#i wish i had the brain energy and the actual skills to write fics

[starkslydia]

hotd au but aemma lives so aegon, helaena, aemond and daeron are hers and viserys' children and rhaenyra is still heir because that's what viserys wants and as king he can do whatever the fuck he wants, and otto gets fired for conspiring against the heir and mistreating alicent (so alicent becomes a targ-protected lady) and viserys grants daemon an annulment and agrees to marry rhaenyra to him and she gets to be queen, and laena marries harwin and they have a bunch of dragon-riding babys to rule over harrenhal and driftmark so laenor gets to be free from his duties as lord so he joins the queensguard as rhaenyra's sworn sword and joffrey does too so they can still be together because fuck westerosi laws anyways, and alicent gets to marry someone decent and with otto out of the picture maybe criston is not so bad but he's a nobody so rhaenyra is kind enough to give him a small lordship to make her friend happy and both alicent and laena become her ladies-in-waiting alongside some other cool ladies from the dance and helaena gets betrothed to aemond instead of aegon and aegon gets to get drunk and flirt with ladies without being a creep because here he's raised by caring parents and rhaenyra is actually involved in her sibling's lifes AND

[writing-frenzy]

The Kinda/sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke Isekai AU

because my brain has been blessed with works from cywscross/cheshiresense, like the Ichigo and Aizen Time Travel AU, and the amazing I (Not) Aizen Sosuke by Williamcipher, I'm gonna half-hazardly note this idea out because I can not write bleach fic to save my life.

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So, first things first; why is this only sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke?

Because, this is technically Aizen Sosuke, just a parallel from a modern universe and because the thought of a Milennial!Aizen makes me want to fucking cackle like a banshee. Like, Sosuke is still a tricky, nasty little genius, but he's actually had therapy and the internet to get any teenage angst and black history out. (Which he denies ever having, like a lair) And yes, He has suffered Retail, so he can and will be the fakest bitch you ever did see, the customer service smile never forgotten despite how he wishes he could. He's had to grow from a life of poverty, clawing and reaching for everything he's had, but he's also had the public library and some really damn good teachers to have his back, an actual safe place for him to fall back too.

(Amazing, what a difference it makes.)

So, as a kid, Sosuke practically read everything he could get his grubby hands on, partly to better himself, partly an escape, when he came upon his library's selection of comics and manga; he found a certain series; Fullmetal Alchemist.... Just, imagine this young, little genius reading such a book at such a young age; think of how he would react to such twists and chills this story brings, and how it unknowingly shaped him. (how it inspired him).

This started a very big, very large rabbit hole for the kid; he could not get enough after that; which, in the end, leads him to a manga called Bleach. He ends up enjoying it, not as much as Fullmetal, but the story does peak his interest, from Ichigo's charisma, to even side characters like Gin's treachery and Urahara's puppetry. it is a fasinating story in it's own right, even as the villain, Aizen both intrigues him and frustrates him.

Like, his motives and ambitions, along with his skills should not make such a fucking flat as depth character! Where is character depth, why does he fucking monologue so damn much? Why not explore the sense of loneness that Ichigo saw, especially once we reach the Qincy War and he still sided with SS? Sosuke would like a little more justice for a character with so much potential and shit, a villain through and through, and yet one of the greatest helps at the end.

(We do not mention the Bleach Epilogue, and it's not because Sosuke ships Ishida and Inou, nope, it just doesn't exist, out of spite out of mind. why does he ship it? because why not :D)

So, for this relatively self-adjusted Aizen Sosuke, he suddenly dies one day, only to find due to certain circumstances, (I'm gonna say a certain wishing rock, his soul being distantly connected, wrong place wrong time, shitty luck, and his death not actually be an accident >_> how energy can not be destroyed or created technically, so it attached to his soul) Sosuke finds himself kinda sorta before what might be the Soul King(?) and he's gonna have to be born as Bleach!Aizen Sosuke cause funky things happened across dimensions, and it's either this or have his soul shredded in unbearable agony.

Sosuke:... So what, I become a Shikigami and get guaranteed a one way ticket to hell the minute I die? Soul King: Not if you play your cards right; but yeah, the Visored still need to be a thing, so have fun figuring that out :D Sosuke: Fuck. You. *so starts his Tries to figure out a way to fucking change the whole Soul King system so the Captains and such don't have to became hellspawn the minute they die and how to create Visored consensually*

So yeah, Aizen Sosuke is a pretty different animal in this world; He still has the damn Customer Service smile, because it has become a very important tool in survival among those damn annoying nobles, is a bit snarky tho but very, very rarely because corpal punshiment with whips and such is actually still a thing here and people do get so very nasty because they can with Outer Rukongai Trash as he is called.

But it's so pathetically easy to find souls and such that willingly let them be experimented on if it means their families get fed or they don't die in the cold. the only illusions Sosuke uses is to disguise himself with or erase memoires of conversations if the soul choses not to be experimented on. Otherwise, Sosuke is brutally honest in what he's doing, what can happen to the soul, and what it can cost.

(It's kinda understandable, that other Aizen Sosuke's ambitions, with just how fucking many take him up on that offer so fucking willingly, some even happy with it.)

So things happen, Sosuke really doesn't want to create a certain death marble, but the way things are going it's looking like it, seeing as he is nowhere near close to his goals. (He thinks of such a thing, this Hogyoku, thinks of just how many suffered for it, how it twisted a version of himself, the temptation of twisted promises, and this man can't help but hesitate, uncertain of temporing with such things beyond him. He might be a version of Aizen Sosuke, he might be made up with twisted ambitions and his own greed, Rukongai chewing him up and spitting him out into something that will survive, letting him see just how deep his inner demons are... but as he is parallel, there are lines he will not cross.)

So, Sosuke on a whim and coffee withdraw, (with nightmares haunting his feet and dreams, screams and blood seemingly drenching them) sees if he can maybe at least get along with Urahara Kisuke. After all, he's pretty sure he won't get the worst case scenario, with the man plotting his downfall one step at a time at least.

(It is the start of the best and worst relationship anyone in Soul Society has ever seen; Like, 95% of SS thinks these two are just really intense, hateful rivals who get under each other's skin like no one else can, concerns about how the two spar really rough with each other, people guessing if anything they must have had hate sex at least once because of battle high. the startled concerns with how their debates are rough and harsh, their Rukongai language actually coming out as they argue and growl at the other even as they smartly trash the other sides pro's and cons, only to get served a minute later.

The remaining 5% is split between groups who think the relationship is like the worst married couple ever, you think they're on their way to a divorce any minute now, with maybe a concern of toxicity. But the other part, with maybe one or three people who have actually looked at this relationship, really look and realize; oh... so that's how love can look like too... huh.

Because for these two broken, bloody men showing the world they have something they care about, something they treasure and love is never a smart thing; it only gets it stolen from them or tossed aside. So all their gentle touches, soft words, the domestic bliss of Sosuke able to cook and serve a little tea on the side as Kisuke rambles with bright eyes about his favored project at the moment, of just holding the other close as they sleep after rough missions and nightmares; this is only to be had behind closed and reinforced doors so they don't risk this person who they world destroy worlds and more for) But that is later; much later; for now, the two are snarky besties who take pot shots at each other but will mentally screw with others who would say shit about the other.

And then... the thing that Sosuke has been trying to do, the Hollowifcation that he has been struggling to reach all this time, has been failing at... is done; not by him, not by any scientist or some such, but i'm gonna say it was a means to save him and a few others from a fate worst then death or something, Kisuke desperate to do so.

Yes, this does in fact mean We get a Visored!Aizen, cuz why not :3 not to mention, with maybe a few different Visored with maybe a couple still the same. (Kaien and Gin would be interesting in my opinion, with maybe Shinji not actually a Visored in this world, maybe Lisa either if we want to trade seconds of the squads :3)

So yeah, exile happens still, no one hunting them down because the only search parties that would be allowed for them would be assassinations and such, and no one wants them dead besides assholes.

Things happen, things go differently, and in the end Aizen Sosuke, as a soul outside the cycle of reincarnation, one touched by so many different energies, has been both corrupted and become more, with a power and sword that can warp reality, he can touch the throne and not become unmade, can use it for his goal, in return for his own sacrifice

Of course, this is Sosuke; his back up plans have back up plans; so, he goes Isekai protagonist, finding himself in post canon bleach without knowing it, pretty powerless if you didn't count his mind and that he still has his sword, just forced to forget their name and his power cut in half (he's built himself up from nothing twice already, what's once more with some perks and it's not like he won't be able to remember their name; on another note, all his respect for all the sheer bullshit Ichigo had to go through after the winter war).

Of course, Sosuke isn't going to go through this alone; nah, urahara and his fellow visored are like "you're not getting rid of us that easy So-kun :) " and of course others will join in, because they are rebel or die together.

So, all these alternate versions in post canon, what havoc will they cause? A lot; some interactions I want:

Sosuke is injured and past out when canon first finds them, because of the newest villain of the week got lucky and so we have a blood thirsty Kisuke ready to destroy everything, cold blooded and still unlike he usually shows the world. Hijinks happens when all three groups clash, bonds happen, pretty sure the Ichigo effect comes up once or twice as the two groups work together against the enemy flavor of the week, so it's pretty late when peeps realize; wtf, why is an aizen here?

On Sosuke's part; wakes up, bleary-eyed, blinks, takes in a scene before him that is probably a bit ridiculous, before he turns his back to it and goes right back to sleep: I reject a reality where there are two Urahara's :T

Sosuke: ... why am I surrounded by children? *generally confused by ducklings he has unintentionally gathered by being honest and snarky and a really damn good teacher* Kisuke: *laughing not realizing at first that those are now his ducklings too*

Like, a movie night I want to happen, Sosuke and Kisuke starting it because nightmares and trauma, only for Ichigo and other to join in somehow, it becoming a bonding event.

People finding out about how Sosuke ended up being forced to be reborn in a manga and have no choice but to make Visoreds or have his soul stuck in a cycle of constantly being shredded and tortured, but actually trying to make it as safe and willing as possible. Kisuke: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME, I COULD HAVE HELPED!!! Sosuke: WHAT DO YOU MEAM WHY DIDNT I ASK, OF COURSE I WON'T, WHO'D BELIEVE FLAMING BULLSHIT LIKE THAT!? I BARELY BELIEVE IT AND I'VE FUCKING BEEN THROUGH IT!

Sosuke: *Been through the worst day possible, almost died, his people he actually has positive emotions for almost died, made it through with a little more trauma." ... Fuck it. *Kisses his boyfriend, uncaring who sees.* Post Canon Characters and others: *Jaw dropped, choked sounds, sputters, and money and bets exchanging hands*

Sosuke to Canon!Aizen:... You can not tell me you have not wanted to pin Urahara to the wall and stab him a little as you kiss him; I know myself well enough.

And welp, here it is, ask me questions if you want or if anyone gets inspired, let me know!

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Lost in labyrinth mall! An onward fanfic! This fic focuses on Izzyley, a SI x Canon ship!

Part 3!

Izzy and Barley happily chatted during the drive to the mall. Along the way they had exchanged music, which was a little activity they tend to do during any road trips. Barley may introduce Izzy to a song he likes whilst Izzy would do the same. The elf was quite surprised to learn about Izzy’s preferred genre. He didn’t know exactly what she might like but it certainly wasn’t something so loud and full of energy and melody. Her love of dubstep was quite ironic given how she tends to hate most loud noises around her. She even introduced him to a new type of genre he has come to really like, even purchasing some of those songs for himself! Metalstep. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Izzy enjoyed many of his songs as well, she liked rock and metal as well. But she has a weak spot for a “sick” drop. Which would be the last thing one would expect from her.

“So ummm…I’ve actually been having some weird dreams where I can make music.” Izzy started at some point in the conversation.

Barley laughed a little. “Pretty much anyone can make music if they pour their heart’s fire right into it.”

“Yeah, but I mean like with mind powers. Like I can make my own dubstep out of thin air.” Izzy added.

Barley laughed a bit harder, he can see what she meant by weird then. “Now that would be one heck of a skill! Y’know I would listen to anything you make.”

“Well they actually sounded super good! Which kind of makes me wonder if I could become a DJ or something…but then I try to make music and it’s so much that I don’t have any idea what to do.” Izzy sighs. “I can hear the drops perfectly in my head but I can’t figure out how to make them a reality. It gave me a newfound respect for musicians.” She sounded a bit frustrated. In some cases Izzy had dreams where she wished so hard for it to be real, these types of dreams were one of them. Of course there are ones she is grateful that are not only real but she hopes to never ever have again, such as anxiety dreams about her teeth falling out, those ones always unsettle her.

Barley shrugs a bit. “You might be able to one day with enough practice. Actually ya know what. I know you totally can do that.”

Izzy chuckles a bit. “I dunno, it all seems pretty complex to me. I guess one day I might try and learn more about it.”

Her creativity, that was just one of the many things Barley loves about her. She is talented with quite a few things, such a writing, drawing and even sculpting. But the main thing that made her stand out were her ideas. She had so many of them, so many it can get overwhelming for her at times. She would often describe how she doesn’t get art block or writers block, but rather she gets so many ideas she doesn’t know where to start. She calls her brain a factory for concepts and that it’s both a blessing and a curse. Because of how bizarre and unique her ideas are though, Barley has grown obsessed with hearing any stories she may come up with.

