and I am starting to see it on my hands.

This crazy lady still has a lot to say.

[indynerdgirl]

So I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes back in January. With the support of my wonderful & amazing doctor, my family & friends, and the help of a dietician who specializes in diabetes I drastically changed my eating habits and learned how to manage my blood sugar. Just with those changes alone I've been slowly losing weight all year.

Last night I had a moment in a dressing room that I thought would never happen - I zipped up a pair of size 22 jeans and they fit perfectly fine.

I was wearing a 26 in January.

I started wearing a 24 in August.

I haven't worn a 22 since high school.

I sat down on the little bench in the dressing room in total shock and almost burst into tears. Both in joy at this accomplishment and in sadness & frustration at myself, wondering how much sooner I could have reached this milestone if I had started this journey 10 years earlier.

I've been plus-size my entire life and (with the best of intentions of my mother & grandmother) have been on almost every fad diet since 5th grade. It wasn't until my mid 20s that I learned that both the weight gain and difficulty in losing weight were due to an underlying health reason - polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS.

[the rest of my story is under the cut because this post ended up way longer than I had anticipated]

TL;DR - I'm 35 and I've been working on my health this past year and while I'm so happy to celebrate my successes, I wish I had started this journey sooner. Please don't do what I did and ignore symptoms for years. And if you have a young girl in your life that has irregular periods, get her checked for PCOS. Because if I had been given that diagnosis & started treatment decades earlier (and no, being given birth control is NOT a treatment for PCOS - it's lazy medical treatment at best and malpractice at worst) I know my life would be different right now because the majority of my life has been dictated by my size.

I'd had irregular periods my entire life but for some reason, none of my childhood doctors or even my mother ever thought to check for it. I was checked for thyroid issues and vitamin deficiencies but for some reason, PCOS was never brought up (not that I would have known to ask about it as a child). But one day I was having a physical done by a new doctor (not my current doctor) and when I mentioned my irregular periods she started asking me more questions about them and after looking at the rest of my medical history decided to have me checked for PCOS. And low and behold I had it.

I can't tell you the relief I felt finding out there was an actual medical reason for why I had struggled with my weight my entire life. Because up until that moment I'd always been made to feel like it was all my fault that I was fat. If I just ate better or stuck to a strict diet or exercised more (I can't even begin to describe the embarrassment and humiliation of being forced to go to exercise classes with your mother when you're 12yr old and you're the only kid in a class full of adults). It was never ever directly said to me, but it was obvious in the way things were said and the way people acted around me.

The doctor also explained to me that I was pre-diabetic as PCOS can cause diabetes if left untreated (this will be important to remember in just a minute). So we started working on getting my hormones back on track and I was told to try to cut back on my sugar intake. Unfortunately not too long afterward, the job I had at the time decided to switch our health insurance provider. Suddenly my doctor was out of network and continuing to see her was becoming very expensive for me as I wasn't making a whole lot at the time (I was working at a childcare center). Add in the fact that she was on the opposite side of town from me and that it was almost impossible to get time off work for appointments, I just kind of stopped seeing her.

The next part of my story is where I wish I could go back in time and shake some sense into my younger self. Because did I try to find a new doctor that my insurance would pay for? Nope. Did I at least try to cut back on my sugar and eat a little better? Also, no. For the next almost ten years, despite knowing I had PCOS and knowing I was pre-diabetic, I didn't change my eating habits at all. Every once in a while I'd get on a "health" kick and go for walks at the park and try to eat more whole wheat bread than white bread, but those never lasted long. I wasn't in the best space mentally either so there was also a lot of emotional eating as well. I figured as long as I never had to go up another pant size I was doing all right just "maintaining". If I got sick and needed to see a doctor, I just went to one of those minute clinic things at Walgreens. Yeah, mid & late 20s me was an idiot.

Fast forward to a few years ago when it started being pretty obvious that I had crossed the line from pre-diabetic to actually diabetic. I had all the classic signs and symptoms yet I was still being an idiot and ignoring my health. Unfortunately, I've always had a horrible bad habit of thinking if I just ignore whatever issues or problems I'm currently having that they'll just go away. Yeah, I know. I finally get to the point where I know I can't ignore my health anymore and January of 2020 I make it my New Year's goal to start getting myself back on track. By the time I worked up the courage to call and set up an appointment with my old doctor (I had a new job by then with better insurance that included her again) two things happened: March of 2020 and the building her practice was in was destroyed in a fire.

