#i wish i had something witty for this but all i have is 'send post'

[nina-ya]

NINAAAAAAAA!!! MAY I REQUEST: " i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile" FROM THIS PROMPT LIST PLS WITH LAW OR POST TIMESKIP ZORO (istg he stopped smiling as widely as he did b4)

A/N: HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO YOU MY LOVE I do hope it's a great one I love you dearly!! Pairing: Law x Reader CW: None, fluff WC: ~800

It was during these quiet moments that you often found yourself drawn to Law. You found yourself leaning against the railing, your eyes following the sun’s descent as it slowly gets swallowed by the ocean while painting the sky in hues of fiery oranges and yellows. Law stood beside you, leaning against the railings of the Polar Tang, the breeze subtly ruffling the tufts of raven hair that poked out from beneath his spotted hat.

Law wasn’t always so serious. A playful glint in his eyes often revealed itself when he was being particularly mischievous. He wore that smirk more often than not, his humor sharp and always ready with a quick and witty counter during moments of chaos- whether that be in battle or in more lively moments on the submarine. But a soft, genuine smile, the kind born from hours of shared laughter or the quiet contentment of being in the presence of someone that you love, those were the smiles that you rarely saw. The ones that you wish to see more of and the ones you were determined to pull out of him.

You turned to him, drawn to the way his amber eyes fixed on the horizon. His lips flushed and slightly chapped from the sea breeze, were set in a contemplative thin line, hinting at the thoughts that ran through that mind of his.

“A penny for your thoughts?” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence, your voice carrying a subtle playfulness as you turned your body towards him.

Law glanced at you, that usual smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he replied in a teasing tone, “That’s all they’re worth?” 

You raised an eyebrow, a playful challenge underlying your features. You brushed off his last comment and jumped right to the point. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile. Like really smile. Not just those little smirks you give when you’re being cheeky.”

His gaze shifted, easing into something more introspective. It was almost as if he was carefully considering your words. The longer he stood there in thought, the more his facade cracked, and you could see something beneath all of that outer shell.

“Maybe I just need the right motivation,” he murmured, amusement laced in his tone as he shifted, turning to face you more fully.

You decided to take matters into your own hands and you reached out and gently poked the side of his torso, testing the waters. At first, his brows furrowed in confusion as he merely shot you a skeptical look, but as your fingers continued and danced along his torso, his lips twitched, and he let out a few huffs of laughter despite himself. 

“Stop that,” Law protested, taking a step backward to escape your assault, yet you stepped right forward and continued, each poke sending ripples of laughter through him until he finally broke, the sound of his snickering filling the air.

You grinned in triumph, your laughter filling the air alongside his. It wasn’t long before Law had to physically restrain you, capturing your wrists in his larger, inked hands to halt your tickling. As you looked up at him, it occurred to you how unusual it was that he had resorted to physically holding you back rather than using his devil fruit abilities. Law had the power to simply teleport either of you away from the other, to escape the situation with the twist of his fingers and the incantation of the word “shambles”. Yet, here he was, gripping your wrists and laughing, his touch unexpectedly tender. It was an odd choice that hinted at something more than what’s on the surface—perhaps a desire to remain connected to you, to experience this moment fully with you rather than having it slip away. The two of you paused, breathless and heaving, the proximity leaving you two staring into each other’s eyes, smiles born from laughter lingering on your faces. 

“There it is,” you said softly, breaking the silence. The satisfaction of seeing him smile with such a rare and genuine expression was something unlike any other and you attempted to commit the sight to memory, afraid that it would be lost just as soon as it appeared.

Law’s grip on your wrists relaxed, and he chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “You something else,” he said, the tone of voice and his words making it seem like the words were more of an admittance of something he had felt for a while but couldn’t quite articulate properly. 

Whatever it was, whatever unspoken words remained, it created layers upon layers of complexity that you wish to peel one by one as the days passed. For now, the tension was masked by the warmth of your smiles, and the silence filled with an intimacy that spoke louder than words could ever convey.

[moreworldliness]

Hello! It's been a while!

You may be wondering where I've been - and it's entirely likely that you haven't been wondering that at all! For the vast majority of you, it may even be something like:

"Who are you? How did you get in my house? Please get out of my house before I call the police!"

And to that I say -- Please wait please I'm desperate.

You see, I've been on a holy mission as of late and have finally hit the point where I need more hands on deck. Why? Well! I'm working on:

Yeah! That's right! An Undertale fangame! A totally novel and unique idea that no-one's ever done before!

No, but really. I need as many hands as I can get, and this is honestly a post I've been holding off making for ages. It's always daunting asking for help, but here I am! Doing it!

But I'm not an idiot! You need proof that this is the project to join, right? Right? I wish I had more to show you than the bare bones of the code I have right now (and these background assets are by no means mine, though the player and Fire Guy(TM) and Cloak Guy(TM) sprites were graciously made by a dear friend (hense the need for spriters)), but hopefully my Insightful and Witty Commentary will draw you in!

So if I've caught your interest and you are:

A sprite artist

A musician

Someone offering coding help for this pile of spaghetti I've expertly cooked

Please send me a message here and we can talk further! This is a passion project, but I'm not a fool - you can't ask for help with offering recompense. I'll try my hardest to compensate those that do help with what limited money I have (I'm a university student, so I'll see what I can do) -- but even with all my dancing around the subject;

I really am in need for hands on deck that are willing to take a chance on these characters that I'm in love with, even if work is slow. Thank you so much for reading all of this. <3

[lgbt-cishet-movie-tournament]

Most LGBT cishet movie?

Movie Submissions!

Sometimes a cishet movie is a hit in this community even without any stories or characters reflecting us (or at least not explicitly or intentionally or... tastefully). Either because of its campiness and witty banter, its drama, its weirdness, amazing soundtrack and costumes or its diva-like personality taking center stage. Please don't take this poll seriously.

Examples of movies that follow the rules below:

The Wizard of Oz (1939), Clue (1985), The Exorcist (1973), The Servant (1963), The Sound of Music (1965), Heathers (1988), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), All About Eve (1950), Jawbreaker (1999), What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), 9 to 5 (1980).

Rules for Submissions:

Please don't fight we're literally just ranking the straightest gay movies and transest cis people. The most conforming and queer paradox.

Because of the tendency of this site to call something "gay" just because 2 conventionally attractive men stand next to each other for 5 seconds, I'm not counting shipping possibilities that much. The level of drama, camp and the number drag parodies it has is way more important than possible romantic relationships or sexual tension in submitted films. Also there's ace and aro people voting. Keep them in mind!

It has to be cishet but somehow still queer. Can be the camp, general weirdness, gnc clothes, sassiness, the inclusion of a diva, accidental coding, or some other secret option. Honestly if you find a way to reason so hard it works, you could even try to submit The Godfather (... it is very quotable...)

Submit movies that aren't just American!

Submit movies that are cult classic masterpieces or movies that objectively suck!

I love Mamma Mia but it does have gay characters. This poll came about because I found that a lot of older movies had queer fans that were able to connect to others through these movies while creating their own spaces. This was despite the movie being "straight and gender conforming". I love that there's more rep now, but I'm aiming for this to poll contain more vintage movies for a reason. and I want to expand my watchlist. I'm aware that there are movies from the 70s, 1920s, and other older eras with explicitly gay themes and characters like Victim 1961 or Salome 1920 (and I encourage you to widen your scope of historically significant films) but this isn't that poll.

Old movies with very stealth trans or gay coding with its side characters and unintentional lgbt+ coding is allowed, but you know these things can be hit or miss. Besides, I put Heathers on here even though it's homophobic. Fun but homophobic. You can submit movies with homophobia or conformist themes to a degree.

You can submit propaganda videos, text, and images! If you know any drag parodies of the movies, send them my way!

If you don't want to submit directly, you can @ me

Posts with polls will be tagged as #mlcm poll. Movies posts with #user submitted or #user submission means it was submitted through the google forms and will enter the tournament

Given that not a lot of people watch older movies, the battling polls will be paired by decade until it gets whittled down to the finals where old and young will both compete.

Competition will start May 1 in honor of The Wicker Man 1973, which i wish counted as a poll entry, but I limited myself to one movie I'd slip into the tournament despite the fact that there's not a lot of lgbt fans of the movie. And this was my runner up because I really liked The Exorcist's Regan and Karras. Unless someone else submits him, Wicker Man's not gonna be there. Rest in Peace Christopher Lee and his ugly blonde wig.

[physalian]

Character Types: The “Likable Autistic”

Already gave a tiny breakdown of this kind of character in Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of where I had this to say:

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Best character I could think of that does neurodivergence justice without being “cute” and infantilized is Lilo Pelekai, and I’ve posted about her.

Today I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and break down how I approached this kind of character in Eternal Night, with Markus.

Disclaimer:

He is based off me and my experiences, not meant to be a blanket representation of the DSM-5 checklist of autism, nor did I set out to write an autistic character. I set out to write one who’s neurodivergent, and he happens to be a lot like me, and I happen to have a lot of autistic traits (not officially diagnosed) but also a bunch of others, because he’s a person with nuance, not a walking agenda.

Anyway.

—

My goal with writing him, first and foremost, was not to make another Sheldon Cooper. One is enough. I wanted a “character who is also neurodivergent” not “the neurodivergent character” and when neurotypical (and usually straight, white, and cis) creators want to check off boxes on their diversity list, they tend to think of the latter counting as the whole personality.

Markus still fits the mold of the quiet introverted smart guy, but he’s capable of empathy, is the voice of reason to counterbalance his love interest’s “feelings first” decision-making, a bit of a badass able to hold his own in a fight, and witty when he wants to be, as not much intimidates him. And he’s gay and demisexual because I felt like it. Special interests? Cats and vampirism.

Without spoiling my own book too much, when I was sending it out to beta readers, I had a few come back who made it clear they did not like Markus and did not understand him. Reader: These were neurotypicals who needed me to slap an AUTISM label on Markus’s forehead to give his decisions a pass. Which, to me, meant I did a pretty good job writing him correctly.

He’s the obligate doctor of the coven, a former mortician’s apprentice who became a vampire to sate curiosity: He wanted to know what death felt like. His room doesn’t have a bed, just sheets in a pile in the corner and the rest of the space taken up by piles of books, various knicknacks to fiddle with, and all his medical tools (his favorite is the stethoscope).

Making him/giving him a love interest wasn’t planned. Things Happened and Opportunity arose to give both a neurodivergent character, and a demisexual character, a happy, healthy, communicative relationship, and I just couldn’t pass it up. Is he wish-fulfillment for me? 100%.

But so many times I see these characters and, if they do even have a romance, they’re always takers. They “take” in the partnership, but have nothing to give back. The writers insist that there’s something lovable about them without actually writing them doing loving things, that their person, usually a woman, tolerates (usually) him, because… she feels bad, or they can’t write women, or she’s settling because she couldn’t get anyone else, or the only thing competent about him is that he’s decent in bed.

Usually he’s rude and selfish and only thinks of himself, and she bends over backwards doing all the emotional labor, all the “adult” relationship things like home keeping, mothering him not unlike the deadbeat “everyman” protagonist. He’ll insult her and play it off as brutal honesty, he’ll only talk about himself and his interests and cut her out of things the second she becomes a hindrance to his plans, and he overshares about their intimacy to friends, oblivious to how embarrassed she is because he doesn't understand that some things aren't meant to be shared (you know this is really starting to sound like a standard dickish man just with an "ND" sticker like that absolves their behavior of any accountability....).

In essence, they’re “together” but only because the writer says so. They wax poetic about how great she is for him, but have zero supporting evidence for why he's good for her (which is a lot of male protagonists, to be fair).

I didn’t want to do that with Markus and his lover. They’re a team, through and through. Markus’s filtered pragmatism is still honesty-above-feelings, but it’s not brutal honesty. He can ignore “feeling” in the name of the logical solution, no matter how unpopular the logical solution may be. His partner, in turn, is aaaalll “feeling” and quickly Markus’s fiercest defender without infantilizing him or belittling him or stepping on his toes. Markus gives back in his own ways, too, in taking meticulous care of his lover’s tools and weapons among other spoilery things.

Being on the ace and autism spectrum is pretty common, not breaking any new ground there, but I thought the combination of Markus being demi and his lover being a sex-favorable ace was fun. When he got nervous around approaching sex, I got to write him stimming with his favorite comfort objects (his various vintage medical instruments), seemingly random different hardlines on intimacy he likes vs won’t go near, how overstimulation can ruin everything, and how one can feel like they’re wrong or broken for not liking sex—in his case, he just took a while to figure out an emotional attachment is a necessary ingredient for his enjoyment (and, you know, somebody who gives a shit and is patient and attentive).

