#i wish I hadn’t moved so far from home bc I wish my mom could just come help me with this but my parents are on the other coast

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I’m tired of being in a bad mood but like nothing is going well rn

[uwuwriting]

A little early for that w/ Todoroki, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: hii can i req a hc of todo, shinsou, and bakugou seeing y/n taking care of eri then they’ll be like “i want a baby with you” :D - anonymous

Don’t get me started on the latest BNHA chapter. I just don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to make a double upload today so maybe expect a song fic after this one Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff

Todoroki Shoto 

-It was during Eri’s visit during christmas that it hit Todo. 

-You were dressed in a Santa costume just like everyone else with Eri gripping your hand as you took her around the room explaining all about Christmas celebrations. 

-It was a very mundane moment if you think about it. 

-You were being kind and caring to a child who had suffered immensely at the hands of Overhaul and you wanted to show her what the holiday was all about. 

-Now that he thinks of it, it shouldn’t have struck him like it did. 

-His chest became warm and fuzzy, his cheeks heating up a bit as he stared at you and Eri. 

-Then you kneeled down and brought Eri into a hug, raising her into the air so she could place an ornament on the class’s tree and it was game over for him. 

-He prides himself in being a rather collected person but at that moment he lost all sense of control over his emotions. 

-His mouth hung open and his chest started to squeeze, knocking the breath out of him. 

-He couldn’t help the thoughts of the both of  you owning a house somewhere not very far from Tokyo, waking up to you every morning , making breakfast with you and enjoying all the moments you shared. 

-Then other images flooded his mind. 

-Sitting in the living room as you steadied your toddler, a perfect mix of the two of you, helping them waddle towards him. 

-Him helping them place the ornament at the very top of your Christmas tree every time you decorated.

-He could see your smile so vividly he almost thought it was real. 

-It was a ridiculous thought for a 16 year old to have and he knew it but in that moment he let himself imagine it. 

-Before he knew it you were standing next to him, Eri running off to Aizawa excited to share what she just learned about christmas,  arms crossed over your chest as you let out a happy sigh. 

- “My santa work is done for the day.”

- “You would make a great mom” 

- *pikachu meme*

-He sensed your confusion *and so did your dead ancestors*

- “I want to be next to you when that happens.” 

-Girl you got whiplash from this whole conversation. 

-You couldn’t decide if you were soft and giddy since he basically said that he wants to start a family with you or if you were terrified because he said he wants to start A FAMILY WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE BARELY 16. 

-In his defense he didn’t say he wanted to start now. 

-So you kinda calmed down. 

- “I-um thank you Sho. I think you would make a great father too.”

-Blushy blushy baby after that one. 

-Some denial sprinkled on top because trauma but blushy blushy boy. 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Okay now third year Shinsou is a stressed Shinsou. 

-A third year you is a stressed you. 

-And a field day with your now ten year old somewhat trauma free adopted by your homeroom teacher child was what you both needed. 

-Shinsou is like a big brother to Eri at this point. 

-He has babysat her one too many times to not be considered at least a stable figure in her life. 

-You had decided to take a stroll in the park, the autumn air and all the pretty leaves making it a sight to behold. 

-Plus it had a pond with ducks. 

-And you love ducks. 

-Shinsou had brought some bread crumbs so you could feed them and that’s what you were doing when it hit him. 

-That weird domesticity. 

-You were crouched down on Eri’s height, one arm wrapped securely around her small waist so she wouldn’t fall into the pond and the other was outstretched with a piece of bread, motioning to the ducks to approach you. 

-It was a nice scene, picture perfect if you asked him and it did something to his heart strings. 

-Just like Todo he imagined walking home with you after a tiring day at your agency, your hands intertwined, matching golden bands circling your ring fingers. 

-He imagined a little Y/N being next to you and not Eri. 

-Vibrant purple hair sticking out at every which direction as they would throw bread at the ducks maybe even calling him over when one got too close. 

-He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed you standing in front of him, waving your hand over his eyes so you could get his attention. 

- “Earth to Toshi!” 

-You giggled when he shook his head, his eyes wide as he stared at your smiling features. 

- “Eri is hungry-” “You are hungry Y/N-chan!!!” “- and she wanted to go get some good old onigiri from that new shop that opened down the street.” “Lies…”

-You side-eyed the little girl who outed you, her own eyes staring right back in accusation as you let out a sigh saying under your breath “I’m hungry”

-He couldn’t control his laughter as it bubbled from his lips, ruffling Eri’s hair while giving you a kiss on the lips as he circled his arm around your waist and took Eri’s with his other one. 

- “Can’t say no to my girls now, can I?” 

-It was later that night when he voiced his thoughts. 

-You were asleep in his dorm, laying basically on him with your head tucked in his neck as you breathed evenly. 

- “It’s a little early to think of kids but I can’t wait to have one with you.” 

-And with that he fell asleep his dreams being filled with images of you.

Bakugou Katsuki 

-You managed to get him to say that???

-Mister tough as balls?

-Mister imma roundhouse kick you if you look at me with affection in your eyes?

-Someone get this girl a medal. 

-But in all seriousness it was a very motherly move. 

-You were in your second year, the events of the war with the villains still haunting all of you so everyone was keeping an eye on their loved ones and their classmates. 

-Bakugou was no exception .

-Seeing people getting hurt severely, seeing himself so defeated and hurt during those battles had rattled him and he would always linger close to you, a slight paranoia having taken his place in his heart the past few months. 

-You understood why he did it, why he hovered next to you most of the time and if you were being honest it didn’t really bother you * except from that one time you went to the bathroom and he called you three times in a row bc he couldn’t see you and panicked*

-Eri was running around with Kaminari and Sero, the three of them playing tag with the one brain cell they all shared at the moment. 

-Suddenly, Eri tripped and fell, scraping her knee on the pavement, small tears forming in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. 

-In a flash you were next to her, a hand massaging her knee around the area of the wound while the other one was cupping her cheek, your thumb making small circles on the girl’s cheekbones. 

- “It’s just a scratch. See? It’s not that bad.”

-Bakugou was just staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, his immediate thoughts being that you looked so motherly in that moment. 

-The concern and the reassurance reminded him of his mother when she would calm him down after he got hurt, before she became a pain in the ass *as he likes to say*.

-Without him even realizing it he made a mental image of your shared family. 

-A house in the outskirts, with a yard, maybe a dog running around. 

-But most importantly a little demon that looked like you, climbing onto your shared bed on his day off, nestling in between you two as it went back asleep.

-You making breakfast while having them in your arms. 

-He really wished he could see that now. 

-But he’s a little young and you wouldn’t really like having a baby before finishing high school sooo he kinda buried it. 

-He told you about it when you both were in his dorm getting ready for a movie night. 

-It was a more aggressive approach but you got the point of his little rant. 

- “I want to spend my life with you too Katsu.” 

- “SHUT UP SHITTY WOMAN!”

- “OI!”

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @wolfkid22​ @letscheereachotheron​ @ezoyscorner​ @luluwiie​ @threeamwriting​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1857

tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs

a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!

william: 803 words

it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble

but you wouldn’t have it any other way

you two are very close and everyone in the town knows

that, and that you both hate nobles

so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased

you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business

but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william

literally

some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist

“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”

you don’t know who you were expecting

BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE

“are you alright?”

“i’m fine thank you—“

you’re absolutely flustered

how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!

“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation

but lil did you know he actually knew who you were

or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be

he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact

and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming

but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued

so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall

he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you

and boy does he fall FAST

it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???

lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth

if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠

i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light

you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”

it is bad

even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look

dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him

it does NOT help that he’s a noble

“so,,, you’re a noble”

“your cooking is amazing sir”

your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william

“i’m sorry for my father”

“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”

you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips

“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.

“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.

“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”

you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room

however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william

your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears

she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies

he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world

but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little

he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased

william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother

it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you

your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love

but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william

louis: 508 words

everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town

the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao

he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work

tried

of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped

you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop

hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you

you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt

everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic

so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back

and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????

“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”

he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you

he ends up going home with you

you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide

“who is this boy?”

“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”

your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking

“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”

he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside

“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”

louis is so awkward pls

your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house

“does your child do this often?”

“why? do you find it strange?”

YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS

anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction

louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little

soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well

he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door

“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”

your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim

“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”

you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again

as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today

surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day

albert: 546 words

he meets your father before he meets you

it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you

your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough

so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call

in all honesty, albert was disgusted

no one deserved to be brought up like that

he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething

“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”

who is this earl to tell him what to do?

needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball

days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can

it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother

you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause

“your father is the earl, is he not?”

“you are a general of the army, are you not?”

a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly

“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”

he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them

“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”

he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed

he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company

the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate

your father is not pleased at all

“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”

“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”

and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????

of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile

he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him

but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new

you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective

it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you

“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”

your father rejects the idea without any hesitation

“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”

when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father

but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

[lloydskywalkers]

Heyo! Hope your doing exceptionally well, wonderful and ur staying safe! I was reading ur little oneshots for the movie! Verse and instantly fell in love! Think u have anymore for Kai and Lloyd? (But u don’t need to listen to this, obviously hehe) Have a splendid day!

ahhH thank you, I hope you’re doing well too!! :D oh man it’s been so long since i’ve written something for movie-verse, but I’ve had this little snippet in my head for a while so I guess it’s as good a time as any (and it is, of course, about kai and lloyd bc when is it noT)

it’s a little different than what i usually write, for movie-verse? but i hope it fits the bill! (takes place pre-movie, btw)

Of all his friends, Lloyd thinks Kai is most like the sun. Not just for his codename, and the enthusiasm with which he brings fire to the team, metaphorically and far too often literally, but for how bright he is. Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun at full force, strong and blazing and staunchly refusing to let anyone hide from his warmth. An endlessly combusting ball of stubbornness and passion.

Kai also reminds Lloyd of the sun in the way that he possesses about the same amount of brain cells the sun does, which is zero, because the sun has no brain — much like Kai.

“Hey, ru—de, ow, stop—”

Kai’s petulant response strangles off in cracked pain as Lloyd hushes him, simultaneously pulling the alcohol-soaked cloth from his arm with a sympathetic wince.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lloyd murmurs, wringing the edge of the cloth. “But I’ve gotta — it’ll get infected, if you don’t—”

“Nah, s’okay,” Kai says, breath hissing out through clenched teeth. He gives Lloyd a wavering smile that could almost be encouraging, were he not bleeding over Lloyd’s faded bedspread. “Just caught me off guard, I’m good now. ‘Sides, the — the stitches are gonna be worse, so—”

“It won’t be that bad,” Lloyd promises him, cleaning the rest of the deep slashes that run across Kai’s arm as quickly as he can. The lower ones aren’t so bad — he could get away without stitches, maybe. It’s the uppermost one that scares Lloyd, cutting deep enough into Kai’s skin to pose a threat. And Lloyd has no intention of leaving Kai anywhere near in danger, especially with the reason he’s hurt in the first place.

Lloyd swallows against the thick lump that suddenly forms in his throat, trying to banish the flood of emotions that have been rising since the battle against his father’s forces earlier. Surprise, shock, gratitude—? A swirling maelstrom of a deep-seated kind of aching warmth Lloyd is utterly unfamiliar with. It leaves him off-kilter, and words don’t come easily as they usually do.

Not that words ever come easily to Lloyd, but normally he isn’t quite this stuttering. Maybe. He hopes not. Maybe he’s just hyperaware right now, after everything, and he always sounds this embarrassing.

“I promise,” Lloyd continues, yanking himself from his thoughts as he busies with the needle. “I’ve got a lot of experience, and I’ll be gentle.”

Kai watches Lloyd threading the needle with a thinly-veiled fear, but he nods, the bravado Lloyd’s more familiar with making its way across his face. “Nice,” he says. “I trust you, Dr. Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s hands falter with the needle for a moment, before he resumes sterilizing it, ducking his head. Kai sounds like he means it — Kai sounds like he means everything he says, but the way he says trust hits differently, for Lloyd.

They’ve only been a team for few months, now. Not very long at all, to form any kind of trust in the son of your greatest enemy. Lloyd’s been going to school with some of the same people since kindergarten, and they’ve never looked at him with anything kinder than hatred, much less trust. And yet Kai is here, offering him his bleeding arm in Lloyd’s tiny room, trusting him to repair the damage he only took because he was protecting Lloyd.

Lloyd doesn’t understand. He doesn’t — people don’t — but his team—

They listened to him. Actually listened to him, to Lloyd. They actually listen to him in general, have since they were all thrown together in this odd little grouping, but it hasn’t quite hit home in the way it did tonight, when he’d snapped orders at them in barely-restrained panic, Kai’s blood staining his fingers as he’d staunched the knife wounds meant for him.

They hadn’t flinched back at his raised voice. Lloyd never raises his voice — he’s learned to keep it quiet, soft, unassuming. Even the slightest slip of frustration is enough to send anyone around him murmuring in suspicion, eyes narrowing and hissed whispers of just like his father filling the air.

Lloyd’s voice had been sharp and strained, barking across the rooftop, and they’d listened. No one flinched back, no eyes widened in fear — they’d just listened. They’re still listening, carrying out Lloyd’s orders without question, and it’s — it’s dizzying, if Lloyd had to put a word to it.

Cole and Zane are taking care of clean-up — something Lloyd will have to thank them for later, profusely. Neither were particularly happy about letting Kai out of their sights, but Cole and Zane are better at keeping each other steady than anyone else. It was the right call, Lloyd knows it was. Hopes it was.

But Lloyd hasn’t been having much faith in his calls, tonight. Not after Kai went down.

He swallows, focusing on the sounds reverberating from behind his closed door. Nya and Jay are talking with his mother, Nya’s louder tones easier to hear as she laughs. Lloyd knows her well enough to catch the strain in it, but he knows it’ll fool his mother. They’re distraction — Lloyd’s house was closest, and he’s got the best supplies stashed there. No one questions why he’s the one with the fully stocked medical kit, but Lloyd suspects they’ve all drawn their own conclusions.

He wishes they’d believe him, when he says it’s because he’s worried for them. He grew up with Wu as his uncle, who picks fights on a daily basis — with Morro as his cousin, who picks fights on an hourly basis. Lloyd knows the importance of having the good kind of medical supplies.

He finishes prepping the needle, squeezing Kai’s wrist briefly in warning. Lloyd’s not usually a tactile person — not that anyone would let him be — but he knows Kai soaks up touch like a starved sponge, and Lloyd’s desperate to give any kind of comfort he can before he starts with the needle.

Kai swallows, fixing his eyes firmly on the faded glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across Lloyd’s ceiling.

“Okay,” he says, his voice tight. “Bring it on.”

Lloyd swallows, steels himself, and sets the needle against his skin. Kai flinches at the first prick, eyes squeezing shut briefly, but otherwise he doesn’t move, jaw set stubbornly as Lloyd moves quickly. For his part, Lloyd keeps his eyes locked on the stitches, his hands steady. For all that Lloyd’s made up of bouncing nerves half the time, his hands rarely shake. Never when patching wounds up. He’s always been proud of how steady he can hold a needle, and tonight is no exception.

It’s the least he can do.

Kai suddenly tenses up, a broken-off noise strangling in his throat. Lloyd’s heart twists, but he stays steady, rallying himself. Conversation — Kai likes talking, right? Distraction, he can do that.

“So, um,” Lloyd stutters. On second thought, he’s awful at small talk. But — for Kai. “The way you took down that last guy was, it was really cool. Where’d you learn that?”

Kai bites his lip, exhaling shakily before he answers. “I train too, you know.”

Lloyd’s mouth quirks, despite himself. “Not like that.”

“What, a ninja can’t — can’t get creative,” Kai replies, through half-gritted teeth. Lloyd doesn’t say anything, but Kai rolls his eyes, continuing. “Fine. When I was younger, I ah…might’ve taken a few dance classes. For Nya! ‘Cause I couldn’t let her go alone, y’know, but they were — they were kinda fun, I guess, and maybe they slip into fighting, sometimes.” His cheeks darken, and Lloyd bites back a quiet laugh.

“Nothing like Cole, obviously, ‘cause he’s an actual dancer, but — that’s where I got it from.” He pins Lloyd with a glare, that’s somewhat dimmed by the scrunched expression of pain on his face. “Tell anyone and you’re dead though, okay?”

Lloyd hums his agreement, too focused on the stitches to reply immediately. After a moment, though, he speaks up again. “I did some ballet, when I was little.”

“No way,” Kai says, sounding delighted.

