#i wish i wouldn't hate my old art
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yes, Solas is still playing the guitar and somehow he turned into a rockstar?? Look at the stickers on his sunburst guitar, he’s so adorable 🫴🏽✨💜
(Thank you, John Epler, for reminding me of my old art 🥺)
Old versions from 3-4 years ago below the cut in a Bluesky post 🫶🏽
https://bsky.app/profile/larkoneironaut.bsky.social/post/3kz5heapl4d2k
#dragon age#bioware#my art#da4#dai#dragon age inquisition#solas#solavellan#dread wolf#fenharel#i wish i wouldn't hate my old art#i wish i wouldn't criticize it and make it look bad before anyone else can 🧍🏽♀️#anyway here's the new version i like very much 💜#thanks Epler Sir for saying that - i was close to tears btw haha definitely made my day
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
So here's the deal:
I just want to be transparent with my tumblr Rothko lovers. I applied and got fiscal sponsorship as a non-profit through Fractured Atlas.
Sadly, "Fiscal Sponsorship" is not what it sounds like, I pay them, they don't pay me. What it allows me to do is take donations and make them tax deductible and secure. I hope it's worth it.
I don't expect my poor pals on tumblr to donate, I don't think most of us have any money or we probably wouldn't be here, however, I am letting you know this because there's now a donate button on the blog.
I'm very poor and needed to do this to realize certain projects Rothko related projects. This is just a voluntary thing, i'm not going behind a paywall. Nothing is changing.
I mention this because their tacky donate button makes it look like I made a deal with the devil, but in actuality it's just for everyone's security.
I hate doing this at all but I am spread very thin. I spend a lot of time and money on this project and that's fine when i can do it, it's a labor of love. But some of it is just becoming impossible for me to maintain and so it goes.
Future projects include-
-I am writing a series of (three) articles I would like to publish about Rothko's impact in the modern world. Scholarly material on Rothko from art historians is good and I don't wish to retread old ground. However, there are some sides of the Rothko legacy I would like to cover based on my experiences, including interviews I have done with people on how they have come to the work (some of you guys), coverage of fakes and misattributions, and biographical impressions based on numerous interviews I have read with his family and friends.
-A bigger and ongoing project would be to create a website and central database that art enthusiasts can use to locate travelling Rothko exhibits and find which paintings are in which museums. Many people ask me these questions personally but if there was a place where all this information lived and someone to update it, people could look up available Rothko works in different cities they are travelling to.
We are living in a troubled world with many humanitarian concerns that should rightly take precedence over my little project, but I am trying to survive myself and lately it's pretty hard.
Thanks to all for 9 years of Rothko love.
(I realized no one can donate on the mobile app, so if you wish to, use this link below.)
#mark rothko#markrothko#rothko#daily rothko#dailyrothko#abstract expressionism#modern art#abstraction#colorfield#ab ex#colorfield painting#mid century
507 notes
·
View notes
Note
I genuinely cannot stand you and your account. Every time I make a new account, you're always the in selfship tags filling it up with your terrible art and shitty posts. You are a waste of space and no one in this community likes you. Your f/o (who isnt YOUR f/o by the way, stop calling him that) doesn't love you, he definitely thinks you're annoying and wouldn't love you in any universe. I want you to know that I have an entire group of selfshippers I'm friends with that wish you'd do the world a favor and kill yourself, just so you know. It doesn't matter if you block me, by the way, because I can and will make new accounts to try to make you feel like shit. I pray to God every day you get in a terrible accident and die a slow and painful death. You mischaracterize "your" f/o (just a reminder, he doesn't love you and wishes you were dead!), you make the entire selfshipping community look stupid, and you're a sharer, too, which means you don't actually love any of your f/os anyways. You should get off of Tumblr. I'm serious, several of my friends are skilled hackers and will dox you. You don't deserve any of the merchandise you own, you don't deserve to be happy, really. And don't even try to tell me that since I'm a proshipper this goes against my "antiharassment values" or whatever I'm sure you'll try to say, every single proshipper I've spoken to thinks you're a hypocritical, disgusting, terrible individual that doesn't deserve the likes and attention you get. I seriously cannot believe anyone will a brain follows you. They probably do because antis don't have brains. They're retards that like throwing pedophile accusations at anyone that breathes. You all are some of the most idiotic and stupid people I've ever seen in my entire life. I cannot stand you. No one likes you, any mutual you think you have is secretly hoping you die, and trust me, a few people I know who follow you or at the very least have reblogged your things are secret proshippers! Isn't that terrible? I'm sure you think so. Because you think we're so bad, don't you? You think that all of us are rapists and evil people that deserve the death penalty. Every time someone reblogs the art you make and says "otp" and "I ship it", just know they're lying to you, they don't believe that, in fact, everyone's out to get you and no one likes you. And that server you own? Just know no one in there likes you. All of the friends you probably think you have? They don't like being around you. He doesn't love you, no one loves you, and if you have more f/os, they don't like you either. Your familial f/os want to disown you, your platonic f/os wish you weren't friends with them, and every single romantic f/o you THINK YOU HAVE does not LOVE YOU they DON'T LOVE YOU and they NEVER WILL. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. Every person I have talked to you about agrees they wish you didn't exist they wish you never made an account they wish you never started posting to selfship Tumblr. You are lucky that your main blog isn't linked here because if it was, I would be sending asks there too so you'd have to delete your main blog too, and maybe then you wouldn't come back to Tumblr. The entire selfship community hates you and your lazy posts that a five-year-old could write up. In fact, just so you know, I regularly steal your posts and post them to the proselfship tag and they get more attention than your blog. Antis are the minority in fandom, no one likes antis. Not a single person likes them, you're all braindead children who have no morals or understanding of the world. This website would be better without you on it. I know you'll post this, and I know that there's probably going to be people in the replies telling you that they love you so much and that you're a good person and that "your" f/o loves you but he doesn't love you and he never will love you and you're absolutely fucking delusional if you think so. I fucking hate you. I'll continue to ban evade until I can push you off of this website. You can't get away from me and I will dox you.
uh oh someone let grandpa out of the nursing home again. also you sound like an evil supervillain. you expect me to take this seriously? this CANNOT be serious I'm giggling so fucking hard
anyways, heres all the art i have of me and korekiyo!
also bad news buddy, i dont have any familial or platonic f/os. womp womp. go back to algebra class, lil bro.
233 notes
·
View notes
Text
Old Bloodhounds
P12 | THAT'S NOT LEGAL???
You're seated at the rest area, nursing a latte as you scrolled down your Twitter feed mindlessly. Mark saw you and gulped, walking over to you slowly. He wanted to call you out but you beat him to it, snapping your head to look at him before nodding at the empty seat before you, silently telling him to take a seat.
"...hey..."
"S'up." You deadpanned, putting your phone down on the table.
Mark darted his eyes elsewhere for a millisecond before looking back at you. You were still pissed at him, that's obvious, but you weren't telling to fuck off anymore so that's a sign you were willing to hear him out. Good.
"...I want to apologise. To you. For my...uh, for being—"
"For being a major asshole? For being a raging bitch? For acting like you had a 10 foot dildo stuck up your ass?" You finished his sentence for him in the same deadpan voice, and your choice of words made him wince.
"That's kinda misogynistic." He let out, you raised a brow at him.
He clammed his mouth shut when you narrowed your eyes at him. You rolled your eyes to the side when he started to stare at the table, obviously not having the strength to bear the shame and embarrassment.
"It's not like I don't get why you can't stand me, but since you asked for a strictly professional relationship, that's what I was kinda expecting, you know? If this is your way to get back at me, then you succeeded. I almost took up Yangyang's offer to have you jumped." You snorted before taking a sip of your latter.
Mark rubbed his face and started to shake his head at your words, not liking what you were accusing of him. He wasn't trying to be difficult to piss you off or to get back at you for hurting Jaehyun all those years ago—he was just being careless. MNA week was important to him and his faculty, why would he try to sabotage that?
"No, you have it wrong. I didn't have a hidden motive—I was careless and let...let our history cloud my judgement, okay? And I'm sorry for that. I won't let it affect our task anymore." He sighed, rubbing on his temples with his eyes closed, so he couldn't see the heartbroken expression you wore before you got rid of it.
I won't let it affect our task anymore.
He was apologising for being an asshole because it almost ruined your task and not because he felt guilty that he made you feel shitty. Maybe you should let Yangyang and his friends jump him while Aeri wrecks his social rep.
You scoffed at your own heartbreak and stood up, making him snap out of it. You held back your tears, composing yourself as you looked around the festival and pulled up the mental list of the entrepreneurial students you wanted to invite.
"Fine. Whatever. I accept your apology. Come on, I already picked out some student stalls that might catch your eye."
You walked ahead of him but made sure he could still catch up. You were seething quietly, cursing him out while he walked right behind you. What did you expect, anyway? He already said you were dead to him, why would you think he would feel bad about making you feel shitty?
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Can you do me a favour?" You asked, squinting your eyes at the road lights above you at how dim they were.
"What do you want?" Mark asked tiredly, holding himself back from rolling his eyes as he remembered he did owe you a favour or two already.
"Can you stay with me while I wait for my ride?" You asked with a sigh, looking down the road to see if Geonwoo was arriving.
At your request, Mark looked around and saw that the sun was already set and there were barely any students left near the Art Faculty. Even if you didn't ask, Mark would've offered anyway. As much as he hated you, he wouldn't wish anything bad to happen to you.
"Sure. Whatever. I owe you a favour anyways." He shrugged.
It didn't take long for Geonwoo to arrive, but to your surprise, he also brought along Woojin. An unfamiliar truck with dark tinted windows stopped in front of you and Mark, and seeing that you didn't recognise the vehicle, Mark stood in front of you as the driver's seat window started to roll down.
Your eyes lit up from behind Mark's shoulder when you saw Geonwoo's face behind the wheel, grinning at you. You could see Woojin smiling at you from the passenger seat too.
"Oh, it's Geonwoo! And Woojin too! Is this truck new?" You asked cheerfully, finding the mirth in Geonwoo's grin infectious.
"Yep, just brought it! Nice, isn't it? Hop on in, y/n. And you too, mister—let us drop you off, it's late anyway." Geonwoo's eyes disappeared as his grin widened as he looked at Mark.
Mark thought it wouldn't be so bad to arrive at his apartment 30 minutes earlier than he always would by letting them drop him off rather than taking the bus. However, he was a little weirded out with the men who looked way too old for any of them to be your boyfriend. They looked like they were in their early 30's while you were still a college undergrad. The driver calling you 'their y/n' rubbed off wrong on him.
"Just take up the offer." You muttered in a deadpan tone as you walked past him to open the backseat door.
Mark thought, 'fuck it', and entered the car anyway. He told himself you were nothing more than a coworker to him at this point, so he didn't really want to care what your relationship with these men were.
Both of you sat on opposite ends, as far away from each other as possible. Geonwoo raised an eyebrow at the obvious tension between you two but decided against commenting on it. As the car moved, Woojin took out your unit's spare access card that they always had for emergencies.
"Make sure to give this back to us by this week. This is the only copy of your unit's access card that we have." Woojin spoke offhandedly, and you nodded as you took it off his hand.
Mark glanced at the access card in your hand before looking at Woojin and Geonwoo. Why did they have your unit's spare access card? What was your relationship with them anyway?
"Sorry for all the trouble." You apologised sincerely, and Geonwoo shook his head as he glanced at you through the rearview mirror.
"It's alright, y/n. Also, where does your friend live? Since we're dropping him off and all." Mark's eyes met with Geonwoo's through the rearview mirror and the younger man could see the driver was smiling as he asked that.
"Oh, drop me off at Golden Hour Apartment Complex. Um, and thank you for letting me hitch a ride with you guys."
"It's all good, kid. What's your name, anyway? We wanna thank you properly for keeping y/n company while she waited for us." Woojin asked, good-natured and appreciative.
"Oh—it's Mark Lee. You can just call me Mark."
The way both men froze made you panic momentarily while Mark missed the way Geonwoo's forearm flexed and Woojin's head snapped to the side.
"Mark, huh?" Woojin's voice cut through the sudden silence.
"Yeah...?" Mark voiced out hesitantly, feeling like he said something he shouldn't have.