Markus is also in stark opposition to his lover’s other love interest (this book kind of has a love-pentagon going on). He’s mature and independent and knows exactly what he wants in a relationship, to a person who’ll bend over backward trying to make everyone happy at his own expense.

He also is new to this “love” thing and he does have his emotional shortcomings. He's unable to understand why XYZ is so important or so meaningful or why Person F continues to repeat such-and-such behavior that clearly only brings them grief and upset or why Person G continues to shoot themselves in the foot. His pragmatism does come at inopportune moments and it frustrates other characters who aren’t looking for a solution, just room to vent.

Markus doesn’t get a ton of screen time and only a couple narrating POVS, but I took every chance I could get to write what I think is both a multifaceted character and relationship to admire.

—

Sooooo, if you’d like to read him in full HD technicolor, you can pick up a copy of Eternal Night of the Northern Sky in ebook or paperback.

[sitp-recs]

*posting this way too early to make sure she'll will get to see it today hihi*

Happy happy birthday @shiftylinguini! I wanted to do a little something to celebrate one of the coolest, most talented HP authors out there. Sami is literally the coolest. Anyone who knows me at this point has realized that horny smut and clever humor are the way to conquer my heart. And Sam delivers both - and also plots! Character development! Drama and romance! - masterfully. Fuck buddies, Auror partners, A/B/O, established relationship, triads, age gap (my beloved!), you name it. She’s written it all, with impeccable dialogue and UST.

Sami, I’ve been following your works for quite a few years now and they never fail to impress me with your unique and hilarious sense of humour, your charming and vibrant characters, the A+ banter and domesticity, the clever plots, the lush sexual tension, witty dialogue and above all, unfailing emotional resonance. You build charged yet playful atmospheres like no one else and I’m especially grateful for your iconic takes on creature fic and A/B/O, two tropes that never interested me much until I found Embers and became utterly obsessed with it.

Your fics have shaped my Drarry experience and appreciation for rare pairs over the years and I'm sure I'm not alone; I don’t think you even realize the impact or how seminal your works were to some of us. You’re both a Drarry and rare pair champion, which is why I wanted to take some time and give your phenomenal catalogue a shoutout by highlighting my all-time favorites. I hope you have a lovely birthday knowing how appreciated you are by all of us! Sending lots of love and wishing you a fantastic year ahead, my friend 💙

Safe (M, 2k) - Harry/Sirius

He’s not James, Sirius tells himself as Harry gets into bed with him on a cold Monday night. He’s not James, but Sirius is not Padfoot anymore either.

Toeing the Line (E, 3k) - Drarry + Teddy

Draco wasn’t sure why watching his partner fuck Teddy until he screamed was somehow less morally iffy for Harry than just doing it himself, but Draco wasn’t about to judge. Not when he was balls deep, anyway. Read my rec here.

(Don’t) Behave (E, 3k) - Teddy/Charlie

Teddy is a bit of a mess, and Harry is at his wits’ end with his eighteen-year-old godson. Sending him to Charlie, thinking the older man could knock some sense into the kid, seemed like a great idea.

Sardines (E, 4k) - Scorbus + Jeddy

It’s bad enough his cock is hard from listening to the impromptu midnight pornography of his brother getting off; Albus is not going to add seeing it to the list of reasons why he lost his mind, and presumably his eyesight, on the eve of his grandmother's seventieth. Read my rec here.

A Noir Cliche (T, 4k) - Drarry

Draco is not a Healer. Harry doesn’t get hurt on purpose. They really have to stop meeting like this. Read my rec here.

Five Years (M, 4.7k) - Drarry

For Draco, December means finding somewhere he can lose himself in the thrum of a crowd and the throb of music ― and Potter. It always means Potter now, too. Read my rec here.

Float (E, 5k) - Drarry

After a night out, Harry wakes up feeling like he slept on concrete, like his body's made of sand, like he accidentally pissed on his housemate the night before. Because he did accidentally piss on his housemate the night before.

Splat (E, 5.8k) - Albus/James

Of all the things to happen to them, this is truly, truly the last thing James expected. Cw: incest, mild gore

Up The (E, 7.5k) - Drarry

“I feel I need to point out,” Draco kissed gently over Harry’s Adam’s apple, “that this is the most Gryffindor approach to conception that could possibly exist.” Or: Harry's had madder ideas.

forget what I need, give me what I want (and it should be fine) (E, 8k) - Draco/James

But even on those nights when the club is mad with punters and there are staff running ragged from one end to the other, Draco doesn’t need to be working behind the bar ― he just likes it.

Service Bell (E, 8k) - Drarry

Draco is: a werewolf, living in a cabin in the woods, minding his own business, and never going to buy plaid because he's not that much of a fucking cliche (yet). He's also counting down the days until he sees Harry again.

Teeter (E, 10k) - Drarry

Draco wants to come, Harry has other ideas, and they both might be doing this whole 'casually sleeping together' thing a bit wrong.

Hallo Spaceboy (T, 10k) - Jeddy

James’d had to give up on the eyeliner after that; he was grinning too hard, flushed and happy and basking in Teddy’s attention (fit blokes, we’re fit blokes, that’s us), and he couldn't bloody stop. Or: James kissed Teddy last night. This may or may not be the end of the world.

Team Players (E, 15k) - Jeddy + James/Oliver

Everyone has that one celebrity they’d move heaven and earth to get between their legs, and James Potter is no exception. He just never anticipated that number one on his Freebie List would end up in the same room as him, let alone would make the first move. Read my rec here.

Darling, Don’t Think Twice (E, 18k) - Harry/Teddy

Leaving the Aurors, and then England, after his divorce with Ginny was finalised was the best thing for Harry, and for Ginny, too ― but not for the godson who worshipped the ground he walked on. Now that he’s back, all Harry wants is to set up his own place, and to spend time with Teddy as he tries to fix their fractured relationship.

Celestial Bodies (E, 20k) - Drarry

“An astrological anomaly induced bond,” Harry repeats, deadpan, as the Head Healer of the Magical Malfunctions ward finishes announcing his prognosis. “Space magic,” says Draco, tapping long fingers irritably against the arm of his chair. “You’re saying we’ve been zapped by space magic.”

Two Weeks (E, 22k) - Drarry

If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous.

Midnight in the City of a Hundred Spires (E, 25k) - Drarry

Harry Potter is a missing person. Draco Malfoy is a vampire. They are the last two people one would expect to bump into each other in a Creature Bar in Prague, yet to Draco’s absolute shock that is definitely Harry fucking Potter sitting across from him.

Embers (E, 41k) - Drarry

Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. Read my rec here.

Heartlines (E, 72k) - Drarry

Harry never expected he’d end up chipping away at his virginity while wandless and bonded to Malfoy in Northern Europe. He never expected that would turn out to be the least surprising thing to happen while out on their training expedition in the middle of nowhere, either. Read my rec here.

[danganronpafan777]

Random Reassurance

(Strange title, I know-)

I mentioned it on a previous post that I’m on a class trip for a few days and won’t be able to write for a week.

Today, I was helping a transgender classmate shop for women’s clothing. Our friends were busy and it was just me and her. She was really anxious about it, and few clothes fitting her, and the clothes that did being too expensive.

I hadn’t talked to her much before, and had only really befriended her with our mutual friends during this trip, but the experience was… I’m not sure how to describe it. I saw my joking classmate that always called me short be genuinely vulnerable and anxious, and I tried my best to help her every step of the way. We found something she liked and then had to regroup with other friends for dinner. We’ll recruit them to help later.

I’m not sure how much I helped, but I offered to pay and gave her as much support as I could, but I’m not good with verbal words and speaking, so writing on this blog is my best way to spread this message, in case I didn’t get it through to her right.

To any trans people reading this, or anyone feeling lost in themselves:

You are amazing no matter what. You shouldn’t feel the need to base yourselves or interests on labels nor other people. Defining yourself and who you are is completely up to you, and if you don’t know who you are, you have people to guide you and hold your hand through it all. You don’t have to lean towards one style or gender. You aren’t weird or strange for your quirks and hobbies and hyperfixations. There’s people that are happy to listen to you ramble about them, and would never think of you as a burden, especially not if you asked for help. I don’t know anyone’s lives outside a screen any better than you know mine. But I’m here and I’ll do my best. I don’t know what any of you look like, and for your safety, don’t show me. The best I can do is read whatever you send me and give you advice, write you a scenario, or make some witty remark. I’m sorry if that’s not enough, or what you need. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all happiness Yeah, you’re valid, but you always were, and no matter how you choose to define yourself, as long as you feel comfortable and safe in your own skin, you always will be.

[kpchrs]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ❤️

Oh no! This again! Thanks, Mita!

Uhhhhhh... I answered this before and I have answered them with my biggest favourites. I need to think about it that's why it takes a long time lol

Eye colour? My eyes are brown and it's such a common colour but I love it? I think it's pretty. I do wish it was lighter, but eh. What do they say about big doe brown eyes something i unno. Yeah, my eyes are big too with multiple eyelids, even though exhaustion just droops them down now lmao But eyes are really my favourite part of human faces! I LOVE looking at people's eyes! I don't really do makeup but if I do I really love eye makeup.

Hair colour? lol Okay, wait, I don't intend this to be a pattern, but I do genuinely like black as my hair. I do think of dyeing it but it's not in a condition where I think I should. It's still virgin btw. When it's sunkissed it's light brown anyway, Idk if that's because it's damaged or it's hereditary LOL

I love all my online friends I've made all these years! The reason why I'm here is because of friendship. I don't care shit about follower counts and engagement, man. If you wanna be friends, just hmu pls T_T

My posts and tweets? HAHA As I've said I don't care shit about engagements but everything I put out I write to my standard lol From the most unserious to the most serious shit. I think I'm funny btw. I like it when I'm witty sksksk

My fingers. It's long and flexible. When I compare my hands to my girl friends, I always have the longest ones. It's not slender per se, it's a bit jointy, some are double-jointed even, but I believe it's the product of practising piano for years (not the double joint lol That's the product of me manipulating the joints when I was a little kid). I don't do piano anymore, but it's the symbol of my...idk, glory days, I guess. When I still had piano as my pride. I always keep my nails short out of habit, reminiscent of that pride. When I type they are claw-shaped, because that's how you play the piano. They are soft and gentle and I think hands are my favourite way of showing affection.

[liketheletter-l]

Do you have a favourite episode of community or any thoughts on the series? I saw you reblog a post earlier about it and there aren’t a lot of opportunities to talk about one of my favourite autism shows

OH MY GOD. OKAY

i can't even pretend i'm normal about community even a little bit, it's literally seared into my brain and is a permanent part of my personality. my sister @inalienable-wright and i are working on ranking all 110 episodes (she literally coded a program so that instead of having to work with every episode, it presents us with two at a time and we just pick which one's better, it's really fucking cool)

the question of a Favorite Episode is really complicated to me, because i could think of at least fifteen off the top of my head that make me about the same amount of Deliriously Happy so here are some, in no particular order:

2x21 Paradigms of Human Memory

3x19 Curriculum Unavailable

3x04 Remedial Chaos Theory (duh)

3x05 Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps

2x14 Advanced Dungeons & Dragons

2x08 Cooperative Calligraphy

1x10 Comparative Religion

1x19 Beginner Pottery

2x06 Epidemiology

2x15 Early 21st Century Romanticism

3x01 Biology 101

2x01 Anthropology 101

3x07 Studies in Modern Movement

1x17 Physical Education

1x07 Introduction to Statistics

6x01 Ladders

rambling thoughts about the series as a whole under the cut:

As you can see i obviously like seasons 1-3 more, and honestly if i kept listing favorite episodes from those seasons it would go on and on, because s2 and s3 esp are just ALL-STAR seasons (with a few exceptions, obvs. 2x18 and 2x20 come to mind for instant skips)

that being said, i liked seasons 4-6 fine. s4 isn't necessarily the level of absolute dogshit everyone says, but it was indeed bland compared to the vivid colorful witty hijinks of s1-3. it's hard to pinpoint because you're mostly noticing the ABSENCE of something; most of the actual episodes aren't Bad, but they just don't compare to the seasons before.

season 5 has a lot of good material that i can't rewatch Or i will literally fucking die. G.I. Jeff is a fucking masterpiece imo, geothermal goes without saying, Advanced Advanced DnD & the meowmeowbeenz episode were both funny as fuck, the ass crack bandit ep was gold, and most of the other episodes are solid. it's just Sad. there's just an incredibly melancholy and depressing tinge to the entire season and it makes me fucking SAD

season 6 i found very fun because i love frankie and elroy, but most of the episodes are too goddamn tragic to even rewatch just because it just feels hollow. there are some very funny parts of the season! but overall, it felt like they were trying to cram in the usual amount of hijinks, when really they only had 13 episodes to give these characters a satisfying send-off, and it ends up just leaving jeff and britta in particular at a STARTLINGLY low point to close out the entire series. i watched 6x13 at about 4am the morning before an exam and i cried so hard i started dry heaving to be honest

the only way i can watch the first three seasons is by pretending everything after the s3 finale straight-up Doesn't exist. i believe that the showrunners did (mostly) the best they could with the string of production disaster after production disaster post-season 3, but the ending is simply So fucking tragic.

our beautiful codependent insane found family that we've spent 3 seasons watching become closer and care for each other and get into trouble together just slowly, painfully gets picked off one by one. it's not even a clean break it's an Agonizing decay. i have to try very hard not to let it sour the rest of the series for me.

