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#i wish i finally had the proof to say im not crazy to think so
sahhr-studiesmed · 3 months
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I wish someone listened. Like really listened. I never really feel heard ever. It's difficult.
It began with the suspicion of adhd in the year 2020 actually. Recently I read so many experiences of people with autism and felt like that was me. So another suspicion stems up.
I read through my copy of DSM 5 and matched the criteria for combined adhd and level one autism. Ofcourse I'm not a professional so I cannot diagnose myself.
But it's painful not knowing and it's more painful existing.
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uzutsagi · 1 year
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A while ago I tried to amend my problems with a bunch of now deleted posts from a long ass time ago.
I'm now making a SECOND amendment post to the last amendment post that I now deleted, because I finally figured out how to word myself better. Why was it difficult to? I think sometimes, you get me writing some really confusing, hard to understand sentences- and then other times I think I just write in a way that gets the whole ass idea wrong, whether it's the intention of apology, or if I made presumptions and contradictions where I was trying not to. So I'm gonna write about the subject again, directly and as clearly as possible.
I've had a human being, who will not be named, side with another human being who both knew me very well in high school. Something happened where I was being eerily approached by both of them, but this male ex-friend was not as obvious to me as the girl was. He seemed to be interested in making a game, but after a while I started thinking this was a lot of talking and talking where nothing about me was getting friendship out of this and a lot of the energy and positivity I (used to) have to bring was just front loaded onto his table every conversation.
I did say friendship would have been a good positive thing in my life just now, but the thing is, the more I look back on it the more I feel absolutely sure that this guy tried to do some weird "groomer" tactics that he seemed to have pulled on other people, i.e. a girl who had said "he ruined her life" for some reason, and was a weird thing for her say.
Now, I'm not about to say much on the topic of who he is, what he does, dialogue between us, etc....All I can say is that, there seems to be a lot of incontrovertible proof that he's been stalking my art, my profiles, etc. Because when the other friend, the girl, came around, she was saying all sorts of weird shit to me from the get go, and I don't really know why she had really strange timing on a lot of it.
Now don't get me wrong; hacking, not necessarily a thing I could prove, so I wouldn't tell you this, but every time I did something around the house, she had a crazy "skill" of knowing exactly what it was, and sometimes if I was intimating to myself (in other words, confiding aloud) things that I was upset about, she'd then start saying stuff almost to press my buttons on the very exact things I started talking about, the day of, or not long afterwards. One time seems fair enough, but many times, and I started thinking this was getting creepy. So fast forward to a day when she sends me a really insulting message about "how I don't go out and be an adult", and I start getting really clammy vibes from her tone of voice.
Without going on too much, it turns out she was pretending to not know about being in confidance of Zyrol- the guy, and trying to play an idea up like it was worth following up on his art. I didn't want anything to do with Zyrol after our prior conversations already seemed annoying, even less since I started noticing he was manipulative. But the day I blocked Maryam, she decided to skedaddle, while Zyrol's profiles on instagram did the same.
I'm just saying something kind of troubling, here...
Zyrol provably stalks people he wishes to bring back into his life eventually, and they probably don't want to work on a stupid game like that. And it was like hearing two different voices from people who (I honestly only think) want to talk me into being their waifu and (im sure) lower rung "power artist" just very discreetly, and for Maryam, she seemed to be putting bubbles in my sails, but then what I believe was trying to "draw me into" whatever worldview Zyrol might have wanted to shove down my throat. She started off saying how much she admired me and confessing she had no idea how to make friends, to saying put downs like, you don't understand people at all (Zyrol), and that's why you need to leave the house. (So saying like, "you don't know what you're doing, and slowly posit me like I'm the only real example of what to do.") It sounds like what I just said about the grooming and trust imbalance.
My point being is this: what social media teaches me is that just about anyone you know in your life is never automatically trustworthy. One day, they can just choose to shmooze you, then the next they've done things to pull you in line, where you were never asking for that.
Thankfully speaking, the only good part is that I stopped Maryam with her twisted fucking advice before I bothered speaking to her any longer. I never answered her long, drawn out questions about stuff I didn't want to, and I'm glad I didn't force myself to.
Additionally, in a prior post I had mentioned before, I deleted it due to it being very confusing but the basic idea of it was this: they've been doing weird, criminal things, and as it seems, I've talked to them in very harsh tones even tagging up Maryam's u/n and saying she was the R word, all that, which only makes me sad mostly for myself because I can remember how bad all the poison in me felt before I started letting it out and feeling better.
It's almost like the worser the viewpoint in life the more you'll carry so much more toxin, until I started really front loading on so many people about what I was carrying, and to be honest with you I don't even know what to do with it. So I've been chillin' and vibin', whatever, and I've never been that good at coping with attention of any form but now I do a lot better.
It's not who I was years ago. It's all the damage and poison I've been taking in since the year covid started. Maybe you might think this is weird, but nothing good ever came of me when I was 27, either. But I'm about to never speak of that ever again.
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spencerhotchner · 4 years
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Alternative {spencer reid}
Chapter 1 
summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?
warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk
word count: 2k
a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!
series masterlist
part 1 | part 2
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You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.
There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 
“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.
You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 
This can’t be happening. Not to me.
As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 
“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.
“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.
“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.
“We’re in Quantico, dear.”
“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”
The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 
July 1st, 2008
You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 
“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”
“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.
“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.
“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 
She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 
“I’m on what now?” she asked.
Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.
“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”
“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”
‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’
“I saw you on tv” you try.
“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.
“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 
“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.
“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.
“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.
You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.
First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.
If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.
After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 
“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.
“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.
“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”
“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.
“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 
“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”
“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.
Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.
You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 
The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 
“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 
“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.
He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.
“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 
“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 
The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 
“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 
Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 
You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.
“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”
You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.
“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 
And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 
“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 
His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 
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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years
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What about a scenario with overhaul and his SO got into an argument about him being reckless again. He didnt know he was hit with a quirk that granted wishes but it's not was it seems. During the argument. He slip up and said a wish he deeply regret. For example, like he might slip up and say "sometimes things like this I wish I didn't have a SO." (Or something Similar to that). The next morning he is looking for her and everyone was like "who tf is (y/n)."
YESSSSSSS MY FAVORITE-
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Again the same discussion...
Honestly? What did you expected from him? He was an yakusa criminal, people target him, tried to kill him... of course he wouldn't come back without an injury. Members of the Shie Hassaikai coming back from missions unharmed wasn't a miracle, it was a fucking joke.
"You can't honestly keep brushing aside your own health like that!" You trailed after him as he grumbled and fixed the injury on his arm.
"Is nothing major. You're just making a fuss, as always.." he growled while stoping on his tracks and looking at you.
"Oh now I am the one making a fuss?!" You exclaimed as he simply arched an eyebrow before sighing.
"Honestly, you are better off being quiet."
"So maybe I just say 'screw you' and not care about my boyfriend at all HUH?!" You exclaimed in offense and hurt as he only punched the wall, his anger finally manifesting.
"If I knew that having you as my partner would be like this everytime I came back from a meeting I much rather wish you never even crossed my path, or better yet, never existed." He grunted before opening jos eyes and seingbthe hurt in your expression and how you backed down.
It was silence for a bit before you brethed in and out, looking at him coldly in the eyes before managing to mumble some words.
"If is that how you feel. Fine. I will peave yoh alone Chisaki."
He narrowed his eyes at seing you walking away as he rolled his eyes after. Walking towards the bathroom to wash all of the filth sticked to his body.
.
.
.
As he felt the drops of hot water hit his skin and letting out a relieved sigh, his mind plagued him with the words he had said... Sure, he was a prideful man, but he knew when he had overstep and he was on the wrong.
He didn't know jow long he had been on the shower, but as soon as he left the bathroom he saw that all of your things were simply... gone. His face scrunched up at the mere thought of you being so mad that you just decided to get out of your shared room.
Sighing, he only picked up some clothes and layed on the bed. Thinking that he just needed to give you a bit of time to cool your head off.
It was alreadh dark, and sleep? He didn't get any of it. Just rolling on the bed, impossibpe of getting comfortable as he just chuffed and got up, placing his casual black mask on as he left his room.
Spoting Chrono on the halls he only sighed as both him and Mimic greetes his presence.
"Sleep well?" Mimic snickered at the face of Chisaki as Chrono chuckled. He only rolled his eyes at them before putting his hands on his pockets and lookimg around.
"Make all the fun you want. I have to apologize to (Y/n), a better thing that discussing with two imbeciles." He muttered nonchantly as Chrono and mimic widened their eyes while looking at eachother.
"Who is this godsend (Y/n) that YOU have to apologize to?" Chrono chuckled as Mimic snickered.
"Yeah boss, since when you apologize to someone? Specially a chick we never heard of?"
"Very funny." Chisaki deadpanned "Any of you saw where she went?"
"Still dont know who the fuck are you talking about." Mimic spatted as Chrono nodded in confirmation.
"Dammit both of you!" Chisaki hissed in anget "Stop joking. Im talking about (Y/n). You know? The woman I sleep with and even lives in here for about four years?" He narrowed his eyes as he vrossed his arms as Chrono made a worried expression as Mimic let out a confused noise.
"Kai? You're.. are you okay? Got hit by a quirk or something?"
"Chronostasis if you dont tell me where the fuck is my girlfriend I am turning you into a pool of blood on these halls." He growled threatening as Mimic got in the middpe of both them, returning to human form to prevent a catastrophe.
"Boss we're serious here. Never on those four years you brought a human soul inaide the shie Hassaikai asides from the precepts."
He scoffed, feeling hives creep through his spine as he spotted Nemoto coming along.
"Nemoto." He growled aas the man with glasses got onto his side pretty quickly. "Where is (Y/n)? I want you to ask them this moment."
The man only arched his eyebrows up in worry as he put his hand on his chin.
"Huh... master, who is this (Y/n)? Is a debtor of ours?"
"Not you too." He groaned "My girlfriend Nemoto! Where is she?!"
"Master..." the man only muttered in fear for his boss "You.. never had a girlfriend. Never even brought someone asides form us the eight precepts inside."
His eyes widened... Nemoto qoupd rather die than lie straight to his face...
No... this couldn't be real.
He ran past the three man back to his room. Anyone who saw Chisaki at that moment would tell he was insane, searching every centimeter on that room in search of a proof you existed, you were still there.
Yet, he found nothing. His room was throw upside down as he breathed in and out desperatly and scratched his arm full of red spots.
One last chance was Pops. Yeah. The opd man would just simply tell him that he needed to give you time and that was all a cruel joke from his most trusted subbordinates on him. Yeah, that could only be it.
Barging through the door he apmost shouted Pops name as the man was checking some papers.
"Why, good morning for you too Chisaki-"
"(Y/n)-" he breathed out your name as he slammed jis hands on the desk of the elder "Please tell me where my angel is old man.. please tell me I didn't losed my mind..."
It was quiet for a bit before he felt a hand on his head and he saw the worried look on Pops face.
"Chisaki calm down my boy, what is happening?"
"I had a fight with her." He breathed out "I said some stupid shit to my girlfriend and now everyone is staring at me like I am some sprta of crazy bastard, telling me (Y/n) never even stepped inside this house..."
"Kai, I hate to tell you this my boy..." he patted his shoulder "But really, I dont know who is this (Y/n).. maybe you're mistaken?"
"I am not.." he let out a shaky breath as he gripped his hair "I am not mistaken..."
He ended up sitting on the sofa, collapinsing even as his eyes burned.
He didn't meaant those words! How?! Must be a nightmare, it must be-?! A life without you he couldn't imagine, hell he didn't even wanted to live a lige without the light of his dark life. His angel that always worry about him...
It couldn't be.. please... this cant be real.
Before a tear could escape his eyes he heard a door opening and some muffped voices.
"He just barged in here talking to himself some nonsense and is just like this."
"I heard the same thing from the guys, is he okay?"
That voice... it was.. it was your-
"(Y/n).." he called out and finally looked up from his hands and seing you there looking at him.
There you were... hurt for sure by his words yet looking at him with worry in your eyes.
"Maybe he was hit by a quirk on his way out earlier." Pops commented as he standed up, immediatly catching your hand and pulling you towards him so he could your cheek. Uncharestically of him enough to make you widen your eyes.
"Kai..?" You almost whispered his name as his golden eyes had a tears stuck on them as he looked at every atom almost of your face.
His thumb carresed your cheek like your skin could breao at any moment... the fear he felt earlier was slowly melting away as he noticed you were really there, he could touch you and ... it was real.
"Kai..?" You furrowed your eyebrows, grabbing the hand on your cheek before gasping when his arms circled around your waist and almost crushed you to him.
"You're really here..." he breathe dout shakily, holding your body close to him as he rubbed his nose on your temple with shaky breaths.
"Where else I would have gone..?" You laughed nervously while hesitantly hugging back.
"I'm so sorry... angel, Im so sorry... forgive me for what I said.." the way he hugged you was so rare and so out of character of him, it was like you had died and come back to death.
"I will leave you both alone for now." Pops said before smilling at both of you as Chisaki finally repeased a bit the grip he had on you after Pops left the room.
"What happened for you to act like-" he quickly locked his lips with yours making you wide your eyes once again.
"I swear-" a kiss "I will mever spoke such atrocities to you again-" another kiss "You're the angel of my dreams and life-" so much kisses god.
You even giggled at his treatment and carresed his chest.
"Okay okay I forgive you-" you giggled as he he brought you close to him again so he could bury his face on your hair "But really, what happened?" You asked while carresing his back as he sighed in relief at feeling your warmth and scent.
"I just lived my worst nightmare... after a stupid wish." He breathed out, surely not over from what had happened.
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onceuponaloonatic · 3 years
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How did 3na rekindle their relationship? Thank you in advance and have an amazing day/night!
sorry this took a while !! i'm the only person with a car in my friend group so i play chauffeur a lot so i've been exhausted from helping other people move but i finally got this done !! i hope you guys enjoy !!
“Miss Minatozaki!” Sana couldn’t fight a smile as she heard Saki’s voice. It was nearing the end of the school year, and she had found herself sad at the thought of never being able to see Saki again. She had started crashing all the time they had together, knowing it was going to come to an end soon.
“Hi Saki. What are you doing here so late after school?” Sana asked. School had let out hours ago, and Sana was just waiting for Jihyo to come by with Nico so they could take their daughter to a doctor’s appointment. “I had science club!” Saki explained excitedly. Sana nodded, vaguely remembering Saki saying she was in the school’s science club. It made sense for her, Saki had always enjoyed doing science in school. “How was it?” “It was so fun! We built bridges out of sticks!” Saki explained. “Sounds like a lot of fun. Do you know if your mom is almost here to pick you up?” “She should be. Club let out at 5. But on Tuesdays mama has to get Sai from softball too so she’s usually late picking me up from science.” Saki explained. “Do you have Nico?” “No, but she’s coming with her mama to pick me up from work.” Sana answered. She understood why Saki would ask that, the rare times she did see Sana after school, Sana was usually leaving and since Momo always brought Nico when she picked her up Saki usually saw her with Nico. “Nico’s mama?” Saki asked. “Your wife?” “Uh yeah, that's right.” Sana nodded, shuffling around awkwardly.
“But you don’t wear a ring like my moms’ do.” Saki pointed out. “Mama told me she never takes her ring off cause it’s proof she’s married to ka-san.” “Not everyone can wear their ring all the time, Saki. Some people can’t wear them because of their jobs.” Sana attempted to justify.
“But Mrs.Kim and Mrs.Song wear theirs every single day.” Sana really wished Saki was less perceptive. She knew her student was extremely perceptive, and quite smart, and while normally Sana was proud of her, she could see why this was a bit of an issue. The girl was too smart for her own good. “Mm… Well Nico’s mama and I we uh- we don’t need rings.” “Is it because you're not married?” Saki asked.
“No, no- we just uh don’t like jewelry all that much. But that’s okay, cause we love each other.” Sana explained. “Saki! There you are! You know what we said about running off…” Nayeon paused when she saw Sana. “Hi mama.” Saki smiled at Nayeon. “Oh hi Nay- Miss Im-Myoui. Saki and I here were just discussing things from class-”
“No we weren’t. We were talking about your wife.” Saki nodded. At the mention of it, Nayeon couldn’t help but think about the pictures she came across on Jihyo’s instagram of her with another woman. There were barely any pictures of Sana on there at all actually. No wedding photos, no vacation photos. Just a couple of pictures from when they had Nico. “Oh uh… Okay? Saki come on, your sister is waiting for us.” Nayeon looked at Sana one more time, painfully noticing Sana’s lack of a scent marking. “But I wanted to see Nico.” Saki whined. “Miss Minatozaki said her mama was bringing her.” “Saki I’m sure that would be troubling for Miss Minatozaki, let’s just get home and start on dinner-” Nayeon trailed off when she noticed someone else coming towards them. When they reached them, Saki took off in a dash and Sana wasn’t far behind. “Nico!” Saki giggled. “You're so much bigger!” Jihyo smiled at Saki’s praise, holding one hand around Nico’s stomach while the baby giggled at all the attention. It didn’t take long for her to notice Nayeon though, and she couldn’t help but notice the death glare Nayeon was giving her. “Yup, she’s been growing a lot lately.” Sana smiled, taking one of Nico’s hands. “She even has started doing more stuff too like laughing and eating real food.” Sana was so focused on Nico and by extension Saki, she didn’t notice the staring match Nayeon and Jihyo were engaged in. “Hey Sana, can you take Nico for a second?” Jihyo asked, beginning to unstrap her daughter.
“Oh sure. Why though?”
“Mrs.Im and I are going to have a little chat. Her company recently hired my firm, so I’m sure you can imagine there’s a lot needed to discuss.” Jihyo explained. Sana looked at her suspiciously, but didn’t question. She took Nico into her arms and Saki seemed fascinated by Nico as Sana explained what she was learning. Jihyo motioned for Nayeon to follow her, and the older woman followed her into the hallway. “So you're a lawyer?” Nayeon asked, feeling a bit of intrigue. She had never actually talked to Jihyo, despite knowing her for almost seven years now. She was just someone Sana was friends with. Even if Nayeon had felt a lot of jealousy towards her when Sana was pregnant, she had never actually spoken to Jihyo. “Civil prosecutor, but yes anyway...” Jihyo nodded. “Why the hell are you staring at me like that?”
“You're cheating on Sana.” Jihyo couldn’t stifle her laughter. “Don’t laugh this is super serious stuff- I can’t believe you would cheat on your wife and then post about it on instagram and even laugh about it-”
“My wife?” Jihyo giggled. “Sana would never marry me. That would be like marrying my sister, weird on so many levels. Sure we have Nico so I completely understand the misunderstanding, but we are not married. How can I cheat on someone I’m not even with in the first place?”
“But-but Sana said you two were married-” It was then that everything clicked in Jihyo’s head. Sana had said that. She had told Jihyo about it and everything. She had just completely forgotten. And now she felt so stupid. “Oh yeah, yeah. We um, we are taking a break?” Jihyo attempted to justify. “We never got married officially, so I got a little confused.” “A break?” “Yeah uh, we decided being just friends is better for now.” Jihyo explained. “But Nico is still- she’s very little still. So we are still seeing each other as friends.” “Oh… I see.” Nayeon nodded. “Were you cheating on her before or after you split up?” “I- I never cheated on Sana.” Jihyo nodded. “I would never. Believe it or not I actually love her. Unlike you and your wife.” “Hey you don’t have a right to say anything about that. You don’t know anything-”
“I know you hurt her. You have no right to lecture me, you completely broke Sana. In a way Momo and I have tried to fix. We’ve tried so hard to fix her. But the two of you-you completely broke Sana. Was it worth it? Was making the media happy worth losing Sana?” Jihyo couldn’t stop herself from letting it spill out. Her feelings towards Nayeon and Mina had been building for so long, and now she couldn’t help them from spilling over.
“You don’t know anything-”
“I know my best friend got hurt.” Jihyo interjected. “She’s still being hurt by your choices, and to me that’s all matters.” Nayeon fell silent after that, taking a while to think out what to say.