When the car stopped for a red light, both Geonwoo and Woojin fully turned their head to look at Mark closely, making you pray to God that Mark wasn't weirded out with their sudden scrutiny.
Woojin extended his arm to Mark and the clueless collegiate took it, holding back a wince when Woojin gripped on his hand more than just firmly—Woojin was squeezing on him hard that it borderline hurt. You cursed at your overprotective bosses' weird behaviour from inside your head.
"Thank you for keeping our y/n company, Mark."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Mark watched as the truck drove off. No matter how much he wanted to say he didn't care who those guys were to you, he had to wonder if Yangyang had been telling the truth. They were weirdly protective over you, they had your unit's access card, they were obviously rich.
Were they your sugar daddies?
prev | masterlist | next
A/N : y/n is wondering why was she cursed with weird ass bosses like geonwoo and woojin
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
• taglist • [OPEN]
@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
Birdie | Satoru Gojo - Chapter 01
Words: 4.8k
Summary: You didn’t like him, at all. But due to your bad luck you would have to be forced to work with him and different circumstances end up leading you to the fact that perhaps the word dislike is not the one you use to describe him.
Note: divider art credit _3aem (twt)
Tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball
Slow updates
Materialist | next chapter
Wattpad | ao3
While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as "hate" carried significant weight; rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.
Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.
“We will divide the project in two.” You said looking at the information the teacher gave you. “So we can work on it separately and once we are done we will put it together.” You didn’t like the idea but you disliked even more the idea of spending time outside the class with him.
“That wouldn’t work out, it’s better if we schedule a time to meet and we start working on it.” Gojo talked.
“No.” You said. “I’m way too busy to think about meeting outside of classes.” And it was true, you were working in two different jobs to pay the bills of college and the tiny apartment you were staying on.
“Oh c’mon!” He pouted. “It’s impossible that you are busy every day of the week at every hour.”
“Well I am.” You were starting to get angry, couldn’t he understand you didn’t want to meet with him.
The ring rang and you thanked it, it was time to leave for another class, one you wouldn’t have to see the perfect face of Satoru Gojo.
“Wait! How do we stay in contact?” Gojo spoke when you were about to leave the classroom. You could feel the gaze of a group of girl right on your neck.
“With the email.”
“C’mon.” He said your name. “Give me your number.”
“No and now leave me. I need to get to my class.”
You walked past the group of girls that were chatting obviously about the scene that just happened.
“How can she be so rude with Satoru?”
“Yeah who does she think she is? Does she even know who Satoru is?”
“She is such a loser.”
You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Of course, you were well aware of who he was - everyone knew him. A pampered child from a wealthy family, born into privilege and affluence, often referred to as an “old money baby”. He had everything handed to him on a silver platter - impeccable looks, tall, athletic, and intelligence. For many, he embodied the epitome of perfection. However, for you, he was nothing more than an insufferable jerk whom you couldn't stand.
On the flip side, you were the complete opposite of him. Life hadn't dealt you a fair hand - you struggled to make ends meet. When your mother passed away when you were just six, and your father vanished after hearing news of her pregnancy. Left with no one but your grandmother, you found solace in her loving care. However, as time marched on, you were once again confronted with loneliness when she passed away when you were just 16. With only a meager inheritance from your grandmother and the income from your job at a local store, you barely scraped by until the age of 18. Thankfully, your relentless dedication to your studies paid off when you earned a scholarship to attend the University of Tokyo.
Even though you got into a good college on the degree you wanted, your life in Tokyo hasn’t been quite easy. You were living in a tiny apartment, going to college and working two jobs because it would be impossible to make it to the end of the month with just one job. Luckily, the scholarship covered all my college expenses, but living in Tokyo wasn't exactly easy on the wallet. I found myself navigating life in the bustling city all on my own.
But your aversion towards Gojo Satoru began two years ago, on the first day of college. Rushing late after exhausting yourself at work, you collided with him, causing you to stumble to the ground. Prepared to offer an apology, you were met with his irate ranting, delivered without even a glance in your direction. Had you not been humiliated on the ground, you might have slapped some sense into him right then and there. Why was he so infuriated when he was clearly the one at fault? And the fact that he couldn't even look at you added insult to injury. Frustrated and embarrassed, you left before he could utter another word; you had no desire to hear anything further from him.
The true agony hit when you discovered he would be sharing classes with you. From then on, you made every effort to steer clear of him and his foolishness. However, it seemed everyone in your class, and even in other majors, adored him. The teachers showered him with praise because everything he touched turned to gold. Despite being at the university for two years, you had never managed to outperform his grades, and it infuriated you beyond measure.
For the past two years, you had been lucky enough to avoid partnering with him. However, it appeared that luck had finally abandoned you, and now you were destined to endure his company for the next three months.
You sat on the seat you would normally choose and took out the notebook to take notes of the next class.
“I heard you got assigned with Satoru Gojo in one of your classes.” You heard a voice next to you which made you jump.
“Kyoko… don’t scare me like that.” You cried while putting your hand on your chest trying to calm down. “How did you find out?”
“Well, everyone was talking about how a girl who got paired with the great Satoru Gojo was so rude to him and how she should be more grateful for this glorious opportunity.” You rolled your eyes.
“I might throw myself out of the window…” You leaned your head against the table and closed your eyes. “Three months Kyoko, three months.”
“I know…you know that you can talk to me if he does anything to bother you.”
“Thank you, you’re the best Kyoko.”
She smiled warmly at you, and together you turned your attention to the class. You had met Kyoko on the same day as your initial encounter with Gojo Satoru. Sitting together in one of the classes, an instant connection formed between you two, and from that moment onward, you were inseparable. Kyoko brought a brightness into your life like a ray of sunshine piercing through clouds. On the first Christmas when she discovered you would be spending it alone in your apartment, she whisked you away to her home, where you celebrated with her and her parents. Since then, Kyoko's parents had filled the void of the parents you had dearly missed, and Kyoko herself had become the sister you had always longed for.
The class was over before you knew it. Your hands hurt after taking notes non-stop and your head felt like it was about to explode after barely sleeping last night.
“Do you have time to eat with me? Or you have to go to the grocery store already?” Kyoko stood besides you while walking in the corridor.
“Today I can eat with you. My shift doesn’t start until 3 p.m. so it’s alright.”
Kyoko looked at you with concerned eyes. “Are you sure you are properly resting? You look tired and the grocery store job is okay, but I’m worried about you working on that bar at nights.”
You sighed, she was right the bar was an unpleasant place, most of those who went were men in their 40s or 50s who left their offices and spent the night drinking until they fell at the bar counter, while making obscene comments. But they paid well and the money was something I desperately needed.
You smiled at her. “I will be alright. Don’t worry.”
“You know you can always come to life with me, I know my parents wouldn’t bother taking you in. And if you feel like it would be too much, you could always pay something but then you could quit that crappy job and just work at the grocery store.”
“Kyoko… we already talked about it. I appreciate you and your parents' good heart and intentions but I can handle everything.” She nodded. “And I know I can always count on you.”
“Always.” And she held you from the arm. “Now let’s go and eat something. My treat.” You were about to protest when Kyoko cut you off. “No excuses, you deserve me to invite you especially because my poor best friend is going to have to put up with her least favorite person in the world for three months.”
“Ugh!” You rolled your eyes. “Please don’t remind me of that.”
Both of you laughed and made your way straight to the cafeteria, your stomachs growling with hunger. You had only managed to gulp down a coffee that morning to wake up, and now you were convinced you could devour the entire menu. Taking your usual seats at the table, Kyoko headed to order your food. The cafeteria buzzed with activity, students weaving in and out while conversations filled the air. You glanced at your phone, hoping for some notifications, but all you found were promotional emails from the supermarket.
Kyoko returned with the food, setting it down in front of you, and you delved into a conversation about Kyoko's recent date. It seemed the boy had shown a keen interest in her, but your friend hadn't felt the same way about him. Being the kind-hearted person she was, Kyoko struggled with how to gently let him know she wasn't interested in continuing to see him.
“Oh shit…” Kyoko whispered.
“What?”
“Don’t turn around but I think a certain someone is coming here.” Your eyebrow arched and you clenched your fists.
“Tell me that the certain someone doesn’t have white hair…” Kyoko grimaced and by the time you wanted to say something, the person responsible for your headache at that very moment had sat down next to you.
“Hello ladies!!” He talked with the happiest tone. He called your name but you ignored him, you didn’t want to interact with him, not even a bit. “I don’t think we know each other. I’m Satoru Gojo.” He talked to Kyoko.
“Kyoko. And we actually share a class together.”
“Oh! We do? Sorry I can’t remember it. But it is nice to meet you, Kyoko.”
“Satoru…” Another male voice spoke behind you. Your head was really going to explode.
“Oh Suguru! Come here!” He moved his hand, pointing at the seat next to Kyoko.
“Satoru… why don’t you leave the girls eating alone.” The boy of dark hair looked at his friend and then at both of you. “I'm sorry for bothering you.”
“It’s okay, don't worry.” Kyoko smiled back at him.
“Come on Suguru! Let’s eat with them… I need to spend more time with my classmate, right birdie?” You looked at him.
“Who are you calling birdie?” You were angry, why was he giving you nicknames like you have known each other for years or like you were close.
“Oh so now you pay attention to me…” He smirked and tilted his head as he rested it on his hand and looked at you.
You snorted and pushed the plate away. “Kyoko, I have to go or I'll be late.” You said goodbye to Gojo's friend, who you assumed was called Suguru, and ignored Gojo.
“Take care.” You heard Kyoko. “And sent me a message once you arrived home from the bar!” You gave her a thumbs up and left the cafeteria.
You felt uneasy. What was Gojo Satoru playing at, giving you a nickname? And that look he just gave you—what was that about? You couldn't stand it. Sinking into your seat on the bus, you put on your headphones, seeking a brief respite before reaching your workplace. You were scheduled to work for five hours, followed by a rush to the bar, where you'd likely be working until 2 a.m., if luck was on your side.
As your eyelids grew heavy, you recognized the familiar streets passing by. With just a few stops left until your destination, you stretched out in your seat and rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the fatigue.
You got out of the bus and walked a few steps until you reached the small grocery store where you work. You still had 5 minutes left to work but between changing and preparing everything the time would arrive. You greeted Yu who was behind the counter serving a customer and went to the employee room at the back.
“You are early.” Haibara entered the room.
“I’m 5 minutes earlier… is not THAT early.” You smiled at him.
“You know you can always take the day off and rest. I can cover you if you need it, you look so tired.”
“I’m okay but thank you Haibara.”
“Okay! Then if you are taking my place I will get going. A friend of mine is waiting for me.” You nodded. “Call me if you need anything.”
You waved goodbye to him and observed as he rendezvoused with a tall blonde guy outside the store, someone you vaguely recognized from campus. Throughout the afternoon, several children trickled in to purchase trinkets, occasionally accompanied by adults picking up a few items. The day had been relatively quiet, affording you the opportunity to jot down some notes and review your studies.
As closing time approached, the sliding door chimed open once more, signaling the arrival of another customer. However, you were preoccupied assisting a lady who was meticulously counting the coins needed to pay for her purchase.
“Thank you so much darling.” She said once you were done with her. “Have a nice night.”
“Thanks to you! And please come here again.”
“Hello birdie!” Your mouth opened slightly when you saw who was waiting to be served and the last customer of the day.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You screamed angrily.
He looked down and moved the bottle he was holding. “Buying something to drink.” He smiled, showing his perfect smile.
“Here?” He nodded. “In this grocery store?” He nodded again. “Of this unknown neighborhood?” He nodded once again. “Gojo…” You touched your head, closing your eyes. “I don’t know what you want or your intentions but don’t you dare bother me anymore.”
“I already told you birdie I’m here, to buy this.” He put the bottle in front of you.
“There you have it. Now, bye.” You turned around and started cleaning some things that were around. It was time to close and you needed to hurry up to got to the bar.
You picked up and changed into the clothes you had come in. For a moment you had to lean against the wall, for an hour or so you had been dizzy and nauseous, but you couldn't allow yourself to be absent. You turned off the lights and closed the grocery store.
“What are you still doing here?” You turned around to look at Gojo who was right in front of the shop.
He walked smiling towards you. “Waiting for you.”
You rolled your eyes, couldn’t he understand you or something. “Well, I don’t want you to be waiting for me. So now… BYE!” And you started moving towards the bar.