This is why we write fanfiction though! (i do wish there was more content focused on the study group as a whole rather than just trobed, but such is life) you should definitely DEFINITELY check out my sister's writing here because her community fic is fantastic

overall i think this show is one of the best ever made & i literally cannot express in words Just how close it is to my soul. it is inside my heart. it is literally part of me (im normal)

PLEASE HIT ME UP TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wakanai]

My flaws ✨

(making this because i want to look back on it when im older)

im sure ill be much different in the future 😌

so let's begin discussing my flaws 😌

(tw: eds, body dysmorphia, long post)

overweight

bad sleep schedule (usually 2-4 hrs on weekdays)

bad eating habits (last week, I didn't eat except for dinner and I binged ate those dinners then on the weekends i binged all 3 meals cause i was idle)

being insecure about my faith even tho it's my belief system and is what keeps me going TT

not being open irl

having a hard time breaking the ice (i can do boring conversations like 'hi! how are you?' and am good at listening to other people but me being weird? interesting? making insane jokes and connecting instantly and sharing big laughs with people i just met? no TT TT i can be funny and insane w my close friends but i wish i wasn't so reserved and awkward around new people TT)

caring too much what other people think

not being pushy enough (the other day, I went up to a classmate and asked 'you're the board monitor right? can u put this on the board?' she denied it and stared straight into space without looking back at me. so I left and put it on the board myself. I'm quite sure she was lying though, she just didn't want to do it)

not setting my priorities straight (pls TT i would elaborate if it wasn't for my insecurity issues 😭)

I annoy my brother a lot but sometimes I think I go too far

I don't exercise on my own unless it's something I registered for TT

why the hell am I attracted to people who are good at manipulating others (maybe because i like someone who knows the tricks and doesn't get used by others 😂 and is just real as hell) <<< once had a convo w my popular, confident classmate. told him I used to be in the top 5 hated people in class cause people thought i was a 'show off' or had 'hero complex' cuz i kept suggesting ideas and raising my hand in class. he said "obv. you have to do it for the honors" and shared that even though he gets called a 'kiss up' for being friendly w the teachers, it helps him get good grades and advantages. he's rlly cool even tho i lowkey think he's manipulative lol (but he's kind too and i like him. rlly funny and makes sense why he's got lots of friends. i want to get his confidence so bad TT)

hmm what else? sometimes i cant control my facial expressions.

my mind goes blank during social interactions sometimes. someone will make a joke or comment and idk how to respond TT like my brain just goes ***loading*** - and yet im so witty when im w my close friends ugh

dense

will send a message confronting someone then be hesitant to open their response :)

procrastinator

not responsible enough

i want to get kunikida's discipline and dedication when it comes to working :)

that's all for now. might add more in future idk. but for now all i really want is to get the confidence to show my real self and actually make my priorities straight. *cough cough put God first *cough cough submit all those college applications *cough cough do my things correctly *cough cough interact w my classmates who i think are rlly cool but inferiority complex and stereotyping myself are getting in the way 😄

by stereotyping myself, i mean thinking of myself (sometimes) as the 'boring classmate' like ?? why do humans put themselves into a box? why can't they just do what they want? it's disgusting TT

it reminds me of the time in grade 8 where my friend said

"I'm surprised your friends with En"

"why?"

"I mean..you're so different. you're like the kind classmate and she's the...yk" (En is very loud, extroverted, can be unintentionally mean, 'popular' girl)

bruh i hate high school culture so much 😂 that's a rant for another day tho.

my current class is actually really great. senior culture is quite diff. im just not that confident and have to let myself out there more and stop putting myself in a box because that's not how humans work).

***

btw the pewdiepie picture i used is from this video lol

have a good day ig TT

<3

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hello, dear stranger i admire <3. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to make an ABC Prompt with the letters F, N, O, Q and T for Napoleon Bonaparte of IkeVamp :3, feel free to skip a letter if you think I exceeded jsjs. If you can do it then well and if you can't then it's also okay (English is not my main language so I apologize if I'm not understood somewhere) I send you a psychological hug as far as you are <3

!!!! Hello friend!! Please don't worry, I'll be answering all of these :D

And you're just fine, sweetums, you communicate yourself beautifully! muah muah, sending virtual hugs to you too!!! 💚💚💚💚

I do apologize for the long wait, but I hope you enjoy these!

Family – Does he want one?

Is that even a question, nunuche???

All jokes aside, the answer I think is yes, absolutely. He really does take to children very well, and lives to protect and teach them how to survive. He has a knack for inspiring confidence, a steadfast presence that makes people feel safe and loved and proud. He knows when to encourage and when to let people stand on their own two feet–and that’s a pretty crucial skill when it comes to parenting/mentoring.

That being said I think it will be a challenge for him to remember that not everybody is like him, sometimes. To be brave and fierce is admirable surely, but it’s important to remember that not everybody will share those qualities. If disagreements ever arise, I think it’ll be because he might need reminders that the solutions/approaches that worked for him might not always work for his child.

But he’s also aware of how much a person learns by doing things themselves and messing up a few times. With a bit of patience–and reassurance from MC–he’ll find the strength to take a step back. Children need to find their own answers, and so it must be, he’ll make his peace with that somehow.

(If there’s one thing he never hopes for his child, it’s the sight of war…)

As for when, I feel like it would be fairly soon in the relationship? I don’t think he would ever feel comfortable rushing his MC, but easily within the first few years together he’d be cool with it. He’s just kind of the ultimate caretaker energy, reliable but not a stick in the mud either :D

No MC this isn't because he wants to chase little kiddies around the house and make them giggle and shriek--

Nightmare – What is his worst fear?

Please, God, don’t make me kill again.

While Napoleon is very rarely a man ruled by fear, he can easily admit that his worst nightmare is always about losing his loved ones (namely MC). Or outliving MC, as he inevitably will. But I suppose that’s a bit of an obvious answer, yes? Let’s dig a little deeper (shoves trowel into his brain)

I sense a few great fears that plague him.

He’s a man grounded by his capability to protect that which he loves; if he loses the capacity to do that, he would be utterly devastated. I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t want others protecting him, or that he would grow bitter and resentful if he couldn’t. I think it’s more just the nature of his life and identity? He has devoted himself to the protection of innocents, and he lives to serve. He acts as a bodyguard/guard, helps children, seeks justice for the dispossessed. A man like that would wither under immense incapacity, and the thought unnerves him sometimes.

Expanding on that, I see him very wary of hurting MC via his bloodlust. While he has a great deal of control and rarely ever lapses, I think he is constantly aware of his loss of humanity. Even if MC loves and trusts him, there’s a part of him that will always fear being the reason MC comes to harm. It goes against everything he believes in, and against the vow he made.

And last, but certainly not least, is his general desire for peace to last. He doesn't want a world plagued by pain, the way he knew it. If there's anything he would move heaven and earth to accomplish, it would be to keep MC away from that level of violence and destruction.

Sometimes it keeps him up at night, sometimes he just has to take a deep breath and banish the possibility from his mind. On days where it feels impossible, he'll be clingier than usual--silently drawing her close in his embrace. After a short while MC will recognize what it means, protests at the suddenness dying in her throat as she strokes his hair gently. Let him linger a little, indulge him just this once won't you, nunuche? He doesn't have the heart to talk about it...

Oddity – What’s a quirk he has?

(I mean…of the like 500 we already know about? Man that’s a tall order)

Back during his soldat days, he actually got his pinkie finger more or less crushed while moving a cannon. It healed just fine, but because of the damage it doesn’t bend quite right anymore. Rather than the fluid stretch people recognize when they unfurl and clench their fists, his pinky only has two modes–rigidly straight or bent. It doesn’t bother him all that much but alas he will never live his lifelong dream of playing the flute (kidding, nunuche, what do I know about music).

Quality Time – How does he like to spend time with her?

Honestly, I feel like he’s the kind of man contented with just about any kind of time with her. Whether he’s just helping her with chores to stay close, they’re on a date, or just cuddling in bed. He will admit that time spent where her full attention is on him is preferable, if he had to choose.

He also loves the sight of her when they’re playing with/mentoring the kids. She gets such a warm, sweet look on her face when she indulges them–and even when she’s feeling out of her depth, she gets the cutest stymied look. While he tries not to intervene too much (he knows she can handle it) he often finds himself ruffling her hair and telling the kids to stop giving her such a hard time.

Time – How long did it take for them to get together?

Honestly? I’m ngl, Napoleon did always feel like a slow burn type of guy, largely because of the extent of the healing he needs to do in his life. He’s not really against the idea of a relationship, more just really burned himself out during his human life. The inevitable result of that is needing somebody who can help him understand that he is more than just his usefulness, that it’s okay to grieve no matter how pointless it may feel.

When a person has known so much horror and loss and loneliness, it’s only natural they would need time to accept the opposite. My best bet would probably be a few months, if not a year, before he betrays any indication of love. I also feel like it’s the result of his personality; he’s not the type of man for flings or half-hearted confessions, I think. He prefers a steady, devoted commitment to another person. And he has a sharp eye for who it is that he wants–now it’s just a matter of fighting that internalized denial of happiness.

[ragnarlothcat]

Imma sucked for sugar baby AUs, tell me what's going on with yours??

I am delighted you'd like to hear more, thank you 🥰 It's a very silly fic already. I posted about it ages ago but can't find it in my posts (is tumblr being annoying at anyone else or just me?) but the gist is that Obi-Wan is a senator and Anakin is still a Jedi. Senator Kenobi gets some death threats so the Council sends him a Jedi (Anakin) and Obi-Wan immediately decides that what this grumpy, powerful man really needs is for someone to spoil him and let him rest.

This scene is very early, when Anakin is just settling into his newest assignment and Obi-Wan is tormenting him.

(For this wip game!)

“What do you think?” Senator Kenobi asks, and Anakin drags his eyes away from the window he’d been staring out pointedly. The latest outfit is even more form-fitting than the last, clinging to the man’s pecs (why is a senator ripped?) and cinching in around his slim hips. Decked out in white and gold Kenobi looks like a king.

“It’s fine.”

Kenobi hums negatively and adjusts the little cape over his broad shoulders. “Fine? Knight Skywalker, this is one of the most important days in the Stewjoni calendar. I can’t show up looking fine. It would be disrespectful to my ancestors, you know.”

Distantly Anakin wishes he’d paid more attention in class. Kenobi might well be telling the truth, but the amused quirk of his lips makes Anakin suspect that he’s being toyed with, and he feels a flash of sympathy for the temple’s mouse droids.

“I’ll try something else,” Kenobi continues, undoing his shirt to expose his coppery chest hair, and Anakin bites back a groan. “Problem?”

“I can give you some privacy,” Anakin suggests weakly. “I’m supposed to protect you at the gala, Senator. That’s where our intel suggested you might be in danger.”

Kenobi huffs and crosses his arms. “The assassins might break in through the window and murder me while I’m half naked and…vulnerable.”

Anakin gets the sense that this man has never been vulnerable once in his entire life. Kenobi was probably born with a witty rejoinder on his lips and a snifter of brandy clutched in one hand.

“I don’t think you need to worry about that,” is what Anakin says.

“Senator Amidala was almost killed in her bed.” Oh good, he has a rebuttal. Of course he does. “She told me you once had to burst in while she was sleeping and defend her from some kouhuns.”

So Kenobi knows Padmé. That might explain why he requested Anakin, of all people, to be his personal security detail. Anakin was assigned to Padmé, and they both survived the experience. There were some…complications, admittedly, but they parted ways as friends.

If she’s responsible for this newest assignment he might need to reconsider that friendship.

“Yes,” Anakin grits out, ignoring the way Kenobi’s cheek dimples when he smiles. “But that was the middle of the night. If someone looked through your window now to try to kill you, they’d see you awake and…preening.”

Kenobi laughs, throwing his head back to reveal the bristled line of his throat. “Is that what I’m doing?”

Anakin flushes and turns his head. “I meant no offense.”

“And none was taken. I am fussing, rather, but I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly. Every detail must be perfect, you know.” Kenobi surveys the carnage of his outfit selection process, heaps of rich colors and decadent fabrics laid out across the man’s bed like petals. They look so soft, so elegant— “So which one have you liked best so far?”