So I told myself I'd just "wait until this whole covid thing was over" before trying to set up an appointment again. And we all know how the rest of 2020 went. Now it's December of 2021 and I still haven't made an appointment with my old doctor. But I was at an eye doctor appointment that I'd also been putting off for years despite knowing it was time for a new prescription. After checking my eyes, the eye doctor tells me that I need to see my doctor as soon as possible because he saw signs of diabetic retinopathy in my eyes. And as someone who's always had poor eyesight and one of their greatest fears is going blind, THAT was the kick in the pants I needed to finally see a doctor.

I ended up having a heart-to-heart with my mom about my health (something I would always avoid talking about with her) and admitting that I really didn't want to go back to my old doctor because I never really felt a good connection with her but I was willing to deal with that issue since she was also a practicing Catholic and it's hard to find not only a good doctor but a Catholic one as well (I know there are plenty of good doctors out there who aren't Catholic, but as a practicing Catholic, it does make things so much easier when your doctor also follows Church teachings when it comes to health & medical issues). My mom then suggested I set up an appointment with her new doctor who is not only a general MD, but also specialized in treating PCOS and also just happened to be Catholic as well.

So I set up an appointment with Dr. Holly for after the New Year and the rest, as they say, is history. She's just a few years older than me and I have never in my life been so at ease with a doctor. She and I hit it off right away and when I explained everything to her she didn't make me feel bad for waiting for so long to do anything like I was afraid she would. Instead, she listened to all of my concerns, validated them, and then right there came up with a plan of attack listing out all of the health issues we needed to tackle right away (getting the diabetes under control & start treating the PCOS) and what health issues weren't immediately pressing (some small patches of eczema & trying out meds for my ADHD again).

It also helps that she's diabetic as well so she knows exactly what I'm going through and have to deal with on a day to day basis. With her help and support (plus the advice from the dietician she recommend to me), I brought down my A1C from a staggering 12.7% to a much better 7.2% at my last appointment with her and, of course, have been slowly and steadily losing weight.

I decided early on that I wasn't going to obsess over the numbers on the scale, instead mostly tracking my progress by how my clothes are fitting. Since January I'm down not only two pant sizes but also a shirt size! I'm able to comfortably wear again all of the 2XL shirts I own and I've gone to a few events where I was able to buy a shirt as a souvenir because I didn't have to worry if they had a 3XL because I knew would be able to fit in a 2XL.

I still have a lot of work to do (I really do need to start actually exercising) but I am so happy with what progress I've made so far already. If you had told me last year that I'd be wearing a size 22 pair of jeans, I would have laughed in your face. I still can't believe it sometimes, but then I look at pictures of myself from last year compared to this year and the differences are kind of shocking. And that's been another little victory for me - actually not hating how I look in photos. I've taken more photos of myself/allowed myself to be in more photos this year than in at least the last five years if not more.

I never know how to end posts like this, so if you've actually read this far down, thanks. 💙

[crazy-dog-lady-81]

Unconventional Conventions

Chapter 20

Finding a good family law attorney took longer than they would have expected. Kai being Kai, they had wanted to be thorough and to hire the very best attorney that they could afford. Together, they had spent many hours viewing websites, bar associations, and other referral networks. This research had resulted in a long list of possible candidates. They had then worked their way through the list, reducing it to a more manageable number. After a day of phone calls, during which Kai and Amelia had effectively interviewed each attorney, they had finally settled on one that they both felt was the right choice.

Begging another morning off work, they now sat in the office of James Lambert. He had listened to their story while taking copious volumes of notes. After they finished giving him the key details, James took a few minutes to review his notes before telling them that he could help Amelia to retain custody of Scout. The case would hinge on a few points. It was a fact that Amelia had always been a good mother to her son. He never wanted for anything and had never been subjected to any abuse or neglect. That Kai was non-binary was not something that he saw being an obstacle to the success of the case. He said that it was more important that they were a stable and positive figure in Scout’s life, which he argued was evident in the fact that they had just moved to Seattle and purchased a house.

“About Dr. Lincoln’s mental health status, I feel that we should go ahead and request a psychiatric review. If there are problems, we need to know about them so that we can build the strongest argument possible for your retention of custody”, the lawyer said.