“We messed up, Mina and I both know that. And I’m sorry Sana had to get hurt in the process, but we can’t take it back. We didn’t want them to meet at all, but Sana said it was okay and Saki wanted it so- it’s almost over.” “So what, your just going to go back to your fantasy land with your perfect family?” Jihyo asked. “This year isn’t something Sana is just going to forget. She loves Saki. She loves all the other girls. I know if you guys cut all contact with her again and go back to your perfect little life, Sana is going to be crushed all over again. I love Sana, not romantically, but more than you ever will. And because of that, I can’t just let her get hurt again.” “You know nothing about how I feel about Sana.” Nayeon growled. “Oh yeah? You chose your image over her. That doesn’t seem like love to me.” Jihyo rolled her eyes. “Sana always talked about you two like you were so perfect. Even after you guys screwed her over she never said a single bad thing about you two. She’s so good, but look at what you two did to her. You hurt the human sunshine and you have the audacity to stand here and claim you care about her after fucking her over for six years.” “I’m not claiming anything- I care about Sana. I do-I do, and Mina does too. It hasn’t been easy for us either. Every night I can barely sleep because I think about her. Every night Mina has nightmares about Sana. But-but we made a decision and we have to live with it. Even if I want more than anything to take it back, we can’t just change our minds now. We already messed everything up, it can’t go back to how it’s supposed to be.” “So your saying that people can’t change their minds? Your saying that because you made a mistake once you can’t change it?” Jihyo rolled her eyes. “You, Im Nayeon, are the biggest idoit on the plant.” “Even if we tried, it would just hurt Sana more. She’s-she’s better off like this. Trust me.” Nayeon nodded. “Your saying she’s better off in an almost unbearable pain than forgiving you. You have no idea how hurt she has been. We aren’t omegas, but both of us are sires. Imagine if someone took your kids away from you, and said you could never see them again because of a mistake they made. Wouldn’t that drive you crazy? I know if someone took Nico from me like that- I would go crazy. Try seeing this from Sana’s perspective.” “But-but she wouldn’t forgive us. Not after what we have done-”
“That doesn’t matter. If you just- give her the chance she’s wanted for six years. To form a meaningful connection with her kids. It doesn’t matter what she thinks of you or what you think of her, being a parent should come first.” Jihyo nodded. “I’m not saying you should try to get her back or anything like that. You absolutely should not do that. But- at least give her the opportunity to meet her kids properly.” “I-I’ll think about it.” “Good.” Jihyo sighed. “Now let’s get back, Nico does have somewhere she needs to be.” When they returned, Sana and Saki were wering matching smiles as Saki waved a baby toy in front of Nico. Nayeon couldn’t stop her heart from aching when she remembered how similar Sana and Saki’s smiles were.
xx
That night, Sana received a text to meet Mina and Nayeon at a coffee shop not too far from the school she taught it. Needless to say, she was terrified.
xx
“Bye baby girl.” Sana sighed, kissing Nico’s cheek.”Behave for Auntie Momo.” “She always does.” Momo laughed, scoping Nico up into her arms. “Come here sweetie, let’s do all the things your mom says you can’t.”
“I’ll be back in a bit.” Sana breathed out a sigh of nerves. “You got this Sana. You never know, it could go well.” Momo offered. “Or I could lose them forever.” Sana sighed.
“Don’t think about it that way. Anyway, remember to use protection and call me if you can’t walk home.” “Don’t make it sound like I’m going to sleep with them!” Sana protested. “That’s not what this is-”
“Bye Sana.” Momo ignored her and pushed her out of their house. Sana sighed and clutched her purse tightly, taking another deep breath before starting on her walk. She couldn’t stop her mind from wandering the whole way there. It seemed so out of the blue. It stressed her out.
Mina and Nayeon are waiting there for her. They both are dressed in casual clothing, and Sana had forgotton how adorable Mina’s oversized sweaters were and how hot Nayeon looked in sweatpants.
“Hello.” Sana sighed when she sat at the table they were at. Mina and Nayeon were both sitting opposite of her, which was more than a little intimidating. “Hey.” Nayeon greeted. Mina stayed quiet, swirling her coffee around in her cup. “Did you order something yet? It’s on us.” “No it’s okay- I already had plenty of coffee this morning. My five month old is in a growth spurt so she isn’t sleeping much so my roommate and I have both consumed like three cups of coffee in the past few hours.” Sana explained.
“Okay then.” Nayeon nodded, Mina staying quiet and drinking her coffee. Sana couldn’t help but notice her fist were curled in, a habit Mina had when she was nervous. “Um… Where to start?” “About Saki.” Mina reminded, taking another sip of her drink. “Oh yeah- about Saki.” Sana couldn’t help herself from tensing up. “She um- she has really liked you being her teacher. I don’t think she’s really figured anything out yet, but her and the others ids have been asking about thier birth mom a lot lately. We have been avoiding their questions, but maybe-maybe that’s bad for them.” “We just- it might be a good idea to introduce you into their lives. We’ve talked about it, and we’re worried that girls might come to hate us if we keep you from them their entire lives. I know we messed up, and that you probably want nothing to do with us. But maybe it shouldn’t be about us anymore.” Mina added. Sana couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “I- what? What changed now?” “Nothing really changed, we just. We messed up. We’re admitting it, and we’re hoping to correct ourselves. If you will let us. You don’t have to forgive us, but maybe consider meeting them? Not as a teacher, as their birth mother.” Nayeon answered. “We have hated this too, and we realized keeping you away from them is just making this worse for everyone. The least we can do is let you meet your daughters as their birth mom. If you want.” “Mina, I would love that.” Tears came to Sana’s eyes. “Yeah?” “Yes.” Sana nodded, wiping her tears with one hand. “Sorry, I cry so easily now. Guess that’s what happens when you have five kids. But uh yes, yes I would love to meet them as their birth mom. On one condition, they are allowed to meet Nico too. If I get to know them, their half-sister does too.” “Yeah, that’s-that makes sense.” Nayeon nodded. “We are sorry for how everything turned out. We will do our best to make this all right if you would let us.” “I would love that.” Sana smiled. “Thank you so much.” “No-thank you. I can only say I’m so sorry for all we’ve put you through.” “It’s okay.” Sana took one of Mina’s tense fists and unfurled it. “Let’s make this better, together.”
“I would like that.”
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anchorandrope · 4 years
Text
larry songs on walls
!!! | i’m not going to include the complete lyrics of all the songs so for a better understanding, look for them. all the songs were written by louis and other composers.
masterpost
HABIT
harry is the habit that louis can’t break
“i always said that i’d mess up eventually i told you that, so what did you expect from me? it shouldn’t come as no surprise anymore i know you said that you'd give me another chance but you and i knew the truth of it in advance that mentally you were already out the door”
the first part talks about how louis always thought he was going to ruin everything and that he didn’t know what harry expected of him, harry tells him that it doesn’t matter if he makes a mistake or they fight, he will give him more opportunities, they both knew that in the end, they were going to apologize but first they were probably going to have a fight where one of them leaves to not continue fighting (by leaving i mean literally going out the door and going somewhere else to calm the mind to not say things that they will regret later, i don’t mean to break up).
“i took some time ‘cause i’ve ran out of energy of playing someone i heard i’m supposed to be but honestly, i don’t have to choose anymore”
here he literally says that he got tired of pretending to be someone he is not, which refers to the role of straight image they put on him.
“and it's been ages, different stages come so far from princess park i’ll always need ya in front of me, in front of me”
this is the clearest reference to harry in the entire album as it mentions princess park, the first place harry and louis lived together. it basically says that he always need him, at every moment, at every stage.
bonus: stages is a wordplay because louis and harry literally went from stage to stage together singing and through stages of life.
“you gave me the time and the space, i was out of control and i’m sorry, i let you down guess that i know what i already knew, i was better with you, and i miss you now”
this part talks about a fight. they fought and as the beginning said, the one who “walked through the door” was harry, he left time and space for both of them to think. louis regrets it and feels that he disappointed him because even though he knows harry is going to forgive him, he feels responsible for everything. “i guess i know what i already knew” he talks about how every time a fight ends he realizes again that harry is the one, it’s something that he always knew and will know, but every time they fight is a thought that reinforces. the last part talks about the fear of losing him after fighting and how he only wants to see him to fix things, how the minutes for him are hours and that all he thinks about is him.
ALWAYS YOU
it was always harry
STUNT LYRIC IN ALWAYS YOU
“i went to amsterdam without you and all i could do was think about you” (...) “drink after drink but i still felt alone, i should’ve known”
the first part is iconic because louis went to amsterdam with eleanor in mid-2017 (x) and shortly afterwards he wrote the song. the second part talks about how lonely he feels when he isn’t with harry and how he drowns his absence in alcohol.
“walked through my door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you're not home waiting to wrap your legs around me”
here is a word that describes louis and harry's relationship: home. the lyrics talk about how louis gets home when harry isn’t there (because he's traveling, he's giving a show, etc) and he doesn't feel like home because his home is harry, not a house.
TOO YOUNG
they were too young to realize everything
STUNT LYRIC IN TOO YOUNG
“we were too young to know we had everything” (...) “i wish i could’ve seen it all along i’m sorry that I hurt you, darling”
the first lyric talks about two things: how at the beginning of their relationship (until the end of 2011) they, even though they couldn't make it official, had few limitations for certain things such as tweets, flirting, hints, etc. and about what they lived together in one direction in general, they sang and traveled around the world together and at that moment they hadn’t realized how beautiful it was to be able to spend so much time together. in the second part louis blames himself for not having been able to see everything that was going to happen to them from the beginning (which is crazy because they were kids when everything started, so he should never blame himself for anything because the closeting is not his fault) and apologizes to harry for letting other people hurt him so much.
“i’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all i’ve ever known it’s hard to think you could ever hate me but everything’s feeling different now”
at one point louis came to think that harry hated him for all the damage that he “allowed” to be done to him (clearly not literal hate but he refers to anger/sadness) but now he looks back at those moments where he thought that and he knows it wasn’t that way, and now that he is older, he realizes that it was never his fault and he no longer feels that harry "hates" him for everything they happened. (it should be clarified that louis thought that harry was mad with him for that, that doesn’t mean that harry really felt that way, maybe it was only a perception of louis).
“oh, i can’t believe i gave into the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off ‘cause i didn’t know no better now i realise yeah, i realise”
he talks about how at one point he believed what they told him about being with harry, when the closeting just started, surely before putting beards on them and everything, they talked to them to convince them to not be together because they weren't going to make it, louis really believed that it was something wrong with loving harry and that they weren’t going to make it, that's why he told him that maybe wasn’t a good idea to have a relationship, harry clearly made him see reason and that’s why at the end he says “now i realize”, which means that louis can't believe he thought it was wrong to be with harry and he can't believe he actually talked to him about it.
“face to face at the kitchen table this is everything i waited for now we can finally have the conversation that i wish we could’ve had before”
the first part talks about them being at home (“kitchen table” they also use it to refer to “home”) and they sat down to talk about all the shit they were going through, with “that conversation” he doesn’t refer to a discussion where they wondered if they loved each other or not, in that conversation they shared pain and frustration and both gave each other support.
WE MADE IT
they made it, together
STUNT LYRIC IN WE MADE IT
“‘cause we made it, underestimated and always underrated” (...) “knew that we would be alright, from the first time” (...) “never coming down with your hand in mine”
here there is a connection with too young: in too young he talks about how they were told they were never going to make it and here he talks about how they did it despite everything they were told, while they are together, nothing can bring them down.
“we were only kids, just tryna work it out wonder what they'd think if they could see us now”
another connection with too young: they were just kids trying to deal with closeting, they made it and now they wonder what those who told them they were never going to make it think.
bonus: “if they could see us now” eleanor and louis are a public couple, everyone can see and know about them...
“don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young done a pretty good job, dealing with it all when you’re here don’t need to say no more nothing in the world that i would change it for”
another reference to too young: he doesn’t understand why they put so much pressure and responsibility on them when they were so young. then he talks about how when he is with harry he handles the situation very well and that even though he has a horrible time in the industry, he would choose a thousand times to go through it just to be with him.
PERFECT NOW
harry love, you will always be perfect for me
to begin with, i want to say that its the only song with pronouns on walls, this data is not minor since it means that he intentionally wanted to highlight the feminine gender (he could have made it neutral as well but no, he decided to use feminine pronouns). harry gave us plenty of proof that he also uses feminine pronouns and louis was not far behind.
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in my opinion the lyrics are quite obvious, they talk about harry’s insecurities and how louis tells her to not stop being who she is and that everything about her is perfect.
he talks about the clothes, about how maybe harry, no matter how open she seems, is still afraid to dress as she would like when she is with friends/family; he talks about the fear she has of doing things she loves, like dancing; he talks about she not wanting to attract attention, wanting to hide, etc.
its a beautiful love song, we can see how in love louis is and that he doesnt care about the pronouns or the clothes, he will always love her and he will be there to help her in her insecurities. (x) (x)
DEFENCELESS
im defenceless, i got so much to lose
“i come runnin’ to you like a moth into a flame you tell me, “take it easy”, but it’s easier to say “wish i didn’t need so much of you” i hate to say, but i do we’re sleepin’ on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams we wake up early morning and they’re still under the sheets i’m lost in my head, i’m spinnin’ again tryna find what to say to you”
this song literally talks about closeting. first he talks about how when louis gets angry about something they have to do (for the stunts) harry tells him to take it easy to which louis responds that its easier if he told him that he wishes he didn’t love him so much. he hates to say that it would be easier if they didn't love each other, but he knows that its true. then he speaks in the plural (this is important because he remarks that its a problem that both of them go through) saying that they both sleep waiting to get up and seeing that everything is solved. and finally, he talks about how louis is constantly thinking of solutions and consolations for both of them.
“been up all night, all night, runnin’ all my lines but it’s only the truth been up all night, not sure how to say this right got so much to lose”
“never been so defenceless (oh-oh) never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) you just keep on buildin’up your fences (oh-oh) but i’ve never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) [...]”
he spent the whole night going over everything he has to solve, everything he has to say to pretend; he doesn’t know how to say it because he knows that if he says it he has so much to lose. (this is literally a lyric about coming out of the closet, no explanation needed) he says he feels defenceless despite seeing harry building his way to the end, that no matter that he sees the light at the end of the tunnel, he feels vulnerable.
“no, you don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do and i can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove”
he tells harry to stop pretending that nothing affects him because he knows that he suffered as much as he does, he told him to open up so he can help him and not let his pride win.
“i hope that i’m not asking too much just wanna be loved by you (don’t you be so defensive) and i’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you”
does this need explanation? it’s louis telling harry that he doesn’t care about anything anymore and he just wants to be loved by him.
ONLY THE BRAVE
louis in love has to be brave
this song doesn’t talk about harry, it talks about louis’ sexuality but it seemed right to include it since i see the importance and relationship to his relationship with him.
“pour mercy, mercy on me set fire to history i’m breaking my own rules i’m crying like a fool tall stories on the page short glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch but i never cared for love”
“pour mercy, mercy on me” “i’m breaking my own rules” and “i’m crying like a fool” refer to the fact that louis suffered a lot when he discovered his sexuality and had a stage of self-denial, not everyone accepts themselves at first. “set fire history” and “tall stories on the page” talks of how historically homosexuality was not accepted. “shot glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch” talks about the times he felt close to coming out but never ending happening. “but i never cared for love” he never cared about loving the way he was taught: heterosexual.
“it’s a church of burnt romances and i’m too far gone to pray it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”
first he talks about the church (we already know the church's opinion on homosexuality) the phrase “burnt romances” talks about all gay couples who couldn’t be together because society prohibited them (it was also very normal in ancient times to burn homosexuals at the stake and you can refer to that too, it’s a sensitive theme but it makes sense). “i’m too far gone to pray” talks about being far from what the church expects and feels that god wouldn’t listen to you. “it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave” is a song for people who, even though they feel lonely, are brave.
to clarify: heterosexual people don’t have to be brave to love, heterosexuals are accepted throughout the world and they don’t have laws that harm them or millions of people who think they are sick. saying that heterosexuals also have to be brave to love is homophobic.
“if the truth tell darling, you feel like there ain’t enough dying stars in your sky it’s a tall tale and it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye (goodbye)”
the first part talks about how by saying your true orientation you lose many people, the “dying stars” are the people who leaves you and “your sky” is your life. the second part talks about the homophobic “arguments” that people say when you show yourself as you are and that no matter what they tell you, you are still who you are. (tall tale=very exaggerated story)
“pour mercy, mercy on me i’ll fall upon my knees and they’ll say, “i told you so” come on, when you know, you know”
at the moment that he can’t take it anymore and “fall to his knees” (come out of the closet) and lose many people, there will be someone who will say “i told you that you shouldn’t say it”, he knows it was the right thing to do, but he also knows that they are partly right, they told him and he still decided to be free.
“all the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”
you are who you are from the moment you are born until you die, is a song for people who, even though they feel lonely, are brave.
clearly this is just my interpretation, their interpretations are also equally valid (as long as they can be justified obviously) there is no correct interpretation so if they interpret it differently it’s also fine
—————————————————
canciones larry en walls
!!! | no voy a incluir las letras completas de todas las canciones asi que para una mejor compresión busquenlas ustedes. todas las canciones fueron escritas por louis y otros compositores.
masterpost
HABIT
harry es el hábito que louis no puede romper
original
“i always said that i’d mess up eventually i told you that, so what did you expect from me? it shouldn’t come as no surprise anymore i know you said that you'd give me another chance but you and i knew the truth of it in advance that mentally you were already out the door”
traducción
“siempre dije que eventualmente yo me equivocaría te lo dije, ¿qué esperabas de mí? ya no debería ser una sorpresa sé que dijiste que me darías otra oportunidad pero tú y yo sabíamos la verdad de antemano que mentalmente tú ya estabas fuera de la puerta”
la primera parte habla de que louis siempre pensó que iba a arruinar todo y que no sabía lo que harry esperaba de el, harry le dice que no importa si se equivoca o pelean, el va a darle mas oportunidades, ambos sabían que al fin y al cabo iban a disculparse pero antes probablemente iban a tener una pelea donde uno de los dos se va para no seguir peleando (con irse me refiero a literal salir por la puerta e ir a otro lado a calmar la mente para no decir cosas que no queres, no me refiero a terminar).
original
“i took some time ‘cause i’ve ran out of energy of playing someone i heard i’m supposed to be but honestly, i don’t have to choose anymore”
traducción
“me tomé un tiempo porque me quedé sin energía de interpretar a alguien que escuché que se supone que soy pero honestamente, ya no tengo que elegir”
aca literalmente dice que se cansó de fingir ser alguien que no es, lo cual hace referencia al papel de hetero que le pusieron.
original
“and it's been ages, different stages come so far from princess park i’ll always need ya in front of me, in front of me”
traducción
“y han pasado años, diferentes etapas ven tan lejos desde princess park siempre te necesitaré delante de mí, delante de mí”
esta es la referencia a harry mas clara en todo el álbum ya que menciona a princess park, el primer lugar donde harry y louis vivieron juntos. básicamente dice que siempre lo necesitó, en cada momento, en cada etapa.
bonus: “stages” puede ser etapas o escenarios, por el contexto es etapas pero es un juego de palabras porque louis y harry literalmente fueron de escenario en escenario juntos a traves de los años.
original
“you gave me the time and the space, i was out of control and i’m sorry, i let you down guess that i know what i already knew, i was better with you, and i miss you now”
traducción
“me diste el tiempo y el espacio, estaba fuera de control y lo siento, te decepcioné supongo que sé lo que ya sabía, estaba mejor contigo, y te extraño ahora”
esta parte habla de una pelea. se pelearon y como dijo el principio, el que “camino a traves de la puerta” fue harry, el le dejó tiempo y espacio para que ambos piensen. louis se arrepiente y siente que lo desepcionó porque por mas de que sabe que harry va a perdonarlo, se siente responsable de todo. “supongo que se lo que ya sabía” habla de que cada vez que termina una pelea se da cuenta otra vez de que harry es el indicado, es algo que siempre lo supo y lo va a saber, pero cada vez que pelean es un pensamiento que refuerza. la ultima parte habla del miedo de perderlo despues de pelear y de como solo quiere verlo para arreglar las cosas, de como los minutos para el son horas y de que en lo único que piensa es en el.
