#i win a decent amount of the time but holy shit

[goodluckclove]

CRIMEEEEEE

TELL ME THE CRIMEEEE

So I think this is from when Sleep Deprived Hangover Man invited the internet to ask them about the crimes they committed as a youth. I will be honest, this is not a super great thing I did. But because the statue of limitation is up and honestly none of the crimes are really - significant? They're just weird. I was an angsty, turbulent, manic youth.

And it turns out, I'm an equally turbulent adult. I tried to list the weird semi-crimes I've done in my childhood, and it sort of turned into a guide on how other young people can kind of break the law and get away with it. Maybe not law. Policy? Yeah, so it's not great and I'm putting it under a read more.

Disclaimer, since this is still technically my author page: I do not think any minor should do most crimes without just cause. Like within the legal system the trouble it could get you in sounds like it could really set you back for a long time. I actually don't even think you should immediately implement my advice across the board without practice and introspection and observation. It's actually a way harder skill to cultivate than people might expect, but if you can it will help you for a long time for things other than crimes.

Ideally you don't do it. If you want to, learn how to tell when the right time to do it would be. Don't make a point to inconvenience people more than you have to, both because that's a nice thing to do, and because it improves the odds of you getting away with it. I need to stop telling young people how to do crimes. Or do I? I don't know. If anyone has questions about my philosophy and experience you can ask and I'll say more.

I am a professional weirdo. Let's do this.

Let's go in a vague order!

I was suspended for terrorist death threats in the third grade. I do not believe this is fully my fault but it is a thing that happened.

I shoplifted a pretty decent amount, but not in a way I think any other youth would find cool. I stole candy and pens. But like GOOD pens.

I used to carry glitter glue on me for the sake of writing poetic phrases on various surfaces

Once I walked into an empty business lobby and moved around some plants and furniture, and then I left. If there was a camera there I probably created a strange story.

I generally trespassed a bunch of places all the time. All the time, straight up. If there was an open door or unattended hall that I wasn't supposed to explore I'm absolutely exploring it and taking whoever I'm with with me. I learned pretty quickly that I was charming enough to pull off being caught and getting myself out of it without any consequence. Literally, if you aren't actively causing trouble and just wandering around someplace you know you're not supposed to be, just tell someone who finds you and asks questions that you're lost and you aren't sure where to go. Like maybe you thought this was a way to the parking garage or the bathroom. Assuming I wasn't stealing, causing damage, or shouting slurs, this has worked for me 100% of the time.

Literally, if you do crimes that aren't crimes, you should practice being genuinely nice

Not fake snarky nice, like actually polite and respectful

You didn't realize you weren't supposed to be hanging out in that lot or in that parking garage. You were just trying to find a place to sit and chill. But yeah, you'll leave.

Yes, in retrospect walking down the lightrail tracks wasn't a safe or practical idea. But you took the wrong train and you genuinely didn't know how to get back and this was the only idea you had. You're just trying to get home. Look, you're even buying a ticket (I like never did that as a youth holy shit)!

a teenager is not going to win a fight with an adult who perceives themselves an authority. I don't think you should do whatever adult authority figures say. I do think that you should learn how to navigate your way out of conflicts within spaces in a way that means you can still use that space

if you break a rule and, instead of fighting, take the honest stance that you didn't mean to do that and, in fact, you actually need help from an Adult Authority Figure for a slightly unrelated thing that doesn't actually matter to you (directions to a place, maybe).

I genuinely just wandered around wherever I wanted and this always, always worked for me. I'm really good at looking confused and like I need help, because most of the time I am actually confused and need help

You are not in a sitcom and being sarcastic and snarky to a person that catches you trespassing will not not to anything but make you think you're cool. They'll still make you leave, and now you can't go back to the place you explored because you're the person that started shit instead of the person who got confused and made a mistake and apologized and left.

Adults in authority positions automatically assume a young person in a place/doing a thing they aren't supposed to do will turn it into a conflict. If you genuinely, honestly respond with respect and curiosity, I almost guarantee you'll get away with it. Fucking say you've never tagged before and you weren't really sure if it was still a crime in a place like this, but you get why the person is upset.

Offer to clean your own tag. Like not ironically. Ask if they have some supplies or if you can come back. Be entirely serious, say you're realizing it wasn't a good idea and you kind of regret it. This doesn't have to be true, but it will rattle a security guard or manager far more than if you call them a fascist.

They might yell still, but if you give them nothing they can justify as a reason to keep yelling at you they're actually going to look like the weirdo to themselves and everyone around them

thesis: misdemeanors are a lot easier to get away with if you are unafraid to look like you're naive and willing to learn and adapt. You might feel like it's a blow to your pride, but in the long run you will be able to do way more questionable shit. i came to this conclusion when I was 14 years old and decided I'd rather do weird shit than have the adult minor authority figures think i'm a peer or a worthy adversary, because neither of those things would happen anyway.

Okay so this just turned into a guide on how to do a misdemeanor. I should say now that there are crimes that are bad. Even tagging, something I truly enjoy, does create more work for employees and sanitation workers. That's frankly why I like ways that are easier to remove than spray paint and postage stickers if it's something you want to do.

And I'm not necessarily pro-shoplifting as, like, a hobby? I don't think it's great, mainly because if you are caught it'll probably lead to you being banned from the store you stole from. Which, if you're young, can be pretty hard to hide from the adults in your life. And the shaming that results from doesn't seem worth whatever you took. I still have a mug I shoplifted from Target, and I am not thrilled that I stole it, because it reminds me of a time in my life when I felt so shitty I decided to steal something to feel in control of a situation. And that sucks.

Compare that to moving furniture in some random office and then walking way. That's so fucking funny and I do not regret doing that at all. Imagine you're looking at security footage and you see that. That's some cryptid shit.

Young people - if you are weirder and nicer about it, the amount of stuff you can do widens extensively and you can potentially confuse adults who work otherwise boring and stressful jobs for a long time to come. Case closed.

[ccrisntok]

i was looking up during what times jockey's usually race for a request, bc i assumed they only raced during the summer. they race all year round btw, slightly less in winter than summer, but still pretty consistently.

However.

this guy doesnt like riding horses, right? he's an icon bc of it. but he doesn't like it. it gives him lots of anxiety.

(pay no attention to how uneven my screenshots are) (also crack theory, Ace always wears his gloves not bc of some wild trauma reason, but bc his hands sweat sm that he needs to cover them or he'll get it everywhere bc he is constantly stressed. Not what this post is about whatsoever.)

When i saw these lines, I was like "aw damn." like, a normal amount of sad at this information. bc i figured jockeys raced like, once a week. i assumed this mf had plenty of freetime to destress and watch my little pony or some shit while he wasn't racing.

BUT NO.

JOCKEYS RACE LIKE. 8 TIMES A DAY. TO MAKE A DECENT LIVING OFF OF IT. like whjt aadsfahj ACE IS THE ULTIMATE JOCKEY. HES OUT HERE DOING THE MOST. I mean, maybe he just wins all the races he does and he doesn't do them that much, but like. he'd have to win a fuckton to be an ultimate. and he still needs to actually make money. and he is like losing his mind every single time, which is like. daily. no wonder this mf has gray hair like holy shit.

Sorry if this was common knowledge and I'm just saying shit everybody knows 💀💀 I'm not much of an irl jockey enjoyer, just Ace lmao

[fishtankwater]

Good morning! could u do kazuichi nsfw alphabet :) gn or fem reader plsss and pref top reader have a nice day :D

OH THANK FUCK I FINALLY GOT A REQUEST

I was getting so bored waiting on one 😭

Uh anyway Tysm to this anon

AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE RSV. I AHVE A BABY VIRUS. A BABY VIRUS. SOBBING

Anyway my bad for ranting

Kazuichi souda x GN!Reader

CW- nsfw shit that’s it idk what to put here anymore 😭🤛🏻

Currently listening- Dumb Dick

A-Aftercare

Bro…Kaz would give so many kisses and praise the SHIT out of you. But if you degraded him he would need praise cuz let’s be honest he would think it’s true and probs cry

Also he’ll probably struggle to know what you want and ask 2663825372 questions. PLEASE shower with him after he wants it. Do it. You know you want to

B-Body part

Him- his muscles 💀

I forget he’s muscular sometimes it’s genuinely so weird to think abt. But PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SQUEEZE HIS BICEPS he loves it sm.

You- let’s be honest. The titties if u have em if not you chest in general

That whole vicinity is just chefs kiss to him If you have tits he will put his hands up ur shirt and squeeze them while cuddling and he’d probs calm them his “best friends” 💀

C- Cum

The first time he came as a kid he probably got scared cuz he didn’t know what it was and called his dad and was like “HELPPP” 😭. Ok I’m sorry for bullying him

His cum is probably sweet with a salty aftertaste if that makes sense and he cums a small amount so uh savor it while you can 😘

D-Dirty secret

Bro has so many pics of you naked in his camera roll he also records your moans/whimpers while y’all fuck tbh

AND HE SAVES EVERY VIDEO OF YOU HE CAN FIND he will become a professional stalker the second y’all become intimate or start dating

E-Experience

Unpopular opinion but I think he has a decent amount of experience like— not with women with the men AND HE WILL STILL DENY TAHT HE IS BISEXUAL “no I only did it because I was bored” AHHAHAHSHSHSJSHSJ

F-Favorite position

Please ride him. Please. Do it

OR SUCK HIM OFF IN THE SHOWER SUDHEHDHDBDJHE

“D-darlin-A-ah!”

STOP I CANT BRWTAHE

G- Goof Off

Depends what mood he’s in like sometimes he’ll be chillin laid back not caring how he acts and sometimes he’ll be stressed and just want to love you n shit

H- Hair

Def dyed his pubes pink LMAO

but there’s little to nonexistent hair

J-Jack off

Always thinks of you when it happens cuz he’s too embarrassed to ask for your help (poor baby)

L- Location

Anywhere anytime you ask he provides 💀

He prefers the bed to shower tho tbh

M-Motivation

Anything you do lol

But specifically seeing ur thighs, ass, or seeing you change or the thought of you showering like you being naked he has a urge to come in there with you tbh

N-Nuhuh

No hurting you bedsides a lil biting and maybe spanking. He also doesn’t wanna degrade you like he loves you and has no reason to think otherwise. Also other than overstim and biting he doesn’t wanna be hurt like bro 😔

O- Oral

Giver 💪🏻

Bro…the only time he will EVER overstim u is during oral like 😍 he loves your taste he can’t help it

When receiving he will buck his hips squirm whimper and cry tbh like out of happiness like it feels so good he can’t help it

P- Pace

Slow and steady wins the race

Bro will edge himself he doesn’t wanna go fast n hurt you to rush for it to be over he lovessss making love to you

Q- Quickies

“NOT HAPPENING!” -kazuichi souda

R-Risk

YES bro if your ok with it he will do it

He loves having public sex sm

S-Stamina

As long as you want him to go he will go

Wanna go for 5 hours? Ok bet he may not have much stamina that’s why he loves riding or cowgirl

T-Toy

Nope nada nee

HE wants to pleasure YOU not some toy

U-Unfair

No he would never but when you tease him he gets so shocked like jaw dropped to the floor but he loves it it’s like OSNHECSHSGHEHBRHEJHEH

V-Volume

WHIMPER-ER

Bro when he does moan he will moan so loudly too like are you trying to get the neighbors to call the cops on us??

W- Wild card

He gets jealous of gundham and pulls you aside to fuck the shit out of you like one of the only times he ever told you is when he’s jealous

X-X-Ray

I watched a video on yt that gives headcannon dog their dick size and tbh it seems kind of accurate his was 5 inches which I think it would maybe like that or 6 inch anywhere between 5-6 inches tbh (6inch= 15.24 centimeters 5inch= 12.7 centimeters for my non American people)

Y-Yearning

He’s horny 24/7/365 ok shut up

Z-ZZZZZZZ

He will be tired but try to stay awake to eat drink take a shower and then he’s out 😘

[that-house]

how does one kill a god? like very practically what’s the best way to beat a god’s ass

now i ain't exactly versed in real world theology so the minutiae of actual mythological deicide are a bit lost on me. however i am a writer and a dungeon master who likes that sort of shit, so let's get into it.

i'm a sucker for stories where one option is overwhelming force. a truly staggering, horrifying amount of force. a brilliant flash of light, a sound that drowns out all thought, and when the smoke clears there truly is nothing less. depending on the needs of the story there may be an incredible cost to this, or horrible backlash, or a series of hoops that need to be jumped through first. but i do like the idea that a possible solution is just "fax god a turbonuke"

if that option was the physical option, it's time to talk metaphysical. the classic is destroying their powerbase: destroy their scriptures, convert or kill their believers, tear down their holy places. gods are nothing without someone to remember them. this is also how you functionally kill a god in real life, and it's called cultural genocide.

another option on the more metaphysical side of things is corrupting what they represent. urban sprawl kills the nature god. global warming strains the bonds between the gods of the seasons and the gods of winter will be extinct soon. with the advent of steel and aluminum and carbon fiber and kevlar, the god of iron is not what he used to be. this may be local, this may be global. nature still exists. it still snows. iron is still in use. but these gods are not the heavy hitters they once were, not everywhere.

if you don't have the power or influence to brute force a killing blow physically or metaphysically, there's still hope! challenge them to a contest of skill, wits, strength, whatever. crucially, you do have to win this contest or it goes badly for you. but one does not become a god without attaining some measure of pride, and the odds are decent they accept the challenge. make an ironclad agreement that favors you, the weak and pitiful mortal, and then be ready to cheat, lie, and steal your way through every loophole.

when fighting a god, it's not enough to stack the deck. merely stacking a deck just puts the cards in a useful order. gods don't become gods by losing. you're gonna need two more decks in your sleeves and a gun pointed at them under the table, but if you play your cards right, you'll find that the flesh of immortals is sweet and rich. bon appetit

[bengiyo]

2Cutie2Pie Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we used avoidance decently for the first time in this series. Nu-Kuea received an offer from Cosmixo Entertainment in Korea, and this will inevitably affect their wedding plans. Speaking of which, neither are on the same page about their wedding despite the nudges from Yi and Kon Diao. Syn and Nuer continue to have the most fascinating relationship, what with the way piety impacts them. Having a good time, honestly.

I like these two so much more when they're expressing themselves clearly to each other.

NuNew is a pretty good crier.

I do like the dynamic between these two. Ever since @shortpplfedup called this a bodice-ripper I've enjoyed it so much more.

What the hell is going on with Yi and Lian??

Nuer's steadfast support of Syn is really touching.

Nu-Kuea is finally learning some knife skills, and ALSO PULLING A COUNTER LIFT ON LIAN!!!

Oh I like this morning in bed scene. Lian is making Nu-Kuea get up, but takes the opportunity to ask about an unspoken boundary that has formed in their sexual relationship. I like that Lian noticed, but hasn't asked about it in months since he usually waits for Kuea to say something. I like that the answer was actually sweet.

Yi is much more relaxed since everything is clear. It's refreshing.

Foei, my dude, why are you so disheveled!

Loving these gay little friends trying not to hate the decorations.

Aww, poor Foei. It seems he really got let down by a provider.

Oh good. Everyone is helping.

This pantomimed conversation in the background was hilarious. Syn balking at being asked to lie, and Nuer just jumping in to fake sick is adorable.

"They're engineered majoring in acting." 😂 okay, Yi

Tonnam is back!! Everyone is showing up for this party.

Boun and Prem weren't available for Lian's party, but I want to say how much I like that he feels his marriage is important for Nu-Kuea's grandfathers. Any show will win me over if it honors queer elders and ancestors.

I am actually curious to see more unpacking of Yi and Kon Diao in the future. Glad Kon Diao followed him to bed.

Holy shit do I have a lot to say about this bed scene with Syn and Nuer. It Four Moons (2014) and Love Stage!! (TH) for favorite first time scenes.