“Yeah, way,” Lloyd says. “I’ve heard from a very reliable source that dancing backgrounds are useful, with ninja stuff.”

“Very reliable meaning your uncle,” Kai grins.

Lloyd shrugs. “Maybe,” he half-smiles. Kai suddenly sucks in another pained breath, but to Lloyd’s relief, it’s likely the last one. He finishes off the stitches with a well-practiced hand, snapping the end of the thread and exhaling in relief.

“There. All done.”

Kai’s eyes widen. “Seriously, already?” He glances down at his arm, his other hand moving up to touch the stitches. Lloyd smacks it away, glaring at him.

“Don’t touch. You still have to watch out for infection. I’ll text you instructions for taking care of it, and everything. Just don’t do anything, ah…”

“No ninja-ing?” Kai finishes for him, crestfallen.

“Probably a good idea,” Lloyd says, apologetic. “But it’s not too bad. Shouldn’t take long, and you can be out, uh, ninja-ing again."

Kai is quiet for a moment, regarding his stitches. Then he turns to Lloyd, who is immediately staggered at the bright smile that stretches across his face.

“Cool. Thanks, Lloyd. You’re good at this.”

Lloyd can’t answer, his throat burning. He forces the welling moisture back, looking away. Kai’s only hurt for him, and that is layered with so much more meaning than Lloyd can comprehend right now.

“No problem,” Lloyd mutters, focusing instead on the voices outside his door in an attempt to find footing again. He can hear his mom laughing at something Nya’s said, open and relaxed in a way his mom rarely is. Lloyd’s heart twists into knots.

He doesn’t deserve them, any of them. Not really.

If Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun, then the rest of the team reminds him of stars. All bright and shining, bursting with warmth in their own way. Maybe not quite at the blazing heat that Kai does, but Nya is a north star if Lloyd’s ever needed one. Jay’s a blinking constellation, scattered stars that form a complex whole much larger than you’d thought. Cole’s the kind of star you see first pop up over the horizon, blending with the oranges and purples of the sunset, like a painting you’d see in soft watercolors. Zane’s the early-morning kind of star, the ones that stay stubbornly after the night’s left, dotting the pale morning with a calm steadiness.

Lloyd would be a planet, he supposes, caught in faithful orbit around the five people who have somehow, for some reason, given him a chance. It’d be generous, though. No, Lloyd is content just to be a moon — with no light of his own, reflecting only the brilliance others give him the best he can.

Kai’s finger taps the edge of his forehead, snapping Lloyd from his thoughts, and he blinks in confusion.

“Lost you there, again,” Kai asks, words mangled through a yawn. “Where’d you go?”

Lloyd shakes his head, turning his attention back to the bloodied thread leftover in his hands. His stomach turns, and he quickly sets it aside. “Just thinking.” He pauses, momentarily lost for words. He settles for jerking his head toward the window, where the smoke trailing from their hard-won battle is still visible against the dark sky, and gives Kai a wry smile. “How much do you wanna bet the cheerleading team comes up with a new song tomorrow?”

It’s been an inside joke for them, the ridiculous songs Chen and his gang keep coming up with to throw at Lloyd, and normally it gets a laugh from Kai. This time, though, Kai is silent, his eyes searching as he stares at Lloyd. Lloyd shifts under the attention, caught off-guard again. He doesn’t know what kind of look this is, that Kai’s giving him.

“They shouldn’t talk about you like that,” Kai finally says. His voice is quiet, but Lloyd can spot the brewing anger in it. Kai’s always got anger to spare.

“Sticks and stones, remember?” Lloyd shakes his head. He’s learned, after a while, that anger changes nothing. “Words will never hurt me.”

“Words hurt when people are throwing sticks and stones at you while they yell about your dad,” Kai grumbles.

“No one’s thrown rocks since second grade, actually.”

“Hm.” Kai’s tone is a mix of thinly withheld anger and mild amusement. Lloyd tilts his head, confused, and Kai gives a huff, anger tugging loose.

“Y’know, people say that if kids throw rocks at you in second grade, it means they’ve got a crush on you.”

Lloyd knows well enough it’s a joke, but he flushes red anyways, heat spreading across his cheeks. “Yeah, sure,” he stammers. Kai laughs at his reaction, though, the odd kind of anger departing, and Lloyd feels he’s found his footing again.

They’re quiet as Lloyd finishes cleaning up the medical supplies, Kai nodding sleepily on his bed while Lloyd carefully washes the needle in the bathroom sink. Maybe he can convince his mom to let Kai spend the night, he thinks. Jay and Nya , too — their apartment isn’t very big, but it’s awfully late to make them walk home, and Lloyd is fine with taking the floor, if he needs to.

Lloyd nods to himself, resolving to ask her once he’s finished hiding the evidence. His mom’s been so thrilled about him having people over at all, he can’t see her saying no. A smile pulls at his lips as he listens to the conversation outside his door again. Jay’s rambling on now, bright and excited without any of his usual reservation. He feels a pang, wondering if Jay’s the same as him — wondering if they’re all the same, playing at muted caricatures of themselves, too fearful to let whatever lies beneath shine through.

He wonders what it means, that they’re the ones with the city in their hands, that weight on their shoulders. Wonders what it means, that Lloyd feels safer with bullets strafing the air around him and his mask on, than he ever has with it off. That Green Ninja will always, always sound better than Lloyd in his ears.

“Hey, uh.”

Lloyd starts at Kai’s voice, twisting the sink off as he turns to face him. Kai looks half asleep, but the smile he gives him is bright as ever.

“Thanks, seriously. Not just for this, but for looking out for us. You’re a good friend.”

Lloyd’s heart skips a beat, his brain latching onto the word friend and holding on tightly, tucking it somewhere safe inside his chest.

“So thanks, Lloyd,” Kai yawns, barely awake at all now, but still stubbornly clinging to the threads of awareness.

Lloyd’s got his own thank you to give back, twisted and strangled behind whatever lump’s formed in his throat, but Kai’s snoring before he gets the chance to say it. So Lloyd tugs the edge of his comforter over his friend — his friend — instead, and runs the words over in his mind again and again, like a treasured line from a book.

On second thought. Maybe Lloyd isn’t so bad. He’s only ever liked his name the way his mom says it, without any of the snapping, harsh emphasis others give it. In others’ mouths, Lloyd’s name is a curse. In his mom’s, Lloyd’s name belongs to a person.

But he thinks, maybe, he likes the way it sounds when his teammates use it, too.

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

[hungerpunch]

if a bruise hurts, press on it right?

8:37 AM · Aug 10, 2020

The worst thing in my life has happened. My dad died

1:11 AM · Aug 14, 2020

thank you everyone, you have all been so kind. i wish i had energy to reply but all i can do is cry and not sleep and arrange his funeral and clean out his apartment and cry. here are some beautiful photos of found of him and my mom in seattle

1:52 AM · Aug 15, 2020

my dad's family (who excommunicated us for 13 years) has made this terrible week so hellish and awful. they have bullied my family and been unhelpful and selfish and thoughtless.

tn i had a full blown panic attack after attempting to deal with them for several hours. now here i am the night before my dad's funeral, heartbroken, exhausted, and to top it off, incredibly nauseous bc of the stress they have caused.

i have not even had a spare 30 minutes to sit down and cry for my dad since i got home. nobody tells you how fast this moves, how much has to get done, that you can't even grieve until after the bloody funeral is over and done with.

i hate that i lost my dad but most of all i hate that I hadn't seen him since Christmas bc of covid and then it turns out we can't have open casket bc his body is not viewable so I will literally never see my dad again and having that taken away from me hurts so much

today i: wrote an obituary ($189 for just his name and 3 lines of text!), scanned 40 photos for a slideshow, moved his furniture out of his apartment and into a storage unit, called 3 credit card companies to close accounts and wrote my eulogy. and there is STILL more to do.

2:04 AM · Aug 15, 2020

i wish you all could be there w me tomorrow to face down his wretched family. i wish you could wreathe me like guardians and not let them even glimpse me much less utter words at me. i wish you all could be a shield and sword. i need so much strength. i cannot do this.

dad please watch over us tomorrow. Please protect me from their horrible judgment. Please be a wall of fire between me and their hateful gaze. Please reach down from heaven and touch my head and bring me calmness and the ability to get through this. I just want to honor you.

10:30 AM · Aug 17, 2020

all week long as i've heard new stories about my dad or met someone he knew, i've wanted to turn around and tell him. i keep forgetting i can't pass any of these loving messages or funny stories onto him. i hope he somehow knows.

we had a short hour-long public visitation for him (masks required) and a woman showed up & told us that when she was a 20 yo she had been crying in a courthouse w her baby, about to be evicted, and my dad saw her and represented her on the spot. got her three months' extension.

she said that three months changed everything and though they didn't keep in touch, she always remembered my dad's name. so when she saw the obituary she knew right away. i could not believe it. it was so fucking moving.

10:50 AM · Aug 19, 2020

first day back at work and trying to write professional emails to people and focus on things feels like the biggest joke of all time.

can i change my email address to mydadjustdied@imhavingabreakdown.com

2:55 PM · Aug 21, 2020

so far i've dealt w this by compartmentalizing every emotion deep down into my own personal void and uhh wearing my dad's tee shirts

don't want to admit how many days ive been wearing this one but it was one he wore so often and it still had the faintest bit of his smell on it. u can't tell but it's very fine blue stripes. blue was always the best color on him.

my favorite inherited possession

8:24 PM · Aug 21, 2020

It's just wild 2.5 weeks ago I had just decided what song my dad and I would dance to at my wedding and was getting ready to visit him and then he died before I could tell him or see him.

it would have been this btw. ik everyone roasts the beatles (which is fair) but some of my earliest memories are my dad singing me this song to soothe me to sleep as a child.

[totallypathet]

Episode 1

Drag Race is back, and so is the Pathet Commentary that noone asked for baby!

Since the UK has just gone into Lockdown #3, I am super glad there's a new series of Drag Race to keep me entertained every week - so you guys better be prepared for these ridiculously long posts, bc I got nothing else on 😂

So first of all let's talk about the format. I do not understand why this show is so obsessed with ~twists~ and ☆turns☆ and making everything a 💫gag💫. Like, nothing was wrong with the usual format? There was no need for this weird staggered introduction/lipsync thing. They kept flicking between introductions to lipsyncs, so it felt like you were always at the beginning of the episode. Very weird. And we all obviously knew that they weren't going to send half the people home on the first episode, so it just felt stupid to have this "lipsync for your LYFE" every 2 seconds. It feels insulting - if you're going to predicate an episode on half the people going home right away, the audience just feels cheated when actually noone goes home and everything we just watched is academic.

It didn't have to be that way either, they could have done all the introductions, had the whole cast do the "walk in" and have their little moment & one-liner; then put them into groups to lipsync? And whatever it is they're going to do with the Pork Chop group, they could have just said? Like "this year the first challenge is in teams, and to decide the teams we're going to have a series of lipsyncs". I have no idea if that's actually what they're doing, but it wouldn't feel as insulting as what actually happened. And then you can still have the "twist" where the teams aren't even and you have to send someone home. I wouldnt have minded that so much. I actually really like the concept of seeing them all lipsync in episode 1! It sets up the season, you can see who's going to be the lipsync assassin, you can see what kind of performer everyone is... I think its a really cool challenge for the first episode! Just the way they went about it was shitty.

The other thing is it was really clear that none of those queens knew they were gonna have to lipsync in their entrance looks, which feels unfair. At least let them prepare properly!

I also really missed the photo shoot mini challenge! Like, i know that it's harder to do that inline with covid restrictions, but I feel like there are still ways. They could have done an outside photoshoot, the photographer would not have had to be near any of the cast or crew... I just missed it.

Anyway, onto the breakdown!

1. Denali

I looooooooooved Denali's entrance look! It was so perfect. I have no idea how she was just casually walking on those skates though?! They looked like real skates, but they can't have been, right? Also, I am such a slut for like, people with super long plaits, and when they twirl the plait wraps around their body! I love it so much. The only teeny little critique I have, and I'm being super nit-picky here, is i think her contour is just a tiny bit too dark, or maybe not blended out super well? Such a nit pick, but the rest of her makeup seemed like beauty makeup, and it was done really nicely, so the contour really stood out to me.

It was also really obvious that that look was not a lipsyncing look. Which is such a shame, because I think she's a really good lipsyncer, I liked her lipsync, but I think it was a little bit hampered by what she was wearing. Its just really unfair that they didn't tell them to be prepared to lipsync in their entrance looks.

Overall though, I like Denali, I think she's great.

2. Elliott with 2 Ts

I really liked Elliott's entrance look, I thought it was a really cool 80s mom look, I liked it! I do think it was a shame that she was standing on stage in between Tina Burner and Kahmora Hall though - there was an all out campy costume on one side, an all out glamour beauty pageant look on the other, and poor Elliott did look a little over shadowed in the middle.

Unfortunately I think she was also middle of the road in the lipsync. Tina Burner is such a powerhouse that I think the other two were always going to look a little lacklustre next to her; but I think not being able to prepare properly can't have helped either! I could go either way on Elliott, I feel like I haven’t seen enough to make up my mind yet.

3. Gottmik

I really honestly thought they were called "GottMilk", which I thought was cute and fun, and I was almost disappointed when I realised I'd read it wrong and it was Gottmik. C'est la vie.

I loved Gottmik's entrance look - the makeup was stunning, the outfit was everything, I really enjoyed it! I'm really looking forward to what looks their going to pull out, especially makeup looks! I do think they're very young, and didn't seem all that confident in front of the judges; which I really hope changes! I think they're going to be amazing, I just think they need to recognise how amazing they are and own it. I also really liked their lipsync! I was finding it really hard to call between them and Utica, they both did great!

I'm also super excited to see a trans man on the show, we love inclusive drag! Hopefully this is a step towards the show being less transphobic. I'm going to be really interested to hear what Gottmik has to say about their experience on the show - particularly in a few years when they're no longer under contract with RuPaul.

Really excited by Gottmik, can't wait to see what they bring!

4. Joey Jay

I'm not convinced by Joey Jay just yet. I didnt buy everything she was selling this week. I don't know why, I just feel a bit...underwhelmed, maybe? I liked her confessionals, she seems quite funny, and self aware, which I love, I'm just not sure about her yet. I hated her entrance look, which probably didn't help 😂 the chicken feathers didn't bother me, I kind of love a big feather sleeve, and I'm all about being cheap - I do wish it hadn't been moulting though, like baby make sure your shit is glued down before you walk on! There was also something about the wig I didn't like, I think she was going for a wet look with the hair, but it just felt a bit flat. I feel like it didn't go far enough to be proper wet-look, so it just was a bit lifeless. And the bodysuit was cut super weird in the crotch area. It just felt like everything was a little bit off; and I just think for your first look, first impression, making an entrance; it was lacklustre. It's a shame.

The lipsync was okay. Again, I wish they'd been told that they were lipsyncing right off the bat, in their entrance looks, so they just were ready and prepared. Watching Joey Jay's lipsync felt a lot like she was just pulling out her "usual" moves, it didn't feel like she was in the moment. I think a lot of that can be put down to just being surprised and not totally ready? Again, it feels unfair.

I think Joey could be really great, and I do want to see her progress in the competition and see what else she has, I just feel like she didn't get to show her best this week, and I think that's a shame.

5. Kahmora Hall

Kahmora is beautiful. Her face, her body, the big hair, the Mackey dress... stunning. I literally couldn't listen to anything that was said while the camera was on her, I was so distracted by how beautiful she is 😂

I was a little disappointed with her lipsync though, it felt like she wasn't really there, she wasn't really in it? And there were a couple of moments where I think she dropped words. She just didn't seem super sure of herself, which is such a shame, because she walked in with confidence, she stood on that stage radiating star power, and then the lipsync came and she just faded. I really hope that it was just because she wasn't ready, and I really hope we see her kill it next week!

6. Kandy Muse

I can see exactly why her and Aja are friends 👌 I love that she's a big personality, and I think she could be the confessionals queen this season. I kind of love that she shaded Aja as well, because it didn't really feel like proper shade, it just felt like a sort of sibling rivalry, and I thought it was funny! I like her so far. I feel like she's the friend who's very over-excitable, and can be a little annoying, but 1000% has the biggest heart in the group and will always have your back. I relate to her 😂

I loved her entrance look! Any bedazzled and sparkling denim, I am here for it. The dress was gorgeous, I love the tie waist detail that made it look like a shirt tied around her waist, I loved the pearls on the boobs, the denim arm warmers! Everything. I loved it. The denim boom box? Iconic. As soon as she walked in, I got it. I got that she was New York, I saw a little Haus of Aja, I got the edgy beauty thing, I just loved it the second I saw it. The only shame of it is that, because they obviously weren't told they'd have to lipsync in these looks, she kept pulling it up during the lipsync. But thats production's fault, Kandy can do no wrong for me right now 😂

7. Lala Ri

Okay, hear me out. I love her. Her entrance look is the worst one I've seen for at least a few seasons. I hated it so much! And its such a shame, because she's obviously gorgeous, and an incredible performer, and funny, and all these other things, but girl the look was ugly.