ALWAYS YOU
siempre fue harry
STUNT LYRIC EN ALWAYS YOU
original
“i went to amsterdam without you and all i could do was think about you” (...) “drink after drink but i still felt alone, i should’ve known”
traducción
“fui a amsterdam sin ti y todo lo que pude hacer fue pensar en ti” (...) “bebida tras bebida, pero todavía me sentía solo, debería haberlo sabido”
la primera parte es iconica porque louis fue a amsterdam con eleanor a mediados de 2017 (x) y poco tiempo después escribió la canción. la segunda parte habla de lo solo que se siente cuando no esta con harry y de como ahoga su ausencia en alcohol.
original
“walked through my door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you're not home waiting to wrap your legs around me”
traducción
“atravesé mi puerta pero no me sentí como en casa porque no estás en casa esperando para envolver tus piernas a mi alrededor”
aca se menciona una palabra que describe la relación de louis y harry: home. los lyrics hablan de como louis llega a su casa cuando harry no esta (ya se porque esta de viaje, esta dando un show, etc) y no lo siente como su hogar porque su hogar es harry no una casa.
TOO YOUNG
eran muy chicos para darse cuenta de todo
STUNT LYRIC EN TOO YOUNG
original
“we were too young to know we had everything” (...) “i wish i could’ve seen it all along i’m sorry that I hurt you, darling”
traducción
“éramos muy jóvenes para saber que teníamos todo” (...) “desearía haberlo visto todo el tiempo lamento haberte herido, cariño”
el primer lyric habla de dos cosas: de como al principio de su relación (hasta fines del 2011) ellos por mas de que no podían hacerlo oficial, tenían pocas limitaciones para ciertas cosas como por ejemplo tweets, coqueteo, indirectas, etc. y sobre lo que vivieron juntos en one direction en general, ellos cantaron y viajaron por el mundo juntos y en ese momento no se habían dado cuenta de lo hermoso que era poder estar tanto tiempo juntos. en la segunda parte louis se culpa por no haber podido ver todo lo que les iba a pasar desde el principio (cosa que es una locura porque eran nenes cuando emepezó todo, asi que no debería culparse de nada nunca porque el closeting no es su culpa) y le pide perdon a harry por haber dejado que otras personas lo lastimen tanto.
original
“i’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all i’ve ever known it’s hard to think you could ever hate me but everything’s feeling different now”
traducción
“he estado mirando mucho atrás últimamente tú y yo es todo lo que he conocido, es difícil pensar que alguna vez puedas odiarme pero todo se siente diferente ahora”
en un punto louis llegó a pensar que harry lo odiaba por todo el daño que el “permitió” que le hicieran (claramente no odiar literal pero se refiere a enojo/trsiteza) pero ahora mira hacía esos momentos donde pensaba eso y sabe que no es asi y ahora que es mas grande, se da cuenta que nunca fue su culpa y ya no siente que harry lo “odia” por todo lo que pasaron. (cabe aclarar que louis pensaba que harry esta mal con el por eso, eso no quiere decir que harry verdaderamentese haya sentido asi, por ahi era solo una percepción de louis).
original
“oh, i can’t believe i gave into the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off ‘cause i didn’t know no better now i realise yeah, i realise”
traducción
“oh, no puedo creer que haya cedido a la presión cuando dijeron que un amor como este nunca duraría así que te interrumpí porque no sabía nada mejor, ahora me doy cuenta sí, me doy cuenta”
habla de que en un momento creyó lo que le dijeron sobre estar con harry, cuando recien empezó el closeting de hierro seguramente antes de ponerles barbas y todo, hablaron con ellos para convencerlos de que no esten juntos porque no iban a dudar, louis realmente creyó que había algo malo en amar a harry y que no iban a lograrlo por eso le dijo que por ahí no era una buena idea tener una relación, harry claramente lo hizo entrar en razon y por eso al final dice “ahora me doy cuenta”, que significa que louis no puede creer que el pensó que estaba mal estar con harry y no puede creer que realmente habló con el sobre eso.
original
“face to face at the kitchen table this is everything i waited for now we can finally have the conversation that i wish we could’ve had before”
traducción
“cara a cara en la mesa de la cocina esto es todo lo que esperaba ahora finalmente podemos tener la conversación que desearía haber tenido antes”
la primera parte habla de que estaban en casa (“kitchen table” tambíen lo usan para referirse a “home”) y se sentaron a hablar de toda la mierda por la que pasaban, con “esa conversación” no se refiere a una discusión donde se preguntaban si se amaban o no, en esa conversación se desahogaban, compartían el dolor y la frustración y ambos se dieron apoyo mutuo.
WE MADE IT
lo hicieron, juntos
STUNT LYRIC EN WE MADE IT
original
“‘cause we made it, underestimated and always underrated” (...) “knew that we would be alright, from the first time” (...) “never coming down with your hand in mine”
traducción
“porque lo logramos, menospreciados y siempre subestimados” (...) “sabía que ibamos a estar bien, desde la primera vez” (...) “nunca me derrumbaré con tu mano en la mía”
aca hay una conexión con too young: en too young habla de como les dijeron que nunca iban a lograrlo y aca habla de como lo lograron a pesar de todo lo que les dijeron, mientras esten juntos, nada puede derrumbarlos.
original
“we were only kids, just tryna work it out wonder what they'd think if they could see us now”
traducción
“nosotros sólo éramos niños, sólo intentando resolverlo me pregunto qué pensarían ellos si pudieran vernos ahora”
otra conexión con too young: solo eran niños intentando lidiar con el closeting, lo lograron y ahora se preguntan que piensan los que les dijeron que nunca iban a lograrlo.
bonus: “si pudieran vernos ahora” eleanor y louis son una pareja pública, todos los pueden ver y saber de ellos...
original
“don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young done a pretty good job, dealing with it all when you’re here don’t need to say no more nothing in the world that i would change it for”
traducción
“no sé por qué nos ponen todo esto cuando eramos tan jóvenes, he hecho un buen trabajo, manejándolo todo cuando tú estás aquí no necesito decir nada más no hay nada en el mundo por lo que cambiaría esto”
otra referencia a too young: no entiende porque les pusieron tanta presión y responsabilidad siendo tan chiquitos. despues habla de que cuando esta con harry maneja la situación muy bien y de que a pesar de que la pasó y la pasa horrible en la industria, eligiría una y mil veces pasar por ello con tal de estar con el.
PERFECT NOW
harry amor, siempre vas a ser perfecta para mi
para empezar quiero decir que es la única canción con pronombres en walls, este dato no es menor ya que significa que intencionalmente quería remarcar el genero femenino (podría haberla hecho neutra también pero no, decidió usar pronombres femeninos). harry nos dió muchas pruebas de que también usa los pronombres femeninos y louis no se quedó atrás.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
la letra a mi parecer es bastante obvia, habla de las inseguridades de harry y de como louis le dice que no deje de ser quien es y que cada cosa de ella es perfecta.
habla de la ropa, de como tal vez harry por mas abierta que parezca, aun asi le da miedo vestirse tal y como le gustaría cuando esta con amigxs/familiares; habla del miedo a hacer cosas que ama, como bailar; habla de no querer llamar la atención, de querer esconderse, etc.
es una hermosa canción de amor, podemos ver lo enamorado que louis esta y de que no le importa los pronombres o la ropa, el siempre la va a amar y va a estar ahi para ayudarla en sus inseguridades. (x) (x)
DEFENCELESS
estoy indefenso, tengo tanto que perder
original
“i come runnin’ to you like a moth into a flame you tell me, “take it easy”, but it’s easier to say “wish i didn’t need so much of you” i hate to say, but i do. we’re sleepin’ on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams we wake up early morning and they’re still under the sheets i’m lost in my head, i’m spinnin’ again tryna find what to say to you”
traducción
“vengo corriendo hacia ti como una polilla en llamas me dices, “tomalo con calma”, pero es mas facil decir “desearia no necesitar tanto de ti” yo odio decirlo, pero lo hago. estamos durmiendo en nuestros problemas como si los resolviéramos en nuestros sueños nos levantamos temprano en la mañana y todavía están debajo de las sábanas. estoy perdido en mi cabeza, estoy girando de nuevo intentando encontrar qué decirte”
esta canción literalmente habla del closeting. primero habla de que cuando louis se enoja por algo que tienen que hacer (para los stunts) harry le dice que se lo tome con calma al lo que louis responde que es mas facil si el le dijese que desearía no amarlo tanto. el odia decir que sería todo mas facil si no se amasen, pero sabe que es así. despues habla en plural (esto es importante porqje remarca que es un problema por el que pasan ambos) diciendo que ambos duermen esperando levantarse y que todo este solucionado. y por último habla de como louis esta constantemente pensando en soluciones y consuelos para ambos.
original
“been up all night, all night, runnin’ all my lines but it’s only the truth been up all night, not sure how to say this right got so much to lose”
“never been so defenceless (oh-oh) never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) you just keep on buildin’up your fences (oh-oh) but i’ve never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) [...]”
traducción
“he estado despierto toda la noche, toda la noche, corriendo todas mis líneas pero es sólo la verdad he estado despierto toda la noche, no estoy seguro de cómo decir esto bien tengo mucho que perder”
“nunca he estado tan indefenso (oh-oh) nunca he estado tan indefenso (ooh-ooh) sigues construyendo tus cercas (oh-oh) pero nunca he estado tan indefenso (ooh-ooh) [...]”
estuvo toda la noche repasando todo lo que tiene que solucionar, todo lo que tiene que decir para fingir; no sabe como decirlo porque sabe que si lo dice puede perder mucho. (esto es literalmente un lyric sobre salir del closet, no necesita explicacion) dice que se siente indefenso a pesar de ver a harry construyendo se camino hacia el final, que no importa que vea la luz al final del tunel, el se siente vulnerable.
original
“no, you don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do and i can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove”
traducción
“no, no tienes que seguir siendo fuerte para mí y para ti actuando como si no sintieras dolor, sabes que sé que lo haces y no puedo entrar cuando estás perdido en tu orgullo pero no tienes nada que demostrar”
le dice a harry que se deje de hacer el que nada le afecta porque sabe que sufre tanto como el, que se abra asi el puede ayudarlo y que no se deje ganar por su orgullo.
original
“i hope that i’m not asking too much just wanna be loved by you (don’t you be so defensive) and i’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you”
traducción
“espero no preguntar demasiado sólo quiero ser amado por ti (no estés tan a la defensiva) y estoy demasiado cansado para ser duro solo quiero ser amado por ti”
esto necesita explicacion? es louis diciendole a harry que ya no le importa nada y solo quiere ser amado por el.
ONLY THE BRAVE
louis en el amor tiene que ser valiente
esta canción no habla sobre harry, habla sobre la sexualidad de louis pero me pareció correcto incluirla ya que le veo importancia y relación a su relación con el.
original
“pour mercy, mercy on me set fire to history i’m breaking my own rules i’m crying like a fool tall stories on the page short glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch but i never cared for love”
traducción
“derrama misericordia, ten piedad de mí prende fuego a la historia estoy rompiendo mis propias reglas estoy llorando como un tonto historias altas en la página breves glorias en el desvanecimiento he estado lo suficientemente cerca como para tocar pero nunca me preocupé por el amor”
“ten piedad de mi” “estoy rompiendo mis propias reglas y “estoy llorando como un tonto” se refieren a que louis sufrió mucho cuando descubrió su sexualidad y tuvo una etapa de autonegación, no todxs se aceptan al principio. “prende fuego la historia” e “historias altas en la página” habla de como históricamente la homosexualidad no fue aceptada. “breves glorias en el desvanecimiento he estado lo suficientemente cerca como para tocar” habla de las veces que se sientió cerca de salir del closet pero nunca termina pasando. “pero nunca me preocupé por el amor” nunca se preocupó por amar en la forma que le enseñaron: heterosexualmente.
original
“it’s a church of burnt romances and i’m too far gone to pray it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”
traducción
“es una iglesia de romances quemados y estoy demasiado lejos para rezar es una canción en solitario y es sólo para valientes”
primero habla de la iglesia (ya sabemos la opinión de la iglesia frente a la homosexualidad) la frase “romances quemados” habla de todas las parejas gay que no pudieron estar juntos porque la sociendad lo impedía (también era muy nornal en la antiguedad quemar a los homosexuales en la hoguera y también puede hacer referencia a eso, es un poco fuerte pero tiene sentido). “estoy demasiado lejos para rezar” habla de que esta muy lejos de ser lo que la iglesia espera y siente que dios no lo escucharía. “es una canción en solitario y es solo para los valientes” es una canción para la gente que a pesar de que se siente sola es valiente.
también hay que acalarar que las personas heterosexuales no tienen que ser valientes para amar, los heterosexuales son aceptados en todo el mundo y no tienen ni leyes que los perjudiquen ni millones de personas que piensan que son enfermos. decir que los heterosexuales también tienen que ser valientes para amar, es homofobico.
original
“if the truth tell darling, you feel like there ain’t enough dying stars in your sky it’s a tall tale and it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye (goodbye)”
traducción
“si la verdad dice cariño, tú sientes como si no hubiera suficientes estrellas moribundas en tu cielo es un cuento alto y es sólo hola, hola, no adiós (adiós)”
la primera parte habla de que al decir tu verdadera orientación perdes a muchas personas, las “estrellas moribundas” son las personas que te dejan y “tu cielo” es tu vida. la segunda parte habla de los “argumentos” homofobicos que la gente dice cuando te mostras como sos y de que no importa que te digan, vos seguís siendo como sos. (tall tale=historia muy exagerada)
original
“pour mercy, mercy on me i’ll fall upon my knees and they’ll say, “i told you so” come on, when you know, you know”
traducción
“derrama misericordia, ten piedad de mí, caeré de rodillas y ellos dirán: “te lo dije” vamos, cuando sabes, tú sabes”
en el momento que ya no pueda mas y “caiga de rodillas” (salga del closet) y pierda a muchas personas, va a haber alguien que le diga “viste, te dije que no debías decirlo”, el sabe que fue lo correcto, pero también sabe que en parte tienen razón, se lo dijeron y aún asi decidió ser libre.
original
“all the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”
traducción
“todas las sombras solitarias bailan desde que nacen hasta que mueren es una canción en solitario y es sólo para valientes”
sos quien sos desde que naces hasta que te morís, es una canción para las personas que se sienten solitarias pero aun asi son valientes.
claramente esta es solo mi interpretación, sus interpretaciones también son igual de válidas (en cuanto las puedan justificar obvio) no hay una interpretación correcta así que si lo interpretan distinto también esta bien
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eunsoyi · 4 years
Note
Could you do a Bokuto scenario of him telling/celebrating with his high school sweetheart that he made pro?
this one’s a bit long so im sorry for that
we made it
“you’ll never make it.”
those words were the first words you and your boyfriend, bokuto koutarou, heard as you accepted your diplomas. it was no secret that you were expected to take over the family business, and that koutarou would pursue volleyball, but because of those two different career choices, everyone around you thought that you’d never last long.
you just had to prove them wrong.
during high school graduation, each and every couple you knew was crying a waterfall of tears. that was probably what they called the “break up season”, since everyone’s going on their own way, it was obviously very difficult for people your age to pursue a relationship when you’re busy working on your own future. you saw koutarou holding back his tears as he looked at you. “are we.. through?”
“nope.” you smiled and squeezed his hand. “i’ll stay with you forever.”
he grinned and pecked your cheek.
one year after high school graduation, and koutarou was on the verge of breaking.
he walked in your family’s restaurant late at night while you were wiping plates and groggily dropped his sports bag on the floor.
“hey.” you smiled and handed him a cup of water. “you hungry?”
he took the cup and gulped its contents down. “yes.”
“give me five minutes.”
you were well aware that the road to being a professional volleyball player wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. you didn’t need to do your research, the man in front of you was living proof that it was very difficult. everyday, he’d go to the restaurant, most of the times after you closed, and he’d ask for you to feed him his favorite food: meat. if he had the strength, he’d tell you about his day. if not, he’d just gulf down the food on his plate and take you home with him.
you finally handed him his food and he did not hesitate to start eating. you propped your chin on to your hand in an observing pose. “how’s your day?” you asked, as usual. he pouted and sighed. “i’m so exhausted.”
ah, he’s in the mood to talk.
“what happened?”
he sighed as he gulped down his last spoon of rice and meat and proceeded to talk about how it was borderline exhausting for him to adjust to being teammates with crazy people, how little he had the time to eat, how his injuries were on the brink of getting worse, etc.
you then leaned forward and gave his forehead a kiss. “you’re doing great, koutarou.” he blushed and covered his face in his hands in response, making you giggle. you shuffled to the kitchen, and cleaned the remaining dishes before finally closing up for the day.
“let’s go home, y/n.” koutarou said in a husky and tired voice, holding your hand as both of you exit the restaurant.
a year later, you found yourself worrying over koutarou more often than usual.
his habit of going home late at night turned into not showing up for a whole week because of training. at first, you let him do his thing for a while since you wanted to support him as much as possible, but you had to make him stop after you got the call from the hospital saying he had collapsed from fatigue.
during the drive home, he did not utter a word and just looked at the car window instead. “you had me worried there.” you attempted to break the silence, but he did not respond.
when you got home, you made him promise to rest for at least three days before going back to vigorous training and he begrudgingly agreed. he also took this as a promise to not strain his body further for it not to hinder with his training.
until he collapsed once more. but he kept that a secret from you.
then once more.
then another.
then another, but that’s when you found out that his body almost gave up on him.
this time, you were fuming. you basically dragged him back to your house and yelled at him for god knows how long. he wasn’t listening, he wasn’t in the mood to. he knew you were saying something along the lines of ‘i was worried’ or ‘i don’t want you getting hurt’, but in that moment, koutarou was near past his breaking point. he was so exhausted, so tired, he could barely even look at you in the eye. when you finally stopped yelling, he said something he regretted saying, and he wished he shouldn’t have said that at all.
“let’s break up.”
silence. he still couldn’t lift his head to look at your reaction, but he was shocked at his own words. perhaps, this was the right thing to do. he did not want to worry you any further, and it hurts for him as well when you see him in such a fragile state.
“no.” you finally managed to speak out.
“what?” he said, finally looking at you.
“i am not breaking up with you, bokuto koutarou.” you said firmly. he tried his best to suppress a sigh of relief. “um, why? i only cause you worry and you’re probably getting distracted with your business because of me-“
“i promised you, didn’t i? i’ll be with you forever.” you cut him off. that sigh he was suppressing finally came out of his mouth and he found himself hugging you and crying.
“thank you, y/n. i love you, so so much.” he sniffled while his head was buried on your shoulder.
“i love you, too, koutarou.”
you could tell he was improving as time passed by.
he invited you to his practice games, and you were shocked as to how this ace still had something up his sleeve. you smiled to yourself whenever he would make that iconic straight shoot, and his reactions were even funnier. his fangirls were wildly cheering for him and at the same time adjusting to his weird tactics.
he’s so different when he’s on the court, you thought to yourself, admiring him once more.
after the game, he ran up towards you past the screaming female teenagers and gave you a hug, eyes beaming. “so? whaddya think?”
“you’re amazing, as usual.” you replied, ignoring the looks his fans gave you.
he grinned and noisily cheered for himself, much to your dismay. you tried to shush his loud whooing but ultimately failed.
“i hope i get picked.” you heard him whisper as the two of you were walking back home. you looked at his face and realized the beam on his eyes were now faint and was replaced with worry. you sighed, thinking at how different koutarou acts when he’s with you. you were beyond thankful that he decided to share his weaknesses and worries with you, but of course, the lingering doubt of whether can you handle the pressure or not remained.
“i want you to be proud of me.” he said once more, brushing his thumb on your knuckle.
but thankfully, koutarou knew how to wipe those feelings of doubt away.
“i’m already proud of you.” you giggled.