They finally arrived at the mall and managed to find a park as well. Izzy looked on ahead and noticed a large tree just in front of the entrance, but this was no ordinary tree…it was alive! But alive in the sense it was sentient and aware. She saw the movement but this was her first time seeing anything like this! “Barley…Is it just me or is that tree moving?” She says nervously, worried if it may be a sign the ancient mall was haunted. Then she thought…’wait…this place could totally be haunted if it was literally a bizarre labyrinth where hundreds of explorers died in horrific ways!’

Barley nodded her head and couldn’t help but giggle as he saw the unease on her face. “Yep, he sure is!” He says.

Izzy looked over at him with a puzzled expression on her face. “He?”

“Haven’t you ever met a whispering elm tree before?” Barley replied with a little teasing smirk.

The imp’s blue eyes shot wide open. “No, I haven’t met one before! I did see them in movies before though- to be honest I actually thought they were fictional.” Izzy says, clearly amazed.

“Yeah, they are actually pretty rare now. They were rare in the olden days but now…it’s like shiny Pokémon sorta rare.” He says, just to give Izzy a better idea.

The couple began to walk towards the entrance. “I…kinda feel sorry for them though. Do you think they ever get bored or lonely being stuck like that?” Izzy asks, as usual she was the type to overthink things but in this case she did have a good point.

The grin on Barley’s face grew larger, as he had more knowledge to share. “For saplings maybe.”

As he had expected, his inquisitive girlfriend cocked her head to the side like a puzzled dragon pup. “Eh?”

As usual, Barley was happy to enlighten her, after giving her a little teaser for it first though of course. He just lots to see her little reactions! “Old elm trees can pull themselves out of the earth and use their roots to walk around.” Barley stated. “However, they can’t walk too far for too long because of how big and heavy their bodies are. So basically, they prefer to be sitting in the soil but they are not bound to it…or at least most of them are not.” He looked a bit saddened as he said this. He then leaned down to Izzy and whispered into her large pink ear. “Don’t bring it up but…the stupid idiots who decided to modify the place built tiles all around this guy and now he can’t move anywhere at all…he is a bit touchy bout it…rightfully so…but best to keep quiet.”

Izzy’s blank expression changed into an extremely exaggerated look of utter rage. Little wrinkles could be seen around her frown and eyebrows, her scowl was that intense. “Those thoughtless, inconsiderate ****s…!” She says with a growl, she has a very dirty mouth and tends to curse without even releasing it.

It actually took Barley a while to get used to her unique language. “Ok, I think ****s is a bit much. But I pretty much do agree with ya.” He says, smiling as he came to admire her feisty personality. She had a real strong sense of right and wrong and he loved that about her as well.

Although upon arriving it seems like Izzy completely forgot about Barley’s warning to not speak of this topic around the old tree, she was just too worked up! The whispering elm looked over to her in shock as she suddenly asked him a question that came from the heart. “Ummm…excuse me? Are you feeling ok?” She asked, worried for the tree’s mental health.

Barley gulped as he immediately clings onto Izzy, almost protectively. “Haha…pssst…don’t provoke him…” he whispered.

The tree spoke in a loud and booming voice, which caused customers who came and go to stare intensely as they pass. “Well if it isn’t the poor excuse of a knight! Think you can whisper around a whispering elm, can you?” He says, sounding angry.

Barley smiled awkwardly. “Aha…so you remember that do ya?” Izzy looked puzzled as her head flung back and forth between the two.

The talking tree had not only a mouth but eyes and a nose as well! His little face scowled, like an angry bitter old man. “How could I forget the man who broke my favourite branch?!” He says bitterly.

“Aww, c’mon, buddy! That was just an accident!” Barley pleaded.

Izzy looked more and more puzzled but the negative energy was starting to make her anxious. She was desperate for answers but had been cut off by the furious old tree. “Um- what’s-“

“If I tore off an arm of yours will you say it’s an accident?” The tree swayed around, a few leaves fall down to the tiles that were placed over him, locking him in place forever.

“Well that depends. If you tore off my arm with the intent to do so that sure as heck won’t be any accident…but-“

“Don’t play games with me! I’ve had enough of you youngsters! Always treating us elm folk as if we were nothing more than mere objects.” The tree sways more, the creaking wood echos around the parking lot in an unsettling manner.

Poor Izzy’s head kept snapping between the two who seemed to have been arguing. She got more and more anxious as she is still left in the dark. Barley continued to defend himself as best he can. “Hey, I was the one trying to help you, remember?”

The whispering elm scoffs. “Some help you were.”

“What is going on?!” Izzy suddenly shouted out. Every living soul quickly glanced towards her, but she ignored the unwanted attention from strangers who passed by, she was just desperate to figure out what was happening.

That is when the whispering elm finally seemed to acknowledge her. “Well young lady, this man here decided to sit his fat rump on my favourite branch and he broke it right off!”

Barley frowns a bit. “I told you it was an accident! Besides…it’ll grow back.”

The tree laughed sarcastically. “Grow back you say? That branch has been part of me for over 50 years! Do you really think it will even grow back the same? It will look completely different! Not only that but for it to simply “grow back” would be decades worth of waiting! Might I remind you time feels even slower being stuck in this retched gloomy place forever?! Why, with the lack of sunlight I am surprised I haven’t even died by now from malnourishment.”

As the tree angrily went on a rant Barley grabbed ahold of Izzy and dragged her inside the mall. Izzy looked back at Barley, still confused. “What was that all about?” She asks, she knew there was more to the story than that. Barley may be reckless but she can’t imagine he would climb all over him and break branches without a valid cause for it.

Barley groans a bit, seemingly embarrassed. “It…wasn’t my finest moment. I was trying to dig out the tiles and help him escape but…the mall cop got to me and I tried to climb away from him and uh…you can probably imagine the rest….argh! I should have done it by nightfall!”

Izzy angrily glared back at the direction where the tree is. “You were just trying to help…Hey, when a whispering elm’s branch breaks off does it hurt them?”

Barley looked quite surprised to hear her ask more questions so soon. It was not like her to move on so quickly. “Erm…well it doesn’t not hurt, but it sure as heck isn’t like getting an arm torn off. From what I have studied it’s more like a small sting, like a paper cut if you will.” Barley says, he smiled a little at the little joke he made towards the end. After all, paper is made from trees.

“Did he need that branch as an arm to grab things?” Izzy asked next.

Barley thought for a moment. Whispering elms can use their branches to swat at things but they could hardly be used as extra limbs to assist them. “Eh…not really. I mean he can move it for a bit but he can’t actually use it for much of anything other than swatting enemies away in Quests of Yore.” Barley stated casually.

Izzy suddenly turned around and stomped her way back towards the grumpy tree. Barley quickly realised why she asked such questions, to try and figure out if he had any right to be angry or upset. She was already furious to see the way he spoke to her boyfriend, but she needed more answers to try and see his point of view. As she had suspected, the tree was just vain about the branch’s appearance, nothing more, nothing less. “Oh no…Izzy! C’mon, just leave it alone!”

[willesworld]

twenty questions for fic writers

Omg this is so fun thank you @zee-has-commitment-issues for the tag! I love these!

How many works do you have on AO3? 111 total and 34 YR fics (and there's more on the way!!)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 403,737 (terrifying but cool!)

What fandoms do you write for? Only Young Royals right now. I don't have the brain space for literally anything else.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (Going with just the YR fics)

feels like

erik's baby

a bit like us

I only want you near me

when the heat comes

The top 4 are Autistic!Wille fics which makes me feel INSANE and AMAZING.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I used to respond to every single one (and I wish I still did), but I'm honestly so tired and burnt out with life so I don't have energy to do it anymore. But I do read every single one, and they make me IMMEASURABLY happy.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmm I think most people would say tense but I'm also quite partial to the angst in It's almost like the deep cuts make us beautiful.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ooh this is interesting because I loooove hurt/comfort with open endings. But I also think that most of my fics have happy endings (because I'm a sap at heart). I think under gentle hands is very nice, and so is I only want you near me.

Do you get hate on fics? Very occasionally, but I don't think it's happened in this fandom. :)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Uhm... yes. I don't actually like men. So. That's interesting. I'm also on the ace spectrum. Also interesting?!?!?! But, yes, I have written smut, although I try to make it more about the feelings and intimacy than the actual sex. And I have another smut fic coming that I hope to post soon😖

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I do not lol. I don't really vibe with crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of?! I hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Once or twice in the Harry Potter fandom yes, but not in the YR fandom!

What’s your all-time favorite ship? Wilmon Wilmon Wilmon Wilmon. I love them. They have my heart.

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Hmm... probably this Autistic!Wille series who has a special interest in stars/space/astrology. I have so many hcs and ideas for that series but I honestly lost interest in writing it.

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm good at writing dialogue and natural conversations!

What are your writing weaknesses? Probably any descriptions or exposition. I don't know how to write the things that I can just see in my head. I also wish I was better at light hearted writing. My dearest friend NerdGirl07 has such a gift for hitting all the emotions while still mixing in some lightheartedness, and I would love to steal this skill from her.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yes. I do it. Why not?

First fandom you wrote for? Shadowhunters 🥲

Favorite fic you’ve written? While looking back through my YR works for this tag challenge, I was actually so proud of myself and the fics I've written hahah! I really do like many of the things I've written! Some highlights though are The daisy follows soft the sun (soulmate AU), the taste of lace & you (fem!wilmon smut I'm actually so proud of this one), and of course the autistic!wille alternate universe (which i hope to work on again soon).

Tagging @piebingo @ishotforthestars @skydragon05 @altruistic-meme if you would like <3

[douevenbleachbro]

I need something else to look at then the fic I’m writing so I’ll do this!

Obviously I’m no book writer so this is coming from a simple fic writer xP

1: I haven’t written a multi-chaptered story in a very, very, long time. When I was younger and I started writing, I very rarely did one-shots. Most of the stuff I wrote was multi-chaptered. Huh, I wonder what changed? 

Anyways, I never wrote chapters before hand and released them in a schedule or anything (logical) like that. The way my brain is wired is that, if I write a chapter, it goes up RIGHT AWAY! I can’t seem to sit on something. Which is crazy ‘cause who is waiting for this? Lol. So what ends up happening is that the other chapters get put in the back burner because I never have the energy or enthusiasm for them as I had for the first chapter. There is a potential multi-chaptered story I’m working on and I want to organize myself better. I will work on at least the first 3-5 chapters first before putting anything out. I don’t plan for it to be too long, but that’s famous last words for me, amirite?

2: Lmao a writing process, can you imagine? Ok, I am trying to get better at this. Originally, my process was called word-vomit. I would get an idea in my head, throw it at the google doc, and arrange words into a story, lol. Sometimes they would become something legible, which is what I would post, but most times I would lose steam halfway and delete the whole thing. There are a few fics (WTIACB, LFTH, and a few WIP’s) that I wish I would’ve wrote differently, or that I started to hate halfway through finishing it, and that was because I wasn’t organized. And I was rushed as well, lol. The GIR round robin chapter and the Rukia week fic are the two that I’m the proudest of because I didn’t just make up a story as I wrote and I think it shows in the quality of the writing. 

So now, what I’m doing is outlining the shit out of my stories. I’m drafting every single detail and letting out the initial steam by dumping everything out of my brain (I put it here on my Tumblr lol) and what I’m left with is either a the foundation of a story I want to write or something that I thought could’ve been a good idea but maybe I don’t care about right now. It helps me clean out my brain of stuff that is just gibberish and organize my ideas into something that I would actually want to work on. Using Tumblr to “idea dump” was really helpful, mainly because I tend to forget things so having a source to go back to is very useful. Also, letting out that initial steam out by dumping the idea here makes my writing better because I actually stop myself and read back and make changes without worrying that I’m gonna “lose it”. I’m sure there are many different methods I can implement but for now, this is what works. My hope is that, with practice, I will improve both my writing skills and my overall grammar as well

Two questions for writers

1: When writing a series how far do you write before publishing the first book [like finish book one & once it's out w/ beta readers start book two, only start the next book after publishing book one, finish the whole series before book one is even out, etc] ?

2: What is your writing process [either what you’ve done from start to publication or what you're doing now & what you plan on doing if you haven't gotten to publishing yet [or if publishing isn't your goal] ] ?