I liked the high neck/faux mask thing, I thought that was cute. But it was just a weird look. There was so much fabric at the top of her body, and nothing underneath? And then to have fully bare legs with an ankle boot? No! It was just all wrong. Maybe it would have worked if the roll neck (I assume bodysuit, just for convenience) had been really sheer mesh, so there was a really clear distinction between those layers. And I wish she'd worn pumps instead of ankle boots.

But her performance was one of the best of the week. I loved it, I love how much she just threw herself into it, gave it everything, I loved it. Very much looking forward to seeing other looks from her though!

8. Olivia Lux

What a beautiful smile! Such a gorgeous face. I love love looooved her look, I love a two tone moment! Especially with the gloves - I just wish she'd done the shoes too! I loved it. I also love that it was two pieces, and that she was able to take of that long skirt in the lipsync, and give herself maximum movement! It was a really smart choice.

I also think her lipsync was great! I love that she gave me a little bit of everything; we had a bit of story-telling, a little comedy, a little camp, it was a whole lot of fun! I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was just sparkling.

I'm a little bit in love with Olivia, I think she's gonna be one to watch this year!

9. Rosé

I feel like I might be being unfair on Rosé, but I dont like her very much just yet. Her confidence was just bordering on arrogance to me, and I felt a lot like she was looking down on Olivia Lux for being a less experienced queen? And the look on her face when she "lost" the lipsync was like she was thinking "how could I lose to her", which I just didn't like at all. Idk, I probably am being really unfair, and a lot of it could be the edit, she just seems a little too cocky for me. And I also feel like, how are you gonna be super cocky like that when you've walked in in the most basic look. I don't know, I'm not buying it yet.

Her lipsync was good, but it just felt a little bit too serious, she wasn't having as much fun with it as Olivia.

10. Symone

I love that Symone came in in a dress made of Polaroids. I love it. I love unconventional materials, I love the confidence, I love that she literally came in going "this is me". And the way it was constructed as well, so it had the little flare on the bottom that moved when she twirled? Perfect. Also I love the orangey wig with it! It went so well with the dress, and she looked totally flawless.

Her performance was great as well! She was cute and funny, she knew that song back to front, I loved it. I bought it.

11. Tamisha Iman

Tanisha almost did what I wish Lala had done - the mesh top under the power suit, I loved it! I love a big power shoulder; the only problem I had was the hair. If you've got big high shoulders, you need to have big high hair, otherwise your hair is going to look flat, and you're going to look like you're walking around with your shoulders held up around your ears. Even if she'd just had an updo, I think that would have helped. There also was a little bit of a sense that the outfit was wearing her somehow? I dont know, it just wasn't quite right.

But her performance. She's a performer. She's a dancer. She was giving me Janet. She is one to watch this year. She came to play, she knows what she's doing, and I am so ready for it!

12. Tina Burner

We love a queen with a brand. Of all the entrance looks this year, I think hers was the smartest. I dont really know much about her, other than that she was in the cast, but when she walked in I was like "oh, that must be Tina Burner, she's got the firefighter look happening". Was it my favourite ever look? No, but it was well made, it fit her nicely, it didn't look like anything anyone else was wearing, and it told me exactly who she is; that's what you want from qn entrance look! She did it right.

Tina is also obviously used to sharing a stage with other people; she was perfectly comfortable in that lipsync. She didn't get in anyone's way, but she still knew how to pull focus and be centre stage, even is she wasn't literally centre stage. It was a great lipsync, she knows how to play this game, and I think she's definitely one to watch out for!

13. Utica Queen

I loooooooved Utica's entrance look! I love clashing patterns, over the top accessories, big hair, outfits that just shouldn't work but they really really do.

Unfortunately, I think that's where my love for Utica might run out. She has this cool fashion sense, and clearly a silly sense of humour, bit it felt like she was trying sooo hard to be ~quirky~ and it just came off annoying. Maybe that will improve, maybe I'm being really unfair and I just need to get to know her better, I just felt a bit like "okay babe, calm down".

Her lipsync was pretty good, but again, I feel like she was relying on silly & quirky. I dont know.

Overall, I'm a little bit disappointed in the first episode, I feel like we didn't get to see very much of the queens at all. Like, compare this to season 12; say what you want about season 12, but in the first episode(s) we got to see 5 looks from each queen, and song lyrics to tell us more about them. This episode, we got 1 look, a lipsync they weren't told about, and some chatting in the Pork Chop Loading Dock. I just think its a shame. This show is so invested in twists and turns that its forgotten that the queens are what makes this show special. I want to see them have fun and do well, not be totally defeated in episode 1!

[flowerpowell]

Unexpected (Drake x MC)

PART THIRTEEN

A/N: Please read the warnings! Characters belong to Pixelberry (except for my OCs)

Rating: M (bc of the warnings)

WARNINGS: drug abuse, drugging people, taking advantage of drugged people, please dont read the ending if you’re triggered by these things, there’s nothing descriptive or explicit but just in case.

Word count: 2159

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @hopefulmoonobject @desireepow-1986 @dcbbw @kingliam2019 @the-soot-sprite @mskaneko @thequeenofcronuts @badchoicesposts @burnsoslow @annekebbphotography @alesana45 @addictedtodrakefanfic @walkerduchess @ao719​ @texaskitten30​ @lodberg​ @cordonianroyalty​ @emichelle​ @siriusxxvideos​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @samihatuli​ @choices-lurker​ @i-miss-trr​ @drxkewalker​ @nikkis1983​ @innerpostmentality​ @msjr0119​ @bascmve01​ @mind-reader1​ @edgiestwinter​ @drakesensworld​ @queenjilian​ @princessleac1​ @saivilo​ @yukinagato2012​ ♥

Dani yawned as she opened her eyes and waited for her vision to focus. It took her a moment to register she wasn’t in her hotel room.

“Shoes,” she muttered as she tried to find her phone and check the time.

“Morning,” she heard a voice from behind and turned to see Liam smiling at her.

“Morning. Why did you let me fall asleep? My parents will kill me!”

“I can always put them in jail,” he chuckled as she frantically looked through her purse.

“You don’t know them. They are nice people only if things go according to their plan. I already lost ‘good daughther’ points for being away the whole day,” she tried to get up but quickly sat back down and covered herself as she realized she was in fact completely naked.

Huh, so that wasn’t a dream.

“Would you mind?” she asked motioning to her body but Liam only grinned.

“I don’t, in fact.”

“Come on, I need to put on clothes,” she pleaded.

“Do you really need to go?” he asked as he turned away so she could get dressed. She glanced at him to make sure he wasn’t looking and only then got up and ran to the chair to take her dress.

“I am. Our crazy day turned into night but it’s time to get back to being a proper daughter,” she explained and could see him nodding his head. Her phone was lying next to the dress and she quickly checked the time. It was six thirty, good.

“If they only could see what their proper daughter did yesterday,” Liam joked and Dani threw a pillow at him. “Hey!”

“Thank you, you know, for the day and... night,” she blushed. “I had a great time and I really appreciate it.”

“I’ll ask one of our drivers to drive you back,” he offered, noticing she was putting on shoes.

“No, I’m good, I’ll run.”

“Run?” he raised an eyebrow, “In heeled sandals and a dress?”

“I’m a woman of many talents,” she chuckled. She turned to him to say goodbye and her face fell a little. Why didn’t she notice before how good he looked shirtless? And then it hit her.

I slept with a fricken’ King!

“Well, ahem, I... I gotta go, so bye and thank you... for the dog... and the rest,” she waved awkwardly and ran to open the door but instead of the door, she ran straight into the wall.

“Danielle!” Liam stood up and she tried to ignore the view.

“Shoes! Okay, now I’m going!”

When she left, Liam lay in the bed, both regret and happiness washing over him. They definitely crossed the line but for some reason none of them could help it. And it seemed like nothing changed in their friendship, which was both good and frustrating for him. He closed his eyes, suppressing tears.

Why do you show me what love feels like if I can’t have it?

~~~~

Completely out of breath, Dani arrived in her hotel room. It was right next to her parents’ room and she could hear they were still asleep. She quickly changed to her pajamas and just when she was about to climb into bed, she heard a knock on the door. Before she even walked up to open it, her parents already came in.

“Where were you yesterday?”

“I was... sightseeing. Learning more about the culture and Cordonians. It took me more time than I thought but I feel more educated now,” she answered, hoping it’d satisfy her father.

“Hmm. Well then. But next time you need to tell me exactly where you’re going.”

“Of course, Daddy,” she nodded.

“I wanted to talk to you about something exciting and important yesterday but you weren’t answering your phone,” he narrowed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. What was it?”

“Remember when you ruined your chance and didn’t apply for law school, which almost killed me?” He asked and Dani’s face fell.

“Yes...”

“Well, luckily, I forgave you but the pain you caused me is still with me. The good news is, after months of negotiating, I got you an interview! You’ll finally go to law school and if you’re lucky, find a good and rich husband.”

“Law...school? But... I’m almost twenty-seven, I thought... I--” she struggled to find words. How could she tell her father she wanted to start a family already?

“Danielle Eleanor Brooks, you already ruined one chance, do not ruin this one,” her father raised his voice slightly.

“Of course I won’t. I’m very thankful for what you’ve done for me,” she smiled as she tried not to cry.

“Good. I brought you a some brochures so you can look through them. All your documents are submitted already so you won’t miss the deadline. Just prepare yourself for the interview, that’s the least you can do,” he explained and she nodded absent-mindedly.

“Your mom and I are going out for breakfast, use that time productively to look up information about the program,” he said and left the room.

Dani let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Law school.

She went back to her bed and buried her face in the pillow, letting her tears roll freely. She felt ungrateful even thinking about it but the truth was, she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to go to law school, she didn’t want to marry any rich lawyer.

She thought back to the previous day, how free she finally felt. She wished she could feel that way every day.

She wished she could be with Liam every day.

She sat down, her eyes widened as that thought struck her.

Oh no.

She couldn’t be falling for Liam. He’s a King. And Kings need... Queens. Not someone like her.

But for the first time in her life, she felt like she knew what she wanted. Someone like Liam. Living in a place like Cordonia, far from her parents but close to her sister.

She lay down and closed her eyes.

Oh, please, please, please. Let something happen so I don’t have to go to law school. Let something happen so I can reclaim my life.

~~~~

“Mhm,” Riley moaned as Drake was peppering her face with kisses.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he murmured into her ear and she shivered.

“Morning,” she smiled at him, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world being woken up by that man. She lifted her head slightly and kissed him. Drake kissed her back and he rolled on top of her and moved his lips to her neck.

“Drake,” she whispered, “I need to be in the restaurant in like an hour.”

“You are the boss, you can be late,” he answered not stopping what he was doing even for a moment.

She closed her eyes and decided that Drake was right. Some things were just more important and at that moment, the restaurant was not important at all.

~~~~

Twenty minutes later, Drake and Riley finally went to the kitchen to get breakfast. They ate their toasts in complete silence, not being able to stop smiling. Riley never thought she could be that happy. She was in love with Drake Walker and she couldn’t wait to tell him. Especially that from the way he looked at her she knew he felt the same.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” he asked when they finished and Riley was washing the dishes.

“Yes, I’ll walk. It’s not that far away and the day is beautiful.”

“You are beautiful,” he kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be waiting then. Don’t be too long though, I have plans for us.”

“Oh? What kind of plans?”

“Secret plans,” he smiled at her knowingly. She didn’t want to show him what she was doing with the restaurant, claiming it would be a surprise and he wanted to surprise her with something too.

Since their relationship got so much better, Drake regretted their rocky start and wished he was nicer to her since she was doing him a favor. And even though he still hadn’t said the l-word, he was planning to. Along with a proper proposal, since she never got any. His grandma’s ring was hidden safely in his drawer, waiting for the evening. He smiled softly at the thought of him asking Riley to be his wife, for real this time.

“You can always clean up the house in the meantime,” she grinned, “since Bartie is coming tomorrow.”

“I’ll find something to do, don’t worry.”

Riley just shook her head but Drake caught a glimpse of her smile. She put on shoes and took the keys.

“It’ll probably take me about two hours, maybe more. Plenty of time to clean,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” he kissed her, “come home soon, ‘kay?”

“As soon as I can,” she kissed him back.

~~~~

It was only thirty mintes after Riley left, when Drake heard a knock on the door. Groaning, he got up from the couch where he was napping. His face fell slightly when he saw who was behind the door.

“Hey, Drake,” Kiara started. “May I come in?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he admitted.

“Please... it’s important. I went to see Madeleine and... something about Savannah and Bertand.”

Drake’s eyes widened and he moved slightly, “Come in.”

“Merci. I brought your favorite whiskey so the news is more... bearable.”

She came in and looked around. “Where do you keep glasses?”

“Kiara, no offence, but I’d rather just listen to what you found out so you can leave.”

“I’m trying to be nice, Drake,” Kiara sighed. “The information I obtained... I don’t know if I can trust you with it, especially that Madeleine doesn’t know I’m here. I heard it while she was talking to her private investigator.”

“She’s my sister, of course you can tell me!”

“See, this is why I’m afraid to tell you anything. You get so... aggressive. Just sit on the couch, I’ll pour us some whiskey.”

When Drake went to the living room, she noticed his phone on the counter.

Perfect, she thought to herself as she picked it up. She quickly typed a message and sent it to Riley.

“Bonjour, me cherie, Riley’s out so come here because I can’t get you out of my mind”

If everything went according to plan, Riley would think he sent it to her accidentally. She smiled to herself and deleted the message from Drake’s phone. Then she took two glasses and poured whiskey to both of them. She looked over her shoulder but Drake was sitting on the couch in the living room and could only see her back. With shaking hands, she added something to Drake’s glass and took the glasses to the living room.

“There you go,” she handed a glass to Drake and sat in front of him.

“So what’s the news,” he took a sip and she smiled.

“The investigator said that apparently they had an argument before they went missing...” she started, noticing how quickly the whiskey was disappearing from Drake’s glass. “And it could’ve been an accident that they both just fell off the bridge.”

“Bridge?” Drake asked, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy. He hadn’t had whiskey in like four days, maybe that was why.

“Bridge. Big, grey bridge.”

“Bridge,” he repeated but words suddenly stopped making sense.

“You look tired, cherie, would you like to go to the bedroom and take a nap?”

“Na-aap?” he asked, his vision going blurry. He looked at his whiskey and then at Kiara.

“Wha--aat is happening?”