Anakin refocuses on Kenobi’s unfairly handsome face. “I don’t know, Senator.”

“Obi-Wan, please.”

Anakin huffs. “Obi-Wan. They all look pretty similar.” At Kenobi’s raised eyebrow Anakin sighs. “I guess I liked the white one best. It made you look—”

“Fine?” But Kenobi’s voice is gently teasing.

“Powerful,” Anakin mutters, and then ducks to hide the rush of blood to his cheeks. “That will honor your ancestors, right?” Oh Force, this is so embarrassing, the senator is going to think Anakin’s some kind of youngling, with a ridiculous crush on a man he’s supposed to be protecting—

“Thank you, Anakin,” Kenobi says, his voice deep and warm. “You understand perfectly. I knew you were clever.”

Anakin shrugs and fiddles with the clasp of his glove. He still feels a bit wrongfooted. He doesn’t know the first thing about fashion, or galas, or politics. He just knows his stomach tightened with something like anticipation when he saw the senator in that getup.

Kenobi smiles winningly in the mirror, and shrugs on a robe. “I suppose that’s me taken care of” —thank the gods— “but the afternoon is still young. What about you, my oh-so-clever knight?”

“What?” Anakin looks down at his tabards and then back up. “I’m wearing my robes.”

Kenobi clucks his tongue. “You are not. This is a gala, Anakin, not a battle. The only fighting will be over the best canapés.”

“Isn’t someone trying to kill you?” Anakin asks blankly.

“No, we can’t have you skulking in background dressed in black. This is a celebration of light, dear one, not the Siege of Christophsis.”

“Yes, I know,” Anakin says, eyeing Kenobi warily. “That’s why I’m standing here chitchatting about shirts instead being shot in the face. Not that the two experiences differ significantly, from a discomfort perspective—"

Kenobi laughs, his eyes crinkling and Anakin wonders if it’s too late to ask for a reassignment. “Such dramatics! Don’t you fret, Anakin. I’ll decide quickly. Fortunately I think you can pull off practically anything, can’t you?”

Pull off—Kenobi is doing this on purpose, isn’t he? "I have to be able to protect you. My robes are perfect for fighting, for running, for arresting people—”

“You can do all those things in my clothes, Anakin. Believe me,” he says with a rich chuckle, “I checked.”

Anakin chokes on his spit. “When did you arrest someone?”

“Now, your eyes suggest that blue might be striking.” Kenobi says, as though Anakin hasn’t spoken. “But something tells me that you might be breathtaking in gold. It’s the way your hair looks in the lamplight, maybe…”

“You want to dress me in gold? Isn’t that kind of flashy?” It’s incredibly flashy. Anakin knows, he built a gold protocol droid. “I don’t want to draw any attention away from you on this, uh, momentous occasion.” As though anyone would bother looking at Anakin when Kenobi is right there. He assumes he’d be nothing more than a shiny distraction, annoying everyone who’d rather stare at the way Kenobi’s abs flex when he laughs.

(Not that Anakin can relate or anything.)

Kenobi brushes that aside with a wave of his pale hand. “Please, darling” —darling? — “everyone will be looking at you regardless. Whether you’re draped in glimmering finery or scowling at them in your functional Jedi attire.”

Anakin scoffs. “Hardly, Senator. Look, I want to respect your customs and if it’s important, I can wear a different outfit. But don’t waste good money on me.”

“Waste—you have no idea, do you?” Kenobi pushes in until he’s close enough that Anakin can smell whatever ridiculous cologne he’s wearing, something spicy and mouth-watering. “You’re so lovely, Anakin, so strong.”

“Um.” Anakin likes to think he’s capable, sure. He’s won more space battles than any other Jedi, he’s one of the best duelists in the Order (second only to his Master, probably) and—

“I know you’re capable, Anakin, I know you’re brave. I’ve seen the holos,” Kenobi murmurs, and a distant part of Anakin’s brain rejoices at the idea that this handsome, smooth-voiced man has been watching him. “You do so much for the republic, for the galaxy. Don’t you think you deserve something nice for once?”

“I get lots of nice things,” Anakin protests, reflexively. True, war leaves precious little time for relaxation, but Anakin isn’t deprived or anything. He’s a Jedi. He’s not supposed to need things.

Kenobi ignores him and picks up a discarded shirt that Anakin faintly remembers him trying on an hour ago. “Feel the fabric,” he coos, and Anakin reaches out with his ungloved left hand. The silk slips across fingers like water, the gold catching the light and shimmering gently against his skin.

It’s softer than anything he’s ever touched before. “Oh,” Anakin sighs. “This feels expensive.”

Kenobi tuts gently and pushes up Anakin’s sleeve just slightly to expose his wrist and forearm. “Hardly. Oh Anakin,” Kenobi breathes, and a small, distant part of him wonders if the senator is playing this up to torment him, or if the man genuinely sounds like sex in all innocent conversations. Maybe he should volunteer to sit in a few senate sessions. “You’re glowing.”

The gold does make his tan seem brighter, somehow. His last campaign was on a tundra planet and his skin lightened a little in the constant snow. He wonders if the color will do anything for the bags under his eyes or the dullness of his complexion that Padmé commented on sympathetically.

“Doesn’t that feel nice?” Kenobi asks, as he drags the silk over his bare skin. “And—yes, I thought so,” he says, and lifts the fabric to Anakin’s face. “Your eyes shine like stars.”

Anakin feels the tickle of the silk against his cheek and presses into it. It still smells a bit like Kenobi’s cologne and it’s so thin he can feel the warmth of the senator’s large hand. His fingers are inches away, Anakin could almost taste them—

“It’s settled,” Kenobi says, and Anakin’s eyes snap open. “I’ll have my tailor make you a set too.”

“Tailor?” Anakin sputters against the touch of the cloth. “No, that’s too much—”

“Hush, Anakin,” Kenobi says, and tugs the shirt away to drape it over his bed, beside the clothes he himself will be wearing. It’s not lost on Anakin that the two outfits complement each other perfectly. Anakin and the senator are going to look like they’re— “You have no idea what a gift you’ve given me. I’ll have a beautiful, shining Jedi Knight at my gala, looking like the sun itself. I can’t think of a better way to honor my culture. Can you?”

Anakin clears his throat around the tightness that appeared when Obi-Wan called him ‘beautiful.’ “I mean, no? You’d know better than I would.”

“You’re right, Anakin. I would,” Kenobi says crisply. “Now, you don’t have your ears pierced, do you? I have some lovely sapphires that have been languishing in my collection.”

“Why would I need—”

“An outfit like this demands jewels, Anakin. You’d look simply ridiculous without, and I’d look ridiculous by association. And I know you don’t want me to show up at my own gala looking ridiculous.”

“No,” Anakin sighs, “I don’t want that. But my ears are not pierced.” Unless the senator counts that time he was shot in the ear. That had been a kind of piercing.

But that doesn’t seem to dampen Kenobi’s enthusiasm. Far from it. “It’s no matter,” he says, and grins. “I have a circlet that will look even better against your pretty curls.”

Anakin tugs on his hair self-consciously, the flood of compliments echoing in his mind. “Isn’t this all a bit…much? It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, senator, but—”

“Anakin,” Kenobi scolds, even as he rummages through a cupboard to pull out a flat, velvet box. “I told you. Call me Obi-Wan.”

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tetsurou Kuroo || Kiss Kiss, Fall in Love 🍃

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | main blog ||

If ever two were one, then surely we. –To My Dear and Loving Husband || A. Bradstreet

🍃 A love story as told through kisses…

↠ Requested By: Nobody, I just had an ~i d e a~, Mr. Krabs ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW quip-y floof with a dash of angst for flavor lol ((but my blog’s 18+; if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Pre and post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: As I’ve said before, Tetsuro Kuroo is his own warning tbh lmao. But he cute so we’ll let it slide. Aside from that, that dash of angst that I mentioned before comes in the form of allusions to pre-time skip Kuroo’s rocky home life. I don’t go super into detail, but it does get touched on in the second and third sections; there’ll be a more in depth note before said sections. Also the general stresses that come with being a third year are touched on in the second section. ↠ Betas? Nah, we good. ((we are indeed, not ‘good’, but I’m too lazy/weird to actually work with a beta lol)) ↠ Total WC: 6k~

Inspired in part by my girl Zaira (@screamin-abt-haikyuu)’s post and my corresponding review. It’s a v. cute, fun read (tho it does start off with some angst, but it gets cleared up in short order, promise!!)—I highly recommend both her and her work, tho y’all probably know that already lol. It was definitely the kick I needed to get this installment started…

So once again I may have gotten a bit carried away with the First Kiss section—and by ‘may have’ I mean I definitely did, but it’s not my fault! With this being my first time writing for our dear chemistry rooster I’m still gathering my thoughts/HCs about him and how a relationship with him would function so things are naturally a bit more wordy. Plus I’ve found that I really like writing banter with him because you just know he’d match you word for witty, quip-y word and I love that type of energy.

But anyways!

Actually there isn’t really an ‘anyways’ this time around, so uhh, have at it ig lol…

First Kiss 🍃 Partners, in Crime and Otherwise || WC: 3.2k~

CW/TW for one very brief mention of Reader’s questionable sleeping/eating habits—as in they forget to eat, esp. when stressed, and sleep in regular intervals in v. much a foreign concept to them ((me, projecting? it’s about as likely as you think lol)).

“Hey, ____, can I uh, can I talk to you for a minute, babe?”

Ignoring the butterflies that immediately set themselves to fluttering in your tummy at the casual use of the petname, you give Kuroo a smile and a nod before excusing yourself from the group. Several of your friends give you knowing, overly amused looks that you also chose to ignore, opting instead to take the hand that’s offered to you.

As Tetsurou leads you away to somewhere more private, you focus on keeping your steps measured as the last thing you want is to trip over your own feet in front of your overly teasing best friend turned crush. You just know that he’d end up making a quip—“Can’t stop yourself for falling for me, eh?” or something else equally cheesy—that’ll send your heart and mind both into overdrive even as the former shatters just that little bit more.

You wish he meant all of the sweet little things he says to you, that his flirtation could be something more than banter, but you know that’s not in the cards for you. You’ve never been one for the whole ‘friendzone’ thing, as people are not vending machines that you put friendship coins into until a romantic relationship falls out, but at the same time you cannot help but to feel like a citizen all the same. And that’s just fine! Really. It’s not as if Kuroo owes you anything, least of all his affections, but…

Well that doesn’t stop you from craving them. And honestly how can you not, when he’s so damn amazing?

For all his teasing he’s so very kind, looking out for the whole of his team and all of his friends with a level of attention that would leave so many others burnt out. But for Kuroo it isn’t a burdensome task, or at least not one that’s too great for his broad shoulders to bear; it’s just a part of the way he’s built. And when it comes to you specifically he’s always so gentle, even when he’s getting after you in one way or another. He knows you better than you know yourself some days, and he’s always there to fill in the spaces where you’re lacking. He’s sensitive to your every mood and very much in tune with you as a whole, so much so that it almost gives you hope–

But no. There’s no point in chasing a sun that has already set.

If Kuroo wanted to be with you he would’ve made a move by now, surely. In all the time you’ve known him he’s never once shown any real interest in you in that way, not even when various classmates had come to confess to you—in fact he encouraged you to say yes on several occasions! That is decidedly not the behavior of a guy who’s harboring feelings for you. But despite all this you still want to believe that there’s something more there so badly, and Kuroo with all of his (somewhat questionable) charms doesn’t help matters.

The sweet little names he’s always calling you are the worst perpetrators and perpetrators of your foolish hopes. Babe, baby, honey, sweetheart, my little quark (that one’s admittedly a lot-a-bit nerdy, but it leaves your cheeks burning just the same, and is honestly among your favorites)—the list goes on and on and on. You know you should tell him to lay off, but there’s a part of you (that greedy, selfish, mildly masochistic part that’s all too willing to latch on to even the smallest scraps of affection) that cannot do without it. And so you allow him to unwittingly cut into your chest with every word, to peel back the layers of skin and muscle and bone with each new display of care to toy with your heart.

But it won’t do you any good to focus on any of that, ever, really, but especially right now when he’s clearly got something important to tell you.

When you finally stop walking you find that you’re on the very edges of the school’s grounds. The pair of you often come up here when you want to get away from the rest of your friends and just breathe a bit. Lately it’s become a weekly occurrence, with every Wednesday seeing you both making your way to this towering tree to share lunch.

“The third year slump is real,” he had told you with a tired laugh from where he rested his head in your lap, his feline eyes reduced to mere slits thanks to the way your fingers moved against his scalp. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to make it through the week, never mind the whole of the school year if I didn’t get to recharge with you like this, so… Let’s make it a thing, yeah?”