[noctilucous-sunni]

the very tiring, horrible, not at all good day where you were not a track star [sagau]

Part 2. [masterlist]

warnings: swearing, i couldn’t create a cool title, cultish behaviours???, implied violence???, i don’t know what this is and i don’t want to find out, old crusty writing skills reborn!

info/tropes: imposter!au but with humor??, light crack, light comedy, cult!au, gn!reader

notes: like i said in a previous post, ive been on a writing hiatus for 2 years! Which is why this is very self-indulgent and me simply brushing up on my writing skills. It’s rather bad but i had fun writing it haha 🥴🤭 also its my first time writing for sagau! this was my originally intended first writing post bc it was the first thing i wrote for genshin but then i never finished it and then i posted hands as my first written post and here we are, back to the beginning :) i haven’t edited much of this, i just added on to it so my writing skills (and any characterization) in here are super crusty oof.

feat. character(s); diluc

It had been a painfully normal day, and maybe that was the source of all your current problems. You had just completed some exams and instead of studying yet again, you decided to take a short break. As you got home, dragging yourself towards your bedroom, you huffed, letting go of your bags and then collapsed onto the bed quite comfortably. After a few minutes of just lying there and rethinking your life choices, you finally decided to sit up and take out your computer. You hadn’t played Genshin in a while and you felt like rewarding yourself with finishing a quest or redecorating your teapot.

As usual, you quickly and painfully lost track of time. When you checked your phone, you saw the time and winced. 11:30 pm. Did no one call for you? That’s quite odd actually, you would usually be berated by your mom to go downstairs to socialise and eat. How did time fly by so fast? Wait, did you even eat yet? You couldn’t sneak out now, you’d be caught and chastised for staying up on a school night. Instead, you and your growling stomach simply had to deal with it. If your stomach could text emojis to you it would probably send you an angry face. You quickly closed your laptop and placed it on your desk. As you turn off the lights, you yawn before wrapping yourself in a cosy blanket burrito. Not too bad of a day, you supposed.

If only you had known what was going to happen. Your future self was probably laughing at you right now.

As sunlight playfully peeks from behind clouds, you shuffle in your sleep, wishing for five more minutes. When it gets warm, your brain finally starts to wake up. Sitting up, you frown as a calming breeze rustles your hair. Wait.

A calming breeze? You didn’t leave any windows open. HECK, you didn’t even HAVE any windows in your bedroom. Your half-asleep brain was barely processing anything, let alone allow you the energy to sit up and stretch your arms.

Why.. was there grass.. and trees.. and not your bedroom? And was it animated? The grass was nice though, you remarked, threading your fingers through the grass strands. You’re touching grass haha. Albeit, probably not real grass but… still.

You chuckle. Maybe I should go out and touch grass. You think, laughing to yourself because this was absolutely ridiculous. YOU KNEW that you probably would be terrible at surviving in those sagau fics you always read. Thank god this wasn’t that. Phew.

You shake your head, but the very animated grass in front of you hasn't changed. Haha. This is funny. Wake up brain, hello??? You thought, before your face falls. Light panic and worry set on your face. You rub your eyes once more but nothing changes and a worrying realisation sneaks into your thoughts.

No… No! That was crazy talk! You weren’t in a game! That would be insane, and concerning and��

Holy fuck, you were in a game. HOLY-

Genshin, to be exact but YOU KNEW exactly where you were. Windrise?? You pushed the thought away.

Shit. Shit shit shit! This was bad. Bad!! If this was anything like those sagau fics that you adored reading.. then… Well, you were screwed. Hopelessly, horribly, utterly, completely fucked. Only god could help you now.

Huh. Wait, did this mean that you were god now?? DID THAT MEAN THAT YOU COULD ONLY HELP YOURSELF? WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT BE?? To be totally honest, you had no idea if you were but it wouldn’t hurt to check. It actually probably would hurt but still sounds better than finding out through being stabbed by a guard or something, you pondered.

While deep in thought, something cold had nudged your shoulder. You instantly jumped, and let out a yell before realizing that was a very bad and stupid decision. Hoping nobody heard you, you look at where that weird cold thing had been, laughing softly. It was only a couple of cryo slimes. They were really quite cute.

Your hand hovered over one of them, reaching to pat them hesitantly, before letting down your guard. The fact that they weren’t attacking was good wasn’t it?

“Over there!”

Ah. And you thought that you could get away before anyone would notice you. Of course someone heard you. You should have known. The shouts had begun to increase in volume and well… you should probably start running right? The cryo slimes all get very defensive around you and push you in the opposite direction of the approaching guards. They basically do your own work for you when you are too frozen to act. You wish that this was a really weird out of body experience right now but it was starting to be evidently clear that this ‘dream’ or whatever it was, seemed too vivid and realistic that it had to be real. This is not the type of shit you could make up, but oh god you wish it was.

Still unmoving, you watch as guards and angry knights approach, yelling loudly.

“Hi? Heh.” You say and wave awkwardly. What were you doing?? MOVE!! RUN!! You internally yelled at your brain to make your legs function. Oh… you were so fucked. That's when everything starts to get a little too real and you are thrust into action mode. A spear heads your way, barely missing your side by a meter. Another lands right in front of you.

“HOLY SHIT! FUCK! FUCK, IM GOING, OH MY GOD-”

They had horrible aim, fortunately. Really, someone needed to improve the training for these guards and knights. THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO REMARK ON THEIR SPEAR THROWING SKILLS!! You shook your head, jumping into action.

Your feet instantly start moving of their own accord and you continue to let out an excruciating list of curses that even a sailor would be surprised to hear. While heading past Springvale, your legs have already started failing you and as you near the Statue of The Seven near Dawn Winery, you collapse, your body screaming for a break.

Breaths come out in short pants and you lie on your back, looking at the clouds above before closing your eyes briefly. Maybe the guards were gone… and if they weren’t then… Well, you needed this break. The thought of “what if they weren’t” makes you crack one open. But it only leads you to noticing a casted shadow on the ground that wasn’t there before and you instantly get in a defensive position with your hands in front of your face.

“Stop! Don’t come closer! I.. will… punch you in the face!” You shout hesitantly towards whoever you presume is towering over you. When nothing happens, you look up confused, only to see Diluc, mirroring your own expression of confusion.

“Your grace?”

“Whoa, you are so pretty, what the fuck.” You said absentmindedly before covering your mouth with your hand. “Oh shit. I mean… uh..” You stumble over your words as you stare at the pyro vision holder in awe and then wince.

Diluc blushes lightly, and he coughs, looking away for a mere second before returning his gaze to you.

“Your Grace…” He starts to say before hearing you wince.

Frowning, he crouches down to your level to inspect you better. “Are you alright? Have you been injured?”

You flinch lightly as he gets closer and then you try to scoot backwards a bit, still suspicious of how much he is not trying to kill you. Unlike those guards that were chasing you earlier. How rude.

“I’m not going to harm you, your grace… I’m simply worried, I…”

“I’m fine.. but… didn’t you hear some news about an imposter??” You ask, cautiously waiting for his answer.

He sighs, shaking his head. He starts speaking but you end up not listening and instead simply stare at him, how he looks absolutely gorgeous and how his hair looks so pretty and soft and you almost reach your hand out to touch it. And this is when your head and memories became fuzzy.

It had become cold and wet all of a sudden?? You remember you had tried to stand up but then the ground met your face yet again, or very nearly did. And then it wasn’t really cold and wet?? You remember your legs and feet aching and then you simply became warmer?? Darkness clouded your vision soon after that. The timeline of events were very confusing to you and your poor brain was too exhausted and muddled from well, everything that had been occurring since you awoke.

Diluc looks at your unconscious form in his arms, after you previously attempted to stand. All of a sudden, he had to catch you haphazardly when you failed. He sighs, brushing some strands of your hair away from your sweaty and rain-soaked face. “Your grace..?” He calls worriedly, suddenly aware of how hot your forehead was, despite the rain cooling you down, it probably made you worse. The wine tycoon stands up, keeping you close in his arms as he hurries back to the Winery, not wanting to stay in the rain for too long, especially due to your current condition and health.

a/n: this was about 1.5k i think hehe. yes i am making a part two. hope you enjoyed whatever the hell this was hahaha.

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

15, 16, & 19!

15 Favorite sunny fic(s)

There are so many amazing ones it’s hard to choose! I would say the ones currently sticking to my brain the most are: The Gang Learns to Exist in the Moment, Wishing Well, Stubborn Selfish and Easily Jealous, and The Way We Look to Us All. Spoilery ramblings as to why under the cut because I can’t help but gush a bit over these lol

16 Random hot take

This is a SPICY one but. I am not optimistic about macden actually becoming canon. I would love for them to be canon, I think it makes sense for the characters and it think it would create a lot of comedic potential, but I’m also a bit of a pessimist, and I personally think RCG finds it funnier to have them have an almost-kind-of relationship than an actual confirmed one. I feel like if anything they’ll be canon at the end of the very last episode and then they’ll die or something as a last joke about how these people don’t deserve to be happy after all they’ve done. But who knows, maybe I’m wrong

19 If you had the skill/talent/time to create any content you wanted, what would you want to make?

If I had the energy I would write a million macdennis fics I have so many ideas. If I had the skill/talent I would draw a bunch of funny/sappy ship art

The Gang Learns to Exist in the Moment

Oh my god ok where to start with this one. This one buzzes around in my brain constantly. Holy fuck the funeral scene where Dennis is super drunk and his and Dee’s family gets all judgey and Dee stands up and says “He was a terrible father to us, you understand?” UGH. That makes me feel so many things I think about that scene all the time. Mac’s therapy sessions where his therapist tries to help him realize he’s gay are so sweet. It wouldn’t have fit with the tone of the actual show at all but sometimes I wish they were canon because it’s such a great exploration AND WHEN HE SAYS HE LIKES SUPER MASC GUYS AND HIS THERAPIST POINTS OUT DENNIS ISNT SUPER MASC AND MAC LIKES HIM?? I die in the best way possible just get rend in twane oh my lord. Dennis’ fight with Dee is so real and is resolved so beautifully. Charlie learning to read finally??? The star charts! The “real” funeral at the end AND HOW IT WRAPS WITH THEM FINALLY SINGING TOGETHER AGAIN. Fuck. I literally wept. I’m whirring just thinking about it now.

Wishing Well

This one is still ongoing but already I have so many Feelings. The metaphor with the burning apartment. Dennis thinking talking to Mac about missing him is a dream when it’s clearly a memory he was just so drunk??? FUCK. That’s good shit. Convincing Cricket to marry them secretly like the dumbass he is. THE BATHROOM KISS. Mac getting his memories back but not telling Dennis?? The reveal that Dennis is the first one who called him Mac instead of Ronnie AHHHHH. Literally always thinking about this one and aching for more. Can’t wait to see how this one ends

Stubborn, Selfish, and Easily Jealous

Poor Trevor. Honestly I’m usually not a fan of fics about a third party getting between a ship but this one is so well done I was hooked start to finish. I love Dennis’ dream sledgehammer and him “leaving” it on the elevator at the end. I love how Trevor is genuinely a good boyfriend and it doesn’t pull the whole “well obviously ship should be together because third party is terrible anyway” stuff I hate. It does such a good job showing that Mac and Dennis love each other while showing the reasons they aren’t together and why Mac wants to be with Trevor despite Dennis finally reciprocating his feelings. And when Mac starts cheating with Dennis it gives me such complex feelings it’s *chef kiss*. The hospital scene holy shit. The epilogue! There’s so much real human stuff here it’s so good.

The Way We Look to Us All

This one is pure Dennis angst, and you all know I live for that. Dennis struggling to accept his sexuality, and his age, and his obvious feelings for Mac is so so good. I love how the sex scenes mesh with Dennis’ character arc and the themes. I love them trying to punish/help Charlie and Frank. I love Dennis’ freak out to Artemis. It’s been some time since I last read it but it’s still inside my heart and soul.

[dirty-bosmer]

Hi!! I've been following you for a while, but I'm shy so I hope you don't mind that I'm on anon. I've ben wanting to write fic for a few months but it seems rather intimidating with all of the stories that are already out there. I saw one of your writing ask replies where you had mentioned it being okay to compare yourself to others as long as you do so critically, and wondered if you could expand on that if you don't mind? It's honestly one of my biggest hang-ups >.<

Oh totally! I should preface this by saying that I'm well aware of all the writing advice lists that will tell you "comparison is the thief of joy," and “absolutely under no circumstances should you compare yourself to others.” While I think there is value to that advice, it’s a really hard part of our brain to turn off. Most people possess some degree of awareness lol. We’re perceptive. We notice things that others are doing around us, and it’s natural to ask “how are we similar? What are we doing that’s different?” My approach to these observations is that if I’m not doing anything positive with them, they really don’t serve me, so when I’m reading, I’ll ask myself, “how is the author building intrigue? Why am I so fond of these characters? Why is this passage so pleasing?” It takes practice and a lot of self-reflection to apply this to your own writing, but that’s what I mean by a critical eye. It’s kind of like research, and if I’m not comparing my writing to that of better writers, I don’t feel I will ever grow in my craft.

Another thing, and idk if this is a side effect of having my ass handed to me in grad school, but I’ve found a lot of peace in acknowledging that there will always be someone more skilled than I, more passionate than I, smarter, better, more successful than I. Rather than this being a source of grief, it’s actually quite freeing? I’ve stopped trying to compete with these people. Instead, I try to learn from them. I find them inspiring, and I think placing a higher value on being able to say “I am growing, and I am improving,” over some arbitrary or numerical measurement of “success” is something most people would benefit from.  