“Nothing, my dear. I’m saving you from Riley. Shhhh, everything is going to be okay. Just relax and let me take care of you.”

~~~~

Riley was running back home, furious. Whoever Drake sent that message to was probably already in the house. And she wanted to tell him she loved him! How stupid she was!

And even though she still felt angry, she also hoped it was an accident.

Well, I’m just about to find out, she thought to herself as she unlocked the door.

“Drake?” she called out. She heard weird noises from the living room and her heart started beating fast.

Please no, please no, please--

She entred the living room and gasped as she took in what was happening. Drake was lying on the couch, shirtless and on top of him...

Kiara.

The woman was also shirtless, wearing a bra but the worst part was...

She was kissing Drake. And he was kissing her back.

[the-black-birb]

Love in Time Extras

A/N: Now that this story is officially over (I still can’t believe that), I thought I’d post some little tidbits and thoughts that didn’t make it into the final cut and the like. I’m also going to be posting an analysis that I wrote on Tsukishima and the Reader’s relationship when I was bored, but I won’t be tagging anyone in that because it’s probably...kind of boring. 

I don’t want to be annoying with all the tags so I’ll just be tagging some of the accounts who’ve been very loud about the AU!! once again, thank you all for the kind comments!! Even if I don’t reply a lot, they warm my heart. Thank you!!!!

Taglist: @hqkeiji​ @miyulovestowrite​ @babiekeiji​ @soft4kei​ @pinkie-ghuleh​ @yuiicorn​ @asahi-is-baby​ @zoppzoop​ @eijihoee​ @pavlovs-titties​ @nanashinanashi​ @tsukkx​ @fait-de-fleurs​ @issalilmessy​ @ihavewhiplashbecauseofnct​ @iamsuperdumb​ @asianequation​ @bambisfuneral​ @fantasymirror​

I first sent this idea on anon to @4haikyuu​ !! Here is a screenshot of the first time I put into writing what my idea was.

In the first set of profiles, I mention that this fic is meant to be slowburn and enemies to lovers!! I wasn’t confident saying it b/c I hadn’t really drafted it out at that point (I finished my update between the 2nd and 3rd chapters)

When Love in Time was still fragments of ideas, I was going to have y/n and Tsukki has a hot makeout in the “meet cute” chapter and have y/n say something along the lines of “I wanted to see if I could get a one night stand out of you so I had a place to sleep” but I decided that was a bit too promiscuous and I didn’t want to reveal quite yet that y/n had a homelessness issue yk

Kenma is y/n’s best friend. I wish I could’ve delved deeper into their friendship, but I tried to show how she was close with Kenma before anyone else. I also wish I could’ve done more with Yachi and y/n’s friendship, as well as shown more of Kuroo caring for Tsukishima

Kuroo calls Tsukishima “Kei” because he’s closer with him than anyone else.

Kuroo’s username “copper_titanium” is a pun. On the periodic table, copper is cu and titanium is te. He’s calling himself cute. I wanted to do some variation of “cutie” but the username would’ve been too long

I never got into the specifics of which colleges everyone went to but…they’re not all at the same college. Tsukishima and Akaashi go to the same college, which is why they room together for convenience. Kenma, Kuroo, and y/n go to the same college (but a different one from Tsukki) which is only really relevant b/c Kenma and y/n met when they were paired together to design a game! It doesn’t really matter where Yachi and Yams go, but Yachi and y/n don’t go to the same college (bc then they probably would’ve already met, since they were both art majors)

The first time Tsukishima sees Hinata after high school is when they have their celebrator dinner in chapter 18. Before that, he’d avoided him wildly bc Hinata reminded him too much of his insecurities

It’s mentioned in the epilogue that y/n’s art is full of fireflies. This is because Tsukki’s name can mean firefly. He was her muse, left in traces throughout all her art.

When Tsukishima (not if) proposes to y/n, it is at a museum in front of a piece of art that she showed him on their first date.

Museums are symbolic of both y/n and Tsukishima. It showcases y/n love of art, and Tsukishima’s love of history.

I’m not going to put my entire outline out here, but under the cut, I’ve put the first skeleton I had after my initial brainstorm + a few notes. I’ve always had trouble drafting stories and searched to see what other authors did, so I hope this helps!! I used a method I found on this website but different methods work for different people!

Skeleton

Main Character

Y/N & Tsukishima

Status Quo

Y/N is a nude model b/c she is     desperate for money b/c she’s almost homeless

Tsukishima is wildly unhappy and     not taking care of himself because of it

Motivation

Tsukishima’s friends are trying to     help him

Initiating Incident

Tsukishima sees Y/N nude modelling     and is rude to her about it

Developments

Kenma introduces     Y/N and Tsukki to one another, not knowing about the bickering

Hinata sees this     and decides to forcibly involve Y/N with Tsukishima to try and help Tsukki     heal

Tsukki and Y/N     get to a weird, still hostile, middle ground

Crisis

Y/N gets in an argument with     Tsukki the same day that she told Hinata and Bokuto she’d move out. She     ends up sleeping on a park bench, with nowhere to go

Resolution

Tsukki finds Y/N and although he’s     angry, he takes her home with him.

They open up to one another,     Tsukki goes with Y/N to see her talk with her mother and witnessing her     bravery decides to do what he wants, too.

Subplot 1:

Tsukishima has a major that he’s unhappy with (pre-law) and seeing all his friends doing great things makes him insecure. When he sees Y/N following her passion despite fear of instability, he decides to pursue what he wants to do, too (public history!) → we’re all scared of ending up in a career we won’t like, but that is Tsukki’s reality.

Subplot 2:

Y/N wants a stable job but that is incredibly difficult as an artist. At the end of the story, she gets accepted to an apprenticeship with an artist she admires.

Subplot 3:

Hinata wants to have a reunion with all his volleyball friends, but everyone has grown rather distant.

Subplot 4:

Tsukishima doesn’t take care of himself. Not much to say, just wanted to get it out there. Forgets to eat, lays in filth for days at a time, etc. Has a protection group

Character Analysis

Y/N

The core of her character is that she will pursue what makes her happy, to a fault

She had a falling out with her mother after they got in a fight about how pursuing art wouldn't let her support herself and her mom is all "the only reason I'm okay without your father is bc I made good decisions, you can't rely on a MAN" so Y/N is like okay then I will not rely on anyone 😌

She is headstrong to a fault and she doesn't like relying on others.

Got an almost full scholarship to college, dormed for a year but it was dummy expensive so she's been apartment-hopping

At the time the AU starts, she had wanted to dorm w/ Kenma bc they're friends but cat allergy wouldn't allow it. Kenma asked Hinata to take her in bc him and bokuto are out constantly due to training

At the end of the AU she gets an offer for an apprenticeship. When she comes back to Japan, her work is littered with fireflies (Tsukishima)

Tsukishima

He is scared of hating his career bc he fucking hates his major

Sees his friend's success and is terrified he'll never get there b/c everyone is so far ahead of him

Unlike Y/N who won't show people when she's unwell, everyone sees him. He's practically rotting. He'll stay at home and forget to eat and take care of himself

He is so holed up his friends make an initiative to take care of him

Although Akaashi is only his roommate for convenience, it also allows him to send messages to Kuroo about his well-being

Tsukki has a family that loves and supports him and has never had to think about money. He simply has too much Pride to change his major which is where he's different from Y/N

Y/N doesn't want to ask people for money b/c she knows how it feels to struggle. However she has no problem admitting she's unhappy and wants change. Tsukki is the opposite

If Y/N is the wave, constantly changing and unpredictable, Tsukki is the cliff the wave crashes on: stable and steady

[danidoesathing]

ok! i’ve got the beginning and end written, it’s the middle that i need to write still, and it’s disgustingly sweet (i’ll post it to ao3 when i’ve got it finished bc i refuse to upload an unfinished work). also lemme know if you wanna read the ending as well, i wasn’t sure (it, too, is fluffy to hell and back)

Chapter 1:

Tim hated this. He hated it all. He’d rather be anywhere else in the world if he could, he could’ve been at home in his room with his laptop and Jay to talk to, but instead he was here with his mom who thought that she had any right to his life after leaving it for good (when he was twelve years old in a mental hospital too, who did that to their child?) and apparently forgot why she did, since she wouldn’t shut up. He’d had enough by the third hour of the “vacation” she took him to, and maybe if he hadn’t hated pity as much as he did, especially from the one that caused him to be pitied, he would have enjoyed the five-star hotel stay more, rather than feel like he was stuck in one long panic attack. He had managed to get away, though. He excused himself to the bathroom and felt grateful she had allowed him that much. He didn’t pay too much attention to the walk to the bathroom - he was trying to breathe in and out regularly and count to ten and pay attention to what he felt and all the other coping methods they taught him in the ten years he spent in the psych ward. He only realized there was someone else in the bathroom when the person (Tim assumed they were male, this was the men’s bathroom) sighed and firmly said, “I need more time, you can’t just ruin my entire life to gain a few weeks.” 

Brian had really been looking forward to the week he’d spend on his own - privacy and being alone weren’t really concepts that his family understood, and it had only gotten worse when the marriage proposal came. He’d tried to explain countless times that he was gay and that he would rather marry a frog than the fake, manipulative, entitled, rude, homophobic, racist, bitchy, but most importantly rich girl his parents had chosen for him to marry. As if he’d spend more than a minute within a five-mile radius of the piece of shit who wanted his money and his name, nothing else. When the call from his mother (Brian had stopped calling Carol Thomas his mom years ago, when she first started denying his issues and instead punished him for things he couldn’t control) came, he escaped to the bathroom since it was closer than his room, even though it was a lot less private. He didn’t think anything would go wrong, it wasn’t busy at the restaurant and even if someone entered, they would probably leave him alone to suffer in his misery. 

Brian hadn’t noticed the tired man who slunk into the bathroom at first, but when he saw the defeated slump of his shoulders and how utterly exhausted his eyes looked, his mother demanded that he come home the next day. He was pretty sure that everyone within the state could hear his sigh, and he thought about how he had gotten so sick of his own family that this was the case with every conversation he had with them. After his final compromise, he hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for Carol to respond. He knew what she would have said anyway, was far too familiar with the same conversation.

Tim hesitated, trying to figure out what to do - he couldn’t just leave and pretend he’d heard nothing, but he didn’t know this man, like, at all, so he also couldn’t try to comfort him or ask him what was wrong, because something clearly was. 

“Family problems,” Brian said into the silence, which was probably just a few seconds long but to Tim’s anxiety-ridden mind it was a lifetime of waiting. 

Tim smiled slightly. “I’m familiar.” 

Brian made an interested noise.  “You tell me about your life, and I tell you ‘bout mine, alright?” 

He understood what sort of deal this was, he was used to therapists and doctors and psychiatrists trying to take his brain apart and figure out what was wrong with him, to try to fix him (or that’s what they said, but he wasn’t sure there weren’t any other reasons behind their words). He despised being treated like a wild animal who could lose his mind and attack at any moment, with a single wrong move. They had treated him like he was dangerous and they pitied him for it, but Brian, he hadn’t looked scared of Tim. He hadn’t acted like he was trying to play it safe - rather, he had tried to make Tim feel comfortable by making himself as vulnerable as Tim was. He realized that he didn’t want to strangle Brian. I’ve spent so much time with psychologists that I’ve started acting like one, analyzing everything and everyone’s actions. Tim laughed internally at the thought. 

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” He responded, and told Brian about his current predicament with his mother, leaving out the parts in which he was at the hospital - he just said that he had a chronic illness and his mom had left him at 12 when he had been in the hospital for four years. 

“Shit, dude, that really sucks. She doesn’t have any right to your life now, you know that right?” Brian said at the end of Tim’s story, after a short pause to take it all in. “I’m going to sound like a whiny white asshole with my story now,” he added. Tim shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. After all, my life doesn’t invalidate yours,” he said, and the corners of Brian’s mouth twitched up. “I guess you’re right,” he said, and started explaining how his parents wanted him to marry a rich woman high up the ladder of status in the elite community he was born into, and Tim could feel himself tensing up and his mind starting to buzz. 

Brian noticed that the man in front of him was looking a little off, and stopped midway through describing that he only had the next week or so to find his soulmate, otherwise he’d be stuck with someone he hated for the rest of his life. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly, and the other man (Brian only just realized that he knew this man’s life story but not his name, and mentally reprimanded himself for not introducing himself and asking his name) took a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, and Brian didn’t call him out on his bullshit. “Please continue, I’m way too invested in your life now.” He smiled, and Brian laughed. 

“Alright, but first, you have to tell me your name because I’ve realized we haven’t introduced ourselves and it’s killing me,” Brian said.

“My name’s Tim Wright.”

“Brian Thomas. Nice to meet you, I guess,” Tim rolled his eyes at Brian’s antics, but Brian knew he was amused, as evidenced by Tim’s light snort. Tim told him to get on with the story, (a bit like a whining child, but in a good way, Brian thought) and he responded with, “Okay, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

“There isn’t much left,” Brian warned. When Tim nodded his understanding, he continued from where he had stopped, and when he had finished talking about his current fucked-up situation, the other man had been shocked into silence. 

“You have to be kidding me,” he finally said. “There’s no way that that shit’s real and actually happening to you.” 

Brian shook his head and sighed. “I wish I was, but nope! My parents are just assholes who are outta their minds.” 

Tim thought for a second - he had to do something, but he didn’t know what he could to be able to help. He chewed on his lip, and after a minute or so, had an idea that he thought could possibly work. 

“How about we pretend that we’re soulmates?” he asked Brian, who looked taken aback but also as if he was considering Tim’s proposition. Tim was about to backtrack and apologize, maybe say something along the lines of or we can just not do that if you don’t want to I’m sorry for bringing it up you must think I’m so creepy and weird and can we just ignore this ever happened?  

But then Brian nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Actually, I can imagine how that would work. I’d call my parents and tell them that I’ve already found my soulmate and that I want to spend more time with you, and you’d talk to them in order to convince them further if they don’t believe me. I already know I’m gay, so my soulmate is definitely a man, so your voice being a guy’s wouldn’t be a problem and when I find my actual soulmate, if they sound different to you, we could just blame it on the phone being weird through the call. We could say that we wanna spend a few weeks getting to know each other before I leave, and during that time I could find my real soulmate. If I can’t, then we can come up with scenarios in which I’d need to stay longer until I do. Yeah, actually, this is a really good idea, Tim.” 

“Uh, really? I mean, thanks,” Tim said, still reeling from Brian’s rambling. “How are we going to do this? Do you like, I don’t know, wanna call your parents and I can talk to them?”

“Yeah, sure, give me a sec,” Brian fished in his pocket for his phone and Tim internally panicked while Brian called his mother. He would have had a panic attack, but before he could truly get worked up, Brian was already talking. 

“Hey mother, guess what happened - no, you’ll never guess - I found my soulmate! And he’s a guy like I said he would be! Oh, you don’t want my soulmate to be a man? Well, unfortunately, apparently the universe doesn’t share your homophobic views - oh come on, would I lie about this? You don’t believe me? Fine, I guess I’ll have to prove it. Mother, meet Tim.”

“Hello Mrs. Thomas, it’s nice to meet you,” Tim said, and Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t want Tim to be there for it. He hated his parents, and the thought of them hurting Tim in any way was unbearable. Wait, what? I met him like 15 minutes ago, why do I care so much about him? He was going to figure out his feelings regarding Tim, but then he saw how he was getting anxious, so he decided to intervene now and unpack his shit later. 

Grabbing the phone from Tim, he told his parents that he and Tim wanted to get to know each other by staying at the hotel for longer, and when they objected, he simply reminded them that he was his own person and as an adult, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, slowly getting more pissed off with every word that his parents said. Knowing that he would snap if he listened to more of their bullshit, he hung up after letting them know he would stay for a few more weeks in Ohio, though probably in a motel (he wasn’t rich enough to spend weeks at a five-star hotel). He looked at Tim. “Are you okay? You looked pretty freaked out there, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on-”

“No, no, you’re fine. I guess I just felt overwhelmed, sort of? I don’t really know why I felt so anxious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for, like, 16 years. I should be used to it by now,“ Tim assured Brian. "Plus, it worked, didn’t it? they weren’t happy, but they seem to have believed us, so you can stay for a few more weeks and try to find your soulmate. Actually, why are you searching in Ohio and not Alabama anyway? Aside from the obvious reason, of course.” he added. 

Brian frowned. “I don’t really know, I guess this just felt closer to my soulmate. You know how your mark is supposed to like, tingle and shit?” Tim nodded, and Brian continued. “Yeah, I guess that’s why - Ohio feels like I’m closer to finding them than in Alabama." 

"Yeah, I think I get it. It feels the same for me too, if I think about it - my mark feels weird and that’s never happened before, so I must be doing something right,” Tim said after thinking for a while, and Brian laughed.

“Hey, who knows, maybe we’ll find our soulmates in here, and maybe we’ll find them at around the same time - that would be so cool! You know, I think I rather like you, Tim. I’d like to be friends - if you wanna, of course,” Brian said, and Tim answered with an affirmative. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool yourself Brian Thomas, and I would indeed like to be friends, but I really gotta go. Emily’s probably going out of her mind, wondering where her son she found after 12 years went to,” Tim joked, and they exchanged numbers. 