“Oh c’mon.” He said your name this time. “Let me accompany you to your house or at least near it. It’s not good for a girl to…”
“Are you a stalker?” Gojo opened his mouth. “And I’m not going home, I need to get to work and because of you I might be late.”
“Work? But you just get out of it.” He walked next to you. “Why would you have two works…”
“Listen Gojo! Not everyone is born on a silver spoon. Some of us have to work our asses out to get the things we want.” You were tired. “You are lucky your parents probably get you everything they want for you but not everyone is that lucky.”
“You’re pale. Are you okay?” You certainly weren’t, but you couldn't afford to be, you had to go to work. “Oh shit! You might have a fever.” His hand was on your forehead, wait when did he get that close?
“Leave me…” Everything was spinning around.
“Hey!” You felt how Gojo held you, preventing you from falling to the ground, and then everything went black.
You weren't certain how long you had been unconscious, but it was certainly for a considerable amount of time. As you blinked your eyes open, you found yourself surrounded by darkness, with only a faint glow of outside light seeping into the room. Despite the dimness, you were able to swiftly recognize your surroundings. You were in Kyoko's room, but how had you ended up there? The last memory you could recall was being with Gojo before blacking out.
“Kyoko?” You whispered. You were confused and still feeling sick.
You saw how a silhouette moved to grab something from the table and then a light from the cell phone illuminated the room.
Kyoko whispered your name. “How are you feeling?”
“Still dizzy…” You touched your head. “How did I get here?”
“Satoru called me.” You looked at her confused, since when she called him Satoru and since when did she have his number. “Don’t look at me like that, when you left I stayed with him and with his friend, Suguru and they are pretty nice guys.” You rolled your eyes. “And his friend is pretty cute.”
“Kyoko…”
“What? It’s true, he was so polite and nice and did you know he studies…”
“Do you like him?”
“I mean… it’s early to say that but I would love to go out with him sometime.” Your friend smiled.
“You remember that there is a guy still waiting for an answer from you right?”
Kyoko pouted. “I know… I will let him know I’m not interested, because it’s true I’m not.”
“Good…”
“But now to what is important.” Oh here it came. “What would you have done if Satoru wasn’t there when you fainted?”
“I… it was just a coincidence. I was totally find this morning.”
Kyoko said your name heavily. “How much have you slept this week? And be honest with me.”
You thought for a moment. “5 hours…”
“That’s not bad, I thought you were going to say something like 2 hours.”
“In the last 3 days…”
Kyoko opened her mouth, letting a gasp out. “Are you insane? You want to die or something?”
“Sorry! But college and the jobs… the jobs, my shift on the bar…”
“Relax. I called them and told them you were sick after Satoru called me.” You breathed in relief. “But don’t try to change the topic. 5 hours in 3 days?! That’s inhuman and you can’t keep going like this.”
“And what do I do Kyoko?” You pulled the sheets up to your face.
“Stay here… we have a spare room, you can stay there.” You growled, Kyoko knew that was too much. Even if you were her best friend, you were still someone from outside the family. “You can pay a minimum if that will make you feel better, but if you stay here you wouldn’t have to pay the rent you are paying right now and you wouldn’t have to work at that shitty bar.”
“I… I will think about it okay…” Kyoko nodded.
“Now go back to sleep.”
“Okay…” You closed your eyes.
“And by the way.” Kyoko spoke again. “Start thinking what you are going to say to Satoru, you throw up on him.”
“I… WHAT?” Your eyes opened like plates.
“Good night~”
“No Kyoko, tell me! What do you mean I threw up on Gojo?” You cried.
“Go to sleep.”
You groaned, feeling utterly mortified at the thought of having thrown up on Gojo. This was beyond embarrassing—how were you supposed to face him and apologize for such a humiliating incident? The desire to vanish into thin air consumed you. Your head spun with the aftermath of the situation, and before you knew it, you had drifted off to sleep.
Upon waking up again, you sensed that several hours had passed; sunlight now flooded through the window, illuminating the room entirely. Kyoko was nowhere to be seen, and you sat up in bed, stretching your stiff body. You felt utterly filthy after experiencing fever and vomiting; a shower was desperately needed.
Searching for your phone to check the time, you discovered several messages awaiting your attention—some from Kyoko and others from an unknown number.
Kyoko ☀️
Rest as much as you want. My mom left you food prepared in the kitchen but you will be alone for most of the day.
You can take my clothes if you want.
And don’t worry about the classes I will take the notes for you.
And by the way, I’m sorry and I love you 😘
Sorry? For what? You tapped on the unknown number and then you understood why she was sorry.
xxxx
Hellooooo birdie !!
Kyoko gave me your number, don’t get angry at her.
I hope you feel better soon
You clenched your fists and sighed, now you would have to endure it because of your cell phone too.
You to Kyoko ☀️
You should be grateful I love you so much and I won’t kill you.
And thanks, I will be taking a shower and do you mind if I take one of your pajamas?
Kyoko ☀️
Everything that’s mine is yours 😘
You rolled your eyes at your friend. And opened once again the chat of Gojo. How should you respond to him? Should you apologize for throwing up at him? Should you just be as cold as always? The guy was messaging you after you fainted and threw up on him, he didn’t deserve to be treated coldly although you wanted to.
You to Pain in the ass
Hi. I’m good
Thanks for yesterday and sorry for what happened…
Also stop calling me birdie, people would think we are close or something
Leaving your phone on the table, you grabbed one of Kyoko's pajamas and made your way to the bathroom. Compared to a few hours ago, you felt significantly better; the fever seemed to have subsided or at least diminished in intensity. After a refreshing shower, you changed into the pajamas and headed to the kitchen.
True to Kyoko's word, her mother had left a plate of food prepared for you. Grateful for the gesture, you sat down to enjoy the meal. Retrieving your phone once more, you noticed two notifications, which came as a surprise—they were not the usual supermarket offers.
Pain in the ass
Don’t worry about it, I’m glad to hear you are okay
*This message was deleted*
What did he send and delete after?
Pain in the ass
Since you are sick we decided to accompany Kyoko for lunch!
And there was a picture of Kyoko with Gojo and two other people, the guy from yesterday, Suguru and another girl you didn’t know about. Kyoko was smiling and doing the peace sign next to Suguru, while Gojo was the one taking the selfie and showing off his perfect teeth.
You to Pain in the ass
You better treat Kyoko right, or you will hear from me once I’m back at class.
It was hard to believe you were talking so casually with him. You shook your head, talking like that on the phone was just a way of being polite with him, nothing else.
Pain in the ass
If that way I get you to talk to me
You stayed looking at the message for a couple of minutes. Something on your stomach was moving. Stupid Satoru Gojo.
You to Pain in the ass
By the way, do I need to pay you something… for you know…
Pain in the ass
For what?
You to Pain in the ass
Don’t make me say it, it’s way too embarrassing.
Pain in the ass
If you don’t tell me what I won’t know 🤷
You to Pain in the ass
Throwing up on you!
Do I need to pay for something? Like dry cleaning or something?
Pain in the ass
Hehe
You wanted to punch him, he obviously knew.
Pain in the ass
Nop, you don’t need to pay anything. Don’t worry 😉
You to Pain in the ass
Okay, now I will leave to sleep
Don’t bother me Gojo!
Pain in the ass
Alright birdie!!
Rest well. I don’t want you throwing up and fainting in the arms of other people
You to Pain in the ass
Say something like that again and I’m blocking you
Pain in the ass
🥺
You rolled your eyes and left the phone once again. He really was a pain in the ass. You went to Kyoko’s room and lay down on her bed, although you were feeling better, you were still feeling tired, so you decided to sleep for a bit more, at least until Kyoko returned home.
You heard a door close and someone walk down the hall in silence. You knew it was Kyoko when she entered the room. She walked up to you and you smiled at her when your eyes met.
“You look better.”
“I feel better.” You say stretching on yourself. “I feel like I have slept everything I haven’t slept in a month.” You looked at Kyoko and she was doing a grimace of disgust. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Have you thought about it? About moving here?”
You did. You thought about it a lot, but you couldn't deny that you were at a point where if you continued at that pace you would end up killing yourself.
“I will.” Kyoko screamed with happiness. “But only if your parents are okay with it.”
“And they are! Don’t worry.” She started clapping and jumped out of bed with happiness. “By the way, I’m surprised you met Satoru yesterday at the grocery store.”
You looked at her strangely. “Didn't you tell her where she worked?” Kyoko shook her head.
And then it hit you, you haven't told Haibara that you would not be going to work today, he would probably be covering for you and you would have to tell him.
“Shit… Where is my phone?” You looked around.
“Who is Pain in the ass?” Kyoko hang you the phone.
“It’s Gojo…” She nodded while you searched for the number of Haibara on your phone. “Haibara!” You said when you heard him picking up. “Yeah it’s me… I’m so sorry, I’m sick and I couldn’t go today… I hope you-” Kyoko looked at you when felt silent. “What do you mean you already knew? Who told you?” Kyoko watched you with interest trying something of what was said on the other end of the phone. “Oh… okay. I will thank him then… Yeah. Bye.” And you throw the phone to the side.
“What’s with that face?”
“Gojo Satoru told my coworker I was sick.”
“That’s pretty considerate.”
“They are friends…”
“Who?”
“My coworker and Gojo, that’s why he appeared there.” You realized. “Probably Haibara told him and he came to bother.”
Kyoko called your name and you looked at her. “I don’t think he went to bother you…”
“Well… but it’s strange he went all the way to that place! Why would he go if it wasn’t to bother me?”
Your best friend sighed and closed her eyes, whispering something you could not hear and then looked back at you. “Thanks he was there. Or who knows what would have happened to you.”
You rolled your eyes. “You are right. And I already thanked him.”
“Oh you did?”
“Don’t act surprised when you were the one that gave him my number.”
She put her hands in the air and smiled. “Sorry. But he was really, REALLY insistent…”
“I can imagine.”
“He sent you a message right? What did he say?”
You took the phone and unlocked it to see the message that Gojo sent you.
Pain in the ass
I'll save you place next to me in class for tomorrow 🙆
What’s up with him?
“Oh…” Kyoko smiled next to you.
“What?”
“Nothing… figure it out yourself baby.” She smiled.
“Kyoko… Kyoko, what did that oh ment, come back here.” You followed her through the corridor while she laughed.
“No.” She continued laughing. “Oh!” She stopped walking and turned to look at you. “I already sent a message to the guy.”
“Finally.”
“Yeah…”
“You? Are you really going to try and go out with Gojo’s friend?”
She shrugged and smiled. The fact that Kyoko started dating Gojo's friend didn't particularly bother you, but it did mean potentially spending even more time with Gojo than you had anticipated. The mere thought made your head ache again. However, before dealing with that, you needed to figure out how to face Satoru Gojo tomorrow. It would mark the first encounter since... that incident.
Note: a comment and a like would be appreciated. Also comment to be tagged in the chapters
Tag list: @crybabytoru, @sanriosatoru, @norvacaine, @sadmonke
#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru fluff#gojou satoru x you#satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fanfic#gojo satoru x oc#gojo satoru smut#gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#fanfic jjk#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojo saturo#satoru gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru smut#gojo satoru x y/n
250 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hm. Okay. So I didn't read a lot this last month. I've been fighting chronic illness and the brain fog that comes with it so really it's a miracle I read what I did. Didn't do any drawing challenge this year, but I DID knit a half dozen cool little things I can't yet share but am very excited about! I also had fun with the Tricking Treats this year. Yall really came through for that game this year, thanks! Acquired a nice new monitor for computer and it's been wonderful. Next step is speakers so I can watch things!
I feel like I made a pretty decent dent in my yearly reading list and while I don't think I'll finish it (waitlist for Jasmine Throne audio is still about sixteen weeks long), I'm happy with where I am. Three (3!!) books I read this month were from the list and I think that's very cool and executive functioning of me.
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan ⭐⭐⭐½ - A friend has been trying to get me to read this since it came out and I've always put it off because our tastes are SO different, but I didn't hate this! I mostly enjoyed it! It missed a few marks for me and I wouldn't really want to read it again, but I'm glad I experienced it. Love a good gremlin of a main character.