And of course your silly, lovesick self was quick to agree.

That had been nearly two months ago now, but the memory plays with stunning clarity in your mind’s eye. In the now, Tetsurou gives your hand a little tug as he urges you to sit beside him. Gentleman that he is, he’s already spread out his jacket to give you a cleaner option for seating—“But of course my lap is always open to you, cutie.”

Your response comes in the form of an eye roll as you gracelessly flop down next to him. “So you wanted to talk, nerd?”

“You’d better be glad I know love you me or else that shit would hurt.”

You can feel your face heat a bit at his words, and you find yourself willing him to go on with a groan of his name.

“My little tsun-tsun,” he laughs as he pokes at one of your cheeks, though the sound is a bit strained. “That’s um, actually why I wanted to talk to you though.

“Okay, so,” he starts after a deep breath. “I… Man, this is harder than I thought– Heh, um. You, erm, you like me, right?”

You blink dumbly at that. “What? Of course I do, we’re best friends–”

“We’re more than that, ____, and you know it.”

“…I do?”

“Well I would hope so—we’ve been dating for almost two months now… Haven’t we?”

His voice loses a bit of its annoyance and all of its surety as he takes in the thorough confusion and extreme shock that are both fighting for dominance in your expression. He stares at you for a long moment and for the first time you find yourself able to hold the hazel of his gaze without any problems, too stunned to drop your eyes as you normally would. Kuroo’s own eyes twitch, followed soon after by the pouting of his mouth and a crinkle of his nose (It’s so cute, why is he so cute??), before the whole of his handsome face contorts itself into a grimace as he allows his head to fall back against the tree’s trunk with a heavy sigh.

“Shit. I cannot believe Kenma was right.”

“…About?”

“This, us—you not knowing…”

“That we’re supposedly dating.”

“Yup.”

He lolls his head towards you then with an unreadable expression. Those sharp, all-seeing eyes rake over your face, clearly searching for something, before he turns back towards the horizon. You try to will him to look at you again with your own probing stare, but he refuses the bait and now it’s your turn to sigh out your frustrations.

“I, uh, yeaaah… Gotta be real with you, Tetsu, I’m pretty much lost here,” you tell him. “When did this even happen? We’ve never been on a date as far as I know—hell, you haven’t even asked me out–”

Apparently that’s enough to finally get him to look at you again.

His indignant sputtering of “I– Wha? Yes I did!” leaves you rolling your eyes as you give back an equally impassioned “When?!”

“Damn near two months ago to the day!” He sits up straight now, leaning towards you in his excitement and damn near looming over you as a result. Were he anyone but who he is to you you’d probably be intimidated by the action, but as it stands you just cock a brow at him as you wait for him to explain himself.

“Remember when we had that really special lunch, and-and I confessed—or at least I thought I did—and you agreed! Did you really not know? Was I not clear enough?”

You try to remember the day in question only to find that it’s the very one you’d been thinking about just minutes before. You quickly run through the whole of your interactions—a thing that’s far too easy to do given how your brain apparently sees fit to catalog and preserve damn near every second that you spend with this boy—in an attempt to figure out when exactly he confessed, though nothing there screams ‘I like you, please be mine’.

In fact the only thing that really stands out is– Wait.

“Keep being my partner in crime?” “Yeah, Tetsu, of course—always.”

“That was you confessing?”

“Well, yeah…”

His voice has gone sheepish in a way that you’re not used to hearing from him—in fact the whole of his countenance is shot through with nerves, and were you not so caught up in your own incredulity you would’ve thoroughly enjoyed not being the one on their back foot for once. But as it stands you just drop your head down into your palms with a groaned out laugh.

“So all those study dates–?”

“Actual dates, yeah. I wanted to take you out to do something a bit more romantic, but with midterms coming up and things with our clubs piling on—well, I couldn’t let our grades suffer, yanno?”

You nod a bit at that. Putting grades before fun is very much a Tetsurou Kuroo thing. “And Wednesdays–”

“Our standing lunch dates.”

“Guess this also explains why you’ve gotten even more annoying about my sleep schedule and eating habits.”

“Well I gotta make sure my baby stays healthy! You’re always forgetting to eat, and it only gets worse when you’re stressed,” he reminds you. “And honestly even if we weren’t a thing, your hydration levels and sleeping habits are still atrocious.”

Well, he’s got you there.

“And the flirting?”

“That’s always been real, from the very start,” he admits. “I’ve kinda had a thing for you from day one.”

His words are equal parts validating and exciting, and the heady mixture leaves you spinning, just a bit, as you mutter out a quiet, “I, um, same.”

His lips pull off into that smirk that you love to hate as he teasingly nudges your arm. “Figured as much. I mean, it’s not like you’re out here making bentos and fetching forgotten water bottles and cheering yourself into laryngitis for just anybody.”

Way to make me sound like a Stage 3 Simp. (Not that you’re not, mind, but still.) Aloud, “That was one time, and it wasn’t my fault—that match was intense!” you grumble with a laugh. “But no, no I’m not. Just like you’re not out here taking extra notes and incessantly flirting and making dates that aren’t dates with just anybody.”

“No,” he parrots with a grin, “no I am not.”

The pair of you fall silent for a beat before the ridiculousness of the situation hits you in full. You cling to one another helplessly as you laugh—long, loud, and hard—before settling into your shared embrace. It should feel a bit odd, you think, being cuddled up with him like this. Despite how close the pair of you are, Tetsurou’s always been very respectful about the way he touches you. Was what you had assumed to be his way of keeping things platonic actually his not wanting to potentially give away his secret before he was ready to?

Yeah, probably, you silently decide when he presses you in more closely to his side with a contented sigh.

“I kinda feel like I should apologize,” you tell him once you’ve settle more fully into his embrace.

He stirs a bit at that, golden eyes finding yours as he lets out a confused hum. “Why?”

“Because I must’ve seemed like the world’s worst partner,” you reply, laughing a bit.

“Ah. Yeah, well…” He shrugs before leaning his head against yours. “I honestly thought that you were maybe regretting saying yes. You didn’t really act any differently—not that I was expecting a huge change considering how close we already are, but… I dunno, you just didn’t seem interested in getting to know me on that level. And you never initiated anything, uh, physical. Not that I was expecting anything like, yanno, that!” he quickly amends. “It’s just, I thought you’d at least want to hold my hand or something, but… It had me wondering if maybe I just didn’t do it for you, you know… looks-wise.”

You have to choke out a laugh at that. Tetsurou Kuroo is unfairly handsome and he damn well knows it, has even used it to his advantage on occasion—the time that he charmed a free scone out of that barista when he was too broke to actually buy himself one comes to mind, and that’s saying nothing of the fact that he’s never paid a late fee at the library, despite the fact that he never turns his books in on time—so to see him doubt this is absolutely unreal, and not in a good way. Not liking the feelings fueling the unsure quality of his voice, or the way it all makes your heart seize, you steel yourself to say something you know you probably—no, definitely—will get teased for later (and by ‘later’ you mean less than a minute after you say it).

“I’m only gonna say this once if for no other reason than I don’t need your ego getting any bigger than it already is, but… You are very much so my type, looks and all, so yeah. That’s uh, that’s out there now, so no doubts, okay?”

The same intense flush that you can feel heating the whole of your face spreads across the planes of his own to stain his cheeks with rosedust as you speak, but this sweet display doesn’t last for long, unsurprisingly. The shy smile that he’d been giving you at first slowly sharpens until it’s a full on shit-eating grin.

“‘Very much so your type’, huh? Prove it then.”

Oh no. You know that tone. He’s about to say something that’s gonna leave you wanting to dome him while somehow simultaneously dissolving into the ether.

You don’t want to ask, probably shouldn’t for the sake of your sanity, but—“…How?”

“Kiss me.”

Yup, there it is.

His expression’s so fucking smug that you don’t want to give in on principle, but goddamn if he doesn’t wear the look well…

As you continue to weigh the pros against the cons of conceding, Tetsurou’s confidence begins to falter again, with his smirk drooping as he rubs nervously at the back of his neck. “Hey, look, if you don’t want to, that’s cool! I was mostly joking anyways, like at least ninety-seven percent jo–”

You cut off the rest of the sentence with a press of your lips to his cheek. “No doubts, remember?” you gently chide as you urge him to turn his head towards you fully.

“No doubts,” he repeats, nodding a bit dumbly as if he hadn’t actually expected you to act. He smiles then, soft and sweet, as he leans in closer. His nose brushes alongside yours once, twice, and then he’s finally kissing you properly.

That first press of his lips is a tentative thing, so much so that it would almost seem teasing if it wasn’t so obvious that he was nervous. But nerves soon turn into excitement, desperation, action. You know for a fact that you’re not the first person that Tetsurou’s ever kissed, and it shows in this moment. His hands cradle you expertly, guiding your head and the rest of your body as needed until you’re kissing one another as if you were created for no other purpose.

Once you’re finally forced to part you find that he’s maneuvered you onto his lap and isn’t at all keen on letting you go—not that you really want to move, of course, though the positioning does leave you ducking your head down a bit in embarrassment. And with your boyfriend (of two months now, apparently) being who he is, he cannot help but to pick with you a bit.

“Tetsu, baby, stoooop,” you half laugh, half groan somewhere in the middle of one of his quips.

His grin is sharp and directly at odds with the way his eyes soften into something gooey and sweet as he looks you over. “Oh, so I’m your ‘baby’ now, huh?”

“Tetsurou…”

“What? I’m not mad at it at all, it’s just… nice. I, uhh, like it, yanno? Makes all of this feel real, like you’re just as into me as I am you.”

“Tetsu, I–”

“No, it’s fine,” he tells you with a shake of his head. “Well it’s not fine fine, but it’s fine.”

“I’m so glad you cleared that up,” you reply with a snort of laughter. “But seriously though—I am sorry. Had I known we were actually dating things would’ve been different, I would’ve been different.”

“Well you’re definitely good enough to me on the platonic side of things that I wasn’t completely left wanting, but I guess relationships make me greedy. I wanted all of that and this. To be honest, I…” He pauses then, uncharacteristically shy as his fingers trail down the lengths of your arms to tangle with your own before continuing on. “I want everything with you, ____.”

The admission leaves your cheeks burning, but you don’t dare look away—not now, not when he’s being so vulnerable with you and impossibly sweet. Your quiet reply of “Same” leaves you both smiling, albeit in two totally different ways.

His replying grin is heart stopping, truly, striking that balance between cute and cocky as effortlessly as ever. You cannot help but to be drawn in by it, your lips grazing over his as you say something about making up for lost time.

“Mmm, yeah, definitely, buuuut–! Looks like classes are about to start up again.”

You chance a glance over your shoulder where your fellow students are indeed preparing to head back inside and the sight leaves you sighing. “We could just ditch you know–”

“____!”

“Don’t say my name like that,” you laugh, “you sound like some old, pearl-clutching auntie!”

“Rude. I do not–”

“Oh you totally do! What happened to being partners in crime, huh?”

Your digging tease leaves him huffing out a laugh. “Conning a barista out of various pastries is one thing, but skipping class is another beast entirely. That shit can really impact your future.”

“And petty crimes won’t?”

“Not if you don’t get caught.”

“The same could be said for ditching.”

“Yeah, but–”

The pair of you continue on this way as you head back towards the main building, hand-in-hand—an old, familiar act made all the more precious by what you now know.

Volleyball Kiss 🍃 No Doubts (Remember) || WC: 1.1k~

One last CW for talk of the strains and pressures of Kuroo’s home life. Again, I don’t go super into detail, but I do make it clear that all of that as well as the general stressors that come with being the team’s captain as well as a third year (fuck those scholarship/college entry essays, amirite?) are getting to him. But luckily for him, he’s got his lovely little partner to help pull him out of his head.

“Can’t sleep?”

The question shocks Tetsurou if for no other reason than he was sure that everyone else had already fallen asleep, desperate to catch up on the rest that nerves had robbed them of the night prior. It may only be a half hour from their school to the stadium, but every bit of energy that they can acquire, no matter how seemingly minuscule, really will count down the line. The chorus of light snores are cut through by the occasional cough or dull th-thunk-ing of the bus rattling over something in the road; an odd lullaby to be sure, but one that three years’ worth of away games have taught him to appreciate.

Under normal circumstance the familiar refrain would’ve seen him drifting off along with everyone else, but his mind refuses to turn off this morning. His thoughts have been rapidly oscillating between various plays, the breakdown of rival teams’ structures, the welfare of his own teammates, and eventualities that he has no real way of evaluating or controlling. It’s an endless, near vicious loop that he’s yet to find a means of escaping in (relatively) quiet moments such as these, and so he’s resigned himself to suffer until an adequate distraction presents itself.

