#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

[prettywhenicryyyyyyyy]

What are we?

park sunghoon / one shot

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖.

★ pairing : sunghoon × fem reader

★ content : f! reader x sunghoon, high school situationship, making out, out of jealousy

★ gnere : situationship, friend with benefits

★ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 : smut- 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, nipples licking, bite fetish, 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾 and 𝗃𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈n, emotionally unavailable and cold hearted sunghoon. D𝗈 𝗅𝖾𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝖿 𝗂 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀.

song suggestions (while reading this):

friends by chase atlantic

house of balloons / glass table girls by the weeknd

You were like two opposite ends of a magnet, drawn to each other but always repelled. He was emotionally unavailable, closed off and guarded, while you were an introvert who craved connection. And yet, despite your differences, you found themselves in a messy, complicated whirlwind of a situationship.

There was something about Park Sunghoon, He was a man who could charm any woman with his smile alone, his chiseled features and striking eyes drawing them in like moths to a flame. Yet, beneath that handsome exterior lay a heart of ice, cold and unyielding to any who dared to try and break through. One look into his steely gaze and you knew that love was not something that came easily to him, if at all. Despite his cold-hearted nature, he was fiercely possessive of you. Whenever he saw other guys paying attention to you, a dark anger would rise in him, and he would glare at them with a steely intensity that made them scurry away. But when he looked at you, his expression softened, and it was like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. He may have been popular in school, but when it came to you, he was utterly captivated.

in the evening

"excited to see me tomorrow?" he texted

"you wish" you replied.

"Is that a challenge?" he teased "Because I am pretty sure i can make you admit that you can't resist me" he said

*sighs*

"You're so full of yourself" you retorted with playful sarcasm "As if i'd ever admit something like that to you"

"You will tomorrow." he replied

"huh? Alright see you tomorrow"

"don't be late, I dont want to waste my time waiting for you" he said

"yes, i won't be late"

As you lay in bed that night, your thoughts kept drifting to sunghoon with the captivating eyes and the possessive demeanor. You couldn't help but wonder what he was doing right now, if he was thinking about you too, if he cared about you like you cared about him. Despite his aloofness, you couldn't deny the undeniable pull he had on you, the magnetic force that drew you in despite you better judgment.

in the morning

You arrived at school with a mix of nervousness and anticipation swirling in your stomach. As you made your way through the halls, your eyes scanned the crowd for any sign of sunghoon. You tried to act nonchalant, but you couldn't help feeling a flutter of excitement at the thought of seeing him again.

As you walked through the crowded hallway, completely lost in your own thoughts, a voice suddenly spoke from behind you "Hey, what's up?" Sunghoon, had sneaked up behind you, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you startle. As he hugged you, your body pressed against his, you were just about to start telling him about a problem you were having when he suddenly interrupted you. "Not now," he said tersely, his tone making it clear that he wasn't interested in whatever it was you had to say.

He held you tighter, as if trying to shut out the world and keep you all to himself.

You took a deep breath and summoned up the courage to speak her mind. "Can we discuss something serious for a moment?" you asked, your voice steady despite the nerves gnawing at your insides.

He looked down at you, a hint of surprise in his eyes. "What is it?" he said, his tone a little less dismissive than usual.

"I was wondering if we could talk about our relationship," she continued. "I feel like we care about each other, and I think it's time we take this thing further."

His eyes darkened at your words, his irritation apparent. "Why are you rushing things?" he repeated, his voice laced with annoyance. "We're fine the way things are now. I don't see why we need to change anything." The discussion quickly escalated into a full-blown argument.

"I'm not happy just being your casual fling," you said, your voice rising in volume. "I want more than just physical contact. I want an actual relationship."

He clenched his jaw, his expression tight with anger. "That's all this is to me," he snapped. "A casual fling. I don't do relationships, I've told you that from the start. If you can't handle that, then maybe you need to find someone else" and he left.

You couldn't help but feeling a swirl of emotions - sad, angry, and confused. You couldn't understand why he wouldn't even consider a real relationship with you, why he was so intent on keeping things casual. It hurt you to know that he didn't value your emotional needs as much as he did the physical aspect of their connection.

in the classroom

As you entered the classroom, already feeling vulnerable and upset from your fight with sunghoon. As you took your seat, jake from your class who had been crushing on you for years approached you with a sly grin on his face. "Hey, beautiful," he purred, leaning in close and making your skin crawl. His eyes roamed over your body, taking in your every move and making it abundantly clear that he was undressing you in his mind.

"Back off, you creep" you replied through gritted teeth

"what's the matter, sweetheart?" he asked in a mocking tone.

He stepped even closer, invading your personal space and making you feel cramped and claustrophobic.

Sunghoon had been lurking in the background, watching the entire interaction between you and jake. He had seen your discomfort and fear, and it enraged him. When jake tried to touch your waist, his eyes narrowed, hands clenched into fists as he felt the intense primal jealousy and possessive desire to claim you as his own. .He strode over, anger etched across his face, and delivered a hard punch to Jake's jaw, sending him sprawling to the floor. Jake staggered backward, stunned by the unexpected attack. He brought a hand to his aching jaw, his eyes wide with disbelief and anger as he stared up at sunghoon who stood over him. His lips curled up in a sinister, cruel smile.

Jake: "So what's your deal, Sunghoon? I see you're all possessive and protective over her, but you're too emotionally unavailable to actually make her your girlfriend, right?"

Sunghoon's expression darkened at Jake's words, his eyes narrowing as he clenched his fists.

Sunghoon: "Shut up, Jake. You don't know anything about us."

Jake: "Oh, I think I know enough. You act like you care, but you're just too scared to commit."

Sunghoon grabbed him by the collar, his eyes widening with fear. his voice was cold and dangerous as he spoke, his eyes gleaming with anger.

"Listen to me, you little scumbag," he hissed through gritted teeth. "You've got two options. Either you get the hell out of her sight right now, or I'll kill you. Understand?"

Jake pushed sunghoon back, his eyes gleamed with mockery as he continued to goad Sunghoon.

"You're a goddamn coward, Sunghoon," he hissed. "You act like you're so tough and strong, but when it comes to committing to a relationship, you're nothing but a weak-ass coward.

"You're lucky I don't kill you right now," Sunghoon growled, his eyes filled with rage. Then he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Jake lying on the ground, clutching his bleeding nose and nursing his bruised ego.

As Sunghoon stalked away, the other students parted like the Red Sea, giving him a wide berth. They knew better than to get in his way when he was in this kind of mood.

You were frightened by Sunghoon's sudden outburst of anger. It was a side of him you hadn't seen before, and it raised questions about his true nature.

You reached out to Sunghoon as he started to walk away, feeling a mixture of worry and anger.

"What the hell was that?" you said, your voice sharp. "You can't just go around attacking people because they say something you don't like."

He stopped and looked back at you his expression a mix of anger and frustration.

"You don't understand," he said, his voice gruff. "He was being a dick, and he had it coming.

You questioned "Why do you care so deeply? What are we?" sunghoon found himself speechless. You demanded, "If you care so much, why can't you just accept us and what we have?"

Without answering your question sunghoon silently walked off to the school game room, his thoughts swirling with the conversation just had with you. He couldn't ignore the growing questions about undefined situation and the need for clear boundaries, you followed him your curiosity about him and the complicated relationship driving you forward.