First let's talk about how Nuer is very clear about his intentions as he asks permission to remove barrier and get closer. Next, I actually like that they had a mishap while making out. We haven't had a first time that had to be figured out since maybe Four Moons (2014), and that's my favorite first time of all time. Third, moving Syn's hands to pull Nuer's shirt off is one of the hottest things we've seen in forever. Fourth, Nuer is so patient about advancing things with Syn, even as he accidentally gets kicked (likely from being tickled). Fifth, Syn is a menace for the amount of mishaps they've sustained. Still, they both seem satisfied that they tried.

So much waiting and anticipation. I will riot if they don't get married next week.

I find it hard to believe they won't have a plan for rain considering how much it rains in Thailand.

[pleasekeepthisasecret]

you know what....... we know.

we know biden isn't perfect. we know there's an obscene amount of work to do still. we know there are still children separated from their parents at the border. we know racism and sexism and transphobia and homophobia are still humongous issues that need immediate action to stop. we know the supreme court is fucked. we know mitch mcconnell is still alive. we know the electoral college still exists and that the police aren't defunded. we know COVID killed a quarter of Americans (and counting) and that we are still in a pandemic that won't be rectified in the USA because of the harmful rhetoric this administration set for half the country to believe not to wear a damn mask. voter suppression and police brutality and the housing market and homelessness and health insurance and student loans and animal abuse and global fucking warming. we know girl.... we been knew

you know what else?? this year was horrid. 2020 was a nightmare. and it has been 4 fucking years since it was remotely peaceful. WE ARE AWARE IT WASN'T PERFECT BEFORE.... BUT IT WASN'T NEARLY AS SUFFOCATING. so i am....... begging you guys to give us a fucking break. huge difference in appreciating what happened yesterday, and purposely not allowing any joy in a joyless year. enjoy this. enjoy the fact that he is leaving after being fucking terrified he could've stayed longer. that we had people rise up to stop him when we could. that although biden isn't a perfect politician and is none of our first choice, we are going to have a sincerely decent human back in charge. that we have a female PoC (for the first time!!!!) by his side. that we got so many people educated about politics in these last few hell years to KEEP IT GOING. WE ALL INTEND TO KEEP THIS GOING. celebrating this election outcome doesn't mean we are abandoning the fight or that we are naive enough to believe everything will be perfect now! it means we have one very substantial win in order to keep us motivated enough to not feel as hopeless as we did last week. this is what we mean when we say let people enjoy things! let this Irish grandpa get in the fucking white house. let's get to inauguration day when TRE45ON is helicoptered out. THEN you can start hounding us to "know" the work isn't done and there's no reason to celebrate.

but right now? there is.

dance in the fucking street. have one fucking moment of levity after what felt like centuries of trauma, holy shit y'all are annoying af

[slytherweasley]

Family secrets (Ginny Weasley x reader & George Weasley x reader)

Warnings: Smut- female receiving oral male receiving oral, penetrative sex swearing

Summary/request: Ginny secretly hooking up with one of the twins’ best female friend and them having no idea whatsoever. And then maybe one of them also has a crush on her and trying to get her attention, so she’s between one of the twins and Ginny.

For the sake of this fic Ginny is a year younger than the reader so Ron’s age

If you want to request here are my request guidelines

“Ah shit” you yelled as Ginny’s mouth sucked on your clit and her fingers pounded into you bring you to your orgasm.

“Gin I’m gonna cum” you arch your back and grip the sheets “Good girl you’re almost there” you buck your hips up to her mouth as you finish.

She moves to lay beside you in your bed as your chest rises and falls to its resting state. Her fingers comb through your hair as she kisses your cheek.

“How much longer do I have with you?” She asks longingly “All night, I told them to not come back until morning, they’re with their boyfriends or sleeping at a friends dorm. Plus the door is locked with magic so they can’t get in unless I unlock it.” “I actually get to cuddle you all night” she smiles.

You and Ginny have been secretly messing around since the summer holidays. She came to you, at first she wanted to lose her virginity then it became regular but it was strictly sex, you both like the company. The only reason you’re not dating is because no one knows about Ginny’s sexuality and you’re best friends with the twins.

There have been many close calls of being caught but somehow you manage to not get caught.

You and Ginny cuddle up all night together until your alarm wakes you up “Shit sorry Gin, I forgot about my alarm” “It’s alright, I have to be up for Quidditch anyway.” She kisses your lips and forehead before getting out of bed and getting decent to sneak out of your dorm.

Shortly after she leaves you get up to meet the twins before they practise before the game against Hufflepuff. “Good morning Y/n” George smiles “Hi Georgie” you know that George had a big crush on you, Ginny told you when you started your secret escapades, you’re just waiting for the day he finally makes a move.

“Oh you’re here Y/n, are you coming to the game today?” Fred asks “Of course I am” when you got to Hogwarts the twins were a year above you, they saw some potential in your pranking abilities so you helped them out occasionally until you became best friends.

You did some homework to fill in some time while they were at practise then went to the game with Harry, Ron and Hermione. “I’m glad Ginny joined the team” Hermione says “Yeah she’s really good” you agree. As they fly out both Ginny and George look in your direction so you wave at both of them without trying to make one look at the other.

Gryffindor get an easy win which ends in a celebration at the end of the day, Gryffindors know how to party. You were taking shots with the twins and getting a bit tipsy, Hermione was making sure everyone ate so she brought around lots of food which was about the only thing that kept you from getting drunk.

“Truth or kiss!” It was that time of night, where everyone gets crazy. They call it truth or kiss because it’s basically just a game to make out with everyone in the circle. People get in the circle “Lets go” “That game is lame” Fred says “George, you’ll go with me, right?” George blushes “Yeah” Fred rolls his eyes and joins in with the two of you.

People get asked to kiss the hottest or ugliest person in the room or the person you’d like to have sex with, it gets to your turn, the boys who’s turn to ask you chuckle and whisper “Who is the last girl you had sex with?” They ask “Fine, who do you want me to kiss?” “Kiss the hottest girl in the room” you knew they’d only ask you that because you would and they’re weirdos who like to watch girls make out.

You walk over to Ginny and kiss her, she kisses you back, holding your cheeks as she slides her tongue into your mouth, the boys cheer and you pull away. You get weird walking back to sit with the twins after just snogging their sister. “That was a joke, right?” George asks “Of course” you bite your lip and look over at Ginny.

After a couple rounds of kissing random girls you had enough, it got to your turn again, thankfully it was Ginny who asked you “Do you really think I’m the hottest girl in the room?” You couldn’t answer yes because you told the twins you were joking but if you said no Ginny would be upset. She sees you’re not going to answer “Kiss George” you were confused why she would ask that because she knows. You turn to George and kiss him, you tug on his hair as you kiss him.

After that round you left the circle as more people left, Y/n I want to talk” George says “Sure” George takes you to the corner “Umm after that kiss I’m not sure but do you maybe fancy me?” “George, you’re hot but you’re my best friend, I don’t think I could date you” “So you just think I’m hot?” “Yeah, I know you fancy me, it’s okay. If you want to have sex one day I won’t object” “How about now?” “Perfect” you grab his hand and go to his dorm.

As soon as the door closes you’re both taking off your clothes and kissing “We have about half an hour until Fred notices we are gone” George says taking off his shirt. You get on his bed once you’re naked he is taking off his pants “Fuck you’re hot” he says “So are you” he gets on the bed and kisses from your neck to your breasts leaving some hickeys on your chest before kissing down your stomach to your pussy.

The way George moves his mouth, he really knows what he is doing, the way he licked your clit you could have screamed, you had to put your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from being too loud. “You wet enough?” He asks “Mmhm” you nod, he pulls his underwear down revealing his dick he pumps it a few times before spreading your legs further apart. “You’re flexible, done this before?” He really had no idea what you could do “You could say that.”

He pushes himself into you, you both let out a moan, he stretches you out far enough to where it feels good. His strokes were the right amount of hard and fast. The room was filled with your moans and the sounds of your skin slapping against each other.

“It feels so good George, stretching me out and filling me up right” you finish around him, clenching as you cum “Fuck you’re tight” he moans pounding into you. “Such a good fucking pussy” you could tell he was close “Pull out, I’ll show you what I can do with my mouth.” He pulls out extremely desperate.

You suck on his tip before taking him into the back of your throat “Holy shit” he groans followed by multiple moans. He bunches your hair up in a ponytail and bobs your head up and down “Y/n I’m going to cum” he moans, you continue using your mouth until you hear him let out a loud long moan as he came, you swallowed and took your mouth off his dick.

“You need some water or something?” “It’s fine I’ll go take a shot” you get up and start putting your clothes on, you zip up your skirt and walk out. You take a shot, after that you were completely ruined, you needed to go to bed so you went to your dorm and as you were about to walk in you heard a familiar voice call your name.

“Y/n” Ginny calls “Hey” “Can I come in?” She asks, you were going to say no but Ginny know how to take care of you so you wouldn’t need that much energy. Just by standing there she could turn you on. “Sure” you open the door and the two of you walk in.

You didn’t feel bad about going between the two, besides the Weasley family is too hot to just have one of them.

Ginny sits on your bed with you “What was with making me kiss George?” “Just wanted to help George, he’ll never get the chance with you so a kiss will help his crush” you chuckle. “I think you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever met, I didn’t want to say it in front of the twins after I told them I didn’t have feelings for you.” “I knew the answer I just wanted to hear you say it” “How did you know?” “Because I am the only person who can make you cum in seconds” it’s true, she has tried it many times before.

“Ginny please” “Yes darling” she unzips your skirt pulling it down to reveal you have no underwear on, your cheeks flush red, you left them in George’s room, she definitely knows now. “How did you know this would happen?” You felt a wave of relief rush through you “Because neither of us can resist each other.” “Lay back, I’ll take care of you” she spreads your wetness around your already sensitive pussy, you whimper when her finger brushes past your clit.

“You that sensitive baby?” Ginny asks “Yes” “This should be easy then.” She rubs your clit with her fingers, you cry out and whimper. When she finally uses her mouth your back arches “Gin! Feels so good.” You came in half the time it usually takes you.

“You want me to take care of you Gin?” “Yes please” you undress Ginny squeezing and massaging her boobs. Your face moves near her pussy as your finger moves around her pussy “Fuck Gin, you’re so wet” “You make me so wet.”

You eat out Ginny with passion, you were tired but eating out Ginny was more pleasure than work. You finger her with a couple fingers as well, she seemed to love it. Your tongue moved between flicking her clit and licking it. She digs her fingers into the mattress as she finishes.

You lay beside her and cuddle “Goodnight Gin” “Goodnight Darling.” You fell asleep almost instantly and got woken by a knock on the door you wrap yourself in a blanket and answer the door, it’s George. You try to block the view of Ginny in your bed naked and asleep “George! What are you doing here?” “Well about last night-“ he notices you’re naked under the blanket “Is someone in here?” “No!” “Y/n?” Ginny calls out, your eyes go wide “You had sex with some girl after me?” Ginny sits up in bed “Excuse me” she gets up and you shut the door quickly.

“Who was that?” Ginny asks “Trust me leave it, you don’t want to know” “Also you had sex with someone before me, that’s why you were so wet and sensitive! Let me out there” “Ginny no! If you really want to go out there put on clothes” “No, I want to let them know” her hand goes to the handle “Ginny it’s your brother!” “What?” “It’s George, put on some clothes and we can talk” Ginny was shocked she put on her clothes from the night before and you let George in, he was just as shocked to see Ginny.

“Okay I’m sorry but I’ve been having sex with Ginny for a while now” “Ginny? You like girls?” He asks “Yeah, I was going to tell you guys but I didn’t know how to” “I’m happy you figured out your sexuality but with Y/n” “Sorry George” George turns to you “You took her virginity?” “I’m sorry George.” “I can’t believe you actually had sex with George” “I was going to keep it casual between you two, neither of you really needed to know” “I would have liked to know” Ginny says.

“I’m not sorry that I was doing it, I’m sorry you had to find out” “Well now what?” George asks “You break it off” Ginny says to George “No way, you had your turn, it’s my turn now” “Why don’t you let Y/n choose?” Ginny suggests.

“Here’s the deal, you agree or it’s neither of you” after the two of them fighting about it they came to a conclusion. “You can have both of us but not in the same day or after each other” Ginny says “And Fred doesn’t know any of this” George adds “Okay so we all agree” “Yes.”

“I’m just going to go so you two can finish whatever” “We weren’t-” “Don’t tell me, I don’t want any details either” George shuts the door behind him.

Ginny presses her lips against yours “That was easy enough.”

[purplegirl20]

Dinner Date

Pairing: Damian Priest x Self-Insert (Me)

Summary: Damian decided to make dinner for me after a long day of work.

Warning: None.

@omg-im-such-a-masochist @ghoulsister1 @priestparty @gold--gucciempress @theworldofotps @babiidee28 @msnikkimoneypenny

I really appreciate it if you like and reblog my story.

It was a quiet Tuesday night at my house. I returned home after a long day of being a delivery driver for both UberEats, Walmart and DoorDash.

Shaynell:(sighs) What a day today. Hauling food and groceries. I wonder how much I earned this week so far.

I pulled up my phone to see my earnings from their respective apps.

Shaynell: Let's see. 100 bucks from Door Dash, 100 bucks from Walmart, and 200 bucks from Uber. Not bad.

I quickly kick my shoes off and flopped on the couch.

Shaynell:(sighs) Holy shit, my feet are killing me.

As I tried to relax on the couch, I felt my stomach growling.

Shaynell: Holy shit. I'm hungry. I didn't eat anything. Maybe I should order something to eat.

I pulled my phone and went on the Ubereats app.

Shaynell: Hmm. What should I order tonight?

Before I make my decision, I heard the doorbell ring.

Shaynell: Huh. Who's visiting me at this time?

I quickly get off the couch and went to the door. I opened the door and saw Damian Priest at my doorstep.

Damian: Hello princessa!

Shaynell: Damian!

I smiled and kissed him on the lips, making him smile.

Shaynell: Congrats on winning the U.S title.

Damian: Thank you Mija.

He smiled and kissed me on the cheeks, making me blush.

Damian: May I come in?

Shaynell: Of course.

He smiled and enters my house.

Damian: How was your weekend, Mija?

Shaynell: The usual. Making deliveries during the weekends.

Damian: Wow. That's a lot.

He makes himself comfortable on the couch.

Damian: What are you doing now?

Shaynell: Well, I'm about to order something to eat tonight, but I have no idea what to eat.

Damian: Mija. Let me cook for you.

Shaynell: Are you sure? It's kinda late to cook a meal.

Damian: Nonsense, princessa. I want you to have the most delicious meal in the world.

Shaynell:(chuckling) What do you have in mind, Mijo?

Damian: I'm going to make some Arroz con pollo and tostones, just like mi mamá.

Shaynell: I would like that.

He smiled and lead me to the kitchen to help him cook the food. As he was seasoning and prepping the chicken and rice with sofrito, I was cutting the plantains into slices for the tostones.

After over 1 hour of cooking and prepping, the food was finally ready.

Shaynell: This looks so delicious.

Damian: I know. Let's eat.

I smile as we grabbed our plates. We grabbed a generous amount of the aromatic rice and chicken, along with the crispy tostones. I quickly took a bite and smile in content.

Shaynell: Oh my god. This is so delicious.

I smile as I took a bite of the tostones.

Shaynell: This is delicious.

I smile and quickly gobble down my food.

Damian:(chuckling) Mija. I know you like my food, but the food is not going anywhere.

Shaynell: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the first decent meal I had in weeks.

Damian: What do you mean?

Shaynell: Well since I'm doing deliveries almost every day, I don't have time to cook, so I resort to eating convenience store food.

Damian: Mija. That's not good. You know that.

Shaynell:(sighs) I know. But I'm used to eating crap anyway.

Damian: Mija. I know you work several jobs in order to make money, but your health is important.

Shaynell: I know.

Damian: Tell you what. How about I'll help you do meal prep?

Shaynell: You'll do that? For me?

Damian: Of course. I want you to live forever. Just like me.