In truth he’s been mentally running himself ragged for the past week, with his anxieties reaching a resounding crescendo the moment he stepped onto the school grounds just a little while ago. If it were just the tournament he could probably deal, but it’s not just the tournament. It’s the tournament and the half dozen-plus entry essays that are sitting on his hard drive in various states of completion and the school year that he needs to survive with his GPA intact for those things to even have use and his mother who’s already exhibiting symptoms of empty nest syndrome despite the fact that he’s still here and Hitomi visits at least once a week (never mind that neither of them has actually lived with her in over a decade).

Dozens upon dozens of responsibilities and obligations of varying import have finally complied enough to reach critical mass, and the resulting internal meltdown is a thing that he’s been determined to weather alone.

Because Tetsurou Kuroo does not share his burdens, he bears them—resolutely and without complaint.

This is why he’d been all smiles and encouraging words and back slaps and everything else his teammates expected of him when he arrived this morning. He could do no less, be no less, not when they looked to him for stability. He’s sure that Kenma, Yaku, and Kai had seen right through his façade—never mind your knowing frown—but you all had been wise (not to mention kind) enough to keep your observations behind your teeth. After all, it wouldn’t do for the others to find out their seemingly unflappable captain’s just as capable of harboring doubts as the rest of them.

His kohai setter might be the brains, but Kuroo’s role runs deeper in some ways. He’s in the team’s very cells, the nucleus that gives direction, brings structure. To allow his misgivings to visibly manifest themselves would be extremely selfish, in his opinion, especially when he knows the worst of them will fall away once he’s on the court.

And so he sits here in the still and silent of a too early hour on a dreary January morning, nursing his thoughts with eyes pinched shut and mouth set in a hard line. Sleep is not a thing he’ll be entertaining anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be.

“I can hear you thinking,” you say, answering the question of why you too are awake before he’s forced to ask. “I would ask you what is it that’s got you so wound up, but that’d be kinda silly, huh?”

He pushes out a huff of air through his nose at that, as much of a laugh as he can muster at the moment. When you squeeze at the hand that has been firmly in yours since you’d both settled in, he knows that it’s a silent call for him to unburden himself, and yet he hesitates. It’s not that he doesn’t want to confide in you—well, okay, that’s a lie. He’s never been one to share his fears easily, never wanted to risk making himself a nuisance to those closest to him (to risk having yet another person he cares deeply about leave him behind because his needs extended beyond the extent of their capacity to care).

But if knowing you—loving you and being loved in turn—has taught him anything is that when someone truly cares for you they’ll be there, however and wherever you need them, for as long as you need them. So long as he’s brave enough to make the jump he knows you’ll be there to catch him on the way down.

Still, he doesn’t open his eyes, not yet, settling instead for a shrug that he’s sure you feel more than see as he’s careful not to displace you from where you’re leaning heavily into his side. Though the reply is hardly one at all, you’ve long since learned to speak Tetsurou Kuroo fluently.

“Worried?”

“Mm.” (Though it pains me to admit it, yes, yes I am.)

Your thumb follows the length of his own in slow, steady strokes as you tell him, “Don’t be.”

“Hmm…” (Easy for you to say, sweetheart. You’re not the one that’s gotta get out there and preform.)

“You guys have been training hard, yeah? Have done everything you can to prepare?”

“Mhm.” (You know we did, you were there.)

“Then there’s nothing else for it. Trust in your team, trust in your training, trust in yourself. You got this, babe.”

The feeling of your shifting is the thing that finally sees his eyes opening. Overcast skies have turned the whole of the horizon into a uniform sheet of white-grey and he finds himself blinking hard against the muted brightness. When his inner lenses finally decide to play nice and focus you’re smiling that perfect little smile of yours—the one that you save just for him, and grace him with liberally. He mirrors the sentiment, slow and easy, as he allows his forehead to come down to rest against yours.

“Remember—no doubts.”

Those words have been a mainstay in your relationship since you’d uttered them all those months ago, and the callback works as well as it ever does. His smile softens down into something sweet, private—an expression saved solely for you, one that he knows you think is just as perfect as the one you’re giving him—before falling away under a chaste press of lips.

“No doubts,” he echoes, voice decisive and heart steadier than it has been in a long while.

One Hundredth Kiss 🍃 Questionable Decisions that Bear Repeating || WC: 900~

CW for one use of ‘kitten’ as an endearment (Reader receiving). Also more mentions of Kuroo’s jacked up home life. His parents’ divorce (and the resulting emotional fallout) really did a number on him, and while he’s determined to rise above it all he’d be lying if he said it doesn’t still get him inside his head from time to time. Luckily for him he’s got a sweet, loving, and supportive partner that’s more than willing to help ease his thoughts and fears…

“Looks like you got the first problem wrong, and if you used this formula for the subsequent ones—and I’m guessing you did—then that means they’re all wrong too.”

You stare blankly at the essay before you, the words that you’re supposed to be scrutinizing for the sake of your boyfriend’s GPA dropping out of focus until they coalesce into a formless, graphite hued blob. Biting down on the dread that’s attempting to claw its way up from your stomach to settle inside your chest, you blink hard a few times and take one deep, steadying breath before slowly looking down past your knees to the man that sits with your legs in his lap. A too small bed in an equally small room makes the positioning more of a concession than a comfort in the same way that your calling what Tetsurou is doing ‘sitting’ is being extremely generous. In truth your boyfriend is one of the worst manspreaders that you’ve ever met, though in his defense his stature doesn’t really allow for him to not sprawl.

Still, he’s taking up a good chunk of real estate in your dorm, with his long ass legs stretching over the side of the mattress and far beyond, to the point where his feet are nearly under your desk. As for the rest of him—his back’s slouched against the wall at what has to be an uncomfortable angle while the hand that isn’t holding your (apparently very much wrong) calculus homework busies itself with rubbing a soothing pattern against your calf. It would be more effective, you’re sure, if it wasn’t accompanied by a golden gaze shuddered with pity.

“That… cannot be right. I spent so long on those problems, Tetsu!”

“I know, baby.”

“And I triple checked to make sure I was using the right formula because I knew I kept getting them mixed up–”

“I know–”

“I even had you check for me! So how—fucking how—is this even possible?” You pause again as another thought suddenly takes you. “Tetsurou Kuroo. If you’re trolling me right now, on god…”

He holds your stare (glare) for a beat, then two before his mouth starts to twitch with the beginnings of a laugh. When you growl out his name the dam bursts leaving him cackling like a hyena as he doubles over.

You pull your legs up towards yourself as you tell him, “You’re the absolute worst, you know that?” When he only laughs harder you nudge him just as hard with your feet in a bid to push him out of your bed. It doesn’t work, of course, he’s built way too sturdily for that, but the sentiment is there at least. “Ugh, I swear I cannot stand your childish ass! You stay on some bullshit…”

“Oya?”

“Oh no—we are not starting that mess. Get out, I don’t want to look at your stupid face anymore–”

He snorts at that. “Oh so now my face is stupid, huh?”

“Yup,” you’re quick to reply, popping the ‘P’, “and your hair is worse. Ol’ chemistry rooster looking headass. ‘What is a comb?’ headass. All the gel in the world can’t do nothing for all these damn cowlicks headass–”

Your next quip devolves into a squawk followed by peals of laughter as your man quickly pulls you down the length of the bed so that he can cage you in. Retribution comes in the form of a flurry of kisses that are interspersed with the odd nip to your vulnerable neck and collarbones; all the while you’re left to laugh wildly as you try to fend off his attack. It’s only when your giggles turn into something more breathless and wanting that he decides that you’ve been properly chastened. He kisses his way up your neck and over your jaw, stopping just shy of letting his lips brush against your eager mouth.

“If I’m all that, kitten, then why do you love me so much, hmm?”

“Because I make questionable life decisions, obviously.” A coquettish air replaces the snark that would usually color such a retort, with your voice wrapping around the words in a sinuous purr instead.

He hums at that, his lips slurring along your skin until he’s able to breathe his reply directly into your ear. “In that case, wanna make another one—or several—with me right now?”

“Oh hell yes…”

“Well somebody’s eager. No second thoughts, questions, concerns… Doubts…?” Though his tone is equal parts playful and teasing, there’s something buried in the heart of it—of him—that harbors doubts of its own.

It’s that same part that leaves him clenching desperately at you on days when childhood memories try and convince him that love is transient and that vows are made to be broken– That part that has him begging you to be that one defiance to everything he knows and stay on nights when he thinks you to be soundly asleep– That part that drives him to do better by you than what he’s been shown, and to be the kind of man that can be trusted to guard your heart.

That level of passion, devotion, love can only ever be met in kind. This is why you do not hesitate to drop all pretenses– Why you pull him flush against you—body to body, heart against heart– Why you pour all of your sincerity into one simple promise, words that have become a well-loved refrain–

“No doubts—not now, not ever.”

–and seal it all with a sweet, lingering kiss.

Forever Kiss 🍃 It’s too Late to Catch Me (Because I’ve Already Fallen for You) || WC: 700~

“Still falling for me, even after all these years, huh?” Admittedly it’s not his best line, but Tetsurou figures he can be cut some slack given the fact that the person he loves more than anything almost lost their life to their own clumsy feet.

Okay, so he might be being a bit dramatic here—your fall probably would’ve only netted you a bruise at most—but having spent the better part of a year babysitting the well-meaning, but ultimately chaotic disaster humans that made up his old VBC has taught him to expect the worst from even the most minor of instances. But the what if’s are all immaterial in the end, he supposes, since they were not. He was there to catch you (albeit unwittingly, you’d kinda just fell into his chest as he was coming through the door) and your knees are safe and contusion free, so what more could either of you ask for?

Perhaps a lack of cheesy and ill-timed pick-up lines, if your unimpressed stare is anything to go by, but hey—you knew what you were signing up for from jump.

Though your face screws itself up into something thoroughly annoyed, for Tetsurou that has always translated as ridiculously adorable, so by his estimation it really shouldn’t surprise you that your expression does not garner the desired reaction.

His smirk is as unrepentant as ever as he pulls you more firmly against himself to press kiss after overly loud kiss across the breadth of your cheeks, only daring to capture your lips once their pout parts around reluctant burbles of laughter. It only takes a few pecks before you’re both in need of more, but he refuses to be the one to break. Holding on to his resolve when you’re whining so prettily for him—feeble hands curling into the fabric of his shirt and his name falling from your lips in a plea as you look up at him with those doe-like eyes—is a nearly impossible feat, but he manages if only just.

He tells you to use your words, but you decide that actions would serve you both better and honestly he couldn’t agree more. He bends easily under your insistent tugs, yielding control of the kiss readily only to snatch it back the moment you think you’ve gained some ground. When a need for oxygen forces you to part some long seconds later he’s pleased to see you thoroughly flustered and damn near drunk on his affections.

Gods, they’re always so beautiful, but seeing them like this? Breathtaking, truly… Though the thought is an overly sweet one, by the time it makes it out of his mouth, well…

“Gods, you’re so into me—simp.”

You scoff at that. “Says the man who’s still trying to win me over with dry ass pickup lines after damn near a decade of being together.”

“But did it work though?”

When you don’t bother with a reply beyond an exasperated roll of your eyes he counts it as a success. And said success, he decides, deserves a reward in the form of claiming your lips once again.

You don’t resist him despite the cut of your glance, with that soon falling away under the fluttering of lids. Tetsurou eyes follow suit with a soft exhale as he revels in the sweetness of the kiss. There is nothing demanding about the ministration, only the gentle give and take, the beauty that comes with intimate repetition.

When the pair of you part this time it’s with a soft sigh, but you don’t go far. Foreheads brace against one another as breaths are shared and heartbeats sync. The silence that follows is a comfortable one that the man is reluctant to break, and yet he feels compelled to speak just the same, to reassure you of his love just as you’ve done for him so many times throughout the years.

“I know I’m not the most conventional when it comes to showing it, but– I love you, ____. Far more than what you’ll probably ever know, honestly.”

His words leave your eyes syruping with emotion as you match his stare and devotion both. “You drive me crazy more often than not, but I really do love you for it. I love you, Tetsu. Always…”

“I know, baby, I know—and I never doubted it, not even for a second.”

Taglist (open to 18+ users ONLY): @therescrackinmytea​ ((sorry for the random tag, but I saw you were feeling a bit meh and I thought that this might cheer you up some))

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2022 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[pensoluv]

SAGAO AU Work 17, Comfort food for bad days

Tw: depression, but with healthy coping mechanisms

@is-very-sad read this when you’re feeling down okay? Was planning of posting early but things got in the way… Hope y’all like this! <3

Also, this is technically the 15th post, but I planned to have two other posts for Consort!Venti, so this is named the 17th for convenience.

Your acolytes have waken up and are tending to your room, as the first rays of early sunshine lit up your bedroom.