“ So, I still have a week or so left, which means I’ll probably see you around the hotel and shit. Bye Tim,” Brian called as he left the bathroom, and Tim waved back before following.

  Chapter 2:

Brian walked back to his room, since he had already finished his dinner, and contemplated the last hour. He had gone from having to fight his parents for less than a week to find his soulmate to being given permission (well, sort of. Brian thought it counted if they had always encouraged him to do something until it actually got to the point in which said thing would be applicable - they couldn’t just change their minds because they were homophobic assholes) for almost a month doing whatever he wanted wherever he wanted to. 

Of course, there was also Tim. He didn’t quite understand why he liked Tim already, or why Tim had helped him, but he knew that he didn’t regret it at all. Plus, they were friends now, and he felt that they would only get closer with time. He’d arrived at his room by this point, and after entering, he decided that he wouldn’t get anything else done today. Within minutes he was in bed - no point pretending to be functional when there was nobody around to see it, and plus, he was very sleep-deprived and he should probably go to sleep to fix that. 

Since he’d been lying still with his eyes closed for over an hour, Brian believed that he was justified in going on his phone. However, once he opened his phone, he realized that he didn’t really have anything to do, and in a moment of boredom and apathy for his future, he decided to text Tim.

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: Hey tim

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: it’s me brian

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: if you couldn’t tell

  He was surprised to see that Tim was online, and soon enough, he saw Tim’s typing bubble pop up.

  Tim [23:44]: yeah 

Tim [23:44]: i saved your number

  Tim [23:44]: anyway whats up

  Brian smiled because of course Tim was awake, he totally seemed like the type of person who’s constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

  savingprivatebrian [23:44]: nothing

  savingprivatebrian [23:45]: i just couldnt sleep

  Tim [23:45]: i get that

Tim [23:46]: insomnias a bitch

  savingprivatebrian [23:46]: yep

savingprivatebrian [23:47]: so do you wanna just talk until we can sleep

  Tim [23:47]: please

He laughed at Tim’s response, and settled comfortably into his nest of pillows (perks of five-star hotels) to talk to Tim.

In the end, they both agreed to go to sleep at around 3:30 in the morning, after having texted for almost four hours. If he wasn’t so sleepy, he might’ve wondered why conversation was so easy when he was talking to Tim when he normally wouldn’t be able to even form sentences with people he knew as little as he knew Tim. Instead, though, he placed his phone on the bedside drawer, rolled over, and fell asleep within minutes, still with a little smile playing on his lips.

  Chapter 3:

  A week later, Tim’s mother left to go back to work, and Tim promised her that he’d come to visit every now and then. He was surprised to find that he was planning to keep that promise - after his mom explained her reasons, he learned that she hadn’t left because she wanted to, only because she had to. Her life had been easier without him, and that realization hurt. He had held her back her entire life, and he really couldn’t blame her for having done whatever she could to get rid of the reason she couldn’t be happy. He was over it, though. He had had more than a decade to come to terms with the fact that everyone he cared about would leave him eventually, when they realized that he would always be problematic, that he would never get better, and that he would always drag them down. Why would anyone stay with that?

Then came was Brian. Tim knew that he was falling, falling hard, but he also knew that Brian didn’t feel the same - they both wanted to find their soulmates, and even if Brian did like someone as fucked up as Tim, when he found his soulmate, he’d just leave. 

He had told Brian about his mom and how he felt, as well as why he was in a hospital for 10 years, and Brian’s only reaction was to hug him (they didn’t notice that no parts of their skin had made contact, Tim would later realize) and telling him that he’d never leave. That was a bigger deal than Brian realized, and he had broken down crying, which caused Brian to start crying too. They had spent about 2 hours talking about their problems, and Tim left Brian’s room feeling better than he had for over a month. They had only been friends for a few days at that point, but there was no denying that they had a connection - they were already so, so close (and if Tim wanted them to be even closer, well, no-one had to know). 

Jay had called, on the second day. He had asked what was going on and why the hell Tim hadn’t texted or called him - rightfully so, since they usually talked daily and it had been more than 2 days with nothing. Tim had ranted about Brian and his mom, but it had taken Jay about ten minutes into Tim’s monologue to point out that he was totally crushing on Brian, and Tim had found himself unable to argue. After talking for over an hour, Jay had hung up with a threat to Tim if he didn’t text him everything that happened. 

Tim thought back to that conversation many times over the following days - he could trust Jay to call him out on his bullshit and help him work through it, and he knew Jay could do the same. Whenever his anxiety convinced him that they simply tolerated his presence and actually hated him, Tim would text Jay (and now Brian) and Jay would not stop texting him until Tim had no doubt left about their friendship.

On his last day in the hotel, a week after he arrived and met Brian, he had breakfast with Brian to talk about what they were going to do, since this was Brian’s last day too. 

“Over here,” Brian called out as Tim walked into the restaurant in the hotel, from which they got free breakfast. 

“Hey,” Tim said when he sat down. “You wanna go get some food? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. Just a second,” Brian put his stuff on the extra chair, and connected his phone to a charger. “My battery’s at 12 percent,” he explained at Tim’s questioning look.

“Alright, let’s go. What do you wanna get?” Brian asked when they entered the self-service area.

“Eggs and bacon first, so they cook, but I’ll look around anyway to see what’s there,” Tim answered while grabbing a plate.

“Why didn’t you get a fork and knife too?”

“Because I’ll drop them, Brian.” 

“Ha, weak.”

“Do you really want to try me?” 

“Geez, you’re just so scary.”

“I know.” 

They had reached the omelette station, and they waited for their orders to be cooked in comfortable silence, which was new to both of them. Shaking his head, Tim decided to ignore his lack of friends while he was so happy and had the chance to spend time with someone who not only could tolerate him, but also wanted to befriend him. 

He was brought back to reality by Brian nudging him, and snapped his eyes onto Brian in alarm, quickly realizing there was no threat, there was just his food (paranoia had become a reflex at this point, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to laugh or cry because of it). 

Throughout breakfast, Tim found his eyes lingering more and more on Brian’s lips when all social and conversational norms stated that his gaze should be on his eyes or overall figure to watch his body language and hand gestures, so like everyone else who’s ever been in this situation, he decided, okay, we’re going to put these feelings of attraction in a box, now close it, and yep! Push it as far away from coherent thought as you can, right up against the childhood trauma, self-hatred, insecurity, and look! It’s the box of fear of abandonment. Now, we don’t think about these, so surely this’ll be safe here. After cataloging everything into the dark basement of his mind, buried deep under everything else and covered in the mental equivalent of cobwebs and a layer of dust over everything, he simply looked away from Brian’s mouth and focused on literally any other part of his body, like, like- his eyes! That would surely work, wouldn’t it? You can’t possibly mess eye contact up, even though you’re, well, you, Tim. Don’t fuck this up with your social incompetence.

Yeah, no. After only a few minutes of trying to draw his attention away from what Brian would taste like, he found out that eyes are just as dangerous as lips, since he found that it was easier than it should be to get lost in Brian’s warm hazel eyes. He never realized that there were rings of different colours, and with the light framing his face, he looked otherworldly, like he didn’t belong to planet Earth or at least had some kind of magic coursing through his veins, just like warmth was coursing through Tim’s as he drowned in the ocean of brown and green filling Brian’s eye sockets. Because he was drowning, drowning, drowning as he forgot to breathe, move, do anything at all in the haze that came over him.

-------------------------------

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Love You Like a Tattoo

BTS

Jeon Jungkook/Reader [F]

Genre: Soft Badboy-ish AU, Fluff (Overwhelming Amounts), Drabble-ish

Words: 2.8k

~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: No one really believes in Jungkook’s girlfriend.  Living in a small town far out of the busy city of Seoul and depicted as the spectrum opposite of Jungkook himself.  He’s covered in tattoos, piercings anywhere he could get them and smokes like he doesn’t care if he loses a lung.  So, when he finds out you’ll be staying Seoul for the summer, he is insistent you stay with him.  Now, he eagerly awaits your arrival after such a long time.  

-Or-

Jungkook is fucking ready to see his favorite girl bc he’s mega-whipped. (Also rubbing in his friend’s face that she is- in fact- a real person and not some imaginary gf he made up is on his bucket-list)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Holy shit, really?!” Jungkook who was sitting in the garage with his buddies practically screamed into the phone call he was on.  His friends who sat in a small, not so even, circle around a trash bin with a fire in it silenced as they all flicked their eyes over to him.  The Spring- nearly Summer- air hit the group with a crummy blanket of moisture that the fire burned away.  The garage door open as they sat located on the edge of a suburban area of the city. 

Ashtrays of grey and white and brown cigarettes, a wide selection of brands in which each boy chose to favor. Lighters from bright yellow disposable lighters to metal Zippo’s sat snug in the pockets of each boy.  A can of beer or cola in someone’s hand at all times. 

Jungkook had excused himself from a conversation about the next piercing one of his friends- Taehyung was going to get that shifted from a conversation about trying to talk Hoseok into finally getting a tattoo.  Hoseok was shockingly the cleanest skinned boy with only a few ear-piercings to his name. He almost got a septum piercing but wussed out at the last minute. 

He moved from the corner of the garage to the outside, stepping into the moist, damp air that almost teased a rain shower later into the night.  He leaned against the outside wall, phone held to his ear with his tattoo-covered arm. Pushing anxiously at the stub pierced through his tongue with the roof of his mouth. 

“You’re serious, right?  You’re not trippin’ on me because I will literally fight you if you’re pulling some prank, girlfriend or not.” 

“Did you cry when we Skyped like a week ago because I stubbed my toe on my dresser?” 

“You kicked it so hard your toenail started bleeding!” He defended as you laughed on the other line. You, his girlfriend of 3 years laughing at him. Jungkook just huffed, a smile on his lips as he shook his head. “Okay, fine.  I won’t fight you, but I’ll throw stuff at you.  What’s soft to throw?  Flowers maybe?” 

“What a charmer,” you told him. 

“I try really hard just for you,” he snickered.  Jungkook stayed silent as you told him about your plans to travel from your small little town on the coast to Seoul for the summer.  You told your folks that since you wanted to go to the University of Seoul once you finally racked up enough money, that you wanted to test the waters of city life.  

Of course, there was still a lot you had to prepare for.  Temporary living arrangements, means of travel (you’d probably walk to take a bus everywhere), estimates of how much money you’d need to actually survive a summer in Seoul, etcetera.  You had thought about calling the cheapest hotel you could find and trying to negotiate a reasonable rate for such a long stay. 

“Just stay with me, babe,” Jungkook sighed into the phone.  “It’s just me in that apartment, I don’t mind sharing.” 

“I totally forgot you moved out of your mom’s place!” You exclaimed as he just let out a fit of small giggles.  “If you really don’t mind, could I bunk with you?  I’ll pull my weight, I promise!” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.  “Wow, do I want my girlfriend living with me?  Hmm, that’s a toughie,” he reached into his pocket, grabbing his nearly empty pack of cigarettes with his lighter inside.  Pulling one, white toxic stick and placing it between his lips, he pushed his phone to his cheek with his shoulder as he cupped around the bud and flicked his lighter.  Waiting to make sure the wind wouldn’t snuff out the flame and it would actually light.  

Taking a drawl from it, he pushed his air out.  Watching as a puff of grey smoke wafted into the dusk air.  Sun nearly out of sight behind the identical houses as the sky threatened a navy hue with clouds scattered around like cotton balls. Breathing through his nose he sighed.  It was definitely going to rain tonight.  

You laughed sarcastically through the phone as he faintly heard your mom calling you down to eat something.  He scowled a bit, knowing how late it was at the moment and you hadn’t eaten yet.  

“Coming!” You shouted to your mom as you started talking to Jungkook again.  “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Tell me when you’re coming into town, okay?  You can stay with me and we can work everything out after that.” 

“Okay, I will.” Jungkook could hear the smile in your voice and he wished you had Facetimed him instead of a phone call so he could see it. 

“I miss you,” he told you before you were ready to cut the call.  Him hearing you roll out of bed, abandoning your books he was sure was sprawled on your bedspread. 

“I miss you too.  I’ll see you soon though,” you reassured. 

“You better.” 

It was a few minutes later when Jungkook was walking back into the garage, taking one last drawl of his smoke as he flopped himself down into his cheap, folding-camping chair.  Snuffing out his cigarette in a glass ashtray that almost needed to be emptied, he took a can of iced soda from a small cooler at his side and chugged a good half of it. A hefty blech following. 

“Is Loverboy done talking to his girlfriend?” Hoseok teased in a mocking tone.  Jungkook rolled his eyes.  His friends were solely convinced Jungkook was fibbing about his relationship and you altogether.  Not having seen you before and being so different from him; they all called bullshit. 

Jungkook flipped a solid middle finger at his friend as he erupted in stomach laughed, kicking his knees up as he stomped.  Jungkook craned his neck back, letting it hang as he starred at the white garage ceiling. 

“Girlfriend phone call or not,” Namjoon started as he finished his second can of beer for the evening, “what was the fuss about?  You yelled then went outside?  Hiding something maybe?” His smirk on his face was so obviously screaming ‘did you go outside to talk about your fake relationship away from us?’ and it made Jungkook was to throw his stupid beer car at his head.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he hissed.  He kicked his boot covered feet up, stretching them out as his heels bounced on the concrete floor.  “Y/n was talking to me about what she’s going to do when she comes down this summer,” he casually announced with a relaxed wave of his hand.  

There were approximately 4 seconds of silence before his friends were shouting or bounding from their camping chairs or crates they sat on and rushing to his side.  Grabbing him or his chair, nearly knocking him out of it.  He braced himself, tucking his boots back under his chair to stable it as he straightened his back. 

Voices of his friends bombarding him with questions of when you’re coming, for how long, why and if they’d get to meet him.  It was only an hour later that Jungkook literally had to run to the nearest bus station to get away from his friend’s just to go home. So much for having a drunk night in the garage. 

2 weeks later and Jungkook was dressed in a too expensive Adaias white shirt, black lining the edges and black strips running down his shoulders in a trio. The shirt leaving his arms open for everyone to see his tattoo littered arms and watch strapped around his left wrist. Tucked into his black jeans that run down the thick of his thigh to the slim of his calf.  His boots hitting his shin as the short strings remained untied to accommodate for his jogging. His hair was curled and wavy  from the humidity as his bangs hit his eyes. 

He jogged his way to the train station, descending the stairs from the streets to the underground railways.  Hoping down from step to step, careful to mind his footwork before he was waving between people.  It was still early in the morning, only 8 and the crowd wasn’t completely awful yet. 

Stopping and leaning against the back wall in front of your station and out of every other person’s way, he gathered his breath.  His heartbeat in his chest, but not entirely from his run here.  He wanted time to speed up so he could see and feel you that much soon.  He pulled his phone from his (unfairly deep) jean pocket and shot you a text. 

Jungkook: I’m here. Look for a handsome tattooed stranger when you step off. 

You: I was taught never to talk to strangers. 

Jungkook chuckled at your response, shaking his head as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.  His smile he wore not wiping away once as he grew giddier with each ticking second the giant clock above his head let pass. 

30 minutes later and he was watching your train screech to a halt.  Listening to the hydraulic-powered doors hissing open before he was scanning through the push and pull crowd of people.  

“Jungkook!” He heard you before he saw you. Though he quickly locked onto your frame, dragging a suitcase behind you, another slung around your back and wearing an impossibly brightly colored rainbow-striped shirt that tucked only into the front of your black shorts.  

He laughed as he went towards you before he was barreling into your front, knocking you back a few steps as he lifted you to your toes.  Arms under you and around your waist, he shook you around like a doll as he pushed his face into your hair.  A few older adults stopped to awe before moving on and a few even sent eye-rolls from such public affection.  

He put you back down as he kept his hands on your waist, thumbing over your shirt and smiling down at you to the point his cheeks ached.  “God, I missed you,” he murmured as he pushed his lips to your forehead.  You giggled as you started convincing him to move and actually leave the station. He agreed, but only after he grabbed your rolling suitcase in one hand and snatched your hand in his other. 

Jungkook leads you to his apartment as you both step inside. Dragging your suitcase into and up out of the entrance landing, Jungkook wheels it away as he kicks off his loose, untied boots.  You untied your own hightops- a gift from Jungkook on your birthday- as you were soon up and following after him as he took off with your suitcase hostage. 

He entered his room, flicking on the light.  You looked around. “It’s so weird not seeing it through your computer webcam.” Jungkook chuckled as he collapsed the handle to your suitcase and lifted it onto his bed before unzipping it.  You dropped your backpack as well. You stopped him before he could start digging through your stuff to help you unpack. 

“What,” he laughed.  “Afraid I might see your Hello Kitty panties?” You opened your mouth in a fake offense as you were quick you bring your ankle up, yank off your sock and throw it at him. “Hey! It’s too early for nasty sock wars!” He soon was sitting out in the hallway, waiting for your all clear to come in and actually help unpack.  He laughed as he heard you murmuring inside about how your Hello Kitty panties happened to be very cute. 

