panapanapana

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Maybe this therapy shit is working

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I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am

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Sorry, cops. You couldn't have found your shooter because my friend Luigi Mangione was here at my apartment all the way across the state the entire day on December 4 giving me the Hot Dickings. This absolute saint of a man and his magical male parts just turned me Completely Heterosexual right in time to not be affected by Project 2025. This is official.

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This is fantastic.

In high school, before I realized I was Big Gay, two super hot butch classmates of mine (who were also not out because 2003 in the Midwest) took me aside and quietly asked me if I was going to play powder puff football that year. I unintentionally gave them the gayest possible answer -- "I'm not interested since I found out it isn't tackle football." They looked at each other with a Knowing Look and walked away. I didn't realize what I had said was super WLW until this year.

my actual coming out story is in fifth grade a guy named asa was like "hey are you a faggot" and i was like what's that 😨 and he was like "it means you like boys" and i was like ohhhhh then yes ☺️ and then i got home from school and was like hey mom guess what i am ☺️

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The thing about dog temperaments is, labradors are playful and happy-go-lucky kind of creatures that don't really take anything too seriously, they're just jolly and mushy, cheerful creatures that are chill with everyone and eager to please. Poodles, however, have zero chill, highly intelligent, need a job to do or they will invent one, take everything dead seriously and are the only dog in the "top 10 dogs most likely to fight god" list that isn't a terrier.

And now, it may seem tempting to think "hey what if we could get a dog that's as chill and cheery as a labrador but as dutiful and law-abiding as a poodle." Just like it was tempting to think "hey what if we could get a bee that's as honey-productive as an african killer bee, but human friendly like domestic bees?"

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Yes. All gay trans men should consider the name GOLF because "Gents Only Ladies Forbidden" is gonna be a great pickup line for y'all.

if you're transgender and need name ideas, may I direct you toward the nato alphabet because like. delta? november?? echo?? romeo is like the butchest name. please consider foxtrot. being named whiskey would be cool as hell. I know multiple transmascs who were a bit too into english lit and are named victor now. I've met people named sierra who were trans in every direction. maybe don't name yourself golf

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And sometimes you need to say it out loud too. As bluntly as necessary to make people not nervous about your presence.

I'm a middle aged white woman. As I grow out my hair from having shaved my head I have a very stereotypical Karen looking silhouette so I'm read as A White Woman. My younger son's afternoon school bus stop is outside a smoke shop. They were getting real nervous about me showing up there every day until I made a point of telling them it's just my son's bus stop and I don't care if their customers are smoking PCP on the corner so long as nobody's eating any faces. We're cool now.

a big part of Killing The Cop In Your Head that even a lot of ostensibly progressive adults absolutely do not want to do is controlling the urge to judge children at every opportunity. like oh are some kids hanging out skateboarding in the No Skateboarding Zone at the park? it becomes your business if one runs over your foot. otherwise shut the fuck up. and not just outwardly, you need to tell the critical voice in your head "actually this harmless moment of someone else's everyday life has nothing to do with me and no one has asked for my opinion"

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One of my favorite pastimes is shitposting on my local moms group on the book of faces. Today a bunch of them were asking for ideas for a side hustle they could do from home while the kids are asleep. I suggested furry art. Giggled at myself, left.

Reopened it later to a ton of them asking what furry art is. I explained it as "humanoid animals, sometimes in pornographic situations" and referred them all to Fur Affinity. Giggled harder at myself, left again.

Reopened it later to find that one of them feels that I didn't fully answer their question about what furry art is. Lord help me before I link her E621 and get my trolling ass tossed from the group.

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My God, yes. My first experience using computers was with a Commodore 64. The first one I actually had at home used Windows 3.1. I've been salty ever since so-called upgrades made it so I had to log into admin functions separately.

I consider myself far from a power user but holy shit that seems to be a lower bar each year.

Hell, it was nearly ten years ago now that I was working in state government and when they needed any image manipulation done for training manuals I'd be the one to do it because I knew how to use the snipping tool and MS Paint. They'd forbid me from using macros in Excel because my boss thought they were "cheating". I had to show them keyboard shortcuts. My eighth grader reports that he's the only one in his class who even knows what any of that stuff means and they think he's magic when he does it.

