#i wish i had time to write on this rn bc answering this has reminded me why i loved it originally

[its-all-papaya]

OG here to yap about dad!Lando (or more specifically Uncle Max) bc it truly never leaves my mind.

Genuinely cannot stop thinking about Uncle Max Fewtrell and Emma and just how adorable their dynamic would be.

I can’t help but imagine an older Emma and Max getting into all these shenanigans together and playing pranks on Lando and Oscar. Max would be such a menace as she gets older but I imagine he would also be the one she would go to when something is weighing on her but it’s not something she feels comfortable talking to her parents about.

Like he’s not a parent and she doesn’t see him as one but he is someone she trusts and knows she can go to if she needs someone. Maybe she’s upset with Lando or Oscar and instead of being angry alone, she goes to Max to complain or when she wants something her dad won’t allow she gets Max on her side bc she knows Max can’t say no to her. I just imagine them having such a special relationship with each other.

Like when she gets her first crush, it’s not lando who finds out first oh no, it’s Max and boy lando would never let him hear the end of it. It’s also something Max would proudly hold over lando (as long as it’s lighthearted) but really he’s just happy Emma trusts him so much.

Anyway I could go on but I��ll stop myself, you have no idea the amount of space this concept fills in my mind LMFAO

hi OG <3 long max/oscar/emma thoughts below break !!

it's funny to me to have you refer to landoscar as emma's "parents," because TO ME, Max reads weirdly closer to emma's second parent than oscar does in dad lando. like don't get me wrong, neither of them is parenting her fr, and this is definitely definitely a fic scope thing where max has just been around longer, but all of this is just a testament to the fact emma's relationship with max is special.

there's a few moments in the fic i can think of where max just takes emma's side or purposely pits her against lando for shits. it's like his favorite pastime. the one phone call i posted a snippet of forever ago where max is taking the piss out of lando for the amount of pasta he cooks and lando goes "not all of us have personal meal prep services" and max goes "idk, emma and i both do!" CLASSIC. max 100% enables her and it's a two-for-one deal bc she thinks it's great and it irritates lando (fondly). it's such a fun dynamic to swim around in.

i guess i haven't really thought about max and older emma, but that's fun concept too. i've always been like 'max would leave mclaren before oscar' but it's fun to instead say that max and oscar both stay forever, so when emma gets older and starts going to races without lando, lando lets it happen because oscar and max will both be there. as much as oscar is the love of lando's life, max knows emma better than oscar does and vice versa. it's heart-warming to me to picture emma bouncing between the two of them on race weekends: max walking in to find emma on his sofa because "oscar called dad and i don't want to listen to that." hanging out with whoever isn't busy with media. no preference. also, as much as max is the fun uncle who feeds emma ice cream for dinner and lets her watch finding nemo six times in a row past her bedtime, he's also always seen her as tangentially his responsibility, and he'd act accordingly when lando's not around. he'd not be afraid to be stern with her for her safety, etc.

i think part of the max/oscar divide for me is that emma sees max as always "theirs," while oscar was "lando's" first to her. she was born with max already in her life, she's always loved and trusted him. she loves oscar ofc, but he's still "dad's husband" whereas max to her is like their equal property from the jump. idk if that makes sense.

also yes, the slight distance would help for things like crushes. max is more removed from her day-to-day life and safer for that kind of thing than lando or oscar. he's like a much-older brother in a lot of ways: someone she trusts to look after her but doesn't, at the end of the day, answer to. very good relationship for her to have growing up i feel, such a safe place for her.

as i always say with this fic (and most of my longer projects), i'm OBSESSED with ALL the relationships involved. emma/max, emma/oscar, oscar/max, lando/max, etc. it's all delicious to me. emma's got three dads fr.

thank youuuuuuu x100 OG. have a snippy bc ily <3

“You wanna give Max goodnight hugs?” Lando prompts when they’re up. She nods, so he steps in close enough for her to loop her arms around Max’s neck and nuzzle in there for a second. “Night, Em, thanks for hanging out with me,” Max says when he’s given her a kiss on the head and she’s settled against Lando once more. “Love you,” she reaches out to hand towards him until he gives her his own to hold for an extra second. “Love you, too, sweetheart,” Max says when they part.

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

[novemberdevils]

they are also putting a lot of trust in all the social media people who totally have access to their instagram accounts to not just open their messages. oopsies let's pretend i didn't just open that plothole until i decide if i want to actually do something with it have someone hack one of their accounts and post all of the messages and me and you can sit and drink tea and coffee and watch everyone losing it, THEY'LL TALK ABOUT IT EVENTUALLY! WHEN!!! I fear Ferrari winning irl is more achievable than them sitting down and talking, Things. i'm doing Things. don't worry about it mum pick me up im scared, but it did remind me i should include the drivers' dinner speaking of including things will you include the gala? I was watching it today and kept thinking about the embarrassing stuff they both could do, also btw you talking about word count made me curious about who has the most word counts in nicojack fics and surprise surprise it’s you 🥳; and just shy of having the first spot in any fic that has jack as a character-10,889 exactly-; and the most words ever in Hockey RPF is 480,949 so do it for the shits and giggles, but i do think jack's character here in this fic is more of a home is people person than a home is a place person. This is the worst and best type because if you don’t find those people you will always feel like you are walking on the wrong leg, TELL ME ABOUT IT I think I mentioned I live alone and the closest person to me is my brother and his wife and even then they are like 5 hours away on a train and the rest of my family are scattered across the globe so there those days where I just regret living so far away, like fun fact you'll see it in ch4 but i wrote this thing where it was clear that Someone was lying to jack about something bc only one of the things he was being told could possibly be true, but i didn't actually decide which of them was lying and Why they were lying until like midway through writing monaco lmao it is just like that sometimes. Yeah I had a whole breakdown about it and thinking back I may have overreacted a bit oops but HOW CAN YOU TEASE THAT THERE IS A REASON TELL ME NOWWWWWWW, it's late and i'm exhausted and i'm rambling forgive me but i will keep going soz please ramble I love rambling I love talking-im actually the shyest person if I wasn’t around people I feel comfortable-, jack having a praise kink fork found in the kitchen, he will wilt without it I just had the most absurd image of jack being a plant and nico going to him be like you are doing great growing those flowers and im crying laughing rn, zak brown hires twinks and i will keep saying that. He fucking does every time im like he can’t find another twink he goes and find one, PLEASE THE LOGAN HELMUT HATE FUCKING PISSED ME OFF; like if we can let other drivers have their fucking flags and have some controversial designs we can absolutely be ok with a helmet having an American flag, no because going to be honest I usually hate the patriotic Americans because they have always rubbed me the wrong way but I remember texting my f1 friends be like fuck yeah let’s go America I love him and have adopted him, as a non American like his accent can’t be that present still??? I wish it was me because my accent is a mess even in writing I will mix minimum seven different ways pf spelling stuff, one of the only things in my sketchy ass outline is that jack crashes in miami. i was planning that All Along. for the narratives. hehe I hate you.