As you entered the game room, you spotted him near the pool table, a mixture of anticipation and nerves coursing through you. Desperate to avoid the inevitable conversation, you grabbed a pool stick, feigning interest in the game. Your fingers trembled slightly. He looked at you with a playful grin and said, "You're holding the stick all wrong, sweetheart." His voice held a hint of flirtation that sent a shiver down your spine. He took a step closer, holding the pool stick in one hand. "Let me show you how to play pool y/n" His tone was smooth as he positioned himself behind you, adjusting her grip on the stick, his touch sending a jolt through your body. You could feel his breath on her neck, stirring a mix of nerves and excitement. His dick was hard, As he stood near you.

As his lips inched closer to your neck, your pulse quickened, betraying the effect his proximity had on her. His hands encircled your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your breath hitched "What are-"

"shhh" he whispered "no more questions, no more rules." His touch sent a shiver down your spine, he turned your face towards his, catching your lips in a passionate kiss. She melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you effortlessly onto the pool table. your legs hugged his hips as he closed any remaining space between bodies, his hands roaming over your curves. "I get defensive and insecure because you're mine, mine to have and to hold" he said as he grabbed your throat "He nipped and sucked your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys that marked you as his own. Your body trembled, strange desire to submit, to surrender, to be owned by him, flared within you, making it difficult to resist his dominant possessiveness. You could only manage a breathless "Yes" in response. His touch was making you weak. You let out a soft moan *unnghhh* unable to resist the sensations he was stirring within you.

He smirked at her response and whispered, "Yeah, that's what I like. Let me hear you," his voice a seductive drawl "I'd pin you against the wall and kiss you right in front that fucker jake, just to remind him you're mine"

"Please," she whispered, her voice a mix of pleading and desire, "claim me, make me yours, I don't want anyone else, I just want you. Sunghoon's hands moved to your shirt, unbuttoning it slowly, revealing your perfect cleavage with each button undone. His touch was light but firm. "I guess now i know why i have canines" he whispered. He leaned in and bit your boobs, his teeth leaving a mark on your boobs your body arching towards his as you gasped in response. His tongue traced the mark he left, soothing the burning sensation before nipping her again, harder this time. You were aware of Sunghoon's bite fetish now, and it only heightened the sensations you felt as he continued to leave bites and hickeys all over your skin. Each bite was a claim, making you feel more and more like his possession. Despite the slight pain, you found yourself arching towards his mouth, silently begging him for more, her body craving the mixture of pain and pleasure that his bites caused.

Sunghoon, watching your reactions with dark satisfaction, didn't hesitate to slide your bra down, leaving your boobs completely exposed. His eyes roamed over your boobs "Fuck" he said with seductin in his voice. Sunghoon leaned in, his tongue swiping across your nipples, a mix of claiming and taste. He couldn't get enough of your nipples, wanting to memorize every inch of her body with his lips and tongue.

"You taste sweeter than I imagined, " he whispered, his breath against your skin making you shiver, "You're mine and I'm taking every part of you that I can," he growled, his voice rough and possessive. When you moaned his name, Sunghoon felt a burst of possessive satisfaction. Your submission to him only served to fuel his possessive desire further.

"That's right," he muttered, his mouth moving along her skin, leaving a trail of kisses and bites. "Say my name again, I want to hear you moan it, I want to hear you begging for me." As you lost control, your body was completely in sync with his touch, her every thought and action driven by your desire for him.

"I need you, Sunghoon," you whispered, your voice a hoarse gasp. "I need more, I need all of you, do whatever you want with me, I'm yours." He grabbed your boobs taking a firm gentle hold. As she lost control, her body was completely in sync with his touch, her every thought and action driven by her desire for him. "Say it," he ordered "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours." you said in a breathless whisper "That's right" he murmured.

His face was now buried in between your boobs, his breathing heavy and hot against your sensitive skin. He inhaled deeply, as if he was trying to capture your very essence. His hands continued their possessive hold on your body, his grip tight and unyielding.

"You're mine," he muttered again, his voice muffled against her skin, "Completely mine, every last inch of you."

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ

hope you enjoyed! let me know which part made you giggle.

[eiko-chatter]

(CW death, suicide) 6 months ago today, I lost a close friend.

Mari was - someone who loved unabashedly and shared it with the world, despite having been horribly wronged by it. She made a point of complimenting strangers because she knew she was unthreatening and wanted people to know the things about them she appreciated. She tried hard to reach out to people she thought seemed neat, even though it took her time to build up the courage - that's how we met in the first place, at skating night. (she told me later she'd been building up the courage to talk to me the first 3 times we'd been at skating together). In my short time with her, she made it abundantly clear how much she loved her people - her entire soul lit up when she talked about them. She told me so many stories about people I didn't know very well and more about people I'd never met - will probably never meet, now - and even though she's gone, a little piece of her love for them remains.

She brought that energy to her hobbies - she wrote and shared really detailed strategy guides for the games she played, made and published free translations of foreign gay comics on request - and her friendships. I met Mari only a few weeks before my roommate's cat died. She came to visit us a day or two later, brought us flowers, and kept us company while we grieved. She checked in on us every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and did what she could to help. She was meticulous about keeping track of people's preferences and triggers, and thanked me whenever i told her about one so that she could use it to be more effectively kind.

I didn't really learn the details of what Mari was going through until a week before she died, but it was - genuinely harrowing. She was really hesitant to talk about it at all, but it eventually got bad enough that she was willing to, and when I heard the details I invited her to come to stay with us to get a break and have some company. She stayed with us for 3 days, during which she was more scared and frightened than I'd ever seen her. By the time I took her back home, things had gotten worse - she said she just wanted to be alone, that she thought that would help, so I hugged her and left. (it was the last time I'd see her. she was smiling at me and making a little heart gesture with her hands as I drove away). But being alone ended up being worse for her - she asked me if she should find someone to babysit her, but I - didn't know anyone in her area (it was a pretty long drive), and she was having a lot of trouble with her local social group, so we planned on having me go down to look after her that Saturday, and I spent the time until then checking in on her as often as I could. Friday afternoon she told me she was really grateful that I was doing that for her. It was the last thing she ever said to me.

When I got there Saturday, she was gone. She'd left out a bunch of things that she wanted to gift or return to people. She wrote a note, apologizing to everyone in her life for not being strong enough to ask for help, telling them how much she loved them and how good they were, and a warning on the door, saying not to come in and to instead call 911. (i didn't listen. i wish i had. even then, she was trying so hard to make sure whoever found her wouldn't be hurt more than they had to).

i loved Mari from the moment i knew her well enough to see her for who she was. i've tried, in the last 6 months, to bring a little bit of her kind and thoughtful spirit into my interactions with people, and to do small things to look after the people i know she loved and cared about.

i wish things could have been different. she deserved so much better than this. so often i see things or meet people and think about - how much she would have loved them, how much i wish i could have shared them with her. i miss her so much, still. losing her was the most painful thing i've ever gone through, by far. my friends and family have been - incredibly kind and patient and loving and generous with me. i know i would be doing so much worse without them and am deeply indebted to them. i'm trying really hard to - continue being the kind of person i want to be, to have the traits that she loved in me. it's - often really hard, though it's been getting easier, bit by bit.

goodbye, Mari. i'll always love you. the world is forever diminished by your absence.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

New tawog headcanons because I have nothing to do

Leave me be

They'll never stop

- once gumball tried cheerleading with penny (this time without embarrassing himself to the judges) but honestly all he could do was jump higher than her.

He can fold like paper and yet he can't do what she can do

Unless he's stuck somewhere, because then he'd be doing backflips.

- penny and gumball met at the park actually. When they were little.

penny liked to read, instead of playing with gross and chaotic children, and gumball..just didn't like people lol

he did enjoy climbing stuff and play around but he usually left the socializing part to Darwin.