“i want you to be prouder!”
you thought it was impossible for you to even be prouder. you were the proudest you’ve ever been for him.
or at least, that’s what you thought.
you were so busy with the restaurant that you couldn’t watch koutarou’s practice game, much to his dismay. you did promise that you’d cook him dinner once he got home, and he hesitantly accepted the offer.
customers kept flowing in and out of your family’s restaurant that it made you feel so tired for the first time in a while. you loved the rush, but you did not love the fatigue that came with it.
when night fell, you sighed in relief as you flipped the sign from ‘open’ to ‘closed’. now, the only thing you had to do was clean up and wait for koutarou to arrive.
you were basically done with everything when he finally showed up, his hands bandaged, his knees swollen, and he was holding an ice pack. you were about to ask what happened to him that made him look so beat up when he suddenly crushed you into a bear hug.
“koutarou? what’s wrong?” you frantically asked as his warm tears soaked your sleeve.
he mumbled something incoherent, so you asked him once more.
“i made pro.”
you widened your eyes and hugged him back. “wait, really?”
“yup. msby black jackals. i’m a professional volleyball player now, y/n.” he replied, pulling away but his tear-stained orbs gazed into your eyes, making you well up in tears as well.
“you made it. i’m so, so proud of you, koutarou.” you sobbed. he smiled and gave you a kiss. you knew he had a lot of struggles, and seeing him succeed was enough to make you the happiest person in the planet.
“nope, we made it.”
yea im in love with bokuto so much pls 😔
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goblinmanifesto · 3 years
Text
Ive already accidentally deleted this once so fucking kill me (I forgot to save it).
⚠️TW FOR ANXIETY, TOURETTES, SLIGHT SELF HARM⚠️
But this is my post for @doinmybesthere Mental Health Awareness May collab! I will be doing Bokuto Koutarou. To explain a bit, to cope with bullshit that is life, I accidentally made myself a coping mechanism that I loving refer to as the ‘Klaus Hargreeves‘ (if you know anything about that character, you already know where my mental state is) because I can’t remember what my therapist said the actual name for it was. To put it simply, it’s like overactive day dreaming. I act out and create scenarios in my head to comfort myself, most of the time using characters or real people as an enabler for the comfort I wish to gain. Side effects being; if caught, considered crazy, sometimes don’t realize I’m doing it which can lead to awkward situations, sometimes I fuck up what’s real and what’s not. So, in these little stories, I will be retelling scenarios I have created through this coping mechanism that relate to both Bokuto and my mental problems! Each will be labeled with what they deal with so you can skip the one that might trigger you. Enjoy and happy reading! (I WILL ALSO BE MENTIONING AND USING STIMMING) ((I will probably use this to make other fics like this in the future mentioning my other ~stuff~ but in the meantime this is all I want to do so enjoy!))
⚠️LAST TW⚠️
1. ~Anxiety, Self harm, Mentions of Stimming~ He should’ve been home an hour ago! I was pacing in the living room, shaking hands holding my phone. It was 7:13 and Koutarou was supposed to be home at 6:00. I was spiraling and I could feel it, but I didn't know what to do about it. Id sent him text after text, but he was yet to respond. I glanced at my cell, only stopping my frantic shuffling to focus my attention on reading the screen;
Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12] -Unread-
My eyes scanned the messages again, not leaving the blue screen until until my shin collided with the side of the coffee table. I hadn’t even realized I had started pacing again. I checked the texts I had sent to Akaashi as well, since I knew he was at that practice too, but I hadn’t gotten any responses from him either. Slipping my phone screen up onto the table I continued my pacing, not even processing when my finger nails found their way under my teeth, and how when they left my mouth to scratch at my neck or claw at my shirt, my teeth resorted to gnawing at my lip instead, tearing up the thin skin. All habits I was trying to kill but didn’t have enough brain power to focus on not doing them. My eyes constantly searched the driveway for the headlights of any car, any car at all, but they always came up with nothing. It was 7:24 when my phone struck with the sound of text, the bing of anticipation sent me diving for, and consequently almost dropping, my phone in an attempt to find out if it was Koutarou. It was!
Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12]
-Read-
Im so sorry!! Yes practice did end up running late! But something else happened and I
wasn’t able to text you! I’m not mad about
anything I promise!! What happened is also
minor and nothing to worry about and I’ll explain when I get home in about ten
[7:21] minutes!! I’m so sorry!! -Read-
I sighed, relieved, the weight on my chest and in my head dissolved and I felt like I could finally breathe again. Though, as I came down from my anxiety rush, I became aware of a lot of things all at once. The first was a good deal of pain. From knocking my leg into a table and pacing for over an hour, to bitten lips and nails, and my scraped neck. I groaned, I need to get a better handle on this.
But that wasnt important. Koutarou was okay and on his way home! I waited at the window, feeling a bit like a dog waiting on its owner (that was a kink joke yes), and leaped to the front door when I saw his car in the driveway. Throwing open the door, I pulled him inside the second I could get my hands on him and pulled him through the doorway. The moment he was inside, I shoved myself into his arms in a tight hug, so glad he was okay. He returned the hug and held me tightly, I let out a shuddering breathe and he let out comforting sounds I sometimes use to stim. “Hey, hey, hey, I’m so sorry to have you worry, it was about Akaashi! We were running extra practice with a handful of the other guys and I literally had half a text to you written out when he a spike to the face! I was the only one left with a car so I drove him to hospital! I’m so sorry you are so worried you sent like 15 texts! I’m so-“ I cut him short with a hand over his mouth since that was one of the only ways to get him to stop talking. “Kou, it’s okay, I understand, it just really scared me ‘is all-“ he pried my hand off his face but held it in his own.
”I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t apologize for it, whether I was in complete control of the situation or not! Which I was not, by the way, no control what-so-fucking-ever, I had four other guys in the car and one of them was bleeding and concussed, it was chaos!!” His eyes were wide and he went off on the stress of the situation and, for a moment, I forgot that it was 7:26 at night on a Thursday and I had a biology test in the morning, and that Koutarou just got home and I hadn’t even eaten yet and all the other things that werent right in the world. Everything was fine in that moment. But that ended when Koutarou took a good hard look at me. The redness and scratch marks on my neck, the bitten to bleeding finger nails, the small bruise forming on my shin, my blotchy face and my probably-way-too-red lips. He stopped dead in his words and I felt my eyebrows scrunch up.
“Whats wrong?-“
“You did the things again didn’t you?!” He sounded distressed and his broad shoulders sunk. Koutarous hands rubbed my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with the most concerned look I’d ever seen. He pulled me back to his chest again and promised it wouldn’t happen again.
7:46, Koutarou insisted on taking care of my ‘injuries’ since he was who I was having anxiety over anyway. I protested a little, but gave up when he gave me the baby-owl eyes.
First, he had wrapped bandaids on my fingers. Thankfully, they were black, and I made a comment on it was like a 2-second manicure just to hear him chuckle.
Then, Kou applied a moisturizer to my neck. “Kou, I can do this myself-“
”Nope! I insist!”
”I’m not a child-“
”Don’t care, I’m doing it so just shush up and let me do what I need to do!”
Next, he made me apply ice to my bruise even though it was tiny and caused by a damn two-foot-tall coffee table.
Lastly, he gave me chapstick. Again, wouldn’t let me do it myself, so I made several sarcastic remarks to make him blush, all working quite well. Koutarou had to tell me to stop giggling multiple times so I could stay still.
”Alright, are you done playing nurse?”
”Forgive me for wanting to take care of you!!” He stuck his tongue out at me with an audible “bleh!” and I cackled.
”You are forgiven, Nurse Bokuto.”
2. ~Tourette’s, Stimming~ My neck painfully popped when it jerked to the left, my tics had been bad all day and I no clue why. Could be exams, or the fucking toaster for all I knew. I hissed, rubbing at my neck and adjusting the water can I almost dropped, trying to continue about my Saturday.
It was obnoxious, really, having to me-proof everything around in case I end up kicking it, dropping it, or hitting it. My joints constantly cracking and snapping and jolting in the strangest ways at any given moment. Sometimes repeating what people say back at them in perfect mirror-like fashion. Though that last one can be kind of funny.
Clicking my toungue to make nice noises to try and stim the tic away, I returned back to my plants. I could feel them chuckling at me and, in that moment, I understood everything about Crowley from ‘Good Omens’.
I heard the door unlock in the other room and I put my can down as a precaution and peeked out of the doorway.
A moment later, Koutarou popped through the door after his morning jog. He called out; “Hey, hey, hey!” as a greeting.
I felt my hands go up behind my head and I thought Oh gods dammit, and then my jaw jutted forward in a very unattractive way and I repeated his phrase in the same manner as him, then immediately dropped, as my body decreed.
I groaned, looking up at him, who looked slightly bewildered at my little madness ritual. His hair laid flat on his head, he had chosen not to mess with it this morning, much to my delight, his amber eyes a little wide and his eyebrows raised. He was barely even in the house yet.
We just kind of stared at each other for a hot second before I awkwardly waved ‘hello’ and cracked a weird grin. He grinned back, his more pleasant than mine. Walking over, he opened his arms for a hug, and I accepted, since he wasn’t all that sweaty this time around, and it was the least I could do since he had to witness that.
Koutarou planted a kiss on the top of my head, cheering “Good morning!”
I muttered a response into his shirt.
“One of those days, huh?” I nodded.
“Coffee? I think we have muffins in the cabinet?” I nodded again and he lead me into the kitchen to set up some breakfast. It was 9:00 am on a Saturday after all. A weird Saturday, but watching Koutarou finagle through the cabinets, it couldn’t be that bad.
That is all for now! Have a wonderful day and I am going to sleep for three years see y’all (edited: June 18 2021, because I can’t spell)
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| Wishing It Was You |
Fandom: Obey Me!
Pairing: Mammon x (GN)Reader
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 1k
Summary: Mammon calls you at ungodly hours of the morning, fitting for a demon, but what does he want? (we all know)
a/n: wtf consistently writing fics is weird for me, don’t get used to being this well fed. also beel owns my heart yet im out here writing nasty shit for mammon hmm
there isn’t much nasty from reader’s side because writing gn smut can be complicated at times for me
It was painfully late when your phone had started ringing and part of you thought about rolling over and ignoring whoever had decided to call you considering how late it was, but you go to check the Caller ID before making your decision. When you noticed it was Mammon who was calling you decided to pick up, because you had promised him after you returned to the human world that you would always answer when he called, even if it was way after midnight and you were feeling tired.
“I can’t believe you made me wait so long for you to pick up!” You’re greeted by Mammon's shouts that almost make him seem offended by how long it took you to answer, the second you accept the call, you roll your eyes despite knowing he can’t see you doing so.
“Be grateful I even picked up because I thought about rolling over and going to sleep.” There’s a silence over the line for a moment, which makes you think he’s sulking because you were going to ignore him.
“Rude.” He mutters, yep he was sulking.
“Well I didn’t know you were calling me until I bothered to check.”
“Oh so now you can’t even be bothered talking to me?” You can hear him pouting over the line and it makes you want to laugh and sigh simultaneously.
“If you’re going to act like that maybe I’ll just hang up on you,” you jokingly threaten.
“What? No!” His voice almost cracked from how quickly his tone changed, causing you to let out a small laugh.
“I’m only joking.” He mumbles something that you can’t quite make out but you decide not to worry about it. “So why exactly are you calling me after midnight?” You’re met with silence again, when he finally does speak again he’s struggling to get the words right.
“I-i just wanted to hear your voice,” you could just picture how flustered he must’ve been while saying that.
“Are you feeling alright? You sounded like you were in pain trying to say that,” you tease and he lets out a groan of annoyance. “What?” you ask, pretending that you weren’t teasing him.
“You’re not even here and you’re driving me crazy,” he murmurs and you’re not entirely sure how to respond.
“Sorry?” It’s more of a question than an apology, which he takes a moment to respond to, you wonder if something is wrong due to how quiet Mammon is.
“I had a dream about you,” he says eventually.
“What sort of dream?” You hear him suck in a deep breath, as he hesitates to speak.
“...a sexy one.” He confesses and you grin.
“The Great Mammon having a wet dream about a human how unsightly!” He lets out a growl and you can’t ignore the small back flip your stomach makes upon hearing it.
“Don’t tease me! It’s your fault.”
“You’re blaming me for your imagination?”
“No! It’s just you’re always in my thoughts and it’s so annoying.”
“Still don’t see how it’s my fault or my problem.” Your tone has him back-peddling pretty quickly.
“I uh wait, sorry,” he’s hesitant again, pausing to try and muster the willpower to say his next sentence. “Listen I tried to make it go away... but I couldn’t finish,” the thought of Mammon’s hand wrapped around his cock while crying out your name flashes through your mind quickly causing heat to pool at your sex.
“Are you touching yourself right now?”
“no I was um,” his voice trails off but you finish his sentence for him.
“Waiting for my permission? such a good boy,” you coo, his breath immediately hitches at your praise, “well what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to help me finish- please,” he sounds so needy as he pleads with you.
“Well considering you asked so nicely, I will. You can touch yourself,” you pause listening to the rustling over the side of the line, “so what happened in your dream?” He breathes in deeply.
“You were on your knees, my dick was in your mouth.”
“Is that what you want for me to do suck your cock? Is that what you’re picturing right now?” Your words cause a small whimper to escape him, you may not be able to tell how fast or how exactly he was touching himself but you knew he was probably speeding up the movements of his hands.
“Y-yes.” His breathy reply was proof of your suspicions.
“Mhm what else happened?”
“Then you ah rode me,” his sentence abruptly stops as a curse followed by moan fall from his lips, the sound makes your fingers trace your aching sex through your clothes. “I was so close to finishing in my dream but then you stopped in my dream a-and I woke up,” you smirk, noting how even in his dreams you were slightly sadistic.
“That’s a shame, lucky for you I won’t be as mean as my dream self. Are you getting close?” he curses again, before answering.
“Y-yeah.”
“You know I had a dream about you the other night,” you trail off remembering your dream vividly.
“You did?”
“Yes, I was face down on the bed while you were fucking me like an animal,” the mental image makes him groan.
“Fuck- I’m going to-” you quickly cut him off so you can finish telling him about your dream.
“But that’s not even the best part, when you made me cum in my dream, guess what I called you?” you can hear him trying to control himself while he waits for you to continue, “Mammon-sama.” Your finish your sentence in a low voice and you’re met with a curse and a strangled moan as he finishes.
You listen to his heavy breathing over the line, waiting for him to regain his breath so he can start talking again, silently wishing that you could’ve seen him when he came. Your body yearning for him or at least some form of attention other than your teasing fingers.
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Baby Love - Part 5
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
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The car was silent as i sat staring at the scan photo, i had just come out from seeing my doctor and having everything confirmed. Chris and i had both cried when we saw the image on the screen and then we heard the heart beat!
"You okay?" Chris asked reaching out and taking hold of one of my hands.
"Yeah I'm good" i smiled giving his hand a reassuring squeeze "just taking it all in you know..... this is our baby!"
"Our perfect little bean" he grinned brigig my hand up to place a kiss on the back of my hand.
"Sure is"
"So i was thinking, we should tell people"
"What.... who?"
"Well my family for starters, anyone you wanna tell?"
"You know i dont talk to my family Chris, i not telling them anything. Aint we supposed to wait for 3 months before blabbing?"
"Says who?"
"Everyone! Theres more risk of things going wrong in the first 12 weeks"
"Well your already at 8 and the doctor said everything looks great"
"That doesn't mean things cant go wrong! Chris your family don't even know we're more than friends! We cant just drop this on them"
"Ok so we'll go visit, we'll tell them we're together now and then in a few weeks we'll tell them about the baby. Sound good?"
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2 days later i was sat at the kitchen table in the Evans family home talking to Chris's mom Lisa, Chris had been constantly fussing over me causing Lisa to look at us suspiciously.
"Okay, whats going on with you two?"
"Nothing...."
"Christopher dont lie to me"
"im not!" he said quickly before laughing nervously, for an actor he sure wasnt being very convincing!
"oh my god Evans just tell her already, your not fooling anyone with that nervous laughter of yours" i rolled my eyes playfully.
"tell me what?? Whats going on?"
"Y/N's pregnant" he blurted out making me freeze all movements, i swear i stopped breathing for a second..... did he really just do that?!!
"What?? Oh my god sweetheart thats great news!" Lisa beamed getting up from her chair and wrapping her arms around me "congratulations"
"I cant believe you just said that....." i mumbled looking at Chris who finally realised i had meant for him to tell his mom we were dating not that i was pregnant!
"I didnt even know you were seeing anyone"
"See thats the thing Lisa...."
"Its mine mom" Chris spoke up, Lisa let go of me and turned to face her son looking very confused.
"You got Y/N pregnant?...."
"Yeah, we're together now. Have been for a while"
"But you never said anything....."
"We wanted to make sure it was gonna work out before telling anyone, then when i was away filming Y/N got sick"
"Thought it was flu, turns out im pregnant" i shrugged like it wasnt a big thing.
"When you were filming.... but that was months ago" Lisa looked at Chris with wide eyes, he was nodding with a smile plastered on his face.
"Im about 8 weeks along, we only got it confirmed with the doctor 2 days ago. I was convinced the test was wrong.... but here, this is your grandchild" i said taking the scan photo from my bag and handing it to her. Lisa held a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with tears, i looked at Chris nervously.... were these good tears or was she upset that her son got me pregnant??
"Mom you okay?" Chris asked
"Yeah. Im just..... this is such good news. I always said you two should be together, i told your sisters and Scott hundreds of times that Y/N was perfect for you" she gushed "they said it would never happen, that Y/N already put up with you enough" she laughed.
"That is true" i nodded before laughing along with her.
"hey!" he whined pouting like a sulking child that just made me laugh even more.
"awww i didnt mean it, i love spending time with you"
"I dont believe you now"
"What, the fact i spend most of my time with you when your not away filming isnt proof enough huh?"
"Fair point" he laughed pulling me into his arms and kissing me on the forehead.
"you two are so cute"
"Oh mom please stop, dont make this weird"
"Im sorry, im just so happy for you both. You wait until the others hear about this! Your dad will be over the moon Chris and your sisters and Scott.... when are you going to tell them?"
"Um i dont know..... we kinda wanted to wait for the 3 months to pass before we anounced anything"
"You can tell your family babe, i just dont want it being public knowledge yet. Im not ready to deal with that stress, its not good for the baby and you know im gonna get hate from some of your fans"
"Oh sweetie im sure it wont be that bad..." Lisa started to say until i scoffed
"I got so much hate online when i first got spotted out with Chris, until it became public knowledge that i was just his best friend. Can you imagine the reaction me being pregnant will get?? The thought of it actually terrifies me"
"Maybe we can try to keep it under wraps, no one ever has to know"
"Thats crazy mom, how am i going to do that? We cant keep Y/N locked away for the next 7 months, she's not gonna be able to hide it for much longer and Im eventually going to be seen out with my kid"
"I know honey, its just times like this i wish you werent famous. I want you to be able to enjoy this time..... both of you"
"We're gonna do our best do that".
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As i walked out of the bathroom wearing one of Chris's t-shirts he smiled instantly.
"What?"
"Your wearing one of my shirts again?"
"So?.... your shirts are comfy" i shrugged getting into bed beside him.
"Im not going to have any clean shirts the rate your going sweetheart"
"Maybe its part of my plan, if you don't have clean shirts then you'll have to go without"
"Oh right is that what it is?" He chuckled pulling me into his arms so that my back was to his chest.
"Maybe a little" i laughed quietly "so today went well..."
"Yeah my mom was over the moon" he agreed pressing kisses to my neck "im sorry i blurted out about the baby, i honestly thought thats what you meant"
"Its fine"
"So your not mad?"
"Of course not" i replied stroking his arm that was wrapped around my waist "now go to sleep, im exhausted" we both chuckled and kissed goodnight.
After a few moments of silence i felt Chris shifting around, he usually did this when something was on his mind.
"What is it?" I mumbled sleepily.