hello anon i hope you're feeling better!! I AM!!! Thank you for asking and oops sorry for the late answer, OMG CONGRATS ON FINISHING YOUR FINALS🥳🥳 I have always hated that period of finals that im always thankful it’s in the past now-not really I have stupidly decided that I actually want to have a diploma in another major when I have graduated not that long ago-, he's allowed to contradict himself. as he said himself, nothing that he said was untrue! Humans contradict themselves every day and his actually make sense so it was a good thing you left it; it made him feel more human rather than a written character, the quinn-jack relationship is a wee bit complicated i guess? Oh yeah I have Thoughts especially during that phone call they made me miss my own siblings and called them was like hi your youngest sibling miss you and every single one without a fail asked me if I need money-I work and have a stable income- but I mean they asked what was I going to say noo older siblings I don’t need money? I said yeah the joys of being the youngest, Jack Can You Please Have Some Self-Confidence train how does a person get on this train? Because I need three tickets for me and bestie lex and boyfriend nico, STOP TEASING MONACO!! You’re the most Evil person and I hate you for teasing stuff, have i already posted the scene where jack essentially says the same thing? about how they all have to be insane to drive race cars? Yeah I do remember that scene but I tgink it actually happened twice? One where he was telling quinn that of they weren’t insane no one would drive the cars and the other unfortunately I have no idea when it happened but I think it was when jack threw the condom or when he was getting choked but don’t quote me on that, PLEASE MIAMI IS ALWAYS A MESS and it was 23 when max was 9 and kmag of everyone was third or fourth, honestly indy drivers go to the media and tell that they want to puck a driver every other race; but it was hilarious seeing everyone kinda lose it like get it boys I love for the drama, the fuck you scene-Yes I will be calling it that- is genuinely something I reread at least once every other day it’s SO SO well written like no words are enough to make you understand how much I love that scene-English is failing me as it does every time I want to complement someone making me look like a stupid person who doesn’t know shit I hate this-, honestly I know I nag about this but the not talking adds a more layer to all of their mess and I like it, omg could you even imagine nico sitting jack down and being like hey you can say a safe word jack would get up and fucking crash them both next race and then telling the media this is me telling everyone that I HATE hischier.

Okay I love you now once again my anger has lessened but stop teasing Monaco and make them get together and every important conversation happens in a hallway and I will never hate you.

i'm gonna do a red white and royal blue on them and leak all of their emails. jk. i have no concrete plans about that plothole even now so we're just going to keep not touching it

uhhh my answer remains to be Eventually. and i have no recollection of precisely what the "things" i was doing when i wrote that answer were but i am still doing Things i know that much! maybe they are the same Things. who knows, it's only the inside of my own head. i have not yet decided about the gala... i know in basics how i want the fic to end but not exactly When. i mean i have some time to figure it out before i get there lmao but the gala is something i will add to my thoughts rotation. my beautiful stupid idiot word count omg this fic is infinite but it's okay i love it so i can forgive the nonsense. if the chapter count ever changes before it's done will you all pretend it didn't pretty please

yeah that vagueing was absolutely about the "did luke actually tell nico he wanted to apologize to jack or not" thing. the answer to who was lying is in a monaco scene i've already written... it hit me like a brick when i started writing monaco like OH yeah that should be why it happens like that. when i made it apparent that Someone was lying i had no idea who it was going to be. but i figured it out! the plot thickens. and thickens and thickens and thickens and thickens

mclaren twink party. shoutout uh. lundgaard. i could talk about logan sargeant probably forever?? he was my guy. with all one of his formula 1 points. logan i miss you </3 i still want him in an indycar seat one of these days but who knows what he will do with his life i will just be over here. with all the sargeant-branded merch i already own. and arguably the 3 american races have more outline than any of the other races oops! that and like. the last few. the end of the fic has always been clearer to me than any of the middle, and we are going to be in my un-outlined middle for a while. no plans all vibes. best way to write a fanfiction trust me i would know

thank you thank you finals week finals weeked and then i was working and doing a bunch of nothing now i'm like. sitting in my bed at home. it's a great time. university is Great i'm going to be here 5ever because i changed my major this past semester... and it was my third year in the major i was already doing... so like. Yeah. the creative writing to aviation major pipeline doesn't exist i created it

that's enough about me! thank you for the thoughts on jack's many ways of contradicting himself, sometimes i feel weird about it i think because characters Are often written to be more perfect than actual humans? idk it feels like something people could read and be like "this doesn't make any sense he said x before and now he's saying y?" but like Yeah people do that all the time. i do that. so i'm glad i left it like that, and i'm sure jack will contradict himself again at some point before the fic is done lol. he's a very complicated guy to write

i'm the younger sibling out of two so most of what i write in sibling relationships is at least a little bit projecting - i don't have a younger sibling though, so i arguably project more onto the quinn-jack side of things, which is maybe why it is the way that it is. not that my older sister is a retired NASCAR driver or anything. but yknow. vibes and all that. i will never stop teasing monaco muahahaha i have not enough plans about when ch5 is gonna end soooo things are happening that is all i know for certain

race car driver insanity is real and in all honesty it will Likely come up again at some point. in all of the fic i have left to write. who knows. shoutout to jack throwing a condom on the floor idk what led me to writing that scene like that but i have officially opened That rabbit hole and now i get the pleasure of dealing with it for the rest of the fic. fucking. crazy person. jesus christ. and i knew it was 23 because i was like. max won that race and iirc lando won this past season? miami doing miami things. that race happened while i was working in disney so i did not watch it but i remember talking to a guy on race day while i was at work who was wearing a mclaren shirt so i was like. i am sure you are having a good day (on working in disney, a lot of f1 merch out and about, and it was mostly checo. so i'm sure they're all having great times Now)

yay i'm glad you like the fuck you scene (good name) i was getting self-concious about it at the end like did i make him say 'fuck you' too many times LMAO but it was in the cards. jack is just Like That. and the Not Talking layer is a very important one... they will communicate eventually i Promise all will be revealed (or at least most) at some point but right now they are still going to be stupid. i'm gonna. i have plans. Trust. yeah if nico asked jack about a safe word i think he would leave. like. the reality that they're doing anything safe word-worthy with each other would probably kill him

hallways are a very important space to them for some reason. i could probably make something out of that even if it was originally intended as like. idk convenience? i purposely didn't have them in a bed until miami because of the way it feels more like a commitment than just getting pinned to the wall so it kind of always ended up being the door or the wall next to the door or something. dw we unlock a new space in monaco. you can probably guess what it is based on Context Clues

[thatdesklamp]

WAIT OMG-

been reading intrinsic warmth for a WHILE and your writing is top tier!! i always wondered to myself every time i’d read a chapter why the writing just STICKS, yk? i’m a MAJOR book girlie, i read 24/7.