So, gumball had nothing to do so he sat down next to penny on a bench, because he was waiting for Darwin, and she was quiet so he didn't mind sitting there.

they had a small talk but nothing too big, they became small friends, then met again in middle school.

- Darwin wasn't allowed in the park for a while because he traumatized a bunch of kids before (accidentally.)

- gumball promised to not become sappy and corny like everyone whenever they got a partner but he very much failed.

- if gumball gets asked who would he want to kiss, I'd be penny, if penny wasn't an option he'd say Tobias or something

Or himself

- we all know gumball is a jealous cat, and you bet he stares down and plans multiple ways of killing whatever boy that talks to penny that he isn't sure won't try and steal her. heck he's so jealous he even tried it with Darwin!

penny has to stop him because last time it was a spirit of jealousy, this time it's gumball being clinically insane and jealous. Bad combo.

- gumball is scared of tiny spiders but he could potentially (and probably already did) pick a fist fight with a bear or a crocodile, or both.

You know those cats who chase bigger animals and those bigger guys are scared and run away? Gumball.

- Darwin is the one who pays, gumball is the one who freeloads (he has the money but doesn't wanna spend them.)

- gumball was exactly like Anais when he was 4-5, aside from Darwin he had no friends whatsoever. But it's not because no one wanted to talk to him, it's because he didn't wanna talk to anyone.

- gumball thinks Anais just needs a little bit of time to get a friend, her situation is weird and he knows that, a 4 year old around 10-12 year olds is tough but soon she'll meet someone, he's sure.

- penny likes games like animal crossing, gumball is more for the resident evil,bendy and the ink machine, amnesia, stuff like that.

but, gumball did install animal crossing (cracked because he refused to pay anything) just so penny is happy with taking care of her and his island (she makes matching and cute couple stuff, stuff like that)

- gumball talks so much about rob because he knows that if he doesn't keep reminding everyone that he exists, he'll be back in the void. And gumball feels bad about that so he tries to avoid that as much as he can.

- Darwin has to pay to watch films, games and stuff like that because then he feels bad. Gumball embraced fully the illegal sites to install games and watch films.

- gumball can speak french. And he tends to use British words rather than American ones (like biscuit or pavement.)

This is a reference to the fact that the Wattersons are a caricature of the creator of the show Ben Bocquelet and his family, and Ben is a british-french animator and director.

- gumball's favorite thing at the park is the swing, he constantly wishes for people's downfall if they come in before him to use the swing.

Darwin likes to play with sand \^_^/!

- gumball is an introvert and doesn't like going first to talk to someone, but since Darwin is too shy for it, he forces himself to go and start a convo or ask for something.

- penny was the one who talked first to gumball, if it wasn't for her getting the courage to speak to her crush, gumball wouldn't even know she existed. (Now he's down bad for her.)

- penny and gumballs dates consists on playing videogames or eating at joyful burger. They are not romantic ever

- Darwin and Carrie ARE big romantics, super romantic dates forever

Literally you can see them with flowers at the fancy ass restaurant and the super expensive clothes and gifts

- gumball when he was wayyy younger, back when he was 4-5, he scared his parents way too much.

It was because of him being aware, so he was just odd for people, but sometimes his mother just thought he was hallucinating or something.

Darwin just found it funny, but there were moments where gumball was mad scary because he sounded frickin insane.

Y'know, imagine your kid talking about being watched by an imaginary audience.

- Richard does dad jokes. Only gumball laughs at them. In return, gumball does them to Darwin.

- Richard was a pretty fun dad, he made jokes, fun games and he somewhat managed to take care of gumball and his craziness.

He's still like that, he just sleeps way more. (Much to gumball's liking.)

- Anais Is a daddy's girl. Gumball is a mom's boy (not in the toxic sense.) and Darwin is a mix of both.

-

Gumball: you're killing my tough guy personality

Penny: who's a good kitty?

Gumball: meeeeee :3

- if gumball gets too quiet he's either plotting or he's going to scream because he's too overwhelmed by people and noises. Usually the tail and ears give it away.

- penny has a very very ugly laugh. Like yeah she's gonna be loud and snort, will sound like a pig eating

Gumball doesn't mind anymore, at first it simply scared him because he would randomly hear a snort

- gumball's Saturdays consist of sunbathing all day.

- Penny's a peanut and Leslie is a flower. How is that? Especially since they are cousins.

Both flowers and peanuts grow on the ground. And for sure either Leslie's mom or dad is one of Penny's parents sibling

So let's go with, let's say. Patrick.

Patrick is a peanut, and so is Leslie's dad. their father, or mother, if not both, were flowers! (Because peanut plants do have a flower!!!)

Patrick went with another peanut, and so he had two other peanuts

Leslie's father went with a flower, and grew a flower!

(though, I'm assuming they planted different seeds. Because if they planted the same seed, Leslie would have been also a peanut. So, I imagine Leslie's mom was "infertile" and so "adopted" or had a surrogate to "give birth" [planting another seed] to her child, which was leslie. A flower.)

((yes mammals give birth, birds lay eggs, so do fish and I imagine the objects or plant directly plant the seed of their kid or ""create"" their child like the toast kid. Forgot his name, sorry HAHAH.))

- Anais and gumball are both bunnies and cats. They are a mix.

Gumball has some slight traits and behaviors of a bunny, but he's like 99% cat and 1% bunny.

Same goes for Anais.

(technically there's some rat genes around too.)

- gumball is definitely that cat that has beef with every other cat in the neighborhood

- gumball is down bad but penny is down bad harder

- people keep saying they see clear similarities between gumball and Nicole, and gumball doesn't understand if it's a good thing or not. Because usually when they say that they mean the scary part of his mother.

- Patrick doesn't hate gumball, he was simply scared for his little girl. he was scared his little girl would have ended up being heartbroken, cheated on, or worse, nothing personally against gumball, just some paranoia.

But seeing how happy they are with each other, and how happy gumball makes her, it's not something Patrick is against. As long as his daughter is happy then it's all good.

He's still skeptical about the shell though, but it's nothing about gumball.

- penny and gumball both have a pretty short temper, actually. I guess both took it from one specific parent.

- gumball used to meow loudly at his parents door so they would get up and he could tell them he threw up on the floor. (Occasionally he would do that for Darwin too.)

-

Darwin: gumball no.

Gumball: gumball yes.

Darwin: ...

Gumball: gumball no.

- (these are headcanons I have showed before, but I wanna say them again :3)

Darwin, Richard and Anais are the autism gang 😈🔥

Darwin has the + separation anxiety, and Anais Is also hyper intelligent.

Richard was hit by being babied his entire life and he doesn't have the basics.

gumball has dyslexia and dyscalculia! Along with anxiety (his human version has also amnesia. cat gumball just sleeps 16h a day.)

Nicole has anger issues. And is a workaholic.

- gumball...does not understand kisses. like, the gesture.

And it's kinda weird to do it as well, he usually just puts his face on you and that's it.

He knows it's a way to show affection, so he does it instead of his usual language (because apparently people don't get that him headbutting his own brother isn't beating him up but is actually showing affection) but he still does not get it.

He just. Mimics, per se. he mimics others who do it (like penny to him) because he knows people will get it more than his headbutting.

- penny sometimes looks up documentaries or facts about cats to understand his own boyfriend better

- yes gumball and Nicole drink like actual cats do.

- Tobias probably had some kind of thing going on with ocho. I bet.

- gumball and tina hang out every Friday!!! Sometimes you can see gumball rub himself on Tina's leg.

- gumball bites ice cream.

- Nicole's ex is masami's mom. They dated in middle school, but during the last year Nicole got feelings for Richard.