Shaynell: Oh Damian.

I smile and gave him a kiss on the cheeks, making him smile.

Shaynell: I really do have the best boyfriend ever.

Damian:(chuckling) Aw. I know.

We spend the rest of the night, eating dinner and streaming HBOMax.

[angelhummel]

what would you do with the characters you don't like if you had power over glee? would you completely get rid of them, replace them or rewrite them to be something different?

I mean the mean part of me wants to say I would just scrap Brittany completely bc she didn't amount to anything in the end asjdfhlfsk BUT if I'm trying to be creative then no, that's too easy. With Brittany, there are two ways I could play it

1) She actually is quite clever but puts on the typical ditzy cheerleader act for funsies. To make sure Quinn knows she isn't a blonde rival threat lol. To mess with guys who think they can take advantage of her. Mostly for her own amusement, to see the looks on people's faces whenever she says something "dumb". But she drops the act midway thru s2 (when they quit the cheerios) and we get to see her for who she really is. Sharp and blunt at the same time, with a sardonic and dry wit that sometimes goes over people's heads. But she's dropped the dumbass act to be a lil smart ass

"How do you know my dim-witted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?"

2) She is kind of a ditz but she actually has the emotional intelligence that people claim she has. But the good "Go back in there and be there for Kurt", "family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what" kind, not the "you have to actually eat the chocolate bar or it will melt and look like you have poop in your hand". Basically Brittany talking about poop or toilets or anything in that same vein is strictly forbidden. She's not great in school, makes C's and D's in her main classes. But has creative electives like art, photography, creative writing, etc and does amazingly in those classes. She has her own unique way of looking at things and offers her own unique wisdom to help put things in perspective from time to time

Either way, she is never a complete fucking bonehead turned math genius bc that is fucking awful. And maybe you could even add in the actual autism angle bc like. Doesn't understand social cues, takes things too literally, etc. And either way she would graduate in s3 and get out of my face. So that's what I'd do with Brittany

Finn is easier but also harder bc this is such a gargantuan task and deviation from canon but. Have him actually be more like the person we're told he is. You TELL me he is this amazing uniter of cliques, kind hearted, perfect blend of a jock and show choir god, ushering the school into a new age of togetherness. You SHOW me he is a lil bitch who runs away from the club at the slightest difficulty, drops slurs and outs people on the reg, wants to be the leader without putting in the work, and is kind of a ball hog who actually sucks at football and isn't that great a singer. What's not clicking

Obviously Finn doesn't have to be perfect. He can have issues and uncertainties. But holy shit maybe have one issue once or twice. Doing this same bullshit half a dozen times and never learning a lesson makes me hate him!!!! Idk man just make him less of a fucking asshole

And don't fucking act like he ascended to sainthood when he died. I'm sorry but that bullshit about like "Finn wanted Sam in the club bc he was looking for someone to take over his legacy when he was gone" like shut the fuck up that actually sounds insane. Don't fucking do that. Finn is just a dude. Just make him be a kind of chill and cool dude with his heart in the right place but he slips up and makes mistakes bc he's still human. He doesn't use slurs or out anyone. He isn't constantly beating people up. He doesn't attack a sex worker, thanks. Maybe don't make him a serial cheater either, that would be nice

As for Sebastian, yeah, no, you can scrap him completely. He isn't interesting or fun and it actually drives me insane that he's the fifth most popular character on ao3. You can have your own preferences, you can like a little rich bitch bratty bad boy villain wannabe. But knowing that that many people are so far up his butt makes me wanna scream lol

Shelby, I would change her plotline by having her end up in jail. That would be a nice arc for her character

Will, I would change him by having him be a decent teacher. Broke: himbo Finn. Woke: himbo Will. He's kind and tries his best but he is shockingly dumb. Doesn't realize his wife isn't really pregnant for like five months?? The pieces are there. He sometimes lets himself be bulldozed in his own classroom but when other students talk, he listens. Takes their suggestions, actually shines a light on everyone, helps them improve and lets everyone have their moment in the spotlight. In the end everyone loves him and when he wins teacher of the year, it doesn't feel like a hollow bullshit contrivance

Sue. Either make her drop the villain shtick by about s3, or get rid of her entirely. Talk about going around in circles. I really think she was the worst of it. It got sooo old and boring and it was the same thing for six seasons. So have her be an ally to the club come s3, after her sister's funeral bc that makes sense. Or just write her off. Idc how

Don't ever let Rory set fucking foot on this show. Sorry to the actor but that character was partially responsible for why s3 went down the fucking shitter. He was terrible, and having to write plots about being Irish made early s3 a fucking joke

Oh and I would magically make it so that the viewers of the show have some common fucking sense. And if a character is being racist or a bigot or just a general cunt, there wouldn't be 2395890 compilation videos on youtube praising them for being brutally honest or sassy or hilarious or what have you. :) You know, if I had THAT kind of power

So yeah those are my thoughts. Took me a while to answer but I appreciate the ask!

[fruitcoops]

would u write about the night of remus’s first goal and sirius just WORSHIPPING remus

Did someone say 3200 words of Coops being comfortable around each other even while ~spicy times~ are happening and the start of a 3-part smut series? No? Oops :)

Credit for Coops/ Sweater Weather goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for smut, a rampant praise kink, and both people laughing during sex

The Lions were everything to Sirius. They were his brothers, his family, his whole life. With Remus on the team, that feeling had only grown, and celebrating a win with them brought a sense of euphoria that was unmatched by pretty much everything.

And yet he wanted to be anywhere but the locker room right then.

Talker and Remus were laughing on the other side of the room while the cubs chanted “Loops, Loops, Loops!” at the top of their lungs; Remus’ two goals had given them the edge they needed to crush the Badgers 6-2 in the first game of the season; Sirius was bursting with pride, but the wait was killing him.

His leg bounced up and down as he zipped and unzipped his duffel for the millionth time. Remus was flushed with victory and alight with latent adrenaline—Sirius felt a little guilty for wanting to pull him away from the celebration that he rightfully deserved. You’re beautiful, he shouted internally. You’re so beautiful and how am I supposed to wait a decent amount of time before dragging you home?

“The fuck are you scowling at?” James laughed as he leaned over his stall and smacked Sirius on the shoulder with his glove. “Hey, earth to Cap. We won the game, man.”

“I know, I know.”

“We won by a lot.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Your fiancé scored two perfect goals, I don’t see the prob—oh. Ohhhh.” His eyes widened and he bit his lip mischievously. “I get it now. Hey, Loops!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sirius hissed as Remus looked over at them. His smile softened when he saw Sirius. Pretty, was all his brain supplied.

“Sup, Pots?” he asked, wandering over and running a hand through his hair.

“You two should head home early,” James said faux-casually.

Remus frowned. “I thought we were going to get dinner with the team?”

Sirius died a little inside at that, but it was fine. You’re the captain, he reminded himself. You have to be part of team events.

But I don’t want to, the hyped-up, besotted, and incredibly horny part of him whined.

“Nah, I’ve got to plan for…Lils and I’s anniversary. Also, nobody really made final decisions on where we were going anyway.” It was clearly a lie, but Sirius appreciated his effort.

“Okay,” Remus said suspiciously, drawing out the word. “Is this some sort of prank? Are you trying to get me to leave so you can fuck with my stall or something? If I find anymore shaving cream, I swear—”

“Oh, my god,” James groaned, grabbing Remus by the shoulders and giving him a little shake. Thinnest patience in the world, Sirius thought wryly. “Go home. Celebrate. Please get railed by your fiancé before his grumpy vibes seep into the walls.”

Remus’ eyes went wide and he looked down at Sirius, who was desperately trying to suppress a blush. “Wha—you—oh. Okay. Um, yeah, that’s cool.” His eyes narrowed when he turned back at James. “Bold of you to assume he’s doing the railing. Stereotypes, much?”

“That’s your issue?” Sirius asked incredulously.

James rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry. Please go home and get laid or do whatever it is you do to banish the cranky captain aura. Better?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Remus glanced back to Sirius. “Are you ready to head out?”

“He’s been packed for ten full minutes,” James said, turning him around and pushing him toward his stall. “Go.”

“Was that really necessary?” Sirius sighed as Remus packed his bag in a rush.

“I could have yelled it across the room,” James pointed out. “Also, you should be thanking me.”

“Thank you for not being as much of an asshole as you could have been.” Sirius stood up and knocked their foreheads together. “You played really well tonight, by the way.”

“Thanks, Captain,” James teased, giving him a little push. “Not a bad start to the season, eh?”

“Not bad at all.”

“Baby, you ready?” Remus asked, his voice a little tight as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Heat flashed through Sirius’ body and he gripped the edge of the stall; next to him, James started snickering. “Shut it, Pots.”

“Have fun, you two!” James called as they headed for the door.

“I’m telling Lily you forgot your anniversary!” Remus shouted back over his shoulder while Sirius dragged him along by the hand.

By the time they made it to the parking lot, Sirius could feel his heartbeat in his ears. He crowded Remus against the passenger door and pressed a hard kiss to his lips, gripping his waist and grinding slowly until their breaths came in short gasps.

“Fuck, you’re so hard,” Remus panted as he pulled on Sirius’ lower lip. “Any particular reason?”

“You. Just—you.” Sirius moved to his neck and Remus keened as he nibbled along his jawline and throat. “You have no idea how good you look on the ice. That first goal was perfect, and then you got another one—”

Remus laughed, combing his fingers through the curls that fell into Sirius’ eyes. “Now you know how I felt for months. We should definitely get in the car or else I’m getting on my knees right fucking now and that’s going to be embarrassing for us both.”

Ten incredibly tense minutes later, Sirius was fumbling with the house key as Remus kissed his neck and slid his chilly hands under the back of his shirt. As soon as the door swung open, he spun around and dragged him inside, kicking the door closed behind them and all but slamming Remus against the wall.

“Have I told you recently how much I—hnnn—love that you’re a switch?” Remus’ breath caught as Sirius pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor next to their shoes.

“Ditto.” Sirius felt him wobble a little and grinned. “Sweetheart?”

“Mhm?”

“We should go upstairs.”

Remus sighed and let his head fall forward onto Sirius’ shoulder. “Since when are you reasonable?”

“Since we need a bed as soon as possible.”

“We do?”

“We really do.” Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and they practically ran to the stairs, pausing every few moments to kiss or bump against whatever they left laying around earlier that afternoon. Hattie cocked an ear when they passed her, but she settled back down—it was far past her bedtime. They made it halfway up the staircase before Remus pressed Sirius’ back into the wall, kissed the living hell out of him, and pulled his shirt over his head. “Twenty more feet.”

“Right here.”

“Twenty more feet and I’ll get you off twice.”

Remus’ breath audibly rushed out of his lungs and a full-body shiver ran through him; Sirius took advantage of the pause to take his hands and guide him backwards up the remaining stairs and into their bedroom. “Is this how you always felt after games?”

“Winning ones, yeah,” Sirius managed as he pulled Remus’ belt off with a sharp snap. Remus’ pupils dilated at the sound, and he raised his eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

“Totally okay, but I’m going to be laying awake having a very interesting inner monologue later,” he muttered, almost to himself. “Whew.”

“You’re going to be too tired to do anything once I’m through with you.”

Remus bit down gently on the side of his neck. “Promise?”

“You’re so fucking kinky, holy shit.” Sirius’ stomach filled with butterflies and he picked Remus up—the bed bounced as he dropped him on it, hovering over his heaving chest. “I love watching you skate, you know.”

“Clearly.”

“You were incredible out there.” Their jeans and socks came off quickly until only boxers were in the way. He carefully lowered himself and Remus’ leg jerked up on reflex as he ground down in a hard roll. “So fast, so graceful. They always underestimate you.”

“I am not going to last if you keep that up.”

“Yes, you will. You know why?”

A spark of interest lit in Remus’ eye. “Why?”

Sirius leaned down next to his ear. “Because you’re good.”

“Oh, fuck,” Remus breathed, canting his hips upward until Sirius shifted so the heels of his palms pressed against those sharp bones and held him down. “My heart is beating so hard right now.”

“I know, I can feel it,” Sirius laughed as he moved to kiss Remus’ throat and collarbone, which caught the moonlight through the bedroom window perfectly and cast shadows on the left side of his chest. “Mon coeur. Do you have the lube?”

Both of them winced as Remus’ hand smacked against the nightstand in his rush and Sirius kissed his knuckles, rubbing away the redness with one hand while uncapping the lube with the other. He scooted down the bed until his shoulders fit between Remus’ thighs—his thighs, holy fuck, Sirius had almost forgotten about those—and ran a light finger down the front of his boxers.

Remus twitched as Sirius leaned in to mouth at the hard line of him and ran one of his hands down the soft skin on his inner thigh, but he couldn’t move much and that only turned him on more. He squeezed tightly once with a desperate, half-gasped plea, then relaxed as Sirius kissed the inside of his knee. “Deep breaths, sweetheart. You’re doing so good.”

“I am?”

“You are, I promise.” Sirius slid back up until they were face-to-face and began pulling Remus’ boxers down as he kissed each of his cheeks. “Hey. You scored two goals tonight.”

“I did,” Remus said with a foxlike smile.

“I think that calls for a certain degree of celebration.” Sirius pushed his finger in at last and Remus arched his back, practically begging him to push him down again with a silent challenge. “I promised to get you off twice, right?”

“You did.”

“Except you also won the face-off.” Sirius couldn’t keep a smile down as Remus’ eyes widened. “Think you can do three?”

He swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes glazing over as Sirius added another finger. “I’m going to win every single game we play if this is what ha-happens do that again baby please.”

“Really? You’ll win every game?” Sirius crooked his fingers again and drew a low groan from him.

“Yes. Yes, every time.”

“I believe you’ll win, but I think you’d miss topping. I’d miss it.” Remus’ hands returned to his hair and tugged lightly until he kissed him. “You always feel so good, sweetheart, and I know you like being in control sometimes.”

“Are you calling me bossy?”

“Yeah. I love it. I love you.” The words were sweet on Sirius’ lips as the sharp edges of Remus’ smile smoothed out and he practically purred beneath him. The third finger slid in without an issue; as Sirius internally lost his mind, Remus rolled his shoulders back happily. “Ready?”

“So ready, c’mon.”

The first glide was immaculate, and it only built from there. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ chest as he moved—the frantic fuck-me-now adrenaline rush they had arrived with had begun melting away sometime during the last ten minutes, but Sirius still buzzed with energy and he felt the slight tremble of Remus’ anticipation everywhere their skin touched.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, running his hands down Remus’ ribs. His eyes were closed and his cheeks were flushed rosy red, mussed curls tumbling over his forehead and splayed in a halo against the pillows. “Look at me, mon coeur. You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, like liquid gold.”

“Hopeless romantic.” Remus shuddered a sigh as their gazes locked and a well-placed thrust rippled through him. “Good?”

“Good.” Sirius ducked his head and laughed quickly. “I’m so fucking glad you have a praise kink, by the way.”

“Oh, really?”

“It’s the best. All I have to say is you’re taking me so well—” he lowered his voice to a satiny rumble and the tendons in Remus’ neck seized. “—and you’re a puddle.”

“I am, I am, just—just a little higher, please.”

“Look at you, using your manners,” Sirius teased. He obliged, though, and he felt Remus’ skin heat up beneath his palms as his knee pressed into Sirius’ waist.

“Oh, fuck off.” Remus shook his head with a smile and drew him back in for a long kiss.

Kissing Remus was something special. His lips were soft and demanding at the same time, growing progressively more urgent as Sirius picked up the pace and small sounds punched from his lungs.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Remus managed, tugging on his shoulder. Sirius stopped immediately, but when he went to pull out Remus placed a hand on his hip. “No. Stay.”

A tingling sensation washed over Sirius when he registered Remus’ change in tone. His voice was lower, smoother, brooking no room for argument. “Are you alright?” he ventured.