AND THEN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I READ ONE OF YOUR TAGS THAT YOU PUT UP ON ONE OF YOUR POSTS WHERE YOU WERE ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM ANOTHER LOVELY READER AND I SEE THAT YOU TOOK AN ENGLISH A LEVEL?

first of all (not 100% sure on this) but i’m pretty sure only british ppl take gcses, a levels, etc. YOU’RE BRITISH?

i feel like i’ve met my other half rn over something so tiny but yeah. IT LITERALLY EXPLAINS WHY YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD:

i could point out the NUMBER of times i’ve seen juxtaposition, symbolism, foreshadowing in your fic to someone if they’d asked me to point it out for them. at first i thought you might’ve done it unknowingly, and then i decided that nope, bc foreshadowing is such a BIG writing technique that it simply couldn’t have been by accident.

it’s one thing to know about a writing technique and another to actually be able to SUCCESSFULLY incorporate it into your writing. if it isn’t clear enough, i’m saying that you did it AMAZINGLY. you’ve got a natural talent and i’m envioussss (in a supporting way ofc 😭).

you should really look into making your own book, and i think you EXCEL at the supernatural aspect of plot in stories. your writing is so unique and different yet so warm, it reminds me of autumn (my favourite season).

idk how to end such a long message, ultimately i don’t have a reason for typing this up and shit. ik you have tons of people probably saying the same thing and it might just get repetitive for you, but i wouldn’t feel comfortable not being part of said bunch-of-ppl-probably-saying-the-same-thing.

oh! and take your SWEET TIME updating. it’s your story, your fic, your writing. the ONLY thing we readers can give you as a payback and thanks is time, patience, and understanding <3333

RAHHH BRITTANIA 💪💪💪💪

Agh. Yes—I’m British (English to be precise, sweet sweet caroline etc), hence the use of ‘u’s in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’, and also why everyone’s parents are their ‘father’ or ‘mother’ and not mum/dad. ‘Mom’ feels too American but ‘mum’ feels too rah engerland, yk? I’ve mentioned previously that I’m looking forward to writing fics where the characters are actually from England and where I’m actually allowed to write them the way I talk, mostly. Good lord am I excited.

And yes lol I took English for an A-Level. Bloody smashed it too, if I get to brag, mwahaha. Didn’t take it any further (I’ve also previously said that I’m a # woman in stem uni student, which is true), but I still write a killer essay imo. Give me 10 minutes to do a refresher on ‘Othello’ (it’s been a while okay) and I can talk for donkeys about his tragic fall and how much of a wanker he is. Which he is! I’m a Desdemona defender for life.

You say ‘natural talent’. PLS. No!! God no. Not at all. I wish—that would’ve made it a lot easier, but whatever I can do rn is down to bloody years of toiling away on my shitty little laptop, I promise. I’ve got another anon ask that asked about some writing tips so I’ll do the bulk of them there but my number 1 will always and forever be to practise. Whatever skill I have now has been earned over the many years. You don’t even want to see some of the stuff that will never grace my ao3 page (atla had me in a chokehold through covid and I have never been the same).

But you are genuinely so complimentary: this is so so lovely of you. Thank you?? It’s really weird being someone who writes and also someone who enjoys analysing literature; you’re right, half of the ‘techniques’ are intentional (the number of times I’ve flicked through some chapters’ drafts and thought, ‘fucks sake none of this makes sense, I need to add some decent foreshadowing or none of this will make sense in two chapters’), but also so much of my writing is just thinking, ‘hmm, this doesn’t really feel right. No no, I don’t like the vibe of this. I want this to feel more GRAAHHH and less lalalala. Lemme change this up a bit’. Whether that leads to the whole, short sentences->speeds up the pace of the reader when reading the section->increased tension, mimics actual fight encounter, etc etc (all the stuff you blag on about in eng lit), then maybe that counts as intentional? And maybe not.

Making my own book? That’s lovely of you to say but I also really don’t have any ideas for anything non-fanfic’y! Lol. I love a good bit of canon compliance, that’s my issue. That being said—hey, another eng a level reference—I’ve made multiple references here to being the world’s #1 ‘Atonement’ hater. Unfortunately, it also lives damn rent free in my head and I’ve got the bare bones of a WW2-era, perhaps epistolary, longform fic buzzing around. (Fandom: Marauders. I’m a disgrace but here we go). I’ve written nothing for it and maybe I never will, but that’s one of the only things I can see as being more standalone from original canon. Anyway: it’s the fanfic life for me. Ali Hazelwood’s life is but a distant dream.

But anyway! Thank you again for your lovely words. The next IW chapter will take a very long time, I have to be frank, so thank you for the reassurance that that’s not absolutely disgraceful lmao T_T Thanks again!! <3

[starstruckodysseys]

was also tagged by @shrimptacodaniels but i didn’t want to make that thread super long so!! thank u both <3

what’s the origin of your blog title?

aso my beloved. yay <3

otp ship name

wenliv my DARLINGS <3 i am also one of the world’s biggest polypalooza fans (wow its almost like i made up the ship name and tag and everything) and like. idk other stuff probably?

favorite color

pink :)

favorite game

hit 2009 video game 999 aka 9 hours 9 persons 9 doors— [ i am forcibly removed from the building ]

song stuck in your head

i’m going to be so real rn it is tgif by katy perry. am i proud of this? no. but it is happening

weirdest habit/trait

girl idk i can’t shut up to save my life

hobbies

hey did you guys know i write. cool. i do that. unless i’m not doing that in which i’m probably either gaming (aka playing splatoon) or mindlessly scrolling which is not a hobby but it is a thing i do. also theater?? i guess?? does it count if that’s my major slash career

if you work, what’s your profession?

literally JUST got hired in our scene shop :D i get to help build + paint sets n stuff

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

i’m going to be so real i’ve been doing theater so long i can’t imagine doing anything else at this point

something you’re good at

um. is it a copout if i say writing? i know there’s probably other things i just don’t feel like thinking abt them lmao

something you’re bad at

uh. talking. now that might sound counterintuitive considering the above point but guys. guys. conversation terrifies me. i want to talk to people so bad but i am so scared all the time

something you love

i love my friends they make me feel alive again— (also writing <3)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff

i can and have talked about nsbu and zero escape for long periods of time. this is a threat. i will yap about anything if you give me the time

something you hate

writing (i know what i said). homework. my dorm neighbors but only a little bc i feel bad being actually mean even though they scream at 3am sometimes

something you collect

mostly pins rn! also magnets + keychains, and i would love to properly collect dice if i had the budget

something you forget

apparently? meetings if i don’t put them in my calendar. i literally forgot one yesterday but also it was 8am and i was so sleepy…

what’s your love language?

supposedly quality time but also being Known

favorite movie/show

wow i sure wonder what tumblr’s never stop blowing up encyclopedia has to say about this one

favorite food

i am a fucking FIEND for soup. i want wonton soup so bad rn actually. agh

favorite animal

penguins!! i love those guys. i made friends with one in fifth grade. i hope they’re doing well

what were you like as a child?

somehow exactly the same as now and also entirely different. did you guys know i used to be the quiet kid. like i never talked. imagine

favorite subject in school

i am once again reminding everyone i am a theatre major

least favorite subject

i have never been a science girlie. just personally. either that or history except ap world bc i loved my teacher he was great

what’s your best character trait?

ah. um. hm. i think i am good at being there for people. idk if im good at advice but i am very good at being someone to lend an ear yknow

what’s your worst character trait?

jesus christ i didn’t know we were getting philosophical. i think i talk A Lot and i don’t really think about it sometimes so i make things Weird. oops!