But even with their enthusiasm, your mind still wasn’t clearing yet. Your body still felt like bags of lead, making it difficult to physically inch away from the bed.

The upbeat ones, oblivious to your condition, kept on persuading you to go around Teyvat as its rightful creator. You only give them faint smiles and weakly decline.

Focus on breathing in, then out. In… then out… You’re alive. They care. So why are you still stuck in the all-too-familiar spiral of sadness?

Days, weeks and months go by. Even those who were trying to ignore the possibility that you’re not physically sick have come to accept the fact that what you need aren’t first aid healers. The sensitive ones didn’t have to do much prodding to find out why, but it took a long while to make them believe the truth.

Afterall, even an almighty Creator needs help, deserves help, deserves respect and care and support.

Your cult starts dividing work to each other, in order to care for you efficiently.

The healers give you regular physical check-ups, to check if you had perhaps hurt yourself on the surface. Kokomi and Qiqi tend to any of your physical ailments easily. As for Barbara, she does more than that.

Barbara would quietly take time to know more about how you’re feeling, as she gently baths you and further inspects your overall well-being. She has a silver of understanding the depression you have, hers not as severe of course, but enough for her to know it’s the reason for your executive dysfunction. It explains the lack of energy for self-care. Noelle, and someone trustworthy of your gender who’s strong enough, would gingerly hoist you onto their backs, then carry you into the bathtub with your consent.

Xiangling would receive notes from individuals whom you’ve been spending time with, then deduce what comfort foods to prepare. As well as finding out what foods you prefer to avoid, for either preferences or for mental triggers.

Zhongli offers you distraction with his stories. Granted, he tends to accidentally speak of something traumatic without knowing so, or speaking in ways that unintentionally make you feel worse. He thus finds Childe or Kaeya to help him monitor and steer the conversation to the better side. Zhongli is that one grandpa who tries, although not fully knowing how to act accordingly. He’d make geo construct toys and trinkets, then pass it to Klee, to be played with you. Childe is trying to make hydro ones for his sibling to no avail.

Amber and Diona would bring you out hunting if you wish to breathe in the fresh air and be eased by Teyvat’s nature.

As for Aloy (your newest addition, similar to the Travelers), she would offer witty remarks as you two roam the lands, and protect you from mechanical arrays as you enjoy the views of Inazuma. Raiden will control the thunder as to not affect where you go, as Venti sends gentle winds to enhance your relaxation and comfort.

Ningguang and Keqing are responsible for shopping for garments whenever you need new ones. You notice pretty clothes popping up in your growing wardrobe, often like rewards for making an effort to get better.

Jean makes you coffee if you personally like the beverage. Lisa would provide tea if you so prefer otherwise, while Diona suggests fresh milk that the Travelers purchases every morning. Diluc stops Kaeya, Venti, and Zhongli from giving you wine, lest you develop any reliance on alcohol.

Rosaria and the Travelers do any commissions or boss looting for you. Amber joins them in clearing camps of select monsters who loathe you. You request for them to leave the other nice beings alone, and they comply. Sayu might have kidnapped a slime to bring home to you secretly.

Sara keeps you company, and keeps Itto away whenever he tries to spar with you two when you’re mentally drained. Itto would let you snuggle in his boob muscles to raise your morale. Especially if he realises he didn’t get the note of you not feeling okay previously.

Ayaka studies the blade and her dances/artistry, so she can perform for you even if you feel unwell. You’ve persuaded her to not wear socks and step into the waters. She’s glad to see you brighten up a bit when she stopped doing that. Ganyu performs with her with her ice lotus decorations.

Xiao silently slips you things you need when you’re not looking. He told you this beforehand so you won’t get spooked. Since he’s told you, it’s more wholesome than creepy. Poor anemo yaksha has no idea how to help, and has to stay away, because he thinks it’s his karmic debt weighting you down.

The other citizens are more gentle and even more respectful of you. For you to stay strong and look happy for them, means a lot to them. They try to stop whoever is being unruly in your presence, and the general atmosphere becomes more friendly. The bustles are still here, and it comforts you by giving you arrays of distractions. Sometimes kids run up to you holding a fresh wildflower in their little fists, and you kneel to let them stick it on your hair or your clothing. The parents are more than happy that you like their kids, and that their kid has done well in pleasing you.

Baizhu and Sumeruans study to find ways to lessen your mental burden. Even if you have bad days, their kindness has lightened your moods, and you will adore them as they adore you.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 12 & 13 | March 14th – March 27th

Welcome to weeks 12 & 13 of my recommendations, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #VelvetCardiganBucky, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

✨Page breaks are made @firefly-graphics✨

«Last Week

Week 14»

My Masterlist

My Fic Rec List of Mafia/Mob Bucky/Sebastian & Steve/Chris/Andy

Stuff I Posted This Week:

Steve + Bey = 4Ever » Steve Rogers and Bey carved places in each other’s hearts, that no one else could ever replace.

I Hear A Symphony » Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader — Reader plays an important song to her for Bucky.

—Formerly The Winter Soldier » “I’m no longer the winter soldier, my name is James Bucky Barnes & you're part of my effort to make amends.”

Lee Bodecker

(Mini) Series:

*Give In by @not-a-great-writer » soft!dark!Lee Bodecker x shy!Reader — She didn’t think she was anything special. So when the intimidating Sheriff takes an interest in her, she can’t help but feel a little unsettled. Her boring life is about to get a little interesting. | This story has to be one of my all time series I’ve ever read, and I know I will weep when it’s over. The chapters are decently sized, you have angst, fluff and smut. I couldn’t ask for more, it’s simply a masterpiece.

Deadbeat Pt. 9 by @the-witty-pen-name » Lee Bodecker x F!Reader — You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room. | Cole thank you for feeding my current Lee Bodecker obsession after I watched The Devil All The Time, for the time. This story is good and I love soft!Lee, and one where no one dies. At least I hope no one dies...

SamBucky

One-Shots:

Loving You Is Cherry Pie by @river-soul » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — When Sam Wilson, one of your regulars at the cafe finally asks you out, you’re ecstatic until he tells you he wants his friend to join. When you meet Bucky, you decide it might be worth your while after all. [Allusions to stalking, exhibitionism and explicit sex, 18+] | There is just not enough SamBuck stories out there and we have @river-soul to thank for feeding our love for the boys and giving us some good smut, especially to tide us over till Friday.

Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM by @callmeluna » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — You are admittedly a handful when you’ve had a few drinks in you. Luckily, your partners Sam and Bucky are more than up for the challenge… maybe. | If you are looking for something to make you laugh, might I suggest reading this? The whole time as I read this I couldn’t get the huge smile off my face, it was that good.

Bucky Barnes

Drabbles:

Matching by @heli0s-writes » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader and Bucky are “matchy matchy,” with their belly button rings. | This is adorable as well as very funny.

One-Shots:

Smooth Criminal by @bestofbucky » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Based on a dream @velvetcardiganbucky had. You’re parents told you to never give rides to strangers, but when you notice Bucky Barnes trying to break into your car, you know some strangers aren’t so bad. | Jenny did my dream justice! I honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Don’t Over Do It by @whisperlullaby » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your boyfriend is an asshole. Bucky reminds you that you are perfect the way you are. | I can’t describe this anyway other than perfect, that I wish I had a Bucky like this there for me. Trust me you’ll love the ending.

Coming Home to You by @angrythingstarlight » Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your Biker boyfriend is finally home and he’s going to show you how much he missed you. With every inch he has. And you’re going to remember how much he loves you. | It’s not very often you read something that has an alternate ending and when you do you find yourself loving both endings. Both endings are hot, the smut is great, again who couldn’t love Biker!Bucky?

Won’t Let You Go by @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay » Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Kori — Kori met Bucky in one of his clubs, out to get shit-faced with a couple of friends to forget about her worries and maybe take home a guy to further rid herself of her numerous frustrations. Little did she know that the one-night stand with Bucky would turn into so much more than that. | Thank you so much for entering my writing challenge, it means so much. This one-shot is so good, it hit me right the feels and left me falling in love with Kori and Bucky.

Show Me How To Ride by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — You’ve been keeping a secret from your biker boyfriend. He is going to get the information out of you one way or the other. | It’s hot and it makes you realize just how much you realize just how much you love Biker!Bucky.

Bubble Baths by @floatingpetals » Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU) — Even your boyfriend Bucky, needs to wind down at the end of a stressful with a bubble bath, but he doesn’t want to do it alone. | Okay, so my summary of this sucks but let me just say this is fluffy and smutty all at once. I wish I had Bucky to take a bubbly bath with.

Bad Boy!Bucky Barnes x Shy!Reader by @gagmebucky — in which there’s nowhere to sit and bucky offers his lap—then, subsequently, his cock. (bad boy!bucky x shy!reader, dirty talk, exhibitionism and voyeurism, cockwarming, unprotected sex.) | *chugs water* yeah is it a little hot in here? I probably would have failed class if Bucky had been in my class along with Steve, I wouldn’t have known who to stare at, forget learning the material.

**Greater Good by @fuel-joy » Bucky Barnes x Reader — There is a cure for the zombie outbreak but is it worth the cost. | Grab your tissues, because you are going to need them. Thanks darling for entering my writing challenge and making me feel so many feels with this one.

(Mini) Series:

A Tender Heart ♥️ Pt. 2 by @river-soul » Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader — You’ve been sweet on Bucky since you started working at the compound six months ago. Normally quiet and mild mannered, an unexpired fight with a coworker brings Bucky into your orbit. [A/B/O dynamics, brief mention of bullying and fluff] | If anyone can pull at your heartstrings it’s @river-soul making the beginning of this series look so promising and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

Run To You 🪙 Pt. 10 🪙 Pt. 11 🪙 Pt. 12 by @bestofbucky » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Bodyguard!Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. | Jenny left me at the edge of my seat, making this such an amazing story, I always look forward to her updates, and so sad that there is only 1 chapter left.

Better than Working sequel to This by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Beefy Biker Bucky shows you all the benefits of working from home. In fact what he has for you is so much better than work. | Sometimes you just need to read something hot to lift your spirits, let this do that.

Stucky

One-Shots:

*Tell Me What You Want by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve Rogers x Reader; Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mob boyfriend, is none other than Steve Rogers and he is willing to get you whatever you wanted, all you have to do is ask. And be careful what you ask for because he’s going to give it to you over and over again. | This is so hot that I highly recommend not reading this anywhere out in public. The smut in this is just *chefs kiss*

(Mini) Series:

Miracle Pt. 2 🥀 Pt. 1 by @heavenhatesme » Soft!Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader; Soft!Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When infertility threatens mankind with extinction and there hasn’t been a baby for almost 18 years, what happens when two certain super soldiers fall for the same woman and accidentally impregnate her? | It’s not tagged as dark, sorry to the writer I tagged it that please forgive me? But I just want to tell everyone heed the tags. I do look forward to reading what happens next. The smut in this is great!

Invisible Ink by @navybrat817 » Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers — The owners of the Howling Commandos Tattoo Parlor want to make you their best girl. | I love the idea of tattoo’d Bucky and Steve, but that's because I have a weakness for tattoo’s. So this series is just right up my alley, and the start of it is so good that I know it’s good to be a great one!

Steve Rogers

Drabbles:

Chocolate Milk & Dino Nuggets by @nony-bear » Steve Rogers x Reader — Daddy Steve helps make his little girl feel better after a long week. DDLG THEMES | Had me wishing I had a Steve to make me Dino nuggets after a long day at work. It’s precious folks.

Prompt 4K Drabble Challenge by @sweeterthanthis » Steve Rogers x Reader — “Show me how deep you can take it.” | You’re going to need an ice cold bath after this one.

One-Shots:

A Cruel Tide by @writerwrites » Nomad!Steve Rogers x Reader — A lost hero thinks she needs saving, but this divorcée’s needs were different, fleeting, and then full of attachment. Can they overcome the burdens on their shoulders and keep their word? | Sometimes you want to wrap the reader and Steve in a blanket and protect them while enjoying the smut. This gave me that and more.

Untitled Request by @navybrat817 » Steve Rogers x Reader — Sending Steve a naughty photo while he’s in a meeting leads to punishment that will remind you to never do it again, right? | Hi, I’m just going to drench myself in ice cold water. ✌🏻

(Mini) Series:

*Control Pt. 3 🔐 Pt. 1 🔐 Pt. 2 by @river-soul » dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When a probationary agent asks you out on a date you learn Steve’s intentions for you have evolved. He doesn’t take kindly to someone touching what’s his. [Noncon, physical violence (biting), grooming behavior and explicit sex, 18+] | Definitely one of my favorite series to read on Tumblr so far, you know it’s dark, and the smut is great. I always look forward to the updates on this one.