And speaking of “success,” if you’re starting out with fanfic, don't bother with stats. This is a place where I think comparison will more often than not lead to despair lol. Fanfic is a hobby. We write it for fun, and in my opinion, the moment you start getting hung up on performance metrics and engagement is the moment you start to jeopardize your happiness. It’s great to have an audience, and I’m so appreciative of all my readers, but I started writing for myself, because I found it fulfilling, because it relieved stress, and since I’m not getting paid, my joy is always going to be a more reliable source of creative energy than those derived from extrinsic motivators. 

Also, with regard to stats, another thing to keep in mind is that (and this is true with many forms of art and media) very popular titles can be fairly mediocre while some truly phenomenal works will receive so little attention that it borders on criminal. And before anyone takes offense, I’m not saying that rough or unpolished or poorly written fics are without value, only that fanfic is quite a different beast than original work. With fic, you already have an audience that is primed to be invested in your story. People want wish fulfillment. They want to read their favorite characters in crazy situations. They want to have fun and enjoy silly romps, and they want to see the same tropes over and over again (it’s me— I am people). The nature of the game is that if the story you want to write doesn’t include those things, there is a chance it won’t gain a lot of traction. But at least it’s your story, yeah? And at least it will bring you joy :)

Sorry for rambling. I hope that clarifies what you were asking 😅 The TL;DR is if you write and want to improve your skill, it’s really important to learn from those around you. Comparison is most likely going to happen anyway, so you might as well make it work for you. And if you don’t want to improve, that’s totally fine! Not everyone is writing or reading fic for the craft, and this is just what works for me :)

Thanks for the ask! I really enjoy thinking and talking about these things 💕

[rebloged-content]

Recommended Sanders Sides creators

Marry Christmas, everyone! And a wonderful December day to all of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, too. Let’s be honest right off the bat, though: I’m only using the date as an excuse to do this list anyways.

So. Throughout the time I’ve spent as a part of this wonderful corner of the sanders sides fandom over here on tumblr, I’ve often found a new creator and wished I’d found them sooner. It kind of makes me wonder who else I might miss. If you do to, here are a few creators I’d love for you to check out. You’ll probably recognize some of the names, if not all, but maybe you’ll find a new favorite creator here?

And to the creators in question, I really love your content. If you’ve made it onto this list, you’ve definitely cause one or two sleepless nights of reading for me, because who needs sleep if I can have this, right? XD Whatever you’ll find written next to your name is the impression you’ve left on me and… Well, just know that you’ve made some days of my life at least a little happier, all of you. And I hope to repay the favor by telling you how much I appreciate you releasing your content into this world… Well, repay the favor at least a little, I suppose.

Let’s begin, then, shall we?

@5am-the-foxing-hour Because this? This is who you go to if you want to read good Janus-content. You are in a mood to read sympathetic Janus? Wanna see the danger noodle just casually interact with other sides? Go to their short stories. I mean, “the cult”? Prime example of how to tell a story with impact in just a few words. 8 paragraphs, but boy did I read that one on repeat. Or “water spray bottle”, this one is fun, short and will make you laugh. An energy drink for the fander heart, so to say.

Then there’s their mafia-au, “there’s more in me than precious metals”. Six are out so far, and I adore every single word of every single part of this. Protective Remus, sassy Janus, angst, comedy relief, destruction, Roman-Remus-sibling-rivalry, braincell Logan, survival instinct Virgil, working together over a common enemy… This fic has it all, believe me. Take your time and read it, because you will read the entire thing in one go once you start. At least I did, and I didn’t even notice.

And their advent writings? Those had me squealing and jumping around in a way I will deny if anyone ever sees it. I don’t even know what else to say, they are fucking fantastic and that’s that.

So, yeah. Go check them out, before I start fangirling about them even more. You know my personal favorites now, so just go there. You won’t regret it.

Next up is @coconut-cluster. Ah, yes, Lexi. Lexi, whose uni-AU started as self indulgent and has become the loceit story on tumblr. We all know her, or at least most of us do, and we all love her too. And while I also drop everything I do at any point of time I possibly can once I realize the uni-au has any form of new addition, there are a lot of other fics created by her that you should check out as well.

Did you, for example, ever want a sappy prinxiety one-shot with the sappiness only being implied, a mutual understanding of “we’re-not-saying-we-care-but-we-both-know-we-do” born from joking reassurances and a not-a-date-nope-only-a-break? While that may seem to be a tall order, that is exactly what “before the sun goes down” is. Plus there’s ice cream. Or maybe you’re more of a logince fan? Do you want a fic where Roman isn’t the prince but serves His Highness? Do you like sincere talks while you’re procrastinating showing your face to the subjects you don’t really want to rule over? In that case, you really should read “Viva la Vida”. Careful, though, this one is so sweet you’ll probably get a toothache… There also is an analogical fic that I’ve enjoyed very much: “Cracks in the Ceiling”. I love it, because it’s just calm. Fears creeping up on you, thrown away by a trusted friend with a few words, just by being there and playing into the metaphors you head created this time around. It’s calm, and there’s not really a climax or anything, but it doesn’t need one. Because it’s just a glance into everyday life. It’s beautiful in its own right, really.

What I’m saying is, Lexi has a lot more wonderful stories to tell than the uni-au. It’s the most popular one, sure, and it’s one of her best works. But you really should check out her other fics as well. Lexi herself once said that she writs fics she’d like to read. I would figure it’s because of this, but her stories are mostly things you don’t really find anywhere else. Dynamics, stories, world building, all of those are aspects you may find somewhere else. But Lexi is just one of those people who see what they miss in a fandom and create it themselves, and among these creators Lexi is my favorite. She just has that certain skill that makes that approach to writing result in the most enjoyable reading experiences. Lexi’s fics are special, because they’re different, because they are authentic and you can feel that when you’re reading her work.

@djpurple3 is another talented individual I want to talk about. I have to confess, DJ is, as far as original content goes, almost exclusively locked in my brain with the fiction “I just keep loosing my beat”. 23 Chapters so far, one better than the last. It’s a bitter-sweet story following Remus and his children, after the bitch of a mother has been brought behind bars. Abusive piece of shit. Yeah, I don’t like her much. But the story is so full of love and support, everyone trying their best, everyone seeing how much the others deserve the world and wishing they could give it to them… Roman and Remus have a sibling-dynamic I would die for here, too. Patton is just the most adorable friend to Deceit - here Damion - Virgil is a precious bean, Logan is cute and the teacher we all wish he’d had ourselves and… god, I could keep gushing about this fic forever. I’ll stop now, though, before I’ll start spoiler things. Wouldn’t want to do that, especially since I really, really, really want more people to give this a go. It’s not underrated, I just think everyone who doesn’t is missing out by a lot, so… Go over there and read DJ’s fic right fucking now, if you haven’t already read it at least once. Thank you.

@delimeful​, our wonderful lime-friend with a cute cat making a terrifying face in his header. First of all, there is the WIBAR universe, short for “Watch it burn and rust”. 5 chapters in act one, 4 intermissions (one of those with three chapters), one chapter of act two, as well as three extras and an au of this au called “the end of being alone”, and I’ve lost count of how many nights I spent reading those instead of sleeping like I should. (Or interacting with family. Or being productive. Or… It’s really a good story, okay?!) WIBAR is a deathworlder au. So a space au in which humans are regarded as dangerous deathworlders who can survive on a deathworld like earth. In other words, Virgil is the only human, and boy does that scare everyone around him. And the best part? You can feel the development, the shift in mentality regarding Virgil, feel the moment approach in which he isn’t a threat but a companion instead.

And, apart from the fic that inspired me enough to start writing “TINND!R?” over on my writing blog, there are a lot more amazing fics to read on lime’s blog. He wrote “How easy you are to need”, for example. It’s soft, it pulls at just the right heartstrings, it’s achingly hopeful and, god, the ending still has me in tears, even after the fifth - ? sixth? something among those lines - reread. This one’s a werewolf au, actually. Virgil is the werewolf, Logan, Patton and Roman are the humans.

Do you want yourself some of that pre-AA dynamic? I’d recommend “to taste your beating heart”. In this, Virgil gets separated from the rest of his group of vampire hunters and gets turned into a vampire himself, loosing his memories. And he’s “Anx” now, not “Virgil”, goddamnit! He isn’t their friend anymore, why don’t they understand that? Well, probably because they can still see Virgil’s old habits shining through. There’s a lot of tension, a lot of angst and a whole lot of frustration involved in this.

He also wrote some amazing one-shots. They’re mostly so well written that I’m almost sad not to be waiting on a continuation. There’s “the littlest mermaid”, in which Virgil goes to investigate a noise, finding a scared, tiny mermaid in need of help. In “community gardens” we have Remus being Remus, gaining the interest and friendship of the forest’s giant Logan. “Magical mutualism” tells the tale of a witch and a demon making a pact beneficial to both parties and opening the doors neither could have gone beyond alone. The way we’re all confused about our ships not actually having set sail yet comes to a hight in Virgil in regards to his friends in “amateur matchmakers”. And this is the point at witch I stop talking before I actually recommend every single one of lime’s fics instead of just my favorites as I had planed because I started to gush too much… XD

Let’s move on to @muppenthings​. Mupp is an amazing artist and she created a giant mermaid au. There’s this one orca who’s just… We love her, but I actually don’t think she’s the brightest. I really, really love her, though. Virgil himself is being a little protective over his human friends and casually so. I love this comic series for the art style, but I also love the way it makes me crack a laugh at least once per work. Or appeal to my mother-instincts, if it’s about baby Virgil. Too cute for his own good, I tell ya! And the facial expressions! The detail, the jokes, everything about this is wonderful. You should at least take a look.

@whenisitenoughtrees​. Cat got me with “This cup of yours tastes holy (This lie is dead)”. “A slow voice on a wave of phase” was next, later “Infinity and beyond”, “we are not alone in the dark with out demons” and “changing of the guard”. And then, suddenly, the night was over. I’ve read almost all of the fics in one go, and I’ve been semi-frequently visiting her master post ever since. When “There’s an endless road to rediscover” came out just a little while back, that lead to me re-reading through almost the entire list. I don’t regret it, my plans for that weekend would like to disagree.

These six fics I mentioned here are, by no means, the only ones I enjoyed. Those are just the ones I’ve found myself opening up again and again in sleepless nights. Those are the ones that pop up in my head and have me smiling to myself in the middle of god-knows-whatever-I’ve-been-doing-at-the-time.

Angst, fluff, hurt-comfort, you’ll find everything in that list. And something I’ve grown to like about Cat’s fics even more than anything else is the quick change between feeling perplexed, a startled laugh at certain wordings (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it) and apprehension. These fics will have you at the edge of you seat, swooping you away on an emotional roller coaster. And, god, the way Cat writes from Remus’ perspective? The introductions of her stories and the way she redirects to the main topic after going into detail on something? I saved a few paragraphs as screenshots on my phone because I love them and I want to read them again when I’m down. I just… Cat’s great.

Next up is @eliemo. Because Elias Virgil is the royalty of Virgil angst. From the touch-starved Virgil we’ve all had a head cannon of at one point in “Heart of Ice”, over ace Virgil panicking over telling his boyfriends that he his ace and didn’t think to tell them before in “Love our way” to so, so much more.

Mostly EV follows the story arc of an underlying feeling of dread at the beginning, which slowly grows into panic, exploding in a storm of angst and concludes in everyone, or at least whoever is around, coming to the rescue and helping to calm down, with the end being the hope for getting better in the future. They always manage to convey the confusion, fear or just the general thought process so well that you can’t help but get absorbed in the story. They know exactly what to say and what to leave between the lines to get the maximum effect. And, your heart will definitely be shattered after their angst. Still, the way the sides comfort each other and support each other so well every time is just… I love their stories, a lot.

I want to make two more suggestions if you want to check out this creator. A Janus angst fic, which can only be described as “ouch” you’ll find under the name “snake bite”. It hurts in the best way possible, because Janus gets the comfort he deserves.

The other suggestion gets a lot darker. It’s about Virgil having been abused by the “others” before he got accepted into the light side. The others are shocked to find out what has gone on behind their backs and they help Virgil in every way they can to recover. Of cause it’s a rocky path, though. This would be “Learned Behavior”. The series/au has twelve stories so far, one of which has two parts. You’ll find the master post for this pinned to the top on their blog.

If you like angst, you should also give @maybedefinitely404​ a look. Ly has a soulmate-au going, in which they use the concept of “you hear the music your soulmate listens to”. "Music in my head” is a prinxiety fic, but the two of them have yet to meet. Four chapters and two mini-fics in. The reason I mentioned angst is because in this - spoiler alert for the first few chapters here - , Virgil gets put through conversion therapy. Luckily Janus and Logan are better foster parents than the ones who did that to him.

They also have a master list for all their soulmate stories, featuring different ships. Apparently they participated in soulmate month, if I understood that correctly. And to be honest, that was how I even found their account. I absolutely adore their anxceit fic, which takes place in a human au. It’s starting off pretty sad, but the bonding moments are absolutely wonderful. It’s a lovely story, and the ending is one of the best ones I’ve yet to read. Their logince fic took my breath away, too. A flower shop/tattoo artist au, and Logan is the tattoo artist. Stunning writing, wonderful world building, just the right amount of backstory to have everything make sense without overwhelming/drowning the reader in unnecessary details. Their moxceit fiction… Well, this one had me in tears within the first few paragraphs. It’s terrible and you feel for Janus, whose perspective this is written from. The ending, though… Gods! The ending was so indescribably cute. To be honest, all of the soulmate stories are great, these three are just my personal favorites.