"Nothing, go to sleep sweetheart"
"Evans i cant sleep when you keep fidgeting, spill it.... whats on your mind?" I turned around in his arms so that i was facing him.
"You know i have that Charity Event next week?"
"Yeah..."
"Would you come with me?....not just as my best friend, i want people to know that your my girlfriend".
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Baby love tags:
@jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony
@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997
@ajosieface @afuckingshituniverse
@chmedic @esoltis280 @southerngracela
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grannygerd · 4 years
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I’m Lynn from PVRIS! AMA
I’m Lynn from PVRIS. We just put out our new album Use Me which you can listen to HERE. This Saturday, we’re going to be playing our first album White Noise front to back in its entirety for the first time ever. You can get tickets for the live stream HERE.
Proof: https://imgur.com/9K4IgJf
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DieDunkleFritte: Hey Lynn, would you rather have really small hands or really small feet? Best regards from germany :D pvrisofficial: Feet!!! Need normal sized hands to play instruments! haha
Nikkiestables: Lynn!!! I was in the US for my exchange and was going to FINALLY see you in person but I couldn’t:( do you think in the future you would tour Asia? Which parts would you like to explore? (Please say Hong Kong) pvrisofficial: We'd love to tour Asia more! We've loved the places we've been in Japan, Singapore, & South Korea so far! Would love to add Hong Kong!
ShadeOfNothing: Hey Lynn! I’ve been a PVRIS fan Since White Noise and I’ve loved seeing the band’s sound evolve through the years. I know you’re a huge believer in astrology, past lives, and the paranormal, so I was wondering if there were any crazy experiences you had witnessed or drew inspiration from while writing/producing Use Me. Thanks so much! pvrisofficial: yessssssss I am a nut. I didnt make Use Me in a haunted church this time but i DO think I stayed at a haunted airbnb. Food kept disappearing and then one night a giant ghostly handprint was left on my guitar case and my hand was way too small to have created it.
hinterscape: Hi Lynn! I've been following you guys since ~2014, you're awesome and I look up to you. Do you see yourself making music forever or how long do you see it if not? pvrisofficial: FOR-E-VER! It might take different forms and go through different stages but i think i will always be creating music!
imaliveunfortunately: Hi Lynn! First of all I love you and the style of music you've put out recently. I saw you at Reading last year, and in Manchester in 2017 so I'm really happy to seeing PVRIS get the exposure it deserves :) So it's gotta be asked, I understand there's issues with the label, but what are the chances of Mvdonna and Blood On My Hands being released? Whether it be as singles, on a new EP, the next album, etc? They're just damn good tracks pvrisofficial: I want them to come out SO BAD too haha. I want to make sure the production is perfect so its now a matter of finding the right collaborator for them.
CookThePasta: Do you believe in life after love? pvrisofficial: yes
OldManMalekith: Hi Lynn! How did working with JT on Use Me differ from your previous experiences with producers? Everyone that I've seen or heard work with him puts it as a really positive experience, and he helps make great stuff! pvrisofficial: He is the BEST. He was very similar to Blake in the sense that he was incredibly nurturing and encouraging, dedicated to making sure it was 100% everything I wanted and always stood up for me if the label ever tried to change it. His production style is definitely different but its extremely diverse. It's a lot punchier and crisper and a bit more minimal than in the past but i think it almost makes things more impactful that way!
villanelleinsuits: Hi Lynn! You’re a creative genius, thanks for existing. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?? pvrisofficial: I would love to live in the UK countryside!!! Maybe Bath or something.
Queenio01: How are you feeling today? pvrisofficial: Sleepy but EXCITED to rehearse!
dancorcoran: How often do you get recognised by fans in day to day life? pvrisofficial: Not too often! I usually get recognized at coffee shops and starbucks though? and Lush hahaha
jessica_pasta: Hi Lynn!!! Was wondering how do you make your synth patches? What synth sounds are your favorites? Thanks so much! Love PVRIS and all that you do ❤️❤️❤️❤️ pvrisofficial: I use Zebra a lot and also use a Prophet Rev2. One of my favorite things is to throw synths through different effects to get an entirely new sound!
ImadaPC: Hi Lynn, I got a question. What inspires you to make music and why? pvrisofficial: What inspires me is wanting to hear something I havent heard! I want to hear all my favorite artists and influences into one thing so that's usually how PVRIS stuff is inspired haha.
staceelogreen: What are your stand out albums of this year!:) pvrisofficial: Great Q! 070 Shake - Modus Vivendi Tinashe - Songs For You (technically 2019 but I've been jamming it all year) They. - The Amanda Tape KAYTRANADA - Bubba (2019 but it came out late 2019 so it counts as 2020 for me!) Howling - Colure
DH00338: What are you most excited about in terms of this new era of PVRIS? pvrisofficial: More writing!! and more collaborations!
creewitch: Hiya Lynn! I hope your morning is going well. When have you felt the proudest of yourself and why? ☺️ pvrisofficial: Oooo good Q! I always think there's room for improvement so it's hard to feel pride, but I am definitely grateful for my resilience through the crazy shit haha.
liky_gecko: Because you’re from the Boston area, what are your favorite spots to eat/hang out there? I may be going to school there pvrisofficial: Do itttt! My fav spots are a little outside of the city.... the Crane Estate, Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Maudslay State Park in Newburyport, Portsmouth NH, Shedd Park Cemetery in Lowell.
goszkv: Hi Lynn! Was wondering if you'll ever consider coming to Poland :( ofc post corona pvrisofficial: yes!
cecy_db_11: Hi Lynn! Can't wait to see you guys this Saturday. How do you feel once the songs you write (your personal feelings and thoughts) are available for the world to listen? Do you get used to that over time? pvrisofficial: Still getting used to that to be honest. Once songs are out, I weirdly stop listening to them. Prior to that I listen in the car a lot and drive around testing songs out haha.
musicfan1976: Do you think the spring 2020 shows will still happen or be rescheduled again due to Covid? Stay healthy and take care. pvrisofficial: I truly have no idea.... :( you take care too! <3
yikesmiles: Hey Lynn! I hope you’re well! I’ve always been curious, what was it that inspired you to make music? pvrisofficial: Good Q! WHen I write, I try to write music that I want to hear that hasn't crossed my path yet.
LeahLNurse: Is there any unreleased songs you wish made it onto White Noise? pvrisofficial: Nope!
JRuiz1775: Hey Lynn! I remember the first time I saw and heard you guys was when you opened for Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. I was hooked and have tried to see you guys anytime you are in my area. My question for you is what is your favourite tour experience? What is your dream tour to be on? pvrisofficial: There's SO many favorite tour experiences. I love touring the UK and Europe a lot, exploring before shows is my favorite thing and has some of my favorite memories. Our UK/EU tour with BMTH was one of my favorites.
ac-36: hi lynn! i love your music so much, it means a lot to me. if you were to remake your past music now, how do you think it would be different, and what do you think the future direction of the band will be? pvrisofficial: I would definitely approach the drum production a bit different but keep it pretty similar with the other textures/instruments! Future direction can go anywhere! Definitely want to keep taking risks and trying new things, but still keeping it dark!
staceelogreen: If you could go back in time to give yourself advice, what would you say to your past self? pvrisofficial: Take it easy on yourself.
NouveauJacques: Hi Lynn, huge fan and I love the power behind your music. Do you ever write songs that are too emotional and feel conflicted about putting into an album? pvrisofficial: usually if they feel too emotional or heavy, I know they need to be released haha
Defiant-Strawberry37: Hi Lynn, hope everything's okay with you and the band. I'd like to ask you what PVRIS' era you think is the best and why? Hope I can see you guys someday soon acting in Portugal. Love you all! PS: why so Lynnda? *portuguese pun intended, beautiful = linda in portuguese* ly! pvrisofficial: Thanks! I love every era tbh but I'm definitely always the most excited on the present moment!
pvrisbae: youre the cutest little soul ily. whats ur fav song at the moment? pvrisofficial: Brian showed it to me! It's "Too Late" by Washed Out.
agnespvris: Hi Lynn!! Have you had any good laughter when you've been looking through the #pvrismemes ?? pvrisofficial: oh you betcha.
whothefuckisrvmi: ok so im not understanding shit about this app but im here for you pvrisofficial: thank u
vioIentbounce: hi lynn! what do you think will be your favorite song from use me to play live? pvrisofficial: I think.... Good To Be Alive or Gimme A Min
jaydenc30: hi lynn I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and everything you do! I hope you are doing well, what was the first song you wrote for use me? What’s does PVRIS’s future look like to you? pvrisofficial: First song for Use Me was Old Wounds! I wrote it before the second album even came out haha
IrlandaBDelao: Hi lynn, would you be down to open commisions for tattoos? If so, how much would you charge for a drawing? pvrisofficial: I wish! I do not have time to at the moment :( but if I have time in the future, you will be first to know so you can get first dibs!
CookThePasta: are you really looking at all of our memes?? pvrisofficial: trying OUR BEST!!
nonoplznowhy: why did your parents name you Lynn? pvrisofficial: Lyndsey* but they always call me Lynn or Lynds. I was named after my mom's childhood bestfriend named Lynn, she passed away when my mom was pretty young :(
golrip: What is your favourite song on awknohawnoh and why? That album literally changed my life and shaped me into the person I am today so I would really love knowing your opinion. also: what's your favourite the weeknd song/album? pvrisofficial: NOLA 1! It was my favorite to write and the memory around that time is magical. We wrote it in New Orleans and it's my favorite city.
bnizz95: Hey Lynn!! I saw you guys perform for the first time live in Cambridge last September and im so excited about the stream. I was wondering what your favorite song/songs off this album are? Also, do you still steal rosemary from your neighbors? Hahaha pvrisofficial: hahaha I have a little rosemary plant that I use now :)
vioIentbounce: are you still making collages? if not, have you taken up any new artistic hobbies lately?❤️ pvrisofficial: Little collaging here and there :) I've been researching a lot of interior design and fashion design lately!
fee-lixdawkins: Hey Lynn! Excited for the livestream! I know you’re an AFI fan. What is your favorite album and song(s) by them? Would you ever want to tour with them? I’d kill to see that happen! Take care! pvrisofficial: Brian is the bigger AFI fan! I cant pick a fave Im scared
ivykrvft: How does it feel to (kinda) be performing again as an entire band after all these months? pvrisofficial: Really good!! Definitely going to be weird without you guys in front of us!!
Ariana_0918: hi lynn <3 i wanted to know when you saw florence in concert what was your favorite song she performed live? pvrisofficial: Cosmic Love. She played it first and it was acoustic, I instantly cried hahahaha
TheSinger_Z: Hey Lynn! How old were you when you first started writing songs? What is the most memorable prank/joke that you have pulled or has been pulled on you while on tour? How many instruments do you play and what’s your favourite? I just want to say thank you, you’re my biggest inspiration when it comes to music (I sing and I’m learning to play guitar and hope to do it professionally when I’m older as I’m only 14 😬), and I’m really thankful for you guys. I got meet and greet tickets for November 30th for the White Noise stream, so see you then! pvrisofficial: i was in the 3rd grade. the songs were horrible. Its not really a prank but we love having our in ear monitor tech do the worm on stage sometimes. Extra points when he does it in costume. I can play 7 instruments! Looking to add more to the arsenal over time. I love piano a lot and drums. Keep it up, can't wait to see you be a star!!! ALso the livestream is the 21st! DOnt want you to miss it :)
CheezeGrenade: I missed out on a lot of concerts growing up and I couldn't make it to a concert out of state that I bought tickets to about a year ago. Will you guys play through Awkohawnoh again in anyway? Such as Half/Winter/No Mercy/Walk Alone. Litterally that album and the one before got me through alot of depressive phases in my life and Awk has really inspired alot of my writing for a series I want to create someday. pvrisofficial: I cant wait for you to start writing it! You got this! We will be playing through AWKOHAWNOH but the date is not announced yet :)
srankie: Are y'all Pats fans? Red Sox? Bruins? Cause if not the Eagles family will accept you with open arms pvrisofficial: NEW ENGLAND/BOSTON ALL DAY BABY!
macauley7: Could u please ask harry styles if u could tour with him? I need a pvris x harry watermelon sugar vibes thanks pvrisofficial: I'll call him right now.
brisbubbles: Hey, Lynn! Can’t wait for Saturday! I was wondering, how do you feel about singing old tracks from WN since you relearned how to sing? What has that experience been like? Wishing you and Brian the best! xzlinx: I am wondering about this as well. Maybe I am just nosey but I wonder about the process of retraining your voice and what exactlt happened. It must have been insanely difficult on her mental health but goddamn what a trooper bc Use Me is unbelievable! pvrisofficial: Great questions!!! Singing WN is definitely a little challenging to begin with because I'm older and my tone isn't the tone of 19 year old me anymore haha. A big thing was anxiety which caused me to choke up a lot and tense my chords. Then when i was being coached, out of fear of damaging something we had to rebuild and start small and light which we think caused the chords/muscles to atrophy, which set it back further haha. I eventually went to another coach who then was able to take my "retrained" voice and then strengthen it up and rebuild it back to where it was before!
ImOnlyHalfAlive: Hey Lynn! First, I can't express just how much PVRIS has meant to me over the last couple of years. Your music has helped me through so much, and I will forever be grateful. My question is: What's a life mantra you've always lived by? pvrisofficial: Life mantra (theres a lot but this one I always connect to when it comes to career): Patience and persistence is key.
Okosano: Hi Lynn and greeting from Germany! The one and only important question here : Whats your favorite comfort food? pvrisofficial: Favorite comfort food...... Indian food! My absolute favorite.
Ok-Personality1480: What’s your favorite tea pls 🤠 pvrisofficial: Throat coat for singing, housemade chai for joy.
CookThePasta: Do you know the muffin man? pvrisofficial: yes
LynnGvnnFvn: What were the creative differences between writing an album like White Noise or AWKOHAWNOH and Use Me? pvrisofficial: Age, time, locations, different producers and collaborators!
unit525: How are the submissions for the meme competition looking? Any front runners emerging? pvrisofficial: It's a CLOSE call for a lot of them...
LynXiger: Which song from your discography is your least favourite and why? pvrisofficial: I wont say incase it is anyone's favorite!! hahaha
lgbtiffany: do you have a tendency to incorporate spirituality into your creative processes? love the album and can’t wait for the stream ✨❤️ pvrisofficial: I think creating is spiritual in itself! You're channeling sound and melody and MAGICCC! So yes!
vessed1: hiii. I’d love to know who found the White Noise mirror ☺️ pvrisofficial: Me too
LynXiger: What is your favourite genre to listen to? And how has this changed over time? pvrisofficial: I'm a big sucker for hip hop and pop... really anything that's catchy and hits hard and has cool production!
nicthehic: Hey Lynn! Been a huge fan for a long long time and took up doing music professionally because I was inspired by you and the rest of Pvris’ rise and work ethic. I was wondering if there was anything you would do differently while recording your first album and any advice to new ish band working on their first professional project (in the midst of covid no less) and any tips to make our first album just as great and timeless as white noise Thank you! pvrisofficial: Awww this is awesome! I'm sure you're gonna crush it! I definitely would have wanted to make the production a little different but keep a lot of the same fundamental aspects/textures. Do what YOU feel you want to create and dont feel any outside pressures. Crush it! Cant wait for you to record!
minidudette106: Hey Lynn, Do you ever think its crazy that people get tattoos of your lyrics & ones inspired by your music? also wondering what your thoughts are on pineapple on pizza? lol pvrisofficial: I used to get freaked out bc I didnt think my lyrics were great but now I think its so cool! haha.
Hot-Lime3627: Hi Lynn, how is Opal and the other cat whom you took care of during quarantaine doing ? pvrisofficial: They are back with their owner! I truly miss them every single day... they were my little fluffy pals.
kelcea244: How do you keep your creative muscle flexed so you’re ready to create? And do you create every day? EDIT: Also really sad you guys weren’t able to make it over to the UK this month! We’ll be so psyched for you when you do come! pvrisofficial: We are sad too!!! We can't wait to get back whenever it is safe to play shows there. I miss it every day! I try to create every day even if it's just 5-10 minutes, always good to keep those muscles flexed!
socksgrowonbushes: first of all i just want to say how much i admire you, you’re amazing :) my question is what is your favourite song you have ever written? is it one that’s on an album? one that hasn’t even been released? i’m curious pvrisofficial: Use Me!
LadyEpicenter25: What the significance of playing in Arizona?! pvrisofficial: Resources to make the stream happen and rehearsals happen :)
bitchesonthephone: I have one question and one question only: When will we get Let’s Go Vertigo? pvrisofficial: NEVERRRRRR
Antique_Performer_45: Hi Lynn! I’ve been a big fan of PVRIS for a few years now. Which song from Use Me was your favorite to write? I love you guys! pvrisofficial: Use Me! or Good To Be Alive!
JadeAdelaideee: Hello!!! You’ve been a huge help with me realising I was gay, is there anyone who you would look up to when you were younger who sort of helped ease that journey? 💕✨ pvrisofficial: tbh i didnt have many. It was the scattered bits of magical gay representation on teen tv shows like Degrassi/Skins etc. haha
brandonjback: what song are you most proud of from AWKOHAWNOH? pvrisofficial: Anyone Else and NOLA 1!
DixieF: A question I've been waiting ages to ask. Why are you guys so awesome? pvrisofficial: We got awesome parents!!!
Emmahumphrees: Out of all yours songs what is your favourite lyric?? pvrisofficial: "On the porch the ceiling's painted baby blue dressed to the nines just like the sky in early afternoon 'cause it's midnight and the ghosts might be coming soon" Its a reference to a New Orleans superstition that the baby blue porch ceiling would ward off spirits in the night to trick them that it was the daytime sky.
lgbtiffany: what was the most difficult part of trying to regain your voice when you were having troubles with it? pvrisofficial: Definitely just getting on stage every night knowing it wasn't working and having to pretend it was... haha. Super embarrassing.
cnnrtower: Hi Lynn! MA fan here who first saw PVRIS open for A Skylit Drive at the Palladium in 2013. Super incredible to watch the journey for the band / yourself as an artist! What was the first gig/experience that made you stop and realize that PVRIS was going places? pvrisofficial: one of our first headline shows in CT back in 2015. Show was crazy!!
KimLC24: I was just wondering how you get your inspiration to do your art and music? because it can sometimes be hard to even get motivated let alone create pvrisofficial: Totally relate and understand! I won’t lie, the older I get, the more I need to hype myself up and set a tone to create, especially when there’s so much music swirling around us at all times (the internet/streaming/etc). I almost always have a moody or dreamy movie/show playing on my ipad next to me while I work so that way there’s an inspiring visual going.
deadweighttttt: Hi Lynn!!! What’s your all time favourite lyric from the album?! pvrisofficial: HII!! "Do you even notice how easy you've got this? Taking wings off a goddess if I'm being honest"
Pvffreis: Hi Lynn, I have no idea how to use this/reddit but great to see you here! Hope you're doing good? <3 Update: I figured out how to edit comments ayyy I just signed up to ask you this very important question: Red or green apples? pvrisofficial: Idk how either but I think I got it!! Red apples! W PB
dancingonslowsand: Hi Lynn!! Been following PVRIS for a while and I’ve loved seeing how your sound has evolved over the years. Do you have any idea of what direction you want the band to go in the future? Or are you just riding the wave and seeing what happens? Also what’s your fav bird pvrisofficial: Thanks so much! I definitely plan to just keep riding the wave… I feel like every album leaves some room for the direction to go anywhere so the next chapter never feels too restricted. I have been feeling pretty hyped and high energy lately so I feel like it may reflect that a bit! Fav bird is… PENGUINS (even though people debate that they are mammals.)
pvrisofficial: Okay my friends, I gotta head out and get to rehearsals! This was so much fun, sorry I couldn't get to every Q. Love yall! See you guys so soon! <3
November 18th, 2020
4 notes · View notes
ahtohallan-calling · 5 years
Text
chapter 5 of don’t read the last page is here!
[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]
He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now.
“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”
“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder.
chapter 5
day 1
Sven was just stumbling into the kitchen when Kristoff came in. He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
“You look really happy for someone who just dropped off their girlfriend at the airport for a six-week trip,” he said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. 