Red Sister by Mark Lawrence ⭐ - Yawn. Snore. Boring. Read for book club, but I wasn't exactly not interested in it on my own. IT just. Didn't hit right. Mark Lawrence needs to stop being afraid of aging up his characters because there is no way a nine year old is doing all that. Was this scifi? Where those space ships?? Is the moon haunted??? Who knows. Who cares. Not I.
Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I am forever a Daughter of Smoke and Bone girlie (gender neutral) so I've been avoiding this because what if I don't like it?? Spoiler! I did like it! It somehow scratched the hole left in my heart after DoSaB, but still felt distinct and unique. Did not like the insta love going on, yall have known each other for like twelve hours what do you mean you're In Love. Visuals were great and world building stunning as always. I wish Laini Taylor published more books, I love the worlds she creates.
Once & Future by AR Capetta and Cory McCarthy ⭐ - I'm never reading another book with Jimmy Pees name on it ever again. I meant to do a full review on this one, but time slipped away. I think this could be SO GOOD if it was reworked to two books where book one stopped at the time skip and book two took more time to overthrow the Evil Capitalist. It was too on the nose. It felt like middle grade, it dealt with older young adult topics. Merlin fucking sucked. I find it icky that everyone was paired off except for the ace character who EVERYONE HATED. Sure they came around to her, but ONLY AFTER IT WAS MADE CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTO GWEN. Ick. Full of potential, and yet.
Not a great reading month. Maybe November will be kinder. I'm slowly getting through Sunbringer, and am enjoying what I'm read so far so things are looking up. Going to see Nerd Squad soon. Still making knitted things I can't share until after the holidays. Tricking Treats also made me excited to do art again and because there were so many I ended up learning a lot about how CSP works which is fun! So hey! November is looking good! November is looking fun! I WILL MAKE IT FUN!
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#october wrap up#books#booklr#my health has Not Been Good yall lmaaoooo#i hate insurance its such a scam#just give me my meds!!!!!!!!!!!! the dr prescribed them for a reason!!!!!!! who are you to say its unnecessary!#also disability took away 100$ every month because 'my income changed' but the only income i have is their payments so like.#lol. lmao even.#idk its a mess over here but i refuse to die about it
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ben 10 Omniverse isn't a terrible show, but it often misses its mark for the sake of comedy. And it's not even good comedy either; it's the same old "Lol. Ben's so lazy, ignorant, and irresponsible. It's a wonder how he keeps the Omnitrix at all! LMFAO" And it's like, okay, we get it. Everyone thinks Ben is a moron, but if Ben's a moron, what does that make the people who lose to him? 🤨
One of the times Omniverse misses the mark on what could have been a legendary episode akin to Adventures Time's "The Hall of Egress." It is the episode Universe v. Tennyson.
The episode about Ben going to trial for recreating the universe. Besides seeing Alien X fight, the episode doesn't make any sense. And I entirely blame writers. They did not think of the logistics of how a trial of this sort of magnitude would actually go. I wouldn't be surprised if the trial was just an excuse to see the celestialsapiens in action.
They wanted a reason to explain the different art styles and all the retcons. Which in itself is stupid. As the audience, we know why specific changes are made. They didn't need to hand-feed us retconning; it always happens.
But more to the point, the entire trial is a sham. And it pissed me off to no end!
1. Ben was never subpoenaed. Alien or not, you can't part the sky like the Red Sea and drag someone to court. You have to set an official date and time for trial, allow the defense to acquire a lawyer, and build their defense. This is basic shit, and if your excuse is that it's just a kids cartoon, that doesn't excuse bad writing.
I just can't stand when people brush over essential details.
2. Only in certain circumstances can you forcefully take a person to court. And that is if the suspected criminal is considered a danger to the public or a flight risk. And even then, it's an immediate arrest before going to court for a hearing. Ambush arrests are considered a last resort; considering Ben's positions as a plumber and wielder of the Omnitrix, Ben has little to no criminal record.
3. Due process, refering back to my earlier point, the celestial sapiens would have needed to give notice of charges, and Ben would need to be heard in front of an impartial tribunal. The entire universe is not an impartial jury. There's a reason any Rando can't walk into a courtroom and decide whether a person is guilty. What if several people aren't even aware of the trial? That could skewer the vote in favor of the Plaintiff (Celestialsapiens)
If the writers on Omniverse weren't so focused on having a hate boner for the main character, this could have been a great episode. And it is a hate boner because why else would they pick Mr. Baumann as the first witness. This dude had beef with Ben since early childhood before having the Omnitrix. His opinion is beyond biased.
Also, Rook took the first chance to air his petty grievances with Ben in front of the entire universe in a court of law, and that is beyond shitty. Ben being "ignorant of many things" isn't a proven fact; it's a personal opinion. Also, being ignorant is a crime?
And had Ben been sentenced to death or died in the trial by combat, what was the plan afterward? Rook carries Ben's body to his mother and says,
"Sorry, Ms. Tennyson, your minor child didn't have the mental knowledge and fortitude of a 50-year-old veteran; his death was totally justified. "
If Ben is ignorant of many things, it is because he is young and has only just started exploring the universe. Many toddlers should be behind bars if simply being uninformed is a crime. It's like the show constantly forgets that Ben is still young but insists on punishing him for it.
The court case is to decide whether Ben recreated the universe; his lack of knowledge and irresponsibility are not up for debate. Besides, Rook has only known Ben for a few months; I doubt that makes him a sound judge of character.
I wish they had brought different people to the witness stand. They could have made excellent callbacks by bringing characters like
Tetrax- He is literally the guardian of Omnitrix and decided that even at age 10, the Omnitrix was safe in Ben's hands. Also, the fact that Ben restores the planet Petropia can be used to defend Ben's recreation of the universe.
Reinrassig III- I'm sure the word of Highbreed Supreme would hold more weight in court than Mr. Bauman. A small store owner on a tiny planet in the far corner of the galaxy.
Queen Cicely of the Lewodan( ep. Con of Rath) - The mother of the Tiffin, you know, the baby Ben jumped down a man's throat to save. Ben broke the law by doing that but still prevented a massive war.
Magister Hulka- (ep. Basic Training) Hulka is a well-decorated Plumber and was Ben's academy instructor. Ben passed with flying colors despite disobeying orders, saving Hulka's life. He even gave Ben his medal for creativity and effective tactics. His word holds more weight than Rook Blonko's, a literally rookie in the plumber association.
Azmuth- do I even need to say anything?
Maxx and Xylene are more than familiar with the Omnitrix and Ben himself.
Paradox is literally the number one expert on the subject.
Could you imagine the cross-examination with these characters?
And even without proper character witnesses, Ben could argue that what is illegal is not always morally right.
What is the actual crime, the crime of caring too much? And if his crime is recreating the universe without prior permission. The celestialspaiens were a hidden society; how would he have gotten permission?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
If Ben was the only living thing left after the universe was destroyed, did he really break the law since no one was there to uphold it?
Especially since he created the universe up until the very moment it was destroyed, so no time would have passed at all.
Ben's other option was leaving that universe for dead, and pulling a Rick and Morty, but he didn't do that cause he's not a sociopath.
The only angle that makes sense for this trial to happen is if it wasn't to prosecute Ben, but to send a message. The message that Celestialsapiens are not to be trifled with and that any attempts will be met with extreme prejudice and even death by combat.
The Celestialsapiens have recreated the universe multiple times, with even more drastic changes than just a smoothie flavor. I mean, Grandpa Max can't even open his eyes, and Azmuth's voice has changed several times. They literally point that out in the episode, and yet this is the first time a trial has ever been broadcasted to the universe.
In fact, this is the first time any other aliens have seen a celestialsapien save for Alien X. And even he was deemed a myth. So why now? Why the grand fan fair? Why broadcast the trial at all? They never notified the universe before.
It's because the celestial aliens were afraid for the first time since their conception. Their entire beings were briefly erased from existence and recreated, and they did not like it! Do you honestly believe that they changed anything about themselves after recreating the universe multiple times? Of course not!
But Ben doing that sent the species into a mental spiral of worry and anguish with the fear of not being completely yourself. The same curse they've placed upon the universe prior without any hint of guilt.
The trial was about establishing dominance to keep Ben from recreating the universe regardless of his reasoning. But also to prevent other aliens from attempting the same thing. That's why the trial was broadcasted through the galaxy. This was just a bunch of dick-swinging, so the celestialsapiens don't have to face any sort of actual accountability.
#ben 10 omniverse#ben tennyson#ben 10#Universe Vs Tennyson#tetrax shard#professor paradox#Azmuth#Alien X#Rook Blonko#personal rant
138 notes
·
View notes
Text
Justice for Barty Crouch Jr: Part 1/2
(Part 2)
This is a bit of a weird theory, and I'll confess, some of the evidence is not all that conclusive. But I didn't see anyone mention anything about this anywhere else...
When I reread the books recently, I noticed I really liked Mad-Eye Moody in Goblet of Fire. Moody in the fourth book is actually one of my favorite characters, he makes the top 10. But then I reached Order of the Phoenix and realized (again) that I hate Moody's guts.
The only conclusion I could draw was that I really liked Barty Crouch Jr. because, Moody in book 4, wasn't really Moody. So, I went back to Goblet of Fire to try and find out who Barty is, how his behavior as Moody, differed from the real deal in the later books, and why I liked him when I didn't like the real Moody.
And let's just say, I came to some interesting conclusions...
This post ended up being pretty long, so I've divided it up into two. But my thesis is:
Barty was a Death eater, but he didn't torture the Longbottoms.
He didn't want Harry to be hurt during the Tornoment and actually cared about him.
And I can prove it!
Reasons for Doubt
When reviewing all the scenes of Barty Jr, it was made clear pretty quickly that Barty wasn't really trying to fool anyone. Actually, he seemed to be actively sabotaging himself.
“Maybe someone’s hoping Potter is going to die for it,” said Moody, with the merest trace of a growl. An extremely tense silence followed these words. Ludo Bagman, who was looking very anxious indeed, bounced nervously up and down on his feet and said, “Moody, old man ... what a thing to say!” “We all know Professor Moody considers the morning wasted if he hasn’t discovered six plots to murder him before lunchtime,” said Karkaroff loudly. “Apparently he is now teaching his students to fear assassination too. An odd quality in a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dumbledore, but no doubt you had your reasons.”
(Goblet of Fire, page 279)
From the very beginning, Barty is outright telling everyone what happened. And exactly how:
“Because they hoodwinked a very powerful magical object!” said Moody. “It would have needed an exceptionally strong Confundus Charm to bamboozle that goblet into forgetting that only three schools compete in the tournament. ... I’m guessing they submitted Potter’s name under a fourth school, to make sure he was the only one in his category. ...” “You seem to have given this a great deal of thought, Moody,” said Karkaroff coldly, “and a very ingenious theory it is — though of course, I heard you recently got it into your head that one of your birthday presents contained a cunningly disguised basilisk egg, and smashed it to pieces before realizing it was a carriage clock. So you’ll understand if we don’t take you entirely seriously. ...”
(Goblet of Fire, pages 279-280)
He goes as far as to explain how he got Harry into the tournament. To the point even Karkaroff thinks it's strange Moody would bother putting so much thought into it. And he's right, it is super strange.
Barty shouldn't be explaining that to the people he is supposedly trying to deceive. It's so incredibly revealing and counterproductive. And it's not that Barty is stupid, he shows he is both intelligent and competent to a degree it's clear that if he really wanted to not be discovered he wouldn't be (he transfigured his father's corpse to a bone and buried it in the forest when he didn't wish to be found out, clearly, he can get away with murder when he wants to). So why all of this? Why try so hard to tell them exactly what's going on? Why is he showing his hand?
It won't be out of character for Moody to not mention all of it. He could not go into as much detail easily. But, he chooses to go into detail about the very method he used to get Harry chosen for the tournament. Like he's trying to get himself caught.
“So . . . whoever conjured the Dark Mark . . .” said Hermione slowly, “were they doing it to show support for the Death Eaters, or to scare them away?” “Your guess is as good as ours, Hermione,” said Mr. Weasley. “But I’ll tell you this . . . it was only the Death Eaters who ever knew how to conjure it. I’d be very surprised if the person who did it hadn’t been a Death Eater once, even if they’re not now. . . .