“Okay, we agree with that. My uncle is a psychiatrist, and he gave us a recommendation for an expert in the field here in Seattle. Dr. Patrick Kelly. Can you request that he conduct the assessment on Link?” Kai enquired.

“Sure, no problem. I will get that arranged as a matter of priority”, James replied. “Good choice of clinician, by the way. Pat’s a good man and an excellent doctor. He’ll be fair and unbiased in his assessment.”

“Good”, Amelia said. “It might work in our favour to have Link be diagnosed with mental illness but it’s not something that we are wishing on him. Not at all. He’s always been such a decent man and a great father. Scout needs his dad to be well and happy. I need that too. You understand?”

James nodded. “You know, it’s refreshing to meet someone with your attitude. All too often I meet people who want to tear their ex-partners apart and who would go to any lengths to achieve this goal. The children involved in these cases become emotional footballs, used to score points against the other parent. It’s very damaging, especially to the kids.”

“That’s a situation that we don’t wish to find ourselves in, Mr. Lambert. It wouldn’t be fair on anyone of us. However, while we hold this view, we also feel that while we await the results of Link’s psychiatric evaluation, he shouldn’t have access to Scout” Kai added.

“I hear you. You need to know that it’s not quite as simple as saying that Link cannot see his child. In order to withhold custody from him, we’ll need to make an application in family court. A judge will need to hear the arguments before they revoke Dr. Lincoln’s parental rights, even if it is only on a temporary basis”, James explained. “In the meantime, you do need to stick to your current custody agreement. It isn’t legal to deny him access without a court order. Also, doing so would probably be very detrimental to your case”.

With decisions made about what the lawyer would do next on their behalf, the couple felt better. It was somewhat of a relief that they had gotten the ball rolling and thus were closer to a resolution. They knew that the road ahead would be rocky and difficult and that they risked destroying their relationship with Link beyond repair. Amelia, in particular, felt bad about that fact but at the same time knew that she couldn’t just let this happen. She had to fight for her son and for her unconventional new little family.

After the consult, they both have to go back to work. Before returning to their individual duties, they take some time to drop by the day care centre to see Scout. He’s sitting with a small group of toddlers who are sitting down listening to the child care worker reading them a story. It’s about dinosaurs and the little boy is hanging on every word, his mouth slightly agape with wonder.

Content to know that he was safe and well, the couple decide against disturbing him. They share a hug and a chaste kiss. They agreed that Kai would pick Scout up that evening before meeting his mom in the lobby to share the journey home.

Amelia took the elevator to the neuro ward to check in on her patients. Stopping at the nurses station to grab a tablet, she clicks into the relevant medical files. She’s pleased to see that all of her patients appear to be doing well. There doesn’t appear to have been any serious complications or deteriorations in any of their conditions. On auto pilot, she allow muscle memory to take her down the corridor to see her first patient.

Ninety minutes later, she has completed her rounds and with her notes all updated, she returns the tablet to it’s slot at the nurses station. She decided to make her way down to the operating theatres to see what’s happening there. On route, she is joined by Maggie. Her sister is just as bright and shiny as always. Amelia smiles, revealing her dimples, as Maggie babbles excitedly about the maze surgery she had just completed. The surgery involved the creation of a pattern of scar tissue within the upper chambers of the heart to redirect electrical signals along a controlled path to the lower heart chambers. The surgery blocks the stray electrical signals that cause atrial fibrillation, the common of heart arrhythmias. It had been a while since Maggie had performed this operation and she delighted that it had gone smoothly.

Amelia could understand her sister’s excitement. All surgeons loved being able to “fix” their patients, using their wits and their hands to do so. It was a job that required nerves of steel and the ability to resolve problems quickly and efficiently. For Amelia, it was life. She couldn’t cut, her life wouldn’t be nearly as fulfilling as it was. She couldn’t see herself being happy doing any other work.

Her happy thoughts were interrupted by the sound of sneakered feet squeaking on the linoleum floor behind her. “Amelia. Hey, Amelia”, she heard. She turned to find Link jogging up to meet her. He was smiling as he fell into step beside her.

“Hi Link. How are you?” she asked politely.

“I’m great. You look lovely today. Red suits you”, he said, alluding to the red blouse that she was wearing beneath her white coat. “Then again, you look great in everything that you wear.”