“Not my girlfriend.”
“Not the important part of that sentence.”
Kristoff snagged the bottle and poured himself a cup. “This is mine, by the way, so you owe me.”
“Fine, I’ll buy toilet paper l-- no, I know you, Bjorgman, you’re trying to distract me.”
Sven narrowed his eyes further, fixing Kristoff with a hard stare. He tried to look as innocent as possible as he went to rummage through the fridge, but then he remembered the way Anna had clung to him, the feel of her little hands in his hair, the press of her lips against--
“Oh my god! You kissed her!”
Kristoff stood, not bothering to hide his smile anymore. “Well, technically, she kissed me.”
“I fucking called it, man, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold off that much longer.”
“We really did try.”
“You didn’t even make it a week, my guy,” Sven said amiably, meandering into the living room. “You tried harder at Mario Kart the other night. Which, by the way, I know you lost on purpose so Anna could win.”
Kristoff considered arguing, but then his phone lit up with a text from Anna, so instead he grinned and walked away to the sound of Sven sighing dramatically. “I heard that buzz! I know it’s her! Jesus, I’d say get a room, but--”
Kristoff didn’t hear the rest as he shut his bedroom door.
kris!! theres wifi i can text you
Im in first class look 
..
That’s crazy
They gave you champagne this early in the morning?
..
supposed to be for mimosas
but it’s like 5 o clock somewhere
specifically romania so
..
That jet lag is going to be rough.
How long is your flight?
..
10 hrs to london then 3 to bucharest💀
but i think my seat turns into a bed so ill try to sleep
theres sooooo many movies tho!
omg theyre bringing more snacks….i feel like a movie star already
..
You kind of are.
..
havent made the movie yet!!
oh the director is here he wants to talk ttyl
..
:)
---
day 4
For some reason, her hands were shaking as they hovered over the green button. “Just do it, Anna,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just Kristoff. He told you to call.”
Thanks to the time difference and long flights, it had taken most of two days to even get here, and on her first full day in Romania she’d been so overwhelmed with the film set and meeting her co-star Adam and talking to the directors and producers and costumers and cameramen that she’d completely crashed the moment she’d gotten back to her hotel room. She’d woken up in the middle of the night and sent Kristoff a quick text apologizing for not calling; he’d responded almost immediately, reassuring her that it was fine and to just call him the next day. At a reasonable hour, he’d made sure to add, not at 2 A.M. Go back to sleep.
She had, and then she’d nearly missed her alarm and hadn’t had time to call him in the morning, and then she’d been filming her first scene and been so overwhelmed by all of that that now it was nearly six o’clock, and it was the first time she’d gotten to look at her phone all day.
He’d texted her once at around 9 A.M. her time. Good luck today! You’ll kill it. Her heart had done a funny little flip at the message, simple as it was; every time she thought of Kristoff, it didn’t feel quite real, like it was just a daydream she would wake up from, but here it was, concrete proof that even literally halfway around the world-- more than halfway, actually-- he was still thinking of her, still caring about her.
The remembrance of that was what finally gave her the courage to hit call. She felt too nervous to FaceTime him, especially considering she was already in sweatpants and halfway through eating a bowl of pasta on her bed. He picked up on the third ring, sounding breathless for some reason.
“Hey! Anna! How are you?”
“I’m, um, I’m good! How are you? You sound kind of...out of breath?”
“Oh, yeah, you caught me at the gym, so I--”
“Oh! I’m so sorry, let me hang up and--”
“No, don’t! I’m almost done, just--”
There was a quick beep in the background, and a whirring noise she hadn’t noticed until now stopped. “Okay, sorry, we’re good.”
She couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like right now, with his hair hanging in his eyes and sweat dripping down his very well-muscled--
“Anna? You there?”
He’d just asked her something, but she’d been too busy daydreaming to catch it. Maybe it really was for the best she hadn’t gone for FaceTime; she probably would have been struck speechless at the sight of him. “Sorry, I was just-- sorry. Um. What did you say?”
He laughed softly. “I asked how your first day of filming went.”
“Oh! It was good, really good, actually. We filmed that scene I auditioned with, actually. They changed the bit about the cowboy boots.”
“Thank god. I don’t know anything about movies, but I know that was awful.”
“Oh, yeah, Adam-- that’s who’s playing Jesse-- he said they’d have to double his paycheck if they wanted him to say shit like that, and then we kind of improv-ed something else and it went really well.”
“That’s awesome!”
Anna felt herself blushing, just barely, at the sound of the genuine pride in his voice. “It was, um, it was nothing, really.”
“So how’s all of it going? Are the...um...honestly, I don’t know who all is involved in making movies. But are the other people nice?”
“Yeah! I really like the girl who does my hair and makeup, her name’s Honey. Isn’t that cute?”
Kristoff laughed; she could hear him starting the car in the background. Anna bit her lip. “Oh-- did you get to shower?”
“I will at home, don’t worry. Anyway--”
“You need to focus on driving? Yeah, I totally get it, seriously. Bye!”
She hit the red button and quickly dropped her phone. Her heart had been pounding the whole time; god, she was really out of practice with this whole thing. Embarrassment swept over her, and she buried her face in her knees; how the hell was this going to work when she was too self-conscious to talk to him for more than five minutes? God, she’d be lucky if he ever bothered to call her again after this.
To her surprise, the phone buzzed only a moment later. She debated picking it up for a long moment, then decided to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and snatched it up.
Just FYI, I was feeling really nervous, too. Want me to call you back after I get home and shower?
For some reason, tears started to fill her eyes as she typed a response. 
yes please :)
She showered, too, taking her time as she let the hot water work its magic on the tension in her shoulders, drawing in slow, deep breaths to steady herself. It wasn’t that every guy she’d ever dated had been bad, per se, just that it had been quite a long time since she’d been with someone who made her feel this nervous and excited and terrified and joyful all at once-- actually, now that she thought about it, she didn’t know if she’d ever liked someone else this much right off the bat. Since coming to L.A. almost two years ago, she’d had a string of bad luck with men, and it was strange readjusting to the notion that one would want to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, that he actually wanted to hear about her day, that he saw right through all her embarrassing little defense mechanisms and somehow knew just what to say to make her feel better. Of course they knew each other, but this was something different, something more, as if she didn’t even have to say something for him to understand.
Her phone buzzed again ten minutes after she got out of the shower; with a smile, she picked it up.
“Hey, Kris.”
“Hey, Anna.”
“Ready to try again?”
“With you? Always.”
---
day 9
“So I was telling her, like, ‘I wish I had a recent picture of him to show you because he’s like, super super hot.’ And she kind of made this face and was like ‘that won’t make a difference.’”
He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now. 
“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”
“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder. 
Anna giggled. “Then show me your face.”
He did so reluctantly; to his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “Kris, you know you are, like, super handsome, right? Seriously.”
“I’m, um, I’m just gonna—“
“I mean it. Like I get why you’re feeling shy about it and stuff but just know that, okay?”
He only nodded, feeling a little better, although his face was still heated. Anna, knowing when to leave well enough alone, smiled at him and continued her story. “Anyway, I told her all that and she just started laughing, and finally when I was done she was like ‘Anna, I’m gay’. And so then I showed her a picture of my sister, and I’m just saying, when we’re back in LA, we’re definitely doing a double date.”
—-
day 15
She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about telling him about it. She’d already texted him that morning telling him what scenes they were filming, and it wasn’t like it had meant anything; it was just part of the movie, and Adam was married anyway— but then again, it wasn’t that part that had really been bothering her. She still wasn’t sure until she was explaining it all to Kristoff, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she held up her phone inside the blanket nest she’d constructed on her bed. 
“And like, he and I are good friends now, so that at least made it easier. And we were all in character and stuff, so, you know, it felt right, and then they started the fake snow going and we just did it, you know?”
“Uh-huh,” Kristoff said, his voice neutral. 
“That like— this doesn’t bother you, right?” she asked quickly. “Because seriously, it didn’t mean—“
“Anna, I know. This is literally your job, I’m not jealous or anything. But please tell me if I ever make you feel like I’m mad or something, because I’m seriously not.”
She let out the breath she’d been holding. “I— I know. I just...wanted to make sure. Because it still, like...still felt weird to me, you know? And I can’t figure out why.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you done this before? Like, stage kissing and stuff?”
“Oh, yeah, lots of times. But this time felt kind of different. I just don’t know why.”
He considered it for a moment, looking so thoughtful she couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little flutter in her chest at the thought that he really and truly cared about helping her figure this out. “Enough about me, though, tell me about that crazy to-go order you texted me about. Did you end up getting to see the person who’d ordered it?”
They talked for so long Anna lost track of time, until she yawned so widely Kristoff stopped talking mid-sentence. 
“Anna, what time is it there?”
“Um...close to eleven?”
“What time did you get up this morning?”
“...four.”
He laughed softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow morning, okay?”
She wanted to argue, but honestly she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open for the last half hour. “Night, Kris.”
“Night, Anna. Sweet dreams.”
He said that every night, but the way he’d smiled tonight— she was thinking about it until long after she’d hung up her phone and closed her eyes. Then, suddenly, she sat upright and snatched it up again, typing furiously. 
figured it out...before, there’s never been someone i ACTUALLY wanted to kiss instead 
..
:)
I wish it had been me, too. 
day 21
hey kris!!! sorry i know it’s the middle of the night there so i hope this doesn’t wake you up but i set an alarm on my phone for the exact time and as of like 10 seconds ago we’re halfway there!!!!!!! 😊😊😊
To her surprise, a response came just a few minutes later. 
:) Knew we could do this.
day 23
“I got my class schedule today.”
“Yeah? Show me!”
He held it up awkwardly to the camera, and she squinted at it. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of blocks. Are you still going to work at Starbucks?”
“Yeah, I’ve been there the whole time I’ve been in school. Just work less hours on weekdays, usually pick up some early morning weekend shifts.”
“Oh, that sucks.”
He shrugged. “It works out. I, uh, I’ve got some scholarships that cover most of my tuition, so then it’s, y’know. Rent money and stuff.”
Anna frowned, feeling suddenly acutely aware of how much money she was making for a lot less work. “Will you have, like...any free time?”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said quickly, suddenly sounding nervous. “I promise I’ll still have time to hang out with you and stuff, just--”
“No, no that’s like-- shit, that’s not what I meant, Kris, I mean I kind of did but like-- I’m not trying to like, pressure you or--”
“No, I get it, I--”
“No, I mean like school is way important and you like--”
“Seriously, when I say we can--”
Anna took a deep breath. “Okay. You talk first.”
“I, um. I don’t want you to think, like, I won’t make time for you or something, though. Um-- that was all.”
She smiled, wishing she could be there in person; it was so much easier to reassure him when she could just squeeze his hand. “Seriously, that’s not what I meant. I was just worried about you, ‘cause that’s, like, a lot of stress. So if there’s anything I can do to like, help or whatever, just...just let me know. Like...with anything.”
“Seriously, I think it’ll help a ton to just have a pretty girl keeping me company while I study.”
She felt her cheeks turn pink. “What if I end up wanting to distract you?”
Now she wasn’t the only one blushing.
---
day 30
“Miss you.”
“Miss you, too.”
Tonight, there wasn’t really anything else to say.
—- 
day 34
He’d stopped leaving his phone on silent overnight; it was silly, really, but he always had a tiny fear that maybe something would happen over in Romania while he was asleep, and maybe Anna would need to reach him, and there probably wouldn’t be anything he could actually do...but still.
Despite that, though, it still took a lot to wake him, so when his phone went off one night close to three in the morning, he nearly missed the call. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily, putting it to his ear.
He heard a familiar little giggle. “It’s FaceTime, Kris. I’m sorry to wake you up, I just-- I really wanted you to see this.”
“Oh-- hang on.” He fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, sliding them on and blinking blearily at the screen. “Um...where are you? I just see, like...the ceiling?”
“Oh-- that’s cause I gave my phone to Honey, just a second, and she’ll show you.”
The phone was lifted up suddenly by a pretty woman with bronze skin and dark hair thrown up into a bun. “Nice to meet you, Anna’s boyfriend.”
He wondered if she could see him blush even in the dark room. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“Okay, okay, I’m ready!” he heard Anna chirp from somewhere. “Turn the camera!”
Honey did with a laugh, and Kristoff sat upright, his eyes wide. Anna was in a deep blue ballgown that fit perfectly to her torso before flaring out into a long, shimmery skirt. Her hair was down, set in curls that shone especially bright against the dark color of the gown, and she was smiling so brightly he thought his heart was going to burst.
“You look beautiful, baby,” he said, half-convinced he was still dreaming.
She was quiet for a moment, and then he realized she was blushing bright red. He heard Honey giggle, and then the phone was being handed back over to Anna. “You’ve never called me that before.”
“What, beautiful? I definitely--”
“No, I--” Her blush deepened. “Kris, are you wearing a shirt?”
He glanced down. “Oh-- uh, no, I’m not. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to see without the lights--”
A mischievous glint was twinkling in her eye. “Trust me, Bjorgman, there’s nothing to apologize for.”
Now he was blushing, too. “Um-- so you’ve got to be filming something special today, right?”
“Yeah, the big ballroom scene. I just...I really love this dress, and the way Honey did my hair and stuff, and I, um...I wanted you to see.”
He smiled softly. “I’m glad. You really do look so, so beautiful.”
She opened her mouth to say something else, but then he heard Honey call, “Hey, Anna, say bye to the boyfriend, they want you on set in five.”
Anna turned back to the camera, looking suddenly nervous. “Kris, are you my boyfriend?”
“Do you want me to be?”
“Yeah.”
He grinned, no longer sleepy. “Okay.”
Anna laughed. “Okay?”
“Hey, it’s still the middle of the night, and I’m still kind of speechless after seeing you in that dress. Cut me some slack.”
“Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you up.”
He yawned. “I’m not.”
---
day 40
“Look! All packed!” She grinned, turning her phone quickly around the room to show off her only slightly overstuffed suitcases. “And ready to come home!”
“Do you think you’ll miss it?”
“No, I mean...it’s beautiful and all here, but it’s still not home.”
Kristoff grinned at that. “You still want me to pick you up from the airport?”
“Um, is that even a question?”
He laughed. “Just making sure! I mean, six weeks is a long time, don’t know if you got tired of me.”
“Kristoff, the second I get back to LA, I’m like, jumping on you again and kissing the fuck out of you.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “And then?”
She could tease him, too. “And then you’d better hurry the hell up and take me back to your apartment so I can show you how much I missed you.”
“....Jesus Christ. Why does waiting two more days suddenly feel so much longer than the other forty?”
41 notes · View notes
pinkykitten · 5 years
Text
We can be the Greatest
Marvel
Yon-Rogg x human to Kree! female reader
Warning: curse words, violence
Specifics: angst, romance, one-shot, race neutral reader
People: yon-rogg, carol danvers
Words: 1,007
Requested: By @cas-sauntered-vaguely-downwards  Hi!  Could I request a Yon-Rogg x Human-to-Kree!female reader, where the reader thinks she’s found out the truth about the war via Vers who she learned is actually named Carol Danvers, and she goes to confront Yon-Rogg and starts fighting him but then he defeats her easily because “rage serves the enemy” and he then gives her a long-forgotten history lesson that she was given when she first woke up six years ago, that explains the truth, that the Skrull had enslaved the Kree and experimented and tortured them to further their scientific knowledge about the Kree until the Kree had an uprising against their oppressors and overthrew them, and that the war was a result of that uprising against the Skrull who had murdered thousands of Kree, and then the reader is heartbroken that she ever doubted Yon (who then comforts her) and that Carol was led astray so easily, causing her to do a lot of research and then try to reach out to Carol before it’s too late, and because of the fight and everything that happened with the reader and Yon-Rogg, they start to develop a relationship? Gods, I think I just asked you to write a sequel to the movie, oops, lol, if you don’t want to write it/don’t have time/aren’t up to it, that’s okay, I’ll probably try my hand at writing it. Thank you so much!  I love your Yon-Rogg fanfics and writing style!
Authors Note: im sorry this took me forever, ive just been so busy atm. im just trying to finish up my requests for now to open up my requests again, lol i hope that makes sense. i will open up requests soon!
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“Y/n he’s evil. He’s the enemy. He killed Mar-Vell, he wanted Skrulls to be on top. To overrule all other races. Y/n, he even lied to you, to me, to us, about our past. All he wanted was the energy core that Mar-Vell created. He wants to use all that power for his selfish needs.”
Standing there shocked you thought about every word Vers said. Maybe there was something she was missing with her information. Maybe she didn’t know all her facts. You and Yon-Rogg has something special, a bond unbreakable and now she came at you with this news that if felt like a truck had hit you. It was almost painful. 
“How do you know all this? How do you know you’re saying the truth?”
Vers shook her head as she motioned to you, placing a arm on your shoulder, “Y/n I know this seems very crazy and it is but your past is different and you’re like me. My real name is not Vers, its Carol Danvers. Don’t you see, our whole life was a lie. Now we need to make things right for the Skrulls. You can be with me or against me. I would hope you would choose the first one but you need to make the decision.”
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You marched right over to Yon-Rogg’s training area. You wanted to know the truth, everything that has been kept bottled inside needed to be poured out already, it was time. 
“Hello there dear. Are you well? You don’t look it.” Yon-Rogg wore a stoic expression as your fist quickly met his gut. He bent over, clutching his stomach. “Why,” he coughed, trying to regain his composure, “why did you do that?”
“You liar!” You kicked his face sending him rolling on his back, his nose bleeding and seeming cracked. “You lied to me and Carol, about who we were, the Skrulls, Mar-Vell, all that you lied to me! To everyone! You betrayed me!”
Yon-Rogg’s eyes widened at all the information he was hit at. He stood up and wiped the blood, “you are so naive y/n.”
“What?”
“All that was true, yes we, I did all that but please sit down-”
You backed away as he tried to touch you, “I’m standing. You got 1 minute to tell me what happened, your side and I can see if you live or not.”
Yon-Rogg smirked as he sat and wiped his sweat. “Many years ago the Skrull’s took and enslaved my people, the Kree. They experimented on them, tortured my people all just to learn more about us. How our minds worked, our strength, every little thing they did research on. Until we said enough was enough. We were the ones who took control, and that is why we had that war.”
“Oh,” you were so unsure! Should you choose Carol or Yon-Rogg? You bit your lip as you put together the pieces of Yon-Rogg’s story. “Oh, well then.” You sat beside him.
“Is that all you can say...oh...I didn’t mean to hurt you y/n, or scare you. I was trying to protect you from the truth, I didn’t want you to hate your people.” Yon-Rogg held your hand as his thumb lightly grazed your knuckles. “You mean a lot to me y/n. I’ve never cared for anyone as much as I care for you. You’re different.”
Finally, you made your decision. “Its okay Yon-Rogg, I understand why you did it, its just, from now on we have to tell each other the truth. I care for you Yon-Rogg, so much that it hurt me in my heart when I heard the terrible news, but thank you for clarifying. Also, sorry about that,” you pointed to his nose. 
“Don’t worry, it will heal.”
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You sat in the library reading up on what Yon-Rogg told you. Most of the history books left that part out but you eventually found a old, battered up book that explained everything. Right in front of your eyes laid proof of Yon-Rogg’s story, it was all right there!
“I have to show this to Carol!”
You tried to show your best friend the truth. Every time you tried to knock some sense in her she would get offended that you were choosing Yon-Rogg’s side over hers.
“I thought we were friends?”
Rubbing your temple you heaved a sigh, “we are friends, Carol, but you need to know what really happened. Please, try to understand.”
Carol shook her head, “I don’t believe you.”
“What?”
“I said I don’t believe you. Yon-Rogg is getting into your mind and you’re letting him.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You like him...I know you do but just because you like him doesn’t mean you have to agree with him.”
“Is this what you think it is?” You were furious. “I can’t believe you. I am telling you this because I care for you, more than anyone else. Fine if you don’t believe me then I guess our friendship is over.”
“Fine,” Carol barked as she stormed away. 