Jungkook had previously cleared out two of his dresser drawers for your unmentionables and PJs for your visit.  Also separating his closest down the middle.  Left side for him and right for you, a hanging cubby for shoes in the center for the divider. When you called for him, he went and helped you unpack your clothes, some in which he commented that he hadn’t seen before.  

You embarrassingly admitting to shopping for new clothes just before coming here to show off.  You wanted to look nice since you’d be with him for so long.  He just cooed as he kissed the top of your head.  

Makeup, shampoo, conditions, skin and hair treatments, slippers, medicine, toothbrush, hairbrush- all sorts of your things soon filled his apartment along with his.  Seeing it all, it felt so much more like home.  

It was 10 when everything was said and done and Jungkook was sat on the couch in the living room. The morning sun bright as it came through the balcony window.  You were in the kitchen, or leaving it now, with a water bottle.  The cold bottle chilling your hand as Jungkook called you. 

“Y/n,” he whined as he sat slouched.  You trotted over to him as he reached for you like a child.  “Come here,” he told you.  

“Wait a minute,” you told him with a smile as he just shook his head. He sat up quickly, grabbing around your waist and leaning back, taking you back and down with him.  Falling beside him on the couch as he pulling your legs over his lap.  Interlocking his fingers around your stomach, he leaned on your shoulder, the crown of his wavy brown hair pushing into your cheek. 

“I’ve waited long enough,” he lowly whispered.  Keeping his head tucked into your neck, he closed his eyes.  Finally able to sit and bask in the scent, warmth, and presence that is you, he was blissful.  He had missed you so much and he hated the fact that you lived so far off.  If Jungkook didn’t have such a good job here, he probably would've moved to you.  Though, you told him numerous times to stay here- stay where he knows best.  

He relaxed so completely as you traced along the tattoos crawling up his neck and disappearing down his back under his shirt. You giggled as he nuzzled into your further, moving to wrap his arms around your tighter and bring you closer.  

“You’re warm,” he murmured.  

“You are too,” you told him back, brushing your fingers into his hair and rubbing his neck.  You both sat like this for hours.  Talking about small things, sitting in silence and basking in each other until you had drifted off into a nap as Jungkook sat you against his chest to snooze.  

Occupying himself with his phone (and sneaking a few pictures of you too), he was soon being paged by Jimin at the tattoo parlor he worked at.  Sending a reminder that even if you were coming into town, he still had to work.  He had 3 tattoo appointments lined up for the afternoon, not mention what walk-in jobs they may have. 

He told him he’d be in, but that there was a 100% chance he was going to bring you along with him.  Jimin didn’t argue, waiting eagerly to meet the Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend.  The squeaky clean sweetheart. 

He woke you up 10 past noon as you groaned and shook your head, trying to will away the bully who is trying to wake you up.  He just chuckled as he blew in your ear, making your shiver and cover it up before he was pinching your nose. 

He laughed when you opened your eyes and swatted his hand away, scowling at him and not the least bit threatening to look at.  The receiving end of what you called a glare was just utter cuteness in the eyes of your boyfriend. 

“Time to wake up, I have to go to the parlor today and you’re-” he poked your cheek- “coming with me.” 

“Okay?  Why am I coming to work with you?” 

Jungkook hummed as he pats your thigh as you moved to get off him, stretching.  ��Well, two reasons.  One, I missed you.” He extended one finger before extending a second. “Two, my friend works there and he and the rest of my friends all believe you don’t exist.” 

“Excuse me?” You bit back a smile, cheeks between your molars.

“They think I made up some fake girlfriend story because I was single for so long.”  You busted out in laughter, holding your stomach as he just rolled his eyes and got up off the couch.  

“That’s ridiculous!” You cheered as you got up too, trailing after him to the door as you both slipped on your shoes.  Jungkook weaving your fingers together before leaving and keeping them together until he walked into the parlor, the bell signaling his arrival.  

The look in Jimin’s face when he saw that Jungkook really did have a girl hanging off his arm was priceless.  It wasn’t too much later he called all the guys over and you were introduced to them one by one as Jungkook’s girlfriend, Y/n. 

[paycies]

hello  pretty  peeps  !  i’m  already  so  happy  n  excited  2  be  here  tysm  for  the  warm  welcome 🥺🥰my  name’s  dani  ,  i’m  20  &  i  reside  in  torONTO /  the  6ix  /  best  city  in  da  world  ,  which  puts  me  in  the  est  tz  !  i’m  obsessed  w  machine  gun  kelly  n  that’s  really  all  you  need  to  know  about  me  SJFDSFS .  but  i’m  super  excited  2  be  bringing  my  babyg  paycie  ,  she’s  a  wild card  but  also  a  lil  sunflower  &  all  the  more  info  about  her  is  under  the  cut  +  some  wanted  connections  !  like  this  &  i’ll  slide  in  those  dms  to  plot  bc  i  wanna  plot  w  every  single  one  of  u or  you  can  also  msg  me  on  discord  @𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958  !!  ♡ ♡ ♡

» • * — ( madison beer , cisfemale , she/her ) . i think i hear righteous by juice wrld coming from apartment 2308. doesn’t paycie miller live there ?? i heard they are a twenty one year old student/model from manhattan ,  nyc , but they’ve been living in the apartments for three years . they come across a bit - reticent and - stubborn , but they also seem like they could be + quixotic and + adroit . whenever i see them , i think of hoop  earrings , graphic  tees  &  red roses . oh , and don’t forget to follow them on instagram at @payciem !  

*  𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠  .

full  name  :  paycie  anne  miller .

age  :  twenty  -  one .

astrological  chart  :  libra  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  leo  rising .

hometown  :  manhattan  ,  new  york  .

sexual  orientation  :  pansexual .

character  inspo  :  lexie  grey  (  grey’s  anatomy  )  ,  brooke  davis  (  one  tree  hill  )  ,  moe  (  lemonade  mouth  )  ,  mariana  adams  foster  (  the  fosters  )  .

*  𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦  &  𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡  (  death  tw  ) .

ok here we go

paycie was born an only child to the most loving parents

born and raised here in manhattan

her mom was an aspiring model when she met paycie’s rockstar father

they got married only after knowing eachother for a few months , but they were so deeply in love it didn’t even matter

they had paycie about a year after being married

and they couldn’t have been happier to have a lil girl!!

her mom and her were two peas in a pod growing up , her dad would always find them playing dress up together ,  doing  eachother’s makeup , etc

they acted much more like best friends than like a mom/daughter , but there was never a problem w it

paycie was a very well behaved child , always having a soft demeanour even from the very beginning

so ya growing up was great for her , her dad’s career was at it’s peak , her mom stayed home to take care of paycie , so she always had her mom around , she ended up in private school that she enjoyed , made lots of friends & couldn’t have wished for anything in life

( death & car accident tw ) fast forward , paycie’s now 17 , while her dad’s away on tour  ,  her mom dies suddenly in a car accident . this was by far the worst day of paycie’s life , she never in a million  years  imagined that her mom would be taken from her , and with absolutely no warning

her best friend in the whole world was gone and she had no idea how to move on from that

obviously her dad’s tour was cancelled & the tabloids went crazy with the story

the two of them struggled to get any privacy  , paparazzi always waiting outside their house , etc sstuff like that

it was horrible n they hated it

but paycie quickly fell into a depression, stopped going to school , BARELY made it through her senior year but by some miracle she did end up graduating ( she didn’t attend however )

( anxiety tw ) she had to go on medication for depression & anxiety during this time as well , as she was struggling w panic attacks and such and still does sometimes to this day

her dad’s career diminished because he too was lost without her to work , & he wanted to stay home 24/7 to take care of paycie

it took a long time for the two of them to be able to figure out how to continue living life , but they did it together & as a united front

paycie and her father’s relationship continued to grow much stronger after her mom’s death , obviously both of them needing eachother to lean on

fast forward abt a year or two paycie decides she wants to go to college to study fashion , something her mom always loved & got paycie interested in

she’s taking a few music courses as well 

so now she’s here living in her lil apartment that she adores and trying to live a simple life .

she really hadn’t been interested in being in the spotlight like her dad was , although her instagram following is what allowed her to gain modelling gigs after she turned 18 , being able to book a few big ones , to get money to help pay her tuition and other expenses 

she enjoys it a lot but at the same time lowkey hates the idea of being famous , after how the media had such a big affect on her w her mother’s death

so she’s conflicted and tries to focus on school most of the time

*  𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  &  ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠  . 

paycie is a very kind and gentle soul

she’s quiet and tends to keep her thoughts to herself , when she’s around people she doesn’t know well

don’t get me wrong she can converse very well , but when it comes to meaningful conversations , you’ll only get that out of her if she completely trusts you

ummm she wears her heart on her sleeve tho and dreams of an epic love like her parents had although she gets scared of being hurt the way her dad was

which stops her from forming attachments easily

but at the same time her heart is so huge she can quickly form a soft spot for people once she gets to know them

if you’re her friend she will literally go to the ends of the earth for u , she will do anything for the people she cares about

she’s always experimenting w different outfits !

but she also loves hanging out in a hoodie and sweatpants w her hair in a messy ass bun , it’s her fave

on the weekend you’ll likely find her watching friends for the 100000 time in her apartment w a box of donuts 

she does love to have fun and go out and get drunk w her girls and dance all night yk , 21 year old stuff <3

i’m still developing her always but yAH .

* 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠  .

i want all da connections pls so like if u have anything ur dying for lmk & paycie can fill it  !  i also have my own wanted connections  HERE  , so  pls  come  plot  w  me  hehe  ♡

& ty for reading this whole ass mess , ily  !

[27emailsicantsend]

Ok so I read ur muffy second kiss fic thing and I got an idea but I suck at writing so I thought I’d ask you to write it lol but like the idea is that Marty is always trying to be the brave one bc that’s his way of showing Buffy that it’s ok to be emotional but one day Marty has a bad day and it’s Buffy’s turn to be the comforter (this idea might suck oop)

Marty’s Loss: A Muffy One Shot

“Yeah, ok, thanks for letting me know,” Marty said as he hung up the phone. He turned around to see all of his friends laughing and having a good time. They had decided to go bowling again, but it was starting to feel the bowling alley was jinxed. He watched as the rest of the world faded around him and his friends seemed to be in slow motion.

Andi was making jokes, smiling wide as she watched Cyrus roll the ball granny-style down the lane. TJ playfully smacked Andi’s arm with the back of his hand telling her to “cut it out”. Jonah was sitting opposite them, talking to Amber. They were having a light-hearted conversation. And then there was Buffy. She was so relaxed. Her black curls bouncing as she held herself laughing with Andi, TJ, Cyrus.

Buffy was so real and raw. Marty couldn’t believe they had already been dating almost a month. Ever since she admitted she liked him, she became more available emotionally. She was never really bad at this, however. She was honest when she rejected Marty (Marty shuddered as he pushed this thought away), bold when it came to standing up for her friends, straightforward with liking Marty, and he’d even seen her get teary eyed when she was afraid he rejected her.

All he did was joke with her or get serious, but never really spoke about what upset him. Even when he was rejected (shudder), he just pushed her away and moved on quickly to Rachel. Which he now acknowledged was an extremely bad idea.

Rachel was here last time and made the bowling alley an extremely uncomfortable place for him to visit due to the bad memories. He agreed to come though, in hopes that his bad memories would be replaced with new ones. They were new memories, just not new good ones, after this phone call.

He continued to watch from a distance when suddenly he saw Buffy smile at him and wave him over. He smiled and walked up to her. She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked, “hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Whose turn is it?” Marty said quickly, faking a smile, hoping to brush past having to talk.

The kids understood he wanted a change in subject and Cyrus said, “yours!”

Marty looked up at the score board. He and Buffy were about tied (since it was obviously a competition), TJ was in second, and Amber was doing surprisingly really well. It’s not that he didn’t think Amber would be good at bowling... well, actually it was. She seemed a little preppy for his taste and Rachel was too. Rachel wasn’t good at bowling because “germs” and not the right color of bowling ball, so Marty was surprised Amber was taking to it so naturally and easily. He liked this side of her, she showed progress, unlike his ex.

Marty bowled a strike with no hesitation. He walked off the platform as Buffy walked on for her turn, saying competitively, “Weak. I’ll do better”.

Marty tried to be flirty, but he knew that his comeback had a layer of sadness in his voice. “Nice try, Driscoll”.

The gang continued to bowl a couple more turns for each person. Even in one game of bowling, with this many people playing it took forever. They should have split the amount of people into two teams to make it quicker, but they all wanted to be on the same game, so it took a lot longer. Because of the time, Marty started to get pretty hungry. He walked up to the food counter and ordered some taco tots, Buffy’s favorite.

While he waited for the food, he heard a voice next to him, “one order of taco tots, please”.

Buffy.

“Hey, Driscoll, couldn’t stand to see my score so you had to walk away?”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing?” Buffy said with a polite grin.

They stood in silence for a second and Buffy turned to look at him again. “Marty, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been really quiet since that phone call. I can tell something is up”.

“Buffy, I promise, I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this time with your friends, ok?”

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating. She nodded and said, “ok” quietly.

Both orders of taco tots were set on the counter and they both walked back together in an awkward silence.

Marty continued to watch and smile, trying not to seem too obvious he was sad. He noticed Buffy look over at him a few times and even thought he heard Andi and Cyrus discussing him and Buffy having relationship problems at one point. They hadn’t had any relationship problems so far and Marty didn’t consider this one at all. He was just sad and needed space and he wished his friends respected that a little more.

The game was finally starting to come to a close and so he thought everyone was going to be done. They all wanted to play another game, however.

Marty pretended to check his phone and said his mom needed him home, but that they should all stay. He walked outside and around the corner of the building where no one could see him. He slid to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest, holding them with his arm, and then buried his head into his knees. He began to cry. A lot.

He sobbed and sobbed. It was a quiet alley way, thankfully. The bowling alley was far from a lot of people and he was hidden behind a dumpster.

He couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t really have thoughts except for how sad he was and wondering how this could happen to him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He panicked, thinking it might be an employee and that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wiped the tears off of his face quickly with his sleeve and stood up. The moment he stood up he came face to face with Buffy.

She looked at him tenderly and then wrapped her arms behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to cry again. He sobbed into her shoulder. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all by this, surprisingly.

He was scared to be emotional in front of her because she already carried so much of that weight on her own. She dealt with so much. School, friends, Andi leaving, coaching... he just wanted to root her on and be a good boyfriend. He was afraid if he was too dramatic it might chase her away. That she couldn’t handle him being sad, because she already had too many emotions of her own and with her friends she had to deal with.

But this felt different. He felt a unique comfort in her embrace. One that said she wasn’t going anywhere- figuratively and literally. She continued to hold him until his crying slowed. When it started to slow down, he pulled away, their arms still locked in their same positions however.

Buffy gave him a small smile that seemed to say, “I’m here. I understand. You don’t have to talk, but if you want to. I’m here”.

Marty smiled at her and said, “thanks”.

She gave a polite chuckle and said, “anytime”.

Marty loved that about Buffy. She knew what to do and what to say. She knew her limits with him. He felt comfortable opening up to her. He had to at some point. He sat back down against the wall, extending his legs. He looked up at Buffy and patted the ground next to him, furthest from the dumpster.

Buffy slid down next to him, this time her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She laid her head down on her knees, looking at him with sincerity.

Marty let out a small breath through his nose and looked ahead of him as he spoke. He knew that if he looked at Buffy, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in tact.

“My mom called. My grandma has been in the hospital the last two weeks. She finally passed”.

Buffy could have said something during the silence, but didn’t. Instead, she just kept listening.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her, Buff. I mean, I knew it was getting close, but I spent almost every weekend growing up at her house. Since my dad isn’t around anymore, she helped my mom to raise my sister and me”. Marty giggled. “She used to have a cookie jar. It had the same cookies in it my whole life, but my sister and I would fight over them every time we got there. We would race into the house. I remember grammy saying, ‘if you wanted the cookies so bad, you should have gone to the store and gotten them yourself, instead of running like heathens through the house’. Sometimes it had more colorful language than that, but you get the gist”.

Marty’s face dropped again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buff. I am going to miss her so much. My grandpa is gone too, so now we have to clean the house, go through their belongings, my mom is going to have to do the work... on her.. own..” His voice began to trail as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why did this have to happen?” He asked, rhetorically.