(Goblet of Fire, page 143)
This is an earlier note from Hermione, and I agree with her 100%. The goal of Barty when casting the Dark Mark isn't clear. We know he is a marked Death Eater, but so are Regulus and Snape. We know not all Death Eaters agreed with everything they did, and some of them had regrets. And it's kind of interesting this idea that Barty cast the Dark Mark to scare the attackers off was planted this early in the book.
“What — what are you doing?” said Professor McGonagall, her eyes following the bouncing ferret’s progress through the air. “Teaching,” said Moody. “Teach — Moody, is that a student?” shrieked Professor McGonagall, the books spilling out of her arms. “Yep,” said Moody.
(Goblet of Fire, page 206)
I wanted to add this scene just because of the "yep" as his response to McGonagall, but this entire conversation, actually is noteworthy. Why? Well, the mannerism.
Moody whom we meet in book 5 and onwards doesn't speak or act like this. The mannerisms and speech patterns we see in this conversation are 100% Barty Crouch Jr. And this isn't the only scene in which his own mannerisms peek through because he isn't putting much effort into his act.
Here are some examples of how Moody talks in book 5, for comparison:
“Well, congratulations,” said Moody, still glaring at Ron with his normal eye, “authority figures always attract trouble, but I suppose Dumbledore thinks you can withstand most major jinxes or he wouldn’t have appointed you. . . .”
(Order of the Pheonix, page 169)
“Yeah, well,” said Moody, “there’s something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that.” “Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning,” whispered Mrs. Weasley. “ ’Course he’s worried,” growled Moody. “The boy’s seeing things from inside You-Know-Who’s snake. . . . Obviously, Potter doesn’t realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who’s possessing him —”
(Order of the Pheonix, page 491)
He's more gruff, more blunt, more paranoid. He isn't as gentle with Harry and Ron as Barty was (I'll showcase some of these moments later). And he shows full faith in Dumbledore's decisions. Something, Barty doesn't do even when pretending to be Moody.
Some Background
I want to talk about Barty's trial and Azkaban sentence for a bit, along with his relationship with his father as it explains a lot about him as a character...
and a boy in his late teens, who looked nothing short of petrified. He was shivering, his straw-colored hair all over his face, his freckled skin milk-white. The wispy little witch beside Crouch began to rock backward and forward in her seat, whimpering into her handkerchief. Crouch stood up. He looked down upon the four in front of him, and there was pure hatred in his face. “You have been brought here before the Council of Magical Law,” he said clearly, “so that we may pass judgment on you, for a crime so heinous —” “Father,” said the boy with the straw-colored hair. “Father . . . please . . .” “— that we have rarely heard the like of it within this court,” said Crouch, speaking more loudly, drowning out his son’s voice. “We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror — Frank Longbottom — and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named —” “Father, I didn’t!” shrieked the boy in chains below. “I didn’t, I swear it, Father, don’t send me back to the dementors —”
(Goblet of Fire, page 594)
Does this look like a hardened Death Eater who was happy to torture the Longbottoms and proud to serve his lord?
No, this is a terrified nineteen-year-old kid who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.
Barty continues and calls:
“Mother!” screamed the boy below, and the wispy little witch beside Crouch began to sob, rocking backward and forward. “Mother, stop him, Mother, I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me!”
...
“No! Mother, no! I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it, I didn’t know! Don’t send me there, don’t let him!”
(Goblet of Fire, page 595)
Barty calls this as Bellatrix and the Lestranges are completely calm, taking credit for torturing the Longbottoms. Shouting at Crouch Sr, that Voldemort would return. Barty isn't doing that, he isn't the fanatic Death Eaters, he's a scared boy:
But the boy was trying to fight off the dementors, even though Harry could see their cold, draining power starting to affect him. The crowd was jeering, some of them on their feet, as the woman swept out of the dungeon, and the boy continued to struggle. “I’m your son!” he screamed up at Crouch. “I’m your son!” “You are no son of mine!” bellowed Mr. Crouch, his eyes bulging suddenly. “I have no son!” The wispy witch beside him gave a great gasp and slumped in her seat. She had fainted. Crouch appeared not to have noticed. “Take them away!” Crouch roared at the dementors, spit flying from his mouth. “Take them away, and may they rot there!” “Father! Father, I wasn’t involved! No! No! Father, please!”
(Goblet of Fire, page 596)
Barty keeps swearing he wasn't involved and that he didn't do it. that it wasn't him. Compared to how calm the three Lestranges are — it's clear something's up.
I think Barty is telling the truth here. I think he really didn't torture the Longbottoms.
Barty was still acting as a scared boy, just like in his trial, even in front of only dementors and Death Eaters, when there was no need to act. He is described by Sirius when he arrived in Azkaban:
I saw the dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can’t have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine. He was screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though . . . they all went quiet in the end . . . except when they shrieked in their sleep. . . .
(Goblet of Fire, page 528)
Barty was young and scared and kept to the same behavior even with no audience to convince — which means it wasn't a lie. It wasn't an act. He really didn't do it.
Sirius talks a little bit about Braty's childhood, his relationship with Crouch Sr and the events leading up to his trial:
“Crouch’s own son was caught with a group of Death Eaters who’d managed to talk their way out of Azkaban. Apparently they were trying to find Voldemort and return him to power.”
...
“Nasty little shock for old Barty, I’d imagine. Should have spent a bit more time at home with his family, shouldn’t he? Ought to have left the office early once in a while . . . gotten to know his own son.” He began to wolf down large pieces of bread. “Was his son a Death Eater?” said Harry. “No idea,” said Sirius, still stuffing down bread. “I was in Azkaban myself when he was brought in. This is mostly stuff I’ve found out since I got out. The boy was definitely caught in the company of people I’d bet my life were Death Eaters — but he might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the house-elf.”
...
“...Crouch’s fatherly affection stretched just far enough to give his son a trial, and by all accounts, it wasn’t much more than an excuse for Crouch to show how much he hated the boy . . . then he sent him straight to Azkaban.”
(Goblet of Fire, page 528)
Barty, at the time of his trial and sentence, wasn't even for sure a Death Eater. He wasn't actually caught doing anything, he was caught with Death Eaters who escaped an Azkaban sentence, which means Death Eaters other than the Lestranges. This means he wasn't even caught on the scene of the Longbottoms torture, but somewhere else and unrelated. It proves even more that Barty was innocent regarding the torture of Frank and Alice.
We know he was a Death Eater because he could cast the Dark Mark. But, I think he wasn't involved in torturing the Longbottoms or anyone, for that matter. I don't think he had it in him before Azkaban and years of torment by his father.
The other thing of note is Crouch's treatment of his son. He was an absent father, caring more for his ministry position than his family. And we see later in GoF that Barty despises his father. I think he disliked him even before being kept under the imperious curse for years. I think that's what pushed Barty to become a Death Eater, it was something to spite his father. To create a distance between them.
His murder of his father during GoF is probably the only murder he wanted a part of. Actually, his father is the only person we know he killed. He didn't get the chance to kill the real Moody, and he never killed anyone else.
Once the boy [Barty Jr] had died, people started feeling a bit more sympathetic toward the son and started asking how a nice young lad from a good family had gone so badly astray. The conclusion was that his father never cared much for him
(Goblet of Fire, page 529)
More from Sirius that strengthens my former point. Barty joined the Death Eaters, in large to go against his father.
This vendetta against his father is the main reason I believe Barty chooses this plan to aid Voldemort. Well, there are some other reasons, but using the tournament is a good way for him to mess with his father's reputation. That same reputation that was more important to him than his own son.
As a Teacher and Mentor
A lot of fans like to say Remus Lupin was the best DADA teacher Harry had, I'd actually argue it was Moody (aka Barty). I'm saying that because Barty-as-Moody was the one who taught Harry many of the techniques and approaches he keeps going back to in the books.
The constant vigilance that saves him multiple times is from Barty, not the real Moody.
His resistance to the imperious curse.
When Harry quotes Moody in his head under certain situations for the advice he was given, it's not advice from the real Moody but from Barty:
He raised the cup to his lips and then, just as suddenly, lowered it. One of the horrible painted kittens behind Umbridge had great round blue eyes just like Mad-Eye Moody’s magical one, and it had just occurred to Harry what Mad-Eye would say if he ever heard that Harry had drunk anything offered by a known enemy
(Order of the Phoenix, page 630)
This above quote is based on Barty's advice in GoF, not the real Moody.
Barty made Harry think of becoming an auror. He was the one who convinced him he could become one:
“You ever thought of a career as an Auror, Potter?” “No,” said Harry, taken aback. “You want to consider it,” said Moody, nodding and looking at Harry thoughtfully. “Yes, indeed . . . and incidentally . . . I’m guessing you weren’t just taking that egg for a walk tonight?” “Er — no,” said Harry, grinning. “I’ve been working out the clue.” Moody winked at him, his magical eye going haywire again. “Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas, Potter. . . . See you in the morning. . . .”
(Goblet of Fire, pages 477-478)
Barty did more for Harry's self-esteem than any other teacher.
“Now, that’s more like it!” growled Moody’s voice, and suddenly, Harry felt the empty, echoing feeling in his head disappear. He remembered exactly what was happening, and the pain in his knees seemed to double. “Look at that, you lot ... Potter fought! He fought it, and he damn near beat it! We’ll try that again, Potter, and the rest of you, pay attention — watch his eyes, that’s where you see it — very good, Potter, very good indeed! They’ll have trouble controlling you!”
(Goblet of Fire, page 232)
In the above scene, Barty is delighted by Harry's resistance of the imperious. He is so proud and fond. I already mentioned and will continue showing how Barty did very little acting when he pretended to be Moody, as such, I don't think he's pretending here either. I think he actually is delighted.
And, I mean, think about it, why would a servant loyal to Voldemort teach Harry Potter how to resist the imperius? Why would he keep practicing with him throughout the year to make sure he was good at it? Why make sure Harry knows people would want to control him and he should make it hard for them?
The only conclusion I can come to is that he is trying to help Harry from a limited position. Why and How will be discussed later.
Neville was standing alone, halfway up the passage, staring at the stone wall opposite him with the same horrified, wide-eyed look he had worn when Moody had demonstrated the Cruciatus Curse. “Neville?” Hermione said gently. “Neville, what — ?” But an odd clunking noise sounded behind them, and they turned to see Professor Moody limping toward them. All four of them fell silent, watching him apprehensively, but when he spoke, it was in a much lower and gentler growl than they had yet heard. “It’s all right, sonny,” he said to Neville. “Why don’t you come up to my office? Come on . . . we can have a cup of tea. ...” Neville looked even more frightened at the prospect of tea with Moody. He neither moved nor spoke. Moody turned his magical eye upon Harry. “You all right, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, almost defiantly. Moody’s blue eye quivered slightly in its socket as it surveyed Harry. Then he said, “You’ve got to know. It seems harsh, maybe, but you’ve got to know. No point pretending ... well ... come on, Longbottom, I’ve got some books that might interest you.”
(Goblet of Fire, page 219)
And he wasn't only the best DADA teacher for Harry, he was the best teacher for Neville too. He actually helped the son of the Longbottoms he was sent to Azkaban for torturing.
Just, he is the only adult attempting to build up Neville's confidence in himself and his abilities. He encourages Neville's love of Herbology and doesn't ridicule him like most other adults in Neville's life.
Also in the above quote, he clearly wants to tell Harry more. "but you’ve got to know", he says. He is trying to prepare Harry for what's to come. Why would he do that if he wants him dead?
As a Defender of Harry
To continue off Barty actually steps up to defend Harry a lot throughout the book. Even at times, he won't necessarily have to. I mean, the real Moody was never this protective of Harry. Sure, he kept him safe, but he didn't really care for Harry's feelings and self-esteem. Barty did.
“Yeah, that’s Harry Potter,” said a growling voice from behind them. Professor Karkaroff spun around. Mad-Eye Moody was standing there, leaning heavily on his staff, his magical eye glaring unblinkingly at the Durmstrang headmaster. The color drained from Karkaroff’s face as Harry watched. A terrible look of mingled fury and fear came over him
(Goblet of Fire, page 258)
He's scaring Karkaroff and the Durmstrang students away from Harry. The moment before this quote had the Durmstrang students and Karkaroff noticing Harry for the first time as they were leaving the Great Hall on the day they arrived at Hogwarts. They all freeze and stare at Harry, knowing his story and probably about to ask him questions, it's not like Karkaroff would've done anything in the Great Hall. But Moody (Barty) steps in to fend off Harry's discomfort! Hes not even in actual physical danger! Just discomfort!