And..shit happened (nothing too angsty. Nicole and masami's mom just broke up and Nicole then went for Richard.)

Nicole bisexual arc I must say.

- gumball enjoys watching those gacha life videos.

- I did say this before but I'll say it again because it's funny af

gumball did went to that party, did got drunk and did beat the shit our of dream. Next day, all over the news. Everyone was talking about it. Every single kid in Elmore Jr high. The only one who don't know are the parents.

Darwin hates gumball for it because he came back at 3am or something, drunk, telling him the entire story

- gumball is the one who would joke about you being gay (he's gayer.)

-

Leslie: hey, I'm gay

Gumball: you owe me 5 dollars

- gumball likes to be on top of Darwin's head, like that one video of that dude screaming while he has a cat on his head.

-

Tobias: fuck

Gumball: watch your FUCKING language, man! Darwin is here.

Darwin: i

-

[leahseclipse]

Dar+ling (Emily Prentiss x f!reader)

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

Warnings: Nothing but an alarming amount of cuteness 🤭

Prompt: Person A finally confesses their feelings for B, who has wanted to do just the same for weeks

Summary: Emily finally gets the courage to confess their feelings to the reader, who has just wanted to do it too for a while.

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Doing this cute fic for @foxy-eva 's writing challenge 🥳🥳 congratulations for the 2k followers, I wish you lots of success for the future!!! (Btw this hasn't been beta'd lmao I literally wrote all of this on the Tumblr editor.......... 🫣)

It had always been absolutely no secret to everyone that Emily and I have always been quite close for the past few years, always hanging out after work, chatting for hours and hours in the break room, sitting a bit too long on each other's desks, and the list goes on and on.

We've never gone much farther than that. Not because we didn't want to, just because we didn't really talk about everything, the feelings matter, if we like each other as friends or not... It just never came up. I guess we didn't really think about it.

I've never dared to cross the line, I don't want things to end up awkward because I like her and she doesn't. But, what if she likes me too? For all I know, she could do, I don't see why not.

But, I've never asked her.

I really want to, though. The words are standing on the tip of my tongue whenever it's just the two of us, they're waiting to be said but... I don't let them out. I keep telling myself that I'll do it next time, but 'next time' ends up being delayed and on and on.

I just wish I could confess to her. Then I'd probably feel much better and everything would be fine. I really wish I could do it already. It's been weeks since I've been wanting to tell her.

I always stare at Emily's desk whether she's there or not, I just love to memorize every trait of her face, all the time. I can still imagine her sitting there even though she hasn't arrived to work yet.

I always look forward for the sound of the elevator, each morning. It might be my favorite sound after the sound of her voice. Elevator sounds being my favorite is a bit weird, but I like it because after that her arrival always follows.

And just when I turn my head, the elevator tings, and Emily is there. Her eyes meet mine and I wave at her quicky before standing up to walk up to her.

"Well someone's happy to see me today." Emily says as she opens her arms to hug me. We always sway from left to right, it's our thing.

"As always." I respond as we pull apart from each other and automatically start to walk towards our respective desks, even though she never sits at her chair first. She always goes for my desk, and I sit on my chair and look up at her in all of her beauty.

Even though we've seen each other yesterday, it's like we haven't talked in years. We chat for at least 30 minutes before realizing it's been that long.

I notice that she's been acting slightly different though, as if something has been on her mind. I wonder what happened, if I should ask about it or not while we talk.

I look around and notice that others have started to arrive. We greet them and slightly chat with them, and I start to think that it would be probably better if we moved somewhere else more private to talk.

"Hey, uh... Do you wanna go get some coffee in the break room? I haven't had any this morning and I'm starting to crave caffeine." I chuckle, and she smiles. She smiles.

We both walk away from the desk to the thankfully empty room, and I start to open up the cabinet where mugs are kept.

"Here, your mug." I say as I grab it and hand it to her, before I grab my own and close the cabinet.

"I'll pour it for you, here." She says and I set down my mug on the counter as she pours coffee in it.

"That's kind of you, thanks."

"You're welcome." She responds, and our eyes meet, just for a few seconds, then probably a bit more. It's like it's just the two of us, in a bubble, for a moment. Then she starts to chuckle, out of nowhere. It usually happens when we stare into each other's eyes for too long, I guess it's a nervous reaction. I smile to myself as she pours coffee for herself and sets the pot back on the holder.

We just stand there in silence as we drink our coffees, and neither of us seem to mind. Silent moments are precious too sometimes, I like them. Just standing by her is enough for me.

"Hey, uh..." She starts to talk but stops, as if she hesitates.

"Yeah?" I look at her but she has trouble to look at me. She seems nervous. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing bad. It's just... I've... Been thinking about something lately."

"What have you been thinking about?" I ask as we both set our empty mugs on the counter.

"You?"

"Me? What about?" I start to smile, out of nervousness.

"About the fact that I love you." I can see her exhaling a big breath after she tells the words, as if a weight has been lifted off her, and I think that I feel it too.

"You... You love me?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Well, it kinda turns out I do too." I say with a smile and she instantly seems relieved.

"You have no idea how bad I wished you did too."

"And you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. It's been... Weeks."

"It's been way too long."

"Yeah." I say, before looking behind me to see if anyone else is near, but no one is. I can hear chatting nearby, everyone is probably too busy talking.

"Why did you-" Emily starts to ask, but I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers, just for a few seconds, because someone might come.

"You'll kiss me back tonight. They'll start looking for us any time now." I say after I pull away.

Emily is breathless as she puts her hands on my arms and says, "I might kiss you before, I'm known to be bad at waiting."

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here! ❤️ Don't hesitate to drop a request if you want ☺️)

Here's my masterlist if you want to check out more of my work!

[dovabunny]

Angsty Ghostsoap Idea of the day - Here all along

Soap met Simon when the man was on leave. Beautiful, mysterious Simon had walked past Soap's coffee shop a few times, before he mustered the courage to come in.

Meanwhile, thinking the huge man must've been stalking or creeping on one of his pretty female clients, Soap had stomped out to confront the man- only for the man to awkwardly apologize and ask him to dinner. The twist gave Soap such whiplash he...

... said without realizing what was happening.

For three blissful years Simon would come home to him every chance he got, sometimes even just for 3 days between missions.

He told him things he legally was not allowed to, but Soap was his 'home' - a place where he was just Simon, not Ghost or a soldier or a killer or a victim. A man who loved with his whole heart and wanted no secrets between them. Something neither of them had ever had.

They cooked together, Simon talked him into getting a dog named Riley, they made future plans and talked about him retiring.

Then Simon comes home from a bad mission. He was put on medical leave for wounds that were not all physical but refused to talk about what had happened- what had rattled him so. He wasn't himself - cold, blunt, quick to anger, and distant in a way Soap's never seen him in their years together.

Then Simon finds the rings Soap had been hiding.

Simon had been impatiently digging through his art supplies looking for tape when he found the box.

When Soap came home from work it was to Simon sitting in the dark, the box on the table.

His home had never felt as cold as when Simon's voice demanded "what's this."

Soap fucked up, but he wasn't even sure how. He stuttered something about where did he find it when he noticed there was a pile of his sketches too - torn out of his journals, clearly not too gently. All the ones of Simon's face.

"You KNOW why I can't show my face! You KNOW how I feel about this! I refuse to take photos with you so you do this???" He tosses the sketches across the table.

"They're all I have of you when you're gone so long! I didn't-"

"And the rings!? You ALSO know how my parents' marriage went so why the fuck did you think I'd want that? Or did that just not matter either?"