The corners of Remus’ lips quirked up and in a smooth motion, he flipped them over so he was straddling Sirius’ hips and kneading his chest with the heels of his hands. “There we go,” he said, tilting his head to the side and jutting his chin at the angle Sirius knew as hold on tight.

And then he just kind of…stayed there.

Sirius relaxed into it, settling his hands on Remus’ hips as he ground down a bit. “You can move if you want,” he said after a moment.

Remus’ jaw ticked. “I’m trying.”

Oh, shit, is it me? Sirius took his hands away, but he hadn’t been gripping hard enough for there to be light marks, let alone stop Remus from moving. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, I can’t actually…” Remus’ nose scrunched up and his thighs clenched, then quaked and gave out. “I’m okay, but I think my legs are tired.”

“From the game? Are you kidding?” Sirius leaned back on the pillows and laughed, long and loud. “Oh, sweetheart.”

“Shut up!” Remus swatted his chest, though he was laughing as well. “I can do it, just give me a sec.”

Sirius wheezed as the pressure on his chest increased and batted at his wrists. “Nope, nope, you’re going to break me. We can go back to what we were doing before.”

“I can do this.”

“No, you can’t,” Sirius snickered.

Remus readjusted himself and tried again—he rose less than an inch before the trembling in his thigh muscles took hold and sank him back down. It felt fine and Sirius was glad for the closeness, but he knew it would feel better if Remus let him turn them over.

After a moment of hesitation, Remus stared up at the ceiling and burst out laughing again. “You’re right, I’m so sore right now, this is ridiculous.”

“Come here.” He slid off him with a slight wince and Sirius sat up against the headboard, holding his arms out. He closed his eyes with a contented hum as Remus kissed his forehead and snuggled into him. “I’m sorry you’re sore.”

“It was worth it.”

“Do you want to take a break?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling with you, but I was promised three orgasms tonight and I’m still so horny.”

“Oh, thank god, me too.” Sirius guided him back to the mattress by his shoulders and grabbed the lube from where it had been abandoned at the foot of the bed. He slicked up his dick again and stroked Remus a few times as well before pushing back in with steady pressure. “Still okay?”

“Hell yeah,” Remus sighed, reaching out to trail his thumb under Sirius’ eye. “It’s always good with you.”

Sirius turned to kiss the inside of his wrist. “You’re always good for me.”

“That was smooth.” Slender fingers traveled up and tucked a stray curl back into place. Sirius hadn’t even realized it was in the way until Remus moved it.

“You’re obsessed with my hair, aren’t you,” he said, sliding his hands down to scratch lightly at the sides of his thighs.

Remus shrugged, though his hold tightened minutely. “It’s soft and it’s pretty.”

Sirius dragged his lips down Remus’ forearm, kissed the crook of his elbow, and then continued along his bicep and shoulder. His summer freckles were tragically faded, but the salty tang of sweat and Remus was more than enough incentive for him to leave small love bites in his wake. “You’re soft and pretty.”

“Hmmm, okay.” He didn’t have to look up to know what Remus’ face would look like—eyes closed, sated smile, light lines of tension through his neck and upper chest. “I love the sound of your voice when you’re turned on.”

Sirius paused. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of like thu—huh.” Remus shifted his position at the same time Sirius leaned up to look at him; whatever he did, it must have been good, because his mouth fell open in surprise. “Thunder. Um. Hmm. Can you…?” Rather than telling Sirius what he wanted, he squirmed for a second, tilting his hips up and making small, frustrated noises.

“Hold on—hold on, Re, what are you trying to do?”

“You did something really good right then and I don’t remember what it was but I’m so fucking close.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Sirius blinked away some of his own sex-induced haziness and registered the slight tremor in his hands, as well as the glassy look in his eyes.

“Oh, okay. Hey, lay back and let me take care of it. Tonight is all about you.” He pulled Remus’ hands up to his back and pulled his leg up around his waist, tracing the muscle divots lightly.

What did I do before? Sirius thrusted in with slow, deep rolls while he thought. He had been leaning to the side a bit, and then Remus lifted up slightly…oh. Smug pride filled his veins as he kept one forearm firmly across Remus’ navel and brushed the other hand over the top of his dick.

“Yeah, that,” Remus said weakly as he stretched his arms over his head.

“This is it?” Sirius added a little extra pressure to his arm and his dick throbbed in response. “Good job, using your words.”

“Mmm.”

“How close are you now?” he asked, running his palm around the head until Remus’ legs jolted around him.

“So close,” he whispered. “C’mon, just a little more, pleasepleaseplease.”

“I love you, sweetheart,” Sirius said, sliding his hands beneath Remus’ lower back and propping him up an extra inch for the best angle. “Come for me.”

His harsh grip on the sheets relaxed as he came, eyelashes fluttering and mumbling under his breath. Remus didn’t fall apart or seize up, just melted into Sirius’ arms with a low moan. Sirius didn’t even realize his own orgasm was approaching until he heard his name on Remus’ kiss-swollen lips and the world vanished for a moment.

When he came back into himself, gentle fingers were running through his hair. “Sweetheart,” he said fondly. He pulled out nice and slow, but remained a boneless weight on top of Remus.

“Hey, handsome.” Remus’ voice was scratchy.

“Congratulations on your first goal.”

“I thought that was just for the face-off?”

[jiminrings]

hi hannah! i may have a request 🥺 i've been watching too much tiktok and this two made me want some jungkook skater au 😳 like the reader saw him and went like love at first sight so she purposely buys a skate and goes everyday to the skatepark and start learning just to impress that hot tattooed skater that kinda looks like a bad boy but he's actually a softie. ♡

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm5Huop/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm55usm/

late skate

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 7k

glimpse: jungkook would rather wash down his grip tape than spend another hour seeing you land on yOUR ass, a smitten y/n and love at first sight, and tae almost losing his bearings (in all aspects) <3 // gif is from pinterest :D

note: thank you so much for the request babie!!! also i’m sorry since i’ve done this a month late hee-hee bUT but it’s here now!!! fun fact: i used to skate but one time i fell on my ass so hard doing an ollie that i quit ( ˙-˙ )

there is nothing

there is absolutely nothing you hate more than walking home alone and at-

wait u need to shudder

night

times like these make you both angry and scared because fIRST of all

you’re angry because if oNLY (you’re still hoping that u win the lottery soon) you were born to wealth and ease (if you see park jimin one more time in a billboard you’re about to lose it), you wouldn’t have to worry!! or even work for that matter!!!!

you could have a car by now!!!

but you don’t have a car and you’re still saving up for that because you have to keep up with your bills and this nice and decent apartment that you’re living in right now

well if you’re being honest, you are splitting it with yoongi and that cuts back your expenses significantly but that’s besides the point

which is why you’re being extra thrifty!! save up all the money that you could so you could by yourself a car amongst other financial decisions and nOT be scared shitless when walking home

you’re working at the animal shelter most of the time and it’s very fulfilling because of cOURSE!! your job is to care for animals and give them a better chance at everything :D

the pay is more than decent but it’s not the highest sO what you do on your spare time is pick up any job you could!!

and the income that you need is more and more than decent because taking care of chimmy is not an easy feat

chimmy, your alaskan malamute!!! he’s the first puppy you’ve properly taken care of in the shelter and you’ve fallen head over heels for him

he kept bumping into the wall when he scrambles after you call for him but eH you love the clumsy giant still!!

so much so that you file your adoption form for him and run over to mr. kim’s office hurriedly :D

your boss seokjin’s pretty sweet after all but at the same time he’s intimidating!! too sweet and intimidating at the same time that when he approves your form without much question, you almost kiss his cheek

...

.... hehe

jin beat you to it and instead he gave you a side-hug with a very strict warning to take care of chimmy and provide everything that he needs

he eats 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓊𝓂 dog food and you could only assume the amount that he needs because of how he towers

the treats?? one time yoongi got overly-excited to take a picture of him and accidentally left the bag on the ground, and when he came back?? chimmy’s managed to inhale all of them

thankfully he’s only loyal to one (1) toy and it’s to this brown angry... entity..? with one tooth that yoongi’s made by himself

but he constantly has to replace the stuffing because chimmy nOTICES when it’s flat and unstuffed from his own doings

hehehe the grooming.....

you thank your lucky stars that jin gives you a discount to have chimmy groomed!! 

one time you were about to have a breakdown because a $100 grooming session simply didn’t click well with your ongoing budget and you decided to do it yourself :D

spoiler alert: chimmy kept barking at you when you held up the mirror to his face because wOOF did you just... d-did you give him bangs.... how was that possible....

and then sECOND of all is that well.,.,.,

you’re scared and that’s it

there is every possible reason for you to be scared :D

you get off from work at 5!! but now it’s quarter to 8 and you totally should’ve booked an uber but it completely slipped your mind

normally, you wouldn’t walk home alone though because chimmy comes with you to the shelter, and then he serves as a therapy dog of sorts to help ease and calm down the new rescues!!

he even has his own little ID oh my god :’)

but he doesn’t come in everyday and well you remember,.,.

no actually, yoongi REMINDS you that today is his day-off at work and explictly implied that he’d very much love to cuddle with a giant alaskan malamute as he gets his well-deserved rest

and yoongs has been the reason to why you don’t unravel every single day and you owe him for your life so yea okay you can have chimmy whenever you need this giant pillow of support <3

but no

no 

you don’t have chimmy with you and you don’t have anyone to bark and be willing to growl n intimidate any creepy dudes you could possibly encounter on this twenty-minute walk home

the extra coffee you’ve drank at 6 in lieu of dinner does not help at ALL

what if you just... run

that way you get home faster and you won’t have to be that antsy!!!

ok maybe just a light jog would do

you wanna go home so badly and take a shower and be sandwiched between your warm sheets and sleep all the way

you miss chimmy and yoongi and you just hOPE that he’d already cooked dinner and you won’t have processed food again for the third time in a week

and after dinner maybE you could treat yourself to online shopping because yoongs has also been pestering you to let yourself indulge once in a while

your thoughts are jumbled once panicked and it reminds you that yes you should definitely get a car and you know what??? you probably should-

wait fUCK

...

....

oh

wait

hold on a second

did you just manage to narrowly dodge what seems to be a skateboard in mid-air??????

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

said taehyung is jumping down and crouching to pick up the deck at your feet and squeaks an “oop sorry ‘bout that!!” before going back and

well...

mr. “taehyung, you dumbass!!” is who you presume to be the speaker,, because well no one eLSE is in this skatepark at 9 in the evening,,,, is standing RIGHT underneath the light and is right at your line of sight

it’s as if the clouds are opening up and chimmy’s barking could be heard and everything you deem perfect is ringing right in your ears because god.... holy shit.....

he looks and probably feels like a warm-sized bed that smells of baby powder and fresh linen

he has a hoodie on with the sleeves scrunched up and you tHANK yourself that you’ve saved up enough to get lasik eye surgery because those tattoos...,.,. you r positive that they would be your demise

mr. TYD has a loose bucket hat on yet you could still see his features clearly and you aren’t lying when you say he is perhaps the most breathtaking thing you’d ever seen

even more breathtaking than seeing chimmy in the laundry room and having fished for your one good perfect bra in his mouth

oh

huh

you’re pretty sure this is what love at first sight must feel like

suddenly, you aren’t anxious at all and you’re instantly gravitating towards the ramp without much complaint

there’s a bench conveniently placed in which you could see him but he won’t see you

you find yourself sticking around and smiling when you see him goofing around in all good fun

hopefully you don’t look like a cREEP because you swear you aren’t!!!! and hopefully they don’t notice you either and find out then and there that you’re here in a skatepark withOut a skateboard,,, just sitting,,, to see him

this may not be your best idea yet lmao yes you’re gonna admit that

but it’s probably the first and last time that you’re ever gonna see him so might as well watch him for awhile!! that’s all!!!!

ok wait

this is definitely a bad idea because yoongi calls you and you forgOt to put it on silent and it’s his voice that greets you very rudely as soon as you pick up

“y/n where the FUCK are you???”

oh lmao it’s quarter to 10 already

“jeez, i’m coming home!! calm down!!”

“yeah tell that to chimmy who’s been worried sick with me and won’t stop hOWLING!!!”

you’re scrambling to gather your duffel and sneak oNE last look at him and ur practically pouting as you say goodbye to him under your breath 

:((

“... aw, you worry about me?”

you resume back to jogging on your way home and this time for rEAL

you’re gonna miss him

he’s like one of the random dudes you see in the mall that are sO breathtaking and you know you’re never gonna see them again

you didn’t even manage to catch his name :((

but whoever he is, he feels a little more different than a dude in a mall because this time, you feel like you’re gonna cRY at the thought of it

little did you know that jungkook could see you all this time and he’s sad to see you go 

:D

chimmy is the first to leap at you as soon as you come through the door

and if you didn’t anticipate the giant, then you’d probably be toppled over by now

yoongi finds it weird that there’s this lingering gentle smile on your face

well he shouldn’t be so shOcked because he sees you talking to yourself when you’re watching documentaries and cooking

(( he always checks if there’s a camera hidden somewhere in the kitchen and you were vlogging or something but nO!!! ))

it’s like you’re a third-grader again that goes fERAL at just the thought of their crush

you hope mr. tyd has already eaten breakfast and hasn’t had any injuries with his skateboarding

you’re trying to rationalize with yourself that it’s just a stOOpid and pathetic crush to harbor in less than a day and stop thinking about him

the universe must seem to hate aND love you at the same time because well would you look at tHAT

it’s 5 in the afternoon and you have chimmy beside you and you’re walking home

and that’s practically your routine ever since you’ve gotten this job

it would only differ if a situation like last night happens or when you’re too tired to walk home oR when it’s raining

but right now it’s your normal workday, and you’re walking home, and it’s sunny, aND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU’VE SEEN HIM

this is also the first time that you’ve seen him in such a situation that you didn’t expect :O

the fact that you’ve mayhaps watched kimi no nawa last night with yoongi and perhaps 98 times before that, does not help at all

“you uh, y-you wanna go for a run on the grass, chim??”

there’s this mini field besides the skatepark and chimmy happily jUMPS at the mention of grass :D

aha oh well :D would you look at that :D your dog wants to go run on the grass that’s a couple feet away from the skatepark :D who are you to stop him anyways?? :D

chimmy’s more than happy to comply with your wish and vice versa because he’s having the time of his life clearly

he’s your pawman and the perfect variable so you wouldn’t seem like a third-grader with a helpless crush on anOther third-grader

it seems that hE’S more excited than you though because chimmy runs to the ramp instead of the grass!!!

and in the process he goes UP to greet a guy like he does with you whenever you come home!!! it’s harmless pouncing per se

but it’s not entirely harmless because it feels like chimmy knows EXACTLY what’s in your mind and what he’s doing

“chimmy!!!”

.....