You felt terrible about losing your best friend but you needed to tell her but you could not force her to believe.
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“I tried telling her but she wouldn’t listen to me!” 
Yon-Rogg caressed your face, “sometimes, my dear, people choose to not believe something even though they know in their heart that it is the truth.”
You pouted as you wrapped your arms around him, “I wish she would just listen to me.”
“As do I but,” his forefinger and thumb lifted your face up to greet him, “the only people that matter in this world are you and I. We know, and there is nothing anybody can do to stop us. We will make sure they pay, make sure they know that we are not to be messed with. Alright?”
You were silent but then Yon-Rogg deepened the space between you two and kissed your lips. “We are on top.”
“We are on top,” you repeated, nuzzling your face into his neck, feeling safe and secure.
(i just realized how sexual those lines sounded)
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Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @marwantr, @divaanya, @wassupitschloe, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @eminemsgiraffe
wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!
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Meant to Be
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Word Count: 3.3k
Warnings: None that I can think of. Let me know if you see any!
A/N: I hope y’all are ready. This is a little ridiculous, but I had fun writing it. The reader’s character has a name! But her perspective will be in second person and physical description will be vague. (Sorry, I needed a pretty distinct name for this.)
Thank you to @im-justatrashcan for the request and as always a big thank you to my proof-reader and PSM @mollymarymarie
All your life, you’d had the name ‘Ben Jones’ written in black ink on the inside of your wrist. A common place for a soulmark, really. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about it. Including the name.
It was very frustrating, honestly. It had exhausted you since you were thirteen and everyone else started meeting their soulmates left and right, literally. You’d watched both of your best friends, at the ripe old age of 15, turn opposite directions and bump into their soulmates.  From that day forward, their marks had been so beautifully colored and their soulmates never too far away.
But ‘Ben Jones’? That was like finding a needle in a haystack. Your wrist might as well have said ‘John Smith’.  It haunted you.
By the midpoint of senior year, ninety percent of your schoolmates had found their other halves and you were still alone.
Then one day, in early 2012, you noticed something. Your mark no longer said ‘Ben Jones’. It now read ‘Ben Hardy’ and you felt like life was just about to get more complicated.
Ben had always wondered how he’d meet you, the mysterious ‘Cheyenne Williams’. Tattooed on his tricep, destined to be his forever. Just from your name, he could tell you weren’t English.
It excited him. He always wondered where life would take him, and he knew for sure he’d get to travel at least part of the world.
Growing up, he was never too concerned with meeting his soulmate. Lots of his friends met theirs between 13 and 18. But it never seemed to bother him. He knew he’d find you one day. It certainly seemed like it wouldn’t be anywhere near his home.
When he started his career, he worried about you being able to find him. He had to change his name, there was just no way around it. Even if it was just a stage name, it would still be the easiest way to recognize him.
He worried over something else, too. Because of his career choice, he’d need to cover his mark. It felt like he was hiding you from the world. Even though he hadn’t met you, he never wanted you to think he could be ashamed of you. That just wasn’t true. He just didn’t want anyone to lie to him and use your name to hurt either of you. It was hard to explain your motives to someone you still hadn’t met.
You were the only one that noticed the change in your mark. As long as the first word was ‘Ben’ and it was still black, no one else really seemed to care. Which, helped you avoid a lot of trouble, honestly.
You really had to fight the urge to google the new name. The development had you stuck somewhere between worry and wonder. Worry for your soulmate’s safety, could something have happened to him? Wonder for yourself, had anyone else ever had their mark change?
The best course of action was to not call any attention to it. You didn’t want to become a case study. There was absolutely no one that would be helped by that. Well, out of the people you were truly concerned for (yourself and your soulmate), no one would probably be helped.
Years after the change, only your mother and best friend had noticed. It took them months to see any difference at all, and it wasn’t the mark that caught their eye. It was your demeanor. The girl with a slightly bitter heart and too many choices had finally seemed hopeful. It threw each of them for a loop, but they’d each asked as curiosity got the best of them.
One day in 2016, your best friend, Tyler, convinced you to see a movie with her. She seemed really excited about it. She said it was going to restart the X-Men franchise and give rise to a whole new generation of superheroes. With all her excitement about the film, you couldn’t say no.
That’s how you found yourself transfixed on the pouty blond angel only a few minutes into the movie. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you felt like you’d seen him before. Somewhere. . . But where?
To say that Ben was a little disappointed that he didn’t find you  while shooting his first American film wouldn’t be incorrect. He tried to reassure himself that he’d only seen a small part of the country during pre- and post-production, and there would be plenty more to see later. His career was just starting, really.
There was still plenty of time.
Oh my God. Was that really him? You were so glad that Tyler had run to the restroom immediately after the post-credit scene. You needed to talk yourself out of this. Now.
There was no way your soulmate was an actor. Let alone one that had acted alongside some of your favorites. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna d-
“Chy? You look a little lost there. Are you okay?” Tyler was back. Oh man, this could be really bad.
“I’m fine, Ty.” You smiled at her, storing all your thoughts away to freak out over later. “Let’s go get dinner, yeah? That movie was crazy long.”
With a roll of her eyes, she agreed. “Leave it to my bestie, with the freaky Mark, excuse me, the mutant Mark, to have that look on her face because she’s hungry.”
You just stuck your tongue out at her and promised yourself that you would check his IMDB later for interviews. Maybe life would be interesting after all.
By mid 2018, Ben still hadn’t met you. He felt like he’d traveled a fair bit. Met new and exciting people. But you were the only person he was just dying to meet.
Okay, maybe that had changed for a hot minute in 2017. He was cast to play a living legend. Could you really blame him for wanting to meet Roger Taylor (the drummah from Queen)?
Ben decided you could probably let that slide. It was just one small request on his growing pile of things to ask forgiveness for.
Hopefully, the upcoming press tour would help him out.
Except that he wouldn’t be going on the American leg of the tour (all the boys had agreed that the name was definitely American, more than likely Southern) due to work. Fate, what game were you playing?
Stalking may have been a tad excessive to describe the ferocity with which you watched a certain Mr. Hardy from that fateful day in the movie theater to now.
You’d looked up several of his interviews, especially any that mentioned his mark, or rather lack thereof. He never brought it up on his own and always seemed ready to deflect with some other comment when asked. There was no way he was your soulmate. He clearly was just one of the UnMarked and wasn’t comfortable talking about it.
It hadn’t even shown up in any of the candids or BTS content you’d seen. He just didn’t have one. It was that simple.
That didn’t stop you though. You still managed to see all his projects. The latest one seemed promising. He was set to play Roger Taylor, yes the Roger Taylor your own mother was in love with as a young girl, and they would even have a press tour stop close to your home town.
Ty had, of course, figured everything out that first day and encouraged you to chase it.
(“He could just be a really private person, Chy. What if he covered it up to protect you?
“Right Ty, I’m sure that’s exactly what some English actor that knows nothing about me did.”
Tyler just narrowed her eyes at you, wishing you would regain a little of the hopefulness you’d had back when the change had happened. “I’m right. Just you wait.”
“I certainly will wait, but don’t expect me to hold my breath.”)
So, you and Tyler had made plans to go to the stop. It could be fun, and maybe you’d finally know if she was right.
“Cheyenne Montgomery Williams, get out of the bathroom or you are gonna miss the whole thing. Jeez.” Ty screamed through the door at you. What were you even doing here? He wouldn’t be here and you knew he didn’t have a mark. He’d never confirm that in interviews, but you just knew it.
“First of all, that’s not my name and you know it.” You pushed the door open with enough force to bump Ty back a little and leveled her with a narrowed glare. “Secondly, so what if I missed the whole thing? He isn’t here.”
“Excuse me?” You heard a voice come from your side. “What did you say your name was?”
You looked in the direction of the voice and released Ty from your stare. “I didn’t. She -,” you used your head to gesture to Ty, hands still poised on your hips and stopped. Joe Mazzello was looking at you with a ridiculous amount of glee in his eyes.
Ben’s phone buzzed from beside him. It was late evening in Rome, where he was filming his newest project.
Joey: Oh, Benny Boy. You aren’t going to believe this.
Benny Boy: Believe what?
Joey: On second thought, I’ve decided not to tell you.
          Yet.
          When will you be able to visit me in the states?
Ben just shook his head. He was sure Joe had good motives, but all he wanted to do after this film was go home and sleep for a few days. He missed his bed and his Frankie.
Benny Boy: We talked about this.
                      I’m going to go home for a bit. I can come visit you in December.
Joey: That’s so far awayyyyy.
           But I shall wait for you.
           Until then, Jonesy.
JM: Are you ready?
The CW: Nope.
JM: Perfect. It’s showtime.
You had just pulled up to the shop Joe had been bothering you about. The man loved donuts and apparently these were the best in Dallas. It was a bit too far from your hometown for you to be overly familiar with the area, but you allowed Joe his indulgences.
It was weird to think that you got a celebrity’s phone number. Much less for such innocent reasons. He really did just want to check on you and figure out who you were before he introduced you to Ben. There was a good chance Joe was more nervous than you were.
“Mate, why am I filming you eat this donut?” It was the one question Ben felt Joe could actually answer. It wasn’t the only question he had, just the only one he thought he could get an answer to.
“It’s going to be transcendent.” Joe fixed his gaze on the prize in his hand, which was possibly the shiniest donut Ben had ever seen. “ Just shut up and point the camera at my face, Jonesy.”
“Really, Joe? Is that anyway to treat your friend?” Ben could have sworn he’d heard that voice before. It sounded like home, but with a drawl.
“Really, Joe? Is that anyway to treat your friend?” You smiled at Joe over the blond head in front of him.
“You know what, Chy? I think it is.” He couldn’t help but grin back at you. “Besides, this one,” he gestured to the man seated in front of him, “has kept the both of us waiting long enough. Don’t you think?”
It seemed like it took him an eternity to turn around and face you. But when he did, you couldn’t look away. Those eyes, the same ones you’d seen all those years ago projected in front of you, were even more breathtaking in person. The mouth that you’d watched form countless words in dozens of interviews, was right there and you waited for it to move.
“I think you’re absolutely right, Joey.” But you couldn’t tear your gaze from Ben. He was here. He was real. It was finally time to see if Ty was right.
“Cheyenne?” He breathed out with a sense of wonder, as if trying your name for the first time.
“Cheyenne?” Ben couldn’t believe this was what Joe had been hiding from him for 2 months. It was you. He found you, the only thing that was still missing from his life.
“It’s very nice to finally meet you, Ben.” Your voice was like music to his ears, especially when you said his name. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of the sound.
He had honestly never tried to imagine you, and he’s very glad he didn’t. Whatever he would have dreamed up wouldn’t have been as good as what was standing in front of him now.
Hesitantly, Ben stepped toward this astonishing woman that was meant to be his. Joe was basically forgotten behind him as Ben moved in to hug you.
The next thing you knew the two of you were moving towards each other. You reached out and hooked your right forearm behind his left shoulder and pulled Ben to you.
Distantly, you could hear Joe cheering. Two of his new favorite people were finally together. First contact had been made. It was finally time to see if Ty and Joe were both right or if they’d just been feeding you false hope all these years (and months).
But he didn’t intervene immediately. Joe let the two of you lose yourselves in the embrace. You were grateful for that. After 20+ years of waiting, at times not so patiently, you felt like you’d finally found your home.
“Okay, lovebirds. You don’t have to completely disentangle, but there’s something I gotta see.” Ah, Joe. He’d waited as long as he possibly could. But Ben supposed he was owed this. To be the first to see his colored Mark.
Ben felt a little wistful for not taking a minute to admire it in the mirror this morning. He wished he would have known that he’d never see the familiar black script on his skin again. It had been replaced with some vibrant color. He was sure of it, and the possibilities of the new discovery left him a little giddy.
Slowly, Ben pulled you to his right and twisted his left arm forward. Sure enough, there in a jeweled red was the name he’d been looking at all his life. But now he had new hope attached to it.
Joe was possibly the most impatient person you knew at this moment. All you wanted to do was hang on to Ben a little longer. You weren’t ready for reality to come crashing down on you.
Ben slowly pulled you to your left and started to twist his arm.
You decided it was time to take the plunge and glanced down at your right wrist. There in a striking red was his name.
The sight brought tears to your eyes. You thought this day would never come. You thought that Fate had been playing a cruel trick on your whole life. But here it was. Living proof.
“Oh. love. Don’t cry.” Ben heard a sniffle come from your  direction. He paused his celebrating to take care of his soulmate. He really could get used to that, his soulmate. “What’s wrong?”
“I just,” you were still fighting tears in the little shop, “I just never thought this day would actually come.”
To hear that broke Ben’s heart. He had always justified his actions to himself (hiding his mark, deflecting in interviews, letting Roger Taylor take your spot as the #1 person he wanted to meet) and now it was time to justify them to you.
“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Ben rested his forehead against your own. “We can go talk somewhere private.” His voice had softened and taken on a concerned undertone.
“That sounds good. Let’s go.” You waved towards Joe and blew him a kiss. You could see the excitement on his face for the both of you. He was a good friend, truly. You’d have to find a way to thank him for putting the two of you together.
Ben was so relieved that you took him to a park towards the outskirts of the big city. He preferred to think and talk while moving, It helped him focus.
“So I’m sure I owe you some explanations.” He began. He made sure to loop your arm with his not wanting you to get too far away or for his voice to get so loud that passers-by would hear your conversation.
“Yeah, just two really.” He was shocked that you agreed with him. Most of the soulmates he’d seen were so instantly in love, he wasn’t ready for any push back.
“Which one would you like first, love?” If there were two you wanted now, he wanted to be sure they were the ones you wanted and not the ones he thought were most important.
“Why did my Mark change?” That . . . may have stopped him in his tracks a little.
“Your Mark . . .changed?” He was a little confused. He’d never heard of Marks changing.
“Yeah. One day it said ‘Ben Jones’ and the next it said ‘Ben Hardy’. I always worried that something bad happened.” You looked up at him and back down quickly before admitting the next bit. “I may have googled you after X-Men came out and found out that it’s just your stage name.”
Ben wracked his brain for an answer to that one. “I don’t know about that one, but we can figure it out together.” He smiled at you.
“The next one is why haven’t you admitted to having a Mark?” There it was. His biggest fear to have to explain to you. Of course, you would want to know. It probably would have gotten you together faster if he’d just made it public information.
Ben stopped and pulled you closer to him with a hand on either side of your face.
“That was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make.” He looked so sad as he met your eyes. “I wanted to protect you, and myself. I wanted this life and career. I made this choice. You didn’t.”
“Are you joking?” You blinked, a little dumbfounded. “I am never going to hear the end of this from Ty.” You shook your head and grabbed his wrists to pull his hands away from your face.
“Let’s see it then.” You fully met his eyes, a new determination in your own.
“Well, alright.” Ben gave you a cocky smile and  turned around to pull his sleeve so that you could see your own name in a startling blood red on his skin. “What do you think?”
Before you could respond, you reached out and ran your hand from his elbow to his shoulder following the path your name made. “It’s incredible.”
Ben had just watched your face and taken in the quiet astonishment that played across it. He could never have guessed that you really thought this day would never come.
Quickly, he fixed his shirt sleeve and turned back to face you. “Can I see yours?” He asked quietly.
You extended your wrist out towards Ben and he took it carefully, almost as if you would break. He brought himself around to stand next to her so that he could read his own name appropriately.
“I can’t believe it’s really there.” He took in the wine red stain on your wrist that was his name and rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along it. “Ben Hardy. Who would’ve thought that it would change to my stage name?” He asked mostly to himself.
“I certainly didn’t, but I’m so glad it did.” You placed your hand on top of where his thumb was tracing your Mark and gave him a genuine smile. The one you got in return was absolutely blinding.
“I guess Fate decided that we were meant to be.”
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! See y’all sometime next week. I’m going to go be murdered by these two tests. Have a good day, lovelies!
Taglist: @rogers-wristbands @deakydeckme
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Museum of Mayhem Art Analysis
ahhh it’s finally here and it’s AWESOME. Lots of credit to @ifalnasminiatures for bringing this to my attention! Also credit to Hayder Hype for providing (nat zero six on gearbox forums) sources (Ashley Landry on twitter) in the description of his video because oh man it’s a lot
you can view most of these art pieces on the borderlands instagram as well
lots to talk about especially regarding the calypso twins so let us dive right in
tl;dr: tyreen has a weird red marking on her face in some old designs. i think troy used to be blind and missing his metal plates. more proof for my elpis/chemical sludge/lost legion theory that the twins are using said chemical sludge to give their followers psuedo-siren powers bc a dahl pumping station (hyperion pumping stations on pandora) but dahl had a presence on the moon
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one of my favorites, it reminds me a lot of the Mask of Mayhem, but for villains.
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Punk Girl is shown again twice, probably further proving she’s tied in with the CoV somehow
we also got some crazy looking villains such as
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baby face. which is all kinds of extremely fucked up
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this dude who looks like he could be a miniboss with the glasgow smile and the cool goggles
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this guy who i legitimately thought was dr zed for a hot second there
could it be
the evilest brother?? pfft nahhh
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this girl who seems like she could be a unique character with a baseball cap. wondering if maybe she’s related to Punk Girl in any way. What’s the verdict on the other band members? 🤔
uhh let’s give it a solid maybe and move on
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this piece! very interesting to me
so, the very first thing i noticed is zane’s eye patch being on the other eye lol
amara’s tattoos are also gone, however that might’ve been for reasons similar to the japanese cover art of the game. 
most interestingly is a point @ifalnasminiatures made and it’s that the calypso twins are actually palette swapped! you can see Troy is the one with the white hair and Ty is the one with the darker hair. which I think mayyy play into a few things we see later about the twins
we also see a tiny ship in the background. i can’t tell if that’s sanctuary-iii or the blue/yellow ship, it all blends together a lot due to the quality of the pic. but it is next to the calypso twins, which makes me want to believe it’s the blue/yellow ship we see with red markings all over it. you know this one from the mural of mayhem wallpapers
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you can see the reddish markings on the back right next to the engines
then we have ummm
this cover art
😬
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thanks for not using this one gearbox cuz 
oh my god
she just reminds me of suicide squad, that’s not a good image you wanna dredge up from the deep recesses of your fans’ brains
she might be a unique character given the clothes/hair? cuz you don’t normally see psychos with stilettos on. or yknow, shoes in general. the hair also seems way to clean and neat to be a psycho/cultist
i just feel uncomfortable looking at this, so moving on
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a different logo. also not my favorite cover art, but at least im not physically uncomfortable looking at this. that poor girl’s pelvis... anyway
lots of silhouettes
interestingly, i feel like the roses might have been a thing they just put in for the new cover art. haven’t seen hide nor hair of them across any of the pictures i’ve seen.
we got a lot of figures. out of them i most definitely recognized amara, salvador, maya, another salvador?, zer0, moze (maybe?), and axton. i thiiink one of them is maya as well, but im not 100% on that. 
i can guess why they didn’t pick this one: it’s hard to tell who’s who. a lot of these poses make the silhouettes kinda hard to see and the merging together at the bottom makes things even worse. i do think it’s interesting there are some bl2 characters on here as well, but hayder hype mentioned they very well could be placeholders, and given that i can’t make out fl4k or zane, im inclined to believe him.
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this art which was used during the promo for this event
rip elpis i guess LMAO
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a better look at the psycho himself from the promo released by the borderlands twitter.
there’s a new red planet which hasn’t been shown off before, looks like a gassy planet kinda like jupiter, but interestingly it has this green crack in the side?
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very reminiscent of pandora’s eridium scar. i am wondering if this is because this planet had a vault opened, or if it is tied to the Eridians at all. be interesting if it was their homeworld.
also i have no idea what the symbolism is in the homeworld destroying another planet but maybe we shouldn’t think about it too hard e_e
the other planet that’s being destroyed... idk fellas
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it doesn’t match up to me but like, this is only one shot
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i don’t know 🤔 if you really squint, maybe you can see that hint of purple at the bottom there?