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

lactose intolerance

if you could travel in time, who would you want to meet?

i’ve never been good at these questions tbh. like idk i can barely figure out what i want for dinner how do you expect me to answer something like this

open tags partially bc i’m tired and partially bc eli and i have like 80% of the same mutuals LMAO

get to know your mutuals!!!

the post got too long but @capvers-my-love and @shrimptacodaniels ty both for the tag!! <33

what's the origin of your blog title?

the love of my life lucy frostblade <3

otp shipname:

augh thats so hard- atm polypalooza, jazekiel (always) trackerbees

favourite colour:

purple!!

favourite game:

clue or anomia or take five- fr any board game <3

song stuck in your head:

the horse and the infant from the troy saga or brendan you gotta come out from whimsy on wheels

weirdest habit/trait?

so much that i cant think of any rn

hobbies:

drawing, writing, games, general tv watching

if you work, what's your profession?

nothing exciting- box office moniter

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

if i can work a job just for funsies without worrying about paying bills, librarian

something you're good at:

making pancakes!!

something you're bad at:

most things

something you love:

drawing + watching stuff/ watching stuff with friends

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

librarians or d20

something you hate:

homework. also most college classes.

something you collect:

posters/ general wall decor, lil dragon + dino figurines, dice

something you forget:

so many things. due dates. birthdays. things about myself.

what's your love language?

quality time, physical touch or gift giving!!

favourite movie/show:

the librarians, leverage, d20, pibe, jurassic park

favourite food:

chicken strips!!!

favourite animal:

dragons or leopards!!!

what were you like as a child?

id love to tell you

favourite subject at school?

art or theatre

least favourite subject:

math or science or english (yes i am an english major no i wont elaborate)

what's your best character trait?

loyal or like always down to hang out?? idk

what's your worst character trait?

forgetful

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

id have money

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

im not fucking with the timeline. also no clue, can i just teleport to like see my friends?? (EDIT OH MY GOD ID GO SEE DINOSAURS I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT SAY THAT)

no pressure tagging: @starstruckodysseys @blueskiesandstarrynights @ike-mcswains-mortician @disdoorted-crows @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @gayforjessmckenna @offbookkeeping @skunksintheportal and anyone else who wants too!!!

[heniareth]

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

[marximoff]

Hi ! First of all, thank you very much for blessing us with your fic, I absolutely love the way you portrayed someone who suffer from the Blip and I wish it was something we see more often in Marvel. The angst is amazing and my heart hurts everytime. :'D

I have a few questions if you don't mind to answer : Is Wanda physically just the same as Wanda from 838 (by that I mean their look in case I'm not clear) ? Are you going to add some interactions with the others Avengers (like maybe Clint or Sam) ? I know it's a Wanda/Read centric story of their healing, both as a couple and individually, but I was curious if they both would ever come back, hypothetically, as superheroes (maybe it's a spoil so if you don't want to answer it's totally fine by me) ? Are you going to show more of their background as young girlfriends (if not I would love to request in the future maybe a one shot of their first date, first confession, first time... 👀) ? Who was the closest Avengers to the Reader, excluding Wanda ?

Thank you very much again for your fic and I hope I didn't bother you with my questions.

ok, first of all, i'm really glad you're enjoying the fic so far! it's really important for me to get feedback from readers (and i particularly like it a lot 😳👉👈)

but ok, let's go by parts (i really enjoy answering questions about my work, so get ready because it's going to be a lot don't mind me i'm excited)

Yes, our current Wanda has the same physical appearance as Wanda 838 - honestly i don't know why the heck they decided to keep her a redhead after Endgame or even Wandavision, but because we follow the same idea here as the variant, that is a retired Wanda who focused her life on being a mother and enjoy her family life (and not be a fugitive anymore, of course), there's no reason for Wanda to remain a redhead like, at all give me back my brunette Wanda you cowards!

Yes, there are plans for more Avengers to appear as the story unfolds (and the prediction is that there will be about ten chapters in all btw, not to mention the one shots that i'm still dying to write to add more content to this universe bc well, i'm gay).

Honestly, i don't think there's more room in both R's and Wanda's lives for them to be superheroes again. Although they do care about helping people as a whole, those days are behind them and now their focus is just living an ordinary life (even if for different reasons) - superpowers are just mere consequences, details. Wanda might still focus on her magical studies with Agatha, but not in a way where she uses those powers to defend the world in the vigilante kind of way (she just knows her importance as a Scarlet Witch to the wizarding community, but is more like a mystical figure than as a hero per se). None of them really had a sense of heroism like Steve or Sam, for example, and they just did it because that's kind of what they felt they had to do at the time, being teenagers with superpowers. But probably their focus right now is just raising the twins and living a peaceful life.

Yes, there will still be some flashbacks about R and Wanda's past as teenagers and the most defining moments of their relationship before the Blip (I just love emo Wanda and want to write more about her ok let me be fjksdjfks), but i do intend to write some specific one-shots about some moments that will end up not getting in the main series - spoiler alert, i'm working on a one shot rn about how teenagers R and Wanda came to the conclusion that they were in love with each other 👀

And finally, Natasha was the closest to R besides Wanda - she kind of saw R as a little sister (since she reminded her a lot of Yelena), and vice versa. That's why a big part of R's post-Blip trauma, in addition to losing her entire family, of course, was witnessing Nat's death and not being able to do anything to stop it. But i think it's also worth mentioning that she had a closer relationship with Sam and Steve, especially after their days as fugitives, yeah... and she kind of had a soft side for Vision, tbh.

well, that's a lot, but I hope I've answered all your questions! and feel free to ask more (anything that isn't a spoiler and i can answer lol)

[campfire-collective]

hey!! I found the light house discussion to be very fascinating. I'm so glad you could find something to help you sleep. it's a process for sure but that's super cool and awesome. proud of you for working on helping yourself!

also it's super unique as well.. I've never heard of anything like this..?

i was wondering... i don't exactly understand when you two speak about the lighthouse. You said you bought it? but it's an idea?

I tried looking stuff up for it... is it a solo rpg you found? how did you come up with that idea to use it like that and do you have any suggestions for people who want to get into something like that?

i struggle with winding down for sleep and i really need more creative outlets so i'm super curious, but please, don't feel pressured to respond or anything. /srs /nm

I wish you the best of luck, as well, and I hope your night tonight is good :)

ohh okay i'll answer this one b4 i go to bed so i don't forget (n then good night to everyone because it is nearly 2am dear god when did THAT happen)

okay so i bought a game called "the lighthouse at the edge of the universe." if you want i can probably find a link for you. it's a journaling rpg, so basically it's a pdf (which i printed into a nice foldable little booklet that fits into my notebook) that has various prompts and things to sort of guide you to tell a story. e.g, you might flip a card that says what kind of event happens ("something needs to be fixed") and then roll a dice for outcome ("you fail"), and then you tell a little story based on that.

so i bought the game but obviously you cannot purchase an Idea. the lighthouse in my brain was free.

i have a BUNCH of solo rpgs bc i'm really into them (if u remind me i'll share some of my favorites bc i can't remember the names rn), and this one explicitly had the instructions "intended to be played before bed." being the good rule following autistic that i am (/lh), i obviously very eagerly went to bed on time to play it as soon as possible. match made in heaven.

i don't know how much i paid for it but these things tend to run under $10, and usually far cheaper. frankly i just snoop on itch.io bundles and snap things up when i can afford them. also drivethrurpg (i think that's what it's called?), but i use itch.io more.

using it as an innerworld experience tool came pretty naturally to me: it's a reflective game that i was already writing about myself and using to reflect my mood/etc., and i've always fallen asleep by thinking about stories. (i have/had maladaptive daydreaming traits. i never was fully madd, but definitely i veered close to it.)

if u want to use a solo rpg for innerworld things, my advice is to look for one that's specifically a journaling rpg, because some aren't. hearth has some more "crunchy" ones (i use that word very loosely because by their nature, all solo rpgs tend to be pretty soft). the qualities that make this work for me:

game is continuous (each entry takes place at the same lighthouse which i build and develop over time. that's a part of the game. there's no ending point, and there's not really a story.)

game doesn't focus on interpersonal interactions

game encourages you to use ur mood/etc. as prompts/inspiration (bc innerworld experiences are metaphorical, this helps it translate well)

lots of solo rpgs r free! they tend to use only a few things (my solo rpg bag has a notebook, where we write all of them, a d20, two d6, a coin, and a deck of cards, and that covers basically every game, barring the ones which use a tarot deck), and they span very wide genres. it's a lot of fun if you like that structured storytelling crunch.

ok this was longer than i meant whoops gn!