...... of course

chimmy has to of cOurse pounce on him

jungkook wasn’t surely expecting a giant and overly-friendly alaskan malamute to pounce on him right when he was about to drop-in

it’s a pleasant surprise either because it’s-

wait

oh my god

is this yOU?????

listen.,.

jungkook was in the skatepark last night with taehyung and they took advantage of it because they were the only ones there!!

tae surely wasn’t kidding when he said that he was a novice because holy sHIT how was it possible that he sent a skateboard flying mid-air after a failed trick??

kook flinches when he follows it in his line of sight and notices that there’s someone down there who might be literally dECKED out of tae’s stupidity

he’s about to yell for this passer-by to dodge and-

time seems to move quicker because you’re already stopping yourself and flinching in place and then looking up

you’re rIGHT underneath this street lamp and jungkook sighs a breath of relief when he realized that you weren’t hit

but at the same time he’s gasping again because wow

t-that’s uhm-

okay

wHEW he has never felt this pressure in his chest ever since he joined a quizbee in 8th grade

would it be-

ok nevermind

WOULD IT BE TOO FORWARD FOR HIM TO SAY THAT HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU ALREADY

you’re really beautiful??? and frankly he has to look away for a second because you’re tOO beautiful that he doesn’t know what to do with himself

that’s it u are under arrest for being too pretty >:(

jungkook’s flustered because there’s just these types of people that put a knot on his chest unknowingly and he doesn’t know how to act normally

you are the equivalent of him not being able to look at the screen because the kdrama was that good and he feels unworthy to even watch it

it’s goosebumps all over his skin and he’d be lying when he says his cheeks are not heating up at aLL

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

his first instinct is to scold taehyung because what iF he ended up hurting you with his skateboard, hmm?? and tHEN what

he expected you to leave after that close-call and if everyone must know, jungkook has an incredible talent at being able to scope out things in his peripheral vision

he could look straight ahead and be able to see what you were also doing at the side

he doesn’t know if that’s a talent or uH everyone has it but whatever he can do that!!!

and you were clearly still there and in fact, even sIT down on the bench

he could see you smiling and giggling and a ginormous part of him assumes that it’s because of him

he prays to god that it’s NOT the guy who almost decked you with a skateboard ://

jungkook was acting weird and he kept smiling and laughing mORE than necessary and taehyung can see right through him

“bro all i did was walk towards you wtf are you laughing,,.,”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHHA tae you’re so silly XD”

alrighty then,, maybe jungkook just binge-ate his vitamin gummies which is why he keeps beaming for an unknown reason

koo was so grumpy literally just before he had his skateboard flying and now he’s ???? weird

jungkook was ultimately sad to see you get up and he knows he’s probably never gonna see you again ok alright time to mope

but this

this

he’s beyond surprised to see that said owner of giant dog happens to be yOU!! of all the people!!!!

it’s you!

“i’m so so sorry about him!! he’s just excited to make friends with everyone and i don’t have the sLIGHTEST clue why he came to you!!”

you pointedly look at chimmy and he has the audacity to howl before looking away

it hasn’t dawned on you that you’re talking and apologizing to him but it certainly did on jungkook which is why he’s charmingly laughing already

“no, no. it’s okay, i don’t mind!! his name’s chimmy, then?”

you’re blinking profusely because yes.. right.. HE is talking to you

“yeah, uh, correct!! his name’s chimmy :)”

“that’s cute. anyways, i’m jungkook :)”

aha :D

koo would like to think that he is smooth

and yes you agree

you immediately shake his hand tOO eagerly with a smile on your face as you’re trying to take this all in

“i’m y/n :)”

jungkook’s hand is bigger than yours and your hand fits sNUGLY right into his hold

he has some tattoos on his hands and there’s some peaking from underneath his hoodie

but even with ur lasik vision you cAN’T focus because omg are you seriously holding jungkook’s hand.,.,

jungkook as in THEE jungkook that you’ve immediately clocked and crushed on last night in an instant

your lil moment of just holding each other’s hands is interrupted when taehyung pops out of nOwhere

(( actually he’s been there for the past two minutes and he kept switching between cooing and laughing ))

“yO i’m taehyung!!! you must be y/n, i didn’t nick you last night, did i?”

he takes it upon himself to hug you right then and there

well he’s warm and he passes the internal vibe check yoongi’s hotwired into your brain so you reciprocate!! you like hugs anyway and taehyung’s just like chimmy but in human form

jungkook practically squawks and stammers in his place because w-why.. w-what...... no

chimmy bARKS at taehyung and koo is tempted to do the same too because no man you simply do nOt hug my crush that you know absolutely nothing about

“he’s asking for you.”

kook points to chimmy who’s obviously pouncing on you to come run with him

you excuse yourself so you could go satisfy the giant and jungkook felt like his heart was gonna fall out of his aSS

tae wiggles his eyebrows and has his lips pursed and it’s the shit-eating grin that he immediately flips off as soon as he sees it

“what was that all about?”

you are convinced

you are 100% convinced

your head is fully-set into the game and in no way are you gonna back out

“min yoongi!!”

ah there it is

yoongi’s having the time of his life playing fetch with chimmy! what could possibly be any more important in this world than that

“what did i do now?”

you only call out his full name when a) you’re agitated and when b) he’s ignoring you and you’ve had enough of it

he really doesn’t recall giving you the cold shoulder recently

and he certainly didn’t agitated you when all he’s done is play with chimmy and sleep!!!

“please click this for me pls. click. please. pls click.”

aH yoongi should’ve brought his glasses instead of leaving them on the couch

you’re holding out your laptop to him with your arms outstretched and he has to come really close to decipher and-

... huh

“a skateboard?”

pardon him but he’s really lost on this one ok

he is as lost as he was when walmart decided to completely rearrange the whole store

“... and what do you need a skateboard for? y/n when i said that you should get yourself a four-wheeler, i didn’t mean a skateboard-”

in what part does a skateboard look like an SUV

whY are you like this

“it’s for uh... it’s for fun purposes!!”

you’re trying not to raise any more questions in yoongi’s mind but his head is miles miles away now lol

???? you hate trying new things though ???

one time you traded in your beef ramen for pork ramen because the first one was out of stock and throughout the whole meal you kept thinking how much you regretted it

and besides, skateboarding would be the last thing you’d get into!!!

yoongi distinctly remembers that you’d rather choke on chewing gum rather than get your knees scraped

why was that?? because when your knees get scraped, walking and doing everything else?? impossible 

nice try sherlock but the moment you do so much as to not stand up straight?? sIT down?? yeah your knees would give out 

what has got to be something so special that you’d wanna get into skateboarding and risk yourself into getting your knees scraped??

....

....

omg is that what he thinks it is

“... it’s a crush, isn’t it?”

the way you instantly shut him down and practically have to beg him just to press the check out button.,..

aha 

yeah yoongi’s gotten his answer alright :D

whatever this is

or whatever that’s going on

you’re sure that you’ve never felt this content for a long time

you now bring a change of clothes so you wouldn’t go skating in your uniform because that just honestly sucks

you may be too tired to walk to the skatepark which is why sometimes you’d book a ride, but no you’re never tOO tired to skate and see jungkook :D

it’s frustrating enough as it is

yoongi used to skate and that’s the reason why you’ve found this shortcut in the first place because this was where the park was!! you’d always think at the back of your head on wHY was yoongi struggling!!!

smh that’s so easy yoongs </3

joke’s on you now though because trying to balance on the board in the first place scared you shitless because hOW were you supposed to do this??

you can ride a bike and that has tWO wheels and this has fOUR bearings!!! how come you can’t balance yourself??

even managing to stand up on the board without panicking for more than ten seconds AND managing to shift from left to right even if it’s albeit shaky at first, took you a wHOLE evening

but you’re so proud of yourself and so is jungkook :D

jungkook finds it the highlight of his night when you’d hold onto him

yes he knOws you have it under control now and you barely hold onto him for support

“just so you won’t fall, that’s all.”

he always evades your eyes when you go look up at him dreamily like that because how could he not???

you’ve covered the basics of pushing yourself then simultaneously riding the skateboard!!

you do that for one WHOLE week and both jungkook and tae (and yoongi) think it’s time that you do something else besides skate in one straight line and occasionally to a left and a right

ok you’re kind of scared shitless because you already fell a couple of times but y’know what?? it’s time!!

society has progressed past the need of you skating in a straight path

the society NEEDS you to do tricks now

.....

........

confession time:

dear diary the kickflip is simply not kicking the board in an attempt to flip it by itself. it is not. it is not as easy as it sounds. it is the bane of my existence

it’s evident that you’re stalling out of your way with this one but you just need oNE success and that’s it!!! one win to woo jungkook from his feet and then you’d stop

tae has already shut you up too because you keep talking about how your day went when you already is set four times before that

and it must’ve been a lucky first time because you absolutely nAIL it on the first try!!!

you honestly thought you’d land square on your ass and see bruises on it later in the shower but N-O!! you’ve done it perfectly and-

jungkook’s not looking

he didn’t see your feat!!

or maybe he didn’t see it because he chosE not to!!!

OR

maybe doing a kickflip is nothing impressive and it’s obvious that he’s a pro at this compared to you who’s even more of a novice that makes taehyung look like a god

you can’t have that :((

ok ok hOW can you impress jungkook

there must be something you could do to impress him!!

omg

that’s it

this is practically perfect!!

you’re gonna do your first drop-in at a pipe that is nowhere gOOD for a beginner like you :D

one, two, th-

“easy, doll.”

jungkook materializes out of nowhere and you expected him to be skating at the far end!! not mere inches away from your face holding your hANDS

this is the first time you’ve seen jungkook actually this close and you just have this urge to kiss his cheek

he has you whipped for him and he hasn’t even done anything to you!!!

“not the best idea to go down an eight-foot tall half-pipe for your first time, hm?”

he scrunches his nose at your absurd thoughts because absolutely wHY would you do that??

how could you fall in love with him even mORE

“do the two-feet tall one first. go have taehyung teach you.”

the grin in your face goes as fast as it came

no offense to taehyung but he’s not the one your head-over-heels for :((

practically everyone knows about your crush on jungkook BESIDES jungkook himself

you’re tapping tae on the shoulder to come and teach you while you just watch kook shred it at the other side of the park by himself

it’s okay!! progress is progress and you’re gonna get far with jungkook!!

going to the skatepark right after work is now your new routine

sometimes you even come with yoongi when he’s free and he takes all his time to gloat on how you used to make fun of him when he was skating avidly back then

that gives you a grand total of three (3) people teaching you how to skate and giving you pointers

jungkook also now holds conversation from time to time :D

he’d ask you how your day went and you’d have to pretend that you didn’t wait for him to ask so you’re not spilling detail after detail

he now does this thing of pinching your cHEEK when you get something right 

your heart after doing an ollie goes bEEP when he pinches your cheek and tells you eagerly that you did such a good job

yoongi’s laid off his teasing for you and jungkook but god he can’t deny that he gets these weird vibes from him

eh it’s probably nothing

today you’re especially excited because it was an outfit that you just bought and you feel gREAT in it!!!

tbh your day was the absolute worst but jungkook is always a great pick-me-up to whatever day you could have :)

a tennis skirt with shorts already built underneath is the greatest save of ur life

it’s a little on the more expensive side because it IS a name-brand and those don’t come cheap but it’s ok :D it’s gonna be worth it :D it better be :D

oh uhm

jungkook seems different today.... ?

you were used to him looking intimidating and mad even if he wasn’t, but this time it just felt emphasized even more

taehyung’s here but he’s not the only one!!! there’s two guys with jungkook on the other side of the ramp

“those are his friends, i guess?? i don’t know, he hasn’t introduced them to me.”

so you’re nOT the only one who’s lost

jungkook will probably come around later and you could all hang out again :))

chimmy happily chuffs at your side and that just gives taehyung the most wonderful idea he’s ever had this day

“hEY which one of us do you think could out-skate chimmy???”

jungkook is utterly and without a doubt stressed 

he knew that hoseok and namjoon would come over, but he didn’t expect that they’d visit him while he was in the park!!!!

and he already knows what they’re here for and that just makes him grimace :((

“why don’t you want to go pro?”

koo’s ears feel like bleeding when hobi asks him that for the nth time

god it’s always just the sAME question!! he could practically sniff the air on what they’re gonna say next

“jungkook, i think we all know that you’re more than qualified to be a pro!! look at you!!”

it’s the same conversation over and over again

the next things they’d say are that he’s a natural and he’s wasting all his talent doing this thing cASUALLY

he’s not the next tony hawk or anything like that!!! he’s not gonna book a sponsorship and a collaboration with vans!!! but hobi and joon kEEP insisting that he’s that good

“hyung, i think we’ve already talked about this-...”

“yes and you refusE to listen!! why can’t you just accept the fact that you have a much better future in this??”

jungkook’s currently a freelance graphic designer which means he works from home and he’s in charge of his oWN schedule

but it doesn’t necessarily mean that every single day he gets a new commission or anything grand like that

he’s gonna be honest and say that yES he has thought of being a pro skater!! but he’s trying to be as rational as possible about it

because not every competition would be a win and not competitions don’t happen as frequent as a typical job is!!

and what iF jungkook gets injured?? something of an injury that would lay him off from skating 

and being unable to skate??? = he basically gets nOTHING

he feels pressures because hobi and joon are pro skaters already!! and that gives them all the more reason to make jungkook into one

not to flex but uh they’re both quite already kNOWN

and jungkook hasn’t even started his pro career but he’s already known!!! both by his skills and the fact that he’s friends with these two champions

“i literally do not care if you beat me!! just come take the leap and be a pRO already, jungkook!!! it’s a loss as it is that you still consider yourself an amateur.”

their words, not his 

ok uhm what if

what if jungkook opens a skate clinic?? he can do what he loves and in the same time, earn money!!

... yeah

okay! 

that could work!! and if he feels extra prepared, then yeah maybe he’d be a pro

or would a skate clinic be useless if he isn’t a pro by then???

oh my god

jungkook’s so frustrated with all this sudden bombarding and it makes him want to tug at his hair

as much as he loves his hyungs, sometimes they just can’t seem to know when to back oFF and realize that their nudging is more like shoving

“do something productive and worth your time, jungkook. stop babysitting.”

namjoon says with an edge and that tames jungkook

what makes it worse was what they were implying in the first place

hoseok doesn’t make it discreet to look at taehyung and you

“tae, tae, look!! i’m doing it, i’m doing it!!”

you’re saying over your shoulder because omg you’re getting the lead and chimmy’s slowed down for some reason

well actually taehyung’s took it upon himself to stop behind you

“guys?”

you get an immediate answer when you feel someone effectively hALT you still and you almost fall on your ass just by the sheer strength of someone holding you up

jungkook’s holding you down and his hands are quite heAVy on your arms

there’s this unexplainable look on his face but you’re positive that it’s not one of happiness

“you should probably stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing.”

oh

to be honest you’re unsure of how to react

but the way that jungkook looks like he’s mad at you and retreats back to those two guys with a scoff in his step -- 

it’s enough

it’s truly enough for you to reevaluate every decision you’ve ever made

maybe it’s simply not just a bad day for you and a case of overthinking thigs,, and it’s perhaps the fact that he want you to stop

stop whatever that is happening

you probably must be frozen in place because chimmy bounds and pounces at you

you probably must’ve looked like an utter fool,, skating in a tennis skirt and trying to outrace a damn dog in a fucking skatepark,, right in front of jungkook and his friends

“y/n, you uh, y’okay?”

tae’s worried because there’s an instant shift to your mood and he could only assume what you were feeling

tears prick at the back of your eyes and that’s the signal for you to gather your things in a flash because the last thing you’d want is to cRY in front of him

“y-yeah! i’m gonna go home, tae. chimmy’s looking for yoongi.”

the dog in question tilts his head because w hat now,,,.,., wha t,.,. he is???

you learned that dogs could smell emotions and that makes you even sadder

chimmy was behaved the whole time; didn’t even try straying you around when he keeps seeing umbrellas on the street even if he loves them

you’re okay

:)

you should be okay

....

there’s something definitely off

yoongi’s cleaned everything and did his share of chores

the tv is still mounted and the microwave’s clean!!

chimmy didn’t have a toilet accident because if he did, he would’ve already picked it up

there’s definitely something off with yOU

because first of all, why are you here???

“not coming to the park?”

if he can recall correctly, no matter how knackered you were after work, you’d still go to the skatepark!!