Soap stares, the tension that had been on Simon's shoulders since he arrived a few days ago now turned on him. Soap swallows hard. He had never for even a second felt scared of Soap. But he saw it now... Saw 'Ghost' overtake Simon.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll burn the sketches and get rid of the rings. I'm sorry, baby. Let's just forget this?" He tries to step forward.

"This was a mistake..." Simon whispers and it feels like a knife to the gut.

"...Si, love, what are you?"

"I said this was a mistake."

Simon gets to his feet and it's then that Soap spots the packed bag. Si throws it over his shoulder as he makes for the door.

"Simon, no! Baby, please - I'm sorry! Please, don't leave like this!" He reaches for him but Si shrugs him off and doesn't slow down.

His world collapses as the door closes behind the man he had given his heart, soul, and future to.

Simon doesn't return his calls or texts. Texts apologizing, begging, texts angry and hurt, texts reminding him he's loved and he has a home here whenever he's ready.

Then the number is disconnected.

Then he gets a letter in the mail that ends with "Our deepest condolences" and a pair of dog tags.

Five years later. Soap has tried to move on, but just couldn't. He still has the rings. Wishes he kept at least one sketch. His shop does well, Riley is getting old, and so is Soap. He keeps busy, and sketches less. Even after all this time when he puts pencil to paper his hand wants to draw Simon.

Then torn, crumpled pages on the floor with boot prints on them flash in his mind and he puts the pencil back down.

This morning he sat in his little kitchen and pages through the local paper when he feels his blood run cold.

Last week's festival was the highlight of the moment, the newspaper covered in photos taken at the event. But in the background of one looms a painfully familiar figure.

Soap grabs his phone and rings the paper. "Photo three, page two- at the fountain - when was that taken?!" The journalist is baffled - all of them last week.

That can't be. It can't be! But he knows that figure, those shoulders, those curls. he's in the shadows but outlined, angled towards where Soap's little trailer stand was.

Soap pulls the dog tags out of his shirt - always around his neck all this time. Is Simon.. alive?

And...near?

Soap looks at the shadows all the way to work, peeking around all day to try to spot a man that shouldn't be there - convincing himself he isn't crazy.

At closing time he had enough. He prints a page and sticks it to the door when he locks up.

"Si, if you're reading this grow a pair and come home."

Later that night there's a knock at the door. A familiar tall man, new scars and silver creeping into blind curls, but just as beautiful as he remembers. Unsteady hands hold a bouquet of his favorite flowers.

"Is this still home?" He asks

"Ours. Always." Soap smiles through the tears.

[msanonymous]

I only bake when I'm happy, a little terrified at the idea of messing things up if I did it, otherwise. Maybe this explains why I haven't touched my baking appliances in months. But I had a happy dream a few days ago, in which me and mother were baking together, just like old times, and when I woke up I felt like I was 5 again, and my kitchen looked the same as it did 12 years ago.

There's this beautiful teal dress hanging in my almirah that I've saved for some special occasions. But now that I think about it, there are no occasions that are special enough to make me happy, they just cause anxiety.

I haven't gone on walks in weeks, because the sky is always gray these days and the sun has not shone in weeks, and I'm afraid that the not-so pleasant weather wouldn't help the weather in my heart, the way streets in the spring used to.

I want to learn photography some day, properly. So that whenever the next time I see someone I love happy, or anyone per se, I could capture them in photographs, perfectly. I wish I could carry my camera all around the world and just click the shutter button at the perfect time. I wish the next time I see my friends laughing, my parents talking happily in the lawn while having tea, reunion hugs of strangers at the airports, someone feeding a stray cat with the biggest and genuine smile on their face, an old couple in the park talking slowly about their past which was filled with happy moments, I could freeze all those moments in photographes just so I could revisit those memories, when I'm wide awake at 3am, with my numb heart.

I wish I could have those happy, lively photographes of those lovely humans to stare at, instead of my plain white ceiling. And those nights I'd tell myself “It doesn't matter if happiness is not with me, it's fine as long as it's with people I love, it's fine by me, as long as I know it exists in some corners of this Earth. Maybe I just need to visit those corners some day and until then I'll survive by seeing those people living. Happily.”

But the clock on my desk is ticking, fast. And I don't know how much more time I have here. And I don't want that dream to come true. In which I was about to take my last breath, and I saw happiness standing in the doorway with her tear streaked face, and I asked her “Why didn't you ever come to me?” and she replied with her soft and tortured voice, “Why didn't you ever look for me?”

So maybe I should just say “Screw it.” and buy a camera anyway, who cares if those photos aren't professional enough? Who cares if they're all blurry because of my shaky hands? They'll still be filled with happiness, which would be enough to make my heart happy. Maybe I should wear that dress tomorrow, and my other favourite dress the day after tomorrow. So what if my house hasn't hosted a visitor in weeks, I should be ready, like in my favourite character's words “Dress as if you're gonna meet the love of your life today.” From tomorrow I'll dress as if I'm gonna meet happiness. I'll go on walks even if the sky is gray, maybe I'll see a tiny plant who's surviving the storms, blooming despite the rains. Sometimes a single flower is enough, right? More than enough I think. Maybe I should pluck up the courage to ask my mother to join me. The next time I bake, maybe I'll feel happy, the same way I did when I was 5. Maybe I have to stop waiting for happiness to come to me, I should go search for it instead. Maybe it'll eventually come to me, when I'll try doing those things.

And maybe on my last day here, I'll see her in my doorway, smiling, unlike that dream, and she'll bid me goodbye with tears of happiness, and everything will be good about that goodbye.

[jakeyzzz]

♡ I think I'd die for you ♡

🍁 angst/fluff 🍁 sim jaeyun x f!reader headcanon

⚠️🍁 warnings - swearing, yelling, crying, friends with benefits trope, angst, kissing, making out, hugging, jake being SO in love, confessions, so much fluff, jake with wet hair 🤭 ⚠️🍁

🌸 lmk if I missed anything!! 🌸

english is NOT my first language so please be nice !! ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

☀️ 935 words ☀️

,,Y/N please just open the fucking Door I'm sorry okay ?!" Jake shouted from the outside of your House as he banged on the door over and over again . You and Jake got into a pretty heated argument a few days ago which made you stop talking. Jake started regretting every single Word he said to you and eventually came to your house so he could apologize. But you didn't let him. He really hurt you with his words. But he didn't give up, even though he was drenched in water since it was raining pretty heavily. Your relationship with Jake has always been super complicated. You weren't dating, but you most definitely weren't only friends either. He was your first in everything. Your first Kiss, Your first Time, Your first best Friend , Your first Crush. But you never had the courage to talk about your Feelings. And you never planned on talking about your feelings. Especially not after that Argument. But there you are sitting in your living room, listening to Jake literally yelling in front of your door. You could hear that he is crying, but so were you. You were both hurt. And you both missed each other like crazy. ,,Y/N please...I'm so sorry. I know you can hear me. I didn't mean to hurt you please let me talk to you" He said, crying even harder than before. After some Moments of thinking, you finally got up from your couch to open the door. Your eyes immediately met with Jake's puffy ones. You couldn't help but softly smile at him.