Buffy finally answered. She didn’t have to, but it helped. “I don’t know, Marty. I don’t know why these things happen,” she said as she scooted close to Marty, wrapping an arm around him. “But, what I do know, is that I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You don’t have to fight your battles alone. In fact, remember when we first started talking again?”

Marty began to chuckle, “yeah and I wouldn’t stop blowing up your phone? I had it so bad”. His face began to turn red.

Buffy laughed with him, “yes, you were pretty smitten, but I don’t blame you because I’m pretty awesome”. Marty rolled his eyes, grinning. “Anyway, that day I kept telling you I was busy because I was at Cyrus’ grandma’s Shivah. It’s a long celebration or ceremony they do in memory of someone who has died. It was a beautiful event and I think it really helped people to mourn the loss. What I learned the most from it, though, was that it was ok to talk about your feelings and to remember those people for who they were. It’s ok to be sad, but also don’t be afraid to remember her either. She would have wanted that from you, I know it. I also know she loves you very, very much and is so proud of who you are today. I couldn’t be more proud”.

Buffy learned over and kissed him on the cheek. Marty smiled at her, as a way to thank her.

“I appreciate you telling me that, really. I needed to hear it. I don’t think too many people will see this emotion out of me, though. That’s not really who I am and it’s why I kept so quiet today- sorry about that, by the way. Thanks for listening to me, Buffy”.

“You’re welcome. I can see how hard this must be for you and I appreciate you being vulnerable. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this between us until you’re ready. You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone”.

Marty knew that was true, and he knew she wasn’t going to run in and tell everyone what she just talked to him about. She was the only person who seemed to understand what it was like not to want to cry in front of everyone, because she didn’t do it often either. She was the only person who gets that.

[swinterr]

VALERIE III

People in Twitter are twitting about a video of Val’s reaction when she saw Shawn and Camila, she received mixed comments about her reaction.

Her parents are really protective about her, even her siblings mostly Vernon. Her Dad and Mom doesn’t understand what’s happening between them, they all thought that Shawn is gonna be Valerie’s forever.

Of course Shawn saw the video. He’s not stupid, he knows that he’s hurting Val.

He also saw the message Valerie send him but he didn’t read the it because he knows he cannot stop himself on answering back.

He loves Valerie so much, but he has to do this.

When he first play the video the first came to his mind is that Valerie looks so pretty, very pretty. Valerie isn’t really like those blonde, long legged, orange tan (well she is tan but not oramge tan). She looks like a goddess. She’s perfect.

Then he saw Vernon from the background, Shawn gets along well with Valerie’s family well but Vernon is the hardest one to get along. He is scared genuinely of Vernon.

The time when Brian told him that Valerie broke up with him, he excused himself on sound check saying he wasn’t feeling well. He went back to his hotel and cried holding Valerie sweater in his chest.

He cried for the half of the day. He only went out when it’s Q&A.

He really wants to fix this but he can’t, it’s too fucked up to be fixed. He feels so powerless.

-

Valerie feels awful when she got back home.

She didn’t ate dinner instead she spend her whole evening, well half of it, on the gym boxing with Vernon is a good exercise but she did her exercises alone, she did it without a trainer while Vernon does cardio. Actually she didn’t even do her exercises, she just keeps punching the punching bag until her knuckles bleed, until they severely bleed. Her mom has to take her to the nearest clinic to aid her bloody knuckles.

“Val, you’re knuckles are going to bleed if you keep doing this. Stop it you’re hurting yourself.” Vernon tried reasoning with Valerie, growing more and more concerned about her and her new obsession with puching the punching bag carelessly.

“No, it’s either I ruined this punching bag or I do more stupider sh!t than this.” Valerie’s voice is quiet and cold, She always had a my-voice-is-so-soft-and-I-will-not-raise-my-voice-on-anyone-bc-that’s-rude-attitude.

“Can you at least where gloves, hand wrap is not enough you know.” Vernon reminder her.

Valerie didn’t listen and brought her fists close to her face, finding her aim and released all of her pent up anger, frustrations and pain out through quick, sharp punches, showing no mercy on the already worn punching bag wanting to release all the pain she felt in the past few weeks. Sweat glistened every inch of her body, especially in her face.

Vernon can’t even distinguish if that even is sweat or tears, her curly hair sticking to her back, arms and all angles of her face.

Val could her Vernon stopping her in the background but she didn’t listen.

Soon the punching bag falls from where it’s hanging. And Valerie knuckles are bleeding.

“Dammit Valerie! You’re bleeding! Mom!” Vernon shouts.

Ever since Val and Shawn broke up Vernon is more over-protective of Val.

She really wants to go back to Toronto, but Toronto has too much memories for her to handle. She wishes that Bella and Gigi are here with her. She’s lucky enough to have a thought, loving and caring Anwar Hadid by her side.

Gigi, Bella and Anwar (even though they live near), Aaliyah, Ana, Lauren and Dylan (her friends back home), Kiera and Darius (her dorm mates) are texting her everyday saying that everything gonna be alright and Shawn’s a dick.

She can’t wait to go back to Massachusetts and receive pity looks. Insert sarcasm.

She just needs to wait few more days until they are schedule free.

Valerie hadn’t spoken to anyone since they came back from downtown Los Angles (besided her mom and Vernon who approach her). She is currently laying in her king sized bed.

Staring at the clock, watching it tick by. 11 o’clock in the night, she should be asleep by now but her mind is somewhere far away. Far away from all this drama and chaos that is currently happening in her life.

Sobbing her heart out. Puffy eyes and runny nose are they best description of Valerie right now. Maybe a fever in the morning too.

She never wanted to end their relationship like this. To be honest they can survive this relationship, Valerie is just tired of being treated like this.

Don’t get me wrong, Shawn’s a great boyfriend but he focuses on his career more than their relationship.

People though they are perfect for each other. She thought that Shawn will be THE ONE. Her grandparents from her mother and father’s side already met and approve of Shawn even the ones who live in Florence.

She genuinely believe that they are ment to be together but jealousy got her. Her insecurities got her.

Her heart still aches profoundly with pain. She miss her so much but it’s so unfair that he moved in that quickly.

Valerie, Shawn and Camila are trending right now. Everything seems so chaotic. Her sobs still fills her big room.

Instagram stans are making up the craziest sh!ts right, some makes her laugh and some are true that makes her cry hard.

@queenval

@queenval to be honest val is the greatest thing that ever happend to shawn. i love shawn sm but he stupid!!

50,234 likes

Shawn is the greatest thing that ever happend to her.

Shawn’s fans been calling him out because of his stupid moves. Many of her fans are still supporting Valerie even if they are not together anymore.

Valerie shakily reaches for her phone she usually listens to His music when she’s sad, but at this state listening to His music will make her more sad than ever.

Malibu Nights by LANY played. Is it ironic that she is listening to Malibu Nights heartbroken and she really wants to go to Malibu. Its just a 40 minute car ride. She can survive right?

She brought a beach house recently somewhere in Pacific Coast Highway. She brought it the exact day Shawn left Canada to continue his tour, Valerie brought the house because when she will visit Shawn on his tour this will be their hiding place.

People say that Valerie have it all; Brains, Beauty, Wealth but everything means nothing if you aren’t happy right?

Decided to spent the rest of her days in Malibu. Valerie picked this big ass box that has been sent to her by a company. She didn’t even bother to read what company it is all she knows that is a clothing company. Few shoes, hoodies and her underwears on her bag.

She dressed herself into a pair of jeans and a shirt, hoodie on her arm incase she’ll needs it.

Everyone is asleep so this should be the perfect time to sneak out, she closed her room door quietly as she held the big box on her hands, struggling to balance it and keys and a Gucci bagpack filled with he laptop, personal needs, medicines and this tiny vape pen she got from Anwar.

Valerie isn’t the type of girl who does wild stuffs, stuff like normal teenagers do. Maybe that’s the reason why they broke up, she’s too boring for him.

Well now that they are over, Valerie wants to do the things she didn’t do when they were together. Things teenagers would do.

Now she be vaping, she wants to have tattooes too. Val got a rose tattoo behind her ear on her 19th birthday. She wants to add more.

Valerie successfully got down from the 3rd floor, her room, to the ground floor.

She wants to do things that she hasn’t done yet. She opened her parents wine cellar and pulled out a bottle of Pinot Noir with a three bottles of beer and a big bottle of her father’s whiskey.

She didn’t really want to steal this alcoholic beverage but she know that many shops out there knows her and has a high possibility that they will post pictures about her underage and buying drinks.

She puts the bottles on her bag, wanting to go to Malibu quickly, she runs towards their garage, mentally kicking herself for having a loud foot steps.

For Valerie if is she’s sad or disappointed she chooses to be alone. Being with herself alone is always the best part of her day or best time of her day.

Valerie picked the black Mercedes-Benz G wagon.

She puts her things in the passengers seat and zoomed off to Malibu.

She felt tears start to form as the now familiar burn caused her to shut

her eyes for a moment and stop at the side of the expressway she like crying. For her crying is good for her mental health because crying can help reduce pain. Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes feelings of love and Endorphins help relieve pain. These two make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain.

But sometimes crying too much can also be bad for her, too much crying can lead to depression and she doesn’t want that. All she wants is to move on and live a happy life.

But moving on takes a lot of time.

The whole drive was quiet except for the radio and her quiet sobs.

She stopped on Target along the way to pick up some food for the next few days.

Valerie pulls up on the parking lot. The Californian cold wind creeps on her arm, regretting not wearing a hood and leaving it at the car.

Valerie pulls out the vape pen as she walks along the entrance of Target, she holds it to her mouth, tasting the vanilla flavored vape before releasing it. She lets out a deep sigh with some vapor leaving along her mouth and nose she continues this few times and stopping as she enters the shop.

She just pick up fruits for breakfast, pasta, vegetables and chicken for dinner, chocolate flavored milk, a gallon of water and eggs. She likes cooking, she doesn’t buy a lot of processed foods and microwaveble foods. She payed the cashier keeps giving her looks, is it because the cashier knows her or because she is the front page of one of the magazines on the counter.

“Is this you?” the cashier ask as she types something on the computer.

“Nope.” Valerie answers back as puts the goods she brought on a biodegradable bag and puts it back to the cart.

She walk back to her car and few teenagers curiously stares at her. She struggles to put the groceries on the car because it has a big tires and obviously a tall car competed to her 5’6 self.

She finally sees her house on the view.

Her gates open, headlights giving her the view of her house as well as the Pacific Ocean. The entryway features a reclaimed European fountain and big door that open to opulent interiors.

Her house looks so homey yet loney. She is used to go on a vacation with her family or family or with Shawn.

She inserts the keys while struggling to lift her heavy backpack filled with alcoholic drinks the big box and groceries she brought are stacked upon each other.

She enters her new house, she walks on the hardwood floors pushing the box with the groceries on top, she stares at vaulted ceiling and sees a Indian stone fireplace and custom designed sitting area.

For her, a house with a fireplace and a big couch is a must.

The balcony is a sliding door that has a view of the Malibu Coast.

Valerie finally fixed her clothes on her closet, turns out the box is from Gucci. Now she has a Gucci filled closet. Yey!

Her refrigerator is filled with groceries. Yey!

It’s already 12:34 am and she is still wide awake. She sits on her couch as she finds for her cell.

She looked everywhere, her hoodie, her bag, her car, on the closet even the refrigerator.

She left it on Bel Air. Yey!

She doesn’t have anything to do she she just drinks the alcohol she brought lol! Her TV still doesn’t have any channels and her house doesn’t have a wifi.

Valerie drinks the vodka shot in one gulp, ignoring the burning sensation in her throat caused by the strong liquor.

“I love you so much why did you do this to me!” she gulped the vodka down.

“I wish I didn’t love you! But I did I’m so stupid!” she gulped the other one.

“I don’t wanna date anyone anymore!” and another one.

Despite this, Valerie’s body feels more relaxed and her mind feels lighter and more problem free. It took her couple vodka shots for achieve this but it was worth it.

The bottle is nearly empty so she just decided to drink the bottle.

It’s a quarter past midnight. The buzz has worn off, now she is just dead ass drunk.

She miraculously arrived at her room, passing the stairs and remembering her room is a miracle.

As much as she wanted to sleep she washes her face and brushed her teeth and changes in a bougee Gucci pajama and sleep on her big bed with the view of the sea like a baby.

Alcohol can really make you forget everything temporarily even pain.

taglist:

@night-girls-world

@alinashawn

@feliciaceciliamariajacobsson

-

I FINALLY POSTED THIS. PLEASE LOVE ITT HEHEEH

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Sunflower Dreams | pt I

Aaron Davis (Spiderverse) x Reader

word count: 1757 (or about that, I made some tweaks after I copy pasted it here so uh.... rough guestimate?)

summary: when young and educated y/n’s given the opportunity of a lifetime, she plans accordingly. her life is finally starting to be perfect, until suddenly, it’s not anymore. her friendly neighborhood bachelor, Aaron Davis, helps her pick up the pieces, as she unknowingly makes him see that there’s more to life than being a villain.

a/n: I decided to write this story bc Aaron Davis gets no love, which is crazy to me, and because I had a little idea cooking up in my head that I thought would be a good story. I took a lot of inspiration for the protagonist from my own life, but you’re only gonna hear slivers of it for now. I have no idea how many chapters this is gonna be, but like. I hope someone enjoys this, bc I know I will enjoy writing it. also. I wrote this story from my perspective, so when I imagine the reader, I envision her as kinda ambiguous in the ethnic department (I’m mixed but white-presenting), but she can be whatever ya’ll want her to be. lightskin, darkskin, anything. okay. Imma let ya’ll read now haha jk I also gotta say, HELL YEA I USED TREVANTE RHODES AS MY PERSONAL FANCAST FOR AARON DAVIS, THAT MAN IS FWOINE AIN’T NOBODY FINNA TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT FUCK OUTTA HERE

    I didn’t make a big deal about moving to New York to pursue my Masters. Already had my Bachelors in Business Administration with a minor in Fine Arts, just got my Bachelors in Education, and now I was ready to chase after my Masters. It only made sense to take the opportunity. How often are you gonna be offered a full ride in exchange for opening your own business in Brooklyn upon graduation, with the funding necessary to do so? Once it took off, I’d return to Tacoma and pay the city my gratitude for making me who I was.

     As I was saying, it was a quiet departure. Thank God I’m a minimalist, otherwise I would’ve had a LOT more items to bring with me. My boyfriend and I packed all my belongings and made the trek across the US after saying goodbye to my family and friends. He was driving. We held hands all the way there. Sometimes speaking, sometimes not.

     When we got to my new home, I already had a parcel of mail waiting for me from my university. After we took up the first load, we sat down on my empty floor and opened it. It welcomed me home and had a map, coffee shops and fun places circled for me to go visit. It was sweet.

     By noon we had everything in my unit thanks to a friendly neighbor named Aaron Davis and his nephew, a funny kiddo named Miles who reminded me of why I came to New York in the first place, and by the evening we had everything unpacked. We walked to a Starbucks and had coffee and sandwiches, now sitting on my bed with our stomachs full. The window was open, the faint beeps and honks of traffic coming from far below.

     We curled up into each other. “I fucking hate this,” I said. “It’s not fair.”

     “I know. I do too. And you know I would stay here with you if I could, but I’m still having no luck finding a job here.”

     “Fuck finding a job, I’ll be the breadwinner of the family,” I laughed, even though I was serious. He knew I was.

     “I can’t burden you like that financially. I promise, as soon as I land an interview, you’re gonna be the first to know. And as soon as I get hired, I’m showing up on your doorstep.” He kissed my forehead. “I don’t say it near enough, but I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”

     “I love you too. And thank you. It’s like, my entire life is falling perfectly into place, all but- well- except for you.”

     “We’ll get there, I promise. For now, just finesse every man or woman here who will buy you dinner, and try to have fun.” He rubbed my back, continuing, “You’ve never dated anyone but me, so... take it as your opportunity to learn about what you like, and once we’re together again, we can find a way to fit any new and quirky tastes you find you have into the relationship. But-“ His hand moved down quick and slapped my ass, squeezing it and illiciting an ‘ow’ of protest from me- “This is still mine, so no fucking, or else I’ll be doing more beating than just beating that pussy up.”

     I laughed and said, “You fuckin’ freak.”

     “Yea, but you like that shit.” He said confidently.

     “Shut the fuck up, why you gotta be so loud about what we do when the window’s open?” I gave him a light punch, then whispered in his ear, “But aye, like, I won’t deny it.”

     “Good, because that would’ve been real awkward after I’ve been in them guts for four years straight.” Then he lowered his voice. “Speaking of which, I’m trynna be in them once more tonight and tomorrow morning.”

     “I dOn’T hAvE aS HiGh Of A sEx dRiVe As YoU!” I mocked him in my best Spongebob voice. “Always lyin for why?”

     He pulled me on top of him and kissed me, his way of telling me to shut up nicely. “Shhhh, I’m just trynna make the most of the time we have left before I have to go back to Tacoma.”

     “But you don’t have to go,” I said, “You can stay here-“

     He cut me off with a series of kisses, “I already-“ “-bought-“ “-the tickets-“ “-so I actually do kinda have to.” He wrapped his arms around me, petting my hair. He always said I had the softest curls he’d ever touched.

     “I just wish you could stay,” I whispered. “We’ve already made it through so much, each of us on our own and then together, I just-“ I cut myself off. The tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. “-I just-“

     “Baby, say it. If your overthinker brain is gonna torture you with this, I wanna hear it so I can put those thoughts to rest.”