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here
tbh, i thought this was elpis the first time i saw it due to the cracks, but i figured elpis doesn’t have like continents across its surface, just craters. and wayyy more cracks.
so it’s probably not pandora and it’s probably not elpis.
huh...
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i do think the actual shot is suspended above promethea, you can see the familiar asteroid belt surrounding it
there’s also a planet in the background,
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which i imagine isn’t pandora bc no eridian scar
could be elpis or eden-6, or the 5th planet we don’t know about. i kinda get the feeling the 5th planet may be that gaseous red planet tho. which is probably going to be super weird to traverse now that i think about it. they said oz kits weren’t coming back, right? i wonder how that would work. hmmmm
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there’s also this redder planet here which i actually DO think is Pandora. if you squint real hard u can see the purple from the eridian scar. plus the color matches up pretty well with the pictures provided above.
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there’s also these two bodies over in the corner where the light is coming from. i can’t tell what they’re supposed to be
there are also these little dudes in the top right
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i assume they’re maliwan? they remind me a lot of the maliwan drop ship things that fly overhead when you enter promethea
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YESSS okay this is the start of some PRETTY WILD twin stuff
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troy: missing his tattoos, blind in one eye, has a weird mark above his eyebrow. also, no metal bits!
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Tyreen!!! with a red stripe across her left cheek going up to her eye??? no tattoos on her left arm as far as we can see, but that might be for marketing reasons (she’s also covering up part of her bicep). she’s also missing her coat and chains and wearing a different glove.
we also have a bunch of bl2 VHs taking up space. again i think hayder hype is right in that they’re simply placeholders. not much else to say, but 
this trend of Tyreen having red markings on her face and Troy being blind in an eye (or both) actually continues through a fair amount of these posters!!!
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more cover art. one of my least favorites again... i just think it looks like the psycho is puking out the VHs. also, seems to be an older version of the psycho mask.
fl4k seems to be less rendered than the rest of the cast? like they have less detail, especially on their coat
also you can see an older looking space shuttle up at the top, which reminds me a lot of the one we use in TFTBL to get to helios. except less caravanny and more rockety
the splatter also reminds me of siren powers, with the purple and the glitter. it’s cool that it’s showing a different shot than what’s behind it. maybe a hint to siren powers because it’s sort of like a portal.
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more puke! 
this time troy is blind in both eyes it seems,
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tyreen seems to still have a mark on the left side of her face, im wondering if this ties into her scars at all? it doesn’t seem as prominent as the previous red mark.
Zane seems to have an actual eye patch instead of his more high-tech eye patch, which reminds me a lot of the leaked character concepts from like january i wanna say
amara seems to be dual wielding lol i wonder if originally that was going to be one of her 3 skills but then they were like “wait salvador. wait. nisha. FUC-”
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also fl4k is being obscured by this weird saturn-like planet. let them be free!
moze is missing, the saturn like planet shows up 2 times total, and that blue/yellow ship is seen again behind troy
as for the purple stuff? you already know my theory that the twins are going to be using the chemical sludge on elpis to empower their followers. it could also just be straight eridium/slag. you know, like the testing from the WEP with bloodwing and even krieg. we’ll have to see. it would be interesting if they tied krieg into the story through there.
i do lowkey think it’s chemical sludge though, because some of it is actually glowing blue in places, you can see it clearly below amara’s feet. maybe some tie in to siren powers cuz they glow the same blueish color. who knoooows not i
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big shot of this psycho here, looks like he’s crumbling. 
i really like the 4 VHs standing at the base with the elongated shadows. very dark vibes from this tho, probably not suitable for the series as a whole. i can see why maybe they decided not to do it. 
i wonder if we’ll see this giant psycho statue somewhere on pandora. it would certainly be a sight to behold. 
also i kinda wish we had cloaks like the concept art shows. cloaks are cool
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more sketchy art. this one is also kinda strange, i definitely get why they decided not to go thru with it.
possibly tie-in with the ‘mother’ imagery we get on the propaganda signs across pandora.
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lmfao the foot
very bl2 like, im glad they didn’t stick with this. i like that they decided to change things up
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troy seems to be blind and also missing his metal implants on his face. his jacket also looks a lot different, it looks more like tyreen’s with the spikes and stuff across it. we also can’t see his metal arm at all, tho we do see his sword! which looks a lot different, im glad they decided to revamp it to be more visually interesting lol
tyreen is more interesting to me. it looks like her right arm has like a silver coating over it? unless that is a metal arm as well. she also is wearing a different kind of glove. her tattoos are missing as well, but again, it’s probably because of the cover art. her scars also definitely seem to have reached her left cheek at some point.
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zane also looks a lot different, tho amara, moze, and fl4k look about the same.
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another shot of the ship, this one is definitely the blue/yellow one. there’s gotta be some significance with that, right? either we’re getting skins for sanc-iii, we’re going to be painting it a new color, or it’s a different ship.
what the HECK
maybe the twins stole sanc-ii and we’re using sanc-iii. idek. this ship is driving me up a wall lol
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gun head.
not a lot to say here. i actually like this one lol it’s very mellow and straight to the point. it’s nice that the logo is right in the middle, not at the top like most of them.
game. buy it. okay? cool.
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similar to the other background we did, a bit different. again, like @ifalnasminiatures pointed out, the twins are actually palette swapped here. 
Zane also has the old eyepatch on his right eye instead of his left eye, and his jacket is black instead of blue. fuckin’ edgelord.
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one of my favorite ones out of all of them. it’s beautiful, i really wish they had kept it. Fl4k is missing but i assume they were meant to go next to Amara? i also think it’s interesting Moze is in the front, as I took Amara to be the leader this time around. Zane is also an older design, with the eyepatch back on his left eye again (starting to think this is an aesthetic thing lol) and a black jacket instead of blue.
We see the twins on the top. Tyreen has that mark on her face again, and Troy is the same as the last few covers.
We also see Maya, Zer0, and for some reason Brick? Which is weird to me considering we have a few other characters who initially feel much for important to the story (cough Lilith cough), but I’m not complaining. 
the purple splatters again make me think this is a tie in to eridium/slag/elpis’s chemical sludge. i also like the logo being worked into the design instead of just thrown on top, i think that’s a nice detail
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i couldn’t find a great shot of this poster which is a shame because it’s one of my favorites
a lot of baddies to go around on here. i love the dude up top, he reminds me of the Anchormen from the captain scarlett dlc in bl2!
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these dudes
we can see Punk Girl on the left again
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and this guy who appears to be in some medieval armor
i have no idea what’s going on there but i am EXCITED
i’ve been thinking and tbh i think the multiple planets thing was just an excuse for gearbox to go absolutely ham on the character designs/settings. 
i mean why should they have to hold back all their medieval armor designs for another dlc like tiny tina’s? all their pirate/sea-fairing designs for a pirate dlc? fuck it! go WILD. i think they did, anywho
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there’s also this post which... tbh i can’t make out much at all. again, seems like an older psycho mask design. it looks like there are characters in the splatter on the bottom left, but it’s very hard to tell who’s who, especially at this angle and image quality lol
if we get a better shot later on i may return to this piece and try to figure things out!
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we also have this piece which is giving me huge ‘Happy Together’ vibes. very trippy
moze looks like she’s using an untextured atlas gun? dunno what’s going on with that tbh lol
i really like this one too. it’s cool. i get why maybe they wanted to go a little crazier tho, feels too simplistic for the MAYHEM vibe they’re going for.
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oof! can we get an F in chat for whatever planet/moon this is
lots of pink floyd vibes going on here as well
we see a different looking blue/yellow ship flying away from the explosion. it seems to missing a lot of the parts that make sanc-iii so recognizable including the engines/wings
i like the destruction vibe they’re going for here, really sells the “universe destroying power” the twins are supposedly going to get. 
anyway, in addition to the cover art pieces, we also got a few concept art pieces as well!
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this bit which looks like a gun
you see the aiming mechanism up there? you see how it’s aimed at that planet/moon? yeah i 100% timed this so you’d see the above concept art with this immediately after :P (im kidding i didn’t but hey now you don’t have to scroll)
fuck yeah babey
we also have seen something similar to this in the gameplay trailer!
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i didn’t actually think it was a giant fucking GUN tho. can we get an F in chat for Promethea and/or whatever else this thing gets aimed at
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yooo
i thought this was opportunity at first cuz of the bridge but it’s more likely promethea
when u go meet zer0 you can see some water surrounding the city so i would guess this is somewhere else on promethea
im mostly interested in the giant fuckin triangle in the middle of that courtyard looking area
oh also the giant trench of destruction on the right there. that’s probably important, too.
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more concept art!
i think the bottom of the 4 VHs is actually what was leaked in january.
some art of the twins on the left there, tyreen is so much shorter than troy omfg
and this does indeed looks to be a younger version of angel so credit to @prettypinkdork for mentioning that on my angel post. it is nice to see those tech-y wings in action, definitely does prove it’s her.
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we can also see this art of what i think is Punk Girl, which is interesting to me because she looks to be doing something with her right hand. possible siren powers? maybe! 
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we also get a much cooler, bigger version of that maliwan ship people were talking about, with what look to be maliwan... eye bots? surrounding it. this is soooo fuckin awesome to me because it reminds me of a sailboat. and airships are fucking COOL
but something interesting is that i don’t think this ship was actually always maliwan
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we got an A in the back here... for Atlas? i mean... you know it’s coming... the colors would match up. Yeahhhhhhh...
more interesting is that it actually looks like maliwan covered it up with their flags/tarps. i would not be surprised if this was claimed by maliwan possibly during the takeover.
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a cyclone, with a whole fuckin lot of detail. just... holy shit.
not much else to say here though. i like the stuffed animal on the side, though
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a better shot of jakobs manor which holy shit looks badass as fuck
big turret/observation thing on the right there? im not sure
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pretty sure this is eden-6. also more tropical trees? possibly a water planet? but maybe just ocean on eden-6. also there seems to be like webbing on whatever is on the road, so maybe some spider-like wildlife?
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most important to me is this
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yeah i would bet that’s eridium/slag/the chemical sludge from elpis
im pretty convinced this is something on elpis mostly because the DAHL logo on the side. which again, they were on pandora yes but they were mining for iridium not eridium. if this was pandoran pumping stations, that would be hyperion.
i do think this is elpis. and i do think the twins are using the chemical sludge that mutated the lost legion into those fake siren things to give their followers superpowers.”holy holy holy” indeed.
this, plus the rakk wings on the psycho in the mask of mayhem are just convincing me more and more
that’s all for now folks. i gotta run
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Text
The full story
(Heya all! This is litteraly the full story of Maeddrona up till the point im rping her, I just kinda took this moment to word vomit everything I made for this character, she’s been developing in my mind for about six months, So, yeah. OOC super Long post under the break!)
Maeddrona is a literal incarnation of the void, previously I mentioned it being old, but the void is old and a God actually looked around as the universe got more and more busy and full- It just kinda.. stopped. Once humans became a thing it looked at mortal life and envied humans for achieving so much with so little time, it looked at the smaller picture of happiness humans could carve for themselves amidst a bloody history. So it just kinda, gave up it’s greater power and sentience, it’s essence possessing humans every once in a while.
These humans would usually barely live passed the age of 15, their lives being ended by some odd coincidence one way or another. It seemed as if dark reality had no place for hope and optimism. There was one that lived to be older, in about the 2nd Millennium *cough*  but she was murdered but someone very close to her.
Now, Maeddrona was growing up on her planet of Fortuna a little bit before Emps has started his rise on Terra. She reaches about age 35 and is the first Void-Born to awaken to her powers.
The entire planet is wiped clean of animal life and the planet itself is shrouded in an odd bubble-ish thing of space so warped you can look at it and see the stars behind you. This is only an illusion, and a result of the explosive amount of power awakening her, but she is left alone on this planet and with the isolation of the Age of Strife, no-one’s gonna show up. (if someone did show up, it would look almost like a black hole might be there, and they’d turn right the fuck around, because whatever that is, we’re not fucking with it)
So Maeddrona, now awakened to her void powers, realizes she... can make things happen by thinking about them on the Planet. Nothing big or overly huge- but time seems to have stood still since she gained her powers, but if she focuses on a plant growing and producing fruit, that’s what that one plant will do until she stops thinking about it. So she can at least survive- just, things are... wrong here. She also begins to have dreams, memories of each past life. Not movie-style, i mean boring, day by day, feels like real time dreams until she wakes up. It it does feel like she is this person, not like she’s watching from outside. She doesn't quite understand what these dreams mean. but she begins to write them all down in a journal.
Though, with Maeddrona being void, have discovering she can utilize a pocket dimension of just empty space, and that putting anything besides herself in there will slowly desolve it. A being with power like this and also who just caused an entire planets worth of population to die would be very interesting to atleast one God i can think of...
So Tzeentch enters her head, uninvited, occasionally, and tries to find out what the fresh funky fuck is happening in THIS corner of the galaxy! Maeddrona is convinced she’s going crazy and the eldritched fuck is all for it. Eventually Maeddrona says something like “prove to me you’re a god of knowledge and not my mind going mad, give me the knowledge I need to escape this fucking planet.” So she stands there, waiting for her mind to suddenly ascend with understanding and learning.
Then a book drops to the ground next to her.
Then another.
Then it starts RAINING BOOKS and she just runs to hide in a building, Fully believing a god was in her head now.
So, now, she starts reading and begins making a ship. It takes her the better part of  50 years (when she awoke to the void her body stopped aging, but more as a “she is nothing, neither alive nor dead” kinda thing) with non-stop work and learning and failures and dedication to get SOMETHING functional. (Thankfully she has an entire worlds worth of resources all to herself) Then she starts fucking with how to FTL travel- because she doesn't have a warp drive. She couldn’t actually make one- so she fucks around with the void, and finds she can travel trough the void while going through the warp as a bit of a substitute. (Its similar to how the Tau FTL travel) So she ends up getting to another planet! But she enters in so close to the planet that she kinda crashes. not far from her crash she finds a few dying people- she (correctly) assumes this might be her fault and tries to fix it, attempting to do something with her powers to save them. She saved one. She makes the first Void-Touched. The void changes her hair, and it tells her a name that she likes far better than her own, and is so grateful to Maeddrona that she wants to follow her when she leaves. Maeddrona isnt alone anymore
(at this point I should mention I take a lot of things from Warframe- specifically names, weapons, frames and abilities. I just love it so much!! but that’s all I really take.)
So for the next long while Maeddrona flies about space, making another deal with Tzeentch to get dreams from people dying that are compatible with the void (she doesn’t question how he knows who is and who isnt, he’s a God *shrugs*) and gets about 30 people in her little family. Occasionally they run back to her Fortuna because it’s their planet now and no-one else knows its there. (Yes, i have all of these as OCs, i know all their plots and stories;;;;)
Then one dream leads her to Terra, where a small boy is dying. Foolishly, she goes. She has much better control over her powers now, masking the ship with the same warped gravity look to try and mask their presence as they go to the biggest hornet nest in the galaxy.
And she is not surprised when the warmongering ruler of the planet does interrupt her in the middle of saving a child. He questions her, and she answers honestly. But her soul just feels... wrong. off. like it’s not there, but obviously something is!
She smiles, and offers her greetings. She does not prostrate herself before him, does not whisper rumors and legends and feats of his beings.
She smiles and patiently waits for him to respond. through their conversations an interest grows. Both are old souls and both hold immeasurable power.
And both consider themselves human.
When she says she is void, he asks if she is Chaos, ready to destroy her if needed. She gags. As by now she knows the intentions of the voice in her head, He and the 3 others have stolen a few of her Void-touched. “I am no God.” would come her reply, Honest.
He would then decide, though not entirely honest, she is no threat, And that these powers she speaks of are interesting, He asks if she would mind being studied,
of course she says yes
the fool she is
Eventually a relationship does form, and while their views are fairly different on many topics (read: most if not all) they balance each other out when they are willing to listen to one another, as both are incredibly hard headed and stubborn. He lets her in on the Primarch project, wanting her insight on raising children as she has been motherly to most if not all her Void-touched.
And he even offers they should make a child from her genetics, to raise along with the Primarchs. She will be human- or Void-born as Maeddrona would call her. But she loves the idea.
Then, tensions rise a bit. the primarchs are still being developed, but Emps wishes to increase the reach of his Imperium a bit as well. there is a system he wishes to acquire- and Maeddrona offers her and her children to do so instead, they can get there faster and her children are very effective with their abilities and such. But he refuses.
This is not the first time this has happened, she thinks he is afraid of the Void, afraid that it is too similar to chaos to be fully trusted on battle. And then, Tzeentch speaks to her once more, agreeing with her, She’s right! Of course she’s right! She should just get there first and do it before he arrives anyway. Show him he’s wrong, give him undeniable proof.
So she does. And... the conversation she has with the Emperor is less than pleasant, It is long distance, but he has been aware of Tzeentch talking to her for some time, he was growing worried that she wouldn’t shoo him away and would sometimes humor his asinine conversations. But now
Now she’s starting to listen to Tzeentch.
He tells her they will have a talk when he arrives, and plans to give an ultimatum as she is so close to falling and she doesn’t even know it. While waiting for Emps to arrive Maeddrona makes a discovery that she is pregnant, this being incredibly exciting news as she believed the void made her infertile.
When Emps finally arrives and she is sent for, and he feels something is wrong. When he sees the presence of two souls, though masked and hard to make out from the void, his mind is not on pregnancy, it is on her fall. He assumes she has allowed Tzeentch to at least semi-possess her and makes a decision, he grimly faces her smiling self and names her an enemy of the Imperium.
At first she is stunned into immobility- but then he begins approaching her, and she flees. She uses the void to go back to her ship and tells all her family that the Emperor is going to kill all of them- So she uses her power and uses escape pods to put them all in Void-stasis (it’s like a Schrodinger's box really, while it’s closed, whatever’s inside of it does and does not exist at the same time until someone opens it and everything exists again. So, they arent even sleeping, just not existing.) and sends them out, one by one, because she doesn’t understand and thinks he’s here to slaughter them because of the void.
She then send out two pieces of equipment, a head accessory known as the “Halo of the void”, and her giant two handed long sword, the “Blade of void.” She then separates her soul into three pieces among herself and these things, using her emotions  as separation points.  Her confusion and shock go into the Halo, her anger and feelings of betrayal go into her sword, leaving her with her fear. Her incomparable fear. She sends these two pieces out into their own pods
And the Emperor boards her ship. It is quiet, eerie as he walks. It is not a warship. This is their home. This is where they lived, had comforts and hobbies. The walls are lined with pictures and drawings, many areas are made to be comfortable lounging areas, doors are stuck open from the commotion, leading windows into shared rooms of her children.
This was their home. And he must walk through it to get to where Maeddrona is hiding. And when he does she is a mess, curled up on the ground and sobbing uncontrollably. It’s too late for words as she approaches her, but he stops. He cares for her enough to want a near painless death for her- but curled up like this she has made it impossible, so he contemplates how to go about this,
His pause gives her hope, and she uncurls for a moment, bleary eyes looking up at him,
And she says his name. She says his name. She knows his name yes of course she knows his name. Spoken with hushed voice only to him in their moments of privacy and passion.
Now said breathlessly
As his sword is already plunged through her.
As this happens, Limbo, the first Void-touched Maeddrona ever made, enters, trying to save Maeddrona and escape together. And she screams. Rushing to her mother’s side, crying, bawling, and screaming at the Emperor.
He leaves, he does not need to kill her child- then she screams about what Maeddrona was going to tell Him.
About her pregnancy.
And he does stop in his tracks at that, the truth of the second soul’s presence now dawning on him. But he only stops for a moment before continuing back, through the halls of a ruined home, with his mistake and his mistake alone.
He then returns to Terra to find the Primarchs scattered.
And that’s where this story turns, The Emperor basically dies with the Heresy, his soul shattered. Then one small part, one tiny bit, that loved Maeddrona, that never stopped loving Maeddrona, finds her small soul in the warp. As the void is like permanent marker- you can never really get it off once it’s on something. So he finds her, attaches his soul to hers and uses what of his power he can to give her a stable body in the warp.
And that is the Maeddrona I have as my muse :)
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