Concerning their one shots, you’ll probably have to figure it out on your own concerning this. I haven’t been able to read all of them yet, as sad as that makes me. Definitely palling on doing it in the future, though. I did read two of them, though. “Pippity poppity” really was amusing, and I am so looking forward to the second part of “The Boy who sings next door”. The way they write the dynamics between the sides? I live for that.

Another creator I would like to recommend is @maybe-im-tired.They don’t have a master post, as far as I could see, but they only post their content anyways, so… “Can’t take my eyes off of you” is my favorite out of their fics so far. I mean, the way they managed to fit the sheer chaos that is intrulogical into this one short fic is amazing. And you could take about two thirds of what Remus said and put it up on your wall as out-of-contexts-quotes. Don’t worry, he says them out of context anyways, and they will definitely make you laugh. 

The series of short stories for the human au that starts with “Glowing stars” is another au by them that you will almost certainly like. We have Logan and Virgil as kids (about 7 I think), Remus and Patton as single parents, Roman as the most adoring uncle, Emile as babysitter and Remy as his amazing partner. Remus is a great father, wonderfully chaotic as well. And a teacher! Imagine that, Remus as your teacher... He’s great with kids though, as long as they aren’t entitled villains come to make his precious Virgil feel bad, that is.

They also wrote a bunch of “random one shots”. They are all amazing, but my favorite has to be this one. It’s a logince one, once again human au. Patton may or may not tell his big brother’s crush about the feelings he wasn’t prepared to share yet. You know, as small kids do. It’s soft, it will make you smile as much as Logan does, and I love Remus in it. I generally like how they write Remus, okay? I know how much I’ve said it, but I’m not even exaggerating. They always write him differently, and all versions they write him as are so, so lovable and just… I wanna hug the life out of all Remus versions they wrote, okay? Take a look, you’ll know why.

Anyways. Let’s continue with @figurative-siren-song. This is the last account I’ve followed and I’m still sad about it having taken me this long to find them. Little salty, to be honest. (I’ll stick to they/them because they said just not to use she/her, and, well… consistency, you know? Don’t have much, so I have to get what I can XD). When I finally did find them, I went through their entire master list (at least all of the ships with characters I actually know. I’m kinda bad with the shorts characters, so I usually just… avoid them? Idk. Personal preference, I guess), and, well… I would honestly recommend every single fic on that list. They call themself “Repair Fluff King™️” and they deserve that title. But when they warn you that a fic will be angsty, it will be angsty.

I found them through the anxceit fic “A Deal”. Well, through an animatic by their friend on youtube that had linked the fic, but details. I’ve been reading this fic up and down again and again. It’s just so good! And when they talk in the second part and Janus explains why he proposed that deal. Or in the continuation, which i can’t talk about because I will probably spoiler things! So wholesome!

 Also, their losleepxeity fic “We’re worth it”. So soft! The nicknames, the plot, the everything. It’s softer than clouds look, and we all know that means something.

But, really. Everyone will find something for them by this creator. So many ships, all incredibly well written, and soft and fluffy without getting boring in the slightest. It’s as energizing as coffee, actually. And, let’s be honest, this whole fandom drowns itself in angst most of the time. Take a break from that, repair your broken hearts with goof fluffy content that you’ll want to read over and over again. Go check this creator out. You will love them. 

Last but not least… @myfriendsasthesides​ A blog by a creator who just takes the wonderfully chaotic dynamics of a friend group and using that to give us content of incorrect sides quotes. Maybe it doesn’t fit with me going on and on about fics here. I don’t care. Follow them and turn on those notifications, please, because seeing even one post of theirs on your dashboard will make your day. It’s funny, it’s absurd, it’s chaotic, it’s making you jealous of them for having friends like that. Believe me, you will want to see those posts. It’s just… the random shots of serotonin and dopamine out generation needs really fucking desperately 100% of the time. 

That’s it with the list! Eleven creators I absolutely adore, and I’m sorry I was babbling so much all the way through, but… Well, actually I’m not sorry. And actually, half of the reason I even made this post is to tell them how much I love them and fangirl about them a bit. So… Yeah. Well.I love you guys and hope you’ll have a wonderful day! And to everyone else reading this: I hope this helped you ind some new creators you can enjoy. And a good day to you too, of cause.

Sincerely, Joy 🖤

(@joylessnightsky/@sanders-sides-fic)

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[logicheartsoul]

Hey! I hope this is OK to ask but do you have any tips on completing multi chap works? I’m in a pickle, I tend to create large complex plots with tons of chapters, but falter to actually write anything past the first five chapters. I do oneshots now & then to finish s o m e t h i n g, but i would really like to finish a bigger fish so to speak (oh but no pressure on answering if this makes you uncomfortable! Have a nice day! :] )

On one hand, I'm quite flattered and honored that you asked me this question, on the other hand, I wish I could give you better concrete answers because I have: 1) a huge, chronic WIP pile problem (I have over 600+ wips I've accumulated since 2016); 2) I am one of those people who finishes oneshots and posts them or I have extremely huge wips just...sitting there, unfinished (I can definitely list you word counts on those, they range from 12K to like...over 70K. I know, it's a problem lmao!); 3) Before 2016, I had a problem finishing multi-chaptered stories, and I promised myself to not write any more and now, I have one I haven't...finished either though I know how the entire story goes (mostly because it's going to go into some extremely dark/heavy topics and the climate right now I don't have the mental energy to deal with it).

For the times I've been consistently on a writing roll (one time I wrote over 100K+ of words within a month-ish, but not all on the same project, some were snippets, some were oneshots), what helped me a bit on that was actually have cheer readers? I had friends where I would literally post the works and they would read all excited. Granted, it was shared on discord, but the principle applies. They were people who supported me but also whose writing opinions I respected, I think that's key.

Honestly though, the differing kinds of advice I could give, I've only heard from friends I know. Some of them love outlining or doing detailed notes. Some of them just like talking about it and having someone to soundboard off. And the thing with long stories though is to have some kind of patience -- unless you end up zipping off and finishing something from start to finish something lengthy in one long burst and also potentially losing sleep -- these things take time to develop and grow, and actual physical energy to create: the act of typing, the brain energy it takes to actually think about the worlds, the characterizations, the plots, etc.

Some people I know like to take time to dedicate at least a "little" bit to putting the words into the story, either through timed sprints, or a word count limit (ex. "write 500 words for this draft this week") or whatever. I have a friend whose been working on this fic for over 15 years and it's not finished, but real life has gone in the way. You gotta work with your mental and physical health reserves and try to work with your life's schedule. It's fun to create but don't do it at the expense of your wellbeing or treat it like a job or something that'll make you hurt because then it'll make it harder to finish.

Also, I do remember reading a post about working up to being able to churn out a lot of words very quickly. The thing is, that's as much a skill, as anything else. And most people do not start out being able to write fast. Back in 2016, after I came off a 10 year writing hiatus, I didn't know future me would be able to concoct a 20k-ish draft of something in a day if I was inspired. I wrote oneshots that some ended up becoming longer than others and worked my way up. Some of that had to do with having a writing partner for a short while but another was just... to try to finish a draft of a longfic that was completed, even if I never posted it.

I still consider that an accomplishment, even if the way I went about it was NOT healthy (and I do not advise anyone to do what I did but I also recently at the time was out of college and unemployed at the time so I could do this), but I had spent over 36? ish hours typing this 12K story just taking stops for food and bathroom breaks. It wasn't the most prettiest of drafts and it's hella hella rough, but for the first time I was able to look at something I did and go: "Hey, it's a longfic. It's completed. It's done. Wow." (And then I ended up passing out for 18 hours.)

Perhaps doing something like that might help, along with people who might be able to read your work while you're working on it to be like 'AHHHH THIS IS GREAT I CAN'T WAIT' or whatever. Slowly work your way up to the kind of really complex story you want to write. Or you could reward yourself with something when you got to certain milestones in the fic you wanna write. And there's no shame in working on more than one fic at a time, if you can handle that. (I have some friends who are one story at a time people and that's totally ok.) There's nothing wrong either with taking a step back to breathe and have a fresh set of eyes on your story either.

I dunno if you've posted the first five chapters or not on some of your stories, some friends of mine suggested I do that to motivate me. If you haven't done this, maybe that might work for you! (Sadly, it does not work for me. My track record sadly speaks for itself lmao)

I do know for certain though, I end up writing more and putting more into the stories when I actually feel ok. As in I feel I have enough physical and mental energy, that my physical and mental health and things going in my life are doing moderately "ok". I haven't written much in months and my actual desire/urge to do so without it feeling painful has been going on for awhile. But I know right now I need to focus on that, and it's been kinda good, coming back in bits and pieces in the last week or so, but it's not there yet. I know it will be though.

So, honestly, anon, I am in the same boat as you and I wish I could give you some tried and true tips. All I can give you is examples of other friends' who have worked on things and their process and methods -- and these are people who have finished multi-chaptered works. Sometimes having small goals helps. Sometimes organizing things helps (outlines or detailed notes or some infographic timeline or etc). Having cheer readers around is nice (and does kinda work for me). Sometimes doing timed sprints (whether they're 5 or 10 minute or longer) by yourself or with others helps.

If anyone has any better suggestions, feel free to let anon know!

[cafecitowriter]

I wish you would write a fic where they assign Peggy to protect Steve on the USO circuit as one of the USO dancers. If she likes it or not is up to you :)

Hi okay first of all thank you so much for this! 

Second, sorry this took a hot second, but this absolutely got away from me. I hope you like it!!!

...

No matter how Peggy spun it, this new assignment was nothing more than glorified babysitting.

She knew full well that her skills would be better suited to continue working under Colonel Phillips, going undercover and gathering crucial intel for the Allied cause. That’s exactly what she had been doing - successfully, she might add - for months now. She could do more damage to Hydra and the Nazis if she was out in the field.

Colonel Phillips knew it too. At least, that’s what Peggy assumed, seeing as he put up more of a fight than she’d expected when he learned that she was being transferred from the front lines to join the USO circuit to take care of Steve Rogers.

Now known as Captain America.

Or at least, that’s what he was being called in the USO tour.

Peggy had studied his file as part of her research, and she’d heard she grumblings from the other men in camp about Project Rebirth and its “failure”, as they chose to phrase it.

Truthfully - and silently - Peggy thought his transformation was nothing short of a miracle. He went from being 5’4”, 90 pounds with a novel of ailments to being what could only be described as a super soldier.

Why he was being relegated to show business, with her as his undercover bodyguard, Peggy couldn’t understand. He could be so much more, if they’d let him.

That at least, she could sympathize with.

“This is your cover,” Phillips told her gruffly, handing her a thin file. “I hope you’ve been practicing your American accent.”

“Betty Carver?” she scoffed incredulously as she read the name on the page.

At least she wouldn’t have to dye her hair.

...

Peggy took a bus with the rest of the USO girls to their hotel in Brooklyn. They were to have a few days of rehearsals, and then they would run for two weeks here before moving on to their next stop.

One woman in particular, Beth, had taken an instant liking to Betty. When Beth asked Betty if this was her first tour, she had sheepishly admitted it was her first gig ever. Beth spent the rest of the bus ride talking her ear off, giving her advice, telling her stories of performances gone right and wrong, and most importantly, assuring her that she had an entire support system of women if she ever needed help.

They were sisters now, Beth had told her.

Though Peggy was miles from where she wanted to be, she could begin to see the some slight silver lining to the whole ordeal.

Luckily enough, Betty and Beth are paired up to share a room - and Peggy was almost certain that Beth had something to do with that, which made her respect for the women grow tenfold.

“You coming, Bet?” Beth asked, looking more than ready to head down to dinner.

“I’ll be down in just a minute,” she smiled. “I like to unpack first.”

Peggy waited for Beth to exit before taking a deep breath. She then set to work, checking the room for any hearing devices, seeing what vantage points she had to work with, and double checking the gun in her thigh holster that she’d made herself, just for the occasion.

She then unpacked her entire suitcase, since that’s what she told Beth she was currently up to.

A knock at the door startled her. Peggy straightened up and slowly approached the door. She left her hand close to where her gun was hidden underneath her skirt, knowing that she might need to draw it at a moment’s notice.

“Hi. I’m Steve Rogers.”

Now, Peggy had read everything there was to know about Steve Rogers.

What her reading hadn't prepared her for, was how boyishly handsome he was, the intensity of his blue eyes, or his disarming smile.

"Hi," she said simply, her brain managing to forget all other words in existence.

Get a grip, Carter.

“Betty Carver,” she added quickly.

“Nice to meet you ma’am.”

“Ma’am?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at him. “I can’t tell if you’re overly polite, or if I look that much older than I actually am.”

“Just how I was raised,” he shrugged sheepishly.