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up in a way that would have be comical if it weren’t for the situation she knew existed between Link and Amelia. Their relationship was over and had been for quite sometime now. And yet, here Link was hitting on her sister.

“Do you have plans for dinner this evening? I would love to take you out if you are free. It’d be just like old times. No pressure. I just thought that it would be nice to reconnect is all”.

Amelia was lost for words. She looked to Maggie for confirmation that her ears hadn’t deceived her. Her hopes were dashed by Maggie’s look of utter disbelief. She cleared her throat, buying herself a few extra seconds to gather her thoughts before she made any reply.

“Thank you for the invitation. While I am flattered, I can’t accept it. It wouldn’t be fair to you, Link. Not when it might leave you feeling confused about our relationship and where we stand with each other. Besides, Kai and I have plans this evening with Scout.”

At the mention of Kai, Link’s face clouded and darkened ominously. “Kai. They she goes again ruining everything. She’s turning you against me, trying to take you and Scout away from me. I won’t let that happen Amelia.” His voice was rising as he spoke and he shouted her name loudly, causing other people around them to turn towards the source of the sudden commotion.

“Lower your voice, Link. People are looking.”

“Let them look. They need to see, to hear the truth. Kai is plotting against us Amelia. Worming her way into your life, pushing me out so that she can steal my family.”

Maggie raised her hands in a motion that asked him to stop and to calm down. “Link, stop. This isn’t the time or the place. Also, what you are saying simply isn’t true.”

Link was crimson with frustration. He could understand why Amelia couldn’t see what was obvious to him. If he could make her see and understand she’d come back to him. If Kai would stop spoiling everything, they could get back on track. Kai, it was all her fault.

Meredith came dashing around the corner. She had heard Link shouting from the other end of the floor and had ran to find out what was going on. Seeing Link standing over Amelia, face red and fists clenched, she immediately stepped in between the two, fearing that he was about to hit the neurosurgeon.

“Dr. Lincoln. What is going on here? Why are you shouting?” she demanded.

“I was trying to explain to Amelia that Kai is trying to destroy our relationship and steal Scout. She doesn’t believe me.”

“Maggie, you need to take a break before your next surgery so go. I will get your version of events later. You two, my office. Now!” Her tone was firm and did not leave room to say no. So, they went with her like school kids going to the principal’s office.

When Meredith understood what had happened, she looked towards Link with concern. “Link, I am worried about you. This is really out of character. I feel that I have no choice but to put you on paid leave. Take a few weeks, get some rest and we’ll review the situation in two weeks’ time.”

His shoulders were slumped, and he looked broken as he left the room. Amelia felt for him, but she knew that Meredith had done the right thing in giving him some time off. He clearly was not in his right mind and, as such, could pose a risk to his patients.

“He needs a psych review”, Meredith said.

“He’ll be having one soon”. Amelia filled Meredith in on the meeting with the attorney and about the plan to request a psych evaluation.

“It’s all such a mess. How did this happen?”

Before the blonde doctor could reply, there was a knock on the door. The door opened and Kai entered the room. “Maggie called the lab to let me know what had happened. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just frustrated that this is happening.”

Kai slipped a long, slender arm around her waist and pulled her to their side. She couldn’t deny that their touch felt calm and grounding. She wasn’t frightened by Link’s outburst, but she was thrown by the events. They had been as bizarre as they had been unexpected.

“Take a long lunch. You don’t have surgeries scheduled and the lab will survive without you for a while, Kai. Look after my sister for me, will you?”

Kai nodded and guided their girlfriend from the room gently. They didn’t speak until they were seated in a quiet booth in Joe’s. Over coffee and fries, Amelia told Kai about how Link had ranted and raved about them. Kai wasn’t fazed but said that the psych review couldn’t happen soon enough.

“I can handle myself, Amelia. Link doesn’t scare me. It’s you and Scout that I’m worried about. If anything were to happen to you two, I don’t know what I’d do. You are my whole world.”

“I love you, Bartley. I love how you want to protect and defend you. It’s nice, special. I will call the attorney this afternoon and tell him to push the evaluation as soon as he can.”

Her fingers reached out for theirs and when they found their target, they intertwined. Her engagement ring sparkled, and she smiled. “It will be okay. With things this bad, I figure that they can only get better”.