-sparrow

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[neo-shitty]

toffeeeeee, i saw the book ask game and!! i had to shdjdk. sorry if there's too many, you can answer however many you like ;-;

17, 25, 28, 42, 50, 55, 60, 63, 80, 94 and 135 !! (´-﹏-`；) hehe <3

me when i saw how many numbers this ask had !! thank you so much ivy, i hope my recs deliver somehow ;n; (also this had me thinking harder than i did on an essay i just submitted HJSHA I LOVE IT)

book recs ask game!

#17 - a book with a yellow cover

men without women by haruki murakami, a short story collection about men with no bitches /j,, the stories aren't correlated to one another and i had no major takeaway but i enjoyed 1 story out of the 7 which was the independent organ (bc i related to the guy and it got pretty sad, i like that shit). this feels like a compilation of murakami's random thoughts, literal ideas out of nowhere and inherently hard to find any deeper meaning into it but maybe that's just my lack of analytical skill.

#25 - a book by your favourite author

unfortunately, i no longer have a favorite author but the last one i acknowledged was marie lu so... legend. prolly her most popular work but not my favorite. her writing has the ability to single-handedly bring me out of reading slumps and i think i read almost every book she wrote. got a few world-building, plot-twisting techniques from her too!!

#28 - a book you wish you could read as a beginner again

mentioned a thousand times atp, looking for alaska :'D by john green :'D the money i'd give just to reread that for the first time bc i have paragraphs of it memorized now HJSHA i think this sparked my love for angsty things

#42 - a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end

i had a different book for this at first until i remember this one read that was so bad i wanted to forget about it. never let this go by kazuo ishiguro. YES, the story had a serious topic in its undertone but i just couldn't appreciate it anymore with how much of a drag everything else was. it reads like one of those tiktok series vids that are like 'follow for part 2'. BITCH!! JUST GET ON WITH IT!! the number of times this book goes (not a spoiler, just a bad example) "i'll tell you why i burned the house down but first let me tell you about my friend's boyfriend" LIKE I CARE ABT THAT RN??? god just thinking abt it is making my blood boil

#50 - a book that made you cry a LOT

THERE IS ONLY ONE!!! HOUSE OF HADES BY RICK RIORDAN. i know, kinda hard to get to and i'm not even sure if this would make you cry. it had me bawling tho, tear-blurred vision as i waded to the last page. it was that bad. if you're looking for a tear-jerker that i know made others cry, a little life by hanya yanagihara.

#55 - a book with a satisfying ending

again, for me, it's a little life. there was something about how i finished that book that left me feeling relieved. not only bc it was one chonky ass book but bc i barely read things where the ending i want is the ending i actually get.

#60 - a book that you think about at 3am

things have gotten worse since we last spoke by eddie larocca. told in e-mail correspondence between two women, they have a 50 shades of grey-esque arrangement but it gets from 0 to 1000 so quick. i'm gonna step aside and let my review speak for itself.

#63 - a book that actually made you laugh out loud

the blood of olympus by rick riordan, last book of the hoo series. sorry my tearjerker and biggest laugh are from the same middle-grade series. adult fiction doesn't draw much emotions from me (except maybe frustration), they just leave me mortified.

#80 - a book that reminds you of a loved one

norwegian wood by haruki murakami. a close friend recommended this to me and because he said the book mirrored his life, it's forever tied with him now. while the story in itself didn't appeal to me that much, i had fun pointing out which parts of the book and his life overlapped.

#94 - a book about grieving

on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong. while the book doesn't explicitly state that it's about grieving, it reads like it is. it's almost as if the main character is grieving for a life he cannot have and mourning for people who are still alive.

#135 - recommend any book you like!

i think i recommended this before when i mentioned your writing reads like a murakami book HAHA after dark !!

[dodo-begone]

ALRIGHTY! LOYAL HERE COMING IN WITH THE CIRCUS HAHAHA

Btw, I’m like 90% sure that I fell asleep while writing so it just stops. Like, there’s no ending/summary/whatever word I’m looking for but can’t think of at the moment and my bird is currently chewing on my phone case oh my god can she please stop—

__________________

I believe the concept of yanderes ft. a isekai-d reader has been mentioned by Shepard and her anons, tho it’s been mainly for Origins SMP. So, I come to you with ideas for the Dream SMP because that’s all I’m familiar with HAHAH—

Also, I apologize in advance because this thing is borderline an essay with how long it is. I’m so sorry—

For example *cue dramatic lighting and a cheesy flashback monologue thingie* oh my god I think I’m losing it, I’m so tired

Y/n and their younger sibling, Frisk, had just finished up another press conference regarding Monsters being back on the surface. All seems to be going well until the ground beneath their feet vanishes and they fall unconscious a few moments later. When they awaken, they notice they’re surrounded by humans—wait they aren’t all humans, what the fuck, since when are there hybrids? They knew everyone from the underground—by name, no less—and had never heard of any currently living hybrids. Only of ones from before the war. Besides, Monsters have been on the surface for a month at most, so there is no way for... oh boy, their head is spinning.

After some very...tense...introductions (“Hi, I never saw you guys Underground, nor have I heard of you, no offense. So, uh, which monsters are you guys related to?” “OI, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TUBBO IS NOT A MONSTER!”) they come to the realization that y/n is most definitely not from this world, or even this universe. Y/n’s adamant refusal to fight the “real monsters” that roam this land (“I did not spend countless timelines weeks putting my life on the line to befriend every monster, break the barrier that trapped them Underground, and defend them against my own god forsaken race just to turn my back on them.”) was a pretty big sign, after all. That, along with species of monsters that the SMP members have never heard of and how y/n talked about Souls as if they were a tangible thing.

It’s a rocky start before any sort of friendship is formed: y/n, wanting to be cautious, (and also not having Sans there to CHECK for them) decides to ask everyone what their LV is. It’s risky, and they had no way to prove if anyone is (or isn’t) telling the truth, but it was worth a shot. “Our levels?” A small goat hybrid asked, his head slightly tilting to the side. Everyone assumes that y/n is talking about enchantment levels. “I’m at 26! Ranboo, you’re at 30, right?” “I’m at 37 now, actually.” “Well, I’M at 58. Clearly I’m the superior one here. A real big man, a very manly man, aren’t I?” And a few others pipe in. Color drains from y/n’s face and they take a few steps back, hands shaking as their eyes dart between each person in the room and the exit. ‘How many lives have they each taken to make their LOVE so high? Why do they seem so proud of it?’ Yeah... that was an interesting experience.