“Betty’s just fine, Captain,” she told him, giving him a reassuring smile.

The tips of his ears went pink at the title.

“Betty, then,” he conceded, rubbing the back of his neck, though Peggy couldn’t help but notice that his smile never faltered.

“I thought we were meeting you at dinner,” she asked curiously.

“I was there,” he told her. “One of them - Beth - told me you were still up here, but it’s been a while and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” she said, softer than she’d intended.

“And as I can see, you’re doing just fine,” he said, looking suddenly awkward, as though he thought he was intruding on her space. “So I’ll uh, I’ll see you down there, Betty.”

“We can walk down together,” she offered before he could turn to leave.

It would be easier to protect him if she made friends with him, and there was no time like the present to begin forming that relationship.

“I’d like that,” he smiled, offering her his arm.

Peggy suppressed a smile, but accepted his arm.

“Seems like you were raised right, Captain.”

…

As assignments went, Peggy had to (begrudgingly) admit it wasn’t flat out terrible.

The choreography was simple enough that with her limited dance experience, Peggy could get through it, and there were enough women around that she could sing mostly under her breath.

Betty had made a very close friend in Beth, as as a few of the other women as well - Guadalupe and Gwen in particular.

Then there was Steve.

He and Betty had gotten along well since he’d walked her to dinner the first night.

Peggy really liked him, too.

He was nothing like what she’d imagined. Though she’d tried not to make any judgements before meeting him, she had had enough experience with soldiers letting their newly appointed rank go to their head.

Steve however, kept surprising her. He was incredibly gentle for someone so large and strong, kind despite the fact that he was handsome enough that he could get on without having to be.

He also liked to take walks at night, as she’d accidentally learned when she’d encountered him one evening while doing a perimeter check of their latest hotel. He had too much energy, and couldn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

Something that he’d gained from the serum, he’d told her.

She’d lied and said she always had trouble sleeping in different places, and would take a walk to ease her mind.

He frowned at the idea of her being out alone at night, and offered to take walks with her.

While Peggy was more than capable of protecting herself, Betty was relieved and took him up on his offer eagerly.

Besides, if he was up and out in the middle of the night anyway, it would do well for Peggy to be with him should trouble crop up.

Most nights, they would now both sneak away from their rooms and take a walk together. They would designate a meeting place, and afterward, Steve would always walk her right back to her door.

As the weeks wore on, so did their walks get longer, and the more Peggy learned about Steve Rogers.

He talked of his mother, how she had worked so hard to care for him, how much he loved and missed her.

She learned of his best friend, who stood by his side no matter how many alley fights he got into. Who was finally shipped off, leaving Steve alone.

Steve eventually confided to her that he had only ever wanted to serve his country, that he wanted to be a soldier and help the little guy. That with each passing city they performed in, he felt more lost and useless.

“You were meant for more than this,” Peggy found herself telling him one night, as they were both seated on a park bench.

“How do you know?” he asked, starting out at the moon.

“You’re a good man Steve, and with your abilities…” Peggy trailed off, not wanting to give away just how much she knew about Project Rebirth.

“You really think I can make a difference?” he asked, voice quiet and shy and so vulnerable that Peggy had a strong urge to wrap him in her arms.

She settled for resting her hand on top of his.

“I know you can. Call it faith,” she told him sincerely.

They held hands all the way back to her hotel room.

…

What Peggy found particularly endearing about Steve - but would never dare say it out loud - was how, no matter how many times they’d all change in front of him (as there was normally only one dressing room wherever they went), he was still ever the gentleman.

Steve would always help with patching up their costumes, zipping them up, and sometimes even applying make up, but he never stared or lingered.

On this particular night, a few weeks after they held hands during their walk (a detail that hadn’t happened on their nightly strolls again), Peggy was running late and was the last one in the dressing room. She was in the middle of pulling up her left stocking and clipping it in place - leg perched on the dressing table in front of her when someone walked in.

"Oh I - sorry, sorry,” Steve apologized profusely.

Peggy looked up just in time to see his wide-eyed expression and his cheeks turn pink. From the look on his face, one would assume he’d walked in on her half-naked, rather than fully dressed with only one stocking left to be fixed into places.

"Lose something, Captain?" she asked, quirking her eyebrow up in amusement.

"No," he said quickly, averting his gaze to look at the ceiling. "I mean, yes. I can't find the um, my head - my cowl, I mean."

Peggy took pity on him and lowered her leg.

“I’ll help you find it. Curtain’s in five minutes, after all.”

“Thanks, Betty,” he said, letting out a small breath of relief.

She smirked and took a few steps closer to him.

"You mustn't worry, though, Captain. I don't have any devious plans to ruin your pristine reputation," she teased.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he murmured, clearly without thinking.

Peggy's eyes widened slightly. Other than the night they’d held hands (which Peggy had to keep reminding herself was only a comfort between friends) this is the first time he’d actually done anything close to what could be considered flirting.

She tried to ignore how much she liked it.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she told him, her voice slightly breathless.

Steve’s eyes flicked down for her lips, and he began to lean in.

Or was it her that was leaning in?

Either way, their lips were now less than an inch away from each other and-

“Two minutes to curtain!”

They startled apart, and Steve cleared his throat.

“We should get-”

“Yes,” she agreed dashing out of the dressing room and toward the wings.

She fumbled to get her last clip in place with how much her hands were shaking.

Peggy leaned against the closest wall and tried to control her breathing and hammering heart.

What the hell was that?

...

Something was wrong.

To be fair, Peggy didn’t have any reason to believe that there was any threat near. She’d taken all her normal precautions before the show, and hadn’t made any threats close to them.

But there were goosebumps on her arms, and Peggy knew better than to ignore her instincts.

“Don’t lift the motorcycle,” she whispered into Steve’s ear as she danced by him.

Though her voice was quiet, she knew his enhanced hearing could pick it up.

While she didn’t know what the threat was, his final pose left him far too vulnerable for her liking, and if he went down, so would Sybil, Beth, and Gwen.

Steve gave her a confused look.

His head then snapped to look at the audience. Peggy followed his gaze and noticed the man who had just stood up in the middle of the song.

He began to raise his hand, and Peggy launched into action.

She broke formation and tackled Steve out of the way. She felt two bullets lodge in the back of her right shoulder and she let out a small cry of pain.

Chaos broke out among the crowd and onstage as everyone screamed and began to disperse.

Peggy used her left hand to pull her carefully concealed gun out of its holster and aimed it toward the group of men now charging toward Steve.

“What the hell is going on, Betty?” he asked as he saw the blood coming out of her shoulder.

“Hydra,” she told him, hissing in pain as he scooped her up and began carrying her toward safety.

“How do you know about Hydra?”

“My name is Peggy Carter,” she explained, returning to her natural dialect. “I’m with the Strategic Scientific Reserve. I was sent to protect you.”

“What?” he asked tightly, his eyes rife with hurt and betrayal.

The pain in her shoulder was now rivalled by the ache she felt in her heart.

“Steve, I-”

The sound of a gunshot behind them brought Peggy back to reality.

“Look,” she told Steve. “I know this is confusing and you’re unhappy with me right now, but we need to get out of here.”

“I can’t just leave everyone else,” he said defiantly his eyes flicking around the half-empty auditorium as everyone scrambled to get out of harm’s way.

“They’re after you. The best chance we can give them is by leading you away from here,” she reasoned, growing increasingly frustrated with him.

“Fine,” he agreed. “But you owe me an explanation.”

“If we live, I’ll tell you anything you like,” she agreed.

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[maxdark158]

Chapter 4!! WOOT! Check out the OG creator, @ozmav as the first day in her Damian Wayne fic is still canon in mine so far

tw for panic attacks

Characters are probably OOC because MLB is a kids show

Ps: I AM doing a partner fic to this from Damian’s POV and I AM doing a sequel to both of these, stay tuned

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

Enjoy!

oooOOOooo

Her hotel room was bland. There’s a creepy painting of two children in a bucket on the wall. The bed was stiff and the sheets are scratchy.

Marinette wasn’t sure when she got to her hotel room. She couldn’t remember walking in. She didn’t know what time it was or how long she stood outside in the first place. She was a puppet on strings. She didn’t know who was pulling them.

Distantly, she heard someone talking. She knew it had to be Tikki, nobody else was in her hotel room, but she didn’t have the energy to answer or to even fully listen.

Damian Wayne was Robin.

Of all things, she recognized his voice. He almost called her Angel during The Riddler incident too. She didn’t know why it clicked then, perhaps the similar wording?

It was easy to deduce the identities of Gotham’s other heroes after that.

Tim was obviously Red Robin. He complimented her ability to solve The Riddler’s riddles when he rescued her and was questioning her IQ as Tim after that. Jason clearly went easy on her during their spar, because Red Hood had many more skills than he showed then – not that Marinette cared about the spar now. Or anything else really.

Nightwing must be the brother she didn’t officially meet, though she did see him on her first day here at Wayne Enterprises. And Bruce Wayne was Batman. Marinette hadn’t met all the Gotham heroes or all the Waynes, but what she knew matched up.

She ignored the sheets, the bed, the painting, and the room for a moment. “Tikki,” her voice was hoarse – how long had it been since the goodbye? – “How did I figure out Damian was Robin when it took me so long to figure out Adrien was Chat?”

“I’m sorry Marinette,” Tikki’s voice sounded far away, muffled. “The magic of the miraculous must have tampered with your reasoning for Adrien. I assume that since you know it’s him now, there was no use of it anymore. You likely would have known Adrien was Chat from the beginning if it was never there.”

Tikki might have said something else, but she didn’t know. The ringing in her ears was louder than her kwami. The hotel room seemed to fade away, and she was trapped in the hollow darkness.

Marinette was a horrible person and friend.

Dread was ice water coursing through her body. It was freezing, she wasn’t sure if she had any real blood anymore.

It was her fault. It was her fault that she knew Damian was Robin, she has no right to know that he’s Robin when he’s clearly keeping it secret to protect himself and his family. Marinette didn’t deserve to know.

Guilt was the crushing weight chaining her to the ground. It got heavier and heavier. She struggled to stay upright.

Why did she have to be such a screw-up? She and Damian even discussed this, they talked about how friends didn’t have to tell each other everything. Marinette didn’t deserve to be his friend.

Sadness was mint in her mouth and wetness on her cheek. The wetness was real though, surrounding her and drowning her. She struggled in it, her movements sluggish under the pressure.

She betrayed his trust. She found out something he wasn’t comfortable with her knowing. Marinette was worse than Alya.

Her throat felt tight.

Marinette should have never tried to have friends again, not when she always screwed up. Damian didn’t deserve to have someone as awful as her as a friend.

Her lungs ached.

Damian deserved better.

She couldn’t breathe.

She wasn’t breathing.

Distantly, Marinette thought that she didn’t deserve to.

“Marinette, please calm down please,” the voice sounded desperate. “Marinette you’re having a panic attack and you aren’t breathing, please-”

She gasped for air as if she had been drowning. Her breaths were heavy, her body desperate to gain back the oxygen she deprived it of. Marinette tried to calm herself, she needed to stop herself from dissociating, from spiraling.

Deep breath.

She needed to focus.

Deep breath.

The sheets are scratchy. The fabric was clearly cheap, she often saved her allowance to try and afford better supplies when she designed.

Deep breath.

The bed was stiff. Marinette wished it had more pillows like hers at home. She wished it was soft, more relaxing. It was hard sleeping on it, but it was hard sleeping anyway.

Deep breath.

She could see the creepy painting of two children in a bucket on the wall. It was black and white except for the blue color of their shirts. Their eyes were wide in surprise or fear she didn’t know.

Deep breath.

Her hotel room is bland. The off-white color of the walls matched the off-white carpet and the off-white sheets. The furniture was also all white. It was a little bright, but it needed more color. More design to it.

Deep breath.

“Marinette?” Tikki asked.

Deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry I-”

Tikki shook her head. “Are you alright?”

Marinette shook her head. She hadn’t had an attack that bad in years. Not since-

The memories came hurtling back, and she gripped the sheets as if they could save her. She didn’t want to remember don’t make her remember please don’t please-

Deep breath.

She was disassociating again. She needed to find a way to stay present.

“Why don’t you try designing?” Tikki’s voice was far away again, but Marinette clung to it like a lifeline.

She might have nodded. She didn’t remember. She didn’t remember moving. But suddenly she was sitting at the white desk with her travel sewing machine and her sketchbook. She had the fabric she bought here before The Riddler incident. She and Damian dropped it off before going for ice cream.

Deep Breath.

Her sketchbook was open but her brain wouldn’t let her process what was on the page. It was colored though, red and black. She bought red and black fabric for her ladybug inspired jacket, but she had no problem using it now.

She wanted out of her own head. Designing, making clothes, those things grounded her.

Tikki was telling a story in the background, of what Marinette didn’t know. She couldn’t pay attention right now, she wasn’t even fully aware of what she was making.

But it was calming her. She was able to focus on her movements instead of her thoughts, go through the motions of something she loved.

Lila had taken many things from her, but she never did take her joy for designing.

The measurements she was following were on the page. She wasn’t conscious of what they actually were. But she measured, she cut, and she sewed.