,,Y/N..." He whispered before quickly pulling you into a hug. His clothes were completely wet due the Rain... but you let him hug you. ,,I'm so sorry I promise ! I didn't mean what I said to you" He said quietly. You looked at him and softly took his Hand before you led him to your bedroom. ,,Please sit down and wait here for a few Minutes...I'll get you some dry clothes" You said. But before you could leave,he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. ,,Can we please talk first ?" Jake asked you. You nodded your head, and eventually sat down on your bed next to him. Jake tried to smile at you. He felt really bad. ,,Listen...I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could explain how much you mean to me. You make me feel Things i've never felt before and I don't even know what made me say those Things. You deserve better. I guess I'm just scared of you know...getting hurt ? And fuck i really hate talking about my feelings but...I think i fell in love with you Y/N. The last few days without you were so hard for me and I really hope I didn't fuck up...and I hope you'll forgive me. I would love to spend every single day of my life with you. But I promise it's okay If you don't feel the same way... everything is fine as long as you're still in my life. " Jake said with tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. Well damn. You could see how scared Jake was. He was so scared of your reaction. And you didn't even know what to say. You just somehow ended up staring at Jake's puffy Lips. You missed them so much. You missed the way they felt , and the way Jake smiled into the Kiss when you softly stroked his Cheek with your thumb. How couldn't you just notice how deeply in love he was ?? . The way he touched you said more than a million words ever could. And whenever Jake couldn't see you, he called you and asked you about your day. He would always give you Roses, He comforted you when you felt sad, And he would always make sure to take care of you. He was always there for you. ,,Jake i..." You tried to form a sentence...but for some reason you couldn't. So you decided to show him what you felt instead. You grabbed his Face and immediately pulled him into the most passionate Kiss. Jake pulled you onto his Lap as your Fingers got tangled in his wet locks. The way Jake softly caressed your waist while he deepened the Kiss drove you crazy. You guys shared a lot of Kisses before, but this one felt special. You could feel Jake's Love...and you're pretty sure Jake knows about your Feelings for him too by now. Jake softly broke the Kiss. ,,I need you to be my girl so badly" Jake whispered against your Lips. You softly smiled. ,,I'll be yours If you kiss me again" you said. Jake didn't waste one second and pulled you back in to give you another deep kiss. Jake felt you smiling against his Lips,which made him giggle. ,,I think I'd die for you" He said, staring into your eyes. You caressed his cheeks. He loved when you did that. ,,Well I think I love you" You answered. ,,I know I love you" Jake said, smiling at you before pressing a soft kiss on your Forehead. This Moment felt so right. You suddenly started smirking. Jake knew, that you were about to say something that will ruin the Moment. ,, I can't believe you're on my bed with your wet ass clothes with me on your lap" You joked, which made Jake laugh pretty hard. He carefully kissed the Tip of your Nose before trying to get up. And that's how your relationship as an actual couple started. ♡

[chiveburger]

this last week leading up the chinese new years has been such a crazy whirlwind of emotions... I made a post maybe on tuesday? saying that I was starting to feel very burnt out at work and I went into that day dreading every second. I got to work and I started crying, and mind you I've been in some abusive workplaces and I have never once cried at work. anytime someone asked me if I was okay, I couldn't control my emotions and I started sobbing. It was so hard, and I came to the conclusion that I'm really struggling to work with my manager. especially in regards to her micromanaging, and inserting herself into tasks that the staff are doing, and creating this suffocating energy whenever I work with her.

I've never once felt that out of control so come wednesday I told her I had to speak with her one to one. I sat down with her, and basically cleared the air about how her management style is killing me. how it's making me doubtful of my own work, and how there are things I want to be changed not even just about her but about how our company is ran... I know this seems real self destructive to some people but holy shit I am so glad 1) I had the guts to put myself in this vulnerable position and 2) was able to hold it together during the entire conversation. my intention going into that meeting wasn't to hurt her feelings, it wasn't to break her spirit and I am not and cannot expect her to change her personality and work ethics overnight. I don't want her to stop working here because of this, but I know if I want to continue working here (and for the meantime I do) I can't sweep this under the carpet and suffer and bottle everything up until I experience another panic attack in public.

ever since that talk, which was only a couple days ago, the following days where we have to work together has been yes, a little awkward, but I can feel her putting in the effort not to overstep my boundaries. she doesn't interrupt me, she doesn't have input on how I interact with patients and with regular office duties. which I really appreciate and shows me that this is a sign of them giving a shit about my feelings. everyone I talked to regarding this situation has been like "wow I could never have done that" and the fact of the matter is it's not just me. I'm not someone who likes being confrontational, and I'm not someone who always wishes to speak on my feelings. If I didn't care about my job, about my manager, and if I didn't feel like change could occur I wouldn't even consider talking to her. If I didn't feel comfortable to open up to her I wouldn't have. on my part it did take a lot of courage to do that but similarly, if the other side didn't reciprocate some form of energy that made me WANT to do it I would've just handed in my resignation.

long story short, I felt negative emotions so strong that I couldn't swallow them up any longer and they physically came out even before I realized I was in pain. I don't expect everything at work to be perfect or to have changed to my liking by tomorrow. what I am hoping is that there's a step in the direction of change and I'd like to think by acting on my feelings I've made my life better.

[miffy-junot]

Felix Yusupov on his last visit to Rasputin before the murder

Each time I went to see Rasputin I loathed myself; these visits had become an almost unbearable torture. Shortly before Dmitri and Purishkevich returned,* I went to see him again. He was in a very good temper. "Why are you in such good spirits?" I asked. "Because I've just made a really good deal. Matters will soon come to a head, and it'll be our turn to rejoice." "What is it all about?" I inquired. "What's it all about? What's it all about?" repeated Rasputin mimicking me. "You're afraid of me," he continued, "and that's why you've stopped coming to see me. And yet, I have lots of interesting things to tell you... well, I won't, because you're frightened of me and frightened of everything. If you had more courage, I'd have told you everything." I tried to explain that I was cramming for an examination at the Corps des Pages and that this took up all my time; that was the reason for my apparent neglect. But I could not convince him. "I know, I know... you're afraid, and your parents won't allow you to come here. Your mama is hand in glove with [Grand Duchess] Elisabeth, isn't she? And they both have but one thought: to send me away from here. They won't succeed, indeed they won't, no one will listen to them; they're much too fond of me at Tsarskoe Selo."

"Grigori Yefimovich, your behavior at Tsarskoe Selo is quite different from what it is elsewhere. You only talk of God there, and that's why you're believed in and loved." "And why shouldn't I talk to them about God, my dear fellow? They are very pious and such talk pleases them... They understand everything, forgive everything and appreciate me. It's not the least use running me down to them, for no matter what is told them they don't believe a word of it. I have often said to them: 'You'll see that I'll be slandered. Remember then how Christ was persecuted. He too suffered for the sake of truth.' They listen to everyone, but they act only according to the dictates of conscience. As for him," continued Rasputin, "whenever he leaves Tsarskoe Selo, he listens to everything that wicked people tell him; I've had a lot of trouble with him lately. I try to make him understand that he must put an end to this butchery. 'All men are brothers,' I tell him. 'Does it matter whether they are French or German?' But I can do nothing with him. He doggedly repeats that he'd be 'ashamed' to sign a peace. And what is there to be ashamed of, when it means the salvation of his brothers? He is about to send more men to their death, thousands of them. That is what he should be ashamed of. She is a good and wise woman. But what does he understand? He hasn't the makings of an emperor. He's just one of God's children. What I fear is that the Grand Duke Nikolai Nikolaievich** will make difficulties for us if he hears anything. But thank God, he's far away and he isn't powerful enough to get at us. The Tsarina saw the danger and he was sent as far away as possible to prevent his meddling." "In my opinion," I replied, "it was a great blunder to relieve the Grand Duke of his command. The whole of Russia worships him. The Army should not have been deprived of its beloved chief at a time like this." "Don't give yourself airs, my dear boy. The decision was made because it was necessary, and a very good thing too." Rasputin rose and began striding up and down, muttering. He stopped suddenly rushed up to me and seized my hand. His expression became every strange: "Come with me to the gypsies," he said. "If you'll come, I'll tell you everything, down to the smallest detail." I consented, but at that moment the telephone rang: Rasputin was summoned to Tsarskoe Selo. Taking advantage of his disappointment at not going to see the gypsies with me, I invited him to spend an evening with me soon, at the Moika.*** He had long wished to meet my wife. Believing her to be in St. Petersburg, and knowing that my parents were in the Crimea, he accepted my invitation. The truth was that Irina was also in the Crimea, but I thought Rasputin would be more likely to accept my invitation if he thought he had a chance of meeting her.