... not unless you were injured??

nah because if you were injured then you’d be whining to him now

“nope :)”

you’re lying on the couch where he usually lies nowadays because you weren’t around!!

and you’re drinking from your mug that he’s claimed as his mug

and chimmy’s squished in between the tiny gap of you and the far edge of the couch

“and why?”

he’s always had answers for everything but his mind’s bLANK for this

“wanna spend time with you guys :)”

oh

okay

that’s gotta be the answer, right???

this is definitely weird

for starters, it’s already 11 PM and jungkook’s still in the skatepark and he’s not even skating anymore

he’s just waiting

weird... you aren’t here.......

aH it’s nothing :D you’re probably just tired and didn’t want to go skate

oh and.. you’re not here the next day

or the next

or the nEXT

jungkook spends almost the entirety of his time in the park

he goes there at 3 in the afternoon and comes home at 11 in the evening

no big deal

half of the time is just spent him actually skating and the other is figuring out wHERE you are

uh maybe you’ve started to take ubers now every time you come home??

you’re not walking home anymore and the car would pass by the skatepark and jungkook wouldn’t have a single clue where you are

it’s also this time that it dawns on him that he has no means whatsoever to contact you

he didn’t ask for your number and didn’t exchange socials so he could only gUESS

he can’t come over to your apartment either because he hasn’t walked you home and therefore he wouldn’t know your address

holy shit he’s so dumb and jungkook misses you a lot

like a whole whole lot

he misses you holding onto his shoulders for support and misses your excited grin whenever you nail a trick and had a perfect run

there’s nothing that jungkook could dO besides wait

and miss you so much

and mope

kook doesn’t want to give up and miss a day because what iF you pass by when he’s not there???

he can’t have that and he wON’t have that

he’s just so antsy and he hasn’t had his fix of chimmy bounding towards him and the malamute intentionally pouncing on him whenever he’d drop-in so he could lose his balance

he just needs to see you and your duffel bag and the precious yet beat-up wristwatch you have and-

WAIT

THAT’S YOU!!!

jungkook’s brought his perfume the past few days because he wouldn’t want to be aND smell sweaty when he sees you again

he’s wearing a shirt this time and nOT a hoodie and it’s actually a nice shirt!! the pale orange makes his tattoos pop

he’s also wearing a watch so he could look business-ish and composed and he kinda hATES watches because uhhhh you ever heard of a phone, buddy??

you’re walking striaght and paying no mind at all and to your surrounding and-

there’s suddenly this cRASH in front of you and it makes you recall in response because that came out of nowhere

... and this feels oddly familiar

only this time though, it’s intentional and it’s jungkook who literally tHREW his skateboard down on the spot in front of you

“y/n? wow, what a coincidence!”

you didn’t expect to see jungkook as soOn as you anticipated that he wouldn’t be here

he laughs nervously and he tries not to overanalyze the fact that your face is blank

:|

“yup. totally.”

you’re avoiding his gaze and meanwhile he’s searching desperately for yours 

what is he feeling and why is it hurt and longing at the same time

“can i walk you home?”

the words tumble out of his mouth before he could even ponder over them longer

“i uh, i rEALLY can’t believe i never asked to walk you home!! or even ask for your number!!! but uHhhh it’s late at night and to be honest i don’t have your number and i just need to know that you’re safe and-”

he stops his rambling right there because he realizes that he’s a stuttering nervous mess

you’re a bit speechless because normally you’re the chatty one but this one.,.,,. this one’s a pleasant surprise

“yeah, yeah. okay :)”

he can’t believe either that you agreed to it but he’s immediately gathering himself and swoops your duffel for him to hold

he’s not gonna entertain a single complaint <3

it’s not exactly the most tensioned silence ever but it’s definitely nOT comfortable

“why didn’t you come to the park?”

okay well sHIT you didn’t expect him to be this straightforward

wait no 

you shouldn’t be surprised!! after all, he probably did mean what he said the last time you’ve seen him

what are u gonna say now

well you coulD say that you’re busy and he’d probably fall for it!!

or reiterate the truth that he’s implied and say it with a straight face

“oh. i started intentionally falling on my ass because i missed you,” jungkook spills out of nowhere while waiting for your answer and he now realizes that might’ve been a little awkward

after all he dID admit that he missed you

ahem

“did i uhm... did i say something?”

he rephrases his question and he knows that this was the more appropriate one

your coping mechanism is to kick on the ground as if there were leaves and there are absolutely nO leaves <3

“jungkook, you told me to stop.”

he blinks rapidly at that as he tries to digest your words

he’s trying to backtrack as much as possible and it wasn’t that!!

he simply doesn’t wanna see you hurt

“i can’t explain it but holy shiT i can’t see you hurt!! a-and i know that being hurt in skating is normal but for sOME reason i can’t stand it when i see you in pain o-or-...”

jungkook just can’t explaiN what he feels

“i just -- i just don’t gEt why you’d want to be hurt?? whY are you doing this to yourself??”

you find him ridiculous and this whole situation is just rIDICULOUS

“jesus christ jungkook i did it to try and impress a guy!!”

that earns you a snort and you immediately go defensive

he seems irked and his eyes are just beGGING to be rolled

“who?? taehyung?? the guy who would’ve wiped you out if he did end up hitting you on the head with the deck just a little harder??”

“what? taehyung???” you’re so confused and jungkook hates it even more, “yeah, taehyung!!”

“i like you, jungkook!”

o-oh

uhm

a.....ha

“me?”

he points to himself to which you eagerly nod your head to

“can you excuse me for one second?”

he barely gives you the time to respond because he’s already walking away and biting his arm

he’s actually sCREAMING

you throw your head back because omg did the two of you just basically admit that you liked each other

jungkook jogs back to where you stand a presses a hefty kISS right on your cheek

he’s on too much of a high that he holds your hand and practically drags you along with him because he’s almost skIPPING from how happy he is

“okay. good. nice. very good!!!” he could now sigh in relief because whEW that robbed him off his breath

“because i fell for you when i first saw you.”

jungkook basically has nO filter now and it’s adorable because god he’s just so soft and you now know what’s going and this wouldn’t be just whatever

“huh. imagine if yOU fell for me too at the same time,,,, that would make me piss my pants.”

he cackles because wow he dO be funny :D

he’s turning to look at you to gauge at your reaction and the waY that you’re holding your eye contact with him is all-telling for your answer

oh my god

jungkook is wrapped around your pinky :’)

[lumin3xe]

Hq Characters and how they play Genshin Impact!

Love letter 💌: omg hey! So I’ve been obsessed with genshin impact and aswell haikyu so my sexy small brain though ‘what if the hq character played genshin impact?’ And here we are!

Characters: Dachi Sawamura, Koshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Chickara Ennoshita, Yu Nishinnoya and Ryūnosuke Tanaka

(Will this become a series? Maybe 👀)

slighty edited and fluff!

˚ ↠ Dachi Sawamura ↞ ˚

˚ He plays sometimes, mostly with the other third years, he does play with the team tho!

˚ He probably plays it in his free time and if he feels like it

˚ Does he have a strategy? He kinda just plays it, really good on maining on a certain character 🥴🥴 (dw I’ll share it later HAHHSH—)

˚ Is he good? Yeah I like to think so! since he doesn’t play often he doesn’t really practice or grind but If he tried he could be a really powerful player.

˚ He does try to do his daily commissions but he mostly forgets it 🧍(someone has to remind him hehe, he’ll be like “oh shoot yeah— give me a minute” but he won’t play it when he’s practicing volleyball or doing hw or smt)

˚ A lot of Mora and Primogems— he knows how to wish but he just doesn’t do it often LMAO—

˚ One time he got a five star character on his first wish and asked ‘are they good?’

˚ Never has spent money on the game no, he was tempted but he’s like nah.

˚ I feel like he would have Jean and main her well.

˚ his team would be, Jean, Kaeya, Xiangling, and probably Aether (male traveler)

˚ ↠ Koshi Sugawara ↞ ˚

˚ He plays in his free time and sometimes during volleyball practice, plays mostly with the other third years and ofc plays with the rest of the team 😌😌

˚ Hmm I feel like he would try to have a strategy? Maybe when against a boss battle or smt, he looks up how to play certain characters and where to get a certain items, y’know just regular player tbh

˚ He’s an average player—nothing much. sometimes screams when one of his characters dies HSHSHD

˚ Does his daily commissions if he has time too, doesn’t mind if he misses or forgets them (but will be like “oh whoops, I’ll do them later haha” or something of the lines of that lol)

˚ Has more mora than primogems, he knows how to wishes and does it once or twice but sometimes when he‘s bored he kinda wishes alot and wastes his primogems LMAO-

˚ Same as Dachi, never spent money on the game...is what he says HAHSGH

˚ Funny thing is that he got pity once and got Ganyu IAJHAJAJW

˚ Hmm I could see him main Sucrose! tbh he really wants Albedo omg HAHA-

˚ His team is Sucrose, Ganyu, Yanfi, and Xingqiu

˚ ↠Asahi Azumane ↞ ˚

˚ To me Asahi would really like the game and try’s to play as much as he can but he feels like he would get made fun of poor asahi omg🥺Again he mostly plays with the third years and with the team 🥰🥰

˚ Yeah he would have a strategy, and he would be a good player! ( he would have a good strategy too omg)

˚ He would probably be the most best player besides someone else 👀

˚ You guessed it- he actually does his daily commissions! He either does it when he wakes up for school or when classes are done hehe ☺️☺️

˚ Decent amount of Mora and Primogems! He saves them up for new characters but he’s really tempted to just use them in a day LMAO-

˚ I don’t think he would no🧍

˚ Since he’s such a sweetheart, I feel like he would main Noelle! Her background almost made him cry but SHHHH

˚ His team would be Noelle, Barbara, Diluc and Keqing

˚ Wtf he has so many characters??? Like huh?? And he knows how to use them?? Wtf 😭😭

˚ ↠Chikara Ennoshita ↞ ˚

˚Since I don’t know much about his character—I might be OOC so pls bear with me YVGFGDRD—

˚ He plays when he’s bored, maybe when he’s walking in the halls or during volleyball practice breaks. He mostly plays with the second years and aswell the whole team!

˚ No he doesn’t 🧍HAHAHSHS— hmm he looks up strategy’s, play certain characters and etc etc but he doesn’t really do anything

˚ For some reason yeah he actually does his commissions but like,, its creepy weird LMAO?? IDK HAHSH—

˚Same as Asahi, decent amount of mora and primogems lmao, doesn’t use it often tbh, wishes once or twice, somehow gets five stars often???

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t, if he really wanted a character tho? Yeah he would.

˚ Hmm he probably mains Aether (male traveler) or a five star character rlly good, like maybe even insanely good?

˚ His team would be Aether, Chongyun, Tartaglia, and Diona

˚ Yes he got Tartaglia HAHSHHS—

˚ ↠ Yu Nishinoya ↞ ˚

˚ This dude plays all the time I BET AGAHAHA (Passing time during class, volleyball practice breaks, during the halls etc etc!! Like I swear HAHA—)

˚ He plays a lot with Tanaka! And like try’s to play with everyone else on a regular, he wants to get better at the game and likes to grind/practice a lot on the game!

˚ Is he good tho? Hmm that’s up to you really!

˚tbh his strategy is too smash the buttons— IM KIDDING IM KIDDING HAHHS— I feel like he knows what he’s doing? But like not really 🧍but he’s trying!!

˚ Tho it’s really cute when he wins a battle with a huge boss 🥺🥺(Tanaka hypes him UPP—)

˚ He does like two of his daily commissions and forgets about it— he thinks he’s done them but no LMAO—

˚ A lot of Mora but literally no Primogems— he has like 40 or 60 but his boy Tanaka helps him save them up!!

˚ As much as he wants to spend money on the game, he doesn’t, he wants to get his Primogems fair and square.

˚ He mains Lisa. HSHSHSH— tho in all seriousness he’s really good at maining electro characters!! Like for example he really likes Fichel! He thinks she’s cool 😎😎

˚ Part of him actually believes her story’s HAHA

˚ His team is Lisa, Razor, Fischl and Keqing

˚ Tanaka was nice enough to gift Keqing to noya 🥺🥺

˚ ↠ Ryūnosuke Tanaka ↞ ˚

˚ Like Noya he plays alot! But little less more than him lmao

˚ Knows a little bit of what he’s doing, but just the same with noya but with a little knowledge :)) he’s not bad tho

˚ Yo ngl when noya and Tanaka co-op, there kinda insanely good 😳😳

˚ Talking about co-op they like to call eachother and do boss battles together and it’s like so wholesome?? (Ignore the screaming tho HAHA-)

˚ Surprisingly he does his daily commissions! He try’s to remind noya while he’s at it but kinda forgets lmao

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t due to noya (fair and square my dude)

˚ Hmm decent amount but not a lot of Mora and Primogems, but he gets characters!! He gets a lot of four stars but somehow he’s good at maining them!

˚ My guess he mains Rosiaro! He thinks she’s pretty— pretty cool! (Shhhh, you didn’t see that)

˚ He also thinks Fichel is cool too, and yes, he believes the story’s she tells.

˚His team would be Rosiaro, Lisa, female traveler (Lumie) and Beidou

HOLY SHIT—THAT TOOK A LOT OF BRAIN POWER TO CONTINUE THIS— YES I KNOW IM WEAK STFU SJSBJAHAH— ANYsways,, I hope you enjoyed this :))))

Also if you wanna play with me in genshin impact send me a dm or ask 🥴🥴 Btw if your wondering my team is, Lumie, Xingqiu, qiqi, and Yanfi!! I mostly main Lumie and Xingqiu hehe

Also my next part will include the rest of the Karasuno team so keep an eye out hehe! Also remember to take care of yourself ilysm!! 💖💖💖💖

reblogs are appreciated :))

[marukrawler]

bakugan battle brawlers liveblogging episode 38 (the unmasking episode!)

- legit, i’ve never seen this episode except for some images so im excited!

- but i sure do hope this fight is legendary lmao

- ig everyone ends up in the same spot when they win against the legendary warriors

- but the thing is. masquerade beat (maybe even killed but that can’t be right bc ace gets an attribute energy in s2 so exedra must still be alive) exedra but im sure he didn’t overcome his trial?? and yet hydra evolved. but when dan and drago beat apollonir, drago didn’t evolve until he passed his trial.

- unless masquerade did pass his trial and im just dumb

- im not even gonna ask how runo found alice in the outskirts of town lol

- alice, come get some therapy too

- i wonder if the aftermath of the masquerade reveal deals with runo and alice’ relationship, considering that alice is closest to runo out of all the brawlers.

- 😭😭😭

- iKR???? lmaoo

- wHY WOULD THEY INCLUDE THIS

- the fact that miyoko is here too??? wild!

- wouldn’t be golem unless he made an earth reference

- how did he get ur number

- also he called joe but not dan?? inch.resting

- oh

- wait does this mean that dan hijacks joe’s battle w masquerade lmaoo

- salty that you didn’t get a personal invite, eh

- they busting out the thick lines for this episode

- also love how dan’s trying to reason w the dude who sent drago off to die, that’s nice of him

- ok he’s still salty about that asldlkasdk

- bITCH HOW????

- we never had customization options before lmaooo

- something tells me marucho got his inspiration for bakugan interspace here

- thank god for translator’s notes

- lowkey did bakugan just decide to drop the 3 vs 3 bakugan battles and go for 1 on 1 already before nv even happened lmao

- omgg???

- can’t believe a card called ‘destroy vanish’ would kill drago, rip

- this is ironically not drago’s best episode, woww

- im dead at the fact that every time hydra is launched, he just rolls around trying to find the center of the card lmaoo

- ikr 😂😂 slow tf down, emo boi

- where’s miyoko when you need her

- wHO DREW???? THIS FRAME?????

- also yall clearly don’t have the patience of baron and mira if you think this is a long battle

- i. have so many questions.

- uh oh, dan’s getting unhinged

- if you tell me those muscles disappear later, im suing

- dan must’ve had whatever joe chucks on the regular lmaoo

- how is removing their gauntlets making this battle ‘fair and square’???