She could feel the fabric under her fingers, the coolness of her sewing machine. Her vision was blurred and her cheeks were wet.

Measure, cut, sew.

She needed to make it up to Damian somehow. Should she reveal herself to him – a quid pro quo?

Measure, cut, sew.

No. She didn’t know how many villain fights or what type Robin got in but if he accidentally told anyone she would be in danger. Whether another villain made a deal with Hawkmoth or somehow got akumatized – her identity was secret for a reason.

Measure, cut, sew.

She had to protect her family first and foremost. But Damian… she ruined her friendship with him. She made a huge, unfixable mistake and there’s no way he would ever want to be around her anymore once he knew.

Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew.

That’s to say… If he knew…

Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew.

But Marinette couldn’t do that! That would be even more of a betrayal of trust to keep a secret about him from him, and she personally would like to know if she compromised her identity…

Sew. Sew. Sew. Sew.

If Hawkmoth wasn’t a threat anymore, she would tell him. He clearly knew how to keep a secret, though her figuring it out wasn’t exactly a good moment.

Sew. Sew. Sew.

And she did have that plan for getting rid of Hawkmoth, the one she got from the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum. She became inspired by Damian and his family to track the akuma and find Hawkmoth.

Sew. Sew.

Fight him face to face. End the terrorism and suffering once and for all.

Stitch.

Marinette blinked through her tears. It seemed they finally stopped. Her half-baked plans paused, and she looked at what she created.

A hand immediately flew to her mouth to stifle the new wave of sobs rising in her throat. A fresh wave of tears fell, spilling onto the fabric in her other hand.

She made the Robin hoodie.

She made the Robin hoodie that she designed.

It was red, though the bottom hem of it was yellow. The sleeves were black and the torso part of the hoodie was red. The string to the hoodie was also red, but it has thick yellow stripes, like the yellow marks down the middle of Robin’s suit.

The cuffs of the sleeve were green and had little cloth triangles on them. The triangles were smaller than the ones Robin had on his gloves, but the cardboard in them helped them stick out as they did on the hero's costume.

The hood, like the sleeves, was black, but the inside was yellow, much like Robin’s cape. Robin’s label was on the shoulder, black and yellow.

Marinette glanced at the sketchbook page that she was going off of. It sprinkled in wet marks – likely her own tears – but the measurements she remembered writing.

She remembered writing them when she and Damian got lunch before ice cream.

She remembered trying to estimate his measurements without asking for them.

She remembered adding a few centimeters just in case…

She made Damian a Robin hoodie. She made Damian a hoodie of himself.

She glanced back at the hoodie, recognizing the yellow and green fabric. It was from the old sweater that she brought in case she got cold at night… she didn’t even remember getting it out…

Of course she made this of course her subconscious is aware of how awful she is. She’s despicable and doesn’t deserve Damian-

“Marinette?” Tikki’s voice was quiet. Tired.

“I’m okay,” she said, mentally digging her heels into the present moment. She could not dissociate again. She could not spiral again.

Deep breath.

Marinette carefully hung up the hoodie she made in the small hotel room closet. She threw away the sweater and saved whatever scraps of fabric left behind – maybe she could make a hat.

“I’m sorry Tikki,” her voice was wobbly and hoarse. “I’m so sorry I-”

“Marinette,” Tikki flew to her, face full of pity – no, understanding. Sympathy. “It’s not your fault.”

“But-” it was! She found out his identity she ruined their friendship and anything else they could have had and it was all her fault-

“Panicking and anxiety is normal,” Tikki told her. “You don’t have to apologize for your emotions.”

Marinette nodded. What Tikki said made sense. She needed to compartmentalize her emotions for the moment and get herself together.

She couldn’t make this up to Damian, and she didn’t deserve to. It’s her fault and he shouldn’t be around someone as awful as her.

It would hurt her more than him, but she needs to save him. She’s too much like her classmates, like Alya and Lila, to continue as his friend. She didn’t want to hurt him.

The room was stifling. She wanted out. She couldn’t leave the hotel though, that would be too dangerous – and she might run into Dami- Robin.

“I’m going to go downstairs,” Marinette mumbled to Tikki. “See if I can get anything out of the vending machines. You stay here, I don’t want to accidentally talk to you around others.”

Tikki nodded, clearly not happy about it but understanding. “You wouldn’t want to wake anyone up.”

“What?” Marinette turned to the clock on the desk and-

Four A.M. She lost eleven hours to an attack.

Deep Breath.

Marinette squared her shoulders. She would go downstairs to get a snack, come back up and try to fall asleep. With any luck, she would miss the class’s trip to GothCorp tomorrow if she turned off her alarm…

She moved like a zombie in the halls. Her room key was in her Tikki-less purse with some stale cookies. She had her slippers on. She hadn’t changed completely into her pajamas, as she still wore her white crop top, but her pajama bottoms were on instead of the overalls. She didn’t have her phone.

Marinette arrived at the lobby and walked to the vending machine area. In her hand was a few US dollars with the green and the old men’s faces. She figured she could maybe afford one of the candy bars here. Damian mentioned liking things with dark chocolate – despite not liking the, “too sweet,” chocolate ice cream at the parlor. He was going to get the salted caramel until-

She paused, mentally reining herself in. If she thinks about Damian, she’ll spiral again. She needs to get the candy bar and head back to her room.

That’s it.

Marinette began to walk again. The lights were on behind the desk, and the vending machines had light. Other than that, the rest of the lights were off. She didn’t really mind though, simply going over to the machines.

Her ears picked up on someone moving around in the dark, near the couches in the lobby. She turned, immediately getting into a fighting stance when-

“Have you been crying?” A sickly-sweet voice said, and Marinette knew immediately who it was. The girl walked toward her, stopping a few feet from Marinette so she was visible in the light. She turned away from Lila and back to the vending machine, ignoring the footsteps behind her.

When Marinette didn’t answer Lila took it as a sign to continue.

“You know, when you passed here earlier you seemed really out of it,” Marinette straightened out her dollar bill.

“I was waiting down here to comfort you, thinking you would return, but I fell asleep on the couch.” She didn’t know how much of that was true. She put the bill into the vending machine.

“I just wanted to see if you were-”

“You can stop lying,” Marinette’s voice was still wobbly from crying, but she didn’t care. “I haven’t bought any of your crap yet, no need to continue selling it to me.”

There was a moment of silence. More footsteps, but they sounded further away.

“Fine then, Dupain-Cheng,” Lila growled. “I wanted to warn you.” Marinette tried and failed to refrain from rolling her eyes as Lila talked.

“You think that when you leave this school, when you graduate early, I’ll be gone?” What button should she press?

“Your useless sheep classmates will always be wrapped around my fingers, coming to my every beck and call.” The label next to the dark chocolate Hershey’s bar said B2. She pressed B then 2.

She heard more footsteps. They sounded closer. Lila was probably trying to intimidate her.

“You’ve even lost Adrien,” Lila sounded haughty about that, but the words relieved Marinette. “You are nothing, Dupain-Cheng.” The Hershey’s bar fell to the bottom of the vending machine.

“Are you done?” she asked, leaning down to get her prize. “I couldn’t care less about any of what you just said. Might as well talk about Physics if you want me to pay attention more.”

She looked over to Lila-

Wait.

Lila stood in the same spot as she was before, looking flabbergasted that Marinette didn’t care about her power trip tirade.

She hadn’t moved.

More footsteps, even closer than before. Not as close as Lila was.

Marinette grabbed her chocolate bar and stood up slowly. If someone else was here…

“What do you mean you couldn’t care less?” Lila suddenly shrieked.

“Lila, calm down,” Marinette saw shoes appear at the very edge of where the light from the vending machines reached. Shoes and the hems of purple pants.

“You think that if you just brush me off, pretend you don’t care, that I’ll go away,” Lila hissed. “I am your worst nightmare, Dupain-Cheng. You will never escape me!”

“Lila-”

“No! You will listen to me!”

She heard movement. They were moving. Without thinking she reached over and grabbed Lila’s arm and yanked her behind where Marinette stood.

A spray of liquid erupted from the shadow, hitting where Lila was once standing.

“Why so serious, little girl?” there was a giggle, and Marinette suddenly deeply regretted leaving her phone upstairs.

“Call the police,” she mumbled. She heard Lila desperately searching through her pockets.

If this is who she thinks it is… Ice water ran through her body instead of blood, but the buildup of dread kept her shivers at bay.

“Looking for this?” A gloved hand displayed Lila’s phone in its orange case.

Marinette held Lila back just in case. “Please!” the lair called desperately. “S-several people have me as their emergency contact, Clara Nightingale, Damian Wayne, Jag-”

The hand threw the phone to the ground and the shoe stomped on it.

“I wish your little friend didn’t pull you out of the way,” the voice dawdled. “It would have been fun to see you with a smile on your face.”

The feet stepped forward.

Purple pants.

Purple suit.

Green undershirt.

Purple tie.

White plastic flower.

White face.

Green hair.

Crazed eyes.

The Joker stared at them, smile just a bit too wide. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“When I heard you beat The Riddler at his own game,” Joker’s tone was full of amusement, but Marinette didn’t feel like laughing. “I decided I just had to see what you were made of myself.”

He tilted up his flower. “Get ready to smile!”

[vipers-hat]

More nonsense but in that last Mandalorian recap I realized I gave the barely-a-fic I’ve been doing a plot hole, and even if three of y’all care I fixed it bc my writing brain is finally, finally working again. Behold, the worst summary: 

Refusal of the Call

In which Din has a request, and Raza and Cobb share a brain cell with different degrees of success in its usage. 

Din stared across the table at Raza and Cobb, trying to figure out just how to present the thing he had been hesitating to ask the last few hours. Din had bitten the bullet and  returned to Mos Pelgo after the speeder debacle so the speeder could get repaired and he could get some rest so he wasn’t caught as unawares again. But now he was about to depart so he intended to ask at the last minute so there could be less damage. For all involved.  It has been nice enough, he could admit, but the sight in front of him made him think back on the last thought he had about the dynamic, and well, now that everything had calmed down and he could make clear connections, well, there was something obvious staring him in the face. He turned his attention to Raza. “I need you to do me a favor.”

Her smile was immediate, kind. “Sure. What do you have in mind?” 

“I need you to take the kid.” 

She beamed. “You  got it,” she looked at The Child. “How about that, Little One? You stay here with Aunt Raz and Uncle Cobb when your daddy goes off to do something dangerous?” she looked at Din. “For how long? Couple of days?”

“As long as you can take him. Life, if you can.”

Her response was immediate. Her smile dropped instantaneously: “No!” 

It was matched perfectly with Cobb’s incredulous “What?!” and even the Child made a squeak that sounded stunned and offended. 

Din sighed. “He’s… somehow a Jedi. He needs to be with his people-“

“Mando, I’m not his people. I’ve only known one of his kind and -“

Din started to stand at the comment, completely forgetting the Child was in his lap for the moment. He scrambled to catch the Child, only to find that Cobb had already lunged for him, gotten a hold of him and had set him in his own lap instead. That was another reason he was certain he was making the right choice. The kid would be raised loved and protected if he did this. It was much better than his current situation. Though the fact that Cobb leaned over The Child what looked like protectively against him and was giving him a warning look didn’t quite sit well in his gut. Even The Child looked distressed, which made it much worse. Maybe he’d wait to see about the species mate. Maybe that would work better than a Jedi.  “You’ve seen his kind before?” 

Her response was guarded. “A long time ago, when my father brought me to an old Jedi for a game of catch up- and to see if I could train.”

“Where is he now?”

“Was. Was in Dagobah. But he’s long gone, I’m afraid. Died… must have been ten years back now. My friend Luke might know more. He’s one of us, too. I can ask if you’d like but with my skill, well, lack thereof. it might take a while.” 

Din sighed again. So close and so far. He thought that would be it, he would be home free, the kid could be safe with his people who would understand him, keep him on the right path. It was finally getting to him just how many plans had gone wrong. At least this one didn’t end up in mayhem or bloodshed. “No, that’s…” what could he even say. “He needs to be with you, your mother- Jedi. Decent Jedi. And I don’t mean in skill.”

“We’re barely Jedi, we don’t count.”

“You’ve got decent covered, though. You’re all I have. And some understanding is better than none.” 

“And you’re all he’s got. He’s your son.”

“He’s not.” His heart broke at the honest to god distressed sound the Child made. “He just… needs people who are better for him.”

“You’re the best for him. You can have him get trained in the Force without severing any sort of relationships. It worked for me... more or less.”  

“I took him with me to fight the Krayt Dragon,” Din objected. 

Cobb finally spoke up. “And he loved every second, if I heard right.” 

Din turned his attention to Cobb and tried to convey annoyance through the helmet. 

It worked, judging by how Cobb tossed his hands up in the air. “What? He did! He only got scared the one time. That’s saying something.” 

“Yes, it’s saying he’s getting used to danger. That’s a problem,” Din looked back at Raza. 

“No,” she repeated, firmer than the last time. 

“Cobb wants children,” Din blurted. If the other man was going to throw him under the bus, he’d do it right back. “Told me last night when he had a couple of drinks in him. You can get your wish if you take the kid.” 