Dmitri and Purishkevich returned from the front some days later, and it was agreed that I should invite Rasputin to the Moika on the evening of December 29. He accepted on the understanding that I would come for him myself and take him home afterward. He told me to come up the back stairs and said he would notify the janitor that someone would come for him at midnight. The simple way in which he consented to everything, and even went out of his way to make things easier for me, horrified and surprised me.

*Grand Duke Dmitri Pavlovich and Vladimir Purishkevich, two of Yusupov's fellow conspirators, were at the Eastern Front. it was only after their return that the murder plot could proceed.

**Grand Duke Nikolai Nikolaievich was the head of the Russian army until he was relieved of his position and sent to the Caucasian front in 1915.

***the Yusupov palace on the Moika canal, where the murder would take place.

source: Lost Splendour by Felix Yusupov, chapter 22

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

[lieslab]

I need some serious comfort from my situation and I feel like im overthinking it

I go to church and obviously have friends but I dont go much and it is pretty random when I go and this time so I greet my friend and he heads over to his spot to sit and I turn around and watch him and j feel like her gave me a look of disgust but im not 100% sure and then when church was over ahen we were outside I was with my other friend and the same dude and her were talking and I felt like invisible to them and then I went to my other friend and now I just feel like im not important to them at all or im just a hassle and i have been at the church since LIKE FIRST KR SECOND GRADE AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I DONT BELONG, and going through my memories when we were doing a competition between one vs one, non of my friends (were all friends and there is many) were cheering for me and they were cheering for my other friend, and that was before I went to church randomly at times, now I feel like I dont belong

So if you can, can you write a ot8 friend group where they never make anyone feel left behind and they are always worried when one of them arent with them (me ofc but if you can, can you use the name Vanesa if nor just use y/n it is fine) and like they make me/her feel like she belongs and not (…wanting to die or disappear to another reality) but yeah, and to mention for ideas in where settjng is, I like the beach (when nobody is there) and when it is raining or thundering (not when im outside cause you can het struck by lighting) and I like the midnight but not creepy midnight and stars (jellyfish etc)

So yeah idk if this is too much but heres some extra if you wish to add more

Like from afair my friends are there just watching how happy I am and are confused (I dont think they leave me out or make me feel that way on purpose I hope) why I so happy with StrayKids and not so much with them since im mostly have a blank expression

For the group we are like messing around singing and/or dancing and being unhinged but caring and PLEASE HUGS AND HUGS AND HUGS and like not immediately into the ff but put where I(or y/n) confesses why she is sad and they comfort her and shit

Sorry if this is to much

Life can be really complicated sometimes and sometimes our brains tend to make us feel really insecure. It's easy to overthink at times and it can be quite the challenge to come back from. Whether your friends like you or not, I'm not sure. I do know, however, that you should feel really comfortable with your friends. Whenever I'm friends with people, I only surround myself with people I feel happy with. If a person is super negative or just has an off feeling, I try to steer clear of them.

Friendships can be complex and I think I'd approach this by talking to your friends. Sometimes if you just take a deep breath and go "hey, I've been feeling a little insecure lately" and if you open up and talk to your friends, I think that would help you understand their viewpoint.

If my friends came up to me and announced that they're not sure how I feel about them, I'd happily reassure them that I like them. Anxiety can be stressful and overthinking the situations only makes you feel SO much worse.

I know it's difficult to do that and work up the courage, but on the other hand, if you don't do that and you ignore it, you're just going to continue to work yourself up mentally and stress yourself out. Plus, if you start doing it now, sometimes it can lead into conversations with your friends about mental health and those are important.

I think with friendships, you should be able to freely discuss those topics. Friendships are different for everyone, but healthy conversations are so important, I can't stress it enough. I've had a few times in my life when I ruined friendships when I should have just spoken up about things I disliked or wanted clarification on instead of running away.

I wish I could have told my younger self to speak up. It's totally okay to speak up!! Sometimes that's the only way we know what the people around us are truly thinking.

As for the request, I usually make things gender neutral because I like it when everyone is able to read and enjoy my work, but yeah, I can do that. It might take a bit, but yes. I'll make it take place on the beach and it'll have some funny moments, I think. Super fluffy and something lighthearted and fun <3

[giolovesyousm]

okay so I just discovered that chat gpt can write fanfiction...and for science I had to try, this is what it came up with

Comfort and angst.

Neil and Todd had always been close, even since their days at Welton Academy. As they grew older and went off to separate colleges, they still kept in touch, texting and calling each other frequently. But lately, something had changed between them. Neil couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whenever he talked to Todd, he felt a strange mix of comfort and angst.

One night, as they were catching up over the phone, Neil finally mustered up the courage to ask Todd about it.

"Todd, I don't know how to say this, but...I feel like something's different between us. Have you felt it too?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Todd finally spoke.

"I know what you mean, Neil. I've been feeling it too. It's like...I don't know, there's something we're both holding back."

Neil nodded, even though Todd couldn't see him. "Yeah, exactly. Like we're both afraid to say what's really on our minds."

Todd took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll start. Neil, I miss you. I know we talk all the time, but it's not the same as being able to see you in person, you know? And...I'm worried about you. You've been going through a tough time lately and I wish I could be there for you more."

Neil's heart swelled with emotion. He had been going through a rough patch, but he hadn't realized how much Todd cared until now.

"Todd, I miss you too. And...I'm scared. Scared of what the future holds, scared that I'll never be happy again. But talking to you always makes me feel better. You're my best friend, Todd. I don't know what I'd do without you."

There was a long pause before Todd spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "Neil...there's something else I need to tell you."

Neil's heart raced as he waited for Todd to continue.

"I...I love you, Neil. More than just a friend. I don't know when it happened or why, but I can't stop thinking about you."

Neil was stunned. He had never considered that Todd might feel that way about him, but now that he heard the words, it all made sense. He had always felt a special connection to Todd, but he had never dared to hope that it was anything more.

"Todd...I don't know what to say. I never thought of you in that way before, but now that you've said it, I realize that maybe I do feel the same way. I've been so caught up in my own head that I didn't even realize what was right in front of me."

There was a long silence as they both processed what had just been said.

"Neil...do you think we could...try this? See where it goes?"

Neil felt a smile spread across his face. "Yes, Todd. I want to try. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I want to be with you."

They talked for hours more that night, laughing and crying and sharing their hopes and fears. And as they hung up, both of them felt a sense of comfort and angst. Comfort in knowing that they had each other, and angst in knowing that they had taken a step into unknown territory. But they were both willing to take that risk, because they knew that their love for each other was worth it.

[thetinylittlespider]

GTWAC 15! LORE!!!!!!!!

BEFORE WE START! A LIL' DISCLAIMER!