- even though they have been reassured multiple times that the monsters of this world are nothing like the ones from their home, y/n still refuses to kill a single one, as I had mentioned earlier. They also refuse to kill animals. It takes a couple tries at explaining LV or LOVE—Level Of ViolencE—along with EXP—EXecution Points—but eventually everyone is on the same page

- Y/n is hesitant to bring out their SOUL when asked. First off, though they’re now friends with those from the Underground, they can’t help but be reminded of every spear, knife, bone, petal, gaster blaster, and fireball that has been aimed at them with the intent to kill whenever their SOUL was drawn into an encounter back then. Second of all, showing your SOUL is something you do with those you trust with your life—after all, you’re literally putting your lifeline out on display when you do so. There are so many different ways that the SMP members can see it

- Perhaps a monster appears

- Eggpire or Dream attack

- Someone forces y/n into an encounter because everyone is too curious to just let this opportunity slip by

- When y/n discovers that the people of this land have more than one life, they’re confused. There is no way that all of these people have SOULS of Determination, and there’d definitely be some issues if people kept rewinding time to their last save point. Besides, only one Determination SOUL—the strongest one—should be able to respawn. Then again, they only know what Frisk had explained to them. They were never able to see the save stars that Frisk would interact with in the different sections of the Underground. So they only have so much to go off of.

- Battle for them is completely different. Despite being in a different world, the mechanics from their world still apply. They can FIGHT, ACT, use an ITEM or show MERCY.

- They use Frisk’s tactic and flirt their way out of a fight or two. They never understood why Frisk did it until now... ‘I mean, I...wow. That was actually effective.’ They’re impressed.

- Oh no, maybe that wasn’t the best idea...they might have some yanderes after them bc of it...

- They probably have accidentally called Philza ‘Asgore’ and Tubbo ‘Asriel’ because both hybrids remind her of the two males from her world. Similar personalities AND Tubbo is a goat hybrid. The poor child is going to be so confused

- If Tubbo’s a yandere oh boy it’s going to be so easy for him. Y/n will probably be constantly at his side and telling him stories about the first fallen child and how they were adopted by the royal family, who are goat monsters! And just explaining the history of the underground and how important the goat family is. Talks about Asriel a lot as well. Probably makes him butterscotch cinnamon pie and tries to recreate golden flower tea to share with him as well. Or, they do that and he’s not yandere and it’s just wholesome.

- If we follow the headcanons that some fans have made, perhaps Frisk (and/or y/n) gave up half of their SOUL to give to either (or both) Chara or Asriel so they’d have another chance at life

- Not only does y/n refuse to kill, which leaves them vulnerable, they also only have half a SOUL, which means they’re incredibly weak. Someone needs to protect them, someone needs to keep them safe, someone needs to—

- Y/n is incredibly agile thanks to all the battles they’ve faced Underground. With their SOUL always out in the open during an encounter and the fact that they refuse to harm anyone, it’s required. I’m imagining them moving like a dancer, using jumps and spins to help them avoid any weapons swung at them.

- This is gonna be annoying for any yandere that wishes to lock y/n up. Even if they won’t physically hurt someone, they WILL put up a fight and make it as hard as they possibly can to be dragged into isolation or imprisonment

- When it comes to who goes yandere, I believe what color of SOUL y/n has (their personality, in summary) would play a big role. Here’s a few of my ideas, feel free to move people around or add to it, I’m really tired and can’t think of many characters LOL

- Red (determination): Wilbur, Technoblade

- Orange (bravery): Technoblade, Dream, Tommy

- Yellow (justice): Sam, Technoblade

- Green (kindness): the kids of the server, Fundy, and Ghostbur

- Cyan (patience): Ranboo, Ghostbur, Karl

- Dark blue (integrity): Tubbo, Philza, Sam

- Purple (perseverance): Dream—this man would love to see how long it would take for your perseverance to run out. I wouldn’t be surprised if your perseverance is the only reason he’s interested.

__________________

From what I saw of the end of what I wrote, it is DEFINITELY cut short. At least I mentioned every SOUL type lolol.

Also, I found a whole other note that’s a continuation of this concept but for y/n being from another game what the hell was I doing—

Expect that to come in another ask once I eat dinner

Sorry i took so long to answer!! I kept getting distracted!

That stuff is so pog man!!!! Puffy might be called “Toriel” once in a while because mom energy and she sheep,,, close to goat!

Gosh all the flirting will bring in so many yanderes or make ppl like “yo wtf??” And there’s a very small amount that are inbetween.

OKAY BUT WITH THE MONSTER STUFF ON THE DSMP- they’d keep the monsters in their house. They’d give them food and everything. Some def become very friendly and will defend. Haha giant spider go prrrrrr

I’d write more but there is so much amazing stuff I don’t think I could add to some of them anyways!!! Plus my mind is just racing other places rn haha

[luvuwite]

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

 2. What was the last present you received? 

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality? 

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of? 

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain? 

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 

myanus

8. Stars or Moon? 

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds? 

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal? 

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without? 

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you? 

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often? 

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers? 

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee? 

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink? 

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing? 

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted? 

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words. 

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for? 

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life? 

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now? 

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 

soup

44. Favourite flower? 

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero? 

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 

burpees

52. Secret talent? 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay? 

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number? 

5

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store? 

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store? 

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 

observant 

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 

math

69. What makes you feel empowered? 

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something? 

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date? 

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie? 

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke? 

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently? 

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? 

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from? 

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic? 

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend? 

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about? 

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school? 

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

 89. Can you roll your tongue? 

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to? 

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list? 

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you? 

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time? 

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die? 

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[cuppasunu]

hii! how you doing? hope well!

soo.. ab by fate.... SPOILER AHEAD

I FREAKING HATE BUT LOVE YOU?!? i am rooting so damn hard for juyeon but on the other hand i have the biggest soft spot for eric, esp with this end!¡! (even tho he didn't deserve that spot on the begin) i was but wasn't expected this to happen between y/n and juyeon, and what do you meant with “this time, you promised not to hold back when he finally pressed his lips onto yours”¿?¿ I NEED ANSWERS! THEY DID THAT BEFORE?! AND I ALSO NEED MORE EXPLANATIONS ABOUT JUYEON'S MARK AND HIS PAST, I AM SO CONFUSED OMFG PLSSSS

i am also a little curious.... did eric felt the same pain y/n felt when he kissed Sam? that's why he disappear after leaving to get drink and why he was on the bathroom? am i going a little too crazy ab that? am i wrong? i am freaking out and making absurd assumptions? it's hot dog a sandwich? existencial crisis¿?¡!?

idk what to do, idk your plans for that fic but keep going! you're doing an amazing job and i am absolutely in love with your writing 🥺

also, i read the juyeon fic too (once more) and oh my heart... i wasn't going to cry put the epilogue... when juyeon found y/n on the tulip field... and kinda of recognise her.... the way that this blow my mind and that he already kinda of knew her when they meet on the begin... “but i smiled when i asked you that question—because y/n, yes yes, i do” this is where i totally lose it 🤧

sorry for that big ass ask tho, i'm just way to excited about that! (and sorry for any English mistakes)

🧸anon

anon ... i wish i could give you a hug rn im not gonna lie.. the moment i saw this ask in my box, i was actually teary eyed—my mom asked me what was wrong. i told her that validation from strangers on the internet are one of the most amazing things this era of my life could offer.

my answer is gonna be v long so im gonna cut it here PLUS please do not apologize for your english, it’s literally so good??? english isn’t my first language either so i get the doubting ;-; but no worries, you are amazing.