Cobb gaped at him, then looked at Raza frantically. “Now hold on a sec-” 

Raza put a hand out to silence him. “And that’s our call when the time comes, not yours trying to pawn off the kid.” 

The Child cooed at that, sounding hurt, and Din’s heart broke again. It’s for him. It’s for his safety. “I just want what’s best for him.” 

“You’re what’s best for him,” Raza replied. 

“Doubtful,” 

“So the next best thing is dumping him off with strangers?” Cobb cut in. 

“We’re not strangers.”

“Funny, you told me the opposite two days ago,” Cobb deadpanned. He sounded… off. 

“I just… trust you both with his safety… and knowing what to do with those powers of his.” 

Cobb scoffed with enough venom in his tone that it alarmed the other two. “You’re asking us to sit by and let you abandon your son, Mando,” Cobb finally cut in. His voice sounded dangerous. “It happened to me, my parents dropped me here right after having, and I I’ll be damned if I sit by and let that happen to this little guy that I’m already fond of.”

Din’s stomach twisted all over again. So that was why he had been so quiet, why he was holding the Child so tightly during that conversation.

Cobb continued. “If we’re not strangers after all, you won’t ask that of us. So don’t you dare. Ever. And honestly I’m pretty damn disappointed in you that you made it this far.” 

Well now this was bound to end like all others had. So mayhem, then. He opened his mouth, then shut it. “I’m not trying to pawn him off, I-” 

“Sure sounds like it.” 

“I’m sorry, I just-” 

“Take. Your. Damn. Kid,” Cobb replied. He passed the Child over to him, the Child himself whining at the sudden shift in energy. 

To her credit, Raza did too. She gave the Child’s head a reassuring rub, then looked at Din. “Look, we get it. We do. And we know you care about the kid. And that’s another reason why we can’t do that to you. Or the little one.” She went to pull her hand from the Child, but the Child reached up in order to keep her hand there. She sighed, then passed her hand over his head lightly. “You two will be fine, you can make it through this. You’ll help him find his way. It’s just not here without you.” 

Cobb’s eyes flicked to his, not at all losing any of the annoyance he had built up. 

Din sighed. Those two were tough, but they made fair points. There was no sense in arguing. There was no way Raza and her mother were the last two around. She had mentioned Luke. Luke Skywalker, he supposed. That was a start. “I suppose you’re right. We’ll be fine. We’ll make it through. Won’t we, Kid?” He hoped it sounded convincing. He opened his arms. “Come on Kid, we have to go.”

“Wh-“ Raza’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re leaving from here? You were actually going to dump him and run?”

“Would’ve been easier on the both of us,” Din admitted quietly. He only took small comfort in how Raza’s face shifted from growing anger to sympathy. At least he had that. Cobb was still glaring at him. He opened his arms. “Come on, kid. We have to be back to the Crest by nightfall.”

The Child pouted for a moment, mourning the soon to be loss of the pets, but got up on the table, waddled over and let Din put him back in his sling. 

“We’ll walk you out, make sure you don’t dump him on one of our doorsteps,” Cobb commented  drily, rising to walk with him all the same. Raza joined them, and they all gathered by the speeder, just like they had the last time. 

“I won’t. You’ve got nothing to worry about, message received, loud and clear. He stays with me,” Din assured them. He took the Child’s carrier out and set it on the floor of the speeder. Then, carefully, eager to out some physical and emotional distance between them: “Thank you for the hospitality. We’ll meet again.” He got into it and fired up the engine, and without another word, pushed off and started making his way through the town. 

The Child popped his head out of the bag and waved goodbye to the other two, and they waved back half heartedly. 

After Din was out of sight, Cobb sighed heavily. “Kriff…” Another pause. “That reminds me, we gotta go to Mos Eisley this weekend. Ma invited us for dinner. She asked me to ask you to bring the stuff to make that roasted nuna you made the last time.” 

“Okay. You do know that he’s gonna kill you when he finds out that you lied, don’t you?” 

“Oh, absolutely. But you were floundering, I jumped in to assist. But I just lied to the guy. You mind tricked him. He’s gonna be more mad about that, I’m sure.”

“The kid’s not vocal. He’s not gonna know about the Jedi mind trick for a while. He’s gonna figure out the lie way sooner.”

“He’s gonna have to catch me, first,” Cobb countered. Then, carefully: “you think he and the kid will actually be okay? He ain’t gonna do something stupid?”

“See, that’s the good thing about my mind tricks. Most of the time they only work if there’s already some semblance of what I tell them in their heads already,” Raza answered. “They will be fine. He doesn’t want to leave the kid as much as he pretends he does.” She looked back at the speeder, already just a dot on the horizon. “He needs the kid more than he thinks the kid needs him. Part of him knows that, too.” 

“That is… actually assuring. Feel like an ass for doubting him, though.” 

“You’re in good company there.”

—-

A few months later, Cobb had been repairing part of his roof when he heard a few passersby talking excitedly about how ‘he’ was back. He was vaguely concerned for a moment until he looked over the side of the roof to see a familiar green and brown lump make its way to his doorway. “Kid…?” There was silence, an excited squeak, followed by Raza going “Little One!” inside. Ah. That “he.” No cause for concern then. Especially if he still had the kid. He hopped down from the roof, intent on finding the surrogate father, only to come just about face to face with him just outside the entryway.  “Hey, our favorite Mandalorian returns. Good to see you. What brings you here?” 

Din hummed. “Had some trouble in Mos Eisley before this.”

“Oh?” Cobb grinned. 

“Trouble with a job. Had to stay the night,” he slowly turned towards him. “Met a nice old couple who put me up for the night. Eric and  Noma.” Cobb stopped smiling. “Vanth. Who are very much looking forward to their son Cobb’s wedding in a couple of months. Noma’s been dreaming about it since they took him home from the Medical Pavilion.”

Cobb flinched, feeling the annoyance seeping from the man. He wondered if he should just start running now.  “... Can I get a head start, at least?” 

Din’s response was punching him in the gut, but he could tell he pulled it, so even as he doubled over, he tried not to laugh after the pain receded. “Okay, so it was a lie, a bit of a mean one. But hey, you’ve still got the kid, so we were right. He is yours.”

“That’s why you’re not dead,” Din answered. “Is Raza inside? I’ve got a question about… Jedi mind altering.”

Shit. “You gonna hit her for pulling that, too?”

“... … What?”

Cobb frowned, then looked at the kid, suddenly putting together that he had done something with it. Go figure. She had said the thought had to be there. “Nothing. Right this way. Help me up the step, I can’t move anything below my chest thanks to you.” 

“Fine.”

[sakura-blossom28]

Heartbroken

Literally just got dumped yesterday and thought writing fan fic about it would be a smarter idea then downloading a dating app again.

Sorry if everyone seems out of character, just trying to get all my feelings out.

Thinking about making this a longer story - will probably be more in character in the next chapter since I plan to jump ahead a few months

Don’t own Naruto

The morning was quiet. No good morning text stringed with hearts, kisses and smiles.  Silence is what greeted Sakura the first morning after the breakup with the man who she thought she would spend her life with. She couldn’t blame him honestly, deep down she had her suspicions, but she hoped beyond hope that something in her life could finally go right. 

They had met up the night before to talk, but it was mostly him struggling around words and emotions with Sakura quietly crying. Her whole speech of promised change and just a bit more time flew out the window when he said the words, but I just don’t feel the same. 

They had barely made it to 6 months in their relationship, and Sakura knew subconsciously that, Sasuke, she could hardly think of his name without a twinge going off in her heart, that he did not love her like she loved him.  Hopeless wishing she told herself. Life had not been kind to Sakura as she struggled through her last semester of college due to a random doubt of sickness that caused her to miss most of her finals and an extended stay in the hospital. Since that time she hadn’t felt like herself, constantly making excuses of pushing off applying to medical school.  

After putting on her scrubs and looking in a mirror deeming that her flat pink hair couldn’t be helped, she left for work as a medical scribe at a local surgery center.  She did not fail to notice the puffiness to her eyes and the dull look to her normally sparkly green eyes.  

Sakura had been crying all day because she knew the inevitable was coming.  How could one small text message of we need to talk, cause so much stress to one person? Her poor mother was shocked awake on her day off to wails coming from her only daughter’s room.  If her mother hadn’t known any better she would have said Sakura had broken a bone from the way she was screaming. From that moment on Sakura had the feeling of queasiness that just didn’t seem to pass.  Even as she arrived at her job to open up her boss’ office, the feeling was still there.  

The only silver lining in this whole situation was that she wasn’t left with nothing like she thought she would be.  Sakura had this unlucky skill to not only fall hard for whoever she was dating, but also make friends with his friends too.  Naruto, Hinata, and Sai had all become important people to Sakura since she started seeing Sasuke. Naruto was the one who drunkenly told Sasuke he needed to man up and tell Sakura how he really felt about her. 

They all had been blindsided when Sakura sent them a small message that she and Sasuke had broken up.  She truly thought she was losing everything, but these people took her by surprise. Even though Naruto and Sasuke are in a band together, Naruto agreed with his girlfriend Hinata that it didn’t matter, they would be there for both of them.  Hinata stayed up all night talking to Sakura to make sure she was okay.  

Sakura smiled to herself thinking of how boastful Hinata was when she told her her worries of no longer being friends.  She knew they were being honest and would actually try to stay friends. This small fact was the only thing keeping Sakura from falling apart.  Her long time best friend Ino had moved to the city and they had been out of contact for so long, Ino knew the bare minimum about Sasuke. Thanks to Hinata the pain became a dull ache so that she could pass for a functioning human.

 Work was good. Work was order and somewhere to focus all her energy.  Sakura was very lucky to work under a very successful surgeon Tsunade Senju.  Working as a medical scribe was a great choice and a random one. After graduating with a degree in biology that took a toll on Sakura, she never imagined landing a job that would completely change what she wanted to do with her life.  She didn’t think she had what it takes to be a doctor, but Tsunade had different ideas. 

Being in a small office with surgery only a few days a week was perfect for Sakura. She could keep her head down and get through Tsunade’s notes and help the office manager Shinuze with anything she needed. Talking to the patients who were going into surgery was always a good distraction for Sakura, getting caught up in their life story, and making them feel comfortable before Tsunade came in and dealt the blow of surgery.  

Sakura’s way with the patients is what convinced Tsunade that Sakura should go into orthopedic surgery just like her.  It wasn’t every day you could get first rate experience like this, she would boast to her young student. Sakura was happy in this field and hadn’t started any applications for extended education yet, so why not? 

Sasuke was always supportive in any goal she told him about.  Looking back, maybe all the times he agreed to her ideas was just because he was drowning her out and she believed she was happy. Last night Sakura saw all the pain that was in his eyes, telling her he didn’t love her.  That’s what hurt the most, knowing that once again she wasn’t good enough to be loved back. And Sasuke was a good person, perfect in Sakura’s mind, everything she dreamed about and more; kind, sweet, calm, funny, and even in a band! Everyone always said how perfect they were together.  But she could even look back and see a change in him. Like a light switch went off in his brain, he knew he’d never love her. That was months ago.  

Everyday Sakura could remember crying over him because his tone or attitude was different. He would shut her out so easily, and he only apologized when he realized she cried. It was like that for months.  This cycle would just make her so sick and she didn’t even realize it.  

After starting her work day and not constantly checking her phone for once, Sakura felt okay.  The feeling of pain she had was slowly decreasing because her mind wasn’t filled with Sasuke. It was the feeling of relief, she wasn’t stressed anymore because of how unhappy she actually was.  Plus the knowledge that she still has her friends is more comforting than she thought. 

One day she hopes that she and Sasuke can be friends again. He still has this pull on her, but she knows he needs more time than she will.  He was adamant about keeping their distance for a while. Sakura could understand that. Things wouldn’t be the same, but she still wanted to be around him, as a friend.  Even though she still has strong feelings for him, Sakura thinks they can turn into something for a friend since she still cares for him. 

Sakura was alone.  No boyfriend. But she was still walking away with friends. That counts. She’s not alone. Maybe it’s time to be her own person, not stand behind someone else for once. She’s Sakura, that’s it. She doesn’t belong to anyone else but herself. As the day was coming to a close, she felt good. Almost strong. Dare she say confident? 

Now was the time to focus on herself.  If she was honest with herself she wasn’t happy with the person she was. Sakura knew she was better than the effort she was putting out. Her whole life was practically in front of her! Positive thinking was key in this moment of realization.  It was finally time to put herself first before anyone else. Keeping busy and trying new things would be the first step in creating her true self.  

Maybe time with friends and finding new hobbies would help? What’s something she’s always wanted to do? She liked this feeling of being strong, but wanted it to be better.  Maybe hitting the gym, not super desirable, but hey it was something to do after work so she wouldn’t sit alone in her room. Maybe Hinata would join her… 

Walking back to her car, Sakura had a real smile on her face for the first time in days.  The days won’t be easy, but she could handle it. Being heartbroken is the worst feeling in the world, but if she could love herself first, maybe the thought of getting back out there wouldn’t be so scary. 

Part 2