And yet I'm still too intimidated to switch to Linux.

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.

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"Mashatatoes wif hangaburger graybee" was my favorite and also one of the first meals I requested when I could barely speak so the tiny toddler pronunciation was retained.

Instant mashed potatoes, so there will be no lumps. About a pound of ground beef cooked and seasoned with salt, pepper, and dried minced onion. Don't drain the grease, add a packet or two of basic brown gravy mix prepared according to instructions. If you had canned corn or canned peas to mix in with it and a slice of white bread to dip in it you were Truly Living the Good Life, but it didn't need them.

Hey guys be cool and normal but reblog this with the homemade meal that would get you the most hyped as a child. I need it for reasons.

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Cat for attention.

In the interest of harm reduction, I'll send free foot pics to any US voter who voted Harris.

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Reblog to spread awareness.

We toured the place we currently live in when I was pregnant with the triplets. We were in a big hurry to move out of the place we were in because it was full of lead based paint, the entire apartment only ran on two electric circuits so the power blew out constantly, there was a mouse infestation, and the downstairs neighbor's daughter had recently moved in and had nasty habits of stealing our shit and of leaving her used needles scattered around outside.

I didn't realize how low our standards were until the property manager showed us a small, dark, windowless room and my spouse and I were both like "hmm, well, this third bedroom is smaller than we were hoping for" and "but it'll fit one crib in it, I guess, and the other two babies can have cribs in our room since it's so huge" and the man looked us right in the eye and "Seriously? This. Is. A. Closet. You haven't seen the other two bedrooms yet. We have got to get you out of the place you're in."

Fun Fact, if a floor plan has a weirdly large storage room, that's actually likely an illegal bedroom because it can't be legally called a bedroom without a window

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My younger son is 4. He goes to and from preK on the bus. His morning and afternoon stops are kitty corner from each other on the street, and the afternoon one is directly outside a little corner shop called Da Munchies. I find it endlessly amusing that he tells everyone "I get off at the munch".

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This "Mom complex" is something I've been confronted with hard recently.

My spouse has ADHD and physical disabilities. We have three kids. The oldest is a 13 year old boy with AuDHD. The twins are 4, a boy (waiting on ASD diagnosis) and a girl (diagnosed ASD, suspected ADHD). While I am disabled also, I'm more physically capable of doing the housework than my spouse is. The combination of their ADHD and my OCD means I notice and do things before they even begin to notice things. The kids need a lot of attention. So our division of labor is that I do the housework and they're the driver of the family and the point person for the daily child care. We split the cooking.

But that's apparently not evident to our daughter. While her twin brother is excited to grow up, she has maintained for a while now that she wants to stay small. I finally got the reason out of her the other day: she doesn't want to be the one responsible for everything. Broke my fucking heart. I need to be much more explicit about division of labor and I need to be teaching my kids to notice and do things.

i think this is probably true of every office, but there's a middle aged woman working in business who doesn't hold any particular place in the chain of command but is Sovereign. i was running support and she has access to more secure network drives than i do. im pretty sure she has an admin account. i was having trouble with my parking pass and my boss just said to talk to kristen- one day later i had parking in any garage on campus. she's not even in charge of parking in our building

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Idfk how people can just recreational benadryl. I take a standard adult dose and it knocks me the fuck out -- but if I happen to wake up before it's worn off I'm absolutely insane. Highlights include:

(1) the time I told my mother in law that I didn't need her money to buy our car a new set of tires because I had some underwear that were too large for me and I could just sell them to fetishists. My spouse had to pretend to eat my phone to prevent me from making a verification post on Reddit to do so.

(2) the time I was convinced that wagon wheel pasta was replacing our mitochondria, literally getting in our cells, and causing the Incel Epidemic so I demanded we start a change.org petition to ban the pasta shape while messily eating a cheeseburger and licking the ketchup. That one's on my spouse's YouTube.