     “I just keep thinking that something’s gonna happen to you and I’m gonna lose you. The very idea of that terrifies me, and makes me want to weep-“ I go cross eyed as I watch a tear fall from my eye and trail down my nose- “-because I don’t know how to live without you. And I mean that in a couple ways.”

     “Well... I’m not leaving you forever. I’m coming back here as soon as possible, I’m gonna talk to you on Discord every chance I get, I’m gonna call you every day,  and I’m gonna go to sleep every night dreaming that I’m here with you. For all we know, I could be coming back here in less than a month.” He tilted my chin up to look in my eyes. “Even if I’m not physically present, I’m always gonna be here. You’re never alone.”

     “I love you.”

     “I love you too.”

     In the morning, we slept in late and cuddled until he absolutely had to get up. We both hopped in the shower and he put on his airport clothes while I pulled on a pale, lemon yellow sweatsuit with a white gold chain to match. Gotta let these hoes know, I outdress them even on my bummy days.

     The ride to the airport was a back and forth between us kissing at red lights and screaming out different lyrics from XXXTentacion, Post Malone, JUICE WRLD and whoever the hell else we felt like listening to as we drove, much like we did since the beginning of our relationship.

     When we got there, we took our time saying goodbye since he didn’t have to stress too much about baggage check. We said we loved each other, once I couldn’t see him anymore I called him and we talked while I drove back to my new home and he waited for his flight, and then he was called to board so we got off the phone, but not before he promised me that he would call me as soon as he landed.

     When I got home, I stopped by the mailbox to see if I had anymore mail and simultaneously checked my Instagram, seeing a flurry of notifications. Suddenly, his mom called me.

     “Hi mom, what’s up? Are you okay?” I said as I scrolled through my Instagram, trying to make sense of all the digital confusion.

     She sniffled.

     “Mom, what happened?”

     “Check the news, babygirl... have you not seen it yet?”

     “Uh, no, I haven’t, but I’ll check it out right now,” I said, putting her on speakerphone.

     She started sobbing, saying “I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called you like this, but I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

     And that’s when I saw my worst fears in a news article:

NYC - Sea Bound Plane Crashes, No Survivors

A horrific accident has happened today, and experts are still struggling to find out how - a plane headed to Seattle malfunctioned mid-flight, claiming the lives of everyone on board. Many of the victims have already been identified by their families, not by looks, but by the identification on their bodies at the time of the incident. Below this article are photos of the bodies. If you think you can identify one of them, contact...

     I couldn’t finish reading. I scrolled and saw the bodies, all of them mangled and torn apart, almost unrecognizable as humans. Hearing his mom say ‘he’s dead’ over and over again as I stared at the pictures made me lose my stomach.

     Up came all of my breakfast, and whatever Starbucks I hadn’t yet digested from the night before.

     “Mama, I love you, but I have to call you back later-“ a pause as I threw up again. “I’m physically sick. I’m so sorry,” I sobbed the last sentence, and after hearing a teary goodbye from the other end, hung up. I’d dropped my mail the first time and only now noticed that it was covered in my mess. I didn’t care. I started crying, which was a mistake, because it only made me throw up more, this time nothing but bile.

     “Hey, are you okay?” I whipped around, facing Aaron Davis, the friendly man from the day before.

     “I- I’m sick.” I said, and immediately burst into tears. “Please help me.” Those three words rarely ever left my mouth, but even I know when I can’t do something on my own. He put his keys in his pocket and reached out to me.

     Mere minutes later, I was in my unit, crouched over the toilet, heaving. Aaron had guided me there, holding my hair out of my face as I continued to puke. He called management and told them what happened, and he told me they were already cleaning it up.

     “Listen... I know it’s not my place to say anything, seeing as I’m just your neighbor, but...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he was crouched beside me. “I overheard the phone call. And I overheard the conversation you had with your boyfriend last night. He loved you.”

     “I know he did.” I said, because it was true.

     “I just... look, if you need anything, I’m here. I know you‘re hurting a lot right now, and I know you may want nothing but for everyone to leave you alone, especially the new dude who isn’t minding his business, but if you need anything, I’m here. And Imma check up on you. You’re not alone. You’re never alone.”

     I laughed, but it held no real warmth. “He said that last part to me yesterday night.”

     “He was right. And still is.”

[thisnerdsadventures]

the last two weeks

Just two weeks ago, my friends and I went out to Yamato’s for the first time. 

It was sponsored by our dorm, so we racked up a nearly $1000 bill. We had a great time, but the end of our brunch came, and a few of us took a walk to the common for a Bernie rally, and the others went to the BPL to study. Afterwards, we all wound back on campus, and went about our Saturday doing the usual psetting. The current source of stress was the cup of grapes situation that spiraled wildly out of control, but in hindsight, it seems so inconsequential now. Eleven days ago, my friend and I went to Harvard for the day to decompress from everything. It was a beautiful day - the sun was out, we were wearing our light jackets. We went for ramen for lunch, shopped at a shoe store, and searched hopelessly for hand sanitizer. I had promised to work on my UROP but felt I deserved a day off, as I had been working tirelessly for a while. We walked around, taking it all in, I talked about how I was excited for our dinner on Friday and going to Michigan later in April for a conference. It looked like things might get better. The next day, the rumbling started. Harvard sent an email forbidding international travel. We had heard of the situation intensifying in Italy, but we were still nervously waiting to see what would happen. There were crisis-related rumblings on top of the usual school stress and all the things that had not gone well this semester, and just like that, the next day, MIT took it a step further and cancelled all large major events and banned international travel.

This was the first shock. Just earlier that day, I argued with my friend about her decision to back out of our spring break Spain trip due to coronavirus concerns. But now, five hours later, I sat on the ground in my friend's room as the shock passed over me. Every group chat was nonstop. What about CPW? What about Senior Ball? What about Springfest? Our spring break plans were definitely in the gutter now. Every question sent chills and dread down my spine. I heard someone ask whether commencement would still happen, and I cracked, not being able to face this eventuality that I prayed wouldn't happen. The rest of the day was gone, lost to the questions and stress and emails that ensued from this notification. But there were still personal conflicts. Personal problems, academic stress bubbling up to the surface for weeks, and it was coming to a head. Our dinner just over a week ago nearly didn't happen, but luckily a few of us still went to Harvard for a wonderful time. Our conversations surrounded how Harvard followed our footsteps just a day later on cancelling major events and how changes were so drastic. We contemplated whether the policy would be extended and whether our summer plans would be affected, but decided that that was too far in the future to worry about. So we ran across Harvard in the 30 degree night, snow falling from the sky, enjoying our time, not knowing what was to come. I spent what would be the last weekend preparing for a case. I prepped nonstop and thought I did really well on it in class, just this past Monday. It was a beautiful Monday, we biked to Panda Express with nothing but light jackets and we wished that every day could be like that, feeling like summer had come early in Boston. The situation outside was worsening, and we were watching closely to see what would happen. My friends from LA were trying to convince me to go to San Diego with them for a couple days now that my Spain trip was definitely cancelled. Over Twitter, we found out Princeton closed first, demanding it's undergraduates not come back from break, but i went to bed that Monday early, to prepare for a full day of research to come Tuesday, as my Tuesdays usually go, unblocked to make progress on my research. When I woke up Tuesday, there was something wrong. I knew from the blast of notifications from every group chat on every social media account I owned. My Harvard chat was 100+ messages deep by 9:30am from their closure and eviction of undergraduate students. I sat up immediately in bed and opened the other group chats, trembling. Another group of my friends were already organizing storage and coordinating travel ideas in the case that we would also be following suit after Harvard. 

I dashed to my computer to access all the other texts and call my dad, who was still awake in Taiwan. He told me to calm down and to wait. But just 30 minutes later, a screenshot leaked, confirming our worst fears - we would also be leaving campus in just a week, moving out for the semester. all classes would be online. My stomach dropped. In my attendance-based class, 2/3 of the class was present, and most were on their phone, checking for updates. We all anxiously waited the rumored 1pm email that would make it official. Everyone knew at this point, and seniors were feeling it all now, the shock, the grief, the celebration already of 4 years on campus. My friends and I cracked open a bottle of wine and took pictures on Killian with the hundreds of other students partying until 5pm. At 5pm though, the email released. It was official. All undergraduates were to move out in a week.

My floor exploded - flights frantically booked. What about storage? I called my mom and she was on it - Sunday afternoon flight booked, same one as my friend. And there was nothing to do except stare out the window of my friends room into the Boston skyline and finish off my wine bottle. And like many of my graduating peers, I realized that my senior year was done, and that I had not even a week to say goodbye to my home and to my friends. I started sobbing, nonstop. I hadn't cried like this since high school. My head of house started up a video call to the whole dorm, and hearing them talk logistics made me cry harder, and when I thought I stopped, I checked my phone and found an email from my professor berating the administration and acknowledging our irreplaceable loss. I cried again, harder. would commencement happen? Even if it did, my dad wouldn't be able to fly into the country. I continued to sob at the thought. After two hours, I eventually found my way to my friends bed where I fell asleep next to her until dinner, and with my eyes no longer swollen from tears, I wandered down to the dining hall with them. We saw other seniors, who had also been crying, judging from the redness in their eyes and cracks in their voices. The pain felt numb for me at this point. My friends stuck around for a bit, and we played some video games. No one on the floor was working, as we all had too much going on in our heads. The house team worked tirelessly to organize storage, and few of us slept that night. We stayed up chatting in the lobby about our families and going home and afterwards lied in our beds, sleepless, staring at the ceiling. The next day, I had just one class to go to, as large classes had been cancelled already. The campus was buzzing with yesterday's events. And in that class, we said our parting goodbyes, and many of us teared up yet again. But we laughed so hard too in that class, as we shared stories from our case just two days ago and for a moment, we forgot our pain. We took a class photo before we parted ways. After class, we lined up for an hour, each and every student, to personally thank our professor. 

My senior friends and I shared many meals together, and we parted, saying we'd see each other once again before we left. I watched my best friend take her swim test and watched as giant friend groups of other seniors came and cheered on their friends, fulfilling their last graduation requirement. To watch everyone support each other in these trying times brought warmth to my heart. I went home and ate dinner with my floor family, as we sat on the windowsills and drank boba and ate grilled cheeses. I was exhausted though, so I planned to go to bed at midnight, but I received a message from my best friend - she no longer was leaving on Monday, she was leaving in just eight hours.

I ran to maseeh and helped her pack until 5am. We packed up her curtains and I held her as she cried because she thought her parents were going to help her pack up her last year, just as they helped her screw in her curtains at the beginning of the year. I helped her store her stuff in the student center and we threw out bounties of trash and food. After I left, I knew with a sinking feeling that I wouldn't see her again for a while. And she cried a few more times and left early Thursday morning. When I woke up, she was gone. So I started cleaning and packing. The first boxes arrived in the green living room. In cleaning out my room, I found stuff from my first days of freshman year, my 8.02 exams, my chemistry notes, old electronics projects hidden away in boxes. And it was finally the end of my road, and so it was time to say goodbye to them. I spent so long mindlessly throwing stuff out, I had forgotten to leave McCormick until I finally went down to the lobby to hang out. And I hung out there for two hours, talking to everyone and anyone. I did a boba order for the ballerz, and my floor did yet another free dinner, so we once again ate together, laughing over the copious amount of free food on the kitchen table. Five or six of us returned to chatting and laughing about studying at home with family around in someone's room. A friend of mine invited us over to play Smash at BC, so we went and played a couple rounds. We returned to slowly packing until 11pm.

Things had been looking ok, as my dorm had dropped large amounts of money in buying everyone nice food. But when everyone received the emergency message from MIT telling us to leave by Sunday instead of Tuesday on Thursday night, the dorm exploded. Group chats started going off endlessly, with rumors of students already being sick or being quarantined on campus. I ran to my friends room, where she was already on the phone with her family, rebooking her flight for Saturday. "Just two days?" I thought to myself. "Not even two days I have left now with her and everyone and this home." She hung up the phone and started spilling rumors of Boston Logan closing on Monday. I melted to the floor, having a full panic attack. The dorm’s chat, another dorm’s chat, and every friend group chat started inciting even more fear and panic with each additional rumor. My ears were buzzing and my vision was blurring as I continued sitting on the floor. GRAs were woken up and started doing rounds on each floor, even though it was well past midnight at this point, to check on all the residents, many of whom were gathered in clusters around the floor. I went downstairs to talk to my GRA when I received a text from my friend. Chills ran down my back - "California might shut down within 24-48 hours." I did the math. The flight I rescheduled to just an hour ago was in 45 hours on Saturday afternoon. I felt another panic attack creeping up on me, so I ran off to talk to my friend. I went back up to my floor, where people were still yelling in the kitchen. She was off to the side, frantically still talking on the phone. Once I had calmed down a bit, I pulled her aside and told her about these messages, and she confirmed them in another group chat, showing me essentially a screenshot of a screenshot of a message in an unnamed group hat. Speechless, I stood in the hallway with her facing me. I guess she didn't know what else to do but hug me and reassure me it would be ok, because we had hit the point of simply not knowing what to do but say "I'm so sorry" to each other, as if it would ease the pain. I stayed up till 4:30am packing. My other friend called me, imploring me to change my flight to Friday, just 12 hours from then. I asked her bluntly, acknowledging my lack of family around the country - "if I can't go home, where am I supposed to go?" She promised I could stay with her in Texas and I stared back in disbelief, that we would reach this point of possibility that we would have no place to go, but that people would be so nice to open their homes to others who simply had no other place to go. I stared at my hopelessly unpacked room, the half consumed cider on the desk, and my sheer exhaustion, which had been kept awake by adrenaline. I called my mom again, who I'm sure was also was sleepless and asked whether our neighbor had also changed her flight. She said she didn't know whether they were able to change it. The next morning, two people woke me up two different times. Early in the morning, I fought for laundry machines and finished up most of my packing. That afternoon, I hung out in the lobby with my friends again and screamed out the window on a beautiful day as we blasted BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY into the courtyard. My dorm had a senior sendoff, complete with a senior gift and confetti, and a walk to Pomp and Circumstance, which was touching, considering we might not get commencement at the end of the year. But having everyone there to celebrate our little community and watch us walk to receive our fake diplomas and take senior pictures meant a lot to me.

Shortly after, I went up to the penthouse to watch the sunset for the last time. I had watched so many sunsets on top of that rooftop, as it was my goto spot when things went wrong. And things had never quite gone so wrong as this time. I looked at Fenway, where I went to my first Red Sox game, and Prudential, where my favorite gelato place is, and over to the right where BU is, where my friends and I run along the Esplanade. Every building, I could pin a memory. I watched the cars run down the bridge, where my friend and I pulled an all-nighter and watched the most beautiful sunrise. I watched the river slowly churn along and thought about how much I would miss seeing this every day. To think that just two weeks ago we had been yelling at each other about taking grapes out of the dining hall, that we were angry at each other for doing A or not doing B or saying C, all these problems were so inconsequential now. When you have just a few days left with the people you love, you remember that being around them and laughing and smiling with them is the most important thing, bottom line. I wrote letters to my friends to thank them for being them and sealed them into envelopes for the next day, and returned downstairs to store my stuff in the storage pod and eat dinner. Afterwards, we lied on our bare mattresses and laughed until 2am. My friend returned from maseeh also late that night, her eyes red from saying goodbye to her senior friends. I said good night and see you tomorrow, for what would be the last time for a while. That last morning, I said goodbye to so many people. It didn't really feel like goodbye, or maybe it hasn't set in yet. I watched my first friend leave in her Uber, and I hung out with my other friend until she left just an hour before me. And then it was my turn to leave, as I said goodbye to all the GRAs and my area director, promising I'd be back. And I took that one last walk out the front door. Halfway down the driveway, I took one last look back at the building I called home for four years, a place that had changed so much since I entered it four years ago, but has also changed me so much too. I thought about where I met my friends for the first time, the midnight piano in the GLR, the many nights spent talking until late night in 4 and 5 west. But the car was waiting, so I turned back to my ride to the airport, and I gave my friend one last hug and watched her wave as I drove away, down Memorial Drive, one last time.