- this is so dumb omg

- i feel like this reaction would only have made sense if the threat of drago returning to the doom dimension was present throughout the battle but then masquerade decides to have an old fashioned battle and rescinds his doom card and that’s how it becomes ‘a true battle’

- this is literally the prototype ace vs dan battle lmao

- lmaooo ikr

- i think this is the only frame in this episode where drago’s looked decent lol

- the obligatory ‘let me win over the antagonist w the power of fun’, we been knew

- funny you should say that dan, considering YOU’RE NEVER ALLOWED TO LOSE AND HAVE FUN DOING IT

- love how there’s no hard feelings, he’s DEF had whatever joe’s having

- also holy shit, THE STADIUM???? good thing ur friends w marucho

- how do you wear a MASK and STILL show more emotion than shun, i don’t get it

- damn boi where do ur allegiance lie

- YALL ARE RLLY JUST GOING TO FORGIVE HIM LIKE THAT???? FR????? HE TRIED TO KILL YOU ALL WHAT IS THIS

- NO WAY IT WAS ALICE???? WTF HOW DID THIS HAPPEN I CAN’T

- rip in the chat, her muscles did disappear w the wind

- aLONG W ALL HER CUTS AND SCRAPES???? that’s handy

- ok the fight was a lot more interesting than the previous ones but idk, i guess i expected something w a bit more oomph?? idk ig i just don’t vibe w the guardian bakugans duking it out, i want the regular battles back lol bc they give opportunity to use a bigger variety of gate cards/ability cards than boost/subtract a certain amount of Gs.

- but man, i can’t wait to find out what happens in the next ep

[sssn-neptune-vasilias]

RWBY vs Comic

Alright, I said I was gonna do this back when the comic first started getting published but I got so frustrated reading it that I couldn’t actually keep up with it enough go through with it. I think I stopped around issue 4 because that was when I just got angry and threw my comic back into the plastic. I figure now’s as good a time as any since I’m actually rereading it now. My whole issue with the RWBY DC comics is that they’re super canon divergent but somehow still canon material. It’s so frustrating that this is the case because we’re supposed to take into account things that happen in the comic as gospel- things like Adam revealing he’d always been genocidal, Bumbleby’s bottlecap, Weiss’ zoo animal arc, etc, but a lot of these different story arcs don’t make sense in our current canon. So I’m gonna talk about them because why not.

 Issue #1:

The first issue actually isn’t that bad- mostly because it’s just an intro to the series- but there are still some huge inconsistencies between the comic and official canon.

These two panels are a fucking mess.

1) Ruby was passed out when she was delivered to Patch by Qrow. She’d just used her Silver Eyed Warrior powers for the first time, hurt Cinder, frozen the dragon, and passed out. We were literally forced to listen as Qrow carried Ruby out of the rubble and back home, because she was unconscious. But the comic has her just arriving back home all on her own. “I came back to my dad’s house.” No you didn’t, you literally woke up in your bed after what must’ve been days of being unconscious.

2) We know Blake didn’t get to Menagerie on a little wooden boat. We all watched the episode. It was a decent sized ship with multiple crew members, dozens of passengers, and literal armaments designed to destroy Grimm. Sun can’t hide in a robe for 3+ days on this boat. This boat wouldn’t have survived a Grimm attack in the first place. Idk why they decided to draw this boat instead of just drawing the Pride the way it was designed in the first place, but whatever I guess.

RNJR didn’t tell Taiyang they were leaving. Ruby and her team just left. There was a whole scene dedicated to showing the shock and horror on Tai’s face as he saw Ruby’s letter and ran out of the house hoping to catch up to his daughter before she left. Also not as important but still relevant, RNJR left during winter. There was snow on the ground. I don’t see no snow in this panel- that tree looks real green. That last issue is mostly a nitpick- who cares what season they left in tbh. But the fact that they just wrote this panel into the comic despite the fact canon shows Taiyang had no idea of Ruby’s departure- and the fact that Ruby’s departure is actually really important to a bunch of later scenes in this show is really fucking weird.

Issue #2:

I know we know next to nothing about Raven Branwen, but holy fucking shit do I wanna believe this is ridiculously out of character for her. You’re telling me that Raven actually did come visit Yang and Tai and Ruby, but the one time she ever made her presence known to any of them was to berate and terrify Ruby the one time she’d learned anything about Summer?! Like BRO. This is so fucked up! This is too fucked up! This is straight early 90′s level villainy right here. What was even the point behind this?! This scene tells us that she felt so negatively about Summer Rose that she was willing to break her silent cover just to disillusion Ruby for no other reason than to tell her she was weak. Which makes no fucking sense because when we finally meet her during season 5 Raven has nothing bad to say about Summer at all! What did Qrow say to her after they spoke? “Hey sis why the fuck are you flying around your ex’s home scaring his daughter who just lost her mother? You realize you’re talking shit about the woman who raised your child too right?” Like, this is so wildly terrible, that if we’re meant to take this into account, I don’t see how anyone who reads these comics could say anything positive about Raven ever again. This is strike one, two and three for her entire characterization.

Issue #4:

I’ve said it already but fuck this boat.

Not so much an issue with the comic as it is with RoosterTeeth’s sometimes sloppy storytelling, but we really need an exact age on Adam. Is this man a pedophile? We know Blake is about twelve here, meanwhile- besides looking maybe a little scrawnier- Adam looks the same as he did during the show. How old is this kid right here? Fifteen? Seventeen? Was he 20 during the events of volume 1? Was he 25? I really dislike this specific problem RT has created because at no point during canon were we led to believe that Adam was significantly older than Blake or our other characters, but here in the comic we’re getting huge pedo vibes. Idk if this was RoosterTeeth retroactively trying to throw Adam’s character even further into question but... Idk man, RT y’all need to hurry up and carbon date this kid because I’m really not liking this.

I’m not gonna harp on the whole “Adam as a revolutionary vs Adam as a genocidal maniac” issue again. Most of y’all already know where I stand on this and have either made up your minds that either, yes, Adam’s sudden change towards being genocidal after being forcibly conscripted by Cinder doesn’t make much sense, or, no, Adam’s behavior is entirely in line with what little we’d seen of him up to that point in the story. I’m not trying to change anyone’s opinions on this issue, I’ve got about a dozen other posts for that. My issue with these panels specifically is that this is the moment Blake discovers Adam is genocidal. This is the moment Blake realizes that Adam never wanted peace, never wanted coexistence, never wanted what the White Fang actually wanted in the first place. He wanted Faunus supremacy- a goal entirely removed from the White Fang’s goal of equality between Faunus and humans. This is the moment Blake realizes that his ideology is so far from what it is she herself wants. If this is correct, why does Blake never mention this AT ALL when she’s talking about Adam. When the conversation comes up during season 3, she specifically states that Adam’s change was gradual. Not that he’d been hiding who he really was from her but that he’d become a completely different person from the man she’d originally known. I recognize that a lot of people say that this could be explained away as evidence of Blake’s abuse- oftentimes abusers don’t even realize just how monstrous their abusers are, even after they’ve escaped from said abuse. But this is just such a monumentally larger issue than manipulation and abuse. Adam is outright saying that he wants genocide! He’s not trying to hide it, he’s not trying to lie, he’s not trying to manipulate her! He’s telling her explicitly that he wishes he could kill as many humans as possible. But during the Black Trailer she’s still asking Adam about the crew members as if they hadn’t had this conversation hours ago! During season 2 she’s drawing him in her notebook as if she misses him! During season 3 she’s explaining that he’s simply misguided! This is apologia of the umpteenth level that is absolutely inexcusable. If I’m honestly supposed to be made to believe that Blake knew Adam was genocidal from before the events of the Black trailer and season 1 but still had feelings for him... I’m sorry but I’ve lost any and all respect for her entire character. You can’t have feelings for someone who’s genocidal- who you know is genocidal- and expect sympathy. No amount of abuse would forgive someone for having feelings for Hitler.

I recognize the comics aren’t supposed to be a shot for shot recreation of the show, but what the fuck is this panel? The frame of Adam dismembering Yang was such a good, amazing, impactful frame. The black and red framing, the yellow of Yang’s hair and weapons, the red of Adam’s sword. Why would you not even try to recreate that?

Leaving nitpicks for the end, really wish they hadn’t used “sunflower” here. That’s Yang/Ren. But again, the comic is made by people who aren’t in the fndm and don’t interact with the RWBY community at large in the first place, so of course they wouldn’t know.

Issue #5:

Why does Blake seem so ooc here. Like, the fact that she’s trying to make Weiss feel guilty for “cheating” in a “win by any means necessary” free for all match is really??? Weird??? When we know Blake isn’t above using underhanded tricks herself considering what she did to Reese during the tournament and her Semblance in general??? But whatever, that’s mostly a nitpick as well.

Issue #7:

My issue with this story is that it ends with Yang like, wistfully thinking of spending more time with Blake. But this is before she even put the prosthetic on. This is before she even got to talk with Weiss after meeting up with Raven. This is so early on in her healing process that I find it extremely difficult to believe that Yang is fondly remembering any time she spent with Blake. When Ruby talks to her during 3.12, she was angry that Blake had left her! Abandoned her! And then in the conversation she has with Weiss that happens after this event in the comic she’s still frustrated with Blake for leaving. So like... did she suddenly forgive Blake just a few weeks into her recovery and then relapse back into feeling like she’d abandoned her? Wtf is this?

Issue #9:

I know she’s obviously supposed to be drunk here, and we barely got to know her during the short scenes she had, but like... she never struck me as this kind of person. To literally forget how old her daughter is? Like...???? The same woman who was so perceptive she was able to recognize that Whitley was acting out because he’d felt lonely and abandoned by his sisters? Doesn’t know how old one of her children is? This is silly.

This isn’t the same woman we met during season 7. This isn’t the same quick witted woman who immediately directed Weiss to the cameras she’d hidden around the house when it was time to spring the trap on Jacques. This isn’t the same woman who was so honest when she admitted to her own faults just a few short months after this scene supposedly took place. You could argue that the events of this comic are what led Willow to become the person we meet later on, but like... That’s an absolutely ridiculous amount of offscreen growth you’re expecting me to just assume has happened. These aren’t the same people. This is ridiculous.

Issue #12:

This seems so ooc for Sun. Why is he literally begging her to run away and not face a problem when his entire relationship with Blake up to and past this point is him teaching Blake to love herself enough to face her problems head-on in the first place? This is so weird and gross imo because it just feels like they’re warping Sun’s character to make it look like Yang is the only good influence in her life when that’s simply not the case. Every conversation Sun has with Blake from season 1 to season 6 is him telling her that she deserves happiness, love, and to forgive herself. There are multiple songs about this aspect of their relationship! Sun has helped Blake grow just as much as Yang has. Why is Sun taking this approach to manipulate Blake into staying silent about something that’s bothering her? On top of that, Sun’s never been the brightest banana of the bunch anyway, why the FUCK is he smart enough here to recognize that if Blake tells the truth and makes those people feel bad, that they’d draw more Grimm? He’s never been this intuitive before. It really feels like they made him smarter than he normally is just to make him scummier than he’s ever been so that we could feel that Blake’s relationship with Sun is less than her relationship with Yang. Awful writing and characterization from the RWBY DC team here

Issue #13:

This is so wrong and despicable and manipulative and terrible. Again, this isn’t the same woman we met in the show. 

Willow never made excuses for herself or her actions like this. Not once during the entire time she was on screen did she do anything like this. She knew she wasn’t a great mother and she took full responsibility for her actions- and inaction- I don’t know WHY she’s trying to excuse herself here. This is more Cruella De Ville than it is Willow Schnee.

I’m not gonna explain how lumping this “prized menagerie” story with “Faunus slave labor” story together is godawful but just recognize that it’s Black History Month and this plot point they decided to write in is not MLK approved.

Anyway, that’s the whole RWBY DC run. All in all it wasn’t the worst adaptation of an established series, but goddamn. I’d rank this up there with Eragon or Percy Jackson or the end of the Soul Eater anime or something. This is such a slap in the face by people who obviously only ever skimmed through the show for the explicit purpose of writing this series that I’ve read fancomics and fanfiction that handle canon better than this. It’s really frustrating too because this comic run is like, beloved by certain people in the fndm who are only in this for the ships, and people who refuse to see anything wrong with this series ever. The healthy servings of Bumbleby and crumbs of Monochrome and White Rose are apparently enough to make people go “fuck all the inconsistencies, this comic is great.” Cannot express how much these people make me wanna slam my head into a wall. 

I did this just to highlight all the issues I have with the run, but I’m sure other people have other issues with this comic than I do. Have fun in the comments I guess.

[tommysparker]

Man In Leather

Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader

A/N: Woah, two fics in a row? Crazy I know. Anyways, here is the LONG awaited fic! I’m sorry it took so long to write, but here it is. Black&White CH.2 will be the main focus of my writing until I get it done, so stay tuned for whenever the hell that comes out. Till then, enjoy :)

Warnings: smut, couple no-no words, Harrison going commando in leather pants, fluff at the end and a bit of pining, kind of Grease!AU, hints of sub!haz, bad porn with an even worse plot

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The music was loud, the people were drunk, and you were hanging around the snack table while scanning the room, solo cup filled with death juice in hand. Totally normal Friday night. 

Your friends had left to go mingle, but not before encouraging you to find someone to get busy with, someone to get your mind off of him.  

Your mind wandered at the thought of him. Taken back to the summer nights on the beach, the sound of waves crashing against rocks as you cuddled on the bench-swing. Those late nights and early mornings filled with passion and intimacy…only to be ripped away when autumn decided to fall. 

“Well well well, if it isn’t Y/n Y/L/N,” a british accent sang over the music. 

You turned your head to see the infamous Tom Holland, with Greg Birks and a boy you didn't recognize standing behind him. 

“Tommy, long time no see,” you smiled. Tom had been a close friend of yours growing up, but grew apart under...unfortunate circumstances. “Thought you were too cool to hangout at shitshows like this?”

Tom laughed, “Only you would call one of the biggest parties on the block a “shitshow” darling. I’m actually here because a certain person wanted to see you,” his eyes glanced back at the guy standing next to Greg. 

The boy stepped forward, and you nearly fainted right there after one look. 

Harrison James Fucking Osterfield...in leather pants. 

The blue-eyed boy stood composed, but on the inside you knew he was nervous. A cigarette hung loosely from his lips, which was new. Who were you kidding, everything about the person that stood in front of you was new. 

Last time you saw Harrison, he was wearing a cream-coloured sweater and sweatpants, hair messy and glasses pushed up on the bridge of his nose. And now, a year later, here he was. Except this time decked out in a leather jacket and white-tee, pants that honestly did not look comfortable, hair gelled back and eyes illuminated by the flashing lights. 

It took a few seconds for the initial shock to wear off before you collected yourself. “H-Haz I-...I didn’t recognize you, um, you look good.” You mentally cursed yourself for stuttering. Get it together Y/L/N. 

Harrison smiled, taking in your appearance while his mind went back to the time you spent together. No matter what you were, or weren’t, wearing, you always looked incredible from his perspective. “Hi Y/n…” 

Tom took one glance between you two before pulling on Greg’s arm. “We’ll let you two catch up,” he not-so-subtly winked at Haz before soon being swallowed by the crowd of pissed partiers

The air suddenly became stiff once it was just you and him, neither of you knowing what to say next. Harrison fiddled with the silver ring on his finger, something you quickly took notice of. 

“That’s new...I mean, well everything about you is new. What happened to Haz who wore knit-jumpers and spec?” You questioned, genuinely curious how and more importantly why the sudden transformation from ‘library nerd’ to ‘biker gang’. 

He smiled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. “Yeah well, the boys thought it was time for a makeover...d-do you like it?” He studied your face, hoping for a positive reaction. 

You took in his attire again, except this time with more focus on how the material hugged his legs and arms tightly, and how the white-tee really brought out his eyes in the dim light, and how fucking sexy he looks with his hair gelled back like that. Oh yeah, you definitely like it. 

A wave of confidence flooded your body as you grabbed the sides of his face and crashed your lips onto his. Haz, startled at first but quickly came back to his senses, kissed back almost immediately. The familiar feeling of your lips moulding with his brought back so many memories. 

Stolen kisses before bed, hands all over each other, you pushing him onto the bed, holding his arms up and-- 

You were the first to pull away, breathing slightly heavier and a small smile forming at the corner of your mouth. “let me show you how much I love it.” You whispered in his ear, placing a gentle kiss at the edge before taking his hand and maneuvering your way to the upstairs rooms. Luckily for you, the owner of the house was a friend of a friend, so you had no problem finding a place with a decent sized bed. 