BY FATE AND ONCE MORE SPOILERS

now.. let’s start unpacking :)))

AWW YUP I KNOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE SWERVING! i mean i know eric doesn’t deserve it.. but he is getting there and we can’t rule out the fact y/n has been looking forward to even just build a connection with her soulmate. she’s been looking forward to it all her life! the reason why i said, “this time” is because it was mentioned that y/n and juyeon have talked about their feelings before. i wouldn’t say they dated, kissed, or hooked up.. but it was more about her own doubts about being attached to anyone else other than her soulmate. but given her circumstances now, she felt like she can just drop everything and kiss juyeon. (LIKE I MEAN WHO WOULDNT)

now for the next few questions about eric, a lot of that will be answered soon! for the bathroom scene, i just wanted it to be implied that he got pretty sick from drinking too much, stuff like that. no worries, i will be making correct edits just to make sure most, if not, all questions will be answered. (yes, hotdog is a sandwich)

i have a rough idea of how i want the fic to go so yess im so happy many of u are looking forward to it ❤️

AND AAH ONCE MORE! i have been getting quite a few more notes from once more whenever people discover me from by fate and it’s been so heart-warming seeing people tell me about what you thought of that fic, my precious baby. i am a bit biased and will say that the ending is absolutely my favorite thing ever. i had a blast writing it and tying it up nicely, so when i hear people talk about how the epilogue tugs at your heart, im reminded of that beautiful time. THANK YOU for giving it so much love. i hope you know how much this ask means to me. bc it means a whole heck of a lot !!!!!! I L Y ❤️

[anxaanya]

Chapter 1

Ok hi, this is gonna be a long intro so no on has to read this. But, very unrelated to what I am posting. I am super down at the moment? I literally have no friends and feel very pathetic rn so I wrote something? My life is literally a downhill spiral rn and I don’t even have anyone to talk to about it. Literally no one so I wrote bc I want to be in a another world so bad(preferably a really chill happy shojo anime where everything is pastel). Its not the best, i just wrote this on a whim and no one has to read this seriously but I want to be a writer and just wanna get myself out there. 

But anyways this is a part of a bigger story. I basically created a whole new character that i was debating on making it my own thing or just do a fanfic but I decided on fanfic bc it’s too similar to bp lol. So basically it’s about this girl named Amale who escaped like a slave trade and lost everything but years later she becomes like a warrior who wants to over throw the royal family bc they don’t do shit about it and like it keeps happening. And shes apart of like a girl warrior group like the Dora Malije and Erik comes and helps them lol. Its stupid but its not meant to be romantic. It’ll get there but rn I just want it to be super badass with badass women. And I want this to be comic(bc comics are basically fanfics, they just write different stories for the same characters lmao) 

But also Amale is inspired by Sumrider, this cool badass martial artist I love, check her out and also catwoman cuz animals are a big influence(I love animals) used later on and shell be really graceful and I just think catwoman is the coolest ever lmao

So here we go also trigger warnings: blood, human trafficking, rape, murder, death

I smiled as I dug my fingers deep into the bowl of wooden beads. They clanked beautifully against each other and in evidently calmed my nerves. I finally took one out the bowl and marveled at the walnut colored wood that was painted with ascents of red. I glanced in the mirror and met my eyes in the reflection. My cornrows were fresh and neat and ran down head, twisting, turned and overlapping each other along the way. The hairstyle allowed for my round forehead to be on display but I didn’t mind. They were painless yet tight enough to pull my already almond shaped eyes back to a smaller squint. I slipped the last bead on the end of my braid that fell over my ear, allowing it to move freely. I marveled at my bead work, shaking my head, letting the plaits dance as I closed my eyes.

               “Amale.” Startled from my trance, I spun my head to the call of my name. My eyes were met with Sa’diyah’s. They were round and kind and shone through the only light in the dim room allowing for me to see her dilated pupil that swam pools of amber. Her locs were rolled into a secure updo and in the graceful way she walked, she began to saunter towards me, and folded her long legs under her as she sat.

               “I really think you should have choose a more practical hairstyle,” she laughed as she softly pushed my long braids behind me.

               “I did. It’s way more practical than an afro.” I retorted. “Which makes no sense. You know my hero is afro samurai,” I continued and she laughed again, still running her fingers through my braids breaking the quiet of the night with the clacking beads.

               “Are you ready for this Amale?” She asked as she dropped her hand from my hair and stared at me again.

               I bit my lip and turned away. “You know I have to.”

               She didn’t speak. Her unakite stone pendant glistened in the light. The crystal I gifted to her. The crystal that belonged to my sister. The crystal I could no longer hold because of the memories it held.

 I remembered the last day I saw her wear it.

 …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 “Amale come!” My sister tugged at my wrist. My ears rung and my sister’s desperate plea voiced. I was frozen. I stood and never took my eyes off of my father’s body that lay in front of our front door. I stood as I watched the blood seep out of his still body. I watched as men in heavy uniforms and thick boots shot carelessly around our village. Their boots stomping on everything. Our crops. Our animals. Or lives. With giant guns strapped to their back, they killed those that were of no use to them and took those that were.

One of those men lay dead on our floor in the living room. He barged in uninvited. We were home alone. I sat on the couch watching afro samurai, one of my favorite shows and in that moment would finally witness merciless murder like those in this show. My sister hated that show and would never understand why our father would let me, a 10 year old girl watch something as violent as this. He always replied with, “Maybe she’ll learn something.” But I knew it was because he didn’t have the heart to tell either of us no. Spoiled was an understatement. My older sister was at the table, brewing a cup of tea for my father for when he returned from work. The sun was close to setting and he loved his cup of tea at the end of a long day. The tea sat on the counter as my sister washed dishes and talked on the phone to her boyfriend. I think they were fighting. He was cheater and I ever understood why my sister didn’t just leave him. Everyone wanted her. She was beautiful or I guess whatever was considered beautiful in these parts. We both shared a signature almond eye shape with a feminine slant and large full lips, two traits we inherited from our mother. My sister had long beautiful locs that contrasted amazingly with her skin. Her hair was as black as night and her edges were often free and curled in naps and kinks. (She didn’t care much for re-twisting.) Our black hair is another trait we had in common, although mine was much wilder, never done, and could barely hold a curl. My sister’s skin was a light golden brown, (that kind of reminded me of a lion’s coat which I would tease her for) and she has a cute button nose. I was told I would eventually grow into my forehead. My skin was a rich mahogany brown, kind of like…the rich beautiful brown of an antelope (My sister also hated my weird possession with animals.)

“Afia, I’m sorry, you know I love you,” I could hear the man on the other end speak as his voice was deep and booming. I could see why she liked him, he was super tall and muscular and I was too scared to ever look him in the eye when he spoke to me. “I hear you Oko just let me think about it.” She was now done with the dishes and leaned on the kitchen counter, playing with the unakite stone in her pendant that belonged to our mother. The stone aids in health and healing especially within pregnancy, which I find ironic as she died right after I was born.

The man that lay dead by our coffee table, barged in. And went straight to my sister, and yanked the phone from her fingers. “You’re a pretty little thing aren’t you,” he spoke through clenched teeth as he held her face tight towards his. I jumped from the couch attempting to pull him away from her. He glanced down at me and kicked me, sending me flying. “You’ll also do well in time little girl,” he spoke as he pushed my sister aside and began stomping toward me.