Harry hesitated. He’d been afraid of this — but he hadn’t told Cedric, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell Moody, that Hagrid had broken the rules. “It’s all right,” said Moody, sitting down and stretching out his wooden leg with a groan. “Cheating’s a traditional part of the Tri-wizard Tournament and always has been.” “I didn’t cheat,” said Harry sharply. “It was — a sort of accident that I found out.” Moody grinned. “I wasn’t accusing you, laddie. I’ve been telling Dumbledore from the start, he can be as high-minded as he likes, but you can bet old Karkaroff and Maxime won’t be. They’ll have told their champions everything they can. They want to win. They want to beat Dumbledore. They’d like to prove he’s only human.”
(Goblet of Fire, pages 343-344)
Moody is glad Harry knows about the dragons, and that could be explained by wanting him to win so he could get to the graveyard (that plan had so many problems in it that I'll get to later) but that isn't the only thing he reveals here. He calls out Dumbledore and his attitude. He shows his dislike towards Dumbledore and his moral flexibility regarding cheating - two things the real Moody will never say. And he would definitely not phrase them like this. This whole conversation — that's all Barty.
Barty, who is actually encouraging Harry and belittling Dumbledore.
That sentence about proving Dumbledore's human, I think Barty shares that feeling. He agrees with the other headmasters on that. Even if he hates Karkaroff's guts.
Because he actually does hate all the Death Eaters that got away genuinely, but not for the same reasons as, let's say, Bellatrix. Bellatrix dislikes them for their lack of loyalty to their lord; Barty hates them out of envy.
Barty was sent to Azkaban for his mark even if he never tortured or killed anyone. And these other Death Eaters, ones he might know killed or tortured, got out scott-free. He was fought alongside them and still sent to the dementors instead of being let go. And he is bitter.
Also, important to remember, that a year in Azkaban and then twelve years under the Imperius curse didn't leave him unscathed. He is not mentally or emotionally well or anything close to it when we meet him in the books.
“Well, I’m not going to tell you,” said Moody gruffly. “I don’t show favoritism, me. I’m just going to give you some good, general advice. And the first bit is — play to your strengths.” “I haven’t got any,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “Excuse me,” growled Moody, “you’ve got strengths if I say you’ve got them. Think now. What are you best at?”
(Goblet of Fire, page 344)
I love this scene. Like, this is the first ever time an adult with authority, a teacher, tells Harry how great he is. I talked about the fact Harry is clever and magically powerful but has really low self-esteem. And Barty actually argues with him. Bart (as Moody) makes him believe he could become something. That he has things he is good at.
One of this book's antagonists is the first person to tell Harry he has strengths. That's just all levels of messed up.
It shows Barty Crouch Jr actually does more for Harry's emotional well-being than any other professor he had. More than McGonagall, more than Lupin. Actually, the only adult who tries to help Harry with more care than Barty, is Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. It's just insane that Barty, a Death Eater, actually understood Harry and went out of his way to help with his insecurities and make him comfortable more than Molly Weasley did.
Now, let's talk about the Farret Incident because it's interesting too. both regarding his defense of Harry and his hatred of the Death Eaters that got away.
“I don’t think so!” roared Moody, pointing his wand at the ferret again — it flew ten feet into the air, fell with a smack to the floor, and then bounced upward once more. “I don’t like people who attack when their opponent’s back’s turned,” growled Moody as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. “Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do. ...”
(Goblet of Fire, page 205)
Barty steps in to defend Harry because he does it a lot. It's why I placed this moment in this section. One would expect someone who wants Harry to die to not mind if he was cursed a bit, it's not like Draco was about to kill him, but no, he defends him even when no one sees him there.
But specifically in this incident, I want to mention how personal he gets about this. Barty's disdain towards the Death Eaters that escaped Azkaban is very real and very dangerous to Draco. He's furious they didn't need to spend a year in hell on earth only to then be enslaved by a curse for 12 years by their father who kept them like a dirty secret in the basement.
As I mentioned above, I don't think Barty is mentally sound, but I think he genuinely cares about Harry and didn't torture the Longbottoms.
In the next post, I go through the final scene of Barty in the book, and explain the whole plan Barty had.
Part 2 >>
#harry potter#harry potter thoughts#wizarding world#harry potter theory#hollowedtheory#hp theory#overthinking#first wizarding war#death eaters#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#goblet of fire#harry potter and the goblet of fire#gof#barty analysis#bartemius crouch jr#bartemius crouch junior#hp meta#hp thoughts#harry potter meta
78 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I just wanted to say that I love your show! I think it's one of the most unique shows in the OSC. To the art style, and the entire concept in general! I'm excited to see more episodes as they come out and I'm looking forward to seeing how the story unfolds.❤️❤️❤️
I also wanted to ask why people see this show as "controversial"? Ive seen from another anon talking about how this show has caused discourse on Twitter. And I'm curious on why? (But you don't have to answer if it makes you feel uncomfortable! I don't wanna put pressure on you when you already have a lot of it!)
☢ Hello!! Thank you very much for your support and kind words!
☢ To be honest, I don’t really understand why there’s so much hate and discussion :( ☢ I've never had a fight with anyone in the community. As a hypersensitive and vulnerable autistic person, I cannot stand even the slightest conflict and toxicity. ☢ All I know is that a lot of people don't like the big age difference between Chief and Cracklin, even though they are both grown men (23 and 48 years old). I saw that some people were spreading misinformation under other people’s posts and Tik Tok edits that Cracklin is a minor and asking people not to support me and my project. But I don’t know these people at all :( ☢ I've also seen some comments where people hate Cracklin and think he's an ugly freak who makes them feel uncomfortable. Also, some people don't like my drawing style because of the characters' facial hair and "scary" eyes. ☢ Tbh, I don't want anyone to bully or attack these people. I hate conflicts. I would prefer that everyone make peace and be friends. But I really wish they wouldn't spread misinformation about Cracklin's age.
#ion object show#investigation of object nuclearity#i.o.n.#ion#и.о.н.#ион обджект шоу#object shows#cracklin ion#osc community#object show#osc#object show community
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
To make this clear, Old Mayhem and me NEVER attacked one another.
There's no animosity going on between me and her. Although in the same 'fandom', our blogs exist separately and don't overlap. This doesn't mean hatred. This simply means a different public. The effort that me and her seems to put in the content that we create is massive, so as I said before, I will say I again, be a decent person and don't spread misinformation about what my dynamic between me and her is like. Also, don't spread hateful messages in anyone's inbox about how 'shit their art is' or 'how dare you not like this blog??' Because you NEVER know if the person who reads it has s*****e thoughts and the LAST THING that they read is your spiteful message. It happened with me before, and I wouldn't wish this feeling even on the worst people in my life.
This is all I had to say regarding Old Mayhem.
Now, I want to address the real issue who's name I didn't mention until now, Kelma 69, the one blog who's proud description is 'Getting rid of weird Mayhem fans, mostly from Pelle's fans'.
I don't even have to add anything about this description, her malicious 'witch hunt' intentions are more than obvious and the fact that I seem to be her number one target is sending a shiver down my spine.
I don't have an issue with people who block me and move on with their lives, this is normal, it's expected. But I have an issue with someone who blocks me and keeps endlessly talking about me with every chance they've got, so I want to ask her why?
I never interacted with her before, yet she comes across so vicious about my art and fiction for seemingly no reason other than envy.
Of cause that you're entitled to your own opinion, of course that you don't have to like me, this is absolutely alright, but you should assume your words instead of hiding behind blogs that had been here long before you or 'adjusting' your statements to how it seems more convenient for you.
Calling my art 'crap', than saying 'I'm not insulting the artist' is blatantly lying with proofs on her own page.
Also, the fact that she was both following me and my other artist friends, liking our 'Vargelle' fanarts until someone brought this to her attention and she suddenly blocked me and my friends is a 'getting caught' behaviour. I can understand that she may had liked those fanarts because of Pelle's design, as she mentioned at one point, but some of those drawings didn't even had Pelle's face in it, so how does this work? She also liked fanarts of Varg (alone) even if she hates Varg more than anything, so was this for his 'design' too? Is it?
Also, her parasitic tendency to accociate herself with Old Mayhem to seem relevant, to gain attention and admiration denote very evident deceiving and manipulating tactics.
Another aspect of her double-faced behaviour is the fact that she presents herself as 'shy' when she has no problem whatsoever getting rid of what might step out of her appreciation area. Shyness doesn't come with blunt insults and a covert need for conflict and drama. Shy people doesn't seek reactions, they don't go out to hate on people to boost up their ego and shy people DON'T throw the 'you just play the victim' card whenever they can't find solid arguments against their accusation.
Is calling out someone's falsehood the equivalent of 'playing' the victim? Is this the way to wash your hands clean from taking responsibility?
The fact that you won't allow a conversation to take place and once you consider that 'you're done playing your game' you pull out, just shows how unwilling you are to recognise what you've done.
I hope everyone can leave behind this senseless drama. I'm so sick and tired talking like a broken record about these things.
Live and let live. There's so much to do in life other than being angry about fiction, trust me.
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Send help
Ok, way out of pocket again, but help. Due to the new season, I get so much Sebasciel content flooded onto my page and I HATE it. I literally saw an art piece of a 13 year old getting head.
I.
Fucking.
Hate.
It.
No amount of words in both the German and English language are enough to make room for my sheer hatred of that ship. I hate so much you might as well call me AM.
What makes you look at those two and think: "Oh, yes, this is very ok to ship and make sexual content of"? My siblings in Satan's name, I can't even think of that without heading into an existential crisis. I had to recover solid 10 minutes after seeing that. I wish I could unsee what I saw. I'd bleach my eyes out if I wouldn't still need them. (Yes, I know that I can block tags and I even did that, yet it still ends up on my page...)
Can someone please come and pick little Inco up from the playground? They're scared and scarred.
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#black butler sebastian michaelis#kuroshitsuji sebastian#black butler ciel#ciel phantomhive
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts I had while watching episodes 6-8 of Bridgerton Season 3. Yes, I finally watched all of Bridgerton. Yes, I have many thoughts about episode 5, but I need more time to compose them. Don't read more if you don't want spoilers.
Episode 6
-Yay Francesca & Lord Kilmartin. I adore this couple almost as much as Polin.
-Eloise & Pen's first real talk in Pen's bedroom. Maybe they'll get their friendship healed.
-Violet & Lord Anderson 😍
-Why does Lady Danbury despise her brother?
-That little dance in the church 😍😍😍
-I get why Cressida did what she did. I would've done anything to avoid marrying an old creepy dinosaur as well. But she just makes everything worse and worse.
-That talk between Portia & Pen. I suspect it is supposed to be sweet, but I hate it, especially after seeing how things have been in the past. I don't trust or like Portia.
-Violet unable to show Francesca & John the same level of excitement & love as she gives Polin is hard to watch.
-Pen's sisters suck.
-I really, really, REALLY wish Colin had known the truth before he proposed & they had sex. That is something they changed from the book, and not for the better.
-Oh lord, Cressida is a horrid writer & both she & her mom know it 😬
-Benedict is not handling Anthony buying his place at the art school well. I hate that Benedict is denying his creative abilities. The man has talent and he's so hurt and doesn't believe in himself anymore, and it hurts to watch.
-I think what I hate most about Portia treating Pen decently is the fact that I can't believe it will last, nor do I think that Portia is being genuine. I think this is all cause she's trying to keep Colin's favor. And it frustrates me. Because Pen deserves better.
-The unfolding flower thing was cool.
-Oh boy, I feel so bad for Francesca. She just wants to be with John & be happy. Definitely bringing up some feels from my own engagement.
-Lady Danbury & her brother 😔
-i hate aimless Benedict.
-Colin twirling Pen is everything. I love happy twirling.
-I really appreciate the deaf representation this season.
-Cressida's red dress would be stunning if not for that horrendous giant bow.
-Colin is going to be writing so much smut for Pen. I guarantee it.
-Pen not wanting Cressida to take credit for all her hard work, boy do I feel that.
-I get that the queen is supposed to stand out from everyone else, but her dresses seem to be from a completely different time period. Like, I know that the costumes aren't necessarily period accurate, but wouldn't everyone be trying to match the queen's style of dress?