Harrison followed you eagerly, more recollections passing through his mind as he felt his pants become tighter than they already were. The whole journey up the stairs was a mess between quick kisses and tripping over one another, but a remaining constant was his hand laced into yours, without any objections. 

Once you both stumbled into the empty room and closed the door, Harrison pulled you into a needy make-out session. Your back was pressed against the wall while your hands wandered beneath the leather jacket, feeling his toned muscle through the thin shirt. Meanwhile, the blue-eyed boy gripped your hips, squeezing the love-handles gently causing a light hum to emit from your vocal cords. His fingers gently tugged at the hem of your shirt, and that’s when you knew it was time. The music from downstairs drowned out from both your awareness, in that moment the only thing you could focus on was each other and the burning desire that was cutting the tension in the room. 

Hesitantly, you pushed Harrison off of you, not missing the soft whine he let out and the slightly hurt expression he wore on his face. It, however, was quickly replaced with a smile when crossed your arms over and pulled your top off slowly. His eyes drank in every part of your torso, thinking how someone like him ever got the chance to score someone like you.

Little did he know, you were thinking the same thing. 

Once your shirt was tossed aimlessly across the room, you swiftly recaptured his lips with yours and carefully guided yourselves to the bed. Harrison followed your lead, walking backwards until his legs hit the frame and he fell on to the mattress. 

Unfazed, you climbed on top of him, like a predator about to pounce on its prey. Your body hovered over his, breathing in sync as you straddled his waist. His hands went to grab your waist again, however they were quickly pushed above his head and into the duvet. Naturally, he didn’t expect anything less, and the dark look in your eyes only excited him further. 

“You gonna be a good boy for me, Hazzy?” You asked, smirking when you felt something twitch against your core. Seriously, who let this man wear these pants?

  The boy beneath you nodded. He knew how this worked. You were always in control, always the top, even when you weren’t. No matter how many times he’s gone down on you, it’s you who always has the authority. He wanted to be good for you, to please you like no one but him could. He wanted more than a summer fling or casual hook-up, he wanted you to be his. Only fitting seeing as, though you may not have realized it, he was already yours. 

The whole reason he asked Tom to help him change his ‘style’ was to get you to take interest in him again. You were always on his mind and he needed to do everything in his power to win you back in his life, even if that meant playing dress up in order to look more appealing. 

Harrison was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling your lips on his neck, hot kisses trailing up and down his throat. The sensation alone was enough to grab the attention of the little guy. 

You smiled slyly as you left marks on his neck, biting and sucking on the spots you knew would gain the most reaction. The blue-eyed boy let out breathy moans beneath you, hands switching from resting on the bed, your waist, your thighs, finally settling on cupping your breasts through your bra. You sat up as he squeezed the material gently, reaching around to unclip the undergarment while Harrison struggled to take the jacket off. 

Harrison heard you chuckle in amusement, blushing lightly as he finally managed to free his arm from the gripping sleeve. He didn’t hesitate to follow up by removing his shirt from the equation, which was much easier considering he was smart for once and put on a loose-fitting tee to give himself some breathing room. 

You stared shamelessly at the now-shirtless man in front of you, and all-be-damned if the greek gods didn’t bless him overnight with that gorgeous build. Holy shit, is the only thing you could think of as your fingers grazed over his torso, fingers tracing every ab and indent. 

Harrison squirmed under you, hips bucking up ever so slightly. He was slowly starting to get desperate and really needed any form of friction, so he took to grabbing your waist and grinding up into you, letting out a small sigh at the relief. 

You gasped quietly at the sudden sensation, instinctively moving your hips in sync so you were moving in unison, the sounds of small moans filling the room. You resumed your previous actions, planting your lips on different areas on the boy’s throat, slowly moving further down to his collarbone, a.k.a the sweet spot.  

Harrison mewled when he felt your teeth graze against the area, nipping and licking some of his most sensitive places. His hips moved faster while the grip on you tightened as he tried to get you to do the same. However, this apparently wasn’t the ideal. 

You grabbed his wrists, pushing them into the mattress above his head. You adored how he willingly let you do this, even though he could easily turn the tables with the amount of muscle the boy packed, he still continued to submit to your needs. “Getting needy, baby boy?” 

He nodded his head quickly, shifting beneath you. “Pants off, now.” 

“Not with that attitude,” you teased, letting go of his hands and moving your own down to his belt.

Harrison rolled his eyes, a smile forming on his clean-shaven face. “Please will you take off my pants before they’re too tight to move in?” 

You grinned, “Atta boy.” 

Hooking your fingers under the waistband, slowly pulling down the piece of clothing, Haz lifting his hips to aid the process. You struggled a bit, whacking yourself in the head with your arm more than once, earning a couple giggles from both parties, before finally getting past the -ahem- obstacle that prevented you from removing the material. 

Harrison audibly sighed in relief, happy to be free from his restraints. 

And to your surprise, his cock slapped against his lower-stomach, red and already leaking from the head. “Going commando, handsome? You dirty boy.” 

The flustered boy could only smile coyly, “In my defence, it was the easiest way to put those bloody things on.” 

“That’s fair,” you replied as you wrapped your hand around the swollen member and stroked it lightly. 

Haz let out a shaky breath, head leaning back as his eyes fell shut. Memories flashed before his eyes. 

Your mouth on his cock, moving your head up and down swiftly while he writhed beneath you. You held eye-contact, mischievous and confidence powering your every move. 

The feeling of your thighs shaking against his shoulders as he ate you out like it was the last meal he’d ever have, small whimpers coming from above while he rubbed his thumb against your clit. 

His hold on your ass as you rode him, kneading the flesh and overall desperate for something to hold on to. Your breasts bouncing in front of his eyes, a hand on his chest while the other gripped his hip. 

The sound of soft drawn out moans filling his ears. The feel of constantly being right on the edge, your walls squeezing him perfectly, his muscles twitching. Both backs arched in unison, a silent cry being released into the air as you both flew into total bliss. 

In real time, his body was reacting to the thoughts, as if he was really experiencing each scenario. Before he knew it, Harrison’s moans grew louder as he approached his climax, he looked down at you and immediately flung his head back into the pillow, the sight of you being too much to handle. 

Your tongue circled his tip, one hand pumping vigorously while the other massaged his balls. His cock twitched against your touch, but before it could reach it’s breaking point you eased up, retracting any stimulation provided and watched in amusement as Haz whined. 

“Oh come on! I was so close…” 

“I know,” You said while sitting up. “You didn’t think I would let you cum so soon, did you?” 

Harrison shook his head slowly, blue eyes dark with lust as he watched you shimmy out of your bottoms. He took in your image, every piece of you being painted in his mind like a beautiful muse. Every stretch mark, every battle scar, your body was like a drug he was addicted to.

You straddled his waist, this time bare skin against bare skin, grinding against him. You moaned every time your clit caught against his tip. Leaning down, your mouth explored every part of his torso, tongue circling his nipples before sliding up and tracing his collarbone, your lips leaving love bites in its wake. The sight of him under you, all marked up was enough to put an end to your own game. Afterall, you were teasing yourself just as much as you were teasing him. 

Harrison, as if sensing what was about to happen next, held your hips and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Th-there’s condoms in my pocket...either my jacket or pants, don’t remember.” 

“Seems to me like you planned this,” You said as you got up and started searching through the discarded clothing. 

The boy blushed, “Well I knew you would be here so... thought might as well take the chance,” he shrugged, subtly eyeing your ass when you bent over to pick up his jacket. 

You hummed in response, smiling when you found the small square packet. You were about to put the leather down, but instead decided to put it on. You shivered a bit when the cold material touched your skin, turning around to see Harrison gaping at your new look. 

“You...look really hot in that.”

You chuckled, climbing back on top and tearing the plastic away with your teeth. “According to you, I look hot in everything.” 

“I’m not wrong though,” He grinned, biting his lip as he felt the latex slide down his cock. It wasn’t always ideal, but better safe than sorry. 

In one swift motion, you connected like two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit. His tip nudging that spot inside you without even trying. You both let out a sigh at the familiar feeling, not moving, just letting the memory of sex on the beachhouse balcony pass through your minds, all the moments of enjoying each others presence in pure bliss. 

Your own bodies betray the wishful thinking of staying in the moment. You clench around him and he moans lightly, and a simple sound like that was all you needed to set off that fire boiling inside your core. 

You raise your hips until only the head of his cock is in and sink back down on his length, setting a passionate yet frantic pace, your heart wanting to feel every second but your brain forcing your body to tend to its pleasurable needs. 

The room feels silent, save for sounds that follow your actions. Neither of you hear the people downstairs, nor can you feel the vibrations of the music blasting through speakers. You only hear each other’s moans, feel each other’s touch. 

It goes by in a blur. At one point his mouth was on your breast, your hand was on his throat, both of you lost in the time spent together. 

After all was done, you both laid in the other’s embrace, his hand playing with your hair while you traced shapes on his naked chest, the warm leather jacket increasing the sense of security you felt around him. 

“You know…” You spoke suddenly, breaking the otherwise comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you, “You don’t have to change your clothes just to get me into you.” 

Harrison tensed a little, unsure where this conversation was headed. “Yeah…? I-I guess I just figured since you were into the whole ‘Greaser’ look more...if I was like that then...maybe you’d...uh...go out with me? For real this time.” 

You smiled, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his now-swollen lips. “You div, if you asked months ago you would’ve known I don’t care about what kind of pants you wear. I just want the Harrison I had last summer…” 

The blue-eyed boy smiled back, “Then you have him...you’ve always had him, darling.” 

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Happy Birthday Harrison!!

All: @greenorangevioletgrass @allegra-writes @soraitmnt @worldoftom @farfromparker @angel-spidey @parkerpeter24 @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @the-panwitch @rebekkah4766 @hollandsamor @spideygirl2003 @theactualprincessofeverything @halfblood-princess-505 @the-crazy-fanfictionist

Harrison Osterfield: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

“Sugar Baby” (ask meme).

Alternate meeting fic!

Lucifer & Mammon are in the human realm for something or another, whatever business would require Lucifer to drag Mammon along and have them stay a few days. On the first day Mammon sees something shiny that catches his attention, it's some small trinket that they have right at the checkout counter of shops, it's basically worthless but fuck if he doesn't want it and he's begging Lucifer using puppy dog eyes that he knows for a fact will work if he just gets Lucifer to look directly at him. Lucifer refuses and they're causing a scene and holding up the line. When a human slaps down the thing Mammon wants on the counter and pays for it and then pushes it towards him. The man is absolutely flabbergasted. Just so much confusion. He's stuttering, flushing, trying to say he doesn't need the charity of some random human while also clutching on to the item with a death grip. The human barely blinks and has already started loading their things on to the counter and then Lucifer is dragging Mammon out while still scolding him.

The next day he sneaks out, he doesn't have much money because he'd just finished paying the witches but now that he was in the human world he might as well go visit the kid even if that means the witches will start making their demands earlier. No way he's gonna turn up empty handed though, Mammon needs ta spoil his brat. So he's haggling with the cashier trying to reduce the price of a soft toy (it's a crow plushie - look he didn't mean to pick it up it's just that it looked cute and the kid liked the dumb bird and it's not because of any connection to him okay) when someone drops the remaining cash on the counter and Mammon's freaking out because that's definitely the same human as last time and are they following him??? Are they a witch???? Do they want something???? Are they evil????? And the human's just like I work here????? And you looked like you really wanted it? And it's not that much money??? And Mammon just kinda walks away in a daze clutching the toy to his chest and face bright red. The human stares after him because wtf??? They worked retail part time, they had no money to spare on some random guy just cause he was cute but MC's dumb and smitten so of course they run after him and ask if they can treat him to a coffee after their shift and Mammon who's only ever fucked around and never in his thousands of years gone on an actual date where someone paid for him is so fucking confused because had this human figured out he's a demon? Is this them making a tribute? Do they want to make a pact? But free stuff is free stuff! So he agrees and when they meet up later the human buys him coffee and when he eyes some spicy looking treat in the display case they buy it for him without a word. And Mammon is giddy because holy shit what is happening!? And he's flustered because holy shit what is happening!? And his stomach feels weird and his face is hot and his heart is pounding. And he blurts out 'Do you wanna fuck?' loud enough that people turn to look at them. And the human is confused and stuttering and red faced. And thinking they don't understand he asks them what they want in return for everything they've bought him and then they're cackling and saying they just thought he was cute and obviously he's protesting and saying he's not cute and after that they both end up relaxing and actually having a fun time. Lucifer looks ready to kill him when he gets back.

On the third day he loses Lucifer again and goes to give the toy, later he hangs around the places he last saw the human. Not because he's hoping they'll run into him or anything! They do however run into him and they seem happy to see him and he doesn't think anyone has ever been happy to see him before except maybe the pipsqueak and his stomach feels funny again and his face feels hot and his heart is pounding and the human is telling him about a carnival that's in town and asking him to come with them. Obviously he agrees and they end up paying for games and rides and buying any food his eyes linger on for just a second too long. When he goes back to the room they're staying in Lucifer is there, pissed beyond belief and knowing exactly what's going on (because no matter what world they are in Lucifer still has eyes and ears in every corner). He yells and Mammon actually yells back for once and it's not just the stuff that the human got him it's that the human treats him kindly and with respect and makes him laugh and suddenly he's gushing about them and Lucifer's looking at him with something close to horror. And then Lucifer's mask is cracking and he's talking about what happened the last time one of them fell for a human and "I nearly lost my mind along with Lilith. Losing her, being unable to save her, was the single most painful thing to ever happen. Mammon. I can't go through that again. I can't lose you too. I don't know what I'll do if I lose you. How I'll survive it. Not a human, Mammon. Anything but a human. You've only known them for a few days, leave them. Please."

So Mammon does, they cut their visit short. Though the human doesn't run into Mammon again they do keep coming into money, more than enough to cover everything they bought him. They find loose change in their pockets, they get a bonus at work, they find some cash tucked into their couch cushions, they impulsively buy a lottery and actually win a decent amount.

Mammon who despite listening to Lucifer in the beginning eventually let's his greed (for the human more than the things they bought him) over take him and he makes any excuse to sneak out to the human world (what's the worst that could happen), each time he meets them and each time they buy him something different. It's never anything outrageously expensive and usually that's what he would value but he finds himself hoarding and treasuring every little thing they give him. Lucifer finds out eventually and is beyond pissed and actually locks Mammon up to prevent him from going to see the human (because there was no one in this world to tell him that locking your brothers up when they piss you off is not okay) but when he eventually releases Mammon he's off like a shot back to the human world, back to his human and to the little things they had seen and bought because they thought he would like them, while he was away. And Lucifer stops getting in the way, actually goes so far as to sigh and huff and grumble and give Mammon permission to access the human world only if it means he'll go straight to the human and not cause any trouble on the way.

Mammon's spends a good amount of time with the human and even his brothers slowly, one by one trickle in to the human world to see what's so special about this particular human. And though this pisses Mammon off a part of him is glad that they seem to be willing to accept his human and even more pleased that the human seems to have no inclination to shower them with gifts for seemingly no reason.

At some point Mammon realises he's in love with the human, deeply so, and he's pretty sure the human actually loves him back, and that's a crazy thought isn't it. Eventually of course Mammon decided he loves the human too much to keep lying to them and he needs to tell them what he actually is. So he spends the day pampering them. After, he sits them down and after a lot of stuttering, yelling to himself, dragging his hands through his hair while they sit patiently next on their couch, he slumps down next to them and looking at the floor says, "I'm a demon." When he doesn't get a reply he looks up at them. Their face is blank and they blink slowly. "Mammon," they say gently, "we've been together for 217 years."

The reason Lucifer stopped trying to get in the way is because after locking Mammon away for close to 60 years and then letting him leave so that he'd either see his human aged or dead, only for Mammon to come back as chirpy as ever with more of his little trinkets Lucifer realised oh wait maybe the human isn't actually a human afterall and this should be okay then right