*Lipstick and Crayons 🖍 Ch. 4 by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob. | This story always gets my heart a racing and leaves you with questions as to what is going to happen next. I truly love it and Soft!Dad while being Angry!Mob boss Steve all at the same time, this story just has it all for me.

This Is My Unbecoming by @river-soul » Werewolf!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader — When the Hydra pack graduates from turning humans to swell their ranks to kidnapping and murdering witches to consolidate power, Steve knows he needs to strike. He makes a deal with a powerful coven leader for a witch of his own in exchange for destroying the rogue pack. [Magical realism, biting, blood, slightly dubious consent and explicit sex, 18+] | Okay this is so good and I would like to thank the teenage mind of @river-soul for creating this! Like seriously thank you. I look forward to reading more!

It’s been a long, long time ☕️ Ch.1 by @mostly-marvel-musings » Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve Rogers – a man who has lost too much finds himself blending into the crowd in attempts to forget his past but revisits familiar places and spends days sketching his heart out. A rainy evening leads him to find shelter in your coffee shop. Is having meaningful conversations over endless cups of coffee with a stranger the key to unlocking a heart that’s lost the will to love? | The prologue tore my heart out, it truly did but the first chapter just puts the pieces back together. I really love this and I’m honestly looking forward to reading what happens next. I can’t thank you enough for entering my writing challenge!

*Not A Team Part: 1 by @shedobewritingalittle » Steve Rogers x Reader — The Reader tries to live a normal life, but her memories won’t leave her alone. Rhodey comes to visit the reader with a proposition. | There aren't a lot of stories out there that have walk on parts with Rhodey in it and I didn’t know how much I missed out on having him in stories till I read this. This was just so well written and the characterization of Rhodey was perfect, how Peyton got the emotions written across, it’s perfect. Read this and have some tissues on hand. I will always love it.

Andy Barber

One-Shots:

Closing Arguments by @river-soul » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy and you are going out for the first time since your daughter’s birth. Anxious about leaving her behind Andy does his best to make you feel better. [Fluff with explicit sex (f recieving), 18+] | So fluffy and sweet!

Keep the Heat by @ozarkthedog » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy fucks you in the coat. | Semi-Short and the smut is oh so good.

(Mini) Series:

Homebound 🏡 Ch. 1 by @fuel-joy » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — You witness your neighbor kill his wife. You try to gather evidence all from the comfort of your home. | Prepare to be at the edge of your seat with this one, it’s just that good.

One Night by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — One night changes your entire life. | This is dark and exciting, with tons of angst in it. I love a real good dark!Andy fic and this is it.

Chris Evans

One-Shots:

Mirrors by @cherrychris » Chris Evans x Reader — “wanna know what i see? me owning you and this sweet little pussy” | Sometimes you read things that just blow your mind and this was one of those things.

*Work Party by @harrylovex » Chris Evans x Reader — you get drunk at a work party and chris looks after you… | This is really adorable and probably one of my favorite fluffy Chris Evans one-shots I’ve ever read.

Misc.

One-Shots:

An Act of Kindness by @stargazingfangirl18 » Jake Jensen x Female!Reader — A simple act of kindness seals your fate. | I would like to simply start of by saying that this was my first Jake Jensen fanfiction in years, or maybe my first one, and all I could was where have I been hiding from him? So good and glad I read this and so will you!

*Come Back Safe by @celestialbarnes » Sam Wilson x Reader — based on tfatws, you find out sam’s leaving for a mission, afraid to lose the man you love, you confront him, and he promises you to come back. | So fluffy you’ll want to cuddle it under a blanket fort and wish under a thousand starry night skies for it to come true.

(Mini) Series:

Fiery Friends Pt. 3 🔥 Pt. 4 by @wanderinglunarnights » Johnny Storm x OFC!Sophia Jones — Johnny invites his best friend Sophia to stay with him in his penthouse during quarantine. | I really like this story, because I find myself mentally rooting for Sophia and Johnny, also going you go girl. Looking forward to what is next for this duo.

Ensnared Pt. 2 🔗 Pt. 1 by @stargazingfangirl18 » Ransom Drysdale x Female!Reader; minor Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x Reader — Robert preps you for the handoff to the smooth talking stranger who bought you, but before he lets you go, he wants to have a little fun first. | So good and hot. Honestly I look forward to hopefully finding out what happens between the reader and Ransom.

Made With Love by @ayybtch » Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader + Friends to Lovers — Wanda is an excellent cook but a terrible baker. A rough day leads her to the bakery in the Avengers compound where she meets you, the lead baker. After a dismal attempt at making chocolate chip cookies, you volunteer to help Wanda learn how to bake. Your friendship grows stronger with each successful recipe until the two of you stumble into something even sweeter than baked goods. | This story will constantly have you smiling, sure it’s only 3 chapters so far, but I started off reading it in a bad mood but by the 3rd chapter I was just so sappy and happy. I can’t wait for more!

Without Me by CuttingMyFingersOff » Legolas x OFC!Braigeth — Braigeth was an elf who has nothing but memories of Legolas to help her survive being imprisoned in the walls of Orthanc. That is, until she is able to escape and reunite with him. | I’ve been invested in this since my friend came forward to me with the idea for this story and now that it’s being written, I couldn’t be more excited to read it. I need more Lord of the Rings in my life if I’m being honest.

Forever and Ever More by @syntheticavenger » Dark Alpha!Ransom Drysdale x Omega!Reader — Ransom Drysdale may be Boston’s most eligible Alpha but he has his eyes set on you. With his inheritance hanging in the balance, he won’t take no for an answer, whether you like him or not. | Prepared to go on a Hawaiian EMOTIONAL roller coaster with this story, there are so many times in this story you find yourself picking your jaw up off the floor. I’ve linked you to chapter 9, which has all the previous chapters, listed.

Is A Shout Out To My...

@bluemusickid in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a Holi Celebration Writing Challenge, that is due April 30th, but extension can be given. Any Marvel or MCU characters can be used in addition to Chris Evans and his characters. The theme is Holi and its colors, for better explanation visit the link provided.

@whisperlullaby in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a 700 Followers Challenge, your entries will be due May 5th. The theme is kinks, no RPF, DDLG/MMLG, bathroom related , incest, or under age kinks. This is MCU characters, Sebastian Stan, and Chris Evans characters x OFC or Reader. For more information visit the link provided. Congrats Becca on the 700 followers you deserve it hun!

@stargazingfangirl18 in celebration of 5K followers is hosting a Soft Dark Writing Challenge, which is due May 31st. Don’t let the name fool you, your writing can be soft, dark, or soft!dark, or headcanons about any Chris character. 500 word minimum with no max, but new or be read as a stand alone piece. For more information visit the link provided and be sure to congratulate Siri on her 5K milestone!

@cloudystevie in celebration of 4K followers is hosting a Mob!AU Writing Challenge, that is due on May 30th. You can use Chris Evans and any of his characters he’s played before, as well as make it NSFW or SFW. To learn more about it please visit the link below. Also congratulations Jasmeen on the 4K followers! 💗

[therealvinelle]

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

-

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

[flowerandthesongstress]

Psst. Hey. You. Yes, you, the person who plans on doing NaNoWriMo. Clean your place today if you still haven't. You won't regret it. Dew it. DEW IT.

Right, so for the next month, or however long it takes me to scribble 50k words, I'll try my best to avoid distractions and not post anything lengthy here. Maybe just some funny screenshots or something.

But before I start on the exercise in self-compassion that is NaNoWriMo, I wanted to say a few words about what you miGhT hAvE guESsed is my favorite TV-show. Not just because ‘I won't have time later’, but because the thing I've been writing for the last 11 months, the thing I beat the last NaNoWriMo with, and am intending to repeat the trick, is as Harmon-esque as I could manage, in ways so convolutedly — and sometimes idiotically — metafiction that I can't even begin to describe. But as long as it helps me process stuff, right? Anyway, I owe this to my favorite auteur, and I owe this to Community. ❤️

I am not a fan, I am not a groupie, I am an academic © 

I’ve seen people write fanfiction, theorize about the plot and the setting, ship characters, i.e. treat this show in a normal way, as a TV show. A regular story about a bunch of characters. These people are within their rights, of course, go ahead and perceive in any way you wish, not everyone’s brain is set into overthinking mode 100% of the time, duh-doy. 

But I can’t. I’m only capable of perceiving Community as a TV show about TV shows (and more). To my eyes, it’s not a story about characters, it’s a story about stories. About media of all types, about writing and storytelling and structure and tropes, about how fictional narratives shape our lives and our thinking; for me personally, writing fanfiction about the immediate archetypes involved in it, for instance, would be like writing fanfiction of a narratology textbook. Ridiculous and makes no sense. These people don't exist, can't exist, their world doesn't bend to the narrative, the narrative IS their world, a brechtian student play; they and their 'stories' are illustrations on the pages of a manual that teaches contemporary storytelling of the westerner variety.

Which is to say: to me, Community is a work of NONfiction. It’s entertaining and witty nonfiction, and at times it's GENIUS nonfiction, yes, but Community is Not Real in any way; a page-turner study that provides the viewer (me) with brilliant and memorable examples as the viewer learns. Community is what that dumb motherfucker Campbell wishes he could have been (I fucking hate you, you racist dipshit, wish I could resurrect you and then kill you a hundred times for the damage you have done).

In general, Community is not the playful or heavy-handed sort of meta we’re used to these days, the type that rewards you for understanding references and then goes on to give you exactly what you expected. Community sends a deconstructor fleet after everything within its reach, it challenges and sometimes even punishes the viewer for their preconceived notions and for blindly submitting to them. 😈 But... not only.

See, I bought into (what I now think of as) the charade at first, just binging the show in an idle manner — what am I saying, if it hadn’t started out the way it does, tricking everyone into thinking that they’re watching another run-of-the-mill sitcom, this time about a bunch of goofs in a community college, I bet Harmon would have never gotten the project greenlit; plus, in hindsight, the show needed to build its own comprehensive mythology — but I squinted pretty soon, when the show itself started to call me out. For instance, when Shirley addressed the whole ‘two attractive white people are bound to get together, that’s how it always goes’ situation, and I found myself thinking: huh, I am expecting that to happen, I am absentmindedly ‘shipping’ those two, but why, which outside influence had led me to this absentminded compliance? And just look at what the show did with my trained expectations, how brilliantly it called me out. I applauded and I wheezed. 

When the shift in perception happened, I couldn’t undo it. The strange sensation was made even stranger because it also clashed with the honesty of the irony I was witnessing. I felt encouraged and supported, not merely mocked, I felt comforted and inspired, not laughed at, and my hand was held, not slapped away.

I was like: hmmm waaaaait a second, this...isn't postmodernism, this is something uuuuh... beyond? What...is...this?

Community was how I discovered metamodernism. The encroaching ironesty of our age. The morning after getting smugly high and drunk on postmodernism, the morning of having to face a new day with a horrendous headache and paralyzed legs. The 'okay but if we stick to just mocking our own stories, i.e. ourselves, we might as well fucking kill ourselves right now, so could we please come up with something not as depressing?' The soft refusal to hate oneself and to see only doom and gloom in everything.

Moreover: Community taught me the English language, so it ended up being more than one textbook for me. Although 'nerdview' was a word I learned much later.

As I was watching for the first time, trying to pace myself (quiet fart on fourth...the unfortunate proof that yes, auteur theory does apply sometimes), I re-read several works of nonfiction that had been my holy tomes in uni and beyond — litcrit, comparative mythology, creative writing. But I was also spending hours on the TV tropes website, absorbing and re-absorbing, and looking up articles and essays, and just generally, all jokes aside, watching the show as an academic would (look how Community predicted and lampshaded this, too, and even mocked me a little, with Professor Sheffield!) 

I, too, was raised by TV, but not the American TV, and I guess the fact that I grew up watching mostly different media (minus the X-files), just added to my interest.

Sidenote: now I can quote Community in my sleep. That's how well I know my favorite textbook.

And I still think that the epilogue was perfect in every way. It called me out, it challenged my perception one last time for the road, it asked if I really wanted from my media what I’d been taught to want, and it offered me to engage in the ultimate introspection regarding stories, and learn to compromise, and remember that real life is real life and fiction is fiction, and neither owe me happy endings, and that comfort, closure, and acceptance are instead to be found within me — and then *I* hugged my teacher goodbye, twice, one for a gripping course, one for what the course had taught me, and my teacher left to teach someone else. 

That’s why I said I worship Abed. To me Abed is not a character per se, and not even (not just) a raisonneur; in the confines of this piece of media he’s a mechanism, he’s a book spine, he’s a table of contents, he’s the narrative that holds within itself every narrative that’s ever existed, guiding you through the learning process.  

Right, that’s it, I love kettle corn and Community, Community is a fun time show. 😁

Imma go vacuum some more.

Good luck if you're doing Nano, too.