Okay, so...Life got hard, not gonna lie. Phone is busted so that's another thing. And I don't think I'll ever finish #GTWAC before the month ends as I planned. (15 minutes as I'm typing this)

So, did I failed the speedrun I self-imposed myself with? Yes, Yes I did. And I'd like to end it with a self indulgent thingy. Besides, I will do some prompts from GTWAC at one point because I can fit them in my stories. Uvu

Did I had fun? Of frickin course I did! I've seen some new cool faces I wish to talk to one day (Whenever I get the courage and dont act like a coward, or if you want to hit my dms go ahead give me heart attack I would love to meet new friends quq)

And all in all, I liked to see how everyone joined these activities and had their own fun with it, thanks again to @entomolog-t for having this marvelous idea to give writers this month full of spotlights! and...Without further words from me....We go into some lore I guess!

Insert lore here: (From my main and only story atm)

KU-M9's inconvenient "skin condition.": He can not fluster like normal people do, and his "jumping spider" and "crab spider" genetics do something about it. When in a condition worth of fluster, his entire skin changes to a mess of random colors and pretty patterns, in an attempt of being attractive to the one he could feel love for, this ability of course...is yet to be seen, and completely involuntary.

The boy is carnivorous: As I have stated in one ask...The boy is designed for hunting and killing, his fangs are fully functional and he needs raw meat to survive and keep a sane mental state, no matter how much he refuses to it.

Caffeine is bad for him: An advance metabolism makes him immune to most shapes and forms of alcoholic beverages, but caffeine just shuts down most of his body and mental functions, getting him drunk! Even a few grains of the substance in a glass of water can cause severe impact on his body. Effects he rather forget the next morning.

World of Wonders: The world the story is being set in, is really...really small. Just the size of a big city with a small area of forest and limited sea. Surrounded by a shield of energy that prevents ANYONE from leaving or entering. In here, you can find to the most advanced technology to the weirdest of magic, is like every single living being here was pulled off from a different place. Is not always you can see a doctor with mechanical enhacements perform a ritual of healing and make it work thanks to a local benevolent spirit...yes, that stuff happens here! But dont be afraid! The great leader makes sure nobody doubts the status quo of things! UvU

[soullikethesea]

T session (long)

Man, T is really good. I'm really happy with how she showed up for me today.

On the way there I got super nervous and kind of dissociated. T noticed pretty quickly and she gave me some paper and pencils to draw a "feeling thermometer" if I wanted to. We ended up talking a bit about the tension, T said she could feel it in the air and as a pressure on her chest. I explained that I think my body knows that therapy is a place that's often very upsetting and so it kind of already gets upset beforehand and we talked about the window of tolerance a bit more.

Eventually I mentioned that it may help to talk about animals and that really did help a lot. I said that maybe I need to make a list of subjects like that again and T said that in those moments it's also hard for her to come up with subjects because she kind of gets sucked in with me.

When we got going, T asked for feedback. She asked about the reenactment I've been feeling and how it relates to her. I explained and I think there's still a lot to talk about in the future... she said she also is insecure about if therapy can continue next year (based on insurance) and that I can see that she's also getting a bit older. And she admitted that she hasn't had the same bandwidth lately as she usually has.

I noticed that I got a bit afraid from her saying those things and therefore shied away from discussing it further, though she did say that she will focus on the things she can control and that we are both doing the very best we can.

I shared the new list of goals for therapy I made last week. It has some goals about the relationship, such as gaining the ability to be comforted, and then also some wishes for coping skills and trauma work. T said that she recognized each goal as something that we're already working on somewhat and reiterated that she thinks we're on the right path.

When I came in I saw that she'd placed The Courage to Heal (a book) on the couch where I usually sit. It's a book that I mentioned to her and that she immediately bought... I have a feeling that this move of placing it on the couch was intentional, because she also mentioned two times that I make good book suggestions and that even her colleagues also find them useful. At some point in the past we had a rupture about this (I asked her to read a book and she said she wasn't sure she wanted to specialize in complex dissociation), so it means a lot to me that eventually she did. And it also means a lot that she seems to look at it differently now and seems to appreciate this side of me somehow.

Then I mentioned what happened last week with Fox and fox. I talked about the things I learned about fox and T said she thought it sounded really calvinistic and sadistic. She wondered out loud what the purpose could be of such a controlling and purposefully confusing part and she said that perhaps it is about not wanting to be a victim anymore and about thinking/realizing being unhelpful when you're stuck in an unescapable situation.

She asked me how I felt in my body and I very vaguely said that I felt "lines", which made T very curious. So then I drew a body and coloured what I felt (which is MUCH easier than trying to describe it). T said that it looked like what you would feel if you were in flight and tried to hide it.

We spoke more about containment and my associations around it and why it doesn't work. (The associations with trying to seem as normal as possible and "keeping it locked inside").

Eventually I also said that I found her invitation to message her very very confusing last week and asked her not to do that again. I'd rather have things be very clear.

I also asked if I could record sessions in the future, because I miss so much of what she says whenever I get triggered. She immediately said yes, but also seemed scared. So we spoke about that for a bit and she admitted she was scared, but also thinks it's a good idea.

She said the first step will be to listen to my body more in our sessions. She didn't say this explicitly, but I got the sense that we will work on making things a bit more gentle.

I'm still scared about insurance and all that, but also feel hopeful about working together.

[odash17]

Favourite Numbers :)

"Did you know that if you can't stop your stream of thought at night, you can just write them down and think about it in the morning? It puts your mind at ease and you can sleep faster that way," I told him while staring at my fingers.

I wanted to stop talking because I felt like I was embarrassing myself. I had no idea if he has finally noticed that I only did that whenever I got nervous. That I'd just find some weird psychological fact when I didn't wanna start fidgeting.

"Really? And you've tried it before? And it worked?" he queried, seeming extremely interested like he always was.

"Yeah, I have and yes, it does. It gives your mind the reassurance that you can have that thought later when you wake up," I explained and raised my eyes to his.

I liked how his interest and casual conversation with him made my nerves die down.

"Where do you write? Like a notepad or something?" He asked after a brief moment of silence.

"Anywhere really. But I mostly write them as notes on my phone," I stated and before I knew it, I was taking out my phone, unlocking it, pulling up the app and showing him what I meant.

"Fifty-two notes," he said with a tinge of shock in his voice.

"I clean them out every week. Those are since last Thursday," I mumbled but almost immediately regretted saying that.

" 'I think burgers are weird. Why do they have both cooked and raw ingredients? It should decide whether it's cooked food or not already'," I watched as a smile slowly spread across his face.

He was getting in my head (quite literally) but I didn't mind at all.

" 'Am I the only one who wakes up and goes back to bed until the clock hit exactly seven just to go back to sleep after grabbing a snack on Saturdays?' " he chuckled at that one then added, "no you're not."

" 'I think Jax is an amazing person. He's kind and generous and has a lot more things than I can't type out right now. I hope I one day gather enough courage to tell him that," he said nothing in response to what he read, and didn't spare me a glance.

He just tapped his way to the next note while trying to fight the smile that was undoubtedly forming on his face.

" 'Jax has the most intriguing smile I've ever come across. I'm not exactly sure what's so interesting about it. All I know is I hope to one day to kiss the lips that form that smile'," his voice got quieter as he went through the words.

His eyes finally met mine and I sucked in a slow and really quiet breath at the intensity of his eyes.

I'd pay a million bucks to know what he was thinking.

But I didn't have to.

"The feeling's mutual," he muttered.

I froze.

But melted then evaporated when he suddenly leaned forward and... granted my wish.

Note number thirty-two.

My new favourite number.

.

.

.

>•<

My first random. Hopefully, first of many.

Not sure if it's gonna be part of anything bigger.

If there's any similar work anywhere, it is by pure coincidence.

Please do not copy my work

And do enjoy 😉