Out of nowhere I heard a loud boom. I screamed as blood flew from the man’s chest onto my face and he fell with a thud next to me. I shivered in shock as I just witnessed a real life murder. Afro Samurai still playing in the background and the sound made me sick to my stomach. My sister began to run to whoever stood behind me, tears streaming down her face, I heard the figure voice out, “Afia wait,” he called out to my sister.

I turned my head to see my father, shaking in fear. He held a tiny gun in front of him aiming at the man that lay next to me. He bleed out through his hip, the only spot without armor. He wasn’t dead.

“Father! Watch out!” I managed to scream. It was too late. The world moved in slow motion. My hearing was gone so I couldn’t hear myself scream in terror as I watched my father’s body drop. Blood spilling from his head. My sister’s screams were muted and I watched as she ran towards him and cried on his chest. I quickly remembered the man and grabbed my father’s hand gun that was soaking in a puddle of blood. I aimed at this man’s head and pulled the trigger.

My ears rung and the world was silent. Tears streamed down my face and I felt my sister grab my wrist, knocking the gun from my hand. She shook me to and fro as she screamed something I couldn’t hear. Her heavy pendant knocked against my shoulder as she yelled and I turned my attention to my father who I didn’t take my eyes off of. The sound returned and I finally heard my sister urging me to come and get out of here. All I could think of was the tea on the counter getting cold.  

 ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 “Amale, I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” I unconsciously played with Sa’diyah’s necklace.

“For bringin up-“

“It’s fine.” I cut Sa’diyah off and dropped the pendant.

“I just…please don’t be mad at me.” She continued.

I looked into her large round eyes. “I could never,” I retorted. I meant it. “You’re like my little sister Sa’diyah. I could never.” I glanced down. “My older sister was never mad at me. Or she never made it obvious at least.” I forced a laugh. And she laughed too.

Silence filled the room.

“So as your sister,” Sa’diyah’s began as she broke the silence. Her posture straightened and she smiled exposing her larger, straight white teeth. “I can tell you anything right.” She continued.

“Of course.”

“Um, I’m not gonna tell you now, but it’s about you know...”

“No I don’t know,” I answered trying to hide my annoyance.

“You know the guy that came out of nowhere kind of sorta leading our group in this rebellion.” As she spoke, I wished I weren’t this annoying at sixteen…

“What Sa’daiyah? What about him?” I said with a tone that showed my displease.

“Well it’s just, I was thinking that maybe-“

“He’s an amazing asset to this team. He knows everything about the royal family and he can get us in. Overthrowing them is essential. He’s essential. Remember, they took my sister. They did nothing when my village was taken over. My father died-“

 “My village was invaded too,” Sa’diyah spoke with an attitude.

“I know Sa’diyah, all the more reason.” I touched her shoulder but she brushed it off.

“I’m just saying, I don’t trust him.” Her eyes narrowed and her voice shifted to a hushed tone. “You better be right about him. If he-“

We were interrupted by melodic clanks. We both looked to see a large hand move away the beads that hung down the doorway. In walked a tall man, heavy boots, military pants and a tight tee. His weapons decorated his large solid body and his dreads where braided in two cornrows a top his head.

               His deep voice boomed. “Y’all ready?”

[cutaepatootie]

41, 50,52,53,46, 17, 13, 35 (any story for you), 36(animal 7 hehe) omg i’m so sorry for too many questions i hope i’m not too late 😅

Hahaha, don’t be sorry! I’m glad you asked bc I love this type of things hehe. You’re not too late dw. There are some answers I’ve already answered, but I’ll copy and paste them. Lots of love sweet! 🖤

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

Rn I’m working on 4 hehe. But I like to post one at a time bc I lose interest really soon and I know that if I’m posting one and I start posting another story, I’ll get more invested in the second one. Tho, rn I’m working on one that I’m planning on posting soon even if I haven’t finished posting Animal.

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

You can read it here.

52. How did writing change you?

I don’t know if it changed me bc I’ve always written and imagined stories, even when I was a kid. But posting them has changed me for sure, I can share my stories - my thoughts - and see how people think about them, I can see people enjoying what I write and that makes me feel... Full? hahaha I don’t know how to describe it with words, it just feels right, like it’s what I should be doing.

53. What does writing mean to you?

The whole world! I think I’d suffocate if I didn’t write. It’s like my mind is always working on new stories, always imagining and creating, and I feel that, if I didn’t write them I’d explode or something hahaha. I’ll put a really visual example. When you want to pee so bad that you feel as if your bladder is going to explode and you’re going to die? Well, the pee is my stories and the bladder my brain xd.

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie? 

Hmm I’d love to see how the new Fantasy Tales I’m writing would look like if it was a tv show. I’d love to think it would look like Game of Thrones, but I think that’s wishful thinking hehe. About a fallen bookmark on a Thursday afternoon, I think it’d look like a Makoto Shinkai movie, so sad yet beautiful, with the cherry blossoms, the train and all.

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Hmm... Whoa, such an interesting question. Guess I never thought about it. Usually I come up with the plot first, and then I guess I adapt my characters to it. But again, I usually get inspired by people, their personalities and all and then I create the story. It depends on the story? There are stories inspired by characters and their personalities and there are characters inspired by stories that my mind created (sorry, that was such a bad answer hahaha)

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

It depends on the day. If I’m really busy, I don’t write. Yeah, I love writing, but it’s not my priority :( If I’m not busy I usually spend 2 - 4 hours aprox. if not more.

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I HATE WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, it’s so frustrating... UGH! I don’t deal with it as you can see by this answer hahaha, I just let the frustration take my body. I guess I just stop writing and go on with my life, and as I said, I need to write, so eventually I start to feel the need to write and I write again. 

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

Hmmm... I’ll tell you the backstory details about Jungkook in Animal Don’t know if this is the answer you wanted hahah but I’m telling you the backstory of how Jungkook’s character in Animal was born. Okay, so I think I’ve already said this, but Jungkook’s character was insipired by a patient I met during my practices at the hospital this year. I was his nurse, and he was this really tall man (195 cm I think) broad shoulders and all that. He was old but he had eyes that looked like crystals of how clear they were, white hair and strong features, he sure had been really pretty a long time ago. A bit grumpy, rude sometimes and jumpy and scary. He hated most of the people at that floor, but somehow he grew fond of me and we became friends. I would talk to him and accompany him because he was always alone, like, no one ever came to see him or called about him. Me and my nurse grew curious of him and searched his name in Google. Turns out he had been a famous underground boxer in Russia and had had troubles with the law and he had scaped from them. I was talking one day with him when he told me that, when he was young he had loved a girl that reminded him of me. I think he grew fond of me bc I wasn’t scared of him and I always took time to speak to him or visit him. He never told me about that girl anymore, but that’s how Animal was created (he wasn’t dying either, he was sent to a refuge bc he didn’t have a home) 

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Akhsjfkhgads 😈😈 do I have to answer this? You know how much I love creating hype and not telling anything about my new chapters... But I’ll do it for you! (maybe it’s a shitty spoiler but it’s the only one I can say for now) I’ll tell you okay!!Jungkook’sbeenshotanddramaisgoingtohappen. AJKLSHDLGASJDGHAJH