-Peneloise ❤️❤️❤️
-Ok, writing with a quill & ink in a carriage seems next to impossible to write something legible.
-Colin's face on discovering the truth 😔
Episode 7
-This fight. Oh god, Colin's crying. Pen's crying. I'm crying. This is brutal.
-Pen's issue of LW calling out Cressida 10/10.
-I've said it before and I'll say it again. I would watch the Lady Danbury & Violet show.
-Colin & Eloise's talk ❤️
-Really, Colin? You are the one who was alone with Pen countless times, constantly sought her out at events, ruined Debling's proposal, left her without prospects, & she "entrapped" you? I think not.
-I can't decide what I feel about the Tilley & Benedict & Paul storyline. Was it necessary?
-Flustered Violet getting called on by Lord Anderson is adorable.
-At least Cressida seems to feel so e remorse, though if they go the book route she will be all blackmaily by the end of this episode or the beginning of next.
-"Our mother adores you!". Benedict I love you.
-I really like the Mondrich family. Will loves his wife so much.
-I love Genevieve & Pen & wish we had more interactions between them.
-"No such thing as true love without first embracing your true self.". I think I need that on a shirt.
-As a very short girl, I love that they show Pen standing on raised areas to be more eye level with Colin.
-I'm glad Pen called him out.
-Welp he really was going to try to finger her on the street. Poor boy is so in love & horny even when he's mad 😅
-Kate & Anthony sitting Colin down 🥹
-Kate. I just. I love her.
-The little wave Anthony gives Kate as she leaves him alone with Colin 😍
-I am glad Lady Danbury & her brother are clearing the air.
-Lord Greer with the mansplaining of a nom de plume.
-Colin when he sees Pen in her wedding dress 🥹🥹🥹
-OMSquee that veil 😍😍😍
-I know people go on about the carriage scene, but the wedding vows are so beautifully done. I will be rewatching that many, many times.
-Holding hands. I love it!
-Pen's sisters being nice is just as weird to watch as it is for Pen to experience.
-"A lot of dust in here too" 🥺😅
-So they're shipping Kate & Anthony off to India?
-Oh, Pen, I too know those feelings of new husband off talking to others and ignoring you during the reception. It sucks.
-I love the shot of them dancing with no one else around.
-Anthony, do not ruin your mom's chance at happiness. I will be very cross with you if you do.
-The queen interrupting what should've been a Polin kiss 🤬
-I get that she's the queen, but this is shitty behavior.
-Eloise is proving to have learned to be a better friend, and I'm proud of her. That hug ❤️
-This is the season of Polin and on Polin's wedding night we have Benedict's threesome? Really? I don't mind the threesome, I applaud Benedict embracing his bi-ness, but couldn't they have done that in another episode?
-Great, Cressida is up to no good again.
Episode 8
-Colin, Colin, Colin. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
-Rae with the promotion to housekeeper. She deserves it.
-Yup, they're going with the blackmail plot. They kept that from the book, but didn't have Colin learn the truth of LW before the carriage make-out & proposal? I am definitely salty about some of the choices this season.
-Cressida, I get that you are at the end of your rope and are making poor life choices, but I really hoped that you'd grown as a person.
-The love I have for Lady Danbury is more than I can express.
-Also, that is a gorgeous chess set.
-Phillipa & Prudence's husbands. These poor guys.
-Francesca, I too long for the quiet.
-These threesome scenes seem almost as unnecessary as Colin's brothel scenes in part 1.
-Ok, Colin, your speech is beautiful, but you don't know how shitty Cressida's dad is. But also, that defense speech ❤️❤️❤️
-Peneloise is back and I love it.
-I am done with this fucking threesome. I am here for Polin content. They couldn't have waited for Benedict's season to do this???
-Lady Danbury & Violet ❤️❤️❤️
-And more of the threesome. I am beyond done with it.
-Oh, Polin the separate sleeping arrangements 😔
-THE LETTERS.
-Oh hey, they're not going to leave the solicitor as a dangling plot thread. Wondered if we'd get more from him.
-Francesca & Violet ❤️❤️❤️
-Violet & Lord Anderson. They are absolutely precious.
-The piano duet ❤️
-"The house is far too warm.". 😳🙄😳🙄
-THIS IS NOT BENEDICT'S SEASON. I'M SO FRUSTRATED. POLIN SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE SCREENTIME.
-Ok, but I am so happy for more Benedict & Eloise on the swings. I've missed that this season.
-Pen's family does not deserve her.
-Oh, Pen, you have me in tears.
-Colin is so proud and in love 😍
-I really enjoy Finch.
-Well, with the blessing of Lady Danbury all is much better.
-"That was bloody brilliant." 🥹🥹🥹
-Violet dancing 🥹🥹🥹
-Did Francesca just fall for her husband's cousin???
-What was that??? 6 seconds of Polin smut? So much Benedict threesome and we get barely any Polin? Boo, I say. Boo.
-These babies are all giant.
Season 3 Part 1: Very Rewarchable
Season 3 Part 2: Oof.
#Random thoughts I had#Bridgerton#Bridgerton Season 3#Bridgerton Spoilers#colin x penelope#peneloise#penelope featherington#penelope bridgerton#colin bridgerton#lady whistledown#polin
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was asked to answer as many of these questions as are applicable to me, which seems a great way to take my mind off election day stress, so here we go!
What do you enjoy the most about omorashi & pee desperation? It's About The Vulnerability. a grown man reduced to childlike behavior by his body's needs, all composure lost in the fight to contain himself, only for it to end in soaked humiliation? perfect, beautiful, delicious, i'll take twelve
What do you like to see in the aftermath of an accident? CRYING. blushing is also good. embarrassment in general.
What kink pairs best with omorashi or pee desperation for you? ageplay! it makes me a little sad that i seem to be in a minority as someone who loves omo and ageplay but not diapers. ideally i want the little to be roleplaying as somewhere between the ages of 5 and 10--too old for diapers, and therefore old enought to be properly embarrassed at having an accident.
Do you prefer being desperate to pee, or seeing others desperate? seeing others desperate, no question. my own bladder is an annoyance at best.
Have you ever made someone else wet themselves? yes! it was extremely fun and i want to do it lots more.
Do you prefer when people groan from relief, or whimper from embarrassment? whimper from embarrassment!
Do you like tiny leaks, big gushing leaks, or no leaking at all? leaks of any size are hot. no leaking followed by everything coming out at once is also hot. basically if the pants are wet i am happy
Do you prefer more extreme desperation with a 'just made it' ending, or mild desperation with wetting? wetting is preferable to making it, always.
Are there any words or phrases in omo that get you weak at the knees? "i wet my pants" is my absolute favorite. "i can't hold it" and "i'm not gonna make it" and "too late" are also extremely good.
Name an under-appreciated omorashi trope. as mentioned above, omo combined with ageplay without the addition of diapers is something i would like to see a lot more of.
Name a kink you’re on the fence about, and explain why. potty training. it doesn't not appeal to me, but since i love wet pants so much, it's not my go-to fantasy. it's got definite possibilities, though--like, telling a sub they haven't earned the use of the grown-up toilet, so they have to go in the potty chair if they want to go at all, and then seeing if they choose to debase themself by doing that, or by holding it until they wet their pants.
What’s something you fantasize about, but would hate in real life? i often fantasize about entirely taking away someone's toilet privileges, but in real life, solid waste (which is not my kink) would be an issue. (my fantasies have science-fictional workarounds for this.) i also like to imagine making guys wet themselves in public indoor settings, but that's something i wouldn't want to inflict on service workers.
What type of porn does the world need more of? men in clothes with openings at the butt wetting themselves while getting fucked from behind, please.
What omo trope do you know is cliche or unrealistic, but you love anyway? i love contrived setups for situational omo. yes girl, give me a convoluted sequence of events concocted for the sole purpose of making blorbo wet his pants
What's something you only see in animated porn or fictional erotica that you wish was possible in real life? i love the thing in omo art of visual gauges representing how bad someone has to go. the psychological element of desperation intrigues me, and i wish i had a kind of telepathy for this specific purpose alone.
How do you feel about fear wetting? i've been known to go gaga for it in fiction (hello, otacon) but the problem is it often comes out of nowhere with no desperation buildup. if we do get some desperation beforehand, then fuck yeah.
How do you feel about bed-wetting? again, often no desperation buildup, especially if the wetter is asleep when it happens--although the embarrassment when they wake up can still be quite good. if they're awake, though--like, say, if a sub woke me up in the middle of the night to ask for permission to go pee, and i didn't give it to him, and kept him pinned to the mattress until he peed all over both of us? now we're talking.
How do you feel about bathroom schedules or needing permission to pee? pretty much my favorite way to engage with this kink as a dom, especially the needing permission.
Do you like watersports/golden showers? i'd be lying if i said i hadn't thought about it, but it's not my go-to. i'd be willing to give it a try if a sub really wanted it.
What is the wildest pee fantasy you ever had that actually came true? well, as i said, i've made people wet themselves. which is not all that wild, i suppose, but that alone was something i once thought i'd never do. getting comfortable with the fact that i am Into This was a whole process, from "this is ONLY something i fantasize about" to "okay maybe i want to try it in real life" to "i would do this literally all of the time if i could," but now that i'm here, where i can not only talk to people about this but even sometimes get them to play with me, i gotta say it's pretty awesome, and i never take it for granted. life gets way more fun when you unlearn shame.
Name one pee-related turn-on and one turn-off you have. turn-on: when they won't shut up about how bad they have to go. turn-off: manly expressions of rage.
Dramatic pee dance, or denying their desperation? DRAMATIC PEE DANCE yes please always
Jeans wetting or skirt wetting? jeannnnsssss
Athletic uniform or business uniform? business uniform. in my day-to-day life, i emphatically Don't Sports, so i don't like to go there in my fantasy life either, even though i've thought on multiple occasions that it would make a great fantasy setting, what with the potential for public humiliation and locker room tenderness. if i were gonna go there, i think i'd go with baseball. those cute little uniforms are just begging to get peed in. ANYWAY, i have a particular fondness for business casual--khakis just don't hide anything--but a suit is also super fun, what with all the additional clothing items that can get wet.
Naked holding or cozy casual holding? i will take any clothing over none. naked omo is pointless to me
Do you pee in the shower? yes. fun fact, i used to be physically unable to pee unless my ass was touching a toilet seat, but then when i was twentysomething i strategically trained myself out of that, so now i ritualistically pee in the shower because i can. and then when i was unhoused i got really good at peeing outside. last hurdle: mastering an stp device
Do you pee in the water when you go swimming? ...oh yeah, and i still can't seem to pee while submerged
Do you or would you pee in front of a date or partner? yeah, assuming my bladder cooperated. i've done it in front of my current primary
Whats your safe-word? i use the stoplight system. if it ain't broke don't fix it
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time for more John Juniper analysis because I am so normal about this man.
Edit: this was posted on April Fools, below the cut is an analysis of Commander Solaris, not JJ
Commander Solaris fascinates me as a character and I wish she was treated as more than just "fabricator's girlfriend" in the fandom sometimes. I love the ship, let's go sciency lesbians, but Solaris is just. Such chaotic neutral with a fascinating dynamic with Zoraxis and even Zor themselves and I love it.
Firstly, we see that above everything else, she prioritizes a love of science and discovery over all, I'd venture to say that Solaris is actually the most dedicated to specifically her field. While the others have the desire for art or revenge or loyalty to Zoraxis as motivators to their passions, Solaris is just all lasers all the time. That's not to say she won't work on other things, it's implied that she invented the Death Engine all on her own which means she has to know how to create or at least implement the gravity controls and life support systems, but at the end of the day it was all in the name of having a giant fuck off space laser.
She also hates it when things expedite the process in regards to her science. On the Death Engine, before the agent is revealed, you can hear her say "Automatic computer?! Who wouldn't want to do their own computing??" I think Prism and Solaris would actually bump heads about this a lot if they were ever set up to work together, despite the fact that they're both scientists, Solaris really has an almost old-fashioned approach when it comes to her scientific advancements. She shows a disdain for computers doing the heavy lifting and doesn't trust them in regards to cybersecurity, which is shown when the agent opens the crate that holds the station's manual override of the armature outside the shuttle. "Ugh, I knew people wouldn't take z-mail security seriously..."
It's clearly stated on her file that she is not with Zoraxis due to a loyalty to them or some power grab, she is simply with them because they are a means to an end. So long as Zoraxis provides what she needs, she will give them her inventions and help make pieces for death traps in the name of furthering her studies and working without restrictions. Her file says she believes in the "life altering" properties of lasers- though I do wonder if that means changing life while one is living or if it's just able to alter a life to... not alive-
We also see that unlike the others, she doesn't respect Zor as anything more than her employer. When Zor calls her, she's surprised and irritated.
"Doctor Zor... what a- uh... unexpected surprise..."
While she's initially confused, as the conversation goes on she gets angrier.
"That's hardly my problem, is it?.... I'll take care of it I suppose. Understood. I said I understand!"
While she respects that Zor is her employer and she does have to do what they say, she doesn't respect them as an authority to fear. She's short with them, straight up snapping at the doctor by the end of the phone call, which shows that she does not fear Zor in the same way others would. Many people would not lash out at someone known for their ability to get people killed, especially when its shown Zor doesn't give a damn if you're a low level miner or a high ranking doctor.
Solaris just straight up doesn't give a fuck until Zor says something, which could range from "it's your job" to "I'll cut your funding" to "I have a button down here that will kill you with poisoned gas" knowing them. Either way Solaris needed a slight push to try and actually kill the agent.
She's also just all around got this funny, spunky side to her that I wish we saw more of. She has a disdain for orange juice because it's all they can drink on the space station, she approves of the agent doing risky but efficient science with the meat can, when you grab the screw drill thing she is so excited because she initially thinks it's a blaster that she's been trying to get the design approved for, only to be so disappointed when it's not. She’s got a dry as hell sense of humor that relies mostly on sarcasm and will make fun of you if you start to accidentally kill yourself.
Then when we cut to IEYTD 2, while there’s not any dialogue directly from Solaris, we do hear Fabricator’s side of a call between them.
In it, we hear that Solaris is not mad at the agent for nearly killing her, she’s mad that they ruined her work. It also seems Zor’s likely not letting her pursue her passion, as Fabricator mockingly calls out how something isn’t fair, and then pushes Solaris into looking into new projects. That Death Engine was likely a five year labor of love that Phoenix destroyed in ten minutes, and Solaris is pissed. Rightfully so, frankly.
We also see that Solaris and Fabricator disagree to some extent on the purpose of their inventions, Fabricator having a note that calls out how “inelegant” Solaris is. This shows that while Solaris and Fabricator are both heavy hitters for Zor, they have very different motivations for why they make the things they do, Fabricator makes her death traps as a form of art that has to be presentable, Solaris makes them as a means to an end for her laser projects, which are likely crude and functional more than artistically inclined.
This does go to show that while Solaris and Fabricator are willing to confide in one another, they also don’t agree on likely many things. Be it the purpose, the portrayal, or the motivation to their work, they have fundamentally different stances on what they do and why they do it.
I don’t believe Solaris left Zoraxis in some big declaration or out of a sudden spur of empathy, I think Zoraxis just can’t provide what she wants anymore. She did not leave Zoraxis because she hates Zor or feels remorse for killing, Zoraxis just had to go underground so she couldn’t do things like make giant orbital space lasers. It’s very clear her position in Zoraxis is conditional on the terms that she can unabashedly pursue her laser research, and with Zoraxis having to go underground, Zor likely cut her resources.
She wiped her hands just clean enough to ditch someone who wasn’t providing any benefits for her before retiring and trying to drop off the face of the earth and dream on what could have been in the country side.
And if you read this far and are still wondering what the hell this has to do with John Juniper, happy April Fool's :)
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
not alone
pairing: seo changbin x gender neutral reader
genre: angst, comfort – MDNI
synopsis: it's getting bad again and changbin knows so he comforts you the best he can, reminding you that you're 'not alone'
warnings: mental health, general feeling of very low moods, established relationship, pet names, negative emotions, soft ending
words: 1.7k ~ (1762)
☆ m.list — ☆ you can also read it on my ao3
dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
it's getting bad again.
your old habits are creeping up on you and as much as you don't want them to, you have no choice but to let them.
you look down at your digital sketch, hate, resentment and anger seeping from your pores. you hate it, you hate it so much you're tempted to erase it and start all over again.
you snap a quick picture, sending it to your friends in hopes that their words would help soothe your overbearing thoughts. when you see notifications pop up here and there, friends telling you how talented of an artist you are, it does soothe you–to some extent
however, that side is telling you differently. you know they mean well, you know their words are filled with love and that they truly mean what they say, but you can't help but feel like they pity you, just saying things you want to hear to make you feel better.
you don't want to hate your art. art is what you love most, finding inspiration from everything and anything. you tried one more time to fall in love with your current piece before giving up after you feel yourself getting angry at trying to fix the same wonky line.
“that's enough for today.” you mumble to yourself, leaning back in your chair. your phone pings, a message from changbin pops up. you press your lips together, placing your phone screen side down on the desk. “sorry binnie, not today.”
you chew on your bottom lip, the sound of your phone constantly vibrating causing you to get anxious as well as annoyed. letting out a hefty sigh, you pick up your phone to see that changbin has called you 4 times and left dozens of messages.
“I said, not today.” you grumble, throwing your phone on your bed. it lands with a soft bounce as you rub your face with your hands.
you gather the remainder of your energy to push yourself up off your seat. you drag your tired body to the kitchen, rummaging around in the cupboards in hopes to get some inspiration on what to eat. your mind runs on blanks, your mood dipping lower and lower.
you're tired. not psychically, mentally. you don't want to feel like this and you wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy. at times like this it's easy for you to isolate yourself, stay locked up in your bedroom and sleep the days away–but a certain someone won't allow that to happen.
as you make your way to the bedroom to bury yourself under the blankets and watch some corny series, a knock at the door is brought to your attention. your brows furrow together, anxiety creeping its way up to the back of your throat.
who could that possibly be? you weren't expecting a delivery nor company. the thought of company drained you even more, if that was even possible.
you look through the peephole, sighing softly before opening the door to let in your boyfriend.
“why haven't you been returning my calls or messages?” he asks, looking at you as you close the door.
you swallow, looking down as you play with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie. you chew your lip, guilt sinking in along with the tens of thousands negative emotions you're feeling right now.
he knows. you don’t have to say anything. he's observant. he softly sighs, wrapping his arms around your frame and pulling you into his broad chest.
“it's bad again, huh?” his voice is so soft, making your resolve crumble. you grip onto his clothing tightly, eyes squeezing shut as tears suddenly fall down your cheeks like a waterfall.
“hey, it's okay. binnie's here, binnie's got you.” he wraps his strong arms around you, rocking you side to side as his fingers comb through your hair slowly. he hushes you, kissing your head gently. the material of his own hoodie getting soaked in your tears and snot.
your uncontrollable sobs shake your body, uneven breathing as you choke on your saliva and tears.
“hey hey hey.” changbin pulls away for a split second to cup your cheeks in his hands. you look up at him, lashes wet, eyes red and puffy as your cheeks are stained. “breathe baby, remember to breathe”
you look at him, coping his motions and techniques. you breath in, count to ten before slowly letting out your breath. you feel your heart rate slow down, mind feeling somewhat calmer.
“well done, darling.” he whispers before pulling you back into his chest. you bury your face into his hoodie, clinging to him like a new born baby as you inhale his scent that helps calm you down.
“why didn't you call or text me, baby?”
“i don't… i don't know, binnie.” you whisper, the same guilty feeling resuming and sinking in your stomach heavily.
“what have i told you in the past?” you look up at him with a sad pout, sniffling softly.
“t-to call you when i start feeling bad again…”
“mhm.” changbin hums, wiping away your tears and snot with the sleeve of his hoodie
“a-are you mad at me, binnie…?” you whisper, swallowing. you hope he isn't however you wouldn't blame him if he was. you did promise him and you broke it, it'd be understandable if he was.
“no, i'm not mad, baby. why would I be?”
“because i promised and i broke it…”
“that doesn't matter, baby. what matters is that i'm here now and i'm going to care for you.” you nod slowly, pulling away from his grip as you take deep breaths
“first things first, get dressed.” you look at him with a blank expression on your face.
“why?”
“we're going out.” you sigh deeply, shoulders slumping.
“binnie, i–”
“not asking, i'm telling and i won't take no as an answer. i'll give you 10 minutes and we're leaving, whether you're ready or not.” you nod once before dragging your body to the bedroom.
you settled on jeans and one of changbin's oversized sweaters, ruffling your hair to make it look better before walking back to him.
“ready?”
“i guess.” you shrug.
“let's go then.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
changbin took you to an embankment next to a river. the sun is slowly setting, saying goodbye to the world before the moon and her children appear to light up the night sky.
you stare into the sunset, watching it slowly sink. the orange, yellow haze of the sky makes you feel warm, reminding you of summer. you wrap your arms around your knees, holding them close to you as a cold breeze suddenly hits.
“here.” changbin takes off the jacket he was wearing over his hoodie, placing it around your shoulders.
“thanks.” you weakly smile at him, before resting your chin on your hand.
“why didn't you call me, babe?” you shrug, swallowing a burning lump in your throat.
“because it's easier if i don't talk about it. it's not real that way.”
“but you shouldn't have to struggle with this alone, darling.”
“i-i know but i don't want to be a burden. it's bad enough i have to live with it. i don't want to push it onto others as well.”
“when we got together, what was the first thing i said to you?”
you clench your jaw, furiously blinking back tears as your bottom lip quivers. changbin smiles softly, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close to his side.
“t-that i'm not alone.” your voice breaks, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“exactly. so you shouldn't suffer alone, babe. i'm always here for you just like everyone else around you because we care and treasure you!”
“but what if… what if you get sick of me and leave? what if i'm too much for you?”
“you'll never, ever be too much for me babe. you're stuck with me forever. life works in mysterious ways. sometimes it treats us well and sometimes it treats us like shit, that we cannot help. however–” he pauses, taking your hand in his gently. “–it's how we deal with the rough that makes a difference. sure, you can go back home, bury yourself in your duvet and isolate yourself from everyone, but what good will that do?”
“it doesn't. it just makes it worse..”
“exactly. so why do it babe?”
“because i don't want you to hate me, binnie and i don't want to hate you either, but sometimes it's too loud up there that i project my negative feelings onto others which makes me hate and fall out of love with things and people.”
“then hate me because at least you're still here to hate.”
“b-binnie–” you look up at him, tears cascading down your cheeks. he wipes away your tears with his thumb before stroking your cheek.
“i know, deep down, that you don't hate me, that you love me more than anything. i know that babe. i want you with me, i want you by my side. there is only one of you on this earth, so treasure yourself like everyone else around you does.”
“but my feelings–”
“are valid. you're valid, babe. i know it gets loud up there but surround yourself with people who help lessen that burden, who silence the noise.”
“why do i feel like this, binnie…”
“because you're human, my love. you feeling things and emotions, whether they be good or bad, proves you're alive.”
“why me..? why do you put up with this when you could just easily leave, find someone else and have an easier life.” you mumble, biting your lip gently. changbin sighs softly, cupping your cheeks in his hands.
you look in his eyes, suffocating with the amount of love his eyes hold for you. you place your hands on top of his, feeling your worries melt away. all the negativity and angst slowly washing away as you get lost in his eyes.
for the first time in a long time, you could feel your heart beating hard against your chest, threatening to break free.
“because i don't love anyone else other than you. i treasure the good and the bad. you hurt, i hurt. i want to protect you, be a shoulder for you to lean on. till death do us part.”
you laugh softly, rolling your eyes at him.
“binnie, that's something you say when you're getting married to someone.”
“maybe i want to marry you.” changbin says, nonchalantly.
“d-dont play with my heart binnie.” you stutter, cheeks flushing pink at the thought.
“who says i'm joking?”
note: the last instalment of starry's treasure trove!
i wrote this a while ago as a way of comforting my friend. he gave me permission to post this in hopes others will find comfort in it as well ‹3
don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer
#kwritersworldnet#wkcnet#straykidsland#skz angst#stray kids angst#changbin x you#changbin x reader#skz x you#skz x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids x reader#changbin angst#seo changbin angst#seo changbin x you#seo changbin x reader
182 notes
·
View notes